#because in her world everything is pretend

[burningembers91]

Powder Blue Dress - Cho Hyun-Ju x Fem!Reader

Synopsis: For the first time, Cho Hyun-Ju is living the life she had always wanted. But when you move into her apartment block, will she allow herself to open up?

A/N: This is my first time writing for a transgender character, and I really hope I've done her justice. I adored her character is Squid Game

Warnings: mentions of transphobia, low self-esteem

Cho Hyun-Ju had always known she was different. She couldn’t precisely pinpoint when exactly, but she’d always had an inkling that wasn’t like her family or friends. She’d tried hard to make a life for herself, to pretend that she was happy in a body that felt completely alien to her. She tried to build relationships, shape her career and mould herself into something her family would be proud of. But the more time that passed, the more she realised that she was living a lie. This male body, it didn’t suit her, it wasn’t who she was on the inside. She was tired of looking in the mirror and not recognising the person that stared back, she was tired of people not understanding how uncomfortable she felt in her own skin.

The day she told her family she wanted to transition from male to female was a day she would never forget. There was so much anger, so much shouting. She was ejected from her parent’s house immediately and told in no uncertain terms to never darken their doorway again. She had thought her friends would be a little more understanding, but they too started to distance themselves. They called and texted less, stopped inviting her out with them. She didn’t expect much from her work and wasn’t surprised when they fired her after she told them about her dreams of transitioning into the woman she’d always known she was. she went from being surrounded by a network of family and friends to being utterly alone in the space of three weeks. Hyun-Ju packed up and moved to a small apartment on the other side of the city. She put her past out of her mind and chose to look forward instead. She grew her hair, started experimenting with makeup. She took a job in a warehouse, picking up extra shifts whenever she could to bolster up her savings into order to pay for top surgery and the hormonal medication she needed. It had been tough, and she’d taken out several loans she couldn’t afford, but the debt was worth to finally be able to look in the mirror and recognise the woman she saw smiling back.

Most days were still a challenge; people loved to stare. She understood why though, she was a 6ft female in a dress who still had a six o’clock shadow. Hyun-Ju ignored the stares and the jeers, but life was so lonely now. She found the courage to go and shop in a boutique she’d passed a few times, buying herself a few dresses and a pair of ballet flats. She was desperate to showcase her more feminine look, but where was she supposed to go when everyone was pretending she no longer existed?

She ran into you in the lobby of the apartment block one day, and her world was forever altered. “Cute dress!” you exclaimed, admiring the powder blue cotton with lace details. “It’s absolutely stunning!” Hyun-Ju felt herself blush, and her smile was so wide it made her jaw ache. No one had ever complimented her style, not before or since her transition. She wanted to ask you out for coffee, but something stopped her. Just because a person likes your clothing, it doesn’t mean they like you. But she kept running into you, and every time she did you made her blush and smile all over again. It was you who finally made the first move, inviting her out for cocktails. You were new to Seoul, and the pretty girl in the powder blue dress made your heart sing.

The two of you became inseparable, and Hyun-Ju found herself able to open up to someone for the first time in her life. You were a great listener, and you never once made her feel invalidated or wrong. You made her laugh, and the two of you spent hours together talking about everything and nothing. You were the greatest friend Hyun-Ju had ever known, and she slowly found herself wishing you could be more. But you were the beautiful girl with the sparkle in her eye and the confidence of Beyonce, and she was still scared that you’d turn her down, that she wouldn’t be enough for you.

“You have a beautiful smile,” you told her one evening, after you’d spent the night watching a comedy on Netflix and eating your bodyweight in chocolate. Hyun-Ju didn’t meet your eye as she thanked you, and you wished she could see herself the way you did. She was funny, and kind and so beautiful to you. You wanted to tell her all this, but you were terrified of pushing her away. She’d been so open and honest with you, and you didn’t want her to think you were taking advantage of her.

As she said goodnight to you, and headed back to her own apartment, Hyun-Ju studied her smile in the mirror. She wished she could see what you did, and she wished she could tell you how much you meant to her. But a lifetime of hiding your true feelings had left its mark on her. There was still so much fear and anxiety of opening up. Sure, she’d told you about her past and her transition journey but opening up to someone romantically was something she hadn’t done before. She wasn’t even sure how you felt, and she could have the situation completely wrong.

As she climbed into bed that night, she thought of you. She thought of your melodic laugh, your perfect sense of humour. She thought about the way your eyes crinkled when you smiled, the way your floral perfume wrapped her in the sweetest of hugs. She wondered how it would feel to kiss you, to have you run your hand through her hair. As she looked up at the stars shining over the city, she had no idea you were thinking of her as well.

[hrtwayne]

Remember Me || Jenna Ortega

Pairing: Jenna Ortega x Wife!Reader (First-Person POV!)

Summary: Where you lose your memories, and Jenna promises she'll win you back!

Note: English is not my first language!!

Warning: Mentions of Memory Loss, Past Memories, and Kissing!

MASTERLIST | PART TWO

Do you know that feeling when you wake up and feel like you don’t belong somewhere? Like nothing you thought you lived through seems right? That was exactly how I felt. Early in the morning, when I opened my eyes, the sensation hit me —a sense of not belonging to the place where I was.

I didn’t recognize the room, and, most of all, I had no idea who the woman lying next to me in bed was. The shock only deepened when I realized we were both naked.

Weeks went by, and I underwent a battery of tests, but there was no answer to what was wrong with me. The girl who had woken up beside me insisted she was my wife and that we’d been together for about six years.

When the doctor said there was a possibility I might never regain my memories, it hit me like a deafening blow. Everything turned dark. I heard the woman by my side crying, saw my parents holding her, and all I could do was wonder how all of this would end. I wasn’t made of steel—I could feel her pain. It was as if a thousand knives were piercing through me while I listened to her sob through the night.

The inability to recover my memories, the emptiness I felt looking at photo albums, and the sadness that followed—it all felt so unfair. She shouldn’t have to stay by my side when I couldn’t even remember her.

Jenna proved to be sweet and understanding.

Through some conversations, I learned she was a world-renowned actress who had taken a break from her busy film schedule so we could try to adopt a child. According to her, we were still in the adoption process, which was quite rigorous.

It was clear she was doing her best not to break down or isolate herself from everyone. I didn’t blame her; if I were in her shoes, I probably would’ve lost it a long time ago.

The healing process was going to be painful and complicated—patience would be a virtue in all of this.

“Jenna, you know you don’t have to do this,” I said, sitting beside her. “This is hurting you—I can feel your frustration.”

“I’m not doing this because I’m forced to, Y/n,” Jenna replied, looking at me with a serious expression. “If I haven’t left, it’s because I believe you can regain your memories. Don’t ask me to go, because I won’t.”

“And what if I never get them back?” My voice came out slow, as if my body were trying to warn me of something.

“Then I’ll just have to win you over like I did the first time,” Jenna said, watching my cheeks turn a deep shade of red.

“With that cheap charm of yours? I can’t believe you managed to win me over, Ortega,” I teased, watching her pretend to be offended. “Go ahead, try to win me over, Ortega,” I said, moving closer to her. “Use your best moves, and who knows—I might just fall for you all over again.”

“Oh, you can bet I’ll do just that,” Jenna replied, a mischievous smile curling on her lips.

[bwat5-blog]

Caitlyn & Violet: A Deeper Look

**Spoilers For All Of Arcane**

Recently I reached out to the community asking for some requests on angles/ideas/topics and so on that anyone would be interested in my analysis on. A few of you amazing folks responded for which I am extremely grateful. @phoenixlionme asked me to delve into a few points I have never discussed at all, regarding Caitlyn Kiramman, and the way she connects to Vi's heritage and past.

Caitlyn as a bridge between cities

Caitlyn's similarities to Vi's loved ones

Caitlyn compared to the leaders of Zaun (for Clarity @phoenixlionme phrased it as people Sevika has followed, this is just an easier way for me to approach it in my head)

So! to that end, I will be digging into these ideas and expanding my own insight into this wonderful character. As I am so fond of saying, good stories matter. And the continued exploration and discussion of this story and it's characters will help it live on. Thank you.

Caitlyn As The Bridge Between Cities:

When the story begins, Caitlyn and Vi could not be from more different worlds. Vi's life is poisoned with violence and loss, even witnessing the deaths of her birth parents at the hands of Enforcers. In that opening scene, they are monstrous. Emerging from smoke and shadow, dealing death and pain all hidden behind cold unfeeling masks. Her childhood in Zaun has made her a hardened survivor even at such a young age.

But in the sunny streets of Piltover, where Caitlyn has been raised, the Enforcers are smiling, happy symbols of peace and safety. Caitlyn is the daughter and heir to one of the great houses of Piltover. Her name means innovation, wealth and respect. She receives shooting lessons from the sheriff of Piltover herself. She joins the enforcers when she comes of age because the reality she has known has only ever taught her to view them as a force for good.

But of course as the story commences we see these two individuals from totally different worlds come together. Their realities joined in ways both good and bad. So let's dig into this further, starting with the simple stuff.

Vi-

Well to state the obvious, Caitlyn is love with the birth daughter of one of the architects of Zaun, and the eldest adopted daughter of another. Although Vi's place in Zaun likely feels unsteady to her after all that occurs in Season 2, it seems logical to suggest that during the reconstruction efforts after the war and during the restitution efforts towards her people she and Caitlyn's relationship will help bridge the gap in general.

Sevika-

At the end of season two, Caitlyn has given the seat of house Kiramman to none other than Sevika of Zaun. People have done just about everything in their power to pretend this doesn't matter. It does. It just does. I know there were people hoping to see the Piltover elite lined up and executed by firing squad, while Jinx reigned supreme over the flames and was served tea by a chained and forcibly blinded Caitlyn, all while Vi excoriated herself with a flail and sang Jinx's praises loudly for all to hear. But for those of us who were never fitted for our tinfoil hats, this is a massive step.

The council hold the highest positions of power in the twin cities. And now because of Caitlyn, one of them belongs to the undercity. She has literally created a link between the two surrendering her own families power and giving it to the undercity who have never had that voice before. It isn't all encompassing change because that isn't real. It's a first powerful step made by someone with all the power, to start bridging the divide.

The Commander -

Alright. Now we start getting into the more complex part of her relationship with Zaun. Caitlyn's arc is immensely complex and controversial and there is a lot of depth and nuance to this part of her story. I have written about this in HEAVY.. HEAVY DETAIL. So if you would like to see that I would love for you to check it out. But for our purposes here I am going to keep to the basics. Because to discuss how I feel the aftermath of this will lead to her having more of a connection with the Undercity, we at least need to go over what happened. To begin with, lets do a very quick barebones rundown:

Born in Piltover

Entered Zaun with Vi

Reentered Zaun leading strike team. Hunting chem-barons, Jinx, and Shimmer.

Becomes The Commander

Occupation Of Zaun

The War

The Strike Team:

Now, on a logical level only, the strike team did not do anything wrong. The Chem-Barons were dangerous drug lords. Shimmer is an absolute threat to all of the Undercity. And while there is obviously so much more to be said about Jinx, for their purposes they are hunting a dangerous terrorist who just assassinated three of their leaders. Yes. For logic based purposes only this does also includes the Grey. I have beat this horse to death, kicked it while it's down, revived it, and shot it in the head. I am not doing it again here. So I will just say that on a purely logical level, using a non-lethal crowd dispersal weapon on specific targets while hunting dangerous crime lords and a terrorist who likes things that go boom.... Not the worst idea.

The real issue with the strike team's actions, can be discussed in two points:

Caitlyn's motivation-

"Can I do the right thing for the wrong reason? Is it bad that I'm making friends with my demons, and Living by a couple deadly sins Just to make sure I finish what you began And I ain't afraid to lose a life or ten If it means that I get to win in the end (woo) So I'ma do this on my own, step into the danger zone Pull the pin and watch it blow

I would rather die alone" (Hellfire Arcane)

The problem is that Caitlyn did not lead her team into the undercity to liberate it's people. She did so for revenge. Each action pushing her further and further into her rage and pain. So even though her actions were "pure" her intention was driven by hate.

2. History with Piltovan Oppression-

As stated, the goals of the strike team were pure. And on a purely logic based level, the fan reaction to the grey has been hyperbolic to say the least. The problem is in the history. Uniformed Enforcers using a weapon that no matter how overblown the reaction does make people choke and cough and possibly pass out. It's all just too reminiscent of what the Undercity has been through before.

The Occupation:

So despite this being a massive part of this story, for our purposes here there is not a terrible amount to say. As very rough overview:

Caitlyn has become commander over the two cities during a period of Martial Law.

Ambessa Medarda rules from the shadows using Caitlyn as her scape goat.

All of Zaun has been placed under full occupation until Jinx is found. Dissenters are jailed, there are checkpoints, and it seems as though the Noxian "peace keeping forces" are being as brutal as possible. Therefore driving dissent and anger to even higher levels allowing Ambessa more time to achieve her goals.

Occupation ends when Caitlyn realizes how she had lost her way, turns on Ambessa, and the occupation ends in the days leading up to the final battle.

The issue of course is that Ambessa's part in this aside, Caitlyn was the face of it. And as I have said from the beginning, I am NOT attempting to absolve Caitlyn of her responsibility in what happened. Some portion of our fandom have essentially chosen to pretend Ambessa just strolled in, and offered Caitlyn the job of despot while they held hands and skipped through the torture camps together. You and I know better. But the people of Zaun lived it. And they don't have the benefit of having seen everything we saw and understanding all of Caitlyn's story. So at the end of the day Caitlyn is the face of the oppressive regime that made their lives hell for a few months.

How They Move Forward:

Okay. So tying it all together how could "Commander Caitlyn Kiramman" possibly become a bridge between cities with everything that has happened? Because they are all moving forward. I am not pretending that it is anywhere close to over. In fact as I said earlier when discussing Sevika it is just a step. But Zaunite and Piltovan alike saw Caitlyn almost give her life to end Ambessa. And the two cities fought side by side against the threat to all life that Viktor posed. So moving forward:

Caitlyn is married to a famous Zaunite.

She has given Zaun their first real step toward equality.

Her guilt is going to drive her to keep working to make things better for the Undercity. It doesn't take deep character analysis to see that.

She is a Kiramman. Despite her perversion of her families work with the ventilation during her darkest moments, she has all of that knowledge now. I predict she will keep working alongside Vi to find ways to make things right.

I know people have felt quite strongly that the show didn't do enough to resolve Piltover VS Zaun. But I think people need to remember that as insane and epic as it was, this show was essentially a prequel to our time in this world. There is so much more to come. Caitlyn is a young woman who has made mistakes, but I predict will go on to do great things for Piltover and Zaun both. After all, if the right hand woman of the man who unleashed shimmer on their streets can become their voice in government, and the feared and insane terrorist daughter of Silco can become their hero, maybe their former oppressor can become one of their greatest allies.

Caitlyn's Similarities To Vi's Loved Ones:

This is an interesting one! I honestly had never even considered this sort of thing but when I started digging there are many qualities of those Vi loves that are all collected with Caitlyn Kiramman. I'm sure you could do a massive list for this sort of thing so this is just some ones that stuck out to me.

Jinx:

The parallels between these two characters have become quite well known at this point and for good reason. Their intertwining stories are a massive part of this show and impact both of their characters greatly. But in terms of her connection to Vi, I have one I really want to focus on.

Putting Vi First: Both Jinx and Caitlyn go through a tremendous amount of suffering over the course of this story. Their stories are so in-depth, and complex and layered. And over the course of their stories, they both hurt Vi terribly (obviously there is more to it, there is a lot of nuance to these situations and I'm not dumping on Caitlyn or Jinx. Just staying on topic). But for two characters who are at one point almost sworn enemies, when it comes to addressing the pain of one they love, they are remarkably similar.

Caitlyn- So much happens between Caitlyn and Vi. But when it comes down to it, with Vi angry over Jinx's imprisonment and Caitlyn and Vi still far from totally reconciled, how does Cait makes things right? She gives Vi the choice. She clears the way for her to free Jinx if she chooses. Even knowing that that Vi could take Jinx and vanish forever if she chose, and Caitlyn would never hold Vi in her arms again. She puts Vi first. Even though it could be the end of her.

Jinx- Good lord talk about complicated. The relationship between the sisters is beautiful and heartbreaking in equal measure. There is so much on both sides, but when the moment I want to discuss comes, Vi has come to free Jinx from prison. Jinx knows that Vi has lived a life, consumed by guilt over everything that has occurred. Vi has never allowed herself to choose her own happiness for a variety of reasons. So what does Jinx do? She forces Vi to let her go. She locks her in the cell and gives Vi the permission Vi would never have been able to give herself. She tells her she deserves to be happy, to be with Caitlyn. Because in that moment of terrible sorrow even with all that Jinx is suffering, her eyes are finally opened to how much she loves Vi, and how much Vi loves her.

2. Vander:

Much like Vi and Caitlyn, at first glance it seems almost laughable to try and find common ground between "The Hound Of The Underground", and "The Leader Of House Kiramman". But if we really dig into it, the similarities emerge. In fact far more than I ever would have guessed.

A: Both do something they regret in a moment of deep loss and pain to someone they love.

Vander- We really are never given all the specifics, but whatever Silco became, Vander completely owned his regret and remorse over trying to take Silco's life.

Caitlyn- In that horrible moment after ventilation chamber battle, Caitlyn clubs the woman she loves in the stomach with her rifle stock and abandons her crying in the dark. I could write pages on the evidence of her remorse (and have written quite a bit) but you get the idea.

B: Both can see the truth of Vi's worth.

Vander- "You have a good heart. Don't ever lose it. No matter how the world tries to break you"

Caitlyn- "Despite it all I can tell.. you have a good heart"

This is especially impactful given Vi's struggle to see the worth and value in this part of herself as her story continues.

C: "When people look up to you, you don't get to be selfish.. whatever happens. It's on you".

Vander- At the moment he is in Silco's clutches, facing death. Vander does not beg for his life. He simply asks Silco to spare the lanes. Spare the Undercity. His self sacrifice continues all through the heartbreaking series of events that follow. Attacking the shimmer mutant, taking shimmer himself to save Vi, and blocking Vi's body with own during the fall.

Caitlyn- Now of course, it would be completely out of character for Caitlyn. But thinking about in strictly what is possibly, Caitlyn had just about any other option if she did not want to stay and fight Ambessa. Let alone on the front line. She knows she played a part it everything going so wrong, and rather than using her wealth and power to escape the fighting, she plants her feet and faces down the devil who almost took her soul forever. Never-mind the fact that she rips that knife out of her own body to help finish Ambessa, knowing full well that may well be the end of her.

*Caitlyn laying down her hate for Jinx in favor of her love for Vi works here as well*

Caitlyn's Reflection Of The Leaders Of Zaun:

Each of the three here have in some way shape or form been leaders to the people of the Undercity. And for a character who became such a figure of oppression to the people of Zaun, Caitlyn Kiramman shares a lot with all three of these figures. We have discussed Vander and Jinx. But I wanted to talk about Silco for a moment:

Finding "Strength" out of pain:

Silco- In the wake of Vander's betrayal, he reinvents himself. Believing only in the strength needed to destroy those he views as his enemy. Even if it means betraying every ideal he ever had.

Caitlyn- In the wake of her mothers loss and her separation from Vi, she becomes someone the old her would have despised under Ambessa's tutelage. Becoming a better fighter, gaining "control" over two cities, and learning to be ruthless. But in fact surrendering everything about her that made her who she is.

The Difference however, is Caitlyn sees the truth. Because of a variety of factors she sees how far she is fallen and that she has betrayed her belief and her ideals. She sheds her own blood alongside those willing to fight for her to protect all people regardless of the city of their birth. She finds the true strength that Silco couldn't.

Conclusion:

Sorry for the GIF-a-palooza but every time I think about her character her story gets me more and more. She truly goes through so much, learns, changes, falls down and picks herself back up. Thank you again to @phoenixlionme for this opportunity to delve deeper into her character and get me thinking in ways I hadn't considered! I hope some of this may lend itself to peoples understanding of this incredible character and if not hopefully at least the enjoyment of the show. Thank you to anyone taking time out of your day in this mad world to read the writing of a grouchy nerd like me. You will probably never know how much I appreciate it.

Keep standing up for stories that matter. See ya next time.

[mistressmxggot]

Chapter 7- ✰ The World Kneels to the Medardas ✰

"𝗧𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗿𝗶𝗱𝗶𝗰𝘂𝗹𝗼𝘂𝘀. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝘀𝘂𝗽𝗽𝗼𝘀𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗲 𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮 𝘄𝗮𝗹𝗸. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝘀𝘂𝗽𝗽𝗼𝘀𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗲. 𝗗𝗼𝗻'𝘁 𝗱𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀"

Tags: Degradation, whipping, collars, strap on

~The feeling of not wanting to leave the bed happened too often in this place. The darkness of the covers were protecting you from the outside, protecting you from her. Her lips were all you could think about. Did it really happen? It didn't seem real, or maybe you just didn't want it to be real. This had to be a manipulation tactic. You still weren't sure what her motivations were. Did she want something from you or did she just want something to play with?

The blanket beneath your hands stuck to your skin, sweat building up from the constant squeezing. Your body stung from the internal and external heat around you. You were waiting to hear Viv. She would be here soon, unfortunately.

Ambessa was an enigma. You were over always being confused and hot and annoyed and turned on and angry. The biggest problem was you didn't want to go back. You didn't want to go back to Malik, to the brothel. Babette and Sevika were the only parts you missed. The guys at The Last Drop were nice, sorta, just creepy. You missed the comfortable company. Viv was alright. She was a very nice girl. She reminded you too much of this place, of Ambessa. The thought of her was interrupted by her soft knocks.

"Come in. I guess," your shaky voice muffled by the blanket.

The sound of the door creaking open cut the silence. She padded over to the side of you, the sound a glass was followed by the door shutting. Weird. She usually spoke to you in the morning. You squeezed your eyes shut with annoyance. Oh god what now?

You slowly peeled the blanket from above you, sunlight stinging your eyes. Something felt off. Well everything always felt off here. It felt as if something bad was going to happen. You hoped you were just still embarrassed and paranoid.

Viv was at breakfast, she was just quiet. You talked to her, she answered. She wasn't particularly cold or dismissive, just odd. You hoped it was just you.

The morning was spent drawing in your room. The solidarity is what you needed. After lunch, Ambessa passed you on your way to the library. Her face was bare of makeup and her hair was wet. She must have come out of the bath. She hadn't passed you one glance. She looked happy. She might have had someone with her. God, why did you care?? It was none of your buisness anyway. Your eyes stayed glued onto her as she passed. You had promised yourself you wouldn't care or you would at least pretend, and you were failing at both. You needed to spent time for you.

The library was quiet and it eased your agitated mind. The books you dabbled in created a stack onto the table next to you, none having been finished. Whatever you tried, the thought of her seemed to always overpower it. A bath would do you good. You needed to take time just for you because you were worth it. You weren't an extension of her. You were your own person, with your own life, and your own thoughts. Viv had prepared everything for you, including all the products.

The steaming bath was filled with baby pink foam and sea salt and it was exactly what you needed. The bath warmed your muscles and softened your skin. You decided on shaving. It wasn't that annoying and it felt good to be smooth. You just wanted to pamper yourself. The bath lasted very long, promting you many times to almost fall asleep. It had to have been hours of relaxation and shaving and washing and exfoliating. You just sat on your bed, in your robe. You weren't thinking about anything in particular. For once, your mind was "empty".

When it came time for dinner, you prepared yourself to see her, although that always seemed impossible. You bullied a single piece of a bean, pushing it around your plate. Hunger always disintegrated when she was with you. You glanced at her a couple times. Her outfit seemed more...revealing tonight. It was a layed back gown, showing her arms and legs. Eat your food, don't focus on her.

In your night gown, you layed in bed, staring at the wall. You head was buried in the crook of your elbow as your feet nervously shook. Your thighs brushed together. You had to get out of here. You squirmed and twisted. It was always at fucking night you lost your mind. You shot up from your bed. You had to take a walk.

You left your room, the hallway mostly dark. This hallway was giving you flashbacks to that night. Rictus watched you pass her room. You slowed and then came to a stop. Weren't you going to go for a walk? You came to her door, glancing at Rictus. He looked back at you, eyes unreadable. You hurried past her door again and all of the sudden you were back, staring at Rictus. He looked back at you, eyes unreadable. The door to your bedroom slammed shut, your body slumping against it. Soon you were back in the hallway and then you were at her door once more. Rictus didn't look at you this time. You couldn't tell if he sighed or not.

"Don't judge me!" You whisper yelled at him and stomped towards your room.

Your bedroom door looked oddly similar to Ambessa's door. Rictus looked at you once more. This was ridiculous. You were supposed to be taking a walk. You were supposed to not care. Just masturbate and go to bed. But that isn't what you wanted. You whimpered and squeezed your eyes shut, head laying in your hands. Don't do this. Don't fucking- You knocked on her door. You waited and waited, your foot shaking. This was a bad idea. Go to bed. The door unexpectedly opened, her annoyed face infront of you. Your eyes ran over her body. You looked at her large biceps and her large hands, her plump lips and breasts, her thick thighs and wide hips. She giggled, your staring flattering her. Her head tilted and she moved to the side, letting you inside. You stood in the open doorway as she returned to her bed. She looked back to you, eyebrows raised.

"Yes?"

You slowly closed the door, your eyes looking back to her. She was lounging on her bed, and you approached her. You stopped nervously a couple feet away from her, not taking your eyes off of her.

"Do you want something?"

You gulped. She stood, taking long, heavy strides towards you.

"Sit."

And you did, the bed sinking underneath you. Her knuckles brushed against your jaw, her thumb finding it's way to your lips. You sucked her thumb in, keeping your eyes on hers. Her eyes held amusement, but also maybe pity? Disdain? She pulled her thumb from your mouth and forced to you stand.

"Follow me."

She fetched a key from her drawer, leading you out of her bedroom. Your anxiety hiked and your breath quickened as she stopped at the other forbidden locked door. What were you thinking? This was a terrible idea. She unlocked and opened the door, shame taking over you as your stomach coiled and you felt like folding into yourself. The room was filled with every nightmare you ever had, but they weren't exactly "nightmares". The walls were covered in chains, ropes, whips, and paddles. The tables are what really surprised you. They were filled with dildos of different sizes, vibrators, which many you couldn't even imagine how to use them, and collars. The size of some of those dildos made you doubt if you were even still alive. Y'know, maybe she had killed you and you were just in Hell. It had to be Hell. There a literal cage in the right corner of the room. It had to be for a human, it was far larger than a dog kennel, and you swallowed hard.

"We'll start small, teach you obedience."

She grabbed a collar and a whip. She was truly insane. The more time went on, the more she showed you, the more you began to regret your decision. After she had closed and locked the door, the two of you returned to her room. Viv had passed you two and you had quickly averted your gaze. You didn't to see her facial expression, it was too humiliating. She stopped you after you entered her room, keeping your back glued to the door with her body so close.

"Pull your hair back."

You slowly lifted your hair, holding it up for her. She hummed and smiled, locking the collar around your neck. It was red with gold accents, solidifying her claim onto you. You weren't exactly sure why you were doing this. You were horny yes, but you couldn't tell if that was what you wanted to satisfy. This realization made you squirm uncomfortably. She stepped back from you.

"Kneel."

Her thick voice was laced with lust, her eyes hungry. You sighed, begging eyes looking at her. You obeyed and dropped to your knees. The two of you just looked at eachother, you at her feet, her looking down onto you. You felt yourself pulse with need. You were so wet. She left you there and sat on the foot of her bed, clutching the whip.

"Come."

Your breath wavered. You felt lightheaded. Anger flashed through her eyes as you stood up and began towards her. She closed the distance and roughly pulled you backwards. Your knees stung as she forced you onto all fours.

"Ow!" You hollered when she smacked the whip against your rear.

She grunted in response. Again she was at the foot of the bed.

"Come."

Oh here we go. She wanted you to crawl to her didn't she? You were such an idiot for this. You sighed and kept your eyes to the ground, coming towards her. She groaned loudly, making you stop nervously. She pulled you back again, shoving you again to the ground.

"Look at me, and come."

The whip hit you five times, irritating you. Get out of this fucking room. Instead you crawled to her, eyes staring at hers. You sat between her large thighs and waited.

"Hm. Good. Stand and go sit onto the bed."

She came to where you were sitting and softly caressed you neck and jaw.

"Open your mouth."

She leaned down and spit into your mouth, a smile on her face. It made you moan aloud, your fingers playing with your nightgown. You greedily swallowed.

"Do you want this little lamb?"

"Yes please Ms Medarda." You answered a little too quickly and your cheeks grew red.

"Hm." Her eyebrows knitted in disapproval.

Two of her thick fingers yanked at your collar, pulling you roughly towards her.

"Do not call me by my name. It's Ill-mannered coming from an undercity whore. It will be mistress, understood?"

Her vile words should have angered you, but you knew they didn't the way you pulsed.

"Yes M- mistress."

"Good."

She gazed at you, her eyes holding some sort of approval or pride. It was probably pride.

"Kneel."

You sunk to the spot between her legs, and she sat onto the bed. Your heart beat faster and you uncomfortably shifted between her legs. She slowly removed her night gown and there she was. This was the last first time you saw her like... naked naked. She was just as beautiful as you imagined. Her entire body was so built. Her thick thighs ran into her large calves and hid her slick folds, covered in curls. You wanted to taste her so bad. Her tight abs moved with her breathing and you gawked at her breasts. You just wanted to touch her. Her hand grabbed at you hair and pulled. She pushed her hips out towards you, thighs spreading open. God you wanted this so bad. This was the best decision you had ever made. Your tongue ran over her slit and you moaned into her. All you could do was shove yourself further into her, sticking your tongue into her soaked hole. She sighed loudly and you continued to eat her. She was sweet and ripe like a delicious fruit. You wanted to do well for her, you wanted to make her feel good. As much as you despised it, you wanted her approval so bad. The suction of your lips around her clit made her groan and it egged you on. Your nails were digging into her thighs and you were practically shaking.

"God you needed this so bad didn't you little lamb?"

You hummed into her cunt and she laughed at you. Her arrogance, her body, the way she talked, it all made you more wet. You wanted your body on hers, this just wasn't enough. She stood up and pushed you into her, roughly fucking your face. She was soon cumming, moans rolling out of her mouth.

"Fuck yes. Oh god fuck."

You continued to suck, eyes squeezed shut with content and pure joy. The sweet juices that poured out of her were quickly sucked up by your greedy mouth. You drank her, your body tingling with happiness and want. She pulled her folds from you and you whined. This made her happy.

"I knew you would be the perfect toy." She laughed at your desperate face.

"This is the best meal you've ever eaten, nothing like the filth you can get where you're from."

God you were so horny. Every dirty comment she made just made it worse and that made you embarrassed. The embarrassment just made you more horny and this was a viscous cycle. You wanted to hate her, you truly did.

Viv's soft and familiar knocks were at the door. You quickly covered yourself behind her large leg. She glanced at you with a smirk on her face.

"Come in."

Oh lord. Oh no. Ambessa please don't do this. Viv slowly creeped inside and she looked at you. There was luckily no judgment, but her gaze held something else. She grabbed your jaw to turn your eyes to her.

"Go sit there, and stay." She motioned to a spot by the wall with finger.

You went, cheeks red and eyes on the floor. "Vivian come here sweetness."

What? Viv shut the door and came to Ambessa. They looked at eachother and Ambessa's hands roamed her waist. Are you fucking kidding me?

"Have you missed me sweetheart?"

Viv laughed. "Of course Ms Medarda."

Frustrated shame sat in your throat. Viv kissed Ambessa and her hands ran over her breasts. Her fingers tweaked and pinched her nipples. This was so frustrating. Why did she get to touch her? How long has this been happening? The things Ambessa said began to make you angry.

"Go fetch my favorite and come back." Ambessa handed her the same key to the room and they smiled at eachother.

Vivian left you two alone again. She didn't even pay you a glance. She just rested on her bed like you weren't even there, like she didn't just come all over your mouth. You let out a loud sigh that demanded attention. She just looked at the door, face unmoving. Vivian returned with a strap on. You glared at her yet she didn't even look at you. What were all those conversations you had? Was everything a lie? You should leave the room. Maybe you were being dramatic. Ambessa wanted you, not her. Right? Vivian slipped on and tightened the strap onto her hips. This was new.

Ambessa layed back onto her bed, thighs spread open. She finally looked to you.

"Come here."

Vivian sat onto the bed and you crawled next to her, still looking at Ambessa.

"Suck. Get it ready for her."

You glared at her, dumbfounded. She gave you a warning look and grabbed her whip.

"Do you need another lesson on obedience?"

You sighed loudly and looked at Vivian. She had a smug smile that made you irritated. Just get it over with and you and Ambessa can be alone. You crawled between Vivian's legs, gaze averted from the both of them. You sucked the strap into your mouth. The shame only got worse, and you began to question your entire life. You growled when Vivian pushed your head further down and you slightly gagged. She shouldn't be touching you, Ambessa should. She pushed her hips forwards a couple time and then pulled you mouth off, spit falling down your chin. You looked to Ambessa with watery eyes. She looked back with half lidded, a smirk on her face.

"Go back to where you were."

You returned to your spot by the wall, much to your disapproval. Vivian crawled to Ambessa and positioned the strap to cunt. Did you have to fucking watch this? She slowly slid in and Ambessa grabbed at her arms. You began to dissociate. Her loud moans filled the room, mocking you. Clapping is also what you heard and they talked to eachother. She probably came or whatever, you just wanted Vivian out of the room. Angry was an understatement to what you felt for her. You watched her leave the room and turned back to Ambessa. She was slick with sweat, panting hard, eyes closed. So....uhm...

"You can go now."

...

"What?"

She tossed the key to the collar towards you, along with the whip.

"Go put this back, and go."

You felt your chest get tight. She had to be joking. She opened her eyes and looked at you, clearly annoyed.

"Go on."

You stood up, your legs weak. You shakily held the key and left the room. There was a knot in your throat and your eyes burned. You stared at the floor, the walk to that dumb room felt so long. The key was left in the keyhole when you arrived. You yanked the collar off and threw it onto the table with that stupid whip. You hurried back to your room and you just couldn't hold it. You began to cry. It wasn't particularly sadness, it was anger and shame and embarrassment and betrayal. You were horny and frustrated. Again you were angry under the covers. You hated her. You humiliated yourself. She humiliated you. You were so beyond stupid.

The ceiling was your TV for the entire next morning. You didn't eat breakfast. No one had came for you and you were glad. If you saw Vivian, you would have torn her head off. And again, you heard knocking.

"Vivian for your own safety, go away."

Someone else entered, another girl. You scoffed at her.

"Hi miss. I'm here to invite you to dance."

"I'm not in the mood."

She sighed. "Vivian is not around. Come with me. It will be fun."

Y'know what sure. This bed wasn't making you feel any better, but dancing always did. You quickly threw something comfy on and followed her. You didn't talk to her or ask her anything. It just wasn't worth it. No more making friends here.

Finally, peace. You danced with her for hours. She was nice enough and alot more professional than Vivian. Laying on your back, you slowly breathed in and out. You would get out of here. You were going to leave, you didn't care what she said. It was decided. Tomorrow you would pack and use the left over money she gave to get home. This had gone on for far too long. You didn't want to run in circles anymore. You turned your head to the entrance of the dance room and there she was again, just like before, watching you.~

You. Always. Masterlist.

Ik i said this would come out sooner. I just love lying! I promise these next 2 chapters will be good. Still not the climax yet. More is to come (literally)

Taglist: @maaaaaaaaaaari , @ivorydevil , @trizxyp , @ambessaswifey , @randomstuffthatdontmakesense , @simplyxwwww , @last-dropsevi , @vffantasy, @fruitfulfashion , @trexsuit , @youngtastemakerfart

Lmk to be added.

[winchestersisterimaginessss]

request: can you do one where she’s breaking and she explodes on her brothers because they are trying to get her to open up but she doesn’t want to seem weak and scared. It’s not like her to yell or be aggressive towards them so they know something is wrong and it ends up in a meltdown.

A/N: Hope you like this! Requests are always open. Thanks!

Sam and Dean Winchester x Sister!Reader

The bunker felt like a suffocating cage, the walls closing in around you with every breath you took. You'd been holding it together for so long—weeks, months, years—but tonight, everything came crashing down. Every ounce of fear, guilt, and exhaustion, the constant strain of keeping up the facade, it all boiled over.

You were barely aware of the words tumbling out of your mouth, raw and jagged, a release of everything you’d been burying deep inside.

“Will you two ever leave me the hell alone?” The words exploded from your chest, jagged and ugly, as if you were trying to slice through the tension in the air. You turned, wild eyes flashing between Sam and Dean, your body shaking with a combination of anger and fear. "I don't need your fucking pity! I don’t need your damn help! Just leave me the fuck alone!"

It wasn’t like you to lash out like this. Dean and Sam both knew that. They had seen you angry, but never like this. This was different. The outburst, the harshness—it was as if all the years of bottling up every fear and every grief were finally coming undone, and they were getting the brunt of it.

Dean took a step back, stunned. Sam’s face mirrored that same shock. They knew you well enough to know this wasn’t you. You never cursed like this. You never screamed. You were the quiet one, the one who kept everything inside, who held it together even when the world felt like it was collapsing around you.

But now? Now you were unhinged, unraveling before their eyes. Your breath came in sharp, jagged gasps, and your fists clenched tight, but you couldn’t control the way your body was shaking.

"Sweetheart, hey," Sam said, his voice soft but filled with concern. "It’s okay. You don't have to keep it inside. If you need to scream, to yell, let it out. It's okay. We're here for you."

But those words—those damn words—just made you angrier. They saw through you. They always did. They knew you were breaking. And it made you furious. The vulnerability, the fear—it made you want to run from it. You wanted to fight it, to scream and shout until it went away, until you could pretend like everything was fine again. But it wasn’t. And it was suffocating.

Dean stepped forward, his voice low, trying to calm the storm inside you. "Let it out, kid," he said, his tone as steady as he could manage. "If that’s what you need, scream, yell, curse—whatever it is. We’ll take it. We can handle it. But you don’t have to bottle it up anymore."

It was too much. You couldn’t keep holding it back. You spun to face Dean, your hands slapping against his chest, frantic, desperate, angry.

“I’m NOT scared, okay? I’m not!” you shouted, your hands slapping his chest again, harder now, as if you were trying to force the words out of your body. "I’m fine! I don’t need you to fix me! I’m fucking fine!”

But it wasn’t true. You were so scared. The fear was clawing at your insides, and no matter how many times you screamed it wasn’t, the truth was still there, boiling beneath the surface.

Dean didn’t flinch. He didn’t get angry. He just... grabbed your wrists. His grip was tight, not painful, but firm enough to stop your slapping. You tried to pull away, to break free, but he didn’t let go. Instead, he held your wrists tightly, his hands steady against your skin, as if he knew you needed something to anchor you.

"Y/N...,” he said softly, the words filled with an understanding you weren’t ready to face, yet it was exactly what you needed. "I know you’re scared. I know you’re trying to fight it, trying to pretend you’re not. But you’re scared, and that’s okay. It’s okay to feel that way."

The words sent a shockwave through you. You hadn’t realized how much you needed to hear that until he said it. But even then, the rage was still there, burning. You didn’t want to be weak. You didn’t want to feel small in front of them.

“I’m not scared, okay?” You repeated, but it came out weaker, shakier. You tried to wrench your wrists free, but Dean’s grip only tightened. He wasn’t letting you go.

“Stop,” he said, his voice a little sharper now, his grip on your wrists unyielding. "You’re not fine. You’re scared, and that’s okay. You’re not alone. You don’t have to hide it."

Tears welled up in your eyes, but you pushed them away, frustrated with yourself for even letting them come. "I’m not scared," you tried again, your voice cracking with desperation. "I’m NOT!"

Dean didn’t answer. Instead, his hands slowly moved from your wrists to your shoulders, gently but firmly pulling you toward him. And that’s when it happened—the floodgate opened. You melted against him, your body trembling as the walls you’d built came crashing down.

You let out a strangled sob, and the anger dissolved into fear, into pure, raw terror. Your chest heaved as you collapsed against his chest, trembling uncontrollably.

“I’m so scared, Dean,” you whispered, your voice broken and small. It was the first time you’d admitted it, the first time the truth slipped out. "I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to handle it. I’m scared I won’t be enough. That I’ll lose everyone. That I’ll let you down. That I’ll lose myself."

Dean’s grip on you tightened, and he pulled you closer. His hand moved to the back of your head, gently guiding you into his chest, his chin resting on top of your head.

“I know, kid,” he said, his voice thick with emotion, soft but firm. "I know you’re scared. I know... but you’re not alone. We’ve got you. You’re not gonna lose us. You’re not gonna let anyone down. You’re gonna be okay, Y/N. We’re here. We’re here for you."

The words felt like a lifeline, like you were clinging to the only thing keeping you from sinking. Your tears came harder now, soaking into the fabric of his shirt as you buried your face into his chest. You felt his arms tighten around you, his heartbeat steady beneath you, grounding you, pulling you back from the brink.

And for the first time in what felt like forever, you finally let yourself be vulnerable. You finally let the fear show. And as much as it scared you to break in front of them, to show them that you weren’t invincible, you knew deep down that you didn’t have to be. Because, for the first time in ages, you weren’t alone.

“I’ve got you,” Dean whispered again, his voice low, steady, and filled with a quiet strength that seemed to seep into your bones. “You’re not alone, kid. You don’t have to carry it all on your own. We’re here. I’ve got you. We’ve got you.”

And somehow, in that moment, you believed him.

[salesmain]

personal update -- (cw hospitals + health stuff)

so I've been drawing a lot lately, mostly to distract myself from real life since it's been rough and drawing helps me not think about it.

I haven't posted or talked about what's going on at all because it was so upsetting. and focusing on DA and fandom instead helped a lot.

BUT my mom is finally out of the hospital and back home again. It was really scary for the last 10 days but we made it through and she's doing a lot better. and I feel so much relief!! (and because I know people will wonder since this is the first time I'm mentioning it: she was struggling to breath and apparently her heart is very weak and she also had pneumonia. it was a lot.)

anyway, I'm in a weird headspace. tumblr still sometimes overwhelms me so I haven't been scrolling much lately. also can't seem to write at all, but I'm hoping that comes back now that I'm not stressed out of my mind.

idk why I felt the need to post this. I guess sometimes it feels weird not saying anything, like I'm lying to the world and pretending everything is fine. but I'm a lot better now! and feeling more hopeful too.

[nameuserlee]

Sylus — Night of Secrecy 💋❤️

❤️- Screenshots -❤️

❤️ - Kindled scene below the cut + my thoughts/rambling -❤️

.

.

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Uhm. Wow. Just, wow. My sincere congratulations to Sylus and MC, the kiss card finally came and so did they, hallelujah.

I still can't believe this card is real, though. I'm genuinely dizzy, and I mean that in the best possible way. Because it’s sooo perfect. 10/10. No notes. Would swipe for again in a heartbeat.

I didn’t really know what I wanted their first kiss to look like. But I know that whatever I could’ve imagined wouldn’t have been nearly as good as this was. Now let me yap about this!

MC finally gets to bring Onychinus' leader to her place! After learning he needs a place to crash for 3 days before leaving for “business”, MC very generously offers her apartment as a safe house, both to keep him close and to figure out where he’ll be going since he won’t tell her (for her safety, of course).

And my god, these 3 days of them living together are the cutest, most domestic thing I’ve ever had the pleasure to read.

Shopping for groceries together, getting him his own pair of house slippers, him using (all of) her body wash. Sylus being in her space feels right, despite the smaller doorframes and treacherous bathroom cabinets.

(Grown ass man needs us to blow on his boo-boo. ADORABLE.)

But nevermind how cute this is, the situation is still unusual. Sylus and MC’s worlds kinda clash, despite how well they now get along and how much they care for each other. They are both aware of this, and no matter how fun this little play-pretend is, it’s going to have to end soon.

On their drive to the supermarket, Sylus prompts MC with a question: “When you’re in danger during a mission, do you think of anyone?” And the exchange that follows means a lot to me.

“But after my dirty work is done, I’ll wash my hands before going home.” I need this line tattooed across my forehead.

Sylus can’t leave his life back in the N109 zone, but he also doesn’t want to give up MC. And above all else, he wants to keep her safe. He tries to keep her away from his actual “business” as much as he can (which explains why he refuses to tell her where he’s going after their 3 days together).

If it weren’t for the N109 zone being risky for him to stay in right now and MC very conveniently proposing her place, he definitely would’ve found somewhere else to crash.

And so his best way to protect her while indulging their desire to see each other is to promise to “wash his hands before going home.” Whenever he gets to come back to her, he is not bringing his work to her. He will not allow himself to carelessly “taint” her life with his lifestyle. Very sweet, very thoughtful, very mindful (are we still saying mindful in 2025?) .

I’m gonna fast forward to their last night together/the kindled scene because I fear I could talk about every single line in this card.

Where to even begin.

BEST PROMPT IVE EVER SEEN ARE YOU KIDDING ME??

MC initating the kiss means everything to me. Thinking back to their first meeting, it’s him forcing her to resonate with her. Now, she’s pretty much the one who sets the pace in their relationship, which leads to this beautiful first kiss. It’s just too good.

“You really don’t want me to leave?” NO SIR SHE WANTS TO CLIMB YOU LIKE A TREE SHE WANTS YOU BAD and there’s no more denying it. She’s been worried sick throughout the whole card about him, trying to make the most out of their time together, and now that it’s down to the last hours, she wants it all.

And when things start to get heated, our consent king doesn’t only ask her once, but TWICE if she wants to do it.

And it’s soooo HOT!

In the kindled, he hopes MC hasn’t changed her mind, since she kinda nudges him away right after saying yes. He wants this to happen just as badly, but no matter what he’s always, always going to put her first, and so he checks in again with her.

Is this the bare minimum? Well yes! But I still think it’s worth noting. Especially if, again, we compare to how cold he was with her at the beginning of the relationship and how he was forcing her to go along with what he wanted.

Consent is sexy, asking for confirmation is hot as hell. 12/10 would smash again.

[di-daynamic]

I absolutely do understand and I agree with you on many of those things! I guess there's also the societal pressure to think of - for instance one of the many reasons Emma helps them out is that Jace being a Herondale mattered to her deceased father ("The Carstairs owe the Herondales") and I think a lot of people just called him Herondale despite Jace using the Lightwood name at that point of time. Also subconsciously - in both Clary and Alec's dream worlds Jace is called a Herondale.

Jace also thinks he doesn't deserve to be a Herondale - that's the first thing he thinks of when he says it's not his name - so I love that he takes on the name and dispels that thought-

“Not—my name,” Jace whispered. His blood felt hot in his veins, tightening his throat, choking off his words. He thought of the silver box with the birds on it, herons graceful in the air, the history of one of the great Shadowhunter families laid out in books and letters and heirlooms, and how he had felt as if he didn’t deserve to touch the contents.

The emphasis on family name is very much a Shadowhunter thing and I don't really get it either but I love to think about the characters in terms of it - Charlotte being Consul was the reason the Fairchild line continued through them rather than Branwell, and part of the reason Alec was so worried about his sexuality coming out was the Lightwood name I think, and Kit being less related to Jace than other characters but feeling like more due to both of them bearing the name.

I guess the demon blood thing doesn't annoy me so much because it is alongside other things - the reason Jace isn't like Sebastian is partly the demon blood, but also that he got to the Lightwoods in time--

“The best thing Valentine ever did for me was send me to you,” Jace added. “Your parents, sure, but mainly you. You and Izzy and Max. If it hadn’t been for you, I would have been—like Sebastian. Wanting this.” He gestured at the wasteland in front of them. “Wanting to be king of a wasteland of skulls and corpses.” Jace broke off, squinting into the distance. “Did you see that?”

I mean, Jace has terrible self-esteem so not to be taken at his word, but still.

The reason Jace takes the Herondale name rather than Montclaire is because he doesn't know anything about his mother - he had Amatis, his father's letters and later Tessa to connect to his father's family (also just patriarchy but you know). I also think that quote is more him saying names don't matter than that they do - he's just picking is, and specifies it's not to spurn the Lightwoods, also his family.

I've always seen demon blood as more of a propensity than anything, I guess? Not like angel blood makes Clary and Jace perfect people - Simon is Clary's moral compass quite a bit. Also the fact that Jace literally has demon and warlock blood from Tessa (do you think he could use James' gun?). It was because of his upbringing that Sebastian was really the way he was. He was also connected to Jace - I know he was the 'major' and Jace got his thoughts and feelings rather than the other way around, but there was at least a little in that direction too. He was able to pretend enough to almost fool Clary that all he wanted was to banish demons and be Valentine without the genocidal and maniac tendencies. In the end all he really wanted was Clary too. I think the demon blood being burned away just got him to see everything and himself more clearly - contrasted against Magnus meeting his demonic father right after this. The tragedy of the intersection of you would've always been like this and you could've changed but didn't is what TMI is to me.

Sorry this is rambling and a bit all over the place. And I really hope this doesn't come off as argumentative or anything. I do think Jace Lightwood Herondale is the best name for him, and your points about the demon blood thing are entirely valid. Thank you for discussing it, I love TMI and it's been far too long since I've had to think this in-depth about it (though the Clace and Sizzy University AU fic rattling in my head does help).

My firmest TSC take will always be that Jace should have gone by Lightwood in the end. I get that him being a Herondale makes sense in the grand scheme of the TSC universe (him, Will, James, Kit, and Edmund are all birds of a feather), but his personal arc is far more dependent on the family who raised him. Learning about his biological parents is of course important to him, but calling himself a Herondale doesn't actually feel like a resolution to his identity crisis. TMI is all about rejecting the hatred handed down from previous generations, which is why neither Clary nor Jace identify as Morgensterns. While Stephen was nowhere near as bad as Valentine, he also did even less to shape Jace into his adult self. Robert and Maryse on the other hand actually raised him for half his life, and Alec Isabelle and Max grew up alongside him as his siblings. He's a Lightwood in every way that matters, I don't get why Jace (in-universe) would choose to identify himself as a Herondale when there's nothing tying him to that family but blood spilled before he was born.

Anyways, I'm a Jace Lightwood truther for life, thank you for coming to my tedtalk

[your-gym-partner]

Gotta say, really love the little touch in the newest Barbie trailer where Barbie jumps back from the cold shower water even though there isn't any water

Because the water's pretend

Because the Barbie dream house doesn't actually have running water

[icantgetanythingdone]

I’m late af but oh gawd Hidden Love (偷偷藏不住) is so cute I can’t stop smiling and just sweet and they love each other so so very much. Greenest flag Duan Jiaxu and the sweet yet so strong Sang Zhi 🥹

[webanglikethat]

7B is everything people pretend to care about but don’t actually have the guts to talk about and that’s something you guys don’t wanna accept.

first off, it rips into racism, both for the LIs and the POC MCs (link here). in my opinion she has done a great job, especially with Lilian (here) and the Asian stereotypes. I love how it’s different for every route!

another major issue 7b tackles is the discrimination that non-binary people face. Ray, Jaynie’s best friend, is kicked out of their home for being non-binary. Ray’s story is vital imo because it doesn’t just expose the pain of discrimination and the affect it has on someone but it also highlights the power of acceptance !!!! because when Ray is rejected by their own family, the story doesn’t leave it just there. which langley could’ve done ! she could’ve just been like “this is another queer angst story bye”. but no, the story shows that Ray is loved and accepted by their friends, reminding us that family isn’t always the people that gave us birth. chosen family is a huge important thing

then there’s classism — talking about how the rich manipulate and exploit everyone beneath them, taking examples from Jaynie’s own life -> when she couldn’t afford food, when she almost didn’t make it into the university, how as a child she stole shoes cause she couldn’t afford them and she really wanted something like that etc etc. “the only faith my family shares is money” is a quote by Lilian.

7B also does grief really well. when talking to Tristan, Jaynie explains how she went from, "I can’t believe this is real" to "If this is real, then nothing is real." THAT is grief. it’s the whole world going dark because the foundation of everything you knew is gone. the person’s death takes the sun away. and then there’s the anger because she’s pissed at her mom for dying on her, even though she knows it’s not her fault. THAT is how grief fucks with your head: it makes you feel betrayed by the person who left, even if they didn’t have a choice, even if it’s death that took them away. and then she describes how she is in this grocery store, surrounded by cinnamon and eucalyptus (her mom’s favourite flowers), and finally she breaks down cause 1) her mom is never coming back and 2) she can’t even afford her favourite flowers.

and again, the story goes HARD on how Asian people and lesbians are objectified in ways that are simply disgusting and dehumanizing. if you romance both Tristan and Lilian, she tells Jaynie that her life isn’t lesbian porn, that she is so much more than whom she’s attracted to. Lilian’s making it clear that she’s not here to be the punchline of some cheap fantasy. she's so much more — and that’s the crux of the problem: people are constantly being reduced to their sexual preferences, their gender, or their race, as if those are the only things that matter about them.

AND THE ADDICTION PART?? are we just going to ignore that? Carter talks about how, when he gets high, it’s like peace, like safety, similar to how their grandma believes in God — like his mom is alive again and holding him. THAT’S how deep the pain is. LITERALLY COMPARED TO GOD AND FAITH??? it’s not JUST about the drugs; it’s about wanting to escape that constant gnawing ache inside you, wanting to feel something other than the crushing weight of grief and loneliness. and that’s the fucked-up part which is portrayed so realistically: addiction isn’t about fun or rebellion, it’s about finding something—anything—that takes the pain away, even if it’s temporary. this story doesn’t sugarcoat addiction. it doesn’t make it some tragic, romantic journey. it’s dirty, ugly, and desperate. it doesn’t ask you to feel sorry for Carter, but it forces you to understand just how real addiction is. addiction is a way of trying to survive when you can’t handle the weight of the world anymore.

Jaynie doesn’t have the luxury of just being a teenager anymore. she’s being forced to grow up fast and become something she doesn't want to be—an informant, a caretaker, a student under pressure, and a daughter trying to keep her family from completely falling apart. no one gives her a damn break. this is the realistic life of so many older sisters, eldest daughters.

what 7b does that no one else seems to be doing is really going after this issue head-on. and it’s not subtle — it’s angry, its loud, it’s in-your-face.

Confession:

"I still can't comprehend Langley wrote both VfV and 7B. 1st is one of the best books in the app with great variety and the other is.. That one trashy series from Netflix or smth about "TRUE" teens/young adults, like Euphoria or Riverdale"

[mofsblog]

Me when I get fixated on a ship so niche one of them barely has screentime and the other DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A NAME OR AO3 TAG AND HAS 0 TUMBLR POSTS ABOUT THEM 😭

[reflectionsofgalaxies]

.

[cuteniaarts]

Fanny, my sweet, beautiful girl

17.11.2012 – 14.04.2019

[lieutenant-amuel]

Calculating characters’ ages so they fit into the timeline of the fic my beloathed.

[lime-peaches666]

Good to know that you are incapable of being aware of what it would be like under trump, despite him promisng to actively make everything worse in to regards of everything you mention than biden is right now.

have fun supporting jk rowling tho