#because they’re both so devastated by the separation

[ultimablades]

Sorry for being a broken record about this, but last night I was working on a scene that takes place in Coerthas between the Celaine meeting and Tailfeather and I just get sooooo tendy thinking about how much time Sanson and Guydelot spent just with each other. Like the WoL is popping in and out as necessary but they spend most of their journey just with each other. And I’m always thinking about all those unseen moments between before the ~fight~ in Tailfeather where they must have been getting closer despite their initial misunderstanding. Like what were they talking about, what were they doing, what kind of sights did they seen together for the first time. How do you not start to slowly fall in love when you’re both seeing an aurora borealis for the first time or venturing into a completely foreign forest together.

[loaksky]

I don't know if you've done this yet but can we have mean ellie is FWB with the reader but she's jealous when the reader is into someone else 👀

i have not + you know what anon i could kiss your brain rn ! i definitely view this pairing as separate from this fwb!ellie x reader, but this could also technically fit in their early timeline since nothing else has really been established about them...

content warnings: language, ellie being an asshole (very on brand for me to write ig lmao), reader actually sticks up for herself in this one, but eventually folds (i would too for ellie ngl) 18+ content that includes; brief mentions of strap-on sex, fingering (r!receiving), oral (r!receiving).

author’s note: i’ve been so unmotivated to write, but this request awoke something in me idk...also, if you’ve sent in a tlou request (yes even from june), i’m still cooking i promise! (and not in the way that ellie keeps promises in this fic lmfaoo).

main masterlist | tlou masterlist

You didn’t want to say anything at first, couldn’t be too sure under the lowlights of the party with bass-y music that makes both the house and your chest throb with every beat, but you see it clear as day on the drive home and a passing streetpost illuminates the purpling flesh on Ellie’s carotid.

She nearly jumps out of her skin when your fingertips brush over the blooming bruise, obviously fresh and warm to the touch.

“What the fuck?” she huffs, pulling the drawstrings on her hoodie to scrunch to fabric around her neck.

“Who gave you that?” you ask softly, expression on your face enough to devastate, but Ellie’s always been different, an anomaly of sorts when it came to the matters of her stony heart.

“Why does it matter?” she scoffs.

“Ellie,” you sigh. “You know why it matters.”

She’s swinging a right at the intersection, nearing the residential you live in.

“It doesn’t,” she grunts. “Because at the end of the night, it’s you I’m fucking, isn’t it?”

And you don’t know why the way she puts it stings so much this time around when she frequently reminds you both directly and indirectly that while you may be her most recurrent hookup, you’re definitely not her only one, but it does. Does so much that you’re turning your face towards the window to hide the tears that are pooling.

Because all you wanted was Ellie. Wanted her in ways she wasn’t willing to give you. Wanted to learn and grow with her, but she wasn’t budging and lately, you’ve been feeling stupid.

When she turns into your neighborhood, you speak.

“Just drop me off, please.”

Ellie’s slowing down, palm finding purchase on your thigh.

“Babe, c’mon,” she practically whines, kneading the skin there. “Don’t be like that.”

You shift away from her, gather your purse from your feet as she continues through the different apartment buildings.

“Babe,” she calls again when you barely wait for her to stop and you’re pushing the car door open.

And maybe it’s childish, but you’re wounded and quite frankly done with the back and forth.

“She’s probably waiting for you,” you add petulantly.

“Babe, seriously. You’re being annoying,” she warns.

“And you’re being a dick,” you bite back. “First, you drag me out to a shitty party where I don’t know a single soul even though you promised we could just chill and smoke while watching that stupid fucking space exploration documentary, then when we get there, you’re leaving me with a bunch of sleazy assholes while you do god knows what with the same girl you’ve been telling me not to worry about for the last five weeks.”

And of things Ellie’s looks horrified at, it’s the fact that you’d been observant enough to recognize the girl she’d thought she whisked away before your prying eyes could catch on.

“I’m not fucking stupid, Ellie,” you say with resignation. “I tried to turn the other cheek because I really fucking like you, but you treat me like shit and I deserve better than that.”

Of course you don’t know it, but those fucking words bite. They’re an automatic trigger because unbeknownst to you, both of your friend groups think the same thing. Aren’t afraid to let her know otherwise. And she’s obviously well aware that, Christ, yes, you absolutely deserve better. Is actually really insecure on the low because she doesn’t know why you stick around with a piece of shit like her when you could have so much better.

So she does what she does best when she feels like a kicked puppy and lashes out.

“Of course Little Miss Princess deserves better,” she mocks. “What fucking ever. I don’t know why I flaked on a ten for such a stuck up bitch.”

And you see right through her, know that she’s all bark and no bite, but it hurts regardless, when you step off to the side and she’s leaning over the center console to shut the passenger side door herself.

She’s revving off without another word, and to add insult to injury, your phone’s pinging obnoxiously once you get out of your well-needed shower.

els <3 sent a video.

It’s the blonde from the party. Of course those dumb LEDs pulse red in the background, making Ellie and her flavor of the night look a thousand times more seductive. Ellie’s kissing her sloppily, whispering things against her mouth that you can’t quite pick out.

els <3 sent a video.

The next video’s grainy, but you can hear the tell-tale squelch, the girl’s shaky moans and Ellie egging her on. Your cheeks are on fire and you feel like you’re about to throw up.

els <3 sent a photo.

You wonder if the girl knows, that Ellie’s sending you the most compromising footage of her. If she knows how grimy the green-eyed girl truly is, sending someone else pictures of her stuffed hilt-deep with the same strap Ellie’d used on you.

els <3: still think u deserve better ?

You delete the thread and her phone number.

Ellie expects you to crack first, you always do. Because even if she isn’t shit, she’s your biggest weakness and she knows it. Can say so with confidence, because maybe the same can be said about her.

She hasn’t fucked you in nearly two weeks and not a single body she touches can elicit the same feeling that you do. And in the back of her brain, she knows why, but Ellie’s prideful. Won’t dare admit it out loud.

So she cracks first. Texts you between classes.

me: i have a few joints + a coupon to tino’s if you’ll let me come over… :(

my #1 girl: Who’s this?

Ellie throws her head back and groans.

me: cmon baby, dont b like that. im srry i was mean, ill make it up to u

my #1 girl: I think you have the wrong number…

me: babe stopppp

Her text bubbles turn green after that message.

You forget that Ellie has a copy of your key because she’s never used it in the five months that the two of you have been in this precarious situation, and your heart falls square to your ass when you emerge from the shower to find her setting up a box of pizza on your coffee table.

“Ellie, what in the fuck?”

She feigns nonchalance, pulls a few joints from her jacket pocket. But the aroma of weed or the grease of the pizza isn’t what makes you wrinkle your nose.

It’s the smell of flowers that waft from a pretty vase sitting on the cut away of the kitchen counter.

Your gaze fixes on the girl who settles on your couch.

“You need to leave,” you say stonily.

“But I just got here,” Ellie says. “And I brought you pizza…and flowers.”

“I’m sorry, did you think that a five dollar pizza and a bouquet of flowers from Saver’s was going to fix the fact that you’ve been so fucking awful to me for the past half year?”

Ellie shrinks.

“Well, no…but—”

“You practically sent me a homemade porno of you and some other girl you fucked to get back at me for setting a boundary, Ellie,” you say sharply. “What, did it not work out? Did you—”

“I’m trying to be the bigger person here,” Ellie sighs. “I am sorry. I just—”

“You what?”

“I don’t fucking know, okay?” Ellie snips. “God, you’re talking down to me like you’re a fucking therapist or my fucking mom and—”

You’re shaking your head, crossing the room and picking up the pizza from the coffee table to shove in her arms.

“I don’t have time for this,” you mutter. “Kenzie’s going to be here any minute now—”

“Who the fuck is Kenzie?” Ellie balks, caught like a deer in the headlights.

“Ellie, don’t,” you warn.

“Don’t what?” she practically seethes. “You think I’m just gonna be okay that you’re spending time with some other stupid bitch? Maybe you’ve forgotten, but you’re mine.”

And she shouldn’t have glanced down at your cleavage as you cross your arms over your chest, but Ellie’s weak and you look too fucking pretty for your own good.

“Yours?” you ask incredulously. “Do you hear yourself?”

“Yes, mine,” Ellie affirms. “All fucking mine and no one else’s.”

“God, you’re so full of shit, Ellie,” you scoff. “I’m supposed to be loyal to you and be okay with you having a roster, but I can’t go on a date with someone I genuinely like because it fucks with your brain to have a legitimate interest in somebody?”

“You like her?” Ellie asks in disbelief. “Like, like her, like her?”

“Yes,” you reply without hesitation.

And that makes Ellie’s jaw set, makes her narrow her eyes at you.

“You like her more than me?” she taunts.

And maybe she has you there, but you refuse to give her the upper hand.

“I could learn to,” you answer honestly. “Because Kenzie is kind to me. She doesn’t treat me like an option, doesn’t act like she’s God’s gift to the fucking world and that I should kiss her feet for giving me the time of day. And I get it, you don’t like me the way I like you—”

“You think I don’t like you?” Ellie asks like the thought is unfathomable.

“I don’t think, Ellie, I know. We went into this without any strings attached, we established that it’d just be fucking, but I was honest in telling you that I caught feelings and you used that to your advantage. You lied to me on multiple occasions, you make me look stupid, like I’m fucking crazy.”

And you wish you’d gotten through your spiel without choking up, but Ellie’s the first girl you’d liked in a while even if she was bad news. And when you thought that maybe you could shake her, she’d come barreling back.

“Baby,” she murmurs, face softening as she’s crossing the space between you two to cup your face in her hands.

“Don’t call me that,” you hiccup, trying to push her touch away.

“Babe, stop,” she says firmly. “I’m serious. You think I don’t like you?”

“Well, you don’t fucking act like it,” you mutter. “Whatever. It doesn’t matter anyways because whatever this was is done. You’re free to do what you want, who you want, whether you like me or not.”

God, do you unwittingly light a fire under Ellie’s ass when she thinks of what this Kenzie girl could do to you if she lets you walk out the door. Absolutely loathes the thought of anyone else knowing what you look like in any state of indecency, that you fucking cry watching children’s movies, that you snore like a freight train if you’re tired enough and have a weird ass penchant for pickle chips when you’re high.

“You’re not going on that fucking date,” Ellie says with finality, palms sliding from your shoulders to skim down the length of your arms and situate over the swell of your hips.

“Who says?”

“Me,” she huffs. “Because I’m going to make it up to you and we’re going to smoke these blunts and eat this fucking pizza and I’m going to make you cum so fucking hard, you won’t even remember that you were thinking of leaving me for someone else.”

“You’re not my girlfriend, Ellie,” you reiterate. “You can’t just–”

“Maybe not then, and maybe not in this moment, but I will be,” she says, and the words catch you completely off guard.

She’s catching your bottom lip between hers to further disorient you, kissing you like this could very well be her last.

“Just give me some time,” she whispers, walking you back towards your bedroom. “I’ll get my shit together for you. Promise.”

And you know deep down that you shouldn’t believe her. She’s just feeling territorial and grasping at straws to keep you leashed, but Ellie’s always been such a good kisser and she’s devouring you like she really is sorry.

She’s tossing your against your unmade bed, caging you between lithe limbs as she leans back on her haunches to take you in. Your blouse rides up to reveal the flimsy bands of your lacy little thong and Ellie’s lacking decency as she flips your skirt up to reveal a growing patch of wetness.

“Were you planning on getting fucked or do you always go out like this?” Ellie ponders, fingers rough as she pulls the tiny scrap of fabric down your legs and nearly salivates when a string of your arousal leaves with it.

Your lips part to answer, but her thumb’s dipping between your folds, pad collecting some of your slick from your drooling slit to smear over your achey little bud.

“I asked you a question,” Ellie says gently. “You just gotta be honest with me, baby.”

“S’hot out,” you whimper, fingers closing around her wrist when your body jerks against a particularly delicious stroke of her thumb.

“Yeah?” she clarifies. “You wouldn’t let any else touch you, would you? Not when I take good care of you like this?”

Her other hand comes to toy with your entrance, doesn’t give you any warning before her middle and ring finger are sinking inside slowly.

“Oh, fuck,” you whine.

“You’re my girl, you hear me?” Ellie murmurs, leaning down to catch your clit between her lips. “You’ll be my number one, always.”

She’s teasing at first, tongue languid against your fluttering pussy, but you’re quiet, back of your wrist caught between your teeth to muffle your moans.

One of her hands reach up to yank it away.

“Say it,” she barks, pulling away from your needy heat.

“Ellie,” you whimper.

“Say it,” she repeats firmly.

“M’your girl,” you moan shakily, thighs quivering as she smoothes her palms over the underside of your thighs to push them up to your chest.

“Yeah, you are,” she whispers, spitting harshly on your heat. “My favorite fucking pussy.”

She’s eating you out like she’s missed you, like she’ll only be satisfied when you finally cum. And maybe it’s true.

Maybe not.

Especially when she draws nearly three orgasms from you and practically knocks you out.

You don’t know how long you doze off for, but when you finally wake up, the sun has almost completely set, bathing your room in a burnt orange glow that leaves your dewy skin warm and sticky. And perhaps it’s wishful thinking when you call Ellie’s name, met only with the echo of your raspy voice. After all, you’re tucked on the wrong side of bed, elusive girl nowhere to be found.

As you dress and search for your phone, you can’t even find it in yourself to be surprised.

neng ©️2023

[year2000electronics]

i think obsessive/selfish/misguided love or “harmful” love in general as an antithetical theme to gravity falls’ theme of love and family makes so much sense. if you think about it, a lot of the conflict in the show is born out of selfishness and obsessiveness and loving people as objects or means to an end. obviously, you have the big examples like gideon for mabel and giffany for soos, but every time both sets of the pines twins have butted heads, it’s usually been because of that too. just in like, a different way.

stan and mabel are both relying on dipper and ford to stay anchored to them forever to secure their happiness, and even though it’s a totally okay thought to have and dipper and ford weren’t in too much of a rush to consider their feelings, it’s a bandaid solution at best! dipper ends up NOT leaving because that’s the right thing for them but it’s not totally because the pines twins are a “set of two” who can’t be separated. it’s a decision they make mutually! mabel even says that she would be okay with dipper taking the apprenticeship, she just needed a minute to be frustrated!

and then of course you have stan and ford where stan leaving ford meant stan would lose his only friend, but even in their adult years, they clearly still love each other (ford and stan both apologizing profusely every time they land a devastating enough hit) but their selfish desire to have the other admit they’re the “villain”, to have a scapegoat to blame a whole series of factors on, overtakes them and buries that love. even as old men they’re still trying to get something out of the other before anything else (ford’s house and name, stan’s “thank you”). stan and ford want to love each other deep down so badly but this giant means to an end is in the way

you even see that sort of motif with characters like dipper and pacifica, where dipper’s crush on wendy almost always has negative results because, not only can it never be due to the age gap, but every time he tries to court her, it’s usually in the way a prize is to be won. he makes an itemized list of a process that is “guaranteed” to impress wendy, he literally brakes the laws of space time just so robbie won’t date her (as if one single snow cone is keeping him from his success), gets a job at the pool just so he can hang out with her, and jumps at the opportunity to prove robbie is evil. etc etc. and with pacifica it’s clear that her parents’ love is very transactional and conditional. if EVEN that.

so the fact that book of bill is setting up bill to be like a clingy ex to ford- more than that, it’s setting up ford to be the only human bill cares about THIS much! it feels like the ultimate way to tie bill to that theme of how love can harm as much as it can heal. like, he’s always been an obstacle to the pines’ happy ending, but this way, we see his reaction to love in his psyche play out, and you understand why he’s the opposite and obstacle to the pines. the stan twins hurt each other and it takes an entire show’s worth of growth for them to fix it. gideon hurt mabel but him letting dipper and the group into her bubble proves he’s willing to change. bill hurt ford and he throws a temper tantrum and denies everything, trying to use force to get things back to the way they were because in his own twisted way he really does love and care for ford. i’m sure even a traumatized millenia old dream demon could change but for now bill doesn’t! and that kinda makes him and ford’s relationship the perfect tie in to the themes in the show

[vvitchllng]

In addition to Everything Else that happened this episode, I can’t stop thinking about the moment where Laudna asks him why Seedling isn’t enough why he wants This sword and Orym’s whole demeanor shifts and he looks Laudna dead in the eyes and says you’re right why Would you reach for a darker power.

Orym and Laudna are the characters with the most interparty conflict and they’re the same!!!!!!! At their core their strongest motivation is their drive to protect the ones they love at the cost of themselves if necessary. We see it all the time with Orym throwing himself in front of his friends over and over again, making deals with fae to try and keep them safe. And we see it all the time with Laudna and Delilah, where over and Over again she lures Laudna with the promise of being strong enough to protect her friends, to keep them safe. We saw it again tonight when Delilah manipulated her to get the sword by telling her it was a danger to Orym!!

Both of them looked at the power that caused their pain and decided to take it for their own, to use it to protect their loved ones instead, because if it was capable of such devastation against them, it was capable of delivering that same devastation to their enemies. Laudna asking why seedling isn’t enough (why he isn’t enough, the frustrated self-deprecating response “I have Push-ups!”) and Orym returning the question because Laudna Does have her own power separate from Delilah, she just doesn’t think its enough for what’s coming!!!

They both lost their families, but where Orym had the rest of his family, a purpose, a home, Laudna lost Everything and only had the voice of her murderer as comfort in the cold. So now they’re both taking on the power that destroyed their lives, but Orym can be rational and willing to have a discussion about doing so, while Laudna absolutely Cannot do the same because of how entwined she is with Delilah (with Delilah quite literally guiding her actions in addition to the years of psychological manipulation and abuse), and so they’re the same and yet so utterly different that they keep coming up against this fundamental inability to understand the other’s position because despite the same underlying motivations, their responses are so different.

Why would you reach for a darker power, why can you not understand why I’m doing this, why can you not see I’m doing this For You. Distorted reflections of each other wanting to be understood and at a loss when faced with the differences between them, what a fucking dynamic.

[enm-enthusiast]

Birthday Buzz

I want to give special thanks to @suitedwestend for helping me develop quite a few of the ideas and erotic turns of this story. Thanks for being such a great source of inspiration, and I hope to strip you naked in-person someday! ;)

Here's a short little ENM story for you all, I wanted to do a few side projects before ultimately returning to my main series, and hey, if this does well I may make it a separate ongoing series. I've always wanted to do a CYOA-style series, and I'd like to think this one would fit that roll, but lmk what you all think, and please, enjoy!

Mark

Mark and Adrian were happily married husbands who were both in their early-thirties, Mark was turning 33 today while Adrian was fast approaching 35 in just a few months. Mark was a tall, muscled bear with a bit of facial hair that he kept neatly groomed, had black hair and bright green eyes. His office clothes always clung on to him tightly because of his big, beefy frame yet he kept himself in good shape, especially his glutes as he had a magnificent bubble butt that sometimes earned him a leering stare or two at the office. Adrian however, was a shorter, lean otter with blonde hair and blue eyes. 

They met in their early twenties at a gay bar and have been inseparable ever since, and got married five years ago, but occasionally they’ll ask a third to join them in the bedroom. That’s just the thing about these two, they’re Kinky with a capital K, into all sorts of scenes. A few in particular that the two had been trying out lately were ENM and Control Toys…

You see, big tough Mark had a shameful little secret…he was a total sub, and was often Adrian’s submissive slave, completely under his husband's control. 

Nowadays, Adrian had been ‘forcing’ Mark to strip naked outside, even streak across their neighborhood at night sometimes, and sometimes threatened to shave off thick Mark’s body hair. As embarrassed and humiliated he often felt at being so exposed…it gave him such a hard-on, his uncut cock often swinging at full mast between his legs as he streaked. 

This brings us to the couple’s latest adventure, however, because Adrian had bought his husband a remote control vibrator for his birthday today, and made him try it out right before Mark had to leave for work…He was almost late because of how lost he got in the pleasure of Adrian making him beg to make the toy buzz inside his ass.

Even now, at work, the mere memory of it made Mark feel a slight stirring in his crotch, which made his face flush red and he instinctively bowed his head closer to his desk to keep anyone from seeing his embarrassed, yet aroused state. Mark silently cursed however, as there was one problem with doing just that…the toy was still inside of him.

It was off, of course, but Adrian had ordered Mark to keep it inside him all day at work, and that he had better not cum before getting home in just a few hours now, promising to show his husband just how grateful he’d be if he did as he was told. Mark couldn’t help but feel a shiver down his spine as he remembered how his husband had leaned in close to his ear and whispered “good boy” right as he was heading out the door. Mark had almost got on his knees right there and then to beg for Adrians cock in either his mouth or his ass, but he managed to keep it together, after all, he had a party to attend at work.

His party, in fact, for everyone at the office had put together a small celebration for him during the last half hour of work today, and he knew they’d be devastated if he missed a second of it. Mark worked in a small office department, made up mostly of men except for management who were all on vacation for the next three days. 

Mark just had one hour left now, he’d celebrate with the guys at the office then head straight back home to his husband, his cock began to throb to near full hardness in his tight office pants thinking about worshiping his husband's cock, maybe even stripping naked outside again?

Snap out of it! You're not 25 anymore, act like it! Mark said to himself, shaking off his arousal as best he could and finished up his closing paperwork. 

As soon as he was done, he looked towards the office clock and saw that the party started in just a few minutes, and he smiled as he got up. Mark’s cock had finally deflated, though his pants still felt strangely tight, especially around his famous bubble butt, he merely shrugged it off, however, and he strutted towards the main office, fully confident he had everything under control…but did he?

Adrian

Adrian smiled to himself as he knew the party would be starting any minute now, and he looked away from his watch towards the remote of the toy he had made his husband keep inside him as he left for work this morning. Adrian knew and understood his husband often more than Mark did, and suspected, no he knew that Mark secretly enjoyed it whenever Adrian made him strip outside, or rather made him expose himself publicly. Thus, as he prepared to hit the switch for the remote, Adrian knew that his hubby would get his biggest thrill yet as he attempted to deal with the embarrassment of having a vibrating butt plug make him hard in front of his entire office!

Adrian’s own 6-inch penis began to harden in his pants at his husband's ordeal, and his smile never left his face as he turned on the remote, waited for it to connect to it over WiFi, and once the light turned green he pondered which setting to start at…

The remote had three settings: Low, Medium, and High. Adrian had only used the Medium setting this morning and it made Mark near delirious with how good it felt inside him…so he thought why not start small? his fingers didn’t hesitate to hit the Low setting button, and eagerly awaited his husbands return with the results.

Mark

Mark had been chatting with his office buddies, Jake and Bobby, when he nearly lurched over as he felt a familiar buzz coming from…

Oh no.

The buzzing didn’t stop either, it started as a low hum that was now rising to a sensual buzz, and it took everything Mark had to not moan as he felt his hole contract around the plug. His face began to redden and blood was flowing elsewhere too and Mark panicked as he could feel his cock hardening quickly.

“Hey Mark, everything okay?” Jake asked.

“Yeah, you were talking about you and Adrian possibly adopting kids in a few years, then suddenly you looked like you just saw your parents having sex or something” Bobby said.

Jake and Bobby were around the same age as Mark, and had known them since his freshman year in college, entering this office together, they were his best buds. As far as Mark knew, Jake was straight, but Bobby he knew was bi, they had a brief altercation in senior year when they were both drunk, and Bobby had sucked Mark’s cock, and Mark had even fucked Bobby. Neither of them spoke of that night again, yet Bobby still desired Mark from time to time, but kept it to himself because he knew Mark was married. If only he knew the opportunities before him…

“Oh…ummm. Yes! Yes i'm fine, I’m perfectly fine” Mark said, fumbling over his words as he used his hands to steady himself between two cubicles, as the buzzing from the toy continued to torment and pleasure him. He shifted his hips to try and hide his now raging hard-on, which was stretching his already tight pants to the limit. Mark should have asked his husband for some new office pants, but he liked how the tight clothing showed off his bubble butt…

He was certainly paying for it now, Mark thought to himself as his friends shared a concerned glance between each other.

“Are you sure you're okay man? I’ve never seen you like this before, if you're not feeling well we can take you home, so come on, just tell us what’s wrong” Bobby said. Mark’s friend was an average man who often went to the gym with his buddies, and was a tad darker with a caramel skin tone than the others yet had a defined physique, and was uncut just like Mark was. He had brown hair and hazel eyes, which were currently furrowed underneath his brow as he started worriedly at his friend.

“Guys, I’m telling you, I’m fine, okay?” Mark said, managing a steady, confident tone with a hint of finality to it that seemed to satisfy them…for now.

Meanwhile, Mark glanced at the clock and he still had another 15 minutes before he could leave, he downed the rest of his drink in one gulp and tried to compose himself as best he could. He could almost curse his husband for turning on the plug while Mark was at work, but…he couldn’t deny the pleasure and thrill he was getting from it. He was being toyed with like this, at his husband’s mercy…and no one had a clue, it made his dick throb even more and he stifled a groan as the pants were becoming unbearably tight.

He continued to chat with his friends and mingled with a few of the other guys from the office, they even brought out a small cake that they had bought for him, the plug was buzzing inside Mark the entire time they were singing the “Happy Birthday” song, and when he blew out the candles. He told no one what his wish was. (You’ll find out later ;)  ).

Once they had finished eating their slices of cake, with only 10 minutes left, things were about to get much worse for poor Mark, as Adrian back home decided it was time to kick things up a notch, and hit the Medium Setting button on the remote.

Just then, Mark felt the plug inside his ass go from a low buzz to something that made him cry out with a loud “Ohhhhh” and he covered his mouth to try and stop himself but it was too late, he exchanged glances with both Jake and Bobby who were staring at him with abject confusion now.

Mark couldn’t find the words, he wanted to fall to his knees, strip off his tight pants, and make himself cum despite the presence of his best friends, the thought of it turned him on a little in fact..he cast his head down in absolute shame as he felt so utterly humiliated that he was being reduced to a wobbling, moaning mess all because of a little toy.

“Mark, seriously, you’ve been acting strange tonight, I’m starting to think you’re not telling us something, I know that look in your eyes, you’ve always been such a bad liar, so come on, spill it” Bobby said in a firm tone, and he said it so confidently that it turned Mark on a little as it reminded him of the way his husband often got him to spill whatever was bothering him.

As Mark tried to open his mouth and answer with a simple need to go to the bathroom, Adrian suddenly switched the plug up to its highest setting, while Mark had been attempting to pull out his phone and text his husband, to beg him to stop. The sudden jolt he felt as the toy's vibration tripled in intensity made Mark whimper and his cock was harder than it had ever been, as he dropped his phone, which slid between his legs and landed just a few feet behind him.

Jake and Bobby stared in disbelief at the display, and as Mark turned around and began to bend over to reach his phone, bending his knees slightly so his tall frame could reach the floor. Mark bit his lip to keep himself from constantly moaning, and swore he could hear the plug vibrating in his ass now. He was so distracted by the plug and his phone that he momentarily forgot how tight his pants were, and didn’t realize until it was too late that the fabric was giving way, it was too much, and he didn’t hear the little rips and tears right at the seat of his pants. As soon as he fully bent himself over Mark’s face went white as he heard and felt a resounding:

RIIIIIIIIIPPPPP

The back seat of his pants ripped open, and felt the open air of the office on his bare ass as he had poorly chosen to wear his bright pink jockstrap. Mark was momentarily frozen until he realized that Jake and Bobby were getting a full view of his accidental exposure.  What was worse was that his jockstrap pouch was soft and silky, which made his dick feel that much more sensitive as it hardened in his pants. Once it was fully hard, however, his cock had practically pushed the material away, which made him feel like he was practically commando.

Thus, he felt the cold office air hitting his balls dangling between his legs, his cock too was swinging proudly which only heightened Mark’s humiliation.

As soon as he shook off his initial shock, Mark covered up his exposed bubble butt with one hand and stood right back up, his phone in hand, and slowly turned around. His face was crimson red as he faced his friends, who were staring at him with their mouths hanging open in complete shock, thought it seemed Jake found it a little amusing as he had a slight smirk on his face, but Bobby had a look of something else in his eyes, something Mark didn’t notice as he was too preoccupied with everything going on all at once, it was too much, he was so aroused…he needed to cum.

“I ummm…I need to go” Mark said before quickly running off towards the office bathrooms, and he didn’t even notice that there was only 1 minute left on the clock.

Mark ran, his hand still covering his exposed ass, and quickly reached the men's bathrooms and threw himself into the nearest open stall and locked himself in. Mark had never felt more embarrassed in his life, and he whipped out his phone to text his husband what had happened…

*Wow, you ripped your pants? Better take em off then*

Mark stared at the words Adrian had texted back for a few seconds before processing them fully. The plug was still vibrating but it went back down to Medium setting after Adrian had seen his text. 

*Are you insane?!* Mark replied.

*Well, the way I see it, you can either walk out with a hole in your pants, or you can be a good boy and take them off…now* Adrian said.

Mark didn’t think it was a good idea, but…they were ripped. He pondered what to do as Bobby quietly entered the bathroom…He was intrigued as he had seen quite clearly what Mark had inside him when his pants had ripped, and had guessed that that was probably why he had been acting so strange, and he was eager to try and see more, so he made up an excuse to Jake that he was going to check on Mark while the others cleaned up and left. Bobby quietly crept up towards the stall, taking out his phone and setting his camera up to film in the crack between the stall door. He wanted to save this as potential jerk-off material for later…his dick hardened as he saw Mark inside, his heart thundered in his chest as his friend’s hands fumbled towards his belt.

Mark was too distracted to notice Bobby secretly filming him, the toy was still driving him crazy and he bit his lip again to try and suppress his moans even as his knees felt weak and his cock was eager for release. Mark continued to remove his pants, his hands unbuttoning the top and slowly lowering the zipper…he hesitated for a brief moment before he let them fall and pool around his legs, exposing his jockstrap, and Bobby had to cover his mouth as he finally saw Mark’s exposed cock and balls, not to mention his delicious looking bubble butt…

Mark pulled down his underwear too, slowly pulling his feet out from between them which officially left him half-naked…he wanted so badly to cum but he had to obey his husband…didn’t he? 

Maybe he could just stroke himself a little, relieve some of the pressure, no harm in that, right? God the toy felt so good inside him, he NEEDED this. He positively whimpered and moaned as he slowly wrapped a hand around his thick, pulsing shaft and started to slowly stroke himself. Bobby watched intently, his phone recording everything and his dick was fully hard in his pants as he watched his best friend jerk off.

Suddenly, Bobby looked down at Mark’s discarded clothes, and a wicked idea popped into his head, and he smirked as he reached underneath the stall and grabbed Mark’s ripped pants, jockstrap, even his shoes and socks. Mark didn’t seem to notice, his eyes were closed as he became lost in the pleasure, he was already getting close, he needed to stop.

But he couldn’t, it felt too good, he needed to cum, and he needed to cum now, all thoughts of Adrian’s command were muffled between his desperate need for release and his sheer state of arousal from tonight's events. Luckily for Mark, Bobby decided the time was now as he stopped recording and loudly cleared his throat as he leaned against the bathroom stall door.

“Wow, sounds like a real party in there” Bobby said, smirking to himself as he had hidden Mark’s clothes in the bathroom supply closet.

Mark quickly snapped out of his jerk-off session and covered his crotch with his hands. “B-bobby? What are you doing in here...wait…where are my clothes?!” Bobby said, his voice both full of fear and anger as he knew Bobby had taken them, he felt so embarrassed at how he had failed to notice any of it.

“Oh, don’t worry about them, I hid them somewhere safe, I just thought that considering everything that happened…maybe you’d like to celebrate today by going out in your birthday suit” Bobby said.

“What?! No way Bobby, come on, stop kidding around and just give me my clothes back…please?” Mark said.

“Hmmm, no, I think I prefer you this way, I’m sure Adrian would agree that that thick butt of yours is too magnificent to keep confined in those poor, tight dress pants. I also think you’d enjoy going home fully nude, so you better strip off the shirt and tie soon, before the cleaning guys show up” Bobby said, tauntingly.

Mark was dumbfounded at this turn of events, he could either refuse and he’d be stuck here with a butt plug still going off in his ass, or he could strip fully naked and get out of here now…what kind of choice was that??? Mark thought to himself, but his hands seemed to have a will of their own, as after a moment's hesitation they reached up towards his tie, loosening the knot and unbuttoning the top buttons of his long sleeve dress shirt. Deep down he knew he had no choice…he had to get out of here, he had to get home.

Mark did his best to resist how good the plug felt inside him, and how badly he still wanted to cum, he focused singularly on giving Bobby what he wanted, and he handed over his tie as he began to strip off his shirt, exposing his furry, muscled chest and he refused to meet Bobby’s eyes as he handed over his last item of clothing, leaving him fully naked. His face bled a deep, beet red as Bobby opened the door and whistled as he gazed at his friend butt naked.

“Better get going, and don’t worry, everyone else has left” Bobby said, standing off to the side to let Mark leave.

Mark practically bolted out, his phone and wallet in hand, yet as he sped by, Bobby was quick enough to quickly grab a chunk of his right ass cheek and squeeze, which made Mark yelp but also whimpered a little as his dick twitched at the contact. 

“Have a nice drive home, birthday boy” Bobby said, winking at Mark resumed his exit from the bathroom.

Bobby was true to his word, everyone else left, yet Mark still covered his crotch as he sped out of the office towards the parking lot, and sighed in relief as he checked that he also still had his keys. He stood out in the cold, open night air fully in the nude, and he couldn’t deny how good it felt to be running around completely naked. As for the plug, it seemed Adrian had had his fun, as it either died or turned off as soon as Mark hopped into his car.

Adrian was waiting on the couch when Mark finally returned home, he heard the jangle of his husband's keys and he smiled as he turned his head to welcome his husband home, and was greeted with the sight of his husband without any clothes on.

“Whoa! I told you to take off your pants, not all your clothes…what happened to you?” Adrian said, intrigued, amused, and even a little turned on.

Mark took a deep breath as he moved to join his husband on the couch, the plug still inside his hole, and as he wrapped an arm around Adrian’s shoulder he finally exhaled and said: “It’s a long story.”

The End.

[peterman-spideyparker]

The Great War (Babe Part 2) (Matt Murdock x fem!Reader)

Author’s Note: Hey everyone! At the risk of forgetting to post part two, I'm doing it now! Like I mentioned in the first post, it's only a part two if you want it to be--you can just have read Babe and leave it at that, but this is just more idea to go with it that I couldn't stop my brain from working on. Enjoy! :)

Summary: It's been almost a month since you left Matt. Everything hurts, and you're doing what you can to get through. Foggy calls, and it turns out Matt's not doing much better. For the first time, you have no idea what your future with Matt Murdock looks like.

Listening rec: The Great War by Taylor Swift

Warnings: ANGST, Matt and reader are separated (Matt cheated), they’re both heartbroken at the situation, swearing, fighting/shouting/anger, throwing, Matt grabs reader (NO VIOLENCE, but the Devil of Hell's Kitchen pokes out), depression (mention of the word "borderline suicidal" in reference to season three Matt), Matt being reckless, lots of crying, drinking

Other Characters: Foggy Nelson

Word Count: 2,820

Before you can even say a feeble hello, Foggy is already speaking. “Matt’s devastated,” he breathes. 

You’re hurt. Offended, even. You left because of what he did in California, and he has the audacity to feel sorry for himself? “And I’m not?” you say, probably with more venom than appropriate. “Goodbye, Foggy.”

“Wait, hold on!” You don’t know why you don’t hang up, but you stay on the line. “I’m sorry. That wasn’t the right way to start this. How have you been?”

“I’m awful, Foggy. My marriage is done, my heart hurts, I’ve lost the man I love . . . I’ve never been worse.”

“(Y/N) . . . I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault, Fog. All this is between me and Matt. It’s why you called, I’m guessing? Get all the answers for what exactly happened between us?”

“That’s between you guys. It’s none of my business or anyone’s. I’ve already ripped Matt a new one for doing what he did, and so did Karen and Frank, but he’s . . .” He stops and lets out a sigh. “Do you remember hearing from Maggie what Matt was like after Midland Circle? Despondent, depressed, borderline suicidal?”

Of course you remember, how could you ever forget? You’ve never seen him like that in your life. But the term “borderline suicidal” makes a pit grow in your stomach as you straighten up.

“He hasn’t tried to—?” you start to ask. 

“No, no, that was shitty wording on my part. But Matt’s not himself. It’s like watching a hollow corpse with a temper move about. He either doesn’t care at all, or a little thing will set him off. He’s being reckless on patrol, he’s drinking more than he usually does. I’ve been covering for him at the office, but . . . You need to talk to him.”

You close your eyes, tears rolling down your cheek. “I can’t, Foggy.”

“(Y/N)—.”

“He broke my heart, and I broke his in return. I stomped on it. I love him and I hurt him. If I talked to him . . . That’s salt on the wound for both of us.” More tears stream down your face as you think about it. “We both vowed not to hurt one another. H-He hurt me, but he wanted to fix it. I hurt him and don’t have that same courage to try.”

“Try now,” Foggy pleads. “Try now, help one another. Even if it’s for the last time.”

“O-Okay,” you say before you can realize it.

Foggy breathes a sign of relief. “Come to the loft.”

The loft. The scene of the crime.

You breathe a quiet confirmation before you hang up, taking time to mentally prepare yourself before you grab your purse and leave your sister’s place to talk Matt off whatever ledge he’s currently perched on. 

It’s a short trip, and Foggy meets you in the lobby of Matt’s building. He pulls you in for a long hug, and you actively tell yourself not to cry. 

“He’s that bad, huh?” you sniffle.

“Yeah,” Foggy sighs. “I’ve never been for him like this before. It’s like he’s not the same person.”

“I know what you mean,” you say quietly. “I haven’t felt like myself since that day.”

Foggy looks at you with a crestfallen expression, and you give him one more hug before you make your way up to the loft. 

Your key still works—you’re afraid if you knock, he won’t let you in. Hell, he probably heard you turn the block on your way here and wouldn’t answer out of anger or annoyance. Your stomach churns when you see Matt sitting in the chair. He’s in sweats, his posture is curved, his hair is disheveled, and he’s growing a thick beard. Beer bottles are on the table in front of him mixed with trash.

“Matt?” you breathe, but he remains unmoved. As you move closer toward him, he sits there like a statue, not caring to look your way. “Matt, it’s me.” Still, he doesn’t gaze your way. 

Putting your purse in its usual spot, you make your way over to him in the chair, gently cupping his face in your hands to tilt him up toward you. You suck in a small breath when you see the bruises and cuts on his cheeks, nose, and chin. If this is what his face looks like, you can only imagine the other injuries that his clothes are hiding.

“Matt,” you breathe. “What happened?”

He just closes his eyes in shame, starting to turn. You don’t let him, though, bringing his face back to center.

“Matty,” you plea. “Matt, talk to me, sweetheart.”

“You’re not my sweetheart anymore,” he finally says, and it burns like acid. You deserve it—you gave it just as good to him when he came back from California. “And I’m not yours.”

“We didn’t sign any papers yet,” you breathe, trying to lighten the mood as you hold back your own tears. “So, legally, I am.”

Matt peels back from my touch like he’s getting out of an itchy sweater. Okay, you deserve it. You deserve all of it.

“Matt—.”

“You left,” he spits. “You left just like everyone else, even when you swore you wouldn’t.”

You sit back on your heels. It hurts, but it’s the truth. “I did.” He turns back toward you like he’s shocked you actually admitted it. “I didn’t try to hear you out, and I’m sorry. I should’ve. It was . . .”

He turns toward you, ice in his blind gaze. You’ve never seen Matt like, this, and as he starts to slowly rise from his chair, it’s the first time you can say that you’ve ever been afraid of him. 

You spring to your feet as well, trying to at least keep things on the same level posture wise. 

“Now you’re trying to make things better?” he growls low. “You’re the one that tore it up in front of us. I wanted to stop the breakage, but you readied the wrecking ball. This shit is your mess. It’s like this because of you.”

Now you start to get mad. “Oh, just me? Any breakage that was the breakage that you started. Those images and videos were circulating for two whole days before you came home. I didn’t hear a single word from you—a ‘good morning’ or ‘I’m boarding my plane’ or otherwise. You just showed up here expecting it to all be fine—.”

“You don’t get to assume in this,” he grits, the space between you dangerously nonexistent as one of his hands tightly grab on to your wrist.

“Yes, I can. There’s two people in this mess. I’m saying what it seemed like on my end,” you say, your heart thundering in your chest. Matt wouldn’t hurt you—he’d never do that. But with how his hand is on your arm and the mood he seems to have been in since you left, you’re not entirely confident in that statement anymore.

“You never really knew a damn thing about me, did you?” he frowns. “You just kept a version of Matt Murdock in your head and lived with it this entire time, huh?”

“Maybe I did. Because this isn’t the Matt Murdock I came over to talk to. This is the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen. So, if you’re gonna let the Devil out, let him out on me, Murdock. Do your worst.”

“Get the fuck out of here,” he threatens, the muscle in his jaw feathering as he clenches his teeth. 

“No. I came here to talk, and that’s what we’re gonna—.”

Before you know it, his hand is off your wrist, wrapping around the neck of a beer bottle before he whizzes it past your head like a threat. You flinch, moving to cover your head before the bottle leaves his hand, and you remain curled as the glass hits something behind you, knocking it over as they both crash to the ground. You slowly turn to see what was caught in the crosshairs—the beer bottle had hit a picture frame, knocking it down off the side table and breaking it. You can tell by the shifts in his body language he immediately regrets it, his shoulders slumping as tears start to sting your eyes. You notice he starts to take a step toward you out of the corner of your eye, but you’re on the move toward the broken picture frame. One of the pictures from our wedding.

Huh, you think. How fitting. 

You lower yourself to your knees, carefully picking it up and looking at how your faces were beaming with nothing but joy, how you held onto one another with love . . . and now how it’s the opposite. How you’re broken. You wouldn’t look at him the day you left, and he won’t look at you know. You curl over the photo, freely weeping on the pile of glass. You just want it things to go back to normal.

You hear Matt pad softly over to you, squatting as if he wants to put a hand on your back to soothe you, but he backs away to let you cry. Tears pour out of you like a geyser, a constant flow down your cheeks as you sit alone in the living room. Maybe it was an accident that he hit the picture, but his senses are so sharp . . . maybe he did want to hit it. Maybe he was trying to prove a point. Maybe he wanted to show you that by you leaving, you were the one who put the final nail in the coffin of your marriage.

Maybe he really doesn’t want you anymore. Maybe he stopped wanting you before he went to Los Angeles. Maybe he stopped wanting you a long time ago.

You’re still crying when you hear Matt come back over toward you. Through your limited vision, you watch him clean up the broken glass from the bottle and the frame. It takes him a few trips, but it’s eventually all cleaned up. He leaves again before walking back toward you, holding out a box of tissues. With a shaking hand, you grab one and wipe at your nose, desperately trying to calm yourself. 

“This is my favorite picture of us from our wedding,” you sniffle. “This is what I would grab if I could only take one thing from the loft in an emergency. This would be it. And now . . .”

You can’t finish your sentence, just weeping uncontrollably in your little ball on the floor over your two deepest treasures—this photo and your marriage. Shattered. 

“Angel . . .” Matt says so softly, so tenderly, you almost forget that your life has essentially imploded.

“This is all my fault,” you cry, spiraling, trying to trace it all back to you, your actions. The big explosive things all seem to have their root in something you can place back to yourself. Matt slept with someone else, but it goes back to something you did— you had a short attention span and a bit of a short fuse before he left because a bunch of shit at work that kept piling up, and you knew he was frustrated . . . how much he hates planes. You egged him on. You did nothing to help, and when he left to go to California, he found someone who understood him in a way you couldn’t. You need an answer for this, and that seems to be it.

“This is my favorite picture of us, and it’s all my fault,” you sniffle, repeating what you said earlier, your chest burning from the tears and hyperventilation. 

“It’s just a picture—,” he starts to say softly.

“It’s not just a picture,” you weep. “This, us, it’s all my fault. We’re broken because of me. This is all my fault.”

You hear Matt pad softly over to you, squatting down and taking the picture from your hands, putting it on the arm of a nearby chair before pulling you in for a hug. All you can do is sob against his shoulder as he holds onto you. 

“This isn’t because of you,” he tries to soothe, sounding like he’s about to cry as well. “It . . . It was my poor judgement, it was my shortcomings that did this. You’re in the flaming wreckage, and it’s not fair.”

“I just want things how they were,” you sniffle. “I want to come home. I want us to be okay.”

Matt’s silence is terrifying. “I don’t think I’ve ever felt rage like that. Darkness like that,” he says softly. You feel a tear fall from his cheek to the top of you head. “Shit, I grabbed you . . . Fuck, I’m so sorry. I-I would never—(Y/N), please—.”

“I . . . I,” you start. He’d never hurt you. For all his anger, for all his strength, Matt would never hurt you. But when you’re facing off with the man that patrols the streets? The man that brought down Wilson Fisk not once, but twice? You just didn't know. 

“I scared you.” Tears are flowing down his cheek. “I could hear your heart race . . . I knew you were scared and for a moment, and I didn’t care. It’s like I wanted you to be scared, and I liked it. I was glad you were scared of me.” He sounds disgusted with himself. “You really thought I was going to hit you.”

“I did. For a moment,” you admit. It catches in your throat, but there’s no use in lying if you’re trying to fix this. 

Is that what you came over to do? To fix this? 

He lets out a long breath, slumping to the floor. “What happened to us?”

“I . . . I don’t know,” you say. And it’s the truth. You don’t really know how you got to this point. Yes, you know why you walked out, but it’s like there were the small hairline fractures in glass—so fine that you couldn’t see them—and then a hammer came down on it and a million little pieces was left in its wake. But how he sounds . . . you know that tone. When it’s been a rough night on patrol, it coats his words like sap—he’s going into a dark headspace, and when he gets too far in, it’s hard to get him out, and you need to get him out. You move around to carefully sit next to Matt, putting a hand on his forearm. You can feel a thick bandage on his arm before you can process that he winces, so you move to slide your hand in his. 

“I know you’d never hurt me,” you breathe. “I know you’d never lay a hand on me like that.”

“But I did, though. If I added more pressure, I could’ve snapped your worst. It would have been easy for me to do.” You see him swallow the lump forming in his throat, his own self-hatred inflating at a dangerous rate. “I was full of rage. You were scared of me.”

“I’m scared of all of this,” you admit, your voice small. “What’s happening to us. How it’s effecting you and me. We’re . . . We’re not ourselves. I-I don’t recognize either of us. I don’t like it. I want things back how they were.”

“But they can’t go back.” He sounds broken, hollow—just how you feel. 

“Are . . . Are we too far gone?” you ask just above a whisper, terrified of the answer. 

“I don’t want us to be.”

You hang your head. “I haven’t been sleeping,” you admit. “It doesn’t feel right without you, your arms around me.”

He places a gently hand on your chin, lifting your face up and wiping tears off of your cheeks before pulling you in for a hug. It feels like warmth. Like love. “I can’t sleep in the bed. It smells like you, and with you gone . . . I just patrol all night.”

It’s like when you think your heart can’t break any more, it does. “I still feel so upset, but, I feel hollow more than anything. Like part of me is missing.”

“I’m sorry,” he breathes. “I’m so, so sorry.”

“I’m sorry, too. I-I’m so sorry.” He kisses the top of your head. “I should’ve listened, I shouldn’t have left like that, but I was just so upset. I couldn’t be around you without feeling like screaming or crying or both.”

“We . . . We can get through this. Can’t we?”

You think about it. Is this something you can do? You’ve been through worse— you’ve seen him near death more times than you would like, you’ve seen how the toll of Daredevil and the stress of being an attorney wear him down. Even the debate on how we should bring up our children should you choose to have them strained you both. But your happiness, your life together, it’s bigger than your low points. It has to be.

It has to be. 

Right?

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[peachesofteal]

idk if this has been mentioned before, but the au where johnny and simon break it off with darling right after she found out she was pregnant and didn’t tell them;; imagine she can’t handle the pressure of being a mother—a single mother who has no one, so maybe one day while simon and johnny are on leave, their doorbell rings. one of them opens it and there sits the baby in a carrier with a bag stuffed full of unused supplies, the little bab wailing and there’s no doubt this is one of their kids—it looks exactly like one of them.. a mini mixture of darling and one of them. but there’s no sign of darling anywhere; just the baby, couldn’t even be a year old yet.

maybe there’s a note—a short one if at all—maybe there isn’t. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Yes omg this is so good! 🩵🩵🩵

18+ / mature themes / disco baby au

“D’ya want the blinds open?” Simon grunts, rolling on his side. He nuzzles into Johnny’s side, pressing his face against the curve of his neck, counting the beat of his pulse, over and over.

“Too early.” He protests, stroking his fingers through Simon’s hair, across his shoulder blades, down his ribs. They’re both too warm but don’t dare separate, finally able to lay together after a too long op, one that picked up right after their previous. Which was picked up right after the one before that… and so on.

They’re not running. That’s what Johnny tells him. They’re not hiding. They’re just… occupying their minds. Keeping themselves focused on something, anything other than… you.

You, who had disappeared after the break up. You, who had ran with a broken heart, over a year ago.

They made the right decision, he tells himself. They did the right thing. It would have been too hard on you. Too difficult. How was it fair, to leave you here while they were gone for six, seven months, with no guarantee of them even coming back? How was it fair, to leave you unprotected, with a target on your back just because you were theirs?

It wasn’t. So they made the hard call. The necessary call.

Or so they thought.

It’s what they tell themselves, even when they spend all night talking about you. Even when they dream about you. Even when Simon closes his eyes, and all he can see is the devastation on your face when they left you.

Simon’s just falling into the that sweet in between sleep, the twilight doze that proves more than elusive when they’re working, when he hears it,

The knocking.

Johnny jerks in his arms, body readying in fight or flight, while Simon holds completely still. Listening. Waiting.

A second knock never comes.

They’re both already out of the bed, and Simon’s already got the handgun that he keeps under the side table in his hand as he keeps a hand on Johnny’s back by the time a few seconds pass.

He stands in front of the door, one hand on the handle, Johnny half around the corner.

“Open it.” He whispers behind him, and Simon pulls the door free, half raising the gun, expecting something on the other side. Something or someone intending to harm them, harm Johnny. Take him away.

The door opens to an empty hall, and Johnny frowns eyes darting over Simon’s shoulder, trying to see.

Who knocked? Who-

His breath stops in his chest when he sees what’s at his feet.

A baby?

“Who’s… is that?” Johnny starts, then stops, staring down at the little infant who blinks at them, mouth half open. There’s a bag next to the carrier, and a piece of paper on the baby’s lap.

A note?

Johnny reaches for it instantly, Simon keeping a grasp on his forearm until he reluctantly lets go. It could be a trap, it could be a bomb, it could be a ploy, a bio weapon, a-

“Si.” Johnny holds the thin paper between trembling fingers. He looks stunned, confused, and passes it to Simon wordlessly.

“Hey,

I can’t do this. I tried. I’m sorry.

Her name is Bee. She’s perfect. Take care of her.”

-Darling.

[sminiac]

Sohee’s hands are so pretty it’s incredibly devastating.

He would be so sweet to you whilst teaching him how to use his fingers, where to touch, how to, so compliant with your instruction, the length of the process overflowing with constant timid giggles to mitigate the tension in his own inhibitions, fearing that he might not be able to succeed in making you feel good- but even that sounds insignificant compared to what he really wants.

He wants more than to have you moaning from only the effort of his dick or his mouth, he sees how often you’re focused on the way his fingers move, whether they’re resting or he’s merely scratching at an itch on his face, your eyes are always following them, like a cat with string.

“Show me,” he’d simply suggest one day, cutting through the silence of the room so abruptly that you almost jump. Blinking cluelessly at him with a confused smile you ask, “Show you what ‘Hee?”

His tongue pokes out to run against his top lip, readjusting himself to be seated with his legs crossed over at his ankles, knees pressed into yours, “How you want me to use my hands with you. Properly.”

And you do, come to find out he’s quite the learner as he succeeds in making you reach your peak by the lone effort of his fingers, and he couldn’t be more ecstatic to find out that not everyone has the same capabilities as him. Teaching Sohee would be a benefit for his sake, added his egos too, but would come to be… unavoidable on your part, as now every chance he sees even the slightest opening in he goes for it, his hand separating your knees apart with an unexpected force when he comes back home from a rather long tedious schedule and just wants to play with your pussy, make you cum, hear the way you whine and squeak out short praises directly into his ear as he watches the way his fingers work under the thin fabric of your bottoms.

It’s something about not being able to see what he does, but seeing the affect he has on you by the expressions of your face.

Loves when your hand comes up to massage gently at his scalp, already aware of the stress that’s thick in his disposition without so much as a word, just silently allowing him to touch you, your movement on his head stilling once he’s pulled you into a mindless blanket of pleasure as two of his fingers slip into your cunt and start pumping without missing a beat, your fingers tightening, locking around the soft clumps of his hair, pulling him closer into you by your hold to press tender kisses to his cheek :(

“I love you”s shared as he brings you to your peak, and lots of eye contact, the type to make you smile by smiling at you because he just loves you so much.

With this new habit of his he’d certainly enjoy seeing how far he could take it without getting caught. You’re out to eat at a fancy restaurant with him and his members? His fingers are agile enough to slip under your skirt unnoticed, just missing the warm feeling of you wrapped around him, leaving his fingers stuffed inside of you as he talks so casually to the boys seated so closely to the two of you at the table. You wanted to go see that new movie at the cinema? He’s throwing his jacket over your legs and moving himself to your seat as close as possible so he can move your panties to the side underneath it without being suspicious, pretending to just cuddle as his ring finger and index keep you spread for him so his middle finger can play with you clit.

Also has a problem cuddling, because at any moment he’s pushing you onto your back or pulling your leg to rest over his just so he can get his fingers on you. One of his favorite things to do is when the both of you watch as he lazily fingers you, switching from fucking them into you to swiping at the small bunch of nerves, purposely making as much noise with his hands as possible just to see the way you shy away from him.

[vaxieth]

because something really did ask, have a much too long post about my thoughts on laudna’s individual dynamics with the rest of bells hells.

under the cut because it’s almost 3000 words.

laudna/imogen

i struggle to find something to say about imogen and laudna that hasn’t already been said a million times before. the core concept—the thesis—of their arcs, together and separately, is choice. so much of their backstories are defined by helplessness. laudna was chosen and killed because she happened to look like someone else, she was resurrected because she happened to be there. imogen’s mother left, she was burdened with powers she didn’t understand and meant constant pain and isolation. so, they make sure to constantly emphasize that the other person has a choice in everything. imogen tells laudna she only has to come back if she wants to, even though it would have devastated her to lose laudna forever. laudna tells imogen that the gods can’t control her, that no matter what her “destiny” is, if she wants, they can leave and live in a little cottage and raise horses together. the way they love each other unconditionally is all the more incredible given how cruel the world was to them for so long. laudna’s “you make me better” is true for both of them. they give each other a place to be vulnerable and feel all their messiest, worst feelings because they know the other one won’t judge them. they’ll support each other no matter the choices they make.

something i’ve mentioned quite a few times but never gone in depth about is that imogen and laudna do have a fairly significant age difference, and i do think that affects their dynamic. on the one hand, they both have a bit of arrested development—imogen due to her isolation from the rest of gelvaan from 18-26, laudna because she died at 20. on the other, laudna has so much more life experience than imogen. she spent almost 30 years traveling and interacting with the world even if was mostly people trying to kill her, maybe even because of that. the “laudna is imogen’s aunt/mother/older sister” takes were obviously ridiculous, but laudna does canonically look at imogen and see someone young who she wants to protect in a way she never was. she said as much to fcg after the gnarlrock fight. laudna acts as imogen’s rock, her tether if you will, a lot of the time, and part of the reason she can counterbalance imogen’s anxiety is because of the experience that comes with age. for example, during their conversation in episode 49, laudna is able to stay more “rational” and level-headed even when imogen is scared and overwhelmed. 

one of my other favorite things about them, specifically from laudna’s point of view, is that with a few exceptions (the gnarlrock fight, her jealousy of frida), she doesn’t seem insecure about their relationship. again, during episode 49, laudna mentions that she knows they haven’t talked in a while, but she didn’t worry because they “transcend words.” she didn’t need outside assurance from imogen because she felt confident in their love for each other. something i love about that episode 39-49 period is that they didn’t interact a lot, but when they did, they slipped right about in the same kind of intimacy they’d always had—imogen holding launda’s hand when they went into her dream together, laudna’s protectiveness of imogen after she interacted with ludinus. but anyway—that confidence is why i believe the transition from friends to lovers was so easy for laudna. laudna’s unsure of herself, of delilah and what she might do, but she’s absolutely not unsure of the love between her and imogen. that’s why as soon as imogen tells her she’s not a bad person, that she wants to be with laudna in that way, she lets herself embrace it entirely.

in conclusion: they invented romance, they’re the best canon pairing critical role has ever had and one of the best dynamics in general, etc., etc.

laudna/orym

oh my god, WHERE to begin? i feel like my take on their dynamic is slightly controversial. at the very least, i get more push back from people when i post about it than anything else, so let me start with this: orym cares deeply about laudna, i will never dispute that. however, orym is uncomfortable with laudna and has been since the very beginning of the campaign. she’s his friend and he recognizes her beautiful heart and resilient spirit, but he’s uncomfortable with her appearance and her messages in his head, with her macabre humor and her deadness. he can’t reconcile that laudna his friend and laudna the dead woman can’t be separated. laudna’s deadness is a part of her, one laudna embraces. orym, for better or worse, is “normal.” he grew up with a loving family and he had a husband and a career. will and derrig’s deaths were an unbelievable tragedy but one that never challenged his place within the status quo. (sidenote: i’ve always wondered if part of orym’s discomfort with laudna come from the fact that her proximity to death is a reminder of the resurrections will and derrig never got.) he sees himself as a follower, someone that doesn’t stand out, then there’s laudna, who does nothing but stand out. 

something i find fascinating is that orym is the first person to find out laudna’s backstory, and it affects him so much he can’t sleep that night and takes a point of exhaustion. he even explicitly recognizes the dehumanization she’s gone through and how laudna’s relationship with puppets like pate and sashimi mirror that. yet, he still never apologizes for trying to disguise her appearance, something without even asking. yes, i get it’s tactical and for “safety” (though that argument falls a bit flat for me when there’s also a glowing rock person and a fully conscious automaton in the group, but whatever), but it still hurts laudna. even beyond that, orym always qualifies his friendship with laudna to other person, making some mention of how she’s dead-looking and isn’t that crazy, wow, almost as if he wants some validation that it��laudna—is weird (one he, interestingly, rarely ever gets, given how enraptured most of the other pcs, including guests, and even some npcs, are with her). he does this even in situations he absolutely doesn’t need to like, for example, when maeve says laudna “looks cooler than i thought.” all this just sucks. it’s not that the love isn’t there, it is. it just isn’t unconditional, and laudna deserves better than that.

finally: the delilah in the room. no, it isn’t orym’s “fault” delilah is back. yes, he was also having an extremely bad time during the bor’dor fight and it wasn’t his “responsibility” to save laudna from herself, but laudna is orym’s friend. he listened to laudna tell him the trauma delilah put her through, he fought through hell to save laudna from her, and still nodded because part of him thought maybe delilah could help him and that was selfish. the fight against ludinus is important to of the bells, but for orym, it’s personal. it’s been his mission for six years. meanwhile, laudna is the one with the least enthusiasm about this. she has no connection to the gods. in fact, she actively thinks they dislike her, but he’s willing to sacrifice not just his safety, but the safety of her and all his friends for a cause they never set out to fight for.

in conclusion: i want to put them in a salad mixer together and watch them go around and around and around and around and around, then let them out to scream at each other a little.

laudna/ashton

if i had to explain laudna and ashton’s dynamic in one word, it would be “projection.” i adore their relationship, it’s one of my top 5 c3 dynamics, but oh my god, so much projection, and it’s so interesting because of that. ashton thinks he understands laudna, but in reality, he doesn’t at all. i’m an absolute sucker for characters that look very different on the surface but in reality are much more similar than they know, and ashton and laudna are that to a tee. they are very much narrative parallels especially regarding their feelings of “brokenness” and how their traumas are physical, visual parts of themselves, but the ways they diverge are almost more interesting.

certain people have said that her conversations with ashton are the only time laudna is “honest” or that, at the very least, she’s more honest with him than she is with anyone else, and i couldn’t disagree more. laudna can be a joyful, optimistic person and deeply traumatized with a core anger she hasn’t truly processed. laudna is a high-charisma character, and in my opinion, part of how that manifests is her ability to adapt her demeanor to the person she’s talking to. she speaks gently to imogen the same way she matches chetney’s hyperactive energy when they go sky-sailing. of course when she’s with ashton, who makes no effort to hide his anger and bitterness and doesn’t want her to be soft, she isn’t. none of these laudnas are more “real” than the others, they’re all laudna. what those people, and ironically, ashton themself, don’t get, or won’t let himself get, is that all those things can be true at once.

with ashton specifically, i don’t think they want to believe that because then they’d have to admit that growth and healing is a real possibility because anger is so much easier to deal with. people talk most about orym’s choices during the bor’dor fight most, but i’m fascinated by ashton’s as well. i wouldn’t be surprised if there was a part, no matter how small, that wanted laudna to break, to prove to himself that he was right and laudna was just as broken and fucked-up as them. so, laudna killing bor’dor was almost vindication, evidenced by their “what have i done?” “nothing i haven’t done.” exchange afterwards.

i don’t want this to sound like ashton doesn’t care about launda, they do. ashton cares about her so much, and besides imogen and fearne, is the most unabashedly into laudna’s aesthetic. i love how much they love all the weird shit she does. i love how protective ashton is of laudna, especially during battles and their willingness to go above and beyond for her—he carried laudna when she was dead despite his chronic pain without complaining once and were willing to make a deal with hexum after going through an entire museum heist to repay their debt. i love the moments when ashton sees how much laudna is struggling and tells her, as gently as he can, to take a moment and do what she can to ground herself. i love that when laudna way too dramatically assumes they kidnapped imogen, their response is “that’s very fair.” it’s all wonderful, and i love them.

in conclusion: I LOVE THEM SO MUCH AND I WANT TO LOCK THEM IN A ROOM AND FORCE THEM TO TALK ABOUT THEIR FEELINGS FOR HOURS.

laudna/fcg

laudna and fcg have been getting more attention in the past few days for obvious reasons and that has me rubbing my hands together maniacally because even though they have very little actual interaction, the subtext is delicious. 

besides ashton, fcg might be the character laudna parallels the most, especially their struggle with their humanity (if they’re even human at all), which isn’t helped by the constant dehumanization they face from outsiders, including the almost continuous comments they get when they meet someone new. people look at launda and see a horror while they look at fcg and see a novelty (he’s a robot with personality??), and those both suck. i think, for fcg, laudna is an uncomfortable reflection of himself because everything they’re afraid is true about themself is true about laudna. finding out they had a soul was such an important moment for his character (also remember his early campaign habit of calling other people “soul-touched folks”). as a hollow one, who knows if laudna even has a soul. if i’m honest, fcg seems to think less of laudna than the rest of the party (see: him calling her a “former person,” his speech before casting turn undead including, “no offense to laudna but can you please shine your light and wipe these evil, dead souls off the face of this flat planet?”) and that’s probably why. they have such strict ideas about “good,” which has become “godly,” and “wrong,” (“ungodly”), and within that framework, everything seemed to point to laudna as “ungodly,” which is why their empathy towards her is lacking. 

the biggest conflict between fcg and laudna right now is obviously their feelings on the gods. the changebringer brought fcg purpose and tangibly helps them on a daily basis. of course they want to share this incredible thing with everyone they meet, especially his friends. yet, time-and-time again, the world has shown laudna the gods don’t seem to care about her. before someone says anything, pike resurrecting laudna doesn’t automatically mean she has to trust the gods. clerics and paladins spent 30 years running her out of towns for existing and trying to kill her in the name of their gods. if the circumstances were different, there’s a good chance fcg could have been one of those people. for fcg, the world is black-and-white. for laudna, it’s all gray. laudna was able to have a conversation with imogen about the ruby vanguard’s message and the purpose of the gods because she understands the need to question things and thinks that’s a good thing even if she doesn’t agree with the conclusions. fcg’s not there yet, and until he is, their friendship with laudna will never be able to progress past where it is now.

in conclusion: please have a conversation, maybe even two or three. it’d be so good for fcg to learn the world’s incredible nuances and for laudna to see how faith in the gods can be an empowering force for good, not just something beyond her grasp.

laudna/fearne

out of all launda’s dynamics, this is the one i desperately want more of. we’ve gotten so little! almost all their moments are interactions between the three witches that tend to center imogen (making the red-string friendship bracelets and comforting imogen after she talked with relvin come to mind) OR center imogen and fearne’s mutual appreciation for laudna’s… everything. one of my favorite about fearne is that, like imogen, she doesn’t think laudna is gross and creepy, she thinks laudna is gorgeous and charming without any caveats. even ashton, who also loves laudna’s laudnaness, tends more towards “yeah, you’re disgusting and THAT’S why it’s great.”

the other main part of their dynamic i want to sink my teeth into is the coin-toss, more specifically fearne’s guilt over the coin toss. regardless of whether you think fearne lied (i personally find that headcanon FASCINATING but to each their own), she clearly feels so many emotions about having to pick whether to save laudna and orym that she hasn’t even begun to unpack. one of the few sole moments we’ve gotten of them was in episode 42 when laudna asked fearne to help teach her to cast fireball, and in it, fearne, unprompted, blurts out, “how’s it feel being alive again?” almost immediately. she also apologizes to laudna, says they’ll fight any piece of delilah that’s still in there, and tells her, “i missed you terribly for that moment in time.” even when laudna gives her the chance to make the conversation light-hearted, fearne stays so genuine, which is all the more-noteworthy because she’s usually so flippant and almost always keeps her real feelings close to her chest. 

some other examples of fearne’s guilt include: the 4sd where ashley said part of why she was so protective over imogen during their separation arc was that she couldn’t bear having to tell laudna anything happened to her and just this past episode when fearne’s protectiveness after laudna made her only cast first-level cure wounds on fcg after they cast turn undead.

in conclusion: PLEASE LET THEM INTERACT MORE. THERE’S SO MUCH JUICY POTENTIAL AND I WANT TO SEE IT EXPLORED.

laudna/chetney

i don’t have that much to say about them except that their dynamic is absolutely delightful. i love that we’ve gotten to see more of it in recent episodes, and i hope that continues. 

chetney exists at an interesting place between orym’s genuine discomfort and fearne and imogen’s complete enchantment with laudna’s undeadness. he is sometimes grossed out, but he also seems to accept it as a thing about laudna without too much judgment, or at least, that “judgment” is light-hearted in a way orym’s or even fcg’s isn’t.

i love that they’re the characters with the most life experience (even if laudna is technically the fourth oldest, fcg only has two years of memory and fearne is a 100+ but spent 99% of that time in one place) but also embrace being “childish” and silly together, like the entire sky-sail sequence! 

in conclusion: *gently holds* i just think they’re neat!

that’s all! if you read this whole thing, you get my eternal love and gratitude. thank you.

[dead-enby-detective]

I love the Dead Boy Detectives show so I decided to watch the Doom Patrol episode: Dead Patrol which includes their version of the DBD Agency because I was curious about the different portrayals.

(This is a long post, I’m sorry, I have a lot of thoughts 💭)

First- gotta say, it’s wild that Ruth Connell plays both versions of the Night Nurse (when I heard her voice in the Doom Patrol episode I was like !!!) when they are SO gosh darn different.

In DBD she still feels like a person. We, as the audience, know she’s in the wrong about the boys but we can also see her point of view. If the show continues I’m excited to see where they take her character.

In Doom Patrol… she’s just creepy AF! I mean she’s a horror movie monster whose face splits apart and turns people into zombies by throwing up on them like WTH? I’m good with not seeing her again, no matter how well Ruth plays her lol.

Anyways props to Ruth fr because dang, she’s got RANGE.

Speaking of the Night Nurse-

It’s interesting to see the different reactions the boys have in the Doom Patrol episode to her compared to in the show.

Firstly, in Doom Patrol they already know her versus in DBD we see them meet her for the first time.

In Doom Patrol they’re kind of chill about it, like this is an enemy they have to deal with now and again, nbd versus in DBD it’s a new threat they don’t know how to handle. It feels like there’s far more weight in DBD to their interaction, in my opinion.

But I think the understanding versus uncertainty of her also impacts their overall reactions to the threat of her.

Both Charles’ react to one) protect Edwin and two) get the Night Nurse to get the heck away from them.

While trying to get the Night Nurse away DP Charles hits her with a bat and DBD Charles with the lullaby machine and then DP Charles throws a grenade and DBD Charles kicks her into a giant fish’s mouth.

Now obviously: different actors, writers, universe, 8 episodes versus 1 but it’s interesting to note that the Doom Patrol boys are much less reactive to their own/each other’s violence.

DP Edwin doesn’t react much to DP Charles hitting the Night Nurse and then throwing an explosive at her, DBD Edwin however is devastated by DBD Charles’s intense reaction to the Night Nurse trying to take them away/separate them:

DP Edwin doesn’t really say anything about it just kind of tells her off and DBD Edwin tells Charles his reaction was extreme.

Then in the aftermath DP Charles just walks (runs) away from the situation, seemingly fine with the whole thing while DBD Charles breaks down after the whole affair

Like DBD Charles is wreck by the whole thing.

Again I’m fully aware that having eight episodes dedicated to these characters stories compared to about half of one dedicated to them allows for very different stories but I think it’s neat how different their reactions to violence, their violence are.

Throughout the DBD show the phrase “a good detective does what they must to solve the case” but really, they have instances where they could have used violence to solve or speed up their case work and they actively chose not to, because they truly don’t want to. Charles does, even before this, have moments of violence but it’s clear it’s something that hurts him and it’s not usually his first reaction. They tend to try to avoid being violent if they can.

Compared to the DP dead boys, it feels almost like a means to an end for them. It doesn’t feel like they of out of their way to be violent but also like they’re less likely to avoid it overall. And it doesn’t impact them the same way.

I just think it’s neat how vastly different two portrayals of the same characters can be especially with such core traits.

They’re the same characters, different fonts and it’s so fun to compare and contrast.

—————

I have more thoughts but this post is getting pretty long so I think I’ll make another post/posts about em later.

[sillystappen]

A story of a prince who failed to become king being used for Daniel rn on tiktok is feeding my brainworms so… MAXIEL STORY PITCH

In this kingdom every region has a prince. Of course a prince is not royalty, rather a candidate trained to be. Then those princes have to prove they are worthy of becoming king through trials. These trials have 5 stages, starting with intelligence, then resourcefulness, then empathy, then physical, then a final test between the top 3 of which is always different every year. The only time there are two candidates from the same region are a King and another prince.

The winner of the trials is pronounced king and ruler until the trials recommence the following year. The current King, Seb, has been ruling for 4 years and Daniel is his protege. They come from the same region after all. In his first three years Daniel doesn’t progress very far in the trials, usually being outranked by more popular or more experienced candidates.

Then Seb announces he won’t be competing in the trials and steps down - making Daniel the sole representative. That year, he does a lot better than he thought, only getting knocked out pretty early on in stage 4. The new king is now Lewis and the extra prince is some guy called Nico. This repeats for the next year until the following one Nico and Lewis make the final two together and Daniel joins them as the third. He doesn’t know how the fuck he managed it but he’s thrilled and to see people in the stands wearing his colours of Navy just means the world.

He also sees his trainer and mentor Christian talking with a blonde haired boy behind the armoury but decides to think nothing of it.

Daniel ends up out of the final stage pretty quickly and watches and Lewis and Nico practically tear each other apart. Nico wins but only stays king for a year, realising this is not what he wanted at all.

During that year, Daniel finds out the blonde boy is Max and that they’re going to start training him so he can be the next prince when Daniel does become King. Max is a bit cold and twatish at first but slowly opens up to him and accepts Daniel’s help. They strike up a good friendship and work well together.

Then Lewis regains his crown and passes a rule that 2 princes from each region shall be able to participate. Which means Max can compete alongside him. Daniel is excited.

Daniel once again gets 3rd and Max skyrockets to 4th, missing out by only a fraction. It sucks but Daniel is so proud of him, emotions swirling in his chest.

They stick together a lot during interviews and training, even just hanging out together during breaks and it’s nice. Max is just so lovely and beautiful and Daniel wishes one of them was a woman so he could just kiss Max no problem. But alas.

Max however, doesn’t have those same reservations and kisses him where he has Daniel pinned down in a field after a sparring session. And gosh it feels amazing and perfect.

“We can’t tell anyone - we’d be banned, stripped of our titles, or worse.”

“I understand, Maxy, it can be our secret.”

Max is the sweetest thing to ever enter Daniel’s life. They do have a relationship, as unconventional as it may be, and it’s one of the best things ever. They agree to keep what happens in the trials separate, and try their hardest even if they have to face each other.

But of course, it happens. During the physical trial Max pulls a stupid double move on Daniel and ends up forcing Daniel’s blade into the both of them - putting them both out of contention and having really shitty but not deadly stab woulds in their thighs.

Max, of course, argues that Daniel is at fault because he “moved quickly into his space” which is a load of bullshit and Daniel lets him know that. They don’t talk to each other after that, not for Daniel’s lack for trying after a few days, or even train together. It’s effectively a break up as they couldn’t keep what happened away from their relationship. Daniel is devastated and so hurt that Max won’t talk to him… that he stops. He doesn’t tell anyone other than Christian and just quits.

In fact, Max isn’t sure if Daniel is training at all. Christian introduces this new guy Sergio to be the second prince and Max asks, finally, what happened to Daniel.

“He quit Max. Came up to me and said I’m done, find someone else to replace me.”

“Why?” Why did he quit. Why didn’t he tell me. Why did he disappear after the incident last year.

“Said he couldn’t do it anymore, and that he found something more important than being King but lost it. Doesn’t have the heart anymore.”

And Max doesn’t understand what that means. What could be more important than fighting to be king? It was their livelihood, the ultimate goal.

Max continues to compete and Sergio proves a decent second prince and really helps out when it’s them and Lewis in the top three. Max ends up winning and immediately gives Sergio a top position in his court as a thanks. He also offers Lewis a position saying that his insight would be incredibly valuable. Lewis actually agrees and the two of them form a rather unlikely friendship through mutual respect.

He doesn’t hear from Daniel. He thought he might, if he finally won, but he didn’t. It worries him because he doesn’t even know if Daniel is alive. He hopes he is but it’s been 3 years. He only allows himself to confront it when he’s alone at night, tracing the scar on his thigh from Daniel’s sword.

He keeps his crown for the next year. Sergio stays in his court and Lewis turns down his offer, saying that there’s something more important for him than this.

“The power, the wealth, it’s all great. But after a while Max, the novelty wears off and you’re left with what is truly important. That’s why we don’t have a long term ruler Max. Nobody good would want to be.”

“I don’t understand.”

“You wouldn’t. Not yet. Maybe soon though.”

“Can I still ask you things from time to time?”

“Sure Max. Come visit if you need me. We’d be happy to see you.”

Max doesn’t question who we is but he assumes it’s Lewis’ family. He has spoken of them often in the past year after all.

It’s during the third year of Max’s reign that it clicks. He sees Sergio with his wife and thinks about how he would give his crown to be like that with Daniel. And shit, Daniel. Oh how he loves Daniel. How he misses Daniel more than anything. But Daniel has gone, without a trace.

He thinks about changing the law so that men can be together and not shunned for it. Especially when two young boys from an old slightly run down region make their way to the castle and ask for his help because they have been exiled for their relationship. He gives them a room in the castle and makes sure they are treated well. He of course asks Sergio for his support on the matter who gives it easily and the next day it’s passed.

People had mixed opinions but the majority of the princes, even a couple old kings (Seb, Kimi, heck even Nico) showed support and this quieted the protesting crowd.

Max had hoped that Daniel would maybe show face but he didn’t. Max didn’t want a public call, god that would be far too embarrassing. ‘Hey remember that guy I trained and competed with 5 years ago, I am desperately in love with him and need to find him in the hopes that he feels the same.’ Yeah no that ain’t flying.

Instead he goes to Lewis. He travels alone and discreetly, leaving Sergio in charge of things in his absence. He find his house situated alongside a teal river and knocks. He is very surprised to see Nico Rosberg open the door.

“Uh hi I-“

“LEWIS, MAX IS HERE! Come in mate, make yourself comfortable.”

Max comes to learn over a very nice (vegan) dinner that Lewis and Nico are a thing but their trial fight nearly ruined them. Nico dropped out and retired because he didn’t want to be king when it meant he lost Lewis. Lewis took a little longer (and Max kicking his ass) to realise that too. Max is of course happy for them but…

“Why are you telling me this?”

“You and Daniel weren’t just friends, were you?”

And fuck that’s… Max grips the scar on his thigh through his clothes.

“…no.”

“Odds are Daniel didn’t want to end up hating you and couldn’t stand to let those trials tear you apart. Probably thought it was easier to just walk away.”

And Nico doesn’t sound speculative. He sounds certain. Lewis agrees.

“Especially if he didn’t see a way to repair anything at the time.”

Max can’t bring himself to say anything. He remembers Daniel’s attempts to talk to him but he shut him out - too angry to do anything.

“Help me find him, please.”

Nico and Lewis smile and tell him to go to the fields back home, the same one where they got together. When Max arrives there he notices that there’s a small house on the field, tucked into a patch of trees that was never there before.

He knocks on the door. It swings open and

“Max?”

“Daniel.”

"What are you- how did you-"

"I still love you. I'm so so sorry that it took me so long to finally find you. I would've done it sooner but you disappeared and I had to fight and be king and- nevermind. I love you so much and I haven't stopped thinking about you. And more than that, I am sorry about our fight and pushing you away. It's the biggest regret of my life."

"Max..." and Daniel kisses him and it feels just as magical as the first time, and even better than when he became king for the first time.

Daniel feels complete for the first time in his life. He knew he never needed to be king but he somehow has one in his hands. He relishes the feel of Max's skin and lips against his own and how Max babbles about how much he loves and missed him.

Daniel tells Max he forgave him long ago and where he has been in the meantime, visiting a couple different regions before coming back and building a house here in the hopes Max may find him.

Max traces Daniel's matching sword scar and asks "why didn't you find me if you wanted me too?"

"Was sure you'd moved on and didn't even want me around anymore. I definitely couldn't try to be king when I wanted you so much, it would've killed me to hurt you again. And, I didn't want our relationship to fall apart under the pressure of it all. I mean, it did, but not in a way you would never come back to me."

"I'd never not want you around. And I'm not letting you go again."

Max eventually has to return and Daniel comes with him. The people of the castle often see Daniel with Max's crown on his head, nestled among his curls. After all, Daniel may not be the ruling king but he's definitely the king of Max's heart.

[ereawrites]

can you pleease talk about Shisui falling in love with his childhood girl best friend? i think that’d be so cute!

OH WHAT THE FUCK this is so good

obviously they meet in the academy. they get along like a house on fire instantly but they are sooooo chatty. the teacher probably always tries to seat them on opposite sides of the room but they still talk so damn much. it’s okay though because they’re both at the top of the class

they start to train together outside of the academy as they get older bc they’re kind of sick of everyone else not being able to keep up lol. even once they get put into genin teams they just show up at each other’s training sessions

shisui is so smug when he finally hits his growth spurt and gets taller than her

they’re pretty inseparable while they’re kids. she’s always at the uchiha compound and he teaches her all the ways to sneak in when the guards won’t let her in. he’s always hanging out with her clan members, helping all the old ladies and younger kids out. the grandmas LOVE him

it’s probably when he goes into ANBU that things start to change. maybe she goes into ANBU too but they’re deliberately separated. all of a sudden they’re barely seeing each other, so every time they catch up they feel like they’ve missed so much. shisui really struggles with this tbh he misses her a lot

so when he comes back from a long mission and she tells him she went on a date with someone, he convinces himself his annoyance is just frustration that he doesn’t know her as well as he used to. but he’s a smart guy and every time he sees her she’s becoming more beautiful and after a few months he’s like. fuck.

he’s not one to hide his feelings once he realises he’s fallen for her, especially if she’s going on dates with/getting attention from other guys. it’s just too hard for him to ignore. he gets a lot more flirtatious, gives her lots of compliments, generally just turns on the charm. then he panics and doesn’t talk to her for like a week. he’s so scared of ruining what they have, but also so scared of losing her to another guy. and she’s like ummmm shisui what’s going on

she probably does confront him tbh. she has to be an upfront person if he’s going to fall for her. hopefully she’s kind about it and just asks why he’s been strange with her, and if everything’s alright. and he can’t take it anymore he just has to confess. he won’t beat around the bush, just comes straight out and tells her he’s developed feelings for her

…if she doesn’t return the feelings, he’s pretty devastated. he might try and avoid her for a while just to let his own feelings settle down. he’ll definitely come back to their friendship and things will be pretty much the same as before, but he’ll always have those feelings for her a little bit, and he’ll spend a long time wondering what could have been

but if she DOES like him!!!! so romantic so good!!!!pls just let her kiss him instead of talking. he takes a few seconds to react and then he just wraps his arms around her and kisses her back hard. doesn’t let her go for a loooong time

they won’t make it official straight away, but it’s pretty obvious they’re dating. he gets a lot more touchy with her in public, always draping an arm round her shoulders, retying her hitai-ate for her after training, that kind of thing. and everyone in the village just thinks finally

in an AU where shisui lives, he’ll probably propose to her while they’re pretty young, realistically as soon as they’re out of ANBU. he already knows her like the back of his hand, he knows he wants to spend his life with her, so why wait? and the wedding is SO cute. he cries at the altar

side note. itachi loves this girl. her and shisui probably prank itachi so much but he doesn’t mind. he probably cries at the wedding too. and sasuke thinks both the boys are so cringe ew.

[harrowedknight]

OC info and lore m’lord? Brave knight… please they’re both so handsome… I’d take Hancock in a knife fight for just one date fr…. Bleeding on the concrete outside kle0s shop rn….

Omg,,, thank u for the ask, I’ll take this as an opportunity to introduce all of my fellas since i have multiple saves/ocs for fallout 4. Right now they’re all in separate aus but I wanna connect them, I just haven’t decided who I want to be the sosu yet, if i even want one at all.

Starting with Ranger, my newest character. He’s the charismatic leader of the Minutemen. He likes making light of every situation, but he knows when to take things seriously. He just puts on a laidback attitude so he appears less intimidating. He’s trying very hard to make the commonwealth safer, but he has some doubts and insecurities about his position, which he bottles up and keeps to himself. He wants to be the person that everyone can rely on and look up to, even if that means putting his own problems aside to appear put-together and strong. He’s the one I draw Edward Deegan with, and I wanna do more with the two of them since I love me some eldritch horror vibes. I imagine Ranger and Edward go on relic hunts for Jack Cabot after their questline, getting into hijinks and fun spooky, horrifyingly traumatic adventures. Maybe kissing along the way. Who knows.

Knight on the other hand, is an anxious, paranoid little glorbo; and I say this while he stands at like 6’4”, he’s BIG, the tallest of all of my guys. He’s got severe PTSD and he really doesn’t like living in the apocalypse. He had a wife! They were in a queer platonic relationship; they got married for the benefits but they’re both gay. He’s devastated after losing her, since she was his best friend. He has a very hard time adjusting to the new commonwealth, he barely scrapes by, has to force himself to function because everything reminds him of war and suffering. He eventually stumbles into Goodneighbor, gets hooked on chems to distract himself from bad memories, meets Hancock one bad night and ends up getting drunk/rambling to the poor ghoul. They end up hitting it off despite the ridiculous introduction. Hancock manages to ground Knight, gives him a purpose again; helping good people, and hurting bad people. Knight travels the commonwealth doing odd jobs, trying to do what he can, even joins up with the Railroad to help out the Synths. Just trying to make up for all the time he’d lost, doing what he thinks would’ve made his best friend proud.

Now for Paladin. Yes, he is named Paladin, and yes, he WAS Paladin Paladin before being promoted to Sentinel. It’s probably obvious by now that I have a Dnd/medieval theme for my character’s names. Anyway, Paladin here is— of course— a part of the Brotherhood of Steel. I made him to be a big dickhead because I don’t play mean characters in video games enough. Unlike my other sosus he’s actually thriving in the apocalypse. Before being frozen he was very dissatisfied/disconnected with the ordinary life he was trying to live, he felt like a husk of himself and he couldn’t understand why. After waking up and being met with a destroyed world, his soldier mentality immediately kicked in again. He adapted fast, and when he learns about the Brotherhood and its US military-esc operations he quickly latches onto it. It’s familiar to him, and he excels at his duties. He rises through the ranks quickly, earning his place as Sentinel and developing a massive ego along the way. The Brotherhood makes him feel powerful, and that sort of becomes an addiction of sorts. He just wants more and more power, he wants to be respected; and if not respected, feared.

And as a bonus unrelated to fallout 4,

This is Monty, aka Montague. He’s a prewar ghoul living in the Canadian territories, or Little America as it’s referred to in the Fallout universe. He was a proud mountie back before Canada was annexed, kept his uniform in a locked safe for years. When the bombs fell and he was ghoulified, he pulled it out and dedicated himself to helping those who get lost in the nuclear winter. I’m still learning things about Fallout lore so idk how Canada is depicted after the bombs in canon, but the idea I had is that Monty lives in a massive, snowy wasteland which he’s learned to navigate with a lot of hard work and dedication. He earns caps by guiding people through the tundra, since few know how to avoid all the dangers it poses.

[purple-plum-petals]

Help my family. War is devastating. There is nothing left for life. No schools, no universities, no home, and no dreams. All dreams have been destroyed.

https://www.gofundme.com/f/dydb36-gaza -palestine

⊱ The Scars That Remain ⊰ || Boothill and Aventurine Angst Headcanons

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮        Character(s): Boothill and Aventurine (Separate, Honkai: Star Rail)        Warning(s): Spoilers for Boothill’s and Aventurine’s Backstories, Discussions of Survivor’s Guilt, Mentions of Suicide/Attempted Suicide/Suicidal Ideation, Implied Alcoholism, Religious Trauma, Overall Theme and Discussion of Death/Genocide.        Genre: Headcanons, Angst.        Word Count: ~1000 words        Author’s Note: I know that Boothill and Aventurine are fairly popular characters within the fandom, and one of the reasons why they’re so beloved is because of their backstories. Both of these characters are victims of war – victims of genocide and a massacre at the hands of the IPC on their respective home planets of Aeragan-Epharshel and Sigonia.

There is a genocide happening to Palestinians at this very moment, and thousands of people and families are being displaced and murdered simply because of the land in which they live. Please, if you are financially able, help this family. If you’re not able to contribute to their evacuation, spreading the word about this family may reach those who are able to donate. The family’s gofundme can be accessed here: https://www.gofundme.com/f/dydb36-gaza -palestine ╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

🌾: Sometimes Boothill wonders what his family would think of him now, wondering if his fathers and siblings would even recognize him after what he had become. He was no longer made of flesh and blood – he was no longer human. He tries not to dwell on the thought for too long. After all, there was no point in thinking about hypotheticals. He would never know what his loved ones would have thought because, if they were still here, he wouldn’t have taken the path that he did.

🌾: When Boothill hears the sound of children laughing and playing, or when he walks past small dresses decorated with beads and ribbons and lace, he can’t help but wonder if he would have been a good father if he had just been given a chance. He thinks about that little girl he had found and taken in as his fathers had with him on lonely nights. Nights when he absentmindedly strums the strings of a recently stolen guitar, remembering the one he had carved for her, the one she would slap with her small palm and giggle at the noise it made. Would she have grown up to play the guitar, or would she have picked up a different instrument? Those were more questions he would never get an answer to, and the memory of that high-pitched babbling laughter haunted him.

🌾: Boothill frequently wonders if his fathers knew how much he loved and appreciated them, the two men who had taken him in and raised him as if he were their own. He thinks about the times he could have done more for them, or his mind thinks about all the words he could have told them so they knew without a doubt how much they meant to him and how much he cared for them. Even though Boothill wasn’t the one who gave the order, sometimes he feels as though their blood is on his hands.

🌾: He suffers from immense guilt at the fact he was the only one from the farm who survived the bombing, wishing that he was either fast enough to have made it there in time to save them, or fast enough that he could have died there with them in his arms. He wishes he could have had the time to make graves for those he lost but, in the fiery blaze left in the attack’s wake, there wasn’t much he was able to do.

🌾: Once he enacts his revenge on Oswaldo Schneider, Boothill will most likely choose to end his own life, going back to his home planet and the farm that had been reduced to nothing but ash. He had already been dead for a long time, and he had a desire to reunite with the people he loved the most in the afterlife. So, he’d settle down on the ground that was once covered in tall, soft grass, and he’d think about the sound the babbling brook used to make as his systems finally shut down. For the first time in what seemed like an eternity, the rage in his heart subsidized as peace finally washed over him.  

🎲: It came easy to Aventurine, the ability to put his life on the line without any instance of hesitation. That was something he had done for a long time now, using his own life as another gambling chip on the table. It probably wasn’t normal for one to continuously try and end their own life in the dreamscape just to see if it would stay permanent, either, hoping that deep down they wouldn’t wake up in their room on Penacony. Here he was, though, sitting up in the dream pool as he tried to catch his breath after the latest little “test” to see if a true death truly didn’t exist in Penacony’s dreamscape.

🎲: Aventurine remembers vividly what it was like, floating in the cold water as his clothes stuck uncomfortably to his skin while he held his breath, trying not to move. He remembers the warmth of his sister’s hand in his, the water around them dyed a dark red as the scent of iron and rot filled the air. He couldn’t move because of the fear of being found, the fear of those hunting them like wild animals realizing they were indeed alive and not dead like the other bodies that floated around them in an eerie silence. He remembers the shrill cackles of the men who killed his mother that day, a sound that would never leave him.

🎲: He frequently suffers from nightmares, whether it be each and every event that has stained his hands in red, the death of his mother, or his older sister’s final goodbye to him on that rainy day. One dream Aventurine has quite frequently, however, is the “game” that lasted for two days – a game that resulted in him being the final victor while the bodies of the thirty-four others just like him lay lifeless around where he stood. He dreams of their screams, their hands reaching towards him as they shriek “Why? Why you?” He cannot answer them, though, for he doesn’t know why himself.

🎲: Sometimes, Aventurine’s neck burns and itches despite it being years since the mark was blistered into his flesh or since the cold, iron chains squeezed tightly around his throat. On nights when the feeling won’t go away, he drinks until the burning comes from the inside instead, an almost painful sting in his stomach and chest that makes him forget the way he can still recall how hot iron felt searing his skin.

🎲: Aventurine has mixed feelings regarding the “blessing” he was given by Gaiathra Triclops. He wonders why he was given this blessing, and what was the reason for being the only one of his people to survive – what was his purpose. Why was he made to suffer at the hands of a god that was supposed to love him? Why did she not save his family, his people, who all worshiped her until their dying breath? Aventurine feels immense guilt at the mere thought his faith no longer lies within the god of their clan and wonders what his family would think if he didn’t believe in the god who gave him his blessing of “luck.”

[cultpastorkevin]

Dependent Personality Disorder, Kevin Day, & the Edgar Allan Ravens

brought to you by an ex cult pastor w/ crippling mental issues

well let’s just jump right into it ngl (also if I miss anything or forget something give me a pass I have amnesia and a one track mind so I definitely missed stuff)

Okay so the whole Ravens always have a partner, never go anywhere alone, if one fails you both pay, etc. I’ve been thinking about this for weeks and I don’t see it broken down and discussed at length enough, so imma try to do that from a mixed personal experience & psychology perspective

The fact Jean, Neil and Kevin have all stated in books and in the extra content that not having that presence next to them was devastating (much less so for Neil okay he didn’t spend fucking years there); Nora has also talked about how Ravens are basically unable to function if left alone; you can’t send them to the store alone or leave them places or expect them to be capable of completing tasks without their other half; TSC reeks of Jean having to learn how to function without a double and it’s gonna be a trainwreck for Jeremy bc how the fuck can Jean be this old and not feel able to have a room on his own anyways—

What is Dependent Personality Disorder?

The DSM-5 refers to DPD as a pervasive and excessive need to be taken care of, which leads to submissive and clinging behavior and fears of separation. It is characterized by excessive fear and anxiety. DPD begins by early adulthood, is present in a variety of contexts, and is associated with inadequate functioning. Symptoms can include anything from extreme passivity, devastation, or helplessness when relationships end; avoidance of responsibilities; and severe submission.

According to the DSM-5, the disorder is indicated by at least five of the following factors:

has difficulty making everyday decisions without an excessive amount of advice and reassurance from others.

needs others to assume responsibility for most major areas of their life.

has difficulty expressing disagreement with others because of fear of loss of support or approval.

has difficulty initiating projects or doing things on their own (because of a lack of self-confidence in judgment or abilities rather than a lack of motivation or energy).

goes to excessive lengths to obtain nurturance and support from others, to the point of volunteering to do things that are unpleasant.

feels uncomfortable or helpless when alone because of exaggerated fears of being unable to care for themselves.

urgently seeks another relationship as a source of care and support when a close relationship ends.

is unrealistically preoccupied with fears of being left to take care of themselves.

Since I only need 5, and I don’t want to bore everyone to death, I’ll just do 5.

needs others to assume responsibility for most major areas of their life

Kevin spent well, basically his entire life having everything picked out for him by others. Exy was chosen for him. Where he lived, when he slept, what he ate and when was chosen. Riko and Tetsuji dictated his every fucking step up until he left. Kevin didn’t learn anything he wasn’t supposed to learn and therefore automatically expected others to do it for him because that’s what he was taught to do. Kevin’s only skill in life is Exy, which means he doesn’t have any other skills (well he does, he just doesn’t think they’re useful or important). Ravens are taught to be dependent on each other because without each other, they’re not whole or a person; they’re dehumanized until they begin to assign responsibility to someone they think is more equipped for it, is better for it, which is usually an authority figure (in this case, those figures are Riko and Tetsuji). Tetsuji knew exactly what he was doing by creating the psychological mindfuck of an inter-dependent group that is the Ravens. He took a bunch of young adults, gave them a god, and then helped that god beat them into numb dissociation until they couldn’t think for themselves and were even afraid to.

has difficulty expressing disagreement with others because of fear of loss of support or approval

Reminder that DPD is prevalent in people who have been excessively abused and it’s also characterized by extreme anxiety. For people like Kevin and the Ravens, expressing anything other than what Riko and Tetsuji wanted could get them killed; it wasn’t just about being terrified of disapproval or protection, it was because losing anything from the group meant you were gonna get hurt (usually badly). Jean was literally waterboarded for shits and giggles, you think Riko is gonna take someone saying no very well (Neil Josten drove him insane I can tell u that much)? Ravens have a hive mind mentality because a hive mind keeps them alive and safe. Kevin had a hive mind when he was with Riko, and I’d argue he still had the remnants of one when he was with the Foxes. Riko breaking his hand was the only thing that broke him out of it, and even then, it barely did. Kevin only started mouthing off to Riko when Neil (bless his scrungly ass) started shaking Riko’s brain like a maraca. He had someone he could depend on in those situations because, again, Ravens always do things together. Kevin wouldn’t fucking dream of shitting on Riko at Kathy’s show by himself. Kevin spent 10+ years at Evermore with his sanity hanging on the hook of a batshit adoptive brother whose approval or disapproval would dictate if he was allowed to sleep. So yeah, I’d say Kevin had a violent need to always express agreement and do everything Riko wanted whether he liked it or not because the anxiety and terror of not doing so outweighed any sense of self preservation he could have. That ties in w the next one.

goes to excessive lengths to obtain nurturance and support from others, to the point of volunteering to do things that are unpleasant

Riko utilized abuse in a lot of ways; Nora put in her extra content that he had other Ravens rape Jean; imo, those Ravens most likely didn’t fucking want to, but going to excessive lengths to stay within his approval and be safe? Yeah, they were gonna do it. Tetsuji and Riko also make the Ravens never miss practice or any other shit they want them to do, regardless of the state they’re in. Which means you’re going to practice when you’ve been raped the night before; it means you’re going to practice after getting butchered all night by your other half, etc. Anyways; when Kevin works with the Foxes, he repeatedly does the opposite and basically throws a fit if someone steps on court that isn’t in shape to. This begs the eye raiser that he didn’t want those things happening at Evermore, but he did them anyways because his need for approval and the anxiety of not doing so, outweighed the fact he hated doing it. He was so dependent on Riko and staying close that he was pretty willing to toss anyone and everyone under the bus to meet expectations even if they left a nauseating pit in his stomach. Doing unpleasant things for the person you’re attached to is hard, but their praise and approval after the actions erase all previous anxieties, which then fuels a broken cycle of seeking out that approval and continuing to engage in unpleasant actions out of fear of not recieving that pending approval afterwards. It’s hard to explain succinctly the mindfuck DPD causes your thoughts to be like when you have it.

urgently seeks another relationship as a source of care and support when a close relationship ends

Kevin lost Riko. You know what he gets next? Fucking Andrew. I don’t even know if I need to explain this one because Kevin’s dependency on Andrew is so prevalent and excruciatingly obvious throughout the whole series lmao. Kevin ain’t gonna admit it but he relies on Andrew like a starving man relies on garbage (no offense Andrew). Kevin’s duo dependency with Riko was shattered to its core and guess what idiot he latches onto to fill the void? Andrew ofc. I think out of everyone, Andrew is probably the healthiest until Neil comes along (still think it should’ve been a polycule but I digress).

Riko’s obsessiveness and possessiveness with Kevin was crippling to Kevin and left him without the ability to exist without a buffer. Andrew’s apathetic ass and explicit understanding of consent is needed to balance out Riko’s emotional instability and disregard for Kevin’s autonomy. I would go so far as to say it was dependency that forced Kevin to become more independent because Andrew wasn’t going to sit on his ass and wait for Kevin to figure it out or heal. Kevin only struggled into some form of functionality out of what I personally see as a crippling people pleasing need to be useful and that came from being dependent on those around him. He became semi functional (I use this so vaguely bc that man would not be functional in the real world) out of necessity and obligation to those around him, not because he actually healed or processed his shit.

Ignoring your own issues to meet expectations of the one(s) you’re dependent on is stereotypical avoidance and signs of people pleasing and also it’s a trauma response. Kevin quite literally just went “yeah well I have some problems but I’m going to push those aside bc nothing else matters besides Exy” and then proceeded for the entire series to use Exy, Neil, and Andrew as ways to try to avoid his trauma history. He’s kinda insane for that but also I get it, because placing your trauma lower than something else and then in turn obsessing over something or someone helps you compartmentalize and pseudo-function until you eventually snap and have a massive meltdown. Another thing is that when you’re living in an abusive environment you can’t afford those meltdowns. I like think that after all the shit happened in AFTG, Kevin just lost his shit for a period of time because it’s a very reasonable trauma response in victims for once you’re finally safe, you just shatter from all the pressure you’ve been avoiding in yourself. It’s only after you shatter that you can heal, and you can’t do that unless you’re in a space that you’re allowed to. And Tetsuji kept his Ravens in a headspace where they couldn’t.

feels uncomfortable or helpless when alone because of exaggerated fears of being unable to care for themselves

Ngl I’ve kinda already covered aspects of this but I just wanna reiterate what Nora said abt this specifically in her extra content that “Kevin is the one who warns Jeremy he (Jean) cannot go anywhere alone, “we Ravens don’t know how” and “Being able to go to class or the grocery store or the gym without any of his teammates in attendance is just—unfathomable” in regards to Jean Moreau’s transition into the Trojans. This is just kinda, explanatory. We’re talking about college age athletes who have been hazed and abused so much that the idea of going to a class alone isn’t even a concept to them; Kevin explicitly tells Jeremy that Ravens don’t know how to do things. They’re dependent on each other. Kevin is not only speaking to help Jean, but when he says “us Ravens” he’s including himself in that statement because he can’t either and he knows how hard it is to try to acclimate to suddenly being thrust into individuality when you haven’t had it in years. Unlike most of the Ravens, Kevin and Riko (and eventually Jean as well) grew up having that inter dependency made into a core personality trait. They hate each other and they love each other, their failures and wins depend on each other, one can’t breathe without the other suffering for it. At what point does trained and conditioned, and ultimately encouraged, dependent behavior turn into brainwashing and dehumanization until there’s nothing left of you but the one you’re dependent on?

Finally

I’m not saying Kevin Day or all of the Ravens have DPD; but what I am saying is that they have extreme traits at the least of it and it is entirely fucking reasonable to me that at least a few of them ended up with DPD or similar disorders because of the shit that happened to them in the Nest. People forget that trauma and adverse circumstances (especially from young ages like Kevin and Riko and Jean) can cause you to develop disorders or even mimic symptoms of disorders because those traumatic events caused reactions that are disordered behaviors. I feel if anything is to be nitpicked, it’s Kevin’s absolute bitchiness, because god he can be an asshole, and someone somewhere could argue because he has that antagonistic streak, DPD is entirely out of the question.

Unfortunately, the dichotomy exists of knowing when you can be bitchy and maintain submissiveness. Kevin probably learned where and when and to what extent he could tow that line when he lived in the Nest, whether it was taking out his anger and his anguish on other Ravens, on the court, or on the Foxes when he moved over. In my experience, my own explosive anger issues had to be portioned out, I had to know who I could do that to, be like that with. When and where was the correct time to lash out and when I was gonna get hit for it. Kevin isn’t stupid, he knew what Riko and Tetsuji were like. He also knew he had the upper hand in the power dynamic over the Raven’s on court. If he went for blood out of anger during practice, triggered by if Riko hurt him too much or took too much from him, other Ravens just had to take it, or worse, probably were encouraged to encourage the brutality.

All in all, I think Tetsuji created an absolute fucking labyrinth of a psychological warzone that both forced submission and rewarded dominance; it left lasting behavioral traits and triggered disorders that crippled Ravens, some for their entire lives. I wanna bet probably no former Raven went to therapy; the ones that got divvied up after the Nest closed probably were required to by their new teams, and they probably are the only generation that maybe were able to heal from it. In the extra content, Thea decided because Kevin could play again, “no harm no foul” on Riko’s end. If that’s not hivemind, culty, worshipper behavior, idk what is. That’s not a normal reaction, but it is a conditioned one.

[cozzzynook]

This may be uncomfortable but...

(Cyberverse)

Bee finding out Hotrod has been selling his frame to pay a loan?

For me its not but tw for everyone else

I’m setting the scene where Hot rod and Bee are siblings who lived on the streets.

They’re adults now and in the army under Optimus Prime - Bee’s carrier, bee was separated from Optimus for safety and reunited when joining - in a pretty good spot making pretty good money.

Hot rod doesn’t look as tired as he used to when they were younger. As kids Hot rod did all the dirty work so Bee would have a clean record and be safe. Hot rod is older so he was going to protect Bee no matter what.

It was easy to allow two little kids shelter where no bot would see them but as Hot rod got older and became a teen he worked odd jobs all the time where he had to hide bee behind counters or sneak him into homes during cleaning jobs.

Hot rod tried to hide all the ugly things from and he mostly did. He couldn’t hide foul smells or language in run down units they used to sleep in but he could hide how he had to pay for the more expensive things bee needed.

Bee needed expensive medicine for his growth and dysfunction when Hot rod was a young adult.

Bee was still young, a preteen, he didn’t know where the money came from or how Hot rod would always get it.

He didn’t know the job Hot rod did that got them into a nice tiny home that paid all the bills and brought in good food. He never saw anything out of the ordinary save for more bags on Hot rods optics and his frame getting smaller. Hot rod just said it was because his job was tough sometimes but he was okay.

Bee never knew Hot rod was selling his frame to pay for everything or that him sleeping with one of high command in the autobot ranks is how they were “discovered” so quickly.

Hot rod didn’t want his brother involved in fighting or the war but he wouldn’t force Bee to stay out of the fight when it was a chance he could protect himself better. Especially when Bee was originally out in under scout and wouldn’t be in the line of fire like he would.

Hot rod was further convinced to keep his objections quiet when Bee was reunited with his carrier.

Hot rod and Optimus naturally weren’t optic to optic on a lot of things but they both wanted bee safe and happy so they got along enough.

No one knows what Hot rod was doing to help them survive until its revealed on a mission.

An autobot running their intake points out Hot rod and makes proclaims Hot rod was one of the best frames they’d ever paid for.

Hot rod was so shocked he didn’t have time to say anything or move.

It was a decepticon that knocked the autobot out for him and it was Drift and Ratchet that moved him along since his processor froze.

Bee was devasted to learn his big brother had to resort to selling himself so they could live. So he could live.

Prowl and Optimus are telling the few that are there to say nothing and they move Bee along.

The mission was at its end when this happened.

They return to base and Hot rod is hiding himself in his room.

He doesn’t want anybot to see him and he especially doesn’t want Bee seeing him.

He feels so ashamed.

He was somewhat at peace with what he had to do but he never wanted Bee to know.

Ratchet felt bad for the kid and Prowl used every bots fear of him to keep the situation quiet while Optimus comforted his sparkling.

He had a new appreciation and respect for Hot rod.

The young mech did everything for his sparkling and he knows there isn’t a way to repay him but he could spend the rest of his days trying.

Bee wanted his big brother.

He wanted to apologize for needing so much and causing Hot rod so much trouble.

Bee knows Hot rod wouldn’t accept it because Hot rod wanted to do everything for Bee. He wanted to keep him safe and he truly did everything he could so bee would have a good sparklinghood.

The guilt eats at Bee.

He needs his big brother next to him. He needs his comfort and to comfort him. But he can’t because Hot rod is hiding in his room and won’t let him in.

It’s surprisingly Drift who sneaks into Hot rods room and sits down beside him.

Tells him about his time at the dead end and why Megatrons words were able to charm him, why they still charm him.

Hot rod never did drugs like Drift but he has had to survive.

He’s done things he didn’t want others knowing just like Drift and it makes him feel kindred to the mech.

“Peace of advice?”

“From you?”

Hot rod nods.

“When you turn coat, reveal who you really are, don’t let my bitty brother get hurt..keep him out of it..and don’t hurt Ratchet..he doesn’t deserve that..he really loves you. Like how you love him. Okay?”

Its quiet..Drift doesn’t look away from Hot rod for a long time and Hot rod makes no move to get up from his berth as he thinks to himself but he does see something vulnerable flash across Drifts optics and when the mech leaves feeling sad, he knows his words have gotten to him.

Its late in the darkest hours when Optimus finds Bee recharging in Hot rod’s arms.

Bee is latched on tight to Hot rod and Hot rod has a firm hold on Bee.

From the sight alone, he knows they’ll be alright.

-

I appreciate tips on my cashapp & kofi cozzzynook 💕