#because spooky mulder is just a name

[gregmarriage]

need me a relationship like mulder and scully. i say wild and crazy things, but you respect and admire my beliefs and my passion. also, you think i’m cute

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

things we learn about mulder in s1

he wanted to be an astronaut when he was young, and stayed up all night when he was 14 to watch his hero do a walk in space

he's scared to death of fire because his friend's house burned down when he was a kid

he went to oxford 10 years before the start of s1, where he dated phoebe and they, at the very least, made out on arthur conan doyle's grave (but it's implied they went all the way)

he is a fan of like. all of the sports. i cannot keep up with them all, but he sure can

he had his first case at the age of 28, where an agent died because he wouldn't take a risky shot

(and he remembers everything about the man who died- his kids, their ages, what they do for fun- all of it haunts him)

((he also, at the trial for the man who killed the agent, screamed that he "should die like an animal, you son of a bitch"- so much for cool and composed spooky mulder))

he always falls asleep on his couch to the point where i don't even know if this man has a bed

before being moved to the x-files, he worked for 3 years at the behavioral science unit, where he profiled serial killers

(also literally no one wants him on the x files they just keep him around because he is too dangerous to fire lmao)

he will go out of his way to make any kids involved a case he's assigned to feel comfortable and/or laugh as a break from the Heavy Moments (probably because he remembers being questioned while very young and how awful it felt)

he believes that siblings have a psychic connection (heartbreaking when you remember his sister disappeared when he was 12 and he only has access to the memories due to hypnosis)

he refused to let his parents call him by his first name and only went by "mulder", even as a child

[dbmars]

NOW ON A03...

The H-Files, Episode 1 Part 1

Relive everything you loved about the pilot of the X-Files but better now that it's Hannibal as Scully and Will as Mulder... "Spooky Graham"...!

The aliens may be responsible for Will's empathy powers, and Mischa was abducted...

If I get a decent response/support I'll finish the episode and maybe write some more!

No time like the present. I make my way back through the violent crime section, and downstairs, revisiting the secretary. She directs me to an elevator that sinks me down to the first sub-basement level. The doors open and I move through the cinder block hallway that smells of industrial floor cleaner and wet ceiling tiles. At the end of the hallway, past shelves of case file boxes, is an office door cracked open. The placard reads GRAHAM. I can hear shuffling within, the movement of a chair. My nose wrinkles against cheap aftershave and stale coffee.

        I knock. I knock again. “Sorry, nobody down here but the FBI’s most unwanted,” comes a wry voice. 

        I push the door open, revealing a small, windowless room packed with filing cabinets and shelves of still more files and paperwork. Despite what must be the vast amount of material crammed into the space, it is remarkably tidy, stacks neatly organized, lines clean. The bulletin board above the desk, however, is a mess of photos and handwritten notes. My eye is immediately drawn to a large poster of a science-fiction style flying disc, emblazoned with the phrase “I WANT TO BELIEVE.” 

        They don’t look like inverted bowls. More like saucers, thin and fragile, somehow meant to support an even more fragile teacup. 

        Against my will, my mind shows me the images that have haunted me most of my life – my mother’s teacup shattering against the floor, the white light filling every window of our hunting lodge, my sister’s screams, the whining, mechanical hum of the silver beast that descended from the heavens. My mother’s terrified shrieking as I raced out to save my sister, only to be rendered weightless, floating in searing blindness, and borne away. 

        I slam that door in the memory palace and attach another lock to it. They seem to rust and break at the most inopportune times.

         Agent Will Graham is bent over a light box, examining a series of slides. He, too, seems to forego the typical FBI uniform of dark suits and white shirts with uninteresting ties. He looks more like a rumpled professor or domesticated outdoorsman in brown pants and a green collared shirt that could just as easily be worn for yard work. His hair is curly, untidy in places, and he wears a layer of scattered stubble. When he turns to me, Will Graham lowers his tortoiseshell glasses down from his head. Fascinating. Nearsighted? 

        I give him my best introduction smile, oozing friendliness and ease. “Agent Graham. My name is Hannibal Lecter.” I approach and offer a hand. He shakes it very briefly, and a shadow flickers over his expression as I hold on just a little too long for his comfort. “I’ve been assigned to work with you.” 

         He glances at my eyes for a fraction of a second before turning his head, putting the frames of his glasses between us as a barrier. “Nice to, ah, suddenly be so highly regarded,” he says, all barbed irony. Rude. He turns in his seat and fiddles with the slides, deliberately disengaging. Ruder still. “So, who’d you piss off to get stuck with this detail, Lecter?” 

    He knows full well why I am here, it seems. Rather, why I’ve been sent. But they could have sent anyone. I was not chosen at random. There are multiple chess pieces moving at the same time on a three-dimensional board, and I have control of the queens. I am here because I seek truth. Because I cannot trust my memories – they might be nothing but a traumatized child’s nightmares, a wounded brain trying to explain what happened the night the world went away. Will Graham may very well be the lantern to light my way.

         “As it happens, I’ve heard a lot about you,” I say pleasantly as he gets up from his desk chair and opens a tidy file cabinet drawer, thumbing through the immaculate plastic tabs. I wonder if his drawers at home are kept just as meticulously. “I’m looking forward to working with you.”

         “Really? I was, ah, under the impression you were sent here… to spy on me.” He opens the file and glances through a few typewritten pages before returning it to its proper place. I let my eyes wander over him as he stands in profile. I’d jump at the chance to spy on him. Voyeurism is one of my favorite parts of my process - to see without being seen. To stalk. I imagine him moving through his assuredly modest home, stretching, scratching his head, sleepy. Ready for bed in, oh, a pair of dull boxer shorts. I think of him illuminated by the light of his refrigerator as he searches for a little something before bed, uplit by its unholy glow as I watch him through the window.

            Interesting. My body is responding sexually to the image. I wipe it away as though I’d drawn it in steam on a mirror. “Agent Graham, if you have any doubts about my credentials or qualifications-”

            “-you’re a medical doctor and you’re teaching at the academy.” He interrupts me. Rude. Instead of imagining my knife piercing his skin, I picture him on his knees, waiting to make it up to me. Again, I force the image to dissolve. “You did your undergraduate degree in physics, while, ah, concurrently double majoring in psychology and art history with a focus on Renaissance Italy.” He selects another file from the cabinet and slides the drawer shut. “I dunno about your artsy stuff, but your senior thesis was ‘Einstein’s Twin Paradox: A New Interpretation’. Now, there’s a credential: rewriting Einstein.” 

            I successfully mask my surprise that he’s so familiar with my work. “Did you happen to read it?”

            He returns to his desk chair and compares something in the file to a slide. I glance over at his computer screen as he bends over to retrieve a dropped report from the file. I make out the words force, abduction, and light before he rights himself. “Yeah. I liked it,” he says, still not looking at me directly, the rims of his glasses in the way. “It’s just that in, ah… in my line of work – the laws of physics rarely seem to apply.” He adjusts another slide, then turns on the projector, flashing a washed-out image on the blank bit of cinder block wall kept clear, it seems, for this purpose. He has a curve to his lips on one side that strikes me as impudent. I want to wipe it off his face, one way or another.

            “Not fond of eye contact, are you?” I say, an attempt to derail and destabilize. 

            Now he swivels in his chair and looks directly at me. His eyes are like the ocean between islands in Greece. “Eyes are distracting. You see too much. You don’t see enough. And it’s hard to focus when you’re thinking those whites are really white, or they must have hepatitis, or is that a burst vein?”

            I can’t help but smile, returning his gaze steadily. 

            “So… yeah. I try to avoid eyes whenever possible. It’s even easier in the dark.” Agent Graham steps behind me and switches off the lights. The windowless cell is lit now only by the projected image – a young woman, lifeless on the ground. Ah. I had wondered when we’d discuss murder. While Will Graham is apparently very aware of my career and accomplishments, he doesn’t know of my finest work as the Chesapeake Ripper. Perhaps, someday, he will. 

            Will leans his hips against his desk, crossing his arms over his midsection. It catches the loose fabric of his shirt, drawing it against the bow of his back. Distracted again. I refocus on the image he’s elected to show me. “Maybe you can give your medical opinion, though,” he says. “Oregon female. Age twenty-one. No explainable cause of death. Nothing in the autopsy.” He switches slides, showing me a close-up shot of the young woman’s lower back, marred by two livid red welts. According to the ruler nearby for scale, they are roughly the size of an American dime. “Two distinct marks, however, are found on her lower back. Can you ID these marks… Dr. Lecter?”

            I move closer to the projected image. Despite not liking eye contact, I can feel him watching me. Perhaps he has some voyeuristic tendencies as well. “Needle punctures, perhaps. An animal bite. Electrocution is a possibility.” 

            When he switches slides again, I hide my surprise. It is not the body from another angle, but a diagram showing a chemical compound. 

            “How’s your chemistry? This is the substance found in the surrounding tissue.”

            I study the image, my brain humming steadily. I do love a challenge, and I find them so rarely. “It’s inorganic. Perhaps a synthetic protein.”

            “Hell if I know,” Agent Graham says. 

            “That’s surprising. You must have had your fair share of chemistry studying entomology. Your monograph on determining time of death based on insect activity required a high level of understanding to compose, I’m sure.” 

            “By all means, be sure,” he snarks, but the subtle pink staining his cheekbones tells me he’s pleased I’m familiar with his work as well. “I’ve never seen it, either. But here it’s found again, in Sturgis, South Dakota.” He switches slides, this one depicting a large man in a motorcycle club vest with the same two raised welts on his back. He switches again, showing me another male body with the same marks in the same place, spanning the thoracolumbar fascia and the internal oblique muscles. “And again, in Shamrock, Texas.”

            A true mystery. This is delightful. I haven’t had an afternoon so pleasant since I murdered the man sent to evaluate me by my life insurance agency and stretched his corpse across two rows of bus seats. “Do you have a theory?” 

            “I have, ah… plenty of theories,” he dismisses, joining me in front of the projected image, the dead man’s outline juxtaposed over him, throwing the kind of light that both obscures and reveals. His forehead bears a gentle shimmer of perspiration, and I can smell more of him now, the scent beneath the cheap aftershave – dogs, fresh splits of pine, machine oil, and something sweet I’d need more time and a closer proximity to identify. He doesn’t look at me, turning his head to the side a few degrees to let the slide’s light catch on the lenses of his glasses instead. “What has me stumped is why Bureau policy is to label these cases as unexplained phenomena and ignore them.” 

            I can sense the rumble of anger beneath his sardonic tone, taut with frustration. 

            “So, Dr. Lecter, do you believe in the existence of… extraterrestrials?” He says it with a wry twist that might be a kind of bitter smile. I tilt my head. “As a scientist,” he prompts, leaving me to lean against the edge of his desk again. 

            “Logically, I’d have to say no.” I do strive to tell the truth in my own way. Logically, I shouldn’t. But I am here because I need his help with the illogical – to determine, once and for all, if something happened to me, or I happened. “Given the distances needed to travel from the far reaches of space, the energy requirements would exceed–”

            He interrupts, shaking his head. “Conventional wisdom. That girl in Oregon – she’s the fourth member of her graduating class to die under mysterious circumstances. When convention and-and science offer no answers, might we not consider the, ah, the fantastic as a plausibility?” 

            He tested me at first, showing me the chemical compound and the crime scene photos. Now, he wants to make the boundaries clear. Impudent. Wants to get a rise out of me, surely, to define the methods of interaction. 

            My answer is mild, clinical, the kind of voice I’d use if I’d chosen to become a psychiatrist. “The girl is dead. Death occurs for a reason.” Sometimes, I am that reason. “If it was natural causes, then it’s plausible something was missed in the postmortem. If she was murdered, it’s plausible there was a sloppy investigation. What I find fantastic is your willingness to sidestep human error and search for answers beyond the realm of science. The answers are there, I’m sure. You just have to know where to look.” I raise an eyebrow to add in the sentence I won’t let my mouth say. Apparently, you don’t know where to look. Or you want me to think you don’t know where to look. 

            Agent Graham looks at me now, a brief glance up through his side-lit lenses. His left eye is illuminated as well, making it unearthly blue and leaving the other subdued, its subtle green and brown tones shimmering through the dominant color. He smiles, the most genuine expression I’ve seen yet, and I’m momentarily distracted by his beauty. It’s like visiting the Louvre, making one’s way quickly to see a great work before a crowd forms, and catching sight of an exquisite but uncelebrated painting in a forgotten side gallery that makes one lose all sense of purpose, the internal compass spinning and spinning. 

            “And that’s why they put the I in FBI.” He breaks away and sinks back into his desk chair, rolling over to the glowing blue screen of his computer monitor. “See you bright and early then, Dr. Lecter. We leave for the, ah, the very plausible state of Oregon at 8 am.” 

            I can’t help but smile back, a beam of pleasure, as he turns away from me and begins clacking at the keys. “Until then, Will.”

            I’ve taken a risk, demanding a first name basis. He makes no comment, waves a hand over his shoulder.

            I take my leave and hurry home to pack. 

[shutupineedtothink]

X files 2x01 mini analysis/review!

Ok theres just some stuff I have to get off my chest about this ep. Which was stellar BTW.

I have to admit, the s1 finale was good but didn't reach the high highs of eps like beyond the sea and tooms for me.

But this one delivered at the top of s2 which is exactly what you have to do to kick off a second season.

Also pleasantly surprised that they aren't just immediately back on the x files by the end of the episode! I wonder how long this will play out but I hope it's another episode or two at least.

Some superficial stuff first: thank actual Jesus they put Mulders hair back the way it was, his terrible military haircut in the last few eps of s1 was so not it. I was instantly like omg his hair is back thank youuuuu

Loved the location change in this ep, basically putting Mulder in a bottle while Scully hunts him down.

RIP Jorge I only caught a little bit of the Español but my guess is he was saying there's aliens out there dude

Ok backtracking a bit - i loved the scene of them meeting in the parking garage at Watergate of all places. Scullys like what do I have to do to get you to talk to me bro and he's just looking soooo worse for wear. I normally love the chiaroscuro thing they do with the lighting all the time but this was a little intense on the shadow on her face. I love that she sort of not ruffles his hair but lays a hand on his head before she leaves. She's trying to comfort 12 year old Mulder in that moment.

Speaking of 12 year old Mulder, we see the full flashback to his sisters abduction. And I think we're meant to assume the same aliens show up at the station. That was wild and very spooky.

Love all the little espionage moments from Scully mainly in this ep. Getting the paper from the surveillance guys by scooping fish food into it? A+. Shaking the tail at the airport? A++. I love how determined she is to find him as soon as she figures out he's gone.

Meanwhile, Mulder is on his own, but speaking into the recorder- and we only learn he's been speaking to Scully the whole time after he says her name when he's going through the initial autopsy observations. At first I was like oh, he's assuming that she'll be conducting the actual autopsy at some point so that's why he's talking to her. David also does this great tone shift where he’s trying to be very scientific and methodical with his observations in the beginning but then you can hear his voice start to break down with fear and doubt when he says her name. Anyway, after that I realized no, I think we're meant to take it that he's been talking to her through the recorder the WHOLE TIME. he feels more lost and alone than he ever has but she'll never leave the back of his mind from now on. 😭

It really speaks highly of a two hander show when you can separate those characters for the majority of the episode and it not only still works but it still works really well. And I think it’s because you feel this magnetic pull from both of them always trying to get back to the other, whether it’s Scully literally searching for Mulder or Mulder talking to Scully through the recorder.

Bouncing back to Mulder and the recorder, I LOVE that he’s like I’ve been looking for these aliens my whole life but what would I actually do if they showed up? Such an important question for him to ask, and he finds out real quick.

I love that when Scully finally shows up she doesn’t have much to do except wake him up and get him moving - but he would be soooo dead if she hadn’t showed up. He’s basically half out of his mind, and without her there to be like come on we gotta go, no we can’t take this dead body, no we don’t have time for the print outs, come on you can’t find proof if you’re dead - he would’ve never made it. So you know. Partner shit. Obsessed.

The car chase through the jungle was WILD. Some of the shots of that fucking truck bouncing around were so ridiculous but yeah I loved it. I had to wonder, how did they get on a plane after that? Did they just roll up to the airport in that truck and leave it there? Did they switch vehicles first? Change clothes? Use fake names? Like how covert did they have to be to get out of there. I had a thought midway through S1 that a fun fic series would be their plane rides/car rides home after each case and what they would talk about and that would certainly apply here.

Ok final scene in the basement. First of all, where the fuck are they that they’re in this janky dark room with the most disgusting looking sink behind them listening to surveillance tapes. Whatever I get it, Mulder’s in the FBIs doghouse but that room seemed excessively gross. The lighting tho? Peak as always.

I’ve still got my work - long pause - I still have you - I gasped - I still have myself. I LOVED this line. Because a) our boy is back, mostly. B) I love that he doesn’t look at her when he says I still have you, he’s futzing with the tape player thing, but her head snaps up toward him so fast. And c) when he says I still have myself, we know he has his confidence back. Trust no one, but trust your partner and trust yourself. It’s Mulder and Scully against the world baby, and I’m ready for it.

Again, not so mini review but there you have it. Cheers to s2!

[spooky-jordan]

Hi! I just got into the X Files (currently at S1E16) and I decided to check out S6E6 (How The Ghosts Stole Christmas) for the Halloween spookiness. I'm wondering how you feel about this episode, and if you agree with the ghosts' hot takes on Mulder and Scully's dynamic.

PS: I refuse to believe it's a Christmas episode. The location-shifting mindscrews and the gore (the floorboard scene and the gunshot wounds) alone makes this episode so harrowing to me. But it's such a great episode! Especially when Lyda comments that both Mulder and Scully are attractive. I cackled out loud when I heard that.

- 🌵

How the Ghosts Stole Christmas is one of my favourite episodes of the series so thanks for asking me this!!!

I mean, where to begin? I love the entire episode from start to finish - Mulder calling Scully on Christmas Eve to come and go ghost hunting with him (NOT for a case, just for funsies) is just so adorable and also a little sad. I love when Scully tries to get out of it to go be with her family, and she asks him doesn’t he have anywhere to be? And it’s just ugh 😩 it’s such a sad moment because we know that in fact, he does not. I’m mindful of saying too much because you’ve not seen the whole show, but yeah I dunno. I just think the entire conceit of the episode is equally funny and tragic.

I looove all the comedy. I love Mulder trying to spook Scully, Scully trying to rationalise her fear. One of my favourite moments is when they find the bodies under the floorboards and Scully realises the woman is wearing her clothes and Mulder just says “how embarrassing” - Duchovny’s delivery makes me cackle.

I think the ghost’s assessments of Mulder & Scully are definitely somewhat accurate - I mean, obviously we know that Mulder didn’t bring her out there because he subconsciously wanted to commit a murder/suicide 😂 but at this point in the series, their feelings for each other are definitely more than just platonic, and we’ve seen evidence for this in the episodes leading up to it and the first movie. I think the guy ghost (whose name escapes me) basically hit the nail on the head with some of what he says about Mulder - specifically his loneliness. Obviously the ghosts are trying to exacerbate these feelings to get them to kill each other, but I think they touched on something that was definitely already there. Mulder is a lonely guy. What else does he have but Scully and his X-Files? 💔

The resolution of the episode is great - Duchovny’s acting playing the ghost impersonating Mulder is so great, I love when Duchovny gets to play unhinged Mulder. The scene when they think they’ve both been shot and are just crawling around on the floor like a couple of slugs leaving imaginary blood trails behind them makes me cackle every time. And the moment of realisation when it clicks, Mulder understanding that they’ve been tricked, knowing he’d never have shot Scully and vice versa, and the shot of them running away from the house together into the fog. UGH. I love it all.

And then of course we get that beautiful final scene. Scully choosing to turn up at Mulder’s to exchange Christmas gifts, because she realises that’s where she wants to be. It’s just 😘 perfection. It’s a super fun, silly episode with a lot of poignant shit to say about Mulder and Scully and where they are at that point in their relationship. I love it a lot a lot!

[thursdayinspace]

Hi! :)

What are your top 10 MSR moments?

A comment you made yesterday made me curious.

oh man, how to choose? I don't know if I even can name a top 10. i did something similar a little while ago but it changes all the time and also I might be forgetting some . . . let's see. these are not in order. they're just all favorites. and I'm going to go with only moments where both are actually present.

the amor fati "my constant, my touchstone" speech + the forehead kiss. it is such a declaration of love. telling her, basically, that she's The One. no matter what happens. so many moments summarized in those few words: "you saved me," "my one in five billion," "now I can only trust you," etc.

the hallway speech in ftf. I mean. he tells her she's the most important person in his life. just . . . yeah. excuse me while I die a little from feelings.

I'm just going to cheat and roll all the kisses into one moment -- I could write a separate post about each one.

the baseball scene, I mean, come on, the two of them just having fun together, laughing, being cute?

combining two irresistible moments into one: when she tells him she wants to go back to washington to work from there, and he lets her walk away with her dignity intact by telling her that hey, more experienced agents have fallen apart on cases like this, and if she needs to talk he's there, but yeah, working from washington is actually a really good idea, she should do that! and then after they find her, she can let herself fall apart in front of him because he's already shown that he respects her. he offered himself as a safe place already and respected it when she wanted to handle things her own way. that episode is so pivotal to the development of their partnership and friendship.

in anasazi, when he thanks her for taking care of him. he sounds like he doesn't quite know how to say it, but it's important to him. he's not used to being taken care of like that, he's not used to being loved quite like that. what she does is pretty insane, shooting him in the shoulder and taking him on that crazily long drive afterwards while he's unconscious. she risks so much for him, with no ulterior motive.

"i wouldn't put myself on the line for anyone but you." when has he ever been that important to anyone? kind of goes with the moment above. he's not respected by his peers. people call him spooky. they laugh at his work and his beliefs. and here is this smart woman who could have a brilliant career, but she's willing to risk it all to work with him. and she doesn't even believe his theories. she just respects him, and *likes* him. she wants to be by his side. and he wants her around so much. how does that have to feel, to hear that not only is he respected, he's *wanted*?

"maybe i did want to be out there with you" from htgsc. after being told by the ghost that most people would rather stick their fingers in a wall socket than spend a minute with him. and here she is telling him that it's not true. she chooses him. she wants to spend time with him.

the two of them in plus one cuddled up on that bed/couch in the middle of the night. he's holding her and she's asking questions, testing the water, not sure where they stand anymore. she is still so afraid but she loves him. and he doesn't push. he is just *there*. he makes it so very clear that he will always be there. i have a lot of feelings about the quiet, patient way mulder loves in the revival. he will be what she needs, he just wants to be there for her and wants to be allowed to make her happy.

in detour, "i don't want to wrestle" and their whole conversation where they jump from funny to serious to funny just like that, just two good friends having a conversation. his head in her lap is cute and all, but i love the way they just *are* together. they're comfortable with each other.

there are so many more. i wanted to pick a hospital scene but there are too many. the ending of je souhaite is missing. milagro. the scene in the rain from the pilot. the phone call in sleepless "i'm surprised i put up with you so long." the various hugs and forehead kisses. but those are the ten that stood out to me right now. the list is neither good nor complete. this is difficult!

thoughts and opinions? does anyone else have a top ten? or top 500?

[benoitblanc]

1) top five favorite paragraphs/scenes/lines in your wips and 2) top 10 scully moments that live in your brain rent free?

haha mitali funny story i JUST found this in my inbox while doing another top 5/10 game. fml. sincere apologies these are such fun questions and i will be answering them out of order

top 10 scully moments that live in my brain rent free:

pusher russian roulette... never not thinking about pusher russian roulette...

kidnapping a man in black to do hostage negotiations for government-abducted mulder in deep throat. queen shit

the confrontation with boggs in beyond the sea

WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WANT ME TO DO ANOTHER AUTOPSY??? AND WHY DO I HAVE TO DO IT RIGHT NOW??? I JUST SPENT HOURS ON MY FEET DOING AN AUTOPSY ALL FOR YOU!!! I DO IT ALL FOR YOU, MULDER!!! YOU KNOW I HAVEN'T EATEN SINCE SIX O'CLOCK THIS MORNING AND ALL THAT WAS WAS HALF A CREAM CHEESE BAGEL, AND IT WASN'T EVEN REAL CREAM CHEESE, IT WAS LIGHT CREAM CHEESE!!! AND NOW YOU WANT ME TO RUN OFF AND DO ANOTHER AUTOPSY?????!?!!?!?!?!?!??!?!? ...what the hell happened to you?

her solving the case in clyde bruckman based on a tiny piece of scrap evidence... girl's good at her job

every time she interacts with children makes me want to throw up (affectionate)

PLEASE I'M A LITTLE ON EDGE!!!

going to jail instead of ratting mulder out in terma is possibly the most iconic thing she ever does. ride or fucking die bitch

wetwired... oughhhh wetwired...

please explain to me the scientific nature of the whammy

top 5 passages from my current wip are under the cut!

ask my top 5/10 anything!!!

so remember forever ago when i said i was going to write a scully it's a wonderful life fic. i... didn't do that. instead i started a mulder it's a wonderful life fic, because mulder hates his life more than she does, so it was logistically easier to plot. coming to an ao3 near you probably over the summer, if it's not categorically insane to post xmas fic over the summer.

in no particular order:

“All right, look, I didn’t want to have to do this, but here goes. Byers, your favorite film of all time is Return of the Jedi, which is insane because it’s clearly the worst Star Wars movie. Frohike, you prefer women’s socks because you think the material is higher quality. Langly, your college girlfriend was an Annie Lennox superfan named Eleanora, and the first time you slept together, you came all over her-” “All right, all right!” Langly interrupts, sounding panicked, and the door buzzes open.

They don’t exchange a word until they end up outside of Elizabeth’s, which is fighting for its life to present itself as a trendy, hipster little cafe but will likely go to its corporate buyout-induced grave as a greasy spoon. Scully likes Elizabeth’s because they have started offering floral drinks that smell like perfume and can’t, he imagines, taste much better. Mulder likes Elizabeth’s because no one else from the Bureau even knows it exists.

“Well,” he says. “I don’t think you’re spooky.” She stares at him for a moment, something unreadable in her eyes and the furrow between her brow that appears when she’s making a difficult decision. There are plump snowflakes caught in her eyelashes. “I don’t think you’re spooky either,” she says, and she closes the space between them on the bench and kisses him.

“Mulder,” Skinner says tersely, “if you’re calling me on Christmas Eve, somebody better be dead.”

“Dana,” he repeats. Two syllables that usually collect dust, except in times of deep distress. He makes a split-second decision. “I’m Fox.”

[oohnotvery]

Wherever Is Your Heart (Chapter 1)

PART I

Scully

It’s been a long time since Scully has felt this drunk. She hadn’t meant for it to happen, but the Bureau’s annual holiday party has been more fun and the champagne more free-flowing than she had anticipated. Plus, something about the way people are staring at her ass in this dress is giving her a boost of confidence she didn’t know she needed.  

She’s never quite lacked confidence in the way she looks, but lately, she’s cared far more about who’s looking. For most of her career, she’s operated under the assumption that despite the affection and camaraderie that they share, nothing would ever heat up between her and Mulder. Falling in love and jumping into bed together are too risky for a partnership like theirs.

But the attraction and chemistry and the he likes me/he likes me not that bubble just under the surface of their professional relationship have started to rise. Lately, in those quiet moments between cases—on long drives, while writing reports, when walking down the street with matching coffees—she’s been catching him staring. It’s happened often enough that it’s changed her calculation just slightly, tipping the scales in favor of he likes me. He hasn’t tried anything, exactly, but she doesn’t think she’s reading him wrong. Those long, lingering glances seem to be filled with a certain yearning that she’s never before noticed in his eyes.

So on nights like this, when she’s allowed to be as feminine, as divine, as lovely as possible, she takes the chance. Because maybe tonight’s the night that Mulder will finally make his move.

She knows she looks good. In her line of work, it is a rare thing to get to throw on a slinky black satin dress and a swipe of Dior’s famous Christmas-red lipstick. It is unusual to show as much skin as she is showing tonight, her full back exposed down to her sacrum, her breasts spilling out of the corseted top. It is special to be noticed—and not just for being Mrs. Spooky. 

But it’s ten p.m., and Mulder hasn’t bothered to show, that bastard. Even after she harassed him, harangued him, threatened him, bothered him, enticed him . . . he doesn’t turn up. 

In a haze of wine and whiskey, she decides she won’t let this night go to waste. She will revel in her beauty, her womanhood, her want. She will let loose and have fun. She will flirt and be flirted with. If Mulder isn’t going to make an effort, she won’t deny herself her own pleasure.

And so she drinks, letting first A.D. Skinner and then a stranger from accounting take her for a spin on the dance floor. Twinkly, starry lights swing from the ballroom’s chandeliers and light her skin with a warm glow. She basks in the attention of men she has never met filling up her wine glasses, of a handsome new special agent bringing her a bubbly sip of champagne.

“Agent Jacobs,” the man says by way of introduction, his bright blue eyes striking against his jet-black hair. He presses the flute into her fingers and smiles sweetly. Her lips lift into a satisfied grin as the sparkly feeling of champagne trips down her throat.

“Dana,” she replies coquettishly, already ready to give this stranger a chance at being on a first-name basis.

“Tyler,” he replies with an even wider smile, and she feels his hand warm the dip in her spine. “Care for a dance?”

His face tips close to hers and she feels the scratchy material of his wool suit scritch temptingly against her arm. She instantly wants to bury her face in it.

“Mhmm,” is all she can muster as alcohol drips through her system.

Time floats by without notice. One minute she is swinging with Tyler to a festive, upbeat song, her heels slipping and sliding gleefully against the floor; and the next, he is pressing her into his chest, gripping her hand tightly to his heart, whispering naughty, exciting things in her ear as a crooner sings an old-school melody.

“Let me take you home, Dana,” he whispers, his stubble raking deliciously across the soft skin of her cheek. There is nothing more intoxicating than a man who wants her back.

With half-lidded eyes, she begins to nod, because she wants to be touched, wants to be loved, and who better than this handsome man she’s never met, this man who’s paying her all the attention in the world, who’s making her feel wanted, special, adored?

Tyler grips the back of her head and she feels his lips pressing into the crown of her hair, and it feels so good to be treated like this, to be touched like this. She melts.

And then she feels fingers at her elbow, a gentle tug, a few quiet words, and Mulder comes into view.

His smile is warm but concerned, his expression tender but firm.

“Come on, party girl,” he murmurs in her ear, his arm draping possessively around her shoulders. “I’ll take you home.”

She blinks dopily up at him.

Oh, yes. Oh, yes. How could she have forgotten? Mulder. Mulder is going to take her home. Mulder, with his patient eyes and kind smile and delicious jawline. Mulder, with his heart only for mysteries and monsters. Mulder, with his brilliant mind and kissable lips.

Mulder wants to take her home.

“Mulder,” she says with a growing smile, all thoughts of Tyler forgotten, “you made it.”

He cocks his head at her and she runs her hands up his arms.

“Steady there,” he whispers conspiratorially, and when Tyler tries to butt in and explain himself, Mulder just tugs Scully into a private corner.

In some far-off recess of her mind, she hears Tyler calling after her that they should get drinks soon. With eyes only for Mulder, she doesn’t even acknowledge him.

In the corner of the ballroom, Mulder places a hand on her shoulder and with his other hand, tips her chin up to meet his eyes. He’s going to kiss her. She just knows it. She feels her eyelids growing heavy with want.

“You want to go home with that guy?” he asks, his brows furrowed.

She opens her mouth to reply, but the words come out garbled.

“Scully,” Mulder tries again, squeezing her shoulder a little. “Dana, Dana look at me.” Her eyes lift lazily to his. He’s so beautiful in his black Armani suit. She tells him so. His lips quirk into a quick smile. “Dana Scully,” he asks slowly, his face the picture of seriousness, “do you want to go home with Agent Jacobs?”

She shakes her head naughtily. “I want to go home with you,” she whines, tugging him closer by his bowtie. “Take me home with you.”

He chuffs a little laugh and nods. “Okay, Scully, then let’s go.”

She feels her knees buckle slightly at his words. He’s going to take her home. Finally. This is finally happening.

She doesn’t remember how they get back home, or why they’re at her home instead of his. It doesn’t matter. She stumbles through the door and turns to face him. His features are masked in the dim light of her apartment but she can see that he’s smiling slightly, almost like he’s enjoying seeing her like this. Well then. She has a lot more to show him.

“Come,” she says with a tug of his hand, and she drags him into her. When he bumps into her chest, she stretches her arms up over his shoulders and slings them around his neck, pulling him down for a hug.

He hugs her back but it’s only for a minute before he’s gently prying her arms off.

“Kiss me,” she hears herself say, but she’s not embarrassed because he brought her home. He took her away from Tyler for just this reason, to bring her home.

His eyes grow dark for a minute and then he’s laughing nervously and she hears him making excuses.

“I want you so bad,” she whispers as her hands fall to his belt. He yelps when she sloppily tugs at his trousers and her hands pass over his groin. “I want to taste you,” she slurs, dropping to her knees and pressing her face into his thighs.

“Oh—Scully, Scully,” he’s repeating over and over, and she feels his hands tugging at her biceps, first gently and then more roughly, until she’s being forced off the ground and held firmly at arms-length.

“Scully,” he says with a stern look, “you’re drunk,” he tells her, but she knows that. It doesn’t make any difference. I still want you, all the time, even when I’m sober. She may say that out loud, but she isn’t sure.

She feels him turning her around and marching her to her bedroom, lifting her in his arms when she refuses to walk. This is it. This is the moment. He’s going to throw her onto the bed and ravage her. She trembles a little with excitement but instead, he lays her down gently, then makes quick work of her shoes. He doesn’t even touch her beautiful dress or her heaving breasts.

“Touch me,” she whines again, pulling at the hem of her dress until it rides up to her waist. She’s wearing the tiniest G-string she owns and she watches as his eyes flit over her thighs quickly before red colors his cheeks.

“Scully. Jesus, stop,” he says firmly, yanking her dress back down.

A sour mood fills the room as she tries to read his expression. For years, she has catalogued every Mulder expression he’s ever made—profiler Mulder, investigator Mulder, comforter Mulder, Agent Mulder—but this . . . this one she doesn’t know. It’s something like exasperation and amusement and horror, all wrapped into one. Her alcohol-addled brain doesn’t know what to do with it.

He leaves the bedroom without a word and she closes her eyes for a moment, reveling in the spin of the room around her. When he comes back, he is carrying water, coffee, and aspirin, which he forces her to take before he will let her close her eyes again.

“I’ll be on the couch if you get sick,” she hears him telling her, and she feels a hand in her hair, petting her like she’s a dog.

“No,” she wants to say, “stay with me.” But her words are caught in the back of her throat, trapped there by alcohol and the heaviness of slumber.

She falls in and out of a restless sleep. When she gets sick, she barely makes it to the toilet, and she feels Mulder rushing in to hold her hair. Her dress twists around her waist as she retches on her knees.

Brushed teeth and a glass of water later, she is back in bed, but now she is fully awake. She knows she can’t be drunk anymore. Alcohol doesn’t last that long in the system, right? Something smart in the back of her brain tries to explain otherwise, to tell her that the effects of alcohol actually linger for quite some time, and certainly don’t disappear after two hours. But she traps that part of her intelligence away.

Convinced that she’s no longer drunk, she decides to try again.

Fumbling out of bed, she trips to the couch, where Mulder is staring listlessly at the T.V., his suit jacket thrown over the back of the chair, his Oxford shirt unbuttoned and untucked. He glances at her questioningly.

“You okay?” he asks, and she knows he wants her too. She felt it in the way he took her away from Tyler—so possessively.

She nods and hitches up her skirt, then throws her knee across his waist and straddles him. His eyes widen in shock and she grinds down on his lap.

“Fuck me,” she says as flirtatiously as possible, hoping her makeup still looks good, hoping she still smells nice. She drapes her arms across his shoulders and tangles her hands in his hair. This is how she always imagined it. Riding him like this without abandon.

His hands grip at her waist and yes, he wants this too.

But he’s holding her back from him, he’s telling her she’s drunk. But doesn’t he know that she’s not drunk anymore? She shakes her head and ignores the way the room spins when she does. She grinds down on him again and he holds her off again, pushing her from his lap. She loses her balance and starts to careen to the floor but he steadies her with strong arms at her back.

“I love you,” she tells him, because it’s true but also because maybe that will do the trick.

His eyes flit between hers for a long moment and she wonders if he’s making up his mind. “I love you,” she repeats more quietly.

“Scully,” he whispers, standing and lifting her with him. “Let’s get you back to bed.” Pain seems to cross his face and she frowns, shaking her head.

“No, no,” she pleads, “no.”

He nods more firmly, taking her by the arm and half-dragging, half-carrying her to her room.

“I’m going back to the couch, okay?” he tells her as he settles her back into bed, and she feels tears leaking traitorously down her cheeks. He brushes a thumb under her eyelids and more tears start to fall.

“You’ll be okay,” he tells her, before pressing a kiss to her forehead and leaving the room.

She cries herself to sleep.

[scullysexual]

It Happened One Night (4/?)

Scully is an escort who is hired by Mulder because he is going through a divorce and may lose his kid. It was supposed to be one night, they were never supposed to meet again, yet fate has other plans for them.

.:.:.:.:.:.

I don't even know where the other chapters are on this site so if you want to read from the beginning you'll have to go to ao3 for it. I can't promise that it won't be another year for the next chapter because this fic terrifies me if im honest but I'll try (and ignore everything else in the process) Also I know nothing about the FBI so that's that. Enjoy.

ao3 | @today-in-fic

Four.

“Dana!” A familiar voice calls out to her in the auditorium.

Dana looks up to see Ellen waving at her amidst the sea of seats. She brushes past a congregation of people, making her way towards her friend and sitting down beside her. As the only two females this year, Dana and Ellen had bonded immediately, a friendship forming not so soon after. It didn’t make sense otherwise.

“Did you check your emails?” Ellen asks her.

“No. Emily wouldn’t go to school so I didn’t have time to check. Why?”

“Agent Banks is sick,” Ellen says with a roll of her eyes. “So we’re getting a cover until he comes back.”

That doesn’t surprise Dana- the man was about 90 years old anyway.

“Did it say who?”

“I didn’t get that far but I heard the guys say it’s someone called Spooky. Do you have any idea?”

Dana shrugs but based on that nickname she didn’t have high hopes about them. In any case at least she could count on no arguments for the time being; Agent Banks liked to pick on her especially.

“Anyway, where were you on Saturday?” Ellen asks, moving on. “Me and Candice waited for you but you didn’t show. What happened to being more social?”

Dana internally groans. That was this Saturday. Dana had completely forgotten about her plans with Ellen, she was too busy having the best orgasm of her life that night. Of course Ellen didn’t know about that.

“Emily…Emily wasn’t feeling well,” she lies. Dana hated using her daughter as an excuse but she couldn’t exactly tell her the truth.

“Right,” says Ellen, not sounding completely convinced. “I think it’s about time we got you a babysitter.”

“Yeah, I’ll look into one…” Dana half agrees but only to move away from the topic.

Voices in the auditorium quieten down as everyone finds their seats and gets comfortable. The door to the side opens and there’s a murmur of voices and gasps. Dana isn’t paying attention, too busy arranging her pens in the colour of the rainbow. It’s only when she feels Ellen tap her arm and buzz excitedly, “It’s him. He’s Spooky. Dana, look…” Does Dana look up to see what the commotion was about.

And honestly, she wished she hadn’t.

In fact, at that moment, she wished she wasn’t in the academy at all.

Because the person who was making her classmates and friend coo with excitement was the very person who had given her a fantastic orgasm the night before.

.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.

It amazed Mulder just how neutral he could become when a thousand thoughts and feelings where running through his body. Confusion, surprise, excitement, happiness, and even anger all swirled within him at once and yet his face betrayed none of it. He was stoic, slightly rumpled from having his usual bout of no sleep and unprepared to actually teach a class full of future FBI agents, but still standing nonetheless when all he wanted to do was leave and never come back.

Somehow the universe was in his favour and somehow it wasn’t. In a sea of indistinguishable males she stood out like the perfect ruby. There was no denying who she was. He’d bet his gun and badge that when he looked at the roster he’d see her name in there. The woman he hadn’t stopped thinking about since Saturday night. Just why did it have to be here of all places.

Mulder tries to ignore it, ignore her, to focus on the male portion of the room but his eyes are drawn to her, seeing red hair in his peripheral standing out against all the grey. He fumbles through his slides, tries to focus on what he is actually here to do, to explain profiling, but his brain is a jumbled mess and of course he fucks up the date of imprisonment of a serial killer he helped to catch in front of everyone, in front of her, just like a buffoon…

He thinks he got away with it, thinks nobody noticed but a voice speaks up from the right-hand corner, loud and clear, unmistakably her.

“1989,” she says with an emphasis on the wrong number. “Ian Lucas Gates was imprisoned in 1989, he committed his first murder in 1987.”

“Perhaps you’d like to come up and teach the class then, Agent Scully, seeing as you know everything.”

It was an outburst. An unnecessary outburst that has Mulder biting his tongue and wishing to take it all back. The rest of the class murmurs amongst themselves, looking wearily from one person to the next. Mulder chances a glance at Scully who stares back at him with a glare that could kill him on the spot if it had the power to.

“Perhaps I will, Agent Mulder, seeing as I know more than you,” she counters.

Someone coughs to disguise a laugh as Scully waits for his reply. The room was stifling with tension and he doesn’t miss the way the woman next to her is continuously looking back and forth between them.

This isn’t the time, Mulder thinks. He switches off the projector and looks at the time, thankful for the class to almost be over.

“Collect your work sheets on the way out,” he says to them knowing they wouldn’t begrudge a 10 minute early dismissal.

They raise to their feet in a matter of seconds, chairs scraping back, bags being collected, a small chatter starting to form. Mulder turns his back to them all, fussing with some papers on the desk for something to do, mortified at himself for snapping at her like that. It was a mess. A big mess. And he had four weeks of this shit.

Scully and her other only female classmate are the last to leave. He should let them leave and next time he’ll do a better job at pretending he doesn’t know her.

But he does know her. More than probably anyone else in the room does and it’s that that wins out.

“Scully,” he gently calls. She stops in her tracks, as does her friend. “A word. Please?”

Her friend looks at them with suspicion.

“It’s fine,” says Dana. “I’ll catch up with you.” Once the other woman is gone Scully turns. The anger on her face almost knocks him down, he wasn’t expecting it. Meekly, he makes his way to the door, closing and locking it. Once it’s just the two of them all pretences drop.

“What the fuck was that?” she bites, referencing their little moment. “And why are you here?”

“Why am I here? Why are you here?” He wasn’t going to start with this. He wanted to go in slowly. He’s found her! In the worst possible place but he’s still found her and he finds himself giddy over the realisation. He softens slightly. “You said you were studying science.”

But Scully was still angry. “Well I can’t exactly say I’m training to be an FBI agent, can I? Besides, I didn’t see you being honest about this.”

He shakes his head. “I thought you already knew.”

“No, I—” She starts to go red and looks away and it dawns on Mulder just what has gone wrong here.

“You didn’t do your homework before we met…” he says.

She sighs still looking away from him. “Charlotte said there was nothing to worry about.”

“Who the fuck is Charlotte?”

“Kind of like my manager, sort of…She runs the…” she reddens even more. “Agency. When I told her I didn’t have time to look into you she did and she said nothing about you being FBI so…”

“I think you need to fire her, or…or move onto to another agency because she sucks. You’re lucky it was me.”

Scully scoffs. “Oh am I?”

“Yes. Because if it was anyone else here you’d be out, Scully. Do you understand that?”

She says nothing but the anger lessens slightly.

“So what came first, the agency or the academy?”

“They sort of…happened at the same time.”

“Why?”

The anger that had lessened ever so slightly comes back full force.

“Why should I tell you? You think just because you got to fuck me one night that you suddenly get to know the ins and outs of my life? You can get to fuck, many men have had that privilege and I don’t see them questioning my choices so why should you get to?”

Mulder sighs. This conversation was a rollercoaster and not going exactly how he planned, what little planning he’d done in the first place.

“You’re all I’ve thought about for two days,” he admits.

“Well now you’re just being fucking weird.”

Mulder sighs again. “I’m being serious. I’ve been wanting to find you since then but not through the agency and not by paying $300 to pretend.” He reaches out to grab her hand then thinks better of it, lacing his own hands together to keep them from touching hers. “That night was different for you, too, right?”

Scully shifts on her feet, crossing her arms, saying nothing.

“I’m just trying to protect you, Scully. I’ve seen your work and out of all of them you have the biggest chance here. I don’t want to see it ruined.”

“So why are you being a dick about it?”

“I’m sorry, it’s just…I care about you and, shit…I’m your instructor.” He wipes his hands over his face.

“You really feel that way?” she asks.

“Oh yeah.”

She moves closer to him, reaching out to take his hand. His heart gets stuck somewhere up his throat, his stomach doing somersaults. What are you doing? he wants to ask her.

“It’s just for 4 weeks, right? You being here?” He nods not daring to speak. “And then you go off to…whichever department you belong to.” He nods again. “So we can wait.” She isn’t looking at him. “And reassess in 4 weeks?”

“We’ll reassess in 4 weeks,” Mulder croaks, throat dry.

“Okay.” She squeezes his hand before dropping it. “I need to go pick up my daughter now.”

She starts backing away, making her way towards the door. She’s almost out of it when he calls for her again.

“Scully? I’m sorry for what happened in class. I shouldn’t have attacked you like that.”

She leans against the door, smiling and Mulder is so happy to see that smile again.

“I’m used to it. Agent Banks grills me all the time in here.”

Mulder makes a face. “Agent Banks is your instructor here?”

“Unfortunately. And I think he hates women.”

“Oh unfortunately he does. But from what I hear the man is on his deathbed so…”

She smiles again. “I won’t say what I was going to say.” She looks at him again, softer this time, like she did that night. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Mulder.”

“See you tomorrow.”

He still smiling to himself when she’s gone, finally basking in the giddiness of seeing her again. Four weeks. He just needs to survive these four weeks and then maybe…

The door opens again and it’s her, muttering a string of sorries as she reaches for a work sheet before disappearing once more. The door clicks shut and she is gone.

Until tomorrow.

[all-eyes-lead-to-the-truth]

All Eyes Lead to the Truth | Unrequited (4x16)

The Bureau’s briefing tent, pitched just outside of the crowded Vietnam War Memorial, bustles with agents and military personnel. The roar of excited veterans around them rises as the tent’s flap bursts open and Agent Mulder enters.

Special Agent Kent Hill is not a nosy man. But when the man nicknamed Spooky strides across the tent with purpose, Hill ignores his fellow agents strategizing beside him to watch Agent Mulder relay information to his partner. His very pretty, very short partner. 

Hill frowns, recalling how A.D. Skinner had assigned each agent into individual sectors to guard General Bloch against the ex-POW Teager. Hill is stuck in Sec-3: the smallest and arguably less populated sector, while Agent Scully is assigned to Sec-4: the largest, most occupied sector that will prove difficult to navigate with her short stature. Hill had stupidly mumbled that aloud as the group scattered, only to get a sharp glare from Agent Mulder that could cut glass. 

General Bloch suddenly slams the telephone down on the table next to Hill and stomps over to A.D. Skinner. “Look, I can’t wait around here any longer. I’m delivering a keynote speech in five minutes.”

“You might want to reconsider,” his A.D. suggests, and Hill agrees. They’ve already failed to prevent two generals from looking like Swiss cheese, and standing on stage in front of thousands of professionally trained shooters is a terrible idea. 

“He won't reconsider,” Agent Mulder shoots back. “Not going out there would be an admission of guilt.”

Hill’s eyes practically pop out of his head. No one can say Spooky doesn’t have balls. 

General Bloch stiffens. “It's your job to protect me still, isn't it?” 

“That's what we're trying to do,” his boss insists.

“Then do your job,” the general sneers as he flees the tent.

“General!” A.D. Skinner scoffs, seemingly as frustrated as the rest of his agents trying to keep at least one general alive. “All right, people, listen up because we don't have much time here! You all know your responsibilities. You have your sectors and your assignments. If Teager’s here, I want to know immediately.”

Hill watches their A.D. race after the general and runs a hand down his five o’clock shadow, catching Agents Mulder and Scully out of the corner of his eye as they move toward one another like magnets. 

He’s seen the two of them together before. Has watched them stand much too close and touch much too often, observed their odd connection from afar. But Hill can’t seem to get enough of how soft they speak to each other, how intense they look at one another, how they stand a hair's breadth apart like it’s nothing.

“Mulder,” Agent Scully tugs at his suit sleeve. “You really think this is a setup?”

Hill slides in his earpiece, watching as their eyes lock. His wife would call it eavesdropping, but as he steps closer, tilting his head just right to better hear their hushed voices, Hill simply calls it satisfying a long-standing curiosity. 

“That’s what I was told, and I believe it.”

“So are you going to tell me where you got this information?” Agent Scully huffs.

Her partner shrugs. “A source.”

“Who?” She arches a brow, runs her tongue across her teeth. “Or is that classified like the rest of this case?”

Agent Mulder has the decency to look chagrined. 

“Of course not,” his voice dips along with his head. “But I’d rather not say her name here.”

“Her?” Agent Scully folds her arms across her chest, her jaw working as she lets the silence ooze like molasses. Hill knows he’s openly gawking at this point, but doesn’t care. Their body language reminds him of his wife’s daytime drama shows. 

“Teager is here, Scully, hiding in plain sight,” Agent Mulder deflects, and Hill doesn’t blame him. He can see the man’s sweat stippling across his brow from here. “We’ll work together and you’ll catch this guy. Simple,” he says with a sly smirk. 

Agent Scully rolls her eyes. “Mulder, nothing about working with you is simple.”

An unbidden snort bursts through Hill’s nostrils at that. Both agents unfold their arms and tandemly take a step apart. 

Hill clears his throat. “Looks like you’re in the sector next to me, Agent Scully-” 

“Scully,” she interjects.

“Huh?”

“Just Scully is fine.” She nods toward her partner. “And him, just Mulder.”

Hill smirks. “Same here, even my wife calls me Hill.” They smile and he feels himself blush. “We’d better get out there, Scully. It’s starting.”

Hill stops at the tent’s door while holding the flap open for Scully to exit next and sees Mulder grasp her hand within his. She stares up at him, and after a moment, squeezes his hand right back. 

Several minutes and multiple attempts to apprehend Teager fly by. Hill shoves his way through the throng of veterans slowly moving toward the stage, trying to chase down a goddamn ghost. 

“Don’t take your eyes off him, Scully,” Mulder warns. That’s easier said than done. The guy is there one second and gone the next. 

Hill adjusts his earpiece as the crowd cheers.

General Bloch continues speaking, riling up the masses. It’s loud and nearly impossible to track anyone. Hill spots a red flash of Scully’s hair and runs up to where she stands, looking as confused as he feels. 

“I can't see him anywhere,” Hill tells her, just as General Bloch gets ushered from the stage. 

The agents follow, guns drawn, and the next several seconds happen in a blink of an eye: Teager’s hiding in the general’s car, shooting as everyone ducks and dives along the dirt. Mulder yells and Hill jumps in front of the moving car, firing off four shots that jar his bones. 

Teager flops out of the door, blood spurting from his mouth. Hill scrunches his eyes shut, guilt seeping in as the suspect takes his last breath. 

Teager, Nathaniel J. Sergeant, Green Beret detachment B-11, is dead.

Read the Rest of All Eyes Lead to the Truth on Archive of Our Own!

@monikafilefan

[sbpstudios]

i wanna talk about some October appropriate story concepts that have been knocking around in my brain between other things. nothing has names yet and i haven't done much doodling but it's in a crock pot in my brain.

the basic idea came to me when thinking about medias like monster high and monster prom. those monster mash stories. i thought "i love this stuff! i wanna Do That." and i ended up with like, a main cast i wanna have us follow with other ghouls showing up as supporting cast.

the main cast i imagine will be made up of-

the daughter of one of those agent mulder type guys. the sort that's like "aliens, cryptids and ghosts could be real. the world is already so fucking weird.". neither the girl or her dad are spooky in of themselves but they sure do fuck around and find out.

the daughter of a retired slasher killer (in the model of someone like Jason Voorhees <3). you can tell she's her father's daughter in build and vibe, built like a brick shit house and with a resting "snap you in half like a stick" face. they're both kinda out of touch with people since they mostly stick to their cabin in the woods. but with the daughter getting some actual friends that's slowly starting to change somewhat.

the daughter of a monster hunter. girl has been raised too do the Family Business since the day she could follow her dad's orders. they live in a- pretty much bunker in the woods where her dad has been putting her through training from hell for years. she does NOT start off the nicest but the whole point of her is that one CAN unlearn what they've been taught by family. they just need the opportunity to take that first step.

a witch girl who's stepdad has been trying and failing to connect with her. largely because she does not like the fact that her family is trying to replace her old dad who's no longer with us. girl is this close too going off to do necromancy but in the mean time she's really fucking around and finding out. in true magic bitch fashion.

and then finally, an escaped lab rat of a girl. the lab was going under and she was given an out. i haven't settled on if she's currently living with an ex employee who wasn't one of the lab coats testing on her, who just took pity on her. or if she's been hiding out with someone completely unrelated to the lab who couldn't bring themself to leave her without a roof over her head. but regardless, much of her vibe is just- learning how to be a Person, and the lasting echos of her time in the lab. and the person who sponsored her making wanting his product back...

and that's like, our main cast! i went for more- Human kinds of spooky gals for this because aaa- i wanted too. but we'll get stuff like werewolves and what not in the supporting cast! the world is spookier then you think after all!

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s5 episode 12 thoughts

oh man. i think i’ve heard that this episode is a favorite among the fans. i also think that scully hooks up with a vampire in this one? because that got brought up in that one post i made about 3 a while back. curious to see if i misinterpreted that comment or if this is actually going to happen.

well! no time like now to find out!

the description mentions recounting their version of events… i LOVED that part of jose chung, so i really cannot wait to see what happens here :D

post episode note: not sure if there has ever been a lower words to "LMAOOO" ratio in my note taking history, so i will do my best to make this comprehensible, but i had so much fun watching this :D

man, i'll need to remake my top episodes list at some point... but it might stretch into top 20 or 25!!!

ohh, i wonder what the top 20 most beloved episodes by the whole fandom are...?

we begin with some very dramatic spooky music as this kid runs around in texas, calling for help, followed by someone who is very very fast!!! this guy is going to kill this poor kid!!!! why is he running into the woods??? not a great place to go when you need to escape someone!!!

bigger guy is on top of the little one and OH!! he shoves a stake through his heart!!

IT’S MULDER DOING THE STAKING??

scully finds him over the body of the dead kid… and the kid has fangs!!!! BUT THEY’RE FAKE!!!

DID MULDER JUST KILL THIS KID????????

WHAT THE FUUUCK?!?! WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE 

my face at this exact moment:😳😳😳

the intro was shortened... I ALWAYS NOTICE

okay, so now mulder is at his desk. scully walks in looking very very very tense. as if he just killed a child, perhaps. she carefully sits down. 

“mulder…” “don’t. don’t even start with me” LMAO WHAT??? she is gagged and also making the same face as me 😳😳

(i couldn't tell what the tone of this episode was at the time, but now that i think about "don't. don't even start with me" i am CACKLING)

he throws a paper into his garbage can, which is surrounded by other thrown papers, and then starts KICKING IT??? she’s watching with a very “wtf” expression going on 

IT’S TOO EARLY FOR ME TO FIGURE OUT THE TONE HERE, WTF 

he is defeating the evil of that trash can, though.

ohhh no, skinner wants their report in ONE HOUR!!! scully is trying to be very pragmatic here.

they both clarify that they are going to say exactly what they saw, but he says “i got to know if you’re going to back me up or what” because he’s the one that might be going to prison!!! no pressure. 

she adjusts her sitting position angrily: “first of all, if the family of ronnie strickland does indeed decide to sue the FBI for, i think the figure is $446 million, then you and i will most certainly be codefendants. and second of all… i don’t even HAVE a second of all, mulder” <- LMAOOO i’m HOWLING! SHE’S AT A LOSS FOR WORDS. JUST FILLED WITH FURY

“i’m in this as deep as you are, and i’m not even the one that overreacted!! i didn’t do the… with the thing!!” <- SHE CANNOT EVEN SAY IT, SHE CAN ONLY MAKE VAGUE GESTURES BAHAHAAA

he says that she needs to tell her story the way she saw it… and she replies that she doesn’t feel comfortable with that (queen of expressing boundaries!)

however, mulder counters that they’re facing the threat of prison, and that scully's cellmate will be named "large marge" and read lots of gertrude stein (oh god. that’s out of pocket, mulder!)

((this man makes far too many prison assault remarks. i understand that he is in a stressful situation. but still!))

he begins recording her version of the story…

“yesterday morning, when i arrived at work, you were… uh… characteristically exuberant” <- i’m crying, that is SUCH a perfect description of him. i have half a mind to change my url to that. but surely it has already been taken.

"HOPE YOU BROUGHT YOUR COWBOY BOOTS! YEEHAW", he says, slamming down plane tickets to texas on the desk <- LMAOOOOO she remembers him as a nonstop yapper, which is mostly accurate 

(absolutely crying at the yeehaw in retrospect)

he won’t shut up or let her talk, he's too locked into these images of dead cows LMAOO “is there any sign of-" “two small puncture wounds in the neck?” “that’s not what i was going to ask” “too bad, we’ve got ‘em” <- i am actually giggling at this. she sees him as constantly over-caffeinated, and i love that

NOT THE CHUPACABRA SLANDER LMAOO “no, they got four fangs, not two, and they suck goats, hence the name” <- YOU TELL HER MULDER ‼️

(that episode is one of the worst, so i think the combination of light acknowledgement of that fact and allowing mulder to flex his encyclopedic memory of cryptids with the manner of a child who got into way too much sugar is frankly iconic)

and he casually adds there is one dead human, prompting her outraged “well why the hell didn’t you tell me that from the beginning?” but he’s already out the door LMAOOO

okay, i cannot stop laughing even though this episode may be about mulder murdering a child. such is the nature of this TV program.

they’re going to investigate the body deep in the heart of texas… and is that romantic music playing when this sheriff hartwell enters??? and she remembers mulder SNAPPING at her while he introduces them as if he cannot remember her name!!

(as if mulder could forget her name... scully i'm calling your bias out there)

mulder tells her to "MOVE YOUR LITTLE LEGS" LMAOOO???

now the sheriff and her are very close as he eagerly agrees to all of her ideas (that the killer was not a real vampire, but someone so obsessed with vampire movies that he wished to emulate them) and mulder watches, suspiciously

LMAOOOO MULDER CALLS HER STORY OUT BACK IN THE PRESENT WHEN SHE SAYS THE SHERIFF USED HER NAME “dana?!?! he never even knew your first name!” (angry scully look) “you going to interrupt me, or what?” “no, go ahead… dana” 

(saw a post the other day that was like "they get to call each other dana or fox once each calendar year" and it's so true because it sounds so wrong when he says it in this context)

this point is where mulder makes his discovery: the dead man’s SHOES are UNTIED!

yeah, idk what that means either.

SHE KEEPS SMILING AT THIS SHERIFF HARTWELL LMAO. DOWN BAAAD.

mulder is pondering… “sheriff, do you have an old cemetery in town, off the beaten path, the creepier the better?”

it is so funny to think that all of these events are through the lens of scully's mind because she sees him as so fucking weird and spooky. both of which are true.

LMAOOO mulder says she must do a full autopsy! “what am i even looking for?” (he grabs her shoulders and leans in) “i don’t know”

LMAOOOO okay, so back before i even thought about watching this show, i saw that gifset on my main and i reblogged it with the caption “man. i’m going to have to watch this show, aren’t i?”, and here we are. so this feels very full circle to have finally seen it

poor scully has had an autopsy thrust upon her :(

scully is totally smitten with this guy though, oh my god…..

(i truly cannot figure out her type. mulder, jerse, esther, and this guy? what is the common ground?! between mulder and esther there was the whole "incredibly intelligent" thing, but the other two?? just like?? dark hair?? idk!)

autopsy time… she's talking into her little voice recorder about the dead man “who is arguably having a worse time in texas than i am. although not by much” LMAOOO

(i wonder if she really did get that candid in her recording, or if she is just being dramatic in her retelling of the tale. i assume she only records herself for the sake of writing the reports, so maybe she is free to say whatever it is that crosses her mind, in which case i would like to listen in)

NOOO, her blade falls out before she can begin and she sadly yeehaws 

(god. a sad scully yeehaw. i used to pray for days like these)

time to weight all the organs. UGH the intestines are all slippery!!!

he had pizza in his stomach. LMAO THE MUSHROOMS SOUND GOOD TO HER BAHAHA SHE IS SO STRANGE

back to the present moment- our agents can’t agree on the name of the motel they stayed in, which is not promising for the rest of their stories aligning 

you can put two quarters in the bed and make it jiggle? this is news to me! and this is just what scully does!

an angry and dirty mulder appears just as she begins this process!

ohhh, the dead guy had lots of sleeping drugs in his system… and her voice is all funny because she is jiggling while she says this… she thinks the “vampire” gave the guy the drugs. meanwhile, mulder is not elaborating on his very dirty appearance!

NOOOO there’s another dead tourist and she has to do another autopsy!!! “i just put money in the magic fingers :(“ AWWW POOR SCULLY 

(why couldn't that wait until tomorrow!?!!)

he says he won’t let it go to waste and IS HE GOING TO CLIMB IN ALL DIRTY??? LMAOO NOOOO

the subtitles point out that he is “laughing mischievously” which escalated to “cackling”… what is this man planning!!! he takes pleasure in dirtying her jiggling bed!!

(regardless of the accuracy of if it really happened in such a manner, it’s sad to see how taken advantage of scully feels by him 🙁)

she sadly leaves after telling him not to get mud everywhere 

NOOOO the pizza guy just got there :( BAHAHA she wanted pizza after autopsying that guy… well she is going to make “the guy in there” pay for it. serves him right!!!

OH! the pizza guy is the vampire kid!!!!!!!

she’s soooo sleepy as she does the second autopsy…. ANOTHER NASTY SLIPPERY LARGE INTESTINE

she is going to fall asleep like this!!!!!!

then she gets a phone call that is just heavy breathing. so she hangs tf up!!! 

this dead guy has pizza in him too!!!! OH.... she realizes the chloral hydrate must be in the pizza!! and it must be the pizza guy who is the killer!! and oh no, mulder!!!

scully bangs down the door to her motel room and mulder isn’t visible….  just the creepy pizza kid!!!! she fires a bunch of shots at him, but he runs away!!

so mulder was drugged… and he says some very weird stuff about "shaft" that i don’t wish to unpack. hearing of this makes present mulder gasp and exclaim “i did not!” and yeah, i don’t even want to know <3

(a lot of times i google stuff i don’t understand due to not being alive in the 90’s. this one? i shall not google it. i am not a fool. i recoginzed Enough of those words to know i don't need to know)

she missed the pizza kid with her first four shots which is rare for her, ran after him, leaving poor drugged mulder behind, but somehow, mulder caught the kid before she did, where he... “overreacted”

damn. he's a track star even when drugged.

she argues that they can tell skinner they caught a killer, and that mulder's zeal was due to the drugging, which i think is a fine story.

but mulder is pissed! “you are afraid to tell the truth. that’s not the way it happened at all!” OHHH, I CANNOT WAIT TO GET HIS VIEW

“yesterday morning began like any other morning; you arrived at the office, characteristically less than exuberant” LMAOOOOOO BE NICE TO HER!!!

he remembers his explanations being very slow and gentle and her reactions being very sassy AND I’M LAUGHING AT HER “AND?” LMAOOOOO

she’s just LOOKING AT HIM and he doesn’t know wtf to do BAHAHA AND HE IS SOOO CAREFUL TO USE “APPARENTLY” and “VAMPIRE-LIKE” IN HIS DESCRIPTIONS OF THE ATTACKS LMAOOOO

he ends his very cautious assessment that this attack was "vampire-like" in nature by telling her ���but as always, i’m very eager to hear your opinion” <- THAT DID NOT HAPPEN YOU LYING BASTARD!! YOU HAVE NEVER SAID THAT ONCE LMAOOOO

“well it’s obviously not a vampire” “well, why not?” “because they don’t exist?” <- BAHAHA that is ANOTHER GIFSET I SAW BEFORE I DECIDED TO WATCH THIS SHOW!! oh man, so this one really must be a fan favorite if i saw two scenes from it before i even started watching 

“well… that’s one opinion, and i respect that” <- BAHAHAHAAAA YOU LIAR!!!

so they go down to the funeral home where he points out the plentiful caskets- unusual for such a small town. scully had tuned out at this point. and you know what? can you blame her?

HE REMEMBERS THE SHERIFF AS HAVING HUGE BUCK TEETH THAT MAKES HIM HARD TO UNDERSTAND which present scully DENIES bahaha ohhh he’s jealous and she is gaaazing at sheriff hartwell and smiling and oh my god, mulder is so jealous 

he’s monologing on the nature of vampires but scully shoots this down

“there are as many kinds of vampires as there are cultures that fear them” <- ohhh nerd. NERD!!! nerdy thing to say.

she’s yawning as he talks about red hair being an indication of vampirism, gesturing to her, which happened in an AU fic i actually did briefly read once and would like to see explored in greater detail. i'm a sucker for fic or art with the "skeptic is actually a monster" trope

he is now at the cemetery with the sheriff, whose country accent has increased greatly between the agent's perspectives

cemeteries are a haven for vampires, “as are castles, catacombs, and swamps”, mulder points out, and i'm writing that down ✍️ 

he remembers this sheriff as being incredibly stupid. ohhh, the pizza guy pulls up at the cemetery!!! he waves hello and then drives off.

so they staked out the cemetery. fun times.

she wants to know why he cared so much about the corpse’s shoelaces, but he just looks at his OWN shoes lmaooo and says he’s getting to it 

he was leaving sunflower seeds for the vampires at the cemetery, because all vampires are obsessive compulsive. they must untie knots and count seeds. which is why he thinks the shoelaces were untied. fascinating bit of vampire lore.

but they must go to the RV camp, where there is a situation. ronnie the pizza guy is here!! there’s an RV that’s spinning around. 

mulder doesn’t want to talk about shooting out the tires... what is this man HIDING!! 

well, it turns out it is very hard to shoot the tires of a moving RV... so HE GRABBED ON THE BACK AND WAS SPUN AROUND IN CIRCLES BAHAHA WHYYYYY WAS THAT HIS NEXT COURSE OF ACTION?!?!?

finally, they manage to stop the damn thing. and inside the RV was a dead guy!!!! with puncture marks on his neck and untied shoes!!! gasp!!

when he returns back to the motel, he remembers scully yelling at him because she has to do another autopsy, saying “i do it all for you, mulder!” (which is CRAZY!) and that she hasn’t eaten since 6 that morning, and she only had a bagel, and it wasn’t even REAL CREAM CHEESE!!!

listen!! can you blame her for being furious?? she just paid for the magic fingers!!!

he remembers her leaving as being a great relief, and her SLAMMING THE DOOR SO HARD THE PAINTING SHOOK ON THE WALL BAHAHAHA

aww, he sees himself as the poor little victim…. bro. you MAY have had it rough with getting dragged around by an RV, but in her defense 1. that was your faulty idea and 2. it probably was still not as bad as having to do 2 autopsies on an empty stomach

he goes to get in the shower. ohhh hello. that is a man who is emerging scantily clad.

now ronnie the pizza guy is here, and mulder is saying that he will pay for the tasty food. not knowing it contains the sleepy stuff!

he opens up the pizza and sighs with relief: “ah, scully” <- oh, so you think she has good taste in pizza toppings? that’s hilarious 

“so, i ate your dinner” <- okay, well at least he’s honest about that!! a grown man on the vibrating bed, noticing his shoes were untied…. and the drugging is taking place!! this is instant karma for such a pizza thief!!

he tries to call scully, but only groans into the phone…. then ronnie returns

BAHAHA he recalls scully calling the voice on the phone a creep <- well, you can’t really blame her!!!!!! 

ronnie is here, and his eyes glow and he has fangs… but the inebriated mulder manages to toss his sunflower seeds on the ground, thwarting ronnie the vampire slash pizza guy's plan!! which prompts him to say “aw man!” (LMAOOOOO) and then mulder's back out in sleepy land… 

when he comes to, scully is bursting in the door, and she shot ronnie TWO TIMES IN THE CHEST!!! to no effect!!!

scully is shocked at this recollection: “and then he sort of flew at me like a flying squirrel?” BAHAHA

so, she runs after ronnie into the woods, while mulder breaks a chair leg to make a stake… and bam. the "overreaction".

scully points out that no one will believe that story, but he says they will have to when they examine ronnie’s body

(i think it's very funny/sweet that scully does not remember being able to shoot ronnie, but mulder remembers her aim being perfect and that it was simply ineffective because you cannot kill vampires with bullets. not sure whose perspective is the objective truth, but it's adorable he remembers her being a great aim)

someone else is examining ronnie now. what shall he find??? bleh, he takes the stake out! nasty nasty!!! what if ronnie gets up and runs away??

OH RONNIE *IS* GETTING UP!!!! and his eyes are set on this coroner!!!! he attacks!!!

poor scully and mulder are waiting for skinner… she tries for fix his tie, but he shoos her away!!! so rude!!! there is no gesture more loving than the adjustment of a necktie!!

she asks him to keep reminding skinner that he was drugged, which ALSO pisses mulder off. BUT IS SHE WRONG??? IT WILL GO A LONG WAY!!

THEN WHEN SKINNER COMES IN HE STANDS STRAIGHT UP AND ANNOUNCES “I WAS DRUGGED” <- LMAOOOOOO

(i laughed so hard at this that i accidentally hit the pause button, and i’m looking at mulder's expression and scully watching him, and there are TEARS in my eyes)

skinner sighs deeply…. and says they have to go back to texas!! ronnie’s body is gone, and the coroner was attacked!! his throat was “sort of… gnawed on” LMAO?????

“but… he was dead” “i noticed that” (mulder is doing his slutty hands on hips while thinking pose)

so they’re back out to the yeehaw cemetery. why would a real vampire need fake fangs? well, mulder answers, the fangs of vampires are rarely mentioned in folklore!

“i think maybe you were right before when you said that this is just a guy who’s watched too many dracula movies. he just happens to be a real vampire” <- BAHAHAAAA I SMACKED MY CHEST I LAUGHED SO HARD AT THIS

scully sighs deeply. average scully reaction.

the sheriff pulls up!!! she turns to him and points at her teeth, indicating that to mulder that his teeth are NORMAL LMAO 

GASP... HE LEAVES AND SAYS THE SHERIFF SHOULD STAY WITH HER… THEN HE PUTS HIS HAND ON HER SHOULDER AND SAYS “don’t say i never did anything for you” OH MY GOD?

mulder was so jealous before and now he is leaving her with this man... what does this say about him!!!

he’s off to the RV park, and scully is here to share some coffee with this sheriff. 

woah, he asks her about vampires….. and she says they’re supposed to be charming and seductive, but who is to say if that is the case? after all, there are many kinds of vampires. wait. why did he say “yup, sure are” I DON’T LIKE THAT!!

HE APOLOGIZES FOR RONNIE AND SAYS HE MAKES US ALL LOOK BAD? “i mean, we pay taxes, we’re good neighbors” OMG LOOK AT HER FACE WHEN SHE REALIZES WHAT HE MEANS!?!

NOOO, SHE DRANK THE COFFEE HE GAVE HER, AND NOW SHE’S PASSING OUT!!! DON’T TOUCH HER, CREEPY SHERIFF MAN WITH NOW-GLOWING EYES!!!!!

mulder is at this RV park far away!!! run, run back to her!!!! she is going to be out of blood by the time you return!!!

he goes into the RV from earlier and finds more pizza… and a casket!!! with ronnie inside!!! listening to a walkman!!

he sits on his coffin as he reads ronnie his miranda rights…. but the whole RV park is full of vampires and they are coming to get him!!!

so he handcuffs the coffin shut, grabs some breadsticks, makes a crucifix, trying to repel them…. which is objectively hilarious... but they take him????? TO DO WHAT???

and he’s found the next morning with his feet out the window of a car. AND WHY IS SHE IN THE SHERIFF’S JACKET?? 

he checks her neck and his own for fang marks, but they don’t seem to have any. they just have no memories at all from the evening before!!! and every single RV is gone!!! and mulder's shoes are untied!!!

skinner is being told that the vampires simply disappeared

“and that’s exactly the way it happened, start to finish?”

(silence) “well, i can neither confirm nor deny agent mulder’s version of events, which occurred outside my presence” “and i can neither confirm nor deny agent scully’s version of events, but, um…” “anyway, i was drugged” (LMAO SCULLLLYY) “that is…. essentially, exactly the way it happened” “essentially”

we fade to black with this. (“except for the part about the buck teeth”, adds mulder)

LMAOOOO??? that was it??? 

no answer. no convictions. the vampires all just left. 

someone else recently pointed out that despite them never figuring out wtf happened on these cases, they somehow have the highest success rate at the FBI, and that is so funny because. by jove. the other FBI members must be terrible at their jobs.

okay, so i could not stop laughing during this episode, and the sheriff plot twist really surprised me. so she never actually *slept* with the vampire, she just had a little crush on him!!! therefore, i must have misinterpreted that comment someone made on my post waaayyy back in s2.

but he *did* drug her, and she woke up in his jacket, which has… implications, especially when we earlier opened with a prison assault joke. 

but. okay. maybe i’m just hyper-sensitive to these things and it didn’t intend to be interpreted that way. plus, mulder was drugged too, and also woke up with no memory of what went down. at least there's gender equality in that regard.

ohhh, mulder was jealous!!! they both think of the other as too harsh!!! it’s fascinating to see how they see each other!!! he thinks he’s this suave encyclopedia of vampire knowledge, and she thinks he’s the type of guy that slaps down plane tickets on the desk and says yeehaw!

she thinks she’s overworked and taken advantage of, and he thinks she’s overly negative and hates all of his theories and ideas!!!

oh, the joys and sorrows of being with someone 24/7. and yet. the absolute MINUTE she leaves for vacation. he’s blowing up her phone. bahahahaaaa. couple’s therapy now. 

i remember someone pointed out in 3x13 that it was almost like the writers were trying to prove why they would never make a good couple in the way they got along horrifically when mercury was in retrograde or whatnot. i feel like maybe the writers intended for that to happen again this episode, like they were pointing at them and saying "SEE? this is why they can't kiss! they get on each other's nerves!"

joke's on you, i love couples that annoy each other. so jot that down.

oh, it was a good episode. a nice little silly one. which we all deserved after last season, and frankly even after earlier in this season as well.

mulder: let her fix your tie >:(

[vampirewalterskinner]

All AUs are Scully x Skinner x Mulder and most likely explicit due to sexual content.

AU descriptions under the read more!

Cannibalism

What it says on the tin.

Not connected to canon, takes place a decade or so after a zombie outbreak, the zombies won. Evolution through human sciences in attempts to end the apocalypse and adaptions to the virus has made zombies calm and human like and live in a world they created much like their human societal origins. They work, have families and friends, laugh and cry—even have pets. The only difference is that anyone without the zombie genetic makeup is essentially seen as food. Walter is a wealthy, admired, and powerful man and heavily involved in the government. The food source part of the government, that is. Purchasing humans is legal the same way buying a cow would be, there are rules and regulations but it can be done. Walter sees two pretty humans at a market, resilient and troublesome, and can’t help himself, buys Dana and Fox without a single thought. Despite how delicious they smell, he promises not to eat them. He finds their obstinate nature amusing. A small part of himself, a piece he keeps locked away because it had no place in this new world, remembers life before the virus and misses it.

No healthy romances here, folks. Walter is off because the virus so he’s a little fucked up, but he’s not going to force Dana or Fox into anything nor use them. He’s just a little creepy and obsessive. Horror and gore, tho, bc cannibalism.

Cryptid Seekers

Not canon compliant. Civilian AU where the three have hobbies involved in the spooky things that go bump in the night.

The three met on a Bigfoot search. After watching each other work, seeing experience and intelligence (unlike the other fools they were with) for two days they share emails. A weeks of communication go by and they agree get together on weekends to seek the truth about every supernatural creature, cryptid, and phenomena in the book. They become close friends and know everything about each other—except where they live and first names. They call each other by last names only. While knowledgable on everything, they have their favorites. Mulder specializes in legends, basically a walking encyclopedia of whatever they’re after that week. Scully specializes in witchcraft/magic (whether she believes in it or not is unknown). Walter specializes in tools and technology used to survey/find what they’re looking for—found footage is his obsession.

Involves lots of camping and mushy, budding romances with a nice dash of horror. Lots of Walter feeling like a third wheel and wondering wtf is wrong with him for getting a crush on people who are ten years younger than him.

Taxidermy

Mulder a taxidermist and Scully an arthropod pinner/mounter. Mulder’s work mainly concentrates on mutations but he loves to play with his own artistic choices and create impossible but incredibly realistic creatures. Sometimes he brings a supernatural creature to life with his depictions, using witness descriptions as his guidelines. Scully isn’t quite as artistic (although still art!) with her work as Mulder, choosing to focus on the science behind her little arthropods. Insects and spiders are her main objective. Most of her displays have information of the subject neatly written beside them, sketches of their inner workings, or simply naming parts of the body. Her most popular work, however, are little “living” displays to show how the critters existed in day to day life. The two run their own businesses—funnily enough, right next to each other—and became fast friends when they met. They both speak of a man who visits their stores often. Tall and handsome. Older, with rounded glasses. He never purchases anything, his eyes always searching the store with a quiet wonder and his hands stiff at his sides, as if afraid to cause damage. They manage to pry a few words from him but he always avoids their eyes. Polite, but flighty. Mulder manages to trap the man long enough to get a name. Walter Skinner, a man who was too afraid to take his artistic endeavors further than a time consuming hobby and a great admirer of the two young artists and their achievements.

The tamest au. Slice of life. The least likely to involve sex. Lots of taxidermy talk.

[shutupineedtothink]

X files mini review/analysis (double feature edition!) 1x20 "Darkness within" + 1x21 "Tooms"

Damn watching these back to back was a wild experience.

Loved the idea of darkness within and the pnw is notably spooky so it worked really well. But also, bugs?? One of the tamer villains in the show and yet this was just on the edge of beliveable, which made it more scary. Also just the vibes were vibing.

And when they got got at the end?? I was genuinely surprised, especially since their MO is usually getting away by the skin of their teeth.

Insane to end it that way with them in quarantine and Scully still passed out and "i told her it would be a nice trip to the forest" and then it ENDS. insane I tell you. I'm sure there's fic that picks up where that left off and I will be searching for it. Also it made me wonder - is there going to be a point where Mulder tries to push Scully away from the x files because he's just dragged her through too much BS. (But hes never going to give it up himself.) We'll see but I wouldn't be surprised.

Now Tooms. Low key surprised they brought him back this early but in real time I suppose this would have aired many months after that original ep, which was only ep 3 or 4 I think. Still, in another Show this villain returns type of episode would be finale material, but not txf. Makes me scared of the actual finale tbh.

Solid suspense and creepiness in this one as with the original. I haaaaate this guy so they did their job for sure. The strip of light they do across his eyes whenever they go yellow feels very classic horror/sci fi, excellent stuff.

Then there's the character work. Honestly a ton to unpack in this ep with our duo, they really went hard on this one.

Ok so Scully getting called into the principals office. I find it very interesting to track her responses and demeanor every time this happens, especially compared to the pilot. She's more invested in the x files, and Mulder, than ever before. Love that she brings up their clearance rate and is like, what more do you want from us?? Except covered in layers of formality and barely contained frustration. Great stuff.

Then our boy at the hearing. Of course he sounds crazy, but she doesn't call him out for it. And because he kind of brings it up first - do you think i would have sounded more believeable if, etc. But truly it's because at this point, she really knows he's right, she just can't say it out loud. But he calls her out for the beauracratic nonsense and damn if he isn't right about that too.

But he's not mean or arrogant about it, nor does he hold onto it. He just says what he needs to say and let's it go. To her, at least. Mulder the man you are.

Ok let's talk the car scene. I'm sure this scene has been talked to death about because it's top tier character/relationship building.

First of all, love the bit where she tries to call him Fox, and he's like no I even made my parents call me Mulder. The subtext is, this is my name to the people close to me. This is the name people I love get to use. That includes you. Later in contrast to this moment, we'll have the supervisor guy specifically call him Fox, and it feels even more disingenuous after this moment in the car. Such a subtle thread and I love it.

Second, she brought him a sandwich and made a liver wurst joke. A++

Ok then the line: Mulder i wouldn't put myself at risk for anyone but you. Yeah baby, that's a banger. And a true testament to where we are now vs the beginning of the season.

Love that he lets that sit for a minute, but then his response was genius (on his part, on the writers part, both). If you got an iced tea in there, it could be love. Obviously a joke, and yet he introduces the idea of love between them, which has never been spoken aloud before now. Bruh I was screaming at my television. But it gets better! She manages to keep a straight face, but then - root beer. And his little "aw damn" laugh in response.

So in like less than 5 minutes we've brought them closer than ever, introduced the idea of love, then backed off as quickly as possible but somehow kept the whole thing cute and light - in the middle of one of the darker episodes of the series so far. Really brilliant stuff. So much fun to watch.

Ok just a couple more things that stood out. Great subversion with Tooms breaking into Mulders house, calling back to him breaking into Scullys house in the first episode (same heating vent even?), but then he frames Mulder instead of attacking him.

I knew that psychiatrist was toast from the jump.

The end at the mall: semi unbelievable that an entire mall went up where that old building used to be in a few months but whatever. The important thing here is i LOVE that Scully immediately thinks she should be the one to go down into the vent or whatever because she's the smaller one, but then he stops her and says you can get the next mutant. It's a little chivalrous, which i do like, but that line shows hes not volunteering bc he doesn't think she can do it, he's volunteering because he wants to. And yeah probably to protect her too and I can't fault him for that.

And finally, death by escalator??? Iconic. Also, Jfc.

Ok that was longer than a mini review but I'm just so impressed with the excellence of this show so far. Can't wait for the finale and to share my overall thoughts on S1!

[spookyshipperfics]

The Finer Things (Chapter 1)

Find it: a03 / Fandom: The X-Files / Rating: Explicit

Part of the Do You Like Scary Movies? series

Tagging @today-in-fic

What is it About? Scully and Mulder are sent undercover onboard a luxury train to investigate the presence of a suspicious and undocumented train car. Playing a wealthy married couple is tricky, but they run into even bigger issues when an unwelcomed agent gets sent in for backup.

Read a Sample: You’ll want to pack predominantly dressy casual, but formal wear will also be required.

Skinner’s advice still bounced around Mulder’s skull. What did dressy casual even mean? For a man who wore a suit and tie nearly every day, he worried the slacks and collared shirts shoved in his suitcase weren’t up to code. The rental car suddenly felt hot, and he cracked the window.

Mulder had been told a lot over the last two days. He and Scully would be riding the Dusty Mountaineer, a train that twisted and wound through the Rocky Mountains of Colorado before opening to the deserts of Utah and, finally, Nevada. It was five days of luxury meets majesty, or at least that’s what the brochure promised. And while that all sounded fine and dandy, they weren’t going for leisure.

The Dusty Mountaineer’s last few trips had included a mysterious train car unaccounted for in any brochures or official travel documents. The FBI suspected some sort of smuggling operation—firearms, drugs, chemicals—but whispers of strange creatures being transported to a testing site in Nevada warranted a knock on the Spookys’ basement door. After all, Mulder had recklessly jumped onto a train only a few years ago for similar reasons.

This train ride would be different, though. For starters, he and Scully would be going undercover as a married couple… again. Goodbye, Rob and Laura Petrie. Hello, Pete and Chrissy Curtis. Who would’ve thought that with all this chaos, the contents of his wardrobe would be what broke him?

“Scully,” he said, glancing at her in the passenger’s seat, where she leafed through documents containing information about their cover stories. “What do you consider dressy casual?”

He didn’t need to look at her to know she rolled her eyes. The sigh of annoyance confirmed it. “Mulder, if the items you brought are anything like what you’re wearing now, you’ll be just fine.”

His shoulders relaxed in his sports coat. He felt considerably better about the fitted white T-shirt and khakis beneath it. “You think?”

“I do,” she responded dryly, and Mulder couldn’t help but sneak another peek at her. Outfitted in a light blue dress that was much more form-fitting than anything he’d ever seen her in, it was difficult to bring his attention back to the road. He did, though, trying to ignore the memory of her smooth thighs peaking from beneath the fabric.

“What do you do for work?” Scully’s voice drifted into his ear, jolting him back to reality.

“What?”

“What do you do for work?” she repeated.

The fluttering papers in her hand reminded him why they were here in Colorado. He had more important things to worry about than how soft Scully’s thighs looked. He was a goddamn FBI agent about to go undercover for five days. Maybe that’s what was really making him nervous. It wasn’t the definition of dressy casual; it was pretending to be married to Scully. It had been easier in Arcadia. He hadn’t really known what to expect. He didn’t realize how much he’d enjoy touching her or calling her pet names.

“Well, dear,” he began, “I’m a community college professor specializing in conspiracy literature and theories, but I also teach history because that’s what pays the bills.”

“Good,” she remarked.

Deciding to go for the extra credit, he continued, “You teach pre-med at the same college. That’s, of course, how we met. What was it now? Seven years ago?”

“Six,” she corrected. “Just like in real life.”

“I know. I know,” Mulder assured her. He knew exactly how long ago they’d met. Scully had changed his life when she’d walked through his basement door. Something like that you didn’t forget. “I’m thinking of making that part of my schtick. You know, the whole forgetful husband trope. I’m bad with anniversary dates. I forget to pick up milk on the way home.”

“That tracks,” she said, and this time, he could hear the smile in her voice. “Birthdays aren’t a strong suit of yours, either.”

“Not a strong suit of Pete Curtis,” he countered. “I want to be clear that this is strictly a character choice.”

Any snarky rebuttal Scully might have tossed back at him was left unsaid. Instead, she let out an excited “wow.” After rounding the last bend, the Dusty Mountaineer came into view. The fifteen-car train was a shiny black and decorated with elaborate gold accents and lettering.

“It looks like something out of an Agatha Christie novel,” Scully remarked.

Mulder nodded. “Let’s just hope this story doesn’t play out like one of hers. I could do with a little less murder.”

The Dusty Mountaineer’s narrow hallways were wood paneled, the floors a floral carpet. It was a bit like stepping into a time capsule. There were no TVs or other technological entertainment, and even the staff were outfitted in clothes of a different era.

“Dinner is served at six. Our dress code requires passengers to dress appropriately when not in their rooms. Formal attire is required for the cocktail party on Friday night.” Jamie, the crew member assigned to walk them to their lodging, continued rattling off rules and detailing the agenda before stopping at a cabin on the far end of the first sleeper car. “This is you, Mr. and Mrs. Curtis.”

Despite everything Mulder had seen thus far, he still wasn’t quite prepared when Jamie pulled open the door. His eyes swept across the cabin and widened. The wood paneling continued inside their room, which contained a full-sized bed, a small table for two, and a sofa. Cubbies and hidden closets allowed for tidy storage. A shelf holding complimentary champagne and glasses hovered above the table.

It was a far cry from the derelict accommodations they were used to. The Bureau had splurged only because people thinking they had money could work in their favor. If the stupid rich couple was caught in an area of the train they shouldn’t be, they could chalk it up to entitlement. Money clogging their brains.

Still, being allowed to even exist in this old-timey glamour sent a secret thrill up Mulder’s spine. He automatically reached for Scully’s hand. The need to conceal the action as part of their cover had him practically shouting over Jamie, who had barely finished explaining how to convert the sofa into a cot. “This is great, isn’t it, honey?”

“It’s beautiful,” Scully responded, and he could tell by the way her eyes glistened that she meant it.

Running on a diet of caffeine and adrenaline, they took advantage of the three-course dinner and complimentary champagne. Upon returning to their cabin, Mulder offered Scully the en suite bathroom first. He took the opportunity to change into sweatpants and a T-shirt.

Scully emerged in silk pajamas a few minutes later, a cloud of minty toothpaste and something floral—lotion maybe—trailing behind her. Mulder followed her gaze to the far end of the cabin, where the full-sized bed loomed. He realized then that this wasn’t like Arcadia at all. There was no downstairs couch to retreat to at night.

Find the rest on a03

[baronessblixen]

Saw your tags! I admit the angle about Bill knowing abt Scully's past relationships might be a stretch; but I find it interesting that from the get-go he intuits that Scully follows leadership "blindly" (as he sees it); and that she tends to "lose" herself in whatever "role" she's trying to fill before he even met Mulder or thoroughly assessed the situation. And it's no secret she and her father had pet names for each other, so it'd be easy for him to add 2 and 2 to get 4.

I can see him knowing about Jack Willis at least-- maybe not enough to care, but enough to know she was publicly dating and celebrating birthdays with him. Daniel's an if; but he was a big enough turn in Scully's life that she transferred out from under him and caused a big stink when recruited to the FBI. And Bill pegged Scully (not altogether rightly) as being a second mate to Mulder's insane quest, quietly judging the whole situation at Maggie's party.

I guess it wouldn't surprise me if preS1 and S1 Scully kept her family more in the loop, not having distanced herself because of her experiences: openly talking about her cute partner to Ellen, filling in Mulder on her own personal life, talking about her brothers casually in Roland's episode. I think reticence came later: before her abduction. she spoke her mind (little girl yelling at her brother and calling Mulder "Spooky" with her other peers before assignment, for instance.)

But I'm open to having my mind changed, of course~. ;))))

They don't seem particularly close to me and it's probably just a headcanon of mine, but I'm not sure how often they see each other. So I imagine Scully telling her mother - and before she died, her sister - things and then Maggie Scully slips that information into conversations with her other children. I wish we'd seen more of that whole family dynamic. Bill does seem a bit like he's trying to fill his father's shoes and be the head of the family after his death. So of course him not knowing something about one of his siblings would bother him.

Maybe he thinks she follows leadership blindly is because he doesn't understand what she does for work and he only sees her follow Mulder. Probably much like she used to follow their dad around and maybe even him when she was young. Do we know if their dad only had a nickname for her? Maybe each of them had a nickname.

I can't see Scully give Daniel as a reason why she's accepting the position at the FBI. I'm not sure the show intended it like that either. I think she and Melissa talk about it in a flashback and they're just talking about it being a challenge.

Totally agree that she probably kept them more in the loop pre her abduction. Especially pre-season 1. and can you blame her? What can she talk about? There isn't much. The only other person who fully gets it is Mulder. It's all very interesting and I really wish we could have had more of their family dynamics.