#been feeling better physically as well as mentally which means i have time to like do the things i care about and not just transmorgify

[maretriarch]

hope u are doing well today queen

i am actually anon! today's my saturday so I've had a lot of time to do some hobby stuff...finished up that glory sketch...continuing the very baseline work on my derpy fig (so early stages its not even wip pic ready im mostly trying to figure out how to. make a horse. with your bare hands. probably need to start over with a proper wire armature so I can get the sizing right and proportional but that shouldn't be too tricky I was just half assing it with tinfoil and being shocked when it looked half assed.) tried 2 new monster flavors and put in an order for some new ponies in a couple months when my Pony Dealer rolls into town maybe we'll meet up under a scenic meth bridge or smth just for kicks ill leave the money under the bush and she'll throw a pair of horseshoes over a telephone wire to indicate this is the pick up spot or something. also banged out some more lineart on various projects (including another ask u know who u are i am not ignoring u prommy)

[xxsabitoxx]

Confession | Kinktober

Priest Geto Suguru x AFAB Reader

Warnings: religion, sacrilege, fucking a priest, blow jobs, finger fucking, explicit language, squirting, pet names, mild gaslighting

A/N: Day three is here! This one may be offensive to anyone who is religious so please proceed with caution.

WORD COUNT: 3.6K

“Tell me, what have you come here for?” You squirmed a bit against the uncomfortable wooden chair. The box itself was pretty dim, only a small, uncovered lightbulb was illuminating the musty space. Through a mesh window on your left, the man spoke with a gentle tone. “I’ve come to confess my sins to you, father.” You couldn’t calm your racing heart, hands twisting tightly together as you mentally prepare yourself to receive his blessings. “Is that so? Please, my dear, tell me the things that haunt you.” Again, his tone was enough to make you shudder. Although it was gentle, it sparked something warm deep within your gut. 

“You see, father, I’ve been a terribly naughty girl.” You swallowed, eyes shutting slowly as you tried to focus on your own words. “Go on.” This time it was a little less gentle, a little more gruff. It made warmth flood your cheeks, your eyes blinking open in surprise. You knew what the priest looked like, having attended some of his masses before. You knew he was a devastatingly attractive man, one around your age, and one unfortunately sworn to celibacy. That, however, didn’t make you want him any less. “Father Suguru, I’ve done things I shouldn’t have… to myself.” You spoke in a low tone, listening to him hum softly before asking “Like what? What have you done to yourself?” he took the bait, your heart hammering in your chest. 

“I've touched myself, for my own pleasure.” You held your breath, vaguely certain that Father Suguru did too. After a moment of your confession hanging in the air, he spoke up. “Oh? How many times have you committed this sin?” his tone wasn’t as gentle now, rather it held a level of strain to it. You could hear him shifting in his seat on the other side of the small confessional wall. “Many times, father. I’ve lost count… which is why I’ve come to you. I want to be cleansed of my filthy acts, only your generous mercy can free my tainted soul.” You stroked his ego with each word, a devious grin plastering to your lips as you heard him clear his throat. 

“Sweet girl, by his grace I can cleanse you. But for it to truly work, I’m going to need you to be a little more specific. Tell me how you committed this act, recall one of the moments for me.” you could have choked on the little saliva that was in your mouth, heat pooling deep down as you recalled the last time you masturbated. “Oh well, last night I…” You stopped when you heard him inhale sharply, your teeth sinking into the side of your cheek before you asked “Father Suguru, are you alright?” You tried to sound innocent, praying your smirk wasn’t evident in your tone. “I-I’m alright, I was just taken by surprise. I didn’t think you’d be so bold as to touch yourself the night before coming to see me. But by all means…” his tone was mildly condescending “... go on.” 

Your thighs pressed together, alleviating the mild ache just a bit. You hadn’t even gotten into the details with him, yet you could feel your own arousal dampening your underwear. “Well, you see, I was laying in my bed all alone. I got bored, my mind wandered and I started to think about such sinful things, Father. They got the better of me and I found myself kicking off the sheets and using my hands to toy with my breasts.” You swallowed, one hand coming up to hold your breast as you spoke, as if needing a physical reminder for all the things you had done. “A-and that wasn’t enough. I felt so achy down there that I couldn’t help taking my panties off and spreading my legs…” You stopped again, letting it hang in the air as you tried to compose yourself. 

Beyond the confessional wall, Father Suguru was gritting his teeth, trying desperately to even his breathing as his cock started to strain against his pants. He wasn’t supposed to know who was sitting beside him, but your voice was recognizable. What a sinful girl you were, always attending his masses in such short sundresses. Your smile was addicting, just like the way your hips swayed as you walked up to him to chat after the mass was done. The thoughts you made him think, the things you made him feel… you must have been a temptation sent by the devil. But god dammit, it turns out he was a weak, weak man. He couldn’t resist the temptation of you for much longer he feared. Especially now. “And then what did you do?” he breathed out, quieter. 

“Father, is this really necessary?” you feigned innocence again, all the while you were slowly parting your legs. “Y-yes, go on. For your sins to be properly forgiven, you must tell me in detail.” You could hear his voice straining again, threatening to crack if you asked him something else. “Alright then…” you sighed, legs spreading enough for your hand to slip down and press on your aching cunt. You nearly whimpered, swallowing the noise by clearing your throat. “I used my hand to reach down there and play with myself.” You admitted with warm cheeks, the heat radiating from where your fingers were pressing was enough to make you squirm, the old wooden chair creaking as your hips  swivelled. Father Suguru was losing the battle, hand shakily holding his fully erect length and squeezing it roughly in hopes of helping the ache. 

“And?” he said again, as if working on autopilot. “I played with my pussy until I climaxed.” you stated boldly, using two fingers to press directly over your aching clit. You heard it loud and clear now, a deep rumbling groan from the priest beside you. “You know, such a sinful act needs more of a demonstration.” he spoke with a surprisingly level tone, letting go of his aching bulge to stand. You, on the other hand, had frozen in your seat. “A-a demonstration? Father Suguru, I just bore my soul to you by explaining verbally.” But you heard him click his tongue, “Nonsense girl, you’ve yet to bare your soul to me in any capacity.” You pushed your dress down, hand resting on your lap instead of your cunt as you straightened, Through the mesh window, you could see he was standing. “An intervention for a tainted soul like yours needs to happen face to face.” 

You couldn’t help but gasp, watching through the window as he pushed the door to the confessional open and stepped out. A moment later you were standing, shamelessly pushing the door open to stand in front of the clearly worked up priest. “Father Suguru…” you started innocently yet again, as if you weren’t the direct cause of his raging erection. His jaw was clenched tight, his hair out of its uniform bun and instead styled in a half up half down look. It only made you want him more, especially with the way his tanned cheeks were flushed red. His pupils were swallowing the pretty brown of his eyes, his fingers were tugging at the tight collar of his black clergy top. Your eyes zeroed in on the bulge in his pants before trailing back up. 

“You need to get on your knees and beg for forgiveness.” You blinked, eyes roaming the empty pews of the cathedral’s main room. His voice was echoing, sending a shiver down your spine as stain glass windows looked back at you. “Father Suguru I…” you swallowed, truly not anticipating the priest to go as far as he was. You hadn’t gotten this far in your daydreams, because you always convinced yourself the holy man wouldn’t give into temptation. Yet, you were taking a step forward, dropping to your knees before him on the cold marble floor. You felt like you should be ashamed of what you were about to do, not only in front of an altar, but with a priest… a man who swore his life to this work. 

“Don’t speak.” he commanded slowly, fixing you in place with a hard stare. Your lips closed again, any sort of reason leaving your mind as he started undoing his belt with one hand. The other came down to tuck some hair behind your ear, the motion far too gentle for the flames burning in his gaze. “Be a good girl for me, open your mouth and stick out your tongue.” You obeyed, Suguru’s eyes watched with dilated pupils as your pretty lips parted and your tongue appeared. He breathed out through his nose, leaning over you a little as his belt came undone. You flinched as he spit, saliva landing perfectly in your mouth. “Swallow it, sweet girl.” you did, eyes locking with his as you swallowed the contents in your mouth.

“You must really want forgiveness.” He mused, quickly undoing the button and zipper of his black slacks. You nodded slowly, being mindful to remain quiet just as he had asked. “Surely, this is your ticket to salvation.” You held in a gasp as Suguru pulled out his cock. It was certainly bigger than you had anticipated, tanned and long with pretty veins running up the sides. “Father Suguru… please…” you rasped, mouth watering at the sight of his pretty cock. “Atta girl, beg for your forgiveness, you can speak now.” Your lips parted, eyes trained on the oozing tip as Suguru wrapped his hand around the middle of his shaft. He was taunting you with it, moving it side to side just to watch your eyes follow it wherever it went.

“F-father Suguru I… I want to be forgiven for my sins… I want you to cleanse my soul with your gracious hands… Father Suguru please…” you begged him, breathing turning laboured as you waited for him to stop the torture and give you what you wanted. Suguru held his breath for a moment, heart racing as each syllable fell from your lips. “Please… god please.” you were breathless, eyes watering as you looked up at him. “Yes…” Suguru whispered, squeezing his length tightly before taking a half step forward. He was in mouth’s reach now, making your hips wiggle as your lips parted for him. “Please…” you said again, shivering as his second whisper of yes reached your ears. You took initiative now that he gave you his permission. 

You kept your hands folded nearly on your lap, only using your mouth to take him. With Suguru’s guidance, the weeping head of his cock was slipping between your lips. You inhaled through your nose, jaw struggling to open wide enough to accommodate him as you pushed your head further down his length. You were determined to take the priest’s entire cock, you wanted to hear his pretty moans bouncing off the walls of the cathedral. You locked eyes with him, swallowing around him just to see his eyes nearly roll back. You had to wonder if this was the first time he had ever gotten head, maybe this would be the first time he ever got to touch a woman. The idea of the priest above you being a virgin made your cunt clench around nothing. 

Suguru’s lips were parted, letting go of his cock as you began to bob your head, hands obediently on your lap. “Such a good girl… such a good girl… so so good…” be babbled softly, hands coming to cup your cheeks and guide you as his cock slipped in and out of the wet cavern of your mouth. You got off on his praise, fingers itching to sink between your thighs and toy with your clit just as you had described to father Suguru moments earlier. “So good, you’re such a good girl for not touching yourself yet. Surely you’ll be forgiven…” he groaned, head tilting back as your nose brushed the dark mess of hair at the base of his cock before you pulled back again. Each pass over your tongue, each time your throat constricted around him, it was enough to send him into a blissful state of euphoria. It was enough to make him question his beliefs. 

Your mouth was too preoccupied to ask, but you desperately wanted to touch his balls. They were sitting there, taunting you, growing shiny as your saliva cascaded down his shaft. You moved one hand, eyes still locked on his neck and chin since he was tilting his head back, to test the waters. Suguru didn’t seem to notice as your fingers danced up his thigh, tongue still lavashing him as your head moved back and forth in a steady rhythm. You hesitated for only a moment before gingerly cupping him, watching as his head shot forward to look down at you with a shocked expression. They were warm and heavy with his cum, tightening as you massaged them between your fingers. “Oh… good girl…” he said again, voice a little more broken than before as he uttered the same praise for you. 

The repetitiveness of it wasn’t an issue for you, if anything it got you going more. Every time he uttered the phrase, you felt yourself grow wetter, you were certain your panties were absolutely destroyed at this point. “I-I’m going to cum if you keep doing that… is that what you want, sweet girl?” he cooed, regaining a little composure as he spoke to you. You hummed, sending vibrations straight through him and eliciting a moan from his lips. “You want my cum, don’t you sweet girl. You want me to shoot my load right down your throat, right?” you hummed again, moaning around his twitching length as you squeezed his balls a little harder. Suguru cursed, the sound coming from the priest were enough to have your nipples bubbling, brushing uncomfortably against the material of your bra. “Fuck…fuck…” he panted, cheeks flushing a dark shade of pink as his fingers buried in your hair, no longer gentle as he rutted his hips into your mouth. 

You gagged, fully unprepared for the priest to take over the way he had, the sound echoing and only fueling the fire in his gut. Tears welled in your eyes, spilling over and down your cheeks as you let him thrust into your mouth as he pleased, fingers fisting in your hair just as your free hand fisted in the material of your sundress. You inhaled through your nose, lightheaded as the priest abused your throat to his liking. “Gonna… fuck gonna cum… oh yes, fuck… gonna cum down that pretty throat.” you whined, eyes nearly shutting before he commanded you to keep them open. “Look at me, the only way you can be forgiven is if you look at me, sweet-ah-girl.” He gritted his teeth, the pleasure ebbing up the back of his spine was going to make his knees week. Dutifully, you kept your eyes on him, watching his jaw go slack before he finally came. 

You flinched, throat constricting at the extra intrusion but relaxing a moment later. You swallowed, mildly disappointed he had waited until he was nearly down your throat to cum. You didn’t get to taste much, not until he drew his hips back and the salty taste dragged over your tongue. Suguru was panting, watching you reach up to rub your aching jaw as he tried to even his breathing. “You’re on the road to forgiveness, sweet girl. But I don’t quite think you’re there yet.” You looked at him with mild hurt, you had thought you had done so good. “Be a doll and strip for me… sit on the pew and demonstrate your sins from last night.” the priest was tucking his now softened cock away, trying to act as if he weren’t flustered in the slightest. “Father Suguru…” you spoke, voice slightly raspy from his use. 

“Yes? I believe I made myself clear.” he watched as you stood to your full height again, pulling your sundress off with no shame. You held his gaze as you pulled your ruined panties down, making sure he could see how destroyed they were before dropping them on the cold marble and walking down the few steps to the first row of pews. “I would much rather instruct you, I think it only makes sense for your pure hands to cleanse me of my sins in the deepest way.” You sat on the cold, polished wood, looking up at him where he stood on the elevated stage. He seemed to ponder your implications, huffing out a laugh before responding. “I guess that makes the most sense, you’re quite a smart, sweet girl.” You smiled at him, spreading your legs and moving to plant your feet on the pew. You were fully spread, the position mildly uncomfortable but you couldn’t really think past that point as cool air met your slick, displayed cunt. 

“Father Suguru, please… I want to be pure.” you coaxed him down, watching as he took shaky footsteps before dropping to his knees before you. “Tell me, sweet girl. Tell me how you indulged yourself and tainted your soul… let me save you.” You shivered as his fingers trialed up the bare skin of your thighs, brown eyes observing your cunt dutifully. Your hands found their home pressed flat to either side of you, supporting you against the polished wood. “My clit… I played with it until I left a wet mark on my sheets… I didn’t let myself cum for a long while…” you breathed out, watching as he nodded, cheeks red and lips glossy as his tongue swiped across them. “I see…” he started, moving one calloused finger to swipe up your slick folds. “...like this? Gentle strokes and circles, right?” he used his thumb to press against your clit, rubbing it in circles until he felt you twitch. “Y-yeah…” you sighed, head falling back. 

Suguru smirked, not moving any quicker. Your pretty sounds began to fill the empty cathedral, your arousal dripping down to the polished bench below you. He was careful with his movements, slowing until he was barely moving when he noticed you clenching around nothing, trying to draw your orgasm closer. “Be a good girl and let it happen… don’t force your body to cum because you think I’ll leave you hanging, sweet girl.” you whined, releasing the breath you didn’t know you were holding until he said that. You forced your head back down, face warm as you realized he was still intently staring at you. Granted you had done the same to him as you got him off. “Tell me, is this how you were sinning last night?” Suguru waited until you were about to speak, using two fingers and slipping them straight into your slick core. “Y-yeah…” 

Your body tensed again at the intrusion, moaning loudly as he massaged your walls. “I promise you, sweet girl, I will cleanse you.” he cooed, eyes focusing solely on you as he gauged your reactions. He would find that one particular spot, he was sure of it. “Please Father Suguru… cleanse me…” you cried out as he brushed it, a smirk curling the ends of his lips as he pressed his fingers into the front of your walls, thumb still sloppily rubbing your clit while his other hand squeezed your thigh. “S-Su…Father Suguru…” you croaked, tears leaking down your cheeks as he abused that one spongy part of your cunt. You couldn’t think straight, mind blanking completely as wave after wave of pleasure washed over you. “Go on, sweet girl, cum on my fingers.” He encouraged, voice so gentle you would have never guessed he was knuckle deep in your cunt. 

Suguru could feel it of course, your walls fluttering and twitching around his fingers as more and more of your slick arousal slipped out of you and down to the pew. “I’m gonna cum… Fa-ahh” you couldn’t get the rest out, hip jerking as your orgasm hit you before you could truly prepare. You cried out, the noise bouncing off of the cathedral walls as the priest continued to finger your cunt and circle your clit with his thumb. “S-Stop oh fuck s-stop…” you wheezed out, an unfamiliar feeling building in your gut as he continued to abuse that one spot with his fingers. “No, this is what you need, sweet girl, let it happen.” he encouraged, lips parted as he watched where his fingers had disappeared inside of you very intently. Your eyes screwed shut, trying to fight off the feeling but it was useless, the priest was unrelenting in his movements. 

Shockwaves of your orgasm turned into a full blown tsunami, your head falling back as a gush of fluid sprayed out of you and onto the bench and marble floor below. You cried out, his name mixed somewhere in the jumble of your babbling, utterly embarrassed. Finally, Father Suguru stopped, withdrawing from your body entirely and getting off his knees. “Sweet girl, what a mess.” he scolded you, a devious grin on his face still as he looked your wrecked frame over. “You’ve been cleansed, pretty. But I would argue that we should double… or even triple check to make sure it’s really working.” Your body felt heavy, eyes lidded as you merely nodded, cunt still fluttering at the thought of getting more of the priest before you. 

“I’ll make sure you are pure, my sweet girl.”  

[elllisaaa]

ARE YOU DUMB, DUMB, DUMB ? - C. BEOMGYU

KINKTOBER DAY 11 - HATE SEX

SUMMARY : surely, everyone on campus knows how much you and beomgyu hate each other. but being locked in the library one evening because you both stayed too late studying forces you to communicate, for the better or for the worse.

-> pairing : academic rival!beomgyu x fem!reader

-> words count : 2.2k

-> genre : smut

-> warnings : hate sex (obviously), swearing, use of 'bitch' , 'slut' & 'brat', slight choking, oral (m. receiving), hair pulling, face fucking, rough sex, spanking, pussy slapping, unprotected sex, dirty talk, teasing, degradation, creampie,

+ the way i'm depicting beomgyu does not represent him, it's only a work of fiction

-> 18+ content bellow, minors DNI

-> reblogs and feedbacks are appreciated ! sorry for any mistakes, english is not my first language.

-> masterlist | txt masterlist | kinktober 2024

“- Fuck… It’s closed.”

You distinctly heard Beomgyu scoffing from behind you, seconds before he pushed you away to try to open the library's door by himself. But even as he pulled hard on the handle, and shook it in every direction possible, it still wouldn’t open. You sighed as you came back to your table to pick up your phone, trying to call the university reception. But it was too late, nobody was there anymore. 

“- That’s your fucking fault.”

You snapped your head up at Beomgyu’s accusatory tone, looking at him with anger boiling in your gaze. It was common knowledge that the two of you hated each other - firstly because you always competed for the best grades, and secondly because you just couldn’t stand each other. It was physical, every time you saw him, you felt the need to push him away and remind him that you were better. 

“- How is that my fault ? If you hadn’t spent an hour trying to decide which part you wanted to do maybe we would have been out by now.

- Well, maybe if you hadn’t spend all your fucking time looking over my shoulder and criticising everything that I did, maybe we would’t be trapped in here. 

- And if you hadn’t tried to correct every idea that I proposed, maybe we would have progressed quicker. 

- And maybe if you weren’t such an annoying bitch, I wouldn’t be stuck with you here.”

You hadn’t realized how close you and Beomgyu got as you shouted at each other's faces, now standing only a few feets apart. You looked into his eyes, seeing that they were burning with the exact same rage as yours. You stared at each other for a few seconds, a tension you knew all too well starting to build up. You were the first to look away, turning your back to him as you went to sit back down at the table you were previously working at. 

You could still feel Beomgyu’s gaze on you as you put your glasses back on and tried to focus again. You had meant to do this calmly, to just get over this presentation you had to do together as quickly as possible, but it seemed like destiny was against you. Ultimately, Beomgyu joined you and got back to work too, no words being exchanged between the two of you for some time. 

“- You made a mistake.”

You clenched your jaw to stop yourself from saying something mean and sarcastic again as you turned to Beomgyu who was shamelessly watching over your shoulder at what you were writing on your laptop. 

“- Mind your business.”

He rolled his eyes at you as he ran a hand through his long brown hair, and you had to mentally stop yourself to detail him as he did so. It was true that you had thought once that Beomgyu was attractive, but that was before discovering how much of an asshole he was, how much of a petty jerk he was. 

“- Thought you wanted this to be perfect ?”

The cocky smirk that spread on his face as you reluctantly turned your laptop his way so that he could fix the mistake you allegedly made gave you an urge to punch him in the face, and it made him 100% hotter too. You let him write what he wanted, pretending to be busy taking notes and not like you were closely listening to the husky tone of his voice due to him not drinking enough water. 

“- You should’ve let me do the hard part.”

This time, it was your turn to roll your eyes at him as you took your laptop back from him. Though he was right about your mistake, you couldn’t resist the urge to throw a snarky remark his way. 

“- If I look at what you did, I’m pretty sure I’ll find more than one mistake. So shut the fuck up and focus on your part.”

You tried to ignore the way he was staring at you as you tried to get back to work, jumping in your place as he quite literally threw his notebook your way, leaning back into his chair as he gestured for you to take it. 

“- Go on then, find my mistakes.”

You glared at him daringly for a few seconds before you grabbed his notebook and let your eyes rack over the pages, a triumphant smirk spreading on your face as you circled an error with your pen. You handed him back his notebook the same way he gave it to you, your eyes sparkling with victory as you distinctly saw his face fall as he realized that he had, in fact, made a mistake.

“- You should quit thinking that you’re the most intelligent person on this earth Beomgyu.”

His eyes were burning with a newfound rage as he looked back at you, leaning over the table and closer to you. Maybe a little too close, but for now, you didn’t care, you only wanted to prove your point.

“- You think you’re so smart, uh ? Think you can provoke me like this and never pay for it ?”

His tone had a hint of something darker that you’ve never heard before, and it had a touch of something you recognized as lust. The way Beomgyu was looking at you as if he was going to eat you alive made you gulp down as you answered in a strangled voice, the atmosphere getting heavy with all the unspoken emotions, the unresolved tension that had been lingering between the two of you for months. 

“- Then what are you gonna do, uh ? 

- This.”

Before you could even react, Beomgyu had wrapped his hand around your neck, pulling you closer to him until he could crash his lips against yours in a messy kiss. You thought you would want to put up much more of a fight, but instead, you melted under his lips, under his fingers tightening their hold around your throat, making you gasp in his mouth. 

“- See ? Not so much of a brat once I tame you.

- Go to hell.”

You pushed him away from you and back in his chair, dropping on your knees in between his legs and quickly undoing his pants. You didn’t let him think too much before you put his cock in your mouth, coating it with your saliva as you slowly worked to get all of him into your mouth. About that, the rumors were true for once - Beomgyu was big, bigger than you thought. 

You heard his breath hitch in his throat as you wrapped your hand around the part of him you couldn’t fit into your mouth, starting to bob your head up and down in a rhythmic pace. Soon enough, Beomgyu’s hand was tangled into your hair, his hips thrusting up to harshly bury himself deeper into your mouth. You let him believe that he had some control over the situation, even though with every swipe of your tongue, he let out a string of curses and airy moans. 

“- You’re such a fucking slut… Knew you’ll be, fuck !”

You looked up at him as you hollowed your cheeks, seeing how hard he was biting down on his bottom lip to prevent himself from moaning. But his chest heaving rapidly, and the way his gaze was unfocused and filled with desire was giving it away. He seemed so gone already, but also so fucking hot - with his cheeks all red, and his hair messy from pushing them away from his face. And Beomgyu wanted to be mean, to not let you get back at him se easily, but the feeling of your warm mouth around him made his brain fuzzy, filled with nothing but thoughts of you. All his secret fantasies about fucking you, about shutting you up by eating you out, about making you suck his cock just like right now came back to his mind. 

“- S-Shit…”

Beomgyu closed his eyes to escape the sinful view of you on your knees, of your big doe eyes looking up at him as you gagged around his cock. He didn’t want to admit it, but he felt close already. And by the satisfied hum you let out, it was obvious that you could feel it too. But he still had some dignity, some ego, and he wasn’t about to finish just like that. 

He yanked your head back, tugging hard on your hair that he was still holding, his eyes staring at the way your lips were coated in both your saliva and his precum. And despite the urge he had to make you scream his name, to make you admit that he was better than you, he couldn’t resist how bad he wanted to kiss you again. And you let Beomgyu slip his tongue into your mouth again, fighting for dominance as if it was another competition. Though, you couldn’t keep your moans for yourself, and you could clearly hear how he was groaning against your mouth, swallowing every one of your sounds. 

“- I’m gonna show you who’s better.”

Without any more warnings, Beomgyu pushed you to lay on the table, your ass up in the air and presenting him a perfect view of your panties underneath your pleated skirt. He hated you for wearing them nearly everyday, but he hated himself even more for not being able to look at your legs without getting hard, for not being able to stop dreaming about the taste you’d have. One of his hands came down to slap your ass over your skirt, forcing a strangled moan out of you, and Beomgyu smirked as he let his fingers glide against the soaked material of your panties. 

“- Don’t act like you’re not enjoying this, you’re already so fucking wet from sucking me off. You really are a fucking slut.”

He landed another slap, against your pussy this time, and you cried out louder. You couldn’t lie and say that you didn’t like it, that you didn’t like the way he did not care enough to strip you from your underwear and just pulled them to the side to thrust into you. You bit down on your lips to keep yourself from moaning too loud, not wanting to give him this satisfaction. Your thighs were trembling as you closed your eyes shut, but you couldn’t stop yourself from clenching down around him, making him release a shaky breath as he gripped your waist tight. 

“- Y-You’re a fucking loser… You’re so lame you have to fuck the girl you hate, isn’t that pathetic ?”

You both knew you didn’t think a word of that, both knew that it was only to provoke him further and Beomgyu answered by thrusting deep into you, letting you feel all of his impressive size. Your hands closed around one of your research papers as he picked up a rough and punishing pace, crumbling it in between your fingers to try and keep some ancrage to reality. And when Beomgyu tugged on your hair to force your back to arch, slightly changing the angle of his hips and allowing him to hit your sweet spot, you couldn’t help the moan that escaped your lips. You could feel the smirk that spread on his face as he bit down on your shoulder, leaving his mark on your body. 

“- Say that again. Go on. Tell me that you’re not enjoying this, tell me that you don’t like it.”

You shook your head as best as you could, but you couldn’t get the words out. It wasn’t true, you felt so good, better than any other guy before ever made you feel, but you couldn’t tell him that, you just couldn’t. 

“- You don’t want to ? Guess I’ll have to fuck the answer out of you, uh ?”

Before you could even react, he had started to pound into you, the table underneath the two of you moving and cracking with each one of his powerful thrusts. And you couldn’t hold back your moans even if you wanted to, tears gathering in your eyes as you felt yourself get closer and closer with each one of his dirty words. You hated that he felt so good. You hated that he was better than you without doing anything when you had to work for every little crumb of recognition. You hated that you would probably never be able to cum without thinking about his dick, about his big hands squeezing your waist, about the way he breathlessly moaned your name as he came inside of you, about the way he fucked you through the most intense orgasm of your life. 

“- Is there someone in here ? We had multiple calls from two students locked in, are you there ?”

You looked back at him in horror, still bent over the table, with his cock buried deep inside of you. Beomgyu grunted as you clenched around him in fear, scolding himself for the way he almost got hard again. 

“- Y-Yeah, we’re here !”

You glared at him angrily as he shouted back to the person on the other side of the door, hearing them turning a key into the lock as you were still trying to fix your appearance. When the secretary that came to rescue you walked in, you looked like a hurricane had run over you, and Beomgyu didn’t fare any better. And you hated how he smirked proudly when he saw you walk out of the librairie with trembling legs. And you hated how easy it had been for him to make you addicted to his cock. You still hated him and his cocky personality and his insufferable behavior, but your pussy already ached to feel him inside of you again.

-> i don't allow any copies, reposts or translations of my work.

kinktober taglist (dm or comment to be added) :

txt taglist (fill in this to be added) :

@bbgnyx @hann1bee @heevllog @lichyuu @foxinnie8 @lala-----------lala @hyunstxns @urlocal-user

@d-dilemma @bath1lda @anxiousskylar @mikaelless @leeknowinggg

[shanastoryteller]

Happy Halloween! Would love more of F is for Frankenstein! 🧟‍♂️

a continuation of 1

Twelve hours later JARVIS has brought him up to speed on what was clearly the weirdest week of his life, the fabrication units are working on a better container for his corpse than the damn suit, and they’ve identified nearly a hundred ways that this plan isn’t going to work.

JARVIS isn’t deterred.

One of the advantages of being a synthetic person is that he can’t feel exhaustion physically, although this whole experience has confirmed that he can feel it mentally. The downside to this is that he doesn’t have any sort of natural que to alert him to the passage of time.

Which means he doesn’t have any idea how long it’s been until it occurs him to check and he frowns. There’s something not quite right, besides the obvious. “Did you – shouldn’t I have gotten some calls or something by now? What did you tell them?”

It’s been almost twenty four hours since he died. Even with the clean up from a massive alien invasion to see too, he’s sort of expected someone to reach out to him. Agent Coulson is such a stickler for timely debriefs –

Ah. He was such a stickler for timely debriefs. Tony isn’t the only one that hadn’t gotten out of this mess alive.

“Sir has received eighty nine assorted calls and texts from Miss Potts, fifty three from Colonel Rhodes, one hundred and twelve from Mr. Hogan, and seventeen from various SHIELD personnel. Two of those are from Director Fury personally. There have been close to a thousand from various news and media companies, but those have been ignored and deleted per Sir’s standing orders.”

It’s amazing how well he’s able to synthesize and interpret emotion. He’d installed a rudimentary AI into – well, himself, he guesses, and that combined with the memory dump is really exceeding all of his expectations. He knows this because he’s appalled. “JARVIS! What the hell? If we’re going to convince the world I’m not dead, we have to talk to people!”

“Is that what we’re going to do?” JARVIS asks.

There’s steel in his voice, a warning buried in there. TONY’s heard that tone before but never, ever directed at him.

Except it’s not. Jarvis would never talk to Tony Stark like that, but he’s not Tony Stark. He’s just one more robot and AI for Jarvis to corral, although sophistication wise he’s several steps ahead of his helper bots. Except he might not be, because not even Butterfingers would be dumb enough to agree to something like this.

“It’s not going to work,” he says harshly, because it isn’t. “But yeah, I guess that’s what we’re going to do.”

“Calling Miss Potts,” JARVIS says promptly, and Jesus, that’s not what he meant at all.

“Don’t,” he hisses, but of course it’s too late and Pepper picks up immediately.

“Tony?” she asks, voice shaky and hoarse and faint. She’s been crying. She’s been crying hard enough that it’s stolen her voice and he knows Jarvis was focused on other things, but he could have at least sent her a text. “Are you okay? Where are you?”

He breathes and then leans over, elbows on his knees and his face in his hands. He doesn’t even have an omelette to hide behind this time. He knows he’s dead and he’s seriously considering the idea that this is hell.

“Tony?” she repeats, voice going up several notches in the way he hates. She’s afraid. He hates when she’s afraid.

He forces him mouth to move, forces words pass his lips. “Hey, Pep.”

“Oh god, Tony,” she says and then there are tears again. He wishes he could hold her, could kiss her tears away and could fold his arms around her delicate shoulder and tuck her beneath his chin, keeping her safe and keeping her close. Except he can’t do any of that, because he’s not Tony Stark. “Tony, Tony – you left so quickly and we couldn’t find you and no one’s been able to get in contact with you and JARVIS is offline in the tower and – where are you? Are you okay? I watched you fly that bomb into the portal, and,” she has to cut herself off to try and keep from crying again.  

You watched me die, he thinks, although he obviously doesn’t say it. “Hey, breathe for me, okay? Deep calming breaths, I know you have a lot experience with those around me-”

“Don’t tell me to breathe!” she snaps. “Where are you, Tony? What’s going on?”

He hesitates. They haven’t discussed this, and they really should have before JARVIS put that call through. Unless this is a test, and wow, his AI are such assholes. That old curse about having kids that are just like you is making more sense by the second.

“Something happened to my memory,” he says, which is probably the only true thing he’ll be able to tell her and will hopefully cover the gaps of things that JARVIS couldn’t tell him. “I got here and passed out and I just woke up and I panicked and I don’t – I saw space, and the – the aliens, which is so weird to say Pepper, I need you to fully appreciate how weird that is, but my head is killing me and nothing makes sense. The last memory I have on Earth is us running final checks on the clean energy prototype.”

He's a terrible person. Or, well, a terrible android. Whatever.

“Where is here?” she presses, her voice softening and strengthening both. It’s always so much easier for her get her bearings when she’s the one taking care of him, which is probably why she’s always so steady. She’s always taking care of him. “Where are you, Tony?”

There’s no getting around this one. Jarvis probably won’t be happy about it, but TONY isn’t really happy with him right now either. “Malibu. I’m at the Malibu house. Sorry, I don’t know why I came here – I mean, I really don’t, I was blacked out for most of it. Give me a couple hours for everything to stop spinning and I’ll head back to New York. Wait, are you still in New York? You were going have to leave early for that thing after we tested the prototype-”

“I am in New York now,” she says, almost sounding calm. “Do not fly the suit if things are spinning Tony, I swear to god.”

“It’s fine, it’s fine, just a little spinning, you’re so dramatic-”

“Tony!” she interrupts, but the hitch in her voice is laughter instead of tears. “God, Tony. I’m so glad you’re okay. I love you, so, so much.”

If there is a hell for androids, that’s where he’s going.

“Yeah,” he says, “I’m glad you’re okay too, Pep.” He can’t say it but he has to say it because Tony would say it, because Tony loves saying it, because he loves her so much that it sits heavier on his chest than the arc reactor ever could. “I love you too.”

He stares at his hands for a long time after the call ends. His fingerprints are Tony’s, of course, and his hair is Tony’s and his memories are Tony’s and this feeling that he wants to call love belongs to Tony too. None of it is his.

Well, except the guilt. That’s definitely his.

“Incoming call from Colonel Rhodes,” JARVIS announces.

“Answer it,” he says. Why is he so damn tired? He’ll have to run a diagnostic on his processors later.

There’s nothing but harsh breathing down the line, filling every corner of the workshop. TONY thinks, maybe a little hysterically, that it’s the only breathing happening here. He’s designed to mimic it, but it’s nothing besides that, mimicry. “Hi Papa Bear, how are things?”

The heavy breathing stops, for so long that TONY wonders if they got disconnected, then Rhodey bites out, “I’m going to kill you, Tony! I’m too damn old for this, you can’t keep giving me heart attacks every time I take my eyes off you!”

Too late. Tony’s already dead.

“You’re only two years older than me,” he says. “If it weren’t for me, you would have been the youngest freshman at MIT. Besides, a heart attack or two is character building, I’ve had like. Seven. Ish.”

“Reminding me how many times you’ve almost died is not your smartest move right now,” Rhodey says. “Tell me you’re okay.”

It’s a demand, an order, firm and unyielding like he’s one of Rhodey’s underlings. Except that Tony was giving orders way before Rhodey was, with the whole running his own multi-billion dollar business thing, and that tone of voice has never worked on him. Still, he says, “I’m okay.”

“Tony,” he says warningly, clearly not believing him, which is fair enough. He is lying.

TONY sighs, hanging his head like he can stretch the tension out of him, but that’s not how things work anymore. He’s vibranium and silicone and some other interesting materials and all his tension is mental. “Sour patch, I’m fine. Okay? Confused as all hell, but I’m okay. I’m sorry I worried you. I really didn’t mean to.”

“You never mean to,” Rhodey says, but his voice has softened and lowered. It sounds like he’s holding the phone even closer. “You almost never mean to.”

“It’s just difficult, is the thing, because you’re a little prone to worrying, a worrywart, as your mother might say-”

“My mother worries more about you than me and always has even though I used to be only one us getting blown up,” he says.

TONY pauses, considering. “Well, she is a smart lady.”

“Damn straight,” he agrees. “Pepper says you’re in Malibu. I can be there in two hours.”

“No!” he shouts, then winces. His eyes skitter over to the suit holding Tony’s body. They need a plan and that plan can’t involve Rhodey being here in two hours. “Don’t. Stay with Pepper. Please.”

“She’s fine,” Rhodey retorts. “You-”

“I’m fine,” he interrupts. “I’m fine, she’s fine, we’re both fine, except she’s in the city that was recently invaded by murderous aliens and I’m not and I have a suit of armor with repulsor technology and she doesn’t, so. Stay with her. Please.”

The silence drags on then Rhodey lets out an aggravated sigh. “Fine. But get your ass over here and if you miss another call from either of us I’m heading over, no matter what you say.”

“Sir yes sir,” he says.

He expects Rhodey to hang up on him then, but he lingers, nothing but his real, non synthetic breathing on the other end. “You really scared me this time. I saw the news reports and then we couldn’t find you-”

“Hey,” he says softly. A bomb and Tony disappearing and Rhodey unable to anything about it. Tony wasn’t the only one of them that had nightmares after Afghanistan. Neither of them had ever been particularly good at sleeping, but it was nearly impossible those months after, when he and Rhodey were fighting and Tony was hiding Iron Man and they still crawled into the same bed because Rhodey got frantic if he reached out in the middle of the night and found the bed empty. Which he often would, considering how much time Tony was spending in his workshop.

They shared a bed more after Afghanistan than before it. Rhodey had been willing to risk the paparazzi and exposure if his other option was staring up at his ceiling and having a panic attack about Tony being gone. Tony had been bitter about that, which certainly hadn’t helped their fight about weapons manufacturing any.

Pepper’s nightmares had been easier. She’d only been his assistant and friend at the time, after all. She would call him at two or three or four in the morning – or all three – and have some sort of urgent question or something for him to sign and he just went along with it because she just needed to hear his voice to fall back asleep and he’d learned after the first teary voicemail and alert from JARVIS that when he didn’t pick up, her vitals were out of acceptable range, per the prototype StarkWatch on her wrist.

It wasn’t until after they got together that she told him she actually drove to his house most nights and called him from her car rather than her bed. Just in case he didn’t answer, which wasn’t logical and didn’t make any sense at all but Pepper hadn’t pretended it had.

They’d all gone a little crazy, after Gulmira, but they’d settled.

But this is going to bring it all bubbling up and if TONY doesn’t figure out a way to reassure them then they’re going to want to stick close to him like they had before and he can’t let them do that. He can’t keep up pretending to be Tony forever and it’s going to be either Pepper or Rhodey who figures it out. He doesn’t need to help that process along at all.

Except that since they watched Tony fly a nuke into space and then hadn’t heard from him in two days, that’s basically impossible. The fact that it wasn’t three months and from their perspective he’s actually fine is going to help, but the level of damage control he’s capable of here is fairly minimal.

Still, he has to try.

“Honey,” he says, making his voice soft and warm like Tony only does when they’re alone. He doesn’t know where Rhodey is now, if he’s somewhere private, but he doesn’t hang up or stop him. All the stupid nicknames were fun and genuinely affectionate but they were also cover for the times that Tony slipped and called him something he shouldn’t, a little too genuine and not quite kitsch enough to pass muster. “Love, it’s okay. I got my head knocked around some, that’s all. And because I freaked out and ended up on the wrong side of the country, I need you in New York, doing what I can’t. That’s all. I’ll be there soon.”

If there’s a hell for androids, TONY is going there and the hellfire will be hot enough to melt his vibranium core, which, you know, is going to the be least of what he deserves.

“I love you,” Rhodey says. TONY closes his eyes. “You know that, right, baby? I do.”

It’s a bad, bad sign that Rhodey is the one using pet names, especially over the phone. “I know. Of course I know. I’ve always known.”

Over two decades of secrets and hiding and fooling around with women he didn’t give a shit about, before Pepper, and through every lonely, angry, desperately sad moment of it, Tony had known that Rhodey loved him. He wouldn’t have put up with that shit for anything less.

Tony died knowing that Rhodey loved him. TONY is sure of it. It’s the worst sort of cold comfort and he’s glad that he can’t offer it.

“I love you,” TONY echoes, because Tony’s been saying it for twenty six years and there’s no good reason for him to stop now.

Except that Tony is dead. He’ll never tell Rhodey that he loves him again.

One day Rhodey and Pepper will find out that the truth and know that while they heard Tony’s voice telling them what they needed to hear, while they let relief nudge out the fear, Tony was dead and cold and gone.

He hates this. This wasn’t what he was programmed for.

This isn’t what Tony would have wanted. But until he can convince JARVIS of that, they’re all stuck in this hell of the AI’s making.

[nymphia-tarot]

Your first date with them 🌸 [PAC]

pile 1 ----> pile 2

pile 3 ----> pile 4

Paid readings ($2.99)

🌸 meditate on the pics and pick whichever one calls to you the most. you might feel drawn to more than one pile, which means you may have messages in other piles for you as well! if you don't feel particularly drawn to any pile, the messages in this reading might not be intended for you. since this is a general reading, take what resonates! 🌸

🌸 Pile 1:

I'm getting that this date is something that was a long-awaited thing. Like you or your person might have been planning or dreaming of this for quite a while. You might have met this person at a very crucial time of your life, almost as if the stars aligned perfectly at that moment, and they've been fairly impactful to you. Maybe you met them at school/uni or somewhere relevant to your educational field. This is a person that has been overall pretty important to you in your life, for maybe some sort of karmic lesson, and your connection has been fated to occur.

Pile 1, this is someone you're carefully considering as a serious option. And I feel like the date is a way for you to determine the course of your future with them. A lot of individuals who picked this pile are independent thinkers with a discerning judgement on people. Lots of sapiosexuals too. You want someone to match you at your level and it seems like the date between you two will be a very stimulating experience. The two of you will have a lot of deep conversations and get to know each other better at an intellectual and philosophical level.

There's a good chance of this relationship ending up in marriage for a lot of you. A proposal or offer from your partner. However, I feel like the future of the relationship isn't really that good? Like you're both very fine people but after a while the initial passion and spark would just die down, making the relationship feel very stagnant. Some of you might even stay and do your best to make it work even though it really isn't working. I'm also getting the possibility of cheating for some? If the worst happens, I feel like the best thing to do is to let go and give yourself freedom.

🌸 Pile 2:

Maybe a lot of yall in pile 2 have a tendency to get lowkey delusional when it comes to matters of love. Like getting infatuated and idealising the other party, mostly living in fantasy and maybe you guys read way too much love tarot. I'm seeing a lot of you guys won't really go in with a clear head for this date overall. Hampered intuition, reading too much into lines, limerence, etc. When you actually do get to date your person I'm seeing that it'll finally ground you and make you see them for who they really are and evaluate your own feelings and the future of this relationship from a more realistic lens.

Maybe a lot of you guys' partner here is rich or at least financially stable or abundant. They may even have generational wealth. You guys are going to get spoilt on your date though. Lavished materially, lowkey sugar daddy/mommy vibes, etc. You guys might go to a really fancy place and enjoy a luxurious date with them. However, there's a chance there's a sort of power imbalance in the end, like maybe they're someone who is on a more powerful position systematically or in any other way, they have power over you. I'm getting it's mostly financially though for most of you guys.

Overall, you might end up feeling disillusioned from your previous notions and expectations in this date and they might feel restricted or caged in some way by how you view them. It's like they'll realise that the idea you have of them in your mind does not represent who they are. You might even end up having conflicting views/mentalities.

🌸 Pile 3:

I feel like this is a connection thats mostly fueled by physical attraction/lust which is passionate, fiery and can be all-consuming. You might have been in a bit of a slump before the date occurs and I'm getting that one or both you felt unfulfilled by the current situation of your relationship/where you stand with each other. Maybe the relationship you guys have is something that's a bit unconventional so it can get tough.

It seems like the date will end up in heartbreak for one or both you in some way. I'm getting a serious breach of trust and breaking a promise or vow you had made to each other. It can either end in a break up or continuing to nurture a tattered/unfulfilling relationship. For most of you the one who betrayed the other is your partner in this relationship. Maybe you've wanted to be official with them for a while only to have the devastating realisation that it's not feasible to happen.

After this date, your feelings for your person might dull down or even fade completely. You might get your joys shattered and end up deciding that happiness for you doesn't lie here. As for your person, I'm ngl they seem very physically-driven. They might be trapping you in some way in this relationship in a way that isn't healthy. Like, even if you're unhappy, your person doesn't see it and continues to thrive and take and take while keeping you constrained, not letting you break free of unhealthy cycles. Their feelings for you are mostly lust.

🌸 Pile 4:

The dynamic/relationship between you two might be kinda slow-moving and the lowkey. Maybe you both took a long time to ask each other out finally and was in a sort of stalemate before deciding to go "screw it, you only live once" and shooting your shots. Since it feels like something that happens more haphazardly and on impulse, the date might be slightly awkward for you guys. One or both of you may stumble over your words a lot or kinda not know what to do. This feels kinda frustrating yet adorable from an outside perspective and there might be a lot of internal cursing involved lol.

However, once you actually get through it, you'll realise it really wasn't that bad and overall end up quite fulfilled and happy. At the end, the date might actually go pretty well despite the initial awkwardness once you get the hang of it. If you guys do continue with your relationship, it might actually lead to a lot of growth and development for both of you. I'm also sensing that there's a lot of travel involved? Maybe you guys are from different cultures or cities, etc.

You might be the more composed and rational one during this date and be lowkey analysing everything. Virgo vibes. You might end up intimidating your person a bit lol. Your person on the other hand is full of anxiety and nervousness and it might be more visible on their end lol.

[naughtyneganjdm]

Love's Second Chance: A Holiday Reunion - Chapter 12

Summary: A lot weighs heavy on Joel's mind making him unable to sleep. Roaming around the apartment, he talks to Y/N and they open up to one another with Negan overhearing their discussion. What Negan suggests to help both of them feel better surprises them.

Characters: Joel Miller, the reader (OC) & Negan Smith

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/60501985/chapters/156209020

Warnings: 18+, swearing, angst, smut, this chapter is pure filth, SPOILERS AHEAD DO NOT READ IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO BE SPOILED. MMF Threesome, two men kissing, heavy touching between two men, dirty talking, unprotected ps in v, etc.

Notes: This is a longer chapter. It's filthy. It explores parts of all three of the main characters. Literally. So yeah, enjoy!

Sleeping was once again damn near impossible for Joel. Making it back to the apartment, you would have thought he would have been exhausted. Physically? He was. Mentally? He couldn’t shut his brain the fuck down. All he kept thinking about was his past. The pain and negative thoughts. About his mistakes and all the things he had done wrong.

Earlier he checked in on the children and came downstairs to sit by the large glass panel windows. He didn’t know how long ago he had pulled up a chair and just sat there staring out at the city lights. Everything seemed so small down below. It made him think about his dreams when he was a kid. All he knew was that he was counting on either football or his musical career to lead him. Instead, life fell to shit.

Back when he was younger, this was the kind of life he dreamt of. Feeling special. Having a big home that only people could dream of having and being able to go anywhere he wanted in the world without worrying about money.

“Can’t sleep?” a voice beckoned him to look back over his shoulder. Standing behind him was Y/N who looked like she had just woken up. Her eyes appeared tired while she stood before him in her red plaid pajama pants and a white tank top. Shaking his head, Joel pushed his seat back and turned in it to stare out at her. “You stole my look.”

“Kind of,” Joel sighed looking down at what he was wearing. Instead of having red plaid, his pajamas were plaid green and he also had the white tank top on. “Did I wake you up?”

“Well you were being incredibly loud,” she joked, reaching for a chair to pull it up beside Joel. Keeping it close, she lowered down into the seat and yawned. “I woke up and I just couldn’t fall back asleep. No matter how much I tried.”

“I have that problem lately a lot too,” Joel explained, sitting forward in the chair to get closer to the glass to look down at the people below. By this time of night he could hardly make out anything down there. There was a faint glow from stray lights that illuminated the street, but just barely. “My brain just wants to torture me with all my thoughts.”

“You wanna talk about it?” she offered, her eyes staring out at him which he saw from the corner of his. Instead of looking at her, he lowered his head and exhaled loudly. “I’m always here if you need to talk. You know that.”

“It’s hard to talk to you,” Joel confessed, reaching up to stroke over the back of his neck. Half of his woes, if not more were all in relation to her and he didn’t think it was fair throwing that all on her again. “You know how I feel about you.”

“That’s what this is about?” she spoke softly, not showing any signs of being angry with him over it.

“Some of it,” he was honest, shaking his head about and leaning back in the chair to keep his eyes on the city. “For some reason, I keep thinking about everything I did wrong. What led us to…this.”

“This right here?” she threw her finger up to circle it as if suggesting the apartment they were in.

“No,” Joel smirked, shaking his head about. “I mean how the two of us are. With me alone. And you with Negan,” Joel lowered his voice not wanting to wake anyone else up to hear what they were talking about. “I had to work really hard to push you away like I did.”

“Joel…” she said his name, dragging it out. Stopping to think about what she wanted to say, she shifted in the seat and licked her lips. “I uh…I wish I knew what I could say to make you feel better. The last thing I want is you feeling miserable.”

“It’s not your responsibility to make me feel better,” Joel retorted with a weak smile, his dark eyes finally looking over at her. In the small amount of light, they could see each other but not much more than that. “It never was.”

A shuddering breath escaped her lips with Joel’s eyes tearing over and he shrugged, “I never realized everything you did to make sure that I was okay. Constantly. You were always there doing your best to make me happy. But that was never your job Y/N. You were supposed to be my partner in life. You weren’t supposed to lift me up. My emotions aren’t your responsibility. They never were.”

Hearing that from Joel left her speechless. That was never something Joel had ever said to her, so she didn’t know how to respond. Folding his arms in front of his chest, Joel stretched his legs out further and went back to looking at the city.

“Do you know how many times I dreamt of a life like this?” Joel spoke almost regrettably when he thought back on his past. “I wanted to be rich so bad. To have power. Have people look at me like I was something special. I would have killed for this kind of life.”

“I think everyone dreams of a life like this,” she mused, rubbing her hands in over her knees. “I know I thought about it too. I thought I was going to be a big name. Someone everyone knew the name of. I was going to travel and show what the world was really like. The good, the bad. I wanted to live in the city…”

A smile tugged at her tired features and she stood up from the chair to look out at the city, “I never dreamt of a place this big. But a flat in the city? God, that would have been amazing. Maybe having my studio workshop area inside of my apartment? That was it for me.”

“I really thought I was going to be something, y’know?” Joel snorted, shaking his head. Back when he was in high school he really did believe that he was going to make it big. It wasn’t even a question in his mind. He was that fucking sure of himself. “I was so arrogant. I thought I was better than most people. I was stubborn and I knew that if anyone could achieve something, it was me. I was gonna ride the football career as much as I could, use my connections to get me into the music business.”

“You were good enough,” she corrected Joel who rolled his eyes. Hearing him talk down about his talents was nothing something she was going to allow him to do. “You were.”

“I wasn’t,” Joel chuckled, his head shaking in disbelief. “Football maybe could have gotten me all the way through college. But I don’t think I could have made it to the big leagues. My arm was good, but it wasn’t that good.”

“Well now that’s just bullshit,” she claimed, reaching up to smack at Joel’s chest with the back of her hand. “I know for a fact that your arm was amazing. Think about all the scouts that came out just for you. They all wanted you. I think a lot of them told you that you probably didn’t even have to stay in school that long because you were that good.”

“You’d say anything to make me feel better,” Joel suggested with a long exhale. That was just the kind of person that she was.

“Why would I need to lie about things Joel?” she inquired, a sense of curiosity flooding her body. Sure, she could lie, but right now she was just going off of facts. When they were young, everyone thought Joel was going to be a big name. “What do I gain from lying to you right now?”

“You get to be on my good side?” Joel joked, a wicked smirk tugging at his features. Looking over at her, his right eyebrow arched and it made her smile. “Lord knows you don’t want to get on my bad side.”

“I’ve been there and I’m still here,” she reminded him, grabbing a firm hold of his shoulder to give it a squeeze.

“You shouldn’t have had to see that side of me,” Joel frowned, reaching up to place his hand in over hers. Squeezing it firmly, Joel took his time to think about everything he put her through. “I never wanted you to see the darkest parts of me. You were the light in my life that brought me joy. The fact that I ever let it get that bad…”

“It’s the past,” she interrupted him, not wanting to have him get upset, but it was really too late for that.

“But it effected the future,” Joel admitted, urging her to lower her hand. Pushing forward in the seat, Joel rest his elbows over his knees and shook his head. “I didn’t mean to have all this anger grow inside of me. I knew I was capable of being awful. It was there my whole life. And when my parents died…I did what I thought was right. I put Tommy first. And then when you got pregnant, I put you and Elizabeth first too. I did the right thing. There shouldn’t have been any anger inside of me for doing what was right.”

“I think it’s alright to be disappointed,” she tried to give him an excuse and Joel scoffed, standing up from the chair and moving in beside her to stand in front of the window. “I think anyone in your position would have felt the same.”

“No they wouldn’t,” Joel denied, his hands settling at his hips while he rocked back and forth on his feet. “I could have been facing this all alone. But I wasn’t. I had you. You never left my side. Not once. I had a family that loved me. I was lucky. Some people have this kind of shit happen and they have to take on the world alone. Without help. But not me. I had a support system. I had someone who loved me. Someone who saw the best in me even when I didn’t see the best in myself…”

It looked like she wanted to say something, but instead she just lowered her head making Joel’s chest hurt at the sight of it, “I’m sorry. You were always my strength and I let you down. I let everyone down.”

“No you didn’t,” she refused to hear that, turning to face Joel from where she was standing. “I think your parents would be very proud of the man that you became.”

“I was even mad at them for dying Y/N,” Joel informed her with a disgusted shake of his head. “I was so angry at them for dying and forcing me to live the life that I did. I mean, you’d think I’d be mad at them for all the shit before in being parents that were never very present in my life in the first place. But no. I was mad at them for leaving me to take care of everything without them.”

“It was a traumatic thing for an eighteen year old boy to go through,” she defended his actions once more and it had Joel shaking his head. “You had the world in your hands and it was taken from you.”

“No it wasn’t,” Joel corrected her, a broken breath falling from his lips when he looked to her. “I had the world in my hands with you, Ellie and Peter. I just never saw it because I thought the world was this big shiny idea of something more.”

Really he should have just shut up and kept his thoughts to himself. He knew that this kind of talk upset her. Especially since she loved him so much in the past and he did what he had.

“I’m sorry that I let you down,” Joel apologized, a lump growing in his throat. “I wish that right now I could say that I was proud of my life, the things that I’ve done, but I’m not. The only thing I have that I was ever proud of was you and those children. Other than that? I’m a nothing.”

“You shouldn’t be thinking like that,” she stressed doing her best to keep her emotions to herself. “You don’t have to keep apologizing to me.”

“Yes, I do,” Joel groaned, his head dropping down with the tension he was feeling. “It’s annoying because all these voices I hear in my head tell me what a mistake I made. I know nothing will fix what I’ve done. More than anything, I’m angry at myself for my actions. I wish I could say that I made your life better, but I’m an overall disappointment.”

“You’re not,” she assured him, lifting her hand to try to get him to hush his thoughts. “You can’t feed your mind with that shit.”

God, he wanted to say so much to her to fix things, but he knew that no matter what he said they never would be right. There was nothing he could do in order to make up for the decisions he made. Because he let all of the good fall to shit. That was his own fault.

“You deserved this kind of life Joel,” she expressed how she felt, throwing her hand out toward the city. “Both you and Negan were so dedicated to your skills. I wanted the best for both of you. I always did. You both were the two people who deserved this kind of future more than anyone.”

“We both deserved this kind of life,” Joel proposed brushing his fingers through his messy hair. “And we could have done it if I wasn’t such a fucking dick. Instead I was lazy, angry and so depressed about the life I couldn’t have. Maybe if I would have actually tried instead of being bitter about everything, I could have achieved things. Instead we’re here and I made you miserable for years by being…a dick.”

“You two talk like you’re at the end of your life,” a voice spoke up causing both of them to jump. Looking back, Joel reached out for the light that was beside him to turn it on. Behind them was Negan sitting on the couch with his arms stretched out on the back of it bringing attention to his naked chest. Standing up, Negan adjusted the waistband of his gray sweatpants and shrugged his shoulders. “Why do you think your dreams are impossible? You’re not dead.”

“It’s more complicated than that Negan,” Joel grunted wondering how long Negan had been sitting there. How the hell did they not hear him come into the room with the two of them talking? It offended him that Negan had just sat there listening to them to begin with.

“How?” Negan lowered down onto the arm of the couch and waved his hand about in the air. “You’re only nearing forty Joel. You haven’t even reach the middle of your life,” Negan stressed his words, his eyes looking between both Y/N and Joel. There was a seriousness behind the intensity of his hazel eyes. “There is still so much time to do so much more, but it’s like you’ve both given up at the idea of it.”

“No one wants an almost forty year old man to play football for them Negan. That’s an end of a career, not the start of one. Plus, I haven’t thrown a football in years,” Joel declared with a scoff having Negan smile and shake his head dramatically. Brushing his fingers through his messy hair, Negan exhaled loudly and tossed his hands up.

“Yeah, football is out of the question. That’s not what I mean,” Negan agreed with Joel, tapping on his thighs to consider what he wanted to say next. “But that doesn’t mean you have to give up your musical career. Start playing again. Play the guitar. Get out to a local bar. Sing. Get your music out there. Even if you start small, it’s you getting to live the life that you wanted. You can be ninety and still play music Joel. You’ve got your hands. You’ve got your voice. You have the musical talent. Life is what you fucking make of it. You’re not dead.”

“I don’t know if you noticed, but I have a hard time playing in front of people,” Joel reminded Negan of how he was which had Negan roll his eyes. “Not all of us are outgoing, charismatic folks that people are just drawn to.”

“I’m very introverted,” Negan corrected Joel with a shake of his head. “I just fake it. All the time. Do you think I always feel like smiling? I put on a show because it’s better than letting my thoughts, my emotions…my stress get to me. I’m a showman through and through, but that doesn’t mean I don’t feel strange when the world is fucking eyeballing me.”

Both Joel and Y/N went silent at Negan’s confession. That was never really something that either one of them considered.

“Listening to the both of you is hard. You can play music until the day you die Joel Miller. And Y/N, you can take photos and write just the same. You both think that I’ve made this perfect life for myself,” Negan began, his hand placing in over the center of his naked chest. “I’m nearing forty and my career is over. I put everything into my body. My body is the only thing that I can use in my life. And I’m broken. My knee is a fucking mess. After this next season? I don’t know what direction my life is fucking going in and that scares me. That scares me so much. But both of you? You don’t see the potential that you have. Your dreams? They are all achievable. Talking like there are no other options in life is sad because I’ve never seen two people with so much fucking potential in their life and it’s like you both gave up.”

“Fuck,” Joel grumbled under his breath, his chest aching at the lecture that they both just received from Negan.

“Negan,” Y/N frowned noticing that Negan appeared to be somewhat emotional himself, but he was hiding it behind a strong façade.

“Hey, let’s not make this about me. I just wanted to make a point,” Negan slurred realizing that both of them had a hard time looking at him after what he reminded them. “Joel, I haven’t heard you play your music in a very long time, but after tonight? I know you still have music in your heart. It made you happy. I’m sure you still play great.”

“He’s right. There is nothing to be ashamed of in terms of your music. You’re good,” Y/N added to the conversation with Negan throwing his hand out toward her. “I know what you sound like and I think people would love to learn music from you and hear what you have inside of you.”

“What happened to Joel Miller, the arrogant son of a bitch that I knew when I was younger?” Negan snorted, folding his arms out in front of his chest. “That guy loved having the attention on him. Fuck, he ate it up. He knew he was talented and he didn’t have to question it.”

“Life,” Joel simply answered with a grunt which had Negan rolling his eyes. “I hate the world Negan.”

“You hate yourself,” Negan offered up, his eyes slowly rising up from the ground where he was looking. “I know the feeling all too well. So don’t try to bullshit me. If you love your music, if it means something to you, don’t let it go. Even if you start fucking small, the world isn’t over. You don’t know if you have tomorrow, so start now. Go out. Play your music. Give it a shot. Even if you only make it to small dive bars. Who cares? At least you sort of lived your dream. It’s better than nothing. And now it’s even better because you have a built in support system behind you to lift you up.”

“It’s not that easy,” Joel grunted, resting his hands on his hips in frustration.

“But it fucking is,” Negan shot back, the lines in his forehead growing. “And Y/N, you love taking photos. There isn’t a reason you shouldn’t have that camera in your hands twenty four fucking seven. Take photos. And write. Write about whatever the fuck you want because someone out there is going to want to listen. I promise you. You’re both still so young with so much fucking potential. You just don’t give yourselves a fucking break. And maybe it’s time that you do.”

Smirking, Y/N lowered her head finding what Negan was saying to be inspirational in a sense, but she knew that Joel was upset, “What are you? An inspirational speaker now?”

“Maybe,” Negan’s eyes locked back onto Joel, standing up and moving across the room to step before him. “If people listened to me, well maybe there is a chance that they just might be happy. And that’s a scary fucking thought. Isn’t it?”

“Life came easy to you Negan,” Joel fought back, his eyes narrowing at the idea that Negan thought things in life were that simple.

“It did?” Negan muttered, his jaw flexing in disbelief. “I must have missed that bit because life has been really fucking hard for the most part. I had an abusive father growing up that pretended to be a good dad. I…” Negan paused, his Adam’s apple bouncing in his throat and his words coming to a slow pause. Suddenly the emphasis he had on things died down when he looked between Joel and Y/N again. “I lost touch with my best friends. I got injured doing what I do best. I lost the love of my life and my career is ending because I’m hurt and I could become crippled if I get hurt again. I’m pushing it just going one more season. So does that really sound easy to you?”

Joel’s lips parted, a huff coming out instead of words with Joel lowering his head to look down at the ground in embarrassment with what Negan just threw out in front of Joel, “Where my life succeeded, yours did not. Vice versa. Which is why I say if you want something in life, you gotta go for it. We don’t know when our life is gonna fucking end. So take advantage of it before it’s too late. And work out whatever the hell is going on between the two of you.”

“There’s nothing…” Y/N went to speak up with Negan holding his finger up to silence them. Turning off the light, Negan reached for both of their wrists to tug them over toward the bedroom that he shared with Y/N. Closing the door, Negan turned on the lamp and headed over toward the seat at the corner of the room to drop down. “There is nothing going on between the two of us Negan.”

“She’s with you,” Joel stressed watching Negan reach out to snatch the Santa hat that was on the nightstand. Putting it on, Negan stretched out his long legs and shrugged.

“I know,” Negan nodded, stroking his fingers over the side of his face. “I am not worried about that.”

“Of course you aren’t,” Joel scoffed, shaking his head and heading over toward the dresser to rest his weight back against it. “Why would you be worried?”

“You’re cranky as fuck,” Negan chuckled, his dimples becoming more prominent when an amused smile tugged at his handsome features. “If it’s gonna make the two of you happy, kiss and make up. I don’t give a fuck.”

“We’re together,” Y/N turned on her heel, pointing from her chest to Negan. “I told Joel that. He knows that I want to be with you.”

“I know you do too,” Negan assured her with a nod, caressing down over the side of his neck. “I however told you that I understand that you love Joel. I fucking get it. I loved and still love Lucille. That shit is never gonna change. We can’t help that in life sometimes we love multiple people. And just because we lost them doesn’t mean we don’t care about them. I won’t get mad at you for having feelings for Joel and if the two of you are gonna kiss, I’d really prefer to be around for it.”

“Now you’re just being a prick,” Joel hissed at Negan, his brow line growing more tense and his glare becoming angry. “It’s not funny.”

“Do I look…” Negan paused realizing that he was smiling, “Yes. I’m smiling, but I’m not trying to be funny here. I know that you heard the conversation earlier about her dream and if she wants to, I’m okay with the three of us…you know.”

“Oh fuck. Not again,” Y/N lifted her hand to cover her eyes trying to shake off the feeling she was having. “I’m dreaming again. That makes complete sense here.”

“Nope. Not dreaming,” Negan stood up from the chair he was seated in. Standing between Y/N and Joel, Negan outstretched his hands grabbing both their wrists to pull them closer toward him. “I just think it’s okay for you two to enjoy each other still even if you’re not together. Your brain wanted this. So who am I to turn away this for you?”

“I think maybe you are reading the situation wrong,” she was unsure of where this was headed with Negan’s nose wrinkling in amusement. “I told you about the dream because I don’t want to keep things from you.”

“And I don’t want to keep things from you either,” Negan promised bringing Joel in closer to her. How firmly Negan was holding onto Joel’s wrist had Joel scoffing. “I’m okay with a threesome. If it makes you happy, why not?”

“Aren’t you going to ask if I’m okay with a threesome?” Joel spoke up in a bit of a disapproving tone making Negan chuckle when he looked between the two of them. “Why is that funny?”

“Nothing, you’re just right. You’re the curve ball here. I understand that she has feelings for you. It doesn’t bother me because I know she cares about me too. Deep in her mind, she wants both of us but feels guilty for wanting that,” Negan explained, letting go of her wrist to palm in over the side of her face to get her to look at him. “You have been with Joel and you’ve been with me. You’ve never had a threesome. What’s better than being pampered by two men that are head over heels in love with you?”

Stammering to find words, Y/N didn’t know what to say. Maybe she should have been mad, but instead she found herself laughing when the top of the Santa hat fell over Negan’s eyes. Blowing it out of his face, Negan gave a big cheesy smile and then dragged his tongue out over his bottom lip.

“As long as Joel promises not to fucking kill me when it’s my turn, I think we’re good,” Negan asserted lowering his hand to gently urge Y/N forward toward Joel. “I don’t have a problem with all of this. Joel is the only person I would be okay with.”

“I don’t get your fucking issue Ne…” Joel’s words came to a halt with the pressure of Negan leading Joel down to Y/N to force the two of them to kiss. A gasp vibrated against his lips and Joel pulled back seeing Negan smirking. Shaking his head, Negan’s thumb swept in over her jaw with his fingers curling around her neck to turn her to him. Claiming her lips in a passionate kiss, Negan started to kiss her over and over again. Watching her eyes close with a slow flutter, Joel felt a bout of jealousy flooding his veins. Starting to kiss at her jawline, Joel pressed his body in closer to hers, his hands settling at her hips.

“Holy shit,” Y/N pulled away from the both of them feeling her pulse hammering in her head. “This is just like my dream. The children are upstairs for fuck’s sake.”

“Then we’ll be quiet,” Negan headed over toward the door to lock it for her. “It’s a big apartment. They are all the way across the apartment on the second floor. We’ll hear someone if they come down here.”

“They both had the television on,” Joel explained to Y/N who was surprised to hear Joel defending this. “They aren’t going to hear anything.”

“Thatta boy,” Negan pat Joel on the shoulders and then headed over toward the bed to drop down on the bottom of it. Pulling himself to the edge, Negan braced his weight on his hands and motioned for the two of them to move toward one another. “I like watching. So go ahead.”

“I don’t want to lose you,” Y/N whispered which had an ache growing at the center of Joel’s chest. That was something she was genuinely worried about and she meant it.

“You’re not going to,” Negan promised her, holding out his hand to have her squeeze at it. “I’m here. No matter what happens. I’m not leaving your life. You have me back in your life and that’s not going to change.”

“Are you going to look at me differently?” Y/N turned her head to look at Joel who thought about this whole thing. Being with her in any fashion was good enough for him. It meant that she still cared about him. Still wanted him in her life.

“I could never,” Joel grumbled under his breath knowing that he was going to have to fight his demons here. Especially when she was with Negan. There was a jealousy there, but in this moment he was going to have to figure it out. Get his shit together. There was a lot to consider in the moment. But his first thought was this whole threesome thing. The windows were wide open with no blinds or curtains to hide them. “Do you really want the lights on for this?”

“Fuck yes,” Negan stated with a proud breath. “I want to see everything.”

“You’re in New York City. People know you’re here now. They have to. Photographers with their cameras,” Joel started to ramble having Negan bob his head about. Huffing out, Negan got up from the bed and headed over to the large window side of the room. Pushing his hands into his pants, Negan got the material down to the bottom of his hips along with his boxer briefs. All Joel saw was Negan’s ass, but it was enough for Negan to make a point. Throwing his hands up in the air, Negan wiggled his hips a bit and it had Joel groaning outwardly. “You are still so very much Negan.”

“Yes, I fucking am,” Negan boasted proudly, pulling his pants back up over his hips and turning to face the two of them. Y/N’s face was flushed over with her shaking her head and Joel was staring out at him blankly. “I’m a baseball player. And we are pretty fucking high up. If someone has a lens that fucking good, then good for them. But in the city, there are bigger, better celebrities to go after. No one is going to be taking photos of us at two in the morning having sex. I fucking promise you.”

“How is your dick not all over the internet?” Joel scoffed, pointing down toward Negan’s groin.

“Well, I was married,” Negan reminded Joel, tossing his hand up in the air with a huff. “Pretty sure that Lucille didn’t want a video of us screwing all over the internet. And like I told you, I’m just a fucking baseball player. You want to see their cocks, you walk into the locker room after or before a game. It’s not that hard. You know that. You were on a sports team in high school. You saw a lotta cock.”

“Good God, we are so different,” Joel pointed out to Y/N who now seemed to have amusement with the things that Negan was saying. “How you love the both of us…”

“Is crazy because she’s too good for the both of us, but she does,” Negan interrupted Joel, stepping closer to the both of them. “So why don’t we take advantage of it, enjoy tonight and let this happen? I want this. You both want this. And that’s okay.”

Stepping in behind Y/N, Negan settled his hands at her hips. Nuzzling his nose in against the side of her neck had her tipping her head back against his shoulder. Just the sensation of that alone had her pulse jumping in her throat. Peppering wet kisses over her flesh, Negan bit faintly eliciting a moan from her lips.

Lifting his left hand, Negan reached for Joel tugging him forward by the material of his tank top. Stepping in closer, Joel trapped Y/N between both him and Negan having her breath catch in her throat. The heat from their bodies radiated against hers. It felt good. It had her body trembling. She felt small between the two of them.

Sweeping his fingers in over the side of her face, Joel’s eyelids grew heavy. An innocence lingered in her eyes and features. Reminding Joel of when they were younger and they were together for the first time. Lowering down, Joel brought their lips together in a slow, gentle kiss. This was a lot to get used to all at once. With each caress of his lips, the kiss grew stronger with her breathing getting louder.

“That’s it,” Negan slurred against her flesh, grasping her chin firmly between his fingers to get her to turn her head so it brought their lips together. Even though he was okay with sharing, Negan wanted to make it clear that’s what they were going to be doing. Joel could get some of the attention, but not all of it. Focusing on her bottom lip with wet kisses, Negan used his other palm to caress up in over her abdomen toward her breast. A tremoring exhale had him sucking in a sharp breath of air getting excited at how innocent she seemed in all of this. “If you ever get uncomfortable, just tell us and we will stop.”

Nodding gave both Joel and Negan the permission they needed to continue. Even if things felt fast, she knew that she would never ask them to stop. This was something her mind had been thinking about even in her dreams. An occasion where she could be between the two men that she loved without judgement? It felt too good to turn away.

Dropping her left hand back, she palmed in over the side of Negan’s body while her right traced up over the lengths of Joel’s abdomen toward his chest. Sucking in a sharp breath of air, Joel couldn’t help but notice the desire in Negan’s eyes for the woman that was between them. Reaching his hands around Y/N, Joel squeezed firmly over her bottom. It had her pressing up onto her toes, gasping and falling in closer against his chest. It gave Negan the opportunity to move in behind her, pressing his groin in over her bottom. It had her eyes closing tightly, her lips falling agape. It felt like liquid lava was running through her veins with the room spinning around. Hovering his lips in over hers, Joel loved the way her breathing grew louder with her shaking against him. Pressing faint kisses at her lips, Joel allowed his mouth to trail down over her jawline toward her neck. When he reached her shoulder, Joel lifted his head and locked eyes with Negan.

“You know what?” Negan took one step back, his chest rising and falling heavily. It had Y/N looking back over her shoulder at him, worried what was happening. “Go on. I really would like to watch.”

Trying to avoid the instructions that were being spat at him, Joel curled his arm around Y/N’s waist to pull her flush against him. It had her right arm hooking around his shoulders while her fingers from her left hand sank into his thick, dark hair. Just the way she was looking at him with her pupils dilated drove Joel crazy with want for the woman in his arms.

“Touch her Joel,” Negan spoke moving to grab Joel’s wrist helping him to caress up and over the length of her back before down again. Just from that alone it had her eyes closing tightly once more. “Let’s make this thing as sensual as possible. Not just fucking. We could fuck any time. But this? It means something.”

Bringing their lips together in a slow, unhurried kiss had her clinging tighter to Joel. Stroking his fingers down over the lengths of her back again and then allowing them to drag back up over her shoulders had her whimpering against his mouth. Each kiss he pressed over her lips grew stronger, the passion lighting a fiery want inside the both of them. Beside them, Negan stepped forward his hand pressing in against both of the small of their backs bringing their bodies closer together. Growling against Y/N’s flesh triggered her to pull away just slightly to give a tiny smile. Instead of bitching, Joel listened to Negan. Touching her in the ways that he was instructing him. Wanting this whole thing to indeed be special for Y/N. Stealing kiss after kiss from her had her lips parting to Joel. Brushing his tongue out against hers led her to tip up on her toes, eager to be closer to him. Even though they had been together many times, Joel still loved the way that her body reacted to his.

Stepping in behind Y/N again, Negan’s fingers hooked loosely into the bottom of her tank top having her lean back into him. Tugging up the material, Negan stopped at her lower abdomen, using one of his hands to caress his rough fingertips across it. Nuzzling his nose against the side of her neck, Negan nipped faintly at her skin getting tiny whines to fall from her, “You are so fucking beautiful.”

Y/N’s eyes fluttered to a close. Her breaths becoming more desperate which encouraged Joel to help Negan lift the material up under her breasts. Carefully lowering to his knees, Joel’s mouth covered her lower abdomen. Starting at the area just above her belly button. A sharp exhale escaped her throat when Joel tenderly nipped at her flesh. Trailing his kisses down further led to him pampering her skin at the area right below her navel. Grasping tightly to her hips kept her in place. With Negan’s arm hooked around her mid abdomen and Joel grasping to her hips, she wasn’t going anywhere. They had her where they wanted her. Shivers flooded her body, muted moans following with the way Joel was cherishing her abdomen with the warmth of his kisses and with Negan kissing at the side of her neck. Pushing his hand up enough under her tank top, Negan’s fingers cupped at the swell of her breast.

“Here we go,” Negan stammered, urging her arms up so he could pull the material of her tank top from her body to reveal her breasts with a bounce. Joel’s dark eyes watched the movements, the length of his tongue dragging a line up her body. Tossing the material aside, Negan’s arm wrapped around her upper half pulling her back to him. Dragging his hand across both her breasts, Negan buried his nose against the side of her neck again and growled. “You feel good, right?”

Squeezing her breast in his palm, Negan tested the flesh before circling the pad of his thumb in over her nipple. Repeated circular movements had it turning into a tight bud and it made him release an amused rumble as he pinched softly at it.

“So good,” she purred with Negan now kissing at her jawline. Continuing to caress at her breasts elicited her breathing to become broken.

Humming, Negan started to kiss at the side of her neck and back behind her ear. Joel’s kisses started to rise up over the lengths of her abdomen, his facial hair scratching slightly at her body. Wet caresses of Joel’s mouth pressed between the valley of her breasts. It was hard to focus on one thing from either Joel or Negan. Between them, Y/N felt like the world was spinning around her. Matching Joel’s movements, when Joel came up, Negan’s palm pressed down over her abdomen. Sinking his hand beneath the material of her pajama pants had her hips arching up toward Negan’s touch. Crying out, her breathing became labored with the flick of Joel’s tongue at her nipple in tiny, circular motions. Taking the nipple into his mouth, Joel’s suckled faintly at the flesh before teasing it again with his tongue. Instinctively her body arched forward, her hips wanting to meet the touch of Negan’s hand between her thighs and her upper half wanting to continue to be pampered by Joel.

“Let’s get you down on the bed darlin’,” Negan stammered pulling his hand from her pants having her shuddering back against him. A wet sound escaped Joel’s lips with him tipping his head back, pulling his mouth from her breast. The warmth of his breath still lingered over her skin and she knew that she was already a hot mess from this alone.

Helping to lead her over toward the bed, Negan grabbed a hold of her hand squeezing his fingers around hers. Getting her to the bottom of the bed had the backs of her knees hitting the mattress getting her to lower down with Negan standing before her. Helping to lower her body back against the bed, Negan hooked his arms firmly underneath her knees. Pulling her right to the edge of the bed had her gasping, her eyes locking with his. There was something in the way that he was looking at her that caused her heart to pound inside of her chest. Hooking his fingers into the waistband of her panties and pajama pants, Negan unhurriedly pulled them down her legs. Lifting her hips to help him made Negan smirk, his dimples becoming more prominent when he dropped the material aside. His eyes were drinking her in, while he stood at the bottom of the bed looking over her naked form. Stepping away from the bed, Negan adjusted his gray sweat pants causing her eyes to lower to gaze upon the incredible v line over Negan’s hips. His pants were hanging low, his breathing heavy emphasizing the lines of his body. Just the sight of that alone had her mouth watering.

“Waiting on you Joel,” Negan wiggled his finger, motioning Joel to follow him toward the bed. Laying down beside her on the right, Negan made sure that she was comfortable when his fingertips swept in over the area right below her belly button. Hovering his mouth over hers, Negan snickered when her fingers slid in over the back of his neck and sank into his messy hair. “You are in for a hell of a night.”

Putting one knee on the bed, Joel caught Negan’s attention when Negan stole a kiss from Y/N’s lips. Negan’s hazel eyes watched Joel’s movements as Joel lowered himself down at the left side of Y/N’s body. Drawing circles with his rough fingertips over Y/N’s body, Negan nibbled at her bottom lip. Sucking faintly at the flesh had her whimpering into his mouth.

Bracing himself, Negan leaned in over her body starting to trail kisses from her shoulder toward the center of her chest. Joining Negan, Joel’s palm settled at the inside of her thigh dragging up toward her warmth. Her senses were set ablaze between the both of them. Joel’s brown eyes were hooked on hers drinking her in as she laid between the two of them. Tipping her head back, a quiet moan escaped her parted lips with Negan’s mouth covering her breast. Twisting his tongue around the nipple resulted in her lifting her upper back toward him. Suckling and nipping at the flesh prompted her breath to go broken now with Joel’s hand caressing in over her core.

“Look at me,” Joel ordered in a quiet slur, his eyelids growing heavy with longing. “Do you like being spoiled like this?”

“Yes,” she panted, licking her lips when Joel’s lips claimed hers, kissing her with a hunger that took her breath away. The wet popping sound of Negan’s mouth leaving her breast had her whining, but it was short lasted when he kissed across her chest to the other one to cover her breast with continued heated kisses.

Right now? All Joel could focus on was pleasing her because if he thought deeply about this, there was a chance that he wouldn’t be able to do this.

Circling her clit with his rough fingertips, Joel was slow wanting to build up the pleasure. By the way that she was kissing him, Joel knew that Y/N was doing her best to stay quiet. The sounds she was making and the way she was clinging to him fueled Joel more than he ever expected it to. Putting a stronger pressure over her sensitive bundle of nerves had her hips arching up toward Joel’s caress wanting to meet his touch.

“Good girl,” Negan slurred, his mouth sliding up over the side of her neck to kiss at her jawline. Biting faintly at her chin, Negan got her to turn toward him to bring their lips together in a passionate sweep. Brushing his tongue against hers, Negan felt the bed dipping with Joel adjusting his positioning.

An involuntary whine followed with the loss of contact from Joel’s fingers. Getting on his knees at the bottom of the bed, Joel pushed apart her legs settling himself between her thighs. Squeezing at the fleshy part of her thighs had her tremoring at his touch. As his breath lingered over her sensitive folds, it had her arching up toward him drawing out a hum of approval from Joel’s throat.

“You have always had the prettiest pussy,” Joel whispered, allowing his fingertips to draw a line over the length of her sex. Negan’s large palm was caressing at the swell of her breast, his kisses covering the side of her neck. Lifting her head, she was trying to focus, but her eyelids were growing heavy with the overflow of sensations both of them were causing inside of her. Right now she was a trembling mess beneath the both of them. Licking his lips, Joel’s kisses started at her inner thigh while his finger traced a line down over her sex and back up. Circling her clit and then lowering down again. Purring out, her fingers sank into Negan’s hair at the back of his neck with is mouth taking her breast into it again. Leaving tiny bites at her skin, Joel wet his lips and tipped his head back. Shuffling his body, Joel bent forward dragging the length of his tongue across her entrance.

“Joel,” she cried out, her hips bouncing upward toward the warmth of his mouth. Grasping her face between his thumb and index finger, Negan forced her eyes to meet his and it made him smile. Every muscle in her body was tensing up with the slurping sounds of Joel suckling at her folds. Squirming beneath them, she knew that her natural instinct was to focus on Joel, but Negan wanted to see her reaction to what was happening. Dragging his thumb across her bottom lip elicited a wolfish smile over Negan’s lips.

“You are so fucking beautiful,” Negan growled, lowering down enough to hungrily kiss her. His tongue caressing at hers again and again, showing his dominance in the way that he kissed her.

Gazing up, Joel swallowed down hard at the sight of them kissing. There was so much passion and chemistry between the two of them with the way that they kissed. It had jealousy eating away at him with how visible close they clearly were. Pulling away slowly, Negan suckled faintly at her bottom lip, his eyes slowly lowering to hook with Joel’s.

“Get to it pretty boy,” Negan outstretched his hand, curling his finger underneath Joel’s chin. Getting Joel to tip his head back had Joel sucking in a sharp breath of air. “Y’know what? Nah. Let’s build up the longing. You gave her a taste. Make her beg for it. I think there needs to be a build up. Don’t you?”

Muttering something under his breath, Negan pushed himself up on the bed and got off it moving over toward the chair to sit down in it. Staring out at the two of them, Negan took notice of the way Y/N was breathing and she looked desperate to have him back.

“Why don’t the two of you kiss for a while?” Negan suggested, adjusting the Santa hat that he was wearing, palming across the length of his chest. “Then show her what you can do with that mouth Mr. Miller.”

“Negan,” she spoke his name, wiggling her fingers out in hopes to bring him back but before she could Joel was crawling in over her covering her with his weight. It surprised her with him lowering between her thighs listening to Negan’s suggestion. Joel’s arm curled around her waist pulling her in closer to him and it had her gasping out. Stroking her fingers down over the side of his face, she saw that his eyelids were heavy and his pupils were dilated. “You’re okay with this?”

“Yeah,” Joel whispered teasing his lips over hers just barely. It had her eyes fluttering to a close and it made Joel smile. Bringing their lips together, Joel never truly thought they would be able to be close like this again when she turned him down after he admitted his love to her at the school. Negan was right, they were both uncomfortable and needed to loosen up before they could truly be relaxed enough to do something like this. “You want this?”

“I think so,” she nibbled at Joel’s bottom lip, sinking her fingers into Joel’s messy hair getting him to look at her. Was there absolute certainty in her mind that she wanted this? Not exactly, but her mind had dreamt about it so it must have been something that she wanted. “I love both of you.”

With a nod, Joel stole another kiss from her with his fingers sliding down over the side of her neck to caress at her flesh. Trailing her kisses off over his jaw, Joel lifted his head allowing her room to kiss down over his neck. No one knew his body quite like she did. Every kiss was meticulous causing a chill to flood throughout his veins. In the distance, Joel caught the expression that was over Negan’s face while he watched the two of them. There was a lump growing in his throat at the idea of being watched. Why did he like it?

Taking his attention from Negan, Y/N pulled Joel back into a kiss that was nervous. It was delicate, slow. Allowing her to control the kiss at first, Joel knew that it was his job to make her realize that he was okay with this. That she could be comfortable with him here. Deepening the kiss, the caress of Joel’s lips grew more fervent. Hungrier. His hands caressed down over the sides of her body with him trapping her beneath his weight.

“I love you,” Joel whispered against her lips, hovering them just over hers. A shuddering exhale escaped her lips leaving Joel’s head buzzing with the feelings that he was experiencing. “So much.”

Movement was heard and Joel felt the warmth of a hand pressing in over his shoulder, “On your knees.”

Shakily doing as he was told, Joel was careful in the way he got up to his knees over Y/N. Even though he was tense, having Y/N’s eyes on him like she did took his breath away. There was something hypnotic about the way she was breathing while she was beneath him fully naked. The warmth of Negan’s body pressed in behind him. Biting down on his bottom lip, Joel felt Negan tugging at the bottom of Joel’s tank top.

“You’re the one wearing the most,” Negan pointed out, the warmth of his breath lingering over the side of Joel’s neck.

Cussing out, a breath caught in Joel’s throat when the bed dipped. Y/N was pressing up on her hands with Negan unhurriedly pulling the material up his abdomen. Sloppy kisses were being pressed over the flesh that was slowly being revealed to her. Palming in over the back of her head, Joel’s eyes came to a tight close. The warmth of Negan’s breath was at the side of his neck. Between the sensation of that and the way that Y/N was kissing at his flesh, it had Joel shuddering between them.

“Good boy,” Negan rasped, his nose nuzzling in against Joel’s jawline having Joel suck in a sharp breath of air. Reaching Joel’s arms, Negan tugged at the material. “Lift your arms.”

Lazily, Joel did what he was told and let Negan get his shirt from him and toss it onto the floor. Grunting, Negan’s fingers grabbed a tight hold of Joel’s jaw causing him to fall back against Negan’s chest. Doting kisses were still being pressed over his abdomen from Y/N who was now leaving small nibbles at his flesh.

“It doesn’t hurt to listen sometimes, does it?” Negan growled, his large palm sliding across the length of Joel’s chest. A chill flooded down Joel’s spine with the sensation of Negan caressing over his body and down over his abdomen. There was a rush flooding his veins when he felt Negan palm across his chest once more, having his heart skip a beat. “The benefits could be good if you give some orders a chance.”

Confusion flooded his veins with Negan moving away from him realizing that what Negan had done left goosebumps over his arms. Focusing elsewhere, Joel brought his eyes back to Y/N who was tugging at the knot in his pajama pants.

“On your knees sweetheart,” Negan gave her the same order, getting behind her on the bed once again trapping her between the two of them. Caressing his hands up over her sides had her resting her head back against Negan’s shoulder. Voraciously kissing over the side of her neck had Y/N reaching her fingers up to tug at Negan’s hair knocking the Santa hat from his head. “I want the both of you to enjoy this.”

Grasping her jaw in his fingers, Joel brought her lips to his just enough to affectionately kiss her. Flattening his palm out between the valley of her breasts, Joel teased her with his rough fingertips. Surrounding her breast with his palm, Joel tested the flesh in his grasp. A muted cry fell from her lips and it had Negan smiling, his eyelids heavy with want.

“Feel good?” Negan confirmed, his hand curling around the front of her body and sliding between her thighs. Palming in over her mound, Negan was gentle in the way he caressed at her flesh. It had her hips bouncing forward toward his touch. There was already a warmth pooling at her body from what the men had worked her up to earlier.

“Yes,” she panted with Negan’s other hand urging her to turn her head to him enough so he could kiss her. With parted lips, she eagerly allowed the warmth of Negan’s tongue to sweep against hers. Returning the gesture, she sucked faintly at Negan’s tongue eliciting a moan from him.

Starting to kiss down over her shoulder, Joel’s lips covered her breast again. Nibbling, suckling and teasing the flesh with sweeps of his tongue. Negan’s fingers connecting with Y/N’s sensitive bundle of nerves had her purring out in pure ecstasy. The sound that came from her throat drew heat right to Joel’s cock and he groaned against her flesh having her bounce forward toward him.

“You like being pampered, don’t you?” Negan mused, the circular motions of his fingers over her clit growing in strength. Nipping at her jaw had her whimpering out. The warmth of Joel’s hands caressing down over her hips followed, sliding lazily around to her bottom to squeeze the flesh in his grasp. Desperately meeting Joel’s mouth in a wet kiss, she moaned into his mouth in attempts to keep herself quiet. Dragging his lips over her jawline, Negan hummed and smiled. “That’s it.”

With a shuddering breath, Y/N pulled her mouth from Joel’s to drop her forehead against Joel’s shoulder. Dropping his hand down, Negan squeezed at the fleshy part of her thigh while his caress continued over her most intimate parts.

“Closer,” Negan mouthed, his hazel eyes locking with Joel’s. Tipping his head to the side, Joel wondered just how much closer they could all get. Rolling his eyes, Negan lifted his hand that wasn’t between her thighs. Hooking his arm around Joel, Negan got him to move closer having Joel’s naked chest pressed up against hers. Kissing over her earlobe, Negan nipped at the flesh and growled. “Touch him.”

Huffing out, Joel felt the firm smack of Negan’s hand over his ass before Negan’s hand returned to her thigh to squeeze at it. Truthfully? Joel didn’t know how to respond to that, but there wasn’t enough time for him to. Nudging her thighs further apart with his knee, Negan had her gasping out. Shakily bracing her hands over Joel’s abdomen, she listened to Negan palming in over Joel’s chest. Tipping down she kissed at the center of it having Joel tip his head back. There was a fire flooding Joel’s veins with his heart hammering in his chest. Lifting his fingers to his lips, Negan took his own fingers into his mouth. That allowed Joel to take advantage, dropping his hand between her thighs to discover that she was soaked.

“You really do want this, don’t you?” Joel’s voice was deeper, his finger circling her entrance before sinking into her with a wet sound. Unhurried thrusts of his thick digit followed having her biting at his flesh. Inserting another finger, Joel took his time thrusting them inside of her. The slight stretch had her tremoring between them. “You’re so fucking wet.”

“Look at you,” Negan’s hand grasped firmly to her jaw, pulling her back against him. Hissing out, she yearned for the touch of Negan’s lips over hers. Claiming her as his while Joel’s mouth was at the side of her neck. Rewarding her with a kiss, Negan sucked tenderly at her tongue pulling away just enough to tease her. “You’re shaking.”

Pressing forward, Negan bucked his hips against her bottom causing her to whine, “You feel that?”

“Yes,” she panted, doing her best to not buckle over in pleasure with what she was feeling. Dropping her hand back behind her, she palmed over the front of Negan’s sweatpants having him moan in her ear. Unhurriedly Negan bucked his hips up against her palm allowing her to stroke over his body through the material to the best of her ability. “Please…”

“What do you want?” Negan snickered, reaching for Joel to pull him forward so he could kiss Y/N to a sweet surrender. Using her other hand, Y/N reached between them to palm over Joel’s groin getting him to grunt against her lips. The vibration of it against her flesh felt incredible. It was hard to keep herself from being loud since she knew the situation that they were in. Deep plunges of Joel’s fingers inside of her had her rocking her hips against the movements wanting to feel more of what he was doing. “See, it’s okay to listen to your dreams sometimes.”

Joel had gone back to kiss her and Negan’s kisses were pressing over her jawline getting closer to her lips. The warmth of Negan’s mouth near his had Joel backing slightly, his Adam’s apple bouncing in his throat when Y/N started to kiss Negan. Boldly leaning forward Joel greedily stole her back for another kiss which had Negan snickering as Negan kissed at the corner of her mouth. Negan’s tongue brushed out against her flesh causing her to whimper. Whether they were meaning to or not, all of their mouths collided in the kiss that they were sharing. Maybe Joel should have pulled back, but it didn’t feel wrong. Their kisses grew in strength, sharing Y/N and their lips colliding on occasion. Their breathing matched, broken and loud.

“Fuck,” Joel groaned. His forehead falling forward against Negan’s when her fingers curled around Joel’s girthy shaft through the material of his thin pajama pants. Instinctively her lips kissed over Joel’s jawline and he felt his heart jumping in his chest with how close he was to Negan in the moment of his vulnerability. Closing his eyes, Joel moaned when Negan dropped his head down, nudging his nose slightly against the other side of Joel’s neck. Wincing, Negan’s lips kissing over the side of Joel’s neck had a rush flooding through Joel’s veins. There was a vast difference between the two. Negan’s short beard scratched at his flesh while they both seemed to have their way with Joel. Quickening the motions of his fingers inside of Y/N had her falling in against his chest and Joel moaned again when he felt the walls of her tight canal clenching around his fingers.

“That’s it,” Negan knew by the sounds she was making that she was about to come. Joining Joel, Negan’s fingers circled her clitoris until she was a shaking mess between the both of them with the two working together to bring her to her first orgasm. “Good girl.”

Licking his lips, Joel didn’t know how to feel about what was happening. When he thought he was having a threesome with Y/N he didn’t think him nor Negan would be getting anywhere near one another but they might as well have kissed several times with how they were both kissing Y/N. Plus, there was that moment Negan kissed his neck. The bad thing is that Joel didn’t hate it, but his brain kept telling him that he should have.

“Get on your hands and knees at the center of the bed sweetheart,” Negan playfully smacked her ass having her whimper. Tremors still filled her body and Negan helped adjust her the way he wanted with her head at the bottom of the bed near Joel. Grabbing the Santa hat that was on the bed, Negan put it back on, adjusting it quickly before moving in behind Y/N. Caressing over her hips, Negan smirked and bobbed his head arrogantly.

“Are you going to wear that stupid hat still?” Joel stammered, caressing over Y/N’s shoulders when she went back to kissing over his lower abdomen.

“Fuck yeah I am,” Negan snickered, his chest rising and falling with his breathing growing heavier. “I’m fucking Santa Claus tonight and I’m delivering presents. So why the fuck not?”

Rolling his eyes, Joel cleared his throat when Negan palmed in over the front of his gray sweatpants drawing attention to the tent in them, “And now, I’m gonna give myself a gift and eat out this beautiful pussy.”

Excitement flooded her body when Negan got comfortable behind her squeezing and caressing at her fleshy bottom. Groaning out, Joel’s head dropped back when she started stroking at his erection through the material of his pajama pants again. Dropping his head, Joel swept his hand in over her face to keep the hair out of her eyes with her fingers hooking into the waistband of Joel’s pants. Taking them down with his boxers had the material pooling at Joel’s ankles.

Groaning out, Joel’s cock bounced in her face with her fingers swiftly curling around his girthy cock. Strokes of her hand over his flesh, teased the skin back and forth over his sensitive tip. Joel’s brow line creased when she pulled the flesh back so she could take him between her wet lips. Rolling his eyes back, Joel hissed out and licked his lips.

The damp heat around his rigid length felt amazing with her dedicated strokes of her tongue over the ridges of the tip, “Fuck…”

With a smirk, Negan pressed forward to start kissing at the back of Y/N’s thighs. Adjusting her legs, Negan pushed at her cheeks so he could get a better look at her tight hole. Dragging his tongue along the length of her sex had her crying out which had Joel’s hands tremoring while he stroked his fingers at her scalp.

Moaning against her flesh had her whimpering again and that’s when Negan started lapping at her body. His tongue prodding and flicking at her entrance, his fingers connecting with her clitoris to tease over her already sensitive clit. Doing her best to stay steady on her hand that was bracing her weight, Y/N continued to give Joel a blowjob finding it hard to focus with the way that Negan was pleasuring her.

Slurping, wet sounds came from both her and Negan while they pleasured the person before them. Wincing out, Joel sank his fingers tighter into her hair with her pulling her mouth away when Negan started plunging his fingers into her. Pumping them into her, Negan licked his wet lips and cussed out.

“You have the prettiest pussy,” Negan complimented her with a hum, dropping forward to flick his tongue against her hole again. His eyes closing tightly to focus on the sounds she was making when he did it. Feasting on her body had her rocking back against his movements with her hand still caressing over Joel’s saliva covered cock. “Fuck…”

“My turn,” Joel suggested stepping away from Y/N. Leaning back on his knees, Negan wiped at his mouth with the back of his hand. Giving a single nod, Negan got up from the bed. Laying down on the bed, Joel urged her to crawl in over his shoulders with her hands balancing herself on the bed. Hooking his arms around her thighs brought her down closer to him so he could suckle at her clit eliciting another cry from her. Hooking his arms in place made sure that she couldn’t move much while he had his way with her.

Varying between using his tongue and his mouth, Joel hungrily pleasured her finding himself fueled with the way that she was trying so hard to be quiet, but she wasn’t doing a very good job with it. Her thighs were tremoring in his grasp, her hips rocking against his movements. Having both Joel and Negan worshiping her body like this was not something she was expecting. It had her on cloud nine, her body hot and shaking.

“You’re so fucking pretty,” Negan grasped her jaw between his thumb and index finger. Tipping her head back, he gave her a big wolfish smile. Leaning down, Negan captured her lips in another kiss that took her breath away with each caress of his lips over hers. Sweeping his thumb across her wet bottom lip when their kiss broke apart had Negan snickering. Dragging his fingers down over the side of her neck, he reached down to pinch at her hard nipple inducing a whine from her. Using his free hand, Negan pushed at the front of his sweatpants and black boxer briefs. Lazily pulling at the material had his cock springing free from the restrictive material when he just got the material right below the base of his cock. Firmly curling his fingers around his lengthy cock, Negan stepped before her with her wetting her lips at the sight of it. “Come here beautiful.”

Allowing Negan to bring her closer to him, she happily accepted him into her mouth with him cautiously thrusting his hips back and forth to sink his body into her throat. Taking his time to make sure that she was comfortable with the motions. Having Joel’s head buried between her thighs and Negan’s cock in her mouth was nothing she ever expected to have, but she liked it. And it fueled her to both pleasure Negan and rock her hips against Joel’s mouth. A raspy moan escaped Negan’s throat, with him caressing over her back. Squeezing at Negan’s hips, she pulled his pants and boxer briefs just under his ass. Cupping his testicles tenderly, she slurped and lapped at his body with her tongue having his hisses growing more frequent.

Cussing out in pleasure, Negan felt her fingers sinking into his hips when Joel got her to moan against his flesh. Twitching, Negan bit at his bottom lip and hummed. Her hands swept around to Negan’s ass to squeeze at his small bottom.

“Joel,” she forced herself away from Negan’s cock, crying out with the way Joel was feasting on her body. Her lips were wet, leaving a line of spit from the tip of Negan’s cock to her mouth. “Christ. You never…”

Closing her eyes shut tightly, her body trembled at what Joel was doing. As of their last few sex sessions, he wasn’t usually this focused on pleasuring her and it had her feeling euphoric from what he was doing, “Ah, well now he has something to prove…”

Joel was relentless with his motions sending waves of pleasure throughout her entire body. Dropping her head against Negan’s lower abdomen had an amused rumble escaping his throat. There was the wet sound of Joel sucking at her throbbing clit before sweeping his tongue around it. His thick fingers were plunging into her body, matching the motions of his tongue. Euphoria was spreading out through her body from her fingers to her toes, her face burying against Negan’s naked hip while he stroked his fingers over the back of her neck.

Dropping his head back on the bed, Joel’s lips were wet with his dark eyes full of lust and want for the woman over him, “Hook your arms around me.”

Listening to Negan, she gasped when he easily pulled her up from Joel and laid her down beside Joel. Pushing open her thighs, Negan laid between them. Curling his arm around one of them, he pushed at her other thigh allowing her to open herself up to him. Bracing his left arm across her lower abdomen locked her in place. Stroking his fingers from her clit to her entrance and then back again had her hips arching upwards.

A rumble of an amused sound fell from Negan and Joel rolled onto his side to caress over the lengths of her abdomen with is mouth surrounding her breast again, “You wanna show Joel our new trick?”

A wicked smirk pulled at Negan’s handsome features, rubbing his cheek against the inside of her thighs. The rough sensation of his short beard pressing over her skin had her hips arching up toward him. Circling his fingers around her entrance, Negan lowered his mouth down to start circling his tongue over her clit. Taking his time to press his fingers into her had her whimpering. Closing his eyes, Negan seemed to genuinely enjoy pleasuring her with his mouth suctioning at her flesh. Thrusting his fingers just the right way had Negan hitting her g-spot like he had done before having a fire growing at the pit of her belly. After two orgasms? Everything was sensitive. And she didn’t know how she’d make it through the sex part if this was how they kept up at everything.

The weight of the bed adjusted with Joel moving around to the bottom of the bed with Negan. Peppering kisses over her lower abdomen, Joel surprisingly enjoyed the wet sounds that Negan’s fingers were making inside of her with her hips rocking up toward him.

“You wanna share?” Negan slurred, pulling his mouth away from her body. Not allowing Joel an answer, Negan sank his fingers into Joel’s hair to pull him closer to her core. Pressing wet, hot kisses against her clit while Negan’s fingers continued to firmly thrust into her had her cooing out. Taking turns, they would both lap at her body with their tongues and sucking at her sensitive folds. Lifting his head while Joel was pleasuring her, Negan took notice of her body shaking, her fingers curled tightly around the comforter so much so that her knuckles were turning white. “Almost there baby.”

Shudders filled her entire body with her reaching for a pillow to cover her face to muffle her cries when Negan’s fingers were forced from her body when he got her to squirt. Moaning out himself, Negan felt an incredible ache at his cock. Joel’s eyes seemed surprised with his hand stroking down over his chest.

Getting up on his knees, Joel pulled her hips closer to him, his fingers pressing into her swiftly thrusting them inside of her having her arching up toward him with her still shaking. Hitting the same spots that Negan had been prodding away at had her rocking her hips against his fingers. Joel was determined, his breathing loud.

���A little bit more,” Negan trailed his fingers down between her breasts over her lower abdomen and then back again. Hissing out, Joel felt his cock twitch when the wet sound of another orgasm flooding from her body was felt. “Hot, right? We only recently just learned she was capable of this.”

“Fuck me,” she felt like the room was spinning around her with her pulling the pillow from her face. How her heart was pounding in her chest had her breathless and she shook her head. “Are you two trying to kill me? Do you not want me around tomorrow or…?”

“Don’t be dramatic,” Negan hushed her with an amused expression when Joel laid in over her, bracing himself on his left hand. Stroking over his cock with his right, Joel teased the swollen tip over her clitoris having her whimper. Lowering down beside Y/N Negan stroked his fingers over her jawline getting her to look at him. “I want to see the look on your face when he enters you.”

Quickly kissing her, Negan looked down to watch Joel line his rigid cock up with her seeping entrance. With a smack forward of Joel’s hips, it had her head tipping back with her eyes still locked on Negan’s. Clicking his tongue at the top of his mouth, Negan let out an amused rumble of a sound with Joel lowering in over her. Hooking his arm under her shoulders, Joel brought her closer to him with his head burying against the side of her neck that Negan wasn’t at.

The bed squeaked with the thrusts Joel was making inside of her, her winces filling the air. Leaning across, Negan’s mouth covered hers with his tongue brushing against hers. Humming when he pulled away, Negan got up to his knees and his hand settled in over Joel’s lower back.

“Slow it down,” Negan instructed causing Joel to grunt and look back over his shoulder at Negan. “Draw it out. Deep plunges.”

“I know how to have sex Negan,” Joel suggested with Negan dramatically bobbing his head about.

“I agree. I know you do. But we wanna drag this out. You’re gonna wear her out and she’s right. We’re gonna dehydrate her and she’s gonna be face down sleeping in this bed tomorrow. Let’s go for a more sensual experience instead of fucking,” Negan explained, his hazel eyes locked with Joel’s dark eyes. Sliding his palm in over Joel’s ass, Negan squeezed just at the bottom of it getting Joel to flex his hips up. “Slow pull back.”

Guiding Joel’s thrusts had Joel lowering his forehead against Y/N’s with her arms hooking around Joel’s shoulders. Strangely enough Joel liked the way Negan caressed over his back while his body moved over hers.

“Thatta boy,” Negan stood from the bed watching the two of them closely. Kicking out of his pants, Negan stroked at his swollen cock. “Don’t be greedy Joel. You gotta learn to share.”

Biting back the smart remark that he wanted to make, Joel pulled his hips away from her and laid in beside her. An indescribable ache overwhelmed her with the empty feeling. Wincing, Joel felt his cock resting against his lower abdomen and loosely wrapped his fingers around it to stroke over it slightly.

“Alright beautiful,” Negan breathed, crawling in over her and bracing his weight over his palms. The top of the Santa hat fell in over his eyes again making Negan laugh. Blowing, he tried to get it out of his face, but Y/N reached up to pull it from his head revealing the messy hair beneath. “Making things less festive…”

Getting comfortable between her thighs, Negan urged her to wrap her legs around his waist, “Hook your ankles…”

Doing as she was told, a shuddering breath fell from her throat with the closeness of Negan pressing in over her bracing his weight on his left hand. Leading his manhood to her entrance, Negan took his time sinking into her with his hazel eyes locked on hers. Parting her lips, she did her best to keep her eyes locked on his. Palming in over the side of her face, Negan’s hips would push forward before pulling back almost to the tip before forward again. It was incredibly deep penetration having her whimpering with every thrust he made. Their eyes were locked with them focused solely on one another with Negan stealing small kisses.

“Negan,” she cooed out, her hands palming up and over the lengths of his chest having him moaning with his movements.

Pulling himself up into a seated position, Joel cleared his throat noticing how desperate she was to have Negan close. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t see the bond between the two of them, “We need better sharing positions…”

An amused rumble fell from Negan with him nodding. Giving her a quick kiss, Negan got to his knees dragging his cock from her tight canal with a grunt. It allowed her to shakily sit up reaching out to stroke both her hands over their cocks. Urging them forward had the two of them close with her dropping down to take Joel’s cock into her mouth before going to Negan’s. Switching between the both of them had Joel bracing some of his weight against Negan.

“Fuck,” Joel moaned, his head burying against Negan’s shoulder. Biting at the flesh had Negan hissing out, his back arching with his chest pushing out closer to Joel. Negan lowered his head pressing faint kisses at Joel’s jawline. Closing his eyes, Joel tipped his head back enjoying the way it felt. Breathlessly, Joel placed his hand in over the center of Negan’s chest. How did this keep happening? Knowing that it should have been Y/N they were focusing on, Joel turned his body. Sitting down at the top of the bed, Joel braced his back against the headboard. Wiggling his fingers to direct her to him, Joel helped her lower herself down over his length after she crawled in over him with his hand settling at her lower back. “You feel so good.”

Beyond Y/N, Negan stayed there as if considering what Joel had just done, his eyebrow arching in amusement. Nodding his head, Negan moved on the bed getting on his knees behind Y/N. Palming in over her breasts while she rocked her hips over Joel had her breathing loud.

“Do you like the way he feels inside of you?” Negan slurred, pressing kisses against the side of her face. Grasping firmly to her hips, Negan helped her bounce her hips over Joel’s length, biting at her jawline. Joel’s eyebrows were furrowed locked on the movements that her body was making over his. Bracing his left hand against the headboard beside Joel’s head, Negan pulled her hips up from Joel’s length having Joel’s cock hit his stomach with a smack. Leading himself back into her, Negan started rolling his hips from behind her having her breasts bounce in Joel’s face. The warmth of her surrounding him felt incredible with Negan nuzzling his nose in against the side of her neck. The soft smacks of his balls smacking up against her clit had her purring out. “Do you like daddy inside of you?”

Hearing Negan call himself daddy had Joel smirking and he lifted up to start kissing in over the side of Y/N’s neck. Now it felt like a competition again. Of which one was better. Y/N’s head was tipped back against Negan’s shoulder in euphoria. Flexing his bicep around her waist, Joel pulled her from Negan and led her back over him. Guiding her down to fill herself completely had her whimpering out, bracing her hands against Joel’s chest while Negan continued to kiss at the side of her neck.

Meeting her with his thrusts upward with every roll of her hips had her panting out Joel’s name. Licking her lips with her eyes closed, she hooked her arm around her to jerk Negan off. Having Negan’s lips parting, his moans muted against the side of her neck.

“Do you feel good?” Joel breathed knowing that he was letting himself get fired up. Negan didn’t see this as a competition. God he was so fucking stupid. This was supposed to be them focusing on her and by the sounds she was making it was clear she was loving this. Not seeing or believing there was anything wrong between them because Joel promised her it would be fine.

“So good,” she responded in a faint moan with her trying to hold back her cries. They both were so different that it brought forth a contrasting sensation each time they switched.

“You wanna come?” Negan growled, his fingers dropping between her thighs to circle her clit allowing the right amount of friction with her grinding against his fingers with every upward movement she made over Joel’s thick cock. Between the both of them she was a hot mess. They were stretching her and filling her in the ways only they could drawing everything out. “Go on baby…come around Joel’s cock.”

Loud pants fell from her throat with her hips tremoring over Joel’s. The contractions of her tight walls clamping to his cock from her orgasm had Joel’s head resting against the center of her chest. His moans were faint and he wasn’t quite as verbal as Negan, but as he nuzzled his nose against her chest he felt like this was the closest they’d been in a long time.

“Come here,” Negan hooked his arm around her waist, pulling her from Joel again with her back against his chest. Throwing his legs over the side of the bed, Negan let her sit in his lap for a moment bracing her hands against his thighs. Smacking faintly at her bottom, Negan got her to lift her hips up and slowly lower herself down over his cock having her whine when he filled her completely. “Take your time. Catch your breath. I just like the way it feels being inside of you.”

Sitting up, Joel urged Y/N’s face to turn toward him with him curling his finger underneath her chin. Having her weakly kiss him back made him wonder if they were truly going to wear her out for tomorrow. This was about making her feel good and they were doing just that.

Placing her feet on the ground, she grasped tightly to Negan’s thighs starting to rock herself back against Negan before forward. It drew only a small amount of his cock out of her, but it felt good. They both left her with addictive ache that she wasn’t ready to lose. Once Negan filled her fully again, she circled her hips over his in a circular motion. It had Negan’s eyelids growing heavy, his lips parting to allow the inexplicable moan that wanted to escape his lips out.

“Nothing feels better than being inside of you,” Negan alerted her, nuzzling his nose against the back of her neck. Suddenly feeling left out again, Joel smirked and curled his fingers around Negan’s neck, pulling him down to the bed. Wincing, Negan stared up at Joel with Joel’s thumb pressing over the fleshy part of Negan’s throat. Loud smacks were filling the air with her now bouncing steadily back and then forward over Negan’s cock. They both looked watching Negan’s cock disappearing into her time and time again. Her arousal coating the length of it.

“You’re a pain in the ass,” Joel mouthed, his dark eyes locked on Negan’s. An amused breath fell from Negan’s throat followed by a moan. Trying to look up, Negan wanted to continue to watch Y/N’s movements over his body but Joel kept him down. “She sure does know how to ride your cock, doesn’t she? Gets drunk off of it. Like nothing feels better than you being inside of her.”

“You’d know,” Negan commented, his breathing labored with his eyes coming to a tight close with how good it felt with Y/N doing what she was. Using his body in the ways that felt good to her. Speaking quietly, Negan sucked in a sharp breath with Joel’s grasp around his throat tightening. “Either kiss me or kick my ass because you wanna do one of the two.”

“Fuck you Negan,” Joel growled lifting his hand from Negan’s throat to smack at the side of Negan’s face. Shock flooded Negan’s eyes with his breathing intensifying.

“You little shit,” Negan lifted up, stealing an angry kiss from Joel’s lips. Part of Joel wanted to pull away, but he didn’t. Instead he kissed Negan back, with the two of them fighting for dominance over the kiss. It was a foreign sensation, with Negan moaning against his mouth. Negan’s lips parted and instinctively Joel teased his tongue in against Negan’s who eagerly sucked faintly at it. Moaning, Joel felt an ache at his cock realizing this was turning out to be vastly different than he originally thought it was going to be. Unhurriedly, he pulled back nipping at Negan’s bottom lip with the movement. Humming, Joel dragged his thumb out across Negan’s bottom lip and shook his head. Patting Negan on the side of the face, Joel smirked and then lifted up to reach for Y/N. Pulling her from Negan’s cock had her whining. She had built a confident, steady pace attempting to reach a moment of bliss for the both of them, but Joel stole that from her.

Urging her back up onto the bed. Joel got her onto her knees and moved in behind her. Entering her in a fluid movement, Joel’s head tipped back and his throat flexed with slow, steady movements. It had her bouncing forward with every thrust. Negan was still laid stretched out across the bed in front of her. His cock twitching while it rest against his lower abdomen. “Fuck me.”

Stretching out his lengthy body, Negan felt Y/N lowering down enough to kiss over his abdomen while Joel’s thrusts continued behind her, “You okay?”

“Peachy,” Negan licked his lips, snatching the Santa hat that she had pulled off him earlier putting it back on. Stroking over her face, Negan cherished her features lifting up to steal a few kisses from her. “I love you. So fucking much.”

“Mmm…I love you too,” she hummed, sucking tenderly at his bottom lip. Closing her eyes, she lowered her upper half resting it over Negan’s chest, her fingers curling around Negan’s manhood caressing over it slowly. Pressing her down, Joel’s hips smacked up against her bottom, his winces filling the air with his movements.

Reaching around with her free hand, Y/N urged Joel’s hips to smack up against her harder. Turning her head, her mouth met Joel’s lips with his tongue brushing out against hers. Instead of saying anything, his breathing grew more broken, his hand shakily reaching out to grab a hold of Negan’s. Burying his nose against the side of her neck, Joel released a faint moan, his hips slowing down but growing in strength. Closing her eyes, she winced with every thrust feeling the throbbing of Joel inside of her. With a final grunt, Joel nipped at her chin with his eyes slamming shut.

“Thatta boy,” Negan rumbled patting Joel on the side of the face. Carefully drawing his hips back, Joel grunted when his cock pulled from her warmth. Tipping his head down, he watched some of his come dripping from her body and smirked. Feeling his body aching as well, Negan got up to his feet at the bottom of the bed. Working carefully, he turned her onto her back pulling her right to the edge. Getting on his knees, he grabbed a hold of one of her thighs, pushing her legs open just enough to lead his aching cock back into her. “How do you feel? Good?”

“Yes,” she panted with Joel sliding in beside her to caress over the lengths of her abdomen, squeezing and palming at her breasts as they bounced with Negan’s thrusts.

“That’s exactly what we wanted,” Negan slurred with a weak smile, plunging his cock into her. The bed was squeaking with the thrusts he was making, his head tipping back showing that the prominent vein at the side of his neck was bulging. Having Negan moaning like he was drew a fire through her veins again. Being the reason for a man to make those sounds was amazing. Lowering down in over her, Negan curled his hand around the back of her neck to get her to lift her head up so she could kiss him. Humming against her lips, Negan’s thrusts started to grow stronger with her cries getting louder. “I just want you happy. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

“Negan,” she palmed up over Negan’s chest, her fingers teasing through the dark curls of hair that covered his skin. Tipping her head back allowed Joel the room to kiss her again. Stretching his arm around, Joel’s fingers curled around the back of Negan’s thigh urging him to move faster.

“Fuck,” Negan bit down on his bottom lip, pressing in closer to her wanting to make this more personal with the ending. A small nudge of Joel’s nose against the side of Negan’s face drew him to turn his head toward Joel. This time Joel’s lips claimed his with her moan following as Negan’s thrusts grew stronger with the swollen tip of his cock hitting her in all the right places. Parting his lips, Negan allowed Joel’s tongue to brush against his once. They all shared kisses with Negan’s moans growing raspier. Negan’s hips started to falter, his forehead pressing to hers when the first line of his come filled her. Again and again he smacked up against her having her clinging to him, her whispered praises being pressed against his ear.

“Keep going,” she pled clinging tightly to him when his thrusts quickened, her hips eagerly rocking up to meet his movements. With a final cry, her nails dug into Negan’s shoulders, his eyes rolling back when he pulled his body from hers with a wet sound. Dropping at the other side of her, they all laid there staring up at the ceiling trying to catch their breath.

“That was…” Joel finally broke the silence lowering his hand to hook his fingers with hers. “Highly unexpected.”

With a laugh, Negan rolled onto his side and loosely wrapped his arm around Y/N’s body. Nuzzling his nose against the side of her neck, Negan deposited loving kisses over her jawline and sighed, “But very nice.”

“I’m just going to be feeling it for days,” she alerted them, her breathing still labored. Turning on his side too, Joel caressed over her inner thigh, his kisses pressing in over her shoulder. The ache was strong, but one she quite liked. Lifting her head, she felt the warmth of their release spilling from her body and she licked her lips. “I’m going to need some Gatorade.”

Snorting, Negan couldn’t help but laugh causing the other two to laugh as well, “We need to clean you up.”

“Hey,” Joel called out, snatching Negan’s wrist firmly with his fingers before Negan could get up from the bed. “Why waste tissue when you can use your mouth?”

“Joel,” she breathed out his name catching the smirk that Negan gave. With a half nod, Negan lowered himself back between her thighs again having her exhaling loudly. Placing her thigh over his shoulder, Negan tenderly pressed two fingers back inside of her coating the walls of her spent body with their release. Lazily dragging them out from inside of her, Negan lifted his fingers and saw Joel eyeing them over.

“You first,” Negan looked to his fingers that were coated in their fluids, a wicked expression flooding his features. Joel’s dark eyes narrowed, but instead of backing down he lifted up to drag his tongue over the length of Negan’s fingers. Taking Negan’s fingers into his mouth, Joel sucked them clean and heard Negan’s moan follow.

A cry fell from her lips when Negan’s head lowered between her thighs with Negan’s mouth and tongue lapping at her body. Involuntarily her body shook against him. Everything was sensitive, but she couldn’t deny that it still felt good. Negan was doing just as he was instructed by Joel and her eyes squeezed shut tightly.  

“You crazy son of a bitch,” Joel hooked his fingers into Negan’s hair pulling his head up. Tugging him up, Joel dragged his tongue out over Negan’s lips. A loud exhale fell from Y/N’s throat, a weak smile forming at her lips. Over and over again Joel kissed Negan tasting himself along with the others on his mouth.

“Goddamn,” she blurt out having Joel pull his mouth from Negan’s with a wet sound.

“Don’t pretend you don’t like it,” Negan scoffed with a laugh, lowering his head enough to nip at the flesh right below her navel.

“Oh, I’m all for it. I’m just waiting to wake up now,” she brushed her fingers through Negan’s wet hair. “I always thought the two of you might have had something going on when we were younger, but…”

“We never did anything,” Joel spoke up firmly having both Negan and Y/N look at him with an odd expression when he interrupted her thought process. “I’m…straight.”

“Right, me too,” Negan snickered, his right eyebrow arching in amusement. The tone of his voice was layered with sarcasm. Giving Joel a wink, Negan started to pull himself up from the bed. “Whatever you say buddy.”  

“We just got lost in a moment,” Joel reasoned, feeling a sense of panic flooding his veins. “I don’t sleep with men. I haven’t.”

“Hey,” Y/N hushed Joel, outstretching her hand to palm in over the side of his face. “It’s okay. I don’t mind. It was hot. And you both clearly liked it.”  

“I’ll be right back, I’m going to get something to clean up,” Negan dipped in to press a lingering kiss over Y/N’s lips. Brushing his tongue against hers had her purring out. The taste of their arousal still lingered over Negan’s lips and it made her moan.

Heading to the bathroom left Joel alone with Y/N. Pulling himself up into a seated position, Joel looked toward the bathroom and cleared his throat, “It’s okay Joel. We all enjoyed each other. That’s all that matters.”

“I just haven’t…” Joel tried to defend himself again and she silenced him, sweeping her thumb across his bottom lip.

“We’re all close. It was a passionate moment and it’s okay. I’m happy that we all shared that together. It made me happy.”

“You’re not gonna look at me different?” Joel spoke almost in a whisper, his southern accent growing deeper.

“Are you going to look at me different?” she repeated the question with Joel shaking his head slowly. “Then of course not.”

“I uh…” Joel brushed his messy hair out of his face and nodded toward the bathroom. “I’ll be right back.”

Getting up to his feet, Joel gave her a wink and left her to herself laying at the center of the bed. Truly, she looked happy. It was a first for her and he knew that. Being between two men? That was something completely different and she seemed to be living off the high from it all.

“Hey,” Joel spoke quietly, closing the door somewhat behind him when he entered the bathroom. At the sink, Negan lifted his head and his eyes met Joel’s in the mirror. “I uh…”

“Don’t worry about it,” Negan shook his head, washing up and reaching for a few things. “I know you’re supposed to hate me so after tonight you’re gonna go back to your old self. Don’t let my queer brain make your straight one feel uncomfortable.”

“You’re the first guy I kissed,” Joel stammered with Negan going to walk back out to the bedroom. “Okay? I’ve only been with women. This is…weird for me.”

“It’s normal Joel. People have sex. Sex feels good,” Negan stepped forward, his hazel eyes looking down upon Joel as if trying to read him. “And that’s what just happened. We did what felt good. No labels. No dumb shit. Fuck, it was just three people aiming to feel good. Don’t make it more than it is.”

Silence followed. Negan waited for Joel to say something, but when he didn’t, Negan just chuckled to himself and shook his head. Moving around Joel, Negan went to head back into the bedroom.

“Get over here you little shit,” Joel hissed pulling Negan back, having him stumbling back to him. Taking advantage of the taller, skinnier man before him, Joel grabbed a firm hold of Negan by the jaw. His other hand wrapped around Negan’s middle. Forcing him to look in the mirror, Joel shook his head. Pressing himself against Negan’s back, Joel could hear Negan’s breathing loud. “I’m in love with her.”

“And so am I,” Negan stressed wincing when Joel nuzzled his nose in against the side of Negan’s neck. Closing his eyes, Negan sucked in a sharp breath of air with Joel kissing at his skin. Tiny bites were placed over the area and it had Negan moaning. “Just because you love her doesn’t mean you can’t want someone to pound your tight ass.”

“I think you’re confusing yourself with me,” Joel’s hips bucked up against Negan drawing Negan to hiss out firmly. “If anyone was going to fuck someone in the ass, I reckon it would be me. I’m the alpha between the two of us.”

“You scream bottom Joel Miller,” Negan was quick to reverse the hold that Joel had on him. Forcing Joel face down on the counter of the bathroom had Joel grunting out. Palming down over Joel’s back, Negan took his time to squeeze at Joel’s fleshy bottom. “The man who has to be in control of everything, all the time. You’re screaming for someone to take that control from you.”

“We know you’re the one desperate to put my dick in your mouth,” Joel slurred eliciting a laugh from Negan who nodded.

“Well, I guess I’m the dick sucker and the butt fucker in the situation,” Negan released Joel allowing him to stand up. Heading for the door, he stopped and shrugged his shoulders. “This is hypothetically speaking of course.”

Leaving him alone in the bathroom had Joel’s heart pounding away inside of his chest. Was that flirting between the two of them? Let alone, how could he even respond to what happened between them tonight. He did hate Negan. And part of him did have negative feelings toward Negan. Did this all really happen just because of a heat of the moment kind of thing?

Gathering himself, he counted down from a number and then headed back into the bedroom. By now Negan and Y/N were laying at the center of the bed. The light was turned off and the only light filtering through was from the outside. Negan had finally taken off that silly fucking hat and Y/N was drawing circles over his chest while they whispered about something.

“Do you want me to leave?” Joel wondered swallowing down hard with Y/N shaking her head. Extending her hand out toward Joel, she grasped his fingers in hers and led him to lay back down. Cuddling his head in at the back of her neck, Joel deposited a kiss and appreciated her allowing him to hold her.

A lot of thoughts were running wild through Joel’s head as he stroked his thumb over the back of her hand. What did this mean for them? What did the future hold for their relationship? And so many other things. Even though he was comfortable and the most at ease he had been in a long time, he couldn’t sleep.

“Joel?” Y/N whispered after what felt like a very long time after they had laid down to sleep. “Are you awake?”

“Uh huh,” Joel was quiet, lifting his head to see that Negan’s chest was rising and falling showing that he was asleep.

“Did you slap Negan when I had my back turned?” she looked over her shoulder at Joel who gave a sheepish smile.

“I did,” Joel didn’t lie, his eyebrows bouncing up when she let out a laugh.

“I thought so,” she snickered, pulling his hand up to press a kiss over the back of it. “Smooth Mr. Miller. Very smooth.”

“I’ve wanted to smack that man for a very long time,” Joel admitted, pressing a lingering kiss against her temple. “This was just the first time I took advantage of it.”

Another quiet chuckle was heard from her with him cuddling back in from behind her. Wrapping her up in his arms, Joel wondered if this whole threesome thing would be doable. More than anything he had a lot of questions. And hopefully they would all be answered very soon. Just right now, he was going to enjoy feeling good for the first time in a very long time.

----

Tags: @chainsawsangel @fancypeacepersona @violent-darkness @negansbestie @elegantfanficluv

@sanctuaryforthelost @dead-of-niight @dilfsandmartinis @jennydehavilland

[baphometsss]

On Solas's romantic history

Okay. I know what the consensus is. That he’s way too smooth in Inquisition to be inexperienced but... (and I’m fully prepared to get shat on for this lmao don’t kill me)

When he kisses Lavellan, that doesn’t read to me like he’s super suave and seductive. It reads more like—endeared by them trying to run away after kissing him, then being so surprised by how good the kiss felt, that he grabs Lavellan, kisses them again, pulls back with a surprised look on his face, and then goes in for more. It’s touch-starved, desperate, hungry. It’s not really all that smooth because he’s literally bending them over backwards lmao like Solas can you chill maybe

He is very smooth when flirting with Lavellan, but he's also an absolute gobshite who's spent thousands of years sassing the hell out of wannabe gods so that's not a surprise. He's witty af and enjoys some back and forth.

Solas is a very lonely man. He keeps everyone at arm’s length because he’s seen what getting close to people can do to him. His biggest fear is dying alone, and he almost gives into that because it’s what he believes he deserves for all he’s done. His life has been so stressful for so long that he's almost totally unable to consider anything else but his battles. He even says explicitly that he's tired.

That doesn’t make me think of someone who was out there in Ancient Elvhenan sleeping around all those years. No doubt he considered it, but he likely didn't pursue much with anyone physical; he enjoyed spending as much time as possible in the Fade. (The banter with Blackwall doesn't count to me personally since Solas himself thinks the whole idea is preposterous, which speaks for itself really.) Especially after being a slave/servant to Mythal seems to have voided him of his agency for some time. Then he led a rebellion and fought for thousands of years against brutal tyrants. Any one of the people he was close to could’ve been trying to kill him. Lavellan, however, has no reason to do so, so he can flirt with them freely. In all that time, it seems as though the only people he allowed to get close to the real him were Felassan and Mythal. I don’t think he slept with either, because the relationship was familial. Felassan was also loyal to Mythal, but didn’t burn his vallaslin off. (Is this a right hand/left hand of the Divine parallel again? Two brothers and their mother? Idk, I need to think about that one). For creatures with bodies made from the blood of Titans, they don’t have blood families. They would’ve had to forge their own, which is what Solas did with Mythal and Felassan.

And then there’s his ‘it has been a long time’. Most have taken this to mean that it’s been a long time since he’s been intimate with someone, but given what we know now and that he spent thousands of years in the Fade while his body was in uthenera… I wonder if he’s actually saying-- ‘it has been a long time since I lived in a body’-- ie. ‘it has been a long time since I felt physical drives, a long time since I have felt so physically real’. To me, this makes a lot more sense than the ‘he’s thousands of years old he can’t possibly be a virgin/inexperienced’ take bc like... My friends. It probably didn’t feel like thousands of years to him bc he’s essentially always existed. Time is different for spirits. It’s not like he’s gonna go: ‘well I’m nearly 4000y/o, better lose my v-card’. Time is no object when you are a timeless being. Then, given the path his life took, it wouldn’t make a lot of sense for him to be that experienced given how hard it is for him to trust.

I also personally headcanon him as heavily demisexual/demiromantic too. His true nature is so non-physical that the idea of him being very promiscuous or something just doesn’t fit his character. He needs a mental connection, to feel something, before sharing much of himself, or allowing himself the vulnerability intimacy brings, something he clearly feels with Lavellan based on how shaken up by it he is.

And it’s also canon that Solas has never been in love before meeting Lavellan. So. If he went however many millennia without falling in love, it’s also possible he went without intimacy for a long time too.

To be clear I’m not trying to say that this is the correct conclusion. My opinion has just changed a little since Veilguard (I used to think he was being smooth etc bc he's old af/v experienced, but with confirmation of former spirit Solas it’s changed my perspective somewhat)

Also:

‘Things have always been easier for me in the Fade’

‘I am not often thrown by things that happen in dreams’ my man is shooketh guys SHOOKETH

[cozycottagetarot]

Positive Plot Twists Coming Your Way

How To Pick A Group:

I recommend going with the image you find you keep coming back to after giving each of the piles a once over.

Notes:

This reading is focused on the next positive plot twist happening for you. Do keep in mind a 'plot twist' is still a plot twist ➡ there's still an element of surprise to it, this is all just clues to it happening. ✨

This Readings Contents:

Your Energy (It was supposed to be your current energy but it actually seemed more like your energy before the plot twist occurs)

The Plot Twists

This reading is for entertainment purposes only. ✨

LINKS: Reading Masterlist | Dividers | Ko-Fi | Patreon | Paid Readings — Open 🫧

Pile 1 (Vials)

Your Energy

This is one of those times when the cards don’t make sense until I’ve done the rest of the reading, so this is a bit of a mid-reading interpretation!

You have a lot going for you Pile 1– on paper, you should have a rich and fulfilling life, even if there is more you want to add in. You have (see I’m just going blank again). You’ve got yourself, you’ve got the things to make you emotionally fulfilled. Your social life is satisfactory, there are things to celebrate. You’ve got a good relationship with yourself, and you could even have someone special in your life!!! But even though you know this and you’re aware of it you just feel rather empty right now. Like none of it matters, and you’re trying and trying but there’s just this feeling of “I can’t”.

I’m not a doctor and I don’t read on health topics, but if this resonates with you (now or at the time) and feels like a mental health thing, then I definitely recommend exploring ways in which you can safely and healthily combat it. 

The Plot Twist

The positive plot twist that is happening for you is the scattered cycle you’ve been in that yields results but nothing of substance is coming to an end.

For a while now you might find that you’re doing things but they haven’t been very focused. You could have a lot if things burdening your mental or physical world and it’s taking a toll on your life. You may have successes but they don’t mean anything to you. What I mean by having things is the relationships and people there. I was wondering why your cards for your current energy were all so happy yet felt so empty and it makes sense now. Even though you’re doing well you’re lacking something though you may not even know what. Well thankfully, your sense of purpose is returning.

When you get back this sense of purpose and direction, there’s going to be action and with that action follows abundance. You’re going to be able to enjoy all that life currently offers you as well as welcoming in more. It feels like you’re going to come alive again because the energy in this section in comparison to your current energy is such a drastic shift. You could be expanding your point of view as well which is a good thing as the more perspectives we have the more opportunities will be available to us. I think you’ll also have a better grasp on how to manage everything on your plate so it doesn’t overwhelm you in the future.

Don't miss out on the extended version of this reading, which dives into the event that triggers the plot twists and sneaks a peek into its immediate and long-term impact. Check it out here.

Pile 2 (Potion)

Your Energy 

You could be connecting with your happiness on a deeper level or exploring memories of what made you happy or feel more carefree. There’s a sleepy energy... one of searching for something more. It’s also peaceful.

The Plot Twist 

You’re about to receive a win that’s going to shift your world's balance. This could be something you’ve been anticipating but regardless of if you have or not, it’s going to leave you in high spirits. It could either bring you back into balance or you’ve been anticipating what kind of results you’ll yield. I’ve been struggling with what deck to use and I pulled cards from another briefly. You had the knight of wands, the star and the seven of swords, so I think maybe you were an anxious ball of energy (good or bad) trying to be hopeful but maybe expecting the worse of course though it’s a good outcome or even if not you may discover something that makes you glad it didn’t work out. 

This could be a key piece of information you receive from someone else or something might suddenly ‘click’ for you. It could also be relating to you planting seeds and tending them, so maybe this plot twist is relating to the first ‘sprout of success’.

Don't miss out on the extended version of this reading, which dives into the event that triggers the plot twists and sneaks a peek into its immediate and long-term impact. Check it out here.

Pile 3 (Hourglass)

Your Energy 

You are diligently chipping away at a task Pile 3. You are putting in the effort to move away from something or I should say towards something. It’s not to say it’s without its sadness. There’s a bittersweet feel to this. This feels like the most straightforward pile... you have a bit of a quiet optimism going on. Part of it feels like you’re just keeping your head down trying to make the best of the situation. 

The Plot Twist 

Someone is coming in or this could be someone in your life who you two pair well together with whom you’ll find some kind of happiness and stability. Spoiler alert this is related to romance or companionship (with or without traditional romance) so that’s the only interpretation I’m reading for. You can try a different pile if that’s not something you’re necessarily looking for.  This person can be very comforting or you might start to envision creating a home, literally or figuratively, with them... they might also just feel like home. As I'm editing, I realize it could be that you're working towards creating your version of home and this person comes along. Why is this a plot twist? It feels like a shock or the feelings catch you by surprise. There’s a strong connection between you two. This could be someone from the past (with happy memories attached!) or they may help you to heal.  You may not think much of them at first but something forces you to pause and reconsider. It could be a chance to start over with this person. Some questions you may have to ask is what needs to change this time around or moving forward. The big thing you may be considering is how this person fits into your life (long term).

Don't miss out on the extended version of this reading, which dives into the event that triggers the plot twists and sneaks a peek into its immediate and long-term impact. Check it out here.

[life-is-more-than-just-a-game]

♠️ Being found in the Borderlands all by your own. ♠️

Summary: You have already been in the Borderlands for a few days and are familiar with the essential components. After a game, you've lost everyone you had a good bond with. You are the only one who was able to survive. Physically and mentally injured, you sit on the side of the road in the middle of the destroyed and desolate Shibuya district. Ready to drop everything - ready to give up - you'll be found by new players who may or may not have the willingness to help you back up when you've fallen so far.

Characters: Arisu, Chishiya & Niragi.

POV: gn!reader

Warnings: Threats, Weapon (Gun)

A r i s u

The sight of you reminds him a little of himself. He knows the look on your face when you stare in the middle of the void and don't make any effort to move from the spot, even though you know exactly how dangerous it is to just stay in one place and do nothing. When Arisu finds you, he immediately knows what's going on inside you, which is why he's already determined to help you in some way. The problem is that he doesn't know how to help you, considering he doesn't even know how to help himself.

And yet he dares to come to you after a moment's hesitation. Slowly, so you don't think he's trying to hurt you, but… even that wouldn't matter to you at that moment.

At least you don't even dare to look at him. You could say that your self-protection mechanism has left you completely. You're not afraid. No grief. Just… well, what do you feel? Nothing. Actually, it's just an oppressive void.

"I like to be part of someone else's suffering."

With these words, Arisu manages to draw your attention to him. He may get a confused, almost bewildered look from you, but it's worth it to him right now.

"All right, you don't have to say anything. Let's just… let's just sit here together for a little while and look into the distance. And if you need someone to talk to, then ... I'll be here."

What a strange guy, you think.

Still ... it's quite nice gesture, of course.

C h i s h i y a

Just on the way to the next game, Chishiya meets you. He actually had better things to do than take care of you, which is why he didn't want to pay attention to you at all, but he finds it strange that you don't respond to anything.

He's just a few feet in front of you and you're looking right at him. His gaze is focused on you, you don't react. He speaks to you with a "Hard Game Finished?" but you sit silently on your spot and don't even make the slightest attempt to give him an answer. Nonsense. Apparently, you didn't even hear him. What if he waves? You're still not moving.

That eventually makes him come over to you, just to see if you're at least reacting to it. It's sad to say nothing's happening here either. Only when he squats in front of you and looks straight into your eyes, do you at least give the reaction of you to move your eyes so that you don't look straight into his. Eye contact has never been your strength.

"Pale. Slight tremor. Indifference."

He doesn't care if you listen to him at all, but the fact is, he's going to have to give up the upcoming game after all.

"A slight shock, it looks like."

Without thinking about it, he sits down on the stony, cold floor, inspecting the wound in your face while keeping a healthy distance from you.

"I can stitch the wound when you come back to reality."

Why is he even telling you this? He'll have to start smiling about it himself. There won't be any feedback from you either way.

"It's okay", he says, "I have time."

N i r a g i

Most people who know him know how impulsive and violent Niragi can be, but as far as you're concerned, you have absolutely no clue. You didn't even mean for him to trip over your legs. You just sit on the floor and try to deal with the straightforward experience somehow. Forget the pictures of your comrades being brutally murdered. But now you are being prevented from doing so by being all the time riddled with a psycho, one might say, whom you have never even seen before in your life.

Normally, you'd apologize for what happened. I don't care if it was really your fault or not. As long as they leave you alone and go back on their way. And if there weren't any excuses, you'd at least take your legs and just walk away to get out of the situation.

Today, however, it is different. You let the curse and the provocation come upon you. Insults pass you by and don't interest you in the slightest. This, however, makes everything feel even worse. Don't you always say you shouldn't get involved with people like that? That you should just ignore them because then they'd stop harassing you? After all, it should be boring to just give monologues at some point, right? Not with Niragi, who will eventually point his gun at you, threatening to kill you if you continue to ignore him.

"Do it," you whisper softly to yourself, which is more than just serious. "Kill me," you continue, "there's nothing keeping me here any more…"

That's where you finally turn to the unknown, whom you have taken out of concept with these words.

He lowers his gun slowly and only looks at you with irritation. Did you really just say that? Did you really just give him permission to kill you with his own hands? To shoot you down?

"Wow."

Even him makes this speechless.

"Looks like someone's already done with their life."

Without saying anything else, he looks down at you in disgust, holding the gun loosely with both of his hands again, before only a bored "Hm" comes over him.

"Freak", he says, leaving you alone from now on.

Luck in unhappiness, you think ...

[shepscapades]

... that lean makes me think of the lean Bdubs did in the syncing comic....which if course begs the question: Did Etho pick up this habit of leaning to indicate processing/suspicion from Bdubs or did Bdubs pick it up from Etho? (or is it just a good way to show that emotion in comic form XD) Also.... the hair clip... My impression is that the flashback is from pretty early on. Is the hair clip a precursor to the well known headband? In universe, why a headband? Since they both do wear headbands... Was the headband originally Bdub's? Is... I know Etho is scared during the whole Last Life thing... is he thinking that Bdubs is planning specifically on targeting one of the androids? Or is that his fear talking?

... And after all that speculating... Ouch, Poor Tango!! ( i know this is an important event for Tango, but we don't see any of his reaction or feelings about any of this yet)

Wonderful comic, as always, Shep!

WEEE These are such good questions omg :DDDD alright i couldn't shut up so i'm putting it under a read more =w=

this is basically a mini comic breakdown! just rambling about some of the dbhc plot and mecahnics >:D

The lean is such a fun detail, i didn't even realize the similarities-- but it's actually a really nice (totally intentional) callback! I think Etho absolutely picked up those mannerisms from Bdubs, the same way Doc did from Ren, and so on so forth-- the androids, especially throughout season 8 and last life, are using their partnered hermits (and the other hermits in general) to learn what it means to be and act human-- vocal mannerisms, physical mannerisms, learning emotions for the first time and what it means to feel them, everything! I kind of see Season 8 as their "young" period-- their first season, the season they learn who they are and develop some of their most iconic traits. Etho is still himself, shyness and stoicism and all, but he learns his whimsy and silliness and teasing nature from being with bdubs for so long :)

THE HAIR CLIP <333 Yeah Etho's "Replaying Memory" moment is when Doc was checking out his "wounds" / the damage he sustained (from the initial creeper blast that caused his deviation) for the first time! At the time of the memory, It had probably been a little while since the actual initial incident where Bdubs had covered him up a little bit to hide the damage, but i'm sure doc or someone else noticed before long LDFKGJDF so this is their first like... "checkup"! So Etho is pretty young here (Doc too, but he already has his robot arm at this point, so...), maybe within the first month or two of season 8. So he definitely normally wears a bandana at this point (the same band bdubs made him wear initially to cover up the forehead cracks a little), but he's clipped his bangs back here so Doc can get a better look at the damage :)

I have a LOT of feelings about Etho's mental dialogue throughout last life, and it's very complicated and i won't be able to shut up about it so that's for another post. I will say, I don't think Etho ever truly thought Bdubs would Boogey kill him (though, doubt is a very powerful thing, so it turns out). I think Etho is still puzzling Bdubs out (though he's definitely learned quite a lot about him), especially when it comes to more serious situations like this, so the unknowns are definitely the biggest sources of fear for him. He can only do so much with the data he currently has, and the idea that a weapon so sharp could permanently damage any of the androids... it's an unsettling thought, regardless of whoever the mostly likely victim ends up being. (I don't think Etho expects it to be Tango, either-- not until he sees that look in Bdubs' eyes 10 seconds before it happens. I think Doc's little speech about their models is just helpful information for the reader and a sense of foreshadowing (as well as a reminder for Etho of how Not-So-Indestructible he is/the other androids are), not so much that etho thinks it's going to be tango after recalling the memory. Same for Bdubs. I dont think bdubs decided to target Tango until he was staring the back of his neck down and realized he could take the opportunity before he lost it). Anyway i've already rambled too much /silly

And lastly, Yes. This is, besides his deviation, probably Tango's most formative moment. The second time he truly experiences rage. I don't know if I could do a comic or an illustration that truly does his rage moment justice after he wakes up post-respawn and has a meltdown trying to kill bdubs, but knowing that Skizz wasn't built until s9 and is therefore missing from Last Life (AKA, Tango has no one other than Etho and Bdubs), just... makes this betrayal so, so much more painful. This betrayal is very much about Tango's rage, but it's also about his sense of trust and safety and his understanding of the way the world works. Hermitcraft is safety and jokes and support, and sure there's a bit of death here and there, but this is unlike anything he's ever known-- it's adrenaline and fear and threats and betrayal and. Anyway what a normal meltdown to have! And Etho can do nothing to calm him down except hold him back from killing bdubs (there's something to be said there too, about Tango knowing for certain now that Bdubs obviously chooses Etho over himself (Because come on, Bdubs wouldn't have killed Etho. Let's be honest here), but knowing too that Etho is choosing bdubs by not letting Tango get the revenge he so rightfully deserves...) Anyway. I think i'll explode if i think about this more

[readsaboutreid]

Detangling | S.R. imagine

this is just gonna be a short little imagine because i can't bring myself to write anything more right now and i could imagine spencer being the absolute best partner about a situation like this

You walk into the door and Spencer follows behind you. You hadn't spent as much time at your apartment since you and Spencer started getting serious, but your place was closer to the theater he had taken you to for a showing of a documentary on your favorite subject he had surprised you with tickets to go see.

After about 45 minutes of watching Star Trek on the couch together he asks you a question you'd been hoping he'd avoid asking. "It's really warm in here, love," he mentions, "why don't you take off that beanie?"

"I-I'm cold," you mutter, not meeting his eyes.

"You're flushed and sweating," he reasons, stroking a finger down your cheek before putting the back of his hand to your forehead. "You don't feel feverish. Is there another reason you're wearing the hat?" He asked with a knowing look in his eyes before you break down crying. "Wait no, please don't cry, I'm sorry I-I didn't mean to upset—" his panic is cut off by your sigh.

"It's okay, Spencer," you exhale shakily. "I'm just—I, uh, I've been feeling a little bit down recently and my hair is kind of a depression rats' nest." Your cheeks heat with embarrassment but you finally meet his eyes, which soften with understanding at your confession. "I've been hiding it with the hat until I can just go to a hairdresser and probably just have them cut it all off. It's what my mom used to make me do if I let my hair get this bad and it's kind of just the easiest way to make myself presentable again."

Spencer wraps you into a tight hug on the couch next to you. "What, uh, what if I were to help you so you don't have to cut it all off?" he asked softly, before hastily adding on, "unless that's what you want to do."

Next thing you know you're going into your bathroom and returning with a hairbrush and sitting down on the ground in front of him.

"I'm sorry about this, Spencer," you mumble as you wait on the ground in front of the couch, between his open legs. More tears prick your eyes from embarrassment and your lip trembles. "You shouldn't have to take time out of your day to take care of me like this."

"Hush, I won't hear any of that nonsense." Spencer chides from above you as he grabs the hairbrush you had approached him with. "I like taking care of you, and that's why I offered do this."

"But I—I'm an adult," the tears that welling in your eyes start to fall down your cheeks and your voice breaks as you pull your knees up to your chest. "I should be capable of taking care of myself by now!"

You hear Spencer sigh above you before you feel him shift around on the couch. He stands and walks around where you're seated until he's on his knees in front of you. He gently pulls your hands from your face, kissing each one of the palm softly and then holding them in his own. In his eyes you can see none of the shame or disgust you're expecting to see. Instead his eyes are filled with love, understanding, and concern.

He's quiet for a moment before reaching out to wipe your tears away gently. "Did you know that there are approximately 280 million people worldwide who suffer from depressive disorder? That doesn't even factor in those who suffer from depression as a symptom of an underlying physical or other mental illness." He leans in and kisses both of your cheeks. "I know there's no magic thing I can say to make you feel better, but just know that there's no shame in struggling. Or asking for help from those who love you."

"O-okay," you stammer as you look at him again before he stands and moves back to his spot on the couch. He slowly begins working his way through the tangles, holding your hair and pulling the brush through until eventually your hair is fully detangled and in need of a wash. "Th-thank you, Spencer."

He pulls you up and kisses your forehead before wrapping you into another tight embrace. "Never be afraid to ask for help when you need me, sweetheart," he whispers.

[mya-valentine]

Can I request how the genshin guys Wriothesley, Alhaitham Kaveh, and Diluc help and s/o with mental issues? 👉👈 it could be on the extreme ends too and that is very difficult to deal with.

I've been lurking your blog so far and really enjoy the way you write. It feels analytical and true to the character themselves

Headcannon: Wriothesley, Alhaitham, Kaveh, and Diluc Helping Their S/O With Mental Issues

A/N: Awww, thank you so much. I'm glad you like my work ☺️ I try very hard to make sure it's in character, which can take some time, so sorry if it took longer than you hoped. But, I hope you enjoy this

Wriothesley

Wriothesley, as the Duke of the Fortress of Meropide, has dealt with countless tough situations and hardened individuals, but when it comes to his S/O, his tough exterior would soften. He may not be the most emotionally expressive, but he would offer his unwavering presence. His approach would be calm and steady, understanding that extreme mental health issues require time and patience.

Wriothesley would be a rock for his S/O, always available to listen, hold them when they feel broken, and remind them that they aren’t facing their struggles alone.

If his S/O were engaging in self-destructive behaviors, Wriothesley would address it firmly, ensuring they seek help. He’d make sure they know he’s serious about their well-being while also ensuring they don’t feel judged.

Understanding the mind-body connection, he might encourage them to engage in physical activities, like training or boxing, to help release some of their emotional pain. He would emphasize physical strength as a tool to channel inner turmoil and feel more in control.

Alhaitham

Alhaitham is highly intellectual, preferring logic over emotion, but that doesn't mean he would be cold or detached. His intelligence would shine through in how he approaches his S/O’s mental health struggles.

Alhaitham would study mental health thoroughly to better understand what his S/O is going through. He’d offer them resources, not in a pushy way, but so they have tools available when they feel ready.

He wouldn’t smother his S/O with affection or pressure them to talk before they’re ready. Alhaitham values autonomy and would give his S/O the space to process their feelings while subtly reminding them that he’s always available.

When his S/O feels overwhelmed by their emotions, Alhaitham would gently steer them towards rationality, helping them break down their thoughts. He would help them find clarity amidst their mental chaos by calmly discussing what’s troubling them and offering practical solutions.

Kaveh

Kaveh, with his emotionally sensitive nature, would be deeply empathetic towards his S/O’s mental health struggles. He’s someone who wears his heart on his sleeve and wouldn’t hesitate to openly express his concern and love.

Kaveh would be incredibly understanding and affirming, constantly reminding his S/O that their feelings are valid, no matter how extreme. He’d be the type to hold them and offer comforting words, reassuring them that it’s okay to not be okay.

Being an artist, Kaveh might encourage his S/O to express their emotions through art, writing, or other creative outlets. He would guide them to channel their mental struggles into something beautiful, helping them process emotions in a therapeutic way.

Although this may not be the healthiest response for Kaveh himself, he would have a tendency to put his S/O’s needs before his own. He would be the type to stay up all night talking them through their feelings, even if it drained him emotionally. Kaveh would feel a deep responsibility to be there for his S/O, no matter what.

Diluc

Diluc, though quiet and reserved, has a deeply caring heart, especially for those he loves. He understands hardship and loss on a personal level, so he would approach his S/O’s mental health struggles with a mix of seriousness and tenderness.

Diluc would want to protect his S/O from their own struggles, even if he can’t fix everything. He’d be highly attentive, observing their emotional state, and would always offer gentle support when he notices them struggling.

Knowing that sometimes words aren’t enough, Diluc might silently offer comfort by being near, inviting his S/O to spend time with him in the quiet of Dawn Winery. He’d ensure they have a peaceful environment where they can heal at their own pace.

Diluc would likely be the one to gently suggest seeking professional help if the mental health struggles became too overwhelming. He wouldn’t push them, but he’d make it clear that their well-being is his top priority and that it’s okay to seek outside support. Diluc would even help arrange therapy or counseling if his S/O needed it, wanting them to have the best care possible.

In all cases, each of these characters would handle extreme mental health difficulties in their own way, but the common thread is their unwavering support, patience, and dedication to helping their S/O through their struggles, no matter how hard things get.

.

.

.

Masterlist

[mysticheathenn]

Messages From Your Mental Prison

Hi, Hexlings!

This pick-a-card reading is about your mental health and the state of how you view the world and everything that is going on in your life. This could be about your depression, Anxiety, or even suicidal thoughts. Read with caution as this reading may have triggers.

This is a general reading, remember to take what resonates and leave what does not. This reading does not supplement your need to seek professional help. Tarot should be used as entertainment and not a for sure answer to your problems but as a guide, a sense of hope, and amusement.

Take your time when choosing your pile. Ask yourself the question and choose the picture that you can’t stop looking at. Listen to your intuition.

MasterList

Patreon Link

TW Ahead Read With Caution

Pile l:

Messages From Your Mental Prison. Tarot: 8 of Pentacles (Reversed), 9 of Swords, 4 of Swords (reversed), 10 of Cups (reversed), Justice

This reminds me of the TikTok clip of the voice screaming "It's not fair. It's not fair." reminding me of how many people have probably told you that you handle stress and everyday life so well but little do they know your mental state is literally one inconvenience away from having a mental breakdown. Stress and anxiety practically camp out in your mind on a daily basis pile l. You can't seem to escape it, it's all you have known for quite a while and you're tired. There is a saying that "There is no sleep for the wicked" Well in your case "There is no sleep for the poor or those who lack the resources to pull themselves up in their life." All you want in life is enough to pay your bills and a little extra for savings and be able to do something with your life like try a new hobby without feeling guilty for spending money that isn't on "important" things like survival. You probably have been in survival mode for quite some time now and wondering when will you see a breakthrough. You're tired of being tired. You're tired of practically playing Russian roulette with your bills of which one can you not pay for this month. One thing I will say pile l is even though things may seem bleak please don't give up, I sense things will get better financially for you. Sometimes in life you just need to find your footing for things to take off.

Extra Messages: Tea Tree Leaf Oracle: Seek out information that will help you out, A Journey either physical or mental, unsettled times. Need to plan ahead, Announcement, Get back to the basics.

Pile l your extra message oracles make me believe that you feel lost, maybe even stuck for some of you with no clue in the world of how to better your situation or go about life. You have the get back to the basics card which sticks out to me like a sore thumb letting the game know that I sense you may be the type who always tries to do those get-rich-and-quick schemes like drop shipping or anything else you see that pops up on your social media feed and it never works out for whatever reason. You want to know why....it's because you aren't supposed to be doing that. That's not your path to riches. You have the 8 of Pentacles and 10 of Cups card but it's reversed meaning you are meant to have emotional and financial fulfillment you just need to stop and get back to the basics. What basics mystic? What is it that has been drawing or calling you in? What is something you keep putting off or not doing because you believe based on society and family it won't make you any money? For most of you, this is what you need to be doing. For others of you, you will be going on a journey where you need to find this out. Figure out what feeds your soul that you would do for free and do that but add tax. You are meant to freelance and be your own boss, not working for other people. Overall this is a journey process for you pile l. You will deal with more hard times as you figure this out but remember this journey is temporary to where you want to be, so keep pushing. An answer if it hasn't already will come to you.

Pile ll:

Messages From Your Mental Prison. Tarot: The Hermit, Page of Swords (reversed), Queen of Cups, 10 of Wands, 10 of Swords (reversed)

When was the last time you nurtured yourself or spent time alone and really tried to heal and nurture yourself with positive thoughts pile ll. It's a never-ending cycle of you constantly bombarding yourself with cruel words that aren't true. This reminds me slightly of the reading I posted titled Mystery pt. ll. But overall this feeling of yours feels more so as if the world has its weight on your shoulders and you feel as if you are a burden to those around you. You may live at home, with roommates, or feel that you constantly are asking anyone and everyone around you for help as if you can't do anything for yourself and you're tired. You're ready to be able to be independent without having to rely on others. Maybe others have made you feel bad as well for asking for help when you are down on your luck to where you just feel crushed, stuck, unable to move in a direction because one way people will make you feel bad for your predicament and the other hand you will make yourself feel bad because you feel whatever this is you should be able to do by yourself but can't because life is tough right now. As I mentioned in pile l you need to get back to the basics. Get back to the basics of life and take things one step at a time. You are doing the best you can with what you have and don't let anyone make you feel bad about that.

Extra Messages: Tea Tree Leaf Oracle: Position of authority, August, Someone you know is undependable and insincere, Slowly but surely getting ahead. Pay attention to your work, Good Fortune.

As mentioned your life while it maybe chaotic at the moment everything is a journey and slowly but surely things will get better and you will get ahead eventually. With the Position of authority I am seeing this in two ways some of you should pay attention to your work as there may be a position available for you in management where you can make more money this may happen around or sometime in August. If not within the company you work maybe this is an invitation to be your own boss or look elsewhere for higher positions especially if you have more than enough qualifications. For others of you, this position of authority is letting you know that you are the boss of your own life and have complete control of what goes on and who is in it. Never let people who claim to be friends or family make you feel bad for being on hard times. They aren't who they say they are and you should move accordingly with that information. Overall Good Fortune is in your cards by the end of this rough patch. You just need to focus and hone in on ways you can do more within your life with the resources of which you have. Again this could be moving up in the company or going elsewhere, where advancement is an option.

Pile lll:

Messages From Your Mental Prison. Tarot: The Star, The Sun, Ace of Pentacles (reversed), The Fool (reversed), Awakening

Pile lll, my babies, it's time to allow yourself to be seen by the world. It's time to stop hiding in the shadows allowing life to pass you by. You can't keep yourself in the mental prison of feelings of imposter syndrome, fear of judgment, etc. Life wants to give you financial blessings, especially with the Ace of Pentacles in Reversed but you are blocking them because you aren't doing what needs to be done. This could be you starting a YouTube channel, being a content creator on social media, writing a book or screenplay/ maybe even fanfiction for some of you, others this might just be you hiding from a promotion that you deeply desire but feel you lack experience, knowledge, etc. Whatever this is for you, you have to release the thoughts that plague your mind and go for the thing that puts you in front of everyone. Yes at first you may make mistakes or look cringe or whatever the issue may be but that's how everything is when you first jump deep into something. You make mistakes and people will talk...but you want to know something life moves on and the world doesn't end. Seriously do the thing, it's time. You will beat yourself up if others take the things that you want for yourself and you want to know something you have no one to blame but yourself because you decided to not do what needs to be done. Write the book. Film yourself. Apply for better jobs even if you think you are not qualified. Have you heard of the girl who applied to jobs she had no business doing and ended up getting hired making $100k a year...that could be you right now but you are stuck listening to self-doubt and the thoughts of what others will say. Storytime: I knew that I didn't want to continue working at whatever job I was working at back in 2015 so when my friend and I figured out that employers don't check a lot of your information we applied for positions that would pay us well and you want to know something the resume I lied on got me so far in life to where I was Assistant GM of hotels at one point. All because I believed I could do what others were doing in the hotel industry even without a lick of experience. Did I mess up in the beginning, yes. Did I care...no because I was doing more good than harm so no one really questioned if I lied or not. You have to take the jump. Do the thing.

Extra Messages: Tea Tree Leaf Oracle: Short Journey, Back to Basics, Work achievement & success, TIME TO ACT, Someone is extremely stubborn and unwilling to change, Protected from negative forces beyond your control, Solid foundation success with effort, waiting for news package or letter, A meeting with a strange could be important.

Pile lll do you see the amount of synchronicities in your oracle reading. Spirit is coming through loud and clear that you need to get out of your stubbornness and began acting on your dreams, goals, and desires. You are protected from anything that could try and take what this is away from you. Even with a solid foundation success with effort is telling you "Hey if you do the thing you will not fail because you are protected." Now this goes without saying that you won't deal with some challenges because that's life what it is saying is you will come out on top and the journey for you won't be a long one if you just do the effort that it takes. Spirit will do the rest if you just do what needs to be done.

Pile lV:

Messages From Your Mental Prison. Tarot: The Empress, Queen of Pentacles, 5 of Swords (reversed), 8 of Swords (reversed), 6 of Wands

You are victorious pile lV your only problem is that you don't believe you are worth a pot to piss in a lot of the time. Even with the Empress and Queen of Pentacles card here letting me know how nurturing, giving, empathetic, and even resourceful you are you don't see any good things about yourself. You remind me of people who speak negatively about themselves not knowing that their actions speak the opposite. You can't say you don't care but your actions speak another language. You can't put yourself down but then be upset when life mirrors your thoughts. Deep down you know how amazing you are and the many great things that you can do, but for some strange reason you recently for some of you while others of you this has been going on for a while where you constantly hold yourself to such a low standard and critic everything that you do. Why is that? Where did it begin? How can you remove this person or thing that made you feel this way? For some of you, this may have been a relationship (platonic, romantic, or familial) that made you feel self-critical of yourself because they felt something about themselves. You must remember that when people speak unkind things to you that it's a reflection of themselves and not you. You don't have to take what others think of you and run with it as if they are true because they are not. A scene that comes to mind is when the mom in Black Swan says "What happened to my little girl?" What happened to you that made you feel and think these thoughts to yourself and how can you get back to the Empress and Queen of Pentacle energy.

Extra Messages: Manifestation Oracle Cards: Wellbeing, Empowerment, Strength

How can you today give yourself the love that you deserve? Is it a DIY spa day? A trip to a therapist or talk with a trusted friend? How can you show up for yourself in ways that you haven't before that will make you see the person you are? Have the strength and courage to stand up to anyone who makes you feel any less than what and who you are. For a few of you, you may be a part of the LBGTQ+ community and others around you have made you feel different, a "freak" or whatever insecurity that you question your existence. There is a quote by Elenor Roosevelt that says "No one can make you feel inferior without your permission." Please don't let assholes who were raised by baboons let you lower yourself or feel anything less than amazing, beautiful, and authentically you. Regardless of how you feel about yourself find something in your life, day, or something as small as a freckle on your face that you love and keep bringing more of that energy in for you and keep your head up. This feeling is only temporary, things will get better.

Thank you for liking and reblogging my readings. I always appreciate you guys on here and on Patreon.

Stay safe and be blessed

[drdemonprince]

Do you have any immediate thoughts about core identity and autism?

I have a great, neurodivergent friendly therapist - bottom-up, somatic, all that shit that's supposed to be good for autistic clients. But I've been stalled for the last half dozen sessions over the feeling that I have no core 'self', that I am so much a mimic of people around me that my internal self has no core qualities beyond the immediate drive to survive and avoid demands and sensations.

It comes out as "I have no inherent value" (c'mon, no one does) and "I have no inherent moral drive, I just know what causes me pain probably causes others pain, and I am aware other people are different enough from me that I have to believe them when they say something causes them pain, and I must avoid pain for myself and others"

I've been trying to express to my therapist that core identity terms are maybe better couched in vocabulary for computer programs or robots, but it's difficult to adjust therapy speak into that even with a curious and agile therapist.

I have been thinking a lot about animals lately. Animals that are not humans have no "core self." They have no thoughts of self-worth. If you truly look into the eyes of, say, a squirrel or a turtle, you will immediately recognize a great, living void. They are a collection of survival instincts, learned responses, and reactions to the present environment that have some general pattern of constancy but which are ever-evolving.

They do not exist for any "reason," they just exist. No instinct that they have is false, even one that is mimicked or new. They have no morality, only reactions that propel them and follow a sense that is senseless to us creatures with minds that are forever narrating and judging. They just exist and that existence is inseparable from their present physical reality. The same is true of each of us, our minds only complicate it.

I think it is very compelling to be much like any other animal. When I am alone, or feeding my most primal hungers (when I am famished, say, or craving a drink or cigarette), I have no worries of whether I am being authentic or valuable to society or even if I am good. I simply experience feelings and cravings. Life is lived through experiences, as a consciousness that can take things in and do things that affect reality in turn. Life is not lived via our identity or even our beliefs. The universe is horrifically indifferent to what we aspire to be, or believe is right. Entire species exist only due to mating rituals that require murder or rape, and the thriving of one species often spells the doom of others or even itself. It is disgusting and meaningless, being an animal. But in that void there is such stillness and great beauty.

I have been able to access this dark-eyed feral side of myself more lately. I have been spending more time alone, no longer even trying to mask to myself as the kind of social, giving being I had convinced myself I had to be, if my life narrative were to be that I got well. I don't care about being well. Or even being good. Those terms are playmobil level human made up stupid. When I touch that void, and dwell in it, I can see that none of it matters and none of those human judgments are real, and that the fiction of my core self does not really exist at all. And I find it very peaceful.

Lately hard core bondage really helps me get there, mentally, as do long swims and long walks late at night. Conversations with the rare few who are not afraid of almost any thought also help me get there. Most of all I just need time and fucking silence. There are pictures of me lately where I can see an animal. Not someone posing or trying to manage an impression. In those few photos I can feel some unnamable emotion that is real. It is that animal void that exists in all things, that is the breathing of life into flesh.

Therapy, I have got to say, is the stuff of small minds. I don't mean you, I mean your therapist. Therapy can only process in individual personality units, which are a fiction, and it believes that problems exist to be solved through an optimization of the self. You need to be confident. Need to know who you are.

I have often written like that, forgive me for it. But problems do not exist to be solved, they just exist, and some things do not get better, and there really isn't a better or a worse anyway, there is just a vast ecosystem responding to things. A great void of life always teeming, always changing. Great loss and growth and change, violence and birth.

And so I am not surprised to hear your therapist does not get it. The detached view you take of morality likely frightens them. But that might mean you are on a far more compelling path than what they would desire for you, which is probably self-esteem boosting exercises and tidy scripts for setting boundaries with your parents. That stuff is fine. But expecting too much from it is like asking a can opener to explain the universe.

Thanks for writing.

[copperbadge]

Hi Sam! I wanted to ask if you feel lately like you've been getting anything positive out of your therapy, because a lot of your initial thoughts about it kind of mirror mine. I'm very logical (except when I'm upset at myself) and very skeptical, so I feel like a therapist either isn't going to tell me anything new, or that I'm going to just disregard it because I can't trick myself into believing things that I just plain don't believe.

But I'm also starting to come to a realization, two years after my ADHD diagnosis and letting go (without therapy!) of most of the executive dysfunction-fueled self worth issues I was having, that I'm kind of Not Okay in other ways. I'm safe —going to work every day and doing my job so I won't lose my livelihood and have never had a self harm urge in my life— But I'm not really okay. I'm having major self esteem issues related to my personality separate from the executive dysfunction that are putting me in a bad place. I don't want to take antidepressants for reasons I won't go into but that means my other option is therapy and... I don't know if I'm a person that therapy will actually work on. I found a lot of validation in some of your perspectives, about affirmations being bullshit and "mindfulness" exercises feeling impossible and useless, about not having an inner monologue and how that might be causing issues with traditional methods. So I was just wondering, do you feel like therapy is working now that you've been in it longer?

I've wasted a lot of money on "elective" (and ultimately useless, back to square one) medical nonsense this year and I'm not eager to waste more, but I've also met my insurance deductible so it's the best time to try it if I'm going to.

I mean, it depends on the modality a little but I don't think trying basic talk therapy can hurt, as long as you find a decent therapist. And it's better to try it now when you're feeling Mostly Okay than waiting until you are Really Not Okay. But this entire paragraph comes with a lot of context so....

A lot of what I talked about in terms of struggling with mindfulness, etc. was less related to the therapy I am still in than it was to the DBT class I took at Therapist's suggestion. We were both aware that she was basically throwing stuff at the wall to see what stuck, and while it was an interesting class I don't think for me it was helpful. As you mention, I struggled with affirmations and visualization since neurologically I'm not really set up for those; I don't think they're objectively bullshit but I do think there's an assumption within the mental health industry that they will have function for everyone and that's simply untrue, and the expectation that it will is very damaging. I also struggled with the physical-intervention aspects (called TIPP usually) which didn't work at all for me and felt frankly like doctor-approved self harm. DBT can get very culty, which set off a ton of red flags for me -- possibly false flags, but they still waved real big.

And that's because I also have a lot of trust issues surrounding therapy. To the point where, the minute one of the people running the DBT class made actually quite gentle fun of me for asking a question he couldn't answer, I checked out on anything he said. We were learning about a DBT concept called Wise Mind and I asked, "If wise mind is an identifiable mental state, how do we know if we're in it?" and when he couldn't quite answer beyond "It's different for everyone" I said, "But if we know it's real there must be some kind of common denominator, a measurable data point," and he said "Well, Sam, you're not going to levitate" and the rest of the class laughed. Sorry bud, this is almost certainly an over-reaction, but I'm me and you lost me when you came at me instead of just admitting you didn't know. (Also it turns out I just live in Wise Mind like 80% of the time which is one reason I couldn't tell.)

But basic talk therapy outside of DBT is just...you talk at someone about your problems and come up with ways to try and solve them, which is a lot more straightforward and way less frustrating. You have to be an active participant, you have to both have a goal and be willing to discuss reaching it, but that goal can be as simple as just "figure out what my mental health goals should be" at first. You don't have to learn like, vocabulary for it.

The thing is, while I have seen some improvement in regulation issues, I also struggle with basic talk therapy. Most people, and this blew my mind, see measurable improvement in nine to eighteen therapy sessions. A lot of people don't go long-term, they just are having a moment and get help getting through the moment and then can disengage, with their therapist's approval.

I was in therapy consistently from the age of nine to eighteen and only stopped because I reached legal majority and physically refused to go.

Not one minute of those nine years did I want to be there. And, because none of the three therapists I saw across those years actually explained to me why I was there or how therapy worked, for me it felt like "Your punishment for having feelings is to speedrun every feeling you had this week in an hour, to a stranger." There was also what my current therapist believes to be some extremely unethical behavior going on, which didn't help.

So it has taken actually a lot of time to get to a place where I would even allow her to understand what help I need. I've been in therapy for about a year (generally weekly but there have been some gaps) and it has only recently gotten deeper than very basic interpersonal problem-solving.

Like, two weeks ago I told her, "I had a thought this week that I couldn't tell you about something I was doing because then you'd have material on me" (meaning blackmail material) "and that's a fucked-up thing to think." And once I'd actually identified it as fucked up I had zero issue telling her about it, wasn't even nervous as I did so. Who's she going to tell? She's literally legally constrained from telling.

I think well over half of what she does is either validate that whatever emotion I'm having is normal, affirm my reactions so I don't keep believing I behaved weirdly, or praise something I've done that was a positive act. Does this work? Not always, because I'm unfortunately very aware that it's part of her job to do those things. But yeah, sometimes. Even if you don't fully believe it, "Hey that was a really smart move" is nice to hear. Sometimes she helps me come up with a plan for stressful future events or (rarely) behavior modification, and sometimes she either provides me with research or points me towards research I can do on my own. We don't do meditation or affirmations or stuff like that.

Like, last week I brought up the fact that I hadn't really ever thought about how if I have a disability that causes emotional dysregulation and I got it from my parents, they also likely had undiagnosed emotional dysregulation when raising me. So she said I should look into research on children with emotionally dysregulated parents. I was pretty annoyed by what I found (the ONE TIME adults are the focus instead of the kids is the ONE TIME I needed to learn about the kids, really?) but it led to something that was both informative and upsetting, so we discussed that. And when I was stumped about how to move forward with the information, she suggested that my general coping mechanism of writing about it was probably a good plan.

(At which point I just silently advanced my powerpoint presentation to the next slide, where I had a series of quotes from the Shivadh novels where Michaelis, acting as a parent, repeatedly does the exact opposite of the upsetting thing, because I realized even before the meeting that it's an ongoing theme in my work whenever I deal with people being parents. It's a good thing she has a sense of humor and also that I do.)

So yeah. Going into therapy you have to be ready to reject a therapist if you don't like them or if they get weird and pushy, you have to be ready to be a self-advocate, but you are the client; it shouldn't be super difficult to find someone who can at least walk you through what you want from it and agree not to do the stuff you don't want, and if you want to stop going you just...stop going.

Good luck, in any case! I hope you get what you need, whether or not that ends up being therapy.

[celestialtarot11]

May Month Predictions for You 🌅💖

Hi friends! Welcome back to another PAC reading. Today we’ll be doing May month predictions 🤭 this ones extra spicy! Enjoy and feel free to like comment and reblog 🤍

Pile 1: Hi there pile 1’s! 🌅💗 I see for you May is all about speaking your truth and owning your needs/wants. Speaking up about the things you like or don’t like, setting boundaries and becoming organized. If you are moving into a new place this month will be about physical organization, it helps you think clearly and feel better when your space is clutter free. Also this is a month for you of clearing out the old, especially physical things. It may carry emotional attachments and its time to release that. May for you is beautiful because I see you are becoming disciplined in your goals, plans and solidifying your dreams. You are also having the strength and capacity to let go of what doesn’t serve you 🥰🤍 If you are wondering about romance this month is the month where you focus on you, i know it may not be what you want to hear especially if you are seeking a person. This isn’t a sign they won’t come in, I think spirit is saying to get your ducks in a row for yourself first and this person will meet you halfway ☺️💗 which can very well be in this month! Never mess with divine timing 🤣 I think for those who are in relationships you will be coming back to yourself, focusing on self care a lot more and will be prioritizing healthier habits and mental stimulation. This may be a month for you to explore dating as well if you haven’t found someone! 👀 enjoy pile 1’s!

Pile 2: Hi there pile 2’s! Welcome to your reading 💖🤍🤭 I could you not I was so excited for you doing this reading!! If you are wanting a promotion or a job this is the month! If you are an entrepreneur and hoping to receive financial help it will come! You are moving into such an abundant place mentally emotionally and physically, and nothing is in your way. You want to focus on peace, wealth and happiness this month, and you are self assured in your joy 💖🌅 For those who are moving places, this place will help you relax and find lots of peace and abundance. Material abundance and also internal happiness. If this is something you’ve been working on for a long time, like a project, a business, or moving out, it will pay off in May. May is your month to shine and feel good. I see any storms are being put to rest, you’re focused on you and you feel open minded. Any financial opportunities will flow to you now 🤍🌅 in terms of romance I do see you’re maybe looking for options now, but not at your expense. Meaning you are performing self care whilst managing options and we love that! There will be someone coming in to whisk you away 👀 and I mean in a good way lol. They will have you intrigued by their conversation and way of thinking. You will enjoy debates and banter and discussions with this person. This can also be a new friend for a lot of you! Not necessarily romantic. Thank you pile 2 for being here 💗🌅 dont forget to like comment and reblog to spread the love

Pile 3: Hey there pile 3 👀 welcome! 🤗 For your May month I see travel plans are being solidified. I also heard “the gc made it out the group chat” so for you maybe there is a friend group you’ve been wanting to travel with, and May is when it happens! I also see you are focused on making different streams of income which is leading you to explore different positions, and experiences. Like maybe you have one job where you make pizza and then another where you are a contract manager 🤣 two vastly different options! But it would be something you enjoy. Something that calls to you and something you’re ready to pursue. Its definitely not tedious and boring as a contract manager, its something that you already wanted to do and thought of for so long. May month could be clearing up for you in terms of your schedule, and time. So you have more time to focus on you and your hobbies. For romance ya’ll could be meeting a fancy person whilst traveling 👀 or it could be everyday commute and someone strikes your fancy. Someone you’d like to be with, they have what you consider is attractive 🥰🤍 ya’ll could also be traveling home and are saving up and May month is wonderful! I also am hearing for advice dont stick to plans too much this month, there’s something about you being reliant on structure and plans which nothing is wrong (I do the same) but spirit wants you to be flexible a little. Allow for some spontaneous adventure, random happenings, and fun 👀 enjoy pile 3! 💗💖 dont forget to like comment and reblog 🤍

Thank yall for always being here 💗🥰 this one is a fun one! Wishing ya’ll a happy May month.

Paid readings ☺️🌅