#because no job = no insurance
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I'm really so fucking anxious when I don't have a job, even if I have billions on my bank account, I want to cry...
#because no job = no insurance#even if you're a medical student - u can't registrate to any government hospital and have a family doctor until you get a job#and without a family doctor you basically cannot have a free medical check-up#and private clinics cost like crazy#one simple pulmonologist consultation without any additional tests -> 70 euros#the thing is that most students here have parents here which somehow lets them attend the doctors for free.. but me? nope :)))#LET ME IN LET ME INNNMMM#and you need to work for at least 6 months in order to EVEN GET A STATUS OF āUNEMPLOYEDā AAAA#and no one gives a shit if you also study#seriously you better never be ill in Europe#there is no fucking way for you to SIMPLY survive without corruption and connections#If you wanna be ill - go to Ukraine
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I don't really know how to express it in a way that doesn't make me cringe and delete but I Am Not Okay right now
Trying to tell myself it could be much worse but damn does that not make me feel better. I don't want to whine because it could be much worse and I should be grateful it's not but going through it while having my first PMDD episode in months is not helping me think properly!
#eve rambles#pmdd#i feel kind of insane#i feel bad complaining about having to pay out of pocket for dental care because i do have savings which can cover it#but i don't have a way to the dentist as there's no transit so im gonna have to call a cab/uber#don't have time off work so lost wages while i go to the dentist#but like i have savings so it's not like i can't go#i feel ungrateful because so many people don't have savings and past me ws screwed and lost a tooth because i couldn't afford it#now im just rambling but i feel bad for wishing i had pto sometimes because i don't have a hard job so i should be happy to be employed#i don't deal with the public and i am making more than i ever had by a lot#but it's contract work with no options for insurance benefits or stability#but so many people work jobs were they don't make enough to live and get treated poorly#so who am i to complain about anything
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Yesterday was Sparta's gotcha day and by extension my 10 year mark as a dog owner. I'd never had responsibility for a dog before, hadn't grown up with dogs, didn't know what I was in for, and certainly had no idea how far this little dog would take me.
#i wont put the whole weight of my mental health on an animal - that wouldnt be fair to her#but 10 years ago i was sad and isolated and i spent my dads life insurance payout on a puppy. unsure if it was responsible because i had#no job no plans no ambitions and definitely no intention of living all the way to 30#i turned 31 last month.
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I need at least $30 to be able eat anything at all today
Could anyone help me at all
PayPal.me/vvaite
#I canāt afford long term groceries and I donāt get mutual aid to pay my bills or rent#and my job didnāt pay me my last paycheck#basically Iām dying the past few months#no insurance or snap either because the govt is incompetent
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These two would [flipping] hate each other, someone's gonna loose a hand at the very very least each time they see each other.
explosions happen often.
#mtt#mettaton#undertale mtt#box mettaton#original art#art#uty#undertale#uty axis#axis 014#axis014#these two would rip eachother apart if given the motivation#NOT a ship#also i didnt notice til i looked at a ref that MTT has 4 lil dials not 3#fuck#soooryyy#the idea of axis being hired by MTT is so silly#its only because thats the only job that offers breakdown insurance#poor alphys having to glue these two back together every day
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guess who just received. a. job offfeerrrrrrrr.
#excited for employment but also#mourning my unemployment era#this is good because. like. i need a job to survive#but also like. aw man i gotta work? sigh#start date forthcoming lmao#if i can just get past the shitty āah fuck no fucking health insuranceā bullshit era it'll be. ok#personal
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Every time I hear that one viral audio thatās like
āBabe, come back to bed!ā
āNot now, Darling, Iām not done with my online banking.ā
āFUCK, thatās so hot!!ā
āThatās why I do it.ā
I always think of Paulkins and Lautski and I canāt figure out which it fits more lmao
#hatchetfield#starkid#where is this audio from#paul matthews#emma perkins#stephanie lauter#peter spankoffski#paulkins#lautski#it could be more Lautski because Steph is sapiosexual and finds his nerdy shit hot#or it could be Emma because in Forever and Always Emdroid says itās a turn on that he stays at the job he hates for health insurance#it just depends on what brand of pathetic you decide it is I guess
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I am really tired of a situation rn.
#fe three houses#felix hugo fraldarius#me using felix on my angy days because he is my angersona? you bet!#anyway if you want to try to get someones money or something bc you hurt your own car banging into mine#can you try to be a bit more timely with it buddy come on you hit me on feb29 !#why am i getting your insurance company calling me today !#also i would like to point out i didnt do it and neither of us were hurt and i filed a claim with my own insurance comp#and also filed a police report bc he didnt even suggest calling the cops to the scene#so like yeah hey man maybe you and your insurance company can move a lil faster or smth#literally everything that happened the day of is - according to my dad - an intimidation tactic#i look like im 15 and he probably thinks he can take advantage of a new driver but ya know! tough luck!#im just really tired and stressed over multiple things not negative so getting this on top of it was like#bro .................... anyway my phone didnt pick up for some reason so i called back and then nothing got resolved#cause the person who actually called me wasnt around to connect the line to from the guy who answered#idk man just its a lot despite my v minimal energy#got a job interview on monday tho ! and then also next week is an eye exam#and you might be thinking isnt that a good thing to get your eyes checked? you are correct but i am horrified#there are two body parts that give me absolute anxiety and eyes are one of them#and i know my eye sight is declining and im just v anxious#its fine im going to be fine i just have to be anxious about it
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i feel like if i'm going to be digitizing material about the holocaust i should be being paid enough to afford a health insurance plan that has better coverage than the $7250 out-of-pocket minimum i have to meet before any of my coverage kicks in
#the only plan offered that isn't a high-deductible plan is Five Hundred Dollars A Month.#guess who my insurer is also š#i can't hash out gender shit because i can't afford therapy. i can't hash out depression shit because i can't afford therapy.#i can't work out the secondary trauma THE MATERIAL OF MY JOB GIVES ME. because. i can't. afford. therapy.
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my religion teacher keeps misgendering the holy spirit and it feels weird every time he does it
#ok fiiiine it's actually unclear what gender the holy spirit is because it's referred to using many different genders throughout languages#but i argue he/him is the LEAST correct set of pronouns#i'm partial to it/they#also my chem teacher keeps saying āby show of handsā when she means āraise your handsā and nobody's telling her she has it wrong#my aforementioned religion teacher also keeps confidently rmteaching religious tradition as fact#my alg teacher was a rush hire who only took the job for the health insuranceā was senileā and left due to health complications a month in#this school is a mess#existenceunrelateds#the holy spirit uses neos i think#xe/xyr
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Hi. . . So I really need money for rent.
If you can't donate could you please reblog, I don't want to be homeless at 19. It'll help me so so so so much if you could at least donate like 5 bucks per follower. I'll do customs too if you want, just please anything.
#desperate#in need of money#I work two jobs and can't afford this shit#This month because I had a surprise claim made against my insurance
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had one of theā¦worst days ever. truly a weak finale to age 25! do not recommend.
#itās probably selfish but I do hope someone draws something for me tomorrow :ā)#art is like the best thing ever when its gifted bc it means so much but i know its a lot to ask#anyway ill probably spend my 26th at home playing video games and trying to forget how lame the world is#then i have to go look for a job and buy insurance because today the job i went to turned out to not be as advertised :/#wasted a lot of money to figure that out too#nonsense#and lots of complaining#apologies
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I know I've promised to share the Naruto meta analyzing key aspects of the series through several academic lenses that I've been writing, and I have shared the rough draft of the introduction. I'm posting this to let anyone who's been waiting for it know that I'm going to have to take an indefinite hiatus. I need to focus on my health, which has rapidly been declining, with no answers. All of the tests and specialists I've been through; MRIs, CT scans, ultrasounds, bloodwork (a LOT of bloodwork), urine testing, everything. I've been to a rheumatologist, a neurologist, a gastro surgeon; hell, the emergency room several times. I was fired from a job I really liked because I was missing too many days due to health issues. I had to withdraw from college due to my health. Everything is coming back normal, but my health worsening is NOT normal. I can barely even get out of bed without throwing up or needing to almost immediately lay back down because my heart feels like it's going to explode, so naturally, writing has not been my highest priority; hopefully you can understand.
#naruto#naruto meta#health issues#health problems#health#I'm calling my gp tomorrow to get a referral to a cardiologist#I'm also looking into an immunologist#but the closest one is like 2 hours away#in a very large city that I'm not super familiar with#i have anxiety#i know i should probably go to the er about my heart#but I've been a few times before#because I've been having progressively worsening heart issues for years at this point#and I've had really awful experiences and treatment at the local hospital#i can't even ask an ambulance to take me to a different hospital#because my health insurance won't cover it#i already have ~$80k in medical debt#from a two-week hospitalization after going into a literal coma#us healthcare#us health system#finally when my mental health has improved significantly#my physical health takes a nosedive#I've had to drop out of college this semester#i got fired from my job because i was missing too much#fuck gamestop
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financial independence changed my whole outlook on life i really mean that. i will work my ass off and i will do it for MYSELF and it feels so rewarding to know that i dont have to answer to anyone about my time or money but ME. it gives me the motivation to do the best i can so i can give myself the best life possible u know
#talky cherub#JUST THINKIN ABOUT THIS#sometimes im so grateful for that 7 yr relationship ending because it forced me to take care of myself#well i mean. i have to answer to my job ALKFDLA but u kno what i mean. personal relationships. tjats what im referring to.#the other day#my mom was like . lecturing me abt something about my car and i was like gurl u dont pay my insurance. u cant tell me a thing#and she likes to tell me how to spend my money#DONT buy this DONT buy that#HELLO I HAVE A WHOLE BUDGET and u dont have access to my accounts . mind your business!#sorry for oversharing again <3#tmi cherub
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i'm so mad i don't have private insurance through an employer so i could get any kind of therapy or medication or anything. tags are a rambling rant
#i'm on medicaid bc i 1. got laid off 2. haven't found work 3. am disabled and verrrry few therapists accept insurance around me at all#let alone medicaid. i've only found one therapy group that takes it but the therapists there aren't very well equipped#for anything that doesn't respond well to the very basic frankly entry-level cbt coping mechanisms#and i have it IN my report from the psychologist who diagnosed me with autism and adhd that i should avoid typical anxiety therapies#because they're likely to only increase my anxiety. so now what do i do when that's the only therapy available to me and i know i need help#what really gets me is that i know in oregon a ton of great therapists who won't push cbt on me take medicaid#and i also have my family there. and my dad owns his own business and employs family. and i need a job so bad#because i need to feel like i'm contributing to the world and that i have value and that the world wants me#it's sooooooo demotivating getting a ton of job interviews but never getting hired for anything on a base level for like confidence#but it also really sucks because i Know i ramble during interviews because i don't trust i can answer the question right#but i know i could do the job so well if someone would just let me. like i feel like i need to beg people to give me a chance#because i'm literally like. that top performing promotable improves everything employee. every time. no matter where i am#and i feel like no one believes me. that no one is ever going to want me to work for them. because i'm the type of person who should be#kept away from the world. idk it feels like humanity's rejected me. and i just feel so sorry.#i just want a psychiatrist who takes my insurance. and a therapist who takes my insurance. and work to do to feel valuable#but there are so many barriers. and i'm so tired. i seriously need so much more support than i'm going to get#and approaching all of this with the realization that i'm autistic now just makes it like. oh. i NEED support. and i'm not going to get it#moving back to oregon's off the table and i don't think my family would be as willing to help as i hope they'd be#so i'm stuck here. what do i even do. i feel like i have nowhere to turn#it's like life's decided it's done with me. i feel so worthless i'm so scared
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was gonna make a little "if you enjoy my glitter & blinkies, send me a tip for my bday" post ...
but also the relative who'd agreed to help me with rent & college costs backed out because she doesn't want me to transition. AND my delivery of groceries & cleaning supplies was just stolen š®āšØ so help is super extra appreciated rn. I'm having dismally bad luck job hunting.
kofi or throne (you can send stuff directly to me through this + it has a wishlist. Brita filter & food are most important!)
venmo is Grubcore
#scared š#trans#mutual aid#not to over share on glitter blog#my aunt who HAD agreed to cover rent if i got into college isn't giving me any money because she's afraid I'll use it to transition š„²#I had no clue she was THAT transphobic and it's really just. miserable. she always said she'd cover college costs#but finding out right while I'm trying to apply for classes that I'm going to have to do this all on my own#is like a pit in my stomach#hopefully the college will help me find a job they have resources to help w that but i have no clue how long it'll take#scared. sad#my bday was last week btw not today#Also I need contact lenses and my insurance won't cover them! it's like $90 minimum ew. plus wtv solution costs#job hunting while disabled & trans šµāš«
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