#because this guy was explaining intro level management

[lambcow]

PSA: The only job where the recruiter texts you 5 times to set up a convenient interview time for the job because you didn't respond to them is a job where the purpose is to recruit more people to that job. AKA a MLM job. AKA a pyramid scheme. AKA it's a scam and not worth your time.

[bushfulofbirds]

2/

God forbid the story actually utilises the one bit of lore it manages to introduce in a solid way within the span of that intro. Nobody is trying to make you buy jack shit

The intro: "Hey this is a resource that humans use to fight monsters and has been a literal foundation that allowed them to establish their societies. This is the villain trying to remove this powerful resource from people by force". Hbomb: "OK but why is this at all important tho"

This section is frustrating to watch lmfao

This lack of (clearly displayed) payoff on the dust robberies in v1-2 is something that's also been brought up in the This Is Basically RW,BY video but does hold merit. However what is the point of the leadup to this point being as convoluted as it was.

OK if you claim that they changed this part of the plot... where's your backup my dude. You speak of mis-utilised and limited setups for 10 minutes straight and proceed to immediately create one yourself 😭

He's also fully ignoring the dialogue so far

"I used a cool technical terms to make this commentary look more solid"

No-one is watching the intro and going "dust! Sold!" Because as you so disappointedly mentioned just a moment ago the next scene sets up more stakes around dust and "sell" that to the viewer

"This wasn't explained in a lore dump straight away therefore it's bad"

"The basic premises, target demographics and experience levels of different writers who got to work in different levels of formality will now be completely ignored for an arbitrary comparison that I will use to put ATLA on a pedestal to automatically communicate that other approaches to worldbuilding are bad by default"

Bro literally calls any audience member of a fictional premise a "fucking idiot" jokingly or not that tells me a lot about how this guy perceives audiences at large (inc this video essay)

I know for a fact that if not for Pyrrha's exposition dump existing the crit here would just extend from EXPLANATION BAD to say there's no explanation or grounding for what Ren is doing in that fight

*Twists Pyrrha's background as a character from trained combat athlete to regular ordinary magical teenager who magically knows her shit*

So Jaune not already knowing any combat skills whatsoever and being put in a position where he has to take the bad path to get to where he aspires to be (and in turn being forced to train and work harder to catch up) is inherently bad? Sure, having his and Pyrrha's Emerald Forest interactions be about the exposure is pretty on-the-nose (though definitely not a unique issue). I think that if we wanna really stretch this out we can even say that actually in REALITY not everyone grows up knowing much about their family histories or disconnected from their heritages etc. for a myriad of reasons. So I guess to me it never really seemed far-fetched that he wouldn't necessarily know much besides "I come from a lineage of warriors." So sure, they could have made it more explicit that he was kept away from a lot of that as per the Harry Potter comparison, but that doesn't necessarily boil down to such a terrible and nonsensical thing, either.

Sure, they use Jaune as a vehicle for exposition in v1 a lot. I think that arguably it also tells a lot about Weiss' character rather than forcing her to "pause" being one (hyper-researches her competition to stick with the high profile student and plan her way through school that way). Again this really skips over the part actually showcasing this, which is just very selective and doesn't give the full picture and context of the scene.

"Pyrrha helping Jaune in the Emerald Forest and offering to train him automatically equals trading her characterisation for exposition." Early season Pyrrha and removing her Autonomy in favour of helping Jaune progress through the plot is another argument, though, and I think that putting them together like that is probably not the best approach.

"Jaune is a self-insert and an excuse from Miles to hog screentime away from the plot"

Dude why use a complete other person speaking to somehow justify Miles wanting to hook his "self-insert" with Pyrrha

"Why do semblances exist" because it's a cool and interesting dynamic to work with from an action perspective maybe. For someone claiming that the whole series is based on that it seems interesting to not touch on that tie at all. Criticising the worldbuilding around it is fine and all but honestly there's no harm done in their actual existence

"I'm not trying to be mean but I'm also going to tear this to shreds right here right now for two hours"

I think that one of the bigger writing fumbles in RW,BY is literally Weiss' "no such thing as magic" line. Like yeah Raven turning into a bird is absurd even by general RW,BY power limitations, having the story of the maiden powers be as is something that feels very hard to believe within the concept of the world (whaddaya mean old man Oz gave these girls a special power lineage?) I just think it's down to poor phrasing.

"Everyone knows the name of [Pyrrha's] ability" ok who is this everyone outside of Ruby, Weiss and the baddies who have some extra planning and access points to the whole picture

OK but as soon as people cut to some exposition dialogue mid-fight then it removes the pacing of the fight itself. Monty's style is not like that and as soon as this was done in Volumes 4 and 5 it only led to more people complaining and dropping the show entirely (hell you just complained about it being done in Yang vs Adam).

Ah there we go 50 minutes in we get to the first genuine bottom line statement of "RW,BY suffers from mismanaged story beats which mean a lack of investment and exposition in critical early points that are compensated for too late down the line."

I honestly think that "if you don't feed me everything explicitly off the bat then this is automatically unwatchable and confusing" is also not a healthy approach? Sometimes abstracting things doesn't work but it also doesn't mean that everything needs to be verbalised to you for it to be considered "good." It's about when and how it's done, and how it can really affect your storytelling if done wrong. I think that's what he's trying to get at but the way he does it comes off much more as it needing that spoon feeding to work.

Sure WoR isn't really the most engaging lore companion but shouldn't the whole reasoning given in the video for WHY it's the way it is be seen as like. A good sign?

Whyyyy is this video written like this

Has this guy never seen recap episodes be scattered between main episodes before? It's not ideal or fun but it's also not unique and I wish that was something that was also acknowledged (but hey that way you get less of an excuse to rap about it)

Congrats you struggled to grasp the concept from the main show alone your experiences are not universal

"When they did this implicitly it was great but once they actually elaborated on them in the classroom setting it's BAD and STINKY" (the last 30mins have been a back and forth on this guy's convoluted explanation of good vs bad worldbuilding. Also more backtracking and rehashing.

"Monty writing good M&K writing bad and evil and stinky bleugh"

There's a lot of usages of footage of M&K goofing around or zoning out etc. to vilify them

[literally uses a commentary clip where the writers gush about Shane's usage of the action scene in a pretty coherent way to shit on their writing abilities]*

More twisting scenes into particular contexts to make them work for the argument

Very vague wording to suggest "Writers" means "Heads of the Production."

"Neptune is Kerry's creepy self-insert"

Tired RW,BY fan braves hbomb video after three years (he finally downloaded it of Internet Archive), more at 12

[hxt1b]

A Boy Like Him

Jeno x Reader

Requested Prompt 13 Pretend Girlfriend for  @deepangelchaos

Genre: Fluff, maybe a little angsty  

WC: 2.8k

Warning: Swearing, Mental Health (y/n has a panic attack)  

Masterlist 

Prompt List, for any requests anyone may have. 

There were many moments in a day you wondered 'what the fuck is my life?' Many times you'd look in the mirror and it would be hard for you to remember what your life use to be like. The past four months had been a fast blur of media, paparazzi and fake public cuddles. You weren't made for this shit but somehow you literally drew the short stick. 

"You want us to what?" Aera asked looking at your manager shocked. You could tell your best friend was not pleased by what you'd just been told. Sena also grumbled from your left. 

"It's only a year." He said looking at the three of you expectantly, "only one of you has to do it and its exposure. Come on." He wasn't selling it very well. You sighed. 

"Why us?" Sena asked. 

"I don't know they just asked us." He replied. 

"Why now?" Aera asked. Your manager shrugged again. 

"Look it'll be good for your YouTube careers, that's a lot of people who will want to know who you are and they'll watch you. A lot of new fans!" He said. 

"A lot of fucking hate too." You said glaring at him. 

"Good comes with the bad." He said. You sighed weighing his options. 

"Just think about it." 

So the three of you thought about it, in the end, he was right. You could steadily grow your YouTube channel, you already were, but this would make it a lot faster, and it couldn't really hurt could it?

"Are you ready?" Jeno asked snapping you out of your thoughts. You nodded closing your laptop lid and standing up. 

Sena fluttered out of the other room, her energy high not matched by anyone else in the room. Aera followed her hands tucked into her pocket. One glance towards Jeno and she had a scowl growing on her face.  

You laughed awkwardly getting in between her and Jeno. You realized that you were the reason for the anger directed at the boy however that didn't make the situation any less awkward in your head. 

"Let's film?" Sena said clapping her hands. Jeno nodded not saying anything and let you and your friends lead the way to your filming studio. 

You watched as Jeno walked up to the two seats set up for you both and sat down next to you. Sena slipped behind the camera, and Aera took a seat next to a table with a laptop on it off-camera. 

"Okay rolling in 3, 2…" Sena pointed at you. 

"Hello, my dudes." You started clapping lightly getting the attention of every mic in the room and the viewers. You launched straight into a short intro. "Welcome back to our channel. Everyone has been asking for this video a lot so here we are today, as you can probably tell from the title of the video we're doing the boyfriend tag." You looked over at Jeno a smile on your face, he smiled back at you his eyes disappearing. 

Your stomach turned, that fluttery feeling that you'd rarely ever felt. And your awkward smile fell to a much more relaxed one as you looked at him continuing to speak to the camera. It was sad though, and you knew it, your crush on him. 

"This is fake you know what right?" He clarified the day you met. You nodded quickly irritated in your head, you'd read the damn contract. 

"Good okay we're supposed to 'hang out' together for a couple of hours and make sure that we get spotted by the paparazzi." You nodded as he explained that he was going to walk around with you for a few minutes and then you'd be coming back to his dorm to sit around. Little did you know that after your very very short walk around the park that when you'd get back she would be here. 

So there you were stuck in NCT dreams dorm while your fake boyfriend didn't even want to get to know you on a basic human level. 

He told you to watch TV while he went into his room with his actual girlfriend. Lucky for you Chenle came into the living room only seconds later. The younger boy didn't say anything just sat down next to you and watched the anime you'd put on. 

"He's not a bad person." He randomly said you just nodded not knowing what he was saying."I mean you know why the company made the contract right?" Chenle asked. 

"How did you two meet?" Aera asked. Her voice flat. You glanced over at her keeping the smile on your face. 

"Well," You started. 

"At the park." Jeno cut you off, adjusting in his seat. "I was on a bike ride. These three were at the park taking photo's they asked me to take a photo. I thought they meant with me but they meant of them, it was awkward." He chuckled and you also laughed lightly. That had happened. The first time he met your friends you'd all gone to the park, Sena had asked for a picture. 

"He's grumpy today." You sighed as the three of you sat on the bench overlooking the green field after taking the pictures. 

"He seems to always be fucking grumpy," Aera said rolling her eyes. 

"I mean cut him some slack his girlfriend did leave him," Sena said. Aera snickered. 

"She was a bitch and everyone knew it. His friend knew it the company knew it. That's why this contract exists in the first place because if word had gotten out that he was dating her his reputation would have plummeted so they looked for someone that would make him look good." Aera sneered in the direction of Jeno, he was on the phone talking to Jaemin. "When she was done with him she left." 

After that Aera never warmed up to him. 

In all honesty, you regretted telling your friends. Aera was too quick to judgement, Sena was kinder sometimes too kind. You needed a good medium, someone who would complain but not hate, but they were what you had and together you got the balance, but there were moments where you didn't. 

You stared at Jeno as Aera and Sena began to debate how he should react and how he should handle it, but you'd been there when she'd left him. You were on the couch with Chenle watching your fifth anime together in the three weeks that you'd been coming over. 

Jeno had cried. She was bad for him, but he'd loved her. 

The questions continued, and the two of you continued to tell half-truths, stories you'd both been told to create. You didn't flinch outwardly when Jeno pulled your chair closer to his pulling you into his side, and you tried your best to keep calm when his arm circled your waist. It's just for the camera you told yourself. 

"Now for the fan questions," Aera said, turning the laptop towards you two. You turned your head squinting at the screen. 

"Can you bring it closer?" Jeno asked for you. Aera moved the table in front of you and set up the laptop. 

"Press play." You leaned forwards and did as you were told. A video played on the screen, a clip of an anime. A boy was walking holding two popsicles, he sat on a bench next to a girl and passed her both the treats. 

"They're both mine?" She asked looking over at the boy shocked. He just nodded. 

"You like both flavours right?" He asked as he grew embarrassed. She smiled up at him in the cute anime fashion. 

The clip ended and cut to a paparazzi video of you on a bench, Jeno sitting next to you as you held two popsicles, his arms were crossed over his chest as he looked away from you. You looking at him in amazement much like the girl from the anime. 

"The question that was asked was, 'did you intend to re-create an anime or are you guys just that damn adorable?" Your cheeks flushed as you stared at the laptop. Jeno next to you was also frozen. 

"I guess we're just that damn adorable." He quietly replied. You looked up at him and giggled lightly. He was smiling at you again, you were afraid the butterflies in your stomach were going to kill you. You looked away from him quickly. 

"I don't think we've even seen that anime." You added to his answer. 

"Why can't I have a guy like that." You whined to Chenle as the two of you watched a cute anime couple stand in the middle of a crowded plaza, his hand in her hair as he ruffled it. He'd just told her that he knew her after she accused him of not knowing a single thing about her. He'd proved that he in fact did by handing the character her favourite flower, a rare type of lily. 

"I thought you didn't like romance anime?" Chenle teased. You threw your pillow at him. 

"Shut up." Chenle laughed loudly at your reaction making you laugh. 

You jumped when Jeno walked into the living room scaring you. 

"Want to go for a walk?" He asked. You nodded. 

"Sure." 

You'd ended up at the park as the sun set. 

"Wait here." He'd said motioning for you to sit on the bench, confused you'd sat down as he ran off. He'd come back minutes later with the two popsicles. Handing you them both. 

"Strawberry and Lime." He said, "I know you like both the flavours and I know you have a sweet tooth." 

"Not going to lie, kinda creepy that someone took a video of you two like that," Sena said turning the camera off after you'd closed off the video. 

"It was a paparazzi." You said getting up from the chair. 

"Just gotta go to the bathroom." You added and quickly left the room. Sitting that close to him was always hard for you. That popsicle incident was a month after he'd gotten dumped, he'd hung out with you a little bit more before the day at the park and your interactions had only grown after that but they were all friendly not enough to call you guys good friends though. 

You turned the faucet on letting the water cool your sweating hands. Your heart was racing and you couldn't calm the damn butterflies, your head replaying the way he pulled your chair to him, flashing you the memories of him giving you the cold treats. 

"It's fake." Aera's voice said in your head. 

"It's fake." You muttered to yourself.  

After drying your hands you pulled the door open and jumped when you almost bumped into Jeno. He was leaning on the wall right next to the bathroom. 

"Are you waiting for the bathroom?" You asked, he shook his head, his hand reaching out and grabbing your sleeve. He fiddled with the thumb hole of your hoodie, the butterflies you'd been trying to stomp out coming back. 

"I was waiting for you, it's really awkward being in a room with Aera she keeps on giving me a death glare." You laughed, bringing his eyes up to yours. 

"Y/N," He started his voice quiet. 

"Y/N!" Sena yelled running out and barrelling towards you a huge smile on her face. 

"WE JUST HIT A MILLION SUBSCRIBERS." 

"WE DID?" You asked your hand flying to your friend forcing Jeno to let go of your sleeve. 

"HELL YEAH WE DID," Aera said running into the hallway as well, as Sena pulled you in for a hug. Aera slamming into the both of you not even a second later. 

—

You typically never paid attention to the hate, but as your numbers grew so did the rude and obnoxious comments. 

"You're not watching," Chenle whined as you scrolled on your phone. 

"Sorry." You mumbled as you tossed the phone onto the couch, your eyes caught Jeno's as you turned back to the TV. He'd started watching with you a couple of weeks ago. 

 You didn't keep your gaze with his long, just turned to the screen. But you couldn't watch, your brain was reeling with the hate. It was like they forgot you were a human being. Some people would act like you having other friends was a crime. There was a portion of the internet rioting over a photo of you and Jaemin. 

Renjun had wanted the boys to go get lunch together at a restaurant, complaining about being stuck inside all the time. No one had the heart to say no, not even you. 

The picture was taken as you all exited the place, Jaemin had grabbed the back of your shirt as you'd tripped, but it looked odd. The next photo was of him pulling you into him. 

That was a week ago the two of you were being called all sorts of names. Chenle had told you to ignore it, that it will blow over, but it was easier said than done. Not being able to focus as your eyes blurred you excused yourself to the bathroom. 

Taking your phone with you. Your hands shook as you locked the bathroom and sank to the floor, you were determined to not cry over the hate but it was starting to feel like you couldn't breathe.

You scrolled through your contacts and called your friends, neither answered. Their phones off. You knew they'd gone to see a movie today, but you'd hoped that maybe their phones wouldn't be off. 

You went to the sink and turned on the water, watching the cold water swirl into the drain as you tried to calm your breathing, it wasn't working. 

A knock on the bathroom door startled you. 

"Y/N" It was Jeno. "Are you okay?" He asked. 

You looked at yourself in the mirror, your eyes were red with unshed tears and you looked frazzled. 

"Y-yeah." You replied your voice shaking slightly. 

"Can I come in?" He asked. You froze for a second before turning off the faucet and unlocking the door letting him know he could come in. 

He opened the door slowly as he came into the bathroom. He looked at you for a second before his arms came around you pulling you into his chest. You began to cry, as he shushed you. He didn't say anything further, just held you until you calmed down. 

An hour later you were sat on his bed Jeno next to you as he told you about his favourite anime that he wanted you and Chenle to watch with him. You nodded as he spoke taking in every word that came out of his perfect mouth. 

You couldn't help but want to kiss him as his enthusiasm about the anime grew. His eyes were shining. You hadn't seen Jeno like this, and it wasn't helping with your feelings. Your heart was doing summersaults, he stopped talking as you stared at him. 

"Are you listening to me?" He asked snapping you out of your daze. 

"Of course." You replied crossing your legs on his bed as he moved closer to you. 

"Are you sure?" He asked, and you laughed awkwardly, "what did I just say?"  

"Are you sure?" You answered smartly, a teasing tone as you smiled at him. He narrowed his eyes at you, his lips pouting. 

You opened your mouth to say something, but the words flew out of your brain as Jeno pressed his lips against yours, his hand snaking around the side of your face as he pulled you to him. 

Shocked you pulled back, looking at him; eyes wide. 

"Sorry, I shouldn't have done that." He said moving back from you. Your brain was in overdrive, so many thoughts flooded in as you stared at him. He was moving away from you. 

You ignored everything in your head and grabbed his wrist. 

"Don't apologize." You said and pulled him back to you, moving your lips to his again, you kissed him slowly taking in the way he felt against you. The way he still tasted like the chocolate he'd just eaten, and given you half of. 

You breathed heavily when he pulled away from you again. 

"Fuck." Was the only word that left his mouth as he stared at you before grabbing you again. 

The next day he texted you asking you to go to the park with him, you met him at the bench he'd given you the popsicles at. He was smiling at you as he approached you, his hand tucked behind his back. 

He came to a stop in front of you, and you looked up at him a curious expression on his face. 

"I got you something." He said and moved his hand towards you. A Levi pop animation bobblehead in his hand. 

"It's your favourite anime right?" You looked up at him shocked and nodded. 

"I knew it." 

[hasspartacusdoneanythingwrong]

Introductions! (Again)

Okay, now that we're doing explicitly out of character stuff on this blog, time for proper intros for all of us. This is going to be a lil lengthy, so we're putting it under a cut.

Cat

Species: Fox

Age: 300

Pronouns: She/her

Cat's definitely the funloving one here. Food, alcohol, cuddling, basically her jam. She also has disturbingly good luck and has the second most malleable thoughtform out of all of us. I'm pretty sure she literally can't remember bad stuff, which would explain a lot.

Kris

Species: ??? (fey? maybe?)

Age: ???

Pronouns: Not yours

As for me, I was our childhood anger issues, then I spent time in nonexistence jail till I popped out again, leeched some parts off of the Entity Futurely Known As Cat, and became this thing after a while. Don't worry if you didn't follow any of that, I don't get it either.

I have difficulty recalling good memories, but I use sarcasm and an excessive love of tropes to dull the pain.

Jeanne

(Outdated Model: Picture to be replaced if we ever get around to it)

Species: Robot (Modeled after an angel)

Age: Early 30s (mentally) roughly 15-ish (literally) we're not telling you our actual age (physically)

Pronouns: She/It

Kindasorta our first and only foray into intentional headmate making to date, Jeanne was built to help us deal with our depression as a teenager. Note to anyone trying to make tulpas: don't make their entire existence around helping other people, it's not good for them. She's still trying to balance her desire to help people with being her own person, but she's definitely making progress. Shares a love for horror movies with Cat.

Victor

Species: Frog (Or maybe a toad? idk how to check and it's not like he can tell me)

Age: mute (tho literally he's almost 2 years old by this point)

Pronouns: He/They

Victor was an interesting case. On day Cat starting carrying around a stuffed frog in our headspace. At this point Jeanne was still in her "freaking the fuck out about our plurality" phase, so she started freaking the fuck out over the possibility that it would turn into a headmate. Then it turned into a headmate. He doesn't talk much, mostly because saying anything in English for more than a sentence at a time gives him a headache. He can manage Toki Pona just fine, but it took us months to find out that exists. tbh he's the chillest one here, I'd be flipping tables if I couldn't speak for a couple months.

😭Calamity

Species: God

Pronouns: She/Her

Age: Literally incalculable

Long story short, we tried making a Fate OC that wasn't a self insert, and now she's a self insert. She's usually the most level-headed one of us here, though she does have her moments. Also, she hates the cold with a passion. We're learning Nahuatl to help her be more comfortable in our skin, though it's slow going.

Sitna

<picture to be added>

Species: Demon

Pronouns: He/Him

Age: teens? ish?

Y'know how I said I used to be our anger issues? Say hello to the current title champion. Despite that introduction, he's actually a pretty nice guy, in a toxic masculinity "I must be strong at all times" kind of way.

Mara

<picture to be added>

Species: Demon

Pronouns: Changes, mostly She/Her

Age: ???

Yes, that Mara. The Kama one. Also Sitna's sister, somehow. Loves tempting people into ruin and all that jazz, which is why we don't let her front that often. Jeanne falls for her wiles pretty often though.

[quillsandtypos]

Ours Stars Collided- Part 2

Summary: As our reader, a musically gifted high school junior, navigates life she realizes not everything goes as planned. She didn't plan on getting close with Julie's band. But not any band, her band is made up of ghosts. But is the afterlife enough to keep her feelings in check towards the main guitarist?

Words: 3.8k

Pairing: luke patterson x reader

Warnings: none

...........................................

“Hey, you ready?” you asked.

“Yeah, just let me grab my stuff,” Julie answered.

She pulled the emoji covered backpack out of her locker and shut it.

“Alright, you ready?” she questioned, as she let you lead the way.

“Yes, and no,” you said, with a nervous smile.

She placed her hand on your shoulder. “You got this, besides, you’re in good hands with Luke,” she reassured you.

“No doubt about that, it’s just a matter of whether I’ll embarrass myself or not.”

She smiled genuinely at you. “You got this, trust me.”

You held the door open for her.

“That car is yours, right?” She pointed across the parking lot.

“Yep, that’s the one.”

You unlocked it and threw your bag in the back, before getting into the drivers side.

“Alright, whatcha wanna listen to?”

Julie paused in thought before hesitantly asking, “You know who Lizzo is right?”

“Oh my god yes! You listen to her too?” you excitedly asked.

“Yes! How could you not listen to Lizzo!”

“Lizzo it is then!”

The first song was Soulmate, followed by Tempo which the two of you practically yelled, and the third song was Like a Girl. When Truth Hurts came on you both gasped and made eye contact through wide eyes.

Soon enough your sound system was blaring through the car and the two of you were belting the lyrics.

“Help you witchya career just a little,” you sang. Then you pointed to Julie to take the next part.

“You supposed to hold me down but you holding me back and that’s the sound of me not calling you back!” Julie was somewhere in between belting and yelling and still managing to sound good.

Then the both of you took the chorus. “Why men great till they gotta be great, don’t text me tell it straight to my face!

You were both animatedly pumping your fists with bright smiles as you finally rolled into her driveway.

Julie opened the studio doors to the boys all sitting there, ready to go. “Well you guys certainly look like you were having fun,” Reggie commented, smiling.

“We did,” you agreed.

“But now it means that break time is over for you guys,” Julie teased them.

Alex had already poofed over to the drums before she said anything.

“Yes ma’am!” Reggie said, getting off the couch.

Luke had a playful smile on his face. “We were the ones working on a new song, so I think that means the break is up for you,” he teased.

You couldn’t help but notice their closeness in that moment, you tried not to; but a small part of you couldn’t help but wish that was you.

Julie just rolled her eyes at him and walked to her piano to put her bag down. And just like that the moment was over.

After you and Julie had settled in and warmed up your voices and practiced a bit with your instruments, you figured you should probably figure out what you were doing.

“So do you guys want me to sing, or play, or listen?” you asked.

They all looked over at you, but Luke was the first to speak. “I can show y/n a couple of the songs with her while you guys run through Bright. Then we can see how she fits into that?” Luke brainstormed.

He held eye contact with you for a few moments before shifting to his other bandmates to gage their reactions.

“Sure! Sounds good to me,” Alex offered.

“Yeah you guys can go sit up in the loft if you want, just so you won’t be distracted by us,” Julie suggested.

“Yeah, sure, come on newbie, let’s see what you got, shall we?” He gestured to the stairs, and allowed you to go first.

“Don’t you already know what I’ve got since you technically already heard me play?” you said, as you ascended the stairs with your guitar.

“Yeah, but that one doesn’t technically count since it wasn’t in here,” he argued.

You paused and turned around, as you desperately tried to fight the smile forming on your lips. “Well technically you shouldn’t break into someone’s room and watch them play without knowing, so,” you trailed off.

“And to think I wanted you to be in the band,” he tutted, with no malice in his voice.

You couldn’t hide the grin on your face now, so you instead choose to plop down on the floor and start on your guitar.

“Alright I’m gonna show you the first couple chords that I have for Bright,” he explained as his fingers effortly slid across his guitar. You watched as he repeated it a couple times before joining him.

He looked up at you as he continued to play. “You’re a fast learner,” he commented.

“Eh, I’m just a visual learner.”

“That must help, I mean with the music school that you and Julie go to. It must be easier to learn things,” he guessed. He continued watching you play.

“Well I mean yes, I go to the same school as Julie but I’m not in the music program,” you admitted.

Luke abruptly stopped playing. “What?”

“Yeah, I wasn’t able to get in.” You were getting somewhat embarrassed.

“Seriously?” he asked in disbelief.

“Seriously,” you confirmed.

“How could they not let you in? I mean you obviously belong there,” he insisted. He sounded slightly upset about the situation.

“There are plenty of people in that school that are much better than me Luke, trust me,” you reassured him.

He leaned forward slightly which forced you to make eye contact with him. He looked quite somber but his eyes seemed to reflect a sort of light; it was as if he was looking through your soul with how intense his gaze was. “I doubt that,” he said.

You nervously swallowed and hoped he didn’t notice. “Thank you,” you uttered quietly, though it did not obstruct the feeling in your voice.

“You’re welcome.” His gaze tore away from yours. You were half relieved and half disappointed.

“So you ready to learn the rest of the song?” He said, breaking the rest of the momentary silence in the loft.

“Whenever you are.”

“Is she show ready?” Julie asked as you walked back down the steps twenty minutes later.

“I think she can manage,” you responded. You sounded more confident than you felt.

“Alright, let’s start Bright from the top. Y/n I want you to sing the chorus, pre-chorus, the second verse and then out to the end of the song, except for the bridge. Luke I’m gonna have you not sing, just for this one. And I will sing the intro, chorus, pre-chorus, the bridge, and verse one. Y/n just sing on this one, we’re not gonna add your guitar yet,” she explained.

You were glad she had a plan, so you at least knew what you were doing. You attempted to shake out your nerves a little bit and Julie gave you a thumbs up from her piano.

She started her intro and of course she sounded amazing. Luckily, you had listened to their song before so you knew when you needed to come in.

“Life is a risk but I will take it

Close my eyes and jump, together I think that we can make it

Come on let’s run”

The guys joined in with their instruments as the two of you reached the chorus. You started to relax through the chorus until you remembered that you would be singing on your own in a couple seconds. Pulling up your previous lesson from Luke in your mind, you tried to remember how high he had you sing it, it wasn’t quite Julie’s level but it was definitely higher than his. You once again made eye contact with Luke who mouthed ‘you got this’ with a determined look on his face. You heard the drums starting to quiet slightly and you knew you were up.

“In times that I doubted myself

I felt like I needed some help

Stuck in my head with nothing left

I feel something around me now

So unclear, lifting me out

I found the ground I’m marching on”

You were once again back with Julie’s voice as she came to stand beside you. You turned to face one another and sang with a harmony you were quite certain you hadn’t heard before. She was practically glowing with happiness and you couldn’t help but reflect that same joy on your own face.

As her individual part finished up again the two of you sung the final parts of the song as you went low on the last bright as she sung her iconic high note. The music faded and you couldn’t help but cheer a little bit.

Julie pulled you into a tight hug. “See I told you you’d be amazing!”

You returned the hug. “Thank you, but you should seriously hear yourself. You are so talented.”

“She’s right y/n you sounded really good,” commented Alex from the back; Reggie nodded in agreement.

“Thanks Alex,” you replied. A small smile was on your face and a certain amount of heat was creeping up to your cheeks from the levels of attention on you.

Luckily, Julie quickly took it off of you. This time she was going to have you play a version of Luke’s part on the guitar but complimented it as he sang; which you were grateful for because it meant you could take a background seat for a minute.

Julie started up on her piano again. This time you were waiting for the chorus to start, and as it did you almost forgot what you were doing when Luke started singing. Sure you had heard him sing this song in full once before. But damn could that boy sing.

It wasn’t until the chorus hit that things started to go wrong for you. You once again couldn’t help but notice their closeness, or the way they looked at each other. You continued on playing but you would be lying if you said it was with the same energy you had minutes ago.

The final chorus hit and your face had fallen all the way from buzzing with joy to mopey. You noticed Reggie creeping up from your right and your spirits were slightly raised as you watched him awkwardly wink at you and walk over to finish the rest of the song with you. For a second he made you forget all about your moment of sadness. As you finished up the last of the chords with each other you ended up back to back towards the end of it, for dramatic effect. Alex laughed as the song ended and he noticed the stance you and Reggie had chosen.

“What?” Reggie grinned.

“That was awesome!” you yelled, high fiving him

“Yeah it was!” he said, mirroring your enthusiasm.

“Ya know I think she’ll fit in quite nicely,” Luke observed. You could’ve sworn you saw him smirk and his eyes move slightly, but it was only for a moment.

Julie smiled in a slightly mischievous way. “I think she will too,” Julie agreed, as if you weren’t in the room listening to their conversation.

“You guys know I’m right here right?” you quipped from the other side of the room.

“Yeah I know, but I have a LOT of homework so we gotta wrap this up.”

“I can do that!” You raced over to the couch to get your stuff.

“Gentleman and Julie, it was lovely playing with you and I will see you all tomorrow,” you said as you waved goodbye. They all waved back as you pulled out of her driveway.

It turned out that heavy homework wednesdays were becoming a thing for Julie because in the following week she was told she wasn’t allowed to have band practice until her homework was done. She said something about her dad not being too happy about her staying up till twelve doing it. Though Julie didn’t sound so happy about it either, for obvious reasons; but she did of course want to have band practice, so she promised all of you she would be done as quick as possible. But she still needed a ride home, and Flynn’s house was on the way to your house, so you offered to drive her too.

Flynn called shotgun which Julie groaned about, but she took the back. You turned on Lizzo before putting the park in reverse to get out of the parking lot and driving off.

“So how is your new spot in the phantoms going?” Flynn asked.

“I would say pretty good, but I’ll let Julie answer that one.”

“She’s doing really well, her and Luke have really figured out how to compliment one another on the guitars, and she gets along great with all of them,” Julie responded.

“Well I think they might, maybe, just maybe, be keeping you,” Flynn told you, sarcastically.

“Thank god they are, I don’t know what I would’ve done if they hadn’t," you worried aloud.

“Probably would’ve still thought you were insane,” Flynn suggested with a shrug.

“Harsh! But, yeah, probably,” you admitted, laughing a little bit, and the other two joined you.

“At least now I can get people off my back about me and Luke,” Julie spoke. Flynn pointed at her in acknowledgement.

Now that peaked your interest. “What?” you asked, trying to sound nonchalant about it.

Julie casually waved you off. “Oh just people thinking Luke and I are together.”

You thought you were going to jump up and down from excitement, “Wait, you guys aren’t together?” You hoped you didn’t sound as excited as you felt.

Julie had a borderline concerned look on her face. “Ohhhhh definitely not, we are just friends, and neither of us want to be anything more. I mean don’t get me wrong, I see the appeal, but he’s not my type,” she explained.

“Yeah cause her type is Nick,” Flynn sang, snapping her fingers.

Suddenly a lightbulb clicked. “Was that the guy you were talking to by your locker the day Luke saw me?”

Julie facepalmed in embarrassment. “Yes.”

“See she’s not even denying it,” Flynn pointed out.

“That’s true,” you agreed, looking through your rear mirror at your bandmate.

Flynn's face suddenly turned from mischievous evil to somehow even more evil. “Though I mean we could instead talk about how you obviously think Luke is cute.”

Now that took you by surprise. “I do not!” you insisted.

Flynn’s eyes got slightly larger with her raised eyebrows and she pursed her lips. “Okay so we’re lying now?” she teased.

Julie laughed before slamming her hand over her mouth. “Flynn stop, if she says she doesn’t like him then she doesn’t.”

“Thank you Julie.” You specifically enunciated Julie and Flynn stuck her tongue out at you. And just as she did you turned onto Julie’s road.

You waved goodbye to Julie, wishing her luck with her homework. And then went to drop Flynn off before arriving home yourself.

You rummaged through the fridge to find something and you managed to settle on an orange before also finding hummus and pretzels.

You sat down in your empty kitchen and took a bite of a hummus covered pretzel, and realize you forgot to get water. You turned around to come face to face with Luke…. again.

“HOLY SHIT!” you yelled. It wasn’t your first time but it didn’t mean it wasn’t just as scary.

“Sorry didn’t mean to scare you,” he said, not looking very sorry at all.

“You have got to stop doing that.” You walked past him and by that you mean you accidentally walked through him. You turned back to him for a moment to see if he was okay but he seemed to be looking at you curiously so you assumed he was fine.

“No promises, remember? It’s kinda a ghost thing,” he reminded you as he followed you around your kitchen.

“Okay well what do you and your ghost thing want?” you asked, immediately regretting your choice of words. You could practically feel his smirk from behind you.

“Did you just-” he started but you cut him off.

“Nope, no, no I didn’t. What do you want Luke?” You were trying to pivot and luckily, he took the bait.

“Well, can you come to the studio?” he asked.

“Yes, I was already going to be coming there later.” You were getting slightly confused.

“No, I mean like now,” Luke explained.

“Why?” you asked, finally sitting back down with your water.

“We’re bored,” he confessed, slouching on your table.

“You came here to tell me you’re bored?” you giggled.

“Well I guess technically, yes, so can you come?” he impatiently asked. He just looked restless. Though you supposed being in a garage for a large majority of your day and only having two other people to talk to would do that to a person, or ghost in this case. But unfortunately, you still couldn’t come.

“Sorry Luke, I already told my parents I would be leaving later tonight, and I don’t wanna have to switch plans on them,” you apologized.

“Oh come on, your parents aren’t even home,” he pointed out.

“I’m well aware, but I try to keep my promises to them,” you defended. Though he looked so goddamn cute at the moment you could feel your will power breaking.

“It’ll be fun!” he promised. He must’ve known that his smile could get to you because when you looked at him you swore it had grown three sizes.

“Tempting, but I’m gonna have to pass.”

“Please?” he asked. You looked him in the eyes, which was a big mistake because he was giving you a puppy face. I mean it’s not like you already thought he was cute, but this? This was on a whole nother level. His lips were in a slight pout as his head was tilted doward just a smidge, and his blue eyes mocked sadness, in a way that was just unbearable.

“Okay, okay, fine,” you agreed, you tried to sound annoyed but it didn’t work in the slightest.

“Yes!” he shouted.

“Just let me grab my keys, wait, can you even go in a car?” Could he even get in the car? Could he get in the car, and then his physical state or lack thereof, could suddenly go away and he wouldn’t be sitting in the car anymore? But Luke’s voice interrupted your hypotheticals.

“How about I just meet you there?” Luke suggested.

“Good idea,” you agreed.

Ten minutes later you had pulled up to Julie’s house and entered the studio. “Oh hey Reggie,” you greeted, taking a seat on the couch.

“Oh hi y/n! Are you here to practice with us, or? Not that I mind you being here,” he quickly stammered out.

“It’s fine, you’re okay Reggie, I know I’m not usually here unless it’s for practice. But yeah, I’m just here to hang out.”

“Oh, cool!”

“So where’s everybody else?” you asked.

“Well I think Alex is with Willie and I’m actually not sure where Luke is,” he answered.

“I wonder wh-” you started, but you had a feeling that someone had landed beside you.

Which, of course Luke had, and practically right on time too.

“Sorry, I was just checking on Julie and seeing how much homework she has,” Luke explained.

“How’s it looking?” you asked.

“Not so great, she still has a lot left to go,” Luke admitted.

You shrugged. “Well I’ve got nowhere to be.”

And for the next two hours or so the three of you sat there and talked about all sorts of things, from mundane things, to really deep things, to things they missed the most about being alive. Which mostly consisted of food, not that you blamed them.

Soon enough Luke went to go check up on Julie again.

“Are you cold?” Reggie asked you.

“No,” you lied.

“Dude, I can see you, you’re literally shivering.”

“Yeah, I forgot to grab a jacket before I left my house,” you admitted.

“Here-” he threw a jacket at you, “wear this one, it’s nice and warm.”

“Reggie you really don’t have to-” you started, but he insisted; and you were pretty cold so you gave in.

In a couple of minutes Luke returned to the same spot.

“How’s it looking now?” you asked.

“I don’t think she’s gonna,” Luke suddenly stopped mid sentence to glance over at you, “nice jacket y/n.” For whatever reason, he had a very interesting look on his face, to say the least.

“Thanks, Reggie lent it to me.”

“Oh is that so?” he asked, now turning to look at Reggie, who looked slightly frightened.

“Um, yes?” you said, though it was more of a question.

Luke turned to you, “Y/n?”

“Yeah?” you responded.

“You know that’s my jacket right?” he asked.

Now you also turned to stare down Reggie, “What was your intent with this-”

“Wait what’s his full first name?” you asked Luke in a whisper.

“Reginald,” he whispered back.

“What was your intent with this Reginald?” you asked.

“I have no idea what you guys are talking about,” Reggie said, looking up at the ceiling.

Luke took one step towards him and Reggie yelped before poofing out.

“Why does he keep offering up your stuff?” you laughed.

He scoffed, “I wish I knew.” It seemed like he did know but you weren’t going to press him on it.

“Oh, here, you can have your jacket back now.” You awkwardly handed it over to him.

“Oh, thanks. You did look good in it though, by the way,” he casually mentioned.

You were pretty sure your brain just shut down for a couple seconds. “What?” you asked, you were still working to catch up with what just happened.

“I said, you looked good in it,” he repeated, as his voice was becoming soft and slightly deeper.

“Thanks,” you managed to mumble out. But meanwhile you thought your face was on fire.

“Oh also you might wanna head home, Julie said she’s not gonna be able to practice tonight,” he mentioned.

“I probably should, but hey, I’ll see you tomorrow!” you yelled as you left the studio.

“See ya!” he yelled and waved.

By the time you got home there was a note on the kitchen table, ‘Don’t worry I cleared it with Luke this time -signed Reggie’ and next to the note sat the jacket. You laughed quietly to yourself before taking the note and the jacket upstairs with you.

[legionofpotatoes]

we decided to watch all story cutscenes from the new resident evil village videogame on a whim, since it’s not really our cup of tea gameplay-wise but seems to be this massive zeitgeist moment that made us morbidly curious. And I know how much everyone cares about my thoughts on things I know very little about, so. let’s get into it huh gamers. and yeah spoilers?

for context, I’ve only played resident evil 4 and a small portion of 5. I also read the wikipedia entry for 7’s plot recently. all this to say I was only vaguely aware of how tonally wacky the series was going in

I also completely gave up following the plot of the mutagens’ soap opera, so that paid off in spades here as you might imagine

anyway so that baby in the intro. that baby’s head is just massive. humongous toddlerdome. when ethan finds the baby’s head in a jar later on. there is no way that head would fit into that jar. bad game design. no not even game design. basic stuff. one hundred years in prison for jar modeler

if I see a single functional hetero marriage in video games I will cry tears of joy. I understand their misery is kind of The Point irt them badly working through the hillbilly romp trauma but like. sheesh. at least set that up as an emotional story goal the plot will help resolve. but nope they start off miserable and it goes nowhere

I know I know the mia thing has a huge wrinkle in it but like. not really in terms of dramatic function?? set up a happy end to the re7 nightmare (miranda can keep up appearances for all she cares) and then take that all away from angry griffin mcelroy for manpain. it will still absolutely work to set up the dramatic forward momentum. why throw in this cliche Hollywood Tension in their marriage if you’re not going to address it oh maybe because it’s normalized as automatically interesting because nuclear families are a self-propagating pit of a very narrow chance at emotional happiness relying on social stigma to preserve their empty function oops my baggage slipped in yikes abort mission

I called him griffin mcelroy because I saw his face on twitter and. yeah. I will continue to do this occasionally. my house my rules

... fuck the reason I’m hung up on this is specifically because the rest of the game is so tonally dexterous (which is a shining point to me! more on that later!), and yet they felt weirdly compelled to create the aesthetic trapping of a family-at-odds trope without following it through too well. a sign of both the good and the bad stuff to come

but listen the real reason why I wanted to talk about any of this is to nitpick the fascinating backwards-engineered nucleus of the entire thing; in that this game essentially creates a melting pot of just SO many disparate horror tropes and then makes a no-holds-barred unhinged effort at weaving thick lore to piece them all together. it is truly a sight to behold. like straight up you got your backwoods fright night situation, your gothic castle vampires, your rural-industrial werewolves, and don’t forget your bloated swamp monsters over there, with then a hard left turn into robotic body horror, and the entire ass subgenre of Creepy Doll writ large, and the bloodborne tentacle monsters, and a hellboy angel bossfight, which rides on the coattails of a mech-on-mech pacific rim bonanza, and just jesus henry christ slow down

almost all of these are textural hijack jobs that don’t really get into the metaphor plain of any of those settings but the game sort-of makes an argument that the texture IS the point and revels in it. It is kind of admirable almost. The same reason why the intro felt boxed in and unmotivated is also why the rest of the game just blasts off of its hinges to the point of complete and self-indulgent tonal abandon. I kinda loved that about it. lady dimitrescu made sure to hold her hat down as she bent forward in mahogany doorways and then suddenly she’s a giant gore dragon and you settle in your temp role as dark souls man with Gun to take her ass down. Excellent??

this rhino rampage impulse to gobble up every horror aesthetic known to man comes to head when the game wrestles with its FPS trappings in what is the most hilarious solution in creating visceral player damage moments. Since most cinematics and the entire game is in first person, that leaves precious little real estate for the devs to work with if they really want to sell griffin’s physical crucible. To wit. This dude’s forearms. Specifically just the forearms. They are MASSACRED throughout the story. The poor man lives out the silent hill dimension of a hand model. by the end cutscene he looks like a neatly dressed desk clerk who had decided to stick both his grabbers into garbage disposal grinders just a few hours prior. like in addition to everything else it manages to rope in that tinge of slapstick violence into its general grievous genre collection except this time it IS for a lack of trying! truly incredible

but wait his miracle clawbacks from everything his poor paws go through are retroactively explained away, yes, but far too vaguely and far too late to console me as I sat and watched everyone’s favorite baby brother reattach an entirely severed hand to his wrist stump by just. placing it on there. and giving it a lil twist ‘n pop terminator-style. and then willing his fingers back into motion right in front of my bulging eyes. this game just does not care. it does not give a shit. and boy howdy will it work to make that into one of its strongest suits

cause generally speaking resident evil was THE premiere vanilla zombie content destinaysh for like a decade, right? and as the rest of the world and mainstream media started encroaching and bloodying its blue ocean it went and just exploded in every single conceivable horror trope direction like a smilodon on catnip. truly, genuinely fascinating franchise moves

yeah the big vampire milf is hot. other news; grass... green. although I do love the implication that her closet is just identical white dresses on a rack. cartoon network-level queen shit

apropos of nothing I’ve said there’s also this hobo dante-devimaycry-magneto man, and I can’t believe this sentence makes sense. anyway he made that “boulder-punching asshole” joke referring to chris redfield and it was probably the only easter egg that really landed for me and boy did it land hard. I have not seen him punch the boulder in re5, mind. I had only heard about how funny it is from friends. and here this dude was, probably in the same exact mindset as me, trying to grapple with that insane mental image. with you on that ian mckellen, loud and clear

I advocate vehemently against the shallow pursuit of hyper photorealism in art direction but I gotta admit it works really in favor of immersive horror like this. the european village shacks especially gave me super unchill flashbacks to my rural countryside retreat in western georgia. I could smell the linoleum dude. not cool

faces are weird in this game. can’t place it. nice textures, good animation, but the modeling template is... uuh strange? and the hair. it has that clustered-flat-clumpy look that harkens to something very specific and unpleasant but I just don’t know what. sue me

griffin’s mental aptitude to take all this shit in stride and end every seemingly traumatizing bossfight involving some fucking eldritch being yet unseen through mortal eyes by essentially throwing out an MCU quip is just. What the fuck dude? I mean that was funny how you casually yelled the f-word at a god damn werewolf that you considered a fairy tale an hour ago but are you like, all right?? it was swinging a sledgehammer the size of a bus at you, ethan

oh oh the vampires are afraid of cold and your last name is winters. I get it haha

Pro Gamer Nitpick: boss fights seemed a bit unnecessarily long?? idk why the youtuber we picked decided the ENTIRE propeller man fight counted towards the vital story scenes he was stitching together, but man mr big daddy lite there really had some get up and go huh??

why are they saying dimitrescu.. like that. is it really how you say that word or is the english language relapsing into its fetish for ending every single word with a consonant at all costs

I’m not saying it’s a dramatic miss of a twist in context of all that’s going on, but the “you died in the last game actually and have been DC’s clayface ever since” revelation is low-key. it’s. it’s just funny to me, I dont know what to say. century-old god-witch fails her evil plan after she mistakenly removes heart from what was definitely NOT just some white guy with eight fingers after all

chris realizing he’s about to become the player character and immediately swapping out his tsundere trenchcoat for the muscletight sex haver sweater

the little bluetooth speaker-sized pipe bomb he taped to his knife was nuclear?? really??? I must have missed something because that is just too good. I buy it though I totally buy it. chris just got them fun-sized nukes in his car trunk for, you guessed it, Situations

anyway this is all for now just wanted to briefly touch on how unexpectedly funny and tonally irreverent this seemingly serious game turned out to be. did not articulate any cathartic story beats whatsoever but my god it had fun connecting those plot points. he just fucking put his severed hand back on his stump and it Just Worked todd howard get in here

[moondustaeil]

jcc , johnny suh

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ✧☾.·:·. jcc, get ready with me

⠀ ⠀⠀ about

⋅  genre : vlogger au : fluff 

⋅  characters : Johnny x reader

⋅  word count : 1.4k

⋅  Episode 2 of the jcc series [ep 1]

⠀ ⠀  ⠀ ⠀

⠀ ⠀⠀ summary

⋅  This week in Johnny’s communication center : getting ready with Johnny and y/n. (bonus : revealing Johnny’s abs) 

“Hey guys, this is another episode of JCC, Johnny’s communication center,”

The intro to his weekly videos started with the same sentence but a different voice. While you narrated the short intro to start the video officially, the host of the show itself was still peacefully asleep on his side of the bed. “It’s y/n” you whispered in a softer voice as you walked into your bedroom, revealing a glimpse of Johnny as only his head popped up from under the warm covers. “Johnny is still asleep even though we planned to film” you explained to the camera, knowing viewers would want to know why you were the one to introduce everything. “So, let’s wake him up now ~” you whispered before placing the camera somewhere stable. 

“John, wake up” you whispered as you bent down slightly to get to the right level, shaking his blanket-covered shoulder just lightly. Every few seconds that passed, your hand shook his shoulder again as you wished this wouldn’t be as hard as it was on other days. “C’mon Johnny, wakey” you whispered in his ear, the tone of your voice going up when two hands unexpectedly gripped your waist lightly. A tired grumble left Johnny’s lips as he tried to pull your body onto the bed for lazy morning cuddles, or something less fluffy than that.  Though before the camera could capture the needy side of your boyfriend, you informed him about the video he had planned to film. “Fuck, that’s true,” he said quietly, hugging your waist while he slowly sat up in bed. 

A few minutes of waist hugging and tired mumbled later, Johnny finally managed to throw the covers off of himself and get up from his soft bed. “Good morning Joh-fam” he said as he rubbed his eyes with one hand before moving the other hand to wave towards the camera. “Today me and y/n are showing you how we get ready. Or well, our morning routine” he explained, his voice changing in the process of losing his tiredness. He took your hand and pulled you right next to him in the view of the camera, both of your unmatched nightclothes coming into view. 

“We woke up like this” you said as you looked at Johnny, the bed hair present but the cute smile on his lips was what drew your attention more than anything else. At your words, Johnny hummed in approval while looking down at you just like you were looking at him. “We’ll skip Johnny’s fashion evaluation. We look like trash” he said with a chuckle, his arm wrapped around your waist while he took a pose to certify himself as official morning look trash. Perhaps it could be the thumbnail, but that would be up to which moment he found most memorable throughout editing it. “Now, let’s start. Go!” he said louder, playfully pushing you into the direction of the bathroom while he got the camera from the dresser. 

Once in the bathroom, Johnny placed down the camera again on the counter next to the sink, making sure both of you were coming into view while you individually and yet together got ready for the day. “First, we’ll shower. Together to save water and time” he announced, playfully covering the camera for a second so that you could already get undressed and hidden behind the shower curtain. When you were hidden, he got rid of his remaining pieces of clothing and got under the shower as well. It was a part that would be cut out of the video anyway, deleted before anyone else could have access to it because privacy mattered to both of you. As short as the shower was, it was still spent with a couple of soft kisses here and there, and jokes about romantically washing each other in a future video. But once out of the shower, your bodies were quickly covered by towels except for Johnny’s chest.

“After showering, we both do our skincare routine. So let’s do that now” you introduced the segment quickly as you stood in front of the bathroom mirror, more out of sight than Johnny who didn’t mind flexing his abs in front of the camera while he applied the toner to his face, slapping sounds being recorded as his hands carelessly slapped the skin of his cheek. “Aren’t you jealous of the Joh-fam for seeing my chocolate factory?” he asked with a laugh, once again lightly pushing you to get your attention. You shook your head after thinking about it for a small second “not really, Willy Wonka gave some free tickets. So I guess some can enjoy the show with me” you replied, shrugging casually at your own remark even if it left your boyfriend in a fit of laughter. 

Skincare was followed by getting dressed, but the way from the bathroom to the bedroom was filled with endless teasing from you about the way Johnny’s hips swayed or from Johnny who teased you about the way you changed your walking because you knew the camera was capturing everything. “Today’s concept?” you asked Johnny as you held the camera to his wardrobe, the white towel contrasting against the color of his toned stomach. You heard Johnny let out a hum while he was thinking, moving the clothes hangers back and forth in search for some clothes. “Simple, after this y/n and I are going to film another video so we have to dress along to the concept of that video” he explained without revealing the next thing that would appear in another episode or in a random vlog of his. “So where are we going then?” you asked as Johnny got himself some clothes out of the wardrobe, changing his clothes without revealing more than wanted. “That’s a secret Joh-fam, you don’t have to make y/n ask,” he said with a chuckle, taking over the camera from you once he was dressed. 

“y/n is dressing in the same concept as I am” Johnny explained but focused on all the pieces of clothing that were in your wardrobe, just to give you your privacy while you were getting changed. Once again he moved his long arm to snoop through the hangers of clothing you had, pulling faces that represented the feeling he had by the different kinds of clothes. “Don’t you have a secret wedding outfit in here?” he asked teasingly, focusing the camera on your face for only a split second. You shook your head with a laugh. “No, I’m still waiting for someone to pop the question” you replied with a wink towards the camera, leaving Johnny in another fit of laughter. It was hard not to make him laugh at anything, everything that happened was like a little spark of happiness that formed in bubbles of laughter from Johnny. “I don’t know if that makes you basic or extra” he replied, ruffling your hair playfully as you finished off getting dressed.  

“So now that we’re done with our get ready with us, we should end the video right?” you asked as you plopped down next to Johnny on the bed, your head resting against his arm while he focused the camera on both of you. “I’m not ready yet” Johnny protested, his head tilting to let it rest on top of yours. A moment like this would also be nice for the thumbnail, but due to the intimacy, Johnny hadn’t thought about that yet. “What? How so, we did everything?” you asked with a confused frown on your face, in your mind trying to recall everything you would normally do while getting ready in the morning. “I didn’t get my morning kiss,” he said, lips pouted outwards to show sadness but at the same time beg for the morning kiss he didn’t receive. As a response, he received an eye roll from you but before he could comment on that, you gave him the morning kiss he had lacked in the past half hour or more. 

“good morning Johnny” you whispered against his lips, about to pull back until he placed his hand on the back of your neck to let the kiss linger for some extra seconds. “Good morning y/n” he whispered back before ending the soft kiss.

“and peace out Joh-fam, look forward to the next episode”

[vintagedolan]

no service (gbd)

the boys do their first no tech challenge since you and grayson get together, and though they make it, something goes terribly wrong at home

word count: 5k

warnings/tags: angst, worried!grayson, hurt!y/n 

feel free to send in requests! i’ll write most things! hope you enjoy :)

Your POV:

“I dunno, I just have a weird feeling about this one.” Grayson’s fingers were twisting and untwisting the hem of your shirt, his nerves evident as you laid next to him in bed.

“Gray you’re gonna be fine, it’s just like before. You’ve got the van, and you’ve done survival stuff. Everything is gonna work out. I am gonna miss you though,” you gave him a sad smile.

Since you’d started dating, you’d been attached at the hip. You still had an apartment of your own, but if you were honest you needed to just bite the bullet and sell it - you practically lived with the twins, and you wouldn’t have it any other way. But that also meant that this was going to be the first long-ish stretch that you weren’t with each other. 

“It’s just 7 days baby, it’ll go by so fast.” Now he was comforting you, of course. 

“You’re gonna have the best time, I can’t wait to see the video when you get home.” 

“I’d send you pictures, but you know we won’t have our phones,” he sighed, running a finger along your jawline. “Not being able to see this face all week is gonna suck.”

You blushed deep red, warming his fingertips before you pulled away and crawled across the bed.

“Hey, where ya goin’?” Grayson pouted, but you ignored him for a second, going over to the dresser where you kept some of your clothes full time. You reached down, pulling out the little album that you’d been making as a gift for Grayson down the road. You pulled out one of your favorite pictures; from one of the first weeks that you’d been dating, it was the two of you with the LA skyline in the background, with you looking up at him as he smiled. 

“Here, take this with you.” You handed him the photo. “I know E will probably give you shit, but just hide it somewhere. Make sure you bring it back though, that one’s my favorite.”

“I love you,” he responded, but you barely heard it, because at that exact moment Ethan was banging on the door and yelling “GRAY! C’mon it’s time to go!” 

“And i’m going to kill my brother,” he groaned, reaching out and pulling you to him tightly, falling back on the bed. You landed on top of him, and his lips were on yours before you could say anything. He kissed you roughly for a minute, a bit of urgency there as he knew you weren’t going to be able to do this again for a while. Ethan knocked on the door again, and you felt Graysons arms tighten as he rolled over, putting you underneath him

“Go Gray, before he beats the door down,” you teased, pushing gently on his chest.

“I could just stay here with you,” he countered, raising an eyebrow.

“Go,” You giggled, pushing harder.

“Fine, fine,” he grumbled, kissing you again before getting up. “Alright E, I’m coming!” 

You followed him to the door where Ethan was standing in the doorway.

“Finally get him to stop crying and leave?” E asked.

“Oh shut up,” you teased, pushing on his chest so you could get by. He followed you, slinging an arm around your shoulders as you headed out to the van, which you knew was already packed.

You stayed out of the shot as they filmed a little intro explaining what they were doing. Grayson was so much more excited these days in all the videos, but even more so in the ones that had to do with adventures. You watched as the locked their phones in the box they’d used before, storing it under the benches in the van. 

Once the cameras cut, Gray made his way back over to you, wrapping you up in a tight hug.

“I love you. I’m gonna miss you so much,” he murmured into your hair.

“I love you too Gray. Be safe.”

“You too. Call Ricky if you need anything okay? He’ll still have his phone for emergencies.” 

“I’ll see you soon.”

-----------------------------------------------------

Grayson’s POV

His mind was already wandering as he continued driving down the road, already in Arizona. They were headed to Big Bend National Park, with the new challenge of not using their phones for navigation. Ethan was actually a good navigator, so once he got on the right highway it was just a matter of driving through Arizona and Texas, then down to the Mexico border to get to the park. 

“I think all this footage is gonna be sick, and I’m excited to get some star shots once we get to the park,” Ethan said. Gray just nodded along, watching the road.

“You good bro? You’re off, I can feel it.”

“Yeah, I’m fine. I just have a pit in my stomach about this whole thing. It’s makin’ me anxious,” Grayson explained, fists tightening on the wheel of the van. Ricky was in the back, sound asleep.

“What about it though? Is it something specific?” Ethan asked.

“I can’t put my finger on it. I just have a weird feeling. I’m sure it’s nothing, I’m just in my head.” 

“Is it Y/N?”

Sometimes, Grayson really hated sharing a mind. And this was one of those times. He stayed silent, which was enough of an answer for Ethan.

“She’s a fully capable person Gray. She’s gonna be fine without you for a few days.” 

“Thanks asshole, I know. Just drop it.” 

“Whatever,” Ethan shrugged, settling down into his chair a bit more, crossing his arms and getting comfy for the long trip ahead. 

And a long trip it was. They made it to the park around 1am, and were amazed at what they saw. Above them was the whole milky way, clear as day. 

They shot a quick clip explaining the main reason they’d come all the way to Big Bend.

“It’s a certified dark zone, which means no one is allowed to have building with lights out here. So theres no light pollution at all, it’s one of the best places in the world to see the stars,” Ethan explained. Grayson wasn’t paying too much attention; instead he was gazing up, and suddenly missing who he wanted beside him more than anything. 

It was going to be a long few days. 

Your POV:

The first four days were alright. You spent your time wandering around the house, enjoying all the space. You sat in Ethan’s comfy chair in the living room while you watched netflix, cuddled up in one of Grayson’s blankets from his bed that you’d dragged with you. It smelled like him, and it was comforting.

When that got boring you’d change into a swim suit, heading out to the pool - you’d given it a good cleaning, which you knew the boys would be thankful for when they got back. You were determined to get more of a tan than Gray by the end of the summer, and if you had any chance at all you needed to get a head start. 

By day five, the boredom was starting to get to you. You wanted to talk to Grayson, see his face, see his smile, hear his laugh. You even resorted to going back and watching a few of your favorite videos of theirs, just to hear his voice. You felt pathetic while you did it, but you also couldn’t really bring yourself to care too much if you were honest. All throughout the day you caught yourself pulling out your phone to text him, but you knew he wouldn’t see them. 

Still, you’d send a message just for fun, knowing he would see them once he got back and was allowed to have his phone. You could just imagine his face when he got back and saw all the little messages you’d left. 

miss youuuuu

hey u should come home now, k thanks

I stole your favorite hoodie and you’re never getting it back oops

im gonna hide all your building stuff, that’s the level of boredom i’m at

this shit sucks 

i love you

I wanna go on the next adventure :(

But as you sent the last one, it sparked an idea. 

You could make your own adventure. Nothing was stopping you, and you had nothing better to do. The weather was nice, and there was supposed to be some good surf coming in.

And so, that was that. You packed up a towel, your wetsuit and some sunscreen, heading out to the car. You decided to take the Bronco, just because it had the surf rack on top. Grayson still wasn’t too keen on anyone driving his car, but he trusted you with it more than Ethan, and you knew he wouldn’t really care.

So you packed up your surfboard, struggling a bit to get it on top of the roof and strapped down - Grayson always made it look so damn easy. But you managed, finally getting in and heading to the beach. The drive was beautiful, as always, but you missed being in the passenger seat with Grayson’s hand on your thigh. 

Damn. These last few days were gonna suck. 

Grayson’s POV:

“I think we’re really getting the hang of this bro. I’m excited. We could do this full time, for real,” Grayson grinned, packing up a few things in the van while Ethan filled up the packs with water. Ricky was filming, so he took the opportunity to explain what was happening.

“So guys, today we’re going on the longest, and most difficult hike in Big Bend. It’s called South Rim, it’s about 14 miles total, but we’re gonna split it up and actually camp about halfway so we can get even cooler views tonight. Now, Ethan and I like to say we’re hikers, but honestly, we kinda suck.”

“Yeah, we uh, we’re not great,” Ethan chimed in. 

“So this should be fun!”

“Oh yeah, great time.” 

“And obviously we don’t have our phones, so we’re gonna have no idea what time it is, we won’t be able to call for help if we get, ya know, mauled by a mountain lion or something.”

“Bro, why would you say that!?” Ethan groaned.

“It’s the truth! Well, I guess Ricky has his phone though, so we’d be alright.”

“My phone hasn’t had service since we got here,” Ricky countered from behind the camera. 

“Oh we are so fucked dude,” Ethan grumbled.

And in all honesty, it put a bit of a pit in Gray’s stomach, knowing he wouldn’t be able to contact anybody if something happened. But he pushed the thought from his mind, moving to help his brother pack up the tent and begin their trek.

Your POV:

The beach wasn’t too crowded, which was a blessing. When you said you liked to surf, it usually meant that you liked to catch 1 wave out of the 50 you tried for. You were a beginner, that was for sure. There were only about 20 people on the entire beach, and a few surfers out on the break, with the lifeguard keeping a close eye on them.

Even if you didn’t feel it, you looked the part in your wetsuit, board tucked under your arm. You snapped a quick picture, sending it to Grayson’s non-existent phone just for kicks.

wish you were here! you’d be laughing at how much I’m gonna suck. love you!

After it sent, you put it away in the waterproof box you’d brought. You made your way over to the lifeguard station, waving up at the man sitting atop the chair.

“Hey, I’m here by myself, do you care if I leave this box here with you?” You asked politely. 

“Yeah that’s fine. Be careful out there,” he responded, not taking his eyes off the water. You put it down by the legs of the chair, jogging towards the water. The ocean was cold when it hit your skin but you adjusted quickly, diving in and heading out to the break. 

And as you predicted, you missed practically every single one you tried to get up on. You hit the water over and over again, your arms sore from pushing up to standing, even if it was to no avail.

You began paddling in after about an hour, accepting defeat, when suddenly you noticed everyone beside you paddling out instead of in. 

The lifeguard’s whistle came too late. By the time you turned around, the wave was already there, towering feet above any that had come prior. 

And you were right in the break.

You’d read about these before. Rouge waves, you remembered. Random waves that come from nowhere, with no apparent cause. You had just enough time to suck in your breath before it crashed directly over your head.

It felt like the inside of a washing machine looked - that was the only way you could describe it. And then you felt something warm on your head, and everything went black.

Grayson’s POV:

It was the morning of day six, and Grayson had never been more ready to get home. The pit in his stomach was a rock now, and he had no explanation for it at all. 

“Bro we’re actually disgusting. Like we need a real shower somewhere, or we’re never gonna get the smell out of this van,” Ethan said. And he was right. After all the hiking and sleeping in the tent, the three of them reeked. 

“We could do a gas station shower, we just gotta map our way there without our phones. I don’t think that breaks the rules, we just aren’t supposed to use technology,” Ricky shrugged.

“Alright sick, we might as well start driving. Gray, you okay?” E asked.

“Yeah. Just don’t feel good,” he mumbled. He kept himself curled up in the back of the van, head resting on the table as Ethan found his way out of the park and towards the nearest town.

Grayson couldn’t figure out what was bothering him so much. He wasn’t dehydrated, he hadn’t eaten anything bad. He should be having the time of his life, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that something was terribly wrong. It was like the time that Ethan had cut his leg open when they were kids; Grayson wasn’t near him, but he just knew. It was exactly that feeling, except Ethan was right there in front of him, perfectly fine. So he just kept his head down, hoping whatever it was would pass.

They found the gas station about 45 minutes later, and the three of them headed in eagerly. Maybe a good warm shower would clear his mind. 

And once he was done, he did feel better. But only slightly. It was getting harder to breathe. He headed out, noticing that Ricky was already in the van and Ethan was waiting outside. 

“Gray, dude you don’t look good. What’s wrong?”

“I think I’m getting sick man. I’ve been sick to my stomach since yesterday, and I feel like I can’t breathe now. Maybe I’ve got a really bad allergy to something out here. I’m sorry man, I’m trying to shake it so I can be up for the video, but I don’t know where it’s coming from.” 

“Guys.” Ricky’s voice was serious, much more serious than normal.

“What’s up?” E asked. 

“I just got service again, and I’ve got 12 missed calls, all from the same number. I don’t recognize it though. LA area code.”

“Call it. Call it now.” Grayson’s answer came before he could even think about it. He felt like he was going to hurl.

Ricky dialed it back quickly, holding the phone up to his ear. The twins climbed in the back, sitting down across from him at the table.

“This is he.” Ricky said. “Um, yeah, yeah he’s right here.”

Grayson’s blood went ice cold when Ricky held the phone out for him.

“It’s for you.”

He felt robotic and he reached out, taking the phone and putting it up to his ear.

“Hello?”

“Hi, is this Mr. Grayson Dolan?” 

“Yes.”

“Hi Grayson. We’re just calling on behalf of Ms. Y/N Y/L/N from King Hospital, you’re listed as her primary emergency contact.”

“Is she alright? What happened?”

“She’s stable right now. We don’t have all of the details, she’s been in and out of consciousness. She was in an accident -”

“Accident?” Grayson’s voice cracked, and Ethan stiffened up beside him. As if it was instinct, he felt his brothers hand on his shoulder, anchoring him just enough that he could listen.

“She was out surfing at Manhattan Beach, the lifeguards said there was a rouge wave. They got her out quickly, but they think she hit her head on some rocks when she went under. She wasn’t breathing when they got to her, but she was stabilized in the ambulance. She told us to call Ricky off her phone when she was conscious because you wouldn’t have your phone. We’ve had her sedated so her brain could rest, but it looks like we’re going to need to take her in for surgery, because we found some deep lacerations on her head and want to check for anymore significant damage.”

“Surgery?” Grayson expected himself to go numb, but he almost had the opposite. He was so overwhelmed that it was crippling. “How soon?”

“As soon as we’re able. She isn’t able to give consent, so we needed to get in contact with you if possible. Are you able to get here quickly?”

“I’m - I’m not in the state, I’m in Texas.”

“Well, a telephone consent will do,” the nurse said.

“Oh. Okay, yeah. Yeah, I consent. Do what you need to, please just be careful.” It was dumb thing to say, he knew that, but he couldn’t help himself. 

“Thank you Mr. Dolan, we will. And we’ll keep you updated. Should we call at this number, or the one you have listed?” 

“The one I have listed is fine, I have it now.” 

Ethan knew exactly what that meant and was immediately scrambling to find the box with their phones while Ricky got the key ready off his keychain. 

“Alright, speak soon Mr. Dolan.” 

And with that she hung up the phone.

“I’m gonna be sick,” were the only words that Grayson could manage as he crawled to the back of the van and hurled over the bumper. Ethan followed him, holding onto his shoulders and trying to stabilize him so he didn’t fall out.

“What do we need to do Gray?”

“Drive. We need to get home, now.”

Without further questions, Ricky climbed into the drivers seat as they closed up the back of the van, immediately heading in the direction of California. 

When Gray finally managed to get enough air in his lungs, he was able to look up at Ethan, who was sitting opposite of him. 

“Y/N’s hurt. I think it’s pretty bad.”

“Tell me what happened.” 

And so he did, to the best of his ability. He didn’t have very much information, which was the hard part. But he told his brother everything that the nurse did.

“Well, if she was with it enough to give them Ricky’s number instead of yours, that’s good. That means she was alright when they got her in the ambulance.”

“Right. I wonder if she tried to call me.” The thought made his stomach tighten.

“Your phone was dead, it’s charging up front right now. Either way, we’re headed back as quick as we can.” 

Grayson noted that the van was moving quite quickly - Ricky was definitely speeding, but he didn’t care. 

“E.”

“I know Gray. I’m scared too. But she’s gonna be alright. She has to be.” 

She’s gonna be alright

She’s gonna be alright

He repeated the words over and over again in his head, sometimes mumbling them aloud. A few minutes later, his phone was charged. Ethan climbed to the front to get it. Without having to ask, Ethan knew that Grayson wanted him to screen his texts, just to see. And he could tell there were texts from her just by his face.

“E. If she text me about all this and I didn’t answer, I’m gonna lose my fucking mind.” 

“She wouldn’t have been able to, she didn’t take her phone in the water. These are all from before.” 

He held out his hand.

Looking at the texts was his undoing. He could hear her voice, clear as day in his head as he read them, making it all the much harder. He began to sob, uncontrollable ragged sounds. Ethan put an arm around his shoulder in silent support, as he often did. And Ricky continued down the road.

------------------------

It was the longest 15 hours of his life. They’d checked to make sure it wasn’t quicker to stop in Phoenix and put Grayson on a flight - driving straight through was faster. But god it felt like it was taking years. He held the picture he had of him and Y/N in his hand, but he couldn’t look at it for too long without losing it. 

Ethan was driving now, with Grayson in the passenger seat - he hadn’t been forced to take a turn, everyone knew he was in no shape to drive. 

Everyone in the car was on edge, which meant they all jumped practically to the ceiling when Grayson’s phone rang. He answered on the first ring.

“Hello?”

“Mr. Dolan?” It was a different voice this time.

“Yes.”

“Hi, this is Y/N’s surgeon, just calling with an update. Y/N is out of surgery, and she did great! No complications, and the damage seems pretty minimal, though we’ll have to see once she wakes up.” 

He took his first real breath in the last 15 hours. 

“That’s great news. Thank you.”

“So she’s in recovery right now, but she’s gonna be unconscious for the next 30 minutes or so. Should we be expecting you?”

“Yeah, yeah I’m headed there right now, I should be there in about 25 minutes according to my GPS.”

“Alright perfect. Well, she’s in room 828 on the post op wing when you get here, just sign in at the desk and we’ll bring you up. We’ll take good care of her.”

“Thank you so much doctor.”

“She’s alright. Out of surgery, should be waking up soon,” he explained as soon as he hung up. The relief was obvious, especially for Ethan. Gray had been so caught up in his own worry that he’d forgotten how worried Ethan must be - Y/N was practically his sister. Grayson watched as his brother pressed just a tiny bit more on the gas, racing towards the hospital.

When they arrived, Grayson couldn’t get out of the van fast enough. He bolted for the entrance, with Ethan in tow. Ricky stayed in the car out of privacy, offering to get them anything they needed. 

They went through the motions of check in - something they were all too familiar with - and Grayson followed the nurse up to the post op floor, where he was transferred over to the nurse that had initially called him. 

“She’s starting to stir just a bit. Just to prepare you, we aren’t sure how confused she’s going to be when she wakes up. With the mixture of anesthesia and her concussion, she may be very out of it. Just be patient with her, she should come around to her normal self within the next few hours. She’s right through here.” The nurse stopped outside the door, opening the door with a gentle push. 

“You wanna go alone, or do you want me with you?” Ethan asked, hesitating.

“With me.” He didn’t have to think about it. 

Grayson went in first, and if Ethan hadn’t been behind him, he probably would have fallen to his knees. Y/N was in the hospital bed, gown over her still form, her head partially wrapped in gauze. She had oxygen tubes in her nose and was breathing deeply, laying flat on her back, eyes closed. Just the image of her in the whole hospital garb was enough to bring tears to his eyes. He hated it more than he could have imagined. 

Once he was stable enough on his feet, Grayson headed to her bedside. As he got closer, she started to stir a bit, fingers twitching as he sat down as gently as he could on the side of her bed. It was as if she knew he was there already, even though he hadn’t said a word or touched her at all. 

“Mmmmmm.” She started to make a noise, her dry lips parting.

“Baby?” Grayson leaned forward, taking her hand in his, careful not to move her IV. 

“Mmm- mad.” She mumbled, eyes still closed.

“Mad?” He looked back at Ethan for clarification, but he just nodded. Grayson raised a hand up to cup her cheek, and she smiled, resting her head in his palm. He revealed in the feeling, taking it in. 

“Bronco.” This time, her word was clear, though it didn’t make anymore sense. 

“Baby. Y/N, can you open your eyes sweetheart?” Grayson coaxed, rubbing his thumb along her cheekbone. 

“Tryin’. It’s heavy,” she said, scrunching her eyebrows. He could tell she was really doing her best, which made his heart squeeze a bit tighter. When she finally managed to lift her eyelids, he could tell she was exhausted. 

“You’s gonna be mad at me,” was the first sentence she managed to string together, though all her words were drawn out and slightly garbled. 

“Why would I be mad at you baby?”

“I drove the bronco, left it at the beach. Probs some homeless guy living in it,” she said, resting all the weight of her head onto his hand. 

“It’s okay. I really couldn’t care less about the car right now.”

“Don’t say that, Ethan will be big sad.” She gasped then, sitting upright a little more. “Ethan! Hi buddy!” She had just noticed him at the end of the bed. She blinked hard, like she was trying to bring him into focus.

“Hey girly, how yah feelin?” 

“Got a cracked skull, but i’ms okay. But guess what?”

“What?” He asked.

“Still smarter than youuuuu,” she shrugged, and Grayson couldn’t help but let out a laugh.

She really was back to normal.

“You want me to go get the car?” Ethan asked, sitting on the opposite side of her bed and for once, choosing not to throw a comeback. He really had been worried.

“I don’t have keys. Or my phone. I left em with the lifeguard,” she pouted, her lip curling down. If it wasn’t so pitiful, he would have found it adorable. 

“It’s okay, we’ll figure it out. Don’t worry about it,” Grayson reassured her, leaning forward to press a kiss to her forehead. 

The nurse came in then to check on her. Ethan moved out of her way, and Grayson was about to move away, but Y/N grabbed his hand, using all her strength to hold him there.

“Don’t go,” she whimpered, and he swore he could feel a piece of his heart crack.

“I’m right here, just getting out of the nurses way,” he promised, kissing her hand and standing next to the bed.

“You guys are fine, I’ll let you know if you’re somewhere I need to be,” the nurse smiled. “How’re you feeling Y/N?” 

“Sore, but okay.”

“Well, you’re a trooper. I’ve never seen anyone come out of anesthesia so clear headed before. Now, you might get confused in a little while, but that’s just the concussion, and it’ll pass, okay? Just gotta give it time. You just rest and give your body some time to heal. You should be ready to rock and roll out of here in the next few days, okay?” 

“M’kay. Is my phone lost forever?” She asked.

“Actually the lifeguard that pulled you out dropped off your box with your things earlier. It’s over there with your other belongings.” 

Grayson made a mental note to find that guy and thank him profusely in the future. Ethan went over to the personal items bag, bringing it over to the bed. Y/N started to rummage through it, pulling things out one by one. 

When she got her wetsuit out - which took some effort - she frowned, running her finger over the new cut that Grayson assumed was made by the paramedics. He tried as hard as he could to not picture what the ambulance looked like when that cut was made.

“They cut it,” she pouted. “That was my favorite one.”

“I’ll buy you a new one,” Grayson reassured her. 

“M’kay,” she mumbled, satisfied. She cuddled down a little bit into her pillow, obviously exhausted. Grayson continued going through the bag, getting the keys and her phone out of the box. 

“I’m gonna get the car before it gets towed. Give you all a minute,” Ethan said quietly, having a hand out for the keys.

“Thanks bro. I’ll keep you updated.” 

He was extremely grateful, but he couldn’t find the words. He hoped Ethan knew.

“Gray,” Y/N said quietly. 

“Hey baby, I’m right here.” 

“M’tired,” she murmured, holding a hand out. “Can we sleep?” 

“You can sleep sweetheart,” Grayson reassured her. 

“C’mere. Come up here,” she said, patting the bed next to her. 

Grayson obliged, sliding his arms under her knees and behind her back, scooting her over just enough so that he could slide into the bed beside her. 

“Much better. I missed you. Maybe don’t go for so long next time,” she said, curling up against him and getting as close as she could.

“Don’t worry. I’m not leaving you for a long, long time.”

“Sounds good to me,” she mumbled, but she was already falling asleep before the end of the sentence. So Grayson held her close to him, relishing in the feeling and lulling off to sleep. 

[solange-lol]

i don't need three bars to tell me we're meant to connect

words: 1,997

AUctober day 21: academia

read on ao3

—

There’s a boy in Will’s Intro to Writing class, and Will is in love with him.

Maybe love isn’t the right word, but he’s definitely encased by this guy. He has dark hair, dark eyes, and he’s way smarter than everyone in the class which is something Will can seriously respect.

Every day at 2pm he logs on, never really quite sure what’s going on in the class because he’s too curious about what he’s wearing or if Will can get some sort of idea as to who his roommate is. 

In a normal circumstance, Will would consider maybe introducing himself, or at least trying to catch this kid at the dining hall. For now, though, he’s stuck staring at him through his tiny computer screen.

This whole Zoom class thing limits what he can learn about this kid, especially since he only has two things hung up in the background of his call: a pride flag and a poster for a card game Will has never seen.

All Will can know about him, for now, is his name is Nico, he’s gay, and he’s really, really hot. 

Which is enough for him to already be falling.

And by some ungodly power, his friends already knew, too.

Will’s roommate, Connor Stoll, probably figured out the day he just so happened to walk past Will’s desk just as the blonde had pinned Nico’s screen to his computer (he was just trying to get a better look at what his shirt said.)

“Stalker much?” had been the only thing he remarked. Of course, less than a week later and he was already getting advice on how to ask Nico out from Connor and his boyfriend, Mitchell.

“I don’t even know him,” Will points out, to which Connor responds with, “You know him enough to care about what’s written on his shirt.”

He rolls his eyes. “That was a one time thing.”

“Trust me, Will. If I managed to get this one to ask me out, I think you can ask out someone,” Mitchell said, slugging Connor lightly in the shoulder who only nods proudly.

When that hadn’t turned out to be much helpful (Will isn’t exactly the best at just doing things,) he opts to ask Lou Ellen and Cecil, the two kids he had met in the first week of classes

They had been introduced when the teacher put them in breakout rooms to get to know each other in small groups. Will knew both already vaguely: Lou was also in his Chemistry class, and Cecil lived on his floor.

The three ended up bonding over their shared love of Star Wars and inevitably made a group chat together to share homework answers for the class or discuss whatever the weekly drama was that they were able to catch bits and pieces of. Turns out life is just as eventful even when everybody is stuck to their own dorms.

Will had barely been able to get two words out to them on FaceTime before Lou interrupts him.

“You need help asking out Nico from our writing class, don’t you?”

Will just blinks. “How did you know?”

“Because you mention every day what he talked about in class today.”

“I do?”

“Yeah, and you asked me if I knew what floor he lived on,” Cecil adds. “I was betting on murder, maybe, but once Lou Ellen told me it was probably a crush it made a little more sense.”

Will shakes his head. “I’m gonna choose to ignore the murder part.”

“I sent Mitchell after you. Isn’t he supposed to be a love expert or something?” Lou Ellen asks.

“That was you? I thought that was just Connor oversharing his roommate drama with his boyfriend!”

“You really think Connor has enough brain cells to do all that? The kid can barely remember what he has for breakfast most days,” Lou rolls her eyes. “Look, the best case scenario, he’s your soulmate and you guys get married and have a million kids.”

“I don’t even know if I want kids-”

“Fine, dogs, whatever. Worst case scenario, classes are all online this semester and you literally just don’t look at his face for the rest of the year.”

It’s a good point, and Will really is seriously considering it now, but there’s still one thing standing in the way.

“Okay, well, it’s not like I can really ask him out,” Will points out. “We’re barely allowed to leave our dorms, and I don’t know if a Zoom first date is the best idea.”

“Then just figure out a way to get his number. That way, you two can talk, and when this whole quarantine thing is over then you’ll be close enough that you can finally go on a date,” Cecil suggests.

Both Will and Lou Ellen nod enthusiastically.

“Cecil, that might be the smartest thing I’ve ever heard you say,” Lou says dreamily. 

“Now we just have to figure out a way for Will to get the balls to actually do it.”

Will gasps, fake hurt. “I’ll figure it out, thank you very much.”

They continue discussing their plan before Lou Ellen inevitably notices that they’re in fact, 15 minutes late to Intro to Writing.

As the three scramble into the Zoom meeting at the same time, Will may or may not notice Nico bite back a laugh. He decides being late was worth it.

—

When Will’s teacher put him and Nico in a breakout room together, Will knew this was probably his chance.

That is until he has to go and make a fool of himself.

“I like your duck tree,” is the first thing Nico says when they enter the room, referencing the mini fake Christmas tree (even though both him and Connor are Jewish) that’s covered in all sorts of rubber ducks behind him. It was their 3am creation after moving into the dorm, which featured a midnight run to the dollar store and two noise complaints from their neighbors.

And, because Will can’t take anything seriously, he makes the mistake of talking.

“Thanks,” he says, then before he can stop himself, “Did you know they have curly dicks?”

Nico snorts. “What?”

Realizing what he said, Will just has to push through. “The ducks. It’s like a corkscrew shape.”

“Ah, gotcha,” Nico nods. “Is that your topic for your paper?”

Maybe explaining himself wasn’t a good idea.

“Nope, just, uh, something I learned in Biology when I was a freshman.”

Nico nods again. “Cool. So what is everyone’s topic?”

Yup, he blew it. Asking Nico out might take another decade now, or however long it takes for Will to regain his dignity after that interaction.

—

It’s another few weeks before Will actually sees Nico in person for the first time.

Ever since their breakout room conversation, he had only interacted with the boy if it was for class. Slowly but surely, he was healing from that mess of a first introduction.

That, of course, all went out the window after Will nearly ran straight into him on the way to his dorm after spending the weekend with Lou Ellen at her parent’s house. Meanwhile, Nico must have been on his way out.

Will almost didn’t recognize him when they bumped into each other, too panicked about running straight into someone he didn’t know. Once he recognized the wavy black hair and olive-toned skin, he knew immediately who it was.

Nico was shorter than he had thought he would be, almost a whole half foot smaller than Will, but that didn’t make him any less attractive. In fact, he was so, so much cuter in person than over a screen.

“Hey,” Nico grins. “Duck penis kid.”

Will ran straight into that one.

“I have a name, you know,” he narrows his eyes. “And like, actual interests.”

“Besides ducks and their breeding habits?”

“Yes, besides that. I wouldn’t exactly consider that an interest.”

Nico raises an eyebrow as if he’s skeptical, but his smile gives it all away.

“Well, I do know your name, William,” he says, and Will nearly passes out right then and there. “Do you know mine?”

“It says your name on Zoom, Nico,” he responds as casually as he possibly can. “And it’s- it’s just Will, actually.”

“That’s not what it says on your Zoom name.”

“Well, that’s-” Will flushes. “That’s because I don’t know how to change it.”

“Well, I guess you'll have to remind me to teach you if we’re ever in a breakout room together again,” Nico laughs. “I’ll see you around, Will.”

He heads off, and before he can stop himself, Will calls after him.

“Wait!”

Nico spins on his heel at the bottom of the next staircase, looking up at him with those dark eyes. For a moment, Will completely forgets what he wants to say.

“Um, would you want to, uh, play GamePigeon sometime over iMessage?” he offers. It was the ‘foolproof’ invitation that Lou Ellen had come up with, considering it’s something they did on a near-daily basis.

“Intro to Writing isn’t the most interesting class— well, maybe you think it is, I don’t know— but maybe, if you want a distraction one day…?” he continues, trailing off hopefully at the end.

Nico winces. “Oh, uh, I don’t have an iPhone, sorry,” he says, holding up his Samsung as proof. There are two little charms hanging off the phone case: a small rainbow and a skull, which makes Will melt a bit. Unfortunately, it doesn’t help his case at all.

“Oh, okay, then can I maybe get your number? Just… in general?”

Nico grins, raising his eyebrow again. “Are you asking me out, Solace?”

Will fights the heat creeping to his cheeks at the use of his last name. “Um, yes? If you want? We can’t really go out right now, Nit we could just talk? See if we work as friends and then maybe reconsider that date thing if you’re up for it? Because, uh, I think you’re cute, and we’re both queer, and I noticed your Ramones shirt the other day which is super cool because my dad introduced me to that band, so there’s something we have in common. And, uh, we can talk about whatever else you’re into, but I just thought I would take my chance because I’m into… you,” he rambles out.

Nico just blinks, and Will wonders if this was the best or dumbest decision he’s ever made.

“Or… or not,” he adds on, just in case.

Nico laughs, which is totally adorable, but also totally activates Will’s fight or flight. Before he can escape to his dorm, though, Nico holds out his hand.

“Solace, please,” he says, still in the same light, laugh-y tone. It takes a second to activate in Will’s brain that he’s asking for his phone to put his number in.

Oh.

Will steps down the staircase until he’s at the same level as Nico, pulling his phone out of his bag and handing it to the boy.

Nico stares at it. “Uh, you might want to put your passcode in first.”

“Right, right, sorry,” Will takes it back, unlocking his phone and finding the contacts app so Nico can put in his number.

This time when he hands it back, he’s smiling again. 

“See you in the Zoom call,” he tells Will, before turning the corner around the staircase, and Will realizes he should probably get back to his dorm if he wants to make his 7:00 Chem class.

It isn’t until he’s back in his room, listening to his professor drone on about chemical properties when he finally opens his phone. He taps on the contacts app, just checking to make sure the entire interaction wasn’t a fever dream.

Just as he expected, a new number is embedded in his contacts. Nido di Angelo. Next to the name, the duck emoji and the eggplant emoji.

Yeah, he was never going to live that down.

—

solangelo tag list (message to be added/removed): @unicornsgomooo @anxiouswinter @soulangelou @number-of-fucks-i-give-0 @underworldystuff @theeloquentsnake @solangelover@thefandomsaretakingover @internallyexplodingrainbows​ @hairasuntouchedaspartoftheamazon​ @motivatedcryptidtamer @emilyfairchild @wherethewildthingsare-nt @hetapeep41 @blavk-dahlia

[rpf-bat]

Underground, Getting Down

Pairing: Gerard Way x Reader

Genre: Fluff

Summary: Written for Gothtober 2020, Day 14. Prompt: “Symphony”. 

You’re a flutist, playing in the New York subway for tips. Gerard watches one of your performances, and decides that his next single, needs a mad flute solo. 

Beneath the streets of New York, the subway station bustled, filled with people. Some moved up the stairs, towards the streets, and others down the steps, towards the trains. Everyone in the crowd was rushing on to their next destination. At the base of the staircase, you stood, playing your flute. 

Your flute case sat propped open on the tiles in front of you. A few bills already lined the inside. A young woman dropped another fiver in, as you played Bach’s ‘Flute Sonata in A Minor’. 

You lifted your face from the instrument for a moment, to call out, “Thank you!” 

The woman had already turned away from you, rushing down the corridor to catch the E train. You shrugged, returning your lips to the flute’s embouchure hole. Even the best buskers, rarely made someone stop in their tracks. The song ended. 

I think I’ll mix it up, you decided, do something more pop for the next song. 

You picked the Bach sheet music up off your stand, placing it back in your bag. Then, you pulled out the sheet music for Jethro Tull’s ‘No Lullaby’.  This one was usually more impressive-sounding, when you had your friend, who played guitar, with you to do the intro. But, he was busy today, at his day job at Starbucks. You would just have to launch right into your solo. 

Your fingers danced over the keys, as the music echoed off the walls of the tunnel. You found your mind wandering, as you played. 

I really thought, when I graduated, that I was gonna play for the New York Philharmonic, you recalled wistfully. But, the auditions for first chair ended up being competitive as hell. Instead of playing high society symphonies, I just play out here, for the commuters and hobos. 

It wasn’t what you had dreamed of - but it was a living. 

As you continued your song, you felt a pair of eyes watching you. You glanced up from your songbook, and realized that a man was sitting, eerily still, on the steps. Hurried people were practically tripping over him, but he didn’t move, to get out of their way.  He stayed exactly where he was. He didn’t look homeless, you considered. His face was hidden by thick aviator sunglasses, but his clothes suggested wealth. He was staring at you, with rapt attention, as if your flute, was the only sound in the world. 

You found yourself blushing under his steady gaze, as the song concluded. You lowered your flute-holding arm to your side, and looked at the stranger again, curiously. 

“Bravo!” he cried, clapping, and jumping up. “You were amazing!” 

He walked over, and dropped a handful of bills, into your case. 

Wait, what? All of those are hundreds!, you realized, eyes widening. Who the hell is this guy?

He pulled the sunglasses off his face, shaking his long, dark hair out of his eyes as he did so. Your jaw dropped, when you realized you recognized him. 

“Hi,” he said casually, “my name’s Gerard Way.” 

“I….I know who you are,” you stammered, scarcely believing this was real. Your inner emo kid was screaming. “What are you doing in New York?” 

“Visiting family,” Gerard shrugged. “Well, technically, they live on the Jersey side of the river. But, I always have to stop by Forbidden Planet, when I’m in town.” 

“Oh, you mean the comic shop, on Broadway?” you nodded. “Yeah, they’re pretty cool. I….I’m Y/N, by the way.”

“Nice to meet you, Y/N,” Gerard grinned. “I really enjoyed that song, that you just did.” 

“I….uh, really enjoy your music, too,” you said awkwardly. You didn’t want to sound like a fangirl.

“I’m actually working on some new music right now,” Gerard revealed. 

“What?” you blinked. “Really? Wasn’t your last album in like…..2014?” 

“Yeah, Hesitant Alien was four years ago, already!” Gerard chuckled. “I think I’m definitely overdue for something new!” 

“Oh, wow,” your heart hammered excitedly. “I can’t wait to hear the new record, when it comes out!”

“I don’t know if I’m gonna do a whole second album,” Gerard confessed. “I think I’m just gonna put a couple singles out, and see how it goes.”

“I….I see,” you mumbled. This was crazy. Why was he telling all this, to a random busker, that he just met? 

“I wanted to thank you,  Y/N,” Gerard went on. “There’s this song I’ve been working on, for a couple months now. it’s just not sounding right to me, quite yet. You helped me realize what it’s missing.”

“And, what is that?” you wondered, still feeling bewildered. 

“A flute solo,” Gerard grinned. 

“Huh?” you gasped. “Who uses flute music, in a rock n roll song? I mean, besides Jethro Tull?” 

“I love Jethro Tull,” Gerard laughed. “But, for real, it’s not that weird. Billy Corgan had some flutes on ‘Drum + Fife’, on the album Monuments To An Elegy.”

“Oh, true,” you remembered. “Didn’t that drop in 2014, too?” 

“Yeah, I actually got to open for him, on that tour!” Gerard said excitedly. “That was when I decided that I wanted to bring a flute into one of my own songs, someday.” 

“Wow,” you realized, “You’re serious about this.” 

“I am,” Gerard said, looking you in the eyes. “But….can we talk about this somewhere else? I’m worried if I stay in one place much longer, somebody is gonna spot me, and start asking for pictures.” 

“Oh, uh, sure!” you nodded. 

“I think if we go up to the street level, there’s a coffee shop, like, right outside,” Gerard suggested. 

“You’re…..asking me to get a cup of coffee with you?” you grasped. Was this a date?

“Yeah,” Gerard said, turning red, as he awkwardly combed his fingers through his hair. “Is, uh, is that okay with you?”

“......Absolutely,” you smiled. “Just let me put my flute away!”

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Gerard had insisted on carrying your flute case for you, despite the short walk. He was such a gentleman. You did not, however, allow him to buy your cup of coffee for you. He’d already given you that absurd tip, when he first strolled over to your busking spot. 

You stared at him across the table, as he sipped his latte. This still felt entirely unreal. 

“So, the song I’m working on,” Gerard explained, “It’s called ‘Getting Down The Germs.’”

“...Germs?” you repeated, confused. 

“The lyrics are still a work in progress,” Gerard admitted. He dug into the pocket of his green coat, and pulled out a small, tattered-looking notebook. He opened it to a page near the back, and pushed it towards you. “This is what I have so far.”

You took the book gingerly, feeling as if you’d been handed a holy text. The words on the page, were written in a surprisingly untidy scrawl:

It's never the same and the nights always glow

There's nothing to see and nowhere to go

It's easy to say you're happier when you're disturbed

The green lights in your head

Getting down the germs

I'm lazy and tame and the chimes always blow

A glimmering sound on the breeze when you go

It's never a shame and I've learned to live with the worms

Underground

Getting down the germs

“That sounds really good so far,” you complimented. “I’m guessing that’s supposed to be the chorus?” 

“Yeah,” Gerard nodded. “I usually write the choruses first. The verses, I’m still figuring out.” 

“Makes sense,” you replied, as you sipped your drink. “What about the melody?” 

“Oh, the melody’s pretty much completely done,” Gerard clarified. “But….I don’t know. There’s this bridge that comes before the second verse. I originally planned for that to be a guitar solo, but it just doesn’t sound right.”

“You think the solo would sound better, played on a flute?” you surmised. 

“Yeah, exactly!” Gerard said enthusiastically. You wondered if the caffeine was getting to him. 

“....Do you even know how to play the flute?” you asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“No,” Gerard shook his head. “But, you do.”

“....What are you saying?” you blinked. 

“That’s why I asked you to come up here with me,” Gerard explained. “Y/N…..would you be willing to go into the studio with me, and record a flute solo, for the track?” 

You choked on your drink. 

“Wh….What?” you wheezed, coughing from the coffee that had gone down the wrong way. “A-Are you serious?” 

“....Can you breathe?” Gerard asked, putting a concerned hand on your shoulder. 

“Yeah, I can breathe,” you managed, trying not to hyperventilate even more.  

“Good,” Gerard smiled, “because I am serious, Y/N. Your flute playing really impressed me. I won’t drag you all the way out to LA, of course. But, if I find a studio space, here in New York, will you work with me?”

“Yes!” you cried. “Oh my god, yes!” 

This wasn’t what you had dreamed of - it was more. 

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

A few days later, you found yourself in a recording studio, in Lower Manhattan. You’d never seen so much professional equipment like this before. You’d always just performed for live audiences.

Can I really do this?, you asked yourself, hit with a wave of uncertainty. 

“Y/N, thank you so much for coming out here, and joining us today,” Gerard greeted you. His smile, somehow instantly put you at ease. 

“This is Doug McKean,” he introduced, indicating a man in the corner. “He’s my producer.” 

“Nice to meet you, Doug,” you said politely, shaking hands. 

“And this is Ian Fowles,” Gerard said, indicating a second guy, with longer hair. “He was my touring guitarist, when I went on the road with Hesitant Alien.” 

“Oh, I remember seeing him, when you guys played Irving Plaza,” you recalled. 

“You were at that little gig we did, in Union Square?” Ian smiled. 

“Yeah, of course I bought a ticket!” you smiled back. “You guys were amazing!” 

“Aw, you really think so?” Gerard reddened, looking flattered. 

“I really do,” you replied. My Chemical Romance had been your favorite band, since your teens. When they had broken up, five years ago, you had been heartbroken. But, you’d found Gerard’s solo work, to be equally amazing - just in a different way. 

“Well, thank you, Y/N,” Ian said quietly. “Has Gerard explained to you, what we’re going to be doing today?” 

“Yeah, he said he wants me to do a flute solo for you guys,” you said, almost not believing your own words. 

“Let’s start from the beginning of the song,” Doug directed. “Ian, can you take us from the top, please? I know we got a great take of your part yesterday, but I feel like we can still do better.” 

“Definitely,” Ian agreed. He shrugged his guitar strap over his head, and stepped into the recording booth. You listened intently, as he played the opening notes. The tune was definitely different from anything MCR had done. But, it didn’t sound quite like Hesitant Alien, either. You were intrigued by the new musical direction that Gerard seemed to be heading in. 

“Alright, cut,” Doug called, pressing a button, to stop recording. “Ian, that was good. Gerard, it’s your turn to get in there. I want to hear that verse you were working on the other day.”

“Alright,” Gerard nodded. You watched him put his headphones over his ears, and timidly approach the microphone. A blush crept into his cheeks. Did it make him nervous, to have you, as an audience? 

“The answer’s always no,” Gerard sang, “to questions of a private nature…...the lights are always low, in settings of a conversation…..” 

He seemed to grow more confident, as the song continued. By the time he got to the chorus, he was belting it out. He sounded incredible. 

“....How was that?” he asked finally. 

“Amazing,” you breathed. 

Gerard’s cheeks reddened at your compliment. He stayed quiet, as he watched Doug take the vocal track, and mix it with Ian’s guitar playing. He played back the clip, of the two spliced together. The parts formed an even more impressive whole. 

“Alright, Y/N, it’s your turn,” Doug commanded. “Show us what you can do.” 

You gulped. You weren’t sure that you could do anything, that was on the same level, as what you just heard. 

“You can do it,” Gerard encouraged. “You played an amazing solo, in front of a whole station worth of people yesterday. Playing for three dudes like us, should be nothing.” 

That’s different, you thought to yourself. I don’t have a huge crush on everyone in the station.

“Here’s the sheet music,” Ian said, handing you a piece of paper. “I really like what Gerard’s composed here. But, I think he’s right. It’s going to sound better on your instrument, than mine.”

You took the sheet, and grabbed the flute case, out of your backpack. Taking a deep breath, you walked into the booth. Your fingers trembled on the middle joint of the flute. You glanced up at Gerard, who was sitting on the other side, of the pane of glass. 

He gave you a friendly smile, and a dorky-looking thumbs-up. You chuckled, your nerves dissipating. 

Alright, you told yourself. I got this. You brought your lips to the head joint, and began to play. 

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

“I don’t know,” you said, as you stepped back out of the booth. “Do you think that was okay?”

“That was incredible,” Gerard gushed, pulling you into an impulsive hug. His arms were so soft and warm. 

“Like, wow, what are you?” Ian gaped. “The secret lovechild of Ian Anderson, or something?” 

“Ha, I wish,” you laughed. “I’m just your average band kid.” 

“I wouldn’t call that average,” Gerard insisted, staring into your eyes, as he still held you close. “I was right….the flute just fits perfectly in with the song. And you’re the perfect person to play it.”

“Y/N, I can show you what the guitar and the flute will sound like together,” Doug offered, “If you could, uh, let go of her for a moment, Gee.”

“O-oh, right,” Gerard stammered, releasing you quickly. You blushed, and turned away. 

Doug began to play the edited-together track for you. You couldn’t believe it - your flute, Ian’s guitar, and Gerard’s vocals, blended together, into something incredibly beautiful. 

“I wasn’t sure if the flute was going to go well, with your style of music,” you confessed. “My background is the symphony orchestra. Most of the time, you only really see the flute, used in classical music, like that. I wasn’t sure if you could make it sound rock n’ roll. But...it works! Somehow.” 

“It does,” Gerard agreed. “Y/N…..I’m so, so glad that I met you.”

His eyes sparkled as he looked at you. It made your heart pound, for reasons you couldn’t articulate. 

“Y/N,” Doug said, bringing you back to reality, “that first take was great, but I’d like you to try it again for me, please.”

“Of course,” you acquiesced. “I’ll give it as many takes as it needs.” 

“I feel like we could all use some coffee first, though,” Ian decided. “Doug? You want to run down the street with  me, to get it?”

“Yeah, I guess it’s our turn, since Gerard ran and got the last round,” Doug agreed. “Y/N - what can we get you?”

“Oh, just a vanilla latte, I guess,” you decided. 

“Coming right up,” Ian smiled. “We’ll be right back.” 

The guitarist and producer got up and left. Your pulse quickened again, as you realized, that you were now alone in the room with Gerard. It felt different, than it had at the station, or the coffeeshop. Both of those times, there were plenty of other people around. But now…..?

“It’s just you and me,” Gerard said softly. He was still staring at you. 

“Y-Yeah,” you said nervously. “I guess we got quite a day ahead of us, huh?”

“Yup,” Gerard said awkwardly. “Doug’s not gonna let you leave, until you get your part just right.” 

“.....Gerard,” you asked, “why did you pick me for this job? You could have gotten anyone to play flute for you. I’m nobody.” 

“I told you, your performance got my attention,” Gerard reminded you. “I was just passing through the station, minding my own business. But, when I heard the sound of your flute…..I stopped still. I was like, oh my god, this is the sound that I’ve been looking for.” 

“Was it really that great?” you asked, feeling unsure of yourself. 

“Yes!” Gerard insisted. “Y/N, I swear to god, it was like I was hypnotized. By that incredible sound….and by the beauty, of the person making it……” 

“Beauty?” you repeated, your face going hot. Did he mean…..?

“I won’t lie to you,” Gerard said softly. “The moment I laid eyes on you, in that subway tunnel, I was so attracted to you.” 

“You think I’m attractive?” you realized, eyes going wide. 

“Yes,” Gerard whispered, looking you up and down, with evident desire. “I’m sorry…..you probably think I’m just a creepy, older dude….” 

“You’re not creepy!” you shook your head. “Gerard, I’ve always thought that you were extremely good-looking.” 

“You’re…..attracted to me, too?” Gerard put two and two together. 

You weren’t sure which of you took a step towards the other first, but, before you knew it, you were in his arms. He kissed you gently, but your body quickly responded to him, and the kiss rapidly turned more passionate.

He pressed you against the studio wall, his hands trailing down your body, as the kiss continued. 

“.....G-Gerard,” you gasped. “The others could walk back in, at any minute.” 

“If they interrupt us,” Gerard said, his voice husky, “we could always continue this, at my hotel, after the recording session is over.” 

“Are you serious?”

“Yeah,” Gerard panted, as your lips found his neck. “Oh, fuck, yeah…..I got a room at a five star hotel in Times Square, that I would love to show you.”

“When do you have to go back to LA?” you asked, gasping for breath, as he kissed you again. 

“I’m supposed to go home on Saturday,” Gerard confessed. “But, if you keep kissing me like that….I might just miss the flight.” 

[maximura]

[english isn’t my first language so i’m sorry if i didn’t explain myself well or my choice of words were not the best :3 ]

i saw you’re post about kingdom and as much as i hate to admit it i actually agree with you,,

i don’t understand the system of the points like ?? i dont stan either sf9 or ikon but for the life of me i cant understand why they scored so low.. allegedly mnet said that the votes are made by judges and the other groups competing on the show but i cant understand why ikon ranked so low.. it was very clear that the other groups enjoyed their performance going as far as saying that they hope ikon ranks high and as for sf9 you can see the passion and improvement of this stage compared to the intro stage...

don’t get me wrong i love stray kids and they did absolutely amazing on their stage however i feel like there was something missing in their stage i just cant put my finger on it... and not to be *that* person but for some reason this performance of stray kids reminded me a lot of oneus’ performance of “be mine” during rtk..

ALSO, i cant comprehend why the fandoms are fighting (this is a call out to people on stan twt) like i thought we agreed that mnet and their management is trash ?? so why ? are ? we ? wasting ? our ? energy ?? mnet WANTS the fandoms to clash because it kinda encourages being competitive

if the fandoms are competitive = more publicity and views

ALSO the views being part of the criteria of the votes is so stupid !! highkey think mnet only included it in the criteria for the ad revenue

idk these are all personal opinions, i would love to hear about what you think :>

It can’t be based on views because IKON consistently do way better/as good as most of the other groups except SKZ. I like to think that some of us are smarter about this whole competition because this is a deliberate/pre-planned Drama designed by MNET to get more views and revenue. I don’t understand what’s the point in wasting energy in fighting. That’s exactly what they want. 

I don’t watch anything but the individual performance videos (with no reactions/comments edited into it). I don’t understand the points system nor do I care. I also don’t care about the judges opinions. 

I’m a minimalist though. I just want to the talent shine through. I don’t care about props or acrobatics. It’s not a Prop Competition. But that’s just me. People will enjoy Kingdom however they want. 

We know either SKZ or ATEEZ are winning this. I knew that before this even started. I’m not going to be mad about it or anything because they put a high level of effort into all their stages so far but well, I’m still a little sore about Hyunjin and Mingi not being there. There is something missing. You’re not alone in that thought. But considering what both groups have been through, it’s understandable. 

IKON and BTOB ain’t winning shit. We know this too. I’m not mad about it. I just want these guys to have fun. IKON has been through so many survival shows, I highly doubt they’re going to really care about being ranked as losers when their views have been great. The discordance says it all. 

I’ve been an IKON fan since the beginning and they’re never been one for major props/theatrics/acrobatics. It’s just not their style. So if that’s a major criteria in Kingdom, they can expect to rank poorly. 

Anyways. I will look on the bright side of all this. Exposure is good for all their careers. Sympathy votes also counts for a lot haha. I’m not gonna play MNETs game. I’m already a very bitter angry person most of the time so no no MNET, I know your game now bro. 

I invite everyone to enjoy this hilarious masterpiece with me. 

[staircasttext]

Ep 20 Transcript: Don't Put Cobwebs on Your Cat

Episode 20

[intro music]

PAZ: Hi everyone, welcome back to Stairway to Starclan, a Warriors Cat reread pawdcast. I'm Paz.

JULIAN: I'm Julian.

LIZ: And I'm Liz.

PAZ: And we are here today to discuss-- fuck, I wanted to say Fire and Ice again. Forest of Secrets, chapter 11 through 14. Very dramatic chapters, I would say, especially after last week where I don't think much really happened.

JULIAN: A lot of secrets in this here forest.

PAZ: They just keep happening. You know, we've been watching Word of Honor, and like, people having, like, skins all the time. This is the same thing with I guess, too many fucking secrets. Too many guys here and there's too many secrets.

LIZ: Guys and sons.

PAZ: Too many forbidden children in Forest of Secrets, I would say.

JULIAN: It's dramatic parallels.

PAZ: I can go into the summaries now, if we're all...

LIZ: Sure.

PAZ: Good.

JULIAN: Yeah.

PAZ: Okay. Chapter 11. Fireheart and the rest of the patrol head back to camp after seeing that the river is flooded. They report to Bluestar, who holds a meeting about the flood and how dangerous it is, not just for ThunderClan, but everyone. She puts Tigerclaw in charge of sending patrols to see how far the flood reaches, and Fireheart and Graystripe volunteer so that Graystripe can secretly check on Silverstream. At Sunningrocks, they find some kits trapped in the flood, and Fireheart tries to swim to them. Graystripe is terrified of the river, since he almost drowned before, and can't go in. Fireheart is close to getting both kits to safety when he loses one under the water.

Chapter 12, Graystripe manages to save the drowning kit, and Fireheart gets the other kit to safety. They both decide to return the kits to RiverClan. When they reach RiverClan, they find out the kids belong to Mistyfoot. Leopardfur, another RiverClan warrior-- she's actually a deputy. Leopardfur, the RiverClan deputy--

LIZ: Shit.

PAZ: --is still suspicious of Fireheart and Graystripe, so she takes them to talk to Crookedstar. On the way there, they see that the RiverClan camp is flooded. Crookedstar is skeptical of their story, but Mistyfoot says it makes sense, so he grudgingly agrees. Fireheart offers to help, but Crookedstar refuses at first. Graypool and the medicine cat Mudfur reveal that the river has been poisoned by Twoleg trash, and that RiverClan cats have been getting sick from the fish. Fireheart is conflicted once again about clan loyalty, but remembers Bluestar's words about the welfare of all clans being important. He offers to catch prey for RiverClan until they can recover, and Crooked accepts.

Chapter 13, Fireheart and Graystripe are up early again to hunt for RiverClan secretly. Cloudkit follows them and begs to come along, but Fireheart tells him to stay home because he and Graystripe are doing a special warrior mission. Graystripe hopes Cloudkit won't reveal that he saw them.

At RiverClan, Silverstream asks Graystripe to feed the elders with her, while Fireheart helps Stonefur with the nursing queens. Fireheart thinks about how strange it is that Stonefur is half ThunderClan and half RiverClan, and how Stonefur doesn't even know. He goes to see Graystripe, who excitedly tells him that Silverstream is going to have his kits.

LIZ: Oh shit.

PAZ: [dully] Yay. Chapter 14, Fireheart is distressed about the news, because Graystripe won't ever be able to claim the kits as his and may even have to fight them someday because they're in another clan. Silverstream and Graystripe know they have to stay secret, but insist things will be okay. Fireheart is still worried, remembering everything with Mistyfoot and Stonefur.

On the way back to ThunderClan, Cloudkit shows up, proud because he successfully tracked Fireheart and Graystripe. He asks what they were doing in RiverClan territory, and Tigerclaw ominously emerges out of nowhere, asking the same thing. Fireheart says they wanted to check on the flood, but Tigerclaw doesn't believe him, questions Fireheart's loyalty again, says they're all in trouble, and takes them back to camp.

At camp, Tigerclaw tells Bluestar how he found one disobedient kit and two traitors. Bluestar allows Fireheart to explain to her in private without Tigerclaw. Cloudkit's punishment is helping the elders again, but Fireheart knows he enjoys it. Fireheart and Graystripe explain about saving RiverClan's kits and their food problems. Bluestar understands but says they've lied, broken the warrior code, and acted impulsively, so they will live as apprentices for now. She also seems very concerned and asks if any RiverClan warriors have died in the flood, (they haven't,) which puzzles Fireheart. And that's the end of the reading this week.

LIZ: Whew.

PAZ: I mean, we tweeted it, but my note in chapter 11 is just Graystripe, unimpressed face.

JULIAN: Yeah, I just have Graystripe, oh my god.

PAZ: Problems after problems. I'm gonna blame the flood on Graystripe too. I don't know how, but it's his fault.

JULIAN: Just like, buddy. Buddy, I know you're stressed about your girlfriend, but.

PAZ: Yeah, he's like, we have to go sneak off to RiverClan right now.

LIZ: Right now, immediately.

JULIAN: Right now this instant. It is nice that Bluestar is like, oh, you know, the flood is bigger than clan rivalry, because a lot of the ThunderClan cats are just like, fuck RiverClan. This flood is not a problem. And it's like, well, it is.

PAZ: Yeah, right? I think the elders are also like, yeah, this is everyone's problem. Floods are bad. I think we were saying last episode, like oh, RiverClan's camping on an island is great defense. Well, uh, except when it floods, I guess. I didn't think about that.

LIZ: No.

PAZ: What else happened in chapter 11? Hold on.

JULIAN: I mean there's the whole kit, there's the kit drama.

PAZ: Oh yeah, that's the start of it. There's so much baby endangerment in this series.

JULIAN: The child-- this was like very stressful to read.

PAZ: Yeah, it was upsetting.

LIZ: Like the way it ends is so... right?

PAZ: What, chapter 11?

LIZ: Yeah, chapter 11, when, like, ugh. You guys talked earlier like in the show about like wow, there's a lot of baby death or something. And I keep expecting it like right now, whenever right now is.

JULIAN: I also keep expecting it right now. Cause I know it's coming, but I just don't remember when it is. The RiverClan cats, when they bring the kits back, are like--

PAZ: I know.

JULIAN: --surprisingly laissez faire about like the return of these two kits that they thought were dead.

PAZ: Yeah, they're more like-- they're more emotional about being suspicious. Like, they're like, how dare you steal these kits, not like, oh my God, thank God they're alive.

JULIAN: It's like, hey, these children were-- you thought these children were dead and they're not. This is a miracle. What's wrong with you?

PAZ: These are like baby babies, too.

JULIAN: Yeah, they're still nursing.

PAZ: I want to find the description.

LIZ: They're just like, they're at the bean stage, you know?

PAZ: Here's the description. It's so sad. "They were both very small, still suckling from their mother. One was black and one gray, their fur plastered against their tiny bodies and their brilliant blue eyes wide with terror."

LIZ: No, they're so small.

JULIAN: Aw.

PAZ: Oh, they're so tiny.

LIZ: Save them.

PAZ: And Fireheart was like, they might be too young to even understand what I'm saying. They're so small.

JULIAN: Ahhh.

PAZ: I feel like this is the second time somebody has rescued a cat from a different clan from the river. And everyone's like, why the fuck would you do that, again. And it's like, why is this not just accepted? You don't let other people drown.

JULIAN: Right, like even if they're from a different clan, they're still, you know.

PAZ: Yeah, so weird.

LIZ: Like, they can see each other and not fight, so I don't get why this is such a big leap. Like, they have a conference.

JULIAN: It's so hard for me to tell what level of value is placed on life, I guess. Because on the one hand it's like, oh, you know, like, there's a lot of stuff about like, oh, the cat's lives are like the most important or whatever. But then like, they're very laissez faire about death.

PAZ: Yeah, I mean like babies die all the time apparently, I guess. I don't know. Maybe it's like how people were in the Middle Ages. It's like people die all the time. Gotta get used to it, I guess. Don't name our children until, like, five months after they're born or something.

LIZ: God.

JULIAN: Yeah, I wonder, like when kits get names.

PAZ: I have no idea. I feel like that's probably said more explicitly somewhere. I'm sure when babies of main characters are born we'll find that out.

LIZ: It's not like... Bluestar doesn't name all of them, does she?

PAZ: No, no, I think the moms name them.

JULIAN: Yeah, the mom gets to name the like prefix, and then the leader gets the like warrior suffix.

PAZ: Cloudkit was just a special situation cause his mother gave him up to this cult.

LIZ: God. What do you think his name could have been? It might just be like Snowball.

PAZ: Marshmallow.

LIZ: Marshmallow.

JULIAN: Aw.

LIZ: Beanbun.

PAZ: Beanbun?

LIZ: Custard.

PAZ: Mm, Custard.

LIZ: Whipped Cream.

PAZ: Pastry Cream.

JULIAN: We can pull back up that list of kittypet names.

LIZ: Jeremy.

PAZ: Jeremy.

JULIAN: He's a real Jeremy of a cat.

LIZ: Just like a normal guy name, like Donal...van.

PAZ: Don...

JULIAN: [laughter]

PAZ: Donalvan?

LIZ: Willothy.

PAZ: Hmm.

JULIAN: Just a guy.

LIZ: Ashtopher. Jake. Wait, shit.

PAZ: No, that's taken. They rescue the kits, thankfully. No child death yet.

LIZ: Mm-mm.

JULIAN: No child death.

LIZ: Not yet.

PAZ: They go back to RiverClan.

JULIAN: They go to RiverClan. RiverClan sucks.

PAZ: They suck and they're stupid.

JULIAN: Come on, y'all.

PAZ: Yeah, like it doesn't make sense, like why would-- they accuse them of stealing the kits, and it's like, why would they be walking back towards your territory if that were the case?

JULIAN: Right? Also who's kit stealing, like in the middle of a flood? Also, the specter of kit stealing has come up several times.

PAZ: I don't remember it being so prominent.

LIZ: No.

JULIAN: I don't remember it being so prominent either. But also like, we have yet to see or hear about like an actual instance of kit stealing

PAZ: Well, Broken....

JULIAN: Oh, okay Brokenstar.

PAZ: Brokenstar did it in the first book. Cause he was a sicko.

JULIAN: But he was comically evil.

PAZ: Yeah, he was a real sicko.

JULIAN: We haven't seen anyone like a little bit normal, do it.

PAZ: Yeah, I don't really see the-- I guess the advantage is like you get more warriors, but I don't know.

JULIAN: You have to feed them.

PAZ: Yeah, I mean, I forget who made the argument in RiverClan, but it's like why would they do that? It's winter and no one can feed themselves anyway. I don't know. I feel like if you're like, if you don't have enough warriors because your babies are already dying, stealing more is not going to help. It won't solve the health problems.

JULIAN: Right. You're just gonna kill those.

LIZ: I don't think so.

JULIAN: I just-- I feel like maybe you should, you know, look to your own clan and solve the problems that are leading to your kit death.

PAZ: If you want to steal kits, you should go steal kittypet kits because they're like ubermensch, because they'll be vaccinated. And you can create an army of super warriors.

JULIAN: There you go.

PAZ: That's what you need to be doing.

JULIAN: All the clan cats are like, oh, kittypets are so weak. And it's like, no.

LIZ: They're super.

JULIAN: They're never gonna get heartworm.

LIZ: No.

PAZ: Yeah, not gonna get rabies.

JULIAN: And they eat regularly. So I think they can take you.

PAZ: They won't suffer from malnutrition in their youth.

JULIAN: Fireheart does suggest sharing resources in this chapter, and I'm just like, oh, good for you.

PAZ: Yeah, it was very nice of Fireheart, but I'm also like, you're so stupid. Why would you say...

JULIAN: Oh, it's super dumb. It's like the dumbest idea he's ever had, but it is very sweet.

PAZ: His heart's so big, it overpowered his brain.

JULIAN: Like again, I think he's got the right idea about like, we should all band together as cats in the forest and pool our resources. However, you're gonna get your butt whooped.

LIZ: Yes, absolutely.

PAZ: Yeah, this wasn't even a like, oh, I'll go ask Bluestar about it.

LIZ: No.

PAZ: Because she already said like oh, this is a problem bigger than WindClan. He's just like, No, we'll do it. No worries.

LIZ: Fireheart.

JULIAN: I don't understand why they didn't tell Bluestar about saving the kits, like immediately. Surely she couldn't have gotten mad at them for that.

PAZ: Yeah, like that is not something that will get you in trouble because they're literal--

LIZ: Babies.

PAZ: Infants. I mean, I don't know, unless you're like a real sicko, but I... Bluestar has said like right before they left like, no fighting right now. Everyone's drowning. And then this chapter also brings up the weird specter of environmental pollution again with the RiverClan river. And I couldn't tell. I'm like, is this like pollution, or is it just like people are camping and throwing trash in the river, cause those are different levels of pollution.

JULIAN: Right, like how many people are dumping trash in the river that like all of the fish are poisoned?

PAZ: Yeah, like radioactive rat poison or something in the water. This is like the rural English countryside. What could they be dumping?

LIZ: Maybe it's like farm waste?

PAZ: Maybe.

JULIAN: That's possible. I'm looking at the map.

PAZ: Yeah, but I think it was specifically like, oh, Twolegs came to like hang out here or something upstream in a way that, like, sounded like, just like campgrounds to me.

LIZ: Yeah, like what did these individuals release?

PAZ: Exactly.

LIZ: God, what was that, um, like that clam or something? Like a mollusk that was like an invasive mollusk that was riding around in those moss balls?

JULIAN: Oh, zebra mussels.

PAZ: The zebra or whatever?

JULIAN: Zebra mussels.

LIZ: What if it was that?

PAZ: Oh no.

LIZ: One person with one aquarium like oh fuck, I gotta get rid of these moss balls.

JULIAN: Zebra mussels are super awful.

LIZ: Yes, they're terrible.

PAZ: Can cats eat mollusks? Hold on.

JULIAN: Oh yeah, I wonder if they--

LIZ: They might if they can open them.

JULIAN: How would they get them open?

PAZ: Well, I don't know, if you whack it against a rock.

LIZ: Well, how are they gonna whack it?

PAZ: Drop it from a high height. Can cats eat mollusks?

LIZ: Like an eagle.

PAZ: Yeah, exactly.

JULIAN: Or they can bang it on a rock.

PAZ: These cats have a society. They can get up high and drop a clam. Yes.

JULIAN: They could do it like otters do.

PAZ: They can have them as a treat or a small portion of their diets occasionally.

LIZ: As a treat.

PAZ: Can cats thrive on bivalves?

JULIAN: [typing] Do feral cats eat mollusks?

LIZ: Oh my god.

JULIAN: This is just giving me a lot of cat nutrition information which I don't care about.

PAZ: Can cats eat snails?

LIZ: Well, can they?

JULIAN: A lot of this is saying that cats will eat bugs.

PAZ: Oh yeah, Kip ate a fly for me the other day.

JULIAN: Aw, good for him.

PAZ: He's eaten a spider for me before. Yes, cats do eat snails.

LIZ: Oh.

PAZ: "It's an unusual thing, though, since a cat will likely play with it and leave it afterwards. If by playing, they could crack the snail out of his shell, the cat may eat it as a treat."

LIZ: God.

PAZ: "If you think that's all there is to snails, then you're wrong. Read on and see for yourself."

LIZ: Oh, oh my.

PAZ: Oh my gosh.

LIZ: Maybe the wild cats don't know about this.

PAZ: Yeah, get a little snail salad going on.

LIZ: Yeah, they've only been eating like, you know, prey, like mice and fish and stuff. They need to get into shellfish. England has snails. That has to happen.

JULIAN: England does have snails.

PAZ: "A simple stomp or a drop from an elevated platform can create a crack in the shell for cats."

JULIAN: Ah, how fun.

PAZ: "With a broken shell, it may be the end of the snail."

LIZ: Damn. RIP.

PAZ: I don't know how accurate this article is, but it's so funny.

JULIAN: It's very funny. I found a thing with a bunch of interviews about how cats got into eating fish, because wild cats are originally desert animals. David Critchard, from Exeter in Devon, UK: "I would say that cats like meat. The type is largely irrelevant. A friend and I once experimented with some domestic cats, both pampered house cats and feral cats from the farms on my friend's estate. The meat they liked most was offal, raw liver or kidney above all, but spleen and brains too."

LIZ: I guess they are full of... nutrients?

JULIAN: I guess.

PAZ: When I was a kid, I had a cat who would go outside, and he would catch mice and only eat the heads.

JULIAN: Oh god.

PAZ: And he'd just leave little like headless mice bodies.

LIZ: That's some sicko shit.

PAZ: Cats do eat insects, though. Why aren't they eating insects in Warriors?

JULIAN: Well, it's winter, so probably there aren't much in the way of insects.

LIZ: Maybe it's just little ones.

PAZ: A little snack.

JULIAN: Crunch crunch.

LIZ: Cat just eats like a line of ants. Gross.

JULIAN: I almost asked, are there bugs in England? Of course there are bugs in England.

LIZ: No, no, we gotta check on this. Is--

JULIAN: [typing] Bugs in the UK.

LIZ: I don't know. I don't think bugs discriminate very much.

JULIAN: Yeah, no, there's a lot of different kinds. See, there's a lot of grasshoppers and like dragonflies and damselflies, which does not solve, again, the winter problem.

LIZ: No.

PAZ: No.

JULIAN: But does solve like RiverClan's fish problem. Just eat a little--

PAZ: Sorry. Here's a website called upgradeyourcat.com.

LIZ: Oh my god.

JULIAN: Oh god.

LIZ: How?

PAZ: Biomechanical cat.

LIZ: Oh.

JULIAN: Oh.

LIZ: That's not what I wanted.

JULIAN: I thought this was going to be one of those things where it's like, if you feed-- because when I was googling clams I was seeing a lot of like, "feed your cat raw clams to increase their taurine equivalent."

LIZ: Eugh.

PAZ: I don't think you should actually do that.

LIZ: No.

PAZ: Just gonna put a disclaimer out there. Don't do that.

JULIAN: Not a vet. Don't do that.

LIZ: Just give your cat cat food.

PAZ: But anyway, I'm saying RiverClan should expand to alternative food sources.

JULIAN: They say bugs are the food of the future.

LIZ: Snails.

JULIAN: Yeah, I bet there's a lot of snails down by the water.

PAZ: I don't know why that one RiverClan, Blackclaw, was so aggro also.

JULIAN: Yeah, he like got right up in--

PAZ: After everyone else was like chill.

LIZ: Someone has to be, I guess.

PAZ: I'm like, are you going to be a problem later? Like who are you?

JULIAN: Is this the Longtail of RiverClan?

PAZ: Just a little bitch no one likes.

LIZ: I hate that guy. I'm a fan of you, baby rescuer. It's me. My name is Fish... tail. I think RiverClan cats should be more like fishy names.

PAZ: I don't know.

JULIAN: I would like to see some more eel-based names.

PAZ: Are there eels in England?

JULIAN: Oh yeah.

PAZ: Oh?

JULIAN: Yeah, there's a lot of them.

PAZ: Oh, they should eat eels.

LIZ: Oh yeah, cause there's eels in Dishonored, and they eat those. You know, basically the same thing.

JULIAN: Well, I was seeing in the interviews with all the people from England about cats eating fish, there were a lot of people who were like, yeah, my cat used to catch eels in the river.

PAZ: Wow.

LIZ: Oh my god. Well, imagine you're English. I know, terrible, and you get out of your little like--

JULIAN: Sorry to our British listeners.

LIZ: You get out of your little English home, and on your step is not a headless chipmunk but it's just like a whole eel. Thank you.

JULIAN: I'd be happier about a whole eel, tbh.

LIZ: Well, if you're English, you probably want to put it in a pie or something.

PAZ: This is slander.

LIZ: I've seen those videos about eel pie culture.

JULIAN: I'll eat an eel in a pie. Sorry, Liz.

LIZ: No, I support you. I'm not against eel. It's just a long fish.

JULIAN: Just a snake of the ocean.

LIZ: Yeah, it's the ocean carnivore's string cheese.

PAZ: [distastefully] Mm.

JULIAN: It's just like a noodle. You just slurp that shit up.

LIZ: Exactly. I couldn't think of any other long food.

PAZ: Noodle?

LIZ: Oh yeah.

JULIAN: You forgot about noodles?

LIZ: What were we talking about?

JULIAN: We were talking about RiverClan diversifying their protein sources.

PAZ: And Fireheart being dumb and saying we'll hunt for you.

JULIAN: Yeah, which immediately we see being a bad idea, because they have to wake up at ass o'clock and Cloudkit's nosy little ass is out here.

LIZ: It's like, where are you going? Can I come? Let me go. Oh, I can't? I'm gonna follow you.

PAZ: I love Cloudkit causing problems like not on purpose, but still causing problems.

LIZ: That's just children.

JULIAN: Yeah. It really has the energy of like-- and I think this is great in a kid's book-- but like your annoying little brother wants to go with you when you're doing something that you're not really supposed to be doing. You know, you and your friends are like, going to go to, I don't know, do something not bad but vaguely like not allowed, and you're stupid kid brother wants to come. And he's like, no, you can't come.

LIZ: Yeah, we're gonna sneak into old man Jimmy's haunted house.

JULIAN: Yep, there we go.

LIZ: Ugh, Cloudkit. Except he's not your younger brother, he's your nephew.

PAZ: What did they tell him? We're on like a secret Warrior mission?

JULIAN: A special warrior mission.

PAZ: You're not old enough to know about that, Cloudkit.

LIZ: They could have just said we're gonna go hunting somewhere else, and we gotta get there early.

JULIAN: Right, like the whole special warrior mission thing is like the dumbest idea because nothing is more guaranteed to make a kid incredibly curious. Oh, it's a secret.

PAZ: He should have just been like, oh, we're going to harvest--

LIZ: Butt weed.

PAZ: Garlic, I don't know. [snorts] Yep, that.

JULIAN: We're gonna do something very very boring. You can't come.

LIZ: We're going to a Zoom meeting, Cloudkit. Just a little concurrent humor for you guys.

PAZ: Cloudkit's so powerful, though. He tracked them all the way through the forest.

JULIAN: I know.

LIZ: Yeah, he's like this genius atheist baby.

PAZ: Cloudkit's gonna have a YouTube.

LIZ: No. Cloudkit's CinemaSins channel for ThunderClan and the warrior code.

JULIAN: Oh my God. Ding.

PAZ: I wish I knew what the warrior code was so I could make a joke, but it's not very clearly defined so.

LIZ: It's just, it's whatever the President says.

JULIAN: Definitely no feeding other clans allowed, though.

PAZ: Nope.

JULIAN: I was looking at the scene with Cloudkit, and we do have another good said alternative.

LIZ: Oh boy.

JULIAN: Which is, "'I hope Cloudkit doesn't tell the whole clan we went out early on a special mission,' puffed Graystripe."

LIZ: Awww.

PAZ: Have we done a said count for this book yet?

JULIAN: Oh, I don't think we have.

PAZ: OK, let's get the numbers on that.

JULIAN: So we have in this-- I don't know how many pages this book is. Many pages. Whole book, we have, drumroll please, 38.

LIZ: Oh.

PAZ: Oh my god.

LIZ: That's more than I expected.

PAZ: For the whole book, though?

JULIAN: Well, for the whole book, and none of them-- oh sorry, let's see.

PAZ: Is there a dialogue tag yet?

JULIAN: We have one dialogue tag.

LIZ: Oh my god. Who says--

PAZ: I think this is the first time. Who is allowed to say something?

JULIAN: It's Mistyfot. Mistyfoot.

PAZ: Wow.

LIZ: Mistythought.

PAZ: Mistythot.

[laughter]

JULIAN: Mistythot. "'They just want to talk to you,' Mistyfoot said gently, 'trust me.'"

PAZ: Wow, our first said. I think this is a different author than the previous two.

LIZ: Oh, they missed this in like the style guide checkover.

JULIAN: Right, no saids.

PAZ: Whoever it is is gonna get called into a meeting.

LIZ: 20 years later.

JULIAN: And then there are one or two, "so and so said nothing."

LIZ: Guess you can't say "so and so meowed nothing."

JULIAN: Yeah, but everything else is like, this person said this, and this cat said that.

PAZ: Congrats to Mistyfoot for the series first.

LIZ: Well done, Mistyfoot.

JULIAN: She's transcended cathood. She gets to say things.

PAZ: Wow. I do also want to read this description in chapter 13 right when they're leaving the camp, which is, "Tigerclaw was just a mound of dark tabby fur in his nest."

JULIAN: Aw.

LIZ: Oh my god.

JULIAN: Buddy.

LIZ: He is just a little guy.

PAZ: He is.

JULIAN: I want to scrumble him. Someone did-- one of our listeners did ask me what scrumble means cause I talked about it earlier. And I would just like to define scrumbling, which is just when you know, you get right in there and you go whrhrhrhhrh.

PAZ: That was an incredible noise.

LIZ: Oh my god.

JULIAN: Yeah, that's a scrumble.

LIZ: Thank you so much.

JULIAN: I guess, I mean the big next part of chapter 13 is pergante?

LIZ: The implication that Graystripe fucks.

JULIAN: I hate it.

LIZ: Ehh. I don't like it.

JULIAN: No wonder he's been sneaking out so much, to canoodle.

PAZ: [snorts] This man is not ready to be a father.

LIZ: No. He's like a teen, in spirit.

PAZ: This is a ill-advised like high school pregnancy.

JULIAN: God.

PAZ: Especially cause they've put no forethought into it. They're just like, yeah, it'll be fine. It'll all work out.

LIZ: How? How? How is it gonna work out? Is your dad just gonna visit you in secret every single day?

PAZ: Also both of them just heard about cats who were birthed in one clan and had to be taken to another, and how that has absolutely not worked out.

LIZ: Was it them or just Fireheart?

PAZ: Oh, you're right. You're right.

JULIAN: Oh, I think it was just Fireheart. Graystripe and Silverstream don't know.

LIZ: Now it's just like dramatic irony.

PAZ: I forgot she sent them-- who was that? Graypool?

LIZ: Yeah, Graypool.

PAZ: Yeah, I forgot she sent them away. Yeah, I mean, cause Fireheart does have that thought like, um, this has historically not worked out.

JULIAN: Yeah, the, like, disconnect in emotions I think is conveyed really well between like Graystripe just being like, [gleefully] I'm gonna be a dad! And Fireheart like, uhhhhhhh yeah?

LIZ: He doesn't even take care of his own student. How's he going to take care of a child?

PAZ: Well, I guess the point is he won't because he can't.

JULIAN: Yeah, he won't have to.

LIZ: Wow, kid's not even born yet and he's already a deadbeat dad.

PAZ: Good luck, Silverstream.

LIZ: Good luck, Graystripe junior.

PAZ: In explaining this. Hope you got that like Immaculate Conception excuse on hand.

LIZ: Silverstream's two baby Jesuses.

PAZ: StarClan willed it.

JULIAN: Oh god.

LIZ: Is she gonna have a fake husband?

JULIAN: Well, it's also like, I'm sure the cats must keep fairly good records of like who's whose parent because otherwise they would get incest so fast. So like, they have to know who the dad is. Silverstream!

LIZ: Is there a gay cat that's like, okay, we can work this out. I need a beard. You need legitimacy for your rival clan children. We can work something out.

PAZ: That'd be a good option.

JULIAN: It's such a mess. I was about to be like, oh, these cats need birth control. But they have birth control. It's when they get their balls cut off.

PAZ: Just saying, maybe Graystripe shoulda.... need a trap, neuter return program.

LIZ: What if there was like medicine cat birth control that was just like, here's some herbs, or like, here's a charm?

PAZ: God, I bet there is.

LIZ: That's extremely funny.

PAZ: I wonder if that ever comes up.

LIZ: I have like memories of reading YA fantasy books as a child, and then like them having birth control, but it was always like, here's a stone necklace. Here is a magic herb.

JULIAN: I'm remembering specifically like the Tamora Pierce like Alanna books where she gets like--

LIZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: She gets first like a necklace to stop her periods, and then she also gets like herbs or something at some point so that she can't get pregnant.

LIZ: God.

PAZ: I want a necklace to stop my period.

JULIAN: I know, right?

PAZ: It'd be so easy.

LIZ: I'm gonna put on my necklace, and I'm gonna chomp some cilantro or whatever, and I'm good.

JULIAN: So I am searching the Warriors wiki for birth control.

[laughter]

LIZ: Oh, they wouldn't call it that, though.

JULIAN: Oh, no, nothing has come up. I am getting a prompt: "create the page 'birth control' on this wiki."

LIZ: Oh my god.

PAZ: Hold on. Maybe we need to just generally google this. Warrior.

LIZ: If it doesn't exist, can we make it?

PAZ: Cats, birth. Yeah, it's a stone necklace.

JULIAN: That's just a collar to mark that your balls have been cut off.

PAZ: Hmm. I'm not getting any hits.

JULIAN: I mean, it's also like, the age group for these books is maybe a little young to be...

LIZ: But like, fans I feel would've-- there's someone out there who's thought extensively about the larger implications of this, like the real magical medicine worldbuilding stuff.

PAZ: Here's somebody mentioning "Birth Control in Warrior Cats: An In-depth Appledusk Defense." Oh?

LIZ: Who's Appledusk?

PAZ: I don't know.

LIZ: That's a fun name.

JULIAN: I feel like we've stumbled upon some discourse we never knew about.

LIZ: Oh hell yeah.

PAZ: It won't let me see the page.

LIZ: No! Is there a cached version?

PAZ: Here maybe, maybe-- I'll send the link if anyone can look at it on their computer.

JULIAN: I'll look on the Wayback Machine. I would like to draw attention. I was looking at the medicine page on the Warriors wiki, and there is a little underlined and bolded note. "It has been noted by Erin Hunter that these remedies should never be used on pet cats, and that sick pets should be seen by a vet instead."

LIZ: Don't put cobwebs on your cat.

JULIAN: Oh, Appledusk is a character.

PAZ: Like someone's OC?

JULIAN: No, it's a real one, I think.

LIZ: Oh shit. Is it spoilers?

PAZ: I don't know this character.

JULIAN: What is this? Alright. Warriors wiki. Who the fuck is Appledusk? Appledusk.

LIZ: Oh.

JULIAN: Is... who the fuck is Darkstar? This is from Mapleshade's Vengeance.

PAZ: Oh, okay.

LIZ: Okay, I Control-Fed birth control for this article, and it just says there is no birth control.

PAZ: Damn. Sorry, there's a cat named Eeltail.

LIZ: Oh my God.

JULIAN: Yes, yes!

LIZ: Yes!

PAZ: Wow. Did somebody like do child murder? Well, that's what you get when there's no birth control, I guess.

JULIAN: Oh, Appledusk did a cross clan relationship.

PAZ: Gotta stop-- they gotta just make it legal because everyone is doing it.

LIZ: I think it makes sense because to stop the interbreeding stuff, right, because they're cats. I don't know. No incest.

PAZ: Yeah, also like--

JULIAN: Oh geez.

PAZ: Diversify your genetic pool.

LIZ: Yeah, please.

JULIAN: This is brutal.

LIZ: You're gonna get sick.

JULIAN: Sorry.

PAZ: Yeah, I think we might be reading this book because I've seen--

LIZ: Yes.

JULIAN: I'll stop reading.

PAZ: It seems like there's a real sicko female character. And you know I love those.

JULIAN: She seems great. I want to read this book.

PAZ: Yeah, she has a lot of, like, animated videos on YouTube.

LIZ: Oh, AMVs set to like, "Bad Guy"?

PAZ: Yeah, and like, "I Can't Decide" by the Scissor Sisters. Stuff like that.

LIZ: Is there one for "Toxic?" "Toxic."

PAZ: There has to be.

LIZ: Have we searched Warrior Cats "Toxic" AMV?

PAZ: I don't think so.

JULIAN: Let's go, baby.

LIZ: It wouldn't be called AMV. It's called a MAP, right?

JULIAN: Yeah, but if you just search-- yeah, there's one set to Tox-- there's one for this character set to "Toxic."

PAZ: Perfect.

JULIAN: We've also got one for Ashfur.

LIZ: Oh, there's so many.

JULIAN: Oh, sorry. Two separate ones for Mapleshade.

PAZ: Fuck yes.

LIZ: Okay, good for Mapleshade.

PAZ: Oh, that's what I like to hear.

LIZ: Mm-hmm. A lot of these are pretty recent.

PAZ: I think her super edition? I think it's a super edition-- is fairly recent.

LIZ: Do you think it's like actually "Toxic" or is it like that--

PAZ: That weird cover?

LIZ: That shitty cover, yeah.

PAZ: I trust that Warriors Cats fans would use the real thing.

JULIAN: Well, one of the Mapleshade ones is the shitty dark version.

PAZ: No!

LIZ: Nooo. This is so sad.

JULIAN: I know. And the Ashfur one is also the original.

LIZ: Okay, good.

JULIAN: Not the original, sorry, but the weird--

PAZ: Why do people always use that weird cover?

JULIAN: It's like a weird like music box.

LIZ: I guess that seems real like edgy, to like, 13 year olds. Oh wow, it's--

PAZ: The original's a classic.

LIZ: Yeah. I'm sure-- listen, no slander to 13-year-olds. Someone out there is like, well, actually the original slaps. Because it does.

JULIAN: It does. It's so good. Where were we?

LIZ: No idea.

PAZ: We were talking about birth control.

LIZ: Oh, right.

JULIAN: Ah yes.

PAZ: It doesn't exist. Silverstream's pregante. This is going to go so badly.

LIZ: I mean, it's not like-- not every cat mates for life. She could just get someone to be like, sure, no problem. You're my friend. I'll do you a solid.

PAZ: Yeah, but she better do it fast.

JULIAN: Yeah, she's got a timeline. Tick tock. How long are cats pregnant for?

PAZ: Less than humans, obviously.

LIZ: Like a month?

JULIAN: Gestation period 58 to 67 days. So she's got like three months.

PAZ: She's gotta build up this fake romance stat. She has to start something right now to make the timeline line up right.

LIZ: God.

JULIAN: I mean, maybe she could say something about like, oh, the kits were born early. They're just really big.

PAZ: God. There's gonna be more gray cats, guys.

LIZ: Oh my god.

JULIAN: Noooooo.

PAZ: All these fucking gray cats.

LIZ: This is so fucking confusing. I mean, a lot of gray and white cats.

JULIAN: Which I don't think of as being the most common cat colors.

PAZ: I thought tabby was the most common.

JULIAN: I mean, is that like, you know, is this a UK difference? Are there more gray cats in the UK?

PAZ: I don't know. I don't think so.

LIZ: Okay, animalfriends.co.uk says the most common colours, with a U, are brown, gray, and orange, but also there are variations of tabby.

PAZ: I see.

LIZ: Oh my god. There's a type of tabby called mackerel tabby. What does that look like?

JULIAN: Oh that's, um, it's the ones where they have the little M on their foreheads.

LIZ: Wait, don't they all have M?

JULIAN: Not always.

LIZ: Oh.

PAZ: Oh. I thought they all had Ms.

LIZ: For meow. Aw.

JULIAN: Oh wait, no, I've lied. I'm sorry. I thought the M was the mackerel, but.

LIZ: So they do all have Ms?

PAZ: I think so.

JULIAN: Most of them do. Mackerel is very specifically the stripes that run off the spine like a mackerel's like ribs.

LIZ: Oh that's cute. Fishy. There should be more mackerel tabbies in RiverClan, then.

PAZ: Yeah, instead of all these gray cats.

LIZ: Yeah, ThunderClan should have all the gray cats like a, you know like a thundercloud.

PAZ: Storm cloud. You just want to color code these cats.

LIZ: Well, no one color codes their outfits in Word of Honor, so I'm like, I need something to tell them all apart. There's like 500 guys. There's like 500 gray cats.

JULIAN: Yeah, no, I simply want more torties.

LIZ: WindClan should be fluffy.

PAZ: No, they gotta be sleek so they're aerodynamic. Gotta run really fast.

LIZ: Oh, that's true. I was just thinking about them being like ruffled by the wind.

PAZ: ShadowClan can be fluffy in their dark forest.

LIZ: StarClan, when you become a StarClan cat, you get little spots. You get modded Sims freckles.

PAZ: Sorry, I'm just looking back at the convo Graystripe and Silverstream have with Fireheart, and they're so stupid. Fireheart's just trying to explain to them like, this is a bad idea. This isn't going to work out. And they're just like, no, it will, because I said so.

JULIAN: No, it will. Smiley face.

LIZ: It'll be fine.

PAZ: No, it won't be fine because they leave, and then Tigerclaw's there.

LIZ: God, he's just back to being an evil villain.

PAZ: I love that image-- there's Cloudkit, who's this tiny fluffy white cat, and then Fireheart comes out behind him looming over him, this huge guy.

LIZ: Big brown tabby. You think he's got an M? Yes, he does.

PAZ: Yeah, M for Monster.

LIZ: M for Maliciousness.

PAZ: I can't think of any more M words.

JULIAN: M for...

LIZ: For Mackerel, cause he loves fish.

JULIAN: All I can think of is magnificent.

PAZ: Yeah, magnificent. That's right.

LIZ: M for murder. Duh.

PAZ: Oh, there it is. Yeah, M for murder.

LIZ: There we go. Meowder.

PAZ: Tigerclaw just gets really angry at only Fireheart here.

LIZ: Does he even know who Graystripe is?

PAZ: No, he probably doesn't.

JULIAN: He was menacing Graystripe earlier.

PAZ: Was he? When?

JULIAN: Cause Fireheart was really worried that like Tigerclaw was gonna figure out that Graystripe had been sneaking off.

PAZ: Yeah. Well, at this point he doesn't seem to care cause he caught Fireheart sneaking off.

JULIAN: Yep. Also, Longtail is such a dick.

PAZ: Oh my God, he sucks.

JULIAN: He's like, [deep voice] "just what I'd expect from a kittypet."

LIZ: Get back, man. Geez.

JULIAN: No one invited you. Go away.

PAZ: Tigerclaw is described with stinky breath.

JULIAN: Oh damn, gottem.

PAZ: "He thrust his huge head so close to Fireheart that he could smell the deputy's hot, rancid breath."

LIZ: I don't think any of you smell very good.

JULIAN: Oh, rancid.

PAZ: Rancid.

JULIAN: Damn.

PAZ: He's hanging out with those smelly cats at the Twolegplace. Maybe he's eating crowfood.

LIZ: Noooo.

JULIAN: Well, I also wonder... maybe Tigerclaw is so cranky because he has tooth decay.

PAZ: I'd be cranky too. You know, some murders, when you have tooth pain.

JULIAN: Yeah, you know.

PAZ: Who can help that?

JULIAN: If only there were some way to treat it. If only there was someone who would take care of these cats and their various ailments.

LIZ: What a fantasy you have, Julian.

JULIAN: I wonder if the medicine cats have anything for like toothache.

PAZ: They pull it out.

JULIAN: With their paws?

PAZ: Um, yep.

LIZ: Maybe it's like... no, no, I've got it. They say, bite really hard on this stick, and eventually it'll get stuck and I can pull it out.

JULIAN: Oh, great news. Elder bark does ease toothaches.

PAZ: Oh good.

LIZ: Great. Chew on this bark.

JULIAN: That's apparently what people used to do in the olden times for toothbrushes.

LIZ: Ugh.

JULIAN: Is you just like chew on a stick. There's like a particular kind of stick that was very commonly used because it chews up nice into like kind of a brush shape.

LIZ: I can never time travel.

JULIAN: Yeah, I really like toothpaste.

LIZ: In high school, my English teacher showed us like Lost in Austen, as like a end of the year treat.

JULIAN: How fun.

LIZ: Yeah, English class. The only thing I remember from it is the lady who gets transported back into Pride and Prejudice has to use a stick for a toothbrush. It's like ashes and salt, too. It's like, mm, yummy.

JULIAN: Yeah, no, I like the modern conveniences of flush toilets and toothpaste and, oh, deodorant. I mean, again, like I know there was historical deodorant and like people used, like, you know, all different kinds of scents and herbs and stuff to control their odors, but.

LIZ: A lot of it just seems to be like oils. Like oldie timey people, they're just oiling themselves up all the time. And I don't know. That feels real, like... yeah, I guess it works. I don't know if I want to.

JULIAN: I just, you know, I'm good.

LIZ: What would you miss the most if you had to time travel to the olden times, Paz?

PAZ: Electric lights.

LIZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: Yeah.

PAZ: Have to go to bed real early.

JULIAN: Yeah, that's true.

PAZ: And the winter'd be so dark.

LIZ: No!

JULIAN: Oh, the winter would suck.

LIZ: Not the seasonal depression.

PAZ: Right? I can barely handle it as is.

JULIAN: You'd just be like mainlining-- what is it? Liver that has a lot of vitamin D?

LIZ: Eugh.

PAZ: Yuck.

JULIAN: Livers.

LIZ: Milk?

JULIAN: No, milk only has vitamin D because we stick it in there, I think.

LIZ: Really? Aw.

PAZ: Weird.

LIZ: Oat milk? Do they also just stick it in there, or does it have it-have it?

JULIAN: Yeah, no, milk is enriched with vitamin D, but it doesn't actually have it naturally straight out of the cow.

PAZ: Should we go back to Warriors? Warrior Cats?

LIZ: Maybe. Yes.

JULIAN: Yeah, let's go back to Warriors. Sorry.

LIZ: Perhaps.

PAZ: I don't know. Tigerclaw, a little bitch.

JULIAN: Tigerclaw's a little bitch.

LIZ: Very funny still.

PAZ: Yeah, his grand plan was to follow this baby.

JULIAN: I mean, it worked.

PAZ: It did work.

JULIAN: As much as it's like, aw, dang, they get punished for helping people, it's like, I do get Bluestar's position here. They didn't tell her.

PAZ: Yeah, it seems like if they had just told her first, this would have been fine.

LIZ: Yeah, it probably would have timed out really well for her, because she just made that speech, right? It's like, we should help each other, and then it's like, look at these warriors that are in our clan that saved some babies.

PAZ: Yeah, could use it as a good PR.

JULIAN: Yeah, it would like strengthen their ties with RiverClan, which are kind of on the rocks right now. Instead of it just being like these two random warriors are helping ThunderClan, it's like ThunderClan is helping.

PAZ: Yeah, I mean, she's fairly reasonable here, all things considered. Fireheart still can't figure out why she's so concerned about RiverClan.

JULIAN: Why could it be?

PAZ: I don't know.

JULIAN: I just don't know.

LIZ: [dreamily] Ah, so mysterious. Can't figure it out.

PAZ: There's so many gray cats. I do want to point out this very fun cat turn of phrase, where Tigerclaw is talking to Bluestar, and he says, "'when I asked them what they were doing, they gave me some fish and mouse story about checking to see how far the flood stretched.'"

LIZ: Aw.

PAZ: So cute. Fish and mouse story.

JULIAN: I love that.

LIZ: They're just little guys.

PAZ: I love all the little cat expressions they come up with.

LIZ: Tigerclaw can't say fuck, but he can say this.

PAZ: Yeah, I mean that's just the same thing as bullshit. Fish and mouse.

LIZ: What do you think he does when it's actually time to say like fuck? Like oh ffffu-- oh, sardines. It's a load of snail shells.

PAZ: I bet that's it.

JULIAN: You know, maybe I'll start bringing the little Warriors figures of speech into my everyday lexicon.

PAZ: I agree.

JULIAN: I think that would go over real well but at the checkout at the grocery store.

LIZ: They might just be like, is this is some sort of sailor?

PAZ: Oh, Warrior Cats with a cat on a boat. Fishing cat.

JULIAN: Aw.

PAZ: Ship cat, that's the word I was looking for. Other cute thing is Cloudkit getting sentenced to go help the elders again and Fireheart being like, I know he likes doing that.

LIZ: Yeah, that's sweet. He's a rebel, but he loves old people.

JULIAN: Yeah, I also wonder like, if Bluestar also knows that he likes it and is just like--

PAZ: Maybe.

JULIAN: --go hang out with the elders and maybe they'll like tell you how things work in the clans.

PAZ: Fireheart's like, I don't know if he actually learned his lesson, though.

LIZ: No, I don't think so.

JULIAN: Yeah, he didn't seem like he learned shit.

PAZ: No, he did not. Oh, they gotta go like act as apprentices now.

LIZ: Incredibly funny.

PAZ: Very funny.

JULIAN: It's so funny. Demoted back to being a teen.

PAZ: You gotta go back to high school. Can you imagine that?

JULIAN: God.

LIZ: No, that'd be terrible.

PAZ: That really is a punishment.

JULIAN: Yeah, imagine you like fuck up at your job and your boss is like, oh, you have to go to high school.

LIZ: God.

PAZ: That's a nightmare actually. I feel bad for them now.

JULIAN: God, it was really poignant that Fireheart is just like, oh, do we have to go back to being apprentices forever? Or maybe it was Graystripe. I don't remember actually.

PAZ: I don't know. With Bluestar's track record, if you go back to being apprentices, you could be apprentices again for like a year. She forgets to promote people.

LIZ: What if she just gets assassinated though, like before she [laughs]. Tigerclaw says, well, I'm just gonna leave this as it is, actually. This is great for me.

PAZ: God.

LIZ: Do we have anything else about this chapter?

JULIAN: No.

PAZ: No, not at the moment. I'm just excited to see how bad this will all go.

JULIAN: God, it's gonna break real bad.

PAZ: Especially now that there's secret babies in the mix.

LIZ: Oh my god.

PAZ: Should we do a list of all the secrets we know so far, just to get a count on that?

JULIAN: Oh yeah, just a quick secrets rundown.

PAZ: Okay, one, Mistyfoot and Stonefur, illegitimate ThunderClan children. Graystripe and Silverstream, together. Tigerclaw's whole deal. Silverstream pregnant.

LIZ: Oh, Yellowfang and her kid.

PAZ: Oh, yeah, Yellowfang and Brokentail.

JULIAN: Oh yeah, shit. Lot of parentage secrets here.

PAZ: Sure is. Bluestar has a secret, which who knows what it is.

JULIAN: What could it be?

PAZ: Who knows?

JULIAN: Fireheart has been sneaking out to see his sister, although I guess that's not a secret now.

PAZ: That's not a secret now. I feel like there's more I'm forgetting.

LIZ: Does Ravenpaw being alive count?

PAZ: Yeah.

LIZ: That's an old one.

JULIAN: Oh yeah, that's a secret.

PAZ: Yeah, they did go to see him. But I mean, Bluestar knows. That's on the edge. There was a very brief secret about feeding RiverClan.

LIZ: That's still a secret to someone.

PAZ: Lot of secrets. That's at least seven secrets.

LIZ: Yeah, a whole forest of them.

PAZ: Well, we'll see how the dominoes fall here.

JULIAN: How the kibble crumbles.

PAZ: But if that's good, like we're good for those set of chapters?

LIZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: Yeah.

[meow]

PAZ: We can move on to a fun little forum thread that I saw, which is "Describe Warrior Cats in one sentence."

LIZ: Beautiful, thank you.

PAZ: Do we want to read these?

LIZ: Sure. First one: "Wild savage battle cats kill each other in cold blood for infamy and fame."

PAZ: That's right.

JULIAN: That makes it sound like the Hunger Games.

PAZ: Like I said, I still think... hasn't been much murder so far. I feel like that body count has to go up.

LIZ: Well, the longer the series goes, the higher the stakes have to be, I guess.

PAZ: Yeah, I know in way past the series I read up to is, I think there's like a battle between like cat hell, and like.

LIZ: Cat hell?

PAZ: Yeah.

LIZ: This is still just taking place in some rural English town where they make cheese or whatever.

PAZ: Yeah, but they also have mystical ghost cats.

LIZ: It's like 2001. Someone in that village is listening to Britney Spears.

JULIAN: And cat hell is there.

LIZ: God.

PAZ: Next one: "warring clans of killer kitty cats, along with a lot of pointless arguing and forbidden romance." Yeah.

LIZ: I think we have to point out this person's name also for a second.

JULIAN: We do.

LIZ: It's Metsfan09, and their icon is, I assume, the Mets logo. Cause it says Mets on it.

PAZ: You can be a Mets fan and a Warrior Cats fan.

LIZ: Of course.

JULIAN: It's a baseball with the New York skyline and the Brooklyn Bridge.

PAZ: I didn't even know they were the New York team.

JULIAN: Yeah, there's two of them. The Mets and the Yankees. I'm googling this real quick in case I got it wrong. No, it is New York.

LIZ: Okay, okay, okay.

PAZ: I was--

JULIAN: Fuck, they're from Queens, not Brooklyn. Sorry.

PAZ: Oh, gotta correct that, or else our heads will be out on the stake.

JULIAN: So the next one is "everyone dies and no one is happy. The end."

PAZ: I love this because someone quote tweets it. The next response says, "you sure about that?" and just posts a gray cat with blue eyes, like we're supposed to know who that is.

LIZ: That could be anyone in this book.

PAZ: That could literally anyone.

JULIAN: I mean, eight people liked it, so I assume people know who that cat is.

LIZ: They all think it's a different gray cat, though.

JULIAN: It does look like it's one of the wiki cat sprites.

PAZ: Yeah, it is, but like how-- hold on. I have a guess on who it might be. I gotta go see. No. Okay, I don't know who the fuck it is. Because the one I was thinking of is a gray cat with green eyes.

JULIAN: Yeah, I don't know fucking which cat that is. There's a lot of gray cats in this series.

PAZ: Read to find out what happens.

LIZ: This could be years from now. I can read the next one, though. "Been spending most of our lives listening to cat's paradise."

PAZ: I don't know. I don't know what that means.

JULIAN: [to the tune of "Gangsta's Paradise"] Been spending most our lives listening to cats' paradise.

PAZ: Oh, okay. Is it a song?

JULIAN: Yeah, it's "Gangsta's Paradise."

PAZ: Okay.

LIZ: Oh, it's a musical reference.

PAZ: I've never listened to music.

LIZ: You're a radio DJ, Paz.

JULIAN: The next one--

PAZ: Gets, um.

JULIAN: Should we just read the first one?

PAZ: I think-- I don't know, it's vague enough that we can.

JULIAN: "I'll describe every arc. First one. Kitten joins a war cult, becomes king. War cult teleports to a lake and cats train in Uno reverse heaven."

PAZ: I don't-- what? What?

LIZ: What? Is that what happens?

PAZ: What is Uno reverse heaven? I don't remember this.

JULIAN: I don't remember Uno reverse heaven either.

LIZ: I gotta read to find out what happens.

JULIAN: "Cats have superpowers now."

PAZ: That's right.

JULIAN: "Ghosts of Christmas Past come back to murder everyone, but oh wait, the super cats save the day I guess."

LIZ: These cats are Christian?

JULIAN: "Cats make cults."

LIZ: Well, we knew that.

JULIAN: That's the whole series.

PAZ: They already did that. Oh, I think that's Dawn of the Clan so that is the first time the cats make cults.

JULIAN: Intro to cults. "Rebellion is cool, so we must kill our friends."

PAZ: I see.

JULIAN: "Obsessed ex boyfriend decides to change the laws and commit murder for his now-married ex girlfriend."

LIZ: I see.

PAZ: Listen, I can not wait for that arc. Everything I've read about it is like, this is fantastic. Well, somebody quotes tweets that response in delight. The next post is "Cat society out in the woods deals with a different apocalypse every two years."

LIZ: Someone else quote replies the one where there's just a pixelated wiki JPEG of a grey cat, and says, "oh my god. She hasn't died yet?"

JULIAN: Oh, also we've learned which cat this is.

PAZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: Oh, this is a good summary from user Rifflestorm. "There are cats in it."

LIZ: Mm.

JULIAN: Yeah.

PAZ: Damn. Crazy if true.

LIZ: Please, put some spoilers on that.

PAZ: Someone else quote tweets that and says, "Don't forget about the Warriors there too." Sorry, I'm reading the summary of arcs again. One describes the arc after Power of Three as "super kitties teach younger super kitty to spy on serial killers."

LIZ: God. I think someone's still talking about that gray cat. And they're talking about ages. Someone says, "I think she's like 16. But still, when you had Tallstar falling over dead at 10 and Whitestar preparing to sign up for Life Alert at five...."

PAZ: Damn, this cat's really thriving.

JULIAN: Yeah, damn.

PAZ: Damn. "I hope she expires this arc. She is beyond rotten."

LIZ: Who is this? Controversial.

JULIAN: Deleted member. Did they get banned for saying this?

LIZ: They might have.

PAZ: God. That's hostility. What happened?

LIZ: Is that allowed on this forum?

PAZ: No, he got deleted.

LIZ: All right, you better watch what you fucking say. Geez.

JULIAN: This user says, "cats from heaven give bad advice."

PAZ: That's right. "Housecat joins cult and calls out xenophobia." Right. Some beautiful summaries in here.

LIZ: One of them calls, I think Dawn of the Clans, "cat gerrymanders borders and then there's a bloodbath for his troubles. JK, I think I forgot most of it."

PAZ: Gerrymandering is something to fight against. So they're justified.

JULIAN: It's important. For the first arc, "normal cat drones kitty battle royale cult." Correct.

PAZ: Sorry, I just went to the forum.

JULIAN: Really enjoying this summary of the next series, which is "the book of Exodus, except it's cats."

PAZ: "Roleswap, Rusty, Princess, and Smudge."

LIZ: Oh?

PAZ: Tell me more.

JULIAN: I love that, actually,

LIZ: How does that work out?

PAZ: I don't know.

LIZ: Is roleswapped Rusty I guess just like a nice house cat? A good, nice young man?

PAZ: Here's someone said, "Smudge, I think would end up becoming a medicine cat."

LIZ: Aw.

PAZ: No, not everyone saying Princess is a perma-queen. You gotta imagine better, more exciting horizons for her.

JULIAN: Right. What could she be like if she was allowed to dream of adventure?

PAZ: She seems really into it. It's why she gave her child away to this forest hell.

JULIAN: I want Princess and Cinderpaw to meet.

LIZ: Yeah, that's sweet.

PAZ: Yeah, I think Princess would be good at uncovering Tigerclaw's treachery.

JULIAN: Aw, I can see her being a real like Nancy Drew.

LIZ: Yeah, that's cute.

PAZ: I agree. She seems like she would do a lot of stuff, if she had the chance.

LIZ: Yeah. I don't know. Maybe she's Nancy Drewing it up in like house cat world.

PAZ: I love that.

LIZ: Yeah, you know, that's probably like cat crimes, or real crimes.

PAZ: Of course there's cat crimes.

LIZ: Maybe her owner is like a detective.

PAZ: Oh, fantastic.

LIZ: Yeah, she's solving the human crimes, too.

PAZ: I love this idea.

JULIAN: One more thread I've found on the forums. "Graystripe has eaten everything. How do you punish him?"

LIZ: Excuse me?

PAZ: What?

JULIAN: It's sort of like a, you know, not really an RP, but like a... "Some way, somehow, Graystripe has managed to eat every piece of prey on the fresh kill pile, leaving ThunderClan with nothing to eat."

PAZ: Of course he would do that.

JULIAN: "And leafbare is fast approaching."

PAZ: That's exactly what Graystripe would do.

LIZ: But this is like such a classic like early 2000s, late 90s, like bashing post.

PAZ: Except it was posted, presumably, very recently.

JULIAN: It was posted about a week ago.

LIZ: Oh my God. History just repeats. Nothing changes.

JULIAN: "Right now he is in the middle of ThunderClan camp laying on his back with a giant round belly."

PAZ: Oh, comedy.

JULIAN: "If you were leader, how would you punish him?"

LIZ: God.

PAZ: Um, I would make him leave my clan. And then I won't have to deal with him anymore.

JULIAN: Just a lot of people saying he needs to hunt to get the prey pile back to where it was. Someone says, "you don't. Graystripe eats you."

LIZ: Ahh.

PAZ: Oh my god, what?

LIZ: I don't like that.

JULIAN: Which is a lot.

PAZ: I really feel like I'm here in 2011.

LIZ: Yeah, Graystripe voice. What's the thing? I saved you a cookie, but I eated it.

PAZ: Hate it.

LIZ: Okay, listen, we're very anti Graystripe right now, but I don't think he would do this. I think he fucks up some other way.

JULIAN: I don't think he would either.

PAZ: No, I feel like he'd fuck up in a more unique and more disastrous way, honestly, such as getting his cross clan gf pregnant.

LIZ: Yeah, that's... maybe he makes a Facebook invite for his wedding, but invites everyone.

PAZ: Oh no, Graystripe.

JULIAN: Oh my god. Graystripe, noooo.

PAZ: You forgot to change the settings.

LIZ: Graystripe tries to share his wedding planning doc with Fireheart, but it's just open to everyone.

PAZ: Oh no.

JULIAN: He accidently sends it to the clan group chat. The scandal.

LIZ: Graystripe, why do you want like two slow cookers?

JULIAN: Graystripe's wedding registry is just like a $18,000 like outdoor smoker for barbecue and nothing else.

PAZ: Graystripe.

LIZ: What if cats could preserve food, actually?

PAZ: It would solve problems.

LIZ: Yeah. I do have one last describe Warrior Cats in one sentence.

PAZ: Please.

LIZ: It's a real zinger. "Game of Thrones with tails and whiskers."

PAZ: No. Once again, Game of Thrones wants what Warrior Cats has.

JULIAN: It does. It does. That was just making me think of furry Game of Thrones, which would be... incredible. I want to see Game of Thrones set at a furry con.

PAZ: That has happened.

LIZ: That's just called a furry con.

PAZ: I don't know if the inner politics of furry cons are rich and complex. Probably.

JULIAN: Oh, absolutely.

PAZ: So yeah, it's already going down there.

LIZ: I think that's just like, cons in general.

JULIAN: I'm sure there's been rich and complex-- well, we've talked a lot about the inner politics of Warrior Cats RP boards.

PAZ: Has there ever been a Warrior Cats con?

JULIAN: I don't know.

PAZ: Hold on.

LIZ: That feels like it needs to be like... it needs parental supervision.

PAZ: Yes.

LIZ: And organization.

JULIAN: I feel like if there hasn't been one, it's probably because of the average age of most Warrior Cats fans.

PAZ: Yeah, I'm not seeing anything.

JULIAN: Obviously there are adult fans. Here we are, but.

PAZ: No, true. Although the kids should have a fun meet up.

LIZ: There's definitely like Warrior-- we've read that wiki article, like how to have a Warrior Cats themed birthday party. That's Warrior con.

PAZ: That is Warrior con.

JULIAN: Warrior con is recess.

PAZ: It is, that's true.

LIZ: Aw.

PAZ: There's always a Warrior con happening every day.

JULIAN: Every day, you go outside and you play Warriors with your friends.

PAZ: Cute. Well, maybe we should end it on that very wholesome thought. There's anything else?

LIZ: I don't know, how would you guys describe maybe this book in one sentence?

PAZ: Too many gray cats.

LIZ: Graystripe, unamused emoji.

JULIAN: Please God someone get these cats a vet.

LIZ: That's a series summary.

PAZ: All right, well, that will do it for us then this week. Next week we'll be reading chapters 15 through 17. You can find the show @staircast on twitter.com. You can support the show at patreon.com/staircast, and we will have something up there soon when people aren't like traveling and stuff. You can send in questions and/or anecdotes, maybe about Warriors recess, to stairwaytostarclan@gmail.com. I can't remember if we said it before, but reminder that we are putting up episode transcripts now on our Tumblr, which is also where our chapter summaries, if people want to go check those out.

JULIAN: Yep, we're still working through the backlog of those. But once that's done, we should hopefully be able to get to... I want to get to like having a week delay on the transcript so it's not....

PAZ: Yeah, but I think that covers everything. So until next time, may StarClan light your path. Bye.

LIZ: Bye.

JULIAN: Bye.

[outro music]

PAZ: Sorry, I'm scrolling. There's a sponsored post? Ad?

LIZ: What? Where?

PAZ: It's just three sunglasses emoji against a blank background.

JULIAN: I don't see this.

LIZ: I don't see this.

JULIAN: I have AdBlock on.

PAZ: Well, I'm on my phone. This is the kind of ads that are on Warrior Cats RP forums, apparently.

[wahtusernaem]

“I know what I did” Pt.1

Daveed x reader

Warnings: mentions of smut and cheating

Y/N's POV:

"Y/N COME OOOOON! WE ARE ON IN 10! LET'S GO!" Lin said, banging on the door. "Would you stop yapping and come in here! My corset needs tightening!" a moment later he came in, all dressed up for the part he's playing, Alexander Hamilton. "turn around." I turned around and he started tightening my corset. "S-stop...! t-t-too... t-i-iggghhh-t..." I squeaked out but he didn't hear me so I kicked him in the shin. "Ow! Wh-whyyyy?" "Tonto, you almost killed me so I kicked you in the shin!" I told him. "Oh sorry, *chuckles* your corset is done by the way, now let's go! Alex is so gonna kill us!"  

We arrived at the waiting area, I was on the crossover as Lin was too and everybody was rushing to their positions. "Hey, Y/N..." Daveed greeted me before rushing to his place as we all heard Jonathan doing the introduction.

FLASHBACK: 2 months ago "I know, I'm sorry I can't make it to your concert babe... I know... It's just Lin needs help with the finishing touches... Yes... I know... Uh-huh... Okay... I'll see you then... Yes, I love you too, make me proud!" "Was that Daveed?" My bestfriend, Lin has asked me, grinning from ear to ear. "If you must know, yes. That was Daveed, I just told him goodluck on his concert night with the guys. I told him I couldn't come."  "Why? Is it because of this? You don't have to help me, really! You can go! He'd be upset because his girlfriend isn't there supporting him." "Lin, it's fine. He told me to stay because you clearly need help." I said, pointing the crippled papers all over his dressing room, unwashed coffee-stained mugs and take-out leftovers on the tables, and finally, him. He was wearing a robe, he smelled like instant coffee and chinese food. "You clearly need me more than he does. Now go take a bath you stink! I'll be here. I'll proof-read these and tell Alex we’ll have an early meeting so they can check these out too, 'kay?" "Thank you, Y/N! You are a total life saver!"  

A FEW HOURS LATER...

"Okay, so great work today guys. Lin, please go home so you can rest... I will give you a week off of work m'kay? You look like a guy who has the whole world on his shoulder." Alex said, ending our daily group discussion. We all said our goodbyes and headed home.

'Ahh, home sweet home.' I thought to myself. I went upstairs to change my clothes into more comfortable ones. Shorts, tank tops, and Daveed's hoodie. I went downstairs to make some dinner. Since D isn't here to cook I just made myself some toast. As I was waiting for the toast to cook, I decided to call my boyfriend.

It ringed a few more times before he picked up. "Hellooo, Y/N! The love of my life, the apple of my eye, the sunshine in my life!-" He greeted me, his words slurry. Before I could even reply to what he had babbled about, someone had snatched his phone from him and talked, "Hello Y/N! I'm sorry, Daveed's quite drunk we were invited to an after party again-" "Uhh, hi! Who is this?" I ask at the woman speaking on the other line. "Hi! Oh, I'm sorry, I'm Denise! I'm the band's new secretary! I filled in for Brianna this week because her dog’s having a baby! The guys and I had just arrived at their hotel rooms. Daveed is pretty hammered-" She kept blabbing and blabbing. She was clearly drunk too.

I heard the sound of a door closing and Daveed's phone being put down on a desk. She had said goodbye to me saying she'll take care of him and telling me not to worry but she hadn't managed to end the call. I was just about to end it when I heard muffled moans of Daveed and the girl. I had listened to it a few seconds more just to realize what they were doing.

I ended the call; tears of anger rushing down my face. I had run outside and hailed a cab. The cab stopped a few moments later  so I paid it and got out. I stepped inside the front porch still crying and knocked on the door rapidly. A moment later, a confounded Lin-Manuel Miranda got to the door. "Y/N! What the hell du-... W-what happened? Com'ere." He opened his arms wide and hugged me, leading me on the couch. I cried for a couple more hours before explaining to him. He called Alex telling him I'll be having a few days off too.

end of flashback-

"Hello, Y/N? Are you okay? you're on in 2 minutes. Can you do this?" Lin asked me, concern filled his eyes. I nodded and went on stage to do my part in the intro. Act 1 went great, We had a minute's rest and we changed our costumes accordingly. Before we all got back to our positions, I saw Daveed heading my way before Jasmine swooped me. "Hey Y/N! How are you doing?" She asked, "Oh, well I'm still kind of slightly nervous, this is my first performance of a premiere night. Too bad Pip got sick huh?" "Yeah, but relax you're doing great!" She said, hugging me before she went to her position.

The Reynold's Pamphlet had just finished so I was back at the crossover to sing the next song. Daveed had attempted to talk to me again. "I'm fine, Daveed. Now excuse me, I have to go now..." I stood up getting ready, "I-I'm sorry Y/N..." was what he had said before I went up.

"I saved every letter you wrote me..."

'Dear Y/N, every day with you is like floating on a cloud...'

It's been 3 months since I've received these courting letters from Daveed.

"From the moment I read them I knew you were mine, You said you were mine, I thought you were mine...” 

‘Happy 2nd anniversary, babe...”

he knelt down and put a promise ring on my finger.

‘Someday, that’ll be a true ring.... I love you..’

"I'm rereading the letters you wrote me, I'm searching and scanning for answers in every line for some kind of sign and when you were mine..."

'Y/N, it's been 3 weeks... you have to go back to rehearsals and stop reading those letters' Lin crouched down to my level and took away the letters from my hand.

"The world has no right to my heart, The world has no place in our bed, They don't get to know what I said..."

'Y/N...How have you been...?' 'I'm fine...just drained...' After Lin had convinced me to come back to work for the nth time, that's basically what my close friends have asked me.

"You forfeit all rights to my heart, You forfeit the place in our bed, you'll sleep in your office instead, With only the memories of when you were mine..."

'Y/N please don't go... Y/N please! I love you...!' 'N-no Daveed! 'I love you' doesn't solve everything...!' I walked out of there, my bags with me, every framed photograph I ever made left in our house. As I started my car and drove away.

"I-I hope that you... burn...."

[notebooknebula]

Brad Smotherman on Flipping Real Estate

https://www.jayconner.com/brad-smotherman-on-flipping-real-estate/

Brad Smotherman manages a 7 figure flipping business, and hold notes across Middle Tennessee. We invest in multiple states, and have houses from Michigan to Georgia right now.

Real Estate Cashflow Conference: https://www.jayconner.com/learnrealestate/

Free Webinar: https://www.jayconner.com/training/wtgtmn-webinar-rev2-podcast/?oprid=&ref=42135

Jay Conner is a proven real estate investment leader. Without using his own money or credit, Jay maximizes creative methods to buy and sell properties with profits averaging $64,000 per deal.

The Private Money Academy http://www.JayConner.com/Trial

———————————————————————-

Jay Conner (00:01): Well, hello there! And welcome to another exciting episode of Real Estate Investing with Jay Conner. I’m Jay Conner, your host of the show. Also known as The Private Money Authority. And if you’re brand new to the show, here on this show, we talk about all things that relate to real estate investing. We talk about investing in single family houses, commercial projects, small apartments, self storage, land deals, notes. And we also talk about how to get funding for those deals creatively and with private money. Now, if you’re brand new to this show, I’m known as The Private Money Authority, because from 2003 to 2009, I relied on the local banks and mortgage companies to fund my deals. But then I got cut off with no notice in 2009, but it was one of the biggest blessing in disguise. I was introduced to this wonderful world of private money.

Jay Conner (01:02): Since that time I’ve never missed out on a deal. I’ve rehabbed over 400 houses. Done even more deals creatively. And the reason I’ve never missed out on a deal since 2009 is because I got the cash ready to buy those all cash deals. And as we know, most of the sellers require all the money. So I’ve got a brand new free gift for everybody that’s tuning here on the show. And that is, I just launched The Private Money Academy. Which is a monthly membership where we actually have two live zoom conference a month with yes, yours truly me. For at least an hour to an hour and a half answering all your real estate investing questions. Getting you plugged into private money and funding for your deals. And we also have a hot seat session where we will take one of the members of the Academy, put you in the hot seat, analyze your business, and create a plan to take you and your business to the next level.

Jay Conner (01:57): So I have a free gift for everybody tuning in, and that is four weeks absolute free access to The Private Money Academy. And you get to come on the next two live shows for the Academy membership. Absolutely for free! You can take advantage of that and learn all about it after the show today at http://www.JayConner.com/Trial that’s http://JayConner.com/Trial Be sure and check that out, come on in to the membership for free, and I’ll see you on the inside of those live zoom conference coaching calls.

Jay Conner (02:41): Well, as you know, if you’ve been tuning in to Real Estate Investing with Jay Conner, we have amazing guests and experts here on the show. And today is no exception. Before I bring my special guest out of the green room and here to the forefront. Let me tell you just a little bit about him. Well, my guest today is a real estate investor and a mentor. And he owns and manages a seven figure per year flipping business. So my guest and I, we’ve got a lot in common. Well, his passion is being a top house flipper in the nation. And his other passion is also helping other newer investors build a sustainable real estate investing company. Well, with 11 years, he started back in 2010 on the real estate investing side. With 11 years in the real estate investing business, he’s invested in over 15 States. And yes, today on today’s show, we’re going to be talking about how do you do this business remotely and totally virtually.

Jay Conner (03:41): He also has houses all the way from Michigan to Georgia. And today he has completed over 550 transactions today. Yes, he knows what he’s talking about from experience. In addition to that, he focuses on buying single family flips creatively. Using both subject to the existing note strategy, and he buys a lot with owner financing. In fact, he is known as the Owner Finance Guy. He also uses the strategy of selling retail or with owner financing, with creating wrap around notes. I know you’ve heard that terminology. Wrapping around a note. And if that’s sort of a new term to you or an old term, and you don’t know what it means, we’re going to talk about that on today’s show as well and how you can utilize that strategy as well.

Jay Conner (04:34): Well, he is also the host of one of the top 100 business podcasts in the nation. And the name of his podcast is Investor Creator. And there on the podcast, he teaches new and seasoned real estate investors. How to take their house flipping business to a multiple six or even seven figure income without sacrificing freedom. After all, what do we want in this real estate investing world is, wealth and freedom. And my guest today is an expert in that area. My guest lives in Nashville, Tennessee. And with that, welcome to the show, my friend and expert, Mr. Brad Smotherman! Brad, welcome to the show!

Brad Smotherman (05:18): Jay, I appreciate you having me on. I have a feeling we’re going to have so much fun with this. I’m just going to have to take a nap after we get done.

Jay Conner (05:24): Yes, you are! My lands! Brad, I’m so excited to have you on. And I know just by your intro, your bio and the short period of time that we’ve been around each other, we’ve got a lot in common. In fact, my best guess, one of your core values, and one of your secrets to success is having the mindset and the framework of putting other people first, having their interests ahead of your interest. Would you agree with that?

Brad Smotherman (05:52): Hundred percent! A hundred percent!

Jay Conner (05:54): So Brad, first of all, you look entirely too young to be this successful, but anyway, I’ll go beyond that statement pretty quickly. You’re from Nashville, Tennessee. You grow up in Nashville?

Brad Smotherman (06:06): I did. Born and raised.

Jay Conner (06:08): You’re sing country?

Brad Smotherman (06:10): No. I don’t see anything. And that’s a good thing for everybody that would have to listen. So for the people that know how to sing it I’ll just listen politely like everyone else.

Jay Conner (06:20): But now you enjoy going to the Grand Ole Opry, right?

Brad Smotherman (06:22): Oh, certainly! And like I was telling you guys before I’m out taking my grandmother to see Merle Haggard there twice, and we saw George Jones once and just had a great time. So, absolutely!

Jay Conner (06:33): That’s awesome. Well, I’m excited to have you here on the show today. Brad, because you’re known as the owner financed guy. You’re an expert in the area of buying houses on terms controlling them creatively or whatever. So first of all, if you would explain to the audience, what is your business model look like?

Brad Smotherman (06:59): Well, I think my business model is a little bit different than most because everybody out there, especially the past five or six years, what they wanted to do is, you know, they wanted to wholesale something. They wanted to fix something and flip it. And you know, the past 10 years we’ve had an explosion of these fix and flip TV shows. And frankly, Jay, those shows just give me anxiety. Like I can’t watch them. Literally. I went to the dentist the other day and asked me what I wanted to watch as I’m sitting there in the chair. I was like anything, but this HGTV stuff, right?

Jay Conner (07:25): Well, wait a minute, Brad. Now, why would I, why would a reality show that I’m sure is real, that shows you how to make a hundred grand in 30 minutes with no headaches. Why would that give you anxiety?

Brad Smotherman (07:36): Well, just like, you know, I mean, it’s not real. And then, you know, secondly, I’m looking at what they’re spending on the kitchen. I’m thinking I could do it for a sixth of that. And then the person buying the house, it’s like, well, what do you do for a living? And they say, well, we catch butterflies and rainbows all day. And our budget’s 2 million bucks and it’s just like, it just doesn’t seem exactly genuine to me. But maybe they’re just in a different market, a better market than I’ve ever seen. Let’s just say that.

Jay Conner (08:01): Yeah! I get it, Brother, I get it. Sorry to interrupt. What’s your business model looks like?

Brad Smotherman (08:04): Yeah. And that’s a hundred percent fine. So, you know, I started in 2010 and my background was very similar to yours in a certain way, although I didn’t live it. So I worked for a builder developer. Well, I sold real estate through college and everything was going really, really well up until the crash of ’08. And in 2009, the bankers came in and said, well, sorry, we’re going to have to call your loan. You have 30 days to pay us off. And as you know, during that time, there’s really no way to refinance commercial lending, you know, especially a development loan. And so it bankrupted them. And luckily I was able to learn the lessons from the crash without actually having to be involved in the crash. And so when that happened, I realized very quickly, I didn’t want bank money in my business. Very similar to what you’re dealing with. Right?

Brad Smotherman (08:46): So it’s like, guys, being able to raise private money is paramount to this business. Like what Jay is talking about is super, super important. But, so I got started in 2010 and back then, you really couldn’t wholesale because no, very few people had an equity position that was big enough to where you could wholesale it. And then also the fix and flip model was very difficult because that couldn’t get money. And so I had to find another way. Well, what I found worked. Has always worked and what I feel will always work is creating owner financing. And so what we do is we buy creatively when we buy and then we sell with owner financing and a vast majority of our transactions. We still go retail at times and that’s okay. But what we want to do is we want to create longterm cash flow with longterm capital assets. And for me, I’d rather have that in mortgage notes. I feel like it’s far more scalable than rentals. We’re able to get paid to take the note in most of our transactions. It’s not like I’m putting cash out there to invest. We’re getting longterm assets given to us. And I just had to find another way because I couldn’t, I didn’t want to wholesale, I couldn’t wholesale. And the fix and flip model looked like really difficult to me during that time. And so we’ve been pretty much doing a similar model ever since.

Jay Conner (09:53): So to recap what you just said, tell me if I got it right. Your core model is buy on terms, buy with owner financing, buy with subject to, buying creatively without paying all the cash. Take that same property, turn around and sell it creatively to a new buyer with owner financing or what have you. So let’s break that down. First of all, you said, the reason you do that is because you want to build longterm wealth by leveraging an asset that’s going to continue to pay you monthly for a long time. Is that right?

Brad Smotherman (10:38): A hundred percent. That’s right.

Jay Conner (10:40): So in today’s market, I know from my own business, I know from my students’ businesses that finding a deal today in the multiple listing service is a bonus. The deals are not in the multiple listing service buying large. So we have to find our deals off market. We have to find houses that are not in the multiple listing service. So if you don’t mind pulling back the curtain for us just a little bit and give us a little sneak peek as to what is working for you today to find these people that have houses for sale, or maybe they haven’t considered selling their house. How do you find these deals?

Brad Smotherman (11:30): That’s a great question. Well, I mean, as we know, everything starts with a motivated seller. So the foundation of the business is marketing for motivated sellers. Now for me, real estate is a means to an end. I mean, if I can do this business with dump trucks or swimming pools, I would do that. I’m not in love with houses. They break, they smell bad. Some of them. One of my apprentices yesterday in San Antonio, he’s buying a house that has 70 cats in it. And I can’t imagine how bad that is, but you know, at the end of the day, marketing comes down to two different avenues. We can do sweat marketing, or we can do paid marketing. Man. When I started, I didn’t have any money. So I had to do the sweat marketing side of things. And so the examples of that would be, you know, putting out bandit signs, you know, although you’re paying for the sign, what I would do is I would put them out Friday night and pull them up early Monday morning.

Brad Smotherman (12:13): And so a hundred signs, a couple of hundred bucks would last me three or four months, right? So that’s more of a sweat technique as opposed to leaving them out. Another one that were having a lot of success with is actually networking with wholesalers because wholesalers are slave to the 70% rule. We’re able to go in and do deals that they can’t do, right? Because we buy creatively as opposed to just throwing cash offers around all over the place. Right? So I’ve got an apprentice in Texas. He’s done three transactions this month, where wholesalers are bringing him the deal. You know, one of them is at a 0% owner finance rate. Now why a wholesaler would want to make a $5,000 assignment fee on a deal where we’ve got like four years and this thing is going to be paid off and we’ve got an $80,000 note on it.

Brad Smotherman (12:55): I don’t really understand. Okay. So that’s a couple of options in terms of sweat marketing. What I hope for people is that they understand that marketing is an investment. It’s not a cost. So effective marketing should at a minimum of 25 X. So if you’re spending a thousand dollars in effective marketing per month, you should over time buy at $25,000 per month in equity. Right? As an average. Now, what I hope for people is that if you have to start with the sweat side, that you go to the paid marketing side, as soon as you can. Okay? So in my world, the best paid marketing that we can do is Pay-per-Click so being there on Google ads, whenever they’re there, like people are searching for us. Searching, sell my house fast, or companies that buy houses. We want to be there. When people have already realized that they have a problem and we can be there to offer a solution, but it has to be done very well. I know a lot of people that have lost a lot of money when it comes to doing Pay-per-Click campaigns, because they don’t understand how to drive traffic number one, and how to create conversion. Once someone is, has landed on a page number two, but those are examples of sweat marketing paid marketing that we use in our business.

Jay Conner (13:57): Excellent! So as we know, and most of our audience here knows. When talking to an off market seller, a person that owns a single family house, you know, they don’t have it in the multiple listing service. They have some type of motivation. Most of these people are going to be anticipating when you’re starting that conversation with them of you buying their house. Most of these people like 99% of them are more having their mind that, well, if I sell my house, I’m going to get all the money, right? I mean, it’s like, that’s the traditional way. I sell a house, I get all the money. But now, you come along and you are going to be talking to them about creative selling or them becoming the bank. Or there’s a note and they’re going to get payments. What are your secrets? And as our friend Eddie would say, talk off points. Well, what are you, what are your secrets or scraping that takes a person that’s never considered selling on terms and waiting for all their money over time, from the point of then expecting to get all the cash up front?

Brad Smotherman (15:06): That’s a great question. And what I would submit to you is the first thing that we can’t do is make offers. So in my world, I really feel like an offer is a commodity to shop. And I can’t even begin to tell you how many houses that we’ve gone in and bought because, you know, two or three other investors had gone in and left an offer behind for them to think about. And then we come in because we won’t give them our price. They’re giving us a price. We’re making sure that that’s the least that they will take. And then we’re going to switch it to terms. So let’s say that someone says, well, and we talk about things in terms of cash at closing. So if somebody owes a hundred thousand dollars and they want to sell the property for 115, then I’m going to switch it and say, well, so your cash at closing is $15,000.

Brad Smotherman (15:48): So assuming that they would sell to me for that $15,000 cash at closing, then I’m going to say, well, you know, I can do that. If we can do it another way, and this is how we can make it work. So I’ve never given them a price and they’ve given me the price. So I mean, what we’ve done there is we’ve made it very difficult for them at that point to really begin to pull back and think about it because we’re giving them their number. We never give a price ever. Now, Jay, there’s some times that we do pay cash for properties, we just bought one outside of Huntsville, Alabama, about a month ago that the people had paid $160,000 cash for it in 2012, we paid 15,000 for it. And, you know, it’s like at that price, I don’t really feel the need to negotiate terms.

Brad Smotherman (16:29): You know, it’s like, we’ll just pay the 15K. And I thought about it. It kinda hurt my feelings to not get 0% owner financing on that 15. But I was like, you know, they need the money. They need the 15 grand we’ll just go ahead and pay it. But the short answer is I think the real skill is to, to be able to negotiate with people, without giving them a price, giving them an offer. I feel like if you give an offer, it’s a commodity, a commodity for them to shop. I also think it’s kind of acrimonious. People feel like they’re good negotiators because somebody can say, well, I want $200,000 from our house. And you can say, well, how does a hundred thousand sound? I don’t think that’s negotiation at all. I think that’s horse trading. And like my family came from the agriculture world.

Brad Smotherman (17:09): So, I mean, we were pig farmers. I mean, and I saw that growing up all the time, you know, that doesn’t work for houses as well. Like if we can make people realize that we’re not there to take advantage, if we can make the number work, then we will make it work. But there’s equity. There’s two types of equity. There’s equity at price and equity in terms. So if we can create equity in terms, a lot of times that’s a better equity position for us to have as a longterm play, as opposed to just like really working in the 70%. If that makes sense.

Jay Conner (17:37): Do you ever offer or give multiple offers or multiple strategies of saying, okay, if you want your price, we can do it this way. If you’ve got to have all cash, we can do it this way. And if you want a third option, we can do it this way. Or do you, most of the time stay with say the the terms negotiation and conversation?

Brad Smotherman (18:02): And that’s a great question. So we don’t do like the three offer strategy of like, we can do it this way, this way, or this way, this way, because what I’ve found, at least in my own personal experiences that I had people say, well, I want this price with that term.

Jay Conner (18:14): They want to pick and choose the way they want it.

Brad Smotherman (18:18): Yeah. It was like, we’ll take this closing date. We’ll take that price with those terms. It’s like, well, that’s not really how it works. What I’ll say to that is it’s really common for us to, to bounce back and forth between price and terms. So if someone says, okay, this is the price that we want, they’ll say, well, if you want it like that, here’s how we can make that work. And they said, well, that doesn’t work for us. And then we’ll go back and say, well, is that price the least you would take? And so we start talking about pricing in. And I’ve had situations where we have to kind of go back and forth three or four times before we land somewhere. And it’s generally somewhere kind of in the middle that we find that people will work within kind of the median based on what they’re hoping for. You know, if we can substantiate pricing and values and costs to where we can show like, Hey, these are the numbers that you’re working with. Like, this is the value. This is the cost to get it there. Here’s my breakeven number. You know, what are you hoping for your cash at closing people generally tend to be a little bit more reasonable if we can substantiate why they should accept a lower price and what they were hoping for.

Jay Conner (19:15): When you have someone that is agreeable or at least open. They’re open to the idea Terms and, you know, taking payments or equity over time or whatever. Do you, in your, in your conversation, do you tell them how long or how long the term of the note would be? Or do you ask them what’s the longest they could go? Or how do you get to that agreeable length of the note?

Brad Smotherman (19:51): Yeah. So what we talk about is in terms of some now and some later, so we’re going to talk about it and say, okay, how much cash do you need at closing to make it work? And they’ll give us a number and we’ll kind of negotiate that. It’s like, okay, if I can get you X at closing, then how soon were you hoping to get, no, we do it this way. We can either do payments every month, like an annuity or retirement plan, or we can do a lump sum in the future, which were you hoping for? Generally, people kind of gravitate towards the payments per month. But the thing that we never mentioned is interest. Okay. We never really talk about terms. We’re going to talk about it in terms of, you know, $20,000 at closing and $500 per month until paid.

Brad Smotherman (20:27): And so people are kind of looking at that and saying, especially if they’re a landlord. Guys, if you’re, if you’re dealing with a landlord that has free and clear property and they’re tired landlord, you should absolutely be able to negotiate owner financing because these people are open to receiving payments. That’s what they bought the property for in the first place. Well, if we can just kind of segment it to being like, well, how much do you need at closing? What would you like a lump sum in the future? Or would you like monthly payments? Generally, they’re going to say, well, I’d love monthly payments and we can negotiate something, but we never really talk about it in terms of, well, it’s a 10 year loan and here’s the rate we never mentioned. Certainly we’d never mentioned interest. We don’t really ever talk about the term as well.

Jay Conner (21:03): So you would agree that most of the terms that you structure are payments with no interests?

Brad Smotherman (21:10): Correct. A hundred percent. I’ve only paid interest twice on owner finance deals. And both of those were properties I wanted. They were both lake properties and I was like, I’ve gotta have this. I think I paid a 3% rate on one and four and a half on the others.

Jay Conner (21:24): I love it! I love it! Well, Brad, now let’s really change gears from the owner financing thing and the term thing to this world that you’re in of investing remotely. My lands! You are in, you’ve invested in 15 States. You invest from Michigan to Georgia. And when I asked you a question that could take you three days to answer, but you got about three minutes instead.

Brad Smotherman (21:55): We’ll work with that.

Jay Conner (21:55): But how in the world do you invest remotely in 15 different States? And we know what, we know everybody’s concerns are. I mean, how do you find those deals, you know, out there in a different state, what’s your boots on the ground? How do you make sure you’re not being taken to the cleaners? How do you manage all that stuff remotely? And you know, my land! You can’t drive by it and see what’s happening to the property. I mean, what does that world look like?

Brad Smotherman (22:24): Yeah. And you’re right. That would be about a three hour answer. But to put it into three minutes, the first fundamental that we have to understand is that the farther away we are from our own personal market, the cheaper the property must be. So we have to have a higher discount. Now, I’ll buy something at 60 cents on the dollar cash in my backyard, but I’m definitely not going to do that, you know two States away, right. So we have to have a greater discount because you’re a hundred percent, right. We’re going to have issues that we don’t expect right now. We don’t have, you know, a large amount of like workforce that can help us in these deals generally. Right. So what we’re going to do is we market to areas that we like, okay. And because we’re marketing in big geographic areas, our lead cost is actually quite a bit lower.

Brad Smotherman (23:12): It’s substantially lower. So we can do one of two things. We can either have a lower ad budget, or we can keep our ad budget the same and have maybe three or four times a lead flow. Okay. So let’s just say we have four times the lead flow. Well, what that means is that, that deal that comes around twice a year, three times a year is going to happen for me roughly every two months. Or, you know, the deal that happens every four months is going to happen for me every month. So I can be a little bit more picky based on what I’m looking at. And so in terms of the value, the decisions are very easy, actually. So I mean, case in point, we just bought one in Montgomery, Alabama. The property had a comp across the street that sold in in February for 76,000, we bought this one for 13, so we have it under contract.

Brad Smotherman (23:59): And so once we have an under contract, we go into due diligence. So the first thing we’re going to look at is value. So what is the value based on what we expect right now? So we feel like roughly this thing’s worth $75,000 and I can probably owner finance it for 89 or maybe 99,000 with a 10K down payment. You know, at a minimum 10K. So with that, we’re gonna talk to two or three brokers in that market, real estate agents that are gonna give us CMAs. Give us an idea of value. And then we’re going to then once the value looks okay, we’re going to switch to condition. So we’re going to get actually a home inspection on this property. Okay guys, once we have three different CMAs from agents and they all kind of make sense for one another, like there’s congruency in those three CMAs, and then we go and we get the home inspection, we’re going to know really everything that we need to know in terms of that property, especially with the discounts that we’re buying.

Brad Smotherman (24:48): So, I mean, the question being is that a little bit more risky than buying it around backyard? It certainly is. Whenever, if you were paying dollar for dollar the same amount, but if you’re paying 60 cents in your own backyard or 20 cents in another state, then I would ask you, well, which is more risky at that point. Okay. So short answer, we’re going to get things under contract that we feel pretty comfortable with. Then we’re going to verify and find the facts that we know and what we don’t know. At that point, we’re going to make a final decision. Sometimes we have to renegotiate price most of the time we don’t, because it’s just such a severe discount on the front end. And I mean, in terms of management, the thing is that we’re owner financing most of these, almost all. And so if we’re owner financing things, we’re serving the least served in the most underserved buyer pool in the country.

Brad Smotherman (25:32): There’s a lot of people that need owner financing. And since March, this is what I heard from Eddie Speed yesterday. And Jay, I know, you know, Eddie. So he said that if a hundred people could get a mortgage in March before this COVID thing hit, then right now there’s 64 people that can get a mortgage that’s left out of those hundred. Well, what happened to those other 36 people? Did they just decide not to buy? Well, no, they need owner financing at this point. So we’re serving a very needed, a very underserved buyer pool that needs owner financing. So sell the house with owner financing, create the note. I don’t want ownership and property. I feel like property is liability. We want to own the paper. Okay. So we create owner financing. So the house owner financing to have a longterm cash flowing asset. And in a nutshell, that’s how we buy remotely.

Jay Conner (26:18): To what extent do you buy houses remotely with owner financing? To what extent is, are you comfortable with the amount of repairs or rehabbing involved?

Brad Smotherman (26:33): Yeah. I mean, we’re not going to rehab anything. So if the property means that the grass cut, somebody better go cut the grass because we’re going to buy it. We’re going to sell it as is, you know, the best example that I have with this. I had a house that I bought for $2,000 one time. And now I don’t understand why people do what they do sometimes. Jay, I know that doesn’t resonate with you. I’m sure that you’ve never seen anything that didn’t make sense. But for me, I see a lot of things that don’t make sense in my world. And this lady sold me the house for $2,000 and she had just done new vinyl and new windows on the exterior. They surely looked great, but she said, I don’t want you to go in the house because I’m afraid you won’t buy it.

Brad Smotherman (27:07): This was maybe six or seven years ago. And I’m actually going to look at houses. I said, well, respectfully, I have to go look at, you know, I have to go inside. And so this lady, the roof look kind of bad, but I didn’t realize how bad the roof was. She did new vinyl, new windows. She didn’t do the roof. And so water had been pouring into this house for like four or five years. And so like, literally the back half of this thing was gone. I mean, it was like molded. It was soft, the subfloor, you couldn’t stand in the kitchen, all this, it was a mess! But we sold it with owner financing. As is! Like, I’m not going to do that kind of construction. I’m not a construction guy. Literally I had to come over. I had to have a handyman come to my house and replace the doorknobs because I don’t know how to do any of that stuff. So like, I’m terrible.

Jay Conner (27:46): You and I have something else in common, my friend!

Brad Smotherman (27:49): Glad to hear that, man! I think we’re like kindered souls just, probably not from the same parents, just generationally, but you know what I’m saying? We’re cut from the same cloth.

Jay Conner (28:00): A brother from another mother.

Brad Smotherman (28:04): For sure.

Jay Conner (28:07): So you’re not gonna do any, you’re not gonna do any major rehabs. I get it. So my lands! How do you find, so are you finding most of these deals remotely in other States? Again, as you mentioned using Pay-Per-Click. Google Pay-per-Click.

Brad Smotherman (28:25): A hundred percent. So, I mean, these are people that are actively searching to solve a problem and we’re there when they need to be.

Jay Conner (28:30): I love it when people are looking for me and I’m not looking for them.

Brad Smotherman (28:34): Big difference because people don’t understand the difference in the negotiation structure. So, I mean, if I’m contacting someone to sell me something, versus someone contacting me to buy something, that’s a huge difference in the frame of negotiation. And so we always want to be where someone is searching for us. If we can be, of course, there’s always exceptions. You know, like anything works some of the times. So we can do the text, we can do the direct mail. I used to do 70,000 direct mailers a month. I don’t do any of that anymore because it comes down to, I don’t want to contact someone to sell something. I want people contacting me to buy something.

Jay Conner (29:08): Final question, Brad. At least almost final question I have to, I have to precursor that. So we know how you’re finding these deals. You got all these people that need owner financing. They don’t know there’s a way. So how in the world do you get the word out to all these people that you’ve got owner-financed terms available? How do you find the buyers?

Brad Smotherman (29:29): And that’s a great question. So our big three are Craigslist, Facebook marketplace, and then putting yard signs out that say owner financing. And so…

Jay Conner (29:38): My number one on a, so I sell, I don’t do owner financing out here in this market. That’s another conversation. I do a lot of rent to own. I love your model. Regardless. It’s the same buyer, whether they’re buying owner financing or they’re buying rent to own. But with that, Facebook marketplace, hands down. Is my best lead source for finding these owner finance buyers.

Brad Smotherman (30:04): Yeah. It’s really amazing. I’ve got a, I’d say she’s at least half time and probably closer to three quarter time. And the poor girl, she probably has carpal tunnel by now because like you post a house for sale with owner financing and all of these buy-sell-trade groups. And like, you can see like the computer almost begin to melt because it’s overheating from all the people responding. And it makes sense. I mean, it’s really common in a market. So I’m in Nashville, Tennessee. The last time I checked, there were 2,700 houses on the market on the MLS to service everyone that could get mortgage financing. Well, there were three that were offered with owner financing and they were mine. And so it’s like, if that’s the case, you can see the disparity in the supply demand curve. You have a huge group of demand for very, very little inventory. And so selling the houses never really been a problem.

Jay Conner (30:53): I love it! Brad, I know my audience wants to stay connected with you. How can they stay connected with Brad Smotherman?

Brad Smotherman (31:00): Yeah. So for those that are interested more on owner financing and what we do, then you can listen to my podcast, Investor Creator, on iTunes and the various other platforms. And if anybody wants to reach out to me directly, feel free to do so. At http://BradSmotherman.com

Jay Conner (31:13): That’s awesome, Brad! It’s so great to have you here on the show, Brad, I really enjoyed our conversation. I know the audience did as well. And so let me give it to you for parting comments and final advice.

Brad Smotherman (31:26): You know, the thing that I want to say to people is, always would try to instill the amount of hope that I can, you know, I think a lot of people want to do this business and they have a lot of fear. And I remember how that was in 2010 when I started, because you know, I started in the brokerage business. I was a realtor and not a super successful one at that. I made a living, but you know, whenever I decided to be an investor, I thought, gosh, like nobody’s going to leave a loan in place. Nobody’s going to sell out a discount. Nobody’s, you know, and it’s the same thing that I’ve heard, you know, and here’s kind of like the hierarchy of beliefs that fell down for me. I thought nobody would leave alone in place. Well, that happened.

Brad Smotherman (32:01): And then I thought, well, nobody’s going to sell at 50 cents on the dollar. And then that happened. And then I thought, well, nobody’s going to give me 0% owner financing. And then that happened. And then I thought, well, all of this is because we’re that good in person. We can’t do it on the phone. And then we started buying all of those on the phone. And so at the end of the day, I mean, this business works. It’s an amazing business. It changes lives. And if you feel compelled, you have a passion for the business and you have a passion to help people with their problems and you can do very well in this business. Stay with it.

Jay Conner (32:28): That’s awesome! Brad, thank you so much. And thank you! My audience for tuning in. It’s always great to have you here. And I know you found this episode very valuable. I’m Jay Conner, The Private Money Authority. Wishing you all the best and here is to taking your real estate investing business to the next level. And I’ll see you on the next show. Bye for now!

[dustedmagazine]

Listed: Dr. Pete Larson

Dr. Pete Larson runs Dagoretti Records now, he’s gotten there by an unusually long and winding road. Earlier in his career, Larson fronted 25 Suaves and Couch and ran BULB records. He also trained as an epidemiologist and spent time in Kenya studying the transmission of malaria. While in Kenya, he developed an interest in a lute-like eight-stringed instrument called a nyatiti and studied it with the master player Oduor Nyagweno. All these interests collide in a striking first album from Dr. Pete Larson and His Cytotoxic Nyatiti Band, where the nyatiti “cuts through a haze of electric rock distortion, pinging rhythmically and restlessly against floating euphorias of ululating vocals,” per Jennifer Kelly’s review. Here he lists some favorites from several continents.

I have been asked to create one of these lists for Dusted and here’s what I came up with. Making these lists is kind of difficult. I have a hard time remembering what I’ve been listening to at any moment, but here is a collection of old and new that get frequent airplay in my home. I play a Kenyan lyre, so this heavily leans toward lyre and harps and East African music in general, with some other choice cuts thrown in.

Musicians Of The National Dance Company Of Cambodia — Homrong (Real World Records)

I think I got this record (CD) back in the early 90s when I was selling music to Caroline Records. A friend sent me a box of CD promos, most of which wasn’t very interesting, but fortunately, this one was included. I don’t really know anything about Cambodian music, but for some reason, this collection of mid-tempo Cambodian court jamz plays every couple of months. Lots of weird sort of lurching rhythms and chorus singing with an erhu like instrument over it. A great listen.

Maleem Mahmoud Ghania w/ Pharoah Sanders — Trance of the Seven Colors

The Trance Of Seven Colors by Maleem Mahmoud Ghania w/ Pharoah Sanders

Trance inducing this is. Maleem Mahmoud Ghania is (was) one of the 20th century masters of Moroccan Gnawa music, a sort of spiritual, bass-heavy, rolling kind of music of Morocco. Any recording by Maleem Mahmoud is going to impress, but this mash of up of Gnawa with the great Pharoah Sanders is another level. If you are familiar with Gnawa music, it is a little disorienting to hear Sanders howl over the slow burn trance jamz but you are quickly drawn into what a perfect matchup this ended up being. Released on CD in the 90s, it fortunately has finally gotten a proper vinyl release.

Momoyama Harue — “Lullaby for the mother demon’s baby” (桃山晴衣* ‎– 鬼の女の子守唄)

I was playing the shamisen for a while (a three stringed lute from Japan) and found Momoyama Harue as part of my research. Shamisen is kind of a folky instrument for drinking parlors and entertainment of old Japan. The instrument and the music was nearly dead but saw a revival in the 1960s, similar to folk revivals in the US that brought the banjo back. Momoyama, however, was kind of an outlier, more arty than folky, and more poetry than song. Rather than box the music in an imagined past or try to hopelessly smash it into amplified rock music, she pushed it forward, blending it with ambient synth along with Indian and Middle Eastern musics. One of her best collaborations was with the great Egyptian oud player Hamza el Din that was nearly dead until the 1960s. All of the songs on this record are haunting (as the title suggests), but these tracks with el Din are truly singular. I have been searching for a vinyl copy of this record for years; one day I’ll get lucky.

Lucas Odote — “J. Oreng”

Nyatiti Singles Volume 1 by Lucas Odote

I spent several years in Kenya learning to play the nyatiti, an eight stringed lyre historically played by a group of people in an area around Lake Victoria. I also spent time collecting records, searching for hours in dusty boxes for Kenyan traditional music records. One of my best finds was at Jimmy’s Records in Kenyatta Markets, this record by the great Nairobi based nyatiti player Lucas Odote. Most nyatiti records are just a guy playing solo and more ethno than funky. But this one seems to be Lucas teaming up with what I think to be Nairobi funksters, the Loki Toki Tok band. At least that’s what I can guess. My copy is beat to hell. It took some doing to get some sound out of it, but this is one of my faves in my collection.

Siti Muharam — Siti of Unguja (Romance Revolution On Zanzibar)

Siti of Unguja (Romance Revolution On Zanzibar) by Siti Muharam

I swear I saw Siti Muharam sing on the deck of a hotel bar while vacation in Zanzibar several years ago. I can’t be certain, but I am pretty sure it was her singing for the band I saw. The traditional form of Taarab music is something to be experienced. Taarab music comes from the Arab coast of East Africa, and is this fantastic mix of local feel and Arab sounds, overlapped with heart wrenching songs of lost love and longing. I think there are some foreigners involved in this production, but this is an excellent document of Taarab music at its best.

Grandmaster Masese — “Orogena rwa Baba”

Grandmaster Masese: New African Soundz Singles No.1 by Grandmaster Masese

It might be gauche to put records from your own label on a list like this, but I am first a music fan and second a musician and third a music seller… so this one stays. G-master is a friend of mine from Kenya and one of the best humans I know. One of just a handful of people who play the Obokano, a giant 8 stringed lyre that emits an unforgettable sub-bass buzzing sound and this was his first release in the US and one of my favorite records ever. We recorded this in his kitchen in Nairobi with just a couple of mics over dinner. G is a cool guy. You should listen to his music.

Yagi Michiyo — Seventeen

Yagi is another Japanese musician who specializes in what one would think is a “traditional” instrument, but who brings much more to the table than one would expect. Yagi is a koto player by training. You have probably heard koto in the background music for scenes of Japan in American movies. The version you hear there is mostly lifeless and flat, kind of like a plastic chair in the corner. Yagi, however, plays the 17 string bass koto, invented in the 1920s or so, to try and give new life to the instrument. Yagi creates weird percussive, dissonant music that I can’t really get enough of.

Asnakech Worku (featuring Hailu Mergia) — Asnakech

Asnakech by Asnakech Worku

Asnakech Worku was a lot of things; pioneer, actress, but most notably a female Krar player. Certainly there might have been other female Krar players in Ethiopia at the time, but Krar players are mostly men. The Krar is a lyre from Ethiopia, mostly played with one hand, though there are several playing styles out there. Worku plays haunting sounds on her Krar on this record, backed up by famous Ethiopian keyboardist Hailu Mergia, who really needs no intro.

Ogola Opot — “Domtila Ogola”

This will probably be the only 78 on this list. Ogola Opot is considered the grandfather of the Kenyan nyatiti, coming to prominence in the 1960s and 70s, and creating the genre we know as Siaya style “traditional nyatiti.” If someone asks me what nyatiti music sounds like, this is probably where I would have people start. I include this first because it is a great record and second because it was my holy grail for a while (though I always have new holy grails) and managed to find a pristine copy for sale from a place in France recently. I am not going to say how much I paid for it.

Sosena Gebre Eyesus — S/T (Little Axe Records)

Sosena Gebre Eyesus by Sosena Gebre Eyesus

I bought this record off the net because I am a huge fan of Begena music, this haunting, trance inducing music from Ethiopia that appears to be the go-to for Ethiopian Christians… but this record explained nothing of that. Just a picture of a lady with a begena and no other info…. It took me a while to put together what the record was and where it came from, but the sounds contained within are impeccable. Just 40 minutes of weird undersea tones on a giant bass lyre.

[muwitch]

Why the Fullbringer Arc is an important plot milestone - 2

the continuation of this post and I’m bak on my bullshit~ remember my brain will jump to things

also CFYOW spoilers

so part 2/?

key figures and themes of the arc

So last time I said that ppl disliked the majority of new characters because, as opposing to the ones we grew familiar with, the arc was differently paced and so we didn’t have time at large to form some sort of solid connection to them.

And here the magic happens, because we do not have time to get attached to the characters and they seem to be faded against the background of all the others.

But apart from COMPARISON Fullbringers are quite an independent unit that focuses not on how much reiatsu you have, but on skill

In the Can't fear your own world novel the origin of Fullbringer power is revealed and it’s shown how actually universally badass those powers are, take Tsukishima for example, who grows a tree in a second to ward off lightning, simply adding himself to the past. Atomic.

For living people even just getting close to the level of those with whom they fought (three captains and three leutenants) and not dying in the first moment (except u Giriko) is a great achievement. For people who are not Ichigo Kurosaki with a family tree rivaling GoT of course. 

There is another important motive associated with fullbringers, which I mentioned above, and this is LONELINESS. And it's served so brilliantly that I'm going to die now.

If you look and read carefully, it becomes clear that even the fullbringers gathered together are unusually, exasperately lonely. (See the cover? They reach out but never do truly connect) This is the curse of their power. This is their main weakness. This is their unusual humanity and kinship with the Hollows.

This is also why, but that’s my guess, their whole presentation is very lacking, to show how they fall out of everyday life and proper sozialising, so even we, as readers, cannot properly connect to them. Same reach out, but not hold symbolism. Or I am giving too much credit, we just don’t know?

Even the one who has assembled the whole group, Ginjo, is an even lonelier person who has terrible trust issues, who survived betrayal and persecution, and everything that he once believed in was set upside down. And even knowing what kind of person he is, fullbringers, driven by loneliness, followed him. (Though, we must admit, he weilds his words well and rolls +20 on persuation)

Because, although for a short time, he helped them to bear the burden of this loneliness.

Needless to say, the entire initial situation with OG fullbringers happened not only bc of some noble meddling, but also due to the fact that Ginjo gathered people to TAKE POWER FROM THEM SO THEY COULD LIVE A NORMAL LIFE

Ironically enough, each Fullbringer posesses a piece of SOUL KING, which is the source of their power and lures Hollows to pregnant mothers, which is such an important piece of information it makes me mad it was only explained in CFYOW. 

Although it is understandable why Kubo chose not to focus on it during the arc. My take is he planned to show the importance of Fullbringers and their origins during TYBW, but we all know it didn’t happen.

Another common theme that follows from the previous two is PTSD, which unites the characters and key figures of the arc, and the paths of experiencing trauma constitute another conflict, where Ichigo overcomes it through friends and the return of strength and motivation, as opposed to Ginjo, who choses destuctive way to handle his own trauma.

In short flashbacks shown during “Pray for Predators” chapters, we can also clearly see PSTD practically in every person’s past. Each of Fullbringers go about it differenly, most proactive being probably Riruka and most reactive being Tsukishima and Ginjo. Which is also symbolically shown that people, who can go own with their lives and finally integrate into society stay alive. Those, who cannot, go to SS and are set into new path by more drastic measures.

I will surely attribute to the pluses how Kubo shows Ichigo's PTSD, literally in 3-4 chapters showing how he cannot, like Remarque's hero, settle in peacetime, because he constantly catches triggers, for example with his substitute badge.

Through Ichigo’s thoughts is shown how he merged with his position as a substitute shinigami and constantly thinks in categories that are not very applicable to his normal life, which he seemed to have dreamed of for 16 years And now he actually got it, but absolutely does not know what to do with it.

Kubo skillfully fuels PTSD and Ichigo's anxiety which is why he is being swayed by Ginjo's words correctly spoken at the right time.

 Example: Karin speaks of his brother, they say he always fought to protect  Ginjo fuels Ichigo’s doubt , saying he must act to protect his family

Accordingly, the theme approaches the climax for a push into the plot at the time of the attack on Ishida, Ichigo gets a punch in the gut twice: first from Ishida himself, who, with his unwillingness to tell things, pokes Ichigo into his helplessness and excludes him from the circle of trust, which IS the last blow 

And then from Ishida's father, who by his behavior shows that Ichigo's efficiency now amounts to zero, so much so that he cannot even protect Orihime while she walks home, which is why he runs away in frustrated feelings, realizing the message. So this intro is absolutely veritable and ingenious.

And so that you understand how desperate Ichigo is, if not yet, then here is a panel where FATTEST visual forshadowing happens. And here is an absolutely genius moment to understand that Ichigo is not a child but a teenager with all that it implies

He may be battle-hardened, but this is a 17-year-old living boy with trust issues, and if we remember that through his manager's lips we are given a direct hint that Ichigo is still immature in a way, so the meaning of this arc as a stage of Ishigo's psychological maturation becomes clearer.

Just look at the face he has when Ginjo promises to return his powers (not to mention the hysterics after that) Is this a healthy person's face?

And here my hands are literally itching to start talking about Ginjo, because to give an antihero who, in addition, will have a much closer dynamics with Ichi than Urahara, plus for the duration of the arc  will act as a mentor and father figure, this is just genius. Don’t @ me.

But the next plus, which will then bring us further, and this is THE Forshadowing 

Everywhere, just everywhere, starting from the very first pages.

And Kubo still confuses us in the course of the narrative, but my god, when you re-read, Easter eggs are crammed almost in every chapter and I think its beautiful. Both verbal (Ginjo is such a bad actor that he has to change his memory badumts) and visual

The plus that I mentioned earlier is 100% more lively dynamics between Ginjo and Ichi, because both are people and in fact, there is much more than it may seem at first, that brings both together. And the friendly connection that they establish with each other in this arc still not 100% false placeholder. (Which is easily spotted by the way Ginjo adresses Ichigo through the arc especially last chapters). 

And at the same time, they are in many ways the antonyms of each other, in age, color scheme, design, even names and also in what gives them motivation, in how they react to this or that event. For example, Ichigo is quite an emotional guy and puts his soul into everything, so to speak, then Ginjo, for example

Plus, the latter is not only skillful manipulator, but also embittered. And through such contrast, with generally the same input data, Kubo shows us that there is always a different path, leading to the topic choice, and where each specific one can lead a character.

Which absolutely doesn’t stop Ichigo from familirizing himself right off the bat and the two of them have comedy gold moments from the start. It is more lively, than being set against 300+ y.o. Urahara (whom I love as a character).

And, cross my heart Isshin is a great character, but he’s got that father of the year award, and Urahara can only give like a little itsy bitsy of information at a time only if it benefits him or a bigger picture, so the mentor’s role goes to Ginjo, which is well earned as he is technically the First Substitute. 

Ginjo is a mentor, a guide, and the main antagonist of the arc, which in itself is an unexpected and interesting combination within the framework of  Bleach. Here is a living example, in the moment of training he can go so far as to help Ichigo overcome his psychological barrier by simply and cruelly breaking him.

Which he does in the most painful way, through the trauma and inability of Ichigo to protect his loved ones. And from the reaction of the latter, childish and naive, his immaturity can be clearly seen (see the previous points). Although we do not know this yet, Ginjo is constantly trying to teach Ichigo one lesson that he himself learned the hard way. 

Combining this with such an important praise for a teenager and faith in Ighigo’s powers, which Ichigo was deprived of for 17 months as soon as he lost his powers as a shinigami ( all relatives are trying to isolate him from this, no one believes that he can and is able to stand up for him). This is another plus of the arc, namely the whole depth of the betrayal that Ichigo experiences when the cards are revealed.

Maybe the quincy arc would go completely differently, if Ichigo felt Ishida's betrayal or reacted to the truth about his mother in a different way. Did Ginjo not temper/prepare Ichigo in the way he did, did he involuntary not strengthen Ichi internally... Who knows how Bleach would end in general.

 This is to the question of the importance of this arc yes 

P.S  Strengthening the body also benefited Ichigo.Friendly reminder that he fights in his physical body for the entire arc except the end.

And the training episode immediately appears in a different light, right? 

And in my next hot take I will focus on another really important thing which is salvation and my own bitterness of why didn’t Kubo explore the whole SS thing and now we have to fee ourselves