#because why did I just start full on crying about how proud I am of him

[willesredlights]

.

[gotta-winwin]

OT13 Reaction -- to winning at MAMA awards

masterlist

a/n: in celebration of our boys winning both AOTY awards at MAMA last night. i am so incredibly proud i feel like i raised them or something. like guys- it is that serious they are my family and im going insane.

SCOUPS: you're the first one he's calling once he's offstage - he's dialling your number and a whole string of nonsense rattles off him the moment you pick up. he can't string together proper words as you congratulate him. tells you how fucking happy the boys are - you should've seen them, love - did you see woozi crying? and DK - he smiled so big - needs you to bring him back to earth and remind him that this is his award too. he deserves it just as much as they do.

JEONGHAN: he's literally been bored out of his mind as you guys sit at home, watching the award show live. the only times he's acc been paying full attention was whenever groups he knew personally were on screen - and even then - you know you're losing him to how tired he is. lets out the tiniest, babiest gasp when seventeen is announced as the winner. is crying but turns away so you can't call him out on it.

JOSHUA: he runs home to you right after their dinner together and collapses into your arms. he's spent from the sheer chaos and adrenaline. mumbles sweet nothings about how this award is also yours. we won, baby. we share everything - this award is because of you - all because of you.

JUN: he's hiding out in his filming trailer so he can watch the award show through your phone on facetime - it's grainy and glitchy as HELL but he does not care. there's a 3 second lag when seventeen's announced as the winner - so he can hear you screaming but he doesn't know why. his mouth drops once the wifi catches up and he's practically glowing the entire day on set.

HOSHI: comes home wasted and a bundle of pure energy. he's on a high from the win- rushes home to yell into your ear how ecstatic he is as he tackles you for a hug. tells you he's literally so down to name your firstborn child AOTY just cause.

WONWOO: he comes home rather calm despite the chaotic evening he just had. runs you through his whole day- from getting his makeup done to winning the award to having celebratory dinner. you sit and listen happily, cause this is the most yapping you've ever seen this man do and you're SO happy. finishes his yap session by telling you that you make it all worth it - you're the real award, not MAMA.

WOOZI: tells you not to watch their acceptance speech even though he knows you already did :( is uber embarrassed at how emotional his speech was. I was gonna go up and accept it like a nonchalant cool mysterious man but NO! I just had to cry. he doesn't talk about the win much to you, preferring to just enjoy a quiet night in after the crazy evening. whispers to you once you fall asleep that this is why he does music and thanks you and the boys for being his biggest fans.

THE8: sends you the badass photo of him with all their trophies, followed with a long paragraph about how grateful he is to have you next to him through it all. he's unbelievably bright and happy for the next couple weeks, resulting in you kind of missing sassy Hao and asking for him back. side eyes you when you ask and quips "you didn't win a daesang- I did." Well...he's back ig.

MINGYU: comes home and the first thing he says to you is: aren't you proud i didn't cry? pouts when you rewind the clip to point out: he did in fact cry, he was just hiding his ginormous body behind his members. vows to you he won't cry the next time they win- and yes, he promises there will be a next time. and many after that.

DK: a bundle of joy upon his arrival home. keeps telling you he doesn't know what he did to deserve all this- completely floored when you start ranting about why he deserves it all. blushes and hides his face cause the compliments have him shy.

SEUNGKWAN: comes home fully ready to unleash his bragging rights. asks you to only address him by AOTY daesang winner for the next hour, until the joke gets old and he just wants to relax with you. gets a little sappy retelling stories about their trainee days as you both walk down memory lane together.

VERNON: hands you a wad of cash the moment he enters your shared apartment. oh well. i lost the bet. he literally bet against his team winning and ofc you took him on it cause obv seventeen is gonna win?? tells you he was confident svt was going to win he just wanted an excuse to give you cash.

DINO: promises to shout you out the next time svt wins a daesang. obv you don't believe him, so he defends himself, promising that he will 100% name drop his girlfriend on global television for shits and giggles. yeah, i'll just grab the mic and say "i dedicate this award to my WIFE" and watch the internet explode. why not?

[alexa-fika]

Hi again first you're a teacher?? Me too soon 😂

Anyway I thought of another weird idea

A child that can see dead people 🏃‍♀️ and he sees corazon when he's with law

Or any other character

I will write a lot of ideas sorry if it's annoying 😅

🐼💕~

A/N:I am a teacher! Im a preschool teacher, that is why writing this in that aspect is really easy because I see their behaviors and shenanigans everyday. What grade will you be teaching??

Also, absolutely not! I love your ideas they are incredible, it will never be annoying trust me, receiving these makes me giggle and kick my feet like a little girl

Dividers by @/saradika

Clumsy Ghostly Guardians ( Law x gn!child!reader x Corazon)

“Dad, Dad!” The child could be seen once again running through the hallways of the submarine, their screams bouncing off the walls as they ran towards their father

Law looks up from his reading as the familiar sound of his child's footsteps approaches him. He sighs, returning his attention back to the medical journal in his hands.

“What is it?”

“Dad, who is the tall ghost who always follows you around?”

“Tall ghost who always follows me around?”

Law puts down his book to give his child his full attention

“What do they look like?”

He watches as the child changes their focus from him to next to him, attentively staring at something

“He’s really tall, he has funny lips, he has a big coat, and he falls a lot too.”

Law's brows furrow as he is genuinely confused by his child's words. However, Law gets a strange feeling in his gut that what they are seeing is none other than Corazon

“…Did they tell you their name?”

“He said his name was Rosinante, but he said you call him Corazon.”

Law's jaw hangs open as he stares at his child. Law never told his child about Corazón, and the fact that reader knows his real name and even his alias...

When the child had eaten the yuta-yuta fruit, the possibility was always at the back of his mind, but he had always brushed it off, thinking that Corazon was either following Doflamingo or Sengoku.

“...how long have you seen him?”

“Since I ate yuta-yuta”

“Since you ate the....”

Law's face goes pale with shock. He has a look of disbelief on his face

“...did he talk to you?”

“Mmhm, he said dad was the cutest when small, said you still have a gloomy expression now.”

Law's expression softens, and he sits down next to his child, trying to process everything that has occurred. He puts a hand on their head, ruffling their hair

“...what else did he say?”

“He said he’s glad you’re safe, what does that mean dad?”

Law shakes his head, trying to keep his emotions under control. He did not expect to encounter such profound news today. Law turns his attention back to his child and gives them a tight smile.

“...he means that he is happy we are safe. Did he say anything else?”

Law strokes their hair with his thumb

“He said that he is proud of you

Law's cheeks blush as tears stream down his face.

“Ah! Dad, why are you crying? Corazon, do something! You made Dad cry, meanie!”

Law covers his face with his sleeve; he struggles to regain his composure. Eventually, his heart starts to slow, and the tears stop

“Don’t worry about it; I’m just happy, Reader-ya.”

“Ah, Corazon fell again”

“Seriusly?!” He groans

So I did made this gender neutral but in Japan a Yuta is a female spirit medium and I couldn’t find a word for medium that would fall within that 4 or 3 alliteration format that the fruits have other than with yuta, and even that was stretching it but yeah, just wanted to let you guys know 😂.

Taglist:

@imaginarydreams

[sukunas-wife]

Would you be willing to write about Sukuna and a reader with post partum depression and body dysmorphia, with him trying to comprehend it and help? If not, that's fine.

Also could I be 🥀 anon?

I’ve never experienced postpartum. But I'll do my best after a little info dive 🥺🤍

You were holding onto Sukuna’s arm, it wasn’t enough to just hold his hand. You were pulling him down over you and he was worried. You tried to bury your face in his shoulder. He wanted to hold you but this wasn’t this place or time to hold you. You cried into his shoulder feeling the overwhelming pain and pressure in your body had you arching your back and finally you fell against the bed. You felt the wave of relief hit you when you heard that cry, your boy's little cry and whines. You did your best to sit up but you were a mess. Tired, sore and emotionally spent for the past 2 hours.

“Lady Y/n,” the medical aid’s assistant helped you to take your son. Sukuna looked like a proud bird. His chest was puffed out, there was a glimmer in his eye and a smug but soft smile. He gave a small show of affection when he leaned down pressed his lips to your head, laying a hand on your stomach rubbing soothing circles, “You did well y/n.”

You smiled, tired eyes looking up at him, your son latched to your chest. “‘’M so tired.” He stood up placing a hand on your head, slowly and carefully brushing your hair back, “You’ll be able to rest soon enough.

——————

This was the first time Sukuna had seen you broken, you were crying, trembling and holding Yuji who was also crying. You felt him come into the room but you felt hopeless you couldn’t even call out to him. You felt yourself curl over Yuji holding him closer to your chest.

“…y/n” Sukuna’s voice wasn’t cold, but it wasn’t comforting. It was full of concern and softer than how he’d usually demand your attention. You didn’t answer him as you tried to silence your shaky breaths. You felt him come up behind you, you shook your head no. He slid Yuji from your hold carrying him with one set of arms. With the other he turned you to face him. He didn't look at you, instead pulling you against his chest and holding you close. He didn't understand why you were crying or what caused this. He was just relieved that you seemed to cling to him instead of pushing him away. At least he knew it wasn’t his fault. Eventually his back started to hurt and Yuji started to whine threatening to cry. Your red puffy eyes looked so tired, “He won’t take..” you trailed off looking down, Sukuna was still confused won’t take what?? You didn't bother trying to explain because it felt like you couldn’t, instead you pressed your forehead to his chest staring at the floor and tearing up again. You were a mess, but his mess still, so he was going to do his best and try to maybe help.

It took another 30 minutes of trying to comfort you while you were in your distressed state. Before you could try to speak to him.

You explained to him how you were trying to breastfeed Yuji when he woke you up crying, but he wouldn’t take to your breast. How his screams and cries were tearing into your heart. You did your best to comfort him but you couldn’t, he wouldn’t calm down and you felt helpless and no one was there to help you. You felt like you couldn’t do it right, you couldn’t feed him, you couldn’t calm him down, you couldn’t get him to stop crying, you were his mother you should be able to take care of him like no one else. This led to you pulling away from Sukuna and sitting on the edge of your shred bed. One arm wrapped around your stomach, you were still bigger in size you could feel it. One hand came up to cover your mouth while you tried to hold back your cries. Sukuna was standing there doing his best to comfort Yuji in his arms while watching you all he could think was ‘Damnit when did humans become so emotional what the hell am I supposed to do to fix this?? Shut it brat I’m having a crisis too you're just hungry…’

He looked around before he took his place next to you, he was confused but not as distraught as you were. You felt sick, you couldn’t even bring yourself to look at him. “Come here.” He pulled you into his lap even as you protested, you didn’t feel comfortable in your own body, you didn’t want him to touch you so freely. He shushed you when you tried to smack his chest, you stilled against him when he squeezed your side against his chest with another hand rubbing your back trying to calm you down. He still held Yuji firmly in his arms, “…sukuna…” your voice was quiet. He shushed you, “you’ve done nothing wrong y/n, but Yuji needs to eat.”

You looked up at him, his hand touched your shoulder brushing at the edge of your robe. You placed your hand over his, looking up at him your eyes still looked so tired but you were looking for support, for something. His eyes softened, your hand guiding him as you slowly slipped the shoulder down to expose your chest. He brought Yuji closer to your chest, wrapped an arm around you, and you took Yuji into your arms. His cries quieted when you brought him to your chest, but he wouldn’t latch. You tried to guide him to your nipple but he wouldn’t take it again. Sukuna watched how you became distressed again, he. He had two arms wrapped around your back, one of his free arms moved to support Yuji’s head, the other cautiously under yours where you held Yuji. The hand on Yuji’s head moved to take his chin between two of his fingers, one arm from around your back moved up to take your breast in his hand, he guided Yuji to your breast carefully pulling his mouth open just enough to take your nipple. He latched onto you and you felt a small wave of relief and you heard Sukuna let out a chuckle, “just needed a little help.”

——————

A few weeks had passed and you felt slightly better, but breast feeding on ocasión was a three person party of You, Yuji and Sukuna. You had started to feel better physically, which meant Sukuna was beside you not trusting your silly little human helpers. No one could take care of you like he could. But that also didn't mean he didn't get impatient when you’d walk a little slowly, which led to you sitting on a stone bench and refusing to get up which led to him standing there throwing squinting at you as you turned your nose up and away at him. The both of you would be stuck in this sit/stand off for a good bit until Sukuna would walk off and come back with something for you to eat or until he caved and pulled you up over his shoulder, it was very rarely that you would cave because you always had a point when you would say, “You did this to me MR I WANT A SON so now YOU are going to put up with me and my little slow walk that you caused.” Followed by your angry pout and crossed arms.

Yet when you felt tired, hopeless and the depression started to kick in Sukuna was still hopelessly confused as to why you were feeling this. But there he was trying to learn how or what to do. He too was having a crisis every other day when you were beyond exhausted and he had to carry Yuji around with him only coming to poke the sleeping tiger when Yuji was hungry. There he was having to pick you up and support your drowsy sleep heavy body against his w so you could breastfeed. He was a single father by day, man looking for a second heir at night. To which you would almost agree but you’d always fall asleep before he could get back from putting Yuji down to sleep.

——————

“Sukuna!” Your voice was cheery, it had been just over 6 months since you pushed Yuji out but here you stood beside your bed in front of Sukuna with your robes wide open. “I didn't pee when I sneezed.” You were so excited to show him this, he was groggy blinking at you nodding along. Yuji was sleeping on his chest, caged in and protected by his four arms. “Wonderful, we’ll have a feast.” He knocked out snoring and you just looked at him with a small smile. He really had taken on a bigger role than you expected him to.

“King of curses hm?” You walked over pulling Yuji from his arm cage, “King of Snoring is starting to sound the same.”

You stretched out your arms, leaning back and holding Yuji up. “How’s my little prince now that I can actually hold you up hm?” He cooed, little hands stretching at you. “Aww.” You held him against your chest and he curled against you, little squinty eyes barely opening to look at you, “you look just like your daddy…” you gently grazed the back of your pointer finger against his chubby cheek.

I tried 🥹🤍 But I can always retry if it’s not up to code little extra promo

Permanent: @sakuxxi @mercymccann @certainduckanchor @najiiix @bakugou-katsukis-wife @amitiel-truth @souyasplushie @mylovelessnightmare @ynjimenez

@dolliira

Squishy: @sad-darksoul @satorisgirl @bontensbabygirl @lupita97lm @queen-luna-007 @venus-seeks

@cyder-puff @simpforyoubitch @domainofmarie @ilovemybabies378

[laiahernandeeezzz]

hi I got an idea for Florence and reader. They're both actors. Reader and Flo are filming a movie together. It's period wlw drama (with good ending of course). And at the end of the filming there is wrap party and Y/n confesses to Flo that she fell in love with her.

I hope you enjoy this, as much as I did writing it... I'm not an expert, but I am quite proud of how it turned out. Also, English is not my first language so bare with me if there's any mistakes!!!

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BEHIND THE CAMERAS

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Paring: Florence Pugh x fem!reader (R is taller than Florence in this)

Elisabeth is Y/n's charater, and Amy is Florence's one

Words: 1.8K

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Y/n would be lying if she said she wasn’t nervous. After months of filming, the last scene of their film finally had to take place. She didn’t know what she was most nervous of, the pressure of having to nail the last take or having to kiss her co-star. Who she may or may not have a crush on, but that wasn’t the point.

Working with Florence has been one of the biggest opportunities she was ever given. The British actress not only was amazingly talented, but she also was the kindest person Y/n had ever met. Florence was a caring person, always making sure all her co-worker were fine, helping whenever they needed, and always with a smile on her face. So, yeah, Y/n, wasn’t surprised she had fallen for her.

After getting ready, she headed to the set: an enormous ballroom, beautifully decorated, with gold accents, a huge amount of flowers, and full of people dressed in gorgeous gowns. She was admiring the room, so she didn’t notice the person that stood beside her until they spoke, “Don’t you look beautiful?”

That voice had Y/n immediately flustered, she would recognize that voice anywhere, and not just because they had spent months together. She turned to see Florence, and suddenly she forgot how to breathe. The blonde actress was wearing a black dress, with gold accents, her hair tied up in a big bun, and almost invisible makeup on her face.

“That’s rich coming from you, you look stunning, Florence” The blonde actress smiled shyly at the compliment. Both girls kept complimenting the decorations and the set, until the director called them to start filming.

Once in place, one in front of the other, they smiled reassuringly at each other. “Are you ready to do this?”

“You know I’m always ready”

******

As soon as she saw Amy enter the room, Elisabeth ran out to the gardens. She had been trying to avoid her for so long, crying herself to sleep, convincing herself it was the best, even though she felt like she was dying inside. However, as soon as the blonde girl saw her, she followed her.

“Eli, please stop!” Amy shouted, in a whisper, when they arrived at the furthest corner of that huge garden.

“I really do not want to talk to you, leave me alone please” She said while she kept walking in another direction, not really conscious of where she was headed.

“Why don't you want to listen to me? What have I done to hurt you so much?” Amy knew she sounded desperate, but she really wanted to understand why her best friend (if you could call them that) was avoiding them. 

“Seriously? You don’t recall how you told me I was the only one who had a problem? Don’t you remember how you kissed me, and ran away the second we separated?” Elisabeth was mad that her friend (again, if you could call them that) was actually oblivious about what had happened. So she shouted, pointing at both of them, as Amy’s eyes widened.

“Be quiet! Anyone could hear us!” She was scared of someone finding them, hearing their conversation, and that only infuriated Elisabeth more.

“You think I’m not afraid of them finding out? Believe me, I am, but at least I’m not a coward who runs from her feelings” Tears at this point were unstoppable, but neither really cared. 

“Of course I know you are afraid too” Amy tried to step closer, but the taller girl took a step back, trying to keep their distance. 

“Then why do you keep running away from me? Tell me, because I really want to understand”

“Because I’m afraid of losing you!” She finally shouted, exposing her real fears. She had admitted them to herself a while ago, but she never had the courage to say it out loud. 

“What?” Elisabeth was not expecting that. She thought it was because she was scared of being left out, of stopping being part of the society. She knew how much Amy enjoyed the dresses, the balls, the richness. 

“I’m afraid that if they find us out, they will take you or me away, that they will keep us apart… I am not sure if I would survive it. So yes, I ran, although not because I don’t want to be with you, but I’d much rather see you in a ball on the other side of the room, catching your glances, than never see those eyes, those lips and your smile again. I love you so much, that I would rather you be mad at me, than to never see you again” Amy finally could hold her love’s hands, looking into her eyes, trying to put as much emotion she could in them. Trying to get the girl she loved back in her life.

“You love me?” Elisabeth's mind was racing, trying to comprehend everything she had been told. Amy loved her, she was afraid of losing her. Elisabeth loved her too. “I love you too”

They pressed their heads together, when rain started to fall. Both girls smiled, as their breaths mixed up, feeling each other's heat in their hands. They didn’t care they were getting wet, they just cared for one another. “Please, let me kiss you?” The blonde girl asked, not knowing how long she could hold herself back.

Instead of answering, Elisabeth connected their lips, both girls whimpering at the feeling. It had been a while since their last kiss, and they hadn’t realized how much they needed to feel each other. The rain was pouring at this point, but both girls kept kissing, wrapped in the other’s arms.

******

“Cut! Girls, you can stop now!”

Florence and Y/n looked confused around them, not knowing what was happening. Soon they realized that the director had been yelling at them to stop for a while. As some people of the crew wrapped them in towels (they also noticed that they were soaking wet), the director approached them. 

“That was perfect, we got it in just one take, good job! We can call it a day, go change, and we’ll see you tonight at the wrap party! Excellent job, seriously!” As both girls muttered a small thank you, they looked at each other quickly, cheeks completely blushed.

“So I guess I’ll see you tonight” Florence said, and before she left, she left a quick peck on Y/n’s cheek. The latter stood there until someone from her team pulled her to take her to the trailer, so she could get change. 

******

“Can you stop moving? Why are you so nervous?” Hailee had been watching her friend pacing since they arrived at the party, and she was getting frustrated. 

“I’m not nervous” Y/n really tried to play it cool, knowing that her friend wouldn’t believe a word she said. 

“Yeah sure… What has got you like this?”

Rather than getting an answer, Hailee saw the answer with her own eyes. Florence was approaching them, making Y/n stop moving the second she laid eyes on her co-star. The blonde girl looked breathtaking; she was wearing a lilac two-piece set, blue flowers as a pattern. The top was a corset with a very low neckline, and the bottom was a tight mini skirt. 

“Hi! You both look amazing! Hailee, it's been a while, hasn’t it?” Florence greeted them with a huge smile, trying to not stare at Y/n for too long. Her co-star was wearing a black suit, the blazer having a low cut, exposing a black bralette. 

“Do you want a drink? The usual?” Was the only thing Y/n managed to say, trying to not make a fool of herself. The blonde actress was there for that, though.

“I’ll take it, but first come dance with me please?” Y/n wasn’t going to say no, but she wouldn’t have been able to even if she wanted, because Florence was already dragging her to the dance floor. The taller girl managed to send Hailee a glance, and she only found that her friend was sending her two thumbs up, and a smirk.

The place the production team found was huge, and even then, the place was packed. Friends, family from the cast and the production team were there, so there were a lot of people. 

Florence managed to place them almost in the middle of the dance floor, quickly wrapping her arm around Y/n neck, as soon as they stopped walking. The taller actress, as an instinct, placed her hand on the blonde actress’ waist. Soon, both girls set into the rhythm of the music, moving in tune.

Bodies everywhere, dancing and drinking, and the moment they locked eyes they seemed to disappear. Florence smiled at her friend, playing with the small hair that slipped out the ponytail she was wearing. Y/n thumbs caressing the skin between the skirt and corset let visible with Florence’s moves. 

Y/n stared at her co-star as they started to get closer, “Can we go to a more private place? I need to talk to you” Her mouth moved faster than her brain, because those words came out before she could stop them. Only waiting for a nod, Y/n took Florence’s hand, and took her to a corner decorated with some neon lights.

When they got there, the blonde girl leaned back so she was resting against the wall as she saw how Y/n started pacing. She decided not to push her, so she waited until the taller actress was ready; thankfully, she didn’t have to wait more than a few seconds. 

“So… I kinda like you! I mean, like like you. I know this is weird, and maybe I could’ve waited so we weren’t at the wrap party of our film, but you looked so stunning, and then you took me to dance, and your eyes, your hands on my neck… I just needed to tell you, and it’s okay if you don’t like me back, because that would be totally normal… You know what? I’m gonna leave, I’m sorry if I made you uncom-” A soft finger touched her lips, making her shut up. With her rambling, she hadn’t noticed Florence approaching her with a funny smirk on her lips. 

Y/n instantly relaxed, and looked at Florence with confusion. “What are you doing?”

The blonde actress rested her forehead against her co-star’s, remembering for a short moment their characters. “I really like you too”

And that was all it took for them to kiss. Y/n pressed Florence against the wall, lips fighting against each other, trying to put all their emotions on their kiss. After a while, they pulled apart to catch their breaths, still smiling. 

“Are you sure you want this?” The taller asked, shyness taking over her again. 

Florence softly laughed and pecked the other girl’s lips. “I’m sure as long as I have you”

[trying-to-get-somewhere-real]

AO3 Wrapped 2024

saw @droughtofapathy's version of this and was inspired to do my own - this was my first year writing fic, and i thought i would just do one little thing and be done with it, but have now written 6 fics! and am excited to keep at it and continue to improve/write longer works. huge huge thanks to @ensorcei, who has been my beta and biggest cheerleader (and also encouraged me to do this wrapped post!)

Works published: 6

Word count: 34,398

Kudos: 115

Hits: 884

Bookmarks: 8

Subscriptions: 7 (if user subs); 1 (if work subs)

Most popular by kudos: Some Things Are Singular (29 kudos) - this was my very first fic, and I think a lot of people just wanted to support me getting into fic writing. Everything I've written after this is better in my opinion.

Most hits: A Craving, Not A Crush (191 hits) - turns out if you write something with more than one chapter you will get more hits?

Longest: A Gem Among Pebbles is the technically correct answer, at 10,502 words. However, it was a collaboration with two other writers, and I only wrote about 1,200 words of it. The more accurate answer is Love Is A Ring, The Telephone at 6,706 words.

Shortest: Two People Staring (2,647 words)

Most comments: Some Things Are Singular (12 comments) - like I said above, a lot of people wanted to support me on my first fic, and that's why I think it's the most commented, despite not being the best.

Favorite comment: I never thought I would write smut and then found myself giving it a go with Love Is A Ring, The Telephone and was so nervous about how it came out, and one of my very favorite Hacks writers @skatehepburn (who is an incredible writer of smut) left me this comment, and it single-handedly made me believe I could keep writing this kind of thing:

I AM SO PROUD OF YOU 😭😭😭😭 I famously LOVE a phone sex fic and this is no exception! "She shouldn’t have been surprised that Blanche was interrupting her before she could even get a full sentence out, but she always gave Blanche the benefit of the doubt, even when—perhaps especially when—Blanche least deserved it. " ahhhhh this is such a good distillation of their whole deallll "“When I sit across the table from her at dinner, I don’t think about what it would feel like to have her mouth on me.”" THIS IS THE MOMENT I SAID THIS SMUT IS FOR ME Blanche being a little bit subby??? SO SPECIAL ugh i love when characters have to SAY OUT LOUD why they're so gone on each other, it never gets old 🥲 may this be the start of a long and illustrious smut-peddling career for you 🫡

Also, these are not public, but @ensorcei gives me detailed feedback on my drafts that always counts as my favorite comments, and her seeing my development over each fic really kept me going the entire year.

Fics that made me cry: I famously do not cry at fics, and so even though it was published in 2019 (and I read it in 2019, not 2024), I must always hype the only fic that ever made me cry, @beauregardslionetts's Nothing But Strawberries, which is possibly the most famous fic in the Vanity fandom for very good reason.

Fics that made me smile: The Art of a Perfect Epilogue by silasfinch; and Don't you leave me this way by Imagine_rhetoric both because I really enjoyed both of the fics themselves and also because, before this, I had basically recruited all of the writers for this fandom and these two came out of nowhere. The surprise of two unexpected fics, and the knowledge that these two writers saw what I saw in this pairing, completely independently of me, made me smile so big. Really grateful they published in this fandom and would love to see more from them!

Gifts: An incredible thing about the Blanche/Judith fandom is that like 80%+ fics written (that I did not write myself) are gifts for me. More of those gifts were written in 2022-2023, but this year that included:

Buried Sweetly in Her Yellow Hair by @droughtofapathy

The Art of a Perfect Epilogue by silasfinch

Gifts I've Given: I wrote the first chapter of A Craving, Not A Crush very quickly on a whim as a gift for friend on Twitter who was doing her dissertation defense shortly thereafter. It was a great lesson in embracing the motivation when it comes and sticking to a short deadline!

Love Is A Ring, The Telephone was a gift for @ensorcei and @dkc2017

Collaborations: Just before the end of the year, I, along with @sapphicscholar, helped add a few final scenes to A Gem Among Pebbles, primarily written by @dkc2017, to bring the fic to the world. I love these two writers more than I can possibly express and I am so happy this fic is out there for anyone to read now. The best fics are those that remind you of why you love a pairing and both of my co-authors did that for me.

Events: N/A

Word count read: I am not doing math for this but I didn't actually read that much fic this year because I was concentrating on writing and didn't really get into any new ships. But I did read everything @sapphicscholar wrote for Hacks so that's at least ~100k words.

Bookmarks: I didn't bookmark anything this year because I didn't really read too much this year! But I will use this space to plug my favorite non-blanchejudith fic of the year, Folie à Deux, which is an incredibly ambitious and brilliant Ava/Deb X-Files AU by @sapphicscholar.

[yosajaeofficial]

AUGUST/SEPTEMBER UPDATE

Heya everybody! We’re back for a double episode of, “The Monthly Jayce Myles Comics Updates”! The reason why August wasn’t fulfilled like normal was due to college and how busy I immediately got when entering in, which is what I figured would happen so I’m not too surprised with it to be honest. I took some time in order for me to make a fulfilling update instead of doing a rushed one to pump out yk? We’re now gonna get to the updates and bonus content I’m gonna show.

Buckle your seat belts, close your eyes and take your hands off the wheel cuz this is gonna be a ride~

THE COMIC

(OFFICIAL W.I.P: PAGES 28 & 31)

The comic’s gotten slower due to college, however, I really needed a break from it in general so I could prioritize my personal life and also refresh myself on drawing what I want to instead of rushing my age physically and turn 78 years old when I haven’t even reached 20 yet. Nothing much to say but showing the w.i.ps because of the slower progress, it’s getting there though. We got to 30 pages! Which means that the first section is sketched out (calculated to be approximately a fourth of the full chapter done, it could go lower or higher in the numbers depending on what I want/vision). I’m hella proud for getting 30 of them pages done honestly. A huge accomplishment for doing this story for a long while.

Ya’ll don’t really know, but I am indeed changing things here and there about the story where I’m shifting small details, doing redesigns, and reboots with other small things overall. I would be honest and say that’s where I’m progressing the most and not the debut chapter, I’m able to have a clearer vision of the story in my head and on paper when doing future chapters yk? I won’t go into details about redesigns or those details being changed since they’re hella spoilerish and a bit unnecessary considering that the JMC hasn’t even debuted yet. Ya’ll will get those details later when the comic functions and I will reveal more in future updates!

Also, last month Jae, no you haven’t drawn the turtles yet. However, we’re close to their debut for the chapter so keep strong! You’re doing great! :3

BONUS CONTENT: Jayce Myles Over The Years

Many of you know that Jayce Myles, whose name is in the title of the series, is our protagonist for this ROTTMNT comic! She’s my OC that I’ve had when going through my senior year of high school. We’re gonna be getting into a deep dive with her as a character and how their designs came to be during the process!

This is the first ever drawing of Jayce that I’ve done, the day I made it is so vivid in my head because I was going through it… I was in my Pre Calculus class and I had failed another test after multiple attempts through the school year. My initial idea was to cry (which I did) but then I just started doodling on my phone and I created this drawing, then from there it was history. This was in 2022, not too long ago. I became a Rise fan a couple weeks after the movie came out (which I didn’t know at the time, it was a pure coincidence) and I wanted to create a Rise OC for a while. So that day in Pre-Calc, I was able to take advantage of my mathematical suffering and create my magnum opus (exaggerated). She didn't have a name at the time so it was actually a stand in for me. Jayce got their full name until a couple days later.

EVOLUTION OF JAYCE MYLES

(October 2022- February 2024)

As you all can see, Jayce did indeed have lots of designs and ideas being sketched out while I created her as my official Rise OC. I had ideas for them to have an androgynous look from the start based off of my own self! I knew they were gonna have a Rise comic, but there were ideas for them to originally come from the 2012 TMNT universe with their "serious demeanor". It was quite interesting but there isn't much media of those ideas since they were cut a bit early on.

(Older Renders of Jayce from 2022)

Their signature color looked like it was gonna be this denim blue for quite a while but then I scrapped it cuz I thought it wasn't showing their personality like how I want it to. There was also another scrapped concept where Jayce's demeanor would be more monotone and "soft" (as in a blank slate, which doesn't give her a true personality). It was cut because it made me think that I wasn't giving her the best potential as the protagonist then I should've been giving them. Jayce was more introverted and quiet, but now they're much more expressive and full of personality. Ya'll will see in a more better light when the comic debuts, I'm not holding back with Jayce's personality anymore.

("Issue 1: Graffiti" Panels from page 1. The only page that was completed until the plot got scrapped.)

There were lots of pitches and concepts for the JMC over the years too, where lots of storyboards got drafted and one of the first of those drafts got their first page completed. However, I'm pulled a Richard Williams and kept being like "No, I don't like this" and kept going back to the drawing board. I like to look back on these old drafts especially after seeing the older interactions and how different they're gonna be in the official comics. I for sure was learning over 2023 and 2024...

Now finally, we're gonna touch on the last thing for this update~

JMC'S FINALIZED PILOT (ADDITIONAL CHARACTER)

We are going to talk just a teeny bit about the debut chapter but I'm able to become vague without spoiling too much since lots of the older pitches were scrapped. But yes, this was when I came up with the idea, "What if Jayce had a job?"

That's where the idea of Jayce working at a deli joint came from. Where she would have to get a 9-5 and possibly fired, it was pretty funny when doing the drafts since I never knew how a real deli worked and my dumbass just used my mom's experience at Denny's as referenced (she walked out and quit after almost a year).

Thus, our pilot was born.

You can go read a non canon comic I did that touched on this concept when it was fresh in development right here! [Jayce and Mikey Phone Call] & [Splinter/Randall and Jayce Interaction]

The shop itself was based off of a friend's film back in junior year. He made a FNAF parody called, "Five Nights At Fernando's" and it was such a stupid assignment but that gave me the idea of making use of the dumbass "Fernando's Shop" and make it a reality. So then Fernando's Taco Shop was created and we had the shop Jayce worked at. We already talked a bit about Archie and his deal in the first JMC Monthly Update and I can't say anymore due to spoilers but he was also involved of the creation of the pilot.

The older pitches had a cashier or a manager be like some NPC ahh character that never was gonna be brought up ever again but something in me thought it would be a cute idea to create an actual character for this manager that wasn't a stupid bossy ass hoe. It was very sweet in the drafts so I thought I could create more with that concept in mind.

Introducing: Rogelio Andazola!

(Rogelio Andazola Evolution: 2022-2023 | Still Not Showing The Finalized.)

His design is one that is the most consistent when compared to the rest of the roster, I guess that I hit the nail with his because I couldn't imagine him any different. There are only minor changes like his gray strands disappearing (bro reverse aged) and his facial expressions are much more expressive after I played around during the soft reboot. Once again (and as annoying as it is), you will all see where I'm coming from when the debut chapter releases! Rogelio as a character has also altered his personality, he's based off of my grandpa, can't wait to show you how that comes into play in the story!

Thank you all so much for sticking around for this very heavy update! I worked way too much for the photos to be sent on here and dug up lots of my old art in order for this to become a reality! It was actually insane that I kept lots of it instead of making it turn into lost media, I'm happy I got to show lots of it instead of having to make it the fuck up by memory (which I wouldn't have done in the first place and is an exaggeration). The comic is slaying in the runway and I'm working on it here and there at my own pace. Maybe next time I can finally show ya'll the turtles in the next W.I.P in the comic section. Have an amazing day/night everyone and we're on the way to victory!

[epitomereally]

Celestial Navigation by @sabrecmc

18 year old Omega!Tony finds himself Bonded to Captain Steve Rogers. He isn't happy about it until he is.

An absolutely gorgeous story of learning to love yourself, even when you feel like you don't fit in & that you grew up wrong. I'm so happy to have gotten to bind this mammoth work for Sabre & as a gift exchange for @mourningmountainsbindery (who bound me this beautiful copy of Astolat's Let the River Run—JUST LOOK AT THAT COVER!).

Also to anyone who has @ed me lately (looking at u, em @powerful-owl & tacky @tackytigerfic particularly) & I've been derelict in responding, here is WHY.

This has been the longest binding project I've undertaken, both in page count and in time. My original message to Sabre was on March 16th—can't decide if I want to use the laughing or crying emoji here—and the colophon says I made the book in April 2023 (which was when I started typesetting, maybe). I had been randomly perusing dying videos on Youtube in bed on a Saturday morning, as one does, and came across a video showing how to spiral tie-dye. I IMMEDIATELY had a design premonition of the full design for this fic as a two-volume set, planted into my brain wholesale by the binding gods. I learned many new techniques throughout the process (edge painting, edge trimming/sanding, tie-dying/dyepainting, embroidery, typesetting meta from tumblr which copy-pastes with the worst goddamn formatting in the world, kill me now). Overall, alternately extremely painful & wonderful, and I'm extremely proud of this set.

Design-wise, I went whole-hog with the scifi stars theme. Endpapers are recolored versions of the star charts from the Apollo 11 mission:

Title page & chapter titles are both rips in the galaxy:

Epigraphs both star-themed:

Some more glamor shots because I'm so proud 💕

8.6 lbs // 3.8 kgs worth of books (~3000 total pages) 🥰

Celestial Navigation is also INCREDIBLY popular, and Sabre has been incredibly generous answering asks on her tumblr + writing additional one-shots in the universe. There is also a veritable volume of fanart. I was so inspired by seeing @robins-egg-bindery copy of ********, with its appendix of fanart & meta, that I promptly copied them.

fanart redacted because lots of the artists are no longer active on tumblr but just know i am ECSTATIC about the amount of art in these books

Lastly, I love how @clovenhoofbindery includes their 'Illustrator mess' with their bind posts, as a behind-the-scenes look into the wild process of designing these books. I don't actually have an Illustrator mess for this book (the chapter titles & title page pretty much came in one take), but I do have a DYING MESS. It took me sososo many tries to figure out how to get the dye to look how I imagined in my head. I ended up 'dye painting' instead of tie-dying in the end, but my inbox is always open to chat hand-dying/tie-dying/dyepainting (or what I did differently between any of these attempts). Numbers are the dying attempt.

Last process shot: I hand-dyed variegated linen thread to match the colors of the bind, which ends up being incredibly difficult to see on the finished bind, but was super fun while I was sewing!

Materials:

Body font: Kepler

Title font: Compaq 1982

Chapter number font: aliens & cows

Endpapers: recolored versions of the star chart used by Michael Collins during the Apollo 11 mission (archived at The Smithsonian)

Bookcloth: dyed using Dharma Trading Procion Fiber-Reactive Dyes

Title page and chapter headers: designed in Photoshop using the Ultimate Space brush pack by jeffrettalyn on DeviantArt

Metallic embroidery thread: Cosmo Nishikiito thread

I would dye for this embroidery thread. It is LIGHT YEARS better than the classic metallic embroidery thread from DMC: much easier to work with & much more sparkly. Literally so eye-catching; it truly doesn't translate to photos.

Paint for edges: Daniel Smith watercolor tubes in Iridescent Sunstone and Prussian Blue

Note: these are GORGEOUS watercolors. The color is so saturated and strong and beautiful BUT I don't think I'd recommend watercolors for edge painting. They went on very differently depending on the grit of the sandpaper I used for the edges + they sometimes bled into the pages + they had to be set with fixative, which then stuck the pages together.

[uc1wa]

CONGRATS ON 1K OMGGG I feel like it was just yesterday when you had only a few Dick Grayson fics 🥹 idk if you meant for guilty pleasure to be sexual or not but like.... corruption kink go brrrr tbh. I want someone to be like sickeningly sweet with me because I'm about to be an absolute mess and I need that emotional rock 😂 If you meant guilty pleasure in general, it's those Am I The Asshole posts. Something about being nosey while not having the tea be about someone I know is so good to me. I want to be above gossip but I'm not 😔 Song pick is probably Peaches by Kai (shoutout to EXO) As for fandom you can pick amongst all the boys, I trust your taste. Haikyuu, JJK or DC ✨️ So proud of you tbh, I love your writing, and you deserve all the followers and more!! 💞 Also take your time with these, I have a feeling you're about to get SWAMPED 👀👀

this entire message made my heart LEAP :’))) to know you’ve been here from the start :’)) thank you so much for your support love!! also giving me full reigns… i’m kicking my feet so fucking hard… but i am SORRY I AM GOING TO MY ROOTS AND I HOPE U ENJOY BABY :3

you get a sweet ol’ uni senior jason <3

corruption? if he acknowledged that that is what he did to you, he’d laugh with a roll of his eyes. make fun of you and remind you that you’re the one who came crawling back for his dick.

how could you not though? he scooped you up from a kickback at roy’s apartment. wrapped an arm around your shoulders, and even though he was suave and cold, those traits only acted as attraction.

why wasn’t he flaunting himself? he didn’t need to. tight black top presented his pecs all too well and it was hard not to ogle at his biceps. biceps that flexed with every thrust of his length inside you, smirking when you cry on his cock. but he’s not all that bad, he’ll still send you a text in the morning.

jason todd: hope u can walk today, wyd tn

xi’s 1k event

[jesssssssssica]

juno! j.b p1

word count: 1.02k

it started with a chair.

the fact that i’m staring at two lines on a stick covered in my pee is because of a chair.

shit.

what am i meant to do now?

“what am i going to do?” i ask my friend through the phone.

“maybe it's just a food baby, what'd you have for lunch yesterday?" she replies, the phone rested on her shoulder as she painted her nails a pastel pink.

"i wish it was a food baby but i've taken three tests and it's showing nothing but two lines" i said sighing.

"wait- how did you produce so much pee?"

"i just drank loads of apple juice - anyway that's beside the point, i'm pregnant"

holy shit.

that feels unbelievable to say, i am pregnant.

"y/n" the voice takes me out of my little daydream.

"yeah" i reply

"who's the father?"

those three words suck me down memory lane.

it was just meant to be two nerdy virgins getting it on and now look at the consequences, of course we couldn't blame society for not telling us to "wrap it before you tap it" because we were forced through the painfully awkward sex ed lessons. we could only blame ourselves for believing the 'pull out method' was a reliable method of contraception. what an idiot.

but i couldn't deny it wasn't one of the best things i had experienced in my life, and that the way he made me feel when i reached the edge was almost mind-blowing, in fact i kept questioning whether or not he was a virgin. he was just that good, it would've been amazing if he didn't have such fast swimmers.

"it's jude's"

jude bellingham or jude victor william bellingham if you're like that. he was one of those guys that you wouldn't notice in a crowd full of men but if you were one of the lucky ones that did then you would be so happy. he was one of those guys that can read you even if you are so careful about not showing any emotion, he will know. i used to joke and say how it was superpower and he would just smile at me with those pearly whites. the same pearly whites that were hidden by his perfectly plump lips, that pulled me in and started the domino effect that led up all the way to now.

my friends laugh reminds me i'm not alone.

"what made you and bellingham bone? i didn't know he was you type"

she wasn't wrong. on any normal day you wouldn't feel such emotions for jude but that day was different, in fact i wanted nothing more than to kiss him until we were left breathless and he made my knees week.

"i don't know just something that happened" i reply a red blush appearing on my face

"you love him!"

"i don't think that's the most important thing to come out of this conversation."

"sorry, but what was he like?"

"he was amazing"

it was true, he was the best thing i've ever experienced.

"what are you going to do?"

"i don't know but i need your help."

jude was a footballer, a good one at that, but his routine was one from hell. he would wake up early, the kind of early that even in the summer mornings, the sun still hasn't rose. that kind of early. when he told me about his mornings, i felt like crying. he puts on his stupid high shorts and puts on his bright orange sweatbands; one around his head and a sweatband on both his arms and legs.

if i remember correctly, he then heats up one of those quick and easy waffles and then begins his laps around the neighbourhood. and that's why i'm sat here, on that same chair that ruined my life.

"hey jude"

"oh hey y/n oh that's a nice rug that tiger looks proud"

" i know right, i took it from mrs martins doorstep" he nods awkwardly in response to my words. i continue to speak "your shorts are looking especially shiny today, what's up with that?"

"oh thanks. my mum used some colour bleach thing, i don't know what it's called." he shrugs after he speaks, one arm rested on the back of his neck.

"so.. do you want to know something?" lord, give me strength.

"i mean sure, i guess"

"i'm pregnant"

i observe his face as he takes in the news. i don't know how he feels, his face is not letting anything show, his eyes void of emotion and maybe even soul. the only things he's doing is fidgeting with his hands, sometimes cracking his knuckles.

just as he opens his mouth to reply, jude's fellow runners appeared, their junks peeking through the shorts, that seem to get shorter and shorter everyday. those shorts make me picture them naked, whether i like it or not. he turns back to me and says,

"i- i'm meant to be running now"

"i know"

the air is tense, it's choking me. we both don't know where to look or what to say. luckily, he breaks it soon after.

"so.. what do you think we should do?"

hmmm. he's not as douchey as some say he is.

"i think, i might just nip it in the bud before it.. you know turns into what some people say is a baby. do you know that pregnancies can cause infants to roam the earth?"

he chuckles and i realise i haven't heard a sound as sweet as that damn chuckle.

"hm. i've heard that too, apparently we were one of them when we were younger"

i smile. my first real smile in a while. it's a peaceful smile.

"so you're okay with everything?"

"course, it's you that's the one going through it, so you do you."

i don't whether or not to speak again but i do.

"i'm sorry for having sex with you."

"i'm not"

"i'll see you at school"

i ride off on the bicycle i had kept rested on the armchair, leaving jude to his own thoughts.

[anexperimentallife]

Are You There? Are You Safe? Is The Flock Safe?

(I'm posting the full text of some stories I've sold, but for which the rights have reverted to me. This is the second story I ever sold--an 800 word flash piece I wrote for Daily Science Fiction--and they bought it just in time for me to buy a needed prescription. It's not my usual style, but I'm proud of it, especially since none other than Cat Rambo said it made her cry.)

--

Even this close to the desert, the sun finds enough cloud on which to paint its retirement colors. Turner Bray sits beside an almost-dry stream under a Joshua tree while the oranges and yellows and reds and pinks fade into one another, and listens to the birds.

They are not Original birds, of course; the stores of avian DNA were among the many things damaged on the voyage here, centuries ago. They might look like Original birds, and hatch from eggs like Original birds, but they are partly carbon filament and nanotubes, and they grow tiny processors in their brains to guide them--with varying degrees of success--toward Original bird behavior.

This flock--Turner's flock--comprises both parakeets and cockatiels, as well as a mated pair of African Grays and an elderly Amazonian Parrot. Original Birds did not mix like this in the wild, and that is part of why Turner is here; to learn more about how these birds differ in behavior from Originals so that new designs can take into account the failures of the past.

As the light fades, the birds start up the evening chatter that binds them as a flock in much the same way it must have for Original birds. They speak in chirrups and sweels and little squawks that ask, "Are you there? Are you safe? Is The Flock safe?" And they answer each other, "I am here. I am safe. The Flock is safe."

To pass the days and weeks, Turner teaches himself to imitate the bird calls, becoming fluent enough to engage in their daily reassurances. Sometimes he spreads crumbled rations on the ground and calls out in their language, "Food! Food! There is food here!" After a while, most will eat tidbits directly from his hand, and after a longer while they seem to accept as one of them this wingless giant who speaks the language of the flock.

The birds have names for each other. They give Turner a name, as well--a simple, trailing squawk--and even contact-call to him when he moves out of sight. "Where are you? We can't see you! Are you safe?"

On the day of the snake attack, Turner is recording. Although he should simply observe, his first reaction is to raise the alarm. "Snake! Snake! Protect the chicks!" The snake is menacing the Grays' nest, but it is a little cockatiel--his real name is a lilting whistle, but Turner has dubbed him Geronimo for his bravery--who throws himself at the snake's eyes, protecting the chicks for the scant second it takes the rest of the flock to descend in a fury of beaks and claws and battering wings.

When the battle is done, Geronimo lays on his side on the ground flapping one wing and peeping feebly. The lump in Turner's throat surprises him, but more so the reaction of the flock. Original birds would have left Geronimo to die or--depending on the species--finished him off. But these birds form a protective circle around their fallen hero, and several of the smaller ones line up to press their beaks to Geronimo's to feed him the snake meat they've consumed.

They are not just different from Original birds, Turner thinks, but--as blasphemous as the idea may be in a world where terraforming has become a religion--better than Original birds. Yet, because they are not enough like Original birds, they will be phased out and replaced over the next five years.

For the first time since he was a small child, Turner weeps openly.

Years pass. Turner is an old man, now; too old for field research, many say, but he manages to acquire a grant, even so. His new study will take him to the edge of a different desert, far from the intentionally terraformed parts of the world, but to a place where Terran life has, nonetheless, taken hold. Most importantly, it will take him far away from the "civilization" he no longer wants to be a part of. The one that saw fit to destroy something beautiful simply because it was not what they had imagined it should be.

After setting up camp, he wheels the heavy cryogenic sample cases out of the back of his vehicle. Most biologists carry empty cases to the field and return with full ones, but Turner is doing the opposite. By the time anyone discovers what he has stolen it will be too late.

The first chicks hatch after a couple of weeks, and Turner speaks to them in the language of birds. "We are here. We are safe. The Flock is safe."

(Also, my health is failing, and I need to get back to the US where I can use my medical benefits if I'm going to live to see my daughter grow up. If you'd like to help, please see this post.)

[thinlyq]

When the Fat Girl Gets Skinny

the year of skinny pop and sugar free jello cups

we guzzled vitamin water and vodka

toasting to high school and survival complimenting each others collarbones

trying diets we found on the internet:

menthol cigarettes eating in front of a mirror

donating blood.

replacing meals with other practical hobbies like making flower crowns

or fainting

wondering why I haven't had my period in months why breakfast tastes like giving up

or how many more productive ways I could have spent my time today

besides googling the calories in the glue of a US envelope

watching America's Next Top Model like the gospel

hunching naked over a bathroom scale shrine crying into an empty bowl of cocoa puffs

because I only feel pretty when I'm hungry

If you are not recovering, you are dying.

By the time I was sixteen, I had already experienced being clinically overweight, underweight,

and obese.

As a child, Fat was the first word people used to describe me,

which didn’t offend me until I found out it was supposed to.

When I lost weight, my dad was so proud he started carrying my before-and-after photo

in his wallet.

so relieved he could stop worrying about me getting diabetes.

he saw a program on the news about the epidemic with obesity

says he is just so glad to finally see me taking care of myself.

If you develop an eating disorder when you are already thin to begin with,

you go to the hospital.

If you develop an eating disorder when you are not thin to begin with,

you are a success story.

So when I evaporated, of course everyone congratulated me on getting healthy.

Girls at school who never spoke to me before stopped me in the hallway to ask how I did it.

I say, I am sick.

They say No, you’re an inspiration.

How could I not fall in love with my illness?

With becoming the kind of silhouette people are supposed to fall in love with?

Why would I ever want to stop being hungry

when anorexia was the most interesting thing about me?

So how lucky it is, now, to be boring The way not going to the hospital is boring.

The way looking at an apple and seeing only an apple,

not sixty or half an hour of sit-ups is boring.

My story may not be as exciting as it used to,

but at least there is nothing left to count.

The calculator in my head finally stopped.

I used to love the feeling of drinking water on an empty stomach

waiting for the coolness to slip all the way down and land in the well,

not obsessed with being empty but afraid of being full.

I used to take pride in being able to feel cold in a warm room.

Now, I am proud I have stopped seeking revenge on this body.

This was the year of eating when I was hungry without punishing myself

and I know it sounds ridiculous, but that shit is hard.

When I was little, someone asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up,

and I said "small."

Blythe Baird

[nescaveckwriter]

Moonflowers & Werewolves 🌝🐺 - Chapter Two

Teen wolf

Derek Hale x reader

A/N: Uhmmm hold on bugsies, this is a 'claw-biter' 🤣... Hope y'all enjoy 🐞🩷

Side Note: Starting to think of doing a rewatch maybe 😅🐞🤣🥹... Also thanks for the love and support 🐞🐞🐞❤️❤️

Warnings: Swearing light. Anger. Violence. Use of weapons, anything else let me know🐺🐞😍

Stops inches away from her, glancing at her and then at the moon, the wolf starts howling at the moon, as she stood there, to afraid to even move, she catches a glimpse of the wolf's eyes, it's sort of friendly looking, there's a sense of gentleness and familiarity about the blue orbs, but that's just plain crazy, she's never seen a wolf up close.

The wolf starts walking away, he suddenly stops, staring at her, not to growl, he just simply let's out a little whine, then he starts running deeper into the woods.

Barely breathing she stood there, unsure of what to do, unable to comprehend of what just happened, why the animal didn't attack her.

....

Panting now, as he stood there on the hill, looking out over the forest, cursing himself internally "what the hell was that?, how is it that still after all this time the full moon still has such an affect on him?"

"Her heart were beating rapidly" somehow he just couldn't stop himself from getting closer, hearing her cry, just drew him in closer, somehow it made him angry, who in their right mind would hurt her? Of course he would never attack her, but it's as if the rage inside of him made him see red, it bothered him seeing her like that, scratching the back of his neck, "why did it bother me so much, seeing her with so much hurt and sadness?" He regretted it the very second when he walked towards her, seeing the fear in her eyes, made him feel like a predator, but what was he going to do tell the poor woman "hey don't worry you've met me, I'm Derek Hale and I'm a damn werewolf, yes I can rip your throat out with my bare teeth, but I won't"

Hearing footsteps between the trees makes him growl, "Dad it's just me"

"What the hell Eli?" He hissed

"I'm sorry, you were gone for so long, I had to come and see if everything is okay" he stuttered

Instantly regretting his tone in his voice "it's fine son, I'm sorry, I'm doing okay, how are you?"

Mumbling "yeah good dad, can we go home now, I always feel so strange when the moon is full"

"I know son, you'll get used to it" he lied

"If only I can be more like you dad" he whispered, knowing his dad would still hear him

Giving him a half smile "no son, you don't want to be like me, you just be yourself, all your strength will come at the right time"

"Thanks dad, but what strength, I don't have any strength" he sighed

"Your my son, a Hale, a werewolf, we'll figure it out you'll see, but we can talk more about it at home. You have school tomorrow" he replied.

....

Still struggling to figure out last night's events, she starts going through the assignments, she gave the kids, there's some nice quotes from Marilyn Monroe, even a few from Hemingway himself, but the last one she reads, leaves her cold, 'Just because I am a predator doesn't mean I have to be a killer' glaring at the name on the page Eli Hale, "what does that even mean?" Thinking to herself, "I'll talk to him after class"

The bell ringing let's the children know it's time to go home, as she's the last class for the day, as the kids walks past her, she asks Eli to quickly stay behind.

He stops, "yes miss, something wrong?" He mumbles

Her voice is sweet "Eli, the assignment yesterday, you never wrote down, where you heard it from?"

Smiling almost proudful "my dad, taught me that since I were Little"

Trying to hide the judgment in her voice she smiles "oh that's nice, I were just curious, thank you, have a great day"

He just nods, says "goodbye" and walks out.

Trying to suppress the anger she feels boiling, "who would teach their kids that? What type of monster" shaking her head , "Since when am I such a bad judge of character, he looked genuinely nice!"

....

Pulling in her driveway, glancing over to her neighbors, shaking her head. As she gets out, she hears the man's smoky voice "hey neighbor" , contemplating if she should wave at him or just let it be, but she just can't control the anger.

"Excuse me Mr. Hale" she waves him down

He laughs a little "A bit formal don't you think?"

There's a fire burning in her eyes "what is the matter with you?"

Shocked "Excuse me Madison?"

There's anger and judgement in her voice now "why would you teach your son his a predator, what type of parent does that?"

His, green - hazel eyes seems concerned, "Look Miss Wells, what I teach my son, has nothing to do with you"

The color leaves her face, "your not even going to deny it? How are you trying to raise your son? To be a predator? To go on some sort of crime bender, what kind of father does that "

''You have absolutely no right to come and attack me, about the way I parent my son, so I would appreciate it if you leave'' he hissed

Her eyes darken, her voce sharp. ''I have every right to tell you, what I think, its my job to look after the kids of my class, so in opinion you are  a terrible parent and a horrible human being'' 

His heart rate is sky rocketing, he needs to fight harder than ever to not shift, folding his arms, to hide his claws coming out, feeling the sharp points piercing into his arm's flesh, his voice sounding croaky ''you need to leave right now, go away and don't ever come near me again''

Her eyes widening, ''fine, but this isn't over'' she mumbled 

He just turns around, closing the door, falling to the ground, ''what the hell is happening why can't I suppress the shift'' letting out a soft roar. ''Something aren't right!''

Walking to her house she could've sworn she heard a roar sound. Usually she won't back down so easily but something in his demeanor frightened her. Something about him, makes her feel frightened and intrigued at the same time.

---

As Eli walks into his  house he sees, his dad sitting at the dining room table, tapping his fingers on the wooden surface beneath, his go to thing, when ever his really mad. ''Dad, everything oaky?''

''No Eli, everything is not fine, why the hell did you think it was a good idea to write that little thing I taught you since you were a pup down and give to your new teacher'' he hissed

''Uhm Dad, I..I'm sorry, it was the only thing I could think off, I thought you'd be proud that I remember the stupid phrase'' he stuttered

''Dammit Eli, your a werewolf, that's a phrase to keep us human, to keep us from killing, you have any idea what you've done?'' he echoed

''I'm not a werewolf, not like you'' he stammered and ran upstairs, closing his bedroom door like just a teenager can.

''Eli, get down here this very minute'' he urged. Making a fist, almost smashing it against the table, but decides against it. ''I'm doing the best I can, dammit'' he mumbled underneath his breath.

The doorbell rang, as Derek opened it, he saw Sheriff Stilinski. 

''Hello Sheriff, with what can I help you?'' he sighed

''Rough day Derek?'' he acknowledged

''Two words, 'Teenaged son'' he hissed

''Been there, done that, just be glad you don't have Stiles as a son.'' 

Both men starts laughing.

''What brings you to my door Noah?''

''Well, something isn't quite right, some high school kids were hiking in the woods and found four bodies, two of them were human with bite marks but the other were your kind, and they were killed with silver bullets, but also, here's the part that doesn't make sense, there blood was black, as if they ingested some kind of poison but, I don't know what it is, the bodies are at the morgue, mind checking it out for me?'' he pleaded

A puzzled look on his face, ''yeah I'll check it out, give me a sec'' running upstairs, knocking on the door, ''Son, I'm going to leave , Sheriff Stilinski needs some help, I'm sorry about getting angry with you earlier, we can talk when I get home.''

Eli looked at his father, his voice distant, ''Yeah whatever dad''

Grabbing his keys, off the kitchen table, walking outside, glancing over to the neighboring house, seeing Madison carrying a box from the garage, realizing his been a full grown jerk, he needs to apologize, and think of some kind of excuse for his behavior all while making up some kind reason for the phrase. Gesturing he'll be right behind the Sheriff, he walks over towards her house.

Already catching the sweet scent of her , she smells like roses, sweet fruity roses, but the moment she turns facing him, he hears her heart starts beating faster, he can sense her fear, he just absolutely hates that this gently person is afraid of him. His voice low ''Hello''

Pursing her lips ''Hello''

''Listen about earlier, you just caught me on a bad time, and I were already stressed out, so I kind of took it out  on you, as for the phrase my son wrote down, it came out of some movie, the name I can't recall, but I will talk to him, well I tried but that didn't go well, anyhow I hope you'll accept my apology.'' he claimed.

Her voice a bit shaky, ''Its fine, I'm so sorry as well, and I didn't really mean your a horrible person, I can't make assumptions of people, like that,'' pouting now ''in a way I think I let my own anger and personal baggage spill over, so I'm so sorry'' 

Picking up she's a bit more relaxed  now and there's a soft smile forming on her lips, but before he can invite her to dinner or something, to show how sorry he is, he hears a different sound sliding through the wind. Turning around to where the sound is coming from, then suddenly hearing the exact same sound in another direction, his senses is heightened, hearing multiple heartbeats, some fast, some relaxed, forming almost a circle around them, the scents are human, the swooshing comes closer and closer, but he catches the arrow, and then the other one, but then there's multiple arrows, remembering the woman behind him, turning to face her, she's just standing there shock on her face, as he hovers over her, managing to pick her up as he ran towards the trees, she squirms and screams, but he doesn't really care, he needs to get away, drawing them after him and not after his son, while getting her too safety his eyes starts glowing, turning his hazel green eyes, into an electric blue, his back is pierced with multiple arrows, most probably laced with wolfsbane, as he feels his strength getting weaker and weaker, crashing down to the ground, seeing a man, most probably a hunter walking closer towards there position, he clings to her, for life, afraid they might think she's one of them, he pushes through the pain, gathering every last bit of strength he has left, first came the claws then the fangs, he starts roaring, warning what ever comes closer that he will attack, but the figure comes closer, until he...

Chapter Three Here :)

[valenteal]

I’ve been posting a lot about my thoughts on Dazai’s characterization and motivations but honestly I’ve been dedicating a lot more energy to trying to understand Oda. Dazai is an amazingly complex character but he’s a constant in the story and we know quite a lot about him, comparatively. Oda is incredibly mysterious and much harder to understand. My breakthrough earlier figuring out that Oda had the book has really helped me open my mind to another side of Oda I hadn’t yet considered.

The things is, authors have to be a bit cruel. Oda’s reasoning for not killing because he wanted to be a writer doesn’t make sense, we kill our own characters all the time. We put them through hell over and over for entertainment/to convey a deeper meaning. I think maybe one of the conditions of having the book is not killing directly, or maybe a certain level of removal from the storyline. Like, if you control reality and others lives with the book you’re giving up a certain amount of control physically in the moment.

Oda is a killer. He is friends with killers. And if I’m right about him being the author of the Dark Era he wrote the deaths of the kids. I think his reaction was genuine, I think he really felt like he shouldn’t have the book, that he didn’t deserve to be its author anymore, but I really think that he wrote the story to give Dazai the opportunity and the motivation to get a better life. I mean, I’ve made myself cry with my writing. The most compelling stories are full of tragedy.

Oda was a child assassin. He was a writer. He was a mafioso. But most of all he was Dazai’s friend.

Wait! Holy shit idea!

Okay so Natsume had the book before Oda, but he was definitely following Dazai around before he got the book so we know there’s already a connection there. I’ve been wondering why Oda was so attached to Dazai. But Natsume wrote the story he adored, the third installment which Oda finished was The Book. But what did Natsume write about? What exactly were the books Oda loved? What if it was Dazai’s story? What if Oda knows Dazai so well because he read his life story over and over and yearned to give him a happy ending? What if his whole motivation was to finish the story in a satisfying way? And everything from the orphan’s existence to Ango’s betrayal was to create an open ended story in which Dazai could potentially have have a better life?

Oda is such an incredible character. He’s full of contradictions until you actually start thinking of him as an author. We authors have strange minds, we love our characters but we put them through so much. Because we wouldn’t love them if we didn’t make them struggle, make them realistic and deep and meaningful. Oda knew the kids were going to die, he wrote it. But he got attached like anyone would. But he was done writing the story, all that was left was for it to play out. So he passed ownership of the book to Dazai and went to play his role.

Fuck I’m getting emotional omg Odasaku is wonderful. I don’t even care if the entire theory is wrong, I’ve figured Oda out with the information I was given and filled in the blanks. Asagiri himself wouldn’t be able to make me give this theory up.

Oda isn’t a good person with strong morals the way he presents himself. He does that to fill the mentor roll for Dazai and to get Dazai to make the desired decisions. He just a fan who was given control of the story by the original author and basically used all the writing tools ever to create a story in which the character he loved but who was tragically doomed and seeped in darkness could find some happiness. Just like anyone writing a fix-it fic. Accept his fix is canon.

Holy shit I’m a genius.

Don’t come at me you have no idea how proud I am of this! Either I figured out the most confusing character ever written or I have created a genius explanation that nothing will ever top (for me anyway).

[goatyuuji]

Hello, so it's Haikyuu ask game....

(I'm excited, because since the movie released, I've found many Haikyuu fans again )

a.) Who are your top 5 favorite Haikyuu characters?

b.) What are your top 5 favorite Haikyuu moments?

c.) Who are your top 3 favorite Haikyuu ships? Why love them?

Thanks if you want to answer....

Hi! AHHHHHHH I HAVE SO MANY HAIKYUU ASKS SITTING IN MY INBOX, I just- I get very emo while thinking about Haikyuu, so sorry to everyone who has asked me about Haikyuu till now...

Okay, not gonna lie but I LOVE EVERYONE SINGLE HAIKYUU CHARACTER, CAN I NOT SAY EVERYONE IS MY FAVORITE????😭😭😭 but if I had to choose top 5 with a gun to my head because that's the only scenario where I would think of choosing:

(1) Hinata Shouyo (is anyone even surprised anymore): Baby boy, sunshine incarnate, my most handworking baby, I need to meet him and tell him personally how proud I am of him.

(2) Tsukishima Kei: his character development and his growth is the greatest thing to witness and he genuinely so sarcastic and mean I love it.

(3) Kita-san: You ever encounter a character that changes the way you view the world, because that's what Kita Shinsuke did to mine. The words he says just, it just hits hard and it hits home.

(4) Oikawa Tooru: See I am not immune to incredibly annoying but endearing characters. And he nails that category with flying colors.

(5) Kenma Kozume: Oh he is someone I did not think I would like, let alone be on top 5 but Kenma really just full of surprises, especially post-timeskip Kenma, I fucking love that Kenma he genuinely one of the best, I wish him the best in life!

Sorry to Nishinoya, Tanaka, Tendo, Bokuto, Kuroo, Yachi, Kageyama, HoshiumI, Takeda sensei and many more I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH 😭😭😭🫂🫂🫂

Uhhhhhh my top 5 moments might contain some spoilers so guys please if you haven't read Haikyuu, PLEASE DON'T LOOK I BEG YOU(trust me it's better if you read it on your own or wait for the next movie installment):

(1) When you lost but you are still smiling because you finally FINALLY found your equal ah <3

(2) The little Giant vs The World's Greatest Decoy...Actually I applaud Furudate-sensei for even thinking of them like this because people were going on about Hinata would be jealous of Hoshiumi and how there would be a type of resentment between the two because they both might want the little giant title but Furudate said no and gave the greatest story about upliftment, finding your own self-identity and paving your own paths (writing this thru my tears btw I realise now why I don't talk about Haikyuu that much I just start crying lmfao)

(3) “it’s just a club” - this scene making top 5 because one, it’s literally PEAK FICTION and story telling and two, I saw my little sister ugly cried to this scene…shoutout to my little sister

(4) I am not even gonna say anything except the fact I was paralyzed in utter shock during this scene. Also this scene followed by Takeda sensei...I CAN NOT TELL YOU HOW IT CHANGED THE TRAJECTORY OF MY LIFELINE.

(5) The entirety of Brazil arc...Gun to my head I can't not choose one moment out of it because every panel, every interaction and everything about this arc is phenomenal

Also quickly my top 3 ships from hq would be: Kagehina (not immune to the soulmates agenda), Iwaoi (not immune to the annoying x annoyed but still loves agenda) and Tsukiyama (only yamaguchi can love this guy ngl)

[sleepyhoon]

omfg i used to be all up on ur acc when u were still new and i feel so proud of u cos i remember when u first posted ur enha textfics it would crack me up sm and i checked ur blog and i couldnt find more back then bc u were still fresh from the womb and i wanted to read so many more 💔💔💔and then i would keep gojng back and scrolling in ur blog bc u didnt have a masterlist yet so i turned ur notifs on to check if u posted a new textfic each time hahaha and i would keep bugging u hopefully politely and asked u for a masterlist for easier navigation in ur blog 😭😭 i cant believe its already been a year!!! and then when u posted more i would binge them and end up lowkey spamming u and i would unlike some of those posts bc i got scared that u would block me bc of my unintentional spams 😭😭😭 but i'm so proud that you have come all this way 🤭😋 you even post full fics now wow!!! I LOVE YOUR WRITING SM MANNNNN!!!!!

if i'm not mistaken, you're from america right? how is tiktok for you and what would you do about all your edits saved on there 😔

-- i've also noticed that you and intromortal were pretty close right? if it's okay to ask this (of course, just ignore this if not! <3), have they been doing well and are they alright because why are they suddenly gone? :( i wasn't updated on tumblr for weeks and i came back to find multiple of the lovely enha writers i've become familiar with have deactivated 😔💔 i found out a few days ago that they deactivated and that made me quite sad because her works were such fun reads ☹️

have a lovely day sleepyhoon <3 can't wait to see another part to your heeseung emo fic 😘

ps you have one of the best humor in the enha writing world platform 😭 seriously ur humor is just on another level and i personally think it's the best and it really is the type of humor i love the most. in my book you're the funniest person to me on here pls actually never leave </33

okayyyyy now why am i lowkey about to cry over this .

YOUVE BEEN HERE SINCE SLEEPYHOON NATION WAS FOUNDED THIS IS SO 😭😭😭 i gen cannot believe it’s been a year since i made my silly little text fics and OMG the amount of asks id get telling me to make a masterlist 😭 idk why i didn’t just make one from the start LOL but thank u for being patient with me also wdym u turned on my notifs and would wait for me to post this is so … pls don’t make me cry rn . thank u so much for sticking around and im so relieved and honored u enjoy my fics bc i was soooo worried when i started writing them but im so happy i did bc i loveeee writing for enha :,) and thank u for being proud of me 🥹🥹🥹 UR SO SWEET I CSNT TAKE IT ANYMOREEEE

and yes i am from america 🦅 that whole tiktok situation pissed me of soooo bad. i had saved my fave edits before the ban happened but the ban didn’t even last a full day so like 😭 IMO it felt like a stunt just to make us like trump and i’m not falling for it lol. but i would’ve been mad as hell if tiktok was gone fr but who knows maybe i’d be more productive without it bc it did take up most of my screen time LOL

and my intromortal!! my wife we speak everyday, here is a message from her! you can find her on @yangkkomi now !!

i hope you have a lovely day and i’m glad you’re looking forward to tethered pt 3 🩷🩷 thank u so much for the kind message <3

ps. i love u so much do u know that. did u know that compliments abt my humor go straight to my heart. did u know ur tugging on my heartstrings. ily.