#because what i like now i probably wouldnt have liked then. and vice versa. i cant personally vibe w seeking out me/anie mar/inez or ha/sey

[sirxlla]

You Have a No Kill Rule and They Dont / Vice Versa.

(Request @nesting-dreams)

--------------------------------------------------

Dick: "You know I really wish you wouldn't kill, it goes against everything I have ever agreed with." He had stated this over and over again and you had stated your side. This conversation always went in circles every single time until one or both of you gave up.

"Don't you understand it's wrong to kill?" He pressed relentlessly.

"Don't you understand that it never stopped anyone else in Gotham? Doing this would make sure that those out there can't harm or the innocent people of Gotham. Criminals won't stop killing just because of the fact that you don't want to do it. Meet then were there at, at least then they fear for their life, not a broken nose." You spit words at him like venom. The two of you parted the same way you did every single time with both of you being pissed off at one another.

By the time that bed came you two would crawl up into bed together with no issue like you didnt fight with him at all.

Jason: Before you knew everything about Jason and Gotham as a whole, you would have had these long conversations about exactly why it's wrong to kill people and everything along those lines. Those fights usually ended in screaming matches and someone if not both of you pissed off for several days. You had begged him over and over to just try it your way and for the most part he tried, at least it seemed like it from an outside perspective. If he killed he didn't do it in front of you.

He understood entirely that once you end someone's life or see it done you don't always sleep the best and that's why he never did it in front of you.

Now that he had let you in and you'd learned everything about Gotham, saw how horrible and rotten it was your opinion changed. You saw just exactly the type of people that deserved death and exactly what was the source for Jason's bloodlust.

Bruce: "Bruce, don't even start with that bullshit because if it was Alfred that would have killed them you would have had no issue with it and I know your track record with women and 99% of them kill people so I don't want to hear it because you're being hypocritical. I have no choice and if I didn't do it I would be dead now."

His face turned to stone that's definitely not something he wanted to hear. He often had a bad time being hypocritical and not understanding the entirety of what exactly was life and death considering he forgot you weren't him and you weren't some sort of badass that could take on whoever the fuck you needed to.

Even though the man was small that you had to end, he had a gun to your head and you had no choice but to shoot him through your bag.

Tim: He never wanted to fight about it but it was something that you definitely didn't agree upon. Tim was always kind and soft spoken when he tried to tell you not to do it. Tim was probably the most understanding on why you had such a similar view to Jason and Damian.

Tim had high hopes that there was always a redemption for a criminal. He had more hope than his father that maybe a criminal could change their ways. He saw cases like Harley Quinn and Azrael whom had turned corners and he hoped they's set examples for others.

Tim was always an optimist, he was so soft spoken about it. It was because of that that you eventually came out around to his ways, if he were so adamant and pushy about it you would have stuck to your guns but now you saw the kinder brighter side and how good some of these people could be if given the right opportunities.

Damian: It's something that always left a bad taste in your mouth, how Damian did it so easily without losing a hair of sleep but you knew how he was. He definitely tried to be less prideful in his kills while you were around cause its just something that you hated. In your mind a body's lifeforce was sacred, this is why you wouldnt even remotely begin to hold Damian's sword even if he asked you to hand it to him.

"It's such a sword." He would say as if the blade wasnt essentially stained with the blood of what felt like thousands. Even though it was something that puts such a bad taste in your mouth you were never going to tell him not to do it. It was just the way he was raised but you also didnt bother because the blood was on his hands, not yours.

The only thing that you had asked him to do in regards to that sword? To not bring it into the bedroom where the both of you slept because somehow in someway everytime he did, you had the worst nightmares and sleep paralysis.

(Send me some prompts if you'd like)

Masterlist

[lovphobic]

You ever just like rediscover a band you used to like, and miraculously still like them?

I did the other day with a band I had forgotten about and girl I am LOVING their new album! Good shit

im not sure i have! ive steadily enjoyed the same few artists since like 2018 and up until then i didnt really have a favorite artist i dont think? ik u said liked not favorite but liked is so so so vague

under that vaguess tho i still think my answer is the same. like before i had my steady few i mostly just liked stuff popular on here in 2015 (You Know.) and stuff on the radio, and i dont rly ever go back to those people for their new stuff so :^)

[norienoire]

a random smith-jiang sibs swap au that ive been thinking of for too long

im writing an element/role swap between kai and nya bc ive literally been obsessed with that au for so long,,,, im currently thinking about swap!kai and swap!nya and whatnot

swap!nya:

i always think of nya as a burnt-out gifted kid (haha i kin her), so when she doesnt get something, she gets frustrated and feels like quitting- couple this with the fact that her brother was kidnapped by walking talking skeletons that shes only heard of in myths and legends, and was taken to the underworld, and shes stuck doing this stupid training course that she just cant complete- well, thats just a bit more added pressure, isnt it?

and she doesnt have the best relationship with jay cole and zane initially but in the end, she wants to join the ninja and stay with them to protect ninjago. kai joins her because why not?- in canon, kai became a ninja only to save nya, and its similar in this au. she wants to save her brother, because hes the only family she knows and she wants to protect him for a change, rather than vice-versa, and later on- she doesnt want to be defined by him, she doesnt want to rely on him as much as she did earlier

(oh, and i think itd be hilarious for nya to be super protective of kai like how kai is of nya in the case of jaya- im thinking lava here? idk but yeah!)

and for swap!kai:

kais a protector, and hes a big brother- initially, the only reason he became a ninja was to protect nya. in this au, he joined the ninja and stayed with them in the monastery because nya wanted to. he doesnt have any powers (yet), so he feels out of place, and most importantly- he doesnt know what to do

kais one purpose in life was to protect nya, and now she doesnt need it, because shes the fire ninja. so where does that leave him? hes powerless, hes not strong- in fact, hes probably the weakest link of the team (if he even is part of the team- to him, theyre just nyas teammates, he doesnt trust them- the others want to understand him more, but he doesnt get that because hes too busy wallowing in self pity and misery)

he puts together something, maybe- heads back to four weapons and smiths a set of armor (i feel like kais better at making armor than at making weapons, idk why), becomes the red shogun (instead of samurai x, we have the red shogun), and we have that entire "whoever figures out the identity of samurai x will be the green ninja" thing but with the red shogun instead- although i havent really figured out a reason for kai to hide the fact that hes the samurai? maybe he wanted to tell them but then saw how much they hated the shogun, and he already felt so isolated and disconnected from the group (and especially his sister, who basically has a completely different life now), so he just kept silent? i dont know lol i still have to figure it out

but i dont want kai to have the samurai x mech (or any mech yet) because hes NOT tech savvy, like at all- he wouldnt be able to make a mech lmao. instead, he'd make a full armor set.

how does he get from one point to the other so quickly, though, you ask?

you will never know (<- has not figured that out yet, because i havent thought that far ahead, which may be a problem but oh well)

(maybe he just has a motorcycle that he stole borrowed. idk.)

oh, also, wu reveals that kai's the master of water much sooner here probably, idk

and kai's aquaphobic

so yeah thats fun, good for him! /s /lh

maybe ill elaborate more on this au soon! im thinking ships next? and then maybe ill talk about the red shogun next! (unfortunately i cannot draw)

[witchcraftandburialdirt]

👫 but any verse of your picking ... and for robibi and abel

✧ ━━ 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐃 "👫" 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒 𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐄𝐒

𝚁𝙾𝙱𝙸𝙽 𝙰. 𝙱𝙰𝚄𝙳𝙴𝙻𝙰𝙸𝚁𝙴 ; 𝙰𝚁𝙲𝙰𝙽𝙴 𝚅𝙴𝚁𝚂𝙴

A FIENDISH FEAST ━ We briefly discussed this, but I do think that Evelynn would continue to stalk around Robin even throughout the events of Arcane, simply because he exists in such a state of mental destruction that its an easy meal for her. Robin's relationships don't magically fix his issues, and he has so many issues with relying on others that he wouldnt want them to, and he continues to suffer throughout the series because of, not only, the universe's cold indifference towards him; but his own self induced misery. I think Eve is well aware that Robin will never heal on his own, and he would rather die alone than willingly let someone in and help him.

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE A HUMAN? ━ Jumping off of 1 because the idea has consumed me, we've always talked about how Evelynn discovers like ... the beginning of empathy/affection towards humans through Robin, and I still think that stands - however I think it gains even more traction in this verse since they spend even more time together now that Abel doesn't exist ( at least not in the same capacity ). I think Eve is going to learn a lot more about the human experience from Robin in terms of love, joy, grief, a bunch of the things she couldn't before due to their brief window together. Whether this speeds up her own growth, or makes her even more wary of people well ...

WORLD'S 1st AKALYNN SHIPPER? ━ Considering Robin's research material and Arcane going in whatever direction in the future, depending on how the timelines overlap I think it could be really fun if Robin brought Eve with him to Ionia, probably to study Flora but also please stop eating Zaunites. He'd see her and @kalijhomentethi getting cozy by the fire and be like "wow" but also 100% support it, wah I don't know its cute within all the pain.

WHERE ARE YOU? HOW COULD I MISS YOU? ━ I am a firm believer that the cup of life can be filled in various different ways, and I know that Robin grew attached to Evelynn's persistent stalkings. Whether it was knowing he still had a use to someone, or actually having someone to talk to and -- ok actually fuck it!! I was debating putting this because it is gross but I think its important! Robin hates himself. I don't think its a shock to anyone, and he is not mentally well at all when he bonds with Eve. There is a part of me that believes he would enjoy their bond partially ( at least at first ) because he has something worse to compare himself too. I think this would obviously shift over time, but in the beginning it would be such an easy thing for his damaged little brain to latch to; until he realizes he cares for her genuinely, and she for him. He'd feel awful about it later, naturally - because deep down there is love there. I briefly planned out what Robin experiences in the Hexgate Hell™ too, and shockingly, I know Eve was not present in any of them ... And yet, when he came back; oh - how he had missed her.

𝙰𝙱𝙴𝙻 ; 𝙼𝙾𝙳𝙴𝚁𝙽 𝚅𝙴𝚁𝚂𝙴

BFFLS - BEST FRENEMIES FOR LIFE ━ Ok now I can write about funny things. I genuinely believe Abel and Eve have this super complex camaraderie where they have this super big like ... man I don't even wanna say dislike?? They feel like the friends who shit on eachother 24/7 to the point where its concerning but as soon as you mention your concerns to them they'd scoff and laugh at you and call you stupid or something. Abel will tolerate a lot of Eve's shit and vice versa - def shit that they wouldn't from other people. Yet despite all of their constant bickering I do think they'd show up for the other in an hour of need. And then hold it over them for the rest of existence.

WEEKLY MEETINGS AKA. FAMILY DINNER ━ This is one of the most stupid, BEST ideas we've ever had Han it kills me everytime I think about it. Abel and Eve care about Robin a lot ( even if Abel doesnt really "get" it ), and the whole weekly family dinner thing is actually so sweet considering Robin had left his familial situation. They really do co-parent him together haha. But that being said, I think its like ... Thursday nights? Yeah. I have a running gag that Abel and Eve also do the "No no. I'm paying" "Well fuck you I've already called the restaurant" "well I CANCELLED YOUR CREDIT CARD" sort of thing that my old man likes to do. I think occasionally other people get invited, friends, lovers, maybe even sometimes work collegues if they're super pressed for time. Locations and level of fanciness changes weekly, but the food is always delicious because I know Abel scopes these places out.

TELEPATHY, ENGAGED. ━ These two are so old. SO OLD. They can 100% read eachother's emotions just by looking at eachother, like Abel doesn't even have a face 99% of the time but Eve can tell when he's like are you hearing this shit? I know Abel has actual telepathy to some extent and it is also very funny in my head to imagine them in this long ass meeting, both wanting to die, and Abel just whispers "You're making a face you know. Mr Neeks has already noiced." in her brain and she just kicks his foot and he just :) But yes I believe they can read eachother pretty well

FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT ━ I like to think they spar occasionally to keep their skills up, and because they're both very primal creatures, makes sense that the best way for them to process difficult emotions through physical violence. It gives a safe outlet and plus I'm sure it's fun. They're pretty equal in power too, so it would be a WHILE.

[kasaneteto]

its so hard to not let the roommate shit consume my thoughts 👎👎👎 i gotta get out of here asaaapppp

i got a plan & its looking like i’ll be able to be moved out come july. the cats are the only reason it has to be so difficult LOL i gotta get them used to their new roommate and vice versa. but at least im not in a limbo of “WHERE DO I GO WHAT DO I DO” im so thankful for the people in my life who have my back 😭 what would i do without brittany fr she is my ROCK and we ROLL!!!! ive almost escaped the horrid miasma of my roommate’s self-induced misery. im wondering rn why i wanted to salvage this friendship at all because not having to worry about his sensitive ass is so freeing. like i feel so much less bogged down. fucked up that i wasn’t able to see that until now. i do legitimately hope he can get better though like he’s so trapped in his own sadness feeling sorry for himself… nobody deserves to live like that!!!! i probably could’ve handled the situation better but honestly? its not my responsibility to be a saint towards him lol he hasn’t shown me any of that grace so theres no reason to try so hard for his sake. i am simply over it. it does suck tho that now he’s surely badmouthing me to all of our mutual friends and making himself seem like the faultless victim in all of this the same way he did to me and finn when his ex cheated on him. “ohhh they wont be my friend because i wouldnt give them the apartment” whatever helps you sleep at night bro. its because youre a self-centered prick and i think you know thats why. so you find someone to lick your wounds and tell you how mean the other person is being. its pathetic. i hope he grows out of it, genuinely. i think he could be a cool person if he wasn’t so trapped in this victim mentality

[nerves-nebula]

You do not have to answer all of these but these questions have been circulating my mind and I have been writing them down.

What would a gorilla shifter look like in human form, maybe just like a human but really hairy?

Do women moose shifters have beards?

Do women hyena shifters have pseudopenises or would that disappear because the biology has to translate to be human?

Can fish shifters become merfolk so they dont drown 500 ft below the surface?

Can all species have kids together and would they be hybrids or instead it would be a 50/50 chance between one of the 2 species of the parents?

Do they lay eggs in human form?

Would a pregnant person's fetus shift into an egg and then they can lay it early? Or would it not shift with them so they have to wait until they give birth before they can shift again?

Do they ever shift in the sleep and then like die because they were crammed into a tiny hole as a roach or something?

Does their human size relate to the species size? (As in msot elephants would be tall as humans)

Are the human body shapes always going to resemble the animal so that you can kind of guess what species they would be broadly?

Can anyone turn into a bacteria colony?

gonna adress these in order

a gorilla shifter in human form would look like a human. ive prolly done a bad job of showing this cuz i like giving characters animal traits, but their human forms are 100% human, and are only affected by their animal traits if they choose it to me. so wells in his human form would only have a tail if he decided he should, similarly Avin has simply decided to keep his sheep eyes at all points of time

some women moose shifters would have beards because some women have beards period, but i can see it being a cultural thing to keep some aspects of your animal form like that. so really it depends.

see above answers, they would be 100% human in their human forms and if a shifter had any genital differences in human form it would be unrelated to their animal forms

fish shifters can become mermaids if they want to, but they wouldnt look like fantasy mermaids and it would be kind of culturally weird. its not uncommon for shifter to mix human and animal traits, but living full time as a mermaid would definitely be seen as a strange alternative lifestyle

all species can have kids together in human form, and there's no chance of mixing the species unless you're animal forms could mix. so for example, a wolf and a coyote could have a coywolf kid, but a panther and a sheep could only possibly have panther OR sheep kids. about 50/50 is probably right.

i dont know. maybe if they really want to??? it's not a solid NO from me tho lmao

you do have to wait until your not pregnant again to shift, unfortunately. most people choose to stay in human form, especially if they're a mixed species couple. but if you were both dogs i think you could stay in dog form for however long dog pregnancies last. and some ppl chose to do that cuz the birth is easier that way.

no, your body would wake up or stop before that happened. though you can shift and partial shift in your sleep, its just not a sudden enough process to kill you.

not really? i mean from a design perspective i have a habit of taking inspiration from their animal forms to design them, but canonically i dont think the correlation is 100%. like you might have spots if your animal form does, but i dont think being a big animal necessarily means your gonna be a big human and vice versa.

also not really. sometimes they will, sometimes they wont. i think originally when i made this, they kind of did, but now i think itd be more interesting if the body types were more varied.

SADLY no. nothing that small

anyway, THANK YOU FOR BEING INTERESTED FASHDFSADFHSDAGA i was obsessed with this story when i was like 12 and i thought no one would ever care about it agsdhugshd

[diagonal-queen]

HI STILL NIGHTGOWN ANON. im a silly little fella. I JUST SAW THE OTHER POST. IM MOTIVATED. IM GLAD YOU LIKE THE IDEAS! ILL TRY AND THINK OF MORE.

- i see... so you have showed poe popipo?? alright next up on the chopping block: 'AaaAaaaAaa'

- i personally LOVE rabbits. Just imagine little karl with little holland lop bunny :) OKOK THATS MY PERSONAL PREF HAHA

- imagine reader is a fellow writer, and they meet at like.. this writing convention or something like that, going to like the same publisher/editor?? thats how they met

- what if you met through ranpo? again, reader also writes and has like weird ideas and hes like: i gochu. i introduce you to racoon man! you: .o. hes perfect.

- reader reviewing poe ideas and just being like: bro that wont work r u stupid

- reader sitting on poes lap while he writes and complaining about him writing too much

- poe gets a hand injury bc he writes too much and reader has to take care of him (babying him)

- poe and ranpo have 'friendly' playdates (although they like to call it a debate between skills) and reader like you said, is the mediator between the two.

- reader and ranpo are besties. poe being the sugar daddy he is, buys reader everything they want. reader then proceeds to take all snacks and stuff to share with ranpo. poe then has to monitor both of their sugar intakes because... well...

- poe babysitting reader and ranpo

- ranpo babysitting reader and poe

- trio being unsupervised (jk kunikidas there to save the day)

- ranpo dies and reader uses poe as therapy/replacement. poe accepts their date proposal because he liked them. OF COURSE RANPO WOULDNT DIE THOUGH BC HES TOO SMART I LOVE HIM

- vice versa. poe dies and reader uses ranpo as therapy/replacement. ranpo accepts their date/proposal because he had his eye on them. SAME THING THO HES TOO BABY TO DIE

IDK these thoughts came randomly to my head while i was writing them. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF MY LOVE! ❤️

nightgown you're like a stray cat that shows up every now and then but instead of me giving you treats you're giving me headcanons and i appreciate it because poe is the blorbo ever 🤧 i love all of these so much WHAT

poe can't get behind miku he'd be like 'BUT SHE'S A ROBOT ON THE COMPUTER. HOW CAN A ROBOT BE REAL' 'no edgar she's a vocaloid' 'THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE' lol, also poe lowkey really does seem like a bunny type. those rabbits are very cute <3

it would be very cute if poe and author!reader met because they had the same publisher but it would also be adorable if they met at a convention that they were both featured at and they were like huge fans of each other, so all the bookworms there who went to meet you and poe just watch the two of you awkwardly interact ksjskskjs

there are SO many ways you could fit ranpo into a poe x reader. i've written myself a little bit of a 'ranpo with a younger sister who likes poe's books meets him and falls immediately' already lmao but ranpo, knowing that poe can be awkward sometimes, would probably deadass just lock you two in a room with a bunch of pens and blank manuscripts and be like 'go on then' LMAO

poe's books and poems are basically always a hit but when he's tired and suffering writer's block some of his manuscripts are a bit iffy. you've had to help him out of his slump a time or two. get all the terrible drabbles out of his system before he finally presents you with another banger of a novel. don't be too relentless with him though he might cry

and of course the beloved poe scenario where reader is like 'POE STOP' and he's just writing light yagami style like 'NEVER'. he won't stop if you sit in his lap or complain though. he is a hard worker and very creative, and much like myself must get his ideas out or he'll forget them immediately. maybe if you manage to distract him somehow? put on the nightgown JYGSJKHKKJBRKTW IM SORRY

if he hurts his hand...imagine poe being so sad because he's physically unable to write- he'd definitely try anyway, but you need to be like NO, BAD. you do get to spend a bit more time together than normal which is nice, but once he's healed it'll take a miracle to pull him away from his desk

trying to be the diplomat for these two would be a nightmare. ranpo's silly, poe's awkward, they're both bickering ;-; at least if you team up with ranpo you can convince poe to buy the two of you candy (he really doesn't wanna, but...T-T). you two are far too excitable and talkative for his own good. on the flip side, ranpo would just give up taking care of the two of you immediately because EUGH romance and EUGH being quiet and EUGH socratic circles lmao

also you three are lowkey a menace to society. like in all honesty you solve crimes together and work towards a safer society but also, two chatterboxes being followed around by a tall awkward man wearing a cape and accompanied by a raccoon? yeah.

i would HATE to write a fic in which either of my beloved boys die but picture this- you're dating poe and he dies somehow. you and ranpo are very sad, you bond a little more after his death and eventually begin dating. it's been a while and you and ranpo are still together, but then poe reappears out of who knows where and sees that you're dating his best friend... (vice versa works too- either way it's the WORST)

[saltlickmp3]

ALso in that x files ep uhhh small potatoes thats the one. i knew what was coming cos i saw gifsets lol but the end scene where theyre both kind of awkward cos she thought that guy Was mulder. and she says 'i dont think you need to be told this but youre not a loser' and he says 'yeah but im not a [whatever that guys name was dennis or whatver] either' - like she thought she was opening up to mulder & yeah he was acting weird but like realistically she had little reason to suspect it wasnt him cos he. looked like mulder you know sh ethought she was telling him funny stories from when she was younger & hanging out & getting a bit tipsy and she wasnt entirely opposed to kissing him like she was nervous & hesitant sure but ofc she was.

& then the real mulder bursts in & she a) realises who she was talking to and b) obv embarrassed that shed been opening up to this guy who was kinda a creep but like it could have been A Lot Worse and c) mudler saw her about to kiss someone d) mulder saw her about to kiss. well. mulder. wild implications there*. e) she knows that he knows he saw her about to kiss him (theres a grammatical nightmare) and he knows that she was going to kiss him after a nice evening together which leads to his point that f) he doesnt think that He could do that. that despite everything he doesnt know if he has the nerve or the... social skills? or the general anything to be able to even get close to that point. like he doesnt think that could ever happen to Him even though im sure at this point hes considered it a few times. but now he knows that scully is....... idk whatevr she is!! like she doenst know her feeling for him for sure & vice versa & what are either of them supposed to do with that!!!!!!!!

& that guy saying 'i was born a loser. youre a loser by choice' to him like. mulder is well aware he's dug himself into a hole of insane dimensions due to the everything and in a another world he is a normal good looking guy with a college degree & probably a beautiful wife(/husband. imagine with me) but noooo he has to spend his life in the fbis basement & constantly in mortal danger chasing after shadows. & im sure he's spiteful about that sometimes but he has the strength of his convictions to pull him through. & scully has the strength of his convictions because he is holding this whole thing together through sheer force of will but could fly off the handle so so quickly. & scully keeps him grounded NOT !! in a 'only braincell mum friend' way but with her rationality & he is truly grateful for that but he'd never say it because. he just wouldnt. i think he gets around to it eventually. like anything happens to either of them - when mulder wanders into a gulag looking for evidence scully gets herself held in contempt of court cos she refuses to tell them anything about what he's doing until she knows for sure Real Justice will happen & scully gets abduction cancer & mulder (& skinner too lol) is threatening people over it. which is just!! so them!! mulder gets overly emotional & tries to use force & scully tries to use the system & point out the facts

also. the shapeshifter guy in mulders body being like. holy shit why does this guy like. suck. why doesnt he have a bed in his apartment. why are all his friends conspiracy theorists. what the hell. & then trying to look cool for five mintues which was so funny cos i can picture mulder doing the exact thing lol

personally i think mulder would be a fuck your clone kind of guy i was hoping he would say something weirdly homoerotic to teh guy while he looked like him in an earlier scene but it didnt happen. uhhh anyways

[6afurah]

On the future

So today ismail's vinyl came in. I'm going to hop over to amcorp on the weekends to see if i can find a good turntable for cheap. I think it'll be a nice gift ( also i kinda want one for myself and im sure he'll let me use it too lol ) The vinyl i got him even comes with a poster i am 100% he'll love it.

But on the topic of his birthday next week,

it's really got me thinking a bunch,

I honestly know he loves me and all that. Without a doubt, in terms of love u know. but i don't know, something feels off, aside from the love thing. could just be me being idk you know paranoid me. Yesterday we discussed about what music we wanna make, and started a playlist for it too.

he's really great, i honestly just feel less alone with this person because we love and want the same things, i've honestly never felt that way about anyone before like that, ive loved other people but i dont think ive really felt what it is im feeling for ismail.

i don't know, maybe it was just the whole marriage thing, He was supposed to marry salma and she's getting engaged, He also met someone else after me, but it didnt work out bcs apparently something something tak sama vision la entah aku pun tak tahu lmfao

I guess it just

annoys me i'm not a girlfriend yet, and even when i am a girlfriend,

why do i get the feeling that this person has no want to marry me at all. He probably doesnt, and i guess it makes sense since we're only on good terms now, 3/4 months

but we've known eachother for a while now, this all doesn't bother me that much to be honest, its just upsetting how my parents don't like him anymore n his parents dont even know i exist

like it all just got thrown out, it feels good writing this down i guess. I dont feel like talking to him about it bcs tbh If he wants to do something about us or make it proper, he has his chance to do so, I'll give him time but honestly, I hate how if someone came along and offered something more concrete that i'd consider it. i love him like on god, dont get me wrong, and tbh i probably wouldnt even budge if someone else wanted me, but i think I just want to be a part of his life again and vice versa, not some weird secret where it's just the two of us.

Whatever, thinking about this just makes me angry.

my birthday happened a few days back, being 22 is not relieving at all. I always feel relief when i get older but now it's just replaced with this weird sense of dread tbh

i missed therapy roday i totally forgot about it. also my left eye hurts and idk why but maybe i need to take a break on the whole eyelash extension thing kejap lololol

if it still feels weird ill get them removed.

i also feel like taking a break from social media, no particular reason, i think its just a thing i feel from time to time.

working at an office i realize, you're just sort of

waiting for stuff to happen most of the time and it gets really boring.

oh i also gained so much weight, like 8 kg idk how i did that but i'm hoping to lose the weight soon. I'm on a calorie deficit right now, but its sort of hard to be consistent since i eat out with people and not eating a normal amount kinda weird people out and i kinda dont wanna weird people out u know???

I wonder when gjie is going to come back to office,

i really suck at scripting radio ads lololol Idk its surprisingly kinda hard to do, and i think its because i dont know how to make something not too formal and not too casual.

I wish my radio station was a little more relaxed. Maybe one day, i'll make my own radio station. Idk its just a funny idea, but it would be cool i think. Just me and myself.

I dont think anyone would listen to it though,

i like to think i'm interesting as a person

but i think i'm not so great nowadays, i'm not as interesting as i thought i was. I also kind of miss my long hair. Its nice having less weight on your hair but , I miss the comfort of long hair, just made me feel protected

[starlight-writes-stuff]

hey! i sent in the ask for the party fic with ethan (which was so good holy shit) and i was hoping you could do the SFW alphabet for him? can I be ⚙️ anon, as well? (get it?)

⚙️anon (thats so clever ily for it) , welcome !! im sorry this took me forever , but here’s your sfw alphabet - this came so easy to me i spend too much time consuming ethan content - anyway ! i really hope you enjoy this ((: reblogs are always appreciated <3

AYO LOOK AT THESE : soft , fluffy ethan content , no tws ! also , yall rockin with the new blog theme ⁉️

a = affection (how affectionate are they? how do they show affection?)

ethan is incredibly affectionate in all senses of the word- big gestures, small moments, and everything in between. he brings you flowers or food quite often, just something small to show you that you were on his mind while he was out and about. you two would have a designated date night once a week where he’d clear his schedule to spend quality time with you; either taking you out to dinner or cooking and watching movies at home with spencer. also, ethan would definitely go out of his way to do little things around the house to help you out - washing the dishes, vacuuming, folding the laundry. however, ethan wouldn’t shy away from larger gestures of affection, either: he’d take you on surprise vacations or road trips for holidays or anniversaries. 

b = best friend (what would they be like as a best friend? how would the friendship start?)

being ethan’s best friend would be so much fun. he’s definitely the kind of guy that would send you a text when he was 10 minutes away from your house because he was bored and wanted to go do something together. you’d never be bored around ethan- he can talk for hours, and would 100% know how to make you laugh, even if the two of you were just chilling on the couch. a friendship with ethan would be filled with adventures; concerts, midnight snack runs, campouts in the backyard and lots of fun with spencer. 

c = cuddles (do they like to cuddle? how would they cuddle?)

yes, 100%. thinking back to unus annus, ethan was a vvv touchy guy with mark, and i think that would only be amplified with his significant other- touch is one of his love languages, for sure. he’d be the type to always have some soft of physical connection; a hand on your thigh while he drives, mindlessly drawing patterns over your skin while your working, aways holding your hand in public type beat. if ethan wasn’t getting your attention when he wanted it he, would not hesitate to pick you up over his shoulder and carry you to the closest soft surface before plopping you down and wrapping you in his arms. i think he’s probably a fan of having you laying on your side, facing him so that he can hold you, but still see your face/ talk to you. he’d also love laying on your chest because he’s such a boob guy but that’s a conversation for another time ,,,,,

d = domestic (do they want to settle down? how are they at cooking and cleaning?)

i think that if you and ethan were committed and had been dating for a while than he would absolutely want to settle down- but i feel like dating ethan would also include being around each other all the time (constant sleepovers while you aren't living together) so it wouldn’t be that drastic of a change. while he was living on his own, though, ethan obviously had to take care of himself, so he taught himself to cook and clean and do general, domestic tasks. i think he’d be a really good partner when it came to things around the house like that; ethan would always do his fair share and would pick up anything that you needed him to. 

e = ending (if they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

ethan just comes off as a very feeling, sensitive person (his brand is literally soft boy what do u expect), so i think breakups would be really hard for him. he wouldnt break up with his s/o until he was 10000000% positive that it as the right choice, and had thought through it multiple times. even then, it would rip his heart out to end things- he wouldn’t be afraid to show his emotions. ethan would definitely break up with whoever he was dating in person- he knows that he owes them that.

f = fiance(e) (how do they feel about commitment? how quick would they want to get married?)

okay, this one is up in the air for me. i definitely feel like ethan would settle down with his person and be completely loyal to them- thats a no brainer. i just don’t know how he feels about marriage? i feel like ethan wants a life partner, i just dont know if he would marry them. (this could 1792049384% be my personal bias peeking through because i think marriage is fkn weird, but for some reason i think he would too ????? maybe thats just me)

g = gentle (how gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

ethan is just ,,,,, soft hearted, dude. he’s just gentle in general. i think emotionally he’s a total teddybear, and he feels all his emotions incredibly deep- he rules with his heart, for sure. he wants to make sure that everyone around him is happy, and if they arent, it would affect him more than he’d like to admit. physically, ethan can vary- like i said, he’s always touching you in some way, but i think he’d be down for getting a little rougher in bed when you guys want to. 

h = hugs (do they like hugs? how often do they do it? what are their hugs like?)

ethan is an envelope-the-whole-ass-person kinda hugger, hug-with-your-whole-body type deal. if you look at pictures from unus annus, even old old pictures from the tour he did w/ mark, ethan is always completely wrapped around someone, hugging them with everything in him. i think if his s/o was shorter, he’d love to stack his head on top of theirs, and if y’all were around the same height, he’d bury his face in your neck. he’s very huggy- when you’re out and about, he’s always hugging you from behind, pulling your body closer to his. i also think ethan would love koala hugs, where he was sitting and his s/o wraps their arms and legs around him- he’d sit like that forever, rubbing up and down your back.

i = i love you (how fast do they say the l-word?)

hhhhhhhhhh don't clock me for this one, yall- if ethan was feeling some type of way, he would tell you. i don't think the length of the relationship would matter as much to him as the intensity and depth of his feelings; if ethan really truly loved you and wanted to say it, he would. he’d definitely preface it with the fact that you didn’t have to say it back, that he just wanted to get it on the table and out of his head. 

j = jealousy (how jealous do they get? what do they do when they’re jealous?)

ethan would be very secure in his relationships, and i think it would take a lot to get him jealous. however, when he was,,,,,,,, it wouldnt be pretty. like, at all. if it was a situation where someone was hitting on his s/o, he wouldn’t step in until you’d already tried to get them to leave you alone- not because he didn’t want to, but because he knew that if he did, it would get ugly. when he did step in, he’d start by saying something (not kindly worded, but to the point), and if that didn’t work i don’t think ethan would be above getting physical- he’s extremely protective of you. 

k = kisses (what are their kisses like? where do they like to kiss you? where do they like to be kissed?)

I THINK ABOUT THIS A LOT AND I HAVE SO MANY THINGS I'D LIKE TO SAY SO THIS ONE’S GOIN IN BULLET POINTS , GANG

okay- ethan loves to kiss you. he just loves kisses- they feel so personal and intimate to him, and he kisses you all the time, everywhere

he’ll dip you and kiss you in the middle of the grocery store aisles, he dgaf

but i think his favorite spots for kissing you would be your forehead, your lips (duh), collarbones/shoulders, down your spine and on your inner thighs hngggggg

but it goes vice versa too

ethan wants ALL your kisses . all of them , everywhere

He’s such a sucker for you kissing his neck and you cant talk me out of that (:

l = little ones (how are they around children?)

cute. literally so cute. i think that ethan would love other people’s kids, but definitely doesn’t want any of his own- at least, not right now. however, with other people’s babies he is S O F T; he loves to hold them, and would absolutely offer to try and calm a crying baby down, rocking them and singing soft lullabies to calm their woes. i also think that he would LOVE toddler aged kiddos- like 3-6. he’d be cool uncle ethan, playing catch with them, taking them to the park, finding games to play and always letting them win. he’d totally try to teach them how to ride their bike, or how to do a cartwheel, or how to jump off the swings for maximum height. ethan would totally bring them a fun lunch at school or sneak the kid’s favorite candy over to them and eat it together in a secret spot.

m = morning (how are mornings spent with them?)

mornings with ethan would be slow and lazy and filled with golden light filtering in through the blinds. if he woke up first, ethan would be as soft as humanly possible in order not to wake you up & would sneak downstairs to make coffee and start breakfast for the two of you, sometimes bringing it up to surprise you with breakfast in bed. the two of you would spend an hour (at minimum) in bed together, waking up and peppering each other with soft pecks all over. i think ethan would be extra soft™ in the mornings- he’d be super cuddly and affectionate. 

n = night (how are nights spent with them?)

nights spent with ethan would always hold a sort of unexplainable magic- there’s something about the thought of falling asleep next to him thats just so… comforting? he’d be so warm and easy to fall asleep with, all soft and hazy and gentle; he’d fall asleep holding you as big spoon, but when y’all woke up he’d be wrapped in your arms, laying on your chest. also, if you were having a hard time falling asleep, ethan would stay up with you, talking through whatever was on your mind even if he was barely able to keep his eyes open. 

o = open (when would they start revealing things about themselves? do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

i think that ethan would open up more and more as the relationship progresses, going along with the natural advancement of things unless something happened that made it crucial for him to open up; if that did happen, though, you wouldn’t have to pry anything out of him. ethan is a pretty honest, open person and wants to be transparent with you always- trust is something that he values above all else and he wants to remain very truthful with you.

p = patience (how easily angered are they?)

ethan is incredibly patient and understanding- it would take a lot to truly upset him. sure, the two of you would get into little tiffs here and there about stupid things, but the small arguments would be resolved within the hour with lots of hugs and kisses and soft “im sorry”s. however, if yall managed to get into a big argument, i think it would take ethan a bit to calm down and he would want to put some space between you two while he did- not to anger you any further, but to make sure that he didn’t say anything he didn't mean. ethan has a bit of a temper while he’s angry, and he wouldn’t want to say anything just to hurt you out of anger. after he cooled off he would come back and be willing to re-examine whatever had caused the issue with fresh eyes. 

q = quizzes (how much would they remember about you? do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

if you’ve watched ethan ever, you know that the sweet bby doesn’t remember shit (cue the instagram live thats purpose was to help him remember a word)- but listen. i think that ethan would go out of his way to hold on to little pieces of information about his s/o, and would put so much effort into trying to remember little details. he’d store them in his brain (things like your favorite flower, the brand of chocolate you like best, etc) and reference them when he needed. 

r = remember (what is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

a couple moments would stick out to ethan - when y’all first met being his favorite. he’d remember every detail of the moment he was first introduced to you; what you were wearing, where you were, what y’all had been doing that night. it was something that he though about a lot, actually- he loved to reflect on the way you’d blushed as he’d introduced himself, how you’d hugged him at the end of the night. 

s = security (how protective are they? how would they protect you? how would they like to be protected?)

ethan isn't possessive, but he is incredibly protective of you. he secretly hates whenever someone flirts with you, even if it’s strictly platonic- you're his s/o, and he doesn't want anyone thinking any different. like i said earlier (reference letter j), ethan wouldn’t be afraid to step in and put someone in their place of they were getting a little too friendly. he likes when you’re protective of him as well, even if its something very subtle to show that he’s spoken for, such as calling him a nickname or dropping a kiss on his cheek.

t = try (how much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

romantic ethan my belOVED- he would try so hard. ethan would plan surprises for you for weeks before they would unfold, even roping your family and friends into his schemes. He’d be so creative with date ideas too; picnics, art classes, different seasonal excursions around california. For bigger occasions like anniversaries, holidays, birthdays and all that, ethan wouldn’t hesitate to go bigger- i definitely think he would take you traveling. he wants to see the world with his love :,)

u = ugly (what would be some bad habits of theirs?)

ethan bites his nails, which is why he’d had you paint them- he’s trying to break the habit

he’s a very sweary human, but so are you; the only issue is he has no filter and accidentally swears in front of kids all the time lmao

v = vanity (how concerned are they with their looks?)

eh. ethan is more particular about certain aspects of his appearance over others, but he’s generally well put together. he likes for his hair to look good, though- that’s the one thing that he’s picky about. 

w = whole (would they feel incomplete without you?)

ethan is his own person and is able to function on his own, but the two of you have developed a sense of codependency with each other, like any couple does. he can’t see his life without you at all anymore, and would much rather have you around than not. the two of you have fallen into a flow together- you and him against the world. life is much easier when you have another person on your team, and he’s honored that he gets to play that role for you. 

x = xtra (a random headcanon for them.)

(this may or may not be a lil hint to a fic i'm working on shshhshshhhhhhhh)

on the night unus annus ended, ethan was a wreck - rightfully so

he had a bit of an existential crisis , and started to spiral a bit

you were worried about him , and knew that he would just continue to get into his own head

so you got him out of bed

and took him on a v special date

thats all for now ;)

y = yuck (what are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

ethan wouldn't like smoking (nicotine), and if that was a habit that you were willing to budge on, he would really try to help you break it. 

overall, ethan is a very considerate and kind person, so someone that was rude or had a sense of entitlement just wouldn’t fit well with him.

z = zzz (what is a sleep habits of theirs?)

ethan can’t fall asleep without background noise. his brain gets too loud when he’s just in bed in complete silence, for better or for worse; sometimes this leads to great video ideas or new concepts for the channel, but other times it just lead to him overthinking his life. when it was that kind of night, ethan would fall asleep to soft music or one of those white noise apps- then he became dependent on it to be able to fall asleep. something about filler noise managed to calm him right down and lull him to sleep, and he pays $5 a month for the premium version of his favorite white noise app.

[passable-talent]

I got an Anakim request! I hope it’s sufficient tho lol, perhaps Ani and Jedi!Reader training? What color would readers lightsaber be? Who’s their mentor? *le gasp* mutual unconfessed love? *swoons*

this felt more like a headcanon request so OFF THE FUCK I GO

ps. have u ever seen a boy as babey as the gif below

- gotta love 2 dumbass 18 y/o padawans 

- personally i’m in love with a fire-orange sabre. they signify a very skilled saber user and someone who isn’t afraid to get their hands dirty

- which is. fun. bc its the opposite on the color wheel to anakin’s blue. hmm

- mentor. is a hard question. 

- i’m aware its unlikely that a council member would take on a padawan but i love the idea of being trained by Mace Windu (if you hadn’t noticed in a previous request or two) for a few reasons

- 1) who doesn’t love mace windu

- 2) future FURTHER angst as vader leads to his death. imagine your bf turning evil and also killing ur dad

- 3) how furious windu would be when the one padawan he didn’t want to be trained ends up being your best friend?? 

- 3b) like especially when you’re older and anakin is just constantly a dumbass in trouble with the council windu will loathe that of course its his very well-behaved padawan who’s friends with Kenobi’s little trainwreck

- as anakin’s got the piloting and the force under his belt, you’ll see me very often in reader inserts refer to the reader being good at strategy / blade skills / psychology. yk. balance and all that

- which leads to shenanigans as anakin has never thought ahead a day in his life and when reader strategizes they either plan for anakin being a dumbass or they have a very stern talking to him to ensure he doesn’t fuck up their carefully constructed plan

- (spoiler alert. he fucks it up anyway. he’s just like that.)

- anakin: “no battle plan ever survives first contact with the enemy” 

- reader: “just because master Kenobi said that once doesn’t mean you can use it as an excuse every time!”

- or, alternatively, reader: “i wouldnt be upset if the enemy ruined my plan. but somehow, it’s you, who should know the plan, that messes it up”

- playful banter, as seen above. 110% of the time. if he isn’t teasing you, he isn’t breathing. 

- literally you’ve used this in battles to notice when he’s wounded. if he’s not teasing you he’s literally not okay

- and vice versa! you weren’t a very outspoken person before you become close to him, now you’re the fastest comeback cowboy in the west

- you have a variety of nicknames for him. your favorite (and mine tbh) is “quick fire”: a pun with like 3 different layers which is why i find it so funny

- you stay up late together, studying or practicing or meditating. a few times when you were 15, obi-wan would find the two of you passed out on either side of a table with history books spread between you

- and once with his head in your lab when, to quote Master Obi-Wan Kenobi, “he was left here to practice his meditation!”

- (”i meant to wake him, master, but he looked so peaceful.”)

- you tried to impress some strategy into his head. it worked- kinda. now he just comes up with strategy after he’s already messed up the original plan. 

- it becomes his thing and it serves him well in the clone wars, and keeps him alive, but. it can be annoying. 

- you know that ‘tense training together’ trope? yeah, take that, dial it up to eleven, and multiply it by lightsabers. 

- sweat. heavy breathing. intense eye contact. the humming of a training-saber. 

- anakin: “let me know when you’re tired and i’ll start going easy on you.” reader: “this isn’t easy? i pity your skills.” 

- his neck is uh. nice. when it has a training saber forcing his chin up. 

- if he pins you down, the match doesn’t end, it just changes... 

- now it’s about who will back down first. 

- usually, you do. you know that whatever you feel for him, and he for you, isn’t supposed to be how a jedi feels. 

- he isn’t afraid of the order. a jedi is meant to be compassionate, and he feels compassion toward no one more than you. 

- the padawan braid, as it grows, needs to be taken down and rebraided occasionally. this happens about once a year. 

- when you were 14, it was just something to do together, but by the time you’re 18, braiding is somehow the most erotic thing you’ve ever done

- not in a sexual way but like.... the intimacy, bro

- his hair. the way he kneels in front of you and trusts you to do it. letting your fingers brush his neck. you get to look at his shoulders

- and the same when he does yours. goosebumps always rise whenever his fingers swipe your skin. either he doesn’t notice, or he doesn’t mention it. 

- if he’s not with obi-wan, he’s probably with you. you’re just... you’re best friends. 

- and when he starts getting older and more dramatic and more likely to disobey the order, the first thing he does?

- allow himself to be more than friends with you. 

-🦌 Roe

[the-blackdale]

Hey ire CONGRATS AGAIN ON 300 AAAAAAAAA *loads of hugs and kisses mwah

are- are we close moots? 👉👈 can I have a 🐙 please and thank you

(also hmm how have things been with maya(is that the name we gave her I forgot) try to grab her attention by cracking a few jokes maybe.?)

Afafaf bestie yesss !! We're like super close moots how can u doubt it ??! Anyway, I think ur katie from shang-chi, yk just a Bubly fangirl who is super smart and all, I just think she give 'you' vibes

↑ bestie goals, that's u and me 🥰 ↑

Ok, no because the above was all bubly I didnt wanted to spoil it's vibes, yes !! You got her name correct !! but yesterday was the worst !! There were two seats on the both side of me empty, and she did not come and sit next to me :( I messed up the first half of the class sulking over that, and then my anxiety worked up in the second half, because if reason I tell you, you'd think im probably a psychopath or overdramatic or still hung up over my ex-crush but what happened is that a tution friend of mine was sitting at a diagonal from me, and he looked exactly !! EXACTLY, like a guy from school I had a crush on and it was so scary, I legit myself thought for a moment that im going crazy it was THAT insane !! Anyway, I was →← this close to self harming at that time because if I wouldnt,I would've legit screamed or cried in the class.

Ok, that sounds overdramatic, but I genuinely have like a lot of trauma because what basically happened is that just because we sat next to each other for two day, everyone in school started the rumours that we are dating. I didnt even had a crush on him that time, and then he started ignoring me, we were good friends, and then we didnt talked for a year, next grade we again became friends when the rumours subsided, note that its started when I was in 4th grade, and now we're in 5th, so we became friends again and they strated teasing us again, but this time instead of ignoring me, he started blaming me that I spread this rumours ??! But nvm because i thought he spread those rumours too so it was vice-versa.

What was worse was when in a skt class, our teaher asked a student to make a sentence with garden, and he (lil piece of shit, always teases me, but still like a bro to me, ughh idk why I hang with ppl like these) he said ''my name' and 'my ex-crushe's' name are sitting in a garden together' and mam !! That freaking sanskrit mam !! Who freaking knows whats going on !! Knows that he is teasing me !! Write THAT freaking sentence on the freaking board !!!! Thank god that our classes were divided at that time and 'ex-crush' went to some other class. But that was on the freaking board for anyone to read. And its only starting !! What happened next was mam didnt erased it before leaving the class, with some cursed twist of fate, the said ex-crush came just before I could go and erase what was written, he reads it and istg I would've legit died there of embaresment. And teh guy who told mam to write that, he and his gang™ come and corner me, and like all of them are friend to me, but they corner me and they start screaming that ohh look someone got a lil crush, look who is head over heals in love. And im having the 'sliding down the wall crying moment'™ because its all too noicy !!

And then our Maths mam comes and shoo's all of them away, takes me out of the class and asks me what happened. Now she is a friendly and all mam and I was her fav student so ofc she is concerned. And I tell her what they said about me and some random person dating and its all lies and THAT FREAKING TEACHER !! She gave me this 🌝← look and said,' well, are u sure ur not dating him ?'

And lemme tell you, If I wasnt so frustrated already, I would've known that's he was kidding, but me being me, started fucking crying and I told her I don't want to attend her class, im going to the medbay and im just gonna sit there and die (I said that, no kidding) and she even let me, I was surprised, but gratefull and spent that period in medbay while the teacher scholded the rest of the class for bullying me. She even complained to the class teacher and the next day, the bullies got another scolding, which was embarrassing for me because ethey were my friends, but meh.

This is one (1) of the many bad insidences which happened due to that rumour, and the other are worse, so when I saw that other dude in tution. Looking like my ex-crush, who I also havent seen of or think about for the past two years, I lost it. I think the girl sitting next to me saw me punching my bag but didnt said anything, as for maya, she never cared 😔

Sorry I went on a rant, 🥺 u just asked and I needed to tell someone. u don't have to read any of that if u don't want to im genuinely sorry.

[wizisbored]

you are absolutely right, she'd be terrified, of course she'd have a stick to literally distance herself from bj. My mind just immediately jumped to the two of them vibing and just completely skipped past the Important Stuff first lol

also uh major props to her for establishing that stick rule thing, that must've taken guts. I know bj isn't exactly gonna act the scariest around her, but he's still a demon, and she still established that rule, good for her

how long ish does it take before lydia starts to warm up to beej by the way?

also how does bj figure out how to initially hide lydia in the netherworld? It took him a few years to figure out the fake demon/name binding thing in og bugebroph, and while I don't think he'll take that long this time, what's his original method of hiding her?

Oooh wait does lydia meet argentina, and if she does, what does she think of her?

and uh that's all for now, but I will come back with more questions later, I am many thoughts head full in love with this au bestie

lydia is terrifed but she tries to have the guts to stick up for herself. tbh those guts would probably get her seriously hurt if she really was with a demon with sinister plans, but in this instance they get her some breathing room and mildly annoy beetlejuice. and while beetlejuice isnt being the scariest towards her im probably going to characterise him as a bit harsher than he is in bugebroph. in bugebroph hes intentionally raising lydia for shits and giggles and has a strong bond with her, in firstborn having lydia is a problem he needs to find a solution to and she is not co-operationg with finding that solution. he gets that shes scared of him but hes not incredibly emotionally inteligent or empathetic and he gets tired of her screaming at him to stay away if hes an inch past the sticks length. like im not going to write him as a full on arsehole but im going to take a bit more of his arseholish traits into account, yknow?

and this is where i realise i have not properly explained this au, or at least not explained the ideas ive had after coming up with the bare bones premisce, because where i am currently in where i think this will go the netherworld isnt featured at all. in an effort to take this concept i liked and really make a new fic out of it i made a few decisions that mostly served to go in the opposite direction to bugebroph. so theyre in the living world, and lydia isnt going to trust beetlejuice quickly. in fact her warming up to him and vice versa is probably going to be the main focus of the overally story, or at least the chunk i have an idea for. lydia wont be bound to a name or passed off as a demon, but she does have another name, and im toying with the idea of her being traded to a demon irreversibly linking lydia in to the supernatural world, but im not sure on that one yet.

but that being said, if they do end up in the netherworld at some point, lydia wouldnt need to be hidden. in demon terms he aquired her legitimately this time. if anyone asked he could just tell them he made a deal for her fathers firstborn and theyd probably congratulate him. only potential issue is the fact that him letting her stick up for herself would be seen as weird, though i doubt beetlejuice is an incredibly well respected demon anyway.

[theunconcernedembalmer]

what’s the issue with elisop? is it just bc you hc aesop as ace? im so concerned by seeing ppl adamantly opposed to mlm/wlw ships but im also genuinely curious about why you dislike it and other lgbt ships so much lol

hmm. that is a strong accusation, n i find it just a bit odd. are you new here? or perhaps you are taking personal offense at my dislike towards a favourite ship of yours and using the lgbt argument as moral high ground?

whatever the case may be, i thank you for asking. if u r truly looking for an answer, its below the cut n it is very very long. mind u these are all my personal opinions n i am in no way policing how others enjoy ships. just in case this wasnt clear; i dont wish to start discourse on this blog, especially since my takes are probably... unpopular.

firstly i would like to address the “disliking lgbt ships” bit, because this has very strong implications in itself. i have nothing against lgbt ships. i enjoy them, even. if the two characters have chemistry between each other, i ship it. however, the moment characterization is broken for the sake of romance, i lose interest. this is generally my stance on ships in general, n this applies for both straight n lgbt ships. 

the ships themselves are fine. however, i do have issues with the ship dynamics, so ill let u in on that.

i want to touch on mlm ships in particular; i believe u are familiar with the top/bottom dynamic that is rampant in these kinds of ships? (i wont deny that this dynamic can be found in other types of ships, but for arguments sake i will be focusing on gay ships because i feel that this occurs more commonly here) its such a popular dynamic that is prone to stripping the personality from one if not both characters, only for them to be reduced to being dominant/submissive. for a character to be pigeonholed into a stereotypical category based on... preferred sexual positions? its just downright insulting, never mind the larger more problematic implications of it. top/bottom is not indicative of someones personality, by the way. flattening multi dimensional characters into these stereotypes is so so so insulting.

unfortunately this is The Most Popular portrayal of just about any gay ship around. ive seen it being used everywhere in so many fandoms n it just about becomes apparent to me that ppl come to stories looking for a Ship. not the stories, nor the characters, just a ship. while id like to say theres nothing wrong with that, keep in mind not everyone is just looking for 2 characters that look pretty next to each other. if i ship something, i see interesting n meaningful interactions between 2 characters, which is so often not the case once u bring in the top/bottom dynamic. why is it so popular? because somehow this is what ppl like from a gay ship n hence it sells. ppl want the drama, characterizations be damned. ppl want to see the big kiss that happens in the end, n maybe the sexy parts that come after. characterizations be damned.

so u can say im a little wary of gay ships when they cross my feed. hell, as a joseph aesop shipper i see this trope everywhere n im pretty disappointed as well. small tangent but i feel like this is the reason why zh0ngli n ch1lde is so popular in g3nshin. i try to see the appeal, i really do, but after a long while of analyzing their respective characters i dont think they have as much chemistry as ppl think they do. dont even get me started on how incredibly ooc they make either of these very interesting n unique characters in ship portrayals. all because of the top/bottom dynamic that ppl want to see. i say this for that particular ship, but this is pretty much the case for a lot of ships out there, n the latter part is painfully true even when the 2 characters do have potential between each other. ill say it again im disgusted by the blatant disrespect to the characterizations if all ppl ever want is 2 pretty puppets to mush lips together. cos thats what theyre essentially reduced to this way.

n its so obvious to see when an artist subscribes to this rhetoric, because u can so clearly see it in the way they draw their characters. the “top” generally has sharper features to go with their “dominating personality”, while the “bottom” has disturbingly softer, feminine, dare i say sometimes child like features “to submit”. n thats where the uwu soft gay trope comes from, i believe. which, in case u still dont know, i hate with a burning passion.

so again for ppl with impaired reading comprehension, im fine with ships, including lgbt ones, but the moment u break characterization for the sake of the ship, im not that okay with it. u want to do it for a short crack comic? fine. but if thats the only way ur portraying the 2 characters then im immediately wary of ur content. ill still look at it cos usually the art is really good, but im very very wary. so im not “adamantly opposed”, just very critical of how the ships are being portrayed. if other ppl want to enjoy their ships like that, sure. just dont expect me to join in on something i dont agree on.

.

now id like to address not shipping “because i hc aesop as ace”. for ppl who are new to the blog (hello there), im an ace in a romantic relationship, so thats definitely not the reason i dont ship elisop. its more of being in a relationship has largely shaped my views towards romance as a whole. even before i met my boyfriend, i hated the romance genre in stories n media. most of it comes off as incredibly forced, especially those love triangles they seem to love putting into teen novels. thats one reason why i stopped reading when i was younger, but i digress.

did i partake in shipping when i was younger? i did. for a gay ship too (if anyone really wants to know, its kurotsukki from haikyuu. at least this was one that i can remember, i was mostly working on my 20 odd ocs for the longest time). i also used to write little short romance ficlets that i never posted anywhere cos i hated (n still do hate) my writing. but writing romance when u dont have experience was really just a way of projecting n probably a way of coping for myself, not that i knew at that time. but after i actually started a relationship with my boyfriend (whom i love n cherish a lot thank u very much), i began to see how much all these have skewed my views towards romance n have actually done some harm to our relationship. the bullshit that the general media feeds u constantly doesnt help in the slightest either.

quick topic shift to elisop in particular (about time, right?). i already stated that i only ship characters if i sense chemistry between the two personalities, n if u have seen the part where i dont ship elisop then u must have seen how agonized i am over not being able to have a concrete personality for eli. that is the main problem i have with elisop: eli does not feel like a solid character to me. n that is a huge problem, because if he doesnt have any defining characteristics besides being mild n nice, then he can be whoever i want him to be. (i have done this in my exorcist comics, i will admit this. n the fact that i can just do that... it really does not sit well with me personally.)

n that is dangerous.

back to young me doing lil ship things. i think its also pretty safe to say when u really do ship 2 characters, chances are u kinda really relate very very hard to at least one of them. that very quickly can turn into projecting, n shipping therefore is not “exploring the relationship between 2 characters” n it becomes “my preferred dating simulator 101″. of course this isnt always the case, but at least it was for me, n subconsciously it might be for lots of ppl too. n since this is ur mental playground, u call the shots, n there is no consequences if u slightly (or even entirely) alter one or both personalities to fit ur desired narrative. n u wouldnt even notice or know, cos ur blind to ur own biasness.

we bring our perceived notions into real life, im sure u know that. so when ur partner does not become that perfect knight in shining armour, or when they get upset at things that u do (which is a very normal thing by the way), n u think (very subconsciously), That isnt what my otp would do, something is wrong here (nothing is wrong, actually its just ur skewed perception of a stable romantic relationship). why wouldnt ur otp do this? because u are both halves of ur otps, there is no hidden secrets between them (apart from the pining part but thats irrelevant), n again they have been altered to fit ur preferred narrative. 

a real relationship requires a lot of communication between parties, because newsflash, liking someone doesnt mean that u have to like every single thing they do, they will make mistakes n it will hurt u, n guess what, the reverse is also true. if u do go with absoutely anything that they would do with 0 objections whatsoever, ur not crushing on someone, ur idolizing them, n that power imbalance is detrimental to a relationship. these things are not obvious to ppl, especially when the whole climate is hell bent on getting into romantic relationships by a certain age or some bullshit. communication is key n is pretty much the only way to solve relationship issues, because the other person has a lot that u r not seeing n vice versa. as similar as 2 ppl can be, i doubt u can have 100% the same thoughts on all things. i dont make the rules.

so in ur mental playground u focus on the fluffy parts, maybe there is communication, but rarely is there any meaningful conflict. thats unrealistic, n if u bring that mindset to an actual relationship, thats not going to end well. i say meaningful conflict, because yes, generally u shouldnt have conflicts with ur significant other. but inevitably when ur with each other for long enough, u will realize that there are habits that u must change in order to be with the other person. habits that are harmful to the other person directly, or harmful habits towards yourself that indirectly harm the other person. these are meaningful in a sense that if left alone, it will manifest into larger problems that will harm u, the other person n the relationship as a whole. its meaningful to the relationship.

all these is made even worse if ur neurodivergent. maladaptive coping practices, self sabotaging behaviours, inherent disabilities. all these must be adjusted n addressed. im so incredibly thankful for my boyfriend for being incredibly patient with me when working all these out, n it has not been easy for me to work on myself n all my problems, n im still not done working on them. this aspect is often not explored in romance in general (or properly), n there is a very good chance i would have still been stuck in the unhealthy mindset of “this isnt like my otp, maybe we’re not meant to be”. because loving someone is a choice. no one is made for each other, it is a conscious choice made between 2 ppl to make things work. this is how arranged marriages work, i am told, n i do see the appeal, not that it actually does appeal to me culturally.

special mention to the kurotsukki ship, cos from there i found a very, very good fic that explored their relationship before n after getting together, n it actually showed aspects of this problem in the incredibly slow burn of (at that time) 20+ chapters. it was just one fic (n a very good one at that, i believe it was called Leviticus), but it had a lesson i never thought i needed to learn, n learn it i did, with a lot of help from my dear. 

this is also probably the reason why i dont really want to delve too much into romance now. i know its a lot of work, n everything (mostly) that the media feeds u is really false advertising, but ppl eat that shit up n so it remains one of the most popular genres to date. im just very wary that if i do start on a romantic story, i want to be able to show it in a way like that fic did, the truths of relationships, because i dont want to make something that sells, i want to make something that meaningful to me, if a little indulgent. n that also includes being very careful in how the respective characterizations will change in a relationship. almost too careful now that i think about it, but its not something that i mind. i was never one for romance from the start, n now im very careful about shipping because of what happened to me persoanlly.

okay enough about me, lets talk about aesop. in any au u put the character in, the essence of the character must remain despite the change in environment. so lets say we have ur typical modern au. dead mom, check. shitty mentor doing illegal stuff? also check. autistic boy with social anxiety? we’re good to go. all these have implications on aesop as a character, n while ppl are aware of this, again the way they go about portraying it can go, in my personal opinion, very wrong. ppl who immediately woobify aesop completely because he has autism annoy me. ppl who reduce him to uwu soft boi cos he has social anxiety do not know how the disorder really works n as someone who has that i hate it to the core. ppl who do all these for the sake of ship have lost my respect. its insulting.

remember the top/bottom dynamic? not that elisop is completely free from that (even if i dont know much about eli, to put him in either one of those stereotypes feels very insulting to his character. i wont even say anything about doing it to aesop its so upsetting), but its not entirely made up of either. but now i want to introduce another trope i am very wary of, which is “i can fix him”. im sure u guys have seen the meme going around poking fun at this trope (for those who havent, its along the lines of “u can fix him? well i can be his worst nightmare”) n no doubt yall would have seen it n gotten sick of it in some forced hetero romantic bullshit. we have one damsel in distress with a saviour that solves all their problems just by existing n being romo with each other.

remember “my preferred dating simulator 101″? this is not mutually exclusive n from my point of view this is dangerously close to this trope. lets be real, if it was actually a thing that all ur deep rooted trauma magically disappears if someone were to waltz into ur life, we would want it. definitely. no painfully dissecting ur own problems n constantly facing them head on. real life states that this is not the case, but it will not stop us from dreaming. n so this trope is born n lives n will go on.

(finally) pulling aesop n eli into this, at least in my mind, u have one severely traumatized boy with lots of issues n u have this. nice mild guy who can be anything u want him to be. i hope u can see where im going with this, n thats the direction i see some elisop heading towards (i dont read a lot of elisop to be fair). if u came from my eli character talk, i mentioned that it is incredibly one sided. this is exactly what im talking about.

putting it all together in case u havent already, aesop is the damsel in distress, whose problems magically disappear because of elis godly kindness n little to no work on improving himself, n they lived happily n gayly ever after.

can u tell how much that does not appeal to me. 

never mind the butchering of character that inevitably happens somewhere somehow, the unrealistically perfect themes n implications of this trope makes me so viscerally uncomfortable. this is, of course, due to personal reasons, n i definitely see the appeal of this dynamic because i would probably have been interested in this once upon a time as well. but as i am now, with everything i have explained up there n everything i have been through, i would politely rather not.

n its difficult to think of another dynamic, because of how little i know about eli apart from him being this saint, which easily makes him a candidate for being aesops trauma panacea. never mind aesop rarely, if ever, does anything for eli as a character in return, n its so damaging to buy into this rhetoric, where a person like this who would solve all ur issues no strings attached exists somewhere in the world. they really dont. a relationship has to be mutually benefitting, or it will be draining n disastrous. maybe u say, Oh its nice to imagine it once in a while. n yeah, i agree, except once in a while is a little difficult to keep track of n that is sort of what happened to me. id rather stay as far away as possible from this kind of unrealistic fantasy, i just got this shit sorted out with myself n my boyfriend.

i have some other reasons, but theyre more personally problematic, so i wont go into them here. but this is mostly n generally why i do not ship elisop romantically. if u do, u do u, and have fun, but again dont expect me to join u. thank u for coming to my ted talk, this took a lot longer than expected.

[zhuhongs]

Upon rereading tgcf, one of the biggest complaints I have is how lackluster all the extra chapters were. literally none of them were good and all contained rlly gross and harmful sentiments (like the amnesia one which.. yea.. or all the things implying xl should get pregnant for hc thus equating gay relationships with hetero ones and playing into the wife thing and just GOD I HATE MXTX) 

There were a lot of little plot points i wish that had been further elaborated on more in the extras as opposed to hualian being ... like that. I had enough. Like mdzs had actaully good extras (minus the incense burners) that were nice side stories that elaborated more on the characters. Like the hook one with the juniors was so cute and i loved seeing them grow more. Or the lotus pod extras omg.. im such a lotus pod extra stan. those were so cute and gave us a lot of good insight into just how lovestruck lwj was during the times when he didn’t see wwx. mxtx should've stuck to those sorta extras in tgcf but NOOO. SO I have a list of so many other more interesting things those chapters couldve been spent on like:

A resolution on He Xuan’s revenge and his character arc. Bc its implied He Xuan is still hanging out and watching over sqx and that taking revenge didn’t fully satisfy him bc ok.. yea shi wudu is dead but he xuans family will never come back. Now what does he have to live for?? i wish we couldve seen a look into his life during the entire ordeal. like a chapter from his perspective while he was posing as Ming Yi  and maybe a look at a conversation btw he xuan and the real ming yi or a chapter after SQX was banished to see what he’s doing now. Also what did he xuan owe hua cheng money for anyways?? Like ik not every little thing has to be explained but I Want to Know. PLEASE more goth boyfriend content now I just wanna see him :,((

a better resolution of yin yu and quan yizhens storyline. im still mad abt how that plot point was split btw books 3 and 5  when it was rlly out of place and  there were other more pressing plot matters and it just rlly deserved more time. Also i thought yin yu died!?!?!? but apparently one of the extras says he’s alive and man... i;m not reading any more of the extras to see that, give me a full yin yu and quan yizhen chapter.. fuck.

a day in the life of the guoshi fangxin or general hua PLEASE especially like one where hua cheng was SO CLOSE to meeting xie lian but had no clue that xie lian was there at the time but the two did smth that inadvertantly helped the other and they still were connected even though they hadnt met omg pls that’d be so nice. like imagine Hua cheng catching a glimpse of the guoshi in public in yong’an while he’s trying to follow some lead that points to xie lian or maybe following a lead to capture qi rong bc he said he knew qi rong was a part of the yong’an stuff and originally thought the guoshi was one of qi rongs pawns. like can you IMAGINE him getting so close. but at the last second he did smth small that impacted xie lian. like they bumped into eachother on the street or smth. god i’d go crazy

OR vice versa.. like a day in the life of the young ghost king hua cheng. Like again, one of my biggest issues was that hua cheng just knew everything and its never really explained how he got all of that info. like yes he’s been alive very long and has eyes and ppl working for him everywhere but like... how did he build that network?? I’d love to see a chapter of young ghost king hua cheng travelling around trying to learn as much as he can abt the world and how it can help bring him to xie lian. and the two maybe are in the same kingdom for a bit and they don’t meet exactly but hua cheng stops some fight or something and helps xie lian indirectly or maybe xie lian is performing on the street in some costume and hua cheng doesn’t recognize him and smiles and gives him a coin or smth. idk i’m just dying for any sorta extra chapter or fic like that. i’m honestly so tempted to write my own but i cant write

also!! we’ve seen how xie lian picks up people down on their luck near him and show them kindness (like banyue, lang ying, xiao ying, he tried to with san lang but we know how that ended lmao) so i’d love to see another little vignette of him doing that on his travels and how every person he meets teaches him smth about life and being a good person and idk, i just think it’d be rlly sweet. i love this facet of his character and feel like we didn’t see enough of it towards the end.

ALSO hua cheng only seems to respect one heavenly official besides xie lian and thats yushi huang.. i assume thats mostly bc she was the only one to help xie lian and let him use the rain master hat to bring water to yong’an. I was thinking maybe when he was a new supreme he had run into trouble and maybe was picked up by the rain master and helped him heal and in return he promised to help protect her village from harm in the future. Like i know a heavenly official wouldn’t cooperate with a ghost like that but yushi huang is different and doesn’t really care about the heavens so i think she would protect him if he could do something to benefit her village. ik this is kinda far fetched but when he first became a supreme I’m sure a bunch of ppl probably tried to mess with him and didn’t rlly believe him to be undefeatable bc he hadn’t proved himself yet also i doubt all his power came overnight. he had to learn how to use it once he escaped the kiln. and some group probably thought they could weaken him somehow. I’m thinking maybe a rlly well formed group of ghosts actually caught him off guard once and he had to retreat and was picked up by the rain master and stayed with her and learned from her a bit. i think it’d be a cool concept also i just rlly want more yushi huang content and i’m on their friendship agenda bc he rlly did seem to actually respect her when she first appeared and i think it’d be cool if the two had some history together.

Also idrc if this was addressed I couldve missed it But!! Did xie lian ever tell Hua cheng that the reason he got the curse shackles and was banished again in the first place wasnt bc jun wu wanted to punish him, but because he requested it. And specifically requested it bc he felt guilty abt letting wu ming take the human face disease and disperse for his sake. So he took the shackles and descended to atone for that?? Bc I dont recall hua cheng learning that bc his soul was already dispersed at that point so it didnt follow him and xie lian didnt say anything so uhhh... someone should tell hua cheng that. Like I dont think xie lian rlly said how much hua cheng meant to him and didnt show him he was loved in grand ways. Like xie lian did always care for bc in other ways but I think if hua cheng learned abt this on screen it wouldve been such a great moment and I'm rlly surprised mxtx didnt address this iirc!?!? Like imagine jun wu telling Hua cheng this in the kiln bc xie lian wouldnt say it himself. Imagine how cool that would be.

Also a small thing adding into the whole young ghost king Hua cheng stuff. Its implied and p much stated that hua cheng isnt his real name. That he likely doesnt have a real name bc his parents died? (It's not clear. I'm still mad at mxtx for not making his childhood clearer). So I'd like to see when and why hua cheng chose that name for himself. The new tgcf ending song kinda hints at its meaning with the lyrics "for you I'd fill a city of flowers" as xie lian is the flower wielding martial god so it's probably inspired by that. Also xie lian saved hua cheng from leaping off the city walls but I'd love to hear him say it bc the implication of his name didnt dawn on me for quite a bit and I dont know if everyone made the connection. Again I sure as hell didnt. So itd be cool to see a chapter that takes place in his past after just ascending as a supreme

Overall I rlly think tgcf had a lot more potential to be even better and a lot of that comes down to fleshing out the side characters and letting hualian have more of a storyline independent of one another. like i know the appeal and message of tgcf is that through love, people can overcome anything, but fuck man. i just wanna see what these two (mostly hua cheng) where like in the absence of each others presence. Part of what I really liked abt mdzs is that we got to see that longing develop btw wangxian when the two weren’t together and how they thought about each other and did things in thei others spirit bc they knew the other wouldve done the same thing. but whatever, mxtx was too consumed by her own unhealthy idea of what devotion and true love looks like but still. i rlly think the extras couldve helped the story be better rather than be fujoshi fuel that i try to bleach from my mind -_-

[macklives]

session 92 end (bye 413...)

this session was so long but so fucking hectic what the fuck

im going to try and slim it down to its bare essentials rather than go on a full rant because im pretty sure i want to make a post later on about vriska’s characterisation (not anything about me liking her/disliking her, just an analyse on her life really, so it wont be too bias because thats not the point of an analysis. i also want to do one on aradia, been meaning to for a while... hmm... damn i havent done much analogies lately, and i THINK the last long post on a character i made was about davesprite??? so its been a fucking while. that being said, ill leave a lot of details out for this end of session notes so i dont just repeat myself later on. rather will keep to plot points here and then make character points in another)

alright

first we had a page or two where aradia confided in nepeta about her being dead which means nepeta is the only one to know this revelation. im pretty sure aradia confided because there was no other way around it, since nepeta was her server player, so it was inevitable. either way, aradia still put her trust in nep, which means, if you think about it, nobody else knows and nobody else ever will. and considering aradia asked nep to keep it a secret, it probably wont get explored by others until MAYBE later on, whenever its plot relevant, so everyone will be in the dark about it for a while which ill have to remember for future dialogue and scenes with aradia in them

then we met vriska

which, yes, is a meme. i may not have been on a lot of fandom platforms, but you cant escape some of the stuff that goes around the internet. even if you dont know undertale, im pretty sure you know of sans. or komaeda if you have/havent seen danganronpa. its just.. the memes, ya know? ive heard from many sources of the “vriska did nothing wrong” quote (even through mbmbam which??? WHAT) but since i didnt even know what it meant, i never explored it so then i never knew it was a homestuck thing. imagine my surprise...... i think even at the time, i wouldnt have known what homestuck was either honestly so it wouldnt even matter. i only recently learned about the fandom.... uhh, maybe half a year ago??? yeah, august, so my knowledge was slim but vriska is a thing ive heard before, which still shocks me

goddammit

anyways back to her

so her intro was something, we pretty much found out she likes DnD (a FANATIC in fact) and feeds her lusus the flesh of living trolls. which is fucked up. but i wont get too much into detail about that until i make a post about her life on alternia and the consequences of such. or maybe just alternia in general...?? or *both* heheheh but i feel i need more information before i go off on a tangent about that

then we met??? white text dude?? who is a major asshole but an asshole with insults that hURted, to think i felt bad for VRISKA when that happened. woah.

i said before, but... karkat, he cant really hit deep because his insults are just HIM and his way to express himself. like some people find it natural to just go “FUCK YOU” to show emphasis on a point, and thats just karkats way. he may do it so aggressively that it takes you a second to realize what he said, but usually i dont take anything to heart whenever he spurts out some insults. ive progressed to the point where whatever he says, is just “karkat” and not him trying to be actively mean. rather, its now funny whenever he does say anything SOMEWHAT creative, dude has an imagination that goes on for miles

but vriska?? she IS trying to be a bully, you can tell. but i feel theres something much more to that. like shes trying to prove herself and her “blueblooded” demeanours or whatever the hierarchy is. she doesnt want to show emotions so she makes herself a barrier by being mean is what i can gather from her conversation with kanaya. im pretty sure youre not supposed to understand her until its pointed out and rather see her as an “antagonist” at first, but yeah, her insults are more pitiful than anything and i also cant take her too seriously. i may not like her as a person but her character is interesting because you cant always have the goodie two shoes as the protags. it doesnt diversify the characterisation so i like vriska as someone who makes the plot work and it becomes more interesting since you have someone that makes it harder for the main crew to progress. a happy-go-lucky adventure with no trouble and no turnabouts would be boring in a way. so having a character like vriska, or like this new white text guy, it makes you stop for a second and realize oh shit okay, here’s where shit CAN go wrong and WHY. and i do especially like it when these bastards of characters somehow have more depth than being the “bastard characters”. kinda humanizes them in a way. doesnt mean you have to LIKE them continuously, but theyre humans (trolls whatever) in the end and every person has their own story whether its for better or for worse

for example, i like her being placed into the story, along with white text, by how its all leading to this “accident” and is slowly showing us hints on what happened, but in the end, it wont be until later that we know the full story. even if it was in the past, it apparently is very vital to the plot and shapes how the characters act in the future, so important aspects like that are to look out for. and usually they only occur when theres been some trouble within friend dynamics. so without these bastard of characters, plot wouldnt grow AS strong and i often keep that in mind when i explore a story.

anyways, I HAD A POINT TO THIS: so vriska and karkat are characters who are yes, mean, but it seems to be their personality, and the way they either show emotions and convey feelings (karkat) or make a barrier so they DONT show emotions to produce vulnerability (vriska), white text guy seems to mostly be out to be an asshole. he told vriska she was useless to sum it up but im not too sure if this is one of those “first dialogue” to mould out a bias opinion before we even get to the character themselves, but judging by how vriska and karkat played out, he surely means something bad and i dont know how to explain it. but i cannot base anything off from one piece of dialogue. i dont even know what else to call him other than white text guy so...... ill just leave that out for now, until we finally get his introduction

though, i do wish to mention, and will expand on, im not wrong when i say karkat and vriska are similar but in different context. sorry if youre favourite is karkat and you dont like vriska, or vice versa, but uhhhh their introductions are so similar its uncanny and the way they’re portrayed is the same except one is more on crack about the meddling, while the other is angry about the meddling. similar to how it was with karkat, we were introduced to vriska talking with someone we knew (tavros) whom she obviously didnt like, so obviously, from her point of view, she wanted to be menacing. like how karkat was menacing to jade because she wouldnt listen to his point... he got angry, so he lashed out. but us, the readers, didnt know that. we thought “oh god its this asshole” until we made it further in the story and started to warm up to karkat. it may not be the same with vriska, she may be a bully regardless, but you cannot tell me we moulded a bias towards her character as we did when we first read karkat. theyre both truly mean to other people, maybe both for different reasons, but i do want to point out the similarities and not leave that out. im pretty sure andrew basically gave us a conversation that formed our opinion of a character right off the bat rather than go into depth of WHY they did it, and how they are naturally without the conditions of the game. which, you can also see with vriska when she conversed with kanaya. andrew started off with a character who only appears to speak once, and makes you judge them from first appearance alone, without any explanation as to why they said what they said and how they are with other characters, let says. so you assume they were simply a rude character. now look how karkat turned out. so im guessing in homestuck, the first impression should never be the opinion you stick with until MAYBE 5 more conversations with that character (each one different)

OKAY done with the vriska introduction, now to slutquius

yes, hes kinda weird, i have stated that many times. i have no idea what to say about him other than he likes porn, he likes centaur dick which just so happens to be his lusus as well and if that isnt a red flag idk what is

he also likes his lusus milk, right from the udders of his guardian

fun times, fun times

my opinion of equius kinda.. differs. which i should really put in place the “dont judge by first impression” rule, because at first i thought he was rude with, then i thought he was hhh okay, because i understood why he was being so protective over nepeta and her team placement, since the people she was going to play with WERE dangerous. but if you think about it, both sides will probably put you in danger. it just depends on which ones you confide in more to protect your back rather than those which would cause trouble on purpose, in my HONEST opinion. so equius was a little overdramatic on that part, but i got what he meant. he was on the blue team and he didnt want to leave nepeta alone without him on the red. but then this session happened. and he went back to being weird again because of the whole porn thing, especially being so open about it like dude chill youre 13. but the thing is, then i felt bad for him because hes basically touch starved. to say that he could break anything he touches, i doubt people would go up to him for hugs. in fear they would be crushed to death by a simple hug. so im guessing hes rather lonely and doesnt really know how to interact because of this. so i felt sad that he had to live a life where he needs to be careful of everything he touches so it doesnt break randomly. see? poor dude. but then things got weird. and im pretty sure hes a masochist. so my opinion on equius is a fucking cosine graph

which brings us to the final point:

gamzee and equius’ conversation

i dont even know.....like.........gamzee was unaware that equius was using him for his own power play roleplay, right? gamzee knew it was a roleplay but it had had some.. idk.... obvious sexual implications? and i bet gamzee didnt really know that? he thought they were only venting out through a simple roleplay and trying to get closer because he originally thought equius hated him, considering equius flat out said “i hate you” and gamzee went “you tell me everyday and im okay with that” so.. gamzee probably wanted only to get closer to equius so he helped out his little problem which.. thats so sweet but i feel bad he was coerced into something he didnt get, especially since he was innocent enough to go along without knowing equius’ true gain

anyways, equius was getting off with the hierarchy thing. considering he’s “lower” than gamzee, and gamzee is surprisingly ...high on the spectrum??? so equius wanted gamzee to boss him around, because it felt only natural to him since he’s the “inferior one” and gamzee is The Big Man. like i get that, but it was written in a way that was so uncomfortable, that i wish i didnt. equius is just a weird character... hes not BAD per say, but hes... hes something alright

but im really liking gamzee. the two things which struck me in that one conversation, was the “i dont get why we should dictate people by the colour of their blood, i just see people as people” piece of dialogue and “i cant go around pleasing just everything so its alright if you hate me”

thats... so good, idk. i really liked that. i also really liked when kanaya said “youre dangerous but dangerous people are needed and are important because it shapes you” like <33 my fucking heart

god homestuck may be a tad on the weird side with some of its characters but it surely knows how to create great lines of dialogue

and that concludes the long 4 hour session i did, hope you all enjoyed it

with that, i rest