#because sure he might have always had anger issues but if his dad didn't show him

[realitybled]

when you are your father's son

[strqyr]

genuine question: do people want bad, inconsistent writing? is that it? because that's the only way "taiyang is and always has been a horrible father and yang had to raise ruby all on her own and she resent him for it" makes any damn sense.

like. where's the resentment?

where is yang, while happy that ruby is one step closer to achieving her lifelong dream, feeling just slightly frustrated that she's once again sharing a room with her sister, when going to beacon was supposed to be a place just for her for at least two years without having to watch after ruby and feel guilty over it?

where's the resentment when tai sent zwei to the girls to be taken care of while he's away on a mission, placing that responsibility on yang again? why show yang instead being flippant about the whole ordeal, and shrugging it off like it's nothing, being ready to leave zwei alone in the dorm room for the week they're away because he has the absurd amount of food and a can opener tai provided them?

where's yang bringing up how she had to apparently grow up early because tai wasn't there, when she wanted to be treated like an adult?

where's the resentment when yang was about to leave home under the assumption it was her keeping her father from going after ruby, only to find out he isn't coming with her, once again leaving the responsibility of taking care of ruby on her shoulders?

because the show i watched, it doesn't exist. to even remotely get to that point you'd have to ignore ruby talking about their dad in a way that makes it clear he was present and raising them, you'd have to ignore yang having to wait for him to be out of the house to leave herself once again proving he was present and attentive of them, you'd have to ignore ruby's first happy memory being from that same time period (and with no corresponding sad memory to counter it), you'd have to ignore him reading them bedtime stories and taking them out for boba after school, making sure he's spending time with them even when he's busy with work.

you'd have to ignore that both yang and ruby have a good relationship with their father.

that is not to say tai doesn't have his flaws—every damn character in this show does—, but that's exactly what V4 is about. the rift that existed between yang and taiyang was his refusal to talk about raven and doing his best to prevent her from looking for her. that's it. just compare the difference in tone between yang's "oh, so now we can talk about her?" and "i don't know. some things you just need to be there for." and it's clear as a day where the resentment actually lies.

therein lies the core of the arc between yang and tai, and like many issues between characters in this show, it gets resolved: for the first time ever, he properly talks with yang about raven, and when yang is about to leave, he doesn't try to stop her like he has before; instead, he asks her where she's going, and gives information that might help make her journey easier.

if they intended there to be any lingering resentment from yang, 'boba' was not the way to do it. we know what yang's resentment looks like: anger, snappiness, the like. it's not quiet, almost somber.

they could have written yang treating tai's absence in vacuo as something she has come to expect from him, but they didn't; instead, she wonders why, because she can't fathom what could be more important for their father than being there, in vacuo, with them.

and that alone comes as validation for everyone who has wondered the same: why is tai staying in patch when everyone else is on the move? this is a character we're first properly introduced to as a father who has fallen asleep by his daughter's bedside waiting for her to wake up, a father who is almost brought to tears by relief that both of his daughters are back home and safe.

a father we last saw being absolutely desperate for his daughter to come back on screen when ruby's message cut short.

and beyond brings a sledgehammer and says yes, it is odd that taiyang hasn't left home to be by his daughters' side. wonder why that is, must be something important, wink wink ;)

and if you ask me, that sounds like a pretty damn good "long con", and damn good writing.

[6rookie-writer0110]

Request - Hey I went to know if you can do head cannons for Jasper Cullen x demigod male reader. Who his boyfriend/mate/husband is a son of Ares/Mars who has a really bad anger issues and daddy issues (you can choose it he's Roman or Greek)

•Your dad Ares made you angry. Jasper knows it's hard for you to calm down in certain situations. He pulled you away and starts to calm you down, he told you to breathe in and out and he gently rubbed your arms.

•Your father Ares, has never been a parent to you. Since you were a teenager the relationship between father/son got worse.

•He didn't show up to your wedding when you married Jasper.

•Sometimes, Jasper would help you train.

•Jasper would surprise you with a romantic dinner. He always knows how to make you smile.

•There are times when you argue with your father or Jasper, and you would use your ability to teleport somewhere else. Jasper hates it when you do that.

•When you are angry, you would punch something. It won't hurt your hand because you would heal rapidly.

•You and Jasper are affectionate with each other.

•His family loves you but they don't get along with your father.

•Jasper had defended you against your dad. He won't let anyone disrespect you.

•When your husband is feeling weak, you would get blood for him.

•You go on trips with Jasper to get away from everything.

•Jasper has a picture of you in his wallet.

•For your birthday, Jasper will make sure your dad won't ruin it.

•sometimes, you like to spoil your husband with gifts and affection.

•You and Jasper have inside jokes.

•He might not show a lot of emotions but you can sense how Jasper is feeling.

•When you and Jasper argue, you would sleep in the guest room for a few days.

•You love it when Jasper cooks for you.

•Your father Ares has tried to ruin your marriage with Jasper, and you almost fought your father if Jasper didn't step in.

•Jasper always reminds you that you are loved and that you are different from your father.

•Even when you and Jasper are annoyed with each other, at night while going to sleep you two would still cuddle.

•You and Jasper would help each other train.

•Jasper would come up with ways to help you calm down.

•On movie night, you would cuddle with Jasper.

•You got extremely angry at your father, that you and him started to fight. Jasper and Emmett stepped in to stop the fight.

•Jasper would go with you to anger management class.

[queenofapeacefuldawn]

that took long bc i had to collect everything and then my dad asked me to come downstairs and help him find his glasses 🤡

~*~*~*~

The boy caught Mini staring, and he did that cute thing where his mouth went up and his teeth showed. At that moment, Mini could've sworn someone had hit the "pause" button on the world. She saw that adorable gleam in his eyes, the way his pearly white teeth glinted in the sunlight, and his silky hair as it fell over the side of his face, ever so slightly covering his brown eyes. Mini's brain processed his smile at a slow pace as she gawked at him, her heart fluttering slightly.

Then he winked at her.

He winked.

At her.

And then maybe someone had hit the "play" button on the world again, because Mini's body had decided that that was the perfect opportunity to bump into a pole.

~*~*~*~

Mini tried to mask her faint smile with fake anger as soon as she heard the shuffling of clumsy feet behind her.

“Um, Mini? Can we, uh, talk?”

“We don’t need to talk.”

“But–”

“Leave, Rudy.” She didn't need to turn around to know that Rudy was probably about to babble about something behind her.

“That’s exactly what Aru told me to do, so I came here! Where else am I supposed to go now that you’re telling me to leave too? You know, I always thought you were the only one of the Potatoes who liked me, even if it was just a bit. They all think I'm just a, y'know, and it's annoying! If you’re going to be on my side, then who is?”

Mini made a small noise with her throat, a mixture of annoyance, confusion, and pity.

~*~*~*~

She knew the final war had taken a great toll on Aru. She was exhausted, and so was her mother. They would rarely come out of the museum, and Mini felt nothing but pity and sorrow for the two.

Though the burden she carried wasn’t as bad as theirs, she had never felt worse. Constant headaches and dark thoughts filled her mind. School work was piling up. And on top of everything, she had to talk to… Rudy.

She wondered how he was, back in Naga-Loka. Was he happy? Maybe being spoiled with gems and riches, like a normal naga prince? Did he have… A girlfriend?

Mini pushed her questions aside.

Math first, Rudy issues later, she told herself.

~*~*~*~

She got on her tippy-toes and looked through the peep-hole.

Rudy.

Her heart seemed to beat ten times faster, and her palms became slightly sweaty as her hand wrapped itself around the doorknob. She pulled the door open–revealing Rudy–and squinted, as he was dressed in his usual blinding white clothes.

All of a sudden her brain seemed to process things at a lag, though–one second, she and Rudy were a couple feet away from one another, and the next, Rudy seemed to have wrapped his arms tightly around her in a bear hug, preventing any oxygen from entering her body.

~*~*~*~

Rudy tapped his pencil against the table, legs swinging forwards and backwards under the desk. He took a breath in, as if he were about to reveal one of his darkest secrets.

“So, Mini…”

Mini gulped. “Yes?”

“I don’t know how to say this, but, you’re really smart and all, so…”

Her breath sped up a bit. “Go ahead.”

“Will you…Um… Tutor me?”

Mini froze as disappointed coiled up inside of her. The way Rudy had been speaking, Mini had assumed that he’d meant… Something else.

She barely processed the sorrow evident on Rudy’s face.

“You know, I would ask Aiden, but he would probably be annoyed, and I really need you to tutor me since I might join human school and all that, I need to know the basics of things work and stuff–” 

“Oh! Yeah, sure. I… I guess.”

~*~*~*~

Rule number three, make the first move, because Rudy is an idiot, Mini reminded herself of Aru’s words.

And then she leaned in without even a moment of hesitation.

I AM CHEWING ON GLASS AJDJSJFJDHHDHXHSHSD

RIPPING UP MY CARPET AJDUSHDJSJDHDBDBVDBSHSNEKSKEJEN

[lonelier-version-of-you]

Well. There was once a time I would have said it was impossible to waste another well-known actor who's on a show for a year and playing a really interesting character with an implied tragic backstory more than Holby did with Paul McGann as John Gaskell.

I take it back. Congratulations, Casualty has wasted Nigel Harman as Max Cristie more than Holby wasted Paul McGann as John. At least John Gaskell's exit was sad in a well-done-story way and had been built up to. This was sad in an infuriating way and has come out of nowhere.

I don't believe this is in character for Max at all. This is just horrible and cold, him walking out on Jodie again like this. Even if he believes she's better off without him, which is the kindest to Max interpretation of his behaviour I can think of... how can he believe walking out while she's still recovering is what's best for either of them?

Look. Max Cristie is not and never has been a good man. He's a volatile, selfdestructive, emotionally dysregulated mess with anger issues who makes other people's lives worse as well as his because he has a terrible sense of judgement about what he should or shouldn't do. He runs away when things get tough and is frightened of emotional intimacy. He has also been a terrible dad to Jodie.

But he was trying to get somewhere with her and cared about her in some sort of messed-up repressed way. Maybe not enough, maybe not the way he should have done, but in some way. And I don't believe he could have done this if he cared about Jodie in any way.

As I say, Max running away when things get hard is something we've seen in him before. More metaphorically than Henrik - who I always think to compare him to because I think they're very alike in personality - perhaps, and more metaphorically than he did tonight, but it's not unheard of. But this was just terribly handled.

This would have been cold and hard to believe coming from Henrik. From Max, it makes no sense at all.

It might've done something if we'd heard anything about him wanting to work elsewhere before. Even a few lines, from Dylan maybe - "Max, you never could settle down for long" or something like that - would have done a lot to establish that he can't be expected to stay. Similarly, maybe if Max's backstory had been explained at any point - instead of vague implications of some sort of traumatic or difficult past that are never explained - this might be more believable. It's not forgivable, but it could have been written in such a way as to be understandable. As it is? I can't even say it's that.

I mean, seriously, Max gets three scenes in his last ep? Three scenes and that's it? All because about 90% of the time was going to Faith and Iain drama that I do not care about. Argh. I already felt unwell with a headache today, I didn't need this too.

There's definitely not going to be any aftermath for Jodie either, is there? She should be devastated by this, realistically. She should really struggle to trust others after this. But I don't think any of that will happen. We'll be lucky if we get one scene of her saying she's sad about it after this week.

The Faith and Iain stuff just really upsets me. The way Faith behaves towards and about Natalia is awful to see and I'm tired of the show pretending Faith isn't abusive. And now Iain's being awful too. Natalia is a grown woman - a young one, yes, but a grown woman nonetheless (she's, what, 19-ish? 18 at the youngest) - and yet they talk down to her and patronise her constantly. She's struggling, and they're just seeing her as a "problem" to put up with. I can't stand it. Obviously her behaviour towards Iain was also out of line, but it's understandable why she's misreading him and I don't think the way he's reacting will do anything good for her. Though tbf he did already try to let her down gently, I suppose. Also, I relate to Nat a lot so I can't be 100% sure I'm coherent on this. I might be projecting too much.

It was nice for Jacob to get screentime, but he can't bond with Siobhan soon enough - I'm tired of him being Iain's life advice counsellor.

There were some great patient storylines tonight. It was nice to see Dylan in Dylan Disability Advocacy Keogh mode again, and I thought the story with Charlie's patients was handled very sensitively.

I'm so glad Charlie apologised to Stevie. She deserved it, and it was a lovely scene. For once, I agree with Charlie - Stevie is great and I hope to see her back soon.

Next week, we get Zoe Hanna back! Yay!

[carboardserpent]

what are your reasonings for liking chick hick describe in vivid detail

Oh boy where do I even start.

Okay so...

Chick isn't the first character like him that I've gotten attached to. The other one is Guzma, from gen 7 of Pokémon.

They're very similar in a lot of ways. They're the big scary antagonist with anger issues and they cause a lot of destruction which may or may not harm people (or cars?) around them. A lot of people might only see that about them.

But if you go looking, there's a lot more depth to them. Daddy issues, for one. We find that out in the Cars comics. Chick's father was abusive, no two ways about that. Nothing was ever good enough for him except first place. He got angry with Chick for stopping to help one of the other racers, claiming that he should be doing everything in his power to win, not wasting his time on others (I'm paraphrasing, that might not be exactly what was said).

The fact Chick stopped to help shows us that he wasn't always bad. He was a good kid, and I firmly believe that. It was his father who told him over and over again that he must "win at all costs" that did the damage. When you spend your whole life trying desperately to please someone who cannot be pleased, that's bound to end up reflected in who you become.

I believe that he's violent on the track because that's what he thinks he needs to do to win. Just like his dad told him. And he's insufferable off the track because of an inferiority complex: He's never won. He has a rival that always beats him, and the entire racing fanbase (millions of people) dislikes him for how reckless and destructive he is. That, of course, only gets much, much worse after the end of the first film.

Now those millions of people all hate him. He let his anger get the best of him. He wanted to beat his rival one last time before Strip retired. We know at the point he crashed Strip that he knew he couldn't win. Lightning was miles ahead. He didn't crash Strip to try and win. He specifically said, "I am not coming in behind you again." That's the inferiority complex coming through. When you go your entire career and never get more than second place because of one specific man, yeah. You're gonna be bitter about it.

Then, when Lightning stopped, that meant Chick won. He wasn't expecting to win, but he did. He won, and as a result, his dad would be proud of him. Right? Well, we can't know for sure, but I don't think so. Not because he crashed Strip, no. But because Lightning LET him win. So despite everything, despite being universally hated by millions of people, he still couldn't make that one man proud of him, which is what he's been trying to do his entire life.

Then we get to Cars 3. At this point, Chick has had YEARS of being hated by the entire racing community. He's probably incredibly depressed, clutching to the one cup he has like a lifeline and living purely out of spite. He made a TV show so people couldn't just put him out of their minds. He made it a good show, so even if they hated him, they would still watch it. They made his life miserable, so he's not going to let them forget about him. I think he leans into the hate because otherwise it would smother him. How could it not? Everyone expects him to act like a dick, so he does. He's even worse than he used to be. At this point, it's his entire identity.

Under all that, though, I think he's probably hurting and lonely. I don't think Strip's crash was supposed to be as bad as it was. I think all he wanted was to cause him to spin out into the infield. Harmless. But it went wrong, and he leaned into it to save his already fragile ego. It was easier to admit he was brutal than it was to admit he made a mistake. Especially when his dad was watching.

But you know, most of that is just speculation and some headcanons to fill in the gaps. It's why I love him so much, though. I thought about the effects of his actions and what impact that might have on him, but I also tried to figure out why he did those things to begin with. That's important for understanding a character; the why. This is where I ended up.

Thank you for asking, though, because I can not gush about this guy enough. I have so many Thoughts(tm) about him.

[viiinz]

omg okay, idk how much info you want on these characters, but let's go

Dmitri: "i'm sure he hates his father almost as much as he's just like him" HOLY SHIT I think you just hit on the guy's biggest fear and the source of all his anger and self loathing. (personally I think he's a better person than his father, if only for the fact that Dmitri truly wants to be a better and honourable person and beats himself up over his constantly failing to do so, whereas his father takes pleasure in acting upon his worst qualities). what you said about eldest siblings is very interesting! tho it should be noted that fydor (the dad) didn't raise any of his children, so he has always been an absent parent. Dmitri also didn't grow up with his siblings, so I don't think he has that same sense of responsibility that you might find in a lot of eldest siblings. he does have massive abandonment issues tho.

"his problem is that he cannot kill him in any way that matters." OOOH TRUE

btw he's also the most babygirl character I've ever read about, he has the most insane moodswings (like he's partying one second and contemplating suicide the next), scares the shit out of everyone by acting super unhinged, he tells the entire town that he wants to kill his dad and then his dad actually dies and he's like 😮 when the police arrest him as the main suspect

Ivan: I'm nodding along at everything you said about Ivan! I'm afraid I don't know you well enough to say whether you have anything in common with Ivan or not, maybe his more argumentative side? he really goes all in when it comes to explain his views. other than that he's very rational, too rational actually. he tries very hard to find a rational meaning for suffering and rejects the entire order of the universe when he doesn't find one. he's also very individualistic, growing up he always had a feeling that he had to do everything on his own. which is probably a result of his childhood and that carries on into his adulthood. his very religious mother was said to have gone insane from the abuse of their dad and she died when he was 6. that must have been very traumatic (especially fucked up is the fact that Fyodor didn't even remember that Ivan was the child of his second wife, like he just forgot). this might have resulted in both his extreem independence and his aversion towards religion. tho religion forms the core of his entire way of thinking, he rejects god but in doing so cannot stop thinking about it. he's cold and detached, but it's clear from his worldview that he cares a lot about right and wrong and justice, in a broad sense. he loves humanity, but doesn't show it. "he needs a little of absurdism in his life to balance that sad nihilism" you're so right, that sad nihilism is exactly what is slowly eating away at him. also your tags ahzhsh, yeah. also Katya (Dmitri's ex-fiancée) is very proud and has the most insane saviour-complex and Ivan has *gestures vaguely at him* all that going on. I think they'd make a fascinating couple to study under a microscope tbh

Alexei (usually referred to as Alyosha): you're spot on with Alyosha!! to me he really is a character I relate to deeply, but I cannot pinpoint why. here are some fun facts about him: pretty much everyone in the book loves him, tho he's often described as odd. like his mom he's prone to "fits of hysteria", he laughs at inappropriate times, he blushes A LOT, he sometimes has a very off-putting smile at times when he really shouldn't be smiling, he's reserved but everyone immediately trusts him, he's kind, compassionate and nonjudgmental, but he's also far from perfect. a lot of people kinda brush him off as an all-round good perfect boy, and while yes!! he is a very sweet guy!! I feel like limiting him to just that, is kind of doing his character a disservice. to me he really just reads as a guy trying to do his best despite everything. he wants to help everyone, but because of the sheer impossibility of that task, he often fails at this as well. he takes on the suffering of so many of the characters in this novel, but one person can only carry so much. and while he's definitely the most mentally stable brother (the bar is very low), he always kinda feels like a dam about to burst. he did have a moment in which he (understandably) kinda snapped, in which he suddenly became rude, uncaring and apathetic and holy shit, like this wouldn't feel like that big of a deal from any other character, but because it's in such direct opposite to how he usually is, it was honestly chilling to read. there are also some throw away lines and things he says sometimes that suggest that there is more to him than meets the eye and that he has a lot of darker thoughts he doesn't talk about. he's just like the embodiment of "aw a little guy" "oh he's a little fucked up actually"

Smerdyakov: one of my favourite character to rotate in my head! he's so interesting!!! "i'm sure he hates them all and he has all good reasons." EXACTLY!! he's so full of hatred and honestly very understandably so! the only one he cares about is Ivan, but Ivan doesn't care about him 😭 he is the most isolated character from all of these, even the narrator dislikes him. "Bro needs to leave that place." yes!! he actually wanted to move to France, he was even learning French in his spare time. poor little meow meow indeed, the author makes it very difficult to sympathise with him, but I can't help it

avzhdzje now I'm curious what are your thoughts on the brothers karamazov based on your quick googling about the characters? I can definitely see a bit of Ivan in you, tho perhaps only some parts, he's definitely an interesting guy and has some of the best parts in the book

hello V! This post will be full of innacuracies and probably hot takes so beware akjsdkasjd <3 Dimitri: The eldest and as such i'm sure he hates his father almost as much as he's just like him. This is my personal view but i think the eldest sibling is never allowed to kill the parent, by the way. Eldest children most of the time are very aware of the consecuences of the absence of the parents because once the parent is gone, they are the ones to bear the burden. Anyway, I think he wants to be free of his dad, but his problem is not that he hates the man, his problem is that he cannot kill him in any way that matters. Ivan: Ivan sounds like a brand of men i find particularly funny (maybe because i am a little like that to my shame). The "i have to show everyone that i am the smartest person in the room at all times" type of guy but that despite their obvious struggle with self worth, they are still graciously based. I think the fact that he wants to marry his brother's fiancee has him particularly bitter, he needs a little of absurdism in his life to balance that sad nihilism. It's sad he was a XIX century russian, he would have been a God of fried based memes in XXI. Alexei: Of course he's a good boy. He's the second son who doesn't carries the horrors of being the eldest, he's also the youngest, which makes him more emotional and compassionate, willing to find happiness on his own and to oppose that he views as wrong.

Bonus: Smerdyakov: i'm sure he hates them all and he has all good reasons. Bro needs to leave that place. Come to America bro, make your own gang in the rising cities. My poor little meow meow. Now, Vince it's your turn to give me your based opinion on them and explain what our test result mean.

[freestyle-crocodile-trashpile]

Can we have the part 2 for the 2014/16 turtles with younger brother with anger issues? 🥰

A/n:yall been waiting for this. Thank you for requesting

Summary:part 2 of the younger brother with anger issues

Type:scenario:Turtles & male reader

Version:2014/16

~

When you woke up you panicked, completely forgetting that you and leo got in a fight and you ran off. But as soon you remembered you tensed realizing you had to go home. You knew they could probably easily find you but they wouldn't knowing you'd only get more mad because you'd think they just think they think your irresponsible. But you wanted them to come to you, but they wouldn't. You never told splinter were you went so he might have leos head and your brothers. You forced yourself to stand you, legs shaking a little from the uncomfortable flooring. You struggled a little, and the new york coldness started to bite at your scaly skin, even though you had tuff skin you easily got cold unlike your brothers they adapted to the cold but since you were younger you never adapted and always was in a heated area. As you walked back to the lair with shaking legs you tried to think of what to say to leo, you knew you hurt him but you couldn't help it. He didn't understand and wouldn't try to. It's not like you were running away, you just wanted to see new york like they do. To see the beauty of the bright city. But he wouldn't understand, if it was mikey or raph maybe since they did it to and understand wanting to see the beauty. And your not sure about Donnie if he did he'd probably take forever making sure you have everything you need and that you have a tracker. For some reason he'd always put tracker with any of you went out by yourself, it like he knows everything. He instantly knows when someone leaves the lair so he definitely knows your not at the lair. When you got to the lair leo was pacing around, and donnie looked right at you. There he go's again instantly knowing when someone leaves or enters the lair.

"Leo"

Leo looked over at Donnie and without looking at Leo he pointed at you. Leo looked so you and without a second to lose you were in his arms, being crushed in a hug. You heard him sob as he apologized over and over. In that moment you realized just how much Leo cared for you. You always thought he was just trying to hold you back and not let you experience what they did, because he can. But no it was because he was scared for you, and was trying to protect you, but because all you other brothers are the same age he couldn't do it to them since he grow up with them. You came into the life when they were 6 and you were 3 so it's different for you. You never went out when they did, because they were allowed to leave the lair when they were 15.

"I'm sorry Leo, I just didn't understand but I get it now I'm sorry"

Leo stopped apologizing and just held you tighter.

"No I should have been more clear, I was being a bad brother, and leader. You don't need to apologize"

You chuckled. You knew what he meant. And glad he realized.

"Did you see new york?"

"No"

Leo pulled away shocked.

"Why not?"

You looked down and rubbed your arm.

"I couldn't knowing I probably hurt your feelings"

Leo smiled.

"How about tonight? We can all go see it and show you the beauty of this city"

You thought about it, it was a great offer but you wanted to wait. It wasn't time. They went out at 15 so you'll wait another year. And plus there's no way splinter will let you or them.

"Nah, I'll wait. And do you really think dad will let me go out?"

Leo looked at you then over his shoulder towards were splinter was.

"You got a point"

You laughed and you could tell Donnie took a picture. He usually does, he saying it's just to remember nice moments but you think it's ofr blackmail. He's done it before and he'll definitely do it again. Your sure of it.

~

A/n:I hope you enjoyed

[slime-sandwhich-nom]

Anyway monkey fandom, i am BACK.

i was looking around and i found a couple of stuff about my monkey guy, and i wanted to share what i think of it!

First of all, it's about jttw.

We all know in the jttw universe, it happened already and we are watching what happens AFTER it,

We got reincarnation ect.

But most importantly,

Wukong.

well, how he changed,

Now from what we saw of him in the amnesia episode, he seemed rather happy, energetic and actually playful to say.

Going along with everyone, and obviously being reckless and impulsive as always, but!

Someone made me notice, how it might just be because of his good mood.

now, i strongly think that wukong during and before jttw he was a total asshole, like. Seriously he was an awful person.

If he wasn't, why would he needed to be redeemed?

Of course he became a bad person because of trauma and people well, mistreating him.

but let's see, maybe he had anger issues as in the book, he is very feared for his bad temper. Especially when he goes on a rampage.

so maybe, he had this little short temper, then he showed to have a sadistic humour and also kind of just.

Giving the vibe of not wanting to be there, as he was literally forced to.

But we see him growing, growing into something more calm, more relaxed and especially better at controlling his anger.

Now, i have a few ideas of what wukong and macaque friendship was like, and i can explain it another time, but considering wukong.."horrible personality" in the past, it probably influenced macaque and swk didn't notice.

But anyway, we see during the present wukong hardly or even never gets mad, or seriously pissed.

Of course he can get frustrated, annoyed and serious, but never ever mad. Or even snapping and going on a rampage unlike he did a lot of time in the past!

he seems more relaxed chill. Maybe even lazy, but he's still strong.

But unlike the past, he holds back.

He has no intention on actually hurting someone, even kill them.

until the LBD he never actually went into a fight! (not counting the spider queen.)

We see how he has grown into a more chill dad vibe, which it's a progress.

especially from how he started,

But we need to see why and how he changed,

He surely changed during jttw, it was his redemption journey after all.

but how?

The golden fillet.

i also strongly believe that his tendencies of doing things alone, not talking, hell his communication issues as a whole! Are from the golden fillet.

After all, he always got ignored, accused and punished unfairly.

He was always the one who got the worst punishment, he was the one who was always ignored and talked bad about,

So wukong has no choice but to change.

and he did! But he had his flaws.

He bottles up, he dosen't speak, he knows it's better if he does things alone and he knows he has to be CALM.

he's a Buddhist. He can't afford to show his real emotions.

But don't get me wrong, Buddhism has nothing to do with this! It's just how wukong think it works.

he has to bottle up anger, pain, sadness.

He has to be the perfect hero, he has to be calm and he has to stay silent because, what's the point? No one's listening to him anyway!

let's say.. Tripitaka teaching didn't work as good as he thought.

let's just say.

Trauma kicked in.

Keep in mind that wukong, or anyone of the crew in jttw aren't evil, please keep that in mind.

But this is all my interpretation! It's how I see it!

And I'm not putting or antagonizing anyone here.

[non-bee-knees]

SOOOOOO

I finished Rise! (And the movie)

Holy heavens what a show omg I can't believe I didn't find it sooner, I feel bad for past me who doesn't have it yet because WOW

I have never gotten attached to a character as fast as I have with Donnie; by the end of the first episode I had decided that if anything happened to him, I'd throw hands. 

All four of them (and April) are so fantastically written it's amazing I can't even muster the words to explain it.

Coming away from it, I have but One Question:

ARE RAPH AND DONNIE OKAY?!?"!?! Seriously, like????? We see both of them, at two seperate points in the show EACH (with some more Raph in the Movie) struggle with self worth. 

In Raph, his worth and doubts are because he feels he can't protect his family well enough, and it's crushing him, to the point where it manifests as Panic and Anger (which as someone who stuggles with keeping cool when angry, it's scary, how easily it could be to snap and hurt someone). I think that Raph's issues with worth are part of the reason Leo is now the leader; to try take some of the weight off Raph's shoulders (TOO BAD IT DIDN'T FUCKING WORK - que the entire movie)

In Donnie, his worth and doubt boil down to thinking he's replaceable. Personally, I think this comes mostly down to his Autism, and more so his brother's (and Dad) not entirely getting it. Sure we see that they understand to a point; they know he's weird with touch, and they never seem annoyed at his stimming, and it's only really Leo who get's annoyed at his Info-Dumping (aside from that one really funny clip from the fish episode - you know the one). Other than that though, I don't think they quiet get it, which is fair enough (I might make another post going more into this because it means a lot to me). ANYWAYS they're constantly joking in ways that always leans on Donnie being the odd one out, and whether they know it or not, it's hurting him. And it's built to worrying about whether he's useful or not. And yes, we get that fantastic April scene in 'Donnie V.s Witch Town' but one pep talk isn't gonna fix everything ( as someone who also struggles with worrying if I'm worth it, same. I'm constantly doubting myself, even despite the self-confidence I've built up recently)

This is long and I've semi forgot where I was going with it

BUT if we get a season 3 (praying, dear god, that we do) I want a Raph and Donnie episode. I don't think we got one that was just the two of them, we saw a lot more Donnie and Mikey adventures than the others (love their duo, so I'm not complaining). I want an episode, after the fact of everything that's happened, Movie and all, where we see Raph struggling more than ever to let go a bit more, especially after being used like that in the Movie - man's is probably terrified of himself. And I want to see Donnie struggling with grasping everything that happened (coming back to me here, woo, when big thing's happen, it's usually in the moment, or not til a long time later that they kinda settle into place; when my grandad died, I wasn't upset at the time, even though I understood why everyone else was. It wasn't until a year or so later that I sort of grieved). I sort of want to see Donnie do the same. It's sorta reenforced time and time again that Donnie is writen as low empathy, so let's see it. Let's see him unsure what to do when everything clicks into place and he doesn't know what to do, because 'Donnie doesn't feel things, why is he feeling things?!' 

I want to see the two oldest lean on each other as Leo and Mikey become more and more themselves, Leo with growing leadership skills, Mikey with his magic, and Donnie and Raph are able to sit back for a minute (but to them it feels like they're being put aside) and they learn to deal with it together. It wouldn't have to be a long episode, but I think it would be nice none the less.

Jesus this was long. SOzzles 😅

[lavendersugarplum]

☂︎ZEROᵗʰᵉ ʳᵉᵈ ᵘᵐᵇʳᵉˡˡᵃ

(Umbrella Academy x Sibling!Adolescent!Reader)

❝00.00❞

☂︎ᴢᴇʀᴏ: ᴛʜᴇ sᴛʀᴀɴɢᴇ ʟɪᴛᴛʟᴇ ɢɪʀʟ

─━━━━━━⊱☂︎⊰━━━━━━─

ZERO GRACE HARGREEVES fixes her gaze out the window of Umbrella Academy staring out looking at the dried-out leaves moving across the ground and the grass swaying with the wind. You see, Zero had never been out of the house before. Reginald always told her it was bad for her to go outside. That it was a horrendous place. Even though the Elder man has passed, the rule just seemed to stick with her.

She found herself always confined in her room, Reginald had told her not to come out of. Though Sir Reginald was deceased, she still stayed in her room for most of her time, just without locked doors.

~☂︎~

ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, FIVE, AND SIX were heading out for another mission. Zero watched as they left, unconsciously starting to follow after them, wondering where they're going. Zero inched closer and closer to the door, as her ruby red flats went across the cardboard floor. As soon as she felt the coolness of the outside, a force pushed her back. She came to see the hostile eyes of her father.

Zero pointed outside the door where her siblings left, curious eyes facing her father. Reginald just shook his head in disappointment and kneeled to her height grabbing both of her shoulders; eye contact stern.

"Listen to me Number Zero. You must never go outside. The outside is a bad place not meant for you. Do you understand?"

Zero nodded in comprehension, but she was puzzled. Why couldn't she go with the others? Seconds later, Grace came over reaching for Zero's hands. Zero got scared and quickly snatched her hands away. Though resented, Grace kept her usual smile on her face.

"Come now, I'll make supper for you and Number Seven. Okay, dear?" Zero took one last look at Sir Reginald who still had his eyes still fixated on her with a severe gaze before walking away.

~☂︎~

HOURS HAD PAST. By this time all eight of the children were asleep. Reginald was occupied in his office fixing his monocle, before checking his watch. "Pogo! Grace! Come here at once."

Pogo, an advanced chimpanzee and Sir Reginald Hargreeves' assistant and friend at The Umbrella Academy, and Grace, the primary caregiver and adoptive mother of the eight children, materialized into his office . "Yes, Master Hargreeves?" Pogo said bowing. Reginald turned to the two of them as soon as they appeared.

"When I have no time left, I want you to watch over Number Zero. Make sure she stays quarantined in this house. You two will be her two companions. Make her feel as though you two are the only ones she can depend on. Now, do I make myself clear?" Reginald narrowed his eyes at the two.

"Is this really necessary? After all, she's just a chi—" Grace protested, but was silenced.

"Do I make myself clear?" Reginald repositioned, but in a more cold, hostile tone. Pogo looked up to Grace with a knowing look, as she held a hesitant expression.

"Yes, sir." The two said at the same time.

~☂︎~

ZERO SAUNTERS DOWN THE HALLWAY of the living room looking at the portraits. Paintings would fill every inch of the academy. All kinds of portraits would be sprawled out across the walls. The girl ceased at a portrait where it shows her brother Five Hargreeves, recalling the very moment of him going missing.

She remembered when she would always looked out her window on the porch, seeing if he would come back, but he never did.

~☂︎~

IN THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY RESIDENCE, the morning started just like any other with the Hargreeves'.  The sound of a ring of a bell echoed through the Academy as the uniformed  Hargreeves' children walked in a single file to the breakfast table. Once they got there, they waited patiently for their father to arrive, standing behind their chairs, quietly doing so.

After a few minutes Reginald came in alongside Zero who had her hands tucked tightly behind her back. Once they destinated to the table, the two departed wit Zero taking her seat beside Number Six, and Reginald positioning himself behind his own chair.

"Sit."

At the sound of the command, the children quickly reacted by pulling up their chairs and taking their seats. The children individually proceed to do their own things, with Herr Carlson playing in background. With Number Two scratching his knife into the arm rest of the chair, trying not to be caught by his strict father or snitch brother Number One who was eye flirting and exchanging smiles with Number Three, reciprocating. Number Four fiddled with some paper under the table, alongside Number Six who leaned over showing Zero a page in a book he liked by Anton Chekov, knowing Zero liked to read as well. Number Seven was at the right end of the table, quietly eating her meal.

But there was one certain Hargreeves that had trouble sealing his anger and irritation; And that Hargreeves was the prideful and mastermind Number Five. You see, Five had a burning desire to be able to test his ability to time travel and it ate him up inside that his father wouldn't allow him with a loathing passion. Instead of eating he stared down his father from the opposite end of the table, in vaxation; anger and frustration building up inside him. When his anger finally boiled over he grabbed his knife and jabbed it into the table. The loud sound caused everyone to turn his attention to him, with Zero’s frightened shoulders hoping.

"Number Five?" Reginald questions.

"I have a question."

"Knowledge is an admirable goal, but you know the rules. No talking during meal times. You are interrupting Herr Carlson." Reginald replies.

Unsatisfied with his father's educated response Five forcefully pushes his plate forward and stands up.

"I want to time travel." Five said.

"No."

"But I'm ready. I've been practicing my spatial jumps, just like you said." Five got up from his seat and demonstrated him doing a spatial jump, appearing next to Reginald. Five's power was Spatial Jumping, which gives him the ability to teleport both short and long distances.

"A spatial jump is trivial when compared with the unknowns of time travel. One is like sliding along the ice, the other is akin to descending blindly into the depths of the freezing water and reappearing as an acorn."

Five's hands balled up in his pockets.

"I don't get it."

"Hence the reason you're not ready."

Zero peers around the table at everyone's gaping facial expressions. But her eyes specifically trained on Number Seven, who gave a shake of the head no to Five, trying to get him to sit back down and stop pushing the issue.

"I'm not afraid."

"Fear isn't the issue. The effects it might have on your body, even on your mind, are far too unpredictable. Now, I forbid you to talk about this anymore." Reginald demanded, but Five still set up above everyone challenged at his father's utterance. The last thing Zero remembered was him running off outside, never to be seen again.

"Number Five. You haven't been excused! Come back here!"

Zero knew what he was going to do as she got up from her seat.

"Number Zero. Sit. Back. Down."

Zero didn't listen as she kept looking towards the door. Number Six tugged on her uniform sleeve a little, trying to get her attention. Number Six, observed her expression. It looked like she was trying to focus on something.

"Number Zero. Sit down. NOW!" Reginald yelled, making Zero snap out of her trance. She sat back down, hoping Five didn't do anything rash.

Number Six put his hand on Zero's shoulder, trying to make her feel better.

Therefore Number Five was never seen again, leaving his father, Grace, and his siblings behind, not aware of the consequences he would have to face.

~☂︎~

ZERO LOOKED AT the portrait a little longer, before turning away. She then trailed to the various family portraits that were displayed. Well, Zero wouldn't exactly call it a family portrait. Not everyone was entirely included. She and Vanya were not allowed to be in family portraits.

To Zero, these portraits weren't just any kind of portraits with her family just posing. To her it captured the emotions of her siblings trying to hold it together year after year as they evolved.

Zero would always look to the side at Vanya, seeing her with a downcast look on her face whenever she was not included. She remembered that she would always look away to the side, whenever she felt like she disappointed Reginald. Zero would just have a blank facial expression, being the most disciplined, that she became like a mindless zombie, always obeying when she was told to do something. She would only simply nod when spoken to. That's what caused her to get more mute over the years. So you can't expect a whole conversation with her, just a few conversations, never really speaking to anyone besides, her dear brother.

Number Six

~☂︎~

EVERYONE EXCEPT ZERO was gathered in Luther's room.

"S-she's kinda weird, right? I mean think about it." Number Two said.

"I don't think she's weird." Number Seven said quietly that no one heard.

"Yeah and she's always going off with Dad somewhere. It's like she's getting more and more mindless every day." Number Four said.

"You don't understand." Five suddenly said. This made everyone look to Five.

"You can't call her weird because you don't understand her. We don't know what she's going through. Don't judge something you don't understand." When Five finished everyone got quiet, taking into consideration what Five just said.

Number Three looked around to see Number Six gone.

"Hey, where's Six?"

~☂︎~

NUMBER SIX WENT OUT OF LUTHER'S ROOM to see Zero’s door wide open. He walked quietly to the door with a book in hand. Six peeped around the corner of the door to see Zero reading a book. He was kinda overjoyed to see that Zero had the same interest as him.

Six slowly started to walk in. When he took another step, the floor creaked, making Zero go stiff and turn around slowly. She looked to see Six, standing just outside her door. Zero was slightly surprised to see one of her siblings at her door. Usually, everyone would just ignore her as if she wasn't there. As if she was nothing. As if she mattered 0%. At least that's what Reginald told them to do.

"U-uh hi."

Zero just stared at him in surprise.

"Um, I got this book for you. I've noticed how much you like to read, s-so I thought it would be nice. It's really good. I promise." He handed the book over to her. Zero hesitantly looked at him and then the book She hesitantly took it and looked at the cover. Zero always liked hardcover books.

"Well enjoy the book, okay? Bye." Six started to exit the room, but before he could the unbelievable happened.

"T-t-thanks." Zero managed utter out quietly enough for Six to hear.

Number Six's eyes widened, then his expression slowly turned into a smile before walking away.

Zero looked to see if he was gone before opening the book.

~☂︎~

ZERO GAVE A SMALL SMILE at the memory, but not before remembering that he doesn't exist now. He passed years after Five’s disappearance. She didn't even get to attend the funeral. She could only watch from her secured shut window. The two were best friends ever since that day. Zero always thought Six was a little weird at first, but she started warming up to him day by day. He was truly a real brother to her.

~☂︎~

EVERYONE WAS IN the dining room eating dinner except Zero who just staring down at her plate. Everyone kept giving occasional glances at her, with concerned glances. Zero glanced at the empty seat next to her. The seat that would never be filled again.

"Number Zero, stop staring at your food and eat, this instant.

"I.......I..

All of a sudden the building started to shaking uncontrollably. Causing everyone to be frightened.

"Number Zero, control yourself!" Reginald demands. But Zero just keeps staring at her plate.

"Number Zero."

"Number Zero!"

Suddenly the shaking came to a stop. Everyone was staring at Zero wide-eyed. None of them knew what her powers were. It has always been a mystery. Not even Reginald Hargreeves himself knew, which is why he had to keep her contained.

" .......I'm....sorry..."

"Perhaps it's best if you go back to your room, where you belong." Reginald said with disappointment written on his face.

Zero simply nodded and headed back to her room that felt like a prison she could never escape.

Seven and Four watched sympathetically as Zero walked to her room.

She heard the sound of her door locking, signaling that she couldn't go back out.

~☂︎~

ZERO WAS IN HER ROOM looking in the mirror at her 13-year-old body. Why is she still young? Zero ages very slowly. Reginald gave his blood to slow down Zero's aging process. Even though she is technically 29, because of her slow age process she's still just a kid. Zero rubbed the eye bags under her eyes on her pale (s/c) skin from lack of sunlight. As she did this, she thought about how her life is now.

One had to leave for his mission on the moon. And Zero knew it wasn't for any important reason.

She doesn't know what the rest of her siblings, besides Seven are doing. Which is kind of sad if you think about it. Zero was so trapped in her own house all her life that she didn't realize how isolated she is from everything.

From everyone, shielded from the world.

Seven became a writer and a violinist. Zero would always read her book about what it was like for her in Umbrella Academy. She couldn't grasp why Vanya was right such a thing like this in the first place. Giving up the family secrets just like that. She still remembered when she was getting ready to leave.

~☂︎~

Zero looked to see her sister heading out the door.

"You have to go?" Zero said making Seven turn around.

"Yes, I have to go. I have no place here anymore. I'll try to come to visit okay." Seven said going over to hug her, but Zero quickly backed away shaking her head. Seven looked at her sympathetically. She knew Zero wasn't used to touch.

"You'll be okay, right?"

There was a long pause before Zero nodded.

Seven smiled and headed to the door. The truth was that she didn't want to leave Zero at that hellish place, but Zero was still in Reginald's custody.

"Bye, Zero," Seven said before she left, leaving Zero alone, waving goodbye at nothing. Her hand slowly came down as Reginald lead her back to her room.

~☂︎~

ZERO BRUSHED HER HAIR, fixing her tied up, red headband, getting ready for the funeral. What she didn't know was that her family was coming.

And that this day was going to change her life.

.

[not-so-mundane-after-all]

Alright, so- Inspired by my awesome friend @undertheknightwing who created this AMAZING list of Dad!Dick Grayson headcanons (go check it out!!!) I decided to write down the mess I have in my own head into this giant ball of fluff, humor and angst.

So let me present you:

The Graysonfam List of Headcanons and Analysis

It's a looong ass list of my headcanons, mixed with an analysis of some scenes, looking into the motives and behavior of the characters. It's in more or less chronological order and divides into groups: season 1 (+2x01), the time jump, season 2, season 3 hopes/predictions and future. If you want me to turn any of these into fics or you feel like you could do something with it, just let me know. And now... ENJOY!

SEASON 1:

The first time Dick thinks of Gar and Rachel as his kids happens during the events of 1x08 and 1x10. It's pure instinct and it doesn't come to him until much later when he realizes that not only he thought of them this way but he actually meant it.

When he and Donna start translating Kory's notes and it becomes clear that Rachel might still be in trouble, he's immediately on his feet, asking Donna for the keys to her car and ordering her to take the books with her, so they could continue on the way. He's acting fast, ignoring Donna's questions because there's no time for explanation, my daughter is in danger. He almost says it out loud - almost. 

When Donna tells him the danger clearly comes from Kory, he wants to deny it. Kory adores these kids just as much as he does, she would never hurt them. But he puts his feet on the gas anyway, breaking every speed limit possible, because if one hair falls from Gar's and Rachel's heads, he will burn the world to find the person responsible, even if it's Kory (especially if it's Kory)

When they get there the first thing he sees is Gar being thrown in the air, and his mind short circuits to only one thing: Gar, my boy, my son. Is he okay? Thankfully Donna takes care of the rest so he's free to take care of the boy. He pulls him up, holding him tight by the shoulders and makes sure he's okay, but the words 'my son' are still circling his mind.

Speaking of Donna - when Dick starts telling her about Rachel the first time, she wants to cry from happiness. Over these past five years all she saw in Dick's eyes was pain and suffering. A storm of bottled up emotions, raging monsters of anger ready to get out. His body looked weighed down, as if he was Atlas holding the world on his shoulders. And now he's talking about this little girl who threw a brick at a cop car in Detroit and his eyes start to shine as if they were stars in the night sky. His smile grows when he brags about how smart and witty she is, how she's more intelligent than she gives herself credit for, how similar the two of them are. He talks about her bravery and her big heart and he sounds so damn proud Donna's heart is about to burst out of her chest. "I thought I couldn't do it." he tells her. "I fucked up so many times. But she had awakened something in me. I just can't describe it." She can but she doesn't say it - he needs to get to it on his own. (Over a year later, when the girl who turned her brother's world upside down tries to guide her back to the light through the darkness of afterlife, Donna finally says "I always knew he'd be a great father someday. You have no idea how much he loves you." "He told you that?" Rachel asks quietly, trying to hold back her tears. Donna looks at her and smiles. "He didn't have to. I saw it in his eyes.")

Then Dick gets to the part about finding Rachel's mother and suddenly something changes. He's trying to seem like he's happy for her, he says he's glad everything ended well and now Rachel can start a new life but Donna sees right through his facade. He thinks he can't be a part of this new life and it's killing him.

Which brings me to something very important I've noticed a long time ago - Angela's presence makes Dick hold himself back. That's why he decided to leave - Rachel had her mother back, a guardian who could take care of her from now on so he wasn't needed anymore. His job was done. But at this point he's already too attached to just leave like that and when he learns that danger isn't over he comes back immediately. But when he gets there he's met with a wall. Angela is very territorial (we all know why but Dick didn't know that) and Rachel is too overwhelmed by everything but let's be real - if Angela wasn't there Dick would be hovering over Rachel like crazy. But he doesn't. Why? Because he thinks it's not his place to do so. It's easier to go after Kory than to just be standing there awkwardly, wanting to help and comfort but not being able to.

He remembers everything Trigon put him through - every fucking detail. There is some stuff from the vision he wants to laugh at - Him and Dawn? Married? Maybe once upon a time he entertained that thought but he abandoned it long ago. There are things he's actually grateful for - seeing Gar and Rachel as they could be in the future, grown up, in college, happy. That's the one thing he doesn't want to forget. And Johnny - he doesn't want to forget Johnny either. 

His mind was sort of awake, in two places at once, even though he didn't have any control over his body. He remembers chasing the kids around the house, Gar screaming "Real life horror movie!" as he and Rachel tried to run away from him. He remembers Rachel pleading with him when the others were beating the poor boy. He wanted to respond, wanted to let her know he can hear her but he couldn't do anything. He watched helplessly as his own hand pulled Gar up and finished what others started. He screamed and shouted but it was in vain. And then he cried and howled like a wolf watching as Trigon ripped Rachel's heart from her chest and crushed it in his hand, then placed the red gemstone in her forehead. He remembers her dark eyes and evil smirk. He remembers thinking it was over, feeling heartbroken and defeated. He gave up, let the darkness swallow him whole. He didn't want to see more, it was easier locking himself up in this vision because he knew Bruce laying dead in rubble wasn't real. And then she came to him. Back straight and head held high, piercing blue eyes locked on him. He remembers his tone when he spoke to her, taunting and dangerous but it didn't scare her. "We're supposed to save each other" she told him and he wanted to cry but Trigon had him wrap his fingers around her throat and choke her - another thing he would never do. He would never lay a damn finger on her and Trigon was well aware of that. But Rachel knew that too. And she wasn't scared. 

He remembers the circus she brought him into. Empty stage, broken chairs scattered everywhere. He never wanted to come back here. And even though his body stood there motionless he was trashing inside, wanting to get out of here but more importantly wanting to get her out of here. Seeing Rachel on that platform, ready to jump, it was too much. He couldn't lose her, like he lost his parents. He didn't catch them but he sure as hell was going to catch her. So when she fell - he snapped. Got the control back, his muscles acted on memory and he jumped. He flew like he used to and wrapped his fingers around her wrists, holding her tight. He caught her. He would always catch her.

When they wake up all he wants to do is hold her. Relief almost sends him to his knees. But then Gar walks in, all bloody and bruised and all that relief turns into freezing agony and guilt. I did this, he thinks. It's my fault. But there is no time for apologies or explanation, Trigon is still there. Letting Rachel go deal with him on her own is hard but Dick knows she could do it - and she did. Seeing her walking out of that fog is one of the most beautiful views he saw in his life. And when he finally takes her into his arms he doesn't let go until Kory basically rips her out of his embrace.

He wants Kory to go with them. Kids need her. His idea of giving Gar and Rachel a new life included her. Included both of them, taking care of the kids together. Things between them are tangled and complicated but one thing that is neither of those things is their attachment to these two. But Kory just got her memories back, she has her own issues to deal with, she needs time and space - and he respects that, so do Gar and Rachel. But Dick would be lying if he said he didn't notice their disappointment.

The first day of their roadtrip across the country is quiet - mostly because they are all so goddamn tired. Dick pulls up to a motel before dark, deciding that the more sleep they get the better. They pick two rooms next to each other, Jason and Gar in one, he and Rachel in the other. Rachel immediately vanishes in the bathroom, so Dick has time to sit down and think (as if he wasn't doing it the entire day while driving). An idea is shaping in his head, memories of a beloved city in sunny California come to the surface of his mind and he knows this is where he wants to take the kids. But he has to make a stop at Gotham first, he needs to talk to Bruce and most importantly return Jason home. Rachel walks out of the bathroom in fresh clothes Donna left for her and crawls into bed without a word. He takes his time to tuck her in, then sits down on the edge of her bed. She's beyond exhausted, but she's safe, she's with him, everything will be alright. He will never let anyone take her away from him again. And when he's watching her fall asleep, holding her hand in his, three words come to his mind, words he's not ready to say aloud yet but he knows them to be true. I love you.

THE TIME JUMP:

Physical affection is something I think the show is pretty good at showing but I still crave to see more. It's clear that Dick struggles to be affectionate, whether that be through words or touch. And he doesn't even realize he's actually very good at it. Why? Because whenever he does it, he's acting on instinct. The biggest proof? All his hugs with Rachel in s1. Boy had no idea what to do, it was written on his face, but his arms went up nonetheless. He didn't freeze, he didn't push her away, but reacted accordingly. The hugs in 1x02 and 1x04 are the only ones he initiated on his own, but he still wasn't sure if he's doing it right. As the show went on he slowly eased into it, but was still taken by surprise when it happened (1x08, the first hug in 2x01). By the end of 2x01 he seems to be pretty comfortable with it but I think it's during the time jump when he really starts to understand the importance and power of physical affection and how these kids really need it. The pat he gave Gar on the shoulder in 2x03 or their hug in 2x09 felt really natural, same as the goodbye hug with Rachel in 2x13. All three of them got comfortable with each other during those first three months in SF. Which leads me to…

Cuddle sessions. Yes, this is definitely a thing at Titans Tower (*cough*Grayson*cough*household*cough). It starts that first night when Dick, Rachel, Gar and Jason gather on the couch to watch a movie. Rachel lays down and rests her head on Dick's thigh while Gar settles comfortably on his other side. Dick has no idea when it happened but he freezes for a moment when he realizes his hand is on Rachel's head, fingers carding through her hair. The girl seems to be asleep already but stirs when he stops and asks him to continue, so he does. Soon after that Gar's head lands on his shoulder as the boy starts nodding off. The sudden contact wakes him up and he pulls away awkwardly, apologizing but Dick tells him it's okay so Gar leans back against him. The feeling of having the two of them so close brings a sense of calm to Dick and soon he falls asleep as well. He wakes up in the morning with the two teenagers basically laying on top of him and Jason standing over them with a smirk and a phone in his hand.

After that it sort of becomes a thing and not just during movies. Whenever Dick sits down on the couch, whether to work or to simply relax, Gar or Rachel (or both) would find him and snuggle to him, at first hesitantly, but with more confidence as the time passes and they get comfortable with it. After three months of living together all Dick has to do is pat the spot next to him for them to jump on the couch and cuddle up, tho Rachel is the one who does it most often and with no hesitation.

Dick very quickly starts understanding how important it is for them so he starts returning the favor. A good job pat on the shoulder during training, a kiss dropped on the top of the head during breakfast, a comforting shoulder rub when they aren't feeling well, emotionally or physically. Gar loves when Dick ruffles his hair, he even leans into it sometimes, while Rachel's favorite things are forehead kisses and tucking her hair behind her ear (but neither of them would ever say that out loud)

Words are as important as gestures, which brings us to affectionate pet names. It feels normal and almost ordinary when it comes from a woman - Rachel has been called 'honey' by Melisa and 'sweetheart' by Dawn but she wasn't phased by it. But when Dick calls her 'honey' for the first time, she nearly drops her coffee mug. It comes out so naturally and he doesn't even realize he said it, but it takes her breath away and she needs a moment to collect herself. With Gar it's usually 'Bud', 'Buddy', or 'Tiger Boy' spoken affectionately and he's always beaming with happiness when he hears Dick saying that.

One night, shortly after Trigon, Rachel slips into his bedroom in the middle of the night, saying she can't sleep. The memories are too vivid, too real. Her lips are trembling and she looks like she's about to fall apart and that's all it takes for Dick to sit up, open his arms for her and with full awareness and conviction say "come here, baby girl". She falls asleep snuggled to his bare chest and Dick feels his throat getting dangerously tight. He'd seen many times, mostly on TV, images of parents holding their babies to their bare skin - something about creating a bond through skin-to-skin contact. He was never able to wrap his head around this concept, but now, as he feels Rachel's cheek pressed to his heart, her hand closed in his resting on his stomach, the understanding hits him like a speeding train, pushing a tear or two out of his eyes. It's something indescribable, feels profound and almost sacred. The love he feels in this moment is overwhelming.

Gar has nightmares too, he usually wakes up screaming. It scares Dick at first, how he reacts, because the boy pulls away, wide eyed and shaking, and doesn't want to be touched. Guilt overwhelms Dick because he's sure it's because of him, because of what he did to Gar while being under Trigon's control. He tries to apologize and Gar accepts it but explains to him that his nightmares are not Dick's fault and they are not even about that (Dick can feel the boy is lying for both of their sakes but lets him anyway). It takes a few tries and lots of pleading and building trust but one night Gar finally falls into Dick's arms, sobbing into his shoulder. He pulls the boy close, runs his fingers through his hair just like Gar likes it and whispers "it's okay, my little boy." over and over again until Gar's body goes limp in his hold and he can put him back to sleep. Neither of them mentions it in the morning, but Gar gives him a look full of gratitude, filling his heart with warmth.

One evening during their first week in SF they organise a 'bonding night' - Gar's idea. There's take out and board games and staying up all night, talking. At some point one of them suggests sharing any hidden talents (besides superpowers of course) and details no one knows about them. Jason admits to being a theatre nerd ("it's thespian you idiots!") and proves it by flawlessly rapping verses from Hamilton. Gar thanks to travelling with his parents can fluently speak few African languages, he also shares that during his time at the Doom Manor Rita taught him the basics of playing piano. When it's Dick's turn he gets up from the couch and vanishes for a few minutes, but eventually comes back with a guitar, saying he had learned to play during his circus days, but hadn't done it in a while so he might be a little rusty. He plays a few cords, trying to spark his memory and when the notes finally come to him, a beautiful melody fills the room (I always imagine it's Viva la Vida by Coldplay). And suddenly this melody is joined by an angelic voice - Rachel closes her eyes and starts singing quietly, recognizing the song. She only opens her eyes when she's finished and finds the three of them looking at her in absolute awe, Dick's eyes seem to be a bit watery. She gets a bit embarrassed and says it's nothing but they start cheering and clapping anyway. Gar asks her where did she learn to sing like that and she admits she used to sing in a church choir when she was little, but had to quit after her powers started showing. The night ends with a little jam session and lots of laughing.

Gar and Rachel grew up on golden era of Disney Channel shows (Jason knows them too but he'd rather be tortured than ever admit that) and once the news is out Dick is forced to sit through the entire run of Wizards of Waverly Place. But watching Rachel flawlessly impersonate the main character Alex, knowing every line word for word makes him grin like a madman and laugh so hard his stomach hurts and tears roll down his cheeks. He pulls her to him and she falls on him in a fit of uncontrollable giggles while Gar and Jason give her a standing ovation.

SEASON 2:

While hanging out together is important, Dick also makes sure he gets to spend some time with each of them separately. With Jason it's mostly through training - the boy isn't very keen on spending one-on-one quality time outside of the gym, but prides himself to be Dick's right hand man during lessons, having more experience over the other two. With Gar it's video games most of the time - Dick learned to play specifically for him and actually started paying attention to gaming lore. But it's not just that - Gar has a talent to anything tied to technology so they spend a lot of time together in the tech room where the boy learns to operate the Tower system. It brings both of them a lot of joy. Rachel, as the only girl in their little family, often needs some time away from the boys, so Dick takes her on walks in the mornings or a drive around the city, shows her his favorite coffee shop which soon becomes their favorite spot. They talk about everything and nothing, because conversations were the thing that brought them so close in the first place, and it just feels good. 

Rachel also loves spending time with him in the tech room - but not like Gar, she's not learning to run it (although she picked up a thing or two) but she's simply there to keep Dick company while he works (can he even call that work if he hasn't been officially working as a detective for quite a while now? Not to mention his resignation has been sent to Detroit the day they arrived in SF). She brings him coffee or snacks, stands behind his chair with her arms around his neck, observing whatever he's doing (and asking lots of questions) or simply sits in the other swiveling chair, drawing in her sketchbook or turning around so many times Dick starts to worry she's gonna get dizzy. He asks her one time if she's not bored sitting here with him but she just shrugs and says she'd rather be here than anywhere else and his heart grows tenfold as he smiles at her

So remember how Rachel lost control and attacked Jason in 2x03? And how Jason shouted "Stay away from me you fucking freak!" right in her face? And how Dick walks in like 3 seconds later asking if everything's okay and the tension is HIGH??? Well, he might have not seen what happened, but he definitely HEARD the full thing, he was within the hearing range. The fact that he didn't attack Jason immediately is really impressive, if this was s1!Dick - Jason would be on the floor right now, probably with a swollen eye and few broken bones. But here Dick is trying to play it smart and investigate. If it wasn't for dr Light he would probably get to the bottom of this and had a conversation with both Jason and Rachel. I'm thinking of writing a one-shot AU where he actually does it (mostly thanks to Gar who is a terrible liar when caught of guard)

When the last cab drives away and the Tower becomes empty, save for him, Gar and that boy in the infirmary, Dick does not leave to meet with Adeline immediately - he goes to Rachel's room and starts scrubbing it clean from all the crosses painted all over the place. His eyes are burning, the bile in his throat is the size of a tennis ball but he doesn't allow himself to cry. At some point Gar joins him and wordlessly starts helping him. It takes them a little over an hour and when it's done they both drop down on her bed, sitting shoulder to shoulder. "She'll be back." Gar tells him. "I'm not so sure." Dick replies, not looking at the boy. Gar puts a hand on his shoulder. "She will. You just wanted to protect us. Deep down she knows that, she's just angry." Dick knows Gar's reasoning is valid, but looking at his own reflection in the broken mirror he can't help but think that in the long run Rachel will be better off without him. They will all be better off without him.

It's not until his first night in prison that Dick starts to regret his decision to cast himself away. He wakes up in the middle of the night with tears in his eyes, his mind still reeling from dreams of Gar and Rachel seven years in the future. They were adults, happy and independent - that's good, right? That's what he always wanted for them. But his tears start to fall when it comes to him, hitting him like a wrecking ball, that spending 7 years behind bars means he won't be able to see them grow up. Something like a panic attack comes next and he is barely able to pull himself out of it. He's suddenly overwhelmed by questions. My kids… will they be okay? Is Kory back at the Tower or is Gar still alone? What is he gonna do when that strange boy wakes up? Was there any food in the fridge when I left? I left Gar some money, but still… God, and Rachel! She has never been on a plane before, what if she gets scared and her powers start acting out? What if she gets night terrors again? Will Donna know what to do? His head is spinning, these thoughts are suffocating him. Only a breathing exercise Bruce had taught him years ago is able to help, but it takes longer than usual. Dick doesn't sleep for the rest of the night.

He's not sure how but when Dick sees a bird in a window of his cell, he knows it's no ordinary bird. It's a raven. It's her. He gets up on his feet despite his knees being weak and wobbly and he smiles, grins like an idiot as he calls out to her. Because it has to be her, right? But all hope leaves him when the creature flies up again with a croak and disappears from his sight, leaving him alone. Dick drops to his knees, feeling more exhausted than ever and curls on the floor, his body shaking from shivers. No one is coming. He brought it on himself. He is forgotten already. But then he hears quiet tapping and something nudges his hand. He opens one eye only to look right into a ruby red one. The bird is here, inside, right in front of his face. It flaps its wings and its feathers turns into dark smoke for a moment. "Rachel…" He breathes out, holding to his last shreds of consciousness. The raven lowers its head, snuggling it to his forehead and before Dick passes out again he hears three words said by this quiet, angelic voice he loves so much: Don't give up.

When they bring Donna back to the Tower and lay her down in the infirmary Dick feels empty and overflowed at the same time. He goes to strip off his new suit and change into something more comfortable but it's a struggle when his hands are shaking so much. He goes back to infirmary and passes by Dawn in the doorway, who walks out of the room with Donna's Wonder Girl belt in hand, not even lifting her eyes up at him. He closes the door and sits down, taking Donna's hand in his but he is able to sit there for only ten minutes before the feeling of her hand growing cold in his makes him want to run away. He makes his way back to his room but takes a step back when he notices two colorful heads in the training room. Gar and Rachel are sitting on one of the benches with their backs to him, talking quietly. Gar is hunched over and Rachel has her arm around him and her head on his shoulder. The sight makes Dick's throat tight. He walks up to them quietly and they only notice him when he's standing in front of them. They simultaneously lift their heads up, showing him their red, swollen from crying eyes and his heart can't take it anymore. He falls to his knees in front of them. "I'm here." he whispers as he takes their hands in his. "I'm right here." he whispers again and his voice breaks. Suddenly two sets of arms are wrapped around him when both Gar and Rachel throw themselves at him, sobbing into his shoulders. He holds them tight, kisses their heads and lets his own tears fall into their hair as he keeps promising them he is not leaving them ever again. 

SEASON 3 HOPES/PREDICTIONS:

First few weeks without Donna and Rachel are absolute torture. Grief is normal, he's been through it before, it's nothing new (maybe more painful and guilt-ridden than he ever experienced). But not having Rachel around and how it impacts him on day-to-day basis after spending every day with her for the past few months is something totally new and unexpected and Dick is pretty sure he's never felt like this before. He's overprotective to the point of being overbearing and Gar points that out to him numerous times. He keeps making her breakfast, forgetting she's not gonna show up in the kitchen when the clock strikes 9 am. He keeps looking into her room like he's expecting to find her there. He constantly checks his phone as if she were able to call from Themyscira, where there's no signal, let alone phones. "Is it what sending your kid out to college feels like?" Hank asks him one evening and Dick almost chokes on his beer. Gar laughs so hard he falls off his chair. 

Rachel does everything she can to not cry in front of Dick when they say goodbye to each other but the moment the plane is in the air, she breaks. It was one of the hardest decisions she ever had to make and seeing Dick so broken definitely didn't help. But she has to at least try to bring Donna back, she wouldn't be able to forgive herself otherwise. So she gets herself together and keeps telling herself to be brave. For Dick. For Donna. For her family.

Gar becomes the center of family's attention and he can't say he doesn't love it. That spot always belonged to Rachel after all, but he was never jealous, nor he resented her for that. She totally deserved it and she can take the spot back when she returns (but he's never gonna let her get away with not saying goodbye to him). He's the 'A-Student' now during training, Dick is putting some extra work to make sure he learns as much as he can. Kory helps him a lot with the trauma CADMUS gave him and works with him on the development of his powers. He tries turning into other animals and after a month of struggling he finally turns into a mouse. Kory walks with him sitting on his shoulder around the whole Tower like the proudest mama in the galaxy and Dick's beaming with pride for the entire week. 

After Dick's off-hand comment that Rachel is missing on so much Gar starts to record vlogs on his phone about what's happening at the Titans Tower so Rachel can watch it and catch up when she's back. The material he gets is pure gold and even when others beg him to delete it, he refuses saying this is too good to be destroyed. 

The day before Rachel's first attempt at resurrection she uses a freshly learned trick to come to Dick in his dream. They meet on the beach she's currently on, meditating. Seeing him for the first time in three months makes her want to cry but she promised herself to be strong so he wouldn't worry and she holds her tears at bay. She falls into his arms with the brightest smile and burrows her face in his chest. He's holding her tight, asking if everything is okay and she nods, not quite trusting her voice at the moment. "I can't keep you here for long, but I needed to see you." she tells him. She's not sharing any details about her plan, the less he knows the better, but he begs her to be careful and stop if it turns out to be too much for her. Dick pulls her to him one last time before she has to serve the connection and presses his lips to her forehead. "I love you." he whispers and she closes her eyes, hugging him tighter. "Come home soon." "I love you, too. And I will."

To find Donna's soul Rachel needs to go to The Underworld, which is a dark, scary place (well, for the most part). The search is difficult and the journey ahead of her is long. On her way she meets other people, souls who sometimes want to help her, sometimes otherwise. She sees Adamson and all the people who were after her, drowning in a river of fire, calling for help. One hand grabs her by the ankle and Rachel looks down right into the hollow eyes of her birth mother. She struggles to set herself free from Angela's hold but eventually the creepy hand lets go of her and Rachel runs away. Not all the meetings are painful though. She gets to see Melisa again - she tells her about Dick and Gar and Kory and everything that happened. "I found him, mom. I found the boy from the circus." she says and they both start to cry. Melisa tells her how proud she is and lets her continue her journey. But the most surprising meeting happens right before the end. Rachel knows their faces only from her dream and the blurry videos she found online. But the resemblance to Dick is undeniable - he has his mother's eyes, his father's hair. Mary Grayson takes her into her arms with tears in her eyes, saying how happy she is to finally meet her. They chat for a while, laugh and cry together like they've known each other their whole lives. "He's so lucky to have you." John tells her. "Tell him we're proud of him." Mary asks her when she is about to leave. "And come back to him in one piece." Rachel nods, holding back tears. "I will, I promise." 

When Rachel arrives at Wayne Manor it's already dark outside. A black car pulls in the driveway. Dick, Kory and Gar are waiting by the main entrance and when the car stops they approach it and Dick opens the door. Rachel is sleeping in the backseat with her head falling on her shoulder and the view is so beautiful and adorable that Dick stops for a moment to just look at her with a dreamy smile on his face. He lifts his hand to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear and leans in whispering "welcome back, sweetheart". She smiles without opening her eyes and instantly lifts her arms to wrap them around his neck. They both laugh as he pulls her out the car. She steps away from him for a moment to hug Gar and Kory but sticks herself back to his side immediately after. Gar takes her bag and the car drives away while the 4 of them head towards the door.

She failed (or at least she thinks she failed) and that first night back she cries her eyes out into Dick's chest, apologizing over and over again. "It's okay, honey." he tells her, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "Remember what I told you back at the airport? No matter how strong we are, we-" "We can't always change the world." she finishes for him and smiles through her tears. "I know. I've had those words in the back of my head every day." They lay in silence for the next few minutes, Dick's hand slowly stroking Rachel's hair. She hesitates a bit but then starts telling him about meeting his parents. He smiles at her through tears. "I'm so proud of you." he whispers. "You've grown so much. You're so strong. Going away was a good decision, it gave you skills and experience you wouldn't have gotten here. But now I'm just glad I have you back. I was worried sick." Rachel smiles into his chest. "I'm not going anywhere again."

As happy as Dick is to have her back, some part of him wishes Rachel stayed longer on Themyscira. Everything that's happening in Gotham is making him consider sending her and Gar away to some place safe and hidden, The Justice League has a lot of those. But his kids are Titans - they both remind him of that. "You didn't train us to hide." she tells him. "We can handle this." Gar adds. And Dick believes them. And he's so proud his heart can barely take it.

Donna's return comes as a shock to everyone - Hank brings her to the Wayne Manor one day, saying they bumped into each other at some restaurant in the city. "How-" Rachel asks with eyes opened wide in disbelief. Donna smiles at her. "I don't know. I got lost, but… I found my way back somehow." Dick slowly walks up to her, his eyes welling up with tears. "But the spell-" "It worked." Donna explains. "It just needed more time." After that he sweeps her into his arms and extends his hand to Rachel to pull her in as well. He holds them both as close as he can, kissing their heads and swears to himself to never lose either of them again.

FUTURE:

Thoughts about adoption appear in Dick's mind more or less when he brings Gar and Rachel to San Francisco, but they are more of an abstract dream than something that could be real. But as the time goes on those thoughts become more and more solidified and are too big to be ignored. He finally decides to talk to someone about it and that someone is Dawn, mostly because they've had this kind of conversation before. "It's a big responsibility - taking her in. But taking care of a kid is complicated, you know that better than anyone." These words stay with him every day, that's why he goes to her. He struggles to say what he wants to say but she understands and hugs him with tears in her eyes saying she knew he'd do it sooner or later and that she couldn't be happier for him. She helps him with paperwork and prepares him for meetings. He breaks the news to the kids the moment everything is ready. They're suspicious of the 'gifts' he hands them since it's neither's birthday today and there's no holiday. They share a curious glance as they rip off the shiny gift paper to reveal two folders of documents (while Dick almost dies from anticipation and nerves). Gar is the first one to react - his lips slowly stretch into the biggest grin imaginable. "For real? Are you serious? This is real stuff?" his voice grows louder and more excited with each following question and Dick can't help but laugh. Rachel stays quiet though. She stares at the papers in her hands with her brows furrowed. Seconds pass and she's not moving. It's like she's not even breathing. "Rachel?" Kory asks quietly, taking a step her way. And then the floodgates open. Rachel's face twists into a grimace as she starts sobbing uncontrollably. She covers her mouth with her hand to muffle it but there's no use. Dick walks up to her, terrified he did something wrong but then she throws herself into his arms, repeating "thank you" and "I love you" over and over again. Dick pulls Gar to him as well and hugs them both. "You're my kids." He whispers to them. "I love you more than anything in the world. And nothing will ever change that." By the time of Rachel's 16th birthday she and Gar are officially Graysons.

Dick and Kory get married the following year. It's a glamorous but small ceremony with reception held at the Wayne Manor. For the months leading to the big day the kids (with the help of the entire team and few other people) prepare something very special - and the idea comes from Uncle Clay. Turns out Clay, as the closest friend of Dick's parents, owns a small storage unit where he keeps some of the stuff from the circus, including personal things - like a box of journals of Mary Grayson, who had been writing them since she was a child. Clay tells Gar and Rachel a story about how Mary used to write poetry which then she turned into songs and sometimes performed them at the circus. He even still has some of her stage outfits. The three of them get the idea that Gar and Rachel should look through tapes with her performances and pick one song to sing together at the wedding - and that's what they do. They find a beautiful ballad where Clay accompanied Mary on the piano (he teaches Gar how to play it) and in secret the team prepares the whole show. The performance happens during the Bride and Groom's first dance. Gar enters the stage in a tuxedo, says a few words and starts playing. Dick and Kory start dancing slowly but stop for a moment when he starts singing the first verse. They have no idea what's coming next. Rachel, in Mary's dress stands in the crowd surrounding the couple. Hank comes to stand behind her and secretly puts a microphone in her hand. She comes in for the second verse of the song and that's when Dick and Kory stop dancing completely, too surprised to move. They watch in absolute awe as Rachel joins her brother on stage and they finish the song together. When Dick realizes he actually remembers this song from his childhood and that the dress Rachel is wearing belonged to his mother he breaks down in tears. After the song is over the kids join their parents on the dancefloor for a bone-crushing group hug (and to help you imagine this even better this is the song I imagine them singing)

The day Rachel and Gar get their college acceptance letters is one of the most stressful days in their lives. They're in the Tower's kitchen, both holding the envelopes in their hands, afraid to open them. "What are you guys waiting for? Open it!" Kory encourages them. They agree to do it on three. Dick holds his breath, gripping tight his wife's hand. The kids read the letters, fully focused. There's a stretching moment of silence, and then… "I got in!" "Me too!" A lot of screaming and laughing and jumping around happens afterwards, but even in the chaos of all of that Dick can feel a burning knot tightening in his stomach.

And I thought sending Rachel to Themyscira was hard, Dick thinks when they drop Gar and Rachel off at college on their first day. Thankfully it's the same college, but it's in Chicago and it's still half a country away from home. He's not sure how many times he checked already if they have everything they need, if they haven't forgotten to pack something, if they are absolutely sure they know their schedule and so on. Kory, standing next to him with her hands on her growing belly, laughs at him fussing over them. Gar and Rachel just smile and nod, seeing how stressed he is. Yes, Dad, we're sure we have everything. Yes, we checked. Of course we'll call. Yes, Dad. Okay, Dad - and so on. At some point they all start laughing at the ridiculousness of it all but suddenly Dick is getting choked up. His two little birds are leaving the nest and he should be handling it better than he does. Seeing him clearlyon the edge of falling apart Gar and Rachel give him a tight hug. "I'm sorry." he says. "I'm just trying to let you go a little. Let you grow up." "It's that hard?" Rachel asks him and he looks at her - tall, beautiful, confident, brave and smart. Perfect. But he also still sees that little kid he met in Detroit. "It can't be that hard." Gar adds and for a moment when Dick looks at him he thinks he's seeing double - the young, handsome and courageous man who is standing in front of him now and that overexcited cheerful kid who joined them on their little road trip. "It's impossible." Dick tells them, pulling them back into another hug. "It's fucking impossible." Soon they have to go or they will be late for their classes and Dick and Kory are left alone on the campus. "They'll be okay." his wife tells him. He has to swallow down a bile in his throat and push back some tears before answering. "I know."

Oh and remember Dick's old silver Porsche? The one he traded for a minivan? Yeah, he got it back (don't ask him how). Rachel owns it now. Graduation present. And don't worry about Gar, he's got his car too. Grandpa Bruce got him his dream ride.

Woah... This turned out WAAAAAAAAAY longer than I thought it would be. If you made it this far (and even if you didn't) I hope you enjoyed.

[malfoysmaybank]

drivers license - stanley barber

a/n: i was having some writers block on my requests and i’ve been sobbing to this song on repeat, so here’s a fic for my bebs stanley barber. i also changed one lyric from “blonde girl” to “one girl” because it fit the plot more!

warnings: angst, you might cry (i did while writing this lols), parent absence, fluff at the end because i couldn’t break my heart with this one, but some straight angst is coming soon!!!!

word count: 1.7k+

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You had been best friends with Stanley Barber since you were young, maybe 10. You had stood up for him when some kids were pushing him around because of his outfit. 

“Hey! Get off of him!” You said, yelling at the trio of 5th grade boys pushing another boy to the ground. “Or what, Y/N? You’ll tattle? We aren’t scared of a girl.” The leader of the pack said. You clenched your jaw and punched him straight in the nose. You weren’t going to let a man talk to you like that. The leader started crying and ran off, his sidekicks following after him. You walked over to the boy on the ground and helped him up. “T-Thanks for that.” He said as he got back up. “No problem. I’m Y/N, by the way. Y/N Y/L/N.” You extended your hand for a handshake. He took it. “Stanley. Stanley Barber.”

You’ve been close ever since. You ate lunch with him that day and�� bonded over silly things like tv shows and favorite colors. In middle school, he helped you develop your style and you bonded over new things like favorite bands and books. You had his back and he had yours. He truly was your best friend.

However, you started seeing Stanley in a new light in eighth grade. He had gotten taller, his face a little more structured. He also learned how to play guitar that year. He wrote a song about you, of all things. Nobody had ever done something like that for you before. You started noticing the little things he did for you. He would randomly bring a bag of your favorite candy to lunch if he saw you were having a bad day. He taught you how to play piano because he thought it sounded nice with your voice. You fell in love with Stanley Barber. Fuck. Of course you’d NEVER tell him. You couldn’t fuck up the only good thing in your life right now. So that meant silently suffering whenever he had a crush on someone.

That’s the issue, you couldn’t be happy for him when he was with someone else. You spent countless days crying alone in your room after he’d go on for hours about his newest crush. This continued for a straight 3 years. His newest crush was Sydney Novak. You thought this one would blow over, just like his past few, but it didn’t. In fact, this one was the strongest crush he’s ever had. He’d been ditching you to hang out with her. He wasn’t even there to see you get your drivers license, something he’d been so encouraging about. He basically taught you how to drive because he knew how much it meant to you. He didn’t even know you had passed your test, never once asking. But in the sparse moments when he didn’t blow off plans, he’d constantly be talking about her. One of those sparse moments being tonight.

You were currently in his room/basement and he was going on one of his Sydney rants. “She’s so cool, Y/N. I mean, I’ve never met someone who I’ve clicked with more.” Um ouch, but whatever. “I don’t know, she’s just different. Like, in a good way though.” Three deep breaths, Y/N. 3… “We even hooked up the other night.” 2… “I think I’m in love with her.” 1. “Look Stanley, not to be rude, but do you EVER shut up about her?!” You spat. He looked over at you in shock. “I can’t do this tonight… I’m leaving.” You grab your ‘save the earth’ backpack and start jogging up the stairs to leave. 

He follows as you open the door to his garage. “Woah, woah, woah, Y/N. What’s up?” Stan calls from behind you. You grab your skateboard and lift up the garage door. It’s pouring outside, but you don’t care. You go to leave but feel a hand on your wrist stop you. “You’re not going out in weather like that, just come inside and we can talk.” He says gently, still slightly confused. “About what, Sydney again? Don’t you get it Stanley?!” You snap in his face. His eyebrows furrow and you let out a sarcastic laugh, tears building in your eyes. “Of course you don’t. You’ve been so wrapped up in Sydney that you forgot who I was! I’m so done, Stan. I can’t sit here and pretend that I don’t care anymore. Don’t bother hanging out with me anymore.” You snap and rip your wrist away from Stanley’s grip. 

You drop your board and get on, pushing as fast as you can. He calls after you but you block him out. When you’re a far distance away from him and his house, you just sit down on the side of the road and cry. Hurt that he’ll never be yours. Angry that he doesn’t care about you anymore. Frustrated because you tried to be the glue that held your friendship together, but even glue can’t fix the titanic.

You didn’t go to school for the next week. Your parents wouldn’t care, they weren’t even here. Still on some ‘business trip’ just like every week. Instead, you did something that calms you. Wrote music about how you were feeling. You played piano basically all week. Singing anything and everything you were feeling. It made you feel worse sometimes, but in the end it felt worth it.

Stan pulled into your driveway in his dad’s piece of shit car. He needed to work this out with you, he hadn’t seen you all week and he was worried. He missed his best friend. As he quietly closed the car door, he heard the piano playing. He didn’t recognize the song, he was curious. He didn’t even bother knocking, knowing you would slam the door in his face if you knew it was him. He quietly shut the front door and he heard your voice. It got louder as he walked closer to your bedroom door. He’d always loved your voice, it put him to sleep some nights. He could see you slightly, the door left ajar. He listened in.

“I got my drivers license last week,

Just like we always talked about.

'Cause you were so excited for me

To finally drive up to your house.

But today I drove through the suburbs,

Crying 'cause you weren't around”

You sang flawlessly, not a single note out of tune. There was so much emotion behind your voice. So much hurt, anger, frustration. He continued listening, trying to find out who caused you so much hurt. He’d bash their face in, that’s for sure.

“And you're probably with that one girl

Who always made me doubt.

She's so much older than me,

She's everything I'm insecure about”

With that first line, it hit him. He’d caused this hurt. The anger, the frustration, that was him. He was so angry with himself that he almost missed the next line… almost.

“Yeah, today I drove through the suburbs,

'Cause how could I ever love someone else?”

You… you loved him? He’d spent so much time on Sydney that he hadn’t even realized what was in front of him all these years. Except he had.

“And I know we weren't perfect, but I've never felt this way for no one.

And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay now that I'm gone.”

God damn it! He could’ve confessed sooner, instead of ignoring his feelings. And for what? A mindless hookup with Sydney?! He could’ve had you this whole time, but he fucked up.

“....Guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me.”

You said that line softly. No anger, or frustration, or even confusion behind that line. Just hurt. He saw a single tear fall down your cheek as you stopped singing. There was more to that song, you just couldn’t continue. He’d be sure to ask you to sing the rest of it later, but right now he needed to fix this. You stood up from the piano bench and he burst through the door. “Stanley, what are you doi-” You couldn’t even finish your sentence before he wrapped his arms around you and brought your head to his chest. “I meant every word of that damn song. Every word. I’m so sorry, Y/N. I’m so sorry.” Tears flowed down your face as you tightly hugged him back and buried your face in the crook of his neck. “I love you. And I’ll be better for you. I should’ve treated you with the respect and love you deserve. I swear I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you. Please give me a second chance, please.” He cried. “I love you too, Stan.” You started. “But I don’t know.” He squeezed you tighter (but still as gentle as possible, he didn’t want to hurt you), with more tears flowing out of his eyes. “Please, Y/N. I’ll be better. If I give you anything less than the love and attention you deserve, you have my full permission to punch me square in the face and kick me to the curb.” You both giggled, still crying. 

He let go of you to hold your face in his hands. “Please?” He begged. “...Okay, fine. But we need to go over how you’re going to do better in the future and what we can do to help each other communicate better and stuff.” You said. He picked you up and spun you around, making you squeal. “Thank you, thank you, thank you, Y/N!! I promise I’ll make it up to you, I promise.” You laughed as he set you down and leant down to whisper in your ear. “Want to hear a secret?” He said, sending shivers down your spine. “I never liked Sydney.” He laughed as you hit his chest. “You dick!” You exclaimed, shocked. He swiftly pulled you in by the waist, your faces inches apart as your hands rested on his chest. “You love me, though.” He whispered. “That I do.” You said and finally closed the gap. Damn, you could kiss this boy forever. Alas, the moment is cut short because unfortunately, humans need oxygen to survive. “I love you too.” He says and smiles, giving you a peck on the forehead. “Could you sing the rest of that song for me? I love your voice but that songwriting was INCREDIBLE.” He says and you nod.

------------------------------------------------------

permanent taglist: 

@loonylunaandthenargles​

[lilith-sp]

So I received this special request, and although I’m not a huge fan of writing with toxic scenarios, I really felt this person needed this, so hey! I really hope this makes you feel a little bit better! 

Never Alone

Victor x Reader

This was it, you were done for the day… 

"What the hell is this?! Are you really the head of the company?!" You hear your mom yelling at you as you started to leave home. 

"Hey! look at me when I talk to you!" she said once again. You really didn’t want to turn your back to her. Although you loved her and had worked so hard to help her out, although you were about to lose your company’s founding but  managed to convince Victor to give you a second chance, although you’ve revamped your dad’s tv show and had gained popularity again, the only things she could see from you were your flaws.

You can’t remember the last time you had a “normal” conversation, nor the last time you actually had fun together. Ever since dad wasn’t there, she had changed so much and became a complete stranger that had made your life harder and harder each day.

"What else do you want from me mom?!" you asked her desperately, trying to hold back your tears as much as you could.

"I don’t need nothing anymore, you can’t even look at me, you can’t even do that right so, forget it…" She replied with that disappointed voice now you're used to hear from her "If you want to leave, leave then, I don’t need you".

Inside, you felt like a million thorns were stabbing your heart, you felt alone, like there was nothing that could make you feel better. The idea of moving out has crossed your mind but right now, it wasn’t the time, not until your company’s numbers got better and Victor had recovered his investment.

You stood on the door a few seconds holding your phone, thinking about calling him, but you felt so embarrassed about the same situation happening over, and over again... You really didn’t want to run for his help anymore, although he's never told you there's anything wrong with that.

The truth is, you wanted to prove you could overcome anything. If you couldn’t handle your family situation, then, how could you handle your own company?

You squeezed your phone hard on that last thought and left your house once again, walking into the nothingness, waiting for her to calm down so you could go back home and have a rest for another day.

As you walked by the street on your way to Verdant Plaza, your phone suddenly rang. It was Victor. You felt your heart going up to your throat and started feeling anxious as you answered,  trying to stay calm.

"Y-Yes?"

"Are you ok?"

"Uhmmm… yeah, why do you ask?"

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, totally fine!" You managed to say faking a smile. 

A small awkward silence took place and then you heard Victor sigh heavily.

"Do you think a dummy like you can fool me? You didn't send me the report I asked and it was due an hour ago"

You stood frozen on place. That fight with your mom totally made you forget about your report.  Once again, you started to feel helpless, thinking that maybe, what your mom told you was true. You couldn't even do your work right, you couldn't even speak or come up with something smart to excuse yourself. You were disappointing Victor but most importantly, you were disappointing yourself.

Tears started to flow over your cheeks and you started sobbing trying to hold up, but it was useless. You had so much to be frustrated about, you didn't care what Victor would think about you at that point, you just needed him by your side to have hope again.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the phone, Victor was sitting is his car watching you from afar, silent, with a gaze filled with sorrow and anger but he wasn't mad at you. He knew how your mom was and how she mistreated you at times, so he guessed she was the reason behind your tears once again. Before this day, he decided not to interfere since he had respected every decision you've made so far of staying with your mom,  but that day, he had enough too…

"Turn to your right" you heard him say over the phone. You weren't sure why he asked you that but, as soon as you turned, you could see him walking towards you. 

You hung up and quickly ran right into his arms, finally feeling the warm embrace you were longing for so much, letting all those feelings overflow you completely. Victor was holding you tight with his strong arms while resting his chin over you head, stroking your back gently as you kept crying. 

"It's ok, I'm here now" he said with a tender voice that made your heart melt and feel you were at home. His scent invaded your senses entirely as you started to breath slowly trying to calm down.

"How did you know I was here?" You asked in an almost inaudible voice.

"I was on my way back from Souvenir and I saw a little idiot walking all alone by the street" 

"Why you keep calling me an idiot even in a moment like this?" You asked trying to hide a low chuckle while burying your head on his chest. You were actually glad to be with him.

"Why didn't you call me if you were not ok?" He asked with a slight concern in his voice "Haven't I told you to call me whenever you need me?"

"I thought you would be busy, besides, it was not that important" 

"So why did you start to cry all of a sudden? Am I that scary to you?" He asked with a warm yet sarcastic tone. 

"No it's not that, it's just –" you cut your own thought before finishing the sentence.  

“Dummy, it doesn’t matter what it is, you can always rely on me” he then gave me a sweet kiss on my forehead. The warmth of his breath made you shiver internally and your face started to feel hot, but then, your mind interrupted the moment, bringing back those horrible thoughts about not being good enough.  You weren't sure if it was a good time to ask what was truly on your mind but, you really needed to know his thoughts. 

“Victor, can I ask you something?” He looked at you a bit intrigued, patiently waiting for your question “Do you think... I’m useless?”

His eyes changed, suddenly his warm gaze turned into a much more cold and serious one. “Who told you that?”

“It doesn’t matter I just… need to know how you feel about me” you replied quickly. Your heart started to race a bit once more and your palms started to get a little sweaty. You know he’s no fool so, probably he knew what was going on, yet he never put you on more pressure or asked further about the issue.

“If you believe not sending your work on time is a synonym of being useless, then yes, you are”  you were shocked, did he really meant those words? “But, for me, the only way you could be useless is if you give up… and up to this day, you’ve kept on fighting despite the circumstances. So is not about how I feel about you, but how you feel about yourself” 

His words made a ton lot of sense. You stood quiet not knowing what to say and then he added “Don’t let what others tell you affect who you truly are. Just focus on being you, which is why I decided to give you a second chance.” He then grabbed your palm gently between his hands “It’s why I decided to be with you” 

His kind words resonated on your heart loud and clear. Victor has always managed to make you believe in yourself again. He made every single horrible thing to look tiny and insignificant, and he’s always helped you to become stronger. In that moment though, you remembered your mom’s words about not needing you and that made your heart ache a bit again. So you dared to ask Victor one last question: “Victor… do you… need me?”

Victor looked at you surprised, definitely he wasn’t expecting that. He closed his eyes for a brief moment while making a little smirk and moving slightly his head in disapproval “No, I don’t need you…” He took a step closer, still holding your hand “But I want you, always”. 

His soft lips finished closing the gap between you both. The warmth that you were feeling had dissipated the darkness that was inside, like the rays of the sun welcoming a new day.

“Now, you have two choices” He said after that kiss as he took your hand and started to walk with you “Either I take you home to pack your stuff or you just come with me with what you have right now”

“What?  but, why are you saying this?” you were really confused and weren’t sure what he meant.

“Looks like someone is very slow” He made special emphasis on “very” “From today on, I want you to live with me”

Your heart skipped a beat and your face immediately went red. Was he serious? Did he really wanted that so soon?

“But- I don’t want to be a burden! I mean, I- I…” You were flustered and overwhelmed by everything but also, very excited he asked you that.

“Don’t worry, I’ve got everything planned” 

“But my mom, I mean… I can’t leave her just like that”

“What are you, 13? you can make your own decisions now. Besides, I won’t let you stay with someone that doesn’t want to be with you” That last sentence made everything fall into place. It wasn’t new your mom was an issue, but you weren’t expecting he would take actions on the matter directly.

“Are you doing this only to protect me?” Even if he’d told you he wanted to be with you, the situation made you feel he was doing the whole thing because he felt pity and not because he actually wanted. 

“Weren’t my words and actions enough to show you how important you’re to me?” He said a bit impatient

“Well… maybe I just want you to tell me those things once more, just to make sure” you replied teasing a little

Victor sighed like giving up. He stood right in front of you holding your hands, and looked at you directly into your eyes “MC, I want to protect you from anyone that might hurt you, even if it’s your own family” Then his voice tone changed to a gentler one “But is not the main reason I want you to move in with me, I want this because…” He made a brief pause “I love you”

The final thorn remaining in your heart was finally released as hearing his tender voice saying those words. You couldn’t help feeling your emotions like a tidewave once more and decided to hop into Victor’s arms once again. “I love you too, Victor…”

He hugged you tight once again, like knowing you were accepting his proposal and his feelings too. Suddenly, every sound on the atmosphere got completely silent. There were no voices nor wind or steps to be heard at all.

“Why are you pausing time right now?” 

“I don’t want interruptions”

“Won’t we have the rest of our lives to hold like this too, without interruptions?”

He chuckled over that last sentence as he tightened his arms around your body a bit more. You could feel he was actually happy to hear that. 

“Dummy…”

“You’ll stay with me, forever, right?”

“As long as I live, you will never be alone anymore”

[mannatea]

Hi. I used to follow your old blog on a different account. Hope you're doing well. Do you have any tips on thinking up stories that are *not* dark and depressing due to subject material? The last story I was working on I had to quit because the backstory I was developing for my passive male character was super depressing. At times I enjoyed researching it, though what won out was the thought I was wasting my time looking into angsty things for something I wasn't even planning to publish. Now I want to write something a little happier. But I have the most experience in writing angst and cringe comedy 😅 thanks for any help you can give. Stay safe out there!

By the way, good on you for dropping that manga you used to follow. I was happy most of the characters lived, but other than that, it felt "meh" to me (granted, I didn't read all the way from the beginning). The author was probably going for a "people will always be fighting each other" theme, but some of the imagery of what happened after a time skip could definitely be taken as pro-fascist. And I was disappointed the protagonist basically said he wanted to bring about destruction! I'm glad I didn't spend any money to read it.

Wow, hi! I’m doing all right, thanks for asking. I hope you’re doing all right, too. :)

As far as “that manga” goes, I’ve kept tabs on it. I’ve been on the fringes for the last two-ish years; I dedicated something like four real life years to that fandom and mostly had a good time while I was there (made some friends I hope to keep for life), so it was one of those situations where I just had to find out how it ended. I realized at some point that I was in a very negative space in the fandom, and felt it was better to publicly drop the series and the blog associated with all of my meta/discussion than to play in what had become a toxic pool for me. I didn’t really want to drop the account after my time there, but I couldn’t have dealt with the nonstop questions/messages/etc that would have piled in over the years, and eh, when you’re done you’re done. I criticize Hallmark television for fun, now, instead. It’s a lot less stressful! And literally nothing is That Deep so there’s very few delusions, at least on the Tumblr side of things. (Reddit, however, is insane, but I don’t post in the fandom there.)

As far as writing advice goes, I am going to apologize in advance for muddled thoughts. I just got out of work and have been staring at numbers all day, so it’s hard for me to think lmaoo.

In my opinion, any sort of character or personality type/flaw/whatever could have developed via a negative OR positive influence/catalyst, so that’s something to consider. I also think people tend to reach for “sad” or “traumatic” pasts either as a way to cope with their own issues/pasts/whatevers, or because it’s the “easy explanation” for why a character is the way they are.

If you WANT to write things a certain way, it’s sometimes a matter of changing the lens through which you’re viewing life, the story, the characters, or character writing in general. This is never easy, especially when you find a genre you feel comfortable in, but it’s always possible. When I was in college and submitted an autobiographical piece (Rot Tooth) for a creative writing final, I received multiple comments from classmates and even the professor that my talent/skill was in writing comedy. COMEDY!!!! I don’t think anyone who has read my writing from the last decade would say that I was a comedy writer. I stopped labeling ‘fics as humor/romance so long ago I can’t even remember when it was. But boom. I had written a comedy piece.

I don’t think I can ignore that most of the comedic elements in Rot Tooth were brought about because humor is one of the ways in which I cope with things, but it was also a very conscious choice I made. I wanted people to be able to engage with the story without being grossed out, without getting bored, without feeling that it was a poor-pathetic-me story, and humor was the classiest way to do it. Here, read this long story that includes journal entries from Ye Olde Livejournal days, but it will make you laugh often enough that the depressing aspects of the story don’t weigh it down too much! It was probably the only way to make the subject matter widely palatable. 

As often as I joke about characters or scenes or moments that “just write themselves” the author does have control. I mostly write fanfiction, so let’s go with examples from that.

I’m (very slowly) working on a ‘fic called Three Years which features a character who, when last seen, was headed off to serve a prison sentence. They haven’t been on the show for three years and thus I assume they have been serving that sentence for the last three years. The story starts when this character is released from prison. They are a woman. This is a historical piece of fiction. Prisons were vile to women and yet...this is fiction. I have a choice. I get to choose. Does she get to start her life off carrying 25 bags of trauma or just 2? It would be unreasonable to expect that someone, especially a woman, who was imprisoned for 3 years in the early 1900s wouldn’t have some issues (at the very least, the isolation would have been awful), but it doesn’t really have to be much worse than that. It doesn’t.

I have the power to choose.

A character has anger issues. Sure, he could have had a traumatic past with an abusive parent who took his anger out on him or his mom or whatever...or maybe it is an inherited personality trait and the parent figure with the problem was never really That Bad about it, but seeing it normalized makes it harder for the character in question to realize it’s a huge problem and part of their character arc is realizing they need to get help, not because they don’t want to be like their dad, and not because they hate their dad, but because they just want to be a better person/they don’t want to let that struggle consume them.

Someone’s sweetheart goes off to war. Guess what? They don’t have to die there to force a traumatic past. They don’t have to come back a raging alcoholic either. Maybe the time apart, and the time fighting a war just puts a natural sort of crack in the relationship by making it clearer to each character what they want in life/what matters to them in their life.

A character is super passionate about their work/hobby. Maybe they have ADHD and it’s a hyperfixation. Maybe they’re autistic and it’s a Special Interest. It doesn’t have to be “their parents ignored them and forced them to be alone all the time and they used this thing to cope so it means everything to them because it’s always been there.”

Maybe you have a character whose greatest fear is losing the people they love. It doesn’t have to be because a pet died in their arms when they were four and it traumatized them. It doesn’t have to be because they only have one person they love in the whole world. It can just be a thing because that’s a valid fear literally anyone can reasonably have, and maybe it’s a bigger deal because they don’t have siblings or aren’t close to many people! (And the “aren’t close to many people” thing doesn’t have to stem from trauma, either. Most busy adults for example who get to choose their friends, are just like that.)

A perfectionist might just have the personality type; it doesn’t mean their parents criticized everything they ever did. A person with three failed marriages might hesitate to fall in love and try again but it doesn’t have to be because those three failed marriages were abusive. A quiet character may just be shy or introverted by nature. 

I think everyone carries some kind of trauma with them, so it’s never unreasonable to have some in a person’s past (you can’t write an ugly character without having to think about the fact that they carry some trauma from what it’s like to grow up ugly), but it doesn’t have to define them. It doesn’t have to overshadow everything else in their past.

You can always ask yourself, “Why am I reaching for angst every time I create a backstory?” Literally everyone has some kind of angst. Most kids were hurt by things said to them in school, for example, or made fun of for some reason. Most people did something extremely embarrassing as a kid and never got over it. There are a thousand little moments in our adult lives that go back to these little points—you might call them the tiny traumas. But they’re not defining. They’re not so heavy they also live in the present. Not all of them.

Why do you reach for the darkest corner? Why not for the light? Or a middle ground?

I encourage people to write basically whatever floats their boat, but it sounds like you’re at a point where you just feel weighed down by that sort of stuff, and that’s not a great way to feel, especially when it discourages you from working on a project entirely.

My final suggestion: look at some of your favorite characters from various types of media. Are they all traumatized? What are their defining characteristics? Black Beauty has some depressing stuff in it, but is ultimately a story with a happy ending. Pride and Prejudice has drama, but nobody’s past is filled with the darkest stuff imaginable. North and South has awful things to consider in it (cotton mills were sooo awful) but the characters are not wildly traumatized people.

What kind of story are you trying to tell? Do the characters need to be traumatized to tell it? Does the story have to be dark to get across the message you want to send? 

Way back in the day, when I was into “that manga” I made an RP blog for a one-off character that nobody gave a damn about. Like, he was so one-off that even back in those days nobody even remembered him having existed. It was sort of a joke RP blog that wasn’t supposed to be serious. The only canon information we had about this character was that he enjoyed drinking. I decided to make him a lighthearted character because the series was pretty dark and I wanted to send people hilarious starters instead of wading through the muck of depression with everyone else’s sad, abused characters. I decided his family was old money and he had a brother. Nothing super traumatizing in his past. Some family issues but not the sort of thing that would haunt anyone. He was not traumatized in his recent past any more than other characters were. Mostly just “a regular guy.” I really loved RPing him. He was fun! The story could get heavy but he didn’t have to be.

Anyway, dive head-first into the dark angst if you want, but if it’s not necessary to tell the story you want to tell, just remember you don’t have to go there. You have the choice.

[rocksandrobots]

Of Rocks and Robots Ch. 10 - Gogo

Disclaimer:  So, this story is PG. Basically anything you might see come up in an old 90s sitcom, like Boy Meets World, Fresh Prince, Save by the Bell ect, is liable to show up along with anything that the parent shows cover. Nothing unsuitable for family entertainment, but clearly covering more mature subjects than the original source material, including today’s chapter which discusses alcohol.

Varian was hot. The sun beat down on the back of his neck and sweat began to trickle down his forehead. He couldn't remember experiencing a hotter day. In Corona the temperature wouldn't rise more than a balmy 15 degrees Celsius normally, but today, here in San Fansokyo, it had to be close to 20 or more. His phone said it was 73 degrees Fahrenheit specifically, but he was still getting used to the different measurements Americans typically used. All he knew was that he had worn the lightest clothes he had, a tank top and athletic shorts, and he was still burning up. 

Unfortunately, there was nowhere to escape from the oppressive heat. He was standing on the sidewalk next to a stranger's house while Gogo worked on their car. She did repair work on vehicles as a side job. Often exchanging her services for a cheaper price to other students which in turn gave her more flexibility in what jobs she took and when. 

Right now she was helping out another student whose car wouldn't start and didn't want to call a tow to take it to a mechanic. Varian had expressed an interest in learning how automobiles worked, so she had agreed to letting him come along and teaching him some basics. However, there was nothing for him to do at the moment. Gogo was under the vehicle on a rolling board and there wasn't enough room for both of them down there. So all Varian could do was standby and watch, which was difficult as he couldn't really see what she was doing from the position she was in now. 

Instead he surveyed the street and surrounding buildings. There were the tightly packed three story townhouses behind them and on the other side of the street were clothing shops, apartments, a bank on the far street corner, and a single restaurant that read ‘Maggie’s Pub and Grill’. Varian licked his lips at the thought of drinking something cold and wet to stave off the blistering heat. He dug his hands in his pockets to check if he had any cash. He still had a fiver leftover from the twenty Wasabi had given him two weeks ago at the mall. 

“Hey Gogo, I’m going to go get a drink, you want anything?” He loudly asked the girl lying under the car.

“Uhhh, a soda would be nice. Maybe some Mr. Pep.” Gogo yelled back at him, never leaving her position or stopping her work. 

“I don’t know if they sell that there, but I’ll ask” and with that he walked away and headed across the street. 

“Just knock on the door and ask Ashley if she has any...” Gogo said distractedly, not noticing that Varian was no longer there. After a moment or two without hearing an answer, Gogo suddenly rolled out from underneath the vehicle. 

“Wait.” She said to no one in particular as she stared up at the sky and began to put together what had just happened.

---------------------------

Varian squinted his eyes as he walked into the dark pub. The establishment was empty save for the barkeep at the other end wiping down the counter. This surprised Varian. In his world a place like this would be packed at this time of day, filled with field workers and sheepherders stopping to take their mid-day break. Practically his whole village would be gathered at the local tavern to eat, drink, and share gossip before going back to work. Varian had figured it would be even more crowded here given the larger city and the heat of day. 

He shrugged his shoulders. Oh well, maybe the food here wasn’t all that good. Didn’t matter, all he wanted was a drink. He walked over to the bar. 

“Hi, do you sell any, what was it she asked for,” Varian waved hello at the man on the other side and then cupped his chin in thought as he tried to recall what it was Gogo had wanted. “Pep?” He finished.

The large man didn’t answer him back, only to wordlessly reach under the counter and pull out a can of the soda and set it down. 

“Oh, yes, that’s it. Also I’ll have your darkest ale, please.” 

“I.D.” The man said deadpan. 

“Excuse me?” Varian asked, not sure what the man was requesting. 

“I need to see your officially licensed identification.” The man explained tiredly, as if he had to recite this often. 

“Uh, I have my student I.D. if that’s what you want.” Varian said, confused, as his hand went back into his pocket to dig out his wallet and money.   

The big man gave a heavy sigh and pointed to a sign placed in front of the cash register. ‘In Accordance to Federal Law all Patrons must be 21 or older to purchase alcohol and must show valid I.D.’ It read.

“You need a government issued license or passport, kid.” The barkeep said with annoyance, clearly believing Varian was there to try and pull some scam.

Varian, however, could only stare at the sign in bewilderment, still frozen in place with his hand in his pocket. His mouth hung open in astonishment as he tried to process what was going on. The amount of reliance on forms and identification in this world was odd enough but now there were laws against beer? That was practically all anyone drunk in his world. Coffee, tea, and cocoa were expensive and meant as a treat, and the only drinking water to be had were from the community wells, the river being brackish that close to the sea, and you still had to take time to draw the water. Which you didn’t want to do every time you were thirsty. And while this world did have running water, less expensive hot beverages, and that sugary soda in abundance; he still couldn’t figure out why that would be the cause for preventing anyone from buying an ale, let alone people under such an arbitrary age. 

“But… but why?” He whined in confusion. 

Just then Gogo burst through the door, stormed to up to the front counter, and before Varian could complain to her about this dumb rule, she grabbed him by the ear and proceeded to drag him back outside.

---------------------------

It wasn’t until they had made it back across the street did Gogo relinquish her grip on Varian. 

“What were you thinking!” She whirled on him angrily.

Varian only stood there and looked at her, still befuddled and ruefully rubbing his ear where she had pinched it.  

“You’re only sixteen!” She yelled, as if this was the most obvious explanation for her righteous anger.  

“So? You’re only eighteen.” He retorted back. As if she had any right to berate him in such a manner when she was only two years older. 

“I’m an adult,” She explained. “But that’s not the point. You’re a child. You don’t need to be drinking or trying to trick bartenders that you’re older.”

“I’m not a child!” Varian responded, properly angry now himself. “What makes you any different?” 

“I can hold down a job, pay rent, buy groceries, I can vote.” She began to list off what she thought were requirements for adulthood. 

“Sooo can you drink?” Varian interrupted as he pointed back to the bar. 

“Well, no.” She admitted, temporarily tripped up by that question. However, the smug look on Varian’s face renewed her annoyance with him. “You can’t even buy a hamburger without someone’s help.” 

“Just because I’m new to this world, doesn’t mean I can’t take care of myself.” He said, deeply offended by that last remark. 

“Oh really, and when’s the last time you had to buy your own food, or clothes, or live on your own?” She asked skeptically.

“I’ve been on my own since I was fourteen!” He snapped. 

Then just as suddenly he stiffened with surprise, he hadn’t meant for that to come out. Both he and Gogo stared at each other, herself equally in shock by his revelation. He quickly turned his head away, bit his lower lip, and stuck his hands in his pockets. He just stood there awkwardly unwilling to look her in the eyes.

For Gogo’s part, she felt her heart drop the moment he had said it. What did he mean ‘on his own’? Who’d leave a fourteen year old to fend for themselves? Didn’t he say he had a dad? But before she could ask for some clarity, Varian spoke again. 

“Look, I’m sorry,” He said defensively, “I didn’t know about the alcohol rule. It won’t happen again.” He put his hands up in defeat and then walked away from her and the conversion. Making his way back to the car, he picked up a wrench and began to tighten a socket. He wasn’t entirely sure what he was doing but anything to keep himself busy and to avoid any more uncomfortable arguments. 

Gogo watched him with increasing worry. She wanted to know more, to help him, but she could tell from his stance and his behavior that he wasn’t willing to talk about it. She knew all about avoiding feelings and bottling up one’s problems. Not that long ago she had been a moody teenager who shoved people away, too. Heck, she still was a moody teenager that shoved people away. Though she had gotten better since she started college. It was amazing how much difference only two years could make. 

Before she had met Tadashi and her other friends, she had been a pretty lonely person. Constantly bullied in grade school and struggling with depression, she was considered the weird emo kid that always sat quietly in the back of the class. However, no matter how bad things had gotten, no matter how many fights she got into at school, nor now many times she cried into her pillow at night, she had always, always had her dad to turn to. Even now she still relied on the man, rushing to him to bare her soul when Tadashi had died, unable to bring herself to talk to anyone else about her recent loss. 

Who did Varian have? She wondered. If his father wasn’t there for him, then who did he turn to for help? Why had he even been left alone? 

Her thoughts were broken when Varian let out a yelp of pain. He had burned his hand on the hot metal and proceeded to stick his fingers in his mouth to suck on the injured digits, still not looking at her, embarrassed by his clumsiness.   

She let out a weary sigh. He was a mess. But so was she, and she didn't know how best to reach him. What would dad do? She thought. Try to get her to open up about a subject that she did enjoy or distract her with a project, she decided. 

"Sooo, Wasabi tells me you want to learn how to drive." Gogo said, changing the subject while she slowly made her way over to stand next to him. 

"Yeah." Varian agreed quietly, keeping his eyes on the engine, still choosing to not look at her. "But because I just moved here I wouldn't be able to get my license for another six months. I'm not sure I'll still be here by then." And with that he ducked back under the hood. 

This didn't sound encouraging to Gogo. If he truly was on his own then what was he going back for? But she knew bringing her doubts up would only push him away further. 

"Well, if you are still here in six months, you'll need a car to drive around in." She suggested instead. 

This grabbed Varian's attention and he finally stopped to look back at her. "Whatd'ya mean?"

"Well it's just, if you want to still learn how cars work, then perhaps we can build one, together. That way if Wasabi helps you get your license then you'll have your own vehicle to ride in." She continued slowly.

"You… you mean it?" Varian hopefully asked. 

"Sure, we can work on it in our free time." She said encouragingly. 

"Yeah? Yeah! That... that’d be great. I'd really like that." Varian agreed. 

He smiled appreciatively at Gogo and she returned it in kind. 

"Of course the first thing you'll need to learn is what socket you need to tighten or not." She gently teased, pointing to the socket he had busied himself with for the past few minutes to no avail. 

"Oh, right." He laughed in embarrassment and finally stopped trying to use the wrench. 

"Here, let me show you how to check the oil." She said and thus the day passed without further incident, just the two of them laughing and bonding over cars.