#because it's going to be so hard

[fursasaida]

as my cognitive capacities have improved somewhat (certainly not back to baseline), i have noticed i have a specific issue with typing. namely, i occasionally type (approximate) homonyms of what i intended. “here” instead of “year.” “must of” instead of “must’ve.” “concept” instead of “context.” things like that. doesn’t happen that often, but it never used to happen at all.

i assume this is plain old brain damage? since it happens whether i’m feeling symptoms of a lack of perfusion or not. (doesn’t mean it’s not reversible, and if it isn’t it’s hardly catastrophic.) but anyway i feel like it’s giving me some insight into one of the common kinds of mistakes people make. i was never particularly high-horsed about this sort of thing, but it was something that i simply did not do. whatever it is did not “happen” to me. so while i could certainly infer that such errors were based on sound more than sense, and have some kind of abstract sympathy for or acceptance of that, i couldn’t really imagine how it could actually happen. like. those just are two different words. in my world there was no possibility of confusing them. but here these swaps are, just popping out.

i don’t know if this means that i’m sort of talking to myself as i write more than i used to, and transcribing the “sound” from the inside of my head to the page? is that what causes this?

i used to be very doubtful about the notion of “internal monologue,” at least as a literal proposition, because as i perceived it i only really thought in words if i was working really hard at figuring something out, or at phrasing something. or like, actively telling myself to do something in a poor-executive-function situation, which i suppose is also an attempt to concentrate and also hard work. otherwise it was just...intuitions? connections happening? more abstract than words. presumably this is why i’ve generally had to write my way through things to think them out: the ideas don’t get crystallized enough without being put into words, and the main way to make that happen was to write it down unless i was focusing really hard on some small piece in particular. (also because i will not remember whatever i thought of otherwise.) this would probably all track with how regular to-do-listing became very important to me in the last few years.

so maybe what’s happening now is that abstraction is much harder than it used to be (had to take a four hour nap after answering a question about my dissertation at dinner), so instead everything is being channeled into something like “internal monologue,” and that creates more opportunities for this kind of sound-swap. is that how some other people “normally” think, like all the time? is that what’s meant by internal monologue?

(I suppose this might mean in fact *not* brain damage per se but an artifact of stress. I dunno. I'm not a neurologist.)

[ducktracy]

sharing a very sage bit of advice from The Simpsons' own John Swartzwelder that i've been trying to hamper down in my writing and drawing alike. let your inner crappy little elf do his worst

[such-a-daydreamer]

And then they explode

[socvincjpeg]

No bc if i fumbled ford as badly as bill did i'd be on the news

Edit for clarity: The text says ‘I Grow Maddened’!!

(No bg+ close-up— click for better quality)

[inkskinned]

the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.

sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.

you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.

it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.

but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.

they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.

they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.

barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.

and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.

but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.

they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!

this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.

[ryssbelle]

Drew a bunch of Marinettes in a bunch of different artists styles it was a lot of fun!!

Artists who's styles I mimicked: @buggachat @hamsternamedmarinette @ladybeug @sabertoothwalrus and @anna-scribbles all epic artists 🤟😎

[existentialcrisis-9-5]

Eclipse finally has their licence!

Sorry it took a while, they had to get a few repairs first :P

Sun and Moon's licence :)

The full lanyard

[birbs-in-space]

curious about what's in store for you for 2024? :D

Let AO3 decide!

(Updated from 2023: Up-to-date tag bank, opt-in tag categories, optional dark mode! As always: proceed with informed consent.)

[soldrawss]

Part 2 finally! Part 3 to come soonish,,,

You can find part 1 here!

[electrozeistyking]

"She's Gone"

This bad boy was started on the third of November, and finished on the seventh. In total, there are thirty panels (all of which were drawn separately).

A good chunk of N's dialogue near the end came to me after I did some improv to figure out what he should say. I have since dubbed it "N's Failure Monologue."

[minhosblr]

The only singer ever!

[lazylittledragon]

do i have to post an in-depth tutorial on how i make my frappes at home if it'll get people to stop going to fucking starbucks

[egophiliac]

so on the subject of the "Crowley is secretly Revaan/Laverne/Levin/please Twst give us his name" theory, I think my feelings are best summed up as "I don't really buy it, but it's funny". like, in all seriousness, I'm not opposed to it; I have enjoyed the writing in Twst so far and I'm willing to trust that whatever happens will, you know, make sense and not be terrible. but I'm just not really convinced by the current evidence! maybe that'll change once we learn more, we'll see!

with that said, may I propose a few alternate theories about the possible Crowley/Revaan connection:

[deliasmilkshake]

SLEUTH JESTERS

I read sleuth jesters while I was away from home and i ended up adoring it and then going "im gonna make a simple fanart" and ended up learning how to tween LMAOOO

Anyways this is a gift for @sunnys-aesthetic, creator of the Detective Au and @naffeclipse, the amazing writer behind Sleuth Jester on AO3!

Still image

[excali8ur]

Weird dream.

[shopwitchvamp]

I mean this gently but I have to say somethin' here- I've been getting so much "make your skirts cheaper" "I love this but why are they soooo expensive" etc lately and like look, I know a lot of this is because times are hard.. (otherwise why would I be hearing this more & more this year when prices haven't changed compared to last year) but I just wanna say that one of the only ways I could lower prices (if I was ruthless and didn't care) would be to cut sizing options. Like idk how to word what I'm trying to say, but just know when you shout stuff like this at other brands & they decide they need to find a way to cut costs to lower prices, being size inclusive is gonna be one of the first things to go. I have no plans to do this myself, but for example, a D Size Skater costs me almost twice as much (talking about only the direct from the manu cost, there are other factors too such as that they weigh more so that adds more shipping costs as well) as an A Size Skater. Say I cut D Size altogether.. and many companies would have by now while also not even lowering the price.. I could increase my profit margins significantly right away. Now lets say I cut both C and D and become a shop that only offers the standard range of SM-XL. Wow! Suddenly profits are up so much!! Or maybe going not full corporate greed, I could handle lowering skater prices by like $10 (random number not based on real math idk what things would actually work out to because I'm not gonna do it). But now no one over a size XL can order from me. I fear none of what I'm trying to get across is getting across but I just mean to say, in order to offer what I offer, the prices need to be what they are. They aren't set arbitrarily high & lowering them would mean needing to make choices that I will not make (becoming less size inclusive or making my business unsustainable in the sense that it would not survive long).