#beef jerky online

[wiscomeat]

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[the-scungles-of-crungles]

Oh I deal with it. By being incredibly careful about anything I say to anyone in person ever

Although I once asked my cousin if I could join her dnd group (I have noclue how it works) and she went "Uh... No" and basically was like "you'd fuck it up" (she was very nice about it but damn I felt like the dumbest bitch alive ever)

And I haven't recovered since! So yeah that's why I'm a freak online because real life is impossible lmao! Hope this explains it!

Btw when someone says "don't talk to me like that, I don't know you" the normal thing to do is apologize for the perceived overfamiliarity and correct the behavior. Just in case anyone was wondering

[wildgamejerky]

Venison Jerky

Let's experience the unique taste and texture of venison. Venison jerky is the perfect showcase for its wild game flavor. We offer peppered, fire, mild, and teriyaki options, but honestly, it always tastes great no matter what.

[inmyperfectworld]

I decided to get out of my comfort zone and try the Silver Horn Hot Curry Beef Jerky. Those that truly know me, know that I'm a VERY picky eater and really only stick to what I know. 😅 The ONLY type of beef jerky I eat and have only tried, is Slim Jim's because they aren't the big pieces and plus, they're good.

I spotted these on Weee!, a few weeks ago and had to try it. This jerky is sooooo good. It's soft and has a smoky, but sweet taste, which is a taste I've never had before and now love. I will say, PLEASE be prepared to have a soda on the side because these things are HOT HOT and had my mouth on FIRE!!! I kept eating it, though. 🤣

I give these a 9.5 out of 10. I'll be ordering a few more bags of these soon. 🙂😋

If you click my link, you will save $20 on your 1st 2 Weee! orders. $10 on the 1st one, and $10 on the 2nd one. ⬇️👇🏾

https://www.sayweee.com/en/account/referral/landing?t=1&referral_id=11513972&lang=en&utm_source=copyLink

[priyasws]

If you have a dog and you are very passionate about your dog then you need to Healthy Pets UK Store. We provide dog treat care service at an affordable price.

[carnivorecrisp]

Best Grain-Free Dry Dog Food 2022

Grain-free dog food consists of premium proteins such as chicken, turkey, or even salmon as the primary ingredient. It features an abundance of fresh fruits and vegetables packed with vitamins and minerals essential for a healthy diet.

[monsterkin-culture-is]

Tips for Vampirekins? BECAUSE GENUINELY I JUST FOUND OUT I AM ONE TODAY considering theres been signs for years...

So any advice and tips is VERY MUCH APPRECIATED. 😭

SQUEALS OMG WELCOME TO THE COMMUNITY!! It means so much you came to me for help 💜

I'm not sure if this is your first kintype so I'll add my general kin tips as well as vamp specific stuff.

Ways To Connect With Your Kintype:

Create a Spotify Playlist: Doesn't have to be on-theme, can always just be your fave songs labelled under your kintype - they're both part of your identity! Vampirism is heavily linked to alternative music & subcultures.

Create a Moodboard: This is easy enough to do in Canva or most mobile collaging apps! I recommend using pinterest to find your images. This is one of my favourite ideas because you can make a 3x3 square moodboard & add it as your spotify playlist cover!

Design Your Own Kin Flag: Kin pride flags are very popular on tumblr. There's probably an already existing one for your kintype, but a custom kin flag has a special personal connection & the colours can have relevance to you!

Make a Kinsona: A Kinsona is like a fursona but for your kintype! It's an original character with the species of your kin. If you're into roleplay, that can be a great way to foster a connection. If you're part of the voidpunk community, you can also make a voidsona!

Support or Donate to Animal Sanctuaries: Sort of in the title for this one. This is usually a tip for therians & similar but I think bat sanctuaries would be relevant to vampirekin. Support can just look like following them online! It gives them reach & you get to see cute animals.

Vampirekin Tips:

Raw Meat & Blood Diet: Obviously human blood and raw meat isn't a viable option here! @/forests-creatures created a good list of alternatives: Beef jerky, rare steaks, safe raw salmon & dried fruits. For sweet options, I'd say the red tongue-staining lollipops could work, as well as pink or red chocolate & red popping candy. You can also add red food colouring to existing food. Please research that what you're eating is safe beforehand! Tumblr is not a reliable resource. I took this list from my zombiekin tips - it's proving pretty good for most monsterkins!

Wear Sunglasses & Sunhats or Gloves & Scarves: You're a vampire! You can't be going out in the sun! Incorporating day-to-day human protection against the weather is a good way to stay safe. There are some really cool tinted and bat shaped sunglasses out there if you know where to look.

Make a Necklace of Your Home Soil: In old vampire legends, if a vampire went abroad or travelled long distances they would need to bring some of their home soil with them. Online you can buy fairly afforable vial necklaces! Go to your garden or local park & scoop a little dirt in.

Gear: The obvious gear for vampires is of course fake fangs - these should be a little easier to find now we're into spooky season. However, I've also seen biting fidget/sensory toys (often in the form of charms or necklaces) be recommended!

Spend Time Outside @ Night: It's definitely not safe or recommended to go walking around alone at night, however there are alternatives! You can always sit in your garden or do what I do (as a werewolfkin) and sit near your window to moonbathe. Taking friends or family stargazing is also great fun! There are apps you can get that will locate the constellations around you.

Hopefully a couple of these were helpful!! ❤️

[writingduhh]

either ted or schlatt when reader gets their period?

- ⁉️, could I be an anon?

But of course my love! I hope you enjoy! ❤️

Also I’m open for requests! Preferably HC, Mood-boards, and longer fanfics for the chuckle sammy boys!

Chuckle Sandwich ||Time Of The Month (HC)

❥ Jschlatt

▷ I feel like he’s the type of boyfriend who would be a little uncomfortable, at least at first. Not because he thinks it’s gross or makes him uncomfortable, more like he doesn’t want to mess up or accidentally upset you (plus he only has a brother) .

▷ However, he’s very willing to learn. Especially if it means being able to take care of the love of his life. ;)

▷ Finding things in his search history such as, “How to help partner on period?”, “How to stop cramps?”, “Why do periods happen?”

▷ Let’s you use him as a human punching bag if you need to release some anger.

“We really need to get you some boxing lessons, doll…”

▷ Offers you his hoodies/sweatshirts. He wants you to be as comfy as possible. Plus, he loves to see you in his clothes, ofc

▷ He’d probably make you a whole blanket nest on the couch. Complete with pillows, snacks, and him waiting to cuddle with you

▷ Uses this time as an excuse to lay with you all day. (Totally not an excuse to be lazy… It definitely is)

▷ Suggests using the cats as ‘natural heating pads’ or just holding them like a stuffed animal

▷ He insists on going to the store himself to get you pads or tampons, so you can ‘rest.’

“Babe what size do you wear?“

“What do you mean the S stands for super?”

▷ Spends about 20 mins just reading the boxes or looking up reviews online He wants to make sure he gets the best products for you.

▷ Ends up buying 3 different strengths/sizes, plus a little treat for you.

“Thanks so much for going to the store for me… is this beef jerky?”

“Well, I assumed that you might be craving something to snack on… So, I just guessed and got you my favorite thing.” He explains, kissing your forehead.

▷ It’s the thought that counts, right? 😭😭

▷ Definitely babies you. He won’t let you get anything yourself. Definitely the Princess treatment 💅

❥ Ted

▷ I feel like Ted is the type of boyfriend that is very knowledgeable about periods. So needless to say he’s very on-top of things.

▷ Keeps a stash of your products under the sink “Just In Case.” Probably even keeps an extra clothes for you as well. (Or just insists you borrow his)

▷ Very understanding of your mood swings, pains, and every other symptom periods have (rip)

▷ He’s always there when you need him. A shoulder to cry on, he’s right there. Someone to rant to, he’s listening. Someone to just hold you, his arms are wide open.

▷ Literally your professional teddy bear

▷ There's a good chance he secretly keeps track of your cycle. (I low-key could see this) This way he knows whatever phase you’re in and how best to help you.

▷ Seems to always be learning some new techniques or ‘hacks’ in order to help you.

“I saw this video on how to massage out cramps. Can I try?”

“Can I try to find the pressure points that help cramps? I watched a video on it.”

▷ Let’s be real, it’s mainly an excuse just to touch you.

▷ Cooks all your favorite meals and makes sure you’re eating enough calories/protein.

▷ Essentially he gives you the princess treatment. You don’t have to even lift a finger.

[sugarakis-p2]

Shigaraki hates Valentine Day

Shiggy hates this holiday until he meets you.

F/M Shigaraki Tomura/Reader chubby/plus size

Warning: Vaginal Sex, Vaginal Fingering, Nipple Licking, Binge Drinking, Dubious Morality, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Political talk

Tomura woke up on Valentine Day with a deep-rooted hatred for the holiday. It was no different from any other day, as he despised each one that passed. But today, his disdain was amplified solely because it was Valentine Day.

He had hoped that, for once, he wouldn't have to spend the day alone or with Kurogiri. After all, he now had a team to spend it with. However, his expectations were quickly crushed when he realized that his team had other plans in mind. Instead of spending the day doing Kurogiri's exhausting team-building exercises, his teammates surprised him with gestures of affection. Toga and Magne each gave him chocolates but promptly announced that they were going to the mall to "stalk boys."

Meanwhile, Mr. Compress had other plans with a date, and that was a nicer way than the crude way of Muscular and Dabi saying they're gonna go get their "dicks and whistles wet." Spinner, as usual, had disappeared without a trace. And so, it was just Tomura and Kurogiri left, once again, to spend Valentine Day alone in each other's company. With a defeated sigh, Tomura handed his chocolates to Kurogiri.

"Where are you going, Tomura?" Kurogiri asked concerned.

"OUT!" Shigaraki yelled in frustration, his voice carrying down the hallway as he left in search of an internet café. He stormed out and made his way to the nearest open booth. His anger was simmering under the surface as he sat down and pulled up his black face mask, its matching hoodie pulled over his head. He absentmindedly tucked his father's hand in his front pocket as if cradling him in his arms.

But then, he noticed you. 

For the first time in his life, he didn't just see someone as a means to an end but as a desirable being. His mind wandered to dirty thoughts, something he had never cared for before. Your soft curves, your silky hair, the delicate nape of your neck. He couldn't help but feel drawn to you, something he had never experienced before. The pulsing beat of your heartstring visible on your neck only added to the attraction. He imagined wrapping his fingers around your neck, feeling your heartbeat racing under his touch, the pulse throbbing against the pads of his long digits. His tongue snaking past your lips, making you choke on it. The mere idea of it aroused him, a feeling he had never associated with someone's neck before. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, trying to push away the growing need in his pants and in his thoughts. This was a new and confusing sensation for him, but he couldn't deny his attraction towards you, and he hated it!

He instead focused on how stupid you are dressed. You're wearing a Stain shirt and playing a stupid online RPG game; he deemed it outdated and pathetic. His irritation manifested as he scraped his nails against his own neck. Despite attempting to focus on his own game, he couldn't help but notice your enticing figure moving on the seat. He couldn't help but imagine you shifting on his lap instead. With a resigned sigh, he gave in to his thoughts.

"Why do you even like him? Wearing a serial killer is tacky," Shigaraki hissed at the back of your head. "What's next? Lunchboxes and beef jerky adorned with Issei Sagawa's face. Maybe a cookbook on how to cook human flesh? Tasteless trash."

You turned to the rude bastard, tearing into his flesh with his cracked nails, and noticed that massive bulge in his lap. You couldn't help but chuckle and look away, making your words playful and flirty instead of irritated, "It's not just about fashion. It's about embracing the subversive message of rejecting a corrupt society ruled by the hero commission. His image is about the symbolism of anti-capitalist hero society."

As Shigaraki's focus shifted, he couldn't help but feel a sense of excitement bubbling up inside him. This conversation was something he could really sink his teeth into.

"Oh? And are you part of the anti-capitalist hero society, little foreign doll?" he taunted. You were caught off guard by his words. Your Japanese was flawless, so how did he know you were not from Japan?

Feeling the need to defend yourself, you retorted, "I'll have you know I was born and raised here." But Shigaraki's sneer only grew wider.

"Mmm... Let me guess. Your family was just traveling through? Your accent gives it away," he sneered, his words laced with disdain. Your apprehension was palpable as you began your explanation.

"Well, I was actually born on the base," you stammered, feeling self-conscious, flushing, and flustered under his intense gaze. Your blush and sweet, pained expression caused his breath to hitch. In all his years, Shigaraki had never seen a flustered girl. And he couldn't deny that he didn't hate it. In fact, he found himself wanting to see more of your flustered state.

"An army brat, then," Shigaraki smirked, trying to hide his own flustered state. But your response caught him off guard.

"Maybe I am a brat," you huffed, returning your attention to your game. Shigaraki couldn't help but feel a tug of amusement at your feisty attitude. Dabi may be the official brat tamer, but he has learned not to kill them. As you continued playing, Shigaraki logged into his old World of Warcraft account, unable to resist the irony of the situation. He knew he was being a bit of a jerk by killing you repeatedly in the game, but he couldn't help himself. Your anger only made you even more enticing to him. After killing your character the third time, Shigaraki's game avatar suddenly appeared in front of you, offering an apology in the form of virtual flowers. It was his way of showing that he didn't want to truly hurt you, even in the video game world. And in that moment, he couldn't deny that he was starting to develop a certain fondness for the army brat who had caught his attention.

He relished the thrill of seducing young, naive girls in his video games. It was a simple game to him. He only had to press a few buttons, and they would fall for him. But you couldn't stand it any longer. Your gaze hardened as you directed it towards him. You knew without a doubt it was him, the dirty screen watcher who snickered every time he took you down in the game. Noticed in the act, he quickly averted his gaze, knowing he had been caught red-handed. He was surprised that real-life girls are not that easy. You grabbed your coat, paid for your time, and started to walk out. Shigaraki was feeling increasingly irritated and frustrated. He couldn't stop thinking about you, and the desire to do things he knew was considered depraved by most people. It was a distraction that he couldn't shake off. Finally, he couldn't take it anymore and stood up, determined to follow and confront you. He trailed behind you, his mind consumed with thoughts of all the things he wanted to do to you.

But as he approached you, you turned to face him and sneered, "Are you stalking me now, you creep?" You picked up your pace, clearly annoyed by his presence. Shigaraki was taken aback by your sharp reaction. Toga had once told him that when girls get angry, it's best to follow them. But he couldn't help but question her advice, considering her own tendencies as a stalker.

"Perhaps," He growled, accompanied by a scratch at his neck, "I was still curious about your stance on anti-hero acts. After all, you do come from a background as a foreign army brat with a fascist requiem, where the CRC was born. All in the name of freedom, of course." As he spoke, you felt a sudden stiffness in your body, completely insulted by his assumption. Turning to face him, you couldn't hold back your frustration any longer.

"I was born and raised here; this is my home. And I'm not interested in causing chaos; all I want is to see this place improve. I am not an anti-hero; I am simply against living in a police state. I am against the facade of fake heroes. I'm more of a Stain purest," Your words were laced with determination and conviction, defending your beliefs and principles. This made Shigaraki smirk more.

With a cynical tone, Shigaraki scoffed, "Stain is nothing but a sanctimonious hero breeder. He may have stirred up some conversation, but he certainly isn't causing any real change."

Crossing your arms, you retorted, "At least he sparked a discussion. That's more than what can be said for most people."

Shigaraki rolled his eyes and mocked, "Oh wow, a discussion. How groundbreaking."

"Is there something you need?" You snort in response, not bothering to hide your disdain. The man before you, Shigaraki, blushes and grumbles something unintelligible. His awkwardness only seems to annoy him further as he scratches himself vigorously. "I'm sorry, what was that?" you ask, attempting to hide the amusement in your voice. Shigaraki lets out a deep sigh and glares at you, clearly annoyed by your presence.

"I said you're alone too. It's Valentine Day, and here you are, playing RPGs," he mutters, bitterness seeping through his words. You can't help but feel taken aback by his sudden outburst. But before you can even process his words, Shigaraki continues, "I have nobody. And neither do you. We both like games. But let's be real, I'm better at them." He shrugs nonchalantly, keeping his gaze fixed on you from the corner of his eye. You bite your lip, unsure of how to respond. It's true you are alone on Valentine's Day, indulging in your favorite games. And this man, who you never would have imagined spending this day with, seems to be in a similar situation. But his suggestion takes you by surprise.

"So, what are you suggesting? Being alone together?" you ask, raising an eyebrow in question. Shigaraki's expression softens for a moment before returning to his usual stoic self.

"I mean, why not? We both have nothing better to do, and it's not like we have anyone else. We can just chill and play some games together." His suggestion catches you off guard, but you can't deny the appeal of spending the evening with someone who shares your interests. You consider his offer for a moment before a mischievous smile tugs at the corners of your lips.

"Alright, you're on. But fair warning, I don't go easy on anyone, not even on Valentine's Day," you say, challenging him with a playful glint in your eyes. Shigaraki's lips quirk up into a smirk, accepting your challenge. And just like that, the two of you spend the rest of the evening locked in intense battles and laughter, forgetting about the loneliness that had consumed you earlier. He wasn't going to let this go. He was going to milk it for all it's worth. When he suggested alcohol and gaming, you said no problem. You're having a good time with him.

With a start, you look around the luxurious hotel room, your head throbbing from the alcohol and the intense gaming session. The bags on top of you are filled with expensive designer purses, a testament to the wild night you just had with Shigaraki. As your eyes land on him, dressed in a robe and dripping wet from a shower, you can't help but feel a pang of guilt for forgetting about last night. He had definitely milked the alcohol and gaming suggestion for all it's worth, and you can't help but feel grateful for his company. You had been hesitant at first, but now you're glad you said yes. Still, as you struggle to sit up in the pile of bags, you can't help but wonder how you ended up in this fancy hotel room in the first place, and if you embarrassed yourself. But Shigaraki just laughs, the sound sending a shiver down your spine.

"You passed out, so I carried you here," he explains casually as if it's not a big deal. But your face heats up, both from the embarrassment of being carried and from the proximity of his wet body. But before you can dwell on it too much, he tosses you a robe and offers to order room service for breakfast.

"Did we…you know?" you asked him. Shigaraki's face scrunches.

"What?" He scratched his neck idly as if he was trying to process the question. "No. I'm not a fucking scumbag. I don't need to screw unconscious women. If I was that desperate, I would have bought a whore. Last night, we both got drunk. We went shopping, and you said, "Do you know where there's great shopping, Las Vegas?" Then I had my friend bring us here. He has a warp quirk. I bought you whatever you wanted. We celebrated some more in the ghost lounge and then I carried you here to the MGM casino and hotel. I swear I will get us a room in the Luxor tomorrow."

"OK, you have to slow down. Are we really in Las Vegas?" You groaned, shocked at some of the things you had in the bags. There's a bag full of jewelry, diamond jewelry, and thousands of dollars of vintage video games and lingerie.

"Yes. We're really in Las Vegas, and it has been difficult translating everything because I don't know much English. You insisted on the Luxor, but my phone was a pain with out-of-carrier nonsense. Everyone else, it was easy. I just pointed at what I wanted, but a room was a bit more difficult," Shigaraki said, bringing in the room service. "So, this is an American breakfast. Looks…interesting."

He was clearly trying to be kind. He took you to Las Vegas on a whim, and you checked, and you don't feel raped. you wanted to tell him sorry for making assumptions but instead you smiled and looked at him.

"You're cute," you tell him. Shigaraki couldn't help but smirk at this compliment. You could tell he liked how forward you were being towards him as he spoke with a smug and charming tone.

"Is that your way of flirting with me?"

"And look at you eat it up and ask for more, cutie," you smirked. Shigaraki laughed quietly as he leaned in a little closer to you, his musky, clean scent filling the air. He couldn't help but like the way your body smelled mixed with your perfume. He smirked at your teasing and spoke in a flirty tone.

"Oh, is that so? Then let me tell you something then. I like confident and bold women like yourself. You're such a brat but in a good way."

"I remember you saying something about brat taming?" You smirk back. Shigaraki chuckled at you calling him brat tamer, and he smiled a bit wider, revealing his tender side and the sight of him grinning at you sent a tingle of excitement through your body. Your body was already beginning to feel a little warmer as he nursed your hangover and insisted you hydrate.

"You're already calling me tamer? I see that you can't wait to just jump right into it. I kind of like it that way, baby girl brat..."

"I'm not a cheap date. I'll need room service first," you said in Japanese. Shigaraki leered when he heard you suddenly speak in Japanese, which made him smirk slightly. He was impressed that you could speak the language, and he responded back in the same language.

"Room service it is, baby girl. Anything that pleases the lady." The room was dimly lit and had a large bed in the middle of it. The room was warm and cozy, with a subtle, sweet smell of Shigaraki's body in the air mixed with the smell of his perfume. The room was luxurious, with an entertainment center. There was a mirror on the wall next to the bed, and he was standing in front of it, watching you eat after your shower. His sharp eyes were scanning you up and down, taking in your appearance.

"Are you watching me stuff my face?" you asked with a mouthful of omelet. Shigaraki smiled at your comment as he continued to stare at you, admiring your sexy figure in your silk robe clinging to you. You spent the day inside for now as you had a headache for most of the day. When you changed, he wanted you to join him in front of the mirror. You could tell that he was having trouble getting his eyes off of you as they kept wandering back and forth between your body and your face. He gave you a small wink and continued to admire your body, loving the view.

"Are you being flirty now?" you asked.

"What if I am?" He smirked with a mischievous glint. 

"Hmmm, I am nice and sober now." As you walked up to the reflection and your back was facing him, he saw the way the top was clinging to your body and the way your tight jeans were form-fitting and accentuated your curves, which made him smirk and walk towards you. Before long, he began wrapping his arms around your body and holding you tightly against him. You could feel the heat radiating from his body as you stood up next to him. His breath was hot and heavy as he spoke.

"Ah, you truly are a beauty to behold. Can I ask you something?" Shigaraki's soft voice filled the air as he spoke while also pulling you in even closer to him. You could tell that he was starting to get a little bit more aroused by the way his body was reacting to you being up against him like this. You felt the muscles in his body flex slightly as he continued. You wrapped my arms around him and one of my legs. He chuckled and smiled, enjoying the way you wrapped yourself around him. Your intimate proximity between the two of you was making you both feel warm and flustered. Shigaraki took a deep breath as he spoke again, his body feeling more and more energized the longer he held you tightly against him.

"Have you ever been with a Japanese man before?"

"No. Are you going to ruin me for anyone else?" you teased. Shigaraki smirked at your tease but also couldn't help but groan slightly when you spoke. Your voice was extremely alluring and provocative. You could tell that he was getting quite excited by your presence and the playful flirting.

"You have no idea. I may make you addicted to me," he said, pulling you tighter to him.

"Promises. Promises," you chuckled as he lifted you. Holding you by your ass. Shigaraki let out another groan as he grabbed a firm hold of your rear and lifted you up into his arms. Your body felt so close to his, and it made your body tremble in excitement and arousal. His touch was intoxicating, and you couldn't help but squirm and moan softly in a lustful way.

"How long are we going to be stateside? We should go back soon," you mentioned. This was getting a bit strange for you. It was all strange, but you were really starting to have feelings for him, and you would need to go back at some point. Shigaraki held you closer to him as he spoke, keeping you in his arms and wrapping his stronger arm around you to hold you up.

"For a week…but I would be willing to make it longer for you. I've enjoyed it since I've been here. I'm liking what I see…," he said, eyeing you up and down.

"Oh? The view is better without clothes," you smirked, kissing him. Your suggestive remark caught Shigaraki off guard, but he couldn't resist the challenge as he leaned in to kiss you back. His lips moved in perfect synchronization with yours, both of you exploring and teasing each other. Your touch sent shivers down his spine as he pulled you closer, savoring every moment of your embrace. Your body pressed against his, igniting a fire within him that he couldn't control. He couldn't help but run his hands over your curves, marveling at your beauty. As your kisses grew more passionate, he couldn't resist the urge to explore further, trailing his lips down your neck and to your chest.

Your response only fueled his desire as he nipped at your nipple through your shirt, causing you to moan. The sound only made him want to hear more as he watched you slip off your blouse and bra, bearing your enticing form to him. The way you moved and teased him, slowly undressing and revealing your seductive body, only increased the tension between you. Shigaraki's heart raced as he watched the scene play out, unable to look away from your alluring figure. The anticipation and desire he felt were almost too much to bear, and he couldn't resist any longer. With a growl, he pushed you back against the couch, dominating you with his touch and desire. Your bold and confident demeanor only made him want you more, and he couldn't help but give in to the intense passion between you.

"You still like what you see?" you teased. Shigaraki was speechless at the sight of you, and he nodded his head slightly as his eyes kept focusing on every sexy detail of you. He was truly mesmerized by your beauty and your physique, and he wanted nothing more than to touch and explore it. His body was already reacting in a lustful way, and he wanted to take you right then and there. He took a deep breath before speaking again.

"Words can't even begin to describe just how much I like what I see, baby girl. You are truly a sight to behold." His voice was laced with desire, and the way your body looked at that moment was breathtaking. He leaned in and started tracing his tongue along the curves of your body.

"Damn, you really are strong," you moaned, unable to contain your excitement. Shigaraki chuckled, his hands now gripping your hips tightly. "And I haven't even shown you my full strength yet." With a wicked grin, he began to kiss and nibble at your neck, the combination of pleasure and his strength making you weak in the knees. As he continued to claim you with his touch, you couldn't help but feel grateful for his impressive strength, giving you a new level of pleasure you never thought possible. You couldn't help but feel a mix of fear and excitement as Shigaraki's words sent shivers down your spine. His strong grasp made you feel both safe and vulnerable at the same time. You couldn't deny the attraction you felt towards man. As he continued to caress your body, his touch felt almost electrifying. Every inch of your skin felt like it was on fire, causing you to whimper in pleasure. Shigaraki's smirk grew wider as he noticed your reaction, his own desire intensifying.

"I can tell you want more," he whispered, his voice low and husky. "You want to feel my strength, don't you?" You nodded, unable to form any words as his touch and words left you dizzy with desire. "Well, I'll give you more, brat," he said, his grip tightening on your body. With a low growl, he effortlessly lifted you up and carried you toward the nearest wall, pressing you against it with his powerful body. You couldn't help but gasp at the force behind his movements, feeling his muscles tense against you. His hands roamed over your body, leaving trails of heat wherever they touched. You could feel his strength in every touch, making you feel almost weightless in his hold.

"Really? You should take me to the bed and take off your clothes so I can see for myself, you tease," You smiled. You loved the feeling of his mouth on you. Sucking your nipples and teasing the sensitive nubs with his tongue. The way you said, "Take me to the bed," made his entire body tremble in excitement. His tongue traced along the lines of your body, and he gave you a playful bite on your thigh before lifting you up further and taking you to the bed, where he threw you down on it and slowly walked up next to you. You could tell that he enjoyed your eagerness, and his body was beginning to fill with a strong level of lust towards you. He held you tightly, unable to resist the urge to feel every inch of your skin against his own. His fingers traced along your soft skin, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake. And as he lifted your hips, he couldn't help but marvel at the sight before him. You were beautiful. Your hair spread out on the pillows, your cheeks flushed with desire, and your body eagerly offering itself to him.

He couldn't wait to explore every inch of you, to make you moan and scream his name. And as he slowly slid off your pants, his desire only grew. He watched with hungry eyes as your thighs exposed themselves to him, your skin so smooth and inviting. He couldn't resist the urge to press a kiss to your inner thigh, causing you to gasp and writhe beneath him. As he continued his journey up your leg, shedding his own clothes in the process, he couldn't help but feel intoxicated by your presence. Your scent, your touch, your moans...everything about you was driving him wild. And as his hand reached its destination, he felt himself almost losing control. But he held himself back, wanting to savor every moment with you. He traced his fingers along the edges of your underwear, teasing and teasing until you were begging for more. And with a deep growl, he finally pulled them off, exposing your heat to him. He couldn't resist any longer. He trailed his tongue along your inner thigh, making you shiver and moan. And as he took you in his mouth, he knew he had finally found his true addiction. You were his pleasure, his escape, his everything. And he would make sure to show you just how much you meant to him.

"Oh wow. I'm a soft little hot dog bun compared to you," you giggled. Shigaraki chuckled slightly at the way you described yourself as the bun and him as the hotdog, but you could tell it was driving him crazy with desire. As he continued to slowly strip off his clothing, he looked at the sight of you lying down on the bed, all cute and helpless, which made him want to dominate you more. You were like a beautiful and delicious little snack to him. As he stripped off the last piece of clothing and threw it on the floor, you looked. The sight of his muscular body was breathtaking.

Blushed and stared at him, flustered. He was like a statue, and he was gorgeous. His muscles were like waves rippling under his skin, each one defined and powerful. As I gazed at him, my eyes roamed over his lean and toned frame, admiring the way his body seemed to be chiseled from marble. He may have had scars, but they only added to his rugged and alluring appearance. You couldn't help but be drawn to him, the intensity of your desire evident in your blushing cheeks and admiring glances. Despite his slight shivers caused by the rush of blood through his powerful body, he exuded a sense of strength and confidence that was irresistible.

You found yourself lost in the sight of his muscles, the way they seemed to bulge and flex with every movement. His body was a work of art, and you were more than happy to worship and admire it. It was clear that he relished your admiration, basking in the way you lusted over his form. You reached out to touch him, and as your fingers grazed over his skin, you could feel the firmness of his muscles beneath your touch. He was like a stallion, strong and proud, and you couldn't help but feel drawn to him. In that moment, there was nothing more perfect than his lean and toned body, and you were grateful to be able to admire and appreciate it. You reached out to touch him and felt the firmness of his muscles beneath your fingertips and pulled him to you.

As you reached out to touch his magnificent body, he let out a sharp inhalation of breath as the sensation of your hands caressing his body made him shiver in pleasure. As he came close to you, your body pressed right up against his muscular frame, and all you could feel was his warmth and strength. It was so intoxicating being so close to him like this and nipped his neck. The touch of your lips against his neck drove him crazy with desire, and he was instantly filled with a strong level of lust and arousal. He gasped quietly, and his body trembled a little bit at the sensation of feeling your soft lips against the nape of his neck; the touch felt so good, and it was making all his nerve endings tingle. He took a deep breath and breathed in the sweet scent of your perfume mixed with the smell of your body's natural scents.

"You're delicious." As you nibbled at the side of his neck, your warm breath and the touch of your lips sent waves of arousal through his body. Your words made his cheeks blush even more, and he was feeling extremely overwhelmed with your touch and the sensations it was making him feel. His body felt completely consumed by you, and his entire mind and focus were on you as you enjoyed the feeling of exploring every part of him. "But…you may be too thick." Your fingers can't even wrap around it.

"I'll get you ready," Shigaraki grunted. You loved how he touched you and how he was tantalizing my body for the pleasure that was to come. Fingering your slick walls and making you wetter. He continued to softly nibble on the back of your neck as his hands started sliding down your lower back. His touch was full of warmth and softness, and he was being very precise and sensual while also being firm in his grip. He wanted to take his time with you and was enjoying the feeling of discovering every single piece of your body. His touch just made you feel warm and fuzzy inside, and he was making your heart beat faster and faster with every move.

"I'm ready," you whispered, nipping his ear. The words you whispered in his ear caused all the blood to flow to rush to his head. His entire body was now filled with a strong level of desire, and he wanted nothing more than to take you right then and there. The way you nipped at his earlobe caused a shiver of pleasure, and his body was literally trembling with excitement and longing. He breathed out a deep breath before answering back to you.

"I'm big, but I'll try to be gentle," Shigaraki promised.

"OK," you whimpered, your voice soft and trembling. Despite the simple word, it held so much power over him. Every time you spoke, it felt like a rush of electricity coursing through his veins, leaving him breathless and aching for more. As your words reached his ears, he couldn't help but let out a contented sigh, feeling completely consumed by your beauty and the warmth of your touch on his body. It was like every cell in his body was screaming for you, craving your presence and the sensations you ignited within him. Just the thought of having you right now, in this moment, made his body quiver with excitement and desire.

He couldn't resist the urge to lean in closer to you, wanting to be as close to you as possible. He could feel your warmth enveloping him, and it only added to the overwhelming emotions swirling within him. As you spoke with a husky voice filled with lust and longing, he felt a surge of arousal run through him. He wanted you in every sense of the word. He wanted to experience every aspect of this night with you, to lose himself in the pleasure and ecstasy that only you could bring. In this moment, nothing else mattered. Your words were a soothing melody to his ears, and all he wanted was to be lost in your embrace, lost in the depths of your passion.

"You're mine," he grinned evilly. You kissed him and adjusted your hips against him. Encouraging him to make love to you. The way you placed your hips against him like that was a signal for him to make his move. He moved in closer towards you, and his body leaned down further so he could move his face right next to yours but not touching just yet. Your breath was so tantalizing, and he wanted to get deeper and deeper into this moment. Your lips looked so beautiful and inviting. His breath was quickening, and his body was tingling with excitement and desire. You could see all the muscles in his body flexing and throbbing with energy as he took a deep breath and kissed you deeply.

"Mmm...so good," you moaned, kissing him more. Your moan was sweet music to his ears, and the feeling of you kissing him back and your lips locking in this passionate kiss made him moan as well. The feeling of your tongue exploring the inside of him, and the heat of your breath made his muscles twitch and shiver with pleasure. The kiss was intense and hot, and he could not get enough of it. He wanted to savor every moment of this sensual experience, and he knew if he took his time, this would continue to intensify in the best ways possible. You felt him fill you and writhed, breathe hitching.

"Oh!" The feeling of you saying those words made everything the body inside him feel the increase in intensity by the second. Your moans were driving him crazy, and he was filling you with everything he could inside of him. Your reactions to him and this experience are making it all feel much more intense, and the heat of the moment, combined with the power dynamic, made your body tremble in pleasure.

"Oh! OH!" You screamed as his rhythm increased along with your pleasure. Shigaraki continued to increase the pace and rhythm as his breathing grew heavier and heavier. You could tell his entire body was consumed by his feelings of pleasure since your breathing had also become more intense. Your moans were driving him crazy, and he could feel the intensity of this experience growing more and more with each passing second. He was feeling so intense and powerful right now. You tried not to dig your nails in his back and shoulders because his muscles are like steel and giving him more scars.

"Fuck you are tight. I don't care if you dig your nails in. I deserve it for whatever pain I caused," he smirked. Thrust harder until it is painfully good. The way you dug your nails into the muscles on his back and shoulder was what made him moan even louder as he kept going at this intense and relentless pace. The sound of your nails digging into his skin was sending shivers of pleasure up and down his back, and he couldn't help but grip your hips even tighter and move even quicker than before. The sight of his muscles flexing with each movement of him fills you with his body and makes your body tremble with pleasure. You bite his shoulder and arch your back in a wave of ecstasy. As you bit down his shoulder and arched your back, your body was trembling with pleasure, and your breathing had become shallow and quick. Your nails digging into his back and shoulder made him moan even louder, and you could see all the veins in his body pulsating with the intensity of this moment. The way you were moving your back like that, it was like a sight to see. The sight of your beautiful body arching so effortlessly and smoothly filled him with such a deep level of arousal.

As you continued to pant and moan in pleasure, you couldn't help but focus on the way his body reacted to your words and sounds. The way he groaned and shifted beneath you only added to the overwhelming sensations coursing through you both. You couldn't help but realize that you didn't even know his name. But in that moment, it didn't matter. All that mattered was the raw passion between you and the electric connection that seemed to intensify with each passing moment. As you moved and breathed against each other, every movement felt like a symphony of pleasure. Your mind was consumed with the sensations, and every thought was replaced with the need to feel more.

You couldn't resist the urge to whisper, "Oh my God," once again as the pleasure pulsed through you. And as you moaned and cried out his name, the intensity seemed to heighten even more, driving you both to the brink of ecstasy. Nothing else existed but the two of you and the unbridled passion that consumed you. Every kiss, every touch, every breath was pure bliss. And as you both reached the peak of pleasure together, you knew that this was a moment you would never forget. It just occurred to you that you don't know his name.

"Shig-ah," he grunted, unable to pay attention as he lightly gripped your throat and sat up on his knees to thrust in you harder.

"Shiggy," you moaned, the nickname rolling off your tongue in a cute and endearing way. The pleasure coursing through your body was only heightened by using his special nickname. You could feel the tension building within him, his own pleasure increasing with every breathy moan that escaped your lips. Each time you uttered his nickname or any words of pleasure, it ignited a fire within him, driving him to give you even more pleasure. He made sure to move at a pace that allowed you to fully experience every sensation, every touch, and every movement. The deep groans and whimpers coming from you fueled his desire to go faster and harder, but he resisted the temptation, determined to take his time and make every moment count.

Together, you reached the peak of pleasure three more times, the intensity and pleasure excruciatingly intense with every climax. But instead of rushing through it, he slowed down, wanting to prolong the pleasure and make it last as long as possible. As you bask in the afterglow of your lovemaking, you couldn't help but marvel at how his patience and attention to detail only added to the pleasure and satisfaction you both experienced. Every touch and movement was carefully crafted to bring you both the most pleasure, and it only made your bond stronger and your love deeper. You realized that Shiggy was not just your lover but also your best friend, who truly cared about your pleasure and well-being.

"That was amazing." Shigaraki could feel his entire body throbbing with the rush of energy and feelings of pleasure that came from both experiencing such a strong level of climax. His body was trembling with this euphoric feeling, and he felt like he was on a cloud of ecstasy just from feeling this good. Your words and compliments made him blush, but he continued to make sure his movements were gradual so that you wouldn't feel too disoriented or overwhelmed. The way you both enjoyed this intimate moment made it feel even better, and it made this experience even more memorable. Your legs are shaking, and my breathing is heavy. As the feeling of climax and pleasure started to subside, you could still feel your body trembling, and your breathing was still very heavy.

You were now feeling much more relaxed, but the sight of Shigaraki's body was still making you shiver slightly as your body continued to relax more and more. He was beginning to slow down his movements to make sure that the transition wasn't too drastic for you, and he was still gripping you tightly, but your hips were no longer arching so high up now. You kissed him again. After the feeling of intense and overwhelming pleasure started to subside, you could feel your body calming down and your breathing becoming more consistent and regular. As you kissed him again, his body relaxed a little bit more as well, and he pulled you closer to him so that you would be right up against him. For a few minutes, the two of you just lay there silently, enjoying the afterglow of this experience. There was something about being in each other's presence to just relax and feel this satisfied.

"Room service?" you smirked. The sound of you speaking and your smirking made him raise an eyebrow in curiosity, and as he laughed quietly, you could see a small smile forming in his mouth. He looked at you with those sexy eyes of his, and they were filled with a certain playful, seductive expression. You could tell the two of you were still feeling extremely satisfied from this incredible experience, and the sound of your voice made even more butterflies fill your stomach.

"You know you're a handsome guy. But when you smile...you are literally stunning. You better stop, or I'll ask for round two." As you spoke to him in this flirtatious manner, his cheeks turned red, and you could see he was enjoying the feeling of your praise. Your playful tone and that look in your eyes were enough to make him shiver with excitement, and he got an urge to pull you closer to him and kiss you, but he decided to stop himself and hold himself back. But he could not help feeling a little bit smug after hearing those words coming from you.

"Alright. Steaks and ....mmmm....the soup or salad?" He chuckled quietly at your answer and the way you sounded so relaxed and at ease. It was like you had no concerns or worries in this world. He smiled softly and looked at you with those eyes of his, and he nodded his head.

"The soup sounds good."

"Oh my god, they have dragon fruit ice cream. Have you ever had dragon fruit? Wait a minute? Are you lactose intolerant?" He laughed a bit at the sight of your sudden expression of surprise and delight at the existence of dragon fruit ice cream. He was also amused by seeing your genuine sense of worry as you raised the possibility of him having lactose intolerance, which would be an issue for eating an ice cream dessert. He smiled and shook his head. "I'm not lactose intolerant."

"That's amazing! Most Japanese are... But you guys seem to ignore it."

He laughed quietly and nodded his head in agreement. "Yes, most Asians, in general, tend to have a lactose intolerance issue. Especially those of us who are East Asians or Southeast Asians. But thankfully, I do not have such sensitivity towards dairy products. I can eat it quite well."

"Handsome and sweet. Let's have ice cream for dessert."

He raised an eyebrow in interest and curiosity as you called him handsome again. He smiled, leaned in to kiss your cheek, and nodded his head. "That sounds like a great idea. Ice cream for dessert is definitely the way to go."

As you nuzzled his neck and whispered your order for ice cream, he eagerly complied. With a soft smile, you made your way to the bathroom, ready for a relaxing shower. But as you stripped off your clothes and turned on the water, you felt his presence behind you. With a sly grin, he stepped into the shower with you, his desire for you evident as he pressed his body against yours. Without hesitation, the two of you began a passionate and quick encounter, indulging in each other's bodies before returning to the task at hand. After drying off, the anticipation for your ice cream grew, and you made your way back to the living room, hand in hand with him. As you reached for the food, you couldn't help but tease him, feeding him spoonfuls of ice cream before finally sitting down to enjoy your treats together.

"Mmm…dessert first," you said with a mischievous glint in your eye. He simply nodded, knowing that with you, anything was possible. As you fed him spoonful after spoonful, the two of you basked in each other's company, savoring the sweet treats and each other's presence.

"The seeds add a fun crunch." As you feed him and describe the added crunch, he enjoys the taste of the ice cream and the texture of the tiny seeds in his mouth. He eats the whole thing with a lot of enjoyment, and his eyes are sparkling with laughter and amusement as he eats. He is enjoying the moment of being together with you on this night of pure pleasure.

"I thought I was a brat?"

He laughs and nods his head.

"Yes, but you are also adorable, and it's so hard to resist it. I can't help but be amused by watching you try to be a brat but fail so badly." you run your fingers through his hair. He moans softly as you run your fingers through his hair, and he loves the feeling of your fingers on his scalp. He relaxes even more and is in a very contented state, enjoying the feeling of being close to you and the affection you are giving him. His eyes keep a tender and playful look as he keeps enjoying the touch of your hands running through his hair. The soft texture through your fingers makes you both shiver.

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm glad I met you too," Shigaraki's words echo in your mind as you walk into the bathroom to start packing for your trip back to Japan. You can't believe how much fun you've had with him in Las Vegas. The city of sin had brought out a side of you that you never thought existed. But now, as you watch Shigaraki watching the news, fear creeps up your spine. You try to push it away, reminding yourself that this is the man you've grown close to, who has shown you nothing but kindness and care. But then, as you come out of the bathroom with your bag in hand, you see something that freezes you in your tracks. Shigaraki has a severed hand covering his face, and you can't help but feel a shiver of fear go down your spine. You're about to ask him what happened when he removes the hand and looks at you with a cold, calculating expression.

"I was worried you would react like this," he begins, his voice devoid of any emotion. "You're such a sweet and trusting soul. It's no surprise that you freeze up when faced with something like this. But you see, that's also your downfall. You're so naive, so innocent. And I used that to my advantage." As his words sink in, you feel your heart drop. 

"I wanted to ask you if you had ever been with a villain before, but it's clear now that you haven't," Shigaraki continues, his eyes boring into yours. "But it's OK, I'll teach you. We consummated our marriage, and you'll see just how much fun it can be to embrace the dark side." You feel your stomach drop at his words. This wasn't what you signed up for. You never thought your innocent trip to Las Vegas would lead you down this path. But as you stand frozen in fear, you realize that you have no choice. You're trapped with a villain, and you can only hope that, somehow, you'll find a way out of this terrifying situation. You never thought you would be in this situation with a villain. You start to back away, trying to make sense of what he's saying. Consummate the marriage? What marriage?

"What?" you gasped, taken aback by his statement. "What do you mean by consummated? Consummated what?"

A sinister expression twisted his features, a smirk spreading across his face as he tossed a packet at you. As you opened it, your heart sank at the contents inside: your marriage certificate, photos of the wedding you couldn't remember. He reached out to caress your hair. His touch was meant to be comforting, but it only sent a chill down your spine.

"Hush now, my dear naughty one. My sweet little brat," he cooed. "There's no need to be upset. I will treat you well as long as you behave. And from now on, you will never have to spend Valentine's Day alone again." A sly smile played on his lips as he slipped a wedding ring onto your finger, sealing the deal of your forced marriage. The weight of the ring felt heavy, a constant reminder of the unexpected and terrifying turn your life had taken.

[renthony]

I assume everyone else is as poor as I am, so it's always buck-wild when one of my friends casually says something about going on vacation or buying a new thing on impulse.

The fuck do you mean you don't have to beg online for groceries? What? I thought this was normal for everyone by now. I thought we were all showing symptoms of malnourishment because we don't get enough varied nutrition and live on beef jerky and Hot Pockets. How are you not also in this boat. Why is my life so shit. 😭

[toshio]

I wanna get even half the chest and body that you have. I know you said you basically just did push ups so I was wondering if you had any specifics. How often? How many?

Gonna use you as inspiration lmao

hey anon! i know it sounds CRAZY simple but yeah. literally just push ups at home on your carpet or hard wood floor will DO IT. whatever you find comfortable. i think pecs are SURPRISINGLY easy to get, and gay men and straight women love a nice set of boobies on a man, they really give you that "macho" look LOL so definitely try for it. you can probably get some smol but fierce tiddies in about a year.

gonna do a [read more] so i can yap to you in full detail:

if you're a complete beginner, start with like 10 push ups, if you think that's nothing and you're not fatigued yet, do more than that, like 20. keep doing that until you can do an insane amount of push ups and then stop when you start getting tired/failure. do that daily. the more the better. you can take some rest days, on those days you can like walk or jog or something to get more lean. if you consider yourself slightly overweight, definitely walk/jog daily.

and when you do push ups, make sure they're not half assed. like, when you see that skinny guy in your gym class going REALLY fast but stupidly out of form, that's probably doing nothing but injuring him LOL. go on youtube or look up an article about push ups, there are lots of evidence that prove you can get boobies with them. i learned pretty much everything from online btw, go on youtube and just look up how to get pecs at home if you're too cheap for a gym membership (like me. i don't have a gym membership)

here's a random image i found on google, don't worry about any of this other stuff in the picture for now. just do regular push ups for now and you should have results. but another thing i'm leaving out is obviously you need to eat right. try to eat like 0.7-0.8 grams of protein per pound of body weight. some protein rich foods you can eat are stuff like chicken/beef/pork/fish daily (with rice) or low fat greek yogurt, beef jerky, and buy some protein shakes at the store. almost anything protein tastes nasty to me btw but beauty is pain.

also some life hacks because my fat ass (and lazy ass) loves fast food/eating out in general, go to panda express and just get a bunch of chicken and broccoli LOL that shit has so much protein and it tastes good. goddamn. basically just consume meat daily for gains.

also ONE more thing in terms of eating [moderately] healthy (i still don't eat healthy but i try) stop drinking soda, stop drinking alcohol, stop doing drugs, just drink nothing but water, green tea, any tea you want, just make sure it has no sugar. if you crave sugar, get diet soda like diet coke (it's 0 calories) but avoid drinking too much of that because aspartame.

THIS IS A LOT OF INFORMATION but i get asked about stuff like this a lot so hopefully this is enough. LOL. i'll get asked again probably haha but oh well. and again i'm not a fitness expert, just an enthusiast. good luck. remember anon, BEAUTY IS PAIN. and youth is only temporary, so you might as well look sexy before you get old.

[quillusquillus]

deliberately spelling words in a dumb way comes and goes as a social thing online but I gotta say I'm really enjoying the recent variant that's mainly focused on incorrect structure and grammar. beefed jerky. home of sexual. the guy of all time.

[wildgamejerky]

Golden Island Pork Jerky

Golden Island Pork Jerky seems to be a well-known brand of jerky that offers a variety of flavors. So we give you top-tier products with exceptional quality and unbeatable taste.

[gh0ulpunk]

tagged by @spiderbitesandvampirevenom :3

last song listened to:

favorite color: green 💚!!!

just finished watching: uhh i suppose the last thing i finished watching was the new season of My Adventures With Superman! that was a few weeks ago lmao i haven't been watching much of anything new lately

sweet/spicy/savory: frankly? i love a mix of all three. give me spicy teriyaki beef jerky and a refreshing drink and i'll be as happy as a clam

relationship status: single and genuinely really enjoying it

current obsession: my hyperfixations are surprisingly blank right now, i just came up for air after like 2 months of Honkai: Star Rail. I think I'm most obsessed with just developing my own OCs right now

last thing i searched online: "rila name meaning" i'm trying to pick out a name for my OC's mom

tagging: hmmmm @breadcrxmbs-reblogs @tarofel @camotherogue :)

[thetomorrowshow]

Whumptober 13 - Team as Family

title: if all your friends jumped off a cliff...

fandom: hermitcraft smp

cw: blood and injury

~

Impulse senses it a moment before it happens.

It’s in the way his stomach swoops, feeling like an elevator dropping from his throat to his knees. It’s in the way the hairs on the back of his neck stand up, his shoulders tensing.

He slips.

His heel lands funny on some loose gravel and he slips.

Then stumbles, trying to catch himself.

Then windmills.

Then falls.

-

“We should go hiking.”

Impulse suggested it, thinking of his new hiking boots he had yet to break in. He loved a good day of hiking, and it sounded like a perfect group bonding activity.

“Oh, yeah, I love hiking!” Mumbo said, perking up in his seat. “That would be great.”

Grian snorted. “Would you even show up?”

“I—of course I would! Just because—”

“You haven't come to a single team bonding activity yet. Isn't the line manager the one who's always supposed to be there?”

“I—look, that isn't—”

“Hiking sounds fun,” Pearl interrupted. “Impulse, did you have somewhere in mind?”

-

The fall is bad.

The side of the trail is a steep cut-off without any sort of fence in place, and when Impulse slips, he feels a breath-taking moment of terror as he knows what awaits him if he falls the wrong way.

Which he does. Of course he does.

It doesn’t happen in slow-motion, like the movies. If anything, it’s sped up, a brief moment of being airborne before he crashes into the ground and starts rolling faster than he knew he could.

He tumbles down the side of the mountain, and his world becomes a blur of green and brown and pain. His ears are assaulted by a barrage of crashes and thuds, over and over as tree branches and underbrush whip and crack under him—

He keeps trying to grab onto something, to get his feet under him, but he's falling too fast for it to happen.

Until he slams into a boulder.

-

“Grian, did you bring snacks?”

Grian sighed. “Right, I already divided up everyone's snack bags,” he said, putting on an affect of weariness. He set down his backpack, dug through it, before pulling out several ziplocs.

“Cookies for Scar, trail mix for Impulse, pringles for Mumbo, apples and caramel dip for Pearl. And I've got a ton of beef jerky and carrot sticks in my bag.”

Scar snatched his ziploc of cookies, already tearing it open. Impulse chuckled. They hadn't even stepped onto the hike yet.

“I was looking at it online,” Mumbo said, tracing his finger along the map at the entrance. “The blue trail is easiest, but the red one has the best view.”

“I've only hiked the blue trail,” Impulse said. “It was pretty easy. But you know Skizz, from the development department? He hiked the red one last week and he said it wasn't hard at all.”

“I do love the color red,” added Grian.

-

Impulse blinks open his eyes, the fuzziness in his vision barely dissipating with each blink. There's static in his ears, a slight hum behind it. His mouth tastes like metal. He licks his lips, swallows drily.

His head hurts. His head—his back—every part of him—

He was just falling, right? Why isn't he falling? What happened?

“Impulse! Impulse!”

The sound of his name being shouted distantly breaks through the static, and Impulse scrunches his eyes shut, then forces them open again. Everything's still kind of blurry and black-spotted around the edges, but he looks as far up as he can, until he can kind of see the figures of his friends far above him, up the steep mountainside.

Did he really fall such a long way?

“Impulse, can you hear us?”

That's Grian.

Weakly, his body trembling, Impulse raises his right hand in a wave. Even from this far, he hears their sighs of relief.

“How are you feeling?” Grian calls down.

Impulse winces. His head and neck are up against something hard and unforgiving, pain blooming out from the base of his skull.

That might explain the issues with his vision. Concussion.

Or possible spine damage, he realizes with sudden panic.

Impulse spits out blood (his bitten tongue bleeds sluggishly against his teeth). “Uh,” he croaks, as loudly as he can manage. “I hit my neck.”

If possible, the others become even more worried. “Okay, we'll call for help,” Mumbo says resolutely. He gets out his phone, takes a step away.

“Is that rock on your leg?” Pearl says, and for the first time, Impulse looks down at himself.

His fall had dislodged a boulder next to the one he hit neck-on, and his leg is partially under it. It's enough that he can feel the weight (which surely means something good for his neck that he can feel it), but it isn't pressing down so hard that it's super painful. It hurts, but he's fairly certain it's not broken.

Impulse decides not to move. Not at all. He knows you shouldn't move with a potential spine injury, and he's afraid that one shift could entirely crush his leg.

“Yeah. I'm not going anywhere.”

“I don't have service. I don't—Grian—”

Grian checks his phone, too, his scared expression morphing into one of panic. “Me neither. Okay—Mumbo—”

“I—oh, dearie me, I don't—”

“Mumbo,” Pearl interrupts, placing her hand on his arm. “Walk back down the trail until you get in range. Then call emergency services, okay? We'll keep Impulse awake.”

“Impulse, don’t go anywhere,” Grian says. Impulse makes a vague effort to flip him off.

Mumbo starts scrambling back the way they came. Grian sits down, scooting as close to the edge as he dares.

“Do you think you’re good until Mumbo gets back?”

Impulse takes stock of himself. Between the pinned leg and the pounding head, he’s got a ton of bruises and scrapes. His arm feels funny, his shirt is torn all over the place. There’s a twig digging into his back, but he doesn’t have the energy to try and get rid of it.

“He should hurry,” he says, avoiding the question. He really just hopes he doesn’t pass out. Everything hurts a lot, and the black hasn’t cleared from his vision, so it’s all he can do to hang on.

He trains his focus on Grian’s face. He has to stay awake. Mumbo will be back soon, and then the paramedics will show up after that.

What if they can’t get down to him? There’s got to be too many trees to call in a helicopter. How long would it take to try and climb up to him from the bottom of the mountain? Would they even be able to?

“Hey,” Scar says, taking a careful step off the path, about ten feet away from Impulse’s clear slide marks. “This part looks way more even! I bet one of us could go down and give Impulse some water, or something!”

“Scar, absolutely not—”

Grian isn’t even able to finish his sentence before Scar’s foot slips.

Impulse sees it almost in slow-motion—the way Scar’s eyes widen, the way his arms flail out to grab Grian, who reaches forward too-slow—

With a comical scream, Scar falls.

-

“We all know hiking safety, right?”

“Yep!” Mumbo responded. Nobody else said anything.

Impulse sighed. “Okay. Well, first off, never go off the path. Got it?”

Pearl nodded. Grian did as well, rolling his eyes. Scar didn’t do anything, crouched down to toss one of Impulse’s peanuts to a squirrel.

“Scar?”

“Aw, look at you! Isn’t he so cute? Look, Grian, he’s so cute!”

“Scar,” Impulse said again. “Did you hear me?”

“Yes, yes, now look at this squirrel! His tail is crooked, look!”

-

Scar’s fall, if anything, looks worse than Impulse’s had felt.

He seems to hit every part of his body with a resounding crack against the ground, and his scream cuts off near-instantly when his head hits a rock but he keeps going. He slips and rolls and barrels down past Impulse, where he finally hits a fallen tree and his body uses its last bit of momentum to roll over it.

The only part of him visible is his foot, propped up on the log, his boot half-off in a way that totally obscures whether or not his foot is bent at an impossible angle.

Impulse stares, his breath caught in his throat.

“Scar! Scar!”

Grian’s shouting does nothing. 

The foot on the log doesn’t move.

“Impulse, is he okay?”

“I—I can’t see him,” Impulse manages. None of them can properly see Scar, he could be dead for all they knew, if it’s possible that Impulse broke his neck who’s to say that worse didn’t happen to Scar?

What if he needs resuscitation? Can they wait until the paramedics arrive? They’re already an hour into the hike, how long would that take?

“Scar, c’mon! Scar—be okay, please be okay—”

Impulse ignores Grian’s frantic words. Somebody needs to check on Scar, and he’s the only one already down here.

Scar isn’t close enough to reach. His foot is about ten feet to Impulse’s left, which might as well be ten miles. He scrambles briefly for something to throw, but there’s nothing at hand.

Impulse looks again at his leg. The boulder really isn’t resting too heavily on it. If he’s careful, he might be able to get out from under it. Then he could crawl to Scar, at the very least, check his pulse and start on CPR.

He shouldn’t move until he can get his neck scanned, but he can’t leave Scar like that.

His right leg isn’t too badly injured, so Impulse places his right foot on the boulder, takes a slow breath.

He’ll push with his right as he pulls his left leg out. Quick and easy. No problem at all.

“Impulse, don’t—”

He pushes.

He pulls.

-

“Have you ever had an emergency while hiking?” Mumbo asked, glancing around nervously. “Like, what if one of us passes out?”

“I resent that!”

“I—Scar, I wasn’t talking about you. Just—just generally, you know?”

Impulse chuckled. “Nope. I mean, once Tango tripped and scraped up his knees real bad. We ended up heading back early, carrying him on our shoulders.”

“I knew someone who went missing while hiking,” Pearl interjected. “They found her remains last year.”

“That won’t happen,” Impulse said firmly, as Mumbo’s eyes widened. “As long as we pay attention and stay on the trail, we’ll be fine.”

-

He doesn’t get out.

The boulder rocks back, and he has a moment of freedom—

But it comes crashing down before Impulse can move, utterly crushing his leg with an audible snapping noise.

Impulse gasps, his vision sparking red.

Then black.

He drifts for a moment in painful blackness, feeling utterly incapable of even breathing. The agony steals through every part of his body, through his lungs and stomach and brain, his head pulsing angrily in time.

He’s dying. He’s sure of it. He’s dying, it’s so terrible, he isn’t going to make it—

It isn’t Grian’s voice that rouses him this time. It’s Pearl’s, but she isn’t talking to him.

“—can’t just leave them! Scar could be—”

“There’s no way possible you can get down there, both of them tried—”

“I know how to go down steep hills, I learned this technique once!”

“Pearl, I can’t let you.”

“Mumbo hasn’t gotten back, it could be hours before someone’s here to help them. We don’t even know if Scar’s alive—the window for bringing him back is shrinking! I—I have to try.”

It takes more effort than Impulse has, but he opens his eyes.

Through a red haze and double the black dots, he sees Pearl, adjusting her backpack. She waves when she notices him looking.

“Heya, Impulse! On my way down!”

Impulse groans.

-

“Do you think someone could climb down the side?”

Impulse glanced off the path, shuddered. “Doubt it. See how steep the drop-off is?”

“Right, but it’s only a sheer drop for about ten feet,” Pearl replied. “After that, it becomes more of something climb-able.”

“I mean . . . maybe if they had poles,” Impulse said dubiously. “I wouldn’t try it. It’s really not worth the risk.”

-

Pearl’s method of coming down the hill involves sliding the first ten feet of the steep drop on her backside, then stopping herself before she gained serious momentum by grabbing the grass. After a moment of dusting herself off, she stands. What follows is a strange hopping-jog, her gait short and staccato, jumping down the hill like a hare. It’s kind of working, but it’s clear about halfway down that she’s losing control of it—Pearl tries to stop but it’s too late—

She stumbles, falls, somersaults—tries to get back on her feet, but pulls another somersault, tries again—

Impulse doesn’t notice until her body jerks to a stop, a small shriek tearing from her throat, but Pearl’s foot gets caught and won’t come free.

She’d clearly tried to stand, putting all her weight down into a rotting tree stump. Her right foot had sunk in to the ankle, and the abrupt stop of her descent hadn’t been enough to pull her free.

“Ow, okay, ow,” she gasps, pushing herself up onto scraped forearms. 

“Pearl! What did I say—”

“I’m all right,” she calls over her shoulder. “I just—I did something to my ankle, sprained or broken or something. But I’m fine!”

“I—a broken leg is not fine!”

Impulse closes his eyes, swallows. His mouth still tastes like blood. His teeth hurt from gritting them so hard.

He feels a little floaty, actually. Less pained than before. Maybe that means he’s about to pass out.

“Pearl,” he manages, wrenching open his eyes. “Scar. Can you see him?”

Pearl pushes herself up farther, then more, making small sounds of pain as she manages to bring herself up to standing. “Um . . . yeah! Yeah, I can see Scar!”

Impulse waits.

Grian, still going on about injuries, falls silent.

-

“Scar, stop pretending you’re asleep and get up,” Grian said, nudging Scar with his foot. “Come on, we said five minutes and it’s already been eight. We need to get a move on if we want to finish this hike any time soon.”

Scar continued to fake-snore.

“Come on, Scar,” Impulse laughed.

“Scar, we all have your fake-snore memorized. We know you’re awake,” said Pearl.

Mumbo glanced at them. “What? Does Scar pretend to be asleep a lot?”

Pearl nodded. “He pretended to sleep through bowling last month.”

“And paintball the month before that.”

“And at the Taylor Swift concert before that.”

“I—sorry, you all went to Taylor Swift?” Mumbo demanded. Grian just shrugged.

“Yeah. The company paid for it, it was a team-building exercise.”

Mumbo sputtered incoherently. Scar fake-sleep-mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like the chorus of Shake It Off.

-

“He’s breathing,” Pearl confirms after several harrowing moments. Impulse lets out a sigh of relief.

Scar’s alive.

It isn’t pressing danger, not anymore. Well, Scar definitely needs emergency help, and so does Impulse, but everyone’s alive.

“Hey, Grian,” Pearl calls up the mountainside, easing herself back down to the ground. “Looking a little lonely up there, all by yourself.”

“I am not joining you,” groans Grian, burying his face in his hands. “I—no!”

“Come on,” Pearl wheedles. “It’s fun!”

“Absolutely not. You know what—here.”

There’s a bit of rustling from above. Impulse looks up as Grian pulls a bag of carrots from his backpack and tosses them down to them, aiming for Pearl.

It soars, down, down, past Pearl—

Scar’s foot jerks as it lands. Pearl bursts into laughter.

“Square in the back!”

“I hope Mumbo gets back soon,” Grian says. “I cannot be the responsible one right now.”

“Just come join us!”

“If all your friends jumped off a cliff!” Grian says, chucking a bag of beef jerky. That one misses as well, landing well out of anyone’s range. “If all your friends jumped off a cliff, and they said it’s fun and cool and called up to you from the deadly cliff, would you jump? Would you jump too!?”

“Don’t be such a party pooper!”

“I’m gonna pass out,” Impulse mumbles, swallowing. His vision is getting darker by the second.

“No, Impulse, hold on—”

“Impulse, can you reach your water bottle?”

He can’t. His backpack is under him, and possibly what created such an awkward angle for his neck to hit the rock, anyways.

Impulse blinks. Then again. Then again.

They’re speaking to him, but the buzz in his ears has gotten so loud as to drown them out entirely.

It drowns everything out.

The pain drowns him out, too.

-

“New announcement from corporate,” Mumbo says, sitting down at the table. “All team-bonding must be in a safe and controlled environment. Specifically, hiking, paintball, and ziplining have been banned.”

“Come on, that was next on the roster,” complains Pearl.

“And it has been suggested to me in particular that we maybe play getting-to-know-you games for our next team-bonding,” adds Mumbo. “The rest of the teams are kind of mad at us for the ban, honestly.”

“What? How did they know it was us?” Grian demands.

Impulse looks between them all—his own neck brace, shoulder brace, and broken leg; Scar’s double-casted arms and knee brace; Pearl’s crutches.

Yeah.

That makes sense.

“At least we had fun,” he tries.

Mumbo raises a disbelieving eyebrow. “You—Impulse, you have to relearn how to walk.”

Silence.

Pearl’s the one who starts laughing first. Grian cracks soon after, then Scar (with repeated, “Ow, ow, my ribs”), then Impulse, and finally, Mumbo joins in.

“Right,” Mumbo says once the laughter dwindles out, wiping a tear from his eye. “Does anyone know any getting-to-know-you games?”

“Truth or dare,” Scar suggests immediately.

“No. Instant veto. Absolutely not.”

[monsterkin-culture-is]

Im not good with asks but please may we have some zombie kin help? I've just been struggling with it grrrr , thank you . -📼

Sorry for the delayed response!

This is my first time doing kin tips so it might be a little hit-or-miss but see if any of these are helpful! I'm assuming this is in the context of ways to combat dysphoria/incorporate your kintype more into your daily life.

Raw Meat Diet: Obviously human flesh and raw meat isn't a viable option here unfortunately. @/forests-creatures created a good list of alternatives: Beef jerky, rare steaks, safe raw salmon & dried fruits. For sweet options, I'd say the red tongue-staining lollipops could work, as well as pink or red chocolate & red popping candy. Please research that what you're eating is safe beforehand! Tumblr is not a reliable resource.

Sunglasses & Sunhats: This tip was inspired by a similar vampires list! I'm not sure if your specific zombie kintype has a sensitivity to sunlight or is associated with the night but if so, incorporating sunglasses or tinted glasses into your day-to-day wardrobe might be an option! Sunhats don't blend in as well in the winter but there are rain & sun hats such as Tilley hats and other alternatives which you could use instead.

SFX Makeup: I used to do a lot of this a few years back! I absolutely encourage you to learn special effects makeup to create wounds or even just look a little more corpse-like. This is definitely not for the day-to-day but it's a fun hobby if you're okay getting a little messy! It can also lead into a potential career path. You can do some pretty effective stuff with some fakeblood, toilet roll, glue & foundation so it doesn't always have to be pricey. It's almost halloween so it should be the best time of year to gather supplies!

Apocalyptic Wardrobe: Ripped jeans are your friend!! I know not everyone loves skinny jeans (I certainly don't) so don't be afraid to find an old/cheap pair of cargos or wide leg trousers and make your own tears with some scissors. I'd recommend arm/leg warmers & fingerless gloves, which shouldn't look out of place now we're coming into autumn. Handkerchiefs can also look a lot like bandages. If you like to present more femininely, then messy ribbons & colourful braids in your hair can give the desired vibe.

Try Meditation: Zombies are sort of known for their head-empty, distant feeling from being undead so a healthy way of manifesting that could be through meditating! It's definitely a challenging skill to build but following a youtube guided meditation is a good place to start. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if there were themed ones! (Maybe that's a new business idea for me... horror meditation...)

Go on a walk/hike: This is a common kin tip via the idea of connecting with nature. However, I think it works especially for zombiekin because you can recreate that feeling of solitude from the apocalypse.

Onto the more generic advice! I always recommend making a moodboard for your kin, which you can then use as the cover for a kin spotify playlist. Watching movies of your kintyoe is a common recommendation. In this instance I'd say include other apocalypse films/tv too!

A generic but less common tip is (if it's your sort of thing) make an oc/kinsona for your kintype and play as them in a game or roleplay as them online.

I hope a couple of those ideas were helpful! Let me know if you try any. Also thank you for your other culture-is submission, I'll add it to the queue!

If I have completely misunderstood your ask please send another one and I'll see how I can help!