#because otherwise I feel like I'll have to manage other people's emotions about things in addition to my own

[albtrosz]

.

[curtailedwhale]

I guess it's probably for the best that I develop a pregnancy complication right after we decide to go public, but also I'm a little miffed about it.

[jvnluvr]

blue lock boys when they are drunk ♡

when the blue lock boys come home drunk, all they want is you.

ft. sae, rin & kaiser x f!reader

author’s note: im a sucker for my favs okay? fluffiest fluff i’ve ever written i almost cried ten different times send help hsish. also thank you all for 100 followers, i love u all sm mwah. i’m working on requests, they will come soon! otherwise please enjoy <33

itoshi sae:

god, he didn’t even know how he ended up in this position. all sae could remember was losing his game, walking out of that stadium with his usual blank expression, but then his legs took him to the nearest bar. he’s so drunk, heck, he even remembers smoking a cigarette or two while he was chugging down everything. he's overcome with a lot of emotions, but then he remembers.

he wants to go home. he’s up, and he’s walking home. it’s late, its dark, yet he’s still able to somehow manage to get to the front step before he knocks on the door, holding onto it because he’ll fall if he doesn’t. that’s when you open the door and sae falls into your arms. "sae-? what happened?" you ask, trying your best to not let him fall while shutting the door.

you already knew he lost, you were obviously watching the streamed game. but when sae loses, he shuts everyone out for a day at the very least. however, it's weird to find him falling onto you, at your doorstep, and incredibly late at night. he smells like cigarettes, and that's when you understand what is going on.

"sit down, i'll get you water." you guide him to the couch, slowly trying to let go of his arm so you can lie down, but he doesn't let go of you. instead, he pulls you down with him so you're lying down on top of him. "uh, what's this about? you gonna talk to me..?" to say you're confused right now is kind of an understatement. sae hasn't spoken a word to you since he entered, just mindless grumbles and sighs until now, where it's almost like he's searching into your eyes for something.

"y'know, you're a whole lot prettier up close, right?"

what..?

your eyes probably looked bugged right now. you know he's not sober, but when people are drunk, their true feelings come out. sae's never really been an openly affectionate man, you knew that from the moment you met him. so hearing him suddenly throw a compliment into your face has you stunned to say the least.

"c'mon don't look at me like that... this is new to me too.." he mumbles, a red tint starting to appear on his cheeks. he grabs you by your waist to sit you on his lap, and you start to turn red too. "seriously, what's gotten into you sae?" you ask quietly, you both letting out a small chuckle as you stare at each other.

"i don' know.. it's your fault." you tilt your head as his one hand intertwines with yours. "you have beautiful eyes too.. you know that?" you let out a little gasp as your eyes avert away from him. you can feel your ears getting hotter and hotter as each seconds by. now you're actually worried, since when has he thought of these things?

sae put a hand on your cheek to turn you back to him. he has that soft smile plastered onto his face. your gaze softens as he continues talking to you. "you've always had.. that bright light in your eyes... even the first night we met. 't was what got me so interested in you." you bite your lip at that, small water drops forming into your eyes. it wasn't possible for your heart to not melt as those words. "the only thing.. i could think about.. was how much i liked you. how much my heart yearned for you. for how happy i am, to have you in my life now."

he wipes a tear of yours while eliciting that little soft but deep chuckle you always adored. "c'mon, don't cry, was just being honest.." he hugged you, burying his face into your neck and closing his eyes. you were almost certain that after that the alcohol consumed him, that he was too drowsy to even remember all the words he just said. but it's okay. for the chance you got to see itoshi sae confess his love in his own way. you whispered out an "i love you' before falling asleep beside him.

michael kaiser:

"babyy, i'm homee!" yeah, he was definitely slurring over each word he said. you walked out the kitchen, staring as kaiser almost fell atleast 5 times trying to walk over to you. it was hard to try and not laugh at how adorable he was being all tipsy, it was like he was a little child again.

“michael.” you giggled, trying to get him to sit on the chair but you both fell against each other on the floor. “that hurt!” his cheeks are more than just flushed and his eyes are half open. "who are ya, and where's my girlfriend?" to be honest, you were kind of hurt that he couldn't recognize you even while you were right in his face, but kaiser can be a little slow even when sober.

"c'mon michael, 'is me, your girlfriend." you retorted, wrapping your arms around him in an attempt to get him to sit down on a chair. but of course, kaiser being kaiser doesn't want to be apart from you for even a second, so he pulls you onto his lap. "i know, 'was just messin' with ya. i'm not that drunk, y'know?" you could only blankly stare at him as he confessed to that. even the dumbest person alive could tell that lie straight through his teeth.

"you are seriously not gonna tell me you aren't THAT drunk. you slipped over the fuckin' air." you both looked at each other, slightly grinning at that. silence. ah there it is, you both burst out laughing not even a second after, because you know it was true. "honestly though, you REEK of alcohol, go shower or somethin'." you tried getting off his lap, you really did. but does he care? of course not.

"no, 'm gonna stay here, too tired to shower..." you let out a small sigh at that, but if he wasn't going to get into the shower, you weren't going to let him doze off in his uncomfy chair. both of your backs couldn't take that kind of pain right now. "okay okay, we're both tired, let's go to bed, hm?" kaiser quietly grumbled as a counter, not wanting to let you go. at that point, your sounds started to sound more grumpy. you should have dragged him to bed when you had the chance.

"hiii babyy, i love you." kaiser suddenly said, with a smile hanging ear to ear. you didn't know what he was up to, but you just quietly ignored his statement of affection. "you're really cute when you're grumpy," he added, followed by a bunch of little mischievous giggles. "but you're cute all the time, so it makes it absolutelyyy irresistible to stay mad at you." you're so embarrassed by kaiser's sudden overload of compliments that, you start to playfully hit him? one hit to the arm, one hit to the head, and you continue in order to stop being so flustered by the drunk man in front of you.

"ow! i literally said you're cute, why are you hitting me- stop! ow!" even if you were hitting him, kaiser couldn't help but let out more laughs when he realized why you were hitting him. "aww, you're embarrased, aren't ya?" he pressed you for a kiss, but you just put your hand over his mouth to push him back. you couldn't take being more abashed over your extraordinarily drunk boyfriend.

"if you're not gonna accept my love, let me properly confess it, alrightt?" again, you were too afraid to even blurt out a single world in fear of stuttering and having kaiser coo into your ear about how cute you were. so you just looked at him, waiting for him to continue his speech. "got your attention, pretty? i've had a crush on you since the first time i met you, like the biggest crush ever, like the moment i saw you i swear those hearts appeared in my eyes like they do in cartoon shows." he was stuttering as the alcohol was still rushing in his system, but kaiser sounded like a little boy who had been lovestruck with the mere thought of you.

"you're so stupid sometimes.." you mumbled, but nonetheless giddy with happiness and love. "maybe, but i'm stupidly in love with you." all you could do was let out a sheepish smile before pulling him into a hug. "i love you.." and that was followed with snores. you didn't really plan on how to move kaiser out of this awkward position, but what you did know that he was a pretty cute lovestruck man when he was drunk.

itoshi rin:

rin isn't one to typically get drunk, he's not even one to have maybe more than three shots of alcohol at most. but tonight, he went completely overboard. maybe the drinks just tasted good, maybe he had lost his mind. not the matter of how he got drunk, but he was stumbling into your shared apartment when you just barely saw you peeking through your bedroom door through his blurry eyes.

"rin, are you okay..?" you murmured, slowing walking towards him. "mm, 'm fine, were you sleeping?" even if he was on the verge of passing out, rin was one of those guys who was able to maintain his composure. he didn't like how he felt, so he stride towards the kitchen, aching for a glass of water. "was waiting for you, did you drink, rin?" he turned around to see you standing there waiting for him.

"mhm, sorry, don't know what got over me. wait in the room for me, i'll be in there soon." he replied, turning back around to put his glass in the sink, but when he shifted back, he could still see you waiting his in peripheral vision. "what are you waiting for, [name]?" rin asked, still feeling the horrible effects of the alcohol continuing to flow through his blood stream. "i told you, 'm waiting for you." you knew that if you went back, he would fall asleep on the nearby couch, heck even fall and just pass out on the floor, he was drunk out of his mind.

"alright, c'mon let's go." he slowly trailed behind you, the cold air hitting him in the face when he realized he feels way too hot. rin slowly discards his jacket and his shirt, moving to lie down with you. but the one thing he couldn't help but notice is that you didn't make direct eye contact with him, your eyes are averted in every direction except his, why is that? maybe the reason he hated alcohol so much is because of what it does to him. he wants your attention, he craves for your touch, it's weird to him.

so rin extends his arm towards you, he has a hold on your waist before you're too close to him. "what's wrong..?" he examines you, how you're still not looking into his eyes. "look at me, why aren't you looking at me honey?" he's surprised that it does the trick, because your eyes are finally in his direct field of view, and his heart melts. "nothin', just thought you might have wanted to sleep, so didn't wanna' bother you." you answered shyly, realizing now that he wanted nothing more than you. it's silent for a bit, just the both of you in each other's embrace, lying down in the dark.

"mm, you don't bother me, you know that?" he starts, rin doesn't realize that all of sudden he's rambling to you. "i say you shouldn't be nervous but the truth is.. i'm always a bit nervous around you. we've been together for a while but.. i don't know.. i just.. always want to know more about you. it drives me insane sometimes, 'cause i don't usually care about people like that. but for you i just-" he's pulling you closer into your chest, noticing how your grip tightens on him as he continues speaking. "i just want to know every tiny detail about you. i notice the small things about you. the way your smile goes slightly down, you touch the tip of your eyes when your embarrassed, and you always touch the same spot-" he intertwines his hands with yours, rubbing over the spot he's just about to mention. "you always touch the same spot of your hand when you're focused. i pay attention to those things because i care about you, i hope you knew that."

"rin.." you whisper, it's all you could physically verbalize. but all you could feel were the hot tears you were spilling onto his chest. you felt guilty, quickly trying to wipe them away, but he looked down to hush your sobs. "'m sorry, didn't wanna make you cry. i meant it though, even if i don't say it much." it's undeniable that you just want to be even closer to him than humanely possible, you wouldn't dare think of even letting him go for a second after that. "i think you should get drunk more often," which dragged a small string of chuckles from you two. "being drunk sucks, but we can compromise and i'll try and tell you how much i love and want to be with you more, yea?" rin shared, fumbling over his words. yep, still definitely drunk.

"mhm, go to sleep now, 'kay?" you acknowledged, content with how tonight turned out to be. "you go to sleep too, i love you." and rin let himself pass out in the comfort of your presence. not only until a few moments later could you say 'i love you' back, but he was secretly waiting to fall asleep until he heard confirmation of your feelings.

[glorious-spoon]

9-1-1 Season 7 Post-Mortem

Mostly because I want to put my thoughts in order. Full disclosure: I'm really not thrilled with a lot of the choices this season made, but I'm also not at the 'fuck this show I hate it now' level either. The primary, overarching issue, IMO, is that they tried to stuff a full season's worth of plot into ten episodes, and the pacing and emotional continuity suffered badly. And also there were some writing choices that were simply deranged (and hopefully would have been reworked had they not been laying down the tracks in front of the speeding train, so to speak).

(Cut for me rambling at length)

So: Bobby and Athena were largely really solidly written. The cruise ship disaster was great: campy and OTT, but in a fun way. Their marital issues and the eventual resolution felt like a natural continuation of issues they've had in the past. Bobby Begins 3.0 was a great episode other than the cartel element, which was some ill-considered racial stereotyping (I've said it before and I'll say it again: you could have had the antagonists in that episode be a bunch of angry locals threatening people for tresspassing on their property, and the whole thing would have been 100% less gross without actually changing much of the plot. Really felt like Tim was cribbing from the similar Lone Star arc, which was also lazy and racist). Amir was a fantastic character, and while I could have done without that last scene of him offering Bobby absolution, I feel like he was generally allowed to be both gracious and rightfully angry. The cop Athena stuff in the finale was... less great, but also to be expected. I would have liked much less of that and much more time spent at Bobby's bedside.

(I'm really sad about the house fire mostly because that was one of my favorite sets, but I do appreciate the poetry of the parallel, with Bobby actually managing to get his wife out this time. Though I do wonder where Harry was that night, lmao.)

Hen was similarly wonderful. I really liked getting to see her wrestle with the responsibility of being captain, and the fallout of the car accident scene. In a vacuum, I actually like Ortiz as a villain - a complicated one, with sympathetic motivations, but still ostentatiously cruel. Were it not for the fact that there are basically NO latine characters other than Eddie who aren't villains this season, it would have been great. ALAS.

Did not love the rescue dog/foster child parallel with Mara. Otherwise really loved getting to see her settle in with the Wilsons, and I'm really glad that we got to see Chim and Maddie take her in instead of leaving her at the group home by the end of the season. Really leaned into the found family element, and Chim taking care of his best friend's child in the same way that Mrs. Lee did for him.

CHIM! Chim my beloved. 'There Goes The Groom' is the one episode that I have basically no issues with at all. The hallucinatory trip through Los Angeles, wrestling with Doug's ghost, was gorgeous. Bringing back Kevin - also gorgeous. I loved that we see the Lees explicitly framed as his real family (and am spitefully glad that his bio dad was nowhere to be found. Fuck that guy.) Kenny continues to be, IMO, the best actor on this show. He killed it. We need so many more Chim-centric episodes, because they're always SO good. He can make both humor and pathos feel so natural and human. Give us more Chim!

And of course on to Buck's bisexual arc, which was... so painfully Buck, lmao. Full disclosure: I have a lot of trouble rewatching 7x04 and 7x05 because the secondhand embarrassment is just too much for me, but objectively it feels very right and in character for him. LOVED the first kiss scene, with his dawning realization of what's about to happen and his softly stunned joy afterward. His coming out scenes with both Maddie and Eddie were lovely and perfectly appropriate to both relationships. I really liked him taking the initiative to reach out to Tommy to apologize and ask for a second chance after he fucked up their first date. Loved Tommy showing up at the hospital after what was clearly a long, miserable shift.

Their date in the finale didn't really land for me mostly because of where it was placed in the episode; if they did something with the two of them after Buck spent the entire day at Bobby's bedside waiting to see if he was going to live, it would have felt a lot more natural to me to have them exhaustedly eating takeout on the couch or something instead of having a formal sit-down date with wine and place settings. Intentionally or not, that made it feel like they're still on Date Behavior with each other and despite some gestures toward emotional vulnerability, they're not quite there yet - as seen by Buck steering the conversation back to flirting and innuendo. My overall feeling on the relationship at this point is that it's cute, but I'm not seeing any real depth of feeling between them yet.

Buck and Eddie on the other hand - look, despite my many MANY issues with Eddie's plot this season, I loved how his relationship with Buck was written. I love the intimacy and familiarity of how they are together, I loved the way Eddie let himself lean on Buck, I loved how Buck is clearly positioned as an integral part of the Diaz family.

Unfortunately, that's really the only thing I loved about Eddie's plot this season. His relationship with Marisol was ultimately pointless; she was never fleshed out enough to feel like a real character, and we never even see the fallout of Eddie's cheating with regard to her; it's all Chris. The Kim stuff strained credulity, and also I never felt like he got any kind of emotional catharsis or resolution through it; he still hasn't really confronted any of his issues about Shannon, about their marriage and how it ended. That whole arc felt really wobbly in terms of tone, as well: using plot elements of a very famous psychological thriller without actually acknowledging any of the creepiness of it. I would have liked it to lean into that more especially with the scene where Kim dresses up as Shannon, an objectively creepy and unhinged thing to do.

The Diaz parents handled the Chris thing in a selfish and opportunistic way that felt both disappointing and inevitable. Hopefully that's going to be a hook for the next season and Eddie actually confronting them, but overall Eddie's plot this season really felt like they just tossed a bunch of balls up in the air and mostly failed to catch them.

Gerrard - look, I'm not that worried about Gerrard. I could have done without him, but ultimately he's going to stick around just long enough to make his inevitable defeat satisfying. At least, that's my hope.

[not-goldy]

the thing is I'm sure jimin was suffering too during the months jungkook was working nonstop like july,september,october,november

I'm sure he missed jungkook just as much he's just way more lowkey about it and would never showcase it online

just different types of people

I don't disagree

He's either better at pretending things don't bother him when they do or better at processing negative feelings as and when they arise because if it were me, FAM🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

The whole world is about to know.

The in laws will know

The siblings will know

The ancestors will know

The pastor will know

Even your therapist will hear about it.

I'll call into radio shows and air our business cos you are not about to make me the broken hearted girl😌

And missing someone who isn't reaching out to you is a whole other level of pain Jesus 😕 💔

Forget the ego

It's your self respect vs your emotional needs and feeding one destroys the other. You don't know pain till you've been put in that tormenting situation.

And it makes a lot of sense why dude keeps complaining about chronic loneliness dude been repressing so much it's alienating😭😭😭😭😭

I want to go to therapy with Jimin😭😭😭😭😭😭

There's a lot we both need to work through

And I feel he's wrapped himself in so much principles it's barring him from expressing certain things certain very human things that's now working against him.

He set himself up and now he gotta hide certain things and certain feelings

Imagine telling Jungkook he's childish for throwing tantrums when he misses you- now you gotta be the better person and live as an example when you in the same situation otherwise you no better🥴

Imagine constantly setting yourself up like that. Imagine feeling you have to be the better and bigger person in every situation because you feel your whole life is an example to others.

He has that first born curse and 1st born syndrome. He expects too much of himself and he's allowed those around him from the BTS group to his fans to have the same high expectations of him.

I'm not mad at that except it can be draining and exhausting and a lonely experience cos not too many can relate.

And people wonder why his solos are the way they are constantly making up ridiculous unsustainable unattainable standards for both him and others to follow, constantly putting him on a pedestal and acting shook if he goes off even a little bit.

Meanwhile he's only human and humans aren't perfectly flawed. ITS OKAY TO HAVE FLAWS you know??

I'm glad Jk spoke about Namjoon admitting he didn't know what to do with Jk. When it was happening and I spoke about it people came for me. I recall people making such a big fuss about me saying Namjoon gives of elitist energy (much like PJMs) and was constantly having at it with Jungkook because he wouldn't fall in line while Jimin would.

I said this before, Jimin made his leadership so easy for him because people like that do not stirr shit up. They are predictable easy to manage and easy to deal with.

And I recall saying they were constantly looking up to Jimin to set the pace and keep Jungkook in check and how that was a lot for a teen- because Jimin was a teen too.

That expectation of perfectionism is crazy. I'm not a fan of anyone who expects that of Jimin- particularly his solo stans. Namjoon can get away with it, he's tall.

Dude didn't want to be bothered he just wanted an easy tenure of office and Jungkook was anything but. It's why he will always write him letters and always invest energy into repairing their dynamic and why he would always feel he owes Jungkook an apology.

And Suga is right in telling him never mind. Embrace your self the whole of yourself it's okay to make mistakes it's okay to be flawed

You don't gotta live life in a constant teacher mood where you feel every aspect of you is a curated lesson for others.

And I'm glad he explored this theme in his 1st album but please Jimin, let's go to therapy 😩

We have so much to work on baby

Or who knows, may be he's just super human and I'm wrong🥴

[dietmountaindewbae]

FUCKING LOVE UR FICCCSSSS OMG

I hope you're doing wellll,,,I'm missing u girl

Could you do more of those Teacher Alex x reader fics?? i just love that kinda scenario sorry 😭😭

Small question too,where do you get those pictures for the story banners? I got kinda curious

Hope you're doing well!! take care ♡♡

xx. lights, camera, action

alex turner x reader

word count: 9428

summary: Alex (tbhc!) is your theater teacher, and you earned the part of Juliet for your final play at high school, but he isn't so glad about it, he thinks you lack emotion, and today at private rehearsals you get your chance to show it.

warnings: spitt*ng, chock*ng, slapp*ng, spank*nd, denial of org*sm, teasing, age g*p, roughness, manipulat*on

song recommendation: put me in a movie by lizzy grant

───── ୨୧ ─────

You crawled out of your bed waking up extra early to get to school, the classes went by in a daze, you knew by lunch maybe the time would go by quicker, and you went through today's lines over and over in your head during lunch, memorizing them so you didn't make a single mistake at saying them. Mister Turner wasn't so glad you somehow managed to get Juliet at the school play, people said you deserved it, and your audition was the best of them all, no stuttering, no doubting, but Mister Turner didn't make you feel like you did, because he said you missed a crucial thing, he just made you feel helpless and dumb whenever he stared at you with a scowl or he looked away while you were saying your lines, in your head you asked yourself over and over 'what am I missing?'. He never told you what you were doing wrong.

Rehearsal began and your heart was beating so fast you could feel your ears warm, and your mouth started to get dry, today you had to practice Act 2 Scene 2, meaning, one of the hardest scenes you had to do, the balcony scene.

"Cut!" Mister Turner said as you were holding Charlie's hands, the boy who played Romeo in your class, you were glad it was him, he was your buddy. The teacher walked up the stage and rolled his shirt sleeves, crossing his arms and standing like a tall tree.

"What did we-" He stopped at Charlie, glanced at you, and sighed, looking at you with disapproval.

"You've got to stop being so stiff, you love him!" He yells and it echoes through the whole stage and in your heart, "You better start acting like my Juliet otherwise I'll cast someone else, 'cause yer not makin' the cut" He saw your bottom lip trembling and your eyes and cheeks turning red.

"But I-"

"I could understand that you're young, and you're innocent and pretty, whatever you think you are, but so is Juliet and it amazes me that you can't do something as simple as letting go," Your eyes began to water, "So you're going to do this or what?" He asked you with his hands on his hips, and you stayed silent, your eyes glassy and about to let the tears roll down your face.

"I am you girl" That's all you managed to say before you went running out of the stage to cry, why was he so rude? Other days he was just sarcastic and let you do whatever, but today he was furious at you, and you just wanted to do things right to avoid him yelling at you like today.

After 10 minutes in the bathroom, you found the whole place empty, "I asked 'em to leave, I need to work with you" He walked up to you with his hands in his pockets, and from his left pocket, he took out a handkerchief, and gave it to you to wipe your tears.

"Thank you," You said, as you grabbed the handkerchief.

He sat down on the piano's chair, legs and arms crossed, and he sighed "I notice that this scene and Act 5 cause you problems, care to tell me why that happens miss?"

"I don't know" You whispered, he closed his eyes slowly, and nudged his head, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Right.... you don't" He crosses his arms, "Have you ever felt love? And I'm not just talking about that type of fraternal love for your friends or your mummy and daddy, I'm talking about the real deal, raw love" You thought about it and nodded your head slowly, he eyed you up and down, "Think about this love for a boy, that could never be blessed, because your family and his family despise each other so you see him in secret, but one day you make a plan to stay with him for good, and it fails, both of you die for each other because the other one cannot bear to live without the other, and it impacts people when they find out the truth about this suicidal love, a young girl and boy, that loved each other so much it made them... kill themselves"

"I understand-"

He cuts you up, "No you don't" He jumped on the stage with you.

"Imagine I am the one that you're madly in love with, we meet and we dance" He took your hand and closed his fingers with yours, his other hand gently holding your waist, he wasn't so far away from the truth, you look straight into his eyes, they're filled with darkness as you begin to dance, you could feel something inside you rise, that you once didn't allow to do, fighting itself with you, he pressed you closer to him, "Lay your head, and relax... you're still tense... c'mon, it's ok"

You did as you were told, you put your hand by his chest as he rocked you, he danced very well, and that made you feel a little dumber and unuseful, "I'm sorry if I'm not doing it right... I have never danced like this before" He smiled at you, a true sweet and gentle smile.

"Well, what else haven't you done before?" He asks you, making you blush at the thought, "I know there's a rule by society that you shouldn't be alone with me, out of respect we shouldn't have a friendship, but we are at late hours of school, so fuck it" You both chuckled at the same time, "You can trust me" He said with confidence and you nodded.

"I-... haven't been with anyone, haven't kissed anyone in a while, I've never had a boyfriend but I do like boys a lot, when I try to flirt it's just-," You sigh, "So, I guess I can't say these lines because it makes me think it would be so embarrassing for me to act in love when everyone thinks I'm just playing a princess as a joke,"

"Tell 'em to piss off" He spat, "Are yeh going to be my Juliet or not?" He asked you sincerely breaking up the closure.

"I-I mean" You stuttered taking a step forward, making him get angry just like last time, and he sighed, he was disappointed.

"Go home" He orders walking away from you but you stop him, pulling him back close to you.

You were growing angry and desperate, you needed him to know that no other girl could give more than you, could be as willing as you, "I want this, truly! I want you to put me in this play! As your Juliet, I won't allow any other girl, they won't take this as seriously-"

"That doesn't matter, show me you can do it and I'll keep you, but if you don't-" He pointed his fingers at your face, you wanted to cry again, but instead, you did let go, had set free of any chains or thoughts that you said weren't appropriate, in love everything is right, being selfish is right, being scared it's alright too, so you were bold, and pecked his lips, the touch and feel of your lips lingering, his eyes become as dark as the night and that tiny kiss quickly turned into a hungry and sloppy tongue kiss from his part, gripping your arms too tightly, you swear that you can feel the bruises.

You kissed until you felt your lips were about to fall off, your little cherry gloss was all over the corners of your mouth and sticking in his lips, "I am your girl" You panted.

He puts his hands behind your hand, caressing the front of your hair, and clasping it to the side, his face is so close to your neck that his breathing was tickling you, he memorized the smell of your perfume and gently laid a kiss on your skin, you swallowed the lump in your throat, he looks at you with a smile, a perverted one, and you didn't understand why'd you like it so much.

"You've got such a sweet little face that any man wishes to provoke only evil, lips so pouty and plump, you only wish to kiss them until they're bleeding," He folds your lower lip down with his thumb, and you smiled, as he slowly puts his fingers inside your mouth pushing your teeth to make a hole for him to dig in your warm mouth, he was amazed by the way your tongue instinctively moved around in circles on his fingers, you smiled feeling both ashamed and excited, "You know what you're doin' aren't you?" His fingers squished your face hard, you pulled back but he pulled you in.

"What do you want from me?"

"To understand why every time I yell at you you look at me as if you wanted me to yell at you more, to at least say something to you, you worked hard to get me attention, and now you have it, I've always watched you push yourself to be perfect, but when do you let go? Where do you start and where do you end? Do you even feel?... I have so much fun trying to figure you out, little girl" He pushed your hair to the side, "You're beautiful, you know that?"

You nodded and looked at him weary-eyed, he knew you were lying he could see it in your eyes and the way your chin twitched, there was no hiding from him, "Make me feel beautiful" You asked him caressing his shoulders, "I just wanted you to see that I could do it"

"You always were, I knew it from the moment I saw you, that you and I are alike, that you should be with no one else but me, you know you need me, you do" He assures you with great pressure, you smiled and nodded your head, this is what you wanted from the beginning. Him. You smiled at him, and he pressed you up against him, hand on his cheek as he caressed it, and he kissed you with a passion that made you sigh, his lips touched yours with love and tenderness as if he was deeply in love with you. His arms hug your waist, and your hands caress his soft long hair, your fingers twisting around the end of his brown hair, his beard lightly tickling your cheek, your heart flutters when you feel him smiling and his hand cups your cheek, you get so deep into the kiss losing yourself entirely in his arms, focusing on the noises of your mouth when you kissed him, the taste of his lips, his nose on your cheek and his hand that gets lower to your hips, you moan into his mouth by picturing what could happen next, you felt it in your core, something in between your legs was getting so wet, palpitating even.

"I really like you-" He lets go of your hand and takes a few steps away from you, you raise your eyebrow at him, puzzled.

"I want you to go home and think about this, I won't touch you, or kiss you anymore, not until you've shown me that you're capable of earning and demolishing that role, show me what you're made of" You look at him so confused about what had happened, how could he kiss you, and say that you were the same as him, that he liked you and then tell you that you still didn't convince him, you went back home running to cry unto your pillows, had no one to talk about what happened because you wanted it to happen again, people would look at you like an absolute mad person, you wanted him to touch you again, to rock you against his body, you wanted him to want you again.

During the last few rehearsals for the show you were doing good, but you kept pushing yourself to make it better, Mister Turner seemed to pay more attention to you but he kept talking to other girls and staring at you as you looked at him with your eyebrows furrowed, it was a whole week of running back home with tears in your eyes, and at night your mind couldn't stop creating scenarios of your and him, you touched yourself over and over again, he made you love him madly with a few kisses and simple words, but after tomorrow when the play launched this suffering would be over.

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆

You went to get ready two hours before everyone was there, they were still setting up the stage while you were out in your long and folded ancient dress, hair, and makeup ready, lines memorized like a bible that you prayed into every night, "Hello" A voice echoed thru the room, it was him with his thick Yorkshire accent and voice, approaching you slowly.

"Hi," You said back, he stood behind you, looking at you through the mirror of your vanity, he stared at you like a perfect painting, and your breathing got stuck in your throat when he leaned forward to your ear.

"Thought you'd be here earlier... come with me little girl" He ordered grabbing your wrists and pulling you up, you swallowed down a big lump in your throat and he walked you inside his office, you shut the door behind you carrying your dress in your hands to keep it clean, "Sit down" He pulled out a chair for you and his hands lightly caress your hair, twisting in his index finger the shape of your curls, he grabbed your hand signing you to stand up, and he cupped your cheek, your turn your head to the side and closed your eyes as you feel his lips on top of yours, you thought he would kiss you just like the day that your lips touched his, and his fingers would be inside your mouth feeling how warm and tiny it was, you whimpered as he pulled back, you felt both embarrassed and a bit turned on, because you remembered yourself at night, touching yourself like an idiot to a faint picture of him.

"You know why you're here, right?" You said no with your head, "I want you to remember what it's like to be sent to heaven and dragged down to earth, I want you to feel the despair for another kiss, would you do anything for another kiss?"

"Yes," You firmly answered, "I need it, please... I need you so bad" His eyebrow twitched at the way your voice sounded so desperate.

"Unpatient, aren't we?" He giggled at you, opening the door of his office for you to leave, you went outside with your head to the floor "Give me your everything, and I'll see you after the play is over"

You had convinced yourself to give your best for him, convinced yourself about your true love and admiration for him, you would do anything to please him, anything to make him smile at you even for a split second, you'd do anything to make him love you, and to make him stay with you, because that's all that you wanted, for him to keep you like a bunny in a cage.

"You're such a good girl you know that? I mean it" He raised your chin with his finger, and you nodded your head again, "And you'll make me proud right little girl?" You said yes with your head, "Good"

And indeed the show was a success, everyone threw you roses at the end before the curtains closed, you tried to put a picture to your emotions through the way you spoke, added more emotion to what you said, and how you said it, you were confident from start to end, and you made some people cry with the way your love for Romeo simply got more complicated to come true, and at the end when you die you hear a standing ovation coming from the chairs, you wait for the curtains to close and you run to hug Alex, pushing him to a dark corner to kiss him with a passion, your lipstick smudging his lips and biting down aggressively on his bottom lip.

"I'm so proud of you bunny, you're the best... my little princess, my Juliet" You blush hard and he sends you running back to the stage to let the curtains open, flowers landing at your feet, your mom and dad standing in the front row clapping as loud as they could.

In the end, everyone took pictures with you, your name being praised was echoing through the room, and some hints of jealous mothers talking about how their daughters would've been just as good, but then Mister Turner walked across you with a smirk splattered on his face. You smiled at the camera and convinced your mother to let you go out to dinner with some friends just so you could be alone with the man you cherished the most.

After the people had disappeared through the halls you quickly took your clothes off in the changing room and then, all of a sudden, you jumped when you heard a loud knock on the door.

"Who is it?!" You said with fear.

"It's me," He says, "I'm coming in" He pushes the door open and you cover yourself up with your dress as best as you can, hiding your body, he comes in with roses and a big gift box with a baby blue bow wrapped around it, he smelled like his cigarettes. His eyes room down your body, and your scared puppy face, he drops the flowers and begins to kiss you hard, you smile to yourself when you finally taste his bitter cigarettes, "Let go of the dress bunny, tonight you're mine, say that you are...." He begs as he whispers to your mouth, you drop your dress to the floor, you wore a white see-through long corset and a thin cotton pair of matching panties and knee socks, he smiles at the look at your body, running his hands down your curves, and gently kneading your ass, "Let's go to my office"

"But I am-" He picked you up like a bride and covered you up with a rope that was hanging next to you.

"Don't worry, no one will see us" From the changing rooms to the stage he walked down some steps and swung open the door of his office, sitting you down at his desk, locking the door, "Get that rope off, let me see you put a little show for me" You stood up from his desk, and he leans over it with his legs crossed and hands behind his back on the desk. He looked just like a king wearing his all-black suit, ready to rule your world.

You stood up, letting the rope fall to your feet, and you do a little spin so he could see your everything, and he didn't miss a single spot as you turn, the little dimples in your back, the curve of your breasts and ass, you skin smooth and soft as velvet, your eyes glimmering in the darkness, the shyness within you, you put your everything on him, "Come here little one" He orders and you follow like a puppy.

"Yes?" You ask him sweetly.

"Sweetheart, I ain't gon' lie to you my love, I think you did spectacularly, and I'm proud of you for listening to me, but I know what you're missing, I know exactly what you're missing, and it's something I'm missing too..." You look at him strangely, what could he possibly miss? you lacked everything while in your eyes he was like a god.

"You're missing me, and I'm missing you, no one would understand you and your feelings better than me, no one could be able to see your potential better than me, but would you be able to bear with me?" You smile brightly as his hands turn you to gently undo the bows at the back of your corset, leaving you only in your pair of white panties and knee socks.

"Yes, I can," You said, he pushed your hair to the side over your head, a wave of your hair falling in beautiful honey-colored curls, he kissed your mouth softly, running his soft fingers against your lips like a soft feather. Cupping your face with your index and middle, mesmerized by the delicate features of your face, so pure, so weak, so innocent.

"You're gonna behave? I need you to say it" His eyes were dark and lustful.

You smiled and said, "I'm going to behave"

"You're my angel" He whispers to you, and when he leans forward you turn your face away from him, a kiss landing on your shoulder, he giggles and puts his hand on his hip, still mesmerized by your body and your figure, and you smiled, "Like what you see?"

"Enough with the silliness," He says to you, and you do as he tells you, and approach him slowly, once your face is resting in between his hands, he is still fully dressed, and you can feel how soft and warm his clothes were, you hug him and he runs his hands down your body, wrapping your legs around his torso and laying down at his desk, "Open your legs for me babe" He drawled, as he leaves a trail of kisses down your tender skin, his hands slowly massaging your breasts, you sigh as his thumb pressed down at your ribs and tummy, his lips trailed down to your belly, your fingers slowly slide into his hair, scratching it and pulling on it as he tears your panties from your pussy.

"Please..." You sigh.

"That's the prettiest cunt I've ever seen, so tiny and so fucking tight" His mouth was parched and he opens it widely to kiss your pussy, his tongue rimming in circles inside your hole, making your legs quiver and pull his hair, "So fucking good..." His tongue flicked and circled your clit in a gentle and teasing way, you were losing control over the noises that spilled out of your mouth, and then he cut you up entirely, leaving you breathless, you leaned in forward and you watched him licking your pussy lazily, and you grunt. His hands feel the soft material of your knee socks that he went crazy for.

"Please... I need more, please" You whimper as he started to suck and kiss your clit again, you let out girlish moans from your mouth, "Oh god-"

"Quiet down, won't you?" He spat on your clit making it impossible for you to keep your cool as you watch him devour your pussy with hunger and carnage, you whined and cried in silence, bitting down on your hand until your teeth sunk into your skin, your lower abdomen was tense and you felt something come out of you, and Alex sucked and swallowed down every single drop of your release as you came, but he kept going, it had become too much for you to handle but he put the flame back up, your hand gently tracing circles on his scalp while the other trailed down in between your legs, doing circles on your clit, you closed your eyes feeling in your room once more, moaning his name and feeling your skin cover in goosebumps, and he observed you, your fingers desperately rubbing your clit as your hips rock against your touch, "Fuckin' 'ell... you don't need me anymore"

"What?!" You quickly opened your eyes, his eyes glimmering as he had seen you get so carried away, "No, I'm-" He brushed away the little dust off his knees, "Wait, no I'm sorry, I just-"

"You just what?" He spat, "Care to tell me? You think you can please yourself better than I can?" You furrowed your eyebrows, "Cause I don't think you know what I can do to you, what I can show you"

"And what can you show me, Mister Turner?" You asked with a grin on your face, "You left me hanging for more, I needed to ease it somehow," You whispered, he dragged you closer to him by your legs, caging you right in between his arms.

"You have an attitude, don't you?" You raised an eyebrow.

"You said we're alike, didn't you?" He hummed as a yes biting down on his lip, "Seems like you don't even know me," You purred, he liked you, he liked that you didn't submit as easily, that you gave a fight before you did.

"I do know you, I've been inside that tiny little virgin hole of yours," He said with a smirk, you looked at him through your lashes.

"Is that so?" You whispered, and he hummed as a yes, "Not entirely"

"I see you like it the hard way, don't you?" He flipped you to be on your back, spreading your legs open as he takes out his belt, you waved your ass at him spanking it, blushing on your own because of your cheekiness, you tried to be as wild and fun as you could, "You naughty fuckin' bitch" You heard the sound of his zipper, "Just a warning..." He pulled your long hair to raise your head, and he said between greeted teeth, "I'll show you what hard is, and if you won't be able to handle it-"

"Give me all of it," You said, he threw your head back and forced himself inside you, your walls stretching painfully and you grunt and weep as you feel the burning, your pussy wasn't ready for such a fucking stretch, him and his massive cock, so thick it made your eyes water but your mouth to scream from the pleasure, he left your mouth and probably your pussy gape, his hand pressed down flat on your lower back, pounding your pussy profoundly, your nails scratching his wooden desk.

"Too much for you little one?" You gasped as he pounds you, the feeling of his cock between your legs growing a bit easier to bare with every thrust, "You took it well... you must be a little fucked up... right here" He taps harshly on your head.

"Aren't you?" He only made things harder for you, he kept pushing himself deep inside you, you were crying nonstop as your mouth was wide open but making no sound at all, just little chocked moans, you were feeling a tight knot forming in your lower abdomen, and he made you feel closer to coming undone beneath him but then, he pulled out of you like a sword into your limbs, "Wait... w-what happened?"

"You're being a cocky little fuck, now if you're gonna keep misbehaving like that, you're gettin' nothing, and I'm gonna leave you empty and wanking in your bed thinking about how good me cock feels, now... are we going to behave or are you just going to keep acting like a little fuckin' brat?" You smiled at him and laughed at his face, he pinched your cheeks together, "Do you think I'm takin' a piss or what?"

"It's just funny watching you get so angry" You kept laughing uncontrollably, his face in a big frown, jaw locked, nose trails opening wider with every exhale, his lips pushed together.

"And it's gonna be even funnier to watch you get punished since that's what you want, isn't it?" You answered with a smile, he pushed you away, slapping you so hard it knocked you to the floor, you looked at him scared, your smile had faded away, "You like learning the hard way, I'm gonna teach you a lesson, look where your mouth has gotten you little one... come up here" You flinched back when he tried to help you get up but you accepted his help since your legs couldn't work properly.

He carries you in his arms and lays you down on his leather couch, "I'm sorry, I swear I'm gonna be good now"

"You know swearing is bad, right? You must keep your promises, otherwise, I won't trust you, and believe me, you're giving me plenty of reasons to not," You looked away and bit your bottom lip, "Are you going to behave?... and I'm not gonna ask again"

"Yes" You stated, "I am"

"Atta girl" He kissed your temple, "But saying that you are doesn't mean I'm not going to punish you, you can't make fun of me, you hear me?" His voice is so demanding and scary, you look him in the eye and nod your head, he stands up and unzips his pants, enjoying the view of your body and your stare on his, you stretch and your rips pop out, and you move around in the couch, watching him take out from his boxer his swollen and wet cock, it was red and twitching, veiny and thick, you swallowed, "That's what you're going to do, and after you swallow me cock I'm gunna cum in your face and I'll think about what's gonna happen to you later, understood?"

"Understood" He pushed open your mouth as wide as possible and put his knee next to your head, "I'm making that throat wider just for me cock to fit in," He forced his cock inside your mouth, and you had a coughing fit and splashed saliva all over your face, but he kept reaching deep inside your throat until he settled in, and pushed his cock out and back in slowly, no matter how much he wanted to provoke pain on you he didn't want to hurt you after all.

"Ah!- I can't" You choked and your eyes watered as you gagged, he pulled out of you and you coughed loudly.

"Toughen up," He said and threw your head back, pushing his cock inside your mouth and fucking it, you felt the bone in your throat rail up and down as he kept fucking it, and you heard sick and obscene noises coming out from the bottom of his throat while you fought the need to let your fingers wander down to your pussy, the noises were so rich and spectacular that you kept your self in place, imagining him biting down on his lip and the taste of his soft cock on your mouth was delicious, it made you wet, never in your life would you think sucking a boy's cock would be a turn on, but this wasn't a boy, this was a man, enjoying himself thanks to you.

You kept coughing and spitting saliva but he used it to his advantage, smothering all of it on your face, destroying your makeup completely, the tip of his cock was soft and hot while the rest of his meat was warm and palpitating, his balls touching your chin, you couldn't resist it, you wanted to touch them, and when your fingers came to lightly pinch them he let out a low grunt, and you felt something was leaking out from him, he pulled out of you quickly, "Are you?-"

"Shut the fuck up" He patted your cheek signing you to open it, and this time you grabbed his balls with confidence, playing with them a little in your hands, "Oh fuck!" He moans and thrust his hips inside you just as if he was fucking your pussy again, for him you were a massive hole he could use to dump every fluid that came out of him, "Keep grabbing 'em... harder" You squeezed him a little bit more but it was right about enough for him to pull out and cover your face in his warm cum, you watch everything come squirting out of him, every warm drop that landed on your face was smothered in your face, "You love it huh? you like your reward bunny?"

"I do," You said licking the corners of your mouth.

"Turn," You laid on your chest and he got on top of you, sliding his cock in, "Got so wet from suckin' it hard" He digs your head to your cushions, suffocating you into the leather, and he continued his assault to your body, fucking it with no mercy, your walls accommodate and squish him inside, to keep him just like he was, the friction of his dick, the feeling of his veins on the walls of your hole coursing you to see blurry and your mouth to drool, you feel in heaven as you feel yourself slowly start to finish all over him, and he harshly drags his cock back denying your orgasm.

"Alex, please! I'm begging you" You weep.

"Didn't say you can cum yet..." He panted.

"You're asking too much Alex" He dragged your hips back and propped your ass up, kneading it and spanking it until your ass cheeks felt warm and tender for him to grope, and your eyes were bloodshot, the taste of salt in your mouth from your stinging tears.

"You think that's too much?!" He yells into your ear, you drown out a scream and he spanks you hard again, "Come on little girl! Thought you said to give you everything, thought you were strong enough" You cry out into the couch, "You're weak and pathetic" He saw you weeping into the leather, your eyes swollen and your whole body shaking like a little puppy, he puts you down gently, hugging your body to make you lay down on his lap.

"I hate you" You felt both used and somehow loved in a very strange and significant way, it was like people say, tough love, you hug him tighter and tighter, and he runs his fingers through your cheeks to clean your tears.

"You know I do this because I love you" You heard the honesty in his voice, he looks at you with utter tenderness and sweetness, his fingers crossed your hair to your ear, "Do you love me?"

"I love you" You whispered, no matter what he did to you, what was harder to love him was to hate him, he was the first man to ever truly kiss you with passion, and you always wore your heart on your sleeve, he understands you, he shows you how much he likes you, he desires more than just your body.

"You're ok, quiet down now" He rocks you into his arms, naked, exposed, weak, "Do you know what I'm doing to you?"

"Fucking me up" You hear him chuckle and deny it over and over with his head.

"Making you mine" You smile at him, "You're mine, me girl, no one else's, you don't belong to anyone else... just me, I need you to say it"

"I don't belong to anyone else just you" You affirm. He nudges his nose with yours, pecking your lips sweetly.

"That's good, so good..." He sighs as his little pecks turn into hungry kisses, both of your desperate for more than just teasing, he pulls you on top of him and stands up, you secure your legs around him while your arms hug his shoulders, and you can feel his slippery and warm tip in between your legs, sliding inside your hole, you moan and bite down on his shoulder as he thrusts his cock inside you, balls slamming on your pussy as he thrusts in and out of you, the sounds and the feeling were delightful, all piling up on you, it wasn't just the noises that came out of his mouth, it was him entirely that turned you on, how hard he was grasping your body, and you watched him with his eyes firmly fixed on yours with his lips parted as he feels so close from feeling so warm, and tight inside you, feeling your hole contract around his cock, it felt so good for him, so good he was crazy for more, you were in awe as you are eager to see how his cock enters your pussy, you only get wetter as you watch your bodies collide into a sweet satisfying melody.

"Fuck! I'm so- close..." You warn him as if something inside you were about to detonate, explode, you lose control over your body, your head feeling lighter and lighter as you push on your abdomen hard to squeeze out every bit of your juices and smother it all over his cock, "Does that feel good?" You pant.

"You haven't got a clue" He chokes out, "Oh... I'm gonna cum too"

"Cum inside me, please" You whine and beg, like a bratty child for on ice cream, "Fill me up, please"

"I can't" He grunts as he digs his cock deep inside you, "It's not a good idea" His eyes search for hope in yours, you kiss him deeply caressing the back of his head with your fingertips, he relaxes and you buck your hips forward, fucking yourself into his cock.

"Don't you want to?" You whisper to his lips, "Don't you want to dump your cum inside me?" He hisses as you jump on his cock again and again, he bites down on his lip until they turn pale, "Don't pretend like you don't" Your tongue licks his bottom lip and you nibble on it gently, your walls push him deeper in, getting tighter and tighter as you feel him getting more worked up, "Dump it inside me, I want it bad, please Mister Turner" He moans into your mouth, you let your tongue slip inside it, warm and tasty, he keeps it open with his thumb to spit into your mouth. You feel him get rowdy, and his skin is covered with goosebumps, drenched in a cold sweat, his balls tightly pressed up against your pussy until he was buried deep inside your hole and his cum covered up your walls in a warm coat of his cum, his pupils dilated, and you smiled as you felt it leaking out from your pussy, you hugged him tightly as he peppers your head with kisses, you feel pure bliss "Thank you" You whisper to his ear.

"You're fuckin' insane, you know that?" He gave you a smudgy kiss on your cheek.

"But you love it, don't you?" You both giggled to each other, his forehead pressed against yours, the tip of his nose brushing yours.

After cleaning up your body gently and making sure you weren't bleeding, he carried you back to the dressing rooms, he settled you down in your chair and you began to clean your face, your eyes wide open as you saw yourself in the mirror, the makeup that you spent so many hours in was completely trashed, there was eyeliner and mascara everywhere but in your lashes and eyes, your lipstick smudged all over your face and even down on your neck, your throat felt bruised and it was a bit hard to swallow, then you heard him coming inside the room with the same box he carried an hour ago and a cup of water, you snatched the mug from his hands, "Drink up babe"

"Thanks," You say to him, "What's that?" You smiled taking the gift from his hands.

"I knew you were going to do great, so I bought summat for you" Inside the box there was a tiny bunny plushy, and a little china doll dressed just like Juliet, deeper in, you take out a beautiful baby blue dress.

"It's gorgeous!" You threw yourself into his arms, hugging him tightly, and he kissed your now clean face, "Oh! I love it so much" You kick your feet into the air and he spins you around like a little girl.

"Put it on doll, so I can take you out" You smile at him brightly and as you grab your things to change in the other room, before you left he stops you, "Do it here," He sits down on the chair you were in and watched you try on the dress, it fitted you like a glove.

"Wait, where are my panties?" You ask him with genuine curiosity, "Aren't they at your office?"

"Already cleaned it up, I just found your bra" He looks down at the floor and then at you, spreading his legs as he looks at how beautiful that dress fits your little silhouette, ruffled at the top and the ends of the dress shaped like a flower, you fix your hair and your knee socks, you put on nude heels that your mom told you to wear with your other change of clothes, "You look like a doll, babe" He pats his thigh for you to sit in, and you do, wrapping your arms around him.

"Where are you takin' me?" You ask him with a silly but bright smile.

"It's simple but I think you're gonna be pleased with the place"

He helped you carry your bags out, sneaking out of the school together, and running outside to the parking lot, you grabbed your tiny purse and your big makeup bag in your hands, and you heard the alarm go off from his black and shiny Cadillac, private catholic schools seemed to pay him very well, after all, he was the very best of the teachers here, he had fame, and money, thought at your school whenever he wasn't busy doing plays in Europe, or Broadway, you wanted him to see your potential, and whenever he yelled at you, you couldn't help but love him more, he opened the door of his car for you, and buckled you in place, you smiled and felt your heart speed.

"Thank you for the dress, I love it... you shouldn't have-"

"Don't say that, you know I'll do anything for you doll" He took off from the school, you smile to yourself but quickly snap back to reality when you see the reflection of your face with no makeup, you quickly curl your eyelashes in place and flick your wrist as you brush your mascara wand to your eyelashes, praying to not stain your eyes, you feel his warm hand land on your knee, you turn to look at him, he's busy driving thru the  streets, and your feel in a dream with that brilliant man's presence, you finish your makeup as fast as you could to quickly fix the mess that was your hair, into a beautiful half up and down, letting some baby curly hairs fall on your face, you line your lips pink and pat some lipstick on your lips and gloss to make them plumper.

He glances at you and smiles brightly, "Is something the matter?"

"No, I just think you look lovely" You put your hand over his, and he turns up the volume of the radio, Lana del Rey on the station, and you smile brightly the whole road, his hand little by little sneaking up your thigh until it felt dangerously close to your inner thigh, you blush hard.

"Mister Turner..." You say to him, he snaps his eyes back at you, he digs his nails into your flesh, and your hand strokes his cock gently, he spreads his legs open and you smirk, feeling just a little control over him.

"I think I'll just have you for dinner if you keep goin'," You bite down on your lip, your hand pulled back to his knee.

"That isn't such a bad idea, is it Mister Turner?" You tease, and he sighs, smiling to himself.

"You can call me Alex babe doll, it's alright with me" His hand grabs yours to kiss your knuckles, and his thumb caresses them.

"Ok, Alex"

He made a turn and you arrived at your favorite dinner, it was almost half empty, you leaned over to kiss him deeply, "Surprise!" He giggles.

"How'd you know?" You were amazed, not many people knew about that dinner, just your close friends and you, it made you wonder how he managed to know that. And what else does he know about you? he got out of the car, fixing his coat and hair before he opened your door, unbuckling your belt and taking your hand for you to take a gentle step out of his black Cadillac.

"I've got me ways babe doll" He kissed your temple and grabbed your purse, locking the car and sitting down at a booth next to you, the purple and pink lights deem as a romantic melody the old jukebox the restaurant had rocks you, the dinner was 60's themed, and the nice old lady looked at you and Alex strange, sitting so closely together, you looked so little, and he looked too old for you, he almost looked like your dad or... more like a daddy.

"What can I get you?" The lady with a notepad and pen in her hand asks.

"What would you like angel?" He asks sweetly, putting his arm around you, his hand landing at your bum as you sit cross-legged and you lean in closer to him, your fingertips tapping on your chin.

"A classic burger and some fries... and a strawberry milkshake please... and you Daddy?" You joke, watching the lady's face go pale, and Alex's eyes get dark, a smirk on the corner of his lips.

"I'll get the same as her too, and a vanilla shake" You both kindly smile at her, and he looks at you with the brightest smile.

"Yes?" You ask sweetly and innocently, blinking repeatedly.

"I like the sound of it, daddy..." He says referring to what you said, "Keep callin' me like that princess" He kisses you on the side of your head, gripping your thigh.

"You can be my daddy, right Alex?" You both lean in to kiss each other losing track of time, and the same lady with grey hair comes back, she cleaned her throat to grab your attention and she puts down your milkshakes at the table, you smile at her kindly and receive your milkshake, Alex sunk his finger into your shake, and you grab his wrist sucking his pinky clean. The lady runs back to the kitchen.

"I love you" Your bodies close the minimal space that was between you, you watch him smile and lean in forward and close his eyes to kiss you tenderly, you get deep into the kiss, and he pulls you in to sit on his lap gently by putting his hand on your waist, you feel the butterflies come alive and you giggle when his long beard tickles your chin and your nose, "What's so funneh?" He pecks your lips.

"Your goatee tickles me" You chuckled and pecked your lips and you both turned your heads as you heard the elderly woman have a little stroke when she saw you kissing your man, she was shocked, and she just left the food on the table and left, "Hungry?" You slide the plates with the warm food and give a bite to your delicious hamburger.

The rest of the night you spend it talking about everything, his favorite films, his favorite directors and writers, his new big ideas that you were excited about, and he kept wondering about college on your side, "I think you're meant for summat great my love" He says as you gently wipe his face with a napkin.

"I don't know what to do with my life... honestly, it's ridiculous, everyone tells me to study whatever I want but then they tease the idea of med school, and I'm curious about it but that doesn't mean I like it" You ramble about what your parents tell you in your head, but talking to Alex was a relieve, he seemed to always choose his word wisely.

"Why don't you come and live with me? Leave this town, you don't need to worry 'bout anything else if you stay with me, no hurries, no pressure..." Your mouth falls open, you don't know if this is reality or if you are in a daze, "After your graduation, I'll talk to them 'bout the idea of you living with me,"

"Don't play with that" You spoke to him very seriously, and he sounded serious too, "You mean it?" You asked, almost feeling tears in your eyes.

"You're only 18, why do people think you must have the world figured out? Leave this town, come to live with me in LA, and we can find the perfect career for you my darlin' I'll put you in the best college, and I'll take good care of you..." You kiss him deeply, you love that man like nobody can.

"I love you Daddy" You peck his lips with love.

"Finish your meal little one," You hum as a yes and while you were eating and finishing off your meal, you remembered you had strict catholic parents who thought you were having dinner somewhere else with your best friends, and you were about to have your head cut off if you didn't finish your meal in... you glance to your clock, "Shit" You mutter under your breath.

"What?" You finish your meal stuffing your face.

"I 'ave to hurry up" You muffled, your mouth full with your fries, he chuckled at the sight of your cheeks full, he couldn't stop laughing and you smiled, "What? If you don't get me home now I'll get locked up for good in my room"

"You look like a bunny just like that" You roll your eyes at him, and he glances at your clock, "We still have an hour and a half left doll, what's the matter?"

"I'm being serious, if I'm not at my door at the time my mom told me, she will leave me outside in the cold, freezing my tits off"

"I'll warm them up" He gave you a sneaky kiss on your neck.

"Bastard" You tease.

Mister Turner paid the dinner and gave a generous tip to the old lady who simply looked disturbed, Alex pinches your bum on the way out and buckles you in as you sit on his leather seats, he drives fast, turning the volume to the top as the strokes play in the radio, he does a quick stop at a pharmacy near your house, you wait for him inpatient, he only took 5 minutes to come back with a little plastic bag on his hand.

"Got you some pills, and these" He gifted you, your first box of condoms, and you blushed hard.

"W-Wait, I can have these at my house, it's too dangerous" You would get exiled if your mom were to find them.

"It's ok, don't worry, I just don't wanna take risks" He explained the use of the plan B pills, you promised to take it, and he drove back to your house.

You stared at it from the window, the lights of the living room were on, which could only mean that your mother was waiting for you on the couch, you sighed and stared at him with puppy eyes, "I don't wanna go in"

"We still have 30 minutes to spare" His eyebrows wiggle making you giggle, "I could go for some dessert"

"Mmm, I don't think it's a good idea, we won't make it back on time" He puts his hand on your inner thigh, you look at his hand massaging your thigh and then back at him.

"I'm not talking about that type of dessert" You sigh as his lips kiss your mouth slowly, putting you in a trance, his mouth tastes like sweet vanilla with a pinch of saltiness, and his tongue slips in as he tastes sweet strawberries and whipping cream, your heartbeat goes thru the roof as his hand sneaks in between your legs, you had forgotten you weren't using any underwear, "All ready for me"

"Mmm... fuck me Daddy" You moan into his mouth, pushing yourself back and crawling to the back of his car, you push your dress up, and spread your legs open, he had the nicest view of your pussy, dripping and glimmering.

"Gunna make it a quickie then" He jumps to the back, and you lay flat on your chest, pushing your hips up, arching your back, chest on the seats, "Eager, aren't you?" You hear him getting ready for you, spitting on your pussy hole and spreading his spit and your wetness all over your pussy. You moan loudly as his tip enters you, sliding in, and hitting the right spot at the first thrust of his hips, "Shut the fuck up, you're gonna wake up the whole neighborhood" He takes out from his pocket your pair of lost panties.

"You had them this whole time?!" You were amazed, you didn't think he would keep them, "You're a perv" You joke.

"But you love what this perv does to your pussy," He licked your earlobe, pushing your panties inside your mouth, "I was gonna get a good taste of that, rub it all over me cock, have it as my little souvenir" You rolled your eyes as he locks your arms behind your back, grinding his hips, railing your pussy, slapping his meat against your ass, he heard you say something he couldn't quite figure out, he took out the panties from your mouth, "What did you say?" 

"Do you do that to other girls?" He stops,'fuck'  You scream into your head, you were getting so close,  you regret ever saying something but you also wanted to know. 

"You just have something, little one, something that just makes me want to keep you, want to have you in me pocket," Sounds like he's obsessing over you, he gets more aroused, and you feel him getting harder inside you, "I wanna have you at all times in my bed since you're always crawling around me head, and cumming inside you... fuckin' hell, making that tight little cunt all mine, hell... I would hold you hostage if I had to"

"Then make it yours again, Daddy," He bucked his hips back pushing your panties back inside your mouth, rimming his cock on your pussy, those noises coming from his mouth were terrific, just enough to make you see stars, his veiny hands turning into fists as he slides back inside, his strong arms contracting, you close your eyes, feeling his cock twitching and loading up your cunt with his cum, and he finished you up, making you cum desperately all over him, he crashes on top of your body, and you sigh feeling only his weight, his heart beating just as fast as yours, his lips brushing against your ear, "That was fast" You muffled.

"I committed to it" You both giggle, and he pulled out of your pussy, watching his cum drip out of your tight hole, he's in awe, at how that little hole could be filled up with that much, he was fascinated, "For fucks sake..." He was getting worked up again, but he couldn't keep you for longer.

He quickly grabs a tissue and helps you clean up his mess again, taking out your panties from your mouth, and gently tossing them in his chair to keep them, his hands brush your hair back and tighten up your hairdo, you smile at him getting out of the back of his car helping you out, the cold air hits your face, and so does the cold reality, you sneaked your bags to your front door, running up the steps leaving your bags there so it could be easier for you to throw yourself into his arms for a last goodbye, he picks you up from the ground with no effort, his arm around your waist and his hand gripping your bum, making you both laugh, and you kiss him, hard, breaking away from the kiss with such sadness, "I'll miss you"

"Better start packing your bags babydoll," You already pictured your life with him, and before you left you made sure to exchange numbers, laughing at him because he didn't know how to do it, he made sure twice to have your number before you left, at exactly the time your mom asked you to be home you opened the door of your house.

"Hi," You said breathlessly.

"Hello," She says looking at you strangely, "Why is your face all red? And who gave you that dress?! I told you to not-" You took a step back the moment she tried to pull on the ends of your dress, you felt your heart about to spill out of your mouth.

"No, no, Mom, I swear I bought it with my friends before we went to dinner" You smiled, "One of them wanted to get something from the mall so we all went, and I just liked the dress" She scans your face, clearly you were feeling tense since you couldn't just walk away from her but eventually she let you go, still not trusting the words that came out of your mouth but when does she ever, you were glad Mister Turner was kind enough to keep the box while you hid his presents in your bags, Jesus, you didn't know what would your mother do to you if she were to find out what was beneath your dress.

That night you got a few sweet messages from Alex, you couldn't get him out of your head, what would your life be like with him, you felt a warm feeling in your stomach, a tight knot you always felt in your tummy, was now gone, and he makes you the happiest girl, and you would make sure to keep him the happiest man.

A/N

Sorry for not updating in a bit, had a rough couple of days, but happy New Year's everyone, I have a lot in store for you and me this year, hope you enjoy this wrap with one of the most claimed shots of all, Mister Turner has came back, lots of love from your girl. I hope all of your wishes and manifestations come true this year!

And to answer your question I get all of the pictures from pinterest and tumblr, here is my pinterest in case you wanna check it out!

x

[kim-ruzek]

It was a great season premiere, right? First Adam was staring down the barrell of a gun, and that was A Scene. I held my breath through it all. Then her and his new partner talked about how she watched her partner die, and then... that ending! I kind of knew she was a goner, considering how much spoilers were about that other actress joining the team and nothing about her. But still, the way it happended, and the look on Adam's face? Brilliant. (btw, I'm still bitter his near-death experience only had a one-episode consequences last season, but it was a weird season, so I can forgive it, if they dig into it now ;)

OH it really, really was !!

When we got Adam staring down the barrel of a gun, I was like damn this season is starting off HOT and I thought that would be the peak of the amazingness of the episode. But no... we had THAT ending as well which was just...so fucking good for an ending.

I too knew something would be up with her, depending we had heard nothing about her, but damn, I did not think death (my brain also did forget reading the press release for ep2, otherwise it probably would've lmao) but even if I did, it DEFINITELY did not think like that.

That was cold, shocking to the system in such a very real fashion and oh so devastating for our poor boy Adam.

I really loved how they managed to settle her in within the episode, establish enough backstory and connection (especially to Adam) AND weave in the foreshadowing with the near miss and the talk of her old partner enough to actually make the death hard hitting even though we, the audience, only just met her but without overdoing it and making the episode really clunky, especially as the connection establishment was the b plot to the voight a plot.

And YES I am also still salty his shooting only got briefly touched upon last season but I'm thinking we're going to get something like we got for Kim -- a season later and the long term consequences are showing up, and I'll be really interested in seeing how the situation affects Adam differently.

And I love how the premiere already touched upon the affect of seeing your partner shot, through Adam's facing the gun (which the way he squared up to it even though now he KNOWS what it's like to feel your life fading?? Oof) and him checking on Emily after and now we get to see that becoming Adam's reality, with an extra helping of guilt because he got her into intelligence.

I am a little sad we don't get any Kim during episode 2 to see her being there to be an emotional rock for Adam, even if it's in the background (likewise that we didn't get to get a quick few seconds scene of Kim checking if Adam was a-ok himself after facing the gun this episode) but I think it's pretty clear this will be, or will lead into, Adam's storyline angst this season so hopefully while we won't get her this episode, we will get her later.

(Plus we've seen in the past with Adam that when things like this happen, in the immediate aftermath he likes to throw himself all in and just rage and dwell in his guilt and feelings so I kinda like we'll get to just focus on him this episode feeling all that to really explore how it feels to have your partner shot in the head right next to you).

But I do hope we at least get a mention of Kim (like Kim being that emotional rock for him despite being apart; which she still is because she knows the first hours are just going to be so hectic for Adam and he can't rest until at least initial justice is served for Emily and he'd want her to finish off because she can do all she can from there (except physical intimacy but yes it's different but he DOES still have Kev, and Trudy (and Mack) so he's not going to be deprived of a hug if he so needs it and he's going to be around people he has and can cry around if needed) and her coming home early may just add an unnecessary burden of guilt onto him some more - because we know our boy can really feel that guilt when he gets rolling.

And it's almost more powerful seeing how deep and secure and just loving their relationship is now that they can be there for each other without being in physical proximity. That Kim trusts him to not completely spiral, that they have a support system, that Adam KNOWS he'll get love and affection from Kim just the same even if it's days after the initial trauma so it's not a take this now or not get it at all situation.

I mean, that is, if they have Kim stay at the conference. They could just end up making her get stuck on her way home which is fine I guess.

ANYWAY sorry this took literally a whole week to get around to, I wrote up most of this last week but life really has gotten ahold of me and I didn't have the energy to complete it and I really wanted to make this a detailed answer to you, not just an 'i agree'. Better late than never?

Thank you for asking!!! 💞💞💞

[quitealotofsodapop]

(Hope you're feeling better! Sending positive vibes to you!)

I've been thinking about Sandy...

We all love the big blue river man, but...I feel like he shouldn't already be the loveable giant we know and love when Shadowpeach get to Pigsy's just after the 'conception'.

Dunno, I think it would be, like, a disservice? Is that the word I want, something like that, to Sandy and his path of becoming a better person, right?

Like, Pigsy didn't know about the change when AHIB was going on, so it had to happen after they last saw each other.

Maybe it just happened sooner in TMKATI, but what if!

What if, Sandy comes to the noodle shop and wants to talk, and maybe the subject of the 'young couple with a baby on the way' comes up and he gets the tea on the situation from what Freenoodles understand - both from observation and the vague description, giving them the vibe of 'hiding from bad people (that might be family)' (or something).

As he learned, he meets the 'youngsters' and gets to know them.

But maybe one day, he was already at an 89 and something pushes him to a 90 and hello, temper.

But before something bad can happen, Sandy looks and sees 'Wu' standing in front of 'Mihou' in a defensive stance, eyes vary.

Maybe that's the moment? That he realizes he needs to - and importantly wants to - be better. To be a support system for these two 'kids' that do need help.

Also, interesting thought: somebody said that it looked like Macaque and Sandy are opposites, that Macaque started out as a more quiet voice of reason and is now, well, very much not. While Sandy started out violent and became a peaceful voice of reason.

That is interesting and I do love me some moon/ocean symbolism, so a friendship would be cool.

They could also be yoga buddies (because yoga does help with flexibility during a pregnancy, if I believe the internet), so common activity!

Y'know?

OOOoof. Yes.

Sandy at the start of the TMKATI au is not exactly the soft himbo we know and love from the main series just yet.

Pigsy and him had a falling out some time ago, but Pigsy decides to call Sandy up for "protection" after Macaque gets freaked out by a Bad Encounter during New Years. Said encounter was a certain bone-demon thrall delivering a threat, but to those on the outside looked like some kind of trouble, legal or otherwise. Best to have your strongest guy around if something pops off, you know?

So now Sandy is in the loop with the noodle shop gang about "the kids with a kid on the way". They all assume that Shadowpeach are in a situation of hiding from Underworld authorities, angry family members, or something more sinister. Sandy is like "Hell yeah brother. I'll punch a few demons if they come near the shop!"

Which would be fine except; 1: Wukong 100% recognises Sandy from somewhere. 2: Sandy is trying his best to ignore any recognition from his past. 3: Macaque also recognises Sandy + likes to rile him up.

Which nearly leads to a fishman vs monkey fight one night. A punch is thrown, a far-too-familar human catches his fist.

Sandy leaves the restaurant in a hurry, apologizing tearfully under his breath. He returns some days later, admits that he wants to work on his temper and that he needs external help for his emotional issues.

He asks if any of the gang are willing to forgive him; they all do, though Macaque takes some extra time to reconsider. Mac does eventually come around when he witnesses Sandy managing to calm himself down mid-conversation. A friendship blooms from there.

I love the thought of Sandy convincing Mac to be his yoga buddy once the monkey starts complaining about aches and pains later on in the Egg's development. Its all very awkward at first, but it ends up becoming their weekly "thing" they do together. Both (including Wukong sometimes) are new to modern mental wellness stuff, and it's a lot easier to get into healthier habits with a buddy at your side. Mac probably accidentally calls Sandy his older brother a few times.

Even when Macaque briefly abandons the noodle shop to hide/flee from a certain threat/his and Wukong's relationship issues, Sandy is the only one Mac trusts with his location. Sandy similarly is a tough nut to crack when Wukong is zipping around for answers ("He seemed really hurt. I ain't telling you until you both have cooled off.").

Needless to say, Sandy is the least-shocked to learn that Wukong is willing to do something Very Stupid to get back into his dear Mihou's good books.

Macaque, answers phone at PIF's place: "Hey." Sandy: "Wu's going into the Underworld." Macaque, delayed reaction: "Oh good... WHAT?!" Sandy: "Yeah, he told me to tell you; He's sorry, and that he's gonna make it up to you in the ways he only knows how. Whatever that means." Macaque, stunned: "...Did he say exactly what he was going to do?" Sandy: "He told me to not tell you or else you'd try and stop him." Macaque, getting worked-up: "Damn straight I will!" Sandy: "Hey, hey, remember what we've been practising in breathwork. Pause and forget the situation for a moment, and just breath in deep. Deep breaths." Macaque, a little calmer: "...Ok, I'm feeling a little better. But I'm still really concerned what the hell Wu is planning on doing. If you know where he is, make sure he doesn't try doing anything stupid." Sandy: "Will do! Tell your sister I said hi!" Macaque: "Thanks Sandy." (*call ends*) Sandy, turns to Pigsy and Tang: "Yeah he's ok. Best we follow Wu and make sure he isn't serious about that Bone Demon stuff." Pigsy: "I swear on Guanyin, those monkeys are going to make me age ten years by the end of this."

Sandy earns his title of "Best Uncle" in the au for a reason.

[girldragongizzard]

Epilogue 1: The dog days of Winter

We've taken to using my rooftop for the experiments.

Or, rather, we continue to do so. We never stopped.

The building management has completely given up. It's become clear that I'm a permanent non-rent-paying resident of the property and that I will go where I please, and that any authorities that are called will not do a damn thing about it. But, also, since around the time that Säure mysteriously disappeared one Saturday afternoon, after his last horrific rampage back in October, things have been going remarkably well for the whole block. The city and county at large, really, but particularly well for the Magnolia apartments and all the businesses that shared the first floor.

Because of that, it's possible that some see me as good luck, though I know I'm really just another feature of that luck.

A lot of the horrific shit going on in the rest of the world seems to be taking kind of a break, but I don't know if that's related at all. Still, it does give us some emotional room to enjoy the smaller things. In any case, a lot of people are writing about the global effects of dracomorphosis, and you can read their blogs and articles, so I'm going to remain focused on my local experiences. They're what I can write about best.

So.

The experiments.

On the rooftop with me today, on a cold Saturday in January, is Chapman, Kimberly, and a new person.

And Kimberly is so goofy with nervousness. She does know how to dress warm in her style, with fuzzy black mittens, a thick black scarf and knit wool toque, fat furry black boots, long johns, quilted jacket, and a poodle skirt. This should be good enough for 55 degrees, really. It's not that cold. But she's shivering, and I know it's a mammalian response to excitement, akin to shock. And she occasionally jumps up and down, and claps her mittens together. Then, while most of the time she's very quiet and serious looking, she gets a wild grin on her face and it looks like she just wants to run wildly around the rooftop.

Any time someone asks her a question, it takes her a second to respond, and it's either too subdued and quiet to understand, or she just responds with a loud, "Yeah?"

So, for anybody who's familiar with the conversations she's been having with Chapman, it should be pretty obvious what's going on.

And I'm just watching.

I can't not be here for this.

I've gotta be here for Kimberly.

And I've gotta spend time with Chapman when I'm not spending time with Rhoda.

But it's the new person I'm paying particular attention to right now.

She's kind of a tall, skinny woman, with short, spiky blond hair, dressed in jeans and a sweatshirt with broad horizontal stripes under a lab coat. And the way that she's standing next to this huge cardboard box from a refrigerator delivery and talking to Chapman about the particulars of how to render hir circuitry, I feel like I'm being deliberately reminded of a huge chunk of my childhood.

She looks to be in her twenties, close to Kimberly's age, but I know she's much older than that.

I guess when you're the Artist of Transformation, you can appear however you like whenever you'd like.

She's going by the name Jones, though, which breaks the visual illusion a bit, if you were following me in the first place. (It's OK if you weren't, I'll explain it to you in the comments if you need me to.)

So, here she's pointing at the box and saying that Chapman needs to put the circuitry on the inside because otherwise it will break the aesthetics of "the transmogrifier". And Chapman is holding hir chin with one hand, hir elbow with the other, and sighing and nodding. While Kim grins really big and beams at me with what looks like utter embarrassment.

"That is going to be harder," Chapman says. "I can do it, but it will take longer. The more surface area I can utilize, the faster it will be to draw the channels needed, believe it or not."

"I know," Jones says. "But my work is almost all about appearances, you know. And that's sort of important on my end. It's a compromise."

"Really."

"Yes," she nods definitively. "Before we can transform Kimberly into her true self, we're going to have to transform this box into its true self, which is a transmogrifier. And that requires things like this." She pulls out a plastic game spinner from her coat pocket and a brad from her other pocket. "And we're going to need to draw up a dial on the side of it. Also, a visual representation of some rivets and vents and other controls and dials would be really cool, but less necessary."

Chapman rolls hir eyes.

"Don't give me that."

"I want to trust her on this," Kimberly says. "Can we do it her way? Please?"

"Yes," Chapman says. "It's just… Yes, OK. No, this is way cooler, obviously. Let's do it."

Jones claps her hands and beams at everyone. "Perfect! So, we've got two Sharpies, right? I'll work on the outside while you do the inside. Common, let's tip it over. We'll rotate it as we go."

Chapman's sigh sounds like it could give me lift.

"Is this what you usually do for transformation?" Kimberly asks.

Jones shoots her a deadly serious look and says in a flat voice, "No. This is specifically for you."

"Oh." Kimberly looks like she instantly regrets being there at all.

"Relax," Jones says, loosening back up. "I know exactly what I'm doing, and I love it."

Kimberly's hesitant grin looks more like a grimace, but Jones doesn't notice because she's now entirely focused on working with Chapman.

"We are absolutely going to be doing this differently for the larger populace," Chapman says as sie pushes the box over, and then reaches down to adjust what is now the bottom flap so that sie can work on it.

"I was thinking, like, pills, or something," Jones says.

"I definitely cannot do shit with pills," Chapman grumbles as sie gets into the box.

"Well, that's a you problem," Jones quips cheerfully.

Getting Jones to come here was a trick.

Getting her attention was easy, once we'd located her and devised a way to deliver to her the pendant Chapman had made. And all that work had been done with some massive scanning circuits drawn in chalk on my rooftop, and many, many nights of Chapman frowning and cussing about it. Which was then followed by the use of an artistry fueled homing rocket, which sounds as utterly ridiculous as what we're doing today. But when Chapman explained that using hir Art to channel kinetic energy was really the simplest thing sie could do, I guess it made sense.

The rocket just had to be designed to survive the trip, and to not hurt anyone upon "landing".

In the end, it turned out to be a simple hobbyist's rocket with a payload bay that was then covered in Chapman's signature decorations. But the rocket part was converted into a cardboard jet engine of sorts with the strategic application of physical intakes on the sides of the fuselage. And that was part of the steering mechanism as well, apparently. And before I could protest that it looked unworthy of the task, it had been launched with the pendant aboard, and gone.

"It's the next phase that I hate," Chapman said, heading back to the roof hatch. "Now we've got to talk to each other."

Two days later, sie received an email from Jones, upon which sie informed me by texting me, "It begins."

Over the course of the following month, I didn't see much of Chapman. And when I did, sie insisted on talking about other things. But sie eventually explained, apparently when things were starting to go well, that Jones needed to be argued into visiting and working with hir. And, not persuaded by good arguments, but enticed simply by being argued with. At a certain point of investment, she would lose patience with the email and need to do the arguing in person.

And then, theoretically, once she was here, they could settle the arguments and get to business.

And then I'd asked Chapman, "Why?"

Chapman had then looked directly at me with exhausted eyes and simply waited until I apologized.

Now, as I'm watching the two of them, it really looks like Chapman is doing the bulk of the work. There's a constant shifting come from hir while sie is in the box. While the grating static that comes from Jones only happens when she puts her pen to the box, and she does that for about a second or two every few minutes. The rest of the time, she just stands staring at the box and frowning, taking various poses of exaggerated concentration.

After a while, I can't contain myself and I key up a question I soon regret, "Are you putting on an act?"

Scowling at the box, Jones says, "Do you know what a magic trick is, Meghan?"

"Yes," I say.

"It's theater," she says anyway. "I'm not the Artist of Metamorphosis, thank everything. But that means I don't work biologically. I'm the Artist of Transformation. That's magic, and that's theater. Everything I do is theater." She gestures sideways at Kimberly, "And our volunteer, here, needs a good show. Otherwise, why participate in it?"

"Oh."

"Now, the reason we're getting away with using a simple cardboard box is three fold," she says, stepping forward and adding a circle to represent a rivet near one of the corners of the box. Just so. "For one, Chapman's Art is absurd. Have you seen what sie can do? It defies all logic."

"No it doesn't," Chapman protests.

"Please don't interrupt," Jones retorts. "Anyway, sie can do things like slap some kind of esoteric squigglies on a piece of paper and cause an explosion with it, and that's in hir sleep. So, the substrate that sie uses is nearly irrelevant."

"Also very not true," Chapman says.

"Shush."

"You shush."

"Secondly, we're combining Arts, which is totally a big no-no for anything nuanced or careful, which, thankfully, we're not doing in any way," Jones explains.

"Oh, Hailing Fucking Scales," Chapman shouts. "OK, turn."

"Not yet!" Jones yells back. Then she jabs at the top of the box with her Sharpie to place another rivet, and then says more quietly, "OK, now."

Chapman starts getting out of the box to carefully turn it over while Jones steps forward to try to forcefully roll it while Chapman is in it, and it just hits me I am actually, yes, watching siblings interact with each other.

They are acting entirely like little children, too.

"Stop, stop, stop, stop," Chapman is saying, while Jones continues her explanation.

"Thirdly," Jones says. "My magic only works while no one is looking, so we've got to put Kimberly in some sort of box. We can't see her transform, after all. That would be too weird for it to happen. And we're doing this on the cheap, because we're cheap."

"Oh," I say again.

"So, yeah, it's an act," she kicks the box, and Chapman pops out of it and throws hir Sharpie at Jones.

Kimberly has been sidling over to me while this has been going on, and now she's right by my side.

She leans over and murmurs fairly quietly, "Maybe we shouldn't be annoying the immortals with questions."

"No, it's fine," Jones turns to her and says.

And Chapman waves hir hand dismissively, saying, "Yeah, no, you're good. Keep it up."

And then they go back to the business of constructing the transformation device. And the afternoon proceeds pretty much like that until it's done.

In the process, I learn pretty definitively that while I can sense the use of Art, I don't sense every use of it. Though, it doesn't have to be aimed at me to trigger the sensations. And I'd already worked out that the amount of energy being harnessed or altered will affect the range of my sense, a lot like being able to hear sound. But, it is some other specific quality of the act of an Art that causes the notable vibration, or whatever it is that I'm picking up. I don't know what it is, but I do get Jones to tell me when she's using her Art and when she's not. And it turns out she's been using it constantly since before she arrived. Chapman confirms something similar about hirself.

Also, because each Art is so different, it's probably going to take a while to learn just what it is that I'm sensing. But Chapman is all about helping me figure it out, when we're done with this.

So, with that, it starts to sink in that the whole act of arguing and bickering with each other, and the occasional roughhousing, is an indelible part of combining their Arts. And I end up thinking about Ptarmigan and how she talked about working with nightmares and what was a nightmare and what wasn't. And how she'd sometimes engage with them through her scribbling, and sometimes she wouldn't. I think, sometimes, it seemed like the strongest use of her Art was when she was talking to someone, and I never sensed anything then.

I remember that a while ago Rhoda said that the Artists were to us as humans were to ants. That when they talked to us, it was like when scientists were communicating with ants by laying down pheromone trails. To one party or the other, it might seem like something that makes sense is being communicated, but really neither the scientist nor the ant has any way of knowing what the other is thinking or intending.

And I also remember when Ptarmigan tried telling me that the world was a plural system, like a person with DID or OSDD, that we were all its system members, and that Rhoda was its frontrunner in a nightmare.

So, that's got me thinking, what if the universe is like that, too? What if reality itself is just one big colonial entity. And what these two Artists are doing right now is trying to act as translators between Kimberly and the rest of the universe, in order to negotiate some sort of agreement?

Which.

It's.

I'm probably completely wrong. But I kind of like that thought at the moment. It helps me make sense of what I'm seeing. It helps me be OK with how this act between the both of them sort of feels like when a Kindergarten teacher talks to an adult as if the adult is one of their students.

And then, when the two of them are done, they both physically relax and smile at each other. I think they've completely dropped the adversarial posturing.

"OK," Jones says. "All we do now is lower this thing over Kimberly here, with your consent, of course. And then I rotate the spinner from human to werepoodle, as you see written on the box. And we give it a second, then we remove the box."

"Yep," Chapman says.

"What?" Kimberly asks in obvious disbelief, a hint of nervous laughter in her voice.

"We just did all the seriously hard work," Chapman says. "The rest is just activating the device, and we made it that simple. It's really like when Meghan puts the pendant on. Five years went into that piece, too, you know."

Kimberly half points at the box and protests, "But five years didn't go into this cardboard box, though. Right?"

"No."

"It was synergy," Jones says. "And also, when Chapman made that pendant, sie was working way outside hir wheelhouse. This time you've got me involved."

Kimberly looks at me and asks, "What does it feel like?"

"Nothing much," I knuckle into my tablet. Then I sigh and take my princess form to deploy my thumbs, "I didn't notice the change until I started doing things. Moving made it feel wrong right away, but that's because I'm not Chapman."

"I based the human form on my pre-transition self," Chapman explains. "She felt physical dysphoria over it."

"You had to transition?" Kimberly asks.

Chapman waves fingers to the side. "That's off topic, but yes. I'm just always most comfortable as a post transition trans masc enby, if I'm human. Which requires going through the process every life. It's a thing."

"I have a similar problem that's harder to describe," Jones says. "Every Artist has these quirks. Even when we're other animals, or storms, or computers, or whatever, we're queer in some way. I mean, by human standards. I prefer the word atypical. It's more accurate and broad enough. But queer people are cool, so queer works, too."

"Yeah. I like queer a lot," Chapman says.

"OK. Fuckin' cool," Kimberly says. Then she slaps her thighs. "I guess I'm ready for this? I'm kind of scared, actually. It's a big, weird step."

"Oh, if you don't like it, we can turn you right back," Jones says. "That's super easy. We just put the box over you again, and turn the dial the other way. Boom. Done."

"Oh," Kimberly says. "It's still scary."

"Like transition?" Chapman asks.

"Yeah? Kinda? But this is magic. Or Art. It's weirder."

"We did this entirely to your specs, your request," Chapman says. "In theory, based on my scans to back you up, you'll just feel even better. It'll be like taking HRT. You know, when you took those pills and nothing obvious happened, but you felt better right away? Like that. But even more reversible."

"OK! Let's do it! Let's get it done before I jump off the roof to avoid it!"

Jones holds up a hand. "Don't do that.

"I won't," Kimberly says. "I want this too much. But I'm getting that intrusive thought from all the adrenaline."

"OK. Come stand right here, in the middle of the roof, then, please."

"Got it."

And then, once Kimberly is situated, Chapman and Jones both pick up the box and lower it over her.

"You doing OK in there?" Chapman asks.

"Yep!" Kimberly says. "I think so!"

"Okidoke," Jones says, and then reaches out and twists the dial to aim it at the word "werepoodle". And then she says, "One Mississippi."

"Huh," Kimberly's muffled voice comes from the box.

"Picking up the box," Chapman tells her, and then sie and Jones remove the box.

Nothing about Kimberly appears to have changed. I didn't even feel any kind of shift when the dial was turned. Though that's similar to what happens when I use the pendant. Or, what doesn't happen.

Kimberly looks confused and disappointed, holding her mitten clad hands up and turning them over. She's obviously clenching and unclenching her fingers within the mittens.

"You did say 'werepoodle'," Chapman says.

"Right," Kimberly responds.

"It's not a full moon."

"Oh, right!"

[triviareads]

Tastes Like shakkar sounds so good! What are your top 5 books with brown or desi characters?

I enjoyed Tastes Like Shakkar a lot more than I was expecting, and have relentlessly been shilling it ever since. It's such a solid romance, the sex was good, a lot of the desi family stuff (the concept of being a "family manager") really hit, but it never took away from the main romance. Also, it's always nice to feel "seen" in the books you read even though it's pretty rare for me, but since this was specifically about Indian-Americans in the NY-NJ area, I really felt that.

Here are books with desi rep apart from Tastes Like Shakkar that are in my top 5:

Wrong to Need You by Alisha Rai: I debated putting my other fave by Alisha, Serving Pleasure, on here but Wrong to Need You portrayed a less-troubled desi family dynamic than Serving Pleasure so I'm picking this. Sadia is a widowed single mom grappling with her attraction to her brother-in-law, Jackson who's just returned after a self-imposed exile related to a mysterious fire. The restrained tension between these two is so hot (ok maybe not entirely restrained; she doesn't recognize him when he first returns and nearly has sex with him lol). Also, Sadia, like Jiya below, subverts the passive Asian woman trope on multiple levels, and based on the dynamic between her and Jackson.

I also liked how Sadia's large, close-knit Pakistani-American family was portrayed; they may not see eye-to-eye all the time, but they love one another and are willing to learn and compromise.

Take a Hint, Dani Brown by Talia Hibbert: Zafir Ansari is truly a prince among men; him and Dani go viral for his rescue of her, and they start fake dating so his football charity can get some positive attention and donations. I like how Zafir was the romantic one among the two of them (and is a Bollywood romance fan, predictably), and is also great in the sack so... a winner, basically.

Also, Talia wrote this lovely exploration of grief (Zafir lost his dad and brother) and this really sweet relationship between Zafir and his SIL, and his family as a whole which I appreciated.

Sink or Swim by Tessa Bailey: I know Tessa has gotten a lot of flak for her portrayal of Latinx characters (which, deserved imo), and she's otherwise by and large stuck to writing white characters, but I can't deny she did pretty damn good job of writing Jiya and her family, who are desi, in this book. Here are my full thoughts on this.

The Roommate Risk by Talia Hibbert: Friends to lovers AND probably one of the only unrequited love books I'll ever recommend only because I love Jasmine so much (even while she's STRUGGLING to figure out that yes, Rahul has had feelings for her ever since she deflowered him on the... I wanna say library floor), and Rahul Khan is adorable and a stern, stern man who can absolutely get it. Similar to Zafir above, Rahul's dad also dies during the book (there's a lot of flashbacks) and Talia portrayed Muslim funeral customs and just the general family dynamics thoughtfully and in such an emotional way.

Hard Way by Katie Porter: lol my problematic fave because there are a few things that are just so weird in terms of rep: For one, the author keeps putting Sunita, the heroine, in "indian inspired" clothes, for example, some kind vaguely described professional suit inspired by a saree? Like, this woman is an attorney who works for a United States congressman. She's probably wearing a regular-ass suit like the rest of the people in that office. Also, her nickname in law school was the "Ice Queen of Bangalore" which was meant to be microaggressive, but the nickname literally makes 0 sense to me since she was raised in AMERICA, and considering half the Indians I know can't make the connection between being Kannadiga and possibly being from Bangalore, the capital of Karnataka, what are the chances these white mfs can, right? And the weird thing is, she narratively sort of "reclaims" her nickname, but it was such a cringe one to begin with and I don't even know why the authors bothered to put it in in the first place.

BUT Sunita is the only Kannadiga heroine I've ever read (I am. kannadiga, to clarify), she's a martial artist, she's struggling to work out her marriage with her husband (I'm a sucker for that shit), she's good with being kidnapped and zip-tied straight from the grocery store by her husband because it's a mutual fantasy, and she attends yakshagana performances (also very personal to me and my family)! Do you know how rare it is to see any of these things as far as brown heroines go? Maybe I have a lower bar for South Asian rep because there are so few romances that have South Asians who don't hate themselves/the culture AND have good sex scenes, but hopefully that will change as time goes on.

[all-lars-bars]

Notes for Submas in Rapture so I can empty my brain

Ingo and Emmet with their passion for trains went down to Rapture with their employer Prentice Mill. They both helped blueprint, engineer, and manage the Atlantic Express trains and railways.

When the Express was sold off, the twins went with it, and despite their attempts at contacting their now former employer to convince him otherwise, they never hear from Mill again.

Around the same time Johnny Topside was hoppin around Rapture, the twins, namely Ingo are put under some scrutiny and allegations, I don't really know what but something bad enough that Ingo got sent to Persephone. Because someone's gotta suffer, right.

Anyway, in his brother's absence, Emmet does his damndest to keep the Atlantic Express running in spite of all the splicers and the literal Civil War going on. But eventually he's chased away

Maybe he joins Atlas's revolution bc hey, what does he have to lose at this point, but eh, it doesn't sit right with me. Then again, that could be how Emmet feels about it too. It just generally doesn't settle well with him, but if there's a way to stick it to Andrew Ryam he'll take it.

Back to Ingo, I imagine he meets a similar fate to Topside, Plasmid Test Dummy turned Alpha Series and bonded to a single Little Sister

And that Little Sister is Akari in my mind. I've said it before and I'll say it again: I am a sucker for Pokemon Legends Arceus. And also a sucker for Uncle/Papa Ingo dynamics

I have this scene in my mind where Ingo and Akari are out harvesting ADAM when Emmet sees them and watches them for a bit before realizing this Big Daddy has his brother's mannerisms. It even sounds like a train instead of a whale like the rest (which is also 'cause Ingo's too loud for the BD voicebox so he fucked that up).

Anyways, Emmet immediately makes an assumption and tries to go to Ingo. However, he's still a Big Daddy, one bonded to this little girl.

In my mind, Akari is a special case as a Little Sis, as she's full of curiousity which in the ADAM tainted state of mind means she doesn't see a threat until it hits her and Ingo doesn't hurt anything unless Akari tells him to. Neither of them like it when people get too close though, even if they don't see it as a threat

That is to say Emmet gets pretty damn close before he's pulled away by some of his braver allies. All the while begging for his brother.

Neither Akari or Ingo really hear him, not in their states of mind. But they can see his emotion.

"Who was that, Papa?" Ingo lets out a low whistle. "He looked lonely." Another, higher whistle in agreement. "Maybe the next time we see him, we should say hi! I think he'd like that!" He sighs so softly.

I'd like that too

Back to the storyline, I like to think that Ingo and Akari find Jack after he fell through the vents in an escape from Fontaine, helping Tenenbaum and the other little girls bring him to the Sanctuary

Ingo, seeing all the little girls just being little girls has a moment of clarity, some light through the fog of his mind.

He doesn't want Akari to spend the rest of her life in Rapture.

So he leaves her with Tenenbaum and leaves, both the cure and separation causing him to go into a coma.

The last thing he gives Akari is a hat they had found on their travels that she had him try on. It's a bit big on her head, but she'll grow into it.

Then his little girl is cured and rescued.

Until more little girls go missing around the world and Tenenbaum goes back down to rapture.

Over the eight years of surface life, Akari has been raised by her Uncle Jack and Aunt Brigid, always remembering her dear Papa. She shows interest in the scientific field, so when she's old enough she begins working as an apprentice under her Aunt, learning everything the good doctor does and doesn't teach her

Thanks to her "pursuit of science" mindset she can handle large amounts of grotesque scenery and gore. She has even thought about specializing in Forensic Sciences when she gets the chance

Back to the return, although Tenenbaum insists Akari stays behind, the young girl manages to sneak onto the submersible and didn't get caught until they both had to flee from Splicers

After some reprimanding, Akari stayed with Tenenbaum and their rescued little sisters until Eleanor and Delta come along

Watching her Aunt bring an Alpha Series back to life, it gave the girl hope for her dad

So through more mischief and stubborness, she ends up tagging along with Delta and Sinclair (she calls him Gus, much to his disdain) to head to Persephone. Or in her case, simply to Fontaine Futuristics. If there's anywhere a comatose Alpha Series could be, it's there

At some point, they find Emmet, tug him along, ya know. 'Course, Akari hasn't told him who she is, but she doesn't think that's the best thing to share at the moment

Soon enough they get abducted by Lamb, escape, rescue Ingo and Gus, get outta Rapture via lifeboat and dozens of children, and all live happy on the surface

[saiakv]

Post-Suguru's departure, do you have any headcanons surrounding him and Gojo crossing paths or intentionally seeking out one another? Or if they just kept a distance for the most part?

Roleplaying wise this depends on the portrayal of Satoru to me. Personally I'm more of a 'reactive' roleplayer, in that I work with what my writing partner gives me, so I don't really have headcanons pertaining to relationships because I don't see them as pre-established.

However since this is an interesting question ( and I'm virtually kissing you for it btw Bug ) I'll talk about Suguru's disposition towards that possibility.

Based on JJK0 we can deduct that Suguru didn't really think Satoru would be interested in talking to him again and maybe even hated him at this point. In the movie's end we can see he seems genuinely surprised to hear a nice word from his old friend's lips. Even though he, himself, didn't seem to have personal beef with Satoru for not being there during his time of need, he recognized and accepted that 'not everyone was going to agree with him' and there was nothing he could do about it, other than keep going.

I also want to point attention to the fact that a lot of people talk about how 'below the belt' Suguru's question to Satoru was, but from Suguru's pov what Satoru said to him was just as hurtful. He was at the point of making this new resolution for himself ( we, the readers, of course, know that his logic here is deranged af ) and, again, from HIS point of view, Satoru shot him down in an arrogant fashion.

As much as Suguru is an empathetic person by nature, Riko's death had driven a wedge between them. Moreso than that, I headcanon that Suguru never really came back from hearing the words 'I killed Gojo Satoru'. Even if his friend was still alive, it didn't feel like the same person — and in many ways, it wasn't. Additionally, the mere experience of that momentary grief and the subsequent loss from Toji was so traumatic to Suguru that he simply never recovered. Toji just beat his ass into an identity crisis :')

To conclude, I don't think Suguru would reach out first. Certainly because he was the one who ended things essentially, so what right would he have to indulge his own nostalgia and craving for his friend? I do think he missed him, a lot, and secretly wished they would have been on the same page. But it's not in his character to try and force it. And, lastly, there is one other major reason why I think he would have never reached out first.

Self-affirmation is one of the most important things to Suguru. So to him, losing this treasured relationship was the price he had to pay in order to pursue his ideals. Because if you want to win, you first have to lose something, otherwise it's just unrealistic to expect that you will win without having to lose anything of your own, right? Easy victories are not a realistic option to him; exactly because he is the other side of the coin to Satoru, for whom everything in life came easy. Suguru always had to fight and suffer to build character.

And, being a curse user, he understands the nature of jujutsu very well; it is an exchange. It's all in the science of binding vows. The bigger the sacrifice, the higher the output. He saw the end of their relationship as something necessary to achieve his goal; and maybe if he finally managed it, Satoru would join him in the new world among the other sorcerers.

( I do however believe that if Gojo had made the first step, he would be open to it — though it would entail a lot of caution and suspicion on his end initially, being that they are on opposite sides of the shogi board. Suguru would not let his emotions cloud his judgement and prioritize the safety of his family in that case, probably feeling conflicted over the situation because he did genuinely care for and miss Satoru as well. )

[immortaltale]

Which mbti personality type do you think Klopp is? According to the internet, he is supposed to be an entp but I don’t think he seems like one. I believe he once said in an interview that he can’t stand being late and in another he suggested something like his past life has been very disciplined and planned. This kind of corresponds more with a J instead of a P? Emotion is a big part of his football philosophy, but I kind of have this feeling that instead of pure sentiment it is more about the fact that he is keenly aware of the power of emotions and is very capable of using it and channeling it? There is also an interesting anecdote in Klopp’s biography that a dortmund player was upset because (he believed) Klopp tried to use the anfield crowd against them when the two teams met just a year or so after he left. Klopp himself also mentioned in some interview that he did not observe the warm-up sessions of the opposition team on purpose except the one occasion when it was with his old dortmund squad. This does show more T than F? Anyways I do feel rather clueless now as he really has a very interesting mix of character traits🧐

hi anon! sooooo glad you asked as personality typing is a big interest of mine :)

let me just preface by saying that i've thought about his type quite a bit, and i personally have come to the conclusion that he is an ESFJ (ennea so2). i have some reasoning for this which i'll explain. (long post ahead!! be warned!!)

so an ESFJ's dominant function (i.e. how they primarily navigate the world) is extroverted feeling, or Fe. Fe's whole idea is about basing values on other people's feelings and harmony. their emotions are influenced by external factors (hence the term "extroverted feeling")

this sounds to me like it fits klopp pretty well, don't you think? here's a quote from him:

"All we do in life is about relationships. Otherwise, if you only want to be responsible for the things you do and not anyone else, then live in a forest alone or on a mountain alone. When you enter a room, you have a little bit of responsibility for the mood in the room."

obviously everybody can have or prioritize emotions, but for Fe-doms (ESFJ and ENFJ) this is the most important thing for them. and this can be seen even by klopp's outlook on being a football manager. he says that it's not just about football, but it's about the people and how you treat them.

i also like how you mentioned that he seems very keenly aware of the power of emotions as well as being able to "channel" them, because Fe-doms can have a bad rap for being emotionally manipulative when unhealthy. of course i'm not calling klopp manipulative at all but rather pointing out how his behavior can be in line with others of his type.

this ain't about pep but quickly let's compare him, a Fi (introverted feeling) user to klopp the Fe-dom. while pep obviously isn't the totally unfeeling overlord some people tend to portray him as, his emotions are much more reserved outwardly as they're internal to him. klopp in comparison is much more of an open book, getting visibly angry at times while pep is more likely to be passive-aggressive. this is just an aside and not too in-depth but i find the comparison interesting so i brought it up.

now, klopp being Fe-dom leaves ENFJ and ESFJ as the possibilities so why have i decided on the latter? you pointed out a big part of it in your ask, it's his use of Si (introverted sensing). being an introverted function focused on the internal it's a bit harder to spot, but it's usually characterized by adherence to set rules and past experiences. his affinity for being "disciplined and planned" as you state, as well as his strict rules for his squad like not being late. Si-users also tend to like organization and routine.

"For me I love to organise other things to get advantage from [not having the ball] and that is deep in my personality..."

so that's basically it for Fe-Si, which would point towards him being an ESFJ! overall though i think his function stack is quite balanced as a result of him being a very healthy individual so i understand why it might be difficult to type him, i had trouble at first too.

but one last thing, because i've stated my case for why i think he's an ESFJ but i haven't necessarily said why i don't think he's an ENTP: i just don't see enough Ne (extroverted intuition) in him. certainly not enough for it to be his dominant function. Ne is all about abstraction, creativity, new ideas etc. klopp himself admits that he thinks he lacks creativity, and while i wouldn't call him tactically inflexible, i would say he has a certain bit of stubbornness about him where he tends to stick to his tried-and-true methods and philosophy rather than adapting, e.g. him not liking to utilize a low block (this is also another reason for Si>Ne). honestly i sometimes get the feeling that people only say he has Ne because he's funny and he laughs loud which is honestly just sterotyping to the max. "this guy is charismatic and funny? well he must be an ENTP har har." it's dumb as hell

anyway i hope you enjoyed my little explanation of my thoughts (if anyone even managed to read this far)! i can also explain pep and arteta (and to a lesser extent mourinho) but don't ask me about anyone else lol because i won't have anything to say

[madsworld15]

New Fic Alert! And I know I'm drunk but I'll say the words (Brian/Justin)

This fic is for the QaF Prompt Challenge 2024. I posted it to AO3 yesterday. It fills the prompt: drunk dialing after a break up (Prompt #15) [10/21 for me personally]

If Brian had been smart, he would’ve stopped after he visited Ben and Michael’s house. He was drunk, and that never boded well for smart decisions. As such, since he didn’t see Justin while on his visit, his brain thought it would be a good idea to call him up.

He knew he’d been belligerent when talking to Michael and accusing his best friend of brainwashing Justin. But, he felt like he needed to defend himself, even if Justin hadn’t heard every word of his rant – which wasn’t likely. He needed Justin to understand that he wasn’t actually mad. He was just drunk and lonely, a feeling he definitely wasn’t used to feeling.

So, the minute he managed to unfold himself from the taxi that took him home, Brian pulled out his cell phone and pressed the 1 key which was his speed dial for Justin. He smirked about the implications of what it meant that Justin had taken over as his number 1 speed dial.

He waited until he was at least on the elevator up to his loft before calling. That way, his conversation would be mostly private—that is if Justin picked up.

“Brian?” Justin’s voice came through the phone, definitely concerned.

“Sunshine!” Brian slurred, he was completely drunk, and his defenses were down. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled at Michael.”

“Why are you telling me this? Shouldn’t you be apologizing to him?” Justin’s tone was controlled and lacking in emotion now that Brian had started talking.

“I’m telling you because…because…you shouldn’t have heard all that.” Brian stumbled to get the words out. What he wanted to say was being hindered by the fogginess in his brain.

“Brian, we both know you meant every word of it.” Justin let out a bit of a sigh. “You should go to sleep, but make sure you have water and ibuprofen before going to bed. Tomorrow is going to be a bitch.”

“Wait, Jus. Please.” Brian never pleaded with Justin, hell or anyone for that matter, but he felt the person he cared about most in the world slipping away from him.

“Brian, you and I both know you’re never going to want to settle down and get married. It’s fine. That’s who you are. I wouldn’t want you to change that for me.” Justin gave a small cough.

“No, Justin, that’s just it. I would. For you. I don’t want to be without you.” Brian’s drunkenness was definitely making him more loose on the tongue. “I said those things to Mikey because his pretentious Stepford fag routine is exhausting. I didn’t mean I don’t want to be with you.”

Justin replied almost immediately, "I heard everything you said. You accused him of converting me. Do you really think I am that easily manipulated by other people's actions?"

"Sunshine." Brian slurred, tears welling up in the corner of his eyes. I would marry you. I've been considering it for weeks now. Ever since you came back from LA, I realized I didn't want to spend a single day without you."

“Brian, you’re drunk. Call me in the morning if you still feel the same.” Justin sighed again, “But I know you’re only calling me right now because you’re drunk and lonely.”

“What’s so wrong with that?”

“If you’re sober and lonely, give me a call. Otherwise, I stand by what I said. We are two people moving in different directions.” 

Brian tried to object again, but Justin had already hung up. Brian collapsed on his bed and rolled over to Justin’s side. As of right now, the pillow still smelled like him, and it made Brian’s heart ache all over again. Justin had always stuck by him no matter what bullshit Brian threw at him. But, this time, he couldn’t stop him. He knew Justin was right. Brian wasn’t brave enough to admit he wanted only Justin while he was sober. Justin deserved a man who could do that.

Brian shoved his face into Justin’s pillow, inhaled, and fell fast asleep. He didn’t drink any water or take any ibuprofen like Justin suggested. He was definitely going to hate life come the morning. Brian couldn’t find it in him to care enough.

The next morning Brian woke up to his head spinning and an empty apartment. Justin was gone for good this time. He could just tell. There was nothing he could do to change the young man’s mind. It didn’t matter that Brian had started to think about rings and a wedding in the last few weeks. As always, he refused to speak those thoughts out loud and sober, so Justin left. It’s what he deserved. Brian looked at his phone and the last words of Justin’s from the night before floated to the surface of his fuzzy brain.

“If you’re sober and lonely, give me a call.” 

Brian would, but his nerve had broken down along with his drunken stupor. His walls were back up and firmly in place. He couldn’t possibly allow himself to be vulnerable in that way and risk being rejected. No, it’s better he just acts as though it's business as usual. Never mind the fact that Justin left a gaping hole in his life that he could never fill with anyone else.

[seventeenlovesthree]

How would you describe Koushiro's personality, this is definitely not me following up on you describing Iori in DMs :P

Hehe, as I said, that's perfectly fine, since I highly enjoy doing character (and relationship) analyses! And this is a good one, because it forces me to put my own biases aside to make a somewhat objective statement. (Potential biases will probably still be included, but I'll try my best.)

So... How would I describe Koushirou's personality?

Aside from being Digimon Adventure's smart info-slash-exposition-dump-boy who has to figure out both the plot and the potential solution to every single problem the group encounters...

He is incredibly dedicated, committed and loyal - and I think the screenshot below sums that up quite well:

He has a high sense of responsibility and, in accordance with his dedicated nature, will do whatever it takes to find answers and solutions. Whether it's for the sake of his friends or the entire world(s). Because researching, being curious and wanting to know everything about everything - those are the "things that make him himself", the true holder of the Crest of Knowledge. Thus, he is not only "the resourceful problem-solver", the group's resident computer genius and an absolute over-achiever (he's got his own freaking company by the age of 21 after all), but also very prone to overworking himself, neglecting both his physical and mental health in the process.

It also means that he goes into hyperfocus mode easily - and those are the times where he is prone to become somewhat ignorant and unable to pick up on social cues. And so he may come off as too rational, not empathetic enough or even rude - but that doesn't mean that he's always that way! He's actually quite capable at making others open up to him - like a true dad senpai. He's quite observant of his friends and their issues - at least when things are not too urgent or at stake. His great sense of senpai-ness, unfortunately, also means that he feels responsible for keeping "the kids" in check (that includes friends that are actually older than him, btw.). He enjoys (over-)explaining things (read: rambling!) and providing tech and guidance for them - but they may also exhaust him sometimes, especially when they get themselves into unnecessarily dangerous situations. After all, he may not always be able to understand or adapt to the people around him, so he'd rather turn to technology at times instead. But he's really trying.

When it comes to himself, he used to hide behind a mask of self-imposed politeness. And yes, he is a kind and caring person at heart - those who grind his gears, take his gadgets without permission or make his computer freeze know that he can get very snappy and shouty though. Especially when they act irrationally to him. Or against his very strong moral code. He may make use of his networking and hacking skills to save the world - but he wouldn't break the law for harmful reasons. He is a giver through and through, his love language is definitely "acts of service" and he would do anything for his family and friends. To the point of literally sacrificing himself.

He's very much used to keeping secrets and his emotions (mostly) to himself though - Tentomon may still be the only one who has actually ever seen him have emotional breakdowns. Because he, unfortunately, still assigns a lot of his self-worth to being able to use his computer for the sake of "good". If he cannot be "useful", he still has the tendency to panic - all by himself. And may get flustered if you praise him too much. Otherwise, he is pretty confident in the mentioned hard skills. And since he's so goal-oriented, one can easily see why he evolved into a leading figure (basically Taichi's second in command) AND the #1 Digimon research expert, who not only manages the Chosen Children network as a connector and tech-sponsor, but also does PR work and such.

(On a sidenote: The subjects of fashion and romance may not come easily to him, but once again - he is trying his best.)

Tldr; he's an awfully smart, incredibly caring and loyal bean, immensely resourceful and a natural problem solver, but there's a lot he carries on his shoulders by himself (even if he doesn't have to) and he is still pretty bad at opening up to others.

I love him a lot and if you're interested in all my other meta posts I wrote about him, feel free to check these out: [Breaking male stereotypes] [On his own] [Selfishness vs. Selflessness] [Reboot] [Physical Touch] [Boyfriend] [Appreciation Hours] [Magical Boy] [Stageplay]

[dunkelzahn]

One of the things I think a lot of people don't really get about writing is that it doesn't necessarily have to be fiction.

Like, fiction writing. Good, excellent, create your worlds, tell your stories, may it be popular and lead to success. But it's so easy to crush your writing under the weight of your own expectations, isn't it? It's so dreadfully easy. You can write a first draft, or just an opening, and give up because you feel there's no way that it'll ever be good enough to show to anyone and that just taints your feelings about the work, your skills, and writing in general.

But what if you didn't seep all of that into your fiction? Just... write something. Doesn't have to be fiction. Like a diary entry. Your thoughts on the news. Conversations you want to have. Events in your life. A paragraph or so on that nice meal you had. Non-fiction stuff, things no one will read. Something with an audience of one person, totally personal and private.

Still, it's writing. I've written furious screeds about topics I don't think anyone else cares about, so I don't bore folks with posting them. I've written tutorials about subjects that've undoubtedly been covered, and in a more comprehensive way than I could manage. I've written love letters to someone that'll never read them. Sometimes what I write is just transcriptions from another source. (No one I know is interested in recipes from 14th century England.) I've written political rants aching with frustration. I've written reviews of canons and products. I've written apologies that will never cross the bridges I've already burned. Even, embarrassingly, a few bits of poetry. They were awful.

And, yes, I've written fiction, both original and fan fiction.

Sometimes it's experiments. Sometimes it's just to get my emotions straight. But writing about the real stuff, the stuff that isn't fiction, the stuff that doesn't have the expectation of readership.

Some of it's saved onto an external. A lot of it, I just delete once I've done it, after I let it sit for a day or four. Then I'll come back to reread it and feel satisfied that I've got it out of my system. So I clear out the text document and start on something new.

But the thing was, I wrote it. And it was freeing because, since I knew I'd be the only one to ever see it, I had no expectations and felt no pressure to make it good.

And, honestly, I feel like doing that frees up some of the pressure for when I do write something that's intended for others. It's like singing in the shower.

Anyway. This got overlong. The short of it is just this: When someone says 'just write something,' they don't necessarily mean to follow it with 'and show it to everyone.' I think a lot of people get caught up on that silent adder and it makes them shrivel up when they do keep writing and never manage to meet their own expectations.

So write, but write for yourself. If you happen to think it's good enough to share, do it. Otherwise, just treat it as private practice, a way to vent out those ideas and feelings until you either find the diamond you want to polish and show off or you decide that you're ready to show off the diamonds you've already got.