#because she deserved that much; regardless of how the person i am now feels about her; and the evidence that she was there.

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

one reason i'm grateful a) to have been getting into treating my meta as An Art Form as much as fanfic/art/etc, and b) that there's an import function for that on AO3, is that i write very little prose these days, and Actually Having Substantial Things to Post helps me get past the stumbling block of 'well there's nothing much worth going to the trouble for anyway, is there' to the 'alright let's address all the other baggage that makes using AO3 so emotionally fraught for you bud' step (staircase.)

[dalishious]

About Davrin's little blurb on the official website for Dragon Age: The Veilguard...

"Though he was raised in a Dalish clan, he craved excitement and adventure. He'd rather make history than reflect on it."

There's actually a lot to unpack about these two sentences.

First off, placing the word "though" in front of being "raised in a Dalish clan", gives such a thing a negative connotation. The word "though" is used in a way that sounds like "despite", as in, somehow wanting excitement and adventure must go against being Dalish. This correlates with sentence that follows. "He'd rather make history than reflect on it." The word "rather" is yet again used to separate Davrin from his Dalish origin. All together, this promotional description of Davrin is insisting that he is "not like other Dalish".

Now, obviously the game is not out yet, so we do not have total confirmation on what the nature of Davrin's relationship to his culture is really like. But there is absolutely something to be said about promoting the character this way, regardless of however he actually turns out in game. There is absolutely something to be said about how, as @/the-eldritch-it-gay put in their tags here, why do writers feel the need to make fantasy minorities hate or distance themselves from their culture? As a selling point?

Maybe this is completely misleading bullshit, maybe it isn't. All we have to go by, is what BioWare chose to say here, and their past track record with elves:

Zevran may talk about his mother in a font way, but he still has the line, "Too many of our kind think we deserve pity simply because we have failed to defend ourselves."

Velanna is one of the two elves we've had who is overtly proud of her culture, yet she is treated like she is unreasonable and too angry because of it.

Merrill too, is proud of being an elf, and of being Dalish. The story punishes her left and right for this, treats her like a child, and in the end she is either ostracized from her clan or they end up dead because... she cared too much?

Fenris has pretty much zero engagement with elven cultures, and spends his time ridiculing Merrill for being proud of hers.

Solas complains about the Dalish from the start, and says plainly that he does not see himself as having anything in common with elves of current time. "Oh, you mean elves" he says, when the Inquisitor asks how he feels about his people; the thought does not even occur to him.

Sera is... Sera is a character who could have been a really interesting examination of overcoming internalized racism, if she was written by someone competent with the subject. Instead, she just cringes at everything "too elfy" through the entire main game, and only has a single line in Trespasser that hints that she may have a personal struggle going on. But it's still left unresolved.

That's a lot a lot of negativity. So of course seeing a suggestion that more is to come with Davrin has people wary and tired.

Let us also consider the fact that Davrin is overtly Black as well, and what that means. Acting as if one must disregard history in order to make it, as his description so claims, is bullshit. It sounds too much like promoting gentrification/assimilation in my opinion; the idea that you cannot keep your culture if you want to be successful.

I also think that it goes even deeper, on a meta level - I think that BioWare is afraid people will not be able to like or relate to Davrin, if he is "too ethnic". I think that BioWare is taking this Black character and instead of questioning how he can best represent marginalized fans - particularly Black fans - they are questioning how to make him more relatable to white fans. And the only answer to that is to, of course, make him seem like he is an exception to marginalization through separating him from his people.

I am still holding onto hope that Davrin will overall be an interesting, well-written character. And I sure as hell will still be defending him from the people who are already hating on him or ignoring him completely because of their racialized biases. But that does not exempt BioWare, and specifically his writer, John Dombrow, from any criticism. This is not about Davrin the character, this is about BioWare the company's handling of Davrin the character. And in that regard, they're not off to a great start with this.

[krakenartificer]

Who wants a really sad Leverage headcanon?

Was re-watching the Gimme a K Street Job -- Season 5 Episode 5 -- and a couple of things stood out to me.

1) Nate says "Let's go steal some congresspeople", and then sends everyone on the team (except Parker, who's being a cheer coach) out to con one of their targets. But it feels like there's a profound mismatch in who gets which mark.

For the "not like other girls" feminist congresswoman who's inclined to dismiss cheer as worthless and demeaning, you need Eliot to come in looking like a man who very much knows what does and does not count as a sport, and be his tiny angry respect-women-juice self about how regardless of what you think of their choice of clothing they are working as hard as any other athlete and they deserve safety as much as anyone else. But instead they sent Hardison.

For the "Yes I am very busy and important; admire me" chairman, you need Sophie, who is better than anyone else on the planet at making you feel admirable when you're doing what she wants, and scummy and low when you're not doing what she wants. But instead they sent Eliot.

For the "Look I am trying, but I need corn subsidies or I won't be able to do anything else" newbie congressman, Hardison could happily have gone on an infinitely recurring series of fetch quests until he sees the place where they loop around and bottom out and every problem solves every other problem. But instead they sent Sophie.

2) Eliot struggles the most, so Nate works with him the most, but he doesn't help him out hardly at all; he just keeps saying, "So what's your next play?" and then revealing that he's already anticipated Eliot's next play and has all the materials in place to enact it. And of course, they do eventually get the dude on board, and it all works out, but afterwards, Eliot tells Nate, "I trust that some time soon you'll tell me why you had me slogging through all that when you already knew how to hook him."

And of course, knowing what we now know about how season 5 ends, it makes sense that Nate is trying to train the OT3 to work without him, looking for his replacement.

Except.

If the plan is to fuck off into the sunset with Sophie, then why did he throw Sophie into this uncomfortable not-my-wheelhouse scenario?

No, Nate's preparing the entire team to carry on without him. He's forcing them to learn how to plan, learn different ways of approaching problems, to think about bigger pictures and approach them strategically.

...

I think Nate just got the first diagnosis of the disease that's finally going to kill him. And again, we -- the audience -- now know that he's going to live for many years after that initial diagnosis. But he doesn't know that, at this point. He knows he's tested positive, and he knows it's eventually going to kill him, and he has no idea how long he has.

And in some sense, it doesn't matter how long he has. Three months or thirty years, that kind of revelation makes it stunningly clear that taking care of the people you love means making sure that they can take care of themselves.

So that's what he does: he throws them into new, uncomfortable situations where they'll have to grow and support each other without him, so that no matter what happens, they'll be able to keep going. Because he's not a nice person, Jimmy Ford's son, but by God does he know the importance of protecting your family.

[schrodinger-swriter]

The main cast of Hazbin hotel on Valentine's day

I know I may be a little late. I had to do some shopping today and hadn't had the motivation or time to get down and write until now! I apologize is some characters are given more writing than others... the truth is that I am bised for some characters or simply have more for them. :C

Regardless I hope you enjoy these, I likely won't do these large posts very often.

CHARLIE:

I hope you can forgive me for being a little short on Charlie's part, I had stated earlier what she would do for the holiday in an alphabet post! But to recap she makes you a mixtape with songs dedicated to you, songs made by her and songs she knows you like! The case is handmade too, covered in hearts as well as having a hand written note inside further expressing her affections for you. She would also give you some of your favorite candies! Expect to go out and do something fun and romantic too!

VAGGIE:

Much lower compared to her canon partner, Vaggie is not much of an enjoyer of the holiday. She keeps her thoughts to it to herself, though sometimes you might find her grumbling about all the pink and the red. She just doesn't enjoy the aesthetic all that much. However despite that she will still participate if she knows it will make her significant other happy! She would get you something small, like a stuffed animal and some flowers.

ANGEL DUST:

Respectfully stealing this idea from my mutual, but he already gets so many gifts and cards from his crazed horny fans. He hardly has the room for any more! Though.. he probably sells a lot of it for some extra cash, only keeping some of the candies. If you get him something, he probably wouldn't sell it. He's actually touched. In terms of what he does for you, he might treat you to a night full of him... in more ways than one if you're open to it. If you don't feel like going out he's fine with staying inside and watching some movies in his rooms... perhaps it's a deserved break after a rough day during the love season.

ALASTOR:

Similar to Vaggie, Alastor wouldn't do much. He understands the purpose of the holiday, but he simply. Does not care for it all that much. However I do rather enjoy the though of Alastor sending letters to his friends (Mimzy, Rosie, Niffty, ect). He even puts them in fancy envelopes and seals them with wax. How nice is that? If he can, he might even send a box of chocolates. Fingers, in Rosie's case. However, he doesn't do much to celebrate outside of that. That's assuming he sends anything at all, anyway.

SIR PENTIOUS:

He would go all out. He might even make a machine dedicated to you and gift it. He makes a mechanical heart that beats and gives it to you. He gives you all of the candy he can get his hands on, not exactly sure what you prefer. He takes you out for the night, to the nicest restaurant he can go to without getting jumped (because let's be honest... his days of trying to pick fights and climb to power has probably landed him with some enemies...). He's a total gentleman on the date, opening the door for you and pushing in your chair for you. Considering he's a little flustered that he is on a date with you, everything goes smoothly.

HUSKER:

He likes to stay in, but you can count that if you manage to get him to go out it's going to be a to a club or bar. Anywhere with alcohol. He'd much rather prefer a bar, since it's usually... lower in energy. He also isn't much of a Valentine's person, and he does show his disdain. He does tone down on talking negatively about the day around you, so there's that at least. A simple night in with an affirmation of love is enough for Husk.

NIFFTY:

She bakes you something and perhaps sews you something. A red throw pillow in the shape of a heart. Though you may have to tell her that's what you want because otherwise she's going to try something akin to the roach crown.... shivers... The baked goods are actually pretty good, and you'll be snacking on them for the rest of the week due to Niffty getting too excited and making too many. She will stab someone with a needle if they try to take one without asking you first.

LUCIFER:

He also goes all out, it might actually be a little overwhelming! He can conjure nearly anything he can think of, if his song was being literal! He wants to make sure you're loved, and that there's no possible way that you would ever think otherwise. Despite this he might rather stay inside, or maybe alter the home to look more fancy to make a mock dinner. Generally very sweet and you will be drowning in gifts from the second you wake up to the minute you go to sleep. He also makes you breakfast in bed.

[girlwithadragonheart]

I need to yap desperately about one single gripe I have with this game. MAJOR MAJOR MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD read at your own discretion

The first half is me ranting about how much certain things mean to me and how impacted I was, and the actual gripe comes closer to the end.

I'll preface this by saying this post is about Varric's death and my rage and despair regarding it, but more so about my Rook's.

I've seen people who said they picked up on the hints about whatnot, who knew before the Fade Prison. I was not one of those people. I was so relieved when I saw him after the Prologue that I didn't think twice, because I knew that it would destroy me the second shit started going wrong.

I was already not having a good time when I started the game simply because Varric was getting older. I don't handle aging well or death, and his design showing his age, and the comments he would make about "getting too old for this" just made my heart break.

And then shit got worse. I sobbed disgustingly when that knife went into Varric's chest.

After Rook woke up from talking to Solas and she heard Varric, I was so gods damned relieved. And my Rook was better taken care of by Varric in that year she spent with him than she was in the rest of her entire life.

I cried from the end of Ghilan'nain's fight until the romance scene and on and off after that. I got so used to visiting Varric just to be comforted by his presence. Inquisition was the biggest part of my life for a year and a half when I was just a kid.

I did really bad middle school age writing for it but regardless of the quality, those characters were built up in my head becoming even more than they were in the game. Varric was my biggest support character through everything I was going through at the time.

I don't talk about it much, but I didn't have a great childhood, and I know a lot of people didn't, but I coped with it through writing and video games. Varric was the one supporting me through the abuse I suffered and writing was the way I processed how bad things really were.

When Rook was in the prison she said "What am I going to find here?" And Varric said "I think you already know, kid." I DIDN'T until he said that. The second he said that my entire chest tightened and I just said "No" out loud as I watched Rook find his body.

Now for my real complaint!!!

Rook never gets the chance to grieve Varric. They go from talking to him every day to finding out he's dead and it was all a lie. I have personally never been more fucking pissed at Solas than I am now. But Rook comes back and they have that kind of "closing off" scene with Varric's empty bed (which was so hard to go through btw). And then they fuck their pookie LIKE I CANNOT BE THE ONLY ONE UPSET ABT THAT

FYM I gotta find out my dad is dead and then Rook is up for boning like there's no fucking way unless it's to cope. And at least pertaining to the Lucanis romance, Rook is processing everything that happened and they can say "So much has happened, I just don't know how to feel."

And rather than getting to process that in some kind of way, the devs said nah this scene serves one singular purpose, and Lucanis says "I do" and then dicks them down.

Personally, I felt very dismissed despite being overjoyed about finally having the romance scene, I couldn't even enjoy it with everything that happened prior.

Rook deserved the chance to completely break down after everything they went through. Tbh i don't know how they kept it together. Varric said "don't get all misty eyed" and i thought to myself that's way too delicate a term for what's happening here, I was fully ugly crying.

Fuck your "I had a good run" I still need you bitch.

All this to say I'm very upset, and I'm running my second playthrough and every time I look at, hear, or talk to Varric I tear up again. Wtf Bioware.

Rook should've gotten the chance to actually talk about what Solas did to them, especially in the sense that he made them believe Varric was still there. Or at least get to properly grieve the person who was their closest friend for a long time.

I have very strong feelings about this obviously

[creatingblackcharacters]

hi ice! im sorry that you're dealing with other stresses, please don't feel any pressure to answer this quickly or anything.

im wondering if you have any advice for a Black person overcoming a lot of internalized anti-Blackness? especially pertaining to feeling like a disappointment specifically for being Black (i struggle with feeling like i will ever be attractive to a partner because of it, even if theyre also Black), and presenting in a way that makes me happy (i want to grow out an afro but i get afraid of looking "too Black", same with wearing my durag and similar things). also are there any books that you would recommend for working through that, or even just learning about Black history (reading often helps me to logic myself out of negative thought patterns and feel inspired)?

thank you! sorry if this ask is too complicated/encompasses too much

Hi! Well first, I am sorry that you've lived a life and in a world that reinforces you to hate yourself. You do not deserve that, and I'm proud of you for asking for more, and I hope you one day live a life where you love yourself and recognize how much you deserve.

If it's okay, in addition to some resources, I could give you some pointers that I gained from my own life experience unlearning internalized antiblackness. It's not an easy or short process, and there's plenty of hard truths and happy truths. I am not the sweetest advice giver either, but I promise I mean well:

1. Release the Shackles of Respectability Politics!

I was already starting to really grow into my Black identity by undergrad (my family had at least tried to help me get there through my childhood) but what really cinched it for me was the state murder of Sandra Bland. Sandra Bland was everything "right"- multiple degrees, pretty, educated, in a historically Black sorority, a college educator, a woman who spoke up for justice. Respected in her community! She was everything I thought I was supposed to be!

And the police still captured her, beat her, and murdered her in her jail cell (and lied about it, and potentially posted a picture of her dead body as her mugshot) for the audacity to question them. She's still dead! She still wasn't "good" enough to live!

No amount of being a "good, well-behaved" Black will save you in a society where being Black itself is deemed a sin. So every time you get a thought where "this isn't what society wants" or "I'm embarrassed" or "if I do this, I'll look like a bad-" cut it off! Fuck em! IT'S NOT TRUE! Recognize that you could be the finest, richest person on the street and you'd still be just a n***a in many people's eyes. 🤷🏾‍♀️ Point blank. They don't like you for your racial identity. They can be racist to Barack Obama and Beyonce, and they sure can be racist to you lmao.

It's not about you, you are not the problem! James Baldwin himself once said that racism is the white man's problem. It's not your responsibility to make them "like" you and "not be disappointed", it's their responsibility to respect you as a human being regardless!

2. Take Back Your Autonomy

This ties into the first one. Let's all thank Lil Nas X for this one, bc he did for my bisexuality what I had to do on my own for my Blackness. 🙏🏾

If they hate you anyway, you might as well be your most authentic self 🤷🏾‍♀️

Don't die disappointed because you wanted to reach white acceptance. Don't do it. If they're gonna hate you suppressed, they might as well hate you out loud 🤷🏾‍♀️ it's your life! It's why I don't shut up about racism lmao. You already hated me, now we'll both be uncomfortable and imma speak 🤷🏾‍♀️

So when you wear that durag, or wear your afro, recognize that 1) there are people just like you who love how you look because you look like them, 2) you should love how you look period because you're who matters, and 3) the day I receive a check with an undisclosed amount of reparations on it is the day I'll sit and discuss allowing whiteness to designate how the fuck I'm suppose to wear my hair lmao (and the answer will still be no). 😤

3. Accept that you're worth it

It's going to be hard. Even by wearing your afro, your own natural hair, you are making a statement of pride in your Blackness, and everyone won't understand or respect that. That was one of my first steps in high school, was cutting off all my permed hair and loving my afro. I had to write affirmations that I read daily to love myself, I was so scared. But it was worth it. My hair is healthy and happy. I had to learn brown skin was beautiful. But once I did, I couldn't stop fawning over it, on myself and others.

There are people who live their lives told by society they are perfect. Why do they get to think they're beautiful, and you don't? They're not better than you, yet they can tell you that you should hate yourself. What gives them the right? Who do they think they are? Fight back! Accept that the fight is hard, but you're worth it! Your Blackness is beautiful, and it fought hard as fuck to make it this far- honor that by honoring yourself!

4. Find some community; dive deep into Blackness

This one is self explanatory. You're gonna have to be around Black people that love themselves. Surround yourself with it. Find things they do that you like. Learn to find love in it. It could be creative, political, hell even finding a hairstyles group that shows cute ways to wear your hair. That can be a way to grow more confident and try new things. (All skinfolk ain't kinfolk though, so be aware.) But being around Black people, who care about the same things you care about, and make you feel heard, will help break that... Mind space where you feel alone and wrong. Trust, if I didn't have other Black people on this site, I would go mad from people gaslighting me that the racism I was seeing wasn't real. You need some more of us around you that reinforce your love for us, and yourself.

Here is a long paper discussing internalized antiblackness; you said you like to read lol. It admittedly focuses on Black women, BUT it might also help to use the sources that they cite to go on your own journey regardless! You could also just surround yourself with bloggers and beautiful poems and Black creations. There's beauty in all of it, you gotta let yourself find it.

I hope this helps 🙏🏾

[queenie-ofthe-void]

A Desperate Fool - Part 3

Part 2

The comfort is here! This is just a morsel of the Nancy chapter, which means even MORE comfort with a pinch of angst.

~~~

It took a few weeks after Max and Lucas’s surprise visit for Eddie to work up enough courage to fly to Boston to knock on his sister's door-- technically sister from another mister, but he doesn't think that matters much.

Nancy's always believed in him, encouraged him to follow his passions no matter where it took him. Because even if you try and fail, Eddie, then at least you tried, and she’d always be there to catch him. In this case, maybe his passions took him a little too far.

It’s been almost eight months since they’ve talked, and he’s worried she won’t be there this time. Nancy is the fiercest person he knows, ready to stand up for what’s right regardless of the consequences. Hell, it’s what made her such a successful journalist. 

Which is why he’s worried he’ll buckle under the same scrutiny. This isn't a little mistake she can lecture away. Eddie has well and truly fucked up. If he could barely get through conversations with Robin and Max and Lucas, he has no idea how to navigate a conversation with Nancy Wheeler when she wants answers.

Before he can chicken out, the door’s ripped open by the woman herself. She’s different than he remembers. Her hair’s grown out, long and straight without her signature perm. The light pink pajama pants and matching pink slippers soften her edges. She looks good, aside from the bloodshot eyes.

This counts the fourth time Eddie’s ever seen Nancy cry: her freshman year when their cat died, a particularly nasty blow out between her and Mike before she moved for college, and two years ago when Jonathan finally proposed– happy tears, thankfully.

Now she’s standing here, staring at him through red-rimmed eyes and drowning in an oversized Corroded Coffin crewneck. He’s absolutely gutted at the sight. Only the fourth time she’s ever cried, and it’s his fault.

Another hard reminder of his many mistakes.

“Nance, please, can we talk?” He doesn’t know what to say that’ll fix it, but he has to try, she’s too important not to.

She suddenly throws herself at him, practically choking him with the grip of her arms around his neck, and for a moment he thinks she’s about to fight him. But her hand’s cradling the back of his head, and her other’s fisted in the back of his jacket. 

Nancy clings to him and shoves her nose into the crook of his neck. He wraps her up in a fierce hug in return, holding her as she shakes against him.

“Edward James Munson,” she says, forcing the words out around the tears, “I am so, so fucking mad at you.” Nancy lets go of his shirt just to emphasize her point by socking him in the shoulder. Only to grab at him again, like he’ll disappear if she lets go.

“I know, Nancy. I’m sorry.”

She coughs, and Eddie can feel where her tears have soaked his hair through, sticking it uncomfortably to his neck. “I missed you so much.”

He lets out a ragged sigh of relief. She still loves him, even after everything he’s done. Nancy Wheeler is too good for him– the whole world, really– but especially him. He doesn’t deserve someone like her, a sister like her, but he’s also selfish. So he holds onto her tighter, hoping that when he lets go she doesn’t change her mind

She leans out of his grasp to look him in the eye. He doesn’t know what she finds, but Nancy eyes are soft around the edges, filled with love, and she shoves his shoulder again. Not hard though, so she laughs when he dramatically falls backwards clutching his afflicted arm to his chest. He moans and groans, bottom lip jutted out in a firm pout as he bats his eyes at her, waiting for an apology.

“You’re such an asshole,” she says, but she’s smiling at him now and holding out her hand to help him up. He takes it, of course he does. Eddie relaxes, knowing that even though it's his fault she's cried, Nancy Wheeler will always be there to catch him whem he falls- metaphorically at least.

~~~

Part 4

[averydavery]

The Like A Dragon Infinite Wealth Problem

Ichiban sprite WIP for my (admittedly self-indulgent) fangame

Pseudo-essay and ramblings below the cut

Tldr:

I’m a sore, butt-hurt player who feels a bit cheated and a lot disappointed.

Critical Rating- 8/10

Personal Rating- 6.5/10

SPOILERS AHEAD

So I’m writing this as of just finishing the game. Mind you, it took me about three-fourths of this year to beat LAD8. Not because it was challenging but because one thing or another pissed me off so much, I had to put it down for extended periods of time. Now I want to get my glazing out of the way so you understand the things that I’m 100% not bashing here and a lot of my criticisms just have to deal with how RGG studio as a whole has become as storytellers and developers.

But most obviously addicting was the gameplay. This is probably one of my favorite turn-based RPGs in terms of mechanics and strategy— and I played BG3 this year. It improved everything that was in 7 and added only more things worth liking, especially the inclusion of Kiryu breaking the entire physics and reverting to just pummeling someone. I thought that was a really endearing touch. Also, out of all the games I’ve put on the TV, this was the one my dad enjoyed watching most. For context, my dad is a fifty-three year old man who only plays first-person shooters and has no interest in any other kind of game. I play with subtitles too and he’s usually not a fan of that since he has poor vision but he LOVED watching the silly little “essence of” moves. He genuinely got excited whenever I did a shit ton of damage on an enemy lmao. Also in my dorm I have a poster of Ichiban and my dad pointed at it recently and said “I know that guy! He beats up people with his magical bat!” … literally sobbed.

Besides the gameplay, it had nice quality of life improvements from 7 which was to be expected. Although I am VERY opinionated in terms of the story, my favorite part was Eiji and Ichiban’s development. The ending scene had such a cyclical feel to it that kind of reigned in some of the craziness to remind the viewer that the first “new” character Ichiban met was Eiji and a lot of Ichi’s expository conflicts were the result of his actions. I thought out of all the antagonists, he was the most realized and motivated as well. A lot of the more shocking moments I cared for had him in it— either explicitly or implicitly. Also not to mention the “bon voyage” motif, that was adorable.

Other things I enjoyed a lot were Dondoko Island, what a great in-depth mini game that at times I’d much rather play than the main story, and Chitose and Tomizawa. I liked both of them a lot, I thought the were sweet additions, it’s just Chitose had a lot of bearing on the story in regards to Eiji and I wish I could see it through. She wasn’t in the ending much at all and I feel like since she was so guarded we didn’t see her personality very much. Tomi was a much smaller part of the story which was a bummer but regardless, he certainly didn’t bother me and I like him for what he’s there for! Also he’s the most down-to-earth and relatable character on the team so that perspective was nice.

Okay now onto why I didn’t like this game so much.

I enjoyed this game really up until Kiryu went back to Yokohama and got his own team. Everything I disliked about the plot could be traced back to starting around that chapter. If you boil it down, this game introduces itself as being a continuation of Ichiban’s story and revolving around him. But when we take ahold of Kiryu it reveals itself to be a game centered around both of them. And one side of the story is about a new, fresh, and beloved character we players are always excited to play as… and the other is Kiryu.

I’m gonna rip the band-aid off now: I am sick of Kiryu. Do I think he deserves a better ending than in 6? Yes. Have I played Gaiden? No. Do I think that they should’ve found a way to end his story in Gaiden? Yes.

We as players have spent SEVEN AND A HALF games playing as Kiryu, from 0 to Gaiden. I think it’s not a stretch to say they need to give him a rest. I wish everything that happened with Kiryu at the end of this game was either put into Gaiden and RGG had marketed that game as “the true twilight era and ending of Kiryu Kazuma” or been experienced through the eyes of Ichiban. After all, it felt like Kiryu was upstaging Ichiban more or less in his own game and not in a good way. If this game was supposed to be truly “shared” between the two of them then they shouldn’t have made Ichiban such a focal point and made it like some grand scheme visualized through two different lenses like they did with Kiryu and Majima in 0. Every time I was back at the helm of Kiryu was just biding my time until I was Ichiban again! And call this an original take (sarcasm), but I don’t think a game should be played like that.

Not to mention that RGG now has a habit of making the game unplayable by forcing the player to spend hours leveling up to beat a boss and while I think that’s a clever way to get the player to spend more hours in their game— I definitely think we can all agree that spending time grinding to level up or to get new poundmates was no one’s favorite part of the story. So not only am I trying to rush through Kiryu’s story that I’m bored by, the game forces me to stay playing as him which only makes me hate that half of the game more.

I also think this series has really lost its spark, it set a standard that the conflict has to be so large, so all-encompassing and complex that it doesn’t really know what story its telling. What I mean is done best in 3 which is my favorite game in terms of story, is because of its scope. Sure, the US is involved so the issue is slightly international and there is some silly, yakuza-brand confusion but 3 is solely focused on that little town in Okinawa. Everything came back to Kiryu’s attempt to settle down there and how the Tojo Clan still seemed to follow him all they to his doorstep. The plot was localized and familiar characters like Majima and Dojima made decisions remotely from Kiryu, while new faces like Rikiya and Mine got to shine. In 8, the scale is so large and is trying its best to be so fanservice-y that the story of “Ichiban finding his mom” is lost completely in the cracks.

Also the cult shit. I know this RGG but even for their standards, this was stupid and not in a silly way. I was just groaning.

Not to mention, Lani is a character I felt no emotion towards. I wish the story was solely been about Ichiban finding his mom and it had spanned the entirety of the story, rather than the player being told “well, Akane isn’t the important one that Palekana is looking for it’s actually this random kid she’s protecting that you don’t know anything about or have an attachment to instead.” I think if they had, again, narrowed the scope and simplified the plot to be Ichiban searching for his mom— it could’ve been way more emotional and impactful. They could’ve even tried to achieve that Twin Peaks “who killed Laura Palmer?” vibe. Be which I mean, a very simple question or sentence could’ve been expanded upon tenfold.

I don’t know, this has gone on long enough. What do you think?

[kishabuns]

SP(giraffe boy) + success stories !! (Yap session ,very funny tho)

SO MUCH has happened after winter break, like oh em geeeeeee—where do I even start?!

Okay, first, let me hit y’all with the small small manifestations because even the tiniest wins deserve their flowers. So, ALL my friends had their classes canceled, which meant I was going to school alone (the audacity). BUT, I decided my day was going to be amazing regardless. Guess what happened? I got a 97% on my chemistry test (yes, girl, academic comeback season is HERE), andddd my chem teacher was sick, so class was canceled right after that. Manifestation? I think YES.

And the glow-up doesn’t stop there. I am NOT the shy girl anymore. I’ve been putting myself out there, making new friends, and let me tell you, I didn’t know I was THIS fun until I started talking more. Like, my personality??? Kinda iconic. I’m genuinely so proud of myself for stepping out of my comfort zone.

NOW, onto the fun stuff: body is tea and MY style is eating so hard this semester. I don’t know what’s in the air, but I’ve been pulling off every outfit like I have a stylist (it’s me—I’m the stylist). Every fit? Chef’s kiss. My makeup? Flawless. And this body? BOMBSHELLL like I have to look for my waist every morning it’s getting exhausting 😔

I’m just in my everything era right now, and it feels so good. SEND ME YOUR SUCCESS STORIES TOO—I wanna hype y’all up because we’re all winning this year!

Ok so now giraffe boy

So, first things first: he followed me on Insta. I KNOW. My jaw hit the floor. Like, DUH, of course he did. I mean, look at me—but still, AAAAHHH! The thing is, his followers are super low-key, like under 30, and he’s following maybe 50. This is the definition of exclusive, people. A private club. And I? I’m on the VIP list.

BUT WAIT. Let me expose my forgetful self. I saw his request, freaked out, and then… completely forgot to accept it for an ENTIRE WEEK. No joke. A whole week. Tragic. Anyway, during that time, I saw him at school, standing in the middle of a group of people (as usual), and he totally noticed me. Our eyes met for like, a nanosecond, but then this man looked away. Like, sir??? But it’s fine—I decided in that moment that if he wanted my attention, he’d just have to try harder.

Now here’s where the story gets insane. So, I met up with this girl from my friend group. She’s new at school, and we’re not super close, but she’s sweet. We decided to go shopping, grab food, and just vibe. While we were strolling through the shopping center, who do I see?

Giraffe Boy.

Yep. Standing there. Alone. With a cup of tea. A CUP. OF. TEA. (Like, thank God it wasn’t a Red Bull. That would’ve been an ick.)

Here’s the kicker—my friend KNOWS HIM. Like, how?? She literally called him over, and I was losing it because I haven’t spoken to him since The Snackbar Incident™ (which we do not speak of). Anyway, he walked over, and they started chatting like it was nothing. Meanwhile, I’m just standing there trying not to look like a whole idiot.

We didn’t talk much in that moment because the common denominator (aka my friend) was carrying the convo. BUT THEN. It gets dark (because winter), and we’re all walking home. My friend peels off to go her own way, leaving me alone with HIM.

Me. Him. Winter. Darkness. Just us.

Cue the small talk. It was a little awkward at first, but then we somehow landed on the topic of mangas (for the uncultured, that’s like anime in comic book form). Turns out, we’re both obsessed. I told him about my collection and reached for my phone to show him a pic, but guess what? My phone was DEAD. The betrayal.

Then, out of nowhere, this man says, “Well, if you accept my request on Insta, you can send it to me there.” Like, smooth, right? BUT THEN. He hit me with, “Or you could just give me your number?”

GUYS. I froze. Like, completely malfunctioned. Five seconds of silence. Do you know how long five seconds feels in that kind of situation?? ETERNITY. But, I pulled it together and gave him my number. Like, who am I to deny fate?

That was YESTERDAY. We’ve already been texting (he’s funny, I guess 🌚), and I sent him pics of my manga collection. The vibes are there. Wedding invites will be sent out soon DM me if you want one. ;)

[delulustateofmind]

Babe let me know what you think of this idea for yan satosugu because the brain worms have been at it so bad this week. Medical AU where reader who was previously healthy has gotten an illness that’s been bothering her for about a month until it becomes unbearable and she has to go to the hospital. She was putting it off because she’s got a HUGE needle phobia and general fear of hospitals and procedures etc. Now idk if you wanna make both of them doctors, we did get that panel of nurse Geto but in the satosugu dynamic I feel like it would be Gojo as the nurse. Regardless, our healthcare heathens here don’t wanna discharge their darling little patient so easily. Probably doing unnecessary treatments just to keep her sick and dependent. Ohohoh so much to play with here, the medical play, if she hasn’t been visiting doctors regularly how would she be able to discern what is a red flag in their treatment especially when the doctor with the silver tongue explains it all so rationally you ought to trust him right? They have constant access to any medicine, the perfect tactics of isolating her if they put her in quarantine. Reader stressing because if she takes too much sick leave she’ll be fired from her job not to mention all the medical debt, my, my it’s so over. It would be really cool to have a reader who is absolutely a fighter I’m talking biting, scratching, screaming, thrashing, clawing kicking. She’s not going down without being knocked out and even after she wakes up she’s at it again. Literally doing anything to stop her phobias and fears from happening just to be free. In a lot of works reader is often paralyzed with fear which isn’t bad but I so badly wanna see a fighter (maybe bc when I read I’m like “pshh I wouldn’t let that slide” lolll ) and how she slowly breaks or breaks free your choice. Because of your background in chemistry and I’m assuming biology too because I bet you had to take some courses in order to complete the major, you’re the perfect person to request this to!!!! Ever since I read You Just Can’t Play God I was ascending. Your writing is so expressive and emotional like I’m really going through it here and it’s so addictivly tragic every time. And I could tell that you but your background knowledge into that fic and it deserves MORE LOVE so I’m giving it to you 💖💖💖thinking of this always. Wahhhh I go crazy for science fiction and medical horror and a yandere doctor is such bad news let alone two!!!! I kinda feel bad for making such a lengthy request and especially since you mentioned about wanting to post some more wholesome satosugu content and I come in with this🤡. Alas I am (with your consent) open mouth smooching you, warmly embracing you, feeding you yummy snacks and tucking you into bed. Ok that’s enough yapping out of me I got to go to bed. Good night!!!

- With much adoration 💖 anon

💖 Anon, we are definitely making out right now—especially after you just fed me that delicious FIC IDEA.

Holy fuck, do I love a good medical AU. (The gloves? They do things to my brain. The power play? Chef’s kiss.)

What are you gonna do? Say no to a medical professional?

I totally agree—Geto would absolutely be the silver-tongued doctor, while Gojo would thrive in a cute little nurse outfit. I can already picture them doing home visits. They have your address (and everything else about you). Small-town beloved doctors? No one suspects a thing.

I will be gratefully taking this request. I’m nearly done with a fic for this weekend, so I’ll be starting on it soon. :)

I need to go to bed too, but you’ve got my brain worms munching.

I love you, 💖 anon. Thank you for your wonderful words—I hope you have the sweetest, fluffiest dreams.

[transfemlogan]

idk if you were being serious lol, i have trouble with tone. but whats wrong with some of the ts critters?

which ones are "right" and whos just "shitting on anything"?

i am finally off of work & just ate a sandwich so now i can finally talk abt this.

please note: I am referring to a small group of fans within the critical side of things.

On both sides of the community, no one (hyperbole) can ever settle with a middle ground or have any sort of grey area. it's always extreme. it's always "thomas is the worst person ever & all of his actions r terrible" or "thomas is the best person ever & all of his actions are good", when in actuality human beings are complex and cannot be contained in one absolute or another.

Some TSS critical fans focus on things that absolutely do not matter or have the most wild takes I've ever seen. I was one in a sasi critical discord server awhile back and everyone was complaining about Thomas' posting his clothed ass on instagram ... he quite literally underpaying his employees. i think one of these is more important than what he does with his own body.

and the thing is there are some things that he does in regards to his body that IS weird, such as: why is he posting sexually as velma, a teen character, on his patreon which (at the time, idk if it is still now) is not age restricted.

but him posting himself in a spiderman suit where if you look REALLY hard you can "see his underwear" is not the biggest issue in the world. or him not wearing a dance belt in the same costume. sorry, but actually i think you're the weird one if you're focused so heavily on how his genitals look in cosplay! the way you guys talk about it is lowkey leaning towards sexual harrassment, and I don't know if Thomas has an opinion on it or not, but's its incredibly weird regardless.

Shitting on thomas & co, current & past, employees for breathing. there's a new blog going around mentioning how they "hate brei" bcuz she "always starts drama" and the drama that they're talking about is her getting laid off... like. thats not drama, i think an artist is allowed to speak about their experiences with a certain job.

I feel like certain TSS critical fans have such an unrealistic view on creators, in the same way certain non-critical fans do. where non-critical fans think he shouldn't be held accountable for anything that he does, critical fans think every single thing he does is inherently evil or whatever.

"thomas shouldn't be attacking people in his twitter replies" this is an inherently true statement, however there's certain things that really depend on what's happening.

What is this person saying under thomas' posts? Who is saying it? How is thomas reacting specifically?

someone who comments unhelpful & rude ass comments underneath thomas' posts, such as infantalising him by telling him "thomas, thomathy, my sweet child, learn how to wear a skirt!!!" does in fact deserve some heat back because that's fucking weird. telling thomas advice on how to pose for a photoshoot is also probably fucking weird. but a child (or even an adult) commenting how much they miss sanders sides because it's been 4 years? that's fine and deserves a lot more compassion than thomas gives them.

& then you see how some people dm him about certain things or comment on his posts about it, when none of it is warranted. yes it's fucking weird for you to dm him, a REAL HUMAN BEING, and tell him to "hurry up and finish the fucking video"!!!! but its ALSO weird for him to post your username publically knowing how big his fanbase is and knowing how they will react.

im sorry but some fans are, in fact, fucking rude ass cunts. & thomas is allowed to tell you to fuck off. but its important to know when thomas is allowed to do that and when some fans are not being rude ass cunts. thats the point of critical thinking.

and there is some entitlement within the critical side of the community. yes thomas does owe his fans things, no he doesn't owe you certain things.

it's not surprising that he gives sasi upsets on his patreon, it's almost like that's what the point of a patreon is. but he does owe those patreon users something, since they are paying him Money For promised content that never comes.

it's not surprising that he got upset you provided unwanted critique on how he's posing? in a photoshoot? and then didnt... "credit you for the advice" ... thats not exactly how advice works. he does not owe you that. But it is weird how he does take from fan creation and headcanons. after Joan (& thomas, im pretty sure) talked about how they don't like reading fanfiction because they don't want to steal from fans, only to go on and make logan's eyes orange.

(note: i do not know what that user's advice even was, since they never go in depth about it. so maybe it was warranted some credit and not a rude response, but i have no idea so I am going off what I know.)

A lot of fans, again on both sides of the community, think it's a very black & white situation. if one thing applies then everything else does to, when in actuality like .... situations are more complex than you guys expect.

sometimes there's just not a lot of nuance or fucking thinking that goes into some of these takes, and it's one of the reasons I dislike looking at TSS critical blogs now. its why i dislike the concept of a "critical discord server", because no one here can use critical thinking.

i want nuanced, intriguing takes and criticism. not random fucking baseless hate just because you want to shit on him. its annoyingggg!!!

[chaosnojutsu]

Who *Should* Have Died From The Konoha ~12 Instead Of The One Who Did

rules:

we’re assuming they die under the same circumstances as the other guy

each one listed would have a complete storyline and their death would further the immediate plot as well as the overall narrative

i’m not “just picking characters i don’t like”

i do not condone killing characters for the sake of shock value but am considering shock as a legitimate tool in generating impact of a character’s death

miss me with “[redacted]’s death was a tragic result of the shinobi system” because no it was not. if that were true you could sub out [redacted] for any other child soldier and get the exact same impact. we know exactly why they were chosen and it’s got an (insufficient) explanation irl and in-universe.

#3. Sai

Motivation: Friendship

First of all, imagine the shock value from killing one of THE Team Kakashi members.

Cool. Now imagine Naruto’s shock at Sai sacrificing himself for him.

Sai overanalyzes normal human interaction to the point of not understanding it. He reads books about how to befriend people. He still doesn’t understand it all the time but friendship is coming more naturally to him these days. What he does understand is that Naruto is the only chance of winning this war, and he’s down, and the enemy is aiming for him, and Hinata is trying to stop them but she’s on the ground, the spears are in the air and so is Sai, and Naruto is his friend.

He doesn’t need to think about it much deeper than that.

Now imagine Sasuke “What Does ‘Friend’ Mean To You” Uchiha witnessing this, witnessing Naruto’s reaction, and the further effects this may have on his character. After all, Sai was his replacement. If Naruto feels this strongly about losing someone who was decidedly not him but his friend and teammate nevertheless then… maybe.

#2. Rock Lee

Motivation: Youth

Regardless of *how* this one plays out, no one wants to watch the determined, precious, comedic relief die; no one who’s watched this far into the show wants Rock Lee specifically to die. Huge impact already. But we can make it super duper sad because he deserves a memorable death. I see it going one of two ways.

One: Hinata doesn’t even have the time to try to shield Naruto because Rock Lee is faster. Ten-Tails barely launches the attack and Lee’s already taken/attempted to counter the hit. Perhaps this is his eight gates moment. Similar to Sai, Rock Lee would cite the power of friendship in his dramatic death speech, but he also was just… doing his duty. Truly, if you’re in the “Neji was just another tragic child soldier” camp, Rock Lee is the prime example of what I mean when I say you could sub in any child soldier, which I know sounds paradoxical but stay with me. Rock Lee’s entire personality is training harder than anyone else to benefit a system that will ultimately result in his death. If you want to make a point about child soldiers and needless lives lost, Rock Lee is the one to kill.

Two: Rock Lee doesn’t shield Hinata. He shields Neji. But not necessarily on purpose. The scene plays out exactly as written up to the moment Neji activates his byakugan, and the next frame isn’t him falling to the ground, it’s Rock Lee. The usually-somewhat-reserved Neji is devastated, probably in tears, demanding to know why he would do something like this. Rock Lee coughs up a bit of blood. “I was faster than you.” Smile. “I finally beat you…” Serene eyes fall shut. “…rival.”

And now imagine Naruto’s reaction to losing Bushy Brow. Imagine him watching Gai be brought to his knees by a blow that didn’t physically touch him. Imagine Madara incorrectly perceiving that. The implications. The foreshadowing.

#1. Shino

Motivation: Legacy

I’m gonna be real, the writers were never gonna kill off Rock Lee like that, which is the biggest reason Shino has taken the crown as Most Worthy Of A Tragic Death in my book.

This dude has a connection to both Naruto and Hinata (making him equally as good a sacrifice as Neji if that’s the canon criteria). However, unlike most other (male) characters, Shino isn’t shown to have a particularly close friendship with Naruto. The one recurring joke around Shino is that he’s so irrelevant even Naruto can’t remember his name.

But he is good friends with Hinata. And he knows she’ll spend the rest of her life miserable if Naruto dies, and that if she dies right now she will never have gotten her life’s greatest wish.

So Shino goes out in a blaze of glory, and we’ll probably insert something about how Naruto has somehow secretly inspired him all along— or maybe something cynical about how he always wanted to be included by Naruto but never was unless Kiba or Hinata were around, so he’s sacrificed himself to maintain the livelihood of everyone else while not “losing” that friendship himself— and we of course get the touching moment with Hinata (oh just imagine the drama if Shino lay dying and told Hinata “Why did I protect you? It’s simple. The reason is… for the same reason you protected him.” and we find out that the huge secret crush of the show was not Hinata toward anyone, but Shino toward Hinata, never confessing because he knew it would be futile).

Good luck forgetting his name now, Naruto. Now no one will ever forget about Shino Aburame.

[professoruber]

Quick thoughts on MAWS depiction of Krypton

My Adventures with Superman Spoilers

Okay so I've really been enjoying My Adventures With Superman (I recently re-watched and caught up with the show) but honestly I am personally not the biggest fan of the depiction of Krypton and Kara.

Disclaimer I am not a big comic expert and am still something of an novice, especially with Superman stuff, but I am slowly broadening my horizons.

Some things I like about Superman is the parallels to the story of Moses as well as the general immigrant story. Superman Smashes the Klan is one of the comics I've read so far and I really liked how it explored those latter themes.

So I guess I kinda feel that having Krypton be depicted as this imperialistic empire, especially one who was destroyed due the fights they picked, kinda undermines those parallels/themes? Granted, the immigrant story stuff can still very much be present regardless of the nature of Kryptonian society.

Perhaps it has something to do with my initial expectations that Kara would provide another view of Krypton to contrast the very negative impression which Clark had received from the very limited information he had received in the first season but uh...

While Kara is certainly a rather sympathetic individual, she is also certainly not exactly providing a better view of Krypton. Of course, I'd imagine as well that Primus Brainiac's version of Krypton is much worse than the original one.

(The reason why I had the theory is because I like the contrast between Superman and Supergirl, of the latter generally being depicted as having spent at least her formative years in Krytponian society, either Argo City or Krypton itself. Both are stories of immigrants, but with an interesting difference which makes them distinct in their experiences)

But we did hear from Jor-El that Krypton was indeed an Empire before its destruction (although... Clark's only able to have a proper conversation with Jor-El after the Brainiac systems of the ship had been explicitly activated... hm.)

As I said before, I am really loving MAWS and think its a very fun show. And I also do not want to criticise a show merely because it did not follow my exact personal expectations, that'd just be silly.

But I suppose that watching it has gotten me thinking about my personal thoughts on Krypton in general, and I feel like I might as well write it down.

The season's also not over yet, so there is a high possibility of more nuance being shown in Krypyton. Plus regardless of if Krypton was an empire, the regular civilians didn't deserve total destruction.

Anyway, MAWS is very good .Would recommend. And like I said, this is mostly my personal rambling of thoughts on Krypton and Kara. Can't wait to see the next episode!

Edit: kinda tired today but to slightly expand on my thoughts. I suppose in general I like the idea of Krypton with its own flaws and virtues. While MAWS could still very well show the better side of Krypton outside of Brainiac’s propaganda, it’s status as an imperialistic power which caused its own destruction through its conquests arguably would overshadow that somewhat.

Clark Kent was raised on Earth by the Kent Family. That’s who he is, where he got his values and how he was shaped into the man he is. But I also like him still nonetheless being able to be proud of his Kryptonian heritage and connect to it; being both Earthling and Kryptonian.

But in MAWS; between Jor-El’s A.I getting destroyed, Old Krypton being imperialist, New Krypton being ruled by Brainiac and Kara being a brainwashed war criminal, it leaves Clark with very little connection to Krypton and very little insight to what it was actually like as a society and culture and people.

And unless there’s further reveals about Kara’s backstory (although I do have a theory about that…), there’s a fair chance she won’t have much connection to Krypton once she gets freed from Brainiac’s comtrol. And what connection she does have right now is mostly negative and tainted by Brainiac.

Perhaps I am a bit pre-emptive in some of this and I do think there’s still plenty of room for the writers to expand on Krypton and what it was like and what lead to its empire and subsequent destruction. Regardless of what direction the writers take though, I am looking forward to seeing the show’s story progress!

[stardewpoesie]

I may be reaching here, but after watching emptiness and catharsis for many times, some sort of realization (?) struck me with this sequence. 

When the girls scream out their feelings, their positions into the frames are interesting. I think it had to do with the root of the pain they are dealing with being from an exterior or interior influence, or a mixture of both. 

How I interpret it: 

Tomo: her bluntness and seriousness in her art are what set her apart from her bandmates in the past. They couldn't take her calling out their incompetence with a good face, and so they quit. Tomo's solution to this was to silence herself and restrain herself from saying what she truly thinks. The pain she feels and she lets go of is that of vowing to never restrain herself from giving her real opinions again. Because there will be people who appreciate her for that blunt honestly. And thus my deduction is that the pain she lets go of/screams out had been root inside her. Which is why her face is all over the frame. 

Subaru: I think in a similar manner to Tomo, the root of her inner conflicts lie within her. She doesn't want to disappoint her grandmother, but what truly makes her sad is the lying. Lying to her grandmother, but mainly to herself. She was finally able to let go of that by introducing herself by name, being proud of what she is doing and truly allowing herself the choice to do as she wants. So the pain she was screaming out in the frame was also mainly internal. 

Momoka: Momoka's face is slightly panned out compared to Tomo and Subaru, with magenta lines shooting out. I think it represents her pain being both internal and external. Also, Magenta pink signifies deep passion. Momoka's character is complex, she's an artist who always believed in herself, started out strong with a full conviction of what she envisioned. But her agency wanted to rip her integrity as an artist from her, and her bandmates, although caring, chose to let her go in the end at the expense of her music. No matter how Momoka phrases her leaving the band, I think it still stands for some sort of betrayal, and even Momoka recognizes it. So Momoka's search for herself begins again, but it's exhausting, and seemed pointless for the longest time. Causing her burnout. I think Momoka was letting go of both her built-up cowardice and her past with Diamond Dust as both their bandmate but also an artist of that band.

Rupa: Rupa's frame is the most obvious for me. In her frame, the background takes almost as much space as she does. And I love the choice of the background being yellow, which symbolizes warmth and gentleness. Despite her life being so hard, she is still the gentle figure of the group. I believe it's obvious that with Rupa, the world has dealt her more pain than any person deserves. She lost her most important people, and it was unfair. The pain she screams out signifies her resolve to move on to live her life despite her grief. 

Nina: with Nina I am admittedly hesitant to draw a conclusion. Her face is all we see. But the bullying she suffered through should be an external pain. Throughout the past episodes, we see how the root of her pain is wondering whether her being who she is is either right or wrong. She knows she isn't wrong, but she wants to prove it. She wants to find herself. She admits to Momoka in the first episode that she came to Tokyo because she didn't feel like she belonged anywhere. 

I suppose, the root of her pain and what she was letting go of in that moment is the idea that she was born to exist in this world. Her lyrics in the song prove as much, she wants to live now. And even an episode before, when she told her sister she's happy as she is now. The acceptance that she could exist as she was is freeing to her. 

I don't know if this is an intended creative decision, but regardless I think Nina is so brave.  Her story isn't only about what she'd suffered, but how she came out of it. The outside world meant nothing if Nina knew who she was. And how she herself is the answer that she seeked all along, her own worthiness. 

[kiryoutann]

so far the mc has been pretty shitty to imo- stalking, attempted baby trapping (yes I know she has trauma but that doesn't excuse the behaviour). I am wondering how are you gonna make her grow from that. I do think this behaviour needs to be addressed, if the mc is going to end up with Simon, is it gonna be one of those cases where they are both bad people and deserve each other (I know they aren't purposely bad but actions speak louder than words) or are they both going to make each other a better person? I was just wondering that idk why lolz

"she has trauma but that doesn't excuse the behavior" is SOOO TRUE. thank u for saying this.

i understand and aware that mental illness affects someone's personality and behavior, but it doesn't give you a free pass to be an asshole/exempt you from accountability. you did smth and you apologize and explain everything, but also don't expect the other person to UNDERSTAND/accept your apology. while it's important for everyone to be compassionate towards people dealing with mental health challenges, doesn't mean they're obligated to forgive and forget your hurtful behavior.

now, to the question...

THE PRESSURE IS REAL. i honestly still have no idea how her character growth is going to be- and NOW that you've said this, i'm not even sure if my original plan for her was GROWTH or just a result of this series.

because to be realistic, if i were her (whom by the way, we acknowledged she's just as bad or worse i dunno) and i got to reunite 2-3 years later (did I mention when they're going to meet before this ask?? I FORGOT. THIS is how unformed the sequel is guys) with the person who broke my heart (regardless of why and the circumstances, they still broke it right), i'd still have this bitterness in me that makes me this shitty person roaming the earth (omg is she gonna be her mother..)

or maybe you're right. maybe it's going to be one of those cases where they are both horrible people and they're MEANT to be (or maybe that's why they're meant to be). or maybe it's going to be a story where well,, it's not really considered character growth for both simon and her, but it's a process of them accepting what kind of person they are (since i feel like this current series is mostly about simon trying to avoid the person he is - always painting himself in the bad light, as someone who isn't worthy of love and the softer side of life, while the reader is trying soo hard to prove that she isn't like her mother, that she's lovable to the point where she FORCES EVERYTHING to go her way) and to know each other better without "veil"/hiding anymore. then, they can move forward.

cause i think for someone to grow, you gotta acknowledge the person you are in the present, then from there you can try and be a better person. i hope this makes any sense lmao cause i'm just typing everything in my mind.

if someone has their thoughts/suggestions for the sequel, i'd be happy to hear them. just submit it to my inbox ^^!! know that some may not be implemented in the sequel, but all is equally appreciated!

also thanks so much for the ask anon!!! this was a good question<33 have a great day!

[orion4ever]

hiii i was so happy to see a writing blog for our life!! thank you so much for sharing your writing with us.

could i request hcs for step 2 qiu / tamarack / cove with an mc who often gets into small fights with classmates? someone who doesn't instigate, but will escalate the situation to a fight.

Author’s note: Thank you for requesting! I am glad that people are finding my blog! There is a lack of Our Life fanfiction and I wanted to be able to fill it! ^^ I wrote this right after playing step 2! Sorry it took so long!

Pairings: Qiu Lin x MC , Tamarack Bauman x MC and Cove Holden x MC

🗒️🍂🐚

COVE HOLDEN🐚

He said something in Step 2, How he wouldn’t encourage you to fight but if they deserved it, then they deserved it 🤷🏽‍♀️

He does try and mediate and calm you down if you get into fights.

He gets really scared and worried when you do get in fights and will most likely try and calm you down.

Although…

If this person started it

Then who is he to stop, you right?

If you fought someone because they came after Cove or insulted him in any way

Then he’s a little shy about it, In an appreciative way!

I feel like Cove wouldn’t like someone who likes to pick fights with people so it's good that you don’t.

But if the person you are fighting starts escalating.. like doing more damaging punches or stuff then an emotional Cove would instantly punch them out of reflexes

And now you are both in trouble.

Cove is the best person to go to when you need to calm down after an intense fight!

He’d invite you to walk down the beach and just vent some energy away!

He does gently try and encourage you to find a new way to solve issues , like talking or just walking away.

QIU LIN🗒️

They could probably understand feeling the urge to fight someone.

If you got into a fight , Qiu would pull you off them and run away

so that you don’t get in trouble

If the person you got into the fight with deserved it then they would voice it out loud.

Qiu would talk with you about the fights ; if you are more rowdier then they wouldn’t be surprised

But if it was out of character for you then ;they be worried about it.

Qiu probably tried and convince your mom to let you off the hook or to lessen any punishment you might get from these fights.

If you fought someone because they said anything bad about Qiu or heck even Tamarack

Then they would feel kinda proud and a little bashful

Of course , Qiu wouldn’t admit it

At least not straight up anyway.

If you got hurt then they would feel bad about it.

This is only a maybe possibility but if you didn’t want to go to school the day after the fight , still feeling tense and mad about it

Then Qiu would suggest you two just skip and hang out somewhere

Even with their cold demeanor, they still care.

TAMARACK BAUMAN🍁

Omg no

Oh no no no

Tamarack would actually freak out so badly if you got into a fight with somebody.

She doesn’t want anyone , regardless of who or what they said to resort to violence

Maybe if she was still ten then she could justify or let it go

But Tamarack would be so disappointed

She’d be tense for the entire day until the two of you clear it up

She wouldn’t let you shelf it for later too, you two either discuss what happened or it doesn’t get talked about at all.

If you fought someone defending Tamarack then she would feel bad, thinking stuff like if she caused you to snap or something unreasonable

Would carry around bandages if this became a constant occurrence with you.

She would get really upset if you were punished for it.

Even if she was disappointed in the fact that you fought someone, she knows it be unfair if you did get in trouble for it.

She takes you somewhere quiet to let you cool off.

She cares about you alot.