#because lets pause and use some actual logic here. are you telling me you dont think poc can have wants? only white people can have desires?

[desirtips]

The paraphilia thing is so funny from that anon. Do they realize they're technically categorized as intrusive thought disorders lmao. Even then it's something you can get help for (despite being unable 2 "cure" it)

I bet you're still ableist !!!!! By the way I hate people with disorders for a reason that is very specifically the disorder even if the person has never brought harm apon another !!!! You ableist freak!!!!!

[writingonsaturn]

Better Unsaid

a/n okay this has been all over the place!! it was originally going to be a blurb and darker and closer to smutty (so keep your eyes out for that??? lol), but then I made it softer and the concept got away from me and it got soooo much longer than expected lmao and i still dont love where it ended so maybe part 2?? i have the idea i just dont know lol 

summary: Reader is a princess and Anakin has been her guard during the most public season for the past two years (not the most logical thing but just go with it lol, it gets explained better in the fic) and after a near death experience the two are conveniently forced into a....

ONE BED TROPE ONE BED TROPE *cough cough* ONE BED TROPE WITH ONE PERSON HAVING TO WAKE UP THE OTHER BC THEYRE HAVING A NIGHTMARE,, :)))))))

  --

His smugness is the only thing about him I can consider ‘ugly’. And because I am so desperate to not have feeling for Anakin, the Jedi who has been assigned to protect me through coronation season (which lasts for most of winter), for the last two coronation seasons, I hold onto my distaste for that side of him. Which is why I suppress my laugh as he waits for my reaction with that confident smile. 

“Come on, that was funny.” 

Rolling my eyes, I let myself sit on my bed. I can’t tell if he’s actually funny or if my evening has been so boring that his sense of humor has started to become appealing to me due to comparison. In short, the suitor I was forced to spend an entire evening with lacked personality so much I’m starting to find Anakin funny.

“You’re much more entertaining than this evening’s suitor.” 

Anakin’s expression shifts slightly, his assured grin dropping slightly. “Another miss?” 

“You have no idea.” I relax slightly, taking a moment to be glad that I completed my father’s request and now I can just enjoy the time I have with Anakin. “I know my father’s desperate to make sure my marriage is useful for our people and that he worries about this selection process because he always thought my mother would be here to help, but sometimes I wish he wouldn’t rush it so much. It feels like all he wants me for is to marry me off in exchange of finance or weaponry or something diplomatic.” 

“You’re more than that.” His response is so soft I think I might have missed it if I needed it less. I curse myself for feeling so validated by him. His words shouldn’t mean anything to me. After all, he could easily just be saying that because agreeing with my father will just make me more unpleasant to be around. 

I smile politely while avoiding his eyes. I keep my hands on either side of me, fighting the urge to fidget. “Thank you, Anakin.” My words sound weak in my own ears, so I’m sure he notices my shift in mood. “I’m tired today, I think I’m going to go to bed early.” Normally, I’d be able to shrug off these kinds of things, but the beginning of Coronation Season makes me irritable. The anniversary of my mother’s death hits me harder each year. 

“Y/n.” My name comes out so velvety I can’t find it in myself to interrupt him. “You are more than someone meant to be used as some kind of royal currency, and I mean that as more than just a...friend.” 

I let his last word linger. We’ve tried so many titles that never seem to fit right. He’s the chosen one, one of the most powerful Jedi to exist, and the Jedi assigned to protect me each Coronation Season because that’s when my mother was assassinated. He’s my guard, but we’ve spent too many nights laughing together and talking about everything and anything. And I guess now he’s my friend, even though sometimes when he looks at me in a certain way or sits too close to me or reaches for my hand to guide me somewhere I can’t breathe right. 

“Anakin, you know I love when you’re here, even though sometimes you drive me insane. And I appreciate your kindness, but your words can’t change the truth. That’s how my father sees me and he’s not exactly wrong. I’m not a son, I haven’t been raised to lead an army or lead much, and--” 

“I’ve seen you in meeting after meeting, convention after convention. I’ve witnessed the way you handle real problems and I know how you care about your people. You’d make a great leader, you don’t need a husband to be valuable.” 

My chest swells, feelings I never let myself think about mixing with thoughts of Anakin that I’ve spent so long trying to avoid. “That settles it, you’re my favorite person.” 

He grins, the look warm enough to melt the odd lump in my throat. I fight down a smile as he steps forward. “And I wasn’t before?” 

“I take it back--your head’s big enough without the additional praise.” 

Rolling my eyes, I lean back slightly in order to recreate the distance he so easily destroyed. “And I thought you had finally warmed up to me, princess.” 

The use of my title makes me skeptical. The last time Anakin used it was when he was trying to ease me so that I’d walk around the palace garden so he had an excuse to do the same. It was beyond late and I was half asleep, but he had os much energy he was desperate and just needed to do one more thing. I felt bad that his schedule revolved so heavily around mine (and when he softens his eyes and says please, I’m left incapable of saying the word ‘no’) so I agreed. 

“What do you want?” 

Anakin dramatically clutches a hand over his heart. He throws his head back slightly as if he’s just taken a fatal blow. “When did you turn so cynical? I’ve been back for three days and I’m starting to believe you’re a different person now.” 

Yeah...he’s definitely getting ready to ask for something that’s more trouble than it’s worth. Then again, everything with him seems to be worth it in some capacity. Even if it’s just that one smile he gets when he’s truly content and doesn’t think anyone’s looking. 

“Mhm,” I mumble, still fighting a grin, “so you’re not going to ask me anything?” 

His lips part slightly as he exhales. I watch the way his eyes narrow at my victorious expression. “I don’t have anything to ask of you, but I do have a small request. A request so small you won’t have to do anything but say yes.”

Suspicious. Too easy. “You’re unbelievable.” 

“You just said I was your favorite person. Remember that.” 

I’m too tired for his coyness. I’d rather him make his ridiculous request now so that I can be in bed within the hour. Though I can’t pretend I don’t normally feel better after letting him drag me along on whatever ‘adventure’ he just needed to complete while also not letting me out of his sight. I used to tell him that I wouldn’t tell anyone if I wasn’t under supervision for an hour or two a day, but he dismissed the idea immediately. That’s been the cornerstone of everything. 

“What is it?” 

He sighs once, tilting his head slightly. The way his eyes soften tells me he’s already won at least half the battle. “They still haven’t caught the attempted--” Anakin pauses, something behind his eyes darkening. I know what he’s remembering. Last night, an assassin had gotten closer than they ever had. I had almost been shot in the garden, Anakin had barely pushed me to the ground in time. A fact he’s been beating himself up for since, especially considering that no one has been able to find my attempted killer yet. “They were so close to you. They were within palace limits and they disappeared like they never existed. Who’s to say they don’t work here and are waiting for the next moment you’re exposed? Who’s to say they aren’t here tonight, waiting for me to retire for the night?” 

I didn’t realize how my near death experience had been so personal to him. He, like everyone else, was beyond frantic after it happened. But my father put an end to verbal worry before it could truly begin. He said the best thing we could do was act like everything was fine as the assailant was searched for. Anakin hadn’t been particularly cheery after my father instructed the guards to focus their search on known enemies instead of prioritizing venting the staff closest to me. I comforted him as best as I could, but he didn’t feel like speaking about it and I had to worry about the suitor meeting my father wouldn’t let me cancel. 

“Anakin, you’re right next door to me.” I have to fight the urge to reach for him. “I was fine because of you, and I will be fine because of you.” 

He sighs once, his expression not easing. “And if the person is silent? The attacker could easily work in the palace, but no one wanted to direct the search inwards.” His words are more strained than I’ve ever heard them be. “I think it’d be smart for me to stay in here. I know you’ve refused having a guard stay in your room or outside your door, but...” Anakin sighs. “Your safety would be more assured.” 

Him staying in my room? The only line I’ve ever been allowed to draw, and I’m actually considering letting that go. If he seemed even slightly less sad, I wouldn’t even consider it. It’s not a good idea. I’m already too attached to him. “Anakin--” 

“I’d feel more assured.” 

Damn him. Stupid, extremely sweet Anakin who makes saying no to him impossible. I stretch my arm forward, letting my hand squeezes his forearm gently. “There’s no reason to not feel assured.” He doesn’t ease, the cloudiness behind his eyes remains stubborn. “You’re still worried.” No reaction, the haze that’s taken him isn’t letting go. “Fine--but tell no one or my father is going to take to posting guards at my door every night.” 

...I guess there are worse ways to spend a night. Which is kind of a problem since I’m trying to...enjoy Anakin less. Ugh, I even sound dumb in my head. “I promise, princess.” 

Ugh, he’s adorable. “You’re intolerable.” I stand from he foot of my bed and pull back the covers on my bed. He doesn’t reply, something dark still playing for him. I watch him move to face the door. Wait--is he doing what I think he’s doing? “No, you’re not going to stand there all night. You need sleep.” He has the audacity to give me an annoyed look. “I already didn’t want to do this so now you have to listen to my conditions.” 

He raises an eyebrow, his lips pressing together oddly. He’s trying to gauge something from my expression, perhaps he’s looking for buttons to press to get his way. I guess I look as stubborn as I feel because instead of arguing he just sits on the floor. What? I watch him cautiously, trying to figure out if this is some weird argument trick. 

“What are you doing?” 

“What you asked.”

And just like that I’ve put myself in a position that I will no doubt regret terribly the second common sense returns to me. There’s no way to deny that Anakin and I are closer than we probably should be. We’ve felt like friends first since the day we first met. I can’t think of any reason to not offer to let him sleep in my bed except those stupid budding feelings I refuse to label. 

It’s not like I actually like him. I can’t--I’m going to be married to some nobleman and he’s prohibited from ever forming attachments. I’m not even sure if we’re allowed to be friends. Having actual feelings for him would be so, so pointless. It would just lead to heartache and the ruining of the one genuine relationship I have. I’m just a tiny bit confused right now because he’s objectively really attractive and he’s always there for me. Always there to make a joke after a particularly rough meeting. Always there to offer me a supportive smile. Always there to humble me when I teeter on acting like my father. 

Anyone’s heart would flutter at that, so it doesn’t mean anything. And if it does, I need to squash any budding feelings now before I mess things up. Which is why I should keep him at arm’s length until I get it together. But is that fair to him? And what if doing that is making things worse? What if it’s just reinforcing the idea of having feelings? 

This is ridiculous. I’m going to get over this if it kills me. It’s just a bed and it’s only sleeping. I’m meant to be able to lead an entire union and I can’t sleep next to someone and act normal?” “You don’t have to sleep on the floor.” 

The second the words leave my mouth I regret it all. What’s wrong with me? Did I seriously think I’d be okay?

I hear his soft exhale, “I’ll be fine. I’ve slept in worse places than on your marble floor.” 

His voice sounds so weighted I can’t help but feel bad for not noticing that he’s still bothered. Whether he’s upset about his near miss or the fact that my father didn’t take his advice, I don’t know. But something’s wrong. The easy thing to do would be to just let him sleep it off. The smart thing to do would be to leave him alone until tomorrow. 

I think of all the times that I’ve been upset and Anakin had refused to let me go to sleep angry or sad or overwhelmed. “I know, but it’s really not a big deal. It’s not like we don’t know each other. I mean, last Coronation Season you buttoned me into more gowns than my handmaid. And I owe you for saving me from one of the worst suitors I’ve ever had.” 

“I’m starting to think we need to develop some kind of signal.” 

The tiny bit of lightness that’s returned to his voice makes all of my internal struggle feel worth it. “You always seem to know.” 

“That’s because when you’re reaching your limit, that one line appears between your eyebrows.”

I didn’t realize I had such a tell. I try to remember the way that the suitor drawled on and on about how amazing he was and how he couldn’t wait for the day he had a bride to bear his children and plan (tedious) social events. My hand moves to my forehead, trying to feel the crease Anakin mentioned. Can everyone tell when I’m growing tired? Am I that transparent? 

Anakin’s slight laugh steals my attention. He’s facing me again, his elbow holding his head up on the foot of my bed. “What are you doing?” 

“I don’t--I don’t think i get a crease between my eyebrows when I’m irritated.” 

I hear him stand. I don’t realize he’s approaching me until he’s so close I could touch him without even needing. to stretch. “No, when you’re irritated you raise your eyebrows slightly, because that’s when you’re at your most sarcastic.” 

“Really?” 

The corner of his mouth tugs upwards. “Just like that.” I force myself to keep my expression blank. “When you’re reaching your limit, your eyebrows crease here.” His finger taps the space between my brows so gently I almost don’t realize what he’s doing. “And when you’re trying not to laugh--which is often, because you refuse to admit that I’m funny--you press your lips together in a way that forms a dimple here.” The knuckle of his pointer finger brushes against the bottom of my cheek. 

I bite my tongue to fight the warmth spreading across my face. “I didn’t realize i was so transparent.”

“I can’t always tell what you’re thinking.” 

“I’ll take it.” Maybe if I was less tired, I’d argue a little more. “You know you’re not that difficult to read either.” 

“Really?” 

“Yes, I can tell when you’re just being stubborn for the sake of it. I can see it in your eyes and you’re doing it right now.” 

His expression harshens slightly before softening. “Y/n--” 

“I’m not wrong.” 

He sighs once, stepping back. I watch him pace around my bed before taking a seat on the edge of my other side of the bed. “Are you happy now?” 

“Happy that I won? Absolutely.” 

Anakin halfheartedly glares at me. “Careful, add a crown and a robe that trails down a throne and I’d feel like I was speaking to your father.” 

“Careful, another side comment like that and I’ll ‘accidentally’ kick you off the bed in the middle of the night.” 

“Not if I kick you off the bed first.” 

I trace a thoughtless pattern on the fabric of my bedsheets. “What are you? Twelve?” 

“I’m older than you.” 

“Barely.” I continue the thoughtless pattern tracing as I fight the sleep from my eyes. “Your comebacks are usually more creative than that.” 

He exhales, relaxing slightly as he rests his back against a pillow. “I’m tired, like you claimed to be.” His eyes flutter slightly, a bit of his exhaustion showing. “Go to sleep.” 

I should. I’m too old to think I can put off a tomorrow I don’t want by just staying up. This is stupid. I’m too old to think I can put off the anniversary of my mother’s death by going to bed. She had been taken from us on castle grounds, killed by a revolutionist who viewed my mother as a class traitor. I still remember the way she slumped to the ground, her blood staining the snow beneath her. I remember the way the guards were so busy chasing her killer no one thought to keep me away from the body. 

“Y/n?” 

I scratch the back of my arm in hopes of banishing my thoughts. “Yes?” 

“You’re being quiet.” 

“You said to go to sleep, that tends to be a quiet thing.” 

I can feel his eyes on me. “Since when do you listen to me?” Not trusting myself to actually reply, I only offer him a hum of acknowledgement. “I know you’re not half asleep.” 

Folding my hands on my lap, I avoid his gaze. “It’s tomorrow.” 

I don’t know why I trust him to understand my vague response, but I do. His silence stretches over us like a thin blanket on a cold night. Maybe he doesn’t understand what I’m implying. I can always correct him tomorrow, when my eyelids are no longer as heavy as my heart. The more seconds that pass in total silence, the more I think that maybe he’s fallen asleep. 

I wouldn’t be surprised, Anakin has seemed tired recently, like some additional weight he won’t share with anyone has been thrust onto his shoulders. A small part of me rolls in guilt. I need to be a better friend, just because I’m suddenly a little too aware of him doesn’t mean I can shrug him off and ignore him. 

My hand almost flinches away from the feeling of something surprisingly warm touching my pinky. When I realize that it’s just Anakin and that the contact was probably accidental, I force myself to ease. It’s not like we’ve never touched before, I don’t understand why I’m making it weird. Sitting in my bed in the dark doesn’t change anything. His hand turns slightly, pressing into mine a little more assuredly. Biting my tongue, I turn my hand slightly, exposing my palm. And just like that, our fingers intertwine. 

“She would have been proud of you.” His voice comes out so low I barely register the words. 

The words shouldn’t mean much to me--he never knew my mother and has no way to know what she wanted me to be.--and yet I find comfort in them. I smile, turning my head towards him. “You didn’t even know her.” 

He rolls his eyes slightly, relaxing further before squeezing my hand once. “Who wouldn’t be proud of you? You’re kind and smart and decent to be around when you’re not telling me what to do.” 

My heart swells in my chest so much I’m surprised it doesn’t burst. Could he be cuter? “Yeah...now I’m sure you’re my favorite person.” 

“Now you’re sure?” 

The smugness in his voice has me rolling my eyes. “Don’t make me regret saying that.” 

“Maybe in the morning,” he says easily, “now go to sleep. There’s nothing worse than escorting you from meeting to meeting while you’re tired.” 

“I’m not that bad.” Even in this darkness, I can make out the way he raises an eyebrow. “Shut up--I’m going to sleep, but not because of you.” 

He lets out a slight huff. “You’re impossible.” 

The desire to respond to his comment is not enough for me to win the fight against the weight of my eyelids. The moment my eyes shut, I feel powerless to anything that isn’t sleep. I let myself fall into a weightless sleep, my only tether being the Anakin’s fingers around mine. 

--

A distant noise yanks me from my sleep. I’m too drowsy to do anything but register the sound. I hear another similar...whine? cry? I can’t tell and I’m too asleep to figure it out. I almost fall asleep again, but a third distressed sound keeps me from it. I wipe my eyes lazily with the back of my hand as I try to sit up. 

Squinting, I make out a figure on my bed. It takes me a moment to remember Anakin and how I fell asleep. Our hands are still together and no light is peering through my window so it can’t be that long since I fell asleep. Another disgruntled sound carries itself throughout the room. I shift slightly, leaning over Anakin cautiously. 

Golden brown curls are beginning to stick to his forehead and his eyebrows are drawn together sharply. He’s having a nightmare.  I shift even further forward before cautiously placing a hand on his shoulder before squeezing him gently. 

“Anakin,” I whisper, “it’s not--it’s not real.” His eyebrows draw together even more harshly. I shake him a little more stubbornly. “Anakin, wake up--you’re having a ni--”

 My forearm is grabbed so suddenly I barely register it before I feel my back shoved into my mattress. I blink twice. His dark eyes are frantic and the look on his face is far from the gentle, easygoing expression I’m used to. He’s breathing deeply, his chest rising and falling from above me. I swallow a slight panic and something I don’t understand as I try to keep my eyes on his face and my thoughts away from how close he is. Anakin pries his fingers from my forearm one by one until only his palm is touching me. 

“Y/n, I--” 

“It’s okay.” Honestly, I’m more worried about his uneven breathing than the way he grabbed me. I can’t imagine everything he’s been through or how justified his nightmares are. Anakin moves his hand away from me. I don’t sit up until he’s off of me and sitting with his back against my headboard. “It’s okay--I just--you were having a nightmare and I thought I should wake you.” He doesn’t react. I turn my body further, keeping my back straight. Anakin doesn’t move, and the longer he stays still, the more I feel like I should say something else. “Do you want talk about it? Or do--do you want to talk about something else? Or go to sleep? Or get some water? Or--” The far off look behind his eyes silences me. I scoot forward slightly. “You’re okay, Anakin, I promise.” 

His head turns at that, his eyes searching mine for something I don’t understand. “I thought...” He cuts himself off by swallowing once. 

I shift a little more, trying to find anything normal in his expression. “Thought what?” 

Anakin’s hand is on my arm so quickly I don’t even register his movement. I let his fingers press into my skin. He’s holding onto me like I’m a figment of a dream and he’s beginning to wake up. “I thought I’d failed.” He exhales, the sound heavy. “Failed you and that you’d--I  thought I had lost you.” 

A lump rises in my throat, thick and unmoving. Cautiously, I place my hand over the one still gripping my shoulder like a lifeline. “You didn’t. Nothing happened, it was just a dream.” 

His gaze falls to the ground before he repeats the last of my words. “Just a dream.” There’s a hollowness to his voice I don’t understand. 

I exhale, carefully running my thumb over his knuckles. “Yes.” He doesn’t say anything but his expression hardens again. I let us sit there like that for a long minute. “I promise.” 

“You can’t promise things like that.”

I sigh, unsure of where to go from here. “Bad dreams are only bad dreams.” He doesn’t reply. “I think you should try to get some more sleep.” 

Anakin is unresponsive. I shift back, but before I can transition from almost being on top of him to just sitting next to him, he pulls on my arm to keep in place. “I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to you.” 

“Nothing’s going to happen to me.” 

“You almost died today, y/n. I was right there and if I had been a second later--” 

“But you weren’t.” He doesn’t ease. “You were there and I was fine. Don’t torment yourself over what could have been. You’ll drive yourself crazy.” 

“If anything ever happened to y--” 

“It’s not going to,” I whisper, ignoring the way his hold on my arm tightens even further, “Especially this time a year when I have a pretty good gau--” 

He tilts his head slightly, eyebrows drawing together and a ghost of a smile on his lips. “Pretty good? Really?” 

“Someone needs to watch your ego, chosen one.” This time when he tries for a smile, the look has some strength behind it. Relief pools in my stomach. “Now get some sleep, tomorrow’s a busy day and when you’re sleepy you’re beyond irritable.”  

Anakin lets me pull away enough to lay down, but he doesn’t follow. Not for a long second. When he does, his movements are impossibly rigid. I watch him out of the corner of my eye as carefully as I can manage. 

“Y/n?” 

I regret turning my head immediately. I didn’t realize how close he was. It would take no effort from me to make our lips meet. Wait--why am I thinking of that? I’m not allowed to think of stuff like that...especially not about him. 

“Yes?”

He lets out a breath before moving his hand. I don’t understand his hesitation until I feel his hand cupping my cheek gently. “What if next time I’m not enough? What if next time I lose you because I’m not strong enough?” 

I never thought my death would be such a personal thing to him. Sure, I knew that we had some kind of bond, some kind of friendship, and that my death would bring sadness. But I never imagined I’d matter enough to him that thoughts of my death would be frightening enough to slip into his subconscious and become a thing of nightmares. 

“You are enough. Nothing is going to happen to me and if it does it’s not going to be because of you.” Anakin’s lips press together in a way that implies serious uncertainty. His thumb brushes across my cheek so unexpectedly I almost ask him what he’s doing. The intensity behind his eyes is enough to burn me. “Was your dream really that bad?” 

He lets out an uncertain breath as his eyebrows draw together. I don’t miss the way his jaw clenches. “It’s more than the dream. I...y/n, princess,” he tacts on, a hint of humor returning to him, “you’re more than a mission to me.” 

The admission is so soft I can’t help but smile. “I know, Anakin, we’re--” 

“You’re more than a friend to me.” I don’t know if my blood freezes in my veins or if my lungs don’t contract when they should or if my heart literally skips a beat, but I know something in me completely stops at his words. “I--” 

“Don’t say it.” I don’t know how I managed to cut him off so sharply and I’m a little disappointed when I do, but it’s the right thing to do. Thought of the code that’s so important to him have clouded half the immense shock and joy swelling in my chest. “What you’re trying to say...I um, I want to say the same.” I try to drop my gaze but he tilts my head up slightly with his hand. “But we shouldn’t, you know that.” 

"You want to us to pretend that nothing’s different? You want me to escort you from meetings with one suitor to the next every Coronation Season until you’re married off?” 

“No, I’m not saying that. The point is that I’m not saying anything.” His eyebrows draw together in uncertainty. “Isn’t it enough for now, for both of us to just know? If we say it...that could mean bad things for you. And I don’t want to be a bad thing for you.” 

“You could never be.”

It’d be so easy to believe him. To believe him and to let him say what I never imagined I’d be able to hear and damn the consequences of tomorrow. “Can we just refrain from verbally saying anything until you’re sure?” 

“I’m sure right now. I’ve been sure since the first time we ever walked in the garden together. The night after the first Coronation Ball I escorted you to.” 

I remember that night well. The way he hadn’t scolded me for needing air or taking off my uncomfortably high heels to walk in the grass. “If you mean it, you won’t say it yet. I refuse to get in the way of what you’re meant for.”

His thumb runs my cheek entirely, stopping at the corner of my mouth. “Are you capable of not disagreeing with me?” 

Rolling my eyes slightly, I place my hand over his. “Probably not.” 

Anakin exhales, his playful irritation clear in the sound. “You’re impossible when you’re tired.” 

“I am not tired.” 

“I can see the sleep in your eyes.” 

“I can see it in yours too.” 

He pauses, eyebrows drawn together cautiously. “I’ll go to sleep if you do.”

He must be more tired than I thought if he’s compromising with me so quickly. “Deal.” 

Neither of us close our eyes for a long second, we just watch each other with wide eyes. It still doesn’t feel like he’s eased, but he’s come back to me so much more than he was earlier. I’ll make sure to check how he’s feeling in the morning. The first morning after we’ve...I don’t know. 

I’m trying really hard not to get excited because anything that’s been not said could be taken back so easily. That’s the point--but it’s hard not to let my heart get ahead of my rationality. I’ll just take the good for what it is for now and tomorrow we can figure out the rest. Even though he’s not allowed to form attachments and my father really wants to marry me off to foreign royalty.

Tomorrow. This can begin to be solved tomorrow. My eyes shut and I let myself roll fully onto my back. The second I’m comfortably settled, I feel Anakin shift against the bed. I’m too tired to open my eyes until I feel a weight placed against my chest. 

I open my eyes on instinct, less surprised than I should be when I see Anakin’s head resting against my chest. Before I can speak, I feel his arm rest against my side. “Anakin,” I breathe, my hand moving to smooth his hair out of his face the way I’ve wanted to for so long. “What did we just talk about?” 

“You said not to say anything,” he mumbles comfortably, “I’m not saying anything.” ...It is kind of the ideal compromise. Especially since I’m too tired to find reason and he feels so warm. “I can feel you overthinking. Go back to smoothing my hair before I have to rise and stand at your door so that your handmaid comes to wake you. Something tells me she’d be glad for the excuse to get rid of me.” 

That might be the most dramatic thing I’ve ever heard him say. Selma is the most patient woman in the palace. “Selma would never report anything involving me, I can’t believe you don’t like her. She’s the sweetest woman I’ve ever met.”  

“She’s the one that doesn’t like me,” he says, “she always watches me like she’s trying to figure out if I’m planning on stealing you away.” 

Too tired to fight my smile, I go back to smoothing his hair out with my fingers. After a moment, he lets out an exhale that relaxes his entire body. “Goodnight, princess.” 

“Goodnight.” The word is barely a mumble as I feel sleep tug against me for the second time tonight. 

It’s strange, but my excitement doesn’t diminish my tiredness, it just makes the prospect of rest feel so much fuller. Safer. Because there’s so much to sort out and grieve but it’s okay, because we have the time and everything feels okay because Anakin is here, right beneath my fingertips. 

[the-writers-reader]

Just Smile (George Weasley x Reader)

Requested by @aboutpotter awhile back.... Im just here doing some serious rewriting

Prompts used:

Dont just stand there looking at me

And

You're probably wondering how I got here

Enjoy!

--------

 If George could describe her in one word he would choose sullen. But in truth, it was just one out of many. Intelligent, conscientious, logical, anxious, beautiful, but sullen always came first. 

 The reason why: he had NEVER seen her smile. He had seen almost everyone at Hogwarts smile at least once. Even Snape. But never her. And he wondered why.  

Curious, he went to someone that would know the answer- (S/n). But all she did was sigh and say that things happen.

 That was the day he decided to make it his personal mission to make (Y/n) smile. But no matter how many pranks he pulled on her, or jokes, dirty or corny, the corners of their mouth never moved. Not even slightly.

 Since (S/n) wouldn’t tell him he decided to ask her directly. But the only response he got was the cold shoulder.

 As she walked away he yelled, “I  SWEAR TO YOU, BY TIME I'M OUT OF THIS HELL HOLE YOU WILL SMILE!”

 What reason did she have to smile in the first place? She could give you a long list of reasons not to smile. How about being a muggleborn in SLYTHERIN while her sister was chillin with the twins in Gryffindor to start you off? Or maybe the disappointed looks from the teachers? How about the constant looks of pure disgust from her fellow Slytherins? And that was just a few off the top of her head.

 George takes his seat at the Gryffindor table across from Fred and (S/n). Groaning, he lays his head down on the table with a ‘thud’.

“What’s wrong with you, George?” (S/n) asked, writing something down with Fred watching her paper intensely.

 He sets his chin on the table so he could look at her. “Your sister. How can someone go that long without smiling?”

“She’s had it rough.”

“So you have said. What exactly do you mean by that?”

 (S/n) sighs and sets down her quill. Neatly, she folds her hands on the table like she was getting ready to spill some dark shit. “She'll give you a lot of reasons. But I think the main reason is because her so called "friends" stabbed her in the back.”

 George was shocked but it was Fred that let it be known. “What! Why?”

“It’s not possible to be friends with a muggleborn and date someone in the same house as you.” The twins looked confused. (S/n) rolled her eyes. “Her friends ditched her so they could get dates.”

 The twins nodded their head, understanding. 

 Fred and (S/n) went back to eating (and in (S/n)s case- eating and writing) but George just stared at the table, thinking.

 Swiftly, he stood up and started walking off. 

“Where are you going?” (S/n) asked.

“I’ll be right back. I have to go do something.”

 Fred and (S/n) were sure he was leaving the Great Hall, but George had other plans.  

 The hall went silent as he approached the Slytherin table. There wasn’t even any chatter coming from the professors as they watched. George could feel several eyes on him but he could care less.

 (Y/n) looked up from her book to see why the hall had gone silent. Alarmed washed over her when she spotted George approaching her. 

 All attention was on the two of them now.

“What are you doing, Weasley?” she whisper-yelled.

“Weasley? And to think we were friends.” 

 That was enough to get a few people going. Whispers started to be exchanged throughout the Great Hall.

 (Y/n) scoffs, “I don’t need or want friends.” A series of “oooo”s traveled around the hall.

“Fine, but you need your family. Your sister needs you.” He lied.

 That caught the Slytherins attention. She loved her sister more than anything and they knew it. 

“Did she say why?”

 George bit back a smile. He knew he had her now. “She said it was important.”

 Sighing, (Y/n) gathered up their stuff and followed George. 

 The Hall went silent again to the point where you could hear a pen drop. 

 She sat down next to George and looked (S/n) in her confused eyes. “You have something important to tell me?” (Y/n) asked. 

 George suddenly grabbed her arm. She looked at him suspiciously but didn’t question it.

“Um,” she set her cup down and folded her hands. That was her thing- folding her hands before she spoke. Gave her time to think about what she was going to say. “No, but I assume that’s what George told you to get you over here.”

 (Y/n)’s jaw tightened in anger. She tried not to let it show but (S/n) noticed. 

“It is.”

“Oh, come on, (Y/n). Stop being such a grouch,” (S/n) sighed, rolling her eyes.

“Oh, so I’m a grouch now, eh?” (Y/n) retorted, raising her voice slightly.

 (S/n)s face softens. “No. It’s just- I haven’t seen a smile since the incident last year so-”

“So what, (S/n)? Maybe I don't have a reason to smile!” She stands up and slings her bag over her shoulder. With steam coming out of her ears, she leaves.

 George watches her, praying she'll turn around.

 She doesn't.

 A pang of guilt hits George. “Guys, I think I’m going to call it a night.”

“This early?” (S/n) asked. She may have been the most clueless person at this table but Fred knew that face anywhere. 

“Yeah, I, uh, actually have a big test tomorrow so I better turn in.”

 (S/n)s eyes went wide. “WE HAVE A TEST TOMORROW??!?!?!? BDJIBUDHIHYSFTDRTDFGH-” 

 Fred motioned to George to leave. He would take care of it.

 What a nerd. But they loved her anyway.

 George stopped to listen to what he was sure was voices around the corner. When he peeked around he saw what he was looking for. He also saw someone that wasn’t supposed to be there. Graham Montague.

“Get the hell off me, Montague!” (Y/n) shouted, trying to shove him away only for him to pin her roughly against the wall(FREEZE PERVERTS CAUSE THIS AINT WHAT YOU THINK).

“So you think it's okay to just shove us out of the way, mudblood? Show some damn respect to those above you. Now, I think it’s best if you apologize for what you did to my friend.”

 Now downright furious the girl makes a split second decision. (Or should I say spit-second decision?) Graham backs off a bit and wipes the spit off his face. Snarling, he backhands her causing her to drop her bag and fall to the ground.

“HEY!” George yelled gaining the attention of Graham and his friends.

 Now what?

“Oh, great, just what we need a Weasle-” 

 Graham stumbled back as George's fist makes contact with his nose. His eyes water profusely as blood start to run down his face.

“Never touch her again,” George growled, daring one of them to try to make a move.

 Graham scoffed and turned his snake like eyes towards (Y/n). His eyes burned into her before he turned on his heel and sauntered off, his friends hot on his heels.

 George turned to (Y/n) to ask if she was alright but before he could ask he noticed the tears welling in her eyes. Alarmed, George walks over and starts inspecting her, only for (Y/n) to push him away. 

“DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU JUST DID?” she scoffs, “no you don’t. You’ve just made my life hell is what you did. What they did just now was considered nice compared to what they’ve done to other people.”

“(Y/n), I was just trying to-”

“Oh, save it! We can’t all be heros, George. Just… just leave.” She turns her head away waiting for him to leave. But he doesn’t. “Well? What are you waiting for? Don’t just stand there looking at me! Leave!” 

 But George doesn’t budge.

“Why are you still here?!”

 George doesn’t know. Why is he still here? Instead of leaving he engulfs her in a hug. (Y/n) struggles but George was stronger and not to mention taller.

“Please don’t fight me.” His voice cracks. (Y/n) pauses.

 Was he seriously about to cry?

“Then let me go.” she hisses. 

 George obeys this time with a sigh. 

 With a sad expression and a broken heart, he watched her walk away.

-------

“I thought you were calling it a night.” (S/n) says with a confused face. 

 Her face goes to confusion to one of pure spite as George tells them exactly what happened.

“Well, I say we push him back.” Fred spits once George was done with his story.

“I doubt that would make it any better, Freddie.” (S/n) replied.

“Well, obviously, (S/n), that’s why I have a very well thought out plan," Fred announces, an evil grin crawling upon his face.

 Well that didn't take very long.

“Plan?”

“Yep! You see, Georgie and I found something last week. We looked at each other and thought ‘this could come in handy’ and it seems it will.”

 She looked between the twins confused. "Okay?"

 George smiled as he recalled what Fred was talking about. "You in, (S/n)?"

"Me?"

“Yes! You see, we have noticed that Graham Montauge has taken a special liking to you.” Fred states, venomously.

“Huh?”

“He fancies you,” George concluded.

“What? You’re joking right?” She asks, her cheeks heating up.

 The twins grin. 

 She looks between them again. “Ya know what, I don’t even want to know details, just tell me what I need to do.”

------

 Angry tears ran down (Y/n)s face as she stares at the wall, thinking about what happened. She couldn’t help but think that if she wouldn’t have left the table then she wouldn’t have ran into Graham and then none of this would have happened. 

 She was so caught up in her thought that she didn’t pay much attention when the other side of her bed dipped down. But she could care less. It was actually a bit comforting to know that at least some imaginary person at least cared.

 “Why can’t he understand that it would be easier for both of us if he just left me alone?” She asked the person as she stared down at her feet.

“Well it’s probably because you don’t even attempt to help him understand.”

 (Y/n) jumps up. She didn’t expect anyone to answer back.

 She turned around to find a tall figure with blazing red hair. And… in the girls dormitory? 

 She couldn’t make out which twin it was through her blurry vision but assumed it was Fred. George wouldn’t even consider sneaking up here after the way she had treated him. Right?

“You’re probably wondering how I got here.”

 She let out a shaky laugh. “Um, a little bit, yes.”

 He stared at her wordlessly. After no response, (Y/n) became slightly worried.

“Fred? You good there?”

 He snaps out of it. “Oh! Yeah!” Wait Fred? Oh! He guessed she can’t see because she was crying. “Uh, George told us about what Graham did so we cracked a plan.”

 She froze. "What did you do?" 

 As far as she knew, she could kiss her sister goodbye and say hello to her new home: her grave.

 George laughed a bit at her alarm before recounting the tale. " Last week George and I found a cabinet that makes things disappear, and ya see, Graham has a thing for that sister of yours. So, naturally, we got her involved. She lured Graham into the closet where we were waiting. Then, we forced him to give up the password to the Slytherin common room, which he wouldn’t do unless we put him in the cabinet. Of course, he wasn’t at all intimidated but then we demonstrated what it did which broke him. We originally promised to not throw him in but things happen and people change their minds.”

 (Y/n) smiles a bit. “Soooooooooo… where is he now?”

 He shrugs. “Who knows. He could be anywhere in the school.”

“That still doesn’t explain how you got up here without anyone seeing or helping you.”

“I guess I have that undeniable Weasley charm.” He winked with a flip of his nonexistant long locks. “Sure, the girls were confused and very angry when I walked in but I buttered them up just enough so they smuggled me up here. So, there you have it.”

 It took a moment for everything processed. “But, to be honest, you’re the last person I expected up here. Why didn’t George or (S/n) come instead?”

 He just stared at her smiling before changing the subject. Ya know, I don’t think George would be very happy seeing you like this.” Which was true, it broke George’s heart to see her like this but he couldn’t tell why. Deep down he knew he always liked her a bit but he always denied and pushed it away. It was like this time he couldn’t. "And I have a feeling you got over the whole incident pretty quickly. So what's got you so upset?"

“Your brother, actually… Swear to me you won’t tell anyone what you hear.”

 George crossed his heart and zipped his lips, throwing away the imaginary key. 

“Alright, don’t tell him I said this but he makes my life a living hell… and I can’t help but love him for it.”

 She lets out another shaky laugh and shakes her head.

 ‘There it was again.’ George thought.

 “Yeah. I fancy him I suppose and he makes it so damn hard no to.” She pauses. “Why am I telling this to you again?”

 He laughs a bit and stands up, towering over her. “I don’t know. However, I do know that you should smile more.”

 Her eyebrows knit together. “Why should I-”

“Because it makes it hard not to fancy you too.”

Her vision was totally clear now and only then did she realize who she had just spilled out her deepest darkest secret to.  

 She stared at him, a lump forming in her throat. What was she even supposed to say? 

"George, I-"

 Before she could finish, he grabs her arm and pulls her down, pecking her lips. It was short, sweet and just enough to leave her in a state of shock.

 He smiled seeing what he had done to her. “I told you I would make you smile, beautiful.” 

 He winked before calmly standing and leaving a shocked (Y/n) to her whirlwind of thoughts.

Originally posted here: @bucketoweasley. Please do not go there it's embarrassing and plus this version is way better ANYWAY thank you for reading and have a lovely day :)

[coffeebeannate]

nateee, natteeeeee, your pirate!joe fic has DEVASTATED me with endless possibilities floating around through my lil gremlin brain so i feel it's only fair to subject you to them: first concept: pirate joe, mermaid nicky. do i need to say more??? do i?? second concept: prince/royalty joe and pirate nicky. the forbidden LOVERS of it all. im picturing a scene where nicky perhaps rescues joe (not that joe isn't perfectly capable on his own) and nicky says "i'm a pirate, not a monster" AHHHhhhH???HHH

I need you all to witness the absolute glory that Abby here has been leaving in my inbox. Under a cut because it’s long but trust me folks, this is worth every second. 

Abby, this is a delight and I thank you so much for sharing it with me. My inbox has been a happy place the last couple days!

Behold, All, Abby’s excellent brain tinkerings:

im not done!!! im not done!! theres still Thoughts jumbling around like marbles in a jar in the hands of a very energetic toddler! this is kinda going off the idea of prince/royalty joe and pirate nicky but its set in canonverse and they're undercover and they have to keep up the appearances of who they're supposed to be (and not liking the other) but them having secret rendezvous and finding the whole situation... amusing. also maybe trying to get the other to break character for funsies idk im having perhaps... TOO MANY IDEA? okay okay okay okay runaway prince turned pirate joe. i dont know what nicky's vibe is in this au but one thought is - mermaid? (im perhaps.. too much of a fan of mermaid nicky concept idk) i guess nicky could also be a prince in this situation? or a pirate? idk im just thinking about runaway prince turned pirate joe. like with no one knowing that pirate joe is actually prince yusuf and vice versa. wait wai twai ti wajit i have idea  (runaway prince joe turned pirate) maybe nicky is like... sent to find prince yusuf? and in his journeys he stumbles across pirate joe. maybe there's rumors that Pirate!Joe killed prince yusuf? maybe nicky confronts joe and joe just tilts his head and gives nicky a coy smile saying 'oh, the prince isn't dead... but i can promise you won't find him if you kill me.' okay so just to draw it out a bit of a picture. nicky has his sword at joe's throat at this point, like the sword tip just under joe's chin y'know the whole gay holding ur enemy at swordpoint shebang. but joe is unfazed by this, he speaks the whole 'prince yusuf isn't dead' bit and theres a smirk on his lips and confidence in his eyes. maybe nicky demands that he tell him where the prince is. maybe its at this point that joe says 'i can promise if you kill me you'll never find him' okay hold on let me just: Nicky has Joe at swordpoint, a surprise attack perhaps. Joe: "While this isn't my first encounter with a devilishly handsome man holding me at swordpoint, i must say this is the first time i don't know /why/" Nicky narrows his eyes, "You killed Prince Yusuf. I was sent to seek justice for his death." "Oh... well, while I'm honored, truly, but I'm afraid there is not justice to seek. Prince Yusuf isn't dead." Nicolò (i know i used nicky previously but i like the vibe of nicolò so im using that now) manages to narrow his eyes at Joe even more, of course all logic is telling him not to believe this pirate, but there is this (extremely repressed) part of him that /believes/ Joe. And that's when Joe, maybe sensing or seeing the hesitation in Nicolò's eyes, tilts his head and speaks again, "Kill me if you wish, but I can promise if you do so, you will never find the justice you seek, you will /never/ find your Prince- and it will be /you/ who is as good as his killer." Nicolò stands there silently for a bit, his expression blank, and finally he speaks, his voice quiet, "And if I don't kill you?" And Joe's grin widens almost instantaneously. (thats all i've like thought out exact scene wise but maybe joe says smth like "you'll just have to find out" okay so like i said i dont have exact thoughts but like, basically, joe ends up taking nicolò on a wild goose chase to find the prince. maybe he has a plan, or more likely, he's winging it with his quick wit and charm alone. i know he certainly doesn't /plan/ to reveal to nicolò that /he/ is in fact the prince (as nicolò's new goal/plan has become "rescuing" the prince and returning him to his home) but well... lets just say things dont really follow... Any Plans in the end so they go on a wild goose chase together, and slowly, slowly they fall. and idk what really happens but im just picturing there being situations where joe could... so easily ditch nicolò, but he finds himself stalling in those situations. maybe joe slowly teaches nicolò pirate-y things. maybe nicolò secretly begins hoping they /never/ find the prince. if it means he gets to stay with joe. idk. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ idk. Additional Points:

okay okay so one thought i haven't been able to stop thinking about in this prince turned pirate au is andy and quynh. now my frist thought was like mermaid quynh but i think thats just gonna be another au im gonna have to think about but i think the concept i really like for this au is pirate andy & quynh, they are the ones who helped joe get to where he is as a pirate (and perhaps they are the only people who know the truth about joe?) and yeah, co-pirates andy & quynh i'm just really picturing andy and quynh running into joe and nicky when joe is "leading nicky to the prince" and them just,,, raising their eyebrows at joe like "to the Prince? the PRINCE?" and at this point joe and nicky have fallen for each other but refuse to admit it or anything and andy & quynh See RIGHT through joe but joe INSISTS he has everything under control and he Has A Plan so they ultimately leave him alone in the end but they KNOW... they KNOW Some Gems Abby Included: “Hold on I gotta eat” (There was a pause in asks here) “Okay, I’ve put on pirate music LETS GO” (After part 8) “Okay this is the last part.” (Sends two more parts) Abby, from the absolute bottom of my heart thank you for this. I’d be happy to expand it into a thing of some sort (a fic) down the road, and take these incredible notes with me. You made me laugh out loud multiple times and the little notes you put in just made it better. I encourage this entirely and thank you so much. This is absolutely fantastic. I’m honoured to have been the one you’ve shared this with.

[richietoaster]

We’re Just Stardust In The Night

part two of the series “I Think About You A Lot”

can be read as a standalone!! but here is the previous part

wordcount: 2,660

playlist

read here on AO3

THANK YOU @s-s-georgie FOR BETAING 

if you dont mind reading unformatted, you can continue below

----------------------------------------------------------

It was peaceful, the sleep that Richie was sound in. That is until a foot kicks at his face and knocks his glasses off his face; he almost loses his balance and falls out of the hammock he’s sharing with his boyfriend.

Richie scowls at Eddie and picks his glasses up from the floor. “One day I’m gonna really get you back.”

“Is that a promise?” 

Richie adjusts the frames back onto his face. “No, it’s a threat.” 

“Ominous.” Eddie pushes himself up on the hammock and leans over to steal the glasses from Richie’s face. 

“Hey!”

“Maybe I was removing them for a reason, dumbass.”  There’s a glint in Eddie’s eyes as he angles his head and bends down to kiss Richie. And that.. That’s just something neither of them will ever get used to. How can anyone go this long without kissing the love of their life? Their fucking soulmate? God, Eddie would never tell Richie that- it’d go straight to his head. Eddie clutches the frames in his hand, and uses the other to slide it up Richie’s neck, his thumb resting underneath of his jaw. Eddie opens his mouth slowly, taking the lead, and feels the warmth of Richie’s tongue dip in, and he thinks this must be what paradise is.

The second that Richie turns his head to kiss Eddie deeper is when he hears the door to the clubhouse open, and there’s two of their friends jumping down. Richie tosses his boyfriend off of his lap out of reflex and immediately apologizes when Eddie starts groaning.

“Shit, sorry Eds-”

“What are you losers up to, huh?” Richie can hear Bev’s smirk.

“Oh, fuck off.”

“You know,” Stan starts, “You guys don’t have to hide the fact that you’re kissing- we all know that you fuck.”

“We do not,” Eddie corrects, and it makes Richie’s face drop slightly. It’s true- they haven’t slept together. They’ve only been dating for a whole three weeks. He guesses that some people are comfortable with doing it early in a relationship- and not that he wouldn’t have an issue fucking Eddie; it’s Eddie and sex. Richie knows that he’ll be head-empty-no-thoughts once they start getting sexual. It’s just he doesn’t know if Eddie would be up to it, based on his reaction just there. Hell, even his reactions previously. The other losers tease them for not having sex. They’re all surprised because: ‘Really? You guys haven’t slept together? Shit, Rich. Shocked you haven’t jumped his bones yet!’ And- that’s not really fair. Richie’s been wanting to fuck Eddie since his voice dropped. 

Richie reaches down to help lift Eddie to his feet. “Leave it, you guys. Eddie doesn’t like talking about our sex life. It’s because he’s shy.” He presses multiple quick kisses to Eddie’s hand.

“No,” Eddie flicks Richie’s nose, “It’s because we don’t have one.” The ‘yet’ lingers in the air.

“No,” Richie mocks, “It’s because you don’t wanna let everyone know that all those things I’ve said about my dick is true.” He pulls Eddie closer, playfully yet suggestively.

“You’re fuckin’ disgusting.” 

Bev laughs at them, “Has anything even changed for you guys? You still bicker like an old married couple.”

Richie and Eddie look at each other and shrug, saying simultaneously, “We kiss.” Richie adds on, “and a lot.” He thinks it’s nice being in a relationship with his best friend. Because nothing really had to change at all, just like Bev said. And it shouldn’t have to, honestly. They just added to it- kissing. 

“Okay, yeah, spare me the details,” Stan pretends to gag. 

“You're just jealous that you don’t have your own Spaghetti.”

“No, I’m good, actually, thanks.”

“And what is wrong with my Spaghetti, huh?” 

Stan leans over the bean bag he’s sitting on to grab a stray pillow on the floor and chucks it at Richie. 

“Hey!” Richie squawks. “You know what? I’m taking a nap. Wake me up when Eddie’s mom realizes she wants to hit it and quit it with me.” He turns over in the hammock, rustling Eddie.

“I thought you would quit those,” Eddie says, but there’s no serious tone to his voice. He knows that’s just Richie’s humor.

“Fine. I’ll change it up a bit: Wake me up when your dad wants to hit it and-”

“-My dad’s fucking dead, you asshole.” Eddie barks out a laugh. 

“Can we stay down here and get drunk tonight?”

“No, I have to be in a good present state tomorrow for school. Handing in the last few slips of shit for graduation.”

“Hm. Seems a good enough reason to get drunk.” Richie huffs. He and Eddie have talked about this multiple times, he knows. It’s just he can’t shake the thought away. Sometimes it just sticks too long in his mind and he needs reassurance, which Eddie is more than happy to give.

Eddie slots himself against Richie like he was before their friends made an appearance. 

“Hey,” he whispers, “are you good? I know what you’re thinking.”

“You do? That’s kinda hot.” 

Eddie taps at Richie’s chest. “It’s okay to be worried, you know. It’s healthy to be worried. I just want to make sure that your head is in a good place, though.”

“M’fine. Don’t worry that pretty little head of yours,” Richie rakes back Eddie’s hair, stopping at the base of his neck to pull him up in an open mouthed kiss. Eddie grasps Richie’s chin to get a better angle and tilts his head. 

“If y’all are gonna fuck can I please record it?” Bev asks, not looking up from her phone.

Eddie rolls his eyes. “Stop interrupting us.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t be making out in a public place.”

“This is literally our private clubhouse, Stan.” Eddie says.

“Seven people use it and come and go as we please.” 

“Maybe that’s exactly what I’m trying to do but you’re here.” Richie says. Nobody can tell if he’s joking or not.

“If I ever fucking find out y’all end up banging in that hammock, so help me God.”

“I thought jewish people don’t have a God.”

Richie braces himself and Eddie, who’s still laying on top of him, from another incoming pillow that Stan throws. 

“You’re so stupid.” 

----

A few days later, Eddie’s in Richie’s room, laying on the bed that’s shoved in the corner, unmade. His head hangs off the edge as he impatiently waits for Richie to come back into the room. They got their graduation caps and gowns and Eddie insisted on having Richie try it on for him. 

“If you don’t hurry up we’ll miss graduation at this rate. Come on, Rich.” 

There’s ruffling from the bathroom and Richie pokes his head out. “I feel weird.”

“Why do you feel weird?”

“Because graduation. It’s like a bittersweet taste in my mouth.” Richie steps out and trudges back to where Eddie is. “Feel like I gotta brush my teeth every time I talk about it.”

Eddie flips his body and sits upright, reaching out to clutch the gown between his fingers, pulling Richie closer to him. “You look cute.”

“No, you.”

“You can’t use the Uno reverse card in verbal conversations.”

“Says who?” Richie challenges.

“Me,” Eddie smooths out the deep red robe. He plays with the Honor cords around Richie’s neck. “You’re gonna nail your speech, you know.”

Richie slumps, “I’m scared shitless.”

“Why don’t you practice it and read it to me?”

“No can do, Spaghettio.” Richie shakes his head. “It’s a surprise.”

“Am I in it?”

Richie shrugs, smirking, and unzips the robe, hanging it back up in his closet. “You’ll have to wait and see.”

“That’s not fair.” Eddie pouts and flings himself backwards to lay on the bed, toying with the sheets. 

Richie jumps up next to Eddie and cozies into his side, draping an arm around his torso. “It’s totally fair, you’re just impatient.” 

“Maybe so,” Eddie hums. He looks down at Richie, who’s already looking up at him. They meet in the middle to kiss slowly. “Hmm.”

“What?” Richie asks, lips dragging over Eddie’s as he speaks. “You good?”

“Very,” Eddie responds and pushes the hair out of Richie’s face. 

And it’s moments like this where Richie wants to tell Eddie that he loves him. He supposes that Eddie might have a strong inkling about it, or maybe already knows, but Richie’s never actually said it outloud. Yet, he says a lot of things that sound a lot like i love you, like, when Richie drives away from Eddie’s house after dropping him off, ‘i’ll text you when i’m home,’ or when Eddie does something funny and Richie says, ‘you’re so stupid,’ with a huge ass grin. It’s in the little things, as cheesy as it sounds. 

“Tell me.” Richie says after a minute.

“Mm?”

Richie watches Eddie, sees how his eyes are closed and smiles. “Would you be mad if I just stole you away for the whole summer? Just you and me? Like as much as I love our friends.. I kinda rather just be with you.”

Eddie peaks an eye open, “I wouldn’t be opposed to it with that logic,” and looks down at his lips, nudging Richie with his nose. Richie gets the hint and begins to push himself up from the mattress. Before they can kiss again, the door is opening and Maggie Tozier’s voice fills the air.

“Hey, Eddie you should call your mom and- oh.”

“Shit,” Richie curses and pushes himself away from Eddie, but there’s not much room for him to work with seeing as they’re on his bed.

That’s another thing- only their friends know, well, until now. Maggie totally knows.

“Could you..” Richie chokes on his words, “knock next time? Please?”

Maggie gives him a look that definitely says ‘we have to talk about this later’, but she nods, “Yeah, I- sorry.. I was just gonna say that Eddie should call his mom if he wants to stay for dinner..” She pauses and looks between the two. Maggie doesn’t know who’s more red: them or her. “I’ll just..” She points behind her and slowly backs out of Richie’s room, closing the door.

“Holy fuck.” Eddie turns to Richie. “Is she gonna tell my mom? Because I-”

“-No, Eds. She’s cool.. She won’t tell your mom.”

“Jesus- and- what is she gonna say to you? Is she gonna yell?”

“Eddie.. She knows I’m gay. She just.. didn’t know that I’m with you.” Richie shrugs, “I don’t think she’s gonna care, but she, uh, might not let us keep the door closed anymore..” He trails off.

“Why would she not-” Richie sees the moment Eddie gets it. “But we’re not.. We’re not having sex.” 

“She doesn’t know that. She just walked in on us with me practically on top of you, looking like we were kissing. Which was actually accurate, so.” 

“Can’t you tell her that we aren’t?”

Richie laughs, “You think she’s gonna believe that her son and boyfriend aren’t fucking? I mean.. It’s gonna happen eventually, so I mean-” He stops himself. “I-I mean it doesn’t have to, of course..” 

Eddie relaxes and reaches for Richie’s hand. “Yes, it will. I just don’t want either of us to feel pressured just because others think we should or already think that we are. I want it to be natural. That’s for us to know- nobody else.”

“Like a secret?”

Eddie barks out a laugh, “Sure. But I’m sure our friends will catch wind of it eventually.”

“So,” Richie changes the subject, “Are you staying for dinner? Maybe even the night?”

“I’ll stay for dinner, but not the night. I don’t want your mother to have a heart attack. Plus I don’t think I’d be able to handle it if she made me sleep on the couch or something. I’ve been sleeping next to you years even before this, don’t think I could without you anymore.”

“Alright then,” Richie decides, “Then I’ll sneak over to your house tonight.”

“My mom would not let you in.”

“You have a window,” Richie tells him. “That I’ve used plenty of times.”

“Okay smartass.” Eddie rolls his eyes, grinning.

Richie kisses his temple and noses along his face. “Once we’re in California we could get our own apartment and then I won’t have to worry about sneaking over.”

“You’d want that?”

“Eds, I’ve wanted everything with you for a long time now.”

Eddie turns his head and slots his lips against Richie’s, kissing him hard, knocking them both over. “You’re amazing.”

Richie thinks that kind of sounds like ‘i love you.’ 

---------

“Mom, I want to talk to you, um, about what you saw earlier..” 

It’s been two hours since Eddie left, and Maggie’s getting ready for bed. She looks at him with an amused expression. “I’m not mad, Rich. I’m not upset or angry either. I’m proud of you.”

Richie’s a little taken back by her statement, because that’s a lot to take in. “You’re.. You’re proud of me? For what? You walked in on me and Eddie seconds away from kissing and you’re proud?” 

Maggie shakes her head, “No, Richie. I’m proud of you for finding someone who makes you happy. And you deserve that, honey. I know that living here hasn’t always been the most accepting, even in this day-and-age.” Richie looks like he’s going to cry. “Don’t get soft on me, now.”

“I’m not.” Richie wipes a tear away and embraces his mom. She strokes his hair.

“How long have you been together?” Maggie asks him.

“Only three weeks.”

“You’ve liked him for a long time.” Richie gives her a look and she nudges him back, “Okay I know you are not dumb, Richie. I notice things. I’m your mother. Of course I know that the way you’ve always looked at him was different from the way you look at the rest of your friends.”

“Since the eighth grade,” Richie admits. Maggie hums. “So, are you gonna like.. make us keep the door open now?”

“We’ll see. But if I knock and there’s no answer within seven seconds, I’m opening that door.”

“Don’t even worry about it- we’re not..”

Maggie looks surprised, “You guys aren’t boning?”

“Mom!”

“What? I just finished what you were gonna say! Don’t be a pussy, I raised you better than that.” Maggie bumps Richie’s shoulder with hers, giggling. “But that’s surprising, actually.”

“I am not talking about my sex l- nonexistent sex life with you right now. Nope, not happening. This is a conversation for another night. Another year.” 

Maggie laughs, “Alright, alright, understood.”

Richie pauses though, suddenly nervous to speak. “I love him, ma.”

“I know.”

Richie stumbles into Eddie’s window around midnight. He thinks Eddie is still asleep and climbs in the bed, carefully, snuggling up next to him. Richie presses soft kisses to the back of Eddie’s neck. He sighs contently and smiles against Eddie’s skin. Most people would probably think they’re moving too fast, despite them not actually moving fast at all. They’re in that weird position where they’ve just liked each other for so long, that the amount of time they’ve been official, doesn’t matter. Everything just feels so right.

Which is why Richie runs a hand through Eddie’s hair and mutters against his neck, “I love you, Eddie,” because he felt like it was the perfect time to say it. He freezes though, when Eddie stirs, turning to look at him. Richie starts to internally panic, but then:

“I love you too, Rich.”

Richie’s eyes are wide, his emotions are a mix of shock and happiness. Eddie smiles and reaches up to caress his cheek. 

“I love you, too.” Eddie repeats. He wipes away a tear that rolls down Richie’s face and then suddenly a mouth is covering his own.

Honestly, fuck what others think. It’s their relationship, their pace, and they can do whatever they want.

And if that includes kissing Eddie forever, Richie definitely wouldn’t mind. 

-------------------------------------------------------

Perma taglist (ASK TO BE ADDED OR REMOVED):

@beproudtozier @eds-trashmouth @eddiefuckinkaspbrak @s-s-georgie @tinyarmedtrex @are-you-reddie-for-it @richietoizer @richietczier @tk-strand @gczebos @your-mother-and-i-are-separating @derrylosers @thepurplepanther @montconde @devjoan @emecat123 @weirdthoughtsandideas @caleigh-rayne @kaspzier @tastytozier @melkene @whysthatsofuckingfunnydickwad @its-stranger-than-you-think @legally-devorak @s-onora @becauseweredeltairlines @lifesucksheres20bucks @soooobr @itmovieunofficial @tomhollandslefteyebrow @sloppybitchreddie @iwantmybloodonyourhands @pinkmedusa6 @fandomluvgirl @kelthehuman @panikki @ahhhhgh @eddiessecondfannypack @rainbowrabblerouser @stellar-alley @thoughtfullyyoungduck @k4spbrak @bi-bi-richie @bastardchildsbestfriend @sloppybitchreddie

[punkscowardschampions]

Charlie & Ronnie

Charlie: You said you were coming to this thing

Charlie: can I send your apologies instead now?

Charlie: 👍

Ronnie: you wish

Ronnie: ill be there like i said

Charlie: Time management was never one for the CV

Charlie: but you’re already more than fashionably late, dear

Ronnie: &

Ronnie: invite came from mckenna and he dont care

Charlie: It’s not his dinner party

Ronnie: no shit

Ronnie: its not yours either calm down like

Charlie: I’m just saying, you’ve wrangled an invite as is

Charlie: you’re gonna make it more awkward because?

Ronnie: if shes not got you working the door now as another favour why the fuck are you so bothered is what im just saying mary

Charlie: They’re nice kids, whatever beef you’ve got with your brother and the rest, I don’t see why you’ve got to involve them, is what I’m saying

Charlie: they’ve not got fuck all to do with your family drama

Ronnie: err he ll be made up dont you want me to be a boss big sister

Charlie: the kid clearly has his own issues

Charlie: I could spot codependent and toxic before you could walk, don’t lie to me, like

Ronnie: cant walk now so stall the starters or dont

Charlie: For fuck’s sake Veronica

Ronnie: you wanted the truth bitch

Charlie: You can’t show up here high

Charlie: they’ll be terrified, might call the cops

Ronnie: showing up sober is what i cant do

Charlie: don’t you think you should take a break from him

Charlie: whatever you decide to do after, you need to calm it down

Ronnie: it was you who said not to act like he werent about

Charlie: yeah, you can’t pretend it hasn’t happened obviously

Charlie: but that was before you shot him up

Ronnie: and after you told me to look after him

Ronnie: make up your fucking mind baby

Charlie: What would be preferable is you not fucking doing it

Charlie: really should go without saying

Ronnie: it fucking wouldnt

Ronnie: you cant hack living with me on gear how do you reckon itd be with me off it

Charlie: I meant dosing a kid, ‘cos there’s no way it happened the once

Charlie: and there are options for you, for free on the glorious NHS for now

Ronnie: you meant both 🖕 he werent a kid when you wanted to fuck him

Charlie: Not the same is it

Charlie: someone can be old enough for sex and not old enough for you to ruin their life

Ronnie: love ya for the flattery but his life was fucked before he found me

Charlie: was he using

Ronnie: youre the only cunt i know who reckons hes above it even B uses 💊

Charlie: yeah because there aren’t levels to it

Charlie: come off it

Charlie: the 💊s he takes aren’t on the level of smack, at all

Ronnie: mckenna aint never gonna let you daddy him you can stop pretending to give a shit

Charlie: I give a shit because you’re a mess

Charlie: more than usual

Ronnie: i dont usually have to babysit any bastard half brothers like

Charlie: you’re choosing to come tonight though

Ronnie: i owe him after that call centre bullshit

Charlie: and that’s it?

Ronnie: what the fuck else would it be

Charlie: You tell me

Ronnie: i just did

Charlie: Alright then

Ronnie: [show up so he can judge the absolute state of you IRL and have to make allowances for that and how rude you are]

Charlie: [we all know how this goes, feel his shame and judgment in how much work we have to do to cover up your behaviour]

Ronnie: [how offended and upset she would be that he's ashamed of her is killing me because how could he not be babe]

Charlie: [oh honey, like what else could we be lol]

Ronnie: [the real question is have you picked up on the jealous and intense incesty vibes yet boy or what do you think is happening lol]

Charlie: [If anyone would pick up on it, we know you and your possessive energy]

Ronnie: [yeah that was my thought cos he knows her the best and they have their own weird history and vibe so]

Charlie: [he’s obvs not going to talk to you right now because mad and also like !!! but feel free to do some if you wanna]

Ronnie: [gonna have her try and talk to him when Jamie is talking to Joe for obvious reasons lol but before we’re bleeding]

Ronnie: you can lord it you were right but lets bail yeah

Ronnie: charlie come ed soft lad

Ronnie: what you ignoring me for 🖕💔

Ronnie: fucks sake

Ronnie: [after the briefest pause because he won’t immediately reply to her just gotta go into graphic detail about that OD she had in Margate before Joe got there cos he can clearly see all the self harm that’s going on but she wouldn’t have told him about this until literally now]

Charlie: [just a look like DON’T that cannot be overstated]

Charlie: why would you do that

Ronnie: can we fucking go now

Charlie: you can

Charlie: don’t use your self-destruction to hold me hostage, you’re beyond too old for that now, Jesus fucking Christ

Ronnie: [this makes logical sense to be where Sophie pops up with the kitchen roll etc and then bathroomgate so all of that is kicking off]

Charlie: [just out here doing the most to cover for you]

Charlie: what the fuck are you doing

Ronnie: [because they are doing the most in that tiny bathroom LOL you can have a reply once she’s left]

Ronnie: leaving

Ronnie: youre welcome

Charlie: yeah, you did me such a solid there, tah

Ronnie: you too florence dead caring

Charlie: you can’t hack a kid’s dinner party?

Ronnie: fuck you

Ronnie: you know whats wrecking my head

Charlie: yet you can’t leave him alone

Charlie: how the fuck can I do anything if you won’t do that

Ronnie: you werent gonna do fuck all end of

Ronnie: youve not

Charlie: you aren’t a kid, I can’t force you to sort your life out

Ronnie: yeah cos being like you will save me

Charlie: I’m not OD’ing with strangers

Ronnie: 💔 everyone liked you better when you were using

Charlie: you did

Charlie: and that isn’t a good enough reason to be a junkie forever

Ronnie: no shit i did

Charlie: well I’m so sorry your majesty

Charlie: God forbid I sort my life for me

Ronnie: nobody but you gives a fuck you stopped snorting lines out of every twinks arse crack

Ronnie: god forbid you shut the fuck up about it and this recovery bullshit

Charlie: you clearly give a fuck, Ronnie

Ronnie: you give more of a fuck about mckennas flatmates than you do about me

Charlie: that’s bullshit

Charlie: you only came to ruin their night, you got mad when it weren’t going your way

Charlie: you expected me to help?

Ronnie: i dont give a shit about these teenagers

Ronnie: im losing it and you reckon theyre on my mind

Charlie: Is ruining his life going to fix yours

Charlie: no

Ronnie: youve never had to hack this dont fucking tell me how to

Charlie: because you’re the only one who has family issues

Charlie: fuck you, you know I’d give anything to be in your spot

Ronnie: if i could swap our places i would

Ronnie: i dont wanna fucking be here doing this with him & you aint even tried to get your head round that

Charlie: in what world does it need to be like this

Ronnie: the world im living in where the fuck is your head at

Charlie: why can’t you just fucking

Charlie: cut him off or actually try

Ronnie: this is me trying

Ronnie: i didnt hang myself off the back of their bathroom door

Charlie: then you need to stop

Charlie: I’ll tell him to leave you alone now

Ronnie: hes gonna do that now without you flouncing in

Charlie: I’m still doing it, you ain’t here to stop me

Ronnie: hot but you still aint his type

Charlie: not funny

Ronnie: not joking

Charlie: don’t be tapped, I wouldn’t go anywhere near him now

Ronnie: stick your dick where you like i dont give a fuck

Charlie: yeah well I’m slightly more discerning, tah very much

Ronnie: these days

Charlie: yeah, where we live now

Charlie: I’m not trying to relive my worst years every weekend

Ronnie: yeah such a grown up youre having dinner with kids

Ronnie: save this little speech to pull the wool over the eyes of whatever wool homo youre gonna try and pull at the weekend

Charlie: I never said I was there yet

Charlie: better than the state of you

Ronnie: 🖕💔

Ronnie: state of me yeah after whats just happened youve seen fuck all yet soft cunt

Charlie: that’s the sound of me being unimpressed

Charlie: grow up

Ronnie: shut up properly by getting out of my fucking face

Charlie: I’m going out

Ronnie: with your new bezzies

Charlie: what’s it to you

Ronnie: youre not a junkie and youre still the most selfish cunt i know have a word with yourself

Charlie: because I’m not jumping to do exactly what you want, no matter how dumb or shit an idea it is

Charlie: yeah, I’m the problem, alright babe

Ronnie: you reckon you wanna be in my place so bad but you cant even hack it from there

Ronnie: since when have i gotta beg for help off you

Charlie: I wouldn’t act like a dick if anyone from my family reached out

Charlie: and what help? You haven’t asked for help, you wanted me to help you shit on some random kids to make you feel better for 10 seconds

Charlie: if you actually told me anything seriously, if you wanted help and not just someone to get high with

Ronnie: i wanted to fucking leave & cos i didnt its pure fucked now

Ronnie: i am my head is worse than before and you dont give a single shit

Charlie: what did you do

Ronnie: like fuck are you getting the gossip

Charlie: gossip are you serious

Charlie: ‘cos this either is and I’m the shittest mate in the world or it isn’t and it’s ‘gossip’

Ronnie: shittest mate is right weve established it

Charlie: what did you do

Ronnie: fuck you its your fault

Charlie: then tell me what I did bitch

Ronnie: i told you we shouldve gone

Charlie: okay, we should’ve gone

Charlie: go on

Ronnie: you were there

Charlie: yeah, and I was covering for you

Ronnie: yeah well done

Charlie: you say that like I’m meant to know what the fuck you were doing, is my point

Charlie: i was a little busy sorting your mess

Ronnie: you had a cob on over that mess and the one im in after it is loads fucking worse so theres fuck all you can sort for me now

Charlie: calm down and stop being dramatic

Charlie: just tell me and we’ll sort it

Ronnie: fuck off

Ronnie: thank christ i dont need you to calm down

Ronnie: [gonna go get messy obvs so she probably won't reply but if you wanna try go ahead hun]

Charlie: yeah, smack has served you SO well thus far

Charlie: what a great idea

Charlie: come on

Charlie: oh, the silent treatment in return, really

Charlie: very mature

Charlie: I’ll see you when I get home

[kweebtrash]

When I See You Again (M)

Genre:  Best Friends to Lovers! AU, Tattoo Artist! Yuto, 1st person reader

Summary:  You and Yuto had met in high school, an unlikely pair as he was the juvenile delinquent and you were just a foreign exchange student trapped in a country who’s people didn’t except you and lost in homesickness. After saving you from your worst nightmare of being trapped against the wall between some bullies, you slowly started to become friends, though friendship quickly turned into a secret crush. When your heart was just about full a devastating accident caused you to be ripped away from Japan, never seeing Yuto again. Ten years later a chance encounter on a simple vacation turns your world upside down as the teenage boy you loved was now a man who still had a hold of your heart.

Warnings: violence (fighting), mentions of blood, bullying, mentions of abuse

Features: shy yuto, fun and awkward conversations during sexy time, oral (giving and receiving), fingering, slow and gentle and mostly romantic sex, a smidgearooni of dirty talk (but cute dirty talk). Basically Yuto can be confident at times but mostly shy in bed. Yuto is also very handsy and loves kissing so theres a lot of that in case it seems overdone.

Word Count:

A/N:  This was actually a request i received almost a year ago (i’m so sorry) and i finally challenged myself to finish this. I don’t really think it’s my best but I really wanted to get back into writing for pentagon. To the person that requested this i’m so damn sorry it took so long.

I hope you at least think it was worth it.

My shoes pounded against the tile as i weaved through a crowded hallway full of students. My breath burned in my lungs and my heart pounded in my ears. I dodged a student council member, spinning on my heels and almost falling to my knees before catching myself. I took quick glances over my shoulder trying to see if they were behind me. Their raucous laughter was still close by as they remained high on my tail. I laser focused on the sound, hearing it over the gossiping whispers and angry yells as i almost crashed into the other students. Up ahead I could see a flight of stairs that lead to the rooftop. It felt like a light at the end of the tunnel. I sprinted up the stairs two at a time and grabbed onto the door handle, hoping to all hell that it wasn’t locked. I flung it open with all my strength, falling through the doorway. I slammed it shut behind me, pressing my back to it taking in deep breaths until my lungs went back into a rhythm of normalcy. Up on the roof gusts of fall air cooled my skin as i walked over to the edge. It was peaceful here. No one to shame me, no one to chase me, no one to make my life a living hell. I wished I wasn't here at all. I wanted to go back home. I momentarily looked down at the bustling sidewalk below. People looked like ants from how far up I was. A wave of nausea and fear came over me and I took a step back.

“You’re not going to jump are you?”

I whipped around quickly to see that i wasn’t alone on the rooftop. He was sprawled out on his back, hands folded behind his head, and a cigarette dangling from his lips. His uniform matched mine, but it looked like he was determined to violate every dress code put into place. His blazer was open, revealing a black v-neck underneath, tie hanging loosely around his neck, and piercings all along his ears. I stared at him momentarily taken aback by his "bad boy" vibes and piercing gaze. He seemed so familiar but I couldn’t quite place him. I walked to the center of the rooftop so I could stay safe. “No...I’m not planning on it.”

“Good. With my luck they’d say I pushed you.” He pulled the cigarette from his lips and exhaled.

“Who’s ‘they’?” I questioned, still wracking my brain trying to figure out who he was.

“Police. Principal. Students. Idiots and assholes. ‘They’.” It clicked in my head then. Adachi. I had heard the name floating in conversations in the hallway. My Japanese was far from perfect but I could at least recall that name. He towered over most of the students and was always in detention, cutting classes, and getting into fights. Rumors were even spread about him being a serial killer, which seemed typical of the students here; anything to shove away people who were different and isolate them. He had a different impact than I did. While i was the weak foreigner, he was one to be feared but I didn’t even think he looked intimidating. In fact, I thought he was kind of...cute. “What were you running from?” He continued, this time in English which surprised me but gave me a sense of comfort. His accent was heavy and words a little broken but i was the same with my Japanese so I didn't care.

Ever since my family moved to Japan for my dad’s job I had been struggling to pick up the language. It didn’t help that I was thrust into public school without any time to prepare for classes fully. Everyday was becoming more of a struggle for hundreds of reasons and I wished desperately that I could go back to my own country. In hindsight that was probably the most truthful answer-that I was running from everything- but I provided him the one that didn’t reveal my true feelings.

“Girls.” I stated flatly. “Stupid girls. Evil girls. They were...calling me this word I didn’t understand and they were laughing at me. Then they cornered me. I don’t know why they were so pissed off. I don’t even think I have classes with any of them. Before I knew it they we're grabbing at my hair and were trying to cut it. I ran away as fast as I could. It's been like that since I've started school here.”

Adachi scoffed and flicked his cigarette off the side of the roof. He stood up slowly, dusting off the back of his uniform pants. “Fight back.” He stated as if it was the most logical and useful answer. “Don't let anyone know what you're scared of or else you're just going to get treated like you're nothing.”

I almost laughed at his “advice.” “That’s your great idea? To fight? I’m sure it works well for you.” I said sarcastically, crossing my arms over my chest.

“Oh it does.” He shot back at me. “You don't see me whining about people calling me gaijin and crying over being bullied, do you?”

My brows furrowed. “I wasn’t crying, asshole! It’s just irritating and annoying. I don’t understand what’s happening in my classes and I can’t even go to them without having people threatening to cause me bodily harm or throwing shit at me. On top of that, my parents would kill me if I ever got in trouble so i’m just….stuck.” I let out an exasperated sigh.

“Aww it must really suck to have mommy and daddy pout over you. Whether you follow my advice or not doesn’t mean two shits to me. But dont start whining when they come after you again.” He shrugged and headed towards the door, taking a moment to pause before turning back towards me. “People are stupid. Don’t let it get to you or else you’ll really end up jumping.” With that he left the rooftop leaving me alone at last.

Adachi…what a prick. Where did he get off telling me to fight? It was easy for him to say. He had nothing to lose. Well I assumed so anyway...Maybe I was just as bad as everyone else who judged him. A little pang of guilt hit me. I didn’t want to become like the girls who chased me or the teachers that mocked me. I wasn’t going to judge him just because he was different. After all, he tried to help the only way he knew how. I knew deep down that he was right too. I wasn’t going to show this school how miserable it made me. Maybe taking his advice into consideration wasn’t such a bad idea.

It was days before I saw him again. Occasionally, I would catch him in the hallway but we didn’t have a chance to speak face to face. That was until I had been cornered again by the same girls. It was a chorale of taunts, poking, and prodding; using their cowardice to place us behind the school where no one would see us. The main culprit was a senior who looked down at me in disdain with the most sinister of smiles on her lips. She was the one who screamed the loudest as if I could respond to the words that cut into me. I tried covering my ears to block her out but her shrill voice surpassed my blockade. My blood was boiling and I could feel my body shaking. Adachi’s advice kept creeping into my mind. Just fight. Just Fight. JUST FIGHT. 

“Hey!” The deep voice cut through the screaming and made us all freeze. Our attention turned to Adachi who was standing just a few feet away, glaring at the girls surrounding me. Their demeanor changed in seconds and while their so called “leader” was distracted i closed my eyes and swung. I felt something connect with my fist and a rush of pain sped up my arm. My hand was trembling and when I opened my eyes I saw the splatters of red that stained her white uniform blouse.

“Oh shit.” I whispered in disbelief.

She held her nose and screamed in pain. Before my mind could even react further, Adachi grabbed me by my arm and started running. I struggled to keep up with his long strides, taking no time to look behind us to see if they had begun to follow. Hopefully Adachi had scared them off enough to keep them at bay. It seemed like forever until we stopped beside a nearby convenience store, panting and doubling over as we tried to catch our breaths. Suddenly Adachi burst into laughter, scaring the crap out of me. I had barely heard him speak let alone laugh before. It was...sweet albeit still a little frightening. 

“I can’t believe you actually decked her in the face!”

“W-well she wouldn’t shut up! I was tired of hearing her scream and i didn’t even understand what she was saying! I don’t know what the fuck her problem is." I took a deep death and adjusted my uniform. "Thank you though. You kinda saved me back there.”

“I mean you probably would’ve gotten your ass kicked. And with the way you punched, you wouldn’t have stood a chance.” His eyes darted down to my fist that ached and was starting to bruise. “You punch with the flats of your fingers, not your knuckles. That’s gonna swell. At least you still probably broke her nose..”

“Great. I have no idea how I’m going to hide this from my parents.”

“Time to chop your hand off and say it was a random Yakuza attack.”

I stared at him, my eyes going wide for a second. “Did you...did you just make a joke?”

He shoved his hands in his pockets and stood up a little straighter. “Just because people piss me off doesn’t mean that I can’t actually laugh. I’m not a robot or a serial killer.”

“So you heard those rumors?” I asked softly.

He shrugged. “It’s whatever. Sometimes I go along with it just to get people off my back. Anyway, might as well go inside and get you something cold to keep the swelling down. Stay here.”

I watched his back as the automatic doors parted and he walked in. I rested against the brick wall, trying not to think about the pain in my hand. I uncurled my fingers slowly and tried forming the fist again. It wasn’t easy but nothing seemed to be broken either. My knuckles were now a grisly blue-violet and the swelling was starting to become noticeable. I sighed and glanced down at my watch, impatiently waiting for Adachi’s return. It only took a few more minutes before i saw his tuft of black hair reappear. He held out a frozen bag of peas for me to take while i gave him a puzzled look.

“It’s the only thing they had. Just take it.” 

I took the pack and held it on my hand. it made me wince but also provided a little relief. "Thanks. Do you think I could hide this from my parents?"

"No way in hell. Just keep an ice pack on it and try not to use it too much."

"You sound like an expert on this." I grumbled.

"Yeah, well," He looked away from me and returned his hands to his pockets. "I've had my fair share of busted knuckles. Anyway, do you need me to walk you home or are you cool?"

Walk me home? That wasn't something I expected from him. "Do you really want to?"

"I mean I asked for a reason, dumbass."

"Hey! Don't be a jerk! I just...I've never been walked home before and I know it's kinda a big deal here."

He shrugged. "I don't think so. This isn’t some anime romance. I just want to make sure those bitches aren't after you. It'd be hell if they found out where you lived."

He had a point. I was already harassed at school, I wasn't prepared to be harassed at home as well. "Ok, that sounds good."

He grabbed my briefcase that I barely had time to escape with and held his hand out in front of him. "Lead the way."

We walked side by side, mostly quiet and awkward. I wasn't sure what kind of conversation i should even start. I wanted to know more about him but something told me he was a closed book. I chewed on my lip, overthinking and getting anxious. "You know, i don't even know your name." He said, suddenly.

Oh, that's right. We had never formally introduced ourselves. I told him my name and realized I had to figure out the proper honorific for him. "Wait, should I call you Adachi-kun. Or Adachi-sempai? Are you even older than me? Is it Adachi-san?"

"Just call me Yuto. No honorifics. I don't care about that. It's just some authoritative bullshit."

"You're really one hell of a guy, you know that?" I couldn't help but chuckle.

There was a faint tint of rose to his cheeks, so much so that I thought I had imagined it. He looked away and scoffed. "Tch, whatever. Just keep telling me where to go."

I smiled to myself as we turned a corner. Yuto might have a secret soft spot that I was dying to pry into more. Occasionally, I was able to drum up something else to talk about. I was curious as to why he got into trouble so much but instead tried to see what kind of things he liked. It boiled down to eating and sleeping - very profound hobbies. He seemed more interested in me and once I finally got him talking I realized he wouldn't stop. His tone was still serious but I think it was mostly on account of how deep his voice was. I didn't expect him to be so talkative but it actually felt like I finally had a friend here.

--

A few weeks later, Yuto was supposed to meet me near my house to walk me to school. We had made a habit of walking together almost every day. It didn't matter if we were silent or talked about what happened at school or I scolded him for being a delinquent, our conversations made me totally happy and it was the one thing I looked forward to each day. This morning in particular, though, he wasn't at our usual meet up spot. I waited for a few minutes, wondering if he was caught up somewhere. It was getting dangerously close to first bell and our consequences for being late were going to be extreme. When I called him he didn’t answer which made my mind jump to conclusions and worry immediately. Taking a chance, I sprinted in the direction of the school as a gut feeling was telling me something wasn't right.

As I got closer to the school I could hear a scuffle in the nearest alleyway, close to the convenience store we had stopped back when I had hurt my fist. I saw him against the wall, facing off against two idiots. His briefcase had been tossed to the floor, it's contents spilling out and I was afraid that would happen to his guts as well as one of the attackers was holding a knife. There was no mistaking the shine that spiked across it from the morning sun. They were dressed in uniforms from a school I didn’t recognize- I had no idea who they were and I didn’t care. I was hell bent on returning the favor to Yuto from when he saved me.

"Hey!" I yelled. All attention was turned to me instantly.

"Get out of here!" Yuto said. "It's too dangerous!"

"Oh, is that your little girlfriend?" One of the bigger boys said smugly. 

The knife holder rolled the weapon in his palm, adding to its already present intimidation. My heart was pounding in my ears as my eyes zeroed in on it. Adrenaline was building inside me, the same feelings of needing to fight back taking over from when I had punched my own bully. Fear was still ever present of course. I didn’t stand a chance with actually fist fighting them and they had the upper hand anyway. I could die. Yuto could die. It was risky and the odds were too stacked against us. I had to try though, anything was worth a shot if I could save him. It was the first thing that popped into my head and instead of swinging my fist i sent my leg flying up between his. With how hard I had struck him it felt like my shin had connected straight with his pelvic bone. Pain filled my calf but i was sure it wasn’t as strong as what he was feeling. The knife clanged to the ground as he crumpled along with it, holding himself as he groaned in pain. Yuto picked up the knife at lighting speed and managed to shove the other boy against the wall, pressing the blade to his neck. His tone was full of spite and anger and though he was speaking too fast for me to understand I could feel the fiery intent behind every syllable. Whatever it was, it scared the other guy into picking up his friend and dragging themselves away like wounded dogs. Yuto tossed the knife to the ground and before I could even ask if he was okay he grabbed onto my shoulders and shook me roughly.

"Are you fucking crazy?! You could've gotten hurt! Don't ever do that again!"

"I-im sorry!! I just-! You were in trouble and I didn’t know what else to do! I didn’t want you to get hurt either! I panicked!”

“You’re such an airhead sometimes! What would’ve happened if you had gotten stabbed, huh?! I cant...I can’t lose you...:” His voice softened at the end, so low that I could barely hear it. I didn’t expect him to be this emotional. Though we were good friends and shared laughs, Yuto was still blocked off when it came to deeper emotions. He was even more reserved when it came to affection but in this moment he pulled me to his chest and squeezed me as tight as he could. It shocked me completely, so much so that I didn’t even think to reciprocate the hug. I just stood there like an idiot as I felt every inch of his warmth flowing over me. It was so utterly comforting and something I didn’t think i needed throughout my time here in Japan but it seemed to heal all wounds. Eventually, it clicked in my head to wrap my arms around him and squeeze him just as tight. It felt so good and I didn’t want us to ever separate but he was the first to pull away. "Sorry I wasn't there to walk you to school."

"That doesn't matter now, idiot." I reached up and whacked my palm into his forehead gently. “Besides i’m pretty sure first bell already rang. I’m going to get into so much trouble. My parents are going to kill me when they find out and I really really realllllyyy don’t want to do detention. Is it as bad as they say it is?”

“I don’t know, i never did my detentions.” He said with a devious smile. “But I guess that just means we’ll have to skip entirely.”

“Are you insane!? That will get me into even more trouble! That’s the opposite of what I need!”

“Aww come on, live a little. You don’t always have to play by the rules. Sometimes it’s fun to break them. Besides, one day of skipping isn’t going to hurt you.”

"Adachi Yuto, are you saying I should become a juvenile delinquent just like you?"

"Hell yeah." 

We laughed, harder than we should of knowing the prospect of me getting in trouble loomed over us. Though I was scared of the consequences, the idea of spending the entire day with him released thousands of budding seeds of romance that I hadn’t really known had been inside me. Sure, i would notice his tender eyes and smile that lit up my entire world like the first sunrise but I didn’t think I had a crush on him! Or rather I ignored every single one of those feelings because I knew he wouldn’t be interested in me. It was a secret I had been harboring for fear of rejection and making our entire relationship weird. With a day of endless possibilities ahead of us I hoped that I could keep my secret and remain stoic. I slipped out of my overthinking and looked up at him. "Ok, I guess you convinced me enough. I’ll play hooky but just this once!”

“Whoa, really? I didn’t think you had it in you.” He nudged my arm playfully.

“I’m nervous but spending a day with you sounds much more exciting than listening to lectures that make my brain feel like its frying.”

“I’m excited to spend the day with you too…” His cheeks flushed then and he took a step back from the closeness leftover from our hug. He shoved his hands in his pockets and shuffled his weight on his feet. “Uh, I mean, um...like-uh...What would you want to do?”

"What do you normally do when you skip?" I asked.

"Get some snacks at the store then sit at home and watch One Piece reruns."

"Are you serious?" I giggled. "That's what Mr. "Serial Killer" does?"

"Hey! It’s relaxing! Sometimes I doze off, sometimes I do other stuff. It’s nice!”

“I’ve never watched One Piece before. Is it good?”

“Is it-? It’s AMAZING! It’s basically like the greatest anime of all time. Oh my god, we have to watch it now. We’re not doing anything else.”

I rolled my eyes and sighed. “What have I gotten myself into?!” I laughed. “Oh, wait. Your stuff.” We both dropped to the ground and started picking up the scattered contents of his bag. My eyes rested on a sketchpad that laid open, the pages now slightly torn and dirty but I could see precise linework and expressions the drawings held.

"Did you draw these?" I asked.

He snatched the book away from me and snapped it shut. "Nevermind this. It's nothing."

"Yuto, I think they were really nice."

"No, it's seriously nothing. Forget about it."

I set my hand on his shoulder and softened my voice. "You know you don't have to be embarrassed around me."

"I'm not-" He sighed. "I'm not embarrassed really. I just don't think I'm good."

"Of course you're good. They're amazing and I think you're talented."

"Really?"

"Has no one ever told you that before?" I asked.

"No…"

"Well I'm telling you now, ok? And I mean it."

Our eyes met and a slow shy smile creeped onto his face. He turned away instantly and mumbled some sort of thanks as he worked to stuff everything back in the bag. "Appreciate it."

I stood up and dusted my knees off. "What are friends for anyway?" I extended my hand to help him up which he took.

"Friends...yeah…"

"Wanna get those snacks now?"

He only nodded, retreating back to those simple answers I was used to. I held onto his arm as we walked, looking up at him every so often. It was starting to get harder and harder to ignore the feelings that kept trying to surface every time i was with him. I wished they would just disappear already. With him so close to me now i could feel my heart pounding. It got even worse when i felt his hand overwhelm mine suddenly. He was tugging me in the direction of the store but i couldnt take my eyes off our interlocked fingers. They were so warm and long, absolutely beautiful. I could just imagine the way he held a pencil while sketching his favorite characters. I wanted to watch him do what he loved the most. He lead me across the street and to the doors of the convenience store while i stayed wrapped in my head. It wasn’t until he asked me what i wanted that i snapped out of it. I looked around at some of the pre-made food trying to decipher what the labels said and what i could infer from what the food looked like. I was indecisive between a chicken or pork bento and but figured that Yuto would be able to help me decide.

I found him a few aisles over, bent over and looking at cell phone charms like he was trying to make a decision himself. “What are you looking at?”

He straightened up quickly and almost jumped when he saw me. “Oh, uh...nothing.”

I looked over the charms, noticing that they were of popular Sanrio characters. “These are so cute. Are you gonna get one?”

“What? Me? No way! I was looking at them for my...sister! For my sister, yeah. She likes Kerropi so…”

“Really? I like Cinnamaroll. He’s the cutest little thing ever.”

Yuto picked up both a Kerropi and Cinnamaroll charm. “I could get it for you if you want.” He said with a sheepish smile.

“You dont have to do that.” I giggled. “It’s more important that your sis-”

Suddenly, the store owner sped towards Yuto, yelling loudly and tugging at his uniform shirt. He was trying to shove Yuto out, accusing him of being a no good thief and that he should be in school. Yuto showed his empty pockets and held his bag out to be inspected but the shop owner wasn’t listening. Yuto turned to me. “Look, fuck this guy. I’ll just wait for you outside, ok?”

“But you havent done anything wrong! I dont understand why-”

“Doesnt matter. He just sees me as a punk kid because i’ve come in here a little banged up before. I’ll wait for you, ok?”

I didn’t have a say in what he was going to do so i didn’t waste my breath. I watched as he set the keychains down and left the store, the owner still yelling after him. I rushed to pay for everything and get back to him. I was riddled with anger and wanted to leave as soon as possible. “That pissed me off so fucking much.” I huffed.

Yuto shrugged and began walking in the direction of his home. “Don’t waste your energy on it. I’m used to it. You and I are a lot more alike than I thought. People shit on us for being so different and they dont even take the time to get to know us. If someone actually cares about me then they’ll show it. Those are the only people I can trust.”

“Do you think you can trust me?” I asked.

“I know I can trust you. You’re the only one who’s given me the time of day and didn’t think I was automatically an asshole. You talked to me and saw me as a person. I’m glad I met you.”

I stared down at my feet, hoping he wouldnt see the blossoming shyness spread across my entire face. I clutched at his arm as we walked, softly speaking. “I’m glad I met you too. You’re my best friend, Yuto.”

“I never thought I would have a best friend...or any friends for that matter.”

“Like you said, you don’t need anyone who doesn’t care about you. It’s us against the world.” It seemed a bit dramatic to say but it truly felt that way. There was no one that i felt could come between us or anything for that matter.

We arrived at Yuto’s home, a worn down small box with tattered screen doors. It shocked me but I didn’t want to say anything. I couldn’t be disrespectful but i was concerned more than anything. “Sorry it’s not fancy like your place.”

“I don’t care about what it looks like, i just want to make sure you’re ok.”

He stayed quiet as he opened the door which worried me further. Inside there were two cramped rooms, one of which was of course Yuto’s. He guided us in and sat against the wall, facing an old square tv that looked like it was salvaged from a junk yard. I sat beside him and set the bag of food down between us. “You forgot to take off your shoes when we came in.”

I immediately looked at my feet. “Oh my god! I’m sorry!” I rushed to take off my loafers but Yuto just chuckled.

“It’s fine, just set them by the bedroom door. I don’t mind.” I set them beside the door while he turned on the small tv, banging it a few times until a clear picture formed. He flicked through the channels until he found the one that showed One Piece. I pulled out the food I had gotten us and handed him a pair of cheap wooden chopsticks. 

“So,” I began. “Judging from your house set up you don’t have a sister, do you?”

He stilled for a moment then sighed. “Is this about the phone charm?”

I pulled out both charms from the shopping bag and held the Kerropi one out to him. “Now we can match. It kind of seems silly but I think it’s cute.” I pulled out my flip phone and threaded the charm through the small hole at the bottom then looked over at him. “Do you not like it?”

Yuto looked over at me, staring at me until nervousness settled in my stomach, almost making nausea hit me like a train. He inched forward, still leaving me to be an unsuspecting mess while his lips fell onto mine. My eyes widened and i completely froze. I had no idea what to do. This was my first kiss ever and it was with my best friend! Before i could even get my thoughts straight, it was over and we were back to being face to face and unsure of everything that transpired. “I’m sorry.” He said softly.

“W-what? I don’t understand…”

“i-I’ve liked you for some time now but...I wasn’t sure how you would feel. I just...i don’t know. I just felt like i shouldve kissed you. I was too afraid to tell you that I liked you. I thought you wouldn’t even give me the time of day.”

“Why would you even think that? I spend all this time with you. I trust you and im happy to see you every day. You’re the best part of my shitty life. And i want to spend it with you.” I settled my hand over his and was the one who leaned in this time, smiling as he grabbed onto my shoulder and held our kiss a little longer. We were lost in our own little world and I could finally be happy in this foreign place.

Suddenly the door slid open, barreling into the door frame and rattling it. Hovering above us was a man who looked just like Yuto, who I could only assume was his father. He was instantly yelling at us and Yuto scrambled to his feet, pulling me up with him. “You need to leave now!!”

“Yuto! What’s going on!?”

“Now!!!” He managed to shove me between the small gap in the door frame and his father. I grabbed my shoes quickly and tried to slip them on but his father was closing in on me as if i was a deadly target. Yuto grabbed onto his arm and i heard a hard thud against his jaw. I screamed after him, hating to see him hurt and wanting to obliterate his father but i was powerless to stop him. I couldn’t take him down or prevent him from hurting the person who I cared about the most. All i could do was stand in horror while Yuto screamed at me to leave. Tears were rolling down my face as i sped out of the home and towards my own. That was the last time I saw him.

--

The streets were bustling, the summer air thick and heavy. Thousands of people crowding the sidewalk didn’t provide any relief either. Lights were flashing everywhere; neon, iridescent, and beckoning. I had no idea what I even wanted to do tonight. A club, a bar, a cafe? I hadn’t been back in a decade- everything seemed new again. Nerve wracking and exciting. I wanted to make new memories. Memories that wouldn’t haunt me and instead make me happy. I wanted to think of Japan as my home away from home. Right now she was still a stranger. I could only see her through the eyes of tourist, which I absolutely hated but it was a start. That’s how I ended up following the crowd, wondering where it would take me. Wreckless? Yes, absolutely. My japanese was still rusty even though I tried my best to pick it up again. Getting lost still and not being able to communicate weighed heavy on my mind. The sense of adventure outweighed my fright and I carried on, looking for my next stop.

My eyes got lost in the crowd every once in awhile, observing the school girls, the punks, the lolitas, and regular office people ebbing and flowing. One particular person caught my eye- he was towering over most everyone, cell phone to his ear. That was when I saw it, a dangling charm nudging across his wrist as he walked. It looked worn, faded, the bright green now a washed out chartreuse. I swallowed hard. It couldn’t be. Of course not. The chances were too miniscule. Besides, Keroppi wasn’t that much of a popular character but I couldn’t get the thought out of my head. Just maybe it could be. I was about to embarrass myself but it was worth a shot.

“Adachi!” I screamed over the roar of the crowd. His head whipped around and my heart stopped. People moved past us and we remained several feet apart. He didn’t look like the Yuto I remembered. He was bigger, definitely. His biceps were struggling to stay beneath his short sleeves, his black denim vest staying open wide against his broad chest and shoulders. His arms were covered fully in tattoos and for a minute I thought I had made a mistake. That was until he speed towards me, his long legs carrying him in quick strides, closing the space between us in seconds. He said my name in that all too familiar honey smooth baritone that made me want to drop to my knees. It sounded deeper than it had in high school, carrying the weight of the unspoken things we wanted to do as teenagers. I looked up at him, a smile forming on both our faces before he squeezed me tight to his tall frame.

“Holy fucking shit!! I can’t believe it’s you! What are you doing here?” He exclaimed. His eyes still remained in a state of disbelief as he looked me over.

My hands rested on his biceps as I still didn’t want to pull away completely. “I-i’m here on vacation. I haven’t been back in years. I wanted to come back and...and make better memories I guess. I never thought I would see you again. Or that you would remember me.” My voice trailed off a bit at the end.

“How could I ever forget you?” The words took me by surprise, as well as his laugh after. “You had the biggest crush on me, remember?!”

I rolled my eyes, pretending playfully that the statement wasn’t true. “You wouldn’t leave me alone and I always had to take care of you because you were a pain in the ass! Always getting into trouble. All I did for that year was clean blood off you with all the fights you got into. Besides you had a crush on me too!!”

“What can I say, you like those bad boy types, don’t you?” He shifted his weight a bit and let out a small chuckle. “What are you doing right now? Going someplace special?”

I shook my head, gently moving him out of the way of the main part of the crowd. He leaned against a street sign as I stayed close to him. “Nothing really. I thought I’d just come here and see what I could find. I got tired of doing tourist shit during the day. I wanted to do something better.”

“You came here alone?” He asked and I nodded. “That’s pretty ballsy for you. Last time I checked your Japanese was shit.”

“Thanks, Asshole.” I replied in his native tongue and he threw back his head and laughed.

“I think I taught you that one.” 

“You did, and now I can use it against you...Also you still have Keroppi.”

His deep brown eyes flew to his cell phone that was clutched in his hand, the slightest tinge of pink decorating his cheeks. He kinda shrugged and didn’t say anything. I smiled and dug into my small purse, pulling out my own cell phone. I held it up to him so he could see the cinnamaroll charm I too had dangling from my phone. It had long lost it’s complete white color, instead getting dirty from it’s time at the bottom of my bag or from being stuffed into the pocket of my jeans. “You’re kidding?” He said, his expressing changing completely. “Why do you still have that?!”

“Why do you still have Keroppi?” I shot back.

He looked away for a moment, pretending to stretch as his free hand rested on the back of his neck. “I...well...I missed what we had...and I was angry that you had left. I didn’t have it on my phone for awhile and I guess...I don’t know really.”

I stared down at my feet. I had never gotten to tell him the reason why I had left so abruptly. I had never wanted to leave him behind, not after everything we had shared together. But i was ripped away from Japan almost as soon as I was implanted there. “I never forgot about you.” I confessed. “I want to apologize for leaving and not getting a chance to say goodbye.”

He shrugged again, trying to keep up his nonchalant facade. “Forget it. It’s cool. You’re here now, so...you wanna go to a bar with me? We’ll drink some beer and get some food.”

“Hell yeah. I haven’t eaten in a bit. Where are you thinking?”

“There’s a spot in Shibuya that’s by my place. We can go there.”

“Perfect. Lead the way.”

He nodded in the direction of the train station and I followed him, holding onto his arm tightly so I wouldn’t lose him again.

--

I tossed back the rest of my third beer almost spitting it out when Yuto brought up another fond memory. “Remember when I made you watch One Piece for the first time and you just had this look on your face like ‘What the absolute fuck?’”

I nodded before swallowing. “I had never watched anime a day in my life. Well I guess Pokemon counts. And Yu-Gi-Oh. But I never did much after. But here you were a secret nerd, drawing in your little sketchbook and wanting to be a famous manga-ka.”

“Yeah, I tossed that shit out when I dropped out of high school.” He sipped on his beer licking the foam from his lips. He picked up his chopsticks, turning the meat on the grill between us so it wouldn’t burn. “Hung around some people I shouldn't have, went to jail for a bit, discovered tattooing and here I am now.”

“Yuto Adachi! You’re insane. What did you go to jail for? I-if you don’t mind me asking.”

He reclined back in his seat and took another swig of his beer. “Petty theft, a few other misdemeanors. Nothing serious. It’s whatever. What did you do, princess? After you left…”

I chewed on an already cooked piece of beef, opening my mouth in between bites to try and cool the burning sensation in my mouth. I swallowed after a minute of chewing and sighed. “My parents died. That’s why I left. It was some freak accident on the plane ride back home. They were going back just for a few days for some medical convention thing. And well...I couldn’t stay here on my own so I got taken back to live with my grandparents.”

“Fuck.” He whispered. “I’m sorry.”

“Shit happens. I couldn’t do anything about it. I miss them everyday but time moves on. We move on. But that’s basically why I didn’t say goodbye. It all happened so fast. I didn’t even get a chance to breathe.”

We fell into a heavy silence. Only the sizzling of meat on the grill and the raucous patrons interrupting it. I looked over at him, seeing him watching me, and I felt bad for ruining the mood. “Sorry to be such a downer.” I tried to laugh it off a bit but it was definitely forced.

“Don’t be. Like you said shit happens. You’re here now, right? Dynamic duo back together again. I’ll show you better stuff than that tourist shit.” He split the rest of the beer he had in his glass between us then held it up for me to clink mine against. “Kanpai.”

I repeated the saying and we both swallowed back the golden liquid. “Anyway, after I went back, i finished high school, went to college. Got an office job. You know.”

“Wow, living the boring ass American dream, huh? You got a scrawny white boyfriend to go along with that?”

“Yuto!” I chucked an end piece of beef at him, watching it bounce of his chest and into his lap. He tossed it into his mouth and laughed.

“What? Asians do it better I’m just saying.” He finished off his beer, a smirk resting on his lips as he drank. His eyes locked onto mine and i couldn’t help the blush that creeped onto my face.

“I’ve been free from your annoying ass for years and this is what I get as soon as I come back? Wonderful.”

He rested his elbows on the table leaning towards me a little. “You can get a little more. It’s early, there’s still plenty to do.”

“Like what? You gonna take me to some like kinky Japanese sex club?” I joked.

“If you want to. I have no problem with that. What kinks are you into?”

“Oh my god, i was joking!” I hid my face behind my hands to try and cover up how much redder it was getting. All Yuto did was laugh at me, making me even more embarrassed.

“Me too, I’ll take you to my shop if you want. I got some of my guys there working but I wouldn’t mind taking you to see it.”

“Your shop? Like you own it?”

“Yep. Why? You don’t think I could be a successful business man?” He laughed.

“No...no. I mean...I’m proud of you. Look at you having your shit together, Adachi.”

“Hah! Barely. That’s a fun thought though.” He stood up from his chair and nodded at me to head over to the cashier for us to check out. He pushed my hand away when I offered to pay and instead handed over his card. I didn’t protest much, pretending that i didn’t enjoy free food or when men paid for it. We exited the restaurant and started walking down the streets that were less crowded in the area. All of our careless times together came up. The laughs we had over watching variety shows and anime together in his dark, hole in the wall bedroom. The few times our hands intertwined and the barely there kisses we were too afraid to ever mention. Yuto had always made my heart pound and even now there wasn’t a difference. I watched as he pressed a cigarette between his lips stopping just for a second to light it. I would be definitely pretending if I said that I wasn’t attracted to his bad boy persona. The way he carried himself- defensive yet protective, angry yet passionate, rough yet sensitive, all of those feelings from the past kept rushing back.

When we arrived at his shop there were a few customers towards the back, only separated by small wall barriers. The rest of his crew were in front, laughing over a few beers and practically cheering when he came in. He greeted them with hand slaps and awkward bro hugs while i surveyed the shop. It was cute. The setup seemed more personal rather than stuck up and like a doctor’s office. I overheard some of the guys talking about me, saying not so subtle pervy statements which Yuto shut down immediately. I pretended like I didn’t know a damn thing and let Yuto take my hand and steer me away from them. “Sorry, they’re all idiots.”

I shrugged, laughing a bit. “Don’t worry, I’m just the stupid foreigner. I’m none the wiser.”

“C’mon, don’t say that. You know I don’t think of you that way.” He kissed the back of my hand, deterring my quip. “Do you want to see my office?”

“Yeah, let me see where you work your magic.”

He unlocked a door to the left of us and lead me in. The space was much wider than the rest of the tattooing area and covered in framed artwork that he had done. He had only improved since years past, creating perfect masterpieces of contrasting light, crisp lines, and delicate details. It took my breath away. “Holy fuck.” Was the only way I could of expressing myself.

“What?” He chuckled. “Are the walls too full Does it seem claustrophobic?”

“No, i was actually amazed by your art. You’ve gotten even better since high school. They’re so good.”

“Ehh, it’s nothing fancy. Just kind of how I like to center myself, better than getting in trouble. My office is like my home away from home. Even though my apartment is above the shop.”

I circled around the tattooing bed and peeked into his cabinets of supplies. “Have you ever...fucked anyone here?” I asked cheekily.

“What? No way! One, that’s not sterile. Two, i could lose my license. Three, that’s just gross. Besides, I’m not an out in the open kind of guy. If i’m going to do something it sure as hell wouldnt be in here. Don’t be a perv.”

“I’m joking!” I hit his chest playfully. “I’m just curious about the man you’ve become.”

“What kind of man do you think I am?”

I plastered myself against one of the undecorated walls and stared down at my feet. “I don’t know. I know you’re still caring. And still a trouble maker. And...possibly still a good kisser too.”

“A good kisser? I barely knew what I was doing when we first kissed!”

“It was still nice! It was soft and slow. I liked that.”

He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back against the counter of his supply space. “Do you...want to maybe find out if i’ve improved?”

“I don’t know. You tell me. We’re bad at flirting.” We both smiled as he stepped closer to me, cupping my face in his hand. He was slow to lower his lips to mine but when he did i clutched onto his shirt, pulling him flush against me. I was crushed between him and the wall, not protesting at all as I liked how strong and sturdy he felt. It was only mere seconds before our kiss got hungrier, deeper, and filled with long overdue moans that drove us wild. We only broke apart to catch our breaths that felt like they had been held for ages.

“Wow…” I whispered.

“What’s the verdict?”

“Definitely still good.” I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him in for another round. His large hands grabbed onto my waist, gripping as tightly as he could and accidentally crashed us into the counter. I felt the corner jab into my back and winced in pain. “Ow! Fuck!”

“Shit! Sorry! Sorry!” He looked around the still tight space. “This isn’t going to work out. Do you maybe want to go upstairs? To my place?”

I smiled a big lovey dovey dopey smile, all giggles and giddiness at the prospect of us finally being together. I nodded quickly and he grabbed onto my hand, pulling me out of the office. We tried to slip away as quietly as we could to Yuto’s apartment, not wanting to let his coworkers see us leave though a few teasing whistles followed us as we went up the flight of stairs. When we arrived at the door, he smoothly set the key in the lock and turned it. His hands weren't shaking at all but it felt like my entire body was rattling in anticipation. Once inside I could barely see as the apartment was so dark. Only haphazardly thrown city lights that fell through the window illuminating the sparsely decorated space. The lack of light didn't bother me much as I would much rather feel my way over his body. I expected him to take control, maybe push me up against the door or wall, pick me up and toss me on the bed, but he just stood there.

His weight shuffled between each foot as his gaze was more occupied by the carpet than me. "Yuto? Are you ok?" I whispered. For some reason it felt like I shouldn't startle him.

"What? Oh, yeah, i-i am…"

"You're not really doing anything...Do you not want to anymore?"

"N-no! No! I do! It's just that…" He sighed and looked like he wanted to shrink away. "I got nervous all of a sudden."

I knew Yuto had a soft side but I felt like he had been so confident back at the restaurant. His nervousness now shocked me. "Nervous? Why?"

"It's been so long. We've...I'm sure we've both wanted this since we were teenagers and now that you're here I don't want to fuck this up."

"What makes you think you will?! Yuto…" I pulled him close to me by his hands. "Yuto...don't think that, ok?" I placed soft kisses on his lips while feeding him comforting words. I didn't want him to feel pressured into perfection. I much preferred us to have a good time and not think about all the events that culminated up to this moment. We never thought that this chance encounter would happen or that we would end up in each other's arms again but now that we were it seemed more like a fantasy than reality. "Just give me you. It's all I want."

He pressed his forehead against mine and held onto my waist once more. "But I want it to be. I want it to be perfect."

"No, don't do that to yourself. I care about us making each other feel good, ok? That's all I want, swear it. Let me make you feel good."

He nodded with a heavy sigh, still a bit tentative. I decided to take over, hoping that catering to him would ease his nerves and spark that bit of confidence in him again. I shifted our positions so that his back was now against the wall as I caressed his chest and covered him in more kisses. Through the desperate battle of our lips I managed to slip my hands under the hem of his shirt and shuffle it upwards. He pulled it off by the collar, tossing it somewhere beside us while I became completely entranced by his toned body. The tight v neck he had worn left nothing to the imagination but seeing every inch of his torso uncovered was much more pleasurable than having a fabric barrier between us. 

I worked my hands over every dip and striation in his muscles before lowering myself slowly, winding kissing in a heated trail down to the waistband of his jeans. When I was on my knees looking up at him, he seemed to want to protest. He gripped onto my shoulder and pushed against me ever so slightly. I ignored him, shoving his hand aside, as I busied myself with unbuttoning his jeans and pulling them down to the middle of his thighs. With just enough room to expose the front of his underwear, i began to tease him with coy licks through the fabric. He let out a shaky breath as I started to increase the length of my licks flowing over the beginnings of his hardening cock. I felt the tension in his thighs finally dissipate and with him relaxing more I eased my mouth over his head and sucked slowly.

His large hand pressed into the back of my skull, not too rough or hard but enough to signal that he wanted more. I moved his underwear down to rest above his jeans, licking my lips as I saw him. I bit my lip for just a second, thinking of all the possibilities of what he would make me feel. I wanted to see his full potential and with that I wrapped my lips around him once more, guiding him so he filled my mouth. I increased the speed of my sucks, hollowing out my cheeks and gripping his base loosely. His hips worked against me, creating a flowing rhythm that coaxed soft, deep moans from him. His voice was like silk; a sensual melody that made goosebumps spread across my arms. I had always had a secret attraction to his voice but hearing it in this manner had me pressing my thighs together.

His fingertips dug into my scalp as his fingers clenched harder around my hair. His thrusts were becoming greedier as he arched his body from the wall. I looked up at him at the same moment he had happened to look down at me. Though i was hard to flex my occupied mouth into a smile, I was sure he could at least see how much I was beaming. He let out a small gasp and turned away then, shying away again. I released him, licking my lips to clear the saliva linked between us. I fisted my hand over his shaft instead, working tight strokes over his length. “Are you going to be shy all night, Mr. Beefy Tattoo Artist Man?”

“S-shut up.” He grumbled. “I’m not shy…”

I tried to hide my giggle as much as possible, knowing he was trying to keep up his tough act and failing miserably. I gave his tip as quick kiss before I rose to my feet. “I think the blush on your cheeks say otherwise.” I teased as I grabbed his hand. I tugged him forward, working my way through his apartment in search of his bedroom.

He ignored my little taunt and instead guided me in the direction of his room, all while trying to keep his pants up. I opened the door and he let my hand go to head over to the small lamp by his bed. He flicked it on and kicked off his jeans before plopping down on the mattress. He reclined back on his arms, legs slightly open and gave me the once over. “I don’t think it’s fair that you’re still dressed.”

“Oh? You dont?” I chuckled. “Does that mean I should do one of those cheesy strip teases where I toss my bra at you?”

“No way!” A big grin crossed his face as he grabbed onto my wrist and yanked me to stand between his thighs. “You’re such a dork, you know that?.”

I pushed his long jet black bangs away from his face and kissed his forehead. “Well, duh. Wait,” A question suddenly popped into my train of thought. “Do you still watch One Piece?”

“We’re about to fuck and that’s what you ask me?” He said, incredulously.

“I’m just curious! I dont know...I remembered when we were in your room and we were watching it together and I gave you the phone charm. And then we had our first kiss.” I shrugged meekly and buried my head in his chest. I was now tha one who was embarrassed that I had brought up such a dumb question at a time like this.

He kissed the top of my head and chuckled. “Trust me, I’ve never forgotten that day. And to answer your question, yes I still do.”

“Is it still on tv?!”

“Not really but the manga continued so i read that online. It’s never gonna stop, I swear. I think theres like over 800 chapters or something.”

“Who goes on that many pirate adventures?! Why in the world would-” I stopped myself as I realized if I kept talking we were going to end up on a tirade about anime. “Sorry, this isn’t really the best dirty talk, huh?”

He smiled and ran his hands over my hips. “Honestly, you’re still turning me on. I’m not that great at dirty talk anyway. I think I sound weird. I like having a nice conversation instead. Takes away from me feeling so tense.” He slipped a couple of fingers beneath my chin, raising my head to feed me a round of kisses. This time they were a bit more gentler, slower even. My heart warmed at his tenderness, fluttering a bit when the tip of his tongue grazed against my bottom lips as if he was asking for permission to deepen the kiss. I parted my lips and leaned into him more. He lowered himself back on the mattress, letting me straddle his hips and give him room to slide his hands beneath my shirt. His brushed his hands up and down my sides, flowing upwards every so often to cup my breasts and knead them within his long fingers. I tried to bite back a small moan but it escaped into his mouth and caused a chain reaction of sensations. His hips bucked up between my thighs and I could feel his hardness against the center of my jeans. His thumbs trapped my nipples in a small and tantalizing pinch and his teeth sunk into my lip and tugged on it slightly.

“Take this off.” He whispered against my jaw that he began to turn his attention to. He grabbed at my shirt and i sat back on his hips, separating us for a moment to pull it over my head. My bra came next, letting me be completely open to stare at. He used his strength to toss me down, hovering over me this time. With my body now more exposed for him, his tongue was much more enthusiastic about sliding over my chest and capturing my nipple between his lips. I eased into a sigh, falling into the bliss of the simplistic movement. His fingers trickled down my stomach before hooking onto the button of my jeans. He flicked it open and slid the zipper down to give space for his hand to fall beneath my panties. I inched my legs apart more and set one hand on the back of his head and the other to hold onto his broad shoulder. I felt his middle finger move between my lower lips, stroking the length of it and coming back to circle around my clit. I breathed out his name as my nails sunk into his skin, trying to ground myself into reality before I lost it completely.

"This ok?" He murmured once his lips left one of my nipples. I found it strange that he was checking in on me- no one had really done that for me before, especially when going so slow.

"Ah...um, yeah. Why wouldn't it be?" I asked.

He hid behind his bangs that had fallen over his forehead again. "I don't know," he shrugged. "Just figured I'd ask."

"I swear I'm ok. I'm not a delicate flower, you should know that by now." I joked.

"Yeah, don't punch me in the nose please."

"You're the one who taught me how to fight anyway." We smiled as I gripped onto my underwear and jeans and slid them off. "This is better. More room for your big ass hand and long fingers."

"A-ah...well…"

I hooked my leg around his waist and set his hand back between my thighs. "Keep going...please."

He sighed softly and slipped back into his motions, coating his fingers with my cum and working long strokes over me. I wiggled my hips in time with him, creating more heated friction that made my stomach clench. Soon enough he pushed a solitary finger inside, pressing me open just a bit and curling against my sensitive walls. I could feel his eyes raking over me; the way my back arched and hands flowed over my chest. A rumble came from deep within his throat and suddenly I could feel his breath ghosting over my clit. The heat of his tongue enveloped me while his finger still worked away, another one being added to the mix. I moved one of my hands to grip his hair, wanting his tongue to be engraved into my skin. He was cautious with his licks too, easing the tip of his tongue up and down almost in time with his fingers. I had never been blessed with someone as attentive as him. Every detail mattered.

His knuckles nudged against my entrance, signaling that all of the length of his fingers was inside me. The tips of his fingers were circling around an extremely delicate area which made a shrill moan escape me. It was similar to a childish squeak and I didn’t know that I could even make that sound, let alone embarrass myself even further. I felt him chuckle against me in a self satisfactory and smug kind of way. I tugged on his hair as a little payback and instead of a protest I got a little growl from him. Fever washed over me like a torrid wave, flowing with the tease of an orgasm. My thighs clamped around his head, making me feel like I was suffocating him but I couldnt help it. Gone was my sense of coherence as his tongue wiggled its way in beside his fingers and made me lose control. My legs tensed around him tighter, my fingers dug into his scalp, and my breath was completely gone. I felt him tap the side of my thigh as he wanted release. I eased myself down and unlocked my vice grip on him, allowing him to surface again.

“You trying to kill me?” He chuckled as he licked his lips.

“S-sorry.” I panted. “I couldn’t help it!”

He crawled on top of me, only lowering his head for a kiss. “Well, i’m glad you enjoyed it, babe. I could probably get used to suffocating between your thighs anyhow.”

I smushed his head away playfully and turned onto my stomach. "Get out of here!"

"Now who's the shy one?" I felt him work kisses down my spine, swirling patterns into my skin every few vertebrae. His hands smoothed over my hips, gently rubbing over them before cupping my ass.

"I'm not being shy!" I said, slightly muffled by the pillow I was gripping onto. "You're just...hmm…" I tried to wiggle away but he wrapped his arms around my ribcage and held me against his chest. I could feel his hardness poking at the junction of my thighs, teasing me with its subtle throbbing and neediness.

"I'm what?" He squeezed me tighter as he buried his face in my neck, distracting me with pecks.

"You're just...you know...good. You feel good. You feel like how I always dreamt you would." I slid my hand over his and intertwined our fingers tightly.

"I could say the same about you. Though you feel way way way more amazing." He kissed the back of my hand and pulled away for a moment to reach under his bed.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Getting a condom from my bin, why?"

"Why is it under your bed?!" I nudged him.

"It's my secret stash, okay! Leave me alone." He laughed and sat back up on the bed as he ripped open the foil.

"Who are you keeping secrets from, huh?" I asked as I booped his nose.

"No one! I told you I don’t like being out in the open!" He wrinkled his nose and shifted away from me to pull the condom on.

"Oh? What kind of other stuff you got in there, huh? Let me see!" I dove forward and tried to take a peek under his bed but Yuto grabbed me and pinned me down, using all his weight on top of me.

"Dont be such a pain in the ass!"

I nudged my ass back against him, giving it a little wiggle. "Maybe i like being a pain in the ass!" I teased. It was fun having banter like this. It felt so natural; i was with my best friend after all. We were all too comfortable with each other and that made every passing moment, every giggle, every kiss and squeeze all the better. I was still laughing but Yuto had quieted down. Instead of poking fun, his hands wrapped around my hipbones. He jerked my body onto its knees and i could feel him sliding through the wetness he had created. I pursed my lips, instantly shutting up as my breath stilled. My eyes fluttered shut, closing out the rest of the world and only focusing on him. I could no longer hear the buzzing of tattoo machines downstairs or how loud his coworkers laughed. Yuto's soft whispers of praises were the only thing floating around my head.

He splayed one of his hands on my lower back, adding just a bit of force so i dipped my stomach towards the bed. His other hand nudged between us to line himself up with my awaiting eagerness, guiding his head in. We both sucked in a harsh breath that seemed to be held until he was full seated inside. Neither of us moved; it was as if time had stopped and both of us hadnt changed. "Y-you ok?" His voice was barely a whisper.

"Ye-yeah. It's fine. Totally fine." I looked back at him over my shoulder. "Go ahead and move.”

He nodded, accepting my permission. His thighs wedged between my own, forcing my legs apart wider. He pulled back, readying his first thrust and when he returned it was like i could feel every inch within the pit of my stomach. My fingers clenched around the pillow as I was stunned by how deep he was getting. Even with such little time connected together I could feel my nerves rocketing under my skin. Something about the way his hands seemingly never wanted to leave my body or the way he kept forcing my hips back against him to keep the perfect rhythm between us was making me a frenzied mess. Every slam of my ass against his hips was like heaven, which seemed silly for me to say. The past men in my life were selfish and nothing to brag about. But with Yuto it was like he was worshiping me, treating me like a queen who deserved to feel nothing but pleasure.

I shuddered when I felt his lips ghost over my spine. He kissed each vertebrae as he made his way up towards my neck when his lips resided against my ear. The softness of his labored breaths filled my eardrum and made me freeze under him. “I cant believe you feel this good.” His voice was trembling slightly as he worked through his thrusts, his bashfulness surfacing again. He had pockets of confidence but more waves of shyness which was how he always was. A defender and fighter for me and for himself but the softest angel beneath. Perhaps that was what made me fall in love in the first place.

“Years of thinking about you just like this probably gave me some practice.” I chortled but still was completely serious.

“You thought about me when you touched yourself?” He asked, astonished.

“Almost always, though it was a bit hard to picture what you looked like as an adult. I was able to still imagine what you would feel like. But you beat my expectations.” I bit onto my bottom lip as i rolled myself back against him, the tip of his cock teasing the beginnings of my entrance just a bit.

“You thought about the way I’d feel right here?” His hand pressed against my lower stomach, pairing with a swift thrust. “Or maybe here?” He traversed lower to circle the pads of his fingertips over my clit bringing a sharp gasp out of me. I nodded, pathetically admitting more to my dirty little secret that only seemed to entice him more. “I like that...:” His deep voice was accompanied by a long lick to the shell of my ear. His teeth dug into the tender cartilage, a hidden turn on of mine. His movements became stronger and it felt as if the bed was shifting beneath us. I pulled the pillow taught against my chest, clutching onto it for dear life as if it would keep me grounded and hold out long enough for a full explosion of desire. Through his sturdy plunges his fingers remained giving attention to my sensitive bud, a bit haphazard but still focused enough to make my toes plant themselves into the mattress. I brought my hand down to cover his, guiding him into the motions that I wanted a bit better. All the attention was making me a puddle of lust that was ready to dive headfirst into losing control.

“Yuto.” I whimpered. “P-please…”

He stopped suddenly and pulled away before shifting me onto my back. He grabbed my jaw firmly, forcing me to look at him. “I want to see you when you do.”

My eyes widened in surprise as his erotic statement, never expecting him to utter such a thing. A small smirk crossed his lips which folded over mine, prying into my mouth and bringing our tongues together. He shifted himself to fall back into my heat while his hand left my face and tangled our fingers together. I squeezed his hand and wrapped my legs around his torso as beads of sweat formed at my temples. He was everything I needed in this moment, or rather my life but i wasnt sure how to face those feelings yet. In two weeks I would leave but now I had a reason to stay. I couldn’t leave for fear of not seeing him for another ten years. Tears prickled behind my eyelids and i tried to will them away. I couldn’t be enveloped by sadness when i was the happiest i’ve ever been.

Yuto left my lips with a small nibble and moved his kisses down to my chest. He infused the valley between my breasts with rushed presses, shifting to wraps his lips around my nipple again and suck deeply. My body arched into his, falling into temptation as my thighs squeezed his torso. His free hand cupped my other breast, pinching the nipple to life. I wrapped my arm under his, my fingers extending over the muscles that rippled beneath his skin with every thrust he made. The swelling of his hardness only stretched me further, making me clamp down and force him to work through the tightness. His lips left my chest only to utter my name in a staggered breath. He lifted his head to see my eyes flutter close. His thumb returned to my clit, more vigorous in its fevered circles but not having to work long before i gave in. Everything rushed out of me; tension, my orgasm, my breath, his name. It was all gone in seconds and his gaze never left me. He placed a kiss on my forehead before burying himself in my neck. 

He slipped his arm across my lower back, lifting my hips while i propped myself on my elbows. He rutted his hips in rough circles, gaining speed as he got closer to his own orgasm. Him fucking me just like this was a perfect contrast to us making love and the most delicious ending to our night. I held his head against my neck, nesting my fingers in his hair and assuring him that I wanted him to cum for me, cum hard and cum fast. His hold on me tightened and i was suddenly filled with heat spreading within me. We stayed together for a bit, holding onto each other before the fatigue set in big time. Slowly, we eased onto our backs, laying beside one another with our hands still being held between us.

“Damn,” Yuto chuckled. “You’re making me wish you could stay here forever.”

The sad realization returned and i let go of him to try and distance the feelings that were wedged between us. “I’m only here for two weeks…”

“Yeah? Well at least that’s two weeks of us...you know.” He gave me a wink but noticed my somber demeanor. “What’s wrong?”

“Yuto, I…” I took a deep breath and barely wanted to exhale. “I’ve been in love with you since we were kids. During the decade we were apart I tried to love other people but you were always in the back of my mind. I’m not sure if it was the same for you but now that we’ve somehow met again I don’t know what to do. When i go back home I’ll just miss you again.”

“I didn’t really want to think about this because it hurts too much. I don’t know what to do either. I want you here but we both have lives in different parts of the world. I can’t ask you to up and leave just to be with me. And i have my business here.”

“We’d be so far apart. What if I don’t see you again for another decade?” I sniffled.

“Babe,” He sighed and pulled me to him. “I won’t let that happen. Not again. Our parents aren’t hovering above us anymore. We’re free now. It will be hard but...if you want it then let’s do it.”

“I do want it but...i’m scared.”

“Scared? Of what?”

“Of losing you. I have no idea when I’ll see you again.”

“You don’t have to worry about that.” He said. “Remember how I fought for you all those years ago? Nothing’s changed. I wont ever let you go.”

[knifeshoeoreofight]

He keeps dreaming of snow. 

It’s July. The weather is warm and sticky, and the sun has been blazing hot for weeks. And he dreams about snow.

It’s the same every time. A lake fringed with dark trees, the ice covered in a flawless expanse of white. Blank and perfect. In the dream, he has a pair of skates slung over his shoulder by the laces. When he swings them down to untie the knots and get them on his feet, they’re always a different pair he recognizes.

The first pair of good skates he’d received as a child, still able to fit him in the boundless logic of dreaming. He’d fallen asleep clutching them to his chest when he’d gotten them that Christmas. Stuffed dog under one arm, skates under the other. 

The beat up pair he hid in Rimouski, so that he could practice even after they took away his regular skates. The same ones he’d take to play shinny in the park, just to feel a little normal. Free.

The pair he wore to win gold in Vancouver, gleaming and perfect. 

In the dream he sits on a snowbank and pulls the skates on, and then he’s on the ice. You can’t skate on snow-covered ice, but it doesn’t seem to matter. Dream logic again.

The dark trees around the lake never grow closer, no matter how hard he skates for the opposite shore. Always, he ends up standing in the middle of that blank, unsettling expanse of white, frustrated. When he looks behind him, there’s never a mark in the featureless snow to show where he’s been. Nothing.

And he wakes up then, usually, disturbed and wondering why the fuck he’s dreaming that dream again. 

***

He’s busy enough.The flurry of early summer weddings has petered out, finally. He loves his friends’ happiness, but the annual glut gets…old. Exhausting.

He has a few media obligations, some pre-planned get togethers with Nate and any of the boys who happen to be in town. He’s ramping up the training. But he still has too much damn time to brood in between it all. You’d think he’d be able to get the bad taste of last season out of his mouth by now, but it lingers, their ignominious playoff exit following him like a shadow.

He fishes, he paddleboards. He golfs. He trains some more. He tries going to the farmer’s market and has to leave after fifteen minutes because of the commotion his appearance causes. He teaches himself how to make gluten free parmesan chicken from the Internet.

He checks social media, liking pictures of babies and dogs and summertime shenanigans on Instagram. He uploads a photo of his dock at sunrise to his private one, to a flurry of likes and chirping about being a boring old man, fishing all day. 

It’s a little funny but it stings a bit too. He doesn’t like to think of himself as old. He’s not, by ordinary standards. But he is in hockey years, and it terrifies him sometimes. 

He should post more often, then maybe he’d get less shit from the guys. He’d only made his account in the first place so that he could follow the people that mattered to him. 

He wakes up early to find that Geno commented a string of parentheses and a couple incomprehensible emojis. 

He’s given up trying to interpret what Geno means by them; he’s 90% sure he just picks the weirdest ones possible just to fuck with people. 

Sid ponders what to respond, and finally settles on turtle, Brazillian flag, paperclip. There, let him have a taste of his own medicine. 

i dont get it, jake posts underneath. Probably sex stuff, replies Flower. better not to ask. 

Asshole, Sid replies, and feels his face flush. It’s all meant as a joke, but thinking of sex and Geno too close together is always a problem, and he buries the well-worn thing he doesn’t acknowledge like he always does. 

***

The next time he has the dream, there’s someone else there. He doesn’t see them, but their presence behind him lies on him like a weight.

He stops in the middle of the lake like he always does. The presence behind him stops too.

“Hey,” Sid says, more as an inquiry than a greeting.

Some small bit of dream-awareness slots into place, and he knows that it’s Geno, behind him.

“Three years Superleague, huh?” Sid says. It’s good, and right, Geno standing behind him.

***

More training. A podcast recording with Biz and Whit that actually ends up being a lot of fun. Just shooting the shit and swapping stories. 

They ask him about Geno, of course, angling for some dirt, some “ha ha he’s so Russian” and “what a bully” kind of shit. Sid doesn’t give them anything.

Geno, Sid has always thought, is more just like an enormous cat. A little moody and opinionated, liking things to be just so. Affectionate and friendly only on his own terms. He’s always wondered if that was mostly due to the language barrier, or if it’s just how Geno is. He used to watch whenever Geno spoke to Gonch, or his friends on other teams. Listen to the faster cadence of his voice, the expansive movements of his hands, the expressiveness of his face. Trying to figure out who Geno really was when he was comfortable and at ease.

He used to watch Geno way too much in those days.

It’s still a problem sometimes.

Geno always treated Sid a little differently. All of his brash pushiness is tempered a little. He always looks into Sid’s eyes when Sid is trying to tell him something, leaning in and listening with his whole body. Sid has never taken that deference and respect for granted, treating Geno’s fierce loyalty as the precious honor it is.Geno gives zero consequence to people he’s decided he doesn’t like or respect. He isn’t like Sid, he doesn’t bother to reign in his colossal emotions or attempt a veneer of politeness or charm. If he’s done with you he’s done with you. 

Geno is Geno, and Sid, god help him, has always loved him for it.

***

He has the dream again, and it’s accompanied by a creeping sense of dread. He and the Geno-presence take to the ice. In the middle of the lake, instead of smooth white, the snow is broken by a series of jagged cracks, dark water sloshing malevolently inches from Sid’s skates. 

“Fuck, look out–” he tells Dream-Geno, but Dream-Geno steps past him, for the first time.

“Geno!” Sid tries to scream, but he doesn’t have the air. In the disjointed way of dreams, Sid just knows that Dream-Geno is in the water now, even if he didn’t see anything happen. 

He drops to his knees, and reaches out. The water looks liquid, but his fingers scrabble along it like it’s ice. He claws at it, horror and desperation cresting over him. He’s trying to scream Geno’s name, but he can’t- he just can’t- 

When he wakes up, he’s gasping, heart trying to pound its way out of his chest. He’s disoriented for a split second, grief crushing, until he wakes up further and realizes he was dreaming. 

He sits up with a groan, shreds of the dream and its dread slowly fading around him. Fuck. He hasn’t had a nightmare like that in years. 

He checks the time on his phone, curses to see that it’s three thirty in the morning. He drags himself up, flinching as he flips the bathroom light on. He takes a piss, and splashes water on his face as if he can wash away the lingering awfulness of the dream.

So weird. He hadn’t really seen anything, but the emotions themselves had felt so real. 

Back in bed, he almost doesn’t want to go back to sleep. He feels wide awake anyway. What he wants to do, is. 

Incredibly stupid.

Good for a lifetime of shit-talking if Geno tells anyone.

He does it anyway. 

You up? He texts Geno. It’s nine-something am in Moscow, so who knows. Geno’s not exactly a morning person.

There’s no answer, for long enough that he starts to feel even more colossally lame than he already did. 

Then his phone rings, making him jump. Fuck.

“Sid?” Geno says when he picks up. “What’s happen? It’s night for you.”

God, his voice. Deep and rumbling right in his ear. Accent thick like it always gets over the summer when he doesn’t use his English for months. Sid feels something in him let go, soothed by a living, breathing Geno at the other end of the line. But, then, he realizes that he now has to come up with an explanation that isn’t just, “hey bud, just had a real bad dream, wish you were here to fucking tuck me in, eh?” 

“Uh. I’m okay it’s just… I was thinking.”

There’s a judgmental silence on the other end of the line. Sid pinches the bridge of his nose with his free hand.

“You’re gonna chirp me forever, man. I, uh. I’ve been having this dream.” 

“Whaat?” Geno draws the word out, somehow conveying both amusement and disbelief. 

“I know, I know. But I’ve been having this stupid dream about skating on a lake, yeah? Just over and over. It’s fucking weird. And you were there? I think. The last few times, anyway. And this time there were these cracks in the ice, and you fell in. You know how even if it doesn’t make sense, for a second in a dream your brain doesn’t know the difference? Well. You, you were dead.” 

He pauses, realizing he’s babbling, how stupid this is. Shame washes over him. 

“Okay…” Geno says, clearly trying to take all of that in. “Sorry for dream?”

“Not your fault,” Sid says automatically. “So, yeah. Pretty much I just wanted to hear your voice.”

Geno huffs out a laugh. “Okay. I’m doing good, so.” There’s a pause, like he’s considering something. 

“It’s little bit cute, you know? Call me for scared.” His tone is amused but not as teasing as Sid would expect.

Still. Cute.

“Oh my god,” Sid groans, and flops back into his pillows.

“So stupid,” he says, more to himself then to Geno.

“No, no,” Geno says, and he’s definitely laughing now. “It’s fine, most cute. Can call me, I can give you some story, for sleep. Maybe some song.”

“Fuck off,” Sidney gripes, but he’s kind of smiling at the ceiling now, like a dweeb. 

Geno yawns, then audibly settles back into the bed or couch he’s probably lounging on. “So, keep having dream?”

“Yeah, over and over. No idea why.”

“Stress?”

Sid is quiet for a moment, wondering how to answer. “Maybe. My birthday, the season coming up. You know.”

“You captain,” Geno says. “Lots things for worry.” The matter of fact way he says it is comforting, somehow. “You need come here. Have fun in Russia.”

“Naw. The visa would take too long to get,” Sid says, wondering if Geno means it, if he’d really like to show Sid around Moscow.

“You know how long it’s take?” Geno sounds amused again, like he’s smiling. “You think about?” 

“Oh, off and on,” Sid answers. “Over the years, you know.”

“Should do, Russia best.”

Sid laughs. “Oh, for sure.”

“You do, you come. We go to banya, we eat Russian food. You can go to some museum, so boring.”

It sounds… really good. It makes an old ache start up behind Sid’s ribcage to think about it, but it sounds good. Especially if…

There’s always been an expiration date on Geno’s time in the US. And if this season is as bad as the last–

Sid tamps down the urge to surrender to the loss he can sense hovering on the horizon. 

“That sounds amazing, G. I want to, I really do. What about next summer? I can make sure the paperwork is all set up ahead of time.” Something to look forward to in that summer, no matter what. A way to delay Geno from slipping through his fingers if Geno decides he’s finally had it.

He’s being irrational, he knows. Geno has a contract. And yet.

“Yes, we do,” Geno says, with finality. “You come.”

They’re both quiet for a moment. Then there’s a bit of rustling on Geno’s end, like he’s sitting up. He sounds more awake when he speaks again.

“I can come early, now. Go to Canada first.”

Sid blinks, his lips parting in surprise. “Come here? To Nova Scotia? You’d want to?”

“No more bad dream,” Geno coos mockingly, and Sid has to laugh.

“You gonna tuck me in at night, eh?” Fuck, no, what is he doing. That sounds like he’s trying to flirt, or something. He needs to backpedal. 

“For real though. I’d always love to have you visit, you know that. I just thought, it’s a little quiet, maybe. Boring.” His voice, damn it, is a lot softer than he meant it to sound. Maybe revealing a little too much. He hopes Geno isn’t paying attention.

“Mooost boring,” Geno drawls. Then, firmly: “I come. You can show me fishing. No golf.” 

Something stupid and anticipatory flutters in Sidney’s gut. “Sure, okay. Let’s uh, work out the details.” Fuck.

***

Geno plans to go to Miami for a week, then to Sid’s, then to fly together down to Pittsburgh for training camp. He grouses a little at needing to be early because Sid is the captain and always shows up in town first. 

He grumbles but then he’s there in a week and a half, tanned and insolent with a backwards SnapBack on his head, rolling a lollipop stick between his teeth and disturbing Sid’s whole universe.

He pulls Sid in for a one armed hug and a backslap, right there in the terminal. He smells like airplane and very nice cologne, and Sid wonders why the hell he allowed this to happen.

He’s exhausted but looks around avidly as they take the 102 down to Dartmouth.

“Flat,” he says thoughtfully. “Big sky. Like Russia.”

Sid feels disproportionately pleased about that. 

It’s so strange, looking at home through Geno’s eyes, or trying to. He wants him to like it. 

“Halifax is across the harbor from where we are now,” Sid explains. “We can take a look around tomorrow.”

“I’m look Google Earth,” Geno says. “Little bit. Pretty.”

“It is,” Sid agrees. 

There’s a strange little smile playing around Geno’s lips as he takes in his surroundings. Sid isn’t quite sure what it means.

When they get to Sid’s place, Geno unfolds his long legs from the car and shoves his sunglasses up on his head. He just stands there for a minute, looking at the house, the sliver of lake visible through the trees. 

Then he looks at Sid, like he’s fitting Sid into this place in his mind. That wry little smile is back.

“Looks like you,” he says, and Sid isn’t quite sure what he means. 

***

Sid takes Geno out on the lake to fish. He takes him to the rink for training, where Geno imperiously nods once at Nate and then proceeds to ignore him for the rest of the drills. He stands in the lobby for a long time, looking at the display of Sid’s jerseys and photos. He takes a picture of one of Sid’s Timbits photos with his phone. 

Sid takes him around Halifax, as promised, then to his parent’s house, where Geno is all charm and bashful politeness, helping Sid’s mom in the kitchen and talking hockey with Sid’s dad. 

In every place, it’s a strange collision of worlds. Sid has to stop himself from just, staring all the time. Geno, here in his life. Lying on the floor of his parents’ living room to fuss over Sam. Rifling through Sid’s cabinets to judge his lack of acceptable tea. Strapping on his pads in the locker room of the rink where Sid learned to skate. 

He fits easier than Sid had imagined, and that ache seems to sit in his chest all the time now.

***

Geno’s been there nearly a week when Sid has the dream again. Same thing, with Geno disappearing into the dark water. 

Sid wakes up drenched in sweat, and swears before stumbling as quietly as he can to his kitchen for cold water from the Brita in the fridge. 

“Sid?”

Sid yelps, sloshing water all over the counter. “Fuck!” 

Geno’s lying on the couch in the living room, awash in the blue light of the muted television. 

“What are you doing up? Did I wake you?” 

“Still little bit jet lag. What’s happen? Dream, again?” 

Sid takes his glass of water and stands pointedly by the couch until Geno pulls up his knees and frees a space for Sid to sit. 

“Yeah.” Sid sighs. “So stupid.” He rubs at his eyes. 

“I’m die?” 

Sid stares ahead at the silent TV. It’s showing an ad for Canadian Tire. He’s not sure how he feels about talking about this, least of all talking about it with Geno. “Uh huh.” 

Geno scoots partially upright, and regards Sid with a surprising amount of gravity. 

“What you worry about, Sid?” he says, and it’s quiet, his voice low. 

Sid can’t look at him. He takes a long swallow of water and sets his glass carefully on the coffee table, trying to decide how honest to be. 

He’s too tired, on too many levels, to say anything other than the truth. 

“That if we have another season like we did, you’ll decide you’re done.” 

Geno whole face seems to go soft, his mouth dropping open a little. 

“I know,” Sid says quickly. “I know, this is so stupid, but I just—” 

Geno swings his feet to the floor, and suddenly he’s right there next to him, so close their thighs are almost touching. 

“Sid,” Geno says, and waits to continue until Sid looks over at him. 

“Until I’m hurt or you leave, I’m not leave Penguins.” 

His voice is softer and more reassuring than Sid has ever heard it before. What is happening. 

He can’t speak for a moment. 

“I, uh. Fuck, G.” 

Geno is just. Sitting there so close Sid can feel the heat of his body, looking at Sid with dark, serious eyes. 

Sid wants to kiss him. Wants to push him back onto the couch and mark him up. Something must have shown in his face because Geno tilts his head, brows drawing together in puzzlement. 

“Sid?”

Sid shakes his head. He has to get It together, in so many ways. 

“No, yeah, sorry I just.” He sighs. “Thank you, G. I can’t tell you how much that means.” 

Geno makes a hum of agreement, and stands, extending a hand to Sid. Sid shouldn’t take it but he does, let’s Geno haul him to his feet, and lets Geno…pull him in for a hug apparently. Oh no. 

This time Geno smells like the body wash Sid keeps in the guest bedroom, and his worn t shirt is soft against Sid’s cheek. 

It’s a curiously long embrace, and when Geno’s arms tighten Sid allows himself the indulgence of relaxing, letting himself melt into it. 

Geno raises one hand and lays it heavily on the nape of Sid’s neck. He eases back so he can look into Sid’s face. 

Sid can’t tell what he’s thinking. And he himself can’t think at all, not with Geno’s hand pressing onto his neck and his everything so, so close. 

He realizes, slowly, that Geno’s hands are shaking. 

“G?”

“Sid,” Geno says, husky and so low. 

Sid feels outside of his body, incredulous that this is really, actually happening as Geno, very slowly, leans in, pausing just a hairsbreadth from Sid’s lips. 

“Sid?”

“Yeah,” he sighs, and tilts his head up to cross that final bit of separation. 

Geno’s kiss is soft lips and hot mouth, gasped breaths and possessive sweeps of those huge hands. 

Sid shudders in his arms as Geno moves to his neck, trailing kisses across his jaw and down to the skin bared by the vee of his sleep shirt. 

Sid tugs them backwards, folding when the couch hits the back of his legs and pulling Geno down over him. 

He’s greedy, he’s starving. He can’t touch enough skin, he can’t get Geno close enough. He sets his teeth where Geno’s neck meets his shoulder and nearly keens when Geno moans and responds with a slow, devastating roll of his hips. 

“Geno, is this— are you—“

Geno pushes himself upright enough to look Sid in the eyes. 

“Won’t leave, Sid. Can’t.”

“I’ve wanted this,” Sid confesses. “I’ve wanted this for a really long time.”

“Good,” Geno says, and rolls his hips again. 

“I can’t just do a, a one time fuck or—“ 

“No,” Geno says sharply. “No.” He leans on one elbow so that he can lay a hand on Sid’s cheek. “We’re like this, you know? Mine.” 

Sid feels too bright and expansive for his skin. He fists a hand in Geno’s t-shirt and tugs him closer. 

“Mine,” he echoes, and Geno groans, responding to another tug and taking Sid’s mouth in a deep, demanding kiss. 

Hands and mouths and the greedy rocking of their bodies bring them to completion within moments of each other. 

Sid lies there after, stroking his hand over Geno’s head where he’s laid it on Sid’s chest. He’s sprawled over Sid like a gigantic, clingy octopus, and Sid is feeling the kind of incredulous elation he normally associates with Cups and Olympic gold. 

“Thanks for coming, G,” he says, and although he meant “coming to Canada,” 

Geno snorts. 

“You know what I mean, dickhead,” Sid says, laughing. 

“I mean it,” he says a few minutes later. “I’m just, yeah.” 

Geno smiles at him like that made perfect sense, and doesn’t protest when Sid prods him upright and tugs him along into Sid’s bedroom. 

***

Jet lag or not, Geno falls asleep with Sid spooned up behind him, and is still asleep when Sid wakes up to the mid-morning sun streaming in the windows. Heart impossibly full, the old ache released and gone, Sid presses a kiss to the sun-gilded skin of Geno’s shoulder. 

He had dreamt of the lake again, but this time, as happened for him only rarely, he’d lucid-dreamed. 

“No,” he’d told Dream-Geno, and turned his back on the lake. Which suddenly was a completely frozen Monongahela River. 

He points up the bank, towards the arena. “We’ve got a game to get to.” 

Dream-Geno put his hand in Sid’s, and leaned down to kiss his hair. 

“Let’s go,” he tells Sid, and they walk up the bank together.

[all-hail-the-witcher]

I have literally no clue how to do this, but director’s commentary on your ‘One expensive can of easy cheese’ fic?

hell yeah!!

all comments will be in bold

______

Race was sat on top of the counter in his and Albert’s apartment, race only knows how to sit on counters lets be real, he can't sit in a chair to save his life a piece of duct tape over his mouth and his hands tied together with kitchen twine KINKYY. He sighed against his restraints, resigned to watch his boyfriend make their contribution to this year’s Thanksgiving gathering: mac and cheese. okay so its mac and cheese cause if you read spies mac and cheese is Literally the Only thing albert knows how to cook, other than coffee, and he's Really Fuckin Good At It (he's the mikey of mac and cheese okay this is my hc)

Now, of course everyone and their mother knew that mac and cheese was not a Traditional Thanksgiving Food is it though, r a c e r?. But, Albert had won (best out of three) mario kart yesterday so he had gotten to decide what they would bring to Jack’s house i was gonna make it rock paper scissors, i do not know hot to play mariokart, but it sounds more heated than rock paper scissors. Had Race known that he had been planning to make mac and fucking cheese, maybe he would have tried a little harder race be quiet you literally love alberts mac and cheese its a known fact.

Apparently, Albert was not pleased with Race’s reaction to his decision to make mac and cheese, and thought that Race might try to get in the way somehow (which he may or may not have fully intended to do) he did. So he did what any loving boyfriend would: sat him on the counter, put duct tape over his mouth and tied his hands together so he wouldn’t interfere albert sounds real kinky in this, why did i make this so kinky, wait when did i even write this.

Race was beginning to wonder why he had agreed to move in with Albert in the first place. CAUSE YOU LOVE HIM THATS WHY

With a violent shake of his head and one final spat who the fuck uses the word spat huh saph??, he was able to dislodge the duct tape d i s l o d g e thats some karen bs right there.

“Albieeeeee,” he whined, laying down on the counter. “Can you pleaaaaaaaseee let me helllllllllp?” yeah albert let him help jeez he's the one who actually knows how to cook

Albert barely glanced up as he pulled the big wooden spoon out of the pot and gave it a thoughtful lick note to self, all licks should always be thoughtful. “Hmmmmmmm. No.” dumbass. if only you knew what was coming.

“But-!” He wriggled w r i g g l e d around to give Albert his best puppy dog eyes. “Can I make something else then? Ple-OW!” He glared at the spatula that had been hurled at his arm. “You apologize for that!” damn albie why so mean? o wait i wrote this wait...

“Nah.” He smirked and went back to stirring his wretched pasta okay but i did a good job making race salty i gotta give myself that. Well, actually Albert’s mac and cheese was quite good hELL YEAH IT IS. Race was just salty that he was making it for Thanksgiving when it was very well known that he was the chef of the two and Jack was expecting something good not the mac and cheese Albert famously made at 2am in college when they were all high as hell. okay real talk tho, no one eats good mac and cheese in college, its the instant microwave shit cause were all broke so thats a lie race

“Can you at least untie me then?” ;)

“No.” Albert even bother considering this time. albert this is gettin Real Kinky..

“Well.” If logic wasn't going to work on Albert he would have to try another method. “I know you know how to make a guy feel good Albie HAH YES I KNEW I PULLED SOMETHING WEIRD, but I never expected ropes to be a part of it. What’s next? Handcuffs? Whips? Chains?” i gotta tell ya life without ya has been hard. hard? has been bad. bad? has been r o u g h. k i N kY

In two seconds flat Race was out of his kitchen twine bonds and flexing his sore wrists. LIKE HECK HE WAS CAUSE ALBERTS ACE AND HE DONT WANT THAT REPUTATION!!!

“Man Albie, who knew you had a twine kink.” hehe u go race

“You know,” Albert began loudly, as if thinking that his loudness would cover up his totally obvious twine kink yeah albie has a twine kink, he licks it, no this is a joke, “if you want to do something that's actually useful, you could go to Walgreens and buy me another can of Easy Cheese.” W A L G R E E NS. this whole fit was an excuse to write another part of the walgreens au

“Is that what you put in your fuckin mac and cheese?” Race swore he actually felt bile rise in the back of his throat when Albert nodded. “That’s it. I’m never eating your mac and cheese again.” BUT YOU LIKE IT

“But-!”

“I’ll eat you though,” Race winked, taking a moment to enjoy the startled, yet somehow pleased look on his boyfriend’s face. okay maybe albert wasn't ace in this particular fic...

“Not until after we’re done at Jack’s.” yeah definitely not scratch that. i write a lot of fics. Albert said only half jokingly as he dug around in his pocket for a second before throwing a crumpled five at Race. “In the meantime though, be gone thot!” GO AWAYYYY. IM A MAN OF GOD. mikey and my sister have subjected me to too many tik toks im sorry

Race barely managed to catch the bill without falling on the floor, but still blew a kiss to Albert before walking out of the apartment.

Who the fuck puts easy cheese in mac and cheese? albert does. but its actually a plot point just to get you to walgreens and if anyone puts easy cheese in mac and cheese i will fite you. He wondered for the millionth time as he stomped the three blocks to Walgreens. Albert claimed that he had chosen his apartment for its proximity to the store he did, actually, but up until today Race had always assumed that he had been joking he was not. The man did make a lot of mac and cheese and if Easy Cheese was an ingredient well….maybe there was some truth to that story after all. you can buy easy cheese at a lot of places tho...i don't actually know if you can buy easy cheese at a walgreens

Race pulled open the door to the Walgreens, pausing briefly to wonder why the absolute fuck it was open on literal Thanksgiving before remembering that it was a fucking Walgreens and why wouldn’t it be open to sell his dumbass boyfriend a can of fucking Easy Cheese. walgreens remains a mystery indeed. my only experience was the one that my best friend and i would go to at lunch during senior year. also have you ever noticed that most walgreenses are on corners? cause their slogan is at the corner of happy and healthy??

In order to get to the Easy Cheese, or at least he assumed so because he had never bought a can of Easy Cheese in his whole glorious 25 years of life a true chef, Race had to walk past the Pharmacy section of the store. And, it just so happened that there was a guy sitting behind the counter at the Pharmacy. A very attractive guy. With a beard. In scrubs. oh my god the most questionable villain I've ever written.

Now, of course Race loved Albert and nothing would ever change that, but he could appreciate an attractive man when he saw one indeed he could. He thanked whatever deity was out there for the bit of man candy M AN C AN D Y that he had been granted and went in search of his Easy Cheese. oh just you wait racetrack 

“Mac and cheese, velveta cheese, microwaveable mac and cheese, where the fuck is the- oh thank fuck there we go.” my best friend and i spent much time looking at the mac and cheese in walgreens He pulled a can of Easy Cheese off of the shelf, tossing it once and catching it athletics before turning to go pay for the horrendous product, happy to finally be done with the whole ordeal when- B R E T T 

“Easy cheese? Really?”

Race whirled whirled? saph please get a better vocabulary around to see Mr. Man Candy hA himself leaning against the opposite shelf. “Wh- who?”

“Oh,” he dusted his hand off on his scrubbs oh my god Wait i wrote this cause one time when i was in a walgreens i Did see a hot dude working the pharmacy and decided to write a fic about it!! i remember texting mikey about this hjfhgjhg, “allow me to introduce myself. My name is Brett O’Hare. and mikey came up with that name And you, sir, are a disgrace to society. The very reason why so many Americans are in poor health in this day and age.” brett is an obnoxious millennial in case you can't tell

“I’m sorry, what?”

“The Easy Cheese!” Brett gestured wildly toward the can in Race’s hand. “Gosh do you even know how many preservatives are in that stuff? And all the cancers that it can cause? It’s terrible. We wouldn’t need free healthcare if people just stopped eating Easy Cheese!” apparently he's a millennial who's also a republican...?

Race had lived in New York City his whole life, and he had seen some pretty strange things subway pizza rat, but never had he seen a pharmacist in a Walgreens lecture anyone about the health benefits of Easy Cheese. easy cheese has no health benefits. and if you'd stopped annoying your boyfriend maybe you wouldn't be there

“So let me get this straight,” Race rubbed his head, trying to make sense of the situation. “You go around yelling at people about the ingredients in the things that they are purchasing?” yeah its nyc people love to have Opinions. and so do millennials

“Yeah.”

“You do realize that this is a Walgreens, right? Everything in here probably contains some kind of chemical.” man brett has his work cut out for him. New Yorkers never ceased to amaze him.

“All the more reason for me to inform them of their poor eating habits!” Brett pointed a finger at him. “And stop distracting me! You’re the one buying the freaking easy cheese here!” this is so weird why did i come up with this idea. what possessed me. 

“It’s not even for me!” Race shouted back. “It’s for my boyfriend’s fucking mac and cheese that he insisted on making for Thanksgiving even though everyone knows that mac and cheese is not a fucking Thanksgiving food and he’s only making it cause he knocked me off the goddamn rainbow road right before the fucking finish line!” someones salty Race was fuming but the time that he was done.

“Oh, man I’m so sorry, that's lousy.” but it won't stop brett...

Race looked surprised. Of all the things that he thought he would get out of this Walgreens experience, a therapy session was indeed not on the list. But neither had been hearing a lecture about the preservatives in Easy Cheese from a pharmacist. i have literally no explanation for this train wreck of a fic

“But that doesn’t change the fact that you’re still buying Easy Cheese!” Between one second and the next, Brett had grabbed the can of Easy Cheese out of Race’s hand, wielding it like a brick ha percy jackson heroes of olympus anyone??. “Buy some fucking vegetables!” you can't buy vegetables in a walgreens brett

And with that, he struck Race over the head with the can of Easy Cheese.

Now, Race had definitely done some questionable things during his life Thats for sure. Once he had slept on the roof of his dorm building in January for a week because he lost his dorm key god why you can't even get on the roof of dorm buildings i know, I've tried, and another time he had been tricked into making an entire wedding cake using salt by Who??. However, being smacked over the head with a can of Easy Cheese by a health nut in scrubs on Thanksgiving put any and all other situations he had been in to shame in a walgreens don't forget. how did you forget that saph.  

He opened his eyes, suddenly blinded by the lights, and reached for his phone, muttering curses about man candy and vegetables as he should be. Squinting so he didn’t have to look at the screen, he somehow managed to dial Albert. no one d i a l s anyone saph. its the 21st century. i have like maybe 8 phone numbers memorized, half of them belong to my family the other half to people i knew in middle school.

“Racetrack Higgins, where is my Easy Cheese?”

Race pulled the phone away from his ear and winced at the sound of his boyfriend’s voice. “Um, it may have been used to give me a concussion by a health nut in scrubs?” for Once al isn't the one who gets injured in a walgreens. bet you didnt see That coming

Albert let out a loud sigh. “Ah man, did you run into Brett? That guy’s the worst.” hehe bet al used to date him

“Wait, you know him?”

“Race, I know every Walgreens employee in Manhattan, of course I know Brett.�� There was the jangling of keys in the background. “I thought I told you to go to the one on 4th for this reason, ah, well. I’m on my way. I’ll take you to urgent care. Hang tight.” ofc al goes to urgent care. and everyone there knows him by a first name basis

Race’s head hurt too much to process what Albert had said except for the words ‘I’m on my way.’ “Okay,” he sighed. this was definitely one of the times i asked mikey about oddly specific concussion symptoms and then proceeded to forget everything he told me and do my own stuff

“Love you.”

“Love you too.” Race’s eyes focused on the dented can of Easy Cheese rolling on the floor he should still buy it. “And Al?”

“Yeah?”

“This is going to be one expensive can of Easy Cheese.” get it? cause race has to pay urgent care for his consultation? and they're also Very Very late to thanksgiving. cause al insists on finishing his mac. jack is not impressed. he eats all races pie.

anyway thats that hope you enjoyed

[dontreadthistrashgarbage]

Pt.3

Seyoon was unpacking all the late night snacks he had gotten onto a blanket at a secluded rooftop. Hearing footsteps he looked up to see Guerin, who looked different than usual. She didn't appear to be wearing any makeup, had her normal stud earrings but had a cute black mask with a white sharp toothy grin. She was dressed in joggers and a sweatshirt with the hood up. He cocked his head at her as she approached.

"I know, I look like shit. But it was late and I'd already gotten ready for bed. You can't expect me to spruce up after that." Guerin guessed at his expression.

"You look fine. Cozy. It's just different. Also you're late." He shrugged and patted the blanket next to him, sitting as he leaned against the wall behind him.

"I got lost..." she grumbled, "I've never been great with directions." She sat down in the spot he indicated, looking over the spread he had brought, "Good grief I thought you just wanted tteokbokki."

Seyoon smiled automatically, "You said you hadn't eaten, and I know how much you like food so I thought I should get some options." Guerin leaned her head in his direction and offered a wry smile under her mask, unable to argue with his logic. "Besides, I got this for us too." He pulled out an additional bag, from which he drew two paper cups, a bottle of soju and two cans of beer.

Guerin raised her eyebrows and sat up straight, "Oh we're drinking too?"

"We have to. It goes well with tteokbokki, fried chicken and jajangmyeon." He shrugged nonchalantly as he began opening everything up and handing Guerin some chopsticks. "Although it's blueberry soju. I thought you might like that."

"How did you figure that?" She asked, sneaking a piece of tteokbokki and pulling her mask to her chin to eat it.

"Well you said before you liked Grapefruit and Plum but I couldnt find it, so I thought blueberry was the next best option." Seyoon shrugged, separating the cups and pouring soju into them, handing one to Guerin and offering his as cheers.

She laughed in response and took her shot, "Honestly I dont know how that train of thought lines up but you aren't wrong." She watched as Seyoon refilled the cups and couldn't keep the grin from her face, "You really went all out for this, it's awesome. Thank you."

He shrugged again, looking up at her and their eyes met briefly before both looked away to select food options, "Food makes things better." He said simply.

"Cheers to that." They both took another shot and then ate in silence for a while.

"So... how are you?" Seyoon asked awkwardly, unsure of how to broach the subject.

"I'm fine, all things considered." Guerin said almost mechanically, "I keep telling people that."

"Okay... but how are you really?" Seyoon asked again, leaning back to look at Guerin. She sighed and set her chopsticks down and didn't speak for a moment.

"Well. What do you know happened?" She asked finally.

"I know you were attacked by that crazy lady. I know you were arrested but you were cleared because of video evidence. I know that she is being charged by the company. But I also know you haven't been with HEET lately." He trailed off.

Guerin reached over for one of the beers. Seyoon cracked it open and put it in her hand, grabbing his as well while she took a sip, leaned back against the wall and looked up at the sky.

"Yeah. We were worried something might happen again. So part of our plan included recording any more altercations that might occur. Self defense laws are tricky and it's usually one person's word against another. Plus as a foreigner, and a big one, we knew some witnesses might not provide unbiased information." She paused and took another sip, "The boys were so brave, they did exactly as they were supposed to. That woman had some gross stuff in that present too. Police said it was unwashed underwear, a vial of blood, another of spit..." she scrunched her nose, "stuff like that."

"Sounds like you guys have the law on your side." Seyoon said, waiting for more information.

Another sip and pause before she spoke, "Yeah, we do. We're able to press charges. The company is suing her. She might see jail time. They even made me go to the hospital to make sure they had a medical report for the court."

"Wait medical report?" Seyoon looked over at her, surprised, "What happened?" Now that she had pulled down her mask and he was looking closely he saw the cut and slight bruising at the corner of her mouth as she smiled dryly and tapped her cheek.

"I let her hit me. I figured if she looked unharmed and I was injured it would go better for us too."

"You're crazy." He sounded almost admiring as he leaned in closer, "Let me see that, does it hurt?"

"It's fine, I've been hit in the face many times, and she's probably the smallest adult that's ever taken a swing at me. It doesnt hurt at all. OW WHY?" She flinched and cried out as he poked the bruising.

His eyes widened and he let out a snort of laughter, "Doesn't hurt at all?"

"You little shit." She laughed and smacked his hand away from her face, "Of course it'll hurt if you press a bruise."

He giggled again, "Sorry. It does look like it hurts a lot. You should maybe stop letting people hit you in the face."

She laughed, "Well it hasn't always been a choice, this one was though."

"So... there's more right?" He asked after their laughter had subsided.

Guerin avoided his eyes by taking a longer drink from her beer, "Yeah. There's been some blowback. Some false stories have gotten out and theres some people that claim I'm making a bad name for HEET or that I was the one who started it, that I instigated a fight or was being rude to a fan. There's quite a lot that demanded I be removed as manager, actually."

"So they caved?" Seyoon asked disbelievingly.

"Well. Kind of?" Guerin sighed, "I've been temporarily removed. Right now with the case going and the false information it's actually less safe for HEET to be around me in case someone tries to target me. So until things are officially able to be released..." she stopped talking abruptly blinking rapidly, trying to hide it with another long gulp of beer. "It's not like I've been fired. I'm grateful for that. Another company would probably have written me off as more trouble than I'm worth. They have me doing other work right now but... I liked my job. I loved my boys, and looking after them." She couldnt hide the tears running down her face now, and didn't bother to try.

Seyoon floundered, watching her face then looking around before seeing napkins and hurriedly handing them to her. She smiled and thanked him, dabbing her cheeks half heartedly before giving up and chugging the rest of her beer through her tears. With an unconvincing smile she looked at Seyoon, "So that's what I mean when I say all things considered. I'm fine."

He didn't saying anything right away, pulling his long shirt sleeve over his hand, he leaned over and dabbed at her face to dry it. She started to pull away, shocked, but he reached out with his other hand and held her in place. "Hold still." She didn't fight back, he was so close and so handsome she couldn't help but feel somewhat transfixed, despite her stomache dropping and heart pounding, all she could do was freeze until he let her go. He picked up his chopsticks, selected a large piece of fried chicken and put it to her mouth, which she accepted without complaint.

"It's okay to be sad when bad things happen. You don't have to lie to everyone." He paused and added quietly as though he wasn't sure he should be saying it, "You don't have to lie to me."

Guerin choked, "Oh my god." She swallowed as soon as she could and laughed, "Are you using lines on me to seem cool? Is this a drama?" She laughed again.

"Yah." He protested, "I was just trying to be supportive."

Guerin laughed again then fed him some tteokbokki, "You're as adorable as a cicada." She said and pinched his cheek.

"I am so much more handsome than some bug." He protested around the food in his mouth.

"Of course you are." She put a shot of soju in his hand, cheersed and downed hers. He followed shortly.

"Thanks though." She glanced at him, "It means a lot."

He playfully shoved her and stole her chopsticks, which started a whole new bickering fit.

Charlie had been working up the nerve all morning to talk to her boss. It was a privilege to be allowed to be so hands on with animals and she didn't want her boss to think she was taking advantage... but it was such a cool opportunity. She had to at least try.

"Byun Minsoo-ssi." She lead off tentatively. The lead vet looked up from her paperwork. Perhaps she looked stern simply from Charlie's point of view but it was just as believable that she was no-nonsense in everyday life as well.

"Yes? Charlie-ssi?"

"I have a friend who is a manager for an idol group, she is friends with a group called A.C.E and I wondered if they could come behind the scenes to meet some of our animals?" Charlie ventured cautiously.

Minsoo paused for a moment before speaking "A.C.E? Your friend knows A.C.E? And they want to come here?" Her attempt to play it cool was poorly hidden and gave Charlie confidence.

"Yes! I'd like to invite my friend Guerin and A.C.E to come and see what we have. I think it would be an excellent opportunity to promote the zoo and educate on the importance of conservation!"

The normally serious Minsoo beamed at Charlie, "That's an excellent idea. Let's get in contact and organize something."

Charlie did a mental fist pump and hustled off to message her friends.

Deciding to keep the visit informal allowed the planning process to go more quickly. Approval from the higher ups and organizing with Beat Interactive took a few days. Guerin has been allowed to come as a personal guest for Charlie and A.C.E who requested she tag along. Guerin, never passing up a chance to visit the zoo, happily accepted. Charlie hoped it could provide her friend with a genuine mood boost. Guerin tended to internalize her negative emotions but Charlie could tell she wasn't her usual self.

"We'll do formal filming in the behind the scenes areas, but then we'll allow you to do your own self cam work throughout the areas of the zoo the public has regular access to." Minseok explained as A.C.E got last second touch ups.

"What animals are we seeing today?" Asked Chan excitedly. They were in the vet and quarantine areas so it was unpredictable what had been planned for them.

"It's a surprise." Charlie said, the most excited A.C.E had ever seen her.

Byun Minsoo would be taking the lead in speaking for the cameras but suggested Charlie stay by to help handle animals and manage the guests. Minsoo might be strict but she was fair, knowing Charlie wanted to do this with her friends she wasn't going to exclude her.

Guerin was hanging back with Minseok as preparations were made. "Noona do you know what we're gonna see?" Chan tried to wheedle from her, pouting slightly. Guerin stared pointedly away from him.

"Don't pull that cute stuff on me, I can't tell you." Of course she knew what animals Charlie was working with, she couldn't let some aegyo spoil the surprise. Chan pouted more and shook his shoulders in a small tantrum.

"Alright that's enough." Minseok stepped in before Guerin could cave, he redirected A.C.E to the main area so they could begin filming. The recording started with a tour of the facilities, showing equipment and how to accommodate all the different animals they had based on type and size. They explained the importance of training animals to participate in their own veterinary care voluntarily then showed them a video example of a mountain lion presenting for a blood draw, and a gorilla opening it's mouth for its teeth to be examined, or a macaque presenting its arm for an insulin injection. Minsoo continued to talk about the research and breeding that the zoo participated and how it was vital for conservation efforts and how it benefitted animals in the wild.

The boys were perfect guests, asking questions and reacting well. They saw a few animals in the quarantine area, new to the zoo and waiting to be introduced to their new homes. The last area they were taken to was for longer term housing for animals that couldnt be in the usual enclosures. A spot had been sectioned, layered with blankets, plushies and other toys. The boys, perplexed, were instructed to go in and sit down with Minsoo while Charlie disappeared momentarily. She returned with an inauspicious crate, facing it away from A.C.E she opened the door and sat with Minsoo, both grinning for the surprise.

Two young tiger cubs tottered they way out, mowing. The trepidation left A.C.E as they all exclaimed in amazement and adoration. Minsoo and Charlie showed A.C.E how to bottle feed them, then let them take turns.

"Their mother was a first time mom, and she wouldnt take care of them." Minsoo explained as the boys cooed sadly, "It's not unusual for that to happen with new mothers even in the wild. But since we are here we made the choice to step in and help raise them." Once the babies were fed they were left to roam and play. One clambered into Jun's lap and fell asleep, the other playing with a toy with Donghun and Byeongkwan. Jun couldn't control his face, his amazement and joy at being chosen as he got everyone's attention and pointed to the sleeping kitten. Seyoon and Chan scooted near him to pet the sleeping animal. Charlie couldn't stop herself from grinning, Guerin knew at least part of it was Jun's reaction and not just the cute tiger cubs.

Once it was time to say goodbye to the kittens, A.C.E did their formal goodbye with them and the filming for behind the scenes ended. The rest of the staff and guests got an opportunity to greet the tigers as well and once Guerin had her turn she flagged down Charlie as the babies were taken back to their enclosure. After a brief talk with Minsoo who let out a restrained laugh and nod, Charlie and Guerin went to a series of smaller tanks on the opposite side of the room, Guerin returning with her hands closed suspiciously.

"We have one more animal for you to meet." Charlie said with a chuckle. Donghun was the only one with the good sense to he suspicious.

"This is one of my favorite animals." Guerin said with a grin, uncovering her hand and showing a large male Madagascar Hissing Cockroach sitting placidly in her hand. All five boys instinctively recoiled, Chan and Jun exclaiming in surprise. A.C.E's reaction elicited chuckles from most of the staff if they werent busy being disgusted themselves.

"It's okay guys. They're harmless!" Guerin said holding it up. Donghun and Jun recovered the fastest, still looking apprehensive and surprised respectively. Chan was behind Jun, leaning around him curiously but still looking fearful. Beyongkwan, eyes wide, didnt move forward so quickly and Seyoon was the furthest away had a very subtle terror that could only be read in his eyes.

"They're really cool, they're called hissing cockroaches cause they hiss!" She gave the cockroach a light pet down it's back which caused it to take two steps forward and hiss quietly as it protested the contact. The boys jumped again. "So insects dont have lungs, they breath through small holes along their body called spiracles. These guys have evolved to force air out of those holes to make a hissing sound that they use to communicate to each other or even predators! Their mouths are too small to bite us so they're harmless!" She was so enthusiastic in the explanation it couldnt help but draw the boys curiosity. She explained how to tell males from females and how most cockroaches are pests at all and how vital they are to the environment. Eventually Donghun worked up the courage first to touch it when offered. Jun became somewhat enamored and greeted the insect before he touched it, but jumped when it hissed before laughing at his own reaction. Chan actually opted to hold it and Byeongkwan even moved forward but Seyoon stayed in the back.

"Come on Hyung!" Chan called to him, looking more closely at the cockroach.

"I'm just looking at stuff over here you guys go on without me." Seyoon said, pretending to examine equipment near him.

"It is kind of cute." Jun admitted, petting it again, still jumping slightly when it hissed.

"On a scale of Seyoon to a Cicada how cute is it?" Donghun joked causing Jun, Chan, Byeongkwan, Guerin and Charlie to laugh.

[abundantchewtoys]

HS Epi Meat, page 4 reaction

So, is John going to zap to the next plot point now, or will it switch back to Earth C?

I wonder, if it's the latter, whether we might see something from an antagonist, or a less important character, like Jack Noir or GCATavrosprite. And if the former, I wonder if John will venture further into (a retconned version of) the Game Over timeline, or not?

---

"You arrive in the Land of Heat and Clockwork in a flash of white." OOOoooh, LOHAC! Will he visit Dave - well, presumably yes. But will he revisit the moment he zapped back to, when he came to ask for help regarding his retcon powers?

... I kind of like Blaperile's idea better, that he revisits the point in time he disrupted before, the conversation between Dave & Jade, but which he afterwards retconned again, sending himself to go find Roxy? ... Wait, it was never really explained where that John that bapped himself on the head came from, I swear, if this is (out-of-comic) retconned as having been this 23-year-old John... Okay, I might have forgotten if Rx John had already gone back. ... Okay yeah, it already happened. Page 8333 vs 9047 of Homestuck. Anyway...

Hmm, GO Dave never used the eggsword much in the end (Caledfwlch), as he went after Jade's body and tied to a critical devilbeast combo. But I don't think John'll take it?

"Through the condensation you can make out the shapes of Dave and Jade below, as well as two more of you hovering in the air above. Both Johns turn to look at you." PFfffffff, of course he draws his other selves attention. Why would it resolve so cleanly as they zapping away in the background. Dave had a fit before when he saw one, but now, if he'll acknowledge all three...

"On the ground, Dave is talking in a particular cadence, one that is familiar to you, his longtime best buddy. Casual, wandering, verging on droning. It’s a good indication he’ll be monologuing for a while, and probably already has been." Yeah, GO Dave was summing up all the reasons he didn't particularly want to do anything about LE. Retconned Dave just thought he should fulfill the prophecy to get it over with, but that's about the end of his commitment in the matter too. Only Davepetasprite^2 really felt like going up against LE. Will Caledfwlch make it into their hands?

"DAVE: thats what...DAVE: you do...DAVE: with..." Awesome, he even gets trailed off at exactly the same moment in his monologue. :D

"DAVE: karate. john what the fuck are you doing hereDAVE: or... waitDAVE: actually three johnsDAVE: hey three johns what the fuck are three johns doing here" Dave is so whatever about this, it's hilarious. Then again, he's been all around LOHACSE thrice in a single day, he's got some experience in the matter of walking around alt time selves.

Also, I wonder if Dave (and Jade) will notice he's an older version of John. If not, his god tier powers probably keep him youthful, like Superman.

"It’s a fair question, which logically should have been directed to the oldest and most knowledgeable John. Nevertheless, one of the younger Johns replies first." Pfff, the second oldest one then? The one that came back here with a semblance of purpose, not randomly zapping through canon? Plus, if Dave wouldn't notice a difference between the Johns, neither would the younger ones.

"(JOHN 1): er.(JOHN 1): i don’t know." Ooooh! Cool, not just are they parenthesed, the Johns are now also numbered! Yeah, we wouldn't want them to just all be named John, that'd be insane and probably what Jade went through with PCG & FCG from her end (aka two ?CG's).

"JOHN 3: john, don’t worry about it. i’ll take things from here.DAVE: johns dont get me wrong its cool that you all randomly dropped by again but this wasnt really the best time" Hah, yeah John, try and get that semblance of knowing what you're doing back, like you acted out on LOPAN against your past selves. I'm actually interested to see whether he will be as dismissive towards his other selves as back then. Right, this is the second time Dave saw John, after the time he dropped in when Dave was looking at his old photographs.

"DAVE: we were kind of in the middle of a thing here(JOHN 1): whoops. sorry.(JOHN 2): uh... actually, i only came here to swoop in and zap this john away without being seen, to retcon away the mess i made earlier.(JOHN 2): i didn’t expect to see another john here.

JOHN 3: hey, other john, i said i’ll handle it!

JOHN 3: i’m the only one who actually knows what’s going on here.DAVE: god damn it johns what the fuck did you do" John 1 fucked it up, John 2 would've fixed things but then John 3 came back and fucked up some more. It's like the goddamned Primer movie all over again.

"JOHN 3: young dave, please.

JOHN 3: let me deal with the johns first, then i’ll explain.DAVE: young dave???" Why did that make me think of WV's polite commands. "Sir John" and all that. :P I think the other Johns will be able to get resolved easily enough, one zapping the other away to bop him in the head, both confused over the mess they left behind.

"DAVE: ohDAVE: yeah why are you a fucking adult now" OOOOOOh, nice! Okay, even though it'll be all shades of awkward, I really like the age difference isn't getting skimmed over.

"DAVE: did you grow up and start time traveling dude" Take that, reverse it.

"JADE: will someone tell me what the fuck is happening???????" Oh right, Grimbark Jade's text colour thingy!

"JOHN 3: johns, there’s no reason for you to hang around anymore.

JOHN 3: not to sound like a wet blanket, but the things you’re trying to accomplish are now useless, so you can just zap away and do whatever you want.(JOHN 1): ummm...(JOHN 2): useless?? wait." Harsh much, John. Also, just cause they won't/aren't you, they can just go become you, or whatever how you want to put it.

"JOHN 3: ok, maybe i shouldn’t have said that.

JOHN 3: i’m sure you can still go and do what i did when i originally did what you’re currently trying to do...DAVE: jesus john" Dave's inner time logistician is crying. John's retcon powers are so OP, he doesn't have to take any care in keeping time loops going if he doesn't want to. But that'd just result in copies of him flying around, so he'd best to just send them on their way, hopefully never to run into them again.

"

JOHN 3: in fact, it will still probably be a very rewarding experience!

JOHN 3: some of my best memories happened right after you do what you’re about to do next." I was thinking of the meet-up with his friends in general, but yeah, it's probably mostly about meeting Roxy, which is the closest thing to happen to (John 1)'s point in time.

"JOHN 3: the point is, you should just go do it, so that you aren’t here anymore." Savage.

"JOHN 3: i’m here to make sure some new and different important things happen, and those things don’t include you.

JADE: :|(JOHN 1): oh...(JOHN 2): ...ok.

The useless Johns zap away. You sincerely hope that they have a beautiful and fulfilling youth." ... That's not what your mouth ended up conveying there, John. Nor your thoughts, I mean, "useless", dear god man, have some alt self respect. :P

"DAVE: adult john what the fuck have you doneDAVE: is this some time travel shitDAVE: please dont tell me youve been spending the next however many years bungling through time like this because tbh if what i just witnessed was even remotely indicative of shit you get up to on a recurring basis then your future is almost too embarrassing to even think aboutDAVE: and this is coming from a teenager who was just in the middle of an angsty episode" Self aware Dave tirades are still the best. :D

"JOHN: i used my retcon abilities to travel here from the future, in a manner of speaking.DAVE: sounds fuckin stupidJOHN: it is stupid. but that’s just how things are." Glad they can agree to agree on that very valid assessment. :P

"JADE: im a little confused

JADE: im supposed to be hunting you down and capturing you... but im not sure if the adult version of you counts?

JADE: i think the condesce might just be... confused if i brought her an adult john?" Oooh, is this conflicting with her "programming" some how? Doggy Jade is confused, that's actually intruiging that she's given pause.

"JOHN: no, you don’t need to capture me, and you wouldn’t be able to even if you wanted to, since my existence literally transcends the confines of canon.

JADE: well...

JADE: i guess that simplifies things then?" John bullshitting his way to victory over people smarter than him, it remains a sight to behold.

"

JADE: in that case, would you mind giving me and dave a few minutes to wrap up our conversation?" XD Lol, wut????? Hahahah, Paradox Space really can only handle so much derailment to a timeline. At some point it just throws up it's arms and goes "leave me be, for five minutes, I was busy here!"

"JADE: we were sort of in the middle of something important... i thinkJOHN: no, you really weren’t.JOHN: sorry to be the bearer of lame news, like i just was to the other johns.JOHN: but whatever you were doing doesn’t matter anymore.JOHN: nothing that’s happening here matters at all.JOHN: this session, this whole takeover by the condesce... this isn’t how a universe gets made.

JADE: its not?JOHN: no." Sorry to break it to ya, but you're in a doomed timeline.

"DAVE: so what nowDAVE: if its all a done deal like preemptively speakingDAVE: can we all just relax or whatJOHN: actually...JOHN: no." Okay... So, what, can he just recruit these guys off and zap off with them to the next plot point? Won't something have to be done about the grimbarkness first? Also, if the next plot point is in the same timeline... Game Over really gets derailed. No Jade, no swapping Derse for LOFAF.

"DAVE: fuckJOHN: ah! i just realized why she sent me to this point in time to start recruiting you all.DAVE: whatDAVE: who" Rose, but not your Rose, although perhaps with the memories of that Rose, so kinda your Rose. :P Okay, so it's not that Rose's letter gave more detailed instructions than to zap there & recruit. So John'll have to figure out what to bring besides the people, in some cases at least. Like, here that would be Caledfwlch.

"JOHN: this is the moment just after you made your legendary cue ball sword.JOHN: you’re going to need it.DAVE: for whatJOHN: to come fight lord english with me.

Dave’s eyebrows descend beneath his sunglasses. You feel pretty bad because you’re about to completely circumvent the life-changing epiphany he’s just had that you know for a fact will make him a happier, chiller, and altogether more well-balanced human being." :/ Yeah, Dave really was happier cheating his way out of the prophecy. But then, he could only become so happy if someone else took care of the REAL Lord English for him. Guess another Dave'll have to bite the dust for "alpha" Dave again. Then again, epiphany or not, GO Dave might have ended up happy... but then he'd have been a happy ghost, for just as long until LE or the black hole got to him.

Still, man, I'm feeling for the guy. It's one thing to reject the call when it's an abstract prophecy or artefact thrust on you. But now it's his best friend asking him to join him in a crazy last stand. That's... actually one of the toughest challenges any Dave has had.

"DAVE: oh shit" ... Best underwhelming response he could have. :D

"JADE: what??

JADE: john. he is NOT going to fight lord english just yet

JADE: he is staying right here

JADE: old ladys orders :PJOHN: actually, yes he is." I'm sensing a showdown coming, but I wonder how swift John will take care of her, can his mangrist trump First Guardian swiftness? Oh, yeah, and he could turn into the Breeze too, I recall. Yeah, Jade's gonna bite the dust.

"JOHN: and so are you. we all are." Oooooh, okay, he wants everyone from the GO timeline to take a swing. Cool that he's getting his gang back together. Still, the age difference! :P Everyone but Roxy might be a little wary of it. (I'm saying that because at one point Roxy crushed on Jane's Dad.

"JADE: omg

JADE: how dare you?????JOHN: jade, you’re brainwashed.JOHN: sorry. but nothing you’re saying now means anything." Like, I understand where he's coming from, but dang John, still so brutal.

"JOHN: it’s fine though, you’ll stop being brainwashed once i zap you outside the influence of the condesce." Oooh, round trips to blankspace it is? I don't think it'll be to LOWAS, just to "a" point in blankspace they can be "stored" until the gang is assembled.

"JADE: youre not zapping me anywhere!!!!!JOHN: ha ha, yes i am.JOHN: watch this...

> Zap Grimbark Jade outta there." Has he learned to do a snap to zap her away while staying behind himself? Like how Jade zapped everyone to LOMAX.

It would be anticlimactic for John's retcon powers to suddenly cease working here. It would also be very Hussie for that to happen spontaneously. :P But then again, not likely as he'll use the same power to go to LOCAM (Caliborn's planet).

"You set a hand on Jade’s shoulder and zap her off to a better place. Then you touch down on the concrete surface where the whole pointless confrontation was taking place so that you can talk Dave around whatever it is he’s going through right now. Dave, like his ecto-sister, really needs to get in an absurd amount of extraneous words before he can fully process a situation.

The Mayor tips his head at you and fiddles with his sash. God damn, you missed the Mayor." Ah, okay, that particular conversation we might not see in its entirety? Or maybe we will. In any case, right, WV was there! Aww, yes we missed him. But hey, seems like John at least took a little time before they travelled into the future, to get to know WV? I wonder if he ever found out he was his exile, probably not.

"DAVE: so what do we do nextJOHN: well, i’ll leave you to hang out with jade for a bit, while i go round up the others." Hey, it occurred to me, Dave & Jade could have a chat while they wait, work some things out. A similar conversation as that GO Dave & Jade presumably had right after their deaths, when they woke up next to each other in the dreambubbles!

"DAVE: what others... likeDAVE: everyoneJOHN: yes. rose, and the other four." Yeah, this is speeding things up rapidly as far as the meetup between the kids is concerned. Dave & Dirk might benefit from some alone time out in blankspace together, mirroring their LOTAK conversation. Also, this means John will be zapping into the outer reaches of the session to retrieve Dirk, hahah. ... I wonder if the glitches from the stardust will be causing any disturbance, probably not anymore since the stardust was blown out of the cartridge, admittedly at a "later" point in the timeline.

Blaperile has a good point, what about Roxy? I'm going to assume that, by the time gets around to breaking her out of jail, John 1 or an equivalent John has already visited her. But I don't remember if they talked about the ring already back then. I do still think John will be giving her the ring to go revive Calliope, but the exact feelings around the moment will remain to be seen.

"DAVE: i seeDAVE: so...DAVE: sorry if i seem a little slow here im just trying to figure this outDAVE: youre telling me that i made this sword because im destined to defeat lord english and weve all been training for that day our whole lives to some extent more or lessDAVE: and we are actually successful here like we overthrow the condesce and make a universe and everythingDAVE: and thenDAVE: we..." ... Yeah, this timeline won't spawn a universe, it's already been done, it exists, no point in repeating the whole process. This session is now void again. Dave tries to build a timeline in his head that makes sense, but the sad thing is, his future is uncertain. Though, he might not be sad at all? I mean, not if the future is his to be written, right?

"DAVE: sit on our asses for several years in the new universe and become adults and lead mostly boring lives instead of going off to fight him?" ... Or, does Dave really DO understand what has happened, that he's picking up left over plot behind some other version of him.

"JOHN: yes.DAVE: guess that makes senseDAVE: now that i think about it thats probably what i would want to do by the time we finally wrap up this whole hot messJOHN: yep, it is what you wanted to do.JOHN: and pretty much everyone else agreed, including me. so that’s what we did." Not sure how conscious the decision was for them at the time, but sure.

"DAVE: which uhDAVE: i guess begs the questionDAVE: if it seemed pointless at the time and nobody could be assed to go fight him when we all had our shit togetherDAVE: why does it suddenly become important to go back and beat him years later after we become a bunch of lazy adults with boring lives" You'd have to ask Rose but she wouldn't remember in this timeline so the point is kind of mute. :P

"JOHN: i pretty much had the same questions, dave.JOHN: there are probably some pretty good answers to that. definitely some complicated answers.JOHN: but to be honest... i kind of forget what they actually were?DAVE: god damn it john" Pfffffff. John "it seemed important at the time so here i am" Egbert, everyone.

"JOHN: it has something to do with canon unraveling, and such.JOHN: we all live outside canon in the future, and if we don’t do go do this, everything will stop meaning anything.DAVE: does...DAVE: anything you just said actually mean anything in the first place" There's a song that comes to mind from Volume 9, "Everything means Something to Somebody". To Dave, it must be sound like the same level of fortune cookie wisdom.

"JOHN: that’s a great question, dave.JOHN: one that i can’t say i’m qualified to answer!JOHN: i think the bottom line here is, this is what rose said we had to do.JOHN: so, that’s why we’re doing it.DAVE: sounds like a bullshit reason if i ever heard oneJOHN: you might be right.JOHN: but is it less of a bullshit reason than any other reason we currently have to go fight him?DAVE: ...DAVE: damnDAVE: youre rightDAVE: i dont know how you did it but you somehow instantly sold me completelyDAVE: fuck you adult egbert" At some point, the scales will buckle just from the shear heap of bullshit piled on.

"You zap Dave off to where he needs to go. The Mayor is still staring at you, blinking his buggy little eyes. You shoot him a warm smile and a thumbs-up before bouncing off into the ether of infinity." Awww, actually, leaving WV behind can't be all bad for him. He can find Serenity in here, PM too. Condesce might very well leave for the Furthest Ring, and then this session is up for sale to anyone. And with the royalty down for the count, WV can take over. Well, okay, WQ... probably blew up when Union Jack broke Prospit. Yeah, WV, PM & the still alive Derse agents are the top bill around, and if PM can trump Jack again (the three of him, Spades Slick & Union Jack included), then the remaining Derse agents would follow.

That marks the end of Meat, page 4 for us!

[writeanapocalae]

A Detective in Junction

Read it on Ao3 | Chapter 1: Diving Back In 

Warning: This is a Sequel to A Doctor in Union and may not make sense out of order

Sebastian groaned, glaring at his phone where it sat on the bedside table, lit up and buzzing and waking him. He slept lightly, napped through parts of the day, and there were many nights in which he didn’t sleep at all. He’d only barely fallen asleep. He should have ignored it,  wrapped an arm around Stefano’s shoulders and gone back to sleep. No one ever texted him though, there had to be a reason for it.

He picked it up, the air chilly against his arm. Stefano grumbled in his sleep, if he was asleep, as the cold traveled down his back from the shift in blankets. The phone didn’t tell him much when he answered it.

‘Located JO. -JK’

His glare deepened, not understanding the code. The phone number wasn’t one that he recognized. For a moment he considered it a joke, especially because of the JK, but then his brain turned on fully and he bolted up out of bed, and there was no way that Stefano wasn’t awake after that.

He had to go. He had to go now.

He called the number back, even as Stefano groggily pulled himself up into a sitting position, a hot hand soft on his back.

“Where is he?” Sebastian gritted out, the sleepiness still in his voice, making it play-doh and slow.

“I don’t know if I should say it over the phone, otherwise I would have texted the coordinates,” Kidman sounded tired but in the way that she hadn’t slept yet. Sebastian could hear people in the background, lots of people.

“I thought you said Mobius was gone.”

“It is, but that still leaves a lot of other people out there wanting the technology. I haven’t even made it to the facility yet; I’m just hoping that I’ll be the first one to enter it.”

A panic was starting to grow in Sebastian’s chest, his heart pounding. Stefano was rubbing circles against his shoulder blade, trying to calm him. Joseph, found and possibly alive. He’d been hoping, he wasn’t a praying man but he’d considered it a few times, for Joseph to be alright. He definitely wasn’t alright but he was, possibly, salvageable. This was the first he’d heard anything about Joseph since finding out he was even alive.

“Where are you?” he switched tactics.

“I’m at the airport in Chattanooga, Tenessee.”

Sebastian pulled out of Stefano’s hold and out of the bed, dragging his jeans on from where he’d dropped them the night before. Stefano was shadowing him, which he did so well now that he was healthy enough to move on his own, silent in the darkness. If he hadn’t been there when Stefano got better, he would have been terrified of the change.

“I’m on my way.”

“We’re on our way,” Stefano corrected. Sebastian looked at him, seeing only the light of his phone reflecting in Stefano’s eye and nothing more.

“Text me when you get here,” Kidman hung up.

“So, where are we off to in the middle of the night?” Stefano asked, scooting past Sebastian for his cane and then over to the light switch, making them both half blind with light.

“You don’t have to go anywhere,” Sebastian grabbed a shirt and threw it on, not even looking at what it was. “And I need you here, to watch over Lily.”

Stefano opened a drawer in his dresser, pulling out a pair of dark olive slacks. “You sound as if it’s some sort of emergency and you should know by now that I don’t intend to make you go through something like that on your own. We can get a sitter for Lily.”

Sebastian paused a moment, uncertain. He was fairly certain that he’d never mentioned Joseph to Stefano. He couldn’t believe that he hadn’t. Joseph had been such a huge part of his life and when he was gone, Sebastian had fallen into the worst depression of his life, not that he could claim all of that was on Joseph’s apparent death.

“It’s two in the morning,” Sebastian grumbled.

“Well, can it wait until an actually humane time of day then?” Stefano slipped into a pale yellow dress shirt, “You’re going to have to explain to both of us what’s going on, after all.”

“Yeah, yeah, shit, I’m sorry,” Sebastian rubbed at his face. “Yeah, I’ll tell you in the morning. I’m just, I’m going to get ready in the mean time. I don’t think I’m going to be able to sleep.”

Stefano nodded but didn’t get undressed. He moved with Sebastian in silence, packing along with him. He noted the low amount of clothing that Sebastian was packing and followed suit, as if he knew that there wouldn’t be much need for a change of clothes in whatever adventure Sebastian was going on. Sebastian wanted to give in, to tell him right then what was happening. He didn’t want to go over it twice though. He didn’t want to argue with Stefano right yet, even though he knew that this would lead to that. He didn’t want Stefano going with him, didn’t want him ever falling into STEM again.

By the time morning came and Lily was awake he was a jumbled pile of nerves, no matter how softly Stefano touched him, pressing kisses to his temple and sliding his hand along his back whenever he could. The moment that Stefano left him to go downstairs, to prepare breakfast and get coffee going Sebastian sat down on the edge of the bed, trying to breathe, trying to think. He’d been thinking all night but he still didn’t have any idea what he was going to say, how he was going to say it.

He went downstairs a few minutes later, finding Lily and Stefano at the dining room table talking about something in hushed tones. Lily looked nervous and he couldn’t read Stefano at all, even though he could see much more of his face than he used to, Stefano getting more comfortable with his hair being a bit shorter on the right side of his face.

“There you are,” Stefano gave him a soft smile and Sebastian’s chest tightened, the anxiety swelling. He couldn’t do this to them, not when they’d all gotten settled in. He didn’t want to do this at all, but he owed it to Joseph, didn’t trust anyone to go in there in his stead. “Would you mind alluding us on what had you so worried last night?”

Sebastian sat in his seat, a cup of coffee and a plate of toast and eggs already waiting for him. He sighed. They were so good to him, too good. They didn’t deserve any of this.

“Kidman texted me last night,” he said, not lifting his head to make eye contact. “She found my old partner, back from KCPD, in an abandoned Mobius facility. He’s over in Tennessee and I-

“And you intend to go there and fish him out, is that it?” Stefano interrupted, his cup hiding his face. “This would be Joseph, correct?”

Sebastian balked.

“I told him about Uncle Joseph,” Lily raised a hand meekly. “You went into the bad place with him the first time, right? You think he’s still in there or do you think he’s a bad guy now?”

Sebastian looked from Lily to Stefano, his mouth still open. “You knew about him?”

“Lily used him as an excellent teaching tool to explain your sexuality to me,” Stefano waved the question off. “You do realize that there is no way that you’re going alone, correct?”

“You’re not coming with, neither of you,” Sebastian glared, trying not to let any real anger shine through, “Kidman will be there, I’m not going to be alone. And no, I don’t think he’s Mobius. He’s probably still in STEM.”

“That’s not going to happen,” Stefano placed his coffee on the table, crossing his arms. “I am going with you.”

“You lost enough to STEM,” Sebastian shook his head, “and to Mobius. When I said you’re never going back there, I meant it.”

“And miss your reunion with your boyfriend? I think not. Sebastian, you lost far more to Mobius then I did; I lost most of what I had before I ever went to them. I do not intend to lose you to them as well! Do not forget, as well, that I had a great deal of power in Union, that I understood how to bend through the logic of that place. I would be irreplaceable to you.”

“I’m eleven years old!” Lily added, “I don’t want to come with but I’m old enough to watch out for myself! I think you’ll do way better together than you would alone! Buddy systems and all that!”

They were teaming up on him and not in the way that he’d expected. He’d thought that they’d both be against him going at all. They must have both known how much Joseph meant to him, which didn’t make any sense to him, Stefano didn’t seem like the kind of person who would be willing to share him, especially not in a romantic sense. He found himself smiling, the anxiety not gone but the anxiety for their responses at least drowned out.

---

The airport was busy and it was hard to get through the crowds with their suitcases and the cane that Stefano hated so much. He pretended he didn’t rely on it as much as he really did but, after a few hours on a cramped airplane his legs felt weak and stiff. He wanted to hold Sebastian’s hand, not the cane, but he rested against it with each step.

He could feel anxiety prick at him, a thick buzzing in his veins, an urge to stop and breathe at the same time that it was propelling him forward. He swallowed it down. He didn’t need it. It wasn’t helpful. Sebastian needed him to be strong right then. He didn’t know if he could be. He kept thinking about going back down, wondering if he would wake up this time, since he’d barely been able to last time. He’d been lucky last time and he’d been lucky every day for the past year; that luck would run out eventually.

Sebastian raised an arm and Stefano jumped, not expecting it. Sebastian was on his bad side, which he did when he was nervous, thinking that Stefano didn’t recognize it. Usually it made him feel safe, having someone he trusted protecting that side, but he couldn’t feel safe now, he couldn’t feel much aside from dread.

Sebastian was waving to a woman, to Juli, who was waiting for them at one of the little cafes that cost a fortune. Stefano had only met her a few times, when he was healing, and he knew that he had made a terrible series of impressions in such a weak and meager state. He held his head higher, tried to be more imposing. He’d come a long way.

She didn’t smile when she approached them, just clutched the briefcase at her side and made sure there was no one watching her. She’d told Sebastian that Mobius was done for, but she was far too paranoid for such a response. He’d say that it made him uneasy, but he was already uneasy.

“I rented a car, come on,” she said, in place of a greeting. They followed her in silence, out of the air conditioning and out into the heat, to a small black car that was so uncharacteristic that it had to be on purpose. She opened the trunk and they both put their bags inside before climbing into the back, Juli driving.

Once they were belted in, Stefano’s cane over his lap, Juli opened the briefcase, pulling out some files and passing them back. Stefano took one while Sebastian had the other two and the car was started and out of the parking lot before they even had them open.

The file that Stefano had was on the Core, a ten year old boy named Jonathon. His last name was a large black stripe. Stefano’s hands started to shake as he read about the boy, about his high scores in standardized tests, about his wealth of empathy, about his love of art. He was just like Lily, even the terminology was the same as what Sebastian had quoted from Mobius. Lily had been taken away in the falsified fire though and, for Jonathon, the opposite was true, the fire had claimed his parents. There was no one to care that he was gone.

Jonathon was written as being clever and artistic, showing great promise but with obsessive traits. Stefano wasn’t reading in too much depth, he didn’t want to know all of the details. This all felt too familiar. He glanced over at Sebastian’s file instead, where he was reading on a young woman, Amber Fairen. She was a romance writer, 25, but none of her stories had ever been published. At the top of the page was the same terminology that was on Jonathon’s, just with a different number: Core Candidate #9.

“Are there multiple Cores?” Stefano asked, reaching out for the other file in Sebastian’s lap.

“Yeah, this is the most experimental version of STEM I’ve ever heard of,” Juli explained. “There’s no people involved, so you aren’t going to have to deal with civilians, aside from the Cores. I guess they saw that there were too many issues with just having a single Core in place and decided to try with three.”

“And the reasoning for there being a child?” Stefano continued. Sebastian was only half listening but he perked up at that, anger flashing over his features.

“Same reason as with Lily. There’s a level of innocence in children that haven’t been exposed to trauma and they are impressionable. They’re easy to control and manipulate.”

Stefano reached out to put his hand on Sebastian’s shoulder. He could see the tension growing in his brow.

“No people though, that’s good, that means that there wont be any monsters, nothing like the Lost.”

Sebastian glanced at him. He swallowed. He’d never seen Sebastian so angry and he couldn’t help but feel like it was directed at him. He was just trying to get some answers though, know as much as he could before they went in.

“There’s another major difference, they implied a Lucid Unit for Cerebral Integration,” Juli explained. There was no answer from the two men and she paused, her eyes trained on the road before she went into it, collecting her thoughts, “I saw a little bit of the planning for the Luci, but I never saw it used, I didn’t know it was completed. It’s a sort of artificial intelligence that was put in place for ease of cataloging and mapping STEM, since the map could be changed by the Cores at any time. They’re also used to report any errors to the Mobius members who would enter for testing purposes.”

An artificial intelligence? Stefano had heard that such things were in development but he didn’t think anything like that would be usable so early. Mobius acted as if they were gods though, it was completely possible that they had surpassed the rest of the world by bypassing ethics and other pesky laws.

“You think the Luci could be dangerous?” Sebastian finally spoke up, handing Amber’s file over to Stefano. He didn’t open the next one. Stefano was certain it was Joseph’s.

“I’m not going to say they wouldn’t be. With the way the Cores and the other test subjects have altered the surroundings in the past, I wouldn’t trust anything to be safe really. Just take it slow.”

---

He didn’t think there was a chance, not really. He hadn’t imagined that Joseph could be alive, not after he saw Kidman shoot him, but then he’d gone back in after Lily and Kidman had told him that Joseph was alive. He’d been so distracted though, with rescuing Lily, with getting Stefano out of STEM and then back on his feet, that he hadn’t had time to really think about Joseph. Joseph, who had been in STEM this whole time, had been living in one of these nightmare worlds, with only two other people, who could have been allies or enemies.

He should have tried harder. He should have tried earlier. He shouldn’t have left Kidman to hunt for him on her own.

She pulled up to the facility, which looked like an old water purification building, with mildew growing up the walls and the grass overgrown and a few creeping vines climbing up the sides. Stefano gave him a small smile, a squeeze to the shoulder, before he unbuckled and climbed out of the car. Sebastian sighed, following his lead.

It reeked. It smelled like Beacon, like the sewers underneath it, where the water was a dark and deep red from all of the blood and viscera that was mixed in with the water. It smelled like rotten meat and cold bile and mildew and the sickeningly sweet scent of garbage on a hot day. As they drew closer to the door, which sat open with a chair shoved against it to keep it from closing. There was a pile of limbs and flies and mistakes, of the bodies that Juli must have dragged out of the building all on her own. She wasn’t looking at them, she was unreadable, her face blank as she went into the building.

It looked like a Mobius building on the inside, all white tile and cement, cold and barren and clean, aside from the swivel chair that was at the end of a long smear of blood. He squeezed Stefano’s hand. He shouldn’t have been here. This wasn’t Stefano’s job. Stefano gave him a small smile and a squeeze of the hand back, as if there was nothing wrong. Everything was wrong.

Kidman hadn’t been overly talkative before this, had always given more questions than she answered, but now she led them past offices and labs and examination rooms without a word. She was pale, a sheen of sweat on her brow. She looked like she was coming down with something. She may have been, just from touching all of those corpses.

The STEM room was more complicated than the one for Union, which was more complicated than the one for Beacon. There were three of those metal cylinders, the same kind that Lily had been in, in a cluster in the center, the wires and tubes coming from them bound in different colored transparent tubing to keep them separate and recognizable as they led to monitors. There were eight tubs around the tubes and they were ergonomic, actually built for comfort and short time use. The people who went in weren’t supposed to stay in, the trips were meant to be shorter.

There were blood stains everywhere.

“You should get dressed, do whatever you need to do before getting in,” Kidman explained. “I can give you a moment if you want.”

There were security cameras in the corners of the room. Those made him feel a lot less private than Kidman not being there would. He didn’t care if Kidman saw him naked, he didn’t have much shame in those regards, she’d seen him much worse than just naked. Stefano looked uncomfortable though and his eye was trained directly at one of the tubs as if it were something much more than it was. He was looking at it because he knew what it actually was.

“Yeah. Yeah, that sounds good,” he shooed her away, letting go of Stefano’s hand to stroke up his arm. He didn’t even turn to watch her leave, had his attention on the man before him, who was pale and still intent on that tub. “Hey, you okay?”

Stefano bit his lip and nodded. “We’ll be in contact, won’t we? She can extract us whenever we need to be?”

“I have no intention of letting you out of my sight,” Sebastian promised, wished that his older promises were still holding up. “But yeah, we’ll both have communicators, remember? If we get separated, we’ll be able to find each other. And we can talk to Kidman whenever we need to.”

Stefano set his cane down, resting it against the tub. He drew closer to Sebastian, his hands finding Sebastian’s waist and stroking along it to wrap around him.

“You’re scared.”

“Of course I am,” Stefano admitted, laying his head against Sebastian’s chest. “You heard what she said. There won’t be any people in there, aside from the five of us.”

Sebastian hugged Stefano back. “Isn’t that a good thing?”

Stefano shook his head against him. “It means there will be less obstacles, I’m sure, less monsters, less casualties if we fail, but it also means less distractions.”

Sebastian pulled away from him a bit, “Less distractions? Isn’t that a good thing?”

“Before, when there were more minds connected, their obsession with normality, their ideas of what Union was supposed to be, made it harder to be manipulated for those of us who knew we were within a dream. I could create, of course, but when I did so in someplace other than my own space there was a chance that it would revert to how it had been. There will be less distractions in this STEM, which means that we’ll be able to change it without trying.”

“You think you’ll revert,” Sebastian sighed, realizing what Stefano was dancing around. He closed his eyes. “Stefano, that’s not going to happen. You were changed by Theodore, by Paolo, to become that killer. It’s up to you what you’ll become now. And I’ll be at your side all the while. If you think you’re going to falter, you can lean on me.”

“And if I hurt you?” Stefano asked.

“That’s not going to happen.” Sebastian kissed him, long and slow, reminding him that there was more to him than words. He was a man of action and that wasn’t always a good thing, but Stefano melted against his touch.

---

He had never expected to come back here. He had never wanted to. Juli had told them what to expect and it was so different from Union, but he still didn’t think that he was ready. He lay down in the tub, letting the fluids wash over him. His hands were on the sides of the tub though, knuckles white, and he turned to Sebastian, hoping for just one more argument, one more excuse as to why he shouldn’t come. He had been brave before, had acted like this wasn’t a compounding of trauma, but now it was happening, now it was real, and he wanted escape. Sebastian’s eyes were closed, his brows furrowed in concentration. They were going to do this.

“Don’t worry,” Juli put her hand on his shoulder, plugging him into the machine. “I’ll be out here for you. If it ever gets to be too much, you let me know. I’ll extract you as fast as I can.”

He nodded. That helped a little, even though he knew that if they came out they’d have to start over from the initial insertion point. He let go of the edges and let himself slide further under the liquid, taking one last look at the metal tanks that held the Cores.

This wasn’t like Union. In Union there had been only Lily and he hadn’t seen how they’d kept her in a metal chamber. There had been hundreds of tubs, like the ones that they were in, all of them citizens of that imaginary world.

He wasn’t ready for this. He’d ever be ready.

He closed his eye, following Sebastian’s lead, and suddenly he was falling back into the fluid, falling and plummeting, eye flying open to watch as so much of that white liquid fell away from him. He was unable to breathe, unable to fight against his drop into the depths. He felt himself start to choke on the nothing, reaching at nothing, wondering why Juli wasn’t pulling him up, wasn’t pulling him out. The liquid wasn’t that deep but he was miles down, the lights from outside a soft glow in the distance. He was struggling, trying to shove his way upward, but he felt a weight on his chest, a weight that was pulling him down. He opened his mouth but all that came out were the air bubbles that he so desperately needed.

He was dying. He had been a fool to agree to this. He’d known it at the time, too. But now he was drowning. Now he was suffocating. He was dying and it was pain and it was hands on his throat, in his lungs, shoving liquid into him.

And then it stopped and he was floating and there was no liquid around him. Either that or he didn’t need to breathe. He wasn’t sure, but he wasn’t suffering any more. He was slowly sliding down towards a field of pale blue grass, all of it reaching up for him, looking as if it would catch him and cradle him and pull him down into comfort. He looked around but he didn’t see Sebastian anywhere in this space. He wondered if Sebastian was in a place quite this beautiful or as terrifying.

He drew towards the bottom and he realized that there was no grass beneath him. The gentle swaying beneath him was not soft stocks but drowned fingers pale and blue from lack of air. They were attached to reaching arms, ready to grab him and keep him, to drag him down and make him one of them. He threw out his arms, trying to slow his decent, looking around for anything that he could grab onto. There was nothing but that field. He had no choice.

He kicked out, trying to keep the hands away. They did not care about broken or bloody fingers. The trailed their fingers over his socks, clung to his lounge wear, and held him tightly. He considered kicking off his pants in order to escape them but they were already holding him by the ankles, their skin so cold that it chilled him. It was elegant, in a way, the way that the hands all moved together, the field a garden of expression. It looked like an art piece that he would have made in a different life. Where he was now though, on this side of the exhibit, he was not so much an audience member as he was an unwilling participant.

The hands were heavier than the weight on his chest had been and when they grabbed they pulled, arms sliding into the field as if they were nothing more than tube worms. They were forced to release him as their fingers were separated by unadulterated earth. He stood among them, more tall ones waving at him, beckoning him closer, others trying to shove behind him. They were pointing him in a direction, towards a slanted building that kept flickering and flashing, glitching out into squares before scrambling into a different building altogether. There were five of them, if he had to guess, though it was confusing as some of them stole parts of others and they didn’t cycle in an order. The shorter ones were stretched out to match the heights of the taller ones, adding to the confusion. He did recognize the apartment building he had grown up in though and seeing it filled him with a dread that he had not allowed himself to feel while with Sebastian, ignoring his own painful childhood memories while recounting what good ones he still remembered.

There was no where else to go. He had to go towards the building. As he moved the arms shuffled and tightened, pulling down so he could cross, stepping on uncaring fingers as he went. Eventually the fingers ran out and the field looked like it was made out of black glass, only a few feet away from the entrance.

The building glitched, breaking into more pieces, breaking up further than it had any time before, and then shattering, colors and squares breaking apart and flying out, changing shape and color, forming a street that led to a town in the distance, wispy woods growing around it, trying to invade the cement past a weak wooden fence.

There was a fork and down the other side was Sebastian, who didn’t seem to be anywhere near as disoriented as he was. Sebastian was, however, smoking slightly and Stefano knew not to ask about whatever fire Sebastian had had to put out on his way here. He knew Sebastian’s past and he knew his nightmares. He didn’t need to bring them up.

He was glad to see that Sebastian was dressed like a normal person, no wandering around in the sweats that he had been in when they had stepped into the tubs just minutes before. He was wearing a brown, pinstriped vest and brown slacks that Stefano had never seen before, his white dress shirt unbuttoned a bit to reveal a hint of his chest, his neck unconstrained by a tie. Glancing down at himself he was glad to see that he was decently dressed as well, crimson slacks and a deep blue satin dress shirt, much more comfortable and much more him than the comfortable clothes he’d been told to wear. He recognized them as well, old clothes but feeling fresh and new, some of the first clothes he’d purchased once being released from the military’s care in America.

Stefano rushed over as best he could with the light limp that still threatened him so often, taking Sebastian’s hand in his own and drawing close. Sebastian gave his hand a light squeeze and offered a damaged smile, which Stefano would always take, even if it filled him with a concern he was still learning how to form.

“Regretting it yet?” Sebastian asked, trying to tease but there was no merriment in his voice.

Stefano tugged on his hand, making him stumble closer to him so he could press a kiss to his cheek, to pretend that what he had seen had not unsettled him and made his hands itch to create. “I would only regret it if I did not find you on the other side.”

Sebastian’s smile reached his eyes then, before they turned away, towards a lightly glowing figure down the road. Stefano turned his attention to her as well, although there was no where else he could look, eventually, as she was standing in front of a roundabout which held a large imposing tree. There was a wooden sign planted in the roundabout with a very familiar image of a tree that looked far more like a brain than could be coincidental.

“Hello,” the woman said as they drew near, her voice a perfect monotone. Stefano hated her immediately. Everything about her was flat and bland, even though she was glowing faintly, even through her bland gray pantsuit. “You may call me Luci. Welcome to Junction.”

Stefano was impressed. He wasn’t expecting the A.I. to look so human. It was accurate but uncanny, just slightly off in the motions.

She cocked her head, eyes looking them over in a mechanical manner and Stefano was brought to the conclusion that she was scanning thm. “I am an A.I., set in motion to accommodate and direct Mobius scientists through Junction. The fact that you do not recognize me give me cause to believe that you are an infiltration in the system. Name and registration, please.”

Sebastian looked at Stefano, but he had no registration here either.

“We were sent in for repairs,” Stefano explained, trying to come up with something believable, “and we are not altogether Mobius scientists. We were not given proper registration numbers as we were expected to meet other scientists here. Give us a moment to contact our superiors?”

She looked at him as blankly as before. “There have been no Mobius agents within STEM in 298 days. The Cores are out of alignment and need to be re-calibrated. There is a long list of repairs that need to be accomplished, but I cannot allow you entry until you have your registration.”

“Understood, my dear,” Stefano gave her a smile that would have charmed a real woman of her ilk. She did not respond to it. “We will return momentarily.”

He still had Sebastian’s hand in his own and he turned them to go back a few steps, pulling out the radio that was stuck on his belt, unnoticed until just then. Sebastian was looking at him quizzically but that was fine, there were many times in which Sebastian didn’t catch onto things as readily as he did.

“Juli? It seems we’ve run into a small hindrance.”

“Already? That’s impressive,” she sounded amused at least, if a little out of breath.

“We’ve met the illustrious Luci and she was hoping for our registration, could you make us some, right quick?”

He heard something drop heavily onto the floor, with a light squish that, paired with the lack of reality he was now in, reminded him greatly of his exhibit in City Hall. “Uh, yeah, give me a few seconds.”

He clipped the radio back onto his belt. Sebastian looked proud. He’d had people tell him that they were proud of him before, had people tell him how impressive his work was, but Sebastian was the first one who made him feel like it was true, that it wasn’t a stroke to his ego. He could still feel Luci’s cold eyes on them and, whatever mood that would swell in his heart was dashed before anything could come of it.

“Alright,” Juli sighed from her home on Stefano’s waist, “get the radio close up to it.”

Stefano returned to Luci and held out the radio, letting Juli state their names, falsified occupations, and a long list of numbers. Stefano tried to memorize his but it was too long and she only said it once before a small smile flitted onto Luci’s boring face.

“Welcome to Junction, might I point you in a direction of your choosing or shall I give you the list of malfunctions?”

“We’re heading for the Core, Joseph Cedric Oda,” Sebastian said, deliberate and to the point.

Luci seemed to think on that for a moment, getting confused more than a machine had any right to. “The Cores are not in proper alignment and may not be in the correct quadrants,” she explained. “Block 24A-31E is Core JO’s primary state of establishment, otherwise known as The Junction City Police Department.”

“Of course,” Sebastian gritted his teeth. Stefano didn’t understand why. They had both been detectives together, Sebastian had told him so on the flight over, so finding him in a place that he would find comfort and understanding in was not much of a surprise. “Thanks.”

“A pleasure to be of assistance,” Luci stilled, no longer active now that it was clear that Sebasastian was done speaking with her.

“Come on,” Sebastian squeezed his hand, “We’re going to need to get a move on, I don’t care if Juli said there are no monsters, this place gives me the creeps.”

Stefano nodded. Even with Luci offline he felt like he was being watched.

@chibi–raiden @detectivesebcas @angelicsociopath@sebcastellanyes @ruvikkin@lokis-queen-hepta-the-destroyer@samofgallifrey27 @supportivepsychopath​ @zellanoir​

[theshapeshifter100]

Guess What? I’m Not a Robot Ch42

Summary: Jericho and Android Allies talk, and Paul actually gets annoyed.

Chapter warnings: mentions of being shot, some strong language

Word Count: 1,588

11PM Monday 15th November 2038

The small space didn’t actually have that many chairs. Allison didn’t give a damn and sat down in one, while the rest of the humans either felt too awkward or just decided not to bother.

“Okay, er,” for once Alex sounded a little unsure. “Megan has a lot of the numbers written down, and is usually our note taker. Megan, are you...” Alex trailed off as they realised that Megan had already made herself comfortable. She sat propped against the wall using her knees as a table. Her sling was tucked against her chest and she scribbled out a title with her right hand. “... Are you good to go?”

Megan clicked the pen a couple of times and nodded, sending a thumbs up to the group around the pen. All without looking up.

Alex looked at Paul for a second, who nodded and shrugged. This wasn’t exactly surprising.

“Ooookay,” Alex turned back to the main group. “What would you like to start with?”

“We’ve been out of the loop for a few days,” Markus admitted, “can you tell us about the outside world?”

“Yeah, President Warren’s been hiding behind Congress as they try and figure things out. Not much has happened yet, although there has been word of an anti android protest being planned in Washington next week.”

“We’re so crashing it,” Allison smirked.

“Do you have the numbers for that?” Markus asked, concerned. “Connor told me there was only a few of you.”

“Megan, numbers?” Alex prompted, and Megan complied, staring resolutely at her pad of paper.

“Several thousand people responded to the anti android post across the country, which isn’t that many really if we compare to the total US population. Currently Android Allies has three chapters. Detroit has ten, California has ninety and thirty in Alabama. We’ve gathered some in the Phoenix and general Arizona area, but no official count yet. There’s some international support from Europe, but they have so far been silent.”

“So, not enough to crash a protest,” Markus summarised.

“We can counter protest,” Ivy suggested. “We just need to get it online and spread the word.”

“And you think that’ll work?” North asked, part curious, part incredulous.

“Never know until we try,” Alex responded. “Plus, we usually get good turnouts from random people walking by.”

“This protest wouldn’t happen to be scheduled for when we’re supposed to send an emissary to the White House?” Markus asked.

“No idea, when are you going?”

“In a few days time.”

“Okay, the protest isn’t until next week. Guess that isn’t public knowledge.”

“Apparently not,” Markus shifted for a second. “I was hoping to ask about a potential partnership between our two groups. I hadn’t expected you to all be, so young.”

“If it helps, Julia isn’t in school anymore.”

“Noted,” Markus filed that away.

“I don’t know,” Julia carefully opposed. “My uncle’s a Detroit Police Captain, it might reflect badly on him.”

“Nothing is set in stone,” Markus assured. “That’s what this meeting is for.”

They all continued to talk, and Megan continued to take notes. After some debate, it was decided that Alex would be the more public face of Android Allies, as they could handle attention better. Everyone else was welcome at Jericho and to fill in if need be. Megan would continue her role as note taker, even if it wasn’t entirely necessary, it was good for both sides to have a copy of events.

“Paul,” Markus came to him. “How would you feel being a go between with our two groups?”

Paul froze in place and Megan glanced at him. He wasn’t happy, in fact, he looked close to panicking.

“Ride the shitstorm,” she mumbled, intending for only Paul to hear. With her pen she began to tap a steady rhythm and Paul began to calm down. None of this had gone unmissed by North and Connor, both of whom were looking at Paul and Megan. Connor had an expression of confusion initially before it cleared, and North looked suspicious.

“I, I suppose that makes sense,” Paul unfroze. “I am the only android in the Detroit chapter and would I be correct in assuming that everyone downstairs would be more comfortable with an android?”

“You would be,” Markus agreed.

“I see, then I should accept.”

“We’re not forcing you,” Josh added. “If you really don’t want to do it, then that’s fine.”

“No, it makes sense for me to do it.”

“Very well,” Markus logged that away faster than Megan could write it. “I think this concludes most of what I wanted to talk about with you today.”

“Cool!” Allison stood up. “Anything else you need from us?”

“I would like to speak with Paul alone,” Markus stated, and Paul instantly looked at Megan, who had frozen for a split second before continuing to pack up. Without a word he held out his hand to help her up, and she took it.

“Thanks,” she murmured, still not looking at the other assembled androids.

“You okay with that Paul?” Alex asked, not sure if Paul had been paying attention.

“Yes, I was just helping the injured to their feet.”

“My legs work just fine,” Megan muttered.

“Then why did you accept my help?”

Megan mock scowled at him, both understanding that other side was messing around. “I’ll see you outside you big goof.”

“Don’t wait up,” Paul said, pausing at a soft squeal emanating from Alex. “Do you have to ship right now?”

“I ship all the time,” Alex had their hands clasped together in glee. “Anyway, let’s wait outside guys,” Alex waved everyone out and closed the door behind them. They all took seats at various heights on the stairs, Megan being closest to the door.

Inside North turned to Paul.

“So, what is your deal with these humans?” she asked.

“Deal?” Paul was confused. “There’s no deal.”

“Then why do you stay with them?”

“What North means,” Markus interrupted. “Is that you’re clearly a deviant, and have no reason to tie yourself to humans, but you still do.”

“And you want to know why,” Paul finished, falling into thought. “It is difficult to explain,” it wasn’t really, but he wasn’t sure if he could properly put it into words.

“Please try,” Markus prompted.

“I’m only really here because of Megan. We, understand each other, support each other. She needs me, and I need her.”

North didn’t look convinced. “What’s she got on you?”

“That I’m scared of dogs,” Paul smirked to make it clear that was a joke.

“So, you stay together out of mutual respect and need?” Markus tried to sum up.

“More or less. I’ll admit it is a little one sided, but Megan is the reason I’m a deviant.”

“What did she do to you?” North asked.

“It’s more what she nearly did to herself. After a period of decent mental health she began to spiral rapidly and turned to self harm. I panicked and stopped her, afraid that she might take her own life.”

“You still don’t owe her anything,” North retorted. “If anything, she owes you!”

Paul was started to get annoyed by her. “Did you see that her left arm was in a sling?”

“Yes, what does that-?”

“That’s from a gunshot wound at point blank range. Originally meant for me,” Paul was glaring at North now. “She took a bullet for me, and you can be damn sure that I would do the same.”

North was out of retorts now, and stepped back.

“I think that sums everything I wanted to ask you,” Markus admitted. “Except for one thing. How would you feel about coming to live with Jericho? With us?”

The question threw Paul for a second, even though it was a fairly logical one. He was an android in Detroit, makes sense for him to be here, and he could communicate with Android Allies remotely. Despite the logic, he felt an emotional response. A strong, negative one; one that almost hurt.

“I, I don’t think so,” Paul shook his head. “Thank you for the offer, but I don’t that would work for me.”

“She’s not forcing you to stay, is she?” North asked, and Paul’s face darkened.

“Megan has never made me do anything,” he growled.

“That’s enough,” Markus stepped in before things got out of hand. “Thank you Paul. Would you mind sending in Megan? I’d like to talk to her too.”

“Fine,” Paul turned and left, simmering with anger.

He let the door fall shut behind him and joined Android Allies on the stairs. Megan was the first over to sit next to him.

“Do you want to talk about it?” she asked, and Paul shook his head. “How about talking through the emotion?”

“I know what I’m feeling,” Paul snapped, and instantly regretted it, Megan was trying to help. “Sorry. North just pisses me off.”

“That’s impressive,” Megan smirked.

“Markus wants to talk to you. Just you,” he added when Alex started to stand up.

“Me? Why?” Megan asked, more than a little apprehensive at the idea.

“I forgot to ask,” Paul sighed. “Head in. I’ll be fine.”

“You sure?” she asked, and when Paul nodded she stood up. She walked hesitantly towards the door, and took a step back as Josh, North and Connor exited. She didn’t pay them any thought, and thankfully they left the door ajar.

“Come in,” Markus prompted, and Megan nudged the door open wide enough for her to slip in, and shut it behind her.

So, basically, Paul has to convince the Jericho crew that he and Megan are cool and there's nothing dodgy going on. And Megan's being anti social. I saw a post on tumblr about introverted characters remaining that way because it's not a thing to 'overcome', and my mind immediately went to the bit where she was getting ready to make notes!

You might be able to tell, but I'm not a big fan of North. I appreciate that you need someone to advocate the violent option and her backstory puts her in the perfect position for it. I just hate the forced romance between her and Markus. At best it's forced, at worst (aka when you go completely pacifist) it's completely out of left field and makes no sense. I understand that having multiple romance options was too much for the development team to handle, but surely there could have been an option for Markus to not be romantically involved with North? Sorry, it drives me up the wall... Other Options Flowchart

(Paul) Decline Markus's offer

(Paul) Be serious to North's probing. Be annoyed.

(Paul) Remain calm. Start shouting

Tags! @nightmarejim @septicart-appreciation

[yourkittywilde]

i like me better when i’m with you

TAGGING  → @yourkittywilde​ & @sammynolanh​

TIME FRAME  → ummm mid feburary (i think. i’m terrible).

LOCATION  → NYC locations + Sammy’s apartment

WARNINGS  → Alcohol. Also this is HELLA long. 

NOTES  → Sammy returns from filming in LA. There’s coffee, napping, and drinking. And they decide to move in together when they get to LA. 

KITTY

Kitty was still debating even showing up to meet Sammy as she got to the coffee shop. It was easier to feel like she didnt need or want him around when he was thousands of miles away. She had done everything she could think of to prepare herself for his realization that they couldn't work any longer -- shed given dude back, she'd taken down the Polaroids from her wall, and kept Netflix off since it always seemed to watch to recomend she watch his movies again . Kitty had told him over and over again that she was terrible at relationships and she would eventually push him away, and the blonde felt as though it may have sunk in. Her heart sinks to her stomach when she sees her boyfriend -- he was still her boyfriend, right? -- and she wants to turn and run. But she could hardly avoid him forever (she'd tried that once). She swallowed nervously and took a seat across from him, looking down at the cup in his hand and up at him. "Hey. Welcome home."

SAMMY

Sammy was so lost in his thoughts, looking down at his hands, that he hadn’t even seen or heard Kitty sit across from him until he heard her voice which removed him from thoughts, a smile appearing on his lips without a second thought. He was happy to see her, and even went to hug her until he remembered the terms they were on and he reserved himself. He didn’t even know if she wanted him to touch her. “I- sorry... hey, thanks. It’s good to be back.” He offered her a small smile. “How are you?” He asked, not that he really expected to get an answer from her but he did want to know.

KITTY

Kitty's lips press together sadly as she watches Sammy move in and then change his mind. This was awkward... They really should have done this over text message or the phone or something equally less confronting."its fine... and yeah, I bet." She says simply, her fingers idly combing through her hair. "Yup... i'm great." It was the answer that fell from her lips whenever she was forced to engage in small talk.  Truthfully this week had somehow managed to be one of the best weeks of her life... while simultaneously sucking. "How's Dude?"

SAMMY

Sammy chewed on his lip and sat quietly in his chair, hearing Kitty make bullshit conversation. He only had one question on his mind and he couldn’t wait to get an answer. “Did you come here to break up with me?” He blurted out, maybe a little too loud. “Do you not love me anymore?” He asked a lot quieter and feeling extremely vulnerable like he didn’t want to hear the answer. He looked away from her, feeling himself become emotional as her took deep breaths.

KITTY

Her eyebrows furrow, and she's surprisingly not even concerned about who might be listening to their conversation. "I dont love you." It meant to come off as a question, but the way her heart was beating from her chest was making it difficult to breathe let alone fully understand what was happening right now and respond appropriately. She had been just waiting for it to be over with. "I don't want to break up with you." The words stumble only a little. "I mean, I thought about it... a lot. When we started dating I was basically homeless, I was this poor college student, and you were... well, you." She shrugs. "And I want to be successful, Sammy. Like not the sort of successful people settle for, the sort where Im on top. I dont want to always be questioned if I'm getting somewhere because I'm Samuel Hummel's girlfriend." She pauses, and steals Sammy's coffee, bringing it to her lips -- she needed caffeine way more than he did right now. "But aren't you here to end things anyway? So none of this even matters."

SAMMY

Sammy felt his heart drop to the floor but continued listening as she spoke, a mix of emotions running through him. He scoffed. “Kitty, I want you to be successful. I want you to be more than successful... and like you’ve said, I’m a C list actor. I’m nothing. You’re fucking awesome, you’ll come on top because you’re you...” he huffed and furrowed his brows as she took his cup from him. The sleeve falling apart from him picking at it.  “End things? You’re the one who didn’t want to talk to me. ...I just want to fix things... I just want to understand why you won’t open up to me... I thought we were past this.”

KITTY

"You're B list." She admits. "And you're not nothing. Everyone loves you. But the world is biased." She shakes her head and slides back the tattered coffee cup to the brunette. "Theres always some old white man somewhere who believes a woman cant make it without a man." Aka her father. But sammy was right, everytime kitty thinks she's making progress opening up to Sammy, life intervenes and her first response is to push the man away. But she didnt really know how to put that into words. "How am I supposed to know when I can open up to you and when I cant? You're never here, Sammy. I get it, you have work or... whatever...but, while you've been off working I've been here."

SAMMY

As Kitty pushed back the cup to him, he took hold of her hand gently and nodded “You’re right. There will always be someone saying you can’t do it. You don’t think I’ve heard it a million times? I’m a joke to some people and while, yes it sucks, I still believe in what I do and so should you... Who fucking cares what the others think when you’re out there being successful and living your best life... I know you’re going to make it big someday.” He assured her and shook his head as he squeezed her hand. “Kitty, you can always talk to me, no matter where I am. I’m always going to be there to listen and support you. I don’t know where you get the idea that I won’t.” He sighed.

KITTY

Kitty doesnt move away when Sammys hand touches hers. In fact she could almost feel herself start to relax -- It was comforting, the sort of comfort she'd never been able to find with anyone else. "I don't care what everyone thinks." Not really a lie. "I care what my parents think." Kitty looks down at their hands, and sighs under her breath. "If I can't get them to believe I can make it on my own, how do I get the rest of the world?" Her gaze moves to meet Sammy, and she bites down on her lip softly as she listens to him talk. "I cant do that. I can't just call you up and talk to you about my feelings... I'm not that girl. I need you here." She takes a breath, and reminds herself that hes a celebrity and they're in public. "I'm sorry for telling you I didn't want to talk to you? But since when do you actually listen to me when I tell you to leave? Or stay away? So, i dont know, it seemed fair to assume you were done."

SAMMY

Sammy nodded, knowing what it was about now. “I know, babe. But you’ll show them. You’re going to make it big and then they’ll know, whether they accept it or not.” He brought her hand up to his lips and then caressed it against his face. “I know and it hasn’t been easy for me to be away either. I know it’s not the same as us being together and I’m sorry for being away for so long but it is something I can’t control, Kitty... that’s something we’ll have to work on and hopefully get better at. But once we’re in LA it shouldn’t be a problem....” he sighed and dropped their hands back down but still holding hers in his. “I wanted to to give you the space you asked for... I was going to call you and all but then you gave Dude back and I didn’t know what to think... I thought you were done with me, too.” He confessed.

KITTY

Kitty nods, she logically knows Sammy had no control over his filming schedule... She just missed her boyfriend. Besides, he'd done everything he could to be back as much as possible. "I know." There's a faint smile on her lips for the first time when he kisses her hand, and all she wants to do is lean over the table and actually kiss him. "I don't think I can do long distance anymore." She says honestly. "So if you could plan your next movie for when I'm in L.A that would be great." Kitty's tone is very matter of fact, because while she trusted Sammy -- shockingly -- it was too easy for her to push him away wen he wasn't here, for her to just assume he wasn't coming back. She shakes her head, "No...I'm not done with you."

SAMMY

Sammy felt a sigh of relief leave his lips and his body visibly relaxed at her words. They were out of the woods for now. “I have no upcoming movies, I got all my filming out of the way this month... any news on jobs out in LA for you?” He asked, hopeful for her.  He moved over to the chair next to Kitty’s just wanting to be closer to her. He leaned against her and kissed her cheek. “Good, cause I’m not done with you either. We should go out tonight.” He suggested.

KITTY

Kitty actually found herself smiling when Sammy moved closer, an hour ago she was convinced her relationship was coming to an end, smiling didn't feel even close to doable. She shifts her hand to rest contently on his leg, "I actually got a job." Her smile widened, it was the first time she had  said the words out loud... Or told anyone besides a professor at NYU. "I got the job... It's entry level obviously,  and I think there's currently a 'kitty wilde destroyed my life club' because of it, but I had a meeting with TMZ on Valentine's Day -- I think they got sick of my daily emails with new and amazing reasons why they should hire me." She shrugged. "Anywhom... I pitched a few stories, and they didn't hate them, I guess. I found out on Monday I got a job... I wanted to tell you, but well... yeah. Just don't tell me that I'm an awful person. That's old news, and besides, I did what I needed to do." She turned to him and bit down on her lip as she realized she sort of just rambled on. "Yes, let's go out tonight." Kitty murmurs happily, not able to stop herself from looking at his lips. "Since we're not breaking up right now can I kiss you again?"

SAMMY

Sammy did a double take as she said the words. He was so happy for her. “What? You got the job?!” He asked ecstatically, a huge dopey grin reached his ears as he pulled her in for a tight hug, rocking her back and forth in her seat. He knew how much she wanted it and how hard she worked for it. “Holy shit, babe. That’s amazing. I’m so proud of you.” He pulled away slightly but not before kissing her deeply. “You can kiss me as many times as you want.” He grinned. “So, when do you start?”

KITTY

Kitty hadn't expected that reaction from Sammy -- she honestly hadn't expected that reaction from anyone considering the circumstances. She grins and wraps her arms around him tightly, allowing herself to be genuinely super happy about everything for the first time since she got the news. "I got the job." She repeats and laughs a little, finally feeling her body relax as he embraced her.  "Thanks, hot shot." She says with a soft smile before leaning into his lips -- beyond thankful she didn't have to give that up. "Good... The whole making out thing is most of the reason I have a boyfriend." She teases, before pulling away. "I start in a month... But I guess a week of that has already passed now... so three weeks?"

SAMMY

Sammy rolled his eyes at her comment but then raised his brow “So you’re moving to LA in less than a month? Girl, we have to look for places and areas, LA can be very sketchy.” He warned her.

KITTY

"I move to LA in less than a month..." She scrunches up her nose a little as she repeats the words, the girl hadn't really thought about how quick that sounded. "I sort of didn't think about the whole physical moving part to be honest. I was more worried about the job part. I haven't even started looking for places to live." She admits. "But I survived in my tiny shoe box apartment in a somewhat sketchy area in New York, I'm sure LA is going to be easy."

SAMMY

“Holy crap, Kitty. We need to look for places for you. I can help you. And I need to look for a place too, hopefully somewhere close to you...” he rambled as he pulled out his phone. “Well, yeah. But people are more homey here. LA is filled with mean people who don’t give a fuck about you.” He mentioned as he shot a text to his assistant.

KITTY

"Sammy..." She smiled, and rested her hand on his arm. "We have time... and you don't have to move." Granted after their last conversation it probably wouldn't be great for their relationship, but Kitty wasn't about to force anyone to move their life to a new state.  "Breathe. Nothing has to be sorted right now... I just got my boyfriend back, and you're probably the only person on the planet right now who can share my excitement. So can we go and celebrate or something? ... Now that we're definitely not breaking up?" She added, needing to make sure with certainty she wasn't about to let her walls down again to be heartbroken like an hour later.

SAMMY

Sammy had set his mind a while back when Kitty has first mentioned LA and it was somewhere he definitely wanted to be with Kitty. It also just made sense for his career in general and his agent and assistant would be thrilled for him to be in the city. More opportunities for him to work on. “Oh, I’m moving. What if you find a hotter Netflix star?” He joked. “I’m definitely gonna be around.” He grinned and kissed her cheek. “Okay, yes. We will look at this later, I have to go home and check on Dude before we do anything tonight. You coming?”

KITTY

"True... LA is crawling with hot Netflix stars. And I might actually have a shot with Luke if you're not standing in the way like you were at the Christmas party." She muses teasingly and smiles bashfully at the kiss on her cheek. There was no doubt in her mind, she already had the hottest one. Kitty perked up at the mention of seeing Dude, she hadn't seen him in days and that felt like a really really long time to her.  The two hadn't spent that long apart since Sammy and Kitty went to Florida. "Yes." She nods, trying not to show how enthusiastic she was about seeing the dog. "He's okay... Yeah?" She asks standing up from the chair. "Like, when you got him. He was ok?"

SAMMY

Sammy flares at Kitty. “That’s not funny, cause Luke actually asked me for your number a few days after that.” He bit his lip at the confession and looked away. “Anyway, yeah, he’s doing great. He was very excited to see me so I suppose that’s a good sign.” He smiled at Kitty as he stood with her. “Let’s go, okay? I’m sure Dude is going to be ecstatic to see you.”

KITTY

"Whoa whoa whoa." Kitty lowers her voice to try and jokingly resemble her boyfriend's. "Did you sabotage my chances with Luke? Again?" She feigns shock, looking up and scrunching her nose at Sammy. Not that she cared, it was Sammy she wanted... she just didn't want to admit that at the time. "That's good." She responds about Dude, feeling a pang of guilt when she thinks about him not being with either of them for a few days. The idea of ending a relationship with Sammy and losing Dude on the same day hurt way too much. She pushes open the door of the coffee shop, and feels the cold air brush her cheeks immediately. "I'm sorry I gave him back." She eventually gets the words to roll from her tongue, folding her arms in front of her chest. "How did you get here?"

SAMMY

Sammy looked away sheepishly as he bit his lips. “He wasn’t right for you.” Sammy mentioned as he made his way out the door with Kitty, searching for her hand and intertwining their fingers together. “It’s okay. We forgive you.” He smiled at the girl. “I walked. Needed to clear my head but it didn’t really work, I was really nervous about everything.” Sammy shrugged, bringing her hand back up to his lips. It was very comforting to him.

KITTY

"Worst. Wingman. Ever." She replies, sideeyeing Sammy. "Is this where you get really cheesy and tell me he couldn't have been right for me because you are?" Her fingers latch into his and the girl cant help the soft smile from dancing on her lips, thankful he wasnt holding it against her that she stopped looking after the dog -- God knows if the situation was reversed Kitty wouldn't be as forgiving. She wants to apologize and tell him it won't happen again, but she wasn't going to make a promise she couldn't keep. Because it didnt matter how many perfect words Sammy sang it was like Kitty was constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. "There's no polar blast, so we can walk, I guess." She comments, squeezing his hand gently. "Still nervous?"

SAMMY

Sammy shook his head and brushed off her comment with a small laugh. He knew he wasn’t perfect for Kitty but he also knew Luke definitely wasn’t either. He pressed soft kisses to her hand and walked idly along with her down the sidewalk. He definitely felt relieved but he was always nervous about Kitty, he didn’t know if he’d ever not be. And sometimes, most times, it was a good kind of nervous as it had become now. Sammy shrugged a little and leaned his head on hers. “You always make me nervous.” He sighed with a small smile.

KITTY

"Because I'm so unpredictably wild?" She asks with a short laugh. "Kidding... I know you're being sappy." Kitty nudges his side playfully. The two were so different, and maybe on paper they shouldn't work, but the thought of not being with him scared the blonde more than anything had in some time -- the past week showed her that. "So where are we going tonight? Because as much as I love Sassy Nights, it reminds me of my lost dreams of becoming a stripper."

SAMMY

“Yeah, honestly. You are unpredictable, but I love that about you.” He responded with a small nod as he brought their hands back down, he ended up wrapping his arm around her shoulder instead. “Okay, where would you like to go? I’m down for any hole in the wall bar.” He smiled.

KITTY

"You do?" She furrows her brows, knowing there's a part of him that's probably lying about that -- like, surely no one wants to constantly be guessing if they're girlfriend is going to push them away today. Kitty snakes her arm around his waist and leans her head contently on his chest. "A hole in the wall sounds great... anywhere you can avoid paparazzi and girls trying to steal you away all dang night." She muses, biting down on her lip gently -- she would fight anyone for Sammy, but she had only just got him back. Her lips curl into a smile when they get to Sammy's apartment building, it had been weeks since shed been here but the familiarity of the place was comforting. Plus, dude was inside!

SAMMY

“I think so, yeah. Like don’t get me wrong you frustrate me sometimes but it keeps me on my toes and I like that... idk maybe that’s the actor in me liking the roller coaster of emotions.” He shrugged with a nervous chuckle “I’m sure there will be girls trying to steal me away at any bar.” He teased and shoved her playfully as they reached his apartment. He greeted the doorman and they made their way up to the apartment. Upon entering they were immediately greeted by the cheerful puppy. Sammy crouched down to pick him. “Hey little dude, excited to see someone.” He chuckled and handed him off to Kitty after a few licks from the pup.

KITTY

Kitty nods slowly as he talks. "You are a very emotional person." She comments with a teasing smile. "No girls are allowed to steal you away tonight." She says with a serious look, her eyebrows furrowed. "You're mine, they can go and find someone whose girlfriend isnt prepared to set a killer dog on them. Maybe we should go to a gay bar..." she pauses as she remembers Sammy would probably be more interested in that. "Actually, no." Kitty grinned the second they entered the apartment and Dude showed up. She bites her lip a little nervously watching the two and feeling kinda guilty for giving him back. Sammy and dude were like... family. "Hey..." she takes him into her arms, her nose scrunching as he licks it. "Sorry, buddy." She says softly to him. "But hey, your dad's home." She smiles and looks at Sammy. "Yeah I know, im totally the fun one."

SAMMY

“No one could steal me away from you even if they tried. I’m yours babygirl.” He smiled back at her. “Alright, we’ll find a place.” He nodded. He made his way further into the apartment and sat down on his couch, looking up at Kitty. “C’mere.” He said reaching out for her.

KITTY

Not that she'd admit it -- because petnames were super cheesy -- but it still made kitty's heart race whenever he called her that. She rolls her eyes playfully and with the pup still in her arms she moves to where Sammy is sitting, straddling his waist before letting Dude off onto the couch. "I missed you." She murmurs quietly as she looks down and picks off the little dog hairs from his shirt one by one. "Hey.. are you still going to think I'm a good person when I'm writing about people... like, that you know?"

SAMMY

Sammy waited for the puppy to jump off to wrap his arms around the girl. “I’ve missed you, too. So much.” He told her with soft smile as he pressed kisses to her head. “I mean you’re not writing lies... I don’t see how writing the truth would make you a bad person.” He replied honestly.

KITTY

The faint look of worry on her face changes with Sammy's words. Why couldn't everyone see it as he did? "You're awfully open minded for an actor who's sort-of-sexy face is all over our site." Our site -- it felt way more real now that Sammy knew. She looks up to meet his eyes before leaning in to kiss him, smiling against his lips as the taste off coffee still lingers. "Thank you though." She says quietly as she pulls away. "So I guess now I'm moving to LA in three weeks, we're not going to Mexico?" She asks, her fingers twirling into hair as she speaks.

SAMMY

Sammy shrugged. He had always been pretty open minded about most things. “Sort of sexy?” He raised a brow at her but melted into her kiss. “Mexico?” He asked, forgetting for a moment about what they had talked about. “Oh, right, sorry. My brain is all jumbled. We can still go to Mexico. It would be nice to take a little vacation just the two of us.” He smiled at the girl and squeezed his arms tightly around her.

KITTY

"You forgot?" Kitty shakes her head. "What is it you think about when you're away anyway? Because when Dude and I aren't having elaborate coffee dates, I'm thinking about you... On a beach...wearing very little clothing." She smirks, as she presses soft loving kisses along his jaw. "But I guess we can also do that in LA now come summer, so I'll forgive you for forgetting our incredibly briefly discussed vacation." To be fair their conversation had been a little about mexico and a lot about threesomes. "Is there anything I can do to help with the whole jumbled brain thing?" She asks genuinely. Normally that comment wouldn't get a second thought from Kitty, but it was Sammy, and Sammy seemed to always be an exception.

SAMMY

“Mostly scripts I have to learn and publicity shit.” He replied honestly. “And I think about missing you and being here with you...” he smiled at her and tilted his head as she pressed kisses to his skin. “I mean, we can still go. I can get things set up so we can go before LA, unless you want to wait until after we move in.” Sammy told her and looked down at her with a genuine smile. “It’s getting better. But I think I’m just tired from all the work I did this month. But thank you for offering.” He told her and kissed her cheek.

KITTY

"I'm not gonna have a whole lot of time when I get to LA... I'm not as charming as you, and it's really important to me to not to mess anything up, you know? I need this job to go well." She says with half a shrug. "We can go to Mexico, but it's not the end of the world if we dont, babe... It was a passing conversation." Kitty nods at his answer, "Do you want to take a nap or... something? I can take Dude to the park or go back to Louis' for a bit. And we can always just go out tomorrow night... give you time to relax or whatever it is B list celebs do when they finish filming movies."

SAMMY

“I totally get that.” He nodded and rubbed her back. “We will do whatever you want to do. I’m in no rush.” He responded. He pouted playfully because he was thinking of a nap but he didn’t want kitty to leave. “You know me. But I don’t want you to go. I want you to be my body pillow.” He said as he squeezed around her and buried his face in her neck. “You’re comfy.” He mumbled against her skin.

KITTY

"There's always after graduation." Between working and college, Kitty's not even sure how she'll have time to see Sammy let alone go out of the country -- though there are worse places to be confined to than L.A. She laughs a little at Sammy's pout, rolling her eyes. "Fiine" She grumbles jokingly, and pulls herself up from the boy's lap before extending him her hand to take. "I'll stay. C'mon.... Let's go take a nap, sleepy head."

SAMMY

Sammy grinned. “I love you so much.” He chuckled as he took her hand and followed her back to his bedroom. “Just like an hour nap then we can get ready to go out, promise.” He told her as he jumped into his bed.

KITTY

"Yeah yeah, I've heard that before." She laughs softly, watching as the puppy follows Sammy's lead in jumping onto the bed. "It's like having two of you home." She teases, following them both and crawling up next to the scruffy haired brunette. "I love you." Kitty strokes his cheek lightly before leaning in to kiss his forehead. "Just in case I haven't told you in a while." And she hadn't... Not since before she snapped at him. Dude curled up between their legs and Kitty let's her boyfriend's head rest on her chest. "I'm glad you're home." She says simply as her fingers stroke through his hair. "Now go to sleep so we can do something not boring."

SAMMY

Sammy yawned briefly before cuddling into Kitty’s side. “I’m glad I’m home, too.” He smiled and soon drifted to sleep, only to awake about 45 minutes later feeling a lot better and refreshed. He stretched himself out in bed and looked to his side to see if Kitty had stuck around.

KITTY

Kitty didnt have the 'sleep anywhere' skill Sammy had -- she sort of envied the way he was able to just fall asleep at any time. She had put on the television, quietly watching it with Dude as her boyfriends head rested on her. "Hey. Welcome back." She joked when  she realized he was awake. "Feel any better?"

SAMMY

Sammy smiled up at Kitty with squinting eyes and nodded as he continued to stretch. “Mhmm. Lot better.” He murmured and went up to kiss Kitty on the cheek. He sat up and pet Dude before turning back to look at Kitty again. “Imma go ahead and take a shower. Do you want to join?” He asked with a raised brow.

KITTY

"Good idea... you smell like... a boy." Kitty scrunches her nose teasingly before nodding, "I should probably check the water pressure." She replies with a half smile. "Since you know, its been a while since I've been here." The girl gets up from the bed, stretching slightly as though she had just been asleep -- it was kind of exhausting doing nothing. "Come on, hot shot. Before you decide you need to sleep again."

SAMMY

Sammy laughed and and got off the bed, following her to the bathroom. His arms wrapped around her waist from behind as he kissed her shoulder. “I’ve miss you so so much.” He gave her a tight hug before he pulled away to remove his shirt and pants. Then he walked over to turn the water on, making sure it was at the right temperature before turning back to Kitty. “Ladies first.” He grinned

KITTY

"Oh my gosh." She laughs at the arms suddenly embracing her tightly from behind. "I missed you too, weirdo." Kitty turns to him as he pulls away, her smile widening a little when his clothes come off -- she couldn't help it. "You're still a little good looking I see." She smirks and takes her own clothes off, not really caring about them falling to the ground messily. "That's very gentlemanly of you... also very 1950s." She steps into the warm water, and holds out her hand for Sammy and pulls him in with her. "Much better."

SAMMY

Sammy winked at her and joined her under the water. He lets the hot water collide against his back for a moment, letting out a soft groan of pleasure before he pulls Kitty under the stream with him. “How’s the water pressure?” He asked

KITTY

Kitty presses her lips together and hums softly at the question, letting the water wet her hair and warm the rest of her body. "I give it an eight out of ten." She says with a simple nod, letting her hands glide  gently down Sammy's side idly as she talked. "The company is... slightly above average."

SAMMY

“Slightly above average, huh?” He raised a brow. “And what could said company do to make it better?” He asked with a bite to his lip as he admires the girl’s body, glistening under the water.

KITTY

Kitty shrugs. "The company should come closer." She muses, her fingers lingering on his abs as she lifts her eyes to meet his. "And then the company should probably stop talking and start kissing me... sort of like kissing in the rain, but we're less likely to catch pneumonia which makes it way more romantic."

SAMMY

Sammy bit his lip as she spoke. His hands wandered to her waist and pulled her in close, her front touching his. He leaned down, his lips ghosted over hers and he nipped at them gently before he kissed her deeply.

KITTY

Her eyes followed Sammy's movements, and she couldn't stop her heart from speeding up when his body became flush with hers. Her arms reach up to wrap around his shoulders, her fingers twirl into the back of his wet hair, and she happily let's herself melt in the feeling of his lips meeting hers. This was everything she didnt expect when she got out of bed this morning sure they were about to break up. Lost in the kiss, Kitty loses her balance for a second, stumbling on her own feet and falling back into the wall of the shower, pulling Sammy with her. "Sorry." She murmurs against him, a half smirk lighting her lips. "But I'm pleased to report the company has improved their score." She chews on her bottom lip and untangles her body from her boyfriend, pushing him back into the water stream playfully. "You're meant to be cleaning yourself." She says,  grabbing the body wash and throwing it at him. "You should really stop getting so distracted, babe."

SAMMY

Sammy yelped a bit and caught himself with one hand against the wall, laughing over the short girl. “It’s okay. You’re cute, so you get a pass.” He grins and raises a brow. “Ah, really?  What’s the score now?” He asked as he was pushed back into the water. He caught the bottle and nodded. “Alright, Alright.” He said pouring some on his hand and handing it back to her. “Get my back?” He asked as he turned away from her and soaped himself down.

KTTY

"Company gets an eight out of ten." Anything higher would give the male way too much of an ego. She laughs softly and takes the bottle back from Sammy. "How did you even survive without me in LA for a month?" Kitty teases, pouring a small amount on her hands and rubbing her hands down his -- surprisingly toned -- back. "You know, I don't think I've ever seen you go to the gym and yet... You look like this." She shakes her head and uses the remaining soap on her own body, though she had showered earlier that day. "It's a miracle."

SAMMY

“Only an eight?” He questioned and laughed. “It was hard, had to get one of those scrubby things on a stick.” He grinned . Sammy actually went to the gym all the time, he enjoyed being active just as much as he liked settling down. “I go regularly, actually. Have a trainer and everything. This body is far from a miracle.” He chuckled softly as he finished washing his body.

KITTY

"What a hassle." She chuckled slightly, rinsing the soap from her hands and her body. Kitty raised her eyebrows, "You do?" She looked up at Sammy curiously, and leaned her side against the wall. "I mean... of course you do." He was an actor, he'd be stupid not to. But sometimes it became super obvious to her how little time they've actually spent together since getting into a relationship. "Is your trainer hot?"

SAMMY

“Exactly.” He agreed with a smile,  “Yeah, at least a few times a week.” He shrugged and turned to look at Kitty. He rinsed off and got closer to the girl. “Eh, I mean I guess.” He answered, not really finding his trainer attractive but wanting to be nice about it.

KITTY

"It's like I know nothing about you." She muses only half joking, her lips pressing together a little. "What other totally boring secrets are you keeping from me?" Kitty asks with a faint smile, her hand gliding over his chest as she moves past him and out of the shower. "You guess? So you dont know if they're hot... or you dont know if you want to tell me if they're hot?" She asks, avoiding eye contact as she reaches for a towel -- trying so hard not to sound like a jealous girlfriend.

SAMMY

“You know I’ll tell you anything you want to know. This just never came up.” He leans in to peck her lips before she escapes from him. “Secrets? You know all my secrets.” He muttered. He shook his head. “No, I mean he’s hot, conventionally. But I don’t really find him attractive.” He shrugged. “He’s also like 15 years older than me.” He chuckled.

KITTY

"Please, you have no secrets." Kitty rolls her eyes, and uses the towel to dry herself before wrapping it around her and hooking it under her arms. "You're like... the most squeaky clean person I've ever met." She folds her arms in front of her and leans lazily against the wall, her wet hair still dripping down her back. "In fact it would almost make sense for you to be harboring a massive secret crush on your maybe-hot, mysterious, older personal trainer." She looks up at the tall brunette with a faint smile.

SAMMY

Sammy chuckled softly and shrugged at her words as he exited the shower after her, turning the water off. He walks up to her and presses her up against the wall with a raised brow. “Are you jealous?” He asked and leaned into kiss her temple. “You’re the only one I’m interested in. As cheesy as that sounds. I don’t want anyone else...”

KITTY

Kitty huffs quietly, "I don't get jealous." She lies, her eyes lifting to his lips pressing against her head. "Okay. Fine... maybe a little. Dont make a thing of it." She pouts a little and reaches for his waist, ignoring the fact hes just wetting her towel more and pulls him closer. "It's cheesy... and I still want to see shirtless pics of this personal trainer of yours. I need to see all competition."

SAMMY

Sammy tilts his head and raises his brows again. “Oh, really?” He chuckled as she admitted her jealousy “You’re fucking cute.” He grinned into her hair. “I’m not sure I have any shirtless pics of him but I’ll link you to his Instagram.” He compromised with her. “Maybe you can come train with us sometime.” He smiled at her.

KITTY

Kitty scrunches her nose, "I think I'll just stalk his insta. I don't really do gyms... There's only so long I can watch ego-driven men stand in front of a mirror flexing and being all like, 'do you even lift?'" She lowers her voice to try and imitate a dude's, shaking her head. "I'll stick to kick boxing and yoga." She leans in and kisses his chest softly before pushing him off her with one hand and passing him a towel. "Besides, I don't wanna invade your secret life." She teases.

SAMMY

Sammy threw his head back in laughter at her impression. “Seriously the cutest... we should do yoga sometime. Like couples yoga.” He mentioned as he took the towel from her, drying himself off. “Psh, you’re my girl. You get to know everything.” He smiled genuinely at her as he nodded towards the room where he was heading to. He looked through his closet, pulling on some boxers as he decided what to wear. “How casual are we going?”

KITTY

Kitty hushed him, "Not cute, thankyouverymuch." She raised a brow at his mention of doing yoga together. Kitty had started yoga at the beginning of college -- something her roommate of two minutes suggested to help her "chill", the blonde went to prove a point and as much as she wanted to hate it, she just never stopped. "You... Samuel Hummel -- the sleepiest boy in the world -- wants to go to yoga?" She chuckles, and takes a seat on his bed. "Well, I have like, four, changes of clothes here so... We can go super casual, I'm talking sweatpants and a hoodie, which I think belongs to you anyway. We can do normal casual, or we can do slightly above casual." She lists off. "Or sexy and slutty. But that's probably more of a for-your-eyes-only outfit."

SAMMY

Sammy turned back to give her a quick kiss before returning to his closet to pull out some skinny joggers and a slightly oversized hoodie. “Normal casual? Sound good to you?” He asked the girl as he turned back to her and  began pulling his pants on. “Although, sexy and slutty sounds tempting.” He teased.

KITTY

Kitty nods. "Normal casual works."  She finally gets up from the bed and moves over to the bag of clothes, grazing the back of Sammy's jeans  lightly with her fingers as she walks past. The bag is more like a heaped pile of her random belongings at this point -- and one of Dude's toy which the pup has deemed to now belong to her. She sort of just moves things around until she puts her hands on a skirt and a sweater, shrugging to herself that it would do. "The sexy and slutty isn't totally off the table." She winks as the towel drops to the ground and she starts to get herself changed.

SAMMY

Sammy grinned at her touch and watched as she leaned over to dig through her bag. He tossed his hoodie on and sat at the edge of the bed. “Unfortunately I don’t have a pair of booty shorts that go with this hoodie. He teased with a chuckle. “You know... I can clear up a drawer for you to put your stuff in while you’re here if you want... just so you don’t have to have it all in the bag.” He offered

KITTY

"That's so disappointing." She jokes, turning to face Sammy with a smirk. "It's okay." Kitty shrugs at the suggestion of the draw. "I'm sort of a pro at living out of bags at this point, and even if I wasn't I'm moving soon so it's not like i'll spend a lot of time here." She smiled thankfully at him. "That's just creating way more work for yourself." She slides the sweater in over her head and flicks her hair so it's sitting on the outside. "Besides, where is Dude going to take all the toys he wants to give me when I'm not around if this bag is gone?" She leans over picking up a small soft toy and throwing it at Sammy. "I just need to dry my hair, and make myself even hotter than I already am." Kitty muses, kissing Sammy's cheek quickly as she moved past him and into the bathroom.

SAMMY

Sammy shrugged. ��I don’t mind the work.” He told her. Even if she said no, he still planned on clearing some space for her, for the short time being. He chuckled at the girl as he dodges the toy. “That’s impossible. You’re the hottest already.” He grinned .

KITTY

later that night 

Kitty stumbled back into Sammy’s apartment, reaching out to grab his shoulder to steady herself as she took off her shoes. Finally.  “I’m hungry. “ She mumbled, not really thinking about what she was saying. Somewhere between the wine and tequila, Kitty had lost track of her words. The alcohol not only warmed her body enough to forget about the fact that it was freezing outside and she probably didn’t have enough clothes on, but also helped her forget about the paparazzi and fans wanting to climb up on her boyfriend. She had clung to the tall brunette all night, not caring who was around to see and paying zero attention to anyone else trying to steal away Sammy. “Duuuudeee.” She calls out to the puppy, grinning when he emerged from the bedroom. “Hey!” She picks up the growing pup into her arms and pats his head before looking back up at Sammy. “I feel bad we left him and brought him nothing back... You should see if they uber dog treats. Or puppy wine.”

SAMMY

Sammy stumbled in behind her with a smile. “I’ll order the ‘Za!” He yelled across the room as he booked it to the kitchen to look for the number of the 24hour pizza place. He peeked out of the kitchen and chuckled “I think that’s possible?” He asked confused, disappearing back into the kitchen and emerging with the paper with the phone number, his phone in the other hand, dialing.

KITTY

"You know there are apps for that, right?" Kitty smirks, letting Dude down from her arms and tugging at her boyfriend's shirt so he would follow her to the living room. "You know, I kinda like New York." She muses, sitting down on the couch and folding her legs off to the side of her. "Because it's where I met you." Kitty reaches out for Sammy to sit next to her, not bothered by how cliche the words that just came out of her mouth were. "My life would sort of suck without you." She furrowed her eyebrows for a second. "Well that's not entirely true, but, like, it wouldn't be the same. And I wouldn't be getting pizza soon.  Which is a massive bonus." She laughs happily, pressing  kiss to Sammy's cheek.

SAMMY

“Uh, yeah but this is the best pizza.” He replied as he followed her to the couch, still on the phone. He waited for them to answer and smiled at the girl making the gushy comments. “I love you.” He whispered before the person on the other line answered. “Uh, yeah, can I get a..... meat lovers with extra cheese... large. And umm... cheese sticks with marinara. Ooh also you guys have spaghetti? Mhm. Yeah an order of that...” he proceeded and gave them the address. After hanging up he turned his attention back to Kitty and rushed his lips to the exposed skin on her neck. “Pizza will be here in 25 minutes.” He whispered.

KITTY

"You got spaghetti? Who orders spaghetti with pizza, you weirdo." Kitty chuckles, grinning at the feeling of electricity spreading around the spot on her neck with the impact of his lips. "I love you so much." She murmurs and turns her body slightly to face Sammy on the couch. "Thank you for coming out tonight." Her fingers trace shapes idly on his thighs, and she can't stop herself from smiling tonight. "But we should just stay here for the rest of our lives... in this apartment. We're cooler than everyone else anyway."

SAMMY

Sammy frowned. “I like spaghetti.” He pecked her lips and smiled again. He pulled her closer, bringing her on his lap. “Thank you for being awesome.” He chuckled. “We should move in together, in LA. It would be so cool. I would get to see you every single day... I would love that.” He sighed and leaned in for another kiss.

KITTY

"Like... living together together." Kitty says the words out loud, nodding as she thought it through for all of about a second.  She wraps her arms around his shoulders. "Are you serious?"  She asks, a smile lighting her lips. "Because I'll totally live with you. It means I get to see you everyday, and I reeally like seeing you. Like... everything is better when I see you. So." She shrugs. "We should live together."

SAMMY

“Together, together.” He nodded “it’ll be you and me and Dude and we can even get an apartment with two rooms so Marley can come visit or whoever... it’ll be so great.” He mused with a big cheesy smile. Just the thought of living with the woman he loved made him so happy. “I wanna be with you forever and ever.”

KITTY

"It has to have two rooms." She says adamantly. "Because I love you, like... more than I love coffee, and pizza, and tmz, and trashy reality television combined. But I like Marley more." She teases, rubbing her nose lightly against his. "And I can't be anywhere without a bed for her." Kitty grins at his next words -- it was probably the alcohol (it was definitely the alcohol), but right now planning forever with this man didn't seem like the scariest thing in the world. In fact not spending forever with him scared her a lot more. "Forever's a really long time, babe. You don't think you'll get bored?"

SAMMY

Sammy nodded along with what Kitty said “Of course.” He agreed with her. And he didn’t mind it one bit. He loved that Kitty had someone who was there for her besides himself. He almost envied their friendship but in the best way. He leaned into her and kisses her again. “Me? Get bored of you? I could never ever ever. You’re everything.”

KITTY

Kitty leans into his kiss like it was the easiest thing her lips have ever done, not able to stop herself from giggling softly against them. All she wanted to do was be close to Sammy right now, she wanted to kiss him and be in his arms and never leave.  Maybe it was too soon to move in, and maybe in the morning she'd get cold feet, but right now she was being honest with herself. And honestly? There wasn't a night she went to bed and didn't wish he and Dude were with her. "You're perfect." She whispers, her fingers twirling into his perfectly messy hair. "And sexy, and smart, and sweet, and stupidly funny." She smiles, blissfully happy. "And we can spend forever together making everyone insanely jealous of us." She purses her lips together, suddenly remembering her non existent domestic skills. "But I can't cook, babe."

SAMMY

Sammy blushed at her comments. It was rare when Kitty complimented him like that and it was nice. He liked it a lot more than he’d care to admit. He leaned his head against hers bashfully, hiding the redness in his cheeks. “You’re too good to me.” He told her and pressed his lips to her neck once again. “Forever.” he repeated and nodded “that’s okay. We can order pizza and eat cereal and sandwiches and drink coffee.” He assures her.

KITTY

Kitty laughs, "I'm really not, baby." Even drunk, she knew Sammy probably deserved someone who was a lot more... like him. Everything about them was her opposite, down to and including the way they communicated. "But I'm adorable so it makes up for it." She says grinning and leaning in to press small kisses along his jaw line and down the crook of his neck. "Good. Because you're mine." She murmurs against his skin with a smile. "I'm keeping you. And I'll fight alllll the bitches." She jokes (kinda) as she pulls away from him. "Foooood." The blonde grumbles, remembering at the topic of food that once upon a time a million years ago they ordered pizza. "I'm hungry... And I want to fuck you. But super hungry."

SAMMY

“You are even if you won’t admit it.” He nuzzled into her face. “All of them?” He asked with a chuckle. He was about to answer her about the food when he heard the knock at his door. “It’s here!!!” He yelled out and pushed Kitty down on the couch, hovering over her briefly and pressing a kiss to her lips before getting up and pulling his wallet out of his pocket, stumbling just a tad as he reached the door. He paid the man at the door, leaving him a big tip and returned to kitty, balancing the boxes in his arms. He placed everything down on the coffee table and smiled at the girl. “Let’s feast.”

KITTY

Kitty mouth opened excitedly when she heard the knock on the door, "Finally!" She grins, a small shriek leaving her lips as she's pushed back onto the couch.  "Don't be long." She breathes against his lips before Sammy disappears to get the food. She finds herself looking up at the ceiling for a moment, listening with a smile to the small polite conversation Sammy was having with the delivery man. He was so nice. Too nice. How did someone so nice end up with her?  "You're my knight with shining pizza." Kitty muses, sitting up and watching the world wobble for a second as she did. The food smelt amazing and God, she needed it so badly -- all her stomach could feel right now were the tequila shots she'd taken before deciding to come home.  "Is pizza good for dogs?" She asks, opening up the box and pulling out a slice of pizza, glancing over at their puppy.

SAMMY

Sammy tilted his head to the side in thought about the pizza and looked over at the dog. “I think it might upset his tummy if we give him pizza.” Sammy said as he took a bite of the slice with a moan. He then put the slice down moving on to the container with the spaghetti and grabbed the plastic fork digging in.

KITTY

Kitty pouts and mouths to Dude that she's sorry. "We're bad dog parents... and not just because we called him dude." She slides down off the couch and onto the floor -- not entirely intentionally, but at least this way she was closer to the food. "Do you remember when we first got pizza? After you lured me into your apartment with the promise of a blanket fort." She laughs at the memory of the sad stack pile of pillows on the floor. "Also our first time." She leans her head back against the couch and looks to Sammy with a loving smile. "You have no idea how much I love you... also you have sauce on your face."

SAMMY

Sammy shook his head “Youre a better dog mom than me.” He pouted. “We should give dude a middle name.” He watches the girl slide down the couch on to the floor with a smile and nods. “It was the best I could do. I think it was pretty good.” He said confidently with a cheesy grin. Sammy leans down and kisses the girl and then rubs his face on hers, smearing the sauce on her face too. “I love you more. Now you have sauce on your face.”

KITTY

"Well obviously. You're a dog dad." She teases, raising an eyebrow at Sammy. "We should totally give him a middle name!" Kitty says probably over-enthusiastically. "It has to be something strong. Just incase he becomes doggy president or something and we need the other dogs to take him seriously." The girl was slightly over protective of Dude, but she really never imagined shed love a dog so damm much. "Oh my God." She laughs loudly, scrunching her nose and pulling on Sammy's shirt to pull him back down to her lips. "You're very annoying." She chuckles, leaning up to nibble on his lower lip lightly.

[bullet-proofgirlscouts]

JiminXReader - In One Week, Part - 8

Part 1; Part 2; Part 3; Part 4; Part 5; Part 6; Part 7;

“So Jimin isn’t in love with you?”

“Mhmm.”

“But he’s in love with the person who created your podcast?”

“Mmhmm…”

“Which is you.”

“Mmm…”

“And you- I’m sorry can you please speak in words?” Yoongi snapped, annoyed that his friend was stuffing her face with ice cream.

“Mmm?” she frowned, not appreciating his outburst. Swallowing the mouthful of cold, chocolatey goodness, she licked her lips before focusing back on Yoongi

“Why is this a problem?” Yoongi asked.

“Because…it just doesn’t seem fair.” She replied, twirling her spoon in the ice cream bowl.

She had called him at night, asking him if he was free and if she could talk to him. She didn't want him to go through the trouble of talking face-to-face and was more than content with talking to him over the phone, but he refused. He could tell by the tone of her voice that she was upset about something and nothing in the world could stop him from being by her side. So, he picked her up from her door and took her to a small café (promising Grandpa that he would bring her back in an hour and bring ice cream back for him too) that was situated quite remotely, only a handful of people came by and they sat at a table in the corner, ordering sundaes.

“I can’t just be like, ‘hey! Remember you told me you’re in love with this podcast lady? Guess what? That’s me! The girl you rejected. Now let’s make out’”

Yoongi tried not to chuckle at how she said the whole sentence without taking a single breath. But now was not the time.

“…You should have seen the way he talked about it. Like the creator was the most amazing person alive, like she’s the living embodiment of perfection and should be showered with praise for the rest of her life.”

“And that’s a bad thing, because…?”

“Because it didn’t seem like he was talking about me! It was like the creator is a different person all together. He doesnt...he doesnt love me, he in love with this...” she paused for a second before saying, “idea of me that he’s created in his head, one that is amazing. I can’t compete with that”

“So basically, you feel like you can’t tell him you are the creator because he might be disappointed?”

She nodded slowly, her eyes looking down, focusing on the ice cream.

“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve heard.” Yoongi said. He felt a bit guilty when he saw her flinch a bit but he held his own.

Sure, he was a bit biased. In his eyes, she’s the most amazing person he knew, flaws and all. The two of them grew up together, Yoongi has watched as she grew into this amazing human being. He adored her as much as she did him, even though he’s never actually told her that. Yoongi felt a need to be protective of her and she understood that his harsh words were his way of doing so. She was his baby sister, his best friend and he couldn't be prouder of her. She wasn't spectacular in any way, but she was to him, and from the way he saw Jimin look at her, the orange haired kid felt the same way and it infuriated him that she couldn't see that.

So, yes, he was just a little bit biased.

“Is it?” she asked, softly, “Is it that far fetched of an idea?”

Continuing, she said, “I would rather him be in love with this image of me. Even if i’m not what he’s looking for… the creator is still me.”

“So you’re settling for that?”

“For now? Yeah. Maybe i’ll get over it when the time comes, maybe Jimin will stop pining after this ‘anonymous’ person cause i’m never telling him,” she ignored Yoongi’s glare as she continued, “I liked the way things were. It’s probably going to be awkward with him now, knowing that i have a crush on him, but i don't want him finding out the truth and that making things worse!”

“Why?” Yoongi pressed, “What’s the worst that could possibly happen? Jimin is a nice guy, isn't he? You really think he’s the type of person to abandon you or stop being friends with you if you tell him?”

“No! Of course not!”

“Then why-”

“I don't know!” she snapped, causing many people to turn in their direction. Her face turned red as she hunched her shoulders, muttering an apology. It took a few minutes for things to calm down and for everyone’s attention to be off of them.

“...it just doesn't seem fair.” she said softly, pushing her ice cream towards Yoongi, asking him to finish it for her, “I can't tell him that i’m the person he’s in love with when he already rejected me. I know you think that i’m downplaying myself here, but it’s not that, at least, not just that. Jimin isn’t in love with me, plain and simple, and me telling him that i’m the creator shouldn't change that, it wouldn't be genuine if it does. So why bother wasting my time and everyone's emotion for something that won't make things better? ”

Yoongi sighed, understanding her logic but hating it.

She chuckled, knowing what he was thinking. “I dont like it either,” she said, “But that’s just how it is.”

~~~

Monday rolled in and she didn’t show up to class today. Turns out she didn’t show up to university at all. He considered calling her but decided against it. Maybe he was thinking too highly of himself, which he hated, but the last conversation they had together was of him rejecting her. Maybe she needed some space.

So he didn’t contact her on Monday. It was a boring day.

He didn’t call her on Tuesday either. He realized how dull and uninteresting the group he hung out with really were. Conversations consisted only of gossip and plans to go shopping. He couldn’t crack even one genuine laugh when before, his stomach used to hurt from it.

Wednesday, he started getting concerned. He sent her a text, asking her why she was missing classes and if she was ok. She didn’t see the message that day.

Thursday, again, she didn’t show up. Jimin called her but he was directed to a message that said that her number didn't exist. He was worried and confused. Was it because of him? Did he break her heart more than he had thought to the point where she didn’t feel like they could be friends anymore? Or maybe she was just sick and everything was going to be ok. But if she was just sick why couldn’t she have replied to his messages? Why were his calls not going through? Was this really his fault?

Jimin hardly said a word the next day. Without realizing it, he spent all his time sulking and moping. His friends realized it though, especially Jihyo who grew more and more annoyed as Jimin’s mind seemed to move farther and farther away from reality. From her. She had a feeling she knew why he was the way he was. Deciding to break the somber mood she was determined to lighten Jimin’s spirit during break time.

Everyone was sitting at the cafeteria, munching on food. Jihyo kept her eyes on Jimin and to her annoyance, he still seemed down to the dumps.

“So Jimin,” she said, leaning forward on the table, making sure to push her chest together. Every time she used to do that the boy blushed and looked away, trying his best not to stare, and she found it adorable.

But this time he hardly glanced her way. He acknowledged her question with a simply grunt, but his eyes were glued to his phone. But he wasn’t really doing anything, just staring at it, like he was waiting for something to happen.

She quickly wiped the second of shock on her face as she processed that Jimin just out-right ignored her, but she carried on.

“I heard you got the highest store in your literature class for that project of yours. Congratulations!”

That seemed to have brought Jimin slightly out of his secluded state. “Thanks,” he said, with a smile, “It was mostly because of my partner that we got a good score.”

“Oh don’t be modest,” Jihyo said, “I’m sure you contributed way more than she did. I’m surprised you even stuck with her through the whole thing. If it was me I would have demanded to change partners immediately.” She started laughing along with her other friends but when she glanced at Jimin, her laugh got stuck in her throat.

He was glaring at her with a look she had never seen before, anger. However, that rage withered away as soon as she saw it, making her wonder if it happened at all.

She cleared her throat, “I haven't seen you two hanging out anymore, did you take my advice?”

“I did, but that’s not why we’re not hanging out.” Jimin replied, still focused on his phone.

“Really? Because if you rejected her-”

“I don't want to talk about it.” Jimin interrupted, “Ok, i’m just a bit worried because she isn't answering my calls or my texts.”

“Look, if it makes you feel any better, she’s fine. Someone saw her hanging out with a boy last Friday.”

“What?”

Last Friday? That was the day Jimin last saw her and he...rejected her.

“Don’t you have a picture?” Jihyo asked one of the girls beside her.

“Uh, yeah, here you go.”

Her phone was handed over to Jimin, a picture on the screen.

Jimin looked at it and saw her. It was a small café, and she was sitting across a boy with mint colored hair. Yoongi.

“Why do you even have this picture?” Jimin asked, staring at it.

“One of the people from uni saw her. Guess they were just as surprised as we are over the fact that she has guy friend. Or just friends in general.” Jihyo spat out.

“Maybe it's her boyfriend!” someone said.

“Ew. Why would anyone date her? Especially a boy as cute as that?” another one replied.

“You think he’s cute? He looks really scary to me. No, not scary, another word…”

“He looks like a homeless person. Or like a leader of a gang.”

“Intimidating! That’s the word.”

“He looks a lot older than she is…. oh my god guys, do you think that’s her sugar daddy?” Jihyo said.

“No way! You think she would have a sugar daddy?”

“It makes sense, doesn’t it? A guy like him wouldn’t hang out with a girl like that unless it's…’beneficial’”

“Ugh, that’s disgusting! What a whore!”

“Never thought she would be so desperate for sex. How pathetic can you get?”

“Wonder how much money she makes. Eww, I wonder if she has any STD’s!”

“Probably does. She-“

BAM

The whole room was silent. Not a single sound was made as every student started at the source of the noise.

Jimin was panting, his face flushed in rage as his hands stung with the pain of smashing them against the table.

He glared at Jihyo and the other people sitting at the table, each of them shriveling away in fear.

Ignoring all the stares that were focused on him, he got off his chair, grabbed his bag and stormed out of the room.

Walking down the hallway, he realized his body was taking him outside the university. He knew where he wanted to go.

He wanted to see her, to talk to her, to work things out.

He knew what he wanted to say. Being in that room, trying his best not to scream at the people who were berating her for no reason made him realize something. Something he was to stupid and too ignorant to understand just few days ago.

He wanted to protect her, to hold her, to assure her that everything was going to be ok, to convince her that she was the most amazing person he’d met, to one day break down those insecurities and make her understand what an incredible person she is. He wanted to spend the night talking to her about the most random things, from books to movies to what their favorite shade or orange is. He wanted to wake up and see her sleeping face every morning.

He wanted her to see herself the way he saw her,

With love.

Jimin was in love.

And he was going to make sure she knew it.

~~~

Jimin panted as he finally reached the block where her house was, taking a minute to catch his breath. He was gross and sweaty, not a good impression. Maybe he should have thought the ‘running to her house’ part through. Whatever, he was here. Rounding a corner, he jogged happily to her front door and immediately rang the bell. He was bouncing on his toes, the adrenaline keeping him jittery. He was so nervous, and excited and scared, but mostly excited.

What was he going to say? What would she say? What if her Grandfather opens the door?

Jimin didn't even realise that a good few minutes had passed, and nobody was opening the door. Eyebrows furrowed, he rang it three more times, still nothing. His energy left him as fast as it arrived. This was embarrassing. Nobody was home. Worry started to overtake him, his mind racing as to where she could be. Unfortunately, all he could do was wait for her to come back. Maybe in an hour, he could come back to her place and see if she was home.

Letting out a loud sigh, his jittering finished, he walked away from the door. The sky was dark and ominous, made him wish he got an umbrella. He was just about to walk down the road, when a black car pulled up beside him.

He peered through the front glass, catching a glimpse of Yoongi who was in the driver's seat, the mint haired man staring back at him. His attention, however, was diverted by the guy in the passenger's seat, who opened his door and got out.

“Taehyung.” Jimin looked the man up and down. He was wearing a suit, with a crisp white shirt and black tie. Come to think of it, Yoongi was wearing one too, minus the tie.

The brown-haired man looked back at him, confusion etched on his face. “Jimin? Why are you here?”

“I wanted to talk to…why are you here?”

“She left her wallet behind, I came to get it for her.” he said as he closed the door. He walked up to Jimin, keys in hand.

Ignoring the slight pang of jealousy Jimin felt over the fact that Taehyung had the keys to her house, he asked,

“Where is she anyways? There’s something I have to tell her.”

He grimaced in response,  “Well, it will have to wait. You know how busy she is, now with everything that happened.”

Jimin furrowed his eyebrows, “What do you mean?”

Taehyung froze, “She didn’t tell you?”

“Tell me what? What’s going on?” Jimin asked, getting a bit scared, is she ok? Was she hurt? Or sick? Is that why she didn’t come to university for a whole week?

He paused for a second, looking around hesitantly.

“Taehyung,” Jimin called out desperately, “Is she ok?”

“Of course, she’s not ok Jimin.” he replied, his voice soft and pained, “Her grandfather passed away.”

~~~

[donnarider]

!!DISCONTINUED!!  Klance - soulmate au (part 4)

Author’s notes:

update 12th July 2019: This story is unfortunately discontinued. There will not be a next part. I’m really sorry.

Read part 1

Read part 2

Read part 3

“Bold” texts are from Keith, “italic” texts are from Lance

„Wow, that’s… rough?“

„Yes it is! I mean… I meant what I said. I just thought he would...”

“Say that he wants to be more than friends?”

“Yeah…” Lance put his head on the table they were studying at. The library was quiet and Lance had a hard time keeping his voice down while telling Hunk about his horrible not-date date.

“So how did the rest of the da…what happened after that?”

“Well, I was dying on the inside and pretended everything was fine on the outside. So, the usual.”

“Lance!”

Lance sighed and leaned back on his chair. The library’s ceiling suddenly seemed very fascinating to him. “We talked about stuff like favourite movies and such. I asked him about his bike. I had to leave for my seminar and he said he’d text me.”

“Well that doesn’t sound too bad,” Hunk decided and squeezed Lance’s shoulder supportively. “Maybe he just needs some time?”

“And what do I do if he doesn’t? I thought I’d be fine with being just friends but-,” he waved his hands around in a helpless motion. “I was basically doomed when he told me to be nice to my coffee in Spanish. I can’t just NOT crush on him now, you know. And that sucks… big time.”

Hunk smiled sympathetically at him and continued to flip through the book in front of him. “Just take it slow. Take a break for a few days and then invite him to do something and see what it feels like then. He’ll either change his mind or you could just bring me and Pidge along to make the friends thing easier. Maybe that’ll help?”

“Hmm. Yeah, maybe.”

Hunk closed his book and got up. “You up for visiting Pidge and Matt? I don’t think we’re gonna get anything done here right now. Also I think Matt finally got that video game you wanted to play so badly.”

“Nooo, Hunk. You wanted to study. I didn’t mean to distract you, I’m just gonna-“

“It’s fine, Lance. I can’t concentrate anyways. And you helped me so much with my last essay, I think I can go a day without studying.”

Lance smiled at him and got to his feet as well. “Okay. But I swear I’ll be back to normal tomorrow and then we’re gonna take a look at the stuff from Iverson’s physics lecture.” Hunk groaned loudly and made Lance laugh with his desperate expression. “I know, I know. But we both have to get better at that stuff.” He stood behind Hunk and made a gesture over his shoulder like he wanted to show Hunk a beautiful landscape.

“NASA, dude. NASA.”

“Ugh, you’re right. But Matt and Pidge now. My brain needs a break.”

Lance swung his backpack over his shoulder. “Maybe I get one of Pidge’s hugs. I love Pidge’s hugs.”

Hunk beside him nodded. “Everyone does, man. They’re the best.”

Wednesday

 (3:15am): WTF DUDE? ???

(3:17am): I KNOW SORRY! Its our stupid neighbors having a party…

(3:18am): AT T HIS HOU R???

(3:18am): pls kill them for me

(3:20am): I would but prison isnt as appealing to me as you might think

(3:21am): So ur bad boy attitude knows boundaries? ;)

(3:22am): Dont mock me Im too tired for this

(3:24am): Yeh I can feel that

(3:24am): u really dont deal well without ur beauty sleep

(3:25am): Sorry :( And no, I really dont

 (3:31am): KEEEEEEITHH do smth!!!!

(3:32am): I have a test tomorrow !!

(3:34am): OM G IT STOPPED

(3:35am): Keith?

(3:35am): did u kill them?

(3:36am): maybe

(3:36am): KE ITH!

(3:37am): I slipped an anonymous note under their door that I would kill their cat if they didnt turn off the music immediately…

(3:38am): O M G thats cruel

(3:38am): u dont threaten peoples pets

(3:38am): NOT COOL!

(3:39am): chill, I was joking. It said Id call the cops on them

(3:40am): Oh okay good hope ur not just saying that

(3:40am): Also thankk

(3:41am): no problem. Good night, Lance

(3:43am): Lance?

 (7:36am): SORRY FELL ASLEEP!

(7:37am): Have fun at work today :)

Friday

(4:12pm): why

(4:25pm): what? u dont like it? ;)

(4:28pm): no

(4:29pm): oh come on! The queen is my best study motivation!

(4:30pm): please just stop

(4:32pm): KEITH! YOU INSULT BEYONCÉ YOU INSULT ME

(4:33pm): Can’t you study to something normal

(4:35pm): Normal normal or you normal?

(4:36pm): I dont care. Just no more beyoncé please. It’s been hours

(4:39pm): Lance?

 (4:42pm): really?

(4:42pm): Evanescence? That’s mature…

(4:43pm): WAKE ME UP INSIDE

(4:43pm): WAKE ME UP INSIIIDE

(4:45pm): I hate you

(4:46pm): No u dont :)

(4:47pm): STOP THIS MADNESS!

(4:48pm): Hunk says if you come to a college thing with us tomorrow, he’ll stop me for you

(4:50pm): What kind of thing?

(4:51pm): dunno, Hunk wont say, but its really good apparently

(4:53pm): OKAY DEAL NOW PLEASE STOP

(4:54pm): Party-pooper

(4:56pm): Tell Hunk I love him

Keith got off his bike, took off his helmet and unzipped his leather jacket. He headed towards the university building with mixed feelings about what awaited him. He had fought with himself about coming today but eventually the curious side of him had won. Keith wanted to see what Hunk had planned for them and also even if it scared him to admit it…he missed Lance.

Logically he knew that it did not make any sense. They hardly knew each other. But emotionally he just… missed him. He sighed and blinked against the bright sunlight. He lifted his hand to shield his eyes against it and bumped into someone.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to-“

“Don’t sweat it. All good here.” A friendly voice interrupted him. The tall boy in front of him looked him over and tilted his head to the side. „Hey, are you Keith by any chance?”

Keith nodded. “The one and only.”

“Oh, great! I’m Hunk.“ Keith took the big hand he was offered and returned the welcoming smile. When Hunk gestured for them to move out of the sun and stand in the tall building’s shadow Keith followed him thankfully.

“Nice to meet you. Thanks for saving me yesterday by the way.”

“Oh, no problem. Lance can get like that sometimes when he’s stressed. He didn’t mean anything by it. You know… finals and all. He’s a bit on edge around this time of the year.”

“No, I get it. NASA is a big thing, who wouldn’t freak out, right?”

Hunk gave a nervous laugh. “Yah, I guess. So umm, Lance had to pick up our friend Pidge, they should be here-“

“Exactly now.” Lance’s voice interrupted them. He stopped next to Hunk and let Pidge whom he had been carrying just now slip off his back.

“Hey, Keith. This is Pidge. They use they pronouns. I guess you already know Hunk by now.” Lance smiled at him and clapped Hunk on the back.

Keith nodded and raised his hand in greeting at Pidge. Immediately he regretted the awkward gesture and lowered his hand quickly.

“What’s up butter cup.” Pidge replied with a grin completely ignoring Keith’s weird behavior, who in return just raised an eyebrow at their choice of words.

“Lance, why did you carry Pidge here? Did you take ‘pick them up’ literally again?” Hunk asked with his hands on his hips.

“They paid me two dollars.”

Pidge shrugged. “I didn’t want to walk. It’s too early.”

“It’s almost noon, Pidge.” Hunk said while shaking his head but there was a visible smile on his lips.

“Exactly. Way too early.”

“I feel you, Pidge.” Keith threw in. “I had three coffees before I got here.”

Pidge yawned and stretched their arms over their head. “Good thinking. I only had one and I feel dead inside.”

“So, Hunk. What is this thing? Why are we here?” Lance asked and absently patted Pidge’s head while they leaned against him, eyes closed and repeatedly yawning.

“We are here, because today…” Hunk made a dramatic pause, “They are having a lecture about space for family and friends of students and-“

“AHHH STAR CEILING?” Lance interrupted Hunk excited while bouncing up and down, Hunk just smiled and nodded.

“Yep, Star ceiling.”

“What exactly is star ceiling?” Keith asked confused. Judging from Lance’s reaction this had to be the best thing in the entire universe.

“It’s only the best thing ever, dude,” Lance started to explain while taking Keith’s arm and pulling him in the direction of a big building.

“They only do this once or twice a year when they have family day for the freshmen and around finals for the really stressed out students so they don’t go all homicidal and stuff.” They entered the lecture hall and Lance directed them to a row in the back. “It’s basically just a short lecture about space and planets and what we do here at college but at the end they turn off the lights and project stars on the ceiling and walls. Dude…it’s the most beautiful thing ever. It will change you!” He gestured for Keith to sit down in one of the empty seats and sat next to him.

Hunk took the seat on Keith’s other side and Pidge sat next to Lance. It seemed like they were just in time because a man holding a mic entered the small stage. From the corner of his eyes Keith saw Pidge leaning over to Lance and whispering something into his ear. A moment later Lance bent forward so that Hunk and Keith could both hear him.

“Sorry guys, we’re gonna get Pidge more coffee. They are literally about to murder someone. We’ll be back in a minute.” With that they both left the room and Keith was alone with Hunk, which he didn’t mind that much. They had only exchanged a few sentences but Keith already liked the guy.

The man on the stage started talking about the importance of astronomy and explained the different subjects they were teaching. Unfortunately he had a really boring and monotone voice and Keith immediately zoned out. Thank God Hunk was there to keep him entertained.

“I know this stuff isn’t really interesting, especially not when he’s talking,” Hunk pointed in the direction of the stage. “But it’s really worth it. Lance didn’t exaggerate…well maybe a little… but it actually is crazy beautiful.”

“So you three all study astronomy?” Keith asked. This was his opportunity to learn a bit more about Lance and his friends without this nervous feeling he got around his soulmate. Hunk somehow managed to create an atmosphere around him that immediately made Keith feel comfortable.

“Yeah. It was actually Lance who got me into this stuff when we were younger. We met Pidge here on our first day. They are this crazy genius and got into college early. They are only sixteen but way ahead of most of the students here. Turned out they and their brother Matt live in the same building as me and Lance so we hung with them a couple of times and now we’re all basically besties for life.”

“Space nerds unite,” Keith said with a smile.

“Haha, yeah. Basically.”

“So… do you and Pidge wanna get into NASA too or is that only Lance?” Keith checked the stage for a second but the guy was still talking about boring stuff and Keith noticed that a few other people in the audience had started quiet conversations.

“Well Pidge is as good as in, let’s be real. Me… well. Of course NASA is the dream for almost everyone at this university and I would be thrilled… but I’m not as set as Lance if that makes sense. I feel like I could work anywhere as long as I’m close to my friends.” Hunk shrugged and knitted his brows in deep thought before he cleared his throat.

“Lance is working really hard for it though. You have no idea how many scholarships he had to apply for before he finally got a foot in. Didn’t stop him though.” He smiled and Keith could feel how proud he was of his friend. “You know, the first year was rough. He failed an important test two times and was sure they were gonna kick his ass but he studied harder than all of us and now he’s always in the top 5.”

“Wow. That’s really impressive,” Keith heard himself say and immediately wanted to slap himself. Way to sound like a high school fangirl, Kogane. Can we please think before we speak, brain?!

“Yeah it is.” Hunk sighed, unfazed by Keith’s inner distress. “It’s also really hard to watch sometimes though…”

Keith raised an eyebrow at him.

“Not the part where he’s top of the class, no. I mean how he gets there. You can’t imagine how many all-nighters the boy pulls during finals and he always pushes himself to get better. I mean it’s great that he’s improving but sometimes I wish he would allow himself a break.” He stiffened and gave a quick laugh. “I’m talking too much again, aren’t I. Sorry, this must be a weird first impression.”

Keith didn’t say anything for a while and chewed on his lower lip. “Is it really that bad? I mean… I haven’t noticed anything and finals are just around the corner right?” He thought back to the few times he’d seen Lance. He had always looked cheery and well… relaxed.

Hunk seemed to be pondering over his answer for a while. That’s when they heard the door behind them open slowly and Lance and Pidge slipped back into the room, Pidge holding a coffee cup in each hand. Hunk leaned over a bit and whispered just before the other two sat down. “Look at his eyes, he thinks we don’t notice…”

Keith had no idea what he meant by that and was staring at a spot on the floor absently when Lance waved his hand in front of his face to get him out of his trance. “Keith, buddy, my man. They’re about to start, don’t pass out on me now!”

Keith blushed a little and sat up straighter. “Yeah, sorry. Not passing out. Now, let’s see your space magic thing. Hope it’s as good as you made it sound.”

The boy next to him grinned from ear to ear. “Better.”

The crowd around them applauded loudly. Apparently the speech part was over and somebody dimmed the lights, making everyone go silent. It was now completely dark in the hall. Keith could feel his palms getting sweaty. Why was this taking so long? He swallowed hard.

He whispered, almost inaudible “Lance?” but in this exact moment they turned on the projectors and surprised ahhhhs and ohhhs could be heard through the entire room.

Keith threw his head back so quickly he almost hit it on his seat’s backrest.

Lance’s words hadn’t prepared him for what he was seeing now at all. It was truly just… beautiful. Thousands of little stars were dancing on the ceiling and the floor and just everywhere. He knew he was sitting in a boring lecture hall and he felt incredibly stupid for even thinking so but for a moment he really felt like he was in space. His heartbeat sped up and his eyes wander around the entire room so quickly he was almost getting sick.

Keith was trying to take it all in before it stopped. The stars danced around his fingertips as he raised his hand in front of his face and watched. He wasn’t even questioning how the whole thing worked it was just too… too everything. In a good way.

“Sooo, did I promise too much?” Lance suddenly whispered next to his ear.

Keith just shook his head and then turned it to smile at him. “No, you didn’t. This is great! Thanks for inviting me to this.” Lance smiled at him and then quickly turned his head to the ceiling again. Neither of them mentioned that it had actually been Hunk who invited Keith.

Keith was still staring at Lance’s face from the corner of his eyes, watching the stars being projected onto his skin and their reflections in his eyes. He looked so beautiful like this, it made Keith’s head spin. He wanted to say something, to tell Lance how pretty he was but he bit his tongue instead. Just friends he reminded himself.

That’s when he remembered Hunk’s words from earlier and looked at Lance’s eyes more closely. What was he supposed to see? The long eyelashes? The small freckles underneath them? The well blended but thick layer of… concealer? Something clicked in his brain. Hunk had mentioned that Lance wasn’t sleeping enough and pushing too hard. Of course he and many others were unable to tell if they didn’t know what to look for. Lance had covered up his dark circles almost perfectly. Almost… Keith turned his gaze to the ceiling again and frowned. Why was he pretending to be fine? It was normal to be tired around finals wasn’t it? Why was he trying to hide it?

“Ladies and gentlemen, I’m afraid we have to end this now since our time is up,” a voice sounded from the front of the room. “Thank you all for coming and enjoy the rest of your day on campus.” They turned off the projectors and disappointment could be heard all around. Some classical song started to play and people started to shift but the lights were still out. Keith dug his nails into his palm and tried to breathe evenly. It’s fine, he tried to tell himself. They’re gonna turn them back on every second. Only they didn’t.

“Ladies and gentlemen, it appears we’re having some trouble back here. We’re sure everything will be fixed soon,” the voice echoed again. “Always a bit hard to find the light switch in the dark.” The voice said and gave a fake laugh. Some parents laughed as well. Keith didn’t. He gulped and pressed deeper into his seat.

He could feel Lance stir in the dark next to him and a hand touching his shoulder. “Keith? Are you okay?” Before Keith could even think of something to respond with the lights were finally turned back on. Keith let out a very deep breath he hadn’t noticed he was holding until now. He quickly unclenched his hands and turned his head to give Lance a small smile.

“All good, yes. I’m a bit sad it was over so quickly though.”

Lance looked at him questioningly for a second longer before he returned the smile. “Right? I wish they would do this more often!”

The group got up and headed out before the mass of people in the hall could block the aisles. The bright sunlight blinded Keith for a moment when they walked outside and he held up his helmet to shield his eyes. Someone walked into him from behind and he quickly turned around to apologize for stopping in the doorway but it was Lance he was looking at. An elderly woman complained about them being in her way and they stepped aside and walked a few feet to get away from the mass.

“Sorry for bumping into you,” Lance started, “It’s just,” he pointed at the helmet in Keith’s hand. “I didn’t notice before because I was so excited about the star thing but… did you bring your bike?” Hunk listened to their conversation and laughed looking at Lance now. Keith didn’t exactly understand what he thought was so funny and turned to Pidge for help but they were just quietly smiling at the whole scene.

“Ummm, yes? It’s how I got here. I don’t have a car, soo…” Keith shrugged a little lost.

“Awesome! I mean great. I mean...,” Lance scratched his head. “Can I see it?”

“Uhh, sure. I parked right over there.” Keith pointed over his shoulder. Lance didn’t even wait for the others. He was already on his way to the parking lot, almost running. When the others caught up with him he was inspecting Keith’s bike and admiring the details of the machine by almost touching it with his nose.

Hunk and Pidge seemed kind of impressed too and Hunk slapped Keith’s shoulder. “Sweet ride, Keith!” He joined Lance in walking around the bike to get a better look. “Lance mentioned you work at a workshop. Did you build this yourself?”

Keith nodded and then realised that Hunk wasn’t looking at him so he couldn’t see. “Yah, I did. It was the first project I did without Shiro’s help. Took me a while to find all the parts. I could get a better bike if I wanted but I’m kind of sentimental I guess.”

Lance nodded. “No I get it. It’s a bit like it’s your child, right? I mean… you made her.”

Keith smiled. “Yeah. I guess.”

Pidge gave a fake cough to get everyone’s attention and pointed at the bike. “If you’re finished drooling over that can we go get some food please?”

“That?” Keith repeated in a fake hurt tone.

“They’re secretly loving this more than Lance and me. You should see the stuff they build. We should visit you at your shop and just leave Pidge there for a few hours. They’d have the time of their life.” Hunk chuckled at the expression on Pidge’s face after his revelation.

 “Speaking of food though,” Lance looked at Keith and tilted his head, “We thought about grabbing a bite at Planet Altea. You in?”

Keith considered for a moment. He could spend some more time with them and get to know them better. He probably should. Shiro would tell him to… but he also really wanted to go home. The light incident had seriously freaked him out even if he didn’t want to show it. He’d rather calm down at home, alone, where he could stop pretending and no one would see what a mess he really was after such a small thing.

“Sorry, I need to leave. Shiro wants to visit an old friend of his and he’s dragging me along.” Lie. Shiro never dragged him anywhere Keith didn’t want to go. Apart of from that Shiro wasn’t even home right now.

Lance chewed his lower lip. “Ohh. Okay. We’ll text then?” The disappointed look on his face made Keith feel bad instantly.

“Yes definitely. It was really great. Thank you all for taking me.” Let me leave let me go.

Pidge and Hunk said goodbye and they watched Keith take off quickly. Lance waved one last time before he was out of sight, but Keith didn’t turn around to see it.

 Usually driving calmed him down but he felt himself get more anxious with every mile. He was glad he could finally take off the helmet when he arrived at his and Shiro’s place because he could breathe more freely instantly. He put the bike in the garage, unlocked the front door and took the elevator up to their floor. After hastily unlocking the front door and locking it after himself again, he immediately kicked off his boots and headed for his bedroom.  

He’d learned a few breathing techniques during his never ending counseling sessions and was really glad about that right now. After some minutes of leaning against his door he got his breathing under control. His thoughts however where still spinning, so he put his favourite playlist on shuffle and flopped down on his bed.

After a couple of songs Keith took out his phone to ask Shiro when he would be home and noticed he had gotten a few messages.

 (2:17pm): Hey, u ok?

(2:18pm): Getting kind of an anxious vibe over here?!

(2:20): Also thats an awful lot of emo music for someone who insists hes not emo ;)

 Shit. Sometimes he forgot the soulmate connection was a thing.

 (2:33pm): Sorry! Yes I’m good

There was an immediate response.

(2:33pm): U sure? Doesnt feel like it

(2:35pm): Idk

(2:36pm): Maybe not

(2:36pm): do you wanna talk? I can call u

Keith’s whole body tensed. Was he ready for that? Should he lie, maybe say he was tired and wanted to nap or something? Should he tell the truth? He frowned.

(2:37pm): I’m not… good at phone calls

(2:37pm): Np u can just listen and I’ll do the talkin

(2:39pm): that’d be ok?

Keith swallowed. Shiro probably wouldn’t be home for a while and he really needed to talk to someone. The question was if Lance was safe to talk to? Would it overstep the friendship line? Why could things never be easy…

 (2:42pm): yes, ok

 [Incoming call: Lance McClain]

More author’s notes:

This fic on AO3

Yeah after 500 years I finally updated. I could explain at length why it took my so long but it comes down to this: I was stressed, I was depressed, I’m sorry but now it’s finally here! Hooray!

As always a big THANK YOU to @alteanmoonchild for being my beta and for reading every new draft and honestly telling me when what I wrote isn’t good so I can improve and grow. I love us working together on this <3

Thank you to all of you for reading! If you have any questions or feedback send me an ask or dm me <3

Me an my friends finally cosplayed Voltron so if you wanna see me as Shiro and my awesome friends as Keith, Lance and Coran head over to my instagram.

Do you know what keeps me motivated when I so often doubt my writing and don’t know how to continue? Getting feedback! So please reblog, like, comment or even draw fanart. Whenever I read an “I love this” comment it makes me incredible happy! Also one of my goals is to someday have someone draw fanart for something wrote soo... if you wanna do that I’ll love you. Also please tag me if you do.

If you want me to tag you in the next part when I post it, just send me an ask saying so and I’ll add you to the taglist.

taglist: @alyy--caticus @princealektheorange @an-important-nobody @teddyorionpotter @spookyscaryshitstorm @ladythugs @positevelybakerstreet @meganmoo02 @atomicengineerdetective @jishwadun-is-jishwafun @anemoee