#been enjoying this game. while it's a bit derivative it is derivative of things I enjoy and it's fun to play. soloed it twice now

[mothcpu]

can we see your fish man🙏

hell yeah. please do not the fish

[goodlouse]

my thoughts on the two most recent games i've played (mouthwashing and silent hill 2 (2001)) which i've been thinking about alternately for the past few days for similar reasons

going to mention spoilers in here but this post will probably only be fully comprehensible to ppl who have experienced both games

not expecting many to read this but tumblr is quickly becoming my outlet for opinions that I can't rlly post on very public sites like tiktok where any criticism of a media means that I hate it and hate you for liking it. haterism be damned I actually got a net positive from playing both of these games!!

so I started playing silent hill 2 (original because I do not believe in/have the money to buy modern remakes) fresh off the back of silent hill 1 which is a game I REALLY enjoyed. I would EVEN say that sh1 is my number 1 cosiest game of the year.

sh2 is dirtier, bleaker and sleazier than sh1, and is lacking a lot of the occult aspects that I really liked. it's also like one of the most talked about games ever so like . i went into it with the knowledge of a few major plot beats and it took a long time playing to be able to take the game on its own terms.

i also took a little break halfway thru the game to stream mouthwashing for some curious friends. mouthwashing is a game thats very popular w streamers & youtubers and their audiences, so major plot points are also incredibly talked about. I mentioned this to a friend while setting up the game and he said I'll get something out of it anyway and then compared it to silent hill 2, which I kind of brushed off as a "psychological horror w unreliable narrator" thing (sorry choccy if you ever read this) but it turns out the two games are actually very similar in the way they draw my ire LOL

these things being: -sexual assault victim who doesn't have time in the plot to exist outside of her trauma. this is partially due to both plots being very tight and concise with no elements that don't serve a higher function BUT -this is then undermined by certain areas of gameplay dragging. for mouthwashing especially the last ~45 minutes felt very weirdly paced and unfortunately made me think of ppl who speedrun garten of banban in under 2hrs to get the steam refund, which resulted in later chapters being padded w drawn out segments.

The friends I was streaming for that have consumed more media than I have said that a lot of tropes in the game felt a bit derivative, but I don't know the things its deriding from BUT I wish mouthwashing would take more from the survival horrors its imitating in it's style. The gameplay between character interactions is limited to inputting codes you've read or corridors where there's only one correct route and everything else results in a reset - I think people that watched mouthwashing through a letsplayer might not truly get how understimulating that feels. Some more psychologically symbolic puzzles and riddles would not have gone amiss!

which brings me back around to silent hill 2, where I am legitimately just too stupid to do the 'collect and combine 3 items to progress' without a guide. because A) I don't intuitively clear out all rooms because I hate all combat encounters BECAUSE i am being too overly conservative with ammo so every enemy gets a fight to the death with melee weapons

i finished the game with a SURPLUS of ammo btw so that is partially on me for making myself struggle unnecessarily, but oh my goddd the prison/labyrinth section took so long!!

I also quite disliked eddie's plotline, which unfortunately literally just came down to his character design :/ his plot revolves around resentment over the way he's been treated for his appearance, but as a fat fuck myself my grievance was with the way he's been dressed by real world character designers that are falling on stereotypes. its juvenile in a way that betrays the subtlety of the rest of the game, and makes him seem infantile despite being so essential to james's arc. I genuinely think that a wardrobe change would have silenced my gut reaction of "what are they trying to say with this?", and its disappointing to see that the remake didn't take the opportunity when they did with maria

angela's plot was fascinating to me for depicting an abuse survivor with some imagery I've not really seen in other media! I think her character was written with a lot of respect, and her and eddie's plots feel like complimentary and cautionary tales to james, but it's very sad that ultimately her trauma was depicted as something that can't be lived with - this is something she shares with anya. I guess it's kind of disappointing that a womans struggle with sexual trauma ends in death in two games that are 20 years apart, I personally feel that theirs (and jimmy's suicide) is a bit of a tired trope

however. despite finishing extended periods of both sh2 and mouthwashing feeling annoyed and frustrated that they werent as tight as the rest of the game, but now that I've had days to process them my mind has been lingering on a few moments.

-pleasantly surprised by how legitimately startling pyramid heads introduction, really good use of unsettling imagery -sh's soundtracks always hit at the moments it counts -the last hour of sh2 had me in tears, mary's letter was bittersweet and I love how the tone completely changes depending on the ending. as someone that likes the occult stuff in the other sh games I loooove the implications of the rebirth ending but I appreciate it seems a bit left field in this standalone plot

-jim & curly's ladder conversation in the cockpit, I think that one stuck with me especially as the one defining moment in both of their outlooks, the wealth and status inequality that still leaves both of them wanting more out of their lives.. the guilt and resentment that can come of circumstantial success etc etc -similarly the dead pixel convo -swansea's honest monologue -the glitch effect after anya's suicide was REALLY cool visually, it felt like the one defining moment where mouthwashing really took advantage of its medium

TLDR I feel like I learned a bit about what I like and dislike in psychological horror by playing these two side by side, defintely interesting research while I'm drafting a horror comic with a dreamlike atmosphere... :)

[st0rmyskies]

Psst hey, hey Stormy.

Which Links lick their ice cream cones and which Links bite them.

Which Link has been banned from eating ice cream in front of witnesses

~🐹

Twilight - Dedicated licker. Any good country boy knows to savor that hard-earned ice cream! Frozen treats are best enjoyed in the heat of summer, too, so he's got a lot of work to do keeping up with every drip down the side of that cone.

Wild - A talker, unfortunately. He'll take one lick, go on and on about something or other, yelp when he realizes he's losing the battle against the ambient temperature, and go through an elaborate ritual of both licking and biting, hopefully before the top of it sloughs onto the ground.

Champion - 100% biter. Food is not meant to be savored. It's meant to fuel you so you can move on to other, more important things.

Warriors - His teeth are much too sensitive for biting cold things, and he is incredibly careful to lick it the 'right way' to minimize getting his hands sticky. That means start at the bottom and work your way up.

Sky - All the others try not to watch while he's eating ice cream. It ain't his fault, but we've all seen those Lips. The fact that he's a slurper/licker doesn't entirely help matters. Is he doing it on purpose? I mean, Sky is a little shit at heart.

Legend - He's a licker, too, and Wars may or may not derive not-so-subtle pleasure from getting Legend fired up about something or another just to watch him talk with his hands and send the top of his cone sailing onto the ground.

Hyrule - Also a biter. No time to savor things, this bitch has to get back to WORK.

Four - A bit from column A, a bit from column B. Treats were meant to be savored, but the peak of a soft serve cone is definitely meant for biting. In Shadow's company, he's got to eat it fast, too, because once Shadow's is done it's a fight for the rest of Four's.

Wind - He's more of an ice pop kind of guy, keeps his hands free for typing/gaming/whatever so he can just let it hang out of his mouth.

Time - Lactose intolerant.

[funficwriter]

A Wolf and A Snake (Wriothesley x Reader)

Letters' Interlude - 1

A/N: So these aren't official chapters per say, just an extra to the story that explores the yandere dynamic I'm trying to put forth! Also, I love listening to romantic music while writing for this 🩵 Until I finish Chapter 2, enjoy!

Synopsis: Being a noble meant that marriage was a chess game, not an affair of love. Unfortunately for the pristine Balthazar family of Fontaine, Y/N has long been enamored with love and sought it out before their priorities. After her grey, boring time of courtesy and fake niceness, she meets Duke Wriothesley, who makes her yearn for the first time in her life, and it's the same for him. Threatened by the idea of losing this first, it seems they'll stop at very little to be together...

Warnings: Obsessive yandere language, graphic details in Wriothesley's.

Tag: @yue-caelum

From: Lady Y/N Balthazar - Balthazar Vacation Manor, Belleau Region, Fontaine

To: Duke Wriothesley of Meropide - Fortress of Meropide, Liffey Region, Fontaine

Dearest Duke,

I am not quite sure how to begin or structure my thoughts, so I hope you forgive me if this letter turns out messy. It's barely been 24 hours since our fateful meeting and I finally got some privacy. I should interest you in the fact that today's tea is Earl Grey. I'm having it right now, accompanied by a chocolate and strawberry mille-feuille. If you're ever feeling bold, I'd recommend this combination. Quite the contrast on the taste buds.

I realized that even with our cadence and how we enjoyed chatting together, there's still so much to know. How have you been doing? I'm presuming you're at the Fortress. How is life there? How do you spend your days there? Is it a lot of work? You told me a bit of the nurse. Sigewinne, if I recall correctly. Does she have a lot of patients? And what tea do you drink when you're feeling so tired and done with the world? (I'm partly asking this one for myself. Some days are like that.).

Though I must say, since Liffey is a bit far from Romaritime or the Court's region, you must have a good teleportation waypoint. Belleau is far, too, but by Focalors' name it is enjoyable. It's quiet, lush and lovely. The water is so nice to swim in too. I find that regular swimming is one of the most beautiful parts of my day. I might be heading into more dangerous territory saying this, but I believe you'd enjoy it a lot if I took you with me. If you had a day off and I showed you around, we could then swim in one of the lakes. It's so refreshing and fun, and a good break from the city.

Don't get me wrong; I love its bustle and life. But I know when we return, I'm going to have to look over these boring nobles' declarations, and meet with them more often. Speaking of which, I'm sorry to sound so forward, but... Well, are you interested in carrying this further?

I'd like to tell you something about my worldview. As you know, I read a lot, but last night I couldn't get into the 'why' due to mother's timing. As a child, I felt strangely bored with existence, maybe to a worrying point. That would explain my parents' fretting. I liked the dance and violin lessons, but there was something about my books that gave my gray life a bit of color. Unfortunately, having to come back to real life was a painful must. There were times where I thought to myself: "Is this really life? Boring, plain, and feeling wrong for watching everyone's intense reactions while I derived joy from so few things?". I didn't even want to think about my future as I become a woman. This was all before we met.

Ah, Wriothesley! I've been imagining it over and over in my head! I even stood outside in the cold and closed my eyes and pretended you were right next to me... Imagine my pain when I confronted reality, mixed with the excitement I felt remembering you! Even now, I can't stop kicking my feet as I write this. For the very first time, I was proven wrong. I was mistaken about life, and who said mistakes were bad? After years of chasing perfection, believing it was beauty and goodness... Why, I might have committed the most beautiful fault in existence!

Will you please prove me wrong again? I know I might get greedy and stick to my old worldview, just for it to happen again. But I swear, I'll be good and I'll stop. I just want to feel my entire body and soul rattling in excitement once more. And you're the only one that happens with.

Mother and Father are planning another social, soon after we return to the Court's region. My understanding says you're not often social, so if you don't want any part of it (or even, if I'm being too intense), discard this letter. I must go now, but if you're as invested as I, I will be awaiting a response. And if Celestia is kind, I will be open for more. I'll be open for anything if it's with you.

Yours truly,

Lady Y/N Balthazar

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Duke Wriothesley of Meropide - Fortress of Meropide, Liffey Region, Fontaine

To: Lady Y/N Balthazar - Balthazar Vacation Manor, Belleau Region, Fontaine

To my cherished Lady,

I would like to start off by expressing my most feverish thanks, for reasons beyond enumeration. You taking the time to send me this lovely letter is the least of them. It is generally good form for a Duke to answer quick when he can, but I was so overjoyed with your letter's contents, I re-read it many times to take in all the joy you graced me with. I was also very touched with your personal confiance in me, so I'm also writing to return the favor.

First off, do you know how much I yearn to hear about your day, down to the little details? You talked a good deal about Belleau. I didn't care much about that region before, but now? All I've been thinking about is those fresh waters and woods you praised so highly. The only imagination I entertained was you, holding my hand, whispering that there were no nosy gossipers or greedy parents. Just the two of us, and the lake was all ours to swim in until we couldn't.

If it makes you laugh, I thought about it so much, I almost mistakenly wrote some prisoners' region tab as Belleau. Had Sigewinne not been near, the administrative mistake would have been a pain to fix. Are you laughing? I hope for it with all my heart.

And I want to know more. I want to know whether Earl Grey is your favorite, or you're only taking it because it's been brewed at that time. I want to know which chocolate you like best. Which books you're currently reading, and why you're so interested in lycanthropes without a hint of discrimination. Will you tell me more? If we get the chance to talk with less barriers, will you enlighten me with you?

After getting to know your old worldview, I question just how alike we are. It's easy for two people to share superficial interests. But when one feels so dissected, so naked knowing about another's deeper life and secrets, you can't help but question whether Celestia really does link souls. Whether you once knew them, or whether fate can be so perfect to send such a person your way. I'm sure you felt terrified writing it. Your mailbox may be private, but who knows when your family feels nosy and reads it? You know of the risks that come with such correspondence, especially as a maiden. Despite that, you didn't throw it into the trash. You wrote it, and sent it to me, letting me know about you. You may have just intoxicated me, and now I feel like I might die if that is all I know of you.

As respect to this, I'll confide in you, only it may be a little graphic. "If you feel queasy after this, feel free to end our correspondence here."... Is what I wish I could say with full honesty, because after that night, I'm not sure whether I can really be okay with that outcome.

I used to commit crime, both petty and serious. Such was the life of an orphan at the time. Being little fish wasn't an option; You had to be the top dog or get eaten alive. I opted for the first, even if it landed me in prison later on. My convictions range quite a bit, but once I grew up, I renounced crime. Even insignificant things. I wanted to leave that behind me.

Forget the obvious stealing sweets from the kitchen. When I saw that slimy Duke Arya talking to you, touching your shoulder, acting as if he always knew you and your wedding was tomorrow, I never felt the urge to murder as much as I did that night. The reasons behind my old violent crimes felt so small next to the ugly sight in front of me. You clearly didn't want him, but he kept going, as if you'd magically change your mind and be into slimeheads like him. How dare he be the reason you were pulled apart from me? Where does he get the gall to take you, act like you're owed to him if your parents decided?

How I wanted to end his pathetic standing, laughing, breathing. How I wanted to use my vision and punch his head out into an ice block, then freezing his wrangling body so he wouldn't mess up the carpet. How I wanted to lunge at him, bite, claw and make a bloody mess out of him. What did it matter if I perpetuated half-wolf stereotypes, when he was doing this? Which would hurt him more? Only one idea stopped me: You might not react to a show of violence so well. Oh, if I traumatized you, I'd never forgive myself. Being sent back to jail would be too light a punishment for a beast like that.

Please don't worry about transport, or ask about my attendance. I'm determined to attend that social. I'm so happy you told me about this in advance; I'm going to be seeing you, in all your radiance and beauty that make the world pale. So long as that happens, all is well for now. In the meantime, I'm adding some final touches to my declaration, and eagerly waiting for our next meeting, and hopefully the time I can freely take you into my arms, kiss you and prove the both of us wrong about everything.

With all the love I can hold,

Duke Wriothesley

[lazerv4]

Thoughts on Total Forgiveness

Just my raw thoughts not a review or anything

Total Forgiveness starts with Ally Beardsley and Grant O’Brian pitching the show they are about to embark on to Sam Reich their at the time President of Original Content at CollegeHumor (now CEO of Dropout). The pitch is simple, student debt is a cripplying problem and they came up with the accordion method, what if instead of many years of suffering under their loans they could instead make the suffering happen in 4 months and pay their debt as they gamble on challenges between the two of them for money which the show would award weekly. Sam hesitates but greenlights the show much to the delight of Grant and Ally who get right to work on the first challenges which end up being Grant has to interview a lawyer specializing on student debt while covered in leeches and Ally has to interview an ex partner about what went wrong while they eat the spiciest food Grant can find. Afterwards we see the actual challenges go through as Grant does his assigned interview while bleeding profusely and Ally has what can only be derived as a cringe nightmare of an experience with their ex eating thai so spicy they almost throw up, then when they are both done we see them together, they both look like they’ve been through hell and that is just the first episode.

Episode 2 begins a little bit meaner with Ally getting an Oompa Loompa makeover and getting their driver’s license renovated while Grant wears a dog shock collar for barking the entire day which leads to him spending the day mute, this is where we start to see the main dynamics of the show develop with Ally embracing the horribleness and Grant trying his best to have fun with it but struggling a bit.

Episode 3 is a kinder episode to Grant with him simply going camping which apparently he hates, meanwhile Ally is buried alive for an entire day in a sort of sensory deprivation coffin while they are still in the office.

Episode 4 meanwhile has Grant performing a cringe inducing stand up show purposely sabotaged to be terrible with the caveat that if a joke doesn't land he has to say “it’s all love” which just makes it so much worse, on the flipside Ally has to publish an excerpt from their teenage diary, a move which severely backfires on Grant as it seems like a growing experience for Ally that improved them as a person all things considered, no suffering all money.

At this point not a single point has been lost and both Ally and Grant are giving their all to the challenges and still enjoying themselves to some extent since the point of the show is to compress suffering they do struggle but nothing too bad has happened yet, this is where that begins to change.

Episode 5 is one of the hardest things I’ve had to sit through. Grant gets the challenge of being locked in his studio apartment with 8 family members for a weekend which while I’m sure it was a nightmare, it doesn’t translate to tv. All’s challenge this week was to sing the United States national anthem at a minor league baseball game and to make it way worse, they apparently don’t even know the lyrics so they completely fucked it up and even have a random laugh in the middle of it, it’s the sort of horrible second hand embarrassment that is legitimately hard to endure and I have seen some people say this and another upcoming Ally challenge are borderline unwatchable because it’s just too cringe, but if you can get through it the series has more for you.

Episode 6 is the phobia episode where Grant must face needles and Ally must face snakes, for Grant he just has to inject himself so B12 with the alleged most painful needle which he does albeit it leads to one of my favorite gags when he says “I’ll be fine in 5 minutes” after he pulls the needle out only for the show to cut to him having a full panic attack with an oxygen mask. Grant won his challenge and valiantly faced his fear but as for Ally, well things would go different for them. Ally’s challenge involved that some night, any night at all, Grant would come in with a live snake and Ally would have to sleep with it on their bed. While Ally had been a very ambitious and fun loving contestant, this broke something and they just completely refused to engage with the snake and complete the challenge leading to the first loss and the domino effect which would shape the series into what it became.

Episode 7 is where challenges start to get unreasonable, with almost 4000 dollars on the line this contest had to get difficult so both Ally and Grant came up with this, Grant wanted Ally to spend their whole week piss drunk which at first Ally enjoyed and it annoyed everyone else but quickly it started getting to them and by the end of the week you can see their health suffer because of it and the remnants of a broken person just trying to finish the last day to claim the win, while Grant broke Ally’s body their mind seems unbreakable. As for Grant, Ally came up with a really strange and complicated challenge, basically Grant had to get an erection with no stimulation while being timed which ended in a really bizarre contraption so this could be shown without well showing Grant’s genitals. This challenge has been often called unreasonable and impossible by many people and to an extent it is but Grant still accepted it and attempted it as hard as he could, an attempt that proved unsuccessful leading to his first loss of the show.

As of now Grant has earned $10750 while Ally has $13250, as the gap starts to widen so do the challenges as the series starts to lead to it’s climax.

Episode 8 is the real turning point of the series with Ally getting the other famously cringe and unwatchable challenge in having to become a herbalife shill to her new roommates and do unreasonable actions Grant assigns via an earpiece to try and make them quit but their will somehow remained strong which showed how much fun Ally was having with this whole show as the chaotic person they are, meanwhile Grant was having a rough time. Ally’s challenge to Grant was to sell all his earthly possessions at a flea market and try to earn a thousand dollars which a some points seems maybe doable but very quickly while Grant still doesn’t realize it, it’s very clear to the viewer and to the crew that Grant won’t be able to accomplish this. He leaves this challenge defeated and returns to his empty apartment with now nothing to his name except around $600, not only did he lose the challenge but he also lost everything he had, this is where we first start to see how this show has damaged Grant and Ally’s friendship and also emotionally damaged Grant who seems barely still holding it together by the end of the episode which leads you wonder, how can this escalate further?

Episode 9 got mean, Grant challenged Ally to get a neck tattoo with the name of their new girlfriend who they've been dating for 2 months while Ally challenged Grant to shit in public as performance art (again his genitals are covered but chest up everyone can see him). The challenges this week feel very mean spirited and with Ally now being up $24250 to Grant’s $10750 things are heating up and they are starting to feel more like bitter rivals than loving friends doing a dumb show together. Going with Ally first while Sam seems hesitant to approve this challenge Ally wants to do it and still seems have fun with it as a big dumb joke even if it’s their first tattoo it’s just a gag to them and they don’t mind the embarrassment with them even bringing said gf to the parlor so they can watch the tattoo be made. Meanwhile Grant struggles, even before the exhibition opens we can already see he is stressed and uncomfortable, he doesn’t seem like he wants to do it but the money is too life changing to not go through with it so he presses on, he is notified that when he is done he can pull a string that will drop confetti to signify he has completed the challenge and so he gets on the toilet in front of a lot of people. The atmosphere is not tense, it’s closer to something sad and depressing, something akin to the feeling of exploiting someone and when Grant pulls the string and the confetti falls, you can’t help but feel awful, a big thing through this episode has been Siobhan (another dropout cast member) giving some advice to Grant and Ally separately about how to mend what they are breaking and she stays as everyone leaves to speak with Ally as Grant angrily prepares to go home. As Ally approaches to tell Grant everyone was an extra, the mood is again tense, he just replies he is “done for the day” and that it was “funny” as he just walks away checking with the crew really quick to see if he can leave and then just exiting the building silently. This episode seemed to be the tipping point for Grant and what would have ended their friendship with Ally as even with this the gap just widened and made everything seem worse and worse while making each other more antagonistic towards the other that while Ally had been taking as dumb fun, they had now realized was hurting Grant and something had to be done if this friendship was gonna survive this show, let alone a 10th episode.

Episode 10 is just titled “Finale” with no allusion to the challenges like all the previous episodes so you go on not exactly knowing what to expect. It begins with other dropout cast members talking about the strain this show has had on Ally and Grant before going into the challenge pitching part of the show where Ally is alone with the production crew struggling to even come up with something until they says they have a pitch and the show cuts to Grant alone with the crew as well, they try to check on Grant to see if he is ok and he clarifies he doesn’t blame anyone and he is not the victim of the show but he is struggling. He is not sure what to pitch except something horrible and life changing so he is gonna go through Ally’s challenge first, cut to Jess and Katie (dropout cast members) in Santa Monica, they have a letter for Grant that Ally wrote the challenge is just to enjoy the day at the beach with his friends while wearing a dumb outfit and to decompress the show a bit to see if maybe he has it in him to forgive them. The show cuts to a montage of Grant having fun for his $10k prize just hanging in the pier and doing dumb stuff with Jess and Katie.The mood is so different, so fun and afterwards Grant talks a bit about what the show has done to their friendship and how he is regretful Ally couldn’t be there with them before announcing he now knows what his challenge is and shot fades. We start the scene in a bar called “State Social House” that same night as Grant and Ally meet in the empty bar and Grant reveals the challenge is to have 3 mezcals with him, while they begin drinking they also talk about their sentiments regarding what the money has done to their friendship, the reminique about what they've been through and what living with debt has done to them, how they hope to remain friends after this and even hopefully for the rest of their lives as they approach the third drink to which Ally comments about prompting Grant (a seasoned bartender) to want to smell and check it’s profile, this leads Ally to telling Grant to just drink it and take the $10k and to make the gap smaller to which Grant replies that he can’t accept that, at this point Ally has made their choice so they drop the mezcal on the floor on the most shocking moment on the entire show. What is next is just pure friendship and love for the people around you. Grant starts crying and they hug in the sweetest moment in the show, this is the moment that turned around the show according to Sam in a “episode 11” interview. The show then cuts to Grant paying one of his loans and he becomes able to finally be able to start paying his loans instead of just interest, Ally also talks about their loan consolidation as the show begins to wrap and we get the final scene with is a small dinner they set up and the talk about everything they learned about loans and how they are designed to make people’s life worse before the show ends with a toast to it’s history and a tally of the remaining debt before finally saying goodbye one last time.

Total Forgiveness did eventually get a reunion episode 11 sort of podcast thing but that is mainly talking behind the scenes about how of the rails the show went and how it was almost cancelled before the final episode essentially redeemed the whole thing from feeling like like a dystopian torture system as well as how Ally and Grant expected Jackass but got something much deeper, something about the effects of debt on people, something like most of dropout special. Total Forgiveness may not be for everyone, it can be a hard show to sit through, but for those able to go through with it the way it develops as an allegory for its own themes is fantastic and beautiful and in some ways the only example of prestige reality tv I can think of. It is truly one of a kind and a beautiful little show that can’t and shouldn’t be replicated, it should stand as a monolith and be cherished for all it accomplished in showing the struggles of debt. Ally and Grant did something incredible that would only be possible at a platform like dropout and with how the show turned out and how it stands along with other titans at dropout they should be proud.

[aquaquadrant]

literally just zoomed through yalls htp au and i havent seen anyone talk about it but i find it SO interesting how Bravo, who is supposed to be the GOOD overworlder, is rather prideful and honestly just a dick while Tango, supposedly his EVIL counterpart, is just the sweetest guy. i cant imagine how Tango is derived from the worst parts of Bravo, if im understanding hels correctly. Tango is such a good person, while Bravo is rude to everyone with the worst attitude. it was just something i picked up so quickly. if the universe put him in hels in the first place, there must be a reason why the universe swapped his place with his overworld counterpart.

on another note! with the release of secret life, and what we've seen so far, how do you think htp!tango would fare in this new killing game? i cant help but imagine that with the entire gimmick being keeping secrets that he would be rather stressed, knowing he had hidden stuff from his friends already-- lying doesnt make him feel like a good person (but he isnt supposed to be that, some small part of him is whispering, knowing hes from hels, is all of the "bad" parts of bravo)

anyways! this is all i will be able to think of for the rest of the week /vpos and i hope you (and everyone who may be reading this at any given time) have a great rest of spooky month!

well THANK YOU this was a lovely message to receive, and i’m glad you’re enjoying the au ^^

i’ve talked a little bit about this here and there, but i’ll never pass up the chance to ramble more. there are a few key things about bravo and tango that make them different from the average overworld-hels pair.

ANALYSIS/RAMBLE BELOW

first off, most of what we’ve seen of tango has been set during double life, which is ten years after he escaped hels, so he’s had ten years of growth. we see very little of him before this, and in those scenes he’s got the benefit of being largely alone. the only player he interacts with is xisuma, who tango immediately realizes he needs to ‘trick.’ so his interaction with x in part one isn’t how tango would’ve interacted with virtually any other player in hels at that time.

we see from the flashback in part five that younger pre-hels tek tango was borderline feral- he chose to attack atlas on sight instead of trying to hide, or leave before he was seen, or even see why atlas was there. now, atlas wins him over fairly quickly because tango is young and naive and secretly craving positive interaction, but even in that brief interaction tango is a bit more prideful than his older self. that, of course, got beaten out of him at hels tek.

bravo, on the other hand, we follow closely during his ten years in hels. when he first arrives in part two, he’s a little snide and privately judgemental, sure, but he starts out perfectly decent towards timmy. he tries to maintain that civility and ‘niceness’ as he interacts with more and more hels players, but gradually loses his willpower as he gets beaten down and frustrated, even losing his temper. and after he fully snaps and gets his first kills, he all but abandons the notion of being ‘nice’, though privately he still thinks of himself as inherently better than hels players (atlas’s manipulation certainly doesn’t help matters, either).

but perhaps the biggest point is to look at what traits tango actually got from bravo, and that would be his rage. bravo is most similar to tango when he’s angry; his first little temper tantrum in part two is where it’s best illustrated, because all instances after that have been influenced by his time in hels. but you’ll notice that we have yet to see tango truly angry in the HTP series (he did revert back to an almost feral mindset when the ranch got attacked, but that was an instinctive defense mechanism. there was no conscious thought behind those decisions, and they were purely fueled by fear, not anger). that will be where his ‘hels’ really shines through.

there’s one other bravo trait amplified in tango that i haven’t revealed yet. it’s something that tango has figured out how to sort of ‘mask’ via other more acceptable coping mechanisms- if you can call it that- and actually forms a fairly significant part of his personality. stay tuned :3

as for secret life, it’d be a complicated situation for sure. on one hand, their goals are less outright malicious- just complete the tasks and try to survive (at least for now). in a way, it almost takes away accountability for their actions if they turn out to be harmful- “i had to, it was my secret task!” so that’s nice to fall back on. but still, tango would be very on edge. not only with the discomfort of having to lie to his friends, but never knowing if they’re lying to him, too. boi’s got them trust issues fr.

[clarinartiste]

Character analysis: the gargoyles as a reflection of Quasimodo

[This is based on the interpretation that the gargoyles are Quasimodo’s imaginary friends, and that their traits can give us some insight into Quasimodo and his own mind and personality]

Part Two: Hugo

Of the three gargoyles, Hugo is the most fun-loving. At the beginning, when Quasimodo looks out at the city below, Hugo says “Hey Quasi! What’s goin’ on? A fight? A flogging?” As we see later during Quasimodo’s humiliation during the Festival of Fools and Phoebus and Quasimodo in the gallows in the Court of Miracles scene, many of the Parisians derive pleasure from public displays of mockery, torment, degradation, and death. And it’s a reflection of history too, a lot of medieval people viewed these kinds of things as sources of entertainment for them.

Being as sensitive and caring as he is, Quasimodo most likely would NOT enjoy those kinds of public executions or displays of torture—in fact, I imagine they would disturb and horrify him. I think that Hugo saying this line is more of a generalization of what the people of Paris find entertaining, rather than what Quasi himself does.

However, what Quasimodo does find entertaining is the Festival of Fools. It’s a joyous celebration with bright colors, confetti, drinking, and merrymaking. Hugo enthusiastically says, “All right, all right! Pour the wine and cut the cheese!” Victor mentions, “Watching the Festival of Fools has always been the highlight of the year for Quasimodo,” and Laverne emphasizes Quasimodo’s long-standing desire to join the festivities, saying, “What good is watching a party if you never get to go?”

Quasimodo deeply craves fun. He clearly wants to be part of this celebration—to seek that kind of freedom and enjoyment with the Parisians. During the part where the gargoyles encourage Quasimodo to join the festival, they come up with different reasons that he should attend. Being his imaginary friends, I interpret this as Quasimodo trying to overcome his own doubts. Hugo juggles the wooden figures and exclaims that there will be “Wine, women, and song!” and “Bobbin’ for snails!” He says “Playin’ dunk the monk!” while dunking Victor with a bucket of water. It shows a cheeky, playful sort of attitude towards religious authority figures like monks, and it also reminds me of Clopin’s line “It’s the day we mock the prig and shock the priest” with his Frollo puppet.

(side note: I also wanted to bring up the part at the beginning where Victor chastises Hugo, “That’s what you get for sleeping with your mouth open” and Hugo sarcastically retorts, “Heheh… go scare a nun.” Also, encouraging Quasimodo to go to the festival, he quips, “No, the Pope. Of course, you!” while putting the wooden figure of a clergyman into Quasimodo’s mouth. This might be a bit of a stretch, but I read that Victor Hugo’s original book has some anti-clerical elements, as he felt disillusioned with the institution of the church at the time he was writing it.

Religion can be a very beautiful, inspiring, and wonderful thing. But unfortunately, some people will weaponize faith for their own personal ambitions, and corruption in churches and other religious institutions is a real issue. Perhaps Hugo the gargoyle lightly poking fun at these clerical figures is a subtle nod to that same concept in the book? After all, in this movie, Quasimodo is raised by a cruel man who claims that the horrific crimes he commits are all in the name of God. Even though Frollo is a judge and not an archdeacon in this adaptation, I feel like the point still stands)

Anyway, back to Hugo and his antics. He loves to have fun, acting unabashedly goofy and outrageous. He plays card games (“I’m losin’ to a bird!”) he crushes on Djali, and he messily eats food and smokes a sausage. Hugo is never afraid to get silly, which is especially prominent during “A Guy Like You.” Using things to imitate curly hair, getting dizzy and seeing double, dangling wooden figures in the gallows (some dark humor), acting as a barber and giving Quasi an over-the-top wig, grinning suavely while pretending to be the head of the muscular statue, getting his horns stuck, and dressing up like Esmeralda.

(look at Quasimodo’s amused smile here :)

Throughout the song, Hugo calls Quasimodo “kid” a lot as a reassuring, affectionate term, and he tries his best to hype him up and make him feel good. Quasimodo and the gargoyles bounce on a cloth like a trampoline, again showing Quasimodo’s strong desire to have fun.

Going back to the point about the Festival of Fools, and Quasimodo being fun-loving, it makes sense why he would want to join. The boisterous revelry, bright colors, singing, dancing, and hedonistic nature of the festival must be incredibly appealing for someone like him. Being isolated in the bell tower for twenty years has really taken a toll on him. His upbringing under Frollo is very strict and ascetic—the alphabet lesson emphasizing sin (abomination, blasphemy, contrition, damnation, eternal damnation)

When Quasimodo absentmindedly says “festival,” he betrays his true desires, and Frollo quickly notices. Realizing his slip-up, Quasimodo becomes more anxious and stutters, “F…f-forgiveness.” But Frollo sees right through him, and he presses, “You said… festival.”

With a look of regret and worry in his eyes, Quasimodo covers his face with his hands. He unsuccessfully tries to reason with Frollo, who swiftly and sternly shuts him down.

Hugo is loud and unapologetic—and, deep down, I think that this is what Quasimodo wishes he could be to Frollo. But Frollo has been an imposing figure to him all his life, and he does not feel like he can stand up to him (until the film’s climax)

I also wanted to point out Quasimodo’s internal resentment towards Frollo. At their lunch, when Frollo asks, “Shall we review your alphabet today?” Quasimodo looks down and mutters, “Oh…yes, Master, I would like that very much.” His tone has a very subtle bite of sarcasm, hinting at his bitterness. But Frollo doesn’t pick up on it, and he continues speaking to Quasimodo as normal. In fact, I don’t think it occurs to Frollo to even consider that Quasimodo is being snarky here.

In the grape scene, when Frollo realizes that Quasimodo helped Esmeralda escape, he loses his temper and thunders, “You idiot! That wasn’t kindness, it was cunning!” He violently grabs Quasimodo by the tunic, shaking him and yelling “Think, boy! Think of your mother!” Then, after calming down and clearing his throat, he says, “But what chance could a poor, misshapen child like you have against her heathen treachery…”

With his condescending attitude, Frollo consistently underestimates Quasimodo’s intelligence. He treats him as though he is lesser—and, fundamentally, I don’t think he really sees Quasimodo as a person. Frollo believes that Quasimodo is incapable of thinking for himself, and so he imposes his own beliefs on him. In “Out There,” he sings, “I who keep you, teach you, feed you, dress you” while holding Quasimodo’s face, demanding that Quasimodo be grateful towards him. Ultimately, Frollo assumes that Quasimodo isn’t capable of free thought or free will. And, in his own cruel and twisted sense of self-righteousness, he sees himself as a “savior” to someone he perceives as below him, devaluing Quasimodo because of his physical deformity.

And, VERY understandably, Quasimodo resents Frollo for this. Even if he does not outwardly show it much, he has been accumulating a sense of bitterness for all the years that Frollo has mistreated him. I believe that Hugo is representative of Quasimodo’s desire to disobey Frollo. When encouraging him to go to the festival, he says with a mischievous smile, “Who says ya gotta ask? You sneak out… and ya sneak back in.”

“You could wear a disguise! Just this once. What Frollo doesn’t know can’t hurt ya.” Suggesting that Quasimodo not tell Frollo about his escapade, he encourages him to assert his independence.

Later, in the dialogue leading up to “A Guy Like You,” Hugo holds a deck of cards and says, “If I know Esmeralda, she’s three steps ahead of Frollo and ask out of harm’s way.” He holds up a three of hearts when he says the word “three,” and flips it. When he says “Frollo,” he holds up the joker card.

The implication here being that Frollo is a joker, a buffoon, a fool. It’s a subtle and impudent jab at him that suggests that while Quasimodo might fear Frollo for how controlling and cruel he is, he doesn’t entirely respect him as a figure of authority. Through his imaginary friend Hugo, Quasimodo lightly makes fun of Frollo as a way to “get back” at him, coping with how horrible he is.

I also wanted to explore how Hugo reflects Quasimodo’s feeling towards Phoebus. After Quasimodo forces Phoebus to leave the cathedral, Hugo congratulates Quasi and says, “The nerve of him! Snoopin’ around here, trying to steal your girl!” and “Way to go, lover boy!”

He really encourages Quasimodo and raises his hopes of being with Esmeralda. Later, when talking about Esmeralda, Victor says, “Knights in shining armor certainly aren’t her type”—alluding to Phoebus—and Hugo adds, “And those guys are a dime a dozen! But you, you’re one of a kind.”

In “A Guy Like You,” he constantly references how Quasimodo is unique. He sings, “A guy like you, she’s never known, kid” and “You’ve got a look, that’s all your own, kid.” Hugo also tries to elevate Quasimodo’s self-esteem by comparing him to other guys (read: Phoebus). He knocks around wooden figurines hanging from ropes, singing,

“Those other guys that she could dangle / All look the same from every boring point of view!” (also, this might be kind of a stretch, but the figures being blonde and having shoulder-length hair might be a little reference to Phoebus too haha)

Hugo positively affirms again to Quasimodo, “You’re a surprise from every angle / Mon Dieu above, she’s gotta love a guy like you” (side note: I love the ringing of the bells on that second line, something about it sounds so sweet :)

Immediately after the song, Esmeralda brings an injured Phoebus to the bell tower and she asks Quasimodo to hide him. The kiss scene happens, and Quasimodo quietly cries, broken-hearted. But he still helps hide Phoebus, and after the grape scene with Frollo, Quasimodo expresses doubt about himself, bitterly saying, “She already has her knight in shining armor, and it’s not me.”

But his compassion wins over—he cares about Esmeralda so much that it overpowers his resentment towards Phoebus. Of course, he still feels really hurt after seeing Esmeralda and Phoebus kiss, and so he acts bitter and quarrelsome around Phoebus. I really appreciate this because I think it makes Quasimodo more real and believable as a character. Yes, he is a very sweet and sensitive person, but he’s also capable of being jealous and petty, and I feel like that contrast makes him really interesting.

Phoebus pats Quasimodo’s back and asks, “Truce?” After hesitating, Quasimodo says, “Well… okay,” with a forceful pat on Phoebus’ back (right where the arrow struck him)

Phoebus grimaces in pain, and as they head off to follow the map, Quasimodo utters a simple “sorry.” Phoebus grumbles, “No you’re not.” It’s a funny exchange, and another example of Quasimodo being bitter. Like I said before—although he is an overall kind and gentle person, he also has moments of spite, and I think these add some wonderful nuance to his character.

In conclusion, as an imaginary friend, Hugo reflects Quasimodo’s sense of humor, his fun-loving nature, his desire for independence, and his potential for irreverence. While Quasimodo is overall a very loving and gentle person, he also harbors resentful feelings towards Frollo, and a grudge against Phoebus (the latter fading away as the two develop a stronger trust and friendship :)

[bropunzeling]

5, 12, 24!

5. first sentence of the fifth paragraph of an unpublished WIP

It’s July.

(😂)

12. a trope you’re really into right now

i have had SUCH a hankering for full-blown aus recently! like i love a canon or canon-adjacent fic but there's just something about sticking your little guys in space or a magical fantasy world or regency england that is really appealing to me rn. something with some decent plot and of COURSE top notch world building and maybe an arranged marriage or two. idk i want one soooooo bad

24. how do you recharge when you’re not feeling creative?

i try to make myself do other stuff! this year has really been a, like, rebase year for me; i'm not writing nearly as much as i have for the past couple years because of work and then wedding planning and because my current concept can be a slog (who decided writing a slow burn was a good idea. who was that loser.). and it's taken a bit to like. remind myself that that's fine? that 2022 and 2023 were honestly unsustainable? that my self-worth does not derive from writing 150 to 200k a year? so ive tried to (a) be gentle with myself and (b) remind myself that there's other things i can be doing to get at those creative pleasure centers. taking up knitting has definitely helped. so has working on reading more. so has playing video games! idk im trying to balance out my hobbies so i don't have that kind of manic sense of being all in on one particular thing (which was writing for a while) and then so i can enjoy writing when i do feel up for it.

[grimgiblog]

Using this blog to collect animation references and post about our hyperfixations. Surprise surprise I really like Victor Saltzpyre as a written character, their voice actor does a phenomenal job, and the Witch Hunter Captain class is just really fun to play.

I will complain and say that the warhammer fanbase being filled with fascists who don't have the braincells to comprehend subtext and parody makes things a bit of a slog.

I will also complain that Saltzpyre is the fruitiest character alive, whose VA developed his voice from gay actor Kenneth Williams. 15:50 in this interview stream.

"And he was very you know, very camp, very gay. And in the days when you weren't allowed to be. When it was illegal. The weird thing it happened in America as well, was it was alright to be kind of camp and you know sound a bit fae and a bit kind of....you know. Gay. But you weren't allowed to be. So homosexuality was illegal. But being funny and camp was okay. And Kenneth Williams used to do this thing where he'd be; at one minute kind of completely London and then go into a whole posh sort of voice like that. And talk to any englishman and they go: yeah man you're just channeling Kenneth Williams."

I notice that in the fanbase where Victor's character, his gay way of being is sort of skewed and interpreted as him being just silly. Lot of meme shit has him as this straight pussy slayer gangster. How they kind of overide such mannerisms as just him being funny and camp. Not that he isn't funny or silly on his own right, but I reflect on how if this very same character was revealed as gay a lot of people who enjoy him probably wouldn't anymore. How the games themselves are littered with both homophobes and lgbt individuals. I think a lot about censorship.

And I think about straight interpretations of the character, which while there are some good bits of fanfic--quite a few of them derive on the nonconsensual. On unhealthy male and female dynamics. I also think of the lack of chemistry involved there. How with Sienna it's considered a "forbidden love" sort of deal, even though, it is in fact: a straight couple. It's not to say that the pairing can't be done well, and not to admonish those who do like it. (It's a dumb funny rat game and none of this matters in the grand scheme of things ship who you want I'm just an old grumpy cuss.) and it will probably be confirmed by the devs to be cannon anyways. But I always saw Victor and Kruber, two soldiers of the empire, one of polytheism and monotheism, sir and subordinate dynamics to be more interesting and barely written about. I want to make more stories and characters following their relationship. I want to write about gay 40 year old men, puritans who haven't experienced love, and big old male sluts who have shagged and been shagged more times than they can count. Of power and subservience and breaking the gender binaries. Of healing and of faggy banter.

There's a lot to explore and writing about them and drawing them has helped me figure out a lot about my own characters I want to write about. As well as what I enjoy and my own homosexuality as well. A lot to ruminate on. Just goes to show what a good game with great writers and actors can do lol.

[bluegekk0]

Regarding your recent vent post I can understand why you might start to have many of these thoughts about your art/AU stuff. But I honestly don’t really think it’s because of general disinterest of your content in particular as it is the HK fandom itself kinda getting smaller as I’ve been recently noticing. This AU of yours is up there for one of the most passionate and overall best representation of a ship I’ve seen in a while. I find it kind of hard to see people get bored of this, but just know whenever you’re feeling like nobody cares about your AU or art anymore there are many people who truly enjoy what you put out and make our days a little more enjoyable.

And about your section talking about your negative experience with going through a possible autism revelation kind of hit me close to home. It can be a VERY frustrating and stressful time realizing that you may think something is “wrong” with the way you think, act or carry out daily activities. I myself struggled with this shit during high school and I always felt like the most out of place weirdo in the room, and I still occasionally feel like this at times. If I can give you any piece of advice it would be to honestly try your best to accept the card you’ve been dealt with, and to try to push the boundaries of your disability and see what you are capable of, trust me there are times that I thought I couldn’t do something because I believed I would be too stupid or awkward tackle it. But with enough motivation and courage you’d be surprised of what you could do.

I do hope this ask helped you in any way or at least made you not feel completely worthless because in reality you aren’t.

Hmm yeah I definitely noticed that a lot of people moved on to other things. I guess I don't really think of that most of the time since I've also distanced myself quite a bit from the HK community. Thinking now, maybe the fact that I stopped tagging my art with Hollow Knight contributes to this? But at the same time, that feels right since I don't even really see the game and the AU on the same wavelength anymore, they're two different entities to me (with the AU almost leaning into OC territory; it's more like an adaptation of the game rather than something that derives from it). Plus I have this small fear that it'll attract people who know nothing about the AU and will misinterpret my versions of the characters in tags/replies (it happened before which is why it's something I'm sensitive about). I guess I'll have to see it from this perspective more and just start expecting less people to see it if I continue to avoid tagging it as HK. Maybe a "Hollow Knight AU" tag would work as a compromise? I'll think about it.

But I got carried away there, sorry. I'm really grateful for your input. For me it wasn't as much realizing that something is wrong that messed with me, I had this suspicion for a long time, way before I even considered that I might be autistic. It's mostly that I'm afraid my suspicione are wrong and I'm somehow faking the symptoms, even if many of them that I read and heard about feel very relatable to me in a lot of ways. But I appreciate your advice nonetheless, and I'll try to keep it in mind. I'll have to, now that I'm finishing uni, even if it seems terrifying.

Thank you a lot for reaching out, it means a lot ❤️

[technomaestro]

Astrology asks: sun, aries, taurus, sagittarius, aquarius, pisces, 9H

sun ⇢ name 5 things you like about yourself?

My beard, my luck, my ability to make a fantastic meal for folks, my determination, and my ability to tell a great story for folks around a table when I GM a game of D&D or some other TTRPG.

aries ⇢ are you an impulsive person?

Absolutely not lmao. While I would love to have more "Fuck it, we ball." moments in my life, I'm way too methodical and way to anxiety ridden to not be constantly over-analyzing things and planning and prepping for stuff; I have pretty bad ADHD so if I don't do that, my life kinda falls apart a bit.

taurus ⇢ what's your favorite food?

I'm a major foodie so this is a VERY rough one to answer, but there's always been a special place in my heart and in my stomach for Shepherd's Pie and the various Cottage Pie derivatives. I had one in Australia with lamb and roo and it was a formative experience for me as a kid.

sagittarius ⇢ what places would you like to travel in the future?

This is a wild one because I'm actually like, in a position to think about this in actuality but I've had this longstanding goal to take a few weeks and hop across the Atlantic over to Europe and travel around it, seeing ancient sites and the Northern Lights. But I also want to visit other places, like go back to Australia now that I'm an adult on my own and can explore on my own, or see places that fascinated me as a kid like Machu Picchu. But honestly, I'd like to go visit the people I've met online and actually see them in person - while seeing history is important to me, so is seeing the people that have made life worth living.

aquarius ⇢ do you consider yourself an antisocial or social person?

By all standards I'm relatively anti-social. It's not that I don't enjoy talking to people, but I'm incredibly introverted and prone to not talking to folks for so long because I'll not have the energy to respond or miss their text or my ADHD kicks in so I forget to reply and then it becomes way too long to talk to them again. I'm working on it though.

9H ⇢ what languages ​​would you like to learn?

Italian, Portuguese, Korean, and Old Norse are the four that I've been toying with learning for a while. Progress is... slow with them however with how busy I've been.

[cool-island-songs]

Wemdy and cragggg for the ask game owo

thank you for the ask, rooster (from this ask game)! just answering wendy here because i got a separate ask for craig and last time i tried posting this with both wendy and craig it crashed the editor >:(

1: sexuality headcanon - i headcanon her as mostly straight, maybe with a bit of repression about the parts of her that aren't totally due to having been called a lesbo so much growing up? that's not totally fixed, just the way i generally see her at the moment

2: otp - i really like tolkiendy after TFBW bc i found their combat dialogue so cute (he's really simping for her ;-;). that might be my favorite wendy ship, but i'm not sure i endgame her with anyone atm

3: brotp - bebe up to a point. i just know bebe made the saltiest facebook post after wendy couldn't take the MLM shilling anymore and finally blocked her. i do like wendy and kyle and tolkien friendly in high school

4: notp - i don't really have any, but i do feel she can sometimes bring a very serious or overly mature vibe to some ships. i don't think she has to tho? i have really enjoyed what little i have written of her (the way she stresses certain words when pissy is rly fun to write lol) and i imagine my feelings and preferences will develop the more i write her

5: first headcanon that pops into my head

her school supply game is insane. this binch got highlighters in every color of the rainbow

6: favorite line from this character

wendy wtf 😭

7: one way in which I relate to this character

i relate to her quite a bit tbh. i was also a precocious preteen feminist with debate kid tendencies

8: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character

her tfbw ultimate is a FLASH MOB??? in the year 2017????

it's not chiefly embarrassing exactly, but i don't love the way the girls were made into these adult liberal feminist women via the trump/garrison/cartman parallels in season 20. there's a general overmaturity to the girls too, and i miss when they were allowed to be silly and goofy. the most genuine joy i have derived from a girl character's actions in recent years is 100% millie going into the principal's office with that ridiculous crying act in "pajama day"

9: cinnamon roll or problematic fave?

she's very earnest and wants to do the right thing and, as with kyle, i feel like there often comes a point where reality or cartman throws a wrench in her liberal idealism. she's better at rolling with the punches than kyle though imo, and will back down when need be. she's willing to lose the battle to win the war, so idk if that's cinnamon roll status exactly, but i find her very clever and formidable

that said, i like her problematic too. she has some more intensely jealous and egocentric moments earlier on in the show, and while i wouldn't write her that way entirely, it can be fun to let some of that behavior shine through when she's really pushed. what can i say.. i support women's wrongs

[theoldhempfarmer]

Cannabis is the profession we have chosen...

This is a bit redundant, The Old Hemp Farmer is enjoying a cup of Indonesian organic coffee and noshing on Siriana Costa Rican Cacao fortified with Tennessee homegrown Cannabis extract while stumbling into today’s blurb. Although yours truly has had 10 days to digest Tennessee Cannabis bill HB0403 (I strongly suggest that everyone associated with Cannabis in our state memorize Amendment SAO467) and more than a few phone calls, I’m not sure what to think. TOHF has observed a plethora of states as they rollout their Medical and Recreational Cannabinoid programs and the Tennessee Hemp Derived Cannabinoid program is totally unique. You see in other states whether Medical or Recreational (Tennessee’s Cannabis law is a loosely regulated, quasi Recreational system where the majority of people are buying D8THC/D9THC products do so to get high not for a medical condition) started their Cannabis programs pretty well from scratch. In regards, to state run Medical or Recreational programs, basically you have Cannabis Bureaucrats learning to walk and chew gum at the same time. So if your legal Cannabis program rolls out extremely rocky (think Washington State I-502) and it takes a year and half to get functional, no harm, no foul. You see, there aren’t that many Producers and Retail Shops yet and from the get-go the State knows who the Cannabis players are because you have to pay to play. So its so much easier for the Cannabis Bureaucrats to communicate the tweaks to the rules as you go because even totally dedicated and well thought out Cannabis programs don’t roll out smoothly. There are Cannabis laws as they are written and there are Cannabis laws as they are implemented, seldom are they the same.

Now, let’s take the curious case of Tennessee’s firstborn Cannabis law, HB0403 and how the State will have to implement their regulations from the opposite direction. Instead of licensing Producers and Retailers before they can start their Cannabis Businesses, the State of Tennessee will first have to figure out exactly how many businesses are producing and/or Selling Hemp Derived Cannabinoids in their fine state. Seriously, the Tennessee Department of Revenue and the Department of Agriculture have no idea if there are 2,000 or 3,000 Hemp Derived Cannabis Businesses. The powers that be don’t have clue and presently, there is no way for the TDA or DOR to know, unless you are serving hot food or have certified Kitchen. The Old Hemp Farmer would bet folding money that 75% of the people that are selling Hemp Derived Cannabinoids don’t know that they are suppose to start collecting Excise Tax starting July 1, 2023 on all Retail sales. If they do know of the Excise Tax, many have no idea how to implement the rascal. So now the state of Tennessee faces the Herculean task of finding out who is in the game so that the TDA can start enforcement of HB0403 because if you don’t start shutting down businesses and muscling people for Excise Tax, you ain’t got no law. Right now the TDA and DOR are understaffed with no real mechanism to find the people involved much less “educate” them to the new Cannabis World Order. The truth be told that any attempt to regulate Cannabinoids with HB0403 as it is presently written will be arduous with unknown amounts of collateral damage. Usually I’m quick to offer solutions but I really don’t know how Tennessee will make this work. Someone asked me yesterday with this new law, why Lee and I continue to do this? Only thing I could tell him “Cannabis is the profession we have chosen.” After all of these years, we realize Cannabis has always been an extremely hard way to make an easy living. Anyway as always, Hemp Dawgs and Hemp Puppies keep one eye on the weather and the other eye on the market.

Visit our Tennessee Homegrown web site to try our great products: https://www.tnhomegrown.com

Our Podcast - Full Contact Cannabis: https://fullcontactcannabis.podbean.com

The Wife's web site: https://www.theoldhempfarmerswife.com

[shegoesbyjoy]

i've been thinking a lot about why Disco Elysium in particular has touched the core of my being in a way no other piece of media has and i think there are several factors at play here. this is half a review and half me dumping my various thoughts on this game ever since i finished it a couple months ago.

AS A VIDEO GAME ITSELF—i've been trying to identify what exactly it is about certain games that causes them to rise above all the rest that i've played, and i have come to the realization that in all of them, combat is usually one of the least consequential things on that list. i love Hades, have dumped 160+ hrs into it, but despite it being a very combat-heavy game with extremely tight controls that i do find truly satisfying, that is not what kept me playing. it's the characters, the art, the story, the world-building, the music...

similarly, while the combat in Horizon Zero Dawn is really quite fun, what really charmed me about it was its spunky, badass protagonist and fascinating mechanical creature designs, in addition to the story set in a world that captivated me from beginning to end. Night in the Woods took my breath away with its emotional & poignant writing told through a unique & delightful art style. i didn't even finish The Last of Us, but Ellie's moment with the giraffes is ingrained in my brain—and of course i went ahead and watched someone else play through to the end so i could enjoy the rest of the story without having to slog through zombie fights myself. so while i always appreciate well-executed combat in games (and have given up on games that do it too poorly), it's never what keeps my interest.

SO. what happens when you take combat out of a game entirely, and absolutely excel at everything else? you see where this is going.

THE CHOICE OF MEDIUM—the fact that DE's story was told through a video game (as opposed to a book, a show, a movie, etc.) is absolutely crucial, because of your active role in the consumption of said story. i think that's what gives some of its scenes such devastating emotional impact. watching this train wreck of a character that you happen to be playing blurt out the most unhinged responses despite your best attempt to salvage the situation, coming to terms with the awful reality of what's in front of you at the same time Harry does, seeing the immediate results of your choices as well as slowly realizing how your choices affect the story long-term as the pieces start coming together... all of this creates an immersive experience that is unparalleled. the game doesn't take self-insert so seriously that the protagonist ~can be anyone~ (Harry's characterization is, in fact, very strong and well-established) but there's absolutely no way a Disco Elysium book or show would have the same impact as me having to progress the story by fucking around and finding out.

GAME SPOILERS AHEAD—combining these two aspects of DE helps to explain what made the tribunal the MOST TENSE i've ever felt playing a video game. this is essentially as close to combat as you'll get in this game. you've just spent the last 20-30 hours becoming very familiar with the mechanics of the game with regards to the dice rolls. you become accustomed to the fact that most skill checks are white so you can come back to them, and that red checks are comparatively rare. enter the tribunal: suddenly you have several very high stakes red checks in a row. you can't leave. you can't try an individual check again if you fail. the story itself has been alluding to this very moment throughout the game. people are DYING, and the lives of those that remain, including your own, are on the line. your earlier decisions have come to a head.

it was 3 am when i got to this point in the game, and the reality of the situation i found myself in shook off every bit of sleepiness i'd been feeling up to this point—my eyes were wide open and my heart was pounding.

i know many people who play video games derive a lot of satisfaction from perfecting mechanics, learning patterns, or deducing the weaknesses of a difficult boss. for me, this satisfaction gets dwarfed by the frustration of having to spend far too long dealing with it in the first place. triggering a boss battle oddly takes me out of the story, because it feels like a very marked switch from "being the protagonist in the game's world" to "sitting on my couch playing a Video Game", where the same repetitive action of "killing the enemy" becomes my goal, no matter what the game is.

by contrast, the tribunal was very much a continuation of the story with each skill check having immediate results on how that story plays out. no other moment in the game was quite like it, and i had no idea how this sequence of events was going to go, so every action felt extremely fraught. i was on the edge of my seat in a way no other game has gotten me to feel, because the weight of this encounter felt monumental in DE. and of course, this is where you come across an iconic skill check where you find out exactly how much your previous choices matter...

i was so damn nervous during this check i probably would've cried if i failed it lmao

FUCK YOUR EXPECTATIONS—this leads me to the other thing that's got me smitten with this game: the subversion of expectations. dialogue options are never written so transparently as to have a "correct" answer, and trying to stay neutral with my answers got me a well-deserved smack in the head in the form of a brutal burn about the dangers of centrism. we have 3-dimensional characters that make you growl in frustration one moment and your heart swell in the next, descriptions that make you marvel at both the beauty and ugliness of humanity, situations where you feel crushed by sadness and dread then want to cry tears of happiness because despite all of it, there is still magic left in the world. it's also so goddamn funny. this game is fucking hilarious—and what is comedy, what is a punch line but the subversion of an audience's expectations established during the setup?

Disco Elysium is a game that far exceeds the sum of its parts. it excels in its storytelling, its voice acting brings incredible life to said phenomenal writing, its gorgeous painterly art style is visually compelling, its music is flawlessly incorporated to full effect, it's intellectually stimulating and fascinating philosophically, and as a murder mystery (oh yeah that's what this game's premise is, right?) it's just plain fun to reveal clue after clue while pondering theories as to what the heck is going on. these individual components come together to create a multi-dimensional piece of media that's deeply human, yet fantastical and absurd. it's uncomfortably relatable while inspiring empathy for even the most unfamiliar of experiences.

for instance, i have no personal experience with alcoholism or addiction, but boy do i sure know what it's like to have a compulsion to apologize at every opportunity for simply existing—to want to cease existing, period. i don't know what it's like to grow up and live in a post-soviet country yet the experience in-game felt as vivid as ever, inextricable from the story's identity. i felt a pang of pained recognition in Kim's complicated relationship with his race as diaspora, and found myself wishing i had the ability to respond even half as effectively as he did with the Racist Lorry Driver during my own past run-ins with racist assholes. this game has caused me to think more deeply about my own politics, my relationships, the world around me, the power of art, the role of capitalism, beauty, hope... even what it means to be alive.

A CHANGED PERSON—a realization i came to a while ago while talking to a friend was that almost all of the media i had enjoyed up to that point shared a theme of escapism in one way or another. there have been many moments in my life where i wished to be somewhere else. to be someone else. i immersed myself in stories where the fantasy of it seemed so much better than the reality of my own life. this game forced me to reckon with where i am, who i am. and not only that, it encouraged me to be accepting and loving of the here and now, despite every single flaw i seemed to be obsessed with pointing out. it made it abundantly clear that constantly running away was not a viable way of living, and that flaws were not a reason to give up. "something beautiful is going to happen"—i should very damn well let it.

it's not an exaggeration to say this game has changed me irrevocably, and the fact that this impossible piece of art even exists in this world feels like a miracle. i'm so grateful that i got to experience it.

[littlefreya]

Stronghold

Summary: Henry asks you to keep him warm while he is playing his new video game.

Prompt:

It's been snowing here in the UK, now all I can think about is cockwarming daddy, while he's playing Cyberpunk ...

Pairing: Henry Cavill x Reader

Word count: 752

Warnings: 18+, RPF, smut, a graphic depiction of penis in vagina, cockwarming.

A/N: No beta, I will be held accountable for my mistakes. Starts angelic, ends in the 9th gate of hell where yours truly crawled out from. Also apparently I’m a stress writer.

Writing is hard. Please give feedback, comment and reblog if you enjoyed my work. 🖤

Title: Stronghold

Snow piled outside your window like teeny mountains of sugar, the glass turning milky as a sheen layer of frost covered the exterior. Winter was a beautiful, cruel queen - deadly for those who came too close yet a gratifying visage to the causal voyeur.

Sitting on the couch with a book perched in your hands and Kal snuggled around your bare feet, you enjoyed the contradiction of the pale blue hues that snuck into the cosiness of the study.

For the first time in your adult life, you knew pure sanctuary, not just of the environmental kind, but this was home, he was home. Content, your eyes travelled to the man sat next to the computer. Henry's bare torso glowed under the vibrant hues of the monitor, sweat thin and shimmering, coated his profound bicep as he kept his arm folded upon the desk. A small concentrated crease pressed between his thick brows and a gleam of childlike mirth danced on the glossy surface of his orbs.

"See anything you like?" He asked calmly, not tearing his eyes from the screen.

"Maybe..." you drawled provokingly, closing your book and placing it on the red velvety armrest. "Aren't you cold? It's January, and you are not wearing a shirt."  

His cheeks stretched upward as a mischievous smile crested his face. "Maybe I am, shouldn't it be your job to keep your man warm then?"

The sonorous invitation in his voice was more than evident. Standing from your seat, you straightened your long chunky sweater and then crouched down to remove both legging and underwear.

Henry never raised his sight from his game, but the flick of his tongue over his bottom lip signalled that he definitely caught your wicked little trick. Trying to be at your best sensual behaviour, you slowly strode forth. Your pink panties hung from your index finger in a small playful twirl while you approached closer.

Thick lust drenched your sleek and the way his nostrils flared once you crept closer made you believe he could sense it the way an animal would catch the scent of its fertile mate. His cock definitely did, a large tent stood in the base of his sweats, heeding your proposal.

"Won't I spoil your fun?" you asked and lifted one leg over to the other side of his chair, caging the large man beneath your now towering body.  

Predatory eyes finally met your glare, not saying a word, he reached his left hand to free his shaft from the confines of his pants. Veiny and succulent, it pulsated with ardour, abiding the protective heat of your lush cavern.

"Like I said: come here and keep your man warm," he ordered more sternly and rolled his thumb over the dripping crease.

Obeying his will, you shifted down, your breath hitching as the fleshy crown stroked between your petals before pressing inside you. Slow yet firm, his meaty cock sailed through your narrow canal. Every inch unwrapping a blissful harmony of moans.

There was no better song than the enamoured release of pleasure Henry chanted as he buried himself deep inside you.

"You're my good girl," he exclaimed with a deep guttural groan, letting you further glide down. Sliding one hand beneath your sweater, he reached to feel himself moving deep in your gut.

"I love feeling myself there."

You wailed helplessly in response, enjoying the slight burn his imposing invasion brought upon you. Even when you were in control, he made you feel small and subdued, or in another word - fucked.  You enjoyed every bit of it, so desperate you were willing to be used to whatever his primal heart desired.  

He bound you to him at last, stilling as the tip of his lance found your cervix. Both Henry and you broke into a peal of arduous huffs, the overwhelming throb of your united flesh threatening to derive you into madness.

You wanted, needed, but he allowed none, not yet.

"Henry..."

Clicking his tongue against the roof of his mouth in rebuke, he removed his hand from your belly and retrieved it to the keyboard. "Good things come to those who wait..."  his lips murmured against your temple. His large body slumped against the backrest while you sat straddled onto his thighs with only his pulsating passion stuffing your cunt.

This was torture. This was pleasure.

As you were left impaled on his flinching monstrous desire, you vowed that if this is hell, you want nothing but to burn forever.

*No permission is given of reposting, copying my work or ideas and parts from it and claiming it as your own*

[uesp]

Theory: Todd is the sleeping Godhead that we all talk about. Also he achieved absolute CHIM

You're definitely free to come up with whatever theory on that you like, but if you're genuinely curious, I would say you're a bit off from the intended takeaway.

Trying to figure out who the Godhead is a bit of a self-defeating exercise. In fact, to get a bit ahead of the point I'm going to make, it's often easier to describe the One by what he is not. If you're looking at the rare in-series mentions of the Godhead (most of the uses of "godhead" are actually referring to more generic godhood, which is also a more modern form of "godhead"), you come up with two mentions of the Godhead, and only one of them describes the Godhead at all.

The eyes, once bleached by falling stars of utmost revelation, will forever see the faint insight drawn by the overwhelming question, as only the True Enquiry shapes the edge of thought. The rest is vulgar fiction, attempts to impose order on the consensus mantlings of an uncaring godhead.

From Waking Dreams of A Starless Sky

The Godhead is uncaring. And that is basically the depth of actual text on the Godhead. If you go with sources that did not appear in the game, you'll do a bit better, but not really to any satisfying degree. So how do we get a satisfying answer? We escape the confines of the rare and deliberately esoteric mentions of this part of the lore and look at its real-world inspiration. Speaking for myself, the best summary of this part of the lore I ever read is:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gnosticism

Sincerely, after reading that and its associated articles, I went from "wow this is all a bit complex" to "alright, this is surprisingly straightforward". To tangent slightly, while there are numerous fan writings that try to explore these concepts, and I do enjoy a lot of them, I find that some of them often have trouble expressing what it all actually means because they often restrict themselves to the trappings of TES. We're going to remove those trappings, and see if it helps.

If you want more help, here is how I mentally tie some TES lore topics to its real world counterpart.

The Godhead is the Godhead (Monad)

CHIM is Gnosis

CHIM has been described as the secret syllable of royalty. It is best understood as a state of being which allows for escape from all known laws and limitations. It is the process of reaching some sort of epiphany about the nature of the universe and one's place in it, leading to a simultaneous comprehension of the full scope of existence as well as one's own individuality.

Gnosis is the common Greek noun for knowledge. It is best known from Gnosticism, where it signifies a spiritual knowledge or insight into humanity's real nature as divine, leading to the deliverance of the divine spark within humanity from the constraints of earthly existence.

Amaranth is Emanationism

The Tower touches all the mantles of Heaven, brother-noviates, and by its apex one can be as he will. More: be as he was and yet changed for all else on that path for those that walk after. This is the third key of Nu-mantia and the secret of how mortals become makers, and makers back to mortals.

Emanationism is an idea in the cosmology or cosmogony of certain religious or philosophical systems. Emanation, from the Latin emanare meaning "to flow from" or "to pour forth or out of", is the mode by which all things are derived from the first reality, or principle. All things are derived from the first reality or perfect God by steps of degradation to lesser degrees of the first reality or God, and at every step the emanating beings are less pure, less perfect, less divine. Emanationism is a transcendent principle from which everything is derived, and is opposed to both creationism (wherein the universe is created by a sentient God who is separate from creation) and materialism (which posits no underlying subjective and/or ontological nature behind phenomena being immanent).

Anu and Padomay and their derivatives are Aeons

Lorkhan is the Demiurge

Lorkhan, the Missing God, is the Creator-Trickster-Tester deity present in every Tamrielic mythic tradition. He is known as the Spirit of Nirn, the god of all mortals. Names for versions or aspects of Lorkhan include Lorkhaj (the Moon Beast) in Elsweyr, Lorkh, the Spirit of Man, the Mortal Spirit, or the Sower of Flesh to the Reachmen, Sep in Hammerfell, Sheor in High Rock, Shor in Skyrim, and Shezarr in Cyrodiil. He convinced or contrived the Original Spirits (et'Ada) to bring about the creation of the Mundus, upsetting the status quo—much like his (figurative) father Padomay is usually credited for introducing instability, and hence possibility for creation, into the undivided universe (or the Beginning Place).

In the Platonic, Neopythagorean, Middle Platonic, and Neoplatonic schools of philosophy, the demiurge is an artisan-like figure responsible for fashioning and maintaining the physical universe. The Gnostics adopted the term demiurge. Although a fashioner, the demiurge is not necessarily the same as the creator figure in the monotheistic sense, because the demiurge itself and the material from which the demiurge fashions the universe are both considered consequences of something else. Depending on the system, they may be considered either uncreated and eternal or the product of some other entity.

The word demiurge is an English word derived from demiurgus, a Latinised form of the Greek δημιουργός or dēmiurgós. It was originally a common noun meaning "craftsman" or "artisan", but gradually came to mean "producer", and eventually "creator". The philosophical usage and the proper noun derive from Plato's Timaeus, written c. 360 BC, where the demiurge is presented as the creator of the universe. The demiurge is also described as a creator in the Platonic (c. 310–90 BC) and Middle Platonic (c. 90 BC – AD 300) philosophical traditions. In the various branches of the Neoplatonic school (third century onwards), the demiurge is the fashioner of the real, perceptible world after the model of the Ideas, but (in most Neoplatonic systems) is still not itself "the One". In the arch-dualist ideology of the various Gnostic systems, the material universe is evil, while the non-material world is good. According to some strains of Gnosticism, the demiurge is malevolent, as it is linked to the material world. In others, including the teaching of Valentinus, the demiurge is simply ignorant or misguided.

I think that by seeing these concepts side by side it will help make sense of it all. You can definitely research this further, and argue that specific parts of the lore are more directly related to other concepts, but from my limited understanding of theology/philosophy, this is a framework for understanding what the lore was based on, and the ideas that might otherwise go unconnected. If you can do better than me here, by all means, be better than me.

But this takes us to the secret question within all of this: How does this effect the setting? The answer to that is that it really doesn't. Knowing that the setting of The Elder Scrolls is the material world created by the Demiurge, separating its inhabitants from the Godhead, doesn't really change anything. After all, you can literally say the exact same thing about our world. The presence of these concepts in The Elder Scrolls setting should change how you appreciate it in roughly the same way that this school of thought existing in our own world changes your view on our setting.

If you thought this was interesting, I certainly agree with you. If you think this is all a bit too much, and don't want to think about it anymore, you won't be missing out on much by ignoring it going forward. If you want to explore different theories on this, you’re definitely free too, I hope you enjoy exploring your own thoughts on this subject.