#because its so important to him. but when louis starts getting too personal (i know what you're here for danny) he starts backing off again

[fascinationstreetmp3]

I have what you're looking for. High quality. Befitting a man of my tastes. I have a room over on Divisadero, not too far a walk.

[pub-lius]

Why don't you have any detailed posts about Steuben smh do better

AW FUCK NO MY REPUTATION!! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE THE GAY HISTORY PERSON IF I DONT HAVE A DETAILED POST ABOUT STEUBEN!!!! i have to fix this...

Early Life

Friedrich Wilhelm August Heinrich Ferdinand Baron de Steuben was born on September 17, 1730 in Prussia. He joined the Prussian army at the age of 17, so he got a real early start.

Note: I've written his name here as "Baron de Steuben", as this name is from a French record, however he is typically referred to as "Baron von Steuben", as "von" is the translation of "de" from French to Prussian, and they both mean "of" in English. I just wanted to clarify that for the sake of my own linguistically correct sanity

Steuben began his service in the French and Indian War (or Seven Years War if you're a dirty European) as a second lieutenant, and was then wounded at the Battle of Prague, a Prussian victory. Then, he joined General Johann von Mayer's adjutant and principle staff officer in a special detached corps.

Then, he was promoted to first lieutenant and wounded AGAIN at the Battle of Kunersdorf, which was a Russian and Austrian victory. He was then transferred to general headquarters as a staff officer in the position of deputy quartermaster (this is important!!).

He was taken prisoner when Major General von Knoblock surrendered at Treptow, and was released after a year in 1762. He was promoted to captain and then became an aide-de-camp to Frederick the Great, which is as metal as it gets. He joined the King's class on the art of war, where he learned even more super cool military leadership skills.

Life Between Wars

Steuben met St. Germain in Hamburg (a notoriously great place to meet people). If you aren't in the know like I clearly am, St. Germain would eventually be the French Minister of War during the American Revolution. They'd meet again in France when Steuben was serving as Grand Marshall to the Prince of Hollenzollern-Hechingen, and if that sounds made up to you, it's because you don't even know him like I do.

Steuben continued looking for military work, but those European assholes (the British, French, and Austrians) rejected my man for no good reason (probably because he was gay or something). It was during his stay in France where he heard of the rowdy Americans across the pond.

St. Germain introduced Baron von Steuben to Silas fucking Deane and Benjamin "Slim Shady" Franklin, but they weren't able to promise Steuben anything but some regurgitated American propaganda, since, by this time, they were already getting yelled at by Congress and Washington for allowing too many incompetent Frenchmen into the Continental Army. They told him that the only way he could assist in the American fight for independence would be to go to America and present himself as a volunteer to Congress (like Lafayette ended up having to do).

This obviously pissed off Steuben since he was actually experienced trying to get a job, because its not fun being an overqualified, unemployed gay man in 18th century Europe. But still, he settled for being a volunteer, and set out for America, his passage being paid for by the French government.

WHAT THE FUCK IS A KILOMETERRRRRRR

Steuben traveled to America with his Italian greyhound, Azor, and his two assistants, Louis de Pontiere (ADC) and Pierre Ettienne Duponceau (military secretary). They arrived in New Hampshire on December 1, 1777. They were almost arrested upon arrival because Steuben had a blond moment and mistakenly dressed them in red uniforms instead of blue. They traveled through Boston to York, Pennyslvania, arriving on February 5, 1778.

In Steuben's letter of recommendation, Franklin mistranslated Steuben's rank to "His Excellency, Lieutenant General von Steuben, Apostle of Frederick the Great", which made him seem way more distinguished than he was. As a result, he was presented a much higher rank by Congress.

Steuben was ordered to report to Washington's headquarters at Valley Forge, where he arrived on February 23, 1778, and was described by a soldier as "a perfect personification of Mars."

Steuben's good first impression also had an effect on Washington, who appointed him temporary Inspector General, and it was in this position that he had his largest impact on American history, and changed the course of the war

Why Every Army Should Have Gay People, An Essay by Publius

Baron von Steuben began his transformation of the Continental Army by writing training drills, overriding the regional trainings of the state militias into a unified and universal regimen. There was a significant language barrier, however, as Steuben originally wrote the drills in French, which were then translated into English by Duponceau, John Laurens, and Alexander Hamilton. Then, they were given to the brigade inspectors, who made the copies which were then copied to be delivered to each officer. There was definitely a more efficient way to do this, but you know. It was also Valley Forge.

General Washington's Life Guard and some men from each state (totalling around 120 men) were used as a model to show the rest of the army how they were supposed to go through the drills. As they trained and demonstrated the drills, Steuben was writing new ones, only a few days ahead, which is a massive time crunch. This was done intentionally to make the drills as simple as he could, so the training of the army was dispersed in a rapid, orderly fashion. This man was a genius, I can't emphasize it enough.

The officers in the British army, which was the standard for Americans in many respects, would allow the sergeants to drill the men, but Steuben said fuck that, I'm gonna do it myself. This made many American officers uncomfortable because the men developed a bond with him because of how talented he was (and the fact that he was funny and used profanity in multiple languages), and along with the fact that Steuben's office seemingly had no limitations, this caused them to complain to the big boss, Washington. To make them feel better, Washington issued orders on June 15, 1778 to govern the Inspector General's office until further word from Congress.

The reformed Continental Army showed off their swag on May 6, 1778 when they celebrated the news of the Franco-American Alliance, which impressed soldiers, officers, and civilians. More happy news came when Steuben was given his commission from the Congress as Inspector General, with the rank of Major General.

It was at the Battle of Monmouth when the new training of the Continental Army was able to take what would have been a losing battle for the Americans to a technical draw. Steuben was actually almost killed/taken prisoner (depending on the mood of the British) during this battle because he was wearing so many metals of honor that he glimmered in the sunlight, and was spotted by the British. He was fine, though.

General von Steuben went to Philadelphia in the winter of 1778-79 to write his book of regulations, referred to as The Blue Book. Lieutenant Colonel Francois de Fleury, a volunteer, assisted in writing it. It was with the assistance of ~Benjamin Walker~ and Duponceau that the blue book was translated into English, which is why we know Walker as being important! And the fact that he and Steuben totally boned! Anyway, Captain Pierre Charles L'Enfant was illustrated it, and the book was used all the way until 1814.

After the war

General von Steuben rejoined the Continental Army in April of 1779 to serve through the end of the war. He was an instructor and supply officer for General Nathanael Greene's southern army from the beginning of the southern campaign until Yorktown. Steuben commanded one of three divisions in the Continentals at Yorktown. He assisted in demobilizing the army in 1783, and resigned his commission in 1784, which is actually the latest I've heard of a Continental General resigning his commission!

Steuben continuously petitioned Congress for financial compensation for mesothelioma (not really) and fuck ass Congress only gave him a part of what he was owed, which was pretty typical. But! New York, Pennsylvania, and Virginia all gave him land grants, which he sold portions off to have enough money to live. So, he retired from NYC to his land holdings to live the remainder of his life.

Oh, and fun fact, Steuben was present at one of the riots in New York that Alexander Hamilton tried to stop, and they both had bricks thrown at them. It might have been the Cadaver Riots, but I could be wrong since I didn't feel like double checking.

Steuben never married, and instead lived with Benjamin Walker for a long period of time. He died on his 16,000 acre farm tract in the Mohawk Valley of New York on November 28, 1794.

Homosexuality

The source I used for this does not mention his homosexuality at all, but I'm going to, because the last thing you'll ever see me do is pretend like gay people didn't exist or are "unprofessional" to talk about in history.

If you say that Alexander Hamilton was gay, you have to say Steuben was, and vice versa. Rumors of homosexuality followed Steuben from Europe all the way to America, and play a large role in why he relocated many times, and never seemed to have a permanent home until the end of his life. This was a form of unofficial exile that many queer people faced in times where their existence was illegal. As soon as your name was associated with possible homosexuality, you couldn't get comfortable anywhere.

But von Steuben wasn't brought down by this, and you've gotta respect that. He threw elaborate parties starting almost as soon as he arrived at the Continental Army. If you're new to the amrev community here, this is what we mean by "flaming shot/pantless parties", because they had shots of liquor that they would light on fire, and in order to get in, at least part of your breeches had to have been missing. While straight men did attend these parties, the subtext in discussions about them seem to imply that they were also a gathering place for queer men.

These parties continued, and some familiar faces were there, such as Duponceau, Walker Hamilton, Laurens, and, later on, Charles Adams. However, I'm not going to speculate on who was fucking who, though it has been largely accepted by historians that General von Steuben and Benjamin Walker were lovers, and I personally think there is substantial evidence to support this when you align their personal correspondence with the close proximity they maintained throughout their lives.

General von Steuben is a figure that is very important to many queer people as a conspicuous queer man in history who had an undeniable impact on the course of American history. Portrayals of Steuben in media typically disregard this, however more and more biographers are discussing his homosexuality and the significance it plays in queer history. So, I'll end this post by saying this: Steuben is just as significant in American history as he is in Queer history, and it is irresponsible to pretend like he isn't.

Source:

National Park Service- Valley Forge

British Battles.com- Battle of Kunersdorf

George Washington's Indispensable Men by Arthur S. Lefkowitz

John Laurens and the American Revolution by Gregory D. Massey

Alexander Hamilton by Ron Chernow

Anyway, thank you for giving me an excuse to talk about Steuben lol. I didn't previously know much about his life before the American Revolution, so I was very happy to learn. I actually bought a biography about him not long ago, The Drillmaster of Valley Forge: The Baron de Steuben and the Making of the American Army by Paul Lockhart, but I haven't read it yet. If anyone has, pls let me know if it's good or not. After Massey and Chernow, I'm practically on my hands and knees begging for a male author to treat queer history seriously. Anyway, thank you for the ask! I'm going to go watch the george washington mini series for steuben content

[fancyfeathers]

Okay this is a bit a weird request for Fancy. Basically after finishing the current archon quest and seeing your comments about Kachina (I love her btw) I just had the most weird and insane idea at 2 am 😭

Okay- So what if William and his darling had another daughter? Like, you know when most of fam had kids and they kinda have grown big and then there is this random younger child that is born after many years of everyone pretty much stopping having kids years ago.

Basically my idea was that this younger daughter would be really similar to Kachina in terms of personality. And since she probably would have been an accidental(?) child, she is like way younger than the rest of the kids and she is way to young to figure out/know about the lord of crime thing, so she just kinda is that lonely child left aside (especially after william is gone for like 3 years presumed ‘dead’, where all of other kids just leave the house and don’t even come back for the reunion)

So yeah- this is very random- you can make it AU scenario if it feels weird to include her, or not do it at all of its too chaotic 😭 but ig i would love ur thoughts on this then ❤️

Yes, Oh my god yes! I live this request more than anything and she would probably end up looking a lot like Kachina just because genetics from William and his darling

I love this idea and I am making it happen now

Father Like Daughter (Yandere William James Moriarty and his darling having a genius daughter)

I could definitely see this happening one of two ways, the first of which would her being born right before the Final Problem. At this point Eloise is around seventeen, and Madeline is about fifteen, and when she is born both of them forget what it is like to have a baby around since they were all born within a few years of each other. Then when William is pronounced as “dead” and everything just falls to hell, she probably would be taken in by Louis and his darling, her uncle and aunt, since William’s darling just had her whole world turn around and is no state to raise another child (to which then she goes to New York to start over and reunites with William). For three years she is raised by him and she has a normal childhood, playing about with other kids but at the same time she helps out when she can since her Uncle Louis always seems a bit stressed, so she grows a sense of responsibility. She is told about her father, not about the darker sides of their family though, and her elder sister and cousins, but when she asks if she can meet them Louis has to say no but he cannot tell her why, that they all cut everyone else off, so he has to tell her that her older sisters and cousins are doing really important jobs so they are quite busy. But sometimes she will snag a glance at the newspaper when her uncle or even Mr. Bonde is reading it and see stories about her amazing detective sister and her latest case or her really cool big cousin and the charity he had just founded, they are her heroes and she barely knows them. That is until one day when she is out on a walk to the store with her Uncle Louis and she let’s go of his hand for one second to look at a pretty lady’s dress and-

“Watch out!”

Before she can even know what is going on, a lady grabs her and pulls her out of the way from being trampled by a horse. It takes her a second to recognize the lady as none other than Eloise. There is a quick sweet moment between the two of them before Eloise has to hand her back to their uncle because she has a meeting with a client of hers. Then on their own way home her uncle hears her say-

“When I’m grown up I want to be brave and strong, just like Eloise!”

The other way is that when William and his darling reunite in New York, his darling ends up getting pregnant with her and she gets a pretty normal childhood compared to her sisters and cousins. She will snuggle between her parents after they had dinner with Billy and Sherlock and Sherlock’s darling and ask all about what her big sisters are like with no idea of who they really are now, so in her mind she gets painted this false version of what they are like now because children cannot always understand how people can change over time. So when the day comes when she finally gets to move to England, she is so excited to meet her big sisters and cousin and honestly expects to be a big family like in the stories William told her about them. So just imagine her shock and disappointment when none of the show up and she just looks at her father and asked why aren’t they there.

She would honestly probably be everything William hoped for in his relationship with his children but the others just have stubborn way of seeing things.

[sunray-sunray]

I'm not in the loop with the whole IWTV thing, but with the posts I've been seeing since yesterday I'm intrigued. Could you explain?

First of all, I'm glad you liked the posts @bookwormsontherun (although right now I don't know what posts you're referring to exactly), I normally try to not post too much of one topic but rather a good mixture of my interests :>

So, what is IwtV in general: Originally the movie IwtV from 1994 and the series that started in 2022 are the TV-adaptations from the book series "The Vampire Chronicles" by Anne Rice. IwtV is the title of book 1 and the plot of season 1, but they decided to stick to the title on further seasons too. Although they changed a few things in the series (the biggest fear of every reader), like the time frame, skin colour of a few characters and some locations, it turned out really good.

What is it about: Generally there isn't only one plot, because nearly every book has one of its own. The element or in this case the person who is connecting everything is the vampire Lestat (the blonde guy you probably saw in a post). In book 1 and season 1 + 2 Lestat's love Louis tells us how he experienced meeting him, getting turned into a vampire and then living with Lestat. A huge turning point is when there comes the tragically young vampire girl "Claudia" into the picture - she is in different ways very important to both of them and also a eternal memory of the author's daughter who died very young. Louis tells all of that to the reporter Daniel, who is recording it. Later on everything gets turned into a published book called (guess what) "Interview with the Vampire". 😄

Naturally the vampire community isn't very fond of people who are running around, telling the whole world about their existence. So this will be a upcoming problem to solve in the future season(s).

A person I have to mention too, is the vampire Armand, the former leader of the Parisian coven and a former lover of Lestat. I think in the series his part seems a bit changed, because now his relationship with Louis is much more visible. We see scheming, lying, gas lighting, anger and fear of loss issues, but also a sad backstory and a deep need to be loved.

In the upcoming season 3 the focus will be on book 2 "The Vampire Lestat" and maybe book 3 ("The Queen of the Damned"), where the point of view changes into Lestat's perspective. He gets his chance as a widely known rock star, publishes a book of his own (can you guess the title? 😂), meets very old and important people, and puts a few things right, which Louis said in his book.

Why would I recommend the books and the series: First of all because the writing itself is beautiful - the chosen language and the detailed descriptions of places and thoughts paint you a picture of the world the characters live in. Also don't expect a plot full of fast action, detailed sex scenes or joke after joke. It's not that. You come across questions about life, love, death, loss or your place in this world, and sometimes you need to look closely and think about things twice, before you can fully grasp the intention of a scene or chapter. But I like that - nowadays we are living in a time, where everything has to be fast and beautiful cinematic shots or descriptive things are not as important as before. Also with all the streaming platforms we are faced with a huge amount of series and movies, where everything needs to be evermore bigger, sexier or more brutal to survive. But in the case of the Vampire chronicles the fandom base is already there and pretty big, so they don't have to fight for every breath and are able to show us scenes, which are beautifully made, but with less action.

Secondly- the longer you read, the more you understand the characters and their decisions, which can be very complex or chaotic. Also it gets more and more apparent, that you can't trust just one perspective - you never know what the absolute truth is (if there is any, because everything is told from a wholly subjective view).

Thirdly: Anne Rice is an early example of writing about other sexual orientations than heterosexuality in a way that reached many people in quite a short time span (the 1st book was published 1976). This gets clearer and clearer in the later books and it's very interesting to see how the author is able to show you things without going into detail.

Fourthly: The cast and the producers are huge fans themselves, so they want to put as much of the books into the series as we do, which is great. For example they sometimes used the lines from the books word for word and if you know them it's beautiful to recognize them while watching :3

I hope this helps, thanks for your question! 🤗

[nalyra-dreaming]

hello, i apologize if this question has alreaby been asked. i usually dont lurk into fandoms because i fail at navigating them, i just stick with interviews and bts, but for this adaptation i needed to peek a second to ask this. my understanding of vampire chronicles is that from start to finish its a huge messy romantic polycule, i never felt the need or even tried to pick couples because instead i loved to see how these romantic dynamics differ while being equally important and therefore show us the layers of these characters. even the supposed wedding still doesnt make me feel that they all wont still be a polycule in the full sense till the end. but here comes the confusion about the adaptation. from the interviews and the show itself i dont understand if i have to forget the polyamory that we have in the books or not. rolin (and cast too) i understood wants to be loyal to the material and anne but also big changes have been made and will be made. if they want to get rid of the polyamorous nature of these vampires would be a real pity, a lot of richness of this story would be lost i think. this is what im sensing.

Hmmm.

So... it's not as if the vampires are all living in a poly-happy-relationship-knot in the books?

I know that it may come across as that, maybe, especially through fanfiction, I guess, but... in the books a lot of them live at Lestat's court (only) when the chronicles leave them.

And of those a lot of them love others of them. A lot of them hate others, too.

Living together does not necessarily equate romantic polycule. There are established pairings. Lestat & Louis, Armand & Daniel. Sevraine & Gabrielle. Seth & Fareed. And so on.

There surely are... lets say "excursions", and I wouldn't exactly say that with the show canon of sex added to the mix that there wouldn't be wild orgies... but... I wouldn't call it a "romantic polycule" per se. Or polyamory in the sense you seem to mean it.

The emotions are a complicated beast, and though there are interesting speeches wrt Armand and Lestat (for example) in the last book these are an expression of pain because of Louis (at that particular event).

I mean, these vampires have eternity, and the capacity to love more than one person. But it does not mean that (for example) Louis and Lestat live with Daniel and Armand then. That is not the case. Or Marius and Armand and Daniel. Though he was with Daniel for a while that is not the case either. You know?

It is complicated. And it does transcend typical human relationship standards.

But they're not "a huge messy romantic polycule" from start to finish, it is more an ever-shifting mess of relationships. An up and down, would be more appropriate to describe it, maybe.

As such I believe Rolin has built the show on two f the most solid ones there. Loustand and DM are endgame relationships. Which does not mean that they won't love others, too, but "love" and "in love" are different things. Lestat loves his mother, and will love her... but he doesn't live in a relationship with her later on, she is with Sevraine. Louis certainly feels some kind of love for Armand, but he doesn't continue to live with him, he leaves and chooses Lestat. Daniel chooses Armand again. Lestat loves his architect enough to bring him over, but Alain is not added to the relationship he has with Louis. There are vampires who support them, share blood with them, but they are not in a romantic relationship. And so on.

The court (in the later books, it is very different in the first ones?!) is the implementation of finally accepting themselves and what they are... and to live as such, with each other. But that does not mean that they're all romantically involved.

We'll see what the show does with it, but personally I did not expect them to go "messy romantic polycule"... what I do expect them to do is not shy away from the messy interconnections that exist because of history... and they don't.

I mean... Louis and Armand having shared a boyfriend is true (well, if you believe Armand^^) - but it's apart by a hundred years.

[dwreader]

Interview with the Vampire Episode 2 Podcast Transcript

Special Guests: Sam Reid and Jewelle Gomez

"Being a vampire is hard, its very difficult to endure and exist forever basically and you need to have quite a lot of strength and internal power to endure and Lestat recognizes that in Louis. When he sees him on the street and thinks that very very very beautiful man just pulled a knife on his brother in the middle of the street to look powerful to save his own skin and he has enough strength to do that and Lestat thinks this guy has enough strength to endure. And he's also got the hots for him really badly..." -Sam Reid

Sam Reid Interview

N: Sam Reid, thank you so much.

S: Thank you for having me.

N: Don't you be nice, I'm coming in here and I'm mad at you. My question is this- how dare you?

S: What are you referring to exactly?

N: Here's what I think of Lestat, I think Lestat is a messy bitch who lives for drama. What did you know about Lestat coming into the audition?

S: I know the books, I've known them for a very long time. I heard they were making it and I said I hoped I would get the chance to an audition for it. The thing that freaked me about the auditon was the majority of it was in French. It had all the lines in English but it said in paranthesis in French. I studied French in school and my sister speaks fluent French but I am not fluent so that was a bit stressful.

N: You and Jacob did your chemistry tests over Zoom, I mean does anyone have chemistry over Zoom? That must've been so tough.

S: Yeah,. I don't know what they were looking for or how to gauge chemistry from that cause it was really glitchy and speaking over each other and trying really hard to act into the camera which just wasn't really working. Jacob is such a lovely person and a fantastic actor and just an easy person to be around so I could tell he was gonna be a very easy person to fall in love with. It was fun, in fact I just came with having ice cream with Jacob. And he says hello

N: Omg I'm obsessed, give me this footage, I want ice cream footage, I want strolling the streets of downtown New Orleans footage.

S: And we hang out all the time, we've become very good friends. Cause it is a crazy journery we're on and its a crazy job so it's nice have a very good friend.

N: So Lestat has a life well before the show starts and he's been on this journey and you have the different versions of Lestat from the book and you have this amalgation. What sort of conversations did you have w/ the showrunner Rolin Jones about your version of Lestat?

S: The premise is for Louis to revisit the interview so Louis has a more nuanced way of describing Lestat so my question was how much of this is the real Lestat and how much of is Louis' version of Lestat? Because obviously this is a memory. This is all through Louis's eyes so is this actually how Lestat is like or is he different? and I think we play with that on and off. What's really important about this season is you're playing a character seen through somebody else's eyes.

N: Right right right, Gordian knot. It's a bit of a layer.

S: And everyone kept telling me stop thinking about it too much don't think about it and I didn't and I don't think about it too much when I'm doing. There will come a day when I think Lestat turns around and goes actually this is how it fucking happend.

N: Okay well Sam, you're just making me so mad cause you're too kind and too funny. cause I was coming in with hard hitting questions and I was livid at Lestat. This is what's so fun about the show and what its doing so right as a genre story, is the humor and the personality. [coffin scene plays] I mean Lestat is out here, it's such a funny monent for Lestat its like OK you wanna own a club? I was like Louis you have unlimited power and you want a club? Dream bigger!

S: I think it goes to show how in love Lestat is with Louis that he's gonna give him these things that mean absolutely nothing in the context of vampire world. But what Lestat doesn't understand is that what Louis needs is that power and is control over his life. There's a lesson for both of them and in this moment, Lestat doesn't understand.

N: Here's another question I have.. I just need you to tell me, where is Lestat's money coming from??

S: He's got investments and he's got bankers and lawyers in France. When he got turned into a vampire, he was given like the most ginormous amount of money like an entire room of treat.

N: You're giving us so much backstory, I didn't even know that.

S: If you think about inflation over the years  its just like an obscene obscene amount of money. And if you've lived through the centuries you're able to follow the trends of markets..

N: That's why I would be a vampire or travel through time, like people say they would kill Hitler and yes I would do that too but I would also get some good property, like get some good spaces like I'd go back to like 1899 when its cheap and buy it all up. One Park Ave apartment!

S: Thats why all vampires are pretty damn rich, like Louis in 2022 in Dubai he is really mega rich, he's got Francis Bacons.

N: I didn't even clock it. You also know he's rich cause his penthouse is so cold. Rich people really love stone floors and sharp edges, you know they want you to know if you're poor  you could die in here.

S: Exactly, and you're never comfortable..

N: Why do you think Lestat chose Louis cause as a viewer there's a question from moment one - do these men really love each other, are they just entangled, the whole time you're watching.. do I want them to be together?

S: Being a vampire is hard, its very difficult to endure and exist forever basically and you need to have quite a lot of strength and internal power to endure and Lestat recognizes that in Louis. When he sees him on the street and thinks that very very very beautiful man just pulled a knife on his brother in the middle of the street to look powerful to save his own skin and he has enough strength to do that and Lestat thinks this guy has enough strength to endure. And he's also got the hots for him really badly. He tries really hard to be a good normal guy as best as he can and I think when he has dinner with his familiy and he screws up, he does actually feel quite bad that he's made a mess of that cause he was trying really hard to be on his best behavior. Instead he hypnotizes his brother and makes a big scene. He's starts making innuendos and brings up God, which is never a good thing with Lestat. So he does his absolute best to pretend he's drinking wine and eating food.

N: What was it like to go from covid isolation to sex scenes?

S: Um, hmm. The sex scenes were kind of the easier part and we were all in the same bubble together and we were getting tested all the time like daily. It was a funny time cause we had these mad contacts on and they're quite cloudy. Jacob and I really clung to each other a lot of the time cause we couldn't really see, everyone else had masks on and you could only the person just in front of you. So it was this very comedic languid dream like place.

N: Can we talk more about the contacts, the makeup.. I cannot take the nails, the long nails, the cutting everyone.

S: The nails were a real process, originally they were press on / stick on nails and I had so many action I was always grabbing stuff and they were constantly popping off and so they said you should get acryllic. It took me a long long time to get used to acryllic nails and a lot of people would just come up and talk to me, like I would be in a restaurant and someone would just be like hey I love your nails. it was free reign for people to come up and chat so I became a nicer looking person with the nails.

N: It's like nails and hair. You always had short hair right?

S: Yeah it's usually always short. My hair was short when I first arrived in and it grew out over the course of the show, so we extended it with extensions and then it was my own hair. At first Rolin was like you know I think you could have short hair your hair looks good, I was like no no no no.. I think if you're gonna play a character like Lestat you kind of  have to have the nails and the hair. And he likes to accentuate things if he's really pissed off he'll flip it all the way back you know.

N: And there are time we are almost getting drag queen level drama from Lestat,  he wants you and everyone in a 10 mile radius to know when he's mad.

S: It's drama, he loves drama. I love him very dearly so I don't want to say anything bad about him but he wants to create a bit of drama he'll create a bit of drama. And if he wants to be really seductive in a moment and flip it and be really ugly, he will. He does what he wants whenever he wants and he'll make sure everyone's watching him do it cause he know he looks great doing it. He's a super vain guy but his heart is in the right place I would say.

N: Nope Sam, nope. Okay. Sam. I'm gonna have to push back. I know you played him but I'm saying you're wrong. .. One thing I think Rolin does so well that you and Jacob capture is this is now an interracial relationship, it charges these questions Anne was already asking - what is it to be human, what is power, what are relationships. [incinerator argument scene plays] Do you think that being a vampire being hundreds of years old, that Lestat think of himself as above race?

S: I don't know if he thinks of it like that, I think he definitely acknowledges the prejudices that exist, he acknolwedges it as soon as he meets Louis and I think once you become a vampire, that you can transcend that, thats what Lestat fully misunderstands about Louis' situation. I think he has a lot to learn in that regard.

N: Lestat is kinda like humans are trifles, we don't have time for it. Louis believes humanity is worthwhile and still wants to be apart of it.

S: I think he just doesn't understand yet, I think Louis at this point doesn't understand the enormity of living forever. He's just become a vampire, his family is still around, I think once you see everyone around you grow old die you see wars break outriots break out, you see the ages through the century, you see humanity is in this fucked up cycle that continues on the same hamster wheel. You're this fantastic creature that exists outside of humanity, why do you need to bother engaging with the small little fancies of these human beings. Then Lestat, there's his choice, I'm gonna live it up and have a good time and make a joke about it find it funny. He is very oscillating though so sometimes the joke is at his expense and sometimes the joke is at everyone else's expensve but he is the one who's always laughing. But what I will say is what Lestat feels about humanity is through art, like there is a beautiful pure expression and he really repsects and admires that and love musicians and artists. [opera scene plays] I mean what an amazing gift to read a scene like that I couldn't believe it when I was reading it and then it dawned on me that I would have to play the piano, sing, and speak Italian and kill somebody. Yeah, don't screw it up or you will die. But if you're a good musician in his eyes, he will make sure you're fully appreciated. If you're bad, yes you will die.

N: So the stakes are pretty chill. Either you're good and have a patron for life or you're bad and you die.

[teasing future episodes]

Jewelle Gomez Interview Highlights

N: In this episode, we learn a lot about vampires. I'm wondering how common these are in other vampire stories, like are they things Anne codified or have they been around. First, Lestat saying he had been so lonely, he says there are only about 100 other vampires in the world. What? I thought there were so many more?

J: I think the general idea has been vampires don't create much in the way of community that tehy are individualists in a great sense. No one ever really talks about the numbers but they seem to be very small so I think the tendency is to be inviduals.

N: They said the vampires can't drink the blood of the dead?

J: Yeah, thats a no no. You just don't be doing that. The heart has still got to be beating while you're taking the blood. Cause the blood from a dead person will draw you into death. That's pretty common, everyone knows that.

N: I thought maybe it was a taste issue like its a little sticky its a little coagulated that its not as good. But okay. Another tidbit we get is vampires can't read the minds of someone they've made. So like lestat can't read louis' mind?

J: I dont know if that is a general rule about makers. In general, vampires can read anybody's thoughts based on my extensive research/

N: Vampires live in coffins but do they need to sleep in coffins. I thought that was an old school idea like if you were a modern vampire you'd be like this is my studio apartment.

J: Every novel you read they sleep in coffins, although when I was writing a black lesbian vampire moving into the 20th century having escaped from slavery, she would not be sleeping in no coffin! I was like no no no no no. The big thing about coffin is the security, if you can get in there and lock it. In Dracula he carries his home soil so his coffin is lined with. In my books, I put her on a futon and its pretty uncomfortable but so is a coffin, behind a very thick door and she's good to go.

N: Alright thats the end of our lightning round, okay now Jewelle, what is your relationship with TVC and Anne Rice in general?

J: I read IWTV certainly when it first came out and I had written a single story a vampire story that got published in the Village Voice and then I thought I could write more of these cause people really liked it. Anne Rice's writing made me realize how sensual the vampire story could be and that meant the texture to a lot of my own writing of vampire stories.

N: What is it about vampires for you that you feel like lends itself to exploring queerness and sexuality more so than other monsters?

J: I think vampires have a natural sensuality. I mean the very act of taking blood is skin against skin, touching. The way that vampire interactions are set up is like a seduction in most cases. Bringing someone into vampire life involves an exchange of liquids, the lips touching, parts of the body, its sensual by its very nature. It draws in anyone who is interested in any sensual writing, queer writers allows us to create an outsider figure who's also the hero of the story. For we as queer people, being an outside being at the center our of own story.

N: Certainly this version of IWTV is doing its own thing but very much rooted in Anne's books. Before it was a little implicit, it was coded that Louis and Lestat had something going on. Here it's like this is what its about.

J: I think Louis and Lestat's relationship is core to the story and what moves the story and because its the 21st century we can now look at how two men come together and can find each other. What's really moving about this particular version is when Lestat talks about how lonely he has been for so long and I think he's giving voice to what a lot of queer people feel before they find their queer lover. So its very very moving to be able to experience that loneliness before he's able to find the lover he's been looking for.

N: There's so many ethical questions about being a vampire, like you're a vampire that doesn't wanna kill people. Do you think a vampire has to kill people in order to be really powerful?

J: I don't think so. A vampire has the power to take blood and not kill. To take small amounts from lots of people and not kill. And that's the way I wanted my character to go cause she's creating community, I think the idea that Louis could take blood and not kill, he does finally get to that when we see the interview w/ the older Molloy. I also know that all of us donate blood to the Red Cross we don't die when we give a pint of blood. So I think its possible to donate that amount of blood to a vampire and still live. That made more sense to me, that's how I created my vampires.

N: I love the idea that a vampire would take your blood and give you Orange Juice and cookies. Like here's a couple dried biscuits, take a seat for 10 minutes.

[faithinlouisfuture]

what do you think it is about louis that elicits such emotional involvement from fans? i’ve rarely ever seen it with any other artists and I follow/stan many

i can only answer this from my own perspective, i’m sure that if you asked other fans they might have different answers… for me first and foremost it’s his art; and by that i mean primarily his lyrics - i feel a strong connection to them, and that makes me feel a connection to the artist they came from… they’re a source of comfort and self expression for me, so that sense of comfort and similarity i get from the lyrics and music automatically extends to the person who made them

but by art i also mean the art/design elements he chooses to connect with his music (merch/ graphic design/ music videos/ lyrics videos/ obvious inspiration materials etc) and his musical/artistic persona (his personal fashion sense, his fashion brand), his overall design aesthetic - its right up my alley and it’s something that i’ve identified with before i even found louis so his being similar to mine is just another layer of why i connect with him

another very important thing to me is his morals, or what i can gauge of his morals from how he conducts himself publicly (both professionally & as much as he chooses to share personally) - i’m a firm believer of NOT separating the art from the artist

one of the reasons i first started to look into louis outside of his music was because of the interactions i saw of him with his fans, these were always so warm and borderline friend group 🥹 and i personally had not seen an artist of his level who treated his fans the way that he does, so that’s something that pulled me in too

and realistically speaking, it’s also the fact that once you become a fan and start to look into “all the content” from his past, you find SO MUCH! so much going back to SO many years, and it gives you this sense of “knowing him” because you see what he was like over so many years, you feel like he’s someone you’ve known for a while… that’s something that you normally don’t get with a lot of other artists because they haven’t in fact been in the public eye for THAT long and their every move hasn’t been documented to the nth (and frankly sometimes unhealthy) degree of detail

stemming from that previous point, it’s also the different layers of fandom content involvement available when it comes to louis - not every artist has active update accounts that report on their literal every move, fashion UAs that document the details of their every outfit, fans who actively gif their public appearances/ music videos/ concert livestreams etc, fans who create art & artistic edits of other types related to the artist, there’s A LOT to consume basically, and doing it amongst a group/community just makes it that much more fun & addictive

and last but definitely not least is the fact that he’s pretty as fuck (like disturbingly), with the most perfect ass known to mankind 🤤 anyone pretending that his looks don’t play a role in why he elicits this level of obsession from fans is lying to themselves and you

any way, i don’t know if this is the kind of response you were looking for but that’s my analysis of it… i honestly could go on and say more on the topic but i think i’ll shut up now

[the-desert-beast]

@aetherblooms HI !! (: your choice!! 💎, ❓, 👑, 💢

👑 - Person who raised your OC and/or was important during their formative years

Maelgwyn; Zefiro was his mentor & older brother figure for years and they're still best friends to this day. Zefiro taught him everything he started with and pulled strings to get maelgwyn on his feet, ready to tame that legendary title he hungered for, for years. Maelgwyn would kill anyone to keep Zefiro safe, he's family. Somewhere in his heart he'd betray the ones closest to him for Zefiro, they're that close. Thankfully nothing will ever come to that.

❓ - Estranged family/relatives they've never met

Louis Ebonpromise: Since he was orphaned very young there's plenty about his biological family he doesn't know and never will. He was too young to remember well, his family were commonfolk, deep in the woods in a small village mostly ignored by divinity's reach. If he ever wanted to find out about his own bloodline it'd be extremely difficult. He has an aunt or uncle, or two, out there somewhere. He'll likely never meet them. Most likely they're living as commonfolk themselves in another village somewhere in kryta, one or two of his unknown relatives is in divinity's reach it's self somewhere.

💎 - Chosen family (including warband)

The Black Wolf Brewery is made up of five misfits who have no one but eachother. Esyld & Iniss founded the syndicate, later taking in the Miyake Siblings and Arlais. Esyld and Iniss woke up, pale tree's children, at similar hours. They became close quickly, finding the other saplings liked the two of them less. They've chosen eachother as sister and brother, through thick and thin they'll suffer it all together, there is no other option. Miyake Yuuji & Kirari are also adopted siblings, yuuji connected with the mists demon "kitsune" quickly. their dynamic is very "one of them is a chaotic demon from another realm entirely and the other is autistic. good luck figuring out which is which" because I loved that idea i think its fun and amusing. They're smarter than they seem. Arlais, much as she hates other people, would never let harm come to the brewery; they pay her too well, and, as she loathes to admit- Iniss & Esyld are an awful lot like the younger siblings she lost years ago. Arlais refuses to ever reconnect to the dream, she has no interest to know if they themselves are the ones she lost. It makes no difference. Iniss and Kirari regard eachother in a very close knit friendship, theyre joined at the hip when yuuji isnt around. it's something like two step siblings that get along just grand. Arlais can stand Esyld, iniss is a close second, and the other two are on thin ice at all times. esyld and arlais share expensive tastes, regarding eachother as powerful equals- independent, equals. Esyld knows arlais has a good chance of betraying them if anyone else with deeper pockets takes notice of her. But they both know that arlais is lying when she says she's only there for the money. Yuuji and Iniss have an estranged little and older brother relationship. it's playful, distant, and neither really understands the other one but they're glad that their sister gets along with the both of them.

💢 - Person they can't stand

Marshal Belial Soulshatter wants to fistfight ryland in a denny's parking lot next question

okay but genuinely? I dont have an answer idk im not a opiniated person until im actually pissed off + all my ocs dont really have enemies or hatred for anyone else. im genuinely racking my brain trying to find an answer.

i have to be forgetting something i said previously.

oh wait i know how i can answer this

Morven and Llacheu despise eachother. Which is very confusing to every one around them because the two only ever choose the other's company. As if their fights, disagreements, so on and so forth, are normal conversation for them. They are not enemies to lovers they are enemies and something very deeply undefined and disorganized. Llacheu can't fucking stand the way Morven looks down it's nose at them. The way it chides them for every single damn mistake. The condescension, it's enough to drive even "the prince of the tree"* mad! *(derogatory nickname given to kynwyl by llacheu.) And Morven regards Llacheu as utterly inept, a true waste of their mother's blessings and inner potential. Spending all of his time in resentment, bitterness, those toothless insults that even a newborn sapling could parry. Llacheu, to it, is a bug that must be studied and picked apart at the seams with every little insult, jab, snide remark, and cold, fixating gaze. They are truly a match made in hell. "they match eachothers freak to a degree that is dangerous to the public."

[suffarustuffaru]

why ottojuli would literally be the most toxic julius ship of all time (arc 8)

ok but i was talking about this recently with @deafknell and @mynameisrobiniamadumbass (a lot of the points in this analysis are due to them and also they really fed my brainrot aldsjflsjdflj so big thanks to them HAH) but julius and otto genuinely would be extremely toxic together. as of arc 8, their uglier traits have come to light, and being in each other’s presence has helped reveal that. (this analysis is also kind of building off my Other arc 8 ottojuli-related analysis here)

** im gonna analyze ottojulis relationship in CANON mainly, but i also analyze the possibility of romantic-leaning julisuba and ottosuba—either way, julisuba and ottosuba, platonic or not, are extremely important to both julius and ottos characters and how they interact with each other as well 👍

to start off—their relationships to subaru are quite literally almost the same dynamic in Very Different fonts. theyre subaru’s two closest male friends around his age, they both debuted in arc 3, got off on the wrong foot with him (julius dueling subaru vs otto pushing subaru off the wagon), but went out of their way to save him (again, julius dueling subaru to prevent him fromt being killed by other knights, otto trying to go back for subaru after pushing him off the wagon in arc 3 + otto in arc 4), and as/once they develop a friendship with subaru, its a tsundere + tsundere relationship where both sides end up bickering and teasing each other to show affection. you could even read julisuba and ottosuba as paralleling relationships—otto is the one being teased + getting flustered most of the time by subaru who is the one being teased + getting flustered most of the time by julius. and subaru brings out different sides to otto and julius too—for julius, he’s learning to gradually let go of his repression and not be so “perfect”… for otto, he’s developed a fixation on subaru, and it brings out More of his uglier traits.

subaru is someone that both julius and otto care deeply about even when subarus actions Repeatedly frustrate and even anger them. but because they care about him, they Want to be more gentle with him in their own ways. julius stays honest and tries to break the news to subaru about louis Without compromising on his own beliefs because its the awful truth that subaru needs to know (on top of trying to aid the emilia camp in vollachia in general). otto on the other hand, hides things from subaru and maneuvers events from behind the scenes for subarus sake. otto didnt plan on telling subaru something along the lines of what julius just said about louis needing to be dead, which is why otto gets pissed when julius flat out just tells the truth—subaru still needed to hear this, sooner or later, bc if he really wants to find a way to keep louis alive, he needs to be aware of the reality of the situation. but otto didnt agree with julius saying this regardless, which is likely bc otto feels julius ruined his plans on how he was going to handle the louis situation and/or otto is mad that julius made subaru upset.

so when otto and julius face each other, they’re strangers. they only know the other person as a friend of a friend (subaru), a merchant vs a knight. but unlike julius, who’s a knight through and through and yet is close to and wholeheartedly supports a merchant, otto is a merchant who’s always had a distaste for knightly ideals, and so HE’S the one who emphasizes this distance between himself and julius. this is even more interesting when you remember that julius, again, is a knight loyal to a merchant, while otto is a merchant who is loyal to a knight (subaru), so theres an interesting dichotomy going on there. but otto cant let go of his own beliefs, so he proceeds to place the same expectations that julius continues being boxed into—julius being the finest knight.

its even more important to remember that because julius’s name was erased, julius absolutely is even more of a stranger to otto. otto couldnt accompany subaru and other emilia camp members to the tower, and otto expressed his disapproval of the decision for them to even go to the tower in the first place (because he doesnt want them heading into danger again). on top of that, julius—a complete stranger—was accompanying them into the tower. ricardo entrusted anastasia to julius—a stranger—which is a decision that otto with all his paranoia could never do. and then julius comes back waltzing into vollachia and otto becomes frustrated.

julius apologizes to otto for interrupting in emilia camp affairs regarding louis, and he thinks otto is upset because he stole ottos role in the situation as internal affairs minister. but otto is really upset because he wouldnt have told subaru what julius just told subaru then about louis, despite the fact that subaru needs to learn this information (that louis will be found guilty by the world and Needs to be punished for her crimes). and julius knows that subaru needs to know this, which is why he said it. and its this misunderstanding between otto and julius that lets otto know, for certain, that julius really is like emilia and subaru. and its this realization about julius—that he walks in the light with otto’s friends—makes otto angry and frustrated and bitter enough to try and punch the wall and break his hand again.

this is also because theres a possibility that otto is jealous of julius. this post is a rarepair analysis too HAH so you could Definitely read it as otto being jealous of julius as well. because ottos anger, frustration, and bitterness towards julius mirrors arc 3 subaru’s behavior towards julius. otto and subaru were both pissed at julius for interfering as an “outsider”, and i think that, like subaru in arc 3, otto is upset at the idea of being left behind in the dust by julius in regards to subaru and emilia. julius is someone who can walk in the light with emilia and subaru, which is something otto cant do, and julius is a strong combatant thats especially useful for vollachia, which is yet another thing otto cant do, and julius agrees with otto on killing louis despite also being idealistic like emilia and subaru, which is something otto cant do. julius can have both—be with emilia and subaru while acknowledging that louis needs to die—and it angers otto, who not only needs to be needed but also is questioning his worth here in vollachia. julius throws a wrench in all of ottos issues and worsens it tenfold, Especially when you remember how similar otto can be to subaru. otto and subaru are stubborn, especially when it comes to their goals and beliefs, prone to sacrificing for the people they care about most, prone to keeping secrets, need to be needed, and question their own worth.

and also the way they get flustered when teased is Similar. theres that too. (which is yet another ottosuba vs julisuba parallel.)

but subaru was jealous of julius, so what about otto? well—otto is someone who might be prone to getting jealous. in an otto’s diary episode of breaktime season two, this happens:

(sorry about the timestamps at the bottom wkdndnd im too lazy to grab new screenshots)

so basically whats happening here is that otto hears emilia gush about subaru and tell stories about subaru to frederica, and otto feels envious listening to this. you could interpret that any way you want, but i think that the implication is that in this moment, otto is envious of emilia and subaru being so close to each other. you could also interpret it as otto being envious of emilia because HE wants to be closer with subaru, which i think is also entirely plausible because in this exact same scene, he notes:

the whole point of ALL otto’s diary episodes in breaktime season two is that otto is writing in his diary about all his experiences in arc 4, many of which involve his developing relationship with subaru. and theres no denying that by the time we get to arc 8, otto is now at LEAST a little bit fixated on subaru (ill go more into this soon). ottos now aware of julius and julius’s close relationship with subaru after all theyve gone through in arc 5 and 6, and so now otto is in direct competition with julius. physically, in terms of the difference in their physical power, politically, in terms of julius being part of the anastasia camp, and emotionally—in terms of julius being so close to subaru and being exactly what otto wants. otto wants to be useful. otto wants to have the power to accomplish his goals. he wants to walk alongside emilia and subaru, but he cant while julius easily can.

another important thing is that the key difference between julius and otto is that julius’s “ugly” traits are Barely even bad, while otto’s are far Worse.

and this is further highlighted by the fact that julius’s development in arc 6 mirrors otto’s current arc in arc 8. julius got so stuck in his head that he kept trying to fight his own idol over and over again, hurting himself repeatedly in the process, trying to prove he was useful because he needed to be needed while no one around him really needed him in the way he wanted. the only person he couldve depended on was subaru—until subaru forgot him. of course julius undergoes some development and subarus memory comes back, but julius still cant rely on others. julius Still depended on, needed, and hes there to help in vollachia while, as i said earlier, otto is questioning why hes even here if he has no use. because julius and otto cant depend on others. theyre depended on by many other people (otto playing a key supporting role to his camp), so theyre not allowed to falter.

but otto is faltering, while julius has managed to pick himself back up again even after arc 6. youd think that out of most people, julius is someone who would be able to understand how otto feels—ottos desperation to prove that he has a reason to be here and his desperation to prove his usefulness—but, as ive mentioned earlier, ottos flaws are glaring now. julius’s flaws are different—the gluttonies mention iirc that he was a little mean to his brother at points, which quite frankly isnt that bad especially when you remember how joshua is as a person + julius is Quite Literally an extremely good person otherwise, and then theres the fact that julius wants louis dead, which. yeah thats completely understandable after what louis did to him and his brother. and he most certainly is far from the only one to want louis dead. julius still has good intentions at heart, and he doesnt mean anything regarding louis lightly. in the ex novels, he feels guilty about balleroy (another enemy that julius fought) dying and wishes it didnt have to turn out this way. this is even more poignant when you remember that balleroy happens to be one of the dead that comes back as a zombie in arc 8. its a physical manifestation of julius’s guilt, and knowing julius, he will/likely does feel at least a little guilty about louis given 1. subaru cares about her and 2. she acts exactly like a little kid now.

as for otto—while being a realist is understandable, hes actively withholding information. he kept the tome secret for a year with the intention of restoring it just so HE can read the information in it and then destroy it afterwards so no one else gets to it. he didnt want to tell subaru that louis will likely need to be dead anyway. he doesnt voice his own desire to kill louis. he doesnt reveal his dps ability to read intent. he doesnt reveal that bc of his dp he knows louis is Innocent now. and other than actively withholding information, he outright says / tries to do things like the following quote:

julius doesnt want to hurt anyone. julius wants to save as many as he can and his last resort is hurting people—such as wanting louis dead. but for otto—if its necessary, no matter how morally wrong it is, he’ll do it for subaru and the emilia camp’s sakes. otto is actively malicious AND manipulative.

which is why i think otto is fixated on subaru. otto has a lot of parallels with arc 3 rem—otto was the second person to die for subaru, and the second person to give subaru an important arc-defining speech to uplift him. otto, like rem, is willing to do anything for subaru. except ottos definition of anything doesnt just mean risking his life for subaru. it also means that ottos willing to sacrifice almost anything and anyone else for subaru. otto in arc 8 straight up thinks this:

“his reason for being was to keep saying that the point of compromise subaru had found was unacceptable”—otto places his reason for existence, his reason for being here in vollachia, his purpose, and the reason why hes Needed, on opposing subaru. on doing the dirty work for subaru.

its interesting, then, that both otto and julius’s fights against gluttony in arc 5 mirror each other. julius loses his name because he gives it in battle. otto figures out how erasing works and instructs everyone else not to say his name. julius is injured by gluttony in that his name is gone. ottos legs are injured by gluttony. and when otto fights ley and julius fights roy respectively, ley impersonates rem and roy impersonates joshua.

i mentioned the otto/rem parallels already, but its poignant that joshua was the one roy chose—not only bc its confirmation to us and julius that joshua got eaten, but also in that joshuas relationship to julius is complicated. joshua hates julius. joshua has this massive inferiority complex regarding julius, because julius can accomplish all these things that joshua wants to accomplish but he cant, and yet joshua keeps this hidden by gaslighting himself and everyone around him by playing up the adoring younger brother to an EXTREME. not that joshua doesnt admire his brother, because joshua does, just that its messily tangled with the envy and resentment—but joshua hides all his feelings behind the adoring younger brother act. to otto, ley appeared as rem—another lover to subaru (apart from emilia of course, along with the fact that otto himself Does love subaru) that otto doesnt know at all and yet parallels heavily. to julius, roy appears as joshua—the brother julius has now forgotten, the brother that resents julius and is jealous of julius in a similar way to julius being jealous of reinhard. julius does parallel joshua, in some way, and he doesnt even know.

and if ottos jealous of julius now, it mirrors joshuas jealousy regarding julius. if you put julius and otto together, theres the potential that julius will unknowingly “ruin” otto in the way that he “ruined” joshua, placing even more pressure on julius while otto and joshua stay in the background, in the shadows, and grow bitter of everyone shining in the light. and as for otto, ive mentioned all the things that julius has above otto already, but heres one more—

you could interpret julisuba as a healthier version of ottosuba.

as ive stated earlier, ottosuba and julisuba have Parallels. and of course, im not saying that julisuba are perfect people either, but the thing about ottosuba is that—like otto as a character—it seems innocent at first. with julisuba, its derogatory at first—subaru is the aggressor and the party in the wrong, while julius is forced to publically beat him and humiliate him in order to save his life. but julisuba later grow a very close bond (with…. quite a lot of homoeroticism HAH). meanwhile with ottosuba its a little Less rough. apart from otto pushing subaru off the wagon in arc 3 (which again, ended in otto dying while he was trying to save subaru bc he regretted what he did), ottosuba stays more in the background until otto takes more action in arc 4. and when we get to know ottosubas developing friendship in arc 4, we agree with otto. otto, who tells subaru that theyre friends, who goes out of his way to help subaru, who snaps some sense into subaru and makes a plan with him to tackle the obstacles in arc 4. but the thing is, we knew ottos flaws from the start. he does whatever necessary to accomplish his goals even if its morally wrong (pushing subaru out of the wagon in arc 3). otto gets mad at subaru for being reckless, grows violent with subaru as a result, and helps subaru in any way he can whether subaru wants it or not (arc 4). but in arc 4, ottosuba seems more like a nice friendship. its a breath of fresh air to see someone go out of their way for subaru like this. and im not saying that ottosuba isnt a great relationship, but by the time we get to arc 8, theyre codependent. otto needs to be needed. otto needs subaru to stay alive and out of more trouble, so otto decides to do whatever it takes to do that. otto gets mad at julius for trying to interfere in that, and otto also gets mad at roswaal and proceeds to assume—in his paranoia and anger—that roswaal only wants otto to be less difficult so its easier for roswaal to complete his own scheming. ottos protective of subaru to the point where you could interpret it as obsessive /possessive.

julius, on the other hand, is honest with subaru, as ive said, about what will likely happen with louis. julius is honest. sincere. he refuses to ever betray his loved ones, but he also refuses to lie to them and be their yes man—because its for their own good. otto is not. otto is willing to lie and play dirty even with his own loved ones if he thinks its for their own good. like joshua, otto hides his true feelings on certain things until it bubbles up to the surface—which is why he ends up punching walls out of anger and stewing in his frustration. julius has morals and ideals that he wouldnt want to cross. julius hates the idea of even hurting people. otto has next to zero reservations about this, if not none. once he deems it necessary, if theres something stopping him from doing it, it definitely wont be himself.

and—just a quick mention of ottos possible jealousy again + julisubas homoeroticism (that is, by the way, acknowledged by canon in the form of reid thinking theyre boyfriends), if you want to interpret ottosuba as romantic as well, you could easily interpret part of ottos anger towards julius being the result of him wanting to be the only man around subarus age whos close to subaru. julius is a direct competitor in that aspect too. because otto is genuinely happy for emisuba, especially when theyre both his friends, so while he did get jealous over them (which is canon, according to ottos diary), he doesnt have a problem with them. meanwhile, julius is a complete stranger to otto that got to accompany subaru to the tower—as the one other guy in the party too, by the way—while otto couldnt because he was injured by ley, who was impersonating rem, another one of subarus romantic interests. otto is already mad that subarus chosen vollachia and louis over ottos desire to just choose their self preservation. julius is salt in the wound because to otto, subaru leaving for the tower kinda looks like subaru chose julius over otto—and then julius came to vollachia and reunited with subaru, which is more salt in ottos wounds.

and if you want to make this more messy, ottos admiration and endearment to subaru can easily be paralleled to julius admiring reinhard. subaru and reinhard already parallel in general, but otto and julius were quite literally pining (platonic or otherwise) for subaru and reinhard before those two even recognized otto and julius as friends. make of that what you will.

so additionally—like how julius could “ruin” otto, otto could “ruin” julius. julius can beat otto in a physical fight without breaking a sweat. but unlike subaru, otto has no morals holding him back and hes absolutely capable of figuring out how to beat julius psychologically. otto also has no problem using julius if he really needed to. additionally, if you happened to put otto in a situation where he had julius’s life in his hands and he could get away scot-free with just killing julius—theres a good chance that otto could go ahead with it to remove julius as a threat + cripple anastasia substantially. and, like subaru, otto is capable of really Testing julius’s patience. if you forced them together for long enough with the way their characters are in arc 8, julius very well could snap. julius and otto are both characters whove been dealing with a bunch of shit and are growing tired of it, especially julius. otto may be more volatile in comparison, but julius of course is only human and will crack a bit under the pressure. because otto would place all these standards on him that julius is always cursed to have—ottos already done that in arc 8 by just referring to julius as a knight and therefore his enemy. and thats on top of otto and julius’s relationships to subaru making this Already Complicated.

and if subaru saw two of his closest friends fighting like this, all three of them would be Very Upset about it.

regardless, anastasia camp and emilia camp relations in general are fascinating because at this point, with ottos whole Thing against the ana camp, julius + his friendships to emilia and subaru, and garf and mimi, the two factions are closely connected now. julius and otto though? yeah theyre a powder keg of a rarepair bc i think theyd end up strangling each other wkndjdndjd. and what i mean is that as a rarepair, julius and otto and subaru are in the weirdest most fucked love triangle of all time right now HAH.

also in this scenario—when anastasia finds out about otto messing with julius, otto is not gonna be safe.

[pwblogarchive]

September 2007

September 11, 2007

“folie a duex”

sometimes the planets align

sometimes they dont

its like how part of my childhood was stolen when they took planetary status away from pluto

well be there one day

honestly i dont mind you saying fuck you to me-

when you included the "horse you rode in on"

it kind of went to hell

i am sick- like i cant ever get enough sleep or time or words

as this thing grows i become more and more insecure.

cant look anyone in the eyes-

i am paranoid- worried sick that i am not good enough for anyone who looks at me

i know how ridiculous this sounds

trust me

the new video makes me feel the big black sadness

folie a deux is the idea of shared madness- the scientific term for romeo and juliet

i have a feeling that we share that with eachother when you have your headphones on

currently working on: taking it easy-

dont mean to be so heavy just want you to know why i look so gray sometimes lately.

September 14, 2007

after the pornstar john holmes career deflated he turned to showing up at LAX and stealing peoples bags off of the conveyor belt.

i watched someone do this to me at the airport today.

i am obsessed with the change that can turn in the world.

that is what our new video is about.

why was every question about 'how bad is britneys performance gonna be' and not about anything that truly matters in this world.

sometimes the message is more important than the art.

later on we will release a remixed version that includes more of our personal experience in africa.

for now i am content to see the love between these two and the way the civil war that rages around them affects it.

its hard to imagine that they are just like the kids that show up at our shows, only born in a different country...

vintage louis vuitton bags under the eyes

the marlbo-glow

i need him more than he needs me, he needs her more than he needs me and so on.

theres nothing new under the sun

but were reading on existentialism in the shade.

i am so in love with YOU and the idea of YOU listeing to the music and singing the words.

i know its weird but i like to imagine what you are thinking when its playing.

if it werent for that i am not sure where i would turn.

i guess this is another halfhearted thank you. just because you keep tuning in.

"dont you think its insane how donald duck never wears pants?"

life is better when youre around.

but yes i do think its insane.

September 22, 2007

eyes the size of the moon.

iron and wine "the trapeze swinger"

Posted by xoat 1:35 AM

September 26, 2007

isnt it ironic how "ironic" has no ironies in it

havent slept in days.

think i am starting to crack.

my room is thrashed, covered in matter that doesn't matter and i almost cried while watching garden state- i think its not funny anymore.

sick of watching what genius is.

sometimes genius is being completely ordinary.

when i look up at the sky i want to eat the stars.

its daylight again, everything goes back to being boring.

nothing too much to say. just gonna watch the world spin this

Posted by xoat 1:17 AM

September 28, 2007

i dont know if has been apparent or not but in the past year or so i have become so insecure its insane. it blows my mind everytime i leave the house i feel weird. strange. i feel like everything i do ruins something of my friends or my band or the songs i love. i feel like i am constantly on the defense, like i have to work so hard just to make people not hate me that i am not even myself. i havent been able to look the front row of the crowd in the eyes and hide in the back most of the time because i am so insecure with myself.

but for some reason tonight that all changed. the show tonight i connected. i felt the electricity. the light came back on. it felt so good. thank you to all that were there.

sorry. not trying to be a downer or a "poor me" kind of thing, its just been a weird adventure. it feels good to plug back in. this journal entry was one i wrote a year ago this week when i think i was pretty sure id die at age 27 (glad i didnt):

"i couldnt stay away.

the words are obsession and always have been.

heartache lite. diet love.

i am a catch and release boy.

kind of.

put summer in a pine box.

i went to sleep in june and woke up in the middle of september.

making out on stretchers, getting some in the back of an ambulance.

my hips are dry docked.

love is incidental.

the best verus the rest.

'they wipe their feet on our dreams'.

ive got 27 years hiding in the smile wrinkles of my eyes. the real ones and the fake ones take up the same space in the skin.

noone gives a fuck about eyes that are always leaking.

besides youre just hushing headboards that are always creaking.

its become apparent that there may be no one thinking of you the way i do at this very moment.

were "out of the woods"

but i am in love with the tree i used to lie under.

eyes green with envy or brown and full of shit.

or somewhere in between.

i want this to be a remix of our nighttimes."

the smiles lately have all been real. except sometimes its hard to smile when theres a camera in your fae and your just trying to get through the day. gonna try to fuck up less. nothing poetic about it: maybe things are about to get better, maybe theyre gonna get darker. i am in love with everything that is broken and sometimes i like it that whats broken is in love with me. forever kids are magnets for eachother.

anyway, finally got the chance to catch up on my insomnia and read a bunch of your letters. they keep my head straight when i get it cloudy. thanks for sticking it out with me- not like as some guy on a stage- but as an honest connection. it means alot.

ok back to being negative and pouty.

sleep tight or have a good day.

[perfectlywrongformend3s]

Starstruck- Louis Partridge x Reader

Hey! I had a request. that's actually an idea that you can use if you like it :) ok so it can be a louispxreader and the reader is a singer. they meet in a Ceremony and they become friends and maybe after a while they fall for each other and confess? you can change it however you want it. thanks <3

Requested: Yes

Word Count: 2943

Warning: Just lots of fluff

Taglist: @girlincrimson

A/n: Sorry for not getting to you sooner. I am going to try to get out imagines and request as best I can this week. I am booked with work all week this week. Also requests are open.

I changed a little bit of it, but most of it is still the same as you requested.

P.s The songs that I will be using are not mine, they belong with the talented writers and their respectful owners.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your POV

I was in my dressing room waiting to be called to go on stage when I got a notification from instagram. I saw that the actor Louis Partridge followed me. I decided to do some stalking and found some really interesting photos and pictures of him. While I was looking at this one photo of him getting his makeup done I accidentally liked the photo. I then immediately started panicking, because I didn't mean to like it. Before I could do anything about it, I was called to go on stage.

I grabbed my guitar and slowly made my way up to the front of the stage. I could feel the excited energy rising off the fans that came to the show tonight. I felt a smirk form on my face when the lights came on. I heard all the fans start screaming, which made me let out a little giggle into the microphone.

“ How is everyone doing tonight!” I shouted into the mic

I laughed at how everyone was screaming again. I decided to start off with my most popular song right now. I started playing the chords to my song ‘ Good 4 you’

“ Ah. Well, good for you, I guess you moved on really easily. You found a new girl and it only took a couple weeks. Remember when you said that you wanted to give me the world? (Ah-ah-ah-ah)”

I then made the crowd sing along with me.

“ Well, good for you. You look happy and healthy. Not me. If you ever cared to ask.”

I let the crowd scream the lyrics while I continued to play the guitar. I then grabbed the microphone and screamed..

“ Well, good for you, I guess you’re gettin’ everything you want. (Ah) You brought a new car and your career’s really takin’ off (Ah) It’s like we never even happened.”

While singing, I walked up the front and held the microphone close to them and let them scream the lyrics.

I then jumped in with them.

“ Person who ever got you? Well, screw that and screw you. You will never have to hurt the way you know that I do.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Louis POV

I was on the set of Enola Holmes when my phone buzzed indicating that I got a notification. I pulled it out to find the most famous singer I was in love with and liked one of my photos. I was just staring at my screen when my phone got snached out of my hand.

“ Ooh, what’s got you blushing like that? It looks like you turned into a very red tomato.” I heard Millie speak

I watched her face change from teasing to super shocked. I still felt shocked.

“ What! How?” She spits out

I shrugged my shoulders in response. Millie then gave me a playful glare. “ What do you mean you don’t know?”

I gave Millie a look of confusion. “ Millie, I just don’t know how she found my account. I mean I follow her but I don’t think she would ever follow me.”

She just nodded her head and handed my phone back. I then slid it into my pocket before we had to go back to our scene together.

Your POV

I was getting closer to the end of my new song so I went back to my microphone stand and put the mic back in its place before lowering my voice.

“ Maybe I’m too emotional, But your apathy’s like a wound in salt. Maybe I’m too emotional, or maybe you never cared at all. Maybe I’m too emotional, Your apathy is like a wound in salt.” I started leaning into my microphone and started getting my voice ready to shout soon. “ Maybe I’m too emotional, or maybe you never cared at all.” I then let the crowd sing the chorus until I shouted into the mic “ LIKE A DAMN SOCIOPATH!” I heard the crowd scream loud when I did that so I let out a giggle before continuing my song.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was now sitting down on my stool that one of my band mates brought over for me. I was strumming my acoustic guitar on my lap to my next song while talking to my fans.

“ How is everyone doing tonight?”

I got back a bunch of screams and I even heard some responses back which made me smile. “ Alright guys the show is wrapping up soon-” Before I could continue I heard the crowd “ Aww” in response. “ You guys are funny, but I have had such an amazing time hanging out and singing for you guys. I just want to let you know I have about two more songs for you guys. So the first song I want to play for you guys is ‘ Happier’ and then the last and final song of the night is going to be' ‘Good Boy’’.”

I gave the crowd a smile before going back to playing the chords to my song ‘ Happier’

I got closer to the mic and sang the first words…

“ We broke up a month ago.Your friends are mine, you know I know. You’ve moved on, found someone new. One more girl who brings out the better in you. And I thought my heart was detached. From all the sunlight of our past. But she’s so sweet, she’s so pretty, Does she mean you forgot about me?”

I then stop singing for a little while with a small frown on my face before looking up to find the crowd with their phone lights out. I gave a small smile before going back to a frown. I then sang..

“ Oh, I hope you’re happy, But not like how you were with me. I’m selfish, I know, I can’t let you go. So find someone great, but don’t be happier.”

I then pointed for the crowd to take over the singing for a little bit while I played the chords.

Louis POV Millie and I just finished our last scene of the movie so we had to change out of our outfits and head to the place where we were meeting the rest of the cast and crew members for a one last dinner event.

I was the last to arrive as per usual, so we all laughed it off before having a great time with each other before heading off in different directions.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once I was back to my house I fell into my bed and layed there for quite some time. I got interrupted with a text message, so I grabbed my phone and said Millie sent me a link to something. Without thinking I clicked on it and saw that it was a video of Y/n singing one of her popular songs. I smiled while watching it due to my huge crush on her, if I ever met her in real life I probably would pass out in front of her.

Your POV

After I sang my last line of my last song I yelled into the mic…

“ I LOVE YOU LONDON! SEE YOU REAL SOON AGAIN!”

I then ran off stage and headed to my dressing room to pack my things to then get on my toru bus that will take me to my hotel that I was staying at. While I was sitting on the bus I decided to post a couple of my pictures I took and put them on my instagram page. After I did that I then decided to stalk that actor I saw on my feed.

‘Time Jump’

It was one of the most important days of my life because I was nominated for an award at the Grammys. So I was with my make up team and someone was helping me with my outfit also. It was a simple but fashionable dress with some simple black high heel shoes.

Third Person POV

Louis was heading to the Grammy’s because of his new movie getting picked for one of the categories, but Y/n also got a nomination for Top artist, and album of the year. The both of them were so close to seeing each other in real life and they didn’t expect each other to be so starstruck.

Louis’s POV

I was walking around the red carpet with Millie when she got asked to do an interview so I stood back and waited for her to be done. While I was waiting I heard a familiar laugh being heard only a couple of feet ahead of me. I then snapped my head into the direction to find the one and only Y/n Y/l/n laughing with the person interviewing her. It took me a little while to process everything that was going around me because I could only see her in the room. I felt my heart start beating faster and felt my hands start shaking a little bit.

Millie’s POV

I was finally done with my interview when I saw Louis staring at something so I followed his eyes and saw him staring at Y/n. I felt a smirk form on my lips and pulled him over to her with all the strength I had in me.  I heard him telling me to stop but I didn’t listen since I waited to meet her too.

Your POV

I was talking to someone when I felt a gentle tap on my shoulder which made me turn my head. I saw a teenage girl and a teenage boy behind me, so I smiled before giving them my attention.

“ Hi, I’m Millie Bobby Brown and this is my friend Louis Partridge.”  she said

“ Hi, Are you guys fans? Also, are you guys by any chance actors in this movie called Enola Holmes?” I questioned

Millie looked at me shocked and nodded her head. I gave her a smile before holding my arms out to give her a hug. I felt her wrap her arms around me. “ I am such a big fan of your music and I could say the same for him back there too.”

I let out a giggle before releasing her and looked behind her to find Louis just staring. I walked over to him and gently put my hand on his shoulder which made him jump. I raised an eyebrow “ Are you good?” He then just gave me a nod. I turned my head due to hearing Millie speak.

“ He was just in shock. He's in love with you.”

Louis’s POV

I felt my face getting hotter by the minute and glared at Millie. She gave me an innocent look and smirked before walking off and leaving me with Y/n. I saw her turn around and smile at me.

“ So in love with me.” She teased

I gave out a chuckle before scratching the back of my neck and looking back at her. I was about to answer her but someone told us to head to the seats to hear the winners. I watched her walk away and smiled before heading to my seat next to Millie.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once the awards were over I decided to search for Y/n before leaving to head back to my hotel room. I saw her getting hugs from people so I stood back.

Your POV

I smiled at everyone and turned due to feeling eyes on me. I saw Louis and smiled at him. I walked over to him and gave him a hug and whispered. “ Congrats on your award.” I felt his breath on the side of my neck and heard him doing the same to me. I then pulled back due to hearing my name and slipped a piece of paper to him before kissing the side of his cheek.

Third Person POV

Louis stood there with a shocked expression again. He then looked down at the piece of paper to find her number and a message that said ‘ call me’. He then felt himself smile before heading back to his hotel to rest up.

‘Time Jump’

Y/n was chilling in her apartment writing a song when she heard her phone ring. She picked it up to find an unknown number, but just answered it hoping it would be Louis.

“ Hello?” she said with caution

“ Hi” she heard him say

Which made her let out a little giggle. “ I thought you would never call me.” she responded with. Louis chuckled on the other end. “ Yea, sorry about that. I was a little scared to call you.” Before he could say anything else he heard giggles coming from the other end of the line.

“ Why Louis?” Louis thought hard about what his next response was going to be because he didn’t want to straight up say because we were meant to be together or I was just scared of rejection. Louis finally decided to just ask..

“ Y/n.” he took a pause “ I was wondering if you would like to go out to dinner with me?”

Your POV

I let out a gasp when I heard those words and started nodding but forgetting he couldn't see me so I said..

“ Ofcourse, I will go out with you, Louis.”

Then we just chatted about our days for the rest of the day.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The day my date with Louis came so quickly then I could have blinked and I was not prepared. I ran all over my house looking for things to finish off my outfit before it was time to go.

I heard a knock on my door indicating that he was here so I slipped on my heels and carefully made my way to the door. Once I opened it I was met with those hazel eyes that I fell in love with.

“ Wow, you look stunning.” he said

I felt myself start blushing. I then took in his look and stated that… “ Well you look really handsome.”

He then held his hand out for me to take. “ My lady,” he said in his accent, which made me let out a small giggle.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We were coming up to the end of the date already. He took me to this beautiful restaurant where we are now sharing a piece of cake. I saw him staring at me so I questioned him.

“ What?”

He let out a soft chuckle. “ Nothing, you're just really beautiful looking under this light.”

I felt myself start to blush which made me look down. Before I knew it I felt two fingers lift it back up. “ Don’t look down, you're gorgeous when you get all flustered.” That only made me blush harder. “ Stop.” I said giggling which made him chuckle.

Before I knew it we were back in his car driving back to my place. I was looking out the window when I felt him put his hand on my leg, which sent chills all over my body. I then put my hand on top of his and intertwined our fingers together. I smiled at the thought of us going on more dates.

Louis’s POV

I pulled into her driveway and parked my car. I turned to face her when I saw her already looking at me. I then released her hand and got out of the car to go to her side and open it for her. I walked her to her door where we both stood there for a little while. I then took a risk and leaned forward. I could feel her breath on me, I then closed the gap between us. I could feel her smile into the kiss before I felt her wrap her arms around the back of my neck. I wrapped my arms around her waist to pull her in to me more. She pulled away but kept her forehead against mine.

“ I really like you Louis.” She whispered against my lips

I smiled and said, “ I really like you too Y/n.”

I then leaned in again to give her another goodnight kiss before heading off. I walked over to my car and got in, I then waved at her with a smile on my face and pulled out of the driveway.

Third Person POV

Y/n watched Louis drive off into the distance. She felt a smile creep on her face before heading inside to dream about her date with him. Louis felt the same as her. He felt all giddy inside and he could help but smile at the thought of her. He was already planning the next date for them to go on together.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Man this is long, but it was worth it because I got major butterflies from writing this for you. I hope you enjoy and if you would like more Louis then comment and I definitely write more of him.

-Samantha

[thestarrynightslover]

I'll Make It Okay for You - Part 1

Pairing: Harvey Specter x Reader

Word count: 3,666

Warnings: Discussion, yelling, some angst, mentions of drugs, and drug abuse. 

Summary: What happens when (y/n) (y/l/n), Harvey’s secret crush and a junior partner at his firm, openly defies him in front of everyone?

You can find Part 2 here.

Disclaimer: I don’t own the show Suits, or its characters, also not associated with it in any way or know anyone involved with it.

A/N: So, this is my first Harvey Specter fic and I’m obviously quite unsure about it, lol. This might’ve ended up like one big mess, cause I tried to combine a bunch of Harveys I wanted to see. The perfect recipe for disaster, right? Anyways, I hope it doesn’t suck too bad and, please, feel free to give me feedback, cause I’m also here to learn!!

(y/n) = (your name) (y/l/n) = (your last name) (y/n/n) = (your nickname)

| masterlist |

You’d barely stepped out of the elevator when you were met by your secretary that morning. That couldn’t mean anything good.

“Morning, (y/n/n). You’ve got an emergency meeting with Jessica today. Gonna give you the schedule on the way there.” Lucy stated, leading you on the opposite way to Jessica’s office.

“Oh, I got the memo; company’s under attack again. She wants me on the frontlines this time. Louis is probably running around saying ‘We’re at war, people, war!!!’, or something like that. But why aren’t we headed towards the boss’ office?”

“Apparently, uh, she wants y’all to convey at Harvey’s office.” She said hesitantly, as if afraid of your reaction.

“Are you kidding me? It’s the first hour of the morning and she wants me to go see that smug face of his?” You pouted childishly.

“Smug and hot, you mean.” Lucy corrected you, getting an outraged look from you in response, as she usually would by saying anything positive about Specter.

“Shush,” You said, motioning for her to stop talking, “ one shall not praise Harvey Annoying Specter around me.” You stated full of obstination, but the younger woman just laughed you off and said:

“Well, here we are. I guess I’ll just have to send you an e-mail with your schedule, since, once again, we spent our schedule minutes of the day talking about “the enemy”.” She mocked with gestures and everything this time. That Lucy really was a piece of work, she timed the whole thing perfectly, in a way that you couldn’t even repudiate her insinuations because you were already standing in front of Specter’s office door.

Not long after you had entered and Jessica had officially started the strategy-meeting, though, all eyes in the room turned to you, as your phone started ringing in your back pocket. "Shit! I'm- I'm so sorry, guys, I guess I-"

"Can you please take your job seriously for once in your life, (y/l/n)?" You heard Harvey Pain-In-The-Ass Specter rudely remark, as you tried to swallow your embarrassment.

“Well, like I was trying to say, I’m sorry. Gonna turn it off right now, won’t happen again.” You said, directing your apologetic look to Jessica.

“You should just go ahead and answer it, could be something important.” She calmly told you.

“Especially now that you’ve already interrupted our work.” Specter chipped in again, which just gave you more fuel to answer the goddamn phone.

“Hello, yeah this is her.” You confirmed to the man on the phone, while taking a few steps towards the corner of the room. “What??? Are you sure? Oh my God! O- okay, just tell me which one and I’ll be there as soon as possible! Right, thank you.” Everyone’s eyes were on you, trying to understand what made you look so distressed. Except his, of course.

“Wait a second. Are you leaving right now?” He asked with a mix of annoyance and irritation in his voice.

“Yes, I am. I’m sorry, Jessica, but this is a family emergency. I have to go.”

“Well, I just hope you know that this doesn’t look good for you, (y/n).” She said, voice inexpressive.

“I do and, honestly? I couldn’t care less about that right now.” You firmly told her, while hoping your career wasn’t over by the next morning.

“I hope everything goes well for you and your family, (y/n). If you need anything, and I mean anything, just let me know.” Louis told you with that childish smile of his. Jesus, even in a moment like this, he tried to flirt with you.

“Thank you, Louis. That’s very kind.” You faked a tiny smile.

“Unbelievable.” 

“What?” You asked, turning back to face Harvey.

“Your firm is under attack and you’re leaving because of some stupid family crap?” Was he even serious?

“Precisely. And I don’t really care what your thoughts are on it. Our priorities are clearly very different.” Who the hell did he think he was to say anything about your family’s issues?

“Well, that shouldn’t matter because, the minute you walk in here, through those elevators out there, you’re supposed to leave all things personal behind.”

“Oh, right. I’m so sorry that I’m not some heartless lawyer like you, who’s just in it for the petty fights in the name of money-making.” Shit. You needed to get the hell out of there before you said something else to make Specter wanna kick you out himself. So you did. Stormed out like there was no tomorrow, leaving nothing but the very shocked Donna, Jessica, Louis, Mike, and Rachel behind. Oh, yeah, and a very pissed-off Harvey Specter.

Okay, maybe you were a little too harsh, but given the place you needed to go, to do what you needed to do, you didn't care about Harvey, your job, or anything else.

---

It was much later on that same day, around dinner time, that you heard a soft knock on your door. But how could someone be at your door, if the doorman downstairs hadn't announced any visitors? Were you dreaming? Well, the day had been so tiring that that wasn't exactly impossible… Nonetheless, you made your way to the door, whilst holding your very needy three-year-old nephew in your arms. Not that you could blame Henry after the day he’d had.

Since you weren’t expecting anyone, it was reasonable to believe that, whoever it was, was going to be a surprise. But not in a million years would have you ever guessed that Harvey Specter was the one knocking at your door. Especially considering what had happened at the firm earlier. How did he even know your address?

“Hi, (y/l/n). I didn’t know you had a kid.” He stated with a bit of surprise of his own, pointing to the little boy you were carrying.

“No, uh, I don’t have any.” You managed to say, trying to control your shocked expression. “This is my nephew.” You clarified again, a little more at ease this time.

“My name’s Henry. What’s yours?” You heard your nephew ask with his cute child-voice.

“Harvey. It’s, uh, it’s very nice to meet you, Henry.” Harvey told the boy, holding out his hand for him to shake, as a sweet smile came to his lips.

“Is he your friend, auntie (y/n/n)?” Henry asked you hesitantly, before making a move. The Don’t Talk to Strangers Rule must’ve kicked in his mind. 

Before answering him, you hesitated a little bit yourself, though. Was Harvey your friend? Obviously not, but if he came to your apartment in the middle of the night like this, it was probably because of something important. Work-related, of course. Which meant you’d have to let him in, so you settled for what would be the easiest classification for a three-year-old.

“Yeah, bud, he is my friend from work.” Hearing that, something in Specter’s eyes changed, you didn’t really know what, though.

“Well, then, can he come play with us?” He gave you such a cute look, that you almost said yes right on cue. But you obviously couldn’t. 

“You’d have to ask him, but I’m sure he has a lot of other, more important, things to do now.” You tried to explain to the little boy, giving Harvey a look. But you didn’t get too far, as the lawyer quickly said:

“Of course I wanna go play with you! That is if your auntie’s okay with that…” Now he was mocking you, that was the only explanation.

“Can we play with him, then, auntie (y/n/n)? Please, please, please?” God, what horrible thing could’ve you possibly done to deserve this particular punishment?

“Um, I guess... If he really has nothing better to do-” Harvey didn’t even let you finish your sentence.

“I really don’t.” He said, shooting you and Henry a bright smile that you’d never seen before.

“Okay, then, come in. Please disregard the mess, I got this stuff to make dinner, but someone just won’t detach, right, mister?” You asked your nephew with fake annoyance in your voice, as you tickled his sides a little bit. He just laughed at you. Though what really caught your attention was the fact that Harvey, too, was chuckling lightly at the scene, as he started picking up your groceries’ bags from the floor. “What are you doing?”

“Helping you, what else?” You gave him a weird look because, well, it was a weird situation. Maybe he noticed your discomfort because he added: “You look tired, so I’ll help you by making dinner and putting the rest of these away.”

“You’re kidding, right?” There was no way in hell that the All-Mighty Harvey Specter was gonna get domestic for you, of all people. Since he didn’t bother to answer, you went on: “First of all, what was it that you really came here to do, hum? And, second, I don’t need your help with anything.” Normally you tried to be kind to everyone, but, then again, Specter wasn’t exactly your normal kind of guy.

“Well, first of all,” he started in a tone of mockery, “that was rude! Look at the example you’re setting for little Henry!” Oh God, as much as you hated to admit it, he was kinda right, because you had completely forgotten about the little boy still cradled in your arms. “Second, we can talk about the reason why I came here later,” after your nephew’s asleep, was implicit in his speech, “third, it looks like you do need some help. And, for your luck, I happen to be a very good cook when I want to.”

“But-” You could barely begin your sentence, as Harvey sharply cut you off:

“You see, buddy,” he started, motioning to Henry this time, “the quicker we get your auntie on board with the game plan, the quicker we’ll get to eat and go play together!” Son of a bitch! Using a child to get to you…

“Can we please, auntie? Please?” How could you not crack after that pleading?

“Fine, but I swear I’ll make you pay if we wake up with food poisoning tomorrow, Specter.” You told him playfully, trying to lighten the mood after all of your bluntness.

“Oh, trust me, (y/l/n), you won’t. This will be the best meal you and the young man here will ever have in your entire lives.” He said cockily, but without the usual arrogance level, if that even makes sense.

A few hours and a really great dinner later, you and Henry couldn’t help but snicker shamelessly at Harvey’s ridiculous faces, as the three of you played a game on your living room’s floor. Trying to catch your breath from your giggles, you glanced up at the clock and realized that it was way too late for your nephew to be out of bed like that. So you broke up the game, announcing:

“It’s bedtime for you, Mr. Henry.” You watched the faces of the pair turn into ones of pure disappointment, as they prepared to pout.

“Just a little longer, auntie (y/n/n)! please!” The little boy started.

“Yeah, auntie, just a little longer! Please?” This time it was the grown man, one of the toughest Wall Street lawyers.

“As moved as I am by your synchrony, guys, the answer is a big no. C’mon, bud, let’s go brush your teeth. And then straight to bed. So say bye to Harvey, and thank him for being so nice to us tonight.” He looked between you and Specter as if still hoping for a hail Mary of some sort.

“Bye, Harvey.” He sounded so sad, but then he smiled brightly again, as he repeated what you’d told him to say word by word: “And thank you for being so nice to us tonight.” Hearing that, both you and Harvey chuckled lightly at the young boy, who quickly added: “Will you come see us tomorrow too?”

“Uh, we’ll, uh, we’ll see about that, okay, little man?” He tried to let Henry down slowly but, watching the boy’s expression become a sad one instantly, he added: “It’s just because both your auntie and I have a lot of work ahead of us tomorrow, but I’ll do my best, okay?” That was definitely a side of Harvey you’d never seen before, he had even bent down to be on your nephew’s level.

“Okay.” Henry said quietly, seeming to be a little happier, too.

“Okay, then let’s just go upstairs already.” You took the boy’s hand to guide him towards the spare bedroom’s bathroom, all the while shooting Specter a look that told him to wait for you a little longer.

“I’ll wait for you down here.” He said, proving he understood what your eyes tried to transmit.

So you headed upstairs with your nephew and, after a good fifteen minutes of brushing Henry’s teeth, helping him into his PJs, and tucking him in, you finally managed to come back to the living room, where you found Harvey looking through some of your photos displayed on the sideboard. For a minute or two, you just watched him. It wasn’t that you liked what you saw or anything. It wasn’t. It was more like postponing the weird conversation you two were bound to have, because, after all that had happened in those few hours, the atmosphere was, at very least, a strange one. But, almost as if he’d felt your gaze on his back, the lawyer in him was switched on, and he interrupted your thoughts by saying:

“Ah, you’re back. Good, because we need to talk.” You just motioned for him to follow you into your home office. But both you and Harvey looked so informal to be in that kind of environment, that you just indicated the small couch on the wall opposite to your desk for you to take your seats in.

“So, uh, before you even say anything, I wanna thank you for being so kind tonight,” a small smile came to your lips, as you remembered, not only the evening but how your nephew had used almost those exact same words, already imitating you, a little earlier. Specter smiled too, you noticed. “and I also wanna apologize. If you came here to talk to me… I must’ve made you waste a lot of time, huh?” You tried with a half-smile this time, as embarrassment started taking over you.

“What? No, of course not! I'm pretty sure that I told you I didn't have anything better to do, didn't I?" He calmly asked with a smile.

"Yeah, but I'm not buying it. You're Harvey Specter, isn't that what you're always saying? And Harvey Specter always has something better to do, isn't that right?" You shot back in a mockery tone, regaining your confidence.

"Well, maybe. But, not today. So don't apologize, and don't thank me. I'm the one who should be thanking you, I had a really good time tonight." Okay, now you were shocked. He had a good time?

"Uh, okay, um, so... What was so urgent that you had to come here in the middle of the night?" You nervously ranted, while tugging your hair behind your ears. He just stared at you, so much so that you almost repeated your question.

"Um, yeah, about this morning… That's why I came here…" You were already guessing that that would come up eventually, but it was the topic of your conversation? "I know that you and I always had our differences, and maybe even some rivalry-"

"Some rivalry? Dude, I'm just a junior partner, and ever since I started on that firm you've been persecuting me-"

"I wouldn't say persecuting…"

"Oh, you wouldn't?"

"Not since you made junior partner anyways. Now it's just a healthy rivalry between work friends…" He tried to use what you’d told your nephew earlier. 

"Oh, so you do admit you were persecuting me when I was an associate, huh?"

"Shit." He muttered quietly, as you watched him with a victory smile on your lips. "You know what? Hell yeah, I did persecute you when you were an associate." Hearing that blunt admission of guilt, you just couldn't find anything to say. “You wanna know why? I did that because, from the first time I saw you doing your job, I saw this very thing that I see now: you kicking ass, you think I wanted to admit this to you? I’ll answer it myself: no, I didn’t. The only reason why it happened is that you led me to it.” He blurted out, completely knocking you off your socks.

“So, um, you treated, you treat me like shit because, um, because I’m good?” You asked, still unsure of what to think about his confession.

“Well, that was part of it, sure. So, you see, I could understand it when you weren’t particularly thrilled at the perspective of working with me. But, this morning, you said that I’m a heartless guy who only cares about money… Is that really what you think of me?” This time he sounded genuinely sad? When Harvey said that he’d come to your apartment to talk about that morning, you thought he was gonna reprimand the shit out of you for disrespecting him ⎯ your sort of boss, a senior partner ⎯, but, apparently, he was asking about it on a more personal level. A level you’d never really thought played a part in your relationship with him.

“Oh, Harvey…”

“Be honest, please. I don’t want your pity. You don’t even know me all that well, so don’t try to minimize anything. I can take it.”

“That’s not what I was gonna do. And, trust me, you’re probably the last person in the world I’d pity.” You told him with a sly smile. “You’re right. I don’t know you all that well. Or, at least, I didn’t this morning. But I do know that you’re not heartless. Also, I was really out of line then, I’ve seen you fighting tooth and nail for a lot more than just money in that firm. You’re loyal to your firm and friends like no one else and, tonight, I watched you sitting on the floor and playing with a little boy. And, trust me, that meant more to him than you’d ever know, especially after today… Anyways, what I’m really trying to say is that I was so damn wrong and that I’m sorry. I’d gotten some pretty nerve-racking news beforehand, not that that’s an excuse but...” You told him, meaning every word and trying hard to show how much you regretted your previous actions.

“Wait, what news?”

“Ah, it’s nothing for you to worry about, really.” You tried to brush him off.

“Oh, c’mon! You said all those nice things about me, but when it comes to your life and your problems you still don’t trust me, isn’t that right?” His tone was sharply inexpressive, but his eyes showed he was actually hurt.

“What are you talking about? Oh my God, Harvey! I’ve relied on you for a number of cases that I really cared about! I let you in on my apartment! I let you spend an entire night around my nephew! Of course, I trust you!”

“Then what the hell is the problem? You think I’m not gonna give a damn about your family issues? Is that it? Because I am literally begging you to tell me about them!”

“I don’t wanna tell you because I don’t want you, or anyone else on the firm, to think that I’m some pathetic little girl who uses her family issues as an excuse to get out of a tough fight.” You confessed in a lower tone, slightly embarrassed, just hoping he would understand and stop poking. “Things are very different when you’re a woman, you know…”

“I would never think that about you. Family is important. Especially if it’s made of people like Henry…” He said, reassuring you, even though there was a hint of sadness in his voice. “Besides, you said you trust me, so you need to trust me when I say that I wouldn’t betray you by telling people about your problems. I’m not here as your boss, (y/n). I just wanna help you.” He sounded so sincere and, if you were being honest with yourself, you kinda really needed to vent.

“Okay, um, where to start? I have two sisters: Henry’s mother, Kat, and a fifteen-year-old, Lisa. I’m the older one of all three of us. Lisa’s sick, like very sick, so my parents, who are both retired, are with her at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, to try and get her better. In the meantime, Kat was supposed to go to college, as well as care for her son, between my parents and me, she wouldn’t even need to provide for them or anything. But, a while ago, she overdosed for the first time. That’s when we found out about her addiction. We’ve already tried a million different things but nothing works. So, my parents and I threatened to make her lose her parental rights over Henry, hoping that it’d be a wake-up call for her, but it backfired. She just took the boy and disappeared, then today I get that call, from the police department, saying that she was in custody for drug distribution and endangering the well-fare of a minor. They asked me to go pick my nephew and, maybe, get Kat a lawyer.” And, just like that, you’d told Harvey Specter, of all people, everything. Tears rolling down your cheeks and him pulling you into a hug.

If anyone had told you that that was how your night was gonna go, you would have definitely laughed them out of the room. But now, just sitting there, being held and caressed by Harvey, as you let your armor down, it was finally beginning to look like things were gonna be okay. 

[kenmas-consoles]

Hello honey! I hope you don't mind me requesting something with this topic but my father told me today that I should kill myself just because I bleached my hair and then that I should care about other's opinion and not my own so can I request how would William react to his s/o saying this to him? If you don't feel comfortable writing this it's fully okay, I understand 🤍 Thank you in advance though 🤍

Pairing: William Moriarty x Reader

Summary: You bleach your hair and your father disapproves and says harsh words that lead you crying and William is there to console you.

Word Count: 1,878

Warning: Mentions of death/ act of suicide

It was never a secret to anyone that being born into a prestigious lineage meant that you had watchful eyes on lock with your every move. Every action you made was like a public statement and it was quite restricting, never being able to act out in the open in fear of public judgement. It has been that way since you were young, (y/n) (l/n) the eldest daughter to a famous business tycoon in England.

Though upon meeting William a few years back right after a business transaction made by your father and William’s eldest brother Albert you had become close friends, and maybe something even more. The time you’ve spent with him made you feel free, free enough to express yourself because you knew he wasn’t one to judge. It was a breath of fresh air, you never had to worry about the public eye whenever you were with him. These days you have a little skip in your step, after gaining the confidence to just be yourself.

You had made a big decision of getting your hair dyed and you were quite jittery upon entering your estate with your newly done hair. The little adrenaline rush of somewhat planned impulsivity of getting it dyed thrilled you though you know that others may have mixed feelings about your new hair. It hadn't mattered to you much since you were sick of playing the perfect daughter role. You knew your parents would have to find out one way or another you just hoped they would be accepting. Besides, it was just hair and it wasn’t that bad. If anything you thought you looked 10x better a blonde.

Still, you made an effort into hiding it for the day and probably dropping the gun and talking about it tomorrow since you were still pretty tired.

Closing the doors silently you enter your room and just as you set out a sigh of relief you hear a clatter and a piercing shriek.

Maggie, your personal maid, was in your room with tea now stained on the carpet floor as she looked at you with wide eyes. Upon realizing it was just you, her young mistress, she had calmed down and rushed towards you. Holding you by the shoulders she inspected you in amazement.

“You- you’re hair!” she exclaimed in excitement, “You’re blonde! How-”

You giggled lightly at her amazement and loss of words and babbling as she held a few locks of your hair in her fingers.

“I’ve had it done earlier,” you said, giving a little spin. “How does it look?”

“Absolutely stunning dear!”

Her response brings a smile to your face.

“What in the heavens?!” A deep male voice exclaimed from behind the door and your smile had grown shaky as you realized that the voice belonged to your father.

You mustered up a smile and took a deep breath before facing him.

“Do you like it?” you asked. “It’s preposterous! outrageous! What were you thinking?! Or did you even think at all?!” “Please calm down it’s just- “Hair?” Pinching the bridge of his nose he turned away from you with a shake of his head. “ You’re being selfish again, why can’t you just listen?”

In a much quieter tone he says “why can't you just get it through your head that your actions greatly affect the family! your brother is months away from getting married and you-

why can't you just think about what others might think and stop with this nonsense.”

Each word brings a pang in your heart as your eyes sting with tears. You couldn’t bring yourself to face him either as you grew small in his presence, self conscious even.

A silence passed and neither of you spoke. The tension in the room was suffocating, your father looked as though he had more to say but he just clicked his tongue before moving towards the door.

“Maggie, please clean up this mess,” your father said without turning back to look at the now scampering maid.

Sparing one last look he sighs and says, “I’m done with this conversation, with you, you can go jump out the balcony for all I care.”

Once the door clicks shut, you fall on your knees. Never before had your father said anything so harsh nor has he raised his voice towards you before. The tears threatening to spill had already made its way down your cheeks and you choked up a sob. All the confidence you had built over the past years felt like it was deteriorating and the only feeling that ate you up was guilt and shame.

Maggie comes back in and rushes towards your side as she sees you crying. “He doesn’t mean that sweetie,” she says all while cooing consoling words and holding your crumpled form.

You couldn’t fall asleep that night, your fathers words replaying like a broken record. Were you selfish? Was it your fault? You couldn’t help but think that and once again the ugly feeling of shame was boiling up within the pits of your stomach.

Watching from your balcony, your father who was talking to the coachman below. Downcast, he hadn’t spoken to you all day. Thinking back to last night where he couldn’t even look at you during family dinner nor even say a word to you during breakfast.

As though you were drilling holes into his head from above he had turned to face your balcony. You stepped back to avoid being seen but you saw him shake his head and then you felt the shame creep up again.

You were frustrated. At your father’s silence, his words, at yourself for letting it get to you so much. It was so really unlike you and you felt tears start to sting at your eyes. You knew your schedule was free today so you had decided to head for the Moriarty manor, your safe haven.

You made your way there without delay, gripping at your skirt as you sped through the streets of London, ignoring the weird stares and whispers of those who had recognised you. Nothing was more important now than getting there, since you were minutes away from breaking down once more.

Upon reaching the manor you were greeted by the familiar face of Louis who was tending to the gardens by the gate. Delighted you made your way towards him. “Louis!” He turned his head and stood with a shocked and bewildered expression as he blinked twice almost as if checking if what he saw was correct. “(y/n)?” he asked and you happily nodded.

“What happened to you, you look like you have been crying?” he asks.

You scratch your head a bit and mention how it was a long story not even denying the fact that he found out you were crying. Louis offers you another understanding smile as he walks with you to the manor telling you he’d go fetch William for you.

“I forgot to mention,” he says as he led you through the long hallways of the manor, “You look beautiful by the way, I’m sure my brother would think so too.”

You in turn blushed in response to his words.

“You can stay in the living room (y/n), I’ll go inform William of your presence now,” he says with a curt nod and a smile.

“Thanks Lou,” you say as you both exchange another set of smiles before he takes his leave.

A few minutes pass and you hear the sound of quick steps, the door of the living room bursting open to reveal none other than William Moriarty with the most agitated expression ever.

His agitation morphed to shock as he took one long look at you and he slowly moved towards the couch you had been sitting on.

One of his rare small smiles grace his face as he takes your hand in his, rubbing his thumb over the back of your hand tenderly.

“You look different,” he jests, then takes a lock of your hair between his fingers and rubs them. You both sit in comfortable silence and he takes this time to inspect your face, he notices the little circles around your eyes and how puffy they look not to mention your slightly rosey tipped nose. It wouldn’t take a detective to know you had been crying.

He looks at you expectantly and you take it as a sign to start spilling the beans. You tell him of how you had dyed your hair the other day to sneaking into the family manor that night uptil how your father had scolded you for your actions.

William just sat there with his hand in yours, staring at you lovingly as you replayed the story. Squeezing your hands ever so lightly when you had told him that your father had told you to kill yourself. He was appalled with your father to say the least, you the most brilliant person he had met and someone had the audacity to say such hurtful things to.

As you move your arms around animatedly to show your frustrations he found them rather cute and amusing, another smile moves up to his face. You were too caught up in retelling the story to notice him bring his hands to your chin. He moves your chin to face him and this action silences you.

Smiling at you once more he moves the hand holding your chin to caress your face. “Listen,it's true you have to consider others' opinions but that's just the tip of the iceberg, think about it... do we have more confidence in their opinions than we do our own? self-care is never a selfish act.”

You sigh, taking his hand that was on your face in your own, “It’s different when those people are your family. I don’t know how I could go back and face th-” “You don’t have to go back,” he grumbles under his breath but enough for you to hear.

“...then where would I go?”

“Simple,” he says with a compelling dangerous glint in his crimson eyes. “You are of age now, stay with me. I will marry you.”

Your eyes widened in surprise and awkwardly laughed it off thinking it was another one of Williams jokes but the look in his eye told you that he was dead serious. Your cheeks then set aflame as numerous butterflies crashed around your stomach and chest.

“I know it is much too early for a proposal but I promise to love and cherish you for as long as my heart keeps beating,” He then stands and extends a hand for you to take, almost a silent sign of asking you to accept. And once you do slip your hand in his he holds you by the waist for an embrace and whispers in your ear.

“Besides, I think you look lovely as a blonde.”

This comment leaves you in a fit of giggles. William James Moriarty will always continue to be your safe haven, a pillar of support.

Hey there angel I hope you’re feeling alright please remember that you cant let others decide your self worth for you so try not to let huetful comments let you down. I’m pretty sure you look amazing and hopefully your father will come around with getting used to seeing your hair that way. I hope this story was to your liking as well have some moriarty love!

Also I pretty much crammed this cause I only saw the request today and aaaaaaa im sorry anywayz hope you like it again sweetie!!

[lwt28brave]

LT2 masterpost

If it was up to me, we would get an autumn or winter EP. Since it’s not up to me at all, here, enjoy this post with everything we know so far of LT2, which is to say, not much at all. Everything here is hypothetical. I’ll be updating every time I see something relevant. A little disclaimer that while this is a masterpost (kinda), it could be read as discourse (duh, it’s also a theory), AND it’s also by me, and you shouldn’t expect me to be serious at this point.

Due to me restraining myself, there’s no reference to any of the times he’s mentioned his guitar skills and him improving but I hope you know I cried every single time.

I’m also linking my old pinned here. It was written before AFHF and around the free merch thing that didn’t lead to much, but I still think I made some good points.

Possible tracks:

Copy of a Copy of a Copy

Change

Faith in the future??

369??

Possible names:

369

Faith in the future

When is the album coming out?

Your guess is as good as mine

Friday 28th of January 2022. Almost two years after Walls. It’s a Friday. It’s a 28th. What else can I say?

Here you can find @want-to-be-loved timelines for every month.

Here you can find @berlinini’s timeline of what Louis has been up to this year (2021).

The rest is under the cut. And here you can find a PDF version where Tumblr can't tell me how many pictures I can add.

2020

He said back on May 2th 2020 he wasn’t writing anything new yet.

(x)(x)(x)

Interestingly enough, he’s said many times after that that the album’s not ready cause he has no new experiences to drawn from. I won’t call him out because he does it himself.

May 4th. He liked a tweet from DMA’s Johnny Took saying they had to go write together again. Louis has been credited as an influence for them and (kind of) participated in their previous record, so I’m assuming he meant for their music and not his, but you never know.

Nothing(literally nothing??? how did we survive) until 11th of July. We all know what happened that day. We all celebrated it. Nonetheless, that’s not what I’m talking about here.

(x) So, by the beginning of July 2020 he was working on concepts and ideas for the new album. That was fifteen months ago. I know perfection takes time but…

Brief summary of important things that happened from then until the next mention of new music:

Louis left Syco!!!! 10 days later he rescheduled the tour for the first time. He followed Matt Vines on Twitter, probably so we could publicly shame him into doing something. Also, the 10thanniversary. He followed more people I wish he hadn’t.

Then more nothing until September. Not even a single tweet. The first merch drop was on the 28th of August but he just RT’ed the tweet. He first mentioned Free my Meal on the 25th of September. Then on October 1st Walls hit #1 on a lot of countries and Louis was incredibly happy and excited about it ^^

And then, that same day, October 1st, 2020, he dropped this bomb:

(x)

He also said it was too soon to be sharing new lyrics with us (x)

And, obviously, this tweet which is actually what made me start this whole post. I would hope you know mate.

(x)

He also told us he was cooking "banger after banger" and that he was incorporating more social themes into his music (x)(x) (I believe any social issue is a political issue but that’s not the point rn).

COPY OF A COPY OF A COPY?!?!

These next paragraphs are brought to you by my mind not remembering things and me not having any links. I’m assuming COACOAC came from those writing sessions that supposedly happened in October. Or in LA but I have no idea if he actually was in LA at any point other than a Daily Mail article putting him there on December which would have been too late, but I do remember that someone said he was in the studio in LA last autumn???? A rumor. Maybe. IDK. Did I mention already all of this is very hypothetical?? Well, this is it. I can’t even remember if this was October or November or what. So, take this with a grain of salt.

I’m also… taking the liberty to assume, if you must, that Copy wasn’t meant to be a Walls reject because it sounds more mature and darker and it has a vastly different tone that Walls songs. I know he’s said that song probably isn’t getting into the album, but I want to have faith (in the future) that I’m getting a studio version. (But also, Louis, if you’re reading this, first of all GET OUT OF MY BLOG second of all, please don’t ever feel pressured again to add a song to the album because we have already heard it before. It’s your art and it should always be under your own terms).

So yeah, I believe that Copy is either one of those four songs (then imagine the other three??!!) or was written around the 1st of October date.

---End of the Intermission---

Then not much important (other than sharing more about Marcus Rashford fight against food poverty and the 2nd merch drop) until he announced the livestream on the 24th of November. (x)

It wasn’t until a few days before the livestream date we even thought again about new music (jk, I know we’re always thinking about new Louis’ music). So, December 9th/10th, 2020. Nine months ago. We got our first taste of new music!

He made sure we knew Copy of a Copy of a Copy isn't a cover! (x) (x)

(x)

Ok, so that’s it for 2020. (I feel like I’m missing something from September 17th because tweet was deleted but maybe he was still talking about cucumbers. We might never know. Unless I understand how Tumblr tags work). Expected, cause Walls was released in 2020. We needed to let it sit for a while.

2021

Another Summary: Louis third tweet of the year was telling the UK government off. So was the fifth. What a good beginning. On the 26th of January, he said he prefers pancakes over waffles. I hope he meant pancakes other than his own. More importantly, he tweeted the infamous “you lot read into things too much”. Don’t get me started, Tomlinson. Don’t. Then the 31st came around and Walls was one. He tweeted this. How wise. And Project Defenceless happened!!

15th of February!! Who cares about Valentine Day when the next day we got this? ♥

(x)

(x)

So…AN EP?? AN EP?? PLEASE RELEASE AN EP.

“I’m sure I will have something out this year but unlikely that will be the album”. Unlikely but not impossible. Also. A single would be good. This is the second time he mentions releasing something in 2021 and he sounds surer about it than the first time around.

He also said that he isn’t sure we will get a studio version of Copy. And that the best bridges from Walls to LT2 are Walls, OTB, KMM and Copy. Can’t wait!

Then we jump to March 6th when he announced he was going to create his own management company. “Sometimes action is needed first to encourage the motivation and belief”. As we can tell he was already manifesting some stuff which will lead us to the numerology stuff/Tesla… kidding. Or not. We might never know.

On the 22nd of March he answered some questions:

He told us music was still his main focus ♥ mwha. (x) I included this tweet to guilt-trip him into giving us music in case he’s reading this even after I told him to leave. ILY.

(x) I’d love to get a visual EP this autumn. Just saying. It sounds like a lovely concept.

(x)

…next (I will get into it, I promise. I’m just mad).

On the 25th he left for Mexico until April 10th. You could assume it was just for the documentary where we got ten seconds of footage or admit the obvious: LT2 its a Mexican baby!!

On the 26th (so, not so far apart from that first 369) we got the first Faith in the Future mention: (x)

Back then we were innocent people who had no idea what was coming upon us. We still have no idea because what the fuck does he mean with these. Please explain. I have one braincell and I don’t use it enough for this. I’m linking some theories.

On the 30th of March he confirmed he was already working on the documentary. So AFHF was already on the works. Will it take this long for us to get the Veeps numbers? We also got this tweet: "Got a decent chorus idea down" (x).

Same person that got the “something out this year” exclusive. If you know something share with the class. Also. Is this Change? I feel like this could be Change but I also assume he wrote Change after hanging out with his friends or being in Doncaster. But who knows.

(x) And the second mention to 369.

(x) 15th of April. The second "Faith in the future".

On the 19th of April he announced that he had something BIG for us later on the year which turned out to be the Away From Home Festival ♥♥ (x) I love him so much.

Then on the 28th he announced the 369 merch drop (which it’s probably the Walls drop? Except that the TOU and KMM ones were “drop 1 and drop 2” and this was drop 369 which, again, makes no sense) but we still don’t know what 369 means.

Into May’ 21 we go.

He rescheduled tour again. And dropped another bomb (x).

He announced he has signed with BMG as an independent artist by RTing this tweet on May 10th. The article also says that he’s already working on writing and recording LT2. The timing… we don’t know. What this deal involves… we don’t know either. Bear with me here because I have a lot to say about this.

I think the deal is only a distribution one, but that BMG are interested in Louis and what he (us) could bring to the table. They were either present at the festival or watching it, but officially they had no involvement at all with it (everything is credited either to Louis own company, 78 Productions, or Charlie Lightening’s company). That’s the case for both giveaways too; the vinyl one and the tickets for the festival.

I think it would be an unbelievably bad move not to test the waters with BMG now or soon-ish. At least a single, to see how it performs. Due to the circumstances, it’s obvious there’re certain limitations on place but I want to see how they push it, whether the radio play exist this time around and if the song is playlisted and promoted and all that… I would also love to know, since it says he signed with BMG UK, but it also states it’s a global deal, how things are going to go on the US and other countries.

Yes, yes. I know those are all questions and no answers. But I know the same as you, sadly. If any of you know more than you’re letting on… again, share with the class.

Where was I? Yes, on the 25th of May Louis had a great day writing (x). Since the first time he had mentioned he was officially writing to this date there’s almost eight months. And I believe he was writing before October’ 20.

He followed Robert Harvey that day and, on the 28th of May (why is it always the 28th???) he was spotted at the studio for the first time.

June was an interesting month for the fandom ♥. Lots of LHL content which I will love and cherish for the rest of times. On June 4th, June 9th, and June 10th he was spotted at the studio, but I believe he was there more days.

(x)

This was posted on June 6th and captioned Studio. Charlie also shared it with “Mega tunes being put down, can’t wait for this @louist91 #louistomlinson #LT2” as the caption. This gives me 2019 (Elton-Joint) vibes. I like it. Feels like we’re getting closer to something.

He added the Milano date on the 9th too which I’m mentioning because I’m going alone. Anyone wanna go with me please? I’m nice and I never eat anything before a concert so you can have my food. On other news. It didn’t come home.

During July he was at the studio at least three days too. Probably more. Feels like more with all the fan pictures we got. Or was that June? Anyway, July 1st and 9th we got some videos from Robert Harvey and wearesuperhi, which is who Louis has been working with the most, that we know of. I don’t know for sure they’re from that day. And on July 5th we got an article and lots of pictures of Louis looking really good outside the studio.

On the 12th of July the first fans started getting the free, 369 bucket hat and print. We still don’t know what the purpose was other than to thanks fans. Maybe that was it. I want answers and I still think it relates to a future project (see theories above), but it could also just be a bridge with the Walls breaking.

He didn’t tweet about anything interesting for a while, mostly because he lost his phone (he either throwed it in the air or smashed it who knows). Then on the 29th of July he announced the festival!

I’m glossing over it because there’s already been a lot of talk about it (rightfully) and while it was a wonderful thing, it doesn’t have much to do with LT2.

Let’s talk Change!

On August 3rd he tweeted this about the setlist.

(x)

And this (x) on the 28th! I can’t stand him.

We didn’t get it, obviously. Because who was going to get that. But we read too much into things. Alright.

On the 16thof August Dave Gibson shared this post tagged #LT2 with the eyes emojis 👀👀👀. I believe this has to do both with Change but also with whatever else came out of that Mexico trip.

(x) Last relevant tweet related to LT2 is this one.

So, on the 30th of August we got Change and we cried, and we know that Change is going in the new album. He said it. With those exact words. He also said he was “getting a feeling for it”. This has to meant he already has a general idea of the vibe of the new album and what’s going in it!!!!!! (Right? RIGHT?).

Anyway, let’s go back a few weeks because some other things happened on August. He was at the studio a few more times. Or it was suggested that he was there. On the 17th and the 18th. (Why was it so time-pressing to be at the studio instead of rehearsing for the festival? There was no studio at all on the documentary. Which makes sense, but again, then why?).

On the day of the festival we got another mention of Faith in The Future that made me feel part of a cult ngl. The words were flashing on the screen for less than a second. Okay.

And then he tweeted those words again after watching the livestream/documentary on the 4th of September (x). This is what makes me suspect it's either the name of the album or of the single.

On the same day, we got some interesting quotes about LT2 on the documentary.

“Soon I’ll have to think about me second album, which in my head I’ll get the tour out of the way and then I’ll address that. So, I hadn’t really given it much thought, to be honest”.

“When every day is the same is hard to feel creative and it’s hard to have any kind of proper inspiration”.

“As season started to come back, I started writing again and it was great and some of these songs turned out alright”.

And I think this is it. I might be overlooking some important details but that’s what we know and what we don’t know.

So. Conclusions. That’s what you missed on Glee. I do believe the album is, if not mostly done, partially there. And yes, this post is pointless and never-ending but it’s all in here if you need to tell Louis “Hey, you said this, mate”.

[kingv91]

A Word to the Defense of Liam Payne

Unless you’ve been on a social media hiatus lately, or simply just are generally unaware of the goings on within the general One Direction Fandom, there’s been at least a 3-4 day war going on filled with all kinds of hate, name calling, division, and just general anger within the fandom both at each other and just at the circumstances and at its center is an ill-fated interview that Liam Payne participated in on Logan Paul’s podcast “Impaulsive.”

The result, as you may be able to surmise from my introduction to this, were catastrophic for both Liam and for the fandom at large, especially those who consider, or considered, themselves OT5’s.

But before we get to what the fallout of the interview was, let’s actually talk about what the interview contained, because I am not in the business of spreading misinformation.

The first thing we should note, is that Liam was drinking throughout the interview (more on that later) and Logan was a bit late. Logan mentions the time but Liam shrugs him off, and so the interview begins. He talks a bit about Veecon and his alcoholism (he said he was wasted and drunk, again more on that later) then later on he talks about the X Factor and early One Direction Years.

This is were people begin to get things twisted and start to take his words out of context. He started talking about how he and Louis hated each other because Louis was “wild” and he wasn’t, he was attacked. This isn’t the first time he’s said this, and moreover, Louis has said this as well. He also spoke about how he had more solos in the early years of the band and so on and how Louis later found his voice, all of which is corroborated by Louis and is in fact true (this was noted by fans in the early years). Later he starts talking about the insane rhythm they had to deal with and Logan says “That’s insane! How does a man’s brain comprehend all of this?” Liam answers, “It doesn’t.”

Liam also goes on to joke about death (a suicidal tendency if you know what you’re looking for) when he says “I’ve been trying to put myself to sleep for years.” And goes on to talk about how he came to blows with a member of his team (this is post One Direction btw).

Now we come to the next bit where Liam gets into hot water because it’s where he talks about Zayn. Logan begins to bring it up so Liam cuts him off so Logan can’t spin it and says “before we get too deep with this, there are many reasons why I dislike Zayn AND many reasons why I’ll be always, ALWAYS, on his side.” He goes into how his family and Logan’s were supportive, sometimes overly supportive, giving the implication that Zayn’s was not, however he never said that (but the implication is there), however he said “it would be easy to accuse them of being a dick for something they said or did without considering the whole context.” He never once said that Zayn was a dick.

Could he have put it a better way? Absolutely, he could have left Zayn’s family and background out entirely as it wasn’t his story to share, but it’s out there now so it’s what we have to deal with. What he DID say is that he didn’t agree with everything that Zayn does or says, but he will always be on his side.

Continuing on into the interview, he says he’s a person who’s easily influenced by the energy of the people around and by what they say. Something that has been repeated to him over the years is “If I was you, I’d be dead by now.” And he also touched on the fact that his psychologist told him that one of the most important things that parents are supposed to give to children once they turn 16 is freedom, but once in the band, they received the exact opposite for fear of being mobbed. Because of this, he at times suffers from agoraphobia.

One of the last things he said seriously before the interview wrapped up was “I don’t know who I am, I replicate different people on a daily basis.”

Credits for the breakdown of the interview here:

So let’s talk about it.

Full disclosure: I’m a Larrie so I look beyond face value when things like this happen.

I’ve addressed some things in the discussion up above (the Louis thing, and some of the Zayn stuff), but I’ve not gotten to all of it. First I’ve seen some things regarding Harry and how he would rather “eat a water scorpion than rank the other boys’ music” regarding his appearance on the Late Late Show.

Let’s address that now shall we? It was scripted.

Every single one of the skits on that show are scripted. Spill Your Guts is no exception. Ergo, he was never gonna answer the question. Additionally, even if it wasn’t scripted, he actually had an option to not answer, in this instance, Liam had to answer.

Liam doesn’t usually have to dodge questions, Harry has LOTS of experience dodging questions, Louis too. Liam is generally forthright when answering questions because he’s asked questions that concern HIM and HIM ALONE.

Some examples of him clumsily dodging questions are the iconic “vocal rest” interview, or when they were asked about the bears.

Liam doesn’t do dodging questions or deflections well.

A few other things before I go to wrap this up, the old song and dance about Both Ways being biphobic/homophobic. We get it. Y’all were hurt and your feelings are valid.

However.

He’s apologized and educated himself. You’re doing no one any favors (least of all yourself) by continuing to hate on him for a song that he, a bisexual woman, and three other people wrote and released in 2019.

I’m sorry if it seems insensitive, but time waits for no one and holding a grudge is like willingly keeping a slow acting poison in your bloodstream. Literally toxic.

As for the whole Niall “unfollowing” Liam, he never followed him in the first place and he didn’t know. It never happened so, that’s old news. Just another thing to add to the misinformation dumpster fire.

Lastly, Liam’s alcoholism and mental health.

I mentioned before that Logan mentioned the time when Liam was drinking and Liam shrugged him off. Liam was drinking a whiskey neat. For those of you who don’t know, Whiskey is a strong spirit. Not too long ago Liam was opening up about his sobriety and his struggles with alcohol, well it looks as though he’s fallen off the wagon.

Logan’s comment about the time is significant because that means it was an unusual time to be drinking, a clear sign of addiction.

Allow me to make an analogy. Addiction of any kind is like weaving a tapestry. You weave and weave and your drug of choice is the threads. The moment you decide to quit, you weave less often until you stop altogether, but there’s a catch, what you’ve already weaved is still there.

You see when you’re dealing with addiction and you try to quit but you come back to it, you’re not starting back at zero. You’re picking up where you left off. You’re picking up the tapestry and beginning to weave where to left off.

When the tapestry is complete…It’s a drug overdose, or alcohol poisoning, or any number of things that could cause death.

The fact that Liam is drinking again means that he’s picked up his personal addiction tapestry again and his drug of choice is of course, alcohol.

The fact that he’s so casually joking about death is a red flag too as it’s a suicidal tendency and a sign of depression.

The only thing that I can hope for is that he’s getting the help he needs and that he will stay away from social media for at least a few months. He doesn’t need to see all of this.

[egcdeath]

birthdays with the boys

in honor of my own birthday, today i’ll be sharing with you what i think your birthday with many cevans characters would be like. enjoy! <3

steve rogers

he leaves his mission early and unannounced so when you wake up to the smell of pancakes in your house, and a man with breakfast in bed you almost jump out of your skin buuut you couldn’t be happier to see him

breakfast in bed is just the start of your bday because he goes ALL. OUT. 

as you finish up eating, he grabs a folded piece of paper with a wax seal on it and hands it to you

he tells you to open it once he leaves, gives you a wink, then goes

he planed a birthday scavenger hunt for you!!!

for the rest of the day, you travel around the city to a bunch of important places in your relationship, like your fav dates n stuff

at the midway point of the hunt, he meets you for a coffee and makes sure you’re still enjoying everything before he sends you off with the avenger’s company card and basically tells you to get something nice before finishing the hunt hehe

you do in fact get yourself something nice

at the end of the hunt, you end up at the compound where all of your friends and teammates are and you have a very nice birthday party

by the time that you and steve go home, you’re exhausted but wanna spend a lil more time savoring your birthday so steve suggests that the two of you watch that one cheesy rom com that you love (and he hates)

as you cuddle on the couch, popping the occasionaly popcorn kernel in your mouth, you cant help but to feel grateful that you have such an amazing boyfriend

ransom drysdale

his birthdays were always disregarded when he grew up, so he has a very extravagant celebration planned for you

we all know that he can make a pretty airtight and elaborate plan so you literally have zero idea of what he’s got up his sleeve

enter: a whole birthday week

(he sweet talked your boss into some time off  so thats one whole thing you don’t have to worry about)

day one is a whole spa and a shopping day

he can’t stand some of your friends but he invites them anyway bc he knows it’ll make you happy

he’s glaring at your friends while they giggle about some new louis vuitton purse and you’re thoroughly amused by it

you give him extra kisses that night as a reward for not instigating any fights that day (awww bf of the year am i right ladies?)

day two you guys do a museum hop and look at lots of art

ransom rolls his eyes at canvases that have a few drops of paint on them and are called modern art, you think this is hilarious

day three you have a picnic together in a park

ransom knows you have an affinity for charcuterie boards and attempts to make you one himself (and it’s not all that bad), along with a bunch of dainty little sandwiches

later that day, you go to a planetarium together

on your drive back home you have an interesting convo on the meaning of life

day 4 you take a pottery class together

ransom makes the most deformed bowl you’ve ever seen in your life

so naturally you put it up for display in your bedroom (so whenever you see it you can think of him)

day five is a first class flight to some luxurious villa in europe. most of day five is taken up on a plane

ransom lets you lay your head on him while you sleep, even though the position you’re in is making it astonishingly uncomfortable for him

day six you guys explore the city all day together

ransom makes sure not to complain about his aching legs (even though yours are getting sore too, and if he said something you would’ve done something about it!)

on your real birthday (day seven), ransom takes you out to a very nice dinner, and gives you a hand written letter detailing how much he loves and cares about you (because sometimes it’s hard for him to say his feelings)

you’re extremely flattered but have no idea how you’ll top this for his own birthday

andy barber

you and andy aren’t really huge on big gestures, so he does little things throughout the day

while you’re at work, he makes a surprise stop by and brings you your favorite drink & lunch from your favorite food place

he sends a bouquet of flowers to your job as well

after work, he cooks for you then showers you in gifts

your favorite thing that he gets you is a little engraved necklace with yours and his initials on it

at the end of the day, he gives you a nice full body massage and somehow that was exactly what you needed.

maybe not the most extravagant birthday, but a good one nonetheless.

frank adler

you have a pretty chill birthday with him and mary

he brings you a cake that him and mary made/decorated together

it’s kind of hideous but you love it

you guys let mary skip class for just 1 (one) day but tell her to keep it a secret

you call the school and let her fake being sick in the background. it is a hoot

you all go to the zoo together 

you take tons of pictures

your personal favorite is one where mary and frank are posing with a giraffe

after the zoo, you go bowling

when you win, the sore losers that came with you claim they were letting you win since it was your birthday

you end your day at the beach, watching mary and her cat play in the sand in your peripheral vision while you and frank admire the sunset

ah, sweet, sweet domesticity

ari levinson

you go to an escape room to celebrate your birthday

it’s just you and ari, but you’re smart so you don’t expect it to be too difficult

🚨wrong🚨

you’re both so hard headed and stubborn that doing any of the tasks is like pulling teeth

eventually the building had to close, and you’ve only finished like... a few tasks in the hours you’ve been there

this was certainly not a bad birthday though, arguing with ari is one of your favorite pastimes

and this birthday certainly did not disappoint

jake jensen

you and the rest of your team decided to go to a little retro arcade for the first half of the night

you spent way more time than necessary watching jake attempt to beat the high score of some random game

after giving up on beating the highest score on a pac-man machine, jake decided to attempt to win you a prize on the claw machine

like, $20 and a few annoyed humans in line behind him later, it was still nothing

when jake finally gave up, the next person in line won the soft and plushy elephant you had your eye on

and while your back was turned, he may or may not have paid off its rightful owner in order to get it with you

it was too sweet of a gesture for you to even try to be annoyed with jake

a bit later, you decided to partake in a game of laser tag which was going on in the same building

this was fine and dandy buuuut

everyone on your team treated every mission (real or fictional) like the end of the world

this made for a few very interesting matches

jake nearly trampled a child more than one time

good thing everyone was required to sign a waiver before playing

a custody battle over which team got to have cougar seemed to be a consistent theme during the night

when you were on different teams, you couldn’t help but notice that jake was getting a little too much pleasure out of shooting you

it was fine because you were equally enthusiastic about shooting him

you were eventually booted from the game when an employee claimed you were all being too rough

at some point you lost the elephant

but luckily for you, you found it before you went home

you were going to keep that elephant forever

johnny storm

you were genuinely convinced that johnny forgot your birthday

he did not bring it up ONCE the whole day

you’re actually kind of hurt for a while and get all in your head

johnny gets the silent treatment 🙄 (but he deserves it)

you decide to stop moping and go out, since it issss your birthday

you do your makeup and put on a skimpy little dress

as you leave your room and start enter the communal portion of the baxter building, johnny stops you and checks you out

he’s like “where are you going????”

and you’re like “out 😐”

and he’s like “are you sure? 🤨”

and you’re like yes duh

then he gestures to the side really quickly and you’re kinda confused then a whole bunch of people pop out and start cheering for your birthday

you’re kinda embarrassed that you spent so much of the day moping but you quickly get over it because you love a good party

by the time that most of your guests are gone, you force johnny to take you out to the club

and of course you warn him not to ever pull a stunt like that again

lucas lee

he forgot it was your birthday