#because she simply has so many lewks

[clarkgriffon]

Buffy Summers + Outfits (1/∞)

[bluegekk0]

How does each family react to being shown random forms of appreciation or affection from each other like receiving gifts, compliments or just simply hugs?

For example Like would some of them be better and more accepting of receiving a Random gift from someone or will they react more like “why did you do this I have done nothing”

Long post so I'm putting a divider here.

Vyrm, as I mentioned before, would most likely feel a tad stressed about it. He still hasn't fully accepted the fact that others around him may treat him with unconditional kindness, so an unexpected gift from stranger would immediately put him in the "do I deserve this?" and "how do I repay them?" mindsets, and he has a tendency to obsess over that to the point it becomes unhealthy. When it comes to gifts within the family, that isn't as much of a problem. He still feels the need to give them something in return, but he has been assured many times that he's loved unconditionally, so he doesn't spiral into panic if he can't repay them. With compliments, he remains very humble, and in response to compliments about his appearance coming from Grimm, he often blushes and gets a bit distracted; even by now he's not used to being complimented like this, and Grimm's alluring energy most certainly gets to him. When it comes to hugs, he finds unexpected acts of physical affection a bit startling but not completely unwelcome (he just needs a moment to adjust and relax), generally though he absolutely loves hugs. He's very physically affectionate, so he greatly enjoys giving and receiving them from his loved ones, he just prefers if he can see them before they try yo hug him.

Grimm loves receiving gifts, and while he does share Vyrm's mindset of wanting to give back, it's not as obsessive and doesn't affect his mental well-being, he simply just enjoys the act of gift-giving. In the family, he's usually the one bringing gifts in the first place, he memorized all birthdays and other important dates, and always makes sure to bring them something from his travels. In regards to compliments, he's very much used to them, to the point he doesn't pay them much attention (unless they come from Vyrm, that gets a much more noticeable reaction from him). He simply just thanks the one complimenting him and moves on. Hugs, on the other hand, are a much bigger deal to him. For many years of his life he experienced closeness with strangers, but it was always brief and meaningless. He was starved for genuine physical affection, which is something he shared with Vyrm, so as you'd expect, they're nearly inseparable now. And of course, he loves hugging other family members, he's always there to offer a warm embrace, and he loves receiving them in return.

Hornet is unique in that she went through a significant change in regards to how comfortable she is receiving this kind of affection. Around the time the infection ended, she put effort into keeping a distance and rejected all kinds of gifts. Compliments made her feel very awkward so she wasn't a fan of those, and let's not even mention hugs - she would never accept a hug, let alone give one. Not because she hated them, but all her trauma created a barrier in her mind that prevented her from physical affection, and as a result, she'd freeze or get angry in response (usually the latter). But as years passed and she learned to cope with her emotions better, she became more open to displays of affection. Gifts became one of her primary ways to show that she loves her family, ever since she brought home scraps from the Junk Pit that Vyrm later used for Holly's arm. Now whenever she goes on her patrol or visits the City, she often brings back things that she imagines Vyrm would like to tinker with, art supplies for Holly and Lewk, even some toys for the twins. She's still a bit awkward when it comes to accepting gifts, but she massively improved nonetheless. And with hugs, while she does find it difficult to initiate them, she doesn't get as upset when she receives them. I like to think the first time she hugged anyone was after the Grimmkin incident. That was the point when she realized she needed to be more open about her love for her family - she was scared that her father could die thinking she hated him. So when he survived, she hugged him for the first time since her childhood, and slowly became more and more comfortable with physical affection afterwards. She's still a bit awkward, but she's getting there.

Holly likes receiving gifts and coming up with presents to give in return. Unlike Vyrm, though, this isn't rooted in anxiety and self-esteem issues, they just love seeing the reactions to their gifts. Not to mention, receiving them is a warm reminder that others do care about them, and they need this kind of affirmation in their life. When it comes to physical affection, they similarly love it. They might not be the best at hugging, it does get a bit awkward with the lack of arm and the huge head getting in the way, not to mention that their body surface is quite cold. But they enjoy being hugged and giving hugs, if they had a choice, they would spend most of their day in the embrace of Vyrm or Grimm, their parents. It's comforting, and just like with gifts and compliments, it reminds them that they're loved.

Zote is extremely awkward with gifts. His initial response is usually rather mean, but it all comes down to the fact that he's not used to getting gifts. Sure, he loves attention and admiration, he wouldn't come up with all those accomplishments and virtues otherwise, but a genuine gift given to him as a token of appreciation? It's new to him, he was bullied for a good portion of his life, so his instinct tells him to act defensive in situations where he may show vulnerability. But after that passes and he's left alone with his gift, he treats it as something sacred. I haven't thought of the specific object, but the first present he received from the family is one he's especially attached to. And as for returning the gesture, it took him a while to do it, and he's a bit awkward at it. He won't admit that he thought of someone when giving them a gift and so he usually just comes up with a story that wouldn't paint it as the kind gesture it really is. Though I think everyone else can see through it, but they buy the story since they know it's best to take it slow with him. He's still not used to physical affection, though, and if you try to hug him, he gets very upset and angry. Small steps, I suppose. And compliments? Oh he adores those, even if he struggles to tell the difference between genuine compliments and sarcasm.

Lewk shares his "papa Grimm's" affinity for gift giving, and he's guaranteed to bring home cool rocks that reminded him of someone in the family, with the intention of gifting them. And I really like the idea of Grimm and Vyrm giving him some spare geo that he often spends at the market to buy gifts, clearly following in Grimm's footsteps. They would all be silly things you'd expect from a young child, but they undoubtedly have a lot of charm. On top of that, in regards to physical affection, he's extremely fond of hugs. He grew up experiencing constant physical affection from his parents, so he has a lot of love that he wants to spread. He hugs everyone all the time, including Zote who's very much not fond of it. Lewk knows from experience that hugs are the best remedy for sadness, and even if it appears naive at times, it's nonetheless incredibly heartwarming.

Asta and Milo are young, naturally, so the concept of gifts isn't something they fully grasped just yet. They definitely enjoy getting them, Milo in particular got extremely attached to the Tiktik plushie that was gifted to him, but they don't have the means to give back. Though as they get older, that would naturally change. Gift giving is clearly a love language found in the whole household, so there's no reason for them not to join in. Asta would be on board, though some of it would certainly be prank gifts, and she would love getting those in return so she can have a good laugh. Milo would be a different story. I think he would try to gift others but get very discouraged if he can't find the perfect present, and he would have the tendency to see gifts given to him as sign of others pitying him. It's definitely something he would have to get through, but it's to be expected if he grows up to be bitter about his weakness. With physical affection, they would both be very fond of it. Asta would be as notorious of a hugger as Lewk, with surprise hugs being her specialty. Milo would pretend like hugs bother him, and see compliments as lies told to make him feel better. But as soon as he's left alone and sad, he would cling to his parents to find comfort, so in reality physical affection would clearly mean a lot to him even with his personal struggles.

[canary3d-obsessed]

Lost Tomb Lewks, Part 10

(Masterpost of LT Lewks) (Canary’s Pinboard of Content)(part 9)

Warning: Mild spoilers for season 1 and 2 of The Lost Tomb Reboot

Look 51 is Wu Xie’s diving wetsuit, which is a thing of beauty. Wu Xie is a thing of beauty wearing it. Look at his chest muscles! Look at... *fans self*

This is a good outfit for swimming.

It’s also a good look for lifting an impressionable young woman up off the floor by her waist, pressing her against the wall while you continue to hold her up by her waist with your intriguingly strong arms, and looking at her like this...

...in order to convince her to stop being in love with you lying to you about stuff.

(more after the cut)

Look 52 is Wu Xie’s hoodie of age-appropriate-relationship contemplation. Hilariously, when Wu Xie says he’s too old for Bai Haotian, Pangzi uses his May-December relationship with Xiao Ge as a direct counter example. 

He wears this grey hoodie with a blue denim jacket and grey./stone color jeans. 

This is a good outfit for manspreading while you contemplate the bottles of Nongfu spring water on the table and the larger bottle on the counter.

You know, the US theoretically doesn’t have much censorship, and yet we have the travesty of Destiel and the even worse tragedy of Queliot; meanwhile this show that had to turn every zombie into a crustacean to please the censors....

...managed to give us scene after scene of two men sharing a domestic life, and occupying significantly coded roles within that life, and they get away with it simply by having them occasionally talk about chicks. 

Look 53 is, uh, the white tee shirt that Wu Xie is changing into here. 

Ok I should just be focusing on Zhu Yilong’s shoulder blades in this shot, and I AM, but I also have to remind everyone that THERE IS ONLY ONE BED and it has two pillows side by side.  

Look 54 belongs to Bai Haotian, who wears this adorable overalls getup for their visit to the weather station.  

This look features artfully torn overalls, sturdy work boots, and (eventually) black fingerless gloves, like everyone else in the group likes to wear. Under the overalls she’s wearing a plaid shirt with a round standup collar, which gives the look a feminine touch and offsets her lovely pixie face. 

This look says, I am an adorable potential love interest, and I am also a competent and self-sufficient member of the team, who is absurdly pretty in an interesting tomboyish way. The best word for Xiao Bai’s style in English isn’t actually tomboy, but a stolen French word, gamine, which was used a lot for Audrey Hepburn and Jean Seberg, back in the day. (Before OP’s time! OP is not that old).

I’m frankly shocked at how well this show managed to integrate a interesting and pretty female character in to the group without 1. making a romance inevitable 2. making a romance impossible 3. spoiling any other ships 4. making her a damsel in need of rescuing.  I mean, yes, she does need rescuing at a couple of points, like every other character--that seems to be the basis of all the relationships in DMBJ. But Liu Sang, not Xiao Bai, is the official “pretty person who is constantly in danger.”

Look 55 is Wu Xie’s weather station outfit, which features a strap-on leg bag that is personally trying to kill me with its sexy, sexy strap placement. One strap is around his delicious thigh and the other is worn directly above his junk low across his pelvis. 

This look features a smooth light tan jacket with a high collar and hood, and large side-zip pockets. He wears it with a tan button-up shirt, jeans and his usual boots & gloves. His backpack has a bunch of useful-looking stuff tucked in and around it. I like the way the group always carries a lot of stuff and you see them digging things out of their gear when they need to. These are people who are comfortable living on the road.

This outfit is perfect for improbably spry tree scissoring climbing

This is also a good outfit for having a zoom call to introduce the newest member of your polycule to your long-distance collective boyfriend.

This outfit includes rain pajamas that go over the whole getup to protect it in a downpour, which is actually a pretty practical, if dorky, look.

The rain pajamas are perfect for when you decide to be a complete chowderhead and get hit by lighting.

This show has so many crustaceans improbable elements that I didn’t notice exactly what Wu Xie was doing, the first time around. What he’s doing is crouching inside a metal cage that is wired to a lighting rod on the roof. 

90% of Xiao Ge’s live-saving moves with Wu Xie are probably just catching his eye and then slowly shaking his head, to prevent him from doing stupid shit like this. 

Rather than dying, Wu Xie just gets a burn on his hand that can be easily treated with Nongfu Spring Water. 

Bonus Look 1

This bonus belongs to villainous antique dealer Xue Wu, who continues to have excellent style with strong traditional Chinese elements. This casual soft shirt has an awesome dragon wrapping around the shoulders and over the chest and back.

The dragon’s head is accented with sequins that sparkle as Xue paces around in his lair office. 

Bonus Look 2

This bonus is the adorable look on Bai Haotian’s face after she jokingly gives Wu Xie a teeny tiny scrap of swimsuit to wear, before admitting she brought a wetsuit for him. 

I imagine the producers had this same laugh at the audience because they enjoy toying with us. 

[saint-patrice]

there is no way in hell i could refuse those wonderful finns! since it is his bday, this one is for juuse, but i will definitely do pekka at a later date - 30% of these photos have pekka in em anyway, so…..

see here for other posts like this one! i am also taking requests for ‘em :)

okay so… i’m just gonna go ahead and get this photo out of the way. this box splits ass bitch!! one time in an interview miika salomäki said “have you seen juuse twerk whole doing splits? that’s his go-to move when we’re going out,” and somehow there exists no visual evidence of this, which like…. how? pls rectify this

i’m all for that vaunted goalie flexibility but this feels like taking it a step too far… juuse what are you trying to prove….. please………….. someone help him

yeehaw, bitch!

juuse is the epitome of Polite Cat. look at that face

(via @shootingoreos) at 5′10, juuse is (afaik) currently the shortest goalie in the nhl - just a teacup tendy! despite a very impressive performance at world juniors, he was projected to go in the 5th or 6th round because of his height, and the penguins even made him get an x-ray before the draft to see if there was any chance he still had some growing left in him lmao. it seems that there was not, as he went to nashville in the 4th round, where he has been delighting the masses ever since by being Weird about his idol-turned-teammate pekka rinne, having a really cute dog, and simply being delightful

(via @callejarnkrok) speaking of juuse’s puppy: behold!! she’s a husky called kesä, which means summer in finnish. she is such a good girl. i love her.

okay i know the preds’ winter classic lewks were a point of discussion, but i have an argument for your consideration: juuse looked so fucking good. he looks like he works in some sort of fancy office and goes home to a nice house that he has a mortgage for every evening, instead of looking like the slight disaster child we all know him to be. also uhhhh i love leg

(via @callejarnkrok) *griffin mcelroy voice* this perfect beautiful business child!

all of us getting way to emotionally invested in the success of sports teams and their players like:

(via @burkysky) juuse saros, shutout king, being congratulated in the only acceptable way for goalies - love and hugs administered in a slightly aggressive yet still tender manner. juuse has 11 shutouts so far in his nhl career, with 4 of them coming this season! 👑👑👑

this feels very heonlygottwoeyes.meme, no?

oh that is just a very very small finnish child. what i love most about this image is the fact that you can practically hear the brain cell’s abject failure to hit the corner to produce An Thought. there is nothing behind those eyes, holy fuck

(via @pkariya) this is neither the first nor the last instance of juuse being called “my son” or “my boy” by pekka, including one such instance on national television. they’re very normal.

(via @emotionalsupportrookie) as if literally calling pekka his daddy on camera in front of me, god, and everyone wasn’t bad enough, this intricate ritual also occurred. see the thing is, we make all these jokes about how hockey is a Normal Sport, and it’s all fun and games until shit like this happens. we probably shouldn’t be surprised by a locker room collaring at this point, but it still just makes you think “oh?? y’all really like this???????” 

extremely soft vibes emanating from that hoodie

hit em with the side profile juuse!!! when did he get this handsome….? and who authorised it? i want to speak to the manager

have you ever seen someone with such a pleased little expression on their face in your life???? someday i wish to experience this level of joy

(via @jsaros) i could say so much about so many things. nothing appropriate.

 when designing his mask for this year’s winter classic, juuse apparently decided to uphold the tradition of the younger goalie of the tandem being very publicly hero worship-y about the other, by putting pekka on his mask. like juuse. you see the man every day. why do you need a photo of him on the side of your head?????

and that, friends, is (very briefly) juuse saros! i love him and his extravagant goalie flexibility antics so goddamn much, and i am so excited to watch how his career develops over the next few years - he’s gonna be so fucking good 🥺

[bisluthq]

The anon who sent you the "Those are my moral values" quote provides a classic example of what another anon mentioned earlier: many of Taylor's fans simply cannot accept that she is an adult who does adult things. The quotation in question is from a US Weekly article from January 24, 2008, when she had only just turned 18! It's risible to suggest she hasn't changed at all since then, or to accuse her of lying if her lifestyle now is not as she envisaged it back then lol.

But like it did turn out that way? She has never been arrested or caught with DUI - and IMO she’s like me where she would think twice about getting behind a wheel after anything other than a lite beer or cider. She hushed up Matty rumors because THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN A BAD LEWK FOR ALL THIS (which again is why the “they were PR” argument is so funny). She has only ever been an impeccable role model.

Like she’s a rich and famous adult woman tho as you say and she’s lived a normal rich and famous adult life.

While also being a great role model.

That’s not a lie man like it’s not a lie to not glorify drugs and alcohol and casual sex even when you indulge in those things.

It’s just being responsible.

Finally yeah like we change our minds on what our hard limits are as we get older. When I was a kid I had an argument with my parents because I was like “I would never ever go to bed after 10! That’s too late!!” and like I believed that at the time? I’ve also done other stuff I like hard believed I would never. We grow up and things change and shit that seems unappealing becomes the norm or feels safe.

Tay’s morals didn’t change though. Again, she is an outstanding role model.

Her doing some blow at parties when she was 24 wouldn’t change that.

[sweetrosetta-martin]

Beatle tag (cause why not ✌💗) 

I’m new to this fandom online, so what best way to present myself but doing this (plz don't kill me guys I come in peace).

 But I do have to give an special to @sgt-revolver cause thanks to their post I decided to do it. 

How long have you been a fan ?: About two years if I’m not wrong, but god it has been two intense ones. Long story short, this band never was part of my life (grew up in a different culture) until the day I was reading some fanfiction in AO3 and stumbled across one about them. I then found out they were the guys behind “Let it be” and “Here comes the sun” so I decided do dig even deeper..... (Now I’m here simping and crying to their music at 2am) 🙃

 Favorite Beatle: Used to be Paul (man got a charm) but when I better discovered George as a hole human being, and not only a Beatle, I went 💥. Tho, sometimes I do get frustrated with him and stay on John’s side cause he was lowkey relatable and a big bi-disaster mood. (I suddenly feel bad for Rings.... srry bro ) 

Favorite era for music: At the beginning I didn't like the mop top era and practically only listened from Help! to then end, but now I appreciate each period as a part of the band’s musical history and can’t help to fangirl to most songs. (Tho I’ll always have a soft spot for 1966)

Favorite era for lewks: Each Beatles had its own I think. Ringo as a teddy boy (he looks like the bad boy of your dreams), George in 65` (longer hair but not to long and just overlay hotness) and Paul/John in 66`. (The perfect balance between early and late looks)

Favorite song: Guess it depends on my mood, but it’s surely a tight between “Strawberry fields forever”, “Happiness is a warm gun”, “Lovely Rita” “While my guitar gently weeps”, “Don't bother me” and “Across the universe”. (This is such an unfair question xd)

Favorite album: Honestly I just can’t decide.. Its prob either “The Beatles (aka white album)”, “With the Beatles” or “Revolver” 

Unpopular/Controversial Beatles opinion: “Revolution 9″ is not an unlistenable song and has an actual artistic value. I mean, I don’t think is a song meant to be listened during a car ride, but I do think it encapsulates pretty well the chaotic and changing vibe of the late 60s. This song makes you feel unwell because it’s meant to. Despite that, I do believe it should not have been included on the album, but rather as a John/Yoko project. (Ik Geo had a input though)

A song everyone loves but you dislike: Never was the biggest fan of “Come together” or “With a little help from my friends”. They are not necessarily bad, but rather average for me

A song everyone dislikes but you love: “Run for your life”... I know the lyrics are quite nasty but its so catchy and I love George’s guitar in it. I also really like “Dizzy Miss Lizzy”, but I don’t know if it really is that unpopular among people

Your fantasy involving The Beatles: The PG one or the ??.. 

JK, but I would have love to meet them during their cavern/casbah days. Like about 1961, just to chat with them about rock n roll and even jam some songs. (Even if I’m not sure that I would love to do that as a girl or a guy). And I sincerely wish I could just have some deep conversations with George and John while we share a joint . I just wish I could have known them better... 

Tell us about the moment you knew you were a fan: When returning home after a long school day I decided to look after some live material (At the time I only knew like 4 songs). I put YouTube on my tv, and found “She loves you” . I was not the same girl after watching that video. If I could explain how I suddenly felt so much joy and excitement looking at them that I even started singing and dancing. The rest is history 😉

Did you ever have a genuine ‘The Beatles suck !’ phase before becoming a fan?: Because their music was not around me 24/7 growing up, I never got fed up with their music. For me almost everything was new and interesting, so I never had a hater phase 

Favorite Beatle’s book: Have not read any for the moment, but I’m dying to buy Cynthia’s and May’s books. (Also the autobiography “I me mine” by George) 

Thoughts on the old generation of fans: Even if the few experiences I’ve had with them have not been good, I know most of them are chill people. I also love some podcasts made by first or second gen fans. The only thing that I dislike, is the average boomer who will claim they know more than you cause they were alive at the time, even if the only song they know its “Hey Jude” . (Or those who treat John as a saint, and blame the hole break-up on Paul... smh)

If Hollywood were to make a high budget Beatles biopic, what is one thing you desperately hope they include?: I wish they wont do it (We already got enough movies), but if they do something, it would be better if it was a series and not a film. If it had to happen, they better not forget how young the guys really were and how they were actual people. I know they were ground-breaking in so many ways, but they were also human beings with many defaults and even a bit naïve in some aspects. If you only give me a wife-beater (nasty) John, delicate flower Paul, silent George and dumb Ringo, the cartoon series has done a better job than you. 

Do you read/write fanfic: One word.... Yes... *Hides her unfinished drafts*

Are you the only one in your family/friend group to enjoy them?: Sadly yes. I have to force my dad to play some Beatle music while driving cause most of the music he plays is raegetton, and even if I’m proud of my Latino roots.. I’ll do salsa or merengue anytime but not some Bad Bunny ok. 

Are you a shipper?:  Yup

Favorite movie starring/made by them?: Help!.. I mean I also love AHDN, but it’s just so funny to see them run around being high af as they play music despite Ringo being in mortal danger. (Also the visuals we get each song just give me such a MTV vibe. Its genuinely beautiful)

Do you believe in McLennon?: *smirks at the camera*

General opinions on McLennon?: Oh boy. The Lennon/McCartney relationship is one that seems out of my grandma telenovelas. From Paris to the breakup, their story is one of up and downs, but they never really stopped loving each other. Not even death could stop their link as Paul still dreams of him and thinks about John when composing songs. I understand that not everyone may be convinced that something really happened, but I think we all should be open to the possibility. 

If you got to change ONE thing about their history, what would be and why?: Brian’s death. The beginning of the end was the moment he passed away. With Brian the band would still have broke up (All things must pass, even the good ones), but it would have been less messed up. No Paul trying to take the lead a bit too much, Apple Corps probably being better handled and no Allen Klein messing up everything. (And probably no Yoko in the studio but that may be a bit of a stretch) 

What song has the best vocals?: As a group, “Because” it’s probably the one. Such a simple, yet perfectly well put vocals. The peak of their talent for harmonizing in my opinion. In another side “Oh Darling!” is prob Paul best and John’s voice in “This Boy” always get me

What song do you feel had no effort put into it?: Prob an unpopular opinion but “Eight Days a Week” is such a basic song. It’s not innovative, it just uses the formula, and I feel like around this time the guys were kind of tired and just fabricated the song to be a single. It simply not feels genuine, and for me it shows the biggest problem from the “Beatles for Sale” era. 

What is a well talked moment in Beatles history you genuinely believe to be false?: The way Yoko met John. The most known story is that they met each other at a Yoko art gallery, but many sources (such a Cynthia or Brian personal assistant) tell us a complete different truth. I do believe she knew the band, stalked John and force herself into his life, despite of the romantic tale she keeps repeating. 

What is something you KNOW to be true, but often gets erased in their history: John. So many things about John. Many see him as only a funny character and ignore so many cues that he was a man struggling with his own self esteem to the point of having eating disorders. Not forgetting his fluid sexuality, the fact that many think that as house husband all his problems went away or that he was a wife beater. John was more than the “Imagine” martyr or  monster so many people (even some fans) make out of him.

Least favorite look from a Beatle(s): Ringo in the Help! movie. Horrible mushroom hair 😂

Favorite look from a Beatle(s):  George Harrison in the “Hey Bulldog”/”Lady Madonna” videoclip. (I also want that cherry SG Standard so bad omg)

I really don’t know how many others have done it but here are my tags 

@rocknroll-imagines @moreofthatdrowse @cultofbeatle @joan-deserved-the-silver-hammer

Thanks a lot guys !! ❤✌🥦🐘🎵😎

[cinemaocd]

Sophia Cracroft Looks, Rated

I’m hopping on the Terror Looks, Rated Meme bandwagon with @henrylevesconte​, @bomburjo, @radiojamming​, and @theiceandbones,  because ya girl can definitely bring the looks!

Here is Sophia the first time she appears in episode one. It’s a flashback to the theater. Crozier is about to propose. Trying to figure out when this is supposed to be because she is wearing totally different clothes here than she is in the dinner scene when she said “he proposed again” and different to the “does one not bring their habits to marriage” scene. So either she’s changing clothes three times in one night or Crozier has come to see her to propose on a different day. I’m so confused! ANYWAY this is my least favorite Sophia look. The dress is very fussy and I loath the sleeves. It is at least her signature color: blue. She gets an extra point for the floral detail at the shoulder which is kind of nice and I like that she often has flowers in her hair. Overall Sophia’s hairstyle isn’t super historically accurate. The center part is right, but it’s too soft and fluffy and modern, I think. Also the back ringlets definitely look like a hairpiece in this scene. 5/10.

Up next is the dinner scene, Franklin’s flashback in episode 2 after he says “strange to think of this place as home.” In the “habits to marriage” scene they are interrupted by Lady Jane who tells Sophia it’s time to change for dinner, so I think she changed from the patterned day dress (inset) to this evening blue/green silk evening dress with the low neck. She’s also changed her jewelry and hair ornaments which must have taken some time. To make things even weirder Crozier has changed as well, but then he decides not to stay for dinner and leaves after he overhears Franklin talkin shit about him. So. much. changing. Not. enough. eating! Anyway, this look is better than the fussy theater dress, but probably slightly less historically accurate (plain, long sleeves on an evening dress in the 1840s are rare) The floral ornaments and simple jewelry make a nice look. Sian Brooke really has killer collarbones as you can see here. 6/10

Sophia’s only appearance in episode 3 is this millisecond flashback of Sir John, just before he dies. This is literally his final thought. Why? My theory is that he felt guilty about the way he’d handled the whole situation, esp. since he reveals that he has witnessed a scene of great affection between them, when they don’t know he’s looking. For the longest time I thought this was the same day as the habits to marriage scene, but it’s not the same dress. This striped day dress is the least blue thing that Sophia wears, but maybe because it’s a flashback to happier times? I’ve headcanoned this as being in Francis’ rooms (which is why he is not wearing his coat and why Sophia knows how many drawers he uses...) Extra points for her accessory: handsome Irish sea captain in billowing white shirtsleeves. 8/10

This is one of my absolute favorite Sophia looks. I love a good bonnet and this is a stunner. The combination of teal and blue velvet over aubergine silk? Simply TDF. The flowers are very dark and the whole vibe is more sombre here with the deep navy velvet jacket with fur trim and paisley lining (I DIE). The blue/green silk dress with the black bone button closures is really sharp and almost military with the stripe and the pintucking. All of this is set off by that yellow ribbon (which probably has a symbolic significance). None of Sophia’s skirts are really full enough to be historically accurate, but both she and Lady J need to act next to one another and remain in the same post code, so I forgive it. 10/10

OK this is the ICONIC Sophia Cracroft lewk. This stunning graphic day dress with long sleeves, shows off her collar bones and that set of lapis beads. (My headcanon...Crozier bought her those in Van Dieman’s land). The details on this dress are so impressive: the pintucks that come to a V at the waist, the little accordian puff at the elbow, the blue piping. Sophia’s hair looks great in this scene and the the blue hair tie is such a nice touch. This is a dress in which to break a man’s heart and make a horrible mistake! 100/10

Another stunning graphic day dress, trimmed in blue piping, another amazing bonnet, this time with a powder blue ribbon. Minus one point because I prefer her in an open neckline. 9/10

Sophia’s final look is somewhere between a day and an evening look: a 3/4 length sleeve blue silk dress with a boat neck and lots of pintucking but no jewelry or decorations. The detailing on this bodice is absolutely masterful. Another beautiful neckline to show off her collarbones. Extra points for matching slippers, perfect for slipping off in the snow so that you can wallow in your shitty, shitty life choices.  -1,000,000/10

[frostsong]

LUCUBRATION

Philippe Herve Donatien de Dansereau was born seven years her junior, a boy of some eight sweet summers. He had hair the same shade as her own, but in soft, smooth tufts just over his pink-tipped ears. His birth was long awaited and lavishly celebrated--the first of many indulgences he’d been entitled to, as the treasured heir.

 But the expectations their elders had gathered for months while he grew in their mother’s womb fell short when he began to show signs of his fragile health, and so the dreams of him becoming an honored knight were out of the question, especially at his mother’s behest. And of everyone in the family Donatien took the news best, swinging his legs off the chair at dinnertime and retiring to his room and the books piled high on the nightstand beside his bed. 

There was talk of having him enrolled in the Scholasticate, where his penchant for learning could be cultivated into a different kind of honor, but honor enough to land their surname into even better graces. The Baron grew impatient by the day as his wife and mother quarreled to keep the boy from heading away too soon, and so it became a subject of contention at their meals, which was all the more reason for the center of attention to sweep his plate clean as soon as possible.

When Euphemie found herself with nothing better to do, she always paid her brother a visit. Her parents and their servants are proper enough to announce themselves before opening the door, but there was an unspoken comfort in how she simply opened the door wordlessly, her other arm bent behind her and cradling a bundle of stolen tarts from the kitchen. The scent alone as she unraveled it was enough to draw his attention, with a starry shine in his silver eyes. 

During late nights he found himself sneaking into his sister’s bedroom, his bedtime chemise layered by a warmer robe, and he’d crept into her sheets, seeking out a warmth he could find nowhere else. He would beam wide for her in the dark of her bedroom, small arms wrapped around a book heavy enough to dent her mattress over to one side, and she would always relent, not because he’s the heir but because he’s her baby brother.

Sometimes, while she’s half-asleep with the faint candlelight in the corner of her vision, she can hear him whisper syllables, repeated and practiced until they become words. They’re long words, boring words--but to him they never are. Occasionally she’d give up trying to sleep and prop herself up on her elbows, her flowing mane wild and unkempt across her shoulders rendered bare from her loose nightgown, a sight her mother would never allow beyond the bedroom door. But Euphemie knows her brother doesn’t care, despite him knowing the deeper reasons behind it--he’s mature for his age, more mature than she was.

“...How do you say it again?” She murmurs, tilting the side of her head to scratch an itch beneath her curtain of hair.

“Luh--cub--”

“Lew, sister. It rhymes with dew.” He says at a matter of factly, startlingly clear for being up at such an ungodly hour. He’s sitting cross-legged with the opened book on his lap, his thick robe too warm against her legs, and she has to slide them to the side. 

“Lewk--you--bration.” 

“And what does it mean.” She stretches an extended arm to the drawer of her nightstand, hand fumbling at the contents before grasping the helm of a brush.

“Study. Or an old piece of writing.” He leans into the touch of soft bristles against his head.

“Why don’t they just write study. Save us the trouble.” She snorts, brushing his hair while leaning on her side. There’s something idyllic in moments as secret as this, an odd form of rebellion in the name of extra warmth.

“I think each carries its own feeling. Like when Audrey makes tart, but puts different things on the inside.” He pipes thoughtfully, small fingers parting the pages once more. His reply is too soft and sincere for something so sarcastic, and it makes her smile.

“You do have a point there.” She lets the bristles tickle the back of his neck hidden snug under the collar of his robe, earning a peal of laughter. She’s heard him chuckle, and seen him smile, but he only ever laughs this loudly, this freely, when she’s there with him.

“What do you think of us going to Coerthas?” She words it quietly, carefully. She’s heard more than enough of everyone else’s opinion, but she hasn’t heard him voice his own, not counting the times he’d reassured their mother.

“I’m excited.” He keeps his smile, bright and dimpled just like hers, now looking directly at her with the opened book left forgotten atop his legs.

“I want to see all the snow.” 

“You don’t tire of seeing it here?” 

“That merchant Father spoke to says it’s different there. No buildings as tall as here for malms on end. All just white, even the rivers.” The way her brother describes something he hasn’t seen is endearing. And yet she can’t help but be selfish as he loses himself in what he knows through another’s eyes, selfish and comparing it with what she knew of it to be. It’s fair to say that neither of them know what the countryside of here and now looks like, and in that they can both be, at most, pleasantly surprised. There still may be wide open spaces, and Euphemie can presume that there will be less of sharing, more of claiming the good parts. Fifteen years of eagerly waiting to break free from the city walls and relishing in the wind with the tall grasses soft against her legs and Euphemie never once felt that the wide expanse of land could be easily divided, like a pie on a platter. But it was still done, and even more stubbornly so after the calamity, with the landed lords scrambling after the favored pieces as scavenging mice. 

“...and the karakuls! I want to see them.” Donatien’s cheeks are warm just thinking of the fluffy round creatures that skittered and bleated, having only encountered a few on a visit to a relative. Embarrassing for the son of a family who has them by the hundreds. 

“Well. I’m certain you’ll fit right in.” Euphemie smirks and dances her fingers in a tickle against the fabric of his nightshirt, sending him into a fit of laughter, but she stops short to keep the others from waking, casting a cautionary glare over her shoulder. He, too, crawls back on his knees and ducks under the sheets, eyeing the doorway, but when no one comes the two of them sigh in relief.

“I think you’ll like it in Coerthas.” She concludes with her own verdict, blowing the candlelight dead and pulling the duvet over the heads. Donatien’s smile opens in a yawn as he settles in with the book against his bare feet.

“I think I will too.” 

[punkscowardschampions]

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: [I'm gonna say he's just full on sat next to her for food or whatever after also sitting next to her on the coach/minibus etc] Jimmy: let's not stop meeting like this Janis: Hope you don't think this harrassment is going to fly Janis: not a Catholic school Jimmy: You'd have to speak up, reckon that's about as likely as Jesus weighing in on the issue Jimmy: but alright I owe you a vape pen, glue stick or whatever else the paddy youth classes as a fun time Janis: Wouldn't wanna inflate your ego more than everyone else has Janis: or talk to you, obvs Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: congrats on your immunity Jimmy: 🏅🏆 Janis: To what? Janis: the clap or your lack of charm Jimmy: both Jimmy: you're a real winner, girl Janis: aw thanks Janis: if you want tossing off under the table though, you've got plenty other options Jimmy: a real heart breaker, you Jimmy: gives me a better idea Jimmy: tah Janis: that's me Janis: brains and beauty Janis: ? Jimmy: don't forget modesty and humility Jimmy: use your 💔 talents to publicly me and I can spend the rest of this trip in exile Jimmy: 🎻😭🎻 Janis: i'd rather, tah Janis: you want that rep? Janis: guess a pussy is pretty undesirable Jimmy: more than the one they're trying to give me, yeah Jimmy: not the only 🧠 on board Janis: no jerking off, remember Janis: fine Janis: leave your vape pen at home Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: don't touch me Jimmy: or my nonexistent vape pen Janis: not planning on it Janis: school trips are ample molestation time all 'round but me and Mr Lucas got other 🎯 Jimmy: what is the plan then? Jimmy: be 💔 to cockblock you and him and that's your thing more than mine Janis: you've come to me with no plan? Janis: 'course Janis: right, who's in your room? Jimmy: if you can't do it you ain't the girl for me Jimmy: and if you are, I ain't gonna tell you how to work Jimmy: Dunno, man bun, deepest of v neck t-shirts? Jimmy: probably does vape Janis: yeah, dead considerate, I buy it Janis: not bad description though, if you're a police informant, you're giving the game away Janis: later, message me when he's got his mates in your room, yeah Janis: step 1 Jimmy: 👌 💰 Jimmy: I'm 45 and faking being a real boy, the 😎 hide my crows feet Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [when you 😏 irl] Janis: explains the whole look, really Jimmy: [likewise cos she's funny too] Jimmy: save it for the break up, sweetheart Janis: rest assured, just 'cos you're new doesn't mean I've not got enough insults for you to spare Jimmy: that'll be why I asked you Jimmy: all in for that 👅 baby, sharper the better Janis: obviously Janis: not like I'm the only bitch who wouldn't take this as a 💍 Jimmy: 🤞 Mr Lucas has picked one out for you Jimmy: 👰🎊💕 Janis: 😩😩😩 Janis: don't get my hopes up Jimmy: my bad, mate Jimmy: You want me to give him a nudge? Only take the one screenshot, I'm sure Janis: idk if he swings both ways Janis: or that a 🍆📸 is gonna help my case Janis: but cheers, mate Jimmy: give him a bit to get to know me Jimmy: and appreciate my many talents Jimmy: be alright Janis: defs what they had in mind for the group bonding sesh Jimmy: bit rude to skip it then, like Janis: who are you to deny the world of your 'talents' Janis: I feel a migraine coming on though Jimmy: with a head that big it's gonna be a killer Janis: 🤞 Janis: I'll need all afternoon Jimmy: 🙏🏻 for you, my dear Janis: 💕 Jimmy: 😘 Janis: [a dramatic 😑 deadpan] Jimmy: [he's just like 😏 of course] Jimmy: the dickheads are about Janis: alright Janis: get ready to answer the door Janis: [idea is she shows up so whoever the f was in her room at the time knows she's gone somewhere (and they nosy af so they'll be ON IT) and then these lads will see them go off together and thus the rumour-mill can do it's thing without them having to do more than go and hide and smoke somewhere for a hot sec] Jimmy: if you're gonna be naked give me a heads up to be 😍 not 😑 Jimmy: whatever the rumour mill reckons I weren't on that teen soap Janis: alright, hollyoaks Janis: the accent and the IQ, not any of the emotional range Janis: subtly is your friend even if I ain't, nothing makes them lose their shit more Jimmy: maybe you do have something going on behind them 👀 Janis: save the 'compliments' for when you 'reckon they're just out of earshot, boy Jimmy: save the bossiness for when Mr Lucas wifes you Janis: you're the one that said you weren't gonna tell me how to work Janis: so fuck up if you want my face to be anything but not at your door Jimmy: you're working them not me Jimmy: so crack on Janis: pick up a hoodie or a jacket yeah Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: what's your colour? Janis: right, so you aren't a total amateur Janis: ⬛️ works 😎 boy Jimmy: It's how we woo girls in the freezing cold north Janis: try not to freeze yourself 'cos naturally you can't have it back 'til this shitshow is over Jimmy: are you dyslexic? I just said 💪 Janis: believe that when I see it Janis: [shows up] Jimmy: [off you go 'sneakily' haha] Janis: [she's 100% in a shortie PJs moment for the added scandal of it all 'cos unlike the rest she hasn't bought all the LEWKS to this trip honey, hence the need for the hoodie] Jimmy: [don't check her out too much boy cos we know that's actually a look and you wanna] Janis: [avoid the teachers on the way out but get caught on the way in, 'cos no one ever gets in proper trouble on school trips 'cos they cba but again, gets people shooketh] Jimmy: [such a mood, unrelated but I once mooned on a school trip] Janis: [just walking in casual silence right now] Jimmy: [literally not gonna say a word this whole time lbr] Janis: [suits both of you, just be somewhere they can't be peeping] Jimmy: [you know he's 🚬 because always, casually retrieved from behind his ear because #mood] Janis: [just stealing it 'cos what else are you gonna do frankly] Jimmy: [giving her a look like oi and stealing it back cos likewise] Janis: [when you're just snatching lmao, 'YOU owe ME, dickhead, so consider your debt repaid' 😏] Jimmy: [lights a new one for her and gives her it like aim higher because shady bitch and also that's a habit from day 1] Janis: [raises it like cheers] Jimmy: [tips a hat he doesn't have on] Janis: [the 🙄 but we know you sneaky amused] Jimmy: [gotta give them back because its what they always do] Janis: [gestures like gimme your phone] Jimmy: [does without a second thought which makes me die] Janis: [lucky she's not being a dick with it, takes a cute/vaguely sexy pic in his hoodie and saves her number handing it back with a shrug like now you can brag as much as you do or don't wanna 'cos how boys do] Jimmy: [sends her a text which is literally just '😍' so she has his] Janis: [sends back a '🖕'] Jimmy: [sends back '💔'] Janis: ['😂'] Jimmy: [when you gesture at her to come here so you can take a pic together because she needs something in her phone too in case of nosy bitches] Janis: [does, obvs, start as you mean to go on lads] Jimmy: [casual photo session] Janis: [you know grace is blowing her phone up like WHERE HAVE YOU GONE rn] Jimmy: [the truest thing, hold on honey, they're busy] Jimmy: [he'd give her a bemused look cos miss popular is not the mood he expected but like also he knows the plan is working so can't complain] Janis: [the face you'd make 'cos it looks like you're just bffs with her and not related like omg no] Jimmy: [it'd make him lol he wouldn't be able to help it] Janis: [just scowling in that last pic] Jimmy: [casually his fave out of all the pics] Janis: [the temptation to send one to her just to shut her up but that'd be too easy so you gotta make her work for it lol] Jimmy: [you'll have so much time to shut everyone up, hang in there kids] Janis: [for now enjoy the literal irl silence] Jimmy: [it would be so nice cos his roommate would be as annoying and loud] Janis: [I legit thought you were describing Ollie so #real when your fam is just too much] Jimmy: [#confirmed and whatever girlfriend he has currently should be on the trip too so it's even more annoying to share] Janis: [fun and games, defs kicking grace out so you can 'get it on' 'cos she'll be fuming, everyone coupled] Jimmy: [we simply must] Jimmy: [she'd have to throw herself at some random trip lad so as not to be entirely left out which is not a mood] Janis: [can only imagine the quality gurl no] Jimmy: [honestly, don't even bother but we know she will] Janis: [god bless, also you can probably start heading back lads] Jimmy: [take a second to imagine the kiss when he walks her back, like enjoy everyone but also you two shamelessly] Janis: could've warned me, prick Jimmy: so you're the amateur then? Jimmy: could've warned me of that Janis: fuck off Janis: was following the 'don't touch me' rule Jimmy: you never said I couldn't touch you Janis: 'cos it's a given Janis: whatever Janis: it worked Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: you don't think? Jimmy: you that confident? Janis: i get it, lads ain't AS hysterical as girls are Janis: usually Janis: these headphones aren't as noise-canceling as they promised Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: not for you, but as far as the plan Janis: you're welcome Jimmy: not for long Jimmy: exile, remember Janis: ain't got a spare room I can magic out my arse for you Jimmy: I get it, we ain't back at your mansion now Jimmy: it's alright, rich girl, no hard feelings Janis: 😢 some more, pussyole Janis: you wanna swap beds? Jimmy: you want that rep this soon? Jimmy: I've had a few less than 🥇 nights with northern lasses but nowt worth crying about Janis: you can spare me the details if you want an invite Janis: the idea is to be less annoying than this lot Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: hope you don't think i'm doing this work for free Janis: they reckon we're having such a scintillating conversation rn, again, welcome Jimmy: what you don't love an emoji standoff? Janis: 😍 Janis: of course Jimmy: if you need me to make you 😳 that's one of my talents Janis: sure Janis: that shit don't work on me Jimmy: sure Jimmy: you're well special, you Jimmy: a proper ❄ Janis: if you like Janis: or you ain't as special as you've been led to believe but either or Jimmy: the idea is to be less annoying than this lot, in your own words Janis: if you think i'm the type to take the higher ground whilst you continue to be a dickhead, you got the wrong bitch Jimmy: If you think this is me being a dickhead, you've got the wrong northern new boy Janis: scary Janis: is this the part where i cream myself? Jimmy: You can't kiss and you scare too easily Jimmy: is there owt else I gotta be warned about? Janis: you couldn't make a 🐷😳 Jimmy: you've got body issues an' all ✔ Jimmy: what diet are you on, I'll try and look interested Janis: wrong sister Janis: pass on your deets Jimmy: Tah Janis: have fun Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [skip to after am activities which they slayed as a #team] Janis: tah for not dragging me down too much Jimmy: I were about to say the same thing to you, girl Jimmy: 💕 Janis: wow, so in-synch Janis: what am I thinking rn Jimmy: it'd make a 🐷😳 Janis: [when you barely hold back that lol] Janis: oh well Janis: 💕 whilst it lasted babe Jimmy: fuck it, I'm still pretty Jimmy: 🧠 off for a bit Janis: sound like a delusional single ma Janis: you'll bounce back, karen, you still got it Jimmy: that'll be 'cause I am Jimmy: two kids and no man Janis: 💔 Janis: make the most of this you time Jimmy: on it Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: 🙌📣👏🏆 Jimmy: living laughing loving Jimmy: all in this one morning Janis: break out the pink gin and prosecco babes Jimmy: It's a #date Janis: the lack of booze on this trip is shocking Janis: someone's got to have something Jimmy: meant to be what you paddys are known for Jimmy: sort it out, the lot of yous Janis: if I find the goods, I won't share 💕 Jimmy: actually 💔 Jimmy: I'll sneak off and find my own then Jimmy: gotta be a pub somewhere Janis: you reckon you're getting free Jimmy: why not? Janis: 😎 not ninja Jimmy: I'll send you a selfie once I've had a few Jimmy: proof'll be in the pint Janis: fuck off are you going without Jimmy: you reckon you're coming with? piss off Janis: i won't need to chat to you when we get there Janis: if Jimmy: you don't need to chat to me now but on you go Janis: this ain't talking Janis: and you can't stop me Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: you'll get over it Janis: dry your eyes Jimmy: You'll get over staying here Janis: fuck off, you don't even know where we are Jimmy: I've got a 📱 knobhead Jimmy: [waves it at her IRL] Janis: call a hotline to 😢🍆👌 it out Jimmy: phone a friend to take you to the pub Jimmy: I'll see you there Janis: I can go myself, dickwad Janis: 🤞 we don't pick the same one Jimmy: I'll avoid anywhere called the Blushing Pig Jimmy: know it's your local Janis: you'll wanna avoid anywhere too local with that accent Jimmy: I ain't scared, leave that to you, like Janis: piss off Jimmy: the plan's that, yeah Janis: okay, try this one, shut up Jimmy: this ain't talking Jimmy: what happened to that? Janis: i make the rules Janis: it's talking when i want you to not Jimmy: 😍🤤😍 Janis: 🙄 Janis: laters then Jimmy: in a bit Janis: ✌ flip reverse that Jimmy: [nearly lols] Jimmy: 😘 Janis: 💕 Jimmy: went from hot to cute well quick Janis: yeah, not the only one with talents Jimmy: I might believe you when I see any Janis: I were about to say the same thing to you, boy Jimmy: I got in there first, girl Jimmy: what are you gonna do? Janis: fact remains, no blushes, just bullshit Janis: and to get to the pub? Janis: not helping you, amateur Jimmy: [sends her some real saucy shit use your imagination cos we know I don't have skills] Jimmy: To hide your blush or top that Janis: [when you have to make a face of disgust so it ain't straight up 😳] Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [at least her going out for a run would not be weird if the teachers asked] Jimmy: [run baby run] Janis: [jump that fence, you're defs getting into trouble after the hols, starting the new term off well before finishing this one] Jimmy: [start as you mean to go on, everyone will be scandalised] Janis: [just ignoring each other lmao] Jimmy: [good luck with that] Janis: did you get lost Jimmy: did you pull a muscle? Janis: I'm 💪 Jimmy: no proof, just chat Janis: proof is how far behind you're lagging Jimmy: Piss off Janis: aw baby Jimmy: save your sweet talk, Judith Jimmy: you might need the practice but I don't need to hear it Janis: gotta concentrate on your 🗺 Janis: only so much 🧠 power a Northern boys got Jimmy: congrats on being a native, mate Janis: ain't that hard Janis: one main road Jimmy: I'll drop you in my old home town and you can let me know how well you crack on Janis: alright Janis: piss easy Jimmy: 👌 Janis: can't be much worse than here Jimmy: can be your own judge Janis: generous Jimmy: I ain't buying you a pint Jimmy: stop flirting with me Janis: I'll get someone of age to do that Janis: tah Jimmy: 🧠 and 🍀 Janis: just tits Janis: don't feel too bad Jimmy: I feel bad for you if you're banking on that Janis: 10 feminist points for you, pop up a status #ally Jimmy: I meant 'cause your sister's are better but alright Janis: didn't see her hauling her arse over no fence but alright Jimmy: nobody asked her, that'll be why Jimmy: must be politer than you an' all Janis: find your way back and shag her then, like Jimmy: If I fancied that I wouldn't be here Jimmy: but tah for giving us your blessing Janis: got more chance that than getting a drink Jimmy: take that 🍻 chance still Janis: tits aren't that good then Jimmy: To cancel out the lass attached she'd need them🥇 Jimmy: I'm new, but that don't mean I ain't got a single clue about nowt Janis: so made up you've seen a boob, mate Jimmy: me too, like Janis: 👌 Janis: [sends picture of drink like mission accomplished] Jimmy: 👏 Jimmy: you should post that somewhere you can actually brag Janis: tah for the suggestion Janis: wait 'til I'm finished Janis: Lucas don't need my location Jimmy: How else is he meant to propose? Jimmy: 💔 for him Janis: you wanna 💔 him when I get caught cheating Jimmy: he's 💕 I'm just here to make you 😳 Janis: not talking about you, you ain't here Jimmy: not talking to me either, this don't count Janis: too right Jimmy: 👍 Janis: be thinking up #s for me if you've got the brain space Jimmy: How much you gonna pay me, rich girl? Janis: get you a pint if you ever make it Jimmy: [struts in] Jimmy: Go on then Janis: [gets the lad to get 'em all a drink in, sure he is thrilled lmao] Jimmy: [#cockblocked] Janis: 👏 on not dying Jimmy: might do on the way back Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: 🎻 Jimmy: wouldn't be a tragedy to miss more team building Janis: I don't wanna give you cpr Jimmy: don't bring it up then Jimmy: I never asked Janis: I don't care Janis: not catching a case 'cos you're suicidal Jimmy: I get it, you need the practice for that an' all Janis: I get it, you're a dick Jimmy: Is there owt you can do on the first try? Janis: none of your business Jimmy: no then Jimmy: alright Janis: you don't know me Janis: and you don't need to Jimmy: 👌❄ Jimmy: I don't want to Janis: sure Janis: so don't ask Jimmy: It weren't a real question, more of a dig Janis: like I said, I get it Janis: real edgy stuff Jimmy: whatever big head, you know things Jimmy: I got that myself ages ago Janis: yeah, you're dead convincing, hollyoaks Jimmy: I wouldn't bother auditioning if I were you Jimmy: they really care about tits Janis: you're fooled Janis: but thanks for the advice Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [when your phone's going off 'cos only so long before they'd be obligated to call the police lol but they'd try to get contact first, massive 🙄] Janis: drink up, newbie Jimmy: no chance, I just got here Janis: you wanna be dragged out by a teacher Janis: that'll look well 😎 Jimmy: If it's Mr Lucas Jimmy: 😍🤤😍 Janis: [short lol like ha] Janis: alright then, enjoy Janis: [going out with the dude] Jimmy: 💕 Janis: [after a period] Janis: I'll tell 'em where to find you then, shall I? Jimmy: such a romantic, you Janis: well it ain't gonna look very #goals but that's your choice Jimmy: Thought you were making the rules Janis: I ain't gonna drag you out, nice try perv Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: do whatever the fuck you are gonna do then, Jennifer Janis: 🙄 omg get out Janis: take the glass with you if you're aiming for impressive here Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: what are you trying to achieve Jimmy: We've done this bit, don't know each other, don't want to, ring any bells? Jimmy: and it should be obvious for a 🧠 like yours Janis: you want to get them to leave you alone, sure Janis: so you don't need to cause this scene Jimmy: Do you wanna be here? Janis: I didn't come for no reason Janis: but I don't need the garda called on me Jimmy: I came here for my dad's bollocks reasons Jimmy: so maybe I do Janis: alright Janis: I'll say I ain't seen you then Janis: if that's what you want Jimmy: that won't look right Jimmy: we're meant to be love's young dream Janis: right Janis: so we've really gotta bonnie and clyde it? Jimmy: I'll find another way to fuck him over Jimmy: without dragging you down into it Janis: cheers Janis: consider it an IOU, yeah Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: we should've taken more pictures Janis: I've text my sister, now they know we're not actually runaways/kidnapped/other, we can at least take our time before the bollocking Janis: get another drink if you want Jimmy: I don't have a 🔪 in my pocket everyone Jimmy: figure it out Janis: just pleased to see me, yeah Janis: good one Jimmy: 💀 pact's tomorrow Jimmy: and we're obviously using poison Janis: obviously, the ⛵ lake isn't deep enough to walk into the middle of Jimmy: and I don't have rocks in my pocket either Jimmy: they ain't that deep Janis: 💔💰 poor boy, right? Jimmy: Yep Jimmy: 🎻😭🎻 Janis: gutting Janis: I'll bring the poison then Jimmy: Tah Jimmy: I'll bring the 🥧 for you to poison Janis: it's for credit, by the way Jimmy: 👌 Janis: somehow shitter than I imagined still Jimmy: 💔 Janis: yeah yeah Janis: you got a 🚬? Jimmy: only thing actually in my pockets Janis: don't need an inventory can I have one Jimmy: If you come here Janis: so bloody awkward Jimmy: I don't get credit for exercising, mate Janis: 🙄 yeah cheers for the training Janis: [comes in though] Jimmy: [waves because cheeky little shit] Janis: [😑 just puts her hands out like tah] Jimmy: I said, come here Janis: [stomps closer like boy] Jimmy: [pulls her closer to him because 1. that bitch and 2. selfie opportunities shouldn't be ignored 3. shameless] Janis: [when you go hard for the selfies but then you push him back like oi] Jimmy: [when you likewise go hard for the selfies but then shrug and walk out knowing she'll follow you for that 🚬] Janis: you're so stupid Jimmy: *northern Janis: if you wanna do your people like that Janis: I'm just talking 'bout you Jimmy: We all understand what come here means Jimmy: my stupid dog just about does an' all Janis: fuck off Jimmy: Do you want a 🚬 or not? Janis: I did, you heard me Jimmy: Come on then Janis: [comes out but starts walking gesturing like let's go] Jimmy: [lights one for her and holds it out cos always] Janis: [takes it in silence] Jimmy: [walking and 🚬 in silence as is their standard] Janis: they better go easy on you 'cos you're a new kid and by proxy, me Jimmy: I'll play the 🎻🎻s loud Jimmy: it'll be alright Janis: yeah Janis: long as my parents don't find out and try to fuck with my holiday, give a fuck Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: like you wanna be grounded for 3 weeks Jimmy: like that'd be his choice of punishment Janis: lucky you Jimmy: Yeah Jimmy: poor you Janis: mhmm Jimmy: [is just 😒 but when is that not his face tbh] Janis: [so not gonna notice really] Jimmy: [deafening silence is also not a clue] Janis: don't snitch on me and I won't snitch on you Jimmy: 👍 Janis: later then Janis: [bolts 'cos awkward] Jimmy: [meanwhile he's taking his sweet time and we all know it] Janis: [the very next day, room cleaning duty 'cos you've been bad eggs] Jimmy: here's your chance to see if anyone has anything to drink Janis: true Janis: I'll do Dan and Jake's room then, that's where my money is Jimmy: 💕 and 🍀 girl Janis: godspeed Janis: 📸 anything good Jimmy: What kind of bollocks paddy punishment is this? Jimmy: barely started and I've got 🚬s and 💸 Janis: they ain't the sharpest Janis: plus they're terrified we'll turn around and say they went full on abuse of power away from school property Jimmy: You should let me in your room Janis: I ain't got nothing to steal, have at my sister's shit Janis: but seriously, they realise they've left us alone rn, dopes Jimmy: Later, dickhead Jimmy: when your sister is about Janis: twincest ain't the one Jimmy: 💔 Janis: Jack would disagree, clearly Janis: [retro pornmag moment] Janis: guess he knew the signal would be shit, clever boy Jimmy: can't be that clever if he ain't getting any off the page Janis: neither are you, like Jimmy: You're rocking my world, baby Jimmy: don't insult yourself Janis: 😏 Janis: right Jimmy: [a picture of some prescription pills] Jimmy: want these? Janis: won't even take offense to that implication Janis: go on Jimmy: 👌 Janis: You should come then Janis: later Jimmy: I don't wanna do drugs with you, Jodie Jimmy: it weren't the idea Janis: I get the idea, moron Janis: I'm saying yeah, probably should Jimmy: Alright Janis: these kids are idiots Janis: why have they bought half this shit Jimmy: not all of them, I just found your sister's friend's binge stash 🍫🍪🍬 Jimmy: won't be starving in a bit Janis: that's evil Janis: someone'll die if she don't get her cals Janis: 🤞 it's grace Jimmy: 😈 me Jimmy: come and get a 🍪 Janis: not your stupid dog Jimmy: she follows instructions 50% of the time Janis: 🖕 Janis: maybe if you were a better trainer Jimmy: more for me 💕 Janis: you enjoy, I'm busy Jimmy: I get it, it's decent porn Janis: that's it 🙄😂 Janis: but you've put me off now, twat Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Jimmy: 🍀 I'm coming over later then Janis: obviously Janis: how morally dubious is it to put Kieran's missus' bra in say Janis: Leon's bed Janis: asking for a friend Jimmy: I'd reckon you were morally obligated Jimmy: answering for everyone Janis: 😇 me Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: Pouring water in Brian's bed is gonna be my good deed for the day Janis: 🙏 Jimmy: Could've got into Catholic school well easily, me Janis: missed a trick Janis: you'd have loved it 📏😩 Jimmy: @iantaylor8 Janis: that is a username and a half Jimmy: Wait til you have a scroll, mate Jimmy: you'll be 😍🤤 Janis: 🍀 I don't need the sugar Jimmy: he ain't got the 💰 to be that kinda daddy Jimmy: and you ain't got step mum in you Janis: fuck you Janis: just 'cos you don't want that for you Jimmy: 'Cause you just said you're 😇 Jimmy: gotta be evil, knobhead Janis: suspect Janis: why you being almost nice Janis: you wanna share the swag I found Jimmy: #duh Janis: depends Janis: you eat all the 🍪s Jimmy: I'm only one lad Jimmy: there's fucking 1000s Janis: part-timer Janis: yeti could do it in five minutes Jimmy: you're the 😳🐷 Jimmy: but challenge accepted Janis: why you trying to give me an eating disorder Janis: you've already tampered with one bitch's today, like Janis: is it your thing? Jimmy: Why ain't you already got one? Jimmy: looks like most of the lasses at school have Janis: No I don't Janis: I'm not an idiot Jimmy: Sounds like something a lass with an eating disorder would say but alright Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: I'm going for a 🚬 Jimmy: cover me Janis: sure Janis: diligent as Jimmy: or come with Jimmy: if you want Janis: depends Janis: you giving me a 🚬 to stay skinny Jimmy: No need Janis: make your mind up Jimmy: I've never said you're fat Janis: bullshit! 😂 Janis: at least try to keep up with what you're dishing out Jimmy: I can't keep up with what ain't there Janis: the pig emoji is straight-up still on my screen, boy Jimmy: 🧠 and 😳 Janis: 😏 sure Jimmy: don't come then, girl Janis: shut up Janis: I want one Jimmy: Who's the biggest dickhead? We'll go in their room for it Janis: 🤔 Janis: 11 Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: race you Janis: big mistake Jimmy: [obviously beats her but only because he was halfway there when he said they should race #sneaky] Jimmy: 💪🏆 Janis: [just fuming 😒] Jimmy: [😏 shamelessly and lounging on the bed of whoever the hell's room this is] Janis: ['cheater' and sitting on the floor] Jimmy: [throws a pillow at her like oi even though he is but also so she can sit on it if she want #softboy] Janis: [just looking at him like I don't want a pillow] Jimmy: ['reckoned you might need one after being such a sore loser' shrugs and throws some 🍬s from the stash he's pocketed her way instead] Janis: ['don't get sore that easy, boy' popping one in her mouth and throwing whatever spoils she found into the middle] Jimmy: [lighting up x2 first for her and then him and then lying on the bed and staring up at the ceiling, bit rude that you haven't looked at what she brought boy] Janis: [takes it but is just ashing it on the floor] Jimmy: [blowing smoke rings at this random kid's ceiling casually] Janis: [just on your phone like] Jimmy: [when you lowkey are trying not to fall asleep because blatantly on his phone all night to Bobby 'cause he was left with Ian] Janis: [allowing it 'cos no need to be that much of a dick, like] Jimmy: [accidentally doing that OTT dramatic jerking yourself awake thing after a bit, which there's no styling out] Janis: [lil 😏 'don't set the gaff alight, too far'] Jimmy: ['if that's where you draw the line, babe'] Janis: ['save the big stuff for the death pact end times'] Jimmy: [does a IRL 👍] Janis: ['he keep you up?'] Jimmy: [when you nod automatically but obviously who you mean isn't who she means but you can't then be like actually no] Janis: [shakes her head like dickhead but kinda fondly 'cos doesn't hate Ollie] Jimmy: [when he doesn't know they are related still so amused] Janis: [just looking like you have a crush lmao] Jimmy: [lighting another 🚬 you don't need immediately after you've put the 1st one out in this room cos you don't wanna leave] Janis: [hopping up onto the bed to look through the shit he found 'cos no rush to go back to cleaning or being with the rest either] Jimmy: [sneaky looking at her while she's looking at the things] Janis: [oh duh, she should have the holy grail in a backpack 'cos someone had to have some booze even if it's just cans or shitty alcohpops, get that out like now it's a #haul] Jimmy: [yasss get #day drunk kids, well not really because there wouldn't be enough but still, have at it] Janis: [just putting one on his chest like a bottle for a baby lmao] Jimmy: [a little lol] Janis: 💕🍺 Jimmy: 🍻 Janis: ['Slainte'] Jimmy: [downs the drink cos the only thing to do when its shit] Janis: [the same] Jimmy: [eating all those sweet treats and necking all that booze having a lovely time] Janis: [get some energy boo] Jimmy: [being #goals together on the low] Janis: [selfie moment] Jimmy: [as always going harder than you need to] Janis: [gotta make people think you used your time wisely] Jimmy: [voting for the first ever love bite to happen rn] Janis: fuckin' vampire Jimmy: subtlety ain't always the way to get top marks Janis: alright 🤓 Janis: but if I die in a freak hickey accident, like they write about to scare bitches, you have to pretend to be devastated at my funeral Jimmy: you'll live, dry your eyes and wipe your mouth, like Janis: you with the blood, dickwad Jimmy: you with the 🍫, baby Janis: 😑 Janis: [but has to check] Jimmy: told you Jimmy: it weren't a pisstake Janis: you are Jimmy: 💔 Janis: could've at least wiped it off for me Janis: make it work Jimmy: I know how much you ain't about being touched Jimmy: I am making it work Janis: don't be a pussy Janis: [points at the love bite like duh] Jimmy: [shamelessly touches it while giving her a look] Janis: [when you just have to be like not phased face 'cos competitive] Jimmy: [when you have to do another even better one as a result cos #same] Janis: [giving him an ear one 'cos gotta one up the situ otherwise why are you doing this boys, we know why] Jimmy: [when you're so into it you have to be like ow to hide how into it you are] Janis: [🙄 but checks it sneaky like] Jimmy: [🙄 back cos what else can he do] Janis: you'll live Jimmy: leave it out Janis: you said it first Jimmy: you were 😢 first Janis: you're louder Janis: how much more trouble are you gonna get me in? Jimmy: how much more trouble do you wanna be in? Janis: [a LOOK] Jimmy: [gotta return it of course] Janis: [need to hear people coming for the cockblock] Jimmy: [I was just about to say that] Janis: [better get outta this randos room sharpish] Jimmy: [when you can take her hand to run off cos you can play it off like in case someone sees us if she was like excuse you] Janis: [not gonna fight it though 'cos you can just say you were on the level] Jimmy: [we all know what's up] Janis: [are they going to her room or separate?] Jimmy: [good question, do you wanna do any afternoon awkwardness before that?] Janis: [we could do another lunch moment and see if we have any ideas] Jimmy: [I'm down to give them a fake coupley af lunch] Janis: [go cause a commotion honeys] Jimmy: [everyone would be so extra about their everything, I can't] Janis: [it'd be amusing af] Jimmy: [be a cliche and carry her food for her for a start boy] Janis: [sit at a table with like some people but only have eyes for each other, duh] Jimmy: [and they should whisper a lot cos it looks saucy but really they could be saying anything and are probably shading y'all] Janis: [deffo, as well as sharing food like you probably have the same shit on your plates there's 0 need] Jimmy: [#thosecouples at least they are being OTT on purpose like] Janis: [exactly, also everyone has peeped those love bites 'cos they were such a big deal when school like people would be wearing scarves like oh no don't look aha] Jimmy: [Grace about to stab herself with a fork, oh honey just wait til you get kicked out of your room later] Janis: [you gonna be heated and your friends are just gonna be at the door like 👂] Jimmy: [literally she is gonna angry cry and we all know it bitch] Janis: [you know there would've been convos this whole time, we should probably do that] Jimmy: [we totally can] Jimmy: [also he's totally slipping in some actual flirtiness with the whispers and we know it's not just to make her 😳 bye] Janis: [just angrily whispering back like imma fuck you up boy] Jimmy: [like she's not a white ginger where its gonna be that obvious nobody's checking you can calm down Jimothy, you're already also touching her way more than you need to for your own benefit] Janis: [gotta hit him with a footsie moment 'cos there's still nothing more obvious than when you're being faux subtle] Jimmy: [love that for them] Janis: [like you can't be too cray there are teachers in here lmao] Jimmy: [thank god, any actual PDA and Grace would die] Janis: [can have a moment on the way out to your activity try and stop 'em] Jimmy: [they want it as much as their audience does so sorry Mr Lucas you're outvoted, like] Janis: [when i went to camp mary and her mans were so extra at the end they got awarded camp's romeo and juliet so like as long as it keep pg 13 you're alright tbh and he loves it] Jimmy: [god bless] Janis: [okay trust falls and blindfold assault course moment for the afternoon] Jimmy: [lowkey having fun even though you're meant to be hating it] Janis: [when she'd be freaking out to him on the low like don't fucking drop me bitch 'cos trust issues but you gotta be #goals so he won't] Jimmy: [we know he'd piss about but it's actually fine, he can and will piggyback you in the future babe, he's got this] Jimmy: [#trustissuessquad because likewise would not enjoy that bit] Janis: [poor grace bouta die on the other hand, like courteney let ellie drop and she still doesn't trust her lmao] Janis: [good for tryna get attention like friends help me i'm hurt] Jimmy: [Grace would be living for that drama and also she gonna fuck that boy later so payback for you boy getting put in some vulnerable positions lol] ] Jimmy: [also she can cry off like oh I'm so injured so she don't have to watch the JJ show for a bit] Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: 🎻💔😭 Janis: sure there's a defrosting pack of peas going if you want the job Janis: not as popular as she'd like to believe Jimmy: You're alright Jimmy: and so's she Janis: never how I'd put it, but no shit on that point regardless Jimmy: hang on, just gonna @ my dad to prove that my little brother ain't the biggest cry baby going Jimmy: She's 🥇 and you're 🥈 Janis: funny Janis: when I have him over for dinner he can see for himself Jimmy: Funnier Janis: i know Janis: not your fault you're 🥉 Jimmy: Reckons the lass who can't do owt first go Janis: the boy who still reckons he knows anything about me when we've been over this Jimmy: You nearly took my 👂 off earlier but I've still got both 👀 mate Janis: if i knew we were aiming to maim, you wouldn't have Janis: still got a 👄 you chat 💩 out of too, unfortunately Jimmy: [when you're trying not to lol] Jimmy: lovely you Janis: [😏] Janis: it's been said Jimmy: I get it, you've got form with the maiming, loads of blind and deaf lads about now Jimmy: Tah for letting me off so light 💕 Janis: well it ain't real, so only fair Jimmy: now I know you're a lass who plays fair Janis: you'd have different bruises to prove otherwise Janis: join her on sick bay 🤕🥴 Jimmy: 😍🤤😍 Jimmy: You've gotta stop flirting with me, girl Janis: you'd know that too Janis: if I were Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: [throws a 🍬 at her in full view of the bitch he stole them off] Janis: [good thing you ain't concerned about making friends/can catch, just smiling at her like cheers babe] Janis: you feeling left out? Janis: you gotta make a girl 😢 now, yeah Jimmy: Gotta give myself a break from that 👄 of yours Janis: shh Janis: don't say that out loud Jimmy: don't screenshot me and the secret's safe Jimmy: or wait until I say something about exercising your jaw for later and then hit post Janis: 😂 Janis: grim Janis: and unlikely humblebrag Jimmy: There, made a lass cry laugh, that'll do Janis: Soph can consider herself safe Janis: and welcome I took the hit Jimmy: 😇 you Jimmy: I remember Janis: someone's gotta Janis: so unappreciated Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: Gimme a sec to find signal enough to tweet it Janis: gotta clue in all your fans that couldn't be here Jimmy: [does do some suitably cringey tweet of course] Janis: 😏 how you still expect to get laid after this holy show is beyond me Jimmy: I don't #duh Jimmy: transferring to that Catholic school as soon as, obviously Janis: they're the worst for it Janis: just say sorry afterward Jimmy: Everyone knows anal don't count, Judith Jimmy: do it for Jesus Janis: 'less it's with another lad, sodomite Jimmy: That'll be why Mr Lucas is my plan B Janis: yeah well, fight yer for him Jimmy: 💪🏆 Go on Janis: [just looking at him like really tho] Jimmy: [😏] Janis: [play fight moment] Jimmy: [so flirty, get a room you two, she should win though obvs because he cheated on that race earlier] Janis: time to get some 📿 Janis: 👋😘 Jimmy: You ain't getting shot of me that easy, babe Jimmy: Letting you win 'cause of how unappreciated you feel counts about as much as this counts as talking, like Janis: yeah right, whatever makes you feel better, loser Jimmy: Take your hollow victory 😘 Janis: I can beat you at anything Janis: any time, anywhere Jimmy: when it's #fakeforfake Janis: convenient for you, that Jimmy: nowt about this is Janis: 🎻 Janis: take your 👑 crybaby Jimmy: No tah, I'd have to touch your sister to get it Janis: she is a lot like that dragon in shrek Janis: fair Jimmy: 😂 Janis: she'll find the right donkey one day, I'm sure 💕 Jimmy: could save me a bit in 🚬 if she were blowing smoke about Janis: there's one pro Janis: you never talk so she could blather on as much as she likes Jimmy: I talk, just not to you Janis: and no one else here Janis: least of all her, so still counts, don't fight it Jimmy: I'd have to save all my strength to keep her off me Janis: you really saving yourself for marriage, yeah Jimmy: 👍 Janis: that's a con, damn Janis: really thought I could get rid of her once and for all Jimmy: don't pretend she ain't the 👰💍 type Janis: obvs, but a massive slag, no child of the lord there Janis: allegedly my fathers Jimmy: My ex was a massive slag an' all Jimmy: I'll make it work Janis: great Janis: get on it then Jimmy: 💕 Janis: if you could move again and take her with, that'd be perfect Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: No need to wait that long for your real happy ending then Jimmy: were a bit rude how you've been such a tease about the 💀💀 pact but alright Janis: you'll do yourself in after a few months, max Janis: hmu then Jimmy: as a 👻 Jimmy: least I won't have to touch you and you can't me Janis: weren't planning on it wanker but exactly Janis: everyone gets to win Janis: she's the 🕷⚰ type Janis: love an excuse to cry forever Jimmy: might get her with my dad instead Jimmy: move over mate Janis: and I'm the one who can't follow instructions? 😑 Janis: stick to the plan Jimmy: plans change Jimmy: leave the crying to her Janis: just don't understand why you won't die for me tbh Jimmy: Not as 🧠 as you made out, eh Juliet? 💔 proper tragedy that Janis: it's your fault, you don't stick to your word ever Janis: nothing to do with me Jimmy: Nowt to do with you is right Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: How long is this bollocks gonna go on? I don't need to know how to build a raft Jimmy: or give a fuck if the 🦊 has 🐔 for his tea Janis: how you planning to navigate that sea of 😭 then? Janis: more practical than a maths lesson at any rate Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: you're uninvited for a 🚬 Janis: fine, drama queen Jimmy: in a bit 🤓 Janis: just 'cos you can't keep up Jimmy: just 'cause you're working on commission Jimmy: hmu when you need art for your 'more practical than a maths lesson' poster Janis: that's your thing then Janis: makes sense Janis: had to be one of the two Jimmy: 👍 Janis: at least you won't be bringing out the acoustic around the firepit tonight Janis: small blessings Jimmy: only bring the 🎻🎻 me Janis: ha Janis: cute Jimmy: tweet it if you mean it, girl 💕 Janis: k, if you like Jimmy: I'll give it a like, yeah Janis: not even a retweet, cold Janis: do you want them to buy this or nah Jimmy: can't retweet my own praises Jimmy: wouldn't be #goals Janis: oh right, we're ignoring your giant head Janis: fair 'nuff Jimmy: Nobody likes a bighead, you should know, mate Janis: dunno what you mean Janis: everyone loves me Jimmy: 👌 Janis: you ain't being on my raft team, FYI Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: I know Janis: drown on your own time, I gotta win Jimmy: I'll already be in sick bay after how #savage that jab was Janis: almost as bad at faking it as her Jimmy: you being the only one that reckons so isn't gonna make me 😭 Janis: awh, but everything else does Jimmy: #whensheknowsyouproperwell 💕 Janis: it's true love 💕 Janis: as far as any of these idiots are aware Jimmy: 😍😍😍🤞😍😍 Janis: alright, this is boring now Janis: no one needs this health and safety bullshit Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: wouldn't have 💀💀💀d you to nod when I first said it Jimmy: 'Cause yeah, that'll be why I'm staying here 🚬 tah Janis: you wanna start agreeing on everything now Janis: not pretending we're married Jimmy: Tah again, this time for admitting I'm right about everything Jimmy: I was just talking about the once but alright Janis: you never said it was boring, technically Janis: and I never said that, get lost Jimmy: I might be lost 🤞 Janis: deep Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: geographically, dickhead Janis: how 😂 Jimmy: can't be lost if I know Janis: I mean, this place is not that big Janis: and signposted to fuck, where've you even gone, like Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: v helpful my dear Janis: soz I didn't put a chip in your neck whilst you were gnawing on mine Jimmy: It's alright, I know you can't do owt right, forget two things at once Janis: fuck off Janis: stay lost Jimmy: have done and will do Janis: 👍 Jimmy: haunt you later then Janis: not that long since lunch Janis: you'll survive until one of the teachers finds you Janis: 💔 Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: I'll pray for Mr Lucas obvs Jimmy: probably get Ms O'Brien Jimmy: actually 💔 Janis: you know he's already in the water Janis: if he could get away with speedos, he would, whereas her turtleneck could not be higher Janis: unlucky Jimmy: 👙 on him and 🥔 sack on her Jimmy: 🤤🤤🤤 Jimmy: be why you ain't coming to my rescue Janis: 😏 Janis: obviously Janis: fine, hang on Jimmy: it ain't actually in the contract Jimmy: don't bother about me Janis: whatever, won't be hard Janis: then I'll just go back to my room after, peace and quiet Janis: anyway, her still in the sick bay gives me a valid excuse, concerned sister I am Jimmy: text me when you want me to show up Janis: ha, alright Jimmy: least if she's concussed we won't have to put on as convincing a show Janis: one can hope 🤞 Janis: sadly there's fuck all to damage in her head so Jimmy: Sounding like she will be my dad's perfect match 💘 Janis: does that mean you'll start showing up for dinner and xmas Janis: not part of the deal Jimmy: 🙏 they'll rent a cottage together and leave me the fuck out of it Janis: can get behind that Jimmy: #forlifenotjustforchristmas Janis: make it happen @iantaylor8 Jimmy: 'cause that's such a dream come true, I'm going to sleep Jimmy: don't miss me too much Janis: ..outside? Jimmy: If I get eaten by some animal or owt you can have my 🚬s Janis: 💘 Janis: romance aside, at least you'll be easy to find if you're 😴 Jimmy: Keep my snoring off the socials tah Jimmy: not very #goals Janis: but you look so cute baby Jimmy: #duh Jimmy: look cute all the time Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: goodnight, Jenna Jimmy: 😘 Janis: sweet dreams, dickhead Jimmy: just said they were guaranteed Jimmy: can't stop being a 😇 you Janis: not yet 😈 Jimmy: @ everyone who missed my earlier tweet Janis: yeah don't make me sound boring Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt Janis: can agree on that Jimmy: if I wanted boring I'd have asked Ms O'Brien to fake date me Janis: 😏 Janis: she could be a secret freak Jimmy: doubt she's bitten any ears off though Janis: missing out? Jimmy: the benchmark has been set Janis: oh please Janis: you loved it Janis: got the job done, didn't it Jimmy: tonight will Janis: yeah Jimmy: Owt off limits? Janis: you love 🍑 stuff, I get it Janis: but nah, I don't care Jimmy: 👴 love me Jimmy: #soznotsoz Janis: if I pretend to be Mr Lucas, it kinda defeats what we're doing here Janis: soz Jimmy: It's alright, I'm more 👵💕 live out your what would Ms O'Brien do fantasies Jimmy: you started strong, like Janis: admitting I do know what I'm doing? Janis: about time Jimmy: Baby please Jimmy: you wish I would Janis: you wish I'd do the other side 👂 Jimmy: Yeah well fed up of this earring #newschoolnewme Janis: 😂 Janis: bye 😎 boy bye Jimmy: Tah for not having braces, you'd be dangerous Janis: if that's your thing you should deffo go catholic and start your religious training asap Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: and your thing is what, going from 🐷 to 🦈 after a few drinks? Janis: pigs have eaten far more humans than sharks ever have, for one, idiot Janis: and two, you only need to fake like you know exactly what I need Jimmy: sounds like fake news that Janis: your favourite word, that Jimmy: you don't need to know my fave word Jimmy: won't be on the test Janis: just the safe word, sure Jimmy: What's it gonna be? Trust fund's two Jimmy: Pony'll work Janis: great, you're a furry Janis: give me strength Jimmy: You don't need to know my kinks either Janis: stop being so obvious then Jimmy: It's obvious you're turned on by 💰 only trying to be accommodating until you secure Mr Lucas' teacher salary 💍💕 Janis: Obviously Janis: hit up some overworked and underpaid nurses whilst I'm at it Jimmy: Get that blood, vampire girl Janis: more fun making you bleed Jimmy: 😍🤤😍 Janis: yeah yeah Jimmy: save the enthusiasm for the #fans that want it Jimmy: I know how much fun I am Janis: I tweeted about you last Janis: it's your turn to tweet about me Janis: if you can pry your hand off your dick for one sec Jimmy: you were last 'cause I always go first Jimmy: pull your weight Janis: not my fault you're premature Janis: well, obvs is but you know Jimmy: If that's the rep you want, Joanne Jimmy: [posts something extra about missing her that's like really hot and a mood] Janis: you care about my rep as much as I do Janis: though that post didn't entirely suck Jimmy: careful, that almost sounded like a real compliment Jimmy: what kind of fake girlfriend would you be Janis: never Janis: [can find him 'cos you know, has to at some point] Jimmy: I get it, you need the IRL inspo of seeing me now it's your turn again Janis: [😑 but sits down with and has to get close to match the mood of his post to take a #reunited pic] Janis: needs must Jimmy: Fake like you know what come here means and do it properly Jimmy: [When you shamelessly just wanna be more extra] Janis: [defs first lap sitting moment needed like don't test me boy] Janis: there Jimmy: [yassss having such a moment bye] Jimmy: and you reckon I need to be a better trainer Janis: stop comparing me to fucking farmyard animals and dogs Janis: [angry face right in his 'cos you ain't moved] Jimmy: Alright, Juliet next post I'll compare you to a summer's day Janis: hilarious Jimmy: necessary if you're gonna keep making that face Jimmy: can't have it sticking Janis: [makes a face like give a fuck] Jimmy: [😏 because she obvs does or why are they doing this ha] Janis: you're so smug Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt babe Janis: unduly Jimmy: How would you know? Janis: [gestures at him like it's obvious] Jimmy: [shrugs because again being a smug dickhead like you don't know me bye] Janis: [pushes on his chest to get up off him] Jimmy: [offers her a 🚬] Janis: [takes it and starts walking but looks back like] Janis: follow me to civilization Jimmy: Why? Janis: because you're lost Janis: and you could be inside right now, undisturbed, for at least another 45 minutes yet Jimmy: Do the maths on that, did you? Jimmy: not sure if I can trust a #hater Janis: oh my god Jimmy: What? Janis: would it 💀💀💀 you to just come Jimmy: Are you trying to? Janis: what are you talking about now Jimmy: Gonna lure me to my death or not? Janis: tempting as you make it Janis: we have 2 of those shit drinks left Janis: unless there's something better we can do out here Jimmy: Help me up then Janis: 👴 Janis: [but does] Jimmy: Oi, you were sitting on me so long I've got a 💀 leg Janis: if that's how shit your stamina is how we gonna fake fuck convincingly Janis: sort it out Jimmy: you ate half my lunch, sort that out Janis: you didn't need it, skiver Janis: only using your voice, I had to actually do the course Jimmy: I had to keep you alive Jimmy: not as hard as your sister makes it look but still a challenge when you Janis: piss off Janis: I could've done that shit alone Jimmy: bollocks Janis: so could Jimmy: go on then, we'll recreate it Janis: [closes her eyes and struts for a bit like see] Jimmy: fuck that we're going to the course Janis: alright Janis: come on then Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [we know the drill, when you're being slow af so he's like do it properly and then you go faster and fall, not actually doing any damage but] Jimmy: [shamelessly helping her up even though she don't need it and being actually worried until you can see she's not hurt] Janis: thanks a lot Jimmy: didn't push you over Janis: [when you start to hobble away for the drama of it all] Jimmy: stop, dickhead Janis: [looking like, what?] Jimmy: [goes and helps her obvs] Janis: I could've done it Janis: you were rushing me Jimmy: Yeah, I were Jimmy: on the ⏲ Jimmy: you said 45 mins uninterrupted Janis: you challenged me Janis: we could've just gone inside Jimmy: you challenged you Jimmy: admit you need me Janis: excuse me Jimmy: you heard Janis: I heard some dumb shit Jimmy: [walks away but not far just to make the point cos she was leaning on him then] Janis: [😑] Janis: stop being a twat Jimmy: you Janis: you Janis: immature Jimmy: I'm a lad, we do it slower Janis: no excuse for acting like a kid is it Janis: [is less 😑 though] Jimmy: What's yours, I'll borrow that Janis: I'm injured, bastard Jimmy: You've been a knobhead since before I got here Janis: and how the fuck would you know thay Jimmy: I've heard some dumb shit an' all Jimmy: I told you, I ain't that new Janis: Exactly Janis: how would you know Janis: [walks off faster now, with as little hobbling as poss.] Jimmy: [stops her so he can try and help her again because not that rude] Janis: I don't need your help Jimmy: I don't need to offer but I am Janis: I'm meant to be grateful, yeah? Janis: do one Jimmy: [shakes his head because no and no and is helping her whether she likes it or not] Janis: fine, white knight 'til we're back but then leave me alone Jimmy: [picks her up cos that's permission right there, if you say so boy #problematic and sure if anyone sees them it'll look #goals] Janis: [when you ain't speaking so you don't say no] Jimmy: [casual walk back in silence, obvs he gently puts her on her bed and leaves] Jimmy: [definitely takes a bottle out of the two that are left cos his share even though it's not gonna do fuck all] Janis: [when you're definitely like cheek but not gonna break your vow of silence to argue about that like] Jimmy: [okay so my idea is, he shows up later, knocking on the door which Grace answers so he knows she's there cos this is only gonna work if she was and sweeps in full of apologies like I'm so sorry you got hurt cos of me babe etc (which would kill Grace cos that boy ain't sorry and that's the tea) but critically there is some real sorry if there hidden for him being an actual dickhead, like. Even though we can pretend it's for Grace's benefit everything he's saying and why she has to accept and get back on this fake train] Janis: [good thinking my nugget] Jimmy: [he ain't that good of an actor and anyway he'd make sure she can see he's actually sorry too] Janis: [lbr she's too closed off to want to talk about it so she's gonna take it for what it is, even if this puts them back 10 paces, that's the vibe always] Jimmy: [gotta throw yourself fully into this pantomime so it don't get too real kids, really milking that injury and his nurse role] Janis: [truly, give them an oscar] Jimmy: [nobody give Grace one, cos we all see you] Janis: [when her friends are probably low-key over nursing her now like quit before they bitching to mia about you gurl] Jimmy: [literally that though, she'd have to have given it up which makes it ruder that Jimothy then shows up to do it for Janis] Janis: [oh this poor boy she's gonna be feeling murderous at now] Jimmy: [plus you know Jimmy would be being so hot about everything like 'oh does this hurt, what about this' as a shameless reason to touch up her entire leg] Janis: [just umming and ahhing like you're not sure so he has to keep doing it lmao okay] Jimmy: [Grace's friends just 👀🍿 while they're doing their make up or whatever] Janis: [welcome for tonight's entertainment ladies, be sure to tell the whole world, being that bitch by asking him to get you something like water and then being like 'don't go' 'cos they'd love that] Jimmy: [he should totally get his hoodie for her too which she still has #duh and put it on for her like she's an actual invalid] Janis: [get on the invaleed couch honey] Jimmy: [please say she's wearing the pjs rn for that throwback and mood] Janis: [of course, 'cos bitch actually does the activities so her clothes would be muddy, as if you weren't jello enough ladies like put that perf body away] Jimmy: [this is why as much as Grace wants to share a room she also doesn't because be more beautiful Janis goddamn] Janis: [cuts her hair off in her sleep or smothers her with a pillow] Jimmy: [also he should be ignoring his phone going off (we know its because fuck you Ian) because what would be more goals to Grace and her friends than full attention] Janis: [100%, though she should pick it up (when it ain't ringing like lol) and just go on it 'cos trust with the passcode too omg] Jimmy: [and bonus points that it adds to his new boy mystery like why is he so in demand] Janis: [god bless, when you'd be trying so hard not to lol at them at so many points] Jimmy: [literally do give them an oscar cos I could not] Janis: [kick it up a notch by being like 'you know what would make me feel better' 'cos it's a power move when the girl says it, nick from the act] Jimmy: [yaaaaaaaaas] Janis: [like we said though, actually have to make out 'cos no faking that part] Jimmy: [good thing they've got real chemistry] Jimmy: [just a really epic make out sesh for everyone to enjoy and Grace is like NOPE g2g] Janis: [facetimeing mia rn 'cos they think you too busy to notice and lbr, a bitch would screen record she creepy lmao] Jimmy: [Grace just stomping around fuming getting ready really quick by her standards meanwhile this is the hardest JJ have had to go, don't think about it] Janis: [oh babe you know they ain't gonna stop, meanwhile janis just freaking 'cos she ain't ever been arsed before and it feels good so whoops] Jimmy: [literally no acting going on from him here he's just fully into it cos no need to hold back unlike with the lovebite situ when you can pretend its all for that lot, any sounds you make or things you do] Jimmy: [taking that hoodie off her again like] Janis: [when an audience means you can do more, what is this time period, god bless] Jimmy: [it's my fave for a reason cos who else would even do this never mind take it this far] Janis: [just going for the other ear like she said she would] Jimmy: [at least he doesn't have to act like he's not into it/she's bad at it this time cos barely got away with that the first time] Janis: [there's no hiding it rn, deny it later lads] Jimmy: [that said he'd still have to whisper some kind of pisstake in her ear about it just so she can't be too smug later] Janis: [naturally, can't be too real with it] Jimmy: [loses some of the sass when you're breathless as hell trying to say it though so] Janis: [so you just 😏 now like heh] Jimmy: [just gotta pull her hair so you can pull her into you and a kiss to wipe that smugness off her face like nbd so casual rn] Janis: [when that kiss would be so aggressive bye] Jimmy: [it makes me die because Grace would NEVER let anyone touch her hair, not even the fam and especially not a boy it's like her number 1 THING so she can see that and it can be her cue to slam that door and go honey] Janis: [you should probably leave shameless friends like there's no reason for you to be in here now lmao] Jimmy: [them just hurrying off after her so gutted they gotta leave meanwhile JJ are gonna be gutted that they have to stop] Janis: [soz lads, purely for your audience, remember, at least he can't leave 'cos that'd look so rude like bye we done] Jimmy: [and you know her friends would be loitering lowkey cos Grace is in no mood to be followed and would sister snap so there's the excuse they don't need] Janis: [exactly, you gotta stick it out 'til a teacher finds you and kicks you out tbh] Jimmy: [Jimmy just aggressively drinking that water he got for her #thirstybitch so he don't have to look at her or say anything] Jimmy: [lowkey shady sir like lemme get the taste of you out of my mouth] Janis: [when you get up to look in the mirror like you're remotely arsed what you look like but really you're just assessing love bite damage] Jimmy: [pissing about with the bed once she's off it unscrewing something or whatever so they can pretend they broke it] Janis: [does the 'not bad' face] Jimmy: [shrugs and goes on his phone to check in with both Bobby and Cass] Janis: [wrapping her ankle with some tape she'd probably have brought 'cos sporty bitch not 'cos it's needed but for the look of] Jimmy: [does the face back at her cos good idea and gestures for her to go to the door and listen if Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum are being that extra or if they've gone] Janis: [hops over, again not 'cos she needs too but #bants and has a serious listening face on] Jimmy: [tries not to lol for what must be the millionth time honestly] Janis: [gestures for him to come over and nods like they're there but I have a plan] Jimmy: [comes over of course] Janis: [pushes him into the door and starts faking noises like you do the same keep up 'cos that'll shake them to their core but also show 'em that they're still going at it, like] Jimmy: [does as he's told this once] Janis: [least they wouldn't have to do that long 'cos they'd bolt because could not not lol out loud at that] Jimmy: [goes through Grace's drawers, finds her condom stash, opens one and ditches it but leaves the wrapper when it can obvs be seen at the top of the bin] Janis: [when you make a face that's like ew but fair] Jimmy: [🙄 but playfully cos not like you're living for this bit either] Janis: ['could've just pulled out, amateur' but whispering 'cos don't wanna be too loud unless for the right reasons yet] Jimmy: that the fave 🍀 method then? Janis: pretty much Jimmy: bit soon for a fake pregnancy scare Jimmy: and I obvs couldn't 'cause I want you so much 💕 Janis: obvs Janis: c'est la vie, just wanted the trip to Liverpool, like Jimmy: how many of these shall I do? Jimmy: [gestures to the wrapper like] Jimmy: don't wanna have to throw your sister on a ferry or under a bus Janis: [goes over to look how many there are and chucks out two more, opening one] Janis: she'd be buzzin' Janis: know she's the type Jimmy: My ex has got one she's bound to be regretting by now if she's that desperate, like Janis: [looks at the condom then him then down like awks] Jimmy: Piss off, it ain't mine Janis: [when you literally breathe out like phew] Janis: Jesus, lead with that Jimmy: [throws whatever stuffed toy Grace still sleeps with at her] Janis: [clutches the bear to her chest like 😲 faux outrage] Janis: how dare you treat Tuffie like that Jimmy: 💔🎻💔 Jimmy: be our secret, yeah? Janis: good thing you ain't a dad Janis: [throws the thing at him] Jimmy: raising two kids, only not with her Jimmy: [throws it back] Janis: [just playing catch at this point, obvs doesn't think he's got two kids like that so is like okay] Janis: explains why you're so knackered Janis: that and all the wild fake sex Jimmy: that'll do it Jimmy: [sits on Grace's bed and starts doodling on the back of his hand with her eyebrow pencil or whatever] Janis: those things are like 20 quid a pop Janis: [is clearly amused by this not mad, goes over to the window to open it and get some air] Jimmy: better start paying me then Jimmy: [does the good idea face again though cos letting that non existent sex smell out] Janis: you weren't fake that good and I'm not fake that desperate Jimmy: [😏 cos yeah he was] Janis: [kicks her bed so he wobbles] Jimmy: [is like OI cos of course his doodle smudges cos he's left handed anyway] Janis: [shrugs like you know what you did but goes over to the mirror where the makeup has been left, finds him the wipes and gets a lipstick and puts it on] Jimmy: [shrugs back cos not actually bothered also actually ambidextrous anyway so you choose to use that hand boy and we all see you shamelessly looking at her as well] Janis: ['hold still' and then covering his face/neck area with lipstick kisses quickly then smudging them with her fingers so they're faded] Janis: evidence Jimmy: you weren't wearing it before Jimmy: don't say much for me if you stopped mid go to put it on Janis: weren't my face they were looking at, new boy Janis: 😍 Janis: trust Jimmy: when it was attached to mine they were Janis: it's only a nude, not fuck off red Janis: wipe it off if you reckon though Jimmy: not my area of expertise tbh mate Janis: 🙄 Janis: then hush Jimmy: til you want me to get loud again sure Janis: they shouldn't come back now Janis: hopefully they have some life, like Janis: unlikely though it seems Jimmy: What about Grace? Meant to sleep here Janis: I'm hoping she's Ophelia'd herself in the lake Janis: probably go in with them now, idk Jimmy: If she's beat us to the 💀 pact, I'm 💔 Janis: gotta get the attention back somehow Jimmy: 🤞 Jimmy: [leans out of the open window to 🚬 cos can't leave yet] Janis: purely post-coital, obviously Jimmy: you should have one an' all then Janis: [puts fingers up like 'three' but smiles like jk] Janis: go on then Jimmy: [obviously lights her up cos a princess can never fuck opening your own doors @ nick in the act this is the real #goals] Janis: [cheers motion, also it's clearly a small window/small room in general so they'd have to be close rn] Jimmy: [my thoughts exactly, so much of your bodies touching casually] Janis: [when you'd be so aware of it after dry humping each other for however long there] Jimmy: [literally though and she did not have many clothes on at all so] Janis: [still don't rn like hi] Jimmy: [when you remember because you're brushing up against so much of her bare skin so you fetch the hoodie again like a dutiful bf even though nobody's watching] Jimmy: [making her hold your 🚬 while you get it] Janis: [puts it on 'cos lbr you both need another layer between you rn] Jimmy: [lifts her hair out of it for her unthinkingly, how intimate excuse you boy] Janis: [just freezes casually like] Jimmy: [when you just take a step back like] Janis: [just goes and sits on Grace's bed to finish it 'cos whaddya care tbh so unphased by all of this] Jimmy: [he'll be here unmoving like musical statues nbd] Janis: [on her phone seeing if any of the goss has ended up there yet 'cos invariably will, sends him a gossipy ass post with '😂 #missionaccomplished?' Jimmy: 👍 Janis: guess you can go now then Janis: do you reckon Jimmy: [his phone is going off again too but it's just the fam so ignoring for rn] Jimmy: Alright Janis: unless you wanna try to sleep Janis: clearly the teachers are too pissed to be clued in right now Jimmy: [fixes her bed and lies on it] Jimmy: remind me to break it again Janis: will do Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: [closes his eyes but nobody falls asleep that fast and we all know it] Janis: [quietly like 'night' and turning the big light off and putting on a lamp by the bottom bunk as if this is such a casual situation] Janis: don't freak if I have to hop up there if Grace comes back, yeah Jimmy: [when the pillow obvs smells like her cos its hers and you're just lying there like mistakes have been made before the thought of having to lie with her has even crossed your mind] Jimmy: even if I do, I'll fake I ain't Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: that's the spirit Jimmy: 👻 me Janis: [little lol] Janis: lucky for you casper, I don't sleep, so she won't reckon you've kicked me out my own bed or nothing Jimmy: I know you're a vampire already, don't need to convince me, girl Janis: no neck biting Janis: scout's honour Jimmy: Saving it for the bus back, I get it, why wouldn't you? Janis: my parting gift to you, babe Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: well romantic that is Janis: ain't it just Janis: beats whatever the shit giftshop has got on offer Jimmy: So cute you Janis: bullshit am I Jimmy: I'll steal you a pen or fridge magnet, make you believe me Janis: 🧸 obviously needs a friend Janis: cute enough for ya Jimmy: Depends Janis: on? Jimmy: 🐷 🦈 or 🐴? Janis: 😑 Janis: really Jimmy: alright 🧸 if you wanna twin with Grace that bad Janis: fuck off or I'm breaking the bed whilst you're still in it Jimmy: just don't kick it Jimmy: might get more than fake injured Janis: thanks for the fake concern Jimmy: hot as that bandage is, like Janis: vampire, not a mummy, got it Janis: fucking halloween up in here Jimmy: what you wanna be the easter bunny or? Janis: that's the cliche hot option, ain't it Jimmy: give us some 🍫 then Jimmy: she must have it hidden somewhere Janis: you just lay there whilst I look, your highness Janis: [but is] Jimmy: could've asked you to make me a sandwich Janis: you want me to smack you that badly, just ask Janis: [finds some 'cos obvs knows her and throws it up] Jimmy: 🤤😍 etc Janis: I felt that, so convincing Jimmy: I know you can feel every bruise, babe Jimmy: that job's done with Janis: thank god Janis: 😷 Jimmy: 💔 etc Janis: go to sleep, dickhead Jimmy: [as if on cue Bobby's blowing his phone up cos can't] Janis: can get that, like Janis: got 🎧 and not bothered what you're chatting about Janis: sounds important Jimmy: I'm tired Jimmy: [but obvs does because has to] Janis: 👍 Jimmy: [casually the longest convo ever, poor bab] Janis: [doesn't listen 'cos ain't that bitch but does take 'em off for a sec to see if he's done but is like oh when he ain't] Jimmy: [why you gotta be so shit Ian it was your idea he went] Janis: [when you can't get your own kid to sleep like] Jimmy: [when you don't try cos you're the shut the door on him type aka my mum lol] Janis: [goes out for a wee, get a drink etc so he doesn't feel rushed or like she would be listening] Jimmy: [when you're done but then can't sleep cos mad at your dad so 🚬 at the window again] Janis: [has brought him a drink too so when she sees he's up puts it on the window sill for him but doesn't speak 'cos can read the room well enough] Jimmy: [staring out the window furiously excuse him] Janis: [a look she knows personally so not going to be up in his face, just gets back on Grace's bed] Jimmy: let's go Janis: okay Janis: anywhere, yeah? Jimmy: [downs the drink she brought him to show it's appreciated thank you bae] Jimmy: Teacher's block first, that's the real holy show Janis: [raises her eyebrows like what you got planned but nods 'cos regardless, swapping her shorts for joggers before they go like] Jimmy: were gonna say put some clothes on Jimmy: don't tell anyone though Janis: [mimes zipping her lips] Jimmy: so many secrets, I know Jimmy: [touches the OG lovebite] Janis: [opens the door with a flourish like lead the way 'cos can't dwell on that/make it a moment] Jimmy: [walks through but then remembers what she said about halloween and runs back to take all the toilet paper he can find like a little nerd] Janis: [😏 wid it, helps] Jimmy: 🎃🧛👻 Janis: [a bit of lowkey mindless vandalism will help take your mind off it] Janis: 💀💀💀 Jimmy: 🤞 🐰 girl Jimmy: [that and spying on the teachers in general would be fun for that hot goss] Janis: I won't hop, if it's all the same to you Janis: [deffo, we know they're schwasted] Jimmy: what kind of fake injury Jimmy: you gotta commit, Jules Janis: the idea is, no one sees us Janis: if we get caught I'll fall dramatically into your arms, yeah Jimmy: No need Jimmy: [picks her up like he did earlier but with a very different vibe we know] Janis: ['this is committing, yeah'] Jimmy: [a look] Janis: [looking back like half challenge half like what's up before tapping his back like let's go] Jimmy: [boy we get that you wanna be distracted by her specifically in a specific way but please calm down] Janis: [can't let you do that yet lads] Jimmy: [on you go to annoy the teachers and spy] Janis: [at least that'd be amusing af] Jimmy: [before they go back they should see Grace leaving that lad's room but obvs she don't see them] Janis: [😒] Jimmy: [gives her a ? look cos maybe he was focused on teacher drama still] Janis: [shakes her head and starts walking not in the direction of the rooms] Janis: got any 🚬 left Jimmy: [obvs does and obvs lights one for her and then himself] Janis: [heading outside and to a bench to smoke in silence] Jimmy: [sits near but not close] Janis: ['just gutted we didn't learn O'Brien's a dark horse, like'] Jimmy: ['she ain't no lightweight, next time'll be the one, heard it's France'] Janis: ['next time then'] Jimmy: ['it's a date'] Janis: ['ain't gonna be dead by then?'] Jimmy: ['Depends'] Janis: [nods like I feel you] Jimmy: ['Taking that as your personal guarantee the poison you got is stronger than the shit they're drinking, don't let me down, rich girl'] Janis: ['it's lethal, trust me' and a look] Jimmy: [nods like good] Janis: ['you should go in, get some sleep at last'] Jimmy: [nods again but doesn't move] Janis: ['want me to return the favour and carry you?'] Jimmy: [😏 'on that proper dodgy ankle, no way baby' and playfully nudges it with his own foot 'sleep on the bus with you as my pillow, tah'] Janis: [shakes her head but is 😏 back 'well soz my tits aren't bigger then'] Jimmy: ['me an' all, would make this shit easier to fake'] Janis: ['you're such a cunt'] Jimmy: [gives her a well I'm soz about that then sarcastic look] Janis: [kicks him but not hard as she gets up 'later then'] Jimmy: [is all oi as per but not really ever mad] Janis: [shrugs like what you gonna do about it and goes off in the direction of a trail to do a casual run at whatever late o'clock this is] Jimmy: proper miss you already 💕 Janis: beam it into the night sky, batman Janis: I already know Jimmy: hang on, trying to do a 😳🐷 Jimmy: you see it yet? Janis: you're meant to be an artist Janis: sort it out Jimmy: never said I were Janis: you did Jimmy: that were you Jimmy: I reckoned I could sort you a poster Jimmy: so could my little brother Janis: good enough Janis: get to work Jimmy: very inspiring you Janis: soz I don't look more like a pig Janis: you who keeps on saying it Jimmy: it's you who keeps going pink Jimmy: soz I didn't have a hoodie in that colour Janis: erm not even once Jimmy: 👌 Janis: 😑 Jimmy: You coming to bed or what? Janis: I can't be in the same room as her right now Jimmy: be in mine then Janis: alright Janis: cheers Jimmy: Alright, come on Janis: just gotta circle back Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: such an athlete, I know Janis: I never said that either Janis: but yeah, I won't deny it Jimmy: Don't have to, still got my 👀 Jimmy: not fully closed or owt yet Janis: Impressive Jimmy: can't deny it Janis: 🙄 Janis: [showing up 'cos wouldn't have got too far] Jimmy: [just quietly like 'hey'] Janis: [lil awkward laugh like 'alright'] Jimmy: [and it's back to walking in silence] Janis: [when you don't know if he's giving you his bed or you're about to get in together so you're mentally preparing yourself for either] Jimmy: [when you know you're gonna share (can blame Ollie's presence but we know the truth and that he's sleeping) so preparing yourself for that since you didn't think it through before you said it] Janis: [styling it out like you're way more confident than you are 'cos can be part of the act, hence she'd take her joggers and the hoodie off casually 'cos wouldn't sleep that clothed but waits for him to get in first like your bed] Jimmy: [we all see you taking your top off boy even though there's no need] Janis: [👀 when you looking but try to be subtle please] Jimmy: [she's earned that right tbh he's seen and touched so much of her by now] Janis: [fair] Jimmy: [in you get kids for your single bed forced closeness] Janis: [get used to it tbh, at least he's clearly tired af so can at least pretend he's sleeping even if he ain't] Jimmy: [they are both too tall for this to be comfy you'd literally have to be all over each other] Janis: [again, no denying you're into it, just have to stay quiet if you wanna pretend lads] Jimmy: [the realest] Jimmy: [and don't move too much, don't need to get betrayed by your boy parts there Jimothy] Janis: [as amusing as that would be for us, don't need you to die of shame] Jimmy: [🐘 in the room now and definitely earlier because there is no way you could do all that shit and not] Janis: [she'd be like, don't take it personally, that shit just happens but it doesn't just happen if you're not into it at all, like] Jimmy: [mhmm as much as his internal monologue be like well I can't help that we all know if it was Grace or whoever you wouldn't be feeling it so bye] Janis: [#tea] Jimmy: [if it was Mia it'd go back inside his body] Janis: [lmao you wouldn't know she was in the bed with you tbh] Jimmy: [don't ever wanna think about her hooking up with anyone my god] Janis: [amazing it happens so much] Jimmy: [just gonna think about JJ having a spoon instead thank you] Janis: [indeed, much nicer] Jimmy: [at least he is tired enough to fall asleep eventually because that'd feel like the longest night ever if not] Janis: [let her have some too or rude for likewise] Jimmy: [pray you don't dream about earlier either of you] Janis: [hope neither of you sleep talk] Jimmy: [can't be that cruel omg] Janis: [awks when ollie wakes up like hi] Jimmy: [you gotta run girl, really hit him in those abandonment issues when wakes up] Janis: [see you on the bus] Jimmy: [#awks] Janis: [gotta sit next to each other though, at least faking it for the fans will break the ice] Jimmy: [least there's only so much coupleyness you can do there if you're not making out, no need to go as hard] Janis: [mainly the aforementioned snuggling] Jimmy: [first time he ever plays with her hair in a soft way which will forever be his future fave] Janis: [just imagined grace from her seat like 😒] Jimmy: [honestly, probably crying on the low because contrary to popular belief she is capable of subtlety when needed to protect herself like that] Janis: [but we must know, did he go to the giftshop] Jimmy: [he had to steal her a teddy of some sort or I swear to god] Janis: [she can take a selfie with that then] Jimmy: [probably the kind of crap sort that have a t-shirt on of the place but he didn't spend money on it so] Janis: [it's the #brag that counts, they'd be jel] Jimmy: [exactly and it's points for him with her cos he stole it like he said he would and didn't get caught or anything cringe] Janis: [exactly dr phil dem sneaky feels] Jimmy: [and the reminder of this trip when she thinks its all she's gonna get] Janis: [lmao what a headfuck like you're just gonna pretend you don't know each other now okay lads] Jimmy: [in what world also everyone would be like UM what] Jimmy: [I love how they haven't discussed it once] Janis: [ridiculous] Jimmy: [it's the best thing likewise how nobody's gonna think she's gay after those bedroom antics so there's no reason for her to agree to anymore but she do] Janis: [be more blatant with your flimsy reasoning guys] Jimmy: [you silly eggs] Janis: thank fuck it's the holidays Jimmy: 🙌 Janis: 💃 Jimmy: 🍾 Janis: 👙🕶 Jimmy: 😎 forever obvs but 🎊 that you can't take the piss about it Janis: every ☁ Jimmy: ⛅ Janis: just remember to sign off with a post about how you'll miss me though Jimmy: it's drafted Janis: 🤓 Jimmy: 🥇 Jimmy: I get it, your 👅 is tied around me, babe Jimmy: lemme write it for you Janis: trust falls were yesterday Janis: what are you actually gonna write Jimmy: refresh my feed in a bit Jimmy: it'll be there Janis: shifty Jimmy: I ain't forgot how easily you scare Jimmy: it'll be alright Janis: piss off Jimmy: yeah, in a bit Jimmy: hang on in there Janis: do my best Janis: feel 💀 approaching though Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: bit rude Jimmy: bit rude to outlive me when we made a pact Janis: I'm more of a shootout with the law kinda girl Janis: what can I say Jimmy: nowt 'cause you should've said before Janis: don't remember signing nothing Janis: in blood or otherwise Jimmy: 💀💌 got a massive J scrawled on it, my dear Janis: [😏] Janis: fine Janis: see you at the funeral, beloved Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: Your sister keeps staring at me Jimmy: hang on Jimmy: [such a GOOD long kiss that's no less intense than any of their others but softer and therefore easier for him to say is 1000% fake cos she don't know what a #softboy he is yet] Janis: [you know the bus would wheyyy 'cos nowhere to hide so even if you're caught off guard you've gotta play into it yeah] Janis: surprised she can see fuck all Janis: 😭 Jimmy: thought you were gonna say you blinded her Jimmy: save all your maiming for me, eh 💕 Janis: 'course Janis: doesn't get that biblical Janis: my brother's deaf but that's fuck all to do with me alright Jimmy: sounds fake but alright Jimmy: [😏] Janis: ['wipes it off his face with her hands then cups his chin you know what I mean ott cutesy] Janis: rude Jimmy: [giving her those OTT 😍 so fake mhmm] Jimmy: Teach me some sign language then Janis: [says something along the lines of 'I'm gonna maim you' I hope Grace isn't looking that hard, just like excuse me, teaching him swear obvs 'cos first thing anyone does lol] Jimmy: [just having a lovely time learning and loling its fine Grace will be blinded by her tears after that cute kiss] Janis: [when you forget you're putting on a show but this is a mood anyway so it's fine] Jimmy: [literally though, love that for them] Janis: [even the teachers can't be mad 'cos you know they'd be like ooh they know sign language teach everyone 'cos it looks good on them] Jimmy: [Grace is the only one fuming honey, texting Mia like] Janis: [that snek, just gonna keep that 'i fucked your brother' 'til it really hurts] Jimmy: [she's the literal worst and Pablo is too hot for you, girl] Janis: [what a time] Jimmy: [is there anything else we want to happen, besides a dramatic hug goodbye at the end obvs] Janis: [and taking off his hoodie to give back] Jimmy: [but he's like no, boy don't be giving your clothes away she's richer than you] Janis: cute bit Janis: I'll drop it off somewhere covert, like Jimmy: You'll have stretched it Janis: please Janis: you stupid Jimmy: Take the closest thing to a tit compliment you're getting off me and leave it out Janis: 🙄 Janis: you're alright, thanks Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: make sure you tweet that out 💕 so sweet to me, you Janis: you said you drafted it Janis: ugh Jimmy: My bit, yeah Jimmy: [but also sends out that pic she took of herself in the hoodie way back when remember with a post about how he's letting her keep it cos it looks better on her etc] Jimmy: that ain't it though Janis: guess I'll have to put my thinking cap on Jimmy: if you can find one to fit your big head once all the comments, likes and DMs flood in] Janis: nope, I'll take this fame and run with it Janis: all I ever wanted, obvs Jimmy: #duh Jimmy: 🥇🏆💪 you Jimmy: 🤩 me Janis: you'll always be my no.1 fan, babe Janis: 😘 Jimmy: Babe OMG 😭💕😘 Janis: I know, so sweet Janis: 😇 you might say Jimmy: You would Jimmy: I'd go 😈 Jimmy: [a LOOK] Janis: You really want one last 😳 for the road, yeah? Jimmy: You'll always be my 😳🐷, girl Janis: Wow 😭💕😘 Jimmy: I know, Shakespeare's #quaking Janis: yeah, well known pussy destroyer, old bill Jimmy: [laughs] Janis: [😏] Jimmy: [showing her how extra everyone is being on that post obvs] Janis: [between an eyeroll and vaguely smug 'cos it's worked but people are cray] Jimmy: [gives her his phone so she can do replies if she wants, enjoy seeing that trust again peeps] Janis: [when you get to be a funny bitch, hands him hers like there's Mia say hi] Jimmy: [obvs does and it would obvs also be hilarious, he'd probably literally facetime her rn like oh hey cos doesn't give a fuck] Janis: [don't get feeling special, babe] Jimmy: [when he's a better mean girl than Mia bye] Janis: [cackling] Jimmy: [If you weren't into him before Janis, you will be now] Janis: she's such a cunt Janis: wish I coulda seen her tryna haul ass up a rock wall though Jimmy: we can 💀💀 her when we get back Jimmy: I'll put my thinking cap on Janis: could blow on her and she'd go tbh Janis: that was ON, btw, don't get ideas Jimmy: I did read it as let her blow me Jimmy: not that ride or die for you, mate Janis: her teeth are probs false so it'd be a good time Janis: 👵 Jimmy: Alright, I'm in Jimmy: [sends a pic of Norman Bates' dead mum in the OG psycho you know the one] Jimmy: Just my type that Janis: why stop at a beej Janis: dress her up and take her for a spin 'round your room, like Jimmy: It's a date Janis: that's why you 😎 huh Janis: psycho eyes Janis: no faking emotion Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: don't forget my crows feet Jimmy: It's alright though I reckon I look decent for 45 Janis: too cocky for a predator, honestly Janis: 🙄 Janis: got the receipts and everything, boy Janis: man, whatever Jimmy: If you hear sirens, they're for me Jimmy: Calm Mr Lucas down however you like Janis: awh, you wanted to start a ⚪ Janis: that's cute Jimmy: still time or? Janis: he's only got 👀 for me and it's very fucking rude to suggest otherwise Jimmy: Is that what he told you? #awks Janis: shut up Janis: shit stirrer Jimmy: I'm not talking Janis: tryna break me and my mans up Janis: got a taste for it, like Janis: fuck 👻 boy, you're a monster Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: holiday flings been fun and all but he's dependable Janis: penciled in every Wednesday, last period, like Janis: 😍😍😍 #getyouamans Jimmy: the point were I don't want one Jimmy: 🙏 only Janis: the ultimate Man Janis: I get it Janis: 😇 repent, bitch Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: soon be time to be a 😈 and 💔 me Janis: that's the storyline, yeah? Jimmy: Got a better one? Janis: Nah, just wondering Janis: cool, I'll find a willing participant then Jimmy: 👌 Janis: [scrolling through the post 'cos lads be horny on main] Jimmy: [when you're so 😒 but you can't let it show] Janis: [dw this plan lasts like 10 secs you thirsty hoes] Jimmy: [don't even go into how triggered he'd be cos how much his ex cheated bye] Janis: [exactly dr phil it doesn't happen for all the reasons and we know it] Jimmy: [boy just shut down over here nbd nothing to see people] Janis: [when you notice but you're not gonna bring that up but you put the phone down like k and go back to chillin'] Jimmy: [meanwhile he's just texting Cass on the way back from her trip, distracting himself with big brother duties, like] Janis: [when usually you get picked up from school after a trip but you know ian ain't coming honey] Jimmy: [literally, he will have to go himself so fingers crossed they get back earlier than her trip does] Janis: [least they at the same school and live near it but still, also janis and grace in charming moods so welcome home! lmao] Jimmy: [Caleb chatting away in the car in portugese god bless] Janis: [when ain't no one talking to you, janis probably didn't wanna get in like oh lads] Jimmy: [break my heart all of y'all, Grace only speaks to be like drop me at Mia's] Janis: [aren't you so glad you had 10 kids looool] Jimmy: [truly]

[acsversace-news]

American Crime Story: The Assassination of Gianni Versace is over, and that’s fine. This season was so ambitious, but it had to work with the rough outlines of a true story, and I wonder if that held it back, or at least held back its final episode. The tragic end of Andrew Cunanan’s (Darren Criss) real life may have been violent and graphic, but it wasn’t that dynamic. I know I sound sick, but the manhunt didn’t have any high-speed chases or even that many close calls. For the most part, Cunanan just hung out in an apartment watching his own face on TV and panicking.

While the finale never got all the way to a boil, I did thoroughly relish the supporting characters getting their individual curtain calls. I’m glad Marilyn Miglin (Judith Light) is back because she is a scene-stealing queen. No one dramatically loses their train of thought quite like her. She stirred up more emotion in a single monologue than some of the entire episodes this season. I also thought it was kind of beautiful that the show’s two mothers, Mary Ann Cunanan (Joanna Adler) and Miglin had similar reactions when the FBI came knocking at their door: They immediately asked if their kids are okay.

Lizzie also invoked her kids (and Cunanan’s godchildren) when she spoke to camera asking Cunanan to show the world he still had good in him. She was so sympathetic and angelic, and probably is the person who saw Cunanan at his best moments most often. On the flip side, Ronnie (Max Greenfield) was quick to tell Detective Lori Wieder (Dascha Polanco) that Cunanan was not his friend, but then he kind of sort of had Cunanan’s back later in the interrogation room. I think their non-friendship friendship was one of the more fascinating dynamics of this season. Their accidental comradery may have relied on them not asking too much of each other and a shared interest in drugs, but I think Ronnie respected Cunanan’s chutzpah, or at the very least felt his same anger and struggle to be acknowledged. He has one of the most succinct and sassy lines of the episode when he says, “You couldn’t find a gay, so now you’re gonna blame a gay?”

Which reminds me, could Dascha Polanco’s role have been any smaller? It might have been my mistake to assume her and Ricky Martin’s role as Antonio D'Amico would be bigger based on their celebrity, but I wish we had seen more of both of them. The little we did see of D’Amico felt meaningful, but I don’t think you can say the same for Wieder. It was such a special indignity he was made to suffer. I can’t imagine what it would feel like to be the invisible partner, and especially to have a priest swerve on you like that. My only grievance with the funeral scenes is the use of real footage of Princess Diana and Elton John. It gave me the heebie jeebies and felt oddly disrespectful to me, even though I’m sure that wasn’t the intention.

Maybe I was ready for the season to be over, but I found watching Cunanan going crazy in that apartment to be a tiny bit boring. Was throwing up on his own face a bit much to anyone else? I almost feel like they went for that simply because him hiding out without a plan is such bland TV without it. They even resorted to having Cunanan shoot a TV. Sorry to be the nerd with a hard time suspending my disbelief, but gunshots are also loud, and firing guns willy nilly while you’re in hiding is a bad call! Oh and shaving his head and baring his soul was a little extra but I will cop to liking seeing Darren Criss with a new lewk.

The modest surprises for me were that Cunanan called his dad, and Modesto actually managed to come across as a little bit sweet. There’s a darkness there of course, because it almost sounded like his dad proud of him for the awful things he’d done. I thought Cunanan’s dad’s final moments of opportunism might be enough to make him lash out at the police in anger and potentially die by suicide in the process, but he seemed to finally be resigned to his fate.

Maybe I felt deflated after watching this episode simply because this is essentially a show about a man who killed five people and all the watching in the world doesn’t change that, but I actually think it’s something else. I think the show wanted me to feel nourished by the final scene between Gianni Versace (Edgar Ramirez) and Cunanan, and I just didn’t. We see a rejection that is small to Versace and everything to Cunanan, but I don’t know that he visibly looks like he snapped, or that the things they said to each other were any different than I had already filled in with guessing throughout the season. In other words, it didn’t feel like a big reveal, but it had the grand placement in the episode’s pacing as well as with its showy setting that made me feel like it was supposed to mean more, and it just didn’t.

[aion-rsa]

Star Trek: Discovery Season 3 Episode 9 Review: Terra Firma, Part 1

https://ift.tt/2K92nBx

This Star Trek: Discovery review contains spoilers for Season 3, Episode 8.

Star Trek: Discovery Season 3, Episode 9

The Mirror Universe works best when we know the characters and world it warps well. The fascinations of visiting the Mirror Universe often come in observing the characters (and actors) we know and love exhibit wildly different behavior (and looks)—for example, the franchise’s original visit to the Mirror Universe came in Season 2 of The Original Series, only after we had properly gotten use to a Spock without facial hair. This is why the Discovery‘s original visit to the Mirror Universe back in Season 1, while not without its high points, was a bit of a waste of the Mirror Universe setting. We didn’t know the characters and world well enough at this point in the show’s run to appreciate the Terran deviations from the show’s status quo. (I liked Ensign Connor as much as the next fresh-faced character who died in the Battle of the Binary Stars, but when he pops up alive in the Mirror Universe, it’s more of a “huh” moment than an “OMG” one.)

By Season 3, a season with the best and most consistent characterization yet, this is no longer the case. We know Burnham and Saru and Stamets and Michael and Tilly (OK, we always knew exactly who Tilly was). In Season 1, I was constantly Googling the bridge crews’ names because the show invested so little time in giving them any kind of characterization. Now, when the Mirror Universe versions of Joann and Rhys face off in a hallway brawl for promotion, I know enough about these characters to know this would not happen in our universe. (I would still like to know more about these characters though, please.)

And we know Emperor Georgiou, better than we ever did Captain Georgiou. Season 3 of Discovery has spent a fair amount of narrative time exploring how Emperor Georgiou’s time spent with the supportive, earnest, and idealistic crew of the Discovery has changed her from a singleminded tyrant into a tyrant who also knows the Kelpien term “Vahar’ai,” and her unexpectedly earnest goodbyes with Saru and Tilly are a testament to that. This episode wouldn’t work if we didn’t care about Georgiou, if we didn’t think there was a chance that, when placed back in the ultimate position of power in the Mirror Universe, she might make different kinds of decisions after her time spent with Discovery. Because, as fun as it is to see Captain Killy again, a Mirror Universe episode needs stakes and thematic focus too. And, in “Terra Firm, Part 1,” all of that comes from Georgiou.

For as long as Emperor Georgiou has been in our universe, she has been talking about the glory of her own. She is constantly comparing the Federation to the Terran Empire, and finding the former wanting. It’s a coping mechanism, sure, but that doesn’t make her feelings on the matter any less true. Now, when Georgiou steps through Carl’s mysterious door, she is given the chance to return to her world before everything fell apart. It’s a dream come true, but is this still Georgiou’s dream? Now that she’s gotten to know our version of Michael, one with a deep well of compassion for Georgiou, surely Mirror Michael’s shallow hate hits different?

One needs look no further than Georgiou’s interactions with the Mirror Universe version of Saru, who is a slave, than to see that Emperor Georgiou has changed. When Mirror Michael orders Saru be made into dinner for a absurdly minor “error,” Georgiou saves him, making him her eyes and ears on the ship. At this point, it’s unclear if Georgiou does it because she feels something like compassion for Mirror Saru or if she simply knows she can probably trust him more than most other people around her, but it’s certainly the kind of measured move that the Emperor Georgiou we originally met never would have made.

The episode ends on an abrupt and anti-climactic cliffhanger, the kind that feels more like a “fade to black” before a commercial break than the end of a first-parter: Georgiou gets Mirror Michael to admit that she has been plotting with Lorca to overthrow her, and chooses not to kill her daughter but rather to bring her to The Agonizer. Again, is this a decision based in compassion or strategy? Is the growth that even Georgiou recognizes in herself grounded in empathy or something else? If the cliffhanger has any narrative tension, it comes in this question. Because I don’t actually care what happens to Mirror Michael; I care what it says about, for lack of a better term, Georgiou’s soul.

I’m not convinced all of this isn’t some kind of test put into motion by some “higher” power trying to decide if they want to save Georgiou or not. (That Carl guy has Q vibes, is all I’m saying.) Either way, it’s an interesting narrative thread for Discovery to follow, albeit one that probably would have been served better by an episode fully devoted to its exploration. Instead, the first half of “Terra Firma, Part 1” awkwardly checks in with some larger plots, most notably the mysterious nebula-based distress signal related to the source of The Burn, before diving into a full-on Mirror Universe episode. I would have loved to see what this story would have looked like if it could have been completely Georgiou-focused, though I also understand why that would have been hard to justify—especially for a two-parter. As it stands now, it’s hard to judge the success of this episode without having seen the next episode, so mundanely abrupt was this ending.

While “Terra Firma, Part 1” may have its structural faults, it also does something incredibly clever: it makes Georgiou the audience surrogate in the Mirror Universe, the one character who knows what we know, aligning the audience with her point of view. It creates a bond between Georgiou and the audience, and that kind of narrative element can be an incredibly powerful thing. I hope “Terra Firma, Part 2” doesn’t waste it.

Additional thoughts.

It would have been interesting to see Adira in the Mirror Universe. Are they Trill here? What does non-binary identity look like in the Terran Empire? Does Adira just murder anyone who doesn’t use the correct pronouns? Because that would be awesome.

Sonequa Martin-Green looks like she is having so much fun portraying Mirror Michael.

If this is a backdoor pilot for Michelle Yeoh’s Star Trek spinoff, then it is an impressively thorough one.

There is a Jason Isaacs-shaped hole in this episode. I keep waiting for Lorca to come around the corner and… he doesn’t.

David Kronenberg is back. He gives us some important backstory about what the heck is up with Georgiou. Basically, creatures are not made to travel too far from their own time and universe. Kronenberg only knows of one other person who has traveled through both time and away from their own universe, and… things did not end well for them.

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While Kronenberg may not have an appaling solution to Georgiou’s illness, the Discovery computer does (hey, Zora), with a major assist from the Sphere data. According to the computer, Georgiou has a 5% chance of survival if she travels to Danus V. The computer gives very few details on what that chance might look like, but Georgiou and Michal eventually learn that it looks like a smarmy man in a bowler hat and a door to the unknown amidst a snowscape.

Visually, Georgiou and Michael traipsing across a deserted yet beautiful planet had to be a callback to the opening scene of this show.

It’s great for movie night, doesn’t mean we should trust, it is a hilarious and understandable take on Zora.

Saru is 100% ready to sacrifice the needs of the few for the needs. ofthe many, but “Terra Firma, Part 1” begins to ask the question: What will happen when he’s the one who really cares about the few? The distress call related to the source of The Burn came from a Kelpien ship that was investigating a dilithium nursery inside of the nebula over 100 years ago and Saru really cares about it. Kelpian, over 100 years old.

“Your crew member is drowning. If you let her, your crew will never look at you or the Federation ever again. And you’ll never look at yourself the same way again.” Admiral Vance has been a cool addition to this season.

“You’re never going to get the death you want here.” Michael, attempting to motivate Georgiou to fight for her life.

Not so unlike my Burnham. Bending people to your will. The only difference is you lie to yourself about it.

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Whenever Georgiou and Michael have a scene in profile together, all I can think about is how long and beautiful their hair is.

This episode should have been called “Death’s Alarm Clock.” Fight me.

“Where I’m from, we were prime and you were the mirror.” “As it should be.”

Saru tells Georgiou that he has learned as much from her as he did from Captain Georgiou, which same, but also Saru spent way more time with Captain Georgiou than we did.

“Number One, I suspect your crew may survive you after all.” No once can freeze out Tilly forever.

“I just cost us so much time.” Oh, man. Adira’s critical voice is so relatable. This truly is a crew of perfectionists.

Book maybe wants to join the Federation?

“Perhaps I should join your Phillipa Georgiou in hell.”

“What do you call a cute portal? A-door-able.”

“Why is it here?” “So she can go through.” Carl’s got jokes, you guys.

The way Mary Wiseman delivers that reading of Georgiou’s titles. *Chef’s kiss*

“I slept with him a few times last year, but I quickly grew bored.” Mirror Michael’s Lorca update made me laugh.

A Christ crown and absurdly high-necked robe? Emperor Georgiou has lewks.

“If strength is what my Michael seeks, she will find that I have more than enough.”

“If you have something to say to me, say it.” “You need to find better assassins”

“Do not confuse growth with weakness.” I’m just gonna keep quoting this episode.

“I was master of that trash heap.”

“As of this moment, our future is unwritten. Let’s make it count, shall we?”

Give me the Michelle Yeoh spinoff now, please.

The post Star Trek: Discovery Season 3 Episode 9 Review: Terra Firma, Part 1 appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[tdrcycle09]

Main Challenge #7 - Snatch Game!

This week, our queens put their feet in someone else’s shoes, and played the Snatch Game! Let’s see how well they did!

Analyse Thropic | Trisha Paytas

I chose to do Trisha Paytas for my Snatch Game, because a) I thought she was already this over-the-top character that would be fun to portray and b) she’s in a weird sort of way someone to admire. Like, for as much of a constant mess as Trisha is, she takes it in stride and she always gets back up and gets to work. I think there’s a lesson in there somewhere. Anyways, for the look, I took a lot of inspiration from the music video for Thick. She has some cut off jorts and I.CON.IC. socks-over-heels in the video, and pink sweaters are a staple of her wardrobe. No Trisha look is complete with some cute nails and a pair of sunglasses. Another iconic part of Trisha’s fashion is her collection of chokers. I think this look is pretty minimalistic, but is definitely something you could catch Trisha wearing when she’s driving her pink G-Wagon to Wendy’s or just filming a short vlog sitting on her living room floor.

Lila: I hate you so much. I could’ve just put your video on in the background and done some sewing and you couldn’t have told me if it was Trisha Paytas or Ms. Analyse Thropic playing her ass. I literally HOLLERED when I saw your titties this week, it just seems like they’re a focal point every week and we just have to point them out. Your characterisation of her was spot on, I loved that you kept the outfit quite draggy and the socks on your heels are everything. One thing I would’ve worked on is that you could’ve had your questions pop up in some sort of subtitle box, and cut dramatically from one mood to the other rather than having a sort of continuous vlog-style loop. It kind of threw me off when you started crying randomly rather than sitting with a high angle shot of you in the kitchen or even if you were crying into a bag of potato chips, like it could’ve worked all the more while. Overall, this was great work, Analyse!

Gluttoni: Analyse! I love you per usual. What a great choice as far as personalities go to do Trisha. Who in my eyes is one of the greatest viral stars and musicians ever. “Thick” the single was iconic. I’ll start with the look which of course is a tricky subject this week because you're painting with someone else in mind. But gurlllll….why you look so dry henny? I was seeing the progress of more refined brows and fined tuned makeup in the past weeks soooo don’t backtrack. I do think you did a fairly good job of doing a light “real girl beat” but I was just expecting more because Trish is extra as fuck. I loved the outfit because it definitely reflected something trendy women of 2017 would wear. So the look was pretty A1. What would have put this submission over the edge for me would have been more youtube lingo type shit. Like the freeze frame video icons with dumb ass titles during your punch lines for dramatic effect or simply more fucking crying. Also where was the mukbang portion. I feel a little cheated out of the drama that is Trisha but that aside this was strong snatch. Tight too.

Letha:  Analyse, as always you had me HOLLERING with your video. It was hilarious, your characterizations of Trisha were spot on, and even the shaky, vlog style of filming made sense. You captured the airheadedness of your character while still making your responses clever and funny. The look is very Trisha (those fuckin sock shoes, I cannot with you), but watch the leg bands on your tights. They kind of throw off the look of the leg, so if you're gonna wear them make sure you have an opaque pair of tights without the bands on the outside layer to hide them better. The makeup is also pretty good, the colors of the lips/brows make sense and I line the smoky eye. I feel like you're a bit flour white towards the middle of the face, especially the nose, so I think you could have toned it down for this challenge, since Trisha is a bit more subtle. Lip shape is good as well! You had a bit of a setback with your phobia last week, but I'm pleased to say you've made a full recovery in my eyes, great job!

Toni: Honestly I am disappointed this week from you, there wasn’t enough boobs, mukbangs, and you didn’t out anyone as gay and didnt cry enough????? Like 01/10. But in all reality this is sooooooo fucking funny I was crying!!! I kinda love these huge tits on you i think if you amde them a couple cups smaller it would look good on you. I think you really captured her personality and how tacky she is. I would have loved to see the nose be a bit more pug like the way hers is and I would have loved that instead of it being the vlog style video if you set it up as a mukbang, but all around this was so fucking funny!!!

Avana Noir | Abby Wilde as Stacey Dillsen

HELLO judges! FOR SNATCH GAME I play Abby Wilde as her character STACEY DILLSEN from Zoey 101!. she is a quirky character for her love of cotton schwabs, sassafras tea and LOGAN REESE which i amped for snatch game! She is kind of crazier and quirkier and schwabier! For my look I kind of based it off her prom look for the show since stacy doesnt really have good fashion...thats one thing we have in common! haha. I hope you hoes enjoy my lewk and performance!

Lila: Avana, I’m starting to just lose hope so much. I think this week out of any other was the chance to really step up and knock Snatch Game out of the park, and your portrayal of this actress playing a character didn’t work out so well. I had to google your character to find out about them as well as their actress’ name as  well, and Stacey Dillsen is rather a relic of the past with a few small jokes. Zoey 101 wasn’t as funny for me as a child, the only funny thing was the paralyzing potato chips episode, and as you can see, I don’t recall the episode name or title. For me, the video was flat, and the fire you had Week 3 in the soap opera isn’t prominent here. I think now is the time to really worry, we’re down to the final 7 and it’s go time from here on out. Overall, you did alright this week.

Gluttoni: I was not expecting this, Avana! I know you had a plethora of choices to choose from for the Snatch Game and I literally avoided your personal chat just so can be surprised about your choice. ZOEY 101 was such an iconic show and literally your character brought so much nostalgia back for me. Because who does not relate to Stacy in some form or fashion. She’s kook, kind of spooky and honestly just plain ol’ weird. You kind of took it there but literally not all the way. If you’re going to go completely out of the box, take it all the way there girl. Because I was just missing some more the traits that made her lovably odd. The look is very eh and I think you could have found something to fit her a bit better but I understand the prom joke. This was very cute and I definitely got a few good chuckles out of this. Werk bitch because I know you have more to give.

Letha:  Avana, I must admit I'm not too thrilled with your choices this week. Stacey Dillsen is a mildly funny, if annoying character from Zoey 101, and not one I would call an icon. But even considering that, if the video had been funny the choice would have worked for me, but I just didn't laugh that much. I do remember laughing at the throw/fall though. The voice you had pretty much down, which was esssentially just the lisp, but I'm not buying the look. I feel like you could have been MUCH MORE Zoey 101 with the fashion, even if you were going to prom, and that wig could have been much more pig tails and berets and all that. The makeup I can see for the character, maybe a darker lip would have helped. The swabs are a nice prop, though. All in all, I wasn't too shook by the performance, it was just okay for me. 

Toni:  So you made a really bold move with your character and sadly it really didn’t end up to well. I think the makeup is really fitting for the character and I think the voice is right, but i do think the dress isn’t fitting, you could have worn a sweater and jeans and your hair in pig tails and it would have been better. Content wise it was kinda flat, you only had 3 jokes that you kept going back to. I think this is because on the show shes a very one dimensional character and that was hard to make a into a fully realized impersonation. I think next time your best bet would be picking a stronger character.

Lexi Lamour | Tomi Lahren

Hi, Judges! Who did you vote for in this election? Because my special celebrity guest may have a few words for you depending on your choice! I chose to do Tomi Lahren because she's enough of a character that I could build on her personality. I was going for offensive, yet funny....circa Manila Luzon in RPDR S3 in the interview challenge. I was able to pull some things she's actually said, but also come up with things that I could see her saying. I didn't just want to quote directly everything she's said as I know that's been a problem during this challenge in the past. I feel like i got her movements, mannerisms, and just behavior in general down. I know the voice isn't totally there and I really did try, but this damn accent is as deep as I allow men to......well nevermind! As for the look I picked her classic silhouette. There are so many pictures online where she is wearing almost the exact same thing. She almost always wears a nude heel, so I paid attention to that detail. She's very minimal with the jewelry. Just a ring and a bracelet or 2. Overall I think I really did a good job with embodying her as well as taking her to an extra level.

Lila:  Ugh, those damn liberals and their Snotch Game. Hey Lexi! First off, the transformation into liberal slayer Tammy Lacoste is so accurate, I love it. From the skirt up, it’s really great. Nitpicking, be careful with you tights - flash photography always makes nylon fabric come up with this weird kind of texture and just a small lighting fix’ll help that! You got Toyota’s mannerisms and poses down to a T - however, after the third answer, I wasn’t really entertained. Like, I think I remember Tabitha being a liberal before that, and you could’ve broke up half the alt-right rants up with things contradicting herself, which would’ve made it a lot more satirical and less “okay, she said Trump again,” or “Oh, another liberal jab” I think I’m like banging down on you a little, just because you played her character really well, like I was like “ugh this girl needs to stop talking!” and that’s how most of us feel when we see Tombola Loreal on Facebook and Twitter. Overall, great work this week!

Gluttoni: LEXI! I was fucking gagged! Now I can’t stand Tonsillitis Litter but your impersonation of her was so spot on that I had to laugh. I’m glad you added the little disclaimer at the end bitch because for minute it got too real with your accent (that worked so well for this) that I thought you going back on the evolution chain and Animorphing into her. I don’t have any favorite parts about Tahiti Lasso but I love how you got the name calling down. It was so spot on but I wish you would have gotten more creative with them and made some crazy ass combinations of words that literally made no sense but overall you definitely got the vibes of her demonic self right. You looked so much like her and you definitely got her finger pointing, yelling demeanor down! I do think sometimes you could have pulled back just a tad and added something more dynamic to the character but you were doing someone with only a few brain cells .This was such intelligent choice for you and you honestly came to fight for another win with this funny interpretation of  this woman.

Letha:  Lexi, your impersonation was great this week. The look is totally on point and the only thing I would have changed would be to add a bit of highlight or gloss on to the center of the lip, as Tomi is very much a gloss girl. The set is a great touch as well. I'm not feeling the voice/mannerisms as much, as you kind of started to yell and I felt a bit more 'you' coming through. Tomi is very much controlled, almost monotone crazy, which I did get a bit of in your video, but wasn't too consistent. I had some laughs throughout the video and it was well put together, your editing is getting better for sure. Good job this week!

Toni: Tomato lavato my god. I think the look is literally a carbon copy, except for the lips could have a nice gloss on them and be shaped a bit cleaner. I was screaming during the video because bitch you were just saying shit she could say. I do enjoy that you went off a few times because that was funny.I do think your voice was 100% you which broke the fantasy a bit.  I think if you had done a joke or two like “trump would never EVER totally try to strip the gays of their rights” where its super tounge in cheek would have been so funny. Over all good work this week!

Marcella Fox | Victoria Beckham

Marcella Fox, who do you think you are? Some kind of superstar? Why yes, actually! So this week I’m everyone’s favourite 90’s rich bitch, Victoria Beckham! I chose her because I knew I could look like her, I knew I could sound like her, and I knew I could stretch her signature personality and dry sense of humour to make her funny enough for the snatch game! My version of her is very snobbish and bitter about her former bandmates, and clearly has her head in the clouds. Look-wise, I went full-on 90’s Spice Girl Posh - complete with little black dress, poker-straight bob and streaky fake tan! Instantly recognisable and truly iconic. It’s quite a simple look, no jewellery whatsoever, but that’s how she did things back then! And of course a pair of huge sunglasses to shield her eyes from the paparazzi. I copied her make-up almost exactly, and contoured my nose to look like her old one. You can call me a Wannabe, and say it’s Too Much, but I’ll just tell you to Stop!

Lila: I am gonna be honest, I opened your submission and I literally thought you kidnapped Posh Spice from the 90s and told her to pose for the camera. You look so DIFFERENT - I LOVE IT. Like, I don’t know who this is. This isn’t Marcella Fox -- until you opened your mouth. Almost immediately when you did your Snatch Game, the illusion dithered for me. I got elements of Victoria in there, but I wasn’t gut busting with laughter like I was for your informercial or soap opera challenge. I had a little chuckle at some elements that seemed totally commited, and some were quite slow and turned down a lot. There was a lot of commitment to the look, and some commitment to the performance, which had you had more of that stone cold physicality Victoria has, you could’ve amped your performance up to the Nth degree. However, you still Spiced Up our Lives. Great work!

Gluttoni: This was spot fucking on Marcie! Posh Spice is the Spice Girl everyone wants to be but not everyone can hone in on the diva essence that she has. You totally did that and it was outstanding to watch because it felt like I was watching a rare interview with her. THE LOOK WAS SO RIGHT. You looked so much like her I was so shook. I’d look like a junior high football player if I wore a tube dress and you looked so good so kudos to that. The mannerisms were there and the answers were thought out/funny. The fucking candy bar had me on the floor crying. My only critique I can give is that the characters you do tend to come off a tad similar so be wary of that. Overall phenomenal job gurl!

Letha: Marcella, let me start by saying that your look is on POINT this week. The makeup, the outfit, the hair, it's all Posh to a T and I live for it. That being said, I would say your video was pretty good, but not my favorite. I had a few laughs, but when picking someone like Vicky who doesn't have a huge personality, you had to really sell the cleverness, which I didn't get as much. I get that Victoria is a 'bitch', but it was pretty much just the one note throughout. The voice was not there at all for me, it was straight up Marcie, which isn't a huge point of contention, but it would have sold it more for me. Editing was good and snappy as always. All in all, good job!

Toni: Marcie im sorry but its actually against the rules to have Victoria stand for you. But in all seriousness the look is 100% on point and I really enjoyed how well you looked like her. The voice was very you and not Posh which broke the fantasy a bit. You did have so many good moments and I think the best one was the kitkat bit where shes sneaking bites, and I think if you had taken it a step further and gotten caught and spit it up, that would have been a riot. I think you were at the edge of the jokes going from funny to hysterical for most of the jokes and I wish you had pushed it over the edge. Over all good job this week!

Phoebe St. Jefferson | Abby Lee Miller

Wow I Made it to snatch game. Give it up for the comedy queens who flop at every comedy challenge! -huge applause- HOPEFULLY this video isnt as cringe as the infomercial one. I think I did a pretty good job portraying one of the meanest ladies in reality TV.

I chose Abby Lee no for her looks, but for her attitude in life. She is everything I want to be when I grow up. Delusional, fat and serving 2 years in prison for fraud. My biggest challenge was making myself the same size as abby. The judges did say to pick someone you could physically resemble and clearly I can’t read. For the weight I tucked in blackets and socks under a shirt to make myself more lumpy. For the hair I used rolled up socks to make a big bump, and then made her iconic side swept bangs. I dressed in as much black as I could and as always for abby added a colorful scarf. For characterization, I tried to look as old and bitter as possible, and I always had at least 2 sour patch kids in my mouth. I hope you guys enjoy my new found mean streak.

Lila: It feels, to me, that there’s a lack of something here. I don’t know, it feels like you’ve had a bad week or something and your work shows it. You aren’t really connecting as Abby Lee Miller, but you have the look of her down, big baggy jumper, her nasolabial creases, the hair, ehhh, not so much, be careful on that part. It just came across as angry gym teacher mainly. You cracked several times, you stammered quite a bit through your snatch game, and there was a few elements that were good, like the beginning with the wall, I got that immediately, and that was kind of it. I get that, we’re one in the same; we can’t play a celebrity parody of a character, we’re more attuned to real life people because real life people have those quirks, whereas some celebrities don’t have that innate relatability. Anyways, it was an okay try this week, Phoebe.

Gluttoni: Phoebe, I thought this challenge could have been yours for the taking if I’m honest. Because I know you to be very humorous and bubbly but somehow I feel like your wit was just a bit lost in the sauce. Abby Lee for me is very rarely funny on TV because she’s more stern than she is comical and I don’t think she may have been the best choice of what you should have done. I loved the pyramid aspect but I thought she always starts from the bottom but that’s a minor detail. I thought that helped lighten up this video for me a bit. The body padding and inflections were very on point. I just thought this could have been pushed just a tad farther in order for it to really be a stand out amongst the pack. How’s your head? Because bitch it needs to be in the game.

Letha: Phoebe, when picking someone like Abby Lee Miller, I needed more personality. You had some sassy moments, but you cracked and lost the character and came across as just generally bitchy, which can get a bit boring. I feel like if you had had better editing, it could have helped you make things a bit snappier and more professional. The look is pretty much there, you could have done arguably less liner, but hey, it's drag. I feel like, and this is just my personal opinion, that you're very quirky, maybe a bit awkward, and are at your funniest when you are just being yourself. I think if you had maybe picked a celeb more along those lines, it might have worked better, as I feel you stretched yourself a little too far with this impersonation. All in all, it's just alright for me. 

Toni: SHE HAD A SOURPATCH KID IN EVERYQUESTION. So there were parts of this that were good and parts that were bad. The good is the look, looking at you I can instantly tell who you are there are just a few things i would fix, like lighter eyeliner and making sure you don’t get super muddy! On the content of your video I felt that it was lacking a lot, it started out good with the pyramid and kinda dwindled with you breaking character and making anne frank jokes???? I think if you had focused more on making it like you were training us (the viewers) it would have turned out a lot better!

Sugar Monroe |  Nikkie De Jager

Hiiiiieeeeee judges! This week for snatch game I decided to do NikkieTutorials because, when I started drag, she was my go to for makeup! So I decided to pay homage to her. From the smokey halo eye to the blinding highlight. She’s also known for wearing pajamas pants while filming so I did too. The cat ears are also her fave accessory. :3

Lila: Whatever Happened To Jeffree Star? Hi Sugar! I liked your Snatch Game, it was sub-par as far as the look and performance went. You had some solid moments parodying Nikkie and I loved your tongue and cheek attitude to her life and stuff, really cute look, obviously she’s only done two hyper-draggy looks so I mean, I expected this. Personally, I felt like I was watching a trailer when your snatch game was happening - nitpick, chill with the transitional shots! A quick jump cut to the question would’ve done better. It did get a little like Housewives-catchphrasey, how quick you answered some of your questions, if you structured it out to be a little bit more like funny funny funny, like your video was so short, you could’ve done like a mini Hits and Oh God No’s in the middle of it, like being like “on my Oh God No’s list, (a read of someone or something)” and like editing is such a key to make things funny too, stopping the music to make a joke land is a good key for editing. (P.S. - I think this highlighter technique looks amazing, practice on your actual mug a little too!) Overall, you did a good job this week!

Gluttoni: This was also another spot on intelligent choice to do Nikki, Sugar. I adore Nikki because she's honestly such a talent and a dork. While I can see where you were going, you just didn’t put in a lot of momentum that I needed for one of my personal favorite beauty gurus. You had the beauty influencer lingo down with the discount codes and stuff but your jokes were just a little one note and flat for me. Where is blending out your foundation with a bell pepper or boiled egg? Where are the links to your vlogs for you at a random beauty con? This just needed a little more quirkiness to take the likeness of Nikki up a bit because I was getting more Sugar than anything. The blonde wig, cat ears and pajama pants were very on brand for what you were trying to sell. Solid work this week but I know you got something bigger and better in store for us.Chat Conversation End

Letha: Sugar, this look is cute and I knew who you were doing right away. The fashion picks were a choice and your explanation makes sense (and honestly we all do the same when filming, let's be real). The makeup makes a lot of sense for Nikkie, and the overblown highlight is very her. As for the VIDEOOO, I felt it was quite short? I'm all for being brief but I feel like you could have let the jokes develop and breathe more, rather than just rushing on to the next one. I had a few chuckles throughout, and the whole thing was very tongue in cheek, which was good. I know we talked about the voice, and I wasn't too pleased that there wasn't much of a change to your normal voice. You're VERY Southern, and I just didn't get much Nikkie in that regard. The editing was okay, a bit abrupt at places, but the green screen work was a nice touch. All in all, there were some places for improvement, but not bad!

Toni: Lets start with the good I think the look was and you really got it!! My issue comes from the video or lack there of. The character just wasn’t there other than look, because it was just all sugar and It was so bland which was a dissapointment. I think if you had included some of her gasps and screaming from some of her challenge videos it would have been a lot better. The time also is a huge factor because there was maybe 45 seconds of you on the scene and didn’t give you much time to build the character.

[theconservativebrief]

Florida voters are still casting ballots in the race for governor, but already some liberals can’t help but ask: Could Democrat Andrew Gillum be their answer to 2020?

The 39-year-old, African-American mayor of Tallahassee is in a dead heat with white, 40-year-old pro-Trump Republican Ron DeSantis. Gillum lit up national progressives by pitching Texas voters an unabashedly progressive platform, including Medicare-for-all, environmental protections, and criminal justice reform. He picked up Sen. Bernie Sanders’s (I-VT) endorsement early in the primary and he built on that momentum.

Gillum rejected the strategy Democrats have used for years in red or purple states. Instead of racing to the center in hopes of peeling off centrist Republicans (and often losing by a few points anyway), Gillum is taking the path the new progressive left craves.

“I believe that we are running as the most unapologetically progressive candidate because I believe that is how we are going to win the state of Florida — by leaning into who we are and not against who we are,” Gillum said on a debate stage.

“We should never apologize for our progressive values. When we pretend to be center right in general elections, we lose,” he said in a tweet. “I’m sick of losing.”

The Florida race has become a 2020 presidential test-case for Democrats, pitting a new left candidate against a Trump ally in a big, diverse, swing state won by Donald Trump in 2016. Gillum himself has an even more literal link — he’s a candidate who liberals love to drop into the 2020 speculation game.

wow! Forget Florida although I have lots of family there. Save the nation! #Gillum2020

— Mimi Negron (@mimi_hern) August 29, 2018

Gillum’s campaign spokesperson Johanna Cervone responded to a question about the 2020 buzz saying, if he wins Tuesday, his “focus and priority will be Florida.”

The fact that progressives are musing, even jokingly, about a candidate who is still running in a 2018 election (and who is not guaranteed to win on Tuesday), shows how much they want not only to beat Trump in 2020, but to remake the Democratic Party to do it.

Gillum has set himself apart from of a handful of progressive stars lighting up the left this year. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez of New York, 29, and Beto O’Rourke of Texas, 46, won progressives over by jumping into what looked like doomed races and running as skeptics of the establishment and carriers of the progressive cause.

And they’re just plain cool.

Democratic presidential candidates have to energize a diverse group of constituencies, more so than Republicans, whose party is much more homogeneous. The cool factor has helped the most successful modern Democratic presidents transcend the different groups. John F. Kennedy, Bill Clinton (believe it or not, young millenials, he was cool in his day, even if people are reluctant to be around him these days), and Barack Obama all had it.

Ocasio-Cortez, a democratic socialist, defeated Rep. Joe Crowley, a powerful establishment Democrat who is a close ally of House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi, in a primary victory so stunning it caught her own party by surprise.

New York Democratic congressional candidate Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez stands with Democratic congressional candidate Ayanna Pressley (right) at a rally in Boston, on October 1, 2018. Scott Eisen/Getty Images

She earned a Sanders endorsement early, and she’s gone on to campaign alongside him for other liberal candidates. She likes to speak for a new generation of young voters she urges to step up: “For young people, the thought of maintaining the status quo for our entire lives is unthinkable,” she tweeted recently. “More than anyone else, WE will have to live in the future our politicians are creating. And the one they’re making now is completely unsustainable. Together we can change that.”

Young people are listening. She thrills her supporters with charisma, including on Twitter where she brushes off haters with modern finesse.

In one popular exchange, she responds to conservative criticism that she her populist values were insincere because she was photographed in an expensive suit for Interview magazine. She shot back that, you don’t get to keep the clothes!, concluding: “Get used to me slaying lewks because I am an excellent thrift shopper.”

Own your power. For so many, it’s radical to feel comfortable in your own skin – and to know that you are more than…

Posted by Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez on Friday, September 7, 2018

O’Rourke is challenging Republican Sen. Ted Cruz in Texas. O’Rourke is still down in almost every poll against Cruz, who is loved in his home state, but regardless of how he performs Tuesday, he’s inspired liberals nationwide for his brash campaign.

Beto O’Rourke at a campaign rally in Conroe, Texas, on October 21, 2018. Loren Elliott/Getty Images

O’Rourke is undeniably cooler than the incumbent. NBA superstar LeBron James and San Antonio Spurs coach Gregg Popovich have sported “BETO” hats at practice and Texas games. In his 20s, O’Rourke was the bassist in a punk band. A video of him skateboarding at a Whataburger after one of his debates against Cruz has gone viral. Even several attempted burns by the Texas GOP team led to this reaction:

Based on the reaction to our tweets we can confirm that Beto is in fact going to receive 100% of the vote from Buzzfeed contributors, out of state liberals, and people who use the word “rad.” We feel very owned :'(

— Texas GOP (@TexasGOP) August 29, 2018

Gillum, a telegenic man with a clear, sure voice that could fit in on public radio, recently turned to his opponent, DeSantis, during a debate and knocked him down so casually and so authentically that a clip of it went viral. “Now, I’m not calling Mr. Desantis a racist,” Gillum said. “I’m simply saying the racists believe he’s a racist.” It was a mic drop moment.

While all three of these stars are popular, Gillum is emerging as the big national hope. If he wins, he’ll have shown he can win a big diverse swing state state by carrying the progressive flag.

Ocasio-Cortez comes from a very liberal district, which doesn’t give her a chance to show whether she has broad appeal. O’Rourke, who was the early progressive breakout star, has a tougher climb to victory. As political scientist Philip Klinkner joked on Twitter: “Tired: Beto 2020. Wired: Gillum 2020.” (If Beto wins, he’ll surely be right back alongside Gillum.)

Trump carried Florida with 49 percent of the vote (to Clinton’s 47.8 percent), clocking the states 29 electoral votes to his column. As governor, Gillum could help boost a Democratic candidate; as the candidate, he could, potentially, carry it outright in a critically important state.

Democrats aren’t shy about telling pollsters how they really feel about Trump. In a Pew Research Center study released in June, just 6 percent of liberal Democrats said they approved of the president’s performance.

But as much as the mobilization on the left is about stopping Trump, the progressive enthusiasm is about the future of the Democratic Party. The left wants change, especially after 2016.

The progressive left saw Hillary Clinton as an encapsulation of the establishment, literally a participant in building the architecture of the party. They believe the establishment is too close to corporate America. (Clinton spent time with lobbyists and big donors during the campaign and she took big bucks from banks to give speeches after she left the State Department.) And they think it’s too quick to sell out to the right.

Sanders took on Clinton from her left, challenging her on not only policy, but on her fundraising tactics and her affiliation with banks. Ultimately, Clinton won the nomination, but Sanders won the party’s future.

Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-VT) and Democratic governor-hopeful Andrew Gillum during a campaign rally in Tampa, Florida, on August 17, 2018. Chris O’Meara/AP

His views have reshaped the party almost across the board. Most of the likely Democratic hopefuls have moved further left than Clinton’s starting point in 2016, adopting Sanders’s positions on health care and other issues. The Democratic presidential primary is shaping up to be a fight over ideas all rooted in progressive politics.

But on the question of the establishment, most of the field is in a poor position to make that claim. If a candidate backed Clinton over Sanders — and many high-profile Democrats did — they’ll have trouble claiming status as a member of the new left.

A few hopefuls can point to a record of bucking the party. Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-MA) was the conscience of Obama in the Senate during his two terms. But years have gone by since then. She will need to distinguish herself as someone other than a US senator, particularly after backing Clinton over Sanders.

Sen. Elizabeth Warren speaks in the Democratic Outreach Team’s room at her campaign headquarters in Dorchester, Massachusetts, on October 12, 2018. Hadley Green/Washington Post/Getty Images

Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand (D-NY) stood up to many in her own party in pushing out Sen. Al Franken (D-MN) over sexual assault allegations. She made sexual assault in the military a national issue. She even called out Bill Clinton. But she is still a US senator, one who signed on to the Clinton campaign early.

Overall, aside from Sanders himself, the field of likely contenders will have trouble running as outsiders.

If Gillum wins, he wouldn’t carry the same baggage. Like Obama, who got to run as an opponent to the Iraq War and a Washington outsider, Gillum could run as a post-Clinton-era progressive, a fresh face who is ready for a new Democratic Party. He got an early Sanders endorsement, too.

“It’s an honor to have Senator Bernie Sanders’ endorsement in this campaign,” Gillum said in a statement. “He has been an unapologetic fighter for everyday working people standing up to the special interests. From Medicare-for-All, to a $15 minimum wage, his ideas and platform have become the Democratic Party’s north star on economic justice for those who need it most.”

Gillum did literally support Clinton in 2016, and he was name-dropped as a possible vice presidential running mate. And he’s under the cloud of an FBI investigation, which is looking at corruption in the city of Tallahassee, including during his years as mayor.

He represents what progressives are hoping for, though. Gillum is a fresh national face who would take the Democratic Party in a new direction, and he’d be the opposite of Trump.

Gillum at a campaign rally in Miami, Florida, on September 24, 2018. Joe Raedle/Getty Images Original Source -> Gillum 2020?

via The Conservative Brief

[lindyhunt]

We Talked to Huda Kattan, Jen Atkin (and Others!) About Why Dubai Should Be On Everyone’s Beauty Radar

When you think of the beauty industry and its capitals, you likely think of the usual four cities: New York, London, Milan and Paris. They also happen to be the fashion capitals of the world. Or at least they were, once upon a time.

But thanks in large part to social media and the access it offers us, inspiration and influence now comes from, literally, all around the globe.

And one of the cities that’s playing a major role in the beauty industry right now is Dubai, boasting beauty trends that are very different from those coming out of the west. Middle Eastern beauty in general tends to take a “more is more” approach. Bold brows and false lashes aren’t reserved for special occasions—for many women, they’re part of a daily routine.

And as a Middle Eastern woman myself, I know this firsthand. While I rarely step out in a full face of makeup, some of my favourite childhood memories involve gathering at a family member’s house before a wedding, where all the women in the family would get ready together. That’s where I was introduced to things like lip overlining, hair extensions and enough kohl eyeliner to fill a drugstore aisle.

That’s why when Emirates invited me to explore Dubai and get to know not only the city, but also its budding beauty scene, I couldn’t say no. So I happily hopped on a 13-hour-long flight in search of beauty secrets from the industry experts in Dubai, land of bold brows and flawless contour.

Dubai – where the world comes to meet | Image Credit: @JordHammond #MyDubai #EmiratesAirline #HelloTomorrow

A post shared by Emirates (@emirates) on Oct 26, 2017 at 8:01am PDT

What I didn’t realize was that my glam education would start before the plane even took off. Emirates prides itself on its comfort, glamour and excess. In fact, I learned that a single first class seat on an Emirates flight—complete with on-board showers, a Bulgari kit of amenities, the largest on-flight screen of any airline (32 inches!), loungewear that uses Hydra Active Microcapsule Technology to release motion-activated, nutrient-rich sea kelp which prevents dehydration and stimulates circulation (!!!)—is valued at around half a million dollars.

Pack even more into your trip to Dubai when you fly with us. ‘My Emirates Pass’ gives you access to over 250 exclusive offers across the city, simply by showing your boarding pass. For more details, click on the link in our bio. #MyDubai #EmiratesAirline #HelloTomorrow

A post shared by Emirates (@emirates) on Jan 3, 2018 at 8:05am PST

Then there are the flight attendants, who I learned have a major beauty trick up their sleeves. A well-known Emirates rule is that the women working the flight must wear a matte red lipstick (of any brand) that perfectly matches the red accents of their uniform. Since they’re flying for long periods of time, the matte lipstick has to be long-wearing and ultra comfortable, even in the dry, harsh air of a flight cabin. The most popular lipstick choice? Write this down: Sephora Collection Cream Lip Stain Liquid Lipstick in 01 “Always Red.”

Imagine the amount of swatching and trial and error required to find the perfect red.

We're looking to expand our cabin crew team. If you're passionate about delivering an award-winning customer service experience while discovering the world’s most exciting destinations then we'd like to hear from you. Click on the link in our bio to apply today.

A post shared by Emirates (@emirates) on Feb 4, 2018 at 7:04am PST

Now that the (chic and actually really relaxing) flight was behind me, it was time to talk to some beauty industry experts about what they love about Dubai and why the city is on its way to becoming a major player in the beauty scene.

Huda Kattan

OMG!! 25 Million Followers!!! You guys make me so happy!! I love you guys beyond words! Thank you for making this dreamer into a creator and for being such a special part of my life! We are proof that hard work and passion are all you need to succeed! When I first started, I was broke and scared to try something new, and now find our company competing with giants, and that’s all because of YOU!! You guys inspire me so much and I love each and every one of you ❤️❤️❤️❤️

A post shared by Huda Kattan (@hudabeauty) on Apr 15, 2018 at 7:41am PDT

Dubai’s most famous beauty industry insider is Huda Kattan, Iraqi-American makeup artist and brand founder. About ten years ago, Kattan was working in L.A, where she became a go-to makeup artist for celebs like Eva Longoria and Nicole Richie. Upon moving back to Dubai, she launched a blog called Huda Beauty, and later, in 2013, a successful cosmetics line of the same name. Today, Kattan is considered the richest Instagram influencer, raking in an impressive $18,000 for each sponsored post that she shares with her 25 million followers.

On Dubai’s love of glam “Beauty in the Middle East is very glamorous, and the women living in this region love to pamper themselves. Many muslim women wear a niqab or a hijab, so the eyes really are the focus. [We also] have strong features and tend to play them up with eye makeup. Middle Eastern women can get away with wearing false lashes on a daily basis, having a dramatic winged liner, or being really bold when filling in their eyebrows.

We love to take chances and be quite daring. Women in Dubai love going full glam on any regular day; that means lashes, contour, highlight, prominent brows and a perfect eyeliner. European and [North American] women are definitely a lot more natural when it comes to their makeup.”

I’ve been straightening my hair for years, but sooo ready to just let my natural curls take over! Which style do you guys prefer: straight & polished? Or wild & curly?

A post shared by Huda Kattan (@hudabeauty) on Apr 11, 2018 at 6:30pm PDT

On skincare “When it comes to skincare, we love natural ingredients–like using coconut oil to remove our makeup, castor oil for our brows, or using rose water as a toner. A lot of Middle Eastern women use ingredients from around the house because it’s what their mothers and grandmothers did for so many years and they trust it!

However, in the west, women are more aware of ingredients lists and if there is SPF in their products.”

Guess who I spent the day with?! The stunning @oliviaculpo 😱❤️❤️❤️ She’s perfection @oliviaculpo @oliviaculpo

A post shared by Huda Kattan (@hudabeauty) on Feb 25, 2018 at 6:55am PST

On Dubai as an up-and-coming beauty industry hub

“I think Dubai will be the [leader in] ‘modern beauty.’ You can get the very best products here, some of the best Hollywood doctors and dentists practice here, and because the city is very young, it leads the way with beauty trends. Dubai offers unlimited possibility. I moved here permanently in 2008 and it was a really interesting time in my life. It was a time of self-discovery and what the UAE represented for me was limitless opportunities.

The Middle East is a really vibrant market and the beauty industry is fast-growing, particularly when it comes to indie and niche beauty brands. I feel like beauty is a necessity in the Middle East. Because of their amazing features, women in the Middle East wear more makeup to enhance their big beautiful eyes and bold brows. They’ve always loved makeup. Being very glam and over-the-top is a part of Middle Eastern culture and history; it’s as though it’s in your blood to love beauty.”

Jen Atkin

Holy ship we did 75 haircuts this week!✂️🤯 Thx to @styled and all of the staff and clients at @sashspa @bellefemmedubai for being so sweet! Also thx @hairinel and @amandaleehair for all of your bomb AF blowouts👯‍♀️… and last BOAT not least thx @jumeirahalnaseem for taking such good care of us! ⛵️👋🏼 #jumeirah #MyMadinat #rediscovermadinat

A post shared by Celebrity Hairstylist (@jenatkinhair) on Mar 9, 2018 at 10:26am PST

Celebrity hairstylist and founder of Mane Addicts and Ouai Haircare, Jen Atkin, visits Dubai regularly, as many of her clients are located in the UAE and are willing to pay serious cash to have her cut their hair.

On what draws her to Dubai

“I’ve been traveling to Dubai for 5 years now. I go four or five times a year, for a week at a time. A lot of my followers [and clients] are in the Middle East.”

On the retailers and industry in Dubai

“The beauty industry & retailers are so glamorous and savvy. Everyone does their research and knows about the best beauty regimes for gorgeous hair and skin.”

🚀 to Dubai for my @dysonhair masterclass, @sephoramiddleeast @theouai meet up, and 3 days of 💇🏻‍♀️💇🏽‍♀️💇🏾‍♀️ at @bellefemmedubai. I'm going to IG live tmrw so leave any hairdrying or styling questions 👇🏼

A post shared by Celebrity Hairstylist (@jenatkinhair) on Mar 5, 2018 at 9:27am PST

On what she’s learned from Middle Eastern clients

“Middle Eastern ladies tend to have hair that’s twice as thick as, and longer than, that of my clients back in Los Angeles. My clients here have taught me a lot about what women need. I learned about hair masking from them! They told me they have weekly masking nights at home with their family. That inspired me to create the Ouai Treatment Masque.”

Sonia and Fyza

Caption this

A post shared by Sonia & Fyza Ali (@soniaxfyza) on Jan 27, 2018 at 5:11am PST

You may know Sonia and Fyza as the Instagram influencers who have a striking resemblance to Kim and Kylie. But while they don’t personally see the similarities, they’ve used the Kardashian-Jenner association to build an impressive following and brand. Fyza, a makeup artist, posts photos of her work (which she does on her sister, Sonia), to their 781,000 followers, many of which come for the Kardashian-Jenner resemblance, but stay for the lewks.

On how they got their start

Fyza: I’d had a passion to move to the States from a young age. I wasn’t getting any opportunities as a makeup artist in the UK, where we were born and raised. I wasn’t getting any jobs because my last name was Abdullah. I feel bad for it now but I took my last name out. It was stopping me from getting any work.

Sonia: When she’d send an email, she’d use my name because it’s universal.

Fyza: Her name sounded European, so I’d use her name. That’s why the [Instagram] page is called Sonia first. Anyway, I wanted to move to the States because I always felt it was more accepting than the UK, for muslims especially. They say it’s harder but when you look a certain way in America, you’re accepted.

So we were on vacation in Miami and a woman who worked at M.A.C stopped us and said she loved our makeup, which I had done. She said, “There’s an app called Instagram. I want you to upload images of your work on Sonia or your mom.” She was the head of the region—from Canada, I think. She told us, “I want you to upload your work as much as you can so I can show my coworkers why you should come over here.” Every few days, I’d do a look on Sonia and we’d upload pictures with my mom’s digital camera onto the app.

Sonia:No hashtags. Nothing.

Fyza: All of a sudden people were following us and requesting Kim Kardashian-inspired looks. I started getting these makeup bookings from all over the world. I’d do a billionaire’s wife’s makeup every weekend in Vienna. I’d be flown out to Morocco and Spain and to the royal family of Saudi Arabia. All of them wanted a Kardashian look.

On whether or not the Kardashian-Jenner comparisons bother them

Fyza: No, it doesn’t bother me. They’re the most beautiful women in the world at the moment. They’re getting the most attention. I’d rather look like them than Paris Hilton.

Sonia: Because of them, our look is okay now. It’s accepted.

Fyza: Growing up, I was a hairy Arab girl that no one wanted. Now…

Sonia: But people don’t see our personalities now. We’re each just seen as someone who looks like someone else. Later on, when you get to know us as people, the image of Kim and Kylie disappears. Our personalities are nothing like theirs. We don’t really watch them so we don’t know how they act or their mannerisms.

Fyza: They’re very Californian. We’re British. It’s totally off.

Sonia: People expect us to speak in an American accent when they meet us. They’ll say, ‘You guys sound nothing like them!’ We’re not trying to act like them…

had the loveliest time talking to @soniaxfyza (the dubai-based sisters you probably know as the kim and kylie lookalikes on instagram) about beauty trends in the UAE, working in makeup pre- and post-kardashians, and why middle eastern women rarely talk about their skincare routines. full story coming soon…ish 🙃

A post shared by suzie michael (@suziemichael_) on Feb 4, 2018 at 10:29am PST

Fyza: I really admire them so much. If it wasn’t for them, blonde hair and blue eyes would still be the only thing considered pretty.

Sonia: No one would work with influencers before them.

Fyza: They get so much shit for what they do, but no one can do what they do. The amount of hate they get…I would quit if I was in their shoes. They came on the scene not knowing if they’d be laughed at or hated and still did it. They made people love them without having any talent. That’s the hardest thing to do.

We want to follow more beauty accounts! Please tag your fave ones so we can check them out 🌸

A post shared by Sonia & Fyza Ali (@soniaxfyza) on Apr 5, 2018 at 2:13pm PDT

On the differences between beauty trends in Dubai (where they now live) and the UK

Fyza: Girls here are wearing full coverage foundations from 8am onward.

Sonia: Many English girls would never wear full coverage makeup before. They’d save that for special occasions. They used to only wear tinted moisturizer and mascara. Now, they’re wearing Fenty and Huda foundation and going all out. They’re even wearing lashes, which is a lot for them—but that’s my everyday makeup.

On Middle Eastern beauty trends making their way west

Fyza: I think Huda started the trend of full-coverage makeup. She’s also a really good voice for the Middle East. Huda was the first in the Middle East to do the whole Kardashian thing. She’s put us on the map. Before that, I don’t think anyone gave a shit about girls from Dubai and what they were doing.

Sonia: Now brands are making more Arabic-influenced things that consumers can feel comfortable buying. When we were younger, you’d never see an oud perfume [in the mainstream market]. Now it’s everywhere. We went on a press trip with a group of bloggers from the west and all the girls were like, ‘What’s that smell? Ew, it’s so strong!’ Now everyone’s got oud perfume.

Fyza: We’re setting trends here. You know when someone laughs at you first and then copies you later? That’s the Middle East with beauty trends.

summer is here 🍭☀️ which city are you from? 💜

A post shared by Sonia & Fyza Ali (@soniaxfyza) on Mar 27, 2018 at 6:10am PDT

On why skincare doesn’t have as much of a pull in Dubai

Sonia: People here like what’s on trend. If an influencer writes about something, they’ll all go buy it.

Fyza: Women here generally have great skin. It’s so humid, so you’re forced to drink a lot of water. That’s the best thing for skin.

Fyza: I’m so into skincare but I’m not open about it. I’m very private when it comes to skin because it’s an insecurity. When Sonia posts a picture of makeup and you look at the insights, the likes are way more than a skincare post. But when you look at the insights, my skincare post is saved by 3000 girls while her makeup post is saved by 1000 girls. Girls are private here and don’t want their friends to know that they’re following skincare or surgery pages. Girls in Europe or America are more open with their insecurities and skincare routines.

Sonia: I’d never post pictures of my bad skin. It’s about modesty. It’s nice to have secrets [and not put that stuff on social media]. The mystery is very attractive.

On whether or not green beauty has taken off in Dubai

Fyza: It’s not doing very well here. Here, you can’t get past the term “mineral makeup” because girls think it’s not full coverage. I’m trying to tell girls it’s not just about covering your skin with makeup. You want to have a good base.

On what makes a beauty brand successful in Dubai

Fyza: Social media, 100%.

Sonia: Everyone here just follows trends on social media. If Huda’s wearing something, they’ll buy it. If we’re wearing something, they’ll buy it.

Fyza: That’s all that matters. Social media.

Shawna Morneau, Founder of Hammamii

☀️Reminiscent of the vast desert.. Hammamii’s gentle SAHARA Body Exfoliant combines an aromatic blend of clove, cinnamon and finely ground palm date kernels ~ rich in Vitamin E, Omega-3, magnesium and Vitamin K ✨ This exfoliant leaves the skin gently smoothed and remineralized 🙌🏽 #hammamii #madeindubai #sahara #bodyscrub #exfoliate #natural #skincare #skincareaddict #skincareproducts #skincarejunkie #careforyourskin #beautyproducts #skinbenefits #skinfood #health #wellness #relax #lifestyle #skinluxury #hammam #girlboss #entrepreneur #beauty #musthave #blogger #beautybloggers #picoftheday #dubai #mydubai

A post shared by Hammamii (@hammamiispa) on Apr 9, 2018 at 1:08am PDT

Originally from Windsor, Canada, Shawna Morneau traveled all around the world (no really, she’s lived in North America, Australia, Africa, Europe, Russia) working in the spa industry (going from therapist, educator and trainer, to spa consultant and director of spa for The Four Seasons Hotels and Resorts), before settling in Dubai. Combining her appreciation of fresh regional ingredients (like za’atar, sumac, saffron, salt from the Arabian Sea), her love for the hammam and her knowledge of cosmetic chemistry, Morneau launched luxury beauty brand, Hammamii, in spas a year and a half ago. Currently, the brand is carried at the Fairmont Fujairah and Sharjah Ladies Club and Armani at The Burj Khalifa, with plans to expand.

Take home a piece of the desert with Hammamii’s gentle SAHARA Body Exfoliant.. an aromatic blend of clove & cinnamon, combined with finely ground palm date kernels ~ rich in Vitamin E, Omega-3, magnesium and Vitamin K ☀️ This beautiful scrub leaves the skin gently smoothed and remineralized 🙌🏽 #hammamii #madeindubai #sahara #bodyscrub #exfoliate #natural #skincare #skincareaddict #skincareproducts #skincarejunkie #careforyourskin #beautyproducts #skinbenefits #skinfood #health #wellness #relax #lifestyle #skinluxury #hammam #girlboss #entrepreneur #beauty #musthave #blogger #beautybloggers #picoftheday #dubai #mydubai

A post shared by Hammamii (@hammamiispa) on Apr 14, 2018 at 1:06am PDT

On the inspiration behind Hammamii

“I wanted to come up with a nice range of cleansing rituals that were a merriment of North Africa and the Middle East. We do all our own manufacturing, and everything is made here in Dubai. I wanted to take my experience in cosmetic chemistry, my experience traveling through the Middle East, and my experience in plants and herbs and make a regional offering that was quite cool.”

On the conversation around skincare in Dubai

“Your skincare routine is something you wouldn’t do in front of anyone. However, the tradition of the hammam is basically seen as a social gathering. It’s the cleansing before Friday prayer. Organic and natural skincare is a new conversation here. People are starting to wake up and care about what’s going on their face. Before, it was more like, ‘Chanel is hot? I’m going to use Chanel. Shiseido is hot? I’m going to use Shiseido.’ Now, instead of using things that are so complicated, they’re going back to their roots. That’s what we found with Hammamii. People like the fact that these were their grandmother’s recipes that have been rebirthed and reproduced in a way that’s not so rough and more refined.”

Your perfect skincare companion when exploring the beautiful Emirates 🇦🇪 100% natural and 100% Halal, all of our products are compatible for all skin types 💆🏽‍♀️ As the first homegrown luxury spa brand, our raw materials are sourced locally within the region and our entire collection is formulated to be used in this dry desert climate ☀️ #hammamii #madeindubai #dubai #mydubai #skincare #summer #spabrand #luxury #natural #skincareaddict #skincareproducts #skincarejunkie #careforyourskin #beautyproducts #skinbenefits #skinfood #halal #wellness #spalife #lifestyle #desertlife #skinluxury #health #hammam #beauty #musthave #blogger #beautybloggers #instagood #instadaily

A post shared by Hammamii (@hammamiispa) on Apr 3, 2018 at 10:13pm PDT

On the ever-present glam factor

“I can’t imagine any of my friends going to a drugstore to buy skincare or makeup. Maybe at a specialty drugstore. Overall, it’s not really done, but this is just from my personal experience. Dubai is still Dubai. The glam side will always be more in the limelight.”

[apsbicepstraining]

How ‘Legally Blonde’ Hinged On One Ugly Gay Stereotype

It could’ve been Elle Woods’ chirpy resilience in the face of Harvard snobbery, the universality of the “bend and snap” or how she saved Cameron Diaz from buying that absolutely abhorrent angora sweater, but for whatever reasonablenes “Legally Blonde” punched me at the right time.

I nearly instantaneously identified with the infinitely quotable comedy of law corrects, learning shadows of myself in Elle( Reese Witherspoon) she was upending the expectations of what a blonde “mustve been”, as I was unsuccessfully attempting to integrate pink into my strict secondary school dress system. The “be yourself/ girl power” takeaway word apparently meant sufficient to yours truly to follow Elle’s escapades for two increasingly inauspicious sequels, a Broadway show and even a neighborhood Kidz Theater production of the musical at the ripe age of 24.

Not all heroes wear last-place season’s Prada shoes, OK?

This week tags the 15 th commemoration of “Legally Blonde” and, like any dutiful devotee, I established it my mission to break out that DVD I plagiarize from my older sister’s best friend( this provides as my official defense) and rewatch the movie. I still laughter at many of the things my middle-school-self determined fascinating Elle’s suggestion to Selma Blair’s character to “try not to look so constipated” but underneath the cotton-candy-colored aesthetic, I was confronted with something better ominou. For a movie that appealed so heavily to this preteen lesbian boy, it sure did traffic in homosexual stereotypes.

While the film has been rightfully defied for its flimsy feminist principles Elle’s knowledge of whisker treatments, instead of legal instances, for example, is what assures her the big win how “Legally Blonde” participates with its gay attributes deserves more examination. Holding Elle’s climactic jubilation in court depends upon outing a closeted consortium boy on the sit, this seems worth noting on its anniversary.

Ah yes, the pond boy, Enrique Salvatore( Greg Serano ). He’s the lynchpin in Elle’s defense case with fitness guru Brooke Windham( Ali Larter ), who’s been accused of assassinating her husband. As the primary witness for the department of public prosecutions, Enrique claims that he and Brooke were taking part in an clandestine thing with plans to deceptions the recently deceased for all he’s merit. During a recess, an impatient Elle ascertains herself waiting behind Enrique at the water fountain, tapping her toe in thwarting. He responds to her twitch with a now-classic retort:

( Mind you, he extradites this cable while wearing the sparkliest red-faced and dark-green button-down shirt in recorded biography, boasting an image of the Blessed virgin on the back .)

Putting those Harvard Law School skills of deduction to measure, our budding young advocate realizes that he couldn’t ought to have having an thing with her patron because, duh, he’s gay.

“Gay souls know designers, ” she tells the team matter-of-factly. “Straight mortals don’t.”

Armed with this information, Elle’s romantic interest, Emmett( Luke Wilson ), tricks Enrique into outing himself on the stay where you are exposing his boyfriend’s reputation is Chuck, a statement he immediately regrets manufacturing. Of track, Chuck is also in the courtroom and tornadoes out before weeping, “You bitch.”

** Elle and Emmett smile at one another **

Watch the stage below:

Omigod, you guys , I don’t even know where to begin.

Perhaps I was so dazzled by the pink-fueled theme of empowerment or Ali Larter’s devastating courtroom lewks ( clearly the latter) that this blatantly problematic representation of a homosexual humanity barely registered.

For some reason, I quickly accepted and at the least partly internalized that gay servicemen a) must have an encyclopedic knowledge of fad, b) hide their sexuality for self-serving concludes, and c) exist to be either sassy or sexualized.

Brooke eventually is acknowledged that she applied Enrique because of how good he searches in a Speedo. Noting Cher tapes in the reserve home is another accusation introduced against him in the scorching conversation over the puddle boy’s virility.

Even if you did identify with these stereotypically gay traits, expending the film’s reasoning, there is no other possible reason why someone might mask their sexual orientation other than to addition traction in court. Yes, he was lying on the hold. Yes, he’s an obstacle to Elle’s exultant trajectory. Yes, this film is a total camp fest. But the absence of any sense or shame for outing person in such a public way is gravely cringeworthy in retrospect.

People choose to remain in the closet in certain spaces for myriad rationales apart from sassily stepping on Elle Woods’ toes, like workplace discrimination, violence against LGBT parties, access to dwelling, family pushes, etc. The only insight “weve received” into Enrique’s inner life comes from how distraught his boyfriend is when he tries to cover up their relationship. Moving coming out funny is a sensitive task, especially within the context of a campy rom-com geared towards straight audiences.

Compounding these problems is, of course, the depiction of the character’s hasten, which is played for pranks( meet costume description above ), while also reinforcing racist tropes about Latinos being duplicitous and untrustworthy.

These topics were simply reinforced by the stage adjustment, “Legally Blonde: The Musical, ” which debuted on Broadway six years old after the original movie. The kitty boy’s testament was, in fact, expanded into an entire chant titled “There! Right There!( Gay Or European ?), ” in which the company offers reasons why he’s one or the other.

Lyrical sample: “Look at that brown, that hue skin/ Look at the killer influence he’s in/ Look at that slightly stubbly chin/ Oh please he’s gay, wholly gay.”

So what are we to construct of Elle, the pool boy, his public outing and “Legally Blonde” 15 year later? Although the gay dog subplot in “Legally Blonde 2: Red White& Blonde” might recommend otherwise, illustrations of homosexuality on screen have thankfully progressed since the movie’s handout. Cinemas of that era were rife with problematic depictings of lesbian parties. Seem no further than Witherspoon’s next commercial stumble, “Sweet Home Alabama, ” to find another speciman of extreme insensitivity to the LGBT experience. In a drunken violence, her reference outs a childhood friend at a barroom surrounded by his closest pals. Gay beings in these movies don’t exist on their own terms, but instead for the aim of advancing the journey of an Elle Woods or a Melanie Smooter( yes, that’s seriously her character’s appoint in “Sweet Home Alabama” ).

Since Elle hurled her graduation hat in the air, we have become less willing to accept these portrayings of LGBT life, as the consequences of marginalization are more acute than ever. When I watched “Legally Blonde” for the first time in middle school, I was a 12 -year-old closet case ashamed of all the ways I might be different than the sons who didn’t drag their parents to Reese Witherspoon star vehicles on the weekend. How could I understand the implications of a persona like Enrique, when the as of every pun on screen was what I so deeply horror in myself? Now, as a proud gay husband willing to expose his love of some “chick flick” 15 years later, I refuse to accept these representations because “Legally Blonde” and its gathering deserve so much better.

The strongest happening about these cinemas is, and will always be, Elle Woods. But she can only shoulder so much better slipshod plotting and simplistic characterizations before these trouble recognises start to detract from why this universe was attractive in the first place. To truly honor “Legally Blonde, ” we should celebrate where the film succeeded and acknowledge where it fell short, because whoever said you can’t experience a movie while at the same time being criticalwas seriously disturbed.

The post How ‘Legally Blonde’ Hinged On One Ugly Gay Stereotype appeared first on apsbicepstraining.com.

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[apsbicepstraining]

How ‘Legally Blonde’ Hinged On One Ugly Gay Stereotype

It could’ve been Elle Woods’ chirpy resilience in the face of Harvard snobbery, the universality of the “bend and snap” or how she saved Cameron Diaz from buying that absolutely abhorrent angora sweater, but for whatever reasonablenes “Legally Blonde” punched me at the right time.

I nearly instantaneously identified with the infinitely quotable comedy of law corrects, learning shadows of myself in Elle( Reese Witherspoon) she was upending the expectations of what a blonde “mustve been”, as I was unsuccessfully attempting to integrate pink into my strict secondary school dress system. The “be yourself/ girl power” takeaway word apparently meant sufficient to yours truly to follow Elle’s escapades for two increasingly inauspicious sequels, a Broadway show and even a neighborhood Kidz Theater production of the musical at the ripe age of 24.

Not all heroes wear last-place season’s Prada shoes, OK?

This week tags the 15 th commemoration of “Legally Blonde” and, like any dutiful devotee, I established it my mission to break out that DVD I plagiarize from my older sister’s best friend( this provides as my official defense) and rewatch the movie. I still laughter at many of the things my middle-school-self determined fascinating Elle’s suggestion to Selma Blair’s character to “try not to look so constipated” but underneath the cotton-candy-colored aesthetic, I was confronted with something better ominou. For a movie that appealed so heavily to this preteen lesbian boy, it sure did traffic in homosexual stereotypes.

While the film has been rightfully defied for its flimsy feminist principles Elle’s knowledge of whisker treatments, instead of legal instances, for example, is what assures her the big win how “Legally Blonde” participates with its gay attributes deserves more examination. Holding Elle’s climactic jubilation in court depends upon outing a closeted consortium boy on the sit, this seems worth noting on its anniversary.

Ah yes, the pond boy, Enrique Salvatore( Greg Serano ). He’s the lynchpin in Elle’s defense case with fitness guru Brooke Windham( Ali Larter ), who’s been accused of assassinating her husband. As the primary witness for the department of public prosecutions, Enrique claims that he and Brooke were taking part in an clandestine thing with plans to deceptions the recently deceased for all he’s merit. During a recess, an impatient Elle ascertains herself waiting behind Enrique at the water fountain, tapping her toe in thwarting. He responds to her twitch with a now-classic retort:

( Mind you, he extradites this cable while wearing the sparkliest red-faced and dark-green button-down shirt in recorded biography, boasting an image of the Blessed virgin on the back .)

Putting those Harvard Law School skills of deduction to measure, our budding young advocate realizes that he couldn’t ought to have having an thing with her patron because, duh, he’s gay.

“Gay souls know designers, ” she tells the team matter-of-factly. “Straight mortals don’t.”

Armed with this information, Elle’s romantic interest, Emmett( Luke Wilson ), tricks Enrique into outing himself on the stay where you are exposing his boyfriend’s reputation is Chuck, a statement he immediately regrets manufacturing. Of track, Chuck is also in the courtroom and tornadoes out before weeping, “You bitch.”

** Elle and Emmett smile at one another **

Watch the stage below:

Omigod, you guys , I don’t even know where to begin.

Perhaps I was so dazzled by the pink-fueled theme of empowerment or Ali Larter’s devastating courtroom lewks ( clearly the latter) that this blatantly problematic representation of a homosexual humanity barely registered.

For some reason, I quickly accepted and at the least partly internalized that gay servicemen a) must have an encyclopedic knowledge of fad, b) hide their sexuality for self-serving concludes, and c) exist to be either sassy or sexualized.

Brooke eventually is acknowledged that she applied Enrique because of how good he searches in a Speedo. Noting Cher tapes in the reserve home is another accusation introduced against him in the scorching conversation over the puddle boy’s virility.

Even if you did identify with these stereotypically gay traits, expending the film’s reasoning, there is no other possible reason why someone might mask their sexual orientation other than to addition traction in court. Yes, he was lying on the hold. Yes, he’s an obstacle to Elle’s exultant trajectory. Yes, this film is a total camp fest. But the absence of any sense or shame for outing person in such a public way is gravely cringeworthy in retrospect.

People choose to remain in the closet in certain spaces for myriad rationales apart from sassily stepping on Elle Woods’ toes, like workplace discrimination, violence against LGBT parties, access to dwelling, family pushes, etc. The only insight “weve received” into Enrique’s inner life comes from how distraught his boyfriend is when he tries to cover up their relationship. Moving coming out funny is a sensitive task, especially within the context of a campy rom-com geared towards straight audiences.

Compounding these problems is, of course, the depiction of the character’s hasten, which is played for pranks( meet costume description above ), while also reinforcing racist tropes about Latinos being duplicitous and untrustworthy.

These topics were simply reinforced by the stage adjustment, “Legally Blonde: The Musical, ” which debuted on Broadway six years old after the original movie. The kitty boy’s testament was, in fact, expanded into an entire chant titled “There! Right There!( Gay Or European ?), ” in which the company offers reasons why he’s one or the other.

Lyrical sample: “Look at that brown, that hue skin/ Look at the killer influence he’s in/ Look at that slightly stubbly chin/ Oh please he’s gay, wholly gay.”

So what are we to construct of Elle, the pool boy, his public outing and “Legally Blonde” 15 year later? Although the gay dog subplot in “Legally Blonde 2: Red White& Blonde” might recommend otherwise, illustrations of homosexuality on screen have thankfully progressed since the movie’s handout. Cinemas of that era were rife with problematic depictings of lesbian parties. Seem no further than Witherspoon’s next commercial stumble, “Sweet Home Alabama, ” to find another speciman of extreme insensitivity to the LGBT experience. In a drunken violence, her reference outs a childhood friend at a barroom surrounded by his closest pals. Gay beings in these movies don’t exist on their own terms, but instead for the aim of advancing the journey of an Elle Woods or a Melanie Smooter( yes, that’s seriously her character’s appoint in “Sweet Home Alabama” ).

Since Elle hurled her graduation hat in the air, we have become less willing to accept these portrayings of LGBT life, as the consequences of marginalization are more acute than ever. When I watched “Legally Blonde” for the first time in middle school, I was a 12 -year-old closet case ashamed of all the ways I might be different than the sons who didn’t drag their parents to Reese Witherspoon star vehicles on the weekend. How could I understand the implications of a persona like Enrique, when the as of every pun on screen was what I so deeply horror in myself? Now, as a proud gay husband willing to expose his love of some “chick flick” 15 years later, I refuse to accept these representations because “Legally Blonde” and its gathering deserve so much better.

The strongest happening about these cinemas is, and will always be, Elle Woods. But she can only shoulder so much better slipshod plotting and simplistic characterizations before these trouble recognises start to detract from why this universe was attractive in the first place. To truly honor “Legally Blonde, ” we should celebrate where the film succeeded and acknowledge where it fell short, because whoever said you can’t experience a movie while at the same time being criticalwas seriously disturbed.

The post How ‘Legally Blonde’ Hinged On One Ugly Gay Stereotype appeared first on apsbicepstraining.com.

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