#because it just feels like you will disappoint them anyway and they'll drop you

[whatwouldeddiedo]

Can I ask what it was that changed your mind? Or was it more than one thing? I'm so curious because I suspect a lot more people are about to as well...

well, idk a lot of things. like, mostly i've always been a Buddie First person. Like it was really the ship that got me into fandom, and I've always suspected there was a chance we'd get canon buddie in the end (i think at the lowest end of the scale, i was giving it a 50/50 shot and never less than that). i didn't mind tommy at all, and i even liked the pairing and enjoyed buddietommy AND i actually enjoy eddietommy as well (i actually think it's my favorite of the Tommy Ships and I have some friends that write really really great eddietommy fics that i definitely will still read).

i honestly have had some mixed opinions about all of the fandom drama type stuff - like i have people blocked on both sides who said things that didn't sit right with me so it's not so much that. i mostly tried and still try very hard to keep out of That Part of it because I just don't see any reason. There are always gonna be shitty people in all parts of any fandom I don't particularly see any reason to single out an entire shipbase for the actions of a handful of people who don't have lines or understand that harassing real people over fake ships is wrong.

after confessions, i think bt just didn't really hit the same for me maybe? like i was sad for a minute and i thought i might miss tommy as a character, but in the end i barely even noticed all that much, and the break up was kind of like eh, for me. like i liked it for what it was and then it was done. not to mention, in general, there was a lot of negativity and just downerism over there anyway - suddenly everyone hated the show and Had Never Liked It To Begin With and it had Always Been Bad. Half of the BT fans were like Oliver is a Horrible Diva Who Just Wants Attention. Tommy/Lou got me in teh divorce. Etc etc. It was kind of a nightmare and just sucked the fun out of everything for me, personally. I don't begrudge anyone it didn't do that for. Everyone should have fun in fandom the way they choose, but that's not fun for me.

And then 8x09 happened and it just felt like buddie happening was imminent and i got really excited because that's legit what i've always wanted (and was never quiet about! i never denied it! i always said it was what i wanted!), and i followed some more buddie shippers and just got more and more excited after that ep.

and then i started to lose followers/mutuals lmao. like it started with one person and some vague posts about people being delusional, and then i just decided i didn't care. and then i got an anon asks telling me i was "hanging out with toxic buddies" and they were "ashamed we were ever mutuals" and i was like ah i see this is what it's gonna be like. i am just posting about the ship i like the most and being excited and whimsical and clowning about it with some friends and this is what happens. so i just decided i didn't care anymore and really embraced it.

because to be honest, i'd rather be a ridiculous delusional buddie shipper than the kind of person who unfollows and blocks their friends because they like another ship better, and i think after last week's episode i'm just fully all in and i didn't really love the way tommy acted about all the eddie stuff anyway (like i really really thought making a celebratory claim about the man you're trying to get back together with's best friend who you KNOW he has a really deep relationship with is a dick move), so i just. idk. and i've found that buddie fandom has been more of a fun and positive experience.

and i'm sure there will be people here who won't like me because i was on that side of the fandom for a long time and because there's a part of me that definitely still finds tommy interesting as a character, even though i don't want him dating buck at all anymore, and that's fine too, but i am fully all in on buddie now. it's what i want to see. some of it has to do with fandom, but most of it has to do with actual canon and the fact that it's always what i wanted, and it was just fun enjoying buck kissing a boy for a while, but now i feel like it's time for him to be kissing THE boy, ya know? like tommy helped him get here, but eddie is his person. like really for real his person, and i won't apologize or feel bad for feeling that way and thinking that's what the text is telling me.

IDK if any of that makes sense. I just hope I don't lose any buddie followers for any of what I'm saying. lmfao

did that even answer your question?

[puma-riki]

Clear Crystal Roses ⭑.ᐟ

𝓷ishimura 𝓻iki x 𝓻eader fluff ~ skinship ~ kissing ~ est. relationship ~ not proofread

𝒮ynopsis ~ bf! riki with an s/o who wears glasses. thats it. thats the post. send tweet

ℒ illy's note ~ have this draft while I, again, work on the next no one noticed update. Can you tell I didn't know how to end this drabble LMAO

────────────────── .✦

Ni-ki is absolutely in love with your glasses

like you give him so much cuteness aggression and teasing material

He thinks they make you look extra cute, and he never shuts up about it in the most teasing, yet affectionate way.

He likes pushing them up for you but in the most unnecessary dramatic way. If they slip down your nose, he'll use one exaggerated finger to push them back up for you. Sometimes he'll boop your nose after too.

When you're making him feel particularly soft, he'll gently push them back up by the corner, and caress the side of your face or a strand of your hair.

He's definitely the type to steal them to put them on and then ask you how you see in them and then hold up a hand and ask how many fingers he's holding up. I'm sorry.

He gets a kick out of seeing you rush after him to get them back. The way you huff and get annoyed and have to pry on his arm to even be able to reach the hand he has them in.

After he's had his fun he'll give them back, "You look better in them anyway"

AHHHHHHHHBKSAHSKJD$%%WQ&

He also likes reaching behind your ears where the arms of your glasses sit and pushing them up and down so they'll move up and down on your face. You don't understand why but it makes him giggle so you just let him.

He also complains when you don't have them on. He thinks they make you look extra you, and he adores how they add to your charm. It's not that he thinks you look bad without them, he just prefers you with them. They're such a staple in his mind that seeing you without them feels almost wrong— like something is missing.

So he is the #1 contact hater and when you step out of the bathroom while he's waiting just outside the door, asking if you're ready to leave and you come out without your glasses, he literally gasps

"Where are your glasses? Did you leave them on the nightstand? I'll go grab them." He's already turning on his heel, ready to retrieve them like its an emergency.

You manage to catch him by the arm before he disappears. "Riki, I'm wearing contacts. It's fine"

He stops, eyes flicking to yours, registering the difference. And then, the smallest, most genuine pout forms on his lips. "Oh."

There's something so disappointing in that tiny syllable. You blink up at him, suddenly feeling self-conscious, reaching your hand up so your fingers rest just below your lower eye lid. "Do I look bad with contacts in?"

His head snaps up. "No! Of course not!" His words come out so fast, so earnest, that you almost laugh. "And I'm not saying you shouldn't do what makes you feel comfortable or confident..." His voice trails off and you can tell he wants to say more. "But?" You urge, hands clasping around one of his.

"But... you should wear your glasses... for like... ever. And never take them off becauseyoulooksoprettyinthem." His voice drops a little at the end, like he's admitting something embarrassing, but his gaze is steady— completely sincere. While you just stare at him, unsure how to respond, he exhales dramatically, flopping against the door frame.

"I just like them. They make you look really cute and dorky, and I can't imagine you without them." He gives you a look, like you're personally inconveniencing him by not wearing them. Then, just as you're about to open your mouth to tell him how stupid he is— "Wait. Can you even see me properly right now? Do contacts even work as well as glasses?"

You roll your eyes and swat at his arm. "Yes, dummy. I can see just fine"

If you're not entirely convinced that he doesn't think you look bad without your glasses, well you've got another thing coming

because there's been a time or two he's absolutely hated your glasses.

Ni-ki's trying to focus on kissing you, but your glasses are making it damn near impossible.

The frames keep digging into his cheek, pressing uncomfortably between both of you, and every time he tilts his head to get closer they dig in more. He ignores it at first, too caught up in the way your lips are moving against his, in the way you have a fist full of the fabric of his hoodie like you need him just as badly as he needs you.

But then you pull away abruptly with a sharp hiss when he pushes just a bit too hard, and the bridge of your glasses dig into your own face.

He mutters a quick apology before he brings his hand up to the side of your face and carefully, but without hesitation, curls his fingers around the corner of the frames and pushes them up, settling them on top of your head, where they're finally out of the way.

His eyes flicker over your face now that nothings blocking the view, and something about it makes his stomach flip. He exhales softly, hands sliding down to cup your jaw as he murmurs, "You're so pretty."

And before you can even process the warmth in his voice, he's kissing you again— hungrier, deeper— like he's making up for lost time.

Jesus, I NEED HIM SO BAD

Moving on....

Whenever you say something dorky or correct him, he will always put a finger up in the air and repeat what you said in the most obnoxious voice he can muster.

Yeah, he thinks it's peak comedy.

You give him a deadpan look every time, and he'll ruffle your hair or kiss your cheek to make up for it.

He also points out anything that has glasses and immediately associates it with you.

like this teddy bear has glasses? that's so you! There's an edited picture of some animal with glasses on his phone? That's literally you and he's sending it to you to let you know.

He also hates that one movie cliche where the love interest takes off the female MC's glasses to show her that she's "pretty"

and when a character gets a make-over/glow-up and they take away their glasses

like he cannot express how irritated it makes him.

anytime it shows up in a movie, whether you're there or not, he's rolling his eyes, arms crossed, already muttering under his breath before the scene even finishes.

"Oh, wow," he deadpans, voice dripping with sarcasm. "She took her glasses off, and now she's pretty? Crazy." he's already turning towards you to complain further.

"Do people even actually think like this? Like, does anyone actually believe that glasses make someone less pretty?"

"Maybe you just like glasses too much." He shakes his head, arms flailing in exasperation. "No, it's just dumb! They always act like wearing glasses is like some kind of curse, like, 'Oh no I can't see too well! Now I'll be ugly forever!"

And god forbid some guy in a movie takes off a girl's glasses to tell her she's beautiful. Ni-ki will literally pause the movie/show, Jaw slack with disbelief.

"What the fuck? Why did he have to take them off to see she was pretty? They were just sitting there on her face! She was already pretty!"

He actually gets heated about it. Genuinely offended

He watches you laugh at his mini-meltdown over a silly cliche that only exists in movies. Ni-ki just really likes your glasses. Of course, he thinks you're pretty with them, and without. They're a big part of who you are, even if you don't think much of the frames that sit on your face every day.

────────────────── .✦

𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 (𝐎𝐩𝐞𝐧!)ᯓ★

Taglist | @jiiyen @yangjungwonnie @amoressb @chrrific @stvrriki @hyukabean ...loading

[raylenships]

I have some crazy conspiracy theories:

I always get this really strange, really disappointed, really let down feeling(depression am i right)when I actually stop and think about the relationship dynamics in Moominvalley. I mean, there are so many people who wholeheartedly believe in and support Snufmin but does anyone realize that if they were made canon, it would likely be more unusual and out of the norm for Moominvalley than it would be for our world of reality?

Let's start with the og crew: Moominpapa(Moomintroll's father), the Joxter(Snufkin's father), and the Muddler(Sniff's father). They were a trio of good friends going on adventures and then you look at their children and see how they too are a trio of good friends(I can't assume for two of them though...)going on adventures. Generally, I feel like Moominpapa and Joxter are the ones talked about the most and that's certainly true of Moomintroll and Snufkin as well, although we do love our Muddler and Sniff.

Then you look at what happened after their adventure days were over. They all got married(well most of them anyways) and found girls to love and had children. That's the norm. That's what's expected. That's their childrens' fate.

In the eyes of the kids who watch the show, Moomintroll and Snorkmaiden are soulmates. They’re the perfect couple. They'll end up like Moominmama and Moominpapa. And hopefully, Sniff and Snufkin will find someone too. I mean, I don't how many of you have even heard of the Snufkin and Alicia ship. I don't like it but that would be the norm...I guess. Sorry I really don't like that ship :/

It's never even implied or mentioned ever but I just feel like the unmentioned norm would be expected from like, everyone.

However, I think there’s more hope for the future now since it's now implied that Sniff doesn't really feel romantic feelings for anyone. I think it's safe to even mention that Snorkmaiden isn't a moomin like Moomintroll's parents both are(I mean it's another difference between generations to pin my delusions to)And despite that weird ship with Alicia, I doubt there's anyone on Snufkin’s radar except Moomintroll.

That brings this whole spiel to an even sadder conspiracy: Snufkin is the only one of the two who harbors romantic feelings.

I can't name certain instances because I have short term memory loss but I think this a very plausible theory. There really isn't a romantic interest for Snufkin in the series unless you count when his own step sis tried to get with him in the anime(like wtf was that?) Anyways, Moomintroll, on the other hand, has Snorkmaiden. My thing is, he either loves Snufkin platonically or he realizes he feels something more but doesn't want to break the social norm and disappoint people.

it's gotta be one of those two and since i'm a shipper I gotta lean toward the latter.

(I actually tried writing a fanfic about this a few months ago but I dropped it temporarily. I think I'll pick it up soon because I did like it I just got insecure lol)

But really all i'm doing here is throwing words in your face because I rewatched some s2-s3 episodes and got mad all over again. So yeah.

That's all I have to say today. I honestly think I say more on this site than I do in real life which is really sad but that's life these days. Nobody around to talk to about this stuff except you guys.

Thanks for reading whoever ended up reading this! I'm sorry if I left you more confused than you were before.

'Night, tumblr

[fischlcatgirl]

okay here are my thoughts about genshin at the moment. i have been not making this post for a little bit because it. pisses me off.

I don't know what the fuck they think they're doing with these characters. HONESTLY. yes the state of them was getting worse gradually. it doesn't take a genius to figure out that when part of a character's draw is how strong they are, in order to get people to buy more and more characters, they have to get stronger and stronger.

but what felt before like a gradual incline turned into a fucking cliffside when natlan dropped and mualani was released at a similar power level to neuvillette (who had just just just powercrept every other hydro dps) WITHOUT the same investment or supports he needed.

The problem I think really is not the character kits themselves. It's not that they're out of ideas. It's just that the multipliers are fucking crazy. and to be frank!! I don't think i've seen one person who is happy with the direction things seem to be going.

i can't deny that there are a lot of good older characters and i wouldn't try to. I am. and perhaps will forever be. a fischl main. (all things considered a very lucky main pick. i considered xinyan) But i am annoyed by ccs who will try to tell you that international is still perfectly abyss viable. like girl. go play international then. go play kokomi taser. go play morgana.

content that should be designed to be challenging mechanically is NOT because it's way easier and more profitable to create a situation where the game looks you dead in the face and goes. drop 2000$ for c2 mauvika and citlali and just kill the enemies before they 1-shot you. otherwise enjoy the next half hour of restarting the chamber.

the fact that they changed the rules for the chronicled wish to put shenhe on rather than let go of hu tao, especially when they have arlecchino right there to give as many regular reruns as they want, is particularly scummy. especially after over a year of shenhe not having a rerun. incredibly nasty. just a flagrant display of how little they care about the feelings of their players as compared to their bottom line.

They're a business. Whatever. That doesn't make it cool or right.

I love genshin's story. I'm concerned for its direction. I'm concerned for the writing of its characters. Maybe I'm missing something, but Mualani's hydro vision doesn't represent jack shit in terms of a duality of character. Citlali could have been absolutely fascinating but has instead been reduced to a tusundre love interest for the traveller to a degree they didn't even inflict on Ayaka. We're supposed to see playable Skirk soon-ish, which I would love to be excited about but tbh with how they handled citlali (another woman who is hundreds of years old and incredibly powerful) I am preparing myself for disappointment.

WHICH SUCKS! I love genshin! I love it! I think that it started out a good game, and that it could be a good game again. Who knows? Maybe natlan will be the character-release equivalent of inazuma's story quest: kind of bad, but with much better things after it. Maybe they'll finally start running three characters at once. Maybe Childe will come back and I will forget my troubles again. I will quit genshin once it becomes virtually unplayable, or once they start releasing doubles of the same character, whichever comes first.

tldr; natlan powercreep needs to end and i really hope they don't fumble any more characters like they did citlali, but ultimately i still really like genshin and want to know where it is going.

anyway, if you got to the end of this long ass post i would love to know what you think and I would LOVE to talk about genshin i will do it until the sun comes up in the west. please talk to me about genshin

[lovemyromance]

You know that scene in the Jim Carey grinch when he yells “I’m an Idiot” into the cave and the echo says “You’re an idiot!” back at him instead? I feel like that is the glenriel echo chamber in a nutshell. THAT is the real take away from the fated mates quiz that was posted today.

I think the issue in this fandom is that people tend to take things very, very personally. Ive seen it on all sides, but it's especially prevalent when we take a look at some of these Gwynriel theories. Gwyn became a self insert character for many because she's just vague and secondary enough that she has no real flaws and is not very complex or fleshed out. She does a few brave things and is generally kind and pretty - and people just latched on.

Any idea that Gwyn isn't a main character, any mention of the lightsinger theory, any whisper even that Gwynriel isn't backed by evidence from the books - that is something they are going to take very personally. Because even if objectively, all those things are true, these people are using Gwyn as a self insert. So they are hearing people say:

"Gwyn is not an MC" = "you're not a main character"

"Gwyn could be a lightsinger" = You're a cruel evil lightsinger"

"Gwyn and Azriel aren't mates" = "you're not gonna end up with azriel"

And that doesn't seem like something they want to hear. So they lash out, go crazy with their crack theories even more than before. They take it as a personal insult when it is just something that is objectively true. They accuse everyone of being anti Gwyn when they dont support Gwynriel when they are really two separate things.

I'm sure they'll find some way to spin this fated mates quiz anyways. Or more likely, the Eluciens will spin it because Lucien was an option and try to push the Elucien agenda, which the Gwynriels will hop on board for just to say "ofc SJM wouldn't spoil Gwynriel in a quiz 🙄"

That's what happens when you form a conclusion and then read the books to zero in on any scrap of text you can twist to fit that conclusion. When you read backwards, you form backwards opinions 🤷🏻‍♀️

People have got to understand that being anti a ship doesn't mean they hate that character. All I see Eluciens & Gwynriels do is accuse people of hating Lucien and Gwyn. Which is crazy. Nobody hates them, im pretty sure feelings towards these characters have only soured due to the insanity of the fandom, not the books or characters themselves.

And I've been very clear about this. For example, Lucien was actually my favorite character in ACOTAR. But when SJM stopped writing him, I stopped liking him as much. When Lucien and Elain were declared mates in ACOMAF - I was actually in support. It was only in ACOWAR did I see how unsuited they were for each other that I realized I don't think this ship is endgame. I reached that conclusion without hating Lucien or Elain - imagine that?

Furthermore, I actually got Lucien in that fated mates quiz. And I was not surprised nor was I disappointed by the answer. It tracks. If I were to go for a man, it would definitely be someone like Lucien. Even my current boyfriend has the same kind of traits as Lucien (dry wit, snarky, but able to switch to polite and charming at the drop of a hat).

But that's the important distinction. I, personally, would go for a man like Lucien. But I am not Elain.

And I know that. I am able to objectively read these books and form accurate conclusions because I don't let my personal preferences cloud my judgement of what is on the actual page.

I might personally prefer a man like Lucien, but Elain clearly does not. She wants nothing to do with him.

And if people were able to stop with the self-inserts and obsessions over fictional men, they would be able to read these books with a clear mind. The way they were meant to be read.

[rowans-thoughts]

Is it late? Yes... do I care? No.

Anyways I had this haikaveh headcanon that I must share.

Alhaitham comes home one day and to his surprise there is a random cat in his home, followed by a kaveh running into the living room since he heard alhaithams arrival.

"alhaitham I swear I can explain!!"

Alhaitham just looks between the cat and kaveh for a moment before responding.

"kaveh you can't just bring random animals into our home. Especially not without discussing it with me first"

Kaveh looks up at alhaitham with puppy dog eyes "but she was abandoned!! I couldn't just leave her!!"

Alhaitham sighs and looks at the cat again. "Fine... But if that cat causes any trouble it's out of here."

Kaveh is pleased with this turn of events and he decides to name her pita, because kaveh was eating a pita pocket when he found her.

Alhaitham always acts like he hates that they have a cat now be he secretly loves her. Kaveh sometimes catches pita snuggling up to alhaitham and him just sitting there petting her as she does. Kaveh sometimes complains that pita likes alhaitham more than him and that's it's not fair since he was the one that rescued her.

About a month later alhaitham is very used to having a cat around. But he comes home one day to kaveh sounding desperate as he says "now don't be mad alhaitham but I couldn't leave the poor thing out all alone!" There was now a dog in the living room.

"kaveh. you can't bring a wild dog into our home!!"

"he's not wild! Look he's so tame and sweet" kaveh says this while petting the dog on the head.

Alhaitham sighs. "Are you sure he isn't someone's lost pet?"

"well... No I'm not sure but what was I supposed to do? Leave him there?"

"kaveh... Actually nevermind." And alhaitham turned to leave without another word. Kaveh wasn't sure if this meant he was fine to keep the dog but a little while later alhaitham returns.

"I asked around and I found the dogs owners."

Kaveh looked up slightly disappointed. "Oh... You did?"

"yes. They're coming by in a little while to pick him up."

And so kaveh had to give up the dog back to it's owners. And alhaitham told kaveh not to bring any more animals home and kaveh slightly protested but ended up agreeing.

Not even a few weeks later and this time it was a rabbit with an injured foot. That alhaitham ended up taking to the vet, leaving them to do the rest.

The time after that it was a fox. And alhaitham scolded kaveh for bringing a wild animal like that in their home. This kept happening for months where kaveh would feel bad for any lost or injured animals he found and alhaitham would be the one having to actually deal with them.

Finally after yet another animal alhaitham had reached his limit "kaveh. For the thousandth time I don't want you bringing animals in here!!"

"well what else am I supposed to do haitham? I can't just leave them there when I see them..."

Alhaitham loved how kind and caring kaveh was but sometimes it was too much. But he knew no matter how much he tried to reason with kaveh that just leaving it up to fate is the best option that he wouldn't listen. And so alhaitham came up with an idea

"kaveh what if I asked the akademiya for resources to build an animal rescue center. A place where lost or injured animals can be taken care of."

Kavehs eyes immediately lit up at this "really?! And you think they'll approve it??"

"only one way to find out"

And so with that the project did end up being approved and it was named "pita's rescue" and now whenever kaveh found animals, he had a place he could take them that wasn't his and alhaithams apartment. And kaveh was allowed to visit the rescue whenever he wanted and he also would help out when he was there. Alhaitham drops by every now and then but he mainly just goes to play with whatever cats are there at the time.

(i came up with this because I was explaining kaveh and alhaitham to my friend and I was talking about the desert event where kaveh ended up helping the foxes to his own detriment. and from what I remembered I think he almost passed out trying to help them. And then I had the thought he would definitely be the type to bring home animals and so yeah that's where this came from, hope y'all enjoyed it!)

[adamnablelittledevil]

I usually just reblog here and don't speak much, but I've been reading too many different takes on this and wanted to say this. This is a Gothic horror about monsters, yes. You can't watch this show thinking is a Disney animation and they'll be basically perfect all the time. There's murder, physical assault, sexual assault, there will probably be incest at some point and more. Everyone that decides to still watch the show is willingly signing up for it. Nobody is forcing them to watch it, it's their call and they should recognize that. And, yes, the show isn't about moral codes and punitivism. It's about exploring the depths of existence and immortality, how high and deep down they can go, if they're condemned to suffer forever or if they can evolve, forgive each other, forgive themselves and find some sense of peace. If you want characters to be condemned and die for their crimes and mistakes, there wouldn't be anyone left to tell the story. Sure, you can still watch it anyway, because the writing, the acting, the score etc are phenomenal, but know that's not happening and that's never been a promise the cast or crew has ever made. Know that certain wishes for yours won't be granted. You can still have a lot of fun, but you know what to expect and that you'll never be fully satisfied.

That said, this doesn't mean the characters should always get a free pass to do whatever the hell they want and everyone should always accept it either. Even on the show, their actions have consequences, the characters get disappointed, hurt, angry, remorseful etc. They break up. They need to make up for each other and gain their trust back. Yes, they're vampires and their bodies and minds work differently, but they still have pretty human feelings and that conflict is one of the premises of the show. Not to mention how a lot of their problems are pretty human too, and stuff that hit close to home for a lot of individuals, so their audience made of real people will react in different ways. If somebody isn't counting the days to see rape, sexual exploitation, incest or any of these heavy topics, it's their right. They may even have traumas with it and, honestly, they shouldn't reveal their personal stories so people learn how to be sensitive and stop calling them weak or mocking them. But if people don't have problems watching that kind of content, or even like some characters known for such actions (focus on some because I don't know how they'll adapt them and if/how they'll be redeemable), that doesn't necessarily mean they support or do that in real life themselves. Perhaps don't make assumptions about strangers without having a pretty good reason to.

People have their own tastes, experiences, triggers and boundaries and they know what's good for them or not, when they can keep watching something or when they should drop it. And that counts for people of color, women, people who are queer, disabled, neurodivergent, part of any minority and/or have a history of being abused. You may be in one of more of those categories, but other people may react different and have different opinions too. People aren't a monolith. We can talk about it and this should be a healthy place for anybody that feels safe to talk and share their opinions and experiences. But if you ever have an impasse, you can mute, blacklist, block words and people. There's nothing wrong in respecting your own personal boundaries and you should never risk your own peace of mind for something that is supposed to be entertainment. Just don't go to people's Twitter/Tumblr accounts to bother them, change their minds or make insensitive jokes, maybe? It's really not that hard.

[thousand-winters]

My new obsession with toh is the very concept of witch ears moving with emotion that has to be one of the most ADORABLE things that the fandom could come up with like, I cannot stop thinking about it it's just so perfect and so sweet and such a good way to show clear emotion skxidjdnkxid in the interest of feeding this obsession, I would love to hear any thoughts you may have on the matter (especially in regards to Hunter and/or Darius and our boy's brand of speculated 'tism) <3<3<3

Oh, I love that headcanon so much. I think it's also fun when people play with the possibility of Hunter's ears being particularly expressive like that because he's a grimwalker so technically he's like a witch but potentially with some extra traits. Alhough that's probably not super uncommon in witches that also have demon blood anyway, which does work on his favor.

There's also the extra added layer that Hunter doesn't seem to be great at masking what he's feeling, ironically, since he used to wear a mask most of the time, and though that reflects the most on his facial expressions, it absolutely would as well on his ears (considering Labyrinth Runners and Thanks to Them, honestly he does seem to show emotions on his ears from time to time 😭).

I can imagine people at the Emperor's Coven being especially good at hiding this because, well, one has to be when they're on a place so full of backstabbing and people taking advantage of each other, so the first time Darius sees Hunter's ears move during one of their sewing lessons, he's kinda surprised.

He's unsure about if he should tell him or not, but he figures Hunter must already know and he does wear his mask most of the time anyway, right? So he's probably fine. Besides, he doesn't want to make him feel self-conscious and like he has to be stoic during the time they spend together as if this were any kind of formal training.

But it's... a little painful sometimes. The first time Hunter makes a bad mistake in his stitches and fears Darius' retailation, Darius can see how his ears just pull back in fear until he speaks to him gently and lets him know there's nothing wrong with fumbling a little, that's what learning is supposed to entail after all. When Darius tells him that he's going to be busy with his duties this week and they'll have to postpone their next lesson until the following week, Hunter's ears drop down in disappointment, despite his best attempts at pretending he wasn't looking forward to this as much as Darius himself even if he hasn't admitted to it.

Strangely enough, it's not less troubling for Darius when Hunter shows his positive emotions through them.

Darius pats his head and his ears flutter a little even as Hunter looks surprised; it's clearly something he's not used to but something that makes him happy regardless. His ears rise upwards slightly when he's offered praise or when Darius offers him some snacks he totally didn't get for him so Hunter wouldn't be going hungry due to lack of time.

It's just so painfully easy to read him like this and it's clear that if Darius, who hasn't been interacting with him closely for that long, can tell what he's feeling, then someone who presumably should be looking out for Hunter's wellbeing would know it even better. Not that he needed any proof of that but Hunter is just... so visibly miserable most of the time and Belos more than care about it even seems to encourage it. The only thing Darius can tell himself is that eventually he'll get Hunter out and it'll be okay, Hunter will be treated right like he deserves.

Now once they're actually living together and when everything is over? Darius enjoys not only listening to Hunter ramble about things he likes, he enjoys seeing Hunter gesticulate enthusiastically with his hands in emotion and the way his ears flutter as well when he's particularly excited or even when he really likes the affection he's receiving. Even if he perfections his poker face, his ears keep giving him away and Hunter is SO annoyed about it, but Darius thinks it's the most adorable thing ever.

At some point Hunter is going to do that thing from that one incorrect quote and just cover his ears when he thinks they're about to give him away. Darius is so sorry for his reaction but first time he saw him do that, he just burst into laughter and Hunter got so red because it was supposed to help him hide not to be cute 😭

He gets some nice ear scratches in compensation tho.

[sortanonymous]

The Heroic Quest of the Valiant Prince Ivandoe is so darn good!!!

It's a shame that the overseas release of this show (which, yes, is from the Gumball staff) has been such a hot mess because it is such a fun time even just two episodes in! It has such a fun cast of characters between the main duo (WE MUST STAN BERT!) and the many one-off characters, the humor is absolutely hilarious, and there's a genuine heart and intrigue to the show and it's world that make it that much more of a great adventure! (Seriously, the second episode made me emotionally invested in the well-being of a giant chicken monster. What have the people at this studio been on for the past 12½ years and where can I find it?) The best way I can describe it is that it feels like just tiny drops of Gumball's tone and 2D character design style (which should be obvious), Monty Python and the Holy Grail's spoofing of fantasy tropes, and even Over the Garden Wall's variety in settings (okay, maybe not much like that last one at all in any other way, but I digress). Such a great start for a show that I will definitely be keeping track of, even if I wish it didn't air new episodes so freaking early. (Seriously, does Cartoon Network even want to have a hit show anymore?)

In fact, the weird and sad thing about CN being at death's door and having so few new shows is that the ones I have gotten off my lazy butt to see have still been so good, between this and Unicorn: Warriors Eternal (I know it was slapped onto adult swim at the 11th hour, but that's a CN show and you won't convince me otherwise, although I'm kinda glad [as] is taking it in if for no other reason than them not being allergic to Blu-Rays and decent scheduling). Admittedly Zaslav being Zaslav does worry me about both shows' futures, but hey, Unicorn at least has the armor of technically being aired as a show on the seemingly safer [adult swim] and the credentials of a legendary creator who wants to do three more seasons, while Ivandoe is apparently already at like Season 3 or something in Italy so at least I already know there's plenty more to come. Regardless of studio locations (or countries) and the company's fragile state, there's still magic left in Cartoon Network, and I really hope these two great shows are not the last we see of it.

Anyways check out new episodes Saturday mornings at 9 ET on Cartoon Network! Considering how good this show is and how bad CN is at marketing it, I have no shame playing the shill here.

Also apparently if an ex-animator is to be believed, Gumball Season 7 is coming out mid-to-late 2024 while the movie is on hold and I have no clue what to think. The way they'll handle that cliffhanger has just looked muddier by the day since it aired, but hopefully the show itself will still be as good we expected because wow I've missed peak Gumball! (Bonus points if it's actually as good as Seasons 2, 3, and suprisingly 6, instead of the kinda disappointing Seasons 4 and 5 although that's all a rabbit hole for another day.)

[classificationhell]

Woo! I have two thoughts today! Both to do with Ozzie and Fizz! What if they had a little that has a huge oral fixation and is constantly chewing on something. Even things that should not be chewed. The second one is more so wondering how they would handle them both having to go in for work. Like would they bring their little in with them or do they get someone to babysit? Hope you’re doing well and not overworking yourself with your stories! :3

Thank you and I'm doing alright. Currently tallying up the votes for the next Chapter of the Alastor fix and writing what I can. Should be out either tomorrow or the next day, Susan will be mentioned briefly.

Unto your question though, with the first scenario with the Little with an oral fixation there's the easy joke that they have something for them to suck on, but that's only for big them hehehe they'll try and keep a stock on things like suckers or gum (if they don't like pacis) or (if they do) Ozzy might make pacifiers that are specifically designed for the sharper teeth of the citizens of hell, something that can be sucked or chewed on with no issue. If it's mainly a chewing thing they would try gum, but if it's to the point that they're putting too much strain on their jaw muscles they'll try and see what they can do to curb such behavior, because while they want them to be happy and content they can't condone doing things that might hurt them or affect their health. They won't try and make them stop just see if they can find some therapist either in Sloth or a sinner that might have some suggestions on things to try instead (like maybe going to sucking instead of straight on biting).

As for the last one if for some reason they're regressed and they're both due to be at Ozzie's then they might look into babysitting, but they don't have to be on stage at the same time most of the time so they might take turns watching them in the office. If for some reason they both have to go to another ring for a little while and they don't feel comfortable taking their Little they might hit up Blitzø who might recommend Stolas since I feel like he wouldn't feel like he could watch a Little. If they beg, offer a could sum of cash, or Fizz pulls a for old time's sake then I feel like he'd say yes but have a 75 percent chance of calling Stolas anyway.

Blitzø as a babysitter is doing his best. They're watching whatever Hell's equivalent to My Little Pony is together, and he gives them sugary snacks and cereal as a meal. This would only work out if the Little is relatively easy-going and doesn't cry because their main Caregivers are gone. If he hadn't called him already the moment we started crying the imp would be on the phone to Stolas faster than you could say help me.

Stolas is a Caregiver and I feel like he'd drop almost anything to rush over if he heard crying on the other end of the line. If Blitzø called him before we came over he may be kind of disappointed that this wasn't the date he thought it was going to be when Blitzy asked him to come over, but he would cheer up seeing a Little. If they're upset and crying he would sing and use his magic to calm them down. Once they are no longer crying it would be a lot of playing or coloring, whatever they prefer, and Stolas would give them healthier snacks like seeds or nuts or maybe a square of dark chocolate and say it's a treat for being extra good. If they stay long enough to need a meal I feel like Fizz and Ozzie brought something, heck they probably had a list of things they liked and rules or whatever but Blitzø lost that shit five minutes after they got there, but Blitzø either ruins it trying to reheat it unsupervised or just plain forgot about it and Stolas ends up having to go get them something because while he eats cereal himself he doesn't want their meal to consist mainly of the sugar packed stuff in Blitzø's pantry.

Overall the experience was good and they might ask them again if it was both of them. If it was just Blitzø... well their Little had fun at least but it'll take them hours to calm down from the sugar high and they can tell from the unheated forgotten container of good in your bag that Blitzø didn't do much more than glance at the list they left him. Still, if they're in a pinch they'll call again because their Little told them all about what a good time it was.

[bcolfanfic]

“when all the stuff happens with jj (crosby’s oldest) and meadow gets pregnant curt handles all that (very) badly at first”

this feels in character with what you’ve said about curt and cros not getting along but 👀👀 i want more how does he react

badly. lmao.

but yeah i've kicked around a few versions of it w/ rachel and i think my favorite is him not even knowing they're involved till everything is hitting the fan. didn't tell her dads she was seeing him bc she knew they'd lose it (not just curt re: him being a crosby, him and croz aren't actually in a terrible place with each other atp. though it all more or less goes back to square one for a while during. she's around 22 and jj is 29, so there's the age gap too). and didn't really think it would end up being serious anyways. but they likeeee each other a lot, and by the time she gets knocked up it's starting to get more serious. (funny side bar- in a rare moment of kindness towards meadow before they really start to become friends, josie covers for them to sneak off during a big ol wyoming get together with everyone. *that's* when she gets pregnant, which josie never lets go lmfao.)

i think i've posted before about rebecca or jeanie coming to jj's apartment and seeing meadow so at bare minimum *they* knew there was something going on there. but they "oh, dear me" smile and nodded and kept their mouths shut bc they also knew it would be a Mess.

thennn she gets pregnant and whoops now everyone has to know /: she tells jj when they're parked somewhere in his car, he kinda has a panic attack and then drives them both back to his parent's house because they'll know what to do. already knows curt is gonna kill him and wants mommy lmfao. *jj*. you big baby. (he grows up eventually, don't worry).

but they go back there and meadow tells jeanie who sits down realllly hard upon the news drop. gets croz from doing yard work, he sees how panicked all of them look and is like ??? is something wrong ?? and poor meadow just bursts into tears. bless her heart. she is curt made over and has categorically been quite a bit of trouble throughout her life, but she's a good girl at heart.

after a lot of "well, um" handwringing jean eventually says she'll tell curt and ken they need to come down to the house because they all need to talk about something. bry of course bc that's her fuckin. twin sister knows what she's been seeing jj and looks sooo guility when curt and ken are halfway out the door and tell her the crosby's are being weird saying meadow's at their house and that they need to talk about something. very awkwardly says she's gonna go with them and curt is like ??? do you know something we don't ?? and she's like uh (: no (: just worried about meadow 's all (:. texts her when they're in the car and has to clamp her hand over his mouth when meadow texts her back and clarifies what's going on.**

curt, as you can expect, lossessss it. is very very quiet for a moment just looking between meadow and jj with ken's hand on his shoulder. then he ends up snapping at bry first bc he realizes she knew they were seeing each other- asks if she knew her sister was pregnant and she's like no ?!?!?!. meadow gets upset and tells him to leave bry alone, and that's when he really snaps at her.

gets upset telling her he trusted her more than anything, she's always been such a smart girl what the /fuck/ got into your head you still have a few months until you're done with college you had /plans/. he's yelling at this point, croz tells him he needs to calm down because the shouting isn't doing shit and then he turns that pissed off-ness on jj and croz. says a lot of really mean shit about how croz failed as a parent- he's just like you, just as fucking embarrassing. gets really cruel to jj too and him and croz almost get physical over it bc croz is obviously defensive of his son. (at least until curt leaves, he lays into jj hard after he's gone. is embarrassed alongside just being really disappointed in him, and it takes some time and tears for their relationship to come back from that)

curt regrets this *a lot* down the line when that baby is his entire world plus some, but to begin with he's very much of the opinion that it would be for the better for meadow if she got an abortion. knows rationally he can't make her do anything, but is out his mind angry at jj, doesn't want meadow with him, and thinks a baby would just derail her life in a way he really doesn't want for her. at his core all of his upset is coming from not wanting his kid to struggle in life, and his heart is in the right place- even the intent/impact of his thought process doesn't line up.

but that suggestion makes meadow upset because she doesn't want to do that and feels like her dad is never gonna forgive her if he doesn't </3. (which is what her and josie get closer over, bc josie gets wind of that and is deeply pissed off that curt is making her feel that way).

he eventually lays off that particular topic and things get less rocky with time. but it's hard and tense for a while. ken isn't exactly thrilled about it all either either, but him and curt also have somewhat of a rough patch in everything bc he's the main voice telling curt he's being way too hard on meadow. lots of little squabbles about it all, and lots of ken trying to get it in his head that if he keeps it up he's going to drive their daughter away for good.

this is getting 80000 words too long, but tldr fast forward meadow ends up having quite a lot of complications w/ her pregnancy and has her baby really early. the baby makes it, but to begin with its touch and go for both the baby and meadow. it's a hard road, and that's what really shakes curt out of the stupor he'd spent all that time in. and what makes him (very very slowly) come around to jj because he sees how much he cares for meadow and their baby when things are as difficult as they are.

**meadow little miss live texter. sends the big 2nd gen groupchat a crying selfie from the bathroom mid everyone yelling in the living room and that's how they all find out. little punks all immediately tell their parents too lmfao. ken does find a little funny when he figures out *that* is why him and curt both started getting a bunch of calls/texts from everyone. bc meadow is a little ridiculous and their kids are narcs <3

[blockgamepirate]

I originally started writing this post the day before the new people arrived, but in retrospect I'm kinda glad I got to see how the newbies settled in first

Even though my thoughts haven't actually changed

The thing is, I was excited for the new people (especially Niki and Tubbo because I'm biased) and I've been thoroughly enjoying watching them on the server, and for purely selfish reasons I'm happy for the people they picked

But at the same time I'm a bit disappointed that all the new people were either English or Spanish language streamers (well technically Niki does sometimes stream in German but not that often and it's not like she has anyone to speak German to on the server)

I know it was originally supposed to be just Spanish-English and it's Quackity's server and it was all about bringing his two communities together, meaning the Hispanic and Anglophone communities. And that's totally fair.

I also know that the Spanish and English communities are way bigger than the Portuguese and French ones, it's just natural with Spanish and English being much much bigger languages that are much more widely spoken

And yeah, I know that a lot of the original Spanish and English speaking members are inactive or have fully dropped out so it makes sense to want to replace them!

But still, I can't help but be a bit disappointed. I really was hoping it would be two per language

I guess I understand it a bit more with the Spanish speakers because they really did lose so many members. But did the English speaking side (which was already the biggest on the server) really need FIVE new people? (EVEN THOUGH I LOVE THE NEW ENGLISH LANGUAGE MEMBERS AND I'M HAPPY THEY'RE HERE)

(And yes admittedly at least three of them are fluent in at least one other language that isn't English which is always a nice change of course)

I just wanna point out that the French speakers have four people (no I'm not counting Kameto who showed up for one (1) day), and they're not getting anyone added

The Brazilians have five and they're getting one new person this week, which is a bit better but not by much.

Meanwhile, not including Dan, the English speakers had seven and got five more for a total of twelve people. Even if you leave out Wilbur Hatsune Miku Soot, that's still overwhelmingly the biggest group

I know I can't complain because I'm extremely biased in favour of the English language streamers they added! And they're good additions! And I couldn't complain anyway because it's Quackity's server and he can do with it whatever he wants!

But it does feel a bit unbalanced

I mean maybe they'll add more Portuguese and French speakers later? Maybe that's the plan? But then are they also planning to add other languages or just stick to these four?

idk

It doesn't really matter, and I really do like the new people despite all this. I just wanted to point this out anyway because it's been on my mind.

[daintyduck99]

lighting up when you see them and reggie x julie x kayla?

"You've got Julie today?" 

Reggie blinks as Bobby's words break through, faltering in his humming, but not his movement. Cleaning his equipment is as automatic as tuning his bass these days, all nimble but well-practiced motion. 

"Maybe," Reggie hazards. "Why?" 

"Because you're practically glowing, and you only smile like that when Julie and her girlfriend come around. I'm not blind." 

Reggie splutters. "Wh—I—I always smile!" 

"Yeah, but not like this." 

Bobby flashes a full-blown grin that's almost alarming to see on his usually stoic face, complete with fluttering eyes and a dreamy sigh before dropping the look. 

"Seriously, dude, none of you are subtle." 

For a long moment, all Reggie can do is blink at him some more, hands suspended over his work station like a puppeteer's.

Finally, he settles on replying with, "What?" 

Bobby sighs. It's his normal, long-suffering one, and he levels Reggie with a flat stare. 

"Come on, Reg. Julie didn't have any tattoos before you, and now she has an entire garden made up of your work." 

"Okay, so maybe she admires my art—" 

Bobby makes an exasperated sound.

"Sure, but they both really admire you." 

Reggie swallows. He lowers his hands, shifting on his stool, and looks away. 

"Bobby, it's really not—they're cool clients, that's all. Or, well—Julie is. Kayla's just a really sweet and supportive girlfriend." 

Bobby snorts. "Julie hasn't needed support since she got her first tattoo, and that was mostly because it was sentimental. You comforted them both just fine, if I recall." 

Reggie points the nearest pen at him. 

"Hey! Unlike you and Luke, I actually know how to comfort a crying girl. Sue me." 

"Can't. It would kill most of our business." 

"Oh—" Reggie tosses the pen, scowling when Bobby swipes it out of the air. "Why are you pushing this so hard, anyway?" 

"I'm sick of the pining," Bobby says, still deadpan, but he cracks a small smile as Reggie groans. "Dude, it has been forever. And I just want you to be happy." 

Reggie heaves a sigh. His heart lurches with it. "I am happy, B. Aren't I usually?" 

Bobby shrugs. "Sure, but you know what I mean. And you three act like—like you've swallowed the sun when you're together." 

And that's a sweet thought, but—

Bobby shatters his headspace again. 

"I can prove it to you, too. How's that?" 

Reggie's doing a lot of blinking today. 

Bobby just sighs and starts explaining. 

"Let me check them in. Fifty bucks says they'll be disappointed to see me, but they'll brighten up when you walk out." 

Reggie swallows. "And—if they do?" 

"Then I'll give you your fifty dollars back so you can put it towards taking them on a nice date once you're done with Julie's tattoo. She won't be a client anymore, so."

A smile spreads across Reggie’s face. 

"When did you get so smart, B?" 

He smirks. "Comes with being ace." 

"Comes with being ace my ass, you and Luke are the ones who took forever to—" 

Bobby's deadlier with his aim, as it turns out. The pen nails Reggie squarely in the chest, and he's still rubbing what's surely the beginning of a bruise, pouting slightly, when Julie's appointment rolls around. 

He hangs back, feeling only a little silly as the bell chimes and he peers around the corner, zeroing in on Julie and Kayla. 

Julie's got a small frown playing on her lips, and Kayla's forehead is scrunched slightly, but Bobby just greets them normally, pulling out the paperwork. 

It's Kayla who tentatively says, "Is Reggie okay? It's just…we've never…" 

"He's fine," Bobby replies easily. "He's just giving the design a final once over since it's such a detailed piece. I'll get you checked in and he should be out in a bit." 

And Reggie has to admit— 

The girls are polite with Bobby, friendly even now that he's addressed where Reggie allegedly is, but the interaction does lack something Reggie is used to.

A certain—warmth. 

When he finally steps out to greet them and a grin blooms on his lips, they beam right back, perking up rather noticeably. Blossoming rather prettily with those smiles and their fluttering eyes, and oh—

He tends to mix his metaphors, so he isn't sure who's the sun and who's the sunflower(s?), but he understands what Bobby meant when he said he's not blind. 

Christ, how could he have been? 

Bobby's kind enough not to say I told you so, though, and Reggie does end up using the money he lets him keep towards that first date—

Although Reggie technically takes both girls on as clients again a year later when he designs the trio's first matching tattoo.

[kitkatwinchester]

Oh Scott honey...

Scott trying to be Derek is the FUNNIEST freaking thing.

Like, he nailed the whole "forebodingly stares and then vanishes" part. That part was really good. You've got something going for you, bud.

But then everything else....nope. Absolutely not. XD

Because the thing is, you can say the lines all you want, but honey, the intimidation...it's not your thing. It's really not. XD

Like, when you're being all wolfy--ESPECIALLY when you're angry and/or protecting those you care about--you are ALL kinds of tough, and ALL kinds of powerful and intimidating and bad*ss.

But...when you're being your normal, human self...you're too awkward baby. I'm sorry, but you are. And I ADORE that about you, but oh boy...in that moment, I was cringing right along with Stiles ("Scott, stop. Please, stop. Just...stop." XD).

That said, despite the lack of his own intimidation, the one thing that Scott has that Derek didn't have is a Stiles, so, by default, I'm sure they'll find their own (albeit chaotic) way to explain this whole thing to Liam and make sure he survives the full moon.

And then Scott can be Liam's Alpha (in his own way, because you're an amazing Alpha all on your own, baby, and you don't need to be Derek to be a good leader--you're perfect just the way you are <3), and he and Stiles can be Liam's parental figures, and it's all gonna be perfect.

But until then....

(I've used this gif before, but now I have context, and it worked perfectly for this post, so shhhh.... XD <3)

Update: As a very quick aside, I really appreciate the parallels and set-up this episode is giving us for what I vaguely know (spoilers plus context clues) will be the next little generation while still keeping all of the characters true to themselves: the Liam and Scott dynamic paralleling the Derek and Scott dynamic, but being very different in how it's handled due to their different personalities; the Mason and Liam dynamic being similar to the Scott and Stiles dynamic, but being hugely different in that (as far as I know) Mason doesn't find out about the werewolf thing for a WHILE; just based on that one interaction I saw, Garrett being a parallel for Jackson in a lot of ways. I feel like I can see all of that coming, and I can see what they're setting up, and they're doing a really good job with it, and I like it a lot. <3

Update Part 2: Re-watching that scene one more time to overanalyze the Sciles like I always do and I just... The way they're both there and, like, corner Liam. The way that Stiles gives Scott that little encouraging nod and then immediately drops his head in disappointment once Scott starts talking. The way Scott is trying so hard, but even he clearly doesn't believe himself. The way that, even when Stiles is scolding Scott and telling him to shut up, he still gives him that little supportive shoulder pat in this "A for effort, bud" when he crosses over to him. The way that Stiles looks like he's gonna blame Scott for the whole thing, but then fully acknowledges that he was an accomplice, because you know he always will be ("Just to clarify, Scott kidnapped you, okay? I...aided and abetted." XD). The way that Liam so confidently says that nothing's happening (because clearly he's fine if the GIANT BITE WOUND he had just healed magically, right? *raises an eyebrow at Liam*) and Scott and Stiles have matching "oh boy" expressions on their faces. The way that they both look at each other after with this "yeah we've got our work cut out for us with this one" after Liam walks away. XD Add to that Stiles calling Liam a "little runt" and I just... I JUST LOVE THEM OKAY?! LITERALLY THE BEST!! <3 <3 Anyways. XD <3

[hulijingemperor2]

Zixuan: *still on bedrest*

Yao: you did well, Zishie.

Zixuan: thanks Foxy.

Yanli: *holding the twins* A-Yao, hold them nah.

Yao: sure.

Rusong: aww they're so cute!

Yao: really precious.

Ruxuan, Ruming! I'm your uncle Foxy.

Yanli: and Xuan is mama bird.

Zixuan: *pouts* A-li.

Zixuan: I hope our children gets close to their uncle Foxy. Because they'll be around him a lot.

Yanli: they certainly will. And A-Yao would pamper them with gifts!

He already had A-ling pretty spoilt.

Jinling: I'm not spoilt by Xiao shushu. He just buys me things.

Yao: yea.

I must buy things for A-ling. And A-Song too!!

Yanli: I see.

Ruhua grabs Jinling's hair stick and threw it on the floor.

Jinling: Huahua! My crystal hair stick!

Rusong: how did it snap in two?

Jinling: it was a fragile type of crystal. Xiao shushuuuuuuu.

Yao: A-ling, A-ling. Don't worry. I'll buy you a set.

For you and A-song.

Jinling: *smile* thank you Xiao shuhsu!!

Zixuan: he loves to spoil A-ling and A-song.

As he should.

Mo xuanyu: Xuan gege, do you know how to change diapers?

Zixuan: c..change what?

Yanli: diapers, Zixuan.

Zixuan: ohhhhh. No A-Yu. I haven't changed one in my life.

The maids used to do it.

Xue yang: what a diva.

Yanli: so who's going to change the diapers, Zish?

Zixuan: and Huaisang is there.

He'll change their diapers.

When they're older, he'll be their babysitter but he has to undergo severe training.

Mo xuanyu: lol I agree. Where is he anyways?

Zixuan: gave him a vacation.

Because I want my twins to see beautiful things when they're born.

My babies are allergic to negative vibes.

Jiang cheng: *enters* I'm here! Sorry I'm late!

Yao: it took you long enough!!

Zixuan: *crying* Jiang cheng! Where were you!

Meng Shi: Jiang gui fei. What kind of conduct is this.

I'm very disappointed in you! You weren't aren't when my innocent little step son was giving birth.

You're married to two emperors. Act the part.

Jiang cheng: Tai hou and my emperor husbands. This wei wuxian was in lotus pier, and he used my sword~~

Zixuan: not in front the children!!!

Yao: oh my goodness!! How putrid!

Xue yang: wasn't bichen enough?

Su she: you have some freaky family members.

Mo xuanyu: *blocks Jinling and Rusong's ears*

Jiang cheng: that's not what I meant, guys!

He used my sword to cut lotus pods. Then the idiot dropped it in the muddy pond, so we had to fish out Sandu.

Meng Shi: and your sword is a mode of transportation.

Jiang cheng: yes! Taihou.

Meng Shi: why didn't you run or hire a caravan?

Jiang cheng: *facepalms*

Mo xuanyu: Jiang cheng, how could you.

Zixuan: what if I died during childbirth and my children became orphans.

And then my empire lost a super handsome and almost divine emperor with flawless skin.

Yao: and A-li would have sadly become a widow.

Then she would ask me to adopt the children.

Zixuan: it would be hard for them to fit in because they're not hulijings. A-li might become A-Yao's concubine, but she'll become more rich, and depressed cuz she misses me.

Do you know how it's like to be rich, depressed and a hot mess! And on top of that stressed?

Jiang cheng, do you see the ripple effect!

Jiang cheng: stop being dramatic. And look. I'm here.

Zixuan: I haven't had a drop of water or a grain of food, while waiting for you.

Because if I ate I would have thrown up. But read between the lines.

I fasted for you, my husband.

Yao: our confidante!

Zixuan: *sobs* consort Cheng. *sniffles*

Jiang cheng: jiejie. How do you deal with him?

Yanli: *laughing* just fine*

Jiang cheng: uhh.....are you done?

Zixuan: you have broken my heart. I don't think I can forgive you.

Yao: I'm very disappointed in you.

Jiang cheng: Zixuan. I made soup. Do you still want some?

Or are you still feeling nauseous?

Zixuan: gimme that, Jiang. You're forgiven.

Yaoyao!

Yao: poor baby has been starving from his fast.

Zixuan: Jiang cheng, I'm weak. Can you feed me? *bats eyelashes*

Jiang cheng: sure.

How are you feeling now?

Zixuan: I'm still sore.

Jiang cheng: now what did you name them?

Zixuan: Ruxuan and Ruming.

Jiang cheng: sounds ok.

Zixuan: be a little enthusiastic, nah. They're royalty.

They came out from my~~ what's the word?

Xue yang: royal Zishussy.

Zixuan: yea.

Jiang cheng: noted.

Zixuan: A-Yao will let you hold them.

~~~

Next day..

Around midday, a group of beautiful young ladies, all holding fans in their hands,  came to meet their dowager empress Shi.

Greetings taihou.

Meng Shi: greetings darlings. Rise please.

Someone from in front of the crowd: I'm Xu.

And I'm Lu Wan.

We're all aristocratic fox spirits.

Meng Shi: ohh, pleasure to meet you. What brings you here?

We want to see Dianxia!

Also we would love to marry him.

Taihou, I'm good at calligraphy and painting.

And I'm good at poetry and playing the Qin.

Meng Shi: *giggles daintily* excellent.

I always dreamt of Songsong getting a girlfriend, and settling. But then my Songsong is the one who must make the decision right. Why don't you go meet him?

Ladies: *squealing*

*goes to rush outside*

Meng Shi: hey hey wait. You have to go through Huangdi first.

Yes Taihou.

Well we got to meet our inlaws right.

~~~

The group of beautifully dressed hulijing ladies confronted and bowed to A-Yao.

Greetings father-in-law Huangdi.

Yao: *astonished* father-in-law???

Oh gosh, you all saw Rusong, didn't you.

Miss Xu: yes Huangdi, and we're in love!

Dianxia is extremely handsome.

Huangdi are we perfect for future concubines?

Xu: I'll be Dianxia's empress.

Can we see Dianxia?

We miss seeing him.

Yao: hmm sure then. He's in the garden.

Awwwwww Dianxia loves nature?!

We love nature too!

Yao: mhm. He's taking a stroll. And maybe he's going to sit and play the guqin.

*squealing* omg!!! We love music too!

He's so talented!

Let's go look for him!

~

Meng Shi: Yao'er.

Yao: A-niang?

Meng Shi: did a group of ladies come to meet you?

Yao: more like they came to meet A-Song.

Meng Shi: *giggles*

Yao: did you send them?

Meng Shi: yea,. They wanted to meet our little Song'er so I let them. Wangzi needs a Wangfei.

Yao: you're right. But Song'er loves someone already.

She's A-Qing of Yi city.

Meng Shi: A-Qing? Beautiful. I would love to see her.

And why didn't this child tell me? Am I chopped liver?

Yao: *laughing* A-niang, maybe he's shy.

Meng Shi: oh my. This boy.

He's a handful, but a cute handful.

Yao: agreed.

Rusong: *walking through the garden while reading*

Xu and others: *confronting him* greetings Dianxia.

Rusong: *looking up from his book* oh hello. How may I help you?

Xu: Dianxia why are you so hot. 

Rusong: I...I was born like it.

Ladies: awwwwwwwwww!

Rusong: are you here to meet Nainai? May I escort you?

Xu: no no. We met her already. We came to meet you. *blush*

Heehee, how are you, Dianxia?

Rusong: I'm doing well.

Xu: you're really really cute.

And such a gentleman too!

Dianxia what are you going to do?

Rusong: well I was going to play the guqin.

Aww the guqin?!!!! We want to hear!! Play it for us na, Dianxia!!

Please! We would love to hear your music!

Rusong: sure.

Dianxia are you single?!

Rusong: well actually I have a girlfriend. But she's out if town.

Ladies: *disappointed*

Xu: is she even a beautiful hulijing?!

Rusong: no. But don't worry guys. You can still hang with me and listen to music.

*cheering* yayy!! Dianxia!!

We still love you!!

Xu: just saying, we can be better than your girlfriend.

We are hulijings after all.

Rusong: *laughing* I see.

Xu: at least she's taking good care of our Dianxia.

Rusong: *smile*

Ladies: *squealing* dimples!!!!!

Rusong: shall we?

Ahhh right behind you.

Rusong: would you like some flowers? Feel free to pick some from the garden.

You're so kind Wangzi.

Rusong: maybe if you like a certain flower, you can make a bouquet out of them.

Awww!

Anything to remember you by.

You're hella handsome.

Rusong: *laughs slightly* thanks.

I have asked my attendants to arrange tea and snacks.

Aww Dianxia, we were just here to listen to you play. You're too kind.

Rusong: well you're my guests after all.

Xu: so ideal just like Huangdi.

Rusong: us Mengs are known for our hospitality, and we hope that the empire does the same.

Xu: *melting* gosh, that's well said. But i love when your lips move.

Meanwhile, in one of the spring Pavillions~~

Yao: *having tea with Meng Shi and team dimple*

Meng shi: Yao'er, Yao'er, how is A-qing like?

Yao: very vibrant and energetic. Quite mischievous too.

Xue yang: she's a big simp too.

Meng Shi: oh. Lovely. Lol, a simp as well Chengmei?

Xue yang: yea. She popped out of me.

I gave birth to her.

Meng shi: *laughing* awww.

Yao: xue yang and Xiao xingchen are her guardians.

And they're all from Yi city.

Meng shi: ohhh I see. How sweet.

Mo xuanyu: we ship them a lot.

Su she: they make a good pair.

Meng Shi: that's good.

Xue yang: A-Qing is broke by the way, Miss Meng, so I don't know if that might be a problem.

Meng Shi: it's fine, Chengmei.

It's one's character that counts.

Yao: mhm.

Meng Shi: did you give her the thing?

Yao: of course I gave her the thing.

Mo xuanyu: *sips tea* what thing?

Meng shi: the hairpin Yao'er had commissioned for Rusong's soon to be bride.

Xue yang: I hope she didn't sell it by now.

Meng Shi: what?

Su she: it's a joke, taihou. Don't listen to xue yang.

Yao: she's good at heart, and she knows the significance of the accessories.

Meng Shi: oh good.

Yao: she has the same antics as Chengmei.

Meng shi: lol.

Anyways I need to talk to Mr. Dianxia later.

Yao: go for it, A-niang. He didn't tell you about his gf.

Meng Shi: exactly.

A-Yao, I think we should send her some gifts.

Yao: my same thought. And we can give some money to Xiao Daozhang as a sign of courtesy and good relations.

Meng Shi: yea.

Xue yang: what about meeee.

Yao: I'll give you candy, and maybe a new plot of land to practice your fierce corpse.

Xue yang: that's why I love you Jiggy.

Yao: *pats head* love you too, my little gremlin.

Later on, Rusong was walking down the hall, after playing the guqin for the fox spirits.

Rusong: why did Nainai send girls for me? That's so strange.

Oh right.......I didn't tell her about my girlfriend yet.

Rusong: I wonder if she found out? Guess I'll be hiding from Nainai for the while.

Meng shi: Songsong.

Rusong: *turns around* oh...hey Nainai.

Meng Shi: Meng Jin Rusong, the Hulijing Wangzi.

Rusong: (you know you're screwed when she or A-Die calls your whole name and title)

Meng shi: Dianxia *pinches cheeks* you didn't tell me about your gf.

Rusong: yea Nainai. I was going to tell you soon.

Meng Shi: baby Songsong, you're super cute. And I'm so happy for you.

A-Yao told me a lot about her.

Rusong: oh I see. The emperor of Hulijings and Kitsunes, Meng Yao Jin guangyao had let out my secret. *laughing*

Meng Shi: heehee yes. *kisses his dimple* secrets safe with me, Songsong.

Rusong: ok, Nainai. Today I'll spare Mr. Huangdi.

Meng Shi: but it's good that he told me. Because you wouldn't have told me.

Rusong: I would have, lol.

Meng Shi: *pouts*

Rusong: *hugs* Nainai. You believe your Songsong, right. Nainaiiiii.

Meng Shi: *pats head* I can't pretend to be upset with you, can I. You always put on that cute face.

Rusong: nah it's just that I'm naturally cute.

Meng Shi: oh really, Dianxia.

Now what did you do with the ladies?

Rusong: just got them some tea and snacks, then I played the guqin.

Meng Shi: lovely little Dianxia.

~~~

Later in the day......

Yao: Songsong.

Rusong: A-Die. Nainai was in her fox spirit matchmaker mood today.

Yao: *laughing*

Well you didn't tell her about your gf.

Rusong: right.

Xue yang: and you're a supermodel, so.

Mo xuanyu: who wouldn't fall in love with you, little Dianxia.

Su she: you have your A-Die's face after all.

Rusong: yea team d. And I can't help being cute.

Mo xuanyu: exactly.

[yellingintovoid]

I started thinking about calling my mom and how that would go. I haven't called her in a few weeks because I've been busy. But I also don't feel like i can tell her about it either.

I went back to college to get a Computer Science degree. I haven't told anyone but my husband, and I should probably tell him not to mention anything to anyone either.

But as I kept thinking about it, I noticed that I had a lot of thoughts and rants just starting to form, and I think I should write them here so I can see them later and just, idk, take them apart? Hopefully in a constructive way that helps heal me because I feel like there is a lot to unpack in what I started to think and rant to myself about.

Starting with why I don't want to tell anyone about going back to school. I was in college right after high school, obviously, and was doing a Web Design degree. I found I didn't like it, I liked the coding part of it but not the design part. But I didn't know what to change it to so I switched to an illustration degree.

Well that didn't work in my original college, so I switched to an online only degree from a different college, still in illustration. I love art and to draw, but it turns out, I don't like it when I'm forced to for a school setting or a job. Basically turning art into a job kills my creativity and motivation to do it, I love it, but as a hobby. But I kept pretending to be in school for years after dropping out of the online college because I didn't want to disappoint my parents. I don't know if they know, maybe they realized after a while, but as far as I'm concerned I never will tell them, and they only know that I dropped out after I started working, not years before.

But that is why I don't want to tell them about me going back. I finally realize that what I want to do is computer science. I have started my first semester and I love it so far. But I don't want the added pressure of my parents either constantly checking up on how I'm doing in school or telling me how they hope I actually graduate this time, since it didn't work out last time. Or how I'm finally doing something with my life and opportunities here.

Because that's how I feel they'll react. I'm sure I'll get the inital, "Oh that's great! I'm so happy that you decided to return to school and get back into getting your education! I hope it goes well." and then later, either in the same conversation or days later, it'll be "Oh I'm surprised you're still in school, I thought with work and all, you'd quit like last time." or "I hope you actually stick with it this time so it's not a waste of time and money." or "Why couldn't you just continue studying before? You were working then and are working now, so what's the difference? I hope you don't give up again when it gets hard."

Because that's what happens. I try something new, they complain about me trying something new because what if it doesn't work out, and then if it doesn't work out, I get told how I wasted my time and money and how they don't understand why I bother starting things I can't finish.

Of course, I don't live with them anymore, I'm married with my own house and a car and paying my own bills best I can. But damn, it makes them hard to tell them anything. I tell them about something fun my husband and I did, and it's like, "That sounds nice and fun, but instead of doing that, why didn't you save that money?" I can never do anything fun or nice for myself without it turning into a waste of money.

Am I in debt? Yes, 100%. Is the $20 we spend on a video game we both wanted to play/watch the other play going to solve my $1000 debt if I have to wait until Friday when I get paid to pay it? No it's not. Because it's going to be a late payment anyway, that $20 is not going to magically give me more than the $200 already in there. I'm not getting the $1000 I need until the end of the week, which is still after the bill is due. So fuck it, I'm going to spend it on a small thing that makes us happy.

But my mom will see it as a waste of money, tell me I'm doing everything wrong, and that this is why I'm in debt. And then she's going to nag at me to remember to pay the over due bill on Friday when I get the money. Like I didn't already set up a payment to go out that day because, idk, I am still an adult who knows what's going on, who she owes when, and will plan accordingly, even if the payment is late.

Its exhausting to have to talk to her about. So I just don't. I tell her everything is going fine. That I have no financial difficulties or that we did anything fun. We just stay home and maybe eat out once in a while because that's the only thing that seems to be acceptable.

But then when we legit have no money and she's all like, "Spend money on things I want you to spend them on!" I get stuck because I can't say I have no money or she's like why not, but I can't spend it so she gets annoyed/upset.

And that's part of the reason I don't call her. But there's more, here's to me splitting this up to 2 parts for my own readability later!