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killerelysia · 26 days ago

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Pardonnez-moi, Monsieur!- Solivan brugmansia x Yan!G.N Reader! (Part 4!)

The kid at the back is a 18+ visual novel Minors don't interact!

Words: 10276

Genre: Yandere-(Self aware yandere won the poll)

(Reader is G.N)

Summary: You’ve become consumed by your obsession with Solivan Brugmansia. What started as innocent curiosity quickly spiraled into a fixation. He started it and you began to stalk him, learning every detail about his life. You felt a sick sense of satisfaction in making Sol’s world safer while growing increasingly delusional about your connection with him. Your love for him deepens as you fantasize about the future, convinced that you are the one who truly understands him—better than anyone else. Despite the line between reality and obsession blurring, you remain certain: Sol is yours, even if he doesn’t know it yet.. You're his and he's yours...

Trigger Warning: This content contains themes of obsessive behavior, stalking, manipulation, mental instability, and delusional thinking, Drugging, Yandere?, Hopeless in love for attention Please read with caution.

Obsessive behavior: The reader becomes dangerously fixated on someone, bordering on stalking and delusion.

Manipulation: The reader engages in schemes to control or harm others, often through deception.

Mental illness: Delusional thinking, possible dissociation from reality, and unhealthy fixation on someone.

Violence: There are references to bullying, physical harm, and emotional manipulation.

Emotional abuse: Both in terms of how the protagonist manipulates others and how they might internalize toxic behaviors.

Stalking: The reader watches and follows the person they are obsessed with.

EXTRA: He's a character from a game named The kid at the back!! Note, The relationship presented here between sol and reader is extremely toxic!! In no way, Just because I'm writing doesn't mean I support this kind of toxicity. Note, It's okay to like sol if you know the flaws and don't be a blind eye on them! Again, I don't support his actions etc! If you hate sol ignore this.

Than to love and be loved by me.

The one who loves.

And this maiden she lived with no other thought

I was a child she was a child,

In this kingdom by the sea.

DAY 2: THE KINGDOM

The next day, Your usual seat at the front wasn’t even a consideration today; you made a beeline for the back corner, far from prying eyes—and far from Crowe. Your heart sank when you saw him glance up from his seat, his expression brightening momentarily at the sight of you.

But you didn’t meet his gaze.

You sat down quietly, pulling out your sketchbook and notebook, placing them on the desk like a shield. Your hands trembled slightly as you flipped to a blank page, picking up your pencil to sketch. The familiar motions grounded you, the lines and curves forming shapes, the gentle pressure of graphite against paper drowning out the world....

Crowe stood a few desks away, watching you with furrowed brows. He hesitated, then started toward you. His voice was soft, careful. “Y/n…”

You didn’t respond. Instead, you pretended to be engrossed in your notebook, scribbling down the professor’s words as the lecture began. Your focus was split between the notes and the growing sketch in your sketchbook—a vague outline of Sol’s silhouette, his familiar posture, his distinct, sharp features.

Crowe lingered near your desk, shuffling awkwardly. "Hey, can we—"

You turned a page in your notebook with a deliberate flick, effectively cutting him off without a word. He exhaled sharply, a hint of frustration creeping into his voice.

“Y/n, please, just—”

Still nothing.

The room began to fill with whispers as students noticed the exchange. Embarrassed, Crowe finally moved back to his seat. But even as he sat down, you could feel his eyes on you, a weight pressing on your shoulders. You swallowed hard, your pencil pausing mid-stroke.

You were sorry.

Sorry for ignoring him, for pushing him away, for the cold shoulder and the distance you’d built brick by brick. But it had to be this way. It had to. Crowe didn’t belong in this part of your life, in the chaos you were creating for yourself. He deserved better—better than being tangled in the web of your obsession with Sol.

You kept your head down for the rest of the lecture, focusing solely on your sketch and notes. You poured your feelings into the page, the drawing of Sol becoming more vivid, more alive with every stroke. It was as if he were there with you, his gaze pulling you in, his lips curved in that faint, elusive smile that haunted your dreams.

The professor dismissed the class, and students began to file out. You stayed in your seat, pretending to organize your things. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Crowe hesitate near the door, glancing back at you one last time. His expression was a mix of worry and resignation.

Your chest tightened painfully. You wanted to look at him, to say something, to explain. But you didn’t.

Instead, you kept your eyes on your sketchbook, shading in the smallest details, your lips pressing into a thin line. You heard his footsteps fade away, and the classroom grew silent. Only then did you let out a shaky breath, your fingers trembling as they gripped your pencil.

"I'm sorry, Crowe," you whispered to yourself, the words barely audible.

But you didn’t stop drawing. You couldn’t. Sol’s face stared back at you from the page, his crimson-orange eyes boring into yours. You smiled faintly, brushing your fingers over the drawing.

For now, this was enough.

The words echoed in your head as you stirred awake, the remnants of an uneasy dream slipping through your fingers like grains of sand.

"If you don't pay up, we will have to take your land."

It was a haunting phrase, one tied to memories you didn’t care to revisit.

You felt someone shaking you gently, pulling you back to the present. Bleary-eyed, you blinked up at the figure looming over you.

“Does that mean we can talk now?”

The voice was unmistakable. Your vision cleared, revealing Crowe's concerned face staring back at you. For the love of everything, him again.

“No,” you snapped, your voice sharper than you intended. You sat up fully, brushing off his presence like an unwanted pest. “Leave me alone.”

“Why are you—”

You didn’t give him a chance to finish. Pushing past him with enough force to make him stumble, you stormed off.

The hall was already bustling with students, and you moved through the crowd with purpose. Brittney and Deryl stood near the lockers, their animated chatter ceasing as you passed. Geo, leaning against the wall, caught your gaze with a sneer. His lips curled into a silent judgment, his expression screaming disgust.

You paused for the briefest moment, flashing him a sharp smile. And just for good measure, you stuck out your tongue before continuing down the hallway. You didn’t care what they thought—not Geo, not Brittney, not Deryl. Not even Crowe.

Except… Crowe was still following.

You glanced over your shoulder. His pace was slower now, his shoulders slumped, his expression weighed down by something you didn’t want to name.

Why won’t he stop?

You reached your destination, you slowed your steps and pulled out your phone, pretending to be engrossed in the screen. In truth, you weren’t checking messages or scrolling through feeds. You were just avoiding the noise—the whispers, the stares, the weight of Crowe’s gaze.

Lunch.

Your stomach twisted as you realized you hadn’t brought anything to eat. Of course, you hadn’t. You never did anymore, not since you left your lunch box at the vent.

You tensed, gripping your phone tighter. The vent was closed now. There was no way to check out Sol anymore.

No way to be near him without making it obvious.

You stood frozen for a moment, debating your next move. You couldn’t go back to the cafeteria, not with those faces staring at you. And you certainly couldn’t go to Crowe.

You took a shaky breath and turned, heading toward an empty corner of the school. Anywhere but here. Anywhere but them.

You didn’t care. No, you really didn’t. Or at least, that’s what you told yourself as you moved through the hall like a ghost, your thoughts fragmented and chaotic.

Join Sol

Call Sol over

Stay with the fucking group

And then you saw him.

Sol.

He was stepping out of a classroom, his silhouette catching the dim light like it was crafted to stop your heart. For a second, you were frozen. But then you noticed someone trailing after him—a familiar face.

Hyugo.

That rascal. The carefree little mischief who somehow always seemed to be hanging around Sol like a bored puppy. Hyugo looked as if he’d rather be anywhere else, his hands in his pockets, expression betraying his boredom.

You couldn’t help it; your gaze locked onto Sol, and your heart practically burst with excitement. It was too much—your steps quickened, and for a second, an impulse hit you like a lightning strike:

Run. Hug him. Surprise him.

But reality hit harder.

That’s fucking creepy! What the hell is wrong with you?!

Your pace slowed, and you adjusted course, pretending to act casual. A flood of emotions hit you as you walked closer to Sol: adoration, longing, frustration. You were caught between running away and running straight to him, but there was no stopping now.

Sol’s eyes shifted, catching sight of you. He stopped mid-conversation, his focus zeroing in on you like a heat-seeking missile. His expression remained calm, unreadable as always, but you knew he’d noticed you.

Beside him, Hyugo also turned, noticing Sol’s distraction. His gaze followed, landing on you. For a brief second, his eyes were dark, calculating. But then, his lips curled into a smile. A smile that didn’t quite meet his eyes.

Threatening.

The moment replayed in your mind —his voice, the subtle threat, the tension crackling like static in the air. You ignored it.

“Hello! Did Sol teach you a lesson yet?” you asked, your tone sharper than you intended.

Hyugo’s bored demeanor dropped instantly. His eyes narrowed, and his lips formed a pout, an exaggerated expression of mock offense.

“Hmph! You told him?! Why would you do that?” he said, huffing like a sulking child.

You smirked. “You and George of the Jungle have the exact same baby face,” you shot back, tilting your head.

Hyugo’s faux anger morphed into surprise. His mouth opened slightly in an “O” shape. “You know him?”

You nodded smugly. “Yeah. I like to piss him off. He torments me constantly, so I’ve made it my mission to get justice for the—uh—life he’s made miserable for me.”

Hyugo raised a brow, clearly unconvinced.

“And while we’re on the topic,” you continued, pointing at him, “tell your brother to stop being such a Pinocchio and sticking his big nose in other people’s business!”

Hyugo blinked. “Okay! He won't listen!"

“And you!” you turned your attention back to him, your eyes narrowing, “you threatened me yesterday! For what? What did I even do to deserve that?!”

Hyugo crossed his arms, a smirk curling on his lips. “Me? Threaten you? I would never,” he said, his tone dripping with sarcasm.

“Don’t act innocent,” you shot back.

Sol, who had remained silent during your exchange, finally spoke. His voice was calm, cutting through the tension. “Hyugo, stop messing around. Didn't we talk about it?"

Hyugo sighed dramatically, throwing up his hands in defeat. “Alright, alright. I’ll behave. Geez, Y/N, you’ve got sharp teeth for such a cute face.”

You glared at him, though your heart skipped a beat at Sol’s intervention.

Sol glanced at you, his usual composed demeanor softening into a rare, gentle smile. “Hyugo won’t do it again,” he assured you, his voice calm but with an edge that hinted at unspoken consequences.

You tilted your head, curiosity bubbling up. “And if he does?” you asked, teasingly but genuinely curious.

Before Sol could answer, Hyugo spoke up, his grin wide and playful. “Break my nose, for sure,” he said with a dramatic shrug, as if the idea didn’t faze him in the slightest.

You blinked, caught off guard by his nonchalance. For a moment, you were tempted to laugh, but something about the way Hyugo carried himself made you hesitate. He wasn’t someone to underestimate, and the playful glint in his eyes told you he knew it too.

Still, you forced a smile and decided to shift the mood. In your best attempt at Japanese, you bowed your head slightly and said, “ごめんなさい。” (Gomen’nasai.)

Hyugo’s eyes widened in surprise, his usual teasing smirk replaced by something more genuine—a bright smile that seemed to light up his face. But just as quickly, his expression shifted into something more thoughtful, his brows furrowing slightly.

He was thinking.

Perhaps too deeply for someone like Hyugo.

You could almost see the gears turning in his head. Did he suspect something? Could he tell you weren’t just throwing out random words? Maybe he’d pieced together that you actually understood bits of what he was saying when he switched to Japanese.

Sol, however, just looked at you, his crimson-and-orange gaze filled with quiet confusion. “What… are you doing?”

You grinned cheekily, shrugging it off as if it were nothing. “It was a one-day course I did,” you explained casually, “figured I’d try it out. Plus, I wanted to use it to piss off Geo.”

Sol’s expression didn’t change, but you swore you caught the faintest twitch of amusement in the corner of his lips.

Hyugo, on the other hand, narrowed his eyes at you, his arms crossing as he tilted his head. “Geo, huh? So you’re learning languages just to mess with him?”

“Exactly,” you replied with a playful smile.

Hyugo shook his head, a chuckle escaping him. “You’re something else. My brother never was silent!”

You hissed under your breath, the tension building inside you, threatening to spill over. Hyugo, that damn shit, was trying to divert the conversation again, and you could feel your frustration boiling over. But before you could say anything, he chimed in with a grin.

"But hey there! Thanks again for taking care of my buddy ol' pal here!"

You clenched your fists, the words on the tip of your tongue. No! Don't say it. Don’t fucking say it, Y/n. The voice in your head screamed, but you couldn’t help it.

"You’re an idiot," you said, the words coming out more harsh than you intended. "Ditching your friend like that. You know Sol gets bullied a lot. What if someone—"

You caught yourself too late. The words hung in the air, and you immediately regretted speaking them. Shut up, you fucking idiot! The self-loathing crashed down on you like a wave. You had to hold back the urge to slap yourself for speaking without thinking.

Hyugo, to his credit, just let out an awkward chuckle and winked at you, clearly unfazed. “Well, you were there for this handsome face fully yesterday, so I wasn’t worried.” He teased, grabbing Sol’s jaw and holding it up for display, causing an irritated groan to escape from the usually composed taller male.

“You. Are. Embarrassing. Me.” Sol’s voice was low, almost embarrassed as he tried to swat Hyugo’s hand away from his face, but Hyugo didn’t budge, instead grinning like the fool he was.

You felt a pit in your stomach. They were so easy with each other, too easy. You hadn’t been in a friendship like this, a closeness that felt so…natural. But that didn’t mean you liked it. It didn’t mean you were okay with it. Sol was yours—at least in your mind. No one else could have him.

Hyugo was just a distraction. A nuisance. Yet, something in the way he smiled and teased made you feel strange, uneasy. He was playing his part to perfection—being the charming idiot who seemed to have everything effortlessly. While Sol stood there, looking annoyed but also strangely comfortable around him, you couldn’t shake the feeling of discomfort creeping up your spine.

You had to stop thinking like this. You needed control.

"Sorry about him letting you take over his responsibility," Sol said, his usual teasing demeanor replaced with an exaggerated puppy pout, his smile ripped from his face as quickly as it came.

"Why did you tell him, Y/n? See, he's so cold to me now." Hyugo's voice turned whiny as he shot a glance at Sol, clearly disappointed that his playful antics weren't having the desired effect. The pout on his face only made him look like a sad kitten, and for a moment, you couldn't help but feel sorry for him.

God, you’re such a mess, Y/n. You mentally scolded yourself, but it didn’t change the fact that the whole situation was starting to feel like a personal disaster.

Sol was still stoic, the ever-watchful protector in his own way, but his eyes flicked toward you momentarily. The slightest shift in his gaze sent a warm rush through you.

"Sol..." you began softly, almost shyly. You didn’t want to be too obvious, but the words slipped out before you could stop them. "Please talk to Hyugo... Whatever it is, I want to thank him for letting me meet you finally. I mean, in the process."

There it was. The one thing that had been gnawing at you for so long. You weren’t asking for much—just that Sol would acknowledge the effort Hyugo had made to bring you together, even if it was clumsy and awkward.

Hyugo, catching the tone of your voice, nudged Sol in the ribs, prompting a low groan of discomfort from the taller male. He reached up to rub Hyugo's head in a way that seemed both affectionate and exasperated, like an older brother humoring a younger one.

"Yay! Thanks for fixing our pretty friendship, Y/n!" Hyugo’s voice was light, and his smile returned as he waved to you, looking genuinely pleased with himself.

You couldn't help but smile back, the corners of your mouth curving up in something like a real, genuine smile. It’s just a smile. Just a passing moment of kindness, you told yourself.

And then everything went to hell.

"Fuck, shitty Crowe," you muttered under your breath. You felt a heavy pressure on your chest as you turned to see him standing there, looming like a shadow that had followed you from the past.

"Aren’t you coming…?" Crowe’s voice carried with a mix of awkwardness . His presence was an unwelcome interruption to your fragile little bubble of hope. "Oh! Is these your friends? I see… I’m sorry if I bothered you." He said it so casually, as if he didn’t realize the effect his presence had on you.

You locked eyes with him, your gaze sharp and accusatory. Don’t make a scene. Don’t make this worse. But the words that came out of your mouth were anything but calm.

"Which part of the line... will you not?" Your voice was tense, the words biting at the air like venom.

Everyone in the group seemed to fall into an uncomfortable silence. You could feel their eyes on you, unsure of how to react. Geo stood there like a distant figure in the background, arms crossed, a slightly irritated expression on his face, while Brittney, Deryl, and Jess exchanged looks full of concern.

You felt trapped, suffocated by the weight of their attention, and you just wanted to escape. You can’t keep running, Y/n. You can’t keep hiding.

But it wasn’t just Crowe that you wanted to avoid. It was everything. The constant nagging fear, the guilt eating at your insides. You excused yourself, muttering under your breath.

"Y/n!"

Sol’s voice stopped you dead in your tracks, his tone softer than you expected. He rushed forward, concern laced in his words.

You turned to him, your heart leaping in your chest. There was something about the way Sol looked at you now, like he wasn’t quite sure what was going on, but he cared enough to make sure you were alright. The chaos of the moment didn’t matter. What mattered was Sol’s gentle hand on your shoulder, the way his eyes locked with yours as if asking for permission to step closer.

You smiled at him innocently, brightly—genuinely happy for the first time in days. The way Sol rushed to you, the care in his every step, was everything you had been craving.

Hyugo, clearly noticing the shift in the air, started talking to his brother, who was still looking incredibly displeased with him. The sound of their conversation faded into the background as your world narrowed down to just you and Sol.

For a moment, everything else—Crowe, your inner demons, the tension with Hyugo—seemed like it didn’t matter.

Because Sol was there. And for once, you weren’t alone.

"Anyway! Do you have any plans, Y/n? We're planning to go to the rooftop today and eat lunch there. You wanna tag along with us?" Hyugo's voice broke through the moment, casual and carefree.

You blinked, torn between the overwhelming thoughts racing through your mind. Rooftop. It sounded like an escape, away from the chaos. Away from the suffocating noise of the cafeteria. Definitely not the cafeteria, you thought.

"...Sol, definitely not the cafeteria... right?" you asked, trying to keep your voice casual but a tinge of excitement slipping through.

Sol shivered at the mention of the cafeteria, and Hyugo gave a small, nervous chuckle, clearly aware of the discomfort you both felt.

"I get it," you continued, your voice almost too smooth as you spoke. "The noise there is... discomforting. It makes me feel overwhelmed, and causes panic and anxiety... Is it like that for you too?" You didn’t mean for your words to sound the way they did—seductive, almost as if you were trying to show him that you two were alike. Definitely not faking it, you told yourself, though the tone you used felt too real. Too much.

Sol paused, his gaze shifting to you. The concern in his eyes deepened, and he nodded. He looked almost guilty, like he was worried for you. "Yeah... it is," he admitted softly, his voice barely above a whisper.

Hyugo, scratching his head in the background, glanced at the two of you with a knowing look. He leaned over to Sol, whispering something under his breath, but you were close enough to hear.

"You two are soulmates or something? How the hell are you both so similar like this?" Hyugo's words were teasing, but the implication made your heart beat faster.

Sol's face turned a deep shade of red, his lips pressing into a thin line as he fell silent. He glanced at you for a moment, clearly flustered but still trying to keep his composure.

You smiled at him, the expression on your face twisted in something darker than it should’ve been, but Sol didn’t seem to notice. He was too busy trying to fight the blush creeping up his neck.

Your smile deepened, but Sol was too lost in his own thoughts to see the crazed gleam in your eyes. He didn’t know how much you really cared. How much you needed him.

Hyugo walked over to his usual spot, taking his seat on the bench you had grown so fond of watching from a distance. Your eyes followed him, but it wasn’t long before Sol appeared, holding a large, wrapped box in his hands—something that immediately caught your attention. You couldn’t help but glance at the box, your curiosity piqued.

Sol, sensing your gaze, turned to look at you, and for a brief moment, your eyes locked. You didn’t break the connection, your expression softening in a way that only Sol would notice. You quickly moved to sit beside him, a little too eagerly, but you didn’t care. You had waited for this moment, and now it was here.

Sol glanced at you from the corner of his eye, and the faintest curve appeared at the corner of his lips, a subtle but knowing smile. It was small, almost imperceptible, but you caught it. You pointed at the box nestled in his hands, your voice laced with quiet curiosity.

"Did you pack three bento boxes again?" you asked, the word ‘again’ slipping out before you could stop it. Sol didn’t seem to notice, too focused on the task at hand as he unwrapped the cloth.

"Could say that," he replied casually, his voice warm but detached as he opened the box. Inside, there were indeed three meticulously packed bento boxes. Sol passed one to Hyugo, and then another for himself, leaving the third.

Hyugo accepted the box with a grateful smile, thanking Sol before pulling out his chopsticks. As he opened the container, he let out a small gasp of delight, his eyes lighting up with excitement.

"Oh! The otopushes are so cute!" Hyugo exclaimed, his voice filled with genuine admiration.

You didn’t let him finish, jumping in with your own enthusiastic response. "Ahhh!! They're adorable!" Your voice was louder than it probably should have been, but you couldn’t contain your excitement. You were practically bouncing in place as you leaned over, almost falling into Sol’s lap in your eagerness to get a closer look at the little decorated foods.

Sol let out a yelp, caught off guard by your sudden movement, but you didn’t care. The otopushes were so cute, and you couldn’t help but giggle at how perfect they looked. You practically cooed at them, your voice a mixture of excitement and affection.

"Ahhh!!! So cute!!!" you giggled, completely enamored by the detail Sol had put into each box.

Sol’s face flushed slightly, his surprise fading as he watched you. Hyugo just chuckled, watching the scene unfold with a knowing grin. He didn’t say much, letting the moment play out, but his eyes were amused, glancing between you and Sol as he happily dug into his meal.

Meanwhile, you couldn’t stop smiling, your heart swelling with a strange mix of happiness and obsession. This moment, sitting beside Sol, was everything you wanted. The warmth of his presence, the quiet connection in the little things like sharing a meal together, it was everything. You let your gaze linger on him a bit longer than you should have, lost in the simple joy of being near him.

"Did you pack three bento boxes again?" you asked, the word ‘again’ slipping out before you could stop it. Sol didn’t seem to notice, too focused on the task at hand as he unwrapped the cloth.

"Could say that," he replied casually, his voice warm but detached as he opened the box. Inside, there were indeed three meticulously packed bento boxes—each a masterpiece in its own right. Sol passed one to Hyugo, and then another for himself, leaving the third—always for you.

Your heart fluttered.

Hyugo accepted the box with a grateful smile, thanking Sol before pulling out his chopsticks. As he opened the container, he let out a small gasp of delight, his eyes lighting up with excitement.

"Oh! The otopushes are so cute!" Hyugo exclaimed, his voice filled with genuine admiration.

"Ahhh!!! So cute!!!" you giggled, completely enamored by the detail Sol had put into each box.

But you knew, deep down, this was just the beginning. And no matter how many times you found yourself in these little moments with Sol, you would always crave more. More of him. More of this closeness. More of everything. And nothing, not even your own twisted thoughts, could stop you from wanting it all.

You glanced at Sol's lunch as he opened it, noting how simple it was—a ham and cheese sandwich, neatly wrapped, but nothing too special. It made your heart ache a little. How could he not treat himself to something more? You had seen his attention to detail in the bento boxes he made for others, and yet, when it came to his own lunch, it seemed like he didn’t care as much. It was almost as if he didn’t value himself enough to do something nice.

You wanted to cook for him, to make him something special. Something as beautiful as what he put into the lunches for others. Why didn't he do that for himself?

Sol’s voice broke your thoughts.

“Did you eat today?” he asked, his voice unusually gentle.

You shook your head. “No…”

Sol’s eyes widened in surprise, and Hyugo, still mid-bite, stopped chewing, his eyes flicking between you and Sol. The sudden shift in the atmosphere wasn’t lost on you. There was a brief silence before Sol made a quick decision. Without saying anything more, he grabbed the third bento box from the cloth and placed it gently onto your lap.

You stared at the box, surprised. "Sol... it’s okay. Why do you have an extra one?"

“I thought Hyugo would finish it… plus, I didn’t like it,” he answered, his voice grumpy but soft. He looked away, clearly not wanting to explain further. His face was cute, though, flushed slightly as he tried to brush it off like it was no big deal.

But you could tell. Sol didn’t want to talk about it, but the effort he made, even in such a small way, made you feel warm. It was almost like he was giving you a piece of himself in that box.

You gently pushed it back towards him, shaking your head. “It’s okay, really…”

But Hyugo, looking a little tired himself and definitely more than a little frustrated, sighed loudly.

“For fuck sake—just eat from the same box, will ya?” he muttered, barely looking up from his meal as he poked at the food in his own bento.

Sol hesitated for a moment, his fingers gripping the fork and spoon a little too tightly, as if unsure of what to do next. The silence between you felt almost suffocating, but you could sense the tension building in the air. You decided to tease him, just to see how far you could push his patience.

You shook your head, declining the fork with a small smile. "I don't need that," you said, your voice playful, almost teasing.

Sol blinked, taken aback. "You want a spoon then? Or you could use chopsticks if you'd prefer," he offered, trying to keep his cool.

You didn’t respond to his suggestion. Instead, you looked directly into his eyes, leaning in just slightly as if to draw him closer. Your eyes were heavy-lidded, the playful innocence you tried to convey just enough to make him second-guess everything.

"Nothing of sorts," you replied cryptically, but with an intensity in your gaze that sent a shiver down his spine.

Sol raised an eyebrow, clearly confused. "Then what do you want?" he asked, his voice quiet, his patience running thin.

You didn’t break eye contact. In fact, you only leaned in closer, a soft but mischievous smile tugging at your lips. Your voice was barely a whisper, but it carried the weight of your intention.

you said, your voice trembling with something you couldn’t quite place. "I want you to feed me."

Sol’s breath hitched. His eyes widened, the red hue of embarrassment creeping across his face at your unexpected suggestion. You could see him freeze, his body stiffening as he processed your words. He glanced at Hyugo, who was sitting beside him, but you knew Sol’s attention was solely on you now.

With puppy eyes, you repeated, "Are you going to deny me, Sol?"

You didn’t care that Hyugo was right there. You were completely focused on Sol, testing him, wanting to see how far you could push. You wanted to make him squirm, to watch his reactions to every word that came from your mouth.

Hyugo, however, was no fool. He gave you a pointed side-eye, clearly unimpressed with your antics. "Really? Right in front of my bento box?" he muttered under his breath, his judgmental stare only adding fuel to the fire. "Come on, not the time or place."

You ignored him entirely, your gaze still locked on Sol, waiting for his response. You needed to see his reaction, to make him feel something for you, anything at all.

Sol looked back at you, his expression a mix of confusion and something else you couldn’t quite decipher. He was silent for a few moments, and you could tell he was struggling to come up with a response. His hesitation made you even more determined. You wanted to see him squirm, to watch him struggle with your words.

Hyugo, still eyeing you both, broke the silence with a scoff. "Are you gonna keep staring at them like that, or...?"

Sol glared at Hyugo, clearly irritated. "S-Shut up, Hyugo," he muttered, his voice quiet but sharp. "I’ll feed them."

At his words, your heart skipped a beat. There it was. He had agreed, albeit reluctantly. You almost couldn’t believe it. You sat there, waiting, as Sol took the spoon from the bento box a little too harshly, as if his hands were trembling with uncertainty. He scooped up some rice, along with a piece of sausage, and held it out to you, waiting for you to open your mouth.

You stared at the spoon for a moment, confused. Was he actually going to do it? You had thought he would refuse, that he might push you away, but here he was, offering you food.

Sol’s gaze never wavered from yours, his face flushed with embarrassment and something else that you couldn’t quite put your finger on. His silence was almost maddening, but you couldn’t bring yourself to break it.

Finally, with a small, almost imperceptible sigh, you leaned forward and opened your mouth. Sol hesitated for a moment longer, as if testing to see if you were serious, but then he gently placed the spoon into your mouth.

For a brief moment, everything felt surreal. It wasn’t about the food, not really. It was about the intimacy of the gesture, the closeness, the way your relationship with Sol seemed to shift with each passing second.

Hyugo, still sitting beside you both, stared at the two of you with an unimpressed expression, clearly over the scene you had created. But you didn’t care.

The bite of food melted on your tongue, you couldn’t help but feel a rush of excitement. It was delicious, but that wasn’t what had your heart racing. It was the fact that Sol, Sol, was feeding you. You wanted to scream, to shout your happiness to the world, but you kept it all in, a bubbling excitement threatening to spill out of you.

You took a moment to savor the flavor, but internally, it was like fireworks had gone off in your chest. You wanted to explode with happiness, but instead, you simply giggled. The sound escaped from you before you could stop it, a quiet, almost delirious sound of pure joy.

Inside, however, it was a different story. Your mind was screaming at you, your heart pounding in your chest like a runaway drum. Sol, Sol, Sol, I can’t believe this is happening!!! You wanted to jump up and scream it, but instead, you kicked your feet under the table in an almost childlike display of happiness.

Sol, of course, was completely oblivious to your inner chaos. He watched you for a moment, blinking in confusion. Your reaction was not what he expected, and it made him blush even harder. He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, clearly unsure of how to respond to your gleeful energy.

"This is so good!" you exclaimed, your voice practically sparkling with delight as you savored another bite. You couldn’t hold back your joy—it was as if every flavor came alive just for you.

Hyugo, who was absolutely stuffing his face with his bento box, looked at you with puffed-out cheeks like a hamster caught mid-feast. "I KNOW, RIGHT?!" he shouted through a mouthful of food, his enthusiasm infectious.

You chuckled at his energy, finding it oddly endearing. It made you glance back at Sol, who was eating quietly beside you. His calmness always stood out, but in this moment, it just made you feel more drawn to him.

"Sol," you said, calling his name softly. He turned to you, his eyes meeting yours with a quiet curiosity.

"You’d make such a great household husband," you teased, your tone light but your words brimming with affection.

Sol’s eyes widened at your declaration, the calm composure he usually maintained instantly crumbling. His cheeks turned a vibrant shade of red, and he quickly averted his gaze from you.

"Y-You really think so?" he stammered, his voice barely above a whisper.

You nodded with a smile, finding his reaction absolutely adorable. Sol seemed at a loss for words, his face growing even redder as he clutched his chopsticks tighter. He glanced down at his food, his mouth opening and closing as if he was trying to say something but couldn’t find the words.

And then, in a voice so soft you almost missed it, you heard him mumble, "Do you... want to get married to me?"

Your heart froze. Did he just—?

Before you could even process or respond, Hyugo swooped in like a wrecking ball, loudly exclaiming, "OH, LOOK AT THAT! THE WIND IS PICKING UP! DON’T MIND ME!" He clapped his hands together and let out a nervous laugh, cutting through the tension like a knife.

Hyugo’s interruption was so sudden and dramatic that it managed to defuse the moment, at least on the surface. Sol groaned, rubbing the bridge of his nose, clearly mortified. "Hyugo," he muttered through gritted teeth, "shut up."

But you weren’t letting it go. Not in your heart, at least.

Inside, you were a storm of emotions, your heart screaming with uncontainable joy. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! The thought of Sol even considering marriage with you—his quiet, hesitant words—set your soul ablaze. You wanted to jump, to scream, to kiss him right then and there.

But outwardly, you kept your cool, only letting a small, soft smile curl on your lips. You didn’t want to make Sol feel awkward or embarrassed. He already looked like a beetroot—his face flushed so red it was almost glowing.

You giggled softly and focused on your bento, savoring every bite with newfound delight. It wasn’t just the food that made you happy—it was the thought of Sol, his shy demeanor, his quiet kindness, his gentle heart.

Hyugo, sensing the charged atmosphere, leaned back and continued devouring his food with an exaggerated nonchalance

Meanwhile, Sol stayed silent, his gaze fixated on his lap as he fiddled with his SPOON.

Hyugo leaned back on the bench with a dramatic flourish, his arms spread wide as if making a grand announcement. “Let me tell you something, Y/n,” he began, his voice loud and playful, “Sol here? He’s not just a pretty face, no, no, no! He’s a complete package. The guy can cook, clean, organize, you name it! Total husband material! You’d think he was trained for this or something. Honestly, if I were into dudes, I’d have already proposed!”

You blinked at him, taken aback by his sheer enthusiasm. Hyugo’s grin widened, clearly enjoying himself as he continued his sales pitch. “Need someone to whip up gourmet-level meals? Sol’s your guy. Want your apartment to look spotless and smell like fresh lavender? Sol’s already on it. I mean, the man even folds his laundry so neatly it looks like art. ART!”

Sol let out a groan, covering his face with one hand. "Hyugo, stop it."

“Stop what?” Hyugo said innocently, clasping his hands together. “I’m just stating facts! You’re like the dream husband everyone wants, and I’m just letting Y/n know how much of a catch you are! You should be thanking me!”

“Thanking you for what?” Sol snapped, his tone sharp but his lips curving into an amused smile despite himself. “For making me sound like your personal butler? No thanks.”

Hyugo pouted, crossing his arms. “That’s not what I’m saying at all! It’s a compliment, you ungrateful perfectionist!” He jabbed a finger in Sol’s direction, his cheeks puffed in mock indignation.

Sol finally broke into a soft laugh, his irritation melting away. His eyes sparkled with that rare warmth, and the corners of his lips lifted into the gentlest of smiles. “Yeah, yeah, sure. Thanks for your glowing review, Hyugo.”

Their banter felt so natural, so effortless, like a glimpse into the depth of their friendship. It warmed your heart to see them like this—to see Sol smile like that, carefree and genuine. His laughter was soft, but it echoed in your mind, filling you with a quiet, radiant joy.

Your gaze lingered on him, watching how the sunlight hit his face, how his expression softened when he looked at Hyugo. You loved him—deeply, irrevocably. The realization hit you again, as powerful as the first time. You wanted this light in your life. You wanted him.

Sol had gone unusually quiet, his gaze distant as if lost in a maze of his own thoughts. You tilted your head, curiosity tugging at you. Something was off.

"Sol," you called softly, your voice breaking through his reverie. "You okay there?"

His body jolted slightly, like he'd been startled back into reality. "Oh! Yeah, I'm fine, Y/n." He forced a small smile, but his eyes betrayed him—there was something unsettled swimming beneath the surface. "Perfectly fine." He repeated the words, but this time there was an unmissable hesitation.

You narrowed your eyes at him, concern creeping in. "Are you sure? You seem... distracted."

He cleared his throat abruptly, sitting up straighter as if to compose himself. For a moment, he seemed ready to speak, but instead, he mumbled something under his breath. The words were faint, but they lingered in the air just enough for you to catch: "...like him..."

You leaned in slightly, brows furrowing. "What was that?"

He avoided your gaze for a second before finally turning to you, his expression guarded but laced with something else—an emotion you couldn’t quite place. "That person," he began carefully, his voice quieter than usual. "The one with braids."

Braids? It took you a second, but then it clicked. Crowe. Why would Sol be asking about him? The thought made you tense.

"Crowe... Ichabod? What about him?" you asked cautiously. You didn’t miss the flicker of something in Sol’s eyes at the mention of Crowe’s name—a fleeting darkness that made the air around him feel heavier.

He took a breath, his voice steady but low. "Yeah. Him." His tone carried a weight that made you sit up straighter. "Can I ask you something?"

Your confusion deepened, but you nodded. "Go ahead," you said softly, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. The touch seemed to catch him off guard; his body stiffened for a moment before relaxing under your hand.

He hesitated, his gaze flickering to yours. His lips parted, and the question slipped out, almost too quiet to hear: "Do you... like him?"

The question struck you like a thunderclap. Your mind reeled. Why was he asking this? Why did it matter to him? The intensity in his gaze, the slight clench of his jaw—it wasn’t just idle curiosity. It was something deeper. Something raw.

"I..." You faltered for a moment, searching for words.

Seeing your daze, you turned your head to Sol. His expression was dark, a shadow falling over his features, but his eyes gleamed unnaturally bright against the gloom. He said nothing, his gaze locked on the ground as if avoiding yours entirely.

"You don't have to say," he muttered, voice low and strained. His grip on the bento box in his lap tightened, the edges digging into his palms, and you noticed his fingers turning pale from the pressure.

Is he… jealous? The thought ignited something in you, a twisted kind of satisfaction at the possibility, but it was tempered by the sight of him like this—silent, tense, and clearly battling his emotions. Your obsession screamed at you to push it further, to see how much he’d unravel for you, but... you didn’t.

Not this time.

You didn’t want him to suffer under the weight of his feelings, even if they mirrored the toxic depths of your own. There was some sliver of humanity left in you, wasn’t there? Maybe. Or maybe it was simply because seeing Sol unhappy made your chest ache, and all you wanted was to see that gentle smile return.

Because you loved him. You loved him in a way that no one else could. In a way that bordered on madness. But you also wanted him to love you freely, without the pain etched across his face now.

Toxic? Yes. You were fully aware of it. You always had been.

But at least you could choose not to trigger him—at least, not intentionally. Not when you could feel the weight of his unspoken thoughts. He was waiting for an answer, bracing himself for something he clearly didn’t want to hear.

You looked at Sol, who was still gripping his bento box tightly, his knuckles pale. His jaw was set, and his eyes burned with an intensity that pinned you in place. This was not a side of him you saw often. Sol, with his quiet strength, always seemed above emotions like jealousy. But here he was—hissing softly under his breath, his lips barely moving as if he were mumbling something to himself.

He thought you still liked Crowe, didn’t he?

You let out a small sigh, leaning back slightly to gather your thoughts. Your fingers fidgeted in your lap, and you glanced at Sol again. His gaze was fixated on the ground, but his attention was wholly on you. The air felt heavy, charged with unspoken tension.

"Sol," you began softly, "about Crowe…"

That got his attention. His head tilted just enough for his eyes to flick toward you, the glint in them sharp, cautious. You pressed on, voice steady but quiet.

"During the first semester… there was this incident." You hesitated, feeling the memories resurface. "Crowe saved me. I don’t mean in some big, dramatic way, but he was there when I needed someone. And for a while… I liked him. A lot."

Sol’s eyes narrowed, his lips curving downward as he let out a quiet, almost inaudible hiss. The sound made your heart clench—not out of fear, but because you hated seeing him this way. Still, you pushed forward.

"I liked him because he was nice," you admitted, your voice calm but tinged with something heavier. Sol’s head dipped slightly, his bangs falling over his face, and you saw his hands tremble just a bit.

You took a breath, letting the words pour out before he could spiral further. "But you know what? I hate nice people."

That startled him. His head snapped up, his eyes widening just enough to show his surprise. You gave him a small, bittersweet smile, feeling your chest tighten as you spoke.

"I hate nice people because… if they so much as say hello to me, it stays on my mind. If they return my texts, my heart races. The day they call me? I’d probably replay that conversation in my head for days. But I know—deep down—I know it’s just them being nice. Nothing more."

Sol’s lips parted as if to say something, but he stayed silent, his gaze locked onto yours. There was something raw in his expression now, something vulnerable.

"And Crowe?" you continued, your smile growing faint, almost brittle. "He’s the same. He’s kind to everyone. He sees the good in people, always. That’s just who he is. And you know what? If the truth is cruel, then kindness is a lie. Because lies are meant for kindness."

You stopped, swallowing hard as you felt the sting of unshed tears. Sol’s gaze softened, though his body remained tense. He wasn’t interrupting, wasn’t looking away. He was listening.

"I gave up," you admitted, your voice quieter now. "I gave up on wanting things like that. Someone who’s just nice to me because it’s what they do? It’s not enough. I wanted someone to love me. Not out of pity or kindness. But because they saw something in me—something worth loving. And if they did? If they loved me… I’d give everything to them."

Sol’s breath hitched audibly at that. You didn’t look at him, afraid that meeting his eyes would unravel you completely. Instead, you stared at your hands, voice trembling as you finished.

"No matter how… strange the love might be," you said faintly, "I’d love them back. Because they found something in me. Because they wanted happiness… with me."

You paused, letting the silence stretch between you both for a moment. When you finally looked up, Sol was staring at you, his expression unreadable but his eyes glistening with an intensity that made your heart ache.

"So, to answer your question, Sol…" you said softly, meeting his gaze head-on. "No. I don’t like Crowe. Not anymore. We even had a fight yesterday, and honestly? I’m done with it. I’m done with him."

The words hung in the air, heavy and final. Sol’s shoulders relaxed slightly, the tension in his posture easing, though his expression remained serious. He opened his mouth to say something but stopped, his lips pressing into a thin line instead.

You let out a bitter laugh, shaking your head as the weight of everything you just said hung in the air. The truth had tumbled out so effortlessly, yet it felt heavy, like you’d cracked open a part of yourself you hadn’t meant to. Sol was still staring at you, his expression unreadable, but his eyes… they stayed on you, unwavering, as if he was waiting for something.

"It’s so shitty, isn’t it?" you muttered, your voice low but trembling with emotion. "How people like me… how we think. It’s exhausting. I hate how my mind works—getting attached so easily, overthinking every little thing. Crowe just smiles or says hi, and suddenly it’s like I’ve written a whole future in my head. Like I matter to him. Like I’m… special."

You scoffed, running a hand through your hair. "But it’s not real. It never is. And then I get angry at myself for even hoping it could be. It’s stupid, you know? Wanting to mean something to someone who probably doesn’t even remember I exist half the time."

Sol flinched, almost imperceptibly, but you caught it. His hands rested on his knees, gripping his pants tightly as if grounding himself. Hyugo, on the other hand, looked away awkwardly, the tension thick enough to make even him fidget.

"And the worst part?" you continued, your voice rising just slightly before falling into a strained whisper. "It’s like… I know better. I know that people like Crowe aren’t bad, that they’re just being themselves. But it still feels like shit. It feels like a cruel joke. Because I can’t stop myself from wanting to matter to someone like that. And every time I realize I don’t? It’s like I lose another piece of myself."

You finally looked up at Sol, your eyes locking onto his. His expression was softer now, his lips parted as if he wanted to say something but couldn’t find the words. His gaze held a storm of emotions—anger, sadness, and something else that made your heart twist.

"I hate how pathetic this all sounds," you admitted, your voice cracking. "But it’s the truth. And the truth is cruel."

The silence that followed was deafening. Even Hyugo, who always had something to say, stayed quiet. Sol finally moved, shifting slightly closer to you. His hand hovered near yours, hesitating for a moment before his fingers brushed against yours lightly, grounding you in the moment.

"You’re not pathetic," Sol said, his voice low but firm. "Don’t ever call yourself that."

His words were simple, but the weight behind them made your chest tighten. He looked at you with an intensity that made it hard to breathe, his crimson-and-orange eyes burning into yours like they could see every hidden part of you.

"You just… want to be seen," he added, his tone softer now, almost tender. "That’s not pathetic, Y/n. That’s human."

".....When will you let me see you...?" You asked quietly, Sol didn't catch it.

You shifted in your seat, trying to steer the conversation elsewhere. The mood had gotten heavy, and you were desperate for some levity. "So, Sol," you began, your tone light and teasing, "surely you must like someone, right? Spill it!"

Sol raised an eyebrow, the corners of his lips curling into that mischievous smirk you knew all too well—the one that appeared when he thought he had the upper hand. It was the same smirk he gave you when he thought you were fast asleep, his arms wrapped around you tighter than they needed to be. It made your chest flutter in ways you couldn’t admit out loud.

He leaned in slightly, his voice dripping with playful sarcasm. "Why? You interested?"

Your eyes widened, your entire face heating up as you puffed out your cheeks in frustration. "W-What?! No! That’s not what I—ugh! Sol!" You stammered, flailing your hands as you tried to recover, but the damage was done.

The grin on his face widened, and for a brief moment, he chuckled—a rare, soft sound that made your heart skip a beat. His teasing facade cracked just a little as he looked at you with those piercing eyes, the playful glint fading into something warmer, softer. "So cute," he murmured, almost too quietly for you to catch.

Almost.

You did catch it, though, and your brain immediately short-circuited. Your chest tightened, and your legs wobbled as if your body couldn’t handle the sheer force of him. You could feel the heat radiating off your face, your heart pounding like it was trying to escape your ribcage.

Did he just—? Did Sol—?

Your vision swam for a moment, and before you knew it, you were swaying. "Whoa, Y/n!" Sol’s voice snapped you back as he reached out, catching you before you could fully tip over. His hands were firm and steady on your shoulders, his eyes wide with genuine concern. "Are you okay?"

Hyugo had stopped mid-bite, his hamster cheeks full of rice as he looked at you, clearly worried. "Y/n, you’re as red as a tomato! Do we need to call someone?"

"I-I’M FINE!" you squeaked, quickly sitting upright as you waved your hands frantically to dispel their concern. "Seriously, I’m okay!" But your face betrayed you, still hot and crimson as you avoided Sol’s gaze.

Sol narrowed his eyes at you, skeptical but letting it slide—for now. "You sure? You looked like you were about to faint." His voice was soft again, the teasing edge gone, replaced with something closer to worry.

"I’m fine!" you repeated, louder this time. Then, in an attempt to regain some semblance of control over the situation "Your cooking is good!"

Hyugo gave a knowing nod, stuffing another bite into his own mouth. "I know, right? Sol’s cooking is unbeatable!"

You smiled at Hyugo before turning your attention back to Sol, who was still holding the spoon, his face carefully neutral despite the redness creeping up his neck. "You’d make a great househusband, Sol," you teased, your tone light but sincere. "Seriously, whoever ends up with you is gonna be so lucky."

Sol’s eyes widened at your words, his grip on the spoon faltering slightly. "You… really think so?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper as he averted his gaze.

You nodded earnestly. "Of course! You’re amazing, Sol."

For a moment, he was silent, his face an even deeper shade of red as he seemed to grapple with something. Then, so quietly you almost missed it, he mumbled under his breath, "It's for you..I.."

Before you could fully process his words, Hyugo loudly cleared his throat, his eyes narrowing at Sol like he was trying to keep him from saying anything else. "I know right!"

Sol shot him a glare but complied, scooping up another bite and holding it out to you. You leaned forward eagerly, biting down on the spoon and savoring the taste. Inside, your heart was doing somersaults, screaming, AHHHHHHHHHHH SOL SOL SOLLL!!!

You kicked your feet under the table, your cheeks hurting from how wide you were smiling. Sol, despite his earlier embarrassment, couldn’t help but smile back at you, his expression softening once more.

This was perfect.

You leaned back, taking a break from the spoonful of food you’d just been fed, your mind racing with curiosity. "So… is this what you two do? You just feed each other like this every day?" you asked, playing it innocent, though you were secretly enjoying the chaos you were stirring.

Sol raised an eyebrow, looking slightly irritated but amused. "Hyu—" he paused, glancing at Hyugo, who was currently munching on his food like it was the best thing he’d ever tasted. "Hyugo forgets his lunch sometimes," Sol explained, "Then I end up sharing mine with him."

Hyugo’s face instantly puffed up in indignation, pouting like a child caught in the act. "Hey! I don’t forget my lunch," he snapped, his voice muffled by the rice in his mouth. "It’s just... I’m busy! Plus, I can always count on Sol to feed me."

"Whatever, Sol," Hyugo muttered, crossing his arms as he slouched back. "I’m just looking for inspiration. You wouldn’t understand."

You giggled, watching the playful banter unfold. There was something about the dynamic between the two of them that made you feel warm inside. "Speaking of inspiration," you turned to Sol, a mischievous glint in your eyes. "Where do you get the inspiration for these bento art pieces? They’re incredible. Do you just, like, think of it off the top of your head?"

Hyugo perked up, looking at you as if you’d asked the most obvious question. "Oh, you didn’t know?" he said, a sly smile spreading across his face. "Of course you know! Sol’s like the art guy in our class. He’s always been into making everything a piece of art—even his cooking. That’s why he learned to cook so well. He doesn’t just want to feed people, he wants them to experience it, you know?"

Sol’s face softened for a moment at Hyugo’s words, a small, fond smile tugging at the corner of his lips. He looked almost shy when he responded. "I guess... I like cute things."

You raised an eyebrow, tilting your head slightly. "Cute things? Like… what kind of cute things?" you asked, curious.

"Like," Hyugo chimed in with a smirk, "cute food, cute animals, cute people... you name it. Sol’s a sucker for anything that’s adorable. Like the way he stares at that stuffed horse plushie all the time—"

At that, you paused, eyes widening. "Wait, what? You have a stuffed horse?" You knew it.

Sol's face immediately turned bright red, and he let out an exasperated sigh. "No! I do not have a stuffed horse." He crossed his arms tightly, glaring at you and Hyugo. "And I’m not answering that."

You grinned, fully entertained. "Aww, come on, Sol. You can’t just drop a bomb like that and not tell me the name of your precious horse plush. What’s it called?"

"I said no," Sol growled, looking away with a flushed face. He looked so cute when he was flustered, and you couldn’t resist teasing him further.

The conversation took a turn for the darker after that. You, Sol, and Hyugo sat quietly, watching as a group of high-class individuals walked by. Sol was the first to break the silence, his eyes narrowed in distaste. He muttered under his breath, "Tch, high-class mugs."

You didn’t reply to Sol’s remark. Instead, you focused on the scene before you. There was something about the way they carried themselves—so poised, so perfect—that made everything feel distant. A cold knot settled in your chest.

Hyugo then, told abut learned about Hierarchy, High class.

Hyugo noticed the shift in your demeanor and turned to you, his usual warmth gone, replaced with concern. "Hey, you okay?" he asked gently.

You didn’t respond immediately. Your thoughts drifted, and you suddenly recalled the dream—the one that haunted you for years. Four years ago. You couldn’t shake the feeling it was all connected somehow.

Hyugo seemed to sense your unease. He raised an eyebrow, his voice quieter. "Let me guess... It's something you can't avoid?" he asked, almost like he already knew the answer.

You exhaled slowly, your thoughts heavy. "I honestly don't know... My father never really explained why we were in debt," you murmured. "I was just desperate not to lose our home... three jobs, giving out personal information... Everything was hard, and we weren’t getting enough money." You trailed off, feeling the weight of it all again.

Silence fell between you, the heavy atmosphere surrounding you like a fog. It felt like there was something more you couldn’t escape, something always lurking in the back of your mind. Something you had to do, but you couldn’t figure out how.

After a moment, you looked up, meeting Hyugo’s concerned gaze. "My father owns a farm down south," you said, trying to sound casual. "Not much—just horses, cows, maybe some wheat."

Hyugo’s eyes lit up at that. "Horses? Sol would love that place!" he said, his smile bright and eager. "Hey, you should take me and Sol sometime! We could check it out!"

You nodded, offering a small smile. "Yeah, I’ll count on it."

Hyugo leaned back, still looking thoughtful. "You’ve been away from home for a long time... don’t you miss it?" he asked, genuinely curious.

You shook your head slowly. "Not really," you said, the words feeling strange even as they left your lips. It wasn’t that you didn’t miss the familiarity of home, but the things you’d left behind felt like a distant memory now.

Hyugo smiled softly, a look of understanding in his eyes. "You remind me of them," he said, almost to himself.

"Who?" you asked, confused.

Hyugo looked a little flustered. "Ah, nothing, nothing!" He quickly recovered with a smile. "I was rambling, forget about it."

You gave him a curious glance but didn’t press him further.

You felt a chill run down your spine as you noticed Sol standing behind you, casting a glance at Hyugo. It wasn’t just any look; it was a glare. A look full of irritation and... jealousy? You couldn’t help but smirk under your breath. "God, for real," you mumbled, feeling amused. "His jealousy is off the charts..."

You couldn’t resist letting out a quiet giggle. It was nice knowing that Sol cared, even if his emotions were all over the place. It was just another reminder that you had control—well, a little.

Hyugo, unaware of the silent tension between you and Sol, waved his hands at both of you, his usual cheerfulness cutting through the mood. "Come on, you two, let’s get going!" he said, already moving towards the stairs.

You and Sol exchanged a brief look before both of you nodded and followed him.

you walked down the stairs, a sense of unease lingered in the air. The wobbly steps beneath you made each movement feel uncertain. You caught a glimpse of Sol’s gaze, and for a moment, he looked at you like he was weighing something. His expression darkened just slightly.

You almost didn’t notice the step beneath you, and before you could steady yourself, your foot slipped, sending you off balance. You gasped in surprise, but just as quickly, a hand gripped your waist and another caught you by the back.

Sol’s voice sounded beside your ear, his surprise evident. "Y/n!" he called, his body pressing against yours to steady you. His chest was right against your back, and the warmth from his body wrapped around you like a comfort, even as his hand gripped your waist a little tighter, keeping you from falling completely.

You winced slightly as your foot throbbed in pain, but you didn’t want to let go of the moment. His touch felt so steady, so protective. "Ouch..." you whimpered softly, a hint of vulnerability slipping into your voice.

Sol’s face softened as he leaned down, his breath grazing your neck as he whispered, "Be careful, Y/n..." The concern in his voice melted your heart, and you almost forgot about the pain in your foot, focused instead on how close he was to you.

You felt his grip tighten, pulling you even closer against him, and you couldn’t help but sigh, your heart racing. You made sure to let yourself fall just a little more into him, your body practically melting against his. His hand never left your waist, and the contact sent shivers down your spine.

Hyugo’s voice suddenly broke the moment, his tone annoyed. "Fuck this school," he muttered, glancing back at you two, clearly fed up with the situation.

Sol’s grip didn’t falter. "It's forbidden for you to come here," he said sharply, his voice laced with an authority that almost made you feel like it was a command. Hyugo let out a dramatic laugh and darted down the stairs, running ahead. "We're troublemakers."

Sol glanced at you, his face still slightly anxious. "Let’s get you down the stairs," he said, his hand continuing to rest on your waist. He helped you walk, his touch so gentle but firm, making you feel both cared for and... completely loved.

You acted a little more helpless than you needed to, making sure your steps were slow, and your foot hurt just enough for him to keep holding you. Each time he adjusted his grip, you felt your heart flutter. His hand was warm against your skin, and it didn’t leave your waist—not once. Every time he touched you, you felt like you could melt into him. It was hard not to feel a little love-sick with the way he held you so closely, the way he seemed so intent on making sure you were okay, even if it was just walking down a set of stairs.

#visual novel #the kid at the back vn #tkatb #tkatb sol #tkatb x reader #solivan brugmansia #solvian x reader #sol x reader #the kid at the back sol #the kid at the back x reader #the kid at the back crowe #sol brugmansia #tkatb vn #tkatb crowe #tkatb sol x reader

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flxfthm · 2 months ago

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I don't know if you ever said it before, but do you think Gabriel was a good villain?

mmm i guess the answer is yes because i think he's a good character? and the things that make him a "bad" villain are intentional flaws and weaknesses that make him more human. he's arrogant, short-sighted, and all his wins are attributed to outside help from nathalie, tomoe, or even felix !!! but he's not really meant to be seen as a schemer, as the way he exerts power over people is through his status. as he claims in pretention and as felix highlights in his play, the empire he's built and the resources he has access to make him the most intimidating, it's about "gabriel agreste" as a symbol of influence, who can control people in more ways than one.

he shines the most in S5 as he fully loses it and his dehumanization of adrien reaches ridiculously cruel extremes with the alliance rings, which are one of my personal favorite visual metaphors in the show altogether. it's sort of what i'm getting at, that you can see gabriel increasingly more corrupt with every passing season, and with that he also loses all the plausible deniability he was operating with from the start. the agreste story arc of S1-S5 is ultimately about questioning the consequences of our choices and the power we each hold as individuals, and gabriel is a physical manifestation of our worst possible selves. he's unapologetically selfish from his first to last appearance and even when he seems to come to recognize the results of his insanity, he cowardly leaves marinette to clean up his mess & deal with the aftermath.

while nathalie snapped out of it earlier than him & tried making amends for her actions by doing the bare minimum for adrien with the time she had left, and as felix ended up trading his cynicism for a positive outlook through the power of love, gabriel remained stubborn in his ways and his goal changed from the noble-sounding promise to reunite his family to, like, sticking it to those morally righteous brats as he grew mad with power. like akumas are people possessed by their negative emotions, gabriel is consumed by his regrets without even realizing it, and he's a cautionary tale for marinette to remember so that she doesn't end up like him. felix got to find out for himself pretty quickly how it felt becoming the monster that he thought his father was, that gabriel agreste was, and he immediately changed his path. but for marinette, whose life mirrors gabriel's own, the stakes are much higher and she's yet to come to terms with whether the choices she made in the S5 finale & london special were morally reprehensible after all. even with his physical disappearance, gabriel's control of the media, the people, and his son, have all been passed down to marinette and he still lives on through her. she could arbitrarily sympathize with felix's motivations as they both fought for adrien's sake and eventually their own romantic interests, but this time she's in a situation that would greatly affect and endanger her own life, and that's where the question initially posed to gabriel comes back to her - how far is she willing to go to keep things as they are, and how long will it be before she's also consumed by regrets?

the marinette/felix/gabriel spectrum really fascinates me because these characters have a ton of flaws in common as well as a similar way of thinking, and the distinction only lies in how instilled those mindsets are, and how easy or hard it would be to change them. marinette is always second-guessing, always unsure of herself; felix knows who he is, he has causes he vehemently advocates for but he's willing to make the occasional sacrifice or two if they'll benefit him in the long run, and he'll learn from past mistakes when things blow up in his face - and as for gabriel? he never makes any compromises, never reflects on himself, not once does he try and make an attempt until it's too late to change things.

and the way all of this ties with the show's message definitely makes him an incredible villain to me. thematically, he archieved his purpose in miraculous' first story arc and was an amazing nemesis to the main character. my only real complaints are only about how much more could've been done with these parallels while he was still active as the primary antagonist, or how we were only told about gabriel's past in the last minute, even if it was purposefully hidden. however i'm really excited for lila to succeed him as the theme of lies will surely be the most prominent in the second story arc, and i hope i'm correct in assuming that'll mean gabriel replacing emilie as the entity the narrative revolves around.

#am i allowed to tag my opinions again. hiii #miraculous ladybug #miraculous #marinette dupain cheng #gabriel agreste

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redrobinsrobbingrobin · 1 month ago

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Here is the aforementioned essay! I said I’d get it done (and my notes were pretty detailed anyway)

Dick's robin is representative of the distinction of youth culture coming to light as more kids distanced themselves from the conservative views and began questioning authority figures, during the 40s, when they questioned the actual effects and causes of war, questioned the authority behind it and the reason for not intervening earlier. Batman as a character was also introduced in this period, and is a call for social change. He is a billionaire who wants to help the lower class. He empathises with the people, he sympathises with the child that lost his parents in front of him, and death is a driving factor in both their lives. To me, this seems like a homage to the families who lot their children, their fathers, their brothers, to the war, and wanted to do and be better, to live their memory and be able to push through and help the world. Dick also puts McCarthyism into question, as he doesn't exactly obey Batman all the time, despite needing to. He questions Batman, he questions Bruce, he is rebellious and harsh, and angry, and maybe that's how he would have turned out, even without Bruce giving him a cape and weapons.he represents the beginnings of change, the start of hope after a war, the ability to raise yourself and your family above that.

Jason's post crisis character when referring to youth of the time is much like Tim's and Dick's. This was a period after wartime economy, where the majority of the population were people who couldn't fight in the war, where communism was a genuine fear, and his whole story line of 'crime alley, poor orphan, adopted by a billionaire,' pulls both capitalism and communism into question- why is there a billionaire when the people are suffering, and capitalism CAN help the few lucky enough to receive that help. In terms of youth attitudes, he came from a time of youth rebellion, evident in his later comics, where he pulled away from Batman which lead to his eventual death. He took more risks, he had an edge over Dick I terms of his street brawler style instead of Dick's grace in acrobatics. The older generations saw this rebellion of youth as off putting, and often refused to hire younger generations due to their more leftist views, and a perceived notion of them being radical and troublemakers. This stigma till exists today and is still evident in later Robin runs.

Tim’s characterisation as a representation if the youth is the most prominent to a modern audience, though, because he is representative of teens in the 90s/very early 2000s and they were attempting to get more teens into comics without it being seen as nerdy, however, this push for more youth diversity in comics prompted a huge shift in youth culture, where comics were now being seen as old people stuff and ‘nerd culture’ up until televised media (TV/movies) started adapting it to exclusively appeal to nerd audiences who didn’t want to watch new media, as it might mean letting go of old media. Televised adaptations also brought in new fans who could understand storylines visually and in a more efficient way than reading several decades worth of back reading comics could. Tim was a skateboarder and a photographer, and these pictures and excessive stalking of Batman and Robin could almost be seen as a teenage girl in the 90s having posters of her celebrity crush all over the walls. He also slept A LOT, which might be the writers trying to represent the youth as lazy in order to keep older readers and avoid being seen as 'pandering' to the youth.

Coincidentally, Steph was also introduced as a Robin during this period of the early 2000s which meant that DC were trying to ensure that women were being represented more in traditionally male media in order for the women’s equality movements to also be appealed to. She, as a character, does not fit into any stereotypical female character archetype (nosy reporter, damsel on distress, femme fatale) and is so evidently an individual of her own, without simply being a part of someone else’s character, like Tim’s. This shift in views towards women in comics was probably what stopped more comics from ‘fridging’ their female characters in order to elevate a male character’s story, even though Steph and Barbara were both pretty badly portrayed at the end of their individual runs (Killing Joke and No Man's Land, and Steph's baby). Her introduction as a Robin, 'the Girl Wonder' was so that Batman comics would appeal to more women, specifically, women who were actively less conservative and more likely to get into traditionally male medias, as many women in the 2000s were stepping out of conservative roles, and more were engaging in these 'nerdy' interests.

Damian’s introduction in a post 9/11 world, where the vilification of the LoA had reached a high and probably contributed to the extreme whitewashing of his character, sometimes seen in the DCAU, or even a lot in comics. He seems to feel ostracised by the rest of the family, because of his upbringing, the same way many Arabs and other ethnic minorities felt at this time. Damian being white passing also meant that he perhaps reflected the Arab youth in America who were not so outwardly ostracised by their peers due to the racial and religious tensions in the country. He was also introduced in or around 2006 (I can’t remember the exact date) where the youth were, again, largely viewed as rebellious or hooligans, which is NOT reflected in his character, not that I can think of any examples.

Anyway. That’s it for the essay, let me know if I missed something, or got something wrong, and thank you for reading till the end!

#batfam #batman #tim drake #dc comics #jason todd #damian wayne #dc #dick grayson #steph brown #dc robin #robin #robins #this took me about two hours yall better appreciate it

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askagamedev · 3 months ago

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Shouldn't Overwatch also have the same problem then in regards to visual clarity? I'm sure if you were to give people Juno and Brigitte people would struggle telling what their role is probably confusing Brigitte as a Tank given she has a shield just like Reinhardt. Only Baptiste has said cross on his outfit which if he didn't people might confuse him from DPS since he carries a healing grenade launcher. Yet the only character design problem ive seen people talk about is Venture.

While this is true, it's a very different situation. Overwatch is an old game, it's been running for eight years now. When Overwatch launched, there wasn't anywhere near the kind of well-established competition that there is today. When Overwatch launched, there was no Apex Legends, Paladins, Deadlock, Quake Champions, or Valorant. Further, Overwatch's launch cast was designed with incredible visual clarity - nearly every character had a silhouette and visual design that both made them distinct and conveyed their style of gameplay. There's a pair of business terms for this kind of thing - Blue Ocean vs Red Ocean.

A Blue Ocean is mostly unexplored and pristine - you're entering a market that's mostly untouched and there isn't much competition. This favors the first-mover advantage - the first ones there have more time to experiment, set things up, and learn from their mistakes. The customers/players in that market don't have anywhere else to go if they want their gameplay, so you can afford to make mistakes, iterate, and improve. Since there aren't many other games to switch to, the players will likely stick with what they are already familiar with.

A Red Ocean is a saturated market, where the waters have been dyed red with the blood of all of the dead or dying competition. There's already a lot of competition, meaning that any new product must stand out significantly from its peers or it will soon die from lack of audience. In a Red Ocean, the initial launch is much more important because you never get a second chance at that first impression. Further, audience retention is also super important because of how much competition there is - a new product might be able to draw some attention just from the novelty, but novelty wears off quick and most of the players already know the genre and the other games available. If the new game doesn't serve their needs immediately, the players won't give it the time to improve - they'll just go to one of the competitors that already does serve their needs.

We can't really compare the two games in a vacuum, we must compare the full environment that the games launched in. Overwatch had the added benefit of significantly less competition in its Blue Ocean, meaning that the playerbase really didn't have anywhere else to go while they waited for Overwatch to improve things. Concord was unable to grab attention immediately in a Red Ocean, meaning any potential audience quickly dispersed themselves among the large number of competitors already out there.

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#blue ocean #red ocean #target audience #saturated market #player mentality #the business of video games

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miraculousladybugconfessionbox · 13 days ago

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((Person has said they do not mind being Anonymous. So confession sent in by @tanookireviews, a friend of mine!) Note this is LONGGG but really well in depth!)

Transcript: I may not know much about this show but from experience talking about it with a friend, the designs are awful. I'm gonna explain why by comparing Marinette/Ladybug from Miraculous Ladybug to Ren/Joker from Persona 5.

Let's begin with the obvious reason. Marinette's designs barely differ from each other.

The entire show relies on her having a secret identity…so tell me why the design barely does any to differ her civilian form from her ladybug form besides the mask and skin suit. No amount of phantom masking or some shit can tell me that I can't recognise her in that damn suit.

Now let's take a look at Ren and see how he differs.

Notice anything different about Ren/Joker's design? Simple. It's interesting and distinct.

While it's easy to know who he is just from a glance, that's not the entire point of it. Plus no one actually sees the design in the real world and only under specific circumstances.

Even then his designs works because of the fact that both are different yet interesting. The first design is simple but it works because of the fact Ren is supposed to blend into the crowd. It's also that way because he's the silent protagonist and the self-insert for the player. His phantom thief design works because it's the complete opposite of real world design while still making sure it's interesting, right down to his clothing and various other bits.

Marinette doesn't have those qualities. Her design is simple but doesn't work because of how bland it is with the hero design being even blander than it actually should be. A lot of what makes superheroes interesting is their flashy outfits. Even simple ones such as Spider-Man work because while it is just a skintight suit, it adds a lot to make it distinct and that's how Ren wins while Marinette fails.

Speaking of distinct, Silhouettes! A lot of what makes a good character design is a silhouette. It's a major principle in the art world to ensure that characters are recognisable. Even if the character design is simple, a silhouette can go a long way to sell your idea.

Now does Marinette/Ladybug have that?

Hahahaha!

Fuck no

Marinette and Ladybug's silhouettes completely fail. They look generic and fail to stand out in my opinion. The silhouettes also fail to differentiate from each other in terms of outfits. If I were shown these without knowing its origin, I'd assume it would be the same suit she's wearing.

How about we go back to Ren then? Let's see how he's doing.

These feel heavily distinct from each other and are actually interesting silhouettes. The first silhouette is simple but the pose that Ren strikes help make him stand out. His second silhouette not only surfs and turfs Ladybug out the salad bar but with the usage of posing again along with different shapes connected to his design, his design has this sense of creativity and intrigue that I do not get with Ladybug.

Y'know what? How about I show you a collage of

Every

Single

Persona protag and their silhouettes

Look at these guys and use the same logic as before

Actually interesting designs

Distinct and somewhat recognisable silhouettes

An overall sense of more time and creativity put into it

The Persona series proves you can have simple designs and make them stand out.

And before you say "Ladybug is a show made for children"...are you trying to imply that children don't deserve good media and designs?

You can have a piece of children's media that includes good and interesting designs

Want an example?

I'll give you a good one!

This is a piece of artwork from 2001 made for the game Klonoa 2 Lunetea's Veil and it looks absolutely stunning. Not only does the visuals look nice but Klonoa and Lolo look good too. Not only do their designs contrast with each other but they are appealing to the eyes and have distinct shapes and colours to make them feel interesting and part of the world they're from.

Plus with Klonoa's distinct features (those being his ears, cap and various other parts of his body), they make a silhouette. Not just any silhouette but a very nice and interesting one that helps him feel recognisable.

So yeah I'm starting this blog off strong. I'm sorry if I rambled too much but I just wanted to point out how bad designs are in this show compared to other things out there.

Thanks for coming to my ted talk.

#miraculous #ask #ask blog #cat noir #miraculous ladybug #miraculoustalesofladybugandcatnoir #ladybug and chat noir #ml ladybug #tales of ladybug and cat noir #ask away #confession #confession box #miraculous lb

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uss-edsall · 6 months ago

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I genuinely think one of the best videoogame announcement trailers ever belongs to Wolfenstein: The New Order. Rebooting an old franchise for a new decade, it had to make a distinctive splash, and it did so with aplomb. I adore it because of the visuals and music alike. Under the cut below's an infodump looking through the scenes.

The music is composed by Mick Gordon of future DOOM fame, and is a mix that adds an excellent prequel to Jimi Hendrix's All Along The Watchtower. This is especially poignant considering Hendrix is, quite literally, a fairly prominent character in the game.

As for visuals, oh, where to start? Well, at the beginning.

It starts with automation, showing something being built - the Nazi World. The first thing this creation does is erode and collapse the Eiffel Tower, in the reflection of the machine carving out the Wolfenstein symbol, and in the process showing the subjugation of France. "It was a remaking," as Blazkowicz says.

Up next is London Bridge in a pool of water, a cooling pool for superheated metals. Barrage balloons hang above her... and then the jagged metal comes into frame. It cuts to five of them, fashioned into sharp knives - and they're plunged into the pool with an audio cue, the shadows of murdered humanity rises in the steam, alongside faint screams.

London, and Britain soon after, has fallen. "Unethical," indeed, Blazkowicz.

The next shot showcases the bullets being created. The drumbeats match that of a marching military unit, a Nazi parade goosestepping on the wall behind a conveyor belt. Upon it, bullets are being created, the Nazi war machine is ascendant, on the march, towards its next conquest.

Imperfections are carved out of the helmet of the chassis. In the sparks is shown the Statue of Liberty, wreathed in flame - and as the music swells, she loses her head and is visibly damaged.

The armour turns as the factory works on it, showing the Empire State Building defining the New York City cityscape. Bombers are in her skies, flames wreath her buildings, and she burns. "Some... unthinkable." The Nazis have come to American shores - and defeated the Arsenal of Democracy.

The weapons are loaded. Finishing touches on the robot's eyes. The World War is long over - this is a Nazi machine now. The music drops perfectly into the real intro of All Along The Watchtower. "Now they've built a new world..."

The eyes spark to life, an evil red. A flash of lightning pouring rain. "Armies, of steel, and thunder..." It pans out to show an army of robots just like the one we watched being built. "They're rewriting history..."

Captain William Blazkowicz, standing proud and defiant, shotguns in both hands. He can take 'em. He can take all of 'em. Finally, stopping on a key visual and showing the title Wolfenstein: The New Order...

"But they forgot about me."

In my opinion, I think it's not only a fantastic trailer in terms of visual and musical design, it was a great way to announce the return of the franchise. In a minute and thirty seconds, they depict the destruction of the Allied powers, the fall of democratic civilisation. But here comes our dashing hero, our growling classic FPS soldier man, back again - ready and willing to wreak havoc and kill nazis.

#Wolfenstein

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crystalelemental · 2 months ago

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Full tierlist is here, breakdown of the S-tier. As the youth say, these are my blorbos. The kids still say blorbo, right?

In all seriousness, this is going to be the longest part by far. The major difference between A-tiers, who are largely some of my favorites you may have seen me talk about a lot, and the S-tiers here, is that S-tiers are so personally compelling they define my attachment to the series. I am going to talk A Lot. So, reverse order, let's talk about S-tier.

Clair Crystal Lore: I am a younger cousin of a particularly talented older cousin. I'm sure this immediately sets the stage for why I like Clair so much. Having her try so hard to be stronger than the talented older cousin, and being Very Angry that she can't seem to be no matter what she does, resonated with me profoundly. The very first fanfiction I wrote was as a roughly ten year old child, giving her the victory over Lance I felt she deserved, and nearly two decades later I recreated it in one of my personal favorite fics. Clair just got me.

In terms of what she is within the series, Clair, like Whitney, exudes personality in a short window of time. Uniquely, Clair refuses to give you a badge after you beat her, demanding you go through an additional trial. Notably, this mimics modern games giving their pre-match trials that feel completely pointless, but instead of a time waster, Clair's actions define who she is. She's a sore loser who cannot stand when others are recognized as being more capable than her. She hates that Lance seems to be the favorite, she hates that the Elder doesn't recognize her, she hates that this random challenger can waltz in and beat her. She's set to refuse accepting you passed the trial, until threatened with consequences of...telling Lance. Which she considers a big enough deal to relent. She hates that he's the favorite...but she does respect him. It's an absolutely divine presentation of this kind of dynamic, for a hot-headed character seeking recognition, feeling like they're overshadowed.

The fun is that Clair, at least visually and in team composition, is highly distinct from Lance despite both being dragon tamers. This is something HGSS loses a bit given evolutions and team expansions, but Clair is defined as someone aligned to the sea, while Lance is defined as someone aligned to the skies. It's a common joke that Lance is secretly a Flying trainer, but that's by design. He is master of the skies, high above the rest of the world. And in contrast, Clair belongs to the seas, with an ace defined by its presence deep below the waves, and a typing that leaves its sole vulnerability as other Dragons. Symbolically, this is an excellent presentation of how she perceives her relationship to Lance. That sense of inferiority in comparison to him is, quite literally, her core weakness.

When I write Clair, I like to think a lot about what she'd be with age. As the cools off, I imagine her to be more introspective and reflective, moving from the external comparison to the people she respects but feels she cannot measure up to, to comparison to her past self and where she's going in her own life. This is undoubtedly projection, but Clair has always been a profoundly important character to me because of that personal connection.

Cynthia Perhaps my most normie opinion of the entire tier list: Cynthia is really cool actually. I feel like there are not many people willing to argue this, save to be contrarian. Which, mood, I'll get to that, but call it what it is. Cynthia's an excellent design, and a notoriously difficult challenge that keeps her ranked as a favorite for most. Yet at the same time, I am also part of the group that gets really frustrated with the general fan perception of Cynthia. Part of that is...too much waifu-ing of a character who Does Not Look LIke That, but in equal measure, people tend to over-emphasize the coolness of Cynthia and ignore that she's kind of a massive dork.

What's presented in-game is honestly fascinating in comparison to her predecessors. Consider previous champions. Blue is the son of Professor Oak, the most esteemed researcher in the series. Lance is the prodigy son of a prestigious line of dragon tamers. Steven is the son of a powerful CEO of the foremost company in Hoenn. By comparison, Cynthia is the granddaughter of the chief of a podunk village in the middle of bumfuck nowhere mountain. Cynthia's rise is from relative obscurity, and what she does with this fame is...kinda wander around pursuing her personal interests. She takes after Steven in this way, being a recurring presence in the player's adventure, but never really taking over the spotlight.

Much like Dawn, her personality is solidified by her contrast to Cyrus, who exists in opposition to human spirit, and more thematically, to emotion. Like Volo and Cogita, her namesake can align to the "I think/wish/feel, therefore I am," with Cynthia being the "feel." She is wholly emotional, driven by her internal whims and what captures her interest. She's open and earnest, almost to a fault, being willing to address Cyrus' philosophical inquiries with "If you hate people so much, just go live by yourself, I don't care about your tantrum."

Following her feelings is what leads to her arrival in Unova. She literally spends half a year, every year given she's in both games, just hanging out at the beach with her girlfriend/wife Caitlin, and exploring ruins. At no point is the question of whether whether she should spend so long away from her job important to her. Cynthia travels when and where she wants, and more importantly, crashes at a "friend's" place while doing it. Masters expands on this a bit, confirming that part of her reason is that Darach tidies up for her. She's bad at housekeeping, tends to make a mess of everything, and she likes having someone help take care of it for her. The illustrious Champion of Sinnoh cannot clean her room. That's endearing to me.

Cynthia, for all her perceived polish, is a massive nerd and a domestic disaster, and that's fantastic. I love a character that can present as effortlessly cool and a complete dweeb depending on circumstance. The level of excitement and whimsy she expresses about legends and myths and her research, before she goes into Serious Battle Mode and stomps your shit in, is the sauce that makes her so appealing. I don't think you can have a truly engaging Cynthia without both sides in play.

Geeta In very provable terms, Geeta is the least popular champion in the series. People, broadly, Do Not Like Her. Part of this is comparative. In a game that introduced a ton of strong and present personalities, Geeta does fail to stand out, being more downplayed and seemingly all business polish. When you're surrounded by lunatics, being the "normal" one is less appealing (see my stance on Larry). Part of this is fan response to the concept of having a boss, actively vilifying her for incredibly benign actions, and making absolutely wild assumptions about her leadership style and capabilities based on incomplete information. I'm not beating around the bush on this one, I think people are overtly hostile to Geeta for no reason, and it's become a self-reinforcing stance in fandom as people flock to the general consensus. And me? I am many things. A massive hater, deeply biased by aesthetics, possibly too old to write this many words about a children's series for children. But the very core of my being, is being contrarian. And damn if her spot here isn't everyone else's fault.

Let's address the former issue. Geeta, in presentation, comes off very down-played, being the polished and calm business woman who, by appearance, exudes too little to stand out. This is facade. Just like Larry, Geeta self-identifies as fairly normal, but is possibly the least hinged of any particular group. When Penny hacks into the League system and embezzles tens of thousands of dollars in funds, her response is "That's awesome. Buff up our security system and we won't tell the feds." I have seen people spin this to "Geeta is blackmailing Penny," in case we want to keep counting of meaningless vilification attempts. Geeta is lackadaisical about rules and, apparently, legality. When you go into Area Zero without permission, it's Rika that snaps at you about breaking rules. Geeta thinks it's fine, and is giving special permission to people outside her institution to explore.

Her battle also highlights a lot of how she is as a person. Like okay, I'm assuming everyone landed critical hits, or had her get a lucky shot in, right? If you didn't, the short is that Geeta comments on everything, but it comes across as wildly condescending. "Surely this isn't enough to deter you," "Yes, that's the correct move in this situation." She seems really smug, but the thing is...she's being genuine. She's clapping for you, smiling the same way she always does. She does think you're doing a good job and is trying to be encouraging, and is so so bad at it. I think there's a reason she considers Nemona her sort of successor; she likely sees a lot of herself in Nemona's complete lack of social grace. She is singularly driven to make Paldea's league exceptional, and despite her efforts to be encouraging and enthusiastic, comes across as condescending or insincere, and I don't read that as intentional from her at all. Despite claims that they were obviously setting up Villain Geeta, she's been on the level the whole time. She's just awkward, guys.

When I write her, this is what I like to lean into. She is deeply awkward, and has no idea what she's supposed to be doing outside of her job. She runs two organizations, and has zero known personal hobbies. In many ways, she's a foil to Larry. Larry doesn't like his position, but as a means to an end, has thrown his entire life into work in hopes of an early escape, with nothing to fall back on. Geeta knows nothing but her work, and is likely to die at her desk. She knows what she likes, but doesn't know how to act outside of that, and it rubs people wildly the wrong way.

Which leads to the second issue. Fan perception of her is starkly negative, and this personal friction leads to assessments of her abilities that are wildly critical given that we don't know what she stepped into. Consider Paldea as a whole. This is the only region where we have a legitimate, fully funded Academy for research. Trainer Schools in other regions are exclusively for battling, but Paldea, uniquely, has Pokemon Biology, Home Ec, Mathematics, as if any ten year old needs to know that shit when you have dinosaurs that are your friend. No other region provides such a robust set of studies for future career paths. Paldea's League, then, is in direct competition with all of these other fields of study, in a way other regions are not. Of course there's not as much money behind it, it has significant competition.

Despite this, people will assert that it is Geeta's poor management that results in Gym Leaders taking a second job, when...Unova. Unova also has Gym Leaders take on secondary, more lucrative positions, and no one criticizes Alder's management skills. If anything, Geeta is keenly aware of the fact the League doesn't pay well, but still expects her Leaders to at least care about their job. Notably, no one gets fired. The Leaders remain despite the performance review, and despite many showing outright apathy about the position. Moreover, while it's not necessarily her doing (though I assume it is), the LP system subsidizes pay. This one gets her a lot of flak too, calling LP a form of company scrip (Vilification Count: 2), but last I checked, company scrip cannot be used at your local independent hot dog stand, with a 1:1 ratio for actual cash. If anything it's the polar opposite; lacking in direct funding to pay better, a system was implemented in which League members, in addition to their actual wages, receive LP that operates, somehow, at a 1:1 value with proper currency. This is both a brilliant move to incentivize people to take the positions, and an outright miracle of bureaucracy that she got nearly every organization in the country to agree to it.

I can go on about her battle being badmouthed as poor design, and how that's really just game design failing an otherwise competent team, but I've done that before and I don't want to spend forever one one character. My point is, Geeta is the closest I come to "Everyone else is interpreting this character wrong." Geeta is absolutely fascinating to me. She wants so badly to make the League as grand as any other, and in the face of massive competition that puts them in a less favorable position, has largely risen to the occasion. She's not perfect. She makes Katy hold back so challengers experience early success, which is behaviorally sound for competitors, but unsatisfying to her employee. She's not infallible.

But she cares deeply for her people, and wants the best for them. That's why she doesn't just ignore Penny's actions, she offers her a job putting her known skills to positive use and guiding a career. That's why she "forces" Larry to use Flying types; she's aware he's in a rut and doesn't love what he does, and is nudging him to expand his interests and horizons. That's why she has Nemona sit out of the Academy Ace Tournament; difficult as it is for her, Nemona is gearing up to take her place as Top Champion, and needs practice organizing the event rather than being its top competitor. People don't really like her for it. Again, social graces are nonexistent, and her sense of what's right to do isn't always what people want. But there's a reason those performance reviews end with everyone showing renewed interest and investment in their positions. Contrary to popular belief, Geeta knows what she's doing, and is damned good at it.

Valerie Aesthetically perfect, I adore Valerie's design. What pushed her over the edge is a particular bit of dialogue from someone in the hotels who talks about various characters. He tells you that "Miss Valerie" is actually from Johto. Her fashion is largely centered on Johto fashion, but she came to Kalos for reasons we don't really know. Which should get the brain juices flowing. For me, the connection was obvious: from Johto, kimono-based attire, mains an Eeveelution. That is a Kimono Girl. Formerly, at least, but that is a Kimono Girl, you cannot convince me otherwise.

So then Masters jumps in, produces the Silver and Ho-oh event where she knows all about Ho-oh...only for them to have her say "Sorry, I'm not, I just know a lot about it." Which...okay. I'm choosing to interpret that as strictly literal. She is not, in this iteration, a Kimono Girl. But either she was and is no longer, or wanted to be. This is fan speculation in spades at this point, but that's half the fun, right?

In the former case, it's...kind of whatever. It implies that she got bored or something, but the conclusion is she left of her own accord. Perhaps to pursue fashion, who knows. But I find these conclusions relatively boring. They don't really lead you anywhere. The latter case, however, has implications. Did she want to become one but couldn't? Why couldn't she? Did she fail out? That seems unlikely, given her knowledge of relevant Johto mythology and working understanding of Johto fashion. Was she not allowed to become one? Why not? Is the position something you're born into, and despite how much she admired them, she just couldn't follow those footsteps? Or was something else in play? I have an answer, but I'm literally in process writing a fic with my answer and don't want to spoil that, so look forward to it, shameless plug.

My point is that, very succinctly, Valerie is the kind of character who is sprinkled with just enough connected dots that you can really run wild with speculation about what her deal is. And her deal becomes exponentially more fascinating when she talks about wanting to literally become a Pokemon, Mystery Dungeon style. Valerie, what in god's name does that mean? Like you want to look like one? Your clothes do weight thirty-three pounds, apparently, so dedication to the need for fairy wings. Or do you want to physically metamorphose into a fairy? Do you assume that's possible based on the forbidden Sinnoh deeplore we're all now privy to? How do you expect to...actually, talk to Opal, she may know a thing or two.

Valerie just winds up being a favorite off of aesthetic preference, and finding her really interesting to speculate about. I can safely say she's probably the "shallow" favorite of the seven, but there's a reason she's #4. I think there's a lot of enjoyment to be had with speculation about a character, where canon doesn't answer too much for you but gives just enough to really get you thinking about it. Also I think all gym leaders should be completely unhinged, my biggest criticism of Galar is that everyone's kinda downplayed, and Valerie is one of the least hinged characters we get in the series. I love her dearly.

Roxanne I have a strong affinity for the straight-laced, serious, studious types. Needless to say, Roxanne is so in this category that, when I first played Sapphire, Roxanne was my favorite instantly. There is a cute bookworm girl who is really into cool rocks? I like cool rocks! Attachment established.

The core of "cute nerd who is deeply fixated on her interest" is the appeal. Roxanne is an absolute treasure, being deeply invested in rocks because she is a lover of history, and rocks (specifically, fossils and such) tell a story about the ancient past. She'd get along well with Cynthia, is all I'm saying. But within her own region, she has the closest connection to Steven, her Rock Pal, who she talks with endlessly about different rocks and stones. What's fun is the contrast. Steven's appeal to rocks seems to be that he finds them pretty and likes the rare ones. He's the equivalent of a card collector who likes showing off the shiny reverse holo foil he pulled. Roxanne, however, is about story. She actually knows how to play the game and maybe this common isn't flashy and impressive, but she loves the tricks it can pull and thinks the art really captures the story they're telling through the flavor text.

There's also her teacher/tutor angle, depending on perceived age (recently leaked documents state 14, though your stance on unreleased internal documents that have very evidently changed is up to you). Roxanne knows a lot, but is also someone who wants to share that knowledge with others. She seems to like working with kids, doing so voluntarily and, presumably, does a good job. Her younger gym trainers all seem to look up to her, anyway. She is admired for her skills and knowledge, if nothing else.

Fan perception, but it's her social relationships I think bear examination. She has Steven, who...we never see directly interact with her in the series proper. And she allegedly has Brawly, who she interacted with in the demo of ORAS but again, never in series. She just mentions getting your number from him, so we know they're in communication, but nothing else. And the thing is, while she is admired for being the top of the class student, that tends to come with some social distance, as she may seem more unapproachable. Add in a tendency to start monologuing in really technical detail about her specific area of interest that not many others are going to reciprocate, and you have a good recipe for a character who is, at some level, rather isolated. There's a reason that, even within Masters, her only close associations seem to be other Rock-type trainers, who share her fervor for rocks.

Masters added dialogue about how she always wanted to train a Golem specifically. This feels like a minor detail, but (1) Geodude is fairly common, so this isn't particularly unreasonable for most people, except that (2) it's a trade evolution. To make that, specifically, your distant goal that you're hoping to one day achieve implies that...you don't have someone to trade with. You're easily talented enough to train up to a Graveller. But Golem? That requires something that goes a step outside of your knowledge. Which is the premise of another fic I wrote, are you sensing a pattern?

Despite this, Roxanne never really seems lonely or sad, or even all that concerned about it. She's the type to be perfectly fine with a small, close circle of friends she gets along with. And it's not that she can't adapt to other areas of interest, she teaches for god's sake. But she knows what she likes and stays true to that, pulling just enough competence to interface well with anyone she needs to.

Roxanne, similar to Clair, hits at a very personal level, even if some of that is due to strictly personal interpretation. While I will often bemoan fandom tendency to big up random characters that are canonically blank slates, I do at least understand the personal connection to a character based on what you've perceptually built of them. Roxanne is, in many ways, that kind of character to me.

Jasmine I am a slut for Johto. By region, it is my favorite, it's a nostalgia thing, it is part of my soul, it will never leave me. In particular, I attached very strongly to Olivine, a city near the sea. While not quite the same thing, I spent a lot of my younger days near the water, and feel a profound connection to it. Olivine felt deeply like home to me because of that. If I were going to have my own Pokesona, which is definitely not a thing I did as a child, they'd live in Olivine. And naturally, this meant there was connection with Jasmine.

Aesthetically, Jasmine is another that just clicks with me. Incredibly cute design, backed by an ace that is a giant metallic snake monster. You have no idea how much I love that Masters kept this going by giving her Celesteela. Jasmine's just a fun and eye-catching look, especially with the HGSS redesign.

Her personality is best encapsulated in her intro. "I use the - Clang! - Steel type! ...do you know about Steel type? They are very cold, sharp, and really strong. Um...I'm not lying." First note: Jasmine describes her type in very tactile terms. She is someone who thrives on the sensory, and appreciates the qualities of cold, sharp, and the noise they make, with her "Clang!" in Masters' sync moves being interpretable as a vocal stim at this point. Second note: she introduces herself and her type, and then the script falls apart, so she just starts talking about her favorite type. There's even a delay before she starts talking again, implying a bit of silence as nothing happens. Third: following that, there's another pause, where she tries to fill the silence and what she comes up with is an incredibly awkward "I'm not lying" before giving up and just starting the fight. Our girl is incredibly awkward, and I adore her. Because despite this, she tries to break out of that mold.

Jasmine is very mild-mannered and soft-spoken, often apologetic and uncertain, but she tries. Jasmine is constantly pushing herself to move out of her comfort zone. She's one of few characters who actively travels to another region. We find her in Sinnoh, where she's taken up Contests as well, which I always interpreted her as being particularly invested in personal experiences. Yet where we find her is Sunyshore. By the sea. It's comforting to her. It reminds her of home. What the game shows us is a young girl who is deeply socially anxious, trying her best to push herself to get out there. She's doing it scared, but by god, she is doing it.

We also get more of her general life, given the little mini events in HGSS. We get to know that Jasmine is a huge eater despite her slender frame (girl, same), and we get to see her talk to Erika, who she cannot socially keep up with. Erika has her flustered in like fifteen seconds flat. And god bless Masters, because when Jasmine talks about Erika, it is in absolutely gushing praise with literal hearts bursting over her, transitioning immediately into blushes and insistence you never tell Erika because that's really embarrassing. Girl is down bad for the girl who...kinda teases her for giggles. That's her best friend/girl crush. I'm not even theorizing, Masters has basically canonized that.

Jasmine is just an entire mood, being socially withdrawn but trying to branch out, awkward but trying so hard to engage with people, pushes herself to do all the things she desperately wants to experience, and finds comfort in the ocean and her preferred sensory input. She feels like one of the most fleshed out characters in very little time on screen, and unlike many who get development, hers is less about grand sweeping character arcs, and more about her day to day. It's about knowing the kind of person she is. I find her deeply relatable, and delightfully charming.

Caitlin Among the many archetypes that capture my interest immediately, there is no more powerful category than "Has very strong emotions, does not understand them at all." When you combine this with a wealthy lady who barks orders, I stand literally no chance. Getting to know about EVs and competitive stuff was the worst thing to ever happen to me, but it did mean I challenged the Platinum Frontier, and I cannot begin to tell you what Caitlin did to me at that age. Seeing her come back in BW1, now a member of the Elite Four using my favorite type in Psychic, was an instant kill. No one did it like Caitlin.

Of course, this is the initial hook that would eventually drag me directly into gacha hell once again. Seriously, I picked up Masters specifically because I wanted to play as Caitlin. What drew me to her was the background they go in to.

See, Psychic, as a type, is often associated not with thought, but with feeling. With empathy. Sabrina initially asserts that everyone has some Psychic power, they just don't realize it, with the implicit lesson being that your ability to connect with others and to feel things out is a form of psychic power. Tate and Liza show similar given their coordination tactics. Caitlin is the next evolution of that, taking the concept of "Psychic powers as emotional strength" to a different conclusion. Specifically, what happens when you can't control it?

In Platinum, Caitlin is forbidden from battling. They don't really go in depth about why, just that she can't, so Darach does it for her. When we meet in Unova, the answer is explained: "the force of my emotions shook me greatly. When my power awoke, I came close to destroying everything around me." She's even clear about what the emotion was, talking about how she's never beaten Cynthia, and would explode with rage. She doesn't handle losing well, and has eruptive psychic power that make it actively dangerous for her to get mad.

Caitlin is someone with anger issues, whose understanding of elegance and poise is to just not do that at all. Just don't get mad. She even refers to that time as her "weak self," as if trying to distance from that part of her. But while battling, when you get to her last Pokemon, she says she needs to stay cool and collected no matter what, as if talking herself through it. And in her villa, she'll talk about how she thinks it's better to just have no psychic power at all, than power you can't control. Using the "Psychic powers as channeling feeling," she's someone who thinks it's better to feel nothing than to feel out of control. There's a reason I think she and Cyrus would have stuff to talk about.

By BW2, Caitlin has dropped the "weak self" and no longer talks herself through things while on the verge of losing, instead presenting as much calmer and even enjoying the match. But that personal philosophy stays. She pursues this notion of an ideal, elegant self, but that self is one completely divorced from the things she is feeling. And it's only through experience confronting those emotions and working through them that she actually starts to properly adapt.

Specifically, losing to Cynthia got her used to it, and helped her learn to calm down. In her position as Elite Four, losing to the protagonists (and likely Iris) further built familiarity. She keeps it in check now. It's delightfully powerful, and resonates very strongly on a personal level. As someone who has also had difficulty controlling frustration and anger, and also internalized shame over it to the point you think the only thing to expect is Never Get Mad, Caitlin lands extremely hard.

Coincidentally, this is also part of why Caitlin/Cynthia is my big pairing. Cynthia, canonically, is part of what got Caitlin to where she is. Their battles taught Caitlin to accept loss, and Cynthia's continued presence with her through explosive outbursts shows a level of trust and care that is, frankly, rare in the series. Friendship is a huge thematic point of Pokemon, but in many cases it's interest in similar things, or that sort of kid friendship where you both are playing in the same sandbox and therefore are friends right now. Caitlin and Cynthia have this incredibly fascinating backstory of a girl who could not control her power, and a girl who stuck with her until she could. Even if you're weirded out about age gap or just don't like the ship, there's something uniquely powerful to their dynamic I don't think you can get anywhere else in the series.

Caitlin is just the most personal connection I have ever gotten out of a Pokemon character. She is the ideal aesthetic, she mains the best type, she's a powerful temper doing her best to be composed, grappling with internalized shame and a desire to be rid of those feeling entirely, but makes her way through to better control it without suppressing who she is. It's like I said, absolutely no one did it like Caitlin.

Shameless Self-Promotion If you read through all 39 of those paragraphs, maybe you would like to read 39 other paragraphs of fanfiction? If so inclined, here's the link to my AO3 account, where I have written:

Several Caitlin/Cynthia fics, and some Caitlin-specific fics

Geeta-positive propaganda

General-rated Volo fic, which one comment tells me is super rare

WataOshi fic, but not a pairing anyone cares about

That one Little Goody Two Shoes fic

Among others. I also cross-post each fic under this tag on Tumblr, with some commentary if you're into that sort of thing. I've been working on new projects that should hopefully start going live by the end of the week too. I'm hoping to have one or two up tonight, we'll see.

#pokemon tier list #pokemon characters tier list #pokemon replays #pokemon #caitlin #jasmine #roxanne #valerie #geeta #cynthia #clair

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shizukateal · 7 months ago

Text

Miraculous Ladybug Magical Girl Fashion Review -Part 1

Preamble

Ok, so. What do you people generally think of as a "superhero outfit"? Spandex, right? Tight-skinned, uninterrupted spandex covering almost all the body, or at least not straying away from the body line if you're a girl and only get a swimsuit. Maybe a cape (hood optional) depending on how dramatic you are to add some flow or, if you're a woman, your hairstyle will do that job. Otherwise you can have some form of helmet or headpiece to distinguish yourself, and that's it. That's the extent of options you have. If you're extremely lucky, they might allow you to wear a jacket.

While this description might be a bit of an exaggeration (not by much, though) I think we can all agree that this is a very restrictive set of rules to work with. It's very hard to make something that completely contours to the body visually compelling. It's hard to distribute colors and shapes and patterns in a neat way that makes you stand out when you have to compete with thousands of millions of characters with the same 3 allowed bodytypes (lean, broad, or Woman™️). Which is why we should clap even more at designs like the DC holy trinity and especially Spiderman, who not only has a fantastic design in spite of how alienating it should be, but whose look is also currently inspiring thousands of artists to make their own variations, technically also including today's very own Marinette Dupain-Cheng.

This is all a very lengthy way to say that some of the MLB people wear their fursuits better than the rest. Skin-tight onesies with fur patterns are not something everyone can pull off. Doubly so with how inconsistent the art direction in the show is, with everyone in the cast reaching different levels of uncanny valley and swagless drip. I personally think that many of them would do better if they thought a bit outside that box of "standard superhero fashion" and went for something more specific to the personalities of the characters, but there are some winners amongst the rabble. Much like the writing of the show itself, the show's design averages into a trashy sludge pile that still manages to look tempting thanks to some unexpected moments of competence. Let's sort through the pile *cracks knuckles*

Ladybug (standard and ultimate version)

You'd think it would be easy for me to just say "yeah, the bland, near fully uninterrupted polkadot bodypaint onesie is both boring and silly and the other more balanced version is a LOT better by comparison" and leave it at that, but unfortunately I also have to talk about the hairstyle. And the hairstyle is wrong in a very specific way which I don't have concise terms for, so I need you to pay attention and stay with me here.

The pigtails work well for Marinette. They are distinct, practical, realistic enough while bordering just slightly on the fantastic, and their mild childishness enhances Mari's romantic nature. In theory they also match the polka-dot theme and they are not impractical considering the function of Ladybug's suit, but they still go against what it's trying to do. There's probably a concrete term in shape and action line theory that better educated people than me know about, but to give you the gist of what I mean I'm gonna do another Shitty Paint Edit™️ so I don't go in too many circles explaining myself:

Ok, you get what I'm trying to say here now? The pigtails match the balance of this specific pose, but the suit is too skin-tight and it highlights Marinette's neck, so they interrupt the buildup. They don't even work well as pieces of flow for contrast, because the hair is so stiff and the ribbons are barely noticeable. Compare to itsanarkee's cosplay and how much better she looks because she has an updo. The worst part of it all is that, usually, matching a body-paint suit with a hairstyle to provide contrast in a female superhero is, like, babyshit, the bread and butter of superheroine costumes, but Astruc managed to find the one hairstyle in the world to make it work wrong because he was to proud about Marinette's design to change anything. Just give her the fucking buns already.

Chat Noir

He serves cunt. Pops pussy, if you will. The only very mild itch it gives me is that I can't see what his ears are attached to and it bothers me, although he's not the only one with that feature and I understand why they would want to hide a hair band especially in his design. I can forgive that when everything else in this design is genius. The belt tail. The way his mask sharpens his features alongside the hair and ears. The flaps on his boots and gloves that highlight how his movements put more weight in his joints. The acrylic claws, the paws on his boots. The lines that highlight his figure in just the right way. The fucking bell. Chat is easily the best design amongst the heroes.

And while this my purely subjective interpretation, I truly do think it's understated how much this outfit manages to sell Adrien's clark kenting. It makes complete and perfect sense to me at least that Marinette wouldn't recognize him like this. Adrien is just slightly generically pretty enough that you wouldn't assume they are the same person just because they're both blonde bishies, and the contrast between the two personas is high enough that it could be realistic that some people wouldn't put them together if they are not looking for that connection. Doubly so for Marinette, who is way too enamored with Adrien's personality of generic un-disruptive niceness with a touch of rich boy angst to fully reconcile it with Chat's outright spicier demeanor lightened with Pathetic Wet Beast Energy for potability.

Rena Rogue vs Volpina

Yeah, this one merits a comparison. It's a perfect example to elaborate on my first rule. Lila already stands out as another of the best human designs amongst the cast, and the sleaze she exudes lends itself a lot better to this slick body-paint tightness and form-highlighting curves. The tail-sash around her waist is also brilliant. She'd probably look even better in something more grounded, but the fact that she's already pulling the outfit off like this is still an accomplishment.

Rena Rogue on the other hand... well, everything around her head is very good and cute, and I especially appreciate the eyebrows on her mask. On paper I also like the top with its longtail, but overall Alya looks a lot blander than Volpina, because her outfit doesn't reflect her personality the way it does Lila's. It's not ugly, even if the patch of white starts to bother me because it has no interruptions as it goes down. In fact it succeeds in making Rena look kind of adorable, really, but Alya is not a cutesy girl, and tbh the overall general texture of the outfit is a lot more body spray-painting-ish than Volpina's, which also makes it look cheaper in a bad way.

The Fox miraculous may be summarized as the power of Illusion, but both girls represent two facets elaborating on that concept: where Lila is the Fox as Deceit, Alya is the Fox as Cleverness. So Lila may be... smart manipulative -Ok, sincerely speaking Lila Rossi is the single most blatant Villain Sue I have ever seen put onscreen, but what I'm trying to get at is that while she -supposedly- has some cunning, her pettiness and eagerness to speak on the fly is -or rather should be- a contrast to Alya, who goes around sniffing for the truth and thus always has a fuller picture. Because remember: the best liars tell the truth. So Rena's outfit should reflect that. It should be less slick and more street-savvy, something that the pendant with its long chain is especially well suited to.

Speaking of all these thematic parallels, am I the only one in the fandom who is extremely weirded out that Lila isn't a rival to Alya? Like, aren't they extremely obvious foils beyond both of them being fox-themed? The girl who bases her clout on lies vs the one who searches for the truth? The girl who pretends to be friends with Ladybug while bullying her civilian identity vs the girl who is friends with both? Have the writers ever exploited this ever since I stopped watching?

Carapace

Nino is almost perfect. I am genuinely impressed at how well they chose the angle of this costume. It's so easy for me to imagine a much shittier version with an ugly cowl/spiderman wannabe facemask -because other characters in this series take that approach-, but taking a page out of spider-gwen's book instead paid amazing dividends. He looks great as teenage not-mutant ninja turtle.

He only has two significant faults. One is that I feel his goggles should be tinted opaque orange, and he should wear a mask over his mouth and nose. You know, make the clark kenting a little easier, the stealth more pointed, maybe he can have a cool graffiti of a turtle beak over the mask for a sprinkle of his actual personality. The second is that the partition he chose for his crotch area is a bit iffy and yes, I am very sorry to talk about this. The shape of the partition itself is not bad but it's the same color, so it doesn't actually help the transition all that much and instead, sadly, it only brings more attention to the middle. My suggestion is that he should take a page out of Rise of the TMNT's book and make the plastron into actual armor that goes from his chest to his navel, instead of just a logo on the front. Then he can either wear black shorts or he can go the Rise!Casey Jones route and wear pants that are slightly baggy but still cinch to his ankles.

Then there's only one last thing he needs to be completely perfect and that is having an actual relationship with Master Fu since he is the direct successor of his miraculous and one of the first characters to be akumatized on account of his resentment towards adults, so I feel like there's a whole bunch of narrative foiling potential not being explored there, you get me?

Queen Bee vs Vesperia

Zoe's face is more interesting and I appreciate that, as well as the design team giving her a braid, but Chloe still wins this one. Vesperia's outfit is reasonably cool on its own, but it does very little aesthetically for her. Perhaps if the colors of her top and pants were inverted it could work, but there's something about the aggressive sharpness of its lines that Zoe's bubbly face is not matching, made worse by the black being at the forefront. That might not be a problem in civilian outfit, but only because that look is balanced with other colors. Or rather, I think she also needs a more casual fit to pull it off instead of a skin-tight jacket. I also get what they're trying to do with her bangs and I would love it were it not for the fact that it doesn't look good in this artstyle. Chloe also has that problem with her hair, but Queen Bee's style fits her a lot better in a much obvious way, and for added points I think Queen Bee wears the cord as a belt better too., so congrats to Chloe on her one win, I do hope the writing allows her to have proper character development later instead of constantly resetting her to square one for conflict.

#miraculous ladybug #marinette dupain cheng #cat noir #chat noir #adrien agreste #rena rouge #alya cesaire #volpina #chloe bourgeois #queen bee #nino lahiffe #carapace #zoe lee #vesperia #magical girl fashion

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princeescaluswords · 1 year ago

Note

Currently thinking of certain factions of fandom who tend to demonize Laura Hale. What exactly did she do that was so awful?

Leaving her injured and catatonic uncle in a care facility? Do they think he would've miraculously healed in New York if she brought him along (if that was even an option)? They seem to think she abandoned him or should've done more. What exactly, dear fandom?

Laura was a young woman who suffered a devastating loss and had to be the leader and look out for her younger brother and injured uncle. Cora was assumed dead too. Similar to Scott, she didn't ask to be alpha.

What did they expect her to do? Wage war against the perpetrators? She didn't know who was involved but she did return when Peter lured her. Fandom thinks she was unfit for the role of alpha because she wasn't ripping throats out and hunting down culprits, that she ~abandoned~ her uncle in a vulnerable state, blah blah.

The way they get angry at Scott disobeying Peter and Derek, you'd think they'd be livid over Peter killing his alpha who was also his niece who was the ~heir~ to Talia. Sacrilege!

Scott didn't ~trust~ Stiles? Well, Petey didn't trust his alpha! Why the secrecy? Why not report in immediately upon gaining consciousness?

*dons the stylish hat of Fandom Logic* Oh, oh Peter was involved in the Hale Fire! He always craved the mantle of alpha and needed Talia out of the way. But he got betrayed by Kate in the end and locked in with the rest of the family. That's why he insisted he's always been the alpha, he was promised the power if he helped destroy the pack. It's why he lured Laura back and killed her instead of communicating, he just wanted the power.

Your question puts me in mind of an argument both This Discontented Winter and Athena Dark have made to counter my indictments of fandoms worship of Peter Hale. To paraphrase TDW, "does all entertainment have to be a morality play?"

The simplistic answer to their bad faith riposte, is "No, it doesn't." You can watch two people sit in a room and not talk to each other. You can watch art hang motionless on a wall or paint dry, but these wouldn't be particularly popular forms of visual entertainment. What excites an audience is how the actors, the characters, the players treat each other, which is governed by principles concerning the distinction between right and wrong or good and bad behavior. In other words, morality.

People watch the Real Housewives franchise because they want to watch rich women behaving badly. People watch John Wick movies because they want to watch ultra violence performed without regard for human life and instead operate on a different code of behavior. Telenovelas, true crime documentaries, space operas, super hero movies -- all the pleasure their audiences gain from it revolve around decisions people make about how to treat each other. They watch it FOR the morality -- or the LACK of it.

The only forms of modern entertainment I can think of that don't focus on morality are professional sports and talent shows, and both of these take it as a given that neither side is cheating. Even Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom proposed to show us the behavior of animals so we can recognize their beauty and right to exist. My apologies to the BNF, but that's morality, too.

When This Discontented Winter bemoans the idea of all entertainment as morality play and Athena Dark that storytelling doesn't have to have a message, what they are in fact arguing for is the ability to celebrate evil. To freely indulge in the type of moral equivocation that allows them to take pleasure in the triumph of a man murdering his niece for power. You know how I know this, because if they truly wanted to enjoy something without the moral dimension, they wouldn't go to such great lengths to protect their blorbos from any moral condemnation.

Thus, we get the idea that Laura deserved death because she abandoned Peter in the long-term care facility, in which he rested safely for six years without the Argents even being aware of his location. We get the idea that Laura deserved death because she didn't seek vengeance for her family, even though she was absolutely looking for the person responsible for the death of her family -- we saw actual physical evidence of it. Thus we get the idea that Peter had no idea what he was doing, that he was out of his mind, only to find out later -- when none of the other characters believe that anymore -- that he was aware of what he was doing all along.

Remember Master Plan (2x12):

Peter: No. It's a laptop. What century are you living in? A few days after I got out of the coma, I transferred everything that we had. Fortunately, the Argents aren't the only ones that keep records.

Wow, that's a remarkable amount of foresight for a person who was supposedly so out of his mind that he shouldn't be held responsible for what he did.

The true problem with BNF trying to argue that we don't have to approach the show with an eye toward morality is because the show absolutely did. It was baked into the substance of the show from the get go. The characters are formed to make choices about how they treat other people. To use their own words, we have to treat the entertainment that is called Teen Wolf as a morality play because it IS a morality play. Every story is.

And this is the problem with fandom, which I've noted again and again and again in regards to Star Wars, Shadow and Bone, and now Loki. They want to extract the characters from the moral schema in which they were situated and put them in a new situation, yet pretend that there isn't a moral dimension to this act. And there is, because this new situation is one where only certain considerations are treated as valid, mostly exploitation of the baser instincts of human nature for the benefit of a very small class of stand-ins, defined by race, class, and gender.

#anti peter hale #fandom problems #fandom racism #fandom misogyny

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soracities · 2 years ago

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What do you think about the Waves by Virginia Woolf ?

i absolutely love love love love loved The Waves--it took me forever to read and i think it was taxing in a way too because the rhythm is so distinct; it's very much a book you need to take slowly and also meet on its own terms but oh god when you do!! the incantatory shimmering net of her prose !!! the stunning visual intensity she has (i don't know if i've come across a more visually alert writer (maybe banville); i distinctly remember woolf describing a dragonfly at some point like a darting stitch which to this day remains one of the most searingly accurate instances of language i've ever read) !!! this kaleidoscopic flow of voices, sounds, feelings...the motion throughout the whole book of moving within time then out of time, which is to say from time (days, hours etc) and into Time (historic time, recollected time, internal time as its felt not necessarily lived) and then back again--from the particular to the expansive, from painful isolation that can't seem to ever be broached to the interconnectedness that runs through all the book's voices--they're like disparate strings that are so distinct from each other and yet you also cannot sever them from one another either, i don't think: whenever the characters come together, even through their pettiness and misunderstandings, even through the nebulous notions of "self-hood" the book looks at ("Who am I? I have been talking of Bernard, Neville, Jinny, Susan, Rhoda, and Louis. Am I all of them? Am I one and distinct? I do not know."), there's this dazzling chorus that takes over the page which is just astonishing to read for me.

there is very little that is fixed in this book and while there is very much a sense of being tossed about, it never feels chaotic or haphazard to me because the mere fact of the book's fluidity and the recurring motion (either in its layout or in the images and the lines that keep getting repeated) is the one (relatively) solid thing that runs through it. it's fragmented in an amazingly cohesive way which is, i guess, what being is like: there is an individuality that is both here and not here, not unlike the constant interplay of light and shadows. i remember after reading it there was this line by octavio paz that i kept thinking of where he says "all is visible and all elusive, / all is near and can't be touched" which sums up so much of The Waves for me. it's a book that you kind of have to let happen to you, and even then i think it's something that one reading is nowhere near enough for! but anyways, yes, i loved it. a lot!!!

#v dear friend of mine said woolf is someone who never seems to put a word wrong and he's right entirely #ask #anonymous #book talks

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strawberrysweater · 2 years ago

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something i've thought about for a million billion hours even though it's probably not even this deep i just like danganronpa ok

i love how kaede shuichi and kiibo are all protagonists of v3 in their own ways: shuichi is the protagonist to the player, kiibo is the in-universe protagonist, and kaede is sort of... a protagonist only to herself. she tells us when we meet her and she wavers between being an in-universe protagonist and also just a plot twist device to the player. dr does this thing where every game has Character Archetypes and i like that "protagonist" is a role so strong that it has a defining physical trait (the ahoge) to the point that like. toko gains an ahoge in udg because she steps into that role. kaede shuichi and kiibo all have one. shuichi's is hidden under his hat only for him to reveal it after kaede dies and passes the role onto him. kiibo's is literally an antenna that i assume lets him receive wireless communication from audience surveys or whatever so it LITERALLY makes him a protagonist, it physically lets him fill that role. it's funny

AND i like the way they all deal with their protagonist roles - kaede and kiibo both do something that pushes them out of the role and breaks their narrative constraints, and it gets them killed and it falls to shuichi both times, someone who was never meant to have it in the first place. and THAT'S why he was able to end danganronpa for good because he's not tied down by the battle between hope and despair that every protagonist has had to go through (this is literally spelled out in the sixth trial you guys already know). i just love that theme of breaking everything and refusing to play a part, making your own meaning out of it, the importance of fiction and also of autonomy, etc. as soon as shuichi becomes the protagonist, the breaking down of the narrative is set in motion, and it culminates in the fourth wall being literally shattered. v3 is all about the reality inside the tv show, and i feel like anyone who steps out of their predestined role is able to see it, to feel it, even just a little...

like we have these two characters who are obviously protagonists who both act in their roles perfectly (kaede leading the group and wanting everyone to be friends and escape together without killing, kiibo listening to the audience and showing them the game and following hope) UNTIL they do something they weren't meant to do. a protagonist has never orchestrated a killing before. as soon as kaede started planning it, even if she ultimately failed at killing the mastermind or killing anyone at all, she was no longer a protagonist, because danganronpa protagonists don't kill

and because of kaito's execution, led up to from his and kokichi's last big fuck you to the narrative and the mastermind, kiibo is totally disconnected from his purpose and can do what he was never meant to do either. a protagonist is supposed to play along and win in the name of hope over despair (like how he acts as soon as he gets his connection to the audience back), not just indiscriminately destroy everything to bring the killing game down. he becomes a total wild card who breaks the fictional world apart, pulls aside the curtain, lets shuichi find out the flashback lights were fake, destroys the physical fourth wall for good, etc. and speaking of breaking the fictional world, when kaede "passes on her role" she literally causes the neon-lit-up trial UI to shut off and shuichi turns it back on again. a fantastic visual that has not left my brain. we love a kaede kiibo breaking the fiction parallel

tldr in both of these instances, kaede and kiibo stop being protagonists (in danganronpa's very distinct specific terms) and the role falls to shuichi, someone who was never meant to have it. and because of that, this danganronpa collapses in on itself. i think that's sick as hell

#meows #if i had time i could make this a much more well-structured essay type deal #like i have thoughts but this is the best i can do connecting them all rn #danganronpa v3 #danganronpa v3 spoilers #drv3 spoilers #it's so interesting thinking abt. the in-universe switch from video games to real life broadcasts #i imagine the protagonist role became much more fluid after that #this is saiibomatsu propaganda also. you will think about them with me

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demento-mori · 6 months ago

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18, 12, and 11 for the ask game?

18. how did you first hear about the show, and what made you want to watch it?

Ok so this story genuinely makes my blood boil because I was robbed. lied to. swindled even. So the first time id heard about the show was around 2017 i think? It was in some video about like, queer animation and the history of queer rep, that kinda stuff. I had also seen a few video thumbnails about the show that looked really interesting (like, there was this one called understanding utena or smth similar that used the art from the dvd covers, and I remember thinking how beautiful and visually distinct it looked) so it was on my radar and I planned to check it out at some point. BUT THEN.... I was watching some unrelated video and they brought up rgu in it... but the way they described the show was completely fucking misleading. Like, they basically described the show as "a slice-of-life high school fantasy yuri anime that has incest in it" WHICH IS A COMPLETE LIE BUT WHATEVER, but yeah since that description sounded so boring and generic it pretty much killed my interest in the show for a good while.

I only ended up getting into the show like a year or two ago. I saw a clip of the swords of hatred scene completely out of context and something about it was just so striking. Like, the black silhouettes against the stark red background, the way you can see the pain of each sword impact in the way she writhes and flinches, the lack of sound silencing her screams, the haunting, mournful music. You can feel her pain so viscerally. It left a really profound impact on me. I searched up and listened to the translyrics for missing link afterwards and that was equally as upsetting, hearing this girl wonder why she was even born if she only exists to suffer. So yeah, that was what finally convinced me to watch the show! Because I needed to find out what the fuck all that was about, and if that poor girl was okay.

So yeah, I probably wouldve watched it a lot earlier if it wasnt for some guy literally just lying about what the show was about.........

12. favorite black rose duelist

This is a complicated one because do I choose the black rose duelist who I enjoy the most overall as a character (which would be kozue, underrated icon and one of the most fascinating characters in the show in terms of her parallels with other characters and the ideas she embodies within the narrative, such as the sunlit garden), or do I choose the black rose duelist who I enjoy the most specifically as a black rose duelist (which would be wakaba, who has one of the most emotionally charged and violent duels in the entire series, literally breaks the duel format, and probably comes the closest to actually killing anthy). The answer is that its my blog and I can do what I want, so im choosing both!

11. favorite and/or most interesting relationship (doesn't have to be romantic)

Answered this one fully here, but Anthy and Utena's relationship is so so special to me and is one of my favourite aspects of the show. Bonus answer is the hypothetical kozue and nanami relationship that exists almost entirely in my head!

#thank you for the questions!!#rgu #revolutionary girl utena #asks

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witchycornerr · 2 months ago

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Haze Design Process

The 4th of 5 main characters, Haze. She is part of the red school. My goal with her was to read as an "approachable prodigy".

My 1st sketch ideation on what the red school's uniform would look like ended up being pretty far from what the final would turn out to be. Pretty much none of this initial idea survived, especially once I figured out what character personality I wanted. This uniform was just too uptight, and the browns in it made it too dull for what I was going for.

My next ideation round focused more on the uniform design than the character. It was important to me that the 3 school uniforms of blue, yellow, and red, all looked good in a set and had distinct silhouettes. I really liked the idea of broader shoulders in this one since it contrasted well with the other uniforms.

I played around with several different hairstyles and colors in this next phase. I did end up picking one I liked, but the more I sat on it, the more I had to come to terms with the fact it didn't meet my design goals of "approachable prodigy", she just felt a little too subdued for that intent.

I had a real breakthrough when I took in Utena from the Revolutionary Girl Utena Movie as a big design inspiration. This character had a similar energy to what I wanted to convey with my own, and how she stands out among the other students. The contrast between sharp and round shapes in her hair down outfit on the left was also something that in my opinion helped convey her personality visually and helped me figure out where I needed to make changes in my own design.

For one, it made me realize that the uniform I designed had to be changed. I really did like its silhouette, but the more formal looking long skirt was fighting against the character I wanted and it was lacking in sharper shapes.

I tried my hand at a 1st pass on redesigning her face. This felt like I was getting closer compared to my previous designs, but she now felt a little too sharp and not welcoming enough.

After this I continued exploring face designs. I took inspiration from Utena and other 90's shojo anime faces. The gentle curvy shapes added an element of elegance that I thought fit the character well.

After the faces I made a quick full body sketch that I felt was pushing in the right direction. I was very happy with the skirt, both in the inviting round shape and how prominent and bold it looked in the silhouette. I also was quite happy with her hair and the sharper edges of her blazer, but felt I needed to do more iteration on the blazer's buttons.

I picked the blazers I liked from the last round and polished them a bit more. Honestly, I could have gone for a few of these as the final, but decided on the 5th one for its balance of simplicity with detailing in the pockets and neck. It felt like the right level of for that.

The final aspect I did iterations on was her eyes. Initially, I wanted to try out prominent triangular eyelashes like in the 1st set of eyes. The idea of having her eyes take on the shape of a star felt very fitting for the idea of prodigy, but because her hair was already pretty complex compared to everyone else, the eye silhouette just felt too noisy and overwhelming. I actually ended up really liking the simple circular shapes for her eyes. They balanced well with the more complex hair, and made her feel approachable and friendly. The final version I ended up going with was the green interior with a white rectangle inside. It added just the right level of interior complexity to make her stand out from the rest of the cast.

After a fair amount of changes, here's where I ended up with her final design. I'm pretty happy with this iteration of her, she fits well visually with the character I had in mind!

#witch #witches #artists on tumblr #witch design #witch art #concept art #my art #oc art #character design

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diaphin93 · 3 months ago

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My Thoughts on Dawntrail

So, Dawntrail has been out alot, but still spoilerwarning for the MSQ up until 7.0. This is not an indepth analysis of Dawntrail by any means, but more of my personal thoughts on how I felt about the story and contrasting it with how I feel about The War Within, which I think managed to deliver the first storytelling W for World of Warcraft since both games are running simultaneously.

For context, I do play both Games and I'm both positive and negative about certain aspects of both. For example, I feel strongly about Modern World of Warcraft just offering more than FF14 in terms of content, even if FF14 has alot of content that can be well replayed after it isn't current anymore. I enjoy general healer gameplay and tanking in WoW more, but also feel like FF14 being well able to compete through its great visuals and occassional innovative class design choices. I feel like World of Warcraft entered a golden age of class design since DF, while FF14 is currently in the midst of a very grim dark age.

And I have to admit, I started off kinda lukewarm on Dawntrail. I was on a prolonged hiatus and played more World of Warcraft or Singleplayer Games through most of Endwalker, but got hooked right back into the game a few months prior to Dawntrail release, slowly catching up with the story. I wasn't really hot about the initial premise, Endwalkers initial MSQ being an emotionally invested rolercoaster ride following Shadowbringers, concluding the entirety of the story so far and the entire Zero Chapter and the 13th being kind of more interesting for me personally, but wrapped up rather fast. In retrospect, I kinda felt sad about how many year long engaging plotlines, the war against the garleans, the ascians and the primals, where just concluded in one sweeping go, especially the end of the Garlean Empire being bitter to me, as it was my favorite plotline, adding alot of the narratives nuances, world building and depth into it.

Though I was still happy to play the story, really excited about the new classes and I was open about playing through it all. I kinda liked the idea of a succession contest and I actually liked Wuk Lamat well enough. I think Sena Bryer is not the best voice actress, but she has an endearing and authentic quality to how she voices Wuk, my biggest issue being her performance really crashing apart badly whenever she has to raise her voice. Though, as opposed to many, I don't really dislike Wuk. I think her story does not deliver in the slightest on her potential and that she remains overly static, but my bigger issue really was the inclusion of Alphinaud and Alisaie, who just well mandatorily shoved in because of Fan Demand. I guess there is a problem of both of their character arcs being concluded and them not feeling that distinct anymore, more like a package. Without the narrative being centered on their growth and maturing as people, they also feel a bit bland to me, compared to the other scions. I generally feel like Raha should have been included into the story instead, maybe a bit more Estinien as well, to let the newcomers have an adventure without the stakes being at an all time high for once. Rahas presence also would have helped Krile alot I think, because they just play off each other very well.

Going into the story, I just feel large portions of it were just really boring. The trials felt alot like side quests and I think the slowburn combined with the lack of voice acting and real battle content really made me mentally numb through alot of it. The cultures were encounter felt less interesting to me than in the past, especially since their presentation just came off as dry. And really, this made the lack of battle content and actual gameplay inside the quests very noticable. I personally also think the truth about the blessed siblings really fell apart for me, because while it was horrible how the Mamool Ja deliberately tried to breed two-headed ones, in their obsession with reclaiming their former glory, I just don't understand what the conclusion to it is supposed to tell us, as it turns out that they're simply the result of the different mamool ja tribes intermixing and the offspring having a high mortality rate, so it kinda feels like the conclusion is anti-miscegenation. I think that part of the story would have come together better if there was some more sinister method behind their creation.

But until then, yeah, it was well servicable. Us stopping right at our tracks after finding the Golden City was annoying, but what really broke the camels back to me was how we are forced through Shaaloani for some wild west side adventure afterwards, basically killing any excitement for the story up to this point. I personally also just don't like the whole wild west setting of Shaaloani, as it just felt just too far off from the rest of Yok Tural. So we are off to a very bad start for part 2 of the MSQ, which only gets worse when the real actual starts. I hate that the entire section of the alexandrian invasion on Tuliyollal is not playable and just cutscene after cutscene, way to keep us distant from the drama and action happening there. I also really dislike the aesthetics, but more on that later. We are off to even more fetch quests until we can finally board the train to attack the dome and...yeah. The story really falls apart here for me.

I really, really hate the entirety of Alexandrias aesthetics. First off...they are not Alexandria. They bear no semblance to the aethetics of FF9 Alexandria outside of the ruins of the oldtown and just don't really feel fitting for FF14 in the slightest. Modern Aspects worked well with Garlemald and Amauroth, because they still had a fantastical edge to it and looked unique, something that I will always immediately associate with this game. Alexandria on the other hand does just look like any generic cyberpunk city. And we are in the midst of enemy territory but just nothing happens. Its all peace and sunshine after they caused massive slaughter in the country we were supposed to feel attached to at this point and instead its basically just one sightseeing tour, where it feels like the game actively forces us to be in awe and wonder about how great it is there. Then there is Sphene who was really unlikable to me. I don't understand why so many people hate Wuk Lamat and sing praises to Sphene. I think what gets me is how the story forces itself to forget the elephant of the room, that she is the queen of the nation that just attacked us, and just sings praises about how kind and nice she is. I don't use the term Mary Sue lightly on female characters, I love to use it much more on men, lol, but she feels this way in how the narrative seems to try to bend over backwards in framing, which I just didn't find endearing at any moment and probably made me feel indifferent to her entire story.

I also feel like Alexandrias practices of turning souls into a currency, harvesting them and feeding them into the populace to creat a decadent faux immortality to everyone able to afford them, was never treated with the necessary gravitas and disgust. They invaded a world that never did them the slightest harm and slaughtered its people to rip out their souls, for gods sake. In every other story, this would be a nightmarish moral event horizon, while Dawntrails heavy handing and parody-like theme of understanding basically just treated it like a quirk of them we might not like, but have to respect. It feels like a parody of how the narrative treated the ascians, where we saw their humanity, saw the desperation and reasons behind what they do finally, but still could firmly stand in opposition to them, because the idea of us having to die so that they can restore their idealistic world was inheritly unfair. Dawntrail lacked this. And Dawntrail over and over displayed a near insistance of killing every sense of tension and stakes build by its own narrative, because right after Sphene decides to become the second coming of Endsinger, we go through a theme park sightseeing tour. It doesn't help that in a setting in which souls are a real physical thing we have already seeing and interacted with, killing AI Engrams just does not have any gravity to me. It works in traditional Cyberpunk Settings, where the soul is a much more abstract concepts.

So yeah, what I really disliked the most was DT killing every bit of tension the second it build up. Meanwile, I think the TWW Storyline not only had a better antagonist, but also just a better story experience where the action of the gameplay, even if its fairly simple, was combined well with the narrative at hand, with it making the great choice of relegating most of the zone lore to side content that can be used as alternative level routes for alts while keeping the main story focussed on the characters and the conflict at hand. I also think that the Azj-Kahet quests kinda handled the seeing the humanity in the people invading us better. Its more interesting firstly, because the people of Azj-Kahet are literally beastlike spider-people we so far only faced as an invading swarm and touring the city is a much less lingering endeavor and happens while connecting political players planning a rebellion and recovering a lost ally who had been kidnapped.

I think I will still regularily look into FF14 and resubscribe with new content patched, but currently its crazy to say, but World of Warcraft has the story that got me more hooked this time around. The zones are also really much more fun to explore, I love World of Warcrafts Zone Design and how the game gives you ample reason to be in the open world. There is also the current state of Dark Knight, my favorite class, which is just not fun in the slightest, I'm still hoping for an emergency class revamp in one of the 7.x patches, but otherwise my only hopium is Dark Knight getting a full on revamp with 8.0.

#ffxiv dawntrail #ff14 #dawntrail spoilers

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chilly-out-here · 9 months ago

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an attempt

let's see if this works! hopefully by not tagging this it doesn't get recommended to anyone since. I feel like it reads as fucking insane without context (honestly even with context). but just in case if you're not reading the fic and somehow still ended up here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/52369693/chapters/132478987

and before I say anything I’d like to first shout out this tumblr post for letting me link this in the chapter notes in the first place bc I Would Not Have figured it out myself: https://www.tumblr.com/gentrychild/653404474056081408/ao3-how-to-insert-imageslinks-into-the-notes-of#

so!! Milgram The Musical!! there’s a couple key parts to how I imagine the tech for this thing to work. I don’t know all the details for the format of the show (frankly it doesn’t matter a ton lol), but I’m imagining it to be like. for each prisoner, there’s interrogation (basically like their VDs, except on stage), then blackout for quick scene transition, and then they sing their song. then blackout and they move on to the next prisoner and rinse and repeat. except for 010 who Causes Problems, which would be the climax of the musical and leads into the theoretical resolution.

so yea! I figure there’s probably 12 songs? one for each prisoner, plus two group numbers at the beginning and end (Undercover ft. the prisoners singing their parts, plus an unspecified ending song lol). there’s only one trial bc that would be PLENTY enough content for a musical already, so the songs are probably some fusion of the t1 and t2 (and t3 when that comes out?) songs. idk the specifics of that don’t really matter. also just, note, none of the prisoners have names in the show bc even I have my limits lmao. so if I’m talking about the characters in the musical I refer to them by their number, if I’m talking about the characters in the fic they get their names.

but anyway the important thing is! I think the main tech objective for the show is to make sure the visuals and sound of every prisoner’s song feels distinct, both from the other songs and from the interrogation scenes. the secondary objective is that the songs should feel kinda surreal; they take place in the prisoner’s minds, so they should be very separate from “reality” (in quotes bc what even is Milgram). so most of my planning was done with that in mind :)

DECK:

okay. so! most of the show’s tech is probably lighting/projection-based to accomplish all the different tones and aesthetic shifts, but there are some fun little things with the deck too, not least of which being the y’know!! rotating disc!! à la Les Mis or Hamilton. I think it’d at least be super cool for Undercover and 010’s song (which has some Deep Cover stuff fs), and definitely in other places too because the songs are all kinda wild lol. I found this tutorial and, in my humble opinion, Kazui and Hinako are indeed insane enough as directors to want this, and Kotoko and Kazui are indeed insane enough to build this: http://theaterdad.blogspot.com/2011/06/how-to-make-revolving-stage.html?m=1

in terms of physical set pieces, there’s of course the interrogation table and chairs, which comes on for every interrogation and comes off after every “sing your sins.” there’s also the Warden’s chair (whatever the fuck Es is sitting on at the beginning of Undercover), and maybe some bonus pieces for the prisoners’ songs? like possibly school desks for 004, hospital bed for 005, round table for 010, that sort of stuff.

SOUND:

I don’t know a whole ton about sound, but I imagine Yuno’s trying to set it up so that the interrogation scenes feel like you’re watching two characters from the outside, and the songs feel like you’re immersed inside the character’s head (since yknow,,, that’s kinda the central conceit of the show lol). I’m envisioning that she’s gonna have the interrogation dialogue sound like it’s mostly coming from the stage (so like, the closer to the stage a speaker is, the louder it is), and the music sound like it’s kinda coming from everywhere at once (so all the speakers are similar volume). so that’s why she’s doing a ton of repatching to get the individual speaker control she wants to create that illusion. overall I think she’s just trying to have fun with the whole thing which. as she should!!

PROJECTION:

so!! like I said earlier a big goal for the tech of this show is to make everything feel distinct, and the projection would be a GIANT part of that. I’ve only worked one show with projection in it but there’s so many frickin possibilities you can do with it so,, here we go!

first of all—the INTERROGATIONS. most theaters have stage monitors (basically just security cameras pointed at the stage from the house, which can be viewed in dressing rooms so actors know where they are in the show and can keep track of their entrances). and I think it’d be really cool to also project that in the background in real-time as the interrogation scenes are happening (probably in black and white). partly to just make those scenes a bit more visually interesting, and partly bc I think it would severely fit the aesthetic?? plus that way, except during the blackouts, the projection won’t disappear and reappear as much, which I think would look cleaner and more cohesive.

BUT still very distinct!! bc in contrast to the camera vibes in the interrogations, the songs have their own cool colorful background art and visuals and fuckinnn stock footage projected!! whatever fits the vibe lmao. I think Haruka basically Goes Off—like the designer roles were decided for the show before they went on break, so he’s been working on this for months. each song’s visuals have their own style and color palette (yknow,, like how Milgram MVs work lol).

I’m gonna go on a whole separate rant about lighting but projection-wise:

001’s visuals mostly resemble the Weakness MV—so very colorful and very much drawn with nice smooth water/bubble animations, but also plus some of the edgy writing and glitchy stuff in All Knowing and All Agony. I think Haruka does project (haha,, pun) a little bit onto 001 (wow I can’t imagine why), so the art for that song hITS.

002’s aesthetic is probably closest to Umbilical with like. pink void, balloons, the DNA staircases (possibly Haruka’s first venture into 3D modeling? which he uses later for Undercover and stuff), and the photographs (provided by the actress), but I really like the water ripples from Tear Drop so there’s some of that in there too.

003 is most like Bring It On with all the video game aesthetic glitchy stuff going on, except add in a bit of spray paint imagery bc I think that’s really cool.

004 is probably mostly It’s Not My Fault? I mean BUGS,, and honey and stuff. some classroom things like in After Pain (specifically the chalkboard has some stuff on it?) and a few real-life shots, but a lot of weird bug things yknow.

005 is mainly Throw Down for all the flower symbolism (this is where flower stock footage comes in lmao), plus elements from Triage like the hospital bed, heart monitor, and of course the many many surgery receipts.

006 is based mostly on This Is How To Be In Love With You (magazine vibes, again photos provided by the actress), but with a bit of the angsty stuff in I Love You (the fucked up carousel is good shit).

007. is. interesting. since half and Cat are so different it’s a little hard to picture how the combined version would work (current idea is it starts slow and ballad-y for like. a couple lines, and then launches into jazzy vibes—perhaps something a bit like Theater by natori (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x3rDLizb4sI)). but I’m imagining that 007 is a PERFORMER during his song. by that I mean when it gets jazzy he straight up walks down from the stage into the audience and has a whole Moment prancing around in the house with spotlights (aren’t we glad Fuuta set up the movers??). so my idea for the projection is that it’s mostly abstract and collage-y kinda like the instrumental break in Cat, and it does reflect the instruments (like the dancing saxophone lol), but it’s also got things like the apple, the glass, cigarettes, all the magic trick stuff, and the ring, and occasional cut-ins of irl stock photos of things like the bar. just little hints up there that are easy to miss if you’re focusing on all the Extremely Distracting actor in the audience and crazy dancing collage happening. also, color palette is probably warmer/red-er just to lean into the whole theater thing a bit more.

008!! I love the feltboard look at the end of Magic and I think that’s the main aesthetic the visuals would have, but with occasional cuts to irl photos of disturbing stuff like the taser. kinda like how Purge March does it? I almost feel like it’d be a bit like one of those analog horror things based on kids’ content, where the scary parts are 1) mostly just implied and 2) don’t last long but the juxtaposition is really jarring.

009 my beloved,, I really like the filming/camera vibes from MeMe, so the visuals probably involve a lot of that, and also the trains and glitch effects like in Double. ALSO. the MANNEQUINS. I have a mental image of Haruka sitting there debating what to do for 009, and then he looks up from his desk and sees his little pose reference mannequin and he’s like. Oh Yeah. so he takes pictures of it and photoshops it over/into some stuff, basically just turning it into like a whole mixed media art project thing (like this sort of vibe—Tatsuya Kitani MVs are frickin insane /pos: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ymtNhd_3CB8). and THEN. TAROT CARDS. after their pokémon battle Yuno lets Haruka borrow them, so he takes photos and uses them too (and uses the mannequins with them). the complicated disjointed mildly unsettling mixed media video collage aesthetic is *chef’s kiss* and I think it’d fit well with 009 and the film look.

010!! home stretch!! I don’t have much to say other than I think it mainly follows the Deep Cover vibes (bc seriously that MV is GORGEOUS), so plenty of chess piece imagery to go around. but also,,, wolves,,, more stock footage lmao.

and fINALLY!! UNDERCOVER!! very geometric and following the general Milgram aesthetic. definitely the projection design closest to the MV it’s based on. not to spoil anything but there might be a bit more detail on it next chapter? didn’t hear that from me tho ;)

and now!! hilariously short thing to finish this section off. after each prisoner’s song, there’s a blackout for them to exit and for the deck crew to set the interrogation table up for the next scene. during that transition I think it’d be fun if there was a pre-recorded video of them answering some of their interrogation questions as a little sendoff yknow? plus that helps not completely kill the momentum after each song.

LIGHTS:

oh my god. hi. me. HI. this is my SHIT. okay. so. LIGHTS. starting with a fun little aside about LEDs and incandescents—imo incandescent stage lights are the prettiest and most natural looking, buut they’re also less versatile than LEDs (for example, you need physical gels to change the color of incandescents, but a lot of LED light fixtures can have colors changed from the lightboard). there’s pros and cons to both and there’s pros and cons to having a mixed lights grid (currently working in a place with both—I actually like it personally but it is hard to match the colors/tones a lot of the time). most of the theater world is moving towards LEDs in general (partly for convenience, partly as regulations are shifting away from incandescents) but Kazui is a stubborn mf who’s held onto an incandescent grid for THIS long and he’s gonna keep it as long he possibly can lmao. Fuuta convinced him to let him overhaul the whole thing and mix in some LEDs over the summer (mostly a bunch of moving lights), so he’s got a bit of both to work with.

for the Milgram aesthetic, unnatural white LEDs is lowkey the vibe?? I think just a couple white spotlights on the interrogation table would kinda be all they need. Fuuta is definitely getting a shit ton of use out of his movers for that since they can be pointed in good angles as needed. and for UNDERCOVER,,, oh boy he has some FUN with that one. if you program them right white movers make really good searchlight lookin things let me tell you!! I did them for a show recently and they looked AWESOME but I didn’t get to keep them in the final version (“it’s not a light show” which. fair but ok) so I’m vicariously living my mover searchlight dreams through Fuuta <3 and also, the Undercover MV has a ton of cool white spotlight type things going on?? like spotlights pointed through bars which casts cool dramatic shadows. definitely he gets to play around a lot with that :D

and then on the flip side~!! for the prisoner songs!! I think the general lighting for those is mostly done with differently-gelled incandescents, since they just look much prettier and smoother in general. I think the more natural look would also help to make the songs more immersive, especially in comparison to the interrogations—Fuuta’s definitely the type of guy to take something like a hybrid grid and really use it to his advantage to emphasize that contrast in overall feel.

each prisoner song definitely has its own lighting scheme too, which are all set up to look cohesive in conjunction with the projections in each song, so now all those are getting balanced for color and intensity so it looks like it all flows together with the visuals.

001’s general wash color is like a bluish white? so like R#051 (Surprise Pink (it looks mostly white in practice)) plus a bit of blue. not a ton of color bc the projections here are so colorful.

002’s lights are actually probably cooler tones for the most part to contrast with the pink projection. largely based on Tear Drop since the lighting there is super blue and it’s so PRETTY.

003…R#003 Dark Bastard Amber my beloved <3 (nah but fr DBA looks so good on red hair, it’s also kinda golden-ish which I think would look good with the saturated video game color tones on the projection).

for 004 like. literally all of After Pain is so Surprise Pink it’s ridiculous (plus a bit of Dark Bastard Amber for like,, yknow the murder at sunset). I like Surprise Pink for the color contrast with the green honey, might also want to test some purple?

005! I’m thinking of this one gel color that’s a really nice soft light blue, I believe it’s R#60 No Color Blue? again not too much color for the lights here since the projection will have a lot of flowers.

006 is very much a pink wash. probably Surprise Pink mixed and contrasted with a darker purple? I haven’t worked with a ton of purple but it’s a pretty versatile color and I think it could be good for the angsty I Love You type projections.

007 would start in a special light, and then when he goes into the audience that’s all a person with a followspot lol. at that point there’d only be enough light on stage to keep the projection looking natural (very low DBA wash perhaps).

008 is another Surprise Pink-based lights wash without too much color since the visuals would be pretty vibrant on their own, but much darker and bluer for the grimmer projections. I feel like purple would be nice as an undertone for her for some reason?

009 is. interesting. I could see Fuuta having to rack his brain a little for this one (since I’m racking my brain over here lol), but. if I remember correctly No Color Blue plus a tiny tiny bit of Surprise Pink can kinda make a semi-convincing white white? I think that, plus some bright RGB Color Moments in the visuals, could hopefully do the job okay.

010 HI OKAY LET ME LIGHT THIS SONG PLEASE. fuckin BACKLIGHTS DUDE the SATURATED COLORS the PINK?!? THAT is R#039 SKELTON EXOTIC SANGRIA if I’ve EVER fuckin seen it (bro just trust me, the color itself looks hella dark but when there’s light shining through it it’s so VIVID and PRETTY okay I just. yes). that mixed with some kind of really saturated indigo (part of me is even wondering about black lights??) would be so good.

COSTUMES:

okay costumes!! so!! as we have seen Mikoto’s been very busy lol. he’s not the main costume designer but he’s like. assistant costume designer and the guy in charge of Making Stuff (lead craftsperson I think it’s technically called?), which in this case are the prisoner harnesses and the Warden costumes.

costume breakdown! each prisoner has their actual clothes, plus “jumpsuit” (whichever white jacket thing they have), and a harness. everything except the harnesses seems like it could probably just be bought/sourced from somewhere (which is still, I can say from experience, A Lot Of Work lmao,, so the rest of the costume team has been similarly busy). I’ve gone back and forth about whether they should change costumes for their songs, but I think everything’s smoother if they just keep the jumpsuit.

the exception is 010, who gets to do a quick change in the blackout before her song bc the Deep Cover drip is too good?? her harness and jumpsuit are probably attached somehow to be easy to remove at once. I’m imagining the way it works is that right at the blackout, the actress takes off the jumpsuit/harness setup, Mikoto goes on with deck crew for the scene transition with the coat, hat, and gloves (not enough time for a pants change so let’s just say she’s already wearing black pants and combat boots). he helps her get those on (let me tell you gloves are hARD in quick changes) and then he walks off with the jumpsuit/harness.

and finally the Warden! so Mikoto’s in charge of making the cape and the hat, and everything else can probably be sourced and modified as needed. someone’s probably having a lot of fun making the key necklace/props though!

well that was fun!! aren’t we glad I didn’t try to put all this in the notes?? I sure am lmao. the inherent slapdash-ness of the whole thing was kinda freeing actually and I had a blast just Saying Stuff, bc tech for Milgram The Musical has been living in my head rent-free for MONTHS and I’m glad I got to just put it all in words!! maybe I’ll do another one of these in the future if I need it lol. but anyway if you actually read to the end of this then 1) kudos <3 and 2) I hope it was at least moderately interesting, or at least enjoyable!

I don’t really know how to end this so. hope you have a nice day :D

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