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glorioustidalwavedefendor · 11 months ago

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She studies science! Or math! Or does hunting or boxing or (thing)

This is actually so funny because none of these thinsg are really unusually for historical women. None if these things make them „not like other girls“

We don‘t know a lot of women scientists today because they ususally didn‘t hold a position at a university and didn‘t have a tite. They worked at home while attending their duties as wifes and mothers …

But women where very active in the scientific community.

From Maria Sibylla Merian over Marie-Anne Lavoisier to Mary Curie

Women have always been scientists

Hell, Lady Jane Franklin was a biologist/naturalist in her own right who was invited to speak at universities … though of course she was never offered a position or a title …

Or take Jane Goodsir. She had no official title, her job was looking after her brothers household, but she aslo was a brilliant botanist.

Or take my girl Hypatia of Alexandria, mathematichian and astronomer par excellance … murdered by a christian mob …

Hunting to, same as smoking was nothing unusuall to be done by a women. It wasteh privilege of the nobles and no noble women would have allowed to be excluded.

The devide here going less along genedre lines then class lines.

And all kinds of sports including fencing was done by women and to a certain degree expected of them Of course we are talking again of privileged women. But yeah … this is such a 1950s idea of what a proper women should and shouldn’t do …

Also- when we watch a foreign film, we don't watch it to see our own culture. We want a good story, but we also want to enjoy something different from our own time.

THIS

so hard!

It‘s always. Well we had to make them mor emodern (white, western) so the audience can relate

If you can‘t relate to people because you can‘t map yourself on to them 100% you fail as a human beeing.

but she may also be a good walker or horseback rider.

This again is so hilarios to me because in a pre automobil era you had to walk. How else are you gonna get anywhere? Like Luis the 14th liked walking a lot in hisgardens at versailland teh court had to follow. wetehr they wanted to or not ...

Plus women where epected to know how to ride. At least if she was a memeber of a class that had regular access to horses.

Plus as mentioned above.

Hunting.

And soem hunts are done on horseback.

Empresse Elizabeth of Austria was not exceptional for riding. She was exceptional for the level of sophistication and mastery and for the singleminded opsession she brought to the sport.

Also, there isn not nor has tehre ever been „the women“

You have to distinguish between gender and class

a wealthy women would always have more freedoms especialy if she was independently wealthy.

A nobel women would always have more freedoms then a non noble because power begets freedom

And a women who had the support ofe her father (keeping her money in a marriage, assisting him in his scientific studies, beeing taken on expeditions, being allowed to sit in on her brothers education etc … ) had more freedoms then a women whos father saw her as a bargaining chip.

And of course there was a differece between coutriside and city.

My ancestors are farmers and a lot of them where born out of wedlock … if the parenst arried eventually no one minded … you can‘t reasonably expect people to marry befor ethe far hasn‘t been handed over to the next generation.

Plus, on a farm the women ususally hs her own money through milk and cheese an deggs and she can do with it as she pleases …

So yeah. Woemn had less official rights and they where considered property. But how that played out in a day to day reality depended on a lot of factors. Including money status and support.

youtube

Also, I just had to add something about the whole embroidery is more lady like thing.

Yes in a word before mechanical looms, teh jaquard loom and fabric rinting, embroidery was an important skill. Every crest, ever stadard every ...

It all has to be done by someone.

And yes, noble women did a lot of embroidery

You know why?

THEY ACTUALLY HAD THE TIME

-> The fact that wome are not allowed to have leisure time is a different though adjasent discussion

A lot of high end embroidery and lace was actually made in convents, becasue tere where a lot of noble women there that had fuck all to do all day except praying. And the daughter of a noble house will not do the laundry, she brought after all her dowery to teh convent .. teh manual labour of maintainig the convent is for those Nuns/Sisters that didn't have a dowery or only a small one ...

It wasn't because they didn't have anything better to do ...

Plus embrodery was done by men and women

Plus, later, doing embroidery became actually a job.

For example, ready made embrodery for waitscoats would eb made in farnce and send to London where the tailor cut cut and sew the waistcoat in little time, since the most time consuming part was allready done

And finally ... you gonna tell Judy Dench she is somehow less for liking embroidery?

This idea that embroidery makes a women somehow less ... is illogical and honestly just internalized mysogony, becasue it sees something that is percieved as peak femeninity and considers it bad ...

I'm getting so sick of major female characters in historical media being incredibly feisty, outspoken and public defenders of women's rights with little to no realistic repercussions. Yes it feels like pandering, yes it's unrealistic and takes me out of the story, yes the dialogue almost always rings false - but beyond all that I think it does such a disservice to the women who lived during those periods. I'm not embarrassed of the women in history who didn't use every chance they had to Stick It To The Man. I'm not ashamed of women who were resigned to or enjoyed their lot in life. They weren't letting the side down by not having and representing modern gender ideals. It says a lot about how you view average ordinary women if the idea of one of your main characters behaving like one makes them seem lame and uninteresting to you.

#Youtube

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fancyfade · 3 years ago

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Tim Drake

First impression: i was introduced to tim via fandom, so I mostly thought he was exceptionally uninteresting

Impression now: I actually think he works as a character and there are some parts of him I find really interesting, but I don't know if they were intentionally put there by the writers. I find a lot of his pre war games character charming

Favorite moment:I feel bad for not being able to think of one relevant to his character but ATM its when he is getting attacked by some guy in DC’s knock-off Barney suit and the original wearere of hte knockoff barney suit saves him (link)

Idea for a story: I think we should see him confronting how his life as gone and whether he still wants to be a superhero, since he started out phrasing it as intentionally temporary, stepping in as robin because he thought someone should. early on his intention to retire once he was done being robin was clear. as things went on we saw him more clear in his role, saying he would only strop when tehre's no more work for him to do (but he would be happy to do it) in an issue of young justice. then we later get the idea that even if he did stop being a superhero like... there's nothing else *for* him. he can't go back to his normal life, because all of his civilian friends are dead. So i think he should like. Get some time where he sits down and finds out what the heck he wants

Unpopular opinion: Power fantasy tim is a mistake. Let him just be some dude.

Favorite relationship: Tim and Dick ^_^ they are bros

Favorite headcanon: I headcanon he eventually joins greta and cissie in the retired young teenage superheroes

#dc comics #tim drake #anon #ask #tumblr games

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bazwillendinflames · 4 years ago

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Gravity Falls/LIS2 AU

The last place Sean wants to spend his Summer is in a weird town in the middle of no where, Oregon, reconnecting with a Mother who hadn’t wanted to see them in years in her weird tourist trap. But Daniel is determined to go and his Dad gives Sean little choice but to babysit him.

But soon it becomes clear there is more to Beaver Creek than meets the eye and the strangeness of the town soon unlocks some family secrets and strange abilities. Maybe their Summer won’t be so boring after all.

AO3

“Lyla, I will die of boredom.”

“It can’t be that bad,” she replied, her voice a little tinny still. The bad reception was just one of many reasons that Sean was having an awful time. (In the week and a half since they had arrived, he’d already made a list.)

“Nope, it is exactly as bad as I’m saying.”

“I mean, come on, you’re Mom’s there. What’s that like that?”

Sean scowled. “Number one on reasons this place sucks. All she talks to us about is all this weird mystic stuff she likes. Her store is so weird, it’s all crystals and bad poetry.”

Lyla snorted. “Really?”

“Yep. Not to mention this is the whitest town ever.” He glanced out the window, where Karen was smoking, notebook in hand and ducked his head before she could spot him. “There are no cool people.”

“Come on, you have Danny.”

“I get enough babysitting at home thanks.” He glanced outside again, wondering exactly how long he could bitch on the phone for and call it a break. “Anyway, this place is just making Daniel weirder. He’s convinced this place is magic or something.”

“That’s sweet. Hey, we used to play witches when we were kids, remember?”

“Hey, you were the witch, I was a manly wizard.”

That time Lyla actually laughed. “Sure dude. I’ll believe it when I see it.”

“Anyway, we were into the Harry Potter books, you know before terf-face ruined them. Daniel is into the ancient runes and fake spell cards Mo- Karen sells.”

“That’s adorable.”

“Ugh, only you could find him adorable. That’s only because Daniel doesn’t kick you in your sleep-”

“Did Lyla call me adorable?”

Sean sighed as Daniel barged in. Not much had changed since home tehre at least, apart from the fact they now shared Karen’s attic room. (Bunk beds, making the being kicked in the shin at night thing even more annoying.)

“Hey, I’m kinda on the-”

Daniel yanked the phone and rolled on the bed. “Hiiiiii Lyla. Do you miss us?”

“Give me that back.”

He wiggled out of his grap. “Did you know Sean talks in his sleep, it’s so weird-”

“You would know about weird,” he grumbled, snatching his phone back, only to find the shitty signal had finally cut out on Lyla. “Dude.”

“Sorry.” Daniel grinned at him. “Hey, I’m helping Mom restock, can you help me reach the top shelves?”

He checked the time on his phone. He had almost managed a whole brother-free hour.

“Guess I should I get back to work.”

“Cool.” Daniel followed him downstairs, bouncing with energy. “Hey, Sean what does terf-face mean?”

Sean was stuck behind the register, although the store was still empty. He wasn’t sure why Karen insisted on such early opening hours when no one else showed up.

He rubbed his eyes, the early start not helped by the fact Daniel had been reading with a torch all night. He had picked up a weird book from the store or something. Of course he would pick up a late night reading habit once they were sharing a room.

“I brought you guys some toast.” Karen balanced the plate on the top of some unsold art books. (Her organization was as great as her parenting.)

“Thanks Mom!”

Sean poked at a black spot under a thick layer of peanut butter. “Yeah, thanks.”

“I gotta do some inventory but I’ll be back up for lunch.”

“Can we go to the cool diner? Chris says the milkshakes are great.”

Karen smiled. “Yeah. Does that sound good Sean?”

He grunted in response and her grin flickered.

“Right, work. You boys got this.”

“We’re not your boys,” Sean muttered, although she didn’t hear.

“Why are you so mean to Mom?” Daniel asked, his mouth full of toast. “She’s always nice.”

“Right, she’s been real nice the first nine years of your life.”

Daniel looked up at him with big eyes. “Sean…”

“Fine, I’ll try. Put those eyes away Bambi.”

He smiled. “So, I was thinking the strawberry milkshakes are Chris’ favourite but I like chocolate more so you could get one and we could share?”

“Huh, yeah, sure.” Sean had only been half listening, distracted by the newest customer. Waking up early suddenly had its appeal. The girl had matted purple hair, an arm full of tattoos and a guitar strapped to her back. She caught him looking and winked.

“Are you okay Sean? You just went really red and-”

“What? No. Shut up.” Sean moved into a more casual position, his eyes still fixed on the pretty girl. His elbow knocked the tip jar and it fell off the edge. “Shit-”

“Here.” Daniel put it back. “Woah…”

“Good catch Enano.”

“Yeah. Catch! I totally caught it.” Daniel smiled a little suspiciously. “Hey, you said a swear, you owe me a dollar.”

“A dollar? It’s only a quarter at home.”

“Now we’re away from Dad, you’re supposed to be a good influence.”

“You get a quarter.” Sean dropped the coin in his hand. “Be cool.”

“What?”

“Hey boys.” The purple-haired girl leaned against the other end of the counter, an easy smile on her face. Her voice had a faint Southern tang. “So, I come to this town every Summer and I don’t recognise either of you cuties.”

“I- we- um-”

His brother beat him to it. “I’m Daniel.”

Cursing his stammering, he finally managed to introduce himself. “I’m Sean.”

“Why hello. I’m Cassidy.”

“Hi. Um, cool guitar. You play?” (Internally, Sean cringed: You play? Why else would she have a guitar?)

“Yeah, funnily enough. I’m actually here to hand out flyers for my band’s show. Could you hang it up?”

“Yeah.” Sean took the flyer. “Your show is this Friday?”

“And every other Friday. You wanna come?”

“I’m invited?”

Cassidy laughed. “Yeah sure. It is a concert. You’re lucky you’re cute, City Boy.”

“City boy?”

“It’s on your sweatshirt idiot,” Daniel whispered. Seattle Track Meet, 2015. He was frowning in the general direction of Cassidy. “We’re busy Friday so-”

“No. Nope, I’m not busy. Ignore him.” Sean flattened his hair. “I’ll be there Friday.”

“I’ll look out for you City Boy. Nice to meet you.”

Sean waited until Cassidy had left before pumping his fist. “Yes! She called me cute Dan!”

“You’re the worst.”

“What?”

Daniel pouted. “You promised you’d take me camping in the woods Friday. I already brought us marshmallows and walkie-talkies.”

“Hey, there is plenty of time to camp in those freaky woods. But I only have one chance with a girl like Cassidy.”

“Wrong, you have zero chances with any girl.” Daniel stomped off to the corner of the store. “You’re the worst.”

“Dan- come on.” His brother went back to ignoring him. Sean crossed his arms. “Fine. Be like that!”

There was the only sound of a raspberry in response.

“Nope, I’m totally with Danny. That was a jerk move.”

“What? Lyla, you’re supposed to be my hype man- er woman. You’re always trying to set me up on dates.”

“Dude, three weeks ago you were so into Jenn.”

He sighed. “And Jenn was into Derek Anderson. We had ice cream and everything.”

“Dude, don’t fuck up your relationship with Danny over a dumb Summer romance.”

Sean buried his head in his pillow. “You sound like my Dad.”

“Go to this hippy girl’s show next time. You Danny will do the face.”

“The Bambi face?” Sean groaned. “I have been facing the Bambi face all week.”

Lyla scoffed. “Is there anything else to add?”

“Fine. I’ll go camping. But only for the s’mores.”

“Okay, brother of the year.”

“Thanks jerk.”

Lyla blew him an exaggerated kiss. “Aw, love you too.”

Sean grabbed his backpack, moving to shove in his hoodie and torch. Daniel had already shoved one of the walkie-talkies inside.

“Calling little wolf, we are back on for camping.”

There was nothing but static on the other end. Sean pocketed the walkie-talkie and headed downstairs, calling his brother’s name. There was no one in the kitchen and only Karen sitting in the living room, chewing on the edge of a pen.

“Hey, have you seen Daniel?”

Karen looked up. “Oh, I thought you already left? Daniel passed by twenty minutes ago with the sleeping bags.”

“That little-” Sean wasn’t panicking, but he was maybe sweating a little more than he had been before. “Um, right. I just forget a…” he scanned the room and grabbed Daniel’s weird book, “scary story. Classic camping right?”

“Oh. Have a nice time then.” Karen hesitated. “I know you’re not thrilled to be here. But I hope by the end of the Summer we can understand each other better.

“Me too.” Sean tried to look as un-guilty as possible. “See you tomorrow Karen.”

“Daniel!” He yelled, running head first into the spooky mass of woodlands beyond their store. “Dan, I’m sorry okay. Quit hiding!”

No answer. Sean went digging for the walkie-talkie, now glowing an eerie blue.

“Dan?”

The walkie-talkie crackled again- “Sean?”

“Dan.” He let out a shaky breath. “Hey, I’m sorry I ditched you-”

“Sean, help!”

He was clutching the walkie-talkie so hard his knuckles went white. “What’s wrong? I’m coming okay. What’s happening?”

“Creature- help- monster- ahh!”

Sean scanned the trees around him, suddenly aware he was lost too. Daniel had been the one eager to explore the woods but he had said it was too creepy and now it seemed he was being proven right.

“Sean- book- monster-”

He dug around to find the weird book Daniel had been carrying around all week. He had assumed it was from one of Karen’s displays but now he was looking at it, the journal seemed too real to go with the modern witchcraft bullshit she was trying to sell. The cover was dark blue and the pages thick with drawings and polaroids.

“Dan, I have the book, what do I need to look for? What is this thing?”

“Page- tree- monster-” Daniel was breathing heavily. “Hear?”

“I can hear you,” he said comfortingly, “I’m coming.”

He held the torch in his teeth, flicking through pages until he came across a few marked with Daniel’s doodles and writing. He seemed to be studying telekinetic powers, complete with a superhero sketch: SUPER /DUDE DAN/ WOLF? ask Sean for name ideas

He finally came across the page that looked like a bush drawn with yellow eyes.

Dangerous

camouflage shape shifters

Hard to photograph shush ma-

Likes dark

Under the original writing Daniel had added his own note: babies in woods.

“Hey,” Sean held up the walkie-talkie, “is it these moss creatures? What well?”

“Sean!” This time Daniel’s voice was clearer, his voice steadier.

“Dan. What happened? Please tell me you had a good reason to go into the woods alone without telling me or Karen.”

“Come on, that’s it? Can you yell at me when I’m not being chased?”

“Okay. I’m coming, where are you?”

“Where are you?”

“By some trees. There’s a sign for a lake?”

“Go to the lake, I’ll meet you there.” Daniel was cut off by some more static. “Hey, stop chewing that Mushroom!”

Sean followed the signs, hoping Daniel at least would know a way out. How did he know the woods so well already? Was Sean that much of a shitty brother he hadn’t noticed him running off into these haunted-ass woods?

The lake slowly came into the view but it was empty.

“Daniel? Dan?”

The lake was weirdly normal, just muddy water and a few droopy looking frogs. Still, Sean was still on edge, swinging the heavy torch from hand to hand. The faster they got home, the better.

His relative peace was interrupted by the rustling of tree branches and heavy footsteps. Daniel came barging through the trees, a small bundle of something wrapped in his checked shirt. Something was chasing him and fast- Sean barely had time to move out the way as Daniel crashed into him. Something big and fast ran past.

“Sean!” Daniel threw himself into his arms. “I’m sorry, don’t yell at me.”

“I’m not mad. But you did scare the shit out of me.”

“Sean-”

“Fine, you get a dollar, let’s just go-”

“No, look.”

Sean turned slowly, met with amber eyes and a large face of bark and weeds. The creature sniffed at him curiously.

“Um-”

Daniel hid behind him. “Any ideas?”

“You have the stupid haunted book!” The creature snorted, blowing hot air in his face. “Wait, the book said-” Sean slowly moved for his pocket, finding Dad’s lighter.

“Dan, on three, we run.”

“One-” he reached for a branch, “two-” he flicked the lighter on, “three!” Sean held the flaming branch up the creature’s face, dragging Daniel out the way as it squirmed. “What, the light should have scared it off.”

“Remember when you said you weren’t going to get mad?”

Sean turned to him, as Daniel revealed the squirming mass of moss in his arms.

“You stole it’s kid?”

“I always wanted a puppy! She’s called Mushroom-”

Seeing it’s child, the larger creature started inching slowly towards Daniel.

“Put it down! We can’t keep this weird monster-baby!”

“We bonded!” The larger creature nudged its nose towards the smaller one, poking his chest with a spikey horn. “Okay, I’ll give her back.”

Daniel held out his arms, placing the small creature on the floor. It wiggled a loose vine that could almost be a tail and followed its parents into the woods.

Sean punched him in the arm. “That’s for trying to adopt an actual monster.”

Daniel rubbed his arm. “Ouch.”

Sean pulled him into a hug. “And that’s for scaring the shit out of me. I’m glad you’re okay though.”

“Me too.” Daniel smiled. “Hey, now you owe me two dollars!”

After all the excitement, the brothers’ settled on camping in Karen’s yard.

“So, you found that spooky book in a tree and didn’t think to tell me?”

“You were being the worst!”

Sean laughed. “Okay, I deserve that. But, next time you find a weird monster thing, tell me. We’re in this together.”

“Okay promise.” Daniel threw another marshmallow at him. “Sorry I made you miss your concert. I guess Cassidy wasn’t that bad.”

“Hey, I saved your butt, that’s more important.” Sean took a bite out a s’more. “Hey, there isn’t anything else you’re not telling me right?”

“Actually,” Daniel held out his hand, a marshmallow hoovering a few inches above his palm. “Surprise?”

(A boring Summer suddenly looked so much more appealing.)

#Life is Strange 2 #Daniel Diaz #Sean Diaz #gravity falls #lis2

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itsybitsylemonsqueezy · 4 years ago

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Okay, I’ve been putting it off, but it’s finally here. My KazuMaji playlist, which I have titled “Mad Dragon” because I think that’s a much cooler ship name : | This is informed mainly by whatever I’ve heard lately on FM radio and I’ll probably add to this as I go, but this hit my metric for being complete enough to post ^^;

Mad Dragon Playlist via youtube (I can also probably put this together via spotify if needed)

“Van Horn” - Saint Motel

Well, tell me do you me hate me? Or do you wanna date me? It's kinda hard to tell 'cause your eyes are looking crazy So why you coming over? Anything but sober? Looking like it's time tonight For fight or flight in Van Horn

I thought this would nicely start us off at the beginning of Kiwami 1. Like, look at those words and tell me you don’t INSTANTLY think of Kiryu. I sure as fuck did when I heard this song for the first time. This is defs Kiryu’s first impression of Majima and not knowing what in fuck’s name just happened. The eternal “Are we supposed to be fighting or fucking right now?”

“Take Me Home Tonight” - Eddie Money

Take me home tonight I don't wanna let you go 'til you see the light Take me home tonight Listen, honey, just like Ronnie sang, Be my little baby!

Ah, and with that, we enter what I like to call the Horny section. And nothing more appropriate than an egregiously horny 80s ballad. Really sets the scene I think. And an excellent counterpoint to “Van Horn’s” confusion is the absolute certainty of Majima’s first impression here. His entire goal since meeting Kiryu is, well... to make him take him home ^^; Let’s be real. Absolutely no confusion about what he wants out of this. Horny, but also very sweet, just like our boy ❤

“Faith” - George Michael

Well, I guess it would be nice if I could touch your body I know not everybody has got a body like you But I gotta think twice before I give my heart away And I know all the games you play because I played them, too

I would be truly remiss to write a queer playlist from the 80s without doing credit to our king, George Michael. So, continuing the Horny theme, but also, as you all might recall, the leaping directly into Kiryu’s lap gambit didn’t quite work out. And this is about that nervousness, that hesitation. And if Kiryu’s not going to put out, so to speak, then Majima’s better off holding back a bit. This is a reaction to Kiryu’s, well, rejection would be a strong word, but at least lack of reciprocation. Majima still wants him, clearly, but he’s reconsidering his strategy. Perhaps an early Kiwami 2 vibe.

“It Will Come Back” - Hozier

I know who I am when I'm alone! Something else when I see you, You don't understand, you should never know, How easy you are to need...

Don't let me in with with no intention to keep me! Jesus Christ! Don't be kind to me! Honey, don't feed me, I will come back

And so ends our Horny arc. The longing of this, the pining. As much as Majima knows he shouldn’t, Kiryu’s so... nice. He’s sweet, he’s tender. He’s so unbearably easy to fall for. He’s such a fucking good guy, it’s just... His helpless desire to be a part of that. Mmmm. This is a motif that stretches the whole of their relationship, but is certainly pronounced in 2 and 3. Hell, there’s even howling for fuck’s sake.

“Dragging Me Down” - Travis Love Benson & Yo! The Moon

Oh, this feels like a misstep, oh what a mistake! But I’ve fallen in with feelings that I cannot shake, The darkness that pulls me is dragging me down! And I think that I might be willing to drown

Ah, that inevitable horror. You’ve tried to resist, you’ve tried talking yourself down, you’ve spent time away and... yep, no, you’re good and in love. You’re fucked. This is a special kind of feeling, after the resistance, after the pining, the terrible realization that you’d give your life for this and there’s absolutely nothing you can do. Arguably, Majima’s felt like this the whole time as he’s always been afraid of what being in love with Kiryu will mean. But this is ESPECIALLY a game 4 feel. When there’s absolutely nothing you’re getting out of this, less than nothing, but you just can’t break with the feelings. You’re gonna die like this and tehre’s nothing you can do about it. Kiryu spends a bigger portion of his life than he would like to admit fighting against realizing this.

“Running Up That Hill” - Meg Myers

It doesn't hurt me, Do you want to feel how it feels? Do you want to know? Know that it doesn't hurt me Do you want to hear about the deal that I'm making? You, it's you and me

What comes after the terrible realization that you’ll die like this? The dedication. The resignation. If you’re gonna die like this, may as well make it worth something. BIG game 4 energy here. You may as well be playing this over the arrest scene. “Running Up That Hill” is a classic for any love story where some dumbfuck is stupid enough to be self-sacrificing and oh, look at that, we have two of them. “Running Up That Hill” is so gutting though because it doesn’t assume a happy ending. It assumes that if the trade works, this still all ends in tragedy. But it’ll be worth it. Make that big Game 5 energy as well.

“King and Lionheart” - Of Monsters and Men

Howling ghost they reappear In mountains that are stacked with fear But you're a king and I'm a lion-heart

And in the sea that's painted black Creatures lurk below the deck But you're a king and I'm a lion-heart

And as the world comes to an end I'll be here to hold your hand 'Cause you're my king and I'm your lion-heart

Another absolute classic. I think it’s illegal anymore to make a shipping playlist without “King and Lionheart.” I certainly have more ships than I can shake a stick at that fit this song. But it’s a classic for a reason. This takes all the dedication we developed in “Running Up That Hill” and argues that it doesn’t have to be tragedy. See, the problem with the previous is the sacrifice is one-sided and unacknowledged. “King and Lionheart” says what if we both knew? What if you let me do this for you? What if these were our roles and we were happy? It doesn’t all have to end in tragedy if we just... know. And that’s the real dream isn’t it? Be my king, let me be your lionheart. *stares helplessly at Kiryu Should Have Been Chairman AU*

“I Want You to Want Me” - Letters to Cleo

Didn’t I, didn’t I, didn’t I see you crying? Didn’t I, didn’t I, didn’t I see you crying?! Feeling all alone without a friend, you know you feel like dying! Didn’t I, didn’t I, didn’t I see you crying?

It was hard for me to decide where to put this, but I do feel it belongs on this list. “I Want You to Want Me” on surface level expresses a fairly typical expression of infatuated puppy love. But it’s the above, this part, that really strikes me. Because that isn’t just the adoring desperation of courtship. Didn’t I see you crying, didn’t I see you vulnerable, didn’t I see you broken, and didn’t I love you anyway? Didn’t I see you crying and didn’t it do something to me to see you like that? That isn’t just blind desire. I’m still not sure where this should go and I may find a better spot for it eventually, but this is about the fact that they get each other’s broken pieces. That there’s some deep, vulnerable shit to work through and... seeing it and still wanting to be a part of things, fuck, even still feeling that blind puppy love is... really something. This is certainly part of Kiryu’s love language. He never sees ugliness in people and he has a profound propensity to take care of others. This is a thing he wants to say.

“I Still Ain’t Over You” - Augustana

Hey, I'm the blood in your veins, I'm the cold when it rains, And I'm your heart when it breaks- Time, no it ain't on our side, I'm the truth to your lies, And I’m your tear, when you cry

This is a different kind of pining. This is that post-break up pining, the know-I-should-get-over-it pining. It’s not the pining you get when your courting. It’s not even the resigned to rejection pining. It’s that important part of getting over a break up where you’re still dealing with what it was you had or wanted and can’t let go of yet. Big Game 3 energy, but also Game 6. Because this also has a little hope for what still might be. There’s longing for what was, but also the possibility of the future. That’s what’s so confusing about it. Not knowing how to let go or what to let go of. I also just really like this song and I’m also just physically incapable of not putting Augustana in my playlists. You can really tell me generation there.

“With or Without You” - U2

And you give yourself away, and you give yourself away! And you give! And you give! And you give yourself away! With or without you! With or without you, I can’t live... with or without you...

To be honest, this song basically makes no damn sense. Because it’s not asking for anything, like... it has no solution. But it perfectly encapsulates the heartbreak of being in love with something that can never happen. Game 5/Game 6 energy if I ever saw it. Just... the rawness... the desperation. It’s a classic for a reason.

“Needing/Getting” - Ok GO

So I been sitting around, wasting my time, Wondering what you been doing. Aw, and it ain't real forgiving, it ain't real forgiving, Sitting here picturing someone else living. And I, yeah I still need you, But what good's that gonna do? Needing is one thing, and getting, Getting's another.

So we’ve had the break up. We’ve had the heartbreaking realization that what we wanted can never happen. And now... we’re finally coming to terms with that a little bit. Finally going, y’know what? I may never be over this, but I should probably try to move on with my life anyway. “Needing/Getting” is at least admitting that this is a losing proposition. We may not be all the way to healing and, heaven forbid, getting over it. But we’ve gotten as far as... this is pretty dumb.

“My Love” - Sia

My love, leave yourself behind Beat inside me, leave you blind My love, look what you can do I am mending, I'll be with you

So... after you realize that this isn’t going to get any better and, maybe, you don’t like being heartbroken all the time... sometimes you try to let things go. Big Game 6 energy. There’s a lot to love, there’s a lot to appreciate. And letting go doesn’t mean letting it all go, it doesn’t mean forgetting or regretting. But it can mean... moving on. Taking all you loved and learned with you, but moving on. To not give up on yourself, to keep doing what you promised you’d do, sometimes you gotta. There’s a lot of endings in Yakuza and a lot we may have to accept. “My Love” is about honoring that and keeping that love strong.

“Somewhere Only We Know” - Lily Allen

And if you have a minute, why don't we go Talk about it somewhere only we know? This could be the end of everything So why don't we go? So why don't we go?

But, then again, who says we can’t try again? After we’ve accepted our loss, our endings, who says we can’t be close to the people we love when we still love them? This is how I tend to favor post-5 and even post-6 thoughts. Why can’t we just have nice things? I mean... jeez, c’mon. Please. I like to think that after all the pining and regret, we could still come to terms. We could realize how silly we’re being and just... it’s as easy as just asking for a little time.

#Kazumaji #Mad Dragon #Lemon writes a playlist #Yakuza #I hope some of y'all are interested anyway ^^;

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wavemaker9 · 6 years ago

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So far I think Toni has like 4 potential ships for him? Remind me if I’m forgetting anyone but so far I think it’s just Cami, Mel, Gil, and Ivan who’ve gotten a focus on.

I also think I already touched on how Cami’s the best for Toni in the same way that Mel is for Austin and Ivan is for Kyle, so I prolly don’t need to go too deep into those two. I will say I had the thought the other day of like a need vs want thing with the three boy’s ships, and like. I think it was that Austin needs Mel but doesn’t usually want her right away, Kyle both wants and needs Ivan like right at the start, and like. Toni needs Cami a little but I do think he wants her more than he needs her. Mainly just cause like. We’ve discussed this in discord but not on here so basically for a written record, We were talking about Cami being a source of character development for Toni in GTA AU but then countered that because in GTA AU he really doesn’t develop any from his relay with Cami. He does for a little bit I guess but then regresses right back to normal because he’s a dumb idiot who learns nothing from his mistakes. It’s the same thing with the issue with Gil, he doesn’t come away from that going “I need to value and trust my friends more because we care about each other and I’ve known them long enough to not only recognize that, but /recognize it in a way that adjusts my behavior accordingly/”. He doesn’t. Like. If you talked him through the whole thing with Gil and Francis, you could get him to quickly admit he genuinely doesn’t believe there’s any way that Gil or Francis would, unprovoked, betray him. But then also be like “But technically there’s some way, so gotta be prepared.” HE’S THAT BATMAN LINE. THE DUMB ONE ABOUT “IF TEHRE’S A .1% CHANCE HE COULD BE OUR ENEMY WE HAVE TO TREAT THAT AS A 100% CERTAINTY!” Dumb idiot. I think it’s just that like. Because Toni wants to be prepared for everything so that he can handle everything, he has a hard time prioritizing probability over possibility. And that’s probably true in any AU but especially in ones like GTA where he has more to lose and has learned to be more paranoid. He knows the probability of Gil betraying him is like so small it’s basically 0%, but also Toni can think of ways that would force Gil to pick a side and have Toni be that losing side. Threatening Ludwig is the biggest one (and I’d assume there’d be an equivalent for Francis of “if someone threatened X if Francis didn’t betray me, he’d have to pick X”), but Toni probably also assuming that if it came down to a thing of picking Francis or him, Gil’d pick Francis. Similarly, Toni assumes Francis would pick Gil if Gil forced Francis’ hand, while not also considering the fact that if your two causes are “Francis would betray me if Gil made him” and “Gil would betray me if Francis made him” and you don’t have any other factor that would prompt either Francis or Gilbert to make that move to push the other in the first place, then those aren’t really possible/probable causes are they, Toni? Even if the other cause is “Someone threatened Ludwig/X to make Gil/Francis betray me, but he doesn’t want to fight me directly so he’s then convincing Francis/Gil to do it.” like. His independent mentality doesn’t even have him consider “They would come to me and the two of us could work out how to save Ludwig/X together.” He just assumes betrayal because that’s how shit works in Los Santos, and because he assumes betrayal even in the .1% chance this extreme event happens, he feels he has to be prepared for it and won’t fucking chill about it. And even when it’s pointed out to him “Do you realize how unrealistic this is,” that’s not what he cares about. He knows it’s unrealistic, but that doesn’t make it impossible. It’d be like always wearing a life jacket 24/7 in case your house floods. You can point out how unlikely the flooding is at any given time, but he’ll just counter “and then what if it happens and then I don’t have a life jacket????” Like I guess you’re technically prepared, sure, but at what cost. Ugh, Toni’s the worst, I can’t believe I took this character I liked the best out of my three and made him the worst in his inability to learn a goddamn lesson.

Similarly, GTA Toni doesn’t learn a goddamn thing from what happens with Cami either. He doesn’t learn to communicate better, he doesn’t learn to trust people and put more faith in their choices, he doesn’t learn not to lie needlessly. To him, it’s not a factor of “Things would be better if I HAD told the truth” and more “Things would be better if I’d BEEN ABLE to tell the truth” because he’s still in some dumb mindset of unintentionally not respecting Cami’s (or anyone’s, really) autonomy. He /couldn’t/ tell Cami the truth, he /couldn’t/ 100% trust Gil and Francis. Again, he’s not realizing that these were actual choices he made and are specifically his fault. They are what /had/ to happen because, given his own knowledge and no other input, they were the best option at the time and thus the only thing he could really do. Even after Cami snaps at him about how much his break up with her and everything hurt her, he laments factors that were outside of his control instead of recognizing the choices he made weren’t good. If only he hadn’t gotten into the crime business, if only he’d met Cami earlier in his life, if only X, if only Y, blah blah blah. He recognizes that he made things worse here, but it still feels to him like “cami would have been better off if she never met me or if she’d met me before I got into crime” vs “cami would have been better off if I’d treated her with more actual respect and not this romanticized old version of respect where I pull her chair out for her but don’t ask for her opinion on major life decisions”. All of it basically boils down to ‘this wasn’t solely on me because I did what I /had/ to do given the circumstances. Nevermind that I could have changed the circumstances by discussing /anything/ with /anyone/. *hanzo voice* I do what I must.’ I touched on this in the fic with him and Gil, but Toni leans on excuses a lot more than he likes to think he does. During mel’s fake death, he calls out Kyle for not planning ahead and being aware of the consequences his actions have until they’ve already happened, but Toni has the exact opposite problem of /always/ trying to plan ahead to a harmful level and only being aware of the connection any consequences that happen may have with his actions until he actually does the thing and then any mistakes were a flaw in fate itself really, he did his best.

Anyway, fuck, that was supposed to be 1 paragraph about the generic dynamic of cami and toni, not multiple trainwrecks about what a trainwreck I turned that boy into in GTA AU. Back to the point. A lot of that is lessened in the handful of other AUs where Cami and Toni end up together even briefly, so that’s good at least. I mentioned to Khep the other day the idea of a similar thing happening with Toni in Color Coded AU of him having an interest in Cami after meeting her thanks to investigating her for PRISM, but when seeing how truly kind she is, him trying to step back because, while he does value PRISM for the help it gave him with his powers, he recognizes it’s shady and manipulative towards coders at best and doesn’t want Cami involved in that world. PRISM keeps a close eye on every one of its heroes, even those that leave/retire if it can, and Toni probably believing that while Cami could stay under the radar if staying on her own, any serious involvement with him would put her more at risk of PRISM’s lasting attention and she doesn’t deserve them watching over her and possibly deciding when she should and shouldn’t join. But in that one, he’d actually talk to her. Instead of spending his YA years as an independent and pseudo-paranoid crime leader, he spends them in a large community and as the leader of a team where communication is key. This Toni /knows/ that it’s important to ultimately trust people with information in order to better protect themself, and the only reason he’d hide info from Cami while trying to break things off would be at the very start since it’d probably take a little effort to find a way to communicate with Cami where he could be sure PRISM wouldn’t be keeping tabs. In other more chill AUs he tends to be better about that shit, too. Firefly AU was brought up since that’s another Toni that learns to lie with priority, but they don’t really end up together in that one so agreeing with the point there fo it not being as much of a thing? Mel and Gil feel like bigger factors into his development there than Cami does. Honestly, I can’t remember many other AUs where they even interact let alone date, now that I think about it tho? There’s the one happy one where they’re both single parents but that always felt more like a focus on the interaction between the kids/kids+parents vs between the parents, like honestly the TonixCami factor there was definitely back burner whenever I thought about it. Ugh, there has to be other AUs, right? Okay and I just went through my page of AU/Xover lists and it seems like no. Wait OUAT, I forgot that, but that’s also a bad one but not my fault. God we really do need better AUs for them. But honestly there aren’t many AUs for any of these ships we’re here to talk about so I guess I’ll be as assuming here as for the others.

I do feel like a non-GTA and the like AU where Toni and Cami can end up together is good. I’m still standing behind what I said in discord the other day of like. Toni is not necessarily the best end for /Cami/ if the AU has anyone else like Cian in it. I’ll also add something new of like. Even though Cami is probably the best of the options so far for Toni, she’s not the /ideal/ match either. Which, tbf, the same is true for Austin and Mel, honestly? It falls back to the need vs want thing. Kyle lucked out and got someone who helps him better himself while also being the type of person he absolutely adores. Austin’s best option would be someone who challenges him similar to how Mel does, but in a more reserved way and someone he has a bit more in common with. Someone he could start off wanting, instead of learning to want after a long while. (That’s also part of why Aud is a better fit for Mel too, since Aud is a bit more open and accepting of challenges and such due to her past vs Austin who is really not here as much to be significantly challenged; Aud isn’t /looking/ for a challenge either exactly, but she won’t back away from one as quickly as Austin will). For Toni and his ideal, there’s obviously the thing of like. Usually a relay with Toni isn’t great for her either since it’s just. Their relationships always feel very romanticized but not super realistic? I could see them having a long term relay and being happy, especially in more chill/neutral AUs like the adopted family AU one, but I think it takes them both a medium to /long/ while to relax around each other. Which isn’t… the worst, but also, it just feels a little unhealthy having to try /to that level/ in a relationship. Like trying in a relay is good, trying to seem perfect in a relay isn’t so much, and it’d probably take a few years to a decade or so before toni starts to feel comfortable not trying to the max 24/7. And that’d be exhausting, and that’s for Toni who is used to and honestly lowkey thrives in a challenging environment, because Cami would in turn likely also feel the need to always be at her best regardless of Toni’s reassurances, and that’d be even worse for someone like her who is NOT already confident and believes herself as being at the best level already. Eventually they could settle into a really nice comfortable life together, and I think it’d be very good for both of them at that point, because they’re both very caring and passionate people at their cores, but it’d probably be rough to start off with.

Mel is next on the list and honestly a very good match for him, too, although probably not as challenging as he would need to key points. I’ll cover this more for Gil and Ivan later on but I picture Cami and Gil are better at challenging Toni in ways that he could use given his flaws, where as Mel is more middle ground and. God, Ivan. We’ll get to Ivan. With Mel, it’s not that she wouldn’t be capable of challenging him or anything. She’s honestly probably the most prepared for that and can probably shut down a lot of shit the first time she sees it and knows it’s bad. Toni doesn’t talk to her about something important and just does X thing and her confronting him immediately on it. Same with like the one fic I did for the rarepair thing. She sees he’s not honest about who he is and what he likes, and she talks to him right away to kind of address that and why it’s important to her that that change even a little if they’re going to stay together. Really, they are a good match in that they either compliment or contrast each other well. They’re both active worker types who enjoy fighting and such, and though there’d have to be some competition between them, I could imagine it being treated as more playfully competitive than full on “I have to be the best” aggressive. Toni’s more diplomatic and that helps Mel with socializing some times and kind of getting her to take a hot second when angry to calm down and think through her reactions so she doesn’t get too mad and make more enemies than friends. They really do work very well together when they try and it’s not like having each other wouldn’t help better them. Honestly the main reason I don’t move Mel up to the highest potential pairing is just that I don’t picture Mel as the sort that would inspire him to naturally want to change on anything that’s a major issue for him. Like he wouldn’t naturally want to fix the communication thing, he’d just see that mel doesn’t like this so he’d fix it. One of the things that causes Cami to appeal to him most is her being so nice and sweet leads to him trying to be a naturally nicer person and just genuinely care more about people. Tone down that pride and judgement and be more open minded and selfless. The other thing, as we’ll get into with gil, isn’t something he thinks he needs as much initially but would probably learn to recognize a need for more, and that’s just chilling the /fuck/ out for once and just having a breather. Again, he thrives on challenge and stuff, he loves putting 110% into everything if he can, but like. Just relaxing and being chill and not being the best is okay too? And that’s not like “do the work, take a nap, get back to work” that’s like “I don’t have to be prepared to defend my non-existent title on everything to impress people. I can just relax and be myself genuinely and it’s probably fine.”

So let’s just move onto Gil then since that’s the big pro when Toni gets to date him. Honestly, at least atm, I think Gil is the only person Toni ever knows that he feels like he can 100% relax with? Francis is close in most AUs, probably like 95% in more chill scenarios, but Gil has a much more natural way about him where he’s just so honest, it’s infectious to Toni. It really is why he likes Gil so much. Francis is arguably cooler and more fashionable and confident, but Gil seems to have this fucking ultimate zen thing going of owning who he is so completely which even Toni hasn’t mastered yet, and Toni thinks that’s the coolest. Great humor and confidence is a big factor into Toni befriending Gil so closely. Gil can always make Toni relax and laugh and forget his worries for a bit and Toni has such a chill genuine fun time when with Gil, and, again, for someone like Toni who feels like he has to try 110% minimum at all times, feeling comfortable in the moment enough to not feel like he has to impress and watch himself is really nice. Honestly? I feel like there are a lot of things Toni likes that he’s just kind of filtered out of his personality because of reputation, and it’s only when hanging out with gil or the full group that he’ll find himself doing that kind of shit again because he feels like he can get away with it more when with gil and/or francis. Like in a lot of AUs Gil’s probably the first one to get out of Toni that he does like being called Toño more, to the point of I don’t even know if Toni often fully realizes it until Gil gets him to stop and consider it. Like there’s just a lot of stuff like that where Toni doesn’t even think about it anymore. He found ‘Toni’ was the name people found easiest growing up (usually) in America, so he went with that until it felt like his preferred name. God, honestly I think there’s just a lot of Toni’s personality that might not really be his personality and who knows what is or isn’t at any given time? He probably doesn’t on a lot. I sure don’t, I’ve never had this boy down pat. Hell, there’s already the thing of him naturally wanting to swear a lot but training himself to cut that out so he really only does it around Francis and Gil. Like. Maybe dressing up in high business casual all the time is just something he’s convinced himself he likes? What if I say he actually hated tomatoes as a kid and just whoever his guardian is in each AU loved them and made them a lot so he eventually tricked himself into liking them?? I can do anything with this new power, incredible! But yeah, maybe that’s another factor of liking hanging out with Gil too is not just “oh I get to relax and enjoy things I don’t normally allow myself too” but also “sometimes I remember I enjoy things I haven’t done in years and that’s nice”. Fucking Gil one day just questioning “Hey how come you say ‘probably’ or ‘probably not’ a lot when I ask if you like a thing instead of just yes or no?” and then through a slow convo of having to break down toni’s answers because even toni doesn’t realize fully that he does this, that finally coming out and gil just baffled once things click. Gil showing up the next day with a bunch of foods from the store for toni to try and actually see if he likes them. Toni like I don’t think this is how it works, Gil. Gil teasing back ‘maybe you’ve just convinced yourself you don’t think this is how it works when the REAL toni would love my idea? It’s impossible to know!’ and toni just laughing but conceding, sure, yeah, sounds 100% legit and not at all bullshit, what’s first on your goofball buffet, bud?

Okay, distracted again, back to the point. Toni relaxing is good, but I think it’s better as a friendship thing longer term? Toni relaxing every once in a while is a good break, but his morals and priorities and such slip when he’s not careful. Which leads us to the last boy on the list, Ivan. ...Listen. I /love/ the compare and contrast factor between Toni and Ivan because they really do have a surprising amount in common for not seeming like they would at a glance. A couple of terrible smile boys, love them, /but also/. Not the greatest influences on each other. This is especially true in verses like GTA and Nationverse with baggage. Toni tries to be a better person and move past his bloody history, but given who he is, it requires a /lot/ of maintaining. And like the pro with Gil is that I think Gil would still mostly be a good enough influence where even while encouraging toni to relax more, he’d still be a more good than bad influence in almost any AU. Like even GTA, Gil is a chaotic good sort, and that’d be important. But Ivan is decidedly not in those sorts of AUs, and pairings between him and Toni have the potential for being the worst in those. GTA (and probably Nationverse too?), Ivan loves prying at that mask of Toni’s and so tries to instigate him more, that would lead to Toni then pushing back, and like. A long term relay between them in those AUs would be hard. You factor in that Toni’s trust issues are worse in those and his darker instincts are way stronger from his history + Ivan also probably very similar on a lot of those points too and also just has not learned to respect human life at all tbh? Toni’s trying to respect human life, but yknow sometimes it’s hard???? (anyone else: I find it’s not hard at all not to murder people. I often go long periods of time without killing anybody! | toni and ivan: we all have our draughts) I just picture in those AUs they are too much of a chaotic force when together and it would be damaging for themselves and/or others. Plus the idea came up once between Avi and I of the GTA fling between them becoming more romantic but god you’d have to find the perfect storm to really make that happen to be honest? It’s not /impossible/ but it’s very unlikely. Toni doesn’t trust ivan enough to let himself become that close to him really, and if he couldn’t allow himself to let down his walls for cami, it’d be damn fucking hard to get him to do it for ivan in turn. He’d pull himself back before he did, and that could be another factor of ivan trying to pry at toni and see how much he can push him, see if he can pull him back in, but that would just further sour any possibility of an actual romantic relationship. In better AUs where they aren’t both bad kids, it’s a little more possible, but I still think even then, they wouldn’t be /great/ influences on each other. Definitely better! They both learn to try and be on better behavior, but. yknow. The bar was set low; there’s only so many AUs that aren’t better than gta au.

#ignore this #the boss kid #amusing muse musings #hey you au #crossovers! unlimited crossovers!

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illegiblewords · 6 years ago

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Sephirot, The Fiend

What is it like when you pull back the curtain

And realize every wrong is a right?

Your world is rusted like a dirty razor

The edge is calling tonight

The edge is calling tonight (The edge is calling tonight)

The sun is setting, darkness taking over

A date with chaos and you're dressed to the nines

Salt of the earth salting your own fields

Road to destruction that is true and tried

You walk the path laid before you

The call of reason, you refuse to abide

Necessity is an inventive mother

Promising sanctum that

She cannot provide

She is the hand that rocks the cradle

The wind that breaks the bough and leaves you to die

And there She leaves you to die (And there She leaves you to die)

You'll find slumber when the world comes tumbling down

Sweet dreams, baby. Sleep tight!

Retreat where lesser men lead

Flee from what you do not see

Heed the dark within your being

Turn away

Disobey

I'm the end and the beginning

The faith that feeds the unbelieving

A tightening knot to staunch the bleeding

Say my name

Sephirot

The seventh hell's become your seventh heaven

Rose of redemption but a thorn in your pride

Waste no more time fighting your demons

Lay down your arms and let the evil inside

And then you let it inside (And then you let it inside)

You let it eat you till there's nothing left at all

So you can feel that you are truly alive

Better to serve in a waking nightmare

Than rule in their paradise

What is gold, always glitters

But it still comes with an unpayable price

Treading out upon the stagnant waters

Our savior waiting for a turn in the tide

You are the night at the end of the tunnel

The empty void where the serpent lies

Where the serpent lies (Where the serpent lies)

The angels graze in the meadows of excess

They must needs go that the devils drive

Retreat where lesser men lead

Flee from what you do not see

Concede your mind unto the fiend

Turn away

Debts are paid

I'm the end and the beginning

The drug that gives the wretched meaning

The answer every soul is seeking

Say my name

Sephirot

People talk a lot about Sophia, The Goddess. I’ll do a talk for her too but frankly Sephirot is hugely underrated imo and the Warring Triad as a whole deserves serious analysis.

Before anything else, I need to make a bow to higherallagan on reddit for pointing out “someone let Fray write the lyrics.” Because there is no better response than that lol.

In terms of analysis, there are hardcore layers going on.

First, for the triad as a whole I’m going to pose the possibility that they represent the Freudian trio structuring the psyche. These are Id, Ego, and Superego.

Id would be base, instinctive desires stripped of all reason. This is the only personality structure present at birth and ties into bodily needs, wants, and impulses. To feed, to fight, to flee, to fuck, these all tie to the Id. It is immediate gratification, it is to seek pleasure and avoid pain or “unpleasure”, it is unconscious chaos and drive without will. The Id offers no judgment of value, no morality. The union of Eros and Thanatos, or sex and death, exists here.

Ego I would argue is represented in Sophia, while Superego is Zurvan. I’ll go more into Ego and Superego for each of them respectively, but the very short version would be that Superego is intellect and morality while Ego is pragmaticism and the negotiation between Id and Superego in the context of reality.

Naturally Sephirot would absolutely, 110% be Id. This isn’t just because he’s introduced first but also ties into the lyrics of his theme and the motif woven into his nature as an eikon. He is cited as representative of the first tree and its worship. Beyond this, Sephirot through the fight is shown using attacks including Ein Sof Or, summoning Binah and Chokmah, etc. These, along with the name Sephirot itself, all reference the Tree of Life in Judaism as well as Kabbalah specifically. There are ten sephira (singular for sephiroth), or individual nodes on the Tree of Life.

Disclaimer, the English transliterations can be read a few ways. I personally write and pronounce “Kether” as “Keter”, sounding like “kee-tehr”. In actual Hebrew it’s probably pronounced “keh-th-ehr” or “keh-tehr” but I’d need to see the vowel forms to know for sure. I am not known for my ability to pronounce things correctly haha.

Anyway. The singular English words listed under each sephira are not necessarily a clear indicator of what each stage means in practice. I’ve actually done a huge amount of research and do know how to articulate every step. Ex. Keter/The Crown is the moment in which the very possibility of change begins on an internal level. This is well before any externalization of change. It could be the instant that potential energy could begin its transformation to kinetic energy. It could be the seed of an idea that has yet to grow, let alone breach the soil of the mind into action.

The Tree of Life as a whole can be mapped onto any kind of change, from mental to physical to emotional. It also happens to map onto the Big Bang, which is its original representation. It is creation and change, navigating internal and external.

As a concept, the Tree of Life is hugely sacred within Judaism as a faith. Being as Sephirot is an eikon (or primal) specifically however, it exists as a simplified corruption of that concept. This was, in the context of the game, interpreted as being an Id-defined Satan figure similar to what is found in Christian tradition. The serpent lying in the empty void, which ties to negative change or the creation of evil rather than something divine. This is the tempter in the Garden of Eden.

The role of temptation is hugely present throughout The Fiend’s lyrics, again tying to Id specifically. As much as I love the joke about Fray, honestly this does resonate strongly with themes presented in the Dark Knight questline.

If we interpret the song as being specific to the Warrior of Light, it reads something like this:

What is it like when you pull back the curtain

And realize every wrong is a right?

Your world is rusted like a dirty razor

The edge is calling tonight

Warrior of Light has been following the path set by Hydaelyn throughout the storyline, often at their own expense. This has at times been extremely painful on a personal level for the WoL, and requires ignoring the easier, safer, or even more pleasurable alternatives. On top of this, the idea of pulling back the curtain to realize something implies that the WoL has been in deep denial that not only is there another option, but it would feel better to take that option.

Besides being 3edgy, the dirty razor line states that the WoL’s world is old, filthy, ineffective, and painful. Despite this, the WoL forces interaction with it in such a way that is not only self-destructive, but could very well kill them. After all, even after you’ve finished getting split open by something rusty the infection sets in and tetanus will follow.

The edge is calling tonight (The edge is calling tonight)

The sun is setting, darkness taking over

A date with chaos and you're dressed to the nines

WoL is giving up and on some level eager to succumb to temptation and selfishness.

Salt of the earth salting your own fields

Road to destruction that is true and tried

You walk the path laid before you

The call of reason, you refuse to abide

Working hard destroys the earth, or more specifically the WoL themself. It is a form of rendering themself barren on a personal level, a spiritual death. Again, following that path Hydaelyn gave as well as the paths expected by the people of Hydaelyn who see WoL as a hero. That little voice at the back of their head going “maybe we should not” gets ignored.

Necessity is an inventive mother

Promising sanctum that

She cannot provide

She is the hand that rocks the cradle

The wind that breaks the bough and leaves you to die

WoL might not want to perform these tasks anymore but believes it is needed to survive and for the world to survive. In the end though, the idea that trying to fill that need will lead to salvation, to safety and certainty, is not accurate. In the end, no one and nothing will be there to save the WoL themself and they will be destroyed in this pursuit along with everything/everyone they sought to protect. It’s a fool’s errand.

And there She leaves you to die (And there She leaves you to die)

You'll find slumber when the world comes tumbling down

Sweet dreams, baby. Sleep tight!

Only in failure will the WoL find rest, finally free to forget obligations as everything collapses around them.

Retreat where lesser men lead

Flee from what you do not see

Heed the dark within your being

Turn away

Disobey

The WoL might be the most powerful person in the world, but they can still choose not to fight and be selfish. Leave the painful work to “lesser men”. Avoid threats that are not immediately relevant to you and take care of yourself alone, stop following the orders of others.

I'm the end and the beginning

The faith that feeds the unbelieving

A tightening knot to staunch the bleeding

Say my name

Sephirot

Id is present from birth until death, from the beginning of the world until its end. It is self-preservation when trying to do too much gets you hurt, and while it won’t heal the wound itself it will stop you from bleeding out further.

The seventh hell's become your seventh heaven

Rose of redemption but a thorn in your pride

Waste no more time fighting your demons

Lay down your arms and let the evil inside

The world might go to shit but WoL at least would be personally okay. The idea of going back to heroism would become utterly distasteful because of all the pain it promises. It’s time to stop feeling guilty about these things and just embrace it.

And then you let it inside (And then you let it inside)

You let it eat you till there's nothing left at all

So you can feel that you are truly alive

A WoL who becomes wholly selfish 1) ceases to be WoL 2) sacrifices empathy, morality, everything they’ve ever believed in or cared about at the altar of the self. And in return they can be a hedonist and protect themself from being hurt by others.

Better to serve in a waking nightmare

Than rule in their paradise

What is gold, always glitters

But it still comes with an unpayable price

It would be better to give up everything else, all thought of a better world and protection for all, and do the best you can by yourself even if reality sucks. The alternative is enormous responsibility in a world that is good, a paradise, that is understood to be fragile. Of course paradise is tempting but the personal cost of getting there is too high.

Treading out upon the stagnant waters

Our savior waiting for a turn in the tide

You are the night at the end of the tunnel

The empty void where the serpent lies

Stagnant waters = the world, the situation, will always be like this. WoL is waiting for things to change. But even after all work and travel, it will ultimately lead to nothing. The WoL will eventually break and give up and become what the eikon Sephirot foretells.

Where the serpent lies (Where the serpent lies)

The angels graze in the meadows of excess

They must needs go that the devils drive

The good people of Hydaelyn will become soft and vulnerable in paradise and inevitably, more “devils” or wicked people will have them at their mercy.

Retreat where lesser men lead

Flee from what you do not see

Concede your mind unto the fiend

Turn away

Debts are paid

Concede your mind unto the fiend = you know I’m right. Turn away, debts are paid = You’ve done enough, stop.

I'm the end and the beginning

The drug that gives the wretched meaning

The answer every soul is seeking

Say my name

Sephirot

The drug that gives the wretched meaning = when everything else has broken you, you will have only yourself and you will have no choice but to say your self is enough. The answer every soul is seeking = everyone wants to know on some level that they are enough, that they have personal value, that they are worth saving and protecting, that they have a right to pleasure and happiness of their own. That they can pursue their id as nature has always been driven and not feel ashamed.

Tbh I do think Beauty’s Wicked Wiles/Lakshmi’s theme has similar motifs woven in and could possibly be read as a continuation of the WoL’s desperation to escape. But that would be another post.

#Sephirot the Fiend #final fantasy 14 #final fantasy xiv #ffxiv #warring triad #hardcore analysis under the cut

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disarmingly · 7 years ago

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I'm curious how do you feel? What are you thinking about right now? Your little drabble and pics have such a sense of longing and bittersweetness to them that I guess you somehow must feel it yourself right now for it to be portrayed so raw and real and beautifully.

!!!! i am putting this under read-more! the contents are not very good/hopeful as i would like to portray and convey primarily online but they are an edited down truth. trigger(????) warnings for depression, general sadness, self-loathing, mention of suicidal thoughts/ references even in fiction, that whole bucket hat of stuff.

!!!!!! i have been going through a not so great time. for a while. and i try to keep that edited down and i am not very good at it so it leaks out everywhere as you probably noticed and i guess my point is that all that leakage IS me trying to keep it to myself and failing, tip of the iceberg kind of deal. !!!

i do my best to find good in things because if nothing else i feel i owe it to the universe to do so --- this will sound stupid i guess but the series noragami? there is this part where a guy is considering ending his life bc he’s in debt etc etc and in the midst of trying to persuade him to let go of the one thing keeping him from being able to take that choice back and actually live, he says he doesn’t want to let that one thing (his ‘love’ of a girl so to speak/ his memory) go and i don’t remember yato’s exact response verbatim but he’s basically like if you’re willing to literally die like this then you have no business loving anyone in the first place. i think this can be taken wrong, too simplified, but in my opinion the true and more complex intent is that the struggle and pain of being alive helps us be able to appreciate true love -- for our friends, for our family perhaps, for romantic partners, for our pets, for any other living being and later perhaps for their memory. i’m digressing but i’m trying to say that i think of stuff like this when it gets really bad, which unfortunately it has been for a while.

people do not generally like to know Too Much i guess unless it makes them feel powerful but once in a while knowing Enough makes people feel close and that’s not a bad thing. so i guess in the hopes that it��s the latter, that i won’t scare people away, or disappoint them, i’m trying to be honest here without going overboard.

you know when you hit a ball in a pinball machine and it goes literally everywhere? my mental state is that ball and almost everything is one of those little switches. i think a lot of people feel this way in varying degrees. at the stage i am, i feel overwhelmed all the time in a very negative way. on top of that, i have been fighting tooth and nail to get back to a place with writing that doesn’t feel so wretched but i can’t seem to get there. i produce work, it can’t be worked over more -- i recognize that at a certain point and post it, or it’s a fly-by-night kind of knee jerk result of feelings and such more than equal parts planning and feeling -- but it’s not right. i went a while without being able to write anything, so to be able to write here was such a relief i cried for weeks and i guess that had to do with the death all around me too but i’m being plain as i can be when i say my only worth i ever was able to recognize was my writing. it’s still true. so when it goes long times without working or being recognizably working to me, it does something bad to me.

i am working to get past it, every day. a sentence here. a thought there. i try new methods, new styles, but writing to me is as close maybe as i would get to falling in love? but if it could be, and it definitely could, it is that thing where you fall in love but the person does not fall in love with you back. i can chase, i can try to change everything. but it’s not reciprocal in a way that makes me feel like i can look to it. and i guess that’s hard for me, even if it sounds stupid.

i want to be so much better than i am and improvement is so slow i don’t even think it may be happening.

that sense of longing, that bittersweet?? ness??? it’s definitely tehre. and it has to do with other things too i’m sure --- people. fear. bad things that have happened lately and set me back actual years.

i am rambling. anyway that longing is just...i think the feeling of someone powerfully in love and watching it fade or afraid it’s already gone and maybe it’s one’s own fault? is how i feel. it’s just about writing and people, and it gets infused into how i see things like hyyh and many of my aus where people wonder about the choices they made or didn’t make, about worth. and about whether it’s okay to love people when even that love is unreliable. is it okay for me to continue so erratically? that sort of thinking.

there is this idea if you keep producing a volume of work eventually you crest that hard spell, but for some people it’s months and others it’s years and that’s scary. i honestly kind of hate it. it feels lonely and it feels impossible. i can’t write largely accessible things. i can only write closer to what i know and that’s definitely a weakness. but it would be okay if i could stop losing it all the time, but i’m mainly good at losing it seems. ah i’m sorry this is very negative i wanted to try to be more practical.

i get so worried about everything. i do long for things. mostly to not feel...like i usually do. but it’s up to me i guess in the end to see it through to that point, should it ever come. it’s my responsibility. and i do take it seriously despite all my sadness and Wanting of things that perhaps aren’t things i deserve.

idk if this answered your question or just gave you more.... oTL forgive me...

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halforc-mercenary · 6 years ago

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Thoughts on material possessions in general?

Mar knows that she should not put so much meaning in her material posessions. She knows that her sword is important because its a weapon that keeps her alive and without it she would not be able to work and earn money. She knows that her mounts are suppsoe to be nothing but tools she needs to carry her belongings and herself. she knows that her cookingtools and tent and other belongings are just tehre to keep her alive and working and for nothing else. She knows that her clothes and armor are there to protect and warm her and to show her wealth in the dyed red cloth that is so expensive to dye. That the cloth is simple cheap linen is somethign Mar tries to hide. However in the same way she can not forget that the sword had cost most of the inside of her Dowry-chest and is the most precious of her belongings. She can not forget how Come-here would lovingly níbble on her sleeve when Mar would sit alone in her camp after a hard day. And she can not forget how she had sit with her fostress in the afternoonsun as a child, embroideryn the clothes mar wears now which ahd been sewed for mars dowry-chest to belong to a potential husband, and she can not forget that the cloth still smelled like Hedwig, when Mar had first put them on after she had found her dowry-chest in her Greatuncles old house.

Mar can not bring herself to not be emotional tied to certaine of her material belongings, even thought she knows that she should not do that. It would not be pragmatic.

#headcanon #thanks for the ask! :D

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inthemidstofyouandme · 4 years ago

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I just realize that no matter how many friends I have and no matter how hard I try to be better. I am still below everyone else in everything. Everyone that i know are prolly smarter and prettier than me and have more money then me. That’s why people like them. Hi I’m Dawn, and I have no friends that really truly care for me or my existence. i think it’s gotten the best of me on how i feel about have anyone close to me because no matter how hard I try to be anyone’s friend I pretty much is nothing but a throw away toy to most people.

It’s pretty hard for me to think of someone who would have my back in anything. No matter how hard i try to be tehre for them I am never enough.

I guess when i think about my future or who should i share any exciting news i find everyone who I thought were my friends lack luster....

Is it because I was not made of lavish lifestyle and not money oritenated. is that why people do want to be around me. Or am I just boring and mundane. No one have any interest on what i do in my life. I guess that makes it easier for people to forget about you. I apparently are not so memorable...

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xottzot · 7 years ago

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2017-09(SEP)-24th-Sunday--HELL CONTINUES HERE AGAIN.

There was NO ENTRY for Monday yestsrday becuse I as so very very ill with the flu. Almost throwing up all the time, head spinning so much I could barely walk, nose completely blocked up unable to breath through there properly ,making sleep impossible,making laying down impossible, making sitting up impossible. If I tried sitting up, it was like a water tap running was what my nose was like. And a VERY terrible constant headache that no painkiller does anything for at all.

ALL of that is still going on, even right now as I struggle tp type this. Going back to bed ill. This hovel is extremely cold. Colder than outside.

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Poor Sam and Max are also not feeling well at all either.

Once AGAIN/STILL....criminal aboriginals andor their not-quite-aboriginal associates weer roaming the streets which upset poor Sam and Max, even VERY late at night in the darkness. There were continually woken up and would growl at what was going on outside the hellhole.

I of course, being so damned ill, did NOT look. But poor Max was almost continially growling. Sam was very much like that too.

Some shithead (crimial abo's it soudned like) yelling out at somebody outside with whomever they were prowling the streets with VERY late at night as they go from one abo criminal house to another.

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Also, to add to flu misery, there ws a LOT of grass mowing going on......

Just a few days ago, two places (empty of any residents) had their grass mown. -- THEN...a few days later, a young man came along....and did ALL that AGAIN. YES AGAIN. And as he was foing that, he was very concerned with the amount of criminal aboriginals roaming all about him and aorund and past his parked vehicle. He does NOT live anywhere about. Who he is is unknown. So much mowing he did at the two empty houses that criminal aboriginals have constantly been invading....

Then...yesterday...he comes back AGAIN....and does all the mowing AGAIN. This is the 3rd time in a week!

Noise, fumes, stopping and starting, then remowing over and over.

As I keep saying......NOTHING about this hellhole area makes ANY sense, and nor does any feeble explanation uttered by others is any explanation or makes any sense.....

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Then today....Monday......early in the morning.....

Not one West Australian POLICE vehicle....

Not two West Australian POLICE vehicles....

But THREE (at least) West Australian POLICE vehicles were at the cojoined aboriginal criminal households. - What they were doing I have no idea. In any event it always results in false calm and false reassurance to all innocents.

And from across the road from the two (next to each other) aboriginal criminal households, at ANOTHER aboriginal criminal household across the road from there (Fatguts's ol' place), abo activity of so many of the abo's 'living' there constantly going in and out of the hsoue to look outside to see what was going on...inlcuding a toddler in diapers wandering about. Very unusally, the abo's kept the diaper toddler from running onto the road which is so very UNLIKE the criminal abos'. But it is only for show of course, and ONLY because of all the Police cars filling the road and being about just outside their doors.

And as soon as the Police will go away, they'll all be flowing out onto the streets again....as has happened countles times....countless times.

And that VERY criminal vicious abo girl with her right arm almost all in a plaster cast....she was out tehre and went from the abo criinal hosues, crossed the road, and went straight into the associated other criminal abo house. - obody belives any of this shit. How connected they all are. How criminal they all are. How vicious they all are.

Nope....everyone believes the utter public relations bullshit of abo indignations and protests and shit in the media instead.

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Gping back to have some bare bread and plain hot soup. Can't eat anything else. Feeling very unwell again. And that's a constant now. Even without the damned flu.

Poor Sam & Max want to go back to bed with me as well. They were like that last night. Cuddled against me on the bed, in the cold. And I was as always, cold in bed.

It will very soon be so hot with NO relief at all for us all and the hell will continue with everything.

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At 9:16am now....the Police are STILL there, but they would have been there even longer long before I first saw them.

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Internet VERY slow....why should I ever mention that when it's almost constant.

And the internt provider has been actively spamming me for three days straight with auto-droid NBN shit in my email and on my mobile phone which stops me which and is in addition and stops from ever getting any rest.

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I've sneezed about 30 times or more whilst typing in all this.

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ALONE

SO terribly so without dear Fliss.

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P.--I love you Fliss and want to be with you.

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