#because she has no lines with that in the translated build but it's the kind of silly lil sound i always add when i write Kizuna | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

schoenpepper · 3 months ago

Text

'Til Someone Gets Hurt (Mean Girls the Musical)

Intro: You play a game with Floyd Leech. At the end of it all, you both get hurt.

Warnings: bad writing, awful grammar, not proofread, high schoolers doing things high schoolers should not be doing, do not imitate, Floyd Leech comes with a warning of his own, google translated French, bad words

A/N: Don't mind me just casually vaguely mentioning my oc see if you can spot 'em huehuehue

Masterlist

Yes, I look perfect

Ice Queen, that's what you see

It's what they all expect from me

But it's all show!

Go to school, they said. It'll be fun, they said. You're so gorgeous you definitely won't have a hard time fitting in with everyone, they said. You think to yourself as you jot down notes on paper, that if you ever found out who "they" were, you would push them out a window and watch them fall splat on the pavement into nothing but what was previously a meat puppet. Your eye catching good looks didn't mean shit back when you were being homeschooled by your parents in Africa, but Coral Shore High is not nearly as subtle in its staring as the monkeys and lions you used to talk to. You feel too many eyes on you and it makes you grip your pen tighter and wish to stab them all out one by one.

You thought humans had more decorum.

The fucking parakeets had more etiquette, that's for sure. Especially when you're making your way to the cafeteria and some girl trips (a little too obviously) right into your arms. She's all blushy and fidgety when you gently push her upright on the ground, and she thanks you and offers her number.

"Oh." You say with a blank stare. "We didn't have phones back in Africa."

"I could teach you if you—"

"Sorry, I don't have a phone."

With that beautifully blatant lie, you walk off to line up in the canteen to grab a tray of food, surprisingly more edible than movies portrayed high school food to be. You stand still and scout out which table is most optimal, and end up getting flagged down by some tall, champagne blond hottie with purple tips in his hair. He's definitely at least as attractive as you, so you think that he won't be slobbering all over you like the guys you sat with yesterday. It only takes a few steps for some wall to bump into you, teal hair and mismatched eyes and muscle and sharp teeth, leering down at you for only a second before marching off.

"Watch where you're walkin', shrimpy."

You don't appreciate the nickname, but you ignore it and go sit down next to the beautiful blond man. It's your lucky day because Vil Schoenheit is a model, full on desensitized from faces like yours. And he feels like a naggy mother with the way he grills you over your choice in food. He's kind, but it's hidden behind words so sharp they could stab you right in the gut. Rook Hunt is another handsome blond, if not a little unsettling when he fawns over your beauty in mixed French, and he gives off similar vibes to poachers your parents used to ward off in the savana. Epel Felmier is more cutesy than Vil's regal brilliance or Rook's off-putting handsomeness, but he threatens to throw hands when you say he's pretty.

Well, maybe you can fit in, after all.

Face it, you used me

You saw the sexy clothes

My supermodel pose

What did you know?

You should have stayed with the pretty trio instead wandering on your own. In your defense, you were just walking to class and minding your own business. Except, said class is in a building with the entire football field across the one you were in, and said football field has, regrettably, the football team playing on it. You feel nothing but disgust when the wolf whistles reach you, and absolute abhorrence when three guys with very punchable faces approach you with sly smirks, the rest of the team watching on.

"Hey sexy. You look like you could use some lovin'~"

You roll your eyes and keep walking. Surely, this is a clear enough sign of your disinterest, yes?

"Oh, playin' hard to get. That's hot."

"You're cute when you're mad."

"Baby, you wanna skip class with us and—"

You give them your best, and most charming smile.

Rook taught you that everyone deserves to see beauty before they feel excruciating pain. And you're sure, when your knee meets three different pairs of balls in succession, that the rest of the team sharply takes in a breath. "You wanna have more fun, boys?" You drawl lazily with a soft grin. "I have a little bit of time to play with you."

They don't answer as they curl up on the grass in pain. Satisfied with your handywork, you go back to walking to your calculus class.

You don't notice trouble, but he notices you.

"Are you interested in them?" Jade asks, clad in comfortable casual clothes while sat on the bleachers as he hands Floyd a bottle of water. Floyd laughs and eyes his three teammates who were struggling to get back up. And then, inevitably, back to you. "See Jade, I thought it was just another shrimp. But now I think they're more like a sting ray." He licks his lips. "That's fun. I like fun. I wanna try 'em."

Jade chuckles along with him.

Was I a game to you?

Was I a way to be cool?

I truly cared

Was I the fool?

"You hooked up with who, now?"

Vil's gaze has a way of making you feel like every decision you've ever done is stupid. To be fair to him, however, this one certainly is. You grimace and take a sip of your energy drink, pointing at one of the guys practicing on the basketball court. Floyd shoots a three-pointer and grins your way, flexing his shoulders so that the scratch marks you'd left last night peek out of his jersey.

"How in the world are you so infuriating?! Do you know who that is?"

"I mean, I was drunk." You sigh. Vil looks at you like a disappointed parent while Epel and Rook look at you in shock. "Besides, it's just a hookup. I don't even have his number, I'll probably never talk to him again."

"Then why are we here at your behest?"

You feel your cheeks flush. "Because I wanted to watch basketball?"

Even you know your excuse is shitty, but it's not as if you could tell the trio to their faces that last night felt good and Floyd was really right up your alley and your hands missed the feel of his abs, right? The man seems really in the mood today as he effortlessly makes another shot, making you clap your hands slowly. You stop when you see the three glaring at you. "You certainly have a unique eye for beauté." Rook says lightly, and you're pretty sure he's just saying you have bad taste. "Floyd Leech, twin to Jade Leech, part of football, basketball, swimming, and volleyball, an athletic superstar with a rather dreary disciplinary track record erased by his parents. He's left handed, has had at least four previous relationships, has almost beat someone to death twice, and spent the night in juvie just before his eleventh birthday."

"Rook, how do you even know all of that?"

Rook smiles and puts a finger to his lips. "That is a secret. Still, he is not exactly a prime choice for a partner. May I interest you in some other options?"

"You may not." You sigh.

"Well, if Y/N says it was just a hookup, then it's probably the end of it." Epel smiles softly, and you almost feel guilty when you nod with him. Right before you get in your car to drive home, you get a text from Floyd.

[Floydie: my team totally saw ur marks on my back hehe]

[Floydie: u should do it again sometime jellyfishie]

It's fine for you

It's fine to flirt

It's fine

'Till someone gets hurt

'Till someone gets hurt!

You know it's just a game.

He knows it's just a game.

You're two high schoolers making high school mistakes, and you take it all in stride when you let him into your house. Your parents are off somewhere so you don't need to worry about getting caught, but what you do have to worry about is Floyd finding some weird house ornaments your parents love and playing with them. "Floyd! Stop it, that's not a toy." You take the vase from his hands and put it back on the counter. "If you touch another delicate item in this house that you could very well break I will kick you out, do you understand me?"

"Okay chill, clownfish. I won't touch."

"Good." You sigh in relief and lead him up the stairs to your bedroom. Is it a good idea to let your booty call into your home? Probably not. But there's a calculus exam tomorrow that Floyd hadn't studied for, and Jade warned that if he fails, he'll get suspended from all his sports until he can get his grades back up. You didn't know what that had to do with you, but Floyd insists you tutor him or he won't get you laid while he's suspended.

Rude.

"What about this one?" He points at another question on the textbook. The two of you are sitting on the floor, comfortably leaning on each other with your tiny study table propped up on the rug. You glance at the equation and point to the notebook in your hands. "That one is similar to—Floyd." You hiss out a warning when you feel his hand crawling up your thigh. "We're supposed to be studying, remember?"

He giggles, tracing his finger on the hem of your shorts. "But that's boring, right? Let's have some fun."

"No, Floyd, what if you fail your exam?"

He leans in closer to you. As his lips find yours, he pushes the study table away and your notebook along with it. "I lied to you, you know?"

"There's no calculus exam?" You huff.

"There is~ But I don't need your help to pass." He's toeing the lines you set, nudging your boundaries in his favor. "I just wanted to see your home! And your bed...and maybe you naked on it..."

You don't fight back when his hands are moving up underneath your shirt, only rolling your eyes and muttering under your breath. "This better be good, Floydie. And you better help do my laundry tomorrow."

He laughs again.

Feel my heart beating

I'm just like her or you

People forget I'm human too

Yes, they do that

Vil shouldn't have told you to join the cheer team, and he certainly shouldn't have forced you to wear the cheer uniform in the ungodly colors it has. You give him an unimpressed look, tugging on the edge of your crop top. "I look like a glowing neon sign at the door of a strip club. Or a toxic mushroom. Or a hallucination of someone who's high off Everclear and cocaine." You didn't think anyone would ever be crazy enough to pair traffic cone orange and cyan together, but somehow, the cheerleading outfit proves you wrong.

"It's...atrocious, yes." Vil nods.

You're shocked he has the audacity to agree with you when his cheer outfit is dark blue and cyan, an actually cohesive color combination.

"Ne t'inquiète pas, Y/N. You are beauté!"

You don't want to look at Rook who's sporting a neon green and orange crop top and skirt combo.

"Y'all look ridiculous." Epel drawls in his casualwear, pushing his hands into his hoodie pockets as he looks at the way the three of you are dressed.

You and the rest of the cheer squad are called to the field before the players arrive, performing a few routines to rally the audience. You don't really think you have anything to fear considering your school's football team is the best one in the state (and Floyd's probably left at least one person from each team they've ever played against a healthy dose of trauma), so all your focus is more on trying not to blind yourself whenever you catch a glimpse of Rook from your periphery. As you'd expected, the game is won all too easily with your booty call seemingly in just the right mood, and he runs towards you happily, spinning you around in his arms while your friends watch on in distaste and disappointment.

"Floyd, put me down!"

"Nuh uh, mandarinfish, you look so cute!" He smiles at you as he carries you. You sit on one shoulder and watch him celebrate with his teammates, grinning up at you occasionally. You give up trying to get back down.

"Did you cheer for me?"

In the football team's empty locker room, when everyone else is out in some diner ordering milkshakes as a trophy, you have one leg up Floyd's shoulder as the other one shakily wobbles to try and keep you upright. He's laughing at you but steadying you by the waist, squeezing the skin exposed by the uniform. "So flexible, hm~?"

"Floydie, fuck, stop teasing!"

He drinks in your whimpers and giggles. His hips roll against yours in a fluid, familiar motion, and the thin fabric you're wearing is not enough to stop the feeling.

"If you weren't cheering my name before, I'll make sure you scream it out now, okay?"

This is performance

This is all self defense

I thought you had the sense

To see through that

[Floydie💙: bettafish wer u at]

[Floydie💙: if u come to the party w some other dude istfg]

[Floydie💙: 😠]

Your first Halloween party starts off with a series of angry texts from your friend with benefits (you tell yourself you like him platonically, enough times for it to stick to your head). You chuckle and shoot him back a reply before going back to staring at yourself in the mirror. "I feel like this kind of costume should be illegal." You say to your friends waiting outside the curtain. You don't think white and green underwear with plastic robo wing attachments and silver boots count as a 'costume', much less clothing, but you have to admit that Vil's taste is still impeccable even when it concerns slutty halloween outfits.

It makes you look super fucking hot.

Not that you weren't already, but you're sure if he sees you like this, he'll drag you into an empty room and eat you like a free-for-all buffet. Not that you mind.

"Well? At least come out and show us."

You don't want to annoy the queen bee, so you step outside in your sacrilegious Buzz Lightyear mockup and turn around so they can inspect it. Vil gives an approving nod, Epel claps with an amazed expression on his face, and Rook spouts off some soliloquy about your beauty. You admire their equally slutty halloween fits; Vil dressed as Suicide Squad Margot Robbie's Harley Quinn, Rook looking like a cowboy stripper, and Epel as... why is he dressed in a giant inflatable apple costume? You shake your head and ignore the elephant (epelphant) in the room. "Anyway, this party's not really all that important, but Neige insisted we be there." Vil scoffs. "And he better have his jaw dropped to the floor with how much hotter I am than he is."

That's what he says, but upon pulling up to the party and thirty minutes later, he's less 'preening like a peacock' and more 'getting some cute guy's tongue shoved down so far his throat it probably reaches his esophagus as said cute guy is practically rutting into him in the hallway'. You swear you've never seen this guy in your life, but Rook assures you that Vil knows what he's doing (which you do not doubt) and pushes you along as you try to find Floyd in the sea of illegally drunk high schoolers. You assume a six foot hunk of muscle wouldn't be too hard to find, but you struggle for ten minutes and decide to just give up and text him.

[You: where tf are u]

[Floydie💙: thats what ive been asking dhfjk]

[Floydie💙: did u just get here]

[You: no i was watching vil get it on with some dude]

[Floydie💙: ew gross get ur ass to the second floor first room on the right]

When you get there, you find Floyd in a low effort zombie costume, sitting on the rails of the balcony with his legs swinging. He gives you a smirk and pats the space next to him. "You look real nice. C'mere." You sit next to him, making sure your plastic wings don't accidentally push him off the edge. "Whose house is this anyway? How did they get permission to throw a party this big?" You ask as you lean against his shoulder. His arm wraps around you and pulls you closer to himself. You find your legs swinging in the same pattern as his.

"Some guy."

"Not important?"

"No."

You chuckle at his words. You find him looking up at the stars, so you do the same. "The light pollution in the city's made the sky a little worse." You mumble softly. "In the savanna, the skies were always so clear. You could see every star shining brightly when it's night."

"That sounds real nice."

"It was."

"I wanna see it someday." Floyd hums. "With you."

You close your eyes and push his words out of your mind.

Was I too proud with you?

Was I too cold and forbidding?

And you chose her over me

Are you kidding?

The game's gone on for too long.

Your fuck buddy, somehow, is sitting next to you in the cafeteria. For two weeks now. Azul is at the head of the table, Vil is on the other head, Rook and Epel are on one side while you, Jade, and Floyd sit on the other. They all seem to be getting along well enough, and even Vil, who's always been against your less than stellar taste in men, seemed numb enough to the sight of Floyd practically sprawled over your lap as he nudged another spoon of his homemade lunch against your lips. "Come on, sea star, another bite? Just another one, please, I worked real hard on it for my little sea star, y'know?" You're helpless at the sight of his puppydog eyes and eat what he's offering.

"Yay~"

"This is vomit inducing." You hear Azul mutter under his breath, and to be honest, you might be a little inclined to agree if you didn't enjoy Floyd's company so much. Of course, it doesn't end at one bite. As you've done in the past two weeks, you set aside your bought lunch (that scrappy guy in the volleyball team can handle it) and finish Floyd's bento. You used to feel bad for doing so, but you found out on the first day it happened that he actually brings two bento boxes so that he can feed you before he eats.

"Good sea star, next week you can just not buy lunch!" He pats your head happily, and you nod along.

Have you been too close to Floyd?

You wonder as you walk down the halls, waving and smiling at acquaintances who call out their greetings. You know he's here again when the people around you start to shy away, faces like they've seen a monster. You don't blame them, you know Floyd has a reputation for being rather violent, if not just a straight up bully.

You've just never experienced it.

Not when he's studying with you, going to your cheer practices and screaming your name, chatting with you about random things for hours, bringing you food he'd cooked by himself, giving you little trinkets he said reminded him of you...

Your heart tightens.

He's a better player than you thought.

His arm is wrapped around your shoulder as he chatters your ear off about how he and Jade are going on a hike on the weekend. You listen intently, nodding along all the way to the parking lot. He walks you to your car and even opens the door for you. Your mind blanks when he leans down to kiss you (it's sweet, it's tender, it's so weird but you don't care). You give him a smile and shut the door before driving away.

You have two days where Floyd will be out of town with no reception.

Two days to clear your head.

Two days to reset your boundaries with him.

You wonder if two days are enough to remind yourself the words he'd told you in the beginning of your arrangement.

"Don't go fallin' for me, 'kay? That's boring. I don't like boring. The moment you get boring, I'll drop ya', capiche?"

"What if you fall for me?"

"Hah? Ain'tcha funny? I don't fall."

Right. He doesn't fall. Even if all his actions right now make it seem like you two are dating, it's all a trap. And you like him a little too much to just end it right there. You'd rather be his contractual fling than be that one person who caught feelings in an fwb situation, wouldn't you?

Poor little me

All trapped in this fabulous show

You could set me free

But if you're going, go!

Go! Oh! Oh!

[Floydie💙🥰😚: seashell have you been avoiding me]

You know Floyd's serious when his texts aren't a mess of shortened words.

[You: no??? just been busy w that math comp training]

Your excuse is bulletproof. Sure the nerds in the 'mathletes' team drool over you occasionally, but it's a small price to pay in order to get your head on straight. Two days with no contact wasn't nearly enough. In fact, it only cemented the saying 'absence makes the heart grow fonder'; indeed, when Floyd was gone, you only missed him more and more. You think that one of these days, you might just make a mistake and tell him the truth. But the thing is, Floyd doesn't need your love.

Floyd doesn't want your love.

Instead of stuttering and stumbling about in front of him, you choose to run away from your problems. Whenever you have free time, you cover it up with math training and tutoring in preparation for the competition. When lunchtime rolls around, you tell your friends you need to be eating with your teammates in order to foster a sense of camaraderie and cooperation (bullshit). After school, you tell Floyd he'll only be a distraction if he studies with you, and you really need to study for that math competition.

In short, that math competition has been carrying most of the load of your excuses.

[Floydie💙🥰😚: when i find you im going to shove you in the janitors closet]

[You: thats bullying, floydie]

[Floydie💙🥰😚: nah seashell imma fuck you in there 🙂]

[You: threatening]

[Floydie💙🥰😚: not a threat its a promise]

You hope he doesn't find you, really. If only because you still can't control your stupid heart around him, and every glimpse you catch of him is infinitely expanded in your dreams. You watched him for a little while during volleyball practice, and you had a very shameful dream regarding the volleyball court, an audience, and Floyd pushing you up against the net.

You put your phone down when Professor Crewel calls for your attention.

"There are only three days left until the competition, pups, so I expect all of you to be on your best behavior."

There's also only three days left before the Spring Fling, meaning, you can't attend the formal that has the entire student body buzzing. You voted for Vil as Spring Fling Queen, obviously. And Spring Fling King. He was in both categories so you did as a good friend would do and voted for him in both categories, as well as helping Rook spread the word for everybody else to do the same. You look down at your practice booklet to see Crewel's bright red 'good pup' and a 100 next to it. You'd rather go compete anyway.

Floyd in a suit might just make you melt.

"You're really not going? Not even after the competition?"

In your room, you pinch your phone between your ear and your shoulder as you flip through a textbook. Vil's voice is elegant as ever even through the speakers. "Nope, sorry Vil. You know my situation."

"Oui! We understand, Y/N." Rook chuckles in the group call. "It must be quite difficult being caught like prey in the trap of love, non?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"What didja' say?!"

"Rook!" You hiss out, slamming your book close. "I am no such thing."

"Please, Y/N, you underestimate Rook's perceptiveness." Vil scoffs. "Explain."

You groan. "It's nothing, alright?"

"Non! It is not nothing. Our dear Y/N has fallen madly in love with that Floyd Leech and is now on a mission to erase their feelings in order not to get hurt. Oh, the beauté of amour jeune et douloureux."

"Rook, shut up!"

"Y/N, is it true?"

You purse your lips. It takes you a few seconds to answer. "And if it is?"

"Then you have really bad taste."

"Whatever. Just please, if he ever asks you guys about me, just say I'm in training."

"He has been asking about you."

"What did you say?"

"That you're busy."

You nod and sigh in relief. A message pops up in your screen.

[Floydie💙🥰😚: seashellllll]

[Floydie💙🥰😚: i miss u ☹️]

[You: haha]

You almost send an 'i miss u too'. You don't, though. Because you're smarter than that, aren't you?

[You: i'll see u after the comp ok]

[Floydie💙🥰😚: not if i hunt u down first 😠]

It's fine for you

It's fine to flirt

And God, you're hot

Why do you even wear a shirt?

It's fine!

Damn, you're fine.

Damn, you're mine!

You're really good at this hiding thing.

(Of course you are, or Floyd would've found out about your feelings for him ages ago.)

Three days pass all too easily and he never even catches a whiff of you. You win the ICMT State Final Championship (sponsored by no one), and as you sit in the back of the van with your teammates all rowdy in celebration around you, you take out your phone and take a look at your messages. You're not surprised it's mostly Floyd.

[Floyd: wer u at]

[Floyd: coral]

[Floyd: i thought u wer gonna b at the sf 😐]

[Floyd: is ur stupid comp not done yet or wat]

[Floyd: i cant dance the waltz thing w no partner yk]

[Floyd: like halfway done rn]

[Floyd: r u not seeing my messages coral]

[Floyd: jade just called me lovesick lmao tf does that even mean smh]

[Floyd: can u reply when u get my messages]

[Floyd: pls]

[Floyd: did u win]

[Floyd: go win ok]

[Floyd: do u also think im lovesick]

[Floyd: r u avoiding me cus u think im in love]

[Floyd: if i promise im not will u come back]

[Floyd: what do u want me to say]

[Floyd: im sorry coral 🥺]

[Floyd: it just happened]

[Floyd: pls reply]

[Floyd: i miss u sm]

[Floyd: im sorry]

You hear your heart breaking in your chest.

[You: im not avoiding u]

You walk into the auditorium in your 'Mathletes' shirt and jogging pants, a gold medal around your neck. You look very out of place in the ocean of sparkles and sequins, but Rook quickly waves you over with him and Epel. "The crowning is just about to start, you have incroyable timing!" You watch the nominees on the stage as Crowley reads out a script from a cue card. "And the winner for Spring Fling Queen is... Vil Schoenheit."

You clap along with everyone when the blonde walks onto the stage and gracefully accepts the crown.

"And the winner for Spring Fling King... is also Vil Schoenheit."

Everyone claps louder as Vil chuckles on the stage, placing the other crown on top of the first one. He now has two sashes crossing over each other with two large bouquets in his hands. The principal cancels the 'King and Queen first dance' portion and invites everyone to waltz. Even as you stick by Rook and Epel's sides, you can feel a familiar gaze on you following you through the dance floor.

"Y/N."

It's Jade.

"Hi. What's up?"

"My brother has been quite, hm, mopey, lately. Would you happen to know anything about that?" You shrug.

He doesn't seem to believe you, and his smile doesn't reach his eyes. You swear his entire aura darkens when he speaks again. "I really do like you Y/N, you've made my brother so happy, and he's always such a joyful figure whenever I see him cooking for you in the kitchen. However, he's been quite distraught as of late, with neither appetite nor cheer since you've begun avoiding him in the name of your competition. Now that said competition is over, congratulations by the way, it is in your best interest to talk your problems out with Floyd, wouldn't you agree?"

People always said Floyd was scarier. You wonder if you can record Jade as he is right now as evidence to disagree.

"Jade, we don't have problems, okay? Floyd and I just want different things." You take a small step back with both arms raised up. "I'm just respecting his boundaries."

"Is that so? Then pray tell, what is it that you want from Floyd that you believe he disagrees with?" He tilts his head, grinning toothily. "Is it that you only wish to remain in your contractual physical relationship? Even so, you could at least reject him outright, yes? What good would it do either of you if the only thing you do is run?"

"No! It's the opposite. He doesn't want an actual relationship. That's what he said. He said if I fall for him then it's over and Jade, I don't..." You gingerly tug at his sleeve, forcing your tears back. "I don't want to lose him. If the only way I can have him is by having a no-strings attached kind of thing, then that's fine. I'll talk to him again, just, when I've finally settled my feelings, okay? Please."

He looks shocked by your words.

Jade sighs and plops you over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. You don't struggle (because it's pointless), and no one in the crowd bats an eye (Floyd may be seen as scarier, but that didn't mean Jade was weak or angelic). He deposits you to the door of the parking lot and heads back inside the party, waving you off with a few more words. "He's at his usual spot, probably whining to the moon about you. Do fix him up for me."

And it's fine!

'Till someone gets...

Hurt! Hurt!

'Till someone gets hurt!

It feels like a walk of shame when you head towards Floyd's favorite parking spot. You're pretty sure it was supposed to be for faculty members only, but you don't believe that principal Crowley has any sort of dignity left for him not to sell a faculty parking space to a well paying student (you don't want to know what the Leech parents do, not now at least). You spot him easy, laid down on the top of his jeep in a crisp suit and tie that looked like it was ironed right onto his body. He's murmuring things you can't understand, but you really don't believe that he's 'whining about you to the moon', as his twin had claimed.

You knock on the side of the car.

When he looks over at you, you give him a smile and reach your hand towards him. "Get me up, Floydie?" With his help, you climb onto the roof and sit down next to him. He's staring at the stars again, but he's never let your hand go even once.

"Why were you avoiding me?"

"I wasn't avoiding you."

"Stop lyin'."

You purse your lips. You're never sure what to do in moments like this, when he sheds all his playful mischief. He seems like a completely different person. Not bad. Just so... different. And he doesn't seem mad (you'd have an easier time if he was), but the conflicting feelings swirling within his skin escape through him and taint you too. You do what you're used to doing with him; get physical. You turn to straddle his lap and lean in closer to him. Your legs are propped up on either side of his own as he leans back on his arms, palms flat on the roof the two of you are sitting on.

Your fingers grip onto his tie, lightly tugging. "Floyd." You barely acknowledge one of his hands resting on the back of your thigh. "I've just been so confused lately. I want you in so many ways and what we have right now? It just doesn't cut it anymore. So tell me off, okay? Tell me you want me to leave. But if you want me to stay then, tell me that you like me. Tell me that you want me. Tell me you love me."

Will he say the words?

Probably not.

This on and off situationship leaves no room for genuine feelings between the both of you. But you make it clear to yourself that this is last time. He can't play with you any longer, and you won't toy with him anymore. And if he doesn't say what you want to hear, then you'll let him go. It's so easy you can't believe you didn't do it forever ago. You keep your eyes trained on his mismatched ones of gold and olive and, even though you know he'll let you down, your heart pitter patters in a rhythm you've heard before. Floyd seems to be thinking your words over as his thumb rubs small circles into the cloth of your pants. You wonder if he's taking this as seriously as you are. Can he see a life with you? Does the thought of settling down bore him?

You can't think about it. If you do, you lose.

Force yourself up into the higher position and gain the upper hand, because the man in front of you is a vulture circling overhead for signs of weakness. If he finds it, he might just tear you apart. "Y/N." There's an unprecedentedly serious look on his face as his slanted eyes bore into you like they're picking you apart and deciding which pieces of you are worthy of keeping. "The moon looks beautiful tonight, doesn't it?"

You laugh.

So many months of pining and hopeless romance-ing has lead to this. You don't hear what you want.

But it's practically the same thing.

It feels rather anticlimactic. But he's swallowed his pride and admitted his mistake, at least, in your eyes. And if this is the closest you can get to him, the closest he'll let you get to him, then it'll do for now.

"Floyd."

You tug him by his tie until his lips are brushing against your own.

"It's the most beautiful moon I've ever seen."

#disney twisted wonderland #disney twst #twisted wonderland #gender neutral reader #x reader #twst x reader #floyd leech x reader #floyd x reader #floyd leech

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villainbait · 1 month ago

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Unexpected Inspiration

Pairing: Rafayel x reader Rating: E | Explicit | 18+ Tags: stalking, flirting, obsessive behavior, obsession, fantasizing, fantasy bondage, implied non-con Summary: Even though you’re not her, it would be all too easy and Rafayel plans to take full advantage of the situation. However, you don't play along quite like he planned. Word Count: 700~

A/N: I saw someone posting headcanons about rafayel stalking MC and it gave me an idea. This is just sort of me studying his psyche in a different way that's a bit darker. Hope you enjoy and thank you for reading. ♥

“I know, I know.” Rafayel whines, his lower lip jutting out even though the person on the other end of the line couldn’t see it. “I said I know, alright? I’ll stay away from her until the time is right like I promised. Don’t be such a killjoy.”

He was standing outside the art shop, debating whether or not he wanted to paint. Everything had seemed so dull lately after seeing her on campus and he was desperate for anything to catch his eye. In fact, he had replayed the glimpse of her so much he was starting to hallucinate as he watched you hurry towards him before turning sharply and entering into the shop. Fate had never been that kind, but today she was cruel.

“Gotta go.” He hangs up the phone abruptly and follows you into the art shop, brushing his bangs from his eyes with a practiced gesture.

You weren’t her and a pang of disappointment shot through his gut. Yet, you looked so much like her that the two of you could've been sisters in this lifetime. As he followed you around the modest paint shop, he realizes that it has been hard for him to stay away from her and you…well, you came along at the perfect time.

It was all too easy.

You were looking at canvas options when he approached and asked what it was you wanted to paint. He could tell you thought he was attractive, but that was to be expected and he was unimpressed by your compliments. Though you shrugged off his casual touch, surely you were just shy. He made you laugh and could tell you were enjoying the unexpected interruption.

However, after some flirting and fun banter he thought you’d be an easy mark.

But you just left.

That bothered him. That irked him. He was put out by your soft rejection and easy dismissal.

So he followed you, intending to soothe his injured pride, but something in the way you interacted with this cold, insipid world stopped him. He watched as you knelt to gently touch the petal of a flower growing in one of the many planters along the street, half-expecting you to pluck it. When you merely appreciated its violet beauty with the soft stroke of your finger before moving on, Rafayel hung back and found himself curious about a human for the first time in a long time.

Rafayel was curious about you.

Rafayel dogs your steps over the next week and hits the jackpot, finding that you live in a quaint but cozy condo by the sea. He finds his thoughts dipping into dangerous territory, but he can’t seem to stop. In those brief moments he heard your voice over the last week, he couldn’t stop from imagining how you would sound writhing in pleasure underneath him. Would your cries be just as sweet?

He slides his thumb idly across his lower lip just thinking about how you’d taste. How would you sound begging, desperate for release that he would continue to deny you? The mere thought of seeing you cry because of him made him more aroused than he’d been in at least a century. He knew you’d look so pretty all sprawled out and clinging to him, reduced to a needy mess that couldn’t even remember her name.

The thought of you being tied up and helpless almost undid him as he leaned against the lamp post adjacent to your building entrance. Rafayel wondered what hues your pretty skin would turn once he unraveled you. Would your skin look mottled, an echoing pattern reminiscent of the foamy sea or would you simply flush a darker vermilion hue? How brilliantly those colors might translate to a canvas once he was done using your body as one.

Feeling inspired, Rafayel continues to wait outside of your building, casually soaking in the waning sunlight and waiting to catch glimpses of you inside your apartment. For a while, he admires the way you set up your canvas on the balcony, preparing your paints with practiced ease before you finally sit down to stare out at the sea.

He couldn’t clearly make out your expression from where he stood on the street, but the very fact you seemed to long for the same sea as he did made him want you with a sudden aching desperation. Rafayel had to have you. His mind made up, he saunters across the street, whistling a soft tune.

There was no other way for this to end now.

#no beta please don't bully me #rafayel #rafayel love and deepspace #lnds rafayel #lads rafayel #rafayel x reader #rafayel x you #rafayel l&ds #love and deepspace rafayel #love and deepspace #love and deepspace fanfiction #fanfiction #rafayel fanfiction #rafayel fanfic #rafayel fic #loveanddeepspace #rafayel drabble

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discluded · 2 years ago

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Build Jakapan, Daemi's Poi, and other individuals stepping forward

I like my peace, but this situation is very serious and deserves to be documented clearly for the international/English-speaking fanbase, which was my original goal of archivism on Tumblr. Some of the posts have already been deleted and others will be washed away with the sands of Twitter time.

Please do not talk about this in terms of "drama" or "tea" because that does a disservice to the victims and people here on Tumblr who may have lived through these experiences watching you treat their trauma like nonsense.

I have no stake in this and do not claim to know the full truth. However, rather than seeing everyone vague about what's happening, I want to provide an account of what people on Twitter are seeing above the noise. I will try to keep this post updated with important developments when appropriate.

My only ask is please don't comment to my inbox about this post. I understand your anger and hurt, but I need to take care of my own well-being. Make a dummy account if you want to talk about it; I will not censor the comments section of post as long as you are reasonable and not victim-blaming.

Finally, please be kind to each other, including Pond (as long as he is doing the right thing) and [Jan 23 update: lmfao fuck Pond] the other actors in BOC given that Poi specifically said she hid this from the cast, and also especially fans who loved Build and were blindsided. There is no "deserved" to be upset, people who invest their love and free time into something are allowed to be hurt... the only thing that matters about a person's integrity is how they choose to act with this information.

tw: domestic violence, intimate partner violence, abuse, threats, photos of bruises, rape, miscarriage

On approximately Jan 19 2022, right after the BOC line-up announcement), Daemi announced they would be breaking up as a writing duo, which prompted fans to speculate about the future of Kinnporsche season 2. Daemi as a writing duo is made up of two members: Yok and Poi.

In the next day or so, Poi insinuated that Build had stolen the idea for 4 Minutes from her and given it to Sammon, who then helped cut her [Poi] out of involvement in the new series. Build responded to this by publicly crying and issuing a statement, going above BOC's management. Pond was with Mile in Pairis at the time/flying home and responded to Instagram comments that they would investigate fully before issuing a statement.

Approximately the next day, on Jan 22 2022 local time, Poi came out with a statement and chat logs with proof that she used to be in a relationship with Build, and he had cheated on her, financially manipulated her, physically abused her, and threatened to kill her.

The original translator is a ManUtd fan and had no involvement in the fandom but took the time to do the translation since it was blowing up on Thai twitter and known fandom translators were not doing them. They then deleted those tweets after being harassed by Build's fans, but has continued to tweet about the situation.

(please click on the image for the full translation of the chat, I stacked them to save space)

Here is an additional Thai summary of Poi's claims and an english translation of that.

Some people noted that in the original IGS where Poi references this abuse on approximately Jan 19, she used stock images from Pinterest. Those claims included that she had a miscarriage due to the fact he had hit her so hard. Poi again confirmed that she had a miscarriage and noted she had hospital documents to back up her claim. She also addressed the comment that she used stock images due to the fact that Instagram is a visual social media.

Poi also confirmed that the legal process was already started. Given her history with the BOC cast, she might have also felt the need to get the story out of accusations of her lying and starting "drama" about the situation by posting her chat logs and photos.

Subsequently, Build shared messages that Poi had sent him regarding a situation with a sponsor in an attempt to make her look like a "crazy" woman, but incriminated himself and deactivated on Jan 22 2022 (possibly temporarily).

During this time, additional people came forward about being a victim of Build. One Thai fan came forward about knowing another of Build's former girlfriends, who was the victim of gang rape. However, the OP is getting permission from this individual to tell the story first and so the story may not be released to the public. Update Feb 10: Most likely false. (leaving text here for honesty that this rumor existed and debunked)

Another one of Build's ex-girlfriends, who was previously silenced and shamed by his fans, confirmed again that she was physically assaulted by Build 8 years ago.

I will not add the tweets with evidence of Build cheating on Poi/involvement with other women while supposedly dating one of them as while cheating on a partner is bad, it is a personal indiscretion and not a crime unlike the situations highlighted above.

As for the fact that both authors in Daemi sexually harassed other actors in KPTS, I am not excusing those actions. People, notably WOMEN, should not have to be perfect victims to be believed. You don't have to like Poi or approve of her past actions to think she does not deserve to be abused.

Additionally, if you believe that Poi's past actions are indicative of her character, I want to clarify why people were upset with him in summer 2022 since that was not documented on Tumblr either. Having bad opinions online is not a crime, but they do show a pattern of behavior from him from attitudes to actions. Build's comments/attitudes from that situation are consistent with his abuser behavior that is documented above. (1) (2) (3) (4)

Any additional documentation from past victims will be a link to the reblog since I will run out of image space on Tumblr. I will not document things like BOC suspending Build for the time being since those are widely seen and have an English translation.

Final update update as of Feb 10, 2023: Updated on the false allegations about rape and this being debunked since it's important. Please do not ask me for updates about him; I don't care about him, he makes me miserable, people whose careers I do care about don't have to deal with him anymore. Please do not make me responsible for your mental health.

Jan 28, 2023: Build has left BOC. At this point, there's nothing else I can provide as context in English that will change people's minds so let's respect that this will be processed in a court like it should have been in the first place. Take care of yourselves friends.

Final notes: Genuinely fuck Pond.

Jan 25 2023: link to the latest post with evidence from Poi and Mynk

Jan 23 2023: Kind anonymous provided IDs which have been added. Clarified position on Pond, with link to latest comment. I have more posts with translations from Thai twitter and will update another day.

Please take care of yourselves and your mental health. 🙏

#build jakapan #build jakapan puttha #kinnporsche #kinnporsche the series #kpts #kinnporsche cast #tw domestic violence #tw dv #tw abuse #tw rape #tw miscarriage #tw bruises #tw threats #thank you to anon for IDs #be on cloud

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fandomfluffandfuck · 8 months ago

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TELL ME ABOUT THE SHOES!!!

related to this

Okay, okay, okay, first, I have to mention that every day I drive home from college, I drive past two different sex shops and one strip club and one of these sex shops has an LED sign that advertises a bunch of different spicy stuff, and the other day they had one word up--

Shoes

And upon reading that, I was hit over the back of the head with the first shoe-related thought I have that relates to fandom:

You always want what you can't have

Bucky mentioning in Captain America: Civil War how Steve used to wear newspapers in his shoes speaks to me about the depression, how he must've had beat up, worn out, hand-me-down shoes with newspapers stuffed in them to make them fit better, to make them warmer in the winter, to try and at least make them feel like there weren't holes in the bottoms of them. Steve drawing here and there throughout the Captain America movies--drawing himself as a dancing monkey, sketching buildings--makes me think of his artistic eye. An artistic eye that we see beyond drawing, with his comments about Stark Tower being big and ugly, plus, similarly with, according to Steve, the ugly brown van they use to save the world. Both Bucky's comment of the way things used to be and Steve's appreciation for aesthetic makes me imagine that Steve could gravitate toward shoes. Pretty, slim "women's shoes," as well as generally shiny, bulky "men's shoes."

The first time he notices shoes is early, when he watches his Ma slip into her Sunday best heels. Her stockings might be laddered and torn because she doesn't have enough pairs to have a special Sunday pair--she needs to use all the ones she has when she's nursing, dealing with all sorts of untold grossities at work, often throwing them out--but this pair of shoes look brand new. She takes good care of them, so much so that Steve's not allowed to touch them. Her Sunday best heels are hardly scuffed or creased because she never wears them to work or anything, just to church. They're pretty and special, and on the way, she's always careful, not stepping in puddles, on cracks, or anything.

The way his Ma treats her Sunday best shoes makes Steve investigate during church, more interested in eyeing all the other special shoes than listening to the preaching that Sunday, peering over the open Bible his Ma holds out in front of him. He's cataloging all the differences between the men's and women's shoes. Both kinds are shiny, but women's shoes are especially so. Angular and polished and bright, often with tiny details that men's shoes don't get the luxury of having--tiny buckles, little bows, patterns pressed into or cut out of the leather, etc. Women's shoes are so delicate, clicking across the floor while men's land much heavier, more of a clunk. A thunk even.

As soon as he's drawing, his interest translates there, too. It's the shine, reflective and glinting, every crease exemplified; the angles, shapely and precise; the colors, usually more muted but occasionally very bright and attention grabbing, either way, they're always saturated. It's fascinating to draw shoes. The lines are so clean that it's easy to make a mistake. And it's so challenging to capture the way the positioning of the shoes changes the shape of the whole thing! But that's what makes it interesting. Every angle holds new details. Steve discovers quickly that he can tell stories through shoes, too... where the creases are and how many there are, scuffs, rough leather, loose threads, color bright and bold or not, the angle he draws the shoes from, too--looking down at them from where he stands, lying on his belly and sketching straight on, detailing the bottoms--there are endless possibilities.

But, as Steve gets older and the more it sits in his head, the more it becomes something deeper until it's something beyond a passive, special interest. Beyond somewhere where his eyes always go when he meets someone new--glancing at their footwear just to see. It becomes something of desire.

Desired because of how forbidden it is. Women's shoes are for girls. Steve isn't a girl. He can't have them. He wasn't allowed to touch them. He's still not allowed to touch them.

There is a desire for men's shoes, too, but he knows men's shoes. He appreciates the sound of a big, tall man walking down an alleyway by the hidden bars around their run-down cold water walk-up with the swaggering thunk thunk thunk of their boots on the street. He does like that. Something about it makes shivers crawl up his crooked spine. But, he knows them. Bucky wears work boots. They live in a heap next to their front door. Plus, Steve has his own shoes. Men's shoes are familiar.

Steve buries his desire for men's shoes deeper, for whatever reason. It has nothing to do with internalized homophobia, no, why do you ask?

Women's shoes, though...

They're forbidden and unknown. The closest Steve's gotten to fancy, truly bright, and angular ladies' shoes (outside of staring at them through shop windows) was when Bucky brought home a blonde dame--Steve never got her name, she just came and left once--with a rich Daddy. Her shoes were kicked off by the door when Steve got home, sitting fallen over next to Bucky's heavy boots. Steve's heart pounded unevenly in his thin chest, just seeing them together. Darting between the shoes. The contrast.

(That dame must've been short, too, like Steve. Her shoes were so little, especially next to Bucky's. By the looks of it, they might even fit Steve. Maybe. He wouldn't dare touch them, though, not even to straight them in the way he grumbles but organizes Bucky's footwear.)

The second time Steve really comes close to the off-limit territory of women's shoes is after the serum, dragging through the USO Tour with all the chorus girls. Their glittery, flashy, short, and bright uniforms. Meant to attract, so can Steve be blamed? Because suddenly, it seems like Steve can't go ten feet without tripping over one of the girls' pairs of shiny, bright, tall heels.

Once, just once, one of the gals leaves her heels behind. She's going back home, her service done with, so...

With his heart pounding strongly in his broad chest, practically echoing through it, he swears, Steve grabs them. Hastily stuffing them under his trench coat and wisking them back to his private tent--the luxury of being a technical captain.

Alone and in private, Steve knows just looking at them, understanding space strangely well these days, that they're too small for his feet. Even if they weren't too small, Steve is sure he couldn't bear to try them on. Not here. What would he do anyway? He's never thought past getting his hands on ladies' shoes. He couldn't walk with them on. Could he? No. He would be scared of someone hearing the click click click. And he couldn't... he doesn't have anyone to... show?

So, what would be the point?

There isn't one. And Steve doesn't even try to put them on. Instead, he sets one of the pair of the heels in his lap. Cradling it, the shoe is a lot lighter than he expected it to be. The material is much thinner than he thought even though he's drawn shoes a ton. He's studied them. And he studies them again now, up-close and personal, just... looking.

He just holds it.

Without realizing it, he starts to subconsciously stroke the shiny, patriotic-colored leather. It's so smooth. It's cold to start, but quickly, it isn't anymore, warming up to him. The heel isn't as sharp on the edges as he would've thought, but it's not too soft, either.

He's more familiar, having it in his hold, but they're still exciting. Fascinating. Interesting. No matter how often he sneaks away to hold one or both of the stolen shoes in his hands, they're still so different.

They're special.

Steve loses the pair when he walks to Austria. He's not sure what happened to them, and he's afraid to ask. Did someone find them? If they did, what did they think? At worst, they probably just thought Steve spent the night with one of the chorus gals, right? They wouldn't know about... about what Steve did? (And what did he do? He just held them!?) He can't stop thinking about them, though. His hands are so calloused these days, and all his shirts are grimy and coming apart at the seams, holes everywhere, and wouldn't it just be nice to touch something smooth?

Bucky sees through him and asks him what he's missing, but he falls before Steve can say it out loud. So, the secret dies with him.

Steve doesn't let himself think about something so soft and delicate when he wakes up. He can't stomach it.

Eventually

Bucky is back.

Steve has Bucky back.

And they're both trying to heal.

Healing takes many shapes... including, apparently, the shape of a sleek, biege box with a looping, white font delivered to their front door, which contains rich, red, and shimmering tissue paper, fragile and weightless, and a pair of matching, shiny black heels with blood red bottoms.

Steve doesn't even want to know what they cost Bucky. He vaguely grasps the pop culture knowledge to understand how infamous heels like these are, how expensive they are, and he's not dumb enough to miss all the details, thoughtfulness, and exorbitant materials. Shockingly, they have money now, existing somewhere, acrewing in a bank account that feels like it belongs to someone else entirely, and between the two of them, Steve is the one who doesn't know what to do with it. Bucky knows.

Bucky knows.

Bucky bought him a pair of heels, not so bright, save for the bottoms, but still delicate and shiny and alluring. The shoes feel more like Bucky's style than Steve's and... Steve likes that. He likes that Bucky chose them, he likes that he wants to see him in them, and he likes that they're here.

Steve's almost afraid to put the shoes on, his thumbs rubbing back and forth across the smooth, perfect surface. He's not even sure if he wants to put them on or not. He's only ever drawn or held shoes like these. He's not put them on. Does he want to cross that line? Is that even a line? After all the things he's done, is this even daring?

What if it's not special? What if it's not as good as he wants it to be? Does he want it to be good? What's good?

Should he put them on?

Steve's head is so full of questions that he can't do anything but stand there, a contemplative statue; Steve's supposed to be brave and daring, but there are moments where even he's allowed to hesitate.

Right?

Bucky isn't so hesitant. He knows his best guy is going to look killer in those heels, and he knows whatever Steve has built this up to be in his head... it'll be fine. He just has to let go and do it.

With some convincing and a few charming grins, Steve puts the red bottomed heels on and...

It's good.

It's better than he imagined.

While he's wearing them--falling apart at the seams and succumbing weakly to the fever raging through him--Bucky fucks him hard. Deep and good. Leaving Steve unable to hold back the ah, ah, ahs that pour out from inside him and causing him to put bruises, dents really, in Bucky's back with how tight his legs are wrapped around his stocky waist. He can't. Bucky's dick hits his prostate again and again. Oh, god. It's making him so weak--his dick always does. It forces Steve's brains to melt out of his ears, struck stupid with his lips falling open, bright red and wet.

With another hammering, ah, ah, ah, dick carving so deep in him, sparking and hot, desire courses through Steve so strongly that his toes curl until the soles of his feet cramp. As his toes curl, it forces the shiny heels to slip off of his feet just as he crashes through his orgasm. His moans pitching higher--shattering suddenly, shaking apart with the pleasure coursing through him.

Bucky is merciful enough to fuck him through his orgasm, leaving him a whimpering, shaking mess, all too docile and sweet, but he doesn't say merciful. He's awful. Terrible. Evil because he's slowing his hips to a filthy, deep grind. It's slow enough to have Steve's gasping, his body electric and white-hot, making him go haywire and stay achingly hard. He doesn't do anything about it, though. He doesn't reach to jack him off or touch him or do anything but--

Bucky spares one hand to grab the shoe from where it landed haphazardly on their ruffled bed before sliding it back onto Steve's foot after using his strength to uncurl his leg from around his waist, straightening his leg so the back of his knee is at Bucky's shoulder, all so he can put the stray heel back onto him.

He's so flexible.

The position makes Bucky's cock get in deeper.

AH!

Fuck, Bucky is treating him like he's delicate and cute, kissing the thick curves of his muscles and making sure nothing is out of place as he worships him, fucking him like he isn't soft or delicate or nothing. It's like he's being fucking out to make sure Steve's heated draw to heels is even worse after this!

Also, secondly, I keep thinking about:

You wear your devotion on your sleeve

By the time Steve gets to the front and gets to Bucky, pulling him from the jaws of Hell, dangling above its throat, on the cusp of being swallowed, Steve is fucking sick of...

Everything?

He's sick of being in a body that doesn't fit. Chronic illnesses first. A lifetime of rasping lungs and fatigue that follows him like a shadow, always growing taller and longer with the ever slowing dip of the sun in the sky. Then. This. Whatever this is. A body that attracts attention, eyes always dragging over his form, never leaving him alone when before no one would ever even glance his way. He was invisible and agonized; now, he's in the spotlight and burning up.

Something in him yearns to be small again.

The only refuge he finds for that is at Bucky's feet.

He finds the feeling of being small yet respected, taking up no space at all but still being seen and heard, at Bucky's feet while he's shining his boots. He knows how much appearance matters to Bucky. His hair is always done just so, even in the middle of the rain and wind and wilderness. He's always freshly shaven, no matter if there's running water nearby or not. And his boots are always shining, never mud caked like all the others.

So, when Bucky ended up with bruises shading his ribs, barely able to sit up, let alone bend over or breathe as good as he should be able to...

It's only natural that Steve offers to shine his boots for inspection for him.

At first, honestly, it's terrible. He's holding Bucky's leg as delicately as he possibly can, scared to even slightly squeeze him too hard and leave more bruises or, god forbid, break his bones, but Bucky won't have it. Bucky tugs on his hair, shaking his head to get the point across, making sure he's looking up at him before he assures him he won't hurt him. He can't. He needn't hold him so delicately, and, c'mon, if his boots are gonna be clean, he needs to put some more muscle behind it. A smile cracks across his face, and, suddenly, it's all good.

It's great.

It's so fucking nice to be staring up at his familiar face and be small and--

How does Bucky convince him to wrap himself around his leg and grind against his newly polished boots until he's messing them up, so he has to lick them clean again? 😮‍💨😮‍💨

(I wanted this to be longer, but I don't have the time right now, ughh)

#asks #fandomfluffandfuck #bucky barnes #steve rogers #stucky

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that-cartoony-villain · 4 months ago

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i have some thoughts after the first ep of downfall

i really like that they have the deities disguised as human trying to shut down aeor and the beginning with their possible creation and light vs darkness was incredible

but as much as i think the binary message was a cool little touch to make it easier to figure out which gods they are, i kinda wish they didn't do that

for people that dont know exandrias pantheon, seeing those words kind of dont mean anything to them because they wouldnt know what each god is a deity of

but at the same time for critters who know the lore it became very easy to figure out who is whom by the hints the cast and brennan were throwing around without them saying like "oh hi I'm [blank] god"

the raven queen was the easiest solely because we've had more time with her in c1 and other campaigns too since death is kind of inevitable

dawnfather was a slow build and then very much you couldnt ignore that it was him once nick said "it's not dark" like the little mf that pelor is /pos

melora was also fun to figure out because animals are her thing and then she got the most upset when erathis didnt show up like the yearning little lesbian that she is

arch heart was also a slow build up to figure out, they needed to be rigid and play their part so the others could get on board, they couldnt stop themselves of visiting the city of creation, they see beauty everywhere, they're just as much of a little shit as i imagined they would be also /pos

law bearer's envoy (champion?) was easy to figure out because of meloras reaction and also for The Emissary's lines about helping civilization, he was sent to be their salvation, maybe she knows it's inevitable for the city to fall and wants to preserve as much as she can (he might be the one to send out the blue bubbles who knows)

and then we have the everlight, at first i thought ashley was playing ioun, the husband talked about her being a teacher but then you have these subtleties in their lines - asmodeus talking about her not having followers, the dawnfather's care for his sister, her compassion - and everything made sense, even her light being name Luz is just Light translated from some romance languages

then we have the npcs: ioun was easy enough to figure out from the get go, brennan was also very explicit about who she is, and the betrayers were very fun to figure out, we don't have all the knowledge about them all but asmodeus, the father of lies, choosing to be Father Milo and a cleric of the Dawnfather just to fuck with him is an incredible choice, Torog being the torturer but also the most tortured and fucked up looking is such beautiful imagery, and the other two we don't have that much but i assume the halfling is Lolth, since she enjoys the darkest corners and climbing things, while the other one might be Tiamat, just cause it makes sense for me that she would be a heavy hitter

this is all to say that brennan and the cast did a wonderful job in this first ep with the imagery and subtle (and not so subtle) references to each character in a way that fans can figure out who is each person and newcomers can learn their personalities slowly and figure out the dynamics with the time we get to see

because we need to remember, this is bells hells watching this, and many of them have no knowledge about the gods beside a few that they've met their champions, fcg followed the changebringer, orym, fearne and dorian have met the wildmother and the spider queen, laudna has some connection to the matron and they now met a champion and a follower of asmodeus, both of which they havent asked much about the prince of hell

this is as much for them to meet the deities as it is for us to see the downfall of one of the most important cities in the Age of Arcanum

#critical role #critical role spoilers #cr c3 #nevermind me just watching critrole #i didnt see what the binary meant until break so it was really fun to see that moment with the gnome woman weeping cause of the dawnfather #anyway the cast is doing amazing and im loving the dynamics of the gods bickering and fighting and agreeing and disagreeing #downfall #downfall spoilers

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midnight-blue-goth · 1 month ago

Note

Do you think Gwen was the better girlfriend for Duncan than Courtney?

Oops, sorry for late answer. But here it is! Remember, this is my opinion.

This is a tough question because it really depends on how we define "better." Both Gwen and Courtney have their own unique ways of expressing love, and it’s important to acknowledge that all three—Duncan, Gwen, and Courtney—have been hurt in different ways, whether physically or emotionally, during their relationships. I wouldn’t say one is definitively better than the other, but they express love in vastly different ways.

Courtney’s Love for Duncan: Courtney's love seemed rooted in wanting to “improve” Duncan. Her idea of love appears to be: “I can help you become a better version of yourself.” This mindset is evident in her behavior—especially in All-Stars, where she acknowledges she has a “type,” which are people she believes need “fixing.” I don’t think Courtney saw her behavior as controlling or out of line; it likely stems from how she was raised, though we don’t have much background on her family life to know for sure.

Rejecting her attempts to “fix” someone would hurt her deeply because, for Courtney, that rejection likely translates to a lack of trust or love. This could explain why, despite everything that happened between them (like the TDA contract fiasco), she repeated her pattern of making lists to change Duncan. To her, this may be a valid expression of love. I sometimes wonder if, subconsciously, she seeks out people who need the most "fixing" because it boosts her pride when she can claim she’s “saved” or improved them. It’s like she views fixing someone as a trophy, a badge of honor she can show off.

One big challenge for Courtney is that she tends to put her pride and reputation above everything else, including relationships. While that might work for her personally, it does have consequences—like a lack of close friendships or support when things go wrong. Did she end up with any friendship at the end of the show? Whether she’s aware of how her actions come across is up for debate, as we mostly see her in competitive situations, not everyday life.

I wish we could see her outside of any romantic relationship because she doesn’t need one right now. Especially not with someone like Duncan, who, no matter the situation, seems to pull her down.

I truly believe she’s better off alone, focusing on building meaningful friendships and growing as an individual. But unfortunately, it feels like we’ve missed that chance.

Gwen’s Love for Duncan: Gwen’s relationship with Duncan feels a little less complicated, but not without its challenges. I don’t think Gwen was necessarily a “better” girlfriend than Courtney—she just loved differently.

After being cast on the Villainous team, she became hyper-aware of how she was being perceived. That shift likely triggered her need to be seen as “good,” which might explain why she distanced herself from Duncan. By that point, their relationship represented the very thing she wanted to avoid—being perceived as bad.

While I don’t fault Gwen for stepping back, I do think it would’ve been better if she and Duncan had some kind of closure or a more meaningful conversation about their relationship. It felt like a loose end, considering how much she fought for that relationship in the previous season.

I guess that's something left for fanfiction, lol.

But more importantly:

Duncan’s Role: Ultimately, being Duncan’s girlfriend is highly circumstantial. His mood, his level of emotional investment, and the loyalty of the other person all play a huge role. We know he values loyalty (even though there’s some irony there, given his actions in TDWT). He also craves freedom and doesn’t want to feel restrained. A partner who can meet him with the same level of affection and loyalty without trying to “control” him seems to be key for him. If he feels any of these needs are neglected, he would dip out of the relationship—no questions asked.

But that’s not all:

I’ve got a pretty dark theory about why Duncan seems drawn to difficult, even physically violent, romantic relationships. It’s not just about Courtney, either. Remember when he was literally wrestling an alligator and said, “I’ve had tougher girlfriends than him, and uglier.” That line hints at him being used to dating people with aggressive or combative behavior.

My theory is that Duncan is unconsciously seeking out girlfriends who remind him of his father—especially the controlling aspects of their relationship. His dad being a cop probably meant Duncan grew up with a strict, authoritative figure constantly trying to control or “fix” him. In this sense, Duncan’s relationships could be a way for him to relive or rebel against that dynamic. It’s almost as if he’s continuing the fight he had with his father but through his romantic partners, engaging in a kind of resistance that mirrors his rebellion.

Gwen as an Exception:

Gwen doesn’t fit into the violent, combative dynamic that Duncan seems to be drawn to, and this is where my theory takes a different turn. With Gwen, Duncan may have found something new—someone who wasn’t trying to control him but also wasn’t afraid to accept him as he was. Their relationship feels more introspective than confrontational, very different from the clashes he had with Courtney. Instead, it’s centered on emotional vulnerability.

This might be why some people found their relationship “boring”—it wasn’t meant to be an explosive drama. Instead, it quietly opened up the softer, more vulnerable sides of both of them, and I can’t emphasize this enough: We are not meant to see them. Us watching them feels like an invasion of privacy (which is, again, ironic given how their romance started)

This sense of privacy also explains their disdain for Sierra, despite her being supportive of their relationship. For Gwen and Duncan, their relationship was personal, their own business, and they hated the idea of someone else prying into it.

If given more time, their relationship could have revealed a different side of Duncan. It would’ve been fascinating to see him lower his defenses even more, showing how a relationship built on mutual understanding could shape his character. We had a little bit in TDAS, Episode 3. Saving her from the leech, without any reservation.

We’d already seen the endless downward spiral of his conflict-based romances over two seasons. This one had the potential to break that cycle, offering something deeper and more meaningful for both of them.

–

Uhm.. conclusion? I’d say: Miscommunication and trauma response, all around. See you in AO3 🤙

#td duncan #td gwen #td courtney #total drama #total drama island #duncan total drama #gwen total drama #mine #anon answered #courtney total drama #td gwuncan #td duncney #gwuncan #td rant

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charleslee-valentine · 11 months ago

Text

For The Texas Chainsaw Fanworks Event Day 1: Favorite Ship

Ship(s): Franklin Hardesty x Nubbins Sawyer, past Drayton Sawyer x Lefty Enright.

Word count: ~3,800

Warnings: child abuse mention, ableism mention, tense family dynamics.

@texas-chainsaw-fanworks

______

Franklins been at the house for all of ten minutes before a hefty, but docile raccoon gets dumped into his lap.

The Sawyer boys keep her as a pet, since they aren’t allowed any dogs after the last one raided the chicken coop of all the hens and had to be sold off. The worst their raccoon has done is chew through the wall paper, but since it’s already peeling off, that couldn’t be used against her.

Besides, she’s lazy and more than a little overweight after a few long years of getting her sustenance from table scraps, candy, and lots and lots of berries from the bushes out back. Sending her back out into the wild now wouldn’t be any bit kinder than keeping her safe and pampered.

Franklin’s well used to her being around all the time, but it’s only recently he’s started being allowed to hold her. Most of the time without any input from himself, since Nubbins just drops her down onto his lap without any warning.

Like right now, with the raccoon all curled up on him like he’s the comfiest pillow in the house. He gets comfortable scratching behind her ears and patting her tummy pouch, no longer afraid of bites.

Today it’s not just Franklin and Nubbins sitting about, but Bobby’s tagging along again, mostly because he doesn’t have much else to do. Franklin figures it probably gets lonely, just the family here on the farm.

So he’s learned to stop taking offense when Bobby’s curious eyes stare at him for minutes at a time, usually building up to a question.

This time, it’s: “Y-You ever- uh, you ever h-held a c-critter like her be..before?”

Not counting the times the Sawyer boys themselves saw to it that he had held a random rodent they found, that would be a no. Franklin answers to that truth, “Never. You sure she wouldn’t give y’all rabies or somethin?”

Bobby shakes his head. “Nuh-uh. N-Not our miss I-Ivy!”

“Sh-She don’t bite, o-or scratch, or n-nothin’!” Nubbins testifies, breaking the silence that had been his cover since Franklin arrived.

Sometimes he gets like that, all quiet and tense. He’ll usually be much more active with his random movements when that happens, and Bobby will be something of a translator for him. It’s just part of him.

Franklin doesn’t make a big deal out of it, or he knows Nubbins will get more quiet. He just teases, “That’s what you said about Bobby too.”

There’s a short pause, where the twins are processing what he meant. Franklin almost has enough time to worry they took offense to the little quip, but not before they start cackling. It’s the kind of laughter that’s so loud and genuine it echoes off the walls, and it makes Franklin want to laugh too.

He just does. With the boys, it’s easy.

Especially when Nubbins declares delightedly that, “B-But we still l-like him!”

It’s something about the way they can poke fun at each other and knows it’s all for laughs, even when some of the comments they get out in the world aren’t so innocent. The twins hear it all the time when there’s no one home to watch them and they have to go to work with their older brother.

Really, they throw themselves in front of the hateful words, knowing the next in line to take them are Bubba, or even Franklin. People like them don’t get it easy.

So sitting around the table, with a raccoon in his lap, making playful remarks with his boys? That’s something worth holding on to.

They all (except for sleepy Miss Ivy, of course) look up when the only sister in the Sawyer family walks through, having heard their conversation and announcing it to all with, “I wouldn’t count out the rabies anyhow. Bobby boy’s a wild animal.”

“H-Hey! That’s not t-true!” He argues after her, not as close with his older sister to let things like that slide.

All at once, he clumsily pushes his chair back, already darted off after her for some kind of revenge before the chair had even stopped wobbling.

Nubbins waves his hands about excitedly, craning and watching the conflict until he can’t see it anymore because the siblings haul up the stairs to keep arguing. And then he turns back to Franklin so fast his own hair hits him in the face.

Shaky, clumsy fingers pull the strands apart out of his eyes, reorienting and smiling all over again with his eyes fixed on Franklin.

Boy, Franklin knows what’s coming next.

Ever since the first time they kissed, Nubbins has been obsessed with it. Every quiet moment they get, he’s pressing kisses to Franklin’s skin wherever he can reach, be that his hands and his arms or his face.

It’s not faring well for their secret, but it’s also not something Franklin wants to stop anytime soon. Right now, it’s all the shy and chaste stuff still, little presses and gentle bumps, no lust in the mix of romantic feelings. The way they’re comfortable.

Though, Franklin still hasn’t gotten over blushing as red as a rose when Nubbins does kiss him.

This time, it’s a kiss right on his cheek, which is definitely heated up and blushing before Nubbins even pulls away. He’s not even sure what it is that flusters him so much. Probably just somebody so open with his emotions, showing them all for him.

It makes his hands sing.

Flapping and shaking like Nubbins taught him how to. Burning off all the happy that builds up in his body when his boyfriend gives him those sweet kisses.

They’re both doing it, the hand dances, when Drayton floats into the room randomly, holding papers they’d gotten in the mail and ranting about their contents under his breath. Something about bills and taxes. Franklin smiles sheepishly, embarrassed to be in a struggling man’s house, but he gets no response.

It’s all just hot air anyway. Nubbins reminds him of that by poking him in the side where he’s ticklish, making him squish up to one side and giggle. A wordless way of saying, ‘don’t pay no attention to him!’

Big brother Drayton grabs something out the drawers in the corner and paces back out to the kitchen, closing the door behind himself to deal with his troubles on his own. A couple of sheltered up seventeen year olds don’t know all that much about paying for things, so they wouldn’t have been much help to him anyway.

The thing is, the second they’re alone, Nubbins pulls his little stunt again. Kissing Franklin, that is.

This time it’s twice. Once just past the side of his mouth, and once straight on his lips. It gives him all kinds of fuzzy and warm feelings. Makes him want to grab onto his boy and never let go.

But he has to. Cause they’re interrupted once again, darn it.

The boys’ younger cousin Johnny comes running out of nowhere. He ducks behind the table, giggling up a storm. It’s only a few seconds before Bubba stumbles in, squealing delightfully. The children run around in circles, screaming back and forth with each other, playing some sort of chasing game. Bubba roars and Franklin thinks he might be playing as a dragon or something.

It’s around this time that the raccoon in Franklin's lap gets annoyed and jumps down, sauntering away towards the screen door to get outside, to get herself into some trouble probably. He sees Sissy come through and pick the old lady raccoon up and carry her to the back door instead, where the yard is fenced in and safer for her.

Nubbins is to shut down to do it himself, as he covers his ears. He doesn’t like all the noise, but he gets in trouble if he tells Bubba to stop making it. Neither of them can help it. Franklin taps Nubbins gently and shows him to shake his hands and get the yucky feelings off. To try to cope with Bubbas way of copin.

He wiggles his bottom in his chair, which Franklin would imitate if he could. He nods and smiles at least so Nubbins knows he’s doing good. A few months back, or years when the two had first met, Nubbins would’ve snapped at Bubba and hurt both of their feelings in the process.

They don’t really know what Nubbins has got going on in his head that makes him so irritable, but he’s not too good at controlling it, not without some help. Franklin wants to be the one that helps him. Forever and ever.

‘Cause Nubbins is helpful back. He teaches him to do fun things and how to make cool art. Over home, Franklin wouldn’t get nearly as much conversation, he’d probably just sit there quietly all the time and be miserable.

So he hopes it’s alright that he’s here so often. The family accepts him. Even the pet raccoon likes him!

If he’s got Bubba’s approval, he knows he’s good, and that he must, since Bubba gets hurt while playing with Johnny, and goes straight to Franklin.

He’d been running around the table again and bumped his head, and welled up with tears right away. Happy little squeaks turned into loud and snotty wines. Johnny and Nubbins freeze up, being the youngest and the most distracted two in the whole family, neither of them know how to fix it when Bubba gets upset. But Franklins been watchin’ for all his time here. He thinks he can do this.

“Come here, Bubs. Lemme see.” He adjusts his wheelchair around to face Bubba and holds his arms out to him.

The younger boy, a preteen now but much taller than Franklin, inches over and sadly lays his cheek on his shoulder. Franklin has to lean just a bit to observe the little red mark on his head, glad to see it didn’t even break the skin, “Hey now, it’s just a bump. You’re alright. No blood.”

Instant relief. Bubba babbles and pats his hands on Franklin's arms, and he knows that’s the boy thanking him. He smiles, “You’re welcome, Bubba. If it still hurts, go with Johnny boy and tell Drayton you want some ice in a bag.”

Bubba nods and turns to his cousin. The younger boy smiles, tags Bubba on the tippy top of his curly head, and takes off running back towards the kitchen to find Drayton, taking the long way around through the front hall. Bubba follows, looking much better already.

Nubbins gives him a little smile, “H-Hey you’re g-good at that.”

Franklin’s going to shrug it off, say it’s just what friends do for friends, but Nubbins isn’t listening anyways. He’s looking at his lips again. With the position of his wheelchair, they can’t reach each other, so Franklin gives a small nod. He can tell Nubbin wants to move him, but he got in big trouble for touching Franklin's chair without permission.

Frankie himself hadn’t minded it, but Sally saw, and Sally might not get a lot of things right about Franklin, but she was angry that someone would drag her brother around like a doll. She’d screamed at Nubbins til her freckled face was red, and Nubbins was near in tears from anger at being talked to that way.

He really broke down when he got home and got in trouble with Drayton for making the neighbors upset. He’d spent his whole time-out sobbing his eyes out, and punching the wall.

It was ugly and Franklin wanted nothing to do with that again. So they have their little silent moments, where Nubbins can just, sort of look and it’ll imply what he wants. Sometimes that’s better than words with them, and better than just doing it without asking.

Would it have been easier to reposition the chair himself? Absolutely. But it sort of felt nice having Nubbins spin the wheels for him and try to get everything perfect. Like he really cared about having Franklin close.

And then once he gets it, he kisses him one more time. This time, he brings up both of his hands to either side of Frankie’s face, and just holds him there. They don’t move much, it’s pretty much just a lock of their lips, occasionally shifting to breathe. It’d be weird and awkward if it was anybody else.

Instead it makes Franklin blush carnation pink and his heart go pitter patter.

That gentle rhythm turns a hell of a lot more panicked in both of them when suddenly there’s a shriek in the room,

“Nubbins got a boyfriend! Nubbins got a boyfriend!!”

Oh. Bobby came back. He saw.

There've been plenty of close calls before, but nothing the two couldn’t pass off. Two years of hiding is a long time and they maybe got careless. And now Bobby’s jumping up and down and singing and it’s just-

Too much.

“Boyfriend!!! Nubbins! Got! A! Boy-“

The kitchen door slams back open. Drayton whacks the wall with a wooden spatula instead of hitting any of the boys,

“That’s enough, boy! You lost your damn mind?”

Now Bobby’s on the defensive. He shakes his head wildly and points, putting all the attention on his brother and Franklin, “Th-They was kiss-kissin’!”

Nubbins and him stare at the ground. Bobby looks confused why they seem so upset. Romance is supposed to be good! They keep mama’s wedding picture on the mantelpiece and she don’t even live here anymore. It’s not bad that Nubbins could be like mama too, not in his eyes. It’s good that he’s got a boyfriend!

Drayton might beg to differ though. It’s hard to tell, with the tense form of his posture. His eyes are narrowed and he’s just, staring for a moment. Assessing if maybe Robert was lying to him. Til he asks gruffly, “That true?”

“Uh…” Franklin can’t speak. He knows what his boy means to him, but he just can’t articulate it, can’t defend himself in the face of someone he’s afraid of.

Nubbins isn’t afraid. He balls up his fists and slams them on the table and shouts, “Yeh! S-So what?”

“Ain’t going to have none of that in my house, is so what.” Drayton says it sort of like a command. Like he expects the two of them to just break up on the spot. Calm because of a smugness, and because he’s so angry underneath.

Oh, but his Nubbins turns bright red in anger, the glaring birthmark on his cheek deepening like the color of blood when it gets under the skin like a bruise. He accuses, “Yer just m-mad cause you got n-nobody t’ kiss! Lefty left you, a-an’ yer all-all alone! Mean old m-man!”

Drayton grits his teeth, sort of like a growl, “Shut up.”

Franklin really needs to ask more about what happened between his uncle and the oldest Sawyer. For now, he’s watching this argument like you’d watch a ball game, back and forth between the angry brothers shouting at each other. His jaws a little slackened in awe.

“Nuh-uh. I-I’m gonna kiss my Fr-Franklin whenever I want!” Nubbins declares, and gets real close to Franklin, nose pressed into his cheek, as if to prove it.

“Don’t you dare-“ Drayton warns, but it’s too late.

Nubbins kisses Franklin's face all over, cartoonishly and childlike, with little “~mwah” noises and everything. It’s sorta sweet in a way. Doesn’t stop Franklin from being mortified.

And it doesn’t stop the oldest from reacting. Drayton marches forward, shoving extra furniture out of his path, to get to Nubbins, pulling him back hard by his bony shoulder.

“Why you little-“

His hand raises up automatically to thwack Nubbins. Nubbins pokes his tongue out, disobeys, but he shrinks down too. He anticipates the painful contact.

Dread settles heavy in the room.

Franklin can’t breathe. They’d talked. This wasn’t supposed to happen anymore. Nubbins wasn’t scared, things were better now, they’d be okay-

Bobby breaks his stunned silence from things going so so wrong, to shriek out, “N-No, Drayton!”

Franklins realizes he has the power to speak too. He’s much closer to everything. Can hear the angry breaths and see the shaking bodies. It scares him, but he tries to be firm too, “Don’t hurt him.”

The image of getting a smack of his own plays in his head and he bows apologetically, “Please.”

Somewhere, that reminds Drayton of his hollow promises. His face even goes a little pale.

Stiff and awkward, he taps his hands on Nubbins’ arms. It looks like it’s supposed to be comforting, and at least Nubbins takes it that way cause he relaxes a little. Drayton eventually, with a little bit of effort now that he’s past forty, crouches down by the chair. It’s not really a hug per se, but he kinda lays his head on Nubbins, and the boy accepts it, curling up to make as much contact as possible.

This isn’t the pretend to get along stuff, or the scream until their throats are raw hatred. They’re trying to love each other. Drayton’s trying to be vulnerable. Nubbins is trying to not fight.

Franklin, for one, is confused though. It doesn’t make sense.

“I thought you was mad?” He asks quietly, eyes fixed to the floor like seeing the Sawyer siblings hug is something to be ashamed of.

“Been through a lot, kid.” Drayton answers automatically, pulling away from the bit of strange affection he was able to show, rising to his feet again.

There’s silence for a long time, while everybody tries to think of what to say.

Drayton paces on the spot a little. Bounces impatiently, his temper with himself now mostly. Wipes his hands on his work pants.

Finally, he speaks, seeing that nobody else is going to, and having something else on his mind he needs to put out, “I’m all they got. Can’t let a simple thing ruin it….. I won’t get on your case. Just.. Just you stay outta his bedroom, you hear?”

Oh god. They’re not- Franklin never- Where did he..?

Franklin just nods, and he’s sure he looks stupid, but he was caught off guard! The implication there is beyond embarrassing, something that never even occurred to him yet. He’s sure his own flushed face is hot enough to rival the sun.

Drayton accepts the nod as the answer it is, more than used to not getting words for answers. And then he lingers sort of awkwardly, extending his hand out for maybe a hand shake with the boy, but then withdrawing it immediately before Franklin can even accept.

There’s something going on in that old man’s head, and Franklin wants nothing to do with it.

It’s only because Nubbins forgives him that he doesn’t hate Draytons guts. Maybe he gets the luxury of being an outsider, or maybe it’s because he’s got both his parents and just one little sister. Whatever it is, something tells Franklin it isn’t his place to decide for the Sawyers.

Either way, doesn’t mean he has to be a fan of Drayton Sawyer.

And maybe he glares a little at the door after the man leaves again, muttering to himself about something indistinct, not the same as the finances rants. More like he’s scolding himself or something.

The twins are over it though. They’re fixed back on their respective friend and partner, both leaning in to ask him something quiet.

It’s Nubbins who does the speaking for the question they both have, “Why a-ain’t you allowed i-in our room?”

God, no. Franklin cannot answer that right now. He’ll die of humiliation trying to explain it to the boys. Shouldn’t they know that already at seventeen?

“Uh.. that’s probably a question for your brother.”

Bobby recoils and scrunches up, acting like he touched something gross, and squeaks, “Ew, we d-don’t wanna talk to h-him!”

Never thought he’d see the day, but he’s actually about to defend their older brother. Not because he likes him, that'd just be a downright lie, but because he knows this’ll be easier if they don’t all fight amongst each other all the damn time. No hitting, no arguing, no name-calling.

That’s probably wishful thinking. Franklin tries to mediate peace anyways, “You heard what he said. He cares ‘bout y’all. Sometimes you gotta talk to him.”

But Robert Sawyer is one stubborn son of a gun. He just shakes his head and flicks his hair dismissively, “That’s d-dumb.”

That offends Nubbins into speaking up, “Fr-Franklin’s not dumb, Bobby!”

There’s a moment where they just stare at each other, before Nubbins strikes. It’s like nobody in the world is allowed to breathe until they solve their problem. Which they choose to do by wrestling it out.

The fight is like watching two lions without teeth trying to kill each other. They just sort of push and hit and pull hair. Bobby bites Nubbins on the arm once. Nubbins shoves a pile of chicken feathers from the next room, that were left from Bubba bringing his favorite hen in the house, into Bobby’s face.

All of it’s mostly harmless. That’s probably why Franklin feels a little flattered, watching his boy defend him that way. If it were anybody other than his own twin brother, he might even do some actual damage.

All for Franklin. ‘Cause he isn’t stupid. Just like Nubbins didn’t deserve to be hit.

He’s glad he stood up for him. And that Nubbins did it right back.

It’s something a little like love that flutters in his chest.

That is, until the spirit of the Holy Ghost gets scared right out of him by more unexpected yelling and banging on the wall.

Drayton crowd, “Y’all aren’t gettin’ nothin’ for supper if you don’t stop yer rough housin’!”

For a moment, the twins are just stuck looking at each other in horror, before they work on untangling and righting themselves, helping each other fix their hair so they don’t look like they’ve just been fighting. It’s too late, their brother already knows, but they hide the evidence anyways.

The thing Franklin finally understands, is that it’s not a lie when Nubbins says he isn’t scared.

It sort of inspires him to wanna feel that way too.

So this time, once the boys are settled back in their seats, he initiates a kiss, right on Nubbins’ cheek. Nubbins sneaks and turns his head quick to make it a real kiss, but just a peck.

Bobby giggles and points at them, “Y’all got.. C-Coooooties!”

Nubbins would’ve probably jumped across the table and tackled him again if the rest of the family didn’t start coming in for supper.

Instead, he’ll hold Franklin’s hand, all throughout, for the rest of the day even if he can help it, and not care even one little bit who’s looking,

#tcmfanevent #nubbins sawyer #franklin hardesty #franknub #chop top sawyer #bobby sawyer #drayton sawyer #bubba sawyer #johnny and sissy appearances #franklin hardesty x nubbins sawyer #the texas chainsaw massacre #tcm 1974 #tcm 2 #tcm fanfic

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sumerianlanguage · 11 months ago

Note

Hello, I just read Andrew George's Epic of Gilgamesh and I stumbled upon this passage :

From what I know, the word "chapel" is quite distinctly meaning a place of worship for Christian, which surely this Epic predates by many centuries. The mention of juniper incense made me think that Gilgamesh and Enkidu performed divination and purification ritual, since in ancient Mesopotamia juniper incense is usually used for those rituals. And those rituals are also commonly performed in temple. But I don't understand why the translation didn't use 'temple' like in many other instances in the Epic, especially since the segment before located in a temple, more specifically Ninsun's temple where she adopted Enkidu as his foster son. Like, do Gilgamesh and Enkidu moved place? Do the word for 'chapel' there is different from 'temple' in other segment so it cannot be translated with the same word? What does exactly that 'chapel' word sounds in Sumerian/Akkadian?

Hello, and thanks for clarifying (in dms) which section of the Epic this comes from - it's Tablet III, lines 148-154. The word in question is the Akkadian bīt, which means "house" or "building", and is the root of many more specific terms for different buildings. It could also be used for "temple" or various other kinds of structures. It's the equivalent of the Sumerian e, which has the same set of meanings, and both are written 𒂍 in cuneiform.

George was, like many modern translators, presumably trying to make the text as recognizable as possible to his (assumed) reader, so used "chapel" as a creative liberty. Helle (2021) here uses "temple" with the same surrounding phrasing: "Enkidu in the temple of ... / and Gilgamesh in the temple of ..."

The term used for the temple of Ninsun earlier in tablet III is egalmah, a Sumerian term that literally means "great big building", but is used for a major temple. It starts with the same e sign, 𒂍. Given that we don't know what comes after bīt in the lines here, it's possible it was egalmah, but without a more complete version of this section we can't know for sure. The term bīt is also used in this tablet as part of the phrase for "bath-house" (bīt narmaku III.37), illustrating its more generic "building/house" meaning.

If I were to translate this, I'd probably use "building", just because the lack of context makes any more specific term seem too confident in meaning (this section is extremely fragmentary). As to what this section refers to, it could basically be anything - though if any Akkadianists have thoughts, please reblog with them! And thank you again for your question.

#replies #epic of gilgamesh #akkadian #sumerian architecture

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princess-of-the-corner · 2 months ago

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Fair take on Nathalie being the more dangerous of the two, she's a better fight than Gabriel that's for sure and seems more worldly magic wise and is more willing to risk things while Gabriel never left his hide out unless he was convinced he was unstoppable.

I do tend to be a little charitable to Gabriel, in that I regard a lot of his failings as coming from a mixture of having operated in a position of power and comfort so long, that its hard for him to really like, kick himself into great scheming wise. IE, he got more effective after Nathalie was dying because now he was on the clock in more ways than one.

The other thing that definitely undercuts him, beyond his own emotional incompetence and ego (Why did you think pissing Audrey off was a good idea Gabriel?! & why did you go along with it Nathalie!?) Is that he always seems to bank everything on whatever Akuma of the day he makes. Its less that this undercuts his threat in universe but on an audience engagement level this makes him look like an oaf.

Cos obviously he can't win or the story ends, but if the losses were framed more as the Akuma's fault and he was less prone to stomping his foot like a temper tantrum throwing child it'd feel less embarrassing for him.

Its something I'd want to explore if I ever get the time to write Guardian Neos & Lady Glasswing, Dueling Fates.

Marinette does make some of the day to day, Akuma of opportunity like Gabriel does, but her attitude towards them is totally different.

She's not really banking on these Akuma to win it all. She's using them as test subjects for different ideas, getting a sense for their and her powers, and how Neos fights. She's using it to build up to bigger, more dangerous strategies.

Thus its less,

"Kim, you fool, you have failed me! Curse you Neos! But I will get you next time!!"

and more

"Hmm. Kim's athleticism didn't translate into a powerful fighter like Kagami's, but the power he manifested would be be useful for turning Neos's allies against her. Even if they don't win, I could use that to get her identity and the location of the Miraculous. Definitely filing him away for future use."

It lets the heroes win the day but ensures the villain doesn't really feel like they lost anything while setting up larger conflicts for the future.

It honestly kind of shocks me, that Gabriel can often feel like such a relatively weak villain given the set up should mostly insulate him from the embarrassment of defeat. But as said. I think a lot of it comes down to how invested he seems in the Akuma and it leaving him looking impotent as more defeats pile up.

The murky line between how much control he has over what an Akuma becomes and their design doesn't help. But I tend to assume he actually has relatively little control over that.

Honestly I think one of the reasons Gabe operates the way he does is because there's little to no risk of just throwing weak Akumas at the wall.

Like. There's no danger to him if he Akumatizes Mr. Pigeon 69 times. Losing this battle won't lose the war. But if LB and CN slip up just one time, even to a weak Akuma, then it's all over.

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thatpodcastkid · 8 months ago

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Magnus Archives Relisten, MAG 4 Page Turner

Analysis of MAG 4, Page Turner. Spooky book time! Spoilers ahead.

Jurgen Leitner? Stupid idiot motherfucking Jurgen-

Sorry about that got possessed for a second. Anyway, first Leitner statement! Let's get into it while I try to control my rage.

Facts: Statement of Dominic Swain, regarding a book briefly in his possession in the winter of 2012.

Statement Notes: So much in this episode! First Gerry and Mary citing, first Leitner and Mike Crew mention. Crazy how relevant this episode was and we all had no way of knowing.

Starting simple, I would just like to say that as a theatre tech, Swain is so accurate and so real. "Doing a little bit of everything?" Real. Trying to see friends work but you also work at the same time? Real. Work place romance? Real. Not being able to relax when you see a play because you know all the tech stuff that can go wrong? Really real.

What I really loved about Dominic's statement though is the highlight of the ozone smell. He walks all around London with that book, shows it to Mary and Gerard, shows it to friends, and no one else mentions the smell. Yet, when he shows it to his ex Katherine Mendes, she said it "triggered her vertigo." This happens with a lot of the cursed items in the show: they don't have one general effect, but target the specific sources of fear and anxiety in the owner. Katherine apparently gets vertigo often, so The Vast would naturally trigger than height-based stressor. But Swain has a specific fear of lightning and the ozone smell because of what happened to Mike, so torturing him with that smell is the most effective way to cause fear in him.

There's also some really classic cursed object horror going on here that I love. Swain tries to sell the book the whole episode, but calls it "his book" fleeing Mary. Additionally, he says that he thought about giving it away, but felt that "wouldn't count." Very similar to Do Not Open here and a lot of cursed object horror in that there needs to be some kind of debt or reciprocity established rid one of the object.

I also just love the line "walking felt as natural as falling." It really conjures the idea that he can't control himself, that he's stumbling to Mary's shop uncontrollable just as he would fall through the sky: completely unable to stop.

Entity Alignment: Dominic translates "Ex Altiora" as "From Higher" or "Out of the Heights." That's just such insane Vast energy, the idea that whatever the book does to you will spawn from the open empty sky and you won't be able to stop it, just as you'd never be able to stop falling.

Obviously this episode is generally Vast aligned, but that painting of the Eye really freaked me out. "Grant us the sight that we may not know. Grant us the scent that we may not catch. Grant us the sound that we may not call.” This engraving very much encapsulates the point of the Eye and the Archive, and weirdly foreshadows what Jon goes through later. It is essentially saying, "Let me witness the fear and pain of others so that I don't have to experience it myself." Why would Gerry paint this? Especially given that a giant eye gives Elias direct view into his home. What is the goal?

Character Notes: Jurgen Leitner? Stupid idiot motherfucking Jurgen Leitner god damn fool book collecting dust eating-

Sorry what happened I blacked out.

Seriously though, my biggest takeaway about Leitner in this ep is that he doesn't spell his name with an umlaut like others. Why did Jonny include that detail. What does that do for me.

I do love that the only information Swain could find on him was that he lost a bidding war over a book to "GRbookworm1818" who is so obviously Gertrude it's hilarious.

I think it's so weird that Swain couldn't find anything online about him, though. Leitners are clearly around, so wouldn't there be some kind of chat room or reddit post about one? Builds my theory that the Entities or at least the Web has some influence over internet content in this universe that it doesn't have in The Magnus Protocol universe. In TMAGP, the OIAR sorts through things found in databases and the internet, but in TMA the Archive seems to be the only source of real supernatural info, proving that Elias or someone else was controlling the stream of information in a way that the entities aren't able to (yet) in TMAGP.

Let's turn away from the most hated character on the internet to talk about the most loved: Gerard Keay.

Our first intro to Gerry is death metal music blasting from his bedroom at two am which is just, so on brand.

(Also want to point out that Dominic Swain didn't realize it was 2 am until he heard the music. Missing time is another motif that keeps coming up in this show.)

I also forgot that Gerry painted in this universe, so it's nice to see they kept that connection in Protocol.

The thing that's truly key (no pun intended) about this episode though is the ritual Mary performs, blaming Gerry for her fake murder. I believe this is the episode she binds herself to the Skin Book, but I can't figure out when/how she would attach Gerry. Also, the case against him was thrown out because a "key piece of evidence was deemed inadmissible." Was this Gertrude pulling strings, Mary using magic influence, or some other powerful eldritch bureaucrat pulling for our boy? Who's to say.

Mike Crew is really only mentioned in this episode, but it did get me thinking about the relevance of scars in the show. His Lichtenberg scar influences who he is and what he becomes as an Avatar. Very similar to Daisy naming herself after her scar and pursuing law--which would lead to her becoming an Avatar--because of the event and injury. Also, Jon's "markings" are what allow him to start the Eyepocalypse. Physical manifestations and reminders of trauma shaping who we become really is a theme in this show.

And of course, Jon. He is such a terrible liar yet him believing in the supernatural was still somehow a plot twist. Proves how good a writer Jonny is, honestly. He doesn't believe in the supernatural, but is absolutely terrified of Leitners and is working on an "institute project" to eradicate them? I would love to know how this project worked. Was it just research? Was there a team dedicated to finding and collecting Leitners? He also mentions "the incident in 1994," is that when the library was destroyed? Or is just another terrible Leitner incident.

Crazy ep, one of my favorites. Let me know what you think!

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astronyu · 1 year ago

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Sketches and commentary on the Folly ref sheet for RAT's newest plush! (info below the cut vvv)

(note: RAT commissioned me to make the character ref sheet, which is NOT the plushie schematic that Makeship actually uses as reference to produce the plushie)

This is the first sketch we sent to Makeship!

I'm starting to add details to push Folly's identity a bit more and differentiate her more from RM (Rat Maid), i.e. neckline, nose, gloves, blush. Lots of curves! (And I also added two rats instead of one <3O~ <3O~)

At one point we considered giving her the eye design shown on the right (red thread embroidered around her eye) as a reference to her MC skin's glowing eyes, but we decided eye shadow was a better look. also it looks like sans undertale

This is the back! The Folly skin has a long pretty bow, but it's scrapped by the end because A. her hair obscures everything on her back and B. as we went along we increasingly afraid of the sheer mass of fabric building on this plushie.

Most of her palette is colorpicked from the original minecraft skin by Arathain (who also made RM!) but iirc we made the ears pinker and lighter. You can see their OG tweet featuring the Folly skin here!

Onto the dress design!

RAT wanted the Folly plush to feel like more than just a recolor, so he had me redesign her dress. I started off with an inspo board focused on elements we wanted to keep-- Folly's lighter palette, the middle slit of her dress, the off-shoulder straps, and the overall maid theme.

You'll notice that Folly's expressions here are kind of all over the place (I don't think she's ever looked that sympathetic in her life). I think I made these sketches before I finalized her face, where RAT requested some mixture of murderous intent with mischief, but in a subtle way. Later down the line the specific smirk Folly has actually gave the physical plushie a lot of trouble (faces do not scale easily on cone shaped snouts).

The first alternate dress designs!

RED: RAT (paraphrased), PURPLE: me ofc More refined sketches! As you can see here RAT's working me to the bone with all of his requests. It's okay though, b/c after I sent him the completed ref sheet I got to watch him turn on Makeship. (KIDDING, KIDDING)

Overall, I was looking for a dress that felt regal, beautiful, and unconventional, while still feeling like a maid dress. Wow, after physically typing that out I feel like face palming. "I need a dress for a GODDESS also a uniform good for housekeeping please" (???)

After feedback, I focused more on variations of the 2nd option.

You'll see at the last Folly, I combined the 2nd variation with the tie ribbon, the layered dress design, and long puffy sleeves. I decided to bring over the long puffy sleeves specifically because I hoped that they would give Folly a more interesting silhouette that of course contrasts with RM.

(To be fair, this contrast isn't very visible on the plushie itself but it is fun to draw.)

And finally, the second and last ref we sent to Makeship!

imo Makeship did an INCREDIBLE job translating the design to plushie!! I'm sure there's plenty of challenges Makeship's plushie makers have to deal with that we don't see, so I always specify that I'm only responsible for the initial drawing when people ask me if I "made" the plush.

One really delightful surprise were the 3d rats; we didn't think they were possible but they were (ilu makeship)!! You'll probably also notice that Folly's eyes look pretty different--- they were changed slightly in each step and ultimately ended up softer, which is interesting because I feel that it kind of mirrored how RAT's approach to Folly as a character changed in the months of the plushie's development (and up to her release!).

And that's all I have for my part of the plushie! I always love working with RAT on projects and plushies are a highlight. They're especially surreal to think about when we all used to joke about them before RAT really blew up.

ofc, the shill if you want to get her: Makeship Folly plush and RM's ref sheet if you're curious: Rat Maid plushie ref

i think the campaign ends about October 7th, 2023, but you and i are very likely to be in different time zones so if you're interested doublecheck with the site. if the date has long past then ig this is just a fun little time capsule for you, which can also be pretty cool :)

#doctor4t #csmp folly #doctor4t folly #content smp #content smp folly #makeship #ratgang #myart #my art

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yuseirra · 2 months ago

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I'm really sorry, I should shut up about this subject because I say too much over and over but, I end up thinking a lot about it because it's left unclear. If things weren't as confusing, I'd just have happily set down to draw fanarts as I usually do, I never knew I could do this about a character. I really, really didn't think I'd have to dissect a character like this as much ever (I really want to show my analysis to aka-san and ask him, am I wrong??;; am I taking things the way you thought or is this all just in my head?) I guess you learn something new about yourself every year! At least..hm, I saw the really good sides in someone's nature. So, I feel like it can be a good thing.

I'm so dumb... I feel like I never get tired but maybe I will if the story does fail me heheh. I feel I've been able to write these because I feel there's still hope.

Like I say, I feel like I know the ultimate direction of where all this may head. I just can't predict all the details in between so that's what makes me so nervous. That's all.

Well, I jotted down my thoughts again-

This one's machine-translated!:

Analyzing Kamiki's Character (I Keep Analyzing His Mind) - This character really couldn't have gone mad like this on his own. Seriously. What is this guy even doing?

This character is truly a subject of study. It’s so fascinating that I keep watching him.

His role is somewhat crucial(since he's the main target of the protagonist's revenge, right?), yet the perspective on him remains strangely obscure. When it comes to understanding a character's personality, their own thoughts or monologues are crucial, but even those are scarce here. There’s one shocking line that makes him seem truly insane and out of his mind, and… most of his thoughts center around Ai. I believe his feelings for Ai are sincere, but since he hasn’t been properly portrayed in the anime, the author has twisted things a bit. I feel like the creators intentionally left out certain information to maintain suspense during the anime airs—if everything about a character is revealed before their appearance, it ruins the intrigue. He was presented almost like a complete villain at first, didn't he? That whole scene with Yura I mean. So, at least while the show was airing, they seemed to have controlled things so that nothing new would be revealed and to build anticipation.

The storytelling is so unfriendly. Based on what’s been shown, it's hard to tell if this character is just a psychopath beyond redemption who hired someone to kill Ai, and somehow still can't forgive anyone who surpasses Ai, and turns into a serial killer—so much of a threat that Aqua's determination to kill him makes sense—or if he’s someone Ai loved enough to risk everything to protecti, that she found was truly worth loving, born with a kind and gentle nature that got twisted due to some external influence, making him another victim of the entertainment industry's darkness who deserves eventual redemption.

It's difficult to say for sure, but if I had to choose, my interpretations on him would lean toward the latter. I've been looking at him with that kind of light.

What confuses me is how the story reveals so little about this character. Why don’t they show more?

If they would just reveal more, I could understand him properly. It's like… even when he’s drowning to his demise, there’s nothing clear to grasp onto.

He’s a truly puzzling character.

Regardless of how you interpret him, the storytelling leaves a lot of unresolved tension. Up until a certain point, the story leads you to think of him as the former—just a villain—only for it to suddenly reveal moments where you think, “Wait, Ai really loved this guy sincerely? He actually loved her too?”—and you start to question your assumptions.

Considering the overall message of the story, the latter interpretation seems to make more sense direction-wise.

What strikes me as strange is that after this, I tried to gather all the scattered pieces of information about this character and put them together to form a clearer picture. For me, having that foundation is necessary before I can talk about him or even draw something.

And the conclusion I reached is this:

"This character was truly, inherently, a very, very good person, and Ai made a great choice with him as a partner."

I didn’t expect to reach this conclusion, so I was surprised at first, but I went with it, even while feeling a bit uneasy, and I ended up drawing a lot based on that. It was fun. At least, back in his younger days and when he was with Ai, it seems he had that personality. For Ai’s sake, that’s a relief. But by all means, if Ai fell in love with someone who turned out to be this kind of lunatic, what meaningful story can be told from that? I think it’d be more harm than good.

He truly was a kind person… and if that’s true, it could also make for a compelling story, one that shows how the darkness of the entertainment industry drove such a person to madness. But will they explore that properly?

I’m convinced. A person this kind and gentle couldn’t possibly go mad like this on their own.

It could be that he was so excessively pure and naive when he was young that he could be easily influenced.

That's why I think something must have driven him mad. And if that's the case, they should delve into that.

Under normal circumstances, it’s impossible for him to change this much. It’s difficult to speak confidently about a fictional character, especially when there’s so little revealed about them, but this is the only explanation that makes sense to me. He wasn’t just ordinarily kind. He was… truly saintly.

That’s the impression I got, so I’ve been drawing him with that interpretation, and it turned out to be right, didn’t it? He was like that originally.

Then he would never end up like this. Not typically.

So as I watch, it’s all so fascinating, puzzling, and strange. How did it come to this? Honestly, they should show us more. I want to analyze his mind, but there are so few clear pieces that I’m itching to dissect it.

I’m curious how someone so kind could change like this. It feels like something must have artificially altered his personality—something major must have happened. It doesn’t feel natural.

I’m curious, even if it’s just to understand it better.

The reason he's so hard to understand isn't really anything else—it's just that they keep hiding and not showing us anything. It’s hard to know because it’s hidden, but if they would just reveal it, I think I could understand him right away.

And I’m… sure that this is the kind of character I enjoy dealing with. I really love thinking about and drawing characters like this, so even though I only have a vague outline, I took the plunge with some courage.

But looking at his current situation, I find it hard to be hopeful, haha.

But you know what? Like I keep saying, if he’s someone Ai cherished and fell in love with that deeply, then he must be the gentlest person in the world.

If he’s like a manifestation of Sarutahiko, then he’s a good fit. I’d make him Ai’s husband if I were the author.

If he’s just a crazy person, there’s no point, right?

And like I said before, if he was genuinely in love with Ai, he would have done anything for her—given up his liver, his gallbladder, even his heart if he could. He would have loved her that much.

In fact, that’s exactly what Kamiki is doing now too. He’s just completely corrupted and has lost his mind.

:) I’m probably right. Ai really did meet the one person who could love her more than anyone else in the world.

Enough to throw everything away, even his noble heart and sanity.

But if he killed a lot of people after that, then… that’s still pretty messed up. If that’s the case, then what’s the point of this story? How can you save a guy like that?

So I hope they reveal more about him. What happened to him… if he can be redeemed (based on the story elements, he should be redeemed).

#oshi no ko #hikaai #hikaru kamiki #oshi no theories #ai.. what kind if person did you love...#how do you feel about him right now...#oshi no ko spoilers #spoilers #I feel she'd be really concerned and upset and worried. her man is so broken #he WASN'T LIKE THAT!! HOW DOES SOMEONE BREAK THAT BAD(she got murdered)#...yeah...his life is so messed up #why was he never happy except for that brief moment he had w Ai. I understand why the writers set him up like that I mean #that WOULD make even a kind person like him throw just everything away to get Ai back. I would make that choice as a writer too if that's-#what's necessary #but his past was too horrible for a sweet person like him. the world was unfair to him. he's like.. the most unfortunate person w sarina #long post

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