#because it's so fucking annoying and i hate feeling like this

[vanteguccir]

── ୨୧ !　TOO MUCH

chris sturniolo x reader

SUMMARY: Where Matt and Nick say some hurtful things to Chris during a fight, bringing his insecurities to life and causing him to turn to his anchor, Y/N.

WARNING: Insecurities, fighting, crying, anxiety attack.

REQUESTED?: Yes, by anon.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: That is my work, I DON'T authorize any plagiarism, copy, or "inspiration"! | English isn't my first language, so I'm sorry if there's any grammar error.

　　　༻✦༺ 　༻✧༺　༻✦༺

The noise in the living room had escalated from playful teasing in front of the camera to sharp, biting words. Chris stood behind the kitchen table, his hands clenched into fists at his sides as he glared at Matt and Nick, who were both looking at him from the other side of the table with expressions caught between frustration and exasperation.

"Do you ever think before you act, Chris?" Matt's voice was, surprisingly, raised, an edge of impatience in his tone. "We can’t get through one day without you doing something childish and making a scene, or worse, making our videos look like shit because of it!"

Chris’s jaw tightened, but he didn’t respond immediately, his eyes darting between his brothers, trying to make sense of how things had gotten so out of hand.

"I wasn’t trying to do anything." He muttered finally, his voice barely above a whisper laced with hurt. "I was just... being myself."

"Yeah, exactly." Nick jumped in, crossing his arms tightly over his chest. "And that’s the problem. You’re always yelling and doing the most, Chris. It’s just... exhausting, okay?"

Chris clenched his fists, jaw tight as he glared at Nick, feeling himself crumbling a bit because sure, he’s too much. Sure, he speaks too loud and had opinions about everything and wasn’t afraid to share them, even if they were about the silliest things. Sure, he feels cornered and childish and immature and annoying, and most of what they're saying is probably true, but hearing his own brothers say it out loud... it pains his heart.

"You know, that’s actually rich coming from you." He shot back, his voice carrying a frustration he couldn’t hold back, trying to disguise his pain with anger. "You’re always the first to say that people watch us because we’re different, because even though we look the same, we're still different. But all you ever do is complain that I’m not just like you or Matt!”

Nick’s expression shifted, taken aback by Chris’s words. But Nick wasn’t one to back down, his voice snapping back almost before Chris had finished speaking.

"That’s not what I’m saying at all!" He fired, eyes narrowing. "Is it so insane to want you to stop yelling and acting like a literal child in every video? We’re trying to be professional, Chris! People like us, yeah, but they won’t if you keep acting like-"

Chris dragged a hand over his face, pressing the heel of his palm into his forehead, trying to shut out Nick’s words, trying to drown out the overwhelming feeling of being misunderstood.

"... and we can’t keep dealing with it, Chris. Grow the fuck up."

The youngest felt his chest tighten even more. His greatest insecurity - one that clawed at his chest every night when he couldn’t sleep, when the silence around him became deafening - was now on full display, brutally brought to life by the people he trusted most.

The internet was relentless in labeling him as "the weird one", the "annoying triplet", just because he was loud and talked too much, just because he was unapologetically himself. He’d laugh it off, of course, joke about it even because it was easier to pretend it didn’t bother him. But deep down, those words haunted him, scraping at the edges of his self-worth, making him wonder if maybe, just maybe, he wasn’t enough.

And now, hearing Matt and Nick throw those same words at him... he felt hollow. Like all the air had been knocked from his lungs. They knew. They knew how those comments got to him, how hard he tried to ignore it, to rise above the criticism.

"Fine." He said bitterly, hating how his voice trembled slightly as he struggled to keep his emotions in check. "I’ll get out of your way, then."

He pushed his weight off of the table, preparing himself to get out of there, but as Chris stormed away, Nick's frustration boiled over, and he turned to Matt, his voice sharp and incredulous.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" He hissed, his eyes flashing with a mixture of anger and disbelief.

But Chris kept walking, his shoulders tense as he made his way to the stairs, refusing to let himself look back. His brothers’ voices felt like static at this point, blending into the background as he forced himself to keep going.

Behind him, Matt muttered under his breath, an edge of impatience creeping in.

"Why is he being so dramatic?" He called, exasperation evident in his tone. "Chris, just come back, man! Let’s finish this video."

But Chris didn’t even slow down. Each word felt like salt in a wound he was struggling to ignore, a constant reminder that he wasn’t on the same level as them, that they were all looking at him like he was the problem.

Maybe he was.

As he went down the stairs, his mind was racing, every emotion simmering just below the surface.

His hands trembled slightly as he reached his bedroom door, a mix of anger, shame, and sadness twisting in his chest, his breath hitching as he struggled to keep it together. He wanted to scream, to push all the hurt away.

Finally, he opened the door and stepped inside.

Y/N - curled up on his bed with notebooks spread around her and laptop balanced on her knees - looked up instantly, a huge smile spreading across her face as she noticed him, her expression so genuinely happy to see him that it made his heart ache even more.

"Hi, honey! How was filming?" She greeted brightly, unaware of the turmoil written across his face.

But her smile faltered quickly as she took in his red-rimmed eyes, the way his face seemed almost haunted, his body tense and trembling as he stood frozen in the doorway. She blinked, worry flashing across her features.

"Chris? Hey, what happened?" The girl whispered, and her words were like a lifeline, breaking the dam he’d tried so hard to keep in place.

She was quick in put her work together, placing her notebooks and laptop gently onto the floor beside her, leaving it all opened for her to come back to it later, her arms instinctively opening up to him.

"Come here, baby."

Without another thought, Chris crossed the room and collapsed into her open arms, sinking onto the bed as if the weight of the world had become too much for him to bear alone.

His arms wrapped tightly around her waist, his face burrowing into her shoulder as if he could somehow hide from everything that had been clawing at him. His legs slid between her thighs, his body curling into hers, every part of him drawn in close, seeking refuge in the only place that felt safe.

Y/N didn’t say anything at first. She could feel the way his shoulders shook, the silent sobs racking through him as he tried to hold back, his breath catching painfully against her neck. She held him even tighter, her hands slipping up to cradle the back of his head, her fingers threading gently through his fluff hair as she pressed soft, reassuring kisses to his forehead, his temple, anywhere she could reach.

"Shh... It’s okay, sweetheart." She murmured softly, pressing her lips to his line of hair. "I'm here. You're safe. Just breathe, Chris. Just breathe, baby."

But Chris felt anything but safe in his own skin. Shame and hurt twisted inside him, tightening like a vice around his chest. He tried to fold himself even smaller, curling tighter into her, trying to somehow look smaller for a 5'8 grown man, pressing his body as close to hers as he could.

He wanted to disappear, to melt into her embrace, and let the world live freely without his presence. The words Matt and Nick had thrown at him - the very same words he read online, the labels he was used to brushing off - felt so true, so much a part of him that he couldn’t deny them.

Childish. Annoying. Immature.

He hated himself in that moment, hated how much he cared, hated how the words dug under his skin, making him feel unworthy, unloved.

"Am I... am I really that annoying?" He whispered, his voice cracking and sounding more horse than it should. "Do you... Do you think I’m too much, too?"

Y/N’s heart twisted painfully as she heard his words, the broken way he spoke them. She frowned deeply, pulling back just enough to look down at him, her hand cupping his wet cheek as she met his gaze, her thumb brushing away a stray tear that had slipped down his face.

"Oh, sweetheart..." She shook her head gently, her voice laced with disbelief and fierce love. "No. No, Chris, of course not. You’re not annoying. You’re not too much. You’re everything I could ever want. You’re perfect exactly the way you are."

He clenched his fists, gripping onto Y/N’s hoodie - or better, his own blue hoodie -, his knuckles white with the force of it as he tried to agree with her, but her words didn’t seem to reach him. His brow furrowed, his eyes filling with fresh tears as he choked out.

"They said... They said I’m always yelling, being loud, making a scene... like I’m always... embarrassing them." His voice caught on the last words, his breath hitching as he fought to keep from breaking down completely.

Y/N held him tighter, her hand moving to the bottom of his white shirt, traveling inside of it only to rub soothing circles along his naked back as she spoke in a soft, steady tone, hoping her words would anchor him.

"Chris, they love you. They’re just... they don’t understand how much their words hurt sometimes. But that doesn’t mean you’re a burden or that you’re too much. You bring so much joy and energy to everything. That’s part of who you are, and it’s one of the things I love most about you."

He shook his head slightly, his breathing coming faster as anxiety started to build again, overtaking him.

"I... I just don’t get it. One minute, they’re saying people watch us because we’re different... and then they tell me I should be more like them. I don’t... I don’t know how to be that. I tried so hard to be like them, you have to believe me, but I don’t know how to change who I am-"

Y/N felt the depth of his frustration in the desperate way that he begged, wanting - no, needing - her to believe him. She cupped his face gently, urging him to look at her.

"You don’t have to change, Chris. Not for anyone. You’re enough just as you are, baby. And you’re not a burden. Not to me, not to anyone who really sees you and loves you for who you are."

He nodded slowly, finally trying to take a deep breath, only to feel like his nose was closed and his throat was being chocked by invisible hands. He closed his eyes forcefully, biting his bottom lip in concentration as he tried to breathe in a gulp of air that never seemed to be enough. Chris could feel his heart tightening, his chest struggling in the quick movements of going up and down too many times in a second.

"Can't- I... Please-" He tried, tightening his hands around her hoodie, panicking with the anxiety attack that seemed to come so suddenly.

"Hey, hey, Chris. Sweetheart, you’re okay." Y/N whispered softly, her voice a calming presence against the storm inside him. She shifted slightly, one hand now resting on his chest with a firm press as she guided him through deep breaths, her own voice slow and steady. "Come on, just breathe with me, okay? In... and out... Nice and slow. I’m right here with you."

Following her lead, Chris pressed his eyes tighter in a way that made him see stars behind his eyelids, focusing on the rhythm of her voice, the rise and fall of her own breathing against his fists. With each exhale, he felt a bit of the tension release, his chest loosening as he tried to match her calming breaths.

Gradually, his racing heart began to slow, the adrenaline draining from his body, leaving him feeling heavy, exhausted.

Y/N smiled softly, brushing her fingers through his hair as she pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead.

"There you go. That’s it... Well done, my strong boy. Now, just relax. I’ve got you."

As his breathing evened out, Chris opened his eyes slowly, his blurred gaze meeting hers with a vulnerability that tore at her heart.

"You don’t have to carry all of this alone, Chris. I’m always here for you, no matter what. You’re safe with me, okay? I love you... so much." She leaned down, pressing another kiss to his forehead as she held him close, her voice soft.

The gentle reassurance, the quiet love in her words wrapped around him like a blanket, pulling him further into her warmth. His eyelids grew heavier, the tiredness finally catching up with him as he let himself surrender to the comfort of her arms, a quiet whine escaping his throat.

"I know, honey. Sleep." Y/N whispered, a tender smile on her lips as she cradled him closer, holding him like a mother would hold her kid, her hands tracing soothing patterns along his back. "You can rest. I’ll be right here when you wake up."

As she continued to whisper soft reassurances, her fingers running gently through his hair, Chris’s breathing finally evened out, his body relaxing completely in her arms. His head rested on the curve of her neck, his arms still wrapped around her waist as he drifted off, his pain and worries slipping away in the safety of her embrace.

Y/N leaned down, pressing one last, lingering kiss to his hair before laying her cheek against his head, her arms wrapped securely around his body as she watched over him.

"I love you, sweet boy."

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A couple of hours had passed, the sunsetting casting a soft, warm light over Chris’s room, where he and Y/N lay wrapped together on the bed. Chris’s face was nestled against her shoulder, his breathing steady and calm now, his chest rising and falling in sync with hers.

Outside the room, Matt and Nick exchanged a glance. They’d been standing in the hallway for nearly five minutes, trying to muster the courage to knock. Their earlier argument with Chris had weighed heavily on both of them, guilt twisting in their stomachs as they replayed every hurtful word that had left their mouths.

Finally, Matt raised his fist and knocked softly on Chris’s door, the faint sound echoing in the silence. When there was no answer, he hesitated, glancing at Nick before slowly pushing the door open.

They both froze at the sight before them. Chris and Y/N were curled up together on the bed, Chris’s face still damp from tears as he lay against her, completely relaxed in her arms. Y/N had one arm around his shoulders, her fingers resting in his hair, while her other hand was hiding inside his shirt, holding his back, cradling him protectively. They looked peaceful.

Matt’s heart clenched at the sight, guilt intensifying as he took in Chris’s tear-streaked face. He glanced over at Nick, who was staring down at his feet, clearly feeling the same crushing remorse.

"Let's go. We can come back later." Matt muttered, pulling Nick towards himself before starting to back out of the room, thinking it might be best to give Chris a bit more time.

But just as they were about to close the door, Chris stirred, shifting slightly in Y/N’s arms. He nuzzled his head on her shoulder, his face just inches from the gentle slope of her neck where he could still catch the faint, familiar scent of her perfume mingling with the natural warmth of her skin.

He moved slightly, careful not to wake her, though his movement caused her to pull him in closer, her fingers instinctively brushing over his back. The feeling of her hand tracing small, soothing circles over his shoulder as if it was a muscle memory grounded him further, coaxing a soft sigh from him as he nuzzled deeper into her embrace, pressing a gentle, barely-there kiss to her neck.

When his sleepy eyes finally traveled around the room while gently stretching his legs between hers, he finally caught Matt and Nick's figures standing in the doorway.

His face fell the instant he realized they were there, his peaceful expression replaced by a guarded, distant look. Carefully, he eased himself up, making sure not to wake Y/N as he pulled himself away from her arms.

"Came for round two?" He looked at Matt and Nick, his sleepy voice laced with bitterness as he asked.

Nick swallowed, words catching in his throat as he struggled to find the right thing to say. What an irony. He opened his mouth but only managed to mumble, stumbling over his words as he tried to get them out.

Finally, Nick took a small step closer, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Chris, I... we came to say... We just..." His pearly teeth caged his bottom lip momentarily, taking a deep breath. "We love that you’re different."

Chris stared at him, incredulous, eyebrows raised as he scoffed softly.

"Different? That’s what you’re leading with?" His eyes narrowed, hurt simmering just beneath the surface. "So now I’m the ‘different’ one? Funny, ‘cause that didn’t seem to be a good thing a few hours ago."

Nick faltered, his face flushing as he realized his words weren’t coming out the way he intended. He tried again, tripping over his explanation.

"No, no, I... I didn’t mean it like that. I just-"

Chris took a deep, shaky breath, his gaze lowered as he avoided Nick and Matt's eyes, interrupting Nick.

"Look, I want to apologize, alright?" He started, his voice barely more than a murmur, thick with emotion. "I know it was all my fault and that I’m a lot to handle. I get it. I can be too loud, too... everything, really. And I know I’m not like you guys. I’ve tried so hard to be, but it’s just... not me." His words hung heavy in the room, his fingers twisting anxiously in his lap. "I feel like sometimes I just ruin things because I don’t know how to turn it off. You two seem to have this balance, you know when to joke and when to be serious, and I’m over here just... always pushing things too far."

He exhaled deeply, finally lifting his eyes to meet his brothers', the weight of insecurity and years of self-doubt written all over his face.

"I’m sorry if it feels like you have to put up with me. I’ve tried to be more like you, but it’s never enough. And sometimes... it just feels like who I am isn’t what anyone wants." His voice cracked at the last words, his vulnerability laid bare, and he quickly looked away, bracing himself for whatever they would say.

Nick and Matt shared a look, each seeing the guilt mirrored in the other’s eyes as Chris’s words sank in, cutting through them like a blade.

Matt felt his chest tighten, a pang of regret settling heavily in his stomach, making it hard to breathe. How could he have let Chris - his little brother, the boy who was always loving him no matter what - believe, even for a second, that he wasn’t wanted exactly as he was?

His legs moved on instinct, carrying him back into the room before he even registered it, straight to Chris, who looked so small and hurt, slumped at the edge of the bed. Kneeling down, Matt reached out, placing a steadying hand on Chris’s knee, his fingers gently pressing into his brother’s skin as if trying to ground him.

"Chris, you’re our little brother. I don’t ever want you to feel like you’re too much for us." He swallowed, his voice wavering as he continued, willing Chris to see and feel every word. "I love you, man. We love you for who you are. You don’t need to change a thing. It’s your energy, your spark that makes everything better. You have this way of bringing life into everything, and that’s something I wouldn’t change for anything." He looked into Chris’s eyes, his own gaze filled with a raw honesty. "We need you to be you, Chris. No one else."

Nick’s heart clenched as he watched, his own guilt building with every second. Gaining control over the hurt and regret flooding him, he crossed the room in long strides, dropping down beside Matt. He looked up at Chris, his throat tight with emotion, the sight of his little brother so closed-off, so wounded, cutting deep. He was supposed to protect him, not hurt him.

"Yeah... you being another person? That’s not what we want at all. We’ve never wanted you to be anyone else. You’re perfect the way you are, Chris." Nick’s voice shook, filled with a determination to make Chris understand the truth, to undo every careless word he and Matt had thrown his way earlier. "I'm so, so sorry that we said all of those things and made you think so bad about yourself."

Chris’s defenses wavered, his resolve crumbling as he glanced between his brothers. Their sincerity seeped through, but doubt still clouded his gaze. He let out a heavy sigh, loosening his grip on his hoodie just a bit.

"You promise?" His voice was barely a whisper, fragile and laced with uncertainty, his fingers twisting anxiously into the fabric of his sleeve.

Without hesitation, Nick reached forward, taking Chris’s hands in his own, intertwining their fingers and squeezing firmly.

"We promise. We love how wild you are, how you’re always the one bringing the energy. You’re louder, sure, but that’s not something bad, it's exactly what makes you, you. You’re the happiest out of the three of us, Chris, and we wouldn’t change that for anything." He gave Chris’s hand another reassuring squeeze, feeling the smallest hint of relief when he saw the younger brother begin to relax, if only slightly.

Matt nodded, adding gently.

"And hey, I don’t think we need to be professional or act in a type of way for our videos to be good. The viewers love us for who we are... the mix of chaos and calm. That’s what makes us, us. It’s why they stick around."

Chris took a shaky breath, letting their words settle over him, feeling the weight of them begin to ease some of the pain. Slowly, he nodded, his fingers curling back around Nick’s reassuring grip.

"Okay."

Matt leaned forward, placing a hand on Chris’s shoulder.

"We’ll do better, alright? We’re brothers. We’re gonna mess up, but that doesn’t mean we won’t have each other’s backs. Always."

Chris exhaled deeply, finally letting the tension melt away as he leaned into their touch, the comfort of his brothers grounding him in a way only they could. Straightening himself, he managed a small, tired smile, his heart feeling a bit lighter.

"Yeah... always."

"Well, I’m really glad you guys are okay again." Y/N’s soft voice broke the silence, bringing all three heads up in surprise.

She moved with a quiet strength as she sat up and brushed her hand tenderly through Chris’s hair, watching his face light up as he realized she’d been awake all along.

"But just so we’re clear... if either of you hurt my baby like that again, you’re going to have to answer to me." She turned her gaze to Nick and Matt, a playful but fierce glint in her eyes.

"Y/N..." Chris dragged the last letter of her name in a whining tone, feeling flustered with how she called him 'her baby' in front of his brothers - even though they were more than accustomed with it.

Nick’s eyes widened jokingly with her threat, a chuckle escaping him. He lifted his hands in mock surrender, glancing at Matt as if to say, 'Well, we better watch out'. Matt nodded, eyes a bit sheepish, scratching the back of his neck.

"Alright, alright, no more ganging up on Chris. You have our word, Y/N."

Content with their promises, Y/N turned her attention back to Chris, opening her arms and pulling him into her embrace once more. He let out a soft sigh, sinking into her warmth, his head nestled against her shoulder. Her arms wrapped around him protectively, fingers tracing soothing circles along his back as she whispered.

"I told you they didn't mean it." He closed his eyes, letting her words wash over him, the last bits of hurt melting away.

Nick and Matt watched the two of them, a fondness softening their expressions.

"You know." She murmured, pulling Chris's head away from her chest and looking at him with a mischievous grin. "You’re pretty lucky to have all of us wrapped around your finger."

Chris laughed, a real laugh this time, the sound full of relief and love.

"Yeah, I know. I just... I guess I forget sometimes."

"Well." Nick started, squeezing Chris’s shoulder with a grin. "We’re not going anywhere. So next time, just remind us if we’re being idiots, alright?"

Chris nodded, glancing gratefully at each of them, feeling more grounded and cherished than he had in a long time.

[rhythmic-idealist]

I’ve found some of the most genuine care around me from my coworkers.

Maybe it’s that this is how I’ve always conducted friendships, that I never knew how to hang out outside of high school lunches either. But standing around after work is where we talk about our brains and childhoods and philosophy and hypothetical economic systems and fucking mortality and whatever else. There was a moment in time when I thought the first time I was gonna meet a coworkers kids was gonna be babysitting them for free because he was at the doctor a lot because maybe he had cancer. I’m just commenting bc I know the coworker relationship is sometimes talked about online as a universally annoying one - and there are some coworkers I do not enjoy the company of - but that’s where I’ve found some of the most warmth in my day to day outside of my partners. It’s also where I’ve found people who have made me feel miserable, don’t get me wrong, but it’s where some of my most meaningful relationships are. Nothing is WRONG with that.

There’s awkwardness. I’m very loud and some people are very quiet, and so I always feel unwanted, like an intrusion on their quiet. But I gave union advice to a coworker once and now he comes to me and asks me sometimes, and when he noticed I was taking Lyft home some days he offered to drive me home when I needed it. Are we still able to chat? Not much. One time I asked him “what artist is this [playing rn?]” as if particularly niche, and you could see the light die behind his eyes as he had to say “Kendrick” and I’m still recovering. But if one of us needs something I know we got us.

Recently we were worried one of us was going to be unfairly fired. Several of us were talking to each other and trying to strategize before the coworker who was at risk even had another shift scheduled.

And I had a coworker who seemed to hate my guts for months, and it’s not like he seeks me out to hang out now, but he’ll start an occasional respectful conversation with me because at a meeting with our union rep I said his name several times in a list of people I knew were being denied an earned promotions. (Context: People were doing all of the job duties of those promotions, without being acknowledge with the appropriate title and pay.) I didn’t say it because I liked him, I said it because we’re a union and because I did care about the guy’s livelihood.

This isn’t saying do what I do or enjoy what I enjoy socially or tick how I tick, this is just. Storytelling. Vague, anonymous storytelling.

Work is a place where I know when my coworker is expecting a new baby, and I know when my coworker took time off to attend a funeral, and I know when my coworker’s last name changes because they’ve gotten married, and I know when they’re out sick. We are so in each other’s lives. Corporate “we are a family” is in service of loyalty to the company and is bs. But being in community and solidarity with my coworkers as huge. I don’t know my next door neighbors very well. But my coworkers have me. I’ve got them.

i need everyone to know that community is what will save us all in every single way imaginable. you forming a bond with your neighbour or coworker might help them move house or feel less alone or have the courage to leave an unhealthy living environment. you helping a stranger might provide them with hope. in turn, being able to lean on your community in times of need will save you. your broader bonds with your community are the revolution we need. our society seeks to divide and separate us in so many ways but we are all so much more united in our struggles and joys than you are made to believe. we need to hold onto each other very tightly.

[cupidsdolll]

The Feeling Came Late (I’m Still Glad I Met You)

pairings: grumpy!college student! Harry x fem! sunshine!reader

summary: Harry hates Y/N, it seems like it's been like that forever. He's quick to insult and correct her even when she's right, he's just always been the only one to pick on her no matter what she does. She doesn't understand why it's like this between them or what she did to make him dislike her so much, but what if it's all just a lie?

overall warnings: slow burn, eventual smut, sexual tension, kind of enemies to lovers, angst, alcohol consumption and drug mentions, foul language, Harry is a major asshole in this tbh, heavy on the grumpy x sunshine in this.

chapter 2/? (wc: 3.4k)

masterlist

001 | 01 | 02

- - - -

Chapter 2: Surprise, Surprise

Harry wakes up to the sound of his phone dinging and he grumbles as he sits up and stretches. He looks around and stops his tired gaze at the small window next to his bed. It's dark with just a hint of sunlight beginning to cut through the glass windows, this is definitely not the scenery he's used to when he awakes from his slumber. Groggily he grabs his phone with one hand and rubs his left eye with the other, turns on the phone and hisses as he squints. 

He quickly turns the brightness of the screen down to a manageable setting and mumbles under his breath when he sees it's a little past six in the morning. 

"Who the fuck is awake right now and why are they trying to talk to me. Someone better be fucking dying." The message is from an unknown number, the numbers staring at him tauntingly. 

///

Unknown: hey. it's y/n. i got your number from principal Oscar. lmk whenever works best for you and i'll do my best to arrange my schedule otherwise! :)

— — — 

He grumbles once more about the timing of the text and stares at the screen trying to think of an appropriate response. He could and absolutely wants to just leave her on read and never talk to her again. That seems like the most appropriate since she interrupted his sleep, why is she even up this early? But maybe he should show a sliver of compassion and reply to the text briefly before going back to sleep. 

He decides on not texting back, simply because all this thinking of replying, responses and times is making his head hurt, so he sets his phone back onto the small wooden table beside his bed and clambers back into the warm cocoon of his blankets. Wrapping himself  in the thick blanket, he sighs blissfully as his head relaxes into the soft cushiony bed. He begins to close his eyes and go back to sleep, the pleasant warm feeling of sleep very quickly approaching him. 

Just as soon as he gets comfortable and almost falls asleep, his phone dings once more. He grumbles as he throws the blanket off of him and grabs his phone once again. The same numbers teasing him as another text comes through. 

///

Unknown: this is harry right? i'm so sorry if this isn't! 

////

He rolls his eyes as he mumbles, his fingers typing away on the keyboard as he sends his response. 

Harry: Yes, it's me. In case you haven't noticed, it's five in the morning. I was asleep.

///

He gets a response almost immediately, as if she was staying in the chat waiting for a response.

Unknown: yes i know! why are you still sleep? i like to get my day started early!

Harry: Because no one in their right mind is up this early.

Unknown: sorry for waking you! just wanted to see what times and days work best for you. :)

Harry: Give me a couple hours.

Unknown: okay! have a good nap! :)

— — — 

He mumbles again as he sets his phone grumpily back on the table, wrapping himself back into his blanket just to find it's not as warm anymore. He mutters under his breath, silently complaining about her up so early and choosing to annoy him so early as well, and to top it off she made him lose the warmth of his blankets. He wraps himself up in the blanket and lays back down, resting his head on the soft pillow as he closes his eyes. 

Opening his eyes once more a couple hours later, he gets up and stretches once again. The muscles in his back pops smoothly and he groans softly. He gets out of his bed and quickly makes his bed,  wrinkles sit in the middle of the blanket as he sets his pillow on top, but he can’t bring himself to care. He feels much better after getting another couple hours of sleep. 

He heads into the bathroom and relieves his bladder, sighing in relief as it empties. Shutting the lid down, he flushes the toilet and heads to the sink so he can wash his hands. After he's finished, he brushes his hair and puts it in a man bun.

Walking over to the small dresser where he keeps his clothes, he opens his needed drawers and pulls out an outfit. Settling on a white Rolling Stones t-shirt and some black skinny jeans, he gets dressed and makes sure he puts on his signature rings. Once he's done with that, he sprays his Tom Ford cologne and grabs his phone, responding to the very few notifications he does have and stares at Y/N's name in his message list. 

Her simple text stares at him, somehow politely demanding a response from a couple hours ago. He huffs and mutters 'fucks sake' under his breath as he clicks on it and begins to type out his response.

///

Harry: I'm available anytime

/// 

Not too long after, just long enough for him to set his phone in his pocket and slip on his brown Chelsea boots, his phone dings. 

///

Y/N: okay! um how about tomorrow around 6 at the library?

— — — 

Harry laughs dryly at her enthusiasm as he sends a plain thumbs up, the yellow emoji a stark contrast in the very one sided text conversation, and afterwards he heads out the small bedroom in his dorm and heads to the front door. He passes the various pictures of his roommate and his girlfriend and a couple of pictures showcasing his orange kitten, Delilah, in various moments. She was wrapped up in a soft towel from the day Harry brought her home, and other moments where he thought she looked pretty and decided to capture the moment. 

All the pictures are neatly hung in a long cardboard frame, colorful tacks adding a pop of color to the otherwise boring wall of pictures. The small hallway leads to a basic living room, a simple gray futon sits alongside the cream colored wall with a modern artistic sketch hanging above it, a dark brown bookshelf holding all their movies and the very few books and textbooks they happen to own is placed next to the futon, and a small dresser underneath a decently sized tv. 

In the corner of the living room area sits a small gray cat bed and Delilah lays there peacefully sleeping in a little ball, her tail twitching occasionally. The ends of Harry's lips begin to curl upwards at the sight as he slowly walks over to the small dresser designated just for her. He silently opens the top drawer and opens the small can containing her food. The smell quickly floods his nose and he grimaces as he walks over to her food bowl and pouring it in there, silently gagging as it squelches into the bowl. 

He throws away the now empty can in the small trash can and grabs her water bowl walking over to the dresser once again and fills it with a small water bottle sitting in the top drawer. He sets it down beside the food one carefully because he doesn't feel like cleaning up water right now and walks back to the dresser. He opens the second one and grabs a few of her favorite toys and sets them under the coffee table in the living room, allowing her something to do while he's gone and turns on the tv. Quickly pulling up her favorite tv show - Animal Planet - he walks over to her and very gently rubs the top of her head. He coos at her softly to coax the sleepy kitten awake. 

Delilah stretches and yawns as she opens her eyes, focusing on Harry crouching above her, she lets out a tired but happy meow as she nuzzles her face into Harry's hand. 

"Good morning, sweet girl. I gotta get to school but you got everything set up for you, just how you like. I love you and I'll be back soon." He says with a small laugh as he gives the small kitten a couple extra pets and gets back up, stretching slightly as he heads to the door, making sure to grab his signature leather jacket from the futon as he opens the door and heads out. 

— — — 

It doesn't take him long to head to the campus thanks to his dorm being a short drive from the campus. He parks his car in an empty space nearest the school and he sits in the car after he turns it off. He watches her as she walks to the bike rack, her long hair flowing gently behind her as she walks due to the wind blowing. She's dressed in an olive green sweater and dark blue Levi pants that flare at the end, she'd pair it with some white Nike Air Forces, a medium sized white tote bag and a matching olive green thin belt, he can see the small shimmer of her jewelry shine when the sun hits it as she ties her bike to the small rack. 

He turns the key to shut off his car and opens the door, slowly stepping outside the car as he puts on his jacket. He closes the door with a soft slam and locks it, the beep alerting the girl as she turns around, her hair briefly swishing in front of her face as she turns. He watches as she frowns in anticipation of a snarky remark but returns to normal when it doesn't happen. He slowly makes his way to the entrance, purposely avoiding eye contact with her as he grows closer. He hopes she gets the hint to leave him the hell alone, and wants to keep their interactions to an absolute minimum. 

"Hey!" He hears her voice ring out from behind her but his pace doesn't falter, he actually starts walking just a tad bit faster in an attempt to get inside before she reaches him. He makes it to the top of the steps before he feels a soft hand grip his shoulder and a tug, signaling him to turn around. He slowly turns around, face deadpanned and he takes a deep breath. 

"What?" 

"Any place specific you want to meet in the library?" She asks softly and he shakes his head as he turns around swiftly and starts his journey into the school once again. He can feel her presence behind him and his frown begins to form. 

He chooses to ignore her as they walk, the chatter of the other students in the hall filling their ears as they continue. One of Harry's friends, Alex, walks up to Harry with a big smile as he pays his shoulder and glares at Y/N. 

"How you doin' Haz?" He asks and Harry's frown only deepens at the unwanted conversation. 

"Not now Alex." He shakes his head as he heads to his locker. He can hear Alex scoff as he walks away but he can still feel her presence behind him. 

He scoffs lightly as he gets to his locker, one ringed hand reaching up to twist the little knob to the correct numbers and opens the door. He quickly grabs a textbook and slams it shut and he walks away, leaving a hurt and confused Y/N standing at the locker. 

— — — 

She can't help but frown at Harry's more than usual grumpy behavior as she heads to her own locker, true enough she was the main reason why he's so grumpy but honestly how was she to know he’d still be sleeping? It’s not her fault that she just loves helping people! She should know better than to assume they'd be friends simply because she's tutoring him, but she assumed they'd at least be better than this. She hoped he would be somewhat tolerable, a very silly thought of hers because when is he ever tolerable? She doesn’t know how it came to be this way. She can remember a time where the two of them were cordial and even dared to say the best of friends, but then something changed and she wishes she knew what it was.

She wishes she could just go back in time and watch the two of them under a microscope to see what went wrong, to figure out why he hates her. She misses him terribly, but that’s kept locked away in a box of her feelings and emotions never to be seen again alongside her favorite childhood memories. 

She huffs in frustration when she can't get the lock to open, her combination not seeming to work as she twists and twists. She swears it's the right one, so she tries once more and she's met with once again the lock not opening. 

"Come on!" She huffs as she stares at the lock intently. Beginning to think that maybe she changed the lock combination, she tries a different sequence of the same numbers and after a couple of tries she finally hears the satisfying click as the lock opens. 

She quickly grabs the textbooks for her first two classes and shuts it gently as she walks to her first class, her tote bag gently bouncing off her hip as she walks. She just barely makes it to her first class before the teacher closes the door, her hand pushing on the tall wooden door as she cries out 'wait please!' The door opens and she sees the teacher smile softly as he lets her in. 

"Just in time Y/N, have a seat." He says and she nods silently, with her head down she quietly makes her way over to an empty seat towards the back of the class. Grabbing her notebook and a pen out of her bag, she begins to write down the title of the notes she's gonna be taking and pulls her assignment due from the front of the notebook as well. 

— — — 

Time seems to fly in front of her eyes, the day taking not nearly as long as it usually feels like as she gets released from her last class of the day. With a smile on her face, she plugs her earbuds in her phone as she walks through the halls, stopping briefly to answer any questions from her classmates and to wave goodbye to her teachers. 

She spots Harry talking to a pretty brunette, one of more popular girls who also happens to be on the cheerleading team she thinks, her lips pulled back into a dazzling smile as she twirls her hair around her finger as she speaks. Hesitantly, she makes her way over and taps him on the shoulder, meekly saying 'excuse me' and she's greeted with a very nasty glare from the girl. 

"Um, we're talking." The girl says with a frown on her face. Y/N can't help the flush of embarrassment that begins to heat her cheeks up as she looks down. 

"I'm sorry, I just wanted to remind Harry of the library. It's at six, if you can't make it or gonna be late, just let me know." Y/N's voice comes out quietly as she speaks, her hands subconsciously moving to her front as she begins to play with her fingers. 

Harry lets out a very unenthusiastic 'uh huh' as his eyes never leave the brunette's and he begins to talk to her once more, completely ignoring the other girl behind him as the brunette smirks and plays with the collar of his t-shirt. When she realizes that he isn't paying attention, she frowns slightly before making her way out of the school building as music plays in her ears. 

She mumbles curses to Harry under her breath as she unties her bike and sets the cord in her bag. Hopping on her bike, she begins her ride back to her apartment. She smiles as she passes the cars and families out and about, their joy and love radiating off of them making her smile and aw. As she continues biking, she makes a quick stop at her favorite flower shop, propping her bike against the side of the store and she quickly walks in. The smell of all the flowers welcome her warmly as well as the bright smile of the lady standing behind the counter. 

"Y/N! So good to see you! How've you been?" She asks and Y/N smiles as she walks up to the counter. 

"Hi Tameka! I'm good, how are you?" Y/N asks and Tameka responds with great enthusiasm as she starts telling the younger girl about her kids and how the store's been getting along. 

Y/N loves coming to this flower shop because no matter how long she stays away, she's always greeted with a warm welcome, one that reminds her of her mother at a young age. The shop gives her a sense of family no matter what happens, and she's never been more grateful. After Tameka finishes rambling on about her life, she turns her attention to the younger girl as she props her head onto folded manicured hands and flashes her a warm smile. 

"Here to get the usuals? Anything new to update me on chica?" Y/N shakes her head with a small laugh as she leans on the counter. 

"Of course, you know I never stray. And no new updates unless you count having to tutor the boy who seems to hate my existence an update." She says and sighs, the thought of having to do so is a big damper on her happiness and a heavy weight on her heart — it’s not that she doesn’t want to tutor him, she just knows that it’ll be like pulling teeth with him. She’ll have to pry answers out of him and will more than likely be the worst tutoring session ever, she’ll be exhausted afterwards. 

She can't help but to wonder how it'll go, will he be the same as he is in school? Is he gonna spend the whole time mocking her and poking fun (he most definitely will, she’s sure of it. He won’t turn down an opportunity to annoy her and get under her skin), or will he be kind and listen to her (maybe in another universe, some alternate reality where they’re cordial. She’s silly to even think this was a suggestion, she should know him by now), asking questions whenever he's confused? Will the session end in a screaming match as he tests her limits or will it be calm as he complies and agrees to her help. 

As she pays for her flowers, she can't help but to ask herself those questions. She knows wondering won't help determine the outcome of the coming day, but she knows there's only one way to find out.

She makes her way home, her bouquet of flowers sitting neatly in her tote bag as she rides along. She takes pleasure in the feeling of the wind brushing against her skin and flowing through her hair as she pedals along. The sound of people chatting on the sidewalks and the sound of cars whirring by her and honking at others fill her ear and she just smiles. She enjoys the sound of her community while others might say that it’s too loud and there’s no peace in all of the noise, she says otherwise. She can’t imagine her city in silence, to not listen to the usual sound because it’s all she knows. 

She makes it home and parks her bike beside her apartment, tying it up and making it inside the building. She heads down the short hall and to her door, unlocking it and walks inside and smiles at the sereneness of her own space. She locks the door behind her and sits down on the couch with her notebook and her favorite pen, thinking of the best way to carry out these sessions with Harry. What would be the best approach and everything to do with it. She wants to make sure that he understands that she’s not going to allow him to just walk all over her and cheat his way through. 

She wants to actually help him, not just give him what he wants; she wants to give him what he needs and what he needs is someone to take time out of their day and work with him, cater the worksheets and lessons to how he learns best so he can actually learn the information. She can only hope for the best as she begins to write out a plan for the next few weeks, she just knows that she’s going to need all the luck dealing with Harry.

[oimitocat]

STRAY KIDS REACTION….

… to boyfriend!reader being angry and they find it hot (nsfw warning) (hyung line!)

ᡴꪫ CHAN… was extremely similar to you. you’re a lay-backed person, sure sometimes you have episodes where you’re not exactly in the mood to socialize but still, you’re charismatic and let things slide more than he does. you always say it’s because you don’t have energy to entertain that stuff.

yet, seeing you angry — TRULY angry, was something he’d never think he’d get to see. so color him surprised when he hears you shout and pace. the furrow of your brows, your darkened eyes. you looked… good. that tone, he’d never heard it and… it stirred something in the pit of his stomach.

“something wrong?” he asks after a while of eye fucking you.

“company said i need to go on a damn hiatus because some shitheads are spreading a rumor. i could care less, why do they have to make it seem like i’m anxious or whatever?”

chan blinks. “rumor?”

“yeah, super stupid. all i did was call them to say i wasn’t happy with how our last show ended. dude, they literally couldn’t get my headset to work, i had to wing the timing and stuff. their lack of work effort pisses me off.” you groan.

“i know but…” chan pauses when you glare at him. he swallows, “hey, i mean a hiatus is good. you get to rest.”

“i don’t want to rest-“

“i get to have you all to myself without worrying about you missing out on your schedule.”

“if you’re bored, play with me. if you’re angry, take it out on me. you’ll have all the time to do so.” he grins.

you blink, “i- what?” and you can’t even be angry anymore… just frustrated. but chan will also take that.

ᡴꪫ MINHO… had the habit of annoying you and frustrating you sometimes, but never actually making you angry. as idol’s there is a lot of things that can drive you mad. minho for example hates wardrobe malfunctions. fans went crazy over some clips of him angry and upset over a few outfits and so have you.

you never really cared for much, at the end of the day you get a nice paycheck and you’re good to go. still, that doesn’t mean you don’t care about your job. so when he sees that your mic isn’t working and you’re more than upset at the lack of resolve from the sound techs…. he simply cannot look away.

even when you get off the stage, you’re glaring and absolutely not in the mood. everything you do is with anger— ripping off your headset, wiping off your sweat, loosening your outfit. goodness, you look delectable.

“you mad?” he asks teasingly, of course he has to tease.

“i’m not in the mood minho.”

oh! that anger had a pretty tone. “fuck,” he breathes out, pressing himself closer to you, “you gonna take it out on me?” and your eyes bored into him.

he definitely didn’t regret it later.

ᡴꪫ CHANGBIN…. didn’t know you could get angry. he’s only seen you be all soft and gushy. he’s seen you be defensive and stern but never angry. he’s literally making his way to the studio when he hears your voice boom outside the door. worried, he walks in and sees how your standing and yelling at the other producer.

“what’s-?”

“-how long it’s taken us to keep these files and you forget to save them?!”

the producer fidgets, “doesn’t change have a copy? he always has a copy-“

“THAT DOESN’T MEAN THE COPY IS THE SAME AS WHAT WE WERE ADDING TO IT YESTERDAY! you can’t recreate something that was authentic!” you pace, pulling at your hair, “shit man, i worked so hard on that!”

“y/n calm down,” he tries, “what file is it-?”

“changbin, i literally cannot right now.” and you leave.

in the end the file wasn’t deleted, just misplaced in the wrong folder to which it was saved. still, the lack of clarity pissed you off. you didn’t want to work that day and changbin was trying so hard to coax you. yet, seeing you mad was so good for some reason. changbin knew he could make you feel better (totally not feeling you with his hands? and you being angry was making things fun.

ᡴꪫ HYUNJIN…. doesn’t remember a time where you’ve been angry. he’s also never even wanted to. he doesn’t like noise and he remembers how you always say you blow up when angry. hence, when he hears you slam your fist on the desk, he jumps. you’re dramatic like him, so he tried not to think much of it except…

“are you kidding me?” he hear you say with an ominous tone. low and sultry, makes him pause. “so you’re saying that you’re wasting my damn time.”

he peeks over at, seeing you frown and glare at the wall while on the phone. he doesn’t think he’s ever seen that look on you… his mind starts to wander…. would that expression look at him? you’re talking, angry, clearly. and it’s so…

“why are you angry?” he asks when you hang up with an insult and throw your phone of the desk.

“cus apparently i have to do everything myself. why the hell would you-“ and he zones out, watching your angrily rant.

you plop down on the chair, angry. he stands and walks over to you, desire in his gut. “baby don’t be mad…” “well i wouldn’t if they did what i was paying them to do.” “-let’s get your mind off that, yeah?”

and boy did he.

[xxxpu55yslay3rxxx]

Y'know, I was searching "new post notification" to find out if I and a few others had this thing. It's some sweet relief to know it's not just me

rant about it (ignore if you don't care)

I think this is the worst feature on here. There's no opt in. There isn't even clarity of it's a bug or a feature. So you don't know if tumblr is fucking with you on purpose or carelessness.

I hate it so much. It triggers my compulsiveness in an uncontrollable way. Worse then doom scrolling because at least I could stop myself from scrolling. You can't even turn this notification off.

I made a request months back on their wip account but I got no response. I even contacted support directly a few days ago and am waiting too. It's frustrating having to wait.

I understand that I'm not paying for the service so I'm not gonna go full karen, but it's deeply annoying they implement shit like this. At least be transparent it's a feature or a bug so I know how to deal with it!

rant end

I needed to get that out. I was getting suffocated feeling that only me and certain mutuals had this 'thing' (feature/bug).

got to the bottom of my dashboard and saw there were 99+ new post notification and thought to myself 'i dont want to see any more tumblr posts...' somethings happening

[lovelaetter]

Chaewon having breeding kink and havinv toxic marriage then getting fucked over over again but making sure not to have a child ore but loves edging her g!p reader imoregnatjng her cause she knows it gets g!p reader off and drippin out of her pussy because of too much cum

not even being married yet! just being in this awful on and off relationship for so long, you can get enough of each other, that every time both of you tell your friends “we broke up, for real” they just roll their eyes because yeah, sure, they used to it, there’s the ongoing joke you’ll end up married with three kids and a dog, white picket fence house and everything. that classic annoying ass couple, everybody knows one.

pussy so good that even after breaking up you keep showing up at her door just to have some :/ face against the pillows or any other surface, drooling and everything, cute ass in the air side to side to tease you and she still acts all bitchy, kicking you, saying “nooo” in a faux annoyance voice and wiggling away from your hands as you get your fingers wet enough in her own cunt to play with her ass, chuckling and kissing her neck and shoulders because you just know she loves it. she totally slaps you in the face too if she can, all she wants is to hear you calling her a “crazy cunt” or something along these lines and will do everything to achieve it, every single time. acts like she hates the fact of you not wearing a condom, muttering “just fucking pull out this time!” but by the end, after an orgasm and with you still rolling her clit between fingers, saying you’ll have to cum inside her, she feels so warm, asking if she doesn’t feel empty, all she can do is nod blindly and spread her legs further for you.

later you both lay there wasted, her playing with the cum sliding out of her, complaining about how you’re “such a bitch! i told you not to” and you’re just like “keep whining and i will do it again” and knowing her brat ass she might keep whining just for the funsies…

also, although she likes to pretend she hates it, her breeding kink level is just straight up baby trapping talk. she will be riding you for dear life only to slow down suddenly, arms around your neck, pouting, “you know, maybe one day i’ll end up pregnant for real and you’ll be stuck with me forever… and i bet you would love that secretly” and it’s instant reaction, like black magic, her pussy grips you like a vice, no pulling out this time even if you want to.

i love crazy bitch toxic brat chaewon save me crazy bitch toxic brat chaewon

[crooked-wasteland]

I think what annoys me so much about the way the show blasts Blitzo for being a cold and unromantic partner is that it’s a perfect example of ignoring worldbuilding to make a character look worse.

By human standards, Blitzo abandoning someone when they tell them that they love him is pretty cowardly and understandably upsetting. But in Hell standards? Verosika should’ve fucking known he’d run away because Hell seems to look down heavily at the concept of love. This is like knowing that it’s taboo to kiss and then getting mad at a character for not kissing you. You can’t blame someone for being adjusted to what society expects of you. Verosika can still be hurt but it’s genuinely insane how much she clings on to this hate like he did a crime.

And the fact that we just skip over seeing their relationship is also infuriating because I get the feeling that Viv was both not interested in actually showing us what Verosika was like and also afraid to make her do anything that feels more in line with her character which is act angsty and spiteful

I've had a thought about Verosika. From the we've seen this season, the writers have actually listened to and addressed criticism for the show. The Ghostfuckers leaks show an overhaul of the original story, the fact that episodes got shifted around at the start of the series, the blatant un-writing of the assassination plot, and the fact that Unhappy Campers was the only pre-special episode to not be in the season 2 trailer (most likely because it was still in the early stages of animation due to massive rewrites to incorporate more Millie) are all evidence to this. It's obvious the crew is not happy about it, but they are listening.

With that in mind, the show has repeatedly been accused of extremely sexist writing in favor of the male cast. As such, it's not surprising to see the pivot more towards "humanizing" the female characters in specific. I remember seeing a lot of comments about how they wouldn't forgive the show if they made another female character irredeemably cruel and brainless following The Circus, and even louder after Western Energy.

What fans had wanted was a complicated or even toxic dynamic where both characters weren't perfect, but still held Blitz accountable for his actions, fairly. What they got was the cheapest, laziest writing I've ever seen. Not only does it not make sense in regards to the established world building of Hell's attitude towards love, it still makes no sense for Blitz to run away just because Verosika said she loved him, only to then adopt a child. He explicitly goes to the pound looking for a pup, pivoting to taking in Loona out of pity. It's like saying marriage is too much of a commitment, but still having kids.

Instead, Medrano overcorrected to pander to critics the same way she panders to her fans. Verosika is not an irredeemably cruel and stupid, spiteful woman. She's a perfect victim actually. Not only is her only crime falling in love, but the relationship ended so fast and sudden that she didn't have any time to do anything.

All these choices feel not only deliberate, but resentful in how little care went into the writing. The most drastic overhaul being to Ghostfuckers where the entire narrative trimmed down and immensely reworked already existing elements into the script. It goes to show the level of improvement possible to an idea when given better direction, but it also shows the limitations of not having actual writers on the team.

Ghostfuckers does an amateur's best and comes out generally okay, but still suffers from over reliance on tropes without narrative substance. It's the genuine best that can be done with this team. And unfortunately that's still not good enough.

[burningcheese-merchant]

BurningCheese/GoldenSpice Playlist

Ok, time to stop being a bitch and post the ship playlist I keep harping on about already.

Gonna mark each song with an emoji to signify if it's meant to either be Burning Spice's POV (🔺) or Golden Cheese's (🧀). It's also going to be band/singer name first, song name second, for ease of understanding

Thank you to everyone who's reached out to me, both on here and on AO3, with song suggestions! A good chunk of these came from me myself, but a lot of people introduced me to plenty more songs that I loved and agreed suited these two perfectly. It's been fun putting a playlist together with this help, it feels like a fun group project now lol. (Hell, you guys are actually helping me think of new writing material. Music is a huge source of inspiration and creativity for me, as I'm sure you've noticed. In a way, you're all indirectly making fic requests lol)

You're all still more than welcome to keep shooting me song ideas to add, the playlist is ever-expanding! I'll just come back to this post and edit any new additions in. (This playlist is 3x longer than my PitayaFire one. I need you all to understand how big of a deal that is for me personally. I never thought I'd be this down bad for a ship besides that one. It's fucking surreal)

Some of it is meant to sound one-sided, others like it's a mutual love/relationship. I'll let you guess which is which lol. Now rock out to Evil Spice Man x Pretty Cheese Lady with me 🤘🤘🤘

Mindless Self Indulgence - Shut Me Up🔺

Fall Out Boy - I Don't Care🔺(with the Wild Spice crew as the backup singers!!!)

Mariah Carey - Obsessed 🧀

Three Days Grace - I Hate Everything About You🔺🧀

Lady Gaga - Bad Romance🔺🧀

Dead or Alive - You Spin Me Round (Like a Record)🔺

Mindless Self Indulgence - What Do They Know?🔺

Britney Spears - Toxic 🧀

Fish in a Birdcage - Rule #34🔺(this is also a great PureShadow song ngl. It's how it was first introduced to me, even lol)

Shayfer James - Filthy Habit🔺

King Gnu - SPECIALZ🔺🧀 (look up the English version of the lyrics. Very BurningCheese-core imo)

Mindless Self Indulgence - This Hurts🔺

Jack Black - Peaches🔺(shout out to the anon in my inbox who suggested this. Joke's on them, I had this on the playlist right from the start lolololololol)

Arctic Monkeys - R U Mine?🔺

Lady Gaga - Poker Face 🧀

Olly Murs (feat. Flo Rida) - Troublemaker 🧀

Rihanna - Where Have You Been🔺(fun fact: I had this playing on a loop as I wrote "Our Little Dance" to get into the Yandere Spice mindset lol)

Lady Gaga - Judas 🧀

Miike Snow - Genghis Khan🔺

The Orion Experience - Obsessed With You🔺(this song is just really funny. You can probably apply it to all Beast x Ancient ships tbh)

Nine Inch Nails - Closer🔺

Mindless Self Indulgence - 5TR82HE11🔺

Air Traffic Controller - This Is Love🔺

Bad Omens - THE DEATH OF PEACE OF MIND🔺🧀

Isabel LaRosa - favorite 🧀

Bloodhound Gang - The Bad Touch🔺(listen I imagined Spice singing this to Golden and just started howling with laughter, it's fucking hysterical ok)

ENHYPEN - Bite Me🔺

Scissor Sisters - I Can't Decide🔺(GC would sing a few parts tho)

5 Seconds of Summer - Teeth🔺🧀 (mostly Spice though)

Buerak - Культ Тела 🔺(look up English lyrics, very Yandere Spice coded. Thank you to the anon who suggested it)

Tom Lehrer - The Masochism Tango🔺

Lady Gaga - Disease 🧀

G-Eazy (with Halsey) - Him & I🔺🧀

Britney Spears - ...Baby One More Time🔺(imagine Spice singing this while stuck in prison. Please. He's singing and the other Beasts want to off themselves because it's so annoying and he won't stop. Please it is so funny. I have so much fun imagining this freak acting stupid-)

[gowns]

i know that it might feel so early 2000s or whatever but i think we've been going too easy on the evangelical churches. they preach insane amounts of hate and indoctrination, they're tax free, all the various branches operate like micro-cults, it's fucked up. where's bill hicks? where did all the asshole atheists go? it's like they were relegated to "reddit fedora basement dwellers" or whatever and then written off permanently.

a lot of people that i meet in LA will tell me they're ~agnostic~ or ~spiritual~ and i get the sense that it's because they're afraid of being perceived as closed-minded. i have the confidence to respond, "i used to be agnostic, but now i no longer have any faith in any higher power. the universe is entropic and it's our job to create our own meaning in our lives." and i feel like we should all feel free to be outspoken atheists again. up to and including being bitchy about astrology and etc. like just call it how you see it. if you get the feeling it's bullshit, call it out.

in a world with soooo much bullshit we have to start digging through all the various layers of it. pick your layer and start digging. personally, i'm beyond annoyed with evangelical christianity. it's a scourge. you don't have to be disrespectful or whatever but yeah go ahead and just tell people about it if you don't believe in anything.

now another thing is, we need more secular social groups. and ummmmm it would be great if these secular social groups could get politically organized so it's not just people sitting around making fun of christians.

anyway, this post inspired by these election results. i don't care as much about the blue bars (i'm uninterested in people who voted for kamala or didn't vote), just the red bars.

[hoaxriot]

SEVEN DEVILS

pairings. regulus black x fem!reader

summary. you had one task and so did he but neither of you could finish it.

warnings. mention of death, murder, torture, abuse. smut.

notes. this is not a magic story, death eaters are the same but without wands and magic. it’s a long one and I’m very proud of this😭. there’s not an exact timeline on when this takes place bc tbh idk. reader and regulus are not the best people!!!!!!!! pls remember this is fiction. i feel like i kinda lost the plot at the end?? 😭

Kill regulus black. Kill him. Get him alone and kill him.

Those words rung through your head as your stared at him from across the room, holding onto a glass of champagne. It was the blacks annual big party and you had found your way into receiving an invitation, after many tries — this was your only chance.

Regulus Black was a death eater, he was who you hated. You didn’t care why he chose to be it, he was and you were sent to kill him. Looking down at your glass before bringing it to your lips to finish the drink, setting it down on the table next to you.

You had done this before but now you’re heart was beating and your hands were sweating as you stared at the man. You felt eyes on you causing you to turn you head, Sirius Black was looking at you. Licking your lips as you turned your head to look at a painting on the wall.

Jesus, there was no way you could do this tonight. Sirius could act like he didn’t care much for his brother, he watched everyone that came close to him. Regulus also always had two friends by his side that you’ve learned to be Barty Crouch jr. and Evan Rosier. You were not killing him tonight.

You sighed knowing the consequences, walking through the crowd to the front door. You felt someone grab your wrist, tugging it away as you turned around to see regulus black standing in front of you.

You name fell from his pink lips softly, you furrowed your eyebrows as to how he know your name.

“Black.” you replied dryly with a smile.

His lips turned upwards, “leaving so soon? the food hasn’t come out yet.” Regulus spoke gesturing towards the tables scattered across the room.

You looked around, Evan Rosier stared at you. Putting on your best smile as you wiped your hands on your black lady dress. W as you smiled, without a word you walked away.

A man wearing an all black suit opened the large doors for you, sighing as the cool air hit your face walking towards the car across the street.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” the man next to you immediately yelled slamming on the seat in front of him as the driver drove away.

Flinching at the loud noise, “I’m sorry, sir. he has a lot of eyes on him.” Your explanation meant nothing to him as he slapped you.

“You never fail to disappoint me.” He spat making you shrink into the seat. For the rest of the drive home, he continued to jab at you, you stayed quiet knowing not to upset him.

He had took you into his home after your parents were killed by death eaters, he taught you everything you know. Kill them and you’ll eventually get the revenge on the right person— in your mind it was right because of how much he said it, it drilled into your head.

The next day, you lived a normal life working at a bakery with a guard across the street watching you. If you were sent to kill someone, you were obviously on someone’s list too.

“Hey, someone’s at the counter.” Savannah, your coworker said as you sat in the small office.

Turning around in the chair, “why can’t you take them?” you said annoyed, you were on your break, “I have to clean the bathroom— unless you want too.”

“No.” you spoke standing up, walking past her and behind the counter.

Regulus stood in front of it with his two goons behind him, “My friends told me about this place, said it was quite good. i’ll take the best thing on the menu.” He voice remained monotone, you wondered if he ever sound excited about anything.

“Of course.” you smiled, what the fuck was he doing here?

“Here.” you said handing him the bag as he handed you the money.

“Hope you enjoy, have a good day.” Speaking sweetly, but deep down you were scared he knew you were sent to kill him.

Regulus stayed as his friends walked away, “may i help you with anything else?”

“Dinner at seven.”

The hell did he just say?

“Sorry?” you heard him but you were way beyond confused.

“Let me take you to dinner, tonight at seven.” Repeating himself, you were about to shut him down and say no before you remembered your assignment.

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yeah. Where?” You asked putting on your best smile even though you were terrified. Of course you knew who Regulus Black was but never once has he even batted an eye at you.

He chuckled, “write down your address and i’ll pick you up.” you nodded writing it down on your notepad before ripping it off and handed it to him.

“Thank you, I’ll see you at seven.” he winked as he walked away.

After work you went home to get ready realizing you had no idea what to wear, deciding to wear a simple dress.

You got ready and waited for almost an hour, maybe you got ready too early. Looking at your clock reading 7:45.

Sighing as you opened your balcony door, grabbing the cigarettes on the small table and lighting one. You watched the streets hoping for him to show, you groaned to yourself realizing you were waiting for him, not waiting to kill him.

A black car pulled in front of your home, regulus came out from it. You took one last hit from your cigarette before putting it out, walking back into your house and spraying perfume on as he knocked on your door. Running your hands on your dress to smooth it out, opening the door to see him dressed so nice compared to you but that’s just how he dressed all the time, dressed like he was going to a formal.

“You look beautiful.” He spoke as he looked you up and down.

Smiling tightly, “you’re late.” he laughed under his breath.

“I got lost. you live in a weird place.” he smiled, holding his arm out for you to take. You stared at it for a few seconds before intertwining your arm with his as you shut your door.

The walk to the car was quiet, the car ride was quiet you got antsy. Regulus noticed placing his hand on top of yours, you looked at him, he smiled at you. Regulus Black actually smiled at you— you almost forgot you were meant to kill him tonight. An awkward smile came to your face as as you turned to look at the window.

The car came to a stop, regulus stepped out and walked around the car to open your door. again, he put his arm for you to take it. “I’ll be around the block, Mr.Black.” The driver said before he pulled off.

The two of you walked into the restaurant, straight to the back into a secluded corner. The place was nice, too nice for you that you felt out of place. Regulus pulled the chair out for you, once he did he sat down in front of you.

Regulus started conversation, it went smoother than you thought it would. The two of you laughed throughout the dinner, even as the food was brought.

“You interest me.” He said, your name spilling from his lips.

You laughed lightly taking a sip from you glass, “why’s that, Black?” you questioned with a smile.

Regulus shrugged, “I feel like you have a lot behind your name. Your story. No one knows about it.” He spoke softly but questionably like he quite didn’t know what he was saying.

“They don’t,” you said with a smile. “Only—“ you said before clearing your throat cutting yourself off.

Regulus furrowed his eyebrows leaning back into his seat, “only?” he said with a questioning tone. His eyebrows raised quickly.

“Nobody. i don’t have anybody to know my story.” You said looking down at the table, only one person did but if you said that name regulus would probably take the knife sitting in front of him and put it in your chest.

“Hm. why?” Regulus asked leaning forward, he seemed genuine. you looked at him, his eyes showed interest.

You signed downing the rest of your wine, “i only had my parents, never had any friends. they died two years ago in a car accident,” death eaters tortured your mom as your dad was forced to watch, tortured her until she could no longer take it, then simply killing your dad but watching your mother go through that had already killed him. “Then my uncle took me in.” Liam Williams took you in, his daughter was killed by death eaters so he had found people who went through the same thing and found revenge.

You cleared your throat, “I’m sorry,” you laughed. “That was deep.” You spoke with a tight smile.

“No it’s okay. I’m very sorry for your loss, i couldn’t imagine.” he wouldn’t give a shit if his parents died, he would be free.

Regulus stood up, instead of his arm he put his hand out. “don’t you have to pay?” You asked causing him to chuckle.

“My dad knows the owner, they don’t like us to pay.” He explained, you felt bad not paying but took his hand. the car was waiting for you two outside the place.

After getting into the car, you realized you enjoyed regulus blacks company, he made you feel heard. “I kind of don’t want the night to end.” You said softly, you wanted him to hear you but at the same time you didn’t.

Regulus turned to you as you stared at the seat in front of you, “me either,” you made him feel wanted, he hadn’t felt that in so long. “Why don’t you come back to my place?” he suggested.

“I’m not sleeping with you.” You stated making him laugh. “Just to hang out, but you also never know.” He said, turning your head to look at him, he had a teasing look on his face making you laugh, agreeing to come home with him.

The car pulled into his long driveway, you knew the blacks were rich but hell, his house was huge. Regulus’ hand held onto yours as you walked to his front door.

As soon as the door shut, he shoved you against the door and his lips were on yours. You froze until his hands squeezed your hips, your hands came to his neck pulling him closer to you as you finally kissed back ignoring everything you said ten minutes before. One of his hands came to hold yours face.

Regulus pulled away, “jump.” He breathed out against your lips. You did as he said, wrapping your legs around his waist as he held onto you. Regulus walked through his house, you put your head into his neck kissing it, feeling him harden and his quiet groans in your ear.

Once he made it to his room, he set you down and immediately started kissing you again. You opened your lips as his tounge explored you, you began to undress him of his coat throwing it onto the floor. One of his hands drew the straps of your dress down, not wearing a bra your boobs fell out once he continued to slide the dress down. Regulus took his shirt off, guiding you to lie down.

He kneeled down kissing right above your underwear, whimpering as he made his way up taking one of your tits into his mouth.

“Reg..” you whispered grabbing a handful of his locks, “yeah,baby?” He said looking up with low eyes.

“I need you,” you said hungrily, Regulus hummed dragging his fingers from your chest. His fingers slide into your underwear, feeling your wetness he groaned. you squinted under his touch, his fingers rubbed circles on your clit.

You moaned feeling him slide his finger through your folds, “god, you’re so beautiful.” Regulus breathed out as he looked down watching his fingers pump in and out of you, he kissed your chest. He curled his fingers making your arch back as you pulled on his locks, Regulus tilted his back to watch you, your eyes closed with your mouth opened, filthy noises coming out of it as you breathed heavily.

You hadn’t had sex in almost a year, you were already closing feel the build in your stomach. He knew the way you clenched around his fingers and your fingers tightening on his hair.

“Cum for me, love.” He whispered kissing your neck, chest, and face, no doubt leaving marks. “Fuck, regulus.” Moaning loudly as his fingers worked fast, his thumb rubbing all the right places. The tension in your stomach snapped as your orgasm hit you, coming on his fingers.

Your chest fell up and down as he rode your orgasm out, you whimpered as he pulled his fingers out grabbing his face. You smashed your lips onto his, grabbing him. The kiss was messy and full of want. As he kissed you, you pulled your underwear down as he tried to work on his pants without breaking away from you.

He struggled making you laugh, he started to with you as he pulled away to stand up. He unbuckled his pants pulling them down with his boxers, you didn’t have time to be shocked at his size as he hovered over you. He lined up to you, the two of you stared at each other with heavy breaths.

“Regulus?” You questioned the look in his eyes, “We don’t have to do this.”

“What? No, I want this. I- I just haven’t done it in a long time.” He confessed, you smiled, “me either.” The two of you let out a breathy laugh.

You felt the tip of his cock brush against you making you gasp lightly, he began to slowly push himself into you making you both moan. He dropped his head into the crook of your neck, “Fuck.” He groaned out.

You held your breath getting used to his size, “You feel so good, Reg.” You whispered holding the side of his neck, he moaned at your words.

“I know, you feel so fucking good, so tight.” He groaned kissing and sucking on your neck. “Can I move?” He asked rubbing his thumb on your cheek.

“Please.” That all, he pulled out then pushed back in hard but slow making you moan out loudly. He kept the same rhythm, his hand that held your face slowly slid down to your neck testing the waters. Regulus watched you, you looked into his eyes as you moved his hand to where he was choking you with the right amount of pressure.

Regulus smirked as he adjusted himself, the new position made you moan. Regulus had been matching your noises and you loved it, it made you approach your orgasm quicker.

You clenched around him, “oh, fuck.” Regulus whimpered as he fell into your neck again.

“I’m close, fuck. Reg. Keep going, just like that.” You moaned out scratching his back with your nails.

“Yeah? Cum for me again, baby.” He spoke as his fingers found your clit again rubbing it, your nails dug into his skin making him groan.

The band in you snapped, your legs shook around him as his rhythm got messier. “Fucking hell,” your name fell from his lips like you were a goddess. “Ah, fuck.” You felt him twitch in you making you moan, “Reg, I’m gonna cum again. You’re so good.” Your words set him off, his moans and groans in your ear set you off.

After a few seconds, Regulus pulled out and he laid down besides you bringing the sheets to cover the both of you. The two of you laid there, fucked out and ended up falling asleep in each others arms.

You woke by the sun beaming into your eyes through his large windows, you hummed lightly. You felt arms snaked around your waist, looking down your eyes widened.

The god forbidden mark engraved into his skin, reminding you of everything bad that happened to you in your life. You felt ashamed that you had slept with him, but he treated you so well.

What the fuck was wrong with you?

You threw his arms off of you, not caring if it woke him up. Grabbing your dress to slip it on, you heard him whisper your name groggily rubbing his eyes as he sat up in his bed.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” You whispered looking around for your heels, seeing you so distressed made him confused.

Regulus stood up, putting his boxers on, “What’s wrong?” He questioned, taking a step forward as you took two back.

“You. You’re what’s wrong.” You pointed to his arm, he didn’t have to look to know. “Jesus,” you muttered slamming his door open and walking down his stairs.

Ignoring the calls of your name, you open his front door. “Oh my god, oh my god.” You pull out your phone, pressing on Liam’s contact.

“Liam. Pick me up, please.” You said into the phone through breaths once you realized he answered.

You heard a breath through the line, “Liam’s not gonna be able to do that, sweetheart.” A dark voice said making you gasp, stuttering over your words you heard a crunch behind you. Turning around, Regulus stood there.

“Bring her to my dad.” He said shakily, you shook your head as two people came beside you. “No!” You yelled as you elbowed one of them in the face, then punching the other one. You looked at Regulus before running, you didn’t make it past his mailbox before you ran into someone.

Orion Black stood in front of you, he smirked bring a cloth to your nose. The world faded away from you within seconds, you felt like you were meeting death.

You woke up groggily, you felt glued to the floor, the cold dirty floor. You swore you heard your name being said but still couldn’t come to open your eyes.

Kill her. Get her alone and kill her.

Those words rung through Regulus Blacks mind as he stared at your body that was covered in dirt and blood. His fist clenched against his sides, you were Regulus’ mission— you killed many death eaters alongside Liam Willams and many other. Yet, when he got to know you he couldn’t kill you. His mom slapped him and called him stupid

‘You’ve only known her for two days.’ She spat at in his face, now he watched you try to come to your senses.

“Black, step away from her.” Williams spoke from behind him, like he gave a shit. He looked over his shoulder to glare at the man.

“Regulus?” Your hoarse voice got him to look back, “please, I don’t wanna die.” You whispered, you were sore everywhere and couldn’t move.

Regulus tilted his head to the side, “yeah? But you wanted to kill me? You’ve killed a lot of people.” His words spat at you like venom, puncturing every part of you. Never once did you think this day would come.

“You people, sick people killed my parents. Killed innocent people.” Anger boiled in your body somehow giving you energy to sit up, now face to face with Regulus.

“What’s the difference between them killing your parents then you killing more than that. This sick man behind me, has manipulated you into thinking this is—“

A loud slam cut his sentence off, “Step away from her, Regulus.” His father said, he immediately straightened his back and stood by his father.

“Sweetheart, do you know the punishment for killing all those people?” Orion smiled mimicking his son’s actions before, leaning down to look at you. You felt small under his gaze.

He cocked his head to the side as you avoided his eye contact. “Hm? We make you feel the pain of every single person you killed, that’s a lot, right?” Orion smirked, “Y’know, I kinda wished we found you first. You’re a good one.” You felt like puking as the man spoke.

Next thing you know, three men and one woman walks into the room with smirks on their faces. You look to Liam for answers, he just stares back to you making you open your mouth in shock— he promised to protect you from this.

“These three are family members of who you’ve killed, so they’ll be here to enjoy the show— while also joining. “ Orion makes a noise, “but the star of the show— my dear son. Regulus. I’m so proud you, son. You’ve made me and your mom so proud. Tom will be thrilled to hear you caught her.” Orion grabbed Regulus face who flinched, you now realized this was some sick family shit.

Regulus turned to look at you over his shoulder, you had tears flowing down your stained cheeks. Tears prickled his own eyes, he finally found someone he felt like he could know and grow to even like. He also had never fucking killed someone, he just was handed simple missions.

“Please, no.” You begged, a woman with curly hair came to you, she grabbed your face making you whimper. “Shut up, girl. You will suffer the consequences of your actions!” She shouted in your face, you desperately tried to pull away from her face as her nails dug into your skin.

She finally pulled away, you breathed out in relief but quickly gasped again seeing Regulus stand behind her with something in his hand. “Only on one condition will I kill her, father.” He said staring into your eyes, you pleaded quietly.

“It’s just me, I’ll allow you but I don’t want them here.” He smiled at you causing you to furrow your eyebrows,

“Reg—“

“Father, I will not do it.”

Liam chuckled from the corner, “Shut up. You three out.” Regulus smirked, handing you the metal bar in his hand. You took it with the handcuffs around your wrists, your hands shaked.

‘Do it.’ He mouthed to you, shaking your head with tears. A sob escaped your lips, from behind Regulus it seemed normal.

“Fucking hell, just do it!” Liam yelled catching Orion’s attention, you squeezed your eyes shut slamming the bar against Regulus’ ankles, he groaned falling to the ground.

Orion looked at you, he had no weapon but you were locked to the wall. He walked towards you, as soon as he got in arms length you smashed the bar against his head, he fell to the ground with a loud groan. Regulus dug into his father’s pockets grabbing the keys, tossing them to you.

Your heart beat quickened as you struggled to put the key into the hole because your hands were so shaky. You gasped out once you heard the click and the freeing feeling around your wrists.

“Run.” Regulus spoke, you looked at him as he stared at his father, confused on what to do.

You crawled to him, “Regulus, please. We can go.” You whispered, “You don’t have to do this, we can live.”

“We won’t get out of here alive.” Those words made your stomach drop, “I’ve done the unthinkable, you are wanted by every death eater. Even if we do, we won’t be alive for long.” Regulus looked at you through his eyelashes, tears brimmed his eye-line, like he didn’t want them to fall.

“I’m tired of fighting this,” he whispered causing you lips to frown. “Everyday is a battle and in the end I know I won’t end so just go, I’ll give you time to run.” Regulus was doing a lot for you even after the two of you were sent to kill each other.

Suddenly, the door slammed open. Sirius Black and his friends stood in the frame. The older black brother pointed a knife at you, “Get the fuck away from my brother.”

You immediately fell back, he stormed towards you grabbing your shoulders pulling you up and pushing you up against the wall, feeling the knife against your throat making you gasp.

“Sirius—“

“You think you can get away? You tried to kill my brother.” You whimpered as he pushed the knife harder against your throat.

“I-i know, I’m sorry, sorry. I just- fuck, I’m sorry, okay? I’ll do anything, just please don’t kill me. I ha-haven’t lived! Oh my, I really don’t wanna die.” You begged, you knew you sounded stupid but you did not want to die.

Sirius looked at you questionably as you squeezed your eyes shut, he slowly let the knife fall from your neck, you let out a breath without realizing you held your breath the whole time.

You saw Liam move from the corner of your eye, you wanted to kill him. He hadn’t done one thing to protect you like he’d sworn, “C’mon, little one. Come get me out of these things.” He spoke catching everyone’s attention, you scoffed.

“Why the fuck would I do that?” You spat, Sirius cleared his throat.

“We don’t have time for this, we gotta leave.” He spoke, everyone nodded, Regulus didn’t. He continued to stare down at his father, you had taken away someone just like someone had done to you.

Sirius knelt down whispering to his brother, you stared at the other people. You probably looked insane, a dress that had ripped up, makeup messed up, and hair crazy. You also had bruises covering your body, blood smothered everywhere.

“Lets go—“

“Woah! What about me?!” Liam yelled, you stopped dropping the keys onto the floor— too far for him to reach as you followed the group out of the house, everyone stopped once they reached outside.

You shivered at the cool air, “Can I go home?” You said shakily causing everyone turn to you, some of them with hatred and some with pity.

“Yeah, just don’t let me catch you anywhere near us.” Sirius spoke, you nodded, he actually scared you. You looked at Regulus who was already staring at you, you smiled before you turned around and began walking.

Silent tears began to fall, there was a long road but you didn’t care. Everything was numb, you couldn’t fell the concrete on your bare feet. You wished Sirius had killed you or Regulus killed you the first time he’d saw you. There was nothing to live for anymore.

[mynameismisty]

SPEAK UP| KUNG LAO X FEM!READER

☆SUMMARY: You hated his pride and cockiness. He hated your seriousness and sarcasm.

☆WARNINGS: blowjob, making out, praising, use of the name "princess", friendsenemies with benefits, face fucking

☆SIDENOTE: Clearing out my drafts because I realized I've dissappeared

NSFW BELOW THE CUT.

"Why do you hate Lao so much?" You hear Raiden chuckle from your side as you looked up from your phone.

"He's too... prideful. It's really annoying." You muttered while turning off your device and putting in your pocket, turning your attention to Raiden. "Plus he's always so pushy."

"Don't you wanna atleast try to get on his good side?" He said, eyebrows furrowed.

"Well, he is coming this way right now, ." Raiden said as Kung Lao walked up to him, patting his back and giving a small greeting, unlike to you, he narrowed his eyes.

"How? He's already on my bad side. Can't find the time to push away our differences and accept eachother." You roll your eyes. "Plus, for what else? As long as I know, since I met your little friend, he hated me and I hated him."

"Looks like princess is here."

(^o^)

"Oh, yes, put that mouth to good use." Kung Lao moaned as he found himself burying his cock deep in your throat... again. "I m- mean like come on, why do you have to be so bratty all the time? Your mouth has to serve a purpose other than nagging all the time." He gave small whimper as he felt your tight lips on his.

"Fuck off." You say, but the words ending up a muffle as Kung Lao grabbed a fistful of your hair and pushed himself to the back of your throat.

You hated him, really, and he shared the feeling mutual. But why say you hate him if your on your knees right here, right now? You hated how it made you feel. How Kung Lao simply used you for his own pleasure.

How you *allowed* it.

"Speak up, _____, won't you?" He laughed, in Kung Lao's opinion, he loved when you were like this, glossed lips holding his cock, face a deep blush of red and glassy eyes with tears falling from them. He loved how pretty you looked.

You could feel your throat going sore with every thrust Kung Lao did. More tears welling in your eyes as all you could do was look up at him with hearts in your eyes.

You both hated eachother, right? There wasn't any other feeling... right? Well, it wasn't a time to think about sappy things when he's face fucking you right about now.

But all those questions seemed useless now as his thrusts suddenly got more faster, giving out soft moans. "You- you're such a good girl, taking me like this-"

Your moan in reply almost made him cum as he felt the vibrations through his cock.

"God, baby, you look so beautiful like this, so cute and sweet."

[dapperinsanity]

HH S2 Leaks: Just some whining and complaining from me below LOL

TikTok spoiled things and I almost thought it was fake and realized it wasn’t.

Well, I was hoping they wouldn’t go down that route with Rosie but they did. There was something that was leaked around S1 where Rosie was revealed to be either Lilith/Eve or Roo in disguise. I’m not surprised she owns Alastor’s soul but I am disappointed that Rosie is not who we thought she was before this. They really keep going lower and lower with Alastor’s character though. I fully expected it but it still annoys me. You’re telling me Alastor is basically…nothing? The only reason he’s “powerful” is thanks to Rosie and he can’t do shit without his staff. No one is scared of him and no one takes him seriously. What else is there of him? Just an annoying and whiny attention whore who has no skills whatsoever. He’s pathetic and I will never stop being bitter over how badly the show butchered him compared to the YT pilot.

Now Sir Pentious and his backstory was fine. I didn’t see all the clips but apparently Pentious tries to commit suicide? I haven’t seen the clip for myself but damn. I feel bad for him but that’s because I have soft spot for Pentious.

I found myself actually interested in the leak with Lute hallucinating Adam. I hate both these characters so that was something I guess? It’s nice to see Lute getting so frustrated because no one is on her side.

Sera’s song leak is whatever. I don’t have anything say on it. It’s alright. I don’t have much to say about God’s Speaker or whatever the bird lady was called besides this. If she’s a speaker for god and it’s clear that the show is avoiding anything to do directly with god, I think it’s gonna be revealed that there is no god. Either that or she’s a fraud and isn’t a speaker of God. I could totally wrong but just a thought I’d share.

Let’s talk about Abel and St. Peter. First of all, why the fuck is St. Peter back? He’s annoying. So, what about Abel? Well, idk tbh. If he wasn’t Abel, I wouldn’t mind his character I think? He’s just whatever.

Lastly, haven’t seen any clips of this but apparently, Alastor and Angel manage to get hypnotized by Vox. I’m very worried how that’s gonna go. We already had…episode 4…and we know Valentino and Vox are a thing; I’m sure you get my concern. Like, for fuck’s sake, I hope Alastor doesn’t become a victim too. Look, call me crazy, but once it was revealed Al and Vox were friends in the past, I had a bad gut feeling. Let’s hope my gut feeling was wrong.

Also, side note, can we talk about why the show treats Vox and Val’s relationship as fine? While I know the Vee’s are villains, Vox knows that Angel is a victim to Val. Granted, there isn’t anything saying their relationships is good or bad, I’m just confused on why everyone is chill about VoxVal? Idk *shrugs*

Anyways, I feel bad for the animators who worked hard on season 2 only for it to be leaked. Wonder what’s gonna happen now.

[yayll]

IM SO HAPPY YOU LIKE IT!!! Opposites attract are literally my favorite trope ever, i love bad boy unhinged rockstar Dazai and him developing a crush on the cute, considered the industry sweetheart who dresses in frills and bows idol/pop star Reader, and considering that idols change their outfits to support the themes of songs/tours i can imagine they get a matching outfit set one day and its rock style…..idol reader dressed in black and other dark colors, rips in their clothes and some skin showing……Rockstar!Dazai is biting the bars of his encloser-TeenZai anon

so sorry this is so late angel.... also i may have gotten a bit carried away w this concept................ i love u teenzai anon this one's for u and all the rockstar!dazai adorers out there (and for me bc i'm INSANE for this whole thing put me downnn) basically idol reader taking up dazai's rocker aesthetic for the concept/theme of the tour is literally the DEATH of him. and not in the way he's always wishing for >:3

~ a little something about Rockstar!Dazai and Popstar!Reader finding a middle ground ~

You show up to soundcheck one morning completely in tune with the plan for the show but thinking nothing of it, because you're sweet and cool and in perfect flow! Something Dazai simply isn't and it makes him practically gawk as you saunter past him into the dressing room. a few moments later you walk out in a matching outfit that compliments the one he's wearing and it's all over. Completely fucking done. The man practically goes non-verbal for a few moments when he suddenly calls for his assistant to fetch him his pack of cigarettes so he can dash outside to the alley of the venue to get himself together. The nerve of you to look absolutely ravishing in a completely different aesthetic... So hot. So annoying.

Of course you follow behind him, curious and also hoping he's genuinely okay (you're not just a sweetheart for show and he hates that!) You find him leaning against the wall, his lighter failing to give him the flame he needs for his sweet relaxation. All he hears is soft giggling and light footsteps.

"I'll light it."

You take the lighter from him and flawlessly flicker it alive while he just watches you with the stick between his lips, amazed and slightly aroused. He can't help but notice the way his nerves seem to immediately settle with you nearby and it both comforts and concerns him. Dazai looks down at your face as you lean forward with the lighter, a tiny moment of softness appearing in his eyes as he watches you light the end of his cigarette, the flame from the lighter making his Hazelnut eyes light up slightly. He quickly takes in a long and deep drag, his shoulders visibly immediately relaxing once the smoke hits his lungs, and his cool guy demeanor is back on. You chime in, poking your head back into his line of sight.

"Better?"

You smile at him sweetly, always keeping things cordial.

"Much."

He stares at you under his messy bangs, his narrowed eyes softening by the second as his lips curl upward. You're just too true.

You simply hum, standing around idly though not in the way that claims awkwardness, but rather the comfortable kind of silence neither of them get to experience often in this fast paced industry. You look down at your black platform leather boots, a sheer contrast from who you usually present as and it somehow feels liberating. You breathe out, matching his coolness.

"Thought so."

He almost snorts at that, and turns back to look over the features of your angelic face. no amount of black you wear could overshadow the glimmer that follows you everywhere you go. You're a lucky star that's gone as quick as it comes. One day he'll make a wish on you.

"You know me so well."

You huff into a soft laugh that lingers and eventually dies in your throat when you realize the fluttering in your chest is only growing. Yikes. You mutter, low and careful.

"I just... Didn't want you to have a bad night tonight, I guess. With the concert and the album dropping and all... I hope you don't mind I'm sort of dressed like you, heh."

You end it with a shrug as you look ahead at the clouds in the sky and for the first time in a while you feel a tinge of nerves. you, the industry's sweetheart can still feel that after your major lasting success? shocking.

He huffs slightly in response, leaning his back against the wall and tilting his head up, staring up at the sky as he mutters back.

"It's not like I ever really have a totally good time on nights like this, anyway."

You flash your attention at him, tilting your head. In all your years of the supposed 'clashing' between you, you have never heard him speak this way.

"Nights 'like this'?"

He glances back over to you, bringing the cigarette back to his lips for another quick drag before responding, watching you stare at him intently.

"Ahh, performing. All the people. The fans being all over me. The media. All of it, all the time. It's exhausting, actually. I know I'm super hot and talented, but the performance doesn't always end when I get off that stage."

This causes you to lean in just a tad and murmur, curiously.

"... So why do it? All of this?"

And just when he's about to truly spill it all, talk about his never ending battle with his mortality and his career and the way you dominate every single topic in his mind, he simply just looks at you and blows cigarette smoke in your face with that signature smirk of his you always pretend to find so irritating.

"Sometimes it feels real and constant. It's the only thing I can count on... Other than seeing your silly little imitation of me on stage. Hate the mesh, by the way."

You simply stare, taken aback by his oddly sincere and blunt answer. You mutter under your breath as you bite your freshly manicured nails.

"...Yeah?"

Dazai hesitates a moment, his dark eyes glancing away from you as he takes another drag from the cigarette, a moment of vulnerability flickering through his expression. He takes another moment before responding, his voice gruff and a little shaky.

"Yeah..."

He continues to stare off to the side for a long moment, a hint of something like longing and painful restraint crossing his expression as he seems to internally struggle with something. Dazai's expression hardens a little as he finally looks back at you, his shoulders visibly tense as he puffs on the cigarette again, blowing out a long stream of smoke as he tries to push down his own feelings.

But you can tell, you can always tell. Media training, baby.

After what feels like an eternity, you reach out for his cigarette and take it in between your lips, taking a long drag of it yourself. You puff out smoke in a far less cool way than he made it seem, feigning nonchalance as if this isn't the first time you've ever even TRIED one of these damn things.

"Minty..."

He glances at you as you take the cigarette and take a drag yourself, a small but subtle flicker of curiosity in his expression. He watches you exhale and blow out the stream of smoke, before responding in a sardonic voice.

"Since when do you smoke, little miss bubblegum pop?"

You choke out a laugh, waving away the smoke to regain your breath. You smile faintly with a shrug as you hand it back to him after taking one more drag for good measure.

"I don't."

He raises his eyebrows slightly, giving you a look of mischief.

"Then why are you puffing on my cigarette, hm? Your manager would have a stroke if they saw you like this, you know. I'd be marked as a 'bad influence'~"

You shrug again and hum with all the bravery in the world your little heart can muster.

"...Tastes like you, is all."

He just continues to stare at you for a moment, processing your answer. Dazai's expression still remains as unreadable and emotionless as ever, but his eyes flicker for a moment, something indiscernible flashing through them for a fleeting second. It's the internal panic from how badly he wants to kiss you right here and now. He seems to hesitate for a moment before responding with a small smirk forming on his face and sounding wayyy too eager.

"...Is that a good thing?"

You exhale, the smoke leaving your nostrils as you murmur softly, eyes locked on his.

"...Yeah. It's a real and constant thing."

His breath hitches, shoulders visibly reacting by scrunching up as you give your answer. He doesn't say anything, but there's a flicker of something like vulnerability in his expression, a hint of softness around his eyes that betrays his usual cool and careless exterior. He remains silent for a moment longer before responding, his voice a low murmur.

"Yeah... Real."

And before you know it, you simply decide to say fuck it! And do something you'd never have the guts to do before Dazai and his ridiculous self entered your life. You lean in slowly, inching closer and closer to his lips. You're within an inch of kissing him when you whisper.

"... For good luck tonight, Osamu."

Dazai watches you in silence as you lean forward towards him, his expression going from unreadable to filled with pure unfiltered need. As you pause just inches away from his mouth, his eyes flicker once more, his dark irises shifting down to your lips for a second before returning to your eyes. For a moment he doesn't move, just staring down at you with an almost pathetically vulnerable expression on his face. You know better than to say his name like that. Then, in a low voice, he whispers back.

"... Shut up."

He leans down suddenly, pressing his lips against yours. Dazai's lips press against yours in a firm, almost desperate kiss. One of his arms wraps around your waist, pulling you flush against his body, while the other hand moves up to cradle the back of your head, threading his fingers through your purposefully messy yet somehow still soft hair. The kiss is passionate and intense, you can't even fathom how it's all gone down like this but you don't care.

Dazai thinks about how you taste delicious, sinful, and more importantly: Real.

For a few seconds, he kisses you deeply, his tongue exploring your mouth, before he finally breaks away, the both of you gasping for breath as he speaks in a quiet and hoarse voice.

"I can't think straight around you like this you silly little thing."

You smile, suddenly back to being bashful and absolutely ready for whatever happens tonight. You both look stunning and it's not just the outfits that speak on it. It's the genuine spark between you two, the collaboration everyone wanted but you NEEDED.

Just when you're about to reply to his snarky comment, your managers bust through the door to the alley and frantically fuss over you both as they yap about how late you are to soundcheck and the pre-show meet and greet. And why do you smell like cigarettes?!

Dazai turns up the charm and bad boy personal while you play up the apologetic and totally easygoing idol who's more than happy to make up for the lost time with the fans! And now in a different color scheme than they're used to!

Before you and Dazai are whisked away into opposite ends to finish getting ready, he leans into the shell of your ear, barely grazing it with his lips as he whispers playfully.

"You drive me crazy. See you on stage, and then maybe backstage~"

You swear you can feel every nerve in your body twitch when he smugly prances away from you after saying that.

... And of course the concert is a total jam, everyone's raving about the new music + matching outfits you're both sporting along with the undeniable chemistry you're cooking up. It's in the way you smile at each other in between songs, or when Dazai's singing a particularly flirty lyric he gazes at you instead of the screaming fans in the crowd. You dance and he watches, just like everybody else always does when you're in the room. Spellbound.

He may be wishing on you a little earlier than he thought he would be, but you don't seem to mind one bit, his lucky star. ⋆｡°✩

[machidielontheway]

hurting myself by wondering why i'm the only one who got a thumbs up emoji reply instead of a heart emoji reply, and also not sure of getting the meaning of the reply i got after, especially with another emoji added where i'm ??? what does it mean here

[bixels]

tarpit site.

[uncanny-tranny]

I recently had to do a project in one of my psych classes, and man, I knew that CBT was used for every little thing, but seeing over and over, "do CBT! CBT is the best for every mental illness!" was so jarring. I'm absolutely biased because of my own experiences, but I just don't think it's as universal a treatment model as it's touted.

If you didn't benefit from CBT, it's not because you're lazy or didn't try hard enough or lacked intelligence or foresight into your own needs. Frankly, it's a therapy model that (I think) shouldn't be the only readily-accessible model and among the only therapy models covered by insurance. Some of us should not be treated in a CBT model and that's okay. It's not a sign of poor character or unreasonable demands, and if you don't think it's a model that works for you, then it's your right to express that!