#beefcake mayor

[aurelion-solar]

Legends of Runeterra: Dreamlit Paths - Vex Followers The Family Reunion - Shadow - Uncle Milty - Allay - Grimm - The Beautiful Disaster - Grotesque Gift - Beefcake Mayor - Gloomsprites - Glare - Existential Dread - Withering Affection

[grtmnick]

cocky blonde badassery*😏*…*👀*yearning intensifies

[bitter69uk]

Birthday hunk du jour: the fabulous Adam West (né William West Anderson, 19 September 1928 - 9 June 2017) - best remembered as Batman on the ultra-kitsch 1960s TV series. I also loved him providing the voice of Mayor Adam West on TV’s Family Guy! West clearly had a great sense of the absurd and self-mockery. This 1967 Spanish magazine cover offers a tantalizing glimpse of what was going on beneath the bat suit. No wonder West brags on the 1992 “Mr. Plow” episode of The Simpsons on which he plays himself as a guest star: “I didn’t need molded plastic to improve my physique. (Taps chest). Pure West!”

Vintage Magazine - Ecran #1876 (1967) (Spanish)

[alanaartdream]

Ok my adhd brain doesn’t want to sleep until I draw my Fairy Timmy (with the Nicktoons unite gang) having to deal with grown up Dale hitting on him because

@jaytalking Fairy Timmy au inspired @bunnieswithknives to draw Dale’s one sided love with their fairy Timmy design and I couldn’t stop laughing and giggling seeing a Adult Jimmy Neutron being oooh so mad at dale for trying to get with Timmy in my mind

As you can see I had to sketch it out

Now peri and Jimmy are planning Dale’s demise as we speak while Danny and SpongeBob are wondering if they should help Timmy to get away from this Dale Creep

I kinda want to draw Jimmy with his hair down but figured people might not recognise Jimmy without his classic hairstyle ^^;

Also why Danny drawn as a beefcake here? (Or my attempt at drawing a adult beefcake Danny) well Bustch up on his YouTube channel has given up some drawings/ stories information on what adult Danny Sam and Trucker would be and apparently they’re a incredible ghost hunting team in their future; Sam And Danny get Married & Tucker ends up mayor/ president of their town/ city aaaannnddd because of all the ghost fighting Danny been doing for YEARS he becomes very fit and ripped (( can someone tell me why But h likes to make his male protagonist grow up to be big beefcakes? Because it seems to be a trend with him))

Also I heard someone say that butch once said he wanted to Make Danny Fenton/ phantom and Timmy Turner Cousins but didn’t go through with that idea because that would’ve been pretty good idea AND would explain why A) Timmy and Danny kinda look alike a bit and B) Timmy’s crazy lazy and very dumb birth parents where kinda obsessed with ghost hunting in their past before they had Timmy (but they were SO OO bad at it I mean they way of fighting ghosts was to blow up the house the ghosts were hunting and they blew up everyone’s house and got chased to the other side of town and had to change their names.. Danny & Danny’s parents would be horrified learning there was ghost hunters this bad out there)

Also I was gonna go with Danny saying

*do you see this shit SpongeBob* but then thought no way would Danny swear around his emotional support sponge 🧽

Also in my fairy Timmy can’t stand Dale either

And being as Wanda & Cosmo knows Timmy did want to grow his hair out but his birth father never LET him and would always cut it short if he was to be adopted by them and raised with Peri/poof then I’d know Timmy would grow his hair out and keep it in a ponytail as a fairy adult so it’s why my fairy Timmy has long hair

Danny being as he’s fighting ghosts all the time and being as Butch has said Sam & Danny get married and have 2 kids who inherit Ghost powers but a little different from their Dad he most likely doesn’t want his hair too long and it might just be a little long but not long enough to tie up being as he most likely needs to look professional being the city’s ghost protector/ fighter and likely doesn’t want his hair to bother him while he fights ghosts

Just my own experience being as I work for a hospital and had my hair short before to try to keep it from bothering me during a hot summer working week but thanks to being busy and some lockdowns it’s back to being long now but I understand keeping a hold city and raising kids means yo have no time dealing with long hair so mostly try to keep it shortish

Anyway thank you for enjoying my silly au ideas and drawings it’s been fun to draw them down

[wallbeatjournal]

what if i said hiram has a portrait of archie somewhere? what then?

he commissioned one in the traditional lodge office aesthetic in s4 to hang in archie's deputy mayor office, but archie had already been shunned and run away to army by the time it got delivered. hiram considers dramatically burning it but ultimately keeps it in storage (except for the nights he doesn't).

OR: reclusive artist cheryl painted archie during her whole romantic mythology period, as a young atlas (shirtless, beefcake) buckling under the weight of the sky, and hiram procured it through a third party buyer. he remarks to reggie that he's planning to throw darts through it but that never happens, it's just there. and then archie moves back into town and it gets weird so he moves it into storage (except for the nights etc).

OR, more obscurely: hiram has had a copy of archie's mugshot in his wallet for years. it's a portrait, and from a certain point of view he did commission it.

[snowyishere]

Time to do the residents of Pen Island in my Tomodachi Collection

First Floor:

101 - Snowy

102 - Jamie (my friend)

103 - Minnie (Married to Villager)

104 - SpongeBob/Bob

105 - Eve & Zoe (E.Z.)

106 - Car (Carlos)

107 - Villager (Mayor from AC, Married to Minnie)

108 - Hamburger (Beefcakes)

Second Floor:

201 - Lotte

202 - Filbo Fiddlepie

203 - Gramble Gigglefunny

204 - Cromdo Face (Relationship with Minnie failed)

205 - Wiggle Wigglebottom

206 - Shellsy "Shelda" Woolbag

207 - Beffica Winklesnoot

208 - Floofty Fizzlebean

Third Floor:

301 - Wambus Troubleham

302 - Triffany Lottablog

303 - Cookie

304 - Brownie

305 - Kared

306 - N/A

307 - N/A

308 - N/A

[nysocboy]

Kelvin and Keefe around the world

I was randomly searching for Kelvin and Keefe without specifying Righteous Gemstones, since where else could you find that exact combinations of names? Turns out that there are lots of Kelvins and Keefes in the world. Keefe Chan, for instance, a personal trainer from Singapore.

He's gay and single, and on social media, in case you are interested.

I knew that Kelvin was a common last name, but Keefe? Yep, there are lots. James Keefe is from Michigan.

And there is even a Kelvin - Keefe pair in the Philippines. Kelvin Chan is the mayor of Pozorrubio, Pangasinan, about 3 hours north of Manila by car. His son Keefe Chan is a pilot. HBO MAX is available in the Philippines, so maybe they are aware of the coincidence.

There are uncensored bulge and butt pics on Righteous Gemstones Beefcake and Boyfriends.

[but-what-if-it-was-a-turtle]

!!!MASTERPOST!!!

Welcome to "But what if it was a turtle?", the hub for all our weird adventures and mishaps! This post is here to guide you to our blogs and what is and isn't allowed, as well as the story so far!

Hamato Raphael (aka Raph, aka Red) - (tba)

Hamato Leonardo (aka Leo, aka Leon, aka Neon Leon, aka Primetime, aka Pepino, aka Blue) - (tba)

Hamato Donatello (aka Donnie, aka Donald, aka Don, aka Dee/D, aka Orthello Von Ryan, aka Purple) - (tba)

Hamato Michaelangelo (aka Mikey, aka Angelo, aka Michael, aka Orange) - (tba)

Hamato Yoshi (aka Lou Jitsu, aka Splinter, aka Snuggle Muffin Beefcake) - (tba)

April O'Neil - (tba)

Sunita - (tba)

Carol O'Neil - (tba)

Mayhem (aka Agent 46) - (tba)

Frankenfoot (aka Buddy) - (tba)

Piebald - (tba)

Baron Draxum (aka Barry) - (tba)

Huginn & Muninn (aka Draxum's shoulder pads) - (tba)

Sloppy Joseph - (tba)

Cassandra Jones (aka Casey) - (tba)

Casey Jones (aka Case) - (tba)

Big Mama (aka Sassy Sugar Badger) - (tba)

Big Mama's Assistant - (tba)

Amphisbaena - (tba)

Cortex - (tba)

Sprite - (tba)

Señor Hueso (aka Hueso) - (tba)

Hueso Jr. - (tba)

Capitán Piel (aka Piel) - (tba)

Clem - (tba)

Mrs. Cuddles (aka Cuddles) - (tba)

Loathsome Leonard - (tba)

Dastardly Danny - (tba)

Malicious Mickey - (tba)

Loose Lips Malinowski - (tba)

Hypno-Pottamus (aka Hypno) - (tba)

Warren Stone - (tba)

Mayor Mira - (tba)

Repo Mantis - (tba)

Meat Sweats (aka Rupert Swaggart) - (tba)

Todd (aka Nails von Melee) - (tba)

//mod (aka Lulu, aka Lu) - @lulu-nightbon (main), @neurodivergent-gremlin (alt)

??? - (tba) [ask box closed!]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

!!Rules!!

1. Please do not send anything explicitly nsfw- these blogs portray underage characters, and nsfw content of them is really fuckin weird! (this includes gore- no matter how good or engaging it might be, we have to be mindful of the other anons! implications are a very fine line and will be decided on a case by case basis, and mod will try to tag potentially triggering content! however, mod is not perfect, so if they miss something, please remind him!)

2. Please do not harass others! While some of you may have your various issues with the turtles and co., please do not take it out on mod or the other askers, as they are actual people! As well, any bigots- homophobes, transphobes, antisemitics, anti-autism, the like- will not be acknowledged! mod vixself is genderqueer and most definitely not straight, has clinically diagnosed autism, depression, and anxiety, as well as a history of anorexic behaviors, and traumatic experiences. while fel may fare well against just seeing/hearing about certain things, and can stand comments being launched at them, he does have a limit, and his limits may be higher than other anons. these blogs may be a bit, but there is a line that shouldn't be crossed, so please do be mindful and respectful!

3. Don't be afraid to use your oc's in asks! The events of the canon show and movie are entirely unchanged, so any previous histories will be void and null here! Some may be formed, but these blogs take place within a year after the movie (specific numbers will be posted to this after a hot second of research, so these blogs will not be responding to asks until a timeline is established!), so be aware that backstories for your oc's may be ignored! also be aware that mod likely does not know your oc's backstory, so feel free to type it up and tag him if you want them to understand something going on in your ask that has to do with the backstory. also, be aware that some nicknames are off-limits. unless you are running an rp blog of a character that would use said specific nickname, you are not that character, so do not use that nickname.

4. "But what if it was a turtle?" is not responsible for content sent into them! If askers send in content that crosses the nsfw, triggering, or harassment line, do not expect it to be answered! We do not want our askers to be heckled, so we will put our foot down if content sent in does not follow the rules!

5. Please be mindful that shipping is a tentative area! We're sure you all have your own headcanons, desires, and child oc's, but, once again, these are underage characters! If you are really dead-set and hellbent on a ship, you're going to have to work for it, and we can't guarantee you won't have competition or that anyone will be able to achieve such a feat! Of course, we are aware of the subsect of you that may send in shipping material to REACT to in order to see how torturous it may be for said character. This is going to be accepted on a case by case basis, and please do remember that these must apply to the other rules to be answered! However, asks that do not make the cut are more likely to be referenced as an independent post (though that may not be a good thing, so don't be getting ideas).

6. No T-Cest. No one wants to see that. We don't care if you'd like to see the Hamatos be tortured by seeing this. It's not allowed.

7. Have fun! That's what these blogs are for!

8. Rise baby, Rise baby! (leo insisted on this. donnie warned him.)

rules sourced from The Turtles And Their Colors!

-----------------------------------

STORYTIME!

... it's empty. we haven't started yet.

[spiced-koi-friend]

Close Encounters

Gabriel infiltrates your office, but it doesn't go exactly how he planned. Also, he may need to buy his own suit at some point.

Previous Chapter

Assassin!Goldbullet x Politician!F!Reader, TW: weapons Words: 2287 | Rating: R | AO3

You’ve been laying low since the assassination attempt last night, especially since your security wasn’t able to find the would-be hitman. At the insistence of your therapist, you’ve been surrounded by several bodyguards and several are being hired for this exact purpose. Maybe you shouldn’t be bringing on more people as someone just tried to kill you, but your secretary is doing a very thorough vetting process through all the applicants. Short of the FBI personally doing a cavity search on all of them, any other test possible is being run. 

Ruze has not left your side, nearly growling at a member of staff that came in without an appointment. Sure, you nearly died, but the growling is a bit unnecessary. He has been the one to shut all the curtains, plant security guards at every possible post, and is even forcing you to wear a bulletproof vest as you try to work. 

“Ruze, this is ridiculous. I look ridiculous.”

“You can complain all you want when it stops you from getting shot. Until then, you’re welcome.”

You punch his arm with a groan, burying your face in one of your hands.

“I don’t even know why I came into work. Shouldn’t I be like, staying home or something?”

“Gotta show whoever tried to kill you that you’re not intimidated by them, and life will carry on as normal. Show ‘em you’re a big, strong, independent woman or some shit.”

“Great pep talk, Ruze.”

“You’re welcome. Everyone knows that’s why you keep me around.”

His sarcasm makes you chuckle a little bit, although your attention is drawn elsewhere at your secretary coming in.

“The beefcakes are ready for inspection.”

“The what now!?”

“You think I’ve been selecting beanpoles like me? I can’t protect for shit, there’s no way any of them could do any better. Hence, beefcakes.”

“I- why couldn’t you just say the new bodyguards are here?”

“This was more fun.”

Bettel grins at you before dipping out, and five new recruits enter your office. A couple catch your eye immediately, but they all seem to fit the profile Ruze instructed for Bettel to look for. Your head of security rounds your desk, pacing in front of them military style.

“Alright nerds, we got some small-brained maggot shit stain that thinks it’s funny to take sniper shots at our mayor here, and I’m not laughing. You were hired for your skills, and several of you will be working very close to her. While you will be protected with proper gear, it is expected that you intercept any attacks so they don’t hit her. Am I understood?”

All you can do is shake your head and grin at how ridiculous Ruze is acting about this. He gets a few “yes sir”s and seems satisfied with this debriefing. Ruze eyes a few of them, getting in a little closer.

“Ruze, if you can smell what they had for breakfast, you’re too close.”

“Maybe I want to. Plus, breakfast is the most important meal of the day, or whatever they teach you on Sesame Street.”

The humor seems to diffuse the tension in the room, and you see the recruits relax a little bit as Ruze cackles. One of them catches your eye though, dressed up in a dark green suit. He’s definitely pretty, but a glint in his eye makes you think he’s far more dangerous than he’s letting on. Perfect to accompany you and Ruze as a more personal bodyguard.

You relay your intentions to Ruze, and he sends the others to their posts, leaving the three of you in the room together.

…

Well shit. Gabriel wasn’t expecting for him to get this close, but now his acting skills are gonna have to come in clutch. 

“You’ll be having a trial run as a personal bodyguard. Gotta name?”

“Uh, Gabriel. Although professionally I’ve been called “Goldbullet”. Whichever works, I suppose.”

“Alright Goldie, I hope you know your shit. Go down to the locker room and get on something less stiff than that suit you’re wearing. You look like you're suffocating in it.”

Admittedly it is a bit tight, but that’s the consequences of renting a suit and not having one personally tailored. He nods, leaving the room to locate the locker room. The secretary is sitting at his desk, filing his nails while on the phone. 

“I’m not saying that you need to feed him a burrito, I’m just saying that if Phantom isn’t eating the dog food, I have some extra Taco Bell in the fridge!”

“Umm, excuse me?”

“Hold on Twobert, I need to call you back- how can I attempt to assist you?”

“Attempt…?”

“I make no promises, I am only one man, and I’m barely surviving as it is.”

“I see… Can you point me in the direction of the locker room?”

“Congratulations! You found something I can help you with. You’re gonna wanna go down that left hallway, and there’s a sign above the door on the right.”

“Uh, thanks.”

Gabriel can’t help but laugh at the secretary resuming his call, presumably getting scolded for feeding his dog Taco Bell. To each their own, he supposes. 

The locker room is mostly quiet, spare the occasional chatter of the other men getting into the provided uniform. Compression shirt, bullet proof vest, jacket, and black cargo pants. 

“Hey, nice suit.”

“Oh, thanks. Unfortunately it’s a rental, and doesn't fit quite right.”

“I mean, I don’t think anyone would complain about it being a little tight.”

His coworker gives him a wink and Gabriel just laughs, a bit in disbelief at how forward he was. He just smirks, getting his shirt on and placing his feather necklace over top again. The pants are a bit big in the waist, but he just takes one of the holster belts to help keep them up. 

“I guess I should’ve sent in my measurements.”

“Eh, I think they just guessed for all of us. Although it’s clear they were looking for a particular type. I think it’s a bit funny though, this is usually more coverage than I typically wear.”

A different coworker adjusts his ponytail, holding a clip between his teeth.

“This is about what I wear. I’m Gabriel, by the way.”

“Shinri, pleasure to meet you. Good to see someone else who looks like they know what they’re doing. That head security guard, he’s definitely something.”

“I wouldn’t be intimidated, obviously his bark matches his bite, but he seems to enjoy joking around quite a bit.”

“Oh I’m not worried. Luckily he seems to only pick on people his own size.”

“Have you seen that secretary? Part of me wonders how he has this job. Bit of a mess.”

Shinri chuckles, securing his hair in place.

“When the rest of us came out of the mayor’s office, he said, and I quote “get your sexy bodies into that locker room”. A bit forward, but got a laugh out of all of us.”

Gabriel laughs, almost forgetting why he’s here. 

“Glad to see that no one takes themselves too seriously. Well, I think we have a mayor to protect.”

“I’ll see you around?”

“I hope so.”

Gabriel grabs a pistol and a baseball cap, tucking his bangs underneath it. Part of him is grateful no one saw him last night, because this isn’t too far from what he was wearing during the assassination attempt. He enters the office again, greeted with a smirk from Ruze. 

“Looking way better there, Goldie. Why don’t you escort our mayor to her car and accompany her to her lunch break? Get a little familiar with each other.”

…

Fucking bastard. Picked up almost immediately on the fact you think Gabriel is pretty, and threatened to spill your secret. Instead he’s sending the two of you on a “date”, claiming he needs to check on the other new hires. Gabriel looks almost as shocked as you are, but nods and offers his arm to you as you walk around your desk. You manage to get a glare at Ruze, who is simply looking smug as you walk out of your office, heading towards your car. 

“So… have you been in the bodyguard business for a long time?”

“Me? No, mostly just contract protections, short term stuff. Used to be a part of an agency, but quit to go solo when there were some, creative differences.”

“Creative differences in a bodyguard company? How does that come around?”

“They wanted us to be armed in a certain way, only using certain ways to protect ourselves or our targets. I think you should do whatever is necessary to get the job done, and they didn’t necessarily agree. So I left.”

“Well, I’m glad that you’re that dedicated to keep me safe, although I hope it doesn’t come to that level of extremes.”

“I hope so too.”

He opens the door for you, allowing you to get into the back of the SUV first before he joins in beside you. You both nervously fidget, him with the feather chain around his neck, yourself with your bracelet. The silence is deafening, nearly drowning out the sound of the tires on the road. Your driver takes you down to a small plaza downtown, letting the two of you out before heading off in a different direction for a smoke break. Gabriel offers you his arm again, which you cautiously take. He walks a bit slower, allowing you to keep pace with him as the two of you look at the various restaurants.

“Do you usually go out to lunch? Especially with new bodyguards?”

“Ruze wanted me to get out of my office, making public appearances shows I’m “not afraid of anything”, which is bullshit. I was shot at last night, of course I’m fucking terrified.”

“I mean, you’re already doing pretty well all things considered. Far stronger than your average person would be in this situation.”

“I… appreciate that.”

The smile he gives you is soft, beaming at you as he almost runs into a pole. You tug him out of the way at the last second.

“Oops, thanks. I promise I’m usually more observant.”

“No problem, Goldie. You’re alright with me calling you that, right?”

“Yes ma’am, it’s at least better than when Ruze called me it.”

“Oh you get used to him, he’s just a bastard.”

“I got that impression.”

The two of you laugh, and he pulls you into a small chicken shop. The little old lady waves the two of you in, gesturing for a table for the two of you. Gabriel pulls the chair out for you, making you sit against the wall while he sits between you and the door.

“You like chicken fingies?”

“Can’t go wrong with those.”

Your lunch date is cute, laughing over your plates of chicken fingers and stealing some of his fries. He tries to scold you, but his smile deceives him and just makes him laugh even harder. After he pays, the two of you walk around the plaza while the weather is still nice, and you’re waiting for your driver to come back.

…

This has to be a setup, there’s no way it’s this easy. He keeps checking the tops of buildings and deep into alleys, expecting that the other guys he met in the locker room are gonna jump him and arrest him for what he tried to do. But no one ever comes around, even the driver left the two of you alone. It’d be so easy to just take the pistol in his holster and kill you right now, so what is stopping him? You smile at him differently than you do with anyone else, hugging his arm a bit tighter than he was expecting.

He cracked so many jokes over lunch, there’s no way you were just laughing to be polite. The way you hold your sides from giggling too hard, it’s adorable. He’s now leaning against the car with you, his arm wrapped around your shoulders to partially shield you. His eyes are never taken off the environment, thankfully you’re in no danger. He’d never admit that he likes holding you a little bit closer, but he’s so nervous that this is all a setup that he can’t really enjoy it. 

“Gabriel? You okay?”

He looks down at you in shock, a bit startled out of his concentration.

“Me? Oh, yeah. I’m fine. Just doing the job I was paid to do.”

“The driver’s back, we can get in, but you need to move so he can get in the driver’s seat.”

The grizzled old man glares at him, giving a sheepish smile back.

“Sorry, just gotta keep her safe.”

“Yeah yeah, you two lovebirds get in the backseat, I don’t wanna see any of that PDA.”

The two of you let out different indignant noises, making the old man just laugh as he unlocks the car.

“Alright, let’s get the two of you back to work. Can’t be smooching on company time.”

You huff as Gabriel lets the two of you into the backseat again, He silently curses the old man, as you’re now avoiding his touch. Just going back to fidgeting with his necklace, The drive feels painfully long, still doing his best to be a gentleman when you arrive back at the office together.

“I’m gonna… I’ll be right back.”

Gabriel excuses himself as you enter your office again, closing your door quietly before going to the bathroom to splash some water on his face. What is wrong with him? He just has to kill you, that’s all the job entails.

… “So how was your date~?”

“Ruze, I’m gonna kill you.”

“You’re welcome!”

[the-nexus-of-thicc-goats]

Underwest

Asriel is a bounty hunter that travels around yet somehow no one recognizes his massive dick. While his Asgore is the mayor who drinks the day away.

Not to mention, Asriel has a fat ass too. Asgore is one enormous beefcake of a goat that is in charge of a town that drinks kegs. He is known on inhaling any troublemaker in his gullet too

[iam93percentstardust]

2020 Fic Recs Part 1

Hello everyone! If you saw @ad1thi‘s recent fic rec post going around, you know she got the idea from me. I had the idea a few months ago of doing a roundup of my favorite fics from 2020 at the end of the year because, let’s be honest with ourselves, I read a lot over the last twelve months, partially because this year, I really started settling into my own in fandom but mostly because this year was an absolute shitshow and I needed a distraction from everything going on outside my tiny apartment. I know it’s been a hard year for everyone and while there’s hope that next year might be a little better, there’s no guarantee so here are some of the fics that helped me get through this year. I hope you all like them as well.

Fics are organized by month and range over a variety of fandoms and ships. Since some of these are multi-chapters, I’ve organized them according to what date the last chapter posted. This got a little long so I’ve broken this up into 4 parts to be reblogged over the next two weeks.

January

Hope for the Holidays by @aurumacadicus (Winteriron)

Tony never expected to share Christmas with the man who killed his parents, but he's here now, so they should make the best of it.

Woodash and iron and leather by LokelaniRose (Geraskier)

Jaskier is the only person Geralt's ever been around who doesn't smell of fear

Happiness: A Song in Three Parts by @newtypeshadow (Stuckony)

Tony's just a kid when he first hears the music. He's human, no one knows werewolves exist yet, and there's no sexy beefcake couple Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes coming out as werewolves and giving interviews to the press to explain the melody Tony heard sporadically during childhood is what werewolves—and the human mates of werewolves—hear when their soulmate is within a few miles of them.

By the time he finds out what the music means, he hasn't heard a note in years.

And when he finally hears it again, he's busy running for his life.

Heart in Hand by janonny (Stevetony)

Steve had been thinking — that was all he was doing, thinking, not moping, as Bucky described it — about the best way to make his feelings clear to Tony. He wanted it to be perfect. He needed it to be the best demonstration of sincere interest that Tony had ever received.

Bucky called it procrastinating, but Steve called it strategizing.

And this Courting Ceremony? It was perfect.

Now he just needed to figure out what to get Tony as a Courting gift. And what to wear. And what to say. And what to do.

-

Or the story where Tony, an Omega, holds a much belated Courting Ceremony. Steve joins up and loses his mind a little.

something i can treasure by theredtailedhawkwithjewelsforeyes (Geraskier)

Jaskier would not call himself a thief. But, well- he is elbow-deep in someone’s saddlebags, pulling up handfuls of pretty little bottles. They’re all filled up with jewel-bright potions, corked delicately, and they almost seem to hum in his hands.

Then, suddenly-

There’s the sharp point of a sword at his neck.

Lock & Key by sablier_bloque (Geraskier)

“Geralt, it’s not what it looks like.”

“Really?” he asked. He clenched his jaw before offering a sharp, mirthless smile. “Because it looks like you got caught fucking the mayor’s wife, and now I’m not getting paid!”

“Well,” he laughed nervously, looking anywhere but up. “When you put it that way.”

In which Jaskier suggests a chastity device to prove himself a worthy travel companion, and of course, gives Geralt the key.

February

A hard curl of satisfaction by LokelaniRose (Geraskier & Yenalt in V-shaped polyamory)

Geralt was taught that a witcher is only good for one thing

Half Agony, Half Hope by @no-gorms (Stevetony)

Following the Battle of New York, the Avengers Initiative kicks into high gear under the leadership of Steve Rogers, i.e. Captain America. Tony didn’t mean to become part of this initiative, but it makes sense to sign on due to his experience with SHIELD and Rhodey’s War Machine suits.

The upside: Tony’s tech can be used in a widespread and meaningful way to help protect people. The downside: the last time Tony saw Steve, he’d rejected Steve’s proposal of marriage and broke his heart, leading to almost ten years of the two having no contact whatsoever. Until now.

when the bones are good by SummerFrost (Geraskier)

Julian is six when he realizes that he's got an astounding capacity for being an annoying bastard. He's seventeen when he finally decides to lean in.

Where There’s a Witcher by ghostinthelibrary (Geraskier)

Jaskier is a twentysomething recently unemployed journalist and amateur musician looking for his big break. So when he’s saved from the jaws of a wyvern by the infamous Butcher of Blaviken, Geralt of Rivia, he comes up with a brilliant idea: he’ll follow the Witcher around and sing about their exploits. He’ll gain fame and fortune and Geralt will get a much needed image rehab. Everyone wins.

Unless Jaskier goes and falls in love like an idiot.

my body bruises at your touch by brawlite (Geraskier)

To lure a monster out, Geralt ties Jaskier up, making him look like easy prey. Surprisingly, Jaskier finds himself enjoying his time as bait a bit more than expected.

Do it Again by thisgirlsays22 (Geraskier)

By the twentieth time Geralt has gone through the loop, he decides to just throw himself off the cliff’s edge after Borch.

He wakes up to his twenty-first attempt.

“Fuck.”

The Song of the White Wolf by sospes (Geraskier)

“It’s a wolf, not a dog,” Geralt says flatly.

“It’s hurt.”

“It’s a wolf.”

“I’m helping it,” Ciri says, ignoring him, and turns back to the wolf.

But when is a wolf not a wolf? When it's everyone's favourite humble bard, of course!

March

Even Steel Blades Need Fire by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (Geraskier)

Jaskier's given a lot to Geralt over the years, but there's one tiny, insignificant, minor molehill of a thing he's kept back from him.

Namely that Jaskier isn't human.

Mission Accomplished by @riotwritesthings (Winteriron)

Tony has had a terrible, rotten, no good day. Fortunately, he knows exactly what he needs to feel better.

With a Conquering Air by inexplicifics (Geraskier)

From the kinkmeme: AU Warlord!Geralt receives Tribute!Jaskier as a sacrifice to appease him in every way possible. Jaskier has no choice on the matter and he’s fully aware of the awful rumours that have spread about Geralt and his ruthless conquests. (But we all know those aren’t legit.) A classic angst with a happy ending please! A dash of smut to heal those scars and a sprinkle of new found love!

Jaskier arrives at Kaer Morhen knowing his family gave him up without a second thought, and absolutely sure that the dreaded Warlord of the North will value him even less than his own blood did. But the White Wolf and his pack are not what Jaskier expected...and if he's unreasonably lucky, Kaer Morhen might become far more of a home than Lettenhove ever was.

play out a spell in your sequence of chords (to inspire and sharpen our rusted swords) by AceSailorKoshkaRayn

Geralt cocked his head to the side curiously to regard the chittering fox caught in the hunter's trap. The beast had deep chestnut fur and eerily bright blue eyes. He knelt, and the creature hissed at him, baring his teeth in fear.

"I mean you no harm," he rumbled, hands palm-up. His swords were at his campsite, regardless. He reached forward slowly, and the fox didn't move, though it's teeth remained bared. It was a simple matter to pry open the trap, and the fox leapt away, chattering its teeth at him. Their eyes met for a long moment, amber to fantastical blue, and the fox dashed off.

Sighing faintly, hands resting on his knees, Geralt bowed his head tiredly. He rolled his neck to crack it, and rose to his feet to shuffle his way back to his camp.

Set out neatly next to his bedroll were three cleanly gutted rabbits, and Geralt paused in surprise. Roach whinnied softly, and stamped a hoof. A crown of golden wheat rested primly between her ears.

Ah. Fae, then. Services paid for services rendered. Hopefully the fae would consider them even, now, but something in him doubted it.

[grtmnick]

“Swan, I didn’t foresee this side of you…I-it’s quite intense,” whispered Regina through a quivering in her voice.

It would seem that the former evil queen had finally succeeded in getting a rise out of the savior Emma Swan after all.

[stetervault]

Steter fics from 2019/any Steter fics you feel like reccing

2019 Steter fics, let’s see… Here’s a bunch of random ones I’ve enjoyed over the past year:

Where I Want to Be by Tahlruil

Peter wasn’t exactly surprised when he ‘woke up’ in hell.

He’d known his wounds were fatal as soon as he’d gotten them. In truth he’d never expected to still be standing after his quest for revenge had been completed. What mattered was taking the Argent family down with him and making sure they died before he did. Peter had saved Kate and Gerard for last; they had looked into his eyes as they bled out. They had known that he was the instrument of their family’s doom and he couldn’t ask for more than that.

You Are A Call To Motion by neglectedtuesday

Here at Hale Industries ® we don’t believe in limiting one’s pleasure. That’s why we’re dedicated to bringing our clientele the best in Jackbot technology. Whether you’re a busy dom in need of a service sub or a baby boy desperate for an Alien Daddy, Hale Industries ® has the perfect bot for you. Built to your specifications, our customer service team is devoted to building a bot that will never fail to meet your needs. And if you discover something new you want to try, you can subscribe to our monthly upgrade packages in order to add or remove kinks at your leisure.

Hale Industries ® - The Only Limits Are The Ones We Place On Ourselves.

Here Begins the Land of Phantoms by Triangulum

Stiles is four and scared of the dark. There are things in the shadows of his room, whispering to him, showing him terrible, violent things.

There’s something in the basement, too. He can feel it while he’s sitting on the old, worn sofa, its presence curling around the edges of the room. He thinks he can see something sometimes, a mass shimmering in the corner, but he always looks away. He doesn’t want to know.

Or

Peter is a demon that lives in the Stilinskis’ basement.

From Ashes Rebuilt by ambersagen

“You shouldn’t be alive,” Stiles finally admitted. He sounded sorry, smelled like anxiety and hunched in on himself as he fell back from Peter to land in the dented chair. “I heard the doctors telling your niece. She wasn’t quiet about it, and no one cares if I’m around anyway so I heard the whole thing, about your burns. I snuck in to see you.”

“Like a sideshow freak,” Peter sneered, starting to understand.

“Like a miracle,” Stiles corrected.

MCSZ-LW by Bunnywest

Mayor Whittemore gives John his widest politician’s smile. “It’s one of the best- a Halebot. You work so hard for the city, and with Claudia gone five years now, we thought you’d appreciate some company. A service bot is perfect. I mean, you deserve more than the standard gift certificate. “

“Would have preferred the gift card,” John huffs under his breath, but he plasters on a smile and makes all the right noises, because this is an elected position, and as jackbots go, Halebots really are the best. He just doesn’t know quite what he’s going to do with it.

Baby Whisperer by twothumbsandnostakeincanon (somanyofthekids)

“What. Is that.”

Scott looked up at him, apprehensive.

“Her name’s Lily.”

Stiles stared at the fuzzy head peeking out of the papoose.

“Her. Her name. That is a real live human baby. Oh my God-”

“Actually I don’t know if she’s human?” Scott said with a confused frown. “Becca didn’t say.”

“Who the fuck is Becca?!”

Care for Me, As I’ve Never Known by lavenderlotion

“Why…why did you offer me the bite?” Stiles asked quietly, the cover of night and the hum of the Jeep’s engine giving him courage he wouldn’t usually have.

Peter hummed thoughtfully, taking a turn smoothly. “That is quite the question you’re asking. I’m not sure the answer is one you would be happy to hear.”

A Love for Millennia (a story never told) by OneSmartChicken

Stiles had to go into the woods that night. It didn’t make sense. She was lured by the sense of adventure, but there was a more that dragged at her.

Or: Stiles is the only one to realize she and Peter are soulmates. She doesn’t mention it.

Wind Chimes by wynnebat

“Why are you here?” Peter asks, his brow furrowing in confusion. “I can understand curiosity, but Stiles, you have visited me nearly every day for years. It can’t be that simple.”

Stiles shrugs. It’s both simple and not. For him, who grew up with the wind, who is inseparable from it in the best of ways, it is absurdly simple. For Peter, who doesn’t trust the wind as Stiles does, it may not be. “The wind says you’re mine. That’s all I need.”

Robber Foxes (Have No Fears) by RayShippouUchiha (WIP)

In the end all Stiles really has left is his dad, a lonely house, the key and deed to the loft, and a chest filled up with emptiness.

A void, yawning right behind his sternum.

That and the laughter of a fox trapped right beneath his skin, echoing in the hollows of his skull, whispering behind his teeth.

Stiles should have known it wasn’t over.

Magic stains everything it touches after all.

Keep You (Safe) Within my Shadow by lavenderlotion

Stiles has never been scared of the dark. The shadows are his friends.

Into Eden by GracieBirdie

Stiles deciding to bring home the stray alpha he’d hit with his jeep probably made him certifiable, if it hadn’t turned out Peter was as crazy as he was.

Trust in the End by ShebaRen, Tahlruil

Stiles had always kind of assumed that the end of the world was going to be full of fire and panicking people. Nuclear warfare had pretty much been his guess as to how it would all go, but he could be flexible on that. His only certainty was that it would be man-made, because people always messed things up.

He hadn’t expected the end to be full of snow and freezing cold. He hadn’t expected to be so alone while it was happening, hadn’t thought he would be making a trek from California all the way up to - if his maps and bearings were right - Washington State. He definitely hadn’t expected for it all to happen while his parents were away on a trip for their second honeymoon.

Thankfully he’d fallen in with a wolf who had saved his life and then hung around like a bad penny afterward.

Making Marks by Udunie

Stiles woke to his phone ringing at four in the afternoon, because apparently, he’d never even heard of a healthy sleep schedule before, and also; hated himself.

He blindly found it in the pocket of his jeans thrown haphazardly to the floor, and blinked at it for a few seconds before picking it up.

“‘Sup, Lyds?” he asked, just because he knew she hated the nickname, and she did wake him up.

“I’m killing Jackson,” she announced with unusual honesty. To be fair, any kind of honesty was unusual from her, considering her and Stiles only reconnected recently - and it wasn’t like they were too close in high school either.

“Congratulations?”

You Just Got Ghosted! by Ragga

“What’s your name, angel?” little Stiles murmured even as his eyes fell closed, quickly losing his battle against sleep.

Stiles smiled. It was a little sad but also heavy with the knowledge that what he was doing was the right thing—heavy with the knowledge he didn’t deserve the moniker bestowed upon him.

“You can call me Mietek.”

Or the one where there’s time travel, feels abound, two Stiles in one timeline, and one of them stuck somewhere between the planes of existence. Yet a ghost can still manage to save the day and get the girl. Or the wolf. Manly wolf. Because Peter.

Toothed Morality (Send Me Flowers) by rightsidethru

“The world is a dark place, moje kochanie; it is one filled with monsters, always ready to gobble you whole. Be wary of the promises they give: seal every vow with blood and bone and Name. A True Name, one that will bind them to their word.”

“But how will I know that they’re telling the truth, Matka? Couldn’t they lie…?”

“You’ll know, mały płomień.”

Everyone is King When There’s No One Left to Pawn by Bittah_Wizard

The AU where Stiles is an old trickster—just not the one you’re thinking of.

Beefcake Mountain by twothumbsandnostakeincanon (somanyofthekids)

Shortly after moving back to Beacon Hills, the left hand of the Hale Pack opened a text from a mysterious number.

“Is there a mirror in your pants? Because I can see myself in them.”

What the f—

Wild Creatures by neglectedtuesday

The treaty is signed while Stiles is being laced into his wedding corset. Ink splatters parchment as a maid pulls the ribbons, tighter and tighter. Stiles’ breath and future are taken away, all to save a village. He is a sacrifice more than a bride. The maid assists in fixing a choker around Stiles throat. Her hands are cold despite the roaring fire in the grate. The choker is a string of blood red rubies, they reflect the firelight with a wet shine like an open wound.

First to Know by Twisted_Mind

They fold to their knees in the vee of his legs. His hands cradle their cheek and the back of their neck, and they lean into the touch, eyes closing. “It’s mine.”

“What’s yours, darling?”

They drag in a shaky breath, and look up into the face of the man they love. “The magic. It’s mine. My spark did this.”

Chances by SpookyMiscreant

Supernaturals have soulmarks, everyone knew that, but it was ignorant to think that supernaturals only fell in love with supernaturals. It wasn’t necessarily rare for humans to have marks, but not common either. Supernatural kids all anxiously await the full moon after their fifth birthday, but human kids let the full moon pass without much anticipation.Stiles’ mother had made him stay up that night in his underwear as she searched him with a flashlight, intent to see if he was supernatural like his father. The inherent problem here was that Stiles was then and always will be covered head to toe in moles, freckles, and birthmarks.

walk walk (fashion baby) by rightsidethru

Derek shrugged a shoulder and moved the chopsticks through the broth. “Cora’s decided that she wants to transfer out to Berkley, and Uncle Peter has decided to relocate here again. Unfortunately, his reputation is preceding him and not even the three grand we’re offering for the photoshoot is enough to get a model to stay.”

At hearing the amount of money that Derek was actually offering to pay someone for one temporary job, Stiles choked on his noodles and began wheezing for breath as he went into a coughing fit. “Three? Three grand? Three thousand dollars??”

Three thousand dollars would be enough to pay for his rent for the next few months. Or—pay for the upcoming month and give Stiles a chance to buy some of the more advanced books on magical theory that Elder Potter was willing to let Stiles borrow but not keep. Being able to buy his own copies… Stiles’ fingers twitched in almost immediate booklust.

“I’ll do it,” Stiles announced.

Cause I Want You (all to myself) by LadySlytherin

Stiles has an odd habit of licking Peter, seemingly at random and without much thought. Peter takes a lot longer than he should to figure out why.

or

Six Times Stiles Stilinski Licked Peter Hale…and one time Peter licked Stiles instead.

If I Could Kiss You Again by Triangulum

“Summer plans?” Peter asks, eyes on where Isaac is now trying to inch along the ceiling beam toward the wall where he can slide down a pipe.

“Leaving for Stanford in September. Saving the world and working in between now and then,” Stiles says. “Why, gonna miss me?”

“Considering I’ll be left alone with Derek? Yes,” Peter says.

“You’ll have Cora,” Stiles says. “And Isaac will be here to make up a few high school credits.”

There’s a shriek and a thud as Isaac loses his grip, falling on top of Erica and Boyd, sending them all to the ground in a heap.

“Yes,” Peter says flatly. “Thank god for that.”

OR

Five times Stiles kisses Peter and one time Peter kisses him.

Orbital Distance by neglectedtuesday

Artemis, the capital city of the Moon, where movies are born and stars are made. The crown jewel of American cinema and simultaneously Hollywood’s biggest rival. The money may be dollars, it may be counted as the 51st state but the studios run this city, making cinema and waging war. No real bloodshed but equally cutthroat in its own way. Peter has devoured article after article about the industry, from in-depth journalism to gossip rags, desperate for every detail, every scandal, every glorious moon moment.

Hooverville by twothumbsandnostakeincanon (somanyofthekids)

Town to town, train to train, tent to tent.

By 1932, the dust had begun to blow and the jobs were gone.

Anonymity was a byproduct of looking for work, which made it both necessary and convenient.

Stiles had enough secrets of his own to know to look the other way when he saw something that shouldn’t be possible.

The ghost of a tail giving enough balance to disembark a moving train.

Near silent Latin whispered on the edge of a tent encampment.

A flash of burning eyes.

He had more than enough to worry about without adding the oddities of others, and besides- having unusually sharp teeth certainly didn’t make a man worse than the ones running from the wife and kids they couldn’t feed.

So Stiles kept his observations to himself. He kept his everything to himself.

Until he met a man. One with eyes so blue they seemed to glow- and then they did.

Stiles tried to look away, but for the first time he was stopped.

“Don’t be like that sweetheart. Aren’t you curious?”

Rhythm of the War Drums by HyperLittleNori (Shiguresan)

The foreboding song of the drums rumbled through the stands above, made his heart, his blood pound with their increasing rhythm. He’d seen this so many times now, heard the sickening, morbid excitement of the rabble. He readied himself for the carnage, but even nearly a year after he’d first stood in this spot, it still filled him with dread.

As always, he watched the sandy arena through the barred steel gates. They vibrated with the movement, with the almost deafening sounds of the crowd and the drums. A sea of guards stood at his back, but they were not there for him…

Two Worlds Collided by Bittah_Wizard

It was always meant to be Stiles and Peter.

Always.

A Stranger Comes to Town by Bunnywest, DiscontentedWinter, Twisted_Mind

Peter claps his hands together once. “Right! Let’s start getting to know each other, shall we? We can all take turns introducing ourselves, and explaining who we are as writers. I’ll go first.” He stays standing, and spreads his arms wide for a moment. “As I hope you all know, I’m bestselling author Peter Hale. If there’s been a terrible mistake and you didn’t mean to be here, this is your chance to run.”

He gives another charming smile to the tittering biddies on his right. He sketches a dramatic little bow, and then goes on. “Twice a year, I come out here to teach The Masterclass on writing, providing new talent,” he winks at the MFA-wannabes on the left, tucking his hands in his pockets, “with a safe environment to share your work and equip yourselves with the tools for success. I’m looking forward to getting to know you all this weekend.”

Keep You Like An Oath by Green

After 7 years in prison, Peter has important matters to attend to — and at the top of his list is the young mate he left behind, unclaimed for their own protection. But, for all his good intentions, Stiles has always needed him — now more than ever.

Too Much Of A Good Thing by GracieBirdie

Stiles can’t just leave Boyd and Erica chained up in a hunter’s basement, and if the only person willing to listen to him when he asks for help is a formerly dead psychopath? Well, Stiles supposes he could do worse. But of course nothing in Stiles’ life is ever just that simple…

All The Things We’d Do by GracieBirdie

Stiles’ time travel spell doesn’t work out quite right but he figures he should make the best of it, starting with Laura Hale.

The Promises Of Yesterday, The Pledges Of Tomorrow by ShippersList

Stiles is a kid with serious concentration issues and definitely not a guide—let alone a guide strong enough to calm down a feral Sentinel wolf. It’s just not possible.

Thighs Verse by Bunnywest

I’ll give you what you need, pretty boy. And you can call me Sir.

The hairs on the back of Stiles’s neck prickle at that, and his dick throbs. He clicks on the profile and the picture that pops up is UN-FUCKING-FAIR. Jesus Christ on a bicycle, nobody should look like that. The man’s staring into the camera, a smile that’s almost a sneer on his face. And what a face it is. Intense blue eyes, cheekbones like cut glass, and a strong jawline covered in the perfect amount of stubble. His neck, what Stiles can see of it, is thickly muscled, and Stiles can see the beginnings of a tattoo that travels down. There’s the tiniest scattering of grey at his temples, and Stiles breathes out, “Oh yes, Sir,” as he drinks in the details on the profile.

Or, the one in which Stiles experiments with Grindr, and finds his Sir.

The Boy Sleuth by Shey

Stiles is eight when he discovers a box of his mom’s old Nancy Drew Mysteries in the back of the guest bedroom closet.

Magnificent Mischief by twothumbsandnostakeincanon (somanyofthekids)

“Marvelous Miss and the Magnificent Mischief!” the carnival barker shouted just outside the corridor with all the food tents. “Come see Miss Paige do amazing tricks with her talking raven! He not only speaks, but he jokes! He teases! He philosophizes!”

Escaping by Green

“We have to go. Now, Peter.”

Peter’s holding his apartment door open, standing in shock, looking at Stiles. “What? How do you even know where I live?”

The Chasm and the Clash by twothumbsandnostakeincanon (somanyofthekids)

Stiles has dreams of the Alpha after he dies. It makes no sense. He didn’t know Peter before… did he?

Did Peter know him?

And why does his head hurt so much?

[strangepixels]

Erwin: Here to take my lunch money Teddy?

Military Guy: Hey, you call him Mayor.

Erwin: Wow, where do you keep his water dish Mayor Teddy?

Mayor: I warned you before Pries, mind your own damn business. Quit pokin’ around, same goes for the newcomer. Heh, I always knew you were a pansy. Tsk tsk tsk, you gays are a stain on this community.

Erwin: *laughs* Oh Ted, your knuckles must hurt from dragging so much. Why don’t you and your beefcake square dance back to town hall and pretend to be important.

Mayor: You’re gonna pay for that you little shit!!

[maplefalls]

that’s me - mayor beefcake

[border2borderentertainment]

Pat Rocco is such an important part of gay history. Here he is with SF mayor Harvey Milk. Watch "Pat Rocco Dared" to learn more. #FilmFestival #PatRocco #PatRoccoDared #GayHistory #GayFilm #lgbtq #Hollywood #Beefcake #Filmmaker #FilmHistory #Documentary https://www.border2border.ca/patroccodared https://www.instagram.com/p/CdLtuJZrFBx/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=