#because people have been asking and ive been deleting

[myeyesblurry]

Just a reminder, I am a roleplay blog. Blurry is a character. This post is regarding the Sherlock BBC roleplayer drama.

If I talk about things on my blog, it's in character. If we talk in DM's it's a 50/50 if I'll be in character or not. You'll be able to tell, by the fact if I start slurring you or not. (If you request we talk mod to mod; sure. If not I'll let you know- but this has never happened. I don't have reason to not be kind or myself in general.) If i send asks, it's 90% of the time in character. I am quick to drop a character if the conversation gets serious and I am trying to comfort the people behind the blogs.

I don't have beef with anyone personally.

It's all roleplay.

I do have addiction issues, and yes I did go on a binge last month and overdose. I've been (rather painfully) sober since. I smoke weed now though, in attempts to help me stay away from harder drugs. It's worked so far. I mostly am here when sober, and again am sober now as I write all of this, and have been during a lot of this situation. The weed has been during weaker moments.

If you want to ask me about in character drama, I will GLADLY spill all I know! If we have the energy at the time, anyway. If there are gaps between posts or replies, remember I'm an addict and I have a disociative disorder. Simply put; my body might be here, but my mind isn't all of the time. I'm too tired or too high to be in it sometimes, and you get gaps. Days, weeks, whatever. Often not weeks, I think 3 weeks was the max recently.

If you want drama between mods; the character will not. And if I am not part of the mod drama, I have nothing to say. Do I know more than I let on? Yes. Do I talk about it? Not unless they're a dangerous person and I fear for you. Could I warn you again talking OOC with a character, while saying it's safe to talk to the character? Yah. Sure. Just be cautious and I need to remind you that these characters are not the mods, and that these characters are not your friend.

I will give people my personal blog or otherwise show my hand if I am trying to express I will be open/be your friend. I'm not saying every blog that doesn't tell you their main is bad, and I'm not saying any blog that does tell you their main is good.

But that to blindly trust a character, without establishing any real connection outside of that, and taking what they say as gospel or telling them secrets, is dangerous. Remember that just because one person speaks first, doesn't automatically mean they are in the right. Remember also; that neither is the second, middle, last, whoever! For clearance. Stories have two sides, and sometimes the truth is muddy and somewhere in the middle. Sometimes hearing more stories might help gather intel for you to make a decision, but can never truly be perfect.

If you need to ask about my personal experiences with someone, I can tell you as well, if I'm feeling up for it. If not, I won't lie, I'll say I'm not ready or it's private. I can't speak for anyone else, or tell a story that's happened to anyone else. I'll tell my personal story, if I have one, and you can use it to help guide on who you believe, if you want. But my personal experience will not be a public post on this blog. But private, dm's, or even on one of my personal blogs.

Remember the world isn't black and white, and that people can be good and make mistakes or do bad actions, and that bad people can make mistakes and do good actions. With or without manipulation. That if things sound insane, it might be because they are just exaggerating their story. That they might or might not be the victim, and that good can handle bad for a long time before they break, or any other situation. Good can do bad things, when they've suffered a long time; and that you can't always believe everyone's story to be gospel. Good, bad, we're just people.

These are real people, don't blur the lines of rp and them. They might do bad actions, and be good. They might do good actions, and be bad. But they could just be people, who make mistakes, have misunderstandings, and suffer the fallout for a long, long, time. Hold grudges and hold them long after others change, and when that happens, they could see any good action as manipulation or some other negativr reason for the way they're acting. That they could accidentally become manipulators themselves. Cycle of abuse is real, and the victim turns into a new abuser, but often the one they are abusing is a new innocent person, a new victim. No one deserves abuse, and often there's no reason behind it. Certainly not a good, justifiable, reason.

Remember any time you've acted crazy, sometimes you were pushed to it, sometimes it was deserved, sometimes you were in the wrong, but you felt it was the right often, or otherwise had a reason, didn't you? It's important to self reflect, because sometimes we make mistakes.

Often, someone being mean might be a bad day. Maybe they got in a fight with someone they like, or got shouted at, or one too many people cut them off (maybe drive faster bbg. thats a joke). It's not justified, but understanding is the first step. Maybe they're being mistreated, and it comes out, or they just simply don't have anything else to compare it to.

But at the end of the day, communication is key, and make your own judgements on your experiences or others if you listen. If you are weary but like their character, that's alright. These are real people and sometimes good and bad are just colors on a spectrum. You can be good, and do something bad.

People are just people, with traumas and triggers and it can be hard to stay out of a cycle of abuse when perhaps everything might be bringing them down. Not justified, but understanding.

And if someone is truly bad to you, mean to you, the block button is easy to find. If they start to do something, anon asks or messages, harass you, report for harassment and block again. Tell others and show them, maybe, so they can help, close friends, or people who listen.

Stay safe, everyone. Blocking and walking away is sometimes the best option.

[fyodior]

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[graff-aganda]

fantastic news for me: I only have three sticker sheets left to power through 😤😤😤

[kkoct-ik]

the lesser known did symptom of not knowing anything about your life because not only do you not remember anything (and the memories you Do have are heavily fragmented so you have no idea when they occured), but you also consistently destroy all traces of yourself during dissociative episodes. rip every diary ive tried to keep and almost every social media account. i will never know what i got up to or who i was during those years

i have a spreadsheet i use for documenting memories that turn up before i can forget them again. where i also do my best to estimate what year or season or month they came from. but its all just such a mess. even 2021 onwards which are supposed to be my therapy years are very very patchy. i wish i could just know my life

[qoldenskies]

WAIT I THINK I RECOGNIZE YOU. TELL ME IF IM BEING STUPID BUT DID YOU WRITE CAMP CAMP FANFICTION PERHAPS

CHOKES ON BLOOD

yeas....... i was 13 whole years old....... 😔 my dark past finally catches up to me

[wifegideonnav]

tbh when mitski said “you’re my best friend/now i’ve no one to tell/how i lost my best friend”

[halorocks1214]

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[in-stitchesx]

I can't make text posts because when I'm upset I only speak like Shakespeare sorry

[idiaa-shroxd]

Your cat cafe au is so much fun and so soft I adore it but hearing that Malleus and Leona's cats are friends is so funny to me and spawned the worst idea XD Prefect: Leona, Nebula is pregnant Leona: ...By who? Prefect gestures to Oatmeal and Nebula cuddling.

we share the same brain!! actually working on the cat au ask right now, but have a few irl emergencies that prevented my writing, and here’s a little bit of it! but first let me just say this is 100% my thought process if you and rook have yet to neuter the kitties. oatmeal and nebula have a romeo and juliet love story! \(//∇//)\ more under cut! this isn’t canon in the au or anything but a fun concept!!

“Nebula has never looked better, he scooped her up in one arm and held her firmly against his bicep, smug as she meowed up at him and purred loudly. He had zero hesitation to hold her while walking to his fated rival, looking him and his cat up and down before scoffing. The two proceeded to argue over who’s cat looked better wearing their dorm uniform for a bit, as the two cats seemed content in their arms without hostility to one another. - Leona Kingscholar

Malleus Draconia - As Leona argues with him half his brain has melted to this is the greatest cat. Cat precious. My firstborn is the best in this world. The other half of him smugly picks up his son in his own arm, the cat against his own bicep as he begins talking about how regal he is. Honestly, his cat is just happy to spend time with him and begins playfully nipping at him after not getting enough attention.”

anyways back to the ask!! I’d like to imagine if that actually happened then leona would freak out at malleus, while malleus is shocked he is getting his first grandchild with you already as you reiterate that is a cat, and you both are not married. he’s not listening, to you or leona. they end up being that in law family that despise one another thoroughly like my child is too good for your child but i don’t want to lose custody of my grandchild. cats tend to have multiple kitties at once so im thinking depending on the amount the may definitely mean the boys now live ay Ramshackle with the kittens, with Nebula nipping at her dad proudly showing him her babies and Oatmeal showing his dad his babies too, forcing the two men to bond despite their prominent scowls, but they avoid being too loud because you remind them kittens are sensitive to noises. (。-∀-)

they’d definitely end up trying to adopt the kittens when you graduate.. but that custody battle is a talk for a different day. on the bright side Oatmeal and Nebula finally get to stay with each other openly as they raise the kitties.

for anyone curious ( ^ω^ ) been busy these past few weeks with art fight, and my cat needed a vet emergency, still have to return to the vet later this week, but i’m also working on a r-18 birthday leona fic! friendly reminder my navigation does say mdni and you are responsible for the content on my profile that you view!♪

Σ('◉⌓◉’) actually haven’t written r-18 works for social media in a bit, but i will try my best to make the fic! if anyone does not want to view the content, please block the tag “shrouded in desire.” which i will be tagging the fic, and all r-18+ fics on my profile for those who do not want to see the content!

[good-beans]

Repeating to myself There is no harm in making a mistake. There is no harm in people knowing you made a mistake. There is no harm in people thinking you're stupid. There is no harm in making a mistake. There is

[magic-is-something-we-create]

if you have no idea what im talking about, these are the intros im referencing!! i still have several lined up for posting (namely the main antag and the eternal three) and a Very Long List of other intros to eventually do for the series, but i want to know what y'all would like to see once the current backlog is posted!!

[chainsawworld]

Oh g-d I've been withdrawing

[impostorsshow]

Tips on how to be just as sexy as you?

Y'know I was gonna make a funny ha ha comic about me having no rizz but I actually uh. Have gotten asked out like 5 times in the past 4 or 5 years,and I've gotten in 3 relationships without making any of the first moves so uh. Idk be autistic and find someone who your happy to hang around with and natural rizz will come out

[pepprs]

like at some point i have ti admit it to myself. it’s a 2am delirious ramble after a hard sad day. but i don’t think i like my job very much actually. i mean i do i love it and it was made for me and i made it for me too. but how come something that i love and was made for me and that i made hurts so bad and so primally? how can i like something that brings me so much stress and grief and despair so regularly?

[toomuchtobelong]

vent post, ignore if u want:

i have this friend and i love her so much, like idk how legit platonic crushes go but she would definitely be my friend crush. however, sometimes especially lately our friendship has felt so one sided. when we text and i send her like three things she only responds to a few of my texts, she only texted me first when i hadn’t reached out in while, she says that we will do certain stuff and then she always gives ambiguous answers and we don’t do the things we agreed on and she never asks me how i am, if i say im sick or something is wrong she never she never says get well soon or anything more than that sucks and i always let her rant but whenever i need something her answers are short and cold.

and i know i come off strong and rude and im too much for most people (hence the username), and i can be clingy or opinionated in a not-so-eloquent way. i know, ive been told it a 10000000 times. and i know that i am complaining about nothing and the fact that i should be grateful enough that anyone at all would call me of all people their friend despite all my short comes.

but it just seems like she isn’t interested in me and sometimes i feel like i’m just clingy, when i ask if im overstepping she says i am not but still. we are also working on something together and that thing makes me so happy, i feel like i need her because i value her as a person and as a friend. so im just venting cause she has enough to worry about in her life and i don’t want to add to that by burdening her with my selfish and childhood feelings.

[kijosakka]

how old are thee?

you fool. believing me to have an Age,