#been meaning to finish the Y/N reference and now i can finally rest

[squinch-depraved]

I was watching a chuckle sammy episode today and there was a part where Schlatt said he would hire a hot secretary just to keep him company. I'd love a story about that if you're willing.

The episode is the zodiac one the part I'm referring to is exactly 1 hour in.

this is reallllly yummy i hope i did it justice for you

it was supposed to be just a joke. just a bit for the podcast, a few sentences about hiring an attractive secretary and nothing more. but they stuck in schlatt's mind and hung heavy over him for the rest of that night. he really was lonely. and ted had a point, hiring someone to just be around (and look pretty) was looking like a better and better idea every second. so he finished off his bottle of benedictine, not that there was much left, and tossed it to the side, stretching out further on the couch while he pulled out his phone and set to work searching for an assistant.

it wasn't long before ted heard about his search, and the two men bantered in a call for a few minutes about it before the older of the two stopped his jokes to suggest, "no, but for real though, i have a friend who just moved back to new york, you might remember her, she was on the set for this past chuckle week helping in the background. y/n?"

schlatt's pupils dilated and he took in a breath. "yeah, i remember her," he replied coolly. "thought she was in school though?" he played with something on his desk.

ted lit up. "yeah, she's studying, but i'm sure she'd be willing to work something out with you." his voice was laced with knowing. he had seen the way schlatt sized you up the first time he laid eyes on you, the way he could never meet your gaze and how he always looked to you first when he made a joke. "i'll send you her info, you should reach out, man. she'll be happy to hear from you."

that last line was the only reason schlatt did it. he cursed himself for letting ted convince him now that you were here in front of him. you had been invited to a coffee shop to discuss the job details, and when you finally showed up, he looked incredibly uncomfortable sitting at a small table. but you sat down in front of him, smiling up at him and pushing your glasses up on your nose.

"hi schlatt!" you greeted him, reaching out to shake his hand. he gripped you a bit too hard and grimaced when you made a small noise, shaking your hand out when he let go. "thank you so much for the opportunity, i was really worried i wouldn't be able to find a good job for a while with my school going on and everything."

he nodded hastily and pushed a pastry he ordered for you towards you on the table. you smiled and yanked it towards you, beginning to eat as he spoke. "basically, i just need you to get any random tasks i need done, done. just, paperwork, if there ever is any, usually it's all digital, uhh, anything that slips through the cracks. i just need someone to be there and make sure my shit is taken care of."

you raised a brow. "sounds like you need more than an assistant," you responded with a smirk. his face reddened and he looked away, trying to shove down the thoughts of why you were really here. you were making a joke, but it wasn't funny to him. not when you didn't know you were right.

"shit, i'm sorry schlatt, i didn't mean to insult you-"

"'s fine. not insulted. i need you in the office whenever i'm there, sometimes i get work done at my apartment, so here's a key to both. feel free to get your own shit done whenever you're working unless i need you doing something. pay's fifty an hour. can you start today?" he slaps two keys down onto the table as well as two addresses written down on a half-crumpled napkin. you stare up at him in shock before snatching the keys and paper.

"fifty bucks an hour???" you whisper-screamed at him before the startled look on his face pulled you back into reality. "what about this job is worth paying me that much? i'm accepting it, no takesies backsies, but why so much, schlatt?" you tilted your head at him as you asked.

he scrambled for an answer to your question that wasn't "i want to spoil you until you can't think of anything else in the world you want," but when he opened his mouth to talk, nothing came out. you sighed and answered his previous question instead.

"yeah, i can start today. let's go ahead and get to work, boss," you said, standing up and collecting all your school stuff you brought in with you. "take me somewhere i can dump my stuff!"

weeks passed, you fell into rhythm with his fucked up schedule easily, quickly learning when to fetch him more caffeine and when to take away his alcohol. you kept him organized, boosting his productivity and helping him with almost anything he needed. you learned a few days in the fifty an hour was for no good reason other than maybe ted had told him you were struggling to pay for school (he hadn't) because most of your job was sitting at another desk, sometimes in the same room, sometimes separated by walls, parallel playing with schlatt as he filmed or streamed or edited or did whatever he needed to do while you worked on schoolwork or a fun hobby you were into. you were being paid to do minimal office work, study and relax, and best of all, care for your hot boss. he loved when you called him that, boss, it always made his cock twitch and his brain flood with thoughts of you under him.

the worst part of the job was how attracted you were to him. it made doting on him inevitable when your whole source of income was reliant on you making sure he was "taken care of." he noticed you acting more lovingly for the first time when you brought a water bottle to his desk while he was editing and massaged the back of his shoulders before mumbling, "you need to take a break and stretch soon," and leaving the room. he was stunned, skin burning under his sweater where you touched him. secretaries don't do that. he quickly opened up his messages with ted and began typing.

"dude. i fucked up. shouldn't have hired y/n. help." every sentence was a different message. moment later, ted eased the pounding of schlatt's heart a bit by replying.

"what happened??"

schlatt typed quickly. "she massaged my shoulders idk man i can't think around her"

"oh dear heavens, the damn harlot massaged you?"

schlatt didn't dignify that with a response. a few moment later, ted typed again.

"she's really into you dude, you should go for it. i promise she's not the type to sue you if it doesn't work out"

his main fear erased, he closed the chat and got off the computer, heading to find you in his apartment kitchen, going over the schedule for the days to come. music played from a speaker on the counter, and you paused it when you saw him come out.

"sorry, was it too loud?" you asked, looking up at him.

"nah," he shook his head. "you've been workin' for me for a few months now, y/n," he began.

you started shaking your head, backing up into his fridge. "schlatt, please, no, i need this job," you started to babble.

"shhh, nonono, not that at all, doll," he assured you, gliding across the floor to caress your cheek. the pet name made your stomach turn as you let him cup your face. "was gonna say somethin' else."

"what is it, then, boss?" you batted your lashes at him. he inhaled sharply and kissed you, absorbing the high pitched moan you let out. when he pulled away, you flicked your eyes down from his to his mouth and back up to meet his gaze before pulling him back in.

he tasted like whiskey, and he growled against your neck when you slid your hands under his shirt. "hired you just to keep me company but i can't keep my hands off you, doll." the nickname made you nervous for the second time that night.

"then don't keep 'em off me," you panted, puling your shirt off over your head and adjusting your skewed glasses. he drinks you in, inhaling the scent of your perfume (that you recently had to buy another of because he stole your first bottle to smell while he pumped his thick cock in his hand whenever you were gone). after a moment, he peeled your leggings off and picked you up, setting you down on the counter before he kneeled between your legs and looked up at you for permission to begin tasting you. you nodded, running your fingers through his brown curls while he started to lick and kiss at your cunt. much to his enjoyment, you didn't hold back your noises, letting your moans and cries bounce off the echoey walls of his apartment.

he slid a finger in you as he sang praises about how good you tasted for him, working his way up to two, and eventually three. you were crooning about how amazing he felt, knotting your fingers deeper into his hair and pulling it when you felt your high getting close, which made him moan directly onto your clit. you clenched your thighs around his head and ground down onto his face as he drew an orgasm from you.

once his face was thoroughly soaked with your juices, he pulled away and came up to kiss you for a bit before pulling you off the counter and spinning you around.

"i promise i'll fuck you properly, in a bed, next time, i just gotta have you now, toots." he bent you over the counter and slid his pants down, stroking his length a few times before slowly pushing into you. you both moaned, adjusting to each other, and he started thrusting, gripping your hips fiercely as you shrieked and adjusted your glasses again, to no avail because you were being shaken and throttled like a toy.

"god, you're so good!!" you screeched, moaning further when he smacked your ass in response.

"fuck, you look so cute, bent over on my counter like that, lettin' me use you like the good little assistant you are," he snarled. you let out a guttural whine at how hot he sounded. "you're so good at assisting me, baby."

your knees began to buckle and he grabbed you tighter to help hold you up.

"almost there, toots, c'mon. doin' so good."

you cried out one more time and his pace quickened, growing unsteady as he got closer to finishing. he thrust forcefully a few more times before pulling out to come all over your back and ass.

quiet settled over the kitchen as you both panted, and you heard him quietly snap a picture of you with his seed all over you before he grabbed a paper towel and began to clean you up.

"sorry," he mumbled.

you shook you head and turned around to kiss him. "can i stay the night?" you asked him.

he nodded, relieved, and slipped his pants back on.

"can i get paid for it?" you looked at him with a sly expression, glasses smudged.

he laughed. "absolutely."

[ping-ski]

a proper EBY Y/N reference is here! thank god!! (i still have not slept)

obv one is more self indulgent, but this Y/N sheet is there for anyone wanting to draw their self inserts into the AU or prefers a general Y/N for art purposes! im sorry the notes are messy and kind of distracting

[junrenjun]

love and lacrosse jackets

pe teacher!vernon x chemistry teacher!reader (fem)

genre: fluff

wc: 3k

warnings: reader is referred to as ms. (and other fem pronouns), reader wears vernon's clothes

a/n: this is not an understand series update and i apologize for that. however, here's a vernon teacher au with a little side of lacrosse and dad!seungcheol

You were suddenly thrown out of your thoughts by one of your students sighing and turning from her worksheet. “Ms. y/n, can I ask a question?” 

You knew this student, Maya, was likely trying to get out of doing her assignment. She was too smart for her own good. “Depends. Is it about the worksheet?” 

She paused for a second, turning her head slightly away in order to avoid your gaze. “...no.”

You continued. “Do you need to go to the bathroom or the nurse?”

Maya sighed and mumbled, “no.”

You turned back to your computer while giving your final response. “Then I think you know the answer. I would be happy to talk to you once you’ve balanced all those equations.” 

You should’ve known she wasn’t giving up that easily. If anything, she probably gave up halfway through the worksheet because she knew the answers and was just looking for something to entertain herself. “Mr. Chwe lets us ask him questions all the time.”

You snorted. “Mr. Chwe is a PE teacher Maya. You don’t have worksheets to do in his classes. Unfortunately, you do in chemistry. So please finish this or at least study for your quiz next week.” 

Maya was apparently taken aback by this. She was quick to defend herself, saying, “how do you know we don’t do worksheets in PE?”

You resisted the urge to roll your eyes. Maybe you should've been a college professor instead of a high school teacher. “I’m the girls lacrosse coach and he’s the boys coach. We spend a lot of time together and I’ve never once seen him make a worksheet.” 

An evil grin spread across Maya’s face. You internally groaned at this. That expression means she’s up to absolutely no good. She turned and tapped on her partner’s arm. Great, now she’s distracting other students too. “Henry, wouldn’t Ms. y/n and Mr. Chwe make a cute couple?” He grinned and started going off on a tangent about how funny it would be if the two lacrosse coaches were dating. 

This conversation really took a turn for the worse, didn’t it? There’s nothing you could do but groan, out loud this time, and put your head in your hands. Your neighboring teacher, Mr. Seokmin, really has impeccable timing though. He stuck his head through your door and grabbed your attention a few moments later. “Hey Ms. y/n, do you have a student that can run an errand for me real quick?”

Now was your chance. “Maya, since you seem to have no interest in balancing any more equations, why don’t you go help Mr. Seokmin?”

Before she could protest, the physics teacher grinned brightly at her before exclaiming, “perfect! Come on Maya, I need someone to help me carry these projects to the library.” Once she was finally out of the room, you breathed a sigh of relief. 

It didn’t last long though because your other students suddenly started giggling and murmuring amongst each other. Henry, who was still turned toward you, decided he needed to continue Maya’s antics in her absence. “You did say you and Mr. Chwe were close.” More giggles were heard. 

You’re not sure what you did to deserve this treatment from your 3rd hour honors class of all people, but clearly it was something. “Alright if you all don’t go back to your work I’m not offering any extra credit on this next quiz.” The rest of the hour passed in silence. 

“What’s with the long face?” Vernon thought the joking would cheer his best player up, but it just made Henry frown even more. 

After a few moments of silence, he finally answered, “I had a quiz in chemistry today. Don’t think I did too well on it.”

Vernon was quick to ask him which teacher he had. “Your favorite, Ms. y/n,” Henry responded. 

The PE teacher rolled his eyes at the comment but still clapped his hand on the player’s shoulder. “You’ll be fine, kid. She offers extra credit. But she also told me you and Maya were pestering her the other day instead of doing your work, so maybe you should put a little more effort into understanding the material next time.”

Henry grumbled, knowing nothing good would come of an argument. “Yeah, whatever you say Coach.” Then, he dropped his bag on the ground and ran out onto the field to start warming up.

Vernon felt someone approach him from behind. “See dude, even the kids can pick up on you and y/n’s chemistry. Haha, get it? Chemistry? Y/n teaches chemistry.” The head coach could barely restrain himself from flicking Mingyu in the forehead. He was a great assistant coach, but an incredibly annoying friend. 

“Why can’t I just be friends with a coworker and fellow lacrosse coach?” Vernon complained. Mingyu simply watched on as his friend continued. “Just because we’re both single doesn’t mean we should get together. I mean she’s really cool and works really well with the kids. And she’s an insane lacrosse player, an even better coach too. I think she could get the girls to state this year. I just think…” He’s cut off by Mingyu smacking his arm. 

For once, he’s grateful for the assistant coach’s intrusion, because he turns around to find you jogging up to him. Weird, he thought to himself, since you and the girls have a game today. You skid to a stop next to the two, and make eye contact with him. “You don’t happen to have an extra SVHS shirt do you? I think I forgot my coaching shirt at home today and I really don’t want Seungcheol getting on my ass for it.” 

Vernon’s world comes crashing down at that moment. Maybe he does have a teensy little crush on you. Because the thought of you wearing his clothes has him swooning. Mingyu, ever so helpful, snaps him out of the moment by clearing his throat to yell at the boys for messing around. Vernon blinks at you for a second before stammering out, “uh yeah I think so,” and reaching into his bag. He pulls out a gray quarter zip with the words “SVHS” and “Coach Chwe” embroidered on the chest. He debates hiding it from your sight and shoving it back in his bag to save you both the embarrassment, but he knows how strict Seungcheol is as an athletic director. 

He eventually tosses it to you, stuttering out something about good luck while watching you throw it over your head. Once it’s on you say, “I have the same one, so hopefully no one sees the difference. Thanks Chwe.” He can’t even process your words because his brain is simply malfunctioning seeing you in his clothes, especially ones that say his name. He’s no better than his high schoolers. Before he knows it, you’re turning on your heel and jogging back to the main field. 

Someone comes up behind him, filling Mingyu’s absence, since the assistant coach ran off to lead practice drills in the middle of Vernon’s little crisis. He hears the lacrosse captain snickering and then telling him, “damn Coach, you’ve got it bad. You’re redder than a tomato.”

Vernon simply cannot handle it any further. “Oscar, for heaven’s sake, please shut your mouth and go back to practice.” Oscar throws his hands up in mock defense, before grabbing the ball that rolled over to Vernon’s feet and running back onto the field.

You really need to give Vernon his coach’s jacket back. It didn’t help that you weren’t a morning person, and seemed to accidentally leave it at home whenever you left for work each day. It also maybe didn’t help that it smelled just like the boy’s lacrosse coach, who, admittedly, smelled pretty damn good. But, you couldn’t hoard Vernon’s things forever. You were lucky enough that you had gone a week without him mentioning the jacket at all, which you chalked up to him knowing you were busy.

Tomorrow, you told yourself. Tomorrow you would take the jacket back to school and give it to him. You even laid it out with your own jacket, which you were going to wear the next since you had a game anyways. That, however, was a mistake. Because in the morning, groggy from lack of sleep, you accidentally threw on Vernon’s jacket and shoved your own into your work bag. 

How no one told you until 3rd period, you’re not quite sure. Mainly because Seokmin had specifically complimented your outfit when you visited him before your first class. You thought maybe it was because you were wearing a new pair of pants. Clearly it was not and the physics teacher was using it as a means to tease you (and Vernon by proxy). If only you had known.

Maya stepped into your classroom extra peppy that day, which was already a recipe for disaster. The fact that she was the one to catch that you were wearing Mr. Chwe’s zip-up certainly did not help. A gasped “oh my god” stopped you in the middle of your lecture. You pointedly looked at the girl before asking, “Maya, is everything alright?”

The poor girl could barely contain her excitement, practically shaking in her seat. “You’re dating Mr. Chwe! I knew it!”

You were caught so off-guard that it took you a while to respond. “Maya, where did you even get that idea from? And you’re being disruptive, I’m trying to teach about equilibrium.” 

She stood from her seat and pointed at you, before excitedly exclaiming, “your jacket. You’re wearing Mr. Chwe’s jacket!” You looked down and, sure enough, Vernon’s name was plastered across the chest. To put it plainly, you were mortified. In fact, you’re pretty sure you’ve embarrassed yourself even more when you don’t respond for a solid minute. 

Finally, when you’re done wallowing in pity in front of a bunch of 16 year olds, you make your way to your desk and pull out a hall pass. You hand it to Maya swiftly before telling her, “if you’re too invested in this to learn chemistry, go bother Mr. Chwe about it. It’s his planning period.” She gapes up at you before scrambling out of the room.

You turn back to the rest of the class, making sure to pointedly look at Henry. “No other questions about my love life?”

A deadly silence spreads across the room. Henry sinks back in his chair but you watch a hand creep up from the back of the classroom. You sigh and call on the girl. She’s clearly surprised you even allowed her to speak, because the question is whispered to the point you can barely hear it. “Why do you have Mr. Chwe’s jacket?”

The inquiry is enough to throw you off the deep end. “Ok, I’m not teaching the rest of class. I don’t care what you guys do as it’s either A) not disruptive or B) asking me about my personal life.” 

Seungcheol is surprised when there is a knock on the athletic office door in the middle of 3rd period. Students should be in class and if it were a staff member, they would have just let themselves in. He tells whoever it is to come in and is slightly less surprised to see Maya standing in front of him. She doesn’t let him speak first, quickly letting out, “do you know where Mr. Chwe is?”

He raises an eyebrow at the girl. “You got a hall pass kid?” he fires back. Maya waves the piece of paper around in his face. He rolls his eyes. 

She puts her hands on her hips and looks pointedly at him. “Seriously though. Do you know where Mr. Chwe is? It’s supposed to be his planning period or something.”

Seungcheol is still confused why she needs to see Vernon in the middle of 3rd hour and how she managed a hall pass for it. “Why?”

Maya plops down on the chair in front of his desk with a sigh, clearly this conversation was not happening without a little bit of a fight. “Ms. y/n sent me to ask him a question.”

The athletic director can’t help but let out a snort at the girl’s comment. Maya is suddenly interested in his reaction. “Why is that so funny? Do you think they’re dating too?”

Seungcheol is surprised yet again. “Do you think they’re dating?”

Now Maya snorts. “Obviously. Ms. y/n is wearing his lacrosse jacket today.” She laughs when the man’s eyes practically bulge out of his skull. He rustles around his desk, grabbing a notepad and writing another hall pass for the girl.

After scribbling for a second, he passes the note to the girl and tells her, “Mr. Chwe is in his office, room 218.”

The girl grabs the note from his hands and gleefully gets up to skip out the door. She stops midway through and calls out over her shoulder, “thanks Dad!”

“I’m not dating Ms. y/n, Maya. You know that.” Vernon sighs exasperatedly. “Why are you even asking me this?”

He knows he’s in for trouble when she smirks. “She’s wearing your coaching jacket today. Care to explain that?”

Vernon knows he should’ve asked for it back sooner rather than later. But he was secretly hoping that he would be able to see it on you one more time. And the longer you have it, the more likely it’s going to come back smelling like you (not that Vernon cares anyways right?). He doesn’t miss a beat though, explaining to Maya that he lent you his jacket for a game and that you probably mixed it up with your own. She’s not impressed, but she knows it’s an explanation that’s most likely true. This doesn’t stop her from interrogating Vernon further. “Do you want to date Ms. y/n?”

His silence is incriminating. He can tell by Maya’s mile wide grin. Trying to put an end to it, the lacrosse coach stands up from his desk, telling her that he’ll walk her back to whatever class she left from.

One tiny important detail he forgot is that you teach 3rd hour honors chemistry. A class that one of his players, Henry, shares with Maya. And he’s currently standing outside your door, watching as you type away on your computer. Sure enough, “Mr. Chwe” is embroidered across the chest. Vernon thinks he might combust on the spot. His student clearly picks up on this, muttering something about how she’s “seen middle schoolers with more balls.” 

He waits outside your door as Maya enters the room. There’s only a few minutes left of the period, so he figured it would be better for both of you to talk away from prying eyes. As the bell rings, he patiently watches the students trickle out your door. When he’s sure that everyone is gone, he steps into the doorway. What he does not expect is for you to walk straight into his chest, stumbling back with the cutest “oomph” he’s ever heard. 

Vernon is stunned but you look completely mortified. Probably because you just ran into the man whose jacket you’re wearing basically without his consent. His assumption is correct because you start mumbling out apologies. “I’m so sorry I thought this was my jacket when I grabbed it this morning. I didn’t mean to wear it today, I made such a mess of this. I shouldn’t have even asked for it in the first place. I was just about to change, give me a second I…”

The lacrosse coach cuts you off in the middle of your little rant. “Do you want to go out with me after your game on Friday?” 

You blink at him, not even processing the words he just said. When you finally do, your cheeks flush and you glance down at your watch. “Do you think you can ask me that in like 4 hours, Chwe?”

Vernon has no idea what you mean by that. He gawks a little bit. Do you need time to think about it? Are you not interested? Do you already have a boyfriend? Shit, he should’ve thought this through.

You break him out of his little trance with a small chuckle. “We’re on the clock Vernon. And you have a class in three minutes.” 

He glances at his watch. His freshman PE class is probably waiting for him. He mumbles something about meeting him on the main field before practice. Then he’s out the door. You’re left there, stunned, still in his jacket. You don’t bother to take it off the rest of the day.

A few hours later, Mingyu and Seokmin are watching you both converse from afar. Vernon’s cheeks are the reddest they’ve ever been. You’re fidgeting nervously but also smiling. It seems to be going well. Seokmin turns to the assistant coach before saying, “took them long enough.”

They hear someone approaching and turn to see Seungcheol. “You both owe me $20.” 

Both the teachers roll their eyes at him but reach for their wallets. Maya pops up from their other side, walking up to her father. “I should be getting at least half of that. I did all the work.” 

Seungcheol grunts, pondering her proposition. He turns to her. “What about this? You can either get $20 now or $200 if y/n is Mrs. Chwe before you graduate college?”

Maya’s eyes brighten and that sinister smile spreads across her cheeks once again. “Deal.” (She’s $200 richer at her college graduation).

[concretecultist]

Muscle Memory

summary: “Falling out of love is the saddest thing two people can do to one another. It just means that they have grown too comfortable enough to not make an effort to try,”

pairing: introvert!reader x noah sebastian

warnings: angst, lots of crying, heartbreak

word count: ~5k

lightly inspired by ‘The Greatest’ by Billie Eilish

THIS IS ALL PURE FICTION!

A/N: i don’t know if i want to make this into a part two or leave it open ended! let me know what you think and please be sure to comment and reblog if you enjoyed 🥰

~Berry🫐

——

Things just aren’t what they used to be.

Falling in love was scary enough but knowing the one you love is falling out of love with you is even scarier.

It started with the missed date nights.

“Baby, I’m sorry. I got stuck at the studio with Jolly,”

Then it was the barely there kisses. Each night before bed, you’d give each other three kisses, one for each word in the phrase ‘I love you’

But now you’re lucky if you even get one.

The sex that was once passionate isn’t even there. He’d come home from tour and there was no sexual tension, you’d tease him and he’d brush you off.

You’d cook dinner for the two of you but he’d come home with take out and the guys following in tow without letting you know beforehand, luckily, Folio and Jolly had an appetite so your food never went to waste.

But tonight, tonight was the final straw.

“I love you,” you said to him as you set his plate in front of him. It took him a few seconds, as if he was finding the courage to say the words that at one point, slipped out to easily.

“Love you too,”

And that’s when you knew. You knew that once the ‘I’ was no longer there, it was done. After four years, the love that burned bright, completely untamable, has been reduced to embers and there was no saving it. There was no lighter fluid, no extra wood and no match to bring that fire back to life.

It was gone.

“It’s all just muscle memory at this point… isn’t it?,”

Noah finished chewing before frowning at you.

“What?,”

You could tell he knew what you were referring to but he loved to play clueless. Now is not the time for that though.

“Just… saying ‘love you’? You fell out of love a long time ago but stayed to soften the blow,” you whisper as you pick at your food.

Noah ran a hand over his face and sighed, “Y/N, no. That’s not-,”

“You can be honest with me. I’ll be a little hurt but I already know,” you smile sadly as you glance at him, “I already know,”

“I tried to make it work,” he says lowly, saying the words as if his teeth are barbed wire, as if it’s hurting him to say this, “I still am,”

“When was the last time you touched me?,” you couldn’t even look at him when you asked that question, “All the times I waited for you to want me naked and you just… looked at me as if there was nothing enticing about me,”

“That’s not how it was, at all and you know that, with tour and everything my mind has been all over the place,”

“You still could’ve given me some form of passion, Noah! Not just sex! Flowers, a fucking chocolate bar because it’s my favorite and you passed by it in the store. Something, something to make me believe you actually cared!,”

“I do!,”

“I can’t tell!,” you had to keep yourself from raising your voice, “I just wanted what I gave you. I waited and I waited and I waited. I thought that maybe it was the burnout, that you being home and resting would fix it but it’s been like this for MONTHS and I’m tired of feeling you pulling away so please, just rip off the fucking bandaid already,”

“Y/N please don’t do this. Not now. I said I was trying,” even now, his voice is void of any emotion. How do you claim to try but it can’t even be heard. Why doesn’t he care enough to fight for you harder right now.

Right now he’s throwing weak punches as his defense, he’s barely trying. It’s over.

“I know I probably won’t ever be the one for you,” you tightened your lips, trying to keep yourself from spilling the words but you need to say it, “But you were it for me and I don’t think I’ll ever fall in love again,”

The words rush out like projectile vomit, you couldn’t stop it. You didn’t want to make it seem like you were begging but you figured if this is it, then to get it all out, right?

“Life will never be the same. I won’t be able to listen to certain songs, eat certain foods, watch shows, visit certain cities because they’ll all remind me of you and it’s going to kill me,” you twirl your fork in the mess of noodles on your plate, finding it more intriguing than this conversation, “I was so… desperate to make it better. To be better so that you would still love me but nothing was ever good enough. You may have thought that you were good at hiding it but… I could feel you slipping away from me and it’s crushing me,”

“Baby, please don’t do this,”

“Don’t call me that”

He had some nerve. For months it’s been ‘Y/N this, Y/N that’ but now he wants to pull the “Baby” card? He’s just driving the sword deeper into your chest and he can’t feel remorse. He can’t shed a tear because he’s the cause of all the blood. You sit before him, chest open as you give him your last breath. You deserved to say your piece before he does his finishing move.

“I’m sorry,” he swallowed thickly, following suit in picking at the food on his plate. He never wanted it to come to this. He always thought you were the one but with the rising fame, he was finding it hard to juggle. He started paying more attention to the band than feeding the energy into your relationship. He stopped trying and that’s what started all of this.

“There’s nothing to be sorry for. These things happen,” you sniffle and wipe your cheeks, forking some of your dinner in your mouth to hopefully subdue the churning you feel in your gut, but all it did was make you want to regurgitate it all, “I can be out by the end of the week,”

“You don’t have to do that,” he scoffed as if what you were saying was absurd. Did he really expect you to stick around?

“You don’t understand,” you tilt your head, finally looking at him. Eyes skimming over every feature of his, that way you’d never forget it, “You could offer me this place and I still wouldn’t take it. There’s too many memories. It would just eat at me,”

Maybe you’d live out in the woods. Away from society. You didn’t like the outside world much anyway. And with you losing Noah, there was no point. Solitude was your safety blanket, always forced to find solace in your own company, it’s been a long time since it’s come to that, but, right now you just wanted the ground to swallow you whole.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t keep you happy,”

“Y/N, please,” Noah sighs, “It’s not like that at all,”

“Look me in the eyes and tell me you love me,” your throat clenches around the words, “Look me in my eyes and tell me that I still make you as happy as the day you met me! That I’m not utterly alone in this world. That it doesn’t feel like an elephant is on your shoulders when you come home all because you don’t have the balls to tell me there’s nothing here anymore,”

“Oh c’mon!! You’re blowing this out of proportion! This can work just give me time,”

“Say it, Noah” fists banging on the table causing the silverware to clank loudly against the glass plates, “Do you or do you not love me? It’s simple!,”

You watched the way his jaw clenched and his eyes hardened.

He couldn’t even say it.

“You don’t love me anymore and you can’t even be a man and say it?!,”

“What good is it gonna do, Y/N?!,” he shouted over you. Frustration filling his eyes as he sends you a look of annoyance.

There it goes.

The confirmation without it being explicit.

This wasn’t your Noah anymore.

“I hate to see the fact that you’re hurting right now, why would I make it worse?! You think I want to be having this conversation? You think I want to see you shattering all while trying to keep it together? I never wanted to hurt you,”

“I just need to hear you say it so I can go about my life,” you whimper, you know it’s going to hurt like hell, but you need to hear it, “I need to hear it so I can cut the cord, Noah,”

The silence from him is heavy. This is the least he could do. If he couldn’t love you the way you needed then so be it, but he could at least do this last thing for you.

“If you ever cared about me then you owe me this much. If this is it then you need to fucking say it so that I can start healing! This is on you! Fucking say i-,”

“I love you but not like I used to,” he cuts you off, words rushing out as if they burned his tongue to speak, wearing a look of shame in his face, shaking his head and for a second.. he kind of looks heartbroken.

“I thought I could get around it, thought that if I just gave myself time that I could regenerate the love I felt, but I don’t know how. I started to feel less guilt when I missed date nights, I stayed late at the studio so that I wouldn’t have to see the sad, longing look in your eyes. I’m not who I was when I got into this. I don’t know who I am and I need time to figure it out,”

The air is stripped from your lungs and while you were begging him to say it, it didn’t burn any less. It felt like you were on display for him, bare and vulnerable and he just kept taking a hot fire poker, marking you, tainting you for anyone else.

“Th-thank you,” you nod, eyes filling with tears, his face becoming distorted, “Thank you, Noah, for your candor,”

“Y/N,”

“Can we just eat in peace?,” you cleared your throat, smiling so sadly, you’ve never been so dejected. You were embarrassed by the tears on your face as you sipped your water.

“I just want to end this night on a good note. So let’s just eat quietly. I’ll do the dishes and go to bed,”

All he could do was nod. Your requests for him were always simple and even with your heart breaking because of him, you wanted one last meal with him, one last peaceful souvenir.

Your dinner was finished in silence and you followed through with what you said. You did the dishes, you cleaned up, but, before you went to bed, you roamed the house for a bit, wanting to take it all in before this place became only a memory.

The living room, where you two had your first kiss. The lamp with the broken lampshade that you two never replaced because it added “character”, you two broke it while watching Michael Jackson’s Thriller music video, trying to learn the dance.

The coffee table that you two fought over the instructions about (you were the one reading them correctly), there’s pictures of you two on the walls but you had to do yourself and him a favor by just taking them down and trashing them.

Which leads you to the kitchen… where he taught you his secret method to dicing potatoes. The place where you two held a cooking contest, with your friends as the audience after watching a few episodes of ‘Beat Bobby Flay’, this was the place where you two sat and got two spoons to eat out of a singular tub of ice cream when you guys couldn’t sleep.

Then the dining room… my God. All the holidays in there, familial dishes displayed on the table as you two hosted parties with your friends. All the laughs, all the card games and fights over if you could put a draw 2 over a draw 4 in UNO (Nicholas says you can’t but… you say otherwise)

Then the bathrooms… you helped him paint them all, running around the house screaming after you flicked paint, getting it in his hair and he sprinted after you trying to get you back. All the decorative seasonal hand towels you gawked over in Home Goods that he only got because you laid it on thick with how “cuuuuuute they would compliment the seasonal shower curtain” that you also talked him into getting.

The porch, where you two would wake up before sunrise, he makes your tea, you make his coffee and swap cups when you two went to sit on the porch swing and just listen to the birds as they wake up. The porch that you two were so excited to decorate for Halloween and Christmas each year.

Then the backyard. Memories flash before your eyes of slip and slide you guys pulled out every summer. The barbecues you had every chance you got. Noah feeling like the cool dad on the grill and you were the sweet mom everyone loved and thanked while passing around your famous freshly squeezed lemonade with Davis always asking what your secret is and your reply always being ‘if I tell ya, I might have to kill ya’ but… now that things were ending… you suppose you could tell him that the secret is agave nectar, a pinch of salt and some sparkling water.

Then you have the basement where you’d have to pull him off the game when it got late but he talked you into playing a round, even though you weren’t the best.

Or the attic, where you guys stored things for the future… a future together that was no longer in the cards for you.

And finally the bedroom.

The first place he told you he loved you. The intimacy that happened here. The funny recollection of Noah bumping his head on the headboard in the middle of having sex and both of you had to take a break because you were laughing too hard. The movie marathons that happened in here. The competitions you two held at who could solve the murder mysteries first (he says you’re tied, but you know you’re winning by at least 3), all the late night talks, the cuddles, the stolen kisses, the tickles.

How?… how do you move on from that? How do you go about your life as if you didn’t devote yourself to this singular person for years? How do you go back to a life without him? And your friends are mutual friends so you know you’ll have to give them up.

Why does it have to be such a lonely road.

This is why falling in love is scary… you don’t get how people start over. It felt like your world was ending, things weren’t always like this. He’d surprised you with your favorite flowers, take you on trips, do karaoke. There was a time where he couldn’t keep his hands off of you. Always walked down the baby aisles to look at the clothes, always texted and called when he was away. He brought you out of your shell but now, now you must retreat back in.

What could you have done? You weren’t going to beg him to love you but what was his final straw? As much as you hate this, you can’t hate him, you can’t blame him for falling out of love it happens to people all the time.

But yeah, the woods sound nice. You’ve always told yourself if love never worked out, it would be a secluded life. A garden to tend to, hunting, you wouldn’t have to bump into very many reminders as the reminders in your mind were enough. So, through the tears and aching chest, you get to packing and searching.

You weren’t sure if you were ever going to be okay. But outside of loving him, being alone was muscle memory…

You’ll make do.

———

*A Year Later*

A life in the woods wasn’t so bad. Your fruits, vegetables, and herbs were flourishing, your gourds were thriving. You had some chickens for eggs and for things you didn’t have, you always traveled on foot to the farmers market on the outskirts.

Life out here was simple but it was far from easy just yet.

Your last night at the house, Noah tried to talk it out once more but you’d told him the damage is done.

“Just give me time to get back to who I was,” he’d said.

But you didn’t have time. You didn’t need him to be who he once was because you know there are different versions someone grows to be, meaning you have to learn to love every new edition of them. You put in the effort to love every version of him but unfortunately, his idea of love just didn’t evolve with him, leaving you high and dry.

There were nights where you still called for him in the midst of your cries but then there were days where it was easier to swallow. You’d genuinely secluded yourself. No social media. You had cut off any communication with everyone, they didn’t deserve the cold shoulder and ghosting but they have to understand… you had no place in their circle anymore and it wouldn’t feel right.

If you stayed in contact with them you wouldn’t have healed, not even the slightest bit. You’d always want to ask about him, you would always hope that they would tell you that he misses you. You couldn’t do that to yourself.

There’s times where you still want to call him, see what he’s up to, but instead of sending messages or making the mistake of calling him. You write letters that will never be sent. Telling him of all that you’ve endured over the past year.

So you write and write and write as a form of closure to move on with your life.

It was a light morning. You woke up before sunrise as you always do, cup of earl grey in your hands as you sit in your rocking chair, taking in the view of the squirrels running, the birds chirping and the beetles flying by.

Things still weren’t easy but you were keeping your head above water.

A sweet noise pulls you from your thoughts and you set your mug down on the side table, it was practically empty at this point but you’d make a mental note to get it later.

You make your way through the quiet, cool cabin, hearing the noise louder. Your gown brushing against your calves with each step.

As you make your way into your room, a part of you still longs to see pictures of you and him hanging on the walls as if you were back at the house. Micro-dosing delusion here and there wasn’t too big of a deal. You were still healing after all.

Your body carries you closer to your bed and the white cradle that was attached.

Peaking your head over to see a pair of little hazel eyes looking up at you in adoration.

“Hi, baby girl,” you coo softly, lifting her up and hearing her little grunts as she stretches, “Always an early bird just like your mama, huh?,”

You bounce her in your arms as you make your way to the kitchen to pull a brick of breast milk out of the freezer.

“I had my tea and you’ll have your morning beverage shortly,”

You don’t know why you talked to her as if she could understand you, but you enjoyed it. She was calm when you talked, so you figured she liked it.

You take your time to wrap her up into your chest so you could have her close with free arms as you craft her bottle.

“This would be a lot easier if I had help huh?,” you tighten the straps so she’s snug and secure while you’re both also comfortable, “But, It’s just you and me, Sunshine,”

Noelle was short of three months old so all she really did was shine her eyes at you and smile.

“But we’re gonna be okay!,” you cheer, testing her milk on your wrist, deeming it just the right temperature before taking her to the couch to feed her.

She had Noah’s nose, his eye shape, she even had his Cupid’s bow above her top lip, she had your cheeks, your hair and your frown of concentration. She was perfect and even if you were alone you were going to be the best damn parent you could be.

A part of you knows you should have told him when you found out but… you figured he’d be too busy to take care of a baby. He still had so much time on the road, he wouldn’t give that up.

So… it was just you and Noelle, you two against the world.

She babbles as you adjust your wrap to angle her properly to feed her.

“You are my sunshine,” you sing, smiling so proudly to yourself. You’d never expected to find yourself in this position but she was your reason to keep going. To not give up.

“And no one will take my sunshine away,”

After feeding her and cleaning up the cabin, you decided to head to the farmer’s market for some fresh meat and honey.

Noelle was in her stroller enjoying the smooth ride on the path. It was only a 10 minute walk and it was a great time to look at the pretty leaves and listen to what the wind has to say as it whisks past you.

When you hear all the laughing and chatter is when you know you’re close to the market. You’re a regular so although you’ve come to enjoy the lack of human interaction, you love seeing the smile on the faces of the vendors you shop with.

When you’re off the path, you see how packed it is and get overwhelmed.

“We got this, Sunshine,” you sigh to her, smiling and booping her nose, “Your mama did this to herself really, made herself damn near agoraphobic- oh shoot, shouldn’t cuss in front of you. Don’t store that in your subconscious anywhere!,”

All she could do was smile at you, not understanding a single word you said.

“Meat, oat milk, and fresh honey. That’s it! Should be easy right?,”

You stroll to the milk truck and wave at the elderly woman in the window,

“Hey there, Y/N!,”

“Hi, Ms. Ernie!,” smiling brightly. Ms. Ernie was a sweetheart and always special made oat milk for you. She doesn’t sell it much but she makes sure to keep it on hand just for you.

“How are you and your little Plum?,” she’s always called Noelle that, when you found out you were pregnant with her she was about the size of a plum, and when you met Ms. Ernie she could tell you had a lot on your mind, so, she sat and talked with you and gave you your first gallon of milk on the house, it was a nice glass bottle with her logo on it that you now use as a vase for flowers.

“Can’t complain! She’s growing up so fast!,”

“It’s my milks doing!,” she pointed and winked, “It’s making mama strong which is making her strong,”

“You got me there. I gotta admit it,” you joked with her. It was always like this. She was like a grandma to you and the conversations were always wholesome.

After purchasing your milk she throws in a small container.

“I’m making yogurt now! It’s got that oat milk ya like so let me know what ya think! And don’t be a stranger, come into town and have some dinner sometime,”

You verbalized how grateful you were for her kindness and took her up on her offer. It did get a little overwhelming trying to cook dinner and take care of an infant all on your own while also tending to a garden and a chicken coop.

You bid your goodbyes and make your way to the local honey tent.

“Hey, Y/N!,” a young man waved

“Hi, Reid!,”

“And hello little miss sunshine!,” he peaked his head around the stroller, as soon as your daughter sees him she squeals and kicks her feet, she loves Reid. He tickles her and chuckles before standing up and waving his hand to his table.

“What are we having today? We’ve got some new flavors; Orange Blossom, Blueberry Blossom, Lavender- we even got them in sticks so you can try before you buy,” he trails off.

“Can I get my normal wildflower aaaand I’ll try the orange blossom,” you point the sample sized container.

Reid bags everything up nicely for you and you watch him throw a few of the new flavor sticks in the bag before you pay.

“Enjoy, Y/N!,”

Once you give your goodbyes to Reid, you’re on your way to the next truck. Phyllis and her husband, Dan, greet you just as they always do and you order your meats and cuts the way you like them and are all set to head back home. You’re almost to the path when you realize there’s one more thing you needed.

“Shoot, Sunshine. I need bread!,” You turn yourself around to see where the bread truck is and bump into an unsuspecting soul. Neither of you paying attention.

“Oh goodness! I’m so sorry,” you apologize profusely, helping him pick up his bag of goods.

“Y/N?,”

You stop what you’re doing. You recognize that voice anywhere. After years of being near it and talking with him, it was unmistakable. You slowly raise your head to make eye contact with him.

“M-Matt?,” you hand him his fallen apple and step in front of your stroller, obscuring his view of Noelle.

“What are you- where have you been? We’ve been worried sick,”

“I can’t talk to you,” You reply with a shaky tone, “I can’t handle it right now. Just act like you never saw me,”

He frowns at your words, disheartened at how you could seem so scared of him. Not physically but mentally, emotionally even. You were doing so well and now… here is a physical reminder of your past life.

Birthing Noelle was different because while she did have features of her father, she was a reminder of the future and what is to come but seeing Matt right now pushed you all the way back to where you were emotionally a year ago.

He notices the stroller behind you but before he can get a word out, you’re cutting him off.

“No,” you grit through your teeth, “No! Don’t even,” you point at him

“Does he know?,”

“I don’t owe any of you anything,”

“She looks just like him, Y/N”

“Stop it!,” you hold your hand up to quiet him, “I have been through hell and back trying to heal. I don’t need this right now. Go about your day, you didn’t see me, you didn’t see anything!,”

“He deserves to know,”

“I can’t let him back in my life. If he finds out, he will be around and I won’t get better! He’ll take her away from me,”

“It’s not about you or him. If he has a baby, he deserves to know and she deserves a dad. He wouldn’t take her from you, he wouldn’t do that,”

“I can’t take that chance, Matt. He broke up with me, he fell out of love because tour and the fame was too much. How do you expect him to juggle being a father when he couldn’t even juggle being a boyfriend! If you tell him and he comes after me, I will NEVER forgive you!,”

“What’s going on?,” you turn to your left and see Reid coming to stand between you and Matt, “Is he bothering you?,”

“We’re friends,” Matt defends himself. This is getting a lot bigger than what you needed right now.

“Yeah? Well it doesn’t seem that way. So if you could, please leave. She looks uncomfortable,”

“Y/N, please,” he begged. He hadn’t seen nor heard from you in over a year, all of you were a family and it’s been hard to process for all of them how you were there one day then gone without a trace.

“You should go, Matt,” you hide behind Reid and wait until he leaves. He stood there waiting to see if you’d change your mind but when you didn’t, he got the hint and went on his way.

“I’ll wait till he’s gone then I’ll have Morgan watch the tent, I’ll walk you home,”

“Thank you,” your voice was barely above a whisper, you wipe your tears and you turn around to crouch down in front of Noelle, making sure she’s okay, she’s half asleep, usually you’re back at the cabin by now to put her down for a nap but this little scuffle pushed it back.

“Is there anything you need before we leave? I saw you turn back around like you forgot something,”

“I… I needed bread,”

“What kind?,”

“Pumpernickel and sourdough,”

“I’ll be right back,”

“Reid, you don’t have to,”

“I got it,” he rests a hand on your shoulders to calm you down. A lot happen just now, it made sense why your nerves would be all over the place

You decided not to protest as he was already on his way over to the bread truck. You look back to Noelle and see she’s finally out like a light just that quick.

Matt’s words began echoing in your mind as you stare at her. Why couldn’t today have just been like any other day? What are the fucking odds that he ends up at this market in particular? You know he loves them but there’s one closer to the city that’s his favorite. Why’d he have to come out to the countryside?

Was this a coincidence or was it somehow planned? You know for sure he’s going to tell Noah, that’s his best friend and you don’t know how to handle any of it. They don’t know where you live but now you’re worried they’ll come out here looking for you, which means you’ll have to ask Reid to do a weekly pick up and drop off. You know he won’t mind but you hate asking for help.

He deserves to know

It’s like tinnitus now. Just an irritating ringing in your ears that won’t go away.

But as you stare at your daughter, you realize she was an embodiment of the bright rays that peaked through the cloud that rained over your head for months. She was your sunshine.

And no one would take your sunshine away.

——————

——————

Let me know if you want a part two or if I should leave it open ended like this? 👀

Be sure to comment and reblog! Much love!

tags: @lma1986

[katherines-imagines]

“Stupid bitches, be stupid bitches.”

pairings: hazel callahan x reader

warnings: angst, fighting, mean PJ, bad writing

summary: PJ starts yelling at Hazel, but her girlfriends not having it.

A meeting was called for the fight club after their revenge on Jef. As the girls started coming in, each had a mischievous yet proud smile adorning their faces. Y/N walked towards the back where her girlfriend, Hazel, was saving a seat for her. Sitting down, Y/N took Hazel’s hand into her own, playing with her silver rings. When everyone arrived, PJ began to speak.

“Alright, well, some of us clearly have a different definition of egging.” The girls gave each other knowing looks. “But if we keep our mouth shut, stay calm, we’ll be fine,” PJ finished.

“They’re gonna shut us down, aren’t they,” Sylvie asked sadly.

“What,” PJ laughed nervously. “No, we don’t know that. Why-”

“Principal Meyers will believe whatever Jeff and Tim say,” Brittany pointed out. “I don’t really see how we recover from this.” She was right, and all the girls knew it. As much as they could hope that the club would continue, after their little stunt, the club would be shut down.

“Man. Fuck,” Sylvie sad dejectedly.

“It’s been real guys,” Hazel said, looking bittersweetly to the group. Her girlfriend lovingly tracing her hands, nodding in agreement.

“Okay,” PJ interrupted. “Let’s not jump to conclusions with the, goodbyes,” she waved her arms around.

“I’m gonna miss you guys so much,” Hazel said, ignoring PJ. Y/N’s heart felt heavy from the break up for the group. These were her friends. This was her safe space. Now it would end, but she didn’t regret joining at all, and that made it all the more bittersweet.

“I’m like,” Sylvie started while standing up. “At least we went out with a bang,” Sylvie referred to the bomb Hazel made, causing the group to laugh sans PJ and Josie. “I mean, that was fucking insane!” The group laughed louder. “It’s just like, fire, everywhere” she continued, playfully hitting the girls.

“Wait, wh, stop,” PJ stuttered. “We don’t, wait, no, we don’t know that for sure,” PJ tried to deny, but the girls had already accepted it.

“PJ,” Annie stopped her with a sad smile. “Don’t be sad it’s over. Be happy it happened,” she smiled towards the fight club members, them smiling back.

“Alright, can everyone calm the fuck down please,” PJ said exasperatingly. “The club is not over, Josie? Right?” PJ motioned to her best friend, a hand motioning in her direction. Josie kept silent, PJ turning in disbelief at the lack of answer.

“No matter what,” Isabel started. “This club has brought me so much. I feel..” She took a deep breath before continuing. “So much more powerful, and, protected.”

“Me too,” Josie agreed, eyes showing vulnerability like the rest of the girls. PJ let out a sarcastic laugh

“Great,” PJ said. Hazel, tired of her attitude, interrupted her.

“Oh my god PJ, okay,” Hazel stood abruptly, her hand leaving Y/N’s grasp, causing her to jump at the sudden movement. “I’m sorry you didn’t get what you wanted out of this group, but I think the rest of us did.” She motioned towards the girls with a smile.

“Oh,” PJ spoke sarcastically. “Good for fucking you Hazel.” Y/N’s eyebrows furrowed, not liking how PJ was speaking to her girlfriend. “I’m glad that you finally wrote one email. Accomplished a lot.”

“I actually did, I practically ran this club for you and Josie,” Hazel said frustratedly. Y/N nodded harshly in support.

“Let’s calm down, maybe,” Josie said, trying to deescalate the situation, but it was too late for that.

“You really think that your the reason that we have this club,” PJ asked rudely.

“The reason? No, but I can tell everyone that if you want,” Hazel shot back. The girls heads snapped to Hazel at the comment, none of them expecting Hazel to have a mean bone in her body. Y/N stood up next to her girlfriend, hand going to the small of her back in support. As much as Y/N wanted to tear PJ a new one, she knew that Hazel had to do this part, at least, by herself.

“Hazel, uh hey, let’s calm down,” Josie said to Hazel. Y/N glared at Josie. Clearly PJ was the one who needed to calm down, not Hazel.

“You’re really ungrateful,” PJ snapped at her. “You’re so lucky that we even let you be a part of this.” How dare PJ try and glorify herself?

“PJ, your a liar.” A silence followed after Hazel’s retort, eyes turning to PJ for an explanation. PJ scoffed in disbelief.

“Yeah, well,” PJ started. Y/N had a feeling that the next few words that would come out of PJ’s mouth would make Y/N’s patience snap. “You have no friends, and a skank as a mom, so,” PJ smiled maliciously, as Josie looked at her feet. As the girls stared quietly, Y/N yelled at PJ.

“How dare you say that? She has friends, and you have no right so say something so atrocious to her,” Y/N said angrily, while Hazel stared in disbelief at PJ. Before Y/N could continue, Hazel looked at her friends in pain before picking up her stuff. Y/N followed Hazel’s lead, picking up her and her girlfriend’s stuff before following Hazel down the bleachers. Before leaving the gym, Y/N went to PJ’s face and spoke coldly, “If you every say shit like that again, I’ll fuck you up. Don’t you ever, disrespect her.” Shoving PJ with her shoulder, Y/N followed Hazel out the gym. While the rest of the girls watched them leave, Josie calling out for Hazel. When Y/N caught up to Hazel’s fast walking, she stayed quite. After a few minutes of walking quietly, Hazel spoke softly.

“What did you say, hun,” Y/N asked softly, not hearing what Hazel had said.

“Could you please hold my hand,” she shakily asked, quiet tears streaming down her face. Instead of answering, Y/N simply took Hazel’s hand in her own, comfortingly rubbing her thumb across her girlfriend’s hand. They walked in silence before Y/N spoke up.

“She’s a bitch.” Hazel let out a startled laugh of disbelief. “And not even a good one like me,” Y/N added, hesitantly looking at Hazel to see if it was ok to talk. Hazel laughed quietly, wiping her tears with the back of her hand. Y/N stopped the pair, Hazel looking curiously for the reason why. Y/N dropped their bags and took of her jacket, using the sleeve to wipe Hazel’s tears before putting it on Hazel. When Y/N picked up their bags, she took Hazel’s hand and continued to walk. “Don’t listen to her Haze. You know what they say about girls like her?” Y/N waiting until Hazel hummed in question.

“Stupid bitches, be stupid bitches.”

Hazel laughed loudly, hugging Y/N’s arm to stop her from falling.

“Y/N,” Hazel laughed.

“Hazel,” Y/N responded seriously. Well, semi-seriously. She couldn’t help the small smile growing on her mouth. Sighing gratefully, Hazel tugged on Y/N’s arm to stop.

“Thank you, love,” Hazel said, looking into Y/N’s eyes with love. Y/N swore she could feel her heart melt, warmth filling her up.

“Of course, pretty girl,” Y/N spoke softly, hugging her girlfriend tightly. Y/N was not going to let PJ get away with this.

No one spoke to her girl like that.

a/n: first imagine since I came back! if you have any requests from any fandom, please let me know. if I know the fandom, I will try and do it! Hope you guys like this one as much as I did.

[msschemmenti]

A Kiss to Make it Better

Melissa Schemmenti x Reader

Prompt: Reader is the school nurse and Melissa has a student who needs some stitching up after a scissors mishap. 

Warnings: mentions of blood and slight medical stuff

a/n: i havent written in so long so i’m trying to get back into it. I think i may have aged myself with the handy manny reference…but oh well. This is my first time writing for melissa schemmenti and this is not proofread :)

“Ashley, can you collect the scissors from everyone. Lunch is starting soon.” Melissa called over her shoulder as she wiped the board clean of the clocks she’d be using to teach her students. 

“Sure thing boss. I’m ready to get my eat on.” Ashley chirped as she finished fluffing her hair in the reflection of her phone. The women had been working together for a couple of months now and Melissa was really trying to accept the help the best way she knew how. Ashley was not her ideal candidate for an aide, but she’d straightened up a bit since Halloween and Melissa recognized that. But that didn’t mean she was any happier about her being there. 

Once Melissa finished cleaning her own area of the classroom she turned to her students readying to rally them into a line for the journey to the lunchroom. She had some leftover ziti waiting for her and she was ready for the break from not only her students but her aide as well. Since Halloween, Ashley had been banished to cafeteria duty, so Melissa always took advantage the time. “Alright kiddos, let’s line up. It’s lunch time.” The room filled with cheers and the scrape of chairs as the students shoved their chairs back under the desks as they’d been taught to do. Melissa did another once-over the room before nodding and heading to the door with the students following behind her. Ashley was playing caboose and was following dutifully behind all the children. They were mere feet from the turn into the cafeteria when Melissa heard it. 

“Miss Schemmenti, DeVon is bleeding!” The small voice called through the hall causing the redhead to come to a halt. 

“What?” She asked turning on the line and making her way down the line eyeing each of the children searching for the injured kid. It was toward the back of the line that she saw the student in question cradling his hand in his pocket in an attempt to hide the injury. “DeVon, what happen? Where are you bleeding?” 

DeVon, knowing he’d get in trouble opted to remain quiet and just pulled his hand from his pocket for the teacher to examine. As he did so a pair of scissors clattered to the floor causing all the other students to murmur and whisper. Melissa sighed heavily as her eyes fell to Ashley with a frown. 

“He said he wasn’t done yet…” She started causing Melissa to groan at the girl’s behavior. 

“Ashley take the rest of the class to lunch. DeVon and I are gonna go see the nurse.” Melissa ordered placing her hands on the younger boys shoulders and grabbing the scissors from the floor before turning to head for the nurse’s office. 

Now the consistent nurse was a new thing for Abbott, after Janine’s whole ‘handy-manny’ incident with the lights. They’d had rotating nurses up until then and Ava was forced to get a full-time nurse to be at the school at all times. It took them a while but they finally got one to stay, Miss Y/n. She started after the New Year and when it came time to renew her contract for the new school year, she was more than ready to sign onto the Abbott team. Melissa hadn’t had very many run-ins with her thus far, aside from their initial meeting in the break room one day toward the end of last year. And even that encounter was brief. But she’d heard only good things about the young woman and it seemed like now would be their first official encounter. 

Melissa and DeVon reached the door to the nurse’s office and the redhead knocked against the wood apprehensively. DeVon’s hand seemed to stop bleeding but she wanted to make sure it was cleaned and bandaged as soon as possible but she wasn’t completely sure that was the reason for her unease. Before Melissa could even question her nerves, there was shuffling on the other side of the door and a voice calling out to them, “Come on in, it’s open.”

Melissa pushed the door open leading DeVon into the small office and her eyes settled on a woman clad is the brightest pink scrubs she’d ever seen. The scrubs were as close to a highlighter as she’d seen, but that wasn’t what caught her attention. As bright as her clothes were, nothing seemed to be competing with the smile the woman was casting toward the two intruders. “Well hello there! What have we got here?” She grinned rolling over to the little boy with a smile before turning her gaze to his teacher. 

Melissa cleared her throat attempting to compose herself before speaking, “A bit of a scissor mishap.” Melissa said simple, mentally patting herself on the back for not stumbling through her words with the woman’s eyes on her. 

“Awe man, well how about we get that all cleaned up so you can head to lunch?” 

DeVon nodded and allowed the woman to lead him over to the bed against the wall. Melissa, leaned against the door and watched as she grabbed all the materials she’d need to handle the cleaning. The nurse worked quietly distracting DeVon from the pain and even let him pick out a bandaid when she’d finished the hard part. And as if the scene couldn’t get any cuter, she heard the woman ask a question only someone who really understood kids would as.

“Are you too cool for a kiss to make it better? It’s my secret weapon, guaranteed to make any injury heal faster.” 

When DeVon held his hand back out eagerly, Melissa couldn’t help the grin on her face as the younger woman placed an dramatized kiss against the small hand. “And you are all done.” She finished before turning her attention back to the woman against the wall. 

“Thank you,” Melissa said as DeVon hurried back to her side, practically buzzing to return to his classmates. 

“My pleasure Miss Schemmenti.” Melissa felt the heat rise in her ears at the nurse’s words. “Listen I know you’re both hungry, so go ahead and take your lunch. If you can come see me before you leave that would be amazing, just so I can log the incident,” 

“Of course, sounds good. C’mon DeVon, tell Miss Y/n, thank you.” Melissa prompted and the boy followed before they headed toward the door. Melissa gazing over her shoulder as they left. 

-

“Last nurse we had just wasn’t a great fit. Didn’t really care about the kids, kinda mean. We’re lucky to have Miss Y/n.” Melissa shrugged into the camera before heading back to her classroom.

-

“Oh I love Abbott! I moved to Philly at the start of the year and did some floating between hospitals while I waited for a position to open up in a school. I interviewed at a few places, but I guess I liked Abbott the most. There’s never a boring day in these halls.” Y/n smiled toward the camera. 

-

“There you are Melissa, what’s this I hear about your student stabbing himself with scissors? You know we don’t have any money for a lawsuit.” Ava said as soon as Melissa entered the teacher’s lounge. 

“He didn’t stab himself, and even if he did you’re asking the wrong person. Ashley was supposed to collect all the scissors before lunch.” Melissa groaned finally falling into her seat to enjoy her lunch. 

“She’s pretty expendable at this point. If anyone asks, she stabbed him.” Ava whispered before eyeing the camera suspiciously.

“Did you get everything taken care?” Barbara asked after watching watched her friend tuck into her pasta. 

“Oh yeah, we stopped by the nurse’s office and she got it all fixed up. I gotta stop back by there for the incident report or whatever before I leave, but she took care of it.” 

“Oh just adore her, I had a kindergartener have an accident last week and she was so embarrased but Y/n’s started keeping extra uniforms in her office so she got her changed and back to class before we even started the next lesson.” Barbara gushed with a smile.

“Oh yeah, I love Y/n. I got a pretty gnarly paper cut yesterday. Gushing blood everywhere, but she came to my classroom to patch me up and she even has those cute skintone bandaids. So inclusive.” Jacob added, walking to the fridge, catching Barbara’s praise and hopping on the train.

“I didn’t realize she was so popular around here. This was the first time I’ve really seen her since she started.” Melissa said eyeing the teachers in the lounge. 

“That’s because you have a tendency to steer clear of new faces.” Barbara reminded the red head. 

“Yeah, do you remember how long it took you to warm up to me?” Janine asked leaning over the table she was sat at with a teasing smile. Melissa, with her back to Janine eyed Barbara and the camera briefly before nodding her head to appease the younger teacher. 

“Anyways, I guess you’re right.” Melissa shrugged, “Plus I haven’t really had a reason to talk to her besides today.” 

“I think you’d like her.” Barb said stabbing at a stubborn piece of lettuce. 

“And why’s that?” 

Barbara simply shrugged her shoulders and settled the redhead with one of her ‘all-knowing’ looks, “I just have a feeling.”

Melissa gazed at Barbara, attempting to understand what she was suggesting, “Mmhm okay.”

-

“Knock, knock.” Melissa said as she crossed the threshold to the nurse’s office for the second time that day. 

“Hi! Thank you so much for coming back, I really appreciate it. Was DeVon okay for the rest of the day?” Y/n asked as she motioned for the woman to have a seat on the chair in front of her desk.

“Oh yeah, tough kid. Didn’t even cry.” 

“Awesome. I really just need you to sign off on the incident report and we can both head home for the day.” Y/n smiled grabbing a pen from a mug full of sparkly pens. 

“Sounds good, hon. Where do ya need it?” Melissa asked reaching for the pen and report across the desk. 

“Bottom left.” 

As the woman passed the items over to Melissa their hands seemed to brush against each oher’s unconsciously. The new contact startled Melissa and in her haste to pull her hand away the pen clattered to the floor rolling to a halt near the foot of the desk. 

“Whoops.” Y/n said as she peaked over the desk. 

“No worries.” Melissa muttered out as she bent over her knees to pick the pen up. 

“Oh be careful on your way up, there a bit of an uneven cor-” Y/n started but stopped as she heard the swear fall from the redhead’s mouth as she rose to sitting again. “-ner. Are you okay?” She said quickly rolling around the desk to examine the woman’s injury. 

“Oh, I’m fine. No need to fuss. It was just a lil bump on the head, I’ve taken worse than that from family.” Melissa said frowning as the nurse seemed to ignore her and continued fussing around her head. 

“That doesn’t mean you don’t have a concussion. Let me see.” Y/n said sliding her chair between Melissa and the desk. She pulled the pen from Melissa’s hands and waved in her face a bit, “Follow the pen with your eyes.” After Melissa rolled her eyes, she followed the pen as she was asked. “Any pain, nausea, dizziness?”

“No, none of that. I’m fine Y/n, I promise.” Melissa said fixing the younger nurse with a pointed look, practically daring her to ask another question. 

“Fine, I’ll stop. I just wanted to make sure nothing was wrong.” Y/n sheepishly said handing the pen back to Melissa to sign off on the report. “Wouldn’t want to have to do another incident report.” 

Melissa shook her head softly before handing the paper back, “That’s for sure. Anything else?” 

Y/n gazed at Melissa tentatively before leaning in to lay a light kiss to her head, “A kiss to make it better.” 

Melissa’s cheeks heated instantly and ducked her head to hide it from the young nurse. She didn’t move to stand until Y/n did and she grabbed her purse and jacket quickly, trying her hardest to pull herself together. By the time she’d found all of her things, she felt ready enough to meet Y/n’s eyes again and when she did, her eyes were already on her. Her cheeks heated again, this time less aggressively. “Thanks, Y/n. Have a good night.” 

“You too Melissa. Come back to see me, if you suddenly forget the name of one of your guys or something.” Y/n smirked with a wave sending the older teacher out of the school fighting a goofy grin and laugh.

-

“She’s nice.” Melissa spoke to the camera before she turned and headed for the parking lot.

[urlocalnonbinarybastardwrites]

could you do a m!greaser hc where the m!greaser unintentionally says dirty stuff without realizing it (like saying good boy when they do a task for m!greaser,exc.) and it flusters the gang? if you don’t like this one just ignore it, if you do it THANK YOUUUU🖤

No problem pookie!!! And I actually love this so much and I had so much fun coming up with dirty jokes

Ponyboy Curtis

-hes hanging out with you

-reading with you

- working on homework

-“Hey, Pony… this problems pretty hard, you mind helpin’?”

-“Sure, y/n!”

-he does it with you leaning over him, watching him complete the problem step by step carefully

-when he finished explaining you whistle at him

-“What a good boy… thanks Pony.”

-you whisper in his ear form the close contact, grabbing your paper back

-his ears turn red as he stares at his own work, gulping and trying to pretend like he didn’t hear what he thinks he did

-he looks back at you, checking to see if you realize what’s going on

-but there you are, working peacefully

-he thinks about it for the rest of the night

Johnny Cade

-you guys were out at a restaurant

-hole in the wall place

-shooting straws at waitresses

-seeing who could do more without getting caught

-you won, and soon you both get kicked out onto the street, giggling

-“How’s that loss for ya, Johnny?” You grin, and get closer to him

-“Take it, Take it!” You chant, teasing him about the little game

-but he takes that last bit of your sentence far differently as he blushes

-“T-taking what now?” He asks softly, his eyes wide

-“Yk, the loss.” You say with a nonchalant shrug

-Johnny blushes even harder when he realizes you don’t know your own joke, his eyes widen to be the size of saucers

-“Johnnycake you ok?”

-“uhm- yeah.”

Sodapop Curtis

-you’re both getting ready for a shift

-and he’s teasing you about something while you both put your shoes on

-“Careful, Soda don’t make me tie you up like those shoes.”

-he smirks “Forward, Y/n. I like it”

-“What are you talkin about?” You say with an irritated glare

-“yk, tyin me up-“

-“LORD not like that! I mean to keep you from making those jokes not like- like that!”

-he blushes a bit when he realizes you didn’t know what you were talking about

-damn. He was looking forward to it.

Darry Curtis

-you are both making dinner

-you’re on a time crunch

-it has to be done before the rest of the Curtis boys come home

-and you decide to make some pizza with Darry

-you start rolling out the dough and slapping it down

-guiding Darry through how to make it when you aren’t around

-“See, Dare? You gotta slap the dough hard. Really rough to get the crust thin- what are you snickering on about?”

-Darry smirks, and blushes a bit “So you gotta slap the dough pretty hard right?!”

-you roll your eyes “Yes, that’s what I’ve been saying this whole time!”

-“You could slap my dough anytime.”

-“Darry that doesn’t make any- Oh you tricky bastard…”

-you flush in realization

Dallas Winston

-“Damn Dal, that’s really long... it’s so big.”

-you say, referring CLEARLY to the switchblade Dal just stole from a weapon shop

-he chuckles, smirking a bit

-he’s one of the few that figured out you genuinely don’t know what you’re talking about when you say stuff like that

-“is it, now, y/n?”

-“yeah man, it’s crazy huge!”

-he smirks

-“You know what else is huge?”

-You finally catch onto the joke

-realize he pulled out that knife just so you’d say that

-and was fucking with you the whole time

-so you decide to bite back a bit

-you cross your arms “Your list of bad life choices?”

-he crosses his arms “That’s cold, Y/n.”

Two Bit Mathews

-probably the least likely to catch on you don’t know what you’re talking about

-you both are eating some chocolate cake and watching Mickey Mouse

-“Two, we should take a break. We’ve been watching tv for hours.”

-“Yeah what are you y/n, my dad?”

-“Maybe I am your daddy.” You say with a smirk “or at least until you can learn to stop acting like a child

-he blushes so hard at this, both embarrassed and flustered

-“Gee, y/n. You sure know how to make a guy blush.”

-you furrow your brows “what you yappin about, Two?”

Steve Randle

-you’re helping Steve work on cars/fill up gas at the station

-you’re trying to fit the pump inside the tank

-it seems like you chose the wrong pump for that model of car

-you grunt, trying to fit it in “F-fuck Steve it won’t fit!”

-Steve comes out from under the car, with a raised eyebrow until he realizes what you’re talking about

-“I think you have the wrong hole there, y/n.” He jeers with a smirk

-you flush in embarrassment, and then move it to the right one

-“Gee, sorry Stevie. No wonder it was so tight…”

-Steve chuckles and blushes a bit from the accidental implication

[r3starttt]

Amoeba

a/n: third part of don’t delete the kisses (lmk if you noticed the Dina x Ellie reference 🤞)

pt.1 | pt.2 | pt.4

Warnings: a little bit of angts(? lots of fluff. homophobia. mentions of suicide.

“Between the gasps, I was swimming laps”

Echo chambers inside a neighborhood

In centerfold, humility’s shown

You’re not as good as what your mama’s sewn

Nobody yet everything, a pool to shed your memory

Could you say you’ve been tired? You haven’t called your family twice

I can hope tonight goes differently, but I show up to the party just to leave

The delicious and soft aroma of sweet bread wakes you up. Before you can even open your eyes properly, you feel your stomach growl. How much have you been sleeping for?

The warm of the sun coming from a big window besides you doesn’t help as you try hard to open your eyes. You rub them, yawning and stretching your legs.

It was probably the first time since you moved to this place that you didn’t felt exhausted.

You grabbed your phone to check the time, it was 10:30 am. How on earth could you slept for so long? you usually don’t make it pass 9 am, your body simply wakes you up and once your eye open there’s no way to feel tired enough to go back to sleep.

“Did I wake you up?” Ellie’s voice bring you back to reality, you finally turn around, there’s two plates on top of the kitchens counter with what seemed like hotcakes in them. Your heart felt like melting. “No… did you just cook our breakfast? How long have you been awake?”

Still a little bit sleepy you stood up from the couch you’ve slept in last night. Giving slow dizzy steps towards the counter and sitting on one of the few chair that were along it.

“Not too long, probably an hour” you could only see her back and her messy hair as she looked trough the many cabinets of the kitchen “what’re you looking for?” “The fucking maple syrup! I literally bough it like… three days ago”

“I bet you forgot it at the store” a sleepy chuckle came out of your mouth, already craving the very tasty hotcakes displayed in front of you.

“No I didn’t, I’m not that stupid” just before you could speak back she found it, whispering a ‘yessss’

She turned around and sat next to you, covering her plate with and exaggerated amount of syrup “That’s a lot” “it’s not” “it is”

Probably she was just as hungry as you were because none of you spoke again último both plates were empty, not even a crumb left.

“No, lemme do it” you pushed her away from the sink, she’d already done more than enough by cooking something for both “Why did you wake up so early? Didn’t you say how your day started like…. suuuper late?” with your hands you lifted both sleeves of your sweater, starting to wash the dishes.

“Couldn’t really sleep” she replied, almost too fast “Why?” she stood in silence for some seconds before explaining “It’s gonna sound super cheesy, just forget it”

“Now I really wanna know” you laughed “Did you dream of me? Of us? Did you marry me and started the most pretty cliche life with me?” she groaned

“Actually yeah, but you were so different…. and we were younger too” could it be? “did I have the same name?” you glazed at her quickly, but enough time to see her sudden change of expression “How’d you know?”

“I’ve had the same dreams, I freaked out when I first met you” you could hear the way the chair moved abruptly, her footsteps getting closer to you

“It made me feel nostalgic” her figure finally appeared on the corner of your eye, you were about to finish cleaning the last glass “and you haven’t even got to the best part” the sarcasm on your voice made her feel so confused,

Were you being serious right now? “What does that even mean?” her arms rested on the counter, watching you clean the glass “I’m not gonna spoil you our failed romance, just go to sleep and you’ll see” “You’re fucking with me” her hand slapped your shoulder slightly “I’m not! You’ll see what I mean tonight” all dishes now clean, how convenient.

“Is this what you meant yesterday? Is that why you asked me about-“

“Yes, but you don’t believe in those things, it’s fine”

“We’ve really met before then? Isn’t creepy?”

“Not really, I mean, not literally”

“You think we are soulmates then?”

You shrugged

Wooden floor sounding loudly as you walked to a small coffee table where you’d put all your bags the day before. Everything you’d bought and everything Ellie had insisted on buying you. There were just a few bags, you didn’t want to carry much.

“I can’t believe you suddenly believe in all this” you chuckled “well, we both dreamt about it. It’ll be too creepy if it was just a coincidence or something” she was just following you through the apartment, walking behind you whenever you moved.

“Have any plans for today?” you we’re hoping she didn’t, it would’ve been cute to stay all day with her, or maybe go out again. But she nodded, she did have plans for today.

“Gotta go see my parents, family reunion or some shit” you hummed “then I’ll go already, I don’t want you to be late or anything”

“I won’t”

-

“You know if you bring a girl this is over” Ellie’s mom looked furious. Her dad was just sitting besides her, trying to calm her wife down and trying to convince Ellie to stay a little more to properly talk.

But both of them were so stubborn and easily blinded by anger. No one could really intervene once they started shouting at each other.

“What’s the matter with it? I’ve been a fucking perfect child for this entire family but I’m not allowed to do one thing for myself?” she was so mad, her fists tightening more and more every time her mother spoke back.

“You are, just….not something like this” her mom finally calmed down, sitting besides her husband and staring back at Ellie with the must blank expression ever. it was infuriating.

“We’ll it’s either her or you two, and I’m not gonna quit to my life anymore just to please you” the whole room stood in silence. Everyone could fill the tension but it was completely quiet.

“Then don’t ever dare to come back”

This words made everyone feel disgusted, an unexplainable shiver running trough the ambience, touching every inch of skin of those present.

“No… shit, mom I’m sorry alright? I just” the knot of tears forming on her throat didn’t allow her to speak properly “what am I supposed to do? why can’t you accept it?”

“Get a man Ellie, grow up and start acting like an adult”

“Why not a woman? If it’s about the money, she’s rich alright? She has a great job, she lives in my same building, you know it’s not-“

“She lives there?”

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.

“You’ll find another place then. I don’t want you to keep talking about this, I trust you’re gonna do the right thing”

-

You haven’t heard of Ellie since that day in the morning when you left to your apartment. You could hear her when she came back but decided not to bother.

She’d told you about her parents, how they weren’t so supportive now that she’s an adult. She’d told you how much it overwhelmed her the idea of visiting them or just having any type of contact with them.

And it’s not that you could do much about it either. You’d only have one date and knew her for almost two months so far so you weren’t quite sure about how to help or comfort her, also, you didn’t have the time to go and find out right now.

You were busy placing every new decor you’d bough with her and taking the chance to clean everything.

However you were thinking the whole day about her, well, the old Ellie you’ve met somewhere else. Could she have any effect on your new Ellie? on your new relationship?

It gave you anxiety to think about how she’d react when she knew what had happened, if she ever got to see it.

Would she understand? Would she hate you? Would she just ignore it? Would she even let you know If she knew what happened?

And the most darker and cozy the ambience got the more your anxiety grew, because you feared that night came and Ellie could see something that made things change. That maybe it’ll affect her as much as it did to you when you first saw it all.

You feared that the story could somehow repeat again, maybe as a karma type of thing. You feared that not you or her could handle it.

Because you’d wait her forever, you’d do anything for her. But something you did knew and something you were sure about was that whenever someone hurt her, she’d never forget about it, she won’t forgive, not easily.

10 pm

Weird to not have a single text from Ellie, she always sent you dumb stuff or tried to convince you to go with her to work or eat together.

“You haven’t texted me all day. U good?”

“Can you come over? I feel like shit”

“Wanna talk?”

“Just cuddle, hurry”

-

She’d been sleeping next to you for almost an hour now.

When you came in she didn’t say anything, her eyes looked puffy, her nose and cheeks were slightly red and her hair was a mess.

You decided not to ask any questions, she’ll tell you everything eventually, when she’s ready to talk about it.

You’d been running your hands trough her hair, caressing her back and arms, hugging her tightly and whispering to her how everything will be fine, how you wouldn’t leave her side ever. Reassuring her that you would stay as long as she needed. Until she fell asleep.

So now you were just cuddling with her. Arms around each other’s warm bodies, the whole apartment in complete silence, just Ellie’s heavy breathing as your hands kept on palming and caressing her back.

She started to cry on her sleep, saying random words and murmurs that made no sense. Whispering a bunch of unfinished phrases and letting out small whimpers.

You assumed maybe it was the stress, or whatever situation her parents had put her in some hours ago.

Until you heard your name. Could she be dreaming about the two of you again? Should you wake her up? Was she experiencing what you feared the most? So fast already? Maybe you-

Her eyes opened abruptly, letting out a loud gasp as if she was out of breath.

“Ellie, hey…. I’m here shhh” small pats on her back as she tried to compose herself. She was breathing extremely heavily “What happened?”.

Her eyes met yours and only there you realized about the tears on them, about the sweat on her face making some of her baby hairs stick on her face.

“You’re here” her body practically jumped to yours, embracing you with her arms, tightly “What is it? did you have a nightmare or something? El?” you could practically hear her heart beat, so loud and unsteady. Almost too fast.

She murmured something, her voice was too shaky and teary to speak properly “I don’t wanna lose you”

Your hands ran trough her hair, trying to not panic and make things worse for her. You leaned on her and kissed her head, gently.

“Good….”

-

“Why’d you do something like that?”

“What do you mean?”

“Leave everyone and everything like that”

“That wasn’t really me, don’t worry ab-“

“Just why? you had so much privilege and fucking friends, I was dating you, we were best friends”

She couldn’t go to sleep after that, she didn’t really tell you about the dream she had but you already knew.

And you thought she’d understand, but maybe you were wrong, maybe she never did and you just convinced yourself about it because you two were in love.

“I felt overwhelmed, I thought you-“

“I feel overwhelmed too but it’ll pass, there no fucking need of killing myself”

Was she being serious? How were you supposed to reply back?

“Is it because of your parents? We don’t need to talk about this if you’re not feeling like”

“No it’s not” it is “and It’s important that we talk about it because that fucking detail just changes everything, how am I supposed to live like this with you knowing you could do it again?”

You’d make her dinner this time, but at this point it wasn’t possible for either of you to even touch the food anymore.

“Did you see what happened after I died?” she nodded, maybe the lack of knowledge was troubling this whole thing. “Is that why you’re mad? I didn’t see it”

You were trying your best to not explode, but you felt like punching her right in the face. How could she speak like this about you? About everything?

How could she be so selfish and stupid right now.

“I’m mad about the whole situation, why’d you leave me and not even talk to me about it? Why didn’t you tell me how you were feeling? Why’d you have to be so selfish? I was left alone after that, your parents moved out of the town.”

So they did take care of her as you’ve asked them to. And she did search for them to have some support as you’ve insisted.

“That was someone else Ellie, things are different here. I won’t leave you, I’m fine”

“How do you know? if we met again is for a reason”

“To actually end together maybe?”

“I don’t think so”

The immediate regret on her face was something you’ve never seen before. But you’re now too focused on your own pain to care.

“You know, the reason of those letters, the reason of why I didn’t died earlier and the reason why I’m here right now, making you fucking dinner Is because I care about you more than I could ever care about myself”

You could feel the salad flavor of tears slowly appearing in your throat. The tears slowly blinding you as rage built in your heart. It was physically painful.

“And it sucks and I know it’s not how any of this should’ve been but it it’s, and we can’t change what we’ve experienced” she stood up from the chair she was eating at, almost running towards you “but I’ve tried over and over again to make us work, and I’m tired of you not understanding. You’re supposed to love me Ellie, why can’t you?”

“I really thought you’d get over it, I really thought you’d understand in this life too. But you always let the anger in you fuck everything”

She tried to hold you, to speak, anything to try and talk and not fuck yo things again. Because you were more than right and she knew it.

“I guess we’ve changed, maybe you’re right snd we are just not meant to be anymore”

“That’s not what I meant! my mom she- they don’t want me to be with you, I’m sorry I’ve been feeling like shit today, please let’s talk Mhm?”

Her hands were on your face, cleaning every tear that ran along your pretty eyes and your pretty nose, along your shaky lips and all the way to your jawline.

But you stopped her, because you didn’t care about any explanation she had now. It was fucking stupid from her to act the way she did and maybe she was right, maybe you two weren’t meant to be.

Maybe it was all an illusion.

“I’m mad at them and you’re right, I let the anger blind me but I’ll promise I’ll control it. Just let’s talk, please” you wouldn’t reply, not verbally or physically and it made her feel so horrible to see you like this.

“She wants me to stay away from you, but I chose you over them. I love you, I really do-“

“I’ll make her a favor then”

Hopefully it was an illusion.

[hyuckbeam]

hit or miss

you’re given a bet by your own best friend to finally earn you some kissing experience at the ripe age of 18, but what if he’s the one you’ve been wanting to kiss all along?

pairing | bff!haechan x reader

genre | fluff, just a bit of angst

warnings | y/n uses she/her pronouns, both y/n and hyuck are dumdums! kind of slow burn, curse words are explicitly mentioned, cousin!winter, i think that’s all but lmk if i missed anything!

wc | 4.3k words

note | this is pretty inspired by the webtoon “the kiss bet” because i currently have a hyper fixation on it and i absolutely love all the characters ;0; this is also way longer than intended but anyways,, i hope u enjoy! all rbs and likes are appreciated, thank you <3

D-15.

“in three, two, one, happy birthday, y/n!” your best friend, haechan announces aloud for everyone in your apartment complex to hear at 12 in the morning.

“come on! make a wish before the candles blow out!” winter, your cousin, urges you with a big smile on her face.

having just finished your night time routine and prepared yourself for a night's worth of sleep, you were rather shocked to see them with one of those trendy bento cakes and rainbow colored party hats adorning their heads.

despite your confusion, you walk up towards them with a grateful smile resting upon your lips. “seriously, when did you guys plan this?”

“oh, it was all my- ow, hey!” haechan gets cut off midway through his statement because of a nudge from winter’s elbow.

“what he was trying to say was it was all my doing. you’re welcome bubs!” your cousin beams, eyes creasing into crescents. “though i’d wish you’d hurry up. this cake isn’t holding itself up for you, y’know?” she adds on rather playfully but you can tell she truly meant it.

gathering a deep breath, you blow out the candles and cheers erupt from the people you deem closest to you. winter then sets down the cake on your coffee table in relief as your best friend slings his arm over your shoulder.

“sooo y/n, got anything planned for the year? a small resolution or something like that, i don’t know.” he rambles off, suggesting the idea of having a goal to work towards now that you were deemed an adult (though, haechan kept referring to this as the year that marks your jail-ability era).

you feel a little tingly from his touch, even when you know the two of you are just friends and nothing more. what you’re feeling is probably just a phase. it’ll go away.

“i’m not really sure, got any ideas for me?” you ask the two instead, eyeing them both in a back and forth motion.

“we can always work on that dating experience of yours- last i remember, it was up to the high number count of… zero.” your cousin chips in from the side as she slices the cake for the three of you to share, her tone sarcastic while she teases you.

it’s true, you didn’t have a lot (re: any) of experience in the dating sector, but perhaps that could change starting this year. “that… might not be such a bad idea.”

haechan’s interest seems to have been piqued — he’s making that look. that specific expression where the corners of his lips turn upwards, a brow raised, and that glint in his eye. oh, you know it all too well.

“come on.” you urge the boy. “start sharing your idea. i can practically see your mind ready to explode.”

“well, since you’ve asked me ever so kindly. how ‘bout a bet?” he starts, taking a few steps towards you with that cocky expression of his. “i bet you 10 dollars to kiss someone in two months. not that hard, right?”

“what- you want me to kiss some random person for 10 bucks?” you gawk out in surprise.

he only shakes his head, “i never said it needed to be a stranger. just, someone in general.”

you processed the idea thoroughly, running all sorts of possible scenarios in your head. wouldn’t it be much easier to kiss… haechan himself? that just seemed like the most plausible approach for you.

he wasn't a stranger — the furthest from one. you were comfortable with him. the kiss didn’t have to mean anything (though it might mean a tiny bit more to you), and in addition, you’d be making some cash.

everything seemed to check out. the only problem was that you had to ask him to kiss you. still, surely this was better than any other alternative, right?

“i’ll do it but… can’t i just kiss you and get it over with?” you finally voice out your thoughts, pretending to make your question sound playful in case the request backfires on you.

“you’re my best friend, that’s a little odd, don’t you think so?” haechan replies in the same tone, lightly ruffling your hair before going over to retrieve a slice of cake from winter.

ouch. way to have your first bit of “dating experience” be your best friend… friend zoning you. what a lovely start to your 18th birthday.

D-13.

a few days had passed since the bet you made with haechan had been established, but not one ounce of progress had been made.

to be fair, how were you supposed to kiss someone else when all you’ve ever wanted was for that kiss to be with your best friend? that’s tough luck.

you attending classes today doesn’t really help with your thoughts either, especially when both haechan and winter had been asking about said progress one after the other.

you’d be lying if they weren’t starting to give you a headache.

as if on cue, winter approaches you, some lecture books in hand and her bag slung on her shoulder. “y/n! how’s your progress?” here we go again.

“just as i told you yesterday, nothing yet.” you reply with a small sigh.

winter senses the frustration behind your words, encouraging her to suggest ideas to help you. “how about finding someone you like? it might make it easier for you know… to kiss them.”

“i don’t think that’s still a good- actually, you might just be onto something, minjeong.” your gears start to churn in your mind. in order to wash haechan off your mind, you might as well find someone else and maybe get an actual relationship out of it.

the idea was just perfect for you.

“have i ever told you how much i love you? i gotta go but i’ll see you after class, winter!” you excitedly bid her a goodbye, rushing to your classroom so you could better plan out your new gameplan.

though the most ideal situation was long gone, you now had a back up plan and you weren’t going to back down so easily from the bet.

you were now busily scribbling on your notepad, forgetting that a new student was to transfer into your class today. the teacher calls upon your attention and as you look up, your eyes land on a boy with great resemblance to a cute bunny.

apparently he’s the new transfer student.

the teacher gives him a moment to introduce himself. “hello everyone, my name is na jaemin. i hope we all get along!” so that’s his name, you thought to yourself.

surprisingly, he was told to take the seat in front of yours, offering you a small smile and a curt wave, one that you gladly return, before he takes his seat.

actually, maybe you really could forget haechan for just a teensy bit.

D-6.

a week goes by without haechan seeing you once. an entire week. was he always this eager to see you? to bask in the warm sight that is you? he thinks he must be going crazy.

the only time he ever gets updates about you is through winter which aren’t much to go on. he does remember a key detail she mentioned previously about how you’ve been spending time with that new student, jaemin.

what was so special about him anyways? well, he was surely going to find out soon.

as the bell rings to signal the start of recess, he dashes out of his classroom, taking big steps towards yours.

there, haechan finds you in his seat and he’s about to approach you until he sees you’re in the middle of a conversation with the one and only, na jaemin.

“this is how you do this, right?” jaemin asks you, directing your sight to a piece of paper that has a bunch of math formulas written on it.

“yeah! i’m surprised you got that rather quickly.” you compliment the boy in front of you with a small laugh.

your thoughts on jaemin have changed drastically since the first time you met him. he’s a sweet boy, someone you could never take advantage of. it just felt wrong to you so you just dropped your entire plan as a whole.

it was alright to lose the bet. at least you kind of made a new friend out of it, right? you smile to yourself at that thought.

to haechan, however, your smile is so bright in jaemin’s presence, it’s practically blinding everyone in sight. have you ever smiled at him like that? wait- why does that matter?

he doesn’t like you, no way.

you’re best friends, yeah. his love for you is as platonic as can be — at least that’s what he tells himself.

for someone as bold as haechan, he can’t seem to find the confidence in him to walk towards your table and steal your attention. instead, he steps out of the classroom, unnoticed by you.

D-5.

“JAEMIN DID WHAT!?” haechan yells into his phone, winter being on the receiving end of the call.

the girl tuts, “scream one more time and i’m hanging up on you. and yes, i heard he confessed to y/n. i don’t think she gave him an answer though.”

“sorry, look, i was just really surprised.” a deep sigh comes out from haechan before the call goes silent. he takes the time to process the situation, but the idea of you and jaemin being together just rubs him off the wrong way.

“doesn’t she see how bad he is for her?” he finally reasons out.

“uhuh, in what sense exactly?” winter retorts.

“he’s probably just using her to gain attention or something! can’t i look out for my own best friend?” the response is laughable, even to haechan, but he goes along with it.

winter laughs into the call, “are you even hearing yourself? that’s pretty baseless, even for you haechan.” she replies shortly afterwards. “seems to me like you’re jealous.”

“are you hearing yourself, winter? no i’m not! get your head screwed on properly!” haechan answers back in the same incredulous manner as she did to him just a few seconds ago. “who would i even be jealous of?”

“jaemin. who else? i think it’s pretty clear to most. you aren’t that great at managing your feelings, y’know-” the girl’s voice cuts off for a second, “-oh, i’m being called to dinner now but seriously, get yourself together haechan. i know you like my cousin. bye!”

the line goes beep and haechan tosses his phone onto his bed. she really did just leave him hanging like that. how could she after bringing that idea up?!

jealous? not a chance. haechan never gets jealous.

D-4.

haechan wakes up the next day feeling tired, having not slept a wink after winter’s words kept replaying in his head.

i know you like my cousin.

you like my cousin.

you like her.

and these same words follow him as he makes it all the way to school. perhaps seeing you in school would help him understand his feelings better.

he really just wants this to be over with.

with trudged steps, he makes his way to your classroom and luckily enough for him, there you were already in class before the first bell rang.

he blames it on the lack of sleep but you look so ethereal sitting down in your chair as you bop your head lightly to the music that’s presumably playing on your earphones.

the sight is something to behold- that is until he pivots his head ever so slightly and sees jaemin accompanying you. god, why does he have to be there.

so maybe haechan does get jealous. sometimes.

maybe that’s why he acts without thinking, swiftly dragging you from your chair and out to the school courtyard despite your protests.

“hyuck let me go-” you grumble, tugging on your arm but he doesn’t budge one bit. it’s only when you reach a bench in the furthest part of the courtyard he decides to get go of your wrist.

“seriously, what is wrong with you?” you scoff out in disbelief. “this is the first time we’ve spoken in days. i think you could’ve just asked me if you really wanted to talk.” with the addition of those words, haechan finally realizes what he’s done. he knows it was wrong but he isn’t going to back down from the argument that was brewing between you two.

“me? how about you? you’ve been so lovey dovey with mr. perfect all this time! don’t you have yourself to blame on why we haven’t seen each other in so long?” he spat out coldly.

your heart sinks, and yet, you can’t help but feel even more enraged. its true, you’re part of the reason for the lack of communication between you two. after all, communication is a two way system. but doesn’t that also mean he’s also to blame?

“i enjoy jaemin’s company a lot! is that so wrong?” you shoot back, biting your bottom lip before mumbling the latter part of your statement. “at least he isn’t as grumpy as the person standing in front of me.”

ouch.

the boy hears this and gets ticked off even more. maybe it really is the lack of sleep but he seriously can’t understand her reasoning anymore. instead, he assumes she’s just doing all of this for the bet.

“do you really want to win the bet so bad? if that’s what you want, just kiss me and be over with it. i’m literally letting you win. you can stop seeing jaemin now.”

and that’s when it hits you a little.

why is he bringing the bet up all of a sudden when you just want a genuine relationship with jaem- oh. he couldn’t possibly see you as someone like that right? he said it himself! he doesn’t like you and even denied your request to kiss him a few weeks ago.

but, if that were all true, what other explanation would there be to his actions?

he takes your silence as a no, prompting him to leave you in the courtyard all alone.

you couldn’t seem to understand him at all no matter how hard you tried.

as soon as you got home from classes that same day, you rushed yourself back home and into the comfort of your bed and pillows — treating them as if they were your closest confidants and cried while you shared your troubles.

it wasn’t productive on your end but it was much needed for you to at least think straight. you’d been bottling your contemplations all day long after all.

here you are laying lifeless on your bed, using all your braincells to dicern what the fuck happened earlier this morning.

you know haechan doesn’t like you. you’ve said it to yourself so many times now.

maybe he’s just jealous you’ve been spending more time with jaemin because, although you have different intentions before, you realized you couldn’t see him in that way nor had the heart to just use him for your own gain.

haechan was a different story though. you feel flushed just thinking about him, knowing full well the both of you are in the middle of an argument between each other.

remembrance of the frustration hits, making you groan at the thought of having to remedy it. if you and haechan had anything in common, it would be the stubbornness you both share.

the last time you both got into an argument this big was back in junior high. neither of you spoke to the other for an entire month. it got so bad that both your parents had to call each other up to devise a way to get an apology out from the both of you.

though it would make the entire situation much easier, your parents no longer delve into these types of problems — and neither do haechan’s. you’re both all alone to fix this one yourselves and you wish you’d been more grateful to your parents for mending your relationship with haechan.

deep down, you already know the both of you will struggle to find the right timing, but you certainly hope that day would come soon. you didn’t exactly like being away from him either (even if he made you feel like shit for the rest of the day).

you decide to sleep off your worries for the night, hoping and praying that tomorrow would be a better day for you.

D-3.

tomorrow is not any better of a day.

jaemin and haechan both invited you to eat with them for lunch which quickly escalated into a light argument between the two. you couldn’t even bring yourself to butt into their conversation, seeing how they were fighting over something so silly.

“i’m her best friend, we do this pretty much everyday!” you hear haechan yell at jaemin, his frustration for the other getting the best of him. “plus, i need to talk with her. without you.”

“if the two of you are just best friends, then what gives you the right to dictate her answers?” jaemin fires back, keeping a calm and collected appearance throughout.

this shuts haechan up and the entire cafeteria goes dead silent. oh boy, did you want to curl up into a little hole. everyone was staring and you didn’t like that one bit.

nevertheless, you decided to be the bigger person — uttering a small apology to jaemin before walking off to the table you usually sat at with haechan — the latter following you a few steps behind.

neither of you speak as you begin to eat your separate meals, another sign the relationship between you two was starting to fade out into dust.

winter joins your lunch table shortly after witnessing the drama unfold, she looks at haechan with an unreadable expression and the boy stays quiet during the whole meal.

didn't he say he wanted to talk? an apology for the day before would have been nice.

you get fed up by the silence, placing your food back on the tray before picking it up. you mutter a quiet “i can’t seem to understand you at all.” directed at hyuck before leaving and switching over to the table where jaemin and his friends are sitting.

it all happened too fast and haechan didn’t realize you were leaving until you already did. he really did want to talk but how was he supposed to do that after having that situation with jaemin?

he wanted to calm down first but you had other plans. you really left him in shambles this time.

winter can’t help but sigh at the ongoing conflict. she silently wishes she wasn’t involved this much if it was going to turn out like this.

D-2.

haechan knows he truly has to make it up to you (including a long overdue explanation of why he’s been acting weirdly the past few days) but doesn’t know how to do that. apologies never came easy to him. his mind couldn’t help but go blank everytime he tried thinking of a way to approach you without making things more complicated than they already are.

the sheer amount of times he’s hit a brick wall has him calling the only person who probably knows more about you than he, himself, does.

he picks up his phone, searching through his contacts before landing on a single person, now waiting for the phone to ring.

“hello?” winter’s voice reaches him through the call. “i knew you’d call after what happened at the cafeteria.”

it takes a moment for haechan to answer, “maybe if jaemin wasn’t so aggressive–”

“you both were. now spill, have you gotten your feelings sorted yet?” the girl pushes his dramatics aside, getting straight to the point.

“i… think i do. you were right all along.” haechan finishes. although it was hard for him to admit at first, now that he’s actually said it out loud, it might be the first time he’s been feeling a sense of clarity after so long.

winter hums at his confession. “at least you’re finally taking a step in the right direction. now, to win her back…” she smiles to herself, already having a plan in mind.

you, on the other hand, have been seeing haechan and winter together often for the past week. naturally, your mind begins to wonder if your own cousin is the reason why haechan rejected you way back during your small birthday celebration.

the evidence matches up pretty well — he probably couldn’t reject you directly because she was in the room with the two of you that day. he isn’t spending as much time with you anymore because he’s spending time with her.

they look good together.

those words linger in your head more than you’d like to admit.

you feel cast aside by the people you’ve known practically your entire life but you don’t have much of a choice but to return to jaemin’s company. after all, you chose to eat the rest of your lunch at his table instead of the one that brought familiarity to you.

D-DAY.

day after day, the two of you just seemed to grow even more distant and you wondered if the end of your long-term friendship was nigh approaching. you barely saw him roaming through the halls of campus anymore, much less your cousin.

you didn’t dislike the new friend group you had (jaemin introducing you to his friends after you finally told him about your situation with haechan, but you couldn’t help but feel… dissatisfied with your current situation.)

as your class ends, you prepare yourself for another silent walk home. despite having those new friends, you felt lonelier than you ever had. you missed them. you missed him. and yet, life seemed to have other plans for you.

even trudging down these halls filled with other students made you lonely.

truthfully, you would do anything to have them back- a pain to your forehead snaps you out of your thoughts. you had bumped into someone. well, not just someone, but the person you’ve been longing for the most.

haechan. he was right in front of you after who knows how long it’s been.

you felt like crying on the spot but held in your emotions to appear like your life was anything but lost. haechan knew that look on your face, presuming you haven’t been well ever since the two of you have spoken. he takes your hands that have slumped to your sides into his, and the small gesture reminded you of the warmth he’d bring into your life.

“are you up for a short conversation perhaps?” you only nod and he takes that as a signal in the right direction, though, he isn’t used to you acting around him like this. oh boy, this was going to be more than a short conversation.

haechan leads you into the gymnasium and the two of you sit down by the bleachers with no sight of other students in the area.

“before you get mad- i wanted to apologize first. i shouldn’t have acted the way i did. i was childish.” he begins, holding eye contact with you to show his sincerity. “frankly, i was jealous. jealous you spent more time with jaemin, and you seemed to enjoy you time with him more than the times we hang out together. i shouldn’t have made you feel sad in any way, but i did and that’s completely my fault. i’m sorry.” you know his words hold both his feelings and the truth.

he wasn’t going to lie to you. he never once did during the time you knew each other.

however, what he admitted to had you flustered.

he was jealous of you and jaemin? it was a little hard to believe until you remembered the latter confessed to you the past week. oh god, did word of that spread out? nevermind that, what happened between you and jaemin was the least of your worries, the boy in front of you was. what if haechan got the wrong idea from the rumors?

“it’s not completely your fault. we both were pretty stubborn.” you reply, a soft chuckle leaving your lips to ease the tension between you two. “and if… if you’re curious, i never returned jaemin’s feelings back.

haechan gets pretty taken aback by your statement, now wondering why you brought it up. “oh… i know.”

“you knew? did winter tell you?” you question in anticipation. “i guess the both of you are pretty close now.”

“she did but i swear our friendship is nothing like that!” it was his turn to get flustered. “she could never replace your spot in my life.”

“i’m a little confused though after all of this…” you gesture out, referring to the situation that has just recently moved past you two. “what spot do i even have?”

he pauses, taking his time to think of the right words he wants to tell you but they all get stuck in his throat. the expression on your face showed how you took his silence negatively, prompting him to speak. “i like you. i couldn’t admit it even to myself for the longest time and-” having enough of his rambling, you inch a little closer and give him a kiss on the lips.

it’s brief, and yet, it continues to linger on his lips. “you kissed me.”

“why do you think i never gave jaemin an answer to jaemin’s confession?”

“so you were really saving it for me? i’m honored.” he chuckles out, playfully holding his hand to his chest.

“well, you should be.” you add on with the same bright smile he’s seen you flash at jaemin, except this time, it was absolutely for him.

“i guess that also means you won the bet?” he recalls, a brow raising at you.

you give him a light nudge on his shoulder while suppressing a giggle, “oh, shut up and just kiss me. you owe me 10 bucks by the way.”

tags !!

[xtransmasc-reader-scenariosx]

Long Term Love with Azumane Asahi

Pairing: Azumane Asahi/Trans Male reader Warnings: Mentions of Dysphoria, references to sex Summary: Despite growing up together, despite dating since before middle school started, despite everything really, sometimes how much Azumane loves you still catches you off guard.

You've spent your whole life with Asahi, or at least all of it that your remember, he's been your next door neighbor since elementary school and your boyfriend since the summer of your fifth year. Every major milestone has been spent together. Everything that there is to feel with another person has been felt, and still, despite it all, Asahi still sweeps you off your feet. Often without meaning to. He's always been bigger than you, and when you first met him it was terrifying. You thought he was older than you, and like most older kids, was going to terrorize you, but he didn't. And once you found the bravery to stop hiding behind your mother and talk with him things changed. You learned he was in your grade, although not your class, and you went to the same school. He sought you out after that. He'd never met someone with so many things different from him and he found you interesting. You balanced each other out, his calm and quiet eased your rough and tumble tendencies. Listening as you shouted your way through arguments you could have won if he hadn't pulled you away, letting you get the anger out before finishing your walk home.

You like to think you were the one that fell first, Asahi will argue this point until he's blue in the face, but privately, you're certain. It was when you were finally sure of yourself, when you knew you were a boy not a girl. When after months of fearing what he would say you bit the bullet and brought it up. He was confused and after a lengthy explanation on your end he only smiled. "It... I'm glad you told me, but it doesn't change things between us. I'll be by your side as long as you'll have me Y/N, that's what friends are for." He put an arm over your shoulder keeping you close, "And now we can get you on the boys team for real." You couldn't help the laugh that escaped you at that, because of course that would be his main concern, "I am perfectly content watching from the bleachers thanks."

Asahi is the one that confessed first, and even then it was more of him stating a thought than revealing anything. It just came out and it felt like the world froze for a moment. You could still remember what you were doing at the time. You were both in Asahi's room going over the pros and cons of different high schools and you had made a comment about how you could pull off the Karasuno boy's uniform and probably pass in it and how nice it would be to finally just be seen as you were without having to explain things. "You know you'd look good in anything right? You don't have to say you like the uniform just because I wanna go to school there. I would still love you just as much even if we went to different schools." He didn't look up from his brochure until after you'd been staring at him for quite a while. It was only after he caught your eye that he seemed to realize what he said. "You love me?" You echo, and he nods too embarrassed to speak and you grinned, "Oh thank god, because I've had a massive crush on you since middle school." He goes red and just laughs. Things don't change too much after that since you and Asahi where already pretty free with your affections.

It's your third year and Asahi has finally rejoined the team and you were back to sitting in the bleachers as you watched practice instead of avoiding the building all together. It was nice, even if the first years were a bit much. After they'd interrogated Asahi they had moved onto you. What position do you play? I don't. Then why are you here? To support my boyfriend, and the rest of the team. Why haven't we seen you around before? Because Asa just came back. It went on and on until the warm up whistle, and without a second thought Asahi kissed the top of your head and jogged off to meet the rest of the team. And you just stood there a little uselessly for a moment, overwhelmed with affection. Then its finals season and you can't remember the last time you slept. You had to study, you had to make sure Asahi studied because you were pretty sure Takeda wasn't kidding about barring anyone with failing marks from the away games and that would break Asahi all over again and you just got him back. And then there is a cup of green tea where your studying materials had just been. It snaps you back to yourself and you look up to see Asahi standing beside your desk with a smile. "Let's have some tea, stretch a little, and then come back to this." You agree, even though you know what is going to happen after you stretch is definitely not going to be studying, and sleep will follow soon after, and tomorrow you'll try again with similar results. Finals will go fine as they always do.

Then, they're standing on the top of the world and you couldn't be prouder. The bubble bursts of course when a reckless reporter refers to you as Asahi's girlfriend. It hasn't happened in years, but the offhand remark already has your skin feeling too tight. Everyone that needs to know does, and Asa had corrected the reporter with surprising sternness, but the damage had been done. But before you can retreat too far, there is Asahi. Bent to your level with a serious expression. "Don't mind her." He says, and you almost snap about how it's not that easy, "It's hard I know. But i am with you and I will remind you how ever many times it takes that you are the boy i have loved my whole life."

[greazyfloz]

10 call me when ur sober w drysdale!

Angst: 10. "Call me when you're sober" w/ Jamie Drysdale

Immature

Jamie just turned 21, and every weekend since we’ve been going out to the bars. It was fun at first but Jamie gets really goofy to the point He is just childish. I honestly never got really upset about it because he could turn into an angry drunk instead, he’s just very immature.

Some of the things he says, are questionable, or their jokes that end up hurting my feelings slightly. Tonight we are all sitting at the bar table, and Jamie begins telling them a story that involves some pretty dirty details.

“Jamie no“ I say, as he Continues with the story, and he looks at me

“why babe it’s funny“ he laughs out, taking a swig of his beer, “ random parking lot she just took her pants off”

All the guys are laughing when I shake my head covering my face, “Jamie, stop”

“it’s okay” he laughs again, “they’ll think it’s funny”

“Jamie, you’re embarrassing me”

“we all have slutty moments“ he says, referring back to a story

“what is that supposed to mean?” I ask him as at this point I was embarrassed to the point that I was getting angry with him.

“you were kind of a slut” he says laughing, but I he can tell that I’m not laughing, “it’s okay I liked it”

The rest of the guys at the table saw that I was angry, and stopped laughing, and just looked between Jamie and I. One of the boys excuse himself from the table, and the rest followed, leaving Jamie and I there.

“babe don’t be a buzz kill” Jamie says, watching his friends leave the table

“I’m too sober for this and you’re too drunk, call me when you’re sober” I say as I got up, knowing this is going to turn into a fight.

“fine I’ll see you later then“ he says, is slightly hurt, my feelings that he didn’t wanna resolve it now. but I’m glad he didn’t in a public place.

“no I’m going home. To my apartment” I say walking out of the bar, then down to my apartment. I typically stay at Jamie and Trevor’s even when they’re out of town. we were almost at the stage where I was completely moved into his and I would sublet my lease to someone. But it’s nights like these where we getting stupid fights I’m glad I still have my apartment.

The next morning, I woke up to over 20 text messages and missed calls from Jamie. I skim through the messages and they all basically say the same thing about how he’s sorry he didn’t mean to embarrass me or hurt my feelings. I decide to call him even though I know he still asleep since it is pretty early and he had a late night. the phone only rings it once or twice before he picks up.

“Hey Y/n, I’m so sorry. You were right I shouldn’t of said anything like that about the personal stuff between us. and I’m sorry I called you a slut. I really didn’t mean it in a bad way, but I know I shouldn’t of said it at all. please come back sleeping in his bed without you so weird and I hate it.” he says before I even got a chance to say hi

“ I know you’re sorry. But Jimmy, every time you drink, you act so childish. I’m not your mother I’m your girlfriend and if this is going to work, you’re gonna have to listen to me when I tell you that you’re drinking too much. And in last nights case, if you are embarrassing, me with personal stuff, you need to stop when I tell you to stop”

“I know, I promise you with every ounce of my being that I will never ever embarrass you like that again. And I promise you I didn’t finish the story after you left”

“good, I’m glad you finally listen to me after I left”

“ yeah cause I didn’t want you to leave. Can you please come over I miss you.”

“Okay, I guess I’ll let you go to the doghouse” I say, with a little laugh, making him laugh along as well.

[l-starlight-l]

Meeting the brothers

A/n: it’s been foreverrrre since I posted, but I’m thinking about making a cute series of smaller story’s that all go together.

Description: Jason finally can get everyone out of the manor so you two can have alone time, but it doesn’t last long.

Pairings: Jason Todd x reader

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:Reference:

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Jason had finally invited you over to his father’s manor. You were so excited, you had heard stories about how Luxurious it was. When you got there all the excitement in your stomach turned to anxiety. The place was huge, and I mean like castle huge. What we’re your boyfriends fancy rich family gonna think of not so fancy you. You took a few deep breaths and knocked in a harmonious pattern on the oak door. After a minute a kind looking old man in a butlers outfit opens the door.

“Ah you must be miss y/n” he greets you with a smile

“Oh um yes I’m here to see Jason” you mutter feeling very shy. They’re so rich they have a butler, this is crazy.

“He’s in the Library, I’m quite suprised how hard he worked to get you here. The rest of the family is out of the house” he said with a small smirk, he held the door while you walked into the manor.

A sigh of relief fell over you when he said that it would only be you and Jason here. You were only a little intimidated by the stories he would tell you about his family. You stepped through the doors and were taken back by the beauty of the inside. It was decorated with such style and absolutely spotless. You took another deep breath, a warm aroma filled your nose. It was the smell of fresh baked cookies, a smile spread across your lips at the thought of tasting Alfred’s famous cookies.

“If you walk down this hall” Alfred said gesturing towards a very long hallway, “the library is the last door on the left”. You thanked him for the direction and you made your way to Jason. When you got to the end of the hallway, you stood in front of doors two times as tall as you. You pushed the very heavy door open and walked into the book filled room. There you saw Jason sitting in a very comfy looking chair with his nose deep in a book. He looked up when he heard the door close behind you. He met your eyes with a smile, god you loved his smile. He closed the book and got up to great you.

“Hey sweetheart” he said with love while pulling you into a hug. He kissed the top of your head. You wrapped your arms around his firm torso. “I was just finishing that book I was reading yesterday” he said with joy.

You released from the hug and looked up at him, “you’re so amazing” you say dumb found.

He laughs and looks back down at you smirking. “how so” he questions.

You spread out your arms showing the huge bookshelves that cover three walls of the room and go up to the ceiling. “I mean look at this room, it’s huge” you laugh and spin taking in the library. “And you have a butler, you are soooo rich” you stop your spin and look at him, “and you’re kind and handsome” you smile and gaze at him. His toned body, his jet black hair with an adorable streak of white, his beautiful eyes. Everything about him is so overwhelming.

You slowly walk over to him, cup his face and give him a quick kiss. You go to release from the kiss but he grabs you pulling you back in. The kiss deepens and you both stumble over to the couch in the middle of the room. You fall back hitting the couch and he stands over you. He leans towards you for another kiss when there’s a knock on the door. You pop up now standing next to Jason.

“Relax sweetheart it’s just Alfred” he says putting a soothing hand on the dip of your back. The door opens and Alfred is standing there with a tray of cookies. Your body relaxes and you smile at the man.

“Sorry to interrupt but I’ve brought snacks” he apologizes while setting the tray down on a side table by the door. He turns back towards the door, “call me if you need me”. He leaves with a kind nod to you and Jason.

You gaze at the door and then at the table with the cookies. Jason walks over to the tray and picks it up “care for a picnic my lady” he says with a wink. You giggle and nod. he points to a tan colored blanket, “Take that blanket on the couch we can set it up outside”. You grab it and follow him out the back doors in the library that leads to the Wayne manor gardens.

You lay the blanket down in a peaceful grassy area and Jason places the tray down in the middle of the picnic blanket. He pulls you down to sit with him. “Stop being so nervous, it’s just us” he places a gentle kiss on your forehead and offers you a cookie. “Your house is just so big, it’s intimidating” you say as you take a bite of the cookie. “Oh my god these are so good” you say looking up at Jason who’s smiling down at you. “Alfred is the best baker I know” he smirks, “I asked him to bake you a special batch” he winks and lays on his back.

You finish the cookie and lay down beside him. Your head resting on his chest while y’all look at the cloudy sky. You point at a weird shaped cloud, “that one kinda looks like a flower”. Jason smiles and points at another cloud, “and that one’s shaped like a Robin”. You both laugh and continue your little game. You sit back up to grab another cookie. You turn back to look at Jason whose still laying down looking at the sky. “Wanna smoke” you ask him. “Of course I do sweet heart” he sits up and grabs his lighter. He puts a cigarette between your lips and lights it. You watch him as he does it, he’s beautiful. You breath in and inhale the smoke, then breath it out. You pass it to Jason and lay back down. Jason leans over you and kisses you, it startles you but you kiss him back. He deepens the kiss and you wrap you arms around his neck.

You two are now heavily making out. He’s completely on top of you and all your nerves have disappeared. You’re only focusing on him and how hot it is when he towers over you like this. Lost in each other you don’t realize you’ve been caught. Water sprays at you and soaks Jason. He jumps up and you sit there in shock, barely wet due to Jason being on top. You look up to and see Alfred and Tim standing there watching you two. You blush seeing a hose in Alfred hand and Tim laughing his ass off.

“What the fuck” Jason yells in anger. Alfred shakes his head

“master Todd there is no smoking and you know that”. You roll over and hide in your hands super embarrassed. Jason crouches down and puts a hand on your back.

“Come on let’s go inside sweetheart, I’m so sorry about this” he helps you up and smiles at your bright red face.

As you are walking into the manor a dark haired boy a little older than you laughs and says “quiet the show you were putting on out there”. Jason’s looks furious “shut up dick”. Jason takes you to a guest room so you can both clean up and dry off. Once your cleaned up he introduces you to his two brothers who has came back from a mission earlier then expected. You got along with him quite well and became closer to Jason.

——————————————————————————

[havin-fun-imagining-twd]

Scary as a sleepy kitten

When - 10 or so minutes after He hasn't been himself, which takes place during the Chupacabra episode of Season 2

What - the finishing touches on Daryl's medical care, how Andrea's handling almost mistakenly killing the guy. You assure her that he's about as scary as a sleepy kitten right then. Then, there's digesting big bro Shane's descent from morality along with Daryl's simultaneous growth in it. Bonus is a hint regarding the Greene's barn. So sad there aren't any barn cats in there anymore, wonder what happened...

Genre - a little angsty, a little fluffy, a little found-family.

Who - You, Mangy Hick (that's Daryl), Patricia, Andrea, Papa Dale and his not good book, and sweet little Beth (who's got the same headcanon from the Fabulously Confident Reader stories about liking choose-your-own-adventure books)

Perspective - 2nd person, and 3rd Daryl

Pronouns - did GN again this time

TWs - some language, otherwise you just have a brief blow-up. The day's been something else, y'all

Length? - 10-15 minutes

References - when Daryl made that funny in Like a traditional Sunday dinner, the incident with Ed as seen in "Deserved" Part 1 but mostly Part 2 and its cooldown in It's not the end of the wo - oh. There's the continuation of big brother Shane's descent, a slow progression in a bulk of the chapters. Be sure to check out Invisible Tugging Strings, Part 1 and Part 2 , then Spell your last name, please. as well as He hasn't been himself

Official Masterlist here (find fabulously confident reader there!) and the Chronological Slowpoke Masterlist here

have fun and happy reading!

Apologies for the lengthy delay, slowpokes, my brain has been on power-saver for about a month, might could be evident in the chapter, too XD

...........................................

“Guess I'll just move this arm like a robot—oh-ho, check it, I can still do the tomahawk chop, y’all!”

And yeah, then his friend proceeds to make barely one and a half chops before wincing. The slight pout that forms afterward makes him want to smile, it’s damn cute.

“Hurt more than I thought it would.”

The twangy blonde lady looks entertained. “Tell me why, Y/N.”

Their pout turns more embarrassed. “…Movin’ the forearm requires these here muscles.”

He liked that their accent revved up more with the blonde lady—sorry, her name’s Patricia, he knows, got it.

“Which affects what?” Patricia asks.

“My shoulder and chest.”

“Which are injured and got irritated something serious today, along with what I’m fairly sure is maybe your C6 and 7, maybe the T1, whenever you first got hurt.”

“Yes, ma’am,” they mumble.

Stop thinking Y/N looks cute. Also, what were those letter-number things?

Sighing, his friend stares at their upper arm.

So, during the, like, he doesn’t know, 5 minutes or whatever it was when the old man helped him slump to the bathroom so he could finally take a piss, Y/N’s upper arm was wrapped to their torso to prevent them from hurting it more. They keep overdoing it, and they keep taking their damn sling off, so Patricia made a compromise, he guesses.

And after doing a modeling-pose type thing with their wrapped arm and asking who was wearing their gauze better, them or him, Y/N immediately tried to do the tomahawk chop and move like a robot and why is he finding that so damn cute right now?.

Patricia winks at Y/N. “Name some of the muscles up there and I won’t put the rest in a sling."

You

“Ooh, bicep, tricep,” basics out of the way. “This, um, one of these over here is the brachialis, this is the deltoid, the teres major’s under here.” You got that muscle wrong on an anatomy midterm back during college and never forgot about it. “This here is the trapezius.” Because the dudes who do the trapeze at the circus got real big ones (or at least that’s how you remember it). “And, well, the clavicle is this bone, so the bone under it is the scapula, which means right about here’s the subscapularis muscle,” that she said you may have hurt, “Oh, duh, then ‘the major one is the pectoralis.’ And—”

“—Okay, no sling.”

Phew. “Thank you!”

“For now, anyway. Meanwhile, Hersh is givin’ me a look, let’s get to cleaning our friend, here.”

Him

The funny part is, as Patricia left, she made a face and said, “I don’t remember most of the muscle or bone names, I just took Y/N's word for it. Now, Daryl, don’t go gettin’ out of bed, stay put.”

Now he’s finally laying down, nothing else to be done to him. He’s so damn tired.

He’s scrubbed up, too. Got a big-ass bandage over his head, wrapped all around. That was a trip; Patricia and Y/N washed his head and neck over a bowl. He counted the seconds til it was over, half-listened to whatever they were chatting about to distract himself.

Once he was bound up like a cartoon character and given instruction to not get it wet, Hershel came back and walked him to the bathroom again, this time to clean everything else off.

There was a little stool thing in the shower, with the shower hose on the ground instead of hanging. “Don’t get your head or the bandage wet. There's a waterproof cover over the dressing on your side that you'll have to remove when you're finished. Now, I imagine you prefer total privacy, but if you need the help, I can assist, or I can get your friend Theodore, if your prefer.”

“M’fine.”

The simple response “I’ll be outside the door, Daryl,” surprised him. Made him feel stupid and ashamed and comforted all at the same time.

And he…he needed the damn help. Ain’t like the old guy hadn’t seen his back already, anyway.

Still, the old man mostly stayed behind the shower curtain at his request, and he didn’t see his junk or nothing, Daryl made sure to keep himself covered.

Part of him felt like some pathetic little cat getting a flea bath.

Today was something else.

So goddamned tired…

You

Not 15 minutes went by since he was escorted to the washroom and now he’s fast asleep under the sheets.

Lori and you stayed inside with Carl (and Daryl), and Carol and Rick brought in plates of food into the house for the four of you.

Carol cooked up some jerky with an egg for Daryl as a special treat with the rest of his meal. Menu for tonight is peanut butter sandwiches (sort of, they’re on saltines), hard-boiled eggs (not soft-boiled, you checked this time), with sauteed field greens.

Your poor friend must be ravenous, but it looks like tiredness won this round. He looks so different asleep. Sweet, even. It's silly, but his light snores almost sound like purring and now you're thinking about kittens.

Another moment in the quiet, and you figure you shouldn’t stand there like a weirdo anymore.

Well, his egg and the peanut butter sandwiches will keep until he wakes up, and the jerky and egg will taste great either way, but his portion of sauteed field greens won’t be nice cold. You’re only a little bummed when you slide your portion of little sandwiches onto his plate and take his portion of greens. He’s earned extra treats, he can have all the peanut butter he wants after what he found today.

You inhale deeply. Exhale slowly. Close your eyes and ask inwardly for help after offering more thanks that he came back alive, and found concrete proof of Sophia.

It’s nice to be in the quiet. It feels safer better to be away from Shane right now, too. You aren’t sure what you’re going to do about the sleeping situation other than tell your brother to set up his own tent.

You also take one of the cracker sandwiches, it’s been a rough day. But when you start to nibble on it…your appetite is gone. Which is so dumb, dude, you’d been stoked at the thought of chowing down when you were high on Daryl being okay and having found Sophia’s doll.

Daryl’s chest rises and falls. You listen to his light snores, and find it, as Amy would’ve said, “interesting,” (but understandable) that your stomach has a few butterflies at seeing him so peaceful and still.

You miss Amy. Which prompts you to consider that you should check on Andrea. Earlier, Dale had come in and asked a bunch of questions for her because she was too ashamed to see people. From wherever she is right now, Amy is probably hoping you’ll help comfort her big sister.

Patricia stops you before you exit the house through the side-door. “Been meanin' to ask, I heard you tell your brother to get out, earlier. Everythin’ okay?”

That question was unexpected, words aren’t working for you. You shake and nod at the same time, which is weird, so, you open your mouth to fix it, but nothing formulates.

After a second try, all you can stumble through is “I don’t know, ma’am,” before ungracefully scooting outside.

After 5 minutes of polite conversation on the steps, mainly between you and Dale regarding Daryl’s status, Andrea is still dumbfounded that she’d almost killed someone.

“He’s really okay?”

“He’s bandaged and resting now. You only winged him, but the falls he took earlier did the most damage, Andy.” You’re trying not to be angry with her, but failing. Which sucks, because you know she was trying to protect the group…

But that she still shot it even though it was against Mr. Greene’s wishes and she knew that indicates an unhealthy variety of pride. One can't be having that kind of attitude with a firearm, it ain't good. And Daryl was almost a casualty because of it.

And like, come on, there were five of you running toward her target, it was dangerous for her to attempt to shoot from that angle! Doesn’t she understand that’s irrespons—ugh, and isn’t Shane supposed to have been doing gun safety shit with her? Isn’t that his whole wannabe jarhead schtick—great, now you’re more upset about Shane!

“I’m glad you’re enjoying those, ” Dale tells you, nodding at your cracker and chuckling. “They’re the part of dinner I rushed to help make, this evening was…something.”

He shrugs, and you remember how Daryl grunted that today was ‘somethin’ else.’

“I suppose having spread the peanut butter on crackers was a small step up from offering it on spoons to everyone,” he muses.

You can’t help but hum, a spoonful of peanut butter sounds scrumptious right now. Makes a good breakfast or snack, too.

“Did Daryl eat enough?” Andrea worries. “Does he need anything?”

“He was asleep when I brought him his supper, but I left my portion of the crackers—minus this one—on his plate.”

“Come to think of it, I’m not sure he’s a fan of peanut butter,” Dale thinks out loud. “I offered him some for breakfast one morning, and now that I recall, he backed away from it.”

Not like peanut butter?

“—Oh my God, what if he’s he allergic?” Andrea breathes.

“Nah, he ate a peanut yesterday. I was havin’ one of the little packets for lunch and he tried one, he can’t be allergic,” you assure them. And surely he doesn’t not like peanuts. That would be so sad!

It gets quiet.

Andrea stares at her feet.

“I can’t believe almost killed him.” She inhales and buries her face in her hands. “I shot someone.”

And Dale is only meaning to ease her discomfort and add some levity—but whether it’s because of the new bond you have with Daryl, or maybe because here’s something of a flashback hitting you from how you’d had to actually shoot a living person a few months ago—when Dale jokes to you, “Like I told her, we’ve all wanted to shoot Daryl,” you become livid.

After two shallow breaths of your inner tea kettle screaming, this sentence: “Guess y’all will want sunshine over here to work on her aim, then,” seethes out as you stand and book it to the fields.

The past several days especially has shown you how wrong your initial conclusions about that man were. He’s a work-in-progress, make no mistake, but shit if he ain’t working on it!

Unlike your brother, who keeps getting worse, who just tried to flirt with Lori by saying he didn’t care about a missing, abused little girl—the same little girl Daryl was willing to almost die to find!

Horrified at Shane and about today; confused, embarrassed, overwhelmed, in pain, overtired, and therefore angry about everything, you walk, hyperventilate, and finally, quietly, start to cry.

Then you accidentally drop the peanut butter cracker and cry harder.

The light swish of your boots in the grass starts to crunch when you reach the sandy part by now-boarded-up well. You walk faster, neither wanting to be near the two-part walker inside nor in the area where apparently, Daryl dumped Merle’s ‘hard stuff,’ as he slurred to you earlier during his trauma assessment.

Soon you’re by the rocks you’d climbed the other night. You step up and sit on a lower one and sniffle another minute or so until the worst of it seems to have spilled out.

When will you get a better handle on your temper?

While you’re busy wallowing in self-pity, you notice Dale’s watch ticking and are reminded that you have to return it.

You stand.

Trudge back with your tail between your legs.

He and Andrea are still on the steps.

“I’m sorry. I let my anger get the better of me,” you tell them softly.

Dale waves you over. “Come back and sit if you like, kiddo. It’s been a long day.”

“It’s been somethin’,” you mumble. “And you aren’t a bad shot, Andrea, I was being snotty.” About an inch to your left and he’d have been a goner, you leave out.

“I’m glad I wasn’t as good a shot as I’d hoped,” she sounds ashamed to say. Her head is still hanging low when she makes a one-sided smile and taps the spot next to her. “Will you be helping with shooting practice tomorrow?”

“If that’s still on, yeah.” Shane was enlisting your help with that, which means you’ll have to act civil…ugh, why worry about tomorrow, tomorrow will worry about itself. You take the watch off, hand it to Dale. “Here you go, Mr. H.”

“Ah, very good. I would hate to start losing track of the days, then we’d really be in for it. Let’s see…an hour until it’s time to wind her up.”

The breeze carries the smell of woodsmoke with it. You lean against Andrea for a moment, she leans back.

Then Shane comes into view.

When you catch his eye, you shake your head in warning in case he’s thinking about coming over and schmoozing with the others as if he didn’t just f—tomorrow will be better. Things will be better in the morning. He’ll apologize and things will be better and you’ll all have a good day and maybe Sophia will be found.

“Y/N, how about we talk later tonight?” Dale murmurs.

Did he see the face you made at Shane?

Best change the subject. “If we do, is it finally my turn to borrow that awful book I’ve heard so much about?”

“The Case of the Missing Man is not an awful book,” he chuckles back, then shrugs. “Maybe Jimmie Herron’s style isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. My Irma didn’t like his work, either.”

“Y/N, it’s really not great,” Andrea drones.

“Glenn said the same.”

“Amy had me read it so we could, um,” her gaze grows teary. She closes her eyes for a moment, then smiles and shakes her head. “‘Share the trauma.’”

You smile and shake your head, too. That sounds like Amy. “She finished it up in my tent while I was knocked out with a migraine, first thing out of her mouth to me when I woke up was how lame it was. Told me you had first dibs.”

“Then I lent it to T-Dog”

Oh, right. On the first half-week of the trek to Fort Benning, his nose was stuck in it. “He plowed on through it, didn’t he?”

“He wanted the torture to be over.”

You and she snort, Dale just chuckles again. “After you finish it, only Rick, and our young Carl—oh, and, uh your br—and Shane, they’ll be the only ones to not have done so.” He points his finger as if an idea just popped into his head. “But both Jacqui and Lori thought it was good.”

“Bless their hearts, they loved watching soaps, though, what does that tell us?” you giggle to them.

Dale lifts his hands in surrender. “See me later, troublemaker, I’ll lend you my ‘awful’ book and we can talk. I’m gonna hold you to it.” He looks at Andrea. “Young lady, will you be alright?”

“Yes. I'm just not ready to face anyone yet.”

“You know where to find me.”

She rests her arms on her knees and slouches again, stare fixed on nothing much. You go to rest your arms on your knees, too, and are immediately reminded that that particular position is a no-go for you right now.

“Y/N, after what happened with Ed, when did the feeling of wanting to hide go away?”

“Mine was an easier situation," you quietly point out. "And it wasn’t just me, Shane was the one who—" you grimace at the memory. "You were there.”

“Mm.”

To answer her question, “But I guess it wasn’t til, y’know, I faced people again that I got I didn’t have to hide. Shane's sense of 'duty' helped, too. But after I talked to Carol, saw Sophia smile at me, when I knew they were on my side, I didn’t mind so much about the rest.”

“Pretty sure everyone was on your side with that,” she mutters. “For what I just did…”

“Pretty sure even Daryl will, um, well th-that you were tryin’ to protect the group.” …oof.

She lifts her eyebrows. “You aren’t good at lying, Y/N.”

It wasn’t a lie, per se. “Objectively, you were tryin’ to protect the group.”

“I wanted to feel in-control and like I could do it.”

Oh.

She admitted that? If only your brain could come up with something heartfelt or whatever the situation called for to convey how much humility from someone so confident and self-assured means, instead of this: “I wanna be on your apocalypse survival team.”

A sigh leaves her, and she simply asks, “Just let me know how furious he is with me. I'm dreading how he’ll be when he’s up. I'm a little scared, while I’m being honest.”

“Hm?”

“Daryl.”

“You’re scared of him?”

She eyes you. “We’ve all seen how he can fly off his handle. He waved that knife at Rick and your brother, the axe at Jenner.”

Oh, right. That didn’t even consider cross your mind, that she’d be scared of his reaction to...being shot in the…head. Man, your brain is not working.

It can’t even configure a response again, now you’re just shaking your head like a confused mute.

“You don’t think I have to worry, Y/N?”

“No,” you answer truthfully. “You might would feel better if you saw him, he's probably up an eatin' dinner by now."

"I think now's too soon."

"Trust me, he’s holed up in bed now, he’s about as scary as a sleepy kitten.”

“Kittens have teeth and sharp claws,” she dryly states.

Your mind immediately hops to the exciting fact that you have yet to meet the Greene’s barn cat(s) as you stand and lead Andrea inside through the side door to get to Daryl’s room, waving to Beth reading her book as you pass.

“Beth, this is Andrea. Andrea this is Beth. She’s the one who made the pudding for Carl. She’s Mr. Greene’s youngest.”

Andrea smiles and goes in for a shake. Beth shyly waves, the returning of the handshake ending up as an awkward afterthought.

Sweet as she is, leaving her in peace is probably what she’s hoping for (the poor teenager’s home and front yard is full of wounded strangers).

And you almost make it through the full sentence before gasping in delight when you see what book she has.“We’re just checkin’ on Dar—is that a choose-your-own-adventure book??”

Him

There was this loud noise in another room, woke him for a second. Y/N’s laugh stuck out from the other sounds.

While falling back asleep, he remembered how he'd made them laugh really loud when he ripped that $20 bill that night at the CDC. How they’d belly-laughed so hard at his dumb, tipsy-ass joke had felt so damned unexpectedly good.

He’s back asleep before the amount of pain he’s in can really register.

You

“I’ll bring it over after I talk to Mr. Horvath. He’s the older man in our group, I love him to pieces, you probably saw him in his bucket hat?” you tell Beth.

Jimmy apparently has been poking fun at her reading choose-your-own-adventure books to pass the time because they’re ‘for kids,’ so, lending him The Case of the Missing Man was decided to be the best way to get back at him.

You hope y’all didn’t wake Daryl, it’d gotten a little animated for a minute. To make up for it, you tiptoe when you trek down the hall to his room, Andrea and Beth behind you.

Beth left something of hers in there before he was brought in, but she was hesitant to go in there (which you praised, teenage girls and unknown older men don’t mix). Anyway, she was hesitant because she’s a little, um, well, kinda intimidated by him.

Andrea invited her to join you two, citing “Y/N says he’s as scary as a sleepy kitten right now.”

At his door, you knock lightly and call his name. Wait for an answer, try again.

Upon listening more carefully, his snores sound through the door and let you know he’s still asleep. Slowly, slowly, you open it.

As subtly as you can, you step into room and pull the sheet that had fallen down back over his shoulder before the girls see the scarring.

Daryl stirs, then grunts something incoherent as he flinches, blinks, and tries to turn toward you.

“It’s just me,” you hush. “I was fixin’ your sheet, it’d fallen.” You tuck the sheet down over his shoulder, gently and slowly. “You’re safe in the Greene’s house. Go back to sleep, sweetheart.”

His muscles relax and he’s back to snoring before the pet name is finished slipping out of your mouth.

Still standing beside him, you watch his side rise and fall, rise and fall. Reminds you how grateful you are. He really does look so helpless and sweet right now.

You notice Beth peeking back and forth between you and him, but she quickly looks away.

Poor buddy. If the man is this tired, he’ll rest better with closed curtains. He’s big on privacy, besides. Carefully, you start to draw them shut. Andrea joins.

Once they’re all pulled closed and the room is dimmer, she puts her hand on your arm and gently pulls you back into the hall, Beth leading the way. You make sure the door doesn’t make too much noise as it shuts.

“Thanks,” Beth whispers.

“Scary as a sleepy kitten, right?” Oh, that reminds you, “Y’all don’t have a barn cat or two, do you?”

“N-not anymore.”

Aw, that’s sad. “I’m sorry, little one.”

“Oh, um—d-don’t get too close to the big, shuttered barn, okay?” she rushes to add.

Before you can both nod and tell her ‘of course,’ she then stumbles through, “There’s—it’s—the, um—it’s just not real safe!”

She looks so freaked out and nervous that you forget you’re supposed to respond.

Lucky for you, Andrea, smooth as ever, assures her “We’ll let Carl know not play around there,” and starts to chat about how she “steers clear of old barns” ever since she spotted “the biggest rat I’ve ever seen come out of one at a company retreat,” while Patricia comes downstairs hugging to her side what looks like a wedding photo.

Beth scurries away, you make eye contact with Andrea, then Patricia gets your attention.

“Sweet pea, about tonight,” she begins, hands pressed together with her fingertips toward you. “Daryl’s gonna need to be checked on—”

“—Of course. I’ll stay with him. Please do me a list of what to check for and how often?”

“Will do. Try and borrow that big watch again, you’ll need it. Prolly will do well to have somebody else, maybe Carol to help. I'll go find her. You know, there’s an old air mattress in the attic, I’ll have Jimmy fill it up. Just go grab your sleeping bag,” she tells you.

“Thank you!” You’d been hoping for a way to avoid Shane all night. Is this a gift from above or something?

A reminder of, “Don’t use your injured side to carry your sleeping bag in,” from Patricia sends you on your way outdoors to retrieve your stuff.

The air is cooling off as the sun sets. The sky is a hazy orange-pink.

“Y/N, I didn’t realize,” Andrea says, slowly walking beside you.

“Realize what?”

“You two.”

You, too? Is she talking about your shoulder, maybe? “What’d I do? Do you mean my wrapped arm?”

She peers at you, head tilted to the side. “You and Daryl,” she softly clarifies. “It was Dale who wondered first, after you had to excuse yourself.”

Me and Daryl? “What’d we do?” Perhaps she's referring to the search today? Andrea isn’t one to not speak her mind plainly, you wonder why she’s not being more succinct. She doesn't know about you having shot that guy. Dale has an idea, but he's tight-lipped about it.

“So, you and he…?” she trails off.

?

So, you start to fill her in about the search. “Before Daryl found the doll, we’d—”

—OH WAIT, now you get it!

---------------------------

---------------------------

(for those wondering, the tomahawk chop is something Georgia Braves fans do)

> Masterlist link here

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[firstdivisiongirl]

okay im way too shy to say this off anon but ive been highkey lowkey stalking your blog and your vibes??? Immaculate. 100/10. you seem like a very Good and Safe person to be around and i look at some of the stuff you post/write and go ':] heehee this is enjoyable :]]]'

okok stalkerish ramblings aside, i do have a request, if youre comfortable with it!! could you write a ficlet/mini-fic (whatever term you'd like to use theres so many :,3) about a sanji x transmasc!reader?

basically reader is afab and has been dating sanji for a while now, but has just recently come to the realization that they are actually more comfortable/happy being referred to as a man!! obviously, they are scared of what sanjis going to think, especially because hes, well. respectfully, because sanjis Like That. but!!! but eventually they gather the courage to come out and tell him, and then you can write sanjis reaction(s) however you'd like!!! admittedly id like it to be fluffy, but if you want it to be angtsy then feel free to make it so <3<3

okok sorry for the wall of text uhh have a good day and take your time please 💗💞💗

Hi! Thank you so so much! I’m happy you really love my blog and vibes. Don’t feel shy. I’d love to meet you. You can totally DM if you ever want to talk or anything. I’d love to hear from you. This was fun to write and it took me so long because I wanted to make sure it was perfect for such a big fan of mine. I hope you like it and you enjoy this. Can’t wait to hear from you in the future.

The Real Me (Sanji x Trans man reader)

If there was one person you could talk to, it’d be your boyfriend Sanji.  He was the sweetest, even when being sweet to all the other women in the world.  But this time, that was the problem.  Sanji treated women so respectfully, while men not so much.  And you felt more comfortable with being a man than a woman.  You were afraid to tell Sanji this because you were afraid he’d hate you and break up with you.  You wanted to spend the rest of your life with him, but you also wanted to be referred to as a man. Everytime you thought you could tell Sanji, you’d see his face and get nervous.

One day, you decided it was time.  You walked down to the kitchen early that morning.  You looked through the porthole window.  His ocean eyes sparkled with excitement as he stirred ingredients in an old pot or chopped veggies.  The smile on his face reminded you of one of the many reasons you fell in love with him.  You were starting to fear this talk, but you knew you had to.  You bursted in a cold sweat, but walked into the kitchen.  “Oh hello Y/N swan,” Sanji cheerfully said, “what’s my lovely girlfriend doing up and about so early?”

You sighed, “About that Sanji.  I don’t feel comfortable with that.”

Sanji’s face lost all color, “what do you mean?  Are you breaking up with me?  Do you hate me?  Is this mosshead’s fault?”

You grabbed his shoulders trying to get him to breathe.  “No Sanji,” You said nervously, “I love you!  I don’t want to break up at all.  I just don’t feel comfortable as a girl.  I feel more comfortable being called a man.”

Sanji looked at you.  He paused for a second to process everything.  You were getting really scared.  Finally, he smiled.  “Ok.  I understand.  If you prefer being referred to as a man, I’m happy to do so because I love you.  How long have you felt this way?”

You looked down at the ground, “a while.  I just didn’t know how to tell you.”

Sanji caressed your right cheek causing you to look at him.  You saw nothing but love and admiration in his eyes.  “I understand,” he started, “you were nervous.  But I’ll love you no matter if you were a man, woman, fish, whatever.  Just know that you can come to me with anything and I’ll never stop loving you.”  He kissed you softly.  You finally felt at ease.  You helped him finish cooking breakfast.

Everyone started coming into the kitchen ready for breakfast.  When everyone sat down, he got everyone’s attention. “So everyone before we start eating,” he said, grabbing your hand, “I’d like you all to meet my boyfriend, Y/N.”  It was weird for him to introduce you to the crew because they all knew you, but it made sense.  Now, they got to meet the real you.

Please do not copy, modify, translate, or repost my writing on other platforms. Comments, reblogs or likes are highly appreciated!

[superfanficnatural]

The Son: Chapter 12

Pairing: Poe Dameron x Male!Reader (The Son)

Summary: You’ve finally broken free of the forces controlling you at a great cost, though the cost of doing so was even greater than you thought. Now, you fight for the antithesis of what you had been representing, and have to grapple with finding your own place in the galaxy while grappling with the person trying to find their way into your heart. Will The Son choose the light? Or the dark? Whatever the answer may be, may the force be with us.

A/N: There’s a... few things that happen in this chapter. Please refer to warnings as it might come in extremely helpful to those who might be triggered. On other matters, we get some more explanation of backstory this chapter!! As always, I hope you enjoy!

Warnings: Mentions of Suicide, Past mentioned Suicide, little bit of dark thoughts, no others.

Word Count: 3,524

Italics are your thoughts

Masterpost

 As you were on your way to Takodana to retrieve BB-8, you and Poe were peacefully sitting in the cockpit together.

“How are you feeling?” you asked.

He turned to you while his head rested against the cushion, a lazy smile on his face, “Fantastic, do I not look fantastic?”

You laughed, “You always look fantastic.”

You could have sworn he had the slightest blush on his face, “Damn right I do.”

“How was Tekka by the way? Forgot to ask about that,” you mentioned.

“He seemed wise, I wanted to get him to join back up but... he’s dead,” he solemnly stated.

You nearly gasped, “Fuck... Kylo, wasn’t it?”

He nodded, “I tried to fight back but I was helpless. He completely froze the laser I shot at him and somehow... held me in place. I couldn’t move a single muscle except for my eyes,” he explained.

“He’s already mastered slow-” you whispered. “He is extremely powerful in the force. I could barely even get a read on him through it... he’s blocking me somehow.”

Poe turned back to you with curiosity, “You know what he did? Are you that powerful?”

You couldn’t help the grin that came across your face, “I could do that with my pinky.”

His eyes widened, “No shit?”

You laughed full body at that, much to Poe’s annoyance, “Sorry, sorry. To be honest, yes actually but at my current level I’m incapable of doing that with ease, though I can.”

“What do you mean your current level?” Poe hounded.

You sighed, wondering if you should tell him any more about your past than you already did a while ago, “I... my... power is so great that I feared that it would throw the galaxy into imbalance so I suppress my power in order to assimilate into the galaxy until the next nexus force event-”

Death

Your chest suddenly began to heave with your breaths as you clutched your chest in pain.

“Y/N? What’s going on?” Poe’s voice raised as he nearly got out of his seat to get closer to you.

“So- much... death-” you could barely get the words out of your mouth as your vision was swarmed with images of millions of people dying... entire planets falling in the wake of demise. “Poe, they’ve killed them all.”

“What do you mean? Y/N tell me what you’re feeling,” Poe gently laid his hand on your shoulder in an attempt to calm you down.

You gasped as you tried to catch your breath, “The First Order... the Republic is destroyed.”

Poe’s eyes widened as he doubled back, “What?”

“The entire system... it’s all gone,” you finished with a whisper as a tear slid down your cheek. 

Poe’s eyes dropped as he reacted to the information you provided, “How is that possible...”

“It’s some kind of huge...” you tried to recall images of a ridiculously large planet size weapon... shooting a beam so large and bright it could rival the size of a planet. “Planet size weapon, it fired and it split into waves, targeting every planet in the system.”

“Oh fuck,” he muttered.

You wiped your tear and sniffled, straightening in your chair, “Leia?”

“I know, I heard, I just received word,” she promptly responded.

“We don’t have time to mourn, not just yet. This war is just beginning,” you said with determination.

Poe returned to his seat and nodded along with you, “That’s right. We need to get to BB-8 before the First Order does and find Luke.”

“You took the words right out of my mouth, Commander,” Leia replied.

Your navigation console beeped and signaled that you were almost at your destination, “Dropping out of hyperspace in 3... 2... 1... now!”

You came out, to immediately on the scanners pick up multiple First Order TIE fighter craft and shuttles, “We’ve got company.”

The rest of the resistance fighters dropped out of hyperspace along with you, “Welcome back force, Commander Poe.”

“Good to be back, Snap,” Poe responded.

You fitted into the formation of the other ships and began your descent towards the planet where the source of the transmission came from. As you broke the clouds, you came down to hover over the water.

“Alright ladies and gentlemen, let’s get this party started!” Poe yelled out.

You rushed back to the rear gunner position and let Poe pilot and use the front cannons. 

“Ruie! Get on that turbolaser!” you called out as you ran past him.

He chirped in response and plugged in to begin using it. As you got to the rear gunner seat, the ship rocked heavily as you took a blast, launching you right into your seat. You took at the controls and immediately began targeting anyone in your range. As you flew by the stone structure, you noticed a bunch of people being held at gunpoint by storm troopers and aimed your lasers at the troopers around them, managing to hit all of the ones in their immediate vicinity.

“Nice shooting!” Poe called out on the comm.

You smiled in response and focused on shooting any and all enemy craft that you could. As you flew by, you lost count of the number of ships you and Poe collectively destroyed. You felt like you were on fire and were timing your shots perfectly with Poe’s talented piloting. The battle raged on for a while before you saw the shuttle that was landed begin to take off. 

“Poe, swing us around! I’ll take care of them,” you called out.

“Wait! We have confirmed sighting of a prisoner being taken onto the main shuttle, do not attack. I repeat, do not attack,” a voice called over the comms, most likely another pilot.

It was like the moment they mentioned someone being taken on board, you felt them... powerful in the force. You felt Kylo too, yet something was strange about it. You could feel them both separately but it was like they were a singular force at the same time. It was extremely faint but you knew your senses weren’t deceiving you. Could it be?

“They’re pulling back!” another voice said.

You visually confirmed as all the TIE’s and troop carriers also began to evacuate. Knowing a pursuit would prove fruitless as they had a prisoner, you went back up to the cockpit to see Poe. 

As you walked in, you first noticed Ruie, “Good shooting out there buddy.” You placed a hand on top of him and gently caressed him a bit to praise him. “Don’t think I didn’t see that one shot that saved us.”

He beeped and whistled in response, shyly taking the credit for his work. You smiled lightly and walked past him to sit in the co-pilot seat, giving Poe a nod and a smile. 

“General Organa will handle the situation on the ground. We’ve got the droid. All squadrons, return to base.”

After you heard that, you were a bit disappointed as you wanted to know the situation on the ground but kept your mouth shut regardless. Poe turned the ship and soon, you were leaving the atmosphere to jump into hyperspace. 

As you were both sitting in the cockpit, Poe clicked a button to mute the ships comms and turned to you once more, “Hey, our conversation got cut short earlier. You telling me you’re a god or something?”

You chuckled nervously, “No, not a god. I just have an extremely powerful connection with the force. Actually, before I lost my immortality, I was essentially a living embodiment of it.”

Poe’s eyes widened as he took in what you were saying, “Immortality? Y/N, I need more context.”

You sighed as you closed your eyes for a moment, “Remember, I told you that I was the living embodiment of the dark side? And that I had... killed my sister?” He nodded along, “Well... I didn’t tell you everything.”

He reached his arm over and placed it on top of yours on the seat rest and spoke softly, “Then tell me now.”

The warmth his hand provided was so intoxicating you immediately wished he would never remove his hand, “After my sister, my father had set a trap to kill me, coordinating it with Anakin Skywalker.”

“What?” he nearly shouted. “Sorry, sorry, continue please,” he apologized and lowered his volume.

NEXT FEW SENTENCES IS POSSIBLY TRIGGERING (REFER TO WARNINGS AT TOP OF FIC)

A small smile crept onto your face, “He... killed himself in front of me.”

You completely broke.

It was so fierce, it was like you were crying the entire time. The fact that you had driven your own father to... suicide just to be able to kill you. It was such a mix of emotions that your body couldn’t even comprehend them for months until now, your body wreaking havoc from your feelings. His intent was to stop you, and he could have without dying, but he chose to die with his son. You were controlled by the dark for centuries, leading you to create the conflict with your father and sister, which ultimately led to their deaths. It was simply too much for any person to bear and you wondered how you could possibly live with the weight of their lives on your shoulders. 

“Y/N, look at me.”

You felt warm hands on your cheeks and focused your vision to see Poe kneeling in front of your chair.

“That’s right, I’m here,” he whispered, his thumb stroking your cheek bone slowly.

Your crying subsided and you began to sniffle a bit, averting from looking into his eyes directly in embarrassment, “Sorry.”

He shook his head vehemently, “Never. Never apologize to me. Do you want to stop?”

You shook your head and blinked hard, sniffling one last time before clearing your throat, “No, no I want you to know everything.”

He gave you a solid nod, looking straight into your eyes and sending the butterflies in your stomach into a flurry. 

“He knew that by doing so, it would both catch me off guard for Anakin to kill me, and he would be able to die as well and be with me and my sister.” 

“But... that isn’t exactly what happened, cause you’re standing right here, right?” Poe inquisitively remarked. 

You nodded, “After seeing my father die, right after I killed my own sister trying to kill him in the first place, it was like I was able to finally peek past the curtain. I felt my sense of self returning just the slightest and in doing so, the guilt and pain rushed in all at once,” you looked off to the side for a moment as you recalled the events of that fateful day. “My father had noticed it right after he had stabbed himself and told Anakin to stop. Essentially, he realized I was being controlled and in his dying, sent his power into me. As the holder of the title ‘Balance Over The Force,’ I gained my sister's trait of the light and my fathers trait of control over both. After that, it was like the curtain was completely swiped away and I had control over myself again. Complete control.”

Poe listened intently the entire time, which you appreciated as you hoped you weren’t evoking any negative feelings within him.

“After my father died however, I lost my immortality and became... human. Maybe again? I’m not entirely sure what I was centuries ago.”

“Centuries?” he bobbed his head a bit with a raised eyebrow.

You raised a deadly eyebrow in tow and glared at him.

He gulped and looked off to the side before returning to you, “I... take back what I said, keep going.”

You chuckled a bit, “Poe, I have been alive for hundreds, maybe even thousands of years. But, before I became immortal, the only thing I know was that my body was twenty five, and that clock resumed right after my father died.”

“Holy shit,” he gasped. “My best friend is older than the fucking galaxy.”

You laughed hard at that, “No, idiot! The galaxy is way older than that!”

Poe had basically immediately begun laughing with you so you knew he exaggerated on purpose. 

“Wait, but if all of this happened way back when Anakin Skywalker was still alive, how do you still look this young now?”

You mentally smacked yourself as you left out even more, “Sorry, I forgot to mention it. Remember I said how currently I’m not at full power because I didn’t want to throw the world into imbalance?” He nodded in response, “After everything happened, I sealed myself away with the force, with the command that I was to be awoken when the next nexus event in the force occurs.”

His face scrunched up in confusion, “Was the nexus event... Kylo Ren or something?”

You shook your head, “No, a nexus event has to be a major point in history. Something that... creates such a powerful rift in the force that it’s temporarily unstable. My plan was to reintegrate and bring the unstable force to a calm in order to establish myself back into the galaxy safely.”

“So, if the nexus event hasn’t happened yet, why are you awake now?” he questioned.

“I realized that the force requires me in order to ensure the nexus event occurs. So, I suppressed my force energy to that of the relative power of Anakin Skywalker. Before, I had tried completely suppressing myself and it took incredible strain, however, I’m still allowing quite a lot of force energy to be released from my body.”

“Which means that you can live in the galaxy for a much greater period of time?” Poe finished your sentence.

You smiled, “Exactly. I’ll be fine for another two years or so, but I assume the nexus event will occur much... much sooner than that.” 

You thought of the connection you felt when you reached into that shuttle on Takodana.

“Well, whatever it is, I hope we come out on top, I mean, ‘The First’ in The First Order kinda has to mean it’s not gonna be the last. It’ll be slightly embarrassing if we don’t beat them.”

You both stared at each other in silence for a few moments... before the both of you broke out into laughter. 

After your laughter had died down, he looked at you softly, “Feel any better?”

You met his gaze with curiosity, “You made me laugh after revisiting my greatest trauma on purpose to lighten my load. Didn’t you?” He simply kept looking at you but you saw the grin that was beginning to reveal on his face, “You also brought the subject back up, hoping I would talk about it because you know that I haven’t told anyone else and have been holding in that burden alone all this time too, didn’t you?”

The grin finally broke out and it stretched across his entire face, he threw his hands up sillily in defense, “I simply have no idea what you’re talking about, sweetheart.”

A shock ran through your entire body at his words and you fought the cough you almost released. It was evident that his words shocked himself just slightly as well as he cleared his throat after saying it.

“Y-yeah right, but thanks anyway, Poe,” you choked out, spinning your chair just slightly towards the window to avoid direct eye contact.

You heard him shuffle a bit as well as he turned towards the window as well, “Yeah, of course.”

It wasn’t too long of a wait since your conversation filled most of the trip before you were coming out of hyperspace. Poe piloted your ship down to land and the two of you walked down the ramp. You had just barely gotten boots on the ground before you heard BB-8 chirping rather loudly as he rolled at a high speed directly towards you and Poe.

“BB-8, my buddy!” Poe yelled as he began walking towards the droid as well. “Oh, it’s so good to see you.”

Poe had kneeled down to get level with BB-8 as the droid beeped at him.

“Finn saved you? Where is he?” 

“I knew it!” 

You and Poe had spoken at the same time and you shared a look with a smile before Poe turned back around to look in the direction BB-8 had come from. You noticed someone wearing Poe’s jacket and immediately understood him as Finn, knowing he could be the only other one at the wreckage to grab it. 

“Poe? Poe Dameron, you’re alive?” Finn yelled as he rushed forward.

Poe rushed forward to meet him as you followed behind, “Buddy! So are you!”

They immediately wrapped each other in a big hug, “What happened to you?”

“I got thrown from the ship! Next thing I know, Y/N saved me and there was no sign of you or the crash!”

You couldn’t ignore the pang of jealousy you felt as Poe was so comfortable with Finn, who was also very handsome... Though you felt deep feelings inside of Finn easily, and realized it wasn’t for Poe, which made you relax a bit. 

“BB-8 says that you saved him!” 

“No, no, no. It wasn’t just me.”

“You completed my mission, Finn! You...” he paused as he took his appearance in. “That’s my jacket.”

Finn stumbled a bit, “Oh.” 

He was about to take if off before Poe stopped him, “No, no, keep it, it suits you. You’re a good man, Finn.”

“Poe, I need your help,” Finn suddenly turned serious. 

“What do you need?” you made yourself known next to them.

Poe turned to you, “You know the weapon that destroyed the Hosnian system?”

You and Poe nodded solemnly.

“I worked on it, that’s where they took Rey,” he informed.

You were the first to respond, “Rey? That was the one they took prisoner?”

Finn nodded, and you felt the lightsaber he had on him, the kyber crystal inside of it making you nostalgic.

“That lightsaber, it’s hers right?” you asked.

“How did you-” he took it out and showed it to you and Poe. “This is Luke Skywalker’s lightsaber.”

Poe looked at it in wonder and you spoke, “Well, its original owner was Anakin Skywalker.”

You raised your hand and used the force to levitate it out of his hands and into your own, “Yeah.” You smiled, “This is Anakin’s.”

Finn double took as you used the force, “Wait, you’re a Jedi?!”

Poe spoke up, “Show off.”

You smiled, “I am, and Rey also has the capacity to be one. You worked on that base, you’ve got information we need?”

Finn nodded.

“Let’s see the General,” Poe said as he began walking towards command.

As you all walked along, you had to bob and weave many different supplies that were being transported with workers running all around the base. Eventually, you got to Command to see Leia around a holotable with a few workers around her. 

“General Organa,” Poe said as you approached their group. “I’m sorry to interrupt, this is Finn. He needs to talk to you.”

“And I need to talk to him,” she turned to Finn. “That was incredibly brave what you did. Renouncing The First Order, saving this man’s life,” she motioned with her head towards Poe. 

“Thank you, ma’am. But a friend of mine was taken prisoner,” Finn responded promptly.

You could tell that the person Finn had deep feelings for was Rey, but you decided to keep that to yourself.

“Han told me about the girl,” Leia answered. “I’m sorry.”

Han Solo? Damn, he’s back? He must be who helped them with BB-8... that means Chewbacca is probably here as well.

“Finn’s familiar with the weapon that destroyed the Hosnian system,” Poe was quick to add. “He worked on the base.”

Leia quickly turned back to Finn, “We’re desperate for anything you can tell us.”

“That’s where my friend was taken,” Finn affirmed. “I’ve got to get there fast.”

“And I will do everything I can to help, but first you need to tell us all you know.”

Finn had begun explaining everything that he knew about the base, which was surprisingly quite a lot. He didn’t have any specific information to offer but he gave a detailed outline of its capabilities and its movements. Once he had finished his debrief, everyone was cleared and you stood in the corner for a moment thinking to yourself.

That connection I felt with Rey and Kylo... is this the nexus event? 

You were pulled out of your thoughts by Poe who had walked up to you, “Hey, you alright?”

You inhaled as you were brought back to reality and met his eyes with a smile, “Yeah, all good. Why wouldn’t I be?”

Poe gave you a look, “You might have gotten better at not seeming like you lived under a rock for centuries but your lying needs some work, buddy.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at getting caught, “Yeah, yeah I’ve got something on my mind. Not sure yet though but I’ll let you know if that changes.”

He pursed his lips, “Good enough for me.”

If this truly is the nexus event... we’re in for something big.

Next Chapter

Forevers Tag List: @magssteenkamp @shadowsinger11 @donnaintx @flamencodiva @impalawrites-blog @talesmaniac89 @malfoysqueen54 @writercole @hintsofhoney @lassie-bird @never--doubt

Male Reader Tag List: @myybebe @denim-devil @spnfanboy777 @brymalibu

[lucacangettathisass]

I'LL FOLLOW YOU (INTO THE DARK)

SUMMARY: You grew up in the capital, kept far away from the dangers that lurked outside the walls. But after the fall of Shiganshina, you've been plagued by thoughts of titans and suffering and the blood of your fellow man.

So, you decided to do something about it.

Getting out of the city was the easy part. Proving yourself to everyone, including Shadis, is the hard part. But it looks like you've made a friend, the son of your former doctor; Eren Yeager.

He's driven, and possess a pull that's almost irresistible.

Or maybe that's just you.

FEATURING: It's My Fanfic So I Get To Decide What's Canon, my own thoughts on titans and additions to that aspect of the story (it's vague for a reason), references to Christian and Jewish thought/beliefs/philosophy (look I went to Catholic school and I've been considering converting so that shit has been Marinating), Grisha Yeager Is A Complicated Man, my pro snake agenda (THEY'RE JUST CURVY WIGGLY GUYS LEAVE THEM ALONE), awkward teens, class differences, shitty parents, loss of parents, Mothers, protective Mikasa (DON’T WORRY I'M NICE TO HER IN THIS), dorky eren (MY NUMBER ONE AGENDA), Problematic Relationships (further down the line, and it's more of a Tease than anything)

WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER: Death, illness, implied murder, implied abuse

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Who can spot all the references? What do you think they mean, if anything?

TAGLIST: @blckbrdlove

CHAPTER ONE

You had never truly thought of your home as any kind of friend or ally. At best, it was just another set of walls, separating you from everyone else in the city of Mitras. At worst, it was a casket, the final resting place of your beloved mother. The only source of comfort it offered you was the garden, which had been walled off, along with you and the rest of the east wing, from the rest of the estate ever since your mother's death all those years ago.

After all, your father's new wife shouldn't be forced to remember that someone else had been there first. That was also why you had been shunted off, abandoned and left in the care of the few members of staff who knew of your existence. Your father had a new wife who gave him not one, but two sons. What use did he have for you now?

On the bright side, this meant that fewer eyes were on you, so you were free to execute your plan. It was simple, pack some necessities, and use your natural abilities to be silent and light on your feet to slip out before anyone could notice.

"My lady, it's time for-"

You turned around, just as you were finishing up packing your bag, locking eyes with Rafael, your father's valet, and the head of the household staff.

The two of you stared at each other, and you watched his brow furrow, his dark eyes darting from you to your bag and back again. "My lady, what are you doing?"

You looked over Rafael, wondering just how much you should tell him. But lying had never been something you enjoyed, and you figured that if nothing else, Rafael deserved honesty. After all, he was the one that fulfilled the duties of a father when your own didn't want to.

"I'm leaving." You said. "I'm going to join the military. And I'm going to kill titans."

You had never been the best at reading people's faces, but even you could tell that Rafael was filled with despair. You supposed that you would be too, had he told you the same thing.

"Y/N are you insane?!" It was the first he had ever raised his voice at you, and the second that he called you by your name. "Why would you want to do that?! You're safe here!"

"And other people aren't." You replied, genuinely surprised at the level of emotion Rafael was showing. "How is it fair that other people suffer and lose everything while I get to live in safety?"

"I don't know, but that's just how the world is." Rafael said, as if you should be satisfied with that answer. He should know you better than that.

"Well I'm still going." You closed your bag and tried to leave your room, but Rafael refused to move, standing in front of the door, rooted to the ground.

"My lady, I'm not going to let you throw your life away!" Rafael grabbed your shoulders, gripping them tight. "I promised your mother I would watch over you and I intend to do so."

That gave you pause. You often wondered how Rafael felt about your mother. When she fell ill, the ones who were by her side the most were you and him. Whenever Dr Yeager came to see her, Rafael was the one who would take note of what he said and go off to get the medicine he had prescribed. The day she passed was the first time you had seen him cry.

Judging by his face now, today may bring the second.

"I'm sure she would understand." You said.

"You're safer here." Rafael insisted, sounding desperate.

"Am I?"

Your question was left hanging, the tension growing.

Rafael's left eye twitched, and his jaw clenched. He only ever did those things when he's trying to hide something. "What do you mean?"

"My mother was perfectly healthy." You said. "She got plenty of sunshine in the garden, almost everything she ate, she grew herself. She rode horses, she danced, she did everything. And then, one day, she's bedridden. Can barely move. How does that happen?"

The silence is heavy, and it seems to be doing Rafael no favours.

"Then, within a month of her dying, my father finds a new wife." You kept your gaze on Rafael, taking note of how he refuses to lift his gaze from the ground. "My father had the greatest access to my mother. They spent plenty of time together, just the two of them. Who knows what happened during those times."

"My lady, you shouldn't think such things." Rafael was trying to scold you, but his conviction was weak. "It isn't good."

"In what way?" You asked, genuinely wondering what he could mean. "Ever since his new wife arrived, I've been quarantined to this wing of the estate. How long until my father decides that doing so is too much work?"

You swallowed. It was something you had thought about a lot lately, but saying it out loud felt different. Like it was real.

The silence returned, and it looked like Rafael was desperate to break it, but he couldn't bring himself to speak.

"When I die, I want it to be on my own terms." You said finally. "If it's in the mouth of a titan, then so be it. Better that than at the whims of someone else."

There. You had said your piece. Now you just need to wait and see how Rafael will react.

"The way you're talking…" His voice was soft, but since it was just the two of you, it was easy to hear him. "It sounds like you want to join the survey corps…"

"That's right." You nodded. "They get to leave the walls. They see the titans before the rest of us. If I was with them, if they had more people, maybe what happened at Wall Maria and Shiganshina wouldn't happen again."

Rafael furrowed his brow, looking confused. "Shiganshina?"

"It was where Dr Yeager lived, remember?"

Realization dawned on Rafael. "I…I had forgotten." He sounded mournful, and almost guilty. "You were always fond of him."

It was true. Dr Yeager has always been kind to you. Even before your mother fell ill, he saw you frequently, and had tried to unravel the mystery that was your mind and how it functioned. Just about everyone else around you insisted that something had to be wrong with you, that the way you saw things, the way you acted, the way you thought, simply wasn't normal. That you were as strange and uncanny and abnormal as the titans. The only ones that didn't see you like that were, of course, your mother, and, to your surprise at the time, Dr Yeager. He had told you himself that there was nothing wrong with you, that while, yes, the way your brain worked was different from most people, it wasn't a bad thing. Adjustments may need to be made and techniques will need to be learned on your part to be able to cope in a world stacked against you, but that wasn't your fault. You weren't broken.

Your pillow had almost gotten soaked from the tears of joy you had wept into it that night.

After hearing about the fall of Maria, and the destruction of Shiganshina, you had held out hope that he and his family had survived somehow, had made it into Wall Rose as refugees. Perhaps even the interior, considering all the work he had done there. But when no word came, you gave up.

It felt like you had lost a family member.

That man had saved you and tried to save your mother. The least you could do was kill the things that killed him and his family and destroyed his home, or die trying.

"No one could've predicted what happened at Wall Maria." Rafael said gently. "The Armoured and Colossal Titans…we've never seen anything like them. No number of scouts could've stopped them."

"But they could've sent word. Warned others, giving people time to evacuate." Maybe if they had, the Yeager family would've lived.

"I'm not going to change your mind, am I?" Rafael said it like a question, but both of you knew it was a statement of fact. He sighed heavily, and there was a look in his eyes that you couldn't recognize. That surprised you.

Slowly, he stepped aside, leaving the door free for you to reach. "I'll tell your father you ran away, but I won't tell him where." Rafael promised. "I just have one request."

"Anything." After everything he's done for you, he's more than earned whatever request he's about to make.

"In the military, use your mother's maiden name." Rafael looked and sounded serious, more serious than you had ever seen him, which was saying something. In fact, he sounded borderline desperate. "Please."

You waited for him to elaborate, but he didn't. Usually this would make you reluctant to do what's asked of you, but since it's Rafael and you already promised, you nodded. "OK."

You picked up your bag, slinging it onto your back. "I'll find my way."

"I know you will, my lady." He opened the door for you, and when you walked past, he bowed, like it was any other day. "I've been truly blessed to watch you grow." He said, his voice cracking a little.

That gave you pause. Until that very moment, it never occurred to you just how much your departure would affect Rafael, or anyone else who still remained in your life. Would they all weep too?

"Thank you Rafael." And you put your hand on his shoulder. You couldn't think of anything else to do.

Even with a full backpack you moved through the halls and down the stairs like a ghost, like the wind through trees. Ever since you were a small child, you had a talent for remaining silent and unseen. Your every movement went unnoticed, like a snake in the tall grass.

You would make a game of it whenever you were bored, seeing how many times you could sneak up on others and scare them. You stopped counting after two hundred. It had stopped being fun by then.

But now it wasn't about fun, it was about necessity. While Rafael visited your wing of the estate the most, there were still a select few who were permitted entry into it, and if any of them caught you, it could complicate matters.

You kept an ear out for them, while keeping yourself to the shadows and corners, obscuring yourself as much as possible, before you made it to your destination.

The door to the garden.

Initially, when your father had walled it off, you thought it was part of his grieving process. You knew better now. On the plus side, you still had access to it, were one of the few to have access to it in fact. It had helped keep you sane during those lonelier days.

You had done your best to tend to it, to keep it as lush and thriving as it had been before. But while it had been your mother's passion project, she still had plenty of help. You had no such luxury, having only Rafael and two other maids to assist you, none of which shared your or your mother's penchant and passion for gardening, so some of it had naturally fallen into disrepair, despite your best efforts.

But the one thing that had retained the glory it enjoyed under your mother's care was the apple tree.

It stood tall and proud, creating enough shade for almost a third of the garden. The apples that came from it were true beauties, as green as the leaves, round as the sun, and juicier than anything you have ever experienced. When your mother died, your father had her buried beneath it, and you imagined that by now its roots had fully wrapped around her, in a never ending embrace. You had a lot of good memories of that tree, and that was probably why you stopped in front of it.

You gazed up into its canopy, wondering just how many leaves it boasted now, how many creatures called it home. You looked down at the large roots that peeked through the grass. You wondered which ones held your mother as you knelt before it, putting a hand on the biggest, most gnarled of the roots. It felt warm. Probably from the sun and heat, but you liked to imagine it was the flowing of your mother's blood and the force of her love.

"Dr Yeager did his best for you." You said softly, looking down at the hard, patterned wood. "Now I'll do my best for him."

Thump

You turned to your left and, to your surprise, saw an apple. You were sure you had gathered them all with Rafael the other day. But it seems this one had been hiding, waiting to ripen and reveal itself.

You picked it up, inspecting it. There were no signs of bruising, or that an insect had made it it's home. Carefully, you took a bite.

It was delicious.

You could feel the juice running down your chin, and you wiped it away.

You weren't usually one for signs, but this seemed like a good one.

Apple in hand, you left the garden.

-

Unfortunately the military recruiters had left by the time you got there, but you weren't about to let that stop you.

Using a gold embossed doorknob that you had taken from the estate, you were able to bribe a merchant leaving for Wall Rose to let you tag along. You had considered bribing the military police to get you out, but you were concerned that it would get back to the circles your father traveled in, so you avoided them. Plus, it would probably look bad for your future military career.

From that merchant you bribed another to get further out, and yet another to find out who supplies the training camp for the military, and then bribed them to take you out there.

By the time you finally got to the training grounds it was late evening, dinner time you suspected, and you had used up everything you had taken with you to use as bribery. Your apple was long gone too, but it had nourished you well enough, considering you left during lunch time.

It wasn't until the suppliers left that you realized that you didn't have a plan for this part. You had been running purely on adrenaline and passion and impulse, incredibly out of character for you.

But you had already made up your mind. You're going to join the scouts, no matter what.

You spotted the biggest building, saw that the lights were on and heard noise coming from it and figured that was as good a place as any to start. You approached it, electing to ignore the girl who seemed to be doing laps (judging by how exhausted she looked you doubted it was her choice to do so).

Without taking a second to think, you opened the door, being sure to make enough noise to be noticed, and were promptly met with silence.

You surveyed the hall, taking in the surprised expressions, when your eyes fell on one boy in particular. He appeared to be your age, and in many ways was unremarkable. He was lanky and awkwardly proportioned, most likely due to not reaching puberty just yet, with short dark brown hair. The only thing of note about him really were his eyes, which were a dark shade of green. It reminded you of the leaves of the rose bushes in the garden.

But when you looked into them…you couldn't explain it. You felt something inside you unfurl. It felt primal, a near magnetic draw to the boy that you knew for a fact you had never seen before in your life. And yet your blood felt fiery hot under your skin, your heart racing like a thoroughbred.

'Who is he?'

"By the Walls, who is this?"

You were pulled from your unexplainable trance by a voice behind you, and you turned to find a tall, older, bald man, who didn't look impressed. He glared down at you, his eyes as cold as your blood was hot.

"Well?" He snapped. "Who are you and what are you doing here?"

You blinked, finally gathering yourself together and pulled out of your daze. "I take it you're in charge." You said. "I'm a recruit, sir."

He tsked. "A recruit? Why are you late then?"

"I missed the recruiter convoy." You said. "On account of being kept inside. I had to sneak out."

"Sneak out?" The man sounded incredulous, disbelieving. "Where are you from?"

"Mitras, sir."

That caused a stir. A wave of whispers came upon the crowd, too low for you to hear anything but you could guess the gist. You didn't imagine many born in the capital would willingly join the military.

That truly seemed to have caught the man off guard. "And how did you get here, exactly, if you missed the recruiters?"

"I bribed people to get past the walls."

More whispers. It seemed you were to be the main topic of conversation and gossip, at least for a while.

The man snorted, and he seemed almost angry, like he suspected you of tricking him. "You mean to tell me you smuggled yourself out of the capital, and made your own way here, just to join the military?"

"Yes sir. I'm not sure how else I'm supposed to explain it."

The whispers ceased, plunging you all into dead silence.

The man stared down at you, while you looked past him, at a spot on the wall next to his temple. A trick you learned to make it seem like you're holding eye contact.

"Why the military?" He asked finally. "Why leave your cozy little life for this?"

You furrowed your brow. Why did people keep asking questions with obvious answers?

"Because I want to join the survey corps and kill titans." You said simply. "I want to help prevent a disaster like what happened at Wall Maria and Shiganshina. I want to protect my fellow man, and I can't do that in Mitras."

The silence stayed, and the man kept trying to stare you down, but you kept your gaze on the wall. You remained calm. You had faced worse than him.

"Your name, recruit." He said, voice low. "What is it."

'Use your mother's maiden name. Please.'

"Y/N." You said. "Y/N Chava."