#because im a lil potato i swear

[dailyautophagy]

I tell people I have no piercings or tattoos but that’s only half true

I do not have tattoos lol but

I pierced my own belly button when I was 13

Then I got it done by a ‘professional’ when I was 18

And I haven’t worn a belly button ring since I was like 21

now im 35 and like a couple days ago I got a bunch of puss out of it and it did not smell nice lol cause you gotta smell the puss and see what’s up

And then tonight idk if it whiskey induced or what but I have metal flossing pick things and I stuck the top of one just a lil in to see what it felt like and I felt nothing so I was like no way this hole still exists so I put it in the bottom hole and kinda pushed up not even hard and I could see the tip pokin out the top hole like ???????? I put triple antibiotic on it I’m not fucking around with a belly button but like ??????? You NEVER closed? It’s been well over a decade since anything’s been in there are it just never closed???

Guess I can’t claim to have no piercings lol despite not having my ears pierced ever I definitely didn’t think I had to count a belly button piercing from 2008 but yo

I do lol

My bread is a tiny bit burned on the top which I literally knew would happen because it happened with the mf banana bread and still I did not cover for half the bake time lol whatever

It ain’t gotta be perfect im not selling it to strangers

I make mayo tomorrow tho 0.0 wish me luck lol i have an immersion blender and eggs and EVOO and don’t think I need much else

It’s just gonna be two turkeys and a ham and mashed potatoes and gravy and mac and cheese and corn and peas and like that is all lol two pies and mini strawberry short cake jawns for dessert and martinellis sparking cider for beverages and

The weird thing about being a considerate nice human is that yeah I thought about getting buddy the ginger beers he likes but literally fuck him he does nothing for me so I am gonna start doing nothing for him lol even though it makes me feel bad

Like I hate how being a piece of shit is contagious in that regard

I want to suck on penis and make meals and be a happy little lady but I have to do everything else so I get no like

Whatever lol

I’m thankful I have a whole house to bitch about this selfish clown in

I’m thankful I have a good career

I’m thankful I have a good safe home

I’m thankful I have a good smart sister

I’m thankful I have good happy kitties

I’m thankful I have good screen buds

I’m thankful I have good bud buds

I’m thankful I have good health and good genetics

I’m thankful I have good technology that shows me things I’d never find on my own (ie: Barbara)

I’m thankful I have good tumblr rambles to fall back on when I need to

I’m thankful Trump is president

I’m thankful I don’t watch TV lol

I’m thankful I had the self discipline to listen to all of Barbara’s lectures on SoundCloud multiple times. I swear I hear new things or make new connections every time.

I’m thankful for seasons

I’m thankful for everything I buy myself lol

I’m thankful for the gifts people who care about me gave me

I’m thankful for air purifiers and space heaters and humidifiers

I’m thankful for natural fibers

I’m thankful for clean air

I’m thankful for my amazing body that works beautifully despite my giving it literal poison on the daily for over a decade

I’m thankful I never got a DUI

I’m thankful my liver and kidneys still seem to work very well lol

I’m thankful my eyesight has stayed the same amount of bad

I’m thankful for my parents who are deceased but who literally couldn’t have fucked up that bad or I’d have been a stripper and I definitely woulda lost this house lol but thankfully father taught me that I had to have a job and thankfully mother taught me that I had to trust my gut instincts always lol and honestly my gut is telling me to stop eating after 7pm lol no wonder you wake up in the middle of the night

And no my faggot of a human doesn’t just wake me up for sex often lol but 100% that is what it was that day I was fed up to the extent of not saving face for his benefit and he deleted his lil tumblr about it lol because he knows he’s wrong for that

He just sucks lol like somewhat often

We laugh and we are passionate but goddamn he is inconsiderate and selfish and self centered and needy and

It is what it is lol

I want to feel taken care of with this man but he just doesn’t want to take care of me lmao like I said before he barely takes care of himself and rarely takes care of his kitties

Those poor girls are the majority of the reason I was like “you are moving back with me” cause he was legitimately paying $800 to have a 8’X6’ room in a basement with like a mini vent window only… that’s an oversized closet like you can’t make two cats live in there. Absolutely ridiculous.

And he’d rather be there apparently cause he’s just a piece of shit like as long as there’s internet he’s fine

And as long as there’s a screen to stare at aren’t we all fine

I want to be thankful for a man who loves me and provides for me and makes me happy but I don’t have that lol I can pretend I have that but this is one of the rare things that you can’t “fake it til you make it” with - cause only he can ‘make it’ and only i am fakin it.

No mas lol

I provide nothing anymore. The lights and the roof ain’t enough then go back to the basement closet thing. I can’t spend the latter half of my life tryna live for someone else lol you want good proteins and nice foods you can buy them. Nigga makes almost twice what i make and yet somehow never has money. Even i have money sometimes. Make it make sense

Make me sleep lol it MIDNIGHT ALMOST

Wompwomp

Good ramble. Sleep now. My dreams are neat at least lol life is not ideal but my dreams compensate 🥰

SO THATS THE MAIN ONE

I am thankful for my brain, and all of its faggotry

Can we get a curtsy emoji or nah

[rzyraffek]

Hey was wondering if you could do Michael Myers OG, Jason Voorhees, Bubba Sawyer, and Billy Lenz with a very strong s/o who can pick them up with ease. Please and thank you ❤️

yass i cannn BTW HI GUYS IM BACK FROM MY 2MONTH BREAK!! HAPPY FIRST OF JANUARY!!! YALL IM SO HAPPY TO WRITE STUFF FOR YALL AGAIN :D

You didnt say what pronouns to use so imma go with they/them!! Request are open! but prepare for long wait, cuz i have like 5fics waiting to be written

Slashers with Strong!S/O!! picking them up!!

Voorhees Jason

that the guy was flabagastered is a understatement

He went all blushy and shy!! I swear he would do lil giggle if he could!!

Jason is very happy!! He never been picked up, not only because he is a serial killer but also noone is strong enough! But they! They are! His s/o is so cool!

He will shake his hands in exitment and hug them laterz

Myers Micheal og

Before i start i wanna flex i got Micheal and Laurie action firugines on chrismas and they are vibing on my shelf (they are sitting together and behind them theres a colection of diosaur toys/figurines)(im super cool and epic i know no need to comment that i know)

Please give him a warning before they do so! he will get jumpscared and yeet them!

Man got consfused! like he bearly got used to normal kind human touch and now they are litteraly picking him up like hes a lemon-weighing shmol bean (micheal in size of lemon?)

He will pretend this never happend due to embarassment, like he thinks he is somehow less cool when he realised they can easly just pick him up

"Awww mikey pls forgor me, i just wanted to see if I can pick you up!" ">:["

Bubba Sawyer

ma boi turned tomato in seconds!

Is so cool!! How much stuf are they able to pick up!!

After s/o is done with picking him up, he will pick them up too! See?? He is strong too!! :D

He will try to convince them to pick Drayton up (maybe throw him somewhere pls )

Billy Lenz

(i missed writing about this silly goof so much)

Man is a raccon

He will instantly try to bite off they arms/hair/ whatever he sees

But if it wont jumpscare him, he will feel flustared and accually very nice! its rather calming to be carried by s/o

Please do it more! Especially while they are hugging and s/o just picks him up like bag of potatos and moves to other room or something

He will giggle and blush like little goof he is!

Also he is little prankster! He does a lot of mischievous crimes (stealing their s/o food) so imagine him trying to steal their food at like 4am and being all sneaky! Only for them to yoink him, carry him to bed and just continue sleeping!

[comfyswitcherblanketfort]

Okay so here's a lil' prompt for you

How about some rough foreplay between a jealous Geralt and Jaskier being all "fucking finally you dumb sack of potatoes"

my darling nonie, thank you for your patience, im sorry it took me so long to get my writing vibes back, but we're finally back in business!

Warnings: horny, lil bitey/manhandle-y but nothing past netflix canon consistent roughness, grumpy dumb geralt and jaskier doing his best to get him to use words, lol and swearing.

_________________

“You don’t scare me, Geralt,” Jaskier huffed, leaning back against the footboard of Geralt’s bed. They’d been sitting on the floor by the fire in his room for hours now, enjoying the warmth and reveling in the rest that the last few weeks of winter provided. Geralt, of course, had been getting a little antsy, ready to pack up and go, but also reluctant. So of course he had expressed this by being a bit of an asshole.

“I don’t want you scared…” he grumbled, picking at a hangnail and feeling a little bit like an idiot. He couldn’t exactly tell Jaskier how he wanted him, and that was probably the most frustrating thing on his mind that night. No matter what, he was going to keep the bard around as long as Jaskier would suffer his foul moods and emotional illiteracy. But it hurt to have him so close but so far out of his reach and he was constantly angry with himself for continuing to want.

“Then how do you want me? Hm?” Jaskier asked, flailing his arms about, expressing nearly as much frustration as Geralt felt, “Are you looking for a fight? Someone to hold your hand? Would you like me tied up instead? For fucks sake Geralt just fucking spit it out.”

Clenching his jaw, Geralt growled as he did his best not to picture his best friend tied up and desperate for him, “No.”

Jaskier got up on his knees and shuffled a little closer to where Geralt was leaning against the opposite wall, looking something like a praying monk, “Mellitelle, Geralt. I don’t think I can get it through your thick skull that I will absolutely not run and hide or abandon you if you tell me what you’re thinking. Even if it’s uncomfortable. Especially if it’s uncomfortable.”

As Geralt tried to find a way out of the corner he’d backed himself into with words satisfactory to the bard, he made the mistake of glancing at him. Jaskier looked like a romanticized painting in the firelight. His hair glowed in an orangish warmth and the low golden tones made his blue eyes sparkle even in the fading light. It really wasn’t fair. How the hell was Geralt supposed to say anything other than what he truly wanted?

Fear. Fear of rejection, or worse, of Jaskier, thinking it was some ridiculous joke and laughing him off like that couldn’t possibly be what has Geralt so worked up. That was plenty to keep Geralt from telling him exactly what he felt and thought. So he stayed quiet.

“You absolute-” Jaskier grumbled, almost to himself before starting in on a lecture, with animated hands and everything, “Here I am, quite literally on my fucking knees asking you to tell me what’s bothering you - which appears to be about me, so I think I have a right to know- and you just fucking look at me. What the ever-loving fuck makes you think I’m shivering my ass off in this haunted keep for, not getting laid in a warm castle - or even by your brothers down the hall- for anything other than a pathetic devotion to your grumpy ass?! Are you blind? Are you really so self-loathing? Do you just not care? For fuck’s sake, Geralt. Tell me so I can make it better because I’m not allowed to make the leap here! I’m not a sorceress! I can’t just probe your mind to-”

Geralt lunged, not a single thought in his head, just a frustrated need to tell Jaskier what he meant and an inability to do so with words. ‘The first leap..’ Fuck he hoped he’d read that right. If years traveling with the bard and constantly unraveling his riddles was anything to go by, he absolutely had. But the chance of rejection still hung in the air and pushed him near the edge of tears.

His hands gripped the front of Jaskier’s chemise and yanked him closer, so he was almost hovering over Geralt, and he recklessly mashed their lips together. Jaskier had to brace himself on Geralt’s shoulder and for a moment the witcher was terrified he was being pushed away. He was about to let go and quite literally tuck tail and run when Jaskier’s other hand laced its way through the hair at the back of his neck and tilted his head for him, deepening their kiss and adding a little intent to the passion.

Geralt groaned and hauled Jaskier up with him as he clambered to his knees, only breaking the kiss out of necessity but sealing their lips together whenever he could. He’d been given permission. After years of wanting and wishing and guilt-ridden fantasy, he could finally taste what he’d been longing for and self-restraint was rather hard to come by. So he didn't bother.

He crushed Jaskier to himself, needing to know this was real, not just one of his many dreams. In turn, Jaskier hooked one leg around his hips, an awkward position for the two of them standing on their knees on the cold stone floor, but it spurred Geralt on nonetheless. He lifted one knee so the bard was practically sitting on his thigh and rose to stand, kissing and sucking dark red marks on the bard’s jawline and neck. Without a second thought, he used his momentum to slam Jaskier against the wall, trapping him against his own body. Exactly where he wanted him. The bard let loose a soft grunt on impact but dug his nails into Geralt’s back regardless.

“Sorry,” Geralt murmured before leaving a set of angry red crescent teeth marks on the bard’s exposed collar bone.

“None of that, I’m in heaven,” Jaskier gasped, rolling his hips against Geralt as he rested his head back against the wall, “Fucking finally.”

Geralt made a confused grunt, not entirely too concerned with the conversation as he worked on untucking Jaskier’s shirt, clumsily and forcefully yanking it over his head.

“You thick sack of potatoes, I’ve been flirting with you for years. Fucking claim me already,” Jaskier gasped, gripping Geralt’s hair and pulling him back to him in a punishing kiss.

If there’s one thing Geralt was good at, it was following orders. And he followed this particular order with hitherto unmatched enthusiasm, in Jaskier’s words, “going above and beyond the call of duty.”

[drakenology]

Vapors - Bakugo Katsuki

warnings!: use of drugs (weed), smut, a lil comedy, fluff (cause im a cancer and we love romance in this house.) swearing because bakugo, Bakugo aged up (cause we don’t fuck children ‘round here), and sex under the influence of drugs. i also sprinkled some daddy kink up in here so...

author’s note: THANK YOU GUYS SOOOO MUCH FOR 100 NOTES ON MY RECENT POSTS!!! I really appreciate all the love, it makes me so happy to see that you guys like my work. Remember I’m taking requests and asks so please don’t be shy! here’s yet another bakugo smut because.. well, i’m obsessed with this man ok?? AND we need more stoner Bakugo idc idc idc. enjoy!

summary: Bakugo is a stoner and you’ve been kind of a goody two shoes for most of your life until the night you smoked with your boyfriend for the first time. 

It was a calm evening at home. You had just finished cleaning the home you shared with Bakugo as he helped by washing the dishes. You sigh, putting away the vacuum as you go and hop in the shower. You loved when he took days off of being a hero to spend some time with you at home. As you take your shower, you hear your boyfriend singing along to his favorite song; you smile as you hear him carelessly belt the notes off key. You loved his stupid ass so much. If you had ever told anyone he was a softie for you he’d probably kill you himself, but you still cherish the moments when he’s at his sweetest. You step out of the shower, drying yourself off as you dress yourself in a t-shirt and fleece pajama pants to keep warm and cozy. You walk out to the living room to a strong stench that completely caught you off guard. Bakugo was sitting on the couch, singing his song in his own little world; rolling a joint for him to smoke. 

“Katsuki! I told you no smoking in the house!” You nag, walking over to him. He smirked up at you, continuing to roll. He was in a really good mood today. He spent the day smoking weed and fucking his hot girlfriend. Even if she was a little uptight, she was fucking gorgeous and she had a good heart. Though he really wished you’d loosen your corset a bit. 

“Relax, shitty woman. I’m taking this outside. Just rollin’ up as all.” He said, concentrating on sealing his joint. He licked the seams of the paper, looking you in the eyes as he did so. He chuckled as he watched your face turn red. 

“You’ve never smoked before, huh?” Kastuki asked you, raising a brow at you as you watched him carefully roll his joint. You sat next to him, folding your arms as you shake your head no. Katsuki smoked, not a lot but whenever he had time to himself and you knew that. You never had a problem with it, you just never smoked yourself. 

“I’d never. I used to think weed was so bad for you. But you smoke it and you seem fine.” You admit, watching him hold a lighter over his joint to seal the edges. 

“Did you wanna try it with me? If not that’s fine, I’m not pressuring you to do anything you don’t want to, princess.” He said, cupping your chin in his hand as he gave you a small peck on your nose. You smile and think briefly. Katsuki knows that you’ve always been a goody two shoes. Ever since you two were kids, you were always so afraid to get into trouble for anything. He remembers when you cried all the way through detention for bickering with him in middle school. It was your first and only detention. You were so hysterical, it was as if someone died. You were just always so sweet and innocent. You never cussed or got too angry and that’s what Katsuki loved about you. You were such a calming spirit. Even though he was the complete opposite, it worked as you balanced each other out. 

“Okay. But just this one night.” You giggle, hopping up out of your seat. He stands up and walks to the balcony of your apartment, smacking your ass as you walk through the sliding door. You two were sat next to each other, watching the sun set over the clouds as he lights up the joint for you both to share. 

“Now I just wanna warn you, please don’t feel like you gotta keep up with me. You can stop when you feel like you’ve had enough. Okay?” He said, taking a drag. You nod, watching him closely to see how to properly smoke a joint. It had to be a science right? He takes another slow drag and blew out the smoke, passing it to you so you can have a hit. You take it and hold it like a cigarette, making Katsuki laugh as he watched his goody goody smoke weed for the first time. You take a puff, one that was a little too big for you to start off and immediately you cough up the smoke. Katsuki pats your back as he handed you some water to help your throat. 

“Idiot.” He shakes his head, laughing slightly. You lightly hit his chest, trying to take another drag. 

“Just inhale. You’re overthinking it.” He said watching you slowly take a drag. Sure enough after following Bakugo’s instruction, you blow out the smoke. You felt your body instantly relax, your eyes hazy and low as you watch Katsuki smoke some more. God, he was so attractive. You’ve never sat and watched him smoke before, he’d always leave the room out of respect for you not liking the smoke in the house. But with the way your body feels right now, you think you’d been missing out for sure. You take in his form, he was slouched in his chair with his legs spread out as he smoked. You felt yourself blush as you watched him, in awe of his stature. He passed you the joint once more and you happily took another drag. You loved the high you were feeling, the stars in the sky twinkling much more pristine as then usual. You become a little giggly, your first time being high just seemed so hilarious. 

“What’re you laughin’ at?” Bakugo says looking at you with hazy eyes, your laughter roaring through his ears. 

“I-I’m sorry I just- AHAHAHAHA!” You burst, hunching over laughing at practically nothing. Being high was kinda fun. Bakugo laughs with you, putting out the joint when he was done. 

“That’s enough for you, shitty woman.” He said standing up from his chair. You slowly stand up from your seat as you wobble a little, feeling your balance being thrown off by the influence of weed. He helps you inside, opening the door for you letting you walk in first. As a tradition, he smacks you ass as you walk through the door. You looked especially delicious when he was high, his pants feeling a little tight just looking at you. He plops down on the couch and turned on the T.V, flipping through Netflix as you walked into the kitchen. 

“I’m fucking HUNGRY.” You blurt out, looking through the cabinets for something to snack on. Katsuki froze, unsure that he heard what he just heard.

“D-Did you just fucking cuss?” He asked, completely shocked. Never in his years of knowing you has he ever heard you utter a swear word. He tried to get you to at least say “Damn.” and that never worked. 

“Oh shit... I did just cuss. Oh shit I just cussed again! FUCK!” You laugh, not being able to contain your foul language. It felt as if a huge burden had been lifted off your shoulders, finally loosening your metaphorical corset. Katsuki laughed. 

“What’s gotten into you, huh?” He asked sarcastically, standing up from his seat on the couch. He walked towards you to see you stuffing you face with every snack from your pantry. You had a seriously bad case of the munchies, crunching away at some potato chips. 

“We gotta go food shopping tomorrow. Ain’t shit in here to eat. UGH why does food taste so fucking good right now!?” You said, cussing with ease at this point. Bakugo inched closer to you shaking his head, snatching the bag of chips away from you as he started to eat them. You frown, grabbing some cookies instead. 

“Gimme one.” Bakugo said, grabbing the cookie out of your mouth with his, taking a bite from it. You blush as you chew your own cookie, watching him look down at you. You never really realized how much taller Bakugo was compared to you. You took your hand and wiped some crumbs from the corner of his mouth, kissing him deeply as you pulled him closer to you. Katsuki kissed you back, picking you up and sitting you on the kitchen counter. The kiss under the influence felt amazing. It was like time froze while you kissed, your lips combined feeling like electricity as you melt into him. You feel yourself getting wetter by the second, immensely turned on by this man. You tug at the hem of his shirt for him to take it off, earning a chuckle from Katsuki. 

“You’re horny as fuck right now, aren’t you?” He asked, leaning in to kiss your neck. “I can tell you’re probably soaked right now.” You moan as he left open mouth kisses down your neck, reaching under your shirt to grab and squeeze at your bare breasts. You feel absolutely blissful, your panties soaking at this point. Why did everything feel so fucking good right now? 

“Kachan~” You whine, trying to grind against him as he licked and sucked on your neck, pinching your nipples lightly. You feel as if you’re about to cum just from him playing with your boobs and kissing your neck, your pussy pulsating as you grab onto him for dear life. All the pleasure was becoming so blinding you never wanted this feeling to go away. Katsuki lifts you up again to walk back into the living room with you in his arms, sitting on the couch with you on his lap. 

“Tell me what you want, baby.” He said, nibbling on your ear. You moan, grinding against his growing bulge, taking off your shirt to reveal your nude breasts to him. 

“You, daddy.” You purr. Katsuki freezes a little, shocked by what you just called him. You were pretty vanilla so hearing you call him daddy turned him feral. 

“Say it again.” He demanded, taking a nipple into his mouth. You moan, still grinding your pussy against the tent he was pitching in his pants, running your hands through his hair. 

“I want you, daddyy. Please fuck me.” You whine, getting off his lap as he stood. Your obedience was turning him on so much he just had to have you, not caring where in the house he took you at this point. He slid off your pants and panties in one go, kneeling down to get a closer looks at your wetness. 

“Fuck, you don’t know what you do to me, baby.” he hissed, kissing your inner thighs. “I would eat you out for being such a good girl but I need to be inside you. Now.” He said, standing up to take off his pants and his boxers, his thick length springing out as he pulled them down. You almost drool at the sight, spreading your legs and rubbing your pussy as you imagined his length stretching you out. You were never this sultry in the bedroom, always having Katsuki initiate. But tonight, you had a hunger you needed to be fulfilled. 

“You’re so fucking sexy..” Katsuki moaned, pumping his dick a few times before grabbing your face to kiss you with tongue. He pulled away to grab you by your neck, the dominating look in his eyes making your pussy gush. 

“Bend your sexy ass over.” He growled, letting you go as you obliged. He crouched behind you and gave your pussy a few taps with his dick before sliding inside your slick folds. You have never felt this good. Sex with Katsuki had always been amazing but tonight this was different. You moan sinfully as you felt him stretch you out, his thrusts progressing as he fucked you good. 

“D-Daddyy.” You moan, gripping the arm of the couch for dear life. He smacks your ass a few times, quickening his pace as he grabbed you hair to pull it. You lean into the couch, one leg on the seat and one planted onto the floor, hardly being able to keep you stable as your legs shake. You feel your release come quicker than expected, you reaching back to rub your clit in harsh circles. 

“You make me feel so good daddy. Fuck, I love you!” You scream, pushing your face into your hands as Katsuki continued the assault on your g-spot. You start clenching around him, the sound of your moans and skin slapping together filled the living room as Katsuki starts to sweat, a caramel scent filling your nose. 

“So fucking sexy, baby. You gonna cum for me?” He asked, his hard thrusts causing you to see stars. Your moans are the only thing Katsuki can hear, unsatified as he pulled you up to him by your hair. 

“I can’t hear you, baby.” He said, fucking you even harder,  you not knowing that was even possible. You can hardly form a sentence, you responding with frantic yeses and moans and I love yous. He smirked, throwing you back onto the couch as he feels you clench around him once more. If he knew you were gonna be this frisky he would have gotten you high a long time ago.  

“I’m gonna cum, daddy! I- oh!” You shriek, cumming around his dick to Katsuki’s delight. He smacks you ass hard as he helps you ride out your orgasm only to quicken his pace again, chasing his own release. 

“Yeah.. ‘M gonna cum, baby. You ready?” He asked sweetly, kissing your back as he pounds you. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head, gasping for air to try and answer him. 

“C-Cum inside me, daddy. Oh god yes!” You moan, biting your lip. He did just that, a strong grunt leaving his mouth as he slowed down his movements, his cum painting your womb white. You sigh, almost missing his dick inside you as he pulled out of you. He picked you up and carried you to your shared room. 

“Can we smoke again later?” You ask innocently. He laughed and walked into the bathroom to start you both a bath. 

“Sure baby.” He said, giving you a sweet kiss. He pulled out the joint you both hadn’t finished as he led you into the bath. He goes to light it before looking to you to see if it was okay to smoke in the bathroom. 

“Fuck it.” You say, laughing as he lights up the joint for you to relax in your bath. 

[evera6234]

Gotham’s Salty WIP: Chapter I

RATING: T (Teen for cursing and stuff, this may change)

SUMMARY: 

Basically, the typical Daminette with a bit of lime and spice. Borderline crack fic bc i cant without humor. 

Marinette Dupain-Cheng goes to Gotham whilst carrying three years worth of emotional baggage, what she does with it, we don't know. Does she lug it around? Probably. Does she kick it off a skyscraper? Not probable, but maybe. Does she use it to drop kick an unsuspecting liar. Most definitely.                ~~~> EDITED BY OLLIETHETURTLE ON AO3

Transferred from AO3. 

Lemme know if ya wanna be tagged

OK. Umm.. First fic on AO3. K. We doin this, and we starting with this god awful piece of trash. Yes. Life. Fuck. 

Things ur signing up for:

Big boi Mari & Chloe Friendship Good Vibes TM

My ass shitting on Adrien bc im a salty bitch (and if u aint about that life, its ok. U can leave bc im not interested in fighting with people. No offence or disrespect to adrien stans but yea)

And Adrien stalker moments

Lila and Alya salt (plz see “im a salty bitch”)

Shitty update schedule, if any. I’m counting on yall to harass me to write.

Marinette & Jason “sibling-esque” relationship bc we all need that

An obscene amount of cursing (as you can already tell)

The class will not be  “Our singular communal brain-cell is fucking dead, help.” levels of dumb, but still “I have the IQ of a wet potato sack” levels of dumb.

Eventual negation of canon bc we live that life

“Espresso with a dash of Depresso” Moments TM

I'm originally an MLB fan. So do what you will with that info.

The good old “Ozmav AU” but with some lime and spice

As slow burn as I can

Mental Health stuff and the repercussions of having multiple identities treated completely differently

And the crown jewel of this entire fic… Auntie Harley and Ivy.

And….. sorry…. Ppl will kinda be OOC but im trying my very best. 

Tbh I have no idea where this going rn but... i mean… it going somewhere (specifically hell) because everything does. Leave ideas plz, don’t kill me. Just bully me. 

So yea. Lemme know what u want and if I want to, I might just squeeze it into the fic (if it fit ofc, im not just gonna add random 50 year time-lapses). I'll try my best ;)))) (<-- my quadruple chin)

~

Chloe’s head hangs heavy on Mari’s shoulder as the pressurised air surrounding them vibrates with the sounds… of well… a plane. Chloe had a tough couple weeks; late night combat practises with the new team (LB, Hornet, Viperion and Ryuuko) has obviously taken a toll on her partner. Both wrapped in a thick velvet blanket that Chloe remembered to pack (thank kwami) sharing a pair of headphones, both were lulled into a peaceful slumber.

Alya laughs as Lila tips her small glass of diet coke (that a flight attendant painstakingly poured for her) on a sleeping Marinette’s side of Chloe’s blanket, effectively waking her up. “Oopsies! Sorry Marinette! You see, the cabin air has really been worsening my arthritis. I didn’t mean it! I swear! Cross my heart!” apologized Lila with fake concern as Alya giggles beside her. 

Marinette, literally seeing Lila’s crossed figures behind her back says “At least Chloe is still sleeping, she needs the rest.” Alya, Lila and her empty cup saunter beck to their seats nearby. 

~

Mari and her class finally land in Gotham’s cold December night. Freshly hushed into a private shuttle, the class are driven to their hotel. It is late: around 3:30 AM. With heavy eyelids the class gazed out the bus’s windows in awe. The merging view of traffic and Christmas lights chase them to their residence. No one really remembers or knows what happened that night. Just the feeling of falling, be it into a white fluffy hotel comforter or into the crisp Gotham air. 

~

“Oh! My! Gosh!!!” hears Marinette as Lila on the bus to Wayne Enterprise. “I feel so. At. Home!” In Marinette’s tired ears, there were more exclamation marks. 

“Of course… The only thing that can inhabit Gotham alleyways are cockroaches and villains,” Chloe grumbles beneath her breath, looking out the window.

“What have I ever done to you Chloe?” Lila cries, “I understand why Marinette bullies me, she is a jealous and vile girl. But I thought you, Chloe, want to be a better person, not a bully like that bitch, Marinette!”

“How dare you. How dare you. HOW DARE YOU!” Chloe yells as the recent words loop in her mind, 

“Not gonna call your daddy, huh?” Alya taunts. 

Chloe, with tears in her eyes begins, but is quickly interrupted by Marinette, “No she will not. She doesn’t need to. Chloe grew a lot over the last couple months, I’m so proud of her. She doesn’t need your bitch-ass approval.” Marinette grasps Chloe’s hand which previously wrapped itself around the fabric of Chloe’s heavy caramel winter coat.

“Quiet on the bus!”, A yell came from the front.

“But, Mr. Bus Driver… Marinette is being a…”

“Shut it! Y’all want me to kamikaze this shit into a building? I’m guessing y’all value your lives so shut it!” 

“Ms.Guardian, can I please have a cookie?” Pollen softly asks from the inside of Chloe’s giant white faux leather handbag.

“Shh… Pollen! Now’s not the time!!!” stresses Tikki.

“Please Ms. Guardian!!! I’m so so so hungry. This bag isn’t very warm and it’s taking all my energy to keep warm. A lil blubber wouldn’t hurt…. please!!”.

“Of course Pollen,” quietly respond Mari with a grin, “Here you go.” She pulls out a couple cookies from a Tupperware and hands them to Pollen. “Please share them with Tikki,” whispers Marinette into the bag. 

Marinette and Chloe then hears two tiny “thank you”s followed by the sound that can only be described increasingly aggressive chomping. Both girls giggle quietly.

~

“Welcome to Gotham,” says an unenthusiastic man at the front desk. “Congratulations, you are…” He checks his computer. “On time? Interesting.”

“Yes, we are aware,” grumbles Mrs. Bustier, already done with the man’s attitude.

“Okay so before the tour starts I’m doing to need the student who set-up this field trip to sign a couple forms and stuff. Here ya go.” The man pushed a thicc pile of paper into the teachers hand. 

“Oooh! That would be me sir!” Lila chirped, intercepting the papers before skipping back to her posse of her’s. A few seconds after beginning to fill out paperwork Lila cries “Ouch! My wrist! My arthritis! Can someone help me filling out all these form.” 

“I’ll fill them out, I’m only going to need your signatures,” offered Max.

“Thank you Max, you are so sweet!” Lila complements. 

“Of course, your arthritis was badly affected by the altitude yesterday, you shouldn’t be staining your wrist so early!” Max blushed. 

“Maribug, you gonna to say something?” 

“Nah, just watch. Entertainment without a Netflix membership.”

[platonicavengers]

christmas day

pairings: platonic!avengers x teen!gn!reader, brief mention of platonic!daisy johnson x teen!gn!reader

word count: 569 :O lil baby

warnings: none! maybe some swearing, but this will all just be some christmas fluff :) also this one probably won’t have too much dialogue and im sorry but as i wrote it i just didn’t feel the need to add much so im sorry if u prefer more dialogue heavy stories :( this is also prob gonna be pretty short but ehhhhh it’s content :P

author’s note: a lil surprise oneshot just for christmas :) i hope you’ve all had an amazing day and i hope u enjoy this fic <3 oh and also pietro is alive in this bc he is my emotional support dead man

summary: you spend christmas with the avengers :)

my masterlist | read on ao3 | read on wattpad

You woke up at exactly 7 a.m., rushing to get dressed so you could open the many presents resting under the tree. 

You made sure to pull on your favorite Christmas sweater, keeping your sweatpants on and adding a pair of warm fuzzy socks.

You ran out of your room, going to Peter’s next door and knocking (loudly and repeatedly), yelling for him to wake up. He opened the door not long after, looking tired, but just as excited as you. You grabbed his wrist, pulling him along with you to the common area.

As you ran through the hallways, you shouted for everyone to wake up, a large grin present on your face the entire time. Peter laughed as he yelled with you, and the two of you only stopped when you made it to the elevator, but you erupted in a fit of loud laughter as soon as the doors shut.

When the elevator doors opened and revealed the common area, you were met with the sight of an exhausted Sam, and a wide awake Pietro and Wanda. Seems they were just excited as you and Peter.

You took a seat next to the tree, right next to Wanda, the two of you quickly falling into conversation, your cheerful voices filling the room.

Slowly, the rest of the team filed into the room, most of them sending you a glare as they entered. You simply sent them a smile back, feigning innocence.

Once everyone had arrived, you were quick to begin sorting through the presents, handing everyone’s out. Over the years, it had become a tradition for you to be the one to hand out all the presents. You don’t know why it originated, but you made sure it continued each year.

You made quick work of handing everything out, eager to open yours. After handing out the last gift, which was to Steve, you were allowed to start opening everything.

You quickly tore the wrapping paper off of each and every present, a wide smile appearing on your face each time you opened something new. Thanking everyone for your gifts with a hug and a smile, you sat back down next to Wanda, resting your head on her shoulder.

You waited and watched as everyone else finished opening their presents, and once they were done, you brought all your gifts back to your room to begin messing around with them, or putting them where you thought they should go.

You spent the majority of the day playing around with the Nintendo Switch that your friend Daisy got you before being called for Christmas dinner.

Arriving in the kitchen, you took your spot in between Nat and Bucky, marveling at the large amounts of food before you. You got equal amounts of everything on your plate, but making sure to get twice the average amount of mashed potatoes, trying to hoard them all for yourself. Clint sent you a faux glare as he watched you steal the potatoes, and you replied with a smirk.

As you all ate, you paused for a moment. Looking around you, you saw that you were surrounded by your team, your family. You smiled, putting down your fork.

“Merry Christmas, guys.”

You went to sleep that night feeling happier than you had in a while. Not because of the gifts, but because you got to spend the day with your family.

[teacup-baphomet]

inspired by pandemia

I wrote pandemia on purpose. Rip pandemic but im different.

This is a g/t post I swear. Just take a sec to get there

So the whole zoom meeting thing.

Pandemic happens. People who can work from home do. And that's a heckin lot of people going by post pandemic meme.

And the responses about that and zoom meetins were all

Most people: I hate this. I miss people. Im getting stir crazy. I've been caught without pants twice by now and an important meeting with our best client was ruined because some technologically-challenged moron accidentally turned themselves into an effing potato with their eyes and lips. Why is that even an option, zoom, why?

Introvert: Eff yeah. No people. No pants. No problem. Also Kaley turning herself into a frigging potato during that boring-arse meeting was the best thing ever. I took like a million screenshots and 5 vids of it. Lol.

Office building landlords: *enjoying their easy $ dancing and singing to “Money (In God We Trust) by Extreme*

Office building Janitors: *got their hours cut by a lot* f*ck...

But okay what if instead of face pandemia the human world was integrating with much larger counterpart (so giants. Or probably some word for that isn't “giant” per se.

Instead of the intro to zoom meetings galore. The memes would all be about loom meetings

Most people: I hate this. Like. This asshole has been standing over me and breathing LOUDLY for the past 10 minutes and its SO upsetting. And ugh. When peoples stomach rudely announced their presence in demanding for suztinence it was a little awkward, maybe evena lil funny but now its just effing unsettling and this one time, it sent triggered this ex-colonel’s pstd and he just yelped, dove off the table - thankfully only got some scrapes at worst - and like crawled under the table calling for back up. The awkward tension in the room was dang thick it would be impenetrable even with an ak-47. Oh. And I hAte feeling short. I am 6′2″ of manly man. I am NOT short. But compared to /them/..ugh. What? What is this emotional intelligence you speak of? Empathy? Why don't you ask THAT GIANT about empathy. Are they thinking of us ...tiny... pathetic... humans when - hey my self esteem is amazing! - they so effing oppressively loud when...when they... When they are... uh... breathing.... Stop laughing, Louise! This is a very legitimate issue!

Macrophiles: This asshole has been standing over me, being loud.... And .... And all empompassing n’ sh!t for the past 20 minutes and oh f!ck im so turned on right now. Pls jesus take the wheel before I royally embarrass myself and lose my job

G/t fan: Wtf. Why did it suddenly get dark. W o a h. That person is b i g. I.. I could get used to meetings like this. Ohhh. They’ve been standing over me for a hot minutes. Do... Do.. They want be my friend... Or... Or oh my gosh do they like me.... Like, like even maybe u/////u ohhhhhkay me. Let’s not embarrass ourselves just yet. Just act cool... Coooool. Oh what am I doing. I have anxiety, im awkward, I'm drenched in my weight of sweat by now, and if my heart beats any faster I'll be saying hospital over  getting to say hi to my - maybe uwu - fren....

Office building landlords: Oh god these new required renovations are gonna require a whole tear down and rebuild. Im never gonna financially recover from this.

Office building janitors: *they full time with better pay in this scenario but alas also human* f*ck....

[oh-theatre]

Bloopers Video!!

Very vague spoilers lol

Hi I love Patton and that’s final

Is an Oibrow raiSe

Look ma I’m on TV

ROMAN IS DEAD JEJDJEJFJ that’s the end y’all

Sixtine

REMUS AS STEWIE IM CRYING

Your pooper, your brown maker, your bhOle (gOD I LOVE HIM)

*casually dying* rOMAN!

Lil ol me? I’m alrIOT

I think Logan knows sweat words, fucking right

Shiter? I barely know her

KAY LOGAN SWEARINGJSJDJRJ

in your pathetic lives... loGAN ITS YOU LIFE

LOSE MY MARBLES

fuck them

Fuck you

SO MUCH SWEARING IM CRYING

What? I’m cool... laMEEEE

Mommy I don’t want the mashed potatoes

What the fuH

because I was one of them.. what the fUH

Tumblr called that like month ago

Two dEES AT ONCE

DUTY AND DEVOTION PATTON IM-

What the FuH

Fine craftsman ship

MneEh and mYeh

Roman singing I’m-

ROMAN IM GONNA LOOSE MY SHIT

👀

Patton the prospector

His laugh I’m gonna cry

Unmentionable

Yet taint

Yer balls

Yer dingus

I literally don’t care at all

Pyants

Lamp (JEJDJD SHIPPERS ARISE)

P an t s

Another major isushsbsjdjdjnf

For shUre

And now a bunch of sounds:

YeeEeeEe

GoOoOoh

AAAAAAAA

GeeeEeeh

NooOoOo

MoOoOoOoooo

SMELLY BUMMMSSSSS

what’re you taLKING ABOUT

cause I gotta sneeze

Olllllll beeeen kenobi

Ah shit here comes the song

I’m auditioning for the role of Thomas Sanders

This is my vogue shoot (holding a dolphin)

The sausage went ZoOoom

Casually chokes his friend

THE ENTIRE SONG BLOOPE IM CRYFIN

meow (a BAPEY)

I’m the holder of the apple

Slap slap slap slap slap bottom

AchOO

Virgil standing is the weirdest thing OHMYGOD

DOES ANYBODY HAVE A BROOM?

IEHEHD DECEITS THING

DECEIT HITTING THE WOAH

What the fuH

Unicorns arbejajjeirjdb a bapey

Sprouts babies from their horns

Catch tune, did you come up with that?

A scoodly boo

*sinks out*

Thomas where do you get off

What the fuck are you talking about

The swoRD

Only Arthur was dhurjejd

Donlololoilol

Blehlehelhe

Shut up Virgil is basically what I’m saying

Me too Thomas

Good! Thanks!

How are you a DAD IF YOU DONT HAVE ANY KIDS

shIt

Ahhhh okAy

You must be a figment of my imagination, come on all my other figments of my imagination

REMUS WITHOUT HIS MUSTACHES JDIDNDK

Got Mario and Luigi here lmaO

Aliens

The duke... is a bitch

Aaaaa bitch

Ehhhh bitCh

Acrylic nails Remus yes pls

STUPID NOODLES

That’s creativity still working

Can you believ that?

And then she fucking dies

So there wasn’t really a ghost? Y’all about booballs

StinkY?

You are not going into church looking like that mister

And hate why we are gonna get demonitIzed

PoopY shit

Nope I’m an adult that’s noT AHAHAHA

I’m gonna kick your asH it was a pun and I didn’t swear

You can’t fucking punch me I’m imaginary you dumb shit

Suck my dick stupid

I’m all out of reactions for you

HE KNOWS THE VINE

Joan I thought you were vegAn

I freaking lvoe jOan

No more blood... REMUS

prom 2019

Does anyone see the weird dad character in here? Wiat why are there four different mes in here

We press them down, we repRESS ... oH

Patton I love you

1 in 50 people suffer from intrusive thoughts ... oops

Am I beeeeee ehHhHh

No seriously.. you’re really... lame

I WAS DECEIT ALL ALONG

I’m crying

don’t do thaT

THOMAS CANT SPEAK SAME

funeRAL

HAH

MORE AN IMORE

Something something

We also call those horse girls

EW DECEIT IS THAT WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE WITH YOUR HAT OFF

You’re alive it’s a miracle.. praise Jesus

Aw my bapey I lvoe you

Duke trying to get out from the Tv

Open the gates and seize the daYYYY

Gavins a BAPEY YALL

making a musical sequence in your head is not easy work

Me maH

Boo!

All of LoGAN!

OH MY GOD ITS A TRAIELR JEJDJEJF

JSUDJDJD YALL YALL YALL A TRAILER

APRIL THEITEENTH?? OU MY HOLY HELL I CANT BREATHE

AJDJJEJDJD OH NO PATTON LOOKS STRESSED

HES WEARING A SUIT OHMY GOD

YALL

Brb gonna go freak out

[saeyoungs-sunflower]

Matchup for @nad-zeta! (Milestone Celebration)

Zeta, my sweet sweet Zeta, here’s your matchup! You have been such an angel, both in your patience and your general loveliness.💛 I’m sorry it took a little longer than expected, but I hope it was worth the wait! It’s pretty long (~3000 words lolllll) so it’s all under the cut. Sorry, I got carried away! :’) xx

So, without further ado, based on the information you gave me I matched you with...

Saeyoung!

take care of my bby pls

I feel like I need to say that I kept going back and forth between him and Zen. Zen was a VERY close second, so I kinda half match you up with him too. That being said, there were some things you mentioned that made me lean more towards Saeyoung, which will be explained below :))

~

Reasoning & General Headcanons!

“🥰 i am a aries, infp, ravenclaw female 🦊”

An Aries you say...?

Need I say more? Absolute chaotic duo. The energy is buzzing, and the people you hang out are always amused by your shenanigans.

As an INFP, you are caring, loyal, and sensitive, which are traits that I believe Saeyoung would benefit from in a partner. He also hides his true emotions well, so someone with your personality type would be able to pick up on the signs that he is feeling low, even if he tries to hide it. Your loyalty and devotion also helps him feel secure, which considering everything he’s been through, is something I feel he would struggle with, particularly in the early stages of a relationship.

On the flip side, Saeyoung is also incredibly loyal. And whilst he does joke around and tease, he knows how sensitive topics and comments can affect someone, so he is never careless, especially since (as an INFP) you often take things to heart. As a team, you work well together because you view the world slightly differently. You’re an idealist, whereas he’s a realist; you focus on the big picture, whereas he has an incredible attention to detail. This is really helpful in difficult conversations, big decisions, plans for the future etc, because whilst your opinions may differ, you offer the other a different side of the story. You get the best of both worlds!

I don’t know my Harry Potter houses very well, but from my memory and a quick Google search, Ravenclaws value knowledge and are wise, intelligent and witty. Sounds familiar? ;) i mean wise is debatable lol. Your conversations are sooo interesting and natural, because you’re both very intelligent in many ways.

“i am pretty shy and difficult to get to know (apparently it took me 2 months to start opening up to my friends, ooops), i tend to bottle up my emotions, my friends would likely describe me as incredibly stubborn, gentle, kind, over dramatic, goofy and fun loving. I am pretty aloof and blunt, like i will 9/10 times tell you to your face how if feel about you if you ask 🙈once u are part of my inner circle i am playful, teasing, i am an extremely sarcastic person that makes snarky remarks under my breath and my kind of humor is a bit of dark and self deprecating.”

Okay, this was one of the key things that made me match you with Saeyoung. A huge reason why I love Saeyoung so much is that there is a high level of comfort in a relationship with him. By that I mean that he is so open and fun that there is literally zero judgment. Judgment is such a foreign concept to him in this kind of situation. He makes you so comfortable that it’s so easy to be yourself around him, and it doesn’t take long for him to get to know you.

GIRL HE’S THE SAME. The king of bottling up his emotions. This means that y’all know when something is up, you can see the signs. You are understanding of each other, so discussions happen and actions are put into place before things become too much.

Saeyoung sometimes just needs to be told when he’s being a lil prick. You are kind and gentle when he needs it, but also can be blunt with him when it gets silly. I mean, if MC was like you towards the end of his route, we would have got through the whole “i’M tOo dAnGeRoUs gEt aWaY” thing SO much more quickly.

Once you’re comfy with him, you become an absolutely unstoppable force. When he teases you, you tease him back. When he’s being playful, you’re his partner in crime. Y’all are so goofy. Your life is full of laughs and joy with Saeyoung.

Sarcastic comments, dark humour and self-deprecating jokes? Yep that’s also very Saeyoung. Sometimes you two have to reel it in a bit when you’re hanging out with others because YOU’RE OUT OF CONTROL TOGETHER.

“I love my friends and family and will fight anyone who threatens them, although when it comes to me, you can do or say anything to me and i wont do anything (I honestly can't stand up for myself).”

IT’S LIKE HE’S LOOKING IN A MIRROR. Seriously though, he knows the importance of self worth because he knows, firsthand, the damage that can be done when you don’t value yourself and your wellbeing. He makes it his mission to help you see how worthy you are of respect and give you confidence to stand up for yourself. Even if you won’t do it for yourself, he’ll stand up for you. He cares too much about his loved ones to let them be treated wrongly.

He feels how much you love him and your other friends/family which makes him feel so secure, and he also has a phenomenal amount of love in his heart to give and he ain’t afraid to do so.

“I swear like a sailor although I am trying to get that under control, however the road rage is real.”

Finds your road rage and swearing SO amusing. Constantly teasing you about it and winding you up, but it’s all in good fun.

Absolutely has a swear jar for you. No doubt about it.

“You’ve corrupted my good, Catholic ears.” “Saeyoung shut the fuck up.”

“I love nature and animals (i love my lil bunnies and dogs), i love working out/going to the gym #gym is life”

I mean, we know he adores cats, and I imagine he loves other animals too.

I also imagine he loves camping, and I don’t even know why. He just gives me camping vibes. Weekends away spent in nature, sleeping in a tent and sitting round a fire in the evenings are pretty common for you.

I know this is ~controversial~ topic in the fandom, but I am of the opinion that Saeyoung also works out.

Do I think he’s completely ripped? No, probably not. But he’s strong, lean at the very least. Even Jaehee admits it! He makes working out so much fun and it’s always a bit of a laugh.

“i enjoy cooking (i am now officially a chef), wine tasting (fancy way of saying getting very tipsy of different wines most nights), spending time with friends (especially if there is tea to be spilt) although i do need lots of alone time to recharge my social battery”

The first time he tasted your food, he almost cried. Poor boi lived off eating crisps and soda for God knows how long.

“Wait, you’re not meant to constantly feel like you're gonna throw up? Food is meant to have...flavour???”

Help him

Saeyoung is pretty social, but also needs time to recharge like you, though he can go a bit longer than you and doesn’t easily get drained by social interactions. This may seem like a problem when you spend time with friends, but it’s actually such a blessing. If you’re feeling exhausted when socialising, he knows and will “take the wheel” if you will. There’s nothing worse than trying to keep a conversation going or seeming upbeat when you literally don’t have the energy, so Saeyoung is there to help you out. He’s also super good at politely and subtly taking you out of those situations if you are super drained and need to recharge.

He’s also such a gossip so if you got tea to spill he’s ready to hear it, and you know he ALWAYS has tea to spill. Sneaky man

“i like conspiracies, reading, writing (Fanfics and im busy with my Masters in nutrition >“<), rom coms, and  sleeping. As much as i love spending time outdoor i also enjoy lazing around the house being a lazy potato.”

Discussions about conspiracies over dinner lol. He is in possession of some...top secret information, so those conversations are very interesting and eye opening ;)

He LOVES to read your writing. It literally doesn’t matter what it’s about, he finds it truly fascinating. It’s a little glimpse into who you are, and it’s something you created!!! By yourself!!!! HE LOVES THAT. Always impressed with what you write, every time. He’s so proud.

ROM COMS WHILST CUDDLING ON THE COUCH

He’s a cryer, he loves rom coms.

He works super hard, so he’s always down to have a lazy day with you!!

“I definitely zone out and daydream all the freaken time and tend to blush easily which i hate 🙈 i definitely dont like crowds and loud sounds (ie you will never find me in a club). I am a picky eater despite my degree in cooking (i basically only eat candy, carbs and protein)”

He. loves. Making. You. blush. I’m sorry, but it’s one of his favourite things. He thinks it’s so adorable, so prepare for all the teasing, lewd jokes and general flirtiness that’ll get your cheeks burning ;)

He’s not keen on crowds either, so that’s not a problem!! I imagine he occasionally goes on night’s out with the bois (and by bois I mean usually just Zen and Yoosung LOL) but he’s not often out until super late, and he’s super respectful of you. Would never ask you to do something or go somewhere that makes you uncomfortable.

“i love cuddles although i look like someone that wouldn’t. Ive been told i come across as calm and confident, while in truth on the inside i am really scared and insecure.   I am incredibly awkward when it comes to boys and have been told my sarcastic comments are x100 when i talk to them (oops).”

CUDDLE MONSTER. I actually think he’s the biggest cuddler in the RFA. Controversial I know, but damn Saeyoung loves a cuddle. He’s a spontaneous cuddler. Like it doesn’t matter what the situation is, if you need a cuddle or he just fancies one, he’ll find a way.

He sees right through your calmness and confidence, because he’s exactly the same. This puts him in the perfect position to reassure you and lift you up. He’s a great hype man!

He finds your awkwardness adorable, and your sarcastic comments just make him love you even more! He has a good sense of humour and doesn’t take things too seriously if they don’t need to be, so he’s constantly laughing with you and easing your mind in the very early stages of your relationship.

“I am very go with the flow, and i never burn my bridges 🙈 i am very forgive and forget🦊, like no matter how badly you hurt me.”

Based on what happens on his route, it’s very handy that you are a forgiving person hahah

But again, if Saeyoung thinks you are being treated wrongly and being hurt, he will stand up for you.

His dedication to protecting the ones he loves is STRONG. I mean, look at his relationship with Saeran and the way he is constantly looking out for you in ALL routes.

Of course, he won’t say or do anything to that person if that makes you uncomfortable. Instead, he will constantly reassure you of your self-worth and remind you that you deserve better, but will also support the decisions you make.

If you want to forgive and forget, he will respect that, even if he thinks differently.

“What am i looking for in a potential partner?.... well i definitely think i need someone that could bring me out my shell initially, also someone who isn't too sensitive cause like i said i can be super sarcastic and my jokes kinda match that (like in my family we show out affection for each other via playful insults and savage comments)😂😂”

As I stated above, I think Saeyoung is the best person to help bring you out of your shell. There’s no judgment and no shame with this man.

I find that someone being unapologetically themself is SO contagious, and Saeyoung is exactly that - unapologetically himself.

We’ve all seen his humour, he doesn’t seem to be particularly sensitive either so you’re all good there hahaha. Obviously everyone does have their limits, so whilst their are topics/jokes that would probably make him uncomfortable (e.g. stuff relating to Saeran), overall, he’s chill and ALWAYS ready to joke around with you.

The roast battle is so real with you two LOL

“i kinda want someone stable, hard working, decisive, ambitious and who can push me out of my confort zone and vice versa.🦋”

He goofs around, but there’s no denying that this man works HARD.

Once he leaves the agency and starts his new life with you, I can imagine him being super ambitious and also aiming for stability.

His life before had been so restrictive yet so uncertain. He had to do what he was told, but never knew what was just around the corner.

This makes me think that he would crave the stability and certainty that he never had (a ‘normal’ life, if you will), but also he’d want to try so many things that he hadn’t before. He strikes me as a ‘go big or go home’ kinda guy, so I think it’s safe to say that he would be ambitious in many ways.

The only thing I don’t think he ticks the box on is decisiveness, at least not at the beginning. I think he usually knows what he wants, but rarely acts on that.

“It’s up to you”, “whatever you want” and “I don’t mind” are very common phrases for him lol. I think he would learn to be more decisive once he gets comfortable. I also think he has his moments of assertiveness though, when he’s in the right mood.

“Also someone who is family oriented and loving (someone that can cuddle me when im having a bad day)☺ and someone who can make me laugh, cause i love joking around so i kinda think i need someone who could match that🌻”

SAEYOUNG. IS. SUCH. A. FAMILY. MAN.

Again, look at what he’s done for Saeran and how deeply he cares for and loves him. A ‘normal’ family was something that was absent in his life, so when he has his own family (whether that be a found family or one he made) he would cherish that so strongly, maybe more than most.

SAEYOUNG. IS. A. CUDDLE. MONSTER.

He could be working at his desk and suddenly think “you know what? It’s snuggle time” and then he would search the house for you to give you The Snuggle™

Again, he’s also VERY observant and his attention to detail is impeccable, so he can instantly tell if you’re having a bad day and will act accordingly - aka SNUGGLE TIME

I mean, need I say more? If you want someone who makes you laugh, Saeyoung is the guy. There is never a dull day when he’s around, and the house is always filled with laughter!

So yeah....that’s my reasoning :’)) now onto your very own drabble!! This is all yours, so if there’s anything you’d like me to change or add, PLEASE let me know!! I’m more than happy to edit anything to make it more personalised for you, just shoot me a message and I’ll be on it, same goes for anything I’ve said above!!🥰

~

Drabble!

“Saeyoung! Can you come here a second?”

You called out to him from the kitchen, stirring from a pot whilst its contents quietly bubbled away. You could hear the music blaring from his headphones all the way from the other room, with the occasional hum or drum on his desk. Evidently, he hadn’t heard you.

“SAEYOUNG CHOI GET YOUR FINE ASS IN HERE.”

The music ceased, followed by rapid pattering as he darted into the room, nearly skidding round the doorway. 

“I heard ‘fine ass’ and here I am,” he smirked, sauntering over to you and snaking his strong, secure arms around your middle. He swayed you from side to side, planting a wet kiss on your cheek, much to your dismay. Saeyoung merely chuckled, resting his chin on your shoulder, “What do you need, witch lady?”

“Why ‘witch lady’?”

“Well, whatever you’re cooking is giving me witchy vibes. It looks like a potion in a cauldron. Look at you with your double double toil and trouble-OW! Don’t pinch me!”

“Sorry, it’s a witch thing,” you winked, spinning around in his grip so you were face-to-face. “You sure you’re not the witch? You do have the nose for it.”

“I’ve also got the dress and hat in the attic, shall I go put it on?”

“Try this for me first.” You held the wooden spoon out to him as he took a sip, chuckling at the way his brows furrowed in thought.

He smacked his lips a few times, hummed then finally looked back to you, “It’s good.”

“That’s it? That’s all you got?”

“You do realise that my taste buds have essentially been burned off by chips and soda, right? I have no idea if something’s bad or not.”

“You’re right. I should call Jumin.”

“You can’t,” he informed, his smirk growing ever wider as he moved towards the snack cupboard, “Mr Han has a date tonight.”

The spoon clattered against the counter, your mouth agape, “You’re shitting me.”

“That’s another coin in the swear jar.” Saeyoung chucked a packet of candy in your direction, though it only hit you in the face before falling unceremoniously onto the kitchen floor, “I think we need to get your reflexes checked, babe.”

“Tell me everything.”

He took a seat on a breakfast stool and chortled as you leaned over the counter, eyes showing your eagerness to hear the gossip. And he was more than happy to provide, “He appears to be really into her. Like, really into her. She seems to just get him, you know? I could hear his smile down the phone when he told me about her earlier.”

“Earlier? Why are you only just telling me this now?!”

“Do you wanna hear the rest of it or not?”

Huffing, you perched on the seat next to him, stealing a piece of his candy despite his look of horror, “Okay, well where did he meet such a woman?”

“You’re never gonna believe it.”

“Try me.”

Saeyoung was enjoying himself far too much. He couldn’t wait another moment to witness your reaction, “She’s Zen’s co-star.”

“NO.”

“YES.”

The tea had been spilt, and things were about to get very interesting within the RFA.

Your eyes were glued to his as he continued to disclose the details. At some point you had wrapped your arm around his, his other hand encompassing yours. He abruptly stopped halfway through describing the first encounter, causing you to quirk an eyebrow impatiently, “What?”

“Do you smell burning?”

“...Fuck.”

“And another one for the swear jar.”

~

@nad-zeta​ there we go my love, I hope you enjoyed your matchup!! I am so grateful for your support, it never fails to make me smile when I see you pop up in my notifs. You are beautiful, kind, bright person and you deserve the world. Thank you again for all you’ve done and all you do💛💛 Take care of yourself, my friend! xxx

(Note for other readers: I usually don’t do matchups, this was for a special occasion! I doubt I’ll open up requests for them later on, but never say never!)

[silvanable]

Match-Up : Ikemen Revolution

@nad-zeta

Hi there dear! I legit loved your ikesen matchup up so her so here i am asking for an ikevamp matchup ❤❤ hope u dont mind❤❤

🥰 i am a aries, infp, Hufflepuff female 🦊 i am shy and difficult to get to know (apparently it took me 2 months to start opening up to my friends, ooops), i tend to bottle up my emotions, my friends would likely describe me as incredibly stubborn, gentle, kind, over dramatic, goofy and fun loving. I am pretty aloof and blunt, i like i will 9/10 times tell you to your face how if feel about you if you ask 🙈once u are part of my inner circle i am playful, teasing, i am an extremely sarcastic person that makes snarky remarks under my breath and my kind of humor is a bit of dark and self deprecating.

I will definitely be the person making jokes at inappropriate times and something about inappropriate things (its one of my coping mechanisms) 😂 I love my friends and family and will fight anyone how threatens them, although when it comes to me you can do or say anything to me and i wont do anything (I honestly cant stand up for myself). I swear like a sailor although i am trying to get that under control, however the road rage is real.

i love nature and animals (i love my lil bunnies and dogs), i love working out/going to the gym #gym is life (it is one of my coping mechanisms and has helped me slowly overcome an eating disorder)😂i enjoy cooking (i am now officially a chef), wine tasting (fancy way of saying getting very tipsy of different wines most nights), spending time with friends (especially if there is tea to be spilt) although i do need lots of alone time to recharge my social battery, i like conspiracies, reading, writing (Fanfics and im busy with my Masters in nutrition >“<), romcoms, and  sleeping. As much as i love spending time outdoor i also enjoy lazing around the house being a lazy potato.

I definitely zone out and daydream all the freaken timeI tend to blush easily which i hate 🙈 My face will give away what i am thinking. i enjoy my own alone time and i definitely dont like crowds and loud sounds (ie you will never find me in a club). I am a picky eater despite my degree in cooking (i basically only eat candy, carbs and protein), i love cuddles although i look like someone that wouldn’t. Ive been told i come across as calm and confident, while in truth on the inside i am really scared and insecure.  I am incredibly awkward when it comes to boys and have been told my sarcastic comments are x100 when i talk to them (oops).I am very go with the flow, and i never burn my bridges 🙈 i am very forgive and forget🦊, like no matter how badly you hurt me.

🙈 Thanx so much dear ❤ Sorry if this is TMI and for making u read all that again🙈🙈🙈🔥Cant wait to see who i get matched with 🌈🎀

✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦

i’m glad to see you in my submissions again! it makes me very happy knowing you enjoyed the ikesen match up!

i hope i don’t disappoint with this ikerev one. enjoy!

✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦

↪  GUIDELINES

✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦

ー FENRIR GODSPEED : ACE OF SPADES

i can see a relationship between you and fenrir because there are a lot of areas in compliments with personalities.

you said you were a shy person who does not open up easily, but you can be read by your emotions with a good eye.

fenrir takes a whole 24 hours to crack down on that calm and shy little persona you got going before he has you laughing in tears on the floor.

sorry i don’t make the rules i just rely them.

he took it as a personal challenge to get you to smile and laugh and feel comfortable around the black army headquarters.

so yes, he would try and do everything imaginable in a single day to get you to open up.

not to mention you are also a moderator, with a milder set personality and very gentle.

which pretty much balances out the wilder and more chaotic side that fenrir has been known to have.

that being said, you happened to be a very goofy, fun loving, and playful person so you also compliment his wild side.

to put it simply, you are either the mellow aid or you are the chaos instigator, there is no in between.

i’m going to say it right now, gym buddies.

you love to work out, the moment fenrir finds that out he’s there asking if you want to join him on his morning routine.

he would love the company anyways and maybe to show off a lil bit.

between you and fenrir, i can imagine a lot of food going missing.

especially sweets. oh god all the sweets.

not to call you out but both y’all are carb junkies, which is to make up for the exercise of you running from the trouble you both stir up.

going to be honest, the first time you open up a can of the good ol’ sailor everyone, and i mean everyone is surprised.

there lovely, gentle, fun-loving alice is in the courtyard swearing higher than magic tower.

to say the least chutney learned her lesson after bearing the front of it not to try and steal your stuff.

half the black army had come running out with the first shout worried they were being attacked and you were in trouble.

instead they ended up finding alice 2.0 with a slightly startled raccoon, your notebook and pens all over the ground with you squatting to pick it all up.

fenrir was shocked… and that shock broke down into loud laughter a moment later.

“with a tone like that even the red army will be running from you!”

he will never let you, or anyone for that matter, forget it.

on another note, despite all the wild and troublesome things you two get into much to the display of mother sirius you do have your mellow moments.

cuddles. all the time.

while fenrir seems to have the attitude of the extrovert on EXTROVERT™ he has his moments of calm and quiet.

your need to recharge is especially something that causes him to mellow out, he doesn’t want to push you too far.

he understands you need alone alone time too, so he’s willing to back up but most times he’s spending your recharge time to mellow out with you.

absolutely willing to spend time you with in bed just to snuggle into you and hold you close.

walks in the garden to hear about your conspiracies, what you’ve read recently, or what you’ve been writing.

would bring shu shu with him constantly because he found out you loved dogs and he must bring a tiny floof for your enjoyment plus shu shu loves you so.

expect this man to ask you to cook for him.

the moment he finds out you’re a chef that’s it, he wants to taste everything you’ve ever made or even thought about making.

his support and encouragement are WAY out there in the best and loving way possible.

✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦

[tartagilicious]

Hi there love! I hope you are doing well! Can i please request a ikemen sengoku matchup. ^0^

❤🥰 i am a aries, infp, Hufflepuff female 🦊 i am shy and difficult to get to know, i tend to bottle up my emotions, my friends would likely describe me as incredibly stubborn, gentle, kind, over dramatic, goofy and fun loving. I am pretty aloof and blunt, i like i will 9/10 times tell you to your face how if feel about you if you ask 🙈once u are part of my inner circle i am playful, teasing, i am an extremely sarcastic person that makes snarky remarks under my breath and my kind of humor is a bit of dark and self deprecating 😂 I love my friends and family and will fight anyone how threatens them, although when it comes to me you can do or say anything to me and i wont do anything (I honestly cant stand up for myself). I swear like a sailor although i am trying to get that under control, however the road rage is real.

i love nature and animals (i love my lil bunnies and dogs), i love working out/going to the gym #gym is life😂

i enjoy cooking (i am now officially a chef), wine tasting (fancy way of saying getting very tipsy of different wines most nights), spending time with friends (especially if there is tea to be spilt) although i do need lots of alone time to recharge my social battery, i like conspiracies, reading, writing (Fanfics and im busy with my Masters in nutrition >“<), romcoms, running/working out and  sleeping. As much as i love spending time outdoor i also enjoy lazing around the house being a lazy potato. I definitely zone out and daydream all the freaken time

I tend to blush easily which i hate 🙈i enjoy my own alone time and i definitely dont like crowds and loud sounds (ie you will never find me in a club). I am a picky eater despite my degree in cooking (i basically only eat candy, carbs and protein), i love cuddles although i look like someone that wouldn’t. Ive been told i come across as calm and confident, while in truth on the inside i am really scared and insecure.  I am incredibly awkward when it comes to boys and have been told my sarcastic comments are x100 when i talk to them (oops).

I am very go with the flow, and i never burn my bridges 🙈 i am very forgive and forget🦊, like no matter how badly you hurt me.

🙈 Thanx so much dear ❤ Sorry if this is TMI🔥Cant wait to see who i get matched with 🌈🎀

**ok, after very deep consideration (lol), I’d match you with Yoshimoto! 

my boy unfortunately isn’t a very popular choice, but I can really see someone with your personality being a good fit with him! please give him a chance if you’re interested 🥺

firstly, he’s a very open person. described as a ‘lady killer’ by pretty much everyone around him, social interactions are a breeze and he has no problems talking to anyone, despite how much he may or may not know them. it’d be very easy to get close to him because of this, no matter how awkward or shy you may be. I think your stubborn and gentle combo would intrigue him, not to mention how it turns into something much louder after he gets to know you. he could definitely get behind that, especially considering how fun you sound! he really needs an opportunity to let go, and I feel like someone like you would be the perfect person for him :)

he is 100% alike in the fact where he doesn’t let anyone threaten those he cares about. so, I feel like having that kind of mutual connection would be very helpful and not to mention sweet 🥺 he’s also the same where he’s weak in protecting himself sometimes, so it’d be great having each other around for that reason as well! 

He doesn’t really get angry as much as he does get frustrated, so your tendencies would be  a bit hard to get used to, but I feel like he’d work well with it. after all, he does spend most of his time around people like Kenshin, soo- 

he has a million little hobbies! and he would be thrilled to know yours! cooking, wine tasting, and social events with friends are all completely up his alley. he can’t cook extremely well, so imagine the nights in the kitchen with you teaching him a new recipe! or, going wine tasting! he has expensive taste, so I bet that’d be a blast. and of course, social events — you’d be a model couple the entire night, 

as I mentioned earlier, he’s smooth around women, but I think that if he were serious about someone, it’d be the opposite. don’t get me wrong, he’d still flirt unabashedly just to see you get flustered, but he’d probably also fluster just as easily if the positions happened to be reversed. he’s the type of lover that would mostly prefer to go along with you want, so long as it’s reasonable, so nights in or out are okay with him. plus, your love of eating unhealthy — he doesn’t really do much of that since he likes to maintain his appearance, but you bet he’d have a cheat day for you. nothing’s off limits here. 

he likes your confidence — it’s something that he wishes he had more of — but when you’re breaking down, he’ll always be there to help you back up. he knows all too well the struggles of life, and wants no one to go through anything close to the turmoil he does. plus, your sarcastic comments will goof very well with him, esp considering how much he flirts 💀

[askthehiddencaste]

🌹 🍂 🍄 💐🌿🌳💦 (for tannos and his lil buddy from koyo👀)

🌹  Where in the world does your OC feel most at home? Is there any reason why? Is there a certain somebody that makes them feel at home where ever they may be? What does home mean to them? “I feel most at home when i’m with my quads... which is now Koyoko... well, there and Shuska’s library! Its quiet and an easy place to just think and read. Home to me means a place I can be with my thoughts!”

your a fucking idiot for liking that library. I’d rather be at the arena you kept swearing up and down we would be training for. but noooooooo you dont want to let a creature do their hobbies

“because your hobbies includes killing things and I’m not about to let that happen 

🍂  Does your OC enjoy hugs? What do they do as a show of affection for: their friends, their family, their significant other(s) or for strangers? Over all what are they like with recieving affection from others?

“FUCK YEA! Hugs all around! unless theyre koyo then its a dip and a kiss~” he chuckled

I could do without the hugs.....

🍄  What are your OCs favourite snacks? Their favourite comfort food which always cheers them up when they’re down? Favourite meal to make? Do they enjoy baking and cooking and are they any good in the kitchen?

“Snacks? just whatever I can get my hands on really. I’m not picky! A comfort food for me though would happen to be my absolute favorite meal would be home made sausage with some oven roasted potatoes and honey glazed carrots..... Hey that reminds me, Heilel help me remember to make that for koyo!” 

How about instead of that nasty sausage we do a pork roast and apricot glaze? everything else could be good but just get rid of that sausage!!! 

💐 How does your OC handle being unwell or forced to rest in bed? Who cares for them and in what ways? Does your OC enjoy being doted on or are they a terrible patient? Reversed: is your OC good at taking care of others who are ill or in need?

No, hes not getting a chance to answer this one. Tannos is a fucking infant when he gets sick. take it from someone who’s stuck with the fucker!!

“OI! I’m not an infant.....i jsut.....dont like worrying others.... and if someone else is sick then I’m more than happy to dote and care for them”

🌿 What way does your OC show that they care without using words? What way do others show your OC that they’re cared about without using speech?

“I always try to bring little treats and presents for those I care for. And for my quads I like to keep touching them. a rub of my hand on their shoulders, fingers through theirs, a kiss to the forehead, etc.”

🌳 What is your OC’s favourite way to relax after a stressful day? Do they have a favourite book to curl up with? A hobby? Or do they have a nice bubble bath and have an early night to bed?

“I love to actually just hit the hotsprings to relax! But a close second is to read. one of my favorites is Frankenstein! It reminds me a lot about myself as funny as it seems.”

hobbies and insterests include training with the clubs and sickles we own but SOMEBODY thinks im too violent 

“because you are!!”

💦 If you as the writer could erase one traumatic event from this OC’s life what would it be and why?

// huehuehue no way!!! why I would do that? It’s all there for his story to make the lovable dumbass who he is! //

[sunyoonandstars]

📝 The ABC tag

I was tagged by the lovely @peachesandfiction 💖💖

rules: answer the question in a new post and tag 10 blogs you’d like to know better

tagging: @ilyoongs @tony-montana-shit @mayhembunny @darliingmo @le-petit-croissant @moonseff @bronrekken @bloomyg @lovetae95

(a)ge: 23 god I’m so old

(b)irthplace: A small town in Northern Germany

©urrent time: 01:31am

(d)rink you had last: Champagne on ice I’m not lying I swear

(e)asiest person to talk to: Jan, a highly intelligent colleague of mine. He has a unique way of thinking and the most fascinating perspectives on anything and everything. He just gets me. And we’re similarly weird lol.

(f)avorite song: There are so many, different ones for each occasion. Songs that influenced me and my life, songs that came to me when I needed them. But two of my favorite songs are “Purple Rain” by Prince and “2! 3!” by BTS. 💖

(g)rossest memory: Probably when I almost cut off my own thumb with a kitchen knife while trying to open a jar of pickles at 01:00 am because THAT’S how hungry I was lol. 😅 It was pretty disgusting, though. Lots of blood. I almost fainted. And I had lots of fun explaining my own stupidity to the ER doctors that night ...

(h)ogwarts house: Ravenclaw

(i)n love: Never have been, and am kinda afraid I never will be. My heart is just not easily swayed. I need to be swept off my feet, I guess. Because otherwise I’m too cautious to let myself fall for someone.

(j)ealous of people: Not usually. Jealousy is a waste of energy.

(k)illed someone: No. And never will. I can’t even kill bugs. I’m serious. Like, they’re living beings, too, you know.

(l)ove at first sight or walk by again: I don’t really believe in love at first sight. Sure, there are things like instant attraction. But I believe to really LOVE someone you need to know them first. So, rather walk by again and maybe strike up a nice little conversation, share a drink and confess sins and secrets to each other, so things can go their natural way from that point onwards ...

(m)iddle name: None, sadly. I’m so boring.

(n)umber of siblings: seven, all of them younger than me. 3 sisters and 4 brothers. They’re all a little weird but I love them and they adore me don’t ask me why. My next younger sister is 21, and when we grew up, we were inseparable. People called us twins. My youngest brother is about to turn 3 in September and is the cutest lil bean.

(o)ne wish: To be happy, genuinely happy for once.

(p)erson you called last: My sister.

(q)uestion you ask most: Why?

®eason to smile: People I care about.

(s)ong you sang the last: “Sex on Fire” by Kings of Leon

(t)ime you woke up: 07:30am

(u)nderwear color: Black (lace)

(v)acation destination: Somewhere peaceful where it isn’t too hot.

(w)orst habit: Too many.

(x)-rays: Also too many. I’m quite a clumsy person and misfortune seems to follow me wherever I go. Last one: When I fell down a flight of stairs at work, bruised a few rips, dislocated a shoulder and sprained my wrist/arm. 🙃

(y)our favorite food: Fruit, chocolate, soups and potato dishes.

(z)odiac sign: Capricorn

[doggonneit]

The Last Red Scribble | Part 2/2

Fandom: Haikyuu!!

Pairing/Characters: Kuroo/Tsukishima, Shimizu

Rating: T for Teen

Warnings: Abortion reference

A.N. This is the final part of the KuroTsuki Gift Exchange 2017, written for @moonislander on Tumblr. Hope you enjoy!

Italics is Tsukishima. Bold is Kuroo.

[Read on AO3]

Tuesday PM

(11:02) so i might be dumb

(11:05) If you have the mental capacity to figure that out, you paradoxically can’t be that dumb.

(11:06) i might not play in the match on thurs (11:06) i punched a guy

(11:07) Why the fuck would you do that.

(11:08) im a rational guy (11:08) but when things happen (11:09) they happen

(11:10) I changed my mind. (11:10) I’m not letting Tobio anywhere near you. You are the worst role model for him.

(11:10) hear me out (11:11) its good i swear

(11:12) …

(11:12) so at practice this newbie kept staring at akaashi (11:12) creepy but harmless (11:12) but then the dudes hand started wandering (11:13) so i socked him in the jaw (11:13) gotta keep the bros boyfriend safe right

(11:15) I’m sure Akaashi appreciates it.

(11:16) nah but bokuto did lololol

(11:16) The question is, how many laps did your coach make you run?

(11:17) dude i ran till i hurled (11:17) make me feel better? (11:17) *sad face emoji*

(11:20) The newly discovered dinosaur fossils in China have changed the way scientists understand the evolution of feathers.

(11:22) huh (11:22) not quite what i had in mind but cool

(11:23) It’s my job.

(11:23) youre a geneticist who collects dino dna from amber (11:23) YOURE GOING TO BRING THEM BACK

(11:23) I’m a research assistant.

(11:24) doesnt mean you dont know how

(11:24) Amber DNA is too deteriorated for any type of resurrection.

(11:24) but if you could (11:25) would you

(11:25) Yes.

(11:26) million dollar question which dino though

(11:27) Velociraptor, duh.

(11:27) not a t rex?

(11:28) T-rexes were lumpy potatoes with useless arms. (11:28) Velociraptors had claws on their hind legs for disembowelling prey. (11:28) You tell me which one’s superior.

(11:29) youre so fired up its great (11:29) keep talking dinos to me

(11:31) I would but I have articles to type up before tomorrow.

(11:31) what an aDULTY ADULT (11:31) doing his JOB AND HAVING PROSPECTS

(11:33) Do you mock young and successful people because it temporarily alleviates the worthlessness you feel on a daily basis?

(11:35) savage af

(11:35) :))))

(11:35) i never shouldve went to uni (11:36) dietetics then sports med? (11:36) regret tastes like ash in my mouth (11:36) fucking murder me

(11:37) That was very poetic.

(11:38) you like poetry?

(11:38) I don’t mind it.

(11:39) hypothetically (11:39) could bad poetry seduce you

(11:40) Hypothetically (11:40) No.

(11:40) damn

(11:41) I bet you’re the type of person to fall for sappy crap like that.

(11:41) damn right (11:41) in elementary school a girl wrote me a poem (11:42) we dated all the way from recess to lunch

(11:43) Your longest relationship, huh?

(11:44) all from a shitty roses are red poem (11:44) i bet you can do better (11:45) seduce me o seductive seducer

(11:47) Congratulations, I have literally never been less turned off in my entire life.

(11:48) to reiterate (11:48) 1. i am dumb (11:48) 2. regret tastes like ash in my mouth

(11:49) Mmm. (11:50) You know what else tastes like ash? (11:51) *image attached*

(11:53) oh baby (11:54) you could never taste like regret (11:54) now take that cigarette out of your mouth

(11:54) Yes, daddy.

(11:55) hjlfkllkkl (11:56) okay i need you to stop fucking with me its bad for my heart

(11:56) :)))))

.

Wednesday PM

(8:13) tsukki you cant just do that

(8:14) Do what?

(8:14) i almost rolled into an early grave

(8:14) I have no idea what you’re talking about.

(8:14) do you know what its like to turn around and see the brightest blueberry eyes in the entire universe

(8:15) Oh, you mean Akiteru taking Tobio to the recreation centre?

(8:15) I SAW STARS IN HIS EYES TSUKKI

(8:16) Tobio said he had a lot of fun. (8:16) I’ve never seen him so animated before.

(8:17) your son is adorable (8:17) i dont have favourites but hes my favourite

(8:17) Don’t spoil him.

(8:18) no promises (8:18) your blueberry son is everything that is good and pure in this world (8:18) im so proud of you

(8:19) Me??

(8:19) well you made him

(8:19) You must’ve slept through Biology in high school because making a child is a two-person job.

(8:20) clearly tobio got his good looks from you

(8:20) We literally look nothing alike.

(8:21) are you telling me tobio has two beautiful parents (8:21) lies (8:22) pics or it didnt happen

(8:22) ...

(8:23) i just realised how that sounded (8:23) and i in no way meant to ask you for a picture of you sleeping with tobios mother

(8:27) I have never (8:27) Laughed so hard in my entire life (8:28) I choked on my fucking tea.

(8:28) whoopsss

(8:29) But since you asked (8:29) *image attached*

(8:29) please dont tell me thats actually a pic of you two fucking (8:29) because i would be really weirded out

(8:30) That’s not a picture of us fucking.

(8:30) im trusting you okay (8:31) OH MY GOODNESS (8:31) AHAHAHAHAH (8:31) SHE IS SO BEAUTIFULLL

(8:31) She gets that a lot.

(8:32) im having a hard time trying to figure out if im jealous of you or her

(8:32) No point. We’re not together.

(8:33) i figured if you were you wouldve said something earlier (8:33) so let me guess (8:33) she cheated on you

(8:34) No.

(8:35) you cheated on her

(8:35) No. (8:35) Do I look like a cheater?

(8:35) hey i dont stereotype

(8:35) There was no cheating. Just unfortunate circumstances.

(8:36) one night stand accidental baby?

(8:36) Yeah, close enough.

(8:37) thats tough (8:37) it happened to my older sister too (8:37) but she ended up marrying the guy (8:37) they were like fuck yeah lets be a family (8:38) so now im the proud uncle of a literal ball of snot

(8:39) That was Akiteru when he held Tobio for the first time. (8:39) He couldn’t stop crying. (8:39) It was gross.

(8:40) dude was holding the future in his hands (8:40) of course he was crying

(8:40) You cried when you held your literal ball of snot for the first time, didn’t you?

(8:41) THIS ISNT ABOUT ME ITS ABOUT YOU (8:41) BACK TO YOUR ONE NIGHT STAND

(8:41) You need to be a level five friend to unlock my tragic backstory.

(8:41) well okay (8:41) what level am i at now

(8:43) Zero.

(8:44) what (8:44) how can you say that (8:44) we had an anniversary (8:44) your brother loves me (8:45) your son adores me

(8:45) My brother what now.

(8:45) did i forget to mention?? (8:46) we bonded over vball (8:46) now were texting buddies (8:46) we talk about you ALL THE TIME

(8:48) You’re lying. (8:48) Akiteru would never do that to me.

(8:48) you had a dinosaur nightlight until you were eleven

(8:49) … (8:49) Excuse me. (8:49) I have a murder to commit.

(8:49) tell akiteru i said hi!!

.

Thursday AM

(9:23) WISH US LUKC TSUUKIIIII

(9:24) You’re… Bokuto. The Bset Freind Foreber.

(9:24) YAEH YOU RMEMEBR ME (9:24) I STOEL KUROOS PHONE LOL (9:24) WE GOT OUR MATHC TODAY (9:24) HES PLAYIGN TOO

(9:25) Even after he punched that guy in the face?

(9:25) COAHC IS A GOOD UPTSANDING MAN (9:25) WHO DOESTN TOLERATE SEZXUAL ASSUALT (9:25) I ALSO MAY HAVE THROWN A TANTRNM ON COUTR

(9:26) I’m impressed. Good job.

(9:26) WE’RE RARIGN TO GO (9:26) LOOK AT US WE LOOKS O GOOD (9:27) *image attached*

(9:27) Yeah, you blurs look really good.

(9:27) OKAY OKAY WAIT (9:28) *image attached* (9:28) AKAASGHHI TOOK TAHT ONE (9:28) AWESOME AYYY

(9:29) Are those (9:29) Sleeveless red jerseys (9:29) ?  

(9:29) YAEEHHHH (9:29) WAIT THISS IS EVEN BETTER (9:29) CHEKC THIS OUT (9:30) HOLD ON

(9:30) *image attached*

(9:30) ...

(9:30) GROUP FLEX

(9:30) I

(9:31) LOOKGNI SEXY SMEZY RIGHT (9:31) ;)))))))))

(9:32) No.

(9:32) LIAR I BET YOU’RE BLUSHIGN

(9:32) Go warm up before your match.

(9:32) IM TELLIGN KUROO!!!!!!

.

Thursday PM

(3:16) a lil birdie told me (3:16) youre into (3:16) BICEPS

(3:17) It’s a lie.

(3:17) so this does nothing for you (3:17) *image attached*

(3:17) ...

(3:17) oikawa and akaashi (3:18) slender and toned specimens (3:18) 7.5/10

(3:18) You have got to be kidding me.

(3:18) dont be shy no judgement here (3:18) *image attached* (3:18) terushima and ushiwaka (3:19) terushimas built but ushiwakas got power going (3:19) 8/10 and 9/10

(3:19) I can’t believe you right now.

(3:19) *image attached* (3:19) these are bokutos (3:19) amazing right my boy is STACKED (3:20) 10/10

(3:19) Please stop.

(3:20) the real killers though (3:20) *image attached* (3:20) IWAIZUMI (3:21) look at that (3:21) he could choke me and id thank him 12/10

(3:22) Are you done with the meat parade?

(3:22) just one more (3:22) *image attached* (3:22) ME (3:23) what do you think??

(3:23) I’m not stroking your already inflated ego.

(3:24) i know for a fact youre not a blushing virgin (3:24) now stop being shy and rate me

(3:24) You’re ridiculous. (3:24) Fine. (3:24) Solid muscle. Good definition. (3:24) 9/10  

(3:25) only 9?? (3:25) im hurt im insulted (3:25) would it make a difference if i used a filter

(3:26) Why not.

(3:26) *image attached*

(3:26) Superb musculature, clearly the result of endless hours of hard work. (3:26) 10/10  

(3:26) i knew it (3:27) i gotta go rub this in oikawas face (3:27) he will rue the day he ever thought he was better built than me (3:27) text later okay

(3:27) Kuroo.

(3:27) yes dear

(3:27) You forgot to tell me. (3:28) Did you win the match?  

(3:28) YEAH LOL

(3:28) Congratulations.

(3:28) thanks babe (3:28) the thought of you kept me going strong (3:28) *heart eyes emoji*

.

Friday PM

(10:23) i wondered what’d gotten tsukki so riled up (10:23) and then i saw all the biceps (10:23) loolllll  

(10:25) im intrigued (10:25) who is this mysterious person with tsukkis phone

(10:25) ahh i’m yamaguchi (10:25) tsukki’s best friend (10:26) i may or may not have borrowed his phone when he wasn’t looking  

(10:26) devious (10:26) i like it

(10:26) ur going to like this a lot more

(10:26) oho?

(10:26) it’s friday night (10:27) which means it’s karaoke night (10:27) with everyone from work  

(10:27) there wouldnt happen to be (10:27) alcohol (10:27) involved would there

(10:28) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

(10:28) you bring great news friend (10:28) so what do i need to sacrifice to get a vid of tsukki (10:28) doing a drunken rendition of my heart will go on

(10:29) that’s a big request (10:29) tsukki hates performing (10:19) especially to cliches  

(10:30) okay but you do have the ability to make him to do so

(10:30) that depends on what ur willing to sacrifice

(10:30) you ARE devious (10:30) all right what do you want

(10:32) ur number and ur firstborn

(10:33) im devoted to tsukki just saying (10:33) firstborn no problem

(10:33) i want ur number bc i want to keep u accountable (10:33) not bc i’m interested in u, u loser  

(10:34) i can see why you two are best friends

(10:34) we have a deal??

(10:34) fuck yeah lets go

(10:34) gimme fifteen minutes (10:34) tsukki’s already tipsy on strawberry daiquiris  

(10:34) this is gonna be so good (10:34) lets go lets go lets go

(10:53) i am (10:53) a GOD (10:53) *video attached*  

(10:57) AHAHAHAHA (10:57) this is (10:57) the second best day (10:57) of my life (10:57) omg is this real its beautiful

(10:58) he is SO BAD, RIGHT

(10:58) is he better sober

(10:59) no but he can rap sober

(11:00) are you fucking with me

(11:01) nopee

(11:01) what do i need to sacrifice to see that

(11:01) u couldn’t afford it (11:02) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  

(11:02) worth a shot (11:02) youre a true bro anyway

(11:03) why thank yoyiijkpll

(11:03) you okay bud

(11:03) What teh fuck

(11:03) tsukki?? (11:04) babe (11:04) so me and your bestie bonded too

(11:04) Waht the actual fuvk (11:04) I’m too drukn to typpe (11:04) You fuckign pick up whenm I call  

(11:05) wait what

.

Mysterious Phone Man Tsukki is calling…

“Uhh… hello?”

“I… I am going to… gouge your eyes out.”

“Holy shit, you’re slurring. You’re soo drunk.”

“Hi, Kuroo!”

“Shut up, Yamaguchi.”

“Sorry, Tsukki!”

“Kuroo, you shit. I sh… should’ve known you’d do something like this.”

“Hey, Yamaguchi was the one who filmed you!”

“Ohh no, don’t blame me, you enabler!"

“You know what, I’m not even sorry. That was wicked. Oh my god, I’m definitely in love.”

“What a complete dick… hole.”

“Aw babe, you’re so eloquent when you’re drunk. What did Yamaguchi give you, hmm?"

“JÄEGERBOMBS, WHOO!”

“Fucking disgush-- disgusting.”

“Then why’d you drink it, you dork?”

“Ughh…"

“Don’t forget you owe me, Kuroo!”

“Gonna kill you both.”

“I dare you. Come to Tobio’s practice tomorrow and we’ll have a fucking throwdown.”

“I’m going to be so hungover.”

“I double dare you.”

"Fucking… fine.”

“Wow, Kuroo. You’re really good at riling Tsukki up, you know that?”

“It’s a special talent. Now you boys enjoy the rest of your night. I’m going to watch that rendition one more time and laugh myself to sleep.”

“FUCK YOU, KUROO!”

“I love you too, sweetheart.”

“Aww, you guys.”

“YOU FUCKING--”

Click.

.

Saturday AM

(7:46) GOOD MORNINGGG (7:46) THROWDOWN AT 10 (7:46) DONT FORGET

.

Mysterious Phone Man Tsukki  is calling…

“Uh-oh. Am I in trouble?”

“I fucking hate you.”

“Soo… your head is pulsing, your throat is parched and you want to die in a hole?"

“I was unconscious. Unable to feel pain. Now I’m back in the world of the living.”

“Don't be mad. If you drag your ass down to the rec centre, I’ll get coffee for you.”

“...”

“Is that a yes?”

“Large black.”

“Black coffee? Are you serious?”

“It matches my soul.”

“O-kay, anything else?”

“Strawberry muffin.”

“Your soul confuses me.”

“And something for Tobio.”

“No shit, duh. Akiteru?”

“He can starve.”

“Still haven’t forgiven him for telling me about the dinosaur nightlight, huh?”

“And I’ll never forgive you if you bring it up again.”

“Bring what up again?”

“Good boy.”

“Can we revisit that conversation about kinks again?”

Click.

.

Saturday AM

(9:47) ive got coffee and muffins (9:47) hot chocolate for tobio (9:47) and a latte for akiteru bc im not an ass

(9:52) Fuck.

(9:52) i know youre mad at akiteru but no need to get hissy

(9:52) It’s not that. (9:52) We can’t make it to practice anymore.  

(9:53) ????

(9:53) Tobio’s mother is here.

(9:53) whoaa what

(9:53) I’m really sorry. (9:53) Especially since you bought breakfast. (9:54) I’ll pay you back.  

(9:54) dont worry about it lol (9:54) ill share it with the other guys

(9:54) Are you mad?

(9:55) kinda disappointed but not at you (9:55) its not your fault

(9:55) I really am sorry. (9:56) I need to go, but I’ll text you later okay?  

(9:56) no need to stress (9:57) practice is about to start anyway

.

Saturday PM

(1:28) Are you free to talk now?

(1:29) kuroos sperm bank (1:29) you squeeze em we freeze em

(1:29) That is disgusting.

(1:30) tsukki its time for the talk you never got when you hit puberty (1:30) what you must realise is that masturbation is healthy and natural

(1:30) We are not having this conversation. Ever.

(1:31) babe dont be embarrassed (1:31) one day youll have to have the same convo with tobio lololol

(1:31) Please don’t remind me.

(1:31) you doing okay

(1:32) I’ve had a shitty morning.

(1:33) id also be in a bad mood if i were hungover and my ex showed up uninvited

(1:33) She’s not (1:33) Whatever.  

(1:33) not... your ex?

(1:34) She can’t be my ex if we never went out.

(1:34) idk you had a one night stand with her

(1:34) It’s complicated.

(1:35) have i reached level five friend yet

(1:35) …

(1:35) im here to listen

(1:37) I guess you might be a level five friend.

(1:37) hell yeah

(1:37) I can’t believe this. I don’t even know you.

(1:38) im hurt (1:38) you just blessed me as your level five friend

(1:40) I don’t know where to start.

(1:40) lets start small (1:40) howd you meet her

(1:40) Shimizu was my senior in high school. (1:40) We weren’t close but we kept in touch after she graduated. (1:40) Study tips and stuff like that.  

(1:41) thats cute (1:41) sounds innocent

(1:41) It wasn’t ever anything more than that. (1:42) We just (1:43) There’s a lot to learn about yourself when you’re a teenager. (1:43) And we thought we could help each other out.  

(1:44) seems like you two trusted each other a lot

(1:44) We did. (1:44) Do. (1:44) But there was never a relationship. (1:45) We slept together but neither of us really wanted it.  

(1:46) what do you mean?

(1:46) I’m gay. (1:46) Shimizu’s ace. (1:46) We both cried afterwards. (1:47) Pathetic, right.  

(1:47) i dont think thats pathetic at all (1:47) you bared your vulnerabilities to each other (1:47) and learned something about yourselves in the process (1:48) it takes a lot of courage to do something like that

(1:49) I guess.

(1:50) so tobio was the result of that huh

(1:50) Yeah. (1:50) It was bad. (1:50) Our families were so pissed at each other. (1:51) They talked about abortion and marriage and all that shit.  

(1:51) i dont envy you at all (1:51) that mustve been a complete shit storm and a half

(1:51) Shimizu and I considered a platonic marriage. (1:52) But we didn’t want to do something neither of us wanted again.

(1:52) so wedding nay but baby yay

(1:52) Tobio lived with Shimizu. (1:52) Until she got a job offer in America. (1:53) She thought a new country would’ve been too much for him. (1:53) You know how that turned out.

(1:54) stomping sandcastles and chucking buckets (1:54) i still think tobios a champ

(1:55) Dickwad.

(1:55) i love you too babe (1:55) but seriously you and tobio have been doing a lot better (1:56) hes talking to you and his teacher said he was playing with other kids

(1:56) Tobio had (1:56) He’d settled. (1:56) He’d looked at me. (1:57) But one glance at Shimizu today and (1:58) It was like I didn’t exist again. (1:58) Fuck. (1:58) I can’t do this.  

(1:58) hey hey hey (1:58) tobio was just excited to see his mum (1:58) four months right (1:59) he wouldve missed her like crazy (1:59) he wants kisses and cuddles (1:59) doesnt mean hes forgotten his old man

(2:00) First of all, I’m not old.

(2:02) ... (2:02) second of all??

(2:02) I don’t have a second of all.

(2:03) LOLOLOL

(2:03) Shut up, I’m emotional right now.

(2:03) naww babe (2:03) youre just overthinking things (2:03) talk to tobio (2:03) hes five but he understands shit (2:04) tell him you love him just as much as his mum does (2:04) then throw in a vball reference or something idk

(2:04) You’re so helpful.

(2:04) even if tobio doesnt understand everything (2:04) verbalising will help sort out your emotions

(2:05) I thought you were doing Sports Medicine, not Psychiatry.

(2:05) i am an old man with decades of wisdom

(2:05) There it is.

(2:05) what?

(2:05) STRANGER DANGER.

(2:06) i cant believe (2:06) i walked right into that one

(2:06) Lol.

(2:06) feeling better?

(2:07) Yeah. (2:07) Thanks for listening to me vent. (2:07) It did help clear my head.  

(2:08) thats what level five friends are for

(2:09) I’m still sorry about missing practice this morning. (2:09) Can I make it up to you?  

(2:09) how about (2:09) lets do this properly (2:10) and go on a real date

(2:11) I (2:11) You want that?  

(2:11) youre intelligent witty and hilarious (2:11) you love your son and would do anything for him (2:12) plus youre the most beautiful person ive ever seen (2:12) theres no reason i wouldnt want to

(2:12) Wow.

(2:12) thats a very lacklustre reaction

(2:13) No, I’m just (2:13) Surprised.

(2:13) good or bad surprised?

(2:13) Good surprised. (2:13) I didn’t expect you to be so straightforward.  

(2:14) i have literally been calling you babe and sweetheart and dear

(2:14) I thought flirtation was an integral part of your personality. (2:14) Am I wrong to assume you flirt with everyone?  

(2:14) well no (2:15) i joke around a lot (2:15) but i mean it with you (2:15) youre amazing in every way

(2:16) I really don’t know what to say to that.

(2:16) how does this sound (2:16) you me and tobio (2:16) at the park tomorrow (2:16) picnic and volleyball

(2:18) You’d want Tobio there?

(2:18) of course hes my favourite (2:18) and also because hes important to you

(2:18) Nice save.

(2:18) so picnic?

(2:18) Yeah. (2:18) I’d like that. (2:19) Tobio’s excited too. (2:19) He says he’ll help make riceballs.  

(2:19) thats the cutest fucken thing ive heard all day (2:19) BOKTUO BRO HIGH FIVE ME IM GOING ON A PICNIC WITH TSUKKI AND TOBIO TOMORROW ADN IVE NEVER BEEN THIS EIXCITED IN MY ENTIRE LIFE

(2:19) Kuroo.

(2:19) uhh (2:20) wrong number (2:21) fuck it NO REGRETS

.

Sunday AM

(9:12) Hello, is this Kuroo?

(9:15) yeess (9:15) whos this

(9:17) My name is Shimizu Kiyoko.

(9:17) wait as in (9:17) tsukki and tobios shimizu??

(9:18) Yes.

(9:18) uhh hey (9:18) not that i dont want to talk to you (9:18) but why do you have my number

(9:19) I took it from Tsukishima’s phone. (9:19) Our last few conversations he mentioned your name and it piqued my curiosity.

(9:19) tsukki talks about me?

(9:20) He doesn’t think you’re a nuisance. (9:20) That’s very rare.

(9:20) what can i say (9:20) im charming when i want to be

(9:20) Tobio is quite taken with you. (9:21) That’s also very rare. (9:21) You’re the exception to the rule; I’m sure you understand why I’m curious.

(9:22) i guess but i dont know if theres much to say (9:22) we all just like volleyball

(9:22) Your influence helped smooth out their relationship.

(9:22) it wasnt much (9:22) i just mentioned vball and things went from there (9:22) it was all them

(9:23) You helped them find common ground in their lives. (9:23) I know how difficult it was for them beforehand.

(9:23) they wouldve figured things out eventually (9:23) theyre amazing as they are

(9:24) You sound fond of them.

(9:24) i am (9:24) tobios a good kid (9:24) and tsukki makes me laugh (9:24) mostly at my own expense (9:24) but i like that he doesnt hold back

(9:25) Tsukishima holds you in similar thoughts. (9:25) He’d never admit it but I know him well enough.

(9:25) so this conversation (9:25) are you basically sussing out whether or not im a piece of shit

(9:25) Yes.

(9:25) how am i doing so far

(9:27) You’re fine.

(9:27) oh thank god

(9:27) I don’t understand. You sound relieved?

(9:27) well youre tobios mum (9:27) and tsukki has a lot of respect for you (9:28) so your opinions pretty important

(9:30) I’m surprised. Not many others would consider that.

(9:31) idk it makes sense

(9:32) I’m glad Tsukishima found someone who accepts our unusual circumstances. (9:32) I was afraid my decision to keep Tobio would affect his future relationships.

(9:32) tsukki wouldnt care about people like that anyway (9:33) hed give tobio the world before he gave it to anyone else (9:33) but who wouldnt for a kid like that

(9:35) I think the same, but I may be biased.

(9:35) tobios earnest and hardworking (9:36) determined to challenge himself (9:36) you raised a good kid

(9:36) Thank you. That means a lot to me.

(9:36) its the truth (9:36) so i have passed your inspection or nah

(9:39) There’s a lot I want to say but I’ll keep it brief for both our sakes.

(9:39) yikes

(9:40) I care for Tsukishima and Tobio so much more than I can put into words. (9:40) I hope it means something that I think you’re good for them.

(9:41) oh (9:41) yeah (9:41) yeah it does (9:41) thanks (9:41) im not eloquent enough for this (9:42) but i care a lot for them too (9:42) and ill take care of them (9:42) for as long as theyll have me (9:42) for as long as youll let me

(9:44) I can see why Tsukishima and Tobio like you.

(9:44) tsukki only likes me for my biceps

(9:44) Funny. (9:44) Tsukishima is actually reading this over my shoulder.

(9:45) uh oh (9:45) is he sulking now

(9:45) A little bit. (9:45) He does have a weakness for muscles.

(9:46) I KNEW IT (9:46) AHAHAHAHAHA (9:46) hes never going to live this down

(9:47) Oh, I shouldn’t have let that slip. (9:47) Tsukishima’s mad at me now.

(9:47) bless his sensitive soul

(9:47) He’s telling Tobio to spike a ball into your face.

(9:48) what

(9:48) Tobio might actually do it.

(9:48) shimizu (9:48) i know were merely acquaintances (9:49) but help

(9:50) Strawberry shortcake. (9:50) It’s Tsukishima’s favourite.

(9:50) thats adorable (9:50) i owe you one

(9:50) Then take care of them. (9:50) Or I’ll take care of you.

(9:51) wh

(9:51) Have fun on your date. (9:51) Tobio will tell me all about it. (9:51) :)

[thxyx]

answer this with the urls of blogs that you'd love to get noticed by but are too afraid to approach and send this to five other people so more awkward potatoes can get noticed :)

okay i am generally an awkward bean when it comes to this but i think i can also make this an appreciation post for the blogs i love and appreciate to the moon and back. i got three, here goes.

1. @kobutoririsu - if you haven’t read her fics, WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR LIFE? and honestly i love this woman and her relatable fangirling and her precious love for jinyoung and her fics, which i could talk about for YEARS. like a friend of mine isn’t even into kpop but i made her read Dear Superman-guy and she loves it as much as i do and we scream about updates together. i would break the word count if i could actually elaborate here so im going to stop here lmao.

2. @protectmarkjin - abbie is such a blessing to markjin shippers and her compilations and reaches have cheered me up on many a day. i swear, she’s just so fucking adorable and relatable. ive been through her entire markjin tag and that is how fake was inspired??? lol m'not joking.

3. @yoongichii - i literally got a tumblr account so i could stalk her yoonjin tag, and ive been through the entire thing. she’s literally??? the queen??? of yoonjinists???? she’s a blessing to yoonjin shippers and the very reason that im educated on almost every aspect of yoonjin.

i swear, i love these blogs to the moon and back and i wish the bloggers everything good in the world because they’re bringing happiness to this lil fangirl’s life.

also @ruuutaa, @cuddly2jae, and @drastic33 used to be on this list but im actually friends with them now?? (like wow even i can’t believe that happened) and i guess i just appreciate them all the more ^^

[justharuthings]

NFLYING.

September 1, 2019  ㅡ

It was a memorable night.

My first concert for this year, 2019.

#UPALLNIGHTinManila

Bringing N.Flying to Manila was almost far from possible. But big thanks to the hard working admins of the local fan-base, it was made possible! 

A little back story,

I first heard N.Flying around the time of INFINITE’s Tell Me promotion. 

They were promoting at the same time with Infinite and what made me notice N.Flying was their potato lightstickㅡyes the potato bong made by them. It was so visible during the ending of the music show as they were holding on to it.

It was inspired because of their latest release at that time entitled, Hot Potato.

During INFINITE’s promotion, I was watching the music shows and while waiting for them to perform, I saw N.Flying’s performance and was actually shocked to see that they were a band! Since I’m also a fan of DAY6 (a korean band under JYP Entertainment) I got curious and that’s where I started watching N.Flying videos and interviews. 

Hweseung even said that it is his first time playing with guitar on stage that he was so nervous but of course, he nailed it! 

During the concert, the marshals near our area were very strict in those who were taking pictures and videos and they went all strict just after the first few songs. So we were only able to took some during the start. I was not able to take one during Hweseung’s Huling El Bimbo performance :(

Initially, our tier is on the farthest part of Kia Theater. We got a Balcony Center ticket but when me and my cousin got inside, we were actually shocked that we were instructed to enter right away. We were expecting that we will go up because as stated in our ticket, Balcony. But to our surprise, we got upgraded to Floor! We were seated on the last rows below but the view is till near! Good thing the floor inside is elevated. 

After the concert was the Hi-touch event.

This is were things started to get blurry haha! 

Imagine, having a high-five with your biases? Who would be on their right mind after that moment?

Of course, taking pictures and videos are not allowed during Hi-touch. We were instructed to line up and wait for our turn as they set up on stage.

OMG.

Chahun was the first in line and was smiling too much it’s blinding ;___; I was supposed to say ‘all iz well’ (in reference to their line in their youtube account, 두얼간이 2IDIOTS with co-member Jaehyun), but I went blank. He was too bright and all smiling ;_____;

Seunghyub omg thank the heaven for your existence haha! He was standing next to Hun and I swear I lost myself AGAIN. I was hesitating at first, but there I said it. I was able to say “I love you” to Seunghyub during my turn and 

HE. SMILED. BACK. THOSE. SPARKLING. EYES. AND. SMILE. IM. OUT.

ㅡthe rest was history lmao 

Jaehyun look so cute next to Seunghyub. I can’t even see his eyes because he was all smiling :)) :) :) That cute lil pup! I was able to say ‘all iz well’ but I doubt he heard it because he was busy smiling hahaha!

Hweseung, the last one! He was standing tall unlike the rest of them bending forward but I  was starstrucked and speechless. 

It was a memorable night indeed!

I got to meet some of my mutuals and was also able to meet new friends! It feels good attending concerts like this because you will always meet new people and if lucky, you may actually share the same interests in kpop groups! 

In my case, I learned that they also like BTOB, DAY6, EXO, the list goes on.. :)

Me and my cousin!