#because not burying the hatchet with claire

[thoughtfulchaos773]

I know we established the "Get Syd Moment" (I can't find the tumblrs of the original posters sorry I looked everywhere).

But can I point out his escalation to repeating- "Get fucking Syd. Get fucking Syd." chant? That was fear.

Earlier in the day, Carmy and Syd spoke of their worries; for Carmy, Claire's greatness scares him, while Sydney is scared she could fail.

Carmy may not have been completely honest, or he hasn't yet confronted his greatest fear: the possibility of leaving Sydney alone and the risk of her leaving him. Again.

While Syd is truly scared of Carmy doing it without her (that she admits underneath the table after telling Carmy that it was a failure that frightened her- she takes a pause under the table and is honest about it- he could do it without her, and that scares her)

She's hoping it doesn't come true, but throughout season 3, he is getting the star without her input.

He keeps pushing her away in his attempts to keep her close in his efforts to get the star or be physically next to her every shift.

I'd like to know if next season we see the possibility of even more frightened Carmy now that it's coming true that Sydney could leave.?

[its-vannah]

How Can I Love Again? | Part One | Eddie Roundtree x Reader

A/N: This chapter is mainly being used to set up the series—and provide some background.

Warnings: Mentions of a stroke, hospitals

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Daisy Jones and The Six Masterlist

Taglist: @stokzr @scenesofobx @celestialstar111 @jessevans

You’d never been a fan of big crowds. Sure, you were often thrown in the mix when you were younger, being the girlfriend of a then-wannabe rockstar, but that didn’t mean you liked it. It meant you dealt with it because you were young and in love—and a complete idiot. Now, you avoid crowded venues whenever you can. And while hospitals weren’t necessarily considered crowded in the terms you had always thought, being there now felt like all the walls were closing in on you.

The second a call came through the landline asking for you, something in your bones told you something was off.

“Is this Miss Y/N Roundtree?”

“It’s Y/N L/N,” You corrected, “Who is this?”

“This is Claire Speakman from Pittsburgh Memorial Hospital. I’m calling to notify you that Jane Roundtree is currently hospitalized after a stroke. You’re on her contact list.”

That’s when it hit you: Grannie Jane had put you on her contact list a few years back when you and Eddie were engaged. Of course, that had fallen through, but she must have forgotten to take you off.

“I—I’m on my way.”

You slammed the phone into the wall, rushing to grab your purse and keys. It didn’t take long before you were starting your car’s engine and making your way to the hospital.

Jane Roundtree had been a role model to you growing up—treating you as her own just like she had when raising Eddie. He may not be here, but that didn’t mean you couldn’t go and be there for her.

Three years ago, you thought you had buried the hatchet with the Roundtree’s—no matter how much it hurt. But now you were digging up a past you had been determined to leave behind.

——————————————————————————

“Can I help you with anything, Mrs. Roundtree?” You asked, nervousness laced in your voice as you followed behind her.

She turned, offering you a smile, “You can set out the plates. They’re in the cabinet next to the oven.”

Returning her smile, you went off in search of the plates she had asked for. Under no circumstances could you mess this up—few girls ever met Jane Roundtree, according to her grandson. You weren’t going to be a fool and do something stupid—so you did everything your parents had taught you: shown her nothing but respect, offered to help, and treated her grandson like a King.

You opened the cabinet, grabbing three plates and returning to her mere seconds later, eager to get on her good side.

Placing the white, floral plates down on top of the placemats on the table, you kept glancing up at her, wondering if you had won her over. But she remained as she had when you first met her—hard to read.

“Is there anything else, Mrs. Roundtree?”

“Oh, please, call me Jane. Mrs. Roundtree is far too formal for someone seeing my grandson. For all I know, you’ll take up that mantle someday.”

Heat surged through your cheeks, your heart nearly pounding out of your chest, “You never know.”

She glanced at Eddie, who was just coming in the door from making a quick trip to the grocery store to pick up dessert. As soon as he laid eyes on you, an affectionate smile formed on his face as he lifted the sunglasses from his eyes.

Jane leaned into you, her voice just above a whisper, “I think he knows. And looking at you—well, I think you do, too.

While Eddie set the dessert down in the kitchen, you bowed your head, unsure of how his grandmother would take what you were about to say, “I’m in love with him, Mrs. Roundtree—Jane.”

Upon seeing how genuine you were in your feelings for Eddie, her shoulders dropped as she wrapped you in a hug, “Oh, honey, just call me Gran.”

You returned her embrace, “You mean so much to him, Gran.”

“I could say the same about you,” She said, pulling away to brush the hair out of your face, “You’re the first girl he’s ever brought home.”

“Oh, really?” You let out a breathy laugh as Eddie entered the dining room, crossing the room to stand beside you.

Looking down at you, he smiled, “Did you two have fun while I was gone?”

Before you could respond, Gran piped up, “We were just talking about you, dear.”

“All good things, I hope.”

The two of you exchanged a knowing look, and you leaned in to kiss him on the cheek, “Well that’s no fun, is it?”

——————————————————————————

You were the only one in the room with Gran, sitting on an uncomfortable hospital chair at her side, keeping an eye on her as she slept. You loved that woman more than words could describe—but you had let your pride and breakup with Eddie come in the way of your relationship. If she never woke up—would she remember you? Thoughts swirled around your head, causing you to tear up at the thought. You couldn’t handle another Roundtree leaving you.

Distracted by your thoughts, you didn’t notice that her eyes had opened until you felt a hand squeezing around yours, a soft whisper filling the room, “Y/n? Oh, dear, I missed you.”

[gingergofastboatsmojito]

LOVE YOUR METAS! Looooove it! ❤️ But we know it's not gonna work bc he’ll be shitty. Right?

And we also know Marcus will have to literally keep him and Cousin from ripping their heads off as soon as Carmy gets out of that fridge.

Yeah, the apology might be cold or not, what really matters is what comes afterward, bc like you said: he’s gonna try and apologize with actions and fall into a rabbit hole of toxic behavior bc he doesn’t know how to apologize.

He tries, though… we gotta give him that.

Syd will end up accepting whatever apology he gives her anyway because she will prioritize The Bear, she's a pro, he will apologize to Claire and get back together with her which will not work, and I'm pretty sure we are gonna know Syd's dark side this season too, which might put her in the position to have to apologize too and whilst I bet she does know how to, I can't wait to see her in that position, Í'm getting too used to seeing Carmy there, I wanna know how Sydney does it and how he accepts it. That's gonna be juicy. The whole apology dynamic this season, I mean.

Marcus will feel guilty for not being there with his mother or not taking the calls and the one person he will want to apologize to, will be 6 feet under.

And Natalie and Donna will also have to bury the hatchet because the baby is coming:

It's gonna be the season of the apologies and the reconciliations but everything will get worse before it gets better.

How is Carmy going to apologize to Sydney?

The poster is out and as I suspected they're giving us ✨nothing✨ But what we do know from this is that Syd is going to be face to face with Carmy as soon as that door opens. Quick recap of this post of how their day went and how it's going to go. The day started and ended with Sydney's dad telling her "I love you chef." Carmy thinking about Claire. And then Sydney appears, then she stares at the bear.

I think this is going to be a cold open. Literally. Cold. Carmy and Syd are either going to say literally nothing to each other, or Carmy will try to apologize.

We've seen Carmy apologize in quite a few ways. Carmy apologized for being shitty to Sydney about her dish. Syd lied and said it was good between them. And as we know from what happened later, it was in fact, not good at all. Carmy then apologized for his behavior on the phone. She wasn't sure if she wanted to accept his apology until he offered her a whole new restaurant exactly how she wanted it. Family Style. Two tops, booths.

Then, Carmy brought in the I'm sorry sign. Which should really just be called the shut the fuck up and let's not talk about things sign. He gave Syd a shitty text apology for ditching her at Kasama. Then gave her another weak apology with the I'm sorry sign later for not calling her.

He gave the world's most insincere forced apology to Claire for "accidentally" giving her a fake number. He tried to say I'm sorry to Claire when his head was all over the place and she just told him to Never ever apologize. (which jokes on her now because as we know Carmy is apparently avoiding calling her to apologize)

He apologized to Sydney with the sign when they were arguing about the menu and told her he doesn't want to be shitty. And her response was just Okay, so don't be.

Carmy apologized for not knowing about Sydney's mom being dead and she tried to get him to stop because she thought he was pitying her when really he just felt bad he didn't know something that big about her life. Then Carmy apologized for being absent and not giving Syd his full focus telling her I'm sorry, not Claire's fault, which didn't really change much until he really listened to her and reassured her that everything was going to be okay and that he was there for her. Also a Thom Browne jacket doesn't hurt.

He threw one last weak I'm sorry sign for freaking out at her during service right before he got locked up.

We know that in Carmy's family he has been taught to apologize by saying I love you even when it's toxic af. He was forced to say it to his brother and mom when he was mad at them.

The words I love you played a huge role in the finale. From the voicemail Claire left Carmy to his fight with Richie. I love you started off as an apology but it's also used as a slap in the face when Richie tells him "I fucking love you" after comparing him to Donna and Carmy tells him "You fucking need me."

Which is basically Syd & Carmy's entire dynamic if you think about it. He needs her. He could not have made it through that night or built that restaurant without her. She knows that. He knows that. We know he's re entering a toxic chef era and falling back into bad family habits and being compared to Donna. I love you is lingering in his mind in so many different ways. So if he slips up and says the fucking words and tells Sydney Don't quit. I'm sorry. I love you. because that's the only way he's felt like he's been forgiven in his family, and then Sydney throws back a No, you just need me or just ignores it all together and says Whatever, we're good. because she feels his weaponizing those words;because she knows when she heard her dad say them to her that day they were truly sincere. And in true Marcus fashion he'll probably interrupt them and the cold open ends there.

Hearing Claire say I love you in that voicemail, him not saying it back but telling Sydney I love you to try and get her to stay.... If Claire finds out that he did that.... DRAMA. Either way Carmy has been undoubtedly scrambling trying to think of what the fuck he could possibly tell Syd to make things right after he told her you're not alone and then left her alone.

Sydney at this point does not have much of a choice regardless of how well he apologizes, because she can't just quit this time. Her dad is proud of her and she knows everyone else is relying on her to keep their jobs. And it's not the first time she would be accepting his apology even if things weren't actually good between them. He's going to have to actually work for this apology and make things up to her in the long run. Because if Carmy doesn't want to be shitty he has to simply show that he's not shitty, not just say it or give her a gift.

[number5theboy]

Favorite song montages/music scenes?

Oooohhhhh, love this. Because I’m on a roll, I made this another list, a top ten one, just so I don’t go overboard. I really looked at this as the scenes as a whole, rather than me liking the song or the scene individually. There are songs from the soundtrack that I love way more than some on this list, but didn’t think that they worked as well with the scene they’re in as the ones that did make the list. Without further ado:

10. I’m a Man (S2E2) - Diego & Reginald Fight

I just like how the aesthetics of this fight and the vibes of the song play perfectly together. It’s a more laid-back song than most fight scenes we get, and the line ‘I’m a man, yes I am, and I can’t help but love you so’ played over Reginald, who is demonstrably not a man and definitely doesn’t love Diego gives it such an almost sarcastic tone, like Reginald is toying with Diego.

9. Exit Music (For a Film) (S1E7) / All Die Young (S1E9) / Hello (S2E5) - Group Montages of Sadness and Change

I couldn’t decide between these three, because they all basically fulfill the same function in the narrative, showcasing different characters at low or turning points, and the mood of each song just hits perfectly. The way ‘Exit Music’ ramps up to Vanya’s guilt over killing and the confirmation that Leonard is Harold Jenkins. How ‘All Die Young’ is upbeat yet melancholic as nobody but Vanya truly is at their lowest at that moment, but you feel the arrow being drawn to the inevitable conclusion to this whole mess. And ‘Hello’ hit so much harder than it had any right to, it have the Swedes some dimension, but also the interplay of music with the funeral and the siblings’ big decisions, Vanya trying to confess to Sissy, Klaus going back to his cult, Allison telling Ray the truth, Diego and Luther burying the hatchet. It’s the perfect mood for it all, and the idea to use a Swedish cover is absolutely brilliant by the music department.

8. Soul Kitchen (S1E6) - Klaus & Dave in Vietnam

The Doors and Vietnam of course perfectly fits, but using the Doors to soundtrack a gay Vietnam romance??? Awesome. I’m usually someone with an ear for lyrics rather than the music, because I just know more about it, so I like it when the lyrics match up, but in this case, I don’t know any of the lyrics. I just like the mood the music creates. It’s a club in Vietnam and they’re not dancing to a club song. I like the rift between image and sound, and the sound still creates such a charged yet comfortable atmosphere.

7. In the Heat of the Moment (S1E5) - Five’s life in the apocalypse through the years 

The fact that Noel Gallagher’s snooty singing and borderline meaningless lyrics fit this scene so perfectly is a minor miracle, but they do. The na na na nas coming in with the image after the counting in before the song quiets down just to soar again over Five’s struggles. And it’s also not a song that sounds strong, that is technically perfect, it never quite reaches grandeur, and I don’t know why the atmosphere it creates goes so hand in hand with decades in an apocalyptic wasteland. And the irony of a song about having someone by your side over excruciating loneliness. Also the lyric ‘you better learn to fly ‘cause they’re gonna point you up at sky’ objectively goes harder than Noel Gallagher lyrics should.

6. Stormy Weather (S1E8) - Allison drives through the rain to find Vanya, haunted by her past actions and flashes back to when she rumoured her daughter

It’s just the perfect soundtrack to Allison’s backstory with her powers, and the fact that it’s sung by Emmy Raver-Lampman herself adds a dimension to it. The entire scene is centered around her voice, you hear her past rumours, you see her tell a story to Claire, then rumour her, and she is singing in the background. It intertwines scene and soundtrack on another level, and I love it. The combination of the sad lyrics but the more upbeat instrumentation, and how they carry into her memory........so good.

5. Shingaling (S1E4) / Pepper (S2E8) - Drug Trip Scenes

TUA has two scenes where people are tripping on drugs, and I cannot choose which one I like more. The mood for weed chocolate vs the consciousness-warping FBI drugs is so drastically different but the song choices are so perfect for both. Hazel and Cha-Cha dancing high off their asses to Shingaling, which is a chill but fun song as they commit arson, coupled with that green colouring and fun shot set-ups. Truly exquisite. Vanya getting nightmare visions in the FBI building, with the weird, disconcerting energy and lyrics of Pepper blasting, and the second-best use of scene switch at the drop that this show has pulled off this far. Stupendous.

4. Run Boy Run (S1E2) / Never Tear Us Apart (S1E2) - Five pushes his powers and lands himself in the apocalypse, where he finds his siblings’ bodies

These scenes are SO good. So good, and it’s because the music is the driving force of the emotion in that moment. Run Boy Run has exuberant energy to underline Five’s excitement as he’s testing out his powers, but it’s also somber and dark and swells at the chorus, which leads to the best scene-switch at a song’s drop in the show. The moment where Five lands in the apocalypse as the chorus becomes grand and he looks around, panicked, and when he runs frantically back to the Academy with the claps and percussion in the background? I get chills every time, and the lyrics make it, I think, the definite Five song as it pertains to his character, his characterisation, his arc, as running, in many different interpretations, is one of the key themes to Five for the entire show. The relatively short scenes really hammers in the tragedy of Five being ripped from his home at such a young age, and it gets underlined with Never Tear Us Apart. I put it with Run Boy Run because they fit together, but Never Tear Us Apart is heart-wrenching in itself. Just the imagine of Five searching through the rubble for his siblings, his small frame stumbling through the ruins, with Paloma Faith giving it her all in the soundtrack, and this heavy bass really banging us over the head with the heaviness of the situation. It’s great and sad and both scenes are carried as much by the soundtrack as they are though Aidan Gallagher’s acting.

3. The Phantom of the Opera Medley (S1E1) / I Think We’re Alone Now (S1E1) / Sister of Pearl (S2E7) - Character-establishing Montages

I am a sucker for this trope, of characters being characterised through a song playing, and TUA pulls it off so well. Phantom of the Opera shows you what the siblings do and where they are at in their lives perfectly, telling you so much with so little. It’s a great introduction and using the Phantom of the Opera, with the idea of Vanya being the phantom, the mysterious musician constantly belittled and underestimated (this is generalised, very much so, but it fits) that lashes out at some point because of the abuse they suffered, is genius also because it combines different themes that you can set the Hargreeves to. I Think We’re Alone Now is about personalities, of who these siblings are if nobody’s watching. I don’t think I need to sing its praises, the scene has become iconic for a reason, it’s memorable and creative. And the music choice, a pop song that they could have listened in their youth, with lyrics that are eerily prophetic, is so good. And Sister of Pearl is the long-awaited addition that introduces Ben’s character, and the music is sweet and fun and him messing around in the world, all giddy and a little goofy, fits with the whole theme of dancing like no one is watching. All three are so amazing at characterising the different Hargreeves.

2. Istanbul (Not Constantinople) (S1E1) - Five fights the Commission agents at Griddy’s

Okay, but what is better than a musical sequence that characterises a sibling? A musical sequence that characterises a sibling that’s also a fight scene! I’m not going to be long about this one, because I wrote 500 words on why I think Istanbul (Not Constantinople) is a brilliant scene just yesterday, you can find it here if you scroll for a bit. It hits so many sweet spots. It re-contextualises Five and adds several dimensions to him. The fight scene is brutal but the music is happy and fun. The song is thematically relevant to the scene and the character and what this scene is trying to accomplish, namely making clear that this kid, who looks like he did at age 13, is not the same as he was, and never will be. Again, go to that other post, I couldn’t stop gushing about how excellent this sequence is, because I really love it, but Season 2 brought along another that I love even more.

1. The Order of Death (S2E6) - Five arrives at the address Reginald sent them, and watches on as his siblings slowly join him one after one

I genuinely don’t know why this one resonated with me so much. I just like the cold but melodic 80s synth together with the cinematography. Every single shot is so good, Five looking up at the looming skyscraper, him climbing the stairs, pushing the button with the use of negative space to show his loneliness, until he gets into the elevator where his siblings come to him. And the music is so fitting, for the scene, but also for Five as a character, it’s a song that works well for him. The rhythmic thumping of ‘this is what you want, this is what you get, this is what you want, this is what you get’ is so dark at second viewing, because this is what Five wants: to talk to Reginald, with the support of his siblings. And what is it he gets? What is the consequence of his actions? His existence gets wiped from history. The music is tense, in anticipation of what comes next, and fits perfectly over these wide establishing shots and their harsh lighting. I can’t pinpoint why I like The Order of Death more than any other musical sequence in the show, but I do. It is such a small, yet perfectly executed scene, and it hits some emotion within me, even though I can’t really articulate which one it is. Intrigue, probably, mixed with dread and a hint of sadness because now I know how this enterprise ends, and it’s not well.

[dyns33]

Duncan having an intense argument with a liberal girl in the white house's office. Y/N hates Duncan because he's a republican and Duncan doesn't even know why he hates Y/N (liberal, I guess?) But they discover that both have a lot in common that they think. Not only in terms of politics.

 I’m not really good in politics, so all I know about it comes from Wikipedia... 

           "What the fuck are you doing it Shepherd ?!"

It was always nice to be greeted by the President's favorite doggie, who had almost completely ruined his life by revealing to him that he had been adopted before having him arrested for high treason, almost putting him in prison forever, and who now wanted to speak to him to supposedly burying the hatchet. Duncan had hesitated before accepting the invitation to the White House, after the last time, and knowing that Annette and Bill would not be delighted, but he had thought about it, seeing an opportunity to save his reputation, because if Claire Underwood agreed to see him despite all the charges, so maybe the public would think it was just a huge mistake. While waiting for the president to finish an important meeting, he had hoped not to cross paths with (Y / N), one of her assistants, a loyal little soldier who had always followed her. Claire could laugh at the relationship Frank and Doug had all she wanted, but theirs wasn't much better. As soon as she saw him in the hallway, (Y / N) almost jumped on him, barking. It was a little surprising that the president did not tell her that he had to come, or else she wanted him to be yelled at a little before receiving him.

           "I was invited." he sighed as he tried to walk away.

           "Invited ? You ? Who is the fool who may want to see you after all that you and your family had done ?"

           "This fool is your dear boss and our beloved president. If your planning is not up to date, it's not my fault."

(Y / N) seemed outraged, as if she refrained from hitting him, but she was also embarrassed to have insulted the president without doing it on purpose, so she simply made a face of disgust, before standing in front of the door of the oval office, as if she didn't believe him and preferred to be certain that he had no bad intentions.

           "After the incident with Mr. Yates, I find that normal." she growled.

           "Ah yes. Attempted murder, then suicide, right ? You really believe in it or you just don't want to see that she probably killed him ?"

           " Shut up Shepherd. We can also talk about your wonderful app if you want. How much did your mother have to pay for the judges to agree to let you out with nothing ? You Republicans are really... You love judges only when it suits you, huh ? The president must go to the Supreme Court for totally invented crimes, but if it is you, the judges should not have the right to legislate. Unless, of course, they can to be bought, so it doesn't matter. You can sleep knowing that you are a traitor to the country that you claim to love and defend Shepherd ? And all that for your family ? Capitalist assholes who think only of money and who will throw you under a bus if you're not up to it ?"

           "Fuck you."

This charming discussion could have continued, turning into a fight, if Claire Underwood had not left her office at that time, smiling, placing her hand on (Y/N)'s shoulder to calm her down, telling her that everything was fine, before inviting Duncan to follow her. He couldn't help but wink at the little dog before closing the door, amused when he saw her expression. The rest was less amusing, when he discovered that it was not Annette, as he thought, who had paid his bail, but Claire. The pragmatic Bill Shepherd had forbidden his sister to intervene during this affair, to not attract more bad publicity to them, without forgetting that he was not one of them, so it was not really important. Claire handed him a handkerchief when she saw his eyes fill with tears.

           "I couldn't let you go to jail. Now that I'm a mother, now that I have a family, I see things differently. I'm sorry I used you to reach Annette, even if you can't say that she didn't do the same. Your application could have been perfect, if they hadn't hijacked it for illegal purposes. You would have had a good career and it would be difficult after what happened to take over the business. I feel responsible, I want to help you."

           "I think you've done enough." he breathed, struggling not to cry. "Why tell me all this ? Why don't you let me believe that my mo... Annette and Bill still wanted me ?"

           "So they don't manipulate you again. I'm giving you your freedom a second time. Don't let it go, Duncan."

It was really nice to say that to a man : you are free. You are alone, you have lost everything, you are hated by almost the whole country, you have no family, but you are free, so smile. At least Claire did not offend him by offering him to work for her or speak with Annette, she simply wished him luck, shaking his hand before taking him outside. Despite his tremors, he managed to grab a cigarette and his lighter, needing to smoke so as not to crack, but between his fingers which refused to remain calm and his vision which was disturbed because of the tears, impossible to light it. Someone came to help him, quickly taking his lighter. (Y / N). Great. He really didn't need that now.

           "Are you... you crying ?" she wondered. "Are you going to complain about the mean president to your dear mommy ?"

           "Don't talk about what you don't know !"

           "Wow ! Calm down, Shepherd."

           "I am not a Shepherd !" he shouted, turning to her, unable to control himself because of all the fury and despair he had accumulated for weeks, wanting to save appearances. "I have no family, I have nothing, no one will want to work with me or even be seen with me ! My life is over ! But go ahead, make fun of me ! Tell me that's what I deserve, that I'm just a capitalist asshole, crying because he has no money left ! I didn't care about money, I wanted to make a revolutionary application, I wanted to change things, I wanted the Americans to be able to express themselves as they wanted and to be informed on all subjects, and Bill ruined everything ! All their political bullshit ruined everything ! I'm not playing politics, shit, I'm a business man ! Well... I was a business man."

Contrary to what he thought, (Y / N) didn't make fun of him, but neither did she seem to have pity on him, frowning before sighing and hitting him softly in the back of the head.

           "Hey !"

           "Shut up Shep... Duncan. Life is hard, sometimes we get in big trouble, but stop whining and fight back ! Are you smart ? You're going to find a job quickly, even with this 'scandal'. Some idiots might even want to have you because of that. You have no more money ? You will earn more, unless all the capitalists in the world forget how capitalism works, that is, by circulating money, and not keeping it in a bank. Was your application good ? Do another one, but this time one that respects the privacy of the users and that no motherfucker can use for personal gain. You have been found innocent. even if the judge was bought ? So you're innocent and people quickly forget about this story."

           "Even you who yell at me when you see me, talking about it over and over ?"

           "You had insulted the president, I just reacted !"

           "Okay. She asked the judge to release me, are you going to criticize her or remind me that I was adopted to divert the conversation ?"

           "What ? She... But..." stammered (Y / N), visibly surprised by this news, before taking his cigarette to smoke it.

They stood there for a moment without saying anything, in the cold, looking at the gray sky thinking of everything they believed, all their hopes and dreams that were never going to come true, all the things that kept them apart and brought them together.

           "My father was a Republican." said (Y / N) looking down. "A real asshole. Very rich, very racist, very sexist, loving no one but himself... But you don't see that when you are a child, he was my hero, I believed everything he said, I thought the media was lying to us all the time, that we were the best, that we deserved to be happy because we were born in the right place, at the right time. I was happy to receive lots of money without doing anything. Then my mother left him, I walked away from him and it was after that that my eyes opened. Wait. I'm not saying that everything the Republicans say is false, some ideas are interesting, but in fact, I find that they are unfair and selfish people who use others to succeed. Like your Bill, who thought only of him, regardless of what could happen to you. You're much better off without him, believe me."

Gently, she gave him back his cigarette before putting her hand on his arm, tapping it timidly, biting her lips, visibly uncomfortable. Now that he thought about it, Duncan had not stopped looking at his navel, without seeing that even if his situation was horrible, there were thousands of people who lived worse, every day, and who nevertheless came to be happy and do what they wanted. No doubt (Y / N) was not wrong, he had always been a temperamental, protected, selfish little boy with an easy life. With his studies, his experience, and even his name, since no one knew he was not really a Shepherd, he had no reason to be so desperate. He had never been close to Bill, and not really to Annette. He was young, he had time.

           "Thank you..." he muttered.

           "Hmm. You're welcome. Are you... racist or sexist ?"

           "What ? No !"

           "Okay. So maybe you're not that bad. A boy who cries in public without being ashamed can't be that bad."

           "I'm not crying. And I thought I was alone."

(Y / N) laughed, opening her mouth to speak when a bodyguard approached, to tell her that the president wanted to see her. Quickly, she took a card from her pocket, with her number on it.

           "Call me... if you're alone again, not crying. Or just to talk."

Playing with the card between his fingers, Duncan smiled at her before following the bodyguard to leave the White House, returning to his empty apartment, but feeling much lighter.

[imagineclaireandjamie]

Hope in Change - Epilogue

Murtagh stumbles across a couple arguing in the street and quickly realizes the young woman is Brianna.

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five

Murtagh, Jamie, and Ian were at work building a cabin for Fergus and Marsali and Claire had taken Lizzie to help deliver a baby at one of the settler’s cabins several miles away, so Brianna volunteered to run back and forth fetching spare or replacement tools, bringing food and water, leading Clarence back to his pen when they’d finished moving the heavier logs into place for stripping and cutting.

The mule was stubborn and reluctant to return to captivity after having a chance to stretch his legs and do more than pull a cart. Each time Brianna disappeared around the house to grab him some more food or check to see how the laundry was drying on the line, he made a ruckus when she came back into sight and stamped his foot to get her attention.

“You’re like a toddler throwing a tantrum,” she muttered before rolling her eyes and heading to check on the goats and horses for their midday meal.

This time he started making noises before she’d even reached an area where he could see her. But when she rounded the corner he wasn’t alone.

“Roger?” she gasped, dropping an empty pail to the ground and running to him as he tried to dismount before his horse had stopped walking. She threw herself in his arms and buried her face in his neck. He held her tightly, sighing with relief.

“You need a bath,” she told him, her words muffled by his coat.

“Nice to see you too,” he chuckled, pulling back to look at her. She smiled then stood on her toes to kiss him.

“Did Bonnet or his men give you any more trouble? They didn’t hurt you, did they? Is that why it took you so long to find your way here?” she rambled, her eyes roving over him taking in the details of his appearance to be sure he was really there and truly in one piece.

He laughed again taking a step back to spread his arms so she could better see him. “I’m no injured. They gave me a hard time but it wasna anything I couldna handle—no after spending all that time wi’ them at sea. And it took me so long to get here because it’s a long bloody way from Philadelphia to Fraser’s Ridge when ye’ve naught but yer own two feet for much of the way—it has to be close to a thousand miles… or at least, it feels that far. I didna manage to find a horse I could afford till I’d nearly reached Virginia.”

Convinced by his cheerful indignation, Brianna grinned and moved to lead his horse to the barn while she filled him in on what she’d been up to in his absence.

“Mama probably won’t be back until tomorrow but Da and the others will be home a little before dark. Come in and help me make supper and maybe I’ll let you have some too,” she teased.

There wasn’t much left to be done as she’d accomplished the more difficult preparation earlier—dough for a pie crust, the meat (venison) cleaned and cut as finely as she could manage, kept that separate from the potatoes and carrots she’d diced. She rolled out the dough and began piecing the elements together while Roger built up the fire in the hearth.

“How are ye doin’ wi’ everything?” Roger asked, taking a seat on the bench opposite and watching her closely.

“It’s… been interesting. I’ve been hunting with Jamie and we’ve talked a lot. It’s strange, but not in a bad way… just… disorienting,” she told him, her attention entirely on the food in her hands as she stacked and arranged the pie’s filling, careful to make sure all the ingredients were distributed in equal measure. “It’s hard to explain. Every time I feel like I’ve got a handle on the past—on my childhood—I see something or hear a story and it shifts all over again. Like when I see him come up behind my mother and rub her neck… and she leaned into it and… I remember all the times I saw Daddy try to do that and she shrugged him off… until he just stopped touching her that way. I don’t think I’ll ever stop being surprised by him—by them. You’ll hardly recognize Mama when you see her.”

“Bein’ in this time… it changes ye,” he agreed. “Makes sense now, how different yer mam could be after she returned—and no just because of Jamie. I ken I’ve a newfound appreciation for many a convenience I took for granted back home. Indoor plumbing and modern transportation bein’ verra high on that list. I’ll say a prayer of thanks each and every time I so much as look at a proper toilet.”

Brianna gave him a weak smile as she crimped the crust on the pie and turned to set it into the brick oven at the side of the hearth. The rebuilt fire was beginning to warm the space but it would take a while for the pie to be thoroughly cooked.

“I’ll get you some water you can use to clean up,” Brianna said, puttering around the cabin to locate a bucket and fill it with warm water from the enormous cauldron near the hearth. She led him out the door and in the direction of a small hut. “Since Lizzie went with Mama and they shouldn’t be back till tomorrow, you can borrow her bed tonight. We can figure out something else in the morning. You’ll want to rest and brace yourself for meeting my father and cousin. Murtagh shouldn’t be too intimidating for you at this point. Blankets,” she exclaimed after setting the bucket down. “I’ll go find some.”

By the time she returned, Roger had managed to clear most of the sweat and dust from his face, neck, and arms. He’d pulled his shirt off as well and was splashing water over his chest and dribbling it down his back, not caring that it was soaking into his breeks and continuing on its way down the rest of his body. He had a single change of clothes in his pack but those weren’t in much better shape than what he was wearing.

“Here,” Brianna said, showing him the quilt and furs she’d brought. She set them down on the bed along one side of the hut’s walls. She stepped closer to him, taking the ragged stock he was using as a washcloth and wringing it out thoroughly before wetting it again and helping him reach the difficult spots on his back. “Hmm. Much better. I’ll show you the creek we use for bathing in the morning. It’s a bit chilly but easier than trying to heat the water for a hot bath.”

“If that’s Lizzie’s bed,” Roger nodded to the one she’d put the blankets on, “then the other would be yers, I’m guessin’?”

“You would be guessing right,” Brianna confirmed. “And… you don’t have to sleep in Lizzie’s bed if you don’t want to. It’s small but it’ll be warmer and cozier in mine.”

“Bree… I’ve missed ye—Lord knows I have—but… have ye changed yer mind? About marryin’ me?” he asked quietly.

“I can’t,” she told him, tears in her eyes. “I just… it wouldn’t be fair to you. Not when things are so different now.”

“Different?” he asked, taking a step closer to her. “Different how? Ye still want to take me to yer bed. Tha’s no different, or am I misunderstandin’ yer invitation?”

Her cheeks went pink with embarrassment.

“No, I still love you and want you to be the first man I… take to my bed, as you put it. But… spending these last weeks with Mama and Da… I told them about the fire. They’re not sure there’s anything that can be done to keep it from happening either. And we don’t know when exactly it’s going to happen. It could be this year or the next or five years from now… But just in case we can’t stop it and the worst does happen… I don’t want to regret that I didn’t spend more time with them when I had a chance to.”

Roger took a step back, his expression going slack as what she meant sank in. “Ye’re stayin’ here. Ye mean to stay no just for a few weeks or months… but years.”

“Yes. I remember what it was like to lose Daddy and how much I wished I’d agreed to go with him when he had to run errands or that I’d stayed at the office with him while he worked and I’d gone off with my friends instead. I want to know that I’ve done everything I can to save my parents and that I spent every second with them that I could.”

“And ye dinna think I’d stay with ye?”

“It wouldn’t be fair for me to ask you to,” Brianna pressed, her face getting redder as she forced herself to confess, “and I don’t want to lose you without knowing what it’s like to be with you, to show you how much I do love you.”

Roger laughed and the redness in Brianna’s face switched from the self-conscious shades toward those darker shades born of rising fury. But he rested his hands on her shoulders and smiled at her narrowed eyes and furrowed brow.

“Ye’re not askin’ and ye dinna need to. Ever. If ye’re goin’ to stay then so am I. Ye love me enough to let me go? I love you enough not to care where—or when—we are, so long as it’s together.”

Her face softened and tears pooled in her eyes as she beamed at him a second before throwing her arms around him and kissing him silly.

They laughed and held each other tight, Roger lifting her off her feet and spinning her around in the cramped quarters of the hut. Setting her down again, Roger kissed her softly, then again longer. She clung to the damp, bare muscles of his back, pressed herself against the length of him. They pulled back to look at each other, the simple joy replaced with the deeper yearning both felt. Neither said a word as Brianna pulled him toward her bed.

“The spare head should be right inside the barn door,” Jamie told Lizzie while Claire fussed with the dressing around his hand. “Be quick about it. Murtagh will be lookin’ for it. We wanted to be done wi’ preppin’ the beams ‘fore givin’ up for the day and he’s stubborn enough to try workin’ in the dark… And Ian’s foolish enough to go along wi’ it.”

“Oh, give them more credit than that,” Claire suggested, frowning at the cut on the back of Jamie’s hand from when the head of the hatchet came loose mid swing and flown off the handle. His reflexes were fast or he might have been in danger of losing the hand altogether. Instead it was superficial and shallow, a scrape across the back with deeper gouges at the knuckles. “Or give yourself fewer airs. If it weren’t for your mishap here, you’d be just as determined to work whatever the light conditions might be. Let’s get inside so I can clean and bandage this properly.”

“I need to tend yer horse,” he objected, moving to take the reins even as she reached to release the straps that held her medical box in place.

“I can tend the horse while you go in and rest a few minutes,” she insisted. “See what we have for supper and—”

“Bree came back to make supper some time ago,” Jamie reminded her. “We hadna thought ye’d be back tonight.”

“Well, that’s what happens when the baby arrives before the midwife. All it took was a quick check on mother and child, a small glass of whisky to wet the baby’s head, and we were headed back the way we came.”

“Mistress Claire, Mister Jamie,” Lizzie exclaimed, running toward them with the spare hatchet head in her hand. “There’s a strange horse in the barn,” she informed them, her eyes wide and frightened.

“Never mind about that,” Jamie told her calmly. “Get that back to Murtagh and Ian and stay wi’ them until they come home. Perhaps wi’ you waitin’ there for ‘em they’ll decide to just be done for the day.”

Lizzie nodded and headed off down the path.

When she was out of sight Claire began calling for Brianna and Jamie went to check the house when she failed to appear.

“There’s a pie cookin’ in the oven,” he told Claire, “so she’s no likely to have gone far.”

“And the ‘strange horse’ is in the barn so whoever it belongs to must be nearby as well. Perhaps they only went to fetch wood or to get more water,” Claire suggested hopefully.

A moment later, Brianna emerged from the hut she shared with Lizzie. She brushed some loose curls out of her flushed face and smoothed her hands down the front of her bodice.

“Mama… What’re you doing home? You weren’t supposed to be back till tomorrow,” Brianna remarked.

“The baby came quick,” Claire explained, her eyes narrowing at her daughter.

“D’ye ken who the horse in the barn belongs to, a nighean?” Jamie asked.

“Actually… yes. Roger arrived a little while ago. I was making up Lizzie’s bed for him since she was supposed to be with you all night, Mama. But I can put it back the way it was and he can sleep somewhere else. He’s cleaning up a bit from being on the road so long,” she told them, glancing back over her shoulder.

Roger poked his head out. “Good to see ye, Claire. I’ll right there. Dinna want to be sayin’ ‘hello’ still smellin’ of horse.”

“Mmmhmm,” Claire murmured, trying to keep a straight face as she turned to look at Jamie. He looked torn between laughter and shock. “We’ll be in the cabin when you’re ready,” Claire called to them, nudging Jamie in the other direction. “Your father hurt his hand and I need to clean it.”

[ayearofpike]

Final Friends, Book 3: The Graduation

Pocket Books, 1989 238 pages, 25 chapters + epilogue, 10-page introduction ISBN 0-671-73680-9 LOC: CPB Box no. 1779 vol. 23 OCLC: 670303406 Released December 10, 1988 (per B&N)

When we last left our friends, they were all going their separate ways in the wake of the tragic accident that paralyzed the homecoming queen. Now, six months later, they’re brought back together for Tabb High’s graduation ceremony, and the after-party cruise to Catalina. It creates a deadline by which the kids need to find Alice’s killer before they’re apart for good. This last party is the end of all possibility – an end made more pressing by someone’s goal to make sure the ship never reaches the island.

I think I was more confused by this than was actually warranted when I read it at 13 or whatever I was, because the very idea of familial death, the anxiety and personal blame that someone might go through in the wake of it, and treatment by electroshock and its effects were just not something I could relate to or even try to empathize with. Because – 

Well, let’s just tell the damn story in reverse: it was Polly. She accidentally distracted Alice into falling off a ladder at the party, and the blow to the head killed her. But Polly had shocked herself trying to change a light bulb earlier, and presumably the shock manifested some of the guilt over the death of her parents that her previous ECT had helped her suppress. Yes, Polly was in the car that went off the cliff, and was distracting her father right before the accident! So to keep herself from being blamed for Alice’s death (maybe more to herself than to anyone else) she staged a suicide: posed her sister with the gun in her mouth, muffled the gunshot so that it would look real, then went outside and fired a shotgun blast near the bedroom window so the final revelers would hear it and think it was Alice.

What about Maria’s fall from the parade float? That was Polly too. See, she expected Jessica to win homecoming queen, but also subconsciously blamed her for the party happening in the first place and thereby Alice’s death. So she compromised the queen’s platform, expecting Jessica to climb up there, break it, and break herself. Because Maria was so much smaller, it took a second ascension for the boards to finally give. She also stole Sara’s homecoming dance money to keep it safe, because she was worried Sara would do just what she did and leave her purse somewhere and lose it. Oh, and she chopped down the varsity tree, maybe because Russ wanted to but also because she wanted to punish Bill and Clair and The Rock and the other pretty people who’d started the fight at the party that preceded Alice’s death.

The thing is, she wasn’t even fully aware she was doing these things. Just before something terrible happened, Polly would see Clark, who would offer hints and threats against her classmates. We slowly learn that she’s been imagining him: his strangeness and his closeness to her pushed him into the role, in her mind, of her angry avenging side, one that she didn’t always have total control over. She tells Michael and Jessica both that Clark is somehow responsible for these things, even though they know on some level that he can’t be. Like, here Polly swears up and down that Clark is on the boat, but a) Michael went to his house right before coming on board and didn’t encounter Clark on the way, and b) Jessica was one of the first three people on the ship, with Polly being another, and she knows that Polly came aboard alone. Plus, there aren’t many places for this weirdo to hide; all the staterooms save three (for the first three girls) are locked, and Michael inspects the whole rest of the ship to no avail.

He starts to suspect that Polly isn’t telling the whole truth (actually, while he’s at Clark’s house), but doesn’t confront her with it until the whole group is gathered below decks in the engine room to try to smoke out the real killer. Maria’s on board with this too. She’s been in a rehab facility since her accident – lots of time to think about Michael’s perspective and realize that if Alice was killed, it was probably the same person who tampered with the float and left her paralyzed from the waist down. So she pretty much uses Nick to scare everyone into showing up for the gathering.

Now, I understood a lot more about how the Final Friends got to this point on this reread, but that doesn’t mean that I necessarily agreed with how it went down. Like, Michael pretty much stern-voiced the mental illness out of Polly. He barked at her about what he suspected had happened and how she was making Clark up in her mind, and that “his” malicious anger at the group was coming from somewhere inside Polly. And, ta-da, she suddenly remembered everything and had clarity. Which, like ... that’s not how it works. I feel like we’re all aware in 2018 that you can’t just decide to not be crazy, to say nothing of whether someone else can do it in seconds. And, sure, the ECT she underwent as a child might have contributed to this mental state in some way, but the procedure typically stems from the fact that mental issues are there in the first place. (See also Carrie Fisher’s defense of her own experience with it.)

It doesn’t really matter, though. Not only does Polly remember doing this stuff, she takes ownership of it and is prepared to follow through. So the bomb “Clark” planted in a locker against the hull? Yeah, literally a bomb! Well, construction explosive from Polly’s company, set to blow at 2 am when everyone was asleep and maximize casualties on the sinking ship. She protects it with the shotgun that “Clark” strategically planted for her to find. So it blows up and the ship starts sinking, but the friends get off the boat and into a lifeboat. But then Polly produces another bomb from her jacket! She’s already gone from blaming the others to blaming herself, and she’s ready to put an end to it. So everyone bails. Except Jessica.

Sure, this is partly because Jessica can’t swim and has a broken arm besides and there are no life vests left. But, realistically, if she’d said so, someone else would have given theirs up. The truth is Jessica knows, somewhere deep down, that she’s the only one who can help Polly right now. Michael’s just yelling and unsympathetic; Jessica’s known Polly her whole life, and she knows Polly didn’t try to kill her parents, and she knows Polly didn’t try to kill Alice. Polly also knows Jessica can’t swim (which was part of the rationale behind “Clark” sinking the ship), but as they talk Polly starts to realize that someone does care about her, and that she’s not beyond help. So at the last second she throws the bomb overboard.

So everybody’s alive! And has a happy ending? Let’s wrap up the loose ends.

Did Michael and Jessica end up together? Yes, finally. But not before Jessica all but gave up on him and tried to seduce Bill, who ran away and called her a slut. Apparently, he did the same thing to Clair at the party, and that plus his defense of The Rock and his attempts to hang with Michael outside of school lead them to draw the conclusion that Bill is gay. I mean, there are more explanations for what happened, and I’m not totally sure Pike did justice to homosexuality in this book, but remember, 1989. We can build more nuance into our understanding because we’re more empathetic to this stuff now.

What about Clair? Did she really have an abortion? She did, in fact. But wait! If she didn’t fuck Bill, whose was it? No surprise, if you were paying attention: it was Bubba, somehow. Yeah, the repulsive little troll managed to weasel his way into her panties, and when trouble arose he took care of it – and pretty much instantly regretted it. So the experience brought him and Clair closer together, and when they get back to the mainland they’re going to drive to Vegas and get married. WHAT. Just one more example in fiction of gross-ass weirdos getting girls way beyond their means.

Did Nick and The Rock ever bury the hatchet? That actually happened in Book 2. Nick realized that The Rock had mistaken him for a dealer in his old hood, took him to meet the dude, then saved his life when The Rock tried to flex and almost got got. The experience taught The Rock to know his role and shut his mouth, otherwise someone might lay the smack down on his roody-poo candy ass.

But Maria’s stuck paralyzed, right? No, actually. She’s been in the rehab facility learning to walk again. But she didn’t tell anybody because her plan was to gather the gang together, stand up and walk across the room, and see who looked most guilty or upset to figure out who’d sabotaged the float. Turned out that she was at least able to get the gun from Polly, but by then her plan was already tits-up. Also: she’s going to marry Nick at the same time Bubba and Clair get married, so she doesn’t get deported! Yay immigration laws!

What about Sara and Russ? They’re working through their bullshit. It seems that even though Sara is totally head over heels for this dude, she can’t ever just say so, and takes it for granted that he wants her too and understands her snark. Which he doesn’t! I mean, he does want her, but when she’s jokingly mean to him he takes it at face value and assumes he’s off her short list. They finally manage to have a conversation about it, but us adults know we can’t magically fix everything by talking once.

Was anybody actually hurt by the bomb? Well, Jessica broke her arm in the explosion, and The Rock was trapped in the engine room but managed to swim out the hole and get to safety. Otherwise, everyone was fine, thanks to (get this) Kats. This wasn’t entirely altruistic, though; he was going to prank everyone into the lifeboats by setting smoke bombs and making them think the ship was going down. Fortunately (?), this happened just before Polly’s big badaboom, so Kats comes out a hero.

Wait a sec – if Sara lost the money in Book 2, how did they pay for all this shit? Gambling! Bubba is a lifelong Lakers fan, and the night of the party is also Game 7 of the NBA finals. He put a bet on the game that would be big enough to cover the student government’s debts for the entire year, including this cruise. Alas, the Lakers lose on a desperation 3-pointer that clangs off the rim. It’s a good thing Bubba bet on the Celtics.

And with that, we’re through Pike’s first multi-book series. Confusing? Convoluted? Not really – more like a soap opera where you have to keep track of multiple storylines to get the whole picture. It’s got its problems, but it continues to do that Pike thing of reaching for something more than most teen books gave us at the time, and so I’m going to keep on reading.

[onthisdayswift]

I am so pissed. The fact that she has to ask other people to fight for her because she can’t. Scott and Scooter what happened to burying the hatchet, to being the “bigger person” (we knew all along you weren’t), to praising Lover, saying she is an amazing artist and that supporting is always the better option. She wants to perform the songs SHE made. The songs you aren’t a part of in any way. Also for you to go on Big Machine’s website and say you aren’t refusing her to perform at the AMAs and filming the Netflix documentary is bullshit. She never said you are refusing her the right to perform, you are refusing her the right to perform her OLD songs.

I am so happy that Selena, Abigail, Claire, Halsey and other friends of Taylor decided to speak out and support her. One thing I want to know is where are some of her other friends that she is constantly supportive of but the gesture is not returned. Where is Shawn who is on the Lover remix that was released just a few days ago. Where is Ed that she is always supportive of. Also saying that you suport her behind the scenes just won’t cut it this time. She clearly said in the post that she wants you to PUBLICLY support her and to speak out about it. You are choosing to be her friends only when it is beneficial to you. I think that @taylorswift should take this and see who her real friends are. It doesn’t matter if you have 100 million followers or 100 followers because every body’s voice matters

15/11/2019 Taylor posted these photos to her Instagram story