#because its kent parson

[titsthedamnseason]

i reside firmly in camp “jack never really loved parson” not because i can’t critical think or recognize the nuance of canon or anything like that but because i think it’s extremely cunty if kent parson was like a mess over himself confessing his undying love for jack every day in the juniors and jack was high out of his mind just like “k. wanna go practice face offs?”

[cricketnationrise]

Congrats on the followers!!

I would love some Kent Parson, 1:13am, in Vegas. I’m thinking The (Shipped) Gold Standard - Fall Out Boy for vibes and the rating is up to you, I’m good with any!

I’m dairaliz on AO3

ngl, as much as i love this song on its own and for Kent post-draft in particular, i was really worried about writing this one. i haven't actually written Kent POV before, so i hope i did him justice and that it's even a little bit what you were hoping to get 💜🦗

read the rest of the ficlets here

🏒🏒🏒🏒

1:31am, las vegas

Parson! Over here, Kent! What do you think about Jack Zimmermann’s overdose? No comment.

The bar Kent’s sitting in didn’t even card him. 

For all Kent wants to pretend he’s got his life together—he’s got his dream job, he’s moved out of his parents’ house for good, he’s making enough money to buy his mom a goddamn mansion—he’s scared fucking shitless. 

Every clink of the ice cubes against the bottom of his glass grates on his brain, a sharp reminder of the weight of an entire fucking franchise sitting on his shoulders. A franchise that might be settling for second-best, the only option available. Kent will never know—too terrified to ask—if Vegas would have drafted him regardless of Ja—Zimmermann’s presence; will never know just how he and Zimmermann would have done playing on opposing teams, how they would have stacked up.

And the bar didn’t even card him. Sure, he was dragged out by his new teammates, was being welcomed to the fold with alcohol and non-diet-approved bar food, was surrounded by boisterous young men who were putting their faith in him—

It’s fine, probably. They definitely picked this bar because they don’t card regularly. It’s not his teammates’ fault that the idea of one night of drinking being enough to tip the scales, to irrevocably tank a promising career, a future—is spiraling around Kent’s head, circling the drain. Zimms had been right there with him, neck and neck, constantly battling for more points, for bigger numbers. They’d pushed each other, pulling the best performance out of the other both off and on the ice. And in the blink of an eye, the flash of lightning, the space between one breath and the next: Jack had been ripped away—from hockey, from the NHL, from Kent.

Kent knew. He knew as soon as he saw Jack on the floor, skin a shade no skin should be, empty orange pill bottle next to his limp hand, and dialed 9-1-1 that life as he knew it was over. No matter what happened next, this would change everything. Part of him was panicking, practically hyperventilating, as he half-yelled, half-sobbed through the phone at the dispatcher, as he hovered ineffectually around the medics as they strapped Jack to a backboard. The other part of him railed from behind a wall of mute shock and horror and resignation as Jack blocked his phone number, kicked him out of his room, told his parents not to let Kent visit.

Each time Jack shut him out, another layer of chill settled around Kent’s heart. The wall around his real self got another brick higher every time a reporter asked about the draft. Deep in the core of himself, he wants to lash out, to push back, to scream that the boy he loves won’t talk to him and what did he do to deserve that—but even Kent isn’t self-destructive enough to say any of that where someone else can hear. So he’ll drink with his teammates, in a sketchy Vegas dive bar, and count down the days until the season starts.

It’s the only thing he’s got left.

Kent, what do you say to those people who say you only went first in the draft because Zimmermann wasn’t there? Haha, um...I guess we’ll never know what would have happened, will we? A great big mystery for us all. I’m just excited to get started on winning the Aces a Cup.

[petals42]

The Parson/Chowder Body Switching AU that, well, actually Ngozi did specifically ask for...

Okay so this was going to be a full fic and then i got 1k in and realized that if it was going to be done right, it would have to be like 50k and I don’t have quite the inspiration to do that so, I present to do, the bullet point form of: The Chowder/Kent Parson Body Switch Fic (petals version) [Note: it is still like 6.5k because i have lost control of my life]

Kent Parson wakes up in an unfamiliar bedroom and is like “well, fuck, did this again-- but it’s a Friday so… that’s not that crazy” because he’s Kent Parson and if you think KP is not getting dangerously drunk on the semi-regular, then you have not given him as much angst as I have and I invite you to get on board with Kenny P and his bad coping mechanisms

Of course, he is a little confused, cause he usually saves that for the off-season and they are still playing so like… it’s not totally in character but he accepts he was extra stupid last night.

Actually he was really fucking stupid because he clearly hooked up with a guy (based on the smell) and a Sharks fan (based on the whole fucking room) and he usually doesn’t risk hooking up with hockey fans because… he’s not trusting hockey fans to not out him to the world.

(And also good lord, if he is so drunk he cannot even remember this guy at all, he was probably a shitty lay.)

But, okay, he accepts this: Bad decisions were made last night. But this isn’t exactly his first rodeo so he breaks it down like he would a play and first things first: Coffee.

He stumbles down to get coffee, noting that his body is moving kinda weird and maybe he is still drunk?? That would also explain the lack of hangover.

This is when shit gets crazy. Because Bitty is downstairs in the kitchen and Bitty smiles when he sees him and there is no world in which Eric Bittle, Jack’s perfect fucking boyfriend, smiles at him. Kent Parson, Jack’s fucking asshole of an ex.

Then Bitty moves away from the kitchen window and Kent sees himself and-- Holy Shit, he is not Kent Parson.

MEANWHILE, over in Vegas, Chowder wakes up with a killer headache and worries he is getting sick which is good in that it means Bitty will make him soup, bad in that he has a project he needs to do with Dex and also, boy his feet are hot.

He makes the mistake of moving them.

He is then attacked by some huge white furry monster and when he yelps, the monster freezes, looks at him long and hard for a tense 30 seconds before hissing and running away.

It is at this point that Chowder realizes he is not in his own room. In fact, he does not think he is in the Haus. His assumption that this is a prank by Holster and Ransom but it seems awfully elaborate and they lost last night so he would have thought he was safe from pranks oh and also, when he swings his head to see more of the room (dark gray sheets, mint colored wall, no art up at all), a piece of his hair falls out and it--

It is white people hair. Blond. He’d know it a mile away.

So he jumps up and runs to the bathroom and Holy Shit He Is Kent Parson.

Meanwhile, Kent has almost died. Bitty had asked about the Sharks and he had been too stunned to lie and then Bitty threatened him with death and he’s managed to laugh and say something like “JUST KIDDING JUST KIDDING THEY WON 3-1!!!” (he was shouting more out of fear than enthusiasm but luckily it seemed to do the trick) and thank god he actually did follow that game because they were playing the Sharks the next day.

Well. The Aces are playing the Sharks the next day.

He is… fucking shit, he needs to figure out who he was.

He forgoes the coffee that Bitty offers him and runs to the bathroom and-- Chowder. He stalks enough of Samwell and Bitty’s dumb vlog that he knows Chowder. He is… He is Chowder. He is trapped in Chowder’s body. He is--

He is on his way to a full panic attack when the door bangs open and Holster blinks at him and “you’re up early dude” and then walks over to the toilet and starts peeing and he looks half asleep so Kent runs away.

Running away does not work though, because Ransom grabs him as he tries and “no, no, no moping about the game last night for you. It was a tough loss, but it was everyone’s fault, not yours and c’mon Bitty is making breakfast”

And so Kent Parson is manhandled back downstairs.

Chowder’s solution to the problem was to lay down and hope that he woke up from that fucking weird ass dream.

It does not work.

So then he gets up and decides that step one is to fix this hangover. He grabs water, advil, open the fridge to find that it is empty (almost cries a little tbh) and it is when going for his phone that he realizes his phone is Parson’s phone and that phone is dead. He cannot get into the laptop because there is a password. So ordering food is out.

He is nothing if not a problem solver though so Chowder puts the phone to charge, hops in and out of the shower, puts on clothes (that are literally so soft oh my god kent parson spends his money right), grabs his wallet and keys (at least, he assumes) and heads out.

Luckily, Kent Parson lives in a walkable area. So no driving is necessary to find a chinese place because that is exactly what Chowder thinks he needs right now. Good, cheap, tastes nothing like the real thing but man he loves it anyway, Chinese food.

When he walks in the store, the man behind the counter says “you want the usual?” and it is here that Chowder makes his first mistake. Because he doesn’t know what white-boy Kent gets but he’s sure it’s not what he wants. So he says “no”, gives the man a correct order (yes, he’s sure he wants extra hot everything, thank you very much) and then he takes it home and--

DIES.

HE DIES.

Chowder puts one bite of what is SUPPOSED to be delicious food into his mouth and HE DIES.

Seriously. His whole mouth lights up on fire and he starts sweating and gets the hiccups and also heartburn?? It turns out that is a thing?? and the only thing in Kent Parson’s fridge is heavy cream (presumably for coffee) but Chowder just takes that to the dome and holy shit, white people are the worst and he--

He goes back and says “yes, actually, please I would like my usual” and then goes promptly back to sleep.

Because he is hungover and stuck in a nightmare where mild beef and broccoli is almost too much for him and sleep seems to be the best solution.

Kent Parson would like to be asleep. Boy, would he. But Ransom had dragged him downstairs and he is trying to continue to hate Bitty while also eating these fucking delicious waffles and his strategy to making it through this breakfast is to just sit quietly and nod every once and a while and hope that Samwell’s loss is enough of an explanation for “chowder’s” silence this morning.

(He also has to keep reminding himself to stop glaring at Bitty. Bitty is… Bitty fucking hates him but not when he’s in this body and that’s weird and he hates Bitty too because Bitty has it all and he has nothing and he-- Everyone here clearly loves Bitty. He has to pretend.)

“Dude, you aren’t even ready yet?” The boy telling him this is very ginger and Kent doesn’t think he was around when he came to Samwell the last time but “cut a man a break, Dex,” another boy says, sliding into a stool. “Chill a little. You’ll get there in time.”

“Class starts in 15 minutes,” Dex tells him and Kent is going to open his mouth to say that he is not feeling well and gonna skip but Bitty is sort of frowning at him suspiciously so he just nods mutely and runs for the stairs.

It is now, in this minute alone, that he gets his first good idea: Call myself. He grabs Chowder’s phone, thanks every god that might exist that Chowder has his fingerprint set up so security is not an issue and then he types in his own number and--

Nothing.

His phone is off.

Goddammit.

There’s nothing left to do but get ready to go. So, he pulls on clothes (and man, this guy needs an updated wardrobe, like seriously what are these t-shirts made of?? cardboard??) and runs after Dex and okay, it turns out he has computer something-or-other… at 10AM. Every MWF. What the fuck.

Chowder wakes up a few hours later, feeling better, but still tragically stuck in Kent Parson’s body.

Also the cat. It’s back. And glaring at him. But also… meowing at the food bowl.

Chowder considers looking up how much food you are supposed to give cats and then thinks, fuck it, and fills the whole thing. The cat looks pleased by this but when Chowder tries to pet her, she hisses at him.

Either this cat somehow knows he is not really Kent Parson or she is the meanest fucking cat in the world.

At this point, Chowder sees that Kent’s phone is charged, turns it on and finds out that Kent Parson is one of those idiots with one of those patterns used to unlock it instead of a fingerprint.

He is… he is at a loss for what to do. LUCKILY, at that moment (because this is fic), a Troy Swoops calls. Chowder lunges for the phone and answers it and

“Booy, where the fuck are you?? We’re all at the stadium and our flight leaves in three and a half hours so like… what the fuck?”

“Uh. Oh. Um. I’m…” Chowder had been so excited to answer, he had actually not thought this totally all the way through.

“I’m… flight?”

“Yes. Flight. Leaving this afternoon. For the game tomorrow.”

Right. Kent Parson is on a professional hockey team. Kent Parson plays games. “Yes.” Chowder says. “Right… where are… where are we going for the game?”

There is silence on the other end. Dead silence.

“Dude. what the fuck. We… we’re playing the Sharks tomorrow. You know that.” The voice sounds honestly concerned.

“HAH! RIGHT!” Chowder says, trying to play this off. “Just kidding! Haha, uh, obviously I knew that. Just… got you!”

He winces. He does not think he sounds like Kent Parson. He clears his throat and tries. “Gosh, Swoops, you are… so fucking gullible. If I-- If I told you gullible was written on the ceiling you would-- you would fucking believe it!”

“Uh- what?”

“Look, gotta go,” Chowder says. “I’ll be at the stadium soon” And then hangs up. And throws the phone.

And then let’s out a little scream because finally, finally, he thinks he knows what’s going on.

Kent Parson is 99% sure everyone around him is talking in a different language. Sure, he recognizes the words they are saying and sometimes he can put together a sentence but… he has no idea what is happening. He has his notebook open since Dex had shoved his bag at him on their way out and he opened it to see his (well, Chowder’s) handwriting all over it and everyone is scribbling furiously around him and well… fuck, he’s inhabiting the guy’s body so he might as well try to take some notes for the kid so…

As of right now, he has managed to write: Java is… good. Or bad. Binary. Zeros. Remember to close your loops. Documentation. Loops splicing??

The class mercifully ends and he nods when Dex turns and tells him he had some good ideas for their project and then--

Then a girl is walking up to them and Kent looks behind him, praying to anyone who may be listening that that familiar smile and flirtatious wave is for someone who is standing right behind him but--

“Hey babe!” the girl says and of course, of course this guy has to have a fucking girlfriend.

“Uh, hi!” he says and tries to sound enthused and then she is leaning in for a kiss (one of those casual, “we’ve been dating for a long time and still really like each other so I’ll kiss you in public” kisses that Kent has only seen in movies) and then Kent Parson’s cheek has been kissed and this body blushes so easily he literally feels himself turning red.

He does not remember the last time someone has kissed him on the cheek.

Unless it is a female reporter doing a polite “meet and greet” sort of kiss.

This feels different.

“Are we still hanging out before your practice?” she asks.

“Oh, yeah, right,” he says. “Hanging out… for lunch. Lunch.”

Her face falls into a slight frown. “Don’t you usually do lunch with the team before?”

“Yeah. Yes. Now?”

“It’s 11,” she says, raising her eyebrows. “We have an hour to kill. I thought we were going to… you know. Hang out.”

She is smirking a bit and leaning closer and Kent turns around to see that Dex has conveniently disappeared and look, Kent is the first person to tell you that he is a fucking asshole but he is certainly not about to go fool around this girl while trapped in her boyfriend’s body.

“No!” he yelps, taking two steps away as if that will help. “I mean… uh- sorry. I- I don’t feel well. Actually. I’m going to… I have to… Sorry, I’ll see you later. I am… busy. So busy! Homework! And sick. I am both.”

And then he turns and basically runs away.

It is the least smooth Kent Parson has ever been.

But he tears out of the building and back to the Haus and thank god it is empty so he reaches for his--no Chowder’s--phone and calls himself and--

“HELLO!”

Kent Parson has never been so thrilled to hear his own voice in his entire life.

“Chowder?”

“KENT PARSON! OH MY GOD-- IT’S CHRIS CHOW I AM IN YOUR BODY.”

“Shit, fuck. I know!” Kent says, his relief is coming out of him in the form of annoyance because he has had too much personal interaction today and he is scared and he wants his body back and-- “I’m in your fucking body!”

“I AM SORRY!”

“Stop yelling!” Kent says. “Stop just-- let’s calm down. We need to-- we need to fix this.”

“Right. Sorry. Sorry,” Chowder says. “I- I think this is my fault.”

“Wh-What? How?”

“Well, last night,” Chowder says. “Around 1AM my time so like… what is that 10pm your time? There was a shooting star and I-- well I wished on it. Did you see it?”

“No,” Kent replies. “Why the fuck would I wish on a goddamn star?”

“I didn’t think it would work,” Chowder says. “I just-- I wished!”

“To take over my body??” Kent replies.

“No! No I just… I wished to play in the NHL! To play the Sharks! So I’ve been thinking and… and I think that’s why this happened. To me, at least. I don’t… I don’t know why it would have been you that I switched with.”

Kent… Kent swallows and doesn’t say anything. Because he… he’s just remembered something. At 9pm… at 9pm he was home alone in his apartment and he’d… he might have accidentally wished something but it wasn’t a wish. It was more a passing thought and he--

“Well, whatever,” he says, roughly. “The point is we have to fix this.”

“I feel like we probably just need to meet up?” Chowder says. “Hold hands maybe?”

Kent wants to scoff at that idea but also he has somehow switched bodies with another human person so like… any idea is a good idea at this point.

“Alright,” he says. “Let’s meet up.”

“I’m about to get on a plane to San Jose!” Chowder says. “Or should I stay here?”

“Stay- fuck, no! You gotta- I can’t miss a game. Get on that plane. I’ll meet you in San Jose. I’ll buy a ticket.”

“Uh-- I don’t… my credit card isn’t going to handle that,” Chowder says. “Sorry.”

Kent blinks. He has… he has not thought of money in a long, long time. “Oh. Well. you buy me one. Or, I mean, I’ll-- use my credit card and go by a ticket for me. Eh, Chris Chow. Buy a ticket for you but use my card. Your card.”

“You’re sure?”

“Dude, we have to get switched back. Like… yesterday. It doesn’t fucking matter.”

“Oh! Okay! I’ll get you on like the first flight. Also… I… I owe you $15. I had to buy chinese food with your card.”

“Dude, you can--- you can buy whatever you want. Go crazy.”

Downstairs, the front door squeaks open.

“I gotta go,” he says. “Gotta go. Buy the ticket. E-mail me.”

“Wait! What’s your shape password!”

“It’s just an L! Backwards!”

“Backwards L. Got it! Okay! I’ll get you a ticket! Nice meeting you! I’ll take care of your body!!”

“Uh,you too?? Bye,” Kent says. And hangs up.

And wonders at the fact that his idle thought last night, the thought that flitted across his mind just as he flopped on his couch and poured himself a glass of whiskey, somehow got him here. Stuck in another man’s body.

He doesn’t know if the thought, if I wish I was just fucking happy, was worth it.

Chowder almost misses the flight. He has to purchase a ticket for himself (which is wild because Kent texts and tells him to make sure to get FIRST CLASS!! And then when Chowder tells him he doesn’t know how to get First Class only one way, Kent says “get it fucking both ways then) and then Kent texts him telling him to leave out extra food and water for Kit (who still has not stopped hissing btw) and all of that just takes longer than he thought. Asking for advice results in the following: “curse a lot and say you were a bit sick. It’s not ideal but whatever ill deal with it when we switch back”. It exactly the opposite of what he would do “apologize profusely and just tell the truth” but Chowder can see why “telling the truth” would not be ideal in this situation.

So he pretends he is in a horrible mood and limits his sorry to once per sentence and tries to curse more and the weird thing is, even after he says he’s sick, no one on the team really asks how he’s doing. They all just seem both a bit annoyed that he was so late he had to just meet them at the airport and relieved that he actually made it. Even when he says “sorry was throwing up, didn’t know if i could play!” the only question he gets is “you gonna be up for it?” and that’s it.

Well, Swoops orders him a ginger ale and sits next to him on the plane but it… it’s very different.

Then it occurs to him that Kent is the captain. Maybe the team is waiting for him to say something? Before the fun starts? Even Jack used to try to say something. Now Ransom and Holster give full on speeches.

He decides to start with Swoops. But pitched a little bit so that the others can hear. Sometimes that’s how Ransom and Holster start.

“Man, this is gonna be fucking awesome,” he says (trying not to smile too much, Kent had said not to do that). “Playing the Sharks!”

Swoops looks at him. “Uh. Yeah?”

“We’re going to do so awesome!” Chowder says. “Aren’t you just… we’re pretty fucking lucky, huh?”

Swoops is still looking at him like he’s a little bit crazy.

“I mean, think about it,” Chowder tries. “We’re the be- the fucking best hockey team and we get to go play another fucking awesome hockey and get paid for it! And we’re gonna play really well. I can just tell.”

Two other Aces plays are twisting in their seat to look at him.

“I’m really proud of us,” Chowder says. “We’re having a great fucking season. This is gonna be amazing.”

This must not be how Kent gives his speeches. He is getting a lot of stares and not any nods.

“Parse, you sure you didn’t hit your head or something?” one of them finally says.

“Uh,” Chowder says. “No. No I’m just… excited?” He makes it a question. “Excited as shit?”

People don’t really say anything. Just turn back around and put their headphones in and turn back to their devices.

Huh.

“Well, that’s a bit different,” Swoops finally says. “From your usual.”

“My usual?” Chowder tries.

“You know,” Swoops shrugs. “Right before we go out, you say something like ‘Alright, boys, let’s fucking do this.’”

“Oh,” Chowder says. “Uh, well, figured I’d… mix it up.”

Swoops still looks confused but he smiles just a little. “Alright, bro. Whatever.”

Then he’s looking back at his phone too.

Chowder sighs.

He needs to get back to his team.

Kent needs to get back to his team. Immediately.

The earliest flights to San Jose weren’t till this evening and while he’d fed everyone the agreed upon lie (“My little sister is getting her wisdom teeth out and really wants me to be there”) and they had accepted it because he’d be back by Sunday, there was no real reason for him to miss practice.

Which Kent wasn’t worried about at first. Hockey was hockey. He might have even looked forward to smoking these guys a little bit just for fun.

Then he found out.

Chowder is the goalie.

This is… he is dying.

It’s not that the body can’t do it either-- the squat position isn’t as bad as he thought it would be, uncomfortable, yes, but not like… super painful probably because Chowder is used to it, and once he’d warmed-up (or he thought he did, he was really just trying to copy the movement he’s seen goalies do his whole life), Chowder was also pretty crazy flexible but… he.

Fuck, being a goalie is fucking miserable.

People keep fucking hitting pucks at him and they are coming right toward his face so he keeps flinching and there’s no way anyone could have saved that shot, it was going to fast, they are all going too fast and he--

“Dude, are you feeling okay?” The one called Nurse asks him. “You… you look sorta green.”

“And you’re playing like shit, to be honest,” Dex tells him.

“Fuck off,” Kent mumbles. And then remembers that Chowder’s instructions were to “just be nice and friendly and stop Dex and Nurses from killing each other and eat lots of pie and wait, holy shit, do not go anywhere near Caitlyn. Especially in the afternoon!! Or mid-morning!! OR ANYTIME. DO NOT BE ALONE WITH CAITLYN!!!!”

“I-uh- just not feeling great,” he says. “Uh, thanks for asking??” He tries to keep the question mark out of his voice but it might come out anyway.

Thankfully, a moment later Ransom and Holster sort of exchange glances and change the drill to stick handling instead of taking actual shots and Kent thinks he’s gotten out of it when suddenly Eric R. Bittle is skating up to him.

Fuck.

He doesn’t want to deal with this.

But Chowder’s instructions regarding Bitty had been clear: “We love Bitty! And Ransom and Holster and everyone but Bitty is ESPECIALLY awesome because he makes pies and is really nice and-- oh he has a boyfriend that, uh, well I know about him but you don’t and I don’t want to--” Kent had texted back “I know.” and Chowder had replied “oh good!! Isn’t that great??”

Yeah. Great. This was all great. It was great that Jack had moved on and didn’t care about him and probably never cared about him, he was just the convenient dude on the team willing to blow him and god he was so desperate for it and actually thought Jack liked him--loved him even, thought that they were going to do it all, have it all, be the secret boyfriends in the NHL and then fucking come out in some spectacular fashion after they were both rich and famous and fucking legends and--

Yeah. It’s great. It’s great that Jack’s boyfriend, who is even smaller and cuter and just plain better than him is skating over to talk to him. While he is stuck in Chris Chow’s body. A guy who fucking loves Bitty.

Christ, he wants a drink.

“Hey,” Bitty says, voice all quiet and understanding.

“Hi!” Kent tries. It comes out too cheerful for the mood. He… fuck, he doesn’t know how to do this. Chowder had said to be happy.

Bitty stares at him… “are you okay?”

People on this team need to stop fucking asking that question all the time. Though, he did just have a fucking horrible practice so… fair.

“Oh, yeah,” he tries. “Just… you know. Feeling a bit off.”

“Look, Chowder, I know last game was rough but it really wasn’t your fault.”

Kent nods. He had gathered over the course of the day that Samwell had lost last night.

“And today’s practice…” Kent braces himself to be yelled at. “Everyone has off days. It’s no big deal.”

Kent… does not remember the last time he heard those words.

“Uh, yeah,” he says. “Thanks.”

“You can’t be so hard on yourself. We’re a team. Win together and lose together.”

That is not how the Aces work. Not really. He doesn’t say anything but luckily Bitty seems willing to continue.

“I know you are flying out today but when you get back, I’ll make you your favorite pie,” Bitty says. Kent forces himself to smile.

He won’t be back though. Not for the pie or the next game.

Or any of it.

He tells himself that’s for the best.

Alright, I think this is getting to be around like 3 or 4k now so let’s skip forward a bit.

Chowder gets to San Jose. Luckily it is a night game so he has the morning pretty free. He just needs to make it through a brief strategy meeting and then he can meet up with Kent at 11.

Kent takes the red-eye and lands in San Jose in the morning. He… he realizes he is hunching his shoulders and wearing the only pair of sunglasses he could find and he is tense moving through crowds of people because the Sharks have made San Jose a hockey town and he is a famous hockey player except--

Except he’s not.

He… he straightens. No one is looking at him.

No one wants an autograph. No one is trying to take a picture. No one is yelling at him.

He is… He can do whatever he wants.

Well. not really. He can’t go shopping, so that’s out but he ends up walking through a park like some sort of total loser and staring off at a lake and he can just be outside and be peaceful and he would have thought he would get bored but he didn’t. When 11am rolled around and he headed off to meet Chowder, he is almost disappointed.

He goes to the restaurant and grabs a table for two in the way back and ten minutes later, he has the absolutely bizarre experience of watching himself walk in the door.

Chowder has a hat drawn low over his eyes and Kent’s biggest sunglasses on and he is hunched over and frankly dives into the door and then skips to the back and--

Kent didn’t know his face could smile that widely.

“HI!!!” Chowder says and this is weird. It’s somehow even weird to see him. “Oh my god!!”

“Holy fucking shit,” Kent says and sees himself as Chowder blink. It’s possible Chowder isn’t used to seeing Kent’s smirking smile on his own face either. For some reason the thought makes Kent’s smirk break into something easier. “How’s it going?”

“Dude,” Chowder grumbles, taking off the hat and the sunglasses. “I’m not gonna lie, people suck! Four people yelled at me to “go die!” on the way here!”

Kent laughs. “Well, the Sharks do hate the Aces, man,” he says. “I try not to go out too much while I’m here.”

“I mean, I’m a Sharks fan as much as the next guy,” Chowder says, plopping into the seat. “But I think telling someone to ‘go die’ is a bit much.”

Kent shrugs. It’s become pretty par for the course for him.

“Also, dude, I tried to make sure you looked good but I cannot- you have this weird cowlick at the top of your head and I cannot get it to stay down” Chowder is patting it as he says it and Kent can’t help but laugh again.

“Dude, don’t worry about it. It’s impossible. I usually just wear hats.”

“Gotcha,” Chowder crams the hat back on his head, backwards this time as if he has just remembered Kent wears it that way. Kent can’t stop staring. This is weird as fuck. “Well how did it go at Samwell?”

“Uh, good,” Kent replies. “Well, everything thinks you are real upset cause I tried to just… not talk. I mean, I tried to be nice! But it didn’t… Bitty is making you your favorite pie when you get back.”

“Oh swawesome!”

“Yeah, and uh-- well Caitlyn might be a little mad at you too,” Kent admits. “I… I had to sort of… run away from her?”

“You what?”

“She came up and wanted to hang out and we hadn’t talked yet but she was… you know, man, she was giving me the eyes!”

“She does do the eyes,” Chowder agrees.

“She also… she did kiss me on the cheek,” Kent says. “Well, you- she kissed you on the cheek before I could run away.”

“Did she grab your butt?”

“What? No!”

“She does that! She likes my butt.”

“Dude,” Kent says, relaxing more than he thought he would. “She wanted to hang out in the middle of the day on a Friday is that… are you really… that often?”

For the first time, Kent’s face looks familiar as Chowder smirks just a little. “The team thinks we go on all sorts of cutesy dates.”

Kent laughs.

“Last month, I told them we walked over to the petting zoo like four times and they bought it! Except for Dex. I think Dex is onto us.”

“Oh about Dex, he might be mad at you too. He kept wanting to work on some… project? I tried to take notes for you.”

“You did!! Ah, thank you!”

“No,” Kent says. “Really, do not thank me. It did not go well that is-- you have to do that shit every day and then play hockey?”

“Ugh, it sucks,” Chowder says. “You should see us during finals.”

“I thought college athletes just like… fucking paid some nerd to do that shit.”

“Nope,” Chowder says, sighing a little like he wishes it were true. “Not at Samwell. But it’s alright! I really like coding!”

Luckily Kent is saved from having to respond to that by the waitress coming over. They are at some sort of Asian fusion place that had good reviews and is nearby the stadium and he goes to order his usual when--

“Wait, wait,” Chowder (as Kent) says. “Dude, before we switch” (the waitress looks confused) “you gotta try real food. Get--” and then he is off, ordering, and then Kent has to tell him that with his game tonight, he should probably only eat certain things and Chowder looks crestfallen but when the waitress walks off and Kent asks if they should just get it over and hold hands now, Chowder insists that he wants Kent to be able to eat something good for once in his life and--

The whole lunch ends up being a lot less awkward than it should be. Considering they’ve been walking around in each other’s bodies and talking to each other’s friends (well, he’s been talking to Chowder’s) and they’ve both showered so like… there’s not that many secrets between the two anymore.

Still, instead of being awkward, Chowder tells him that he is pretty sure the cat somehow knows and did nothing but hiss at him all day and that warms Kent’s heart a little (and his face because my god, why does Chowder’s body blush so easily???) and then Chowder tells him about how he tried to order Chinese food and died and Kent tells him that being a goalie is fucking terrifying and all about the notes he did manage to take and--

“I’ve never been able to do a split before,” Kent says as he scoops another bite of food into his mouth. He never knew spices could be so delicious. “It’s pretty cool. And also this food is fucking awesome.”

“Swawesome!” Chowder says. “If you’re gonna be me, you gotta say ‘swawesome a lot.”

“That’s so fucking lame,” Kent says but then his own face is pouting at him and-- “Fuck. Fine. ‘Swawesome.”

Chowder nods at him regally.

This is when it occurs to Kent that, despite it all, he’s actually had a pretty good time in Chowder’s body. Sure, he had had to run away from Caitlyn and go to class and being a goalie is terrible, but he… this body is in good shape and can eat any food it wants and he got to go to the park and be outside and-- Well, his body he knows for a fact was probably hungover and sore because it’s mid hockey season and people had told Chowder to “go die” so--

“Dude, sorry,” Kent says. Chowder blinks at him. “I mean… about getting stuck being me. That probably sucked.”

“I do think you need to do a better job of stretching,” Chowder says. “And icing. And your shoulder… does it always feel like this?” He rotates it backwards and winces.

“Yeah,” Kent admits. “I mean, it gets better in the offseason but towards the end like this… one too many checks into the boards I guess. Doesn’t affect my play at all though so… y’know. It’s fine.”

Chowder looks doubtfully at him. Kent shrugs. That’s the other thing. It has been pretty nice to be in a body that is only sore instead of… damaged. He knows the difference.

“And… the hangover on Friday,” he says with a wry smile. “Sorry about that one too.”

Chowder nods, looking at his plate for a second, and then--

“You know,” he starts. Kent tense automatically. Feels trapped when Chowder looks up and meets his eyes. “You don’t need it.”

Kent blinks. “Need what?”

“Alcohol,” Chowder says. “Your body… you-- the whole time I was in here, I didn’t have any urge to… you know, drink or anything. Just in case you were worried.”

Kent… Kent was not worried he was actually an alcoholic--he… he wasn’t really he just.

“Oh,” he says, clearing his throat. “Well that’s… good.”

So it was still just a mental thing. Cool. Perfect. Great.

“And you didn’t drink while you were in mine,” Chowder says.

“What? No,” Kent says. He wasn’t going to do that to someone else’s body.

“So you probably don’t need it at all,” Chowder concludes, looking back at his plate as if this is simple and he has solved it. “Just a bad habit.”

“Yeah,” Kent says. “Yeah, I guess… just a bad habit.”

He has no idea why but that makes him feel better.

So by unspoken agreement they finish eating and then sort of linger but finally, “Well,” Kent says. “I guess we better switch back.”

“Hah-- unless you want me playing the Sharks tonight!”

“If you didn’t play goalie, I would totally let you,” Kent says. “Make that wish come true.”

“Nah, I’d rather play them… you know as me. One day.”

Kent nods and then reaches across the table but Chowder sort of frowns at him and stands up and before kent can ask, Chowder is waving for him to do the same and then--

Then Kent Parson is being hugged by… well by his own body technically and he knows he’s described as “small for a hockey player-- all sharp angles and lean muscle” so he’s assumed that he would not be that great a hugger but he feels nice enough now and Chowder’s body must have some sort of “hug instinct” because his arms come up and wrap around Chowder easily and it’s a really nice hug, if he’s being honest.

He relaxes and closes his eyes and when he opens them, he’s staring at Chowder’s face.

Which means he’s back in his own body.

“Oh my god, thank goodness!” Chowder says while Kent is stretching a little bit, getting used to his usual aches and pains. “I’m the right height again! You are so fucking short, dude!”

“I am literally like one inch shorter than you.”

“Still!”

And then, now, for the first time-- it’s a little awkward. They… the transaction is finished. There’s no longer a reason for them to keep talking.

“Well,” Chowder says. “I-uh-- I guess I better get going. You have a game and I’m gonna go surprise my parents.”

“Yeah,” Kent says. And then remembers and thank goodness he’s beaten the blushing out of this body (his real body) long ago. “Also, I uh-- I logged into my e-mail account from your phone and, well, I got you 4 tickets. Box seats. To the game tonight. If you wanted.”

Chowder’s eyes are widening. “You… you did???”

“Well, you know, this screwed up your weekend and uh-- as a thank you. For...being me?”

“THIS IS AMAZING!!” Chowder says and then Kent is being hugged again and he-- Chowder is like no one he has ever met.

“So I’ll-- I’ll see you tonight, I guess,” Kent says, twisting his hat around and putting on his sunglasses. “There’s passes included to meet the players, since I figured… you know… Sharks.”

Chowder looks like he may cry and body switching or not, Kent is not down for that so he smirks, and nods, and walks out the door.

THE END.

I mean… basically the end.

Really, you know this is the start of an epic friendship and Kent starts buying nicer clothes and sending them to Chowder but then also sends a Parson Ace’s jersey and Bitty glares at it for days and does not seem to buy Chowder’s excuse of “Met Parse when I went up to San Jose and he was actually a cool dude!” and Chowder and Kent keep on texting and Kent sends Chowder a picture of Kit curled up on him with the captain “See! She is nice-- she is just also a genius and knew you were an imposter” and THIS FRIENDSHIP MAKES NO SENSE to ANYONE but it is happening anyway and-

I HAVE GOT TO STop THERE. Any future kent/chowder friendship will have to be on a DIFFERENT POST.

Thank you for reading this mess.

I hope you enjoyed it.

(does a part of me ship chowder/parse now?? Maybe, my dudes, maybe so.)

(was this all a mistake?? Same answer, my dudes, maybe so.)

[fanartshmanart]

Thinking about how in media the story of a queer person with a conservative family is always either 1. They are scared to come out but when they do their family magically accepts them or 2. They completely leave their family after their family rejects them and have a good happy life with their SO, and never about people who know they're gay but never come out because they're terrified of what their family would say, or who choose to have a het-passing relationship so that they can still have a relationship with their family, or people who come out and it's kind of okay but also kind of not, people who know their family loves them but also knows that their parents pray for them every night to stop being who they are.

The ultimate goal of a queer person is not to come out of the closet. We don't all get magically accepted, the closet is there for a reason and it's safe and it's sometimes the best option. And it's okay to be in the closet. It's okay to never come out, because sometimes you'll never feel safe enough to and that's okay and doesn't make you a "bad" gay. You're not any less you for protecting yourself.

[freebooter4ever]

So what if Jack and Parse coordinated halloween costumes in 2014?

Ok, hear me out, I've been following the comic on/off since year one and recently finally finished year four and then bought like all the huddles/chirp book etc, so apologies if this has already been discussed but its been killing me all day so i had to. Some conspiracy levels of analysis under cut :P

In the official canon comic timeline we never actually see halloween 2014, correct? We just get bitty's tweets about it and the absolutely ADORABLE picture of him in his sweeney todd costume and jack in his Cat(!!!!) costume. And like, bitty's tweets suggest that everyone is super confused that jack showed up in costume for once and nobody knows where he got the idea or the cat ears. MEANWHILE in the huddle (which ive chopped into pieces and made a low res version bc please support artists and go buy the actual pdf!!) we see kent in tacky mouse ears, and very familiar whiskers/nose facepaint. Kent's saying ‘its a group costume’ to someone. When I first downloaded the huddle months ago this utterly baffled me like...what ‘group costume’ would involve a mouse?

Anyway then the tragic epikegster happened and we all know who showed up but we don't know why kent picked then of all times.

This next part is all conjecture cause of course i have ideas \o/ because what better ‘group costume’ than ‘cat’ and ‘mouse’ am i right???

1) the slightly weirder but fits with canon theory is that jack came up with the cat costume on his own and kent being his creepily obsessed self saw the photo on twitter, and since east coast is in a later time zone than vegas that would give kent time to throw together a shitty mouse costume as his own kinda sick joke. This is the kent ‘failing at life spectacularly’ parson theory.

2) assuming that kent and jack exaggerated slightly on the ‘jack cut off all contact after the draft’ story, it would make sense that kent was trying to call jack about joining the vegas Aces even before kent showed up at the haus. So say kent's trying to sweet talk him into it and being conversational and all and casually asks about jack's halloween plans and finds out that jack's bought some dumb cat ears bc he's a cheap boring dude who clearly hates halloween (why are bittle and kent obsessed with this guy again?). And kent jokingly is like ‘going as a cat, are you? well then i'll be the mouse’ with his trademark smirk. Which is a fun role reversal with the whole kent trying to lure jack into his professional hockey team and all. And also we totally know kent wants to be caught by jack haha ;_; why. And these two are so dysfunctional its so great. I also love the idea of two old friends still having that kind of ‘you have to be us to get it’ connection and inside jokes. Cause parse is obviously at a party where everyone around him doesn't understand why the heck he's dressed as a mouse (i imagine its not a typical hockey player halloween costume), which implies that the person he's doing a ‘group costume’ with is not at the party...probably because he's at samwell...making shitty's day/year/life and flirting with a homicidally in love baker.

ANYWAY im so sorry for all this nonsense, please don't take any of it too seriously. I'm just having too much fun thinking of old estranged friends who are supposed to be rivals and fighting, secretly reconnecting and spontaneously thinking up cat and mouse ‘group costumes’ so they can be together but not really together right under everyones nose. ;_; (also if my second theory is something like what happened...jack...that means parse embarassed himself and went as a mouse to a party alone just to tease you with it...that boy is DEFINITELY NOT OVER YOU)

[chucktaylorupset]

There's gotta oughtta be a fic where Kent Parson getting stuck dimension hopping, thinking that he's been given a second chance to make things right with Jack but actually he's supposed to be learning to let Jack go but he can't accept that so he keeps fucking it up. 

And so Kent wakes up and lives through a version of reality where Jack never overdosed and Kent's a Falconer.  He lives through a version where Kent managed to convince Jack to come play with him on the Aces.  There's a version where Jack's overdose disabled him in a way that means he can't play hockey so he lives with Kent in Vegas. 

But no matter where they go, Jack keeps rejecting him or breaking up with him, and then always Bitty eventually shows and becomes Jack's soulmate or whatever and it ruins things or that's how Kent considers it to be happening. 

And Kent is just slowly driving himself crazy for no reason because he can't bring himself to change, he can't bear the realization of what his actual problems are and what that would mean for what he has to do. He's stuck in this all or nothing mentality and he's wrapped Jack up in it as the panacea or poison that will cure all or curse all of his problems, so if he can't get with Jack then he'll never have a romantic partner or be able to be his queer and authentic self

and so he can't accept that this person will grow beyond him and by holding onto the past he makes it impossible for there to be room for any new forms of self and relationship to grow.

Meanwhile imagine your favorite Parson pairing brunette just slightly off center stage, waiting in the wings for their cue, the universe almost literally shoving him into Parson's arms and its only his obsession with Jack that makes Parse too blind to see it.

[camilliar]

recs for someone new to omgcp

[February 2021.]

Reading, or not reading, OMGCP fics has come up in a couple of conversations I’ve had recently with artists newish to the fandom (ie. @jovishark; @decafffff), who are making OMGCP art (!!!) but haven’t started exploring fic -- but maybe want to? Which of course reminded me that I’ve never bothered to make an actual, concrete recs list for this fandom. So, I mean. Here is one.

The approach is, what do I think about when I think about OMGCP fanfic? What comes to mind, what stands out to me? I have excluded some very popular fics. Some of these I just don’t think are very good, and others I do think are good, and/or I enjoy them, but I don’t see why you’d need me, specifically, to recommend them. I am thinking of a story like maybe i’m waking up, which I discuss below because I link to a podfic of it. It has a lot of merits, to be sure, but it’s the second-most-read fic in this fandom by hits, and it’s got thousands of comments, and it’s by an author whose work is relatively widely praised and circulated. I am not sure what telling you more about this fic will add to the conversation; if you want to find and read it, you inevitably will. I’m happy to, say, answer asks about these kinds of fics, or talk more generally about them via DM or whatever. Feel free.

Also, I don’t think there’s a point to pretending to be objective about fanfic; this list has a perspective and that perspective is mine. In this fandom I largely read stories that navigate the tension around Jack, Bitty, and Parse, in various permutations. This is not to say that I’ve never read fic about the frogs, or that I have no interest at all in other pairings, but I am by no means an expert on Dex/Nursey and can really only speak to the one fic about them that sticks out to me because it goes beyond being merely Dex/Nursey and does something else. This is just to say that I am sure there are great and interesting fics about other things and ideas--but I’m not the person to hear about those from.

Likewise, I’m not super interested in stories that really reproduce that which is already in OMGCP. I like Zimbits--albeit maybe not in the ways or for the reasons most fans would--but I do not really need to see endless iterations of the same story about them falling in love and being cute together. I don’t think these stories are bad or they shouldn’t exist or that they have no merit by default. Still, I don’t need fanfic to give me more OMGCP. I need fanfic to complicate, to comment on, and to transform OMGCP. Many people don’t work like this! Totally okay! But I can’t rec you fics that do that.

What I have noticed, however, is that over time there appears to have been a shift in how people do write fic for this fandom. (Other than, you know, increases and decreases in activity pending the status of the comic, pairings going in and out of vogue, and so on.) Early on, say during Y1 and Y2, the comic was about the group of friends having a cool time at college together; about whether the burgeoning attraction between Jack and Bitty would manifest and, if so, how; and, especially, Jack’s past coming into fuller view for Bitty and how it would have to be dealt with in order for a relationship between them to work. YMMV on how great the comic executed there, but as Y3 went on these themes increasingly disappeared from the story. I think this means a lot of fic written over 2015-2016 or 2017 has one kind of tone, and was written mostly around these questions; after that, it feels like a new crop of writers and a new crop of ideas started circulating, that is, either embracing Jack and Bitty’s canon relationship and accepting its relative straightforwardness in text--or deconstructing it, imagining what readers aren’t seeing, or how problems not dealt with in the comic would manifest later. People who have read my fic know which of these I’m mainly interested in exploring.

All of which is to say, looking at what I’m reccing here, when the fics were posted or when I first read them probably has a lot to do with why they stick out to me so much. Because there’s no real culture of fanfic criticism--and I mean that in the positivist sense of broad evaluation not explicitly for fault and merit but rather, for context--I think it’s really hard to keep this in mind. But I’m obnoxious and I can’t just be easy about things.

Fic recs

In alphabetical order, somewhat unsorted; if a stand-alone fic has a summary I’ve included it, but in other cases I’ve recced a couple of conceptually related fics or series, which I’ve tried to just describe or explain as opposed to copying the summary off AO3.

There are so many more fanfics I think are great and worth reading! In an ideal world I’d come back and add more later, or create a secondary list that’s more along the lines of “if you like this, read these,” or whatever. But, being realistic, this is a starter kit. I’m open to talking about fanfic.

- - - - - - - - - - -

7-0-2 by Idday; Friends in Low Places and Sorry for the Blood in Your Mouth; I Wish it was Mine by blue_rocket_frost | I’m not sure it would be correct to say that I don’t like Parse/Tater, or that I’m not interested in Parse/Tater. I’m not interested in Patater a priori; I think it could be interesting, with teeth. These fics stick out to me when I think about this pairing, because they feel different. Accusations of a preference for just linking any two white men who happen to be hanging around have validity, but because of what hockey is and how it works and who’s hanging around it, it’s not exactly a leap to imagine what kind of gritty spark the friction between two closeted NHL players would create. A little violence in your sex? A little sex in your violence.

A Sight Worth Seeing by sadtomato | A four-fic Jack/Bitty/Shitty/Lardo explicit BDSM series. Either you want that or you don’t. It’s nothing hardcore, and not properly a four-way, really; more properly a kind of voyeuristic round-robin. There’s a more open and egalitarian view of sex here than I really get from the characters in the back end of the comic. It’s an expansive, propulsive view of sex and relationships that’s really nice to see. I love Lardo's detached coolness, and Bitty as a smooth operator; if you’re looking for some kind of Dom/sub dynamics world, this really isn’t it, but it’s a lively exploration into the sexual dynamics in a group of friends that’s super close to the good-times vibe you get from Haus scenes in the first couple years of extras.

call me son (one more time) by Summerfrost, Verbyna, and blithelybonny | This is a series, incomplete, and you will love it or be massively put off by it. I mean that as a compliment. I love it. The premise is, Bob Zimmermann and Kent Parson have been having sex since Kent was, like, 19. Everyone in this story has been chewed up: by themselves, by each other, by hockey. Plainly, this is a pretty bleak view of what OMGCP, as a story, is supposedly offering. If you want fic that is dark and glamorous, treading the toxic melange of substance abuse, sex-as-sublimation, and so much money you can’t possibly throw all of it away without trying, this series has that sick-inducing shimmer to it. But, again, its strength is its examination of Kent Parson, textually and meta-textually, as someone to be projected onto. Bob, Alicia, Jack, and Bitty all impute certain feelings of their own onto him, displacing their own issues to a character who’s centralized in every fic but defies neat or total comprehension. Some critiques I’ve read of this series feel it’s too dark, and I’ve also seen it argued on FFA that an overwhelming amount of praise heaped onto these stories has made it tough for other writers to make headway in writing Bob/Kent fic. But I’m also not sure you could engage with Bob/Kent fic without going down this road at some point? I’m sure there are ways to scale it back, but ultimately it’s a story about how hockey’s violent, homophobic, old-guard gatekeeping has continued to set the terms for a younger and ostensibly less toxic culture. I fully embrace PWP fics that tread on the power dynamic without fully excavating it, but buried within any PWP is the fact that a 53-year-old man is ensnaring a 19-year-old, no matter how much the latter is, realistically, into it, and legally empowered to consent. Not to mention the dynamics of it being a 53-year-old man who is the father of the 19-year-old’s ex-boyfriend, and a 53-year-old man who is an eminence grise in the field the 19-year-old is trying to make a career in  The sexual element--the vaguely incestuous nature of it--is making textual the subtext of how hockey works, actually: objectification of teenage bodies as older men’s capital.

Coach Z by thistidalwave | Just before the 2009 NHL Entry Draft, tp prospect Jack Zimmermann overdoses on his anxiety medication and is admitted to rehab. His future turns from a clear-cut road to the top into an uncertain path filled with therapy appointments, ignored text messages, a group of boys who aren't there to teach him a lesson about himself, and, of course, hockey. | I keep reccing this fic because it has 360 comments on AO3 but nobody, as far as I can tell, has ever read it; it never appears on rec lists. This isn’t the kind of fanfic I usually go in for, but I can’t help being charmed by it. This is a character study in the truest sense, a kind of Mighty Ducks-but-better view on what Jack’s time coaching peewee hockey might have been like. I have no interest in kids and my own aesthetic is maybe a little darker than this, but I admire this story because it injects vibrancy into a period of Jack’s life that OMGCP has left largely unexplored, and so has the fandom. We know nothing about what made Jack want to go to college, nothing about how he spent his days in between juniors and Samwell. It posits a very sympathetic and patient Jack/Parse dynamic, showcasing the exact kind of ragged teenage push-and-pull that would have led to the circumstances we see in Parse I-III. The outside perspective Jack needs is largely present in an OFC who’s not a love interest. Super unique, somehow both engrossing and low-key.

#dirtbags by angularmomentum | A series that is a Kent Parson/Claude Giroux fuckfest with feelings. I’ve long suspected that Parse is popular in part because he is the character who most easily elides OMGCP with the actual NHL, or rather, NHL fandom; I think he made it appealing to write OMGCP fics where the NHL is a factor. Case in point, this series, which is basically “what if Kent Parson was a real hockey player and therefore part of NHL RPS”? I have only read some NHL RPS, so I’m not the person to assess accuracy, but what I do know is superstar IRL hockey players take turns here as the caricature fanfic versions of themselves, and since Kent Parson is already that, it’s great how seamlessly he integrates into their social fabric. Rambunctious energy peppered with regret and loss, but ultimately this series is farcical, and it doesn’t take its sentimental ending too seriously--which, good.

fated to pretend by nighimpossible | 5 Jack/Kent fics that Ransom and Holster dramatically reenact for the Haus + the truth. | As a fic format, 5+1 doesn’t usually work for me, but this one isn’t just front-loaded with five too-knowing vignettes; it then wraps up by using its +1 better than you might expect. Sometimes I talk about economy of fic, and this one exemplifies it. A zero-waste fic.

go ahead and move along by originally | "Leave, Parse," Jack says. Again. Or: Kent finds himself stuck in a time loop. | Kent Parson is trapped in a Groundhog Day scenario on the day of Epikegster. I’m sure you can imagine, just from that, what happens. And yet I think this fic is super entertaining, reserving some key surprises. What this story is doing is something a lot, and perhaps even the majority, of great Jack/Parse fic wants to do: digging into the question of just why this can’t work in comic canon. Most often this is approached from the past, by writing teenage Jack/Parse deep-dives that examine their lives mid-juniors, or by writing AUs where enough circumstances are shifted that it does work, or via future fics that posit enough growth has happened, and enough things have changed. But this fic makes Parse live the same bad day again and again, testing multiple theories about just how dependent on circumstance and incident real life actually is. Another day, another tone, 10 minutes sooner, not at all--you just can’t know why it didn’t work until you exhaust every possible variable. I worry that this rec has sucked the life out of the story, though--it’s so fun!

I Saw a Life and Strange Lovers by @bluegrasshole | Most AUs in this fandom seem to retell the story in a new setting or with some big detail change, following OMGCP’s rhythm beat-for-beat. I think of this as, “It’s the plot of Check, Please, but” -- they’re doing high school football? They’re acrobats? They’re a/b/o? They’re in a DIY punk band? And so on. These two stories are not that! They’re both 1950s AUs, each deeply felt, and yet hugely different from each other. I Saw a Life is about displacement and fragmentation, two sides of a similar but incongruent social critique; Strange Lovers is a finely wrought social drama about coal mining in Nova Scotia in the 1950s, centered around historical events. I suppose a theme on this rec list is something like, “I don’t even like this, but” -- yes, okay, I don’t even like Dex/Nursey, but--! This fic is so overwhelmingly complete, the AU laid out so carefully that the story breathes with all the background details informing the writing that aren’t actually, in the story; you just know they’re below the surface. (With the exception of one investigation of Jack’s character in a short, separate fic.) I Saw a Life, meanwhile, really tests the limits of the notion that Jack and Bitty are soulmates--not by calling it into question but by asking, rather innovatively, how the setting and place of the comic itself activates that.

Les Hivers de mon enfance by staranise | What do you do when hockey is the language of prayer for your soul, and also the toxic thing that almost killed you? 2009: Jack Zimmermann takes a mental health year. God knows he needs it. | Here’s a fic by someone who’s no longer around so much, but she felt ubiquitous in 2016-2019 OMGCP fandom. Before any of that, though, she wrote this one lovely fic about Jack’s pre-Samwell recovery. The author is Canadian and really irritated by hockey culture, and I think this fic benefits greatly because she is clear-eyed about Jack’s being caught in an exploitative system; it’s hockey he’s in recovery for, in a way. There’s an epistolary element that works for me, too. I read this early on in my time in OMGCP fandom and it really stuck with me.

Lysistrata? I Hardly Know Her! (by which I mean everything) by @tomatowrites | It feels somehow like cheating to recommend OMGCP fanfics by my OMGCP BFF with whom I make an OMGCP podcast where we talk about OMGCP. You know the fics I really want to rec, like truly the ones that speak to some kind of shared depravity, are the ones where Jack is miserably mpreg for the second time and accidentally lets his kid see Kent Parson’s Long John Silver’s shrimp scampi promo spot, which obviously would get twisted into a self-hating three-way. How many times do I have to rec this fic? As many as I need to, is my feeling. If you don’t know, Long John Silver’s is an American fast-food chain that sells, like, fried pollock sandwiches; it is nautical-themed; I have never eaten there; I don’t know where there is one; I don’t eat fried fish. (Shrimp, on the other hand?) All of which is to say that it takes a real genius to investigate a premise that far out. And while a lot of people almost certainly will start reading this humanity’s depths-themed sex scene and back the fuck out, readers with refined taste will note that Kent, the point-of-view character, is right there with you, despairing that he can’t help himself. And so long as you’re in that story collection, honestly, you’ll love petite gems like Jack is transmasc, Jack and Shitty play hockey in 18th-century England, and oh, right, he’s from Georgia. Tomato holds the distinction of being probably the gamest author I know in this fandom, just really like fearless in her pursuit of any range of concept she’s pushed to. (I can push her to?) See, for example, a sublime bandom AU; Bitty is cancelled for buying a maybe-unethically exported Roman fragment of a youth’s torso; or, god, the masterwork that is this future fic series where Jack keeps relapsing and Bitty exiles him to their guesthouse. Do I think you need to read a fic where Bitty is snide about the teen prostitute whose baby they’re adopting? Yes, I mean, he would be snide, don’t tell me he wouldn’t. I could go on, but my main thing here is, if I have to pick just one, I’m going to pick this Lysistrata fic. The premise, literally, is that Bitty reads the Lysistrata and it gives him ideas. Like most of Tomato’s OMGCP fic, it’s a stripping away of the comic’s polite fiction that Jack and Bitty could possibly attain the ideal it reaches in the comic without some kind of messy, efflusive breakdown. Life is like that, you see! Tricky. Like a lot of people, although it’s tough to say precisely how many, I have always intuited that maybe Bitty is kind of a natural top? But obviously when you meet him, as a literal virgin, it’s hard to see how he’d go from zero to self-actualization so neatly. This fic floats a theory, and it has a fun little side plot for Whiskey, something I never thought about or needed before Tomato built it out herein. In conclusion, BONUS: Dex’s gay lobster novel.

only fools rush in and the light of all lights by decinq | This person wrote of the nature of the wound, one of the early, formative Jack/Bitty fics that was oft-recced when I was getting into the fandom in 2016. It forms part of a larger series that deals deeply with how Jack has been shaped by his struggles (? I hate this word) with homophobia and his own mental health. It’s a picture of the character as you might have imagined him much earlier in the comic’s run. The formatting is atrocious and he author’s flair is what Tomato would call “AO3 house style.” It’s a voice that works great for her writing. I think it’s at its best in these shorter fics; the former is about Parse and Shitty stumbling into a relationship almost accidentally; the latter, an eerie PBJ vampire fic. I had begun writing a fic where Parse is a vampire early on in this fandom, only to read this and immediately quit, because you only need one, and this one’s all I need. The Parse/Shitty rare pair fic shares its exuberance with hockey RPS when it’s good: here’s how fun it can be when you’re young, rich, and jocular. And I don’t even like accidental marriage AUs, they’re usually boring, so that says a lot. By all means, read the wound fic; read the entire series. But these are highly unusual.

OVERDOSE and Oomph and a little spin-o-rama by jedusaur | None of these are long, or plotty, and they’re all a little experimental. OVERDOSE is an AU set in a world where you know how you’ll die, but no details; Oomph, a little fic where Jack hears hockey pucks talking to him. This is the kind of stuff I used to think I’d find in fandom forever, coming out of Lotrips lurking in the 2000s: short, zany bursts of energy that surprise and delight. a little spin-o-rama peers at Kent’s character through the grim reality of being the hypertalented superstar stuck on a dead-last team. All three are sparse and stylish in a way that’s really smart, practically economical.

Sowing Season by @agrossunderstatement | Parse and Zimms, Zimms and Parse. Kent Parson's life, from the Q, through his early years with the Aces, to Jack's senior year. Canon divergent. A story of love, loss, moving on, regressing, hockey, and found families of all kinds. | Effectively a novel, digging into Kent’s personal history, mostly concerning his life in juniors but expanding into his present, overlapping with the plot of OMGCP. I think there is room enough for endless speculations on what went down pre-canon; this one offers a fuller life for Kent than nearly any others, digging into him as a whole person rather than as a satellite to Jack or the plot of the comic. Which isn’t to say that the Kent/Jack stuff isn’t dealt with here; it explicitly is. But the fact of Kent Parson’s life, if we can begin to imagine it beyond mere text, would exist before, after, and alongside Jack; he gets to juniors without Jack, presumably, and he is the captain of a hockey team without Jack, and Pinkerton lays the foundation of Parse’s character within a junior hockey that Jack also inhabits, more so that Parse existing for Jack, so to speak. And I’m not implying this latter tactic is wrong; I have certainly employed it, and others have employed it to great impact and effect. But, still, the title of this series tells you what you ought to know: Kent and his story are the potentiality of OMGCP, up to a point; seeds being planted. Young hockey players, similarly. The question implied there is, what will be reaped? And the answer to the latter, in a sense, that reaping is a sort of violence. Which makes this series sound pretty heavy, but it’s not -- more like, realistic.

(tell everyone) you were a good wife by @queerofcups | The biggest problem with pretending that he doesn’t know that Kent Parson is fucking his husband is that Jack can’t tell Kent how grateful he is. | The ne plus ultra of PBJ triangulation; I’ve been squealing to the writer about how good it is since August, begging for behind-the-scenes insights, and I’d only do that if I really meant it. The precarious social fabric stretched across these three chapters is fraying before the reader’s eyes. The details are delicious, and I don’t want to spoil them, but they sing in chorus with the plot. My favorite OMGCP fics, honestly, remove the romance narrative guardrails that keep things in the comic itself humming along. I think Dann’s take is to ask who in this comic has power and what they would end up doing with it. (Or not doing, from another angle.) At one point, early on in its telling, OMGCP looked like it was going to be a story dealing with the compounded traumas of hockey’s discontents. Then, of course, it wasn’t. This is a fic that steps back and asks what the fallout of that oversight would be. But that’s just the moldering core of this fanfic; it’s actually embroidered, like I said, with glittering detail. The color of the suit Bitty wears to his wedding is burned into my brain. The gray manicure of a woman Jack knows. The ingredients in a cake. This is one of those fics I still haven’t reviewed because the thought of stacking everything I could say about it into mere AO3 comments is inadequate.

when you’re ready by megancrtr | The Aces’ director of communications gets the call at 3:13 a.m. Jack Zimmermann has withdrawn from the draft. | “What happened at the draft” is so mythological it gets asked in the comic proper, and I’ve never counted how many fics attempt to answer this question--from Kent’s point of view, even--but it’s gotta be, oh, hundreds. This story replays the situation from the perspective of an Aces staffer who just wants to do her job, and gets at the jarring discordance between the plot of OMGCP in its quest for social justice and the business of actual hockey. Important context is that this story was written around the time the comic was playing out the end of Y3 and start of Y4, and Bitty pointedly asked Jack the question, “why can’t we?” This story reframes the question as literal, rather than rhetorical. A sterling example of fanfic being a gloss on its source.

BONUS, podfics

hockeyed up | There are many things on Jack's mind. Namely: hockey, hockey, Bitty, hockey, anxiety, hockey, hockey, anxiety, Bitty, hockey, hockey, anxiety, and hockey. | A fic read aloud by its French-Canadian author. Also a relatively early OMGCP fanfic; composed while the first semester of Y2 was posting, the story suggests a version of OMGCP that was in some ways more and in other ways less complex than what it would turn into not long after. The real power of this podfic, however, is that it’s read by the writer, so you can hear the intended emphasis in every line. Also, because she’s French-Canadian, Sophie’s intonation is what I picture when I read or write dialogue for Jack.

maybe i’m waking up | It’s almost funny. All he ever wanted was to play hockey, to play in the NHL, to win the Cup. This—Samwell, the team, the Haus—was supposed to be just a detour, but now it feels more like a destination he failed to realize he’s already reached.(Or: Jack signs with the Falconers, graduates, and leaves. It's the hardest thing he's ever done. What comes after is even harder.) | Don’t get too excited; this isn’t finished. A podfic of probably the best-known, most-recced fic in OMGCP fandom. Striking for its use of metatext woven into the story, this is one of several early longform Jack/Bitty fics that posits that maybe Jack has a lot more development to undergo before he can really, truly, be okay--or be okay enough to be with Bitty? To be honest, this story strikes me now as too long, but the parts in it that work are effective beyond that which fanfic demands. Meanwhile, this audio version only covers six chapters, but it’s so slick, so well-realized, so true to the story. Podfic as art.

my own dear friends | Ever since the day he met Jack Zimmermann, Shitty has seen it as his solemn duty to aggressively love him. (He just didn't know how aggressive the love Jack needed would be.) | There’s previous little Jack/Shitty in this fandom and a lot less quality BDSM,

the city’s ours until the fall | Kent has been, historically, good at this—forgetting about things until suddenly he doesn’t, and then it’s like the scar has never been there in the first place, just the wound. (Or: Kent Parson lets himself be happy, after all this time.) | I’ve never read this fic and I never will. I cannot imagine how, no matter how good it is, it could compare to the version that lives in my head, with Kent’s voice so totally realized. Vocal fry and pathos, a languid energy that I still think about when I think about Parse.

the model home | It’s going to be better, and that’s great, but sometimes Jack thinks, why can’t it be good right now? | j/k j/k, this is a self-reminder to finally one day review this.

[bittlicious]

mari’s omgcp fic reqs (:

some fics i’ve read lately and that i’m totes in luv with <3

— zimbits

i. you’re my amen, zimbits, by @/julibean19 https://archiveofourown.org/works/12801069/chapters/29218386

this crazy, 100k+ word zimbits fanfiction is just absolutely amazin. it has all of its highs and lows, and an insane plot twist that left me speechless and broken. but don’t be frightened! it has a happy ending, because that’s what our gay hockey boys deserve. also bitty is so absolutely amazin in this fanficion, my face hurts from smilin at him all of the time (: ps. shitty in this fic is just, like, absolutely hilarious and a friend that you just need in your life. he calls jack “mon petit fromage” (my little cheese) and i couldn’t breathe for like ten minutes after first readin. 

ii. bitty of goose lake, zimbits, by @/itsybitsybitty https://archiveofourown.org/works/17622797/chapters/41548541

this totally awesome and interestin 37k word au is everythin i love in a fanfiction. without givin away spoilers, jack is.. kind of in a honked up situation, and bitty jus loves his emotional support goose that eats all his pies and sometimes hugs him when he’s feelin sad. i’ve reread this fanfiction religiously and it never gets old. 

— patater

iii. put on my shoes and run away, patater, by @/maraudeer https://archiveofourown.org/works/27466612

YOOOOO KENT PARSON GETS THERAPY MOTHERFUCKERSSSSSSS!!! i’d call that a fuckin W. this 7k word oneshot is the cutest soulmate au i’ve ever read! and i LOVE soulmate aus, let me tell y’all. alexei and kent are jus the cutest together and along the journey of realization that their shared dreams have been with each other, alexei is the softest human being ever. did i mention how much i love alexei? gosh!

iv. two feet in front of me, patater, by @/maraudeer https://archiveofourown.org/works/17665718/chapters/41664608

i mean, babes, it’s a 19k word bachelors au. what else is there to say? alexei’s a gay mess and we’re ALL here for it. also i jus really love kent parson in this story, don’t know why. (we alr know i’m a kinnie,, movin on-) 

— nurseydex

v. everyone wonders what it’s like to be loved by you, nurseydex, @/jennycaakes https://archiveofourown.org/works/29450085/chapters/72342033

okay!! so i don’t really know what hang the dj is or what the au is inspired by but it doesn’t really matter in the grand scheme of things (: basically it’s an incredibly angsty (i mean what do you expect with nurseydex, dudes?), cute story!! EESH CAN I BE ANYMORE BLUNT UHH it’s cute and fuCK IM BAD AT THESE THINGS !!!!! 

vii. love finds you, nurseydex, @/hockeysometimes, poindextears https://archiveofourown.org/works/22089940/chapters/52718095

i searched through 29 out of the 45 pages of my archive of our own history to find this fuckin book and anyways. OKAY this 200k+ word fic (please it’s worth it) is amazin nd i know the entire plot nd have read it more than thrice and please it’s so good. basically nursey loses motivation and goes for a nice drive and OOPS he ends up 60 years in the past and meets closeted cutie dex. kent parson is my favourite thing about this fic please and the side zimbits is absolutely fuckin adorable. i think abt this fic religiously.

— pimbits

viii. the camera tells secondhand lies, bitty/kent/jack, @/summerfrost https://archiveofourown.org/works/11199471/chapters/25011333

HOLY SHIT IT’S A BIG BROTHER AU SIDUFHG. i. love. THIS. i think about it ALLLLL of the time!!! kent’s super swag and i absolutely love jack’s character in this. bitty’s also rlly horny but like it’s fine cuz i would be too if i was near kent parson for longer than an hour.

— honourable mentions

all hail the underdogs, nurseydex, @/xiaq https://archiveofourown.org/works/15446814/chapters/35854725

do i even need to explain?

and i’m so furious (at you for making me feel this way), nurseydex, @/dharmainitiative https://archiveofourown.org/works/15194981

nurseydex hogwarts au WHICH!!! i don’t agree with the houses. dex is a slytherin and that is FINAL.

crossed wires, nurseydex, @/lecrivaineanonyme https://archiveofourown.org/works/8258459

another fic i think about religiously. bro it’s a dex!best buy au. he works at BEST BUY!!! i agree

love and insomnia, zimbits, @/wrathoftthestag https://archiveofourown.org/works/25391977/chapters/61573672

it’s a 2020 fic where zimbits meet during quarantine and it’s just adorable. also it makes me sad cuz the author wrote like an ending without covid-19 anymore and it made me sad cuz like,,, i need an ending pls

<3

[maeve-of-winter]

not at all here to change ur mind about Kent and chara because we know chara to be a softy off the ice and taking pictures of pigeons to post on social media of course he’s there for this hurt but feral blonde kitten coming into the league lost and hurt

Aw, it makes me so happy to think that other people ship Kentara! Lol, yes, Kent is the feral kitten, and Chara is the gentle giant who takes care of him and lets him cry on his shoulder in Boston when Kent's visits to Samwell end in disaster.

Also, please have this unfinished Kent/Chara WIP:

Everyone in the League knew the story of Kent Parson and Jack Zimmermann. Between Zimmermann being the son of a hockey legend and an award-winning actress, the two of them being rumored to be lovers, and the two of them slated to be top draft picks of their year, culminating in Parson actually being the top draft pick, it was a story that had the hockey world spellbound for weeks. Personally, Zdeno found the fixation on the Zimmermanns’ and Parson’s pain to be both invasive and morbid. Every time he caught a glimpse on TV of some TMZ gossipmonger staking out the Aces prospect camp hotel and then badgering Parson with questions about his feelings on Zimmermann’s condition, he was flooded by renewed disgust.

The Bruins had the dubious privilege of being more familiar with the Parson-Zimmermann saga than anyone else; one of their first-year players for the season was Jordan Caron, who’d played on Parson and Zimmermann’s line in Juniors. The more gossipy of the Bruins (read: Marchy) took full advantage of this connection to attempt to scrounge up details that the press had left uncovered.

“What was he like?” Marchy asked as they stripped off their gear after practice. “Was he, like, an obvious cokehead? Coming to practice high, stuff like that?”

Caron shrugged, and even watching from the corner of his eye, Zdeno could spot the obvious discomfort on his face. “No, nothing like that. He was just an intense guy, you know? He really wasn’t like anyone who you thought would be using. Between them, Parson was the guy who liked to party. I mean, if I’d heard that one of the two of them overdosed without knowing who. . .”

Marchy and several of the younger guys continued to pester Caron with questions, but only until the end of that practice, when Chara firmly told them to knock it off, and they immediately obliged.

Whatever the gossip about Parson, whatever anyone had to say about what he did back in Juniors, no one could deny that he was a phenomenal player on the ice. It wasn’t just that he was good with the puck, either. It wasn’t just that he could score and make it look boring because it came so easily to him. He had speed. During the Olympics, Chara always made a point of watching the speed skaters, following their movements during each event and talking to them later to ask them about their techniques, hoping to improve his own skills. Chara was always conscious of needing to improve himself, always ready to give credit where it was due, so he would readily volunteer that seeing Parson effortlessly outskate any of his opponents was nothing short of incredible

It was utterly astounding to watch. In Zdeno’s experience, first-year players often needed extra help to improve their skating, struggling to catch up to the more stringent demands of the League. But Parson? He was a regular ghost out on the ice, disappearing into the corner of your eye just as you finally thought you’d pinpointed him. It was a good talent for him to possess, given that his size and scoring record made him a prime target for any rival team’s enforcers. Very rarely, however, did any of them catch up to him.

But Parson could catch up to Chara, no question.

It happened near the end of the third period of a particularly rigorous game, with the Bruins leading by one point but the Aces trying their damnedest to bring it into overtime. With Thomas starting to fade on blocking the shots and the Aces’ offense never slowing, Chara was fully expecting them to succeed.

Just as he was steeling himself for the possibility, suddenly, one of the Aces slammed into him at full speed, knocking him against the boards. As Chara fought to keep his balance and also fully realize that, yes, one of the Aces had actually attempted to board him, he vaguely registered that the same player had simply dropped to the ice in a heap. Steadying himself on his skates, Chara glanced down to find that it was Parson, the Aces’s new star and first year player, coughing and convulsing on the ice, seemingly struggling to stand.

Even though it was Parson who came at him, guilt instantly flooded through Chara as he saw the condition of the other player, and cold dread churned in his stomach as Parson let out a hacking cough, dark blood surging out from his throat to splatter across the ice.

Chara didn’t hesitate for a moment before signalling for a ref to halt play at the first opportunity.

It wasn’t until the end of the game, after the Bruins just barely scraped out a win over the Aces, that Chara fully understood what had happened. Parson had lost one of his skate blades mid-stride and, unable to control his direction any longer, plowed straight into Chara. The impact had knocked the wind right out of him and left him with a bloody nose. He’d fallen to the ice, barely able to wheeze in breath, while blood from his nose dripped down his throat as he tried and failed to stand up and locate his missing blade.

Parson somehow found him that night at the bar where the Bruins were celebrating their victory and apologized, backwards snapback hat on his head in all its glory. (It was just beginning to be recognized as his trademark.)

“I’m sorry about what happened during the game,” Parson told him, looking at him directly with an unflinching gaze. “It really was an accident. I really wasn’t trying to hurt you.”

Chara stifled a snort at the idea of Parson, who stood nearly a foot shorter than him and easily weighed at least fifty pounds less, deliberately headhunting him on the ice. He’d either have to be incredibly stupid or a complete goon, and he’d seen the way Parson played and knew he was neither.

“No need to apologize,” he told Parson, hoping that his accent didn’t obscure the sincerity in his voice. “What happens on the ice is fine to leave on the ice. We know this time was an accident and not a dirty play.”

“Thanks.” Parson’s lips tugged up a little bit, like he might smile, and suddenly Chara found himself overcome by the distinct desire to see it out in full force. Thinking back, he wasn’t sure he’d ever seen Parson offer up anything in interviews but a cocky smirk.

“You should let me buy you a drink, though,” Chara continued, letting a playful warmth flood his tone. “To show you I understand your apology.”

Parson laughed and ducked his head slightly, and Chara got his wish fulfilled as he glimpsed a small smile playing across his mouth. Combined with the faint pink tinge in his cheeks, it was, Chara decided, a very good look for him.

[exitcheckplease]

so @tangerinick and i were having a *moment* over that draisaitl jersey number article.....

let’s say connor is leon. hear me out. so connor’s dad is a junior’s coach, notably kent parson’s juniors coach before he gets traded to jack’s team. there’s an age difference there for sure, but connor figures its not a big deal like, say, a crush or anything. he just thinks the guy is cool.

kent kinda sucks on that first team tho. but he’s really kind. humors connor in a way the other players don't, in a way that doesn’t have anything to do with his dad being the coach. connor just thinks the guy is cool.

kent gets traded to jack’s team, and there’s a lot that changes. his number first of all, and then his growth as a player takes off. soon enough he and his best friend are trading off first and second in draft projections

then jack’s gone and its just kent. kent with the aces who want him to play immediately because he’s already been drafted and what was that time in juniors if not development, kent who never had time to process anything with jack before being thrust into a limelight he doesn’t think he deserves with a front office that clearly doesn’t think much of him and a coaching staff and team who want nothing to do with him or his “antics” beyond the points he can give them (seguin @ boston vibes but add recent trauma to the mix)

and when he can’t even give them that after two seasons of spiraling, he finds himself sent down to the ahl. a “draft bust” waiting out his elc so he can get the fuck out of dodge.

connor still goes to samwell. realizing you’ve got a very not mentor/mentee crush on one of your dad’s players as a preteen and then experiencing Hockey Culture in juniors will push you towards more accepting spaces. at least it does for him.

he does well, makes friends, plays some of the best hockey with some of the best people he's ever met. and then he gets picked up by the canucks.

a few years down the line, kent’s finally out of his contract and taking business classes at uni because business is safe and kent’s a safe kind of guy now. connor is making a name for himself as vancouver’s rising star, a diamond in the rough who had no real chance in the draft but came out of samwell a top 6 player

then the article. “its a good number. i like how it looks,” he tells the athletic, “also was the number of a guy on my dad’s team when i was a kid.” which is a little bit juicier than simply liking how it looks, so the article continues, “he was a cool guy. just--really cool.” 

a fan does some digging. kent parson? the name sounds familiar. kinda shitty stats on that juniors team, interesting that connor would idolize a guy like that for so long, but--oh. then he went first in the draft. and now he’s... where is kent parson now?

the media catches on. “Canucks Winger Connor Whisk Wears Draft Bust Kent Parson’s Number” it becomes a Thing. 

kent is torn from the relative anonymity he’s enjoyed over the past few years, save for the occasional “Top Ten Draft Busts” or “2009 Redraft” videos. it kind of sucks. 

but it sucks a little less when connor whisk shows up on his doorstep with a bouquet of grocery store apology flowers in hand, and his heart on his sleeve. 

[the-lincyclopedia]

* adapted from @librajiminn on twitter

A fun game to celebrate 2020 ending! The rules are simple: recommend your favorite OMGCP fics so everyone can enjoy them, while trying to fill in enough slots to get a bingo!

This is going to get long, so I’ll put it under a cut. Also, I’m too orderly to try to shoehorn my favorite fics into these particular prompts, so I’m just going to go right to left, top to bottom, taking the prompts literally, until it’s bedtime. 

1. first fic you bookmarked: “Here Comes the Sun” by @doggernaut, 19k, G, no warnings, Zimbits

For the past month, the man with the baby and the sad blue eyes has been stopping in for a cup of coffee an hour before closing. He always sits in an overstuffed chair in the corner and drinks his coffee while his baby sleeps next to him in the stroller. Sometimes he pulls a book out from the diaper bag he carries with him; other times he just stares straight ahead as if in a daze. He never asks for a refill, always respectfully gathers his things and leaves ten minutes before the shop officially closes. Eric desperately wants to ask him what his story is. 

My notes: I read Check Please over the course of two days in June of 2019. On the second day, right after catching up, I looked at @peppermintfeminist‘s AO3 bookmarks and found a fic by @doggernaut. Then I read just about everything @doggernaut had ever posted. It was glorious. This fic in particular is so cute. 

2. most recent fic you bookmarked: “Flight Check” by @edgarallanrose, 15k, E, no warnings (though there is a creepy/handsy guy at a club to watch out for), primarily Zimbits with most of the other popular pairings in the background

Flight attendant Eric “Bitty” Bittle has been working his way up at Samwell Airlines for the past four years, and his new promotion has provided him the opportunity to work with a brand-new crew. Unfortunately for Bitty, that crew includes an incredibly handsome but equally grumpy pilot, Captain Jack Zimmermann, who seems to want nothing to do with Bitty. Even worse, Jack refuses to eat any of Bitty's baked goods. Will Bitty be able to win the captain over? Or is there another reason Jack has been avoiding Bitty?

My notes: There are a lot of great things about this fic--Jack’s character arc, Lardo’s dialogue, that scene in Seattle--but the reason I bookmarked it is the scene where Bitty’s basically slut-shaming himself and Jack gently but firmly tells Bitty not to do that and that it was the creep’s fault. 

3. a fic that made you cry actual tears: “a little bit more” by @ivecarvedawoodenheart, 14k, T, no warnings, Holsom

“I just wanted,” he says, “a perfect day. With you. Because it’s our last day together and our last day being here as undergrads and we’re kissing the ice tonight, and the weather’s supposed to be beautiful, and you’re moving tomorrow and Holtzy I just — I don’t want to be missing you already.” Holster wipes his eyes before he even realizes he’s crying. Behind him, Ransom sighs. “One more day where everything’s the same,” he says, feeling around blindly for Rans’ fingers. He feels Rans nod as he laces their fingers together. “Yeah. Yeah, Rans. I’d like that a lot.” __________________________

Holsom after graduation and throughout the subsequent six months after Holster signs to an expansion team in Oregon, and realizes his feelings for Ransom too late. Holster's POV :) kinda angsty, but there's a happy ending :)

Inspired by shitty-check-please-aus: "Holster moves to Oregon while Ransom stays on the east coast. The time difference makes it difficult to talk and one day they wake up and realize they aren’t best bros anymore."

My notes: I almost never cry at fics. I searched “tears” in my fandom email account and only a handful of my fic comments came up, but Syd is a literal master of Holsom angst, always. 

4. longest fic you’ve read: “Like Real People Do” by @xiaq, 153k, M, No Warnings, Kent Parson x OC

Parson gestures with his spoon toward Hawke. “So am I allowed to ask about the service dog or is that not PC?”

“My medical history is more of a 3rd date conversation," Eli says.

“Oh? Why’s that?”

“Because. No one sticks around afterward and I like to live in glorious denial for a short period beforehand.”

It comes out more self-deprecating than he intended.

Parson looks…thoughtful. “Well, does this count as one or two?

“Pardon?”

“This. Ice cream. I mean, technically it’s a second location, but still the same night. So is this one date or two?”

“One,” Eli says firmly. “If it’s happening within the same three-hour period.”

“You’re the expert,” Parson says, which, he’s really, really, not, but ok.

“So still two dates to go then?” Parson continues.

“I—what?”

“We’ve got a roadie coming up but then we’re home for almost two weeks. When does your semester start?”

“You want to do this again?” Eli asks.

Parson stops idly twirling his spoon.

“You don’t?”

He does, Eli realizes. He really does. Because apparently he actually likes Kent fucking Parson.

My notes: Okay, this fic has my whole entire heart. I’ve read it multiple times in its entirety, and it’s almost twice as long as the full-length novel I’m querying. Eli is one of my favorite OCs I’ve ever seen in a fic (probably tied with Damian Navarro and Ari Paxton, both brainchildren of @fozmeadows). Anyway, this is probably going to be the next thing @themeaningoflifeischeese and I read out loud to each other. 

5. a fic you almost didn’t read: “when all else fails (i’ll still be right here)” by @whoacanada, 6k, T, Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings (and I don’t remember if I think there’s stuff to warn for, sorry), Zimbits

The National Hockey League is resurrecting the Quebec City Nordiques, and the expansion draft hits the Falconers much harder than expected.

My notes: Given that this was for @omgcpheartbreakfest, I was worried this would be all angst--all hurt and no comfort. Which made me sad, because I love @whoacanada‘s writing but I wasn’t up for reading unresolved angst. But @doggernaut reblogged the fic, so I asked if the ending was sad, and it’s NOT! There is quite a bit of angst but the ending isn’t sad. 

6. a fic that convinced you on a ship you didn’t ship before: “it drops with the gravity of rain” by @geniusorinsanity, 16k, T, Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings (attempted sexual assault by an OC), Nurseydex

It happens like this:

“I don’t--this is a bad idea,” Dex says, his lips still tingling, his hands shaking on Nursey’s hips where he’s shoved him away. “This is a really bad idea, Nurse. I can’t--We can’t do this.”

And there’s hurt in Nursey’s eyes and his bottom lip is swollen from Dex’s teeth, but he says, “Okay.” And then, “It’s chill, Dex. Just friends, then.”

It happens like this:

“Actually,” Nursey says, talking more to his granola than to them, “I kind of have a date.”

It happens like this:

When Nursey calls, Dex almost doesn’t pick up the phone.

My notes: So I was really confused and a little disturbed when I first found out people shipped Nursey and Dex. Like, Dex just wasn’t someone I trusted. But then I was moving out of the house I’d been living in, and I needed stuff to listen to as I packed and cleaned, and @khashanakalashtar‘s podfics came in clutch. I gave this one a try even though I didn’t like Dex, and @geniusorinsanity blew. My. Mind.

7. a fic from an unusual POV: “Excuse Me While I Kiss This Guy” by @porcupine-girl, 8k, G, no warnings, Zimbits

Jesse Snowden knows all the best restaurants and gourmet food shops in Providence, so when Jack Zimmermann starts bringing in incredible baked goods, he's eager to find out where the new bakery is. When he meets the man behind the pies, he decides that there's no way Jack could really appreciate this guy's talent the way he does, even if they are friends. He starts hiring Jack's chef on the side, in the hopes that maybe once Bitty's done with college he'll come work for Jesse.

Good thing there is absolutely no way whatsoever that Jesse could possibly be misinterpreting this situation.

My notes: Oh my gosh this is so funny. The secondhand embarrassment factor is huge, but like, the hilarity. 

8. a comfort fic: “Don’t Need to Compromise” by @khashanakalashtar, 11k, E, no warnings, PB&J

“Hey,” said Kent, unknowingly setting off a chain of events that would change his entire life, “you said that like you know from experience. Have you done this before?”

Jack and Bitty have not done polyamory before, but they do know Ransom and Holster’s polycule, which contains March.

And March?

March is trans.

My notes: I’m in love with @khashanakalashtar‘s entire Directionverse series (and honestly a lot of their other writing), but “Don’t Need to Compromise,” which is the second fic in the series, just makes my heart swell especially much. The gender feels are so good, and all the characters are so good to each other, and when I listen to this on walks I have to actively try not to arm-flap. 

9. a fic you wish could be a movie: “Ice Crew Please!” by @petals42, 61k, T, no warnings, Zimbits

Jack Zimmermann was drafted first by the Providence Falconers when he was eighteen years old. He is good at hockey. Very good. His team won the Cup his second year and now, in his third year, they are looking good. Jack should be on top of the world. And some days, he manages to convince himself he is.

He’s not, of course.

Enter the Ice Crew.

AKA: The Ice Crew AU

My notes: This fic has its tender moments, but what I love most about it is the sheer goofiness. Ransom and Holster and Shitty are HILARIOUS in this one. I’d love to see their shenanigans in movie form. 

10. a WIP you read as it was updated: “Something Borrowed” by @fozmeadows, 48k, M, no warnings, Kent x OC

All things considered, Ari did his best to prepare himself for the advent of Kent Parson, Potentially Difficult Housemate and New Star Liney. The problem was that his best was an idiot.

My notes: So technically I didn’t start reading this until the first 19 chapters were posted. But there was still plenty of anticipation for the final few chapters. And like, @fozmeadows (as mentioned above) makes EXCELLENT OCs. And I love how their fics consistently convey that having bad things happen to you does not mark the end of your story. 

Okay, it’s bedtime, so have 10 excellent fics. I got bingo twice, because I went straight across on the top two rows.

[eldritchw1tch]

i don’t want you like a best friend: a tswift-pimms playlist

i don’t want you like a best friend: a tswift-pimms playlist 

link

this is the pimms playlist i spent more than a year working on from like, 2018 to the end of 2019! as such, it only contains music up through lover, not anything from folklore or evermore. @permets-2​ finally poked me into posting the liner notes, which I gave up on because tumblr formatting was fighting me, so please know i haven’t actually looked at them since 2019 and there might still be missing things? idk.

this playlist is absolutely dedicated to my beloved @faiasakura​, who did her own version of an all-tswift pimms playlist completely independently (we actively avoided comparing notes, lol), which can be found here!

i don’t really go here lately but i hope this is of interest to someone!

Prologue

1. Don’t Blame Me (reputation)

for you, I would fall from grace

Just to touch your face

If you walk away, I'd beg you on my knees to stay

…

Lord save me, my drug is my baby

I'll be usin' for the rest of my life

Act 1: The Q

2. Gorgeous (reputation)

a crush

Ocean blue eyes looking in mine

I feel like I might sink and drown and die

…

You're so gorgeous

I can't say anything to your face

'Cause look at your face

And I'm so furious

At you for making me feel this way

But what can I say?

You're gorgeous

3. Treacherous (Red)

something magnetic, pulling them both in

And I'll do anything you say

If you say it with your hands

And I'd be smart to walk away

But you're quicksand

…

Your name has echoed through my mind

And I just think you should, think you should know

That nothing safe is worth the drive

And I will follow you, follow you home

4. Dress (reputation)

a shared and precious secret: love, desperate and messy and everything. But also: the scrutiny, the frenetic anxiety, the fear.

I’m spilling wine in the bathtub

You kiss my face and we're both drunk

Everyone thinks that they know us

But they know nothing about—

All of this silence and patience, pining and anticipation

My hands are shaking from holding back from you

5. Tied Together With a Smile (Taylor Swift)

the pressure builds; jack’s anxiety gets worse

Hold on, baby you're losing it

The water's high, you're jumping into it

And letting go, and no one knows

That you cry, but you don't tell anyone

That you might not be the golden one

And you're tied together with a smile

But you're coming undone

6. Long Live (Speak Now)

the glory, the playoffs, the memorial cup: the golden boys of hockey, on top of the world

Long live the walls we crashed through

All the kingdom lights shined just for me and you

I was screaming, long live all the magic we made

And bring on all the pretenders

One day, we will be remembered

…

Hold on, to spinning around

Confetti falls to the ground

May these memories break our fall

7. State of Grace (Red)

the 34 days, inside kent’s euphoria

This is a state of grace

This is the worthwhile fight

Love is a ruthless game

Unless you play it good and right

These are the hands of fate

You’re my Achilles heel

this is the golden age of something good and right and real

8. Cruel Summer (Lover)

(that golden season and its dark underbelly)

So cut the headlights, summer's a knife

I'm always waiting for you just to cut to the bone

Devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes

And if I bleed, you'll be the last to know

-

Said, "I'm fine," but it wasn't true

I don't wanna keep secrets just to keep you

And I snuck in through the garden gate

Every night that summer just to seal my fate (Oh)

And I scream, "For whatever it's worth

I love you, ain't that the worst thing you ever heard?"

9. Haunted (Speak Now)

the overdose: kent finds jack on the bathroom floor

Whoa, holding my breath

Won't lose you again

Something's made your eyes go cold

-

Come on, come on, don't leave me like this

I thought I had you figured out

Something's gone terribly wrong

You're all I wanted

10. I Know Places (1989)

kent in the waiting room, holding on hope

Something happens when everybody finds out

See the vultures circling, dark clouds

Love's a fragile little flame, it could burn out

It could burn out

…

Lights flash and we'll run for the fences

Let them say what they want, we won't hear it

Loose lips sink ships all the damn time

Not this time

Act 2: The Fallout

11. The Story of Us (Speak Now)

kent goes to the draft; jack won’t answer his calls

Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room

And we're not speaking

And I'm dying to know

Is it killing you like it's killing me?

Yeah, and I don't know what to say

Since the twist of fate, when it all broke down

And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now

…

The battle's in your hands now

But I would lay my armor down

If you say you'd rather love than fight

12. Last Kiss (Speak Now)

jack and kent, the same realization from opposite sides

So I'll go sit on the floor

Wearing your clothes

All that I know is

I don't know how to be something you miss

I never thought we'd have a last kiss

Never imagined we'd end like this

Your name, forever the name on my lips

13. Death By A Thousand Cuts (Lover)

Starting to live with the devastation and the broken heart

Saying goodbye is death by a thousand cuts

Flashbacks waking me up

I get drunk, but it's not enough

’Cause the morning comes and you're not my baby

I look through the windows of this love

Even though we boarded them up

Chandelier's still flickering here

’Cause I can't pretend it's okay when it's not

It's death by a thousand cuts

14. If This Was A Movie (Speak Now)

regrets and memories

Last night, I heard my own heart beating

Sounded like footsteps on my stairs

Six months gone and I'm still reaching

Even though I know you're not there

I was playing back a thousand memories, baby

Thinkin' 'bout everything we've been through

Maybe I've been going back too much lately

When time stood still and I had you

15. Cold as You (Taylor Swift)

the grief and pain become anger and bitterness

And when you take, you take the very best of me

So I start a fight cause I need to feel something

And you do what you want cause I'm not what you wanted

…

You put up walls and paint them all a shade of gray

And I stood there loving you and wished them all away

And you come away with a great little story

Of a mess of a dreamer with the nerve to adore you

Interlude 1: Jack

16. I Almost Do (Red)

kent doesn’t know as much as he thinks he does (but jack doesn’t either)

I bet you think I either moved on or hate you

‘Cause each time you reach out, there’s no reply

I bet it never, ever occurred to you

That I can’t say hello to you

And risk another goodbye

…

Oh, we made quite a mess, babe

It’s probably better off this way

And I confess, babe

In my dreams, you’re touching my face

And asking me if I want to try again with you

And I almost do

Act 3: Coming of Age in Vegas

17. New Romantics (1989)

vegas; teammates; living in the moment; drinking, dancing, and self-destructing

We're all here, the lights and boys are blinding

We hang back, it's all in the timing

It's poker

He can't see it in my face

But I'm about to play my Ace (ahh)

We need love, but all we want is danger

We team up, then switch sides like a record changer

The rumors are terrible and cruel

But honey, most of them are true

…

Heartbreak is the national anthem

We sing it proudly

We’re too busy dancing (yeah) to get knocked off our feet

Baby, we're the new romantics

The best people in life are free

18. Begin Again (Red)

kent starts to move on

And you throw your head back laughing like a little kid

I think it's strange that you think I'm funny 'cause he never did

I've been spending the last eight months

Thinking all love ever does is break and burn and end

But on a Wednesday in a cafe, I watched it begin again

19. The Way I Loved You (Fearless)

all the drinking and dancing and dating still feel empty and hollow; he just wants to feel again; he just wants that love back

I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain

It's 2 AM and I'm cursing your name

I'm so in love that I acted insane

And that's the way I loved you

Breaking down and coming undone

It's a roller coaster kind of rush

And I never knew I could feel that much

And that's the way I loved you

…

He can't see the smile I'm faking

And my heart's not breaking

'Cause I'm not feeling anything at all

And you were wild and crazy

Just so frustrating

Intoxicating, complicated

20. The Lucky One (Red)

kent parson: the loneliest boy, so alone at the top of the world

You had it figured out since you were in school

Everybody loves pretty, everybody loves cool

So overnight, you look like a sixties queen

…

And they tell you that you’re lucky, but you’re so confused

'Cause you don’t feel pretty, you just feel used

And all the young things line up to take your place

—

Another name goes up in lights

You wonder if you’ll make it out alive

21. Come In With The Rain (Fearless)

(starting to move on is not the same as letting go)

I’ve watched you so long, screamed your name

I don’t know what else I can say

…

But I’ll leave my window open

'Cause I’m too tired at night to call your name

Just know I’m right here hoping

That you’ll come in with the rain

Act 4: Implosion

22. Out of the Woods (1989)

memories he can’t escape of a love like a car crash

The night we couldn't quite forget

When we decided, we decided

To move the furniture so we could dance

Baby, like we stood a chance

Two paper airplanes flying, flying, flying

And I remember thinking

-

Are we out of the woods yet? Are we out of the woods yet? Are we out of the woods yet?

…

You took a Polaroid of us

Then discovered (then discovered)

The rest of the world was black and white

But we were in screaming color

23. Red (Red)

Kent decides to go to epikegster

Loving him is like driving a new Maserati

Down a dead-end street

Faster than the wind, passionate as sin

Ending so suddenly

…

Remembering him comes in flashbacks and echoes

Tell myself it's time now, gotta let go

But moving on from him is impossible

When I still see it all in my head

In burning red

Loving him was red

24. The Last Time (Red)

didja miss me? (something tentative; something a little bit hopeful on both sides)

Find myself at your door

Just like all those times before

I’m not sure how I got there

All roads they lead me here

I imagine you are home

In your room, all alone

And you open your eyes into mine

And everything feels better

25. The Archer (Lover)

kent tries to extend an olive branch but it’s still covered in thorns

Combat, I'm ready for combat

I say I don't want that, but what if I do?

'Cause cruelty wins in the movies

I've got a hundred thrown-out speeches I almost said to you

…

I've been the archer, I've been the prey

Who could ever leave me, darling

But who could stay?

…

And I cut off my nose just to spite my face

Then I hate my reflection for years and years

26. Bad Blood (1989)

jack’s answer to kent’s wounded lashing out

Oh, it's so sad to

Think about the good times

You and I

…

’Cause baby, now we've got bad blood

You know it used to be mad love

So take a look what you've done

’Cause baby, now we've got bad blood, hey!

27. Breathe (Fearless)

kent, driving away from epikegster

I see your face in my mind as I drive away

'Cause none of us thought it was gonna end that way

People are people and sometimes we change our minds

But it's killing me to see you go after all this time

…

And we know it's never simple, never easy

Never a clean break, no one here to save me

You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand

…

And I can't breathe without you, but I have to

Breathe without you but I have to

28. All Too Well (Red)

despite all the pain, there’s an irresistible nostalgia for what they had all those years ago—for when things were so much simpler

Maybe we got lost in translation

Maybe I asked for too much

But maybe this thing was a masterpiece

'Til you tore it all up

Running scared, I was there, I remember it all too well

And you call me up again just to break me like a promise

So casually cruel in the name of being honest

I'm a crumpled up piece of paper lying here

'Cause I remember it all, all, all

Too well

…

Time won't fly, it's like I'm paralyzed by it

I'd like to be my old self again

But I'm still trying to find it

Interlude 2: Kent

29. Fifteen (Fearless)

a memory, a reflection

'Cause when you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you

You're gonna believe them

And when you're fifteen and your first kiss

Makes your head spin 'round

But in your life you'll do things greater than

Dating the boy on the football team

But I didn't know it at fifteen

…

When all you wanted was to be wanted

Wish you could go back and tell yourself what you know now

Back then I swore I was gonna marry him someday

But I realized some bigger dreams of mine

Act 5: Moving On, Growing Up

30. Clean (1989)

finally learning to be his own person, separate from that shared past

There was nothing left to do (Oh-oh, oh-oh)

When the butterflies turned to

Dust that covered my whole room

So I punched a hole in the roof (Oh-oh, oh-oh)

Let the flood carry away all my pictures of you

…

The water filled my lungs, I screamed so loud

But no one heard a thing

…

Rain came pouring down

When I was drowning, that's when I could finally breathe

And by morning

Gone was any trace of you, I think I am finally clean

31. 22 (Red)

friends and freedom, and real joy in that this time around

It feels like a perfect night

To dress up like hipsters

And make fun of our exes, uh-uh, uh-uh

It feels like a perfect night

For breakfast at midnight

To fall in love with strangers, uh-uh, uh-uh

…

Yeah

We're happy, free, confused, and lonely at the same time

It's miserable and magical, oh, yeah

Tonight's the night when we forget about the deadlines

It's time, oh-oh

32. So It Goes… (reputation)

[a doomed love can still be a good one]

'Cause we break down a little

But when you get me alone, it's so simple

'Cause baby, I know what you know

We can feel it

…

And all the pieces fall right into place

Getting caught up in a moment

Lipstick on your face

So it goes…

…

I'm yours to keep

And I'm yours to lose

You know I'm not a bad girl, but I

Do bad things with you

So it goes…

33. Dancing With Our Hands Tied (reputation)

[a doomed love can still be a good one]

I, I loved you in secret

First sight, yeah, we love without reason

Oh, twenty-five years old

Oh, how were you to know?

…

Could've spent forever with your hands in my pockets

Picture of your face in an invisible locket

You said there was nothing in the world that could stop it

I had a bad feeling

…

I'd kiss you as the lights went out

Swaying as the room burned down

I'd hold you as the water rushes in

If I could dance with you again

34. Wildest Dreams (1989)

[a doomed love can still be a good one]

He's so tall and handsome as hell

He's so bad, but he does it so well

I can see the end as it begins

My one condition is

…

Say you'll remember me

Standing in a nice dress

Staring at the sunset, babe

Red lips and rosy cheeks

Say you'll see me again

Even if it's just in your

Wildest dreams, ah-aah, haa

34. Shake It Off (1989)

At the top of his game, at the top of his sport, and actually happy at long last

I never miss a beat

I'm lightning on my feet

And that's what they don’t see, mm, mm

…

But I keep cruisin'

Can't stop, won't stop groovin'

It's like I got this music in my mind

Saying it's gonna be alright

…

'Cause the players gonna play, play, play, play, play

And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate

Baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake

I shake it off, I shake it off

Heartbreakers gonna break, break, break, break, break

And the fakers gonna fake, fake, fake, fake, fake

Baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake

I shake it off, I shake it off

35. Holy Ground (Red)

Remembering with enough distance and experience to appreciate what was, not ache from it

Spinning like a girl in a brand new dress

We had this big wide city all to ourselves

We blocked the noise with the sound of, "I need you"

And for the first time, I had something to lose

And I guess we fell apart in the usual way

And the story's got dust on every page

But sometimes, I wonder how you think about it now

And I see your face in every crowd

…

'Cause darling, it was good

Never looking down

And right there where we stood

Was holy ground

Act 6: Reunion

36. ME! (Lover)

reconnection, reconciliation, re-appreciation

I know I tend to make it about me

I know you never get just what you see

But I will never bore you, baby

(And there's a lot of lame guys out there)

…

'Cause one of these things is not like the others

Livin' in winter, I am your summer

Baby doll, when it comes to a lover

I promise that you'll never find another like me-e-e

37. This Love (1989)

an unexpected reawakening

Tossing, turning

Struggled through the night with someone new

And I could go on and on, on and on

Lantern, burning

Flickered in my mind, only you

But you were still gone, gone, gone

…

Been losing grip, on sinking ships

You showed up just in time

…

This love is good, this love is bad

This love is alive back from the dead, oh-oh, oh

These hands had to let it go free, and

This love came back to me, oh-oh, oh

38. End Game (reputation) (ft. ed sheeran as jack)

After all this time, there are things they aren’t ever going to let go of again, no matter the trouble they bring

I got a bad boy persona, that's what they like (what they like)

You love it, I love it too 'cause you my type (You my type)

You hold me down, and I protect you with my life

…

I don't wanna touch you, I don't wanna be

Just another ex-love you don’t wanna see

I don’t wanna miss you (I don't wanna miss you)

Like the other girls do

I don’t wanna hurt you, I just wanna be

Drinking on a beach with you all over me

I know what they all say (I know what they all say)

But I ain't tryna play

…

I wanna be your end game (End game)

I wanna be your first string (First string)

I wanna be your A-Team (A-Team)

I wanna be your end game, end game

39. You Are In Love (1989)

something real; something sacred; something to build a life on

You can hear it in the silence (silence), silence (silence), you

You can feel it on the way home (way home), way home (way home), you

You can see it with the lights out (lights out), lights out (lights out)

You are in love, true love

You are in love

…

You kiss on sidewalks

You fight and you talk

One night, he wakes

Strange look on his face

Pauses, then says "You're my best friend"

And you knew what it was, he is in love

40. Change (Fearless)

when the two biggest hockey players of their generation come out of the closet—together—are in love with each other—it changes more lives than just theirs

So we've been outnumbered, raided, and now cornered

It's hard to fight when the fight ain’t fair

We're getting stronger now, finding things they never found

They might be bigger but we're faster and never scared

You can walk away, say we don't need this

But there's something in your eyes says we can beat this

…

'Cause these things will change

Can you feel it now?

These walls that they put up to hold us back will fall down

This revolution, the time will come

For us to finally win

And we'll sing hallelujah, we'll sing hallelujah

Oh, oh

41. Call It What You Want (reputation)

When it stops mattering what anyone else thinks

All my flowers grew back as thorns

Windows boarded up after the storm

He built a fire just to keep me warm

All the drama queens taking swings

All the jokers dressing up as kings

They fade to nothing when I look at him

And I know I make the same mistakes every time

Bridges burn, I never learn

At least I did one thing right

I did one thing right

I'm laughing with my lover, makin' forts under covers

Trust him like a brother

Yeah, you know I did one thing right

Starry eyes sparkin' up my darkest night

…

My baby's fit like a daydream

Walking with his head down

I'm the one he's walking to

So call it what you want, yeah

Call it what you want to

42. Lover (Lover)

love

We could leave the Christmas lights up 'til January

And this is our place, we make the rules

And there's a dazzling haze, a mysterious way about you, dear

Have I known you 20 seconds or 20 years?

…

Can I go where you go?

Can we always be this close?

Forever and ever, ah

Take me out, and take me home

You're my, my, my, my lover

43. New Year’s Day (reputation)

love

You squeeze my hand three times in the back of the taxi

I can tell that it's gonna be a long road

I'll be there if you're the toast of the town, babe

Or if you strike out and you're crawling home

…

Don't read the last page

But I stay when it’s hard or it’s wrong or we're making mistakes

I want your midnights

But I’ll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year's Day

44. Daylight (Lover)

Building a new life in the daylight

My love was as cruel as the cities I lived in

Everyone looked worse in the light

There are so many lines that I've crossed unforgiven

I'll tell you truth, but never goodbye

…

I once believed love would be (burning red)

But it's golden

Like daylight, like daylight

Like daylight, daylight

…

I don't wanna look at anything else now that I saw you

I don't wanna think of anything else now that I thought of you

I've been sleeping so long in a 20-year dark night

And now I see daylight, I only see daylight

[dashiellqvverty]

ive also been thinking a lot about nurseydex and reading fic again because theyre like my FAVORITE check please pairing and i miss them a lot and. its had me thinking about the way dex was/is treated too, like i used to joke about how there were all these wonderful characters and i picked the asshole antagonist and the canon republican as my favorites and i didn’t think much of it at the time but its like. why?? what is THEIR allure??

and i’ve been thinking about something ngozi said (and i think deleted) on her marvel blog about fanfiction and how people are so eager to empathize with bucky and explore his perspective and background but find it impossible to relate to or even slightly develop sam, and how we will empathize with any white guy no matter how much of an asshole they might be, and she was sort of reflecting on how people may respond to her new project with that in mind. and of course i was like god this absolutely applies to how fandom responded to kent parson, but extends to other check please characters as well.

like we make up all these reasons and excuses that even though dex was a “samwell republican,” it’s because he’s from a republican family, of course he’s going to change his mind after a semester. maybe that family is really stifling and he already disagrees with them, and he’s afraid to say so. he’s closeted, maybe he’s even trans in addition to being gay or bi, so he’s not REALLY a rebuplican, he’s just trying to overcorrect because he’s so deep in the closet. and sure he has some internalized biases but he’s working on them and it’s fine, because he’s a good person!! and obviously he does grow as a person in canon, because its a happy comic and the frogs are fun side characters. and i really do ike a lot of these headcanons, they make sense to me, and i see a lot of myself in these interpretations of dex, which has to do with why he’s one of my favorite characters

but why do we need him to be Actually A Good Guy so bad? because it wasn’t like every fan hated him before he started coming around. we made up reasons for him to be a better person because we already wanted to like him. and like obviously in the comic he is part of the team and i want him to be a good person because i want SMH to be made up of good people, because its fiction and its fun, and i really do think dex has a lot of potential to explore as a character

but the POINT of all this is. what about nursey? my perspective may be skewed bc in general i don’t read a lot of fic that isn’t porn so i only tend to read longer stories if they have an explicit tag, and i havent really engaged with check please fandom on tumblr in a couple years but. what i DO see tends to focus so much on dex’s angst and his struggles and his perspective and. i dont think i see the same kind of digging into nursey’s experiences nearly as often which is obviously. a problem. and maybe theres a level where because i feel like i relate to him less, i’m less aware of the writing about him as a character that does get done?? and like. that doesn’t have to be the case, half the things i relate to are things that i or fandom made up. so. idk we could and shouldve done better on that front and we still can and like. as i said i am reflecting on why i love kent and dex specifically so much.

[halfabreath]

Holsom, J?

so i can’t find the original prompt list but i’m 80% sure this is “we can’t do this kiss” so that’s what i went with

i know i already did a thing for this prompt but i had to do something again and i’ve been sad lately so here’s a sad thing for y’all

When it happens, it happens slowly. Golden honey dripping down the side of the jar, dragged down by its own weight in a steady path to pool on a pristine tablecloth.

Holster doesn't know everything. He's not like Johnson. He's not sending future tadpoles red pills and blue pills or waxing poetic about what to call Kent Parson's cat over a joint at a kegster. Holster doesn't know everything, but he's the only one who remembers the questions they used to answer online (he's still not entirely sure if he was being chirped but after a few years of thinking about it, it seems likely). He composed the Hockey Shit jingle Shitty still sometimes hums under his breath. Jack asked question after question when they taught Bitty about dibs but he never brought it up again. Holster and Ransom got their scrips, but Ransom never asked where they came from.

I'll pour you out like a milk bag, Ransom's trying and failing to look menacing. Their opponent skates away, unfazed by the attempted chirp. Holster sighs holds up the thick stack of papers that materialized as suddenly as the rink they're skating on.

Just stick to the script, Rans. Holster said. For all Ransom's virtues, he's not an improviser. His hands are soft and his mind is sharp and his kindness wraps around Holster like a weighted blanket and brings him back down to earth when he's toeing the line between raucous joy and being Too Much.

Don't you feel it? Ransom asked on a night so black Holster couldn't even make out the top bunk above him. Ransom was curled up by his side; the ghosts always acted up around the new moon. His breath was warm against Holster's neck, his knees pressed against Holster's thigh, his hands wrapped around Holster's arm. Ransom was always clingy when they shared a bunk. Holster would be annoyed if it was anyone else. But it was Ransom's head on Holster's shoulder, Ransom's whispered question that crawled under their mess of blankets and limbs to burrow deep in Holster's chest. 

We have to stick to the - Holster began, but the burst of cool air that swept into his warm blanket cocoon when Ransom pulled away silenced him.

That's not what I asked. It was too dark to see Ransom's face, but Holster could hear his exact expression in his voice. That happens, when you know someone as well as Holster knows Ransom, when part of you is a part of them, too. Holster wanted to make a joke, but nothing about their situation was funny.

I feel it. Holster murmured after his silenced had draped over them in a heavy pall, pulling the darkness down around them. Ransom tilted his head, leaned in to brush his lips against the corner of Holster's mouth; a half-kiss, a compromise. Then he settled back down and rolled over. Then, I feel it was enough.

Adam Birkholtz, Jack announces, and Holster's heart leaps into his throat. His name hangs in the air, suspended in the silence, and all Holster can think is wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong -

And Justin Oluransi - Jack finishes, and Holster's world snaps back into place like a dislocated joint finally pressed back where it belongs.

It feels like hope. It feels like the universe is telling them they're made to be together, to lead together. It feels like it's only a matter of time.

Ransom rests his head on Holster's shoulder on a roadie. Holster takes Ransom's hand in the middle of a kegster and pulls him close so they can dance. It feels like something is building, and it's not the tub juice in their veins or the steady tattoo of the bass pulsing like a heartbeat. There's something electric in the air, something big is going to happen, and for the first time in years, Holster thinks they might happen. He gets bolder. He flings himself into Ransom's arms during cellys. He watches Ransom dance in the locker room, drops of water steadily dripping down his neck and chest and abs and hips and -. He pulls back his blankets on cold nights so Ransom can crawl in the bottom bunk with him.

Then, one morning, Holster finds himself crowded into a booth at Jerry's as Jack and Bitty confirm what everyone's already known for weeks and he realizes, suddenly, that this is it. This is the moment that was building. Everything he felt, the energy swirling through the Haus, brought them to this specific moment.

Jerry's coffee turns to ashes in his mouth. His carefully constructed hopes come crashing down around him but before the dust can settle the debris begins to shake under his feet. The rubble grumbles as it shifts and stacks and builds itself up into three solid pillars that loom over him:

First: Jack and Bitty are in love, and it's wonderful.

Second: This is not his story.

Third: Now, I feel it is not enough.

When it happens, it happens slowly, so Holster's heart breaks slowly, too.

He always thought that when hearts broke, they shattered. Holster pictured broken glass, bleeding hands, tiny shards that burrow under the skin. Lingering glances and wide smiles and joyous cellys and the brush of Ransom's cool fingertips on his wrist when they're both squeezed into the bottom bunk - it would make sense for them to dig into his palms and fingers and ache whenever he reaches out for Ransom's hand.

But when Holster's heart breaks it doesn't shatter - it crumbles. But it's for the best. He knows himself, he knows he'd gather up the shards, hands bleeding, and hold them against his chest as if drawing the pieces near to their old home would knit them together again.

Ransom tries to take his hand as they walk back from Jerry's. Holster lets their palms brush together, but he twists his fingers out of Ransom's grip and lengthens his stride to catch up with Lardo, who somehow walks twice as fast as him with legs half the size. Ransom lets him go. He slows down, matches Jack's speed, and chirps him all the way back to the Haus.

Ransom says, "Why wouldn't I want to hang out with my best friend in Boston for another year."

Ransom says, "Like? We're bros, bro. You're my brother!"

Ransom says, "Ransom and Holster! Holster and Ransom!"

Ransom says a lot of things.

They rush back to Jack's apartment after The Kiss Heard 'Round the World to prepare for the kegster. Holster's got a stack of flyers with Jack's baby picture on them under his arm and Jack's keys in his other hand. He barely registers the sound of the metal clinking as it hits the floorboards when he drops everything he's holding. The flyers slip from his fingers and spread across the foyer, a 52-pickup that leaves baby Jack Zimmermann staring up at them from the sprawl of papers that slide over their shoes. Holster doesn't give a fuck, though, because Ransom is kissing him. He's pressed against the door, Ransom's hands on his face and neck, Ransom's body holding him in place, Ransom's full lips firm and desperate against his, Ransom, Ransom, Ransom. Rans - Holy fuck, is Holster's first thought. Haha, tonsil hockey, is the second. I could do this forever, is the third.

But Holster knows it isn't The Kiss, even if it is for him. The earth moves under his feet, the heatwave burns through him, the key changes as the music swells, and everything changes.

We can't do this. The script -

It's not enough

It has to be enough, Rans. We have to make it be enough.

I'm going to forget again.

I know.

It's going to hurt you.

I know.

I'm sorry.

Me too.

Everything changes, but only for them.

They move into separate rooms in Haus 2.0. There are six inches of cheap drywall between them. Sometimes, late at night, Holster digs his fingers into the hollow space between his ribs. His heart spills out all over his sheets, the tiny pieces slipping through his fingers like sand. He gathers it up, handful by handful, and sweeps as much of the excess away as he can. The pieces grind down, crumbling away until a fine layer of dust settles over his room, his clothes, his hands, his face. He tracks it through the halls and leaves handprints on Ransom's clothes when he slaps his back or pulls him in for a quick bro-hug.

Just stick to the script.

When Holster's heart breaks, it screams you were made to love him in a thundering waterfall, roaring white water tumbling over a sheer cliff.

Yes, Holster replies, the words cool and soft as the mist that drifts across the observation decks at Niagara. His cheeks are wet. But this isn't my story.

[unfairlawyer]

kent parson redemption stories are about projecting and im not afraid to say it because. its me. im the one projecting.

[snowy-protection-squad]

Hey everyone,

My last post on this blog was almost exactly two years ago and I doubt anyone cares much about this message but I thought I would give some final thoughts before bidding this blog adieu. 

I started this blog in 2016 as a way to interact with other people in the OMGCP fandom and talk about a comic that meant a lot to me. In 2016 I was in ninth grade (freshman year of high school) and had extreme difficulty making friends at my new school. I was trying to balance high school, high level dance, and my struggles regarding my sexuality. I saw a lot of myself in Bitty and seeing representation in comics meant the world to me. Since I had no friends and was immersed in the toxic tumblr culture of the time, I thought that creating this blog would be a good idea. 

I joined the OMGCP fandom near its peak. I had actually already started reading the comic in 2015 but I forgot about it pretty quickly, until I rejoined just a month or so before The Kiss™. After that, I fell hard into the community in one of the worst ways possible. I brought my fanatic SuperWhoLock mentality into a small community with all the confidence of a 14 year old girl who thinks that stan culture is healthy. Looking back on this blog I have a lot of regrets, but I was 14 and having this blog actually helped me a lot. I got to share my dumb headcanons and even managed to make friends through it (shout out to the Bittyholtz twitter group chat). I got to talk to like-minded people and have friendly debates with them. In 2017 I got to meet Ngozi at a comic festival. I probably made a fool out of myself, I can’t remember, but I got to meet an artist I admired and now I own an original Kent Parson pin so it can’t have been that bad. 

By 2018 my interest in the fandom had plummeted and I stopped caring about the comic, the fandom, and this blog. This was in part due to the sporadic updates and lack of engaging fan content, but it was primarily due to the growing toxicity of the community and the way the updates felt...weird. All of year 3 was very touch and go for me. I would spend weeks elbow’s deep in the fandom and then a month doing the bare minimum to keep this blog alive. It felt as if the character development of Bitty and Jack up from the first two years had been scrapped, and in its place were caricatures and fluff. The rest of the cast had also lost their personalities. I still posted memes and joking headcanons, but I no longer felt connected with the characters or the story, with the exception of Kent Parson. 

This community has always had an issue with Parse to the extent that people have received death threats for liking him. It was like that in 2016 and it’s like that now. I always liked Parse because he was flawed and relatable in a more realistic way than other characters in the comic. As I previously mentioned I found Bitty deeply relatable in 2016, but that changed when Year 3 came out. Year 1 & 2 Bitty was a flawed character with endearing traits, Year 3 Bitty was a selfish mother hen with an ego. He was no longer relatable, and the rest of the cast seemed to have been shoved to the side to focus more on Jack and Bitty’s relationship. The Tadpoles weren’t given enough attention when I was still reading the comic, with their personalities being dumbed down to “confused” and “stand-offish”. This left Kent Parson as one of the most dynamic characters in the series, despite his little screen time. Kent Parson was relatable too many people, myself included. He was Jacks foil and gave us a glimpse into Jacks life before Samwell and how that haunts him. The treatment of Parse during the LVA @ PVD updates was the tipping point in my abandonment of this blog.

I didn’t read Year 4 until Ngozi posted the final update schedule for Check Please on Instagram and I decided to catch up before reading the finale. I was reminded of why I fell in love with so many of these characters and this fandom. I started getting back into the fandom and re-reading old favourite fanfics. It made me realize that it was always the characters I loved, not the story. Seeing how people fill in plot holes or write redemption arcs for discarded characters is incredible. I especially love seeing peoples responses to the finale of the comic. Personally, I found the ending lacklustre, though I did get a little teary eyed over this comic ending after all my emotional investment in it. A lot of my critiques have already been said in the OMGCP Critical tag so I wont bore you with them.

Despite starting this post by saying I’ll be bidding Check Please “adieu”, I don’t think that’s true. I’ll continue reading fanfic from this fandom and I’ll likely browse some OMGCP tumblr tags on occasion, but it will likely not be reblogged to this account. I’m debating writing a Bittyparse fic that I’ve been thinking of, and if I write it I’ll post it here, but don’t get your hopes up. This fandom is bound to die in a couple years, some tags are already being abandoned and accounts are rebranding themselves away from OMGCP. The peak period of this blog was a time of growth for me and I thank everyone who read my silly headcanons and ridiculous AUs. 

Anyways. Thanks for everything, Check Please fandom.

ttyl, Mel