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Meus ex Machina, Chapter 19: Silvertongue and Hesper
Edited public domain image of two hands reaching for each other, lit in deep blue and neon green.
Prev - Silvertongue and Hesper - Next - Masterpost - [ AO3 ]
WC: 2689 - Rated: T - CW: non-graphic torture, blood
Where Janus went in the pre-dawn hours. But first, what happened to Lucas after he left HQ on Remus and Roman's 21st birthday. If you haven’t yet read Progression, stop here and read it now for maximum impact. The flashback at the start of this chapter takes place two days after the end of that story.
For at least the hundredth time and for the second time in the past 72 hours, Lucas punched in the coordinates to The Inn. This time, though, he made the trip out to their old watering hole alone.
The ghost of Re’s giddy nervousness bounced around the ship.
Really? You’re gonna let me have a drink tonight?
Sure, Re. You only turn twenty-one once…
Banking around the scaffold of the Newland Towers, Lucas jumped at the static he picked up from the construction site. For the past three days, Lucas had stayed up, listening, waiting. He’d kept the aircar radio open the whole way out, childishly hoping Jan or Pat or anyone else would reach out. Tell him it was all a mistake. Ask him to come home.
No-one did.
He set down behind the bar and circled his and Jan’s old haunt. A flashing ‘closed’ sign shone in the darkness, and the landing pads out front were vacant, but Andrew’s movement behind the bar cast long shadows in the back windows. The gate was down in front so Lucas returned to the alleyway.
Shiny, new, and with five layers of encryption, the deadbolt on the backdoor was impressive. The rusted screws holding it in place, however, were not and one swift kick opened the door.
“What the hell—” Andrew’s tough guy shout from the bar dropped to a whisper when Lucas came into view. His eyes darted side to side, searching for someone in the empty bar to rescue him.
“Lucas! Hey… hey, um, no hard feelings, right? You know I didn’t call the feds on Re… they just… they just showed up and took care of the body, I…” He stepped back, fumbling along the railing under the taps for his emergency call switch. “But y—you got outta here way before they got here, right?”
“The call button’s two meters to your left,��� Lucas responded, flipping a bottle sealer at the powerbank just above the switch. It exploded, sparks raining down on Andrew’s hand. “You wouldn’t want the corpos to just show up coincidentally again, now would you?”
“No, Lucas, no…” He shook his head. “Of course not. C’mon, man… You know it’s not like that. You and Jay have been coming here for years… You all are like family to me.”
Lucas’ voice was quiet. “You took my family from me.” He unbuttoned his coat and peeled it off, revealing a harness with an antique taser and five extra charge canisters. “You took my brother.” Gaze focused on his coat, Lucas walked to the rack next to the front doors and hung it on the closest hook before drawing down the window shade and checking the locks on the door.
“You took my boys.” Andrew’s eyes widened and he slowly straightened, shaking hands raised near his head. Lucas snapped a fresh charge into place and watched the standby light stutter to life. “You took my love.”
Finally he looked up, eyes ablaze. “I’ve lost everything.” Andrew began to tremble, sympathetic nervous system rooting him in place, full freeze mode. As though that could do anything to help him now. Lucas absorbed the fear pouring out with his rank sweat and smiled. “Just as you’re about to.”
Lucas unlocked the taser and flicked it on. A sharp buzzy whine filled the room, followed by the trickling sound of urine dripping from Andrew’s pant leg. Lucas tsked. “So soon? Very well.”
“No, no, no… Lucas… You don—you—you don’t wanna do this… This—this isn’t you.” Lucas aimed the taser and the man’s words jumbled, hands out as though he could stop the assault. “Wha—what would Jan think if he—”
Lucas’ eyes brightened, orange fire pushing away his doubt. “Jan already thinks I’ve been purchased. He already thinks I betrayed him. To you.” He grinned, his smile broad and easy. And empty as the bar. “Let’s show him who I really answer to, shall we?”
“No… no, please, Lucas, no—” With a bang, refurbished guidewires shot out and embedded in the man’s neck. 50,000 volts cut short his pleas, the bright white glow rivaled only by Lucas’ orange eyes.
~
The slow death of Andrew’s brain ripped away the last shreds of Lucas’ control. Eyes squeezed shut, he doubled over, arms crossed over his head as the bartender’s dying cries shot through his heart. Seared flesh set fire to his nerves. Andrew’s fear his pain would never end. The fear of what would happen when it did.
And Andrew’s last thoughts, the tiny spark of relief that it was finally over.
Lucas slumped to the floor, barely noticing the knot on the side of his own head. He lay there for as long as he dared before pulling himself to his feet and staggering to the toilets.
The lukewarm recycled tap did a poor job on his hands and no matter how hard he scrubbed with the bar’s watered down soap, bits of Andrew’s blood clung to his knuckles and under his nails. In the engraving on his ring.
He took it off, twisting to get it past the callouses, and held it up to the light. Dingy rust filled in the swooping cursive ‘Ja’ on the engraving. Shoulders slumped, he fought the tightening in his throat, the burning behind his eyes.
But he was spent. His eyes flickered weakly under the dingy bathroom lights. A sob ripped up from his throat and hot tears spilled over, dripping down his cheeks and his neck as he rubbed at his stained wedding ring under the faucet.
His wrist buzzed and hope sparked in his chest.
Hope quickly doused by the message on his comm. Instead of a message from Jan, from Pat, from the boys, a bold proximity warning scrolled across the tiny screen.
CORPORATE POLICE ACTIVITY 100 YARDS AND CLOSING…
CORPORATE POLICE ACTIVITY 50 YARDS AND CLOSING…
CORPORATE POLICE ACTIVITY 10 YA—
A small blast was followed by the crash of the front door coming off its hinges. His ring hit the basin, rattling as it rolled around and down the open drain.
“Come out with your hands up! Come out—shit! Look what they did to him! Dear god…” The buzz of a dozen tazers more advanced than his own couldn’t cover the tremor in the pig’s voice. “Arms up! That’s an order!”
Lucas’ comm hummed quietly, a constant vibration against his wrist now.
Auto-distress alert enabled. Contacting HQ in 30… 29… 28… 27…
“We have you surrounded!” Jackboots tromped down the old hardwood floors and came to a stop outside the locked bathroom door. Dust sprinkled from the hinges as they banged on it. “Come out or we’re coming in!”
Lucas turned off the water and watched the numbers tick before tapping Disable just as the distress call countdown hit 1.
His comm screen went dark and he wiped his hands on his pants. “Be out in just a mo’!” he sing-songed. Only Jan would’ve caught the hitch in his voice. Well, Pat, too, most likely. But they weren’t here to care.
He checked the mirror, drying his face and smoothing back his hair. He smiled at the dim but growing amber rings around his eyes, then turned and opened the door.
~
Rain and hail drummed against the hull, a syncopated beat that dragged Lucas from a deep sleep. He’d been dreaming of home again, of the boys chasing each other through the halls. Pat’s more Teddy Bear-than-Papa Bear warnings to slow down. Re promising Pat they’d try before erupting in laughter with Ro, a soft, calm laugh, nothing like his laughter the last time he’d seen him.
Jan’s smooth hot toddy voice, spice and heat and comfort. His hand, ungloved, unshielded, carding through his hair.
Lucas leaned back and shook his head to clear away the clingy wisps of dream from his mind.
But Jan’s voice only grew louder.
-”We need to talk, Hesper. Where can I find you?”-
Amber light bled through his eyelashes and he smiled. -”Mmm… So formal, ma cheri,”- he purred back. -”And yet so rude! Not even a ‘good morning, how did you sleep? How would you like your tea?”-
Jan’s shield was strong, nothing but a faint buzz was his answer.
He was close. Lucas checked the local time. Technically morning, though the sun wouldn’t be up for hours. It had been winter when they’d met, too. He shook off the thought and lit up the room with his eyes.
-”Is it actually morning where you are?”- Jan asked as though he didn’t know. As though he wasn’t close enough for Lucas to smell his cologne.
Or maybe he just imagined it.
-”I have risen with the light…” Lucas pushed a memory of Jan’s smiling face back at him, hair mussed and splayed out on his pillow. He wasn’t sure how much got through Jan’s shield. Or who he was trying to hurt more. -”Does that count as morning in your calculation?”-
-”I wish to speak with you, Hesper,”- he sent, dull and flat and cold.
Lucas checked the sensors. The others weren’t with him. Jan had actually come alone. He chewed at his lip. Whatever this was, the platform was already dotted with intent detonators. If this was some surprise attack, Lucas would soon know. He sighed, his curiosity getting the better of him, and he lowered the gangway.
“Welcome aboard, ma cheri,” he called down the open ramp. An elegant shadow in grey and yellow stepped into view and Lucas bowed, one arm sweeping out. “Wipe your feet before you come up, s’il vous plaît. It’s simply filthy out there.”
Hurrying back to his bunk, he pushed up the platform to hide his bedding and flipped down both benches on either side of the little table where he ate and planned and built most of his tools. He started to sit, then rose again and dispensed two cups of hot water for tea, dropping in sachets from his dwindling stash and set them down across from each other.
By the time Jan turned the corner into the main area of the ship, Lucas was sat back, right arm hooked over the back rest, left leg crossed over the other, ankle to knee. He lowered orange-tinted lenses over his eyes and smiled.
“Welcome aboard,” he repeated, biting his cheek when he realized he’d already run through his script.
“You already said that,” Jan replied, voice smooth. Well, mostly smooth, with only a tiny catch at the end which could just be a bit of his old morning hoarseness. Jan’s mind was completely shielded—fuck he’d gotten good at that—but there was a twitch in his left pinkie and he hesitated before sitting. “I appreciate the hospitality,” he nodded before switching their cups and taking a slow sip from the one that had been in front of Lucas.
“Ah, ma cheri, you wound me…” He shook his head and took the other tea cup, blowing away the steam. “You still don’t trust me.” Lucas clucked his tongue, grateful he’d thought to don his glasses as his eyes burned in the attempt to keep his voice light. “Well?” He looked up over the lip of his cup between sips. “While your company is a pleasure as always…” They could both pretend Jan’s cheeks warmed from the heat of his tea. “You said you had something to discuss with me.”
Jan set down his cup and watched the steam rise. “To be completely honest with you, Luc, I’m not entirely sure why I’m here.”
All Lucas’ powers couldn’t stifle how much he wanted Jan to say his name again, how much he needed Jan to say his name again. He hid his face behind his cup and took another sip to buy time to settle his heart. “Interesting,” he murmured, cracked voice betraying him. Jan’s eyes shot up.
Lucas sat, silent and pinned down by his gaze, until Jan finally continued. “I suppose given everything that’s happened, I…” Jan addressed his cup, lifting it up for another slow sip. “I was so sure we’d done everything we could do to help Re. That we’d given him every safeguard, every protection possible. But…” He shook his head. “If I was wrong about that,” he whispered, more to himself than to Lucas. “What else have I been wrong about?”
“What’s happened?” Lucas leaned forward, reaching for Jan before he could even think to stop himself. “What’s wrong with Re?”
Jan leaned back, eyebrow raised, and sipped his tea. -”You don’t hear him?”- he asked silently.
Brow furrowed, Lucas closed his eyes and reached out. There was the buzz of Jan’s shield, a dark, staticy hole where his feelings should be. A couple asleep in their ship two platforms down. The rumble of families in the surrounding shelters. A little boy crying from a nightmare. And then…
Lucas gasped. Like finally noticing a song playing in the background, he suddenly registered the touch of Re’s mind in the distance. His cup clattered to the table and he leapt to his feet. Re! “You left him alone? Unshielded and alone and—”
“And happy,” Jan murmured to his cup, seated serenely across from him. “And not alone.”
Lucas slowly took his seat, stretching, feeling for any sense he could detect of Re’s thoughts over the distance. He’d moored this ship on the knife’s edge of his own abilities, near enough to hear everyone in HQ. Far enough he wouldn’t be too tempted to listen.
Re was completely unshielded but… he was calm. His thoughts rippled around him, gentle and rhythmic drops on a pond. Sleeping? Given the hour and the wordlessness of his thoughts, probably. A light sleep, no dreams yet, nothing that would trigger a strong emotional response at least. He was calm and content and… happy.
And Jan was right. Re was not alone.
“Is Ro—” He shook his head, answering his own question. No, if Ro had been with him, the boys most certainly would be up and making good trouble around—or outside—the house. No, he was with…
“He’s with Machina,” Jan answered.
“You left him alone with your twitchy bot?” Again, Lucas was on his feet, stomping toward the controls. “You trust him not to hurt him? I know you remember what hap—”
Jan followed and caught his arm, pulling him away from the pilot’s seat. His hand was warm through his gloves, gentle as it lingered on his forearm. “The Muse would never hurt Machina. Never intentionally.”
“I’m not talking about your fucking robot getting hurt! How do you know it won’t hurt Re?”
He never got to answer.
Lucas’ wrist buzzed half a second before a charge rocked the ship. “Get down!” he ordered and pushed Jan to the deck. Another blast hit the other side of the ship.
The glow of his comm screen peeked out from under Jan’s sleeve and he pushed it back. Jan swore. “They’re close. Too many to count.”
Lucas nodded, shifting to tap at his own wrist. Bright white dots surrounded their location. The hull clanked, hurricane clamps tearing at the fuselage. “Damn.”
Jan twisted beneath him, eyes wide and staring at his wrist. “You still wear your—”
He ignored the question and pushed to his feet before offering a hand to Jan. “You turned off your proximity alarm.”
“Had to,” he muttered, brushing imagined dust off his cloak. “It went off every day at the DC. Don’t avoid the question. Why do you still wear—”
Another blast rocked the ship. The corpos were getting bolder. And closer. A second blast was followed by a pained cry. They were now near enough to trigger the intent charges.
Lucas shook his head, eyeing the roof hatch. “We need to get out of here.”
The outer hull blew and jackboots tromped up the gangway, comms crackling. Lucas dropped the inner blast door just before they reached the top, then grabbed Jan and a pack. He sealed off the corridor from the inside just before the corpos entered the main control room.
They were now trapped inside the ship.
-“We need help,”- Jan corrected and pressed the HQ alert on his wrist. -“Now.”-
#sanders sides#Meus ex Machina#ts janus#ts lucas#ts orange side#orange sanders#OC - Andrew (owner/bartender of The Inn from Progression)#Silvertongue#Hesper#ts remus#ts logan#The Muse#Machina#ts patton#Papa Bear#orange side#ts roman#The Prince#ts virgil#Ultraviolet#orangceit#janus x the orange side#divorced of course#because you need that angst#(not really divorced but that's a whole other story)
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Part 2/2
By the time Stanley had realized he wasn't as alone as he believed himself to be entrapped in this ravenous abyss; he had honestly begun to suspect that he was finally starting to properly lose his mind.
In all the ceaseless miles that Stanley had journeyed during his apparent permanent residence within the dark devouring void, not once had he encountered another conscious, walking, talking being similar to himself. Every other formerly living creature that he had crossed paths with had been so... silent. Empty. Dead, in every sense of the word. It was as though the very essence of life itself had been sucked out of their bodies with a straw, their forms slowly falling apart piece by piece under the vicious gluttony of the darkness that surrounded them. They looked like they actually were supposed to be there, unmoving and comatose, unlike him.
So, when Stanley first began to encounter the twins, all of a sudden, he wasn't the only one in the dark.
When meeting the first pair of them, he found himself standing in a lake.
He hadn't even noticed the changes at first. It felt as though he had been walking for weeks on end, his body moving purely on autopilot and his aching legs leading him towards a destination only it knew. A thick fog of forgetfulness and flickering memories had descended upon his brain like a heavy blanket of numbing static as he had traveled. In this absentminded state, he hadn't even realized that the ever-present undulating, buzzing darkness surrounding him had begun to gradually shift and morph to form a horizon line; stretching into tall looming cliffsides that almost seemed to close in on him. Once the nonexistent floor beneath his soles abruptly began to ripple and warp, like the disturbed surface of a shallow puddle; only then did he finally notice his transformed environment.
The transition was seamless, almost dream-like. One moment, he was still surrounded by that filthy, overwhelming abyss; and the next, his boots were suddenly plunged deep into the cold, dark lake water.
The silence didn't leave, however. It still choked and stuffed its way into Stanley's ears to clog up his mind with thick cotton; the eerie quiet not quite matching the calm, almost serene scenery the void seemed to have abruptly transformed itself into. Like a movie with its sound cut off; leaving only the unsettling hum of the projector to fill the empty air.
It was odd. The lake was surely incredibly deep. He could obviously tell from how thin and pathetically small the shores appeared all the way from where he now unceremoniously stood in the middle of the lake. Stan could look down and see the darkness below his feet swallow what meager light that managed to break through the murky waters. The overwhelming black almost seemed to beckon him, gaping and haunting; a bottomless underwater pit of pitch black that never seemed to end.
And yet, he didn't sink. Stanley remained perfectly level, the almost ink like waters stopping just at ankle level, as though he were held up just above the surface by some invisible force. Even the writhing waves seemed small and low, as though the waters were shy to climb up his legs further than that. It was odd, so very odd.
However, it wasn't nowhere near as odd as the sight that greeted him when he finally lifted his eyes from the waters.
Stanley had crossed paths with truly unbelievable sights in this strange somewhere; from bursting, collapsing stars; to the imploding heat death of entire universes, but none of them seemed to hold the candle to what he saw then when he lifted his eyes:
Children.
Two, to be exact. Two, nearly identical looking children stood motionless before him; completely soaked through to the bone as though they had taken a plunge into the frigid water that pooled around their ankles. It was a girl and a boy, both adorned with twin expressions utterly devoid of emotion, their wide eyed stare seeming to burn holes into his thin jacket. Their drenched clothes sagged off of their scrawny frames; thin rivulets of water dirpping off of them and disturbing the glassy surface of the water at their feet. The little girl's hair had messily stuck to her face in thin sodden strands, her cheeks still full and round with youth just like the boy's. They looked young. Too young to be in a place such as this.
Oh, but their eyes; their eyes.
They burned with such anger; such injustice, brighter than any dying star or galaxies he had ever seen. Anger towards the world, to fate, to whatever cruel deity that had deemed them fit to be sent to this wretched place so prematurely. They were too young to be here; to be entrapped like he was amongst this hungry darkness. And yet, here they were, sheer denial against their own untimely deaths being the only thing keeping them awake and conscious amongst the dead and rotting. A show of juvenile defiance to nature itself so vehement even the all-consumign darkness seemed hesitant to devour them whole just yet.
It saddened him. It saddened him to know that they belonged there, that they were supposed to be there. He could see it, he could feel it; they were dead. No amount of determination could deny that universal fact.
When they spoke, Stanley could hear anger:
Stan chuckled in a futile attempt to lighten the suddenly heavy atmosphere that threatened to crush him whole. "A lake monster? You kids and your imagination," he teased, hoping to somehow rid the poor kids of the haunted look that seemed to whirl in their glares. No child should have been burdened with such a knowing look; such eyes that looked like they had seen everything there was to see about the world, the horrid and the good.
Clearly, it had been the wrong thing to say, and Stanley's faux pas was rewarded with a scowl from the little boy. A world's worth of sour contempt etched into every contorted groove that his grimace seemed to dig into his much too young face. Stan suddenly felt guilt squeeze at his weary bones for having caused that.
"That's what they all said," the boy spat out, eyes shining with a sheen of wetness Stan wasn't sure he was prepared to deal with.
Stan left that first interaction with the twins with the feeling of guilt and sorrow still clining to him.
He couldn't have known, at the time. He couldn't have known that this wouldn't be anywhere near the last time that he would meet the pair. He hadn't realised just how many of them there were. After that first pair, his endless journeying within the Abyss was hardly be spent alone anymore. Countless more times, he came face to face with the exact same two young and impossibly worn faces; forced to meet one pair of beaten and bruised kids after another.
Not one pair had died the same death as another. Some had gotten lost, prey to whatever threat that had snatched them up out in the open; some had fallen from high up; some had been crushed under an incredible weight; some had burned; some eaten alive; some zombified. Some didn't even seem physically harmed at all, body perfectly intact, and yet that same faraway, distrubed look in their eyes remained.
He thought the worst ones were the ones he found alone. A little girl or a little boy, left all lonesome without their other half there. Twins, he remembered a pair of them telling him once.
Once, he had come across a town full of silent, stone statues. It was a rustic, shabby, almost nostalgic looking town- odd and strangely familiar. The sight of it had tugged at an aged memory that had long since wasted away in the back of his mind. It was serene, almost deceptively so. The sun shone; the air smelled crisp and fresh; numerous waterfalls continued to crash down from the tall cliffsides; and a soft nonexistent breeze whistled through the thicket of pine trees that blanketed the outskirts of the town. None of it seemed to match the gruesome scene of the hundred wailing statues that littered every inch of the town.
He had found the boy's statue on the other side of town, deep within the green forest and toppled over the gnarled roots of a towering tree. Like the rest of the townsfolk, he too, was frozen mid-shriek; his stone face twisted and contorted into a mock impression of a silent scream as his body lay paused in a writhing struggle. He made sure to be gentle when he carried the boy's statue over to place it beside the girl's, whose statue stood far deeper into the forest, sporting the same rictus grimace of terror as her brother's. It somehow felt wrong for them to have been so far apart from one another, even in death.
He had come to dread meeting of the twins. He hated every second he had to confront yet another pair of dead children that did not belong here, but fate had decided they did. He despised having to listen to their tales of woe as they wept about the injustice of the world, of having died young; he despised himself for being unable to do more than weep with them.
"We don't belong here, Grunkle Stan," he would listen to the little girl weep, calling him a title he didn't recognize. He never remembered if they had ever told him their name, but they all seem to know his, without a fail. "If we're dead, then what about you? What about Grunkle Ford? Mom? Dad? What about them? We can't be dead, we can't be," they would say, confusion and frustration written all over their faces. They didn't understand. They didn't understand why they had come to the darkness so early, so unfairly.
He never knew what to say, he'd never been good with words.
All he could do was kneel down to their levels and engulf them in his arms, hoping he could somehow squeeze the pain straight out of their bodies in his embrace. He hugged them, because what else could he do?
#OKAY SO YOU KNOW THAT ONE SCENE IN THE BOOK OF BILL OR SMTH WHERE THEY SHOW ALL THE ALTERNATE UNIVERSE VERSION OF DIPPER AND MABEL#WHEN THEY WEREN'T AS LUCKY AS THEIR ORIGINAL COUNTERPARTS#THAT'S WHO STAN MEETS HERE#I need you people to know that I had to rewrite this whole thing like 3 times because my dumbass#was writing a whole ass fic in TUMBLR DRAFTS so obviously it kept deleting itself <3#but it was worth it for the Stan angst <3#watch how many trigger warnings I can fit in this post#tw child death#tw death#tw dead animals#tw graphic description#tw graphic violence#tw graphic#tw body horror#tw scopophobia#tw gore#TELL ME IF I GOTTA TAG MORE!!#gravity falls#gravity falls au#HWINEBHABWNAJCAHOWEEATOWEUB AU#stanley pines#stan pines#grunkle stan#dipper pines#mabel pines#pines twins#absolutely not beta read- so if there are any grammar mistakes or plot holes... shhhhhh you saw nothing...#my writing#my fic#my art
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Beefy Bucky & Creampies uhhh 18+ MDNI
It has to specifically be Beefy Bucky um because I said so.
Bucky would eat your well fucked pussy after he came inside you I know it.
Dude loves a good creampie.
His fat cock drilling into you and so sweetly kissing your cervix with each intense thrust, hot precum weeping out of his cockhead and soothing the swollen flesh and coating your inner walls until he fucking just cums and fills you up with his seed.
There's literally so much of it, it oozes out of you as he slowly drags himself back, watching the white cream just...coat your cunt. His mouth waters, seeing your pretty petals so slick and glistening with your own cum and his. He just can't help himself.
Bucky grabbing your legs and holding them open while his tongue continues to lap and twirl between your folds as he listens to that pretty little symphony coming out of your lips.
And his mouth wraps around that pretty pearl of yours and he just nurses on it while you feel the hot, tingling erupt through your body. You feel it in your toes, they curl as you fist the sheets and beg him for more.
Tug his hair and feel his arms, look at those pretty eyes as he glances up at you. Oh my god. Watch him rut himself into the fucking bed because he's ready for round two. Three. Four.
He laps and licks, his fucking face is buried in you. The scruff gently tickling your inner thighs and scratching your folds. He doesn't want to let up, drinking your essence and inhaling your scent, memorizing it. He's so drunk off your pussy, he doesn't want to let you go, ever.
Your taste and his own together was like a drug.
The groans this man makes is enough to make you cum again, or at least send those shivers through your delicate bud, begging to be sucked again.
Bucky doesn't give a shit if he tastes himself on you, he sucks himself out of you just to push it all back in and listen to you mewl at the sensation, or he pulls back and slams his lips against yours, sharing himself on your tongue.
Um yeah. I guess this is kinda cum play too?
Just a thought lol byeee <3
#um just a thought because i needed to write something smutty to take a break from this angsty piece im working on#maybe i will make this a fic idk#back to angst now 😩#bucky barnes#james buchanan barnes#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x you#james buchanan barnes x reader#bucky barnes x reader smut#beefy bucky#bucky x reader#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes smut#james bucky barnes#james barnes x reader#winter soldier#the winter soldier#winter soldier x you#winter soldier x reader#winter soldier smut#thunderbolts#thunderbolts*#emwrites🌿
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Kinda want to write a Spock POV post-fal-tor-pan fic where Spock sees Jim and is instantly whammed with the fact that he's in love with him, but still has no idea why or what that means, so he just goes around with a knot of love tangled in his mind, utterly baffled as to why it's there or how to figure it out. He can't ask the kolinahr adepts, because it feels un-vulcan, so instead he's just. confusedly pining the entire time.
Jim smiles sappily at him and Spock's like "My Heart Is Beating Faster. Why Is My Heart Beating Faster. There Is No Cause For My Heart To Be Beating Faster. Do I Have Tachycardia."
Spock, to McCoy: Doctor, is there history of heart disease in my family?
Bones, suspicious: Yes? Why? (already surreptitiously scanning Spock w/ a tricorder)
Spock: I have noticed concerning irregularities in my heart beat. They occur primarily around Admiral Kirk.
Bones, freezing: Repeat that for me, Spock?
Spock: I have noti-
Bones: No, not that, the next bit! Where they happen!
Spock: Ah. Around Admiral Kirk.
[FIVE MINUTES LATER]
Spock, annoyed: Doctor, cease laughing. I fail to understand what part of my medical condition you find so amusing.
Bones, still wheezing with laughter: Don't - don't you worry your little head about it, Spock. You're not sick, that's the important thing. (interrupts himself by laughing again) You'll (wheeze) figure it out eventually.
(Spock, disgruntled, gives up on him and leaves.)
(McCoy keeps laughing for another ten minutes.)
#*sprays myself with water* stop. bad fool. no starting new projects until you have finished at LEAST two old projects#me taking the inherent angst of “post-resurrection memory loss” and saying “but what if we get silly with it”#he's been alive for two blinks and doesn't know what love is but boy howdy is he feeling it#probably to keep the lighter tone we can assume that kirk doesn't actually realize that spock doesn't remember that they were married#he's just like “my husband is alive again!!! <3<3<3”. he is unaware that spock has zero knowledge OR that spock is pining pathetically#so kirk is being Soft and supportive to spock knowing that he needs time to come back to terms with his emotions while spock is ??<3??#kirk thinks that they're on the same page about mending their relationship. while spock has no idea there WAS one Or that he Wants one#spock: jim has invited me to dinner once again. my heartrate increased due to both the invitation and admiral kirk's proximity.#the meaning of this is unclear. i may be ill. i have no desire to limit my interactions with the admiral however. therefore i shall attend.#kirk: i'm going on a date with my husband!!!!! <3<3<3 who is cute and flustered all the time because his mind is a little fuzzy!! <3<3#tos#star trek movies#tsfs#star trek#star trek the original series#star trek the search for spock#james t kirk#spock#spirk#k/s#bones mccoy
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their relationship in the au after all the angst is going to be great guys
they get their shit together eventually I swear
#fnaf au#fnaf dca#dca au#fnaf moon#fnaf sun#shitpost#fnaf daycare attendant#fnaf#five nights at freddys#dca fandom#You guys have NO idea what im yapping about but it’ll be cool when I finish the reveal I swear#Old married couple ass dynamic#But with angst they need to overcome#Because that’s literally what it is#…#sun x moon#But with angst and the idea of recovering together#distortions of the mind au
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Kuro is always the one to die first. Mickbell is the one that has to go through the anguish of knowing he saw the only one he truly considers a family die. Look at his face when he realizes Kuro died/is going to die.
Mickbell doesn't cry here because he's afraid for his own safety or scared of what just happened. He cries because Kuro put himself into great danger and got killed.
I'll always wonder what would happen if Mick gets killed first.
#mickbell i love you sm#he just has some issues#but he cares deeply about his dog friend#because he's his only family#and vice-versa#kuro would go fereal if sth happened to mickbell#i actually need a good angst/whump gic about them#please someone hear my pleas and send me the link of a mick&kuro angst fic so i can rest in peace#dunmeshi#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#mickbell#mickbell tomas#kuro#kuro dungeon meshi#mickbell dungeon meshi#dunmeshi fic ideas#my shit
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A Rough Night
Basically the thought process for this was:
“I really really want to do a comic full manga style” + “I really really want to draw TriStamp again” + “I really really want to draw some Wolfwood’s angst”
And that's it. That's the comic.
#trigun#trigun stampede#vashwood#vash the stampede#nicholas d. wolfwood#Meryl stryfe#milly thompson#cw child abuse#so sorry for the angst lately my life took a turn for the worse and I really needed the catharsis#also this can be seen as#polygun#special mention to that volume 8 dialogue for making a little cameo because I felt it fitting a little bit sooooo#trigun spoilers#chronart#Also sorry if you saw this before I was testing things because my tumblr went a lil crazy but staff helped
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🧼: «So how'd ye become 'The Ghost'?» 💀: «I saw a ghost, once»
New tiktok available (yes, it's about Ghost 09 backstory, Roba and Found Family)
Please support me with a REBLOG to be in Call Of Duty circle here on tumblr, thank you!
ko-fi
#john soap mactavish#simon ghost riley#modern warfare 2#call of duty#Soon it will be over and buried with our past#All that's left is a ghost of you#this lyrics of “little talks” by Of Monster and Men inspires me#simon riley#ghoap#ghost x soap#soap mactavish#yes i know 09 ghost backstory it's not the same of 22 ghost#but we don't know 22 ghost backstory so...#i drew Roba as well#because I NEED ANGST with my comfort characters!#but also Task Force 141 as FOUND FAMILY trope#cod#cod edit#giotanner#call of duty edit#simon ghost riley art#john mactavish fanart#ghoap art#call of duty modern warfare#mw2#mw3#artists on tumblr#drawing
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Thank you toffee for chosing death upon them
Killer belongs to rahafwabas
color belongs to superyoumna
nightmare belongs to jokublog
#xullianart#color sans#killer sans#again.. leaving it up to interpretation#BUT. it might or might not be implied because i love them#should i explain this or leave it up to the imagination.... idk#ill reblog it with an explanation if needed#ALSO !! YESS GRUMPYNERD that WAS nightmares tendril in the other post [:#gold medal to you#Spotify#nightmare sans#killer sans angst#(it was not all a dream. theyre going through the worst)#(i may or may not love it..)
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acrylic markers practice!!
#reverse 1999#r1999#re1999#isolde#isolde reverse 1999#artists on tumblr#i haven’t shown my traditional art here IN YEARS#i need to invest in good paper because i still practice in my shitty notebooks that meant for writing#*are meant#beautiful princess im wqiting for you#im pumped for isokania angst
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not to be dramatic but hori literally out did my own self indulgent wish-fulfillment fanfic with the whole “rest of our lives speech” like I knew that sounded so romantic, and it is, because I literally wrote that line for bakudeku and I intended for it to be romantic
like hori really is just showing us bakudeku fanfic writers how it’s done
#bakudeku#bkdk#mha#my hero academia#bnha#the fic is pinned on my profile if you’re curious hehe#BUT HORI OUT DID ME I HAD BKDK BEING BESTIES FOR A YEAR BEFORE KACCHAN AND IZUKU PROMISED THE REST OF THEIR LIVES TO EACH OTHER#like hori was like guys that’s so cute but how about instead kacchan proposes immediately#AND ITS ANGSTY BC YOU KNOW IZUKU WANTS TO SAY YES#YOU SEE HIM TRYING TO SAY YES#YOU SEE HIM BEING LIKE I WANT TO I WANT THIS I WANT YOU#BUT KACCHAN PROMISES HIM EVERYTHING HES EVER WANTED THE MOMENT ITS TOO LATE#GOD#HORI THIS IS MASTERFUL ANGST FIC MATERIAL#LIKE HORI ARE YOU INTENDING TO WRITE PREMIUM DRAMATIC YAOI#BECAUSE THIS IS LIKE YAOI COCAINE ITS LIKE TOP SHELF YAOI SHIT RIGHT HERE#AND ITS FUCKING CANON????#JESUS CHRIST HORI I’M BEGGING FOR A FOREHEAD TOUCH#THEYRE YEARNING LOOK AT THEM YEARNING THEY NEED IT
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Sorry, most likely my memory being poor, but I thought Malleus' mom (don't know how to spell her name and too lazy to check how to spell it) was already an adult when Lilia ""proposed""?? Like I was always under the assumption that it was like a one-sided child crush on somebody completely out of your league you tend to have as a kid 💀
I don't think they say how old she was? although it's entirely possible I just misunderstood; my Japanese is...shaky. :') the actual line is "幼い頃に私に求婚したのは偽りか?", which I read as "isn't it true that you proposed to me as a kid?", and took as her being older than him, but not necessarily an adult (like, I was thinking of Lilia as being not quite a preteen and Mel being preteen/young teen). although I don't know if there's a connotation or something I'm missing that implies a bigger age gap, if that makes sense!
(and of course, I might also just be forgetting some other line -- if someone else knows, then please correct me! I need to know which headcanons need adjusting 👀)
BUT YEAH in a canon-y sense, Malleus is 178 and around the third-years developmentally. which makes me think that even though dragons have a way longer lifespan, they go through childhood at about the same rate as most fae (or at least the kind that Lilia is) and just kinda...slow waaaaay down once they hit adulthood. so it makes sense in my brain that he and Meleanor could've basically grown up together!
...it makes it angstier that way, anyway. :)
#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 5 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 5 spoilers#this week on ego thinks way too much about diasomnia#(what do you mean you're not supposed to overanalyze the chronology)#but yeah mel was completely out of his league regardless#she was out of literally everyone's league#though seriously i think i just...narratively want them to be more equals?#because a big chunk of lilia's Issues were (and let's be real. are.) based on internalizing that he doesn't deserve love#and that he doesn't deserve to be around the people he loves#while mel is over here going 'you stupid idiot. you absolute fool. i'm going to go die for you out of spite'#(i do think lilia never realized she died to save him too and not just malleus) (but we digress)#i think it's a bit more satisfying if there isn't a big gap between them like that#(same for raverne) (assuming we ever get to learn ANYTHING about him) (please twst just a few more breadcrumbs i'm begging you...)#but ah well. the angst is delicious either way >:)#please definitely let me know if i misunderstood though! i need the character trauma to be Correctly Devastating. >:)
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“The hands that cradled your face and tilted it upward to kiss your forehead are soaked in unfathomable quantities of blood.”
“But they cradled me, yes?”
I got really into the theory of the apple (from that one image from the beast yeast chapter 7/8 leaks) being the fruit of knowledge. And I thought, what if Pure Vanilla takes a bite out of it? (*^▽^)/★*☆♪
So here’s an artwork where Pure Vanilla is slowly going insane after taking a bite, and all Shadow Milk can do is hold him as he succumbs to the same insanity that claimed him so long ago. Fun stuff, am I right? ((o(^∇^)o))
#pure vanilla crk#shadow milk crk#shadowvanilla#cookie run kingdom#pure vanilla cookie#pureshadow#shadow milk cookie#vanilla milkshake#laughs evilly as I scurry back to my cave to disappear for another month#my fellow Shadowvanilla shippers I have returned#my discord still doesn’t work and I’m still upset about it#how am I supposed to live laugh love if I can’t share my artworks on the vanilla milkshake server?#sad times indeed#anyways I hope nobody mistakes the yellow eyes on my drawing for bill cipher just because they’re yellow#I needed some toe curling angst after being gone for so long#I live off of doomed yaoi#also look at how my art has somewhat improved me is very happy#I should get my pookie to write a fanfic on this don’t you think?#okay this is probably too many hashtags sorgy
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so ik it’s not cannon accurate but,,,
i need a fic of tim just crashing out.
like he gets so sick of like damian and jason talking about how weak he is and shit like that that he’s like “yall realize lady shiva was my one of my FIRST teachers, and i was the first robin she trained. i had to train under b AFTER he already lost a robin. you DONT think he was 10x harder on me than any of you guys???? there’s a reason my training videos are mainly redacted without bruce’s or my permission. i got ra’s al ghul BEGGING ME to join his league or have my children. i get gifts from him WEEKLY. do you KNOW how many of his little ninja i fight per DAY??? nahh im sick of this shit let’s take it to the mats” and just demolishing both of them at the same time.
i just think it’d be very funny. i just like fics of people who pretend to be weaker than they are(or they just never really have a reason to go full tilt so they just don’t) get sick of holding back and just losing it :D
#batfam#tim drake#red robin#jason todd#red hood#damian wayne#robin#unhinged tim drake#batfamily shitposts#i just need fics of tim losing his shit and crashing out#just because they are funny#and i sometimes feel like people would forget that just because he’s smart does not mean he doesn’t have hands#like bro all robins are certified villains only being held back by b’s rules#they all have insane hands and are all very smart#don’t get distracted by whichever one they choose to put at the forefront of their personality so you forget about the other#but basically yeah i just want it bc it’d make me giggle#also yes ik bruce never physically abused tim during training but i love the angst fics that use that so i added it anyways#i. don’t think it was like intentional on bryce’s part tho just that he was struggling so hard with his grief#he just never noticed how hard he was pushing tim until he pushed wayyyy too far#and yeah he and tim eventually resolved their issues and had a BIG talk about training boundaries#but only after he started getting a bit better and got it through his head that tim was just a kid and not a moving punching bag#i like to think it was only after like titans tower or some other time where he was very close to losing tim tho#bc as much as i want bruce to just be a good dad all the time he had struggles actually verbalizing his feelings#and apologizing for his mistakes
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wrio x you pt. 2 because the people (me too) asked for it
you’re the only exception of people who were in his past that he’d try reconnecting with. he swore to himself that he never would but the memory of you haunted him every day and night.
working in the fortress didn’t even make it easier. he’d reminisce the past during his daily checks, filled with fights, scratches and blood, but you were each other’s rock in this cold and dark prison. sleepless nights where he’d go over to your bunk, you’d both be talking and laughing about the future until other inmates woke up to give both of you a good beating.
a letter wouldn’t hurt. signed and sealed, ‘Duke of the Fortress of Meropide, Wriothesley’ with the wolf insignia on the wax seal. he read the letter multiple times until he got sick of it and threw it in the trash. any and every free time he had, it was spent to write the perfect letter to you.
he even consulted sigewinne, clorinde and neuvillette for more opinions. it was honestly humorous to see the Duke be this… frustrated over something as trivial as a letter. his trash basket was overflowing with crumpled up pieces of paper.
“wriothesley, this letter feels too formal.” was a comment by clorinde about his 10th attempt. “you should add more emotion!” sigewinne responded after reading his 27th attempt. “i am not too familiar with matters relating to human love however i do believe that you have not conveyed that in this letter,” said by neuvillette regarding his 59th attempt.
he lost count of how many letters he had written, how many ink bottles he had opened, how many seals he had stamped. it was eating at him, and now the heavy weight of whether you’d even feel the same way back was beginning to creep in.
the ink pooled on the paper. he had run out of ideas, his hand shaking from the fear of it being imperfect. he couldn’t handle it anymore and let his emotions take over him. every word he wrote that night came straight from his heart instead of his brain, putting aside his own formality and rules for you. it’d be another scrapped attempt anyway…
‘With all my love, Wriothesley’, signed off with no wax seal. he had read somewhere that colored wax was used by sculptors when they made mistakes. this letter was no mistake, his love for you was no mistake.
he used his connections, specifically neuvillette and the maison gardiennage, to find where you had decided to settle down. he originally intended to have it sent to you by courier, but here he was, standing in front of your front door. to have the Duke come all the way up to the surface and hand deliver you his letter, oh how smitten he was over you. a quick fix of his outfit, brushed off any dust and fixed his hair before he knocked on the door.
he could hear your footsteps as you scurried over to the door, your voice behind it.
“i didn’t order anything. why is there a-“
you were cut off by the sight in front of you. his charming smile and blue-grey eyes that captivated you the moment you became friends in the fortress. he straightened up his posture, clearly taken aback by how much you’ve changed but it seemed to go both ways.
“good morning, i believe we have some catching up to do.” he said before holding out the letter for you to take. the sun was still out, there was tea in the kitchen and you had time to spare. next thing you know, you were sitting next to each other on the sofa and chatting about each other’s new lives, times changed yet feelings stayed the same.
#luminotes ˚✧₊⁎☆#wriothesley#wriothesley x you#wriothesley x reader#wriothesley x gn reader#wrio x reader#wrio x you#genshin impact#wriothesley genshin#wrio genshin#so umm…. yeah….#im so sorry if this is shit but i wanted to have a more open ending#I AM ALSO JUST BAD AT WRITING ANYTHING THAT ISNT A ONESHOT SAD ANGST THING#but i did want him to be a bit pathetic because i love that#also i hope people notice the parallel to the file ending in pt. 1#PLEASE I NEED HIM SO BADLY IM GOING TO CRYYYY#i miss him actually sobs#this was so self indulgent for me actually but im afraid i just CANNOT write im sorry
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Bruce regrets sound proofing all his children’s rooms
There are some things parents don’t want to know or hear when it comes to their children and it seemed like a great idea at the time.
That being said, as he looked down at his tired youngest, bottle feeding a baby in a way that seems to be half muscle memory, with a look on his face that can only be encompassed by the sentence “oh shit.”
Bruce was suddenly wondering if he made the right call.
#dp x dc#writing prompt#danny fenton#dc x dp#damian al ghul#damian wayne#so your adoption tendencies are apparently genetic#and that definitely is an 8 month old child#hoo boy#listen Damian was born an assassin he can be discreet when need be#everyone wondering why the brat has suddenly mellowed out#it’s because he became a dad at the ripe age of 15#it’s genetic#add a sim take away the angst#everyone was in the dark#there’s no stopping Damian he has already faked a civilian ID for his son and as far as the world will know#he made a mistake that shook the elites and is a single dad#the only person who knows#is Leslie and she has already given up trying to convince him otherwise#everyone: seriously where did you get this child????!???!#Damian: I see. when a female has a child without copulation it is a miracle and a basis of a new religion#Damian: but WHEN I do it-
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