#because i'll watch it....... but i won't be happy about it
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No shade to the OP on this one because I do know some people who will do this and what I am going to bring up here might be specific to me, but I would still encourage people to be enthusiastic about their horror interests anyway.
I work in a library and thus I have access to EVERY. SINGLE. WEIRD AND MORBID BOOK you've heard of and so very many that you haven't. My reading list is a joke among my colleagues because while some of them are reading the newest Sally Rooney or Jennifer Colgan, I am regaling them (gently, but I'll get to that in a minute) of my favorite books that have featured some truly awful things. And yes, I've told patrons about this too, some to confusion and others who find it very useful. I get that this context is different from someone who might meet at a random social gathering, but if someone is going to meet you with suspicion about what you are reading, and they aren't going to hear you out about what makes it great, they probably won't be a lot of fun to talk to in the long run anyway. My coworkers think it's funny that I read such heavy, depressing topics because I am really friendly and upbeat at work. They also like that if they are looking for something a bit spooky but not going to plunge them into a story that they can't finish, they know I have them covered because of that whole gently telling them thing. I take into account their comfort level and when they ask me about my favorite topics, they know they can trust me not to send them into the deep end.
And maybe some random person has read all this and thought "that's fine in a library but that doesn't work in meeting people in other spaces", actually it does. One of my closest and longest enduring friendships began with someone who insisted they did not like horror stories or movies. They were not interested in the scary stuff, according to them. Over time, they realized that I wasn't going to make their life miserable by making them watch stuff beyond their comfort level and they developed their own taste in the genre, a lot of it from the media they already liked. They just thought those things didn't count. This wasn't always the case for people who I talked to, but the ones that mattered, especially with one of my best friends, it turned out that they weren't so quick to judge.
So talk about your obsessions. Talk about the things that excite you and make you happy. Maybe it won't be for everyone but it's not supposed to be and some people around you are still going to find it fun to listen.
being someone who's passionate about their interests when you're a horror fan really is a special layer of hell because every interaction you have with another person where the conversation turns to your hobbies and personal entertainments is a trial where if you show too much unrepentant glee at getting an opportunity to talk about your preferred subject you get to watch them mentally move you onto their list of untrustworthy individuals to avoid in the future in real time
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"Ai, living has no answer."
"When we're in pain, we search for an answer to feel better. A concise, absolute answer. But if you really want an answer… it's that there is no answer. There are no absolute in this world. Even if we think there is, in the end, it'll only make us feel better for a moment.
If there are no absolute, then what's left?
Bonds. Bonds between individuals. Bonds between one another. That's all there is.
That also changes with time. A huge trigger can cause a huge change. Bonds may be severed. But new bonds can also be formed. So living is a series of bonds.
That's what life is.
I have to do that forever?
Yes.
That's a lot of work.
Yeah.
I'd need to be so strong.
That's why people become stronger. That occasionally leads to conflicts. But even if that happens, we have to keep fighting. Keep searching for bonds, even if there's no answer.
You can't rush living."
So I saw on MyFigureCollection that October 13 was maybe possibly Yusaku's birthday, although I couldn't find any reliable source for this. I'd have loved to do something nice and light-hearted for the occasion, but I'm still feeling too strongly about it all. So here you are instead: Happy (maybe) Birthday, Yusaku! Please have some trauma to go with your trauma. Here's to another year of fending off expectations and looking for your own life and its non-answers with eyes wide open and always filled with hope.
#yu gi oh#vrains#vrains spoilers#SPOILERS#how do you tag so it really really doesn't show too obviously because seriously I'd feel horrible for completely spoiling#but I still wanted to share it because I KEEP CRYING#i told my *therapist* about it and we had almost a whole session about bonds and what they mean in terms of support and pressure#I also posted the quote on Facebook last week for my birthday with no explanation and completely out of context#and it was so amazing to have people compliment me on it and ask if they could reuse it#those were the same people who told me that anime would make my brain rot 20 years ago so that's nice turntable and all#i really want to write something heartfelt about it but i'm just rambling and honestly the quote is self-sufficient#i guess i'll just have to find a way to get it tattooed somewhere on my back now because it feels like the only way for me to recover#“I get it now; if you have bonds no one will forget you.” “I won't forget you.”#Vrains quote#VRAINS FEELS#i can't wait for more post-canon in Duel Links#maybe beginning of 2025 if i calculated correctly?#hoping for Akira Zaizen and his Tindangle deck that I'll be happy to destroy with my Revolver deck#and i also have kilowords upon kilowords to write about EVERYTHING but i still need a bit more time#okay that's too many tags i'm done gonna cry a Nile and a half now bye#edit HEY I FIGURED OUT THE “READ MORE” THING I feel less afraid of spoiling now but seriously if you haven't watched Vrains yet stop readin
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starting to feel really complicated about the upcoming Finnish production of Moulin Rouge!
#like. on the one hand I'm of course looking forward to it#but on the other hand. well. it's just that this is hardly my first rodeo.#I've seen some of my all-time favourite productions being redone by other theatres before and they're never as good#(with the possible exception of the Karlstad/Jönköping Les Mis I guess)#(but that was all about Alex being my fav + Philip Jalmelid delivering the most out of this world rendition of Stars I'll ever hear)#and then I'm just very prejudiced against the theatre that's staging the Finnish MR!#with one notable exception every musical I've seen on their big stage has felt... just a little bit soulless to me I guess#maybe it's just because that stage is so big and it always feels like theatre set up in an airplane hangar#or maybe it's because the type of audience they attract almost always gives off a certain slightly detached vibe#or maybe it's something about the way they work itself#or maybe it's all three!#but I'm a little worried that though it's by the same director the Finnish MR! experience simply won't compare favorably to the Swedish one#and then there's the weird feeling you get when it comes to these things... or at least *I* get when it comes to these things#if I'm right in my premonitions and I'll walk out thinking it doesn't hold a candle to the Swedish production that is#inevitably Finnish people are going to love the Finnish MR! and praise it because it's a good production no matter what#so then I'll be stuck in that weird mood#where I'll feel like everyone around me is watching the shadow and I'm the only person who's been outside the cave to see the Real Musical#and I know it's stuck up and silly to feel that way! and yet#oh man. just please let me see the u/s Zidler and I'll be too happy to even compare the rest of it to Stockholm#anyway!! I guess this is something I'll need to work through myself as a musical fan before I go see it#also maybe some fanart of the Swedish production? I've honestly been too exhausted the entire spring and summer to even think about that#but I'd like to draw something#maybe one day?#Moulin Rouge! posting
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i want to understand dating and such but i'm just so lazy to put in the effort and also no one likes me like that and i don't see the point in going after someone just on the off chance that somehow love manages to happen and also drama is stupid. i wanna know for the sake of it but also i could not be assed. i want to know to know but really what i want is friendship and cuddles.
#bluebird.txt#anyways roy and keeley's breakup is still making me really sad#idk watching friends rn cuz it's what's on the tv and phoebe just broke up w a guy who doesn't wanna get married and i'm just like#man#i need to stop being bitter about everything it makes me feel bad and sad and i don't want to keep feeling#like i'm being a bitch to people even if they don't think i am#i don't do it on purpose i just need to shut the fuck up#but i wish i could explode :/#but i can't because no one deserves it and it would be unfair#i wish i could stop thinking and explode anyways#anyways. one day i won't care about any of this and i'll end up somehow and i will be happy.#girls when they've maybe been lightly aromantic for years#'people just like each other? how rare is that thought that one person likes someone and that person#out of all people actually happens to like them back?'#is that the aro-ness or the loneliness talking#or both#fucking who gives a fuck#sex isn't fucking real anyways#it's boring as fuck i bet#like narratively totally hot but in reality? like whatever bro
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feels like i'm stuck in the hellscape that i left after covid but it's just living alone with my dad for more than a weekend
#also i've figured out what's wrong with my cat. i know i shouldn't google diagnose and i'm not a vet (much as i'd like to be)#nor is my human medical knowledge very extensive despite the degree#i also know i'm too anxious about this stuff#but i think he had a seizure#right in front of me#won't go into detail because i'll spiral if i type it out#was sat on the ground with him after that and my dad decides it's the right time to have a go at me#berating me for leaving the room every time he enters#which i did once because he was crashing plates together and i'm autistic ffs#i need to finish studying because there's nothing i can do for my cat other than watch him and make sure he doesn't fall#he's got a small cut on his noise from yesterday which i've tried to clean but he's too wiggly#was a worm in a previous life confirmed#i'm so paranoid that it's not a cut and actually just a bleeding nose#he seems happy and chill as per usual but i need to say something to someone idk what to do#my dad has lived with this cat for 10 years and still avoids referring to him or calling him by his name so that's out of the question#i won't talk to my brother about it because i'd be pushing onto him what's probably just paranoia that he really doesn't need to hear#so i'll tumblr vent. and wait for my mum to get back#should be tomorrow then i'll feel like i'm a real person again
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#woke up today with a looming sense of dread#i'm sitting here with tears rolling down my face because of minor inconvenients#i have no energy and find no joy in anything...#wouldn't you guess i'm due my period any time now...#every month i'm more convinced i have pmdd... and every month i'm full to the brim with anxiety and depression...#this is SO FUCKING FUN!#also yeah yeah i need to go to a doctor i need to speak to someone about this and i need to get medicated#i don't deserve to feel like this periods shouldn't debilitate you this much etc etc...#i don't think there's a human professional in this country that believes pmdd is a thing enough to medicate me#i know for a fact that my mother (a person i live with and in some way still holds power over me whether on purpose or by my own issues)#doesn't believe is a thing because she's the kind of person who says depressed people just need to ''choose happiness'' so...#not exactly a possibility now#not to mention i FUCKED UP the only regular client i had and now i won't be earning enough money to waste on doctor appointments#just to have some old male doctor tall me my ''womanly problems aren't bad enough'' so... yeah not doing that#ANYWAYS i don't see hope in the world today this will pass in a few weeks and everything will be fine#why don't i go watch good omens and maybe i'll calm down am i right?#lol#angel talks#personal
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season 2 pt 2 of ancient magus bride came out and i'm so fucking hyped about it
#oh dawg i am so fucking excited you don't even understand#i enjoyed s1 and s2 pt 1 so much#i fucking love this anime and manga#though i haven't read the manga in god knows how long#prolly won't anytime soon either#chatterye#WAHHHH#i'm debating following the eps as they come out or binging#i'm currently following one anime#so there's a good chance i'll finish if i do that w this one#but also i've been eagerly awaiting this season so#maybe i'll binge it#technically i kept up w s2 pt1 for a little bit til it ended#hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm#i'm so excited#also yes i still haven't watched tsurune s2 because i still tear up thinking about that anime#one can only cry so much#<- the irony of this is that it's a happy sports anime i'm just crazy#typed this w tears in my eyes i'm being so fr rn i wish i was lying#anime rye is very normal about
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episodes 5 & 6 let's go!
shax is actually really good, but i think that's only because miranda richardson is incredible
again "maggie and nina are depending on us" BUT WHY? literally the only reason you're doing this is because you lied to michael about it and they sent muriel and none of the other angels actually know what love is, so how hard would it be to prove. oh. unless aziraphale is referring to maggie's crush, in which case i care even less because nina outright rejected maggie. move on!
"just enjoying the show" nina they weren't even talking that loudly and you just got here what a weird way to butt into a conversation with two people you don't even like. also you're very nosy considering how much you don't like people in your own business. anyway, embarrassingly heavy handed dialogue here.
i have to stop nitpicking or my post is going to be a mile long and since i haven't used a read more yet, it feels wrong to start now. sorry to your dash or whatever.
i don't take back my miranda comment, but god this scene is dragging on. the interrupting demon bit was funny a few times, but we're 12 minutes in.
ok so nina's gf takes herself out with the trash. great. what was the point then.
i get that aziraphale is using miracles to make them all happy and austenian but like again, why am i supposed to care about nina and maggie!!!!!!!!!!!
"there is something REALLY wrong" WELL MAYBE SPIT IT OUT INSTEAD OF DRAWING THIS CONVERSATION OUT POINTLESSLY
ik it's for the drama of the .05 second pride and prejudice dance but god! it's just fanfic tropes, like it's not good, it's just fan service, and not even GOOD fan service
FINALLY some idiot bureaucracy. actually wish it was real and one of crowley's lesser known demonic thingys
ew david's angel wig is so bad but i do like that he's wearing off-white instead of white. why is his tattoo so low and bad
"she's braver than anyone i know" because she's an idiot and egging on a demonic power that she knows nothing about, but has proven itself deadly already?
oh! now they're in the bookshop! well done you moron! they literally couldn't think of a cleverer way to get the demons inside? really?
i REALLY don't like the implication that crowley was ever a "throne/dominion/above" because THE WHOLE POINT IS THAT THEY'RE NOBODIES!!!!! THEY AREN'T SPECIAL!!!!! THEY'RE NOT EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE THE MAIN CHARACTERS!!!
i just remembered that tumblr dash automatically cuts long posts off anyway so i'm going to keep going
anyway, i don't want to say i was wrong, but i get the sense that the whole "being written out of existence" stuff might actually not be right, and i'm even more confused by the choices they've made this season than ever because otherwise WHAT WAS THE POINT!!! it's a gun, it needs to go off!!! jesus!!!!!
"some kind of institutional problem" allllllmoooooost touching on the main themes!!!! i'm sure this won't get muddled or undermined at all by one of the main character's (who isn't supposed to be a main character!!!!!!) actions
they're not seriously doing gabriel/beezlebub are they? i thought that was a collective joke? right, guys? right????
aww. flashback of anna as beezlebub. i loved her, she's such a good actress. go watch north and south, she has a small role but it's a fantastic mini series. or, god bletchly circle! anyway, either are better than wasting your time on this shit. (no shade to shelley conn, she's been great! i just am not as familiar with her filmography. bridgerton? most recently, i think?)
anyway, gabriel, you really don't recognize beezlebub with the fucking giant fly hat? really?
oh no. we're like actually doing a speed run of beezlebub/gabriel. why. just why.
the inconsistencies in the miracle use is driving me insane. why can crowley bring someone back from the dead (mustache man) but like aziraphale couldn't miracle people out of the shop earlier? one seems a bit more outside the range of certain abilities aka life and death
why is this even a question posed to either gabriel or beezlebub? why suddenly allow them to run away? they pitched a big enough fit about azirpahale and crowely
OH! Book of Life mention!
oh okay, that doesn't come to anything. sure. ok.
god they're really hammering home the whole nina/maggie aziraphale/crowley stuff huh. just really hitting us in the head. just. as subtle as a car crash. if only i cared about them. if only we spent time developing them. i'm sure they're attempting to subvert our expectations or whatever bc maggie and nina don't get together (yet. "angel" vomit), but it didn't work.
the crow road by iain banks i'm sure that will have literally anything to do with...... something. eventually.
"like the old times" god i hate that they retconned the meeting. the book meeting in the garden is PERFECT and shouldn't have been fucked with. i'm sure someone much smarter than me can articulate all the reasons why, but literally FUCK the rewrite of their first meeting
"obviously you said no to hell, you're the bad guys" i really thought they couldn't destroy his character more. jesus christ!!!!!!! this is why you don't let ONE HALF of a writing pair take over — of course they're going to write their angsty self insert in whatever way they want (though i do think they did crowley dirty, just not as bad) but GOOD LORD NEIL talk about murdering your irl best friend's character for?? what??
what happened to humanity, what happened to our side, what happened to literally ANY of the growth from s1? (different and better in the book, but along the same vein)
48 minutes into the FINALE and we finally have some semblance of a relevant plot???? the second coming????? why wasn't THIS the plot of season 2?? oh , that's right, so they could milk it for more money. great.
I don't have words. I don't think i'll write anything more on the topic (for the 3 people who have liked this post lmao), but jesus christ, i've never seen something fumble the bag that hard. like, this is actually embarrassing. i went into this with low expectations (didn't think s2 should exist) and by god did they find a shovel and dig.
it's such a disservice to terry prachett just first and foremost. there's a lot of lore about how they passed the drafts back and forth, editing each other into oblivion until their writing was seamless, etc, but it's so very, very clear that neil gaiman needed terry prachett to rein him in, to keep him on message, to... accomplish what the book accomplished. i've only read one other book by gaiman, american gods, and it was a slog in desperate need of a heavy handed editor, and this continues to reaffirm that belief for me.
If you cut out everything — Nina/Maggie, the flashbacks which honestly cheapened Actually Good moments from s1 and juuuust draaaagged oooonnn, all the stupid shit with Gabriel, you’re left with Metatron setting the second coming into motion. that could have been ONE episode, tops.
why did I need SIX episodes to set that up??????
all the info related to it came in the last five minutes anyway!!!!!!
to then hear from neil gaiman himself that s2 was just to set up s3?? to set up the """""REAL""""" sequel?? i'm sorry, you're such a shit writer you couldn't do that from the LITERAL SOURCE MATERIAL?! THAT YOU CO-WROTE?
It’s so clearly a money grab that, while I didn’t really like neil gaiman to start with, has left such a nasty taste in my mouth regarding him. i can't even touch the whole bit about them literally not wanting to write a sequel. deliberately!
what an embarrassment. my expectations were low, but jesus christ
oh gomens season 2 is bad bad, okay
#good omens#good omens season 2#good omens spoilers#i really don't want to be mean but maggie's actor grates on me so much#i really hope she's not in the third season if there is one#because i'll watch it....... but i won't be happy about it#by god was that an embarrasement
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RAM MY BELOVED hello hi happy Valentines (if you celebrate) hi
I just drove home while listening to my tomarry playlist and i need to tell you, i love themb so much and this song (Carnivore by Bear Attack! If the link doesnt work) is such a themb song and omg. I need to go reread love is touching souls. I need to finish typesetting it. I need to stop procrastinating buying printing materials and just bind it into a physical book. Themb.
But also, i was thinking about this fic thats currently sitting partially done in my google docs, thats endgame tomarry but currently drarry. And basic context: Harry becomes the DADA prof after a few years of being a failure of an auror and he and Ginny just finalized their divorce (nothing was Wrong Per Se, Ginny just realised shes a lesbian), and Hermione sets him up with Draco but theyre not really Great together theyre more just meh as a couple, but then Harry accidentally time travels back to 1945 (give ir take a few years) and teaches DADA during Tom's seventh year, and they get together and Harry knits Tom a Weasley sweater and etc etc etc BUT i couldnt figure out how to get them both back to The Present Day while not breaking up Harry and Draco BUT BUT BUT i realized i can just make it hella poly and itd still be cute!
Im telling you all of this as the person who got me into tomarry plus the first person i thought of when i put this playlist on, i hope this hinged-ness finds you well i love you <3
Love the idea of introducing someone else to the Tomarry relationship because we've all seen Tom and how he feels about sharing. Like I feel like any work with Tomarry + another character is like, 40% getting Tomarry together (all the Hurdles and Problems and such with those two) and then 60% Harry slowly making Tom stop hissing at whoever else because he has to share Harry with them and that's his soulmate. Yes even if he likes them too he's just Like That. He's so very not suited to polyamory, it would be extremely entertaining reading a fic trying to make it work.
I remember reading a fic back in Ye Olden Days that was a Drarry snippet with Severus looking in from the outside wishing he could be with Harry but Knowing Deep in his Soul that he was Wrong for him. I'd link it but I'm like 90% sure it was in french and I don't want to go looking through FFnet for it right now haha. Drarry just made me think of it. Oh and there was One good Drarry fic I loved, still in french, by and author who wrote banger after banger (all in french, yeah) on FFnet that introduced baby me to Supermassive Black Hole and the fact that you don't put two condoms on. It's Nothing Else Matters by Rose Malefoy if you want to look at the page and not understand the text haha (yes Malefoy with an e that's how it's spelt in french) Oh and my first Snarry was amnesiac Harry who was with Severus and forgets it so he gets into a relationship with Draco but then remembers and leaves him I think? It's been a while. I used to be into Drarry more but it's been years since I read some, since I discovered Snarry and all.
I think we should combine our poly Tomarry AUs to inflict the maximum amount of Situations on theses guys. Like throw in Draco throw in Severus and then let them take years and a lot of therapy to disentangle that mess and make a working polycule out of it. A bit like when you plop Sims in a house with full autonomy and wait for them to do something cool like starving themselves or making out with their brother's wife, except here I hope they'd figure it out and get a good ending at some point. Anyway.
Oh and in Tomarry news if you haven't tackled Draw me after you (let us run) by Toastranger you should go for it because now after about 200k words and 44 chapters Things have been Happening 👀 (I'm not subtle, they finally kissed is what happened) extremely fun fic, highly recommend once again. That said it is a time investment because I love long works
Your song rec is actually making me realise I don't have Tomarry songs? I have Obikin songs I have plenty of Snarry songs I have Johnlock songs and Kylux songs but nothing for these two. Ah well. I mean I guess The bog in the valley by the Irish Rovers is kind of a Harrymort song because it's a part of Dark Livestream but that's not very Tomarry specific. OH WAIT NO I do!! In the Daylight Again by Duplicity is named after a line from Salt and the Sea by the Lumineers so. One (1) Tomarry song. Good fic too, I can't make myself rereading it because it hurts my feelings :(( but it's really good
Cool song you got though! I've added it to my current playlist, love finding songs through other people and associating them to random stuff like that.
Anyway love you hope you have a good evening come back whenever you want <3
#also did you see. i'm going to the uk next year!!!!!#i need to say it to everyone i'm so fucking happy right now#i'm going.... i'm going!#and i'll send you a postcard <3#very unrelated#this actually got me thinking about the forgotten tom/harry/severus au thing#like originally i couldn't decide if i wanted it to be omegaverse or not so it had omegaverse elements but i ended up dropping it#too busy y'know#i just love the combo of tom Jealousy riddle severus Insecurity snape and harry Make-a-fucking-effort potter :')))#put them all in the same room and watch them suffer etc etc#i'm soooo not a multishipper though most of the time so my vision of the characters is influenced by that#this is just making me think about the island time travel tomarry#like it must be in my reclist from last time so i won't give it again because i forget the title and i don't wanna go lookig for it rn#but yeah.#ANYWAY.#wow i have an asks tag now#fandom nerdery
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ok tumblr like. deleted my last post about this for some reason but i decided to do a post midnight first-time back to back listen of phoebe bridgers stranger in the alps and besties it was a bad idea y'all weren't kidding about phoebe being sad girl indie hjgkjhfhgdhgfj
#like ok i would be fine if we could stop talking about death here thank you pheebs#now i need to cheer up by listening to other phoebe. smelly cat. smelly cat. what are they feeding you#ngl I never got into friends BUT I'll watch it with the irls so even if it's not my thing it's a happy show to me#i won't actively seek out watching it on my own but it's a good vibe show by association#also my friends say I'm phoebe. i take it as a compliment. by choice. i love phoebe from what ive seen of her.#seriously though i'm putting a pause on bridgers rn because it's a GREAT album but like#like on one hand i feel seen in regards to mtneal health issues but on the other. ow. ouch hey stop it ow#I won't get into it but i hit funeral and would you rather and yeah no not for me#but scott street/smoke signals/ motion sickness are bops
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I feel like crying.
#dragon's stupid thoughts#today sucked#first that shit with the docs appointment - this happened already once before and I think it was the same receptionist and I think she#remembered last time too. fucking sucks TWICE AS MUCH#then my gold randomizer didn't want to work the way I wanted it to#the magmatoar in my fire type only brilliant diamond run disobeys me cuz it's traded#and the worst of all: my co intern at work#she makes me always feel so miserable#the way she's ''jokingly mocking'' me drives me crazy. and then she's always like ''omg. don't take everything so seriously 😒😒🙄🙄''#*while playing minecraft* she: 'oooh i see your house! your house that's made out of wood! and i coincidentally have a flint stone with me!#and when I told her to stay away she got offended and told me i can't take a joke#i think this was yesterday#today she was telling the teen i was playing with to punch me so i fall down#previously (some weeks ago. the first ones of the internship even?) she told like every teen that we were playing with to attack and kill m#I've already mentioned the uno one once but. where she sets up rules which obviously malefit me specifically#if you ask ''whos turn is it'' you have to draw a punishment card#this rule just makes me say nothing anymore. fuck you. i won't say a thing every again.#i feel like an idiot because of her#i already have a low self esteem / confidence and then denying that my beanie hat add coolness to me (for me) just makes me feel awful#makes me feel like a clown#i feel like trash thanks to her. hope you're happy and found some joy in making fun of me. in ridiculing me.#i fucking hated today but heeeyyyy at least i started the comic!! joy..#[ETA:#all of this made me wish once again that I have some SO waiting for me at home. that they are excited and happy to see me.#then we'll drink hot chocolate together. on a couch getting all cozy with fluffy blankets. cuddling and snuggling. while I tell them about#my day. then I'll watch them play something. maybe animal crossing. and I'll be slowly falling asleep on their shoulder. then they'll lift#me up and carry me to my bed and tug me in. and like just in general make me feel loved and valued#is this too much to ask for#]
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Honestly a lot of my favorite horror ends up being games I 100% will never play and wouldn't enjoy playing, but that I managed to find someone who was able to convey enough to me to make me really care (though often leaving holes that I really want to fill but either can't sit through the whole playthough, or can't find the right playthrough, or... similar, you know?)
Dead Space, Marrow, Siren... all games I really like, games that have a lot (or uh... what's it called... Som... Sola... Signalis!)
But Dead Space I can't find the right playthrough, and Marrow I just crave something more from an imperfect game (video I watched is by doshdoshington)
Or supergreatfriend's playthrough of Siren is pretty much flawless... but... it's like 59 15-30mintue long videos, and the 60th explainer video is nearly 3 hours long on it's own... I always make it like 20 videos in before not being able to pay attention anymore
(Also like his playthrough of Deadly Premonition)
So you maybe see my problem, all these great pieces of horror I can really only engage with through these weird one off means that never quite leave me satisfied (like no way I'm beating MyHouse.WAD, I'm not even close to that good nor do I enjoy playing DOOM even if I respect it)
Love horror, just can't stand anything made in the genre because it all sucks and is boring and has stupid twists or pacing that annoys me and I hate everything about it except a few gems I can't interact with
But like I said, love horror
#mm tag so i can find things later#I'm just so so so so so so so so so so so so picky with horror#and it's not that my taste is objectively right; even though I am right about... mhh...#I'm right about things like shaky cam as a genre sucking not only cause of the way it's filmed but cause of the writing#but I'm not write about Saw being bland boring shit; that one's just a preference#like I know the first one's bold; and I'm not here to ruin other people's fun cause that's not an objective statement#but the difference is that the Saw movies might be well made and I can't tell; where as a lot of shaky cam are just trash#and oh how many movies have an interesting premise but have annoying 20 somethings#yes I would like to hear about Paris catacombs horror; and what a good title you have... why do your characters sound so annoying#first and foremost your characters must not annoy me#new Alien was good in part because only one character annoyed me; and while he got people killed he died#it's not that he deserved to die; but I was happy to be rid of him#and the original Alien is good because no one annoys me#that's not enough to make a movie good... but it sure is something that's probably true if I'm gonna like a horror movie#not based around something that could happen in the real world like a serial killer getting someone to let him spend the night#and people don't fucking annoy me... if you've done that... proceed and I'll take a look#but if you do the first one I'll take my leave without assessing your quality#and if you do the second one I won't even fucking watch you and if I do I'm almost certain to be bored and skip through you#conflict with the horror is so much more interesting to me than people being bitchy at each other#like Dead Space... that's different; unitoligists (for one thing; aren't a monolith; there's good people there) aren't catty#they're not annoying snippy little bitches who act like high schoolers#like yeah fuck that guy who made the regenerator both cause he's awful and cause that's a horrible enemy type#but at least he was just a crazy asshole with a civilized veneer and not an unstable 20 something that'll kill their friend with a rock#like you don't write all this stupid shit if you don't care about something#but I just have such trouble finding anything to enjoy in horror#love it though; really really do#oh add System Shock to the list of games I can't find a way to even get into; but really like and respect and wish I could
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reluctantly unmuted the canes on twitter for ✨reasons✨, and immediately got a canes reporter's tweet at the top of my dash, upon refresh. yay .. can't wait for this new era 😐
#i fear i can no longer ignore the reality of things#i've been staying quiet bc everyone is happy about it but i Am Not#take a shot every time i mention how i used to be a canes enjoyer because of a certain ✨someone✨#and these certain people ended up on the same team last year#and this year one's on the other's ex team and the other's on the one's childhood fav team#i love confusing myself by typing these without using names lol#not even sure why i'm avoiding them atp it started with simple reasons then got so complicated that it almost cancelled everything out#anyway. maybe i'll continue to stay quiet bc i don't really know what to say or how to feel anymore#haven't posted about ✨him✨ in 7 months. what's 7 more right?#i've said i will never stop loving him and i meant that with my whole heart i will never stop wanting what's best for him#i'm not even sure i'll ever love anyone as much as i've loved him. truthfully. it's that serious#the reason i understand what true love even means is bc of how i've felt for him for.. my gosh. 8 years now?#that doesn't even sound right. what the fuck. EIGHT YEARS????#i wanna be supportive but as a habs fan and someone who's been pissed off by c*rolina one too many times.... idk man !#idk. idk.#i think he's playing tonight so yeah i'm probably just gonna watch and support him this szn but won't be vocal about it online#it's the fact he went to one of the selective teams that are an absolute hell no for me lmao#we can make peace for just this season i suppose 🙄#the number change honestly makes it a little easier#rants
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actually, I hope they kill steve in season five because I don't want to come crawling back to watch some shitty spin-off for a glimpse of that man
#steve harrington#stranger things#this is mostly a joke#but they're absolutely going to milk ST before and after season five#and if joe keery appears in any of the spin offs i'm going to watch it#i won't be happy about watching it. but i will#because i'll take any steve crumbs the duffers toss me#go boys. give us nothing
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Arcane Characters Make Food for You
Pairing: Jinx, Vi, Caitlyn, Maddie, Ekko, Vander, Silco, Sevika, Viktor, Jayce, Mel x Fem!Reader
Tags: fluff, established relationship, domestic fluff, kissing, making food, teasing
Ko-Fi | Rules | Fandoms and Characters
A/N: I already wrote this on my old blog but now is a good time to re-write it.
Jinx knows how to cook pretty well, surprisingly enough. Or maybe not so surprisingly given how she's always the one making things and experimenting. However that also means she might make some really weird meals.
It's something you'll have to deal with if you're with her and might have to develop a strong stomach. She already has it because she grew up in Zaun and ate a lot of different things. For you she wouldn't recommend some of them yet and she will try her best to make something that you'll like. And she won't get too offended if you don't eat her cooking right away.
"I made ya some breakfast, ta-da! It's a little sticky but don't worry, eat your fill and I'll clean up the mess later. Don't look at it like that, it might not look pretty but I promise ya it's so good. I could eat this every day. I hope I'll get to eat it together it with ya every day, sugar."
Vi doesn't know how to cook because she never had the opportunity to learn. The first few dishes are bad, like really bad, almost burn the toast and eggs type of bad but Vi she isn't the kind of person to give up. She'll keep trying until she gets it right.
There have been times where she did burn things and she won't let you eat it since it's not right. She wants you to have the best of the best, even if she didn't. Might get a little distracted when you're in the kitchen with her so she prefers to cook by herself even if you're there with her. Regardless of how many times she gets it wrong she at least wants to learn to cook your favorite.
"Yes, this is burned toast but this time it's not my fault, it's yours. Well you're the one who walked in here looking all cute and distracted me. One kiss is all it takes if it's from you, sweet stuff. Sit down and let me do this right and if you do you'll get something sweeter than this."
Caitlyn knows how to cook really well. She did grow up with people doing the cooking for her however she was curious and wanted to learn how to do it on her own. She's a very hand-on learner, now she can use some of her skills to make you happy.
She gets up really early anyways so she might as well make breakfast for the both of you. The first time she brings you breakfast in bed she thinks your reaction is cute, the way you stare at her, eyes wide and drooling over the food. For her it's not odd to have breakfast in bed. And if you stick with her you'll get used to her pampering you. Be sure to tell her how the food tastes.
"Good morning, darling, I brought you something. See, I didn't just brag about my cooking skills, this is me showing you I can cook. Showing off? Suppose I am a little bit, it's not my fault you didn't really think I would bring you breakfast in bed."
Maddie can cook some dishes but she can cook them well. Her skills aren't anything impressive but they don't need to be because she can get take out too. But she is more than happy to share what ever she makes with you.
She falls back on take out more often than she would like to admit. However not when she invites you over to her place, then she will put her best foot forward. A lot of that is because she wants to impress you hard, but it also gets her to work on her skills either way she wins. She keeps looking at you very intently while you take that first bite. Thankfully she doesn't seem to do a bad job if your smile is anything to go by.
"I'm not weird for watching you eat, it's called being smitten, gorgeous. Anything you do is interesting to me, you know that by now. This isn't empty flattery. I already got you to eat my cooking, I don't need to butter you up at this point."
Ekko isn't the best cook out there, he will be completely honest with you. While he does know the basic things you can't really expect anything fancy. If anything he focuses more on the dish being filling than tasty.
The thing about him cooking for the two of you is that he can only do it on his free time, which isn't a lot. Therefore he wants to make it a bonding activity. A cute date of sorts, mostly in the late evening when the rest of work is done. Sometimes he will try to surprise you but its hard when his living space isn't that big and everyone knows everything in the Firelights. The gesture counts.
"There wasn't much time so it's pretty simple, but at least it's your favorite, Firefly. No, I actually finished the new project, I had extra time to kill. Please, don't thank me! It seemed only right for me to make you something after you cheered me up this morning."
Vander knows how to cook really, really well. He kids to raise, and he was on his own for a very long time, he had to become a good cook. Plus he makes awesome drinks, being a good cook was a bonus skill for him.
He's always the first one to wake up and start the day in the Last Drop and he always makes breakfast for everyone. Not just breakfast but every meal, his kids need to eat a lot, there's always a little left over for later. Even if he feels a little sleepy himself he at least wants to put something on the table. It's the dad instincts in him. And husband instincts, hopefully.
"Don't ya even think about sneaking up on me right now, darlin'. I've got a pan full of sizzling hot oil in my hand, I don't want it all over us. Hugs are fine, I always love ya being close to me, but keep your hands to yourself. We both know ya get handsy in the morning."
Silco didn't know how to cook before he adopted Jinx, since then he's had to learn. It wasn't easy but now he does know a lot and he can impress the woman he's dating. Now when you stay over you can expect good for for your date, and good food when you wake up.
When the dating gets more serious he lets you help him cook, but until then he pretty much does it on his own. Jinx will go nowhere near the kitchen alone, not after that one explosion. He does have a list of recipes that he makes the most. And a few that he made up. Sometimes ingredients are hard to come by so he needs to improvise.
"Pass me the flour would you, love? This time I will follow the recipe, yes, the last time there was a bit too much sugar in there. I know you liked it but it's not the healthiest thing now is it? Fine, call me a worried dad, I know you think it's attractive."
Sevika isn't able too cook that well, she never was, she always liked others cooking for her though. However when you tease her about it she takes it as a challenge. And you know damn well that she doesn't back down from a challenge.
Curses a lot when she messes up, though you can bet that she's not gonna let food be the thing that beats her. When you walk into the kitchen it's a mess which will take a while to clean up. But at least she managed to make the dish this time and it's quite good. For her hard work you give her a very passionate kiss and that just makes her wanna work harder. That's the best reward she can ask for.
"One kiss for at that work, doll? I think I earned myself a little more than that, maybe you on the table instead of all this food. Yeah, I know it's gonna get cold, you're right. Can't let all this hard work go to waste, but when we're done we have to work all that food off."
Viktor doesn't have as much time to cook as he could if he worked a bit less. Not that his skills are award worthy but he can make a few things, at least in his opinion. Give his cooking a chance.
When he was a student in the academy he had to learn how to make quick meals and that is where most of his strength is. Just very simple dishes but he knows how to make them well. There are times when he himself forgets to eat so he makes sure he gets a good meal when he can. If you're part of that that's even better. Having you eat his cooking makes cooking more fun.
"If you think cooking this is so easy then you make it will you, beautiful? Ah so now you like it, I see how it is. I'm just kidding, I love making food for you when I can. But if you want to make it yourself please let me do a taste test first. I promise to be brutally honest, just like you are with me."
Jayce has absolutely no skills in the kitchen unless you need him to fix or build things in there. He knows this too and will admit it right away. Trust him he is much better in science than in cooking food.
That being said he will join you in the kitchen when you cook. He takes an interest in it because the way you cook makes his mouth water. When he learns about what your favorite food is he wants to lean how to cook it. However he does this in secret because he wants to surprise you. Sure enough he's able to get the biggest smile out of you when he presents you with your favorite meal.
"I learned it secretly, all for you, babe. Well I am quite good with my hands and I enjoy working, that was just another excuse to learn. Of course I don't have an ulterior motive for it! But if I did... and if it was kissing... would you kiss me for doing a good job?"
Mel is actually an amazing cook and knows a ton of recipes. Including your favorites of course. Do you really think she'd invite you over and offer you nothing to eat?
It's been a long time since she had to cook for anyone but herself but she's not bad at it at all. She has high standards when it comes to good food specifically because she holds herself to high standards. It doesn't matter how simple or complicated the meal is. When she invites you over and offers to make you food you better believe you're eating good that night. Not strictly food either.
"Beloved, slow down a little, the food isn't going anywhere and neither am I. We have all night. Every time I make food I do so because I want to enjoy a good meal, and you should too. And please be careful, I don't want you to choke, on the food that is."
#arcane x reader#jinx x reader#vi x reader#caitlyn x reader#maddie x reader#ekko x reader#vander x reader#silco x reader#sevika x reder#viktor x reader#jayce x reader#mel x reader#arcane imagine#arcane headcanon#arcane fluff#arcane x you#league of legends x reader#league of legends imagine#league of legends headcanons#league of legends fluff#league of legends x you#arcane x female reader#league of legends x female reader#x female reader#arcane#league of legends
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𝅄⠀⠀ㅤׂ ⠀sleepy gf quiet gamer bf, smut⠀ 𓈒⠀⠀✧
"that's it, baby, that's it, there we go, that's my girl," matt groans softly as you sink down onto his cock, the soft, wet squelching sound making his thighs tense faintly beneath you. he almost whimpers at the sight of you so blissed out, so sleepy but needy for him to fuck you. you'd woken up minutes before, soaked with need. he was surprised, to realise how wet you were, all because of him. but he was on call with his friends, so the two of you needed to be quiet.
being quiet was most definitely not your thing.
you were characteristically loud when in bed with matt. it wasn't your fault, necessarily. matt made you see fucking stars. so the blame for your borderline pornographic moans couldn't be placed solely on you. it was as much matt's fault as it was yours. as much as matt loved your pretty sounds, he also didn't want his friends overhearing the two of you when he was supposed to be focused on winning.
"gotta be quiet, ma," matt grunts, realising his friends are getting a little suspicious of how long his mic had been turned off. he would've kept it off the whole time so he could fuck your tight little hole as much as he wanted to, as much as the two of you wanted, but still. "don't want them to hear you, do you? hear how good you feel when i fuck you, huh?" you shake your head, to respond, but also to try shake away some of your drowsiness.
"don't want them to hear me," you agree quietly, slowly grinding your hips as you simultaneously shimmied a little more out of your fluffy pajama bottoms, the soft material brushing against matt's thighs causing him to groan a little bit. "gonna turn my mic back on, okay? gotta stay quiet for me." he turns it on, as promised, and he laughs at his friend's responses, giving you a quick look in the process.
you had to be quiet, because matt wouldn't be happy if you weren't. you knew what he was like when that happened, he was so unfair. your hands grasp at his shirt a little, as you shift your weight, and quiet little sounds slip past his lips at the way you move. he'd call you a tease if he didn't know how sleepy you were. no way you'd tease him in a state like this. his half-lidded blue eyes flutter over you and he smirks to himself, his hands preoccupied with the controller as he played.
it was up to you to get off, the look in his eyes told you. matt was busy with his game. he couldn't bounce you on his dick like he usually would, or hold you down so you could grind, no, you had to use your pretty head and think for yourself without his help for once. so cruel of him. you were the one who came to him all needy and horny in the first place, after all.
"mmh," you whine pathetically, under your breath, just quiet enough so matt's mic won't pick it up. he laughs at you, chuckles at how needy you are, mumbling under his breath, "go on then, baby, i can't help you." he's so mean, you think to yourself, as you try to lift your hips up and down on him. a low grunt slips past his lips, your walls gliding up and down on him.
"you're so mean," you huff out, trying to gain a momentum. you're so tired, as are your thighs, so moving is practically impossible. matt watches you for a moment, the impossibly slow pace you're setting making arousal coil in his stomach. he can barely stay quiet, grunts escaping him occasionally. "i ain't mean, baby, jus' busy." he was being unfair and he knew it.
this goes on for another fifteen minutes or so. you leaking on his dick, making a mess, unable to chase that releass you so dearly crave.
all while he laughs and jokes with his friends about a round of a game you honestly couldn't give two shits about.
eventually, he feels the tiniest shred of mercy. matt notices how sleepy you are and the way you're about to fall asleep with him inside, and he takes pity on you, deciding on finding a way to wrap up his gaming session with his boys. "s'gettin' late and i gotta do some shit in the mornin', but i'll catch up with you guys soon, aight?" his friends grumble agreements, a little disappointed as to their standards it wasn't even that late.
arguably 3am was late, but okay.
you don't start whining and whinging until you're absolutely sure his friends are gone, and it's like a dam's been broken the moment you are. "matt, please," you beg, "please, please.. wanna.. touch me, please," it's pathetic and whiny and you're absolutely not ashamed because he'd been a total dickhead in not helping you and now you just wanted to come. was that so bad?
"so needy, sweetheart.." matt mutters, a coy smirk playing on his lips as he leans back in the gaming chair, watching how you look, sat on him like that. his hands glide over your body, and you mewl at the touch, back arching instinctively. the way your tight walls squeeze him when your back arches urges him to finally give in and give you what you want, his hands sliding down to your hips. "just needed my attention, thought so," he starts slowly grinding his hips, bucking up into you in gentle motions. you let out soft gasps, pretty noises falling to his ears and only encouraging him more.
"that's it.. you ride my cock so pretty, ma," he's practically doing the work for you, since he knows how tired you are, but that doesn't mean he's not proud of you for even trying. his head tilts back, blue eyes watching you as he bounced you. "gonna fuck you so good, babe, make you see stars, huh? couldn't sleep? don't worry, baby, don't worry," he mumbles, oh, he'd get you to sleep. don't worry about it.
๋࣭ ⭑ taglist / @mattslolita , @st7rnioioss , @flairdean , @mattsluv , @bepositiveforachange , @poetatorturadaa , @onlynextdoor
#𐙚˙ ana writes ⋆.˚#matt sturniolo#matt sturniolo x reader#matt sturniolo smut#chris sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#chris sturniolo smut#chris sturniolo x reader
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