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truelovepolinator · 1 day ago

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Why I'm So Sure It's Luke

I've been pretty quiet here for a while. Much of that is because of the state of the world. I had a bit of a deep spiral last weekend about things happening in my country.

And I confess that the FB comment and funeral hubbub sent me into a corresponding (though temporary) Lukola spiral to which I was doubtless more vulnerable due to my already depressed state. Did I really have to lose my daily dopamine drip (aka, Lukola) just when I needed it most?

Short answer: Absolutely not.

I had already started to pull myself out of my Lukola spiral by Monday (the other spiral is still very deep), and video and photos of Nic that emerged on Tuesday and Wednesday shored me up until I was back to effing rock solid.

I often see things I don't agree with, even on the blogs of folks with whom I usually agree, and I simply move on most of the time. I don't comment. I feel no need to argue with people in their own blogs. In friendly spaces, I'll sometimes share counter opinions because I believe respectful dialogue and debate are important — and have all but disappeared in this era of instant blocks. And we all want to share information and opinions that help us fine tune our perspectives.

But if they're clearly dug into an opinion that I view as wildly wrong, there's little value for me in arguing with them. Let them think what they want. It's not my job to change anyone's mind.

The jakola takes are the easiest to ignore for obvious reasons. I've written extensively about JD's role in Nicola's life and there's no need to do so here. (Feel free to read my other posts if you need clarity around N & J's non-romantic relationship.)

Instead, the takes I find the most frustrating are from the Lukolas who have lost hope, the so-called "realistic" ones who think that we "just have to accept that they're not together," and maybe even that "Luke is with Ant."

To this, I respectfully say, we absolutely do not have to accept any such thing because the evidence is fully on our side.

Truth be told, I suspect I'm most vexed by these posts because I used to be one of those "realists." In late summer/early autumn, I had fallen victim to the fake narratives created by the paparazzi shots of both Nic and Luke, all designed to imply a certain narrative without either of them actually saying those things were true. I always believed NicLuke belonged together. However, I reluctantly accepted that "I guess Luke is probably seeing her" and "not sure about that guy, but the photos of Nic and him do look cozy."

I understand the impulse to surrender. It's so hard to have faith, to keep believing in something when there's an apparent narrative being constructed in the public eye that tells you you're wrong. It's painful (and feels delulu) to keep believing when you've been let down repeatedly by pap photos you assume are true.

It's very easy to accept a false narrative if you don't have the energy to dig in and really pay attention to all the signs and information available when you look for it. (This is true on the world stage as well, and we should all think very critically about the stories we're being told, but I digress.)

I wrote extensively and in gory detail about how and why I'm so sure about Lukola in my blog post "Nicola and Luke Are Absolutely Together...," which I'll link here for anyone who wants persuasion or reassurance. I won't rehash all of that here, but I do want to touch on a handful of milestones & crumbs, many of which are recent, that make me quite sure about Luke being the man in Nicola's life.

One of the recent assertions I saw was that we need to let go of the significance of the Claddagh ring. (I'm not putting anyone on blast. I can't even remember who said this, and I think it was someone I like, so no offense.) But I could not disagree with this more.

Claddagh rings are worn to represent relationship status more than anything. Yes, they can be given in friendship, but the orientation of the ring on the wearer's finger is fundamental to understanding the ring. Only someone with no connection whatsoever to its heritage or meaning would throw it on willy nilly in any direction they pleased.

Not everyone follows the rules closely. I wore mine for years, on my left ring finger, heart down when I was free, heart up when I was taken. I only stopped wearing it when I replaced it with my engagement ring. (Obviously, I was not following the traditional 4 steps.)

Some wear it just on a single hand, whichever they choose. Some might wear it just while single (even engaged), then replace it when married. Some use it to indicate engagement and marriage when that time comes, others focus solely on taken or not. Admittedly, not everyone follows every step closely.

However, Nicola is from Galway where the ring originated. She is deeply proud of her Irish heritage. There is no chance she would put that ring on any finger with the heart pointing toward her heart unless her heart was taken.

Now, let's remember that she picked that ring up while she was in Galway during the World Tour. She modeled that ring in Chupi photographs, with the heart pointing up (heart taken) wearing the same outfit she wore to the screening. The same screening where she hugged her mother to within an inch of her life, then introduced her mom to Luke. That was the most tearful, emotional intro I've ever seen between a guy and his platonic co-worker's mom, huh?

Hypothetically, could her heart have been taken by someone else at that stage? Well, do you really think a secret significant other — who was important enough to warrant a "heart taken" ring orientation — would be okay with Nicola not only getting the ring while she's physically with Luke (and flirting heavily), but also making that showy, deeply emotional introduction between her mother and Luke? If you were her secret, non-Luke SO, would you be okay with it?

There is literally no chance.

Chupi told us that ring was to commemorate Season 3 of Bridgerton. Again, would a secret, non-Luke SO be fine with her wearing a ring that symbolizes her Polin season with Luke as a symbol of this secret, non-Luke SO's love?

I won't even bother digging into the symbolism of the rings on the hands, but say it were true that she just wanted it to commemorate a special season. If her heart weren't taken, that ring on her finger would have pointed down. She told us the moment those photos were snapped that her heart was taken, and logic tells us that, at that moment in time, it could only have belonged to Luke.

Since then, lots of things have happened. There were pap photos galore, all telling a very different story, right? Again, it's very easy to accept a false narrative when it's spoon fed to you. But gosh, wouldn't those pap photos also provide excellent cover for two people in love, possibly nesting together, who also wanted to keep their love very, very private?

I talk a lot more about this in the above linked blog (and others) and I'm not going to tackle it here. If you don't want to believe it, that's your prerogative, but if you're curious about whether it could possibly be true, I encourage you to have a read.

So set aside the adjacents for now and focus exclusively on our girl Nic. What we know is that she wore that ring consistently through the summer and early fall, on her right hand, heart pointing up (heart taken). Then, in October, she switched it to her left hand.

Again, not everyone follows every traditional Claddagh step, but Nicola is a Galway Girl. If she's been wearing it consistently on the right, then suddenly switches it to the left where she continues to keep it consistently, she's not oblivious to the meaning of that switch. That switch is deeply significant.

Remember, the left hand is traditionally the hand where it's worn to indicate engagement (heart down) and marriage (heart up). And when she switched, she kept the heart pointing up.

Does that absolutely mean she's married? No. As always, we don't know any of them personally, so we can't say for sure. But simple, not-a-reach logic tells us that the way she's worn that ring is significant.

With that ring, Nicola has told us in no uncertain terms that she is in a significant, committed relationship (possibly engaged or married since October). And she's been in that relationship (or at least committed in her heart to that relationship) consistently since at least June (really, late April/early May when she commissioned it).

Will we ever know exactly what happened last summer while she and Luke were apart (Sorrento, Spain, Malta, etc.)? No, we won't — and frankly it’s none of our business (as curious as we may be).

But we know that Nicola's heart was taken by the same person throughout. Because logically, would she really have been so into Luke in June when all of the above happened (commission, putting it on, meeting mom)... then break it off... then, by October, find a new person to be so committed to switch her ring to the left hand? The math just doesn't math on that one.

It was Luke in June and it was Luke in October. And she's still wearing that ring in the same direction as of Wednesday night. So yes, it's still Luke.

But I promised you more recent hints and crumbs to support my certainty. Honestly, @frantastical has this stuff so magnificently catalogued that you really should check out that incredibly comprehensive "Multitude of Morsels" if you haven't already.

Still, here's a small handful of (by no means comprehensive) things I've seen with my own eyes in just the last month that have told me I'm sitting in exactly the right restaurant on exactly the right ship:

New Pink News story posted with an old quote (that would have been approved by Nic's team) where Nicola says, "That's all I want, is the girls and the gays. And Luke."

Both Ryan Wheeler and Shondaland openly shipping Lukola ("get married for real")

Nic's year-end photo dump threaded through with Luke, both directly and indirectly

Luke's year-end photo dump threaded through with Nic

Even one of Nic’s Doctor Who photos, which isn't associated with Bridgerton at all, managed to nod at Luke

Video clip re-emerges of the Featherington women giggling when Bessie teases, "Well, two people fell in looove, I gueeessss," then they all giggle and agree that they can't say who

Both of them unaccounted for over Christmas and New Year's (days that are usually spent with significant others) while the adjacents were both accounted for on both holidays

Old story somehow emerges in which Nicola says Luke makes everything better, and Luke says about the "friends to lovers" story that "that's what happened to us when we met." (I'm probably slightly paraphrasing, but close enough.)

Nicola turns up with a tan

Luke turns up with a tan

Luke comes online very briefly, just long enough to congratulate Nic on her SAG nomination, cheering on his queen, and then he's gone

Nicola posts a birthday photo that appears to be a cozy dinner for two with several hints of Luke, most notably the red and yellow flowers (red is for love; most people focused on yellow being for friendship, and I think that's true, but I also very much think it's for Polin. And either way, "friends to lovers" or "love and Polin," those flowers say Luke.)

Luke likes a Jack Rooke post about Big Boys. Bearing in mind that JR is one of Nicola's longstanding, closest friends, this clearly suggests Luke is getting to know him

Nicola swoops in to distract from last weekend's mess with a new, obviously staged pap drop (based on weather, likely from a while in the past and kept on hand for when it was needed), once again protecting Luke and his family

And then there are a handful of crumbs and hints that point to something else that I've been reluctant to talk about. I still won't get into it here, but I will say that there are definitely recent things that are suggesting to me a very specific, very happy story. These include:

ETA: Photo of Nic with two Dunkin drinks & two straws (drinking for two?)

"Shit Stirrer" tee-shirt, holding shirt just so with photo cropped very particularly (who exactly is the shit stirrer in that photo?)

"May your 2025 be as happy as this potato made me" (which potato?)

Video with the hot water bottle

Big Boys (clearly wearing the ring)

And that is literally all I will say about that. But let's just remember that all of this has taken place while Nicola continues to wear that Claddagh ring on her left hand, pointed toward her heart. Even in those silly pap photos with Jake from Monday.

The only times we've seen her without it were when she wore special, fancy jewelry for events (showy hand jewelry that she could prominently display by placing her hands in front of her stomach instead of on her waist or hips). Every other time, it's either there or her hands are (perhaps intentionally) hidden.

Doubtless some "realistic Lukolas" will read this and say, "But you're ignoring all the photos of Jake and obvious proof of how close they are."

To which I reply, "Yes, I am." Because I've written loads about that relationship, what it is, why it is so heavily documented, and what they each get out of it (other than friendship). Again, if you want to know more, feel free to read my blog. But those photos mean nothing to me because I understand the truth that lies beneath them. I have absolutely nothing against Jake. I think he's been a good friend to Nic, but that's all he is.

Meanwhile, we've seen nary a peep from Luke except to cheer on his girl, and going back a bit further, that very happy looking S4 selfie with Nic. Has anyone ever noticed how much more he smiles with Nicola than anyone else? His actual smile ratio with Nic compared to literally anyone else is off the charts.

So, yeah, it's Luke all the way. I don't know for sure when it started (might tackle that in a different blog), and I'm not sure how many times they've pressed the on/off button before locking in, but I absolutely believe they are fully locked in now. The evidence is everywhere.

As always, I say these two things. First, we know nothing for sure until Nic or Luke or both of them together make it absolutely, incontrovertibly clear to us. So could I be wrong? Yes, it's certainly possible. If I'm wrong, I'll admit it, and I admit right now that I will be heartbroken. I'm not going to front about this. But I don't think I'm wrong.

Second, you are very free to draw different conclusions. However, if you wish to do so, I invite you to consider the evidence as presented first. Especially if you've given up the ship because you're afraid to believe.

Have no fear, Lukolas. The evidence is on your side.

#nicola coughlan #luke newton #lukola #nicluke #lukola is real #my thoughts #just my thoughts #just my opinion #ring truther #claddagh ring #Nicola’s heart is taken

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circe69 · 2 hours ago

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your first mission with simon ghost riley didn't go very well.

cw: smutty, ghosts a brat

the cell door you had been working to override had slammed in ghost's face, and at his attempt to open it, you could hear him mutter a curse under his breath.

"fuckin' hell."

"what happened?" you walked over to where he was, and once you tried to pull on the same door, you realized. you two were stuck in the cramped, dark and wet jail cell.

"fuck,” you exhaled and pinched the bridge of your nose.

"stop copying me, cunt."

"oh go to hell, ghost."

"no thanks, i'm trying to get as far away as possible from ya, baby."

you groan out in frustration and banged your head against one of the bars, the condensation sticking to your hair, and all ghost could do was chuckle at you.

"you're so fucking dense."

"eat shit," you hissed out as you swung a closed fist at his chest.

once you made contact, you knew that it was very possible it was your last moments before death.

simon crossed his arms in front of his chest and looked down at the floor while shaking his head, "tsk," he took a step towards you, "always gotta be so physical," he shoved you back, causing your body to slam against the brick wall.

and guess what? you shoved him the fuck back.

"if you think for one second," you shoved him again, this time pulling his shoulder strap down so he was at eye level with you, "that I'm gonna let you throw me around just cause you want to, you're fucking hilarious. you've got a lotta nerve to even think about touching me, let alone push me back when I've pushed you first-“

ghost grabbed both of your arms from the front of you and shoved them behind your back, pushing your tits out from your shirt and right below his face. he looked down at your cleavage before bouncing back to your eyes, "y'wanna know what I think?" he spat right down the valley of your breasts and watched his saliva snake down your shirt, "i think you like it."

you squirmed under his weight, under his eyes. "fuck. you."

"you. wish."

ghost wasn't an idiot. he could feel the way you were rubbing your thighs together, how your pupils were dilating by the second and the soft pants coming out of your mouth.

"I'm saying all this, baby 'cause I know, if I were to fuck you right now, you'd probably be the best pussy I'd felt in years. maybe ever. I'd wanna take you home and do it over and over again until you're gasping for a break. I'd feed you well. id take care of you. I would fucking love you until death. but that's not who I am, and that's sure as fuck not who you are."

you watched his eyes gaze down to your lips as he lowered his head to yours.

"why not?" you whispered.

"because, baby, I don't fuck women who don't want to. I like wet pussy, not scared pussy. I want it hard and rough but I don't wanna break you forever. and unfortunately, I'll bet you a million dollars that if I reached down and checked right now, your sweet pussy wouldn't be wet. not even close. right?"

you gulped as his fingers realized one of your wrists and snaked down the side of your thigh, "that's a lot of money."

he slithered his hand back up to your waist band before sneaking a finger inside, "isn't it?" you could barely hear his smirk through his words over the intense volume of your heartbeat. you knew for a fact, that someone just lost a lot of money.

as ghost swiped a finger down the middle of your panties, he groaned, "fuck, I'm gonna be bankrupt aren't I?"

"its a stupid bet to make after spitting on a woman's tits."

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sweetiesicheng · 21 hours ago

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mingyu - lights out

word count : 565

suddenly, the lights flicker a few times before turning off. you look out the window and notice that the power is out everywhere. a few lights linger, most likely being batter powered items or generators kicking in for certain buildings.

"oh come on!" you hear mingyu shout from the kitchen. you leave the bedroom and find him standing in the dark.

"everything okay?" you ask him.

"yea, i'm fine. it's just the stove is off," he mentions, turning the stove knob, "it’s fine. i was going to cook something else, but this will have to do.”

"put the lid on, that should help," you say to him. you grab your phone off of a charger in the living room and turn the flashlight on. you walk over to mingyu and shine the light towards the stove. "y/n's light service is here to help you!" you announce.

mingyu smiles with a chuckle, "oh thank you so much y/n from y/n's light service. mingyu's food service will be done in a few moments.

"isn't this the second time the power has gone off this week?" you question.

"has it? you've been home more than me this week," mingyu says and moves the pot to the table.

you nod, "yea, this is the second time. maybe there's something wrong," you say and go to the table. "can you hand me a water bottle?" you ask.

"oh, sure," mingyu replies. he opens the fridge and grabs a water bottle. "catch," he says before tossing the bottle to you.

you catch the bottle and place it on top of the flashlight on your phone. the light reflects in the water to sort of make a makeshift lamp. it illuminates enough so you roughly see the kitchen, but it's still dark around the condo.

mingyu brings over some side dishes and extra small bowls.

"the stuff in the freezer should be fine, right?" you ask mingyu.

"huh? yea, just don't open it. the fridge should be fine too, that is, if the power comes back on soon. if not, then we're probably gonna have a lot to throw away tomorrow," mingyu says and sits down across from you. "i like the light," he comments about the water bottle sitting on your phone.

"better than nothing," you reply to him. "you know what, i bet it's because of the weather. with all of the rain we've been getting lately," you say to him as he starts taking a portion of noodles from the pot. "but this is taking awhile for the power to come back on," you comment.

"it'll probably come back on soon. probably just a little hiccup," he says to you.

"mm. you're right," you say and put a portion of noodles into your bowl. "thanks for cooking."

"oh, this was nothing. we're lucky that this didn't take too long to cook," he replies. "and thank you to y/n from y/n's light service for providing a light for tonight’s dinner," he says with a smile, nodding his head towards the water bottle that's still on top of your phone.

you laugh, "of course. and thank you to mingyu from mingyu's food service for providing tonight's dinner," you say. both of you laugh together.

"you're cute," mingyu comments.

"you're cuter," you say to him.

"you're cutest. boom, i win."

"oh whatever mingyu from mingyu's food service."

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flinny-so · 2 days ago

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As someone with extremely high pattern recognition; I was in a terrible mood the other day. I felt like WW3 is gonna happen for sure and shit's gonna be f**ked completely. That is because Elon didn't seem to get any blowback at all for his salute and Trump reversed all of the little progress Biden made.

Now I think things are gonna be fine in the end because now I see that enough people realize now that Trump is actually gonna do the fascism thing and does not have any qualms of selling out the american people and actively make life worse for every ordinary person. Elon, who's pseudopresident, also qualified himself as a walking civilization hazard.

Everything is gonna be fine, I think, because people only put up with so much and we're already seen how much everyone celebrated Luigi. They're not gonna get away with this indefinitely in a country with more guns than people.

Especially exiting climate agreements, exiting solar energy programs, all the orders he reversed, deregulation is the second most worrying for me.

LGBTQI+ issues of course is not gonna get much better (in particular the availability of drugs, safety of queer kids in school. I don't think they'll touch queer marriage though.) AND let's not forget the constitutional rights of US birthright they're trying to reverse? Crazy. But they are already getting rebuffed for that.

The biggest police union also critisized him for pardoning the January 6 protestors.

Throwing immigrants out of the country is gonna blow back sepctacularly if they really do that. Even conservative farmers are already warning that those people farm all of y'alls food.

These people need to leave office. Especially Elon. Trump needs a puppeteer that is not absolutely stupid and insane the way whoever is telling him what to do now is. (I'm assuming it's the project 2025 guys and the billionaires, you know, some of the worst and dumbest people on the planet) He's a senile, evil man that's a loose cannon. You're probably not gonna manage to topple him because that would mean to throw the whole democracy facade out the window but maybe you'll manage to get him to be more normal (And I can't believe I'm saying this) a little more like last time, best case less insane than back then.

But until then it looks grim not gonna lie and even with the good outcome it's probably not gonna be pretty. This is not a time to be polite. F**k cordiality. The democrats that think they can collab with Trump? They're selling you out. F**k them. You need to make the mfs that justify this evil insanity cry. Roast them so hard that they cry at home and are gonna tell their mom about it. And if they don't stop then and especially if you see them infecting and emboldening other people with this brain disease, tell them you're gonna kick their asses (I say it like that to be polite) if they don't stop. And keep to your word. Sometimes people absolutely need to get their asses kicked. I'm sorry.

Be loud, do not let these people get away with behaving in that way. They need to learn a lesson and at least see that this is gonna make people hate them. And they deserve it.

seeing posts like “is anyone with high pattern recognition really anxious right now?”

girl idk how to break it to you but we are at “that’s right, it goes in the square hole” levels of pattern recognition rn

#fedpost #us politics #donald trump #elon musk

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darkbluekies · 1 day ago

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Your thoughts on finger rings for yourself and your characters?

How many do they wear? Do they mix metals? Maximalist or minimalist or just anything.

I'm gonna say sorry cause I know this is a weird question to ask but I am obsessed with rings and wanna know what some of my fav characters wear on a daily?

Also, do Silas and Edmund ever take off their wedding rings?

I haven't thought about this, but now that you say it there is ONE thing i really think is that Silas would wear rings, BUT for one reason: as knuckle-iron(?). He can't walk around with one just like that, so using rings would be a good alternative. It'd hurt while punching someone. But he would take them off when he's with darling. He feels like a silver guy. He doesn't take of his wedding ring unless he's fighting, because he doesn't want that ring to get "tainted".

Dr Kry? No. Only his golden wedding ring. Only takes it off when working, and puts it in his chest pocket to keep it close to his heart.

Edmund? Yes. The more the merrier. He's a king, he loves luxury/showing off and is violent. Rings meet all his expectations. Only gold rings with big stones. His wedding ring stays on at all times, even when he's beating someone up.

Jerry? 50/50. She would use a knuckle-iron, would keep one or two in her pockets, so she wouldn't need rings for that, but she would probably have a few rings just because she thinks theyre pretty. She's a silver girl.

Hedwig? Gold & Silver. She likes to mix them, doesn't care if people thinks it looks tacky. She has a few rings, but they're small, thin and dainty, not overpowering. When she gets married, she will never ever take of her ring. Ever.

#yandere ocs #yandere mafia #yandere female #yandere rich girl #yandere doctor #yandere king

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shivayagojo · 2 days ago

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MONACO GP, stressed out

masterlist

avaflorence + lewishamilton

Team 44 is proud to announce a collaboration with Ava Florence in our next set collection. The set will feature 44 different statement pieces designed by Lewis Hamilton and Ava Florence, which will promote the 44x95 identity, as well as give young fashion designers a chance to blossom. We are super excited for the coming collection. Look out for more.

see comments below

user01: HELP— they're too iconic ✨ ↳user02: perks of being a 7x champion and a rookie sensation is you get unlimited swagger

user03: Seeing Hamilton and Florence collab was not my bingo list.

user04: SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY 💸 ↳user05: I'm going to be camping out on their website for this release to drop ↳user06: literally don't dare if it's gonna drain my wallet, it's Florence and Hamilton!

avaflorence: Kachow! ⚡️ ↳liamawson: Please have Lightning McQueen merch! ↳user07: not lawson 🤣 ↳user08: I can't tell who he's fangirling more for: McQueen or Ava.

oscarpiastri: Not sure if I'll ever get to wear them, but I'll purchase a few pieces. ↳avaflorence: You're literally the best! ↳user09: Oscar is Ava's biggest fan 🫢

user09: I love how Ava gets basically the whole post, but it's written from Team44 ↳avaflorence: tbf, it was my idea

youtube.com

Porsche F1 | 10 Questions With Ava Florence

"Hi everybody. I'm Ava Florence; I race for the Porsche Formula 1 something-something racing team and today we're doing 10 Questions With Ava Florence... which is me, by the way. In case you didn't catch that."

"HOW DID YOU GET INTO RACING?"

"My dad was a hobbyist racer. He drove motorcycles, not cars. So obviously he tried to get us into racing bikes, but me and my brother always liked cars. So one Christmas, he got us a Go-Kart. We could only afford one Go-Kart. So me and my brother would share it on the weekends and just race around this small street by our house. It was probably the coolest thing to six year old me, and that's when I fell in love with racing. I started karting in leagues and then moved up into racing series and the rest is history. My brother now races in F2, so that's cool... I'm still better than him. That hasn't changed."

"WHO WAS YOUR FAVORITE TEAM GROWING UP?"

"Ferrari. Growing up near Germany, everybody there was a Ferrari fan because of Schumacher and Seb. So, I also grew up a Ferrari fan. I loved watching them win, which wasn't a lot of times to be fair. But it was really nice to see the Ferrari flag being waved in Monza or something like that. Obviously now, my job is to make sure that doesn't happen. But like Seb said, 'everybody is a Ferrari fan.'"

"WHAT CHALLENGES DID YOU FACE AS A WOMEN IN MOTORSPORT?"

"A lot. I don't like getting too much into it, but it was much different than what my brother is going through. Sometimes it's drivers or somebody in the paddock who treats you differently. In some cases, I was denied participation in a racing series. But whatever it was, I always kept my head high because I knew I had people like my Dad supporting me every step of the way, and I didn't want to let them down by quitting. That's the one thing I don't want to be. A quitter. I'd rather try and fail, than be a loser who never stepped up."

"WHAT'S THE MOST STRESSFUL PART OF BEING AN F1 DRIVER?"

"Probably when you're not thinking about the race. You're driving 200+ mph and you have to think about the pitstop strategy, tire management, who's ahead, who's behind. Sometimes, you want to just stop thinking and drive."

"WHAT'S THE BEST PART OF BEING AN F1 DRIVER?"

"Definitely being able to travel to different countries and seeing the fans there. Back home in Belgium, I know the people there, and I know that they support me and cheer me on. But it's exciting to go another country like Australia or Italy and see people there support to you too. It makes you feel good knowing people across the world are cheering you on every race. So, I try to win every race for them."

"YOU HAVE A LONG FLIGHT AHEAD. WHICH TWO DRIVERS ARE YOU TAKING WITH YOU?"

"Probably Charles because he's easy to make fun of. Especially when I recite his memes to him. I've got like a whole collection on my phone. So, it's free real estate in his head. And then probably Max... because he'd start yapping when we run out of things to talk about. Maxsplaining. But I am worried by like hour two, I'm gonna start third-wheeling for these two."

"FAVORITE TRACK THAT ISN'T YOUR HOME RACE?"

"Probably Brazil. It's probably the perfect track after Spa. It's got fast corners, slow corners, perfect places to overtake. It's amazing on Saturday, but even better on Sunday. Plus, like home, it always rains there. Who doesn't love racing in the rain?"

"DRIVER YOU WOULD LIKE TO GO TO A PUB WITH?"

"Bwoah."

"WHAT IS IT LIKE MEETING THE DRIVERS YOU WATCHED ON SCREEN?"

"Weird, but also exciting. I went from correcting everyone by saying 'Sir' Lewis Hamilton to now calling him Lulu. It's amazing I get to be friends with these drivers. Also, Nando is just soft grandpa."

"HOW MANY RACES ARE YOU GOING WIN?"

"Hopefully all of them."

porschef1

Is it a good time to reveal that we have merch?

see comments below

user01: Porsche social media is just playing 4D chess ↳user02: how have they not missed on a single post? It's unfair 😩

user03: pls I'm going to be homeless if I keep spending more money on F1 merch ↳user04: already sold my kidney for this ↳user05: imagine wasting on your life in F1 merch (couldn't be me 👀)

scuderiaferrari: These aren't bad, but they would be better in red. ↳porschef1: Funny how one of your drivers was sporting one of these ↳user06: Not Lewis betraying the Scuderia for Ava already 😬 ↳user07: can't blame at all

scuderiaferrari: Porsche admin, a bet- if Ferrari wins, you wear our merch and we go on a date ↳porschef1: If Porsche wins, you wear our merch ↳scuderiaferrari: Deal. ↳user08: Are we interrupting something? ↳user09: weird way to propose, but you go ferrari admin

user10: Guys, I found the Ferrari and Porsche admins ↳user11: Don't be shy. Drop the @

AVA WISHED she could forgot the Free Practice Sessions. But she couldn't. It hadn't been that long since she raced in Monaco. Hell, she even won in tracks she's never raced in before. So, why was Monaco giving her hell? Consistently in the back of grid during FP1 and FP2, and crashing against the barriers in FP3. Worse, she called the circuit overrated. Perhaps this was karma. The curse of Monaco had split from Charles and crept over to her, tired of the disrespect. After rolling the car back in and settling down for Friday, she made the worst mistake she could: she opened social media. And she saw everything. The doubters, the haters, the naysayers finally had solid proof to call her out. They came out in full swing, like starved goblins seeing blood for the first time. Ava couldn't help but feel this was warranted. She could not keep up with the rest of the pack. It killed her inside.

Fitted and suited for the Monaco Fashion show. It's all decided her on Sunday. Take your pick for Pole Position.

see comments below

user01: Leclerc broke his curse last year. It's time for back to back wins ↳user02: Don't know much P5 is gonna do for him.

user03: Tell me why Williams were in the top 10 during practice?? ↳user04: Cuz it's practice? Lmao itdoesn't matter in the race ↳user05: Latiffi flashbacks

user06: Florence finally stopped getting lucky 🤡 ↳user07: Oh boohoo. One bad race ↳user08: fr her streak is finally over ↳user09: Y'all said the same thing about Hamilton and looked what happened

HAMILTON IS BACK ON TOP. That's a saying that millions of fans around the world were waiting to hear and once they came from Crofty's mouth, it brought cheer and joy to the stages of Monaco. What didn't bring them joy was their resident hero not being able to make Q3 after Antonelli's crash brought out a yellow flag and killed his qualifying. Ferrari wanted both men in the top 10, especially since both drivers have won this Grand Prix before. But now, their eyes were on Hamilton and ensure his victory. Better yet, Ava Florence was not there to steal pole. Well, not quite-

AVA MADE IT TO Q3. She dug and crawled her silver Porsche to every next session. She knew her struggles, but it was easing. With every lap, every corner, she was learning the track all over again, trying to find the optimized line. But if anything added salt to her wound, both Williams made it into the top 10. WILLIAMS. Yet she, the championship leader, barely could?

"Hamilton is currently on pole and with three minutes to go, it looks he'll remain in pole. There's only one driver out on the track. Ava Florence. Her final lap. This hasn't been her afternoon. This hasn't been her track. Let's see what she makes of it today."

"Here we go, Crofty. Turn 1. Not the easiest of first turn. Be careful not to lock up. She doesn't. Now to Beau Rivage. Then onto Massanet... just get extremely close to the barrier and look at how close she gets. She's taking risks and, surely, she has to if she wants a shot at putting up a fight today at Monte Carlo. At Fairmont Harpin, down to 30 mph, the slowest corner in F1. Narrow. Tight. She gets out beautifully. To Portier and then down the tunnel. Crofty, she's doing wonderful."

"You would have a hard time convincing anyone that just ten minutes ago, this girl was struggling to make it into Q3. Look at how she's flying. Green sectors around. Through the Nouvelle Chicane. We saw Verstappen make up the time needed for pole here in 2023. Will 2025 be Ava's turn? Only time will tell. She slides beautifully through the Swimming Pool chicane. And just three more corners. La Rascasse and Anthony Noghes. Ava Florence, the championship leader, rookie sensation, cursed by Monaco, what time does she get today.... POLE POSITION! BY ALL ODDS, AVA FLORENCE HAS FOUGHT THROUGH THE CORNERS OF MONTE CARLO. AND ONCE AGAIN, IT WILL BE FERRARI IN DESPAIR AS AVA TAKES POLE POSITION FROM HAMILTON."

"That last sector was the closest thing to perfection I've ever seen. She gained tremendous time and I'm sure Hamilton is going to be have a hard look at the qualifying lap over and over again. How do you go from struggling in Q1 to pole position? Only Ava Florence knows."

HENRY And that is pole position for Sunday!

FLORENCE YES! OH MY GOD! YES! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!

Getting vintage with Ava Florence's pole lap in Monaco.

tagged: avaflorence

see comments below

user01: How on earth did she pull that off? ↳user02: I was watching qualifying Hamilton's in pole and then BAM 💥 ↳user03: because she's an icon

user05: The lap of the season! ↳user06: The lap of the decade ↳user07: The lap of the century ↳user08: The lap of F1 history

user09: RIP to yet another Hamilton pole 🪦 ↳user10: Hamilton leading the timing sheets gives Ava +10 attributes during qualifying

user10: She's winning the championship idc

MONACO GRAND PRIX STARTING GRID

AVA FLORENCE

LEWIS HAMILTON

SEBASTIAN VETTEL

CARLOS SAINZ

ALEXANDER ALBON

GABRIEL BORTOLETO

OSCAR PIASTRI

NICO HULKENBERG

LANDO NORRIS

MAX VERSTAPPEN

GEORGE RUSSELL

LANCE STROLL

LIAM LAWSON

FERNANDO ALONSO

CHARLES LECLERC

ANDREA KIMI ANTONELLI

OLLIE BEARMAN

YUKI TSUNODA

FRANCO COLAPINTO

ESTEBAN OCON

ISACK HADJAR

PIERRE GASLY

"Welcome ladies and gentlemen to the eighth round of the 2025 Formula 1 season and we are here in Monte Carlo for the Monaco Grand Prix. It just wouldn't be a Formula 1 season without coming to the beautiful streets of Monte Carlo. Saturday gave us a whirlwind of a qualifying, but first, let's a take a look at the track. 78 laps await us on a 3. 3 kilometer street circuit. We have one DRS zone located at the exit of Anthony Noghes and through the pit straight. And of course, the lap record set by Lewis Hamilton at 1:12. 909 in 2021. Joining me now is Martin Brundle."

"Yup. Just back from the grid. Exciting stuff to be shaping up. Monaco, as you know, not the easiest track to pass on. So, tire strategy is key here. All the teams, we're predicting, are one a one-stop strategy though there's debate on which one stop strategy is the best."

"That debate will be put to rest shortly as the drivers head out on their formation laps. Looking at the tire. All of the top ten drivers have to start on medium compound C4 tires. The bottom twelve have a choice to make as we see. Leclerc, Antonelli, and Ocon on the harder compound tires. Our pole sitter, Ava Florence, who had a shocking pole position lap yesterday leads back. I wonder how she'll cope with this situation. Monaco wasn't giving her the best of gifts. Though it did give her pole."

"As long Ava gets a good jump off the line, she'll have a relatively easy time staying in front thanks to the narrow track. Then again, safety cars are always an issue at Monaco. That would really makes pole position an unsettling feeling."

"Certainly, Martin as now the last of the drivers line up on the grid. Here we go. Round 8 in Monte Carlo. IT'S LIGHTS OUT AND AWAY WE GO! Hamilton is already gunning at Florence. Vettel is good off the line too. The two Williams behind. Close contact between Bortoleto and Piastri. Down they head to Turn 1. It's Hamilton so close to Florence- OH! THERE'S CARNAGE IN THE BACK! THERE'S SMOKE EVERYWHERE! WHAT HAS HAPPENED? Up ahead, Florence is still leading. It's yellow flags! And it's a catastrophic end to Esteban Ocon, Isack Hadjar, and Pierre Gasly's race. Hadjar and Gasly will fail to score points once again. And Ocon, after two brilliant races, will be knocked in the first lap."

"It looks like Gasly was trying to get past Hadjar, but he had just some sort of brake failure and rammed right into the back of the Racing Bull and that took out Ocon too. So, the safety car is deployed now. And that's going to help Florence just a bit because it means it cuts down the amount of the laps Hamilton has to gain her."

"But how many laps can you really survive with Hamilton chasing you down. You said, Martin, it is a tricky track to overtake on, but when you have someone as experienced and prone to winning as Hamilton, there's still going to be a shred of doubt in your mind as how you're going to keep your pole position."

LAP 7:

"After 6 laps behind the safety car, we're heading back to racing. Just to recap, Ocon, Hadjar, and Gasly are out of the race. So now we've got 19 cars running in the race. The safety car comes in and there's Ava Florence bunching up the pack. When will she go?... Now. Ava Florence is off. Good restart from her, covered quite a gap to Hamilton because now Vettel will be all over the back of that Ferrari. Behind, it's Albon and Sainz in a battle of their own. The two Williams who found themselves in the top 10 in Saturday scuffling. Out the Casino square the come and spiraling down the Fairmont Hairpin. And look at Vettel relentless on that Ferrari."

"Hamilton has two games to play now. Chasing Ava and defending against Vettel. Very tricky indeed. Behind the, Bortoleto and Piastri are in the same predicament. So, two exciting battles to look forward too."

HENRY We need to make these tires last as long as possible.

FLORENCE I don't think they'll go as long as you think, but I'll try

LAP 14:

"At the Nouvelle Chicane, Leclerc is going to be looking to make his move. He's been hounding Alonso for the past few laps, and now he's got his nose alongside the Aston Martin. They're side by side through the chicane - Leclerc on the inside, Alonso giving him just enough space. And Leclerc's through! Brilliant move from the Ferrari driver, who's now up to 14th place!"

"That's vintage Leclerc, isn't it? He's always been a master of these streets, and he's showing why once again. But he's not done yet - he's already closing in on Lawson ahead. Lawson did not get the gap to Alonso he wanted and he's going to pay for it because Leclerc is charging. He's about 1.6 seconds faster than Lawson."

LAP 28:

"Verstappen has been all over the back of Norris for the last few laps. He's getting a bit angsty now, isnt' he? He's trying to squeeze through on the inside at Hairpin! That's tricky to pull off. Norris is holding his line - oh, they've touched! Verstappen's front wing has clipped Norris's rear tire. That is not good for the Red Bull. That looks like major damage.

VERSTAPPEN I've got damage! This idiot!

GP Box immediately, Max!

"Verstappen's going to have to pit for a new front wing. That's a disaster for Red Bull, he'll be dropping well down the order. Norris seems to have escaped unscathed, but race control will surely be looking at that incident."

"Definitely. That looked like Norris just went a tad too far inside to squeeze out Verstappen. Seems dangerous if you ask me so let's see what the stewards think of it."

LAP 35:

"Sebastian Vettel is the first of our frontrunners to pit! The Porsche team has executed a flawless stop, but he's rejoining behind both Williams cars. That's going to be a tough ask for Vettel to get back on the podium."

"Meanwhile, at the front, Florence and Hamilton are still going strong. Their engineers told them to push for five or so more laps. It's becoming a game of tire management. Hamilton is pushing hard, trying to force Florence into a mistake or early pit stop. But the young Belgian is holding firm, matching Hamilton's pace lap after lap. Hamilton is just a tad bit faster, but not enough for overtaking."

LAP 42:

"Florence is in! Ava Florence pits from the lead. It's a clean stop, but will it be enough? Hamilton stays out, pushing hard on his worn mediums."

"And there's the call - Hamilton is in on the very next lap! It's going to be close as he exits the pit lane. Florence is charging down the start-finish straight, and... Hamilton just about gets out in front! But Florence is right on his gearbox as they head into Sainte Devote!"

LAP 43:

"Hamilton is in the pits - My goodness that was fast. Just what he needs because he didn't quite build enough of a gap to Florence. He's wobbling out the pitlane. There's Ava Florence. We can see her coming now. Is Hamilton ahead? He takes the safety road out... He's ahead! Oh the overcut worked for Ferrari. Hamilton will remain the lead!"

FLORENCE F***!

HENRY Don't worry about it, Ava. We still have a chance.

"A chance she does, but how big of a one?"

"Florence is all over the back of the Ferrari through Sainte Devote. She's going to get DRS on this lap. The gap is mere inches."

LAP 47:

"Florence gets a great run out of the tunnel. Look at that slipstream. Pulls alongside into the Nouvelle Chicane. Leclerc got the overtake done here before. But Hamilton holds the inside line firmly! Hamilton, the seven time champion, showing the rookie all his experience. She took the win from in Imola. He won't have that again."

"Is Hamilton's pace dropping though? We're seeing that Florence is three tenths faster on every lap. So, maybe the hard tires on Florence are more up to temperature than Florence or she's just managing them better."

LAP 50:

"Ava Florence just sets the fastest middle sector of the Grand Prix. She's flying out there in P2 and I'm sure she has plans to get into P1. Look at how she's just sticking to Hamilton. There's a lot of downforce here and she's using that her absolute advantage. She's on his gearbox! And oh- That could've been a disaster for both drivers."

"Florence had to lift off to avoid a collision at Rascasse. That was a good reaction. But you're right Crofty. That could've been race ending for both drivers. At this stage of the Grand Prix, you don't want that."

LAP 58:

"Florence goes around the outside at Casino Square. They're side by side, literally inches apart! What will Hamilton do? Hamilton just edging ahead as they spiral down to Mirabeau. The crowd is absolutely electric! INCREDIBLE MOMENT!"

"These are the moments that define careers. Florence is showing she's not just here to participate - she's here to compete. She just does not care if that's Hamilton in Monaco. She's just going go for it every time. And that's exciting for us race fans."

LAP 67:

"Hamilton's defending like a champion now. Florence is trying everything - left, right, probing for any weakness. Through the tunnel they go, and she's right on his tail! Braking for the chicane - OH! Hamilton with an impossibly late brake. Florence has to yield!"

LAP 73:

"Florence is still desperately hunting for a way past Hamilton. The race is in it's closing stages. They're climbing up the hill towards Casino Square, Florence getting a great exit from Massenet. She's closer than ever! Through Casino Square they go, Florence is right on Hamilton's gearbox. OH MY GOODNESS, SHE'S ALONGSIDE! Florence has the outside line, she's inching ahead! Down they plunge towards Mirabeau, neither driver willing to give an inch. Hamilton's trying to squeeze her to the inside, but Florence is having none of it. They're wheel-to-wheel, you could barely fit a sheet of paper between them!"

"She's picking the most tricky parts to overtake as Into the hairpin they go, still side-by-side!"

"What are we watching here Martin? Florence on the inside now, Hamilton trying to hang on around the outside. She's got the line. Can she get the position? OUT OF THE HAIRPIN, AND FLORENCE IS IN FRONT! SHE'S DONE IT! Ava Florence has taken the lead with just five laps to go! What a move, what a drive! The crowd is on their feet, the Tifosi are losing their minds!"

"Florence has done it! She's in clean air now, and if she can hold on for five more laps, we could be witnessing one of the great Monaco victories! Pole position by a near impossible lap, and now a near impossible overtake to win."

FINAL LAPS:

"And here we go, into the final three laps of this Monaco Grand Prix! Ava Florence leads, but Lewis Hamilton is not done yet. Hamilton's got a phenomenal exit out of Rascasse. Florence weaving, trying to break that tow. Hamilton's looking left, looking right, but Florence positions her car perfectly into Sainte Devote. Brilliant defensive driving!"

"If you told me that this was the driver struggling during Free Practice and Q1 and Q2 on this track, I would ask you to see a mental hospital. This is just superb driving. I know we aren't supposed to be biased towards a driver, but I think we're all really rooting for Florence to win this."

"What's that thing Sebastian Vettel once said? 'Everybody is a Ferrari fan.' Well, everybody is an Ava fan. Hamilton is throwing everything at this! But Ava is not letting up. He's all over the back of Florence through Massenet, through Casino Square. Down to Mirabeau they come, and HAMILTON'S GOING FOR IT! He's diving to the inside! He's going for the same move Florence did on him. Florence sees him coming, leaves just enough space. They're side by side through the hairpin! Florence hangs on, incredible stuff!"

"I think Florence knew that move was coming mostly because she did the same thing to him. She was like 'No, thank you. I know how to defend this.'"

...

"Florence leads by just half a second as they cross the line. Hamilton's pushing hard, he's gaining through Massenet, through Casino Square. He's lightning quick on those corners. They dive into the tunnel, Hamilton's right in Florence's slipstream! Out of the tunnel they come, Hamilton tries to go to the outside into the Nouvelle Chicane. Florence defends brilliantly! Through the Swimming Pool complex, Rascasse, Florence is holding on! Porsche pit crew holding on their seats. Final corner, Anthony Noghes, Florence gets a perfect exit! Down the straight they come, Hamilton's trying everything, but IT'S NOT ENOUGH! AVA FLORENCE WINS THE MONACO GRAND PRIX! What a drive, what a race! Florence takes her maiden Monaco victory by just three-tenths of a second! Incredible scenes here in Monte Carlo!"

"These are the kinds of drives that make you realize that a driver is truly special. I can't imagine the weight of the expectations on her head. First female driver, driving for a new team, rookie, and leading the championship. And to pull a performance like that is just absolutely brilliant."

HENRY That was the Grand Prix of a life time!

FLORENCE YEAH! F*** YES! OH MY F****** GOD! WOOH!

MONACO GRAND PRIX RESULTS

AVA FLORENCE (+25) LEWIS HAMILTON (+18) SEBASTIAN VETTEL (+15) CARLOS SAINZ (+12) ALEXANDER ALBON (+10) GABRIEL BORTOLETO (+8) NICO HULKENBERG (+6) OSCAR PIASTRI (+4) LANDO NORRIS (+2) MAX VERSTAPPEN (+1)

GEORGE RUSSELL CHARLES LECLERC LIAM LAWSON FERNANDO ALONSO ANDREA KIMI ANTONELLI LANCE STROLL OLLIE BEARMAN YUKI TSUNODA FRANCO COLAPINTO

ESTEBAN OCON (DNF) ISACK HADJAR (DNF) PIERRE GASLY (DNF)

Monaco winner Ava Florence has a nice ring to it.

see comments below

user01: HOLY SHIT SHE DID IT! ↳user02: RAAH AVA FLORENCE FOR WDC!!

user04: Only a rookie and already producing some of the greatest wins in F1 ↳user05: She somehow made the Monaco GP watchable ↳user06: She's definitely going to the wind the championship 💯

porschef1: @/scuderiaferrari ur turn ↳scuderiaferrari: But... Hamilton was second? ↳user07: Omg pls post the pictures of the bet

user07: Ava + Hamilton + Vettel + Willaims in the top 10 ↳user08: I think I'm in some alternate universe cuz wtf was this? 😆

williamsracing: What about us? ↳user09: You were amazing! Vamos Sainz 🫶

avaflorence

Sorry for calling you overrated Monaco.

see comments below

user01: No YOU made Monaco watchable this year! ↳user02: That overtake on Hamilton was CRAZY

user03: It's confirmed — you're going to win the championship ↳user04: 4 wins alr is crazy

sebastianvettel: We told you got this. Congrats 🎉 ↳avaflorence: Thank you Papa Seb🙏 ↳fernandoalonso: Hey, don't forget about me. ↳avaflorence: Yes yes u were great to Sigmando Alonso ↳user05: lmao what is this family tree? 🤣

porschef1: Thank you for helping me win the bet ↳avaflorence: Ur cheating one me tho 😡

scuderiaferrari + porschef1

[Text]: Compromised

↳user01: SO PRETTY 😍

↳user02: Its a good day to be a Ferrari and Porsche fan

↳avaflorence: ur cheating on me ↳porschef1: luv ya too 🥰

WORLD DRIVERS CHAMPIONSHIP

WORLD CONSTRUCTOR CHAMPIONSHIPS

taglist: @freyathehuntress @allthings-fandoms

#formula 1 #formula 1 smau #f1 smau #f1 female driver #f1 imagine #f1 2025 #sebastian vettel #sebastian vettel smau #lewis hamilton #max verstappen #charles leclerc #porsche #ferrari

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tododeku-or-bust · 2 days ago

Note

https://www.tumblr.com/tododeku-or-bust/744837858426339328/yes-nonblack-people-can-reblog-id-appreciate

i apologise if i come off as rude and i know it’s not black fans’ responsibility to educate white fans. but as a white fan, what do you think white fans can do to fight racism in fandom spaces? because even when i stumble upon something that reads to me as racist, i don’t know if it’s my wrong interpretation as a white person and if i should say something or be quiet. /gen

I have a reblog in that post that answers this question, but that post is now at least 150k strong with only half really getting the point and I'm not scrolling that long so 😅 I'll just say it again.

(the post was about BLACK PEOPLE. So I'm going to discuss antiblackness, bc that's who I was talking to)

1. Actually share community with Black people!

Half the reason people "don't see" antiblackness when it's happening is because you're not around any Black people in your fandoms to begin with. So when you see what is inevitably racism, you probably dismiss it as "drama" because that's what the racists (!) around you are framing it as. If you actually saw the responses from the party being wronged, you'd learn what to look out for when it happened. And even if you weren't confident, someone that IS confident could use the support- bc they're gonna be far meaner to that Black fan than they'll ever be to you! But ofc you don't see racism when there are conveniently no Black people around you to point it out. Bc trust, there is no fandom space- no space period- free of it. So... Try listening to the Black people that ARE in your spaces! Support their voices, so that you can start fighting that fight on your own!

2. Think about how much antiblackness you let slide, and try to be active about not doing so!

One of the hardest things for me to swallow is not usually the OG racist poster, but the thousands of people who usually agree with them, and then the tens of thousands of others who might not agree, but continue to support that person otherwise because antiblackness is not a deal breaker for them! You might think you're a friend to Black people, but based off the people you hang around... probably not! And we see that!

So you'll watch someone be mask-off antiblack, but "oh their art is so good though" or "but I love their LGBTQ/fandom takes" yeah okay so I see that I am not a part of the safe community that you value or picture, got it.

You have to actually ask yourself, consistently- because antiracism is an active thing, it's decisions you make- "is this thing I'm participating in worth the antiblackness I'm allowing?" Sometimes you're gonna say yes. But if you find yourself saying "yes" far more often than you're saying "no", it's time to admit that you're not being antiracist 😅 and if that identity actually means anything to you, you'll have to start making some better choices!

So, is this person's cool art worth them being a whitewasher? Is this video game series worth the creators being racist? Is this musical worth the racist stereotypes it's perpetuating? Is this person's otherwise cool politics worth them treating Black people like shit? Is being seen as a racist worth keeping me safe in this fandom (that would treat me horribly if I didn't? Are they really my community, then?)? Is my temporary entertainment worth more than someone's humanity?

I think when we choose to be honest with ourselves, and are willing to ask ourselves questions like that, we might recognize just how much control we have over our own racism, and at least how we can minimize our own harm. Bc you can only control you! And you don't have to do or allow the things you allow!

3. Call it out!

I don't think everything warrants a call out. But, sometimes y'all got to be willing to say "hey, this isn't cool, dude". The whole "1 Nazi, 9 patrons, 10 Nazis" thing. I have a post about it somewhere on the CBC page 😭 But yeah. Sometimes things will be right in y'alls faces and you say nothing. And all that does is encourage others with those same beliefs to show up and think that you're okay with them. I really do wish that when you were confident, you spoke up. Or at least told your peers in private "hey, such and such did this antiblack thing and it made me uncomfortable so I'm not going to support them anymore". SOMETHING.

56 notes · View notes

himbosandhardwear · 10 hours ago

Text

Steddie I No UD AU I SFW I Aged Up Characters I Fluff

I have no idea how many words this is, I banged it out right here in the Tumblr app. I was possessed by a demon, I think. Anyway! Behold! Baker!Eddie and Smitten!Steve for your viewing pleasure...

***

"Sir? Your drink."

Steve, startled back into the moment, blinks at the barista as she holds out his latte. He takes it from her, apologizes, and starts to walk away but...

"Sorry again, but, uh, is that Eddie Munson by any chance?"

She turns to look through the pass through window into the bakery. "Yeah. Why? You need him for something?"

"No!" He winces. "Sorry. No. I just haven't seen him in years. We went to high school together. I had no idea he worked here."

She smiles like she's placating him, 'fascinating' that smile says. "He's the owner, actually. His brownies are world famous."

"No shit? That's awesome. Good for him."

He doesn't get a response to that, so he leaves her alone to finish making other people's coffees.

What a weird coincidence, Steve moving to this neighborhood and finding...well, not an old friend exactly, but a fellow Hawkins High survivor.

***

Two days later, Steve is still thinking about Eddie. His goofy hairnet, the flour dusted up his arms, the adorable apron, decorated with skulls, of course. His smile. With the dimples and everything.

"Ugh."

He's gonna go back. Probably make a complete ass of himself.

"Ugh!"

Maybe he'll go just for another look. Eddie won't even notice he's there.

***

He doesn't get a chance to sneak in and out, Eddie himself greets Steve as soon as the bell goes off above the door.

"Steve Harrington is the mystery alumni?! Can't believe you saw my ugly mug and decided to come back. Wait..." He raises a suspicious eyebrow. "Are you stalking me?"

Steve sputters in horror, feeling caught out, but Eddie just laughs at him, throwing his head back, sending his already loose bun jiggling. Steve breaks into a nervous sweat.

"I'm just fucking with you, man. Come here, let me get a look at you."

Jesus Christ, why is this more nerve wracking than buying pot off the guy behind the school?

Because now you're aware of the reason why he flustered you in the first place, dumb ass.

He steps up to the display counter anyway, trying to be unobtrusive to the people in line. "Hey, Eddie. How are you?"

His smile could lure people into the fucking ocean. "Livin' the dream. You? What brings you to Chi Town?"

"Oh, I just moved in a couple doors down, actually. This neighborhood is great. Super friendly, great shopping, cool bakeries." He motions around them.

Eddie gives him an 'Aw shucks' wave. "You're just saying that because Lilly's salted caramel latte is to die for. You haven't even tried the other wares."

He glances down at the glass case. Normally he doesn't do sweets for breakfast but Eddie's 'wares' do look pretty good. "I hear your brownies are world famous."

His eyes light up, despite how cool about it he's trying to be. "I mean, we were featured on a British travel show... No biggie."

"That's really cool, man. Congratulations."

He casually wipes at the counter with a tea towel, the epitome of nonchalant. "Thanks. You wanna try one?"

"Sure." He glances at the selection but there are so many and they all look good. "Recommend anything in particular?"

Eddie bounces on his toes for a second before whirling around and rushing off to the back. His hair is pinned up in that bun but Steve remembers how it used to trail behind him when he moved, as though working with Looney Toons physics.

When he reappears, he's got a wax paper bundle clutched between two hands. "Voila! Salty Turtle Dog."

"Salty Turtle Dog?" Steve confirms, moving to take the thing from Eddie's presenting hands.

At the last second he pulls back. "You're not allergic to nuts, are you?"

There's a joke there but he's not ready to make it. "Not so far, no."

"Cool." He allows Steve to finally take it from him.

The unwrapped package is still steaming warm. It's been a really long time since he's had a fresh out of the oven brownie. He pinches a bite off with his fingers and pops it into his mouth.

"Oh my god," he groans, head rolled back in pleasure. It's like crispy, gooey, salty, caramel heaven. "What the fuck did you put in this?"

"Blood of a virgin. And walnuts."

"I'll take the whole pan." He shoves another bite into his mouth before he looks up to see Eddie watching him, a pleasant smile upon his face and a bit of color on his cheeks. Embarrassment rolls through him as he realizes he's been moaning like a cat in heat for the last half minute. He rushes to save some sort of face. "It's good. Really good."

"Thanks." He calls out to the new girl making coffee orders, getting Steve another latte. "The secret ingredient is actually the flakey salt on top."

He looks down and sure enough, flakey salt on top. "Neat."

"You working nearby? I'm not usually in during the lunch rush but you could always stop by. We do sandwiches for the lunch menu."

"Nah, I'm Uptown. About fifteen stops." Unfortunately, he thinks, desperately wanting another excuse to stop by. He'd already checked, they close at 3pm. He doesn't get off till 5.

Eddie nods, wiping at the counter again, though it's not dirty. "Doing what?" He looks Steve up and down, noting the button up shirt and khaki pants.

Steve cannot tell Eddie Munson he does data entry, he'll never want to talk to him again. "Uh, boring office shit. Tell me about this," he waves around the bakery, "how did you get into it? Baking."

That makes him laugh. "By accident. You remember my...side gig?"

"Of course." The first time he had to buy directly from Eddie, after he and Tommy parted ways, Steve nearly chickened out, he was so scared of Eddie.

Turns out fear wasn't exactly the thing churning in his gut.

"Well, I got curious one night, thought I might try my hand at edibles. Sounded like a safer option to be transporting around school, ya know? I started small, chocolate chip cookies, but eventually I started branching out, brownies, cake, whatever. And they were a huge hit. My friends actually loved it so much we made the classic mistake of eating too many in one sitting. I'm talkin' like a whole pan in an hour-"

Steve winces in sympathy.

"Yeah. Long story short, I met the devil that night and he pointed out to me that I could, in fact, make baked goods without the weed. Ya know, brownies for eating purposes."

Steve giggles against his will. "Helpful."

"Right? And now here I am, ten years later, averaging four hours of sleep a day, but really, truly livin' the dream."

"That's really cool." Steve has always been attracted to people who have passion. Probably because he hasn't been passionate about anything in his entire life. "You should really try to work on your sleep schedule though. I learned that the hard way during school."

"I'd love to but it's impossible. I'm too much of a night owl to sleep at night and I have to be here at 4am, so I'm usually crashing out after work and sleeping till 2 or 3pm."

"Aww, that sucks. If we lived together, we'd never go to bed at the same time."

It occurs almost immediately that that's an insane thing to say to a virtual stranger. Eddie is frozen solid behind the counter, eyes taking up forty percent of his face, silent as the grave.

Steve turns tail and marches right out of the shop.

***

He swears an oath to never return to Eddie's shop, on pain of death, but then he remembers he left half his brownie sitting on the counter and left his latte too. Without paying! The embarrassment is overshadowed by the guilt, so much so that when Saturday morning rolls around he finds himself standing outside on the sidewalk, waiting until he gets confirmation that Eddie is there to go in.

He is, passing back and forth across the kitchen window behind the counter, bobbing his head wildly to some unheard music.

Steve desperately wants to get to know this version of Eddie, so similar but so different to his high school self. Maybe he'll forgive Steve for being such a weirdo and they can be friends. Eddie doesn't seem the type to hold a social faux pas against a guy. He once made a giant dick out of paper mache in Advanced Art. They made him destroy it before Steve got a look but he heard all about it. Five feet tall, they said. Veiny, they said.

He shakes the thought away and steels his spine. Now or never.

The bell dings above his head. He waits. Nothing dire happens. Eddie doesn't leap out from the kitchen, pointing a finger and screaming 'Creep!' Not that Steve thought he would... But you never knew.

"Hello. What can I get for you?" The barista greets, pleasant but by rote.

"Umm. Salted caramel latte? Medium. And, uh, whatever brownie Eddie recommends."

She gives him a look, confused, before something clicks. "Ohhh." She then turns and shouts, "Eddie, your guy is here!"

Steve goes to correct that horrific statement but the loud clattering of a metal bowl hitting the floor cuts him off. Eddie swears, loudly, before his head pops around the pass through.

"I didn't say that," he frantically tells Steve, "she said that. Not me. Dana! Don't say shit like that."

"What? I thought you said-"

"If you finish that sentence, his order comes out of your paycheck."

She scowls. "Whatever." Her scowl doesn't lessen when she turns back to him. "Was that all?"

Steve glances up at Eddie in the window. "Brownie?" He asks, articulately.

"Get him a Valencia." He turns back to the kitchen, only to pop up again a second later, sans hairnet, and ask, "You got five minutes?"

Steve will hang out all day if Eddie asks, but he can't say that. "Sure. I'll be over there." He points towards the window seats.

"Cool. Be right back."

Steve pays and takes his latte and his not fresh out of the oven brownie and moves to the aforementioned table. It's after the morning rush so there are only a few other people scattered around. The closest person is a student doing homework, and thankfully has headphones on. He's pretty sure whatever conversation Eddie wants to have is going to be embarrassing.

His hours old Valencia brownie is still to die for, tangy this time but soft as hell. If Eddie lets him come back he's gonna get as big as a house.

He's halfway through his breakfast when Eddie flops down across from him. He's lost the apron this time too, looking sexy as hell in just a regular black t-shirt and jeans. Still every inch a rockstar even if he's not shredding a guitar. And he's got a little smudge of batter across one cheek... God...

"Hi. Thanks for sticking around."

"No problem. I'm off today."

"Right. Saturday."

"Right."

They stare at each other, painfully awkward, until they both make it worse by trying to speak at the same time.

"I'm sorry about-"

"What did you mean-"

"Oh, sorry."

"No, I'm sorry. You go."

"No, you, seriously."

Steve slaps both hands over his face and whisper shouts until he feels like he's not gonna run out the door again.

"You know what?" Eddie quips. "It's not important right now. How's the brownie?"

He's so sweet. God dammit.

"Really good. Is it orange? Is that what the crunchy bits are?"

"Yeah, candied orange. How's the latte?"

He hesitates a second too long and Eddie cracks a laugh.

"Yeah, that's what I thought. You can't fire someone for being straight but I swear they can't work a milk steamer for shit. I can't prove it yet but I know it's true."

Holy shit, the implications of that... There were rumors about Eddie in school, of course, but you had to take everything said about him with a grain of salt. Just because he's implying that he's queer doesn't mean he's single or that he's open to dating Steve in particular. He decides to focus on the other implication.

"So Lilly is queer? Is she single? I've got a lesbian I desperately need to get laid."

Eddie snorts. "Oh yeah? Wait a minute. Buckley? Holy shit, you still talk to her?"

"Talk to her? I just left her on the couch eating an entire sleeve of my Oreos." He sips his mediocre latte and grunts in annoyance. "If she doesn't get over Penelope soon I'm gonna stage an intervention."

"Oh no..." Eddie makes a face.

"What?

"Penelope Williams? Works at the stationary shop on Ashford?"

What the hell? "Yeah? How did you know?"

"Lilly is on her second date with her tonight." He winces even harder, as if it's somehow all his fault.

Steve just laughs. "Why does every lesbian in a five hundred mile radius know each other?"

"Witchcraft, probably. Ouija boards?"

He pops the last of his brownie into his mouth and nods. It's as valid a reason as anything else. He decides to keep the news of Penelope moving on already to himself. Rob just stopped sobbing into his neck three days ago, and he's been waiting on her to feel better before he tells her about Eddie.

"You think if I had Rob come over and put the moves on Dana, she'd make a better latte?"

Eddie cackles. "Couldn't hurt to try."

They smile at each other. It doesn't feel weird, it feels nice, like they can do this, be friendly. Or it would've been if Eddie didn't open his mouth and blurt out, "Did you mean what you said the other day?"

Steve throws his head back and groans. When he looks back, Eddie is waiting patiently for a response. "I'm sorry, okay? Sometimes my brain to mouth filter is busted."

"No, it's cool." He waves Steve's explanation like it's nothing. "I meant, like, was that meant to sound like...what it sounded like?"

Steve cocks his head. He's not sure how else what he said could be interpreted. Like, did Eddie think he was obsessed with sharing a bedtime with Robin too?

He catches Steve's confusion, leans in and whispers, "I just didn't think that was...an option for you..."

"Ohhh," he drawls. Right. "Yeah. Uh," he looks around to make sure no one is listening in, "I'm open to all kinds of...options."

He watches as Eddie processes this, does a frankly upsetting amount of lip licking, and then looks up from between his lashes. "And the thing your brain didn't filter was me being one of those options?"

Fuck. It was embarrassing right up until this exact moment, Eddie looking at him like that. He feels his throat constrict as he tries to swallow.

"Is that okay?" He whispers.

They're leaning really fucking close together - Eddie smells like cinnamon and Camels - so whispering to stay inconspicuous is stupid at this point. Neither of them seem to care.

"Steve Harrington," Eddie draws his name out long and meaningful, as though that's answer enough. Steve supposes it is, coupled with the look he's sharing.

"Five minutes ago."

"What time do you get off?" Eddie practically twinkles at him. Steve groans. "Oh my god, what time do you get off work?"

"Oh." Steve chugs the dregs of his adequate latte. "You wanna get out of here?"

"Not to your place if Robin is still on the couch."

Steve blushes from top to bottom. God dammit, he used to be slutty, why is this so hard? "Right. Your place?"

"All clear." He flashes Steve a grin, full and tempting. Like Steve isn't a sure thing.

They scramble out of their seats and head for the door. At the last second, Steve stops.

"Wait, I almost forgot." He grabs his wallet and starts fishing out a ten. "I forgot to pay last time."

"Keep your money."

He looks up. "What?"

"I wasn't gonna charge for that stuff anyway."

"Okay... But...Why?"

He shuffles in place, all sheepish for some reason. "I kinda over-charged you for the weed. Every time you paid. For years."

Steve is so gone on him already, he just finds that charming.

***

Later that night, while Eddie is asleep, Steve slips the ten under his pillow.

It'll become a back and forth in-joke they share for years.

saw this on instagram (yes, instagram) and i can’t stop thinking about steve recognising eddie at a bakery and immediately falling in love with the guy he kinda had a thing for in high school but never allowed himself to think about too much. like, he’s always had eddie in the back of his mind since finishing school but suddenly seeing him has him all heart eyes and also kind of surprised with what eddie ended up doing with his life. idk, you can think about the statistics, i’m not a writer (please someone write something and tag me 🙏) but THIS will be in my head all day at work

#this prompt was too cute to pass up #eeeeeeee #eddie in his lil goth apron and curls up off his neck and everything #🫦#anyway #steddie #ficlet #my writing

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epickiya722 · 11 hours ago

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When I tell you I'm so sick of this.

Yes, yes, Bakugou used to be his bully and all that yadda yadda. Oh my gosh, wow, a bully in the story! How dare such a thing exists!

Okay, stop clutching your pearls. Even Bakugou knew he was a total ass and it's not something he ever got away with like that, let alone he does grow up, so chill.

But if you're gonna go that route, throwing Todoroki in there to be like "it makes sense to pair them instead" is kind of strange because even though Todoroki didn't bully Midoriya, they did still immediately start on the wrong foot. I mean, Todoroki could have killed Midoriya in their match but I don't see people going "I don't understand how people can ship them, it doesn't make sense to me when Todoroki could have seriously killed Midoriya that one time".

I have seen people ship Midoriya with characters worse than Bakugou, but OMG, it's their ship that gets tackled on the most and at this point, I see it as a trend.

I see it as someone has to do because they're a follower.

Honestly, it's just getting ridiculous.

If the ship doesn't make sense to you, it doesn't make sense to you, who cares? But posting about it like this and then tagging it, doesn't do anything good.

No one who has caught up with the anime and manga would post about the ship in a rather negative way would be "it doesn't make sense to ship them".

"What if they aren't caught up?"

Even so, does it need to make sense? Is it an actual necessity for someone to have a ship to make sense if at the end of the day they're just entertained by the mere thought of it and not bothering you about it?

Take it from someone who ships Miruko and Burnin and is her favorite MHA ship at this time. We ain't see them have no onscreen interaction. That didn't stop me though and going "Hey, I think you two would look cute together".

There are ships in this fandom that have a way worse relationship in canon and still people ship them.

"I see art that depicts them being cute together." Okay, so and? Are you losing HP from it like some video game character that has yet to move out the lava? Do you grow a horn every time you see cute ship art of it? It's not the only ship drawn out there being cute together. It's not like there aren't cute moments in canon for them. Then stop looking at the art. Why are you looking at the art? If you keep seeing BakuDeku art, clearly... you're in the area. Probably on purpose.

I know if I keep seeing art of a ship I don't like it's a me problem because I have the choices to not follow certain people, block the tag, etc.

Maybe you shouldn't be in the MHA fandom at all given the amount of art for them anyways that's official.

Look, I'm not bothered by someone not liking Bakudeku. Could really give zero crap about it, honestly. I have ships I don't like either.

But what bothers me is posting about it, attacking the ship and tagging it.

We all have our opinions and I believe, good or bad, post about them.

However, people do shit like this and then mask it as "having an opinion" when really they probably want to start drama.

"But, Kiya, what if they're not trying to start drama? What if they don't know the proper way to tag?"

I call bullshit and I don't care. Oh, yes, I sound like a bitch, but let's be real here.

Stuff like this happens no matter where. It doesn't just happen on Tumblr. People have done this over and over and over to the point that it is hard to believe that person isn't trying to start anything.

New or not, people by now should know that if they're going to say something negative about a ship, don't draw in the shippers.

If this person didn't want to start drama then why bring TodoDeku into this? "Make it make sense." That right there is a sign of "I'm starting drama". Uh, people do happen to ship TodoDeku. I even ship it. It's not like people don't at all in the fandom ship them and only ship BakuDeku, so stop.

It's not like this person or anybody who does this is genuinely asking and do what to know because maybe they are genuinely curious and/or considering the ship but first wants to know more about it.

No, they're just being hostile. This is not an opinion. It's an attack disguised as one.

If you don't like the ship, okay. But if you're going to post about it, don't tag it.

This isn't even about BakuDeku only anymore. I see this with ships that don't even have anything wrong with them and in different fandoms. It's tiring, it's annoying and just takes the fun out of shipping.

#like really who gives a flying FUCK about the ship 'making sense'?#does it need to? no it doesn't #I'm sorry but i have run out of patience with people like this #kid adult people who do this no matter the age are annoying #let stop giving them passes about it #blocked you're blocked #just kiya's thoughts #bnha #mha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #bakudeku #dekubaku #bkdk #dkbk

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richeeduvie · 17 hours ago

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✭ UNDOING ✭

PART ONE? // The Sickness That is a Daughter

AN ARCANE FIC: JINX AND SILCO (featuring a Sevika who's actually soft for a hot minute??)

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.

WORD COUNT: 6.8K

Powder gets very sick, but not sick enough to believe she can't help with every little thing. In his frustrated attempts to convince his ward otherwise, he scares her. Sometimes, the idea that Silco only wants Zaun's respect feels like a fantasy, a lie so tasteful that he almost forgets he likes to be feared.

But not in that moment. Never with her.

(Based on the headcanon that Silco only started to wear makeup to not scare Jinx when she was little Powder. Sorry blog regulars had to pop this one out...probably not gonna write more Arcane stuff but I HAD this idea and I needed to GET IT OUT I'M SORRY LALO AND ROMAN LOVERS…tell me what y’all think tho)

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.

Silco never put much thought into how little Powder would feel about his face. At this point in life, people either ignore it or fear him because of it. Sometimes it's a neutral, sometimes an advantage. He makes do with what Vander gave him. The girl only questioned it once, a couple days after he took her in all those months ago. It'll be...

A year and some already. And how he's weakened so readily. There is no guilt in the way Silco came to accept his feelings for her. His child that has so much fire, sometimes he's so desperate to nurture it, but other times, he just wants to watch it burn. It's alright. He'll never go anywhere.

"...What's with the eye?"

He took it as a moment to be cheeky. It wasn't his first day on earth, he remembers what children become comfortable with. It was just...he didn't know why it came easy, the desire to see her, Powder Blue, almost-daughter of brother betrayal, comfortable with him. But it's how he ended up where he is now. An almost father.

He's not going to deny it for the sake of ego. Like his deepening care for Powder, it's not beneficial for him.

If you are to not consider the blooming of his flamed heart and angry, coiling bones beneficial.

"I fell on my cigar."

Silco played it seriously. Powder stared before she giggled. Her knobby arms splayed out on the table as she rested her chin there.

"Come on, I'm not stupid. No WAY you fell on your cigar. Your eye would stink like shit!"

His lips flattened into the first smile he ever gave her.

"Language."

Silco was already natural in his discipline (although with every downward tilt of Powder's head, he finds every consequence for her actions slipping away), even when the corners of himself flashed Vander over him - through the water, holding him down and down and down. And he didn't feel the need to tell Powder the truth about what happened to him, to hurt Vander's blue-haired...scrawny extension. Looking at her toothy smile meant not even a thought of hurting her like that.

Is this what being a parent is? Having someone you never want hurt in a world of fatal things? Why would he do this to himself? Why doesn't he end up claiming it's so he can hone in on her growing, literally explosive talents? Why is it so obvious that it's growing into a braided bond that's noosed around his neck. He'll accept the hanging.

But now...now she's hurt. Sick, at least. In this moment, with the way he's feeling watching Powder tiny in the bed, sweating -- confused, he almost regrets taking her in at all.

How could he choose to feel like he's going to rot and burn all at once at the first, first sight of her in pain? It feels like his own sickness. Who'd choose to feel like death with your body still upright?

Fathers. Even if Silco doesn't think the word yet.

"Powder, where does it hurt the most?"

Silco doesn't blink as Powder turns her body on her side, somehow curled and stretched all at once. Her little, round and bug-eyed - a face he's become familiar with, twists. The familiarity makes a difference with how he wants this over now. He thinks, at least.

"Everywhere."

"Everywhere. All alright. I suppose we'll work with that. When did you start feeling like this, how long was it before you came into my room and told me you weren't feeling well?"

Powder blinks hard, but up at the ceiling instead of Silco. "I was...my throat was sore in the morning, I thought it was gonna go away. It always used to go away when they could find things to make soup. But then I started to get sweaty...even though its cold. Why is it cold? I wanna pull my hair out."

"Your hair is fine where it is. Why didn't you tell me earlier?"

Why did you wait until you were at your absolute worst to crawl into my bed and make me feel like death is coming onto me instead?

Silco noticed that this morning, or yesterday's morning, the way there was no natural cheekiness or child-like intensity, a searing fire that is Powder. What a terrible thing that is. The years will come to pass and the man wonders if she can twist all the things that she is, all the things that will happen to her into something of normalcy. He doesn't think that ideal, they're - she, they're fine as is.

"I told you, I thought it was gonna go bye-bye, like how everything goes away."

Powder sniffles. Silco does not move for a dragging moment, just until he reaches out his thin, cold palm to press to her forehead.

She's burning from the inside.

"Not everything, little girl."

Powder mms. Is it a whine of pain, or a whine of annoyance at the idea she's being corrected? Silco wouldn't know at this point. Maybe one day, when the whole of her grows into something fiery, invasive, jerking, something so insanely nerved, and something he'll always want to take care of to the point where Sevika will see it pointless to mention how much of a problem the girl is.

Silco sighs, eyes closed, ears pierced at the sound of Powder's pained whimpers.

"We'll find you a doctor."

"...A what?"

Silco opens his eyes, head tilting. What? "A doctor, Powder. Because you cannot go five minutes without throwing up, and I'm afraid you'll sweat off a pound you can't afford to lose."

"I don't know what that is. I don't want one."

That's when the man runs his thumb over the sweat of her forehead, wading in the thought that...this - is this really the world the children of Zaun grow up in? He knows it's a hell he's trying to maintain, trying to change for the better, for all of them - so he very much knows that its people aren't going to have the best access to easy, decent health, but he wouldn't have thought it so far that Powder and others wouldn't know what a doctor is.

Unfortunately, he hopes it's her sickly delirium, making her believe she doesn't know what a doctor is. But if not, this is why he's doing what he does, so Zaun can thrive.

Powder coughs. It's nearly manic, all in her throat. Silco kisses her forehead. He doesn't know what else to do because he's not a doctor and might as well have taken his injector and placed it over his heart with the way he's feeling at the sight of her right now.

"We'll make you soup."

It'll be nothing, he won't put Powder in a life where she has to hope that her guardians are able to find things to heal her. That's not a life this wild thing deserves.

Powder coughs again, it's heavy.

"And you'll see a doctor. Or, a doctor will see you. They can only make you feel better. Unless you try to bite them like you did Sevika when she came to check on you, then they'll put you down."

A false meanness that can only bring her smile, or at the very least, a whine without pain.

Powder jolts upright.

"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT???"

Silco shushes, it feels like a smile on his tongue.

"I'm fooling you, little girl. But I'm not going to beg you to behave nicely once they come."

"I'll pull their hair out if I can't pull out mine. And don't ever lie again."

Powder's not teasing, it's an order for Silco. And he understands, being lied to is the worst feeling - next to what his heart wears now.

He wouldn't underestimate the child as if she couldn't. Or wouldn't.

"Alright, I'll remind them and myself to be on our best behavior."

Powder, limbs mangled and sickly face hardened, simply ploofs right back into the bed, coughing again. She nuzzles her head into Silco's pillows. It's only him observing how she's coating his bed with her sickness. He's not angry or frustrated, he accepts it like he accepts the noose.

"I'm sleeping here tonight."

Silco can't place the exact moment when his ward stopped asking for things and started to take them. He's just aware he's never put much effort into stopping her.

"Am I allowed to say no?"

"No."

He already knew that. Powder didn't ask to sleep in his bed when she crawled into it a few hours ago, he had to realize there was a tiny body tossing and turning in his bed at the sound of terrible coughs and snotty sniffles. Silco wasn't dreaming, so it wasn't as if she was a bother anyway, but since she's grow into his home and life, Powder has found the habit of sleeping at his side when she feels like it.

It crosses a boundary he didn't know was there, but with her nightmares, the bug-eyed little face that walks in against the Zaun's night light...Silco can't deny her.

"You already know how to wear an aura of impose, hm?"

"Of course I do. You should know that already, silly. Don't be silly."

Powder's voice goes high, still child-like in its scratchiness. Silco wears a genuine smile that, although small, is one he can't afford.

"I'll be whatever I want to be and you'll be just fine by tomorrow, or the next day."

If Janna wants peace in this world, Powder will be healthy very soon. Silco will come to hurt the things in front of him, against logic, against morals if it means he can release the pit of what he feels looking at his sick child. But he's not in the wrong.

That's only if she doesn't get better. And she will.

"Don't be silly, silly, silly-"

Powder hacks, Silco smile drops. The way she's spilling her words, there's nothing intentional about it. There isn't the intensity that grows with her in weight and height, it's just...sickness. Sickness growing with every droplet of sweat and clammy glance at him.

"Silly. I'm not silly either-"

"One of our people has been feeding our information to enforcers."

He would've known Sevika was coming down the hall a mile away if it were any other night. He only turns his head, hand resting on Powder's ankle.

"What?"

"Everything went as planned...except for the fact there were about two dozens of those fuckers swarming where the trade was supposed to take place. Your paying customer was trapped, it was hell trying to get to him and fuck, I think he was holding his breath the entire time."

Silco looks to the wall. He feels a tiny but harsh squeeze to his hand on his knee. Sevika stands straight, hand ready to point and fist in her incoming ramble.

"You said Piltover's goons would be one less thing to deal with in terms of trading and building all of this now that we have Marcus's dick choked. I believe it, but there is no possible way that what I had to deal with today was a result of the topside's peachy genius investigation techniques. They had to have gotten a tip, I don't think Marcus has the balls to go against you for the sake of his morals yet."

Silco doesn't make a movement, something natural in an attempt to not reveal what he's thinking.

But he squeezes the tiny, clammy hand over his.

"You sound right. So be right. You'll find out who it is and bring them to me, and you'll get your due for today."

There is a sudden boiling of rage at the idea someone is betraying him. Again, only this time, it'll be so much easier to bring whoever the rat is to justice. So, he won't put so much of his feeling, said rat doesn't deserve his anger. He won't rage in front of Powder.

"We need your...recognizable personality. Some locals took advantage of the situation and stole twenty cases of Shimmer."

"Are you-" Silco stifles his own words. Still, the ability to control his anger in situations like this for Powder hasn't come naturally just yet. "Twenty? The enforcers were the problem. The rat is the problem, but also the fact you can't stop addict gutter trash from thieving our supply?"

"Not gutter trash, Silco. A mid-level gang, you could almost call them an organization."

"Who are you calling gutter trash-"

"Powder, rest."

Sevika shrugs harshly, she might as well act like a child herself and roll her eyes.

"...I'm not calling them gutter trash, that's the whole damn point, kid-"

"She's sick, Sevika."

"Yeah, no shit. She's sicker than before. Her immune system has made her even more of a problem for you, who knew-"

Silco stands. His movement is a as quick as an impulse and his fist is as tight as the way Powder held him the day he found her.

"Sevika, do you forget yourself? When did it become so easy for you to allow yourself excuses. An organization? Oh my. What are we to do but...oh, b-but shiver and crawl into our favorite hiding spaces?" He rolls his shoulders. "Will you continue to lessen your failures by blowing up the egos of our competitors? Or will you do your job and burn them in flame and duty to get back what our networking customers have paid us?"

Sevika stares. Her silence means Silco's harsh, teething words were successful. Productive. As the way of a boss. Her hand drops.

"That's why I need you. You don't think bloodshed was my first thought? It's easy, it gets the job done, but yeah...they're an organization. We get the Shimmer back with blood on our hands and we have the issue of their surviving crew coming after us."

The woman, brown-skinned and harsh-eyed, takes a step or two closer. Silco does not miss the way her sights flicker behind him at Powder's coughing.

No, not coughing.

Rasping. Rattling.

Silco turns to Powder in the bed, sitting back down as quickly as he stood up. His palm engulfs the skin of her cheek.

"Powder, breathe. Cough and breathe. What is wrong?"

"...My throat," The little blue one blinks hard, as if her vision isn't quite there when she doesn't. "My lungs are being silly."

She giggles herself into more rasping. Silco's mouth parts, worry flared at the nose and in the way his usually slicked-back hair falls over. Of course, he doesn't have it gelled in bed. Powder likes to pull on it sometimes when she has sleepy questions concerning dreams or memories. Things that frustrate him in the night, things that are answered with "Why don't you go to bed and figure it out yourself?"

But Silco wants to strangle the feeling at the pit of his chest, the feeling -- the need to make sure she doesn't fall asleep. Why would he not want to her to rest when she's like this?

That's only if something this sickly would make sure she doesn't wake up again, and the thought eats away at me, as if she isn't just a girl I took in only a year ago, my life would go back to what it was before.

"Powder. How about you look at me, hm? What's wrong? Will you tell Silco what's wrong? Powder."

No. No, it wouldn't.

"...We don't have the image or the name right now. You know that, you know we can't just kill whoever we want and expect Zaun to fear to the point of submission. We need time for that. We need to play the waiting game. You go into their spot, make a deal of long-term trading for the twenty cases. They'll see that's a better investment than twenty cases now. We play the submissive for now, and then...we burn them. We burn them when your name grows with whatever empire you fantasize about."

Whatever Sevika's saying, suggesting - Silco knows she's right. It's why she's his number one in his mission, his dream for Zaun. But her plan isn't colored right in his head, it's washed out by the little one. He feels no guilt or frustration over it.

"Are you even listening to me?"

"Fine. But not tonight."

He can feel Sevika's eyes widen and body shrug up in her own frustration.

"Not tonight? They could scab all the supply by tomorrow!"

"It doesn't matter how many cases we get back, does it?" It's venom on the man's tongue. He won't regret it later. "We'll be selling it back to them in your plan of long-term tradings and dealings. So yes. Not tonight. Sniff out the rat and go. Before I change my mind just to punish your failings of today."

Silco press the back of his palm to Powder's cheek and forehead. If she was a fire just ten minutes ago, there's a hell inside her now.

She whimpers. He shushes.

"When I tell you she's becoming a problem, half of the time, I don't mean that as an insult to her. And you know that."

Silco does, but he won't admit it to the one-armed woman who does mean it as an insult to Powder the other half of the time.

"If her fever's so high to the point where she can't understand what's being said around her, then we should've gotten a doctor hours ago. But you can let her rest. She's not going to die within the three hours you're gone-"

"Sevika. Do not assume what I'm thinking. It isn't smart. Nor needed."

"I can help."

Somehow - and suddenly, Powder's sitting up. She almost falls over, she would've if Silco didn't hold her by the shoulders. He squeezes them, head coming lower.

She can barely hold her own head up, let alone her whole body.

"We can all go. We don't have to wait for a millionnnn years, Sevika. That's stupid. And I do know what's being talked around me. I know because I can tell you that we can just make em' go.....boom."

He didn't think he'd have to deal with Powder's need to be needed tonight. The vomit, the rotting fear, and the coil of seeing her sick, something going wrong with the deal? Yes, he could handle and assume all those things would be things to deal with, but the little girl's so sick that Silco didn't possibly think she'd manage to bring up her extreme desire to be useful, to have anything to do if it means her guardian trusts her.

He doesn't know when he noticed Powder's need to be needed, but it's trickled into the business end of his life. Always the little girl asking for him to bring her bombs along just in case they're needed, and she's always hoping things get dire enough that they will be.

Maybe his feelings will change later on, but there's nothing much he feels comfortable with having her do. To pick her satisfaction over her safety is something Silco has done on more one occasion, but not tonight.

"You've got to be kidding me."

"Powder, you have to rest for when the doctor comes. And what has happened tonight...one day,"

It feels natural, need to lower his head more and press his forehead against hers. Blue against black.

"One day, you'll set every fire that is needed. But not tonight. That doesn't mean your work is put to waste...but you need to rest."

"...No. I can go. I can bring the bombs I showed you, I can-"

"No. You can't. I think you're aware of that, child-"

Even though she's a sickly sixty-pounder, Silco finds it difficult to hold her down by the shoulders when she fights against him.

"No! I can help, I promise! Do you think I'm gonna-I'm gonna ruin everything?!"

"No, Powder. I don't doubt that you can be of use, but you're sick, and we're not going tonight anyhow."

His convincing feels genuine, it feels like a second talent, but Powder doesn't take. She squirms - Silco's nearly thankful Sevika doesn't take this moment to mutter or sigh, his frustration boils with every weak fist his child throws at him.

"You're lying! You think I'm gonna ruin everything!"

"I never said that, who's the liar now? Is it still me? You-"

He exhales low when trying to put her down into the bed. "You need rest. You know everything hurts, you know you can barely get out of my bed. You're not stupid, Powder, so stop pretending you are."

"You're only not going tonight because of me! I'm already ruining it! I don't want to! I promise I don't! I can stop being sick-"

She's right about why Silco has no thought of leaving tonight. Sevika might agree with the child for the first time since she's taken home here.

"Powder. Enough."

Her head jolts suddenly, off to side...as if something on the bed has interrupted her breaking tantrum. It happens sometimes, she'll be talking to him, it's a conversation that's not turning to be an enjoyable one, and then...she'll be looking past him, or behind herself - like someone's shouting her name, as if she can see ghosts.

Who doesn't? But if Silco were to turn back to see whatever Powder's looking at, he always thinks he'll see a monster of hell himself. That's how real Powder's tension comes to when she's like this.

"Shut up! Shut up! I know I am! I'm trying not to! That's why I want to go! Aren't you listening to me?!"

She breaks free from Silco's grasp, pushing her body back into the headboard. It sounds harsh. All so harsh and pained for a girl who shouldn't even be sitting upright.

What she's never done when she's like this is talk. Silco doesn't think she's screaming at him.

"Go away! Get away from us!"

This girl is so much more than he could imagine. It's the worst thing. The best thing. He'll see. It doesn't matter anyhow.

But here, it's the worst. It's Powder terrified and rageful at whatever's colored the room, whatever she can only see. He can admit it. He doesn't have the faintest idea of what to do. But he needs to see her stop screaming, stop acting like she's in pain.

His heart can't handle it.

"You know what? I'll call a doctor."

Sevika's off in quick, heavy footsteps. Silco runs his hand through his hair, standing up and over Powder.

"Powder. That's enough. Whatever you're hearing, ignore it. You need rest, it's no use..." He couldn't know now. He'll have to learn, and still, he won't regret this. This girl, even if her insecurities kill him with a heartbreak he would have never had in his lifetime. "Arguing with them. It's pointless."

"Just take me with you! Please." Powder puts her hand over hear ears. "Or at least my bombs? Please!"

"No. I told you. I'm not going. That is final. And do not make this about you and your false ideas of destruction. I choose to stay. You are my responsibility. That is not a fault. It is a fact. I get to decide what I prioritize. Not Sevika. Not you. Do you understand?"

Tears fall from her grey bug eyes. It's only his frustration that allows Silco to not turn into a pond at the sight. He stands tall.

The order gets the girl to look at him, it feels like a stand-off. Not just between him and her.

And she's lost when she flinches, eyes squeezing shut with all the frustration her little body can hold.

"SHUT UP! THEY'RE SAYING YOU'RE LYING! THAT YOU'RE A LIA-"

"THAT'S ENOUGH!"

Silco, in the piercing silence, doesn't realize how close he's gotten to Powder's face in his shout. Their noses nearly touch.

Her eyes are open, only to flinch again when she stare back into his. It's not the air she's yelled into. It's him, it's all him.

He's sure of it when Powder attempts to look him in the eyes - the eye again, only to whimper and turn away, like something horrible will happen if she's to stare at it for too long.

It's a fatal whimper, a fatal avoidance of him and the eye, the monstrosity he's come to embrace at his iris, at his soul...it's fatal. It kills whatever strength he had to distance himself from her.

It's fatal to his strength in general. He's hurt. Janna forbid, Janna who hates his soul so, he's hurt at her fear.

"Powder. Look at me."

There was a point after Vander's betrayal, after his recovery that Silco couldn't dare to look at a mirror. He despised what his brother in arms turned his face into, but no...in a way, he can thank the false friend for what he did. The breaking and poisoning of his eye only revealed what Silco was underneath.

A body to be imposing. Feared. Respected. All for the man who wanted to see Zaun freed from Piltover. But for the first time since, Silco can't handle the thought of being seen a monster.

Not with his little one.

It's grating, the growing panic at the way she won't look at him.

"Will you look at the man who wants to give you everything?"

It's the first time he's admitted it by word and not just by thought. He gets down on one knee, inhaling sharp when Powder flinches under his hand touching her shoulder.

She lies flat on the bed, turning over. They sit in the heavy silence for a bit. Silco, smooth in word as he is, can't do much but curse his panic and hurt.

"I want to give you everything. Will you let me, Powder? Will you let the old man give you everything you want?"

She wants to be needed. Trusted. He'll find a way, not knowing that he's never had the same desire - except with her.

"...A doc's coming. One of the...medicinal kind, if you understand what I'm saying."

Silco closes his eyes when he hears the rasping grow from Powder again.

"Did you hear Sevika? Someone's coming to make sure you feel better. You'll feel better, and you'll stop scaring me so, hm? We'll stop scaring each other."

He sighs when the only response is more rasping, his forehead falls against her back. Her shirt is cold with sweat.

The three of them fail to move until Silco half-heartedly decides it's time to fall away from the girl after a waiting minute or so, give her some time alone before the doctor comes. But it's possible she won't be alone, he doesn't know how to fix that. Except to be the real thing in the room with her.

"Those types of healers, they're vials are expensive."

Silco stands and turns to Sevika, already at the doorway with his arms very, very slightly bend at his sides. "That concerns me how?"

"Kids get sick. It's not the end of the world, she might be better by tomorrow if you knock her out right now."

Silco will not accept the word might when it comes to Powder. Never.

"You can go, if you want."

He puts his hands behind his back. Sevika's brow furrows.

"What?"

"You don't need me, only my word. If you want to be fun with it, play it as if you're going behind my back. I'm sure growing drug empires that happen to be made of gutter trash don't appreciate loyalty as much as I do."

Silco leaves her there, no care the woman's in his personal chambers. He needs to be sure the girl will never come to fear him again, because what happened tonight can never happen again.

There's not enough people in his path to bury the rage in if it does.

For now, it's a wall when he turns the corner. He can't know Sevika keeps herself watching Powder's rattling body curled on his bed.

She sighs, walking over. She could know how the tiny, blue-haired soul of sickness and pale-born tragedy blinks in confusion. She knows the weight creaking on the bed isn't Silco's.

"I know what it's like to be a daughter, kid. Most women do. Sometimes...sometimes daughters are problems. You can't beat it. And it doesn't mean anything to the people who love you most of the time. You'll see." Sevika leans forward, elbows on her knees. "What I'll have to deal with that man in the years to come if he doesn't make the right decision of booting you out of our lives is what you'll see so clearly. You'll be so fucking happy. Peached. Watch."

Sevika looks down. Because fathers never make the right decision. They never care about the problem that is a child that latches onto you and pulls down into the water until your lungs drown. They don't even think to regret it when it becomes their end.

It'd be beautiful if it wasn't so stupid.

"I hope when you get better, you make it so you're less of a problem for me. Hopefully, all this sickness is making you feel for a more grateful approach to what you have."

Sevika gets up, bed creaking under her again.

"You better not tell Silco I sat on his bed."

She leaves in silence, both in lack of word and thought. Powder curls.

"I will."

✭・.・✫ ✭・.・✫ ✭・.・✫ ✭・.・

Silco sits in his chair, holding up the compact. He can't remember the last time he cared to use this. He stares into the orange flame of his eye, blinking at the mirror.

There's no embarrassment when powdering on the foundation. He simply covers the rot of his eyelid and cheek. If this is what it takes for Powder to not be afraid of him, then so be it. It doesn't even matter if it was only because the situation was a cocktail of anger and already well-born fear. He won't take the chance.

Silco can't waste his time remembering when he'd be so strong to have never cared in the first place. He can't trust little Powder to stay strong at the sight of his scar, but he can let her know he is to be trusted. Always.

He patters it along the skin until it almost looks like...the face of an approachable man. Huh.

"Ta-da."

There's no tone but a lack there of in his voice. He stands up, taking his injector out of his pocket and into the hall.

The doctor, the healer said Powder was infected with a quick-acting virus, nothing too dangerous as long as the needed medicine is regularly given over the course of a few days. Silco didn't take it with smiles and praise. No, not when the little one was out of it for the entire check-up. He trusted the doctor to be right, but it didn't change the fact that seeing her so ill meant a loss of logic on his head and heart.

Silco, on his way to his room, stops at the doorway of Powder's. It's a moment that sits with him.

He opens the door, looking at the colored, messy space that is hers. It's decorated with drawings (the walls and papers all over the floor). There's no chance Vander ever thought to teach her to make a bed. Silco's not sure he could get her to learn now.

But the bombs strewn about the floor are what truly belongs to the girl's mind. With every passing day and chance he takes on her, Silco can see the fire of her brain, what destruction she's able to take on with every creation.

"You, you, you, little girl."

It's a prize. Her mind is prize. There is even no even when it comes to Powder and her mind, there is not fault he can accept with a "despite". No, it's just her that he'll watch grow into something bigger than what he could know now.

He picks up one of her bombs, studies it in the light of Zaun. The room's getting cramped, he'll have to find her a space for her toys.

The one he's picked up is pink, butterflies and monkeys doodled all over what could kill an entire building of people with a pull of its string. What's under his shoe is a drawing.

Of him. Or he thinks. It's obvious her true talent lies in her explosives. But it's a man suited in red and black, one eye bright with orange and hair pushed back.

Silco does not smile, he just picks the drawing up. He folds it into his pocket. He leaves Powder's room, her bomb in one hand and the injector in the other.

"Janna! Silco, sorry."

Sevika's always in a hurry, she's nearly slammed into him on his way out into the hall.

"Gonna get rid of the kid with her own stuff? I never mentioned to be that cruel-"

"I tell you. Do not forget yourself." The woman stills, licking her lips. It's defeat on her face. "You are going?"

"Yeah. I'm going. And I thought about your jab. It works. If I pretend this is me going behind your back, they might feel inclined to not pull this shit again when their dealings gotta be dealt under your nose."

Silco smirks, although half of his face can't give into his knowing amusement. "That is a benefit. Yes. But there's been a change of plans." He hands Sevika the bomb. "You'll play for a moment or two, let them think they're on top. Everyone deserves something like that before they're blown into mist."

Sevika's head jolts in a tilt.

"Wait. No. That's not what we agreed. That goes against everything about what we planned-"

"What you came up with. And it was the best idea of the hour. But I thought on it...you want the name, Sevika? You'd like our image seared into the minds of our enemies, present and eventual?"

Silco closes her palm over Powder's creation.

"You give them a show."

The woman can't bear to look at him. Silco can't bear to care. "We don't need to play waiting games when we have ticking time bombs. Any Zaunite organization with half a brain won't think to do us misjustice after it's shown we’ll blow any wrongdoers to pieces. And if they do end up at the door with all those misjustices...see the previous statement."

Silco's off to his room, there's no argument to be lost on him there. His hand tightens over his injector when he reaches the door.

He does understand wanted to be needed to certain extents. Zaun did not ask for him specifically in their quest for freedom, he put himself in the role of a revolutionary because he had to.

His understanding, his need to see Powder happy is why he turns the injection device over in his hand as he pushes the door open.

He creeps into his own bed, careful not to wake the girl with a bounce and tumble out of it. He leans up against the headboard, hands on his lap with his legs straightened out in his sitting up.

He looks to the sleeping child beside him.

"Powder. I have something for you to do for me."

Silco's aware he's stated that she should be asleep. But assuming a restless little girl is awake instead of off in a dream is the smart thing.

"M' not Powder."

"No? Who are you then?"

Powder, or apparently not-Powder, rolls her head. Maybe she's sleeptalking through her dreams, actually.

"M' a...Jinx. M' Jinx. No Powder."

Silco's head leans back, eyes still on her. "Ah, I see. Or...we'll see about that. Jinx or Powder, I have something for you." He watches her turns over, eyes close, palms rested into a gentle fist.

"Sevika sat on your bed."

Most definitely sleeptalking a dream. He taps her nose. Her eyes blink open. For the sake of his heart, he'll ignore the drying tears.

"Would you like to help me with my eye?"

Powder blinks again, this time in confusion. "Your eye? It looks..."

The man lets head tilt down at her. "It looks what?"

Cleaner.

Powder sits up. "Nothing. I don' know. What about your eye?"

"You've seen me with this before, yes?" Silco gestures to his injector. She nods. "This is what I use to put medicine into my eye. I need it to lessen the pain. I can do it, but lately I've been struggling. These types of device require steady hands, accurate hands. Would you like to do it for me? For tonight?"

He nearly regrets this whole ordeal when Powder jumps up as if her lungs weren't rattling away a hour ago.

"Powder! Calm yourself, this is not what you do to get you better. Do you remember what the doctor said-"

Powder snatches the injector from Silco, studying it over above her head. "Duh! I can help-" She begins to hack.

Maybe this should've been saved for the morning, just like how he won't tell her about the use of her bomb until then. When she can fully take in the praise and pride of the moment.

"Powder. Breathe. This can wait til tomorro-"

"NO!"

Powder sniffles after her short but powered cry, like even she understand that was an intensity she shouldn't have allowed herself.

"I can do it now and then we can go to bed."

We. Silco's lips thin like he'll smile.

"Alright. Come closer, follow my instructions."

She does, her knees press into his thigh. When he's guiding her tiny, still clammy hand over his eye socket, Silco realizes it isn't the brightest idea to give a small child a needle to inject into his literal eyeball.

But it'll be her satisfaction over his safety now, he supposes.

"You place it right here, just let it rest for a bit. And then you'll push this." The man puts Powder's other hand over the end of the injector. "It works as a syringe, if you've ever seen one."

"I used to find them on the street all the time! Vander almost knocked out when I stepped on one and started to feel funky. Turned out it was just something called a coincidence. It was just dinner from the night before."

Huh. Her mentions of Vander have lessened, but not died not. Silco doesn't know how to feel about that.

"You have a habit of making your guardians take care of your terrible illnessness?"

But he will not deny her the mention at this time.

Powder shrugs.

"I guess. Now. Do I push in?"

Silco prepares himself, breathing in. "When you're ready-"

And maybe the girl's never not ready, because she just needled his eye with no hesitation, but it was precise. Silco grips the sheets as the shimmer bleeds into him. He won't scare Powder in his rage or in his pain. He does not grunt or groan.

After the pain subsides, Silco looks to Powder staring up at him. Waiting. Nervous. Sitting on her calves.

"...Did I do good?"

"You did very well. You're a natural."

He goes to grab his injector from the girl, but she pulls it to her chest. She ploofs on the bed, eyes already closing.

"Goodnight, Silco."

Silco blinks. He didn't think to make it a patterned thing for her, just tonight - to make her feel better after his slew of mistakes and whatever her head put her through.

"I'll need that back at some point."

"No."

Powder doesn't even shift. Silco sighs.

If Sevika wants to go on about problems with Powder, this is the only one, cause he will need it back at some point and the idea to deny her this isn't a strong one.

"There will be days where you won't be able to do it. Nothing wrong with that, but I don't expect you to do it everyday."

"I don't think so. Goodnight."

Her hand tighten around the injector. As tiny as they are, Silco doesn't think he'd be able to take them from her if he tried.

He sighs, putting the deep-red blanket over her.

He kisses the blue of her hair.

"Goodnight, Powder."

Silco goes to lie beside her, a sleep falling on him so quickly and he won't know that's the exhaust of being a father.

He won't know the closed-eyed smile his little one gives besides him, as smirked as his few can be.

#jinx fanfiction #not jilco #silco arcane #silco and jinx #silco fanfiction #arcane fanfiction #jinx arcane #arcane fic #fanfiction #arcane #jinx and silco #silco #jinx #silco headcanons #arcane headcanons #jinx headcanons #arcane fanfic #league of legends #arcane league of legends

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marvelandponder · 2 days ago

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I'm gonna speak from my experience and it's probably going to be different than OP's and that's okay

I had super bad social anxiety from about 10th grade through most of university. I straight up believed that if I didn't have anything "worthwhile" to say, it was a burden to say anything at all, because then you'd be subjecting people to a painfully awkward social interaction they didn't want

So basically everything I had to say wasn't "worth it" and I felt like I was failing every social interaction, or cowarding out by hiding myself away when it became too exhausting

I think over the course of those years I had about 4 or 5 therapists?

Each was helpful for different reasons but the one that was the most helpful was a guy who had me write out what I believed about socializing. And we picked them apart until we got to the underlying truth

The one that really stuck out to me was we basically got to a point where he was like "so you believe human beings are inherently judgemental"

That didn't feel right. Like, yeah, we have automatic passing thoughts, but most people don't really care about what's weird with others for more than few seconds. Then they're focused on themselves again

So that stuck out to me as a belief I could revise. Where were examples of when people didn't care about me being awkward or not knowing how to socialize?

We devised a plan to test the new theory

I was in university at the time, and there were scheduled meet ups in our LGBTQA+ centre's on campus. That seemed like a pretty safe place to try things- I had even been there before

So I went. I went a few times. It was still tough sometimes but I started to feel more safe saying things, contributing to set discussion topics, or just being quiet when I didn't have anything to add (and not beating myself up for having nothing to add)

That built a little bit of confidence, then I had a few job experiences that helped too. At first those sucked - I would have panic attacks sometimes. But then around the time I was doing this therapy, I got one where I could tell my managers first thing, hey, I've got anxiety, this is what it might look like if I have a panic attack. And I didn't have a single one that term, or the term after.

I built up confidence just by reinforcing my new beliefs that people really weren't as hyperfocused as I was. I became more social - I had a cubicle of three other students around me, so I joined in on their discussions and even had a good time

Fast forward a few years, I'm now more comfortable and confident in any social situation than ever. I call with friends every week, I go out with my partner and do all sorts of stuff together, I have this huge community of people around me in all kinds of capacities!

I'm not you, and what worked for me isn't gonna be what works for you. Also? It's valid as fuck to not be in a place where you can at all comfortably socialize with any human beings at all, and to be there for so long that you just straight give up. Or maybe it's all you've ever known

That's fucking valid and you don't need to feel ashamed for it. And also, in my personal experience as someone who couldn't socialize without anxiety for several very formative years, people can become social

Doesn't mean you have to, or that one is better than the other. I'm just saying I was in a big doomer place before about my own ability to socialize and if I was talking to my past self, she'd be so fucking relieved to hear that things get better and she doesn't have panic attacks about talking to people anymore. She actually likes it

people are way way too generous in assuming that you can just “learn to be social” and everyone will welcome you with open arms and forgive you forever for all the years you spent not talking to people. sorry no. if you don’t start out social you never get the opportunity to become social. people assume that’s just how you are and treat you accordingly, and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy

#still an introvert tho lol

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spideysbruh · 2 days ago

Text

Tattoo

a/n- i would NEVER get my bf or gfs name tattooed on me… unless it was him.

~~~~

They’re watching a movie together when she brings it up, “Hey, Timothée.” She says, and his head turns from where it's her laying on her lap to look up at her.

“Yeah?”

“I wanna get your name tattooed on me.” She says, meeting his eyes, his eyebrows raise at her words.

“Really?” He smirks, she nods.

“Would you be okay with that?” She wonders, he quickly nods and sits up all the way.

“Can I ask why?”

She shrugs, “Cause I love you. I've got other tattoos, y'know. So what's one more?”

They’ve been together four years, she feels like that’s enough time to get his name on her forever. She knows that this is it for the both of them, all she’s waiting for now is a ring.

He laughs, “If you really, actually, deadass want to then, no bullshit, I'll pay for it.” He says enthusiastically.

“Really?!” She surprisedly asks, and he nods.

“It’s only fair, it’s my name on my girlfriend… and I can’t return the favor, but believe me, if i could baby… I would. Asap.” He answers, she smiles and leans forward to kiss him, “Actually, I probably would’ve done it already. Cause I love you so much.” He says against her lips, she giggles and presses her lips to his, wrapping her arms around his neck.

So that's how they ended up in a tattoo shop two weeks later, Timothée excitedly sitting next to her.

She's getting his name tattooed right underneath her collarbone in a cute cursive font that they both liked.

“Are you nervous?” He asks, holding her hand.

She shakes her head, “Not really, I just hope it doesn’t hurt too much here… and that it looks cute.”

Timothée chuckles and caresses her cheek as the tattoo artist preps her shoulder, “You’re adorable. It’s gonna look amazing, baby.”

The tattoo artist makes sure she likes the placement before she starts, Y/n grips Timothées hand whenever it stings a little too much. He admires how well she sits there, and can’t help but love that she’s doing this for him. He knew they were in love, but he didn’t think she would get this permanent thing for him.

It makes him happy knowing that other people will see this and know that it’s because she’s all his. Whenever they go on a red carpet together and she wears a strappy dress, his name will be visible for all to see. He smirks as he pictures people's reactions to it, will they be angry? or happy? Will they think it’s stupid???

Well, who gives a fuck what they think.

His thoughts are cut short by y/n staring at him, analyzing his face, “You okay?” she wonders, running her thumb across his hand, he nods and leans over to kiss her hand.

“Yeah, just thinking.” He smiles at her, “It looks really good.”

When the tattoo is finished, Y/n stands up and looks in the mirror, “Oh my god, I love it!” She squeals and turns to let Timothée get a good look, he leans forward and smirks.

“It looks amazing.” He grins, reaching out and pinching her cheek, “You look beautiful with it.”

She smiles and turns to at least tip the artist but Timothée stops her, “I got it, babe… Dune did well.”

She snorts, “Shut the fuck up.” he's been making that joke for weeks whenever they go anywhere.

She loves it though.

“I can't wait til you show it off.” He says as they walk out the shop hand in hand, he looks at the plastic now covering it as she looks up at him.

“Me either, it's so cute.” She giggles, running her thumb along his knuckles.

“I'm gonna find a way to repay you, baby.”

She laughs, “You don't have to repay me, babe. Our relationship is repayment enough.”

He smiles and kisses her head as they walk.

A few weeks later, Y/ns tattoo has healed and it looks great, she likes it a lot. She's been wearing tank tops whenever she goes out because she wants to show it off. Whenever Timothée is with her, his arm is always over her shoulder, subtly attempting to draw attention to her tattoo.

She tries not to look at what people are saying about it, but Timothée took a peek on twitter a couple of nights ago when she had already fallen asleep. The handful of tweets he saw were positive and excited about it, saying how cute they are. He smiled and shut his phone off, pulling Y/n closer to him before drifting off.

She's at home, working on her laptop when Timothée lets himself in (he has his own set of keys) and kisses her cheek before he sits next to her at the table.

“Hi, my love.” He mumbles, resting his head on her shoulder.

“Hi, baby.” She smiles, reaching down with her free hand and intertwining their fingers, “Give me one second babe, I'll be done in a bit.”

“No rush, honey.” He sighs, closing his eyes and sitting patiently as she finishes.

She closes her laptop a few minutes later and looks down at him, his eyes shut as he quietly breathes.

She smiles, “What a nice surprise, baby! You okay?”

He nods and picks his head up, smiling and gently kissing her lips. “Yeah, just wanted to see you today.”

She nods and gets up to get him something to eat, he closely follows her, opening his mouth to say something and then stopping.

“What's up, babe?” She giggles, he shrugs and pins her against the counter, connecting their lips once again.

“I love you.” He mumbles before kissing her again, brushing his tongue along her lips.

She hums and parts her lips to let his tongue in, caressing his face in her hands. He sighs harshly against her mouth, “I did something.”

She opens her eyes and laughs, “What'd you do, baby?”

“I got a chain.” He says simply, she chuckles and raises an eyebrow. She doesn't think this is extraordinarily groundbreaking news.

“That's cool, babe. You wearing it?” She wonders, moving her hands to his neck to feel for it. He steps back, letting her hands slide over to his chest, the chain hides under his shirt, and she sees an indent poking through it and smirks.

“Yeah, I'm wearing it.” He replies softly, “You wanna see it?”

She nods and his hands move to pull the chain out.

She gasps as she sees that the silver chain has her name at the end of it in the same font as her tattoo.

“No way!” She giggles, running her fingers along her name, “You gonna wear it 24/7?” She teases, her fingers moving up to his neck, across his birthmarks. She smiles at the marks and meets his eyes.

He nods, “Mhm. For you. For me. I love you so fucking much. Seeing that tattoo on you every day is a dream. To know you're mine. I'm yours too, baby. All fucking yours.”

She smiles and admires the chain, she imagines him walking around with her name across his chest for everyone to see.

Timothée eyes her, “Do you like it?” He timidly asks, looking down at his feet.

Y/n tuts and moves her head to make eye contact with him, “Timothée… I fucking love it. Now we're matching.” She giggles and leans up to kiss him. He grins and attacks her face with little kisses.

“I'm so obsessed with you, baby.”

She feels herself heat up at his words, a shy smile gracing her face as he kisses her cheek.

“I love you.” She sighs, holding onto the chain, its coldness somehow soothing her fingers.

Timothée smiles and kisses her lips again, lifting her onto the counter and going to make out with her again.

At his next red carpet event, Timothée keeps the chain on and insists that Y/n joins him on the carpet. She was hesitant but agreed because he pulled out the cutest face as he begged, the one that almost always gets him whatever he wants from her.

“You’re a piece of shit.” She had joked as he celebrated in their car on the way.

“Yeah yeah, you always remind me.” He teased, reaching for her hand as the car pulled up to the entrance, a crowd of fans waiting to catch a glimpse of all the celebrities attending.

She takes his hand and he squeezes it for a second, “Please don’t let go of my hand.” He says before opening the door to constant flashes. All of them capturing his chain and his wide smile as he's holding onto her hand.

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