#because there must be something going on with you at a deeper level

[genericpuff]

Pretty much recovered, still got a bit of congestion and an on-and-off cough but well enough to be back in working order. Wish I could say everything else is on the upswing but uh... nah, the state of everything going on right now is undeniably garbage.

But we press on. We must.

To all my American friends and viewers, please, hang in there. Keep fighting. Despair is a deep and dark pit to fall into, and incredibly hard to crawl out the deeper you fall, but there are others all around you making the climb and offering you helping hands. You just have to keep climbing. What you're climbing towards can be as grand as seeing the fall of this new legislation, or as small as watching the third Sonic movie when it comes out. Whatever it is, keep it in your sights, and keep pressing forward.

I don't normally share much in terms of politics around here as I personally like to keep a space that's free of political discourse for the sake of viewers who are looking for an escape from the nightmares of the real world. That said, I'll be reblogging some great posts over the next few days that sum up better than I ever could the steps you can be taking both to protect yourself and to fight back. I hope they can give you knowledge and confidence in the journey ahead.

This isn't the first time America's found itself in the grips of white supremacy and fascism, and it's not going to be the last - the cost of freedom is constant vigilance.

If you're reading this in the swarm of posts amidst the doomscrolling - please, give yourself the grace to protect your peace. Yes, many will call it a privilege to be able to just 'log off' and not look at the news, and to an extent, I agree with the sentiment of that statement; it is still something you should do if you have the opportunity to do so. The 24 hour news cycle is designed to wear us down, make us feel helpless, give us the sense that the world is "over" when it still exists all around us and can still be saved - we can't fight this fight if we're burnt out and miserable, and that's by design.

So please, take care of yourself. Resist the urge to doomscroll. Don't allow yourself to get sucked into rage-bait arguments with trolls on the Internet, your pain is their gain. Drink lots of water. Sleep. Rest. Watch your favorite comfort shows. Reach out to your communities, both online and local. Build and nurture your support networks. Ask for help from those who are able to offer it; pass it forward to the next person seeking help when you can. Look to your local legislation, get yourself out there, whether it's volunteering, rallying, protesting, whatever you can do to get yourself involved in your community because it's on an individual level that change begins.

Worrying is a drug that impedes progress and destroys lives. None of us are immune to despair - but we are all above it, so long as we keep fighting to find the strength to overcome it. Forgo despair for hope. Forgo despair for resilience. Forgo despair for resolve.

Keep breathing. Keep living. Keep fighting.

Kesalul.

[drinkurkombucha]

Arrogance doesn’t look good on you. You think your are shit hot but your writing is trash and that’s on fact.

*you are. As in, you are welcome, anon, for the free editing service x.

[dalishious]

About Davrin's little blurb on the official website for Dragon Age: The Veilguard...

"Though he was raised in a Dalish clan, he craved excitement and adventure. He'd rather make history than reflect on it."

There's actually a lot to unpack about these two sentences.

First off, placing the word "though" in front of being "raised in a Dalish clan", gives such a thing a negative connotation. The word "though" is used in a way that sounds like "despite", as in, somehow wanting excitement and adventure must go against being Dalish. This correlates with sentence that follows. "He'd rather make history than reflect on it." The word "rather" is yet again used to separate Davrin from his Dalish origin. All together, this promotional description of Davrin is insisting that he is "not like other Dalish".

Now, obviously the game is not out yet, so we do not have total confirmation on what the nature of Davrin's relationship to his culture is really like. But there is absolutely something to be said about promoting the character this way, regardless of however he actually turns out in game. There is absolutely something to be said about how, as @/the-eldritch-it-gay put in their tags here, why do writers feel the need to make fantasy minorities hate or distance themselves from their culture? As a selling point?

Maybe this is completely misleading bullshit, maybe it isn't. All we have to go by, is what BioWare chose to say here, and their past track record with elves:

Zevran may talk about his mother in a font way, but he still has the line, "Too many of our kind think we deserve pity simply because we have failed to defend ourselves."

Velanna is one of the two elves we've had who is overtly proud of her culture, yet she is treated like she is unreasonable and too angry because of it.

Merrill too, is proud of being an elf, and of being Dalish. The story punishes her left and right for this, treats her like a child, and in the end she is either ostracized from her clan or they end up dead because... she cared too much?

Fenris has pretty much zero engagement with elven cultures, and spends his time ridiculing Merrill for being proud of hers.

Solas complains about the Dalish from the start, and says plainly that he does not see himself as having anything in common with elves of current time. "Oh, you mean elves" he says, when the Inquisitor asks how he feels about his people; the thought does not even occur to him.

Sera is... Sera is a character who could have been a really interesting examination of overcoming internalized racism, if she was written by someone competent with the subject. Instead, she just cringes at everything "too elfy" through the entire main game, and only has a single line in Trespasser that hints that she may have a personal struggle going on. But it's still left unresolved.

That's a lot a lot of negativity. So of course seeing a suggestion that more is to come with Davrin has people wary and tired.

Let us also consider the fact that Davrin is overtly Black as well, and what that means. Acting as if one must disregard history in order to make it, as his description so claims, is bullshit. It sounds too much like promoting gentrification/assimilation in my opinion; the idea that you cannot keep your culture if you want to be successful.

I also think that it goes even deeper, on a meta level - I think that BioWare is afraid people will not be able to like or relate to Davrin, if he is "too ethnic". I think that BioWare is taking this Black character and instead of questioning how he can best represent marginalized fans - particularly Black fans - they are questioning how to make him more relatable to white fans. And the only answer to that is to, of course, make him seem like he is an exception to marginalization through separating him from his people.

I am still holding onto hope that Davrin will overall be an interesting, well-written character. And I sure as hell will still be defending him from the people who are already hating on him or ignoring him completely because of their racialized biases. But that does not exempt BioWare, and specifically his writer, John Dombrow, from any criticism. This is not about Davrin the character, this is about BioWare the company's handling of Davrin the character. And in that regard, they're not off to a great start with this.

[ashherahh]

your next major relationship

Note: Please take it if it resonates, leave it if it doesn't. Meditate before making your decision. It's completely okay if you don't resonate with this reading. The collective is huge and I'm sure you'll receive the messages you need in due time.

pile 1

Cards: Seven of Wands, The Fool Rx, Five of Pentacles, Two of Cups Rx.

You're very close to achieving your goal.

Luck is on your side.

I am surprised that you actually still believe in relationships and love after the absolute shit shows of the past. You must feel like the most unlucky person when it comes to love.

Past relationships always brought out this kind of cold war with you and your partner, as though you were always at odds with your partners. Part of you felt like you were the problem for the longest time because you know, common denominator but upon more reflection, you've come to terms with the fact that you were asking the wrong people for what you need.

Those experiences hardened you. I'm seeing that it'll bleed into this next relationship to a certain degree. Your next relationship will heal a lot of those wounds of the past. You'll go from someone who always finds themselves explaining themselves and having that turn into a fight, to someone who no longer has to worry about being misunderstood.

When the cards first popped out, the messages were quite clear. Past relationships may influence your next major one, but you can always turn that around. You literally have luck on your side, your next major relationship is going to be a good one if you let it.

Love requires trust, and that might be the most difficult thing for you now but it'll be worth it.

pile 2

Cards: Two of Pentacles Rx, Two of Cups, Nine of Pentacles, Knight of Pentacles Rx.

The answers you need are coming.

A time for healing.

You build something in your next relationship. Possibilities are endless, but it'll definitely redefine how you see yourself and your life. It's a leveling up in life.

Gone are the days of feeling uncertain and uncomfortable about making decisions about your life. This next major relationship kicks everything into gear, an inspiration is birthed from this union that brings you closer and closer to the life you've always dreamed of living.

It'll come in suddem but it'll last. This is a relationship you'll have for years and years, this person will be around and see you through so many phases of life.

Maybe you have some planets in the 7th house or some of them are in Libra. Those placements usually thrive in partnerships because it acts as a reflection, it helps them delve deeper. Even if you don't have those placements, that is what this relationship will be.

This will truly be a beautiful partnership. One that is filled with mutual trust and love and ways of thinking. It'll be one that is so understanding and deep. This is someone you can truly be yourself with.

pile 3

Cards: Strength, Five of Wands, The Emperor, The Moon.

Believe in the impossible.

Balance spirituality and practicality.

This will hit you like a freight train. No one truly expects to meet someone who will become an integral part of their life, it usually builds slowly over time. Not this person though, you'll know when you meet this person. It'll be so immediate and in your face, you won't be able to deny the importance this person will have going forward.

Your connection will feel surreal at times. It's giving Edward and Bella. Get a room, honestly. The emotions are big in this relationship, it's very intense. But it's the kind of partnership that is strong through all trials and tribulations.

You know you can depend on this person no matter what you face, they are solid and strong. Their strength gives you strength in a way.

This next major relationship really exhances who you are. It influences you in a way that solifies your character and who you are. The relationship is quite balanced, giving and receiving is done in great degrees and in your own unique ways.

This is not the kind of relationship you lose yourself in at all. Individualism is respected by both you and your partner.

[flowersdiceandlove]

Svsss au where Shen Qingqiu’s female. Shen Yuan is still male though. When he transmigrates into SQQ he freaks out not only because he’s the scum villain but also because he’s a girl now. Where is his dick?!? Airplane, you hack, give me my dick back!!!

LBH’s still a guy and everyone else is the same gender too. It’s just SQQ that has the genderbend. And Shen Qingqiu stews over the fact that not only is he a scum villain and a girl, he's the only woman in PIDW that actually gets a bad end and not just tossed into the harem because Shen Qingqiu was just that bad of a scum villain that not even Luo Binghe, stallion protagonist, husband of hundreds of wives, wants to seduce and papapa her into submission like he did with so many other villainess beauties. And it's not the beauty that's the problem. Shen Qingqiu is beautiful. Like an immortal fairy descended from misty peaks to grace the mortal world. Just the type to fit into the harem. So, it really is a testament to how much Luo Binghe hated her that he tortured and killed her instead.

During the three years of LBH in the abyss, SQQ finds a plant or smth that can turn him into a man. So he eats it or whatever. Then, bam. Male Shen Qingqiu.

Fast forward to Jinlan City and Shen Qingqiu and Luo Binghe meeting again. Luo Binghe freezes and his eyes rack up and down Shen Qingqiu’s form, over his face and repeating the process a few times before stuttering out a very choked and strangled “Sh—Shizun?” Because just did Shen Qingqiu get hotter as a man?!?! (He didn’t but Luo Binghe didn’t know about his transformation and going through the shock of it and a gay panic at the same time. And they’re really close together so he can see all the small changes that are making Shen Qingqiu more masculine instead of feminine.)

“Luo Binghe,” Shen Qingqiu replies, flicking his fan open, his voice cool and even. And Luo Binghe chokes, wheezing out a breath at hearing not only Shen Qingqiu’s deeper, masculine voice for the first time, but that voice saying his name. Send help, this boy is not doing well.

He opens and closes his mouth a few times, struggling for something, anything to say.

"Uh..Um.. Sh-Shizun looks...nice," he eventually says, feeling like an absolute idiot! Of course, Shizun looks nice!!

"...As does Luo Binghe," Shen Qingqiu replies, feeling out of depth because Binghe is two years yearly, and why is he acting so weird? Shen Qingqiu's trying to find Luo Binghe's angle for this weird behavior. Is he playing the traumatized victim of the scum villain teacher? But, if he is, this behavior doesn't seem quite right for it... "Binghe has certainly grown more into himself," he decides to add. More compliments can't be bad, right?

And Luo Binghe's brain short circuits again because Shizun just said he looked nice!!

He lets out a high pitched squeak. Shen Qingqiu is horrified, wondering what is wrong with Luo Binghe. Why is his face so red? And his eyes are shifting around erratically, not focussing on anything. (Luo Binghe can't keep his eyes on Shen Qingqiu--he's to handsome to look at--but also can't look away from him. Seriously, he is struggling bad. Gay Panic: 3, Luo Binghe: 0)

Seeing Luo Binghe continue to look bright red, act weird, and his face look kinda contorted honestly, is making Shen Qingqiu worried about him and his eyes land on Xin Mo. Ah. Xin Mo must be affecting him!! Shen Qingqiu thinks, and calms some at knowing what's wrong. Then that calm is replaced by panic, because Luo Binghe effected by Xin Mo is never a good thing. See, Binghe! This is what happens when you rush your leveling up arc!!

Without thinking, Shen Qingqiu steps forward and lifts his hand to feel Binghe's forehead. Just as he thought. Binghe's burning up. Shen Qingqiu frowns and hums. Luo Binghe goes a bit cross-eyed and his face heats up even more at Shizun touching him. He get's a bit dizzy from it and sways on his feet. Shen Qingqiu's eyes widen at this and reaches his hands out to gab at Luo Binghe's upper arms, stabilizing him. At this, Luo Binghe lets out a high and quite whine in the back of his throat. Shen Qingqiu is very worried now.

Keeping Luo Binghe supported in his grasp, he looks around at the gathered Huan Hua Palace disciples, wondering why one of the girls here isn't rushing to help Binghe. That's what you're here for!! he thinks scowling, then barks out orders at them to find a room for Binghe to lie down in. While they don't really want to take orders from him, they do and find a room. In Shen Qingqiu's ordering, he calls LBH "Binghe" not "Luo Binghe" and it's not helping Luo Binghe regain brain functions.

"Come on, Binghe," Shen Qingqiu whispers to him, ushering him towards the room, "right this way. Can you walk or do you need this master to carry you?" Luo Binghe just whimpers which only worries Shen Qingqiu further and he hurries Luo Binghe to the room faster. Once there, he settles Luo Binghe on the bed. In all his worry, he's fallen back into Protective Shizun Mode that cares for his sick disciples (or Mommy Mode if you prefer). So, he orders the Huan Hua Palace disciples to get water and a cloth and lays the cool towel on Binghe's forehead who's just staring up at Shen Qingqiu with wide eyes. "Shhhh...It's okay, Binghe, you're okay..." he murmurs and Binghe whimpers again, needing to close his eyes. He thought Shizun hated him and thought he was a monster to be put down, but here he was caring for Binghe so sweetly and gently, his touches soft and whispering reassurances to him.

Shen Qingqiu continues to hover over him replacing the cloth when it grew warm, brushing his hair out of his face, patting and stroking his head gentle, and transferring qi to him to try and sooth the effects of Xin Mo. While this little...bout...wasn't brought on by Xin Mo, the sword is still effecting Binghe to at least some degree, so Shen Qingqiu is mitigating that effect. Luo Binghe can only lay there, helpless against the effects of his Shizun and soaking in his affection.

The System kept on giving Shen Qingqiu point increase updates, but they got so frequent that they were annoying and distracting, so he muted them. Shen Qingqiu has however clocked that him pampering Binghe like this and caring for him in such a difficult time is helping his situation and he's hopeful he won't be turned into a human stick as soon as Binghe regains his strength.

One of the Huan Hua Palace meimeis finally can't take it anymore and steps forward, "I can do that. No need for Peak Lord Shen to trouble himself," she says, barely able to hold the vitriol in her voice back. Shen Qingqiu knows his queue when he sees it (at least he thinks he does) and nods gracefully, rising from his seat beside the bed to let her sit in his place. The girl looks smug for only one moment before Shen Qingqiu stops and looks back down at Luo Binghe. He had reached out and grabbed onto Shen Qingqiu's sleeve.

"Shizun, don't leave me," he whispers so soft and broken sounding. He's utterly wrecked by the amount of emotions that have been surging in him, first from the gay panic and then Shen Qingqiu pampering him when he thought he was hated. (Xin Mo wasn't helping either.) And, Shen Qingqiu's heart just cracks at how vulnerable and broken he sounds and the teary look in his eyes, and just plops back down in the chair, grasping Luo Binghe's hand, not breaking eye contact.

"I won't. Shizun won't go anywhere, Binghe, okay?" he says without thinking. Luo Binghe nods and hums, a couple tears slipping from the corners of his eyes. Shen Qingqiu reaches out to wipe them away with his sleeve, one hand still firmly holding Luo Binghe's hand. And, while he hadn't thought before sitting back down or speaking, he can't bring himself to take his words back. Not when Luo Binghe is like this. He clearly needs someone to care for him, and for some reason he wants that person to be Shen Qingqiu. And, who is Shen Qingqiu to deny the protagonist what he wants? And his little disciple at that? While he knows that Luo Binghe is supposed to be blackened right now, when he looks at him, all Shen Qingqiu can see is his little disciple wanting his Shizun.

The Huan Hua Palace girl, though, not wanting to give up just yet, steps forward once more, determined, "Really, I--"

But she's cut off by Luo Binghe growling at her lowly and giving her a harsh glare. She's shocked still by it, her eyes widening and face paling.

On instinct, and so caught up in nostalgia, Shen Qingqiu snacks Luo Binghe's head and glares at him, "Don't growl at her. I taught you better than that."

Luo Binghe looks up at him with wide eyes like a child caught misbehaving, then mumbles demurely, "This disciple is sorry. He won't do it again."

And that shocks Shen Qingqiu out of his nostalgia and he realizes he just smacked. Luo Binghe. The post-abyss Luo Binghe. And scolded him like he was still his teacher and not a scum villain. Terror racing through him, Shen Qingqiu gently pats and soothes Binghe's head, saying sweetly, "Ah, no, it's okay. Binghe needn't apologize, he can growl all he wants." Hopefully that'll do it, he thinks while he continues to pat Binghe's head and fluffy hair. Luo Binghe just stares at him with wide eyes again, his face heating again as well. Then Shen Qingqiu starts fussing over him again and his red face, the girl forgotten. "Ah, is Binghe's fever back? Just lie still. Hey you there--get more water!" then turning back to Binghe and transferring more qi.

Luo Binghe continues to KOed by Shen Qingqiu until he's nothing more than the whimpering, sticky little disciple Shen Qingqiu remembers him to be. just with claws and a demon mark and red eyes and powerful demonic qi. and an evil sword. But still Binghe!! His sweet little bun that just wants his Shizun. (Binghe gets rid of the evil sword when Shen Qingqiu expresses his dislike on how negatively it's effecting him.) And, if Binghe wants his Shizun, then how can Shen Qingqiu deny him that?

[littlexdeaths]

eddie munson x plus size reader

warnings: angst, allusions to smut, major body insecurities, troubles orgasming due to said insecurities, eddie is so incredibly sweet, oral (fem receiving)

a/n: this started out as just a little angsty thing cause i was in my feelings, but it quickly spiraled into something more. while i feel a little nervous sharing it because it directly mirrors my own experience with intimacy issues and self esteem, i hope it can maybe help someone who has felt this same way <3

“— just stop, eds. it’s clearly not gonna happen.”

he can hear the disappointment in your voice as you tug his hand out of your panties. willing away the tears that threaten to spill past your lash line.

you swear something’s wrong with you.

he’s been at this for well over an hour, having to take multiple breaks from when his fingers started to cramp up. your clit feels almost raw, yet numb to the touch. the constant circles he was rubbing against it left you with nothing but discomfort.

“sweetheart—” he whispers, brushing your hair back from your face.

but you quickly bury your face into the pillow, the sheer humiliation makes you wish the ground would open up and swallow you whole. you already know what he’s going to say, he’s said it more times than you can count.

“save it, please. i don’t want your pity,” your words are slightly muffled, but he hears them loud and clear.

so he stays silent, keeping his chest pressed into your back. he rubs soothing circles over the curve of your hip while you soak his pillow with your tears. each silent shake of your shoulders twists the knife deeper into his gut.

why he hasn’t left is beyond you— anyone else would have.

not only is he stuck with a girlfriend who can’t take her clothes off in front of him, he’s stuck with one who can’t finish either. you can’t imagine how frustrating that must be.

“why are you even still here?” you sniffle, feeling his body stiffen behind you. “this can’t be fun for you.”

he doesn’t answer you, instead moving from his position behind you to roll you onto your back before he slots himself between your thick thighs. and even in the dark of his room you can see how your words have upset him.

“— i’m here because i love you.” he asserts, calloused fingers catching your chin to keep your gaze level with his. “i stay despite how much you continually try to push me away, because you’re everything to me.”

and he catches some more tears that trickle down your cheeks with his thumb. he unintentionally swipes them over your lips and they taste almost bitter on your tongue when you take a shuddering breath in.

“i just.. i feel like this is too good to be true— that you’re too good to be true.” you voice is barely above a whisper now, “that once you see everything… you’ll change your mind.”

his eyes slip shut and an almost painful look crosses over his features.

“baby,” he sighs, carefully taking your hand to guide it up his bare torso. you can feel the uneven flesh beneath your fingertips, a reminder that you almost lost him not so long ago. “you could grow a third head and sprout a tail and i would love you just the same.”

that image has you giggling softly, the sound causing his eyes to flutter back open. eddie grins down at you, bringing your hand up to press a gentle kiss to the back of it.

“there’s my girl,” he hums.

and despite the worry that still lingers in the back of your head, your body automatically reacts to his gentle words. you shift your hips beneath his own, now acutely aware of how uncomfortable the damp cotton feels against your skin.

eddie can see that spark of need return to your eyes, his head tilting down to nudge your nose with his own. he inhales your soft gasp when he carefully presses his hips down into yours.

“can i try something? if you don’t like it, i promise we can stop.”

he waits before making another move, lips hovering over yours until he hears your soft confirmation. then he starts to descend lower.

his lips press against the cotton of your sleep shirt, across the soft pudge of your belly. and you hold you breath when his fingers graze over the hem of it, slowly beginning to push it up your plush thighs.

“eddie i—”

he must hear the alarm in your voice as he stops, warm eyes gazing up at you from where he’s positioned between your legs.

“do you want me to stop?” he asks.

the small shake of your head encourages him to continue, pushing the shirt up only until he can see the outline of your panties.

“we’ll keep this on, okay?” he motions to your shirt.

“okay,” you breathe.

you feel your body is on fire, every nerve ending like a live wire. and you practically jolt when you feel his lips press against your damp underwear, his tongue licking a slow stripe between your clothed folds.

“oh,” you sigh and you can feel his deep chuckle rumble against your core.

so he does it again, enjoying the breathy whine that tumbles past your lips. eddie’s fingers slide up your thighs, sneaking underneath the elastic of your underwear as he continues his actions. going slow enough to get you used to the feeling, but firm enough so you feel each drag of his tongue.

after your first failed attempt from earlier you feel ravenous, now bucking your hips up against his mouth. and your boyfriend seems to get the hint.

“you want them off, sweetheart?”

and you nod almost frantically, any feelings of insecurity pushed to the wayside as your desire slams back into you at full force.

not needing to be told again, eddie carefully guides the fabric down your thighs. tossing them next to you on the bed before he coaxes your legs to rest on his shoulders. even in the dark he can see the curly hairs that cover your mound and the sticky strings of desire when he guides your folds apart with his fingers.

you hear a soft curse leave his mouth, his hair tickling your inner thighs when he leans down further to guide his tongue through your slick.

“so fuckin’ pretty, baby.” he coos.

you gasp aloud at the sensation when the muscle delves deeper, dipping inside your entrance before dragging more slick up to your sensitive nub.

everything feels more heightened like this— more intimate. and you swear you’re more in love with him now than you ever been.

so you let your body sink further into the mattress while he tastes you properly for the first time. his own hips rutting against the bed in tandem with each glide of his tongue. the noises he’s making are downright filthy, the vibrations only aiding in bringing you closer to that release.

it’s right within your grasp, all you have to do is reach out and take it.

the edges of your vision start to blur while your fingers card themselves through his curls to hold him in place. and that wave that’s been building up inside you finally crashes over the surface.

your shaky cry of his name has him moaning into you, his hips twitching as he spills into the fabric of his boxers. and he doesn’t mind when your trembling thighs tighten around his head, keeping him locked into place between your hips.

not that eddie would ever complain.

you finally release him when the feeling becomes too much, thighs settling onto the bed when you tug at his curls. he lifts his head then, eyes mirroring your half lidded gaze. his slick-smeared lips shine in the moonlight that streams through his bedroom window and you feel another rush of emotion flow through you.

“thank you,” you whisper, voice cracking.

he brings your knuckles back to his lips, pressing a wet kiss onto each one. satisfied with his work, eddie crawls back up your body, pressing tender kisses until he reaches your lips. you wrap your arms around his neck, tugging him even closer when your mouth do meet.

but that’s when you feel it. the warm, sticky mess that has soaked into his boxers and smeared across his hairy thighs.

“did you just— ?” you ask in almost disbelief, wide eyes meeting his own when he pulls back to give you a cheeky grin.

another gentle roll of his hips has you gasping aloud, the action pressing his mess further into your own as he chuckles deeply.

“damn right, i did.”

[rosyhoneydew]

911 8x04 sneak peek coda with buddietommy because my brain wouldn't let this go until I wrote it.

"Okay," Tommy lifts his hands placatingly. "Well, if we're going to talk curses, I'll need to be way more caffeinated. You want anything, Eddie?"

"Nah, I'm good."

"Right," Tommy says. "I'll be back in a few minutes."

Eddie's been flipping through the hospital-provided magazines in Buck's room for the better part of an hour, but his eyes flick up to catch the movement of Tommy leaning toward Buck.

He doesn't mean to watch, it's instinct that has him looking on. Nonetheless, he catches the way Buck shifts just a little as Tommy moves in, and feels a sympathy pang for the way Tommy changes course to pat a hand on Buck's shoulder rather than the kiss it had initially looked like he was going for.

Eddie quickly flicks his eyes back to the magazine, not wanting to let on that he'd seen.

He hears Tommy head back out into the hallway and sits up, turning his attention on Buck.

"What was that about?"

"What?" Buck asks, fiddling with the top sheet on his bed.

Eddie levels him with a look when Buck finally makes eye contact again. Really?

"It's nothing," Buck sighs eventually.

"Sorta felt like something," he counters.

Buck grimaces. "I don't know..." Then he finally caves. "I guess I just thought it might be weird."

"Weird? To... kiss your boyfriend?"

"Weird for you," he says, looking at Eddie out of the corner of his eye. You knew what I meant, goes unsaid.

"Buck," Eddie starts, uncrossing his legs and leaning closer to the bed so he's impossible to ignore. "I told you that you being with Tommy doesn't change anything, remember?"

"Yeah, I-I know but like it's different, knowing that we're dating and, like, seeing us make out or whatever."

A random, hot thrill strikes Eddie when the thought conjures up the image. He thinks of the way Tommy's hands must fit, sure and heavy, on Buck's jaw, his neck, as they kiss. He imagines the way Buck tilts his head back to let Tommy's tongue slide in deeper, moaning when the wet slide of it imitates something even dirtier.

"Make out, huh?" he manages weakly. "Didn't realize hospital beds got you going like that."

Buck flushes and rolls his eyes. "You know what I mean."

"I do," Eddie says. "Look, Buck, it doesn't bother me, okay? You shouldn't do anything you're not comfortable with, but you don't have to hide this part of you for my sake. Not ever. Got it?"

Buck nods, looking relieved.

"Plus-" Eddie starts before he realizes what's about to pour out of his mouth. He snaps his mouth shut.

"Plus?" Buck prompts.

"Plus, I don't know... it's not like you guys are, like, hard on the eyes or anything." He's stammering. "I mean, it's not like a hardship, you know?"

Buck sits back wide-eyed. Shit. Eddie hadn't meant to make it weird, but it definitely was, right? That's probably not a normal thing to say to your best friend about him and your other best friend dating.

"You-?"

"Sorry." Buck cuts himself off at the sound of Tommy's voice, thank god.

"I had to wait for someone to track down the creamer, at least it's somewhat drinkable now." Tommy frowns at his coffee like it's insulted him just by existing.

Buck smiles at Tommy. He's shaken himself out of the state of shock he was in when Tommy walked back in, but he's got a glint in his eye that's making Eddie feel a little on edge.

"Can I have a taste?" he asks.

Tommy cocks a brow. "Sure."

But when he steps closer and holds out the paper cup, Buck bypasses it altogether. He grabs Tommy's hand, the free one, and pulls him down enough to get his other hand around the back of Tommy's neck.

Eddie couldn't look away if he tried. Tommy lets out a huff of surprise as their lips lock, a gasp as Buck deepens it immediately, licking in so fully that Eddie can see the movement from his chair. There's thick anticipation and intrigue simmering in his gut at the sight, but it's over all too quickly.

Tommy leans back, smiling and pecking Buck once more, before clearing his throat and looking over at Eddie a little sheepishly.

"Okay," he says, voice low, "what did I miss?"

[leighsartworks216]

Rises The Moon

Zayne x gn!Reader

Dedicating this to @deusfoundry for providing the catalyst it took to finish this rn

Warnings: fluff, kissing, cuddling, workaholic Zayne, established relationship

Word Count: 1,206

Main Masterlist

Love and Deepspace Masterlist

AO3

Tag List Form

The moon is almost at its zenith in the inky sky. Even with the city lights mimicking beacons in the darkness, stars glimmer and gleam down on the world below.

You’ve been dozing in and out of sleep for the last couple hours. As warm and soft and comfortable as the bed is, you can’t fall much deeper than that surface-level snooze. The apartment always feels hollow with Zayne gone. The bed is too cold, even when you’re wrapped up in your conserved heat. Exhaustion weighs you down, but sleep never fully claims you. Not while he’s away.

Maybe it’s because you didn’t get the chance to see him this morning. Something had pulled him from your arms and to the hospital on short notice, before the sun had even graced the horizon. So now you ached for him, longed for him to be here with you again. Or maybe it feels like this all the time, regardless of if he leaves before dawn or if you spend all day with him.

You’re on the precipice of a dreamscape when you’re awoken again. This time, it’s because of a cool hand brushing your hair back and soft lips kissing your forehead. You turn into his affection, refusing to open your eyes as you bask in the warm embrace of his return. His quiet chuckle is like melatonin.

His hand slips from your head. The sound of his house slippers against the floor follow him as he leaves the bedroom. You sigh and nuzzle your pillow, waiting for him to come back and cuddle you.

But he doesn’t.

Now that you know he’s home and definitively not beside you in bed, sleep evades you even stronger than before. He’s home, he should be here.

With a Herculean effort, you unwrap yourself from the warm blankets and slide on your own slippers. You open the closet to grab the first sweater or hoodie you can find, one of his, and throw it on to preserve whatever heat you have left. Then, you go to find him.

It doesn’t take very long.

He’s sitting on the couch, laptop resting on his thighs as he types away. The blue glow is too harsh, even with the brightness as low as it is. You can see it gleaming on his glasses at this angle. That damn man never knows how to slip out of work mode.

You shuffle behind him and wrap your arms around his shoulders, hands resting lazily over his heart. He doesn’t startle; he must have heard you coming.

“You’re gonna be up all night if you keep working right now, dear heart,” you murmur against his shoulder. Practically all your weight is pressed against his back as you lean further into him. He can feel your fingers starting to loosen his tie.

He turns his head to press a kiss to your hair. His cool fingers hold yours, stopping their movements with little effort. “Soon, my love, I promise.”

You’re not buying that for a second. You huff, turn your face into his neck, and begin leaving chaste kisses along his skin. “Liar.”

“If I can work in peace,” he begins pointedly, “it will be done in an hour.”

“That’s too long,” you whine. You don’t care how pathetic and childish you sound. He’s been working all day, plus overtime. You didn’t even get your good morning kiss! And now he’s gonna leave you to sleep alone just so he can do more work? Nuh-uh. Not on your watch. “You can finish it tomorrow.”

He chuckles. “Can’t you survive an hour more without me?”

“No.” You playfully nip at his earlobe. “Your spouse is exhausted, and the only cure is cuddling with their husband, in bed, all night long.”

“Oh? What’s the prognosis without treatment?”

“It’s terminal.” You sigh dramatically, loosening your hands from his hold to fully slip his tie off. “They’ll be dead within hours if they don’t get the proper care soon enough.”

Zayne can’t fight his smile. If he’s being honest with himself, he’s exhausted, too. The extra hours he works aren’t necessary by any means, but he can’t stop himself from trying to catch up on paperwork or helping where he can. It’s not sustainable in the long term, or it shouldn’t be, but he can’t remember a time when he wasn’t up at all hours of the day studying or working.

He sighs. He grabs your hand again to lift it to his lips, kissing your knuckles one by one. “Is it contagious?”

You nod, humming. “Very. There’s a 100% rate that you’ll catch it, too.”

“Then, I suppose, we’ll both have to get treatment together.”

He can feel your smile when you kiss his cheek. You’ve finally succeeded in your mission to drag Zayne to bed.

You reluctantly get off of him so he can stand from the couch, abandoning his laptop on the coffee table. You’re a little unsteady on your feet, vision blurry with exhaustion from staying up so late. He steadies you with an arm around your shoulders and pulls you into his side. You wrap both of your arms around his waist, even if it makes walking a bit trickier while he leads you back to the bedroom.

You sit on the edge of the bed. Even through half-lidded eyes, you watch as he undresses from his work clothes and into pajamas, a nice set that you’d gotten him early on into your relationship. Your brain short-circuits a little at the thought.

You’re actually married to this man. To Zayne. Dr. Zayne.

He catches you staring with a frown of concern. “My love? What’s wrong?”

You shake your head. It’s too late to get overwhelmed with your love for him. Or too early. What time is it anyway?

You tug at the hem of the sweater you stole. “Help me out of this?”

Zayne grins, a glint in his eye like he knows that’s not what you were thinking about, but his hands are all too caring as they slide up your sides, pulling off the sweater and setting it to the side to worry about in the morning. He holds your face like this precious thing when he leans down to kiss your forehead. Your nose. Your cheek. Your lips.

You sigh into the kiss. All your desperate longing of the day is stolen away. Every pout and frown to yourself from missing your morning kiss, gone.

When he pulls away, you grab his sleep shirt’s collar and pull him back in. He chuckles softly against your mouth, but obliges, tilting his head to kiss you deeper. There’s nothing heated about the kiss. It’s passionate, yes, but it’s tender and languid.

“‘Cuz I didn’t get my morning kiss,” you murmur when you finally let him pull away.

He hums thoughtfully, but his voice is teasing as he says, “I’ll try not to forget next time.”

You let him go. He rounds the bed to his side while you climb back under the covers. They’re colder now, but his arms around you make up for it tenfold. You fall asleep listening to his heart, and he drifts off with the weight of you holding onto him.

---

Tag List:

@the-golden-jhope @huen1ngk41 @armycaratlover @cheesemachine44

[ian0key]

SAM/SASHA AND ALICE/TIM????

TMAGP ep 1-2 Spoilers!! (And TMA Spoilers!)

Do you realize how similar Alice and Sam are to Tim and Sasha?

Many of you talked about Alice being fun, carefree and the comic relief, like Tim in the first season.

But what happens if we look deeper? I start with Alice and Tim because I think they are the most obvious

-Alice does not have "professional respect" for either Gwen or Lena.

Just like what happened between Tim and Jon. But none of them go so far as to "completely disrespect them."(at least S1 Tim).

-Alice has a younger brother who she apparently cares a lot about, just like Tim was with Danny. Besides, (this is my theory), but the way they introduced Alice's brother, I get the feeling that his fate won't be very different from poor Danny's.

-They know more than they say, Alice clearly knows more than she tells Sam,Alice has been working for the government for at least 4 years, and the only time she acted seriously was to tell Sam that he shouldn't get too involved in the cases, because she saw people go crazy because of it.

Something similar happened with Tim in the first seasons, he knew that the Fears were real, he knew things about the stranger, he was looking for revenge..

And now on to the similarities between Sam and Sasha.

-They were both overqualified for their position, Lena told Sam that the job he applied for was too low for his level, but he didn't care,on the other hand ,Sasha must have been The Archivist, Gerdtrud knew this, that's why her warning notes were made for her, but Elias found out after Killing Gerdtrud and left Sasha as assistant and put Jon as The Archivist..

-Sam is calm, he follows Alice's games but is professional towards his colleagues, Just like the little we saw of Sasha, She treated Jon quite well even though at the time Jon was a bit... very Shitty.

That's why Jon trusted her so much.

-Curiosity , Sam asked a lot of questions throughout the first 2 chapters, and when he didn't get answers he started investigating on his own. When Sasha met Michael, she wanted answer,without caring about the danger.

Also, That could have been a foreshadowing that Sam will be connected to the Eye of this reality???.

- Both of their names start with "SA" but that's not very important /j

And finally, we analyze Alice and Sam as a duo and the parallels they have with Tim and Sasha.The two of them complement each other perfectly, they play each other's games and we feel their connection.

Besides Alice and Sam are exes (although I think it's more of a reference to Georgie and Jon) Sasha and Tim always had an "almost something?????".like we heard in the fifth season..

I don't know, at some point I felt like I was listening to the reincarnations of the chaotic Archives duo , you know what I mean?

(English is not my first language, please let me know if I have any spelling mistakes🙏)

[redtsundere-writes]

Tyrant's Favorite | Sukuna Ryomen

Part 16: Before Night Falls

King!SukunaRyomen x Servant!FemReader

Summary: You used to be just another servant among the army of humans operating under the command of the terrible king, Sukuna Ryomen. An ordinary human who only knows how to wash, clean and cook. Until one day, he notices something in you that you hadn't seen before.

Tags: MDNI. +18. Murder. Blood. Cannibalism. Sukuna Ryomen Is The Warning Itself. Nudity. Sexual Display. Vaginal. Fingering. Sometimes fluff, sometimes angst.

Word Count: 8415 words.

A/N: So... I have been rereading the fic, and it needs a lot of upgrading when it comes to correcting, so I'll take next week to edit the English version of this fic and then continue uploading of Friday, September 20th. Sorry for the inconveniences.

Beginning. | ← Previous | Next →

“My almighty king, I bow before you to beg you to let me leave the castle,” you asked between tears.

“What?” Sukuna, Uraume and Kenjaku answered in unison out of shock.

Sukuna heard you, but he didn't understand what the hell you were trying to tell him. You had dedicated a year of your life to serve him, just killed someone for him, and now you wanted to leave the castle? After he had given you everything to keep you happy and prevent this exact situation. 3 substantial meals a day, a giant room with a comfortable bed, beautiful dresses, fine jewelry, a broad education and a life safe from curses. You must be out of your mind. Besides the fact that you were about to become one of the most powerful women in the world, why did you want to leave now after all? The king had never been so offended in his life.

“I have two more sisters. Nanako and Mimiko. They are barely 11 years old and they are completely alone because Yorozu killed our mother,” you explained to the king with your face hidden between the curtains of your hair and his bleeding hands. “I just want to go home to make sure they are okay. You can ask Kenjaku, Uraume or some curse to escort me. I promise to return before the sun sets,” you whimpered for mercy once again.

That sharp pain kept sprouting from his chest. That strange pang was different from the others he had experienced before. His throat was closing, so he couldn't answer you immediately. He twisted his face in an attempt to regain control of his own body. He clenched his hand in frustration at not being able to correct himself to deny any request you had out of anger, but he couldn't. “What the hell is happening to me?” he thought, annoyed.

In the absence of an answer, you crawled to his feet in the most desperate attempt to convince him at all costs. The mere thought of your little sisters being there alone was eating you alive with helplessness. You were about to play any card you had available to try to convince him. The king was going to accept, whether he liked it or not. After all, it wasn’t going to be an easy task after challenging him in front of everyone, so you would do anything for an opportunity. Unable to hold his feet because of the dirt on his hands, you kissed them delicately to show him that you were still faithful to him. You closed your eyes so as not to think too much about the shame you were going through. You transported yourself to that passionate night you shared in order to relieve your strong repulsion.

The king's face went from an angry red to a deeper, shy red. His body tensed with each gentle kiss you gave him on the back of his head. Little pricks of love that erased his anger. No one had reached that level of voluntary idolatry before. He never thought he'd see you embarrass yourself like that in front of everyone just to fulfill a relatively reasonable request. 

“I'll kill as many as it takes to give me that chance, please. They're all I have left,” you whimpered, placing your forehead between his feet.

“Get up,” he ordered, annoyed.

You quickly complied as you wiped your tears with the back of your hand to avoid getting more blood on your face. You didn't look him in the eyes for fear that he would reject your request immediately, it was the last thing you wanted to hear, even though he had every right to do so after threatening him with an arrow that he himself had given you. Still, you couldn't allow yourself to lose the little hope you had. You didn't deserve him to do you that favor, much less to be alive, but you had to try.

"Let me see your hands," he asked you.

You gave them to him trembling for fear of what he would do to you next, expecting a clear punishment. Sukuna turned them over to see the state of your palms. They were completely split in half, blood gushing out every time you squeezed the surrounding skin, and you began to lose feeling. They were practically ruined, it would take months to return to normal. You wouldn't be surprised in the least if he cut them off for your terrible behavior. You looked away, not wanting to see what terrible thing he had planned for you.

“You are very brave to do something stupid like that,” Sukuna said before taking your hands to examine them, being as gentle as possible so as not to hurt you more.

You were going to answer, but something in your hand moved. The parallel wounds began to close slowly in front of your incredulous eyes. The skin folds joined with their equal as if by magic. In less than a minute, your hands had returned to normal. You opened and closed your fist in front of you to make sure you weren't hallucinating from the intense pain. “Since when can he do that?” you thought, confused.

“You did that?” You wondered, still in shock, upon learning that the killing machine was also capable of healing as well.

“It's a simple reverse curse technique,” ​​he explained. “It processes cursed energy, which is negative by nature, into positive energy. As a result, the energy that destroys, becomes the energy that creates and heals.”

“Wow…” You sighed, amazed. You didn't know that he was capable of healing people the same way he hurts them.

“Go change, you look terrible,” Sukuna ordered you before taking Yorozu's head from the ground, handing it to Uraume to take care of it and the rest of his body that continued to stain the grass of the courtyard while you talked.

“What about my request? I really need…” You asked, begging for permission to leave the castle.

“And you're going to go see your sisters in your underwear, with smeared makeup and bathed in their other sister's blood? You're going to traumatize them,” Sukuna interrupted to scold you. “I'm going to escort you. You have 20 minutes to be at the entrance before I change my mind.” He turned around to continue along the bridge towards the entrance.

“Yes, my king. I won’t take long.” You smiled widely.

Sukuna turned around to let you return to the castle, but stopped when he felt your arms around his waist. His body subtly melted as soon as you pressed him against your warmth. Your hands on his stomach caressed his second mouth softly, while your forehead connected with the middle of his spine. A brief gesture that calmed the pain in his chest, undid the lump in his throat, and relaxed his face finally. The king's mind short-circuited as he didn't know what to do in that situation. Take your hands, caress them, push you away so you would leave, kill you? There were many options, but none seemed to be the right one.

"Thank you, my king," you whispered before letting go.

Your hands moved away from him, and he returned to the cold he had already grown accustomed to after hundreds of years in solitude. Sukuna slowly turned his gaze towards you to see you running towards the castle again, lifting your bottom to avoid tripping over the fabric. That contagious emotion placed a small smile on his face. It seemed that everything had returned to normal.

"Uraume, you already know what to do with the body," Sukuna ordered them to leave with the head of his ex-sister-in-law. Seeing her finally dead also brought him great relief.

"Yes, my king," Uraume nodded before disappearing from his sight. Sukuna was about to continue on his way, but he saw Kenjaku smiling from ear to ear with no intention of hiding it.

"What?" He asked him, somewhat annoyed by his strange expression.

“It seems like you are going on a date,” Kenjaku told him as he followed the king towards the entrance.

“It is not a date,” Sukuna scolded him. “We will go check and return before sunset.”

“But do you really have to go? You have a lot of paperwork to do. You could have easily ordered me to accompany her,” Kenjaku argued.

“It will take twice as long if you escort her. Besides, I don’t trust you enough to let her leave the castle with you,” the king answered honestly.

After Kenjaku betrayed King Jogo to serve him, he didn’t trust him enough to leave his future queen in his hands without any means of survival. He had yet to figure out what Kenjaku wanted from him specifically, and it was certainly not anything good.

“So, you won’t take this opportunity to propose to her?” Kenjaku inquired curiously. Sukuna didn't even bother to answer him. "You two alone, in the middle of the open field, the sunset behind you... You would be a real fool if you didn't." Sukuna stopped in the middle of the road and glared at him. "I was just saying it would be a good idea." Kenjaku excused himself.

"Mind your damn business!" The king exploded, continuing on his way, not paying him any more attention.

Kenjaku stepped back, raising his arms in surrender when he saw that he had disturbed him. Sukuna growled under his breath before heading to their meeting point. Your tutor stepped back, covering his face with the sleeve of his long wardrobe, pretending to be terrified of the king to satisfy his intention. "Oh, young lady, you'll need all the luck in the world with a husband like this," he thought.

Your legs moved on their own to get to the castle as soon as possible, you entered to go to your room, but stopped when you saw a large obstacle in your way. Your eyes widened as you took in the small crowd that had formed to greet you. All the servants applauded you proudly for the brave battle you had fought against the common enemy. Your feelings were mixed at receiving such warmth for such a cold act. Mrs. Inoue appeared among the servants to tearfully embrace you.

“You scared me to death, miss!” Mrs. Inoue scolded you, pressing you against her body roughly, as if she didn't want to let you go.

A small smile of happiness for having survived your sister's attack appeared on your face before you returned the hug with the same intensity. Even though you were in mourning, you were pleased that you hadn't involved any innocents in your dealings with the king. Even though all the old people had less time to live, that didn't mean you could deprive them of enjoying them. You gently pushed Mrs. Inoue away. You couldn’t afford to waste any more time.

“I must change. The king is waiting for me,” You tried to excuse yourself, but one of the servants took your arm so you wouldn't leave.

“Then put this on,” she offered you one of Yorozu's dresses.

The fabric was smooth and stretchy, it had a large ribbon at the waist for easy closure, and best of all, it had pockets. You were seriously starting to consider starting to wear those instead of the dresses that were too formal for everyday wear. You agreed without a second thought, it would save you a lot of time. The maid called for the others to hurry up and help you. With everyone's help, they quickly dressed you, fixed your battle-messed hairstyle, and cleaned your face with a slightly wet sponge.

"Oops, I ruined your makeup." Mrs. Inoue covered her face in embarrassment.

"Don't worry, it was already ruined." You replied with a friendly smile before another maid showed you the result with a hand mirror. It wasn't ideal to have the dark circles under your eyes from the terrible night before, but since there was no time for a touch-up. "Thank you all for your support. I’ll be back soon,” you thanked them with a bow before running out to the entrance as the servants waved goodbye to you.

Sukuna sighed as he finally saw you running towards him to begin the journey. You stopped in front of your king, your breath coming in short gasps from crossing the long courtyard and the drawbridge to him. With a different dress, not a drop of makeup and without all the blood, you went from looking like a warrior queen to a decent woman in a matter of minutes. Sukuna quickly noticed your purple dark circles from not sleeping well due to worry. It was a small reminder that despite looking different from everyone else, you were still just like everyone else.

“Where are we headed?” Sukuna asked you.

“To the human commune,” you replied. “Passing the hill, there are several cabins. Just follow the paths.” You pointed towards the horizon.

Passing the scary land taken over by the curses, the large green valley that belonged to the humans began. The human commune was something that Sukuna and all the curses know exists, but it is usually an area well protected by men, a difficult area to hunt. Even though Sukuna could easily invade the area to kill them all, it didn’t suit him at all. Even though the curses follow him faithfully because of his immense power, it is also because he keeps them well-fed. If he killed the commune in one blow, the curses would look for food in other lands and probably start a war against the sorcerers without being ready yet. The commune was like his personal chicken coop, why kill the chicken when it can lay eggs?

“Let’s go there then.” Sukuna crouched down in front of you, arms back, ready to carry you.

“What are you doing?” You analyzed his stance, curious as to why he was almost leaning towards you.

“It’ll be faster if I carry you on my back,” he explained. “So get on, now,” he commanded, losing patience from the embarrassment of being in that position.

You nodded obediently. You didn’t know how you were supposed to get on his big back. You were the one who always carried the others, so you had no idea what to do when someone else had to carry you. You jumped onto his back clumsily to reach out to hug him around the neck. Sukuna stood up suddenly, leaving your feet skidding in the air. With the help of his lower back, he pulled you up a little higher to better support you by the thighs. Your cheeks flushed as you felt his thumb caress your skin.

“Hold on tight and close your eyes, we’ll be there in no time,” Sukuna smiled confidently at his great speed.

You held onto his shoulders tightly and closed your eyes, hiding your face in the back of his neck as you got drunk on his strong cologne. A shiver ran down his spine as he felt your warm breath against his exposed skin. He shook his head to focus on the road. He didn’t want to waste too much time searching for your sisters, it was preferable if they returned before dinner. He pressed your thighs tightly against his body, leaving a light mark on you, before running off to the commune.

You screamed at the sky when you felt the huge difference in speed. Sukuna laughed at your adorable reaction as he ran like a bullet without brakes between the cobblestone streets, secret alleys and the occasional roof between the abundant buildings. Your heart accelerated at the same time as the large feet of your carriage did. The fabrics of their clothes fluttered against the wind as they reached the commune as soon as possible. Sukuna jumped over the wall that separated the town from the commune and finally fell on the green grass that separated the two worlds, without the slightest concern for scaring any poor human who was around. Sukuna continued running until he reached the center of the commune.

The owner of the cabin closest to the wall panicked when he saw the king running towards the commune. He ran terrified to the control tower to ring the bells that announced the possible attack of a curse. The neighbors, hearing the frightening warning, suddenly became agitated and ran to their homes to safeguard their lives in the best way they knew how, hiding. Sukuna reached the epicenter of the commune, watching as everyone greeted him with cries for help as they fled from him like cockroaches from the light.

“We have arrived,” Sukuna announced before letting you get off his back.

You staggered against your weight due to dizziness, falling to the ground in a sit-down. You held your head to make sure you were clear about where you were. You looked at the surrounding cabins, the stunned gazes of those who were your neighbors peeking out from between the curtains. You were sure they were wondering why you had brought the king of curses himself to his safe place, but there was no time to explain anything. You had to find your sisters.

You got up again to run towards your home. “Where are they?” You wondered in panic as your legs moved as fast as they could towards the furthest cabin of all. Your father had built it for your mother when they got married, far away from everyone, because your mother hated the neighbors but loved your father, so she moved with him to his hometown. “Where are they?” You looked around, anxious, searching for your sisters in any possible place they could be. “Where are they?!” Your mind roared in search of answers, praying that your little sisters were okay. A nostalgic smile crept onto your face as you reached the entrance of your old home.

“Nanako! Mimiko!” You burst through the door, breaking it because of the worn nails.

You called out to them over and over as you inspected the cabin, your heart in your hand in worry. Where there used to be a large table for everyone to eat together, a large kitchen with cooking utensils, and an armchair to hang out on, now there wasn't even a shabby rug. It was like looking at a dark, dirty blank canvas. The humidity was breathable, cobwebs hung from the ceiling, and field rats squeaked from their hiding places in the few pieces of wooden furniture that remained.

You ran to what used to be the room you shared with your sisters. The closet was empty, the curtains were full of dust, and the bed was bare. Not even the blanket their grandmother had given them was there anymore. All there was a small white envelope. You opened it carefully so as not to accidentally tear it between the trembling of your clumsy hands. Seeing who had written the letter, a tear escaped from your eyes.

“Dear sisters,

I don’t know if you’ll ever read this, but if you do, it means we’re not here to welcome you. We hate living here, we always had, so we made the decision to leave since we didn’t have anyone else with us. I don’t know where we’ll go, but it will be far from the curses. I hope you don’t get mad at us for leaving, and we can meet again soon.

Lots of love, Nanako and Mimiko”

You held the letter to your chest as you sobbed softly, as this was the only physical reminder of your dear little sisters. They might appear strong in their words, but you knew they were surely terrified. They were facing a completely unknown world, far from the only terrible nation they knew. You knew the journey to human lands was long, but not impossible.

You weren't sure you could bear all the pain you had felt in one day. Carrying the mourning of your mother, the guilt of having murdered your own sister and the helplessness of not being able to do anything for your little sisters would lead to your end. Family was what mattered most, but all of that had been destroyed in less than a day. The house of your memories had burned completely, impregnating you with the smell of smoke for the rest of your life.

“I knew you were joking,” Sukuna mentioned behind you, examining the cabin’s filth with curiosity.

“What are you talking about?” You asked, confused, wiping away the hundredth tear of the day.

“What you said to Yorozu. ‘If I could go back to my quiet country life, I would in a heartbeat.’” Sukuna quoted what you said to your sister moments before killing her, entering the room. “Who in their right mind would trade a life of luxury for a filthy pigsty like this?”

The king scoffed at your stupidity. He walked around the room like it belonged to him completely, even though he had never slept on the hard bed, felt the cold floor with his bare feet, or eaten on the floor due to the lack of chairs. This place was so ugly that he wouldn’t even let his servants sleep there.

“It's not about the cabin, but what was in it,” you explained, fiddling with the envelope. “I was talking about my family, or at least, the one I used to have.”

The bed creaked as it supported the king's weight when he sat on it to take a little break after the tour. Being the same height now, he noticed your sad eyes and the small envelope you were holding tightly. Quickly, he deduced that your sisters had run away from home.

“I can order a search to find them,” Sukuna proposed, but you immediately rejected the offer.

“It's pointless. If they left on the day of the harvest, they must already be in some other kingdom,” you explained your hypothesis as you put the letter in one of the pockets in your dress. “It will sound selfish, but I prefer to think that they are fine than to look for them only to be told that some curse trapped them,” you said guiltily.

“Live happily in ignorance?” Sukuna asked you with disdain.

“I can’t deal with two more deaths, I just… it’s too much,” you said before cowardly leaving the room to drop the topic.

Sukuna looked at you confused, but that inexplicable feeling in his chest came back. He was starting to get frustrated, not knowing exactly what it was. He shouldn’t have heart problems when using his reverse curse technique, Kenjaku thought nothing was happening to him, and it didn’t happen regularly. That discomfort was driving him crazy, as if it were an occasional migraine.

The soft wind greeted you as soon as you stepped out into the yard. You passed the sink and the clothesline to slowly approach the small family cemetery. Your father's small grave was neglected but intact, while your mother's had the earth turned upside down after someone dug there. “They didn't bury her well” you thought, disappointed to see that your mother's corpse had been stolen, it was probably some curse to eat her as a midnight snack.

“Hi…” You greeted your father timidly. “The family split up, and I wasn't there to stop it,” you said as your lower lip trembled.

You hugged yourself to stop yourself from crying again. Your eyes were already fed up, they didn't want to regret the whole situation for the tenth time that day. Biting your lower lip hard, you tried to take your sensitivity by the horns. You were about to give up when Sukuna's hands took possession of your shoulders.

“Your parents?” Sukuna inquired when he saw what he was looking at.

“Yes.” Your throat cleared before answering. “My little sisters didn't build a coffin, so a curse must have eaten our mother,” you added, holding your breath to keep yourself out of the way.

“I don't understand why they cling so much to keeping bodies,” Sukuna said with annoyance. “They're just a nuisance.”

“Because humans are selfish,” you answered with some annoyance. Sukuna raised his eyebrow when he noticed your change of attitude. “Even though we know they're no longer with us, we want to have them close. The soul leaves, but the body is the only thing that stays with us,” you explained.

“Anyway, it's stupid. The body doesn't stay either. It ends up rotting when it could have been the food for a curse,” Sukuna argued. You sighed heavily.

This was really the last thing you needed in your time of mourning. Your sadness turned to anger in an instant. You weren't surprised at all that he acted so indifferent to the situation, but you wished he would at least shut up so you could go through your mourning in peace. You tried to keep your anger to yourself, but it didn't stop you from blurting out,

“Of course you wouldn't understand, you don't have a family.”

Silence invaded the moment. A chill ran down your spine, reminding you of who you were talking to. Your eyes widened as you realized the horrible comment that had escaped your lips. You looked up, thinking he would be looking at you with contempt, but you were met with his monotonous face. That scared you even more.

“I had a family,” he answered before walking away from you to leave you alone for a while.

That answer left you stunned in your place. Curses had been a true mystery for much of your life until Kenjaku came to explain everything you needed to know. These strange creatures are a race of spiritual beings invisible to most humans, incarnated from the cursed energy that escapes from humans over time due to their negative emotions. How can a curse have a family?

A new guilt began to torture your chest. After watching him walk away from you to climb the next hill, you decided to follow him to apologize, it was the least you could do. You apologized and gave your father a final bow of respect for the last time to reach the king.

"I'm sorry, I…" You tried to tell him when you reached him.

"I still remember the face of the one who used to be my mother." Sukuna completely interrupted you as he continued walking the path to the top. "She was a beautiful woman."

Sukuna, before waking up in the nightmare he had transformed into, remembered his past life almost perfectly. He had a mother who was ashamed of him, a violent father, and a twin brother he never met because he ate him in the womb. He had been born with the blessing of having power worthy of a god but with the curse of being a complete disgrace. An evil being that had no way to be fixed. A lonely child who became a sorcerer with black blood. A man thirsty to destroy everything that stood in his way. He may have disappointed many people, but never himself.

“I didn't know that…” You stuttered upon hearing about his sad past.

“Not even Uraume knows,” you confessed.

“Really?” You asked, stupefied.

“You're the only one who knows now,” Sukuna looked at you. “You've earned it after what you did for me today.”

“I didn't kill my sister for you. I did it for myself,” you answered honestly. Sukuna stopped in the middle of the road, shocked by the direct confession. “My sister not only betrayed me, but also the family I had left.”

“Why do you care so much about your family?” Sukuna held his forehead, exasperated by hearing you repeat that word. “Your father was weak, your mother sold you, Yorozu betrayed you and your other sisters abandoned you,” Sukuna asked you.

“Because I love them anyway.”

The king's lips parted slightly upon hearing that. There was no logic behind that answer. There was not a gram of reason. He had no legs or head, but he still managed to surprise him. How could you love such a broken family?

“That doesn't make sense,” Sukuna replied incredulously.

“Love doesn't need to make sense.”

The pain in his chest turned into a flutter of thousands of butterflies. A simple phrase made his cheeks feel hot, his hands sweaty, and he felt the need to cover his shame. A simple phrase made him feel an inexplicable hope that he didn't think he needed.

You looked up, you were almost at the top. You had climbed so high that it would be a shame to have to go down when you were so close. Since your sisters weren't there to run with you to see the sunset for one last time, maybe you could do it with someone new.

“Follow me, just this once,” you asked before taking one of Sukuna's arms.

He let himself be led by your guide to continue walking the path they still had to travel. They reached the top of the slope, where there was a large rock positioned perfectly to admire the rest of the valley and the human commune. The rainbow sunset, the small cabins, the leafy trees and the distant night worked in harmony like a beautiful piece of art. It was a simple sight but beautiful in its own splendor. They sat on the rock as if they were waiting for something. Maybe they were just wasting time until the sun set to return to the castle, as you had promised.

“My sisters and I used to come here every day. There isn’t much to do in the commune, so having this view is a small blessing,” you commented to the king as you watched the humans emerge from their huts, wondering if the threat had left. “What did you like to do when you were younger?” you asked.

“I didn’t have a good childhood,” the king answered honestly.

“But at least there must be something nice that you remember,” you answered curiously. Sukuna thought for a moment.

In fact, there was something he remembered. On the outskirts of the poor village where he used to live, there was a large forest that hid the most beautiful flowers he had ever seen. He didn’t know their names or what they meant, but he didn’t need to know to admire their delicacy. Their different bright colors, soft fragrance, and unique designs caught his attention. He caressed their petals, afraid of cutting them if he didn’t do it properly. A simple but welcoming and delicate touch brought him peace. Sometimes he came across a bee or two that brightened his view with their plump and fluffy bodies. The flowers were the only thing he didn't want to destroy in gratitude for never judging him.

"When I had access to all the books, I learned that if you arrange certain flowers with others they can have different meanings," Sukuna explained as he put his hand in his pants pocket, squeezing the box he had saved for that moment.

He hated to admit it, but Kenjaku was right. This was the perfect opportunity to propose to you. The great view of your homeland that merges with the land he leads, was a beautiful symbolism. They were completely alone, without any humans or curses lurking in their affairs. The golden hour was almost over, so it was now or never.

"You know? You remind me of daisies. They usually symbolize innocence, joy and purity, and you are all of those things," he explained as he looked at the horizon while he gathered courage to look you in the eyes after saying that with his cheeks flushed. “Sometimes they are hard to read because they come in many colors and the real meaning depends on this, but that's not important…” He was so nervous that he was starting to get off-topic. He took a deep breath to calm his nerves.

Wait, why was he so nervous? Sukuna never got nervous, he was always ready for whatever he was faced with. A battle against a powerful sorcerer? A piece of cake. Ordering his troops in complicated strategies? An everyday occurrence. Declaring war against humanity? The dream. Proposing? It made his hair stand on end. He couldn't believe he felt his heart beating at the possible response of his prospective wife. He was sure she would accept him, she had already done it once, he had to do it... Right?

“What really matters about daisies is knowing how many there are in a bouquet. If there are less than 3, it means friendship. If there are more than 6, it means pure love.” Sukuna stopped at that word.

He had read about it in endless poems, and it was a concept he knew existed, but he didn't fully understand it. He didn't know how it began or how it ended. It was complicated, unknown and could become problematic. For some reason, humans are fascinated with the wonderful idea that love knows no bounds. They lived for it, endured for it, and would even die for it. Sukuna was sure you would too, but him?

“What I mean is that I would give you all the daisies in the world.”

Your head rested on his arm, startling him a little. Finally, he worked up the courage to look at you and couldn’t believe it. You were completely asleep. Your softly closed eyes, your slow breathing, and your lack of posture were a clear sign that you had been sleeping while he was giving the corniest speech of his life. He wanted to be mad at you. He wanted to shake you awake. He wanted to throw the box with the ring in your face, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t even frown.

He covered you from the little sun that was left of the day with one hand, while the other caressed your peach fuzzy skin with all the care in the world so as not to wake you up. He was mesmerized by the way you breathed, the length of your eyelashes, your hair swinging against the soft wind, your hands resting on your lap and your lips slightly parted by gravity. You had had a long day, and you hadn't slept the night before, it was understandable that you were tired and just wanted to sleep to forget about the tragedies. Maybe this wasn't the time to propose.

The sun finally set behind the distant mountains, turning off the light completely. It was time to go home, but Sukuna wanted to stay there for the rest of his life. Chatting during the day, admiring you at night, and dreaming in his free time. Sukuna sighed as he realized why his chest had been acting so weird lately.

“Fucking hell,” he whispered, low enough to not wake you up. “You’re driving me crazy.”

Next →

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Masterlist.

Taglist: @bbnbhm @pxnellian @kbirdieee2540 @konigswifeyforlifey @kyo-kyo1 @calico-cheriies @imas1mpp @alone-the-honoured-one @vlads-dracula3 @bigraga-sk @nekee-lilac02 @shaazd @airandyeah @energiepie @awkward-walking-potato @delightfully-studying

[travellingarmy]

✩̣̣̣̣̣ͯ┄•͙✧⃝•͙┄✩ͯ•͙͙✧⃝•͙͙✩ͯ✩̣̣̣̣̣ͯ┄•͙✧⃝•͙┄✩ͯ•͙͙✧⃝•͙͙✩ͯ┄•͙✩̣̣̣̣̣ͯ┄•͙✧⃝•͙┄✩ͯ•͙͙

Lilia Vanrouge

Warning(s): NSFW. Minors do not interact. Yandere themes. Implied pseudo-incest.

Just a short drabble.

⊱⊰♤⊱⊰◇⊱⊰♡⊱⊰☆⊱⊰♧⊱⊰♤⊱⊰◇⊱⊰♡⊱⊰☆⊱⊰♧⊱⊰

"Shh.."

A soft chuckle emits somewhere in the unlit room.. Not that you'd know whether or not the room was truly lit or not when your eyes have been blindfolded. He shushes you in hopes that you'll let your guard down. However..

"Khehee. My little fae, why do you seem so scared?" Though he does not outright say it, Lilia enjoys watching how much your body trembles just by hearing his voice. He knows that he was the one to teach you to fear things, but he never anticipated that one day you'd turn his lessons against him. After taking care after you for so many years and this is the result.. He could only sigh if it weren't for the fact that he quite enjoyed being a sadist. And he has to admit, he must have gone wrong somewhere so he is partially at fault.

A wide grin that only a madman such as he could perfect smeared on his face. The sound of chains dragging on the floor sounded in your ears when you shuffle your legs close to you. You bit your lips, refusing to talk to him for as long as you could.

This only spurs him to crouch down to level your eyes and carress your cheek. His hand is slender and cold but that wasn't the reason you shuddered. What made you shiver was the thought of someone who you confide all your problems with and trusted deeply, especially when it came to protecting you, showing their monster and unwanted sinful desires towards you. "Hm~ What's this? Why is my little fae refusing my touch?" He pouts when you turn your head away from his hand.

"Are you perhaps being shy?" He chuckles and shakes his head when he falls trap to his own fantasies. "What a silly little thing."

Having enough of doing all the talking, he decides that it was about time for you to sing him praises. Chains rattle again, this time not because of you but because of him. He grabs your ankles and pulled your entire body close to him.

His cold leather gloves made you gasp which only fueled him on. "Fufufu. I knew I'd like you better this way," he comments, now towering over your form. You try not to cry as he leaves wet kisses on your inner thighs. It felt disgusting and O' how you wished your body didn't betray you at this moment, biting your bottom lip to keep all the noises he so desperately wants to hear from escaping.

He chuckles at your pathetic tries of fighting against the idea of giving up and submitting to him. If he had known years ago that you were going to become like this, maybe he should've discarded the notion of teaching you all those things that he would later have to pay a heavy price of not loving you the way he wants to and greatly resenting it. "Hn..!" Oh? Your legs trembled as he gives a kiss to your clothed sex. You could not see the sadistic smile that stretches his face that shows his fangs.

It was at this moment that he decides to skip all that long foreplay and teasing you. Another time, maybe, but not right now.

He slips off your underwear, feeling a wave of excitement surge through him. Lilia admits, he hasn't always thought of you this way so something must be wrong with him.. "You've put me under your spell, little fae.." His voice sounds deeper; serious.

"So it's time for you to understand the consequences of casting a spell on me."

✩̣̣̣̣̣ͯ┄•͙✧⃝•͙┄✩ͯ•͙͙✧⃝•͙͙✩ͯ✩̣̣̣̣̣ͯ┄•͙✧⃝•͙┄✩ͯ•͙͙✧⃝•͙͙✩ͯ┄•͙✩̣̣̣̣̣ͯ┄•͙✧⃝•͙┄✩ͯ•͙͙

[yandere-sins]

I feel like omegaverse has some untapped yandere potential. Of course there’s alpha and omega but I had this idea of like an omega going yandere for a beta, like it’s literally never going to be but by god they’re gonna do whatever it takes

[Warning: Yandere, Sexual Content]

Uff! It's such a dreadful madness. I can't describe it otherwise.

An omega that knows you are their one true love, their one and only, the soulmate that every omega craves on a deeper level than just what their brain or body needs. But, oh, the misery when they go to your appointment with you to find out you're not the alpha they will need to survive their urges (as they have naturally assumed) but a mere beta they can have as a friend for a while at best. Once they are bound to an alpha, there will be very little time to invest in you, and that's something the omega has to prevent at all costs.

See, normally, an alpha would take care of their omega. Would feed them, clothe them, house them. Make sure they are always satisfied and well-satiated. But if the yan wants to keep you, specifically, they'll have to step up to the position of caretaker. Society doesn't want their precious omegas to go unmated, and if they learn of the predicament of your role, they'll undoubtedly keep you away from your omega. It scares the yan into sleepless nights and even panic attacks, making them fearful and desperate because they cannot survive without you. You yan might be bound to a knot but die of a broken heart either way. They can't even imagine forgetting you and leaving you behind to be with any other disgusting, ruthless, leering alpha. They want you. Only you.

You, you, you.

So they do what they must. Suppressants here, hiding their scent there. They learn to avoid the questions and hide from potential mates until they reach their goal—money. Lots of it. Whether through legal means or much more nefarious ways, they'll save up so much that they can spend the rest of their life comfortably with you, somewhere hidden and secluded, just you two. The world always needs more videos of needy, begging omegas, and it's a small price to pay when it means they can create the life of their dreams. You don't even realize the reason behind the omega's sudden lack of time. That's how well they are hiding their identity on the internet as they become famous for your sake.

It's not a surprise that after your diagnosis, after learning your purpose in society, you slowly start to make amends with it. While your yandere is so obsessed with creating a life for you two, you just try to move on from how you envisioned your life to go. Because you know you two can't be together. And your previously best friend is never around to support you at this challenging time, so you start to find other people who care about you.

The heartbreak for the poor omega seeing their beloved beta living your life apart from them is immeasurable. Infuriating. Maddening. Here they were trying so hard to do this for you, and you just replace and discard them? Unacceptable. Totally unacceptable!

But their plan is already underway. They already have more money than they know what to do with, even after buying a mansion for you two somewhere far away from the hustle and bustle of this annoying society you two live in. Once you're there, no one will hear you scream. And your omega knows you won't deny them when they ask you to go on vacation with them "for old time's sake". Why would you? You love them, they know it. Even if you hesitate, you are so easily persuadable when they plead a little, just like all those followers they have accumulated over the past few months that fall for every crocodile tear and every sway of the omega's hips. But while many may adore the yandere, they only have eyes for you—and now you're walking into their carefully laid out trap.

Because as soon as they lock the door behind them, there's no way out for you. You may not like your new living arrangement initially, but the yan has already severed all your ties to the world outside of this sacred haven they created. Everything is gone—your job, your friends, your family. No one will come looking for you. Everyone believes you left of your own free will with the person you have loved since childhood.

You may be confused, crying, and refusing the omega's touches. Begging them to let you go and even lash out, but they'll endure it, whether it's your tears staining the designer carpet or your palm print on their skin. You'll surely come to your senses and realize the amazing effort the yan put into this. But even after days, you're still rattling on doors, trying to jump out of locked windows, and at that point, it's not like the yan is too innocent to drug your food and chain you in their basement love nest. Nothing will get in between you and them—not even you. This change may be hard, but they had to sacrifice a lot for you, too. It's only fair if you have to do the same for this perfect life. And if you're not willing to give them the love they want, they have viewers waiting upstairs in their new and approved 'office' to release some steam with and clear their head before they do something that will upset both of you. Viewers who can't wait for the special 'surprise' the yan has promised many weeks ago.

Because everyone knows that the omega's heat will come, even with the suppressant. They will need their release when the medicine doesn't work anymore. And why would they need to keep taking it when they are secure and in the company of their one true love? They don't need an alpha to do it. They have you. What more could they want?

You'll have no moment of peace from them once their heat starts, cameras set up, and chains secure you into their nest. There are toys for all the needs they could possibly have that you can't fulfill as a mere beta. And when they inject you with so many pheromones that your body can barely handle the rut they will force you into despite being the wrong person for it, you'll almost be like the alpha they need, desperately humping and grinding on your omega like a bitch in heat. Wild and only held back by the chains, but still their adorable, beautiful darling beta, even when you two make a mess out of the nest and yourselves.

All on camera, of course.

The omega doesn't even care when they scream your name, revealing your identities to the world. No one will ever come for you two while the tips and memberships just come flowing in naturally, demanding more. And the yan gladly obliges. There is no greater happiness than finally having you right how they want and need you.

It's happiness shared amongst everyone.

Everyone except you.

[its-avalon-08]

Can I request something with Lando? With a plus-size reader, where the hate gets to her too much, and she breaks up with him because the internet is hatting on her and being with Lando. Lando is so confused until like Max or someone asks if he has seen the hate, and it makes Lando go crazy at everyone for the hate to his favourite girl, and he gets her back. Please, I'll sell my kidney.🙏

don't go breaking my heart (ln4)

( bubs u don't have to sell ur kidney, here it is! hope u like it )

✦ pairing - lando norris x female!reader

✦ genre - angst, tears, comfort, online hate, fatphobia

liked by landonorris, kellypiquet and others

y/nnnn seashells and splashes

200,456,446 comments

@landonorris : beautiful baby <3, so grateful you're mine ---> liked by author ❤️

@alexandrasaintmleux: stunner girl, ily <3 ---> liked by author ❤️

@hater123: I can't believe Lando is dating someone like her. Doesn't he have standards?

@trollqueen: Someone needs to hit the gym... hard. Yikes.

@f1fanatic: Lando deserves so much better. She’s just not on his level. or weight.

@bodyshamer: Wow, the beach really needs a 'no whales allowed' sign.

@toxicfan: I guess money can’t buy taste, huh, Lando?

@hatersunite: How can she even post these pictures without feeling embarrassed?

@jealousfan: Lando must be blind if he thinks she’s attractive.

@fatphobic: Imagine waking up next to that every day. Poor Lando.

@anonymoushater: Lando’s career is gonna go downhill with her dragging him down.

@judgy: Cover up, nobody wants to see that.

@meanperson: She should be ashamed of how she looks.

@bitterf1fan: Why is she even famous? Just because she’s dating Lando? Pathetic.

@envioushater: ewww, why would he even kiss her? Gross.

@bodyshamepolice: lando could do so much better than this blob.

@trollmaster: She’s just using him for fame. She doesn’t deserve him.

Y/N sat in the McLaren hospitality area, her phone clutched tightly in her hand. She had been trying to ignore the hateful comments on her Instagram, but they were relentless, each one cutting deeper than the last. She scrolled through them again, her heart sinking with every cruel word.

Tears welled up in her eyes as she read the comments over and over. She had always been confident in her own skin, but the constant barrage of negativity was breaking her spirit.

Lily, Oscar Piastri's girlfriend, noticed Y/N's distress from across the room. She approached cautiously, her heart aching for her friend. "Hey, Y/N," she said softly, sitting down next to her. "Are you okay?"

Y/N didn't respond, her gaze fixed on her phone screen. Her silent sobs shook her body, and Lily could see the tears streaming down her face.

Lily gently took the phone from Y/N's hand and glanced at the screen, her own heart breaking at the sight of the hateful comments. She put the phone aside and wrapped her arms around Y/N, pulling her into a tight hug. "I'm so sorry, Y/N," she whispered, her voice filled with empathy. "They’re just jealous and cruel. You’re beautiful just the way you are."

Y/N buried her face in Lily's shoulder, her sobs growing louder. She felt so overwhelmed, so small in the face of such relentless hatred. "I can't do this anymore," she whispered through her tears. "I thought I was strong enough, but I’m not."

Lily held her tighter, her own eyes welling up with tears. "You are strong, Y/N. Don’t let them win. They don’t know you, they don’t know how amazing you are."

But Y/N could hardly hear Lily’s comforting words. The weight of the hate was too much, and she felt like she was drowning in it. She pulled away from Lily’s embrace, wiping her tears with shaking hands. "I need to go," she said quietly, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Y/N, please don’t leave like this," Lily pleaded, her concern growing. "Talk to Lando, let him help you."

But Y/N couldn’t face Lando, not now. She stood up, her legs feeling weak, and made her way to the exit. She walked out of the paddock, her heart heavy with the pain of the hateful comments, leaving behind the world she had once felt so at home in.

time skip

Lando entered their shared apartment, his usual cheerful demeanor dampened by a nagging sense of unease. The McLaren hospitality area had felt off after Y/N’s abrupt departure, and his concern had only grown since.

"Y/N?" he called out, his voice echoing through the quiet space. He spotted her in the living room, standing next to a pile of packed bags. His heart sank. "What’s going on?"

Y/N looked up, her eyes red and puffy from crying. She took a deep breath, trying to steady herself. "Lando, I’m leaving."

His confusion deepened, worry etching lines into his face. "Leaving? Why? What happened?"

She looked away, unable to meet his gaze. "I just… I think you’ll be happier without me."

Lando’s heart pounded in his chest. "What are you talking about? I’m happy with you, Y/N. Why are you doing this?"

Tears filled her eyes again, but she blinked them back. "You deserve someone better, Lando. Someone who won’t bring you down."

He stepped closer, desperation creeping into his voice. "Y/N, you’re not bringing me down. I love you. Please, just talk to me. Tell me what’s really going on."

She shook her head, wrapping her arms around herself as if to hold herself together. "I can’t, Lando. It’s better this way."

"Better for who?" he demanded, his voice breaking. "Not for me. I don’t understand. Please, Y/N, don’t do this."

She finally looked up at him, her heart breaking at the sight of his pain. "You’ll be better off without me, Lando. Trust me."

Lando felt a surge of panic. He reached out, gently taking her hand. "Please, don’t go. We can get through anything together. Just tell me what’s wrong."

Y/N pulled her hand away, fresh tears spilling down her cheeks. "I’m sorry, Lando. I have to go."

She grabbed her bags and walked towards the door, her heart aching with every step. Lando followed her, his own tears blurring his vision. "Y/N, please…"

She paused at the door, looking back at him one last time. "Goodbye, Lando."

With that, she stepped out of the apartment, closing the door behind her. Lando stood there in stunned silence, his heart shattered into pieces. He sank to the floor, his back against the door, unable to comprehend how everything had fallen apart so quickly. He had lost the woman he loved, and he didn’t even know why.

time skip

Lando sat on the floor of his apartment, his head in his hands, tears streaming down his face. His heart felt like it had been ripped from his chest. The apartment, once filled with love and laughter, now felt unbearably empty. He replayed Y/N’s words over and over in his mind, each time trying to understand where it all went wrong.

Lando couldn't, his grief consuming him. His teammates noticed his absence and his silence. It was Carlos Sainz who finally decided to check on him.

Carlos knocked on the door, his concern deepening when Lando didn’t answer immediately. "Lando, it’s Carlos. Please open up."

After a few moments, the door creaked open, revealing a disheveled and tear-streaked Lando. Carlos’s heart sank at the sight of his friend in such a state. "Mate, what happened?"

Lando let Carlos in, the two of them sitting on the couch. "She left me, Carlos," Lando said, his voice breaking. "She said I’d be better off without her. I don’t understand why."

Carlos looked at him sympathetically. "Have you seen what’s been happening online?"

Lando shook his head, confusion mingling with his grief. "What do you mean?"

Carlos pulled out his phone, showing Lando the vile comments, the hateful edits, and the mean-spirited articles directed at Y/N. Lando’s eyes widened with horror and fury as he read through them, his heartbreak turning into a white-hot rage.

"They did this to her," Carlos said quietly. "She left because she couldn’t handle the hate."

Lando’s hands trembled with anger as he continued to read. "How could they do this to her? She didn’t deserve any of this."

Carlos placed a hand on his shoulder. "You need to speak out, Lando. This isn’t right."

Lando nodded, his resolve hardening. "I’m not going to let them get away with this."

He grabbed his phone, his fingers shaking as he typed out a message on social media. His anger and pain poured into his words:

"To all my so-called 'fans' who have been spewing hate towards Y/N, this needs to stop. She didn’t deserve any of this. She is the most amazing person I have ever known, and your words have hurt her deeply. You should all be ashamed of yourselves. If you truly support me, you will stop this now. Hate has no place in this world. And to those companies and individuals who have written those hateful articles and made those disgusting edits, I am coming for you. You will be held accountable."

He hit post, his chest heaving with the intensity of his emotions. "I’m suing them," he said to Carlos, his voice filled with determination. "Every single one of them."

Carlos nodded in support. "I’m with you, mate. Whatever you need."

Lando wasted no time. He contacted his legal team, explaining the situation in detail. "I want to sue every company that published those hateful articles. I want to take down every website that allowed those comments. This has to stop."

His lawyers assured him they would take immediate action. Lando felt a flicker of hope amidst his anger and heartbreak. He couldn’t undo the pain that Y/N had suffered, but he could fight for her, stand up for her, and make sure that those responsible faced consequences.

As the days went by, Lando’s social media post garnered immense attention. Fans and fellow drivers rallied behind him, condemning the hate and expressing their support for Y/N. The companies that had published the hateful articles received a barrage of backlash, and legal notices were swiftly sent.

Lando’s heart remained heavy with the loss of Y/N, but he found strength in his fight for justice. He hoped that, somehow, Y/N would see that he was standing up for her, that he loved her deeply, and that he was determined to make things right.

time skip

Lando couldn’t wait any longer. The moment he finished speaking with his legal team, he grabbed his keys and raced out of his apartment. He needed to see Y/N, to make things right. His heart pounded as he drove to her place, his mind racing with thoughts of everything he wanted to say to her.

When he arrived at Y/N’s apartment, he didn’t hesitate. He knocked on the door, loud and urgent. "Y/N, it’s me, Lando. Please open the door."

There was no response, but he refused to give up. He knocked again, harder this time. "Y/N, please, I need to talk to you. I’m not leaving until you let me in."

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, the door creaked open. Y/N stood there, her eyes red and puffy from crying. She looked exhausted, her face etched with pain and sadness.

"Lando, what are you doing here?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

He took a step closer, his heart breaking at the sight of her. "Y/N, please let me in. I need to talk to you."

She hesitated for a moment, then stepped aside, allowing him to enter. He closed the door behind him, taking a deep breath as he gathered his thoughts.

"Y/N, I’m so sorry," he began, his voice filled with emotion. "I had no idea what you were going through. I didn’t see the hate, the comments, any of it. If I had known, I would have done something sooner."

Tears welled up in her eyes again, but she remained silent, letting him continue.

"You are the most incredible person I’ve ever met," he said, his voice trembling. "You are strong, beautiful, and kind. Those people who wrote those horrible things about you don’t know you at all. They’re just cowards hiding behind screens."

He took her hands in his, his eyes locked on hers. "You are perfect to me, Y/N. Every curve, every smile, every moment we’ve shared. I love you more than words can say. And I’m not going to let them win. I’m fighting back. I’ve already spoken out, and I’m suing the companies that published those hateful articles. I’m doing everything I can to make this right."

Her tears began to flow again, but this time they were tears of relief and love. "Lando, I was so scared. I didn’t want you to be dragged down by all the hate because of me."

He shook his head, his own eyes filling with tears. "You are worth everything to me, Y/N. I don’t care about the hate. I care about you. Please, don’t leave me. We’re stronger together. We can get through this, I promise."

She let out a sob, her walls finally crumbling. "I love you so much, Lando. I was just so afraid."

He pulled her into his arms, holding her tightly. "I love you too, Y/N. More than anything. We’re going to get through this together. I’m never letting you go."

They stood there, wrapped in each other’s embrace, their hearts beating in sync. Lando gently kissed her forehead, his love for her shining through his eyes. "You’re my everything, Y/N. We’ll face the world together, and nothing will ever tear us apart again."

She clung to him, feeling the warmth and safety of his embrace. "Thank you, Lando. I’m so sorry for everything."

He smiled softly, wiping away her tears. "You have nothing to be sorry for, love. We’re a team, and we’ll always be. I’ll protect you, I’ll stand by you, and I’ll love you with everything I have."

They shared a tender kiss, their love stronger than ever. As they held each other, they knew that no amount of hate could ever come between them. They had each other, and that was all they needed.

In that moment, all the pain and fear melted away, replaced by the warmth of their love and the strength of their bond. They were together, and together, they could conquer anything.

[krisluxxee]

HOW DOES YOUR PERSON FEEL ABOUT YOU? PICK-A-PILE

Pile (1): Privilege & Gifts

  Cards: six of swords reversed, ten of wands reversed, Queen of wands, page of cups reversed, page of wands reversed with the two of swords at the bottom of the deck.

Your person is seeing you how you are seeing yourself, as THAT BISH. For many of you, you have experienced a glow up, as within and so without. There’s a reason I used yoga poses images for this reading. Yoga is an ancient and spiritual meditative practice and with that, I feel that this is a spiritual glow up within that is exuding most powerfully as without. It goes deeper than anything superficial. Your person feels like you are unattainable to them now. We all can agree that the best revenge is your paper, but you are proving that there’s levels to revenge. The great Lauryn Hill said something along the lines of “ how are you going to win if you aren’t right within”. Your revenge is getting right within. I must stop myself from referencing words of wisdom and lyrics from other spiritually awaken individuals though it’s a strong indication that a lot of you have evolved mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. Your glow is seen, and your high vibes are felt strongly by your person. It’s damn near blinding to them if I’m being honest.   I usually have a lot to say, however, this time it’s different.

Energetically, it’s like everyone including your person who do not vibrate at the level you do now cannot access you energetically, physically or emotionally. Imagine being on a plane and you don’t have service. Imagine looking out the window and because you are high up in the sky, everything beneath you appears so small if not, nonexistent.  Your energy is worth looking up to now, for all- including your person. This message was intended to be focused on how your person feels about you but energetically I am picking up on a multitude of people in which your person is blending into. Energetically, it’s like you are walking through crowds of people who are all trying to get your attention and access to you but fail because there’s just too many people around. Plus, you are protected by security. You have strong spiritual protection around you that is impossible for anyone to penetrate, including your person. If this is going on spiritually, which is as within, please believe this will manifest physically, as without. Something major is about to prosper for those who chose this pile. I almost want to apologize to those who chose this pile who don’t really resonate with spirituality but then again, for those this resonates with, that’s like apologizing for who you’ve become and or are becoming. I wanted more clarity on the Queen of Wands card and the Seven of Wands came out to clarify. ( I type as the cards come out for those wondering) The seven of wands further confirms what I was picking up about  having spiritual protection around you that will manifest, in reality.

The nine of pentacles have appeared with Judgement reversed, eight of swords, four of cups and finally The Empress. The nine of pentacles is my “ RICH BISH” card and with Judgement reversed, I interpret this as “ you can’t sit with me” vibes. It’s goes beyond your person at this point. For anyone who hurt, betrayed, abandoned or refused to see that you were the diamond in the rough are now finding themselves mentally stuck and transfixed on you THE EMPRESS. ( not gender specific) You will be attracting many men/ women that want to bathe in your light, success, growth and protection but they will be blocked somehow, someway. You won’t even be aware of it. This may be what is happening energetically as I type this reading because if you recall, I mentioned above how it’s like your person is blending in with others making it hard to really pick up on their energy. Your person may become a distant memory soon. They will no longer be able to pull on your energy let alone access you physically.  What a sad day/ future for them. Pulling from my self-created “ why are they mad” oracle deck, the first card out is- they are mad because they cannot ride your wave. SEE ! They are also mad because you will not go 50/50 with them( SHERA7 vibes, if you know you know) To explain that card, there’s a very successful and well-known women on YouTube who goes by that name. She teaches women specifically how to attract wealthy/ “ high value” men. She calls men DUSTIES if they do not provide  financially 100% amongst other things.

Anyway, I interpret this card as confirmation that you no longer think or accept breadcrumbs from anyone including your person. ( I don’t think this is your person anymore but for the sake of the reading, I will continue to call them such) Your person is also mad that they are not the only ones trying to be your only one. It’s funny how people suddenly want you when they discover others want you. But for you, this will be on another level of others wanting you. Everything about your energy and soon to be life is on another level.  I am getting significant Sagittarius, Leo, Capricorn, Cancer, Libra, Taurus, Virgo and Aquarius energy from this pile. (or  9th, 5th, 10th, 4th, 7th, 2nd, 6th, 11th houses)  Lastly, Privileged Lady and Gift card came out.

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Pile (2): I Spy

Cards: King of Swords, four of pentacles reversed, fool, death reversed, magician reversed and at the bottom of the deck the six of wands reversed.

Your person feels like you’ve beat all odds in some way. It’s like they witnessed you going through trial and tribulations and now you’ve emerged into a beautiful/ handsome butterfly. Your person is someone new though they’ve been watching you for some time. They have strong Aquarius, Leo, Capricorn placements and in some way, they’ve witnessed you mature. I wouldn’t be surprised if Pile (1) resonated with some of you who chose this pile.

Anyway, your person may be significantly  older than you as well.( no judgements or shade)  Nevertheless, your person views you as the fool card – young spirited, bold, confident, happy, authentic, honest , funny and quirky, and restless. (someone has ADHD- I’m struggling to focus on this reading ) They also view you as their 10 of cups and Empress. The King of Swords indicates that your person is intelligent and sees you very clearly. He/ She also feels like you would see them clearly, meaning his/her status, money, popularity or success wouldn’t be what solely attracts you. They know you wouldn’t use or take advantage of them and for that reason alone, they want to provide and give you everything you need and desire.

Damn, the Star card just came out with the three of swords reversed, the devil reversed and the seven of pentacles. When I tell you your person has been watching and observing you for some time- I lie to you not. They’ve watched you ( kept tabs on you) while you may have been going through hard times, loss, addictions, battling negative energies including people. They’ve watched you heal yourself from heartbreak, disappointment- the list is endless. Your person has been studying you. For some you may feel like this is creepy but it’s not, I promise. Your person may know of you from work, school, church, the gym, social media etc. Though I highly believe they’ve been watching from social media. Regardless, your person is new and or someone that you vaguely know.

The energy I’m getting from this pile is extremely charged up and it’s hard for me to sit still to finish this reading. It’s electric. ( you may be seeing 4444, 9999 and 1010 everywhere and butterflies) Someone in this pile may be a heavy coffee, energy drinker. This reading felt all over the place but in an organized chaos kind of way. The two of you together are electric to say the least.

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Pile (3) Someone You Used to Know

Cards:  five of pentacles reversed, six of cups reversed, hanged man reversed, temperance reversed, six of swords reversed and at the bottom of the deck the seven of wands reversed.

LIKE DAMN!

This is not “ YOUR PERSON” ANYMORE. The way these cards and energy are set up, I am picking up on SOMEBODY THAT YOU USED TO KNOW ( Gotye Vibes) I literally had to put the song on to listen to the lyrics, really quick. Whoever this used to be to you is mad that your cut off game is too strong and that you don’t make time for them. This is someone who thrived on you depending on them and expressing this dependence in a clingy manner. Some of you may have wanted a higher level of commitment from them and they refused to give that to you.

Others of you may have miscarried a baby ( I’m sorry ) because they were stressing you out etc. For some, they allowed their parents/ family to interfere with your relationship. Then there’s the group who were cheated on and or breadcrumbed. This person never took you out on dates or invested money in you. They always had an excuse/ lie as to where their money was going, making it clear you were not a priority. This person is always working, which also  means they never had time for you either. I also see that this person may have been married or in a long-term relationship prior to you and they haven’t gotten over it.

They made you suffer for their past relationships failure etc. The cards keep flying out,  but I think we can all agree that whoever this person is, you are no longer in their life. If you chose this pile, you may also resonate with Pile (1). Whoever this distant person is, they are mad you make life look effortless. Healing and moving on from them appears effortless. They are also mad that you can afford designer, meaning  your financial status has improved. Lastly, they are mad you left them on read. Imagine receiving one last message from someone before they pass away. They will never respond- no matter what. I know that sounds extreme, but you feel dead to them. Whatever message you last sent or vice vera, is all they have, to prove you are somebody they used to know.  

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THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING! IF ANY OF THESE PILES RESONATED PLEASE CONSIDER "HEARTING" OR REBLOGGING MY POST. I AM TRYING TO BUILD AND EXPAND MY BLOG AND I NEED YOUR HELP TO DO SO.

[saintjosie]

apologies if you’ve talked about something this before, but your post on experiencing exclusion in trans fem circles on account of being an east asian woman who speaks up came up on my dash and it reminded me of something that‘a been troublingme.

i’m also asian and trans, and i’m always really sent off-kilter when i see white trans people idealizing japanese aesthetics and asian people in general. so many white trans people use anime tropes and aesthetics while also othering real asian people, esp other asian trans people. does it feel appropriative/fetishistic to you?

i guess it’s just something that echoes general white-centric society but it feels like a lot of white trans people focus more on their transness and forget that their whiteness doesn’t just go away or get excused, if that makes sense

this is a great ask with no easy answer. the short answer is yes, you’re absolutely right, but there is also a lot of nuance that’s very important to address too.

white people in general have an enormous problem with misunderstanding the difference between appropriation and appreciation. and that applies to appropriating the culture of all people of color because appropriation is a symptom of colonization. part of that is because it’s very difficult to have a catch-all definition that clarifies the distinction between the two because each person approaches the things they consume in a different way, with varying levels of excitement. i simply cannot point a finger at all white people who enjoy anime and say, “this is bad”, because it simply is not true. it would be just as harmful if a white person were to say, “i would never watch anime because i think it’s weird”, because while appropriation is objectively a form of colonization, appreciation is a celebration of diversity. and celebration of diversity is good!

but i think you hit the nail on the head when you say that a lot of white queer and trans people forget that even though that they are oppressed by cis heterosexual patriarchy, the intersection of oppression that exists between oppressed identities and race means that as white people, they still have white privilege. full stop. and so we often have this issue, especially with young queer and trans people (young as in newly realized queerness and transness, not age) where there is a pause in deconstructing whiteness because they are too focused on deconstructing the privilege that they have suddenly lost by embracing their marginalized identities.

and the issue goes even deeper when you realize that people of color also struggle to realize that we often also perpetuate and contribute to oppression of other people of color as well. east asian people in particular forget that even though we are people of color, we do not face the same kind of oppression that black and brown people of color do, and often we perpetuate racism through appropriation of black culture and also just straight up racism. i think most asian people can attest to how often asian people can be racist as fuck. and i’ve definitely seen asian people who think it’s acceptable to make aave and using the n-slur a part of their personality. and at the same time there is an enormous problem with black people fetishizing asian people and latching on to anime and k-pop in ways that perpetuate the oppression of asian people, as well as just being racist towards asians in general.

and root of the issue is that white supremacy affects all of us. EVERYONE has whiteness to deconstruct because we all live in a system that was built on white supremecy, even if we do not have white privilege ourselves. the answer is that everyone period must bear the burden of constantly deconstructing whiteness, deconstructing our own privilege, and doing our part to lift each other up. and while it is true that white people often have the most work to do in deconstructing their own privilege, none of us are absolved.

[cyb3rtarot]

Pick a Pile: Facing “Failure”

Disclaimer: readings are not replacements for professional advice. You create your fate, not the reading. Take what confirms and not what confuses. In this reading, I’ll look at your current perception or relationship to perceived failure & things to keep in mind. It’s great if we can find beauty in the inevitability of lessons instead of fear!

Help a Palestinian family: 1 2 3 4 5

pile 1 ✃ pile 2 pile 3 ✃ pile 4

Pile 1

[Mannaz, King of Wands rx, 8 of wands rx, 2 of swords, Follow Your Own Good Advice rx, Changed in the Night]

Hello pile one! This pile struggles with understanding how fate & time interacts with effort. There’s a complicated relationship with destiny or divine timing. On one hand, when things don’t work, you may try to reflect and understand if that has a deeper meaning. You may wonder, for example, about whether failure & rejection is divine protection, if the timing wasn’t right—if it’s not meant for you. But then the energy switches to pointing the finger at yourself and wondering if what you haven’t accomplished is a personal failure. There’s flip-flopping between where to place the blame. Even if you’re not thinking of intentionally blaming anyone or anything, there may be self-blaming tendencies or a fixation on trying to find a reason for pain. You may comb through your actions looking for an answer and are sometimes only able to see everything that went wrong. This can begin even before the outcome is achieved; you may stagnate yourself through perfectionism or through not applying yourself because every approach seems not good enough. There’s a struggle in merging what you think you could improve with the knowledge that some things are out of your control.

Of course, we wish we could understand why exactly things went wrong because we’d feel better armed. But one of the things failure shows is no matter how much we arm ourselves, there can be a wrench in our plans. Instead we must move with self-trust even when we don't know what's going to happen. This is one of the struggles of being human! Even highly intuitive people are in constant reflection to understand what’s going on. Going around in a mental loop can function as self punishment sometimes, as if we’re forcing ourselves to sit in the corner and find an answer to things beyond our understanding. You should always reflect and strive for self improvement, but this best comes from self love rather than a fixation on failure or criticism. You already have this King of Wands energy which leads you to success despite stumbles. You don't need to perfectly understand everything or perform perfectly. 

Fate, success, failure, outcomes, these are complex webs. Trying to boil fate—and related concepts like divine timing, fated chance, predestiny, free will, etc—down to a few simple factors can lead to extremes or bias, where we convince ourselves we’re totally in control or on the opposite end we convince ourselves life is out of our hands. Neither side of this polarity acknowledges the power of free will. Fate is something formed by ALL people who have lived, are living, and will live, by forces unseen, but also our own hands. It’s complex because one single person is an infinite pool of complexity within themselves, much more so a whole world. Add time and it can be confusing to understand why xyz happened the way it did. Don’t go to extremes ignoring the concept of timing nor dooming yourself to feeling controlled. The human experience is somewhere in the middle. When things don’t work out, take an honest look at what you had control over and how you feel about the way you handled it. Not to judge or criticize, just make objective notes. If we focus on these parts of reality, we can detach from unhealthy mental traps about what could’ve been or might be. 

On some level, you already know this. From your oracle cards and this King of Wands (rx), I feel you’ve already done a lot of self reflection on things you want to improve or that haven’t gone the way you wanted, but there’s hesitancy to relax and move forward. It’s like you keep re-evaluating or planning because it can’t be as simple as trusting yourself—what if it goes wrong again? Yes, it’s true, things may go wrong. But what if everything went better than expected? This is the unknowable which will eat away at our mental health if we let it. But, even if we knew what would happen, it still could not replace our effort, confidence, self love & trust. We would still need those things to make the most of our future and enjoy it. Trust that you know yourself. You’re not who you once were, because those lessons you learned prepared future-you for new things. Be honest with yourself, not because I think you aren’t, but because when you can say with evidence you’re realistically evaluating the situation, you can navigate the unknown to the best of your ability. Your relationship with failure is also your relationship with fear of the unknown. But I see someone who should trust that their honest effort does mean something, is worth something, and then your energy and talents can come out more easily. Don’t be your own bully before anything had a chance to get off the ground!

Also, don’t be afraid to ask for help! Some of you isolate or were forced into being self-sufficient. Other people add more unknown factors, but sometimes that’s what helps the most! Working with others or asking for help is often where positive surprises comes in, safety nets that catch us when we’re low, and we also learn more about ourselves through others. If you can grow deeper bonds with your peers or community, these may be a positive influence.

Failure won’t always come with epiphanies to undo it, especially when we already tried our best. Sometimes we can only understand & manage limited things. We must balance and rest in this knowledge ♥️

Extra Details: more college students in this pile or preparing for college (I see a lot of academia and big university buildings), fear of embarrassment or shyness when presenting what you made, worrying about what you’ll make of yourself, past bullying, writing & traditional drawing, letters, journal keeping, thick frame glasses, kpop, being unsure when to reach out or withdraw, drawing on a tablet/with a stylus, studying arts or liberal arts, blueberries, lots of huge creative energy

Thank you for reading! 

✃

Pile 2

[Xebo, 7 of pentacles, the Magician, page of cups, Justice]

Your relationship to failure is linked to a fear of disappointment. This pile is grounded in the idea of give and take, putting effort into goals to receive a desired outcome, needing to do the work. And I feel when faced with failure this pile may have a relatively quicker process of getting back up, because you know that’s what it takes to move forward. There’s balanced, methodical, and steady energy, a work ethic or skill of endurance. 

However, the symbolism & faces of figures on these cards seem melancholic. I see physical effort to keep it all together, but you may feel hesitant to put hope or emotional attachment into anything. There’s a sense that you let yourself have wishes but only view them as wishes. Even as you work towards them, you may not let yourself get expectations up, because you know even with putting the work in something could go wrong. Or, you might see things you want as a “forbidden fruit,” imaginary, unrealistic, naïve, etc. There’s a deep-seated fear or thorn in your emotions when connecting to desire—because doing so sets up potential for disappointment which feels too crushing. You might feel it’s illogical to set yourself up in that way, yet at the same time, this restriction of yourself can become fear based and less logical. 

There’s a need to heal this because it’s casting a dampening energy over what you do. Confronting your relationship with failure is confronting avoidance of the pain of disappointment. Avoiding pain is normal but can restrict desire and ambition that wants to be expressed. Don’t deny desire, emotionally separate yourself from it, nor be too judgmental. The possibility of failure makes you detach from deep emotion and put your guard up. Maybe you feel a very measured approach will yield the best results, and often it can, but more so when coming from a place of healthy curiosity than suppression. This may stop a lot of you from pursuing connections with others. It’s great if you’re rational, grounded, decisive, but to your inner self this may come off as a strict-parent dynamic where you restrict wants through very decisive planning—rather than directly addressing them. And sometimes what you need is to be a friend to yourself, to indulge a bit, let yourself relax and see the fun in dreaming. You already understand putting work in, so using this realistic perspective, what would your life look like if you had some of the larger desires you feel are fantastical dreams? What would a merger between your current life and that desired life look like, or what would the transitional scenes look like getting there if you were reading a story? And, what are reasonable disappointments you may encounter on a journey there? The point of the last question is not to get caught up in disappointment, but rather that facing it as a possibility may make you feel more prepared. Disappointment is not more powerful than you when you accept it as part of life’s cycles. 

As I flip through the deck I see strings of cards indicating you already know this but maybe some of you are having trouble integrating intuition with conscious knowing. I feel if you haven’t already come to these conclusions you may be at the edge of an epiphany regarding emotions and desires. Maybe because there’s something new you’re interested in with the page of wands at the bottom of the deck? The work ethic and planning skills you have can carry you far, and through reflection on disappointment as a part of the human experience, remaining fears cannot keep you down. Best of luck in whatever you pursue!

Extra Details: meditation on emotions, desires, & fears could be helpful. Revisiting past disappointments to create new perspectives (there may still be pain or disappointment to process, don’t rush it!), scared/anxious, uncertainty about seeking connection, balancing long term material goals with relationships, connecting with your emotions & wants will bring clarity to your intuition, putting defenses down about feelings, letting go of old ideas, spending time with/ thinking of a grandmother, homemade coffee, new interests/ on a search for something new, measured responses to others, lack of excitement/ feeling rigid (or coming out of this), a need for more union or sync within oneself & dualistic concepts (body/mind, emotions/thoughts, desires/detachment), changing views on connection with others and within yourself, resigning yourself to unhappiness unnecessarily, unhappiness in the home or with traditional lifestyle, prominent Virgo placements in natal/SR chart or in profection yr, or receiving help from a Virgo (take as it already resonates), internalized beliefs from family about success or passions—a lot of you may replicate your family’s criticism in your thoughts towards yourself. Interests you’ve put off because it’s “not productive” like music, some of you may enjoy going out at night to places with live music or clubbing/lounges, The Moon in tarot/deep subconscious emotional pulls, something dripping or the word dripping may be significant?

Thank you for reading!

✃

Pile 3

[Perthro, Ace of cups, King of pentacles, the Hierophant, the Hanged Man rx]

Hello pile 3! Your message is about perspective. On one hand, I see you guys have a lot of hope deep down or a tendency to romanticize. When you see things aren’t working out, it may be hard to accept because you look at potential and what's working rather than what isn’t. Especially in relationships, there are a lot of people here who find it difficult to accept aspects like incompatibility. However, when you finally come to terms with what’s happening, I see a lot of you can turn around to the next thing very quickly. This pile is aware that “failure,” or endings, are just new beginnings. It’s very hard to totally dull your “sparkle,” because there’s always some renewed sense of optimism or ability to see potential. When you realize the stage has been set for something new, you get a lot of excitement. There’s an inner & outer sense of security that allows you to make peace with the fact that living means lessons, and as long as you take these lessons in stride, you can keep going and receive new things.

However, your other message is about that momentum. The Hierophant with the Hanged Man rx and your rune suggests that slowing down mentally and having a lot of reflective or learning/teaching time may be a benefit, especially because this pile’s message seems specific to right now. You may hear a lot about waiting and working on yourself, and you may feel like, “but I have worked on myself, what’s next??” Sometimes a period of stagnation after something doesn’t work just drags & drags and makes you keep seeing or feeling the things you’re trying to move on from. However, it's this exact period that's a benefit—those moments are beneficial for the new opportunities you seek. Your cards encourage you to analyze those things—particularly in the recent past—that didn’t work, and to do a lot of reflection on what you wish to carry into the future. You may wish to rush forward, but good things come to those who are patient (not necessarily to those who wait, but those who take a steady approach). There may be things from your past that you've quickly dropped from your mind and there’s more learning to be done. For example, there may be relationships or events you look over with rose-tinted glasses, and it’s important to analyze what actions & energies led to the endings you experienced, both what you did and didn't do, and what others did and didn’t do. You may also learn something from analyzing what didn’t work in the lives of those close to you. For example, you could look at similar things friends & family did that seemed to go wrong if you wish to try a different approach. Your ability to pick yourself up and keep going is admirable, but appreciation and taking advantage of still moments is also needed. There may be some kind of lesson wrapping up right now or that’s attempting to be conveyed to you, and there may be more things to learn yet from recent “failures” that you have not analyzed from all angles because you’re ready to go. Especially those things which are emotionally painful, make sure you’ve not only made peace with these but understand how approaches may need to be different going forward if you’re to have different outcomes. Life is unpredictable, and it’s for that reason that still moments are a blessing, because when things get moving we may no longer have the time, experience, and learning to tweak our approach mid-trajectory. Quieter times allow us to set our destination and plan our trip before hopping on the plane, metaphorically. Whether in material efforts or seeking new connections, and I see a lot of you may be bringing children into the world so that's especially important. Looking into the future is not bad at all, but make sure you’re connecting the past and present into your future vision and looking at things from all different sides. There’s no need to rush forward; life constantly moves us in that direction.

It seems there are developments & surprises upcoming for you. Think of the present as us donning our armor and weapon—self-exploration and growth. The more time we put into these, the less we'll be caught unawares. We’ll be prepared to make the most of things we actually do want when we get them, instead of repeating the past from a different standpoint. There’s a particular emphasis on gaining knowledge, whether of yourself or otherwise, while new phases are in the making. Each new moment is born out of this present one, so be mindful of the energies allowed forward. As we get in control of ourselves and our perspective, we less so need to “wait” for good things to come to us, and instead can take confident steps, as you’ll know what you want and what direction those things are in.

Extra Details: pregnancy (use protection if doing risky things) ((messages about proper planning & gaining knowledge are doubly emphasized for anyone giving birth soon or trying for children)), being mindful of energy allowed towards oneself (those with rose-tinted glasses may have had a tendency to allow disrespect in relationships), breaking cycles, others sharing your developments (example, if you break a toxic cycle or start something new you may notice loved ones doing the same), realistic hope, pushing the past out of your mind due to emotional wounds or resentment (healing/shadow work needed if so), “let go or be dragged,” current Saturn transit may be significant or Saturn significant in solar return/profection year, as well as Pluto leaving Capricorn, Wheel of Fortune, never-ending flow of time, heavy natal or solar return Libra placements, midnight, interim period before change, a need to study/learn pertaining to the things you want in your future, midnight gospel, meeting up with others in public spaces like cafes

Thank you for reading!

✃

Pile 4

[Laziness, Compromise, the Outsider, Iceolation, Sowilo]

Hi pile 4! Your message is about redefining what “failure” means to you. Your cards suggest you’ve gotten comfortable with some misery or discontent, possibly because you don’t feel a life that would make you happy is accessible. Maybe you feel you’re not a person who can achieve a different life, so you resigned yourself to how you currently feel. Or, some of you have built an “acceptable” life, and you’re not confronting discontent because you might have to tear this down—or you might “fail” trying to achieve change. 

Wanting to start over, being different from others, past difficulties, none of this makes you a failure or is anything to feel shame/embarrassment about. I won’t say not living your truth makes you a failure either; everyone struggles and searches for that throughout their lifetimes. It’s not that there’s necessarily anything wrong with how you do things or how you might do things differently without the pressure of expectations. But, you may be compromising on something that’s fundamental to your wellbeing, and this doesn't have to be the answer. Your relationship to failure is significant in whatever is making you feel like you have to accept misery or “less than." There’s a sense of alienation from others through your life and from your own happiness. Maybe you feel your wellbeing is too difficult? The significant thing is on the “outsider” card, a child looks longingly through a gate they think is locked, but actually the gate is open. This card is comparable to the 5 of pentacles in that help in unhappy times is often far closer than you think. But don’t water yourself down for others or their expectations, that’s like extinguishing your flame before it has a chance to do anything.

Now’s a time where you can approach different aspects of your life in ways you might’ve thought of before but couldn’t. Maybe there’s a desire you couldn’t obtain before and now there’s a more promising opportunity. Especially in regards to your material situation, such as jobs, life goals, physical things or finances. But not only; this is a time of general personal development and spiritual growth. Things in your life that you have kept in darkness, such as feelings of disconnection, misery, resentment—these have an opportunity to be purged. It’s a time where you’re encouraged to see how the effort you put in can pay off, like sowing seeds. Don’t be discouraged by the fact that you may have once tried and failed. Life has ebbs and flows, sometimes what was once out of reach comes into grasp at another time. 

Some of you are concerned with what your life will look like to others if you change. Particularly those who are living a socially acceptable life or have something that works practically, or people encourage you into (such as a traditional job), but want to explore something unconventional or harder. This is also a fear to address, keeping yourself caged through others’ ideas. Everyone has their own path to walk and you won’t necessarily find yours by looking at your life through another’s lens, or through the person you wish you were instead of who you actually are. You may have reached goals, but that doesn’t mean you have to stay where you are if you feel misaligned. The feeling's not there to throw you off but to tell you something. It’s your choice how to address it, but don’t repress it. Life can be more than staying afloat. Not even necessarily in a material way, but mentally and emotionally you can find things that give life more meaning. If you address the ways in which you minimize yourself, or kill your hopes before you’ve tried, then your relationship to failure may take a healthy turn and you can feel assured in making changes.

Extra Details: feeling like you’re regressing, spiritual growth or incoming period of inner development, the Hermit/turning inwards to find yourself, contemplating what you want or who you are, setting new goals/ working towards dreams— especially material ones, finding confidence, reflecting on haughtiness vs confidence. Contemplating the universe, feminine energy (reflecting on what this means to you spiritually), eat nutritious foods to combat deficiencies especially iron deficiency, caring for yourself according to your bodily/mental cycles

Channeled image, I see a bush or hedge being pruned. The message is you do this to yourself—how you minimize yourself. We all grow and have to tweak our expectations, selves, goals, etc. But if you try to take care of one plant in the way another needs, you may take away what makes it most beautiful or unique, it may come out looking off. Similarly, it’s true you may have had to adjust your life in unexpected ways, and this may happen again. But, if you do this based on anything except your true self, then the end result—your life, will be more likely to feel “not right.” When you make a mistake growing a plant or pruning, the plant can make a comeback if taken care of. But if you try to care for it as if it were a totally different thing, that’s what actually creates errors.

Thank you for reading!

✃