#bee sucks at blogging about real things

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 9/24/2024

you might be wondering “is my dear friend tumblr user girlfriendsofthegalaxy still unemployed?” the answer is yes. take this cat off my hands please i don’t think he’s causing the unemployment but he certainly isn’t helping

listening

via Wendy @dying-suffering-french-stalkers, Huoy Meas' ប្រគល់ក្ដីស្នេហ៍មកខ្ញុំវិញ. figuring out what this incredibly zippy Cambodian rock song is named and what it's about was really difficult bc spotify is a bane upon this earth and won't let you fucking copy-paste and OCR was not working on the Khmer script. i ended up listening to the first couple seconds of each of her songs on apple music, and finally figured out this roughly translates to Give Me Back My Love and is about begging a fuckboy for closure.

via the spotify discover weekly, Night Club's Pretty Girls Do Ugly Things. all Night Club's songs sound the same so if you like one, great news! i had this song on for a full gregorian hour bc, i am only a tiny bit ashamed to say, i was storyboarding a The Man With No Name fancam to this. i think it would go pretty hard.

Smoke you like a cigarette Choke you like a lariat Fatalistic tourniquet Do you want more?

-

reading

thank you mackintosh.

i did not Adore any of these comics from the library. i sort of enjoyed Night of the Ghoul, a one-volume TPB by Scott Snyder and Francesco Francavilla. i think ive blogged about this before but every once in a while i'll get a bee in my bonnet to read some horror comics even though i am a giant baby about horror movies.

Night of the Ghoul is about how you can't save your dad from PTSD but also about a lost horror film and also about the extremely dad behavior of tracking down every scrap of info about an auteur. there's also a monster.

the subtle art changes from present day to the remains of the film to the non-film flashbacks are well done, imo. the cover screams mignola but the inside pages are really fun pulp nonsense. i love a piece of genre writing that rolls around and delights in being a piece of genre writing.

im doing my level best not to get sucked into tiktok but i DO love watching this lady revive antique nail polish and look for dupes for shades from like the 20s. she found an almost exact dupe for a shade produced during wwii which is crazy insane to me!!!

-

watching

The Asphalt Jungle (1950, dir. Huston), it's a very painterly heist noir. i even like Sterling Hayden in one of the more prominent roles, even though i think he generally has the appeal of undercooked dough.

much like Fritz Lang's M, it presents the criminal element of the city as its own class with its own reputation and reference systems. it got in some trouble with the censors for having a VERY clearly laid out heist plan and execution. it's also got the babiest Marilyn Monroe in one of her earliest roles

this was such a gloriously messy movie. everyone is such a fucking mess. this woman only known as Doll is heartbreakingly, head over heels in love with Sterling Hayden's character. she's a little flighty and bumbling and silly, but determined! they're constantly orbiting the gravitational weight of her desire for this man and desire for a real life with this man. and that's just one subplot! she has maybe five minutes total screentime! she should have gotten a supporting actress oscar!!! everyone acted their fucking hearts out and it was so much fun to watch!

-

playing

monument valley is in the netflix games library this month (i don't actually know what their liscencing agreements would even look like, they and the studios they worked with were very tightlipped about that when they were rolling this out three years ago) but i assume it's going to be on the service for a while. i have never played this game, which makes me feel a little bit like a bad gamer. you can tell it's ten years old from some of the color and texture choices, but WOW did literally everyone take inspiration from this game.

this is the platonic ideal of a phone game. i get why everyone went insane about it and there was a brief boom of geometry-based puzzle mobile games. it is MUCH much harder now to get people to pay money to play a game that has a planned endpoint and planned number of levels, so netflix is a good home for it.

i was often frustrated but always delighted. the level below involves making something happening that made me genuinely gasp out loud in glee. well worth the annoyance of downloading the netflix app and scrolling through the poorly labeled and poorly sorted carousel of games.

great retrospective, a bit about how you need to have tiny teams go off and just kind of fuck around and bring weird stuff back, and a lot about how they actually designed the levels

The end result had a pixel-perfect axonometric aesthetic that not only went hard on its references to Dutch master artist and printmaker Maurits Cornelis Escher, but also dug deep into classic video game design, going right back to early arcade machines and 8-bit titles. Each of the ten levels is like a piece of fine furniture, built with invisible dovetail joints and inlaid with marquetry, stuffed with secret compartments and little design flourishes. Gray cites the world of theatre and stage design, as well as graphics, as important keystones in the way the levels were constructed. ‘Ken would always talk about flower arranging, and how you frame a silhouette of a level on the screen,’ he says.

-

making

update on the Phantom Menace fabric: pinked the raw edges and threw it in the laundry again with a very large quantity of vinegar. 50% poly was too high for it to really do anything, which is interesting. it didn’t lessen the seam edge effects either, which is a little annoying bc the seams were so gigantic and that’s a good chunk of fabric to lose. i am going to buy a camp shirt pattern at some point when i have money again but for now it goes in The Box

also! thrifted a pack of o-rings for jars for a dollar and finally put my grains etc in my pretty jars. they’re going to live in the pantry but today they live out on the countertop

[feelbetterlove-books]

Oughhhh okay first of all, I am SO happy to see Bucktommy back on our screens and I WILL be mass reblogging things about them soon, fair warning! I took a bit after the ep to stop jumping up and down about how good it was, but then I came across the subject of this post and so first, to get it out of my system: a rant! It's not about the episode, probably not of any interest to most people, especially Bucktommy fans trying to protect their peace, so feel absolutely free to ignore this, I'll put it under a cut, I just have to get it out. I've been holding my tongue where bobs are concerned for the most part because I don't want to be mean/have a bunch of negativity on my blog/have any of them find and come after me like they're known to do, but idc rn.

So, there's this author I follow on insta, have followed for years, have read a few of her books and had the rest on my tbr. The ones I've read weren't mind-blowing or anything tbh, but for contemporary romances (not my usual genre) I had fun with them. What I really liked about her was that she is so outspoken about all of her books having bi characters: f/f and m/f. Bi4bi m/f, bi woman x straight man, bi woman x lesbian etc. I love to see bi rep and her efforts to make bi characters visible are great, I respected her for it and I found out last season, she's also a 911 fan! A Buck fan! Cool! She ships B*ddi3 but usually idc ship and let ship, I didn't think she was a Bucktommy hater.

That is, until tonight when I went on insta and saw her post. Bee cupcakes as the first pic, I went oh cute, for 911!! But then I scroll through the post and find this bingo card, the more I looked at it, the more I was like 😬 oh so she's a bob, huh? She only cares about Buck and his bisexuality if he's with E**ie? I didn't want to jump to conclusions, but then there's this in her stories (edits by me to highlight what I'm on about):

And I've blocked a LOT of blogs to try and avoid Tommy/Bucktommy hate so getting blindsided by this when I was in such a good mood enjoying our favorite guy's scene sucked. I literally felt sick about it for a while afterwards and I've decided to unfollow her and unhaul the books I own without reading more. It's not the first time I've stopped supporting an artist I was a fan of, granted this reasoning may seem dumb or petty to other people but I just can't get over it, I mean-

You're a romance author with 5 books published, I didn't think it was a stretch to assume you at least had some decent media literacy and appreciation for a good story/a sweet, queer, rom-com inspired ship. But you hate Tommy just because he's in the way of your ship? You champion bi characters, but will hate on the gay boyfriend of one who is breaking stereotypes and making people feel represented because you think his straight best friend would be a better match? Seriously?

And it's not only these two things, I looked her up on tw*tter, which I'm never usually on, but had logged into today to look at Lou's posts, and I found that she follows multiple people who I know to be particularly nasty Tommy haters/bobs. So. Yeah. I'm out of there, I just can't look at her the same anymore, not to be parasocial or whatever but she always seemed cool, I liked her, I wanted to support her work, I HAVE supported her work personally and as someone who works as a bookseller, I've pointed people to her books and sold them.

But now I just have a bad taste in my mouth. There has been SO much hate towards Tommy, Bucktommy, and worse, the real people who ship them, Lou, and even Oliver over the last few months, because it's constantly being stirred up by this kind of B*ddi3 shipper. I would feel sorry for them for how desperate and bitter they are if not for the fact that I simply cannot stand them anymore. They are miserable and determined to make Bucktommy shippers miserable, too.

I just don't get why people can't stay in their fandom lane and leave others alone?? Like, getting mad that Buck's ESTABLISHED BOYFRIEND and E**ie's FRIEND, WHO HE LIKES, was in one (1) scene, when it narratively made sense for him to be there to remind the ga of him, is pathetic. Tommy came to support E at the virtual birthday party of his estranged teenager, and make a heavy scene lighter and you're acting like he's some kind of monster. I can't even, I'm done!

I hope all the bestie boos will start to leave the fandom soon, when Tommy sticks around, because tbh they only care about one thing that's never going to happen and they don't even seem to have fun on their side of the "ship war". They're too busy being nasty all the time, can't talk about their ship without dragging ours down.

Anyway this rant is becoming more generalized than what I planned to say about that person and has already gotten sooo long, so I'm just going to post it to throw all my anger and frustration out there with it and then bury it with happy Bucktommy posts!! If any Bucktommy fan for some reason actually reads this 1. Oof. Sorry! 2. I 💙 you, Bucktommy fans are the best and I'm so glad to be in this fandom despite everything!!

[lovelessbachelor]

9, 11 and 15 for the ask game mwah mwah meah /plat <333

Mwah Mwah Mwah! Okay, I admit I had a lot of fun with this one. So. Long read ahead X'D

a radio fizzles to life, crackling with energy. The broadcast begins, illuminating sharp, tinny voices.

Oh, why, would you look at that! We got our first questions, O joy!

there's the sound of shuffling papers, and someone's throat is cleared.

Okay, these come from blog name cinnamon-phrog. Prynhawn da, Caru! Or, I suppose it is nos, now. I hope you're doing well.

Let's get crack into these queries! Dear, you've been quiet… These questions ARE to you, you know…

A second voice cuts through the static, curling the air, the accent seems unfamiliar.

Ey, yeah, yeah, I know. Ya neva lemme come in ere when ya on air.

Well, I'm also not on air very often. Since when do you keep count?

I don't, but, ey, maybe ya do instead. Ya seem the real bees knees at this thing.

there's a slight pause, a chair creaks.

Aha. Trying to stall? What, you don't think you have the voice for radio?

a splutter can be heard through the static, or it's a spike of interference.

Nah! As if, brah! Your voice was made for radio, anyway, ya can't say nuffin, muffin.

EW, don't call me that. And you'll be fine, we have a script.

Das not a-

there's the sound of frantically shuffling pages getting picked up by the microphone.

Shhhh, stalling!!!

Right, first question :

the host clears his throat, and a beat on the table gets picked up, from the wafery sound of a page being flipped, you can surmise on what it was.

Fresh, whats my beige flag?

…Ya what now? Ya don't even like beige, n'less is like a light brown.

No, no, not like that. I'll be entirely transparent and admit I don't quite know what it is, either. Perhaps the middle of a red flag, and a green flag?

Ohhh, ya, alrigh. I geddit.

Do ya, Fresh? Do ya?

AAAH, shuddup. Oh, ya, I got one.

there's another swell of static smearing the sound, picking up suddenly.

He keeps on tryna-

No I don't!

Yeah, ya do! Ya aaaalways like hey for no particular reason can I measure ya a minute and I ask why and ya like-

the broadcast fuzzes, it spikes like laughter.

-an I walk in on 'im with a roll a that paper and a thing on the floor-

It's PATTERN paper and a BOOK OF PATTERNS!

Ah, I caught ya!

Lies!

it cuts out again, fading in and out before settling in stronger.

Even so, I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to make you a doublet!

Yeah dere is! What am I a blood sucking, door-not-entering vampire?

it's hard to hear, but the host squeaks in amusement

No, you misunderstand! I think that you in a doublet with a peascod belly would be SO-

the connection is abruptly cut off, filling the room with angry static. When it comes back, you can make out a high whistle.

Woahhh, can ya even say dat on radio?

I'm not sure, let's just hope it didn't pick up.

And if it did?

Nnnnext question!

Fresh, what would you consider MY colour, and what would you consider yours?

Are dey seriously askin ME ya favourite colour?

Uhm, yes? Maybe. Not entirely, actually, it's more like what you'd consider MY colour. Like what you'd associate with me most, what I wear the most or something.

Pft. C'mon, homes, dat ones easy. Have ya even met dis guy? Is pretty glarin'.

Now what the [FUNK] is that supposed to mean- are you seriously still doing the censoring thing?!

EY, don't rag on me, whaddif deres kidz listening!

I suppose that's a good point. How nice of you.

Bleeehhh.

a pause, then…

! Whad was dat for!

The sweet taste of revange…

a megamind reference doesn't seem thematically appropriate, but the host will include it anyways. It's MY show, dammit!

Regardless, you still didn't answer the second half. (even if you didn't really answer the first half, either…)

Whad was dat?

Nothing.

'Key, well, I dunno. I dun have A colour, das pretty crystal.

Maybe your colour is the inclusion of all of it?

Beeep, eeeerk, big word aleeeert! Neeerd!

None of those were big words…

What's the most useless fact he knows about me…

Ya said dat out loud, sweet.

Oh, dear, did I? I was just wondering about it.

Why's dat?

Not sure. I can't predict what you could possibly say here. Not that I do anyway, but you understand what I mean.

Nah, I don't, actually.

Also, ya always start walkin on ya left foot first, and finish on da right.

Wait wha-

the sound of wood scraping against a floor can be distantly heard from the broadcast, and there is silence for a long few moments

…Oh my stars, I do. Well, it might be biased, now…

Hah!

That's crazy. Hold on… You could remember THAT and not my favourite colour?!

Dere was nuthin about dat!

Well sure. But you couldn't even answer straight about what my colour was, so I'm more than a bit suspicious.

Aw, c'mon! Ya favourite colour is… Uh… Uuuuh…

See? Viewers, it's green and purple, for the books.

Ya can't blame me, ya have two!

Yes, and your colours consist of the entire colour wheel.

Das cus I don't look bad in nuthin, baybeyyyy!

Oh, like a pair of breeches?

Nah, ya reaching.

Breeching, actually. It was and is the practice of giving a young boy his first set of trousers or, well, breeches. This is usually done around the age of 6-8 ish, so the very beginning of childhood and the end of infancy. Before this age, a child was practically-

Wait, why do I need ta know dis?

Ugh, you're no fun!

I just noticed, we got through all the questions.

What'd we get, three?

Yes, three. Now those are done we'll sign off for now til we get more questions.

Jus like dat?

Yup! Be sure to tune in!

[humankk]

hi. sorry for sending this ask. I know it might inappropriate but we badly needed some help right and i hope you’d consider .. its for our cat who needs immediate care, you can find the post in my blog as i pinned it. Hoping you’d be so kind to boost/share to help us alleviate the cost as it would tremendously help us a lot. if you can, pls try to answer this privately as some people might i pressure you to do so.. i know its weird, just wanted to avoid it if possible. Thanks a lot, and sorry again for being so direct. 🙏

Hmm, I checked, there are no post before yesterday so this is likely fake

For your information if you see a post with bee plushie and something about 'single mom who had to take in her newly deceased grandfather’s elder cat' it's this one

unless there are multiple copy of this and one of them is a real person then that would be kinda sucks but anyway

if you're going to reblog something you can check the person's archieve by checking here

if the posts they posted aren't more than a week or in this case, a day (for me it's 2 days because timezone probably) then it's probably scammer

you can just scroll down be yourself if you wants to but like, this way is much easier the posts are smaller and can be seperated by time and other things

also yes I'll just announce this on the ask because why not

[megismorallysunny]

26/09/23

ok so an okay day, i think writing a blog has unexpectedly made me feel worse about myself. i remember more, but i feel like shit more than usual, but i like writing so im not sure what to do. it sucks. i had history first "the sub" was in today he wanted us to acc learn shit, sooooo boring. Carmite, Emerald and "sapphire" all sat together. i cant remember if i mentioned sapphire but hes one of the boys.

they played a roblox obby in class and they kept getting caught so they decided to take out their calculators and PRETEND, it was so embarassing the sub told them not to go on their phones after 10 minutes of them fake playing on their calculators just for carmite to say "hehe not a phone its a calculator, gottem" it was SO EMBARRASSING. HE SPENT 10 MINS. anyways, granite is gone to tenerife so its just me and diorite for a while.

french was good. yknow that girl bluebird that i talked about yesterday, well she got in trouble for not doing her hw again and like she was talking to the teacher and the teacher had to ask her what three times because she was so quite. some other things but i cant remember. for pe we did badminton because the pitch flooded, me and diorite were partners and we bet 1 other team. i was pretty shit tbh. for lunch diorite bought me a chocolate bar and stole some kinder bars. she talked about how she started feeling guilty last night cuz she stole some stuff from a shop and then she found out that there was only one of them (not family owned but not a corporation). i said i also felt guilty when i did that because i have the resources to pay i just dont like spending money. i dont steal, it was a once off chance and just felt like shitty of me.

for business a bunch of 2nd years were in our seats eating lunch and chatting, they musnt have gotten the message to leave when i thre my bag over them to reach my fucking seat. i had to get the guy in crutches to help me out because i just dont like talking to 2nd years because idk they have a weird vibe. also at lunch coming from the shop me and diorite got swarmed by 1st years we didnt know, and asked us for stuff, they asked me for popcorn and i kinda just ignored them and walked through them, maybe i should have been nicer and given them the rest but also im a hungry hungry hippo. they also knew my friends name?? my friend stopped and gave them kinder bars, on the way to business another first year asked for a kinder bar and she gave it to him, "they really took the worst you can get is a no to heart". it was really funny and sweet though the way they flew to food like bees to pollen. anyways the teacher didnt show up for the first 15 mins in class and it got REAL silent, so a girl in my class decides we need to d icebreakers (the only new person in the class is bluebird, and weve all known each other for a little over 2 years). we have to say our full name then our hobby, im 2nd and i CRUSHED it. i did amazing, we got to every1 and out of like 28 only 4 people didnt do it. in geography i felt rly lonely, sure i got a back seat but at what cost, i didnt have anything to do, i felt like shit, and a group of people played among us and i kinda wanted to aswell but i dindt have it downloaded and i just felt awkward, the worst they can say is no but, they remember that no, it was kinda nice seeing them play but i didnt want them to see me smiling so i did it every rarely. diorite wasnt there becasue they had a music thing, i dont do music cuz i sound like a drowned rat. i then walked to my dads work, stayed in his van for an hour so he could finish work and then went home.

i forgot to mention but 1st class ended 10 minutes early for some reason, and no teachers were told so it was rly confusing, my mom got home 4 hours late from work, her top boss is visiting her work and shes one of the managers so she has to do lots of things, we didnt get dinner till 9 cuz dad had to drive my brother to basketball which he just started. i could have just made dinner myself but also yknow, your supposed to eat the food people cook for you and they were going to cook it was really a matter of when. ive decided to learn portuguese which is really stupid but of well, i can try. i hope i shift tonight, wish me luck xoxo

[dashboarddiaries]

Dashboard Diaries is a production of Atypical Artists, hosted by Lauren Shippen (@thelaurenshippen) and Cher McAnelly (@overchers). Our theme was composed by Lauren Shippen and mixed by Brandon Grugle. Art by Shae McMullin. Transcription by Laudable.

For bonus clips, ad-free episodes, and more, become a patron at atypicalartists.co/support.

[intro music]

Lauren: Hello, fundraisers! I am Lauren Shippen, Professional Writer, who has successfully crowd funded and not scammed people before. 

Cher: And I’m Cher McAnelly, Head of entertainment at Tumblr, who just boiled water no less than five times before remembering to pour my tea. So, I don���t think I’d be very good at scamming.

Lauren: (laughs) And this is Dashboard Diaries, a podcast for you – the folks who are in this internet bunker with us. We talk about what’s going on in our favorite hell site, get into what we like to call “tumbl-lore,” do fandom deep dives, and share the times when we’ve gone feral over a new ship.

And if you are joining us from the future, we are still in the midst of the SAG strike, which means that we’re trying to avoid talking about struck works as much as possible. So, we’ve been skipping our week on Tumblr segment. So, we’re going to jump right into our dashboard confessionals. 

Cher, what do you have from your own personal archives this week?

[guitar riff]

Cher: So, I have a few things. I’m going to randomly select one of the things I had open and just drop it in here for you. 

Lauren: I’m excited / nervous.

Cher: It’s a fun little text post that I re-blogged on November 7th, 2015. And it’s from @rowslastrider who said, “You are the dancing queen, blood curdling scream, 47 bees.” 

Lauren: That’s so good! That captures I think Tumblr energy so perfectly somehow. 

Cher: I could not agree more. Even more so that if you look below it says “via i-suck-dick-deactivated-20160614.” 

Lauren: (laughs) That’s so perfect! 

Cher: Just, yeah. Perfect post.

Lauren: The deactivated is really what makes it art, I think.

Cher: Yeah, I completely agree. No notes, but actually over 415,000 notes. 

Lauren: I would expect no less. That is perfect.

Cher: What do you have in your dashboard confessional for us this week, Lauren?

Lauren: So, despite what I just said, I couldn’t resist and I do have something that broadly is about struck work, but I think I can talk around it and still communicate what it is. So, it is something that I re-blogged November 13th, 2014. So, nine years ago ... And it is a gif of a bunch of very quick cuts of the title card of Tumblr’s main show. This show recently celebrated its November 5th big anniversary, which is always a big holiday on Tumblr. IF you don’t know what I’m talking about I don’t know that I can help you. (laughs)

But the thing that I really love about this is that on my now sort of private blog but at the time public I re-blogged it and was sort of marveling at a couple of the title cards being like, oh, I didn’t realize that this show did this theme of episode and this theme of episode, because back in 2014 I was not watching this show and I think that there’s a lot of very funny things in here for me. First of all, the fact that nine years ago this show had so many title cards already to make a minute long looping gif that I had no knowledge of this show whatsoever but clearly was still ... but I was still re-blogging posts about it because I was on Tumblr.

And the fact that now I know everything about this show and working regularly with one of its stars! (laughs) It’s just very ... everything just sort of comes around, you know?

Cher: Full circle. I love it.

Lauren: You can’t escape the family business. You really can’t. 

Cher: You know? Maybe we’re in an episode right now, Lauren.

Lauren: We might be.

Cher: You never know. We could be. It’s possible.

Lauren: Yeah. The real truth of the universe is not that this is some sort of computer simulation but that we’re in an episode written by Eric Kripke. 

Cher: In a computer simulation. 

Lauren: Exactly. 

Cher: Whenever I see long gifs ... I don’t know if you remember that meme format or whatever from a while ago where it would flash through a bunch of things and it would ... like when you drag the gif or whatever the image you get is who you are, your vibe or whatever the answer is. 

Lauren: Totally.

Cher: Anyway, I saw this and I’m like I want to pick an episode for me based on ...

Lauren: YES. Ooh, do it! What is it going to give you?

Cher: Let’s see. All right. I’m going to do it right now. What have we got? I think ... okay. I got ... how do I even describe this to you? Can I draw up an image to you? It’s like the blue one with the orb that kind of explodes out. 

Lauren: Yes!

Cher: It looks very – yeah. That one. That’s the one I got. I was hoping for the black and white one or one of the jazzier ones. This feels like it’s been in multiple episodes. 

Lauren: Yeah. I couldn’t tell if these were ... some of these feel like, yeah, they’re definitely very episode specific. Some of them feel like they’re potentially the title cards for ... because every season the title card would change. I got the one with the black angels wings. Which feels appropriate because that is the star of the show who I know and work with. Who is always with me.

Cher: I don’t think anyone has guessed the show yet.

Lauren: Definitely not. No, very opaque. Super niche.

Cher: Suuuper niche. Naturally. 

Lauren: We’ll obviously re-blog this post to DashboardDiaries.Tumblr.com so you can figure out what your title card vibe is. 

Cher: Yes.

Lauren: And also find out what the show that we’re talking about is if you don’t know. Though, again, I was re-blogging posts about this show back in 2014 when I wasn’t watching the show. It is Tumblr’s TV show. 

Cher: Yeah, I was definitely re-blogging posts about it well before I started watching it when we started recording this show. 

Lauren: This podcast.

Cher: Yeah. 

Lauren: Exactly.

Cher: Misha was the first person that I worked with at Tumblr, the first campaign I worked on was with him. 

Lauren: That’s so wild. Oh my gosh. Everything really just ... it’s six degrees of Kevin Bacon, but six degrees of this television show.

Cher: It is so true. The amount of ... yes, exactly that. I couldn’t put it any better myself. I remember it was so long ago ... this is 2016 when we did this. I was 23 at the time. And we were doing a kind of scavenger hunt gish whiz thing at a convention. And part of it was he took over the Tumblr Snapchat at the time. And so at one point I’m like in the background of one of the snaps and he goes, “Do you see that woman over there?” And I remember being like, “I’m a woman!?” ‘Cause I was like 23 and I was like, “I don’t think anyone has ever called me a woman.” I am a girl.

Lauren: I’m a girl!

Cher: Not yet a woman. (laughs) Excuse me. (laughs)

Lauren: Gosh, that really is what it feels like a lot of the time when you’re 23. Blink-182 was right. Being 23 is hard. 

Cher: It really is. I honestly still ... that is such a core memory of him being like this woman over there ... and honestly my first thought was like, “What did you call me!?” 

(laughter)

Lauren: Assigned woman by Misha Collins. 

Cher: Sorry, you don’t understand. I’m baby. 

(laughter)

Lauren: I’m baby. 

Cher: I’m an entity, actually. I’m an overall vibe. I am ageless and timeless, but definitely was not ready to be a woman. 

Lauren: Not an adult woman. That’s so ...

Cher: Wait till my brain ... you know, the pre frontal cortex does that thing it does. 

Lauren: Yeah. And fully develops.

Cher: Then perhaps.

Lauren: That’s so funny. Oh my goodness. We’re going to stay in sort of the classic 2014 Tumblr vibes today by talking about one of Tumblr’s favorite old pastimes which is failed crowd funds.

[game show trill]

Cher, when you think of Tumblr failed crowd funds, what do you think of? What’s sort of the first thing that comes to mind / what is sort of your first encounter with this as a concept?

Cher: Honestly, I’m thinking of so many Tumblr sagas but I don’t think any crowd fund specific ones are really coming to mind. 

Lauren: Okay ... so some of this might be kind of new to you, maybe?

Cher: Yeah, I think so. Which is odd because I’m pretty sure we’ve talked about crowd funds even in the last episodes that we’ve done. But I also am ... I will say I am running out of brain cells at the moment because I landed super late last night, so honestly ...

Lauren: Oh no!

Cher: If you asked me to list the conspiracies that we talked about ... I’m sitting here like, “What did we talk about, Lauren?”

Lauren: Honestly, I am having that a little bit, too. Especially since it was daylight savings this past weekend and that always throws my brain into a blender.

Cher: Yeah, I think my brain did a factory reset or something, because ...

Lauren: Yeah, still booting up.

Cher: You’re like, “Failed crowd funds?” And I’m like, hmm, yes. I know what a crowd fund is and I also know the definition of the word “fail.” So ... we’re getting there. 

Lauren: So, we’re halfway there!

Cher: I’m rebooting. 

Lauren: (laughs) Yeah. So, there was this period of time I would say on Tumblr and this would have been before you started working at Tumblr. You may have been an intern at this time. But this was between what I think of sort of the height of Tumblr’s most Tumblr era. Right? Which is 2012-2014. The SuperWhoLock period, as we’ve called it in the past.

Cher: Yeah, and that’s exactly when I joined the platform.

Lauren: Right. 

Cher: Yeah.

Lauren: Yeah. And I’m not going to count SuperWhoLock as a struck work because it is an amalgamation of a bunch of things. It’s its own entity.

Cher: Yes!

Lauren: That is not SAG. (laughs) So, throughout this period there were several crowd funds for various Tumblr crowd sourced projects that were ultimately failures in a variety of ways. And that sort of fit into the larger discourse around this time period in Dash Con and things like this and kind of Tumblr coming together as a user base and trying to make things happen and those things kind of ultimately falling flat on their face in various ways.

So, the central one that I want to talk about is “All Or Nothing.” Are you familiar with All Or Nothing as a concept, as a text post, as a crowd fund?

Cher: I am not. 

Lauren: Fascinating.

Cher: No. 

Lauren: So, this is the one that I actually remember seeing most, like at the time. So, it began with this post from @discontentramblings that’s just a very normal classic Tumblr style text post, which is “An asexual and pansexual become roommates and have whacky adventures. The show is called All Or Nothing.” 

I feel like I see a text post like that all the time on Tumblr. You know? It’s just a fun funny concept. And then the Nightvale blog called “Everything is Nightvale” re-blogged it and said, “Plot twist, the asexual is really super outgoing and is a huge flirt while the pansexual is extremely socially awkward and has trouble ordering coffee let alone getting a date.” And then a user named @shroedingersnerd, which is I think one of my favorite usernames I’ve seen made some fan art of sort of this concept. 

Which again in general everything about this is very typical for the yes/and website. Right? 

Cher: Yeah.

Lauren: It’s just like funny premise, here’s a way to subvert it by making these two characters sort of the opposite of what the stereotypes are and then here’s a bit of fan art. I think that this is the kind of behavior that we saw around Goncharov, right? The sort of crowd sourced idea that people add to, people make fan art for, people add to the lore of, etc, etc. And this post in particular got like over half a million notes back in 2014. Was going around and was very popular. 

The trouble came when some Tumblr users decided to make an Indie Go Go for it. And they were going to make a web series called All Or Nothing that was taking this premise and they were trying to raise $600 – which I’ve been in web series ... $600 is not enough to buy a camera for a web series ... (laughs) I actually was in a web series during this time period and it cost a lot of money.

They also didn’t necessarily have a lot of additional information about what the show would be. It was just sort of this premise and nothing else. They ended up raising $5,899 from 305 backers. And nothing happened. Just like this money went somewhere ... I genuinely don’t know what happened to it. I’m not quite sure that’s something that has been actually verified. I think they eventually, years after the fact, because of course they raise the money, people were excited about this web series, nothing happened. Years went by and then eventually the person who started, or one of the people who started it was like ... “I was really young and I didn’t know what I was doing. I’m going to give everybody their money back.” But I don’t know that that ended up happening. Because apparently the money got transferred to another person on the project and that person ended up spending it.

So, just a very ... it was sort of interesting diving back into this. Like I said, I do remember this at the time, but thinking about Goncharov and thinking about the number of things that people made for the pure love of Goncharov and putting all of this work in to sort of create something all together. And something really beautiful coming out of that. And this sort of being an early version of that that was much more linear, which was like ... “We have an idea as Tumblr users and we’re going to execute it in the way that ideas get executed right now” by people/artists, independent artists, which is a web series.

Rather than being like, “Let’s all just have fun in this space and play together!” You know?

Cher: Yeah, and I love the yes/and website as just a phrase, because it’s so accurate. I also-

Lauren: Feel free ... Tumblr can have that.

Cher: Oh, I wrote it down. I love it so much.

Lauren: Perfect!

Cher: I will be crediting you, of course. And I also ... this is so funny. This happened to me in college. 

Lauren: Wait, what do you mean?

Cher: Someone I went to college with wrote a script for a short film, or maybe a little longer than short film, set up a crowd fund for it. I was cast in it. It was cast ... we recorded it. We filmed a bit of it on campus. I put I think $100 in. There was thousands of money ... jeez ... okay ... clearly on re-boot right now ... thousands of money‼ 

THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS ... were in this crowd fund and just nothing, film was never made, nothing ever happened. No one ever got their money back. We never heard about it again. This friend never mentioned it again. I have not seen this friend in many years as well, unrelated to that crowd fund story. But also, yeah. I mean, interesting ... it was right around that time, too. 

Lauren: That IS interesting.

Cher: And that friend was definitely on the platform. 

Lauren: Huh. I wonder if they were at all inspired by seeing ...

Cher: Not like inspired to do the crowd fund to make their film ... I’m sure they didn’t intend to never finish, but I think you’re totally right, they were for sure ... not for sure, but they may have been. Because that was around, this was starting up, just starting to be a thing that people did. 

Lauren: Yeah, and it’s something that happened in sort of multiple different projects. And I think for the most part I really do think that ... like with Dash Con the attempt was not to scam people out of their money. But I do think that there was a real effort here to put together a web series about these two queer roommates and the whacky adventures that they had by very enthusiastic teens who wanted to see representation in their media and just were going about it in a very kind of hand-fisted inexperienced way. 

Cher: Totally.

Lauren: Right? 

Cher: Yeah. I can for sure see that happening. You get the $5,000 and you try to make it work, you get it started, it never actually happens, you don’t know what to do. You keep thinking you’re going to eventually make it or do it. 

Lauren: Well, and I think All Or Nothing is sort of one of the most infamous, but I put in a couple of others here, including some honorable mentions. And one of the honorable mentions that I actually don’t see talked about quite as much but was another kind of failed crowd fund thing is The Finger Slip, which I don’t think got as much attention sort of on Tumblr widely. Because I actually think it was more competently put together. But which I was very aware of because I was deep in the fandom for a particular BBC television show that was an update of some Arthur Conan Doyle stories. (laughs)

Cher: Hmm.

Lauren: I wonder what that could be? We talked about the major conspiracy surrounding that particular show. The JohnLocke conspiracy in our second episode. So that show had a lot of really great fan fic. It’s actually the show that got me back into reading fan fic. I started reading fan fic in high school and then kind of fell off in late high school, early college, and then when this show started coming out in 2010 I was a big shipper and was reading a lot of fan fic and there was this one fan fic called The Finger Slip which was incredibly popular; from this modern teenager AU of this show.

And it got so popular that somebody decided to make a web series of it. And they were working with the fan fic author and stuff and they pulled together all of the money and they actually cast it, they filmed it, and it just has yet to come out. Because ultimately it was one 19 year old trying to do this whole thing. And they haven’t finished editing it. And I think after a certain point it was sort of like, “It’s been too long now. I’m just going to sort of let this lie.” 

Again, that was a very, very good faith effort thing and it just didn’t happen. Because these things look like they’re easier to execute than they actually are. A web series seems like it would be easy to put together but it’s really not. But this particular web series raised ... I just looked it up ... $17,000! 

Cher: Jay-sus. 

Lauren: Well, to be fair I do think that actually people did get paid. The actors got paid. They filmed the thing. They bought equipment. The money got used. 

Cher: Absolutely. 

Lauren: It just didn’t get finished.

Cher: It is such a ... I totally understand. When you’re a teenager and you see other people doing this and you think, “How hard can it be?” I briefly tried to be a YouTuber and by briefly I mean I posted one video. I think we talked about this. The video about applying to colleges where I say, “Is anyone else applying to colleges?” (one of the questions in my vlog) ... just in case anyone in the entire world also perhaps may be doing that. 

Lauren: ... may be applying to colleges.

Cher: Considering it. Yeah. So, yeah. I mean, editing all of that. I totally understand. Yeah, I feel like these were all absolutely good faith efforts. Or the ones we’ve been talking about. To make this happen and then you realize how challenging it is. I’m sure you get this as well, even in your day to day work. I definitely ... where people just think, “Oh yeah, it’s easy, it’s quick, how long could it take?” And you’re like ... there’s a lot that goes into even something that is quick and easy and simple and short. You know?

Lauren: Exactly. This is the story of my career, actually. I was listening to Welcome to Nightvale and I had an idea and I was like, “How hard can it be to put together a podcast?” (laughs) I know it would be hard to put together a podcast that sounds and is as good at Welcome to Nightvale but like audio seems simpler than a web series ... because I was a new web series at the time and web series are very complicated. Way more complicated than they appear to be. So, maybe I’ll make a podcast.

And you know, I did pick a simpler idea that actually was a lot easier to execute than a lot of other ideas and it ended up working out in the end. But it was a ton of work, right? And even now I sort of have ideas for projects. I mean, the podcast I have right now, Breaker Whiskey, that I’m doing is a daily podcast. I was sort of like, “How hard can this be to do?” (laughs) 

Cher: Just a few minutes. 

Lauren: Just every day. That’s fine.

Cher: Every single day. Lauren, I have a pitch for you. 

Lauren: Please.

Cher: Let’s make a web series about making a web series and call it, “How Hard Can It Be?” 

Lauren: Oh my god. I love it. Tumblr, give us some money for this! How hard can it be? 

I do think that All Or Nothing was a pretty successful one in terms of the money that it raised. Finger Slip was incredibly successful. The other one that got a decent amount of money and had sort of its moment in the sun was Miss Officer and Mister Truffles. Are you aware of this at all? Are you familiar with this?

Cher: I am not and I am like what side of Tumblr was I on? Because I was spending, during these years, ridiculous amounts of time on Tumblr. Between 2012 and 2014 I re-blogged over 30,000 things. 

Lauren: Jesus Christ.

Cher: And missed ALL OF THIS.

(laughter)

Lauren: I mean, you were on the aesthetic side of Tumblr, right?

Cher: I was. Yeah. 

Lauren: And I think that’s ... I do think that’s like a very different side. By this point ... I mean, we’ve talked about this before. We both started on the aesthetic side of Tumblr. I just got into the fandom side of Tumblr faster. And then once you were in there it was like you were in it. But I think if you weren’t in the fandom side of Tumblr, this stuff was sort of happening in some other website basically.

Cher: My new favorite metaphor that I’ve just been building on, because I love a metaphor ... is okay – Tumblr the website, that’s like a digital world, your dashboard is your city, and your blog is your house.

Lauren: I love that. Yes.

Cher: And so I was just a city over, you know? 

Lauren: Exactly.

Cher: With all the inspirational quotes on scenic backgrounds and gifs of coffee steam rising. (laughs)

Lauren: And there probably was like one major highway that went through these two cities, right?

Cher: 100%.

Lauren: Like, in terms of overlap. But you just hadn’t gotten on that highway yet.

Cher: Wasn’t quite ... yeah, I was still on Main Street, or like maybe a couple of streets over. 

Lauren: Yeah.

Cher: I hadn’t ventured out of the town yet. And then, boy, I joined Tumblr and just got on a flight and went to a whole other side of the platform’s universe!

Lauren: Yeah. I do think to carry on this metaphor, which is a great metaphor, eventually the fandom side of Tumblr just ... the urban sprawl of it got so big.

Cher: Yes. Oh my gosh.

Lauren: Go into other cities. Now I think it’s quite hard to be in any of the other cities on Tumblr and not see a random thing from the Tumblr-opolis or whatever the major city is.

Cher: Oh my gosh, it’s a melting pot. There’s some big ... yeah.

Lauren: Yes!

Cher: Oh my gosh. I love it. Yes. 

Lauren: Oh man. Well, so yeah. I don’t think you would have seen these things because they were very much in the fandom side. This particular one, Miss Officer and Mister Truffles, came from a real news story that had a photo of a short haired female officer taking a picture of a little bear cub that was standing up sort of ... this was somewhere in Canada, I believe. And people just ... again, it was the same thing. Someone posted it and was like ... somebody made fan art of them and then somebody was like, this would be an awesome animated series. 

And the inverse of All Or Nothing where All Or Nothing was like, “We’re going to make an entire web series on $600,” the Kickstarter for Miss Officer and Mister Truffles was $80,000 to make one animated pitch to pitch to TV networks.

So, they did not meet their goal. They raised $6,000, but it’s Kickstarter so I don’t believe that they ended up actually getting the money. 

Cher: Yeah, because they didn’t hit the goal. Yeah.

Lauren: Yeah. But again, I think another good faith effort of people wanting to see something that they were experiencing and all sharing it together on Tumblr actually come to life in a really significant way.

Cher: Yeah, definitely. I would have loved to see that. I still want to see that. This is all timeless. It can all still happen. 

Lauren: I mean, that’s the thing. I think that there’s a couple of interesting things. And I’m curious to hear your observations, too. There’s a couple of things in here that I think are really indicative of both Tumblr and also the particular youthful side of fandom that’s on Tumblr. And I think this particular period of time on Tumblr. Which is that there is this very yes/and nature, which I think definitely still exists on Tumblr. Right? We’ve seen that in major, major ways in recent years.

But there’s a yes/and sort of that’s a little bit more surface level than I think what we see now. Like with Goncharov, it got like fucking deep. Right? People went in on Goncharov. Whereas I think a lot of these projects, there was another one, another honorable mention which was the Ark Project, which was a pitch for an RPG video game that was going to have a lot of great queer representation and representation of people of color. And the art for it was actually really beautiful. 

But that’s all that the pitch was. Right? And it was like, wait, it’s a video game RPG – what is the story? What is the game play? Representation isn’t actually an idea. And I think that’s what I mean by surface level, right? A lot of these things ... I think Miss Officer and Mister Truffles was more of just a “this would be cute.” But I think that All Or Nothing ... even A Finger Slip to an extent was sort of like “we want to see queer stories.” We want to see stories that center people of color. And mainstream media isn’t doing that. All completely legitimate, all true. So, we’re going to do it but we’re doing it for that reason. And so there’s not necessarily actually much there when it comes to the story or the idea. Versus like Goncharov was sort of just a vibe that then got filled out into a larger idea and plot and characters.

I don’t know. Is this making sense as a thought?

Cher: No, it absolutely is. And I couldn’t agree with you more. Yeah, these are great ideas. They feel like they’re writing prompts, essentially.

Lauren: Yes! Perfect way to put it.

Cher: Each one you could have seen posted on a writing prompt Tumblr. And you could have seen a million different stories written with these one two line prompts, or log lines. And so yeah, I think they’re all great ideas and I think it just speaks to kind of a lot of these are people’s first go at something like that. The first time they see this they come up with this idea and it hits them. Okay, why not, let’s do it!?

So, I totally understand it not working out as anticipated. Especially with how labor intensive this kind of stuff is. The creative side, especially ... writing.

Lauren: Yes!

Cher: Coming up with copy with a couple lines or a little concept is hard enough, but a whole story line and then building out each character so each character is fully formed. It is a process and I think, yeah, I wouldn’t have even thought about that 10, 15 years ago if you said, “Cher, write a TV show. Take me through what are the five steps that you would need to do to write a TV show?” I’d be like, come up with an idea and write a script. You know? I don’t know.

Lauren: Yeah. Exactly.

Cher: Come up with an idea, figure out the characters, write the script. But it’s like ... yeah, okay. 

Lauren: But all of those things have a lot of smaller steps in them.

(laughter)

Well, and to your point, I think you’re absolutely right. One of the backer rewards for the $100 tier for the All Or Nothing Indie Go Go was to write a script. And it’s like, that’s not actually how you build a writing staff, right? You can’t just have somebody pay $100 to get to write an episode. That’s not ...

Cher: Each episode is so dramatically different. No cohesive story line. The characters are completely different episode to episode. (laughs)

Lauren: And again, I think the spirit of that is very pure and sweet, which is that this idea belongs to all of us, right? And so if you want to give significantly to the Indie Go Go then it becomes a chance for you to really contribute to the story because we’re all crowd sourcing the story together.

And again, I think that’s an interesting concept and I keep mentioned Goncharov but I do think that Goncharov is sort of the proof of this actually can work. You can crowd source an idea, but the point has to be the crowd sourcing. Right? The point can’t be the story, necessarily.

Cher: Exactly.

Lauren: Or the representation or its eventual success or whatever else it is. And the other thing that I was thinking of is this post ... I wish I had liked it. I may have it somewhere, so if I find it I’ll be sure to re-blog it to our Tumblr. But I saw this post the other day that I think actually really identified something that we’ve talked about before on this podcast. And just as people, too. That I think ties into this.

So, it’s like all these young people in the mid twenty / teens that really wanted to see representation on screen, which is totally legitimate and needed to happen and still needs to happen. And eventually sort of like the actual studios kind of understood that this was true and started to put in more representation into things.

But I saw this post the other day that was like, “We’ve gone from queer baiting to story baiting, where now a show advertises having a lot of great representation and then I watch it and there’s no story or characters.” (laughs) 

I think that’s true a little bit.

Cher: Oh my gosh.

Lauren: We’ve talked before about frustration. I have a lot of frustration around queer romances in a lot of things because it’s like, “Oh look, they get together and they’re happy, isn’t that great?” And it’s like, yes, that’s great, but I want the same kind of romances that I have for my straight ships where it’s like there’s angst and there’s tragedy and there’s real conflict. Rather than just like, “oh look, here’s a happy queer couple,” and it’s like we need all of it.

Cher: Yeah. Tell the same ... the goal is to tell the same stories, same variety of stories, just these characters happen to also be queer, or happen to also be people of color. It’s just like we’re telling stories, we are not telling ... ever so often it’s like, yeah, this is a story that is queer centered and queer focused of course, but yeah, it’s just like queer representation means you want the antagonist in a Marvel movie to be queer. 

Lauren: Exactly.

Cher: They’re the antagonist and they are also queer. You know? 

Lauren: Exactly.

Cher: And it’s not some whole ... what’s the word? Hullabaloo?

Lauren: Hullabaloo.

Cher: You know?

Lauren: Exactly. I think importantly, they have a story line and a character arc that is separate from their identity. 

Cher: Yes.

Lauren: Exactly. We do need the stories that are about queer identity, that are about the identity of people of color and their experience and all of that kind of stuff, about disabled identities, whatever it is – we need those stories.

Cher: Of course.

Lauren: But we also just need stuff where it’s like the point ... I do think that a lot of these crowd sourced ideas back in 2014 and a lot of representation now in television is like, “Look, isn’t it cool that we have these diverse people?” And it’s like, yeah, but they’re not fully fleshed out characters. Why do I care about them? I love the post of we’re being story baited now. We expect to have a story and instead we just get blank representation. 

Cher: Yeah, I could not agree with you more. It’s so frustrating to kind of ... you see these things ... or the way that characters are approached where their identity, whatever it is, or who they are is the center thing where it’s like if this was someone who has traditionally been represented in media, a straight White man, let’s say ... Straight White men and straight White women have gotten any variety of stories told about them – protagonist, antagonist, super ... what have you. And separate from their race or their gender or identity in any way and I think, yeah, when you think of disabled representation, so many titles like are focused on this person’s struggle or story as it pertains to their disability or ... is that the correct word to use? Disability? I want to make sure that I’m using the right vernacular there.

Lauren: That’s been my understanding of it. I feel like most sort of disability advocates and folks that I’ve read, they prefer that over like differently abled or-

Cher: Versus other- ... right okay. Just wanted to make sure I was saying the correct thing.

Lauren: I could completely be wrong. I could totally be wrong. And happy to be corrected on it.

Cher: All right. Awesome. I just wanted to make sure I was saying the right ... but yeah. I was watching a show this week and this is actually about just a woman’s story line, but I think it’s kind of like, I had a very strong reaction to what they did to her in the story. And I think it pertains really well to this. Essentially, it’s a new show that is out and the main character is ... it takes place in the ‘50s. She’s very, she’s a chemist and no one respects her, and she also ends up having a cooking show is the plot of the show. 

Lauren: Yes.

Cher: I think you may know what I’m talking about. Have you been watching it?

Lauren: I do. I watched the first episode. 

Cher: Okay, so I watched the first two episodes. Do you plan to watch any more of it? Because I don’t want to spoil anything for you.

Lauren: No. Feel free to spoil. Yeah.

Cher: Okay, and also spoilers for this show, which if you’re watching you probably know what we’re talking about. So, the plot of this, obviously, she’s dealing with a lot of challenges and not respected because she is a woman. Right? And not only is there the struggles that she is dealing with because she is not respected even though she’s the smartest woman in the room and she’s treated like shit by all the other men. They call her a secretary even though she has a masters in chemistry, et cetera.

So, she’s dealing with that. So, in addition to, yeah, the story line where she’s just dealing with the struggles of being a woman in the ‘50s and not being respected and sexism. She is also dealing with [***TRIGGER for SA] ... she also has a sexual assault story line. And on top of that, Lauren, if that’s not enough ... if she’s not already ... there’s not enough adversity going on in this poor woman’s life who is just trying to cook some food and do her chemistry ... she falls in love, right?

She plans to never get married, but she falls in love with another chemist and it’s perfect. They are the ones for each other, they decide to be life partners, they’re publishing a paper together, everything is looking up. Right? Four or five months into their relationship he is hit by a bus and dies. 

Lauren: Oh my god‼

Cher: I am like, this woman can’t catch a break. Can you not like ... can we not tell the story about a strong independent intelligent woman without deeply traumatizing her as well? And I think the same with bury your gays where it’s like, okay you get a gay character but they die first or a queer character they ... you know? 

So, I feel like it is a very common thing. And it’s to the point where I keep seeing it. I thought we talked about this and we’re past this. Let someone have a complex story line without, I don’t know, taking something from them, too. Yes, she gets to be a bad ass independent woman with a cooking show and she’s respected now, but also she’s had a life of trauma and pain.

Lauren: Well, that reminds me so much of ... and I think that that show was based off of a book, right? And so it reminds me of another book that I think was very controversial for exactly the reasons you’re describing, which is A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara. I don’t know if you’ve read this book.

Cher: I have not, no.

Lauren: It’s a book that I really deeply loved the experience of reading. That I sort of cried over for like several hours after I finished reading. And I could not recommend it to anybody. (laughs) Without going too far into describing the plot of A Little Life it was and is very divisive among people. I have friends who have read it and they hated it. I have friends who read it and it’s their favorite book. I sit somewhere in-between. And it was sort of a similar thing where the main character, it’s sort of about four guys ... but sort of the central character, Jude ***SPOILERS**** there are queer characters in it and I actually think that the representation of queerness in a lot of ways is really great and that the characters are really allowed to be very complex within that. But the main character, it’s just trauma after trauma after trauma after trauma after trauma. 

It feels like trauma porn. Right?

Cher: Exactly.

Lauren: That was the accusation that a lot of people threw at it. I think that’s something that a lot of people really get so much out of. And a lot of people ... it’s really cathartic, it really resonates with them. Like I said, I actually really enjoyed the experience of reading the book, it was very powerful and very beautifully written even though I have complicated feelings about sort of the story line now. But I think yeah the problem is that so often with female characters and with queer characters, that’s the entirety of our stories. 

Where it’s like just that. And it’s like, no, we also need other things as well to sort of layer in amongst all of the trauma stuff. 

Cher: Exactly. There are traumatic stories. There are funny stories. There are romantic stories. And I just think ... it does feel still like characters are being slotted in to kind of fit a quota when it’s like, no, just write a cast of characters who are a variety of people with a variety of different qualities and backgrounds.

Lauren: Totally.

Cher: It’s not ... you don’t need to ... you have your list of characters and then you’re like, oh gosh, and this one is gay. 

Lauren: Yeah, exactly.

(laughter)

Cher: Or I don’t know ... I feel like we have gotten ... we are a few steps past the show about ... the show that’s kind of a caricature of queerness or whatever it may be, but we’re not quite. It feels like we’ve stepped out but okay it’s a little better and there’s more media to consume. Ever so often you get a beautiful story, like Heart Stopper, or something that is just like ... it’s just a beautiful sweet love story. You know?

Lauren: Yeah.

Cher: But that is also written by a queer person. So, that ... which again, hey, you want queer characters that are well written? Hire queer writers. You want disabled characters that are well written? Hire disabled writers. 

Lauren: Right.

Cher: The list goes on. So, yeah, I think it’s that. If we just have a wider variety of people in that writing room, these stories aren’t going to feel forced because they’ll be coming from a lived experience instead of someone trying to assume what someone may be going through or kind of a very stereotype or cookie cutter kind of thing.

Lauren: I think Heart Stopper is a great example of a wonderful graphic novel series that also got turned into a TV show. So, for this purpose talking about the graphic novel ... but each of those characters and it’s a cast of tons of queer characters, they have really complex relationships and problems outside of their identity and their identity certainly ... they experience conflict and experience ... or not conflict, but challenges because they’re queer in various ways. But that’s not sort of the central part of their conflict. And there’s so much about friendship in there that’s really lovely.

Cher: Yeah, family ... 

Lauren: ... and complex. And family, school pressure, and all that kind of stuff. 

Cher: Yeah, it’s just a story about a group of teens, many of whom are queer. 

Lauren: Yes.

Cher: And I just think that’s really special and beautiful. I often say ... I’m so glad that teens now and young adults get Heart Stopper as they are coming into their identity. It’s definitely something I wish I had had when I was a teenager. 

Lauren: Yeah, totally. Well, this has me in my feels. So, I feel like we should move into our Feels Corner where we talk about what’s giving us feels.

[gentle music]

Cher, what has you in your feels corner right now?

Cher: What has me in my feels corner right now? I mean, other than this conversation, which I think ... I now want to go re-read Heart Stopper. Loved the most recent iteration ... (laughter) ... Honestly, what has me in my feels? I’m trying to ... OOH! The new Beatles song, Now And Then. 

Lauren: Oh, I still haven’t listened to it. What are your feelings about it?

Cher: Oh my gosh. I really ... honestly, for the fact that it is the last new Beatles song is kind of the ... it feels so perfect that this is that song. I don’t know. I can’t believe ... it’s a really beautiful song. I really liked it. And there’s a cute little mini doc as well on YouTube about it. Yeah, so I think that has me in my feels. That had me feeling real emotional. And it was really beautiful listening to it. I’ve been listening to it quite a bit. So yeah.

What about you?

Lauren: That’s so nice. I am unsurprisingly in my feels about video games. I guess, yeah, since we last chatted I have played through all of Spiderman II which was a masterpiece. It’s so, so good. I have so many feelings about Peter Parker. But kind of pertinent to this conversation I am playing Assassins Creed: Mirage right now. And the Assassin Creed games are super interesting for a bunch of reasons. And this one takes place in Baghdad and it’s a much smaller more insular story because it’s one of the first times that they’ve had a repeating character. The main character Basim is from Valhalla and this is kind of his origin story.

And one of the things I love about the Assassin Creed games is how they introduce you to these cultures that are maybe different from your own. And there’s so much great history in this game. So, just has me in my feels about sort of video games being both fun stories and also portals to these other times and places. And a good cool way to learn stuff. 

Cher: So funny you say that and also I agree with you and need to play more video games. Still not through the prologue of The Last of Us. After I overnighted a PS4 to myself because I had to play it ... but I saw I think a heritage Tumblr post the other day about how someone was in ... I think it was Florence with their family and they couldn’t find ... their tour group was lost. And they led their ... okay, no, you know what? This is ... I am now realizing this is an Ask Reddit thread that my brain melded into a Tumblr post, but it’s probably a Tumblr post, too.

Lauren: Amazing.

Cher: I saw a thread that was like, “Have you ever been able to find your way around somewhere that you’ve never been because of a video game?” And there were so many responses. I think the one about Florence was about Assassins Creed being like, “I knew. I got our group to where we needed to go because I’d seen, played through the game so much.” I think that’s so funny. And my question for you is have you ever had an experience like that?

Lauren: So, yeah. That is really funny. Two small ones, I guess. Because the Assassins Creed games I’ve played are Mirage, Origins, Odyssey, and Valhalla. Mirage, Origins, and Odyssey all take place so long ago-

Cher: They wouldn’t be the same ...

Lauren: Yeah. I’ve been to Greece and Mikonos but Mikonos in 500 BC is very different than Mikonos now. 

Cher: There’s a couple more buildings, I’ve heard. Yeah ...

Lauren: Exactly. Valhalla takes place in England and there’s a lot of English countryside in it obviously, even though it’s 800 ... there are some places in Valhalla where “I’ve been to that particular ruin before.” You know? And then when I went to New Orleans, when I sort of walked downtown in New Orleans I was like, oh my god, I am in Saint Denis from Red Dead Redemption II. (laughs) Because they based Saint Denis off of New Orleans and I’d played that game so much by that point but I’d never been to New Orleans before. I was like, I’m inside the video game!

Cher: Oh my gosh. I love that. It makes me want to play video games more, just to ... I should find a video game that takes place in the next city you’re visiting and play through it and then ...

Lauren: Also, I’m so ... god, I’m so stupid! The main one is Spiderman, the Spiderman franchise. As I was playing through Spiderman II my partner who used to live in New York and I’m from New York was like, oh, can you find my old office? And we went looking for his old apartment in Queens because Queens is now a part of the game. And his street wasn’t there. It’s a much more truncated version. And I went to go and try to find my dad’s office in lower Manhattan and sometimes you can find things that are pretty similar but obviously it’s Marvel’s New York, so it’s different.

Cher: Oh my god. That’s great.

Lauren: I love doing that.

Cher: So, what did you find? Did you find something similar to your dad’s office?

Lauren: I mean, I found buildings very similar, but if you go on Reddit and stuff you can find people who find really specific weird things in the Marvel New York. It’s really lovingly rendered and really detailed. 

Cher: Oh, I love that.

Lauren: It’s just fantastic. 

Cher: That’s so cool. New York is the best. I mean, there are many things that are also the best, I don’t want to ... immediately backtracking ...

Lauren: I mean, you should play Spiderman because A) it’s not a scary video game and B) it’s your home city.

Cher: Gosh, I will. 

Lauren: Or, your current city.

Cher: I’ll swing around the city. Yeah. That sounds honestly great. 

Lauren: Exactly.

Cher: But I do need to use my PS4. I sit there and I stare at it and I’m like, come on, you bought this thing. Play your games. Other than SIMS. I do love SIMS. 

Lauren: I mean, SIMS is great.

Cher: It never gets old.

Lauren: And with that ... I’m Lauren Shippen, and you can find me at TheLaurenShippen.Tumblr.com.

Cher: And I’m Cher McAnelly and you can find me at OverChers.Tumblr.com. 

This has been Dashboard Diaries. And ... 

[outtro music]

Lauren: May your anons always be loving.

Cher: Your dash always refreshed.

Lauren: Your gifs always be loading.

Cher: And your ships always canon.

Lauren: May the fics you’re reading always be finished.

Cher: And the answers you seek always in the re-blogs.

Lauren: Thanks for scrolling with us!

This week, we discuss the infamous failed crowdfunds of Tumblr, like All or Nothing. Plus, being assigned woman by Misha, choosing your Supernatural title card, and having feelings about cities in video games.

Credits and transcript in our reblog. You can find transcripts for this, and every other episode, here.

Find the posts discussed in this episode in this tag!

[sasster]

Wait who're your robots?

i haven't used them much on this blog but i have soooo many.

There's Pixel, he was made as a security bot by my troll Rav. Because Rav is paranoid and needs to have eyes and ears around where he lives and the people he cares about. Pixel was made by like.. Junk pieces from abandoned projects, so he has a residual anxiety about being scrapped and therefore HATES when he has to be turned off for maintenance and has pushed back about it many a time. He navigates the world with childlike wonder and loves to talk to new people.

There's Marco! Also made by Rav, he is a medical unit. See, Rav and his brother eventually find someone that needs their help who happens to be chronically ill. So Rav said "Fuck, I'm not a doctor I don't know this shit." So he made a guy who does! Marco is definitely the big brother between the two. (Despite being much smaller than Pixel) He's much more objective! Focused on his work with little room to play (we're working on that though)

Uhm. There's Kit! He was made by my isopod (alien species I made don't worry about it) Soaren. What's really interesting about Kit is that he was originally made to be just a toolkit. He was a drone. No personality, pick up screwdriver. Put down screwdriver. Saw that wood. Y'know? One day, though, Pixel picked him up! And he didn't like that. So he stabbed him in the visor with a screwdriver and has been developing his personality ever since! (Now he has a real body and everything, but he was originally essentially the R2D2 of our little robot family.) This guy has got QUITE the potty moth, I tell you what. Kit is in love with Deja (They are very mean to each other)

This is getting lengthy. Forgive me.

Sol(ace)! She was made by Koteus after his crew got the corpse ditch treatment. He made her in the image of the species he lived with when he was off-planet, which is why her name is Solace. She was originally created with the function of starmapping, but she decided that she would be much happier as a caretaker for youngsters. So she told Koteus as much! She's filled with childlike wonder as well, and likes to ask questions to gain clarity instea of just looking it up on the great big web of internet.

Cal is her little brother! She told Koteus she wanted a little brother and he was like yeah okay. Cals still new..And he is very shy! If someone he doesn't know that well enters the room he's in, he'll pretend he's just a shell and just lay there unmoving until you leave. Hehe.

There's Bee! Oh man, Bee is Stars android. See, Star was raised on a planet where essentially everyone is the smartest person you've ever met. And while Star is pretty knowledgeable himself he thought it sucked that there are people out there that go without access to what he has access to. So he made Bee! Bee is a database. They take their job very seriously and they catalogue information about pretty much everyone they've ever come across. They're very interested in getting to know you. (The premise of Star being my narrator is that between him and Bee, they gather quite a hefty amount of information about a range of different people) Bees even able to get into secure databases and find out information about someone/thing that might have been expunged or otherwise locked.

I really love to make robots.

Then there's Deja! Deja is an android that was made by a sick little troll of mine (His name is Xanuun if you care). Because he needed a companion, and the trolls around him at that point in his life were not very good to him. Since he was made by a little kid, Dejas a little glitchy. Often repeating words (like a stutter) and full of involunatry movements. He is also a medical bot! He’s very kind and understanding. Unless you're Kit. He is going to beat your ass if you're Kit (He is in love with Kit.)

I have other ones but this post is so long already..

[angrelysimpping]

What got you into dol?

Was h0rny and looking for a game I played a few hours of like, 8 ish years ago (it was Trials in Tainted Space). Found DoL insted and gave it a go. Ended up playing for 8 hrs straight. Game kept crashing on my phone so I downloaded it onto my computer. Didn't realize the game was so big and got sucked in.

Pc gender?

All pcs are Herm with varying genders. My main PC is named Low and they go by any pronouns, but they're currently being perceived as a girl because I keep going to Remy's farm, like a fool.

Gender ratio in town?

Mostly male, tbh.

Npc genders?

Also mostly male. I like penetration 👉👈

Favoriete love intrest?

Whitney. Usually. Sometimes Avery.

Least favorite love interest?

Black Wolf. 😔 I honest to God forget they're an LI.

Favorite npc?

DARRYL. I want to wrap them in a thousand blankets. (....Remy....is a very close second.....)

Least favorite npc?

Mmmm, maybe Sam or Quinn? Just 'cause they don't have a lot ofcontent? Like, I'd gladly strangle Leighton and Remy, but they're interesting characters in their own rights and I like playing with them. So, low content = low favorability in my books.

Favoriete teacher?

Doren. 🥰🥰🥰 They give "would let the students still figuring out they're not cishet hang out in their class room during lunch" vibes. Also, I know Avery's sweater has become A Thing on this blog, but if anyone in this game is to actually have an oversized sweater they let PC wear, it's going to be Doren.

Least favorite teacher?

Mmmm, River, maybe? I quite like all of them, but River has the least content.

Favoriete play style? (Sub/def/mix)

I play Low the most and they're defiant but Low is the only purely defiant PC out 5. Three of them are whatever and one of them is purely submissive.

Favoriete transformation?

Succowbus aka demon cow. I used to hate cow tf because I hate big tits on myself and Low very much started out as just a self insert. But now she's her own character.

...and the ears are cute 👉👈

If no combo tfs then kitty tf!

Least favorite transformation?

Mmmm, fallen angel tf. Never had it. Don't see much use for it. Have to get and then loose the angel tf to get it.

Favoriete job?

Spa is nice for quick cash but my favorite way to get money is thievery. It's fun!

Least favorite job?

Tending the stall at the farmer's market. It gets boring. If there was a chance an npc would buy from PC, it would make things more interesting, I think. Always sell farm produce to the factory, even though they take a cut.

Favoriete bad end?

...F-farm 😖👉👈

Least favorite bad end?

Mmm, asylum, maybe.

Do you collect feats?

Nah.

Do you use cheats?

Oh, all the time. I have exactly one non cheat PC. I do most stuff legit but have cheats on for good measure.

Reasonably debauched, Vanilla, everything goes or no beasts?

Everything goes. Beast people insted of just beasts. Real close to turning swarms off because they get tedious. If I'd known you could turn off certain swarms in the beginning, I would have turned off wasps 'cause ~bees scarry~ but I'm fine with them now.

Anything else you wanna confess?

It's odd to think about how much I owe to this game? Like, I really like writing. It brings me so much joy. The last time I wrote something before this was like, maybe three or four years ago? When I came up with Jasper? And now I write every day? It's fucking wild. I love it 💕

[holyalto]

♡ A Sims Tag! ♡

This is from ALMOST a year ago. I seen it in my drafts so it's getting posted NOW because I'm finally playing the sims again lol.

Show us a rendition of yourself in your own art! Can be anything! Sims render? Random stick figure? Picrew? Go nuts! (Just be sure to tag the artist if you use someone else’s picrew!!!!) Tag the blogs you want to know, and don’t be a dick that’s it! Also, feel free to answer as vague or in-depth as you want. And if you don’t want to answer a question for any reason just don’t vibe with it! Skip it if you wanna!

(original tag by morgynemberisagenderfluiddaddy and the original post is here. i was tagged by cosmiksims, thank you!!)

1.) Do you prefer to be referred by your name or blog name?

either one is fine with me! i go by my nickname on here anyway. my full name is mercedes. :)

2.) Where are you from?

ohio. i have never tasted anything except corn and chocolate covered blobs of peanut butter in my life. someone please help me.

3.) Do you have pets? 👀

yes! my fiance and i have quite a few. we have a cat named tiramisu, a guinea pig named cookie, a bearded dragon named borris, a leopard gecko named anubi and a florida king snake that i call roach because i can't pronounce his real name <3 (and i don't like him rip)

4.) Tell us about your “dream.”

i just want to be a good mother, partner, friend, family member, stranger. that's it. i know it's very simplistic but that's my dream. i want to be a good person.

5.) Aside from art, what are your hobbies?

my 'art' is playing the sims apparently hahahaha. uhm, i like other video games as well. more simulation management style. things like software inc, jurassic world evolution, project highrise, tropico, ANIMAL CROSSING EEEEE, etc.

6.) Does anyone irl know about your blog?

my fiance! he called my bee legacy 'fan fiction' and i nearly died.

7.) Do you know anyone from your blog irl?

nope.

8.) What are some fun facts about you?

i own every animal crossing main game. i still play pokemon go everyday. i have a six month old son who is VERY cute. and i'm turning 22 next month.

9.) What’s your day job?

i'm a stay at home mom :)

10.) What’s your aesthetic?

uh!! next question because i'm just... slob trait lmao

11.) What kind of artist are you?

i actually went to graphic design school. college sucks hard when you're mentally ill tho lol

12.) How did you get into your form of art?

art - wattpad. i was 12 and started making book covers for people haha. i got really into photo manipulation after that and took that as my focus in vocational school and then went and did about two semesters of it in college. sims - i was 11 and wanted the paranormal pack. my mom went out and bought it for me because i begged for it for days. i played with it daily and eventually collected all of the sims 3 packs except for the last one. it took me a long time to switch to sims 4 after release because i was stubborn. i bought it like four months late, opened it twice, hated that i didn't understand the controls, and refused to play it again until a few months later.

13.) What do you watch/listen/read/anything else while you create?

youtube mostly, in the background. a lot of flabaliki/simssupply and buzzfeed unsolved because i love them and their dumb faces so much.

14.) What meme would you use to describe yourself?

probably the 'not a thought behind those eyes' tiktok audio

15.) If you were on the run, what would you change your name to?

why would i just give away information i may need in the future

16.) Have you ever or do you want to change blog names?

yes! i want to but i have some cc that uses that name. so i'll stick with it.

17.) God forbid Tumblr decides to pull a MySpace and lets us have page songs, what song would you choose?

i would simply delete my blog.

and now, the tags. only if you’re comfortable though! ♡ just tagging the people i see most in my notifications. don't feel pressured <3 @almost-spring @coatedinhoney @whyhellosims + absolutely anyone else. just say i tagged you.

[suguwu]

hi bee, feel free to ignore this and I'm sorry if it sounds like I'm dumping on you but

so Im not a minor and I've had an NSFW blog for a while where I've gained some followers and i enjoy writing and posting on there. I've always asked people I know in real life to respect the fact that i don't want them reading or knowing about my blog and I've always avoided talking to them about it. I've always just wanted the blog to be private and just for me.

So recently my friend ( they're very close to me) and i get into an argument where she says i barely talk to them because I'm busy and that we're drifting apart. I'm not the type of person who updates people about every single detail of life and it's always been this way. I don't really show i care with big physical acts. So anyway I ask to work things out and she refuses to do so. She ends our friendship and reveals that she secretly had a Tumblr account where she was following me and had private messaged as well as interacted with me as well. Not only is she a minor but she said she only did that to be 'relevant to me' and since we didn't talk much anymore she wanted to keep up with what i was doing.

Am i wrong for feeling so betrayed? I feel bad for making her feel like she wasn't relevant to me but I feel so wronged that she would go to such lengths.

Again I'm sorry for dumping this on you, feel free to ignore this.

hi anon! i'm so sorry, i meant to answer this a while ago (as i almost always do with asks). you're okay! i appreciate the out though <3

i think that at the base of this, you set a boundary (two boundaries, in fact) and both of them were crossed. and while all boundaries are important, these are two big boundaries.

it sucks that she didn't feel relevant to you, but at the end of the day, the way around that is not to break very clear boundaries. especially as a minor. we put that boundary there for a reason when we have nsfw blogs. so i don't think you're wrong for feeling betrayed. i think most people would.

i'm sorry this went down like this, anon--it always sucks to lose a friend but it's hard when it ends in this type of situation. i know it's been a while since you sent this, so i hope time has let the sting lessen a little bit <333

[bigbrotherlouis]

i’m obsessed with joel farabee and morgan frost and you should be too: a primer

hello! welcome! recently i have become infatuated with morgan frost and joel farabee for a lot of reasons but mostly because of that one post that i spent like twenty minutes searching various blogs for that said “people are freaking out about sexualising hockey players, meanwhile joel farabee is one instagram comment away from telling morgan frost he’d suck him dry.” in my head rent free. hit a girl up if you have the post.

anyway! frosty and beezy:

[hard cut to me whispering “oh my god even their nUMBERS are friends” i’m fine.]

this is more like about vibes and less about facts, so you can google if you want to know more about their, like, bios and stats and stuff that’s not 99% rpf or conjecture. this primer is just the things that make me scream. however, that being said, they do play well on a line together and both are very good players.

joel farabee is american, from new york i believe but his dad is from philly, and falls neatly into the category of BORN TO BE A FLYER. longtime fan, hugely excited to play for the team, brings it up all the time.

morgan frost, from ontario canada, was not.

a real, actual tweet. he tweeted this with his WHOLE chest and then joined the flyers like three years later. i adore it. another real actual tweet i adore:

sweet, sweet joel. he misses his buddies :( no doubt including morgan because they are, by all appearances, obsessed with each other. i’m trying not to keep  using the word obsessed in this primer but it’s hard because they are. morgan’s a year older, a first round draft pick in 2017 and joel’s a first round pick in 2018, but they didn’t start playing together until 2019, i believe, because joel played for a college team in boston. side note: he also captained team usa and wore a number 28 in honour of claude giroux and i am absolutely not okay about it.

e! mo! tion! al! incidentally, frosty wears danny briere’s number when he plays for the flyers, which. take from that what you will. iykyk. their NUMBERS are FRIENDS. HERITAGE SOULMATES. joel’s been called up to play on the flyers (and did really well in the playoffs!) but we’re still waitin’ for morgan to come along too but the coaching staff hasn’t recognised the raw power of true love yet so.

at this point, you’re probably saying “sasha shut up about their fucking numbers and talk about why they’re obsessed with each other” but good news! i do not need to do that because the official flyers media has done that for me! (x) i’d recommend watching it because it’s a lot packed into a neat 100 seconds, but notable moments include the voice over saying “joel farabee and morgan frost have found that going at it together has its benefits” within the first thirty seconds. that is a real direct quote. i can’t believe it either. there’s also a lot of light homoerotic bonding over playing chel, them sitting across from each other  on their beds, the admission of being ROOMMATES (oh my god they were roommates), this shot of them sitting with their mouths wide open on either side of their dad,

and also joel wearing a hat with a canadian maple leaf on it, despite being from the the united states. wonder where he got that from. please watch the video.

when they’re not playing chel or, you know, going at it together, they’re being horny in each other’s instagram comments. there’s honestly.... so many of these that i can include but we’re just gonna go with my favourites.

when i say i think about this comment on a picture of morgan with isaac ratcliffe, a fellow flyers prospect on a daily basis, i mean it. i’ll be just doing my thing, minding my own business, and MORGAN MAKES ME VENMO HIM JUST TO TALK will pop into my head, completely uninvited. king shit for morgan to do and king shit for joel to admit on social media for the world to see, but joel admitting things he maybe shouldn’t is a running theme. 

cool. TOTALLY not flirting or anything.

joel. also both their exhibitionist streaks should be explored in fic more i am JUST sayin.

ok but bee you were lookin. like you can chirp but you were lookin, don’t lie. 

when ur in love with ur roommate but ur both hockey players so u can only communicate that love via chirping when he’s with the boys :(

what’s it called when you vibe really well with someone and also live with them and also comment on their shirtlessness and also maybe kiss them on the mouth a little? d... da... dating?? can’t be it.

morgan is a little more composed in the comments and mostly just posts inside jokes i cannot comprehend, or compliments. it’s still cute.

this was on a playoffs pic where joel’s wearing #28 love 2 see it love a supportive boyf always

this one was of joel with a fish he caught and i’m sorry but i did not want it on my phone.

but morgan can’t hide his affection for long. (me, in the distance: TWENTY EIGHT TWENTY EIGHT TWENTY EIGHT!!!!!!!)

there’s more comments but they’re boring and this is long, mostly joel chirping  morgan for wearing baseball or football stuff. however! they are also on twitter where they keep each other humble after incredible goals, like bros do,

this is DEFINITELY flirting. like, blatant. it’s like that kind of flirting when you’re thirteen and you don’t know what to do with your body so you just kinda steal your crush’s stuff or insult them because all attention is good attention, right??

but when push comes to shove, beezy is always gonna look out for his boy (because they are in love):

some important pictures of them together, for your pleasure: 

this is so DUMB and i love it

friends supporting friends!!!

this is them meeting their hockey dads :) so cute :) joel is promising g that he’ll have morgan back by ten yessir he will be respectful of boundaries and curfew. jake is high fiving morgan on getting some. this is facts i just call em like i see em.

and finally!

is this allowed?????  is this allowed???? it’s hard to tell but i’m pretty sure that’s joel on his knees for in front of morgan and i just??? how is that allowed???? it’s been five days and this picture has RUINED me. someone write me an essay to have on my desk by morning, stat.

also v unrelated but here is a video of morgan frost reading, proving he’s the smart one in the relationship. that’s not saying much but, hey! at least there’s proof he can read.

obviously different ships capture people in different ways but there’s something about them to me, personally, that is just so captivating. there’s a lot of potential for different fic vibes, and joel in particular always has a really fun voice to read (and also to write). they definitely have chemistry, they’re pitted against each other so there’s a good-natured rivalry going on, CLOTHES SHARING AND HERITAGE SOULMATE NUMBERS, and, like, they just genuinely seem to enjoy each other. someone PLEASE write more fic for them or by god i’ll have to do it myself.

ok that’s everything for now, i believe. they’re in love and don’t care who knows it and i’m obsessed. (however, i’m also obsessed with joel farabee and andrei svechnikov together, for which i have a one-picture argument for here.)

(p.s. anything not linked i screenshotted myself thank youuu for reading have a good day and remember: morgan makes joel vemno him just to talk 😌)

edit: hello. i wrote this on election night as a way to take off the edge of my nerves and it is not as funny or screechy as i wanted it to be so i’m going to add some now.  

[discoscoob]

Okok i kinda worry that maybe we need to reel it in a little with the lokious hate

Like, long time follower-love your blog, got some great sylkie content and oh my goood it gives me life!!!- I’m just worried we’re just spiraling into hating on the other ship and finding reasons to feel morally superior to “the other guys”. Which is exactly what the antis are doing

Yes yes i do agree that the mental health point WAS inappropriate; but the digs at lokius feels inappropriate too. Like…its just a ship. And its just a shipper doing what shippers do (regardless of ship). They made a headcanon that’s not actually canon. Sure we don’t care for it much but i think the actual issue is that they said something that was hurtful to people with mental health issues and not that they hoped this makes sylkie invalid. I can see the whole thing just being some young kid who doesn’t know any better getting a little too caught up in shipper brain and not realizing what they’re saying. I don’t think it should be treated as something to then stamp over all lokius shippers, it doesn’t feel fair and it’s the kinda thing a lot of antis do to sylkie shippers just so they can find reasons to hate them more

And yeah sure i can definitely see a future where kids expecting their ship to be endgame causes a mass outbreak of temper tantrums, i have seen this all happen before. And i 100% think that there’s nothing anyone can do to stop it. But i DO think we can make an effort to ignore it and hopefully stop fueling the antis desire to hate on everything (remember don’t feed the troll rules, it won’t stop them but if everyone ignores them it cuts off fresh meat and they start having to cannibalize their own peers)

I know it’s really easy to fall into it. It feels great to put the other guys down and pretend like we’re “holier than thou” for reading the story “as the author intended” but idk man…it just feels weird to keep talking about lokius as tho the issue is the ship itself and not just a bunch of teenagers getting too stubborn with how they consume media (which if you guys remember your fandom history, has been happening since WE were teenager! Wouldn’t it have sucked to have a bunch of older fans seemingly moralizing against a gay ship we liked “unprompted”?)

Eh idk I’m rambling now i think. But i guess i just worry we’re maybe swinging bats at nests without checking what’s in them because we’re worried we found bees but it could just be humming birds buzzing. I think the issue here isn’t lokius but just how kids are consuming media by looking for evidence to fit their theories and not making theories to match the evidence, as the current generation of teens will always do (because they’re always changing out every few years so we start to see patterns in their behaviors). I don’t have a solution for it, but dunking on them isn’t helping.

(Ps this is directed at all of us and not just specifically you. ❤️)

You’re right I probably got a little bit carried away with myself. However regarding my rant yesterday, specifically the longer one, I wanted to keep it general because I wasn’t targeting it towards anyone specific, rather I just wanted to get my feelings about mentally ill people being in relationships off my chest without trying to make it about any ridiculous ship war because I feel like it was something I was more concerned about within real life than whatever fictional characters do on a tv show. That’s why I kept it out of any sort of tags.

But I understand what you’re saying regarding the l0kius shippers and I mean it seems like just one post here and there when I just want to say something in the moment but I admit it does begin to pile up after a while without realising and I appreciate that can become repetitive.

I honestly do try to keep it at a minimum though it’s just when it becomes something I’m particularly passionate about (and this goes beyond the TV show and the dramas within it) then I do sometimes get carried away with it.

And sometimes when you’re discussing a topic with anons, sometimes it can feel like it lasts days just because I might be answering anons all from one day over the course of a few days just because sometimes I can be slow with answering them all, but I do try to get anons regarding the same topic all answered together if I can.

But I’ll definitely try and be more aware of how often I’m discussing l0kius shippers in particular, and although I don’t really clarify it anywhere though I probably should, I honestly don’t mean to generalise them all and act like they’re all the same.

[amintyworld]

Mentors - Dream SMP Hunger Games AU

A/N: So this started as a one page drabble, then it turned into a six page fic. Oopsies! Anyway this is meant to be a sort of prequel to ‘The Victor’ drabble I submitted over at @dreamsmp-au-ideas, but can be read as stand-alone. Anyway, I wrote this in the span of an entire DAY because I have no self-control when it comes to writing and this AU has sparked some Middle School nostalgia in me. Anyway, hope you enjoy and please check out the blog where the AU idea came from, they’ve given me a LOT of inspiration for fics to write. -Minty

TW: Talk/mention of death, fighting, depression/loss, threats of death, slight insanity. (Tell me if I need to tag anything else!)

Summary: Tommy’s an angry orphan, Wilbur grows a soft spot for Tommy, Sam is the only braincell left in District 7, Tubbo has Dadschlatt and needs a lot of hugs, Phil earned the achievement ‘Oh no Feelings’. 

------------------------------

Tubbo intertwined his fingers as he walked with the guards toward the white porcelain-like door. The shock of his name getting pulled hadn’t exactly faded yet, and the dread of the logical conclusion he’d drawn up in his head did not exactly help matters. He knew he was dead - he’d never trained for combat, he wasn’t agile or fast, he knew next to nothing about surviving in the wilderness, or even whatever the Gamemaker threw at him for that matter. His fate was completely sealed the moment that boy with devil horns picked his name out of the bowl. 

He took a breath, his hand on the door handle. Time to say goodbye.

As soon as he shut the door, he could feel his father’s comforting hand on his shoulder. “Hey, kiddo.” His voice was gentle, warm, and kind. Tubbo’s emotions couldn’t help but become unplugged at the voice as tears ran down his cheeks and he clung to his father tightly, afraid to let go. Schlatt wrapped his arms around Tubbo gently, rubbing his back to give him some comfort. “Oh Tubbo, I know kiddo, shhh...”

“I’m so scared, Dad.” Tubbo’s voice wavered as his body shook with sobs, and Schlatt’s heart broke at his son’s voice. 

“I know buddy, I know.” Schatt moved so he could brush his hands through his son’s hair. “But… but you don’t have to be. I know you can do it, I know you can win.” A few tears slipped down Schlatt’s cheek. “You’re so much smarter than any of those meatheads in the Capitol, probably in any other District in Panem. You’re so much stronger than you know, kiddo. I know you can do it. Just survive, I know you can outthink any of them, I know you can win. Just survive, win, and I’ll be waiting right here when you come back, okay?”

“And… and we can finally make s’mores?”

Schlatt’s face broke out into a smile through tears. “Yes, yes we can make as many s’mores as you want! We… we’ll… I’ll show you the bee farms, and I promise I’ll be there every single night for dinner, no more late hours at the office. I swear.” Schlatt’s hands squeezed Tubbo’s shoulders. “But you gotta win and come home, okay?”

Tubbo’s eyes blurred with tears as he scanned his father’s face, words dying in his throat, not knowing what to say. “Dad, I-”

Schlatt pulled him down into another hug as the two wept, holding onto each other for dear life, not daring to let go. Then, a soldier appeared in the doorway. “He’s got a train to catch, Mr. Ram.”

Schlatt breathed deeply, pulling away from the hug to run his hand through his son’s hair one last time, taking in his face as he brushed a bit of hair out of his face. “I…” He bit his lip. “I love you, Tubbo. Don’t forget that, okay?”

“I love you too, Dad.” Tubbo gave a quick hug to his father, wrapping his arms around his neck.

------------------------------------

When Wilbur was assigned as a mentor for District 7, he was more than a little nervous. The other Victors from Victor’s Row assured him he’d do just fine, but still, he was not exactly looking forward to it. He’d met the escort and advisor a few days ago, someone from the Capitol named Sam. For someone from one of the richest districts in Panem, Sam didn’t exactly dress in high fashion - no bright colors or extravagant hairstyles. Instead, he simply wore a clean formal vest and slacks. He gave Wilbur the firmest handshake he’d ever been given in his entire life, and despite the situation seemed almost cheerful. 

If he remembered correctly, he was supposed to settle in his personal car on the train and meet Sam in the dining car. Sam seemed to have every detail of their trip planned out perfectly, which Wilbur more than appreciated. He was already dealing with enough as it was having to mentor two kids and try to get them sponsors while basically reliving the worst time in his entire life. Ths screams, the blood… the memories were… they were not good.

They called him insane, unstable. The One Who Went Mad. When he used to panic and whimper and mutter to himself, they used to laugh at him. They thought what he’d been through, the things that he’s seen, and the nightmares that plagued him were nothing more than a funny joke. They loved his pain and suffering. Wilbur didn’t like when they laughed at him like some stupid monkey in a cage. That’s why he preferred to just stay home most of the time. But at this point mentorship was unavoidable, it was under Capitol orders.

It was a bit early before he was due to meet up with Sam in the dining car, and he craved a cup of black coffee. His mind whirred a bit from the familiar fancy train cars, and he needed something to clear his mind from remembering. When he opened the door, however, he didn’t expect to see one of the tributes already here this early. From his blond messy hair and his bright blue eyes, he assumed this was Tommy, the boy. Wilbur held up his hand to show he meant to harm before he moved past the teen sat near the window towards the tea cart, fiddling with the french press. Successfully pouring the pitch-black liquid in a very expensive looking teacup, he cradled it in his hands as he moved to sit across from the teenage boy, still focused on the train station outside the window. “Uh, interesting view?”

Tommy looked over at him for a moment, eyes narrowed in annoyance. “Something like that.”

Wilbur sipped the bitter coffee thoughtfully. He took a breath before speaking. “You know, you’re allowed to say goodbye to your friends and family in the Governor’s office, if one of the Peacekeepers made a mistake I’m sure there’s still time for you to…”

“No.” The teenager’s voice seemed firm, staring out of the window. “They didn’t make a mistake.” 

“Uh, well…” Wilbur felt the awkward tension in the room rise. “You are a… bit early, we don’t leave for another half-hour…”

“Well, I didn’t exactly have anywhere else to go. No one to say goodbye to, so I guess they just skipped that part for convenience.” He looked almost angry as he turned back to Wilbur. “Do you mind maybe not staring at me?”

“I’m trying to talk to you.”

“Well, I don’t want to talk to you.” Tommy snapped. “You shouldn’t just start up a conversation just because you feel bored. I’m not paid to be your fucking entertainment.”

Add this to the number of reasons Wilbur didn’t want to be a mentor - teenagers. This kid certainly had a mouth on him. 

Wilbur’s eyes narrowed in anger as he gripped his teacup, trying his best to stay calm. “Well, whether you like it or not, you’re all of Panem’s entertainment now.” Wilbur quipped as he moved to walk away. “So maybe you should learn to be a bit more likable.”

As he began to walk across the car to move toward a table in the corner of the room, he felt a heavy weight on his back as he lost his grip on his cup as it landed on the metal ground of the car with a loud crash, the coffee staining the expensive carpets. He felt punches on his back and head as someone tried to pin him down. Wilbur sighed in frustration. With ease, he jabbed Tommy’s side, putting him off balance, and flipped the kid over, grabbing his arm and pulling it behind his back. Tommy struggled against Wilbur’s grip, angry. He could see tears in the teenager’s eyes as he practically growled at Wilbur. “Take it back you bitch! Get off of me and fight! Take it back or I’ll kill you! I’ll kill you!” Tommy’s anger slowly disappeared as he began to cry, his body shaking as he sucked in breaths, slowly realizing what exactly he said. “I’ll… I’ll…” Wilbur’s heart couldn’t help but ache at the sight of the poor kid, bringing back memories of that time, that feeling of being trapped.

The door at the other end of the train car flew open, to reveal Sam and the girl tribute from the Reaping, Sarah. “Wilbur, what are you doing?” Sam questioned as Wilbur quickly got off of Tommy, holding out his hand for the teenager to take. 

“Uh, right.” As Tommy’s eyes met Wilbur’s the mentor noticed how they scanned across his face, confused at Wilbur’s sudden change from annoyance to kindness. Wilbur smiled slightly. “Let’s save the real fighting for the arena, yeah?” Tommy hesitated before taking Wilbur’s hand as he helped him up, getting even more confused as he quickly wiped off his tear-stained cheeks.

“Sarah Teller and Tommy Innit, meet your Mentor, Wilbur Soot.”

-----------------------------------------------

Tubbo formally met his other tribute mate, a girl he knew from those fancy business dinners Schlatt would host - he never really talked with her much then, but it was nice to see a familiar face, that was for sure. Her name was Crystal.

They arrived and settled in without much really going on. Their advisor, the one with the devil horns a few hours earlier was their advisor, Bad. They were very confused at first why anyone would name their child that, until Bad insisted it was a nickname for ‘Badboy’… Tubbo couldn’t say he didn’t believe the advisor with some of the fancy and absurd names that seemed so popular in the richer districts. “Now, the best part is that even though you are both chosen as tributes, you’ll be able to see all the Capitol can offer before you’re in the arena. It’s a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity!”

“I guess it’ll be kind of cool to see the Capitol.” Crystal agreed as she took a sip of a fruitful smelling juice of some kind. Her eyes furrowed as if she was focusing intently on the next words out of her mouth. “I mean, this year economy-wise wasn’t particularly the best for them, seeing as their main exports have been plagued with attacks. It’ll be interesting to see how they fair under unseemly conditions.”

“E...Economy?” Tubbo asked in a silent question to his fellow tribute, whose face flushed in embarrassment. 

“My father is the head of exports for District 3. Knowing about stocks and stuff is kind of his thing… then, I guess, it became my thing.” Crystal shrugged, and Tubbo thoughtfully bit into a buttered crust of bread. “I don’t really think that’ll be too helpful in the Games, though.”

“Speaking of the Games, where’s that old man… I told him to meet us here almost an hour ago.” Bad thoughtfully added with a sigh. “He’s going to miss dinner completely if he doesn’t hurry up.”

Almost as if on cue, the car door slid open, and in walked a tall broad blonde-haired man who looked completely mentally checked out. He yawned as he reached over the table to grab an apple and one of Bad’s homemade muffins from the basket. He looked over to the two kids and gave them a slight smile and a two-fingered salute as if to say ‘hi’. “Crystal, Tubbo, this is Phil Craft, your Mentor,” Bad said, quickly gesturing to the man, anger bubbling to the surface. “Phil, where have you been?” Bad demanded, leaning over to snatch the muffin out of Phil’s hand. “No muffins until you eat actual food! We’re in District Two tomorrow and they expect us up and ready by 9 am sharp-!”

“Alright, alright! Stop freaking out, okay?” Phil pinched his nose in annoyance, turning his gaze to look over at the two teenagers again. Phil met Tubbo’s eyes and smirked. “Also, you said I needed real food?” Phil threw the apple up into the air as it caught wind on his arm, traveling over his shoulder blades and taking off of his opposite hand, landing in his mouth as he sunk his teeth into the apple flesh. “That count?” He asked between chewing as Tubbo and Crystal couldn’t help but smile and laugh, clapping to applaud Phil’s trick.

“You bail on us for a whole hour, show up to eat a single apple, and then got back to your little hermit hut?!” Bad’s voice raised slightly. “What do you even do in there that’s more important than this, huh??”

Phil’s playful smile dropped for a moment, replaced with something more melancholy as Bad clearly struck a nerve. There was a tense moment of silence before Phil resumed his happy persona. “Well, I didn’t mean to be a bother and disrupt your dinner. Now that I have my apple and my muffin, I’ll take my leave.” He looked over to the two tributes. “I’ll see both of you in the morning.” Phil smiled before quickly exiting the room once more, leaving a slightly irritated Bad, and two very off-put tributes.

Tubbo couldn’t sleep. The day’s events weighed too heavy on his mind - the Reaping, saying goodbye to his father, dealing with the thoughts of his own inevitable fate. He missed Schlatt’s warm embrace, he missed how his father ruffled up his hair just in the right way to say ‘I’m proud of you, kid.’ He missed home and its faint smell of motor oil and coal from the factories that always seemed to seep in through the windows and cracks in the walls just right. He didn’t feel safe here, he was in one of the fanciest bedrooms on a train that he knew he’d never be able to get a ticket for years, and yet nothing about this place felt safe.

He was being chased by something, something with claws and teeth that whispered nothing but death. But Tubbo didn’t want to die. Even if he knew it was his fate, Tubbo did not want to die. So he ran, his legs quickly getting sore and tired from overuse, yet he pushed on. He heard whispers in his ears, taunting him, laughing at his pathetic escape. Tears ran down Tubbo’s eyes as he pressed his hands over his ears and continued to run, something pinned him to the ground, claws sinking into his back as he whimpered in pain. A chill ran down his spine as the monster growled close to Tubbo’s ear. His heartbeat quicker as he begged, no pleaded to whatever was out there, please please I just want to live-!

He awoke with a start, looking around, tears streaming down his face as his body shook with an adrenaline rush. His hands found their way over his heart, making sure he was still alive as arms wrapped around him, shushing him and holding him close. “Woah there, Woah there… it’s okay, it’s okay. It was just a nightmare, it wasn’t real, shhh…” The panic in Tubbo’s chest slowly quieted as he wrapped his arms around the person, needing comfort desperately. The figure seemed startled for a moment before brushing back some of Tubbo’s hair out of his eyes. Tubbo looked at the figure for a moment, confused.

“Phil?”

“Hey mate.” Phil smiled warmly. “That was quite the nightmare, yeah? You were flopping around like a fish out of water.”

“But…” Tubbo sniffed, pulling away to wipe away his tears. “But why? How?”

“You sounded like you were in physical pain, I was worried. Can’t have a tribute dead before they even get to the arena, you know. Would really throw off the whole schedule.” Phil half-joked as he looked down at the mattress, not being able to meet Tubbo’s eyes at that moment. Tubbo’s gaze was focused on his mentor.

“Why’d you help me, we just met today for like two seconds at most-”

“It doesn’t really matter that much, I was just passing by-!” Phil dismissed quickly before Tubbo’s tone got more serious.

“Phil, if you’re going to be my Mentor you’ve gotta at least tell me the truth. I need you to tell me the absolute truth when it comes to this because I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing, what I’m up against, how I’m even supposed to survive, but you do. I need you if I ever stand even a chance of getting home. Please.” Phil let out a frustrated sigh.

“You reminded me of my son, that’s all. When he used to be a tribute.” Phil said, looking toward the ground. “He’d have nightmares, he was so scared but I told him I’d never leave his side, so when he got picked I went with him as his Mentor.” Phil sucked on his cheek. “I thought that if I went with him, talked him through it, got every single sponsor I could, he’d…” Phil sighed. “I just didn’t want for you to have to deal with the nightmare alone, no one should have to handle everything alone.” Moving off his bed, he looked over. “I’ll be across the hall, okay?”

“Oh...Okay.” Tubbo said, nodding. “Thanks.”

Phil nodded back as he turned and Tubbo saw Phil’s hand move toward his chest quickly, was he putting his hand over his heart or something…? As Phil moved toward the door, one question stood on Tubbo’s mind, he bit his lip for a moment, considering. 

“Phil, wait-!” Phil turned around, and Tubbo saw Phil’s hand wrap around a necklace of some kind he didn’t notice before, in the shape of a heart. “Did… did he survive? Your son?”

A tense silence followed.

“I think that’s enough for tonight,” Phil said. “No more questions, you need to get some sleep.”

[feminaexlux]

All That Matters (Pt 1: I Got Chills)

Happy Valentine’s Day! This is my @lovebugs-and-snakecharmers exchange fic for @nobodyfamousposts. Find this on AO3 here!

Summary: What if Miracle Queen happened 6 months later in the dead of winter?

Part 1 of 3, probably.

⁂

"Ladybug?"

"Yeah, Chat?"

"I have a girlfriend."

"Oh! That's wonderful, congratulations!"

Chat Noir looked… confused, which was odd given the news that Ladybug just got. "I thought you'd be jealous," Chat said eventually. Part of him sounded chagrined, but another part of him sounded a little relieved.

Ladybug tilted her head. "Why would I be jealous? I'm happy for you!"

"Thanks," Chat said with a small smile. "It's new for me, you know? I've never done this before. I feel like I'm going to mess something up."

Ladybug laughed. "You're a good guy, Chat. I think all relationships are going to be hard and there will always be ups and downs. But I think you'll be fine if you work together on the problems." Ladybug then had a concern. "You're not dating her as Chat are you?"

"Pfft, no, no my Lady, the real me is doing that part," Chat laughed.

"Okay, good. Remember you can't reveal your identity to anyone."

"I know, my Lady, I know." Chat sighed. "I wish I could, sometimes. It sucks having to leave her without a good explanation, you know?"

Ladybug paused and considered. "Can I ask how you deal with that?"

"Luckily for me, my fath-- uh, family has a pretty tight leash on this cat. I say that they need me and… she understands." Chat leaned forward and pulled up his knees to his chest, wrapping his arms around them. "She's… sad whenever that happens so I try to make it up to her."

Ladybug laid a hand on his shoulder and squeezed. "That's good. It sounds like the sooner we can take down Hawkmoth, the better."

Chat turned to her and nodded. "Yeah. Agreed."

Ladybug took her hand off his shoulder and rested it back on the roof of the building they were on. They had done some patrols and met back up again to report nothing out of the ordinary. They sat together watching the sunset as they did on the good days.

It was partly cloudy and chilly in the early days of winter. The freezing cold hadn't yet settled in but Ladybug knew it was coming in soon. She'd noticed in the previous winter that part of her felt sluggish and her body felt more lethargic in general, even in her powered up super suit. Tikki had said something about how ladybugs didn't do well in winter, and maybe that was why? Okay, sure. Ladybug didn't want to be any sort of liability to Chat or to the city of Paris when it got cold so she was able to convince Master Fu to lend out the other Miraculous on a semi-permanent basis.

Rena Rouge and Carapace were more than recurring heroes now. Ladybug had entrusted the Miraculous to Alya Cesaire and Nino Lahiffe after they promised to protect their identities, each other, the city of Paris, and to not misuse the Miraculous powers for personal gain. She’d done the same for Pegasus, Ryuuko, and Viperion. Ladybug didn’t know who King Monkey was so she had enlisted Fu’s help in tracking him down.

Queen Bee was… on an as-needed basis. Chloe Bourgeois was still an unknown. She had her moments of true selflessness but they'd been rare and unpredictable and that wasn't an ally Ladybug or Chat Noir could trust. They tried explaining that to Chloe once, but it ended when the mayor's daughter threw them out in a fit of tears. They still gave her another chance but the last time Queen Bee was used was with HeartHunter and Ryuuko had to bail them all out when Queen Bee stopped listening to them.

It wasn't going well.

"How are you doing, 'Bug?"

Ladybug snapped out of her thoughts and turned to face Chat. "I'm… okay. It's starting to get cold."

"Maybe you need to find yourself a boyfriend and get some warm snuggles," Chat grinned. "What about that boy you love?"

Ladybug closed her eyes. "He's found someone else," Ladybug said softly. She had a small smile on her face, remembering how it felt to see Adrien and Kagami together. Kagami fit in to his life so seamlessly and Adrien looked happier than Marinette had ever seen.

"I'm… I'm sorry."

"It's alright," Ladybug sighed, looking back out at the sunset. "I think he's happier now." And now Marinette wasn't feeling like the universe kept pushing back. It hurt a little bit to know nothing was going right with Adrien and there wasn't anything she could do to change it. She finally made the decision to stop feeling hurt all the time and allowed herself to let him go. "And I think I'm happier too."

"Okay," Chat smiled, sighing in relief. "That's great to hear. I'm sorry it didn't work out but I'm glad that you're happier. A happy Ladybug is always good news."

"And a happy Chat Noir is always good news as well," Ladybug giggled. "Thanks for letting me know."

"Of course. You're my best friend, Ladybug. I want to tell you everything, but…"

"You shouldn't tell me. It's to protect us," Ladybug stressed. "But… you know you're my best friend too."

⁂

One good thing about no longer obsessing over Adrien was that Marinette had less to worry about. The GirlSquad was no longer a pain in the proverbial butt about getting her to ask him out either. Instead Alya had fixed her sights on improving the LadyBlog and tracking down interviews with the other semi-permanent heroes, though (for obvious reasons) she had way more articles about Rena Rouge than any of the other Miraculous holders. It didn't seem like it was for personal gain as Alya had styled the interviews as asking the heroes advice to inform all of her blog readers how to defend against or prepare for akumas, so Marinette decided she'd let that pass for the greater good.

The only thing that felt a little weird about the GirlSquad sometimes was that Juleka seemed like she kept wanting to talk with Marinette and then backing out at the last second. That probably meant Juleka still felt confused about Marinette dating her brother.

Marinette knew it looked kinda bad to date someone else soon(?) after giving up on Adrien, especially since Adrien started dating Kagami(!), but it just happened so… naturally. Marinette had been the one to keep visiting Luka at the Liberty. Luka had kept inviting her to watch movies with him. They'd just felt like having lunch together often. After months of not-dating Marinette had finally asked, flustered and tripping over her words, if they actually were. Or… If he had wanted to.

"If you want to, I'm game," Luka had said casually, but Marinette had seen the faintest blush on him.

They had both been surprised when she said "Yes."

Their relationship was nice and easy. They had taken it slow. Most of their "dates" were just hanging out, low key chilling around each other, listening to music or working on Lycée homework. He would lend an ear to whatever she wanted to talk about and offered his thoughts and commentary. She'd given him small gifts here and there. They'd gone out ice skating and met up with other friends a few times. She had been worried that she'd been a pretty boring girlfriend overall but he said "If you wanna be here with me and I wanna be here with you, that's all that matters."

Whenever she and Luka were together during an akuma attack Luka did have the penchant for staying with her for as long as possible. He did eventually give an excuse of having to check up on Juleka or his mom and left Marinette to run out as Viperion… and then she would transform into Ladybug and follow after him. If anyone caught on that Ladybug always came in right after Viperion, the other heroes were smart enough to not comment on it. Nor comment on how they always left at the same time. Luka had, after sprinting back to her, breathlessly apologized the first few times for leaving her but Marinette had said it was so brave of him to look out for his family's safety and that'd been enough. Marinette did have to admit to herself that dating another superhero was actually pretty convenient. Chat would never let that go if he found out.

On the bad days it'd been so good to melt into his hugs when she felt the weight of the world press down harder on her. He'd been the calm in her life she so desperately wanted. It hit her like a ton of bricks just how much she needed him when he got taken from her.

⁂

Marinette and Luka were hanging out at Place des Vosges having coffee together after defeating yet another akuma. It had gotten much easier dealing with Hawkmoth most of the other heroes helping out, and the fight was over in practically no time at all. Just when everything calmed down again she and Luka heard screaming nearby and saw people running away from… a swarm of wasps?

They got up and started running, but they were too slow and the wasps were catching up. "Aw crap," Luka yelled. "Marinette watch out!" Luka pulled her into his arms and shielded her from them, getting stung in the process.

"Luka!" Marinette felt his arms drop from her shoulders and she looked up to see his face devoid of any emotion. His eyes turned a weird shade of yellow and he wasn't responding to her shaking him. "Luka!" For one tiny moment he blinked and looked down at her with concern, then his face went slack again. "Oh no, what happened to you?" He turned away from her and started walking off. "H-hey! No! Don't go!" She took his hand and tried to pull him into the bakery but he resisted and kept walking. Another swarm of wasps was closing in on her and Marinette cried out in frustration, letting Luka slip out of her grasp.

Wasps… wasps? Was this Chloe?! Oh no, Marinette thought, turning on her heels to sprint toward the Seine. She transformed while diving in, making sure to use her aqua powerup. She plunged into the river and then looked back up to see the swarm hovering above the water and eventually disperse away. She pulled out her yoyo and slid the cover up, checking if any of the other Miraculous holders were active.

Oh no. None of the other heroes were showing up on her communicator. At least not yet. Oh no. Ladybug let the communicator close and swam in circles, wondering just how she'd be able to handle this on her own if she had to. Suddenly she got a ping and Ladybug whipped out her yoyo, franticly checking which of her allies was nearby. Oh thank goodness Chat Noir was alright. Okay. She swam to meet him as he was heading in her direction and they met up halfway. "Chat! I'm so glad you're okay!"

"Yeah, I'm definitely glad to see you, 'Bug!"

"Th-this is… this is Queen Wasp again, isn't it?" Ladybug fretted and pulled her hair in a mix of frustration and guilt. "I… I thought…"

"We beat her before and we can do it again," Chat said, squeezing her shoulder with his hand. "And… and I have this, if we need it," he said somewhat sheepishly, pulling out what looked like a necklace. It was a choker… a very familiar choker. One she had given to Kagami Tsurugi to keep for the time being. What was Chat doing with the Dragon Miraculous? "I… found this near… a girl after she got stung by one of the wasps."

Ladybug blinked at the choker a few times. All she could think of was the dread she felt when the wasps were after her and Luka. What had Chat Noir gone through? And he had been conveniently nearby Kagami and the Dragon Miraculous and recognized it fast enough to grab it? "We might be able to use this." Ladybug closed Chat's hand over the choker. "You keep this for now, let's make a plan. None of the other heroes show up as active on my locator yet--" As soon as she said it she got a series of pings on her yoyo that indicated that most of the other Miraculous holders were becoming active, all but Ryuuko, and all at the same time and location.

Even Viperion showed up on her locator… she knew that Luka had been taken. Which could only mean…

"This is bad news." Ladybug bit at her bottom lip. "I personally saw that… one of the holders got stung. This means they've captured everyone else with a Miraculous and we're on our own. We'll have to use the Dragon and get any edge we can." Chat nodded at Ladybug and she sighed. "This is going to be tricky. We need to take Viperion out first."

"How are we going to do that?"

Ladybug and Chat Noir looked at each other in silence for a bit. "We have to split up and you have to use the Dragon Miraculous. You can't be caught by the wasps or Pegasus if you're in Wind form and I don't think it's safe to do a frontal assault with Viperion working against us."

"And what about you? What are you going to do?"

"I'm… going to use the Mouse. They can't capture all of me that way… hopefully."

Chat looked pained. "This sounds dangerous, 'Bug."

"Do you have another idea?" Chat shook his head. "Then let's do this for now. We'll have to play this by ear." Ladybug called her Lucky Charm and got a scarf, now waterlogged with Seine water (ew). "A scarf? What the heck am I supposed to do with a scarf?!"

⁂

To be continued (insert Jojo music here)

Actually j/k it's right here

[thequeenb]

Enemies With Benefits

Poppy x MC

This fic is inspired by @nerdy-twin post.

Warning: Smut

My, my did i heard right? My sources have been telling me all day about the hilarious fights between Queen Bee and our new starlet

Newbee proved to us since day one that she isn't one to be messed with but don't let her charms blind you. Yesterday Chlo-- i mean Poppy's dog got humiliated Infront of our eyes loves so grab your snacks because this is going to be a long semester isn't that right Bea?

Kisses, The T

Oh that's great. Another post from The T and everyone is looking at me again. Why do people care about this stupid blog anyways? Its so irrelevant and so--

"Oh my god Bea!!" Zoe runs up to me basically jumping from excitement

"Wow slow down what happened?" Seriously she can't even catch her breath

"Girl you are top 15 material now!!" she shoves her phone on my face and i gasp. Alright now i love this blog. Everyone around me whisper and after a moment i can hear cheers from every direction of the pathway

"Woooo B-E-A, B-E-A" they all chant my name and i bow laughing at my sweet victory, i cant wait to wipe Poppy's smirk off her face

Everything stops as i hear clapping behind my back, Aaaaand there she is. "Congratulations you managed to get pass the emo wannabes and the bimbos"

"Big words coming from a bitch like you" it feels like i am in a movie because everyone gasps not knowing how to react to that. Poppy stare at me long enough to kind of worry

"Listen here you ugly pathetic idiot--"

"That's not what you told me last night" i say kinda proud of myself and that's when basically everyone looks shocked. Zoe covers her giggles because she knows alllll about it and Miss Regina George over here have gone completely pink

"I would never not even in a million years touch someone as cheap as you, Chloe go fetch me a latte, ta ta garbage" and she walks away just like that

"Wow you really have an effect on her" Zoe comes behind me laughing and i roll my eyes brushing off another stupid fight

"Do you want to watch a movie and eat our feelings?"

"Girl you know me so well"

___

"Okay but do you want to watch Mean Girls, or the finale of Gossip girl?" I ask shuffling through Netflix

"Bea this school is the definition of Gossip girl and dont get me started on Mean girls, Poppy is--" And that's when we hear a knock on the door

"It must be Penelope i invited her" Zoe yells from the kitchen pouring us both a glass of wine

I walk to the door opening it wide and thats when i see my dear enemy

"What can i do for you?" I say smirking

"For starters buy better clothes, this shirt is hideous" she gestures at my Deadpool shirt, excuse me? How dare she?

"If i wanted to deal with your attitude i would have..oh wait yes you stalk me so you are always on my way"

"Agh can you just stop talking"

I roll my eyes so hard my brain hurts. What the school doesn't know is that we have our secret fights in the bedroom. Of course i was shocked as well but here i am kinda liking Poppy, gosh i probably hit rock bottom

"Goodnight boo" i smile slamming the door shut continuing my night drinking wine and gossiping with Zoe.

___

"I will see you after class, those new burritos are to die for" Zoe says as she kisses my cheek goodbye, i love this woman

I walk freely around the empty campus. One thing that i love about Mondays is that on third period i can just have five minutes to myself and collect my thoughts, that until i find my self pinned against a wall

"Never do that again" Poppy says pointing her finger to my chest

I gasp at the surprise and she looks amused, her and her little games "Do what exactly? Exist?"

She rolls her eyes but i can see how hard she is trying to hide her smile "No one slams the door at me Newbee" and she poke her finger once

"Oh please you are always being an asshole"

"Listen here, just because i let you kiss me once doesn't mean anything, you are still garbage to me and you will always be" and another poke

She tries to do it again but i grab her finger looking at her deep into her eyes

"No you listen Poppy, i am tired of your manipulative games, you are the most awful person i have ever met!" I am glad the campus is empty, if people were here they would probably record or take pictures for The T

"Oh please Hughes you play tough but you really aren't, maybe you were important back in pig town, but here? You are just another pawn" her glare is dangerous, her eyes on fire, our tension so thick you can feel it through your bones

So i did what every logical person would do, i lean in and i capture her lips before she can say anything else that will ruin the mood. At first she tries to deny and make a surprised sound but soon her tongue is dancing against mine.

I pin her against the wall taking a quick glance around to make sure we are alone. I should be in Miss Kingsley class right now but oh god am i distracted

She places her hands around my neck pulling me closer to her, didn't i tell you? She really likes me deep inside this cold heart of hers

"Am i tough now?" i ask, our lips so close, our breaths ghosting on eachother's faces. She swallows hard "Not enough"

And as these words escape her mouth i pin her hands above her head with my one hand effortlessly as my other travel from her waist down her thighs. Poppy always wears a mini skirt enough to ignite my fire

I dig my nails slightly into her flesh and ask once again "I said, am i tough now?"

Poppy moans against my mouth and i start kissing her neck, something that drives her crazy. She wont admit it, she never does but she knows well how much i turn her on and it annoys her

"Let me hear it" i say sucking at the sensitive spot underneath her ear

"Yes you are!" she says holding onto me tight like her life depends on it

My hand now goes beneath her skirt and my oh my do i make her excited. My fingers brush slightly against her underwear and thats when the bell rings, ugh cockblocker

We both immediately separate adjusting our clothes watching the campus slowly getting crowded. Poppy's cheeks are red and i can already imagine what she is thinking of. I smile to myself watching her walk away

And that's when my phone buzz, of course a notification from The T

Hello loves,

Another day another drama. My rising star is now top 10 material, i am proud of you girl but i wouldn't count on it because we all know Miss perfect always gets what she wants. I love drama and Hughes is providing me with the best one yet. Good luck, you will need it

Kisses, The T

I still cant believe what i am reading. Top 10?!! I am here almost two months and i have outsmarted most of Poppy's moves. I smile as Zoe approach me screaming

"I knew you had it in you!!" she hugs me tight spinning me around

"Suck it Poppy" i yell as students around us are cheering. It feels good knowing that people are on my side finally seeing who they are bowing to years now

Someone tugs my hand and as i turn around i see Chloe crossing her arms

"So you managed to reach top 10 i see"

"Oh do you want an autograph? Thats so sweet" i say smirking

"Poppy is waiting for you behind the field"

"And who says that i am going?" I practically laugh but her face remains the same

"Listen i dont have all day Channel is having--"

"Alright dog, good girl! You earned a treat" and like that i give her head a pat walking towards hell basically.

I am sure Pops is mad at me, maybe she likes me but she is serious when it comes to her reputation. I approach her enjoying how nervous she looks

"If you wanted a date we could have arranged it" i say sitting next to her

Her expression is cold and distant and i sigh defeated "okay what is it? Is it the fact that i am top-"

"That list isn't that important Hughes, i can drag you down to the bottom within seconds" Wow okay i get it thats not the reason you are grumpy

"Why did you asked your dog to fetch me?"

Poppy rolls her eyes clearly annoyed by every word i say. Again i sigh not knowing what to do exactly. Sometimes i like to take her in. The way her foot is jiggling, the way she flips her hair when she is awkward. Everything about her is so perfect when all the eyes are laid on her but when we are alone i see another version of her

"I hate how entitled you feel" she finally says standing up "since you got here the only thing that you want is to ruin me!"

I feel my blood boiling as i stand up to get on her level "Excuse me? You attacked me the first moment i laid my foot in here!"

"That's because you love to shove your nose where it doesn't belong!" she now takes a step closer, anger written all over her features

"Oh give me a break, you were always cruel, people just now start to realise it" i take a step closer as well trying to intimidate her

"I run this school Newbee, you like it or not so go back to your little town where you were important because here? You are nothing" she spats out coldly and all i can do is stare at her. Her mask now falls completely

I can see the worry in her eyes,regret. Her posture isn't radiating power, instead i can see how uncomfortable she is. Aw are emotions a new thing for her? How charming.

Without missing a beat i kiss her letting all this anger turn into passion. "I hate you" i say kissing her neck desperately trying to find an inch of bare skin to touch

"I hate you more" she tries to say but her voice trails off when my hand goes underneath her skirt. I smile between our kiss when i feel how wet she is

"Did our fight made you excited?" I ask teasingly

"More kissing less talking" she says capturing my lips into a passionate kiss. I push her against a wall as my hand connects with her center

"Oh Bea.." she whispers against my lips and thats when i increase the pace just to hear her moan. Only i can watch her like this, so vulnerable so real

With each stroke i can hear her shouting my name digging her nails onto my back. Finally her body shakes as she has a violent release and i hold her tight against me

I bring my fingers to my lips and i lick them clean locking eyes with her. For a moment all we can do is stare at eachother and i think we are both questioning what did we just do? I smile trying to reach for her hand but she pulls away

Great she turned on her bitchy mode. "I will see you tomorrow?"

"I will ruin your entire life Hughes!!" She yells while walking away. Well that wasn't what she was saying seconds ago, oh wait yes she was busy screaming my name

"And yes you will, now go fuck yourself!" She yells again and i flip her off smiling

Thats how the rest of the semester went down. Infront of the eyes of the school we hated eachother's guts but behind closed doors we did the craziest things in the bedroom. Overall i do hate Poppy Min-Sinclair but i have to admit, this woman knows her stuff, enough to wonder how many layers does she really has?

Tag list: @lolimugly @origmansello @greatestflirt-hero @mvalentine @otakufangirl-12 @sugarplumpnhoneybun @coldbatfriendroad @coldbatfriendroad @indecisive-choices @i-loveeveryone @kiara-36 @ognenniyvolk @somewillwin @it-lives-in-braidwood-manor

@ghalind @jayrnada @sergeant-pepper-loves-choices @dibberdipper @justastranger-passing

[captainjanegay]

Kasia’s Festival of Fondness - Holiday Edition ♥

It's super late on Christmas Eve (which is the most important day of holiday celebrations in Poland, just a fun fact dnsjjs) or early af on Christmas Day, depends how you look at it dhsjsj and I'm kinda in a food coma and having a beer with my brother. I've been thinking about doing this for a while and there's no time to share some love and affection than the Christmas times. So bear with my sappy self for a while, would ya?

This year sucked a lot. It's been the weirdest time all of us had to go through, it was filled with anxiety and worry and isolation. So now, more than ever, I'm so thankful to have so many incredible people in my life. People I've never actually met in my life but who make me so incredibly happy and brighten up every single one of my days. People who live miles and miles away but are somehow one of the closest ones to me. People whom I love deeply and meeting them was the best thing that happened to me. People who are going to get an incredibly sappy shoutout from me right now and will have to read through all my late-night, slightly-drunk but oh-so-sincere rambling. In no particular order, here we go:

@steverrogers

My sweetest Becky. I will forever cherish the day we first talked because it was a start of something beautiful. I love talking to you, you're such an amazing and interesting person, so smart and beautiful inside and out, so funny and supportive. Not one day passes without you making me smile by whatever lovely thing you say to me, by popping up on my dash or by popping up in my thoughts all of sudden (which happens a lot). You're so caring and sweet and 12 out of 10 times I don't know how to handle your sweetness. I love being able to help you with learning polish (and the fact that you're doing this is just so??? I'm in awe, this language is hell dhsjsj). I could talk to you for for hours or just sit in silence with you for hours and I'll look forward to the day you come to kidnap me :') I love you endlessly 💜✨💚

@hbalbat

I've said that already and I'm gonna say this again and again - you're such a ray of sunshine in the life of every person that has you in their life, Helena. You're so sweet and loving and you care so deeply about all your friends here. It's so amazing to see and being on the receiving end of your love and affection?? It's unreal 💚 I love hearing about your day or about your likes, dislikes or struggles. Even when the world feels overwhelming, you are always able to get up and face it and you're so much stronger than you let yourself believe. You're such a talented, artistic soul and I love you endlessly. You brought a smile to my face so many times and you were able to do this even when I was feeling so low and I'll forever be thankful for your bright and wonderful presence in my life. I love you so much, my sweet pumpkin.

@its-tortle

Luisa, my heart 💚 You are amazing and I'm in awe of you. You're such a beautiful force of energy, love and kindness and I'm always so incredibly happy when this force is directed towards me. You're such an incredible writer and every time you compliment my work I'm like "??? You say this is good but have you actually read your own writing?? How is this possible??". Your comments on my works make me cry real tears. And the card you've sent me? It's so sweet and I'll keep it forever, having something that you've actually held and wrote just for me is so great 💚 You have such a huge and loving heart and being your friend is an incredible privilege that I'll be grateful forever. Thank you for being so supportive and caring, you deserve all the good things in life and I love you to the moon and back 🥺💚

@buckybees

My loveliest Bee, you're so incredibly talented and both your fanarts and fanfics always makes me smile so much? You have the greatest ideas and I'm in awe of how creative and amazing your mind is. You are also so sweet and talking to you is always an absolute pleasure. And the fact that you're part polish makes me so happy? As you've once said, it's like we have this special connection and it's so amazing 💚 You're so nice and supportive and my heart always goes !!!! when you pop up in my notifs :') Having you as a friend makes me so happy and I can't wait for your card (even if it comes in July I'm gonna cry the happiest tears, just thinking that you've sent me one makes me so happy :')) 💚 you make me so happy and I love you loads 💚

@anna-wa

My lovely Anna 💚 I'm so so happy you're still puttin up with me even despite my fandom change and ironically (or not) I think we're now talking more than ever? And it makes me so happy? You're such an amazing person and I love hearing your thoughts and opinions. And you're also so caring and amazing. I've said this a milion times already but the day you've pointed out I probably have ADHD was life-changing and it really helped my mental well-being so much 🥺 You're amazing, talented and the best friend one could dream off. I love you so much and I hope only good things happen to you because you deserve all the happiness and softness the universe has to offer 💚 I love you a whole lot 💚✨

@farfromthstars

My sweet, amazing Pia 💚 you're one of my oldest friends on here and even though we don't talk as much as we used to you're in my thoughts a lot. You've always been nothing but amazing to me and I'll forever be in awe of all the kindness and affection I've gotten from you. I've became obsessed with so many things because (or thanks to, it depends dnsjjs) of you and I love how many of our interests align. I'm so proud of you and you're all of my all-time fave authors, you're so talented :') You're like an older sister I always wanted to have dhsjsj 💚 I love you so much and as messy as the 1d fandom can be, I'll forever be grateful that it brought us together :')

@ziallerslouve

Annika, my sweetheart! 💚 We don't talk as much as we used to but you're still one of my favourite people on here. I love that we can go for months without talking or interacting in any way but then we just go back to where we were and just catch up without any awkwardness (and for my weird af communication skills - or lack of thereof - it's the most comforting thing? 🥺). We have so much in common and I love that you always get me so well 💚 You're so great and it's so amazing to have you as a friend 💚

@mysterious-marvel

Milly, my sweetest! Every time I see you on my dash it puts the biggest smile on my face! You're so talented and sweet and I love and cherish every single interaction we have 💚 You're so supportive and incredible and beautiful inside and out, I'm so happy I've joined the marvel fandom and was able to meet you 💚

@metalbvcky

Mandy, you precious soul! 💚 We didn't talk as much but I love you so much? You're so sweet and kind and you always brighten up my dash. And the fact that you decided to organise a secret Santa event to brighten up this hell of a year is just so amazing! You have a huge and beautiful heart and I adore you so much. Also I'm soooo excited to read "Mercury in Retrograde"?? It sounds so incredible and since you're an amazing writer I know I'll love it :')

@sexiestvampirevictim

Lidia, you're an ethereal creature and I still don't know what have I done for you to bless my life with your presence. I love you so much and your continuing support means everything to me 💚 You're wonderful and amazing and nobody gets my uni struggles as well as you do fjsjsj you always make sure that I won't bury myself in a hole of uni-related self-hatred and I really wish things could be better for you but knowing that I'm not alone is really reassuring :') 💚 you're an unstoppable force and you can conquer the world (and you should tbh, it would be such an incredible place if you did) and I love you as much an many there are stars in the sky

@christmascap

Lauren, my love! I'm still in awe that you're following me, you're like the cool, popular mutual I've had and always admired from afar but then you started talking to me and I'm not sure what to do now? You're so talented and your edits and ficlets are so heartbreakingly good. I can't understand why they don't get more attention because there just so beautiful and everyone should see them. And you're such a warm and kind person, you're always so sweet to your followers and I bet you're so much fun to be around irl :') I know that no matter what obstacles the world throws your way, you're able to overcome them all. I love you loads and while I'm still kinda nervous while talking you (I don't even know why!! You're such a sweetheart! 💚) I wanted you to know that I adore you so much 💚💚

@hufflepufsh

Huffy, my little angel! You're also one of my favourite friends on here and even if were basically in completely different fandoms rn, I'm so thankful that you're in my life! We can go without talking for ages and they we just pop up into each others Inbox and declare our undying love and I think it's beautiful?? You're so amazing and we've known each other for so long and you're like a constant in my life and every time I see you on my dash it makes me so happy, even if I have no idea what you're blogging about dhsjsj I lava you and I'll give you everything 💚💚

@lepetitcomte

.

My most wonderful Mum 💚 I love you and I'd die for you. I suck at maintaining conversations but I think about you a lot. And I mean like a lot. I always send good vibes your way and when you feel a random warmness in your heart it's my vibes finally making it across the ocean. You're so incredibly smart and you've always been so supportive and kind and wonderful to me. Even when we don't talk I'm eternally grateful you're a part of my life. You've gotta piece of my heart and being your daughter is an honour I have no idea how I deserved 💚

.

Also a huge shout-out to @hawkeyeandthewintersoldier @ywecanthavenicethingsanymore @hannah-stagram @ceilingventclintbarton @lifeishell @reedstorm @justice-for-plums @samrhodey for being literal angels and brightening my dash with their presence and brightening my life with every single interaction we've ever had :') 💚💚

I'm probably forgetting so many people and I'm so sorry for that. It's been so long since I've started writing it in my notes and my brain power is getting low fjsjsj I love and cherish every single mutual and every single follower I have no matter if we ever interacted or not. You all make me so happy and you make my days so much more bearable. The unbelievable amount of love and support I've gotten from you warms my heart and it's going to make me burst one day :') thank you for putting up with me through this post and through every single day, I'm in awe you still follow this mess of a blog and continue to give me your affection and love. I love you endlessly 💚💚💚