#because she deserved that much; regardless of how the person i am now feels about her; and the evidence that she was there.

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

one reason i'm grateful a) to have been getting into treating my meta as An Art Form as much as fanfic/art/etc, and b) that there's an import function for that on AO3, is that i write very little prose these days, and Actually Having Substantial Things to Post helps me get past the stumbling block of 'well there's nothing much worth going to the trouble for anyway, is there' to the 'alright let's address all the other baggage that makes using AO3 so emotionally fraught for you bud' step (staircase.)

[dalishious]

About Davrin's little blurb on the official website for Dragon Age: The Veilguard...

"Though he was raised in a Dalish clan, he craved excitement and adventure. He'd rather make history than reflect on it."

There's actually a lot to unpack about these two sentences.

First off, placing the word "though" in front of being "raised in a Dalish clan", gives such a thing a negative connotation. The word "though" is used in a way that sounds like "despite", as in, somehow wanting excitement and adventure must go against being Dalish. This correlates with sentence that follows. "He'd rather make history than reflect on it." The word "rather" is yet again used to separate Davrin from his Dalish origin. All together, this promotional description of Davrin is insisting that he is "not like other Dalish".

Now, obviously the game is not out yet, so we do not have total confirmation on what the nature of Davrin's relationship to his culture is really like. But there is absolutely something to be said about promoting the character this way, regardless of however he actually turns out in game. There is absolutely something to be said about how, as @/the-eldritch-it-gay put in their tags here, why do writers feel the need to make fantasy minorities hate or distance themselves from their culture? As a selling point?

Maybe this is completely misleading bullshit, maybe it isn't. All we have to go by, is what BioWare chose to say here, and their past track record with elves:

Zevran may talk about his mother in a font way, but he still has the line, "Too many of our kind think we deserve pity simply because we have failed to defend ourselves."

Velanna is one of the two elves we've had who is overtly proud of her culture, yet she is treated like she is unreasonable and too angry because of it.

Merrill too, is proud of being an elf, and of being Dalish. The story punishes her left and right for this, treats her like a child, and in the end she is either ostracized from her clan or they end up dead because... she cared too much?

Fenris has pretty much zero engagement with elven cultures, and spends his time ridiculing Merrill for being proud of hers.

Solas complains about the Dalish from the start, and says plainly that he does not see himself as having anything in common with elves of current time. "Oh, you mean elves" he says, when the Inquisitor asks how he feels about his people; the thought does not even occur to him.

Sera is... Sera is a character who could have been a really interesting examination of overcoming internalized racism, if she was written by someone competent with the subject. Instead, she just cringes at everything "too elfy" through the entire main game, and only has a single line in Trespasser that hints that she may have a personal struggle going on. But it's still left unresolved.

That's a lot a lot of negativity. So of course seeing a suggestion that more is to come with Davrin has people wary and tired.

Let us also consider the fact that Davrin is overtly Black as well, and what that means. Acting as if one must disregard history in order to make it, as his description so claims, is bullshit. It sounds too much like promoting gentrification/assimilation in my opinion; the idea that you cannot keep your culture if you want to be successful.

I also think that it goes even deeper, on a meta level - I think that BioWare is afraid people will not be able to like or relate to Davrin, if he is "too ethnic". I think that BioWare is taking this Black character and instead of questioning how he can best represent marginalized fans - particularly Black fans - they are questioning how to make him more relatable to white fans. And the only answer to that is to, of course, make him seem like he is an exception to marginalization through separating him from his people.

I am still holding onto hope that Davrin will overall be an interesting, well-written character. And I sure as hell will still be defending him from the people who are already hating on him or ignoring him completely because of their racialized biases. But that does not exempt BioWare, and specifically his writer, John Dombrow, from any criticism. This is not about Davrin the character, this is about BioWare the company's handling of Davrin the character. And in that regard, they're not off to a great start with this.

[krakenartificer]

Who wants a really sad Leverage headcanon?

Was re-watching the Gimme a K Street Job -- Season 5 Episode 5 -- and a couple of things stood out to me.

1) Nate says "Let's go steal some congresspeople", and then sends everyone on the team (except Parker, who's being a cheer coach) out to con one of their targets. But it feels like there's a profound mismatch in who gets which mark.

For the "not like other girls" feminist congresswoman who's inclined to dismiss cheer as worthless and demeaning, you need Eliot to come in looking like a man who very much knows what does and does not count as a sport, and be his tiny angry respect-women-juice self about how regardless of what you think of their choice of clothing they are working as hard as any other athlete and they deserve safety as much as anyone else. But instead they sent Hardison.

For the "Yes I am very busy and important; admire me" chairman, you need Sophie, who is better than anyone else on the planet at making you feel admirable when you're doing what she wants, and scummy and low when you're not doing what she wants. But instead they sent Eliot.

For the "Look I am trying, but I need corn subsidies or I won't be able to do anything else" newbie congressman, Hardison could happily have gone on an infinitely recurring series of fetch quests until he sees the place where they loop around and bottom out and every problem solves every other problem. But instead they sent Sophie.

2) Eliot struggles the most, so Nate works with him the most, but he doesn't help him out hardly at all; he just keeps saying, "So what's your next play?" and then revealing that he's already anticipated Eliot's next play and has all the materials in place to enact it. And of course, they do eventually get the dude on board, and it all works out, but afterwards, Eliot tells Nate, "I trust that some time soon you'll tell me why you had me slogging through all that when you already knew how to hook him."

And of course, knowing what we now know about how season 5 ends, it makes sense that Nate is trying to train the OT3 to work without him, looking for his replacement.

Except.

If the plan is to fuck off into the sunset with Sophie, then why did he throw Sophie into this uncomfortable not-my-wheelhouse scenario?

No, Nate's preparing the entire team to carry on without him. He's forcing them to learn how to plan, learn different ways of approaching problems, to think about bigger pictures and approach them strategically.

...

I think Nate just got the first diagnosis of the disease that's finally going to kill him. And again, we -- the audience -- now know that he's going to live for many years after that initial diagnosis. But he doesn't know that, at this point. He knows he's tested positive, and he knows it's eventually going to kill him, and he has no idea how long he has.

And in some sense, it doesn't matter how long he has. Three months or thirty years, that kind of revelation makes it stunningly clear that taking care of the people you love means making sure that they can take care of themselves.

So that's what he does: he throws them into new, uncomfortable situations where they'll have to grow and support each other without him, so that no matter what happens, they'll be able to keep going. Because he's not a nice person, Jimmy Ford's son, but by God does he know the importance of protecting your family.

[schrodinger-swriter]

The main cast of Hazbin hotel on Valentine's day

I know I may be a little late. I had to do some shopping today and hadn't had the motivation or time to get down and write until now! I apologize is some characters are given more writing than others... the truth is that I am bised for some characters or simply have more for them. :C

Regardless I hope you enjoy these, I likely won't do these large posts very often.

CHARLIE:

I hope you can forgive me for being a little short on Charlie's part, I had stated earlier what she would do for the holiday in an alphabet post! But to recap she makes you a mixtape with songs dedicated to you, songs made by her and songs she knows you like! The case is handmade too, covered in hearts as well as having a hand written note inside further expressing her affections for you. She would also give you some of your favorite candies! Expect to go out and do something fun and romantic too!

VAGGIE:

Much lower compared to her canon partner, Vaggie is not much of an enjoyer of the holiday. She keeps her thoughts to it to herself, though sometimes you might find her grumbling about all the pink and the red. She just doesn't enjoy the aesthetic all that much. However despite that she will still participate if she knows it will make her significant other happy! She would get you something small, like a stuffed animal and some flowers.

ANGEL DUST:

Respectfully stealing this idea from my mutual, but he already gets so many gifts and cards from his crazed horny fans. He hardly has the room for any more! Though.. he probably sells a lot of it for some extra cash, only keeping some of the candies. If you get him something, he probably wouldn't sell it. He's actually touched. In terms of what he does for you, he might treat you to a night full of him... in more ways than one if you're open to it. If you don't feel like going out he's fine with staying inside and watching some movies in his rooms... perhaps it's a deserved break after a rough day during the love season.

ALASTOR:

Similar to Vaggie, Alastor wouldn't do much. He understands the purpose of the holiday, but he simply. Does not care for it all that much. However I do rather enjoy the though of Alastor sending letters to his friends (Mimzy, Rosie, Niffty, ect). He even puts them in fancy envelopes and seals them with wax. How nice is that? If he can, he might even send a box of chocolates. Fingers, in Rosie's case. However, he doesn't do much to celebrate outside of that. That's assuming he sends anything at all, anyway.

SIR PENTIOUS:

He would go all out. He might even make a machine dedicated to you and gift it. He makes a mechanical heart that beats and gives it to you. He gives you all of the candy he can get his hands on, not exactly sure what you prefer. He takes you out for the night, to the nicest restaurant he can go to without getting jumped (because let's be honest... his days of trying to pick fights and climb to power has probably landed him with some enemies...). He's a total gentleman on the date, opening the door for you and pushing in your chair for you. Considering he's a little flustered that he is on a date with you, everything goes smoothly.

HUSKER:

He likes to stay in, but you can count that if you manage to get him to go out it's going to be a to a club or bar. Anywhere with alcohol. He'd much rather prefer a bar, since it's usually... lower in energy. He also isn't much of a Valentine's person, and he does show his disdain. He does tone down on talking negatively about the day around you, so there's that at least. A simple night in with an affirmation of love is enough for Husk.

NIFFTY:

She bakes you something and perhaps sews you something. A red throw pillow in the shape of a heart. Though you may have to tell her that's what you want because otherwise she's going to try something akin to the roach crown.... shivers... The baked goods are actually pretty good, and you'll be snacking on them for the rest of the week due to Niffty getting too excited and making too many. She will stab someone with a needle if they try to take one without asking you first.

LUCIFER:

He also goes all out, it might actually be a little overwhelming! He can conjure nearly anything he can think of, if his song was being literal! He wants to make sure you're loved, and that there's no possible way that you would ever think otherwise. Despite this he might rather stay inside, or maybe alter the home to look more fancy to make a mock dinner. Generally very sweet and you will be drowning in gifts from the second you wake up to the minute you go to sleep. He also makes you breakfast in bed.

[girlwithadragonheart]

I need to yap desperately about one single gripe I have with this game. MAJOR MAJOR MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD read at your own discretion

The first half is me ranting about how much certain things mean to me and how impacted I was, and the actual gripe comes closer to the end.

I'll preface this by saying this post is about Varric's death and my rage and despair regarding it, but more so about my Rook's.

I've seen people who said they picked up on the hints about whatnot, who knew before the Fade Prison. I was not one of those people. I was so relieved when I saw him after the Prologue that I didn't think twice, because I knew that it would destroy me the second shit started going wrong.

I was already not having a good time when I started the game simply because Varric was getting older. I don't handle aging well or death, and his design showing his age, and the comments he would make about "getting too old for this" just made my heart break.

And then shit got worse. I sobbed disgustingly when that knife went into Varric's chest.

After Rook woke up from talking to Solas and she heard Varric, I was so gods damned relieved. And my Rook was better taken care of by Varric in that year she spent with him than she was in the rest of her entire life.

I cried from the end of Ghilan'nain's fight until the romance scene and on and off after that. I got so used to visiting Varric just to be comforted by his presence. Inquisition was the biggest part of my life for a year and a half when I was just a kid.

I did really bad middle school age writing for it but regardless of the quality, those characters were built up in my head becoming even more than they were in the game. Varric was my biggest support character through everything I was going through at the time.

I don't talk about it much, but I didn't have a great childhood, and I know a lot of people didn't, but I coped with it through writing and video games. Varric was the one supporting me through the abuse I suffered and writing was the way I processed how bad things really were.

When Rook was in the prison she said "What am I going to find here?" And Varric said "I think you already know, kid." I DIDN'T until he said that. The second he said that my entire chest tightened and I just said "No" out loud as I watched Rook find his body.

Now for my real complaint!!!

Rook never gets the chance to grieve Varric. They go from talking to him every day to finding out he's dead and it was all a lie. I have personally never been more fucking pissed at Solas than I am now. But Rook comes back and they have that kind of "closing off" scene with Varric's empty bed (which was so hard to go through btw). And then they fuck their pookie LIKE I CANNOT BE THE ONLY ONE UPSET ABT THAT

FYM I gotta find out my dad is dead and then Rook is up for boning like there's no fucking way unless it's to cope. And at least pertaining to the Lucanis romance, Rook is processing everything that happened and they can say "So much has happened, I just don't know how to feel."

And rather than getting to process that in some kind of way, the devs said nah this scene serves one singular purpose, and Lucanis says "I do" and then dicks them down.

Personally, I felt very dismissed despite being overjoyed about finally having the romance scene, I couldn't even enjoy it with everything that happened prior.

Rook deserved the chance to completely break down after everything they went through. Tbh i don't know how they kept it together. Varric said "don't get all misty eyed" and i thought to myself that's way too delicate a term for what's happening here, I was fully ugly crying.

Fuck your "I had a good run" I still need you bitch.

All this to say I'm very upset, and I'm running my second playthrough and every time I look at, hear, or talk to Varric I tear up again. Wtf Bioware.

Rook should've gotten the chance to actually talk about what Solas did to them, especially in the sense that he made them believe Varric was still there. Or at least get to properly grieve the person who was their closest friend for a long time.

I have very strong feelings about this obviously

[queenie-ofthe-void]

A Desperate Fool - Part 3

Part 2

The comfort is here! This is just a morsel of the Nancy chapter, which means even MORE comfort with a pinch of angst.

~~~

It took a few weeks after Max and Lucas’s surprise visit for Eddie to work up enough courage to fly to Boston to knock on his sister's door-- technically sister from another mister, but he doesn't think that matters much.

Nancy's always believed in him, encouraged him to follow his passions no matter where it took him. Because even if you try and fail, Eddie, then at least you tried, and she’d always be there to catch him. In this case, maybe his passions took him a little too far.

It’s been almost eight months since they’ve talked, and he’s worried she won’t be there this time. Nancy is the fiercest person he knows, ready to stand up for what’s right regardless of the consequences. Hell, it’s what made her such a successful journalist. 

Which is why he’s worried he’ll buckle under the same scrutiny. This isn't a little mistake she can lecture away. Eddie has well and truly fucked up. If he could barely get through conversations with Robin and Max and Lucas, he has no idea how to navigate a conversation with Nancy Wheeler when she wants answers.

Before he can chicken out, the door’s ripped open by the woman herself. She’s different than he remembers. Her hair’s grown out, long and straight without her signature perm. The light pink pajama pants and matching pink slippers soften her edges. She looks good, aside from the bloodshot eyes.

This counts the fourth time Eddie’s ever seen Nancy cry: her freshman year when their cat died, a particularly nasty blow out between her and Mike before she moved for college, and two years ago when Jonathan finally proposed– happy tears, thankfully.

Now she’s standing here, staring at him through red-rimmed eyes and drowning in an oversized Corroded Coffin crewneck. He’s absolutely gutted at the sight. Only the fourth time she’s ever cried, and it’s his fault.

Another hard reminder of his many mistakes.

“Nance, please, can we talk?” He doesn’t know what to say that’ll fix it, but he has to try, she’s too important not to.

She suddenly throws herself at him, practically choking him with the grip of her arms around his neck, and for a moment he thinks she’s about to fight him. But her hand’s cradling the back of his head, and her other’s fisted in the back of his jacket. 

Nancy clings to him and shoves her nose into the crook of his neck. He wraps her up in a fierce hug in return, holding her as she shakes against him.

“Edward James Munson,” she says, forcing the words out around the tears, “I am so, so fucking mad at you.” Nancy lets go of his shirt just to emphasize her point by socking him in the shoulder. Only to grab at him again, like he’ll disappear if she lets go.

“I know, Nancy. I’m sorry.”

She coughs, and Eddie can feel where her tears have soaked his hair through, sticking it uncomfortably to his neck. “I missed you so much.”

He lets out a ragged sigh of relief. She still loves him, even after everything he’s done. Nancy Wheeler is too good for him– the whole world, really– but especially him. He doesn’t deserve someone like her, a sister like her, but he’s also selfish. So he holds onto her tighter, hoping that when he lets go she doesn’t change her mind

She leans out of his grasp to look him in the eye. He doesn’t know what she finds, but Nancy eyes are soft around the edges, filled with love, and she shoves his shoulder again. Not hard though, so she laughs when he dramatically falls backwards clutching his afflicted arm to his chest. He moans and groans, bottom lip jutted out in a firm pout as he bats his eyes at her, waiting for an apology.

“You’re such an asshole,” she says, but she’s smiling at him now and holding out her hand to help him up. He takes it, of course he does. Eddie relaxes, knowing that even though it's his fault she's cried, Nancy Wheeler will always be there to catch him whem he falls- metaphorically at least.

~~~

Part 4

[transfemlogan]

idk if you were being serious lol, i have trouble with tone. but whats wrong with some of the ts critters?

which ones are "right" and whos just "shitting on anything"?

i am finally off of work & just ate a sandwich so now i can finally talk abt this.

please note: I am referring to a small group of fans within the critical side of things.

On both sides of the community, no one (hyperbole) can ever settle with a middle ground or have any sort of grey area. it's always extreme. it's always "thomas is the worst person ever & all of his actions r terrible" or "thomas is the best person ever & all of his actions are good", when in actuality human beings are complex and cannot be contained in one absolute or another.

Some TSS critical fans focus on things that absolutely do not matter or have the most wild takes I've ever seen. I was one in a sasi critical discord server awhile back and everyone was complaining about Thomas' posting his clothed ass on instagram ... he quite literally underpaying his employees. i think one of these is more important than what he does with his own body.

and the thing is there are some things that he does in regards to his body that IS weird, such as: why is he posting sexually as velma, a teen character, on his patreon which (at the time, idk if it is still now) is not age restricted.

but him posting himself in a spiderman suit where if you look REALLY hard you can "see his underwear" is not the biggest issue in the world. or him not wearing a dance belt in the same costume. sorry, but actually i think you're the weird one if you're focused so heavily on how his genitals look in cosplay! the way you guys talk about it is lowkey leaning towards sexual harrassment, and I don't know if Thomas has an opinion on it or not, but's its incredibly weird regardless.

Shitting on thomas & co, current & past, employees for breathing. there's a new blog going around mentioning how they "hate brei" bcuz she "always starts drama" and the drama that they're talking about is her getting laid off... like. thats not drama, i think an artist is allowed to speak about their experiences with a certain job.

I feel like certain TSS critical fans have such an unrealistic view on creators, in the same way certain non-critical fans do. where non-critical fans think he shouldn't be held accountable for anything that he does, critical fans think every single thing he does is inherently evil or whatever.

"thomas shouldn't be attacking people in his twitter replies" this is an inherently true statement, however there's certain things that really depend on what's happening.

What is this person saying under thomas' posts? Who is saying it? How is thomas reacting specifically?

someone who comments unhelpful & rude ass comments underneath thomas' posts, such as infantalising him by telling him "thomas, thomathy, my sweet child, learn how to wear a skirt!!!" does in fact deserve some heat back because that's fucking weird. telling thomas advice on how to pose for a photoshoot is also probably fucking weird. but a child (or even an adult) commenting how much they miss sanders sides because it's been 4 years? that's fine and deserves a lot more compassion than thomas gives them.

& then you see how some people dm him about certain things or comment on his posts about it, when none of it is warranted. yes it's fucking weird for you to dm him, a REAL HUMAN BEING, and tell him to "hurry up and finish the fucking video"!!!! but its ALSO weird for him to post your username publically knowing how big his fanbase is and knowing how they will react.

im sorry but some fans are, in fact, fucking rude ass cunts. & thomas is allowed to tell you to fuck off. but its important to know when thomas is allowed to do that and when some fans are not being rude ass cunts. thats the point of critical thinking.

and there is some entitlement within the critical side of the community. yes thomas does owe his fans things, no he doesn't owe you certain things.

it's not surprising that he gives sasi upsets on his patreon, it's almost like that's what the point of a patreon is. but he does owe those patreon users something, since they are paying him Money For promised content that never comes.

it's not surprising that he got upset you provided unwanted critique on how he's posing? in a photoshoot? and then didnt... "credit you for the advice" ... thats not exactly how advice works. he does not owe you that. But it is weird how he does take from fan creation and headcanons. after Joan (& thomas, im pretty sure) talked about how they don't like reading fanfiction because they don't want to steal from fans, only to go on and make logan's eyes orange.

(note: i do not know what that user's advice even was, since they never go in depth about it. so maybe it was warranted some credit and not a rude response, but i have no idea so I am going off what I know.)

A lot of fans, again on both sides of the community, think it's a very black & white situation. if one thing applies then everything else does to, when in actuality like .... situations are more complex than you guys expect.

sometimes there's just not a lot of nuance or fucking thinking that goes into some of these takes, and it's one of the reasons I dislike looking at TSS critical blogs now. its why i dislike the concept of a "critical discord server", because no one here can use critical thinking.

i want nuanced, intriguing takes and criticism. not random fucking baseless hate just because you want to shit on him. its annoyingggg!!!

[chaosnojutsu]

Who *Should* Have Died From The Konoha ~12 Instead Of The One Who Did

rules:

we’re assuming they die under the same circumstances as the other guy

each one listed would have a complete storyline and their death would further the immediate plot as well as the overall narrative

i’m not “just picking characters i don’t like”

i do not condone killing characters for the sake of shock value but am considering shock as a legitimate tool in generating impact of a character’s death

miss me with “[redacted]’s death was a tragic result of the shinobi system” because no it was not. if that were true you could sub out [redacted] for any other child soldier and get the exact same impact. we know exactly why they were chosen and it’s got an (insufficient) explanation irl and in-universe.

#3. Sai

Motivation: Friendship

First of all, imagine the shock value from killing one of THE Team Kakashi members.

Cool. Now imagine Naruto’s shock at Sai sacrificing himself for him.

Sai overanalyzes normal human interaction to the point of not understanding it. He reads books about how to befriend people. He still doesn’t understand it all the time but friendship is coming more naturally to him these days. What he does understand is that Naruto is the only chance of winning this war, and he’s down, and the enemy is aiming for him, and Hinata is trying to stop them but she’s on the ground, the spears are in the air and so is Sai, and Naruto is his friend.

He doesn’t need to think about it much deeper than that.

Now imagine Sasuke “What Does ‘Friend’ Mean To You” Uchiha witnessing this, witnessing Naruto’s reaction, and the further effects this may have on his character. After all, Sai was his replacement. If Naruto feels this strongly about losing someone who was decidedly not him but his friend and teammate nevertheless then… maybe.

#2. Rock Lee

Motivation: Youth

Regardless of *how* this one plays out, no one wants to watch the determined, precious, comedic relief die; no one who’s watched this far into the show wants Rock Lee specifically to die. Huge impact already. But we can make it super duper sad because he deserves a memorable death. I see it going one of two ways.

One: Hinata doesn’t even have the time to try to shield Naruto because Rock Lee is faster. Ten-Tails barely launches the attack and Lee’s already taken/attempted to counter the hit. Perhaps this is his eight gates moment. Similar to Sai, Rock Lee would cite the power of friendship in his dramatic death speech, but he also was just… doing his duty. Truly, if you’re in the “Neji was just another tragic child soldier” camp, Rock Lee is the prime example of what I mean when I say you could sub in any child soldier, which I know sounds paradoxical but stay with me. Rock Lee’s entire personality is training harder than anyone else to benefit a system that will ultimately result in his death. If you want to make a point about child soldiers and needless lives lost, Rock Lee is the one to kill.

Two: Rock Lee doesn’t shield Hinata. He shields Neji. But not necessarily on purpose. The scene plays out exactly as written up to the moment Neji activates his byakugan, and the next frame isn’t him falling to the ground, it’s Rock Lee. The usually-somewhat-reserved Neji is devastated, probably in tears, demanding to know why he would do something like this. Rock Lee coughs up a bit of blood. “I was faster than you.” Smile. “I finally beat you…” Serene eyes fall shut. “…rival.”

And now imagine Naruto’s reaction to losing Bushy Brow. Imagine him watching Gai be brought to his knees by a blow that didn’t physically touch him. Imagine Madara incorrectly perceiving that. The implications. The foreshadowing.

#1. Shino

Motivation: Legacy

I’m gonna be real, the writers were never gonna kill off Rock Lee like that, which is the biggest reason Shino has taken the crown as Most Worthy Of A Tragic Death in my book.

This dude has a connection to both Naruto and Hinata (making him equally as good a sacrifice as Neji if that’s the canon criteria). However, unlike most other (male) characters, Shino isn’t shown to have a particularly close friendship with Naruto. The one recurring joke around Shino is that he’s so irrelevant even Naruto can’t remember his name.

But he is good friends with Hinata. And he knows she’ll spend the rest of her life miserable if Naruto dies, and that if she dies right now she will never have gotten her life’s greatest wish.

So Shino goes out in a blaze of glory, and we’ll probably insert something about how Naruto has somehow secretly inspired him all along— or maybe something cynical about how he always wanted to be included by Naruto but never was unless Kiba or Hinata were around, so he’s sacrificed himself to maintain the livelihood of everyone else while not “losing” that friendship himself— and we of course get the touching moment with Hinata (oh just imagine the drama if Shino lay dying and told Hinata “Why did I protect you? It’s simple. The reason is… for the same reason you protected him.” and we find out that the huge secret crush of the show was not Hinata toward anyone, but Shino toward Hinata, never confessing because he knew it would be futile).

Good luck forgetting his name now, Naruto. Now no one will ever forget about Shino Aburame.

[professoruber]

Quick thoughts on MAWS depiction of Krypton

My Adventures with Superman Spoilers

Okay so I've really been enjoying My Adventures With Superman (I recently re-watched and caught up with the show) but honestly I am personally not the biggest fan of the depiction of Krypton and Kara.

Disclaimer I am not a big comic expert and am still something of an novice, especially with Superman stuff, but I am slowly broadening my horizons.

Some things I like about Superman is the parallels to the story of Moses as well as the general immigrant story. Superman Smashes the Klan is one of the comics I've read so far and I really liked how it explored those latter themes.

So I guess I kinda feel that having Krypton be depicted as this imperialistic empire, especially one who was destroyed due the fights they picked, kinda undermines those parallels/themes? Granted, the immigrant story stuff can still very much be present regardless of the nature of Kryptonian society.

Perhaps it has something to do with my initial expectations that Kara would provide another view of Krypton to contrast the very negative impression which Clark had received from the very limited information he had received in the first season but uh...

While Kara is certainly a rather sympathetic individual, she is also certainly not exactly providing a better view of Krypton. Of course, I'd imagine as well that Primus Brainiac's version of Krypton is much worse than the original one.

(The reason why I had the theory is because I like the contrast between Superman and Supergirl, of the latter generally being depicted as having spent at least her formative years in Krytponian society, either Argo City or Krypton itself. Both are stories of immigrants, but with an interesting difference which makes them distinct in their experiences)

But we did hear from Jor-El that Krypton was indeed an Empire before its destruction (although... Clark's only able to have a proper conversation with Jor-El after the Brainiac systems of the ship had been explicitly activated... hm.)

As I said before, I am really loving MAWS and think its a very fun show. And I also do not want to criticise a show merely because it did not follow my exact personal expectations, that'd just be silly.

But I suppose that watching it has gotten me thinking about my personal thoughts on Krypton in general, and I feel like I might as well write it down.

The season's also not over yet, so there is a high possibility of more nuance being shown in Krypyton. Plus regardless of if Krypton was an empire, the regular civilians didn't deserve total destruction.

Anyway, MAWS is very good .Would recommend. And like I said, this is mostly my personal rambling of thoughts on Krypton and Kara. Can't wait to see the next episode!

Edit: kinda tired today but to slightly expand on my thoughts. I suppose in general I like the idea of Krypton with its own flaws and virtues. While MAWS could still very well show the better side of Krypton outside of Brainiac’s propaganda, it’s status as an imperialistic power which caused its own destruction through its conquests arguably would overshadow that somewhat.

Clark Kent was raised on Earth by the Kent Family. That’s who he is, where he got his values and how he was shaped into the man he is. But I also like him still nonetheless being able to be proud of his Kryptonian heritage and connect to it; being both Earthling and Kryptonian.

But in MAWS; between Jor-El’s A.I getting destroyed, Old Krypton being imperialist, New Krypton being ruled by Brainiac and Kara being a brainwashed war criminal, it leaves Clark with very little connection to Krypton and very little insight to what it was actually like as a society and culture and people.

And unless there’s further reveals about Kara’s backstory (although I do have a theory about that…), there’s a fair chance she won’t have much connection to Krypton once she gets freed from Brainiac’s comtrol. And what connection she does have right now is mostly negative and tainted by Brainiac.

Perhaps I am a bit pre-emptive in some of this and I do think there’s still plenty of room for the writers to expand on Krypton and what it was like and what lead to its empire and subsequent destruction. Regardless of what direction the writers take though, I am looking forward to seeing the show’s story progress!

[stardewpoesie]

I may be reaching here, but after watching emptiness and catharsis for many times, some sort of realization (?) struck me with this sequence. 

When the girls scream out their feelings, their positions into the frames are interesting. I think it had to do with the root of the pain they are dealing with being from an exterior or interior influence, or a mixture of both. 

How I interpret it: 

Tomo: her bluntness and seriousness in her art are what set her apart from her bandmates in the past. They couldn't take her calling out their incompetence with a good face, and so they quit. Tomo's solution to this was to silence herself and restrain herself from saying what she truly thinks. The pain she feels and she lets go of is that of vowing to never restrain herself from giving her real opinions again. Because there will be people who appreciate her for that blunt honestly. And thus my deduction is that the pain she lets go of/screams out had been root inside her. Which is why her face is all over the frame. 

Subaru: I think in a similar manner to Tomo, the root of her inner conflicts lie within her. She doesn't want to disappoint her grandmother, but what truly makes her sad is the lying. Lying to her grandmother, but mainly to herself. She was finally able to let go of that by introducing herself by name, being proud of what she is doing and truly allowing herself the choice to do as she wants. So the pain she was screaming out in the frame was also mainly internal. 

Momoka: Momoka's face is slightly panned out compared to Tomo and Subaru, with magenta lines shooting out. I think it represents her pain being both internal and external. Also, Magenta pink signifies deep passion. Momoka's character is complex, she's an artist who always believed in herself, started out strong with a full conviction of what she envisioned. But her agency wanted to rip her integrity as an artist from her, and her bandmates, although caring, chose to let her go in the end at the expense of her music. No matter how Momoka phrases her leaving the band, I think it still stands for some sort of betrayal, and even Momoka recognizes it. So Momoka's search for herself begins again, but it's exhausting, and seemed pointless for the longest time. Causing her burnout. I think Momoka was letting go of both her built-up cowardice and her past with Diamond Dust as both their bandmate but also an artist of that band.

Rupa: Rupa's frame is the most obvious for me. In her frame, the background takes almost as much space as she does. And I love the choice of the background being yellow, which symbolizes warmth and gentleness. Despite her life being so hard, she is still the gentle figure of the group. I believe it's obvious that with Rupa, the world has dealt her more pain than any person deserves. She lost her most important people, and it was unfair. The pain she screams out signifies her resolve to move on to live her life despite her grief. 

Nina: with Nina I am admittedly hesitant to draw a conclusion. Her face is all we see. But the bullying she suffered through should be an external pain. Throughout the past episodes, we see how the root of her pain is wondering whether her being who she is is either right or wrong. She knows she isn't wrong, but she wants to prove it. She wants to find herself. She admits to Momoka in the first episode that she came to Tokyo because she didn't feel like she belonged anywhere. 

I suppose, the root of her pain and what she was letting go of in that moment is the idea that she was born to exist in this world. Her lyrics in the song prove as much, she wants to live now. And even an episode before, when she told her sister she's happy as she is now. The acceptance that she could exist as she was is freeing to her. 

I don't know if this is an intended creative decision, but regardless I think Nina is so brave.  Her story isn't only about what she'd suffered, but how she came out of it. The outside world meant nothing if Nina knew who she was. And how she herself is the answer that she seeked all along, her own worthiness. 

[orion4ever]

hiii i was so happy to see a writing blog for our life!! thank you so much for sharing your writing with us.

could i request hcs for step 2 qiu / tamarack / cove with an mc who often gets into small fights with classmates? someone who doesn't instigate, but will escalate the situation to a fight.

Author’s note: Thank you for requesting! I am glad that people are finding my blog! There is a lack of Our Life fanfiction and I wanted to be able to fill it! ^^ I wrote this right after playing step 2! Sorry it took so long!

Pairings: Qiu Lin x MC , Tamarack Bauman x MC and Cove Holden x MC

🗒️🍂🐚

COVE HOLDEN🐚

He said something in Step 2, How he wouldn’t encourage you to fight but if they deserved it, then they deserved it 🤷🏽‍♀️

He does try and mediate and calm you down if you get into fights.

He gets really scared and worried when you do get in fights and will most likely try and calm you down.

Although…

If this person started it

Then who is he to stop, you right?

If you fought someone because they came after Cove or insulted him in any way

Then he’s a little shy about it, In an appreciative way!

I feel like Cove wouldn’t like someone who likes to pick fights with people so it's good that you don’t.

But if the person you are fighting starts escalating.. like doing more damaging punches or stuff then an emotional Cove would instantly punch them out of reflexes

And now you are both in trouble.

Cove is the best person to go to when you need to calm down after an intense fight!

He’d invite you to walk down the beach and just vent some energy away!

He does gently try and encourage you to find a new way to solve issues , like talking or just walking away.

QIU LIN🗒️

They could probably understand feeling the urge to fight someone.

If you got into a fight , Qiu would pull you off them and run away

so that you don’t get in trouble

If the person you got into the fight with deserved it then they would voice it out loud.

Qiu would talk with you about the fights ; if you are more rowdier then they wouldn’t be surprised

But if it was out of character for you then ;they be worried about it.

Qiu probably tried and convince your mom to let you off the hook or to lessen any punishment you might get from these fights.

If you fought someone because they said anything bad about Qiu or heck even Tamarack

Then they would feel kinda proud and a little bashful

Of course , Qiu wouldn’t admit it

At least not straight up anyway.

If you got hurt then they would feel bad about it.

This is only a maybe possibility but if you didn’t want to go to school the day after the fight , still feeling tense and mad about it

Then Qiu would suggest you two just skip and hang out somewhere

Even with their cold demeanor, they still care.

TAMARACK BAUMAN🍁

Omg no

Oh no no no

Tamarack would actually freak out so badly if you got into a fight with somebody.

She doesn’t want anyone , regardless of who or what they said to resort to violence

Maybe if she was still ten then she could justify or let it go

But Tamarack would be so disappointed

She’d be tense for the entire day until the two of you clear it up

She wouldn’t let you shelf it for later too, you two either discuss what happened or it doesn’t get talked about at all.

If you fought someone defending Tamarack then she would feel bad, thinking stuff like if she caused you to snap or something unreasonable

Would carry around bandages if this became a constant occurrence with you.

She would get really upset if you were punished for it.

Even if she was disappointed in the fact that you fought someone, she knows it be unfair if you did get in trouble for it.

She takes you somewhere quiet to let you cool off.

She cares about you alot.

[tarot-by-e11e]

Hello Elle how have you been dear, everything okay!? Hopefully yes and if not just know that sometimes we gotta rest back and observe a little allowing us to be just a human. Thankyou so much for opening this for us again, sending you strength and energy because I know how draining is to do this and especially these type l readings will require extra so better start hydrated and rest well.

"What mythical/fictional creature do you think or feel nearly embodies your dark side?"

-Well a really very intresting question but i really don't have a thing for fictional/mythology characters since I don't have watch a lot but if i were to say maybe I'd say Lilith!? Why because I've been drawn to her a lot some times you know and the things she loves and all if that makes sense. But somehow I feel I'm also someone who has boundaries and hyper independent not the type to serve someone or be submissive like to be free and myself regardless of how traditional & hopeless romantic I am. If that makes sense. Also she embodies dark feminine energy and is often misunderstood as something she's not & feel the same way.

My information; I'm Jasmine. Capricorn sun, Virgo moon and Taurus rising. (Tropical) She/her aka a women if that's needed too lol.

Thankyou so much dear have an absolutely amazing week ahead! Sending you good energy and love. 🫶🏻🤍✨🧿

*reblogging things too dw*

Hi Jasmine,

Thank you so much for participating in my Inner Demons ask game.

I wanna start by saying thank you so much for being so understanding and patient with me, especially when it comes to your reading request.

OMG, you chose Lilith! You must be quite the badass! If you resonated with Lilith, you must have gone through so much!

So the cards I pulled are: 10 of Swords, 6 of Cups, 2 of Cups

By, any chance, did you ever feel like you were forced to grow up to fast? Like you were robbed of your childhood? Were you punished for not being the perfect child? Were you punished for crying? Could also be parentified, looking after younger kids? Was the financial constraints of your family pressured you to not want to ask for anything? Were you used to hand-me-downs?

I'm here to tell you that, having felt frustrated, worn out almost livid, and short-tempered with others wasn't your choosing. You were barely left with any energy by the end of the day to even have the time to sit, reflect, and honor your feelings. You did what you could to survive, it wasn't perfect, so I'm not sure if it's any consolation to say this, the adult you are today was the person you would have run to and needed back when you were growing up.

Now, I'm in no shape or form have any intention of invalidating your experiences and pain. All I'm saying is, you're not that scared and hypervigilant, defenseless little kid anymore. You've grown through that chaos and you survived. Don't feel guilty about surviving, also don't dismiss and undermine the impact of all the things you've overcome in order to be the adult that you are today. With that, in my eyes, it seems you have the Inner Demon I call, "Diamond Soldier".

Now, it's not to say you deserve to go through hell and back; but the fact that you did, is something you should take pride in. Just remember, YOU did that. YOU survived! YOU have outlived all the days you thought would end you.

The resilience to persevere every trial and obstacle thrown at you since you were a kid, all those sleepless nights, fighting your inner demons and intrusive thoughts; all those external pressures have transformed you into the Diamond that you are today.

Now what you desire is a sense of comfort and relief; could be something familiar that had been your only form of solace during your turbulent upbringing. Maybe a feeling of being safe to exist. Safe to be yourself. To feel safe to be who you want to be. Safe to dream and pursue the life you had always dreamed.

And how you go about it while incorporating your brilliant perseverance is by adaptability and resourcefulness; of what you currently have and capable of, then strategize in a way that is both realistic and sustainable for your current lifestyle.

Let's say you grew in a chaotic household where screaming and shouting cuss words was deemed as a casual conversation. So you would want to live independently where you feel safe to exist, by making sure every single thing or aspect in your new apartment would collectively bring you a sense of calm, safety and security.

If loud noises trigger you, make sure your cabinets and doors are soft closes. If bright fluorescent lights trigger your fight or flight response, choose warmer and softer sources of lights. If it's food, then make sure your entire pantry is always fully stocked with your comfort food. This part has to be specifically curated to your particular needs.

So never forget that after this reading, you don't owe anyone any explanation on how much would you go out of your way, in order to feel safe to exist. Anyone who gets mad at you for establishing your healthy boundaries are the very traitors who benefits from your unexpected naivety.

This concludes the end of your reading. Do let me know how this resonates with you. Feel free to show some support via my Buy Me A Coffee here (This reading is for entertainment purposes only.)

[ewanmitchellcrumbs]

I know you are tired of being reminded of the whole mess that’s been going on. I had no idea what was going on until foxyanon told me cause I asked. The shock that went through me when I was reading ems post. I was decent friends with bel and interacted a lot with her. Had no idea how vile those bloggers are, just damn right disgusting and rude. But I told em as well that I have nothing to do with what’s her face. I’m always here for you! This fandom needs some serious work done and rethinking. I’m screaming the biggest f you to her! I love your content even though I don’t say anything much. You’re wonderful and deserve better! 💗💗

Thank you for reaching out, and treating me like a human being. It is more than I currently deserve. I will place the rest of my response beneath a cut, as it will be quite long and I'd like to give people the option to scroll past, as they are doubtless tired of all of this, and rightly so.

Yes, the behaviour of that group is despicable, but I cannot downplay the gravity of my own in that.

I had a longstanding block with two users (I am not going to use their online nicknames, I do not deserve to), arcielee and sylasthegrim, I said disgusting things about both of them - the screenshots of my messages regarding them both on the post you have doubtless all seen are real (so is the final screenshot where I mention an anon I had received telling me to die in my sleep, the rest of the screenshots in that post have been falsified, doctored or snipped heavily out of context to make them appear hateful - the doctoring has been confirmed by two individuals well versed in Photoshop)

I hold my hands up and apologise to both those people, and the people that have seen those messages and been harmed by them. They are inexcusable, indefensible and were guided by a false belief that those two people were being hateful in turn about me, and actively going out of their way to harm and spite me. I am unsure what Bel thought she had to gain by exacerbating the animosity between me and Em and those two women, regardless, we should have done the mature thing and reached out directly to them. I will say, that I have never once sent anonymous hatred to either person. The extent of my vitriol was confined to that group chat.

Bel also used slurs in the group chat (I would like to point out that myself, Em and Fae did not). I won't repeat what these were. I do not want those ugly words on my page. They made me uncomfortable and I called her out any time she used one in particular, but she always laughed off my discomfort and carried on anyway. She is mixed race, I am white, in my mind it is not my place as a white person to tell an ethnic minority what is racism and what isn't. There are enough white voices shouting down others in online spaces. I know better now. I should not let my own discomfort silence me. I will call out hatred, bigotry and discrimination in every instance that I see it. My past inaction is embarrassing, it's offensive and I am devastated by the hurt I have caused to others. I am so deeply sorry.

I didn't speak up for a long time, because I have seen what these people are like when they have a grudge against someone. It's frightening, I was a coward. Yet despite staying silent on all of it, I have been doxxed just the same. I suppose perhaps that's karmic retribution?

I appreciate that people have felt my response has been lacking, however, I was out of the country, away from home, from the 14th until the 22nd, with only my phone at my disposal and with the expectation from my husband that I would enjoy the vacation we were on, and not be online dealing with all of this.

I would like the opportunity to atone for my behaviour, to make amends. Currently, I feel I am not going to be given the opportunity to do that, and understandably so. Emotions are high, people are raw from what they have learned and they do not feel comfortable being around me.

Seeing the screenshots of the people in their group passing around my personal photos and saying incredibly vile things about my appearance triggered a lapse with the eating disorder that I am in active recovery for. I then had another a few days later. I need to take some time away to get myself well, as the fear and anxiety of all of this is taking its toll. I also need the space to deal with the legal action I will be exploring with regards to Chris having doxxed me. I am not running away. I simply need to get myself into a space where I am stable enough to handle all of this, be accountable, and take responsibility without my own emotions diminishing other people's.

I know people hate me right now, but it pales in comparison to how much I hate myself. I am so very sorry for allowing this to happen.

[the-genius-az]

Azula in this turns most of what she feels into anger, a quiet and cold anger, but anger nonetheless (she's taught that anger is what fuels firebending, and she needs to be the strongest firebender in history).

Azula is my blorbo, my little dragon, half of my fic ideas have her deeply traumatized, terribly injured or just actually dead.

Azula loses her pack, her destined mate and her cub. So she dresses up as the Kemurikage and basically goes out there taking orphan cubs and raising them with other people that lost as much as her. They're an unofficial pack (because neither her or the other alphas can claim a pack after their trauma), hurt adults taking care of children so these pups will never be hurt like them. See, I can make it heartbreaking and heartwarming at the same time.

I'll send a different ask about the whole "Mai loves or doesn't love Azula" of this AU (and actually of all the AUs where Maizula is a thing but Mai still betrays her).

The Boiling Rock is the worst day in Azula's life, poor girl.

Here's the thing: it's as happy as I can give Azula in this context. Because she'll never be "normal", not with childhood trauma, war trauma, asylum trauma. She's inherently a tragic character, her happy ending can be bittersweet at best.

Mai is pretty hurt, but she can understand. She knows that Azula even giving her a chance is much, much more than what she deserves after the boiling rock. So then Azula marries her, is willing to have a couple of kids, be present and ask for nothing but the possibility of Mai not leaving her again. Despite her bad days, despite the past, Azula is a good parent, a good mate, and Mai is thankful that Azula is in her life.

The thing with Zuko is that even breaking the bond, there's still something there, deep down. Zuko was the first person Azula claimed, the first person she wanted to protect. She still loves Ozai, after everything. She still loves Zuko, after everything. It's unconditional, her love is unconditional. All you need to do is exist. And Zuko regrets for the rest of his life for not loving her the same way, for being the person that abandoned her pack twice and being the reason she's so closed to having a pack again.

Yes. In this Aang is the first to come around and understand what she feels, since he also lost his entire pack (I'm not sure what he is, but losing a pack does affect anyone). The circumstances are different, but it's the same sense of broken emptiness. They meditate together a lot, silently grieving together. Aang is the closest to someone she feels safe around. A less tragic version and they'd be platonic mates, bonding over loss and mutual peace.

(I just really like post-war Azula befriending Aang.)

My name's Ash with A of "Angst" ☺️

- Ash 🔥🍌

Azula is my blorbo, my little dragon, half of my fic ideas have her deeply traumatized, terribly injured or just actually dead.

I'm like you! I am the same! everyone can check it! 🎶

So she dresses up as the Kemurikage and basically goes out there taking orphan cubs and raising them with other people that lost as much as her.

I can already imagine the first time Mai saw her Alpha dressed as a kemurikage, maybe that was why they had a second puppy.

See, I can make it heartbreaking and heartwarming at the same time.

I saw, shut up now. 🤧

Mai is pretty hurt, but she can understand. She knows that Azula even giving her a chance is much, much more than what she deserves after the boiling rock.

How did Mai feel when she saw how Azula accepted her again?

I bet in shock.

Despite her bad days, despite the past, Azula is a good parent, a good mate, and Mai is thankful that Azula is in her life.

What does Azula think of Mai? I know she loves him enough to accept him.

But I want to know about those good days, where both love each other regardless of the past.

After everything. It's unconditional, her love is unconditional. All you need to do is exist.

Ha! What does Iroh think about his niece and her OBVIOUS unconditional love that not even he and his beloved nephew have?

They meditate together a lot, silently grieving together. Aang is the closest to someone she feels safe around.

They meditate a lot together, they cry together in silence... they get drunk together while listening to bands, they almost get high on marijuana... it's difficult. 😮‍💨

A less tragic version and they'd be platonic mates, bonding over loss and mutual peace.

In this and that version Mai gets a little jealous, but she doesn't make a fuss because Aang is the other side of Azula's coin.

My name's Ash with A of "Angst" ☺️

Now I understand everything...Pay me for therapy, Ash! I'm not asking you, I'm ordering you!

I cried for two hours! and I wasted a lot of paper! My face hurts from crying so much, ash! 😭

[mybelovednick]

Crimson and Clover, Honey (Chapter 2)

Main Page

Previously

Nick Sturniolo x Male!character

Summary: Nick Sturniolo is a Bookstore owner in a small town in Northern Italy. Vayu Arora is an elementary school teacher who is a frequent customer at Nick's Store. Both of them meet and they are suppose to fall in love like faith intended. But what happens when one of them is unable to let go of their past selves?

Nick x male!character Angst Fluff/comfort Hurt/comfort

TW: Too corny ig, smoking (don't do it kids. it is not cool)

******

2

“I have no news. I live quietly, I love you and I wait.”

This quote has always been a mystery to me. I wouldn’t remember where I first read it, or from whom I had heard it. But it stuck with me, forever. Yearning makes a person susceptible to the madness of love. If you yearn for something or someone, the line between love and obsession becomes blurry.

It was a lovely Friday evening. The breeze was just right as the clouds swiftly danced across the violet sky. The sun was about to set but the moon was already up. Tara invited us to her family restaurant to celebrate her grandpa’s seventy-second birthday.

Nate rode my red Vespa, with me on the back while holding onto his waist for dear life; because to him, my vehicle was a race car and the world was a Drag race. We reached Tara’s restaurant an hour late, regardless of the death race.

“You bitches were supposed to be here half an hour prior to the party and you reached in hour late. Explain, now” Tara was fuming.

“Yell at Vayu, if he had dressed up a little quicker we would be here so much earlier.”

“What? You were the one throwing a tantrum like fucking baby after seeing me wear the same coral shirt that you are wearing now! Of course I had to change into a boring black one.” I tried to defend myself.

“Not my fault I look better in coral.”

“Nathan I swear to God-“

“Okay fine, Jesus!” Tara yelled at us again. (We deserved it), “Let’s go inside and hurry up, Grandpa is waiting for you guys.”

“Awe I missed you Jeremy.” Nate cooed from behind as we entered the room and everyone cheered.

The restaurant was not a very fancy one. But it did feel like home. I’ve always loved Tara and her grandparents, Jeremy and Lizzy. Frank Sinatra was playing in the background because Jeremy loved Sinatra, “Play his songs in my funeral” he’d say every time.

Tara, Nathan and I were the only ones who were not above the age of fifty-five. We all wished Jeremy ‘Happy Birthday’ and Lizzy kissed him, to which all of us cheered like monkeys in a zoo. I loved watching people smile. I loved watching people enjoy their time. Tara was in charge of the food and overall party. I was on tea duty, i.e. ensuring that every single person had their tea cups filled up to the brim. It wasn’t a difficult task considering there were barely over twenty people in the party. Yes, tea in Italy is a bizarre concept but apparently Lizzy can’t stand the smell of coffee and ever since she visited Darjeeling with her husband, she has been addicted to this beverage.

Nathan? Well he was busy impressing Lizzy’s friends. Those sixty-year old ladies loved him for some reason. “Oh you look ravishing today, Demi. And you too! Rebecca, that hair is flawless, Jim is a lucky guy.”  Who am I kidding? Everyone loved Nate.

I was simply observing them, holding the warm tea kettle close to my chest; almost zoning out in the process.

Perhaps this is what love is after all; watching people you love fall in love with other people you love.

Being in love on the other hand, will always be strange, no matter how many times you’ve experienced it in your life. It is like falling in love with the moon. It looks beautiful from afar and even more tempting in theory. But no matter how many songs or poems you write about it, it will remain absurd in practicality to be in love with the moon. And you feel like the ocean, reflecting the image of your beloved moon in your turbulent waves just to get a glimpse of it. Even during the most intense storms in your life, you strive to keep your water as still as possible to catch your beloved in the reflection. It is the madness, and obsession that we humans love to bask in. This madness is love; and this love is strange.

“Yoohoo! Vayu! Tea boy, fill this up please.” Lizzy called for me raising her cup. I quickly nodded and rushed towards her. But as I was about to pour her up, she held me by my wrist and sat me down beside her. She was one strong woman for someone claiming to be suffering from arthritis.

“So, who’s the boy?” Lizzy asked in a sing-song tone.

“What? Tara told you?” I panicked.

“Oh dear, no. I just noticed that you seemed pretty distracted there and you have a glow to your face.” Lizzy said and I had to smile, how could I not? “See? You are so giggly and smiley like that. You should smile more often, you look even more handsome.” Lizzy winked.

“Well, I’d have to be a psychopath to be able to resist smiling when you say stuff like that.” I knew my face lit up like a Christmas tree at that point.

“Well, I mean it baby boy.” She held my hand carefully, “Now tell me about this man.”

I raised my eyebrow when she scooted herself closer to pay attention. She was determined to get me married to a nice man because…Honestly? I don’t know.

“Well he works at the bookstore. The one near the Marylyn street.”

“Oh I go there sometimes, I think. Is it the Libreria del Sentiero ?”

“Yes! That’s the one! Wait, do you know the guy who works there?”

“I think I have met that gentleman quite often. He comes here to get a cup of black coffee and abrownie. He is such a sweet man, and he sure does love my brownies.”

“No one could ever not like your brownies, Lizzy.” I smiled at her and she smiled back, “So, uhm… is he here often?”

I could feel her grin growing on her face. “Yes, Nick does come here on Wednesdays and Fridays.”

Nick.

Short for Nicolas, maybe. It does suit him. I remembered thinking that immediately.

Just then Lizzy’s eyes lit up. “Oh goodness, Look at that! He is standing right there, near his motorbike just along the parking. This is a sign! Vayu. Go now!” She was practically jumping in her seat while shoving my shoulders to push me out of the chair.

“But the party-“

“Fuck this party.”

Goddamn, this old lady was not playing.

She touched my cheek and kissed it quickly, “Look, V. You deserve to be happy, it is not a crime. Stop being so kind to the world and so harsh to yourself. Love doesn’t show up at your doorstep, you know? You need to chase it. Even if it doesn’t work out, you don’t get stuck in a world of what ifs. Nick is a good man. He is worth taking a chance.”

I hugged her and bid her goodbye. “Thank you.” I whispered mostly to myself. I made an excuse to get out of the party and pushed the door open.

He was standing a few meters away. I felt like I was in a romcom movie. Maybe it was because of the stars in the sky or the warm fairy lights right outside the restaurant window. Or it could be because I was willing to take a chance again.

Nick was wearing a bright red vest and a black leather jacket with black jeans. His shades were tucked on top of his messy blonde hair. And he had a pack of Marlboro in his hand. I walked towards him, still unsure of my footsteps.

God, he is beautiful.

“Need some help with the lighter?” I tried to be casual.

“Yeah, sure.”

He was so nonchalant that it was almost infuriating. He handed me his green lighter and I helped him light up his cigarette.

I watched him take a deep drag out of that cigarette. He closed his eyes and let out the smoke through his mouth and nose. He was leaning against his bike with his arms crossed. He watched the cigarette getting eaten up by the reddish-orange flame, firmly placed between his fingers.

Nick quickly bit into his own cigarette lightly with his lips and held the pack of Marlboro towards me while raising his eyebrows, gesturing if I needed one too.

“I am good, thank you.” I instantly replied.

He rolled his eyes.

Cocky bastard.

A few moments passed. It was really awkward too. I felt like pushing myself off a cliff. But I noticed a few things; he was just a few centimetres shorter than I was. However, nobody could deny that he was built. I actually felt like a twig beside him.

“Vayu, right?”

I thought I was going to combust with joy. “You remember me?”

“Of course I do. Who else would buy one of Shakespeare’s best classics with a fucking Porn magazine?”

If it were someone else, I would have knocked their teeth out (breaking my knuckles in the process.). But I saw a beautiful smile starting form in his face. He was really proud of what he said.

And I was glad I met him once again.

"You should smile more often." I blurted out. Nick looked at me with furrowed eyebrows. But soon his expressions relaxed a bit.

"Then make me." he said

*******

Next Chapter

A/N: I promise there will be more nick in the upcoming chapters

p.S. I love Lizzy

Tag: @ohmtoff @freshloveforthefit @miloisdone1 @nicksfavhoe @heyitsmemia @neo404 @matty-bear2 @thenickgirl @loud-sturniolos @maria4mari @solarsturniolo @darl1ngdr1sta @tkhzs @soursturniolo @certifiednatelover

[tacticalgrandma]

minthara, “you don’t mean that, do you?”

The devil Mizora is unexpectedly merciful and tells Wyll Ravengard when his father dies. Minthara would have thought to dangle the hope before him, leave him in the agony of uncertainty, drive him to beg just to know. But perhaps Mizora has decided to truly be done with the man once their business is concluded. Minthara can see the wisdom of that as well. Finally, Wyll Ravengard is a man one can be afraid of. 

He does not act it now. He weeps into Karlach’s arms. The poor girl just holds him and looks lost, and tells him every truth she knows: that his father would not want to trade his life for Wyll’s, that Wyll’s father didn’t deserve him after everything he’d done to Wyll, that Wyll deserves life. Only the last one gives him pause, and Minthara thinks that it is no comfort. Karlach is fleeting proof that deserving life matters very little. 

He asks for space when the spawn tries to speak with him. Astarion assents and watches Wyll as he leaves their suite, even as the others tactfully look away. 

“What the hells do you think you’re doing?” Astarion spits as Minthara moves to follow Wyll. 

She does not respond. She does not fear him. When he scrambles up to her and puts a hand on her shoulder, Minthara does not turn around. 

“I will speak to him,” she says. “You should let me.”

Astarion drops his hand. Minthara thinks she hears a disgusted noise as she closes the door in his face. 

She finds Wyll on the tavern’s rooftop garden, because surfacers’ habits are entirely predictable. They always believe being up high, high enough to see anything coming, will save them. Minthara tilts her head to the highest point of their view, Wyrm’s Rock, where the new Archduke was crowned by Ulder Ravengard. She follows Wyll’s gaze down to the Chionthar. Mizora had said his father’s body fell to its bottom. 

“You should not feel ashamed,” Minthara says. Wyll looks over his shoulder at her. Minthara had been expecting his righteous indignation, but he just looks tired. 

“Shouldn’t I?” he says. “After all, he didn’t die by own hand. I’d think that’d be embarrassing in drow culture.”

It shocks a chuckle out of Minthara. He does not so much as smile. She sits down beside him. 

“Sons are not held to the same standards as daughters,” Minthara says, “and patricide is never as potent as matricide.”

“I suppose I killed my mother too,” Wyll says. Minthara stares at him. “She died in childbirth.”

She was a fool to get her hopes up. The statement is too stupid to scold him over, and in any case his self-flagellation is half-hearted at best. Someone has already disabused him of this fantasy, and he is tending to scars instead of fresh wounds.  

“Your father drew the ire of a god’s Chosen and a devil,” Minthara says. “He was a dead man the moment the tadpole entered his eye. Even if you had somehow found the man and wrested him from Gortash’s clutches, Mizora would have hounded the both of you until he was dead.”

“I could have protected him,” Wyll says. “I could have killed her.”

“More likely he would have died regardless.”

“Can you leave?”

“Not yet,” Minthara says, “but you’re right. Such speculation is pointless. Your father is dead and you are alive.”

“Please go,” Wyll says.

“You don’t want that, not truly,” Minthara says. “You need me. I am the only person who, when I tell you I do not judge you, you will believe me.”

Fresh tears well up in Wyll’s eyes. Minthara refuses to hug him. She doubts she would be as good at it as Karlach, in any case. She waits until his sobs have subsided somewhat, and she thinks he will hear her.

“Your father did not blame you for your mother’s death,” Minthara tells him. And Wyll nods. 

“He didn’t talk about her much,” Wyll says. “But I think the times he told me I took after her, those were the times he was proudest of me.”

Minthara scoffs. Her mother had only ever identified the ways Minthara was still inadequate compared to her. It had told Minthara what to train, how to surpass her. It had made her strong. 

“How soft of him,” she says. “Were you a drow daughter and he a matron in Menzoberranzan, you would have triumphed there as well.”

Wyll studies her for a moment, then nods.

“I miss him too,” Wyll says. “They’re going to keep telling me he didn’t deserve me saving him, after what he did to me. And that’s—” He half-laughs, half-sobs. “I fucking hate that.”

“They will say many stupid things in the coming days,” Minthara agrees. “Nothing they can say will make you feel any better about anything.” 

“Okay,” Wyll says. He wipes tears from his eyes.

“Nothing they say will change anything.”

“Yeah. Okay.” 

Minthara stands and dusts off her trousers. “Your father is dead and you are not,” she tells Wyll. “Once you accept that, come downstairs. We will be waiting.”