#because it was so easy to end this serie properly

[loveatfirstfight5-0]

Summary : As Steve sits on the plane, staring out the window at the Hawaiian coastline, something doesn’t feel right. The journey he thought would bring peace now feels hollow. The ache in his chest isn’t the pull of his memories or unresolved questions—it’s the thought of leaving Danny.

[bigmoon-is-bigwife]

I was thinking about why people hate C!Scott in the life series so much compared to other characters and I think it's because of how he portrays himself in his POV. He almost never displays weakness to anyone, including his own viewers. When things are going bad you'll see most life series POVs start to panic and they'll tell you that they're scared and worried but Scott rarely does that. He may say after the fact he was concerned about a situation but you never really see him properly scared the way you see others.

He doesn't really vocalize his fear because of the facade he puts up. Admitting you are scared and don't have control over a situation is basically like losing. That's something that could be exploited and Scott is nothing if not calculating. (I think you could also argue there's more going on there like self loathing and holding himself to a higher standard)

However, when you see a character afraid or struggling, it humanizes them to you. It makes you feel bad for them and makes you sympathize with them. It makes you want to root for them. When you have a character like Scott who refuses to ever let that fear show it's easy to forget they have feelings. It's easier to demonize a character who rarely shows you their vulnerable side.

I think you could also make a parallel here with Joel who is very similar in the camp of "If I Admit I Have Emotions I Will Die" but Joel is much more volatile and outspoken that his emotions still bleed through. Joel will deny that he's afraid and try to cover it up with threats of violence and false bravado but you can still see the cracks in the facade. That's what makes him endearing. Meanwhile, Scott has a much more practiced cold and calculating demeanor. It's much more subtle and easy to miss. They're both attempting the same thing in the end: Trying to convince you that they're perfectly fine and in control even when they're very clearly not. Scott is just more successful at it and sometimes he even manages to convince himself of it too.

[maxdibert]

How can you reconcile being a fan of Snape and defending him so much, while also knowing about the terrible attitude he has as an adult toward his students? This isn’t a malicious question,I’m genuinely curious

I don’t justify Severus’ behavior, I simply understand it. And it’s not for the typical reasons like Harry being a copy of James, or Neville being clumsy, or Hermione being insufferable in class, or just because he can’t stand kids. I understand it because, in my view, Severus is still very much a child.

Take Sirius, for example. We can all see that being locked up in Azkaban for so many years essentially froze his life at a young age, so even though he’s old enough to have grey hairs down there, he still acts like a childish, immature person a lot of the time. And well, that’s exactly what Sirius is—an immature kid. He never had the opportunity to have experiences or grow throughout his twenties. Maturity doesn’t come with age alone but through everything we go through during that time and the experiences that shape us. Without those experiences, there’s nothing to build on.

Severus’ case is different from Sirius’, but it also stems from a lack of maturity and the inability to grow. Severus was a victim of violence from childhood, and that violence didn’t end—it continued throughout his school years. After all that torment, instead of leaving Hogwarts, telling everyone to screw off, and starting a new life where he could rebuild emotionally, he ends up trapped in the same school, playing a role to maintain his cover with pureblood families and burdened with having practically sold his soul to Dumbledore. He has no space to heal, no tools to work through his traumas, and no safe, healthy environment to grow into an adult. Severus is stuck in his adolescence, haunted by his past, his traumas, and totally incapable of managing his most visceral emotions. Sure, he’s great at faking it, acting indifferent, and wearing a mask to hide what’s going on inside. But just because he’s good at repressing doesn’t mean he’s good at managing his emotions, because in that regard, he fails completely. I mean, there are so many moments throughout the saga where Severus gets triggered, and every time it happens, his serious, unflappable façade crumbles, and he acts like a kid throwing a tantrum, someone with unresolved anger issues. That’s when you see that, deep down, he doesn’t know how to handle himself, which makes sense because he never had the chance to do so. We’re talking about an abuse victim who, instead of processing and exorcising his demons, had to lock them away and throw away the key—literally the last thing you should do when dealing with trauma.

What I’m getting at is that, on one hand, it’s reasonable to expect an adult to act like an adult. But on the other hand, as I grew older, went through years of therapy, and worked with people who come from messed-up backgrounds and have lived through terrible things, when I revisited the series and saw certain scenes where Severus is being an absolute jerk to his students, I didn’t just see an adult acting out. I saw the teenager he once was, insecure, feeling worthless, scared in the hallways. And now, for the first time, he’s in a position of power where he can say what he thinks and lash out without consequences. It’s not an adult acting here—it’s a kid who never grew up, trying to have the moment of glory he never had. It’s incredibly childish. And I have to say, I really like this aspect of his character because it’s so consistent with his backstory, even though it’s clearly irresponsible and abusive.

Severus shouldn’t be a teacher because someone who hasn’t matured, grown, or healed can’t be a role model, nor do they have the tools to properly handle situations where it’s so easy to project their insecurities and abuse their authority to compensate for their own shortcomings. But we can’t really expect anything else from him—if he were a well-adjusted adult, it would make him an unrealistic character. It’s impossible for someone with his background, without professional help and many years of personal work, to function properly in an environment like that.

[queenie-official]

Part Two Of Summer Love: ‘The Lie’

series masterlist celebration event camp logo

pairing: Modern!Anakin Skywalker x fem!reader

word count: 11k next part

Monday, 5:00 a.m.

"way too fucking early" you grumbled to yourself staring at the date and time on your phone.

"you'll get used to it" Padme says; walking into the room already dressed for the day with wet hair she was letting air dry.

you groan, every cell in your body screaming at you to crawl under the blankets and go back to sleep. you could actually do that, campers won't arrive till 8:30; of course, if you did go back to sleep now you won't have time for a shower beforehand unless you skip breakfast.

"what are you plotting over there?" Padme asked with an energy you envied, you look over at her wondering how anyone could be so peppy this early.

"world domination" you answer dryly, falling backwards and letting out a soft 'oof' as your back hits the mattress.

"pretty bold plans for someone who can't even get herself up to use the bathroom" she quips; you grab the pillow from beside you and chuck it vaguely in her direction not bothering to aim because that would mean having to properly get up.

"you'd be surprised what you can get done lying down" you argue only to get smacked in the head by the same pillow you just threw.

"Yeah, like what? more sleeping" you hear her say, the words muffled because you don't bother moving the pillow off of your head.

"also napping, dozing, snoozing, resting- the list goes on really" she pulls the pillow off of your face and gives you an inquisitive look.

"first of all, those are all synonymous. second of all i'm not letting you rot in the bed and skip breakfast" you close your eyes letting out an annoyed whine. "let's go, up and at em" she grabs your hands and starts pulling you up; instead of helping, you relax your body completely forcing her to deal with your dead weight.

she groans but doesn't relent, shifting to let gravity do most of the work and aid her in getting you up. "this trick doesn't work on me y/n, i did it on my older sister growing up" she grunts, somehow pulling harder now. "and guess what she figured out the trick to winning, now i know too" she finally gets you up with one last tug and you slam into her from the momentum.

you both yelp then Padme stumbles backwards causing you to trip on her feet and the next thing you know you're both on the floor. a tangled mess of limbs and wheezing laughter.

"you're stronger than you look Amidala" she giggles then gently pushes you off of her.

"and you're heavier than you look" you gasp dramatics in full swing now.

"how rude" you huff, pulling yourself up from the floor and pretending to storm off angrily. grabbing your shower supplies on the way out.

you drop the act when you turn to close the door behind you smiling brightly at her and sharing one last laugh.

╚═*.·:·.✧ ✦✧.·:·.*═╝

its easy to forget you and Padme have a third roommate, not just because you two spend all of your time together when you're in the shared room or the fact you both pretend she doesn't exist but mostly because Jasmine seemed pretty content with you guys ignoring her- with everybody in the camp ignoring her in fact.

whenever you ended up in a room alone with Jasmine she would remove herself from the situation. sometimes physically, other times by just busying herself with her phone.

this unspoken system worked great for the entirety of staff week, unfortunately, now campers were going to be introduced. which meant you had to put aside your morals and differences in order to communicate with one another. the campers' safety came first, so an exchange of numbers was in order.

after your shower, and once breakfast was over all the staff stayed in the Log hall for a final speech from the Camp directors before the Campers finally arrived. during this time you all exchanged numbers with one another. obviously you didn't have everyone's number but you all had enough to be able to communicate with one another through at the very least a mutual.

the number you were currently staring at belongs to Jasmine. Padme had given it to you, she bit the bullet and asked her for it while you were busy smiling at the number you'd just received from Anakin.

"i wish i didn't delete her number from my phone after camp last year, then i wouldn't have had to talk to her at all. i just really thought she wouldn't be back this year." Padme sighed. she was sitting next to you, hunched over and leaning into your side. it was like the exchange with Jasmine drained all the energy she had for the day.

"i could have asked her for us" you honestly felt guilty she was the one who did it. as much as you didn't like Jasmine you at the very least had the advantage of not truly knowing her like the rest of the camp did, it would have been easier for you to pretend.

"if i can prevent you from ever having to interact with her one on one, i would do it again one hundred times" she says while turning off her phone, she had to unblock the number once it was added again.

you could only hope that you'd never have to use her phone number. Padme said that it was probably unlikely as long as Jasmine doesn't lose the kids she's in charge of and vice versa, and as long as an emergency doesn't arise.

emergencies weren't a common occurrence at Camp Wookiee and the staff took great pride in that fact, so as far as you were concerned this meant you'd be able to remain contact-free with Jasmine. what could possibly go wrong right?

“you two look rough" Rex's voice pulls you and Padme's attention away from each other and your thoughts.

"thank you Rex, that's just what every lady wants to hear first thing in the morning" Padme's voice was dripping with sarcasm, a sour look on her face as she glared at the man who now sat in front of you two.

"happy to be of service" he answers back just as sarcastically. it's not long before Anakin and Ben find and join you guys.

Ben sat beside Rex and elbowed him in the ribs as a greeting. "the hell was that for!" Rex grumbled and Ben just shrugs.

"you probably deserved it judging from the looks on their faces" he answers with the cross of his arms and a smile. you don't bother hiding your own smile that grows on your face, the corner of your mouth twitching from the urge to giggle.

"you guys ready for the campers to arrive?" Anakin asks from beside you. his choice to sit beside you any chance he got no longer phased you but it still confused you. especially when there was an open seat right beside Padme, you chalked it up to him being nervous to sit next to her.

"yep, we got the list of names from Bail this morning; i've got a lot of returning campers to look after" Padme spoke up first and Anakin leaned in closer towards her, what good it did with you in the middle of them you didn't know.

you leaned back only slightly, fighting off the warmth in your cheeks from how close his face was to yours. his lashes were long and there was the cutest little mole on his chin that you hadn't taken the time to truly notice before.

Ben cleared his throat and Anakin pulled back to look at him, you internally thanked him when you noticed he'd done it for you. you hadn't even realized you'd been holding your breath and took the space from Anakin to breathe again calming your racing heart.

his brows furrowed and he grumbled a 'what' to Ben who just rolled his eyes at his friend's ignorance. Padme nudges you and you can see the knowing smile on her face out of the corner of your eye.

"who'd you get for campers y/n?" Rex asks curiously. you honestly hadn't checked yet, it didn't feel necessary until you were face-to-face with all of the campers anyway. it's not like you'd be able to recognize them.

you pull out your phone and open the messages app to Bail's contact after swiping out of Honey's chat. there's a hitch in Anakin's breath from beside you that you decide not to address. "uhh here you guys can just look, i won't know who they are anyway" you hold your phone out to them.

a smile grows on Ben's face when he sees the name of one of the campers "ooo Anakin's gonna be mad about this one" he points at the screen and Rex snickers.

Anakin reaches over and snatches the phone from you, you take a moment to process what just happened before turning to the boy with an annoyed look on your face.

"no way!! You got Ahsoka" you squish your face next to his to look at your own screen, you feel him tense for a moment at your action before he forces his body to relax.

"who is she?" you ask curiously pulling back as he hands you your phone back.

"only Anakin's favorite Camper" Padme answers and you raise a brow. "he's had her the last two years working here." she continued and you turn to him for confirmation.

he has his arms crossed and the beginning of a frown starting to form on his face. "yea and i figured she wasn't coming back this year because she wasn't on my list" he's fully frowning by the end of the sentence.

"Why is she your favorite?" you ask curiously, Ben speaks up before Anakin can.

"honestly she's almost everyone's favorite. Ahsoka's the one kid you never have to worry about following the rules. she even helps the other kids stay in check." Ben answers before Anakin can.

"well maybe she chose the crafts center as one of her activities- and even if she didn't you'll be able to talk to her during breakfast and lunch." you say in hopes of making him feel better.

Anakin opened his mouth to respond but was swiftly interrupted when you were all called to attention by Qui-Gon. the campers had just arrived and were loading off of the Buses.

╚═*.·:·.✧ ✦✧.·:·.*═╝

when you first had lunch with all of the staff members last week it was incredibly loud and there were only forty of you. now as you stand in front of 100 ornery children you realize just how quiet you guys were in comparison.

The second the campers were loaded off of the bus camp director Windu led them to Center hall also referred to as the camp auditorium. the kids had already been told who their camp counselors were and to ensure each kid was where they belonged you were instructed to look over the roster that was given to you on the way into the hall and check off each name.

the way this worked was simple, there were twelve kids per cabin. Padme, Jasmine, and you were responsible for all twelve kids at Naboo cabin. however, to make things easier each counselor was given four names out of the twelve to look after in particular. so theoretically you only had four kids to worry about.

the three of you stood off to the side waiting for your names to be called so your campers knew where to go. it was awkward, Jasmine stood directly beside you and no one was allowed on their phones. so the usual method of escape was a no-go.

the silence from all three of you was loud. Padme kept busy with the clipboard in her hands fiddling with the pen chained on it. you had reread the twelve names on the list at least twenty times already in lieu of making the situation any more uncomfortable.

Padme and you both shared a breath of relief the second your names were finally called and saw kids stand up and head towards your direction. you both put on your best fake smile and prepared for the fact you'd now have to pretend to like Jasmine at least a little bit.

"Hey everyone!" Padme started off the introductions. "i see a few familiar faces from previous years and some new ones. here at Camp Wookiee we welcome all" she said with a sugar-sweet smile, most of the kids seemed to like her.

you couldn't help but notice the two boys in the back who were snickering to each other though. you made a mental note to keep an eye on them. "let's do roll call" Jasmine spoke up, this was the first time you'd heard her voice and boy was it weird. it felt almost wrong to hear.

what truly shocked you was how cheery she sounded, it's not like you'd really given much thought as to what she sounded like but if you had to guess that never would have been it. talk about a direct contrast from everything you know about her and how she portrayed herself.

Padme looks down at the clipboard in her hand "alright here's how we're gonna go about this, when i say your name you say here and i'll check you off as present. when your name is called the counselor who will be looking after you will raise their hand for you to join their side, of course all three of us will be here if you need something though so don't think you're limited to just your sole carer."

it was interesting to see this side of Padme, she'd always been a tad on the serious side but there was always a more joking aura to her. As she spoke now it felt like encountering some type of politician- okay maybe that was a stretch but honestly, she was a great leader and it showed in the way she spoke to them.

"Ahsoka" Padme read off first, you raise your hand and she greets you with a smile as she walks to stand by your side. "Aubrianna" she says next and you raise your hand once again.

"you can call me Aubri" she corrects and Padme nods, then writes 'Aubri' next to her name. the little girl smiles proudly and comes to stand at your side next to Ahsoka.

"Colton" the shortest boy of the bunch, steps forward and over to the small group forming next to you when he sees your hand raised. he doesn't say anything, looking rather overwhelmed by all of this. you watch as Aubri tries to spark up a conversation with him and he practically folds in on himself.

you softly call Aubri's name and she happily turns to you, a small gesture for her to come over to you and she's giddily rocking on her feet standing directly at your left side. Colton relaxed the second he was alone again and although he didn't say anything you can tell he felt relieved.

Just about every other kid in the group is named before you get the last one for your group. "Zion" Padme finishes with a smile. he was one of the kids snickering earlier, Zion drags his feet over clearly not happy about the arrangements.

the friend he was snickering with, Matteo, was one of the kids under Padme's responsibility. followed by Lily, Quinn, and Ren.

Jasmine got the most boys out of the group to look after. Henry, Jason and Theodore- well Theo actually, that's what he told Padme he preferred to be called. then there was Mia, the one girl assigned to her, she seemed like a sweetheart honestly. not even the look of a complaint on her face when she skipped over to the group.

"Alrighty well now that everyone is accounted for we can get started" Padme was once again the first to speak, very much the natural leader of the Naboo cabin. "we are gonna show you guys around as one big group and then we can split off for free time before lunch, how's that sound?"

Matteo raises his hand and Padme gives him a small nod as a signal to go ahead. "are we gonna be able to hang out with whoever we want during free time?" Padme's brows crease slightly at the question, a sympathetic look growing on her face that makes the boy's instantly sour in turn.

"sorry but we're going to be dividing so that your primary counselor can get to know you better" Matteo scoffs with the most annoyed look an eleven-year-old can muster.

"that's stupid!" he shouts and crosses his arms pouting. Padme doesn't deter nor does she take offense by his very clear distaste towards her at the moment.

"i'm sorry you feel that way, i understand how frustrating it can be to do something you don't want to do, especially when you just want to hang out with your friends." she lowers herself slightly to his level while speaking "but i have to remind you that stupid isn't a nice word and we don't use mean words here."

Matteo seems to fluster in embarrassment at the way Padme is talking to him like a small child, which of course he was but no middle schooler ever wants to admit something like that. "if i promise that we'll have free time later where you'll be able to hang out with your friend, do you promise not to use that word?" she gives him the ultimatum and he doesn't seem sure what to say clearly having expected more of a fight.

it's only when Zion starts laughing that he seems to snap out of it and mutter a quick 'whatever'. Padme is quick to move on from the situation and redirects the whole group to start heading outdoors.

╚═*.·:·.✧ ✦✧.·:·.*═╝

you plop down on one of the picnic benches near the Camp's Lake. you'd all just finished the tour and gone in your separate directions. Ahsoka, and Aubri seem to get accustomed to you quickly. they both sat directly in front of you and befriended one another instantly.

Colton and Zion on the other hand were proving to be difficult. Zion didn't wanna talk to anyone not out of shyness but simply because he didn't think you guys were worth his time, rather than sitting with the group he sat as far as you would let him. in other words against the nearest tree.

Colton's lack of words was a little bit of shyness and lack of interest, but he at least made the effort to sit with the group. he was on your side of the bench about an arm's length away from you every so often throwing you a glance like he wanted to say something but wasn't sure.

you wanted all the kids to get along but it's not like you could force them to enjoy each other's company, so you decided to do the next best thing. work on getting along with them individually and work your way up.

since the girls were busy chatting and Zion was content sitting by himself and chucking rocks into the lake you decided Colton would be the first on your list to befriend. you just had to figure out how to approach him without scaring him away.

"i like your shirt" you start simple. at first he doesn't acknowledge you but when he realizes that statement is directed to him he finally turns to look at you.

"t-thanks, it's umm Gravity Falls" his eyes are darting back and forth between your face and the ground unsure how much eye contact was considered too much.

"i love Gravity Falls, Waddles is my favorite character" You watch his eyes light up and know you've nailed it.

he scoots slightly closer to you and points to Bill on his shirt "He's my favorite!" he says happily there's a big smile on his face as he flaps his hands excitedly at his sides.

there's almost an instant switch with how quickly He opens up to you- sure it was just him excitedly rambling on about the show but that's a lot of progress from him not talking to you at all. also, you weren't lying when you said you loved the show so it was just as fun for you to listen to him talk about it and discuss theories.

"Hey Snips!" you and Colton's conversation gets cut by Anakin's voice yelling towards your group. Ahsoka's head snaps behind her so quick you're shocked she doesn't get whiplash.

"Skyguy!" Ahsoka cheers perhaps a little too loud as both you and Colton flinch. Colton instinctively covers his ears, squeezing his eyes closed until the noise dials down.

Anakin and Ahsoka share a bear hug before pulling apart. Anakin does what any annoying older brother would do and places his hand on her head tussling her hair, she huffs and shoves his arm away making him snort.

the rest of Anakin's campers finally catch up to him, he must have jogged ahead of them when he spotted Ahsoka. while the two seem to catch up you wave his campers to come join yours, and they happily oblige.

Zion starts talking to the boys and Aubri the girls. oh how you don't miss being a kid when boys thought they couldn't be friends with girls, you had to hold back a laugh at the thought they still might think cooties existed. Colton hadn't left your side, now preferring your company rather than being alone.

you didn't mind, now you had a buddy and if you could provide a space he felt safe to be in that's all that mattered. Anakin Plops down in his usual spot right beside you as always invading your personal space. "so how's she treating you?" he asks Ahsoka while nudging you with his elbow.

Ahsoka takes a minute to access the interaction between you guys before a smug smile appears on her face. "pretty good, we haven't talked much yet but i think that's gonna change pretty soon" Interesting phrasing you weren't going to question her though.

Anakin throws his arm around your shoulder pulling you into him. your face burns and you're pretty sure your heart just stopped altogether before kicking into overdrive, should it be beating that fast? "You're gonna love her" he tells her and gives you a squeeze.

literally what was happening, you two hadn’t even hugged before let alone whatever this was. maybe this was just some one-off thing because he was excited. you let out a nervous laugh but don't push his arm away from you. he put it there what harm could it do to enjoy it?

Ahsoka's eyes lock in on his arm and you can see the gears turning in her head, she's definitely plotting something. you clear your throat feeling like if you spoke beforehand nothing would have come out. "Ahsoka what activities did you choose?" you ask, trying to pivot the conversation just a tad.

"Arts and crafts, Zip lining, Archery, sports, and woodshop" Anakin smiles brightly when she lists off crafts first, looks like he would be able to talk to her more than he thought.

he lets his arm slide off your shoulders making you feel disappointed as much as you are relieved. "you're in for a treat then, you're gonna have to deal with me and Rex" Ahsoka grimaces slightly.

"in the same room? you're both idiots though" you choke on your spit unable to hold back your laugh.

"hey we aren't that bad!" Anakin defends himself looking back and forth between you two as if you'll stop laughing and back him up.

"just the other day you and Rex were fighting over friendship bracelets" you laugh and he dramatically lets his mouth drop open in faux shock that you would further smear his name.

"friendship bracelets really Anakin" Ahsoka deadpans at her former counselor and shakes her head in disappointment.

"hey he started it, i was just defending myself" you hear her mutter 'and you’re the adult' as well as Anakin mumbling 'snippy' right after. suddenly the nickname made more sense you just smiled and turned away briefly to examine all the kids and make sure they weren't doing anything they shouldn't be.

they were all chucking rocks in the lake now, attempting to skip them rather unsuccessfully. except Colton who remained on the other side of you, comfortably swinging his legs back and forth occasionally knocking his shoes together so they would light up.

"who's this?" Anakin asks, turning to get a better look at the little boy beside you. Colton doesn't acknowledge him, he was either in his own world or just simply didn't want to talk to him.

"this is Colton" he turns to look at you slightly when his name exits your mouth but shys away when he sees Anakin looking at him.

Anakin's face flashes with recognition before a small smile appears on his face. "Cool name, when i was little i had a stuffed Dolphin that i named Colfin which is like the same name if you think about it" Colton wrinkles his nose in disapproval.

"it's not the same though and i don't like dolphins" he says rather bluntly Anakin doesn't deter and just nods in acknowledgment.

"the bullies of the sea right?" Anakin asks and Colton nods. "how about sharks?"

Colton ponders the question over for a minute "they're cool but i prefer Jellyfish" there was a brief glint in Anakin's eyes that looked an awful lot like he was going to tease him but ultimately decided against it.

"why jellyfish?" he asks instead which results in Colton's undivided attention ready to explain his stance without a second thought.

"they're the coolest marine animal- did you know there's a type of jellyfish that's immortal!" he's speaking animatedly now explaining how the jellyfish can revert to a younger state by reprogramming its cells.

the key to getting Colton to open up was simply just having a conversation he wanted to participate in. the four of you keep the convo alive while the other kids play exchanging questions as well as your likes and dislikes. it was a peaceful way to spend the rest of free-time.

╚═*.·:·.✧ ✦✧.·:·.*═╝

The rest of the day went by smoothly, all of the kids were getting along well, Zion got his hang out with Matteo at the bonfire later in the evening and you were right to think they were troublemakers. one of the first things they did was find a stick that they tried to set on fire with the intent to chase the other around with it.

safe to say you and the other camp staff did not let that happen, the second they got close to the fire their plan was snuffed. thankfully that was the only real concern that arrived today and currently, you were helping the campers settle into the cabin.

Padme was helping too and as much as you'd like to give Jasmine the benefit of the doubt and say she was helping too, that would be a lie. in truth she seemingly abandoned her kids once they were all in the cabin and went to your shared staff bedroom. it's not like you needed her help and even if you did the rooms were directly connected so she'd be able to hear, but it was the principle of the matter.

you were all responsible for these kids and even though she seemed to handle them fine it was clear she couldn't care less. honestly why was she here? you try not to let your frustrations show as you help one of Jasmine's Campers, Theo, set up his bed.

"alrighty kids lights out at Ten so you all have a little over an hour to just talk and settle in for the night" Padme announces from somewhere behind you as you finish up.

all the kids give her their own versions of okay and continue with their conversations. Theo thanks you and jumps onto his bed with one of the other boys Henry. it was always nice to see how quickly kids were able to befriend each other.

you glance around the room and relax, no unhappy kids that's a win for the day. even Colton was chatting away, him and Ahsoka seemed to get close. the conversation during free time earlier definitely helped.

"we can leave them alone now y/n" you turn to Padme, she's smiling at you from the doorframe ready to head into the other room. you nod and follow after her. plopping onto your bed and truly relaxing for the first time today.

"tired?" she snorts and you turn to her. she's braiding her hair in front of the mirror for the night.

"definitely, you aren't?" she shrugs in response, finishing off the braid and tying it with a small elastic.

"it'll hit me more in the morning when we have to get up early again" she states while walking over to close the door so she can change. you groan already dreading it. "it's not like we'll have to be up as early as we were today" she offers thinking it would make you feel better. it doesn't.

"why did i choose a summer job that requires me to be up this early" you put your hands on your face dragging them down dramatically. "i'm not built for this Padme" she giggles and sits down next to you on your bed.

"you'll be fine, you've just gotta whine about it first" she snorts and you smile, kicking off your sneakers and scooting over more so she can have more space. she takes the invitation and lays beside you so you're both shoulder to shoulder.

"gosh you're starting to know me too well" you laugh, turning on your side so you guys can look at each other better while speaking.

"ooo is Honey gonna get jealous?" she jokes while turning onto her side as well.

"she'd probably be more jealous of me than you" Padme's brows shoot up in confusion.

"She totally thinks you’re amazing and insisted i become besties with you so she can as well through association" You pull your phone out and go onto Honey's chat to show Padme the messages between you two during one of your debrief sessions.

Honey🍯💛: 'i think i’m in love with your cabin mate y/n ngl'

you: 'she's amazing right?'

Honey🍯💛: 'the total package honestly, you have to become besties with her 🙏🙏 i'm not exaggerating when i say i need her energy in my life'

you: 'wow im chopped liver i see'

Honey🍯💛: 'never you'll always be my number one 😚😚'

"oh my gosh" she laughs while reading over everything. "you two are something else"

"friendship goals you mean?" you swipe off of the app and let your phone fall from your hand once you switch it off.

"oh absolutely, i honestly wish i had a friend where i was that comfortable with them. im close with my friends but not that close" you gasp in faux offense at her words.

"i thought we had something" you fake sniffle, pushing your lips into a pout. your ready to put on the most dramatic performance of your life when Padme lets out a loud laugh at your antics.

you break character and smile, she's quick to pull you into a hug. "we definitely have something" you cheer while hugging her back and she laughs more.

you hear your phone ping and pull out of the hug to answer. "is it Honey?" she ask curiously, peering over to look at your screen. your frozen in place from the contact name that appears, Padme on the other hand is smiling like a madwoman. "you okay there y/n?" she asks teasingly.

"why wouldn’t i be it's just Anakin" you do your best to brush it off, but the flush in your cheeks and panic in your eyes gives you away completely.

"just Anakin" she pushes further and you give her a nervous smile. "i didn't know you texted"

"we don't but it makes sense that we start right, we're friends after all" you grimace at how high pitched your voice is getting as well as your own defensiveness.

"of course it does, especially since you’re friends with a mutual crush" you turn your head off to the side unable to look her in the eye, you’re burning alive here.

"he doesn't have a crush on me" you grumble and you can tell she wanted to oppose your statement but instead she focused on something else entirely.

"you're not denying that you have a crush on him though!" she says with a gasp of excitement and you can feel your heart racing, when your silence remains she shoots up energetically. "i knew it!!"

you hush her, the walls here were thin and you could not handle the campers finding out about this. "i don't know- i don't dislike him" she deadpans and gives you that look she always does.

you flop backwards laying flat on the bed with a huff. "y/n i love you girl but we gotta work on your honesty with yourself." she hovers above you forcing you to look her in the eyes while she speaks.

"i can hide from my own desires if i want to" you protest, grabbing your pillow and placing it over your head.

"oh so Anakin's a desire now" she pulls the pillow off of your face and holds it out of your reach. "how quickly the truth tumbles out"

"has anyone told you you’re insufferable before?" You say annoyed and she laughs.

"no i'm usually told i'm a delight in fact" she gives you a blinding smile and you roll your eyes but smile back nonetheless.

"they'd unfortunately be right" she lets out a quick 'aww' while placing her hand over her heart jokingly.

"so are you gonna answer his message orrr" you purse your lips together in thought. "if you don't do it i'll do it for you."

you gasp "you wouldn't dare" she gives you a ‘try me’ look and you suddenly regret ever sharing your phone password with her. "diabolical" you mumble before picking your phone up and staring at the message notification.

'hey you ready for tmr?' it was a really simple message so why was it so hard to work up the courage to respond. Padme stands up and climbs the ladder to the top bunk leaving you to figure this out on your own.

"okay you can do this" you whisper to yourself, sitting up and cracking your knuckles finally opening up the chat to respond.

'totally' you type and then sit there for a good minute trying to figure out what else to say so your message doesn't come off dry and uninterested. maybe you should of consulted with Honey first for back up, it was too late to back out now though.

still coming up empty you just give in and press send hoping for the best. to your horror the message is read instantly and he responds just as quickly.

'three minutes just to type totally, didn't realize i was talking to a granny' mortifying was the only right word for this. you knew he was probably just teasing but that did not help one bit.

one negative about acknowledging you have a crush on someone, you begin to fumble over everything you do. second guessing your every action, why couldn't you just be normal- no, this was fine you can salvage this.

you bite your tongue and ask yourself how you would normally respond to someone saying something like this to you. you take a deep breath and start typing 'not everyone can be the flash when typing'

'much quicker this time trying to fight the granny allegations y/n?' you groan but relax; one bonus of it being Anakin you're talking to, you could always count on him to be unserious and joke around.

'i'm not fighting anything, besides i was talking to Padme when i typed that out so i was a little distracted' a little white lie never hurt anybody, Padme wouldn't mind anyway.

'alright i'll let it slide this time, only because Padme was involved' your stomach twists and you suddenly feel a little nauseous. it was like the universe loved to torment you.

'you know she's practically my bestie here, maybe i can put in a good word for you' if the universe loved to torment you then it was only fair to say you were devoted to torturing yourself even more.

'why would you do that?' you can't help but furrow your brows in confusion, what did he mean why?

you brush it off and reply 'because we're friends and friends help each other out'

'right, i gotta help Ben with the kids so goodnight. i'll see you tmr' strange, you shrug it off and send back a goodnight after liking his message.

you look at the time 9:56 just about time to tell the kids lights out. you turn off your phone and stand up. "do you wanna come with me to turn off the lights" you ask openly, Jasmine of course doesn’t respond but Padme does.

"you've got this, but if any of the kids need something and you aren't sure how to help let me know" you nod at Padme's answer and walk into the other room.

some of the younger kids already put themselves to sleep the rest were either busying themselves or still chatting with friends. "hey guys everyone into their own beds alright, i'm going to turn off the lights for bed"

there is a few groans of protest but they all do what you say anyway. you walk over to the lights before asking if everyone is comfortable and when there's a unanimous yes you flip the switch off and head back into your room closing the door.

you finally change out of your clothes from the day into pajamas and are just about ready to turn off the lights in your room when there's a light flurry of knocks on the door.

you open the door to see Colton, he looks uncomfortable and you can’t help the worry that washes over your face. "is everything okay bud?" you squat down to his height and he looks around behind him before whispering to you.

"i can't sleep in new places" his voice was barely audible not wanting the other kids to hear him. you frown sympathetically and hold your hands out for him to take; he hesitates at first, unsure whether he wants to make physical contact but in the end he takes you up on the offer placing his hands in yours with a big breath of air.

"is there anything i can do to help?" you ask quietly giving his hands a small gentle squeeze in hopes of comforting him.

he shrugs unsure "i don't know…" you let him think on it, taking all the time he needs. "i don't really like the dark" he settles on and you nod immediately scanning through your mind for a solution.

"how about this, we have a little portable lamp that i can set up on one of the shelves in there and i'll leave our room cracked open so you can come and get me if you need anything else" you suggest and he pauses in brief thought.

"but then the other kids will know" you smile softly and tell him to trust you. he's very clearly uncertain but eventually gives in and lets you do your plan.

while he climbs back into bed you head back into the room and grab the lamp off of Padme and yours dresser. placing it on the shelf closest to the hallway and switching it on. Thankfully Colton's bed was closest.

"guys i’m gonna leave this lamp on so it's easier for you all to see if anyone needs to get up and use the bathroom alright?" the kids who are still awake give an okay, or well some of them did, others sorta just grunted like cave dwellings.

you look at Colton who seems much better, still a little uncomfortable but it was still a new environment and It wouldn't be that easy of an instantaneous fix. But you were glad to help even just a little bit.

you left the door open just a smidge like you said you would and then flipped off the lights for the room finally crashing onto your bed- hopefully for good.

╚═*.·:·.✧ ✦✧.·:·.*═╝

to your body's exhaustions' relief there were no interruptions throughout the night. Padme had even managed to get you up this morning without too much of a fight, in other words without having to physically drag you out of bed.

getting the campers all up and ready in time for breakfast was way more difficult than you thought though. a good majority of the kids were in fact worse than you, which according to Padme is a massive feat.

"tired already y/n?" Ben's voice calls you over from the food line.

"not as tired as Anakin" you joke gesturing over to Anakin's tired form at the table closest to the door. you wait for Ben to exit the line so you can both walk over to him together.

"he looks like he's ready to make a run for it" you snort once he's filled his tray. you both start walking toward the aforementioned man who was as usual barely awake.

"yea a run for it straight into his bed" Ben quips and you giggle before taking the seat next to Anakin.

the man in question gives a grunt for a greeting not even bothering to open his eyes. "pathetic honestly" Rex says before joining you three. "you do realize we have to be fully functional in an hour right?" he kicks Anakin from under the table to wake him.

Anakin opens his eyes just to death glare him "an hour is all i need" Rex puts his hands up in defense before he starts eating his breakfast.

"No offense Anakin but you look like you need a lot more than an hour of resting your eyes" you poke his cheek and he swats your hand away.

"you're right, and i've got just the solution" you raise a brow but your question is quickly answered when he rests his head on your shoulder, completely placing his weight against you and closing his eyes. this wasn't actually happening right, you turn too look at the two boys in front of you with burning cheeks.

Rex doesn't even seem phased as he continues eating like this was an everyday thing, Ben isn't any better as he just shrugs with a smug smile. maybe you just needed to relax, after all you did stuff like this with Honey all the time.

you decide to just focus on your food and ignore the soft snores that have started coming out of Anakin's mouth. how he could fall asleep that easily with the noise level in here you weren't sure but boy did you envy it.

you did your best not to read into the situation while finishing up and just chatting with the other boys until it was time to leave. you honestly felt bad having to wake Anakin back up but he was surprisingly not too grouchy, guess that hour of sleep actually did help.

the way today was going to work was easy, now that breakfast was done you'd all head to the bonfire pit where you'd divide into who you worked with. then the campers would go to whichever group was part of their first activity, after that there would be a quick roll call then you'd walk with the kids to the crafts center.

rinse and repeat this process each period throughout the day till lunch, then free time followed by the last two periods till dinner. this of course was just for today so the kids knew where to go as well as knew their schedules a little better. Come tomorrow they'd be in charge of getting to their activities on their own.

╚═*.·:·.✧ ✦✧.·:·.*═╝

"are you sure that's what you're supposed to do?" you hear one of the kids ask Rex from the table near yours.

all the kids at your table were just about done with the activity, working on cutting out the flower petals just like you'd shown them. it was one of the easier crafts you'd found as long as it wasn’t rushed through. you decided the kids would be fine on their own and stood up to take a look at how Rex was doing.

"pretty sure kid" he mumbles and the kid beside him grimaces before looking at their own, it looked better than Rex's but that wasn’t hard to beat clearly.

"Rex you’re butchering it man" you look over at Anakin who's on the opposite side having stood up curiously at the same time you did.

"i am not- it looks just like y/n's does" he argues and you honestly take offense to that statement.

"mine does not look like that" he snaps his head towards you with a frown.

"that's honestly an insult dude" Anakin adds and Rex chucks the paper plate on the table, crossing his arms annoyed. the kids are laughing at the situation, only making Rex grow more annoyed.

"maybe you should stick to organizing the materials Rex" you pat his shoulder encouragingly.

it was the last period of the day, you'd been doing the same craft each time so you'd think by now he'd have gotten it down. to his credit he got it right the first period but somehow has gotten worse each time since.

"i can't believe the camp directors stuck you in crafts" Ahsoka's voice garners the attention of all three of you.

"not you too" Rex frowns, running a frustrated hand down his face.

"i mean Anakin's not much better but he's still doing significantly better than you are" Anakin scoffs at her.

"hey i'm doing great thank you" he defends. you snort walking over to him and pinching his cheek like he was a small child.

"yes you are sweetie, don't let anyone tell you different" you joke; and his cheeks flush, probably from embarrassment as he swats your hand away.

"you guys are cute together" Ahsoka states and You both snapped towards her at the same time.

"you know we aren't together snips right?" he asks crossing his arms with a deadpanned expression, not wanting to come off as joking.

"i do know that yea… do you?" she asks half teasing half serious. you think you see him blushing but that can't be the case.

"he likes Padme" you interrupt doing your best to save him from her teasing. Ahsoka just wrinkles her nose before shrugging off your response.

"everybody likes Padme" okay, factually correct but you know as well as she does that's not what you meant.

Rex clears his throat, "hate to interrupt whatever this is but it's time to get these kiddos to the lodge hall for dinner." you turn to look over at the clock and sure enough it's almost six.

"right" you clap your hands together a few times to get the attention of all the kids, when they clap back you can’t help but smile.

"it's time to clean up so we can head out to dinner. so i want everybody to stand up and throw out any paper clippings or trash you see on the tables while Anakin, Rex, and i put away the supplies we used today, okay? then we can all line up at the door to go" they all give an okay before standing up and doing what they were told.

it didn't take long for the crafts center to look like it did at the beginning of the day, it was a good thing all of the kids were hungry enough to do as asked without much of a fight.

╚═*.·:·.✧ ✦✧.·:·.*═╝

dinners were handled differently than lunch and breakfast. at dinner everybody had to go to their assigned tables to sit with the people at their cabin, it was easier for the counselors this way as the kids would all be in one place to walk back to their respective cabins.

that's how you ended up with Colton seated to your left and Padme on your right while catching up on how your respective days went. well you and Padme were anyway, Colton had headphones to help block out the noise while he ate.

what stopped you mid-conversation with Padme however was something one of your older campers said right in front of you.

"Quinn what did you say?" you ask her completely shifting your attention from Padme to make sure you'd overheard the girl correctly.

"i was just telling Ren how you and Anakin were a cute couple" you felt your mouth open and close a few times at Quinn's words, searching for the right thing to say right now.

"omg Anakin asked you out!?" Padme practically shouts and you feel your whole body tense as the fight or flight urge to run away kicks in.

"No!" you shout back and then turn to the two girls in front of you "who said me and Anakin were a couple!? we are not dating" Quinn tilts her head in confusion.

"all the kids who have arts and crafts with you guys is saying it" she shrugs. "it's okay if you are, no one's judging you guys for it" you truly wanna curl up into a ball and wither away. maybe have the room swallow you whole while you're at it.

"yea i mean we all see how you guys act together it's pretty obvious" Ren adds and your jaw drops again rendered completely speechless.

Padme is snorting from beside you now very much unsuccessfully holding back laughter. "oh my gosh this cannot be happening right now" you stutter out, putting your hands over your burning cheeks just wanting to hide from everyone.

"hey it's time to clean up and head back to the cabin" Jasmine's voice interrupts your spinning mind. she was talking to the kids but it was also directed towards you and Padme.

the kids all do as she asks before you even get the chance to clarify to Ren and Quinn that you and Anakin were definitely not dating or together in any way for that matter. you turn to Padme with pure fear written on your face and she places a hand on your shoulder.

"hey it's fine relax" was it fine? what if Anakin heard the kids talking about it and thought you were the one who started that rumor. "y/n deep breaths hun, you look like you're gonna pass out"

"i'm freaking out Padme" she gives you an ‘i can tell’ look.

"i promise you it's not that deep, you know it's not true and kids are gonna believe what they want" she shrugs a little too calm for your liking.

but of course she wasn’t freaking out it's not like the rumor was about her and who she had a crush on, no it was about you and someone who had a crush on her. there's that torment the universe loved to inflict upon you.

Padme chucks out your trash for you and puts the tray away. then she takes both your shoulders into her hands and guides you out of the lodge hall back to the Naboo cabin.

it wasn't until you sat down on your bed while Padme took care of the kids by herself that you finally touched back down with reality. you look up at the bunk across from you where Jasmine is sat on her phone, living in her own world. as much you hated her for what she did you were very much envious of her right now.

oh what you would do to only have to communicate with your friends back home. home, god you missed Honey right now. a ping comes from your phone, talk about speak of the devil and she shall come.

'hey pookie ☺️ i miss you' it's times like this you swear your both telepathically connected because what're the odds.

'so much happened today Honey it's not even funny' you send back after hearting her message.

'tea time?' you let out a sigh and fall back on the bed as you type out a long rant going over today's events from breakfast to dinner.

'are we sure this is a bad thing?' the question makes your brows furrow.

'how on earth is it not' you wait for her to respond as the speech bubble appears, your attention briefly flickering to the the door as Padme enters.

"i turned on the lamp for Colton so don't worry about him alright?" she whispered to you, not wanting the other kids to overhear. you give her a quick thumbs up, currently too drained to use your voice. she just smiles back at you and closes the door to change, then reopens the door just a crack like it was last night.

your phone vibrates and turns your focus back onto your conversation with Honey. 'i mean i'm not saying it's a good thing, but if even the kids can see you belong together maybe it's a sign✨'

you fight back a smile 'now is not the time to be delulu Honey' she dislikes your message before responding.

'wrong it's always time to be delulu. it's called manifestation and it works😌' you smile fully this time and allow yourself to feel better.

'yea but what about Anakin's what’s he gonna think?' you argue, it was the only real thing that plagued your mind about this.

'we can't assume what he's going to think, you'll just have to wait and see babes' she's right of course but boy do you hate it. 'you could always bring it up yourself and talk about it with him tomorrow, if you're that concerned he'll think it's you who started the rumor. clear your name and all that'

you scrunch your face together at that suggestion. you hated confrontation, she knew it too, but you also knew this was the best plan you had so it was time to Women up and do just that.

╚═*.·:·.✧ ✦✧.·:·.*═╝

you tried your best to act normal during breakfast, especially when Anakin pulled a repeat of what he did yesterday. resting his head on your shoulder and effectively passing out. the entire time all you could think about was how this was probably fueling the kids' imaginations right now.

you could hardly even focus on eating which Ben and Rex both seemed to pick up on as they shared a concerned look. "are you alright y/n?" Rex was the first to ask.

"i'm fine yeah" you don't sound convincing but he takes it as a sign not to push.

"if you ever wanna talk we're all ears, or if you feel more comfortable texting you're always welcome to message." Ben reminds you and you give him a grateful smile.

"Yeah no matter how late it is, and i'm sure Anakin would agree. besides he's up later than all of us anyway so if anyone's likeliest to answer it's him" Rex is quick to add, wanting to double down on what Ben said.

"thanks guys, i appreciate it" you relax a bit as the pit in your stomach starts to settle, morphing into exhaustion instead. you don't even realize you're doing it until you see Rex elbowing Ben, a silent way to say 'are you seeing what i'm seeing' and Ben swats his arm away in a wordless way of saying 'of course i am'.

you had rested your head right on top of Anakin's, you fought the urge to pull away in fear it'd look suspicious. suspicious of what you weren't sure but it's what your brain said- or maybe it was your way of justifying staying in the position you were in.

his hair was soft and smelt of sandalwood and coconut, it was kind of calming. you wondered briefly if Anakin thought similarly of you when he rested his head on your shoulder, but quickly pushed the thought away when you realized he probably didn't pay attention to something like that with you.

you do eventually lift your head up only when it's time to get up and leave the lodge hall and start the day. today was at the very least going to be a little easier as you all would just be walking straight to the crafts center.

with a few shakes of your shoulder, Anakin wakes up. sitting up straight and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. completely oblivious to your previous actions which you were internally grateful for, mostly out of fear he'd think it was weird.

the walk to the crafts center was quiet between the three of you, a peaceful silence. you and Anakin walked side by side, Rex in front of you two a few feet ahead.

"do you know which project you wanna do for today with the kids?" Anakin asks through a yawn.

"yea i think we're going to do the paper bag kites, Padme said it's gonna be windy today so they could use them during free time later" he nods before getting lost in his own thoughts.

maybe you should bring it up now, this was probably as close to alone time as you'd get with him. you turn your head to examine him; he still looks slightly sleepy, there's a bit of a slouch to him with the way he's walking right now making you promptly decide against talking to him about it. who were you to ruin his sleepy mood after all?

the three of you walk inside the Crafts center and start setting up all the supplies on each table for the kids. it's not long before they all start filing in, and as usual you lead; today was a much easier craft than yesterday's honestly. most of it consisted of just decorating the paper bag to their liking, then either Anakin, Rex, or you would attach a long string to it for them.

the kids liked this way better as they had much more creative freedom, you took a mental note of that so you guys could plan accordingly.

you're helping one of the little boys, Darnell, cut out a bat shape to glue on his bag when you hear a few kids talking about you and Anakin again. it makes your heart stop, you have to force yourself to focus and finish quickly before you start to panic too much.

"hey y/n is there any more purple glitter" one of the girls at the table, Sasha, asks and you blink away your thoughts to process her question.

"um, i'm not sure i'll check for you" you hand Darnell his bat cut-out and head to the back where the supply closet is, biting the inside of your cheek nervously and silently praying to whatever god will listen that Anakin doesn't hear any of the kids saying you two are dating until you can address it with him.

your digging around the closet when another person joins you. you turn to look behind you meeting eyes with Anakin who smiles at you.

"what are you looking for?" he asks while grabbing some extra glue sticks, it's honestly insane how fast kids go through those things.

"purple glitter, do you know where it would be?" he points to the top shelf above you, and sure enough there's a line of different glitters. in rainbow order too so you could only guess you had Rex to thank for that.

you grumble disgruntledly to yourself while standing on your tiptoes to try and reach it. "you know you can ask for help right" Anakin huffs from behind you.

"why, i've got this" you can feel the amused stare from behind you as you prove to him you very much don't have this. you're about to step on the bottom shelf for a bit of a boost before you stop completely at the feeling of Anakin's chest against your back.

he reaches over and grabs the glitter easily and holds it low enough for you to grab. your brain buffers for a moment before you actually do grab it and by the time you turn around he's already heading back out of the closet, glue sticks in hand.

you head over to Sasha, taking her small tube of empty purple glitter and refilling it. your mind is still reeling from what just happened, this man was going to send you into cardiac arrest at this rate. you force yourself to take some deep breaths and calm down after handing her the little glitter tube and walking to put the rest back in the closet.

was it too far to be thinking about how much you enjoyed the slight pressure and weight of his chest against the back of you? well it's not like anyone can hear your thoughts so you allow yourself to indulge just this once.

╚═*.·:·.✧ ✦✧.·:·.*═╝

the next few periods go back quickly and simultaneously slow as molasses. without a doubt you overheard kids talk about you and Anakin as if you were a happy couple multiple times each period. the final push for you was when Anakin was walking by the same table you were during clean-up before lunch and heard kids talking about it.

he didn't say anything but there was no way he didn't hear it so you decided to confront the situation on the way to lunch. you let Rex lead the line of kids out this time and walked at the back with Anakin, it was time to stop procrastinating and get this over with.

"are you alright?" Anakin asks and you tilt your head slightly. "you've been acting weird all day" he crosses his arms unwilling to back off even if you try to deny it.

you press your lips together into a thin line before speaking up "i… it's just the kids have been- have you heard what they've been saying?" you mentally slap yourself, of course he heard, and even if he didn't you need to just spit it out.

he just shrugs nonchalantly, which gives you nothing. was that an 'i don't know i haven't been paying attention' shrug, or an 'i have heard but don't care' shrug?

"they're all saying we're dating, and each time i deny it they only seem to think we're dating even more." you finally spit it out and feel a huge weight on your shoulders lift off.

"oh, that's it?" you come to a full stop and so does he, why is he being so nonchalant about this what the hell? your brows crease together.

"that's not weird to you, or annoying?" you ask and he licks his lips in thought.

"i mean some of the kids at my cabin brought it up yesterday, i denied it and they didn't believe me so i sorta just accepted the fact they wouldn't believe me." he explains and now you feel dumb, all that overthinking for what.

"shouldn't we address this with them?" this time his face scrunches up in confusion.

"why? they're clearly not gonna believe us, honestly we're better off just saying we are then maybe they'll let it go" you blink dumbly up at him, the last part of his sentence on repeat in your head.

does he not realize they wouldn't be letting it go at all, sure they would move on but in their little ten to fourteen-year-old brains it would be a confirmed fact. not like to them it wasn’t already though… maybe he did have a point. or more accurately you just liked the idea of confirming to everyone you were dating.

"do you really think that would work?" his eyes twinkle with something you're not quite sure of before he answers.

"i mean it's worth a shot right? let's just pretend we're dating and then they'll leave us alone" okay woah wait a minute, how'd this go from just saying you were dating to pretending you were dating? to be fair it's synonymous right? but when he says pretending, does he mean just a simple 'yea we are' or fully method acting the situation?

you decide to just take the chance, what harm could come out of this right? if it was just confirming then you could live with that, and if it was more than that at least you could satisfy your little crush on him. yea he likes Padme but she was very clear on the not liking him back department.

"okay yea, let's do it" he holds his hand out to shake on it. "looks like you just got yourself a fake girlfriend" you joke, shaking his hand. "Honey is going to have a field day with this" you laugh once your hand slips out of his and you see him look at you with both shock and confusion.

your brows crease worried that you said something wrong. "Honey is someone's name?" he asks bewildered. oh, that's right you haven't brought Honey up in conversation with Anakin before.

"yeah she's my best friend and that’s her name, why?" you watch him go through a shit ton of emotions all at once before he settles on a relieved smile.

"nothing, don't worry about it. let's go to lunch" he turns and walks ahead of you, you don't let him get too far before you pick up the pace so you're once again walking side by side.

a/n: here she is the much anticipated Part 2 ☺️ i hope you enjoy!!

i only proofread this once instead of the dozen times i usually do so if you spot a mistake please pay no mind 💀👩‍🦯

see you all next week for the final part 💋💋

Tag list: @anakinskwkler @anakinstwinklebunny @divineani @huayan @poppysrin @bxbyysstuff @dollhobigem @skywalkercinema @corio-letit-snow @avatarobsessedgirly @kelsxxyawn @tartine-de-pain

[gothamcitycentral]

OH Oh oh, I would love to hear a Charlie canon vs fanon rant if you're up for sharing?

Ok ok mainly I was thinking of someone recently saying “Charlie represents a shallow christian view of redemption in which you just try really hard and don’t do drugs! you’ll be a good person that easy!” (paraphrased) and well. No. Definitely not.

What Charlie represents is the emotional idea of redemption.

Charlie’s chosen existence is based fully upon the idea that there is no category of “bad person” that excludes someone from being human. As such, everyone is capable of redemption because ‘there’s good in everyone deep down inside, she knows there is.’ People like to think this as naivety (which is. a whole other thing) but this is the stance the show takes every seriously. So many, and I mean so many, are under this impression that Charlie is at some point going to be proven wrong about redemption. That not everyone can actually be redeemed. But she just won’t be because the point is always that Charlie is right. With Angel, with Pentious, against Lucifer, against Adam and against Sera, she’s proven right.

“You build something nice, you invite people in and offer them everything and they just bring VIOLENCE and CHAOS to your doorstep. It doesn’t matter how well intentioned you are, they’ll always disappoint you.”

…He says, as the hotel crew work together to keep each other safe and out of harm’s way even at their own risk.

In any case, Charlie’s view of redemption is that of loving-

-and being loved.

This is what the series shows. Every fully realized character loves, and is loved by, someone.

No exceptions.

It’s a deliberate point of humanization because the show argues everyone has humanity. Which is what Charlie argues! The show is always in alignment with her values. As such, it doesn’t make sense to argue any of this is something she is meant to grow out of.

Now, where the above statement is drawn from is that she doesn’t have the practical understanding of redemption. Hence the parody of America’s famously ineffectual D.A.R.E program. This done because Charlie is very much throwing shit at the wall (done through looking at common behavior in hell and having her patrons do the opposite to appeal to Heaven) in very desperate hope something will work and Heaven will recognize her people… as people. Importantly, the significant thing of Angel Dust and Sir Pentious being the actors in this scene is that through understanding them Charlie learns a practical idea of redemption. That being as (and what the show properly conceptualizes redemption as) the correction of behavior that harms oneself or those around you. Which is why we go from:

To:

“Heavenly people, the porn star chose a night of debauchery, that’s not a soul worthy of being in Heaven!”

“Are you really telling me you haven’t had a drink with friends at the end of a hard day?”

She’s not bending over backwards to make Angel as appealing as possible to Heaven, she’s making a stance that disagrees with their perception of ‘bad behavior’, reminding them to acknowledge his hardships and what influences his behavior, and making it clear that these specific actions aren’t having a negative effect on anyone, and therefore doesn’t contradict her statement that Angel has improved.

Then people see the part of Charlie’s arc which is learning to have a damn backbone (to put it bluntly) and go and argue that the end point for Charlie’s character is to “stop being nice.” Well, first of all, Charlie being nice is the only reason everyone isn’t dead, so jot that down, and second, while yes Charlie fights against Adam, the ultimate result of that conflict is:

“He’s had enough.”

Charlie is always going to choose mercy. She is always going to extend humanity. She is always going to offer the olive branch. People think Charlie is going to come to some grand revelation about having to be cruel and that just, isn’t the point. Because the big thing is that people believe Charlie is defined by her naivety (and that eventually that naivety must be destroyed) but she isn’t.

The only moment I can really think that suggests Charlie being such is her singing in the pilot during the newsbroadcast despite being warned otherwise. Besides that, I just don’t see it as a major point of characterization. Because we see Charlie acknowledge not everyone wants to change, but she doesn’t get to deny any the opportunity, deny them the hotel. Because they were entitled to the opportunity to change and improve by process of being alive. “How can I turn him away? I can’t. It goes against everything I stand for.”

In general I think there’s a failure of people who view Charlie as just… naturally happy go lucky at factory default and miss that Charlie’s kindness is a choice.

Charlie was born into a broken world with a decomposing kingdom to her name. Her optimism is a developed coping mechanism because it’s the only way she can believe everything can maybe work out. Because Charlie has been surrounded by this constant death she felt powerless to stop and everyone has just! accepted it! This constant misery that she unavoidably bares witness to, and it feels like she’s the only one who cares.

So she has to be kind. She has to believe things can tangibly improve. She has to put the entire world and then some onto her own shoulders and live with every action she takes having millions of lives dependent on it. Charlie doesn’t even think she’s any sort of properly equipped to do any of this, but she’s the only person who’s bothering to try.

As Charlie deeply internalizes what people say about her. Hell’s clown, a joke, a fool chasing an impossible dream, destined to fail. Whenever anything goes wrong, Charlie directs that entirely at her own self. Adam is going to slaughter the hotel? What a horrible person she was to give the them false hope. Heaven decided to personally purge Charlie and her family because they dared to believe in their own personhood? Well she should have done a better job at convincing them otherwise.

Charlie doesn’t like herself.

So she masks it.

Sometimes the mask, the optimism, breaks.

I think Charlie’s optimism is as to Alastor’s cruelty, that’s why this scene compares them the way it does. Those aspects of them, they’re not fake exactly, but they are conjured to shield their fears. Charlie is afraid of failing everyone and Alastor is afraid of… being afraid in the first place frankly.

Because again, Charlie views everyone as her responsibility. She needs no reasoning beyond Hell being her people for her to dedicate her entire being to them. People seem to not acknowledge how closely she and Vaggie manifest their feelings of self loathing, even if they pretty much do it on opposite ends of the spectrum. Vaggie is a living extension to Charlie, Charlie is a living extension of Hell. The knight and the princess, both sworn to their own duties even at their own suffering. And the princess would burn herself to ash to warm her kingdom. Charlie is the self chosen sacrificial lamb.

[gffa]

Usually, I like to finish reading a fic before recommending it properly, but I've been sucked into about five different STAR WARS fics recently that I've gotten far enough into that I'm willing to trust my heart to them because they're scratching a very specific itch for me--namely, that I want deeper explorations of both the Jedi Order and of Anakin's character. I want fic to punch me in the feelings over both of these aspects of the story. I want fic to sometimes set Obi-Wan and Anakin aside and focus on Ahsoka for awhile, really tell her story. I want Jedi themes woven into a story. I want an exploration of Anakin's mindset that reminds me of just how much I love him and have sympathy for him. And fandom has delivered for me.

DO YOU WANT FIC TO BLACK OUT TO AND LOSE AN ENTIRE WEEKEND OVER? HAVE I GOT SOME RECS FOR YOU:

✦ Out with Lanterns by SkyeBean, ahsoka & mace & jedi & clones & cast, 312.5k     In another universe, Jedi Masters Plo Koon and Depa Billaba decide a Padawan could do Mace some good. It takes a while, but he eventually agrees. When he takes Ahsoka Tano as his Padawan, Mace knows that he's broken through a Shatterpoint and changed the course of a life. How, he doesn't know.     This fic accomplishes several things that have sent me over the moon: 1) At its heart, it's an Ahsoka fic that shows her growing up as a Padawan, going on missions, learning lessons, and having character growth. 2) It weaves in so many other characters around her, that Mace is there in almost every chapter, serious but warm in the Force, just as beautifully characterized as she is. 3) The other Jedi get their moments of excellents, Shaak taking Ahsoka on her Akul hunt was wonder to read, seeing Obi-Wan show up for a chapter had me over the moon, Adi taking care with Ahsoka was lovely, Depa was a shining star when she took Ahsoka under her wing, Fox growing used to these strange Jedi and growing into himself through Ahsoka's eyes was wonderful. 4) The writing is that kind of solid that I don't mean as mid-tier, but the kind that I feel like can bear weight on it, I can pick it up and read for 30k and barely realize any time has passed, despite that I've gotten through an entire arc of the fic. 5) It does an incredible job of balancing that feel of The Clone Wars show, without directly copying anything, that it's like these are arcs that I could have seen on the show itself, the lessons woven in, but still with enough plot moving forward and action to make it exciting. If you want more Jedi-centric fic in your life (where they don't have to be perfect! sometimes they can be less than perfect and it's okay because they're still good! ohhhh, my heart warmed at that) or you want to read a lovely Ahsoka-centric fic in a different life, but still so recognizably herself, then this is one I want to shove right in your face immediately.

✦ Take it from the top and try again by mauvera, obi-wan & anakin & qui-gon & padme & mace & dooku & cast, time travel, 116.k wip     Five years into his self imposed exile on Tattooine, Obi-Wan Kenobi is gifted the chance to go back and bring hope back to the galaxy. With hindsight on his side, he fully intends to save his master, save his padawan, make some new and old friends again, prepare the Jedi for a war they’ll hopefully never see and begin to pull apart all the many tangled threads of the Sith Lord’s plans. Should be relatively easy. Right?     I got sucked into the first fic in this series (which is complete, if you want to read it--it's not the end of the story, but it's a good stopping point and feels like it should have some solid resolution if you don't want to get into a wip) and read the first fic over the course of about three days because I was sucked in so thoroughly. I can never get enough of Obi-Wan time traveling back to the past, where he loves the Jedi and they love him, and I love this one because he has to make genuine plans for changing things--things change and I have no idea how that's going to affect Palpatine's machinations! Exciting! But it's also a lovely look at Obi-Wan's dynamics with multiple characters--I found the Obi-Wan & Padme scenes a hightlight personally, their friendship really blossomed as they both flung themselves into trying to better the galaxy, even if she doesn't know he's from the future, that he's working so hard matched a lot of her energy and I really enjoyed that--from Qui-Gon to Mace to Padme to Anakin and, as the sequel progresses, Dooku as well. It's another Jedi-positive fic, it has me invested in the plot, it's a joy to see competent!Obi-Wan, and I would love to shove it at more people.

✦ Post Order 66 Exile AU by Livsy, obi-wan & anakin, 46k (wip-esque)     After a failed order 66, in which many Jedi still died but the Sith were defeated, an exiled warrior and a boy wander a distant planet and attempt to get along.     This is probably the shortest fic on this list but I'm including it because it genuinely felt longer than that, for how dense the emotional intensity of it is. It's an AU where the Jedi barely eked out a victory, still on the edge of extinction in many ways, and Anakin deep in the pits of the dark side, so Obi-Wan takes him to a backwater planet in exile for the both of them, traveling through the countryside and just trying to make it from day to day. What punched me right in the feelings place is that this fic doesn't shy away from the hurt and the anger on both sides, that both of them are allowed to be unreliable narrators that have their own points of view on what's transpired and what lays between them. It doesn't back away from the hurt they both feel, the despair they both feel, yet there's hope here. It's ultimately a story about clawing yourself back from the dark side, and it's beautifully characterized for both of them, that unkind things are said on both of their parts, but you understand why the characters are in the place they are. It's wrapped up in a lushly written backdrop, with some lovely Japanese feudal era details woven in, but also with a Star Wars patina spread across all of it. It's not necessarily a kind fic, but if you like fic that bites down on a wound, I enjoyed this series a lot and would love to see it continued--but, honestly, what's here is already enough resolution that, looking back on it after the initial "Noooooo, I need more!" feeling has faded, I'm actually very satisfied with. ✦ Men of Power by AlabasterInk, obi-wan & anakin & mace & yoda & jedi & palpatine & cast, 86.1k wip     When an old powerful man suddenly comes in and sweeps your underage Padawan away without so much as a by your leave, that’s the time to start asking questions.     I'm only about 20k into this fic, so I can't say what shape it will take later on or how much pairings might come into it, but I still had to come running over to shove this fic at people, because it's scratching the itch I have for Jedi-positive fic that explores the idea of Anakin's trauma from his childhood as a slave, that this is a child who is wound so tight and comes from such a horrible thing having been done to him, having been owned as a person, that I understand why he stays silent on some of the things I desperately wish he could talk about or he doesn't really believe some of the things the Jedi tell him. It's a fic that takes a lot more care with Anakin's character than I think canon ever intended, weaving in a lot of the heartbreaking stuff from Legends' supplementing the canon, and is creating something that punches me right in the feelings place for him, that he's such a bright, brilliant boy, but I see why he struggled and it's not about assigning blame in any direction. It's about deeply caring people who fate has take a few steps to the left and something shifts just a little--and I appreciate that there's something very delicate feeling here, that the Jedi just don't have any real reason to be suspicious of Palpatine, his actions make sense, they genuinely can't feel any ill intention from him in the Force, they discuss why it would make sense that he'd want to support Anakin, all while we the readers can see, in hindsight, where the shadows have been creeping in. If you want Jedi-positive fic that also leaves some teeth marks over Anakin's trauma being explored in a way that is entirely sympathetic to him, then I want to shove this fic at you, too.

[thesimpirediaries]

According To Plan [kiribaku x fem!reader]

Ever had a moment as a writer where you think up a super niche fic idea that only you can write and even though you’re unsure (and kind of scared) of how to properly help it unfold, it won’t leave your brain? Yeah, me too.

SUMMARY: Kirishima Eijirou was hopelessly in love with his best friend, Bakugou Katsuki — had been since their second year in U.A. Of course, his friend had no way of knowing this; so when Bakugou becomes swept up in a whirlwind of intense emotions for the transfer student (Y/N) — with pretty much no idea how to pursue her — Kirishima wrestles that green beast of jealousy as deep into its cage as he can, puts on a brave face, and formulates a plan: “Help Bakugou Get The Girl Of His Dreams.” But, there was a good reason Kirishima didn’t often formulate plans on his own — because he wasn’t all that strong at considering all the outcomes, and now, his best friend/secret love hates his guts while (Y/N) has fallen head over heels for him, and Kirishima is slowly realizing that it is entirely possible to love two people at once. Yeah, this was shaping out to be a hell of a final year.

TAGS: fem!reader/AFAB!reader, she/her pronouns used, love triangles, slow burn, angst, eventual polyamory, end-game kiribaku/reader, language, eventual sexual content (this list is for the series as a whole; each individual chapter will have its own detailed warnings listed within the description.)

NOTE: this post is merely a masterlist; it’s not an actual installment. The chapters will be linked within this post for easy navigation.

CHAPTER 1: “Not every good deed…” [in the works]

CHAPTER 2: “Burnt caramel.” [in the works]

[MORE CHAPTERS WILL BE ADDED; ONGOING SERIES]

[hauntingofhouses]

arcane s2 spoilers. another caitlyn critical rant because i have Thoughts and i'm Annoyed

can i just say i'm soooo annoyed at how the narrative treats ambessa as the worst most irredeemable person and the one true villain of the series while caitlyn who spent half of s2 as a tyrant in both piltover and zaun is just let off the hook despite them working together for most of that time.

"she didnt MEAN it" but she did do it. she terrorized the people of zaun, she was complicit. yes ambessa was using her but that's because she was so easy to use! ambessa barely had to do much manipulation, barely had to lift a finger for caitlyn to give the green light on all the tactics the militant regime used.

now, see, it's not like i'm AGAINST caitlyn redeeming herself. i'm not. i was ready for her to go down a dark path and for vi to pull her out of it. my gripe is with how it was executed. caitlyn did not deserve it, she didn't DO anything to actually work towards redemption and getting vi's forgiveness.

also caitlyn fans being so ready to just push all the blame onto ambessa is so frustrating because you know what. ambessa is an interesting character. and caitlyn's relationship with ambessa was also super interesting because it paralleled the mother-daughter relationships of caitlyn & counselor kiramman, and mel & ambessa. ambessa elevated caitlyn's character from something akin to stale bread dressed in a girlboss copaganda fit, to something actually intriguing to watch.

but of course all that is thrown away because the show apparently didn't have time to do a full caitlyn redemption arc, which would've further developed the character, while simultaneously unpacking the damage she did to zaun and to vi&jinx's relationship. but nope we didn't get that! instead she betrays ambessa off-screen for the sake of a stupid plot twist and because "she was loyal to vi all along!!!! that's the power of love!!!!" and like i love a good sappy wholesome "power of love" moment, but this wasn't it, man. this came out of nowhere and it just felt so jarring, automatically undoing all of caitlyn's development thus far (a negative arc is still character development). and not only does it somehow just undo all the damage she's done, but also just... brushes past it??? like that girl was wearing a whole ass villain cape and everything and we're just... gonna brush past that? okay.

and look. the thing is, i wouldn't be AS salty about this if the ENDING, at least, was different. like maybe if sevika got a word in during any part of act 3. or if the people of zaun were given more agency in rising up against her regime. OR MAYBE if jinx didn't have to DIE in order for CAITLYN to get her happy ending with vi. and yes, maybe jinx didn't actually die and she did manage to survive, but the people who love and care about her (sevika and ekko) are still left behind, unhappy, while she (presumably) left aboard the airship to who-knows-where. and as a side note i would also like to add that ekko is the fucking boy saviour, the MVP of the entire show who saved EVERYONE from viktor, yet he didn't get a happy ending but was left sitting there all alone, not even with his band of firelights! like come on!

but getting back on subject. the story didn't even show vi properly mourning or acknowledging the loss of her sister in the epilogue. instead more focus is given to caitlyn. no mention of jinx in that last caitvi scene. instead it focuses on caitvi's relationship ("are you still in this fight, violet? / "i'm the dirt under your nails, cupcake. nothing is gonna clean me out." even the episode title is taken from that line). season 2 featured caitlyn as a more major protagonist than vi, with the opening episode and even the closing scenes centering on her. and that, ultimately, is where so much of my frustration towards her character is coming from. it feels like the story of two sisters, vi & jinx, was superceded by caitlyn, and what was initially assumed to be paranoia-induced jealousy from jinx towards caitlyn in season 1 suddenly makes sense. caitlyn entered the picture and immediately jinx is forced out of it, in so many ways.

[cieloclercs]

what would you say (if i told you i love you)? — charles leclerc

PART: 5/? (read part 4 here)

summary. in which childhood best friends blur the lines between what they’ve always known, and something more

pairing. charles leclerc x artsy!reader

warnings. it’s GROVELLING time !! sad charles, sad reader, swearing, everyone still kind of hates charles (as they should) angst but not quite as angsty as the last part

face claim. tara michelle

author’s note. i hope this is enough suffering for you guys 😭 i’m weak tho so there’s a tinyyy bit of progress at the end 👀 i feel like this one’s a bit messy so i’m sorry about that?? it’s also kind of just setting up the next part but oh well 😭 anyways, LAST PART COMING UP NEXT ☹️ i’m gonna miss this series :’(

NOW PLAYING | Singapore 2023 post-FP1 interview: Charles Leclerc

COMMENTS 32k

username i’m still charles’ number 1 hater rn but he looked so sad at the end… ☹️

username girl no we need to be strong! don’t fall for the sad puppy dog eyes (i know he’s cute but srsly don’t) 🫠

username you’re right, you’re right 😔 haters until the end 🫡

username sir don’t try and blame your shitty mistakes on y/n 😭😭

username HE LOOKS SO SAD I CANT 🥲

username i really hope y/n sees this and realises he’s actually sorry

username no way that’s too easy. charles needs to apologise properly !!

username oh my GOD the way he started smiling when he said y/n is his ‘lucky charm’ AND THEN THE WAY IT DROPPED WHEN HE REMEMBERED THEY’RE NOT FRIENDS ANYMORE IM GONNA SCREAM 😭😭😭💔💔💔

username charles do you see what you’re doing to us charlesy/n stans?? PLEASE JUST TELL HER HOW YOU FEEL FFS 😫

username i swear if these two don’t pull their heads out of their asses soon I WILL COMMIT MURDER

username so real bestie 😔

username it’s such an invasion of privacy to ask about this though 😭

username fr the press don’t know when to keep out of it 😒

username i think he knows he’s in love with her now, he’s just not sure how to fix things ☹️

username i’m scared this feels like right person wrong time you know? 😃

username don’t say that 🫣 i’m just praying y/n forgives him. as soon as he apologises properly ofc, can’t make it too easy for him mwahahah

username i want to keep hating him but i’ve never seen him look that sad 🥲

username CHARLES YOU DONT GET TO ACT LIKE THE VICTIM WHEN YOU’RE THE ONE THAT’S CAUSED THIS

username so true. he needs to stop feeling sorry for himself and apologise 🙄

liked by yourfriend and 47,837 others

yourusername always on my mind ☁️💫

view all comments…

username SHE’S BACK IN MONACO GUYS EVERYBODY STAY CALM

username MOTHER HAS RETURNED !!!

username wait is that f1 she’s watching on her phone? 🤨

username omg it is 🤭

username SHE WATCHED THE RACE OMFG

username charles podium as well 😩😩

username it’s like he knew she was watching 🥹

username i hate how quickly everyone’s switching up on the charles situation just because of that interview but at the same time i can’t deal with my parents fighting anymore i need them to make up 😫

leclerc_pascale Bienvenue à la maison, ma fille ❤️ / welcome home, my girl

yourusername 🥰

arthur_leclerc YOU’RE BACK

yourusername did you forget? i literally saw you twenty minutes ago 😭

username the caption 🤔

username we can all agree she’s talking about charles, right?

yourfriend ma femme 🤩 / my wife

yourusername mon amour 😘

username she is everything.

username forget her art SHE IS THE ART RIGHT THERE

charles_leclerc belle / beautiful

username EXCUSE ME??

username SIR WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE PHAHAHA

username charles get tf out of here 😭

username i love how y/n’s just straight up ignoring him 😭

username CHARLES IS HERE GUYS HOW ARE WE FEELING

username i’m so conflicted rn

username like i want them to make up but at the same time he needs to SUFFER like he made y/n suffer

username fr, make him squirm a little 😌

username idk guys, if charles leclerc commented ‘belle’ on MY instagram, i’d be on my knees in an instant 🫣

username girl please 😭

username charles babe please go away you’re ruining the vibes x

username i swear to god if he’s here just to fuck with y/n’s head again i’ll fucking kill him

username he wouldn’t do that

username @charles_leclerc if you want to win her back this is NOT the way to do it

arthur_leclerc @charles_leclerc what did i tell you? 👀

username HAHAHA ARTHUR STOP

joris_trouche @charles_leclerc you should listen to our advice mate 😃

yourfriend @arthur_leclerc @joris_trouche shut up both of you 😒

joris_trouche yes ma’am 🫡

username they’re all ganging up on him 😭

liked by formula1updates and 9,736 others

f1gossip Charles Leclerc and Y/N Y/L/N spotted at the same night club in Monaco 👀

view all comments…

username OH MY GOD IS IT HAPPENING??

username there’s no way this is coincidence charles is boutta beg for forgiveness i’m calling it

username y/n’s actually smiling tho 😭 charles please don’t ruin it x

username we need y/f/n to scare him off before he can ruin her night 🤞

username AHAHAHA YES

username what i’d give to be in that club rn 😔

username fr y/n better be roasting him 😭

➜ part 6

taglist: @cxcewg @incoherenciass @formula1mount @allywthsr @meabhcavanagh @driveswiftly13 @zzblooda @gaslysainz @be-your-coffee-pot @siovhanroy

[l-in-the-light]

The most embarrassing series of posts about Lawlu you will ever read: edition Dressrosa (part 5)

Are we ready for the feels? Because my "Love is a Hurricane tale" of Lawlu analysis continues on into Dressrosa, the land of love and passion! In this episode we will focus on Luffy and Law seperately. This post will be much more serious as well. Lots and lots of scrutinizing analysis ahead!

Let's point out two things here: apparently it was Sanji who was the rebel and left as the first one, attracted to amazing smells. Luffy on the other hand, actually tried to get closer to Law and listen properly.

And, one group of people is now enteirely missing. For once, it wasn't Luffy's fault, he wasn't even the first one to venture out and that tells us a lot already. Law, despite rather displeased with that outcome, decides not to do anything about it. Perhaps one of the remaining Strawhats told him not to worry about it... but would they say it? We're left with Nami, Usopp, Brook, Chopper, Robin and Momo. They're kinda a bunch of people easily scared and paranoid. Robin is the only exception, but she would rather just chuckle at all the chaos that's happening rather than reassure anyone.

I think the more likely option is Law trying to play it cool so that the rest won't worry too much. Whether he's personally worried or not wouldn't have mattered, he already feels like taking care of these people is his responsibility and he needs to be strong for them. He probably did worry himself a bit here. Let's switch to Luffy from now on:

As fast as Luffy realized (thanks to Sanji) that things aren't going as predicted, he tries to find a fast fix for it himself. I mean, he had a pretty good idea about it, sadly he was stopped with his attempt. This will start a streak of Luffy's attempts to actually stick to the plan, as disbelieving as that sounds right now. After all, he didn't listen to the end about the plan, obviously Luffy doesn't care??

If he doesn't care, why is his initial reaction towards Zoro slightly angry here? Oh, maybe because Law assigned them into one group and Luffy realizes *they have to stick together*. That's exactly why he left after Sanji (who shouldn't actually be in their group, but nevermind), it wasn't just for adventure (ofc that was important as well), it was to stay with their group. Ofc right after Luffy quickly snaps into his usual happy go lucky attitude, thinking it would be fun to chase Zoro, but let's keep in mind that's his second reaction, not the first one, and that's already giving us a hint what will be Luffy's priority from now on.

Luffy is unusually interested in finding the smiles factory. Concerned even. Perhaps he was keeping in mind Law's warning that finding the factory won't be easy and is reminded now of that.

Putting aside Luffy's clear PTSD reaction here (proving us he's still not over Ace's death, because why would he be), despite the fact he declares he wants flame-flame fruit, he doesn't immediately jump to the decision of doing everything he can to get it. It's actually only after Franky's encouragement that he makes his final decision! Very unusual for Luffy to hold back on something that important for him and needing encouragement. It's Luffy who encourages people usually, he just goes and reaches his hands to grab what he wants without fretting over it. I wonder why is he hesitating so much?

Ofc Luffy's enthusiasm to stay undercover is lovely, but he still almost fails with it right afterwards, because, well, he's Luffy. And why does he need to stay undercover? Oh right, so someone's plan in Dressrosa wouldn't be affected!

Meanwhile we have Law who tries to play it calm and cool for the group, but he's actually growing anxious. There are already two signs that the plan is going to have more problems than expected, since people in Dressrosa act normal despite their king abdicating, and then CP0 arrives. He won't voice his doubts explicitly though, he knows he needs to keep morale of the group up. But when they make it to the bridge, he already decided not to use his devil fruit to save up strength, he knows there will be problems up ahead thanks to all those signs.

It's kinda heartwarming but also a bit sad to see Luffy holding back so much. At all times he tries his best not to blow his cover. But Luffy is really terrible at lying, so he's fretting around a lot, clearly stressed from all the unfavourable developments. He even tries to stop himself from cheering on for Bellamy, something he would usually do without a second thought. Officially he claims he's doing it for Franky, but we all know why Franky told Luffy to be undercover: it was all for Law's plan to succeed, and attracting attention would be bad for it. It's not very direct, but all of Luffy's efforts are actually for Law and his plan.

Law remembered his own nature: giving out orders expecting others to live up to them. He's indeed just like Luffy here haha. Though we can excuse him a little, the situation was bad after all. Luffy meanwhile does it all the time.

Top images: Again, poor distressed Luffy is afraid his identity will be revealed and he will be the one responsible for blowing up Law's plan. He really doesn't want to disappoint him. Compare this to when he inflitrates the castle with Viola later on (bottom images), he doesn't even hesitate to take off his disguise even though his cover wasn't even blown yet. Only after Luffy removes his koi fish costume, the guy realized it was Strawhat Luffy. But Luffy doesn't care anymore for being undercover.

The contrast is shocking with the previous image. It just proves how much he was struggling and bracing himself to stay in that disguise in the collosseum, it must have been hard for him. But Luffy would try his best and beyond for Law. He just would do the same for Ace, that's why he couldn't ignore flame-flame fruit bait.

Luffy got fed by Rebecca, so he feels like he owes her. He listens to her story, about the country, about the toy soldier, he clearly wants to help her, but he stays silent. Again, unusual reaction for Luffy, normally he would be already enthusiasthically shouting that he will get rid of Doflamingo for Rebecca. But, beating up Doffy wasn't part of Law's plan, so Luffy just sits quietly, torn internally.

Let's compare it to, let's say, Drum Island Arc. Luffy doesn't hesitate at all. That's the Luffy we know.

Luffy is still listening to Rebecca. Gets reminded of Goa Kingdom. He still doesn't declare he will kick Doffy's ass. His resolve to not disappoint Law is really strong, if he's able to stop himself like that.

Law puts up a tough front, but I think he's kinda bluffing here, just throwing Doflamingo's words back at him. Internally, he must be worrying and hoping he won't mess things up himself, that he's able to withhold Doflamingo long enough.

It's not even a matter of whether he believes in what he says himself, but the dedication: he will do anything in his might. Is it for the plan, that backfired on him already? Or did his reason shift, yet again, to what it was in Punk Hazard and that means keeping Luffy relatively safe? He didn't put Luffy in his own group, the one that was at most risk, he didn't leave him up on Sunny (he probably would have wanted to, but not even Law can control Luffy's deep craving for adventure). Law is now just buying time so Luffy's group can destroy the factory; that's his chosen way of keeping them out of trouble and instead taking it all up on himself.

Another bluff from Law. We know he doesn't know what that D. even stands for, so there's no way he could have that much faith in it. After all Law is having trouble believing in things after Flevance. He says this line just because he knows it will rile up Doflamingo, and also because of his trust in Corazon. Cora-san lied a lot though so there's no way Law would take that line at face value and not doubt it at all.

Riling up Doflamingo is a sign that Law allowed him to play on his emotions. Provoking him here will end up in a disastrous result for Law. But let's rewind a moment earlier, Doffy is on a call with his subordinate, telling them to make the factory's security stronger. Ofc Law would lose his calm over that. Because who's in the group destroying the factory? Luffy. Law took it as his personal duty to keep him safe.

Back to Luffy's side now. Wait a moment. Luffy tells his crew to stop the rebellion in the oppressed country?? Despite having been fed by Rebecca and owing her a favour? Did someone just exchange Luffy with an alien here?? That's not the Luffy we know!

Though to be fair, even if it's a bit of a backwards logic, he does think it will help Rebecca as well, because she doesn't want the toy soldier to be in danger. But look at Zoro's reaction here. He's clearly taken aback. Our Zoro, the very first crewmate of Luffy, who was with him practically from the very start. And that Zoro is surprised by Luffy's reaction. He expected him to fully support the rebellion. If that's not the final argument to how strange Luffy is behaving, then I doubt anything can convince you.

His crewmates are getting involved with the rebellion, but Luffy is still quiet and refusing to go against Law's plan. Franky finally loses it and says he will do it, even if it means he will have to do it alone.

And that's finally the moment Luffy breaks his resolve. He's not gonna leave a crewmate alone. He's gonna help with that plan as well, just to fullfill Rebecca's wish, already planning to leave the collosseum before the final fights. It took Luffy only like 30 chapters to finally decide to do what he truly wants to do. For Luffy liberating countries and making people free is very important. He knows already that the peace is Dressrosa is only a facade and he hates when peace is just a facade, it's not a true peace to him. He would go fly some punches the moment he realizes that. The only reason he didn't was Law.

But let's keep in mind, it doesn't paint Law as a bad guy here. His original plan did involve dethroning Doflamingo, just indirectly, not through punching him in the face. Luffy believes Law to be the good guy who also wants to help this country, so he believes in Law's plan. But Luffy will never leave his crewmate in need and that's the only reason Luffy decided to go against Law's plan in the end. We don't know how it would end, would Luffy still try to stop the rebellion after he joined with them? We will sadly never know.

Before they even know what's going on, Luffy's face is already very worried. He clearly has a bad feeling. Perhaps it's an early sign of his future sight talent that will evolve only much, much later. In this case it activated not because Luffy himself was in danger, but because he had a bad feeling someone dear to him is.

What an interesting reaction from Luffy after he realized Doflamingo got Torao. "Torao, why are you fighting with Mingo?!" why would Luffy care about it in a moment like this? Oh, perhaps because he was still believing in Law's plan and facing Doffy was never part of it. That's your final proof that Luffy took this whole operation seriously, he constantly was thinking about Law and his plan, and trying not to disappoint him, so of course he's shocked beyond all logic that Traffy himself went against it. He didn't have much choice, at least that's what Law believes. He would never take an alternative: backing out, because then full attention of Doflamingo would focus on Luffy's group.

And here we go, Luffy's reaction to Law passing out from the lead bullets. Flashback to Ace and Marineford definitely played itself inside Luffy's head at this moment.

How dare you, Mingo, indeed.

Screaming after him, trying to leave and forgetting seastone bars make it impossible for him, very distressed but calmed himself down because he can feel Law's soul didn't yet leave his body. That's probably the first reference to Luffy's skill of being able to tell when someone is just passed out and when they're dead or close to dying (it's the last option in this case btw).

Despite all the chaos and worry, Luffy is still focused enough to realize that the plan did go astray and is so very taken aback. He might even wonder if it's somehow his own fault here, after all he did go to the collosseum, if he didn't then maybe the situation wouldn't evolve the way it did. He probably thinks he could have destroyed that factory super fast if he just wasn't so obssessed with flame-flame fruit.

Nami seems to get it. First it was Zoro who understood how surprisingly important this thing is for Luffy, now Nami understood it as well. And Nami helps Luffy come up with the best option: how to not destroy Law's plan any further by making sure they have the winning hand, because at the end of the day, that's the most important thing, right? Law wanted to keep Momo, Caesar and Smiles away from Doflamingo, so even if anything else about the plan fails, they will make sure this part succeeds no matter what.

Nami does it for Luffy, not for Law, because she realized Luffy cares a lot. She's always there supporting his decisions and wishes, no matter how reckless they are, even if they scare her, just like she does when she's navigating: making sure her skills will bring them anywhere Luffy wants and needs to go. She does the same for him here, just on different level: navigating the plan.

For Luffy, respecting Law's wishes and goals is important. He doesn't want another Ace scenario in which Law sacrifices everything, his dreams, people important to him, his ambitions, just to keep Luffy safe. Those two truly understand each other on a very intimate level, it seems.

And so Luffy makes his decision. Keeping Law safe is more important than sticking to the original plan, but he will leave it up to his crewmates to gather the scattered pieces together so that Law's wishes are fullfilled. He entrusts that with them, meanwhile focusing on what he wants to do the most. And what's that again? Helping Rebecca? Destroying factory? Exposing the darkness of Dressrosa and beating Mingo? Oh no, wait. He says it here: to get Torao back.

Are you disgusted already? I am a bit lol <3

Luffy worrying for his crewmates. On the surface level, nothing unusual right? Because he cares for them, it's to be expected. Except Luffy never worries for them, instead he trusts them. In Punk Hazard when his crew barely made it to escape the gas he didn't worry openly like that, he trusted in his crewmates instead. Usopp even points it out that he wishes Luffy sometimes didn't have that much faith in them, because it can get overwhelming how he needs to meet up his expectations.

But here instead Luffy just worries about his crew. Must be because now, after seeing Law defeated by Mingo, he takes his words about how strong Mingo is even more seriously than before. He believes Law to be so strong after all. He doesn't even have to face Doffy himself to know what Law's defeat means. He's willing to take a bet based on someone else's experience, which is also rather unusual in Luffy's case - he normally always needs to test things out himself, doesn't believe other people's opinions or rumours. Again Law proves to be a rare exception.

I dunno how you all feel about this panel, but seems for Luffy, shit just got very personal. In the frame before (I won't put it here because it takes full page) we see three figures: Toy Soldier (symbolizing Franky's wish to help tontattas with the rebellion), Rebecca (Luffy's debt over the food) and Law. Those are the three reasons that push Luffy to make his decision. He wants to beat Mingo's ass for all of those reasons: because his crewmates want to, because he wants to help Rebecca and... because he wants to get payback in Law's stead. I mean, why else would Law be one of Luffy's reasons here? Beating up Mingo was still not part of Law's plan, so he's not doing it to respect Law's wishes in any way. No, if someone messes with Luffy's crewmate, then they mess up with Luffy, that's just how shit goes.

Wait, didn't you mean to write "friend"? Law isn't Luffy's crewmate! We will get to it in part 2 ;)

Now, after finding out about Sabo being still alive, Luffy can't stop crying or calm himself at all. Zoro's getting super annoyed with him, scolding him, hitting him and nothing works UNTIL he drops Torao's name. Suddenly Luffy gets his shit back together enough to actually say what? "I'll save Torao!" geezas so gross Even his face grows more determined. Reuninting with Sabo was important, but so is saving Torao. They're probably on same level in Luffy's mind and that alone is honestly insane to think about.

Damn, seeing how this post covered only 30 chapters, you can all expect there will be like 3 more parts just focused on Dressrosa alone.

Do let me know if you got convinced with my analysis or not :) or do you still think Luffy didn't care even for a moment about Law and his plan in Dressrosa?

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - I'm having a GREAT time

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

Aug 2024 Week 5

Ongoing Series - Thai

Monster Next Door (Thai Thurs Gaga ) eps 7-8 of 12 - I do love these 2 a lot. It’s such a slow burn sweet comforting quiet little romance. It’s not complicated, it’s not stretching my thoughts or imagination, but it is easy and absorbing. I'm entertained by it without being taxed. And sometimes that’s nice. It's what Thailand does best.

Addicted Heroin (Thai Tues WeTV) ep 3 of 10 - Oh I’m still enjoying it. It’s only episode three and they’re basically boyfriend’s palling around shopping together and hanging out on a bicycle. What’s not to love? Also he got to meet the in-laws. Well… eventual in-laws. Also the girlfriend character. I totally forgot about her. Good times.

Sunset X Vibes (Sat iQIYI) ep 12fin - Baby faints. Bad guys caught and beat up a bit. Lots of romantic moments, come checking in with ALL the sides, and it ends.

Summary?

Classic CEO meets ingenue archetypes make for a somewhat banal and simplistic romance. This could’ve come from an 80s Harlequin, except that they’re gay. It's... old fashioned. There was nothing meta about this, there was no subversion or commentary on anything BL, queer, or beyond. It’s just a straight up (okay not straight) romance. I was not wild about these characters for this particular pair, but that’s not the pair's fault, they did a decent job with their parts and I look forward to their next show - here’s hoping it’s a bit more meaty. I preferred the side couple because they were more complex and true to BL archetypes, even if they were also a bit miss-handled. A serviceable show if somewhat lacking in its convictions, but with some beautiful sex scenes, people, and fashion. I was a particular fan of Lin‘s gender bending femme style. It’s groundbreaking to see that aesthetic on one of the leads. There were multiple times they could’ve leaned into well established plot points, paranormal elements, and character tension, and instead just glossed over them.

This should probably get a 7/10, but I’m giving it an 8 because of that one oppa line at the beginning, Tenon's tatas, and the call back to Big Dragon with that iconic musical refrain in the final episode. It was a pretty fun ride, emphasis on pretty and ride. 

Battle of the Writers (Sun YT) ep 5 of 12 - Lots of kissing this episode. And lots of different kinds of kissing from the same two actors in various different forms and characters. I really liked it. It’s nice to see that this pair can mix it up a little bit, even if it's just with their lips.

I Saw You in My Dream (Weds Gaga) ep 7 of 12 - OK the leg care massage was so boyfriend I can’t even. Who are they trying to fool? I love the way Ing always knows exactly what is going on. Thank goodness for that confession! I’m very much looking forward to the next episode.

(The socratic method, is it?)

The Trainee (Sun YouTube) ep 9 of 12 - Still couldn’t care less about the hets. Yawn. Ah Jane’s ex shows up. (Is that Green? Hi baby!) Meanwhile, Jane gets worried and jealous. I loved Pah in this ep, and almost wish this were a show just about him. Like a grown-up Green Fictions. (Where tf did Poon COME from allasudden? He’s a killer actor. GMMTV better use him wisely.) Also, in that scene with Pat and P’Jo, they’re eating some of my favorite food. I got a little bit of linguistic negotiation with Khun Par Phi. Cuteness. And we end with some actual communication. Yay!!! It’s kind of hilarious to see OffGun in a tentative hug. I don’t think they’ve been that way for a years.

In fact, this whole episode was pretty much about communicating properly between ages and ranks within an office and social structure. I loved that. I’m liking this one more this week. It’s still not my favorite currently airing, but I think that mostly has to do with how much other good stuff is on right now.

SPEAKING OF...

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

The On1y One (Taiwan Thurs Gaga) eps 3-4 of 12 - Uh huh, a game of one-up-man-ship is it? I think not. That boy wants to jump his cute stepbrother’s bones so bad that big brain of his is starting to melt. I'm here for it. Also, said sunshine cutie is clearly a big old cock tease. Everybody is happy about this. They sure know how to end these episodes on cliffhangers too. I don’t know how I’m gonna wait until next week.

I’m legit mad about how fucking good this is. After Unknown too?! Taiwan is spoiling us this year and THEY SHOULD HAVE BEEN DOING IT ALL ALONG.

Sugar Dog Life (Japan Sun grey) ep 3-4 of 10 - Oh my goodness do I love this show. It makes me laugh, I adore the premise, I'm wild over the characters, and the acting is killer. I’m just really happy about this show, OK? I tend to sing and clap: Oh they so cute.

Baby got his first crush and he has no idea what to do about it. I ADORE how angry he is about it. Like... How dare I even consider falling in love with somebody? How annoying of me. It’s great. I even liked the girl in the confession and how cool and sweet they both were to each other over his rejection. Bang up job. This is fantastic BL of the newer modern style. (As contrasted to On1y)

These top two shows are neck and neck for best of the week, for entirely different reasons. But I love all my sons.

Speaking of...

Cosmetic Playlover (Japan Tues Gaga) eps 7-8 fin - Oh it’s so adorable with the drama and the little subordinate coming to their rescue, and them meeting each other’s family. "I want to become someone who is essential in your life" = peak romance.

Summation?

I loved this little show. It was a classic office BL about the older workaholic who loves his job and the younger upstart who unexpectedly loves his boss. It’s a hyung romance where everybody is extremely earnest and sweet and pretty about everything. Except our seme, who is slightly unhinged and a little obsessed in all the ways one likes best from Japan. Plus the kisses were good! I can’t ask for anything more, utterly charming unexpected gem of a show. What a great time! 9/10

I Hear the Sunspot AKA Hidamari ga Kikoeru (Japan Weds Gaga) ep 11 of 12 - The lack of communication between these 2 may actually drive me insane. But I still love them. Such a sad ep. 

Seoul Blues (Korea Fri? YouTube) ep 3 of 8 - Argh but also oooooo. I bet the uncut version was fantastic this week.

First Note Of Love (Taiwan Mon Gaga) eps 5-6 of 12 - I'm starting to like this better. I’m still not convinced, but I did enjoy watching it this week. I’m getting some chemistry off the leads. Admittedly. that’s because they both behave like 16-year-olds. Surprise MosBank cameo - looking handsome as ever, boys. (Honestly, Taiwan really wants that King of the Cameos crown.) And FINALLY our side couple. I’m looking forward to next week primarily because of them. And I don’t even have them yet!

Takara's Treasure AKA Takara No Vidro (Japan Mon Gaga) ep 9 of 10 - OK the lap cuddle was v cute. As was the handholding. But hiking with a metal griddle? Insanity. Might be the craziest thing in a BL this year. And The Sign aired this year. Meanwhile, not a dead fish kiss! Yay! 

It's airing but...

4 Minutes (Sat Gaga) eps 1-6 of 8 - Gaga picked this one up so we can watch it there. I'm waiting until the end, it seems angsty and confusing and full of awful people being awful. But also... high heat and I'm shallow. So we shall see which devil wins (and how it ends).

In case you missed it

Meet You at the Blossom (China) - I'm eating crow, binging the fucker, and live blogging. It's just taking me some time. This isn't really a bingable show, not for me anyway. It's A LOT to take all at once.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

Coming SEPTEMBER 2024:

9/? The Time of Fever (Korea iQIYI) 6 eps - HoTae & DongHee are back! Side couple from Unintentional Love Story, same actors, same character names I an WILD for this.

9/1 Live in Love (Thai Sun Gaga) 5 eps - Short series featuring and online romance turning IRL.

9/3 Happy of the End (Japan Tues Gaga) - Based on a manga, longer than usual run time. A boy is disowned for being gay, dumped by his boyfriend, and ends up in a dysfunctional co-dependant relationship with his would-be kidnapper. We were due for another messy JBL. Here it is!

9/6 Kidnap (Thai Friday GMMTV YouTube) 12 eps - Ohm Pawat is back for Frigays it's gonna be a blast.

9/7 The Hidden Moon (Thai Sat ????) 10 eps - This is a supernatural romance (my ghost boyfriend trope) ‘เดือนพราง’ by Violet Rain (I Feel You Linger)... A Bangkok writer is hired to write an article about an old mansion in Chiang Mai which is being converted into a café. He gets into an accident and nearly dies on his way there. After that, he sees the ghosts of people who died at the mansion, one boy catches his attention. Was substantially recast.

9/9 Jack & Joker (Thai Mon IQIYI) 12 eps? - Be gay YinWar, do crimes. Dehup gives us Yin, War, Mark and a few other familiar faces in a Leverage sitch, only queerer.

9/14 Love Sick 2024 (Thai Sat ????) ?? eps - Remake of the original. I'm scared too.

9/15 Bad Guy My Boss (Thai Sun Gaga) 10 eps - Assistant to a player boss who is in love with that boss decides to quit to save himself. The boss then makes a move. (A gay What's up with Secretary Kim?)

9/17 Love is Like a Poison AKA Doku Koi: Doku mo Sugireba Koi to Naru (Japan Tues Netflix?) 10 eps - Lawyer and a con artist meet at a bar, pair up, fall in love.

9/28 Teenager Judge (Vietnam Sat YouTube) ?? eps - oh I don't know just Ba Vinh doing his thing with pretty boys again.

Adventures in miss-captions

(been a while since we had one of these)

SNICKER "nail you" and a "nail you down" = completely different things. But this being Japan they might have met either or both. (Cosmetic)

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

Why yes, you do have the prettiest lips in the biz. No need to tease us like that. (Battle)

(Last week)

Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are a pain.

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

Sigh, Tumblr in its infinite wisdom doesn't like too many tags.

[kaithonks]

So I’ve had some Thoughts about From the DC Vault: Death in the Family: Robin Lives!

Warning: Spoilers 

My mistake with From the DC Vault: Death in the Family: Robin Lives! was thinking that the story would actually be about Robin. That was on me. I should have known better, but I let my excitement of finally getting more Jason Todd, Robin content get away from me. I set up poor expectations, and it’s not the comic’s fault for not meeting those expectations. 

Everything else is, though. 

I know I’m biased, and I am probably writing this too soon after having finished Robin Lives to really give myself time to think critically about the story. But, I also feel rather offended by the end and feel the need to strike while the iron is hot. Recently, I talked about fans and writers needing to have respect for each other, as they can’t exist without each other. I also mentioned having a respect for the history of the comic. On that, I don’t get the feeling that J. M. DeMatteis has much respect for the history that was Jason’s Robin run. Granted, this isn’t mainline canon. It is more of a ‘What if?’ So DeMatteis wasn’t “entrusted” the same way but, there was still a line of basic respect that feels very lacking. Now, DeMatteis has been writing since the 80s and has written a lot for both DC and Marvel so he is a part of comic history, but this doesn’t really translate into respect for characters. Or for fans.

Both Jason and Dick’s character have a rough time in this 4 issue series. While the series called “Robin Lives” mostly focuses on Bruce and his regret, by doing that it makes Jason and Dick more like props for Bruce’s guilt than actually characters with their own agency. Bruce outright denies Dick’s choice in becoming a Robin and even later Nightwing. In this guilt, Bruce totally takes away the fact that even as a child, Dick did choose this, and he chose it again when he became Nightwing. So Bruce’s guilt serves no one here. And this problem gets worst with the Robin Lives ending. Dick becoming Batman, is an incredibly weak ending to start. Because most of Dick’s history is him growing out of Robin and then trying to break out of Bruce’s shadow. Yes, Battle for the Cowl happens, but it’s more complex than Dick just becoming Batman. And it’s easy to see how pointless all of Bruce’s guilt was when he decided to leave his role as Batman, only for Dick to take it up again. It really feels like Dick is only a prop for Bruce’s journey. Dick is here for Bruce to feel guilty about, but then to also relieve him of the duty that also makes him feel guilty. 

And it is so much worse with Jason. This does sort of come back to me setting up poor expectations and the fact I thought this would be about Jason’s recover, but it was glossed over. We simply jump to Jason now being okay, which is a choice, if on the unbelievable side. What is worse, though, is how Bruce and the comic, makes Jason’s trauma about Bruce. Because yes, to an extent Bruce holds fault for the events leading up to Death in the Family. But he mainly holds fault in the form of negligence. He didn’t properly check out Sheila Haywood's background before for deciding she was a safe person to leave his son with. I am boiling down the issue of character interaction between Bruce and Jason (and outside influence that puts Jason’s last issues into context), but my point still stands that Bruce and Jason still made choices. For Jason’s part, he chose to trust Shelia to try, and save her. And in reality, Joker and Shelia hold the blame for Jason’s trauma. The fact Shelia was only briefly seen in a hallucination and “saving” Jason, again feels like DeMatteis has a lacking appreciation for the history of Jason’s Robin, and it’s context. Yes, Shelia saving Jason would be something Jason would want, but the event after this takes away everything that would make Jason still want Shelia’s affection in some way. With the ending and Jason becoming the Joker to Dick’s Batman, shows this. It ultimately feels like both Dick and Jason were used as stage props to re-establish some kind of status quo for a series that was only planned for only four issue. The run very well could have ended with the Joker’s death and everyone going to live happy lives but for some reason no. 

Now, one could see that as DeMatteis having a respect for Batman’s history as a whole and a path for a continuation. I would argue, though, that it shouldn’t come at the cost of other character’s agency. The leap in Jason’s “madness” is awkward, and when I say leap I mean a massive leap. This goes back to my problem with the story not focusing on Jason. We spend so much time in Bruce’s grief that when it is about Jason, everything goes sideways and ends up with being a “What the hell did that happen?” Especially since in the context of the story, Jason should have gotten a lot more support from Bruce, now retired, from Dick, now living back in Gotham, and from Dr. Sarawarti Dev, a psychologist. Having Jason still become the Joker after all this, not only feels like all of those people continued to fail him (especially as Bruce and Dr. Sara get married, which was a strange addition), but that he never really had any choice.  The story didn’t take the time to show us this, to show us how or where Jason became the Joker. He even denied becoming like the Joke in early issue 4. A point might be made that killing the Joker made Jason the new Joker, but a counterpoint Why? Jason already had the choice and decided? Why did he go back on that? Jason was Robin, Robin has the role of bringing hope, and being more compassionate, countering the fear Batman brings. We see Jason’s compassion before he died (or was injured in this case), when he still tried to save Shelia after she betrayed him. We see it in this comic with him still wanting her affection in his hallucination. So where did that compassion and care go?  

The answer? It didn’t go anywhere.  It was forgotten for the sake of a convoluted twist to make a reader gasp. Robin Lives spends its whole four issue run taking away the choice and agency of Robin. Robin does not live here. He becomes a puppet of the plot not to move outside of its designated story, he only can become Batman or the Joker. But never his own being. For anyone who’s ever enjoyed Robin, be it Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Tim Drake, Stephanie Brown, Damian Wayne or any other Robin, past or future, Robin Lives is an insult.

[madtotry]

thinking of you, with my head underwater one. — two. — three. — coming soon.

hiccup haddock x reader

a/n. featuring toothless. gn reader. reader's dragon is one i created/came up with myself, youre welcome to ask about it! i plan for this to be a series - and to reveal more soon (if you have any questions/confusions about the plot youre welcome to pop into my inbox with those too) let me know if you want to be added to a taglist for my writing/this series

it hadn't been easy to get you to simply let hiccup look at your dragon — elsa — from afar without panicking, let alone convince you to go on a short flight with him.

so now, as you glide just above the surface of the sea, your gaze remains ahead; keeping an eye on elsa beneath you, and hiccup to your side, in your peripheral vision.

he hasn't said too much, and he probably means it as some sort of polite courtesy in an attempt to not overwhelm you, but it only serves to heighten your nerves at the possibility of him just waiting for the right time to attack you and steal elsa.

"what's her firepower?" he finally asks, at a volume that you think might have been in an attempt not to scare you, but is almost so quiet it gets whipped away even in the calm breeze.

you query a, "what?" in confusion, but he reads it as you not hearing him properly.

"firepower," he repeats kindly, and leans down to mutter something to his dragon, "like this."

a moment later, toothless opens his mouth — causing elsa to twitch just an inch away anxiously — and shoots a blast out of his mouth that flies ahead and disperses in a purple burst a few seconds after.

you tense once you understand, having never seen elsa do anything like that, let alone even just the normal fire you've caught other dragons spurting.

hiccup however, notices your sudden — extra — uneasiness, and doesn't pick up on the real reason.

"you don't have to tell me," he tries to catch your eye with a comforting smile, "i'm just asking because i've never seen a dragon like yours before."

you try to cooperate, "neither have i."

hiccup's head already spins with new questions, but goes easy on you with a simple, "could you tell me about her?" that he hopes is open-ended enough that you don't feel pressured.

elsa lets out a low, quiet, murmur that only you catch that tells you she's just as uncertain as yourself.

you don't know how he keeps being so patient and perceptive, but hiccup notices both you and your dragons' hesitance yet again, and speaks.

with a smile, he says, "this is how he got his name," nodding to toothless, who turns to look in your direction with a grin, mouth wide as he retracts his teeth and extends them back out a moment later proudly.

you can't help but feel the slightest upturn of your lips at toothless's pure joy, and a small hum from elsa and a ruffle of her wings tells you she feels the same; though appears to be better at hiding it than yourself.

"cool, right?" hiccup smiles back at you.

"i can show you more, this guy's full of secrets," he scratches a little crook in toothless's neck, who purrs happily at the affection, "aren't you!"

it slips out in a moment of comfort that you don't entirely hate, when you finally say, "she floats."

it takes a second for you to realise what you've said, and another to notice how nonsensical it sounds. but hiccup's reaction doesn't reflect this, if anything the sparkle in his eyes is just that little bit brighter - like he knows he's making progress. and his smile has not once faltered, but it has grown just a bit softer, perhaps more genuine?

he leaves room for you to elaborate, so when you don't — whether that be from the high-tide of anxiety splashing at your chest, or inexplicable embarrassment — he says:

"could you show us?"

elsa's sudden jolt away is unmistakable, and it doesn't take even a breath for you to tune into her uneasiness, and to tense yourself.

your head shakes without you realising, and all you can muster is a quick mumbled, "sorry," before elsa flies the two of you away; hopefully to somewhere you two are familiar with, somewhere safe.

you don't catch the way both his and toothless's expressions fall as you exit, nor the way he still politely stays where he was an makes no effort to chase after you - lest he scare you or elsa any further. he simply watches with a hint of sadness, and hopes you will be around the next time he flies through here.

[wiltedprayers]

i know Bastogne is universally recognized as the Best band of brothers episode and listen, I get it and also agree in the sense that the story portrayed is the most interesting and overall it's incredibly well written. but I'd just like to point out the excellence that's episode 5, "Crossroads."

(Crossroads is the episode that focuses the most on Dick Winters — ep 1, 2, and later 10 also do but it's not as centralized as it is here — We follow Dick through an anachronistic series of events, and the episode ends with E company moving towards Bastogne. It's directed by Tom Hanks.)

I love this episode because of all the different creative choices it has and how it stands out visually and sonically in comparison to all the other eps. so in technical aspects, it's my favorite of the bunch. this distinction is exemplary in the sequences that go from Dick writing his report quietly in his office to him leading the attack on the SS companies. It's very interesting to me how loud and obnoxious the typing gets for both Dick and the audience after a while; in the battlefield, there's nothing to pull Dick out of his concentration, always the focused leader. he has a mission to do, and he intends to carry it out as smoothly as possible (as seen in this episode). in the office, though, he's distracted, losing track of time, almost physically feeling the noises of the typewriter as if it was the sound of a gun going off inside his ears.

the back and forth between time periods is amazing. the sound design in this episode is my personal favorite (in a show with explosions and rifles, you wouldn't think a clacking typewriter and a man out of breath would be the reason for this). the combined sounds of Dick writing with the gunshots going off, the change in paragraphs with the tearing of the tape? Dick and the company running towards the enemy (clearly screaming) with nothing but the sounds of their breaths and footsteps making noise? just excellent sound design.

also, the cinematography. I could talk for hours about how good this episode's photography and lighting are. there's this particular moment I love after Alley is shown to be hit and bleeding on the barn table, where we immediately cut to Dick writing about this in his report. it's all about the stark contrast between the lived experience of seeing one of your men badly wounded and then simply writing and reading about it.

the night shots as well. it's very easy to fail in making a night scene both properly lit but also indicative of the time (some shows make it look dark as shit basically), but band of brothers does it well: in the first pic, you only have the moonlight as illumination, which is not much, but it helps to get you into Dick's perspective of having to go through this mission in the depths of night with such a limited field of vision.

there's several night scenes in this episode, most notably the battle on the Crossroads, but also Operation Pegasus, the night Moose is shot, Dick in Paris, and then Easy company going into Bastogne.

finally, the color grading. band of brothers is a strange show that's always changing in its color grading — maybe the different directors had no prior discussion before filming the episodes, as it happened with the writers' room, but I doubt this — nevertheless, Crossroads' color grading stands out, specially in the long-awaited scene of E company charging against the SS companies.

the high contrast of the dark shadows with the desaturated greens (and later reds) make for quite a sight, especially if you compare it to the warmer tones of the present scenes of Dick writing. the show wants you to know how different these moments are for Dick, who under fire is collected and focused but is ultimately crumbling under the bureaucratic pressure.

also I freaking love all the shots and framing of the typewriter. nothing to say other than they're cool as hell.

and this isn't even covering the emotional and character-driven aspects of the story! (that's a post for another day, maybe). for me Crossroads is a masterpiece of an episode in what it means to use camera, lighting, and sound to make your story as immersing as possible; it connects beautifully all technical aspects of filmmaking and, in my opinion, delivers one of the show's best episodes (that's accompanied with a great script.)

[teawithnosugar]

Your Love

Ellie x Reader

CW: angst/comfort at the end, slight gore, trauma, mentions of abuse (I think), Ellie is kind of mean at first, Joel and Jesse ain’t dead here WORDS: 2,6k SYNOPSIS: You and Ellie may fight sometimes, but she’s still the one that understands you most in the world. SONG: True Blue - boygenius

"I remember who I am when I’m with you"

AN: ....it's been over a month...I AM SO SORRY. I'm on 3 hours of sleep so I wasn't able to edit this properly. This plot was waaaay better in my head, thinking abt making this a mini series. The reader’s past isn’t that detailed in this one but I think you’re able to get the idea djdbsjs 😭

When you first came to Jackson, you were 15, quiet, body tense, and covered from head to two in crimson liquid. Now you were 22, still quiet, still tense, and drenched in rain water. You and Ellie had just gotten back from patrol. You accidentally left behind a bag of loot while trying to save Ellie from a group of raiders. As soon as the door to your small cabin closed, she was on you, shouting at you for your mistake, voice as loud as the harsh rain outside. Jackson made you happy, talkative, at peace, but in moments like this it was easy to become that 15 year old again, scared and just taking the blows.

“There’s a flu going around Y/N! People need the medicine you just lost!”

Ellie was furious, pacing the cabin. It was like you were at that facility again, adults shouting at kids for not hitting their targets or being able to beat up other kids during training. You felt so small.

In reality, Ellie was angry, not at you, but at her own sense of burden. She still wasn’t over the incident at the hospital, and the vaccine that was never made because of her and now the medicine the town wouldn’t get because of her mistake. The guilt was overflowing, and coming out as steam in her ears and harsh words from her mouth. “I just…I just wanted to protect you,” you whispered. She froze, expression softening before it hardened. Before she could snap again, there was a knock on the door of your small cabin. You both looked at each other, slightly confused but more to tell each other that this would have to continue later. “We ran into a group of 15, but while we were getting away we saw more of them, all camping in Teton.” You don’t remember how you got here, in a meeting with Tommy, Joel, Jessie, Ellie, and Maria. Not that you were listening anyways. Everyone’s voices sounded fuzzy and echoey, like a vacuum of some sorts. You stared at the cracked wood of Maria’s dinner table. You couldn’t pay attention to the conversation, all you could think of was how empty your stomach felt but you didn’t have the appetite to eat anything.

“…I’m sorry to bring all of you here. Usually in situations like this I send Joel and Y/N…but Joel is getting old and Y/N…doesn’t seem to be in the state to do this alone.”

Maria's concern for your well-being echoes faintly, but it's Ellie’s hand on your knee from under the table that anchors you. She could tell your mind was slipping away again, and she had calmed down greatly since a while ago and wanted to comfort you. She recognized the way you gave a small nod at Maria’s words, eyes staring down at your lap when you felt everyone’s eyes on you. 

You couldn’t help but feel like a burden. Killing and defending was all you were raised to do, and you felt like a disappointment for failing at your only notable job in the community.

You silently played with Ellie’s hand as the meeting went on. You wanted to help with the plan, to tell them some of what they came up with was a bit too dangerous and that it would’ve been easier if they just sent you, but you stayed quiet. If you were being honest, you didn’t really care at the moment, a numbness in your core eating away at your insides. You felt so empty.

In these moments, you found yourself drowning in a familiar sea of emotions. There was little else to do but immerse yourself in the touch of Ellie's skin.It wasn't a difficult choice to make – you could either get lost in your mind's maze or savor the sweetness of Ellie's hand, and surely, the latter was a far more delightful path to take.

As the meeting went on, Ellie glanced at you every few minutes. She hadn’t seen you like this in a long time. “You’re not a fucking killing machine” she had told you so many times before. “Yeah but I’m the best at playing the part” you’d always respond. 

You wanted to help the community that had welcomed you so gracefully years ago. You lacked the culinary skills to prepare hearty meals, the green thumb to tend to blossoming seeds, and the craftsmanship to build sturdy shelters, so you helped the only way you knew how, by protecting them from outsiders, the thing you used to be long ago. Ellie understood your need to be useful all too well, too well to stop you despite how much you hated what you were doing. It’s the reason you chose flight over fight during patrol; you hated killing people.

“You leave in 30 minutes, pack up and meet in front of the gates.” Maria said, and the screeching of chairs being moved hit your ears, bringing you back to the current moment and flinching slightly. Ellie guided you out of the house and silently walked with you back to you to the small cabin. She kept a gentle hand secured around your waist, guilt from your previous argument eating away at her.

“I’m sorr-“

“It’s fine Els” you replied softly, pulling away slowly once you reached your cabin.

It was easy to gather your stuff, your belongings lay where you left them, forgotten in the heat of your argument. Gathering your things became a breeze once you decided to regain composure. However, as you turned around, you found Ellie already sorted and waiting, her eyes fixed on you like a gentle lighthouse beaming with concern.

She drew near and held you by your hips, rubbing and squeezing the flesh under your jeans comfortingly as she leaned her forehead against yours. She looked into your eyes softly. “I can ask Maria to let you sit this one ou-” “I’m fine Els” you repeated, still speaking softly, pressing your lips softly against yours. She smiled against your lips. She knew you weren’t fine, the tender touch of your lips on hers stirred a dance of butterflies in her mind, spinning and swirling like dandelion seeds caught in a playful breeze, just as you planned.

You held hands the whole walk to the gates and the ride to the planned spot. Your arm wrapped around Ellie’s torso as your entwined hands rested on her stomach. You sat behind her on Shimmer. Jesse led the group on his horse as he held the map and you all stayed close together on your horses. You traveled in a line, Jesse, then you and Ellie, then Joel and Tommy. You held the flashlight in your free hand to help light up the path, the sun had set moments ago. The plan was stupid, go in the dark so we could see their lights. It was something that could easily backfire but you didn’t speak up during the meeting so you’d have to deal with the consequences now.

Once you reached the spot, you set up a small base, preparing your weapons and tying down the horses. The area was just a little away from the camp of the people you saw a while ago. Once everyone found their place and the world hushed, Ellie stood beside you while you shed your jacket and tied your shoes with a firm, double knot. The plan was that you would go ahead, scout the area better and come back with useful information. Your unique talent for moving with an almost supernatural silence made you the natural pick for this task.

Her gaze lingered on you before she finally spoke “baby, are you sure?” You stood up straight and gave her a reassuring smile “I’m sure.” You gave her a peck in the cheek and waved to the others before disappearing into the trees, pistol, knife, and binoculars in hand, you left all your bigger weapons with the others to have more mobility.

As you approached the outskirts of the town where the camp lay, confusion washed over you like a cloud passing over the sun. The place was deserted, like a ghost town with its fires extinguished, and not a soul in sight, as if everyone had vanished into thin air. The echoes of gunfire hit you like a punch to the gut, and instinct took over, propelling your body into a sprint as if it had a mind of its own. With your gun and knife firmly grasped in each hand, you darted through the chaos at lightning speed. As you drew nearer, a grim scene unfolded before your eyes like a haunting painting, with lifeless bodies scattered like fallen leaves on a desolate path. …1..2..3…..8..9….

6 more were still alive. You ran around the area, staying out of the light, but your heart shattered into pieces as the sounds of Tommy and Ellie's desperate calls for Joel reached your ears. There, you saw the scene unfolding like a tragic play: Joel lying wounded under the raider's boot, his blood pooling into the grass under him. Ellie struggled to support Jesse who seemed to have gotten injured too. It was just Tommy and Ellie left, able to point their guns at the enemies who did the same. The raiders' shouts faded into the background, drowned out by the persistent ringing in your ears, now back with a vengeance. Ellie's gaze met yours, and with a hesitant nod, she urged you to do what you excelled at. She despised herself for it, knowing she was pushing you to embrace something you detested. But Joel and Jesse needed help, her and Tommy had used up all they had on the other 9 men, and they were basically cornered.

You moved expertly and quickly, mind blank aside from the need to protect your friends and your girlfriend. You shot and sliced through the group while dodging their attacks with ease. Your focus narrowed solely on the task at hand, blocking out everything else. Your friends' voices were lost, and all you saw were the raw, visceral images of flesh and blood as you killed and killed and killed and killed and killed. You didn’t even remember how you got there, straddling the chest of the man you knew was stepping on Joel awhile ago but you couldn’t even recognize his face anymore. Like a relentless storm, you repeatedly stabbed, the knife becoming an extension of your hand, painting the air crimson with every fierce strike. The man's features were now lost amidst the sea of red flesh and the occasional glimpses of his shattered skull, like shards of a broken mirror. 

Your hands, once steady and sure, now throbbed with pain as they clutched onto the knife, coated in a macabre tapestry of bloodstains. The pistol you once held was discarded on the ground nearby, forgotten in the haze of battle. Bruises were likely forming under the stains, but such sensations were distant, eclipsed by the singular focus in your mind, as if you were a machine set on a single purpose. You had slipped into that zone, the mindset of that child trained to kill, where the world narrowed to a singular purpose, leaving everything else behind.

That was until you felt a familiar pair of hands gently pull you off the messy mound of lifeless red flesh, holding you close to their very much alive one. Once the familiar smell of rain water and pinewood hit your nose, you forgot all about the faint smell of blood, like it was just a distant memory. Tilting your head up, you met her worried gaze, her green eyes tightly knit with concern, etching a profound impact on your heart.

“Kid, are you okay?” Tommy had kneeled down in front of you two after quickly packing up everyone’s stuff and putting them on the horses. The worry on his face made the tears that had already unconsciously welled up in your eyes spill over. He didn’t hate you, he was worried, and so was Ellie. She hasn’t seen you like this…in years, and it was breaking her heart because it felt like all the progress you went through just…vanished. But that wasn’t true, you’d be fine. You’d always be fine with her there.

You nodded shakily towards the older man who had become a father figure to you in your time in Jackson. Your eyes flickered towards Jesse and Joel, both injured and on the horses, suffering silently as they waited for us to start moving. ‘Get your shit together’ you screamed internally.

You sadly pulled away from Ellie and stood up. The two needed to get medical attention soon. The ride back was quiet but fast. Ellie and Tommy rode with Jesse and Joel so they wouldn’t have to move much so you were riding on your own horse. Your face was blank but god the voices in your head were loud as you mindlessly followed the two other horses.

‘You should’ve done this alone’

‘One of the men you killed had a wedding band, could one of the other bodies be their loved one?’

‘You could’ve helped plan it out better during the meeting’

‘Another one of the men screamed so loud you were able to hear it through the ringing in your ears, as if the stars cared he was dying. Did you not kill him quickly enough?’

‘None of this would’ve happened if you fucking said something earlier’

The brunette looked back at you every once in a while to make sure you were still there. She was obviously overwhelmed, both her father figure and her best friend were bleeding out and her girlfriend was visibly close to breaking down after killing 6 people in fucking seconds. She kept it together though, she had to.

Once you all arrived back in town and the lives of her loved ones were assured, she brought you home. Ellie tossed all your stuff and hers onto the peeling leather couch, not caring about them at all because you were the priority right now.

Ellie pulled you with her onto the bed, cradling you in her arms. The blood on your body seeped into the sheets, leaving dark stains in its wake. In your dazed state, you managed to utter a faint concern, "I don't want to get the bed dirty." While you were consumed with guilt over the bed, Ellie's heart ached that your focus was on something seemingly trivial amidst the chaos you had faced. Her scent, her touch, she was like some magical drug that quiets the voices in your head. Who needed therapy or talk when she was just there?  She stayed quiet and held you tighter, hiding your hands in hers so you wouldn’t see the crimson that stained on them. After a few moments she pressed a kiss to the back of your head and it’s like you couldn’t even remember what you were arguing about earlier in the day, and how you were supposed to continue talking about it. It was better this way, neither of you won something that probably wasn’t even worth keeping score of. You felt her arms slip under your back and your leg as she started carrying you towards the bathroom, you didn’t fight her hold, you leaned into it actually, snuggling your face into her chest.

“Let’s get you cleaned up, yeah? Then we can get you that pasta and garlic bread from the Diner you like so much.”

“Mhm.”

[greentrickster]

For the Great God Airplane AU, this time I've been thinking a bit more about Airplane and Shen Jiu having another, proper meeting after Shang Qinghua's regained his divine memories. Because, while it was... nice to hear that open acceptance, that Shangdi was glad that Shen Jiu managed to become Ninth Road, that even his creator thought the fate he'd written for Shen Jiu was too harsh... the fact remains that he still wrote it. Still allowed it to happen.

(He came down from Heaven and incarnated to witness these long-destined events, and to save the world... but not early enough to save Shen Jiu.)

And that sort of thing leaves questions, especially after having had a bit over ten years to think on it (to stew on it (for, for all that they love him, his heavenly siblings openly love Airplane Shangdi best of all things, so he's never even considered speaking to them on this subject))). And the most important question is simply...

Why?

Why allow this to happen?

If you love this world and its people so much, if you wanted to save them from destruction, why let the events leading to it play out in such a way? Why try and change it as a man instead of an all-powerful god?

Why?

They're sitting in one of An Ding's gardens, near enough Shang Qinghua's leisure house to ensure privacy, but nowhere they ever encountered each other in Ninth Road's first life. Shang Qinghua had been getting a breath of fresh air before his newest Official chose this moment to pop up next to him again, as refined and skittish as a street cat still learning how to trust. And, as the one who created him, Qinghua knows exactly how close to truth that comparison is, and mentally rearranges his schedule to prioritize this discussion before doing his best to answer in a way someone who hasn't been there from the beginning will properly understand. In the end he pulls a book out of his sleeve, holding it in his hands.

"Okay, so, books have a lot of words in them, right? And when you're first writing the book, it's fairly easy to go back and check over what you've written, make changes, correct mistakes. But once- once it's published? And there are people out there reading it, buying their own copies? After that it's- I can edit my own copy as much as I want, and it'll be the most accurate version, because I'm the author, but I can't go and just... edit everyone else's copy as well, you know? Maybe if it was just one or two copies that I gave to friends, but not-not everyone's.

"And this- my story. About you and Luo Binge. 'The Grand Fate of the World,' if you want to use your heavenly siblings' term for it... Imagine that as a book. Not just one book, a whole series of books, a series that's millions of words long, and everything in this world has its own set of them. Like, look," he bends down and scoops up a handful of dust, letting it sift between his fingers to blow away in the breeze once he's upright again. "Every single particle of dust I just picked up? Had the equivalent of its own copy of that story inside it. And it's the same for every speck of dust, every drop of liquid, every sliver of bone, every breath of air, every tiny piece of anything that makes this world. And- and I couldn't go through and edit every single copy of those stories, not even as Shangdi, not without- ...not without taking the world apart into nothing again and completely remaking it.

"And by the time it all started to feel really real to me, more than just a chance to tell a story I'd wanted to write more than anything in my last life, but tell it right this time.... by the time I reached that point, it was- hundreds of years had passed, and- and the world was full of people, real, living people, and I had my Officials, and they were part of this world too, and- and they were all real and I couldn't just... erase them like they were words on a page, you're all full of stories, but you're not just words on a page, you're real people."

He says it with such quiet intensity that it's startling. Ninth Road is so used to seeing Shang Qinghua as slippery, untrustworthy, nervous, perhaps overworked, he's never seen him talk about something he's truly passionate about.

About something he truly cares about.

And it is obvious, in this instant, that Shang Qinghua, that Airplane Shangdi, truly cares about this world and its people. Cares about them more than he has words to properly express, even as a god or a writer.

"And I couldn't fix it as Shangdi," Shang Qinghua continues, oblivious to Ninth Road's musings, "I couldn't- I'm really powerful like that, but for something so big and delicate, it's either scrap the whole project and start over or get right down deep inside and try to fix things from there. And I just- what would be the point of making it all again, if I did just start over? It wouldn't be the same, and this world's kinda a hot mess in a lot of ways, but... that's part of why I like it so much! But I broke it, or set it up to get broken, so... I had to come down and fix it. But then I couldn't do it on my own, so... so I asked for help. And you answered. And Cucumber-bro answered. And... now we're here, and- and I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I didn't- I should have done it better right from the beginning, I should have- fuck, thank-you. You saved my world. You saved everyone. You saved me. I'm so glad you're the one who answered when I asked, thank-you."

It's... sincere. Too sincere for one with a face as thin as Ninth Road's, and praise too high for the part he played. "It was Shen Qingqiu who did as you say, not this Official."

Shangdi fucking scoffs at this. "Cucumber-bro may have done the legwork, but he wouldn't have been able to do a damn thing if you hadn't answered my call. And I know you, Ninth Road, I know you didn't actually believe you'd actually get anything for doing what you got asked! Nothing can get done if there's no room to do anything, and you gave it all up to make room. And I'm god and I'm right, so just- just be polite and say 'you're welcome' for once, because I'm an obnoxious little shit and I won't stop thanking until you get that you genuinely did something worth being thanked for! So there!"

...

...there's not a lot you can really say to a rebuttal like that, other than the world's stiffest, most awkward, "You're welcome," to which he gets a big smile, another equally big "Thank-you!", and some free gossip on what stupid things Shang Qinghua's martial siblings have done recently.

It's... kind of nice.

Not nice enough for Ninth Road to feel inclined to inform Airplane that there are technically two Luo Binghes running around in this world now, but still... nice.

(And it's not like he needs to tell him, he'll figure it out for himself.)

(Eventually.)