#been listening to this song all day today and i just like ???
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The Prophecy (SMAU ft. Lando Norris) Part II
pairing: lando norris x singer!reader (y/n)
summary: what happens after the break-up that noone saw coming? as Y/N L/N gears up to release her next album, each song reveals a little bit of the past, present and future of her relationship with Lando Norris. Inspired by a curated playlist built around "The Prophecy".
note: this is RPF and is obviously in no way, shape, or form reflective of real persons.
genre: social media au, angst, exes to lovers, happy ending
part i
♥・*:.。 。.:*・゚♡・*:.。 。.:*・゚♥
September, 2026
[Excerpt from Kelly Clarkson interview with Y/N]
“We’re so excited to have y/n l/n with us today, I can’t get your latest song out of my head. It’s really such a great revival of the sultry pop ballads,” Kelly says joyously, and y/n can’t help but smile.
“Thank you! That means a lot coming from you – I grew up watching you on American Idol, I can’t believe I’m even sitting across from you now.”
“Oh my god, stop! You’re gonna make me feel real old. Congratulations again on your Grammy for your sophomore album, All I Ever Needed. How did it feel going into your new project with that in the back of your mind?”
Y/N shuffles uncomfortably on the couch. “Hmm thank you. I – well, it was really different. The songs I wrote on there were coming from this feeling of bliss which was fading fast by the time the Grammy’s rolled around. I had to figure out what kind of artist I am if I’m not in love, or writing about happiness. It felt embarrassing. I don’t like being vulnerable, but I love sharing love. So it was hard for me, not gonna lie. But I’m happy that we got there in the end.”
“Wow, well I was able to listen to a few other songs on this record. I gotta say, I think it’s by far your best record yet. And did you write on all of the songs this time around again?”
Y/N nods her head, a small smile creeping back up on her face. “Yeah, I did. It turns out that writing about sad things can be really cathartic. But I really want people to know that it doesn’t mean this isn’t an album about love. At the end of the day, each of these songs are love letters to every single moment or person that made me feel something – for better or worse.”
early October, 2026
[Transcription of Capital FM segment with Y/N]
“We’ve got Y/N L/N with us here on Capital FM, and we’re about to play a quick round of Never Have I Ever! Are you ready?”
Y/N smiles, holding a paddle with “I Have” and “I Have Never”. “Sure, as ready as I’ll ever be.”
“Great! Now first one: Never have I ever… regifted a gift someone bought me.”
“Ooooh, not a gift someone bought me. But things I have been sent or given in goodie bags I’ve definitely regifted,” Y/N says, and raises the “I Have Never” paddle.
“That’s alright! I think that’s not too bad. In fact, I’d volunteer to get something regifted from you,” the host laughs. “I usually donate it, but next time I’ll keep you in mind!”
“Perfect. Next one: Never have I ever slid into someone’s DMs”
Y/N rolls her eyes and raises the “I Have” paddle. “Who hasn’t? If people say they haven’t, they’re just lying to you.”
“Who’s the most famous person who’s ever been in your DMs?” The host asks, and Y/N laughs. “Hmm Taylor Swift, maybe?”
“You’re good friends, aren’t you?” Y/N nods. “Yeah, I actually wrote ‘how did it end?’ during a studio session with her.”
“Hmm that brings me to the next question – never have I ever written a song about an ex.”
Again, Y/N raises the “I Have” paddle, but then twists it so it’s halfway. “I think sometimes, no scratch that, I think almost always songs work way better when they’re open for interpretation. Isn’t it nice how everyone can take something else from it, that way?”
“Have you ever gotten back together with an ex?” The host asks, and Y/N makes a ‘tsk’ noise. “Never! First rule in the book, or so my friends tell me all the time.”
"Even when the heart wants what it wants?"
"Even then."
mid October, 2026
[Excerpt from Call Her Daddy episode with Y/N]
“I think in many ways this album is the most naked I’ve ever felt in my emotions. But maybe that’s actually a good thing,” Y/N grins.
“They do say that sex sells,” Alex (Cooper) responds, and Y/N chuckles. “You’ll find hardly any of that on this album.”
“That’s not entirely true, there’s a song on there with some explicit lyrics,” she adds.
“Undrunk? Funnily enough, that one was probably one of the easier ones to write because it actually felt the furthest removed from myself? It’s inspired by, but not based on my own experiences. I’d say it’s my unlived life,” Y/N tries to explain.
“Talk to me about that. People are always quite eager to pinpoint all experiences of a celebrity. They know who you’ve dated, look for clues and dissect every lyric. How do you decide what to share and what not to share?”
“I think it’s sort of why I wanted to share ‘how did it end?’. Even the title track is me addressing the fact that everyone feels entitled to determine my love story. Including me, I think everyone tries to engineer or hack happiness at one point in their life. But it doesn’t work like that. And at the same time, it’s important for me to try and have some semblance of control over my own narrative, my feelings, my sense of self. And that also goes for the people whose presence in my life inspired me to write these songs. For better or worse, I’m grateful for it.”
Alex smirks. “Look, we can’t avoid the topic here. We all know that one of those people is Formula One driver Lando Norris. He’s also got a lot of very dedicated fans, who’ve been clamoring under every post of yours to leave him alone ever since you started dating. How did, and do you deal with that? It would have been easy to erase him from your social media, once the relationship ended, but you chose not to do that. Was that a conscious decision on your end, or something you ever discussed?”
Y/N takes a sip of water, and purses her lips. “I kinda feel like it’s just not really my place to expand on that – it’s between Lando and his fans. Like, it actually has nothing to do with me, I feel. If people are surprised I didn’t delete like three photos, it’s just because I like them – it’s not that deep. I can still cherish good moments, even when they’re in the past. I’m not embarrassed or ashamed of the fact that my ex was part of my life. But it’s not for me to comment on it beyond that. He’s well within his rights to want to delete them, and he doesn’t need to explain to anyone – not to me, not to his fans, anyone why he did it.”
“But it’s more than that. It does seem to imply he doesn’t like the association. And yet you referenced him in the video for “Jaded”. It’s caused some controversy,” she prods a little more.
Y/N snorts. “I was just paying homage to my co-writer, and her iconic 7 Things video. But it’s also partly me taking that ownership. A video is one of the few spaces where you can set the scene. If I wanted to expand on it, I’d have done it through art. People will be mad either way, and the props don’t add anything you can’t already infer from the lyrics.”
“Has he listened to it?”
“Have you?” Y/N counters. Alex smiles, then moves on.
end of October, 2026
[The Independent excerpt]
Y/N L/N reveals tracklist to her third album as anticipation grows!
An obvious contender for the BRITs, is what the first reviews are saying about L/N's latest record “Jaded”. The LP will arrive in just two weeks, but up until today we did not know the exact runtime of the highly anticipated album. After posting to her Instagram, Y/N L/N revealed that the regular version of The Prophecy will count 12 tracks, with the deluxe edition raising that to a comfortable 16. Fans will surely be delighted to know that they can purchase various versions, all contributing to what is looking to be a very easy chart victory.
Talking to Jimmy Fallon earlier this week, L/N stated that she hopes her fans will listen to the album in its running order. “I know it’s really tempting to skip straight to your favourite, but I spent ages ruminating over how to tell my story in the best way – so I hope that translates.”
So far, all official singles of “The Prophecy” have charted both in the Official Top 20 as well as the Billboard Top 40, with The Heart Want What It Wants peaking on top, and Jaded just outside the top 10 at #11.
♥・*:.。 。.:*・゚♡・*:.。 。.:*・゚♥ I was soooooo happily surprised by the response to the previous part that I hurried up to post this :) Any comments, likes, reblogs, asks are super appreciated. ♥ Part III will follow shortly, it'll be four parts in total. for those interested, official tracklist songs
how did it end? - Taylor Swift / The Heart Wants What It Wants - Selena Gomez / Jaded - Miley Cyrus / Lie to Girls - Sabrina Carpenter / Breakeven - The Script / The Prophecy - Taylor Swift / Stay - Gracie Abrams / Science + Faith - The Script / Moral of the Story ft. Niall Horan - Ashe / Undrunk - Fletcher / Vertigo - Griff / No More Sad Songs - Little Mix / Paper Hearts - Tori Kelly / Into You - Julia Michaels / Supercut - Lorde / Genesis - Dua Lipa
#lando norris x reader#lando norris fanfic#f1 x reader#f1 fanfic#f1 rpf#ln4 x reader#ln4 x you#lando norris x you#the prophecy smau
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'' DANCE WITH ME? ,,
|| pairing: hawks x gn!reader / keigo takami x gn!reader
|| warning: hurt/comfort, good ending chat trust
|| word count: 1.1k
|| happy new years guys 🩵
You and Keigo had been married for a year. You knew exactly what you signed up for the moment you started dating, he was very clear about how his job was.. Well, busy. And how it kept HIM busy. You understood this and welcomed it, honestly you liked the alone time you got. There had been times you two have fought about this, but only once or twice. Despite fighting less, your worry grew the more attached you got with Keigo. The more you fell for Keigo.
Today was.. Harsh. You woke up alone in bed, per usual, the place you go to for your coffee was closed because of a villain attack on it, and you were late to work. Because of, guess what! A villain. Your boss was on your ass about, you forget half of what he yelled at you about, it was fine, all of that was small cracks in a glass cup that was overflowing with water. What thr final blow was?
Youe beloved husband, Keigo.
You had planned a date together. You'd been planning this date for a week or so. The SECOND you clocked out of work you rushed home and put on your best clothes! Matching it with a bag Keigo had bought you and of course, your wedding band.
By this time it had been 7:00 PM. Your date was for 8:00 PM! Alright, Keigo had an hour to get ready if he got here.. Soon.
But, as you watched the minutes go by, constantly checking for a call, a text!.. Keigo was no where to be seen. Once it turned 8:20 PM, it had been to late, your reservation was too late and you couldn't go. And honestly? You didn't wanna go out anymore. You just sat on the couch, scrolling on your phone, still in your date night outfit as you heard familiar flapping on the balcony.
Keigo! 20 minutes late, to arriving TO the resturaunt.
"Babe, I'm so sorry-"
You put a hand up as you stood up and crossed your arms in front of your chest. Your brows furrowed as you looked him up and down. You looked over him, he seemed a bit disheveled, some scratches but nothing too bad.
"You're late, Kei"
He stood there, his lips pressed in a thin line as he looked at you. He didn't have anything to say. His wings ruffled behind him as the blone man let out a tired sigh.
"I'm sorry, love. I promise I tried to leave patrol early, but the commission called me in for a meeting right after patrol ended. It was a whole debrief and-"
Keigo was rambling again. He often did this when you were upset with him, or if he was upset at himself. Your gaze softened as you listened to him. He had a harsh day too. Did it excuse his actions? No, not at all, you're his beloved spouse. He should've been there. He knows it.
Which is why it shocked him when you walked up to him and wrapped your arms around him.
".. You'll have to make it up to me."
You said softly. This could've been the BEST time to make a teerible innuendo, but instead Keigo let out a shakey breath and hid his face into the crook of your neck. Giving a small nod to your comment.
"I'll make dinner, I'll- I'll make whatever you want, or order in whatever you want,"
You shook your head with a small laugh. You pulled away from him and took out your phone. He watched in confusion as you tapped your fingers against the screen... What the hell were you doing? He got even more confused as when you started playing a song.. THE song. The song that played at your wedding.
You slowly placed your phone on the coffee table as you slowly walked back to him.
"You stood me up. I'm upset at you,"
That stung his heart, but he understood. He stood there, listening to you talk.
"You'll need to make it up to me," Keigo nodded. ".. So. To make it up to me by a little,"
You extended your hand out. The moonlight coming out from the glass and hitting your skin just right. Keigo looked you up and down, in awe of how.. Gorgeous his spouse was.
"Dance with me?"
Keigo's breath hitched as those words left your mouth.. He took a few steps close to you and placed his hand into yours, moving around to get into dancing position. Just like your wedding.
The two of you danced to the music, nothing but the music and your steps filling in the silence. As if none of you dared to even breathe. But it was okay.. If you closed your eyes it could be like your wedding day all over again. The most stressful, the most tear filled, and the best day of both of your lives. It was exactly like you had imagined.
Once the song ended Keigo leaned into you, hiding his face on your shoulder. His wingd drooping down as he held you close.
"I'm so sorry, my love."
"I know."
You stroked his hair softly as he just held you close. He knew you had every right to be upset. He knew he could've done better, this had happened before. Keigo felt terrible. You had been so patient with him, so good to him. He didn't feel like he deserved it, but you always assured he did.
"I'm so sorry,"
He repeated himself as you held him close. God, you hated hearing him this.. Sad.
"I've been terrible.. I'm sorry.. I've been a bad husband to you."
You pulled his face away from your shoulder and stroked his cheek with your thumb. A small smile on your face as you looked over his features.
"At least you're self-aware"
You had a small smirk on your face as you said that. Ah, teasing.
"I try to be."
He let out a small chuckle as he gently pushed his lips against yours. That night, you assured him he wasn't a bad husband, that he wasn't a bad anything. He needed your reassurance a lot, and no matter how upset you were with him, you'd lend it. Afterall, he was always there for you, it was the least you could do.
Of course, Keigo still made it up to you, taking you on an extravagant date and pampering you at anytime. Hell, he didn't even let you brush your teeth by yourself. He was such a dork, but you loved him.
And god, does he love you.
|| God, this is lowkey rlly badly written but yk
#hawks#mha hawks#bnha hawks#bnha fluff#hurt/comfort#angst to fluff#hawks x reader#hawks x gn reader#hawks x male reader#hawks x gn!reader#bnha keigo#mha takami keigo#keigo takami#takami keigo#keigo takami x reader#keigo takami x y/n#boku no hero academia#my hero acedamia#happy new years#hawks x trans male reader#hawks x female reader#keigo tamaki#keigo x reader
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SEND YOU MY LOVE ON A WIRE!
pairings. cho hyun-ju x f!reader
cw. fluff, reader is alternative and plays the bass, no games au.
author's note: guys i don't know anything about instruments okay💔💔 i'm not sure if i did justice for this one, my knowledge for the subculture is very limited but i tried my best.
wandering through the streets of seoul late at night wasn't exactly the plan for cho hyun-ju.
after a long day at work, all she wanted to do was to eat at her favorite restaurant. she could already imagine sipping on the warm hearty soup. unfortunately though, the place was closed for the rest of the week.
now she has found herself staring into the window of a local pub. the music playing gave her a sense of nostalgia and starstruck-ness. the tunes brought a small wave of relief to hyun-ju, no matter how loud it was, it felt empowering.
a band was putting on a show there. hyun-ju was mesmerized by the melody, the genuine emotions it stirred, and also the cute bassist.
but to her luck the band stopped playing rather abruptly.
a rush of muttering and soon shouting came along with it. the band left the pub silently, walking towards the old van parked nearby.
the bassist followed behind them.
this could be the time to start a conversation with her, hyun-ju thinks, she could come up with many topics. it has been a long day, some small talk with a girl couldn't hurt, right?
"excuse me?" her hands awkwardly fidgeted, she wonders if you were even in the mood to talk. her worries were soon brushed off as she was met with a friendly smile.
"hi!" the light reflected on you, hyun-ju noticed your makeup. it looks flawless, everything seemed to compliment your features very well.
"could i help you with something?" your voice was just as angelic as the singer— well, you were in a band, that talent must've lingered for all the members.
hyun-ju's mouth began talking faster than her head could comprehend it, "is it okay if i ask why you stopped playing in there?"
you laugh, "oh yeah, i guess the guy, owner, whatever- was expecting we play something.. softer? i don't know. i'm assuming he didn't read the list of songs we were gonna play."
hyun-ju nods, "i thought it was really nice."
"the guy thought otherwise," you shrug.
"you played very well there, i only heard a bit of it. but you looked very skilled." hyun-ju's voice made it sound like it was more of a statement. she was genuinely in awe of your talent.
"i'm just the bassist, credits should be given to the guitarist or singer if anything."
"but the bass ties it together, no? it controls the rhythm and pace, i think it enhances the tune of the song you were playing," hyun-ju smiles, she hopes she doesn't sound too sheepish or weird, "you brought a nice sense of energy and aura."
her words definitely struck a chord with you.
"what's your name, pretty?" your words caught the woman off guard, "oh, hyun-ju, cho hyun-ju."
"well, hyun-ju, do you want to grab a drink with me?"
"what about your band?" she gestures to the van that has been waiting for you this entire time, "i can handle it. they won't mind too much, besides, we're not gonna play anything else tonight."
hyun-ju nods, excited.
"okay then, i know a spot."
you motion to the van to leave without you, the bass still strapped on your back. hyun-ju's eyes focused on you before giving a small wave to the van driving away.
hyun-ju was wrong. wandering the streets of seoul late at night was the perfect plan. to meet someone as talented and gorgeous as you, she was able to ease off for the night. forgetting all the worries that laced her thoughts earlier today.
the night felt more lively than ever. you got to tell her many things, such as; your love for alternative rock, how you eventually learned the bass, how you met your friends slash bandmates, and how you discovered yourself through the art of music. you got to share your views and perspectives, your makeup routine, your favorite places to play at— hyun-ju listened to every single word that came out of you.
you noticed it. "say, hyun-ju, would you like to go out sometime? grab another drink maybe, or go to a place of your choice?"
"i would love to."
"okay then," you grab a piece of paper and pen hidden in your pocket, you had this planned all along, did you?
"here, give me a call, pretty."
#cho hyunju#cho hyun ju#cho hyun-ju#cho hyun ju x reader#cho hyunju x reader#hyunju#hyun ju#hyunju x reader#hyun ju squid game#player 120#player 120 x reader#squid game#squid game 2#squid game 2 spoilers#squid game season 2#squid game s2#squid game spoilers#squid game x y/n#squid game x reader#squid game x you#squid game fanfic#squid game fluff#squid game au
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#mine#doctor who#dwedit#matt smith#karen gillan#i miss them so much...#i'm listening to the latest diary of river song#and there's been a lot of 'asking river about her mother' situations and i'm just like ;____;#the story with river and jackie tyler and the krotons was very fun#anyways i'm very tired... my class went on a field trip to the pumpkin patch today#and it was raining all day#but i think they all had fun#ok bye good night friends
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Nicola's Easter Eggs from This Weekend/Week (and What it Could All Mean)
First, I am going to list the most important pieces of information (imo) that N posted on her IG grid or stories this weekend/week (and I will put the date it was posted- I'm on PST so some of these MIGHT have been posted on a different date for N):
Posted on N's stories on Friday, 8/9/24
Posted on N's grid on Saturday, 8/10/24
Posted on N's stories on Sunday, 8/11/24
This song was posted on N's stories on Tuesday, 8/13/24
Also, I want to stress I've been DEEP in delulu this weekend/week over all this because it's made me soo excited, but I analyzed the figure in the sunglasses from her milk tshirt pic for such a long time last night, and I swear... I am like 98% certain I see L's VERY distinct tattoo on the person in the sunglasses (and it's totally in the correct placement). I'll put the pic below. It helps if you zoom in a little bit. And after the song that she posted today, I am 99% certain at this point that L took that photo of her in the tshirt 😭😭😭 I could be wrong about the tattoo lol, BUT I still am almost certain that's him based on the arms!
What Could This All Mean??
I feel like we all have seen the theories at this point around all of these posts/stories, and the MANY Easter Eggs they all contain regarding L OR certain people adjacent to L. Therefore, I am not going to talk about all of the Easter Eggs and what they might be implying. This is what I will say:
If all of this content had not been released publicly in such a short period of time, I don't think I would really have paid that much attention to it, or have been THIS excited. However, it is precisely because N (who is VERY intentional on SM) posted ALL OF THIS in such a short period of time, knowing very well how the fandom would be interpreting it and leaving TONS of Easter Eggs that she's with L, that makes me fairly confident that there has been a VERY positive shift between L/N.
Could I be wrong? Yes. However, the song that she posted today (which I have ALWAYS loved btw 😍), clarified to me that everything she has posted since Friday wasn't just random. That song is a BIG statement! We know that N communicates through music, and this song's lyrics don't leave a lot to interpretation. It is a very sweet and happy love song! Now, could this song be about someone else, or could she just have liked the song and wanted to post it? Yes. But after EVERYTHING she posted on IG since Friday, NOBODY can convince me this song isn't about L!
I don't know what this EXACTLY means right now BTS for ALL parties involved in this situation. However, if L was going to officially acknowledge A as his girlfriend in the near future, would N have posted all of this content in such a short period of time that is very obviously related to L in the fandom? Absolutely not. I think (and a LOT all people might not agree with me on this) that this was an official acknowledgment to the fandom, specifically, that her and L are together currently and happily in love 😭😭😭 I still feel like the situation is probably a little complicated BTS, but something in my gut, based on all this public content the last few days from N, makes me feel like something BIG has changed between her and L, and N therefore feels more comfortable and confident with sharing this type of content with the fandom (and the public). I don't believe that we will get a lot of this type of content from L for a while (for LOTS of different reasons that I think are totally understandable), BUT we might get a couple of little crumbs from him (I'm thinking maybeee through songs). I also don't think they are in any place yet to go officially public, but I DO think that N will continue posting content like this if my theories are true 👀 I also feel like they may make a public announcement sooner than we expected based off of everything from the last couple of days. I have said this before, but I believe that both L/N are aware that this relationship would get serious pretty quickly if they were able to get on the same page. And I think they have 😭😍
Does this mean that L/A are done? I think so. Will we still see some material from A related to L? Maybe. I wouldn't rule that out. I get the sense though, and I have been feeling like this for a while, that L/A really haven't been doing that well in their relationship for a long time based on all the evidence that we now have.
A lot of people might not agree with all of my thoughts here, but I feel pretty confident that the song N posted today is a statement to the public, particularly the fandom, about her feelings currently for L. And it just makes my heart really happy 😍😍😍
#lukola theories#bless the telephone#I've been listening to this song ALL day lol#I literally cried when I found out N posted it 😭😍#I just LOVE N's millennial heart and how she communicates on SM ❤️️#Today was a good day ❤️️❤️️#I feel like we've been VERY well fed since Friday lol
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clancy
#guess who took the longest possible way home today just to listen to this masterpiece of an album#you guys are laughing but it's my only oxygen these days#i don't think i am physically capable of listening to anything else right now#and it's been like what two weeks?#idk time is not a real thing anyway so who's counting#have i mentioned this album has no skips at all#i only didn't really like midwest indigo on my first listen HAHAHA HAHA HA-#you goddamn fool.#this song slaps just like the rest of them#anyway#mutuals do me a favour go listen to clancy#this lore is fantastic#you don't have to listen for the lore you can just vibe if you want#but if you think about the symbolism it's actually insane and i feel like most of us can relate#and i'm not only talking about clancy but like about the entire twenty one pilots discography#or at least last four albums#cause there's not much of it on clancy tbh but like#it's the album of the year i can already tell you#brb gonna sell my kidney (or the eras tour ticket) to see them live next year#i say whatever and whatever that i want*
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6 weeks of breathing clean air, I still miss the smoke…..
🏝️🤙🏄🏾♀️🏄🏼♂️💔
#seemed appropriate to use t swift lyrics since I associated so many of her songs with them &haven’t been able to listen to any of them sinc#I don’t even want to say their names#if you know you know#purging them from my life has been depressing as hell#I’m so fucking sick of behind the scenes bullshit ruining my favourite ships#this is the THIRD TIME this has happened to me btw#I’ve genuinely been in mourning#I’m not even exaggerating when I say that finale triggered a days long anxiety attack for me#it’s so ridiculous how something that wasn’t even real caused me to have physical symptoms of distress but it’s true#my heart wouldn’t stop racing. chest was tight. started shaking a few times. felt lightheaded. couldn’t sleep. eating made me sick#it was awful#but now I’ve mostly moved on to anger#I’m angry at a lot of people involved for different reasons#I’m also angry because I’ve lost my inspiration to write#I was solely committed to writing about them the past few years and now that they’re over I have no desire to write for them or another shi#I’m crushed that I’ve lost my joy for writing those ficlets but it’s too painful now. probably always will be tbh#feeling pretty lost creatively…#thank god I made a new friend on here before shit hit the fan#she and I have been venting out our sadness and frustrations together and it’s helped a lot#I hope everyone else in the fandom was able to find support like I did#I know my exit from the fandom was abrupt but I had just finished watching and was reacting purley on raw emotion#but I still think it was my best way to cope with it all#apologies for the rant and to everyone following me who don’t know wtf I’m talkimg about but I was thinking about them today#and I needed to unload a bit#I’m not going to tag anything but I do miss this fandom terribly#I’m still at a point where I don’t want to hear anything about this show or ship ever again… but yeah… I really miss those good times#take me back to the season 3 hype#THIS is the bad place#personal#laura says things
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is it midnight? yes. but i had to get this concept out there before it ate me alive. the swiftlis are rotting my brain fr!!!
#the way i actually looked at the 5e handbook for this#ANYWAY i've been annoying nyx about this literally all day today and this simply refuses to leave my brain!!! they're so!!!#listen to me LISTEN to me. link deserves the ability to kiss the ouchies away okay#link checking on taylor after a battle and giving him a little smooch to smooth over his injuries...#giving him kisses to help ease some of his chronic pains... even rlly mundane things like headaches... the possibilities are endless!#i'm just. i think that growing up link is a really touchy-feely kid and he loves doting on his friends and giving them lots of hugs#but the kisses i think he reserves just for taylor <3#i have the first part of this written already i'm very unwell abt them#also. yes paper rings is a swiftli song. to me 💗💗💗#dndads#swiftli#happi scribbles
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soooo. that new big time rush album huh
#how we feeling today rushers (。•̀ᴗ-)✧#also yes i've come back from the dead just to post abt this like. i owe this blog *this much* at least ykyk#anyway its like 3 in the morning here and ive just woken up after a vv long and exhausting day yesterday so this was a pleasant surprise :>#i haven't really listened to it in full yet bc idk adhd things but when the mood hits right y'all know i'll be VIBING#i never talked abt it but waves and can't get enough were great earworms so i'm excited to see how the rest of the songs will turn out#also hope everyone's doing well here on the btr side of tumblr hehe y'all been absolutely fed this year <3#is this gonna be allen's 2k23 tumblr comeback??? nah prob not i'm too in love with the fooo conspiracy atm but hey maybe also who knows 👀#(*heckler from the back of the audience* NO ONE CARES ABOUT U AND UR TRASH CONTENT IDIOT STFU FOREVER ACTUALLY!!!!!)#but yep. life has been fuck work has been a headache and so many unwanted tragic plot twists this year. but at least we got new btr lezzgo!#also happy pride month y'all!!! just saying this for absolutely no rhyme or reason related to this post at all wdym lmao ¯\_( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)_/¯#okay thats all promise i'll shush now and it's time for old grampa to disappear into the darkest recesses of the internet yet again hejdååå#btr#big time rush#another life#album#stop it forever#lmao i hardly remember my dumbass blog tags;;; it's for the best hdbfkgk
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Anyway.... Back to what I was pondering earlier today... It's been 4 months but I'm still as deeply obsessed with Exotic Creatures of the Deep as at the very start
#00s sparks albums save me#save me 00s sparks albums#the question of how it's been 4 months already aside#i have decided to name this album my official Mental Breakdown Album TM#so it's a good thing that it doesn't really bring me any unhappy associations. even though it could#because when i started listening to it in early march#it turned out to become one of my lowest periods in the mental well-being sense. like. ever.#it's gotten better though and later i discovered that whenever i got into that slump again#and nothing at all felt like an alluring thing to do and even most music couldn't cheer me up#i still felt like listening to ecotd at least#sometimes you get into specific albums or artists at the exact right moment and this was one of such times for sure#i have so many thoughts about this album but if i tried to write them down#it would probably all just be an illegible mess. one day i'll do it though. or at least try to#as for now i can at least say that the possibly most suffering-inducing (positive) songs for me are strange animal and likeable#i'll never forget the moment i first heard strange animal as part of the from the basement set#what a SONG!!! and that entire performance changed my brain chemistry forever#and. GODDDDDKJHKEFLJMKBELKPJ... LIKEABLE!!!#the connection i feel on some metaphysical level to that song the melody the instrumentation the lyrics#is way beyond what words can explain. or i'm just bad at putting these kind of things into words#it's soooo oooughhggahgh.....#also i don't know exactly how it happened#but i can't believe etc immediately became my most listened to song according to my last fm (which i made around then)#and it has stayed in that spot ever since#ok that's my sparks madness talk for today. i'll probably never be normal about them. not that i even want to#sparks am i right. goddddd#goosepost
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Man. All I do these days is fail to meet expectations and then get upset at myself for failing to meet those expectations. This sucks.
#the dragon sings his songs#blowing out smoke#i'm supposed to be taking this break from my course as an opportunity to do the things I've been meaning to do and I've just been rotting—#—in bed on my phone and sleeping in and jacking off like i hardly even get up to eat or go to the bathroom#side note i know this is a textbook sign of depression and burnout (comma) most likely both (comma) but who in my Chinese family is going—#—to believe that? def not mom who'll just scream at me for not sucking it up and pushing through it and not dad who won't do shit#my grandparents might believe me but there's a language barrier on mom's side plus 公公 seems to think I'm the perfect infallible capable—#—[granddaughter] and I can't bear to break his heart with the truth#and then on dad's side they'll probably be sympathetic but everything i tell them makes its way back to my parents and that'll just result—#—in ont huge blowup that'll drive another wedge between mom and dad. and I mean PLEASE hurry up and get divorced but I also don't want 爺爺—#—and 嫲嫲 to get caught in the crossfire#plus I'm supposed to be helping them esp now that 爺爺 is running out of time as an active able-bodied person but instead of doing that I—#—spent all day in bed. which is not helping my guilt and shame on top of everything else i have to deal with (comma) let alone his workload#today's such a nice sunny beautiful day too which makes me feel even worse for not even going for a walk or anything#it's still light out so i could but sunk cost fallacy is kicking my ass plus i have Mandarin class kn a couple hours#and k know it's a couple HOURS but I'd have to get dressed and set a timer and everything and just the thought is so overwhelming that I—#—just can't. i'd ask to be institutionalized if it wasn't for the rampant ableism in the mental health field plus the fact that—#—institutionalization is just an extension of incarceration#if only the people who have power over me would just listen and actually take care of me so i wouldn't have pushed myself to this point
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My mom has suddenly decided I say sorry to much. And she’s right but god getting angry at me about it just triggers it :pppppppppppppppppppp
(She hates it when I stick my tongue out at her so :ppppppppppppp more)
SORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRY
:pppppppppppppppppppppppppppp
It also makes me angry because it reminds of all the times I’ve had to apologize and I DIDNT MEAN IT. And by ‘didn’t mean it’ I’m talking about the times where I had to be the bigger person or someone else was having a power trip or some shit. >:ppppppppp
I just want a totally guiltless, consequence free day where I can be as mean as fancy strikes me. And this is okay. It’s an unrealistic dream and should stay that way. But it’s also okay to feel aggressive and hurt. Two things, surprisingly, can be true at the same time. :ppppppppppppppppppp
#suddenlyish. this ain’t the first time#vent#don’t mind interactions just ain’t looking for solutions#my mom and I had a good day today actually#I’m just winding down and feeling things#my mom cannot function when it’s cold#and by cannot function I mean more her neural pathways for being nice shut down#she’s improved a lot but between her and customer service things to do today I’m just feeling a little upset#I’m also week 8 out from my period and goddamn this hormone shit is cumulative#like you’d think#oh dsc gee whiz since it’s been 8 weeks since your last period#assuming it starts tomorrow#that means all the steps of the period cycle were stretched out proportionally over the doubled length#NOOOOOOO ITS CUMULATIVE#it was 10 weeks in between the second to last one and the last one and I WAS FUCKING MANIC#FUCKKKKKK#BUT IN GOOD NEWS I GOT TO LISTEN TO ALL THE WAKANDA FOREVER SONGS TODAY#AND I GOT A NEW WINTER COAT BASICLALY FOR FREE AND ATE CHEESECAKE AND HAD A GOOD MINI DANCING SESSION#I DO NOT NEED TO MENTION GOOD THINGS IN ORDER TO MAKE MY NEGATIVE FEELINGS VALID BUT IM STILL CONVINCING MYSELF OF THAT FACT AND IM TIRED#AND YELLING FEELS GOOD. UNFORTUNATELY IM AT MY DAD’s house so if I scream I’d probably wake a neighbor#SO IM GONNA SCREAM HERE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#the cute aggression article on Wikipedia is a fun read#EMOTIONAL EXPRESSION#I might go eat more cheesecake
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...
#yelled at my mom today because I got so tired of the way she's been treating me#and it was the absolute worst#and I cried like a baby#I don't mean to say she's the most terrible mom in the world or anything like that (she's not the best but she certainly isn't the worst)#but it's just not fair that I have to help her with everything while my brother doesn't have to do anything#and when I come back from almost a week long trip she doesn't even ask me how it was or even welcome me home#she's just wondering who's gonna do her shopping for her#I don't tell people how I feel...#I bottle it up and let it fester until I explode#and today I exploded#but in the end she just told me to calm down and gave me a hug and I cried and cried and cried#and I haven't been able to stop all day#I don't want to be on the outs with my mom#I love her and I want to be there for her and help her now that she's getting older and her health is deteriorating#but I just can't be at her beck and call 24/7#and I don't want to be upset or angry with her when I don't know how long she's got left#I'm not gonna make the same mistake I made with my dad#sorry for the rant#already feeling better and have almost stopped crying#just have to stop listening to sad songs 🤣
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aw yeeeeeee all ft4 5☆s get!!!!!!!!!
#special shoutout to megu who only got one (rip)#and extra special shoutout to dai who gets the most features in these 5☆s lmaoooooooo#the daizo one is there bc i need to brag about it and my lil’ crackship from the best ft4 event in the game#tbt when i maxed out aizo from dupes while trying to get a dupe dai… sads#and yeah. anyways sorry for the tling inactivity i’ve been burned out from dealing with 2 workstations over the past week s o b s#i’ve screen recorded mona’s main story though so all that’s left is to debate whether to sub it as vids or to just type it like usual…#decisions decisions………. _(:3 」∠)_#i’ll try to speed through sischange tomorrow though before i inevitably get work burnout again this coming week—#just honeypre things#fedora throttle4#aaaa but maaaan… i got the notif that the ft4 dj i bought last week reached the proxy warehouse today… i can’t wait to read itttttt#i miss ft4 so much… they’re such lads~~~ they have great chemistry with each other~~~ and their songs are so fun to listen to too~~~#like y’know that bouncy thing yui does with his voice when he sings syllables that end with the letter u…#it makes taste the greatest ft4 song imo. yui and rio sound like they’re having a total blast#and yui does that voice bouncy thing with p. much all his ‘-ru’s pretty prominently in the song. it’s such ear jelly y’knowwwww#and the girl guest vocals were super sweet to the ear too!!!!! they all sounded so great in that song i love it so much#i’d pay cash moneys for a taste mv no dip. just so that i can loop it with pretty visuals all day long <3333333#wait what was the main point again? hm. well. anyways stan ft4!!!!!!!
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😭😭😭😭😭😭
#rubis jukebox *ੈ✩‧₊˚#been listening to this song all day today and i just like ???#like i love it so much#words can’t express my LOVE for this song#AND WHEN IM BACK IN CHICAGO I FEEL ITTTT#😭😭😭😭😭😭#Spotify
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youtube
the brilliant green - stand by me // the day I run out of tbg videos to post will be the day I stop posting weekly song recs on this blog
#it may be 7am but i know if i don't post this now i probably won't post anything today#and i don't like to have the same pinned post for 3 weeks straight#i wasn't feeling like posting anything too consistently these last couple weeks#i gotta *feel* a song rec man if im gonna queue something i gotta know ill still be playing it by the time it goes up#i listened to the swingin sixties a couple days ago when i was having a lot of anxiety#i think that version of this song may actually be a bit better but you know it's just a good comforting song#bro idek who's getting evicted tonight this is the first week ive honestly been unsure#and i don't even know if i care who goes home!#all i wanna see is how we voted for the superpower competition#i wish either jared or izzy were being backdoored this week tbh over the two actually up for eviction#im done with the way izzy talks to or about people and also jared is saying some gross shit about women on the live feed#that doesn't make the actual cut for the episode#i have two (2) important things i have to do today#one of which is an important virtual meeting at 9 am that my alarm hasn't gone off for yet#yet here i am watching youtube videos and posting songs#i hate being responsible i wish my mummy and daddy had the money to pay for my college in full#and additionally i wish i hadn't been chronically ill for over half my life but here we are doing a damn zoom meeting 🙄#aight yes im pretty stressed as you can tell#the brilliant green#j rock#tommy#90s j rock#tomoko kawase#shunsaku okuda#ryo matsui#song rec#tbt#shut up kaily#also i hope this band does anything ever again i miss them so much i cant even tell you#Youtube
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