#because time and time again he says he knows best but refuses to teach or explain anything to anyone

[hueseok]

it was always you.

for as long as you remember, you’ve always had the fattest crush on your childhood friend, jeon jungkook. it never blossomed into something more though, because that’s what happens when life naturally takes it course—you grow up, you move on, and you pretend that those feelings never existed in order to maintain the good friendship that remained between the two of you over the years.

so when he visits you after work one day, asking you to marry him, you do everything you can to refuse, because the reason he’s asking you isn’t due to the fact that he finally realized that he loved you after all this time, but because he thinks he’s doing you a big favor.

or at least, that’s what you think.

pairing: jungkook x reader

word count: 13.2k

rating: 18+

content: fluff, semi-angst, childhood friends to lovers au, pining au | ft. naval aviator!jungkook + brother’s best friend!jungkook; professor!reader + editor!reader | inspired by purple hearts

warning/s: swearing, potentially wrong medical & military information (i’m sorry but i tried to do as much research i can 😭), mentions of having type 1 diabetes, making out, heavy petting, implied sexual content: oral (f. receiving), fingering, penetrative sex, unprotected sex (this is only fiction!)

MINI PLAYLIST: ♫ die with a smile — lady gaga, bruno mars ♫ juno — sabrina carpenter ♫ selfish — *nsync ♫ nandito na ako — benj pangilinan, angela ken

opening note. omg this is my first full length fic in two damn years i think??? certainly took a long time before i had the motivation to write again but i hope y'all like this! to my og readers who still keep up with my shenanigans, this one's for you 🥹💗

“Any questions?”

A boy wearing half-rimmed glasses raises his hand and you gesture for him to speak. “Can we get an extension on the Save the Cat project due tomorrow?”

You sigh, just as several of your students begin agreeing with him and muttering reasons of their own why the extension should be approved. It’s the week before finals, and you’re aware that the class must be packed with assignments and projects for several of their classes because of it, hence the rather last minute request. They look tired and pleading, a complete reflection of how you were when you were the one in their position nearly a decade ago, begging for an extension from a professor who you thought was kind enough to be swayed with the proposition.

You scan the crowd. “How many of you are at least 70% with it, hm?”

More than half of the class raises their hands.

“Okay, that’s honestly unexpected,” you say, pleased to know that they aren’t slacking on your subject. “Does Monday sound good? That’s three more days, to be fair. I don’t want to extend it further because I have to read everyone’s work and you guys know I don’t like rushing it before turning in your final grade.”

A chorus of relief and thanks echoed in the room, all of your students either dramatically sinking in their chair or erupting in an animated conversation with their seatmate or making crying faces to portray how grateful they are.

“Thank you so much, Ms. ____!”

“I love you, Ms. ____!”

“Ms. ____, I will offer my first child to you,” one theatrically adds and you smile a bit, rolling your eyes at students like this one who is now opting to flatter you way too much for your act of kindness.

“Alright, alright. Just get it done and I’m expecting quality work, okay? Class dismissed.”

The whole class begins to gather their things at the cue and you don’t stay there a minute longer after your announcement, exiting the lecture hall to head to the faculty room where you’re certain half of the teaching staff have gone home already. It’s already 8:47 p.m., and all you want to do is head home to get the rest you deserve after an eventful day.

There was a time that having a schedule from 6 p.m. to 9 p.m. wasn’t the norm for you. You used to value work life balance so much—it was even a nonnegotiable you used to say in interviews, saying that if you didn’t get enough rest within the week, then the job most likely wasn’t for you. But things have been very different for the past months; you have definitely grown out of that mindset due to the fact that you’re simply in need of another source of income to pay for your monthly rent, utility bills, and now your medication. You’re in a stage of your life wherein you consider working part time as a professor was a blessing rather than a big nuisance.

Making a right turn to where the hallway to the faculty room is, you’re too busy rearranging the papers inside the folder you’re holding to notice a man sitting on the bench placed just beside the entrance. He notices you the second you appear in his line of vision though; he straightens his posture and proceeds on standing up immediately upon seeing you closer, calling your name softly when you failed to look at his direction, too preoccupied with the thought of finally coming home that you’re oblivious that the man trying to catch your attention is Jeon Jungkook.

“____,” he calls again and this time you notice him, your eyes widening instantly.

“Holy shi—” You stop yourself from finishing that sentence. “Jungkook?”

He grins. “Hey, lamb chop.”

“What the hell are you doing here?”

“Is that how you greet an old friend?”

“Oh, fuck off.”

He laughs, following suit to you who’s already giggling just by his presence alone, outstretching his arms then. “You gonna hug me or what?”

You beam and step forward to embrace him. He returns it without hesitation, muscular arms circling around you and squeezing tightly that it lifts you up from the ground for a quick second. The faint smell of fabric conditioner on his clothes enters your nostrils and you feel like a teenager again, warmth rushing to your face while your heart hammers loudly in your chest. Regardless of how old the both of you are, you think your hopeless crush on the guy will forever live on and constantly transform you into a middle school girl whenever opportunities like these to have him near arise. You’re just happy you’ve trained yourself to be better at hiding it now compared to when you were younger.

“Aren’t you supposed to be in base or wherever it is that you’re designated?” you ask, the first to let go from the hug.

“Actually, I returned from deployment three days ago. I’m on leave for two weeks.”

“Wow. Two weeks, huh?”

“Yep. It’s the longest break I’ve gotten in a while.”

“That’s good. Everybody needs a break from time to time.”

“Says the girl has a day job and a night job.” He points out with a smirk; your heart does a little leap at how handsome he looks doing that. “When the hell did you get into teaching, by the way? I never pegged you to be the kind who can tolerate it. You hate kids.”

“You’ll find yourself tolerating lots of things in this economy.” You snort. “And my students aren’t kids. They’re in college.”

“Yeah, which you graduated from six years ago. Still technically kids.”

“Are you seriously jabbing at my age when you’re two years older than I am?”

He rolls his eyes at that one, an indication that you won the argument. “Anyway,” he starts again and you grin, “I didn’t come here to compare how old we are—”

“You didn’t?”

He sends you a look. Your grin gets even wider.

“I’m here because I was hoping to treat you to dinner.”

“Dinner?” you repeat, not masking the surprise from your voice.

Let’s get the facts straight before we proceed to this conversation.

It isn’t a lie when you say that you and Jungkook are great friends. You have been since you were 7 and your family just moved into the house next to theirs. He was a natural playmate, a companion when you couldn’t tolerate the antics of your older brother, the boy who looked out for you aside from said older brother, and the person you’ve shared significant history with throughout your youth that you can never seem to forget nor disregard.

It’s just that you never deemed that you were great enough friends for him to go out of his way and visit you at your workplace, offering to treat you for dinner. Gestures like that were reserved for your older brother, Seowon, who’s the same age as he is and who you’re sure is considered as his best friend. Compared to them, yours and Jungkook’s dynamic shifted slightly after graduating from college. What once was a really close friendship turned into a casual one, with mostly just teasing, light talks, and the occasional welfare checks at times you hear certain news from the other that’s worth speaking directly about.

At the mention of that, realization dawns on you on why he must be here.

“Jungkook…” You’re trying not to sound mad but you can’t hide the exasperation from your voice. “That’s not the real reason you’re here.”

“Of course, it is. Why else would I be here?”

“He told you, didn’t he?” you ask, not willing to drag this out. “You’re just going to give me another lecture that I definitely don’t need.”

Jungkook frowns, like he’s dismayed that you caught on pretty swiftly.

“I’m right, aren’t I?” You pressed.

“He meant well, ____.”

You scowl. To remark that Seowon is unnecessarily nosy and coddling would be an understatement. That man hasn’t left you alone the second he was aware of your condition. Usually, whenever he gets into his ‘big brother tendencies’, his girlfriend Winnie steps in and helps you lay him off your back. However, it’s different this time; no matter how much you reinstill your independence and insist that you’re fine, it’s like you’re talking to a wall.

“What exactly did you hear from him?” you query.

He seems hesitant in answering that. “That you got diagnosed with type 1 diabetes.”

You wince.

“Look,” he steps forward towards you, “I wasn’t going to bring it up unless you did, okay? I’m just here because I’m genuinely worried about you and I want to know how you’re doing.”

“I’m fine.” You murmur. “You don’t need to worry.”

“Worry doesn’t vanish magically just because someone says so.”

“Well, it should—because I’m fine.”

“You sure? I heard that you’re struggling to buy insulin among other things you’re having a hard time paying.”

“Fuck. Seowon told you that too? That’s private.”

“My parents know. He just filled me in because he wants you to have as much support as you can get.”

“I don’t need that. I’m an adult. I’ve lived by myself for years. I can fend for myself just fine.”

“It doesn’t look like it from what I’ve been hearing.”

“All you’re hearing is a warped and exaggerated version of the story told by Seowon who won’t listen to a word I say.” You huff. “I’m fine and I’ve been doing everything I can, alright? I’m taking care of myself. I’m going to the doctor whenever I need to. I’m making ends meet, buying treatment for this goddamn disease and regulating my sugar levels all the fucking time. Why do you think I’ve been working two jobs for the past year? It’s because I’m doing everything I can to stay alive.”

Jungkook doesn’t reply, he only remains gazing at you.

“If you’re here to offer me money or whatever because of what he said,” you add, already embarrassed that you can’t even look at him anymore, “then I don’t want it.”

“That’s not what I’m here for,” he says.

“Then are you really just here to treat me to dinner?” you question sarcastically.

He laughs and you dare return your eyes at him, catching him peering at you with a fond expression. “Yes. It’s my way of doing a welfare check.”

“Welfare check.” You echo with squinted eyes. “Well, in that case, here I am—alive and healthy.”

“I can see that, and I’m glad.” He smiles. “But I need more than just seeing you. I need a conversation and an apology.”

“An apology?”

“For being the last person to know about your condition.”

“And we’re still talking about that apparently.” You mutter under your breath. “Sorry. I didn’t think that you wanted to know.”

“Of course, I would have wanted to know. It’s you we’re talking about here.”

Something about how he said you causes your lips to twitch as you fight off a smile. This isn’t a good time to dive into your romantic feelings for your childhood crush, but when he’s letting go of lines like that which are sure to have your heart soaring out of your chest, it’s hard to keep on a cool and unfazed facade. You just convince yourself that he sees you as a little sister and that’s why he’s so worried; you should already be past your ‘delulu’ phase at this age to be affected by such statements.

“I didn’t want to add to your worries,” you reason. “You already have your life to think about. Add to the fact that you’re a naval aviator—so you literally have your own life first to think about.”

“I can make space for you.”

Is he flirting? Is this a normal thing to say between friends?

You blink. “Okay, uh, that’s… that’s completely up to you, I guess.”

“I just like knowing those things first hand. It makes me worry less.”

“Got it. Next time I learn I’m dying, I’ll tell you.”

“____,” he says your name in warning, and you know he’s serious.

“Sorry.” You heat up. “I couldn’t resist.”

“Don’t be a pain in the ass.”

“I promise that’ll be the last time I make a dark joke, Lieutenant.”

Jungkook’s nostrils flare. You prevent yourself from grinning like a fool again in success of getting on his nerves.

“Are you done here? Because I’m hungry and would really like to get going now.” He changes the subject and gestures to the faculty.

“Yeah. I’ll just get my things and then I can get out of here.”

“Great. You’re letting me take you to dinner, right?” 

“Do I have a choice?”

“No.”

“Fine.” You deadpan.

This time, he’s the one who’s beaming at you. “I’ll wait for you here and we can go.”

“Okay.”

****

When Jungkook discovered that you had type 1 diabetes through a phone call with Seowon, he spent the rest of the night staring at the ceiling, ignoring the snores of his squadmates and overthinking what’s supposed to happen to you now that you had an autoimmune disease which he was told didn’t have a cure. He was assured that you were okay despite it, that there was medication to treat it, and that you had access to them and have been very careful with your lifestyle due to the diagnosis ever since.

He still couldn’t be put to ease though. As ridiculous as it may sound, he had this overwhelming realization that life truly was short, that you had to make certain decisions all the time because you need to adjust to what the universe is only willing to give you. It was funny coming from a person who risked his life for a living. He thinks that perhaps he never understood the philosophy of the quote ‘time is gold’ until he had a loved one on the same trajectory, always one step closer to possible death.

And so that same night, he decided to file a leave for two weeks, effective immediately after his deployment. 

He wasn’t sure what his game plan was exactly in filing that two-week leave. Was he supposed to barge in your life and force you to let him take care of you? Was he supposed to demand why you ended up having diabetes? Was he supposed to act as a big brother like your actual big brother because he was that worried about you? But if Jungkook was going to be truthful, he already had an idea on what he wanted to do in the back of his head—he just didn’t want to execute it because it was absolutely insane.

Until he heard Seowon suggest it himself when they met up at a bar to share a drink together.

“She would never say yes,” Jungkook said, beyond doubt that you won’t be persuaded that easily with a plan like that.

Seowon made a face. “I know. That girl is so hyper independent—she’d rather die than accept help.” He scoffed. “She needs it though. It’ll help with her medication and she won’t have to pay rent for that shit apartment she’s living in. Plus, she'll actually get the chance to take care of her body if she’s not juggling two jobs to have sufficient income.”

“You’re right.” Jungkook shrugged.

“You’ll do it then?”

He took a sip of his beer. “Yeah. I’d do anything for ____, you know that.”

“Even as crazy as marrying her?”

“Sure.”

Seowon stared at him, narrowing his eyes and morphing his expression into a teasing one. “Are you sure you’re not just considering this because it’s a perfect excuse to marry my sister? I know you like her.”

“I don’t like her.” 

“You’re in love with her.”

“I don’t—” Jungkook began to deny but Seowon was staring him down. “Fuck you, man. Don’t make me some kind of pervert who’s trying to lock her into marriage because he likes her. You’re the one who brought the idea up.”

Seowon laughed out loud. “I know, I just can’t believe you’d agree. It’ll benefit ____, that’s for sure—you, on the other hand? It’s career suicide.”

He shrugged. “I’m okay with the thought that she’ll be okay.”

“Because you love her, man.” Seowon pushed. “Why on earth would you consider this if you weren’t? It’s a fraudulent marriage. You’ll be thrown in the brig and be dishonorably discharged if you get caught.”

“We don’t even know if she’ll agree to this whole thing. You said it yourself, she would never say yes.”

“Yeah, unless maybe you’re the one who tries to persuade her.”

“Me?”

“Yes.”

“Do you want me to buy her a ring and kneel down before her or something?”

“That can work.”

“What?” Jungkook laughed.

Seowon raised an eyebrow. “Don’t tell me you don’t know how she’s been crushing on you since we were kids.”

He barked out a laugh again. That he knew; it was impossible not to when a lot of friends and cousins kept on teasing you before, especially at instances Jungkook was in the very same vicinity. “We’re not kids anymore and I barely see her though.”

“Still, it ought to count to something. It raises the chances of her agreeing.”

“You’re really cool with me marrying your sister, Won?” Jungkook asked.

Seowon placed down the beer bottle he’s consuming on the counter. “Yeah. You’re a good guy. You’re not perfect, but I know you enough to know that you won’t do anything that will purposely hurt her. Besides, if this sham marriage ends up to be a real relationship and then for some reason, you fuck up and decide to break her heart—I’ll easily know what to do, where to find you, to fuck you up.”

Jungkook pressed his lips together to stifle a chuckle.

“Noted.”

****

It’s always been a big wonder to you how no matter how long it’s been since you saw each other, it still feels like no time has passed between you and Jungkook. You think that’s why you can never get over him; he always had this comforting and familiar aura that you appreciate—something that you sought for in every other person that you liked. Maybe it was impractical, maybe it was the reason you can never hold a relationship for more than two years, but unless you gain the courage to confront your feelings and tell Jungkook about it, then you constantly dispel any doubts you might have whether this was good for you or not.

You don’t want to lose him. Admitting that you harbored romantic feelings for him would just make it awkward for everyone: your brother, your family, and then his family. You don’t think you can ever trade his smile, the sound of his laughter, and all the good things about him for anything in the world. 

“Are you dating anyone?” he asks.

You choke on your drink, having just poured yourself and Jungkook a glass of water after the server arrived with the pitcher. You’re in a Japanese restaurant near the university, aware that the cuisine was a favorite for the both of you hence why it’s what you recommended when he asked where you wanted to dine. The place is packed with people from the workforce and students; you’re thankful that you don’t see any of your students within the mix.

“We’re getting straight to it, huh?” you say.

Jungkook smirks. “I’m just making sure I’m not upsetting a boyfriend by meeting you tonight.”

“Don’t worry, you’re not upsetting anyone.”

He nods in understanding. You don’t want to add more meaning to his actions for the evening but he seems glad about the information.

“How about you?” you ask back. “Are you dating anyone?”

The ends of his mouth lift a bit upwards. “Nope.”

“Why? You don’t have the time for it?”

“Precisely.”

“It must be really hard dating when you’re in the Navy then.”

“Kinda. We’re away a lot and stationed in different places most of the time. It can get really dangerous for us too and people don’t like the stress that comes with that.”

 You bob. “Does it get lonely?”

“Sometimes, but when you’re on duty, you don’t get to think about those things.” He chuckles. “Besides, I don’t know if this sounds fucked up or not—but it can get exciting. Flying a plane can be fun, you know. Not to mention that it helps when you’re surrounded by good men in your squadron.”

“You’ve always been an adrenaline junkie.”

“And you’ve always been a scaredy-cat.”

You scoff at the declaration. “No, I’m not.”

“Remember when Seowon and I forced you to ride that ship in the amusement park that sways left to right and as it goes on it falls from a higher standpoint?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

But you do, and Jungkook knows you do, it’s evident by how your expression is trying to feign innocence. That memory is your villain origin story; the whole pretext of why you refuse to ever visit the amusement park or ride an exhilarating ride again. Yet you can’t help but recall that it’s one of the rare instances wherein you got to hold Jungkook’s hand when you two were younger, as his hand was the one you were clinging for dear life when it happened while the other was too busy slapping Seowon in irritation.

He snickers, appearing like he’s replaying the scene in his head. “We should do that again with Seowon during my break.”

“Hell no.”

“I thought you weren’t a scaredy-cat?” He challenges.

“I’m not.” You give him a kittenish glare. “But I am busy. I have to send the final manuscript of this book I’m editing to the chief editor next week and it’s about to be finals week for my students as well.”

He fakes a shiver. “I don’t know how you can do two jobs like that, ____. Truly.”

“You work as a naval aviator so I’d say we’re pretty even.”

The waiter arrives with your orders not long after, and you and Jungkook carry on with your conversation, jumping from topic to topic without difficulty. You’re not certain when was the last time you saw each other like this to have so much to talk about—was it last Christmas? Or was it more recent or longer than that? Nevertheless, it feels good and you find yourself blushing multiple times throughout the night, whether it’s because of how his words can have two meanings or how his eyes are staring at you so intensely whenever you’re the one who’s talking.

You like the undivided attention, the back and forth that’s occurring as you discourse, the subtle touches one of you does when something funny arises, how your knees are touching underneath the table. You wonder what’s so different with this encounter that the energy feels so bizarre in a good way? As far as you’re concerned, you’re positive that you’re acting like you always have in his presence—lively, smiley, sarcastic—and aside from the little touches of flirting here and there, Jungkook’s acting like he always has too.

When dinner was done, Jungkook offered to drive you home. You obliged, no longer in the mood to annoy him for you were tired to make the effort. Before stepping outside the restaurant however, you excused yourself to the restroom first, checking your blood sugar with the glucose meter you brought along wherever you went. It’s a hassle but it’s necessary, largely because you’re still in the middle of saving up for the insulin pump that would help you regulate your sugar levels easier.

After administering yourself with the insulin injection you have, you spend a few more seconds inside the enclosed room. You should be past the point of feeling sorry for yourself, but it’s times like this wherein you’re with a loved one that the dejection hits and you wish that you’re in a better predicament than you are right now. You’re close to being broke, you’re overworked, you’re somehow fatigued all the fucking time—those factors aren’t soothing your worries at all. It’s a miracle how you manage to keep an optimistic mind amidst everything.

“Ready to go?” Jungkook smiles at you once you’re back at the table and you nod, clutching your bag tighter against your body and following him to his car.

He drives you to your place, turning the radio on, and letting it play while the both of you sit in silence. You’re both tired and you almost even sleep during the ride. It’s only when Jungkook gently shakes you awake that you realize that you’ve arrived in front of your apartment building.

“I’ll walk you up,” he insists as you’re unbuckling the seatbelt. 

“That’s no need, Kook.”

“Of course, it is,” he says. “I’ll walk you up. That’s nonnegotiable.”

So, you allow him.

It takes five minutes tops to reach the door leading to your apartment. As you rummage through your bag to grab your keys, Jungkook patiently stands there, occasionally glancing around the hallway and even smiling when the old lady that resided in the same floor got out of her room to throw out the trash. He receives a smile in return which you notice and grin fondly at.

“Well, this is me.” You turn to him, done unlocking your door. “I’d invite you inside but you should probably get going. It’s quite a long drive back home.”

“Yeah.” He breathes out a chuckle. “Hey, tonight was fun. It made me realize how I missed you.”

Your brain temporarily malfunctions; you force yourself to recover quickly. “Me too. I had fun tonight. Maybe we should do this again whenever you’re on a break.”

“Agreed.”

You flash him a smile. “You can go now. Goodnight.”

Jungkook nods, however doesn’t move a muscle. He’s looking at you, like really looking at you, his eyes moving from one feature to another, as if he’s memorizing your face or having a hard time arranging the words he wants to say. You guess it’s the latter, familiar with a tongue-tied Jungkook that it takes you a few good seconds before you’re demanding why he’s impersonating a mannequin.

“There’s something I want to say,” that’s what he utters and you almost snort due to your assumption being right.

“Okay…” The smile is still on your lips. “What is it?”

“Promise me you won’t get mad first.”

“Well, if you’re making me promise that then it’s probably worth being mad about.”

“It’s not as bad as you think.”

“That’s not convincing at all.”

“It’s just…” He begins and trails, biting his lower lip, “it’s… it’s why I went here. Why I went here to see and meet you, I mean.”

You unconsciously recoil at the revelation. It’s certainly a rookie mistake to believe that there was no ulterior motive in Jungkook meeting you today. You just didn’t reckon you’d actually be truly disappointed at that—at the idea that he just didn’t randomly decide to visit and be with you earlier until now.

You draw a long breath. “Well, I knew you weren’t just feeling generous and wanted to treat me to dinner out of nowhere.”

There’s a pause and then he resumes. “Just—before I say it, you have to hear me out, okay? You have to let me explain before you berate me.”

“I can’t promise that either.”

“You have to.”

“Why do I have to?”

“Because what I’m about to say is for your own sake. You know I always have your best interest at heart, don’t you?”

You wrinkle your forehead in further confusion. “Can you just get on with it? The vagueness is making me more annoyed.”

“I just don’t want you to misunderstand.”

“Misunderstand what?”

“What I—and Seowon—genuinely think is the best option.”

“Oh, and Seowon is in on this too?” You bellow. “Have you and Seowon just been conspiring behind my back the whole time?”

“Calm down.” Jungkook puts his hands on your shoulders, a chuckle inevitably escaping him. “I’m sorry for dragging it out. You should know I’m high key afraid of you, that’s why.”

“You should be.” You grumble.

Another chuckle, but he’s back to appearing anxious. You want to shout that this isn’t healthy, that you’re close to giving him a real reason to be afraid of you—yet once he blurts the confession out, you’re speechless, gawking at him and staggering backwards in complete shock. Perhaps you would have bolted as far away from him as possible if not for his solid grasp.

“What?” You hiss.

He swallows hard.

“I want you to marry me, ____.”

You don’t bolt away running. You shake off his hold on you though, and before he gets another word in, you’re hastily rushing inside your apartment and slamming the door to his face.

****

Jungkook was your first kiss.

It happened in a game of truth and dare. You were at a party of a mutual friend and when the bottle miserably pointed in Jungkook’s direction, the person who was tasked to think of his dare when it was his pick said that he dared him to do 7 minutes in heaven with you. 

He profusely refused at first, especially since Seowon was in the same party, but everybody began booing and next thing you know, Jungkook was agreeing as long as it was fine with you. When you nodded to make your consent apparent, your friends were quick to shove you both in the closet, some of them pulling Seowon back who was complaining how it wasn’t right to bully you into doing 7 minutes in heaven with Jungkook. They calmed him down once they bullied him into agreeing too.

“We don’t have to do anything,” Jungkook told you in the darkness, his breath fawning over your face. “You don’t have to feel pressured. It’s just a stupid game.”

You blushed.

Secretly, you were hoping that he’d kiss you or touch you. Who didn’t want to do anything with their crush at the age of 15? A lot can happen in 7 minutes. You were aware that sometimes people made out, went as far as third base, and although you didn’t want to go that far with Jungkook, you wanted something to happen while you were stuck in this small closet with him. There weren’t a lot of instances that put both of you in this kind of situation; you wished that you were brave enough to ask him to kiss you or do the first move yourself.

5 minutes in, Jungkook turned towards you.

“Is it true that Taehyung kissed you last week?”

You whipped your head so fast that you might have given yourself whiplash. “That’s—that’s not true. Where did you hear that?”

“During homeroom. Some girls were talking about it.”

Your cheeks burned. “Oh.”

“So, it’s not true?”

“No.” You shook your head. “I haven’t even had my first kiss yet.” You laughed weakly.

It was his turn to seem stunned. “You haven’t had your first kiss yet?”

You shook your head again, then realized he might not see you doing so. “Not yet.”

“Want me to change that?” he asked, grinning.

He said that with a boyish grin and teasing tone, but you sucked at social cues (plus, you really couldn’t see shit that much) that you started nodding.

“Okay,” you told him.

“Huh?”

“You can kiss me.”

“Oh, oh, shit—I didn’t—” He was blabbering, about to take back what he offered. “I mean, I was just joking but—”

You widen your eyes. “You were? Oh my God, I’m sorry, I thought you were—”

“No, it was my fault. That was a little out of line for me. I’m sorry.” He was laughing and you felt like burying yourself 6 feet under. “It was a stupid thing to say. But if you want me to kiss you, it’s cool.”

“It is?” Hope sparked within you.

“Yeah. It’ll just be a peck anyway.” You can tell he was smiling through his voice. “Just don’t tell Seowon because he might punch me in the face for kissing his sister.”

You cackled. “Deal.”

56 seconds before the 7 minutes were up, Jungkook leaned down to match your level and placed his lips on yours. 

****

You’re seething with rage, the embodiment of Godzilla, channeling the God of War, Ares, in your body; you harshly press Seowon’s number on your phone to call him and he answers after three rings.

“What’s up?”

“I will fucking murder you,” you snarl.

A beat. You hear shuffling. Then he answers, “you already talked with Jungkook?”

The nonchalance and calmness in his voice drives you to be more frustrated than you already are. “Yes, I have! What is wrong with you? Why would you plant that idea on his head?” You yell, not caring that your walls are thin and that your voice can probably be heard by the couple that lived next door. You’re feeling a mixture of anger, embarrassment, and every negative emotion that exists at the moment. You’re comparable to a bull who just saw the color red.

“____, it won’t be a big deal if you don’t make it to be.”

“Are you hearing yourself right now?”

“Did you even let Jungkook explain?”

“I don’t need him to spell everything out. I know why he’s asking me to marry him.”

“Then you know too that it’d be good for you.”

“Marrying him won’t be good for me.”

“Why not?”

“It just won’t!”

“You’ll get health insurance benefits that you don’t get with your current jobs. You can pay less rent once you move in at Jungkook’s place—there’s a huge chance he won’t even let you pay him while you stay there too. He’s away most of the time anyway, so staying there wouldn’t be a problem. Plus, you can start studying for a masters degree like you’ve always wanted.”

You groan. “Not like this. This is crazy.”

“The both of you can divorce once you’ve saved up a little. It really isn’t that complicated.”

“It’s a sham marriage!”

“It’s a sham marriage with Jungkook.”

“That doesn’t make it better.”

“Are you sure? Your grade school diary might disagree.”

“Oh my God, that’s fucking low of you to bring that up. You just gave me another reason to hate you.” You stomp around the living room, acting like a teenager because of your brother’s behavior. This isn’t the first time he revealed that he’s read your diary before; that doesn’t mean it’s less infuriating to be reminded that he has. “I swear, you better fucking sleeping with one eye open tonight. I’m choking you to death.”

Seowon laughs out loud. “Just marry him. He’s surprisingly amicable with the idea.”

“That’s because you’re pressuring him! I bet you and Mom devised this entire thing together.”

“Mom doesn’t know. To be fair, she’d probably have the same reaction as you. It’s all me and Jungkook.”

“Wow. You have two brains and yet none of you thought this was goddamn stupid?”

“It’s not stupid. It’s genius if you come to think of it,” he says. “Jungkook just wants to help you, dude. He wants to make sure you’ll be okay and all that shit. You’re the reason he filed for a two-week leave, did he tell you?”

Your heart does that jumping thing again. “No.”

“Well, he did. He’s on a break for two weeks because he wants to convince you to marry him and actually marry you within that time frame.”

“This is nuts.” You sigh, finally flopping down the sofa and rubbing your face with your free hand. “The both of you are nuts. How are you okay with this?”

“It’s Jungkook. I trust him. Don’t you?”

“Of course, I do, I just—” you cut yourself off and frown, “I just feel like it’s unfair for him. I’m marrying him because of military spouse benefits and what does he get?”

There’s a long pause, and you almost check your phone to see whether Seowon has already hung up on you or not.

“It’s better that Jungkook answers that question,” he tells you finally.

“Why? You can’t answer it on behalf of him?”

“Something like that.” You can imagine him shrugging. “All I know is that he’s genuinely concerned about your health and your financial status right now. So, just think about it, okay?”

“God, fuck it, fine. I’ll think about it.” You grimace.

You hang up and glance at the door.

You don’t think the conversation you just had with Seowon took that much time. The initial rush you had upon having your longtime crush propose to you is wearing off and you’re realizing that it was a dick move to literally slam the door right in Jungkook’s face earlier, leading you to stand up from your seat and look through the peephole to check if he’s still there.

He isn’t, which you sigh in relief at.

As you lean against the door and regulate your breathing, you think how funny it is that Seowon is right about one thing—and that was grade school you would have been delighted at the thought of getting married to Jungkook. He’s your dream guy; your parents loved him, his parents loved you, the both of you got along very well, and his personality and looks are everything that you’re looking for in a partner. It sucks that you live in a world where the only reason he wants to marry you is because he’s afraid you’ll die because of self-neglect. 

Your phone pings and you unlock the screen to look at the message that flashes on it.

Jungkook: hey, seowon just messaged me to say that you two already talked Jungkook: i’m sorry for jumping on you with a topic like that… Jungkook: i’m shit at confrontation lol Jungkook: also it’s the first time i’m proposing so give me some slack

You scoff at his audacity to joke about it this soon.

You: it’s okay You: i’m sorry too for what i did You: the answer is no btw

Jungkook: already??? Jungkook: let’s talk about it first

You: no need You: i don’t want to marry you

Jungkook: oof that’s harsh

You: sorry not sorry?

He doesn’t respond and you think you’re safe. Maybe Jungkook does take no for an answer and you’re confused because you’re a little disappointed that he’s not falling on his knees, begging you to marry him like what your imagination is supplying you.

However, after you took a shower and went to check your phone again, you see that Jungkook messaged you a few minutes ago in response to your last message.

Jungkook: give me 10 days and i’ll change your mind

You have the urge to go take a shower again because of how hot your body is feeling at the statement.

You: hate to break it to you but you’re not matthew mcconaughey

Jungkook: 🤣🤣🤣

****

It’s not part of Jungkook’s branding to chase a woman. Typically, women chase him; they chase him in every city and country that he gets stationed in, flirting with him and hoping that they’ll get the chance to take him home for the night for a mindblowing one-night stand. They never succeed though, for despite their pretty faces and sultry gestures, Jungkook only smiles and declines every offer, saying that he had a girl waiting back home that he loved very much.

He used to think that he only used that as an excuse because he’s not the type to hook up with every attractive girl he meets. There are times when he succumbs, when he gives into the temptation of a little fun, especially after a life threatening or highly stressful mission—but most of the time, he thinks he declines and use that pronouncement of his because his mind reverts him to the idea of you, to what would happen if he just gained the balls to ask you out.

Evidently, although asking you out and asking you to marry him are two completely different things, he’s a bit afraid that your answer will always be a hard no. It’s what you’ve been literally spelling out to him since the day he presented the idea, regardless of how he’s trying his best in swooning you or explaining how this is the perfect plan to help you gain an upper hand with your diagnosis.

“I’ll file a restraining order against you, I’m serious,” you say to him when he appears yet again outside the faculty room, waiting for you to gather your things and head home. You’re wearing a white button up shirt and pinstripe wide leg trousers, an outfit combination that he ogles at before he goes down to business.

“You wouldn’t.” He glares at you. He gestures for you to let him take your backpack, and despite what you said, you let him. “Also, what the fuck is in this thing? You’ll break your back if you keep using this.” He swings your backpack on one shoulder.

You laugh. “My laptop, its charger, a couple of notebooks, books, pens, then the outputs of my students.”

“Aren’t they supposed to submit virtually? What happened to Google Classroom?”

“I still use it, but sometimes I like to have their work printed out so I can write the comments better. How do you know Google Classroom?”

“I have a squadronmate whose kid uses it for class.”

“Ah.” You nod in understanding.

You two continue walking forward.

This has been your program for the past few days. Jungkook goes to the university you work at, he’ll wait outside, you’ll threaten him with something ridiculous, he’ll take your bag, he’ll offer to take you to dinner, you’ll decline, and then he’ll drive you home anyways. Before that routine ends, he’ll lean on your door frame and give you his best puppy eyes, asking you to marry him for the sake of your welfare, and you’ll scowl at him, insisting that you don’t need his help to survive.

“Dinner?” he asks, right on schedule.

You glance at him. “No. I want to go home and sleep for 12 hours.”

“Busy day?”

“Yep.”

“You know, if you marry me, you won’t have to work two jobs and overexert yourself.”

He doesn’t need to turn to you to know that you’re giving him a dirty look. “I won’t marry you, Jungkook.”

“Why not?”

“Because marriage doesn’t work that way.”

“It does. Billionaires do it all the time. The mafia does it too. It’s always been some kind of transaction.”

“Well, if I marry you, what do you get?”

“The assurance you’re taken care of.”

“That’s cheesy.”

You share a laugh and he grins.

“It’s true,” he says. “I’ll be fine as long as you are.”

He waits for you to quip back a reply, flickering his eyes to you when it takes longer than usual. Instead of the sneer he’s expecting, you appear to be flustered, an expression that is very recognizable for him who’s known you since forever—an expression that makes it too obvious for Jungkook that the crush you had on him that he thought has been long gone was still there. He’s been seeing it a lot lately, particularly when he’s uttering lines that sound flirtatious on purpose; he’s positive that you’ll threaten to kill him when you discover that he basks on the fact that he can still make you all flustered and cute, which encourages him to do and say anything that would elicit a reaction from you. Was it unethical to seduce you into marrying him? He might have to rethink that part too.

Reaching the parking lot, he unlocks the doors to his vehicle and places your bag inside the backseat. He watches you walk around the car, about to go to the passenger’s side, but then you wobble a bit and his attempt to get inside is instantly forgotten.

“Hey,” he strides to where you are, gazing at you as you now hold onto the hood, “you alright?”

You raise your chin up. “Kook, can you get my bag?”

Jungkook doesn’t need to be told twice. He’s swinging the door again and getting your bag from the other end of the backseat while you get on the passenger’s seat, keeping the door wide and placing your legs outside, your feet planted on the concrete.

“What do you need?” he asks, crouching in front of you and zipping the bag open.

“Glucometer.”

He halts. “What does that look like?”

“It’s in the yellow bag. There.” You point at it right when he rummages through a certain part.

He brings it out and you take it from his grasp. Your movements are sluggish but he can discern that you’re doing your best not to be too slow; he’d present to help but he knows that he might prolong what you’re doing due to his cluelessness, so he just observes, noting how you’re pricking your finger with a device and then pressing it lightly to the glucometer which shows that your blood sugar is low.

“Blue bag,” you mutter to him and he finds it faster than the last one.

It’s the insulin this time. You grab the unopened syringe, rip it out from its packet, insert it to the vial of insulin—then your hand shakes, preventing you from continuing.

“Let me do it,” he says.

You don’t fight him, you just slump against the seat as Jungkook picks up from where you left, and the moment he administers the insulin through your shoulder, a huge and long exhale escapes you.

“How are you feeling?” he whispers. He didn’t notice that he was holding his breath the entire duration of the scene.

Another sigh. “Better.”

“Does this happen a lot?”

You seem to hesitate. “Not a lot. Just when life gets a bit too hectic.”

“____—”

“Just take me home.” You don’t give him the chance to lecture you. “Please, Jungkook.”

Defeated, he nods. “Alright.”

“Thank you.”

He helps you position yourself properly on the passenger’s seat. “But we’re talking about this at your place.”

Before you can protest, he closes the door.

****

Lee Hyunwoo was the name of the guy that you brought home for Christmas Eve eight years ago. It was the first time that you did, and Jungkook hated how Hyunwoo was considerably handsome, intelligent, and kind—the exact kind of person he always imagined you deserved.

In the short time Hyunwoo spent with theirs and your family that night, everybody loved him and was already inviting him to the next gathering, all the while Jungkook avoided him at every cost, puzzled by this strong dislike he was feeling for your guest. He was annoyed at the manner in which Hyunwoo had an arm around your waist the entire evening, how you grinned up to him, eyes sparkling and all that shit. Hell, you used to look at him like that.

“Honey, can you get the mango float we have in our freezer?” Jungkook heard your mother tell you, and without thinking, he stood up from his chair and made a beeline to where you were, telling you he’d accompany you to your house.

“That’s fine,” you told him. “It’s literally next door.”

“Yeah, but it might be heavy.”

“It’s not.”

“Better safe than sorry.”

You rolled your eyes and agreed then, excusing yourself from Hyunwoo who was in an engaged conversation with Seowon. The pair were geeking out because of their mutual love for the MCU and the next film slated to be released the following year.

Upon arriving at your home, you dashed to the kitchen with Jungkook trudging behind you. He wasn’t sure what his next course of action should be now; all he wanted was some alone time with you, away from the presence of that college boyfriend of yours, but now that he had that, he couldn’t think of anything that he wanted to say or do. He wasn’t even sure why he was feeling a bit jealous—was it because of that saying? Wherein people are bound to want what they can’t have? Or was it that you only appreciate what you had when you’ve already lost it?

“How long have you and Hyunwoo been dating?” he asked, leaning against the counter as you pulled your freezer open.

“Four months, I think.”

“Four months? And you already brought him home?”

You snorted at his tone. “His family is in another country so I thought it’d be nice to invite him.”

“You must really like him then.”

“Yeah, but I’m not in love with him or anything.” You placed the mango float on the space beside Jungkook on the counter. “He’s nice, and he likes me too.”

“Does he treat you well?”

You flashed your eyes at him, amusement dancing in them. “What’s with that question?”

“What’s with it?”

“Nothing, it’s just that…” you trailed, a smirk etched on your face. “Wait a minute, are you… you can’t possibly—” Jungkook was widening his eyes, ready to deny your accusation once you questioned whether he was jealous of Hyunwoo or not— “are you pulling an overprotective brother skit on me, Kook?”

Fuck, thank God, he thought.

“I prefer ‘overprotective friend skit’,” he said.

“That doesn’t have a nice ring to it.”

“But I’m not your brother.”

“You don’t have to be, I’m just saying that you and Seowon have been acting similar since Hyunwoo and I arrived.”

“Nonsense. Seowon likes him.”

���Oh, so you don’t?”

He pressed his lips into a tight line.

“Did you just admit that you don’t like Hyunwoo?” you asked, chuckling. He was grateful that you didn’t seem to be offended by it.

“I didn’t say I didn’t like him.”

“Instead you implied it.”

“No, I didn’t.”

“You kinda did.”

He heard you laugh and he couldn’t help but allow himself to laugh as well.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized. “Maybe I’m just not used to you dating anyone. You are chronically single.”

“Can’t say you’re wrong.” You snorted and picked up from the mango float, marching back to his house and gesturing for him to follow you.

He did, no words spoken between the both of you once more. Though when you were entering their place again, with Jungkook holding the door open for you, he mentioned something he never reckoned he’d have the guts to mention out loud.

“When you open my gift,” he began, “don’t do it in front of Hyunwoo, okay?”

“Why not?” You weren’t paying attention to where you were going, intrigued by his warning.

“He might not like it. You’ll see.”

That night, at the comfort of your bedroom, Hyunwoo nowhere near but instead sleeping at the coach downstairs in your living room, you opened Jungkook’s gift and saw that it was a necklace with your birth flower as its pendant.

You smiled, rolling your eyes to yourself, and slept with that giddy look never leaving your face.

****

“Not so fast,” Jungkook grunts.

Did he think that you were going to be less difficult since he was helpful earlier? Yeah, he did. He likes to think that if it wasn’t for him, you would have taken longer in injecting yourself with insulin, so he at least wanted a thank you in the form of your willingness to have an adult conversation with him tonight. However, that clearly isn’t the case because when he walked you up to your apartment like he always did, you’re attempting to lock him out, shutting the door as fast as you can once you’re inside, thus trying to prevent him from initiating that talk he wanted the two of you to have.

“Seriously?” He successfully pries the door open and you scowl at him.

“Jungkook—”

“No, you don’t get to reason your way out of this. I’m done hearing you out. It’s your turn to listen to me.” He steps inside your apartment.

You groan, striding to the sofa and throwing your bag there. “You can’t force me to marry you.”

“Is marrying me so fucking bad that you can’t get over it for health insurance benefits that can really help you?” He demands, infuriated. 

“That’s not the issue.”

“Then what is?”

“You can get arrested!” you exclaim. “And so can I! Does that not freak you out?”

“We’ll only get arrested if we get caught.”

“I’m not willing to take the risk.”

“I’m not willing to see you die.”

You scoff out a laugh. “Who the fuck said anything about dying? I’m not dying.”

“You almost passed out on me. You almost—”

“It’s an error on my part, I admit.” You sigh. “When I get busy and preoccupied, sometimes I forget to check my sugar levels regularly throughout the day. I’m sorry.”

“And you expect to be convinced that you have everything handled?”

“God, I’m not a child. Stop treating me like I can’t do shit for myself.”

“Please, ___,” he approaches you with the most pleading expression he can muster, and he watches as your hard expression crumbles, “just accept my help. It’s really not a big deal—you won’t even see me often, so keeping up with the whole marriage ploy wouldn’t be difficult. We’ll divorce in two years, we can pretend we never got married after that.”

“You just don’t get it, don’t you?”

“What do I not get? If you think I don’t understand something, then explain it to me—”

“I can’t marry you,” you say. You do so like it’s final, like there’s no point in arguing with you because he can never change your stand on this. As he’s pleading with his eyes to urge you to agree, you’re communicating with your eyes in a similar way that’s wishing he would just drop this. “It’s wrong.”

His eyebrows furrow. “This isn’t the time to go on your high horse and decide what’s wrong and what’s not. It’s a fraudulent marriage—of course, it’ll be wrong to some degree.”

“No, I mean…” You turn away from him, rubbing your face in exhaustion. “It’d be wrong of me to marry you. I’m taking advantage of you if I do, and I don’t like that.”

Jungkook shakes his head, frustration worsening at the childlike excuse. Surely, you weren’t that naive, were you? “You’re not. I’m not doing this against my own will. Besides, we get extra pay just for being married. If it makes you feel better, I won’t split it with you.”

“That won’t make me feel better.”

“Then what will?”

You flop down on the coach and lean back, closing your eyes. He knows he’s being a pain in the ass but he can’t just stand here and do nothing. He thinks he’s already come too far in convincing you, he isn’t going to back out now. Every single day spent together, he can feel you warming up to the idea of marrying him for health insurance. Your connection and entirety of your relationship has been off the charts recently that it’ll be harder for him not to be assured that before he leaves for his job, you’ll be taken care off.

Jungkook goes to the spot beside you, sitting down. Your knees bump together, he keeps on gazing at you, waiting for you to focus on him; a minute passes and his gaze moves to your hand that’s laying on the small space between you.

Without overthinking, he stretches out and clasps it, allowing his fingers to play with yours that finally captures your attention. The moment he glances up, he sees that you’re staring at him and he doesn’t let go, he even smiles, a quiet promise that he’s always willing to listen to whatever you want to tell him.

You hesitantly smile back. “You know,” your eyes train back to your intertwined fingers, Jungkook reveling in the warmth of your skin, gaining more confidence in acting out his feelings, “there was a time wherein I would have said yes immediately if you asked me to marry you.”

He smirks, can’t deny how hearing that inflates his ego a bit although this route in the conversation isn’t where he expected to go. “What changed?”

“For one, I grew up.”

“Ouch.”

You laugh. Then you stay quiet for a while before speaking. “Can I confess something?”

That piques his interest. “Anything.”

“But you have to promise not to make fun of me.”

“That’s impossible.” He teases. “What is it?”

You stall, readjusting your position so that you can directly face him. Jungkook doesn’t let go of your hand, he keeps it in his grasp, his thumb rubbing along the expanse of your knuckles.

“I like you, Jungkook. I really really do,” you finally say and he blinks, startled.

It shouldn’t surprise him, considering that it’s been long established that he knew of your crush already, though he doesn’t seem to have anticipated for you to boldly admit it when all these years, it’s only been some kind of unspoken understanding that neither of you downright acknowledged.

You continue speaking. “In fact, I like you so much that maybe it developed into love at some point—I’m not sure. I’m at this stage of no longer being afraid of what I feel, I think? Most of the time, I just let it occur like it’s something so natural. Like it’s a feeling that I can never get away from? Like whatever I do, there’s no way to shake you.” You chuckle half-heartedly. “Though never in a million years would I have thought that I’d confess all of this. What for anyway? I don’t want you to be burdened with what my teenage heart couldn’t rub out.”

His mind is racing; hundred thoughts, hundred scenarios, hundred experiences he’s spent with you since the day you met. Jungkook never realized how much he needed you to say that you liked him—that maybe you even loved him—until he heard it from your very mouth that you did, causing every inhibition and doubt he had to vanish. Now, he only wants to engulf you in an embrace and shout Yes, I feel the same way! Sorry for being a fucking corward and not doing this first!

He would have done all of that in a flash if it didn’t appear that you still had something to say. Based on your rather constipated posture and the hand he’s holding that’s becoming clammy, he discerns that you’re just in the first part of what you wanted to admit.

“Actually, that’s also why I can’t let myself marry you,” you say. “I know it sounds ridiculous, but I don’t know… it feels really icky somehow. I feel like I’m holding you hostage, or that I’m tricking you because of an ulterior motive, or that I’m defying the laws of the universe by having the chance to marry you. I’m not sure. I just know that I don’t want to marry you if it means I’ll only get to do so because you think you’re doing me a huge favor. I don’t want to be your charity case, Kook—I deserve to be more than that, you know? I’m not traditional or whatever but if it’s not for love, I’m not keen on getting married.” You abruptly pull away from his clutch, embarrassment washing on your features by what you stated. “Plus, two years might not be that long but what happens when you meet someone and you like her? How can you explain that you’re only married to me because I need it for my medication? It’ll just be unnecessarily messy. I don’t want to hold you back from those kinds of things. I don’t want to be a hindrance.”

That’s his cue. That’s when he knows he’s supposed to kiss you and take your breath away, to admit that he’s certain that he has loved you since that one time when he was in the Naval Academy and although the training was hard as fuck, the thought of you gave him strength and he didn’t want to see anyone as much as he wanted to see you after—that when you and Seowon visited him, that familiar urge to have you alone was all he felt the entire time, solidifying the idea that perhaps he didn’t just see you as a friend.

“You’re unbelievably dense, ___,” he murmurs, smirking at the play of events, and you glance at him, expression showing disbelief that he’s somehow treating this matter lightly.

“What?”

“Do you honestly think I go around and offer marriage to every woman out there who can benefit from being a military spouse? Do you think I’m that generous? I’m not. I wouldn’t ask anyone to marry me for the same reason if they weren’t important to me—or if I didn’t like them. I’m not that much of a saint,” he adds. “I mean, I’m taking a two-week break to convince you to marry me. I’m spending time with you every single day. I’m driving for almost an hour and a half, enduring the traffic to get from my apartment to the university you work in to do that—and you think this is because I want to be charitable?”

Silence. Your forehead wrinkles. He thinks you’re still not getting the point.

“I’m in love with you, ____,” Jungkook says.

Your breath hitches in your throat. You’re opening your mouth, then closing it, then opening it again, then pressing it into a thin line. He thinks you look cute, being taken aback like this, and he’s wishing that he’s done this sooner so that the last five days of him chasing you around like a lost puppy was spent with talking more about what’s possibly waiting for yours and his relationship next.

“Are you serious?” you ask after what seems like forever. “Or are you just saying that because you’re that desperate to have me on board with the whole fraudulent marriage thing?”

“God—” He’s inching closer to you now, laughing, watching your lips twitch at his reaction— “I’m convinced that you were born into this earth to drive me fucking crazy.”

And just like that, he no longer restrains himself from kissing you.

It takes you a few good seconds before you will yourself to move. You can’t seem to process the reality of Jungkook admitting that he was in love with you and then taking the liberty to plant his lips on yours. You’re not complaining, of course, but you are a bit overwhelmed that it literally makes you freeze, unaware of what you’re supposed to do now that your fantasies are coming into life.

However, once you feel him angle his head to the side, doing so to deepen the kiss, your reflexes kick in and you’re kissing him back, encircling your arms around his neck and leaning towards him, Jungkook sighing in what appears to be relief. He grips your hips to support you as you try to straddle him, but your movements are so clumsy that you end up sprawling against his chest instead, perched on a leg of his that provides pleasure on the spot you need him the most. He chuckles at your lack of gracefulness, gliding his lips to your cheek and down to your jaw, nipping.

“This okay?” he whispers with a palm drifting to your bottom.

You nod and Jungkook’s mouth is back on yours in an instant. He squeezes your ass, takes his time in fondling with it, cheekily slapping whenever you get brave yourself and push your tongue past his lips, before he skims his hand lower to your thigh and signals for you to mount him. Upon being properly sat on his lap, you get an immediate feel of his hard length through his jeans, prompting your imagination to run wild and induce the filthiest things he can do to you if neither of you stops.

“Holy shit,” he curses, your kisses roaming to the base of his throat where you lap and suck.

It becomes a dirty pattern for a while. The both of you will take a brief pause from making out to remove a piece of clothing or kiss every other exposed skin there is: the cheek, the jaw, the neck, the collarbones, the shoulders. Then one of you hauls the other back for another passionate kiss, hands skating everywhere on your bodies, sounds of arousal echoing inside the room; you’re starting to get lightheaded but you’re positive it’s not because of your sugar levels running low.

“I hate that it took us so long to get to this point,” he mutters.

You grin. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. I’m the man—I should have confessed long ago.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“I don’t know. ‘Was afraid to lose you, I guess.” He draws his head back and admires your blissed out expression. “But then when Seowon told me you had diabetes, I panicked and thought that I might lose you either way.”

You go back to making out, Jungkook guiding your hips in grinding on his clothed length. It’s addictive—the intimate feel of him, how he’s not shy in making sure you know how much he’s craving to be as close to you as you are to him. You think you can spend the whole night just doing this and be okay with it.

“Fuck, Kook,” you groan against his mouth, a hand descending to his stomach and to his manhood, “you’re so… so fuckin’ hard.”

You’re palming him now, tracing the erection evident under his boxers.

He lets out a grunt. “Yeah, baby, I know.”

“Do you… do you want me—” You’re breathless, not able to continue whatever it is that you want to say.

He understands you just fine though. “No.” He shakes his head. “Don’t do anything.”

You’re not sure what Jungkook means by that. How are you supposed to do nothing when you want to do everything to him? You soon comprehend what he means when he guides you to lay down on the sofa, when his lips skim lower and lower, passing your breasts, giving them the attention they deserve, until he goes lower than that and discards your underwear, kissing you in between your legs.

It’s like he’s releasing all the pent up emotions he’s been keeping all these years. His tongue and fingers are relentless, his voice is telling you that he’s eager to coax an orgasm out of you, and as he lifts himself up to return to his previous position, face hovering yours, you’re positive that he’ll get everything he wants because without a doubt you’ll give him everything he wants from you too. Hell, if he uses this opportunity to ask you to marry him again, you might answer yes straight away, no longer bearing in mind the worries you expressed to him earlier.

Although did that even matter anymore? Jungkook said he loved you. He said you drove him crazy. You never thought you’d come to see the day he’d utter those words but here you are. The man of your dreams is kissing you, pleasing you, and looking damn enthusiastic as he does all of that.

“Last chance to stop me,” Jungkook teases. His eyes are glassy and you can feel his cock nudging on your thigh.

You giggle, bringing his head closer to press another long kiss on those pink and plump lips of his. “Please never stop.”

“Never?”

“Never.”

“I’m going to take you up on that.”

“Please do.”

After this night, you’re certain that you’ll never allow yourself to be with another man aside from Jungkook. At the back of your head, you always thought that you were his, regardless if that wasn’t true or that there was no real relationship to prove that—however, at this moment, as he thrusts in and out languidly, you unquestionably know that you’re his. You belong to him now and he belongs to you; he lets you know through his love-filled gaze, his passionate kisses, and the manner wherein he moans your name.

“I love you,” he says, like he’s still in deep longing for your touch and affection.

You hum, tangling your fingers through the strands of his hair. “I love you, Kook.” You stare at his eyes. “I can’t remember a time I didn’t.”

A boyish grin erupts on his features.

Time passes by quickly. In a few more of his kisses, of the intoxicating slam of his hips, of his seductive whimpers, you’re coming beneath him, Jungkook pulling out and jerking his length until he too comes, his seed landing on the base of your tummy. You have the nerve to giggle at that, grinning at him with low-lidded eyes, and Jungkook hastily wipes his cum off your skin, attacking you with another passionate kiss that leaves you breathless.

“There’s no way you’re not marrying me after this,” he murmurs.

You teasingly graze your teeth on his bottom lip. “I’ll think about it.”

He groans. “Don’t think about it. Just say yes.”

“At least let me sleep on it, Kook.”

“Fuck—fine.” He grabs your sides and pulls you flush against his body. “Guess I’ll have to keep on convincing you until you agree.”

****

“God, why is this so difficult?” Jungkook whines, keeping you in his embrace, head tucked between your cheek and shoulder.

The air is very humid and Jungkook’s in his naval aviator uniform, which doesn’t look cool in a sense that air is properly flowing through the material. He doesn’t care though, doesn’t care that it’s sticking to his skin as he refuses to let you go, not even when you complain playfully.

“Kook, I’m fucking sweaty.”

“I don’t care.”

You laugh. 

He’s leaving to return to his duty and you’re here with him outside the base before he enters, being with him until the last possible minute because that’s how much of a good wife you are.

Yes, you and Jungkook did get married. Three days ago in fact, at the city hall’s courtroom. Neither of you invited your parents; they didn’t know about the occasion and you refused to tell them, afraid that they may be critical about yours and his choices when they discover the true reason why you’re rushing to be wed. The only people that remained to be aware of it was Seowon and his girlfriend, Winnie, who served as the witnesses, which was fine by you. In your understanding, this was just for the papers and your health, and not the real deal yet to be celebrated lavishly.

“I’ll propose to you again after a couple of years,” Jungkook promised after the ceremony. “Let’s renew our vows and I’ll give you an amazing wedding.”

You would have told him that there was no need, but who were you kidding? You did want a proper wedding with Jungkook. The previous week didn’t even feel like you were newlyweds. Yes, the both of you compacted all of the dates you could have if one of you weren’t such a chicken in five days, and yes, though the honeymoon stage was experienced and practiced—it was only because you were a new couple who after years of hiding their feelings for one another, was now finally free to express it as much as they desired.

“Call me everyday?” you ask when he finally pulls back, Jungkook pecking your lips one more time.

“Definitely.” He smiles. “Visit me whenever possible?”

“Of course.” You kiss him too.

His smile transforms into a grin. “Take care of yourself, alright? Keep me updated all the time. No sugarcoating allowed.”

“Yes, Lieutenant.”

Rolling his eyes, he gives you another kiss and engulfs you in a tight hug, lifting you off the ground that causes you to giggle.

“Okay, pack it up, love birds!” Seowon shouts.

The two of you turn to your brother who’s leaning on his car, the vehicle that was used to transport the three of you today. You’re still in the middle of moving your belongings at Jungkook’s place and Seowon was kind enough to volunteer helping, always dubious that you could do stuff on your own. Despite your reluctance, you let him assist you, mostly because you’re trying to make a conscious effort in not upsetting him again.

Let’s just say that when the judge hailed you husband and wife at the civil wedding, Seowon wasn’t thrilled to see that the kiss shared between you and Jungkook wasn’t as fake as the supposed sham marriage, leading him to the conclusion that in the middle of Jungkook’s ruse of convincing you to be his wife, something must have happened that led to your approval and that rather 18+ rated kiss. Mostly though, he’s just offended that neither of you thought of telling him that you were an official couple before the wedding.

Jungkook unwillingly places you down.

“I think I need to go,” you say.

He nods with a sigh. “I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too.”

“Call you tomorrow?”

“Yes.” You affectionately caress his cheek, bringing his face down for the very very very last kiss. 

He leans into it. “Fuck, I don’t want to leave.”

“Seriously—hurry up!” Seowon shouts and you pull back.

“I will kill him,” you tell Jungkook.

“He’s your brother,” he says. “And now, my brother-in-law, so I can’t let you do that.”

“That might be your very first red flag, Jungkook, insinuating that you’re choosing my brother over me.” You cross your arms. “Tell me, if the both of us were drowning, would you save me or Seowon?”

“You,” he answers without missing a beat.

You narrow your eyes. “Is that the truth?”

“Of course. Seowon would probably undrown himself anyway and you’re shit at swimming. It’s an easy choice.”

You punch him hard on the shoulder and he feigns hurt, snickering. “For the record, I don’t think anyone can ‘undrown’ themselves—but fine, you pass the test.”

Jungkook faces Seowon’s direction and does a final salute, your brother returning it swiftly, and just like that, you and him share your last farewells. You watch as he goes through the entrance of the base and sends you a wave of goodbye; you weakly copy the gesture and stand there for a few seconds, just watching him fade from your view the further he trudges inside. You don’t think saying goodbye to him ever felt this heavy, and you blame it on the fact that after all this is the first time you’re saying goodbye to him with the assurance that he loves you too—and that alone weighs millions.

You spin on your heel and go to Seowon who’s already in the driver’s seat. As soon as you get in and wear your seat belt, he’s giving you a dirty look.

“What?” you ask.

“Please never do that in front of me again.”

His statement makes you smirk. “Why? Didn’t you want this?”

“Want what?”

“Me and Jungkook to be together.”

“When on earth did I say that?”

“You previously admitted that you were lowkey playing cupid by suggesting that Jungkook marry me for health insurance.”

A short pause. “Yeah, but that doesn’t mean I have to watch you two reenact a porno every fucking time.”

“We’re not—”

“You are. Don’t deny it.” He grumbles. “God, every time I see you two, it’s like I’m Ross from that one Friends episode where he accidentally sees Monica and Chandler doing it from the window of his apartment.”

“Yeah, I remember that.” You laugh. “In my defense, you haven’t seen me and Jungkook actually do the deed so—”

“Wait, so the two of you have?”

Your expression drops. His tone is approaching older brother protectiveness territory and you’re quick to attempt diffusing the situation. “I will not dive into that. All I’m going to say is that I’m a grown adult and so is Jungkook.”

He grimaces before starting the engine. “Yeah, never dive into that. I don’t need to hear the details.”

You share a laugh and then silence fills the car.

You press your lips together, looking at him while he backs out from the parking spot. “Hey, thanks, by the way. For driving today, and for offering to help me later, and maybe for also never minding your own business.”

You recall how Seowon was the one who couldn’t stop worrying about you and finding a solution when you told your family that you had type 1 diabetes. Your parents were concerned, they pestered you for months to force you to accept financial assistance from them, but they gave up soon after. Seowon though? He never did. He persisted through every outburst you had; he tolerated your bitchiness and your dirty looks all the time. Out of everyone in your life, you always felt like regardless of how stubborn and prideful you could be, Seowon was worse—in the best way possible.

A crooked smile illuminates his face. “You’re my kid sister. It’s my job to never let you experience peace in your whole life.”

You scoff. “Well, you’re damn great at what you do.”

When you reach Jungkook’s apartment, unloading the boxes and arranging your stuff to its designated places, your heart swells in happiness as the reality sinks in that your life is heading in the right direction after months of feeling hopeless. It drives you to be more thankful to the little things, to the people who were always by your side, to your previous circumstance that although wasn’t ideal was still manageable. A lot don’t get to have that kind of privilege and you promise yourself that you’ll make an effort to find more things to be grateful about from this day forward.

“Oh, I forgot to mention,” Seowon approaches in the middle of you arranging your books on Jungkook’s near to empty shelf, “Winnie wanted to give you this. She would have handed it over herself but she’s going to be busy for the next few days.”

You take the frame from his hand and see that it’s the picture Winnie took of you and Jungkook after the ceremony. It’s in the restaurant that you ate at to celebrate the civil wedding. Jungkook was grinning at you with an arm around on the backrest of your chair, you were leaning towards him, smiling at the camera—and the absolute selling point of why this was the best picture ever taken was because of how cake icing was scattered on your faces, places on spots in an artistic manner like it was planted there on purpose for the picture and not because the both of you were being silly that instance.

You think it showcases your relationship with Jungkook marvelously. It’s playful, it’s sweet, and most of all, it demonstrates how you two are clearly great friends.

“This is so beautiful, Seowon,” you say.

You immediately send Winnie a heartfelt thank you message for the gift and continue to take a photo of the frame, sending it to Jungkook as well.

Once you hit send, you type out a message to accompany it.

You: look how cute we look 🥹

You’re certain it’ll take hours before he replies so you keep your phone again, going back to staring at the picture which is now placed on one of the shelves. It’s the sole picture frame you have with Jungkook. In fact, it’s the only picture that Jungkook has in his apartment, and you like to think that this might be the mark of the new beginning you’ll have with him. Even though your relationship wouldn’t be traditionally explored given his occupation and how he’s most likely going to be away a lot, you don’t mind.

If there’s one thing you really believe in, it’s that waiting for Jungkook—whether consciously or unconsciously—always brings out the best outcomes.

thank you for reading! as i live for positive reinforcement, feedback is always appreciated ♡

[literally-izzy]

Just Friends?

summary: you’re in love with your best friend who doesn’t feel the same way. right?

Modern AU!Anakin Skywalker and Fem!reader

A/n: ah! this is my first time writing a fic and i might’ve gotten carried away… there’s also original names. not all of the names are star wars related.

cw: smut; unprotected piv, pet names, car accident..

Love. It’s a funny thing. I’ll never understand it. I only know that when it hits you, it hits you hard. Here I am, 25 and still pining over a man who doesn’t want me. You would think that after ten years I would forget about him and move on. It’s hard when he’s your best friend. Anakin Skywalker. I met him my sophomore year, his freshman year. Our moms worked together and became best friends. It was only inevitable that we would too. Every weekend was a movie night at the Skywalker house. Filled with love and laughter. The only times I hated it was when an unwanted visitor came. But I denied the real reason I disliked her.

I told myself it was just because she was too quiet. Not outgoing. Definitely not because she was dating him…. I hated the way he held her in his arms. I eventually began to realize it was because I wished it was me. Any moment I had alone with him was bliss. She didn’t go to our school. They met at summer camp the year before we became friends. So, school, especially choir was a safe place to be with him. He made me laugh like no other. And never changed the way he acted around me when his friends were around.

Now here I am, teaching a class of annoying seventh graders how to sing. Anakin is still in med school. I always admired him for it. He never thought he was smart enough for it. It took my encouragement. We still keep tradition and every Friday night; I go over to his apartment for movie night. When he graduated, he and his girlfriend, Padme, split up. So, for the past 6 years, I’ve never really had to worry about anyone else. He only had a few short relationships throughout the past six years since he graduated. Occasionally his sister joins us for movie night, that’s when we have to watch cheesy hallmark movies. Not that I hate all of them, but I dislike most of them.

I looked down at my desk and saw a text on my phone.

“Just you and me for movie night. Up for Fast and Furious?”

I smiled at the text. My students were currently working on their assignment, so I replied,

“That’s a stupid question, Anakin”. I put my phone down and I sat my chair.

He texted back almost immediately, “so I take that as a yes, y/n?”

I rolled my eyes. “It’s a yes. I’d love to talk more but I have a class to teach. Love ya”

“I’ll say a prayer for those students lol. Love ya.”

I smiled at the last sentence. We’ve been inseparable for ten years. Of course, we love each other. Mine just goes deeper than his. I’ve thought multiple times about telling him. But I just couldn’t. He’s always with someone new when I finally muster up the courage to tell him. And its not like I’ve stayed single. I’m actually with someone right now. He’s amazing in every way. He’s just not Anakin. I looked down at my phone again and realized I had a text from him.

“Hey babe, I’m gong out of town to see my parents for the weekend. I know you’re going to Anakin’s apartment for movie night, so I figured i’d tell you now”.

I feel like such a bitch. At least he’s not jealous of Anakin. My last relationship ended because I refused to stop seeing him.

I texted back, “okay, have fun!” I know I should’ve said more, but I really didn’t care. I saw another text from him but before I could answer it, the bell rang.

“Okay class, that’s homework if you didn’t finish it. Have a great weekend!” All the kids quickly piled out of my classroom. Once I was alone, I read the text from Trey.

“Okay. I will. Be safe on your drive up there.”

“I will.” I replied. I got my things together and walked out to my car. Once I got in, I connected my phone and started blasting love songs. I’m a hopeless romantic. I started driving.

He lives in the main part of Coruscant. Which is about 45 minutes away from where I live. I spent the drive belting love songs, consciously daydreaming about the life I could have with Anakin.

Once I pull into his driveway, he’s already outside waiting for me.

“Jeez, y/n, took you long enough” he smirks.

“Fuck off, Anakin” I laugh and flip him off. I walk closer to him and give him a hug. It only lasted a couple of seconds, but it felt like hours. His muscular arms wrap around me tightly and contract as we breathe in sync. He smelled like the woods behind his house, where we used to explore. His curly dirty blonde hair that shaped his face brushed against my cheek as he finally pulled away. He stood aside, gesturing for me to enter his apartment.

“Wow, you cleaned!” I teased him as I took off my shoes and sat on his black leather couch.

“Yeah, but not for you. It is my bachelor pad after all” he smirked as he sat down beside me.

“Of course,” I said with an eye roll. I tried not to sound annoyed, but I know I did. Part of my annoyance isn’t even because I want him to myself. Some of it is because he’s not as careful as he should be. He just whores around because his good looks and charm let him. One day, he’s gonna end up being a baby daddy to at least three women. And I know i’d still be around to help him. Always being his best friend. Never the love of his life.

“Pizza should be here soon” Anakin interrupted my thoughts.

“Okay great” I give him a warm smile as he sits down beside me. He pulls out his phone and starts to text someone. I know I should give him his privacy, but I’m a nosey bitch. I discreetly shift my head and side my eyes towards his phone. He’s texting a girl named Aayla. From what I could see, they’ve obviously been hooking up.

“Who’s that?” I asked, letting my jealousy get the better of me. He looks up and smirks.

“Just a girl I’ve been seeing occasionally. Why? You jealous?” He teased. I knew he was teasing but I couldn’t stop my face from turning bright red. Every normal word went out the window. I couldn’t speak. Finally, I shook myself out of it and responded nonchalantly.

“Hell no. I don’t need whatever diseases you’ve contracted from your escapades” I teased. He laughed and playfully rolled his eyes. He put his phone face down on his lap and shifted his body to face me. His black ‘KISS’ tee shirt tightened around his body, outlining his stunning six-pack.

“So, how’s everything with Trey?” His face was calm. His lips pressed into a peaceful smile.

“Everything’s great. We just came up on 4 months together.” I couldn’t think of anything interesting to tell him. As bad as it sounds, my relationship with Trey is vanilla. Nothing daring or exciting.

“Can I ask you something?” He raised his eyebrows slightly.

“Of course,” I smiled.

He paused, thinking of what to say next. “So, I’ve only seen him a few times, but he looks awfully boring. Is he any good in bed?”

My jaw dropped. I started laughing a little. “I guess so. He’s only the second guy I’ve been with. I don’t have much to compare him to”.

“Wait, really?” He looked astonished.

I immediately started blushing. I felt embarrassed. “Um, yeah…”

“How come you never told me?” He looked genuinely hurt that I didn’t tell him I’ve only slept with two men.

“I don’t know. We’ve never really gone into detail about our sex lives”

“Yeah, but I mean, I told you when I lost my virginity at least. You didn’t even tell me that.” He sounded so hurt. And I could see where this was coming from. Besides this one topic, I tell him everything. He looked down at my hands that were fidgeting in my lap. All of a sudden, he grabs them. His big strong hands gripping my smaller ones, with a look of compassion on his face. “y/n, please don’t feel like you have to keep things from me. I’m your best friend. I would never judge you”.

How was I not supposed to melt. I nodded and swallowed, keeping my hands in his. “I lost my virginity when I was nineteen. In college. I was with Maul. I was embarrassed to say anything because you lost yours before me and I felt, different, I guess. After we split, I was scared to do it with anyone else. I’ve only recently slept with Trey.”

Just as he was about to speak, the doorbell rang. We knew it was the pizza, so he went up to get it. Once he got it, he walked into the kitchen. It only took a couple of minutes before he came back in with two plates of pizza. He set the plates down, walked back into the kitchen, and came back with two bottles of ‘Mikes hard lemonade’. He then sat beside me, turning on ‘Fast and Furious’.

We had gotten through the first three movies before I started to get sleepy. I tried to stay awake for another movie, but I couldn’t. We had talked about various things. Work, school, family, etc.

“I’m sorry, but I better leave. I’m starting to fall asleep.” I yawned tiredly.

His eyes widened. Then he started to look sad. “Wait, why don’t you just stay the weekend? I know you keep clothes in your car, and you said Trey would be at his parents’ house all weekend.”

I smiled. But then I started overthinking. What if I annoy him too much? We’ve never spent a whole weekend together without breaks. Or what if he wants to bring a girl over? I’d just get in the way. “Are you sure? What if you want to put your bachelor pad to use?” I slightly teased. Only slightly because part of me was serious.

He smirked, “Do you really think girls are over here every weekend?”

“From the way you talk about them, yes.”

He started laughing. “No, y/n. I’m really not that big of a man whore.”

I looked down at my hands, “Oh. Well, what about that Aayla girl?”

“Not important. We aren’t exclusive. She’s just something fun. There’s no relationship there. If there was, I would’ve told you, y/n.” He said seriously.

“Okay. I’ll stay. I don’t have pajamas in my car though.”

He smiled, knowing he had won. “I have a shirt and sweats you can wear.”

“Okay. Do you have a pillow for the couch?” I asked with a soft smile on my face.

“Yes. But not for you. You can have my bed. And that’s non-negotiable.”

I rolled my eyes as I stood up. I was too tired to fight. He motioned for me to follow him into his room. I’d only been in there once, and that was when he moved into the apartment. As we walked in, I was hit with the refreshing smell of his light cologne. His bed was in the corner, facing the door when you walk in. Across from his queen-sized bed was a tall, dark wood dresser. He walked over to the dresser and pulled out a gray shirt and black sweatpants.

“Here, they might be a bit big, but you’ll just be sleeping in them.”

“Thank you” I smiled. He set the clothes on his bed before walking closer to me. Once he was close enough, he wrapped his strong arms around me. I hugged him back, breathing in his scent. His head rested on my dirty blonde curls.

“Goodnight, y/n”, he breathed out before pulling away. I sighed and smiled.

“Night, Ani”. With that, he smiled and walked out, shutting his door. I began to remove my clothes and replaced them with his. I was immediately engulfed in his natural woodsy scent. I then crawled into his bed. It was very soft, like laying on a cloud. His black sheets smelled like him. I laid there and started thinking about the future I could have if I just grow a pair and tell him. Eventually, I closed my eyes and drifted off, wishing he was laying beside me.

While I was sleeping, I felt something on my hair. I decided to ignore it. But I can't help but hope it was him. But I won't bring It up.

♡

I woke up to the sound of sizzling. I sat up and admired the way the sun shined on my body through the window above the bed. I tossed my legs over the side of the bed and walked out to the kitchen. I was hit with the smell of bacon, my favorite. I walked further in to see Anakin humming and cooking. He was so focused on breakfast; he didn’t even notice I was awake. So, I started to sing the words of the song he was humming. He quickly turned around with a huge grin on his face. His robe was open, exposing his bare chest. His body was God-like.

“You have such a beautiful voice, y/n/n” he complimented me. Sure, he knew I could sing, but this felt different. I blushed a little before responding.

“Thank you, Ani”. I smiled.

“Did you sleep well?” He asked with his eyebrows slightly raised.

“Yes, I did. Your bed is very comfy” I smiled.

He let out a small chuckle. “I know. So, I deserve a big thank you for letting you sleep in it for this weekend”

I rolled my eyes. “Thank you for letting me sleep in your incredibly comfy bed.”

“You’re welcome.” He turned back around to get our plates ready. Once he was done, he took them to the table and sat down waiting for me. We sat there and ate the eggs and bacon he had made. Then I remembered something.

“Last night, what were you going to say before the pizza got delivered?”

He looked down. He was thinking. “Well, I guess I was just surprised, I guess. It’s hard to believe you’ve only slept with two men.” I looked into his eyes and knitted my eyebrows.

“What do you mean by that?”

“Oh, c’mon y/n/n. Just because we’re best friends, doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate how beautiful you are.” I choked on my water. I coughed for a few minutes before responding.

“Oh. Really?”

He smiled and laughed lightly. “Yes. Really.” I could’ve died right there. Why couldn’t he be mine?

Once we finished eating, I walked into his living room and sat on the couch. I got on my phone to check any missed calls or notifications I might’ve had. All I had was a text from Trey.

“Good morning, beautiful. Missed waking up next to you this morning” I didn’t. I wished it was Anakin.

“Why is he so cheesy?” I heard Anakin ask from beside me. I can’t blame him for being nosey, considering I did the same thing last night.

“I don’t know. It’s not my favorite if I’m being honest” I said with a slight grimace. He laughed before focusing back on his phone. I looked back down at the text and decided to respond.

“Good morning! Don’t miss me too much. Enjoy your time with your parents”. I rolled my eyes as I pressed send. I started scrolling on instagram. I stopped when I saw an engagement post an old friend from High school made. An instant feeling of jealousy and heartbreak came over me. I heard Anakin sigh as he started to speak.

“Oh yeah, I saw that.” He spoke as if it made no difference. It probably doesn’t to him. But to me, I feel behind. I thought I still had time to start all of that. Is 25 too old? He started to speak again when I didn’t say anything. “Hey, what’s wrong?” His voice was soft, like velvet

“Am I wasting my life?” I looked up with tears begging to be released from my eyes.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” He knitted his eyebrows together.

“I though I still had time before starting a family. I thought 25 was still young. But now, Casey is getting married.” I sniffled. The tears finally leaving my eyes. Without saying anything, Anakin pulled me into a hug. Once again, his woodsy smell engulfed my senses and I felt calm. My face was pressed against his bare chest, since he still hadn’t changed. He gently rubbed my back with his hand. After a few minutes, I pulled away to save myself from falling for him even more, if that was possible. He began to speak.

“I don’t think there’s a time limit. You start it when you’re ready.” He smiled softly.

“When did you get so smart?” I teased. He scoffed and playfully put his hand to his chest.

“I am deeply offended y/n.” I pushed him and we started laughing. He paused. “Hey, I have an idea”

“What?”

“Let’s go see my parents. It’ll give us something to do.” He shrugged. I smiled. I hadn’t seen them in a while.

“I love that idea. I just have to get my clothes out of my car and change” I stood up and did just that. I walked back in with my book bag and went into his room and changed. I walked out with my slightly ripped jeans and my favorite ‘Nirvana’ tee-shirt. Anakin smiled and walked into the room to change while I waited. He walked back out in black jeans and a plain gray shirt. Even in the plainest clothes he was ethereal. I grabbed my phone and his as we walked out the door.

•

On the drive to his parents’ house, we blasted our favorite songs. We belted our hearts out, laughed at the stupid shit he said. My heart fluttered every time he looked at me. The way he says my name. After 20 minutes, we pulled into his parents' driveway. We got out and he rang the doorbell. Their house was white and older. There was a wooded area in their backyard where Anakin, his sister Ashoka, and I would explore and mess around.

When I moved closer to my job, I was sad to be so far away. But when Anakin moved to Coruscant to go to college and Coruscant Medical School, I was elated. We were now only 45 minutes apart instead of an hour. I hadn’t been home in 6 months. My parents haven’t even met Trey. Which is intentional.

After a few seconds, his mom Shmi, opened the door and a huge grin appeared on her face. She then gasped.

“Oh! y/n!! It’s so good to see you!” She pulled me into a tight comforting hug. Anakin rolled his eyes.

“Nice to see you too mom” he teased. I pulled away and smiled. She walked forward and pulled Anakin into a hug as well. Just then, his Step dad, Cliegg, came out and gave me a side hug before hugging Anakin. Shmi finally spoke up.

“Well, come on in! I just made some chili if you’re hungry”. I walked into their house and was hit with the smell of her infamous chili. My mouth immediately started watering. I proceeded to the kitchen and didn’t waste and time on grabbing a bowl. Anakin soon entered behind me and did the same.

Once our bowls were filled, we went into the dining room and sat at the table. His parents joined us, and we began to make some small talk. Shmi smiled and began to speak.

“So, are either of you seeing anyone?” Before I could say anything, Anakin spoke up.

“Well, y/n has a boyfriend. But I’m not seeing anyone right now.” I smiled awkwardly, knowing Shmi would tell my mother. Shmi’s face looked almost sad, as if she wanted me to be single or him to not be.

“Oh, that’s wonderful! What’s his name?” She asked brightly. I looked up from the table and smiled.

“His name is Trey” I said quietly.

“Is that short for anything?” Cliegg spoke up.

“His name is Daniel Jones the third. Because he’s the third, he goes by Trey.”

“Oh, I didn’t know that.” Anakin said almost offended.

“Well, you never asked” I replied. The rest of lunch went well. After a few more hours, we decided to head back home. We hugged his parents goodbye and got back into Anakin’s truck. Once we started driving, Anakin cleared his throat and started to speak.

“Are you mad at me?” He said as if he would start crying if I said yes.

“What? No. Why would I be mad at you?” I asked genuinely.

“I don’t know. You’ve just been distant recently, I guess.” He shrugged, keeping his beautiful blue eyes on the road.

“I’m not trying to be. You’re my best friend, I would never try to distance myself from you.” I sighed. He was right. But I’m only trying to save myself from utter heartbreak.

“Okay. I believe you.” And with that, we stayed silent the rest of the ride home. The only time we spoke was when we stopped at a drive-thru to get food. We ate in the car. Still staying silent. Once we pulled into his driveway, I got out and went straight to his room to change.

In had just finished changing, when Anakin walked in. He just stood there. He didn’t say anything. I spoke up.

“Is everything go-” I was cut short by Anakin when he pressed his lips onto mine. I didn’t even have time to react before he pulled away. His eyes widened.

“I- I’m sorry.” With that, he walked out of his room and shut the door. I wanted to follow him, but I could tell he needed to be alone. I sat on the end of the bed and ran my hands through my hair. I looked down and spoke quietly.

“What the fuck just happened?” I crawled onto the bed and laid down. Did he mean to? Was he fucking with me? Did he want me as much as I want him? No. He couldn’t. It’s been too long for him not to have said anything. I curled into a ball and fell asleep thinking about what just happened.

The next morning, I woke up ready to talk to Anakin. I changed into leggings and a plain blue shirt. When I walked out, I didn’t see him anywhere. I checked every room until I saw a note on his fridge.

“I went for a drive. I don’t know when I’ll be back. I’m so sorry. I’ll see you next weekend, I hope. - Anakin. I wasn’t angry at him for leaving, surprisingly. I understood. I walked back into his room, grabbed my stuff and left. As I drove back to my apartment, I couldn’t help but start to cry. I cried because I was hurt, confused, frustrated, in love.

When I pulled into the driveway, I sat in my car and cried some more. Eventually, I got out and walked into my apartment complex. I got in the elevator and kept my eyes on the floor so no one could see me cry. When the elevator rang, I walked out and ran down the hallway to get to my door.

I walked in and ran into my room. I crawled into my bed and cried. He kissed me and he regrets it. I was stupid to think that maybe we could be something. I fell asleep with tears still running down my cheeks.

After what was probably a few hours, I heard loud knocking on my door. I got up and opened it. Trey.

“Hey gorgeous” he smiled.

“Hi.” I said quietly. I stood to the side allowing him to come in. I couldn’t stop sniffling, so he turned around with a concerned look.

“What’s wrong, beautiful?” He said softly.

“I just don’t feel good” I lied. I couldn’t tell him that my best friend kissed me, said sorry, then left and I wished he wasn’t sorry. Trey walked over to the couch and sat down. He gestured for me to sit beside him. I did. Once I sat down, he pulled me close to him. I wont lie, Trey is very comforting. He is so sweet and honestly very good looking, but he’s not him. As much as I try to enjoy being with Trey I can't.

I sat there for what felt like another hour, before I got a call. I sat up and answered.

“Hello?” I didn’t recognize the number.

“Hi, this is Coruscant Hospital. Is this y/n y/l/n?” My heart dropped.

“Yes, it is”

“We have Anakin Skywalker here. You were number one on his emergency contact list. He’s in our trauma room right now. He got into a pretty bad accident. I would suggest that you come down and call any other family members”.

I froze. I couldn’t speak. I felt tears running down my cheeks, but I couldn’t make any sound. Finally, I said okay and hung up. I told trey what happened, and I left. I drove as fast as I could without getting pulled over. I sobbed thinking the worst. I called his mom and told her. She immediately tried to calm me down and told me she was on her way.

I pulled into the parking lot and ran in. I told the receptionist his name. She looked him up and told me he was taken into emergency surgery. I sat in the waiting room. His mom eventually came, and I told her. She held me as I cried. We sat in the waiting room for 4 hours. Eventually a doctor came out.

“Are you the family of Anakin Skywalker?”. We both nodded. “He’s out of surgery. He’s in a coma right now. He shouldn’t be asleep for long, but don’t expect him to be awake tonight.”

We nodded. A nurse came and led us to his room. As soon as I saw him, I immediately broke into tears. I pulled a chair up to the side of his bed. I sat down and grabbed his hand. He had a black eye, and his arms were covered in cuts and bruises. He had stitches visible on his chest, before they went under his gown. Shmi grabbed his other hand and gave it a kiss. We sat in silence before she finally spoke.

“He’s so lucky to have you, y/n.” She said softly with a light smile.

“What do you mean?” I asked with utter confusion.

“You bring out the best in him. He trusts you more than anyone. You’d drop anything the moment he asks you to. And you care about him so much. You’ve shed more tears tonight than I think I have in the last 4 years.” She explained.

“Of course, I care about him. He’s my best friend.” She just hummed in response. After an hour or so, another nurse came in.

“Unfortunately, only one of you can stay with him. It’s hospital policy.” I immediately went to stand up when Shmi spoke.

“y/n, stay. You need to. I’ll be back in the morning.” I she said sternly. I didn’t even try to argue with her. She left and I curled up in the chair and slept the best I could.

The next morning, his mom walked in and woke me up. She had brought me some coffee and a breakfast sandwich. We turned on the television and occasionally had a conversation. I barely let go of his hand.

Shmi left to get some lunch. I stayed. I held his hand with my left hand and used my right to caress his face. I whispered softly.

“Please wake up. I need you. I-I love you. Please Ani.” I begged. I couldn’t help but shed a few tears. All I wanted was to hear his voice.

After a bit, Shmi returned, and we talked some more. Once it got late, she left and went back home. I sat there and cried some more. I needed my best friend. I needed my Ani. All of a sudden, I heard a knock on the door.

“Come in” I said calmly. Trey walked in with some food,

“I got you something to eat. Figured I could sit with you for a bit and then take you home.” He spoke.

I sighed. “Thank you for the food, but I’m staying here. I refuse to leave him.”

“Can I ask you something?” He said softly.

“Sure” I said staring at Anakin’s beautiful face.

“If that was me, would you stay all night, not eat and hold my hand?” He spoke softly, but I could tell he was sad and angry. How could I blame him? But I was tired of lying.

“No.” And I said that with full honesty. “He’s my best friend. We’ve been inseparable for ten years. Why would that change now?” I spoke quietly. Not once taking my eyes off of Anakin.

“You love him. Don’t you?” He questioned. I didn’t know what to say.

“Of course. He’s my best frie-”. He cut me off.

“Cut the shit, y/n. You love him. More than a friend. And I won’t stand in the way.” He said solemnly. He walked out and I didn’t say anything. I just kept my red teary eyes on the love of my life. Whether he felt the same or not, it’s true. I kissed his hand. And for the first time in years, I prayed.

I prayed to God that he wakes up. That I get my best friend back. I turned off the television and the lights. I sat there with only the beeping of the machines. I leaned forward, laid my head on the side of his bed and cried.

After a bit, his nurse came to check his vitals. I watched as she did her job. I could tell she was very meticulous, and I was thankful for that. After she left, I felt the urge to cry again. So, I pulled out my phone and called the only other person who comforts me. My mom. The phone rang for a couple of seconds before she answered.

“Hello?” She said calmly.

“Hey mom” I said, my voice cracking.

“Oh, baby. I heard what happened to Anakin. Shmi told me you haven’t left his side in almost two days.”

“How could I mom? He’s my person, my safe haven. I need him. I love him.” I said hesitantly.

“We all know that. We’re positive he does too. We were just wondering how long it would take before you noticed.” She said with a laugh in her voice. She was always good at seeing the positive in everything.

“Damn. We’re dense. I just called you to calm myself down but I’m getting tired so I’m going to try and sleep.” I said in a calm tone.

“Okay, sweetie. Call me if you need me. Bye.” And she hung up. I set my phone down and leaned forward again so I could keep holding his hand.

I laid my head on his arm and drifted off to sleep.

I heard talking. I thought it was just nurses until I heard his voice.

“No, don’t wake her. My mom said she barely slept. I want her to get as much sleep as possible.” It was Anakin. I shot my head up. When I did his beautiful ocean blue eyes were on y/e/c ones. I brought my hand up to cover my mouth as I burst into tears. He smiled and brought his hand up to cup my cheek.

“Never mind.” He let out a soft chuckle.

The nurses all walked out and shut the door leaving us alone. I removed my hand and spoke.

“You’re awake!” I exclaimed.

“Am I?” He teased. “y/n, I’m so sorry about what happe-” I cut him off.

“I love you. So much actually.” I blurted out.

“Wait, really?” He knitted his eyebrows

I nodded. “I love you. More than just a friend. I’ve loved you since the day we met. I’ve loved you through every friend, girl, or fight we’ve ever had. I understand if you don’t feel the same way. I just needed to tell you.”

His face calmed and he smiled. His hand grabbed my shirt and pulled me forward. When we were close enough, he pressed his lips on to mine. We kissed passionately for what felt like hours. When we pulled away, he spoke.

“I never thought I’d hear you say that. I only got girlfriends to distract myself from the fact that I loved you. I thought I finally had a chance until you got with Trey. I’ve tried so hard to contain myself, but I couldn’t. I didn’t want you to leave Friday because I couldn’t handle having to wait another week before I saw you again. And at night I came in and kissed your forehead against my better judgement. y/n, I love you more than any word could express.”

I started crying again. He pulled me close to him. I laid on my side with my head to his chest. And I stayed like that for the next three days until he was discharged.

•

I helped him walk out to my car. Once we got in and I started driving, he put his hand on my thigh. I smiled as I drove us back to his apartment. Once I pulled into his driveway, I got out and helped him get out. We walked into his apartment, and the moment his door was shut, his lips were on mine.

Anakin moved his lips from mine down to my jaw and neck. I let out small moans of pleasure. He moved his hands down and grabbed the hem of my shirt. I raised my arms so he could remove it. Once my shirt was off, we walked into his room. When we got into his room, he began to remove everything except for his boxers. I removed everything but my bra and thong.

“Should we be doing this? You just had surgery 5 days ago” I reminded him.

“Baby, I need exercise to strengthen my heart again. That shard of glass really fucked it up. And what better way to get it working than to do this?” He smirked while he explained. I chose to just nod.

He walked closer to me and caressed every inch of me. He brought his hands around my back and unclipped my bra. I let it slide down my arms as he admired my bare chest.

“You’re so fucking beautiful baby” he grabbed my breasts and began to place kisses on my neck. He pushed me onto his bed and got on top of me. He brought his hands down and removed underwear in one go. I smirked and took my hand and placed it over his boxers, rubbing the impressive bulge. He let out a whimper, which drove me crazy. I pulled down his boxers and widened my eyes. He was huge.

Anakin took his fingers and began to rub my clit. I moaned and threw my head into the pillow. He leaned forward and placed my breast into his mouth.

“That feels so good Ani” I moaned. He began to move his fingers faster around my clit, causing me to squirm. It didn’t take long until he removed his mouth from my nipple and moved his body down.

He spread my legs open, and I felt him sucking on my clit. The feeling was phenomenal. He then started lapping at my pussy like he would die without it. He then took his middle finger and ring finger and began fingering me.

“Oh my god, Anakin. I’m gonna-” I couldn’t even finish my sentence. He let out a dark chuckle before he moved his body up.

I felt the tip of his dick at my entrance. He looked at me and smirked.

“Are you ready baby?” I looked at him and nodded. “Use your words, pretty girl.”

“Fuck, yes I’m ready.” With that, I felt him push his length in me slowly. I threw my head back and moaned loudly. Once I adjusted to his length, he began to thrust into me at a decent pace. He leaned his head down and kissed me deeply while bringing a hand down to rub my clit.

“Ani, go faster” I begged. He began to go faster and felt the knot in my stomach begin to unravel. I let out louder moans until they became incoherent babbles.

“Fuck baby, you feel so good around my cock.” Anakin let out the most glorious whimper I’d ever heard. That was enough to send me into orbit.

“I’m so close” I told him, and he began to thrust faster.

“Fuck baby, me too.” He whined. He kept thrusting faster until I felt my orgasm coming.

“Ani, I’m gonna come.” I moaned. He looked into my eyes and smiled.

“Come with me baby” and with those words I felt my orgasm take over my body as his thrusts began to slow down as he came in me.

“Fuck, y/n” He panted as he pulled out. He bent down and pushed his cum back into my leaking hole, eliciting a moan from my lips.

He got off of me and laid beside me. He then pulled me close to him, so my head was on his chest.

“You have no idea, how long I’ve wanted to do that for.” He confessed and I smiled as I began to trace circles on his chest with my finger.

“Me too” I replied. He leaned his head down and kissed the top of my head.

“I love you, y/n. So much.” He said softly as his hand ran up and down my back.

“I love you too Anakin.” I replied. We laid there, talking. At one point he brought the blanket over us. After a bit, we started to get tired, and it didn’t take long before I fell asleep in his arms. Where I belonged.

[hawkewild]

During my replay of Inquisition I just can't stop thinking of In Hushed Whispers and how it parallels Solas' experience in a way.

For those who don't have quest titles memorized and don't want to google, this is the quest where you go to recruit the mages but get yeeted into the future with Dorian.

This future is (even more) apocalyptic, your companions you brought with you to Redcliffe are incarcerated and corrupted by red lyrium, others are dead or unaccounted for, and Leliana has gone through unspeakable horrors. No One Likes This (TM) and clearly the goal is to get you and Dorian back to the past to fix things so this never happens. And you do! Great.

Now imagine you get yeeted to an apocalyptic future, but people don't KNOW how apocalyptic it is. There's no one alive who remembers the old world, except maybe a handful of people. You ask people, friends, "hey wouldn't you want to go back to the past where things were better?" and the answers you get back are along the lines of "I have no interest in that", "that's a pointless question" or "I want to make the best of things here". Meanwhile "here" is a literal ongoing zombie apocalypse that's nearly tipped over into world annihilation 5 times, and that's the least of things. Cool cool cool.

Now also imagine that the state of this world is also at least partly YOUR fault, not the fault of some crazy cult, and it happened because you thought you were fixing things. I think I'd tear my hair out and eat it.

This is what Solas went through and is still currently going through, and when I think of it this way I'm honestly surprised he's not screaming all day every day. It also really puts a different twist on his comments when you get back to present day and he practically interrogates you about time travel to the point of insulting your intelligence (are you sure, are you really sure that happened? It couldn't have been something else, an illusion?)(honestly insulting your intelligence like this is on brand either way lol). What he would give to be able to go back, but he can't. There's only forward.

I don't agree with his conclusions, but I can definitely understand his horror. Regret of a god, indeed.

[dilatorywriting]

Monster Mayhem: Siren's Song [Part 3]

Gender Neutral Reader x Vil Schoenheit Word Count: 5.2k

Summary: Teaching a Siren to read is perhaps the best or worst idea that you've ever had. If only you were half as capable of reading between the lines.

[PART 1] [PART 1.5] [PART 2] [PART 3] [PART 4]

‘U-G-L-Y’

“Wow,” you drawled. “What a wonderful use of your new talents.”

The fish you were cooking landed upside down on the hot stone with a crackling sizzle of skin that you could feel as a jumping prickle of heat all along your arm. You poked at your impromptu stovetop with your impromptu stick-spatula and prepared your impromptu leaf-plates. A true culinary connoisseur, you were. When you were rescued, you were going to argue to Riddle that you deserved a promotion to the kitchens. Though, apparently not everyone appreciated your talents.

‘UGLY’ the Siren poked again, jabbing his talon into the sand.

“Then bring me prettier fish,” you returned, pointed. “It’s not that hard.”

His sharp, black claws came up to point at you next alongside his wonderful, two-syllable insult. Then back to you again, with four fingers this time. Both hands going for it. There was a tight, irritated expression on his face that you refused to call a pout because firstly, surely this vicious king of the seas could never pull something so childish. And secondly, because in these past few days you’d developed a terrible habit of just chattering each and every one of your thoughts aloud. And if you called him bratty, or dared imply such pouting was coming from his regal visage, you were just setting yourself up to get drenched by his flailing tail all over again.

“You can’t hurt my feelings,” you said, bland. “Ugly is the nicest thing you’ve ever called me.”

He huffed and smacked his fins against the sand. The trailing, dark tips cracked against your leg and you kicked him right back. It didn’t actually hurt, no more than a pinch to the side, but you’d spent enough time with this asshole now that not fighting back like a toddler pitching a tantrum wasn’t an option anymore.

Just over two weeks, now. Fifteen days and counting.

Those first few days had been spent in a nervous, prey-like panic, of course. Watching him circle the bay with his shredded fins, crying at the top of his lungs until your goosebumps had goosebumps. And then you’d helped untangle him from the mess you’d made, delicately working salt-brined twine away from weeping wounds. Sure, there’d been that whole hoopla of him pinning you in the sand after your act of Great Chivalry and promptly threatening to rip your throat out with his teeth, but you’d moved past that. The offering of home-cooked meals had softened his scaly hide, and then the even greater move of handing him your species’ alphabet like some great, guarded secret of old had sealed the deal. Cheers all around. It’d only taken you nearly being eaten, disemboweled, and drowned, but you’d made peace with your roommate. What a success story.

And now instead of trying to murder you, he just called you U-G-L-Y.

So, you know, baby steps.

The thin, pointed end of his tail whipped up from where you’d kicked him to twine around your ankle and give a sharp tug that had you sprawling face first into the sand with an oomph. Your great tumble sent all those pretty letters of his scattering in the breeze, and you spat out a mouthful of grit.

“Here’s a new one for you,” you chirped, digging your fingers into the muck. F-U-C-K—Y-O-U.

The Siren yowled, which you’d come to recognize far too well as a prickle along your nape and that forever echoing tug, tug, tug somewhere in your head that could never return the call with its corresponding answer. His tail flailed out again to smack at your hands. It was thick, and scaly, and all smooth, powerful muscle. The fact that he hadn’t crushed your poor fingers into a sad, bony paste by now beneath its wrath was a miracle. If you were a more optimistic person, you’d say he was being extra gentle with you on purpose. But even you weren’t delusional enough to think he liked you that much.

“Okay, okay,” you grouched, spitting out another mouthful of pebbles. “Fine. Just not around the food. Unless you want to have to go hunting for dinner all over again.”

The Siren huffed, rolling his eyes like it was a professional sport, and settled himself prettily back against the butt of his tail like he’d never even tried to beat you to death with his fins at all.

You sighed and pulled yourself back out of the sand, scrubbing it from your salt-sticky skin as best as you were able. You returned to poking at your fish. They weren’t too terribly singed, despite your distraction. And the Siren seemed to like the edges extra crispy either way, so it wasn’t any kind of loss. You were in the middle of balancing your impromptu stick-spatula against another impromptu stick-spoon to try and flip the fish without destroying it entirely when you felt a gentle poke, poke, poke against your arm.

You looked back and the Siren stared down at you, lips canted in a sharp smirk that was all pride.

U-G-L-Y—A-N-D—S-T-U-P-I-D, the sand said.

He’d been struggling with applying the whole -pid noise to the proper lettering, because of how similar it was to -ped. And the spelling had been tripping him up (with much obvious frustration) for the last day or so.

“Well done,” you sighed, not even too terribly upset that it had taken you months in Riddle’s impromptu classrooms to learn what he was picking up over the course of a few, harried sessions delivered with broken bits of sharp sticks and an ever changing canvas. “Try this.”

You scribbled another message in the sand. An insult, naturally, because he seemed to like those. You sounded out the letters as you hopped the tip of your finger over them one-by-one, and the Siren stared down at the inscription with the sort of intense focus meant for ancient tomes or sacred texts. You watched his lips move silently as he sounded it out alongside your mini-lesson, and then he was reaching forward to trace over the letters with the curved tip of a claw—knuckles bumping yours for a moment before shooing your hand away.

You returned to your dinner—finishing up the poor, murdered fish as best as you could and doling it out as usual. You reached out to hand pretty boy his leaf-plate, which he took like a lord accepting a meal from a lowly servant. All upturned noses and pointed disinterest. He set it beside him and nibbled on the offering as he continued to study the new task you’d given him—grand, purple fins splayed out at his sides to brush against your hip like a habit. And this was your life now, apparently. Sitting and frying lazy, shallow water fish over a heated stone while your Siren student studied curse words in the sand. If you managed to survive this, no one would ever believe you.

.

.

The wrecked ship called to you like, well, did you even have to say it.

(It felt like a low hanging pun at this point. You’d never be able to use the expression again for as long as you lived without thinking of narrowed, purple eyes nearly rolling up into the back of a too pretty head because you were apparently that annoying.)

Every day when you ventured towards the western side of the islet to feed your teeny, round octopus friend, you couldn’t help but sit and stare at the shattered hull. It’s not like it was in any sort of shape to actually get you off your little, sandy prison, but it was… There was something about it that was familiar enough to scratch an itch in your brain, but just alien enough that figuring out what was itching was outright impossible.

Silver songbirds.

‘Not safe,’ the Siren had demanded, with an almost frantic look to him. Not safe.

Every time you tried to venture closer to get a better look, it was like he could feel it. And he’d be pacing the shoreline like a blood-frenzied shark—rattling off muted, angry complaints the whole time that popped against your skin like soda fizz. So, lesson learned. Keep away.  

It was a particularly sweltering afternoon today. Not a cloud in the bright, blue sky and nary a breeze to be seen. Sweat was beading unpleasantly along your brow and all down your back, and you hated it. At least on the Rose Queen there had been shade. And the lower decks of the ship submerged in the waves had always felt at least a little chilled. You could practically feel the damp, cool wood against your cheek. The smell of salt and pine oils in your nose. But here, on this stupid not-island with its barren trees and nothings, you just had to suffer in silence. The memories of your ship had you thinking of the washed up Songbird all over again, and you were in the middle of a heated, internal debate over making a swim for it again when something cold rained down over your face in small, scattered droplets.

You blinked back into focus to see Mister Merman at your ankles. You’d been sitting with your heels in the water, but no deeper. Because the shallows were still his territory, and while he hadn’t tried to hold you under in a while now, it was hard to forget something like that so easily. You didn’t really want to chance it if a foul mood struck him, no matter what sort of fragile truce seemed to exist between the pair of you lately.

Last you’d looked he’d been sunning himself on one of the wide, flat rocks—as he was wont to do. Lavender-tipped hair splayed out along his cheeks in a pool of soft gold and fins spread at his hips like the finest, plum silks. How he never seemed to burn with that delicate, ivory skin of his you had no idea. Maybe it was a Magical, Mystical, Merman perk yet undocumented. Or maybe he was just Like That. But he’d been snoozing away on his favorite boulder, and now he had rolled in with the tide to lounge by your toes. His fingers were spread, still dripping with sea water from where he’d flicked you in the face. You frowned at him—partly curious, but also pissilly blinking salt out of your eyes that stung, because come on dude.

He flicked more water your way and said something that you couldn’t manage to catch the shape of. When you didn’t respond with anything other than a pointed scrub of the water dripping down your cheeks, he reached out to wrap a clawed hand around your ankle and give a gentle tug.

“What?” you frowned, confused, and he tugged again.

He canted his head towards you, and then out to the cove behind him. He slipped back with the soft, frothy roll of the waves—just a foot or two—and clearly meant to pull you with him. You slid against the sandbar with a yelp and dug your heels into the muck to keep from getting yanked all the way in.

“No way,” you snipped, kicking a mess of water into his face. He didn’t even blink, just frowned down at you with a twisty sort of petulance. “I thought we were over this. If you drown me you won’t get any more cooked food, y’know. And I, in turn, would very much like to not be drowned. Win, win.”

That frown of his went stiff, and his lips twitched down at the corners. His amethyst eyes darted away and for a moment you swore that those gemstone irises flashed with something almost like guilt. He rolled forward with the next curl of surf and pressed a claw into the damp, dark sand at your hip. He scratched out a careful message, stubbornly refusing to meet your gaze all the while.

Won’t, it said.

“Forgive me for not believing that,” you returned, dry. “You’re oh-for-two now, I think. And, you know, fool me twice, and all that.” Though maybe the first one didn’t really count, seeing how you were both tangled together and sinking to the bottom in a mutual sort of destruction. But whatever. You were keeping it.

The Siren’s brow pinched in the middle and he reached forward to dig his claws in again.

Accident.

Your own brows jumped nearly to your hairline. You were just about to politely point out that dragging someone to the bottom of the ocean until they were bubbling from the nose and flailing wasn’t really an accident,but then you remembered the startled look on his face. The way he hadn’t stopped you from clawing your way back to the surface and how he’d carefully helped tow you back towards the shore after. And… maybe he hadn’t really meant it. It had to be strange, probably. Being able to thrive so easily below the waves and then be faced with someone who would die if they were left facedown in a puddle.  

“…Fine,” you huffed, and his eyes jumped back up to yours with all cat-in-the-cream smugness. “But just because I’m about to drop from heatstroke. Not because you asked.”

The Siren rolled his eyes at you and returned to dragging you by your ankles into the shallows.

The bay really was very lovely. It was crystalline clear and the sort of brilliant blue that you’d never even known existed until you’d left the land for a life on the open ocean. The sand below your feet was soft and white, with barely any pebbles or broken bits of shell to dig into your toes. You watched a few crabs scurry out of the way as you were led deeper and deeper, but most of the cove’s occupants were spoiled and slow. Unbothered by this weird, fleshy, bipedal creature stepping past because they’d never known anything else. Once you hit waist-deep, the Siren let go of you to sink more fully into the water. He swam around you in a languid, looping circle—plum fins cresting the surface to flick water against your arms and scales shining like polished glass in the sunlight. It was still far too shallow for him to move around in earnest with how massive that tail of his was, and how wide and trailing his great, beta-like fins were, but he was still elegant. Still fast and flexible as he swam rings around you like an orbit.

“Show off,” you scoffed, but couldn’t quite bite back the grin twitching at your lips.

Because creature from the deep trying to devour your crew or not, Sirens really were so impressive, weren’t they? Straight out of a storybook, and deserving of every song and tale attributed to them.

You reached out before you could help yourself to run your fingers along his tail. The scales were smooth, and sleek, and cool against your palm. The wispy ends of his fins caught along your fingers, but other than a bit of a tangle, you almost managed to run your hand along the whole of it. And what was it? Eight feet? Ten? Bigger than you at least, that was for sure. It wasn’t like anything you’d ever felt. No fish, or whale hide, or shark. Something entirely of its own.

You realized on the next loop when your fingers danced over a patch of still healing scales that you’d felt already that he had most definitely realized your err in personal space, and was letting you poke about on purpose. You glanced up, embarrassed and warm faced, to see the tail end of a smirk quirking out from the water’s surface. Preening bastard.

You turned up your nose and waded deeper. There was a ripple in the water around you, like a chuckle, and he returned to his looping circles. Occasionally his tail would brush up against you to get you to jump, but otherwise he kept his hands to himself and—as promised—did not attempt to wrestle you down to the sandy floor and your subsequent watery grave.

Once you’d made it up to your chest, the Siren was able to start his dance in earnest. He darted away to make a wide arc around the edge of the cove—sunshine catching on his scales like a glare on the water. He shot from one end to the other, so fast it was nearly dizzying to try and keep up with. And then he was back to circling your ankles all over again—tangling your legs in his fins and curling his talons against your calves to try and drag you deeper.

“Okay, okay,” you laughed, paddling after him until you were well and truly above your head. The bay wasn’t very deep, but there were a few areas that dipped down to at least fifteen feet. So soon enough you were bobbing like a top in the gentle surf as he looped around your idly kicking feet—brushing up along your ankles and tugging at the frayed edge of your shirt with his claws when he passed by.

When he next rose above the surface, you’d already taken in a big mouthful of water in preparation, and shot it right into his face. The Siren’s whole expression shriveled up like a hundred-year-old prune and you laughed so hard he had to curl his tail around your waist to keep you from dipping under the waves and choking yourself. You let him drag you around and only grabbed at his fins a little. He would dive below your feet and you’d sink after him. Not nearly as agile or adept, but competent enough to follow his little game of tag without losing completely within the first few seconds. It was—it was nice. Genuinely. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d swam for the fun of it. Way back when you’d first joined up with Riddle’s crew, maybe. It’d been a hot day, just like this one, and you’d been anchored in a safe, shallow inlet off the coast of an archipelago. Deuce and Ace had jumped in first, already brawling, and you’d dove in soon after. It’d been a mess, and Riddle had nearly hung the three of you up by your toes for it. But it’d been fun. Familial. Warm. Something you’d never forget. And while this moment didn’t feel entirely like that one had, there was something similar about it. Sure, you weren’t trying to give the Siren a bloody nose and there were no rock wars, but it was… well, it was nice.

By the end of it, he was swimming lazy, looping shapes around the cove, and you were being dragged alongside him like a raft—kept afloat by the curling press of his tail and relaxing in the afternoon sunshine with the cool ripples of the ocean water to keep you both comfortable in the heat.

“Do you do this a lot?” you asked, as you relaxed in the gentle lull of the surf. “With your pod, I mean.”

The Siren stiffened beneath you, but after a moment he nodded. Slow and rigid. Which—

Oh. Right.

“…sorry,” you mumbled, gaze darting away.

Because he was missing his family just as much as you were missing yours, wasn’t he?

All that frantic pacing at the start of your mutual stranding had just seemed to… fade away as the days passed. He would still circle the entrance of the cove some mornings, singing towards the skies and tilting his head—fins pricked as he searched for an answer. You’d feel it in your nerves, see the gulls overhead dipping in a trance and watch the crabs crawl up onto the sand like they were being dragged out by their little claws. But most of the time now he just… didn’t. He spent his days mumbling over the letters you showed him, or carefully preening over his healing fins and resting in the sun. Catching fish for you to prepare and roast, and taking his meals at your side as you both snipped at each other with sandy curse words. It was pleasant, this routine you’d fallen into together. But all the same, he never really stopped checking the ocean waters. And you could see a spark in his eyes, an itch. The same one that lit yours, no doubt, every time you caught yourself squinting for the outline of ships on the horizon.

The difference between the two of you, of course, was that in a few more days his scales would be healed enough to face the dangers of the open water alone. Life as a rogue mer was notoriously perilous. The lone Sirens were those that poachers were willing to risk battle with for a trophy. They were the ones caught in fishing nets, and found mauled by rival pods. But your Siren was smart. He was big, and strong, and impressive. He’d find a way to survive it, no doubt. One morning you’d wake up and he’d have darted off into the deep to search for his family. To go home. And you…

You would still be trapped here.

Alone.

Forever.

Rotting under the sun with no one to take you swimming in the afternoons. Or bring you clawed up fish to cook for dinner. Or to use your writing lessons just to insult you with scribbled words in the muck.

Which—that was what you’d wanted, wasn’t it? At the start of all of this.

And it was only fair, in the end. He was the better of the two of you, after all. Born and bred to thrive in the depths of the sea that would swallow you whole without a thought. And if either of you was going to survive, to find your home again, it was always going to be him. Maybe you’d be a story, like he would have been for you. The strange human with no ears, just like the rest of the pirates whispered about. Who taught him that fire could make fish extra tasty and that leaves could make perfectly serviceable plates if you tried hard enough.

You sighed, and bubbles of salt water frothed along your mouth.

The Siren raised his head from his own lazy sprawl to arch a brow at you in question, and you did the very mature thing of spitting water in his face all over again.

You ended up being dragged through the cove in a flurry of spitting, Siren rage. Laughing and laughing until he huffed and hauled you back to shore to keep you from swallowing any more seawater like the idiot that you were. And it was fine, really it was. He wasn’t so bad, not really. And if he was able to reunite with his pod once more after all those days of hollow wailing and pacing, pacing, pacing that had made something deep in your soul itch like a freshly scabbed wound that you just couldn’t stop picking, well, that wouldn’t be such a bad ending after all.

.

.

The next afternoon while you were out on your daily Octopus Wellness Check, you came across a piece of pale, purple sea glass mixed into the rocky shore. It was smooth to the touch and frosted over by the endless tumble of the tide. You held it up to the light and it sparkled just like the Siren’s scales.

“What do you think?” you asked the octopus as it grabbed shredded bits of fish with its chubby, little tentacles. “Do you want it? Or should I give it to—”

You blinked, startled, and realized all at once that you’d never learned the Siren’s name. Or given him yours. You’d just sort of been calling each other a variety of derogatory pseudonyms and hoping for the best. Which, huh. You hadn’t even realized you’d wanted to know his name. It wasn’t yours to take, of course. Let alone from someone who would no doubt be leaving so soon. But it was a thought.

“You always give the best advice, you know,” you told the teeny creature, and it hid from you like you were a great, looming monster of old. “Whether you meant to or not. Thanks for that.”

So on the way back to your cove, you picked through some tufts of beachgrass to find the longest, driest spikes. You began winding them together as you walked, and settled down in your favorite little corner of the inlet to continue your weaving. The Siren, naturally—being as nosy as he was—was immediately hovering over you like a child watching someone hold a bag of sweets just out of reach. You clutched your little project to your chest like a secret, and it had him puffing up in irritation and smacking his fins against your sides like your refusal to share whatever had caught your attention was a crime beyond comparison. He arched up as tall as he could to try and peer over your shoulder, and, in failing at that, just outright tried to snatch the thing from your hands.

“I won’t give it to you if you keep being a pest,” you warned, and immediately he was slipping back to rest on his stomach in the damp sand with a starbright curiosity in his eyes, chin pillowed atop his interlaced fingers and gaze following the movements of your hands like a cat tracking a mouse in its hole. Clearly the promise of it being a treat for him was mollification enough to keep him from hovering.

Once you’d braided a sturdy enough chain, you carefully twined it around the sea glass in a little, crisscrossing cage of fibers. Just knotted enough to keep the ocean-worn trinket safe and in place without hiding the shine of it. With that, you held up your trophy with a dramatic wave, and the Siren was popping up all over again. His amethyst glare tracked the swinging pendant with startling focus and a surprisingly wide-eyed spark of confusion.

“Here,” you said, reaching out to drop the makeshift necklace into his lap. He caught it in his claws, eyes still far too round with shock. “It made me think of your scales. I thought you might like it.”

He was staring down at the gift in utter silence. And not the normal sort of quiet either—where your broken eardrums simply refused to pick up on all his petulant grousing against your person. This was actual silence. His lips were parted like they were caught on a breath, but he wasn’t saying anything. Not even a complaint about how plain and ugly it was. He curled his claws daintily around the woven chain, as if he was afraid of tearing right through it with an accidental prick, and then held the sparkling bauble aloft like he was utterly entranced by the soft gleam of it.

After a long, long moment of that near eerie silence and a pool of dread filling your belly that screamed you’d clearly fucked up in some way (overstepped some weird, Siren tradition. Accidentally insulted his father. Handed him a bad luck omen on a string. Something), the Siren was twisting around to show you the back of his neck. He held up the woven chain so it draped along his shoulder blades, and he pointedly shook the ends at you.

When you just gaped back in shock, he turned to sneer over his shoulder at you and jabbed a claw at his throat, then the necklace, then you, then his throat again. Which, oh. Oh! That—that you could do.

So you reached out to pluck the ends of the grass-woven thread from his talons and he immediately shifted around again to make himself comfortable. Curling his tail firmly against the sand with his plum-lined fins spread out in all their glory like a spill of purple ink along the shoreline. He set his shoulders square and firm, and looked straight ahead with that same, queer sort of focus to him as before.

You tied the ends of the necklace in a bow against his nape, making sure it was securely fastened in place and not snagging any of the softer, shorter hairs at the back of his neck. Once it’d been fussed with to his liking, he turned back around and stared you down until you could feel goosebumps prickling up all along your spine. You wanted to meekly tell him that it was just sea glass. Just a little trinket you’d found in the sand that you’d thought was pretty enough that he might like to have it. But the words died on your tongue. They felt wrong somehow. And you’d put your foot in your mouth plenty of times throughout your life, but this definitely felt like it would have been the biggest boot of all.

“…You like it?” you tried instead, because that sentiment at least seemed less like something that was ready to clog up your throat.

The Siren nodded, firm, his eyes still drilling into yours with that unnerving level of focus.

You coughed into your fist and awkwardly attempted to shift away to give yourself a bit of room, and—Huh. When had his tail come up to wrap around your leg? That made running away a bit inconvenient. You’d just have to try and wriggle your way out and hope he would take mercy on your far inferior musculature, and—

There was a poke at your hip. Tap, tap, tap. One, two, three. And you glanced back up at him with a pinched frown, confused.

The Siren pointed to a scrawl in the sand. Tap, tap, tap.

Acceptable.

You gawked, and then swallowed a laugh so fast it nearly choked you. Because he was still himself, wasn’t he? No matter what. Sassy, asshole fish. Gods, you were going to miss him.

You wiped at the bubbling, giggling tears prickling at the corner of your eyes and reached out to pat at his tail in good humor.

“I hope you find your happy ending,” you beamed, and meant it.

The Siren just looked at you with one of his familiar, lemon-sour puckers. He pointedly reached up to flick at the necklace around his throat, like that had anything to do with him finding his family again at all. Like it wasn’t just some silly trinket you’d gifted him in hopes that maybe one day he could look back fondly on the little human that he’d found himself stranded with. To not just forget you outright. To make your fleeting presence in his life something tangible, rather than just a mess of already fading scars and memories that would too easily be swept away in the depths of the sea.

“At least it’s acceptable,” you said finally around your giggling, and he huffed at you in a way that almost looked fond. You stood from the sand and brushed the mess of grit and salt off your pant legs. “Come on. Let’s go have dinner and I’ll teach you some nicer words tonight. So you can give me a real compliment next time.”

There was spray of water all along your back from where he’d no doubt dove back into the shallows behind you and walloped you with his fins to the best of his ability. And honestly, you couldn’t find it in yourself to be bothered by it at all.

.

.

[TAG LIST - CLOSED]

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[littlefankingdom]

I saw another post criticizing Bruce for having children fighting at his side, and I must say: tell me you don't know shit about the batkids' stories without telling me. Bruce fucking tried to stop those kids from being vigilantes, but they keep doing it behind his back, so he decided the best thing to do was to give them the proper training, an armor and to have them stick at his side so he can watch over them. You know, like a parent telling their underage children that they can drink alcohol but only at home where they can watch over them.

Dick became Robin because he wanted revenge over his parents' murder. He would run out in the street of Gotham as a 8 years old, all alone, to go fight Zucco. Bruce helping him make Robin was the compromise to keep Dick safe, because the child would not listen. (And yes, it wasn't the case in the very first canon, but it was like the 40s. Do you know how many kids fought against the Nazis in Europe at that time???)

Barbara Gordon is not his daughter and he has no authority on her being a vigilante. He cannot even ground her.

Jason became Robin after helping Bruce take down Ma Gunn's school. It is implied by Bruce, while talking to Dick, that he offered Robin to Jason as a way to gain a child because he missed having Dick around. He didn't need a Robin, he just missed having a kid. Bruce used the Robin mantle with Jason like people use churu to appease stray kitten. AND JASON'S DEATH, let's talk about it. Jason ran away, which leads to him being killed, after eavesdropping on Bruce and Alfred talking about Jason's mental health. Jason is benched as Robin, but not because Bruce thinks he killed someone like fandom says, but because Bruce knows it is not helping or healthy for Jason. They are talking about getting him help for his traumas and how violence is not helping Jason. And, when he is older and has healed, they can try again if he wants to. That's why Jason or people saying that Jason died because he was a soldier, or blaming Bruce for Robin's existence is false. When Jason died, Bruce was against Jason being Robin for his own health! And Jason knows that, he heard the discussion, he wasn't bench like how so many of his siblings are, with little to no honest explanation. Jason died in the Robin's costume because of his own stubbornness, not because of Bruce. (And that's not blaming Jason for his death. He is not to blame, but neither is Bruce. It's just about the Robin's colors. Jason would not have been wearing them at the time if he listened to Bruce.)

Tim Drake imposed himself as Robin. Bruce was against it, Tim literally went "Don't care, didn't ask". And Tim was already following them around before. Bruce already have Jason blaming him for making Tim Robin when he had no control over that.

Stephanie Brown became a vigilante before Batman knew her. He has tried SO MANY TIMES to make her stop, and so many fans hate that he did it. Make a choice, is it bad that he didn’t stop her more or that he didn’t let her more be a vigilante? He even got his kids to try to make her stop. AND SHE IS "KILLED" TO TEACH HIM THAT MAKING KIDS VIGILANTES IS BAD WHEN HE IS NOT RESPONSIBLE OF HER BECOMING ONE AND TRIED TO STOP HER! No shit the man blames himself for things that are not his fault, everyone does it.

Cassandra Cain was 17 when she becomes Batgirl, so I don't know if she counts. But when Bruce tries to make her stop for her own health, with the support of Barbara and Alfred, Cass is devastated and doesn't obey him. She puts on her costume and fights him physically.

Damian Wayne was trained as an assassin. In every version of him being introduced to Bruce, Bruce is against making him Robin and Damian keeps sneaking out. Damian wants to prove himself to his father so bad and refused to be kept away from the fight. In the comics, it's Dick, DICK, that makes him Robin when Bruce is gone, because Bruce was against letting Damian out at night.

Conclusion: Bruce is a tired father of a bunch of kids that cannot understand they should stay home at night and not be vigilantes.

[mccromy]

Hua Cheng and Quan Yizhen get hit by a de-aging curse that turns them into their 10 year old selves. Naturally, Xie Lian and Yin Yu take care of them while investigating how to reverse it. Unfortunately, Hong-er and Quan Yizhen take to the other like two stray cats forcefully shoved inside a small cage, hissing and spitting and yowling and growling and beating the shit out of the other on sight. Yin Yu looks away for one second and suddenly Yizhen is pouncing on Hong-er, punching the daylights out of him. Hong-er rips a chunk of hair out of Yizhen, both get bitten, blood gets spilled. Yin Yu is panicking while he drags a screaming Quan Yizhen away. Xie Lian is this close 🤏🏻 to throwing Quan Yizhen into He Xuan's lair.

They don't know what to do. Hong-er poured ink down Quan Yizhen's back, Quan Yizhen threw a live mouse at Hong-er's face, Hong-er locked Quan Yizhen inside a chest and, in retaliation, Quan Yizhen pissed all over Hong-er's Dianxia portraits. Hong-er had a meltdown in Xie Lian's arms and Yin Yu had a panic attack, which in turn made Quan Yizhen hide for eight hours of desperate search until Yin Yu thought to look under his own bed (he was there.)

"Why do you fight Quan Yizhen?" Asks Xie Lian, and Hong-er answers that Quan Yizhen started it.

Yin Yu asks Quan Yizhen why did he attack Hong-er, and Yizhen frowns and answers: "I don't like him" and refuses to elaborate.

They are so sweet otherwise. Hong-er brings every flower he finds to Xie Lian, hands anxiously twisting the hem of his clothes every time as if this time Dianxia won't like them. One time while cooking, Xie Lian glanced back and caught Hong-er praying to him and felt himself melt on the spot. Quan Yizhen tries to help Yin Yu with everything (and fails spectacularly), asking every two seconds if he did good, and smiling and wiggling every time Yin Yu tells him that yes, that was perfect Yizhen.

After a week of incidents, crying, screaming, broken vases and sleepless nights. Xie Lian, tired and desperate, brings them together to end this misery once and for all. He asks Quan Yizhen directly, and the boy doesn't answer, he asks again with a softer tone. Quan Yizhen frowns and kicks him on the shin, hard enough to make him stagger. Xie Lian is very impressed by that and doesn't see Hong-er in time to catch him before he attacks Quan Yizhen, clawing his face and screaming. Yizhen kicks and bites, thankfully forgetting all his martial training as they grapple on the floor. And while Xie Lian and Ruoye do their best to subdue them, Yin Yu stares at them as an horrible epiphany wacks him on the back of his head.

"Your highness," Yin Yu whispers, "that night, before Chengzu saw you, he panicked and tried to run away, so I picked him up... And he kicked me."

Xie Lian doesn't know whether to laugh or cry . "I take it Qi Ying saw it?"

Yin Yu nods miserably.

The next morning, Xie Lian coaxes Hong-er into apologizing to Yin Yu for kicking him, and Xie Lian explains Quan Yizhen Hong-er didn't mean it, he was just scared. Yin Yu, for his part, spent all night teaching Quan Yizhen a very long "I am sorry, your highness" speech, and makes him kowtow three times. Then he proceeds to do the same, both effectively groveling.

Xie Lian grimaces and interrupts the boy as he recites with a blank face and the enthusiasm of someone who's only doing this because his Shixiong asked.

"That's really too much..., there is no need,"

"I beg to differ, Your Highness," answers Yin Yu, still kneeling on the ground. He raises his head and glances at Hong-er.

Xie Lian really can't say anything to that.

Yin Yu nudges Yizhen, and the boy pulls out a golden bar from his sleeve and places it at Xie Lian's feet. "This Quan Yizhen uh.... Um... This Yizhen will... ah! This Yizhen swears to spend the rest of his days atoning for...! For his...?"

"Transgressions," whispers Yin Yu.

"Transgressions! And swears to keep others from laying their filth on His Highness' path, as this one once did. His Highness whims shall become this one's deeds. In penance, I place the West at your feet, Qi Ying's palace is at your service. And if this one's repentance cannot erase this one's grievous sins... Uhm... Give me a moment, I have a lot of rocks in here." Qua Yizhen rummages through his sleeve for a few seconds, and then triumphantly pulls out a dark box. "Found it! Um.. something something sins! In your hands I place the Waning Moon Officer's ashes-!"

"Yin Yu that's really not necessary!"

"It really is, your Highness," he says with a strained voice.

Quan Yizhen leaves the box on the floor, completely unaware of it's importance, and throws himself into Yin Yu's lap. "I did good, right? I only forgot one thing! Shixiong, Shixiong it came out right?"

Yin Yu sighs.

"Yes, Yizhen. You did well."

"That guy interrupted me in the end though, that was rude. Can we go?"

Yin Yu didn't know whether to laugh or cry or grab his shidi and find new employment under He Xuan.

Xie Lian shook his head, crouched and carefully took the box, placed it on Yin Yu's hands. He felt really fond of Yin Yu's earnestness, but truly, this was overkill (Yin Yu would beg to differ, and so would He Xuan if he was there, and so would Hua Cheng if he was 800 years older. As Hong-er though, he only agreed with his Highness because he didn't understand what the act meant. As it stood, he really wanted to push that other kid from a wall.)

Xie Lian waited until Yin Yu raised his head and said softly, yet firmly:

"Officer, I order you to guard this with utmost diligence. They belong to a dear friend of mine, who need not worry for his Shidi's wellbeing," Xie Lian smiled at Hong-er, who stopped glaring at the figures on the floor and smiled back. Not breaking eye contact with the boy, Xie Lian continued, enunciating each word clearly, "after all, said Shidi is also a dear friend, who always treated me with respect, and if something happened to him I'd be very, very sad."

Yin Yu stood up, holding Yizhen's hand in his and the box to his chest. He bowed, "This one apologizes for offending His Highness, this one knows his Highness to be kind and wise, and didn't mean to imply otherwise. This Waning Moon Officer shall do as his Highness commands,"

After that, the boys stop trying to kill the other on sight. And, after much coaxing and promises of candy and sparring sessions, they spend one peaceful hour interacting under the watchful gaze of the only people they cared about. The next day, they sat side to side. Quan Yizhen practicing kicks and Hong-er drawing, both tense in sullen silence. The day after that Quan Yizhen asks Hong-er to help him draw his Shixiong, and Hong-er accepts, both glance at the adults in the room for approval and smile giddily when they get it. The day after, Quan Yizhen teaches Hong-er how to throw a punch, and they mock fight until dinner time (which they eat separately,) . The day after that, the adults decide to leave them alone for exactly three minutes, they wait just outside the room, ear pressed to the door. At the minute mark, they hear the unfortunately familiar sound of two tiny boys doing their utmost best to brutally kill each other.

The day after that, the curse is broken.

Xie Lian takes Hua Cheng to Puqi shrine, desperate for some alone time with his husband. Though he misses Hong-er dearly, his husband's absence had been so painful that now he's drunk on giddy relief.

They work the fields, they make dinner together, and after they're done eating, Xie Lian asks what had been running through his mind.

"San Lang, you two were getting along so well, why did you start fighting again?"

Hua Cheng wrinkles his nose in a way that makes Xie Lian want to kiss him and says, "He didn't want to admit that Gege was better than Shixiong— I mean, Yin Yu. Ah Gege, don't make fun of your San Lang!" He whined.

Xie Lian did try to stop laughing, but not hard enough to accomplish it.

Once done, he wiped a tear and asked:

"Shixiong?"

Hua Cheng groaned.

"I didn't know what his name was! That animal kept talking about his Shixiong. Shixiong this, Shixiong that! so it stuck inside my head! I wanted to talk about his Highness this and that, but the little shit kept interrupting me!"

"Ahaha—"

There was a loud crash outside. Xie Lian jumped out of his seat, Hua Cheng's hand hovered above E-ming. Abruptly, The Martial God of the West barged into Puqi shrine.

Xie Lian relaxed and smiled, a greeting dying on his tongue as he was faced with a fulminanting glare coming from Quan Yizhen's usually stoic face.

Xie Lian sat back again, placed his hands on his knees and waited for the other god to speak.

Quan Yizhen huffed and bowed. Then, he slammed a gold bar on the table with such force the wood cracked. "You can't have him," He said, bowed again, and left.

Xie Lian was stumped. Silence reigned until Hua Cheng broke it by cackling. Wheezing, he fell off his chair.

"San Lang...? Do you know what that was about?"

Hua Cheng exhaled and smiled at his beloved. "Gege is so popular. I didn't know I had so much competition. Won't he tell me how many other ghosts have offered their ashes to him? Do I need to make Black Water a puddle for him to sleep in? Yin Yu may keep his room, but ah, Gege rejected my poor Waning Moon Officer, didn't he? How cruel, how sought after my God is."

Blood rushing to his cheeks, Xie Lian groaned and hid his face in his hands.

A moment later, Yin Yu's bashful voice spoke inside his head.

"I really didn't mean it like that, your Highness,"

Xie Lian made an embarrassed sound.

At least, he felt closer to laughing than to crying.

"I know."

"I apologize,"

"It's alright,"

"...May his Highness please ask Chengzu to stop calling me a homewrecker through my spiritual array?"

...

"Ah. I'm sorry, yes, of course."

[shanastoryteller]

Happy birthday!! Harry Potter or Percy Jackson please!!

a continuation of 1 2 3

There's something off about Percy.

Actually, Thalia should rephrase - there are several things extremely off about Percy. It's not worth repeating, and barely worth saying, because they're all just that obvious.

They're sitting around a fire in the middle of the woods, Luke cooking the several fish that Percy had managed to spear onto his sword, which was ridiculous for an entirely different set of reasons.

"Are you a god?" she asks suspiciously.

He makes a choking sound that she thinks might be a laugh and he gives her a grin that she refuses to be charmed by. Luke is doing that enough for all of them. "Oddly, not the first time I've been asked that, but I'm just as much a demigod as you are. My mother's mortal."

"Present tense," Annabeth says, her little face screwed up into a scowl. "She's not dead, then. Is she mean?"

"Annabeth," she and Luke say at the same time. One day they're going to teach this girl tact.

Percy shakes his head, leaning back on his hands, completely unphased by Annabeth's directness. That's a point in his favor. But only a very little one. "Nah, she's great. Best mom there is. But she's mortal, and I'm," he gestures to himself.

A demigod as powerful as Percy must attract a lot of monsters, ones that he can apparently deal with, but would be deadly to his mother. Thalia feels a twinge of sympathy. It's one thing to have the messed up family dynamics that she, Luke, and Annabeth do, and it's another to have a mother that he loves and cares for and who he can't be around with endangering her life. "How long have you been on your own?"

His gaze goes distant and maybe she could learn some tact herself, but she thought it was a simple question, just factual and not personal. "I haven't lived with my mom full time since I was twelve, but I wasn't exactly on my own."

"Camp," Luke says, a hardness to his gaze.

Percy's lips twitch. "Chiron doesn't know who I am. But almost everyone who trained me did come from Camp Half-Blood."

"Including who taught you how to use a sword?" Luke asks. Thalia knows he takes pride in his swordsmanship, and she also knows that Percy is better than he is. Part of inviting him along was probably to get Percy to teach him, which Thalia can stomach a bit better than Luke getting distracted by a pretty face.

Percy goes quiet again, gazing at Luke with an expression that makes Thalia shift closer to Annabeth. "Yeah. They were from camp too."

[stylesloveclub]

sunshine (making out blurb)

first blurb for grumpyrry x sunshine virgin y/n!!!

sunshine masterlist

+++

Y/n’s math homework is always a little less horrible when she’s doing it with Harry.

When it’s just her doing calculus by herself, it’s miserable. She gets stressed out as soon as she gets a problem wrong, overwhelmed by all the weird symbols and shortcuts that she doesn’t know. Calculus is just so stupidly hard! She usually has to spend an hour just reading the textbook and finding videos to help her understand whatever they just learned in class… until she eventually gives up and goes to bed. 

It’s different with Harry though. There’s something about the way he explains things to her that just makes it make sense. She’s told him time and time again that he should be the one up there teaching the class instead of her stupid professor. He makes math easy. A big part of it might be because he’s right there to catch her mistakes and answer her questions if she gets stuck, but also he’s just a really good teacher. He breaks concepts down for her in a way that isn’t all complicated and math-y, but like a fun little puzzle. And if she doesn’t get it, he’ll do the problem right in front of her, explaining every step and pausing to make sure she gets it. He’s patient and motivating, and pushes her to solve problems by herself, even if she’s scared that she’ll do it wrong. 

Plus, he gives her a nice little kiss as a reward every time she solves a question right, so you best believe she’s not giving up until she gets every damn question in that textbook right! 

“Good job sunshine,” he murmurs, pressing a soft kiss to her cheek. 

They’re sitting thigh to thigh on her bed, y/n’s ipad in her lap and her textbook right in front of her criss-crossed legs. She’s in a cutsie little pajama set, matching white pj shorts and a tiny tank top with little roses printed all over it. Harry sits with his legs spread out in front of him, with one of his hands gently resting on her back as he leans over her shoulder and checks her work. She smiles cutely, the apples of her cheeks rounding out as Harry’s pink lips pucker against her cheek as a reward. Not only does she feel proud of herself for getting the math right, but she also feels her heart do a backflip every time Harry gives her a kiss. Who knew doing her math homework could be so fun! 

She flips her pencil around in her fingers, turning her head to the side so she can get a proper reward. Kisses on the cheek are good motivation for when she’s struggling and she needs a little something to keep her going through a hard problem… but she got this one right. Her eyes meet his bright green ones, which are glimmering softly. He’s already smiling at her, his thumb tracing soft little circles on her back, and he doesn’t deny her when she leans in for a soft, sweet, and innocent kiss on the lips. In fact, when she tries to pull away from her soft little peck, he follows her forward, refusing to disconnect their lips until he gets a few more kisses in. 

It makes her giggle against his lips, pushing on his shoulders. “I only have one more,” she says, not wanting to get distracted when she’s so close to being done.

The dimple in his cheek deepens, and he stares at her softly. His eyes are so intense, as if he’s looking straight into her heart, as if he’s trying to see into the depth of her soul so he can really understand her. They flicker back and forth between hers, filled with just pure adoration. “If you get this last one right, I have a surprise for you,” he whispers mischievously.

Y/n’s eyes widen, a flash of excitement flickering over her irises. “What?” she asks eagerly, her hands landing on his thigh.

His lips twist in an impish smile, and he nods towards her homework. “Do it and you’ll see.”

She gets it right in one try, zero questions asked. It seems like kisses and little surprises are really all it takes to teach y/n math. She’s looking back at him with giddy eyes, basking as he gives her one last kiss for doing her homework correctly. “Go look in my bag,” he mumbles against her lips, one of his hands coming up to tuck her hair behind her ear. She pulls away from him, giving him a suspicious look with squinted eyes and pursed lips, but he just smiles and nods his chin towards his bag.

She gets up and cautiously approaches, peeking back at him nervously. All he does is smile, leaning back onto her pillows and putting his hands behind his back. She unzips his bag, and inside of it… 

“Oh,” y/n’s eyes round out as soon as she sees it. “Harry,” she whimpers, turning around to face him with a pout. Inside of his bag is the cutest pink stuffed elephant, with a little elephant nose that makes y/n want to cry. The elephant has animated eyes and big floppy ears, and it’s soft and fuzzy and just makes her heart melt because it’s so her and it’s so Girl and her grumpy boyfriend just knows her so well!!! She picks up the elephant and runs over to her bed with it and she gets extra excited when she sees how perfectly her new friend fits in with the rest of her pink stuffies and pillows. She climbs straight on top of Harry, putting the elephant next to her worn out stuffed bunny, and throws her arms around his shoulders. 

“Thank you, I love it, it’s so cute,” she babbles, burying her face in his neck. She’s almost getting emotional because there’s absolutely no occasion for him to be getting her gifts, her voice getting a little high pitched and wobbly. Harry smiles like it’s no big deal, his hand petting her hair softly as he chuckles softly. “What’s it for?” she asks, pulling away and looking at him with big round eyes.

He shrugs. “Saw it when I was out last night. Thought you would like it.” 

She stares at him with that endearing little pout, not knowing what to do except to lean in and kiss him. She puts her hands on his face, her fingers cupping his and his smiling cheeks pressed against her palms, and pulls him forward so she can press her lips against his. 

His lips struggle to kiss her back with how big he’s smiling, so in awe of her and how cute she is, but he manages to rest a hand on her hip and pucker his lips against hers. Her hands slide down to hold onto his shoulders, and her fingers twist in his shirt as their lips fold over each other. She loves kissing him, she really does. Whenever she flutters her eyes shut and presses her lips against his, all her worries melt away. Her shoulders relax and her mind goes blank. Harry brings up a hand to cup her jaw, and his thumb traces over her cheekbone softly, just feeling her delicate skin. 

They haven’t gone any further than these innocent kisses so far, except for that first time in his room, when he’d turned what should have been her romantic first kiss into an impromptu makeout sesh. He felt horrible when he found out that he’d tried to casually hook up with her when she hadn’t even had her first kiss! And absolutely sick to his stomach when he realized he’d been her first kiss, and that he had fucked it all up! 

A sweet little sunshine girl like her deserved to have the first kiss of her dreams, he mourned. At a moonlit picnic or in a garden of roses. And he’d given her the worst first kiss. He literally made her cry. 

Since then, there have been plenty of better, sweeter, more romantic kisses, to make up for that teensy little blip of a first kiss – kisses on her front doorstep after the most magical first date, kisses at the park underneath the cherry blossom trees, goodnight kisses in her bed before he tucks her in and heads home for the night. But nothing more than that.

Tonight though… he’s tempted to try a little something more. 

He kisses her lips one final time before pulling away with a soft click, his hand still gently cupping her jaw. His eyes slowly open, and he finds his sunshine already looking right back at him, her eyes wide and moony. Her lips are parted, so soft and delicate and kissable, and she blinks innocently. She’s so cute, so reactive and eager. She’s staring at him like he just gave her the world with that little kiss. 

His fingers trace down from her cheek to her lips, and then to her jawline. With the softest nudge he tilts her head to the side, then brushes her hair off to the side to expose her neck. When his lips skim the sensitive skin right above her pulse point, her breath catches in her throat. Her grip on his shirt tightens, and her thighs tense from where she’s sitting atop him, straddling his hips. 

His lips press against her neck so softly, the most delicate kiss he’s ever pressed against her skin. His eyes flutter shut and he just lingers there, inhaling deeply. She smells like vanilla and sugar cookies. She makes his heart pound and his head spin. His hand on her hip holds on tighter, his fingers dimpling her soft skin as he starts to press more kisses up her neck and around her jawline. 

Y/n’s eyes flutter shut and she tries to regulate her breathing, but her breaths are short and shaky and she can’t think straight. Harry’s breathing sends shivers down her spine, tickling her ear every time he exhales. His cotton candy lips tickle her throat and press down in hot, slow, gentle kisses. She swallows thickly and tries to hold down all the noises that want to escape her, but somehow a breathy moan leaves her lips. She feels herself grow hot and she’s not sure if it’s embarrassment at how weak she sounds, or if she’s just getting all hot from how Harry’s tongue just darted out to lightly tease her neck. 

Harry smiles to himself lightly, deciding to test the waters and suck a little bit at her neck. He forgets, sometimes, just how innocent and inexperienced his angel of a girlfriend is. She gets worked up easily and is so responsive to his touch. Even the lightest of kisses against her throat have her whimpering and floating in another world. He loves it. He can sense how antsy she’s getting now, how she’s shuffling around on his lap and fisting at his shirt. She hopes he can’t tell how sweaty her palms have gotten, and she’d actually die if she knew that he could feel her clenching around nothing through her tiny sleep shorts.

He doesn’t spend too much time on her neck, not wanting to leave any marks without her permission, instead sliding his fingers into her hair and tilting her head down again so it’s no longer thrown back. She lets him maneuver her easily, opening her eyes, her chest rising and falling heavily. Her eyebrows pinch together as she briefly looks down at his lips, longingly. She tries to get ahold of herself, but just a few seconds of him loving on her neck have sent her into a spiral. She’s so sensitive, so reactive – she jumps when his hand migrates to her thigh, goosebumps rising as he rubs up and down her bare leg. 

Harry’s eyes are warm and fond as he just stares at her– her pretty eyes and her delicate eyelashes, her lips, her cheeks, her smile. He tries not to linger too much on how cute she looks in her pajamas, how the low neckline accentuates her neck and her collarbones or how the thin material fails to conceal her peaked nipples. If he thinks about it too hard, he’ll get hard. And he doesn’t want that yet, doesn’t want to overwhelm his sweet, pure, innocent sunshine with his horny thoughts. 

He kisses her again as a distraction, slotting their lips together, and it’s sweet and simple and calming. Kissing her is comforting, her lips a safe haven. She could be an angel, for all he knows, with a halo and wings and everything.

“Sunshine,” he murmurs between kisses, “do something for me?”

“Hm?” she hums, hazy and half-paying attention. She stutters a bit when Harry’s tongue flicks at her bottom lip, and then at the seam of her lips. He gives a reassuring kiss.

“Open up f’me a bit.” His hand cups her jaw and he soothingly pets her face, as if coaxing her to part her lips. “Wanna– wanna taste you.”

She can’t help but pause, pulling back from the kiss for just a second to process what he’s said, but she’s nodding yes before any insecurity can fill her mind. “Okay,” she says softly, swallowing nervously. “Um–” she tries to ask this without embarrassing herself, “What do I do with my tongue?”

He continues pressing kisses to the corner of her mouth, “Jus’– um – lick against mine, sunshine.” He pulls away for just a second, eyes half-hooded and not at all fazed about having to explain this to her. “Dunno how to really explain it. You’ll get the hang of it, though.” 

She nods once more, insecurely, and flutters her eyes shut as Harry leans back in to continue kissing her. His fingers scratch deliciously against her scalp as he licks against her lips again – this time, she opens. His tongue dips in slowly, like soft honey, warm and wet. It’s unfamiliar, sure, but it doesn’t bother her. She tries to mimic the way his jaw falls slack, and how his tongue dips forward and back softly, opening up for him more and more as he continues to gently kiss her. He licks into her again, brushing his tongue against hers and she finds herself not even thinking as she brushes back. Her eyebrows pinch together and her nails start to dig into his back as she unconsciously leans closer to him. 

Their lips move against each other slowly, a sultry dance that’s all brand new to y/n… but god is it hot to have his tongue in her mouth. He’s warm and wet and playful, using his tongue to tease her lower lip while they kiss, flicking against her tongue flirtatiously. A whimper crawls up her throat, needy and desperate for more. He’s showing her things that she’s never experienced before, and all the pent up sexual desire she’s had is bubbling up in her tummy, begging to be released. 

She’s started to move her hips against him in soft rolls, grinding herself down as subtly as she can, and Harry’s hands on her hip seems to be encouraging her, gripping her tightly and pulling her closer and closer. Her arms unravel from around his shoulders and sneak their way down to the hem of his shirt, fingers finding the firm, warm skin of his abdomen. Her hands skim upwards to feel the lines of muscle that line his tummy, and she can’t believe that this green eyed adonis is literally her boyfriend. She lightly tugs on the shirt signaling that she wants it off, and starts whining while her hips move against his and Harry lets out a deep, low groan. 

He gently grabs her hands that are toying with the edge of his shirt and guides them back around his neck. “Not yet, baby,” he mumbles, giving a couple of soft, more tame pecks while his hand slows down her hips. He gives her one firm kiss to her lips to leave her breathless, then traces some more down her neck while she pants up towards the ceiling. Her throat bobs as she swallows thickly, and for the first time, her eyes are filled with lust, arousal, and need. Harry looks just as bad as her, his eyes dark, pupils blown out, lips pink and swollen. 

“Need t’take it slow,” he rasps, sounding more like he’s trying to convince himself rather than y/n. 

She takes a deep breath, and nods her head, understanding. He’s doing this for her, saving her firsts so that they can be comfortable and memorable and special special… but god, sometimes she wishes he would just rip her clothes off and stuff his cock inside of her the way Rhysand does in the book she’s reading right now. Virginity is overrated anyway, who cares how she loses it! (she does)

But she agrees nonetheless, rolling off of him with a heavy sigh and wiping her lips with the back of her hand. She feels sticky in between her thighs and her heart has not beat at a normal pace for the past ten minutes of kissing Harry. But, whatever. She picks up her new stuffed elephant, petting its floppy ears softly, and thankfully doesn’t notice the way Harry has to subtly adjust his plumped up cocked. 

She just flops down next to him, elephant in hand, kicking her feet in the air behind her, and asks, “What do you think we should name her?”

+++

It’s become a sort of routine for Harry and y/n to hang out after class on Friday nights. 

Monday and Wednesday nights, y/n is usually at the library studying, and on Tuesday/Thursdays, Harry has a math lecture from 6-7:20. Of course, Harry will oftentimes sit at the library with her, maybe do some homework (or usually take a nap) while she reads her biology textbook and takes color coded notes. And on the nights that Harry has his late night lectures, she’ll stay on campus a little later so that they could get dinner together before class. 

But Friday nights are when they really get to see each other. Sunshine is usually too burnt-out by the end of the week to even think about studying, and Harry is more than content to sit at his apartment and play video games while she reads a book in his bed.

It’s their favorite way to hang out after a long week. No loud parties, no stinky rooms, no distractions. Just them, together. 

Blake’s gone back to visit his hometown for the weekend, so Harry and y/n have his apartment all to themselves. That means that instead of hiding out in his room like usual, they’ve migrated out to his living room. Harry’s playing some video game on the TV, filled with blood and war and gory stuff, but he’s turned down the volume so that the gross sounds don’t bother sunshine while she’s reading. She’s got a big hardcover book in her hands (Happy Place by Emily Henry), a book that she’d gotten when they went to Barnes and Noble together last Friday. She’s only just had the chance to start it, though, since she had a big bio midterm earlier today. 

Harry sits shirtless on the couch, his eyebrows furrowed and jaw clenched in a serious way that looks insanely hot from where y/n is sitting. Her back is resting against the other arm of the couch, facing Harry with her feet up and crossed at the ankle, her pink fuzzy socks almost brushing against his elbows. He’s shirtless, only wearing a pair of gray sweats (!!!), and his arms just look so… big and yummy. She can see the small freckles and bumps on his tanned back as he hunches over his controller, and can’t tear her eyes away from the shadows of muscles along his back and shoulders. And his heart shaped lips… so pink and plump and kissable…

An amused smirk gradually spreads on Harry’s face, signature dimple denting his cheek as he feels y/n’s hungry eyes feasting on him from the other end of the couch. From the corner of his vision, he can see the way she’s chewing on the inside of her cheek, how her eyes are captivated by his bare torso with such fascination. 

He doesn’t think she even realizes how long she’s been staring at him.

He gives her a quick glance, eyes glimmering teasingly, and she realizes that she’s been embarrassingly caught. Quickly, she averts her eyes back down to her book, pretending like nothing happened.

Harry chuckles. “Whatcha starin’ at, sunshine?”

“Nothing,” she hums casually, despite her burning hot cheeks.

He pauses his game, putting the controller down onto the little coffee table next to him, and turns towards her. She refuses to meet his gaze this time, continuing to stare down at the page even though she’s processing about 0% of the words that she reads. No, her brain is exceedingly preoccupied with how her very attractive and very shirtless boyfriend is staring at her right now, with that teasing look in his eye. And that stupid, smug smirk. He’s like a snake about to attack a tiny little garden bunny. 

“Baby…” he goads, but she continues to pretend-read her book. Only when he lightly tickles her sock-covered foot does she pay any attention to him, yelping out and jolting her feet away. He snorts out a laugh as she folds both her feet underneath herself, clumsily protecting herself from Harry’s devilish fingers. It wouldn’t be hard for him to tackle her right now, hold her down on the couch while his fingers dig into her ribs and under her armpits until she's cry-laughing. He’s done it plenty of times before, and has found it to be the most effective way to get her attention… so she puts the book down obediently and looks up at him with a shy smile.

“Hi,” she says innocently, pretending like she hadn’t been ogling him for five minutes straight while he’d been playing his game. She just sits there with her hands in her lap, as if she’s an angel. 

He smiles knowingly. Her longing stares and hungry eyes are her silent indication that she wants a kiss. The type of kiss where he pulls her into his lap, licks into her mouth, and palms at her ass. A real, proper make out. 

She probably doesn’t know that she’s so obvious about it, he thinks – staring at his lips with puppy dog eyes and drooling over his bare chest. She’s trying to play it casual, but he can see the needy glimmer in her eyes. It seems like making out with her that first time in her bedroom opened the floodgates, unleashing something in y/n that had been so innocently contained by her angelic, virginal facade. Ever since then, she’s been giving him these eyes, begging for more. 

He shakes his head to himself, still smirking, before leaning forward to kiss her. This is exactly what she wants, and Harry knows it. Her longing stares and hungry eyes were just her silent way of asking for a kiss, since she’s a little too shy to ask for it straight up.

Their lips fold over each other, a slow kiss, gentle and meant only to subdue y/n. The only sound in the room is the soft smacking of their lips against each other, the little click that comes every time his lips slide off hers and then reattach milliseconds later. He leads the kiss (he always does), so every time he tilts her head, sunshine tilts the other way. When he slides his fingers into her hair, she stretches her neck upwards. When his teeth nip at her bottom lip teasingly, she whines with furrowed brows, pressing herself against his lips harder. And when he licks at the seam of her lips, she opens up for him, just like he taught her. 

He can feel his cock stirring, and forces himself to pull away. It’s a kiss deep enough to satisfy most of sunshine’s needs – to quiet her racing mind and get her focused on just him and nothing else – but it’s also nothing too intense to overwhelm her. And, it’s tame enough for Harry to be able to show some restraint. 

He has to take a second, hovering in front of her with his eyes still closed. His hand is still cupping her jaw, just reveling in the taste of her chapstick that lingers on his lips… he takes a deep, calming breath. Breathe in, hold for seven seconds, then out. He’s strong. 

But… when he opens his eyes, she’s looking up at him with disappointed and longing irises, her bottom lip jutting out sadly. She wants more, her eyes clearly say, and she’s needy for him, her pouted lips tease.

Okay maybe he’s not that strong. 

He’s barely kissed her, and yet her pupils are blown out with desire, breath already catching in her throat. He wonders how disheveled she’d look if he really kissed her. How she’d whimper out little noises if he licked into her mouth, or how her chest would rise and fall while she tries to catch her breath. She’d probably grip onto his shirt, wrap her arms around his neck and twist her fingers into his hair, tugging on it desperately.  And he’d grip her hips, grind her down onto his cock, bite on her bottom lip and suck on her tongue… god, his dick twitches at the thought of it. 

If he were strong, he’d shut his eyes and get a hold of himself – but he’s not. Instead he stares at her pretty lips, slicked and swollen just from that little bit of kissing. His thumb softly brushes against the apple of her cheek, while her eyes only grow wider and more pleading. If he likes her lips so much, then why doesn’t he just get back to kissing her! 

His thumb comes down to tug on her pouty lip so he can watch it bounce back into place. His eyes darken, his nose flares, and his eyebrows furrow, and then he hears her whimper, literally whimper because of how pent up and needy she’s feeling. His resolve crumbles.

If she wants more, he’ll give her more.

He kisses her again, still soft and gentle, but somehow it’s hotter. Needier. Their lips fold over each other over and over again, an eager, spit-slicked exchange. The only sound in the room is the soft smacking of their lips against each other, the little click that comes every time his lips slide off hers and then reattach milliseconds later. 

Y/n is unconsciously lifting herself up to be closer to him, nearly sitting on her knees now, pressing herself upwards and upwards. At this point he should just pull her on top of her, he thinks, so he puts a hand on her hip and coaxes her onto his lap. 

She’s clumsy as she climbs onto him, too concentrated on not messing up their kiss to successfully untangle her own legs (she’s still new to all this), but Harry doesn’t mind it. It’s endearing, how her foot gets stuck underneath her butt as she presses herself closer to him, or how her knee knocks against his hip as she tries to straddle him. His hands gently guide her thighs as she maneuvers herself onto his lap, hands encasing her ribs and steadying her uncoordinated movements.

His thighs spread open in a natural manspread, and he slouches down enough on the couch so that y/n’s a head above him. She has to lean down to keep their lips connected, her hair falling into his face, and her hands tentatively find their way to his shoulders so that she can keep her balance and not fall on top of him. Harry’s fingers gently brush the hair out of her face and tuck it behind her ear, then linger on her face, tracing over her cheekbone and cupping her jaw. He loves holding her face when he kisses her, especially because she unconsciously leans into his touch, sighing happily the way a kitten being pet would purr. 

She never knew the simple act of kissing could be this hot… but there’s something about having his warm mouth against hers, feeling the slick of his spit as he sucks her bottom lip into his mouth… even just feeling his heavy breaths against the side of her cheek. Soft sighs and little moans escape her in a way she can’t control, and her brows pinch together in the cutest, most desperate way when his hands migrate over her bum and start palming her.

She just wants to kiss him over and over and over again! No breaks, not even to breathe. She wants to feel his lips against hers until she passes out.

She reciprocates his every move eagerly, like a little puppy learning how to do tricks. She’ll move her head whichever way his nose nudges her, slot her lips against his at whatever pace he decides on. When he breathes, she breathes, and when he slides his fingers into her hair, she stretches her neck upwards. He’s constantly tilting his head to the left and then to the right, switching between suckling on her top and bottom lip, alternating between open mouth and closed mouth kisses – just teaching her as he kisses her. 

Harry pulls away softly, pressing his forehead to hers and petting the apple of her cheek with his thumb, giving her a break to catch her breath. “Alright?” he asks a bit breathlessly. She nods, eager but apprehensive. Harry calms her with a simple peck, soft and familiar. “Y’doing so good, sunshine,” he murmurs reassuringly. 

He’s kissing her again three seconds later, slower and more deliberately this time. She parts her lips once more, more sure of herself this time, and when his tongue flicks against her bottom lip softly she experimentally licks back. It immediately illicits a deep groan from Harry. He slides his tongue past her lips, tasting her, licking into her. His teeth nip at her bottom lip teasingly, and she whines with furrowed brows, pressing herself against his lips harder. He’s obsessed with her. Her lips are so soft, her body so pliant, he could kiss her for hours on end. 

She’s growing more and more desperate as their kiss grows hotter and hotter. Her hands on his shoulders start to wander, grazing over his tattooed chest, and she shuffles around on his lap, trying to wriggle closer to him. She’s getting that tingly feeling in her center that she only gets when she’s reading one of those books, and unconsciously, she starts grinding her center down on his lap. 

Harry lets out a strained groan, his hands immediately shooting down to hold her hips still. “Fuck,” he rasps, throwing his head back.

“Hm?” Y/n is out of it, chasing after his lips as he pulls away, completely unaware of Harry’s discomfort. She pouts at how his fingers are digging into her hips, preventing her from wriggling any closer to him when it’d felt so good! “What’s wrong?”

She threads her fingers through his hair, her nails scratching against his scalp, and tries to pull him back for a kiss – but he turns his head to the side, refusing. The abruptness leaves y/n disgruntled and confused. She’s panting, a bit breathless from how his tongue had been licking in her mouth, the electricity that had been flowing through her veins slowly fizzling away. Her lips are swollen, nearly bruised, and furrows her brows at the abrupt end to this >very nice kiss. 

"Need–" he licks his lips, "need t'take a second."

"Why?" she whines, staring down at his mouth. 

"M'bout to cum in my pants, sunshine. Gimme a bit." 

Her eyes widen. She looks down and sure enough… there’s the outline of his hard cock, a prominent bulge in his sweatpants. She’s never actually seen one in person and– gosh the size of it makes her tremble a little bit. Is that normal or is he just really big? He looks thick, and the tip of his cock is a significant length down his thigh. Why is her mouth watering? She swallows thickly and looks back up at him, like a deer caught in headlights.

She tries to give him some space, moving her hips back so that she’s not brushing against his erection… but even that small movement is painful for Harry, making him throw his head back with a loud groan. “I need to go to the bathroom,” Harry pants, hands on her hips, already lifting her off his lap. 

“What– oh!” she squeals as she’s suddenly thrown onto the couch.

She blinks. The bathroom door shuts. 

She’s never been more aroused in her life. 

+++

Harry has his hand down his sweatpants before he can even lock the door, fishing out his cock and palming himself with a deep groan. His pants slide down to midthigh as he spreads his own precum over his shaft, his fingers wrapped around himself in a tight fist. He pumps quickly, making sure to rub a thumb over his tip every once in a while, as that's one of the easiest ways to make himself cum. He wants this to be quick – he’s not in the bathroom jerking off because he wants an insane orgasm… he just wants his cock to stop hurting while he’s kissing his girlfriend! 

He throws his head back against the wall and thrusts his hips into his own hand, conjuring up all the images in his head – y/n’s pretty lips, slicked and swollen with his spit. Her disheveled hair, mussed up from his fingers. Her wide, moony eyes, her dreamy sighs and whimpers. Her cute bum in her tiny shorts, that had fit so nicely in the palm of his hand, that had jiggled so prettily when he lifted her onto his lap. His toes curl as he lets his thoughts get more explicit – how pretty would she look if she were the one jerking him off right now? If she was down on her knees with her tiny hand wrapped around his cock, pumping him and looking at his prick with those bambi eyes. What if she took him into her mouth? Laved her tongue around his tip the way his thumb is doing now? His biceps bulge as he jerks himself off, harder and faster, more cum leaking from his tip and making the glide smoother. If only he could fill up her mouth, cover her pretty lips with his cum…

His entire body shivers, long white streaks bursting from his cock and all over his fist. He bites his lip, refusing to let any sound escape the bathroom for y/n to hear. She’s not ready for… this. 

He looks at himself in the mirror– his cheeks are flushed, his hair is a mess, and his cock looks worn out. He washes his hands in the sink with soap, shamefully washing away the mess he made on his own hand, then splashes his face with water. His prick is still sensitive and he winces as he tucks himself back into his sweatpants. It’s barely been five minutes since he first entered the bathroom, meaning that he lasted a whopping… three minutes. 

She says nothing when he comes back, already back to reading her book. He lets out a sigh of relief. 

He stays firmly on his side of the couch for the rest of the night. 

+++

“Harry,” y/n moans.

Her hair is splayed out on Harry’s pillow underneath her head, Harry hovering right above her. He has one hand pressed on the bed to keep him above her, and the other on her hip, roaming up and down her body. One minute he’ll be cradling her ribcage delicately, and the next he’ll be gripping her thigh and hoisting it up and around his waist so that he can fit his hips in between hers.

Her hands are similarly roaming up and down his chest and his back, holding onto his shoulders and grabbing his biceps as he kisses her. Her back arches as his hand squeezes her bum, and a broken whimper filters between their lips. His tongue slips into her mouth when she whines, gliding against hers smoothly. And when he pulls off from the kiss, he lightly bites at her lower lip, tugging on it playfully before letting it bounce back into place. 

He buries his face in her neck, kissing down to her shoulder and over her collarbones, sucking lightly and then smoothing his tongue over the abused spots soothingly. His teeth nip and graze the thin skin of her throat, and his chest rumbles when she throws her head back to grant him more access. 

This is torture for him. 

It had started off so innocently, just the two of them watching Netflix together. His head was laying on her chest while they watched their movie, her fingers brushing through his hair (he loves it when she plays with his hair). But then – god, he’d been so stupid!!! He looked up at her, and saw her pretty face and her pretty eyes and her pretty lips… and he just wanted to kiss her so bad. One kiss wouldn’t hurt, he told himself!!!

He lifted his head from where his ear had been pressed against her breast, and leaned up to just press one sweet, innocent kiss to her lips. But then, one kiss turned into two, and two turned into three. He hated how she had to strain her neck and lean down to reach his lips, so he twisted around to make it easier for her. But then his neck started to hurt, so he pushed himself up so he was hovering above her. And now his dick is hard, and he’s grinding it down into her most intimate area.

He’s mentally bashing himself while kissing her – he should’ve had more self-control, he should pull away and go to the bathroom to sort himself…  but also he can’t stop kissing her. 

Y/n has zero complaints either, practically egging him on, begging him to go further. She threaded her fingers through his hair while they kissed, and wrapped her arms around him so that he wouldn’t pull away. She whimpered and whined prettily, fluttered her eyes when he kissed down her throat, arched her back into him and lifted her hips so that she could press herself into the area where he was obviously very hard.

He’s literally just a guy. How is he supposed to pull away when his soft and sweet girlfriend is pressing herself against her cock and moaning against his lips?

“Fuck,” his voice is strained and there’s a vein bulging in his neck as he takes a second to breathe. Y/n has learned well, and starts trailing kisses along his jaw while he catches his breath. She tries her hand at sucking marks on his neck, but finds herself too impatient to focus all her energy on one spot when she just wants to kiss all over his neck and cheeks! Her lips skim the corner of his mouth, pressing soft, teasing kisses. 

He breathes heavily, shutting his eyes and trying really, really hard to not cum in his pants.

Y/n makes it practically impossible though, whining “kiss me,” as her nails scratch deliciously at his scalp. Fire rushes through his veins at the sound of her voice and he nearly collapses on top of her.

“Baby…” he says, half warning and half pleading. She’s literal heaven on Earth. Her lips are like magnets, and when she skims her lips over his he can’t help but pucker to connect them in a kiss. She bites down on his lip, teasing him, and licks into his mouth, desperately wanting to feel his tongue gliding against hers again. 

She’s a riled up little thing, concupiscent and needy, eager to kiss for hours at a time. He’s had to invest in a jumbo sized vaseline to keep his lips hydrated with how overworked his lips are. And she’s naughty under her good girl, studious, bookworm persona. She tugs on his hair and leaves scratches on his back when they kiss, wraps her legs around him and lifts her hips to grind her softest areas against his hardness. She moans and whimpers and tells him how good he feels, presses her breasts up to his chest… god he can only imagine how she’ll act when he actually gets to touch her. 

His hand slides up her side, over her ribs and to her breast, palming it over her t-shirt. She loves being groped, apparently, always leaning into his touch whenever his hands pinch her tits teasingly or cup her ass. It makes her even needier for him, makes her more desperate to get rid of the clothes and jump straight in. Neither of them know how they’ve managed to go this long with only make outs and groping, when they’re just so obsessed with touching and feeling the other. It’s mostly only Harry’s romantic heart that has managed to keep them strong, who is absolutely adamant on giving y/n sweet and cherishable firsts. These hot makeouts are just a loophole around his rules.

Harry loses himself in her, lets her fill up all his senses. She’s all he can hear, all he can smell, all he can taste, and all he can touch. His mind is void of anything except for getting closer to sunshine, kissing her more and touching her more. Her tits are soft and warm, her bum is round and biteable, and her cute little tummy jumps whenever his fingers skim over it. He unconsciously grinds his hips into her center, the tip of his cock rubbing against her clit, from what he can feel through her thin shorts. His jaw goes slack every time he grinds himself against her, the pressure in his pants growing tighter and tighter– until he groans loudly above her, hiding his face in her chest as his entire body shudders and his arms grow weak. 

Y/n freezes, knowing that this particular grind of his hips was different from the rest. Instead of rolling his hips forward and backward, the way he’d been doing before, he presses his hips firmly against her and ruts forward in short jolts, hips twitching and abdomen clenching. A raspy groan leaves him, his cheeks red as cherries and his eyes hooded with pleasure. Y/n feels herself gushing at the thought of what just happened, and replays it in her head over and over and over again. Her voice cracks around a moan as he gives one final thrust against her, his hand squeezing around her tit firmly and erotically brushing against her nipple.

Their eyes meet, hers wide and blown out with a mix of innocent shock and filthy thoughts, while his are clear as the morning sky after a night of cleansing rain. He radiates post-orgasmic bliss.  

His cheeks are red like cherries and his eyes are lust-filled and hazy, hooded with pleasure. He radiates post-orgasmic bliss.

“Well, shit,” he chuckles at himself. He’s kind of embarrassed that he literally came in his pants by making out with his girlfriend, but for the most part he is just relieved that his balls aren’t bursting anymore. “Sorry, sunshine. I couldn’t– um, I couldn’t really control it.” He pushes himself up, feeling his own cum slowly against his thigh. “Are you okay?”

She nods, almost as if she’s in a trance. “I… want to do that again,” she whispers bashfully.

“Y’want to make me cum in m’pants again?” he asks with a soft, confused laugh.

“I-I just want to watch you… cum, again,” she hesitates around the word, feeling dirty and shy, despite how true the statement is. “Next time… next time, can I help?” she asks hopefully.

HIs eyes roll to the back of his head and he leans back down for a kiss.

“Y’gonna kill me, sunshine.”

+++

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[netherfeildren]

How to Endure Ardor:

Pairing: Joel Miller x F!Reader

Summary: Joel teaches you how to love him.

Rating: Explicit 18+

Content Warnings: Post outbreak; QZ Joel Miller; I'm saying this, but the setting is sort of ambiguous anyways, Stream of consciousness, Character Study, Alternating POVs; PIV sex; The troubles and toils of breaking up and then making up with a fucked up old man; Uncaring Joel; Mentions of painful sex; Toxic relationships or situationships or whatever you want to call it; I think I'm addicted to the idea of a Joel who'll never love you and I should probably see a doctor about it

A/N: she remembers how to write, who'd of thought!

Word Count: 1.3K

Read on AO3

This is a lesson:

“Tell me again,” she says, and it’s a begging.

A begging like what? Something that carries shame and smallness in the shape of it. Stay a little longer. It humiliates him for the wretchedness it pulls from him. Joel, please. Seeping blood the color of her supplication. Please, she says, please. And who else says please to him anymore? Who asks him for anything anymore but her? The only ones who ever had are long past and gone, and he can’t even barely remember they were ever really there to ask anything of him to begin with—can’t remember what it feels like to owe someone something and want to give it to them in a way that will actually make him. 

Tell me what again? That I want you? That I’ll stay? That I love you? I’ll come back, he says instead, the only thing he can promise and keep. And he wonders if it humiliates her too, the way he lies, the way he runs, the way he swears, the way he always comes back and comes back but never returns with the things she needs. A humiliation just like it is a begging. 

The thing they have: it’s strange, fickle, honest in its lies, very, very ugly. An ugliness that is shocking in a world gone to rot already. The sky doesn’t shine anymore and they bask in it. 

But also, and, the thing they have: it’s physical, saving.

This is obvious too, even if only to them.

He slides inside and you’re what? Hot and wet and slick, and—yes, a thing like a dream, but still only a thing. Something to have, something close to desire, but not quite, more like biological want. Woman turned possession. In his mind this is an excuse, a reason, a begetting. Like, what—like what? Like when you want a thing very badly but it is very bad for you, and you need to make up any excuse to have it, lie and lie and lie—to your mother, your best friend, the mirror—a begetting like that. Easy to understand only if you’ve been there. 

It started simple, it started like nothing, it started like the first time you meet someone and you know they’ll matter, you know they’ll mean something. So it started like what? Like a lie. 

Shifts at the QZ, long and toiling and reminders of the sort of life that died in an outbreak of monsters, only if for how unlike that past it was. Humans or fungus or—

—men who hurt—you, men who refuse your love, Joel Miller.

The crutch of your age, of you being weaker or smaller or in need, him being easily felled, wooed, easily conquered by something young and given without a try because there was never the opportunity for trying before. 

Now, it is like this: you take my cock and you take my come and you take my nothing, and I give so little and yet you still find a way to take and take and take, leech of a girl, dream of a girl, hungry. And with the excuse that it’s only in a way you contrive for your own self. But in the end, what does that make you? What do I make you into? 

These are the things he asks himself. 

Perhaps she goes away for a time, tries the route of escape, of variety. But when she inevitably comes back because addiction is riddled always in the same sorts of ways: did you try different bodies? Did you try different flavors and sounds? Did you look for me in all of them? 

The answer is usually yes.

At reunion’s turn: he rolls her over to face her, Joel, damp and panting and trying to be something—perhaps better, more honest—after a season of variety and honest attempts and shut eyes. He’s so hard for her, always is. 

Again: he slides inside and you’re what? His, undeniably. Not yours. Something to want but not desire because it’s too romantic a notion, and yes, there’s a difference even if he can’t put into words what that difference specifically is. Body and heart, perhaps, definitions that differ between disparate anatomical parts or levels of deniability. 

Nothing either of you have ever been able to put into words when lust and love aren’t things you can even say out loud for the shame of them, even if they exist within said same anatomy. 

You come together, the season passed, the separation passed but still kept at hand for the next time the closeness becomes too much. 

“Tell me again,” she says, and this time he remembers what she’s asking for.

“I fucking missed you, baby. Missed this pussy.” Because he can’t say it’s her heart he missed. Because Joel Miller does not have honesty in his arsenal. 

He spreads you wide, knee to shoulder so it hurts and pulls, so it’ll be sore and reminding tomorrow. The slap of his pelvis against the back of your thighs is obscene, wet and lewd, a string of girl cum keeping you connected, such togetherness, curve of your ass to the root of his cock—the two of you are together again. 

You know what I thought, when I tried to go away, you say. He doesn’t want to know, but he doesn't tell you so either, only slides in again, the mouth of your womb right there, threatening. I’m never going to feel like this again, and I hate how certainly I know that. He wonders if the unsaid part is that he’s the recipient of that feeling, the hate. 

He wonders if the pinch inside him is hurt. He wonders if the throb is love. 

All he says because he can’t say the rest is, I missed you, I missed you, and if he could look himself in the mirror—something that’s twenty years past lost—he’d ask: are you alright? Just tell me you’re okay. And it sounds in your own voice and with your own care and the feel of your own warmth. Is there anything I can do?

Other times, he sees himself through your own eyes, and then he knows for certain that the throb is love 

So he makes up for lost time, hard—and if it was a thing he knew how to be— loving. Mouth to cunt first, primed and soft and begging, making you come again and then another once more, then inside of you. Slow, splitting you open, red cunt like a wound, balls slapping wet, pulling out to watch the gape of the space he’s carved for himself. His cock is so hard and missing you something desperate. And he’s reminded of what it is to really miss something in a way he hadn’t been in twenty years of apocalypse, he’s forced to realized that it’s been so long since he’d had something to love that he’d not realized the feeling of missing that long past someone had gone away, only faint memory remained. 

Violent, is what this makes him after that realization—thrusts turning hard and punishing. How dare you give yourself to me? How dare you then take yourself away? You come around him again, the gift of your orgasm. How dare you not be able to accept the little I’m able to give when I’m trying so desperately fucking hard to give you even just this? 

He fucks you mean, he fucks you in the way of a man who doesnt know how to say the things he needs to say, in a way that’s confusing, that could make a less discerning woman feel only the hurt. 

But then again, you know him.

Fucks you in a way that is a little bit like love.

And so, amidst all of it, there is an honesty amongst the lies. A truth unspoken that they both know—I’ll come back because I need you, because you’re the only one who can give me the things I'm not strong enough to ask for out loud. 

You’re not sure which of the two of you is the one saying it.

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[idkwhatimdoinghere1655]

Rumours - Lando Norris

<word count - 7287> |part 1 - Nerd|

"Hey, I managed to get your wood pieces cut up yesterday. Don't worry, I did them the right size this time," Lando told you, sitting down opposite you at your table in the library. The two of you had been meeting quite often, now exchanging your ends of the deal you had made due to your maths test results. 

"Thank you. Don't forget that you still have to sand them and glue them, yeah?" you double checked, knowing that he had remembered but would pretend to forget to do it. Lando had been trying to wriggle out of his half of the deal, but you weren't letting him. 

"Yes ma'am," he said with feigned formality, saluting you. "And I want my maths done. We hand it in today, yes?" he asked, also knowing that you had already done it. Lando had seen you doing it the other day, and had to keep his friends from seeing him smile at you. 

He knew they'd make fun of him for being your friend, so he often found himself sneaking off to come and see you in the library. It wasn't that he was ashamed of being your friend, he just didn't want to face the backlash from his friends. 

Plus, he hadn't forgotten the hurt written all over your face when Max had made those comments about you nearly a week prior now, and he couldn't let you go through that again. He didn't know why, he had harboured a soft spot for you. 

Maybe it was because you weren't outwardly trying to flirt with him, maybe it was because you treated him normally, maybe it was because he liked you more than he liked everyone else. He found your sassiness endearing, and a welcome surprise. 

"Of course, but you're still going to learn how to solve quadratics at some point, you know that, right?" you told him, pushing the papers that were his homework over the desk and towards him. You had gotten pretty much perfect at plagiarising his handwriting so the teacher wouldn't be able to tell it was actually you doing the work. 

You and Lando had agreed that you were allowed to get a few of the harder questions wrong, just so it didn't seem like he had become a random genius overnight. He didn't want an expectation to be put on him once he actually had to do his own homework again, so he was fine with you messing up sometimes. 

"You'll teach me, I know you will," he smirked, and he was completely right. You would teach him, just like you had been pretty much all of his other subjects. You helped him with everything at this point, and he was more than grateful - even if he would never tell you that. 

The friendship that the two of you had formed was quick, to say the least. This time a week ago, you would have avoided Lando Norris at all times. He was cocky, arrogant and a downright dick. But now? He was lovely. 

Those short, daily meetings to check in on the progress that you were making on your ends of the deal were some of your favourite parts of the day - and they were his too. It was nice for both of you to just let loose and have a little giggle, even if you were meant to be being silent in the library. 

Neither of you really knew how you had become friends, you just sort of... had. After you had opened your results together, it was just how you were. It wasn't some slow and steady thing, it was more like an instant connection, and immediate understanding of each other. 

"You're right, I will. I need you to be better than Max," you said, still not liking Lando's best friend after the far from tasteful comments he had made about you. Lando had said that Max had apologised to him for it, but he had never directly apologised to you. 

Lando completely understood the resentment. If anything, he encouraged it. He hadn't helped, he knew that, but at least he had apologised. He tried to get Max to say sorry to you, but he had always refused. "I will be. How that idiot is in top set is beyond me," he quietly chuckled so that the librarian wouldn't tell you to be quiet. 

"You and me both," you agreed, just looking at him. He had always been handsome, even when you thought he was a massive dick. But now? He was even more handsome. That happened a lot of the time, really. 

If someone has a good personality, their looks are suddenly elevated by the tenfold. If they're a complete and utter arsewipe? Then they could be the most dashing guy in the world yet they'll look average at best. 

Now, looking at Lando, you thought he was gorgeous. If only you knew how he saw you. He had never really paid you much notice, not until now. Not until you had been stuck on the bus together. You were pretty at a glance, but the more he looked at you, the more he truly believed you were the prettiest girl in school.

Anyway, now wasn't the time for admiring each other's good looks. The pair of you had maths next period, and you didn't want to be seen together again. Lando was pretty sure that no comments would be made if you walked in at the same time, but he understood why you didn't want to run the risk again.

He'd go and find Max to walk with him, and you'd get to maths first like you always did. Bidding Lando farewell, you took yourself through the corridors of your school and down to the maths row. All of the classrooms were identical, save from a few student-made posters messily blue-tacked onto the walls.

Your teacher smiled as you walked in, not surprised to see you in early in the slightest. Eventually, everyone filtered in, Lando sending you a small smile as he walked behind Max to their seats on the back row. 

All of you had your books out and were ready to start, but your teacher didn't make any headway on actually starting the lesson. "OK everybody, before we begin today, I do have a few changes to the seating plan," she said, earning a chorus of groans from the class. 

You weren't so bothered, though. Anyone would've been better than sitting between the wall and one of Lando's dumb friends. Well, maybe anyone apart from Max, but you didn't think your teacher would do that to you. 

"We'll start with Max, can you swap with Lilly on the front row, please?" she asked as Max huffed, clearly not impressed with being put on the front row. Lando also wasn't overly enamoured at the swap, since he certainly didn't want to sit with Lilly. 

She had always flirted with him, and he didn't need even more of it for 5 hours a week. But, he was thankfully put out of his misery. "And since you have been absolutely smashing your work as of recent, Lando, you can come and sit next to Y/N. I think she could be a good influence on you," she said, and you had to stop a big, goofy smile from spreading across your face. 

Lando had been doing well since you had been doing most of his work, but you didn't even care. You were just grateful that you'd get to spend more time with him. Max watched with a disgustingly mischievous smirk on his face. "Miss, are you sure that's a good idea? You remember what happened last ti-" he started, and your teacher's face instantly turned thunderous. 

But, before she could get so much as a word in, Lando pipped her to the post. "Max, drop it." he sternly said, sending daggers at his friend as the class let out a series of 'ooos' and 'get told, Max!'. 

Lando paid no mind to them, since he had seen the way your face had dropped as soon as Max had opened his mouth, and he hated the way his friend made you feel. "Max go and stand outside," your teacher instructed, and Max stood with a sigh and took himself out of the classroom.

She read out a few more seat changes, then put the starter activities up on the whiteboard. They were just some simple equations, so you got them rattled out and finished within a minute. Your teacher walked outside, obviously to talk to Max and probably give him a detention.  

"Hey, you OK?" Lando whispered, still scribbling down his working out for some of the sums. Honestly, you were just grateful that Lando had stood up for you and stopped Max from saying something more than hurtful about you.

"Yeah, thanks for that," you nodded, flashing him a small smile. Lando was going to protest and ask again, but he didn't want to push you. If you said you were fine, he'd believe you. "Plus the three, not minus," you prompted, pointing at the line of working out on his page. 

"Shit, course. Thank you," he softly chuckled, changing the numbers on the paper. He was slightly annoyed at himself for making such a dumb error, but he was glad that you were there to correct him. He found himself completely agreeing with your teacher: you really were a good influence on him. 

You made him want to work harder, you made that competitive fire burn brighter within him. You had pushed him to get an A the first time, and after that, he had wanted more and more because the pay off of hard work was so refreshing to feel. He was used to average grades at best, but now the disappointment was something that didn't sit right with him. 

Your teacher walked back in shortly after, with Max in tow. He packed his stuff up and hurriedly made his way back out of the classroom, undoubtedly to detention. The rest of the lesson went by without a hitch, and it was nice to be pretty much forced to sit with Lando. 

You'd spend time with him either way, of course, but it was nice for the two of you to get a couple of extra hours a week that you wouldn't have to spend being quiet as mice in the library. The bell rang, signalling the end of the day as you all flooded out of the doors and out of the front gates.

You were waiting at the bus stop for your bus, and you saw Lando and his friends waiting too. You couldn't make out the words you were saying over the slight gusts of wind and the music in your ears, but you could hear witterings of your name. 

"I stuck up for her because Max was being a knob, she didn't do anything," you heard Lando protest, his voice slightly raised. He sounded... angry? You looked out of the corner of your eye to see some of them prodding at him, stupid grins plastered on their faces. 

They were clearly teasing him, and it was pretty obvious that Max had told them how Lando had stuck up for you during maths. In some ways, you felt bad. The only reason he had said anything was because he knew how upset you were the first time around, and he felt so guilty that he had let it slide. 

"She's over there, go ask her out," another one one jibed, pushing him in your direction. Lando's face looked dejected, since he knew that it wasn't easy to get his friends to shut up. They'd keep going until he said something that they wanted to hear. 

"I'm not asking her out, OK?" he sighed, just as the bus rolled up to the stop. 

Just like everyday, your bus driver had the same, dead inside expression on his face and he clearly wanted to be anywhere but driving that goddamn bus. He didn't even bother looking at your pass as you took yourself back to your seat in the corner. 

It was one of the unspoken rules of the bus: everyone had their seats, you never moved, never differed from the norm. The older you were, the further back you sat. The year 7s had to sit at the front, and they'd be met with yells and arguments from everyone else if they didn't.

Lando's friends scrambled to the other seats on the back row, leaving the one next to you free. It was obvious that it was on purpose, so he kept his mouth shut as he sat next to you. It wasn't that he was sitting next to you, no. That was never the problem.

The problem was that he was really worried that they would start to pick on you now that they had it in their heads that he liked you. Well, he did like you, as more than a friend. That much was clear to him right now. But he didn't want you to face the brunt of his friends teasing because he did in fact like you. 

It was just a stupid little crush, that was it. Nothing serious. Nothing serious at all. Did his heart flutter whenever you smiled at him? Yes. Did he feel volts of electricity when your hands accidentally brushed together? Yes. Was his day instantly made better when he talked to you? Yes.

But it was nothing serious. 

He just laughed along mindlessly to his friend's jokes, not really paying attention. Eventually, the bus trundled to a halt so that you could get off. Shuffling past Lando, you walked as quickly as you could so that his friends hopefully wouldn't notice.

"Hey Lando, this is your stop, right?" Max piped up, pointing at you getting off the bus. "Not going to see if she's better than last time? I'm sure she's had some practice."

Lando refused to stay anything, his face like stone as he let you peacefully get off the bus. "Was she seriously that bad that you really don't want more?" another one of his friends added. 

"I knew you guys were dicks but you're really taking the piss," he mumbled, suddenly getting out of his seat and swiftly striding down the aisle of the bus. "Stop, please," he said to the bus driver, who pulled over as Lando hopped off the bus and ran down the pavement to where you were. 

"Hey, sorry. I couldn't deal with them being complete twats," he said, stuffing his hands in his pockets and standing beside you on the pavement. For some reason, he couldn't meet your eyes, his fixed on the floor beneath his feet.

"I get it, don't worry," you agreed, not really sure what to do. Inviting him back to your house was completely off the table, but you didn't just want to walk away and leave him there by himself. "Is your mum coming to get you or...?"

"Yeah, I'll send her a text," he nodded, pulling his phone out of his blazer pocket. He shot a quick text to his mum, and she responded within a few seconds, saying that she was setting off as soon as she could.

Lando noticed that you made no move to leave and go home, instead you stayed by his side. You both stayed silent, unsure of what to say. It hadn't been this awkward between you since the bus ride the week before, and even that felt more comfortable than this did. 

"Just... do me a favour and ignore what they're saying, yeah? It's just them trying to be funny, don't pay any mind to it," Lando said, hoping that you weren't bothered by what his friends were saying. The last thing he wanted was for you to be upset by what they were saying, since he valued your feelings a lot more than he thought he ought to. 

He also highly valued your opinion of him more then he deemed necessary. He didn't want you thinking ill of him, or of his choice in friends. He didn't want you thinking that he was like them, or that he would say things like that. He didn't want you thinking that he didn't care.

Because he did. More than he'd ever care to admit. 

"Yeah, sure," you nodded, not fully convinced. Any time you'd ever been seen with Lando in school by other people that weren't the library lot, you were chastised for it. Yes, it had only been twice, but that was enough to convince you that being around Lando inherently meant that you were going to be hassled. 

Of course, you didn't want it to be like that. Life would be so much easier if you were allowed to just be his friend, and nothing else. You'd help him with maths and whatever other subjects he needed, you could sit together in class without having the mick taken out of you, and you could just enjoy his company. 

Lando could tell that you weren't swayed by his words, and he didn't blame you. His friends would likely make comments for the remainder of the year, and he'd just have to take it in his stride. 

Soon enough, Lando's mum pulled up at the bus stop, getting out of the car to come and greet you. "Y/N, it's lovely to see you again," she beamed, and the smile on her face was enough to quell the worries and slight annoyance that you felt at that moment. 

"Likewise," you nodded, spotting the same scarf around her neck that she let you borrow when the picked you up the week prior. 

"How has your day been, sweetheart?" she asked, even though her motherly instincts could instantly tell that something was wrong. She had also clocked how Lando would barely make eye contact with her or you, and he was fidgeting with his fingers. 

"Good, yeah. Lando now sits with me in maths, so that's... fun." you trailed off, looking for the right word to describe it. Lando sitting with you wasn't the problem, it was the consequences of it. 

"Then I'm sure you can keep helping him out with getting those A's," she smiled. "Now Lando and I have to dash, dinner is nearly ready." 

"Sure, it was nice to see you again. Lando, I'll see you tomorrow," you mustered up one last small smile, before turning and starting the short walk off to your house. Lando clambered into the car next to his mum as she began the drive home. 

"What happened, Lando?" she asked her son, not having the patience to wait any longer to find out what was bothering the both of you. He stayed silent, just staring at the road ahead as she glanced at him. 

He knew her silence meant she was waiting for an answer, and he also knew that lying to her would get him absolutely nowhere. "Just my friends being di- they're being idiots." he corrected himself, his mum chuckling at the slip up. 

"What have they done? Did they say something about Y/N again?" she pushed, waiting for Lando to cave and tell her everything. It never took her long for him to crack and pour out his soul to her, but it would take a bit of prompting. 

"It's just because I've been moved to sit next to her in maths, and after last week they all think I have a crush on her and stuff," he mumbled. And there were those pesky motherly instincts again. 

"So you don't have a crush on her?"

"That's not the point," he rushed, wanting to brush over the tricky topic of his feelings for you as quickly as he could. "The point is is that the comments they make are too far and it upsets her. She says it doesn't but I know it does," he sighed, his mum giving him some more silence to continue if he wanted to.

"I try to get them to stop but they just keep going and it's getting on my nerves." he complained, slumping back against the passenger seat of the car. 

"You've got to try and ignore them, Lando. I know it's not easy when they're being nasty, but it's the best you can do. If you're not affected by it, then they might stop and then it'll be better for both you and her." she said, fully knowing it was easier said than done. 

Lando was strong, she recognised that, but he was already getting worn down by the teasing from his friends. "Yeah, sure," he reluctantly agreed, trying to take his mind off of the whole situation. 

He contemplated texting you to see if you were alright, but that was when he realised he didn't have your actual phone number. He had your Instagram and Snapchat, but not your number. He felt like he was supposed to have it, but he never really thought to ask you.

Maybe he would tomorrow, if he saw you again. He had to tell you about his plans for your DT project anyway, and he had some science stuff that he needed help with as well. 

The next morning, Lando was on the bus as it rolled past your stop. You weren't stood there with your headphones in, shivering because of the biting cold like you usually were. The bus driver didn't even think twice as to why you weren't there, but Lando did.

Thankfully, his friends didn't notice your absence, or how bothered he was by it. He hoped you'd be in school, since he didn't want to go through maths without you. Also, he was wanting to come to the library. It was part of his routine now, and he didn't want to break it. 

He didn't see you in first or second period, but he didn't have any classes with you until later. Going to the library at break, he didn't find you in your corner table, and he really was thinking that you weren't in school today. 

Meanwhile, however, Lando was completely oblivious to the rumours that were spreading about the two of you. The more tame ones were that you both had crushes on each other, and the much worse ones made your skin crawl. 

It was basically all just what Max had said to you last week, complete with the high-pitched, borderline pornographic moans. But it wasn't just him saying it. It was nearly everyone you walked past from your year, all because of how popular Lando was and how notable you weren't in the social hierarchy. 

It was driving you crazy, comment after comment from people who you had never even spoken too. Constant taunts of his name, over and over and over. You tried to hide in all the places you thought possible: the toilets, spare classrooms, corners that no one was usually in. 

Yet you couldn't escape the seemingly unavoidable torment, all because your bus broke down a week ago. You couldn't tell whether you were upset or pissed off, the emotions all swirling together in a maelstrom in your mind. 

You knew Lando would have gone to the library to look for you, but you didn't want to risk even being near him. It was at the point where you were even dreading maths, your favourite hour of the day, just because you'd have to sit with Lando.

The whole experience was so jarring, since one minute you were happily able to mind your own business, but now? You were the center of attention for all the wrong reasons. 

Finally, it was lunch, and you swiftly strode past the canteen where everyone was eating lunch. They'd all be occupied for a short while, so you'd finally be able to find some solace. You also had some of Lando's maths homework to do, even if that was one of the last things you wanted to be doing right now.

Lando was sat with his friends while you walked past, all of them looking and pointing. It was at this point where he started to realise what was going on, and he was catching wind of all the rumours that were being spread about the two of you. 

Guilt sat heavy in the pit of his stomach, the feeling of complete helplessness weighing him down. He gave it a few minutes before saying he was going to the toilet, and none of his friends actually caught on to what he was doing. 

He walked towards the bathrooms, before ducking out of sight and darting up the stairs to the library. There weren't many people in there as his eyes scanned the surroundings. There were the usual people that occupied the room, and you - sitting in the corner, furiously scribbling away at that familiar, crumpled sheet of his maths homework.

For a moment, he just stood there and watched you. You kept crossing things out and punching numbers aggressively into your calculator. This was a far cry from your calm disposition, and it worried him. You had obviously heard the comments, and he knew that people would be saying things to you directly. 

He walked over, pulling out the chair in front of you and sitting down. You eyes flicked up, before focusing back down on the pages on the table. "Go away, Lando," you whispered, the sharp tone of your voice catching him off guard.

He didn't have chance to respond before you chimed in again. "I don't want to be seen with you, so please leave me alone."

Now that hurt. 

You didn't want to be seen with him. This would upset anyone, so he wasn't surprised that you weren't happy about it, but completely ceasing all contact and interaction with him was painful for him. He didn't want to be isolated from you all because the kids in your year were bored and had nothing better to do other than spread lies. 

"No one will come in here, it doesn't matter," he replied, leaning forward and resting his elbows on the table. You still had your eyes focused on his homework, your pencil still moving over the paper. 

"And if they do, they'll just say even more shit and I don't want it," you rushed, a single tear falling onto the page and staining it. You wiped them away, trying to stop more from falling from your eyes. 

Lando's heart did nothing short of break as he sat there, feeling completely powerless. He didn't know how to comfort you in this situation, he didn't know how to help, how to make it better. He hated that he was the root cause of all your upset.

"They won't, I'll make sure they won't," he rambled, needing you to believe him. You both knew it was a lie, and he'd never be able to stop the constant teasing for you. He wished he could, but that was simply all it was. A wish.

"Please just leave me alone." you whispered, thrusting the crumpled, tear-stained sheet of maths homework towards him. "And don't worry about my DT stuff, I'll do it myself." you mumbled as Lando just sat there for bit. 

You didn't look at him, just down at the wood of the table. He didn't know what to say, how to get you to believe him. With a resigned sigh, he pushed back from the table, picking up his homework. He folded it and tucked it into his blazer pocket, stepping away from you.

"I still want to be your friend, despite what they're all saying. And I hope I can be," he told you, before walking away and out of the library. He had never felt so unsettled after a conversation ever, and now he felt so down and dejected. 

Mindlessly making his way back to his friends in the canteen, all that he could hear were your words echoing in his head. Sitting back at the table, his friends' attention all turned to him. "That took you awhile." 

"You and Y/N go for a quickie?" someone else laughed, all of his friends bursting out in fits of laughter. Lando just sat there, face like thunder. God, he was getting pissed off. You were upset, his friends were being horrendous, and he had had enough. 

"Will you lot just fucking shut up? Your jokes are tasteless and downright childish. It's not funny, I don't feel like laughing and neither does Y/N, so just drop it and find something else to obsess over." he snapped, and they all just looked at him. 

For a short moment, he thought they were just going to bite their tongues and sit there. Maybe, the normally cool, calm and collected Lando losing his cool was just what they needed to mature for a moment and reflect on how other people felt, not just what seemed humourous at the time. 

But, reality was far crueler than that. "God is she really that bad? Why do you keep going back if you keep getting disappointed?" That was his final straw. 

"Fuck all of you, honestly," he spat, slinging his bag over his shoulder and walking off. It would only be a few minutes before the bell went anyway, so Lando took himself off to maths. As he arrived at the room, he found that the door was locked. 

Peering through the window, he saw you, sat there in your seat with a few tears trickling down your cheeks. Your teacher knelt down in front of you, balancing by holding onto the desk. Her face had sympathy written all over it, and it was clear that you were talking about what was happening. 

You kept wiping the tears away, but more stubbornly made their way out of your eyes. He felt like the convalescence was eating him alive from the inside and out. He wished he could take it away, make everything in your life as perfect as it should have been, but he couldn't.

Lando couldn't take watching you any longer, so he lifted his hand and wrapped his fist against the wood of the door. Your teacher stood and let him in, before pulling him over to the side. You still wouldn't look at him. "I know we've just moved you, but would it be alright if I moved you back onto the back row?" she asked.

He said nothing, just nodding and begrudgingly going to sit in his new seat. You didn't even want to sit with him. Lando pulled his phone out of his pocket, not caring if your teacher got mad. She noticed, but didn't say anything. "Lando phone away when people start coming in, please."

He put it away as soon as he asked his mum if she could pick him up, since he didn't feel like getting the bus. She responded with a swift 'yes', and he put his phone away as instructed. 

The end of the day couldn't come quick enough as maths droned on and he was finally able to escape. As he walked past the bus stop, he noticed that you weren't there. He figured you had done the same thing as him: asking one of your parents to pick you up to avoid the treacherous bus journey.

Wordlessly, Lando climbed into his mum's car as she looked at her son's face. For the first time ever, she couldn't tell how he was feeling. His face was completely blank, practically unemotional. She had never been this worried about Lando. 

"Sweetheart, what-" she started, before noticing the tears brimming up in his eyes. She would have pulled over, but she didn't want anyone from school seeing. "Darling what's wrong?" she asked, still reluctantly driving. 

"They just... they just won't stop." he said, his voice cracking with the words. "I just want them to leave me alone, leave her alone. She doesn't even want to be my friend anymore, I had to get moved away from her in maths, and it's just all shit," he rambled, a few tears rolling down his reddened cheeks.

"Oh, Lando..." she softly said, her heart breaking at the sight of his tears. He was never one to cry, or get overly emotional about stuff. He was a typical teenage boy in many aspects, and his emotions were no exception. He liked to keep things to himself, only letting is feelings show when they were hitting him in overwhelming bouts.

"Does she think you're saying things about her?" she asked, not wanting to upset him even more. 

"No, I don't think so. She just said she doesn't want to be seen near me when I went to go see her in the library like I normally do, and she was crying before maths to our teacher." he explained, and she was at a complete loss on what to do. "The stuff they say to her is just... God it's awful..." he mumbled, wiping away his tears. 

"Sweetheart I know this is probably the last thing you want to hear right now, but is that Y/N walking home?" she asked, and the question caught him off guard. Funnily enough, he looked out the window to see you trudging home. 

You had your hands stuffed in your pockets with your headphones plugged in your ears, your breath appearing like mist in front of you. That was when it dawned on him that your parents hadn't come to pick you up, you had taken it upon yourself to make the nearly hour long walk home in the freezing winter temperatures. 

"Yeah. Yeah it is," he confirmed, suddenly conflicted. His mum would obviously want to give you a ride, and he did too. He didn't want you walking home in the biting cold, but he also didn't think he could take seeing you upset, or you seeing him upset. 

But his heart won out. "Can we take her home, please?" he quietly asked, and his mum nodded, pulling over onto the pavement so that she could get out to talk to you. Lando got out to hop in the back, wanting to give you the front seat with his mum. 

"Y/N? Sweetheart? Do you need a ride?" she asked, approaching you as you pulled your headphones out of your ears. She could see the redness around your eyes, undoubtedly from crying.

"No, no. But thank you," you weakly smiled, the pained expression on your face making it impossible for her to just let you go.

"Lando told me about what's been happening. I understand why you don't want to be near him right now, but there's no one around, I will get you home and warm as quickly as possible." she reassured, hell bent on not leaving until she had you in the car. 

"OK," you agreed, walking to the car and getting in the front seat. Lando had already cranked up the heating and put the heated seats on for you, the leather warming underneath you. You knew he was on the backseat, but you refused to acknowledge him. 

Deep down, you knew you were being unnecessarily harsh towards Lando. He hadn't done anything wrong, and he had tried to be there for you in the best way he knew possible. Thankfully, he knew you weren't pushing him away because of him directly, it was because of what being around him brought you. 

He was sure that you still liked him, and he didn't take this personally. Yet it didn't stop him longing for you to be his friend again, to banter and joke with you and to just spend time with you like he used to. 

From his bag, he pulled out that same navy sweater and handed it to you, and you accepted it with a small smile in the rear view mirror. Your fingertips brushed against his as your fists closed around the fabric, the cold of your hands stinging his skin. 

You shrugged your coat off of your shoulders, pulling the jumper over your head. It was still too big on you, the sleeves stopping up to your knuckles. If you were standing, it would hand down to the tops of your thighs.

The drive to your house was silent, the only sound being the heating flowing through the vents as well as the occasional ticks of the indicators. After a short while of driving, you pulled up outside of your house.

Lando waited in the car as his mum escorted you to the door, a warm expression on her face. "Come here," she quietly said, opening her arms out to you. Without a second thought, you let herself fall into her embrace, softly shaking with silent sobs. 

"I know it's hard darling, I know it is," she whispered to you, one hand reaching up to stroke your hair. "It'll get better, I promise." she tried to reassure. 

For Lando, it was one of the worst scenes he had to bear witness to. He had seen you crying more than he had seen you smile as of recent, and it was killing him inside. He wanted to get out of the car and hug you as well, but he didn't want to run the risk of upsetting you even more.

Once you were settled in the house, his mum finished the drive home and let him have some piece. In his room, he sat at his desk, just mindlessly staring into space. You were all he could think about, and he couldn't shake you off. 

The sight of your tear-stained face was clouding his mind like an early-morning fog that he couldn't blow away. His eyes fell upon your pieces of wood for your DT project on his desk, as well as the maths homework he wouldn't be able to give you to finish. 

At this point, the deal didn't matter. Sure, you still had 3 weeks of homework of his to do, and he still had to do your workshop stuff for another week, but that was the least of his concerns. But he still wanted to do it for you. 

Lando had skipped dinner, not feeling hungry enough to go downstairs to eat. He also didn't feel like being held to people's questions and talks about what everyone had been up to in the day. He just needed some time alone. 

Just before he was going to take himself to an early bed, there was a knock at his bedroom door. "Yeah?" he called out, the door opening to reveal his mum.

"How are you doing?" she asked, entering and coming to sit next to him on the edge of his bed. 

"I'm... fine," he lied, not wanting to delve into the complexity of his feelings. He didn't want to have to voice his deeper rooted mindset on you. He couldn't tell if he was upset that now you'd never consider being anything more than his friend, or if he was more saddened by the fact that you didn't even want to be his friend anymore. 

He had been grappling with his feelings for the past couple of days, shocked at how quickly they had settled into his mind. Lando had never developed such a strong admiration for anyone in his entire life - even if every crush he had ever had was based off of purely superficial factors. 

But you weren't like that. Yes, he thought you were one of the prettiest girls he had ever laid his eyes upon, but it wasn't the driving motive for his feelings. He liked your personality, your humour, how goddamn smart you were. 

Seeing you thrive in the environment you worked best in was so fulfilling to him, and it was one of the many reasons he held you so dear to him. Yet he didn't know what to do about his feelings. He didn't want to ruin your friendship by telling you, but he didn't want to miss the opportunity to have something real with you. 

You were special to him, oh so special. He liked the idea of you as his girlfriend. Walking you to class, studying together, getting to sit together whenever you wanted and the comments wouldn't get to you because you'd be his. Maybe you'd even be able to sneak in a few kisses when no one was looking. 

Despite being the most sought-after boy in highschool, and the closest thing to an american 'jock' that a british secondary school had to offer, he still hadn't really delved into anything relationship-wise. No kisses for the sake of it, nothing. Hell, even Max had kissed a girl at a party once, but Lando never had.

"I'm really proud of you, you know," she said, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and tugging him closer to her. "You did the right thing today, even if it wasn't the most pleasant option for you," she continued. 

"I know you want her to be your friend again, but you've just got to give her time. People will forget about it and move onto someone else soon enough, but you've just got to wait it out and be there for her when she wants you, which she will. You're both very overwhelmed and neither of you know what to do, but it'll all work out." she reassured, kissing him on top of his curly locks.

"It doesn't bother me what they say to me, it's the fact that she's so upset by it... that's what makes it worse," he quietly admitted, leaning into his mum's comforting embrace. They sat there for a while, just hugging. 

"You need to get some sleep, sweetheart. You've just got tomorrow then all weekend, yeah? We can do whatever you want, with whoever." she told him, wanting to make his weekend as good as possible. 

"I've got homework to do," he sighed, thinking over all the assignments that he wouldn't be able to have your help with. Glancing back over at the desk, he saw the remnants of your DT project sitting there, his mind now set on doing this for you. 

"You can do it on Sunday," she told him, trying to sway him into just having fun for a day. She wanted to cheer her son up after the shitty few days that he had gone through, and he deserved a bit of respite. 

"But I want to finish off Y/N's project... I promised..." he whispered, the words tugging at his mum's heart strings. She had never seen her son so attached to someone, so desperate to please them and make them happy. 

She was proud of him, proud of the man he was becoming. It was obvious how much he cared for you, and she really hoped that you'd allow him back in again, than you'd allow him to be your friend and maybe more again. 

"How about you ask dad to help you with it on Sunday? Make it really special?" she suggested, and she noticed the slight light sparking in his eyes at the idea. 

"Yeah, I think I'll do that," he nodded, already running through the different possibilities of what he could do on your project to make it best in the class. He may have been struggling, but it wasn't going to stop him from trying to make you happy.

No matter what anyone said, how they made him feel, how they forced you to push him away, he'd always try for you. You made him a better version of himself, a version that worked hard and cared about more than just getting through school and being cool while doing it. 

You made him care about his grades, how he spoke to people, his actions. You made him better. You made him want to be better. For you. All of it was for you. 

A/N - I know, I've not posted anything in a week, I am sorry. I have been working on this one all week, and I have started the next part for y'all. Something about writing highschool Lando just hits different. It would be the same if I did Charles, Carlos, Max etc, but they would be in a british highschool because that's what I know best. Anyways, have a wonderful day/night, love y'all! 💖🤓

tag list: @anvi-sarai @robotchickenmerp @cheriladycl01

|masterlist|

[reesespeanutbutterfuck]

RIVAL KEN SATO 4 THE KEN SATO BRAINROTTERS

pairing: ken sato x reader

cw: f!reader, rival!ken sato AND AT THE SAME TIME enemy!ken sato, intimidating reader, reader somehow becomes emi's mother figure, goofy ahhh writing again, girldad!ken sato

here's chapter one.

rival!ken sato who swore by his no attachments vow before he moved to tokyo from LA.

rival!ken sato who was confident and certain he'd outshine all of his teammates in this new team he's in, his favorite baseball team in his childhood, the giants.

rival!ken sato who was flabbergasted when he found out that you, the sole woman in the team, were the one leading the team.

rival!ken sato whose daydreams about himself being the star of the giants got crushed because you were already there.

rival!ken sato who you didn't approve of and who you saw as a disgrace to the team and baseball. you have no idea how he got in. everyone says he's one of the best players of his team back in LA, but all he did was to dissapoint you.

rival!ken sato, the newbie who ruins all his bats and messes up in court in every chance he gets. you were losing patience with this new guy.

rival!ken sato who wants to become the same level as you and who you saw as a threat to your place in the team.

rival!ken sato who despite being your teammate, competes with you for the same exposure and place in the team, but horribly fails because his own arrogance and egocentrism always gets in his way.

rival!ken sato who always gave you a fair competition and doesn't hold back to give it his all just because you're a woman, out of respect for and belief in your capabilities, that you always appreciated. you don't want to have an easy male opponent just because you're female.

rival!ken sato who is actually more gentlemanly outside the court, but somehow his clumsy attempts at cockily striking a conversation with you fails because of your dismissive nature.

rival!ken sato who subconsciously started to "admire" his intimidating hardcore female teammate who doesn't even talk to him and obviously dislikes him.

rival!ken sato who started storing all data he can find about you in his AI companion's system, because you somehow "help deal with some of his... problems at home, refusing to acknowledge how one of the reasons why he does it is because he wants to know you—that he's interested in you.

rival!ken sato who started to get all mushy and nervous around you. he doesn't know what's wrong with him. being the naive dolt he is, thinks it's just because you were intimidating, as you always were, and he's just intimidated. he brushes it off.

rival!ken sato who you were forced in a close proximity since shimura wanted you to teach him a lesson and make sure he gets his shit together, that you've always wanted to do, you only needed to be given a pass.

rival!ken sato who appreciates your contructive criticism. who actually listens to your advices on how to improve himself.

rival!ken sato who grew on you little by little.

rival!ken sato who now respects you as a teammate, and not as a rival.

rival!ken sato who you were starting to tolerate as your time together passes by.

rival!ken sato who felt this weird feeling in his chest when one random night he acknowledges how he was finally slowly being more open and tolerant of him. every interaction, even the smallest ones, were always cherished by him.

rival!ken sato who sleeps soundly with an involuntary smile on his face everytime he thinks about the validation you give him earlier that day, as he looks forward to the next day because it means he'll be seeing you again.

rival!ken sato who secretly rejoices at the back of his mind when he observes how you don't glare at him that often anymore, how you're more comfortable with letting him in your personal space, how you include him now when you're talking team. how you're starting to speak more than five words and none of them were intended to criticize him. he realized it meant two things—one, his pending task of improving himself is a success, and two, you two were becoming closer.

rival!ken sato who is already contented with only what you can give, as he accepts his feelings towards you, at the same time also accepting you'll be nothing but friends, and it's fine. It's his fault for catching feelings, after all, never yours. little did his poor, oblivious self knew, you've grown to care about him more than you should, too.

rival!ken sato who threw away his no attachments vow because of you.

rival!ken sato who was parallel with you in many ways, you two were just as broken as each other.

enemy!ken sato who doesn't know you were also an undercover agent of the KDF, the organization trying to take him down.

and enemy!ken sato who you don't know was the man behind ultraman. the very person you were tasked to take down.

enemy!ken sato whose relationship with you would be a mess with if the both of you finds out about each other's alter egos.

oh,

by the way, all of these encounters would be even more interesting when i tell you emi will also be in the picture while these scenes unfold.

and as you somehow at one point, ended up as her mother figure. you, someone so closed-off, as a mother figure?

***

[dyns33]

The Best Friend

We will have to wait for 2 years to see Homelander again so here's a little new series about him

After realizing that it wasn't really a good idea to raise a child in a laboratory by subjecting him to several tests that were more like torture than anything else, Doctor Vogelbaum decided to start the 'friend' project.

Arranging financially with orphanages, he brought in children whose absence no one would notice, in order to try to develop young John's social skills.

Of course, it wasn't really a success. Most of the children never made it out of the room alive, the others were saved at the last moment but in a catastrophic state, and the lucky ones managed to flee crying, only because John found them too annoying to chase after them.

Then, there was subject 8.

The youngest had no names, and since they were of no importance to anyone, including the doctors, they hadn't bothered to name them. So they introduced Subject 8 to John without much hope.

The little girl was placed on a chair in front of him. With big curious eyes, she watched him while chewing on a finger, but unlike most of her predecessors, she didn't seem afraid.

"Where's mommy ?" she asked timidly to the boy in front of her.

"I don't know. I don't have a mommy."

"Oh. They say mommy's dead, but I want mommy."

"… Your mom's dead ?"

Most of the children hadn't tried to talk to John, too frightened by the situation, then by his behavior. The others had made too much noise, had been rude, or had talked about subjects that didn't interest him.

Family was a complicated subject for the future Homelander. Abandonment too, the feeling of loneliness.

For the first time since the beginning of the 'friend' project, he looked at another human being with what seemed like empathy. Slowly, with a caution that no one suspected, he took the little girl in his arms.

"Don't worry, I'll take care of you now."

"Okay."

He called her Y/N. He had heard that name in one of the movies they showed to teach him how to become a superhero and he had found it pretty. According to him, it suited subject 8 perfectly, his best friend forever.

Like the children they were, they promised each other to be faithful and to stay together no matter what. Even if they weren't always together.

John didn't like having his Y/N taken from him. The first time a nurse had come to get the little girl to take her back to her cell, he had had a huge tamtrun, killing the poor woman.

Too young or having immediately had blind trust in the one who had said he would take care of her, Y/N had not been afraid, clinging to him while crying because she did not want to leave him.

Doctor Vogelbaum had spent several hours discussing with the boy so that he would agree to let her go, on the condition that he was assured that he would see her again the next day, and the following days after.

This incident scared the team, who wondered if they should not stop this project immediately, or if it was too late. But their leader was certain that it was a good thing, a new way of holding John.

If he behaved well, he would be able to see Y/N. If not, he would be punished.

This lasted for several years, until John's adolescence, the beginning of more intense exercises, and the choice of his future.

They should have known that this would happen. Raising a supe in a cage was one thing, but a little girl without powers, that couldn't last forever.

Doctor Hobbes refused to tell John the news. He had a hard time getting the other doctors to accept it.

"She was fine last night !"

"What can we do ?! Hobbes found her dead this morning, he tried to revive her, but nothing worked !"

"And the V?"

"I panicked…" sighed Doctor Hobbes. "I followed the protocol without thinking."

The protocol was simple. No proof, no problem, hence the importance of having a very powerful oven.

That day, Doctor Vogelbaum thought he was going to be killed by his creature for the first time in his life. He had never seen him in such a rage.

It was clear that John really loved Y/N. In a way, it was a success, proof that this thing was capable of feelings after all, even if he remained just as capable of the worst.

It took a lot of time and patience to heal this wound. No one was stupid enough to try to offer him a new friend. Nothing could have replaced Subject 8.

Homelander tried not to think about all this too much. In his dreams, the moments with Y/N ​​were the only happy ones, until they turned into a nightmare and he saw her dead in his arms.

The first person he had sworn to protect and hadn't saved. What a superhero.

After the revelation about Becca Butcher and his son, he asked Vogelbaum if he didn't have anything else to tell him. Another secret. But no, nothing. If the old man could, he would have kept Y/N alive as long as possible, just to have a chance to control him.

What Homelander had forgotten was that if people lied to him, they also lied to each other.

It took another four years, four years of pain, disappointment, loneliness, for him to have fun searching Barbara's office after visiting the whole new team of doctors.

Among all the files, projects, photos, he recognized Doctor Hobbes. He had retired a little before Vogelbaum, and in the photo, he could be seen next to a young girl, holding her by the shoulder as if she were his daughter.

Except she wasn't his daughter. She wasn't his at all.

"John ?" was the first thing Y/N said, smiling when she opened the door to find Homelander.

She didn't look surprised. Nor scared. She invited him in with a certain cheerfulness that no one displayed in Homelander's presence, especially knowing what he was truly capable of.

And Y/N knew it well, she had grown up with him.

"I'm so glad to see you ! Doctor Hobbes wouldn't let me contact you, he said it wouldn't be good for your career. He's dead, but I thought maybe he was right. I didn't want to bother you, you must be so busy. I didn't think you'd want to see me again."

"… They told me you were dead."

"Yes, I know." she sighed sadly, though she kept her smile. "Doctor Hobbes was selfish. I reminded him of his daughter, whom he lost in a car accident. He saw the opportunity to take me away, saying it would be better for me to be free. Except he kept me here, a new cage. At least he was kind enough to make me fake papers and adopt me before he died…"

"You wanted to leave."

"No ! No, I wanted to stay with you… He said you were going to become important, do important things, and that I would be a burden. It's true after all, like you say, I'm one of the mud people…"

"You're not a mud person !"

He had yelled like he had yelled at everyone for a long time now, but John immediately felt bad. He had never yelled at Y/N, never. He had promised not to hurt her.

It was surprising to see that she hadn't jumped, and that she still wasn't afraid. On the contrary, she only looked sorry for him, coming to sit next to him, putting a hand on his.

"I'm sorry, John. I should have tried to contact you. You would have told me if you didn't want me."

"I will always want you." he sobbed with shame. "You were everything to me ! My Y/N. The only good thing in this damn lab, the only one who cared about me, who comforted me when I came back from the bad room. I told myself… I told myself that I shouldn't get attached to humans after you. Because they're so fragile, so easy to lose."

"I'm here. I'm here as long as you want me."

She was sincere, her heart proved it. Her eyes were looking at him exactly as they had before she disappeared from his life.

With anyone else, John would have doubted. After everything he'd been through, the voices in his head could have told him to test the limits, to break her neck, to make fun of her.

But all he heard was 'Y/N is here ! She's back, she's alive ! Our Y/N ! Do better this time, protect her, don't lose her, tiger !'

When he took her in his arms and she tenderly returned his embrace, he felt what he was missing with Madelyn, with Stormfront, with Becca, with all the people around him.

He finally felt complete. Happy.

And for once, Homelander was going to do everything not to ruin everything.

[brucewaynehater101]

I'll admit I love the dadification of Tim by bruce, but I also love tim being much more of a perfectionist and being more efficient than Bruce.

And Bruce would say he loves it- but like. He now sees the problem with working with himself.

__________

A mission goes completely sideways, and it wasn't as if it was the first time it happened. In fact, in the end, they still fulfilled their objectives... just... not in the way they were supposed to do.

"...are you mad at me?" Bruce asks, fingers holding on to the bat-steering wheel so hard he could swear they were white under his black glove.

If he was with Jason or Dick, he'd know his answer. 'No, I'm not mad. I'm disappointed' because it was a gentle answer. It was the right answer. He was a father, a trying one, at least. He could be gentle. He could be nice.

Tim, however, could not.

"What do you *think*, genius?"

Bruce flinches. It's been a while since he felt the familiar signs of tears in his eyes. He forces himself not to cry. He was a *grown man*, he refused to feel shamed by a 15 year old's scolding - a rough glove strokes at the wetness on his cheek.

Tim sighs. "Bruce, cmon. Don't cry. I promise I'm not mad at you, okay? I just-- I got in a bad mood and it was wrong of me to take it out on you. I'm sorry, okay? You did great, Bruce!" Tim smiles at him.

Bruce hears himself sniffle. *God*. He can't believe he's crying. Tim's eyes widen in a panic. "Hey, hey, cmon! No more tears, big guy! I'll ask Alfred to whip up some of your favorites, how about it? And if he can't do it then we can always just order out, right? What do you want, Bruce?" Tim hits the autodrive and wraps his arms around him.

He cannot believe he's crying in a teenager's arms right now.

"We'll be home in a bit, and you did a great job, I promise. I'm not mad at you, in fact! I'm proud!" Something feels lighter in Bruce's chest. He squishes it down.

Tim takes off Bruce's cowl and strokes his hair. "Repeat after me, I did good. Say it Bruce."

"...I did good." Bruce grumbles, leaning into Tim's touch.

Tim smiles at him teasingly. "Didn't hear you, B. Say it louder."

Bruce frowns. "I did good." He says firmly.

"Good job, B!" Tim laughs.

The batmobile slows to a stop in the cave. "Oh look, we're home." Tim remarks casually, as if he didn't have an armful of a teary grown-up. "Let's go, Bruce. You go wash up while I update the logs."

Bruce nods.

Tim walks off to the computer, and for the first time in a long while, Bruce feels small and happy again.

Fuck. I love how this highlights that Tim wouldn't be a perfect father, especially considering some of his "bad" habits or behaviors. He'd try and he'd correct, but, like all parents, he's bound to mess up every once in awhile. It happens. The best part is that Tim corrects his behavior, admits fault, and tries to make up for it.

Good parenting, Tim! (genuine)

We could add on that Tim is a teenager. Emotions are heightened because puberty is a fucking asshole. So, he may occasionally take his frustrations out on Bruce (in this AU). He may suddenly burst into tears, worrying Bruce, or feel the intense need to scream.

He's not gonna be the best fantastic dad (especially since he really shouldn't be parenting an adult as he's a teen), but he's gonna try.

It'd also be cool to see Tim, in learning to gentle parent, eventually gentle parenting himself and teaching Bruce to utilize the same methods with his kids (also, I can go on a full fucking rant on how it shouldn't be named "gentle parenting" cause it's really "paying forward parenting," but I'm not gonna).

Anyways, the scene you wrote was really sweet and I very much enjoyed it

[unhingedexperimenter]

(You can tag me on my tgs side blog. I also apologize but I know a few Scottish words. So to anyone reading this I apologize for the inaccuracy.) Becky Boxleitner noticed a change in the atmosphere as she and her pet monkey Bob walked into the sixth grade classroom. All of the students were excitedly chatting with one another. Becky and Bob exchanged confused looks at the scene. 'What is going on?' They both thought. Becky walked to where her friends Violet Heaslip, Rose Franklin, and Todd Scoops Ming were sitting, also joining in the excited yet low volume chattering. "Hey guys what's going on?" Becky asked her friends. They each turned their heads to greet their friend. "Hey Becky guess what, we're getting a new teacher for our class!" Scoops exclaimed. Becky looked surprised at the announcement. Bob also mimicked her facial expression. "Wait really? What happened to Miss Davis?" Becky asked, wondering what happened to their old teacher. It was just a week only into the new school year so a sudden teacher exchange was a complete shock to Becky especially since there were no announcements about it beforehand. "Miss Davis had to move back home because of a family emergency." Rose Franklin answered. "The principal had to scramble to find a new teacher to fill in for our class. It was all last minute stuff." Becky nodded in understanding of her friends' answers. It was a nice perk to be friends who were upcoming reporters. Soon the final bell rang which indicated for every student to take their seats. Becky took her place beside her best friend Violet and Bob plopped down next to her. Soon a man who looked to be in his mid 30s walked in and towards the desk. He had curly brown air, an arched nose, and reddish brown eyes. He wore a tan button-down shirt with a red vest as well as brown slacks and dark suede shoes. The man gave a pleasant and warm smile to all the students there. "Hello my name is Dr. Henry Jekyll and I will be your teacher for the school year." Becky and the other kids ears perked up as they took note of the man's accent. Even Tobey became slightly interested in his new teacher. None of them were sure where their new teacher was from. Dr. Jekyll gave a light chuckle as if he could sense their growing curiosity about him. He lightly clapped his hands together to gain their undivided attention and focus. "Well since this is my first time teaching here, why don't we all play a little game so we can all get better acquainted with each other. Here's what to do. One at a time, say your name and share a wee bit about yourself. Likes, family, interests and all that. I'll go first to show ya what ah mean. Again. My name is Dr. Henry Jekyll. I was born in Glasgow but ah moved to London where I attended university. I have a five year old wee lassie or daughter named Amber. I enjoy chemistry and reading on occasions. Now who would like to go next?" @unhingedexperimenter

Of course Tobey had taken the opportunity to place attention on himself and to have a reason to boast about himself. “My name is Tobey McCallister the third and I will be the most intelligent student you'll meet here.” The others had rolled their eyes, used to this kind of behavior from their peers. Becky seemed to be the most annoyed by it. Having been forced to put up with his destructive tantrums in the past. Henry smiled just as warmly as before. Unbothered by the obnoxious behavior that the boy had been displaying. Tobey had been going on about himself for a good few minutes before the teacher finally spoke up. “Ahem, yes. Thank you for that Mr. McCallister. Would anyone else like to tell me a bit about themselves as well?” No one could tell that behind the facade, Dr. Henry Jekyll was becoming more irritated by the moment. Not by the child but by the pest that refused to leave him be. Scoffing within his head at what they just heard. He didn't share the disembodied voice's opinion but wanted to give the other children a chance to introduce themselves as well. To the others' shock, Tobey seemed to have taken this well. Quickly going back to his desk with no issues. Becky was relieved at that. Soon the other children had started to introduce themselves to their new teacher with little to no issues. He seemed genuinely nice enough to her. This new teacher didn't seem like most of the adults within this city. Some she had to define words repeatedly for. Dr. Jekyll knew what he was teaching and knew his vocabulary. It was Violet who had brought Becky out from her own thoughts, calling her name. Waving a hand in front of her face. “Becky?” The girl smiled in an embarrassed manner. “Huh? Yes?” Violet smiled, patient with her best friend. “Why don't you introduce yourself now? Nearly everybody else already did.” She had given a surprised expression. Becky hadn't realized that she was so lost within her thoughts until then. She stood up and began speaking. “My name is Becky Boxleitner and I also like libraries,reading and Pretty Princess.” The presence that was grating at the teacher's nerves had deemed this too dull to enjoy. Leaving Dr. Jekyll be to his teaching. Well, getting to know his students. He was happy to see that they were engaged in these activities that were meant to break the ice. Though one student in particular had caught his attention the most. Becky. While she did seem rather bright, there was something strange about her behavior at times. Pausing whatever she was doing at the time to listen in on something. Thinking it went unnoticed. Even once looking alarmed and she made an excuse to go to the bathroom. He had allowed it. Feeling that it would've been better to have let her. It seemed…oddly familiar. As if he had seen that behavior somewhere before but couldn't figure out exactly where from. When the school day was finally over, Becky had gone to go home like the others. Dr. Jekyll had of course stayed behind to set more things up within his new classroom. Making a plan on exactly what he'll actually start teaching the next day. Though, the grating voice had returned to be a thorn in his side. “Come on. Leave this boring stuff alone. Leave it until tomorrow. I've been pent up for far too long. Let's have some fun.” This had earned an eye roll and a loud huff from the teacher. “No, I've got to get this done now. You will have enough time tonight. Just be patient until then.” A shadowy figure formed in front of Dr. Jekyll. A frown on its face. “But this is so extremely dull. I want to stretch my legs. I want to make myself known already.” Dr. Jekyll glared. “And that is precisely why I'm so hesitant to let you out so soon. At least let us get acclimated to our surroundings first.” The figure let out an annoyed groan. “You know you want this as much as I do. Otherwise you'd never have any actual fun in the sad and pathetic life you call yours.”

@thecountoflondonfansite

[gelakaien]

I disagree when people say there is no romantic subtext in itafushi because, I do think there is. I also disagree when people say there is too little [of romance] to base itafushi on it because that's really not true.

It starts with Megumi saying his type is someone with an unwavering humanity. Which is the very literal meaning of Yuuji's name. It slowly develops from there.

I also don't like how people say itafushi is one sided. IT'S NOT. He cares too much. Fushiguro is always the first one he notices in any room he's in. Even in the time he was hiding his death, he would mention Fushiguro now and then. Fushiguro just doesn't leave his mind, never did. He thinks he's very reliable, he SPECIFICALLY told Sukuna to not say anything to HIM about the fingers-resonance thing in the aftermath of the bridge fight. And the scene at the lake, where Megumi told Yuuji he'd kill him if he died, he defintely took it in a serious way, not just because he said "I better not die then" right after, but like, he even referenced that to Megumi in Shibuya. As a way of reasurance. As a way to say "I won't die on you, I will come back to you." Also thanks Mappa for making this even more gayer with the finger guns thing.

Hell, he even knows Megumi's favorite popcorn flavor and he teached him how to make meatballs. They barely knew each other for a few weeks??? And he was so overly excited to learn he'd be his closest roommate. Sure, you can say he's joyful with anyone and he is indeed, but towards Megumi, it's so much more intense. And yeeessss that could be because they are best friends alright but you can't deny it can work both ways, can you?

Since I touched in the best friends topic, I will quickly say how much it bothers me people refuse to ship two guys because they are two guys the same holds true when it's two girls but I'm mostly talking about a m/m ship. I saw someone yesterday talking about itakugi being endgame and like, sure there was some disapproval, but not as aggressive as it would be if it was an Itafushi post. Because when it's about itafushi, they easily jump on you saying "ThEY arE bEST FrIeNDds, CaN't tWo gUyS bE fRIeNDs anyMoRE??!?!? tHIs is jUst fRIendSHiP sTOpInG mAkInG iT gAy/wOkE!" well, it's funny because these exact people would immediately ship a guy and a gal even though there's so much little going on between them (take Ozawa as an example, sure she is cute and all but people saying they have more chemistry than itafushi is just... lack of literacy, like wtf???? how come a girl that appeared in ONE chapter and then NEVER AGAIN god knows if she is still alive - possible have more chemistry than two guys who went through good and bad shit together since chap 1?). But if it's a m/m, then it's a immediate no-no...? This is not about chemistry, friendship or whatever, there is a very clear name to this, the instict to immediately shut down the idea of two guys or girls together in a romantic way. You know very well what is called, don't you?

Anyway, back to Itafushi.

In the whole Shinjuku fight he's been thinking about Megumi, he went through possible ideas and plans TO SAVE Megumi. He's willing to become Sukuna's host AGAIN to save Megumi. Of course they (including Yuuji) need to defeat Sukuna, stop the Merge and save the world blah blah blah, but until so far, the core of his actions is moved by one objective: to save Megumi.

In post Shibuya he felt so conflicted about whether or not he had the right to live, and when Megumi asked Yuuji to save him, Yuuji's eyes shined again with life. They were devoid of any light until then.

Megumi means so much, so much to Yuuji, he treasures him too much. Way too much!! He would feel lonely without him.

And I don't care the way the translators chose to word this, we can safely assume that to Yuuji, Megumi's absence means loneliness. He would feel a void in his heart (I, the person writting this, am telling this in a romantic way, but you can assume that as platonically too if you like) without him. Megumi MATTERS to Yuuji, and Yuuji MATTERS to Megumi. Hell, Megumi even puts him in the same level of importance as Tsumiki, his sister, the only family he had the whole life. I'm not even gonna dive into the topic of "megumi wanted yuji to marry tsumiki" bc i think that is pure nonsense. plus she's dead. meaning they would never marry anyway.

In conclusion I think there is a lot of room for romance to flourish between these two, it might not be now, it might not be the objective of the whole work (because in the end it's a shonen, so yeah), but it's defintely not weird to think about. Love is a central theme since JJK 0.

Unfortunately people on twitter are mega stupid and I had the unpleasure to see a lot of hate towards itafushi because we apparently are in the wrong for thinking about two guys kissing no matter how much gay chap 266 was. And apparently we are in the wrong for taking Megumi and Yuuji's exchanged to a romantic level even though that shit was gay af (i personally don't talk like that to my best friends but okaaay whatever right) Which prompted me to come to another space (hopefully away from those ppl) to deposit my thoughts.

[gardenofnoah]

the last part of all the times i told you. i am still ~not here~ but i started writing this ages ago and am ready to put this sweet little series to rest. talk soon love u

to watch you flit around the room makes his fingers ache. katsuki has no idea how many times you've gone back and forth between floors and from inside to back out, but to watch you makes him tired. for the first time in his life, all he wants is stillness. he wants you on this couch with him.

“c’mere.”

it's less of a command and more of a warning that comes too late, his mouth moving only after he's reached an arm out to catch you as you passed by his spot on the couch.

he pulls you until your back is pressed against his chest. you huff, squirming a little, and he doesn’t let up an inch. refuses to, now that he's got you where you should've been all afternoon.

“take your shirt off,” he mutters into the nape of your neck.

“what? it's been a long day, kat—“

“i’m not fucking you,” he groans, pressing his forehead into your warmth, “just... wanna feel you.”

he feels you go soft at his admission. you tap at his forearm to get him to let you up, and he's reluctant to but he does, electing to keep one arm around your waist as you sit up and pull the material over your head. his eyes follow the movement of it, committing the shape of you to memory like it could be ripped from him in the next second. you settle back down, facing him this time. he pulls you until there's not an inch between his chest and yours. he feels your heart kick against his own.

“missed you today.” years ago Katsuki would've rather died than admit something so vulnerable out loud, but things change. he takes a deep breath in at your hairline, soaking tissue deep in you and all that you've done today. he likes you best like this—soft, maybe a little sweaty. alive and in love.

“yeah?”

“mm.”

your lips quirk up softly, and you reach to trace the outline of his collar bone with the pads of your fingers. he cracks an eye open, glaring at you without an ounce of heat just to hear you giggle at his petulance. you tilt your head up to press a kiss to his jaw, and he feels like he's won something.

“i miss you all the time, kat.”

“maybe i want to hear it.”

“do you?”

“from you? no fuckin' way.”

you snort and roll your eyes. tucked under his chin, you don't see the smile that tugs at the corner of his mouth, always thrilled at the way his brashness doesn’t phase you. he leans forward to press it into the crown of your head. sometimes he feels so lucky it makes him a little queasy.

“i miss you all the time,” you say again. quieter, with a little more weight to it.

and he knows—he knows you do, because he does too. that feeling sits like a rock in his chest—it's there every time he wakes up too early and has to rip himself from the bed you share, all to make sure someone else can roll over to their love in the morning and not let go too soon.

it felt selfless, in the beginning. the right thing to do, a call that he answered willing. now it only hurts.

he smooths a palm up the curve of your spine to rest at the nape of your neck, and you press closer to him. sometimes he can’t believe you still do. he’s left so many times and missed so many things and somehow you still let him cling to you like it doesn’t shred your insides every time he pulls away. he thinks about how brave you’ve been—about how all the times he’s been praised for his strength or his commitment to peace, he'd deserved only a fraction of it compared to you.

he doesn’t want you to have to be brave anymore. if he’s honest with himself, he’s not sure he wants to be brave anymore, either.

“…asked Aizawa if there were any openings at the school.”

your fingers pause over his heart, and he thinks he can hear the gears in your brain turning. you lean back to look at him and he can’t read the expression on your face.

“why did you do that?”

“well if anymore of those old bastards quit those brats will be fuckin’ teaching themselves—”

“no,” you tap his chest with your fingertip to shut him up and he has to fight to suppress the smile, “no. why did you do that?”

he sighs softly, sliding his thumb down the length of your neck.

“don’t want to leave you anymore.”

“...oh,” you breathe, blinking at him like you’re still trying to catch up. he gives you time—pressing into the sides of your neck to try to will away the tension that still hasn’t left. thinking about the dimly lit moments he'll spend tracing the slope of it, just because he can—because he'll have them, now.

“you want to teach?”

“i want to come home to you in one piece,” he says, with more honesty than he thinks he's ever been capable of, “but hangin’ out with those brats shouldn’t be too bad either.”

you snort. “you think Aizawa felt that way when he taught you?”

“fuck off,” he says through a grin, “i was a damn great student.”

you smile and shake your head, and then you go quiet.

“i don’t want you to do this for me,” you whisper, like you don’t fully believe what you’re saying but think you should say it anyway. it makes him ache—it’s just like you to sacrifice for him, even now.

“not for you,” he murmurs just as gently, leaning forward to tap his forehead to yours. “because of you, a little bit, but i—“ he pauses, inhaling deeply and trying to be brave. “i want to be around. don’t like missin’ out on so much.”

and that is the truth. Katsuki thinks about the way you shuffle over the creaks in the old wooden steps every morning and he regrets that he’s not there to greet you at the bottom of them when you do. he hates the way you make breakfast alone, the way you sit at the dock without him. the way your families visit the house you bought together and he’s never in it to see them. he doesn’t know what it would be like to lean into that domesticity—into intimacy without urgency, without the tick of a clock that neither of you can see but are painfully aware of—but at this point in his life, he desperately wants to learn.

you let out a shaky exhale, wiggling closer to him. he lets you hide your face in his neck, arms coming around your back to keep you there. he thinks of how many times this has been reversed—of how many times his mind has run away from him and the only tether has been the weight of your arms around him.

“what’s the world going to do without Dynamight?”

he snorts. “they can start thanking him for beating some brains into their little shit gremlins.”

he feels your smile against his skin and it warms him. it’s another truth—and really, he does want to teach. he wants another reality for the next generation—one where they’re kept safe as long as possible. where they learn to be heroes the right way—the long way.

“love you.”

he feels it more than he hears it, rumbling from your chest to his. he pulls you closer still, leaning down to press his lips to the curve of your bare shoulder. he closes his eyes and breathes you in again.

“i love you, angel.”