#because I NEED ANGST with my comfort characters!
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michelle's buddie fic recs: week 51!
almost the last fic rec list of the year, can you believe it? like last week, i haven't cross-referenced this list with previous ones, so apologies for any potential double recs!
this is a mix of fics with all ratings, so some include NSFW content. please take a look at both the ratings and the fic tags before reading! some might also contain spoilers for season 8.
if you come across something you like in this list, remember to show some love to the author by leaving kudos and a comment!
before the night fades | MilenaDaniels/@milenadaniels| 8.6k | T
EddieAna and BuckTaylor double date and it ruins everyone's night. this fic is one of my favourite outsider povs ever! it does such a wonderful job of capturing our 911 characters as well as fleshing out a lovely cast of ocs <3
chicken alfredo | EiraLloyd/@unlifeira | 4.6k | T
when Helena laughs at the idea that her son is now able to cook well, Buck ropes Eddie into proving her otherwise. this captures the buddie dynamic so so well <3 also made me hungry lol
do you want me (or do you want me dead) | carpediaz/@sofa-king-lame | 2.3k | T
The one where Buck finds out Eddie wears reading glasses and loses his fucking mind over them, and Eddie knows exactly what he's doing. eddie in reading glasses is a VISION holy shit buck is so relatable in this. i love the silly fun!!
emails i can't send | heartbeatdiaz/@lonelychicago | 6k | T
buck should've known better than to let his email account open and then give his computer to a toddler to play with. i love love love the formatting of this one, with the emails and everything <3 so so good!! they're just french angelfish <3
i took a little journey to the unknown | 42hrb/@exhuastedpigeon | 4.3k | T
“I-it’s okay, you don’t have to talk,” Buck says and the comforting warmth is back on Eddie’s hand. The only thought that rings clearly through his head is that Buck’s hand is safe. Buck is going to keep him safe. “Just - can you squeeze my hand if you’re awake?” this is just such a lovely fic. i love the character study elements and the hand holding and just <3
in the dark (with the stars) | tawaifeddiediaz/@aashiqeddiediaz | 13k | M
Eddie’s relationship with food, anxiety and cooking, as told through the past and present. eddie's relationship with food in both canon and fanon is absolutely fascinating to me. i loved this take on it so much <3
last first kiss | songbvrd/@songbvrd | 3.4k | GA
Buck tries to say goodbye. Eddie isn't ready. frankly i think the best promo i can give this fic is exactly what i said in my comment here, which is "tim minear better be taking notes" because wow it's just that good <3
lucky boy | serenelystrange/@serenelystrange | 1.9k | T
In which Buck and Eddie are so bad at being in a secret relationship, but instead of show-typical angst, fluff! secret relationship buddie, the gift that keeps on giving <3 exactly the fic i needed on a cold early bus ride this week!!
platonic co-parents don't kiss like we do | thelikesofus/@thelikesofus | 7.1k | M
5 times other people see Buck and Eddie kiss + 1 time they really mean it. i love love love all these different types of kisses <3 the loveliest buddie fic from the perspective of the firefam!!
take what the water gave me | Daisies_and_Briars/@cal-daisies-and-briars | 20.7k | M
New transfer to the 118, Eddie Diaz, has a secret. And upon getting to know his coworker, Buck, who is also hiding something, he begins to suspect their secret is the same. He's wrong. i've been devouring every little snippet of this fic i've seen on tumblr and i was so so excited to see the full thing land in my inbox! and wow did it not disappoint. such great worldbuilding and such a fantastic characterisation of eddie <3
the bunkroom fic | exvichan | 11.5k | T
The Station 118 bunkroom has witnessed a lot over the years. Private conversations, spats, occasions of affection, joy, and anguish. It’s seen pranks, and games, and camaraderie. It’s even been privy to an unfolding love story or two. It holds the memory of each of these moments. the 118 bunkroom my beloved <3 i love these little moments so much, especially the conversations between the firefam!!
the wayward son | brewrosemilk/@gayhoediaz | 56.9k | E
Eddie misses his son, grows a mustache, pines after his best friend, and becomes a regular at a gay sex club. That last part is either an indulgence or an inevitable, somewhat self-destructive conclusion to several decades worth of compulsory heterosexuality and catholic guilt. Don’t ask him which. i can't even capture the vibe of this fic in just a few lines but holy shit is it brilliant. the most incredibly writing, great characterisation, and also just very hot stuff. an immediate bookmark and new favourite!
#haven't been on here a ton so i'm super behind on tags and such#but i wanted to dip back in for this rec list#and hopefully a new fic chapter tonight <3#i'll be properly back as soon as life calms down#so i'll see yall soon hehe#buddie#buddie fic#buddie fic rec#911 abc#911 fic#911 fic rec#michelle’s recs#fic rec list
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dreamland: leya's struggles
authors note: this is super short and not anything major. literally wrote this in like half an hour. i could expound on it if people are interested. just wanted to give some insight to what it was like for roso and leya dealing with her ocd when she was younger.
only gonna tag a few people. if i end up expounding on it, i'll tag my usual "everyone" list.
words: 800
masterlist
warnings: angst, depiction of ocd in children
The sound of horns honking startles both Leya and Tama, the latter of which starts to stir in his car seat, single handedly exacerbating an already nightmare of a situation.
“Hurry up!”
It’s a single voice that’s followed up with several others, all expressing the same level of pressure and rudeness.
Solana is seconds away from marching over to the woman directly behind the suv behind her car when Tama’s soft, sleepy voice serves as a deterrent. “Mama, I wanna go home….”
A shared sentiment, one that makes most sense for him, as he’d either be back in bed by now or cuddled on the sofa with her while he takes a nap.
Obviously, that’s not an option.
“I know, baby,” she comforts. Solana does take a step back but instead of acting out of character, she directs her clear, unmistakable command to Jacob. “Shut them up.”
With a nod, Solana only catches his face shifting into that infamous scowl as he walks over to the cars lined up behind her, a line that has to be backed out into the street at this point.
With that handled, Solana moves back to the issue at hand.
Leya continues to cry, sniffling as her little chest moves up and down. Solana can see the tips of her fingers turning red from the repeated, forceful buckling and unbuckling of her seatbelt.
“Leya….” Solana’s voice breaks. As best as she’s doing to maintain her composure, it’s a slowly losing battle. “Baby, it’s okay. We can g—”
“No!” Leya cries, shaking her head, still not looking at Solana as the concerned mother continues to gently stroke her hair. “I gotta—I gotta do it right, mommy, or something bad will happen!”
“Cataleya, I promise you nothing bad is going to happen, baby.” A reassuring statement she’s had to have stated at least ten times now over the past almost half hour that’s passed since the start of Leya’s episode. “But, you have to get out the ca—”
“No!” Leya begins to cry harder, once again going to remove her seatbelt, counting to three with her fingers before doing it all over again. A repeated, consistent, obsessive act that’s led to the situation they’re in now. A situation Solana has no idea how to handle. This is the first time it’s ever been this bad.
“What’s wrong, Leya?” Tama asks in his sweet voice, worry filling his little face as he tries to comfort her. Unfortunately, that only does the opposite. Leya cries out and jerks her body away, swatting his helping hand, prompting his bottom lip to poke out as he too starts to cry.
“Leya, please don’t hit your brother.” It’s hard for Solana to be upset with or even scold her daughter, because she knows Leya can’t help it. Knows that it’s only because anyone else’s touch other than hers feels “wrong” to Leya, thus her reacting the way she did. “Tama, it’s okay, baby boy. Leya just doesn’t feel good.”
Solana is sure none of them are feeling good, especially herself, her hand moving to her small baby bump as a sudden wave of nausea washes over her.
God please, not right now.
Of all times, not now.
She just can’t handle this.
Solana moves to open the passenger door and reaches over to grab her cell phone out of the cupholder. Shaking, trembling hands move to Roman’s contact, as she too quickly hits the call button.
Three rings followed by a soft, feminime voice. “Mr. Reigns office, how can I—”
“Shit,” Solana curses and closes her eyes. She dialed his office number instead of his personal cell. “I’m sorry, Alicia, this is Solana. I need you to put me through with Roman.”
“Oh, hi, Mrs. Reigns,” she greets, voice kind but almost unsure. “Ummm—Mr. Reigns is in the middle of—”
“Alicia,” Solana doesn’t hesitate to interrupt. “Get my husband on this line now.”
The woman nervously clears her throat. “Of course.” A pause. “Just a minute.”
And it’s just about a full minute that passes when Solana hears her husband’s deep, baritone voice on the other end. “Solana? What’s wr—”
“I need you to meet me at the school,” she cuts in, emotion in her voice as her eyes start watering all over again. “I can’t—I can’t get Leya out the car. She’s—she’s stuck in a ritual, and I’ve got Tama, and he’s crying, and I can’t—I don’t know what to do.” Her voice breaks at the end, the overwhelming nature of it all finally trampling her
“Mommy, don’t cry,” Tama comforts, eyes focused on Solana from the backseat.
Solana is unsure if Roman can hear their five-year-old, because he’s doing the same, “baby, don’t cry. It’s okay.” It provides some solace but not as much as Solana knowing how to help her daughter could provide. “I’m on my way.”
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hiiii! can I request some hcs (fluff + smut) for chrollo (or any other troupe members) if they have a husband/wife from meteor city (who he grew up with)?
im just rlly tired of ppl constantly making the pt k!snap their s/o’s tbh😕
ty!!!!!
Ofc I can !! <3 also I agree with the kidnapping part , I struggle to find good troupe content that isn't grr yandere zaddy kidnaps you. No hate to those who like that though !
phantom troupe members w a S/O they grew up with !! 🕷️ྀི` .
✧ characters in this are chrollo , feitan , shalnark , pakunoda
✧ content : headcanon format , fluff , smut / not safe for work content , fingering , oral , p in v ( chrollo , feitan , shalnarks part) , angst / death on pakus , also I don't really know how to write male or gn reader so I just did fem !! I hope that's ok.
!! Minors, please do not interact with this post !!
Chrollo 🕷️ྀི` .
✧ growing up with chrollo before the incident with Sarasa's death would be quite sweet tbh , staying up late together , talking about finding new tapes to perform and dub over. You were always a constant in his life , which was comforting for him.
✧ after the trauma of Sarasa's death , It just made him need you around him more. that need for you to be safe lasts into his adult years. This man is so protective of you , not in a cliche get away from my girl type way , no its in the way that your safety is on his mind alot. Especially with the line of work he's in. Probably keeps a troupe member with you at most times when he's not home , just in case.
✧ with the fact you grew up together , you already knew the troupe before it existed , so it would be something he couldn't really hide from you.
✧ I'm a firm believer in that chrollo is suffering from insomnia or some disorder that is similar. like this man is never asleep first when you're both in bed , when he finally puts his book away to sleep you can feel his arms snake around your waist as he breathes in your nostalgic scent. He doesn't get many times to relax nor to be so close to you due to the troupe, but he enjoys these moments more than anything , It brings him back to a simpler time.
✧ you both visit meteor City quiet abit (i'd also like to think you got married there) , seeing you pass out new clothes and food to the kids who live there warms his heart , it makes him remember why he fell for you in the first place.
✧ you were his first time and the only woman he wants to pleasure. I feel like growing up with him makes being intimate just that much more passionate , he fucks you like he might never see you again (which is a possibility If he isnt careful enough with protecting you , the reality makes his heart ache.) . Whispering the dirtiest but softest praises into your ear , acting like he isn't making you moan so loud under him , your voice might give out.
✧ this man eats pussy SO well , after the first time he eats you out your just stunned for a second , like what magic did this man just cast on your pussy to make you feel this good. He probably read a book about it or something. Also defo would eat you out because he likes it not for anything in return , your needs come first for him.
✧ about seeing you helping out the kids in meteor City thing I mentioned. when your home be ready. He doesn't have a breeding kink , but the thought of you taking care of his child and doing motherly activities makes him so happy he can't help but want to get you pregnant the second you close the front door. Get ready for a long night , he has stamina , and he won't be stopping till you're absolutely full of his loads. He'd whisper to you how "I should of done this so much sooner , my darling" or "feeling you this raw is pure bliss... like I'm fully claiming you in body and mind."
✧ 100% into cock warming you while reading a book. No one will change my opinion.
Feitan🕷️ྀི` .
✧ when you first met him , he avoided you like the plague. Honestly , at first you thought he hated your guts. Whenever you hung out with him and his friends , he'd refuse to reply to you but he didn't mean it in a rude way he just didn't want to embarrass himself around you because of how bad his english was.
✧ phinks eventually told you why he wouldn't talk to you , which made you feel somewhat bad ? To communicate with him for a while , you used a pen and some paper you found in the garbage heeps writing down what you said to help him learn some English.
✧ the first time hearing his voice is SHOCKING , he wrote down how he didn't want to because it sounded bad but you thought his voice was soothing which you told him , making him a bit more comfortable around you.
✧ As he grew up , he got more reserved but you didn't care sticking to him like glue , he could complain as much as he wanted saying you where wasting your time being around him or that it's too dangerous for you to stick with him but his words never held any malice more concern that you would get hurt by something or his actions but he'd never admit to having such 'weak' thoughts.
✧ like chrollo , he's another protective boy , but he doesn't trust anyone else with protecting you but himself. Would break someone's neck for looking at you in a way he didn't like , oh and don't even get me started if someone tries to hit on you because they think he's just some short loser who got lucky... let's just say later that night you will hear some screaming coming from the basement (aka where he does his work).
✧ you definitely know about the troupe , he's probably the only one who will outright tell you before you can ask. I mean , he literally tortures people... when you move in together , he literally can't hide it , so he's just honest with you. Another thing if the screams from the basement freak you out and you complain he probably will be grumpy about it , but he will line the walls down there to make it not as loud.
✧ for feitan knowing him from childhood will 100% be the easiest way for him to be comfortable around you , feitan just doesn't like people to be honest but your company is actually enjoyable for him.
✧ another cute thing I can imagine is him trying to teach you his native language like you taught him some English. You telling him you love him in his native tongue... the things that does to him.
✧ both of your firsts times are with each other. Honestly , sometimes you doubt he would have ever even had sex if it wasn't for you. Your first time was... not the best because you both had no idea what to do really , but after that mess of a first time , he definitely went to chrollo or phinks for advice. Another thing is not to make fun of him for it , it would really hurt his ego and he'd probably avoid you for a couple weeks.
✧ he is still a total sadist don't get me wrong but with you he's softer , he can't bring himself to hurt you alot. The worst he can do is bite you or slap you , anything else makes him feel icky because it reminds him of his work too much. He still finds your tears really hot though , and will overstim you just to see them.
✧ the first time he finger you , it was surprising how good he was with his hands (for a torturer , I guess you have to be). He's so unfair when he fingers you , he hits spots so deep you see colours then he'll pull back just near your climax saying he didn't say you could finish yet with a dumb smirk on his face as tears threaten to fall from your pathetic looking eyes.
✧ probably doesn't want kids even if you knew him that long his opinion wouldn't change , if you asked he'd say "no. I dont like kids" but really , he didn't mind kids he just didn't want to bring more kids into a world like this.
✧ super random but has eaten you out in your period before , he doesn't think it's a big deal... like he's around blood everyday ? What difference does it make.
Shalnark 🕷️ྀི` .
✧ he definitely mocked and teased you a lot when you were younger. Stealing your shoes when you where acting on the stage with everyone else or messing up your cute braids in your hair , but he never meant it in a mean way , it was his weird way of showing he liked you.
✧ probably the only one out of the guys to realise he had a crush on you as a kid , would cope by being even more of a little shit to you till he went to far one day and actually upset you , which led to admitting he was only mean to you because he had a silly little crush.
✧ this man is sooo clingy to you , he gives pathetic vibes like you can't leave this mf alone for a couple hours without getting messages like , 'babeeee I miss you (˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )' and 'come homeeee pretty please ? 。°(°.◜ᯅ◝°)°。' (yes I believe he uses emoticons). When he's busy on troupe work he's calling you every hour it feels like , feeding you some lies about being on a work trip.
✧ he wouldn't be honest about the troupe with you. You know all the members as you grew up with them , but he thought leaving you in the dark was better. If you asked too many questions , he'd probably tell you you're being delulu. he doesn't want to lie to you but your safety is too important to him and he knows he isn't like feitan and chrollo , he can't always protect you.
✧ he's not yandere , but he is a bit obsessed with you , having cameras in the rooms in his house so he can watch you when he's lonely on a mission. He wouldn't take advantage of the fact he can see you without you knowing , if you started to change clothes or something , he'd turn the screen off. If he wanted to see you naked he'd literally just ask for nudes or look at old pics you sent him.
✧ your first time was... Good ? Shalnark actually knew what to do , mostly from how much porn he's watched to prepare for the day he finally got to do it. Side note he also made you finish during your first time.
✧ he's such a service top when he doms , he struggles to tease you because of how needy for him you sound , can you blame him though when you look so pretty under him ?
✧ whenever he is busy on work for the troupe but he misses you , he always ends up calling you even if you're in public , whispering sweet praises into your ear through the phone asking you to go to somewhere private because he misses you. "Baby... please ? It's been a week and I'm so needy for you" his whiney voice would beg at you , he was too cute to deny.
✧ he loves seeing you in really girly lingerie. It makes you look so innocent that he feels bad for having such perverse thoughts about you.
Pakunoda 🕷️ྀི` .
✧ while you were trying to catch an injured kitten to help it , crawling over the heep of trash it ran over , you saw a blonde young girl you soon learned who's name was pakunoda holding it , softly stroking its fur as it snuggled up into her. Her caring and nurturing personality has been known since the day you met her.
✧ you two were like two peas in a pod , always cheering her on in the audience when she was on stage with the rest of her friends acting out the tapes. It was so silly , but you both had made a pinky promise that when you grew up you would get married.
✧ after Sarasa's death , she abandoned you to focus on the troupe. She left you with a kiss on the cheek and a "I promise when we grow up , I'll find you... and I won't stop till I do." Being forced out as she looked at your form , hands shaking tears forming and soft begs for her not to leave.
✧ you had no clue how she did it but after you left meteor City and moved to yorknew she found you , waiting for her felt like waiting for glue to dry and when she came back she refused to ever leave you again.
✧ she isn't possessive I'd say , but she does sometimes check your memories to make sure you don't do anything bad when she isn't around. She doesn't worry about your safety as much as the others also because no one knows your her s/o but you both.
✧ she told you about the troupe after you demanded an explanation for her leaving you , though she didn't explain her nen ability to you yet mainly just because she doesn't think you're ready for that.
✧ got you a cat called ophelia , it reminds her of how you both first met and she also likes for you to have company when she's busy.
✧ you weren't each others first times , but with how loving and passionate it felt like it was your first time , you would never forget the feeling of her nails running down your spine as she whispered sweet nothings into your ears , leaving lipstick marks on your jaw.
✧ she doesn't like strap-ons , Likes to think her hands and mouth are enough to make you fulfilled , but if you ask her to use a vibrator on you she wouldn't mind.
✧ LOVES when you sit on her face , her nose is built for grinding on as she eats you out. If you were worried about crushing her , she'd spend a good couple minutes lecturing you about your weight was nothing to her and if she did 'die' being crushed by you , it would be a perfectly fine death for her in her mind.
✧ you would only learn about her nen ability when she found out she was the one to have to go get the boss. She had called you after telling the troupe about you , then explained the situation , asking you to go to the location of the troupes base incase this was the last time she could contact you.
✧ after she got kurapikas chain around her heart , she already knew her fate. After the deal went well getting the boss back , she came to the troupes base. Your wet eyes looked at her as you ran to her , falling to your knees , hugging waist. She felt guilty knowing what she was about to do. she ended up using a memory bullet on you instead of one of the troupe members , you deserve an explanation after you spent most of your life waiting for her.
✧ after her death , you kept her gun , keeping it as your last reminder of her you could bare to keep around yourself. Every once in a while , someone in the troupe would send u a message from a random number to see if you were okay the first year after. You were also set for life as everything she had went to you , but it never filled that hole in your heart.
✧ that promise of marriage never happened , huh ?
Omg I got abit carried away on pakus LOL. But I hope you enjoy <3
#hxh#hunter x hunter#phantom troupe#hxh smut#hxh x reader#hunter x hunter fanfic#hunter x hunter x reader#hunter x hunter smut#chrollo x reader#chrollo lucifer x reader#chrollo lucilfer#chrollo lucilfer smut#feitan porter x reader#feitan x reader#feitan portor#feitan smut#shalnark x reader#shalnark smut#pakunoda x reader#pakunoda#pakunoda smut#fanfic
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Dating Jason Todd (Part Four)
fanfic type: angst, fluff, comfort (ongoing)
If you liked the Titans show but wish they handled Jason’s story line differently you might like this fic!
Hey so this is in fact my first time writing fanfiction (idk what my life has come to). Sorry if it’s cringy but also I would eat this up cause I LOVE some good angsty comfort fanfiction. I won’t write smut. I don’t think I’m gonna do requests but if you have any ideas feel free to let me know. Also of course I don’t own any DC characters this is purely fanfiction. Although I’ve had tumblr for a bit I’m not really used to posting stuff so sorry if I don’t format everything well. Thank you and I hope you enjoy. (I hope you like run-on sentences💀) (if you don’t like it don’t be rude just move on dude😃🧍♀️)
So story line, this doesn’t really take place in any specific universe but I’m gonna be pulling concepts from Titans, The Batman, Under the Red Hood, Arkham Knight lore and whatever lore I remember from the CW shows cause I grew up watching those, then just my imagination of course. Reader uses she/her pronouns btw.
Warnings: talking about death, suicide, depression, torture (it’s not graphic I hate gore it’s just sad), talking about intimacy (not graphic), struggling with eating, topics of grief
Part four: Arkham
Although you told Gar you were going to sleep that didn’t happen. Instead you stayed up picking apart the new note of the Jokers Dick sent you. Rachel texted you about an hour ago letting you know her and Kori got to Gotham safely and she promised to update you. You didn’t know why Dick felt the need to break one of the promises he made to you, but finding out that information was a problem for another day. The problem right now was finding Jason, he was all you could think about. You didn’t know where he was or what he could be going through.
Gotham City Point of View
Jason remembers finding Joker at the abandoned amusement park. He was sure he’d finally get his chance to drag joker to Arkham himself. It seems the exact opposite happened though, Jason was now tied to a chair in Arkham. He tried to move but was quickly ment with an excruciating stabbing pain through his whole body. It seemed to be coming from the barbed wire that kept him tied to the chair. He knew we was in Arkham because he recognized the cell from the times him and Bruce dropped by to ask various criminals various questions. Jason always suspected part of Arkham if not all of it was corrupt and not handling criminals properly. The fact that he was there confirmed his theory. His Robin suit was covered in blood, he assumed it was his own. The smell of the cell told him he was most likely in an abandoned condemned part of the hospital. It was oddly quiet, the only noise being from running rats and dripping of broken pipes.
Regular Point of View
“Y/N!” You felt someone shaking you awake. “Y/N,” Gar says.
“What! What’s happened!” You yelled suddenly not being at all tired.
“They think they decoded the latest note, Dick and Rachel said they called you but I guess you slept through it,” he says.
“Shit!” You say. “The note, what’s it say?”
“The baby bird is kept, where the bats mother wept, soon to only be, is what the Archer really needs, alone and free to be, haunted by eternity,” Rachel says through the phone.
“Obviously the baby bird is Jason and you’re the archer, the general idea is joker is gonna kill Jason to haunt you forever, what we can’t get is the location,” Dick says.
“Well bat is Batman obviously,” you say trying to calm down from being woken up so suddenly.
“Wasn’t Martha Wayne an Arkham?” Gar says.
“Holy shit!” You say. “Dick he’s at Arkham, joker has Jason at Arkham somewhere. Gar you’re a genius.”
“We’re on our way,” Dick says through the phone before he hangs up.
Gotham Point of View
Jason’s whole body hurt. He didn’t even know pain could feel this bad. Sure he’s broken bones, been tortured before, and nearly died, but none of that came close to what he was feeling now.
“So tell me Robin, or should I say Jason Todd,” Joker began to say. “What is it exactly that your little girlfriend sees in you?”
“Fucking excuse me?” Jason says.
“Well you surely know before you she had a thing with the other Robin, the first Robin…the better Robin,” Joker says.
Jason laughs, it causes him immeasurable amounts of pain but he laughs to cover his fear. “Damn clown, have you really seeped that low were you gotta get your entertainment from a fucking rumored young adult love triangle?” Jason says.
“You know,” Joker’s voice was serious it made a chill go up Jason’s spine. “You know replacement Robin, one day that smartass attitude of yours might just be the death of you,” he starts manically laughing again. Jason felt genuine pure fear at the crazy purple suit wearing man standing before him. Joker reached onto the filthy floor and picked up a crowbar.
Regular Point of View
You and Gar were sitting on the couch, wide awake, in silence when your phone rang well into the next morning.
“We haven’t found anything yet,” Dick says. “But we’ve got every cop and Arkham security guard in Gotham looking for him, we’re searching Arkham wing by wing.”
“Okay, can you put Rachel on,” you say.
“Hold up I wanna talk to you-“ he starts to say.
“Dick please put Rachel on,” you say again.
“I will in three fucking seconds but just answer me real quick. I heard you slept through fifteen phone calls. When’s the last time you ate something?”
“You are fucking unbelievable,” you say.
“Just answer the question,” he says.
“Last night,” you say in a condescending tone.
“And how long were you actually asleep for do you think?” He asks in a serious voice ignoring your passive aggressive tone.
“I don’t know…” you say “Like an hour or two,” you say.
“Right, I’ll put Rachel on then go to sleep and have Gar wake up as soon as we call again,” he says.
“Fine,” you say.
“Hey,” Rachel says.
“Hey how’s everything going?” You ask.
“It’s just what Dick said, we’re searching Arkham wing by wing, and Dicks going behind GCPD like a mom remaking a bed,” she says. That took you aback, the fact that Dick was going behind GCPD double checking to make sure each room was clear.
“Okay, thanks Rachel just call back as soon as you guys find something,” you say. You hang up and figure you should take Dick’s advice to try to get some sleep.
“Hey Gar, are you good staying up if I try to get some sleep?” You ask him.
“Yeah sure,” he says.
“Just make sure to wake me up as soon as someone calls,” you say.
“Course,” he says.
Back in Gotham Dick, Kori, Rachel and Barbra crept through every inch of Arkham searching for Jason.
“We missed down this hall,” Dick says to one of the cops.
“Yeah unit nine got that one,” the cop says.
“No I’m checking them all myself, Barbra’s orders,” Dick says.
“Yeah but that wings condemned, it’s simply not safe and-“ the cop is cut off when Dick starts speedily walking towards the hall.
“Sir! Sir! You can’t go down there!” The cop yells. Dick bursts through the door and apart from it being disgusting it looks structurally fine. He reaches for his ear piece and tells Barbra to send everyone over to sweep the wing. They search every cell, every hall, and every room under finally on the floor of one of the cells is a bloody boy beaten to a pulp lying dead wearing a Robin suit. On the floor of the Arkham cell was the corpse of Jason Todd. Dick checked his pulse and exhausted CPR before a cop ripped him from Jason’s body.
“He’s gone, he’s gone” Kori said taking Dick from the cop. Dick was completely out of it. He felt as thought he might throw up that is when he reverted back to the man he was before he became nightwing. He stormed over to Barbra.
“You’ve got dirty cops here,” he said angrily.
“I know, look you need to pull yourself together okay don’t do this here,” she says.
“You know? How would you father fucking feel about you letting his damn police force go to shit!” He yells.
“Hey! You are way fucking out of line, I know Jason’s dead but you need to stay focused, this isn’t over yet. And I know Arkham has gone to hell and so has half my police force but I’m doing the best I can,” Barbra says. Dick is about to say something else when he practically leaps over to Rachel and rips her phone out of her hand.
“The hell are you doing?” He says.
“Dick, we have to call them!” Rachel says.
“Listen Rachel give everyone a second okay,” Kori says.
“No, this is exactly why I’m here so you don’t wait five hours,” she says.
“Fine fine, you’re right but let me make the call I want to tell Gar first,” he says.
“Fine but let me tell Gar,” Rachel says.
Back at the tower Gar gets a call from Dick and the first thing he says is, “is Y/N asleep?”
“Yeah,” Gar says.
“Don’t wake her up yet,” Dick says.
“But she said-“ Gar starts to say before he’s interrupted by Rachel.
“Gar don’t wake her up yet,” Rachel says.
“What’s going on Rach, have you guys found Jason?” Gar asks.
“Yes, we found him.” She says. She hesitates before saying, “Gar, he’s…gone”
“Gone? What do you mean gone? Like disappeared again gone? Gone missing?” Gar says talking quickly.
“No Gar, he’s dead,” she says softly.
“What?” He says with a voice crack.
“We um, we found him in Arkham…it looks like he’s been beaten…he’s been beaten to death,” she says.
“Oh my God,” he says beginning to tear up. “Shit am I the one telling Y/N?” Gar asks.
“No, Dick said he will,” Rachel says.
“I’d really like to just let her sleep honestly,” Dick says.
“She wants to be waken up and told,” Rachel says. It’s not like Dick was scared to break the news he knew it was going to go badly. He just liked the idea of you asleep, peacefully unaware that you’d never see Jason again.
“Wake her up and give her the phone off speaker,” Dick says plainly.
“Y/N?” Gar says softly waking you up.
“What’s happened?” You say quickly snapping out of your sleepy state.
“Um…Dick is on the phone for you,” he says. You take the phone from Gar.
“Y/N,” Dick says softly.
“Have you found him,” you say with anticipation.
“I’m so sorry Y/N” Dick says.
“Sorry! What do you mean you’re sorry?” You say frantically.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t keep my promise, we found Jason, he’s dead.” Dick says.
Hey, writing jokers dialogue felt awkward so I hope it’s not too cringy💀 Anyways if you liked the fic please like I really appreciate positive feedback cause then I know to continue posting parts. I’d like to keep posting parts to this story I plan on developing the whole redhood story line and then doing some backstory with how the reader met Jason and Dick and joined titans. So yeah any positive feedback would be greatly appreciated even if it’s just liking the fic! Thank you and I hope you enjoyed reading🩷
Also here’s my Masterlist if you haven’t read the other parts.
Masterlist
#jason todd x y/n#jason todd x you#jason todd comfort#jason todd imagine#jason todd fluff#jason todd x reader#jason todd x oc#jason todd angst#jason todd fanfiction#jason todd fic#jason todd#redhood x you#redhood x reader#red hood#arkham knight x you#arkham knight x reader#arkham knight#dick grayson#dick grayson x reader#dick grayson fanfiction#titans fanfiction#dc titans#titans#dc fanfic#dc fanfiction#dc comics#angst#fluff#hurt/comfort#ongoing
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Guys, I usually say 'lets read the good stuff', but this is something new. I want you to read and learn with me today. And we will be learning, how Russian literature functions and what can you steal (and stealing as an artist is quite a skill and a good thing) from it to make your fanfiction. Before we jump to it: I know next to nothing about Juju, so any of my assumptions may be wrong. I also used a term 'stealing', but by no means do I hint on Juju stealing anything!! They clearly grew up in a very rich cultural context, they read a lot and it shows. The reason, why we will be stealing things is that I will try to a quick dive in Russian literature without forcing you to read Russian classics.
Russian literature loves existential reflection.
Jujus world is full of little lively details, yet it's so cold and lonely there. The cold, oppressive environment mirrors the introspection of the reader, symbolizing internal struggles and a yearning for connection. Colorful windows are there, but they don't warm us up, we are still alone out there. The narrative constantly reflects on the emptiness and desolation of the world, even as it acknowledges the signs of life around. And this is something that you find in Dostoevskys Saint Petersburg. The duality of existing in a world teeming with life, but feeling utterly alone is very common for Russian culture and Juju demonstrates, how can you bring this piece to your fanfiction.
Rich descriptions.
Russian literature revolves around them. Be it Tolstoys page-long sentences or "Purpur twilight with glitter of snow wraps itself around another building that forgot it used to be white." If you want to bring this tingle of Russian classics to your story - treat your environment as a character that need as much description and dynamics as your OC.
Focus on human connection and longing.
Even when everything you talk about is a cold-cold world around - don't forget the real reason behind this all. The longing for another person (Nikto) and the comfort of shared warmth is central to the story. This focus on deep emotional bonds, despite an external environment of coldness and detachment, is often found in Russian literature (like in Lermontovs poetry where his characters are usually very confused guys, trying to figure out what are they missing so hard and finding out, its simple human bonds)
Symbolism.
You want to enrich your story - season it with symbols, you want to make your story full or Russian doomer-like vibes - make these symbols about imprisonment and freedom. The description of snowflakes as "inmates that weren't lucky enough to escape" does the trick perfectly.
Complex emotional depictions.
Despite a popular archetype characters in Russian literature are not these always screaming, laughing, bear-fighting daredevils. Usually, they are guys that try to relive 20 different emotions at once and not make it too obvious. The interplay of subtle emotions, such as the hesitation, longing and quiet warmth shared between the reader and Nikto, reflects the emotional nuance often present in Russian literature. Characters rarely express their emotions directly. Instead, their feelings are revealed through small gestures and actions, much like the "subtle smile" that "lights up his face and evaporates."
Melancholic tone and acceptance of suffering
Look, Russian classic authors love angst and hurt with no comfort. So even in the fluffiest fluff they would write something like “Harsh cold kissing you with the passion of death personified. Something you're familiar with.” Because you, the reader, coming to the text raised from Russian culture are doomed to suffer. You are a stoic now, you embrace suffering as an inescapable part of life. And this is something that happens with every second character in Russian literature.
Ok this was not just a good stuff, this was a journey. Thank you Juju!
Hey, @nrdmssgs, sorry for annoying you, I'm mostly tagging you not for the text, but for the video. I just... thought you'd get it, you know? Sorry in advance if that won't really do anything for you.
It's just a little Nikto x reader something.
Song: Раньше в твоих глазах - Кино
Hot exhale turns into dampness on the cloth covering your mouth when it comes into contact with the cold air outside. Thick knitwear protects tender insides, but irritates skin around your lips, so pulling it down brings short relief before frosty wind bites into the vulnerable wet patches. Wiping it off with your sleeve is futile, wooly coat already covered in prickly snowflake crystals that melt against your skin, so you end up letting it go. Harsh cold kissing you with the passion of death personified.
Something you're familiar with.
Grey bumpy wall of a panel house with a cage wart of cellar maintenance entrance, frozen lock defying gravity and utterly useless with rusty hinges that will come off from a little nudge, protects you from the calm blizzard; little flame from your lighter licking at the end of your cigarette and successfully lighting it up first try. Orange light powers up with your first drag, shining just as bright and useless as the warm street lamps along the alley.
It's the cold, white ones, exposing every little snowflake incoming like icy missiles of the sky army, that actually do something to the darkness. Barely afternoon and it already feels like the middle of the night.
Smoke turns into purple mist when you breathe it out into the illusive air with the moisture of your lungs.
The world feels empty as you walk. It's undeniably riddled with signs of life, yellow windows of apartment complexes with a few pink or purple sprinkled in, crows cursing the cold, God - or maybe even you - hoarsly, crunchy snow pressed into a slippery surface by dozens of boots that walked in since the snowfall started. And yet you're filled with the peaceful feeling of being completely alone.
Funny how that makes you going out to the streets useless - before you exited your apartment, you were gearing up in warm clothes to meet someone. As soon as you stepped outside, liminal world of non-existent time - dawn, dusk and afternoon all at once - claimed you into its twilight mist.
Purpur twilight with glitter of snow wraps itself around another building that forgot it used to be white and pushes you between your shoulder blades. Same whirlwind moves a children's swing on a playground, fresh layer of snow where there's no one to sit anymore.
There's no one to lend you gloves as your fingers grow stiff, clutching an unflavoured cigarette. To your right, an endless stone wall with barbed wire on top drags along. Fluffy snowflake conglamerates get pierced by the spikes like inmates that weren't lucky enough to escape.
A bright white street lamp works as a floodlight in this one-person prison, sharp shadows softened by the twilight.
Crows notice him first. Shoulders slightly slouched to brace against the wind, hands deep in the pockets of a worn jacket with thick padding, heavy steps sinking into the fresh layer of powdered diamonds - a beast treading the zone. Grumpy birds scatter away, flapping their ashy black wings, unsynchronized choir of curse caws rolls off the man's broad shoulders with snow.
He notices you only after you drop what's left of your cigarette on the ground, barely warm butt burrowing itself into a tiny black dip, and take off. His steps stutter, then pick up again, and by the time you slam yourself into his sturdy chest, Nikto is already prepared for impact and doesn't even sway, catching you.
His hands are securely protected by thick black gloves, yet you still feel the desperation his fingers dig into your back through all the layers of winter clothes.
"Komu veleno bylo doma sidet', zhdat'?"* Voice muffled by his mask, he scoffs at the way you blatantly ignore his question, and leans even more in to brush what's left of his nose underneath against yours.
"I just wanted to meet you halfway." You shrug and roll your eyes as you see him pull off his gloves. A moment later your hands start boiling - fluffy insides of Andre's gloves accumulated so much warmth that your fingers prickle as they warm up.
"And I hoped I'd get fresh tea as soon as I come home." He chuckles, reaching into your pocket unceremoneously and fishing the cigarette pack and lighter out.
You escape the prison floodlight brightness and under gloomy protection of thickened twilight and grey concrete he exposes just his mouth to light the cigarette and take a drag.
"I boiled some literally a few minutes ago. And made pirozhki. A fuckton, actually, just in case someone comes home really hungry."
It's impossible to miss his subtle smile once you learn to catch it in the mere seconds it lights up his face and evaporates, like a shitty lightbulb at the stairwell of your building, reeking of old cigarette ash from the cat food can people use as ashtray at the bottom step. Nikto tilts his head up, letting the wind take his smoke and add it to the clouds that turn water into powdered sugar on the ground.
"S chem?"*
A panel house opens its maw, letting you both inside.
You stomp your feet in unison on the dirty, wet communal carpet, adding to the melted snow on it, before you move to the elevator.
"With love."
*Komu veleno bylo doma sidet', zhdat'? - Whom did I tell to sit and wait at home?
*S chem? - With what (filling)?
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🧼: «So how'd ye become 'The Ghost'?» 💀: «I saw a ghost, once»
New tiktok available (yes, it's about Ghost 09 backstory, Roba and Found Family)
Please support me with a REBLOG to be in Call Of Duty circle here on tumblr, thank you!
ko-fi
#john soap mactavish#simon ghost riley#modern warfare 2#call of duty#Soon it will be over and buried with our past#All that's left is a ghost of you#this lyrics of “little talks” by Of Monster and Men inspires me#simon riley#ghoap#ghost x soap#soap mactavish#yes i know 09 ghost backstory it's not the same of 22 ghost#but we don't know 22 ghost backstory so...#i drew Roba as well#because I NEED ANGST with my comfort characters!#but also Task Force 141 as FOUND FAMILY trope#cod#cod edit#giotanner#call of duty edit#simon ghost riley art#john mactavish fanart#ghoap art#call of duty modern warfare#mw2#mw3#artists on tumblr#drawing
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Okay I just realized this (I think I might be stupid) but isn't Don like... the first Canto of the second half of the Limbus Company story...? And she's our local funny crackhead troublemaker with a funny lance...? I think PM putting her as our first Sinner in the second half is actually kinda genius idk...
(Mentions of major spoilers post WARP Train)
Dream ending -> (Ignoring the "Dream Ending" being a "Good Ending" interpretation) Fun times ending -> We might lose the "Don Quixote" we know -> more grim storyline since she was our main comic relief ?
I don't know... I'm getting mixed feelings about this Canto cause on one hand I know this is going to be peak (Idk if it'll personally top Canto V bc frankly I relate to it a bit too much in terms of message) but on the other hand I'm really worried about what'll happen to our "Don Quixote".
I think I got too attached to the current "Don Quixote" and her silliness. I want to believe we'll still have her but I don't want her to be stuck hiding her bloodfiend self (I just don't think it's good for her I guess?) I want this Canto to come quickly aghhhhh
#Yeah mixed feelings all around#Don is kinda my comfort character like how Tsukasa is#And as much as I love their angst I enjoy it because I can always rely on canon to stay mostly the same#I guess that's true for proseka but I need to remember that it's not for Limbus and other PM games...#I hope they strike a nice balance#The “og” DonSinYi trio (post Canto IV) will always be near and dear to my heart#Let's brace ourselves for Canto VII...#limbus company#lcb#don quixote lcb#Canto VII
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Becoming obsessed with a new show is so insane like I'm not even finished with S1 of LR but here I am sitting with a 17,200+ word outline of a fic that isn't even half conceptualized along with five other +2,500 word outlines that also aren't half conceptualized and about 25+ fic ideas jotted down in my notes. I'm feeling completely normal about Lab Rats 🫶
#and ngl I feel nervous to even potentially share these some day if I even continue writing#I say that because I wrote a few pics for my other fandom but then I just lost motivation to write when I became less obsessed with the sho#but I'm not even knee deep into LR and now I have all these fic ideas so I'm hoping my motivation won't fail me now#not to mention almost all of these pics involve a somewhat obscure character *cough cough* look at url *cough cough* that from what-#I've seen the fandom feels iffy about that character so it's honestly just me writing fanfics for myself if I think about it tbh#but I love angst and he has such good angst potential and yeah he's not well written and is honestly a comedic relief character in a way#but I have notes on him and think he's an interesting concept and he could have been so much more (and better written in S3 & 4)#oh yeah I have a lot ideas for art stuff too it's just that I need to practice more before I feel comfortable enough to put stuff on here#anyways if anyone read my tags here's a gold star for reading my crazed thoughts ⭐️#personal
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Kinda sick of the angst in HS when it comes to fan stuff. Not in the sense that things should be happy or that its not fun, no not at all. I'm just sick of how it becomes a competition of "I suffered the most" basically.
.
#homestuck confession#mod cola#yeah i feel that#the only homestuck angst thats right in my opinion are the ones written right to show that no one had it worse than the other#and that everyones just scared kids trying to heal#not sure if ive seen anything made like that but i have specific and special versions made like that where everyone gets a turn processing#what happened and gets a comfort area where they can move on and begin to heal#like bad shit and trauma is not a competition everyone processes things differently#so its good when other people are there to support each other#the only angst i need is like a group therapy session#please fanfiction gods give me group therapy where everyone struggles over their issues but is healing in the correct way#and that means setbacks too i want to see setbacks and support and everyone there for each other#and it doesnt have to be perfect it can be messy and full of mistakes that gets corrected later because thats realistic#it takes time and you learn from it all especially since all the kids have their own thing going on not everyone will know how to properly#do things and all#oops i ranted in the tags#enjoy my take lol#i just like analyzing characters and interactions and what their reactions to certain situations would be#tbh wish i could fully write it down but i feel cringy whenever i do
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-sits- man have I been sitting all night daydreaming about sticks (Rupert), like sticks (Rupert) everywhere and sticks (Rupert) anywhere, but y'know sticks (Rupert) are good
(Rupert) let me draw the art i wanna make, please.
#4am thoughts were i came to a conclusion. Rupert Price is such a character#i mean i love him as I love Burt and oh god I've been just thinking about him#like Rupert here and there#he became my comfort character#Still thinking abt his interactions with other sticks#i love thinking abt how his personality and everything can change or have changed. -#Man why are you so 24/7 angry#boy chill pls. Ough i really love sitting and analyzing all expressions and lines of same character#how the fuck i got so invested into sticks lore -sits and dies#ughhhhhh i love Rupert so muchhhhh i crave more content abt him like ughhhh#i need to see more hcs wah#cuz i did really put such a time into developing his relationship with Dave and Johnny. like boi he couldnt go on Johnny's death#like you think abt this man who was practically your mentor at policeschool#like i hc Johnny taught Rupert everything#and was also his main reason to join the gov#but also what abt Dave#dave who is a crybaby and Rupert became his only interaction with other ppl until he fucked up#like god#i like the ships but i also like that kind of romance where things never get to pass completely rhe platonic phase#when one side lives in fucking fantasy while the other on reality#but this one that is in reality also lives on fantasy but one that has already been buried#like if you get it you get it#I love adding such type of angst to characters#rupert whats going on in that furious head of yours#dave whats going on in that anxious crybaby head of yours#Johnny.... you're dead right i forgor#and burt is just another sweet candy to the story like ough#i like thinking about him taking care of Dave and not pushin any confidence like giving time for Dave to see Burt is no danger#burt can be so cold yet so caring and warmth#oh god been talking with Saisk abt it like Burt would never acept having prisoners in the clan because it is human(stick?) cruelty
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“i would never lie to you.”
{toge inumaki x f!reader}
summary: inumaki’s always coming home to you from missions coughing up mass amounts of blood and completely overdoing it while fighting curses with his cursed speech technique. and no matter how many times you tell him to be careful, he just doesn’t, arguing with him, giving him the cold shoulder, and completely unaware of the reason behind why he fights so hard when he’s out there— that reason being of course… because of you.
warnings: angst, fluff, cursing, toge and reader have a lil argument but it’s more the aftermath, slight sexual mention but it’s literally once and nothing LOL, no smut!, toge thinks he’s not doing enough SNIFFF, angst with comfort, toge is DEVOTED to you, aged up characters, pet names, afab!reader.
word count: 2.3k
authors note: short n sweet one!! wanted to give you guys a break from my MLA format essays i always make y’all read LMFAOOO!! this one is SHO SOFT AHHHH :] i hope this keeps you guys fed in the meantime while i write the next one! i love you and i love you all ALWAYS MWAAHH <33
————————————————————————
toge inumaki hates it when you don’t talk to him.
as if he doesn’t do that enough already, toge absolutely despises when you both get into arguments or heated discussions and you turn a cold shoulder to him— needing space to unwind and prevent yourself from lashing out even more, to let the situation simmer down.
he understands it. believe him he does— you’re upset and angry and you need time to cool off… but toge is stubborn and needy and just doesn’t care, needing you and only you, him going absolutely crazy at the silence in your shared apartment that he was starting to hear random ringing in his ear drums.
so as he sat on the couch, eyes unblinking as they stared off into the darkness of the living room as the sun had already began to set, you upstairs locked away— he wanted nothing more than to open his mouth and let his cursed speech force you to come downstairs and talk to him.
but he didn’t, though the thought was definitely tempting, as toge vowed the day that he laid eyes on you to never ever use his cursed technique on you, even if it was harmless, an oath he wanted to carry with him until his very death bed and until he was six feet under.
his ears perked up then at the quiet sounds of the upstairs room door knob twisting and clicking open, soft padded footsteps making their way down the hall and closer to where he was, feet sticking against the cold tiles of the kitchen floor.
at the sight of you with your hair a little disheveled, your eyes so red and puffy, and an arm wrapped around yourself as you rummaged through the fridge looking for fuck knows what and not sparing a single glance at him— toge felt like a fifty pound gutting weight was resting on his chest and crushing his heart.
you had both argued about something you always seemed to circle back to almost every week. but this time, you were sick and tired and fed up, seeing as toge was never going to try and understand the situation at hand through your worried eyes.
every time toge was out for a mission, you would spend your days anxiously throwing yourself over the couch or trying to keep yourself busy with random activities like baking or scrapbooking (which you deemed later meaningless), all within the sole purpose of trying to get your mind off of your boyfriend and the recklessness he always seemed to pull while on missions, regardless of how much you begged and pleaded with him to be more careful and aware of his health.
toge inumaki had such a powerful and lethal cursed technique that frightened and astonished you all at the same time, a conflicting feeling to have when he had to leave you in the middle of the night or during the early hours of the morning to run around and fight curses… but always coming home to you warm and loving and safe.
but not right now.
not when toge had literally come home this morning with not even two steps in the door and he was already on his knees, coughing up strings and loads of crimson blood, it pooling on the floor as he had used his cursed speech to the highest degree today and had you a crying mess thinking he was dying.
and he always did that. always. today was just the worst of them all, him without a fault coming home with excruciating pain in his bruised and clawed up throat, the cough syrup medicine he usually downed like water having absolutely no effect anymore as you scrambled around every time trying to find a solution, toge brushing off your distressed and frightened rambling as if his health wasn’t a big deal, and as if how much it affected you wasn’t a big deal either.
upon you closing the fridge, toge slowly stood from the couch and carefully walked over to you, his throat still in pieces but his mind lurching and guilty over how upset you were at him.
he slowly raised a gentle hand and placed it on your shoulder, you shaking your head somberly in response— your back to him.
“i don’t wanna talk right now toge i’m sorry…” you mumbled, rubbing over your tired sore eyes.
he squeezed your shoulder, insisting.
but you only shook your head again.
toge huffed and placed both hands on your shoulders this time, physically turning you around to face him— his eyes soft and his eyebrows pinched together in pure concern for you.
you peeked up reluctantly, but the sight of his face and the events from earlier flashing through your mind only made your bottom lip wobble and the bottom of your palms shoot up to dig into your eyes, more stinging tears flooding in and slipping through the corners of your closed lids.
his heart fucking broke.
“why don’t you care toge?” you hiccuped. “i worry myself sick every time you leave for a mission and— and that’s fine because it’s what you do but you never take care of yourself!”
he gently pried your shaking hands away from your eyes and wiped your tears softly with his thumbs, caressing your cheeks after— wishing so badly, more than anything in this fucking world, to just be able to speak to you like a normal human being instead of resorting to words scrambled on a piece of paper or text messages on a screen.
he gently placed a little timid peck to your nose before releasing your face and fumbling around in his pockets for his phone, tapping it awake once he retrieved it and opening his notes app to write out a sentence.
he flipped and faced the screen towards you, the brightness making you squint a bit.
“i do care i swear. i just always forget when i’m in the middle of it and i’m sorry baby.”
“so you keep forgetting after what feels like the fifteenth time i’ve told you?” you wiped more tears from your cheeks. “how— how do you think it makes me feel when you come home and you’re coughing up blood all over your clothes and the furniture huh? all over me?”
he sighed softly through his nose and went to type again, but you continued.
“i get scared toge that one day you’ll push yourself way too far and then you just won’t come home. you scare me when you cough up so much blood like that!—”
toge tugged you in then with his unoccupied hand and wrapped his arms around you, pushing your head in and stuffing your face against his chest— the scent of his freshly washed t-shirt filling your nose as you cried softly.
fuck he felt like such a douche.
he typed for a moment behind your head, a pit in his stomach that only grew in size the longer he heard your little sniffles.
toge pulled back a bit, his arms still keeping you in place but just enough so that he could lower his phone and show you his message.
“please please don’t cry. i’m really sorry okay i really am and honest to god this won’t happen again.”
you nodded meekly and he flipped his phone back, quickly typing again and showing you once he finished.
“i feel like you think i don’t care but that’s not true at all. part of the reason why i try so hard when i work is because the more curses i fuck up the safer you’ll be when you’re out there without me.”
you laughed a bit at his wording, and he beamed at that, typing.
“i love you pretty girl. and im sorry i always get blood everywhere.”
“oh i don’t care about the mess baby, i care about youu,” you whined lightly and wrapped your arms around his torso, pulling him in tight.
“and i love you too, a lot… like an embarrassing amount that strips away my dignity.”
he chuckled boyishly and pressed a tender kiss to the top of your head, his body stuttering slightly as a single thought grazed his mind— the same thought that’s been in the crevices of his brain since he asked you to be his.
you felt his tension and pulled back.
“what?”
toge bit the inside of his cheek and looked down at you, his weight shifting as he contemplated telling you something he didn’t want to burden or upset you with, the pad of his thumb softly rubbing over your chubby cheek.
you quirked an eyebrow. “what? are you cheating on me?”
he burst out laughing and shook his head, kissing your forehead before dropping his hand from your cheek and pulling out his phone again.
he typed for a minute then showed you.
“me not being able to speak to you like a normal boyfriend should or respond to you whenever makes me freaking useless. so i push myself out there to keep you safe because that’s literally the least i can do for you, since i can’t even do the bare minimum.”
you gasped softly. “toge huh? this is—”
he shook his head once more and you stopped as he typed again.
“i always try to make you laugh with the things that i do or whenever i text you because i’m afraid that one day you’ll get tired of me not being able to talk to you and you’ll leave. which is also something i would never blame you for and understand.”
your heart squeezed in the worst excruciatingly way possible, completely baffled and mortified to the fact that toge was thinking about things like this and wholeheartedly believing it without you noticing or him saying anything to you about it.
he typed again.
“that’s why i cosplay as gojo when i leave for missions and come back a dumbass with blood in my mouth. that’s why i forget when you tell me to be careful because the need to be something for you is way fucking greater.”
“togeee!” you sobbed, bursting out crying like a little baby as you were moved and haunted by his words simultaneously, your arms engulfing him as he desperately shot his hands out and quickly wiped your tears again, shaking his head frantically as if pleading with you not to cry.
“how could you ever believe that?” you nudged him away and hiccuped, your eyes serious. “why haven’t you told me about this? everything you just said is literally propaganda.”
he chuckled, but you could tell he wasn’t convinced.
“toge, why do you think i’ve been with you for so long? do you think i’m just dicking around?”
“dicking around on my dick?”
you swatted his phone away. “no! not right now.”
you both shared a small giggle, twinkling eyes looking at each other.
“if i felt like you weren’t doing even the bare minimum, i would’ve been gone before you had the chance to put this ring on—”
his gaze drifted down to the black shiny heart promise ring on your ring finger that you held up for him, and he smiled softly.
“baby what you do for me everyday is above and beyond the bare minimum. i’m happy. i’m so happy to be with you that you not doing enough has never crossed my mind and it never will.”
you slid your arms around his neck and pulled him down a little, gently. “i’ve never cared about your ability to speak. i fell in love with you, who you are, and the fact that i did without you having to iterate words to me? olympic sport.”
toge rolled his eyes playfully at your comment, and you stood on your tippy toes and kissed the tip of his pretty nose then. “all men do when they talk is lie anyways…” you tilted your head. “but i know you’ll never lie to me.”
“never.” he mouthed silently.
he bundled you up in his arms and lifted you like you were nothing, him carefully leaning in and pressing his lips to yours as if you were a fragile little thing— kissing you so devotedly, warmly, his forehead resting against yours once he pulled apart after greedily getting his daily fix of you.
“i know your job as a jujutsu sorcerer pays the bills and comes with you putting yourself in difficult situations… and my job doesn’t even compare, but please don’t overdo it for my sake. i want you to come home, okay?”
you know it’s selfish… he should be saving lives no matter the cost.
but he was your man. was it so bad to just want to keep him for the rest of your days? to get the chance to grow old with him, and buy a little quiet house on the country side like you always joked about in the late hours of the night with him? drinking cool glasses of lemonade on the porch?
“please don’t always be the hero.” you whispered guiltily. “but if you must… just keep me in mind while you do it.”
you’re always on his mind. he hopes you know that.
toge breathed softly through his nose and smoothly set you back down, the pads of your feet making contact with the icy tile flooring as his hands dragged up from around your waist to the sides of your head, him pushing a hard kiss to your cheek as if to seal your request.
“do you promise?” you mumbled.
he pulled back and held his little pinky out for you, and you giggled, linking yours with his firmly.
“you can’t go back on it okay? you used your pinky it’s legally binding!” you warned, a silly smile on your face. “don’t lie to me and break it.”
toge grinned and leaned towards you as he bent down a bit— your gaze locking with his as he looked at you at eye level with his hands on his knees, him mouthing his next words, slowly.
words that made your cheeks buzz a cutesy pink, words that he took seriously, and words that tied you to him and the little house by the countryside he wanted so badly with you, as those words solidified how much he truly truly loved you— him hoping you always knew.
“i would never lie to you.” he mouthed.
taglist!! <33: @saebaey
#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#yuta okkotsu#gojo satoru#jjk fanfic#jjk x you#geto suguru#geto suguru x reader#gojo satoru x reader#jjk fluff#inumaki#inumaki toge#toge inumaki#toge inumaki x reader#toge inumaki x you#jjk x reader#jjk megumi#jjk geto#jjk gojo#jujustsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu toji#nanami kento x reader#choso kamo#megumi fushiguro#yuji itadori#jujutsu yuta#jujutsu kaisen megumi#jujutsu geto#jujutsu gojo#jujutsu nanami
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sleeping separately after an argument pt. 1
SFW
characters: luffy, zoro, usopp, and sanji x fem! reader summary: how the strawhat boys would react to you sleeping alone after an argument CW: mainly fluff, slight angst others: not proofread, lowercase intended, and pictures found on pinterest
—————
Monkey D. Luffy
luffy doesn't handle conflict well, especially not one with someone he cares deeply about. after the argument you guys had earlier, he would never suspected that you would sleep else where for the night.
at first, he would brush it off, thinking you just needed some space and that you would return to your shared room soon. but, as the night wore on, he'd find himself restless. constantly tossing and turning unable to lay as comfortably as before now that he was alone. luffy would eventually get up and wander over to your old room.
knowing him he’d poke your face (gently of course) while whispering, "hey, are you still mad at me?" his big eyes would reflect genuine concern and confusion. but because you were asleep you couldn’t respond, so he would get into your bed and curl up next to you, determined to be close even if you were still upset. you’d wake up the next day to a goofy grin and a sincere apology, as he was eager to make things right.
Roronoa Zoro
arguments with zoro are often intense but short-lived. so when you decide to sleep separately after a fight, zoro (like luffy) would be taken aback. however he, unlike luffy, would initially be too proud to go after you. so instead he’d brood silently, replaying the argument in his head while sharpening his swords.
you were the dramatic one. right?
as the night deepened, his stoic façade would crack, causing the gnawing sense of regret to seep in. he’d eventually get up, quietly making his way to your old room.
“babe?” his voice was uncharacteristically soft cautiously enters the room. after seeing your sleeping figure his demeanor immediately softens.
without a word, he'd lie down on the floor next to your bed, his presence a silent apology. he would wake up before you like usual but after breakfast he would pull you aside giving you a gruff but sincere apology, his actions speaking louder than his words.
God Ussop
usopp is sensitive and prone to overthinking. after any argument, he'd probably be filled with anxiety and self-doubt. which would worsen after you decide to sleep separately. he'd pace around, muttering to himself and crafting elaborate scenarios in his head of what this could mean.
is this it?
do you not love him anymore?
were you going to break up with him?
eventually, he'd muster the courage to approach you, armed with a heartfelt speech. ready to kneel beside you and pour his heart out with the promise to do better. but after walking to your old room and seeing you sleep so soundly his resolve would soften. not wanting to wake you he would leave telling himself that he’d apologize in the morning.
instead of going to bed though he would go to his factory deciding to make you a small gift to show his sincerity. he would place that along with a short an apology letter by your door. hoping to give you a better apology in the morning.
Vinsmoke Sanji
sanji would be devastated if you chose to sleep separately after an argument. unlike usopp, he wouldn’t overthink it. he knows you love him just needed some space. despite thinking that, he would never let you go to sleep upset especially not at him.
so he'd spend the majority of the night in the kitchen, preparing ingredients for tomorrow and making you a midnight snack.
with a tray of food on hand he’d softly knocks on the door of your old bedroom, his voice both gentle and cautious. “my love? i brought food. can i come in so we can talk?”
your lights were on so he knew you were up, after waiting for a minute or so he would let out a relieved sigh as you opened the door and making room for him to enter.
you guys would spend the rest of the night talking about your argument except this time with a much clearer head. once he knew that you both were on the same page he would bring you back to your share room to sleep.
—————
hi guys! thanks for reading, this is my first attempt at writing hc so idk if i did it right lol but it was fun!! i also have a couple more characters in my draft using this idea. i’ll post them if this does well (fingers crossed).
part 2 is posted!!
#op headcanons#monkey d. luffy#luffy x reader#usopp x reader#one piece x reader#roronoa zoro#god usopp#zoro x reader#vinsmoke sanji#sanji x reader#anime headcanons#one piece fanfiction#one piece headcanons#straw hat pirates#monster trio#one piece x you#one piece imagine#one piece x y/n#luffy x y/n#zoro x y/n#usopp x y/n#sanji x y/n#east blue boys#east blue crew#one piece x reader fluff#one piece fluff#op fanfic#fanfic
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When jjk characters call you ‘clingy’
Feat. crybaby-ish!reader
Gojo, geto, toji
Cw: hurt, guilt, angst (if you squint)
This is inspiration from a mini series i read a few days ago by user @fumekara. It was so good, I love me some angst to hurt/comfort.
But i also wrote this from personal experience too, my bad yall i treat this like my own personal diary
Anyway, enjoy!
Satoru Gojo
He was pissed. He doesn’t typically show it much, but when he does, he gets kind of scary. He’s more quiet, his voice gets deeper, and his whole body language just shifts. So when the higher-ups piss him off after a very long meeting, the last thing he needs is someone to pounce on him. He usually loves it when you greet him at the door when you’re home for work. But today, he just wanted to strip off his clothes and hop into bed.
Gojo huffs as he leaves the elevator of your shared apartment and grabs his keys from his pocket to unlock the door. As he opens the door, he sees you in the kitchen grabbing ingredients for dinner. “Hi baby,” You softly greeted him. “Hey.” was all he said back. It confused you for a second because he’s never greeted you like that before.
“Is everything okay?” You walk up to him to try to kiss him on his cheek. “God- Y/n, please.” He grumbled, walking right past you and placing his briefcase on the table. “I’m just trying to help,” you defended, walking up to take his coat off for him. “At least let me take your coat-” That’s when he snapped. Something he’s never done to you before. “Y/n, I fuckin’ got it! Geez, you’re so fucking clingy!” He aggressively shrugged your hands off his shoulder. It scared you a bit, to see him so angry at you. You were confused, all you wanted to do was make him feel better. Were you really that clingy?
“I-I’m sorry.” your voice came out shaky and defeated. Hearing how small your voice sounded in response to him lashing out made Satoru’s heart shatter into thousands of pieces. He wanted to turn around and apologize, but the words weren’t coming out. By the time he turned to face you, Your back was already facing him, preparing dinner for the both of you as tears rolled down your face.
Suguru Geto
It was 2 weeks after Suguru deflected. 2 weeks since he committed mass murder in that village. 2 weeks since he left Satoru, Shoko, and the others. It was weighing on him and you could tell. Nothing but him, his two adopted girls, a few people who believed in his cause, and you.
You promised him you would go wherever he would go, and he was so grateful for it. He loves you deeply and would do anything for you. But some days just threw everything on him at one time, today was one of those days. Monkeys non-sorcerers begging him to exercise curses left and right, Nanako and Mimiko begging him to take them shopping, missing payments from those begging for his service. It was all too much. And the guilt was eating away at him.
He genuinely wasn’t paying attention to what you were saying and it annoyed him how much talking you were doing in his ear at that moment. You were both sitting outside watching the two girls play in the yard. “Y/n,” He interrupted you. “Don’t you have something better to do than to just bother me?” He sighed sounding so condescending. “What do you mean?”
“Must you always cling to me? Isn’t there something else you can do besides following me everywhere I go, at all times of the day?!” His voice raised a bit as if he was talking to a non-sorcerer. “I didn’t realize I was. I was only trying to tell you about what me and the girls did today,” You defended. “You’re always so busy, I rarely get to see you anymore.”
“Yeah, because you’re always underneath me. Sometimes-” He stopped mid-sentence because of the saddened look on your face. His eyes softened a bit. “Sometimes I just need my space.” He sighed. You only nodded and started to walk back inside. “Ok, I understand.” Your voice cracked. Leaving Suguru alone to think about what he had just said to you. As if he didn’t feel guilt then, he definitely feels guilt now.
Toji Fushiguro
Toji was a bit frustrated today. He was cheated out of his money after doing a side job, the bet he placed on the race he kept constantly telling you about fell through, leaving him with zero, and to top it all off, the child support payment was coming up. You being an empath and knowing your boyfriend so well, you wanted to help him any way you could.
He was sitting in the chair by the island in the kitchen with his fingers combing through his hair. He was on the phone with multiple people at once, trying to solve his money issues. “Shiu, you guaranteed me way more money than this! How am I supposed to cover this months child support with this amount?!” You walked up to where he was, wondering what all the commotion was about. “Baby?” You softly called out. You could hear Shiu on the other line trying to calm him down and explain the situation.
“That sounds like a bunch of bull and you know it Shiu, you better have my money by next week thursday or else I’m taking it myself.” He grumbled and hung up the phone. “Baby,” You gently placed a hand on his broad shoulder.
“What, Y/n.” He sternly said. You merely blinked a few times. “I was just checking to see if you were okay. What’s with the attitude?”
“I’m fuckin’ frustrated okay? Please leave. You aren’t helping right now.” He waved you off.
“I barely did anything, I just wanted to know if you needed help with anything-”
“Jesus, I said enough! I don’t need your help. Fuck, you’re so clingy.” His voice booming caused you to remove your hand from his shoulder in fear. Seeing your reaction caused him to think about what he said and how he said it. The last think he wanted to do was scare you. He wanted you to feel safe around him. But with the way you jumped at how he raised his voice, it saddened him a bit.
“Y/n, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-” He was cut off by the sound of his child wailing in the background. “I’ll take care of it.” You said in the smallest voice, not even leaving him time to protest against it and apologize.
“Fuck.”
Part 2
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⚝ "oh shit you're crying okay"
Hazbin Hotel boys react to you crying at a party
Warnings : mentions of val. hate that motherfucker.
Genre : angst, comfort, fluff
A/n : bro I jump between fandom obsessions too much I need help. Why am I simping for THE DEVIL from THE BIBLE and A TV-HEAD MAN 😭😭 actually devastated with myself. Anyways Vox and Alastor's may be a bit longer because... yeah. Angel-Dust's is a friend relationship but you can interpret it differently if you are a dude lol
Characters : angel-dust, husk, alastor, vox, lucifer
▢ angel dust 𔘓
When he walked into the bathroom, he was shocked at first at the sight of you, feeling fear grip his heart.
Had Val got his hands on you when he was distracted? He would never forgive himself if he had-
"Toots, ya can't jus' go an' disappear on me like that," He began softly as he closed the bathroom door, locking it for privacy," had me tearin' out my hair."
You sniffed as you look up at him, eyebrows furrowed, cheeks swollen from tears," s-sorry..." you whimpered out, curling in on yourself a little more.
He grimaced at the dirty floor you were sitting on before maneuvering around you sit next to you, one of his arms pulling you into his side-embrace comfortingly.
"This party's fuckin' shitty, ain't it? Sorry for bringin' ya here, doll." He sighed out, hand caressing your side softly.
You had to bite your tongue to stop yourself from sobbing as you shook your head vehemently," i-it's not that, Angel... you were only trying to cheer me up..." you furiously wiped at your eyes to stop more tears from falling," I just-... Fucking hate everything down here..."
He hummed, head leaning on top of yours," cheers to that." He droned out with a frown.
You looked up at him, his heart squeezing at the innocent look on your face. You weren't supposed to be down in a place like this, there was no way.
"Can we just... go get ice cream or something?" You then gulped, waving a hand," b-but if you're having fun-"
"Nah. I'd rather do one of Charlie's trust exercises than be in this shit-hole." He stood up smoothly and pulled you with him, keeping you close to him as he grinned toothily," I would kill for an ice cream right now."
▢ alastor ⍋
He didn't willingly want to be here, in fact he stayed for a total of 15 minutes to please Charlie before escaping outside to leave.
But the sight of you sitting on the steps outside sniffling to yourself made him pause in his long strides.
You had your head hung low, a red plastic cup sitting at your side alone.
You were prime for manipulation.
But... Alastor found himself being sympathetic. He breathed out a sigh before walking over to you," my, what do we have here? My dear, being out in the open in such a vulnerable state is a bold choice!" He exclaimed, grinning down at you, but it wasn't as sharp as it usually was.
You jumped at his sudden presence," Jesus-!" You looked up.
"Not quite!"
You seemed to relax at the sight of the red-haired demon and sighed in relief," Alastor..." you gave him a weak smile, wiping away at your tears," Wh-what brings you out here, huh? Needed fresh air?"
He sat down on the steps with you," As a matter of fact, I was planning my great escape from this wretched event!" He tilted his head at you, hair falling along with him as he regarded you with a knowing glint in his eyes," I believe you're well acquainted with the feeling, hmm?"
Your smile fell as you huffed, deciding it was useless to keep up a happy persona around Alastor when he was so good at reading right through you," You could say that."
"What bothers you so, my dear?" He gave you a closed-eyed smile, tugging at your cheek like an annoying auntie would do," perhaps your favourite radio demon can be of service to you."
He earned a giggle from you as you waved his hand away amusedly, making his expression soften at the sound.
"You're the only radio demon I know." You raised a brow at him in amusement.
He nodded with an exageratted shrug," I wouldn't have it any other way, dear."
You smiled genuinely at him, feeling your worries already disappearing," parties suck." You answered his previous question.
"Aha!" His smile looked like a grimace and his fluffy ears flattened as if an unpleasant memory was reminded to him," agreed."
"They're gross."
"Tell me about it!"
"And the people in it make me want to kill myself. Again."
He snapped his fingers at you," I knew we had something in common! Well-said, cher, very well-said~!" He pressed a hand to his heart - as if he had one.
As you laughed, your tears dried up and you leaned back a little," as for you being of service?..." You trailed off, referring back to his earlier inquiry. A soft smile made its way to your lips," I think you've helped enough already, Al."
The red demon's posture seemed to stiffen but relax, his grin curving gently which was his way of softening it," Wonderful to hear, my dear."
He gave you a gentle pat to the shoulder and you had never felt so comforted in that moment.
▢ husk ꩜
Before even attending the party, he knew something was up with you. You weren't smiling as much on the way there, and you were jumpy at his comforting touches.
Even so, you insited that you wanted to spend time with everyone at the party despite his assurances that you could stay home.
When he found you crying in the bathroom, he froze in his spot before grumbling to himself and closing the door behind him, not before giving a growl and a deadly glare at the demon that was whining about needing a piss.
He led you gently from the ground to a standing position before settling you on the toilet seat.
The silence between you both was soft and comforting, hanging in the air like a gentle caress of wind.
He got down on his knees in front of you and began to wipe away at your tears, a deep frown settled on his face.
You only stared into his eyes with your glassy ones, bottom lip trembling," my makeup probably looks so fucking gross..." you sobbed.
Husk snorted," should be the least of your worries, doll." When you finally stopped crying he huffed and flicked your forehead," you have some serious FOMO." He grumbled out, an amused smirk on his fluffy face.
You sniffled and nodded, choking back more tears," I know."
"And you need to know when to stop if you're uncomfortable."
You nodded again," I know.."
His brows furrowed," and you still look pretty with your makeup running down your face." His reassurance was sweet and charming despite the disgruntled expression on his face.
A watery smile broke onto your lips,"... Thank you." You breathed out softly.
"Wanna get the fuck outta here? There's a nice bar I know a few blocks away we could drink at. Just the two of us."
You hummed," Sounds awesome."
▢ vox ᯤ
When he agreed to go to this stupid party for Val, he wasn't expecting to run into something like this.
His greatest enemy, you, was sat outside with your head in your hands as you sobbed and cursed to yourself.
To be honest he was torn between making fun of you or just taking advantage of the situation and killing you.
But there was that little voice in the back of his coding that screamed to comfort you.
He groaned and ran his hands down his face," fuck my life fuck my life fuck my life..." He muttered to himself as he walked over to you.
He stood behind you and watched as you paused to look up at him, face puffy and pathetic.
He grinned wryly at the sight," Holy shit you're an ugly crier." He stated without thinking.
Your wide eyes turned half-lidded as you turned your attention away from him," Go fuck yourself, Vox. I'm not in the mood for your whiny baby shit." You grumbled out.
"Hey, hey. Whiny baby is too far, sweetheart. Take the insults down a few notches, yeah?" He then sat down next to you," treating me like this when about to comfort you. The fuckin' nerve of you."
You gave him a deadly glare, growling," Vox, leave. I told you I'm not in the fucking m-" you were interrupted by being pulled into a sudden embrace, making you shut up immediately.
There was a long awkward silence as you were pulled into Vox's side in a side-hug.
Then you spoke with a small voice,"... what is this." Was more of a demand than a question.
"Comfort." Vox replied casually when he was fucking sweating buckets.
"........ huh...." you bit your lip as you felt tears sting at your eyes,"... alright."
You leaned into him unknowingly, making him gush a little to himself. Why the fuck was he being soft right now? He didn't know.
"You looked hot tonight. All dolled up." He gritted out.
"Yeah? Looked? Past-tense?"
He nodded," you look like a wet-rag now."
You snorted," fuck you, man." You grumbled, and leaned your head onto his shoulder," fuck, I'm pathetic..."
"Yeah. But it's okay." He replied as comfortingly as he could but it just came out awkwardly," y'know parties are supposed to be fun? Why are you crying?"
"I hate my life? Or lack thereof?"
He hummed with a nod," Fair enough." Then he smiled widely," guess we have one thing in common, huh?"
You looked up at him before you sent him a slightly amused smirk," do we?"
He cleared his throat at your expression and looked away quickly, blush on his screen,"I-I mean.. yeah. Fucking sucks down here. Literal shit hole." Then he shrugged, trying to brush off the stutter of his heart," but... but at least you're not like... alone or whatever the fuck."
You stared for a moment, eyes softening as you nodded in agreement,"... Yeah. At least there's that, huh?"
You leaned back into his embrace with less tension in your body as Vox began to relax alongside you.
▢ lucifer morningstar ⚝
He came to this party just to make a brief appearance for his daughter's celebration of the hotel being rebuilt to be honest.
But he took quick note of how you had left very suddenly, mumbling to him about needing to take a breather outside. He was worried, of course, but he just left you in your lonesome until he got worried when you didn't return for 20 minutes.
When he walked outside onto the balcony of the hotel his eyes widened in horror at the sigh of you sobbing to yourself.
"Oh shit you're crying okay ummm," He walked over to you quickly, playing with his fingers awkwardly," Honey is everything okay? Do...do you need a hug?"
"Shit... sorry..." you mumbled looking up at him ashamedly from the floor, smiling pathetically as tears trailed down your cheeks," I.. I'm sorry you have to see me like this..."
He frowned deeply, his nervousness subsiding as he crouched down in front of you," Don't apologise for something so silly." He mumbled, grabbing on your hand and gently squeezing," what's wrong? Is it something I can help with?"
His concern was incredibly sweet and touching, not something you would expect from the King of Hell.
But here he was comforting you like you were the most precious treasure to him. And you were... aside from Charlie, for obvious reasons.
You sniffled and felt your tears gathering again at his concern, you bottom lip trembling. At the sight, he frowned," Oh, love... oh honey..." He brought you into a hug, arms wrapping securely around you as he let his wings embrace you as well," I'm here now... always will be..."
You nodded against him as you just cried your heart out.
#lucifer x reader#lucifer hazbin x reader#alastor x reader#hazbin hotel x reader#husk x reader#vox x reader#angel dust x reader#alastor x you#alastor x y/n#vox x you#vox x y/n#lucifer x you#lucifer x y/n#angel dust x you#angel dust x y/n#husk x you#husk x y/n
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A multi-headcanon request please. How the boys react when they discover their s/o has been hiding a wound from them because she had it under control and didn't want to give them something else to worry about
Hi! Thanks so much for the request and all the support! Have written a little fic for each of the guys, starring... - Xavier, Deepspace Hunter extraordinaire ✨ - Linkon's worst best baking partner, Zayne 🍪 - Drama queen Rafayel 👑 - King of self-care, Sylus 💅
Putting On A Brave Face
L&DS Boys x Reader
Summary: Sometimes, a certain hunter likes to say things are fine when they definitely aren't...
Genre: A lil bit of angst, mostly fluff + comfort!
Warnings/Additional tags: female reader, established relationship, swearing, canon pet names, some injury details/blood mentioned, teeeeency bit of suggestion (I'm looking at YOU, Sylus...)
| Word count: 4k (1k each!) | Masterlist | Opt-in to my taglist here!
Disclaimer: Characters belong to Love and Deepspace. All work is my own, so please don't repost or plagiarise!
Xavier ⭐
This is bad. Not ‘end of everything as we know it’ bad, but definitely ‘an obscene amount of paperwork’ bad.
You clutch one of your pistols to your chest— deep breath— and you listen carefully, your head leant back against the rock you’re using as cover. Your mind latches on to every sound: each growl, each rumble of earth that marks the movements of the Wanderers that have trapped you here.
You’ve fought worse odds, but then again, you don’t usually have to do it with a broken leg.
Or maybe just sprained? You shift a little, trying to move, and the pain that sears through you settles the debate in an instant. Your teeth sink into the back of your hand to keep you from crying out.
You hope Xavier’s ok. You sent him your co-ordinates minutes ago, and the lack of response has worry gnawing away at the deepest parts of you. You check your hunter’s watch.
Still nothing.
Another deep breath, and you readjust your position as much as you can. Balancing on your good leg, you manage to peer over the top of the rock to get a visual of your surroundings.
There’s four, no— five Wanderers. Stupid no-hunt zone; you’re never not outnumbered.
You can see your second pistol, abandoned in the middle of the clearing where you’d dropped it. There’s flickers of movement, too: further in the woods. More Wanderers. Shit.
You duck behind the rock you’re starting to think might be your new home. Then your watch flickers, broadcasting a map of the area, and there’s the co-ordinates of another hunter, closing in fast.
Something flashes in the clearing, lighting the dark of the forest like a stutter of lightning. Then again. Then again. There’s a blood-curdling roar, and it ends— abrupt— with another flash.
Everything goes silent, save for a familiar voice calling your name.
“Xavier!” you call back.
You peek over the rock to see your partner jogging towards you, dead Wanderers littered behind him. “Are you alright?” he asks, his voice soft as always, but his sword is still dripping blood.
“I’m ok.” You clamber up, using the rock as a seat when the small effort almost breaks you. “You?”
Xavier draws close— his gloved hands on your face, cupping your cheeks. His thumb grazes over a shallow scrape on your brow. “Yeah,” he answers.
“Did you find that weird Wanderer?”
He shakes his head: no. Steps back to check his watch. “It’s probably moved on to a different zone by now.”
“Then we should look for it,” you say, standing up. All of your weight is on one leg.
“Ah,” Xavier ponders, rubbing his neck, “really? I thought we should maybe head back.”
“No need.” And what’s the plan here, exactly? You can’t walk. You definitely can’t fight. Maybe you can wait here while he— no. He’s never going to leave you. “I told you I’m ok.”
“But you’re not.”
“I am,” you assert. You’re determined to convince him and your own, useless body. It’s just a sprain. It is just a sprain. You take a step forwards and stumble, your bad leg crumpling beneath you.
Xavier catches you, strong and solid, and he's holding you like you’re something delicate. He sets you down on the rock again. The pain is making your vision swim.
“You’re hurt,” he reasons gently, even though the truth of it is a knife that’s twisting in your heart. He seems to sense your reluctance: “There’s no shame in admitting that. It happens. Let’s go back.”
“No.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m slowing you down, Xavier!” you gush. Your heart is split open and it has to bleed somewhere. “You have no idea what it’s like… being your partner.”
He’s looking at you with so much guilt and gods, you wish that somewhere was anywhere but his hands. “What do you mean?” he asks on a shaky breath.
“I love working with you.” Soften the blow. “I love being with you, but you don’t need me. You’re this incredible hunter. This figure of legend, of everyone’s stories. You can do so much on your own and I just don’t know how to keep up. I mean, look at me— I can’t.”
You feel sick. Empty. “You shouldn’t have to hang back for me,” you finish limply. “You’re you, Xavier. You can fight like a hundred Wanderers and still come out unscathed.”
The blue of Xavier’s eyes has grown understandably more turbulent, though it settles a little. He seems to relax. “Yeah… about that,” he mumbles hesitantly.
He turns around and your mouth drops. A savage cut drapes like a crimson sash down his back, splitting the white of his uniform. It’s not deep enough to be fatal, but it’s not good, either.
“Wha— Xavier!” you exclaim, trying to surge forwards, but your pain keeps you rooted. “You said you were ok!”
“So did you,” he frowns, bewildered. “Can we get out of—”
“Yeah, yeah.” You let him take your arm and help you to your feet.
He leads you through the clearing and into the forest, supporting your weight as you hop along beside him. There’s a murmur about how he should carry you, but you’re quick to reassure him he’s doing enough. You’re both hurting; you both just need to survive the short walk out of the no-hunt zone, where a med team can take over.
“You don’t slow me down, you know,” Xavier says quietly, after a minute of silence. “You’re the reason I can keep going.”
You squeeze his arm affectionately, mustering a smile even though you’re nauseous with pain and the idea that he’s been dwelling on your speech this whole time. “Well,” you chuckle through gritted teeth, “you’re gonna have to learn how to get by without me.”
“Huh?” He gives you a curious look.
You glance down at your leg. “Zayne’s gonna kill me...”
Zayne ❄
“I’m a doctor.”
You stop what you’re doing to fix Zayne with a questioning stare. “Ok…?”
“I’ve published dozens of research papers. Pioneered new surgical techniques. My work on Evol-based regenerative properties still has lasting implications for my field, and I’ve the accolades to show for it. The Starcatcher Award. The Linde Award, too— I was the youngest ever recipient.”
None of this is news to you, and you can’t help chuckling at this change in your usually-humble physician. You humour him: “The youngest ever recipient, huh?” There’s a crack as you split an egg on the side of the bowl in front of you. “That’s very impressive.”
“Is it?”
Zayne stands from his seat at your kitchen table: you hear the chair draw back. You feel his presence arrive behind you as you continue to stir your soon-to-be cookie dough. “Yeah,” you lilt with a smile.
“Really?” he pushes again, and his arms wrap around you as he bends to speak into your ear. “Because someone seems to think I can’t even recognise a—” he nips at it— “sprained ankle.”
His breath is warm on your neck and you let out a giggle. “Keep speaking to me like that and these cookies are never making it into the oven. Or your stomach.”
The man relents. He releases you, not returning to his seat but opting to lean against the kitchen counter instead. You glance up at him; he stares back, waiting for an actual answer.
“My ankle is fine, Zayne.”
There’s a sigh as he crosses his arms.
“It is,” you insist, even though you did sprain your ankle at work today, it does hurt like hell, and you do just want to sit down. You reach for the flour you’d measured out previously, tipping it into the larger bowl. “If it wasn’t, would I really be here— making you cookies?”
“Yes,” he says plainly.
“You’re delusional.”
“Ok.”
Well, that was a little too easy. Don’t overthink it, and definitely don’t read into the fact that he’s standing there oh-so-smugly, like he knows something you don’t. You finish stirring the flour into the mixture, then add the last of the ingredients. Just a pinch of salt, and then…
Where did you put the chocolate chips? You glance about yourself but they’re nowhere in sight. “Hey, Zayne? Have you seen the—”
“This cupboard,” he indicates with an upwards nod of his head. His eyes are relentless. “Top shelf.”
Ah. That’s ok. You’ve totally got this. You move beneath the cupboard, opening it and gazing up into the contents. You can see the pack of chocolate chips. You can get up there somehow, right?
“Would you like me to—” Zayne starts, but you cut him off:
“Nope.” You put your hands on your hips. “Please— if I can climb the back of an alive, awake, and very angry deluge wyrmlord to put a sword through its skull, I think I can make it onto the kitchen counter in one piece. Lemme just…”
Your knee lifts. You make it about a centimetre from the floor before Zayne’s hands are on your waist, grounding you. “Stop,” he instructs, and it's not a tone that allows for any rebuttal. Satisfied by your silence, he brings the chocolate chips down to you.
“Thanks,” you say quietly as they’re placed on the counter.
“You’re welcome."
Sheepishly, you spill a generous amount of chocolate chips into the cookie mixture. Your throat hurts in the way that keeps you from saying anything more. You already feel like an idiot, and your eyes are watering, threatening to make you look like even more of one.
Zayne’s hand appears in front of you, hovering over the bowl. You laugh in understanding: giving the half-empty bag another shake so chocolate chips fall into his palm.
“You… don’t have to explain yourself,” he says as he lifts them to his mouth. His next words are muffled: “But you can tell me anything, my love. I never want you to feel as though you can’t.”
You chuckle again; you can’t help yourself. Look at him: your oh-so-serious doctor shovelling chocolate into his mouth. He raises an eyebrow at you, his lips still on his palm.
“I know I can tell you anything,” you smile, the ache in your throat receding, however much the rest of you hurts. “I did sprain my ankle. It’s not that I wanted to hide it from you, it’s just—” you stop stirring the mixture— “it’s just that your whole life is taking care of people at the hospital. You should get a break from it. You should get to be Zayne, here… at home. Just Zayne, not Doctor Zayne.”
Zayne’s hazel eyes have taken on a hue of regret. He pushes his glasses further up the bridge of his nose, buying himself a few seconds as he contemplates. “Are you a doctor?” he asks after a moment.
“No?”
“And yet, here you are, taking care of me.” He reaches for the abandoned packet of chocolate chips. “Tell me, does it feel like work to you?”
“Yeah,” you tease, drawing the packet away from his stretching fingers in explanation; you’re both grinning.
“Well, it never feels like work to me. Just Zayne likes taking care of you. And right now? He wants to bundle you up on the sofa and finish these cookies for you.”
You purse your lips: that’s some dubious wording. “Zayne, hell will freeze over before I leave you and this cookie dough unsupervised.”
He shushes you, pulling on the cord of your apron until the bow at your back comes loose. Before you can protest, he’s wearing the apron himself.
“Zayne, I’m not kidding. I know what you’re gonna do. You’re gonna get rid of me, and then you’ll—”
“Shh,” he coos again, whisking you carefully off your feet, because it’s time for a taste of your own medicine. “You’re delusional.”
Rafayel 🔥
“Mmhmm. Mmhmm.”
“Raf, who are you—”
He holds out a finger to shush you. “Mmhmm.”
You cross your arms impatiently. Who is he even talking to, anyway? His lilac eyes are locked on you as he continues humming away, apparently very invested in whatever the person on the phone is saying; you’ve never seen him go this long without talking.
He narrows his eyes at you. You narrow your eyes right back.
All around you, guests of the exhibition are milling about, all dressed to the nines and minding their business, however much they want the attention of the man in front of you. A few of them linger as they pass him, like they want to say something, like they’re going to say something…
But they don’t.
It’s a wonder that Rafayel stands out in the crowd as much as he does. You’d seamlessly located him, back from your third trip to the bathroom to check on the bandages you’ve managed to conceal beneath this dress. He’s still holding your purse for you, his phone in his other hand, except—
That’s your phone. That’s your phone! “Rafayel!”
He shushes you again. “I understand,” he says solemnly, notably not to you, “thanks for letting me know.” The call is ended. He takes a deep, collected breath, then looks at you. “I knew it!”
“Knew what? Who was that?”
“Zayne.”
“You called Zayne?”
“Like I had a choice!” Rafayel retaliates. It is true; he’s spent the entire evening trying to get you to admit something was wrong, and you had no intention of giving him that pleasure. “You’re supposed to be in the hospital! What kind of idiot breaks out of the hospital?”
The lack of irony in the question almost breaks you. “Umm… you?! Like every other week?!”
He shrugs. “That’s different.”
“Rafayel, I swear, I’m gonna— ah!” you gasp in pain. You’d stepped forwards too quickly— maybe to strangle him, but that’s neither here nor there— and the wound on your side is clearly on his side. It stings like hell: punishing you, and you know the pain is self-inflicted.
Rafayel frowns in concern, maybe even guilt, and that’s why you didn’t tell him. “C’mon, we should go,” he insists gravely.
“It’s fine, Raf. It doesn’t even—”
“Stop lying! You said you wouldn’t hide stuff like this from me. You promised, remember?”
You’re losing track of all the promises you’ve made to the Lemurian, but you do remember that one. Guilt has its teeth in you, too. “I know,” you grumble, “I’m sorry, ok? I just knew—”
“What?”
“That you’d act like this! You’ve been working on this exhibition for months, Raf. Tonight is supposed to be about you. Not me— you. And I want it to stay that way. Everyone’s here to celebrate you and your work, and that’s how it should be. That’s what I want. To support you. To be here for you.”
Your voice has gone timid. You finish meekly: “Can’t you let me do this for you? Please?”
Rafayel’s eyes are wide and still the prettiest things you’ve ever seen, even in a room full of masterpieces and jewels you could never afford. They shine with uncertainty, but soften as he smiles, full of fondness and affection. “That’s sweet. But also? Really dumb.”
“Raf—”
“The only— and I mean only— reason I’m here tonight is because you are. I don’t care about what anyone thinks about me or my paintings. Just you. And you can see this?” He gestures around the gallery. “Anytime. My life’s your private exhibition, cutie. Exclusive access, 24/7, and I wouldn’t want it any other way.”
He steps closer to you: close enough that he can see the tear that’s made it halfway down your cheek. He wipes it away with a chuckle. “Plus,” he adds, “I know you know I’m amazing. You don’t need these old sourpusses to tell you that, do you?”
You laugh tentatively. “No, I don’t.”
Your injury protests as you use the lapels on Rafayel’s blazer to pull him closer; you have to stand on your tiptoes to kiss his cheek. He’s still grinning as he draws away, a light blush on his cheeks, but the sweetness of the moment vanishes as his gaze drifts lower.
“My eyes are up here, Rafayel.”
“Yeah…” he concedes mindlessly, but then he points: “you know you’re like, bleeding, right?”
You glance downwards to where the red of your dress is turning darker. There’s just a small splotch, but it’s growing. Shit. You must have reopened the wound.
“Thomas?” you hear Rafayel call, and then he’s stuffing a silk handkerchief into your hands— helping you apply pressure. “We have to get out of here,” he explains as a figure joins you.
His agent folds his arms; this is not dissimilar to stunts you and Rafayel have pulled before. “Fake blood, guys? Really?” He pinches the bridge of his nose. “You can’t leave, Rafayel. I can just see the headlines tomorrow…”
“Dashing artist selflessly flees exhibition to save devoted bodyguard,” Rafayel concurs with a nod.
Thomas groans. “That’s not what they’re going to—”
“Help me out with this, cutie?”
“Yes, sir,” you mock salute.
A moment later, Rafayel has scooped you up into his arms. Your hero; he gives you a conspiratorial wink before glancing about frantically. “Quickly!” he cries out. “Everyone out of the way, please!”
“For the love of—” Thomas starts.
“Oh, gods!” you shout in agony. “It hurts. It hurts!”
Heads turn. Cameras flash.
Tomorrow morning, half of Linkon will be talking about one of their favourite celebrities and his long-envied bodyguard. A news article will pop-up on her doctor’s phone, and he’ll see the pictures and sigh.
Sylus 🩸
“It’s not too late to back down, sweetie,” Sylus sneers.
“Aw, but you got all dressed up for the occasion.”
Your eyes rake over the outline of the man’s abs, courtesy of the tank top he’s wearing, and it does take the sting out of the fact that he’ll be trying to hit you. He holds his wrapped hands before him, ready to defend, ready to attack. He’ll probably attack, right?
“Last chance,” he growls.
“Is it, though?” This is the third ‘last chance’ you’ve been given in the five minutes you’ve been teetering on combat. You beckon him with a curl of your fingers. “Come on, Sylus. This is getting old.”
He scoffs: “How do you think I feel?”
“Like you’re about to get your ass kicked?”
“Alright, enough.” His hands drop and it feels like you’re back at the academy, about to be scolded for not taking something seriously. Sylus turns his back on you. Moves to the edge of the boxing ring so he can retrieve a stool from outside of it and sit down in a huff. He starts peeling the wraps from his knuckles, and— wait, is he mad? Like, actually mad?
“What’s wrong, Sy?”
He laughs as though you’re missing something dreadfully obvious. Maybe irony.
“Sylus?”
“You really are heartless, sweetie. You know that?”
The words steal your breath away, if only for a moment. Yours is a relationship of pulled punches, but he won’t meet your gaze and that one was real, wasn’t it? He wanted it to sting. “Why—”
“I could have hurt you,” he snaps, his dishevelled, snowy hair falling to cover his eyes. His discarded wraps slide from his hands, pooling by his feet like blood. “You were going to let me hurt you.”
He looks at you, finally, but it’s not in the way you want. His gaze is cast low, trailing over your body and making you feel every bruise, every closed cut that wants to reopen and every ache, rooted almost to bone. You’d done your best to hide it, even going so far as to press make-up hastily over your purpled skin.
That Wanderer really did a number on you yesterday.
“You should have told me,” Sylus says, since you’ve made it onto the same page. “Honestly, kitten. Why would you—”
“Because Luke and Kieran told me, ok?”
Oh, they’re going to kill you. It was supposed to be a secret, and here you are, spilling like a fresh wound because you can’t stand the thought of Sylus being upset with you. You step closer, scrambling to dissect what you’ve done right in front of his eyes— holding it out to him: this is why. This is why. “They said you had a rough week. Some deals of yours had fallen through or something. And I’ve been too busy. I haven’t called, I haven’t even texted, and…”
You need him to understand, but the truth is a mess in your hands and how do you even start to explain it to him?
“You wanted to do something for me,” he finishes for you, and you don’t have to explain a thing.
“Yeah…” you confirm, bittersweet and still sad. “You do so much for me, Sylus. I just wanted to do what you wanted, for a change.”
Maybe it’s a round of boxing. Maybe it’s a dozen illicit dealings where he needs you to play enforcer— it doesn’t matter. As long as he’s happy.
“Come here,” he orders gently.
You close the rest of the rift between you, letting him reach for you and pull you closer. His knees have spread so you can slot against him, and his arms circle around you— trapping you— as he nuzzles into the warmth of your stomach.
“I’m sorry I called you heartless,” he speaks into you, his voice muffled as he gives you a chaste kiss. He then cranes his head upwards, resting his chin against you so he can profess more clearly: “I do worry about you, kitten.”
“I know—” your hands move to his head— “I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have lied to you.”
“Mmm,” he hums in accordance, maybe even forgiveness, and his eyes close as your fingers card through the soft of his hair. “I lied too.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” he confesses on a contented sigh. “I didn’t want to spend today… boxing.”
“What do you want to do today, Sy?”
His eyes flicker open and his hands find your hips. “What I really want…” he contemplates, as his thumbs slip under the hem of your shirt to rub circles on your skin, “is to take care of you.”
There are lifetimes of need in his gaze.
“Won’t you let me take care of you, sweetie?”
…
“If he finds the terms so disagreeable, then he’s more than welcome to take his business elsewhere. Although—” Sylus’s voice is cold— “he might find his other options less… amenable than when he saw them last. Less communicative, too. You can tell him I said so.”
He ends the phone call. Smiles. “Sorry about that, sweetie.”
“Are the boys ok?”
The smile widens, even though you can’t see it. “They’re fine.”
Phone set aside, Sylus carries on with the important business Kieran’s call had distracted him from. You’re half asleep, your head in his lap as he brushes your hair: rose-scented and soft from the bath he’d drawn for you, hours ago. Every bandage is fresh and clean. Every ache has been dulled with a lazy massage and more chaste kisses, for good measure.
“Perfect day,” you mumble blissfully.
“Perfect day,” Sylus agrees.
#🖋rach is actually writing#xavier x reader#zayne x reader#rafayel x reader#sylus x reader#love and deepspace#lads x reader#lads x mc#shen xinghui#li shen#qi yu#qin che#lads#lnds#l&ds
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Do You Miss Us?
Five Hargreeves x F!Reader - angst with a happy ending (yeah… happy ish ending)
synopsis: when you find out Five and Lila kissed, you don’t know what to feel. All you know is that you need to get away. Because it was one thing for them to kiss, and another to realize that in the time spent apart, Five Hargreeves may not love you anymore.
content/warnings: hints of anxiety, curse words, cheating, s4 spoilers, mentions of disassociation, morally grey characters, not lore accurate, not really canon, doesn’t focus on the plot moreso reader & fives relationship, lmk if i forgot anything
“Y/n, please,”
you continue walking, wiping away the incessant tears that stream down your face. you feel nauseas, and your chest hurts in a way that it pains you to breathe.
he catches your wrist in his hand, and you turn around, angered. “What? What could you possibly say that would make this better, Five?”
he looks distraught, if not more than you and the thought has your hands shaking in fury. for what reason did he have to be so upset? you weren’t the one who disappeared for a few hours - which ended up being seven years - and then kissed another person.
“I fucked up, I didn’t… You don’t understand, I was losing my mind.” he slips his hand from your wrist to intertwine your fingers, but you shake his grip off in disgust. he looks at you so brokenly at the action, you almost feel bad.
but then you remember her, and you feel the bile rise to your throat once more. “I don’t understand?” you say slowly, taking a step forward.
you point at him, “I think you’re the one who doesn’t understand. I knew some shit was going on between you two, with your secrets and odd glances. But I trusted you, Five. You know why?”
he looks at you with wide eyes, seeming almost unsettled by your outburst. “Because I loved you.” you whisper.
you huff out a laugh, shaking your head as you wipe the remnants of your tears. “But that didn’t matter in the end. You were alone with her for seven years, so it makes sense. I wish you nothing but happiness, Five. Even if it’s away from me.”
you turn, moving to walk again, but he crashes into you from behind and wraps his arms around you. “Please,” his hands are trembling where they rest on your stomach, and although you want to soothe him, you don’t think you are in the place to at the moment.
you take a shaky deep breath, before carefully untangling his hands from your torso. he whimpers pitifully at the action, and you have to stop yourself from giving in and drawing him closer.
you used to bring him comfort, give him love and make him feel safe; but it seemed it was not enough; because in the end he chose someone else.
you turn back around, “I need some time alone right now, Five.” you tug at your bottom lip with your teeth, ripping the skin. you don’t want to look at his face, so you choose to stare at the chipped paint on the wall.
Five lifts his hand for a moment, before dropping it. “Will you come back?” his voice has never sounded so childlike; as though he can’t bear the thought of you leaving and never coming back.
you swallow harshly, “I’ll come back.”
he nods, his own arms wrapping around himself.
“I just don’t know if it will be for you.”
you take a chance and glance at his face, hating the way your heart hurts when his expression crumples.
back in the room, you were so sure he was in love with Lila, but now you’re starting to doubt yourself. because if he truly felt something for her, would he really be crying in front of you right now?
you don’t know. you also don’t feel like you have it in you to make any assumptions.
you turn around, your back facing Five. “I’ll see you later. Don’t follow me.”
and with that, you walk out of Five’s life, unknowingly carrying his heart with you.
-
Five lays in a bed - not his, for years it’s never been his - and recounts the last seven years.
he remembers missing you immensely in the beginning. for the first three years, you were all he could think about.
and then his friendship with Lila began to grow. the time he wished to spend with you, he was now spending with her. it was odd at first, because the two were not close friends of any sort. but when you’re trapped in a different time-line, or different universe, you become allies with those you normally wouldn’t.
somewhere along the way, they had provided one another with the comfort they lacked from their significant others.
it wasn’t supposed to end up that way. it wasn’t.
but now Five can’t get the way you looked at him out of his head; it was like he physically shot you in the chest, or told you he didn’t love you. like he betrayed you.
he grasps at his own chest, curling up into a ball beneath the covers. he feels like he’s going to die.
and maybe that would be for the best. he’s lived a long, torturous life. with a nut-job for a father, siblings that were always thinking about themselves and a lover who he’d ruined everything with, what was the point of life anymore?
its been a month since Five had seen you, and the ache in his chest has yet to go away. he couldn’t find it in himself to eat, often laying in bed as Luther force-fed food down his throat in fear that he would truly pass away.
it’s just another late night, and Five takes the time to stare at the broken glass window as the sun begins to set. the only sound in the room comes from the clock, the constant ticks helping him disassociate and think about you.
he distantly hears the door creak open, but is too exhausted to look at who it is. he doesn’t really care anyway, because he knows it’s not going to be you.
“Five?”
he blinks slowly. it almost sounded like you, but he figured he was hearing things at this point.
“Five,” he feels a hand smooth over his shoulder. gentle in a way he’d only ever experienced with you. his head turns, if only slightly, and he catches sight of your concerned face.
his eyes widen, he forces himself to sit up even if his arms have little to no strength left. “What are you… what are you doing here?” he croaks.
you sigh, sitting on the edge of the bed. it’s far too away from Five, he wants to pull you in the bed and bring you into his arms.
“Should I leave?” you glance at the door for a second, but Five immediately grabs onto your hands and shouts, “No! No, please. Please stay.”
you look shocked at his outburst, nodding softly.
the silence in the room is deafening, but Five is merely happy you’re there. Seven years and then some apart from you was not easy, and after his last conversation with you, he knows he’ll feel unsettled until he makes it right. if he can make it right.
“I did some thinking.” you start, cautious.
Five watches you with fear, scared to hear your next words.
“I’m not angry anymore. I understand you went through a lot being trapped again, and I can’t blame you for falling in love with Lila since she was there for you. I do wish you broke it off with me before kissing her, but what’s done is done.”
your voice comes out stable, like you’ve thought it all through and are content to leave things as they are. but Five is shaking his head the moment you say the word love and Lila in the same sentence, because that could not be more far from the truth.
“Wait, please stop it,” he begs, seeming desperate.
“I understand why you might think that way, but I do not love Lila.” he feels lighter with the words being spoken. he’s been aching to clarify this the moment you found out they kissed, but hasn’t had the chance.
your brows furrow, and you pick at the cotton sleeve of your hoodie. “Um, I see.” you look so confused, he can’t help but move closer to you.
you look at him, body rigid. you don’t seem comfortable around him anymore, and the thought has him clutching his chest in pain.
“Y/n, I love you.”
you recoil immediately, and it prompts Five to reach out instinctively.
the words tumble out of his mouth, like he’s scared you’re going to run before he can finish getting everything out. “I haven’t stopped loving you, Lila and I.. when we, you know, it was a moment of weakness after losing you and being trapped again. I wished every day that I could see you, but I was stuck.”
you move to stand, and a part of Five’s heart breaks for what he thinks will be the last time ever. because if you walk out of this room, he knows he won’t be able to love again. you are it for him, and if he doesn’t have you, then he’d rather stay alone for the rest of his life.
“I’m sorry, I truly am. I understand if you don’t want to be with me anymore, but I need you to know that I love you.”
at the end of his little speech he breathes out, listening to his heart thump loudly in his ears.
it’s odd, he thinks. love has always been so painful, so destructive. but with you it was simple. it was calm, steady and soft. he wonders; he hopes, that he’ll be able to experience it again. after all, a healthy type of love was rare for his kind.
he watches you walk closer, reaching a hand out and placing it on his cheek. he leans into it, closing his eyes as he missed your touch immensely. you use the other hand to push his hair back, planting a kiss on his forehead.
his eyes shoot open at the feeling, and he stares at you in wonder. he begins to feel hope bubble in his chest.
“You love me?” you ask quietly.
he nods, “Only you. Only ever you.”
you exhale, shoulders drooping as you move to sit beside him. you wrap an arm around his waist and one on his neck, pulling him down as you lay on the small bed. his head falls to your neck, and he sneaks a small kiss in, hoping you won’t push him away.
“I can’t promise that i’ll forgive you completely. At least not right now. And I’ll probably hate Lila forever, but I don’t think I can walk away from you knowing you love me.”
you run a hand through his hair, feeling him nod into the space between your head and your shoulder. “I know, I completely understand.”
you pat his head gently, staring up at the ceiling.
“I love you too, Five. I don’t think I ever won’t.”
he rubs his face into your neck, and you feel something wet touch it. you card your fingers through his hair once more, cooing.
“Thank you,” his voice comes out shaky, but he hopes you hear the sincerity.
you shift the two of you until you’re underneath the covers, cradling him in your arms with his head on your chest. “Don’t thank me yet. I will be making out with Diego as revenge.”
Five lifts his head, “What?!”
sorry if this is ooc:>
#five hargreaves x reader#five hargreeves#five hargreaves x you#the umbrella academy#The Umbrella Academy x Reader#tua s4#tua season 4#tua spoilers#number five#five hargreaves
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