#been out all day but finally got back and remembered i meant to upload a beautiful unfolding today!

[ellcrys]

yusei/aki | a beautiful unfolding

[andreafmn]

Speak | Chapter 9

Word Count: 3.6K Story Description: Bella Swan was a disaster when Edward had left. Deciding she needed a little help, Charlie Swan receives with open arms his younger daughter (Y/N) Swan. She helps Bella during her depression and becomes inseparable from her long-lost friend Jacob. What she didn’t expect was falling for a hotheaded short-tempered silver wolf. Chapter: 9/? A/N: one day I'll upload early, y'all. but I am truly trying to keep to the schedule I posted, as hard as it is. But thank you for bearing with me. You guys have no idea how much it means to me 🥰🤍 My content will always be free, but if you’re feeling particularly generous, you can leave a tip on any of my posts to support me and my love of writing or buy me a coffee TikTok • Instagram • Business | MASTERLIST If you’d like to be tagged in this or any other story: click here Make sure you have my notifications on so you know every time I post!  Taglists for Twilight get filled quick and Tumblr only lets me tag up to a certain point. Notifications are your best bet.

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Chapter 9

The Swan sisters had been raised with a misconstrued idea that the new year meant a fresh start, a clean slate. That it could magically erase any and all afflictions the year before had caused. That it truly was the first page of a new chapter.

And maybe that’s all that (Y/N) was hoping for that New Year’s Eve. That the coming year would be the first page of her new chapter in Forks. That whatever was happening with Paul would die that December night. That Bella would finally turn over a new leaf and forget Edward. That she could move forward with her relationship with Jake.

Because that’s what she wanted.

That’s what she had always wanted.

The thing she most needed was to get over whatever fluke it was that had made its way into her life. Whatever breach into her timeline that had decided to make her heart flutter out the sound of someone else’s name. It had been too sudden and unexplainable to not be a mistake.

Paul Lahote had no business settling into her heart in the way he had, and she would stop at nothing to pluck him as quickly as he had attached himself. Even if she looked forward to seeing him in her dreams at night, even if her heart skipped a beat at the mere thought of him, even if all she wanted was to get as close to him as possible.

(Y/N) wanted —at least she thought she wanted— to go back to being excited that Jacob had finally set his sights on her. She wanted the same thrill she got about Paul with Jake. He had been the crush that had withstood the trials of time. It could not be trampled over by a guy she barely knew.

Yet, she could not stop thinking how his favorite color was red, how he moved to La Push after his parent’s divorced when he was eight, how he didn’t remember much of his mother even though he had been old enough to, how he had never been in love but desperately wanted to know what it felt like. (Y/N) could not stop picturing the way his eyes would shine under the warm glow of the setting sun, how his smile would grow as he listened intently to every word she spoke. Nor could she shake off the feeling of his warm skin against hers, how soft his hands had felt where she believed they’d be rough and calloused. He was everything and nothing like she had thought, but she knew that was as far as she could go to know him.

“Well, don’t you look mighty nice?” Charlie’s voice broke his daughter out of thought. “I think you’ve been to more bonfires this month than I have been to in years. People might start forgetting the sheriff’s face around there.”

“I doubt that’s even possible, dad,” she chuckled, smoothing over a piece of hair that had been unruly for the better part of the day. “Really wish you could join us, though. Since Bella won’t be making it out there, I wanted a Swan there for moral support.”

“This about that Paul fella?”

The question took (Y/N) aback. She had thought no one but Jake knew about that whole fiasco, and she was certain he had not said anything to her dad. “How do you…?” she stammered.

“Bella muttered a thing or two about him. Said he was the one you had been with the other night,” her father said. “Something happen with you and Jake?”

“Nothing happened,” she muttered. “I’m just making new friends seeing as my stay in Forks might be longer than anticipated.”

“Well, that’s a good idea. Just be careful of the people you keep in your company.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Jake might have mentioned this Paul Lahote character is not the greatest influence,” Charlie added. “He thinks he might not have the purest of intentions with you, (Y/N). I just don’t wanna see you get hurt.”  

“Well, I can tell you right now that you have nothing to worry about,” (Y/N) smiled comfortingly.  The last thing she wanted was for her father to worry about her when his other daughter was still no more than a statue in their home.  “I have only hung out with him that one time and I don’t think it’ll happen again. But thanks for checking in.”

“Just wanna make sure your transition back here is as smooth as possible, kiddo,” he responded warmly. “I know it’s gonna be hard to settle back here after being with your mom for so long. Forks might be a bit slow but it’s truly home.”

“I’m actually excited about staying. Even if it wasn’t the plan originally, there’s something about this town that’s just begging for me to stay,” she confessed. “Even if I came to help with Bella, I’m glad I decided to stay. It will also keep mom from taking us both back to Florida —at least for a while.”

“Can I tell you a secret?” The older Swan said before she nodded in response. “I’m just glad you two wanted to spend time with your old man. Even if I have no idea what I’m doing.”

“You’re doing good, dad,” (Y/N) chuckled. “I will say you got the shortest end of the stick having to be the one dealing with this breakup but I know you’re doing the absolute best you can. Hopefully, this new year brings us all the fresh start we so desperately need.”

“I hope so too, kiddo,” he sighed in defeat. “But have fun tonight, (Y/N), and make good choices.”

“Have I ever done anything else?”

“Very funny, kid,” Charlie chuckled. “Well, I’m off to work. I’ll probably not be here yet when you get back, so happy new year, (Y/N). And have fun.”

“Happy New Year, dad.”

Everything in Forks seemed to move at a punishingly fast pace, even if at times it felt like the town was stuck in time. But (Y/N) had been there almost four weeks which had already felt like a lifetime.

In comparison to living with Phil and her mother, in the midst of travel and adventures that she had loved for a time, (Y/N) had forgotten the calmness of remaining stagnant, of going to sleep and waking in the same home. She had forgotten what walking the halls of a school felt like, of having a group of friends that lasted more than a year.

Forks would give her that opportunity, or at least she hoped it would. The town had already started to change her and given her more than she could’ve hoped for. And that night she truly believed would set everything in the correct motion. Everything she had wished for with no more flukes.

An hour later and from the street she heard the honk of a horn. She gave herself a once over, not feeling completely comfortable with the way she looked that night. In part, she felt it was merely the nerves of seeing Jacob after the altercation with Paul.

But there was another part, the bigger part, that knew it was because of Paul. There was a calming thrill to him that she couldn’t explain. Even the juxtaposition of the thought made no sense to her. As much as she wanted to stay away from him, she wanted to get closer. It scared and excited her all at once.

Yet, the person that was waiting for her was not him. It was Jake, waiting impatiently behind the wheel of his truck.

“What took you so long?” Jacob grumbled as (Y/N) got into the car. “We’re already late as it is.”

“Sorry, Jake. I couldn’t find my jacket.”

“It’s fine, (Y/N). It’s just that Quil came back from his trip, and I wanted to catch up with him before school starts,” he said. “I also haven’t seen Embry since last weekend since he was with his mom visiting some family.”  

“Yeah, I get that,” (Y/N) responded meekly, sinking into her seat. “At least we have the rest of the night to hang out with them.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” he smiled forcefully. “What about Bella? Is she not coming?”

“No,” she said through gritted teeth. “She wasn’t up to coming. Still bummed about this Edward guy.”

“What a shame,” Jake sighed. “Being around people would be good for her.”

“Yeah, maybe,” she mumbled. “But I can’t really force her. This guy did a number on her and nothing dad and I are doing is working. I’ve even decided to…”

“Maybe you guys don’t know her as well as you thought,” he blurted. “I mean, no offense but she’s not the same girl that left Arizona. She’s not even the same girl that came to Forks.”

“That doesn’t mean we can’t help her, Jake. And that’s what we have been doing this whole time. Still, we can’t help someone that doesn’t want to help themselves.”

“I’m not trying to start a fight, (Y/N),” he grumbled. “I’m just saying that  maybe your efforts have not worked because she’s not the same Bella you knew.”

The girl remained quiet, anger filling her body instantly. Bella remained a sore subject in the new relationship, always being brought up by Jacob, reminding (Y/N) that he had liked her sister first –and, deep down, she knew he probably still did. Still, wanted to remain in the delusion that he had chosen her for as long as she could.

“It’s fine. Let’s just drop this, okay?” (Y/N) pleaded. “I just want to enjoy tonight. Please.”

“Alright, yeah. Whatever.”

The rest of the ride went by in silence, a heavy tension filling the air and suffocating her. At that moment, more than ever before in her life, she needed to believe that the new year was truly a fresh start. A new beginning for her sister, a new beginning for her relationship, and a new beginning for her life in Forks.

As soon as the truck rolled to a stop, Jake was out of the car and heading to the beach, mumbling something to (Y/N) that he was gonna see his friends and that he’d catch up to her soon enough. Then, he left her in between the small sea of cars that lined the border of the beach.

The younger Swan was left dumbfounded, completely perplexed at Jake’s reaction. His outburst had made her feel small and unwanted. And as she stood frozen at her spot, watching the community celebrate before her, she wondered if there was any reason for her to be there. Because maybe the best thing she could do, for everyone, was leave.

“I’m glad you came, (Y/N),” a voice startled her. “You look beautiful tonight.”

“Paul, hi,” she blushed, looking down at the black jumpsuit she wore under a white coat. “Thank you. You look great too. Especially with my sweater.”

“Oh, it was cold tonight and it was the first thing I grabbed,” he chuckled. “I promise I was gonna bring it back to you, not use it like it was mine.”

“Honestly, it looks better on you than it does me. Sometimes I feel like I drown in it.”

“I’m sure that’s not true. Your look great in a paper bag,” he grinned. “But I really am glad you came tonight.”

“And why is that, Paul Lahote?”

“Because I wanted to apologize for the other day. I never wanted things to end the way they did,” he said. His eyes searched hers in the darkness, wanting nothing more than for his hands to reach her, to feel her skin against his once more. “I’m sorry if I caused any trouble between you and Jacob. The last thing I would have ever wanted was for you to be blamed for my actions. You don’t deserve that.”

“Thank you, Paul,” she smiled, her hand unconsciously reaching for his, giving it a comforting squeeze. “But it’s not your fault. I was the one that agreed to spend time with you knowing that Jake would blow off the handle. If anyone is to blame for what happened that night, it’s me.”

Paul couldn’t help himself as his free hand flew to rest on her cheek, cradling her face in a soothing manner. “Nothing that happened was your fault, (Y/N),” he said. “Jake simply showed you who he is. You never did anything wrong. We didn’t do anything wrong.”

In that split second, (Y/N) remembered Jake’s words. She broke away from his contact, as though his touch had burned her skin, turning away from the enchanting trance his eyes held over her.

“What’s wrong?”

“It's just that Jake said something about you and… your past,” she sighed. “He said I was just an attempt to make your body count higher.”

“I hope you know how untrue that is,” he said, seething on the inside but not daring to show it to her. “You are special, (Y/N), and I would never do anything that would make you feel otherwise.”

“But why, Paul? What is so special about me? To everyone, I’m just Bella’s little sister.”

“You have to know that that is the least interesting thing about you,” he said. He reached out to her, needing to look her in the eye again. “You’re funny, you’re kind, you’re smart and witty. And that’s merely the tip of the iceberg. I may not have known you for long but I know there’s so much more to you than you let on. And all I’ve wanted was to learn about those parts that you hide from everyone else.”

“I still don’t know why!” (Y/N) responded, frustration pooling beads of tears in the corners of her eyes. “How can I trust someone that somehow says everything I want to hear but won’t give me a straightforward answer? Why me, Paul? Out of all the people in the world, why do you want to know me?”

At that moment, he felt he would spill everything. He wanted her to know just why it was her, why the universe had decided that it had to be her. Paul wanted to confess what bonded them and would keep them for the rest of their lives.

And he would have, but the fear of putting her in any danger could not let him say the words. He could not bring himself to utter any of the words that would throw her life up in shambles. “Why not you, (Y/N)?” he asked her, biting his tongue to keep what he wanted to say from spilling. “Is it so hard to believe that I could have seen you and be intrigued by you?”

“You saw me for a split second, Paul. Someone you’ve never known of cannot be worth all this trouble.”

“You are worth it, (Y/N).”

“And you are frustratingly vague,” she finally cracked a smile. “Why can’t you just answer me? What is it that you’re hiding?”

“You’d never believe me if I told you,” he copied her smile. “And isn’t a little mystery fun?”

“It could be if it didn’t get me in trouble with my boyfriend.”

“That could be fixed by breaking up with him, you know,” Paul teased. “A lot of things could be fixed if Jake was gone.”

“Are you threatening my boyfriend, Paul Lahote?”

“I would never,” he laughed. “But I still believe that he doesn’t deserve you, (Y/N).”

“Will you ever let that go?”

“Don’t think I can.”

And maybe she knew he was right but it was too hard to admit it, to him or to herself. She had wanted Jake for the better part of her life and one night could not change that. She wouldn’t let it. “Then you’re gonna have to if there’s ever gonna be some sort of friendship between us,” she said. “Might be hard to spend time with someone that’s always trashing their boyfriend.”

“I mean, you’ve only got a couple more weeks before you have to go back to Florida, right? I think I can control myself in that time.”

“Actually, I decided to move to Forks with my dad,” she smiled. “Bella isn’t getting better and I’ve honestly gotten attached to this town. It might be that some people have made this place so enchanting.”

“Then I guess I’m gonna have to work harder on pretending that I like Jake,” he grinned. “But I am glad you’re staying. The town wouldn’t be the same without you.”

“I’ve only been here for three weeks, Paul,” she laughed.

“And nothing has been the same since.”

“You’re something else.”

“I could say the same about you,” Paul added before noticing Jared calling him over. “And on that note, I will have to leave you. I’ve got a couple of things I have to do. But not before you give me your phone number.”

“My number?”

“That way I’d we ever wanna see each other it doesn’t have to be by me showing up at your house or running into each other at a bonfire.”

“Right,” she chuckled, handing him her phone. “That’s smart.”

 “I’ll see you around, (Y/N),” he smiled before kissing her on the cheek and disappearing down the beach.

As soon as he was out of sight, (Y/N) looked around, hoping that no one had witnessed what had just happened. As innocent as everything could have been, in such a small town, everything was known.

Once she had calmed down, she finally walked toward the commotion of the beach. Feeling as confused as she had been since meeting Paul, but at peace. Being around him made her feel serene, tranquility spreading through her veins. Though he made her heart race, he didn’t make her chest feel tight. It was a feeling that made her feel equal parts uneasy and calm.

“Where were you?” Jake asked as she joined him and his friends, a hint of annoyance dancing between his words.

“Just around,” she smiled. “I was actually planning to get something to drink. Do you guys want anything?”

“We’re good,” Embry smiled kindly. “But thank you.”

“Just hurry,” Jake added before becoming more interested in the conversations he was having before she had gotten close. “And bring me back a water, thanks.”

“Uh, yeah, sure.”

(Y/N) left him quickly, needing to compose herself before heading back toward him. She could feel how annoyed he was at her. Ever since that afternoon with Paul, Jake had become distant and rather cold toward her but she could understand why. As much as it pained her, she knew why and that she had to do something to make it up to him while keeping what angered him a secret.

“It’s good to see you around, (Y/N),” Billy said as he joined the girl’s side at the refreshment table. “I was wondering when I would see you again.”

“Hi, uncle Billy,” she smiled. “I’ve been meaning to go by the house but I’ve been busy these couple of days.”

“And things have been heated between you and my son.”

“How did you…?”

“Small town,” he smiled softly. “But I’ve already had some words with my son about his behavior toward you. It was completely unacceptable.”

“It might have been an overreaction but it was warranted,” she said looking down. “I knew what I did would anger him but I still did it.”

“That doesn’t mean he can chastise you in the middle of town. My son is young and can be quick-tempered,” Billy sighed, taking one of (Y/N)’s hands in his. “He says and does things that he doesn’t know he will regret one day, and you don’t deserve to be in the receiving end of that.”

“Thank you, Billy,” (Y/N) smiled, squeezing his hand reassuringly. “But I’m sure he’s sorry for that night and we’ll work through it together.”

“You know, I love my son, but he can be quite stubborn when he wants to. Even at his own detriment. Still, I hope this new year brings you both clarity and growth. Both personally, and if the gods want it, in your relationship as well.”

“I hope so too, uncle Billy.”

“My son is lucky to have you by his side. Even if he doesn’t know it.”

(Y/N) felt a new surge of confidence as he joined Jake and his friends once more. Knowing Billy was watching her back made her feel stronger about her relationship with Jacob and that it was worth investing her heart and time into. She knew her heart yearned for Jake and all she felt toward Paul was a strong sense of friendship.

As the hours passed and the tension between her and Jake seemed to dissipate, her resolve simply solidified itself. She would do anything possible to fix her relationship with her boyfriend and keep her friendship with Paul separate from Jacob.

But there was the smallest part in her that replayed Paul’s voice. He kept telling her how she deserved better and that Jake was not the right person for her, even if that was who she had wanted for so long.

Still, when the clock struck twelve, Jake was the one she kissed, and wished things would work out between them. She wished for him to only see Bella as a friend and finally give his whole heart to her. Wrapped in his arms as they cheered the new year, she begged the universe to give her the chance to have everything she had wished for.

Yet as her eyes found Paul’s in the crowd, she doubted if it was what she truly wanted or if she was holding onto a silly childhood dream.

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[hamiltonaf]

Payback | Kylian Mbappé

Pairing: Kylian Mbappé x Female Reader

Word Count: 2.4K

Warnings: Cursing

A/N: My apologies for not posting part 2 of ‘One More Dance’, I’ve been so busy and I’m currently working on it so hopefully it will be up soon. Inspo is from an old tiktok trend. Enjoy .xo

(Y/F/N) - Your Friend’s Name

The thud of heavy rain drops hitting against my window set the mood to do absolutely nothing today. Though it doesn't work like that today since I have an assignment due in a few days time. It would also be ideal to cuddle someone right about now but that's out of the question because of a certain someone.

After completing half of my assignment, which I was quite satisfied with, I decided to call it a day for work and take advantage of the gloomy weather.

Taking a look at Instagram was a bad idea since I came across rumours of Kylian dating another girl. So much for breaking up a month ago and wanting to 'focus on football'. His excuse still bothers me since it was a poor one after dating for almost 3 years. I don't see a change of performance on the pitch if I’m being honest. I guess everything happens for a reason, maybe we're just not meant to be.

I mean if he moved on then so should I, right ? It then hit me that I should spice things up and give something for people to talk about. We’ll excuse my petty behaviour and blame it on the weather for making me somewhat evil. Before causing some drama, I called (Y/F/N), "Ello !" she answered. "Hey girly ! How are you doing on this beautiful day ?" I asked. "Ugh I’m so bored, you have no idea” she whined. “But never mind me, how are you doing more specifically ?” She asked curiously. “I’m doing okay, but-“ “I can already tell something is up your sleeve” she cut me off.

“Damn you really know me well” I pouted. “Of course ! Otherwise I wouldn’t be your bestie. Anywho, spill the tea…I’m all ears” she said enthusiastically. “So word of mouth right now on insta is that he is dating someone else, there’s literally pictures of them at dinner together” I rolled my eyes. “Shut up ! What the actual fuck dude. That’s so messed up. He’s such an ass” she yelled. “Yeah yeah I mean it hurts but the only way for my petty ass to get over it is-“ “If you do the same thing” she finished my sentence.

“Exactly ! So remember that TikTok we wanted to try out ages ago where one of us is dressed up as the guy and take out a bunch of pictures to look like a couple” I reminded her. “Oh my god ! Our time has finally come ! Okay I’m on my way, I’ll literally be there in like 5 mins” she said lastly before ending the call.

As soon as (Y/F/N) came over, we went straight to my dresser and got working on her makeup. We started by accentuating her veiny yet bony hands and then contoured her cheekbones, as well as her jawline to look more masculine. I failed to mention how smart she is, she came through with a bouquet of my favourite flowers so I had something else to post about.

Once we were done with her makeup, she slipped into one of my high heels so she was much taller than me. With her oversized hoodie and cap on you’d literally think that she’s a guy - a hot one at that too. I changed into a black slip dress and took off my shoes to spice up the picture, and exaggerate her height.

When (Y/F/N) came up behind me in the mirror, we both burst out laughing over how accurate she looked to a guy. “Shit. Even I would date me” she said before getting serious and wrapped her arms around my waist. After a few pictures of my head tilted and her face nuzzled into my neck, we finally had the picture. Her side profile looked so sharp, it’s actually insane.

After all of this, I suddenly felt hesitant to post for some odd reason that even (Y/F/N) noticed. I think it was pretty obvious how long I was staring at the pictures. “Girl don’t hold back now, just do it. He should see that you also moved on” she wiggled her brows. “You got a point there” I said to myself. I then uploaded 2 stories, one of the bouquet and one of us together - both simply captioned with a white heart. “If I saw this for the first time, I’d literally scream. Everyone is gonna lose their minds, especially him” she smirked. “Feels good to throw this back at him” I smirked back. “Welcome to the dark side bestie” she patted my back. “Anywho I need to run, got a few errands. Love you and call me later to update me on the drama. I’ll desperately be waiting for your call” she said as she gathered her things. “Of course ! Will do. Thanks bestie” I quickly hugged her before she hurriedly left.

I proceeded to spending the rest of my afternoon binging on early 2000's chick flicks, it wasn't until the evening when I decided to check my phone again that I noticed how many notifications I received. My notifications were the highest its ever been, well shit. We love to see it I guess.

I received countless tags on reposts as well as comments from fans, and surprisingly messages from family - understandable how many messages I received since it’s so evident that it’s not Kylian in the pictures. Scrolling through my notifications I decided to ignore all until my eyes landed on Kylian’s contact name, 'Kyky'. Surprise surprise.

"Heyy" the text read, I rolled my eyes, I don't have time for a conversation starter. I left him on read and proceeded with watching my movies. It wasn't even 5 minutes and my phone started to ring. It was Kyky calling. My heart started racing, I was hesitant to answer the call because what are we going to talk about and why call now ?

"Hello" he greeted. "Hey" I answered plainly. "Are you busy ?" He asked curiously. "Well kind of.. I'm actually just getting ready to leave" I said with a devious smile creeping onto my face. "Oh. Erm okay never mind" he said disappointed. "Why ?" I raised a brow. "I'm actually outside your apartment" he said embarrassed "No way" I said lowly to myself. "Have a look" he said as I then walked towards my front door and was met with his face. I ended the call and looked at him in shock, "You- here- like..what are you doing here ?" I asked.

"Can I come in please ?" He asked pleadingly. "What for ?" I asked back. "To talk about us" he said. "Theirs no us anymore. Theirs nothing for us to talk about" I said as I was about to close the door. "Wait. Just give me a chance" he said softly. "Theirs literally no point. You moved on..I moved on-" "You have another boyfriend already ?" He asked in shock. "I'm offended that you think I'm not capable of moving on so soon" I shook my head and crossed my arms over my chest.

"So you must've known this guy whilst we were dating ?" He asked as he started to grow angry. "Yeah so ?" I scoffed. "You were just waiting for us to break up so you can date this guy" he said as he started to raise his voice. "You literally did the same thing. You made it seem like it was such a simple break up for your own good, but for the last 2 weeks you're rumoured to be with another girl !"I said as I started to grow annoyed. "Yes, but she's just a friend" he said.

"Funny how we’ve been together for so long and I never met this friend before" I said. Just then my next door neighbour yelled at us for raising our voices. "Please do yourself a favour and leave" I said as I shut the door. I then heard rattling of the door and in came Kylian. "You weren't invited inside" I said. "Well I had a spare key" he said as he held up the key. "That was supposed to be returned to me when we broke up" I said as I snatched the key from his hand and went to sit on my couch. “Also, how could you act surprised that I moved on when you’re literally here after I posted a picture with another guy ?” I questioned. He then sat beside me, "Can you just stop talking about that idiot ? I came here to talk about us…How do I make you love me again?"

"Love ? Dream on" I half laughed. "I'm being serious" he said as he looked between my eyes. "Forget about me loving you. How do I know that you love me ?" I asked. "Well I missed you all this time so I came back" he smiled. "It's not that simple. If you truly loved me as you say, you wouldn't have wanted to break up after all these years" I said. "Look I'm sorry okay ? I really am. I wish I could go back in time and reverse what I did...I just needed some time to myself to think about my future personal life and I kept imagining you in it..." he said as he gently moved a strand away from my face.

"Don't play with me right now" I warned. "No jokes. I love you. I really do, and I want to continue to spend the rest of my life with you" he said as he held my hands. "Okay cute. Anyways I have to go meet my boyfriend. It was nice of you to stop by..I'll think about it" I huffed as I got up. He grabbed a hold of my wrist and pulled me towards him to sit on his lap. "Stop lying" he smirked. "What makes you think I'm lying ?" I raised a brow. "I know your facial expressions when you lie. I just know you all too well because you literally could've left the second you opened your door instead of coming back inside" He said with a smile.

"Well I've changed my mind, I rather be with him right now" I shrugged. "I want my old (Y/N) back" he pouted. "She left the building the day you left her" I said lastly and got up to walk to my room. "Ouch" he pouted as he followed behind me. "I still love you no matter what. Always have and always will" I gave him a brief look before pretending to rummage through my closet. "So is this how it's going to be ?" He asked as he leaned back in my bed and watched me. "I told you that I need to think about it" I said as I continued to skim through my closet. "I'm not going until we stop fighting" he said casually "This isn't fighting. People don't get back together based off 5 minutes of talking to them after a whole month" I said as he stood up to stand in front of me.

"I like it when you're angry" he said as he got closer. "Don't" I said softly as I looked down. He lifted my head to meet his eyes as he cupped my cheeks, his thumb tracing over my lips. "You're making this harder" I pouted. Just when his lips were a mere centimetre away, he mumbled "It shouldn’t be hard if you have a boyfriend…Should I stop ?"

I hesitated to answer. To give up the game and kiss him or keep annoying him. “I can’t” I faked a pout. “Why not ?” His mood dropped. “I can’t do this to Nico” I said as I looked down. “Fuck Nico !” He yelled. “How the hell do you even know this guy ?” He asked frustrated. “We met at a party” I answered casually. “Besides him, it’s wrong of you to cheat on your girlfriend” I said looking everywhere else but him. He walked closer which made me take a step back, my back hitting against the wall. He placed his hands on either side of me, cornering me. “I just told you that she’s a friend and nothing more” he tried to say calmly. “I’m not convinced” I shrugged.

“Forget about her, she’s irrelevant right now. I came to claim back what was once mine. If I have to fight this stupid so called boyfriend of yours, then I will” he said as he inched his face closer to mine. There was a moment of silence. Both of us holding eye contact and switching between looking at each others eyes and lips. He leaned in and I didn’t stop him. It was a sweet soft peck. His forehead against mine, he sighed and said "I'll give you your space.” I surprised myself by grabbing a hold of his hand and pulling him back into place. “What’s wrong ?” He asked. “You’ll fight for me ?” I teased. “I know that I’m not fighting anyone because you’re lying, but if I have to then I will” he said as his hands were on my waist.

“How can you tell I’m lying ?” I instinctively wrapped my arms around his neck. “Besides reading your facial expressions, we wouldn’t be in this position right now” he said. “Or doing this” he said softly before placing his lips on mine. I pulled him closer against me and just then he broke away from the kiss. “I think I should go” he teased. "No no wait just a little more" I hushed him as I pulled him closer to connect our lips once again.

[otakubimbo]

The Rabbit and The Wolf

It's A Date?

Now that you and Kakashi are friends again, all can now go back to normal. Can it go back to normal? Who knows but this get weird when Iruka asks you to hang out with him. Just the two you you.

otaku note: yeah sorry, editing this has been a headache cause the writers block in me has HANDS but hopefully we can get more consistency, requests are open if you have any. Mwah. ALSO I realized I already uploaded chapter 4 without editing and then I edited it and now here it is, my bad

MDNI. MATURE CONTENT.

Ch 1 2 3 4

master list

For once, you did what you were told, drank some water, and went to bed. Surprisingly, you didn’t wake up with the worst hangover, but still one. With little reluctance, you got up to visit your sister. Her husband was there, and you’ve grown to tolerate him, still a dumb ass but he loved your sister.

“How you feeling today?” You ask while pulling up a chair.

“A little tired but I’m doing okay.” Your sister says attempting to sit up. You sigh, helping her get adjusted, oh how frail she was.

“That’s good. I went for drinks last night and Kakashi was there.” speaking as casually as possible. For some reason, it meant a lot to your sister for the two of you to talk again.

“And?” She perks up, a small glow coming to her face.

“We talked and decided to be friends again.”

 It was as simple as that, giving her a small shrug of your shoulders. Even if it wasn’t a big deal to you, you knew it would be to your sister. Her favorite thing to joke about was the two of you getting married one day, from friends to lovers, ‘how romantic’ according to her.

“Just friends?” She pries, leaning forward.

“Yes, just friends.” You gently push her back down, she shouldn’t be straining herself over something like this.

She sighs, “When will you see that y'all were made for each other? I know y'all slept together.”

You start choking on your own spit, coughing away from her with a bewildered look on your face as your breathing evens and you see the smug smile that graces her lips.

“What are you talking about?” you finally manage to get out.

“You really are your father's daughter you know? I’m not stupid, I remember the way he looked at you when you left my wedding. And then after the fact, you two never spoke again it seemed and you just left. When times get hard, you leave, just like dad.”

“Yeah, I think the sickness has gone to your brain, and with that,” You say standing up, “ I have to go. I’ll be back before visiting hours end.”

Aki pouts like a child but you ignore that, she's the one who started it after all. As you leave see her husband on the way out, letting him know of your departure. Before you were even out of earshot, you could hear your sister gossiping about the conversation y’all just had. With a roll of your eyes, you leave with errands you need to run, especially since there wasn’t much in your house with your continued absence.

Amid your shopping, you hear your name being called by an oh-too-familiar voice.

“Y/N” Kakashi's voice calls out to you and when you face him you smile for once, grinning almost from ear to ear. You hadn’t looked at him like that in ages, if he didn’t have the mask on he might be embarrassed by the expression under it. He almost forgot how radiant your smile was, how blinding it was when it was finally directed at him.

“Hey Kashi.”   With your basket in hand, as you stride over to him, it is mostly filled with snacks and other things. There was nothing in there to make a real meal in sight.  

He peeks into your basket, surveying the assortment of savory and sweet treats that you gathered for yourself. Almost on instinct looking at your basket and his taking some of your favorite treats out of his basket holding it up to you.

“This is your favorite right, here” he places it in your basket without even asking if you really wanted it.

You giggle excitedly, biting your lip thinking about the snack for later “Oh I love these. Yeah, how’d you know these were my favorite?”

“I just know you,” he says shrugging. His eye never left yours, his gaze was intense as if he had something to say that you were supposed to understand just with the look.

“Well, I should go.” You stammer, getting all your items together. All you could muster was a “See you later” as you scurried off.

You were sweating, it wasn’t even hot, but you were sweating. Why the fuck were you nervous?! It’s literally just Kakashi like yeah y’all had sex but that doesn’t change him as a person. Right? Things were bound to be awkward of course, because y’all haven’t really spoken in two years after sleeping with each other. But that shouldn’t make you nervous, you had no clue why you were nervous. Friendship with him was going to be weird, to say the least.

The only walk home, you couldn’t stop thinking about the way he was looking at you and what it could have meant. There was no way to get it out of your mind, so you needed a distraction. Since your sister had many complaints about not keeping up with yourself, you could only think of doing your hair in that moment, it was a process as it was it would surely get your thoughts off of Kakashi.

First step; hair washing. It was so much easier for you to wash your hair in the shower since you had to wash it in sections to prevent knotting. As you work through the sections, all you can think about is Kakashi’s wet and naked body behind you helping you. Imagine him taking a section, gently scrubbing your scalp while detangling the section and spreading the shampoo. The thought sent shivers straight to your core, a small moan escaping your lips. You hadn’t even realized you closed your eyes when you snapped them open with the realization of your fantasy. This wasn’t good, this was very bad actually. It’s not going to go like that, y’all were JUST back to being friends.

Quickly, you finish washing your hair before your brain decides to take a worse course. After putting the dead conditioner in, you go cleaning around the house. There wasn’t a way you could fantasize about him while cleaning, that would be weird. There’s nothing sexy about cleaning. Unfortunately, you were wrong, very wrong.  Your brain was a lot more creative than you thought it was. As you were cleaning the mirror in your bedroom, your mind wandered. The thought of Kakashi sitting on the bed, legs spread, rubbing himself to the view of your ass as you bend over and reach to wipe the mirror. He would get up and press himself behind you, wrapping his arms around you. Close. Too Close. In your mind, you could feel his hardness up against your ass, the way his breath would tickle your neck, the wetness starting to form as you watch how he would hold you in the mirror. Your knees get weak with the thought, and you slam them right into the dresser.

“Fuck that hurt. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.” You curse, sitting on your bed holding your knee. What the hell is going on?! Maybe you were just horny and needed to get it out. He was the last person you had sex with intimately. Like yeah, you’ve fucked some people in the last two years, but it hadn’t been that great. Bingo! That was the problem, obviously, you were just horny and unsatisfied. Now, that makes more sense than just being horny specifically Kakashi. The issue now was how to solve this problem and it wasn’t going to be an issue you could solve now because you literally need to finish your hair. For now, you needed a real distraction.

Kurenai! Friendship!

That’s what you would do, send a message over and make her come over with some sake. You needed a word with her for telling your business. In her best interest, she agreed. While you wait for her, you go ahead and rinse out the deep conditioner and start blow-drying your hair out to get into twisting it. By the time you were getting ready to start on your twists, Kurenai was at the door. She had a key, for emergencies, so she came right in and she brought the good stuff with her. Oh, she really didn’t want you to yell at her.

“Sooooooo” Kurenai starts after you gave her a good one for not telling you she told Asuma. You didn’t really care if she told him, you just needed to know beforehand, you were so thrown off.

“What?” You question, hands still working away as you tip back a shot of sake with your teeth.

“So Kakashi walked you home last night.” She states even though it came out more as a question.

“He did.” You say plainly, you knew what she was getting at.

“And?!” she practically yells, getting impatient.

“And nothing, we agreed to go back to being friends. Like old times” You state, fighting the flashbacks of your own imagination.

“Just friends?” She questions, not believing you one bit.

“Yes, girl! Just friends. Like old times, I said.” You say focusing more back on your hair. You knew that she was ready to pry more information out of you because that couldn’t just be it. Not between the two of you, no, surely not.

“And you’re just fine with being friends? I saw the way he was looking at you and don’t act like you weren’t looking all over him.” She states smugly, settling into your couch.

“You know what? You’re right, I never even got an answer to what happened two years ago so why do I even want to be his friend.” You attempt to change the subject back to what should be the real issue.

“You’ve never even asked him!” She yells at you, almost spilling her drink. You roll your eyes, taking another sip.

“I shouldn’t have to ask! What am I supposed to say? ‘Yeah, remember when we fucked? Why did you leave and avoid me?’. That literally sounds mental.” You’re annoyed, getting your hair tangled in the process.

“OR literally just ask him what happened? What are you so afraid of?”

Now that was the question. What were you afraid of? That the friendship would be ruined? It already had been when you left. That he could say it was the worst sex of his life? Now you know that would have been a lie, especially since he didn’t even pull out. The questions were going through your head and silence fell. You didn’t really know. You didn’t know what you were afraid of. Sleeping together already changed the dynamic. So why couldn’t you just ask him what happened? You’ve literally looked death in the eye on more than one occasion.

What were you afraid of?

You finally acknowledge Kurenai and lock eyes with her.

“I don’t know what I’m afraid of.” You say softly, out of character for your own voice.

“Then ask him.” She says sincerely putting her hand on yours.

“Absolutely not” You state, proceeding to chug the sake straight out of the bottle. Kurenai just shakes her head sighing. For one of the strongest ninjas in this village, you sure were a wuss when it came to anything emotional. Luckily for you, she dropped it after that. Yall had regular girl talk until you finally finished your hair, way too late at night and you were sure the top middle part looked a little worse for wear, but it wasn’t like anyone would see it or notice anyway.

NEXT DAY

There was nothing like having a new hairstyle to put a pep in your step. You had your twists up in a high ponytail because you may have made them a bit too tight dealing with Kurenai and her interrogation. Even still, you glided on your way to visit your sister before your regularly scheduled training with Team 7. This would be the first-time training with Kakashi and the team on solid terms. That would be nice, it should be good.

As you pass the school, you hear someone call your name for your attention. It was Iruka. He jogs over to you as you wave at him.

“Hey, your hair is different.” He says sort of breathy rubbing the back of his neck. You swing your ponytail back and forth to show it off a bit.

“Oh yeah, I did its last night.” You say showing off, with a smile on your face. You were just in such a good mood today.

“I like it. It’s pretty.” He says weirdly, he must be tired you thought as he looked nervously at you.

“Thanks Iruka.” Again you say with a smile. Iruka was always so kind, such a dear friend to you.

“So, we really haven’t had time to just catch up. Just the two of us. I was thinking maybe we could do something together tomorrow night, maybe.” He looked really uncomfortable which confused you.

“Of course, Iruka, I love spending time with you.” You state earnestly. This was the truth, you enjoyed his company, especially all the times you used to help him around the school. He was such a gentle nurturing soul. He did seem surprised at your response.

“OH really? Awesome. Great! Uhm how about we meet at that new sushi place? Around 8?” He suggests enthusiastically, which you giggle at. You can’t help being reminded of Naruto by his demeanor, you see how close they have become that they act so much like each other.

“Yeah, that sounds great, but I have to get to the hospital. I’ll see you later, okay?” You smile and wave goodbye.

This was going to be a nice time. You’ve been waiting to try that new restaurant and Irukas company was always enjoyable. Maintaining that glide in your step, you make your way to see your sister. Once at the hospital, you tell your sister about the encounter with Iruka because that meant you wouldn’t be able to stay as long.

“You know that’s a date right?” Aki asks laughing at your now confused expression.

“It absolutely is not. Me and Iruka are just friends. There’s no way he sees me like that.” You state dismissively, almost disgusted. It’s just two friends catching up.

“So then, why did he ask for it to be just the two of you?” She questions, a smirk on her face.

“Because he said we haven’t really caught up with each other personally.” Your rebuttal matter of factly.

“Okay, but then why was he in your own words ‘acting weird and sweaty’ hmm?” She probes.

“I think you’re reading too much into what I said. He’s probably having a tough morning.” You reply crossing your arms. The last thing you wanted was for Iruka to like you, now that would be too weird.

“If you say so but,” Aki starts putting her finger in the air to make a point, “if it is a date, would you be happy?”

You grimaced at that almost immediately, not disgusted because he was a sweet guy and wasn’t ugly or anything, just definitely not your type. Aki burst into a fit of laughter, almost in tears.

“Whew, you’re so mean and so funny.” Your sister says still giggling holding her sides. You roll your eyes at her.

“I didn’t even mean it like that, he’s just not my type ya know.” You say shrugging.

“Well, why don’t you ask your new friend Kakashi if he thinks it’s a date or not? He’s a guy after all I’m sure he would be able to tell.” Aki suggested, still trying to hold back laughter. This gets another eye roll from you.

“Fine, I’ll ask him.” You say with a sigh, standing up with a little stretch. Aki developed a sly smile on her face.

“Good” She comments, and you raise an eyebrow at her in question. “Oh nothing, now get going before you’re late.”

You give her a quick hug and make your way to the training grounds. There was something definitely on your sister's mind but for once you couldn’t really read her. Maybe it was just a sly joke about you and Kakashi being friends again like y’all used to. You used to always use him to solve arguments between you and your sister. He was level-headed and unbiased in that way, definitely unbiased because even though he was YOUR friend, he would always end up agreeing with your sister.

When you finally make it to the training grounds, Kakashi is actually there on time for once. Surprising, especially since your definition of being on time is being early. This meant he was early, super early for him.

“Hey Kashi, you’re early.” You greet him with your past pleasantries. He just looks up from his book for a moment giving you a quick nod and returning to his smut.

“I’m actually glad you’re here early. I need to ask you something” you say gliding over to him. That got his full attention, and he finally looks at you directly. His eye gives you a once over and he notices the pep in your step and how you’re smiling directly at your ponytail swinging behind you.

“Your hair looks nice.” He states and your smile widens as you flick your hair.

“Thanks, it took all night but yeah I have a question.” You say hands behind your back playing with your hair. He raises an eyebrow at you and gives a simple hmmmn in question.

“Okay so I ran into Iruka today and he asked me to catch up with him over dinner tomorrow and my sister has this crazy idea that he wants to take me out on a date.” You state making gestures with your hand to show how crazy you think your sister is being. Kakashi’s eye flickers for a second and his expression is something you can’t exactly read. Everyone was being so damn weird today.

“What exactly did he say?” He questions sounding rather casual about it.

“He said that we haven’t caught up yet, just the two of us, and then he said we should get dinner tomorrow and suggested the new sushi restaurant. You know how much I love sushi.” You respond plainly as if it’s still no big deal. Kakashi was leaning on a tree when you arrived but now he lifted himself off it standing straight in front of you.

“I think your sister is right,” He says looking down at you and you scowl.

“And I think both of y’all are crazy. Me and Iruka are friends. Just friends. There’s no way he could even see me like that.” You exclaim, pouting. How could anyone see that this was just a friendly dinner?

“See you like what?” Kakashi questions and that makes you pause for a moment.

“Like in a romantic sense, obviously!” You exclaim again rolling your eyes and crossing your arms in front of you with annoyance.

“And why wouldn’t he?” He questions softly, grabbing your chin and making you look at him. Your annoyance almost immediately melts away as he looks into your eyes.

“Because we are just friends.” You state just as softly as he did.

“Just like we are friends?”

Another question. A question you didn’t even really know how to answer because your brain wasn’t working right then. His hand didn’t leave your chin as you stared at him trying to formulate some type of sentence. He gazed at you in a way that he’s never looked at you before.

“I mean…..” you start before trailing off. Before you could even think of what else to say when someone loudly calls out Kakashi's name.

“KAKASHI SENSI YOU’RE ACTUALLY HERE ON TIME! BELIEVE IT” Naruto’s too-loud voice comes bellowing towards you two. Kakashi’s hand drops from your chin taking a step back and now you’re just standing there a bit dumb waiting for your brain to restart again.

What the fuck was going on today.

The training session went smoothly as usual and neither of you brought up the topic of Iruka. You actually planned on not bringing it up at all until after to prove to those two that it was definitely not a date and just a friend thing. This same mood carried on over to the next day and you were not going to bring it up as training ends with Team 7.

“So are you still going on that date with Iruka?” Kakashi asks nonchalantly.

“YOURE GOING ON A DATE WITH IRUKA SENSEI?!? WOW HOW LUCKY!” Naruto interjects and Sasuke looks disgusted at you.

“It isn’t a date. We are just two friends catching up. Not a date.”

“Is it just the two of you? Tonight?” Sakura asks. Of course, the only thing she’s ever really interested in is dating.

“Yupp. Just two good ol pals hanging out. At dark. Not a big deal.” You groan rubbing your temples

“That sounds like a date to me” Sakura giggles and that makes you groan even loader which gets a smirk from Kakashi.

“But the thing is, its not a date”

“Are you gonna kiss him?!” Naruto asks because of course he does.

You and Sasuke both make the same uncomfortable face which gets a slight rise out of Kakashi.

“Absolutely not because it's not a date and we are literally only JUST friends.”

“Good” Sasuke says stuffing his hands in his pockets and looking a bit annoyed.

“Anyways, I’m going to go now.” You say exhaustedly turning away and starting to walk off

Sakura calls after you in a teasing tone, “Hope you have a good date”

“I will literally kill all of you” You say over your shoulder and all you can hear is giggles.

Sigh, kids.

Of course, you do not rush home because this is not a date. But now you have to figure out what to wear. You knew it had to be something casual because again, not a date but you didn’t want to look frumpy. Simple. Cute. Not date attire. Next is hair, a cute little half up, half down. No makeup, just brows, mascara, and lip gloss. The amount of effort in trying to make sure you didn’t look like you were going on a date was making you sweat. You really hoped it wasn’t a date, but everyone was starting to make you believe it may be. That made you nervous, you really liked Iruka but strictly as a friend. Just like you told your sister, he wasn’t your type, and the last thing you needed was to ruin another friendship.

8 pm came a lot sooner than you wanted it to and now you were walking up to the new sushi place. Iruka was already there which means he got there early. He had flowers. Fuck. He was dressed really nicely, a lot nicer than your casual attire. Fuck fuck.

“Hey Iruka,” You say walking up, “Are those for me?” You question sheepishly.

He thrusts the flowers at you, which makes you giggle a bit. It was cute. “Yes, yes these are for you.”

“Thanks Iruka, that’s so sweet of you. Should we get a seat now?”

His face is red and a little sweaty. Yeah he definitely is hoping this is a date. He places his arm to direct you inside. Once inside and seated, you immediately order a shot. You needed a little something to take the edge off and ordered a beer.

“Thanks for making time for me” Iruka says nervously.

You smile, he was cute but in a brother type of way, “Of course. I love catching up with my friends and we haven’t spent time together in a while.”

You emphasize ‘friend’, hoping he would get the hint but it didn’t seem like he did.

Great.

Even though he obviously thought it was a date, you were still nice and were actually having a good time. A really good time. He made you laugh through the whole night with his stories of his antics with Naruto. He really loved the kid and the way he spoke about him was just so sweet. The evening carried on in good spirits, you talked about your long missions and what was going on with your sister. He was so sympathetic about it, it was all so nice.

At the end of the night, he offered to walk you home and you said you didn’t need it but thanked him for hanging out with you that night. Before you could even get anything out, he kissed you.

He fucking kissed you.

You never thought he would be that brave to do that, he was so red and nervous the whole time y’all were out. So all you could do was stand there shocked. Luckily, he quickly pulled away looking at your stunned face.

“I’m so sorry.” Iruka starts apologizing. He looked mortified.

“It’s fine Iruka.” You reply still kind of stunned.

“It’s fine?” He questions back, hopeful look in his eyes. And now you were going to have to crush that hope.

“I mean I’m not mad at you about it but I don’t think I’m really ready to date. Ya know with just getting back in the village and having to deal with all the stuff with my sisters' health. It’s just not a good time for me. I hope you understand.”

It wasn’t entirely a lie and it looked like he took it well and actually believed you.

“Oh no! I completely understand. You have so much to deal with, it literally took us this long to hang out so yeah I get it.”

“Thank you for being so understanding.” You say putting your hand on his shoulder and giving him a SMALL kiss on the cheek. The last thing you wanted to do was crush him but the two of you together would never happen.

“Yeah, of course. I’ll see you later. Have a great night.” He blushes, quickly going in the opposite direction of you as you turn to make your way home. You decided to take the long way since you wanted to get rid of the awkward tension from Iruka kissing you. And to your surprise and annoyance, you ran into Kakashi out in the middle of the night.

“What are you doing out here so late at night?”  You asked as soon as your line of sight met.

He ignored your question, ‘So how was your day’ He asks with a somewhat smug smile underneath his mask as if he already knew what happened.

“I literally hate you” you pout as you begin walking besides him.

“I’m guessing the date went well.” He replies trying to hold back the laughter.

“He brought me flowers. You know I hate flowers, I can’t ever keep them alive” You hold them up towards him, showing him the lovely bouquet.

“Yeah, you do have a black thumb.” He agrees.

“And everything was going so well until it was time to leave. It was just a normal hangout eating really good sushi. We should go there, by the way. And then he had to go and ruin it when before we left each other.”

“He didn’t kiss you or something?” Kakashi says with a chuckle.

Silence.

More silence.

“He kissed you.”

You groan, “He kissed me. It was so awkward.”

“You didn’t like it?”

“No, I didn’t like it” You yell, “I feel as if I’ve made it very clear I don’t want to date Iruka. I had to make up a whole excuse that I wasn’t ready to date, and it just wasn’t the right time and blah blah blah.”

“So it was a ‘it’s not you its me’ situation. Cruel” Kakashi says laughing

“I was trying to be nice about it” You whine on the other side “He’s a good guy, he’s just not my type. And I wouldn’t even mind the possibility of dating someone. Just definitely not him. Absolutely not him.”

“So you’re open to dating?”

“I mean yeah I guess”

“Hmmn okay.” He says plainly.

“Okay?” Which you posed more as a question than a statement.

“Well you should probably get some rest from your disaster date.” He chuckles as the two of you near your house.

“Hardy har har. You’re SOOOOO funny. I really do hate you. Good night.”

“Hate you too. Goodnight.” He says softly, a smile in his voice as you walk towards your house leaving him behind.

Now it was just you and your thoughts. Not good.

TAGLIST:

[call-me-apple]

Here's a compilation of notable c!Dream & c!Eret interactions from Eret's recently uploaded VOD of the Final Control Room + a bit of Eret's monologuing once the war fully ends and they're on their own. Note that the clips were chosen based on what I personally found interesting, so some parts of the conversations that I thought were repetitive or lacked substance got cut. You can find them in the full VOD.

Transcription below the cut:

Eret: "Down with the revolution boys! It was never meant to be." [Members of L'Manburg ask how Eret could betray them. Eret leaves their VC to join Dream Team's] Eret: "Hello there." Dream: “YEEES LET’S GOO!!” Punz: “Oh my God.” Dream: “Eret is now our- our- our king.” Dream & Eret: *laugh gleefully* Dream: “Wha- how did they react? I didn’t have their stream pulled up.” Eret: “They were so devastated.” Dream: *laughs gleefully* “LET’S GOOOO! That was EPIC. They did not see it coming in any way whatsoever.” Eret: “No-” Dream: “There are no traitors in war, it does not-”  *laughs* Eret: “You guys- you guys offered me land, you guys offered me resources. We were- we were against a force we could not fight, I truly just saw the brighter way.” Dream: *cackles* “So you have as much land as you want to expand upon your- expand upon your castle.” Sapnap: “Do we go to their land now?” Dream: “No. Don’t- don’t go in their land. Um. Just take the good stuff, let’s go hide it. They can’t see-” Eret: “No mercy.” Dream: “How do you feel? How do you feel?” Eret: “Oh, I’m shaking a little bit, not gonna lie!” Dream and Eret: *both laugh* Dream: “Do you feel bad?” Eret: “Not a bit.” Dream and Eret: *both laugh*

[big cut during which L'Manburg got blown up, Dream dueled Tommy and exchanged Tommy's discs for independence]

Dream: “We have gathered here today. We have won in every way possible. I don’t think there is a single thing that we have lost. They may be delusional and think that they now have this land, but I told them that, er it- we’re still considering them a part of the Dream Team SMP. So, basically they’ve won nothing, and we won everything, and now everybody gets to keep everything they have. I don’t think anybody used the God apples we got, so you guys get an extra God apple *laughs* than you had. And, basically, we won in every way! We got their town in ruins. They may rebuild, but we will remember this day, this is- this is the day of reckoning.” Eret: “The day of victory.” Dream: “The day of victory. And Eret is the- is the king. And that is all that matters. And the funny thing is: they would have done the same thing, they just- they just weren’t smart enough to.” Eret: *chuckles*

Dream: “How do you guys feel?” Sapnap: “Feel good.” Eret: “Feel good.” George: “Feel splendid.” Eret: “Magnificent even.” Dream & Eret: *chuckle* [Dream points out that Punz is muted] Punz: “I feel amazing. Eret can build in peace now.” Dream: “Exactly. Now Eret can keep expanding his castle instead of— instead of a small piece of land.” Eret: “Yeah, it’s like… they say ‘what have you done for us?’ I got them all their armor, I built this castle, I did— *laughing* I did most of the stuff.” Dream: “You like did basically everything!” Eret: “Yeah!” Dream & Eret: *both laugh* Dream: “You did basically everything, that’s why you knew you would lose cuz once you did everything you were like… ‘well, okay, I mean—’” Eret: “I’ve done everything.” Dream: “Everything I’ve done is not enough to win, and I’ve done basically everything.” Eret: “Yeah, so I did everything, I was like ‘welp’” *laughs* “We’re gonna lose, I’m gonna— I’m gonna dip.” *laughs* Dream: *laughs* “That is great. That is great. Me and Eret, we’ve been friends, we’ve been allies, so we would never- even when he originally switched sides, I had a feeling that he would come back around because-” Eret: “Yeah.” Dream: “-we’ve been allies from the beginning.” Eret: “Yeah.” Dream: “And plus I’ve said he can build wherever he wants and he’s like ‘ah that’s a good point, actually, I like building’.”

Dream: “Tommy, Tommy- I have Tommy’s discs now, so… That’s good, I lost them in the Disc War, so. We’ve actually won two wars today, cuz we won the war, and then the other war which I technically lost, I have… the only thing I lost in that war.”

[big cut during which Dream talks to Wilbur]

[Dream talks about how the Final Control Room was great for people’s content] Dream: “I’m sure they’ll have a play-grudge with you for a while.” *laughs* Eret: “Yeah, probably. There are people in my chat who are legitimately upset with me.” Dream and Eret: *both laugh* Dream: “Oh, I’m sure they are. Well, it’s war.” Eret: “It is war.” Dream: “There’ll always be people that are upset in war.” Eret: “All is fair in love and more.” Dream: “No mercy. Exactly. All is fair in love and war. There’s a lotta love and a lotta war involved. Exactly. And- and, it’s just that… friendship prevailed and that’s all that matters.” Eret: “Yeah, exactly.” [...] Dream: “That was- that was crazy. That’s- that’s how- you gotta be a good showman. When I came to you with that idea, I was like it’s gonna be such a good- it’s just showmanship. You have to have- you have to have good showmanship to be-” Eret: “Otherwise- otherwise what? We end up in a cold war for ages? Fight until the world ends?” Dream: “No, exactly” Eret: ”No, we have a definitive ending now, so… At least you’d hope so.” Dream: “I’m sure they’ll come back-” Eret: “Yeah.” Dream: “-and then they’ll get, like, super stacked and then they’ll be like ‘alright, let’s fight them now’.” Eret and Dream: *both laugh*

[part of Dream and Eret's conversation is cut because it was mostly them being hyped about FCR all over again el o el]

Eret: *exhales* "Take my place as king of the Dream SMP. KING Eret, boys. KING Eret! I am KING of Dream SMP! No one can stop me!" *runs into closed gate* "Maybe this fence can..." *opens gate* "Okay, no one can stop me!" *laughs gleefully* "Look at my castle. Everyone knew, everyone should've known that I was king of this land from the start. EVERYONE should've known. No one saw it coming. NO ONE saw it coming." [cut to Eret sitting on the throne] Eret: "We rule over this land. We win! This is VICTORY, boys. Victory! This is what victory looks like." Eret, reading chat: "'A king without friends is nothing'. I have friends. My friends are Dream, Sapnap, George, Punz. I'm friends with all of them. They promised me victory, they promised me friendship. They didn't promise me friendship, we were friends before. King Eret!

[warmaidensrevenge]

Fix you....

Pairings: Friend!Eddie x Friend!Fem plus size reader

If you want to read my other work you can find it HERE

A/N: Hey everyone. So I had this two part fic in mind. I used a song in this fic. I'll tag it down below. Sorry it takes me forever to upload. I have been working so much that all I want to do is sleep. But I do have a lot in the works. And will try to get them out regularly. Any who, without further ado. Here's the shit that's going on in my head right now. As always feedback is greatly appreciated and asks/comments are always welcomed. Kay love ya byyyyyeeee. 🙃

I do not give permission for my work to be published anywhere else. Please respect all creators.

Word count: 6,920

Warnings: 18+ Language, mentions of cheating, sexual implications/situations, oral, hurt/comfort/hurt, mentions of molestation, friends to lovers and not proof read.

Summary: Love wasn't meant for you. But Eddie will be damned if you live the rest of your life thinking that.

💔

Eddie and you have been semi acquainted since he moved in with his uncle. Even after you graduated before him, you remained I guess you can say friends. Not besties or anything like that. For the most part you guys would see each other and say hi. Only hanging out with one another when it was a group activity. Nothing really that great to talk about or remember. Him and you were in separate clicks in high school. But once you graduate you separated from your friends. That was until you and Eddie started working at Benny's together. He was a fry cook and you were a waitress. 

Working shifts together were fun. He always tried to get you to laugh. And you did the same. But what the friendship lacked was the personal confessions and emotional bond. Sure Eddie was nice and he admitted to a few things as the friendship progressed. But you on the other hand didn't open up. You were the type that kept your issues to yourself. Not one person in your life knew what went on in your head. Or the struggles you faced on a daily basis. Which was how you liked it. See relationships for you were hard. In all of your 23 years of life you had a multitude of "boyfriends". None really lasting over a year. The most recent one was with a guy named Andy. That one almost lasted a year. But things got complicated.

You guys had moved in together only after 2 months of dating. Everything was great. You were so in love with him that for the first time in your life you let someone in. Let someone get close.

But the happy little life you were building came crashing down when you walked in on Andy sleeping with the neighbor. When you came home on your lunch break one evening to get a new uniform shirt. You saw them. What you walked in on shook you to your very core. For some reason or another you walked away from the situation not saying a word. Andy didn't see you and neither did your neighbor. You walked in silence to your car and drove back to work. You sat there and finally let yourself cry.

Eddie was on a smoke break when he saw you. He put out his cigarette and started towards your car. When you spotted him you quickly wiped your tears away and got out.

" Hey is everything alright?" He asked.

" Y-yeah. Everything is fine."  You said not looking at him. 

" I uhh thought you were going to change your shirt?"

You walked to the front door and stopped before going in.

" I uhh all my extras were dirty." 

Eddie could tell something was wrong. He could always tell when you were upset. And though you always said you were fine, he worried about you. For as long as he could remember you were always a good person. Sure you two weren't close or anything, but he cared a lot about you. Ever since that day you beat the shit out of a girl for pouring milk on his head once. He was going through a hard break up and he was really depressed. You weren't even at the Hellfire table when it happened. All Eddie saw through his milk dripping bangs was a large blur and one of Hawkins "finest" shouting obscenities at you. He wiped his eyes as best as he could and saw you on top of the girl, holding her head in place by her hair and punching her in the face with your free hand. 

Eddie never got the full story into why you did that. All he knew was that you stuck up for him and that's all that mattered. 

So about 2 years after that incident you graduate and went about your life. Barely going out to hang with him and the mutual friends. Every time you did come though, he spent most of the time right next to you. You were hilarious and very charming. The way you made faces and different voices while telling a story had him dying. You were always so sweet to everyone and had the best laugh. Many who knew him would say he was actually crushing on you. But for the most part he just thought you were cool as hell. 

It wasn't until you helped him get a job at the dinner did he realize that was very true. However, you were in a relationship. Which forced him to not pursue you. Though he very much wanted to. 

So that night when he saw you crying he knew he had to do something to make you feel better. Because no matter who you were with or how you forced a fake smile, all he wanted to do was hear you laugh and see a genuine smile.

When you guys went back into the restaurant he went straight to the back and started making a milkshake. He remembered exactly how you liked it. You always get one on especially hard days. So while he made it he quickly went through the back room and went to find an extra shirt for you. Not sure about the size you wore he grabbed a couple. 

You just came out of the restroom after fixing your makeup when Eddie pulled you into the back room. 

" Hey so I found a couple of shirts. Change yeah? Then just take a break and drink your shake." 

He handed you the shirts and the drink. 

" Eddie, you didn't have to do that."

" Yes I did. That's what friends do. " He smiled at you.

His smile got even bigger when you smiled a little.

With your voice just above a whisper, you thanked him and he went back to work.

After that night you had your locks changed and removed Andy off your lease. He begged countless times and apologized so much that all it did was annoy you. Then that apology turned into the blame game. He berated you and said how emotionally closed off you were. Which to be fair was true. Either way the relationship was dead and buried.  

The break up was hard on you. You had told yourself that ' this is exactly why you keep shit bottled up'. 

You swore from that day on that you were done letting people hurt you. Done telling them things that all they did was use them against you. So as time went on Eddie was a good person to lean on. There was no worry of developing feelings or anything like that. He was a very good friend who was always a pleasure to be around. Well…that was until Eddie invited you to the Hideout to see the band. Since high school he's been asking you to come. Your excuse for not going was it was a school night. And when you guys graduate it was because you had to work or that you and Andy were going on a date. However, the following Tuesday and Wednesday you were off. And the break up was 6 months ago. So you had no excuse. Though you hated crowds and bars, you thought just this once you would bite the bullet and support your friend.

…

Eddie was beyond excited. Finally he got you to come. He was nervous. He always got nervous when it came to performing. But this time it was making him sweat. As soon as he and the others walked out onto the stage he saw you sitting at the bar with a drink in hand. This was the first time he had ever seen you with your hair down. It was much longer than he thought. You had always had it in a bun or in a braid. So the length surprised him. But not as much as the rest of you. He was so used to you wearing your uniform with tights and long sleeves that the most of your extremities he saw were your wrist and ankles. But tonight you were wearing faded blue jeans with a hole in the knee and a black halter top. That's when he saw your tats. You had a quarter sleeve on one arm and a couple small tats on the other. Then he saw the edge of a worded tattoo on your side, peeking out the side of your shirt. And when you turned around for a second he saw a flower tat on your shoulder. All that accompanied by your clothes and your hair had him stunned. How the hell did he miss all that? You were beautiful and sexy. Then he realized that he didn't really know you. He knew where you worked and that you had a boyfriend. Now that he realized, he hadn't seen him in a while. He knew you had parents because well everyone had parents. But you never talked about them. Come to think of it, he had known you for about 9 years and he didn't even know when your birthday was. 

That was all going to change tonight. 

You watched Eddie and the guys from high school put on a pretty good performance. You were actually surprised that they all still played. And sounded better. The only time you saw them before was during the middle school talent show. At the time you really didn't understand anything Eddie was singing. And the music was so loud you had to plug your ears. But now they learned to use their speakers better and Eddie's voice dropped and he sounded great. 

You ordered another soda water and enjoyed the show. A few guys came to talk to you but you quickly dismissed them. Tonight wasn't that type of night. You just wanted to hang out and support your friend. 

A few songs later Eddie showed you his range. The song was different from the rest. It started off slow and it just broke your heart.

Your eyes filled with tears listening to the lyrics.

🎵

I am the waiting one it seems

I am the waiting one it seems

Days grow somber quickly

Now how the quiet is release

And I feel so lonely

How did you think I would feel?

Throw me aside again

How did you think I would feel?

Won't let you hurt me again

Now I'm nothing to you, I can see

Just walk away from me

I'm torn apart I can't believe

You'd stand and watch me bleed

🎵

You turned away and cleaned your tears away. Eddie didn't mean to make you cry. He honestly felt so terrible. He wanted to stop playing and hug you. The song was an old one he wrote about a girl a long time ago. He didn't think it would have that effect on anyone. Let alone you. This was the second time he saw you cry and he never hated anything as much as he did seeing you cry. From that day forward he cut out that song from all future shows. 

The show went on and you looked better. Eddie said goodnight to the small crowd and started breaking down the set with his band mates. Once everything was packed up he said bye to his friends and went to sit with you. When he emerged from the back room he saw a guy offering to buy you a drink. But Eddie saw you already had a fresh in hand. You met his eyes as he approached. And with the biggest, prettiest smile he had ever seen.

" Baby!" You squealed, throwing your arms around his neck. 

He was shocked. " Uhhh.."

You whispered in his ear. " Play along."

He nodded slightly and wrapped his arms around you. With one grabbing your ass. You let out a small squeak when he did.

" Hi princess."

You pulled away a little and narrowed your eyes at him.

" Baby, this nice man offered to buy us drinks."

Eddie didn't look at the guy he kept his eyes on you. " Is that right?"

" Uhhh…haha…no…ummm….hmmm? What? Oh. Yeah." The random guy mumbled, and shook his head and took off.

You waited until he was out of sight and stepped back. 

" Munson!" You said through your teeth. Punching him in the shoulder.

" Ahhh what? You said "play along."

You shook your head. " But did you have to grab my butt?"

Absolutely.

" Yeah. You wanted him to stop bothering you right?"

You gave him a thin lip smile and sighed. " Yeah…just next time…keep it PG."

Eddie held up his hands. " Whatever you want princess."

You laughed and turned to the bar to get your drink. " I am not a princess. If anyone is, it's you."

Eddie furrowed his brow for a second before joining you. " How do you figure?"

You took a sip of your drink. " Hmmm let's see. All the jewelry, the very pricey leather jacket and your beautiful long hair. Everything about you screams princess Munson."

He scoffed and grinned.

You laughed a little. " Care to disagree?"

He contemplated it for a second. He knew if anyone heard you call him princess that he wouldn't hear the end of it. But part of him liked that you came up with your own nickname for him. 

" Can I call you that?" You asked with another amazing smile. 

" If…if it makes you happy."

You laughed. " Oh it definitely will."

" Then you can call me whatever you like."

You gave him a smirk. " Alrighty then, what does the princess want to drink?"

He let out a small nose laugh and couldn't stop smiling. 

" Uhh I'll just have water. One of us needs to be sober to get the other home."

You tilted your head. " Princess, I've been drinking soda water all night. I don't drink and drive…that's how-"

When you cut off Eddie saw this look that made his heart sink.. He opened his mouth to ask what you were gonna say but you shook your head and cleared your throat. 

" You guys were great." You said trying to smile.

Eddie rubbed the back of his neck. " Uhh thanks. "

There was this awkward silence after. Then out of the blue you offered to make drinks at your place. Eddie agreed and follow you home.

Once at your place Eddie expected to see your boyfriend, but it seemed he was out. You had made a couple of mixed drinks and sat talking about the show and how you were almost finished with college. Going for your teaching degree. Which he didn't even know you were in school. After a bit, Eddie felt a little uncomfortable, because he thought it was a little weird coming home with you. If he was your boyfriend he would have been pissed if you brought a guy home. So a couple of drinks in he decided to ask where Andy was.

You shifted around in your seat at the uncomfortable question. You hadn't told anyone about the break up. But being that you were a little tipsy your mouth just jabbered away.

" Uhhh we broke up."

Eddie tilted his head. " Really? You didn't tell me that."

You nervously laughed. " I haven't told anyone."

Eddie nodded and was quiet for a second. " When did that happen?"

You sighed. " Umm about 6 months ago."

6 months?!

Eddie nodded again. He was thinking about the whole night. The tattoos, you asking him to play along, not drinking at the bar and now. Finding out that you were finally single. He had a mixture of emotions. Not sure what to do with them. He decided to get to know you. That's all he wanted for tonight. Then maybe in the future he would ask you out. And that's how the late night started out. A couple more drinks later he found out your father passed from a drunk driver. He also found out you had a couple of siblings but they moved out of Hawkins a long time ago. Then the reason you broke up with Andy. He apologized and said all guys weren't like that, when you said you didn't want to pursue anyone anymore. One thing led to another and he found himself in bed with you. It started off innocent enough. You guys just laid there. You had offered that he stay the night so that he wouldn't drive home drunk. As he settled on the couch for the night you said as long as he stayed on his side he could sleep in bed with you. Originally he refused but then he looked at your couch. He was really tall and he couldn't get comfortable. So he went with you. He had chuckled seeing the pillow barrier you made between you two. You had given him something to wear and finally both laid down. 

He looked up to the ceiling and smiled. 

" You know I have the same glow in the dark stars above my bed too."

You smiled a little. " You do?"

" Yeah. Ever since I moved in with my uncle. He helped me put together the consolations. I remember laying out under the stairs when we went camping. And he would point out each one."

Your heart softened. Seems like you and Eddie had more in common than you thought.

" My dad did the same thing with me. Except our camping was sleeping bags in our backyard."

Eddie moved a pillow so that he can see your face. 

" I'm sorry about your dad."

You met his eyes and gave him a sweet smile." Thanks princess."

Eddie chuckled. After a few seconds though it faded and you guys just stared at each other. He saw you do that thing that people do when they want a kiss. When you looked between their eyes then to their lips, then back to their eyes. Maybe you didn't realize you were doing it. But either way, you were. And he definitely wanted to kiss you too. 

You move to lean on one of your elbows and got closer to him. Without taking his eyes off of you he moved another pillow. He leaned in and cupped your face. Getting so close he was just centimeters from your lips.

" Are you drunk?" He whispered.

You shook your head but that wasn't enough for him.

" Words sweetie. Use your words."

Your eyes were closed now and Eddie heard you gulp.

" I'm not drunk Eddie…please kiss me."

He quickly pressed his lips to yours. The kiss was good. Really good. And he couldn't just have one. He wanted them all. Every last one of your kisses. They were all his…Well tonight they were going to be.

You laid back down pulling him with you. He lost his balance and accidentally wet lipped your nose. You turned your face and laughed.

" Shit. Sorry."

You wiped your nose still laughing and looked back at him. " It's okay princess."

He chuckled. " I like when you call me that."

You bit your lip and tried to hold back your giggles. Eddie started stroking your hair. Giving you this look that you could swear was the 'I love you look.' 

No. You thought. That's not it. Can't be.

He leaned in and kissed you again. This time with more umph. A few seconds later his lips trailed from yours to your cheek then down your neck.

" I want you." He mumbled against your warm skin.

" Then take me." You whispered.

…

The next morning Eddie woke up feeling amazing. It's been a while since sex felt like that. It was passionate and very satisfying. Though the vanilla-ess of it was something he usually got bored with. Doing it with you was otherworldly. Maybe it's the way you touched him, or how your soft lips felt against his neck. Or maybe it was the way you moaned or said his name. Or how your body felt so good under him. Whatever it was, all he knew was that he wanted you again. And whenever or wherever you would let him. 

When he reached over for you the bed was empty. He looked at his watch and it was a quarter after 1. He sat up and saw his clothes neatly folded on the dresser with a note. 

' Hey princess, umm sorry I had errands to run. I made you some lunch. It's in the fridge. Please lock up when you leave.'

He smiled to himself. He was finally happy that he got his girl. Or so he thought.

He went to work that afternoon and decided after he was going to visit you. When he showed up you were making dinner. When you opened the door you gave him a half hearted smile. He of course went to you. Giving you a big hug. And when he leaned back he gave you a kiss. This one felt off. Nothing like last night. 

When he pulled away he looked at you and you had your head hung. 

" Eddie, we need to talk."

Those words punched him in his gut. Nothing good came from those words.

" Al-alright."

You moved and went to sit at the dining table, with Eddie hesitating at first. Eventually following suit.

You sighed deeply before you met his gaze.

" Eddie, last night was amazing. It's been so long since I felt that good."

He smiled. Okay this is good so far.

"I'm just not ready for something serious."

There it is. 

His smile faded. Was it so wrong of him to want you to be with him after an amazing night? He wanted to be your last everything. 

" Did I do something wrong?"

Your brow pinched together. " What? N-no. Eddie, this has nothing to do with you…it's me okay. Seriously, it's me. I don't want to get into anything, with anyone…don't get me wrong. You've been great. And last night was perfect for what it was…just sex. Which by the way. My compliments."

He chuckled a little. But your kind words weren't enough to make him feel better.

" I'm really sorry Eddie. I didn't mean to lead you on. Or make it seem I was ready for a relationship."

To be honest, you didn't. You were right. If it was anyone else, he would have actually left right after. And probably never talk to them again. But you weren't like anyone else. He cared for you. Always had. 

" I get it. And it's okay…maybe in the future…I don't know. Maybe we can try something."

You gave him a thin lip smile. You wanted to tell him not to get his hopes up. To not wait for you. He deserved someone who could give him their undivided attention. Someone who was good enough. Which you weren't.

" I uhh I guess I should leave you to it." He said getting up and headed for the door. 

" Eddie?"

He turned around. " Yeah?"

" Ummm…I made spaghetti…if you want to stay."

He grinned. How could he say no to that? Especially since it would be the first dinner he had with you.

" Do you have sandwich bread?"

Your lips turned up. " You make tacos with spaghetti too?"

He took off his jacket and flung it on the back of a chair. " I do."

Shaking your head you responded. " I wonder what else we have in common?"

The night was actually very entertaining. Turns out that you and Eddie could get on a deeper level. The conversation started off light and full of laughs. Then it ended with a bit of emotional stuff. Not knowing if you could let him in like that, you said you had to get to bed for the morning shift. 

As badly as he wanted to spend the night, Eddie bid you a goodnight and went home.

You tossed and turned while Eddie had sweet dreams about you. Your mind would not shut up about him. He thought you guys were together. For a second you thought he hooked up with you because well, he could. But showing up the next day. Hugging you and kissing you like that. It was like he'd been wanting to do it for some time now. 

Your thoughts ran rapid in what could have been if only you would have accepted your feelings for him so long ago. 

In highschool you were harboring a crush on good old Eddie Munson. He was beautiful and charming and ever so sweet. But being that you didn't seem to be his type, you shied away from the thought. He always seemed to be with someone who was as metal as he was. Or with someone completely opposite. But most definitely not someone as large as you were. Like Chrissy Cunningham for an example. Pretty, preppy, blonde, thin cheerleader with just the right amount of crooked teeth to make her smile charming. Before she got with Jason Carver she and Eddie had a little something. That was until Jason moved to Hawkins. Stealing her right from him. You noticed everything about Eddie. But it was when he showed up to school not showering for God knows how long, that you knew he was depressed. He wasn't his usual self for days and you had missed his dramatics. On one day in particular you overheard some stupid bitch saying she was going to give him a milk bath. At first you thought it was a joke. But you watched as she walked right over to Eddie and poured milk on his head. You saw red. Next thing you knew, you were being pulled off of her by your friends. With Eddie standing there with the look of horror. That look and that look alone told you everything you needed to know. And from that day forward you kept your distance when you could. Though you and he always seem to gravitate towards each other at parties and what not. Now things were different. Now you've slept with him and the whole mystery of whether or not he liked you more was shattered. Shattered because now you couldn't give yourself to him. Not in the way you wished you could. Your heart was in the middle of a fortress. Guarded not only by a thick high wall and barbed wire. But a 100 foot wide moat around it. With water dragons and Crocs at the ready with rows upon rows of teeth. Waiting to shred an intruder to pieces if they tried entering. 

What you wanted deep deep down, was for Eddie to not slay your protectors and to not break down your walls. But for him to see all of it and walk right in. To make your friends with your guards. To bypass all the protection you have built for yourself. To find your heart buried deep in the catacombs of your castle and be its one and only protector. But he wasn't going to. You made a promise six months ago to never let anyone in.

Never again.

…

Eddie was having a hard time just being your friend. Ever since the amazing 2 nights he spent with you everything went back to normal…well kinda. Work went on as usual. And most nights Eddie either talked to you on the phone or came over. He was determined to get you to see that he would never hurt you. 

He understood why you were the way you were now. It took a while but he eventually got you to open up little by little. He learned that you were the middle child and after your father died your mom had a lot of boyfriends. Who treated you like garbage. Some who were nice but were abusive to your mom. Your mom cycled out guys like it was the thing to do. So you never really learned what good relationships looked like. You had animosity towards your older sisters. They had a different father than you and your brothers. A part of you was jealous that they could see their dad when you could only see yours at the cemetery. And you grew to dislike them more as you got old. They bullied you about your dad and made fun of your weight. You had told him the first time they mentioned how big your thighs were. And then you told him about being molested when you were younger by one of your moms said 'boyfriends' Though your mom kicked him out. She never fully believed you. 

That was one of the worst things he had ever heard. Eddie could kick himself for not getting on a deeper level with you all these years. But it was finally happening and he wasn't going to let you get away. Or let anyone or anything hurt you. 

Everything seemed to be going great. He was getting close. But then one night you came over to his place for the first time. He had cleaned and attempted to make dinner. However, the only thing he could make was eggs and cereal. So instead of giving you food poison, he ordered a pizza. When you came he gave you a quick tour of the trailer then sat to watch a movie. During, you told him something that pissed him off.

" Andy came by today."

Eddie looked at you with his brows knitted together. " What for?"

You shifted a little and hung your head. " He wanted to get back together."

NO!

He was dumbfounded. " Ummm…what?"

You quickly glanced at him then looked away. " Yeah. He…he apologized for what he did."

Eddie didn't realize his fists were closed and he was breathing erratically. That was until he felt your hand over his. Your words snapped him back to the present.

" I told him that I want nothing to do with him." You pulled your hand away and looked at everything but him. " I know that if I do, he's only going to hurt me again. And even I know, just because I'm no one's first choice, that I don't deserve that."

Eddie shook his head. He was just going to tell you his real feelings. But what you said next hurt him.

" I know I shouldn't have brought it up. I don't like talking about my problems. But, I really needed a friend…because if I'm alone tonight…I know that I'm gonna take what I said back and try again."

He was confused. You just said you didn't deserve the hurt you knew was guaranteed.

" Why would you do that?" He asked.

You sighed. " It's stupid. But I miss coming home to him…I miss going to bed with him and miss the talks we had about the future…it's like your lyrics. 'Days grow somber quickly, now how the quiet is released, and I feel so lonely.'... It's like now I realize how useless and alone I feel…maybe it's just me…I'm broken or something. I keep thinking what it would feel like to be good enough. To be loved by someone. Truly loved. Not because of looks or what they can get from me. To be consumed with every part of me and love me dearly for my faults. And not hold them against me…Andy used to make me feel like that. And I can't help but wonder if we could get that back…but I know deep down we can't."

Eddie's heart just broke. You were not useless and as long as he was alive, you would never be alone. So he chose to voice this.

"Look sweetie, you are not useless. I need you." He said, grabbing your hand. " You're one of the most important people in my life. Ever since school you have been there for me…. And you're not alone…you've got me…I'm not gonna hurt you or make you cry."

When you looked at him he cupped your face. Giving you a soft kiss on the cheek.

" Baby, you're special to me. You're so beautiful." He said giving you a kiss on the forehead. " You're so…so sweet." He kissed your cheek again. This time pulling you closer to him by your waist. " Everything you say and do has me….I would follow you anywhere."

" Eddie." You whimpered before he kissed you. 

And though you tried to stop yourself, you had to kiss him back. Kissing never felt like this. It never felt so good before. And Eddie's kisses were the absolute best. He was tender but rough. It was sensual yet loving. Like he didn't just want what was between your legs. Even though the moment he said you were important, he had you. You just didn't know how much.

He pulled away and bore into your eyes. " Sweetie, you're perfect. And you didn't deserve what happened to you. You deserve to be shown love and respect…I'm sorry if he made you feel like you weren't enough. But baby you are. More than-"

You cut him off with your lips. Eddie always knew what to say to make you feel better about yourself. He honestly was the only person who could. 

You pushed him back and straddled him as best as you could with the small amount of space. Kissing him with all your heart and soul. 

" Mmmm…love kissing you." He moaned against your lips.

You wanted to say it back. Because you definitely did love kissing him. He was an incredible kisser. And his full lips fit yours so perfectly. He didn't overwhelm you with too much tongue. He let you breathe in between. Kissing him was just perfect.

Somehow, you guys ended up on the floor. You were kneeling between his legs giving him the most amazing blow job. 

Though you knew you shouldn't. You knew you should have just gone home after the initial first kiss. But you couldn't contain your need to please him. To make him feel as good as he made you feel with his words. Since you weren't so good with yours you used your body. Which was also wrong. It was the only way you could show affection. And right now. Eddie needed to be shown how much he meant to you. Especially tonight.

Eddie saw God…okay not really. But the second your lips touched his cock. He was done for. Every inch of his body tingled feeling and seeing your gorgeous lips surrounding him. The way your chubby cheeks hollowed around him. The feeling of your tongue swirling when you came up and how you took him deep and slow. It honestly had his eyes rolling back that he swore he saw his brain. To be truthful, he was biased when it came to you. In his eyes you could do no wrong. To him the sun shined out of your ass. He loved you. And tonight he felt like you were ready to receive that love.

A few minutes after you started he had to stop.

" Shit. Shit. Shit… baby…gotta stop…gonna make me cum."

Kinda the point. You said to yourself.

You let up and looked at him. Still making sure to stroke him. 

" Your turn." He said sitting up. Causing you to back away a little.

You shook your head. " N-no. It's okay. I-I just wanted you to feel good."

Eddie was confused. Just the way you said it irked him. He lifted his ringed hand and went for your chin when you looked away.

" You made me feel amazing, sweetie. But I want to make you feel good too."

You gave him a thin lip smile and tried to look away. But he kept holding your chin and staring at you with his big brown eyes. 

" Do you not like that?" He asked in a hushed tone.

He saw you swallow gently before your answer.

" I…I never…um had that done."

Eddie smiled sweetly. " That's okay. If you don't want to, then it's fine."

You were quiet for a second. Not even noticing that you had stopped moving your hand and he was getting soft.

In a small voice you asked. " Would-would it make you feel good?" 

Eddie let go of your chin and grabbed your hand. Bringing your knuckles to his lips.

" It's not about me feeling good. It's you…let me make you feel good baby."

You bit your lip out of nervousness. With another soft tone you asked.

" What do I do?"

Eddie got to his knees and kissed you before he answered. " Just lay down…I'll take care of you."

You nodded and did as he instructed. He looked down at you after and he took off his shirt. He put his large hands on your knees and slid them down to the waistband of your black tights. 

" I'm gonna take these off okay?"

You pressed your lips together and nodded again. 

" Words sweetie."

You licked your lips before answering. Your mouth was drier than a desert. 

" Yes princess. You can take them off."

Eddie chuckled a little. Then his heart melted seeing a beautiful smile stretch across your face. It was amazing and it nearly took his breath away.

He mentally shook off the overwhelming feeling to just lay down and hold you. Tonight was the night you and he were taking the next step in the relationship.

He peeled your tights down, with you raising your wide hips so he could get them past your bottom. Once they were off he took in your plush thighs and your very cute pink and white panties. He licked his lips feeling parched as well. 

Eddie had seen you naked before. But this time you were so nervous. You could feel your back starting to sweat. And when he went for your underwear, you held your breath. 

Eddie felt your legs tremble as he slid off your panties. He shushed you, kissing each knee. Trying to reassure you that everything was okay. That if you wanted him to stop, to just say something.

Eddie kissed all over your lovely thighs. Making sure not to miss a single inch. He was now face to face with your beautiful wet pussy. The sight alone took his breath away. Sure he's seen plenty of girls. But yours was better. Prettier. Wetter. A few seconds went by and he couldn't help but stare.

You started getting nervous again and questioning if he no longer wanted to do it. You lifted yourself up to your elbows and looked down.

" Eddie?"

" Huh? Oh…sorry. It's just…do you know how beautiful you are?"

You blushed and shook your head. He started caressing your outer thighs. 

" Well you are…you've always been beautiful. Especially now."

You swallowed. " Why-why now?"

Eddie got closer to your aching cunt. Watching it clench around nothing. 

" Because now…you're mine."

A chill ran up your spine and your core throbbed. 

Yours?

He laid his tongue flat against your warmth and licked upwards. 

" Fuuu" he groaned, lapping through your puff lips. 

He stared up at you and watched as your jaw slacked and your head slowly fell back. He flicked at your swollen nub and slurped up your juices. 

Eddie was enjoying this a little too much. But he couldn't help it. You tasted so good. You tasted like a penny dipped in syrup. A little sweet with just the right amount of tang. It was absolutely amazing. But what made it more so was how incredibly wet you got as you got more and more aroused. His tongue was swimming in it. His chin glistened with it. And he was just in love. 

Your soft moans gave him butterflies. And when your fingers laced in his hair he smiled to himself.

" G-good?" He mumbled.

" Mmhmm " you hummed. " S'good."

He smirked for a second and went back to focusing his mouth on your clit. Only this time he added his fingers to the mix. He eased his middle and ring finger in. Making you squirm. Your moans grew a little louder and your chest was heaving. 

So beautiful. He thought. 

Before he knew it you came. Nice and slow. He pulled out his fingers and brought them up to his mouth. Sucking them clean before climbing up your body. 

" Can I take your shirt off?"

Still trying to catch your breath, a small yes came out. He helped you sit up and pulled off your shirt. His calloused fingers traced the curve of your neck down to your bra strap.

" And this?"

You cupped his face and planted a gentle kiss on his lips. 

" Yes." 

As he kissed you deeply his hands went for your hooks. He had trouble for a second then froze when he accidentally snapped your bra. You whimpered a little then just laughed.

" Jesus…I-I-I I'm sorry. I-"

You brought a finger up and put it on his lips.

" Shhhh. It's okay. It happens."

A small breathy laugh left him and he nodded.

He tried again and was successful this time. He resumed the kiss and pulled your straps over your shoulders and tossed it to the side. He cupped both of your breasts and began massaging them. You pulled him down after a minute or so. As he got comfortable on top of you your hand snaked down to his length and put him inside of you. 

Eddie made love to you for what seemed like hours. He didn't want this night to end. But finally when both of you were spent he held you. 

For the first time you felt like you were where you were meant to be.

You were just about to fall asleep when Eddie said something you weren't ready for.

" I'm happy we're together now."

Your eyes widened. 

We're together?

...

@salenorona23

[orokukarai]

In Defence of Leorai

I know there have been a lot of these posts since forever blah blah blah but I wanted to put down my own thoughts and I've never quite 100% vibed with other people's opinions. HOWEVER this post by @leorai4life does resonate with me very well so I'll link it here because they're much more familiar with the source material than me: https://www.tumblr.com/tmnt4ever/713795384789581824 sorry i am a kataang shipper though lol, you're still cool

So a question I've seen come up multiple times is 'Is Leorai incest?'

tl;dr I don't think so.

Disclaimer: I haven't watched this show in a long time and I stopped just before the final season.

Here we go.

Are they biologically related? No. I've never bought a turtle at a pet store, but I don't think you go in, go to a tank, take out the turtles you want, carry them to the self-check out and then carry them home in your hands or pocket or recyclable bag or whatever. The shop staff would have been the last to touch them, and Splinter would have touched them maybe AFTER he got home. With small turtles, you don't handle them UNLESS it's absolutely necessary as it can stress them and stuff. Splinter not being the last to touch them is backed up by the fact that the turtles (except maybe Don) don't share physical similarities with Splinter. Splinter is Japanese and Leo and Mikey have blue eyes (plus the latter has freckles). I don't know whether during mutation if they even transfer DNA or if the ooze just evolves the creature based on what they last came into contact with, or if they're still mostly their turtle DNA or whatever, but I don't think they'd share enough similarities/DNA to be considered biologically related either way. And you know what? That's okay. He's just as much the turtles' father as if he was biologically related to them. Pushing for them to be biologically related (father-son) when it's extremely unlikely seems in bad taste to me. Also Karai and Leo are very different species. Splinter and Karai and Leo all mutated with different animals.

Are they adoptive siblings? Not... really? Only Leonardo was raised by Splinter, and he met Karai before they knew their connections to Splinter. Afterwards, Karai acknowledges that Splinter is her father, but for me it seems like more of a title to her. Splinter is more emotionally/psychologically family to April and Casey and the turtles than he is to Karai imo and she doesn't really try bonding as a family with everyone. He doesn't raise her at all beyond when she was a baby (which she can't remember), then he goes and dies rip. Oh and the fact that Leorai still flirt after the reveal (I'll get into that more in the next paragraph). Karai and Leo do not think of or see each other as siblings. Leonardo refers to Karai as Splinter's daughter but never as his sister. They were never raised together. They were not brought up together as a family. Yes Karai is referred to as family at times, but so are April and Casey and the TCRI cannister. Splinter is their father in different ways, in a way that they don't see each other as siblings. Is it still weird? Yeah. But TMNT 2012's writing gets pretty weird at times.

EDIT: I've seen a vague about this post about how they're like cousins because Shredder and Splinter grew up like brothers. My response: the turtles do not see Shredder as their uncle. Karai doesn't see Splinter as her uncle. The turtles and Karai do not see each other as cousins.

Finally, this is a kids show. Nickelodeon would not have continued pairing them and giving hints to them crushing on each other after the reveal if they were meant to be seen as siblings. Literally a few months ago, the official TMNT channel uploaded a 44 minute video of their 'best' moments with blue and black hearts in the YT title and a V-day short. I've seen people say Leo backed off her/lost interest after the reveal (not that he was ever pushing her for a romantic relationship?? They're crushing on each other but I see it as a slowburn). I think he was being respectful as she had just had her life flipped up upside down. Now wasn't the time to rizz her. Almost every other ship feels rushed and very instalovey while Leorai involves the characters being like. not weird about it. Dorky and cute. Funnily enough. TMNT 2012 does some things well but it really is a case of the show's focus on shipping characters dragging the show down (ESPECIALLY DON/APRIL/CASEY). Shipping culture, amirite?

My point about it being a kids show applies to Raphmona. I don't ship it but I've seen people argue that Mona is an adult so it's wrong. I think the simple explanation is that the show handled them and their writing clumsily too in this regard. I don't think if Mona was an adult that they'd be paired in the show. It's just not thought through well and kinda unclear but I can see people being uncomfortable with it.

If the ship makes you uncomfortable, whether it's for personal reasons or you're just not vibing, that's OK. If you personally see it as incestual, that's valid. But going around saying Leorai shippers all like or support incest is not true and there are many valid readings where they're not incestual even if you disagree with me. Some shippers probably do like incest, but then so do many non-Leorai shippers.

That's all from me! I'm disabling replies in advance bc I'm not bothered to debate. I've read what people have said already and I only have 4 followers.

[saspitite]

The Hint

On February 6th, 2024, a thread on KauKoBoard made by user HedoniSt0rm had been suddenly updated after going silent for nearly five years.

[24/02/06 19:13] HedoniSt0rm: Hello everyone. Sorry it's been a bit, I got busy with life and had to distance myself from online matters. I hope I didn't worry anyone, though- I know there's only like, 80 people here? So it's pretty easy to remember most everyone and notice when somebody leaves. Either way, I'm back, and with something I think you guys might like. [24/02/06 19:22] Milli_Best_Pilli: TORILLE PERKELE!! welcome back man, we missed you so much! :D you doing alright? [24/02/06 19:24] HedoniSt0rm: Doing just fine, thanks! :]. [24/02/06 19:25] notawolf: what did i miss??? hedoni's back???? talk about the second coming of christ lol [24/02/06 19:25] notawolf: in all seriousness i'm happy you're back dude. what's the thing you wanted to show us? [24/02/06 19:26] HedoniSt0rm: Glad you asked. Hope everyone still has their detective bones in them like the good ol' days, because this was an interesting encounter. Remember what I said before I left? It was the last update I made in this thread. [24/02/06 19:27] notawolf: no fucking way. [24/02/06 19:27] Milli_Best_Pilli: ...do i need to grab some popcorn [24/02/06 19:27] HedoniSt0rm: Yep. I talked to the Kauhukorppi. [24/02/06 19:28] notawolf: DUDE [24/02/06 19:28] HedoniSt0rm: Sit tight, I still have to upload all the photos to my computer- then I'll explain. [24/02/06 20:14] HedoniSt0rm: Alright, everything's done uploading and nothing got corrupted (too much). So, I had gone to a Hevisaurus concert earlier and remembered my hypothesis of potentially communicating with the Kauhukorppi. It felt a bit strange in practice, continuously taking photos while the band wasn't even playing, but I'm sure nobody noticed me amongst all the excited kids. My plan was to keep taking photos periodically until I "caught" him, and then find ways to communicate from there. Yes, it sounds extremely unplanned, but it turns out I didn't really need much of a plan at all. It turns out that the Kauhukorppi can read minds, too. Below is the first photo I had taken which captured the Kauhukorppi. What was interesting was the "..." clearly visible above his head, along with the fact that he wasn't staring into the camera like he usually does. He was definitely aware of me- but specifically aware of the fact that I was trying to get his attention...

[24/02/06 20:16] HedoniSt0rm: My suspicions that the "..." held significance ended up proving true with my second photo. He was now communicating with me directly, stating that he could "hear me"- my thoughts.

[24/02/06 20:18] HedoniSt0rm: I then asked the Kauhukorppi if I could speak with him. He stated that he would be delighted to. I'm unsure what the "just don't blink" statement specifically meant, but it was possibly referring to the photos I'd be capturing from then on.

[24/02/06 20:21] HedoniSt0rm: I began by notifying him of his presence in the real world, and how he had garnered a community online. I was surprised by his answer- he was aware of it, and even went on to say it was his "purpose" to be known.

[24/02/06 20:24] HedoniSt0rm: Upon asking for more clarification, it seems the Kauhukorppi became a bit agitated, mentioning some kind of nebulous "them".

[24/02/06 20:25] HedoniSt0rm: I took a wild guess and asked if he was referring to the Sony vs Hevisaurus incident. What I got in response was, bizarrely, silence. He had looked away again.

[24/02/06 20:28] HedoniSt0rm: I took another photo and he finally answered. It seems I surprised him.

[24/02/06 20:30] HedoniSt0rm: And then, he made a shocking offering to me. There seems to be much more we don't know about the Kauhukorppi.

[24/02/06 20:33] HedoniSt0rm: And as I asked just how much there was to uncover, the distortion of the photos began to strangely lessen, and he said this:

[24/02/06 20:35] HedoniSt0rm:

[24/02/06 20:37] HedoniSt0rm: This last photo unfortunately still has issues with excess corruption. I am not sure how to decipher the meaning left in this one, as it's too broken on my end to understand. Help would be appreciated. Thank you. I will be signing off, now. -Hedoni

[blizzardsuplex]

Roderick Strong Primer Part I: The Portion About Personal Connection

Part I (you are here) | Part II | Part III | Part IV

[So...I've been jokingly kicking around the idea of doing a series of meta posts on Roderick Strong for a while now. As usual with me, however, one late night conversation with @scissormedaddyass later it no longer stayed a joke.

This will be split into four parts: this one, where I talk about some of my personal experiences concerning his work (and PWG, because I can never get away from that promotion when talking about my faves ever); the second, which will dive into what I know of his history; the third, which will talk about his character arc - yes, even he has one - and finally a match guide, because by God he wrestles real good.

I'm not saying this'll be the most in-depth dive into his character and career in the world (for one I'm gonna miss a lot of early ROH and most NXT things), but until someone else makes one my little offering will have to do. If even just one person comes out of reading this understanding a little better the brainrot I occasionally have for him, then I think I did okay. Content itself under the cut!]

As I am sure absolutely no one who has talked to me about professional wrestling for longer than ten minutes knows, the promotion that made the greatest impact on me in my teen years was 2014 to 2016 Pro Wrestling Guerrilla (PWG). Beginning with night one of the 2014 Battle of Los Angeles that took place on August 29, 2014, I saw most of the shows they put out for a decent stretch, getting off the train after All Star Weekend 12's second night on March 5, 2016. It was there I saw the full potential of my first favorite wrestler, Chuck Taylor; there where I was first exposed to both talented up and comers like Speedball Mike Bailey and veterans like Chris Hero; there where I first saw the work of my favorite wrestler ever, Zack Sabre Jr.

In other words, for nearly two years it was my favorite promotion; as people well know, though, even as late as the mid-2010s it was not very easy to watch, and living half a world away with no credit card to pay for exorbitant shipping meant that to keep up to date I had to get extra creative. Knowing that I definitely wasn't going to be able to attend a live event, I followed what was happening as closely to real time as I could though social media posts, forum threads, and the occasional YouTube clips or official preview. As soon as news of the DVD releases dropped on the company's Twitter, I would Google search through pages of trash results for a couple of minutes every day until I found someone who'd uploaded the actual full event in glorious 240p and immediately watch it—more often than not, I knew, it would make my day.

I'm not saying PWG was perfect (God no). In fact, back then I don't know if, had I been more active in wrestling discussion circles, there would have been a safe space for someone like me. Still, spending all that time and effort to keep up and watch it was a really important time for me as a fan. It opened my eyes to how fun and creative pro wrestling could be, especially with the freedom independent status provided; sure, oftentimes it would be dizzying or even dangerous to give that kind of power to the wrestlers, and they lacked the multiple levels of safety and security that proper contracts provided, but there was just so much sheer entertainment I got from spots and shenanigans that would have never be cleared or work with the constraints of sponsors, copyright, or other corporate concerns. Making to suck your opponent's dick in the middle of the ring? An invisible remote that magically makes everyone, including the chanting fans, act in slow-mo? "The legendary asshole of Jushin Thunder Liger"? All hilarious, all fondly remembered. There's a reason that for years my top wrestling dream was to attend a show in Reseda—a dream that'll never be realized, but the Globe Theatre is a beautiful venue that seems to actually have working AC, so that's nice!

But, as mentioned: after Zack won the PWG title, a result I spoiled for myself via Reddit thread with much screaming, I stopped watching. It wasn't that I was any less interested in it—I was very much excited about the prospect of my boy on top, actually! It was simply that, between the sites I used all getting nuked and not knowing how to torrent, I just couldn't find it anymore. So I fell out of watching PWG, then the American and British indies, then NXT and what little main brand WWE I still watched, and finally I didn't watch much wrestling at all for two years, from 2016 to 2018. I only came back, actually, when I found out where my old fave Zack ended up: this large promotion called New Japan…

But that's a ZSJ story, and (as is hopefully clear from the title of this post) this series isn't about him. Instead, let's set the scene:

On July 29, 2016, two events and about four months after the last PWG I'd been able to watch, Roderick Strong had his last indie date before going to WWE. Having watched it back, the entire sendoff is pretty elaborate: after champion Zack fends off his latest challenger, Kyle O'Reilly, in a grueling 20+ minute match, Roddy comes down to the ring and demands his rematch. What follows is a less than six minutes breakneck fuckfest with several run-ins and foreign object usage; but, of course, Roderick loses. Afterwards, inviting his friends then that night's locker room down to the ring, he makes his speech about how in 2014 (which was, of course, the year I started watching) he'd made a commitment to reinvent himself as a wrestler—a move that ended up contributing to him being signed to NXT after a 15+ year career. He's thankful for everything PWG had given him, though (especially his then-fiance, now-wife Marina Shafir); as he says to cap things off, he loves the crowd, doesn't hate them!

Honestly, I wish I watched just two more events than I actually did back then, because it might have made my path to becoming a fan of Roderick Strong way more flattering to me. Instead, I have to admit: after Zack tapped him out for the belt and Roddy slunk off to the back, and for a long time during and after my two year break…I forgot about him.

It's a bit of an awful thing to say and is, on top of that, admittedly hyperbole; I never dumped anything of him in my brain down the memory hole. What I mean is that he never really came to mind unless I thought about it really hard. Even during my lull period, when people asked me about pro wrestling I could talk about my favorite people and my favorite moments and my favorite matches, and Roderick was never really there in anything more than a passing mention. In my defense, at first it was because I was even more of a massive hipster back then than I am now, and since I knew he was in NXT I assumed that when (not if; those were more innocent days) he'd go up to the main roster and get lots of fans he wouldn't need me vocally being one of them. Sure, he was probably going to be misused and I wasn't really going to watch to find out because this was 2016 WWE, but he'd at least get that money and that fame on Raw or Smackdown. Why wouldn't he? He was fucking Roderick Strong, a fantastic wrestler and someone I didn't realize for years people thought was bland as hell. Surely he'd make it. Surely.

But slowly and steadily he began to fade from my thoughts, until it came to the point that even after I started watching prowres again from 2018 and into the pandemic I didn't talk about him at all—even when I began looking back nostalgically on my time watching PWG.

Then, completely by chance, the week I decided to get back into All Elite Wrestling—I watched for a while in 2019, but lapsed during the pandemic era; it was hard enough to watch one major wrestling company with no crowds, much less two—was the week Roddy Strong debuted there. Buoyed by other people's excitement and name recognition, I felt generically happy watching the clips. "Oh, yeah," I said to myself. "Roderick Strong. What's he been doing for the past few years?" 

(Yes, I completely missed his Undisputed Era period, and was shocked at the belated news that he and everyone else in that faction never officially made it to the main roster. Yes, this also means I mostly know what happened thanks to Drea fighting the good fight with all her Era boys fics. No, I don't think I'm gonna watch his NXT run any time soon, LOL.)

After therefore deciding not to really dive into his recent past, I decided to, for the umpteenth time, think about when I first became familiar with him in that era of PWG…and something funny came about. If you're familiar with the trope called "Once More With Clarity", then that's what honest to God happened: eyes wide and memories superimposed above a shot of the aforementioned eyes at around 50% opacity, I realized that so many of my favorite moments and matches had him there the entire time. Person ZSJ won the belt from? Roddy. One of ZSJ's best matches until that point? When Roddy beat him the first time Zack challenged for the title. Speedball's real coming out party with the Reseda faithful? Them answering Roddy's open challenge at Mystery Vortex. That (in)famous, ridiculously overbooked, ridiculously memorable Guerrilla Warfare match at All Star Weekend 11? The heel aggressors was Mt. Rushmore 2.0, Roddy's faction with the Young Bucks and Adam Cole. Even outside of PWG, I ended up finding out he was involved in several other promotions I followed; I saw him several times in EVOLVE for instance, and what little Ring of Honor I watched Mr. ROH himself was, of course, there as well.

I'm probably forgetting something, but here's what I'm trying to get at: the more I combed through my good memories of pro wrestling the more I realized Roddy'd not only always been there, but that he was a key player in them, not just in matches but in the angles as a whole—and, yes, even promos, his forever dump stat. At the time it was all going on, I just…never really noticed him. And that's the story of much of his career, isn't it (at least in kayfabe)? Always considered an excellent hand, but even when he held the big belt he never seemed or felt like the most important person there.

"Okay," I then said to myself those months ago. "So he's a great wrestler. He's in all these great things I like, wrestling-wise. But who is he, really? Is there enough for me or anyone else to chew on from a character perspective?"

The fact I'm dedicating a four part series to this man, along with all the GIFsets and fanfic I've made, might spoil my answer to that. But for now, brave reader who's actually read all of this (or clever reader who's skipped to the end), stay a little in suspense for a bit if you’d like while I write part two. :')

[glitchpirate]

It's 2023 and I'm still using the same template now 7 years in a row! Yippeee!

This year I decided to ramble about each artwork presented so uh. Storytime! Under the cut.

(Also usual reminder that now I have a GW2 side blog so that's where I'll upload GW2 artworks from now on -> @glitchgw2 (except the zine piece because I entered the zine with this blog))

January: I was going through a bit of an artblock, most of the things I drew this month were traced. One of the only things not traced was this Anassy! "Ah, etto... bleh!" I said after tracing the 5th drawing I saw on the internet.

February: a commission! Long overdue, but I finally finished it. Sylvaries are always tough to render. >.< The other things I drew this month were art party doodles and personal stuff.

March: one of the two months where the featured piece is the only thing I "finished" that month. And last minute, too! Made for trans visibility day which was on the very last day of March.

April: due to several things, Tyria Pride 2022's art commission giveaways got delayed to 2023. This was my piece for the person I was assigned to! ^_^ This was fun, I found out some new ways to render sylvari hair...

May: I vividly remember seeing a Diavolo art with this same reference and I was like hey. I could do this too but with Lucien. How haven't I done this before. P.S.: he's actually nothing like Bateman but it's a sick cover anyway lol. Mmm knife...

June: it was a sick (as in like epic) month for me. I reworked Dawn and Incendere (my Ghost OC), welcomed my unhinged self and drew a lot of nsfw. But not good nor holy enough to share. :P But it was a nice practice anyway. I chose one drawing of Dawn because out of everything I drew it looks the most "clean" and finished.

July: I remembered My Life as a Teenage Robot as I do tri-monthly and almost made an AU for Lucien. Almost. So instead I just made whatever this is. This was one of the most fun pieces I've ever did, I finally feel comfortable lining in CSP and just in general this was super shapey and smooth to work on. <3

August: Tyria Pride giveaway commission but this time, in time! I got to work on a lovely charr which I don't do often! My other choices would have been a cropped nsfw commission but I lowkey like this one better.

September: the other month where I didn't draw anything but this. Had a banger idea for Gliaster's future which is them becoming a lich but also being corrupted by malignant powers so they're now even more evil and also driven by vengeance towards the Commander and Aurene. Tried to come up with a design for them, alas this piece. It's... very in progress. But I like said progress so far.

October: the opportunity for an art related full-time job came up which meant I had to up my portfolio and draw some realistic/semi-realistic studies. I was surprised by myself lmao but ngl it was also a big pain in the ass. Art is suffering. <3

November: the continuation of October but now with an original piece! Felt like drawing one of my best friend's GW2 characters. <3 Haven't uploaded this one yet as I might rework the background sometime.

December: and finally, my piece for Commander Of Your Heart GW2 zine! Which wasn't actually restricted to only Commander characters, but any other OCs/player characters too, so of course I chose Gliaster. :D And we can apparently show teasers, so I can include this little bit! But what is Gliaster up to? Find out in February, for free!

*

Aaand that's it. It was actually super fun to look back to the year not only in pictures but some words too. :D If you read this all, I appreciate you, thank you so much. <3

[medievildead]

This is gonna be long and none of you have to read this. I just need to vomit out a happy rant about God of War.

Like I don't know how to describe my joy and I know I keep saying it I know I do but like. Having been a fan of this series since the very first release in the 2000s, loving the story and the depth of Kratos and seeing just how vast and big and huge the fanbase is now. The fanworks people make have made my heart so happy. These games always meant so much to me as a greek mythology kid and its up there with one of the first series me and my dad ever played together (he made me step out of the room during Those Scenes, don't worry)

I remember my dad and I first seeing the demo for the first ever God of War on a ps2 demo disc we got from back when GameStop was still EB Games in Canada. We both thought it was so cool. I watched him play the demo over and over again, until one day he could finally get the full game and we were even more hooked. We beat the game so many times together and watched the bonus content until the disc wouldn't work anymore. We tried our hand at every difficulty just to unlock every costume.

I remember when God of War II came out he was one of the first in line to get it that weekend. He even got the BradyGames player guide, which me and my brother read over and over and over again looking through the pages, all the lore hints and bonus content, all the characters and concept art until the pages ripped out. I still have the poster from that guidebook hanging in my bedroom. I still know where all the secrets are in that game like the back of my hand. When the game was beat and the final cutscene played my gad and I would always day how exited we were for the next installment.

I remember the day my dad got our PSP. He got the God of War bundle, the special red edition with the decal of Kratos on the back, the one that came with Chains of Olympus. I remember waking up early on the weekends to sit with him on the couch and watch him play. And if I ever missed anything because the screen was too small he would describe it to me happily. And when Ghost of Sparta came out I got to experience it all over again.

I remember when we first started seeing trailers for GoW iii and I got so exited. I remember my dad and I playing the demo with the chimera battle and being so, so so happy, saying we couldn't wait for the game to come out. I remember my dad refraining from buying the game on his own, waiting to stop somewhere on the way home from school just to buy it with me. And at this point I was finally old enough to figure out a game controller on my own, without my dad helping me at all, and the thrill of playing as Kratos on my own was a titular moment of me realizing I was growing up. Like not to be emo but playing God of War on my own during my adolescent years hit me more than puberty.

I can go on forever. I remember the day Ascension came out, and booking it to EB Games just to try out all the new features. I remember when I saw the novels for sale at a shop in the city, and not wasting another breath telling my dad I wanted them, and reading them more than I read my books for school reports. I remember almost crying because I didn't own a smartphone and couldn't play God of War: Betrayal and being so relieved to see footage was uploaded online and I was able to experience it that way. The only reason I knew what Soul Calibur even was is because Kratos was playable in Broken Destiny for the PSP. He was my main by the way

TL;DR this series was my childhood. It means so much to me. Every time my dad played he would select easy mode so he could read out the story to me. I hyperfixated on the story. And already being a mythos obsessed kid, GoW encouraged me to research mythos even further. And I was so happy when I would replay the games after learning more and more to understand reference after reference after reference. Teaching myself new glitches and exploits and finding new secrets in hidden areas after every playthrough. Rebuying the games every single time they were ported to a new system or I lost the disc. I own like 3 or 4 copies of each game at this point because I never want to not have them. It was like a new experience every time.

However. The games were always popular yeah. Highly rated. Fun to play. Kratos was a Playstation Icon. but large playerbase meant nothing in the long run for me.

I frequented gaming forums and Facebook in the early days and it was easy to tell most everybody playing these games hardly gave two shits about the story. There was nobody who really wanted to talk about lore. Nobody who really wanted to go in depth about characters. Nobody who really wanted to share ideas beyond the main focus. I remember going on deviantart and seeing people post fanwork on the occasion whenever a new game was released, but then never again. Silence. Interest lost as quickly as it came. Honestly I noticed even when the leaks for the Norse saga were published, the majority of people turned to look, were interested, started talking, but then looked away elsewhere when it wasn't the flavour of the month anymore.

I remember running God of War blogs back in 2012 to 2015 and nothing. Maybe three people interacted. Maybe three people bothered. But there were little to no fans. An audience yes but, fans? Fanartists? Writers? Headcanons? Any kind of fanmade media at all besides a few one off images online? I'd be lucky if I saw a shitpost that mentioned Kratos.

I remember writing fanfiction and posting fanart when I was twelve. I remember having action figures of Kratos decorating my shelf and playing with them till they broke and crying bc I was so upset. I loved enjoying these games. I was having so much fun on my own. I came to terms with an audience of none. Accepting that, despite the popularity of the series, to make fancontent for it, to entertain myself with the deeper lore of it was nothing but a niche.

Even with the release of 2018, as happy as I was for the new hopeful wave of fans, I was always a little upset when I saw people who played that installment as their introduction to God of War, go on to say they had no interest in giving the previous games a whirl because of the difference in gameplay and story.

At the end of it all it was still a niche.

So just... here we are today.

Here we are today and I can go into the God of War tag and be hit with a wave of the most gorgeous shit I've ever seen. Here we are today and I wake up to the most incredible drawings and paintings of the characters I grew up with in the most creative scenarios. The fanfictions that span chapters and rip deep into Kratos and his story. The headcanons that take inspiration from the most obscure lore bits from the series. The OCs that are inspired by this series' specific interpretation of mythology.

I can't put it into words. With the release of the Norse saga it's been... amazing. I just genuinley can't describe my joy. When I was playing the games themselves and the older games, the games I've been hyperfixated on my whole life were mentioned, that was one thing. But seeing other people comment on it. Discuss it. Be invested. Enjoy it enough to be inspired. Its like... So amazing.

I don't know what it is. Maybe its because of how the new games were more story driven than the previous installments. Maybe its because of the protrayal of the characters. Maybe its because of the popularity of norse mythology. I don't know and honestly I do not fucking care what the reason is. All I know is that I'm seeing people fall in love with something that means this much to me. Thank you Santa Monica for not forgetting about the story and games that made Kratos.

Seeing people who finished Ragnarok saying they were finally going to start playing the previous games. Or watching gameplay. Or reading up on the lore. Making fanart of the Greek saga. Fanfiction of it. Talking about it. Talking about the story. The deep, heartbreaking but important story that the games have always been telling and was always there that I have been invested in since childhood. I see fanart of Kratos and Calliope together, of Orkos, of Deimos, AUs and headcanons about them, and I want to cry happy tears.

I know you guys aren't making this content for me specifically. But I still have to say thank you. Thank you for making my heart happy. Thank you for reminding me of my most beloved memories every day with the stuff you make. You make my soul happy. Thank you for making stuff I can love and cherish and share with other fans, OTHER FANS, that I can talk to and listen to and discuss lore and art and ideas with about something so beloved to me and now beloved to others. I see people posting about it in depth and I am so happy to talk to or just hear people talk.

To ALL the fanartists, writers, and just fans in general who actually enjoy my or anyone else's GoW content, all of you on behalf of every long time God of War fan thank you so much for being a part of this community.

The feeling of knowing a series of media that's been so obsessively near and dear to me my entire life is becoming dear to others is indescribable. I know I'm being so emo about this but fr like... having people I can just. Talk to about GoW lore and nodding and agreeing and. Ahhhh.

I'll stop rambling now because I could go on forever but just like. Thank yall for being here. The stuff you guys make and share means more than you think.

Thank ya 💕💕🙏

[lovecanbesostrange]

I don't have a PS5, but there is still undying love for Silent Hill 2 in my heart, one of my absolute fav games ever, and thanks to everybody uploading playthroughs (without commentary), cinematic cuts, easter egg/reference lists, comparisons between original/remake and of course analysis up on YouTube. I almost feel like I played the remake myself. (Except I skipped some stuff, so I don't know all of the new puzzles, and I haven't seen all the new little collectibles. Focused on cutscenes, the new endings and stuff.)

People who hate Maria as a character are still red flags to me! I love her so much.

That woman is the poster child of Doomed by the Narrative. I want to hug her. And maybe smother her with a pillow to end her misery......................... I loved SH2 back in the day and I even bought the PC version so I could play the Born from a Wish DLC. That little extra and the existence of the Maria ending make the character of Maria such a walking tragedy - I cannot not love her for all her struggles. And omg the new interactions added! The way she slowly spirals into becoming more and more manipulative for her own survival, it's magnificent.

I know, my fav character isn't even technically real, but a manifestation. But if you play the DLC you can see she is a person. A very confused one, just dropped into the nightmare world that is this foggy town, who gets to talk to a guy behind a door "hey, do you believe in fate". And it doesn't matter what she thinks, because she has to deal with the fact that she is born out of James' psyche -- but Silent Hill makes her real! She is the more sexual, provocative version of Mary, but she cares about Laura's safety. She is lonely and clings to James, because that is her purpose. She is not allowed free will, she is sick and then she keeps fucking dying over and over again. Of course she becomes the last big boss, because from her POV there is nothing else to do, she doesn't want to die and go quietly into that good night. Who could blame her? And even if you get the Maria ending, when the final big bad is Mary turning -- well, tough shit, Maria gets to leave (because Silent Hill did in fact make her real), but the cough shows that she will follow Mary's long path of sickness. And oh boy, the way James tells her she'd better do something about that cough, it sounds so extra sinister. For James Leave is an actual good ending, the Maria ending also grants him a sorta prize (for not even dealing with his shit), but for Maria leaving is just walking away into her next inevitable death. That woman was born in a fridge to never leave it.

The voice acting in the original is a choice. I know that. It's meant to be weird, dreamlike, a bit off and all that added to the atmosphere back then. But I can't blame Bloober Team for going in a more realistic direction with the remake. And it does change some stuff, some readings. Just that last sentence alone... the way original Mary reads "you made me happy" is edged into my brain. The almost pause, the breaking of her voice, it's like a last "I forgive you, please remember there was good between us". And the new is short, to the point, a goodbye, with maybe less weight?? But it still breaks my heart.

They managed to make the In Water Ending even better and more heartbreaking? I was beside myself when we get to see James back in the car. AND THE WAY HE LOOKS AT THE BACKSEAT!!!!!! It was so great when we finally got to find out that Mary's body has always been in the car and in the remake they adress this so directly with the endings now. And the add something slighlty better than In Water with Stillness. AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH To have something that is between Leave and In Water. Where he won't leave a happy man, not leave with Laura, but to also not kill himself, because Mary never wanted that for him and to have that difference in the ending be Mary talking to him in the car... it killed me!! The new emotional scars inflicted are glorious. Also it means James will be able to move on while still being broken. Not pushed over the edge, not healed. Still. He has to live with everything. He needs more time. Those extra scenes in the car really got to me.

And then there is Angela. First off all, fuck every of those incel outrage clickbait bastards. She is not meant to be sexy and desired. There is a whole ass character in this game representing lust, leave Angela alone! I have to be honest, even playing the game over and over back in the day, I somewhat kept forgetting her age, she always seemed older (which was intentional). She is fucking 19 and already went through so much shit and is riddled with trauma - she needs protection and especially from those type of man babies who complain about her character model now. Those assfaces don't give a shit about the plot and the art of the story, they want fap material and it shows. It's so disgusting. And damn, the voice actress gives it her all. The mirror scene is still heartbreaking and the stairwell... wow... I still believe James doesn't see the flames, that's why he comments on the heat. He still isn't fully synced up to her, but he is closer to her. And nothing can save her. She seems a little bit less erratic, but the way she goes from fear and disgust to a bit of rage and then despair again - it's all still there.

The funny thing is that I own two copies of SH2. Got the Director's Cut for PC, so I could play Born from a Wish and I have the Special Edition for PS2 that comes with the Making of DVD. Both feature the cover art with James' eyes. I don't even have a copy of the most known with Angela's face. Even though it meant so much that Angela was chosen for that. Her story that unfolds with a few scenes has such a big impact. But damn do I love the new cover art for the remake. That Mary gets her place in there. That blinding white background. Absolutely adore it. Would put that up as a poster. "In my restless dreams I see that town. Silent Hill." Those words will forever haunt me in the best way possible.

Akira Yamaoka's soundtrack has never left me over the years. I have a few tracks from 1-4 on my mp3 list in the car (nothing beats driving alone on empty streets at night and the randomizer decides it's time to play Promise or Not Tomorrow) and the songs with vocals by Mary Elizabeth McGlynn hit so extra hard (Your Rain is underrated, yes Room of Angel destroys your soul on a subatomic level, amzing, but Your Rain makes me want to scream into the void for five minutes straight). I'm so happy he returned for the remake OST as well, but I think I need to give that a few more go throughs. Especially because I didn't actually play this myself, so it hits different. Still remaking those as well was the right choice imho. Creating something entirely new would piss of old fans (could work for new ones of course), but just re-using the old would be too lazy, this remake offers new interpretations of known interactions, so give me a few more instruments, switch it up a little. It all does feel a bit more cinematical to me. Unhinged Betrayal has a far more epic vibe now.

For the record - Red Pyramid in SH2 is the motherfucking OG, the one that makes the most sense. But I do not hate how he was changed for the film or that he later came back in the game series and was altered. Iconic character design, works so well as a punisher/executioner all around. I'm okay to go with "James saw a picture of him on his first visit in town in the Historical Society and picked him that way". Tied to Silent Hill before that though. Sssssshhhhhh, it works. I can't invest energy to be upset about that.

[empressburbey]

Mentions of sappy, cheesy and mental health triggers?

Don't take this post to seriously. One of the questions I wish I had an answer to, is why the fuck did I buy the Grandmaster manhua that day? No, why did I want to start reading mdzs in the first place.

Some background info: Just the idea of kind of consuming mdzs has been on my mind since 2019? 2020? but I never committed sit down and read or watch.

But one morning I just sat on the bus and decided, that now is the time. After like four years. I can't remember a specific catalyst.

Yet it still took me a while to reaaally get into the books from when I first started reading. I needed a few months.

To those who read this, I let you on a little secret.

I'm glad I only started reading mdzs 4 years after my first interest came to be. Because truth be told, I was borderline suicidal last year. Don't get scared. It's alrighty now, nothing to worry. And it also wasn't that bad, I just had a few thoughts flying in my head about ending things. Sort of fantasizing about it. And it couldn't have been that bad, because all it took me to read about ancient Chinese men falling in love to be fine again. If all it took was to do that, then how bad could it have been. (I also had friends who helped me overcome things)

But yet I still managed to read a few pages of Grandmaster. And I really enjoyed it, but commiting was so difficult at that time. Until one day it started sliding like butter. I couldn't stop. I scammed my homophobic parents to give me some money on the books, I sat through my bus rides, train rides home reading, while standing and waiting for the bus/train I was reading, I remember I even once walked and read. But why did I decide to even read it in the first place???

But it brought me so much joy. I was so happy following Wei Wuxian and seeing the romance unfold. The thoughts on how life is miserable and just minuscule thoughts of ending life kind of vanished.

My life was in general just got better, but Grandmaster kind of really pulled me out of it. It's indescribable how happy I was and still am when rereading chapters. The books took me back to my old hobbies I stopped doing like reading and writing fanfictions. Obsession got so bad, I decided in the coldest day of the year to take an extra stop to buy tgcf.

And now I've been getting attention on my head canons that I have finally started uploading. Given, I post mostly scumvillain because it's actually my favorite book. And the notes are not much and others might even get more attention. But to me it means the world. Honestly, I can show people my ideas, my thoughts and get positive feedback. All because of a medium that I really like. I can partially share my love for writing. Just my small ideas get so much positivity (I mean I do have a hualian fic on ao3, which is meant to be much longer.) .

With this, happy 10th anniversary Scum Villain Self Saving System, you a baddie. Keep slaying, and give me a second season to the donghua.

And all because silly me bought a manhua on a whim.

[gergthecat]

MORE AO3 UPLOADS YAY.

Reunion - Dual POV Saedii/Tyler

Saedii

Tyler Jones is the opposite of everything I’ve ever stood for. Tyler Jones is stubborn and competitive. Tyler Jones is all of my thoughts. Tyler Jones is beautiful. I saw him last during our call four days ago. He gazed at me with that prideful look on his face. The look that shows me he knew I would join him in his fight; he knew I would come around. 

He seems injured, and unfortunately, I seem to care. We have won our battle, and my fleet’s course is now set to Aurora Academy to meet him. 

In a daze, I wander my ship in the night, and as I pass the MEDbay, I remember our time together. The press of his body against mine, his soft lips leaving warm trails along my neck. We are folding, yet the stained grays only barely dull the glowing ache for him to once again be by my side. I revolve back around to my quarters, remembering the urge to call and to hear the smooth warmth of his voice. Reaching into my wardrobe, I grab nightclothes that I have worn the past week. They are stiff and rough against my skin, nearly suffocating. In stark contrast, my bed is cool and velvety, although, perhaps I am just tired.

Tyler

Of all the things I’ve come to expect being awoken by, my bleeding sister is not one of them. Even in the thick of the war, Scar was never much of a bruiser. This is why, when I open my eyes to find her sitting across from me in the MEDbay holding a wet cloth up to her bleeding, purple nose, my first thought is that something serious is going down. 

Only when I turn my head to the right do I see the presumable cause for my sister’s disorderly state: Saedii Gilwraeth. Just as I’m about to question what exactly happened here, First Paladin Erien McStabbyface walks in looking even worse for wear than Scar. He’s got a huge, deep purple bruise on his right cheekbone, and his lip and chin are split and slowly oozing violet down his throat. He looks at Scarlett, then me, and finally, Saedii, not quite meeting her eyes. There’s an awkward silence until, finally, I ask, “Can someone please tell me the hells is going on?” 

Erien’s head snaps towards me and Saedii’s eyes narrow in his direction. In my entire ( albeit short ) adult life, I have never been this confused. I cannot help but wonder:

If somehow, my sister beat Erien up and

Why Saedii is here

“Tyler Jones,” Seadii says, nodding to the door.

I start the little wiggle-dance that I do whenever I have to leave my bed and fall into my wheelchair. I can walk, but using my chair is so much easier, and I can’t say I don’t feel a tickle of excitement when Saedii looks concerned. She watches as I struggle past her through the door.

Finally escaping the MEDbay, she sits, crossing her legs, on a bench in the hallway, now just below eye level. 

“They got into… a disagreement, of sorts,” she starts.

“Yeah, I figured. But Erien seems more injured than Scar is. I don’t believe MY sister could come out on top in a fight with him.”

“She didn’t. They were arguing in the docking bay; she insulted him, and he retaliated via a strike in the nose.”

“And?”

“And I slashed him,” she says, looking away.

I’m almost too shocked to ask, but I do anyway, “Why?”

“Why not? It would’ve caused an uprising. Kaliis was ready to go up against him, and I prefer my subordinates living.”

“Kal wouldn’t do that, he’s not like you,” I mumble, immediately realizing my mistake. She narrows her eyes at me, and I hurry to devise a sufficient apology.

“Like me? What exactly does that mean, Tyler Jones?”

“Nothing, I-I didn’t mean it like that, Saedii. I just- Maker- I just meant that he’s not as hot-headed as you,” her eyebrows raise dauntingly high, “err, he’s more, I don’t know, calm, I guess.”

I expect her to insult me or walk away; instead, she softly smirks, and before I know it, I’m laughing, and she’s quietly chuckling, too. I barely get to enjoy the pleasant moment before she abruptly stands, and when I think she’s about to storm away, she leans down and kisses me. I’m shocked only for a moment before the hunger takes over. My left hand tangles into her braids and my right presses on the small of her back to awkwardly pull her down into my lap. Hers cup my cheeks and lightly stroke below my closed eyes. The kiss isn’t like anything we’ve had before; it’s soft and sweet and bright and warm. It feels like The Maker Themself crafted us to fit perfectly together. My hand slowly rubs up and down her back, hugging our chests tightly together.

At last, she pulls away, and I see that her ears are bright purple, although I’m guessing my cheeks aren’t much better. She looks freaking adorable. We’re both breathing heavily, and as my forehead finds hers, I feel her mind leaking into mine. Her beautiful violets and reds and golds shimmering against my yellow and orange. She lets me see her mind candidly, without her iron armor. The moment is absolutely perfect—that is, until Scarlett marches out of the MEDbay and audibly gasps at what she’s interrupted. Saedii instantly separates, jumping to her feet. This would all be fine if I weren’t in my chair because the momentum of her standing sends me rearing backward and threatening to fall. They both reach out to stop me, Saedii just barely catching my outstretched arm before I hit the floor. Scar snickers, and Saedii gives her a glare that could pierce a star.

“I just wanted to tell you not to yell at her; it wasn’t her fault,” Scar clarifies, which I might have been able to laugh at had I not just taunted death.

“I know better than to yell at her; last time I did that, Erien stabbed me.” 

Scar looks at me, and then at Saedii, who just shrugs.

“Okay then, I’ll leave you two sweethearts alone,” she turns back to Saedii, “Go easy on him.”

And she does leave us alone. We just barely make it back to my quarters before we’re stumbling onto my bed and she’s ripping my shirt off. I definitely prefer alone.

Check me out on AO3 :)

Masterlist :)

[sealbirdy]

A long Gravity Falls feelings rant because I am full of emotions rn.

This rant is mostly about my experience with the show and what it meant/means to me as someone who's watched it since pretty much the beginning, not really the show itself. I Also won't go into any plot details of the show or the book.

I just finished reading book of bill, and also with everything happening tonight I'm just so full of emotions, I just need to get it out somewhere.

First of all, the moment I found out about the whole website thing that's happening, I was already super hyped. I felt like I was back in my teenage years eagerly waiting what's happening next and theorizing with other people about what's goin on. Even my boyfriend commented that it was nice to see me so excited about something (I've been having kinda a hard time lately so this was a nice surprise for tonight). Then someone gave me a link to a pdf file that had the whole book of bill and my night just got better. I do want to get the actual book at some point too, but I don't really have the money rn.

At first I was just kinda reading the book quietly to myself, but then there was something that made me laugh so much I wanstd to readi it for my boyfriend too, and ended up reading almost the whole book to him out loud. I skipped a few parts (my eyes couldn't focus and some of the pages in the pdf file were kinda blurry) But I'm going to read the whole thing once I get my hands on the actual book). My boyfriend was aware of gravity falls existence before and had seen a few episodes, but wasn't really in the fandom like I was growing up. (I made him watch it with me after we started dating though and he liked it).

I had so much fun and got really into character while reading out loud. I even noticed a couple things that seemed like they could be references to some things that happened in the fandom back in the day, and had to stop reading just to explain them to him lol (I'm so happy to have found someone who would just sit there while I read almost the whole book to him lol and actually seems interested when I explain stuff to him). It was the most fun I'd had in a long time. And then a bit after I had finished the book, I got super emotional over it (I'll explain why at the end of the rant)

I've watched gravity falls since pretty much the beginning. My mother got us disney channel in 2012 and I still remember seeing the first trailers for gravity falls and being intrigued by it immediately. I also remember being super annoyed by episode two because sometimes if felt like it was the only episode they aired lol. Even now when rewatching the series, I still skip it because I got so bord of it as a kid lol. My boyfriend and I share this sentiment and also skipped the episode when we watched gravity falls together. He didn't really watch the show as much in the long run, but even he remembers that episode being shown over an over again and it getting really boring lol.

At one point I started watching the series from online, because it felt like the fastest way to see new episodes (every time I watched disney channel it always seemed to be the same episodes over an over again). I mostly watched them from youtube with bad quality, but I wasn't really aware of other sites to watch it from. I still remember the moment I saw dreamscapers for the first time, because I almost screamed when bill was finally revealed, after wondering about the zodiac wheel image for too long. the quality was horrible, because I was watching it in the middle of the night from my tiny phonescreen, but that moment has stayed in my memory clearly through all these years. Eventually my mom got rid of disney channel (sometime after season 1 ended), which meant I had no choise but to pirate it. It's actually a huge reason why I finally learned english, since obviously the pirate sites and youtube uploads obviously didn't have subtitles in my language. I stayed up so many nights just watching the episodes and at one point always had Sock Opera playing in the background when i finally went to sleep. some of my favorite Christmas presents to this day were a gravity falls necklace and a pillowcase (both had the bill cipher zodiac wheel image on them). I wore that necklace every day and even when i slept for so long, until it broke. the pendant itself fell somewhere and I never found it again. I still have the pillowcase though, and I actually have it on my pillow rn lol. I even felted a bill cipher out of wool at some point (pretty sure I still have that somewhere too).

At that point some of my classmates had started bullying me for liking the show. Well looking back on it I'm pretty sure they had tried bullying me before too, but I never really realized it so it didn't affect me. But since gravity falls was suddenly really important to me, now they could use it against me. It was mostly just them insulting the show and characters in different ways to my face, which as an adult doesn't sound as bad, but to me the show meant everything and they were clearly saying those things to me, because they knew it affected me. But if there's something I'm proud of my younger self for, it's that I never let it affect my love for the show itself, and I never started hiding how much the show meant to me.

I ordered myself journal 3 after I had already moved out. I hadn't really engaged with the series or the fandom in a long time, but the moment I finally held that book in my hands, I felt so much joy. I wanted that book so bad when it first came out, and that moment made my inner child cry of happiness.

And that's kind of what I felt after I finished reading the book of bill today. I really feel like it healed some part of my inner child/teenager. Especially when my boyfriend let me read it to him out loud and I could just get into character while reading. Even though I to get bullied a lot for something that meant the world to me, I can now still enjoy that thing, and even share it with someone who will just sit and listen for like two hours while I read the book to him, and also listen to my side tangents if I something reminds me of some random thing that happened in the fandom (that he wasn't even a part of) back in the day.

There's been multiple shows and franchises I've been obsessed with during my life, but only two have stuck with me in this way through the years. One being Gravity Falls (and the other one fruits basket).

I just feel so grateful rn. Grateful for Alex Hirsch for creating the show in the first place. Grateful for my younger self for continuing to the series even if I got bullied for it. Grateful for my boyfriend for being such an amazing partner. If you read this far, thank you for reading my sleep deprived ramblings lol (it's like 5am so sorry if I repeat some stuff multiple times).

[fixfoxnox]

Something In the Orange - Part 6

Summary: Roach and Price's mission in Russia goes wrong

Warnings: Canon-typical violence, graphic depictions of violence, implied/referenced child abuse

Note: I am also uploading this fic to my Ao3 if you would prefer to read it there!

Word Count: 6.5k

"Said this life took most of you, gave you twice and the day was through

You said it all turned out awfully fair

So tell me tales of all the times and all the seasons you got by

Breathin' in that cold November air"

"November Air" - Zach Bryan

“This is going well!” Came the joking call from Price as he shoved himself into the driver's side of the truck he and Roach had taken cover by. He made sure to stay low to avoid any of the bullets that sprayed towards him. 

Roach covered him as he started the truck, using the door of the passenger side as a barrier between him and the small army of men who were slowly overwhelming himself and Price. He delivered several quick shots around the door, taking out several men. “I would not call this well!” He responded after a moment, a hiss leaving his lips as he felt a bullet graze past his face. 

Intercepting the shipment had been fairly easy. Using snipers, the two had taken out several men that were guarding their path to the weapons deal. Roach felt that the two had been crawling in the high grass for hours by the time they’d actually made it close enough to see where the deal was happening. At that point, it was a waiting game. 

Before they could strike, they would have to wait for Makarov’s men to show up with the weapons, get confirmation on the weapons, and get confirmation that it was Al Quatala that Makarov was trading with. It had been fairly easy to identify the Al Quatala members, so their first check was done. 

When a large truck packed to the brim with wooden boxes made its appearance at the meeting area, both Price and Roach knew that their time had come to check off the last two things on their list. 

They’d used the various trucks as cover, crawling under the vehicles when they could, but ducking behind them when it wasn’t safe for them to be underfoot. They’d nearly been caught numerous times, Price had been forced to shoot a few men who had come around a corner at the wrong time, and Roach couldn’t remember the number of men he’d stabbed with his knife. They rolled the men’s bodies under the vehicles to keep them hidden. 

Once they’d made it close enough to the truck, they simply ducked down and watched the weapons exchange. When one of the boxes from the truck was opened to reveal several different types of weapons, Price had determined it was time for the two of them to act. 

Unfortunately, there was no real way for the two to stealthily steal a truck full of weapons, so it was no surprise to either of them that they were spotted practically as soon as they got within a few feet of the truck.

All hell broke loose and the two were forced to quickly kill the men around the truck as they began taking fire. Price had volunteered to drive the vehicle as Roach was the quicker shot, which was exactly how they found themselves trying to dodge bullets as Price hotwired the truck. 

Roach ran out of bullets on his semi-automatic weapon fairly quickly, cursing to himself as he was forced to switch to his handgun. He could pull his sniper back out, but the weapon wasn’t meant for close combat and would likely only cause more issues than it was worth. 

Just as Roach began to move to his last clip for his gun, he heard the truck next to him roar to life. Price had finally managed to get the truck started and with a slam of the driver-side door, Roach knew it was time to go. 

 He gave himself a quick countdown before slamming his cover, the passenger side door, closed and making a quick jump over the edge of the bed of the truck. He kept himself low in the bed of the truck and, as bullets dinged the metal of the truck, he loaded his last clip into his handgun. He popped up to land several shots on men who had made it uncomfortably close to the truck before calling to Price, “Go! Get us the hell out of here!” 

Price slammed the gas, the truck taking off quick enough that Roach slammed painfully against the edge of the truck he’d been using as cover, the air knocked from his lungs. He took a moment to gather himself, his eyes closed and his breathing heavy as the truck pulled onto a highway and began weaving through traffic. 

Though they had a headstart on the rest of Makarov’s men, they were also lugging around an extremely heavy load of weaponry, meaning that it didn’t take long for the men to catch up with them. Though Roach was an excellent shot, he knew that the movement of the vehicle would throw him off enough that, with only his own gunfire, the men were sure to catch up to the truck and overtake them. 

With that in mind, Roach tore open one of the boxes in the vehicle, ignoring the sounds of gunfire beginning again in favor of looking through the weapons to find something useful. He decided rather quickly on an SMG. With his aim being stunted by the movement of the truck, the high rate of fire on the weapon was sure to provide him with a better chance of hitting the men chasing them.

After loading the weapon and waiting for a lull in the gunfire, Roach popped up from his cover in the truck and began spraying at the closest enemy vehicle he could see. He didn’t bother aiming at the piles of men in the backs of the trucks, instead focusing his fire on the driver. 

It was certainly a challenge to try to keep his balance and accurately shoot at someone, but he was more than pleased when, after a few tries, he saw the driver of the closest vehicle slump over, his body jerking the vehicle to the right and causing it to flip over on its side. He was even more pleased when he saw another one of the enemy vehicles run into the one that had just crashed. 

He continued this way for some time, aiming for the driver of any vehicle that got close enough to him. Despite the difficulties, he was doing a fairly good job at keeping back any of the men that were following himself and Price. At least he was until his gun ran out of ammo. 

He immediately started digging through another box, searching for a weapon as best as he could with renewed gunfire aimed at him. It was while desperately digging through one of the boxes that he noticed two of the enemy vehicles moving up and around to the side of the truck he and Price were in. One glance at the road ahead of him told him exactly what the men were going to try and do. 

“Price,” he called desperately, “They’re going to take out the bridge!” A moment later and he spotted the RPGs. 

“Can you take them out?” Price responded with a yell. 

“Not in time,” Roach said, “I don’t have a weapon and they’ve already got their shots lined up!”

“Alright, we’ll just have to use it to our advantage. Get in the cab, Roach.”

Roach had no idea what Price’s plan was, but he followed the order, climbing around the side of the truck to force himself into the passenger seat, his grip tight on the vehicle as he moved. He did not want to be a splat on the pavement, and with the speed of the truck and gunfire still ringing out, he was sure he was going to be. After a few tries, he managed to fully sling the door to the passenger side open, quickly maneuvering himself into the passenger seat and letting the door slam shut behind him. He took several deep breaths before looking at Price, “What’s the plan?”

“We’re driving the truck off the bridge.”

“What?” Roach felt his heart drop into his stomach. He was sure Price had fully lost his mind to come up with such a plan.

Rather than respond, Price pulled something from his waist and handed it to Roach, “It’s a grapple,” Price explained, “Aim it at the top of the bridge and use the truck’s momentum to swing yourself across.”

“You have to be kiddin-” Roach didn’t get to fully express his concerns, the bridge in front of them exploding and leaving both Roach and Price only a few seconds to react and jump out of the vehicle before it would race over the ledge.

Price reacted first, kicking his door open and aiming the small device toward the top of the bridge. Roach, cursing everything that had led him to this moment, tried to do the same. As he reached out the door to aim his device, he felt a searing pain in his arm, his hand dropping the device on instinct. 

One of the men on the other trucks had landed a lucky shot with a spray of bullets and Roach found himself still in the truck with no way out. His luck was once again leading him toward death. 

The truck grew closer and closer to the now-exploded bridge, hitting rubble as it went and knocking Roach painfully around the cab of the truck. He was surprised the vehicle hadn’t tipped over with the way it was jolting dangerously to the side. He didn’t have many options left and, with the truck nearing the drop-off, he acted on instinct. 

Roach kicked the door to the truck open and, with one last curse to his luck, he tucked into himself and rolled out of the vehicle. He could hear the truck as it slammed into the other side of the bridge and began falling into the water below, but he couldn’t focus on that as his body rolled and skidded painfully across the road. He was still carrying the momentum from the truck and he couldn’t control his movements, so he continued to slide, the pavement biting harshly into the skin of his arms, palms, and stomach as he tried to right himself. Pieces of his gear were lost in the process, leaving little to no barrier between the road and skin. Roach tried to slow himself down, pressing his feet to the ground in front of him in an effort to stop. That only succeeded in sending him jolting forward to knock his face against a piece of debris in his route. He only just managed to blink the black dots from his eyes as his body skidded off of the edge of the bridge. 

He managed to catch himself with his injured arm, a small scream leaving his lips as his body weight pulled painfully on his shoulder, resulting in a sickening popping noise. With the pain in his shoulder and the bullet wound to his forearm, he felt his grip slipping. He only barely managed to switch hands before his grip gave out. 

With pain coursing through his body, he knew there was no way that he’d be able to pull himself up onto the bridge, still, he tried. As he began pulling himself upwards with his one arm several pieces of the bridge above him began shifting, and soon his body was jolting down for several feet before catching suddenly. He realized quickly that if he kept trying to move, he was sure to end up falling the forty feet to the water below him. 

“Roach!” Roach turned as well as he could, spotting Captain Price, the man sporting several scrapes himself, standing safely on the other side of the bridge. Roach couldn’t help but feel relieved that the man had at least made it safely across. 

“Captain, I-” Roach stopped suddenly, his grip sliding once again as the bridge above him shifted. He could hear several vehicles that had stopped above him and he was sure, despite the impossibility, that his heart picked up speed. 

He could see the way that Price’s face paled even from his hanging position. A horrified look came over the man's face but was quickly wiped away in favor of his usual mask of calm. Roach knew that it was more for his sake than Price’s. “Hold on, I’m going to come and get you!” 

He watched Price pull his weapon and begin moving toward the edge of the bridge. He was stopped and forced to take cover behind some of the rubble as gunfire began hitting around his feet. Roach realized at that moment how dangerous the situation he found himself in was, and how unlikely he was to come out of it alive.

Roach could hear Captain Price yelling for him as he returned fire, still trying to figure out how to get him out of the situation that he’d found himself in. There was a moment where Roach considered trying to pull himself up from the bridge again to at least give himself a chance of survival, but that moment disappeared when a shadow fell over him. Looking up, he was met with the barrel of a gun as one of Makarov’s men stared down at him. 

Roach had a split second to make a decision. Take a bullet and die, or take the drop and the slim chance of survival it brought. He didn’t really have to think about which to choose. 

Within a second, he let his grip go slack, falling back towards the river below pieces of debris following after.. Above him, he could hear Price screaming his name, but soon that faded away as the wind rushed by his ears, and only a moment later and he was plunging into the cold water of the river below.

Roach remembered all the lessons that he’d gotten from his father as a child. His father in this life had always been much kinder than his father in his first life, but there were certain things that Roach knew he wouldn’t have made it out of if it hadn’t been for his father in his first life. 

The man had been harsh and uncaring, but he’d taught Roach a lot. One such instance occurred when he was only eight. The man had woken him up at an ungodly hour of the morning and dragged him outside to his truck. He hadn’t been sure where his dad was taking him until they began pulling down a long dirt road. 

The road was one Roach had walked often as a child, especially during the summer. It was the path to a small swimming hole that people in his town used during the hotter parts of the year for a sort of quick day of fun. It was part of a larger connecting river that was underneath a busy bridge that connected to the highway, in a way, the rushing of the cars from the road above had always added to the charm of the small area. Typically when Roach went, it was by himself and during the summer. Now, he was with his father and it was closer to the middle of winter.

Living in the south meant that though there was no snow on the ground, the water was practically freezing. The water that day was particularly cold, in part because of the harsh wind that was blowing and the thunderstorm that had come through the previous day. 

“What are we doing,” Roach had asked hesitantly, eying the rapidly moving river as his father pulled to a stop in front of it. Naturally, it was only the two of them there, in the truck, in the middle of the woods. Roach wondered if his father planned to kill him. 

“Get out of the truck.” 

Roach did as he was told, hesitantly following his father down towards the bank of the river, the water was much higher than he was used to. “What are we doing,” he asked again. 

“Do you know what to do if you ever find yourself in a river like this?” Roach said nothing, “Answer me, boy.”

Roach recognized that tone, “No sir.”

“You wouldn’t,” his dad said, “Your mother and I spoil you too much for that.” Roach thought that wasn’t true, but he didn’t know enough to argue, or perhaps he already knew better than to do that. “If you get caught in a river like this, the first thing to do is get your head above water. You gotta stay calm otherwise you’ll panic and drown yourself. Repeat it.”

“Stay calm,” Roach muttered, “Get your head above water.”

“Good,” his dad motioned him closer to the river, Roach hesitantly obeyed. “Once you’ve done that, you need to pick your feet up. Do you know why?”

“To help you float?” Roach guessed. 

His father smacked the back of his head harshly, “To float? No. You keep your feet up so you don’t get caught on anything. If you get caught, you’re as good as gone.”

“Feet up so you don’t get caught on anything,” Roach repeated, already knowing that if he didn’t he’d likely get another smack. 

“Good. Now, you see the way the waters flowing boy?” He nodded, “Show me the direction.” Roach made a motion with his hands, the only way he knew how to show his father. “That's good. Once you’re in the river you’ll need to figure out the way the waters going and which side you want to come out on. Once you do that,” his father took his hands, moving them to make an angle, “You find this angle, right, with your head in the direction you want to go, and you start swimming against the current.” 

“Swim against the current?”

“If you do it right, the river will push you towards the side you want to go. You do that till you get to a shallow area or can get yourself out of the river.” His father stood back up then, crossing his arms and staring down at him. “Repeat everything back to me.”

“Stay calm, get your head above water. Get your feet up so you don’t get caught on anything. Figure out which way the water is flowing and what side you want out on. Find the angle,” Roach showed the angle with his hands, “And swim against the current until you reach shallow water or can get out of the river.”

His father nodded, “Good job. Do you think you could do it?” Roach responded with a hesitant nod, hoping that his father would take him home finally. “We’ll see.”

His father shoved him into the rushing river, Roach, still a child, was easily swept away by the current. He’d struggled for a moment, water entering his mouth and lungs as he tried to get his head above water. He felt panic rushing through his system and his arms moved wildly as he tried to right himself. It took him gaining a slight breath from being above water before he remembered his father's words. 

His head came up first, his body still fighting against the current that threatened to pull him under. His feet came up next and he tried desperately to find the way the water was running and which side he would need to get out on, his body was pulled under several times before his panicked mind finally pushed him to start swimming at the angle his father had showed him. 

He wasn’t sure how long it took, his mind so focused on survival that he didn’t even notice the beginnings of the rising sun. When he finally managed to grab onto a branch at the edge of the river and pull himself to shore, he’d lost both of his shoes and was far from where he and his father had been moments earlier. 

With the water already cold and the wind blowing harshly, Roach was shivering practically the moment that he was out of the water. He remembered the last time his father had done something similar to him, that time dumping him in the woods by himself, he’d been forced to follow the river to find his way back into town. With that instance in mind, he quickly started following the river, trying to keep himself warm as he walked. By the time he’d arrived back at the swimming hole, the sun was higher in the sky providing him with flashes of warmth. It still wasn’t enough to stop his shaking. 

His father had already left in his truck, likely gone back home. All Roach found where his truck had been was a thin blanket, a small thought from the man, but one that he didn’t question as he wrapped himself up tightly and started down the dirt road. He knew his way home from the river. 

Despite the blanket and the sun, by the time Roach had made it back to his small house, his lips were blue and his fingers were burning and stinging. Neither of his parents had been waiting for him when he arrived home, so he decided that he’d skip school that day and instead spent the entire day in his room, wrapped in every available blanket he could find. 

When Roach found himself still conscious but quickly swept away by the river, he was much calmer this time. He was no longer an eight-year-old who’d been shoved into a rushing river by his father. Now, he was a man with two lives under his belt and experience that made this almost a cake walk.

Pushing himself above water and lifting his feet was easy, swimming against the current was tiring, but also easy. It was pulling himself onto shore that proved to be difficult. His body lit up in pain as he pulled and he knew that with his gear being completely soaked through, he was likely also pulling close to an extra fifty or so pounds as well. He made the choice to abandon what gear he could into the river to make it easier for him to pull himself to shore. 

After taking several moments to catch his breath and cough up any water that had entered his lungs, he’d stood shakily to his feet to begin observing his surroundings. He realized from the surrounding area that he’d likely been swept miles from the bridge by the river. He knew that Price was likely already at the extraction zone and, with his injuries and distance from the area, he likely wasn’t going to make it in time. So that left him with a few options. 

He could head into the nearest town, but the area was crawling with Makarov’s men and the likelihood of him making it out alive with no weapon was relatively low. The other option was the safe house. 

Before each mission, the 141 were expected to go over any safe houses in the area they were being shipped out to. Most locations had at least one within thirty miles of the nearest town, and this one was no different. Though Roach wasn’t sure where he was, he did know what direction he’d been swept in and could make a decent guess on which way to go. 

He decided he would head in the direction of the nearby town, but rather than entering he would stay around the outskirts of the town and use it as a marker to guide his way to the safe house. It would be a long walk, and with his body aching and still bleeding and the cold air making him shiver, he knew he would have to be quick unless he wanted to find himself collapsing from hypothermia. If he didn’t make it to the safe house by nightfall, he wasn’t sure if he’d make it to the next morning.

The walk was something reminiscent of his childhood in his first life, reminding him sharply of the several times he’d been forced to walk home through the woods, whether to avoid bullies chasing him down or because one of his parents had dumped him somewhere to walk back as a “learning moment.”

It made him even more grateful for how amazing his parents in this life were. They would never have dreamed of doing something like that to him. Even now, when he hadn’t been home in nearly three years, his parents made all of the effort in the world to stay in touch with him and hear from him. They sent him carepackages and, whenever they could, would try to come out to base to see him around his birthday. If they couldn’t make it to base, you could bet he’d get an hour-long video call of his mother gushing over him followed by the largest care package he’d ever seen in his life the following week. 

His parents cared. He missed them. As he walked, dodging through the trees, he promised himself that he would make an effort to visit home when he got back from this mission. Distantly he remembered that his birthday was coming up and he wondered if that wouldn’t be the perfect time to drop in with a surprise visit to his parents.

He couldn’t worry about that now, instead he had to focus on forcing himself to move and trying to keep himself warm, though his soaked through clothes and the cold Russian air made it quite hard for him. 

By the time Roach made it back to the small town, the sun was setting in the distance. He could hear the commotion of sirens coming from the direction of the bridge, but he paid it no mind, instead following along the edge of the town until he reached his marker, a rather large catholic church. From the church, he turned east, walking away from the town and into the dark. He didn’t have anything to light his way, only using the moon to make sure that he was still following the right path. He wasn’t sure how long he walked after that, but as he continued and the night grew darker, he began to feel less and less sure of his ability to survive the night. 

By the time the safehouse came into his view, he was sure he was going to collapse from exhaustion, the cold, or a mix of both. 

Roach ignored the front door, remembering words about how it had been trapped for safety, and instead he stumbled around the building until he found a small hatch that would lead into the cellar. Pulling the doors open proved to be quite difficult with his fingers stiff and cold and his arm screaming in pain, but after a moment he managed to get it open. He carefully began down the steps into the dark and cold cellar and closed the door behind him, sliding in the lock from the inside. 

The inside of the house was pitch black, forcing Roach to follow allong the wall until he finally found the stairs up to the actual house. After stumbling around in the dark for several minutes, he finally managed to find a light switch and flip it on. The light was dim, and he knew he wouldn’t want to keep it on for long, but it allowed him to get his bearings. 

The house was small, with only one floor and the cellar. There was a small chimney in the living room. While enticing, Roach knew that for safety purposes he couldn’t use it. The kitchen was equally small, but opening the cabinets told him that it had been packed with a number of non-perishable foods and other necessities.

Roach stumbled fully into the living room then, noting the single couch and the lack of decoration everywhere else. He moved back into the tiny hallway that he’d emerged from the cellar into and checked the bathroom. Opening the cabinets in the room sent relief flooding to his system. Several different medical supplies were stashed in the cabinets. He grabbed what he would need to patch up his arm and the several areas of road rash he knew he had. 

From there he opened the small closet in the building, pulling out all of the blankets he saw as well as a few towels and washcloths to help him clean his face and wounds. The one thing that was missing was a communicator, though he was sure that it was likely somewhere in the kitchen. He still hadn’t checked all of the cabinets in the room. 

So, Roach stumbled back into the kitchen, setting his supplies down on the kitchen table and quickly ditching his still slightly damp shirt and jacket to assess his wounds. 

His arm that had been shot wasn’t nearly as bad as he’d expected, the bullet only cutting through the side of his arm rather than piercing the middle. Essentially, he’d only been grazed. His shoulder was another deal entirely. When he’d nearly fallen from the bridge and caught himself, his shoulder had rather unnaturally taken all of the weight of his body and his momentum. He’d then ignored its screaming pain to swim to shore from the river. Now that it had several hours with minimal movement, it burned any time he slightly moved it. His shoulder had swelled up as well, going an angry red color. He noted the boxiness of his shoulder as well as the small, but noticeable bump that had formed under the skin. He’d likely dislocated the thing during the fall. With a sigh, he then moved his attention to the road rash near his stomach and across his arms and hands. It wasn’t too terrible, at least not compared to what he’d seen before. The worst of it was his arm that hadn’t been shot, his forearm covered with dried blood and several small rocks embedded into it. He couldn’t see the full extent of the damage until he’d cleaned it, but he assumed that since he couldn’t see bone it was mostly fine.

He decided his safest bet would be to clean up his wounds as best as he could, then wrap them up. He wasn’t a doctor and he didn’t want to risk fucking himself up further than he already was, so it seemed like his safest bet. He’d let the professionals back on base deal with it once he’d returned. 

So, still freezing, he gathered warm water in the first bowl that he could, using one of the washcloths to gently wipe away the first layer of grime on all of his wounds. From there he moved in with a large amount of rubbing alcohol, hissing at both the sting of it on his wounds and the movement from his arm. It was slow going, any sudden movements taking the breath out of him. The slowest part was trying to get the gravel out of his various injuries, but he knew it was necessary. 

Once he’d finished that and left a bowl of bloody water, a pile of small pieces of gravel, and a stack of bloody wipes, he was finally able to wrap his wounds, his hands shaking slightly as he did so. He didn’t bother putting his shirt or jacket back on, deciding that it would be better to just wrap himself up in a blanket rather than put back on his freezing and still damp clothing. 

He ignored the mess he’d made on the table and set to work looking through the cabinets in the kitchen. While he didn’t find a communicator, he did find a code for a safe which sent him on a whole other hunt of looking behind pictures and carefully tapping on floorboards until he finally found the safe hidden behind a painting in the hallway. 

To his immense relief, the safe had both a communicator and a small pistol with ammo inside waiting. He took the pistol first, tucking it into his holster that had been empty since the river. He took the communicator then, sticking the plug in his ear before switching the comm over to the first secure channel he could find. He’d been told to use the first in case of emergencies. 

“Roach to Bravo 6, I repeat, Roach to Bravo 6. Price, Laswell, literally anyone, it’s Roach. Give me some sort of signal that you can hear me.” He paused waiting with bated breath before there was a crackle and he heard the concerned voice of Laswell on the line. 

“Roach? This is Lawell. Are you okay?”

Roach gave a sigh of relief before letting a small chuckle leave his lips, “I’m in one piece, I’m at the safehouse outside of town. Requesting immediate extraction.”

“We’ll get someone to you as soon as we can,” Laswell said, relief clear in her voice at hearing that Roach was okay, “Make sure you stay warm and keep the lights out as much as possible, I’ll radio and let you know when your extraction is getting close. You let me know if anything happens.”

“Copy,” Roach said moving into the kitchen to flick the light off and plunge himself back into darkness, “Laswell…did Price make it?”

“Price is okay, well mostly okay. He thinks you’re dead,” she paused for a second as though hesitating, “He’s blaming himself.

Roach shook his head, “It’s not his fault. Please go tell him and the rest of the team that I’m okay.”

“I should stay on the line.”

“Then take the line with you,” Roach said, “Or send someone to tell them. I’d hate for them to tell my parents I’m dead when I’m just fine.”

Laswell gave a chuckle at that, “Alright, sit tight. I’ll be back asap.”

“We’ve got to go find him,” Soap practically shouted. It was the third time he’d said it in the last ten minutes. He’d been pacing around the room since the moment Price shared the news with them. 

“He fell forty feet into a raging river,” Price said, his head in his hands. It was never easy to lose a soldier, and this was no different. He’d nearly collapsed when he’d made it onto the plane at the LZ, his entire body filled with grief at seeing Roach fall to his death. 

“He could have made it!” Soap insisted, “He got his name for a reason.”

Gaz had been trying to calm Soap down, his hands shaking as he tried to push down his emotions and stay strong for the team. Ghost hadn’t moved or said anything since he heard the news, his eyes watching straight ahead as he tried to process what Price had shared with the team. Roach? Dead? It didn’t seem right. 

“Soap, please sit down,” Gaz tried once again. 

“I can’t sit down!” Soap yelled, “How am I supposed to sit down, how am I supposed to be calm when Roach is somewhere in Russia probably hurt and freezing!” Soap slammed his hands down on the table, “We’ve got to do something.” 

“Laswell is connecting with Russian authorities,” Price said, “They’re going to watch the river and see if a body turns up.”

“There won’t be a body!” Soap insisted, “Roach isn’t dead. Stop saying he’s dead!” Soap looked wildly between the three people in the room, each of them avoiding his gaze before finally, he collapsed back into his seat, his hands coming to cover his face. 

The room was quiet for a moment, each of the members of the 141 trying to handle their emotions without sending the others into a spiral. It was like if any of them said anything, if any of them showed their grief, it would be that much more real. 

The door to the room was slammed open a few minutes after the silence had begun, Laswell looking around the room at the men who’d been brought to their knees at the believed death of their friend. She didn’t bother with a lead-up, instead proclaiming, “Roach is alive. He just got in contact with me from the safe house, the extraction team is getting ready to go retrieve him.” 

Chaos erupted in the room.

“Roach?” 

Roach jerked slightly from where his head had begun tilting to the side, sleep trying to take over his senses. He let out a grunt as he pushed himself back up from where he’d slumped over. “Laswell,” he responded, his voice groggy.

Laswell let out another sigh of relief, she’d done that nearly every time she checked in on him, as though she was still surprised to hear that he was alive. “The extraction team should be landing within the next ten minutes.”

“Good to hear,” Roach said with a yawn, “I need a burger and a twenty-four hour nap.”

Laswell chuckled, “I’ll make sure you get it.”

Roach could hear the noises of his extraction outside so he forced himself up from the floor, still wrapped in a blanket, and headed down the hall and back into the cellar. He made sure to peek out of the cellar first, waiting for the plane to fully land before unlocking it and making his way out of the building. A sense of relief overtook him as he stumbled towards the plane, the back of it slowly coming down to welcome him. 

As soon as the back of the plane was fully down, Roach, carefully making his way towards it, was rushed by the entirety of the 141, surprise taking him over as Soap wrapped him up in a bear hug. To his surprise Ghost joined the hug a moment later. He was sure his entire face was red, but he was willing to ignore that and the pain in his body to enjoy the body heat from the two for a moment. 

Finally, though, his pain caught up with him, “Guys, I’m excited to see you too and we can definitely return to this hug later, but my arm is on fire.”

Soap and Ghost were quick to move off of him after, each taking to one side of him and walking carefully with him. They were almost like bodyguards in the way they were hovering over him. 

Gaz and Price had also come with the extraction team, though they were waiting far more patiently at the plane, both with their weapons ready as though expecting an attack. It was only when Roach got closer that they moved forward, Gaz pulling Roach into a short but obviously meaningful hug and Price tugging roach forward to delicately wrap his arms around him. The hug lasted only a second but was followed by a quick and affectionate hair ruffle from Price before the entire squad was moving into the plane. 

Roach gave a sigh of relief as he sat down and strapped into the plane. He tightened the blanket around him tighter, all the while noting the way the 141 seemed to sit around him as though they were his bodyguards, all on edge. “Guys, you can calm down. I’m alive and aside from maybe a dislocated shoulder and some road rash, I’m completely fine.” 

“We’ll see what the medics say,” Came the response from Gaz, the man giving Roach a brief flash of a smile. 

Roach let out a huff of annoyance, though, rather than annoyance he only felt fondness.

Prev: Part 5

Next: Part 7 - Coming Soon