#because it's so fuckin out of nowhere
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So if Husk is a trans man, and his kid Violet is from when he was alive ... was he the one who gave birth to her? And does that mean that he wasn't out as a trans man at the time? And that his partner was a man?
He was in fact the one to give birth to her yes, but no one knew he was trans; he kept it hidden and bounced from place to place before anyone could start to question him 💀 he was on his own when Violet was born (terrible idea but he didn't want to risk being outed by going to a hospital)
Omg the partner thing is interesting; they split before husk realised there was a baby in the picture, and the partner never knew. Until me and albo accidentally made a whole arc of said partner wanting to get redeemed at the hotel cause they're also in hell, and now it's a whole thing because a big part of why they split was due to transphobia from the partner but since landing in hell they've realised a lot of that was actually internalised because they are also trans and it is a wholeass arc of this au now LOL
#drag replies#hazbin hotel#huskerdust fambly#the partner arc snuck up on us out of nowhere I stg#and it last like. two years LOL#takes place between rosé and the twins!! she's a lil toddler during it#albo was the one to suggest the partner also being trans but not. knowing that during the relationship#so all their internalised shit caused problems#and I lost my fuckin MIND#so here we are ✨ because that's INTERESTING#emotional over that whole arc tbh. it was not at all planned but it's become one of my faves#also husk going through the whole pregnancy and then birth of violet On His Own fucked him UP#and we get the consequences of all that unaddressed trauma during the rosé pregnancy#listen yous may see mainly the happy fun stuff here but there is a LOT of emotions and trauma in this au#that we have put a lot of thought and care into 🥲💖#thank you for asking anon!!! as ya can see I had things to SAY lmfao
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they should invent a period that doesnt make me the most miserable person on earth
#personal#vent#i will never ever ever be able to pass. by the time im able to get top surgery ill probably be like 30 and the earth will have already died#i will only ever be seen as a confused girl or maybe if im lucky as a feminine man . best case scenario someone looks at me and goes#'oh theyre definitely nonbinary' but i will NEVER just . be some guy. ill never just be a person . itll always either be a label or Girl.#im not going to be able to medically transition or fuckin . go out to meet my friends or anything until i move out and i wont#be able to move out for 3 years minimum . meanwhile everyone else will be getting time to spend together and being able to live on their own#and being able to advance in careers they actually like or at least arent completely fucking miserable in and ill probably be stuck at#FUCKING WALMART the entire time because nowhere else will give me the flexible hours i need for school#my most supportive family is always going to live an hour away from me and ill never truly be able to express myself or my frustrations at#home and even if i could i cant even put half of them into words online even when im really trying the correct words are never there#i get to just sit back and watch as my friends actively fuck up their lives but at least they get to make their own decisions#and then i feel awful on top of that because i shouldnt feel envy over my friends lives . we all have it fucked Especially those in my area#im just. so tired
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Idk I think it's funny seeing people on twitter say things like "Christians want to tell you it's all a part of Jesus's plan until it's them!" cause like idk about you but I've had family members 100% say they're ready to meet the Lord than interfere with his plans via a Tylenol and a flu shot
#I had a cousin think she'd die from covid and actually lost her husband to it#only to say she wasn't scared of the virus because she had the blood of jesus over her#I still have family that says the blood of jesus will protect them better than any vaccine so they won't get it#I had an aunt scoff at me for taking birth control to control my endometriosis#and use my nebullizer for a severe asthma attack#and she refused to take her singular pill for her blood pressure until she literally couldn't see and her sister forced her to take it#she's in her 90's so ig it's more understandable but also she is v healthy for a 90 year old#like there are so many twitter users speaking from the outside that do not understand just how intense these christians can get#the politcians running off christian values or whatever? they just want power and money#aunt mary lou and uncle billy bob in the middle of nowhere georgia?#they'll hunt you for sport for even thinking about taking a claritin#my grandfather doesn't believe in allergies btw and apparently that's a p common boomer thing too#some believe in allergies but think if you have them you're meant to die from them as intended#it's fuckin wild out here#ex christian#religious trauma
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so the property im house sitting at is like. pretty isolated and up a driveway that theres no possible way youre going to go all the way up on accident but a random unexpected car came up and didnt come back down as far as i could see so that is. very fun and not at all frightening ✌️
#i told my parents what was going on and they called the police to have them come check everything out.#no word on when thatll be because. like. mildly middle of nowhere and its cops.#realistically theyre gonna do fuck all. because again. its a cop. but theres no way im going up to check the other house rn.#itd be thin ice for me to go do it tomorrow morning if not for the animals i have to feed.#its been about an hour since it initially happened so ive calmed down a little bit but im still freaked out being alone like this#god itd be so fuckin cringe if i got murdered in this shitty slasher scenario. im wearing a fuckin halloween t shirt.#you cant be slashed while wearing a slasher thats embarrassing.#anyway. i doubt im gonna die. but it is scary when some motherfucker is outside#and you cannot see them#ghost.txt
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a junkyard dog ain't always pretty but you always love that toothless smile
#i miss tyler bertuzzi#liv in the replies#the absolute way i just got bodied by shake it out coming on as i uploaded the pictures to this post#um. sorry not sorry. the google doc/pdf of the quote that i used for this was literally titled#god fuckin curse the notesapp i wrote two years ago#directly referencing the note i have (pretty sure from when the maple leafs seemed really serious about wanting bert) & i remember#being slammed out of NOWHERE by the sudden thought (because i've been preparing for years for bert to leave) (andreas in feb moe in april)#verbatim: if tyler bertuzzi ever gets traded or retires it's catalog of unabashed gratitude the heart part and i will sob#S T O P#tyler bertuzzi#detroit ride or die#this does actually rival we don't have a future we have a dog for some of these for me which. fuck u past me for being so right about this#things that i need you to know for the narrative: oh dumbstruck is tyler's first nhl game (vs the flyers)#thank you every day is from tyler's hat trick & yes the bruins on knucklehead is intentional because it hurt my feelings#also should note. i'm sorry is from when tyler broke his hand this season & no i'm not okay about the narrative of who is he w/o his hands#yeah yeah yeah. the last five make me want to throw up screaming crying shaking wailing#i made it so much worse by looking at dyl's post#dylan larkin#anthony mantha#andreas athanasiou#catalogue of unabashed gratitude [abridged] - ross gay#my sincerest apologies to fabs i simply could not put him in here he was in we don't have a future we have a dog that was all i could take#should i have abridged the last one to say 'for every day'? yeah probably. did i think of that too late? also probably. wait hang on#ooooookay so i did it so now that tag doesn't make sense but it's fine i also have an alt for dumbstruckand pelican heart :)))))))#what i wish i could've made for u but the pictures don't exist is tyler running down the drive barefoot on the phone the day he got drafted#do you really believe in him? is he a good kid? no problems? you're gonna love him. you're gonna love him.#i'm also fully not even gonna talk to y'all about vrana. i can't do that red string tonight. we're also ignoring sunny#STEVE WHAT FUCKING TEAM ARE WE GONNA HAVE TO PLAY WITH#yes i made this exclusively for me no i don’t care yes i am a lil sorry i love him u’ve heard it all before. dilly i’m kissing ur forehead
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bless all the fic writers running with the subtext that tekotteh was a blatantly manipulative shithead to kotallo long before he sent him to the kulrut
#exiling your (basically) adopted son because you feel threatened by his success doesn’t just come out of nowhere#how long was that piece of shit cutting away at kotallo’s autonomy and worth#while simultaneously making him feel special and powerful#ouch#the more i read the more i want to throw tekkoteh off his beloved boulder wall#hfw#goddd okay i’m not done#thinking about how difficult it must have been to trust any authority figure or peer ever again#but also needing to prove himself so badly#and so desperately wanting a leader (and father figure) he could give everything he gave tekkoteh#and hekarro/the marshals/escorts/chaplains slowly building him back up and setting him at ease#IM UNWELL#Okay but THEN#losing so many marshals and his arm#and facing that same feeling of exile and betrayl again#AHHHHHHHHHHH#and hekarro still loving him and believing in him#and loving him enough to let him leave with aloy to find himself again#GAAAAAAAAAAAAAH#i love these characters so fuckin much#h#goddammit i wish the mobile app let you edit tags#my fingers are so clumsy#lmao i’m back not a minute later with more rambling#going absolutely feral for hekarro and the marshals touching kotallo in a way that makes him feel safe and respected#and him slowly understanding that touch can be genuine and unmotivated by power or pressure#because as we’ve established tekkoteh is a piece of shit#and likely used or withheld his warmth and affection to manipulate kotallo#FUCK#my notes
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It's pretty insane that saying that arwen could have been done so much better is met with such disdain. And the way I'm seen as an Arthur stan or Gwen hater by saying that. I'm literally saying the both of them deserved better..?
Gwen (and Arthur let's be completely real here) was a victim of a show that was chronically inconsistent in their characterizations of people. She suffered (as Arthur did) from a story line that I'm sorry is just really bad. And you can still love Gwen and Arthur from legend. But I can still say this interpretation falls short in showing the growth of their relationship in a way that feels real and not just .. necessary.
#bbc merlin#once again. no this is not because i ship merthur#i think there are moments i really like of Arthur and Gwen interacting and i think merlins interactions w both of them are sweet#but it feels so forced#youre telling me yall didnt feel the difference between s1 and 2 and on?#you didnt notice how they went from polite but distant to 😍 from nowhere#if they had just shown us some sort of hate to friends to lovers but it was rushed#in the span of one episode she goes from detesting him to kissing him and liking it and then later being lovesick#and for arthur he goes from learning modesty in s1 to becoming a complete prat again (for the Jokes you understand)#to completely lovesick with her and angsty because he doesnt want to have a secret relationship and his father wont accept her#that rationale is fine if it didnt just come out of fuckin nowhere#that's all im saying#its so rushed#and for what?? they could have spent time and energy having that build up with merlin watching it happen#and instead the writers decide to just tell us instead idk#but apparently that means i hate gwen and woc and whatever other bullshit
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oh so now the birds are eating the <25 cherries i've got growing on my tiny tree
literally everything i've planted in this fucking garden has either died on its own or has been killed by birds/bugs
#my garden is a microcosm of my whole life right now#my life has been on a downward spiral since last july and bestie i am starting to reach my fucking limit#defaulting to thinking ''i wish i were dead'' at every little inconvenience is BAD!!!! i know!!!! but it's true!!!#the mint from trader joe's was infested with aphids and i've been cleaning it off every day for 2 weeks and it's STILL got them#like... this plant is 1 foot tall with two little stalks and less than 30 leaves. it hasn't grown in the 2 months i've had it#the money plant still reeks of mold and has to live outside because of its smell and the fungus gnats#the golden sage just fuckin.... burned to death????? it turned gray and DIED#the one and only bean plant that sprouted just ejected the only 2 true leaves it bothered growing#the originally robust blackberry cane is withering. the other two did get better but started from the ground up. there's 1 blackberry total#the rosemary hasn't gotten any bigger in the 3 months i've had it#the scotch brooms don't look so good. the salvia haven't gotten any bigger in 3 months and the creeping phlox bleached and died#the thyme is doing okay and the culinary sage is hanging in there but i don't have high hopes#not a single fucking wildflower sprouted in the yard. i used 2 bags of seed+mulch that was supposed to cover 600sq ft (the yard is 400)#the mourning doves ate a bunch of the seeds and the rest never sprouted#there's a few puny sunflower sprouts but the cottontail came and ate some of those leaves#the cottontail also ate an entire stalk of the potted mystery flowers#the huge plant i moved in November... the one that surprisingly survived frost/freeze... can't handle the heat and is now dead#i just...#the job market is awful. the salaries are worse. the neighborhood is in the middle of nowhere and inhabited by paranoid cops#everyone has big dogs who go apeshit when they hear ppl walking#and the fences are short and the dogs are big so i'm scared to go walking because EVERY. DAY. on the nextdoor app are people#announcing that they found a dog wandering the neighborhood. or ppl saying ''omgggg my dog got out of the yard! have u seen it?''#spring was all wind/gusty and it battered the blackberries and sucked all the moisture out of the yard#so the 2 tons of compost that we rototilled into the dirt? it's just dust now. there's nothing living in that soil#and now summer is here and it's too hot and these plants don't have a chance#i hate everything
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Very excited for the next few chapters because I am having so much fun writing Savage.
#chit chat#galidraan au#what's going on with cody idk none of him scenes are going right#savage however is having a Time™️ and it's going *great*#im so glad i got this chapter out of the way because this is where the fun begins#in pretty much all of the plotlines#it took us 33 chapters of fuckin around and going nowhere but stick with me cuz everything is about to happen :)#we hope anyway#cuz u know how it is with life and writing rn
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Hot bug spring (we cannot leave our bed for Agonies Reasons so we're lying down with iSaT and hot chocolate to do Absolutely Fucking Nothing for the forseeable future)
#we speak#we are also wearing a hot outfit while doing this but that is less a spring thing specifically and more an us thing in general#we like wearing lingerie and if we have nowhere to go well then might as fuckin well break out the hot bra#the fact that we are something like a stereotype of women from an 80s show or whatever is not lost on us#whatever. we weren't put into this world to not be pretty. wouldn't be a transvestite without at least a bit of hot girl shit.#something something outdated gay stereotype we know scarlet isnt dressing pretty to trap people because we're him#(<statement that should not be taken as a fictive thing as to our current knowledge he's not literally in our brain)#(we think.)#(for some reason we are suddenly uncertain about this so hopefully this is not a sign of some variety)
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The difference between my regular type of mephinite content and the ghost au mephinite content may seem like a jump but you need to consider that I am literally insane
#trash rambles#mostly because there is an amount of delicateness (is that a word? idk i shoulf be asleep who cares) that seems out of nowhere but you have#to consider that actually its a line of logic that would make perfect sense if u could read my mind because uhhh#i get embarrassed while talking aboht ships so i like dont actually post most of my thiugbts about dynamics and stuff so i just fuckin#sit here#just thinkin aboht it to myself#i actually dont remember ehat my point was bc im eepy and also embarrassed and i dont even know what about so erm#good nigbt
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I'm just gonna complain in the tags tw medical stuff tbd etc
#its the final stretch and i refuse to will anything into this universe other than this is the final stretch im having treatment and it ends#this is the end of this here and now i will not continue to live like this i cannot continue to live like this i cannot carry this fatigue#any further genuinely i cannot its not a matter of will not anymore i just... i cannot. im legitimately still hiding at the office#despite everyone else having gone home because it takes too much effort to gather my things and walk to my car and im afraid of falling#i forgot my cane at home and its cold and my body struggles with temperature regulating and seizes up so badly#but the fatigue has finally reached a point where its hard to lift my bag or put my coat on or my jewelry without help#or walk across the parking lot just to get to my car and its not like the usual hey we have to adjust to new level of disabled#it's fatigue kneecapping you put of nowhere with a tireiron until you can barely loft your bag or fix tea or prepare dinner#and the fact the all the joy of food has been robbed from me because everything takes so much goddamn effort now#everything takes ten more steps and an hour more planning and special ingredients and yes i know lots of people live like this always#but i haven't and its been a forced short term adjustment period with absolutely no support from medical professionals#and im the only cook in my household/family/immediate social circle so all the labor inevitably falls on me not out of malice#but by default even if they try to help they can only do so much because they dont know what to do#i am literally on the verge of a meltdown just thinking about how much effort dinner is going to take because i cant just#eat a fuckin box of easy mac or ramen with an egg and go to bed no I've got to make a special soup with special ingredients#or a proper balanced meal with protein and veg and whole grain and certain seasoning#and im just so fuckin tired im so goddamn tired if this radiologist doesn't come back and say i can eat freely come Friday#i genuinely dont know what im going to do#food is one of my greatest joys and to be limited even in such bizarrely simple ways requiring so much excess labor#is too much. its too much on top of all this hypothyroidic fatigue. i cant do it.#i dont want to go home and make a fuckin soup. i want pizza. i want take away. i want lamb curry and rice. i want food i dont have to cook.#god im so fuckin tired my body feels so ancient like something wrecked in the seabed being involuntary hoisted to the shallows again#and im not sure its going to survive the process. i mean it has to. we dont have a choice. but fuck.
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do u have a brother/sibling? bc you get the na bros so correct. also STELLAR movie choices
i am an only child (the happy accident)! however, i had a lot of cousins around my age growing up that i saw pretty frequently. we treated each other like siblings more often than not. it also helps that many of those cousins had siblings, and i am the only single child in my friend group. i'm surrounded by sibling-havers whom i enjoy observing interact. i have also pestered them on occasion with questions on what it's like to have siblings so that i can try and portray sibling duos/groups accurately in writing. the relationships between siblings can be so incredibly diverse and multifaceted. it's nutty really. there are some days that i wish i'd had siblings.
and thank you! dazed and confused holds a special place in my heart for very specific reasons, but all three are beloved.
#callsign gremlin checking in#bonus cousin story:#so this is one of my redneck cousins and myself at around the ages of 5 (me) and 4 (cousin)#we're at the family christmas in my late great-grandfather's house#this house was old and huge and he built it himself for his wife (who i never got to meet)#well it had two big staircases#one was a little hidden but the other was huge and curved around the foyer#all of us kids were playing hide and seek in the cluttered upstairs#kinda like tag hide-n-seek tho#so i'm running and my cousin comes out of nowhere and was attempting to push me or trip me#he pushed me down the huge fuckin stairs and i hit my head at the bottom#i'm screaming for a while because it hurt and was not a small staircase#i start to feel better a little later and the hide-n-seek games resume with the new rule of no more tag/running#me (feeling vengeful) caught the cousin the pushed me at the top of the other more hidden stairs#us (one half-redneck and one full-redneck)#staring each other down#i lunge and punch him#he goes tumbling down the other stairs and grabbed my dress skirt so i went with him#so now there's two basically half-feral pint-sized children wrestling and duking it out at the bottom of the stairs#and then we were hugging and crying later because i didn't want to leave papa's house because i love seeing everybody#and this cousin and i were as tight as not-sibling siblings could be#so both of us were VERY upset that i had to leave so my mom dad and i could go back home#even after we'd beat the shit out of each other
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Didn't get the job I interviewed for last week
What a shocker
#literally the only interview ive gotten since I started searching for jobs again#at this rate im gonna have to get a job at the local grocery store and quit my current job#because i can't handle the BS there much longer and im not paid nearly enough#im just so fuckin tired and done and its like#how much more do i need on my resume before im considered qualified for an entry level position???#i have two fuckin degrees and i make less than 15k a year lmao#im so fuckin sick of it all#i hate how my inability to even warrant an interview 99% of the time makes me feel like a failing waste of space and a burden on my family#it feels like ive gone nowhere but in circles this last decade#except ive got chronic illnesses and more debt now#fuckin hell#fox thoughts#fox is tired#fox is job hunting#i don't have the energy to put out application after application only to get one response for every 25 applications#like ive seen people be like i applied to over 500 jobs in the last 6 months and i finally landed my dream job! just keep trying!#like fuck off#for one thing im lucky to find 5 full-time job openings in two months in my field#i CANT apply to 500 jobs#also i just. cant. i cant ok? i don't have the energy or endurance or fortitude or anything like that to apply that many times#and be met with 479 lack of responses and 21 interviews to get a single offer#something something something the corporate society in the Murderbot diaries#were people sell themselves to corporations to work until they die as slaves#is already fuckin here ok#fuck#gonna go stare into the distance and listen to ASR again and try not to cry
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Actual footage of me after an 18 hour work day complete with guilt spirals and shame.
#worked a night shift last night after not sleeping well already. then had to take a client in for surgery. be at the hospital for ~7 hours.#then leave. get him food. get him home. realize none of his meds are in the mar so my staff cant record when they passed meds.#finish with that and go to drop off the company car. dont have my office keys so cant bring them in. fine ok jesus.#get home and have a hell of a time trying to park Husbos car cause its big and im not used to it.#already feel like shit so go to have a shower. then out of fuckin nowhere start guilt/shame/self hatred spiralling because thinking about#clients that died that i knew and how shit i feel because i shouldve done more or done something different or said something#and feeling angry at myself and sad and just fucking missing them#im finally in bed now. ive had a good cry. now im going to bed.#sorry for the vent#just. suddenly everything hit me all at once and it was a lot#ill be ok. i dont have a choice.#the artist complains#the artist has spoken
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tfw you wanna try to play ttrpgs again, but ever since playing a few years ago during a certain two campaigns, you were bullied by people who you thought were your friends because you didn't know how to play and they made up reasons why they should dislike you irl. especially while you tried to be nice to them and give them space and tried to make steps towards interacting with them in rp too.
like no, it wasn't like "oh, it's just character interaction, these characters just don't like each other!" no it was "no joke, I absolutely hate your guts, Miss Iodine, fuck you and I'll be an arse to you in-game and irl. i will ignore everything you and your character say, i will attack your character because why not and say it's just what my character would do, and then start harassing my DMs"
love it when i tried for months to reach out for a proper sit down only to be given a sorry-not-sorry half-assed push the blame onto the victim apology
like yes this lives rent free in my head. you won, if that's what you wanted.
#autumn says stuff#vent#im still so fuckin salty even though its been so long#i just don't understand how people can treat others so terribly and not even think twice about it#never a moment of ‟maybe I did wrong?‟#nah. just tell Miss Iodine ‟You're a problem‟#yes that exact statement was said to me#maybe ‟bully‟ is a cliche word but i dunno what else to call it#like mate i've been nearly stabbed before during what i can only assume was an attempted hate crime. technically i did get hurt ig because#grabbed the knife by the blade as it was being thrusted towards me. i still have the said knife btw. wanna get free knife? just grab it#from your attacker. and then they'll run off because they're a little shit. actually don't do that. don't recommend that. okay so the point#is that yk ive been hurt physically many times but goddamn this situation still hurts emotionally#it was funny when said someone in this group told me i was 'appropriating neurodivergent culture.' mate. mate. wot. im how?#take it from me. im not neurotypical lmao. i thought that was obvious but no. no idea where this even stemmed from tbh because it really#came out of nowhere. also being called a fascist for years by these people for liking worldbuilding and star trek was cool. didn't realize#that fuckin reading old soviet books and playing papers please and minecraft makes me a fascist somehow. but you learned it here.#im still so fucking pissed about that accusation. love that their additional reasoning that im somehow a fascist was that#‟you're getting mad and keep insisting you're not a fascist‟ is proof that you're a fascist. what else am i supposed to do? you haven't#even given an ounce of some so-called mountain of evidence.#its cool that no one cared about what these people did to me. better to retain a friendship with them and never bring up what they did.#better to just alienate miss iodine from the friend group. better to never bring it up. better to forget any of this happened. better to#forget that miss iodine exists.#sometimes i wish i could know what its like to not give a flying fuck about other people. I wonder what it's like to be such a shitty perso#fucking hell.#thought i found home when i first met that group. instead it just reminds me of the home i grew up in.#My biological family (save two cool cousins) is probably a collection of some of the worst people in existence.
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