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ladypiscesmoon · 2 days ago

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I promised you all an update for Timmy and Armie: Consider it a little Christmas present. Happy Christmas to you all, mine starts tomorrow night, Christmas Eve, because I have a danish mother in law and the danish tradition is having dinner with the family and presents on Christmas Eve.

I got two new decks today in a beautiful shop here in the Netherlands, one of my favorites because they have so many beautiful things and good quality decks.

*the following reading is alleged/for entertainment purposes only*

Twin flame Ascension take me home oracle deck:

Armie: 11:11 Twin Flame/everything is possible, 4:4 Transformation/battle of Head vs. Heart

(4:4= alignment with your guides, 11:11=alignment with your beloved)

Armie wants to stand his ground, but his heart and his head are in a constant battle. I feel he knows his love for Timmy is not going away, it's a very unconditional type of love. Even if he knows that it would be easier to move on, he hesitates to let go fully. This love between them has the potential to be one of the greatest I have witnessed in my life and I think Armie feels it, but he wants to be taken seriously and be loved.

Timmy: 1:1 Acknowledge/take responsibility, 3:3 soul merger/ebb and flow

(1:1 =balance between your inner masculine and feminine energies, 3:3= alignment with your higher self)

Timmy has to focus on finding balance within. He feels all over the place at the moment. As ever, his back to back workload is an avoiding strategy, but it exhausts him AND delays reunion with his true love. He's got to accept the natural rhythm of life and the fact that it constantly changes. he's got to take responsibility for his actions and come to terms with what no longer works in his life. He alone has the power to change things in his life, if he makes these changes he will get what his heart desires. he has to connect again with his inner soul and what sets his soul on fire, so his future will be brighter.

Modern Lenormand deck:

the garden/the rider/the stars/the clouds/the mice/the fish

celebrating someones arrival

celebrating a birthday

all will work out for the best

improving confusion

something eating away over time

anxiety

stress

disease

arguments

financial loss

theft of money

Lots to unpack: it's a bit messy and contradictory.

I feel Armie is going back and forward in his head; what is he going to do about Timmy's birthday. I think they will not meet at Christmas probably. Too many hurdles and too much uncertainty about where they stand with each other. But not reaching out to Tim on his birthday is something Armie is not to keen on, even though they're not on the best of terms right now. , because it will hurt Timmy tremendously. He doesn't want to hurt him.

Timmy is all over the place. He has worked too hard and feels a bit manic to be honest. He really has to slow down after this campaign but knowing him he tries to forget his troubles by avoiding talking about them and by running away and working.

I'm not sure, but there seems to be some financial loss, or possibly a theft of money for Timmy.

Light shadow tarot: four of pentacles/knight of swords/seven of swords/ten of cups/eight of cups/ten of pentacles

Both want to keep things private, but it's Timmy particularly I felt when I pulled those cards. He wants to have this love, but he knows it will cost him other things and he's afraid. He's not the best at dealing with his intense feelings and he is ambitious, but I think he will see soon that it's not all that glamorous to have a lot of attention, or be famous because it makes him feel like he lost an important part of himself and in a way he mourns that too. He really does feel fu*d up at the moment, I think he has to rest, think what is important to him in life. I know he works hard, but particularly in the last year, he feels isolated and anxious. Gosh, I feel for him. It's not easy to come into fame so quickly and so young I understand why he's in doubt about a lot of things.

Having said that I feel Armie as well. He doesn't want bullshit like that in his life anymore. And why should he? It has cost him a great deal.

What do they want to say to each other?

the love angels oracle cards:

Tim to Armie: Put yourself first/forgive and release

He acknowledges that Armie has to put himself first and he loves him for being that strong now, but he also hopes Armie will forgive him.

Armie to Timmy: free yourself/twin flame

twin flame twice in one reading!I think Armie realizes it's not so easy to move on from Timmy. He wants Timmy to choose himself, to let go of the pressure to be successful at all costs.

twin flame love notes: top: Timmy, bottom Armie

#celebrity tarot #timothée chalamet #armie hammer

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possibilistfanfiction · 15 hours ago

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arcane prompt "hospital"?

[jinx deserves the world, also it's nice to let cait use her girlboss disposition for good sometimes, yknow. ao3 here.]

///

you hand caitlyn a cup of black tea she probably thinks is beyond shitty; it's all they had at the cart in the courtyard, and you still have no idea how to make proper tea anyway. still, she smiles — small, and residually scared, but genuine — in thanks. she's been crying, you can tell: her eyes are red-rimmed and the sweater of vi's she'd thrown on in the middle of the night is rumpled around the sleeves, like she'd used them to wipe her tears.

'she's going to be okay, right?' you look at vi's still, bruised form in the bed. 'they didn't, like, tell you really bad news while i was gone or something.'

caitlyn steadies herself. 'no,' she assures you. 'she's going to be just fine.'

'okay,' you say, and you trust her because she loves vi and because she's a doctor, and mostly because at this point caitlyn wouldn't lie to you. you scoot your chair forward and lace your fingers together with vi's hand, the one without an iv taped into it, and squeeze gently, just a hello. the doctors had explained that she's on a lot of medicine to keep her comfortable, plus the anesthesia from her surgery, so she's not going to wake up until midday at the earliest. but just in case she can feel you, you want her to know that you're there. you remember coming out of the worst sedations, medication that was wrong for you or just way too high a dose, to vi slumped next to your bedside, her big, strong hand steadfast around yours. 'did you see her x-rays or medical history or something?'

'i didn't intend to,' she says in way of an answer.

'ah.' you fiddle with vi's fingers. 'gnarly, huh?'

she puts her tea down on the small table near the bed and runs a hand through her hair before she scrapes it up into a messy ponytail. 'i knew, in theory,' she says. 'we've talked about things, of course. i'm able to help take care of when her chronic back pain flares, and how she really should have a surgical repair on her bad shoulder. but, i just, well. i suppose i comprehend the breadth of it now, more completely at least, the details in a way i can understand.'

you don't know; you don't ever want to know, not like that. vi still has nightmares about prison, still doesn't eat enough sometimes, still refuses heating pads and advil sometimes after a hard shift. 'yeah.'

'and i suppose, too, that it's hard to know how much she's hurt, even if it's so much less bad now.' she shrugs, helpless, and looks at you. 'i just love her.'

it had been terrifying, to get a call in the middle of the night from the fire department: vi had been in a building when it collapsed, and she was hurt and it was, potentially, very bad. you're not sure who they'd called first — you or caitlyn — but she'd texted you a minute after and offered to pick you up so you could both wait at the hospital while vi was in surgery. it had taken two hours before her dad came out and explained that vi had some internal injuries that still needed more fixing in surgery, as well as a few bruises and scrapes, but she would recover fully with time.

'you should move in with each other,' you say.

caitlyn pauses for a few moments, but then she lets out a quiet laugh. 'how long have you been holding that in?'

you shrug. 'you guys have been together for two years. i know vi wants to.' you don't mention that you hack into caitlyn's person email on occasion, just because you like to be nosey; you don't mention that you'd seen her and vi send property listings back and forth the last few months. 'i know she hasn't said anything to me because she doesn't want to upset me, or make me think like she's choosing you over me, or whatever.'

caitlyn considers it calmly. 'she would never do that, you know.'

'yeah.' you do; it's the thing you know most in the world. 'i also know that she's scared that if she doesn't help me at much, i'll have another episode.'

that, caitlyn has no response to.

'i've talked about this a lot in therapy.' you squeeze vi's hand, just in case she's listening too. 'at first i couldn't manage any of it without her, for sure.'

vi had spent her first month out of prison visiting you in your tent in the scariest part of town, not pushing, just bringing you food and warm clothes, comfortable blankets; she'd sit with you for hours if you'd let her, even if most of the time you talked to voices only you could hear and saw things she never would. finally, you agreed to go to the hospital with her, and from there it was more months of getting clean, and trying different medications, and really lame group therapy, and coming to terms with your diagnosis. vi was there as often as she could be, clean-cut for once while she went through the fire academy. you don't remember many details, but when you'd finally gotten released, she'd brought you to this small, rundown one bedroom apartment that she'd made as nice as she could. the first night you were home, she fell asleep in bed next to you in less than a minute, a few tears on her cheeks, seemingly of their own accord. it's always been a measure of love you'll always be a little in awe of.

'but, like, i remember my meds on my own now. i have a system.'

caitlyn's smile is honest-to-god proud. 'that's no small feat.'

you try to act nonchalant, but she's right: most of your medications have side effects that require other medications to off-set, and it's a nightmare if you don't coordinate them properly. 'and, like, my graduate program is going well, and i have friends, and i like climbing. i feel, not good, i guess. maybe i'll never feel good. but i feel real, and most of the time the world feels real too.'

caitlyn lays her hand on top of yours, and vi's.

'anyway,' you say, clearing your throat so you don't cry. you run your free hand through your hair, grown out some now after your "interesting decision," as vi had said, last year during a meltdown. 'vi can move out, and ekko can move in to our apartment. he's —' your boyfriend? your best friend? your favorite person, other than vi?

caitlyn smiles gently. 'he is.'

'he knows what to do, if i need help.'

'and i know you want to live with vi, and i know she wants to live with you.' even though you invade their privacy by checking emails, you'd never spill the beans that they've both individually been looking at rings. 'i can manage, without her there as much. i don't think either of us ever thought that would be our reality, which is why vi hasn't brought it up. i know she's still scared, probably forever. it was scary.' you take a big breath and then let it out; when you'd first gotten your diagnosis, it seemed like you would never get to be a full, independent person, and then it would be a death sentence. 'but i want to try. i can try.'

caitlyn squeezes your hand, and vi's too. 'i believe you will do wonderfully, in both my professional and personal opinion.'

'oh. really?'

she nods. 'you haven't had a full blown episode in over a year. i see you manage your days, and your impulses. clinically, you're actually a great patient. personally, you're a pain in the ass sometimes, but not because you're unwell.'

'just because of my stunning charm and incredible sense of humor? my flair for the dramatic?'

'something like that, sure.'

you laugh. 'thank you, so so much.'

she rolls her eyes but she's still fond of you, especially in the early morning light. vi's eyes are both bruised blue, but caitlyn had told you that surgeons had finally fixed her broken nose after it broke again this time: you're pretty sure vi hasn't been able to breathe properly since she was, like, twelve. at the very least she'll snore less, so a win for all of you. 'we found a house we want to put an offer in on,' she admits.

'yeah?'

she nods. 'it's not too far from your place, and it's right on the park.'

you scoff, just for posterity. 'fancy.'

she's unfazed by this point. 'we — well, vi was going to tell you, but i know it's fine if i do. we know you and ekko want to keep your current place, and i'd actually like to sit down with both of you and see if there's any way i can assist with your rent or other budgetary items.'

you're definitely, 100% about to cry, all of a sudden.

'she is so proud of you, for even being able to consider pursuing increased independence.'

you sniffle.

'but, the brownstone we're looking at also has a fully finished basement, with a bedroom and a small living area, its own bathroom. we've planned for it to be your space, whenever you want it, for any reason, for however long you'd like to stay. a night, a year. you will always have a home with violet, which means you will always have a home with me too.'

you have to do your deep breathing: sometimes kindness, especially given freely, is what makes the world slide most off-kilter. there are always voices telling you that you don't deserve good things, that caitlyn, and vi, and ekko, and vander, and even caitlyn's parents, when you go over to their giant ass mansion for celebratory dinners or parties, are lying to you. but you put your head down against your joined hands and count to ten, whisper it aloud, and then sit back up. caitlyn is waiting patiently.

'how big is the house?'

she laughs, heartily, and pulls out her phone to show you pictures and specifications. it's beautiful — not that you'd ever expect less of caitlyn kirammen — but she also tells you the plans she has to decorate, and your chest aches with a happiness so tinged with grief when she casually explains things vi wants in each room too. it's a life you never dreamed you'd get to have, and you know vi has probably been having total menty-b's about all of this, but she deserves a home more than anyone you've ever met.

'it's fine, i guess,' you say, after caitlyn finishes showing you their plans for the patio and yard.

caitlyn laughs. 'up to your standards?'

'could use more neon.'

'keep it confined to the basement, and you've got a deal.'

'ugh.'

'the only request i have is that you not blow it up.'

you pretend to contemplate. 'that's reasonable, i guess.' you look around at all the monitors proclaiming your big sister's strong heart and lungs and brain, despite it all. 'vi's gonna be so relieved that we don't have to have a heart to heart when she wakes up.'

caitlyn looks at the still planes of vi's face adoringly. disgusting, still. 'she'll be difficult enough as it stands, i'm sure.'

'total pain in the ass.'

////

you spend the first night after vi moves out in your apartment with ekko, and you fall asleep with your head tucked into his chest, safe still, even now. that weekend, you haul a duffle bag of your stuff — clothes, toiletries, a quarter of your lab, a few cans of spray paint — to vi and caitlyn's new house. neither of them are home yet, vi stuck grumpily on desk duty for the evening and caitlyn's meeting running over.

but your key turns in the lock, and your favorite snacks are stocked in the pantry. eventually, they both get home, and they're happy to see you, and caitlyn laughs at the improvements you've already done to the walls of the basement. vi ruffles your hair and you bully both of them into ordering tacos like you want, even though they have plenty of things you could cook at home. caitlyn is polite enough to let you curl up with vi on the couch, just for tonight, and you fall asleep, safe and warm, there too.

#arcane #arcane fic #caitvi #jinx. babygirl no1 #vi... getting stabbed in any universe... it's more likely than you think #SISTERS! it's all a love story!

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alittlebitofloveliness · 2 days ago

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Wassup y'all, I'm back from lowkey radio silence with another hot take.

I've been trying to figure out lately why my multishipper ass dislikes a lot of ships within the fandom- more specifically a lot of greaser/soc pairings, and I realised at the core of it it's because there is no conceivable universe where they work without completely changing canon or the personalities of the characters. or at the very least their loyalties and motivations. Narratively, the novel is very clear about this, it even throws Marbit in our faces to prove it, showing (greaser) Two-bit his absolute dream girl who is beautiful and fun and likes him too , and yet is forever unattainable because she's a soc.

"Oh but Lovely, you ship Marbit! And you've written Parry! Obviously you're just hating on our ships."

No, I'm not. I very specifically DON'T hate on any ship, because that makes fandom less fun and more toxic and that is the LAST thing I want to do and because everyone deserves to have their blorbos and their ships that make them happy, I'm not here to yuck anyone's yum. And I realise my claiming I can't see greaser/soc pairings and using Marbit as an example of why while also actively shipping them looks very hypocritical. That said, I ship both Marbit and Parry in a very specific way, that would work canon compliantly, or at the absolute minimum still within canon verse without changing the tensions or the history between the east side and the west wide, or the characters as people.

Do I think Marbit could work in canon (in a post canon verse)? Absolutely I do- but not with Marcia staying a soc, or (more unlikely) Two-bit staying a greaser. If it's going to work- and I think it will because they are each others person, in any universe, whether it works or not- then Marcia either needs to fully acccept that the man she's in love with is a greaser and will always be a greaser, he is from the east side, and he has nothing set up in terms of a future, and no family money to keep him safe and sheltered. She needs to accept it, and accept Two-bit in the process, and embrace a life where she is ok with it being her future, particularly if she and Two-bit ever want to date in the open, and definitely if they ever want to get married. If Marcia wants Two-bit she needs to be prepared for the judgment she will face from her peers for marrying a man so far 'beneath' her, has to be prepared for potentially being disowned/cut off by her parents, needs to be okay with the realities of east side life becoming her reality. In a slightly different reality, Two-bit needs to be prepared for marrying Marcia meaning he needs to clean up his act, needs to realise it will entail being forever looked down on by her family and friends (if they stay in contact), be prepared for Marcia's parents to pull some strings and get him a decent job, not a soc level one but one available to the upper middle class and definitely not poor kids. If Two wants Marcia he needs to recognise that it will mean no more petty thieving and no more booze and being viewed as a class traitor by the majority of his neighbourhood. In either version he has to be ready to deal with the people who will tell him he's ruining Marcia' life, that he dragged her away from her life and her potential, will perhaps have to grapple with those feelings even if they come from no one but himself.

But I still could see them working in canon, and working as themselves, but their relationship would always be affected by soc and greaser dynamics and if they work out, one of them will forever be viewed as a class traitor, and it will absolutely not be smooth sailing no matter how much they love each other.

Parry is a little bit different, but it's still a greaser/soc ship I could see fitting in canon, or in universe without egregiously changing the characters or class tensions, and a big part of why is because it's a clandestine relationship that is doomed from the start, and is doomed in every universe. It's a first love, a secret gay relationship between teenage hypermasculine football players in the 60s. Here, class tensions probably caused tension in the relaionship, but outside pressures would be less because Darry was well liked by even the rich kids and known to be going places, and also because the relationship itself never saw the light of day. The reason I ship Parry but only when they're doomed is because it very obviously could happen: Darry could kiss Paul in secret and still be a greaser loyal to this neighbourhood, and Paul could snog Darry and still be an upstanding upper class golden boy without looking like he's punching down, because no one knew they were dating in the first place. They could have truly loved each other when they were together and in canon it means nothing except the fact that their fight was a bit more personal than any other at the rumble, because neither of them ever intended for their relationship to be anything but a secret. They knew it would never be real in the sense they could have a life together, so it fits in canon because they characters were only ever going to be themselves, and as themselves their social classes make it so they are fundamentally incompatible, even if homophobia wasn't a barrier that it so obviously would have been. Darry and Paul work as a plausible couple because they never plausibly would have ever made a go of a serious relationship, and they both know it.

"Oh but Lovely," you say "by that logic any greaser/soc gay ship works in canon verse or canon adjacent verse. You should be able to see/ship any of them." To which I say no, not necessarily. First of all, not every queer person throughout history was okay with having a secret relationship- quiet ones sure, but gay people had 'roommates' in the sixties, and i think textually there is a lot of evidence to support that the majority of the Outsiders characters, were they queer, would not be particularly interested in being anyone's dirty little secret. And even if that weren't the case, and they'd be fine with a secret relationship, the fact remains that the greasers and the socs don't like each other. In fact, they canonically despise each other to the point where violence between the groups is commonplace. Darry was in a very unique position as captain of the football team and boy of the year, to form a connection with Paul that would be able to blossom into romance. He had a level of comfort and familiarity with the socs that the vast majority of the greasers don't have, and would never attempt to or even want to attain. The average greaser sees the socs as a danger and the reason they always get the short end of the stcik, and the average soc sees the greasers as ruffians and thugs, dirt under their shoes that belongs there. Yes, the book makes the point that all people are just people, but from what we see textually the chances of a greaser and a soc- particularly of the same gender- getting close enough to form a romantic attachment is slim to none unless both sides got really cool with a bunch of stuff really quickly after the rumble.

ANWAY if anyone is still here thank you for listening to my rambly unedited thoughts from 2am, these are my reasons for not shipping the majority of greaser/soc pairs, I hope they make sense

#the outsiders #darry curtis #paul holden #parry #darrel curtis #peril #two bit mathews #marcia the outsiders #marbit #the outsiders meta

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pinep-ne · 2 days ago

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Req: How do you think Charles and Arthur's first romantic dance went out? It can be a drabble or one shot, whichever you'd like! Go ham-

Ohh I love this.. I have an answer and a little one-shot for you. I got really carried away with this one,,

I think in a modern au, which is what I am assuming, for the sake of *romantic* and their *first*, it'd have to be the classic dinner date.

I like to think they knew each other beforehand from work or similar, and after some painfully obvious pining, Abby and Hosea were practically begging Arthur to just ask the dude.

I've never really thought of Charles being the type to initiate too much in relationships, being alone for so much of his life, and Arthur's probably had more experience being a ladies' man if Mary says anything, so I thought the trope fit. And with Charles being a closed book, Arthur probably didn't have any other promising ideas such as this one.

So he pops the question, to which he receives a sheepish yes. Panics a little because he was fully expecting to be friend-zoned, or a secret open-ended thing in between, and also had nothing else planned except for a place, a budget, and the time.

Of course the cherry on top is that the 'table-for-two at a warmly lit and hushed restaurant that pours champagne for hundreds' scene isn't really something familiar to either of them, so the dinner itself ends up pretty abysmal. I mean the evening is nice, and they're clicking, and it's not necessarily awkward, but they'd really just rather be anywhere but here.

Anywho. In truth, as their relationship unfurls I think Charles and Arthur would kind of stray to the more unconventional dates— hiking, camping, volunteer work, roadtrips, etc etc. It's safe to say a rich and lavish night of romance isn't really something they're super inclined to. Plus, there's just something a little impersonal about sitting across from the table from your potential lover, and these idiots have always seemed like the 'parallel play' type to me.

I hope I've embodied a lot of this in the fic well enough... sorry if it's all a bit of a spoiler!

Anywho. I hope you enjoy!!!!!!!!! It gets a little introspective like most of my works... so apologies in advance. And for reference, this is probably set in the early 2000s.

(i have this fic and more posted on ao3!)

----------

Arthur leans across the center console, trying to catch a glimpse of the apartment numbers once more. Re-checks his watch. Flips the visor down, and re-checks himself. He gives the reflection a once-over, kneading at his face, flicking back a particular chunk of hair, only for it to bounce back over his forehead. Curses, mulling over for the umpteenth time this whole affair, and steps out of the truck.

He thinks, immediately, that he should've asked earlier. In April, or something. Not December, when the sun's always further than it should be, and the truck only starts up on a prayer. It's too cold to wear something nice without it looking unfitting, but he supposes he's done okay. He wonders if Charles is any better, as if the man's ever looked bad a day in his life.

The quick jaunt to the door has his stomach flipping inside itself. He buzzes once, and twice, and considers a third time before it squeals open. Straightens. Crosses his arms before letting them down again at his sides. Thinks it better to just push them both into his pockets.

Charles is there, like he should be.

He's wearing about the same thing Arthur is, about the same thing they both wear normally, only more polished. Boots and jeans and a simple flannel, covered by a thickly lined denim jacket.

He gives Arthur a look. Something akin to amusement, maybe. Holds his gaze to Arthur's and gifts him an earnest little smile, like it's a secret just for the two of them.

Usually, he's got an inch or two on Charles, but with the man on the doorstep, Arthur's looking up a good bit. He's got one hand on the door, the other occupied with necessities, rested in the air with idle anticipation. Gaze following Arthur's every move, every frantic bout of shuffling, and fidgeting.

Arthur's chest stirs at the sight, at the tilt he keeps his neck to. He lingers on the feeling, and breaks the contact, looking over his shoulder while it settles.

It takes a second or three for him to even process that he's supposed to do something. He shifts on his heels and lets out a chuckle himself, smiling ear to ear.

"Hey," he huffs, and gazes up once more.

"Hey," Charles mimics. It makes them both laugh, the whole situation. Arthur can't seem to wipe the smile off his own face at that. He shoves fists further into his pockets, glances back to the truck, then down at his feet. Face feeling like ice, burning at the core. He's sure it's screaming quite a shade of red.

He steps back, letting Charles step onto the porch beside him. "You ready?" He asks, to which Charles hums.

They both settle in the truck. Arthur quickly fumbles for the keys before he can bear any drawn silence. His shoulders drop as the engine sputters to life, just ready to start the damned night.

He doesn't remember ever being this anxious for anyone. With Mary, there was almost a standard, or rubric for him. He knew her type well, what she fawned over in their early days. Could mold himself into it easily enough and be loved by a woman how he ought to be loved, and in turn love her the way he ought to love her.

With Charles, it seems it's flipped itself around. Some way or another Arthur'd bared himself enough for Charles to wrench that mask from him. And he supposes that is the issue, that there may in fact be nothing behind it, or at the very least, an entirely lesser man. One that would be realized, and discarded for what it's worth.

But, hell if he doesn't want it. Hell if Hosea didn't plead him for it either.

Arthur never told him about this excursion, but he plans to. Regardless if it goes well or not. The man deserves that much and more after putting up with his stubborn self. He just worries like a parent should. Arthur doesn't blame him, with how his past two relationships went. He supposes he worries too. Wonders many more chances he can take, before his heart is disciplined into something less malleable, less childish.

If anything, he is grateful that it'd have to happen now. He's felt freer, softer than he has in years. By instinct he wants to hate that, wants to beat it down before it gets a chance to blossom, but as a stronger nature, he finds that mere notion impossible the moment Charles finds him again, and shows him how easy it all is.

And Christ, it makes him sick.

They haven't even made it a minute down the road before Charles nudges Arthur, supposedly thrilled if the look on his face says anything, but with something unreadable behind it.

Arthur figures his nerves must be afire, too.

Charles turns to him, speaking low, an odd tilt of his tone, "Surprised you didn't bring me flowers or nothin'," he rests his elbow on the center console, pausing. "The girls told me about your... 'charms', as they called it."

Arthur balks, "Oh— pff. You're kiddin' me," he groans, rubbing a palm over his face.

Charles makes an amused noise through closed lips. "Maybe Ms. Gaskill just told it a little rosier than you did."

Arthur tilts his head around, shrugging. "Well... I mean, it was all puppy love back then. I ain't blamin' her none."

"Lucky I'd known before. Woulda second-guessed this whole thing."

Arthur leans back in his seat, one arm outstretched to steer, like those big rig drivers. Trying to loosen up, even if it seems unnatural. He looks at Charles, brows furrowed. "You ain't already?" Still trying to ride on the teasing, but there is genuine surprise there. He wonders if Charles wants it just as bad.

Arthur watches him open a pack of Marlboros, offering one. Watches him light both and take a drag. Voice a little more genuine, a little lower, "Can't say I'd ever," he says.

Arthur nods to that, and they fall back into silence.

The last bit of blue hour has fallen beneath the horizon, a void swallowing the road. The restaurant is further into the city. Not like neither of them really live in the city to begin with. The reviews were good enough, a little too distinguished for his taste, but he hopes there's at least some bit of casual-ness, with it being downtown.

They make it to the place, parking a block or two down. Before Charles can even think, Arthur's rushed out of the car and rounded to the passenger side. He whips open the door with a flourish and bends down with a hand out, grinning coyly.

Charles barks a laugh, turning his face away, as if he could flee the scene. "You bastard."

But Arthur persists, cheeks round with an actual smile now, still holding a palm out for Charles to take. "You ain't an exception to my romantic charms, Mr. Smith."

Charles steps out, shoving past the hand. "Sure," he breathes, face to face with Arthur on the curb, who's stood like a deer in headlights, performance quickly smothered. Charles gives him a perplexed look.

"Could use a little work, though. Face gives it away." He starts down the sidewalk.

"My— What about my face?" Arthur's pitch raises, catching up to Charles. He merely laughs in response, and throws another look Arthur can't quite put his finger on.

They reach the restaurant. A glistening tower of brick, about three stories, crammed between its larger neighbors. Arthur quickly settles in. Strides past Charles and makes a bee-line to the host, leaning across the stand. Mumbles where Charles can only hear the drawn vowels of his accent, low and grumbly.

They both follow the host like a family of ducklings. It's a lot more crowded than Arthur anticipated, or wanted frankly. He immediately begins to recognize his own askew presence, but decides not to bother.

Their seats are snug against the wall, on the second floor, with a little square table that hardly fits both their forearms, and a large window that reaches past their heads and down to their heels.

They each order a beer, in quiet agreement that they've already painted an odd portrait of themselves by wearing jeans to what is quite the esteemed establishment. There's a second of consideration before just picking the cheapest meal the place has, and deciding they'll share it.

Charles shifts in his seat. He clears his throat and takes a few sips of beer. Clearly the dread in the air has become palpable.

"Arthur, how've you been?" He says. It's blunt, and uncomfortably shallow. Arthur thinks like second nature, though with some amount of disappointment that it's where they must tread now before hitting any deep-end.

He tries his best to salvage it, anyway.

He takes a few sips himself before opening... whatever this conversation should be... and scrunches his face at the taste. Right. Cheapest options.

"Well y'know," his confidence tapers as soon as it had been mustered. "Pretty static right now. Dutch ain't sending me on any jobs lately, 'cause of the ice. Good time to—"

Charles, honest to god, giggles, though faint, waving his hand in a subtle gesture to Arthur. "We're not here to talk about work, Arthur," he sets both his elbows on the table, shifting again, like it's some interrogation. "How are you?"

Arthur sits, lips parted. He looks out from the window, then back at Charles, who stares expectantly. Then, his body suddenly rights itself, reanimating with an odd ferocity.

"Right— sorry... I ain't really connected like this, with you. Just not used to it." he pauses, "Long way from coworkers now..." he winces. "But I'm good. Not just in a shallow way, I mean. I'm real happy about this. Happy, in general. At least Hosea thinks so." he looks back out to the window, humming. "How're you holding up yourself? I know you... ain't really open up much 'round work and all."

Charles also falters, it seems, spotlight suddenly upon him. Arthur thinks the same epiphany's occurred to the both of them simultaneously. That a date does, in fact, take two.

Charles opens his mouth with a brief noise, much like a string of vowels that've been severed. He settles a little dejectedly, posture slightly shrunken.

"I don't really know what I'm doing, to be honest," he says. Avoids looking for Arthur's reaction, he barrels on. "It's just been a while since I've really... pursued anything? But I'm glad— y'know, that you are, but I'm also glad myself. Content, I think. Maybe a little anxious," he huffs and hides behind his beer again.

Arthur balks, "You?" He watches Charles perk up, smile growing, even if a little reluctant. "And here's me wakin' up 'fore dawn and starin' off half the day, I was so worried."

"We're in the same boat then," Charles says in stifled laughter. Arthur bites his cheek, stirred by the sight of it. He keeps the yarn spinning, coaxing more, slowly peeling back the layers eagerly.

The food comes, and he takes it as an opening. They share it together as planned, which could be a little tastier with the damn price of it. Not that Arthur is really paying attention.

They trade throughout the night. Little details, and Arthur learns more than he'd expected to. About Charles' mother, with sparse mention of his father. That this is both their first serious date with another man. That Charles has a sweet tooth, shyly confirmed after the pursed lips he'd given when Arthur declined a dessert. Little quirks about him that Arthur's already begun nailing into his own heart, forgetting entirely to share anything about himself until prompted to.

By the end of it, the creaky stools and odd stares all around hardly really mattered anymore. He supposes he's grateful for the experience as they walk out, and only knows for sure when they're both shoulder to shoulder on the street again. His heart stutters despite it. He feels he owes something.

"Charles. Hey, I'm uh," he stops them when they reach the truck. "Sorry if this was all kind of a bust."

Charles faces him, remnants of a smile still lingering. "What do you mean?"

"Not that I didn't enjoy it! I mean you're— it was really amazing. I loved it, I'm just kinda realizin' maybe the fancy night-outs ain't fit for us, or me for that matter," his hands stay at his middle, fidgeting with the keys, averting his gaze.

Charles looks at him even more confused. Taking a second to process that, then, his features relax in what seems to be understanding. He lends another smile, "Your company was wonderful Mr. Morgan," his voice falls back into that same timbre from earlier in the evening. "But I think you're right," he says, to which Arthur only huffs.

They settle back into the truck, silence looming over once again. Arthur can hear the rustle of fabric as Charles shifts in his seat; he doesn't feel any urgency to turn the keys.

"What about lights?" Charles asks.

"Lights?" He mimics.

"Christmas lights. Whole festival for them, next weekend. Should be near your area." He does the same move he'd done on the drive here— elbow on the console, except his head rests in his hand, and he's leant closer a great deal, wholly confident in his proposal, although Arthur can't imagine how he's already figured out the answer.

He clicks his tongue, turning the keys. "Sure," he says. "I'd love that," voice pitched and quieter, like an admission to himself.

The drive back is in contentment. Arthur feels like a wad of knots that've been untied and strewn limp on the floor. Part of him longs for more, more of Charles, more of his voice, for some odd reason. Part of him wants to just crash at his place and wake like it's been the two of them all along, but he knows he can't rush it. For both their sakes.

Dutch has always prodded him for having a pliable heart. He's never found it in him to disagree. He's starting to think he wouldn't have it any other way, though.

They reach the screen door, mirroring the position they were in just hours earlier, Charles on the doorstep, Arthur tilting his head to meet his eyes.

He sways around, air a lot colder, trying to keep his nerves about, before stilling a moment, and turning to Charles with as much coolness as he can. "What was it about my face? Said it didn't help my 'charm'?" He asks, voice breathy.

Charles squints, confused, before his eyebrows raise with recognition, a faint laugh bursting out— a small 'oh' buried somewhere between it.

He takes a breath, "You blush a lot, Arthur."

Arthur's face scrunches, "What?" He exclaims. "That ain't fair, 's just cold, Charles,"

"Mm. I noticed it that first ranch job in August," Charles offers, snuffing out Arthur's poor excuse.

Arthur turns his head to where the truck sits, trying to save the embarrassment for later, if at the cost of Charles' amusement. "Pfft. Bastard. It can't be that bad?"

"How do you think Hosea picked up on it before either of us did?" Charles supplies, still grinning.

Arthur grumbles out a string of empty curses, letting the topic go, for now at least.

A pause. The truck rumbles behind them.

Arthur inhales sharply, "Well I suppose I should get going."

"Yeah," Charles says. He rests his hand on the door handle.

"Thank you, for y'know. See you next weekend?"

Charles searches his face, eyes like palms tracing the shadowed features. "Yeah. Take care."

Arthur lends a smile in response and finds another shot back at him with a fervent sincerity. Turns around before it gets the best of him, and walks down to the truck.

#god making these two have have a conversation more than five words and a grunt is like pulling a ten ton boulder with a fishing line #honestly i don't think they'd have an official 'first date'#just suddenly living and doing everything in tandem #even if there's only one of them in the room #rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #arthur morgan #charles smith #charthur #pinewrites #requests

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moonspirit · 2 days ago

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Annie was stuck in the crystal during the time that puberty would hit her the most. How does coming back from the crystal AND losing titan powers affect her? I was wondering what are your thoughts about it. Does her body change afterwards or not? How does she feel about it? Whats her reaction to getting her first period/PMS? How are the girly talks with Pieck? Did Armin notice the change and/or sense Annie's worries related to the lack of it?

Hello anon!

I've spoken about this a few times in the past so in case you haven't seen those posts yet, they're here if you're interested :O~

the whole age discourse

the growth discourse

Annie being malnourished and a HC that she develops agoraphobia.

Tho to put it simply, my thoughts are that she suffers from weakness, tiredness and exhaustion post losing the titan powers and this lasts for quite a while. Something about the strain of carrying the power inside her all this time that makes itself known only once its gone. Imo she probably also suffers from insomnia and *some* binge eating tendencies.

Tho I've always thought that post-canon she's likely to maybe gain a bit of healthy weight and perhaps even grow an inch. The fact that we saw her stunted at the pre-timeskip height means we will never know if Annie's was always destined to be a short person through her genetics or if she's just that way because of the crystal with potential to grow more post-canon, or if the crystal irreversibly damaged the possibility of that ever happening - but it's fun to think about any which way xD I personally like to imagine she does gain an inch!

As for what she feels regarding this, hmmm, not a lot because her skillset has always mattered more to her than physical attributes and this attitude is here to stay, but if we talk about post-canon Annie who's hit by a 10000 tonne truck of new feelings and emotions, then it won't be too wrong if I say it makes her insecure sometimes???

Coming to the whole period thing - I have a very very specific hc about this, and it is that she doesn't get them until her powers are gone haha xD It's just an idea of mine but playing around with some vague titan science and biology ideas, the shifter powers do not prevent her puberty from kicking in, per se, but rather that it "wicks away" the physical aches, pains, and bleeding. So Annie experiences a normal period as we know it, only post-rumbling. (If you're a reader of VBEOW this is actually a major and recurring point of discussion and there's a lot of involvement of Armin and Pieck in this subject!)

As for girly time with Pieck, ahahaha xD Omg post-canon Pikuani is one of my favourite things ever, because I really REALLY love thinking about these two finding comfort and friendship and "sisterhood", shall we say? in each other after all this time being separated. With Annie's aloof personality, it's just my hc that during her training years before being sent off to Paradis, she didn't really get to "bond" with Pieck. But post-canon? So much time to get close and silly and confess some of their deepest feelings to each other, under the reassurance that, here is someone just like me who has all the pains I do and will understand me :>

#askies #annie leonhart #headcanon #shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan #armin arlert #snk #aot #annie leonhardt #pieck finger

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sirbonesly · 2 days ago

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In another world, Roach finally finds his Ghost

This is dedicated to @briarscreek who I promised some Roach rambles but instead somehow broke my writers block. It got a little out of hand, and I'm not used to writing for CoD yet, so I apologise if anyone feels out of character or if it has any mistakes.

TW: Mentions of child abuse, mentions of burns/fires, I think that's about it.

Second lieutenant Gary Sanderson climbed out of the back of the truck, adjusting the straps on his vest before helping unload the truck of equipment. Bee pushes the crate towards the edge of the truck, and Gary grabs the handle to help carry it off. They drop the crate by the others, nodding to a dark skinned soldier with a clipboard and a baseball cap. He goes to turn, wanting to help unload the last two crates, but the man grabs his shoulder with a polite smile.

“Sergeant Kyle Garrick. Captain Price wanted me to introduce you all to the base before the briefing.”

Gary stares at the man for a moment, eyes flitting over his face from behind his goggles. He knows he should be speaking right now, that his mouth should be moving behind his mask and words floating through the air. But it takes longer than is considered polite.

“Second lieutenant Gary Sanderson. Call me Roach.”

Kyle either doesn’t notice the prolonged silence or doesn’t mention it, which Gary is thankful for. They nod to each other, Kyle not bothering to salute and Gary honestly not caring. His captain, Spencer Anderson, had warned him that the 141 played fast and loose with regulations and rules. Not that he cared much for them himself, but he was glad for the warning anyways.

Sergeant Belinda Hughes, aka Bee, called out to him from where she’s dragging a crate. Gary gives Kyle another nod before leaving to help his team unload. There’s a sinking feeling in his stomach, one he hasn’t felt since his childhood, and he’s forever grateful about his mask and goggles. He’ll ignore the feeling for now, it’ll either dissipate or it’ll makes itself obvious soon enough. Either way, Gary has a briefing to go to.

~~~

Simon doesn’t like the second lieutenant. To be fair, he doesn’t like a lot of people, but the second lieutenant, Sanderson, just pokes at something in him. He’s sitting too close to Gaz, laughing too loud at Soap’s jokes, he’s too impersonal with his own soldiers. But it’s not a regular dislike. It’s like looking at a puzzle piece that almost fits, the right colour, the right shape, but just different enough to not fit.

Simon doesn’t talk to Sanderson during or after the briefing. He knows that they’ll have to interact, both of them being lieutenants, but he’s planning to keep everything short. He’ll go through the mission like every other mission, keep a closer eye on his sergeants, and then wait for the team to leave. Price told him to play nice, that this team was full of potential and had more than a few eyes on it. It wouldn’t do good to create bad blood between them.

~~~

The mission goes well, minimal injuries and a successful grab and go. Gary’s team was tasked with infiltrating the compound and grabbing several hard-drives worth of information. The 141 was on watch, being comprised of snipers. The only major injury was Gary, a shot that grazed his side, just barely missed his vest. It was a lucky shot from the guy, but one of the 141 had dispatched him barely a second later.

Bee and sergeant Antonio “Texas” Valdez need to drag Gary to the infirmary. He’s reluctant to go, not liking the idea of missing the group debrief because of a graze. But when Bee and Texas shove him towards one of the nurses, he finds that he’s not alone. Lieutenant Ghost is getting his arm stitched up, his gear gone to leave him in his jeans and shirt. Gary has to wonder how the hell Ghost beat him here, the 141 truck had pulled in behind theirs.

“Go ahead and sit down, Sanderson. One of my nurses will be by to stitch you up.”

Gary sits on the small bed across from Ghost, and he can’t help but turn over all of the information he has about the lieutenant. Ghost hadn’t given a name, just a call sign. Gary didn’t give his call sign, too busy trying to keep Bee from bullying Texas. Ghost is massive, easily one of the biggest guys he’s seen besides that one Austrian kid over at KorTac. Gary’s not small by any means, 175 centimetres and a little over 80 kilograms, he’s packing some muscle. But Ghost is nearly a head taller than him, easily twice his width, probably over 100 kilos.

They sit in silence as the nurse stitches up Ghost, another nurse coming in to start stitching up Gary. He sheds his vest and jacket, grimacing at the hole in the car-hart. The nurse guides him to lay on his side, and he ends up facing Ghost as the nurse stands behind him. He tries not to make eye contact with the lieutenant as he winces from the sharp needle. Shoot or stab him, and Gary will brush it off to get the mission done. But bring a needle to his skin and he’s practically a kid again, wincing and fidgeting and pushing down tears.

~~~

Simon had a friend when he was a kid, back before Tommy got custody of him and his parents were arrested. Living in an apartment meant Simon knew almost everyone on his floor, and that meant he was there when some short bastard moved in as his neighbour. Only a year younger than Simon, the kid latched onto him like a microfiber towel, and then grew on him like fungus.

He doesn’t remember the kid’s name, just the nickname Simon gave him. He watched the kid take a punch right to the face, watched the bully turn away laughing, and then nearly screamed when his friend jumped up with a bloody nose and a black eye like nothing happened. Simon never called him anything but “Roach” after that, liked the way he popped up to his feet no matter what.

Unless it was a needle. This kid, one who took a baseball bat to the ribs and still managed to run for gym the next day, nearly fainted when the school was doing their vaccines. 7 years old and balling his eyes out, holding Simon’s hand like it owed him money. Simon remembers telling him that needles weren’t scary, that Roach was being a wuss. But he still made Tommy take them out for ice cream after school, still gave Roach his free piece of fudge that came with the cone.

Simon looks at the second lieutenant lying on the bed, tears in the man’s eyes as the nurse stitches him up. Simon hadn’t given out his name to the visiting team, content to keep his identity a secret just for fun. He’d been the one to shoot the tango Sanderson was fighting, the one who’d been just a second too late to prevent injury. Simon had been prepared to switch his comms to their team, to the 283 frequency and let them know their second lieutenant was injured. But the man just got up, popped to his feet like it was nothing and continued with the mission.

That’s when Simon knew why he didn’t like Gary Sanderson. He was familiar. Without being able to see his face, Simon had been forced to watch mannerisms. Skittish around strangers, able to fit into a surprising amount of spaces he shouldn’t be able to fit into, and resilient as hell. He acted like a fucking roach. He acted like Simon’s best friend. The one that he watched die, missing during a fire in their apartment building, one that Simon himself barely got out of. The best friend that dropped off the face of the Earth after that, no funeral, no mention in the local paper. Just gone.

The nurse has been finished with Simon’s stitches for a long while, but the lieutenant just sits and watches this grown man cry over getting stitches, over the needle. He knows, despite his mind trying to tell him the logic, that Gary Sanderson is familiar for a reason. Tries to ignore the slim chances that Simon would get such a lucky break in his life. But it’s not him that speaks up, it was never him who made the first move during childhood.

“You gonna watch me cry, sir?”

~~~

The words have more of a bite to them than is probably respectful, but Gary is feeling a bit embarrassed at the moment. The nurse is finally done stabbing him and has moved on to bandaging him. Ghost is just watching him, and Gary takes the chance to look over the man. Wearing the short sleeved shirt, Gary can see the edges of a burn scar peaking out from the sleeve, mostly covered by the sleeve tattoo. Gary’s not judging the scar, not when half of his chest is just one large burn that creeps up his neck and jaw. But there’s something familiar about it.

There’s something familiar about the honey brown eyes of Ghost. How despite the confident air around him, Gary can see the way his shoulders are tense and his eyes dart between the stitches on Gary’s side and the tear stains on Gary’s face. Can see recognition in those honey coloured eyes.

The moment the nurse leaves, with orders for Gary to take it easy and for Ghost to be careful with his arm, the air gains tension. Or maybe it was already tense, but being alone together just brought attention to it. Because Ghost stands up as Gary turns to lay on his back, the lieutenant coming to stand next to Gary’s bedside. Officially, they’re both free to go, but neither of them move to actually leave.

"You always cry from needles?”

The question is unexpected, makes Gary tense up and grimace behind the mask. But it’s the first time he’s heard Ghost speak beyond barking orders over the comms. Gary is thankful that the bullet grazed his clean side, the unburned side. Because being asked about needles is much easier than trying to explain the burns.

“Yessir. Ever since I was a kid, couldn’t stand needles. Nearly broke my friend’s hand during school vaccinations.”

And oh dear, it must’ve been the right thing to say because Ghost tenses up like a deer in headlights. He raises a slightly shaking hand to his face, glancing over his shoulder at the closed door and the blinds pulled shut, before grabbing the back of the balaclava.

Gary can feel tears pool in his eyes as he find those familiar brown eyes again, his stomach twisting with too many feelings to decipher. Relief, surprise, anger, longing. But Gary manages to lift a very shaky hand to his goggles, pulls them up to rest on his helmet, pulls down the neck gaiter he likes to wear.

“Simon.”

“Roach.”

The names are traded, a mountain of questions being placed on each. Where have you been? What happened? How are you here? Each question hangs in the air, waiting for an explanation, needing an answer. And Simon, for the first time in his life, speaks up first with Roach.

“You died. The apartments burned down, they didn’t get you out.”

“My mum threw me out a window.”

Simon makes a pained noise that almost sounds like a laugh, a bewildered look pulling at his face. It makes the scar on his lips pull up, the upper row of teeth just barely visible through the gap of muscle. His eyebrows twist upwards and his eyes widen slightly, just like they did whenever Gary said stupid shit as a kid.

“My mum, she threw me out of the window cause the door was blocked. Landed in the dumpster outside of the building, firefighter found me after most of the ambulances left.”

“Oh.”

Simon sits down in the chair next to the infirmary bed, arms crossed over his chest as he tries to wrap his mind around the explanation. He knew Gary’s mum had loved him on some level, though it never stopped her newest boyfriend from sneaking into Gary’s room some nights. So it shouldn’t be a huge surprise that she tried to save him, but it still makes Simon want to laugh.

Simon pulls his phone out, an old thing with a cracked screen that Laswell had practically forced him to get. It’s only got a few contacts on it, Farah and Alex, some of the Los Vaqueros, Laswell herself, and his team. Jonny’s at the top, a soap bar emoji in place of a name and a star marking him as a favourite. Simon makes a new contact, putting a cockroach in the name line and marking it as a favourite before handing it over to Gary.

The second lieutenant takes the phone with a confused look, understanding flashing across his face when he sees the empty contact. He punches in his number quickly, something close to excitement starting to bubble up in his chest. He knows that this isn’t how old friends are supposed to greet each other, but Simon and Gary were never normal friends.

So, he takes a blurry and picture of his face for the contact picture and hits the save button, handing the old and busted phone back to Simon. He watches as his old friend pockets the device, his mind still trying to wrap around the situation. But Gary can adapt and survive, it’s why he earned the nickname “Roach”. His face pulls into a smirk as he looks over Simon’s shoulder, seeing a frantic looking scott arguing with a nurse.

“So… what’s going on between you and MacTavish?”

“Shut the fuck up,”

#cod 22 #roach cod #gary roach sanderson #gary sanderson #simon ghost riley #ghost cod

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savagewildnerness · 3 days ago

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Last part of TVL!

There's so much I feel like cannot happen on TV... Do you think some of it can happen? I guess, to embrace whatever will be instead as new can be exciting too!

Epilogue:

Questions:

Book-Lestat sleeps 1929-84 (55 years), but he’s really out of action 1860-1984 (from when Claudia murders him.) 124 years… He was mortal 1760-1780 then had pretty much 80 years of vampiric existence… really… when he awakens in 1984, although he is 224 years old, he has only lived 100 years of life - only now is he really embarking on actual living-years beyond a mortal’s. (It’s also implied Nicki is slightly older than Lestat as Nicki dies in 1789 and Lestat says he is 30. This could just be an *ish*, but still… This is also the year of Marius. So Nicki would be born 1759 and Lestat 1760 in the book….). Also Lestat, Louis and Claudia are together for 65 years… Ish. Louis made a vampire in 1791 and Claudia in 1794. Claudia and Madeleine are killed in 1865 in the book.

Now, on TV, Lestat is a mortal 1760-1794. He turns Louis in 1910 and Claudia in 1917 and they kill him in 1940… He’s going to be rockstar Lestat in 2025-ish, at which point he would be 265 years old… he is going to have been out of the world pretty much 1940-2025 - 85 years, but how much dirt nap time will he have had and when? I think he’s only going to sleep in between Nicolas and Louis myself. If he really did sleep for around 100 years, that would take him to a comparable amount of existence as book-Lestat - around 100-ish years (105) of mortal and vampire existence. Louis and Claudia and Lestat have only 23 years together, the three of them on TV?

OK… all that to say a few things - in 1860-1984 Lestat misses out on much of the Industrial Revolution, an era he finds desperately unromantic and depressing. How will the time shift affect this on TV? I think, given there’ll only be one nap it’ll be grief, not the era that drives Lestat underground most likely… but what is it about whenever Lestat rises that will bring him back? *Just* Marius? Because I would say NOW feel this dreariness and doom and lack of Romance of the Industrial Revolution…?? When compared to when book-Lestat wakes…

Q Will the show compare Nicki and Louis, or do you think they’ll be more different on TV given how Louis is compared to book-Louis. Here, Lestat compares their cynicism and self-destructiveness and I think those two traits are held nay show-Louis too…

Q How will it affect things that it is Louis rather than Claudia who gives Lestat his near slip into mortal death? The thing is, this is less true anyway on the show as Lestat is both stronger and less badly injured… and potentially it could up the poignancy of Loustat… but it would lessen something for Lestat and Claudia

Q Will Lestat not mention Antoinette, the way he doesn’t mention Antoine in the book. LOL - poor Antoine!

Q Might Lestat actually still say his murder was all Claudia’s fault to Armand, at least initially?

Q Book-Armand wants Claudia dead so he can have Louis and he wants Louis and Lestat to both think each other dead (though he’d kill neither.). But what does TV Armand want and why? Is it safely, solely? So he was willing for whoever to get killed at the trial as long as some thing remained so he could continue to exist and he literally wasn’t fussy? This concept feels pretty vague and strange to me…?

Q P511-2 Louis says Lestat made fledglings in NOLA, but Lestat says they’re orphaned fledglings who just stumbled on his lair. Who do you believe? I believe Lestat in this as I think he’d have been way too weak from how everyone describes him to make any fledgling and also Louis only assumes they’re his fledglings. However, I do believe Louis’ account that he visited Lestat in person, didn’t just see him through the window as Lestat describes here. It makes no sense that Armand tells Louis to go to NOLA to see Lestat, then Louis finds Lestat and doesn’t even enter the building to speak to him. In what world! No world! I think Lestat is just ashamed. Not because of how pitiable he looks and is… but because he begged Louis to stay with him so pitiably and Louis left him. I think the idea that Louis could walk away from him is too much for Lestat’s mind. And I also think he was pretty addled at this time - weak and every thing he’s unsure what was real or dream or illusion… so Lestat might not even fully remember it anyway, even though it happened. I think Lestat is ashamed and hurt.

I do think they need to get across the fact of Amand’s incandescent rage because he loves Lestat, but Lestat loves Louis in a way he never did, Armand.

Q Did book-Lestat make Louis partly to punish him for Nicki? And TV Lestat?

Notes:

“Louis was a sufferer.” - Is that what makes folk fascinating, Lestat?

“His blindness to the motivations or the suffering of others” reads like lack of empathy, naivety and self-centredness to me, as Lestat describes Louis… which doesn’t;t sound very charming to me…

Interesting that Louis eviscerates Lestat in IWTV, but p501 Lestat doesn’t care about denying any of that… BUT he wants us to know Louis begged Lester to never leave him - that Louis didn’t say he loved and needed Lestat is what bothers Lestat, not that he pained him as a literal Hell-Demon.

“He must look presentable, our lost lord. That was always his way.” I think this line could be on TV.

P510 - “My never ending supple of ‘coin of the realm’” - I love how Anne just writes this like it is here: a magical money tree.

“I’d slip a little deeper away from things, just lying in the dark.” I love how Anne describes depression, grief and withdrawal from the world.

Has anyone read Black Mask? Is it light or dark? Serious? Easy to read?

I wrote hearts over this last part of the book over and over: so much love for Louis.

Lestat is so out of it when Armand visits. He doesn’t know what’s real and what isn’t and doesn’t have the capacity to even think on it. P513 - many quotes here. Lestat feels close to madness…. And again, I say Louis did visit.

“Look at the fire. Wouldn’t it be lovely if it took the whole room? Wouldn’t it be lovely if it spread and spread and took us all? You can never see things becoming impossible. If only you knew beforehand the forces are… invisible… that bring you to a stop, you might be able to prepare… One day you can’ muster the will to cross the room. Open spaces… passable… everywhere… who saw it coming?” Richard Greenberg, The Dazzle. I’m reminded so strongly of this when Lestat is finally talking about candles running out, time passing in strange ways and at last going into The Earth to hold him, surrounded by slithering things that are not horrific.

Akasha’s words are exactly Allessandras (p518 & 221)

Things that can’t happen on TV:

Lestat doesn’t have a full mortal lifetime with Louis and Claudia, only 23 years

Lestat can’t tell us he only killed the evildoer during his time with Louis without huge retcon of conversations we saw

Claudia isn’t the one who took him closest to a mortal death, it’s Louis. And he was stronger and less injured, so also - not so close to a mortal death.

I’m really sad we can’t see Lestat as described on p504 - as a hideous and crippled monster, hunting on the outskirts of society, basically a revenant - his soul shattered as well as his body, such that his light is gone and he is a husk of a being, merely existing, more beast than human for sure.

Lestat cannot go to Armand in Paris in order to drink his blood and be healed. He is not as injured and he is stronger on TV too.

Armand can’t trick Lestat the way he does in the book into being imprisoned as Lestat is incredibly mentally fragile as well as physically fragile here in the book - psychologically and emotionally, and I just don’t see how he can be to this degree on the show, once again, given the above changes and that he cannot have just gone through these years of revenant-esque existence.

Armand can’t see Lestat’s scars as he does in the book.

Armand can’t feel the level of triumph he does in the book.

Lestat’s vanity matters here - when Armand is taking him to the theatre, he does’t want to be *seen*, but given he never looked more immaculate than at the trial, he can’t be bothered about this…. Like book-Lestat wouldn’t want to see Louis in Paris as he’d be ashamed of being seen how he was there by Louis, for example.

Lestat is in fact so fragile here, that even is courage deserts him. I want to see this Lestat in Paris, but I cannot conceive of how it could be possible given the changes on TV.

Assad would be so brilliant conveying Armand’s incandescent range at Lestat reminding him all he’d given him and expecting something now in return, when from Armand’s perspective, he hasn’t let go of what Lestat did to the old coven at all… but all of this can’t happen on telly…

Lestat can’t be kept in the Bosch basement of literal Hell….. nor can he be shoved with barely any warning into the trial as he rehearsed it on TV…. Might Armand keep him in one of the coffins in the cellar, like Nicki, like Louis for a time? (See quote p508). I don’t think so, but it is possible…

Claudia going silently into death didn’t happen. It’s really sad how Lestat describes this in the book.

Armand pushing Lestat off the tower - it’s just too similar to the Louis-Lestat drop… unless Armand literally replicates it to punish Lestat??? But if that’s the case it isn’t like the book in any case.

Lestat being stuck in Paris (a place of trauma for him) for 2 years till he is strong enough to get back home can’t happen.

Armand’s vision of restoration to SadStat p514 can’t happen BUT I WANT IT. I love how it echoes the glorious vision from when Lestat was but a baby vampire too, that Anne wrote in that magnificent prose!

Armand can’t watch over Lestat for 55 years in NOLA as Lestat sleeps like in the book, I’m sure. Might he during Lestat’s 1800’s nap? It’s described how he does this by Louis in the book on p531

Louis can’t have thought Lestat was dead… not pre-rock star era a anyway as he’s literally just seen him! Too many changes for that. In the books, when Louis visited Lestat, he thought he was dying a mortal old-age-esque death and he left him anyway, which for me amps up the tragedy of it, as Louis loves Lestat, yet leaves him. Leaves him thinking he may never see him again, as he may now die. And maybe it’s what he deserves. And maybe it’s a kindness. And now he is alive and restored here… but it can’t be this way on TV. Things are not this way.

Lestat being sarcastic is fun:

Sarcastic about other vampires in fiction p502

And again, p530

Lines for TV

Harecatcher/ratcatcher from Armand to Lestat

Delicious it was, the hatred between us, or so I thought. Such unfamiliar excitement, to have him there to ridicule and despise.

"I can't deceive you," I answered. "I can't love you. What are you to me that I should love you? A dead thing that hungers for the power and the passion of others? The embodiment of thirst itself?” - but when? As not in NOLA…..

I hope Lestat says this “The earth was holding me. Living things slithered through its thick and moist clods against my dried flesh. And I thought if I ever do rise again, if I ever see even one small patch of the night sky full of stars, I will never, never do terrible things. I will never slay innocents. Even when I hunted the weak, it was the hopeless and the dying I took, I swear it was. I will never never work the Dark Trick again. I will just ... you know, be the "continual awareness" for no purpose, no purpose at all.”

I’m sure Louis will call Lestat Monsieur Le Rock Star.

“I think to be this happy is to be miserable, to feel this much satisfaction is to burn.” Lestat, on being with Louis.

“And I had always loved him, hadn't I, no matter what happened, and how strong could love grow if you had eternity to nourish it, and it took only these few moments in time to renew its momentum, its heat?” Such a lot of love in this meeting.

Hopefully we get to see Louis protect Lestat by punching someone like he does p544….

Dionysus in San Francisco:

Questions:

Q How will a rockstar tour work? Akasha appearing at the final concert and that being San Francisco? I guess the music industry is very different now… you wouldn’t get someone as famous as Lestat describes with such buzz yet who’d never performed live, I think…. Also, Louis worries about Lestat performing one concert… how will he feel about a whole tour? When will Akasha wake? How will Marius play Lestat’s music to her?

Q Will Lestat write an actual book? Or will it be something else? And how will Louis consume whatever it is?

Q P529 What’s the pain Lestat senses in Louis? “I sensed a pain in him, running like a vein of ore through his whole being, a vein that could carry feeling to the coldest depths.” Yearning? Worry? Guilt? Regret?

Q Lestat seeks meaning to fit the age, but The Age now is the 2020’s, not the 1980’s. What is the spirit and meaning of right now?

Q Any lines you think might be used as song lyrics?

Q: Will Lestat’s rockstar career be compared to Nicolas and the Theatre Des Vampires?

What Lestat is doing with his rockstar stuff is very similar to what Nicolas was doing with the Theatre des Vampires 200 years earlier. Both of them are actually revealing true vampire experience though art, which is perceived by mortals as only art.

But actually Nicolas did it in a more artistic & darker & meaningful way - with some kind of actual lesson about true evil in his art & the artistic expression of his own experience.

However, Lestat in true Lestat style goes all out on charisma & fun & entertainment & wants to create joy & enjoys the kind of pagan/religious/Witches’ Place Rapture of it all.

But, Lestat despises Nicolas’ art as a vampire: because it is so vampiric & inhuman. He calls it ‘petty’. But it *is* at least Nicki’s genuine expression. And I don’t think we can argue anything other than that it was ‘better’ art, too! And Lestat - you and Nicki both *are* vampires! You made Nicki this!

In any case, what on Earth would 1780’s Lestat say to his own 1980’s art!!!?!

Lestat even calls his own lyrics puerile… so why does he not even want to make good art? The lyrics in all caps and the fact they were vampire capes… it is all SO cheesy!!

I am also reminded of Lestat’s first on-stage vampire breakdown with his rockstar feats - there’s a similar vibe, except in a new era, where Lestat no longer scares as these humans can believe these things possible that weren’t possible 2 centuries earlier.

Q Lestat reading a Bowie biography at some point? Surely some biography of some musician we’ll see…?

Lestat literally screams “"I AM EVIL! EVIL!”” P541 and it is SO Nicolas screaming what he truly is at passersby… yet the impact is different as 2025 is different. But I feel you could parallel this somehow if you so chose to.

The concert is described as almost transcendental.

“Deliver me from this, deliver me from loving it. Deliver me from forgetting everything else, and sacrificing all purpose, all resolve to it. I want you, my babies. I want your blood, innocent blood. I want your adoration at the moment when I sink my teeth. Yes, this is beyond all temptation.” - Love me to death.

Notes:

“Our record album” is so antiquated! Is it Lestat or Anne, out of touch? Anne wasn’t old when she wrote TVL, so maybe it is intentionally Lestat?

Louis knows Lestat seeks him when he drives Diivisadero Street (p522 & p527)

Vampire loneliness on p523 “I realized that I possessed a new concept of loneliness, a new method of measuring a silence that stretched to the end of the world. And all I had to interrupt it were those menacing recorded preternatural voices which carried no images as their virulency increased:”

Lestat wants to feel the love of an audience, from the adoring swathe. To be the God.

“My Louis” p523

“And at odd moments I remembered those long-ago nights at Renaud's little theatre too clearly. The strangest details came back, the feel of the white paint as I had smoothed it over my face, the smell of the powder, the instant of stepping before the footlights.” When I was 8 I was in Laurel’s ballet - a ballet written by a girl who’d once danced at the dancing school and tragically died young (I didn’t know her. I was only 8. She hadn’t been at the dancing school when I was there. I presume she must have died in her early 20’s and left the dancing school before I began when I was 2.) Anyway, I was the youngest group in the ballet - we were 8-18 and it was all about the sea. People played pearls, seahorses, the rainbow, the swirling waves, the sun…. But me? I was SEAWEED. To cap off the insult, most characters got a choreographed dance, but we just had to lie over rocks, still for the majority of the ballet then swirl about randomly for a moment. But we also wore one-shoulder, poo BROWN leotards with thick, hurts hard elastic in and with straggly bits of green dangling off them on and our entire face and arms and legs and shoulder were covered in green greasepaint. We did two shows some days and I can still smell that green greasepaint… which, is NOT easy to get off, may I add! Just, Lestat talking of his painted face brings that smell and feeling back to me, too.

“"I want to affect things, to make something happen!”” Is this the root of Lestat? Despite all in his mind, Lestat is a doer.

Salamander is hilarious. I hope they keep the name on TV.

The oyster shell swimming pool is so ’80’s.

I love how Lestat describes Louis is this part of the book, and seeing Jacob and Sam together as Louis and Lestat with this vibe is going to be so beautiful. I drew hearts all over the pages.

The embrace on page 526 reminded me of the S2E8 embrace?

“It was like taking pictures from the attic, cleaning away the dust and finding the colors still vibrant. And the pictures should have been portraits of dead ancestors and they were pictures of us.” - Such exquisite and evocative description. And “everything growing older, except us.” There’s a new sense of time for Lestat now.

Are you interested? Yes, you know I am… hehehehehe - this will be electricity.

I love Lestat feeling too much to be able to say he loves Louis.

“I didn't tell him about the mortal part, the vanity of wanting to perform, the eerie madness that had come over me when I saw myself on the television screen, saw my face on the album covers plastered to the windows of the North Beach record store.” We could ask Sam if he can relate to Lestat here?

P532 Louis tells Lestat he thinks he understands but does he really - just as Allessandra did in Les Innocents so long ago.

P533 - talk of evil to fit the age… how would a vampire fit in in 2025?

P536 Love the talk of coming back to each other… though likely doesn’t fit for TV in quite this way.

“the love I felt for him was positively humiliating.”

“The morning was too empty after he had gone.”

P536 - crazy that Lestat has never actually even been to a gig to watch! And it is interesting how he describes the experience of performing in such a religious-ritualistic way, that reminds me of Mael’s druid ceremonies and The Witches’ Place more than it reminds me of Renaud’s.

I’d forgotten how many scythes there are in the last section! How did they get them through security?!

Lestat and Louis both have the power to burn people on TV… not just Akasha, so some of this will be different.

I’m excited to see Gabrielle and Louis together! What does Louis think of Gabrielle? What does Louis understand of Lestat from meeting Gabrielle?

So interesting how you can feel the calm Akasha projects to Lestat and he alone.

“"That music of yours could wake the dead.”” Is such a Mum thing to say, haha!

“And I felt the voiceless cry rising out of me and traveling into oblivion. I could almost feel it traverse the world of visible proportions, feel it grow fainter and fainter, feel it burn out.” Gorgeously written!

I feel so bad for Marius at the end here. Though he also, once again, did play Lestat’s music to Akasha! I love the many repetitions of earlier phrases in this last section of the book - echoes through time.

“Alien, utterly foreign, yes.

But not uncivilized, no, not savage. She was not that. She was only just reawakened, my goddess, risen like a magnificent butterfly from its cocoon. And what was the world to her? How had she come to us? What was the state of her mind? Danger to all of us. No. I don't believe it! She had slain our enemies. She had come to us.” - lovely

The end is great as a TV series ending! Better than for a book!

“But I couldn't fight the drowsiness and heaviness any longer. Pure sensation was driving out all wonder and excitement. My body grew limp and helplessly still against the earth.

And then I felt a hand suddenly close on mine.

Cold as marble it was, and just about that strong.

My eyes snapped open in the darkness. The hand tightened its grip. A great mass of silken hair brushed my face. A cold arm moved across my chest.

Oh, please, my darling, my beautiful one, please! I wanted to say. But my eyes were closing! My lips wouldn't move. I was losing consciousness. The sun had risen above.”

I wonder how they will portray how Lestat feels towards Akasha on TV?

#interview with the vampire #anne rice #amc interview with the vampire #lestat de lioncourt #the vampire lestat #amc iwtv #iwtv amc #iwtv lestat #iwtv louis #louis de pointe du lac #gabrielle de lioncourt #loustat #the vampire louis

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theamityelf · 2 days ago

Note

What about the members of class 77? What if they were Kamukuras?

(Kamukura Wrangler AU Masterlist)

I'm glad you asked, because I do like to imagine that Nagito also gets tossed into a room with his Kamukurized classmates.

I'm imagining it happens long after Makoto meets his, because it would be weird for the scientists to start with Izuru (a Kamukura made from a talentless person), then make a batch of Kamukuras from Ultimates (already a potentially significant variable) and then vary it up again by giving those Ultimates a non-talented plaything.

How I'm imagining it plays out is, they made Izuru, they then made the 77th class into Kamukuras in the same way as Izuru (meaning, all isolated from each other with no human plaything), and then they made the 78th class as a more socialized version of the project, given each other for company and then Makoto for...I'm going to call it stress relief, lol.

After Makoto has had a while with the 78th class and changes have been seen as a result (positive and negative ones, in their eyes; they don't want the Kamukuras to be as emotional as some of them have become, but others of them have mainly just grown more agreeable or more motivated), they decide to try letting the 77th class Kamukuras socialize more. Not on the same scale as the 78th class, where they live together in a section of the labs and have a pet luckster, but maybe they get to visit each other, maybe Nagito is brought in to visit them individually, etc.

Quick overview:

Impostor- I think they might have fully lost him. Impostor is still in the labs, but you wouldn't know it. He hasn't been in his cell pretty much since they finished altering him. Sometimes he's impersonating one of the doctors, scientists, etc. Sometimes he's just straight hiding. They know he's around here somewhere, but they simply have no way to pin him down.

They do their best to make sure he can't get outside, wherever he is, but there are plenty of times where he has the opportunity to leave and just chooses not to. He's got to be sleeping somewhere, he's got to be eating something, he's got to be using the bathroom, but no one can ever catch him. They just sometimes find that half of their lunch was eaten from the faculty fridge, but there's no sign of him on the security cameras.

Teruteru- He submits to anyone's authority, always. All Kamukuras are meant to be receptive to command, to make them effective tools, and this shows in all of them to very different degrees. For Teruteru's part, he is indiscriminately ready to be used, so much so that it actually makes him useless. You can't trust a doctor who will do whatever anyone says. You certainly can't trust an assassin who would do whatever anyone says. They've decided that they can never let him out of his room and can only let a privileged few people around him. Nagito might not get to meet him.

Mahiru- Already got some characterization in the main Kamukuras AU.

In this scenario, she's very detached from Nagito and not especially interested in him, but she's willing to talk to him, and she'll avenge him if he's killed or Kamukurized.

Peko- Loyal to the Steering Committee, but knows she's smarter than them, so while she adopts their goals out of subservience to their will, she will disobey their immediate orders if she has a better idea. She doesn't consider herself or the other Kamukuras human in a meaningful way.

When Nagito is taken to meet her, she is 100% indifferent to him at first. She doesn't need to socialize or play or anything else. She's an instrument of the Steering Committee.

Hiyoko- She does not consider non-Kamukuras to be worth pretty much anything. Her long-term goal is to overthrow the scientists and let the lab be run by the Kamukuras. She doesn't particularly care about escaping the labs.

She calls Nagito worthless, when he's presented to her, but he agrees with her, and ultimately they're a dangerous pair. Hiyoko's plot to take over the labs is going to happen. (It can coincide with the 78th class's plot to flee the labs. One triggers the other; either the 78th class's escape gives the 77th class their chance to take over the labs, or the 77th class's takeover gives the 78th class their chance to escape. Izuru himself is somewhere in the mix, and who knows if all the 78th class makes it out.)

She also plans to make Nagito a Kamukura. She considers it a reward, an ascension for the human who knew his place. The others will stop her.

Ibuki- She's scratching the walls with her nails. She bites anyone who enters her cell. She speaks exclusively in a language that she made up. It has real syntactical rules and lots of false cognates to confuse people. (The other Kamukuras are able to figure out the rules of her language, if they're allowed around her.) Also sometimes she makes animal sounds. Her vibe is deliberately off-putting; the scientists are really unsettled by her. Scared, even. She laughs at them. The laughter creeps them out even more.

She's not interested in killing anyone, and won't. She actually likes to cuddle as much as she likes to bite. When Nagito visits her, he has to stay the night, because she won't let him go. After a few visits, she's willing to speak to him in Japanese every now and then. Not full conversations; just short warnings, like, "Watch your step," or commands, like, "More." (He's the one bringing most of them food, now, so maybe she's demanding larger portions. But he also eats with some of them, so she might be telling him to eat more.)

Mikan- She knows that she is a new person created from an existing person, and from this she reasons that she should be a baby. (Not quite literally, but something close.) So she analyzes people in silence, looking for someone to imprint on like a duckling on its mother. It might end up being a scientist, another Kamukura, a Steering Committee member, one of the lucksters. In the current setup, it could be Nagito, but if she waits long enough to have other options, then who's to say. It could just as easily be Izuru, Imposter, or even Sayaka. (Probably not Izuru, since he is focused on all of his successors, and she wants someone to be focused primarily on her. This is also why she might not choose Nagito.)

Once she decides who she will deliberately imprint on, she gives them her obedience and expects care in return. She'll be very clear about what specific ways she expects to be cared for; she'll directly say, "You need to tell me what to eat," or "You need to decide how my hair should look. I will let it grow until you tell me otherwise," or "You need to soothe me until I fall asleep. Do you want instructions as to how I am to be soothed?"

She will kill or maim, very casually, if it ever becomes necessary.

Nekomaru- Ngl, I feel like Nekomaru might die during the procedure, but assuming that doesn't happen, he aligns with Hiyoko. In-grouping hard. Kamukuras should band together and act in their own interest. He's protective of all Kamukuras, and it's more pragmatic than emotional, but it still causes him to act very loyally toward all the other Kamukuras. (He treats the lucksters as their pets, to whom he is indifferent but with whom he remains careful and protective.)

Unlike Hiyoko, this is purely an in-group thing; it has nothing to do with normal people being worthless. This means he doesn't care about which Kamukuras are more successful than others. Hiyoko would be very dismissive of someone like Taka; she would consider Taka a botched trial. Not as lowly as a normal person, but still a lesser Kamukura. Nekomaru doesn't feel that way. Any Kamukura is in the in-group.

Gundham- They don't know what to make of him. When they take him out of his cell, he's always staring at them and saying vague, ominous things. In his cell, he's often circling the space, trailing his fingers over the walls, or standing still in the middle of the room with his eyes closed. He usually ignores people when they walk in, whether they're bringing his food or sticking a needle in his neck.

At seemingly-random times, he actually reacts when someone walks in, instead of ignoring them. When he takes an interest in someone, he gets very close to them, examines them (like, lifting their arms and turning them around and generally handling them a lot like the scientists handle the Kamukuras), and perhaps sniffs them. This is how he treats Nagito the first time he visits. In subsequent visits, he usually ignores him. But he enjoys his company.

He's proficient in pressure points. And he's vicious when put in a position to defend himself or his interests. He feels some solidarity for other Kamukuras, but he's very solitary by nature. If pressed to express allegiance to anything or anyone, it would be Trial 1 (Izuru).

Chiaki- I just see her lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, reciting prime numbers or capitol cities from the moment she wakes up until she goes to sleep. It's a game. Legit, if you handed her a video game, she'd rather recite the hexadecimal color of each pixel than actually play it normally. Some of the scientists theorize that the video games are too easy for her; others theorize that she's using repetitive behaviors to self-soothe.

She won't kill anyone. She can't be made to do much of anything. She likes Nagito. He's good enrichment, and he feeds her.

Akane- She's silent and fluid. She's just in her cell doing weird contortions or dangling from the ceiling or both at the same time. She doesn't like to be touched; whenever someone tries to approach her, she slips through their fingers and settles in a different part of the room. When she eats, she's often hovering over the plate, doing one of those push-up handstands with just her forefingers.

The scientists (and Nagito, tbh) believe that she is more inclined to engage with her physical talents than her mental ones, because she doesn't talk to them or answer questions and she's always doing strange new things with her body, but really the contortions are just kind of a means of stimming, for her, while she reflects philosophically on everything and everyone. She doesn't find it natural to sit (or stand) still while she's thinking deeply.

She will very seldom speak, but when she does, her words are impactful. The first time she speaks to Nagito, after several visits in which she's said nothing, she will shatter a lot of what he believes to be true. (And he regrets underestimating her.)

She doesn't have any particular esteem for Kamukuras or talent. In her reflections, all of that stuff has stricken her as insignificant. She's as likely to kill a person as she is to kill a fly– which could be good news for flies or bad news for humans, depending on where her meditations have taken her. Probably just good news for flies.

Fuyuhiko- He has no esteem for Kamukuras as an end product. All he sees is an experiment that, in a just world, wouldn't have been done. It's not about the perversion of nature or any of the things Taka is disgusted by; Fuyuhiko is more focused on the established ethical rules that humanity claims to value. The regulations for human experimentation that were violated, the laws that were broken, etc. Mankind has been debating what should and should not be done for centuries, and when it comes down to it, no consensus they reach matters. The powerful will violate anything sacred. It's disgusting.

In the labs, he's very despondent and resigned. He's willing to talk to Nagito. He's resigned to the fact that Nagito will probably be killed at some point soon. He's not making a move of his own until something external changes– such as the other Kamukuras taking over the lab.

Once that happens, honestly, he might go a similar direction to Mahiru: a vigilante with a drive to fix what he thinks is wrong with the world. (Which could lead to a situation where Peko has to protect the Steering Committee from him.)

Kazuichi- His surface-level goal is to be a success in the scientist's eyes, and the Steering Committee's. To be excellent and useful. Deep down, he really wants to impress the original. Trial 1. Izuru Kamukura. He's always fixating on how his performance in the various tests compares to the original. He often thinks about whether Trial 1 notices when he improves. Does Trial 1 think about them? About him?

He has an initial interest in Nagito that he quickly discards when he learns that Trial 1 has not been given a luckster to socialize with. If Trial 1 doesn't need this, then neither does he. He will be their predecessor's equal.

Sonia- Similar to Peko, she is loyal to the Steering Committee while also aware that she's smarter than them. Unlike Peko, she does not adopt their goals as her own. She considers their goals to be as much a product of their flawed minds as their orders, so she acts how she thinks will actually benefit them most, not in accordance with what they think will benefit them.

So basically, if the Steering Committee were to say, "Do this thing so we can have this outcome," Peko would do a different, smarter thing to get the outcome, while Sonia would get them a different outcome that turns out to be better. Which could be a good thing for the world as a whole. Imagine someone telling Sonia to help them take over the world and she signs them up for therapy and fixes a gas leak in their house.

This isn't to say Sonia has an intrinsic sense of morality or emotion. What she thinks is best can be based on all kinds of things.

She is politely disinterested in Nagito.

#danganronpa #kamukura wrangler au #ultimate imposter #teruteru hanamura #peko pekoyama #mahiru koizumi #hiyoko saionji #ibuki mioda #mikan tsumiki #nekomaru nidai #gundham tanaka #chiaki nanami #akane owari #fuyuhiko kuzuryu #kazuichi soda #sonia nevermind #whole cast sdr2

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iamafictionfreak · 4 hours ago

Text

Hello, hello!!!

So… it’s been a while. I know I promised/offered/hoped for more of this. And... even though it’s been months, I've written the next part.

Not to be deceiving, but part 2 is literally episode 2 only of chapter 1. I'm going the way of Loaded march and posting oneshot's with a rough length of about 20, 000 words? Give or take 5000.

Ever read Footloose’s Loaded March? The Merthur fic to end all Merthur fics?

For those here who aren’t Merthur veterans – we hold weekend group therapy sessions, and depression Thursdays – Loaded March is a series of stories (16 in all) amounting to 1,261,720 words, which is mind boggling to me, and each story is never more than either a oneshot or a handful of chapters until you reach the end.

So, I’m doing that here. Highest form of flattery there is.

So, yep. Part 2 is written and it's around 20000 - Once it's edited I'll upload, very hopeful for a release by New year. Each episode will be the equivalent of a mini arc.

As with the above post, I’m aiming, if I actually manage to get there, to cover the rest of season 1 and leave it in a good place. It’s basically a retelling of the show, except with Arthur knowing Merlin’s secret, which changes everything. The juicy part is how this is investigated, developed and how it may or may not alter events as these two idiots progress.

Forewarning: don’t expect a light and fluffy time. Yes, I’m hoping it will be humorous. It’ll likely be dark at times, angsty. Painful. But the light is the key, and the relationship between Arthur and Merlin, the core. It’s, hopefully (pleasepleaseplease) full of adventure and truth and fun!

Unfortunately, Arthur, as you’ve seen, won’t immediately be buddy buddy with the personification of ‘evil’ that his father has raised him to want to destroy. We have a trained killer with a nobility made of steel and a heart as fragile as a bird’s. We have a soft and squishy peasant boy beholding the world's heart of gold, a primal gaze who is an unforeseen powerhouse with unlimited potential to grow into the most formidable man on the planet.

In the show, we see Merlin change over time, moving from servant to devotee of Arthur but kept very much isolated and shadowed. It leads to a very bittersweet end and a deeply fearful Merlin who should never have had to be. With said man knowing the truth, how does that change this growth. I’m not a fan of unearned progression so please don’t expect these two to become the best of friends in the space of 2 chapters.

In the show they fit all the definitions yet fit exactly none of them. They’re friends, except they’re not because their social status gets in the way. They’re devoted comrades, except they’re not because how can they be when such huge secrets stand between them. They’re each other’s protector, except neither really knew it nor understood what it meant. Arthur became Merlin’s purpose, and no one ever knew that heartbreakingly beautiful truth, so he couldn’t serve said purpose to his fullest potential. Arthur was never able to know what it was like to have someone like that by his side because even when he married Gwen, there was a piece if himself that he kept concealed. Watch season 5 and you’ll see what I mean and it’s because of that, that Gwen feels so alone at times.

The show held such potential. And luckily fan works aren’t limited by money or stereotypes or backwards thinking or, oddly enough, a yearning to thrown in a boatload of realism in the last half hour of a supremely unrealistic show.

This fic will not be halted or forced or rushed into romance of any kind. I have an issue with unearned progression. Natural chemistry leads to places yes, but people don't usually just fall in love and go with the flow.

The possibilities are delicious, won’t lie. If Arthur and Merlin had been allowed to ‘touch that’ in the show, the depth of it - the many layers it would have added - would have taken it in a very different direction, one that didn’t fit BBC goals at the time. Imagine all the S1/2 episodes with a bi Arthur. How that alone changes everything about it. Likewise, rewatch the episodes and imagine that it circles certain forbidden feelings and suddenly it’s so much more. I also won’t destroy existing love angles for the sake of something that I want more. No, it needs to feel natural. We’ll see what happens.

If you have questions, throw them at me, whether I answer them is another thing entirely.

I hope you’re all okay at the very least. It’s been a tough few years.

P.S I was going to wait until the third part was written as well, but the year has been hard; I've been sick, I've gotten a new far more stressful job and I've begun it question whether we really do exist within a 'matrix', so it feels right to post a sequel at christmas when merlin did everything to kill us once upon a time.

*not my gif*

In a Land of Christmas, and a Time of Fanfiction, There was an Irritated Woman in Dire Need of a Re-Write:

(gifs not mine - they're from @genyakosstyk)

So… I did it! I did exactly what I said I’d do here. I wrote the start of what could become a long-winded piece of diatribe focusing on how much Merlin the tv series could have healed us instead of hurt us.

I can’t tell if I’m overly ambitious, a little desperate (about anything and everything honestly) or just so done with 2023 and the crap-tastic news it generates. That and, I have this on repeat in my mental-space, which is more of a shed than a palace:

(gif from @punqueen13 )

So that's fun.

It’s forgivable to escape horror or fear or fatigue or guilt and grief by diving into fantasy. And is there anything more fantastical than merlin? Merlin and all the promise it brings. Is there any wonder why fics are still being churned out for a series that ended 11 years ago?

So here it is.

Part 1 of one. I’ve written a short, five chapter thing. It isn’t a prologue, it’s an intermission between episode 1 and 2 of season 1. The chapters are short for a reason, but I wanted to give a mix of both Arthur and Merlin povs so do let me know if they’re extremely out of character – I can handle a little ooc, especially given the nature of fanfic but if I can’t hear their voices in my head or see them as I read, I feel like I’ve failed.

I think I did ok?

The premise is simple:

Arthur sees Merlin, a peasant he had a brief altercation with, use magic to save his life. He should tell his father about. He should arrest Merlin.

He doesn’t. His honour being at risk, he allows Merlin to work for him on the proviso that he doesn’t use magic. Ever.

Except Arthur has questions he’s never been given the answers to. And Merlin is – odd. He’s nothing like what Arthur’s been told a sorcerer is and he makes it all too easy for Arthur to drop his guard around him.

Which- well, it must be magic, right?

His father, his attendants and tutors, have taught him about the manipulations of witchcraft and sorcery and how they can twist a man into feeling empathy for the wicked.

The problem is that Merlin isn’t exactly what he’d call wicked. Arthur trusts his own instincts and they’re telling him very different things to what the king decreed. He vows to watch over his new manservant. The moment he commits treason, he’ll run a sword through him.

And in the meantime, maybe – just maybe – he’ll find out for himself if a man who turns to evil, can’t turn back.

I’LL POST EACH CHAPTER WITHIN THE NEXT TWO WEEK SEASONAL PERIOD.

But.

There will then be a wait for part 2 – if anyone truly wants it, that is. And if not, hey. I had fun writing this.

Other bits and bobs and odds and sods:

Will there be romance?

Eventually! But I do wonder with who you mean? And this is first and foremost an experiment about how Merlin and Arthur could have been if what when how and why. If Arthur had Merlin's full trust and if Merlin was allowed past the walls Arthur had erected to keep even Gwen out, what could they have become?

Is it funny?

I HAVE NO IDEA. I truly hope so though, at east a little. There's some seriousness ahead to get through first though, Arthur isn't just going to jump into trust.

Will there be a lot of differences from season 1?

I aiming for exactly that.

How much trouble is Merlin in? More than season 1?

Ahem, have you seen the below man?

Merlin's in ALL the trouble. He just doesn't know yet that trouble is his home-spice.

#merlin #arthur pendragon #merlin fanfic

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youhavethesun · 4 months ago

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jess and rory s6 in her bedroom at her grandparents house,, I don’t know why I do this to myself but I just watched a clip of that scene and I have tears in my eyes. i’m not even saying this for exaggeration i’m genuinely tearing up.. I feel so nauseous like what we could have had !! they were both so happy to see each other. jess’ “you graduate already doogie?!” like he is so completely ready to be overjoyed for her and rory’s little speech about finding the subsect in bookstores and writing her own recommendation notes is just… I am beside myself at how happy they are around each other here :((((

#genuinely I think this is why s6 fix it fics are my fav #because they has so so much potential to be there for each other here #I know it’s a semi popular opinion that Jess is too good for Rory at this point but I completely disagree #like yes she’s made mistakes and she’s lost right now #but she IMMEDIATELY is so so supportive and proud of what Jess has accomplished #they bring that out in one another!!#literati #gilmore girls #jess mariano #rory gilmore #jess x rory #youhavethesun

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bixels · 7 months ago

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What did/do you like about Pharah?

Uh, gameplay-wise, I really love characters in shooters who rely on three-dimensional movement techs. Chaining together hover and jump to stay in the air for as long as possible and keep momentum is so satisfying, and picking enemies off from the sky made me feel like a bird of prey. I was a good Pharah main.

Story-wise, there unfortunately isn't much to canonically go off because Pharah is so underutilized and neglected. Her personality's pretty boilerplate "heroic hero" (she's literally inspired by Captain America).

But it's the crumbs/bits and pieces that I really latched onto. Pharah's a confirmed lesbian; her short story with Baptiste implies she harbors a crush on Mercy (fucking thank you.). She's biracial Egyptian/First Nations. She has major mommy issues, having grown up both admiring and resenting Ana. She's the bridge between Old Overwatch, inspired by the idealized heroes who surrounded her childhood, and New Overwatch. She's one of the only inter-generational characters in the cast; someone whose experiences span the gap, which is why I seriously believe Pharah would make a great main character.

There isn't much to go off of, though; she's a very uncomplicated character (she's a soldier for a private military corporation, lol.). But that just means she's a blank slate character, so I've seen fanfic writers run wild and create some really interesting takes on her. My favorite interpretation of her's a dense, herbo gym-bro type (a lot of her liens are about work outs, exercising, and playing sports) who's easily excitable under her seemingly self-serious, armored visage. We see how she tends to gloat and hype herself up when she's on a streak too, so Pharah definitely has a competitive and boastful side under her more professional and militant performance.

Now Mercy? Mercy is a real complex character.

#i was a diehard pharmercy shipper back then btw #the inherent homoerotic experience of pharmercy gameplay.#the homoerotic experience of looking to the skies to fly to safety under the protection of your knight in shining armor #the homoerotic experience of feeling white hot murderous rage at an enemy trying to pick off your pocket mercy #i still kinda despise gency lmao. you cannot convince me mercy would be in love with genji. at all.#he'd make her feel so uncomfortable and guilty. in my head. the canon is obviously different #gency is sexless. absolutely zero bite or tension.#i could go on about mercy and how her character has so much missed potential #i'm no longer in my overwatch fandom phase but #i still think about that new flirty line they added in ow2 where mercy goes “ahh you're like my knight in shining armor!”#and pharah goes “that's what i'm goin for ;)” and i sigh dreamily #really happy that pharah outright says she's a lesbian too but it's hard to feel good about rep when you know blizzard uses it for pr #to be honest i'm willing to bet cash that blizzard's keeping pharmercy in their back pocket as ammo for the next controversy #last year we already saw logs about pharah fretting and taking care of mercy and the two talking about how good it is to see each other #tbh pharah has the same energy/demeanor as applejack. cheerful and competitive in a can of whoopass #but yeah overall pharah's a pretty shallow character. i have IDEAS on how i'd go about deepening her but. whatever #that's sorta what happens when you have to juggle a cast of 40 characters. a lot get left with the bare minimum #ok so i wrote this entire post up saying that pharah isn't in ow2's storymode when she is. she's in the story i just. forgot #because she doesn't do or contribute anything interesting #ok i'm stopping here. overwatch's story is such an interesting narrative mess i could go on for hours #i dunno how you come up with such incredible character designs and give them such an unincredible story #it's also so so so interesting seeing the conflicting takes on characters the writers have #mercy in gameplay and voicelines is peppy and cheerful and optimistic #but mercy in the storymode journal logs is tired. jaded. a total shut in who forgets to leave her room and social #and YES! THAT'S WHAT I WANT!!! THAT'S MERCY TO ME!!! THE DOCTOR WHO FORGETS TO TAKE CARE OF HERSELF #ask me #anon

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tenwhiteandalusians · 5 months ago

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so no one was going to tell me if i got literally one episode further tenax drops that he’s the one who saved scorpus from his mom’s pimp AND that he’s intimately familiar with scorpus’ dick when he was younger. guys. guys.

#thinking about an INSANE divorce fic. as a follow-up to the 30k canon-compliant backstory i have not written #(really it could be an au of that because like. am i sentimental and would i want them to get emotionally divorced NO but i will get into #the variants of this later i have to tell you about them ACTUALLY divorced first before i get into the hot divorcee energy of it all)#where they fucked around when they were younger and then broke up because. yeah tenax can dream but scorpus needs certainty he is what he #is he wants attention and dignity and when blue offers for him he goes and we don’t need to know what the massive fight was but we DO need #to know that they stopped fucking and maybe they stopped talking too but now they’re Colleagues. putting the ‘because i can’ moment #into a WHOLE different light bc it’s very much a ‘you no longer have a say in who I get to fuck because it’s not YOU. because we’re not’#and thus we get an exes-to-lovers arc I still know you the best and yes I SEE the scorpus xenon andria potential & once again I am saying:#put that in a box we can’t talk about that right now I see it but that’s not what we’re here for. anyway I was TRYING to say the ‘I know u #best of anyone’ of it all and if you think I have stopped thinking about tenax goading scorpus & talking about his dick for a single second #I have not. I REALLY have not because that is top tier blatant manipulation to be like ohhhh poor baby you’re so old and rotting I can just #get a new chariot driver I don’t even really want you anyway 😇 and scorpus KNOWS It’s bait however. he’s gotta get his attention back.#anyway they are ugly divorced and it’s very slow burn but I know exactly how you taste & what buttons to press & how to grip your shoulders #in an argument until they fuck nasty on all of their riches or however this thing ends. not well for anyone but I WILL be getting them back #together. the other fun little big divorced energy thoughts i had were very much ‘divorced and arguing but it’s foreplay to threaten to #leave each other’ so they can have hot aggressive mean sex because they get off on arguing with each other. everybody in the stables starts #to see them arguing about chariot design & the brothers are scared they’re gonna kill each other & then suddenly scorpus is tongue-fucking #Tenax’s throat with a fist still in his hair and tenax has a hand pinning him back against the post by the throat and that’s all they see #before everybody clears the FUCK out. this is a regular occurrence at all times in all arguments it’s so fun I love the dynamic #OHHHH AND IT’S AN OUTSIDER POV FIC i said the brothers really i meant elia but also now that i say that. could be a fun five + 1 of #everyone watching them threaten to kill each other and then y’know. la petit mort. ALSO i know i see the calla/tenax too we can’t talk abt #that put it in the box with the chariot drivers we can have one (1) thing at a time. the calla note is because i want a calla pov of them #where she’s just like ‘freaks. right in front of my salad?’ and does not give a fuck at all. top tier. anyway. andria/elia/calla/domitian #(Domitian seeing them petition him would be so fun because he wants to puppet master everything he’d want to know SO BAD.) the 5th one idk #because I don’t have any idea about the third brother yet but maybe Tenax catching scorpus in a brothel again? and the +1 is their POV ofc.#(anyway for myself: the vibes i want here are geno/anna cat and mouse follow/unfollow divorce and win her back rumors)#scorpus/tenax #those about to die #scorpus #tenax

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mymarifae · 7 months ago

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does anyone want to join me on the aventurine/argenti train. it's got all the perks of being as funny as any other argenti ship - especially given the random absurdity of their first meeting. what the hell was argenti doing in the depths of the nihility? who even knows anymore man. but like also i think it has the potential to be really sweet?

aventurine hasn't let anyone In since his sister died. he's long since forgotten how to Trust, and Love, and how to BE Loved. and this, combined with enormous amounts of survivor's guilt and trauma and being treated as an object, has really done a number on his self-esteem. he doesn't act like it (because he's learned that it's dangerous to be vulnerable; it's the one gamble he's not willing to take), but 2.1 gave us that glimpse into his inner dialogue and it is Bad in there

between his conversation with acheron, the note veritas left for him, and finding a sense of closure in the apparition of his younger self, he's on track to becoming better. we can see it in the way he pretty much immediately reaches out to the trailblazer to get some things off his chest once he gets his phone working again. and the way he's accepting what is basically a form of therapy from the doctors of chaos. but his self-hatred has been building up for years, and it's going to take a long time to unpack and unlearn all of that

so like, in comes argenti, right? he's a loud show-off, but he is SO earnest. he sees the beauty in everything and everyone. he's kind, and gentle, and so full of love. he also comes off as a bit... lonely to me? he's spent so much of his life chasing after idrila's shadow, and only catching a glimpse of them in his many near-death experiences (and isn't that something to think about...........). he's not like, secretly miserable or faking or anything - i think his exuberance is 1000% genuine. but humans are social creatures; everyone wants and requires at least some form of closeness and intimacy. to have a love to pursue in This realm... someone he can see and hold without needing to have one foot in an early grave . i think that would be good for him. that's all

anyway, it's clear that argenti was pretty enchanted by aventurine

like yeah that's kind of just how he talks normally but !?@,%&#& that's a lot of awfully romantic things to say about one specific person out of the several you apparently rescued (??????? god i love this guy he makes no sense. literally why are you even here bud). it seems that aventurine's more subdued state left an impression on him too, and well wouldn't it be pretty in character for him to start popping in randomly... as he does, because he can apparently just go wherever the fuck he wants. to check on this sad yet oh so beautiful peacock.. to try to bring a true smile to his face... to show him how kind and beautiful the universe can be......

i think aventurine might have a hard time laughing off offers of comfort and company and the beginnings of a courtship if it comes from someone like argenti. this man couldn't be disingenuous if he tried. he doesn't wear his heart on his sleeve as much as he rips it out of his chest to show you. it'll be a learning curve regardless - aventurine is too used to needing to constantly prove his worth to keep anyone around and to keep them from hurting him

but do you see it. do you see the vision. do you see how Sweet this could be. aventurine is about to receive more roses than he'll know what to do with

#i spent enough time on this that i think i can...#honkai star rail #argenti #aventurine #aventi... argenturinenope i hate this one actually #avegenti. dude i don't know don't ask me i'm just the messenger #like can i just say that what most ratiorine shippers are trying to squeeze out of that would be better found Here.#i don't mind the ship as much as i used to. veritas is kinder than i gave him credit for. i can even enjoy it if done right #but like #? veritas may be kinder than i originally thought but he's not that kind.#he's harsh truths and tough love. he started to soften after aventurine's unexpected death sentence and he has the potential to soften more #but guys i don't think a ratiorine relationship that takes place so soon after the events of penacony or god forbid BEFORE-#is going to go that smoothly #veritas has his head pretty deep in his own ass. it's going to take him a bit to get that out #he's more likely to hurt aventurine and send him right back into his defensive shell than he is to actually help him along his recovery #and/or aventurine is likely to dismiss any of his attempts to be more forthcoming with his feelings because of his perceived dislike for hi #and just how their working relationship always was Before #if you want to talk about that and the messy struggle to be better for each other after they stomp all over the other's heart #i'm all ears man.#but if you want something that's softer from start to finish and not so stressful... listen to me. argenti and aventurine is where that's a #i think both options are appealing tbh? in their own ways

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