#because i'll have a better sense what role each one needs to take

[grimaldiapologist]

There's also the repeat references to their father's cruelty towards them. They did not get an upbringing which would foster care for anyone but each other. I'm looking at this from a perspective that makes this personally stand out to me, but while subtle, there is a very significant narrative with the two of prolonged childhood trauma, which has had them in a survival mode their whole lives.

Then their father is no longer there and for the first time, they're not fearing the consequences of breathing wrong. The only thing they've learned through and through is that they have no one else but each other, and combined with their other damage, this has become to the exclusion of everybody else - a trait you do not want to see in an emperor. Put two of them together, and they'll end up in a self-perpetuating cycle of becoming the worst of themselves, because their sole meaningful audience can always only make them worse.

With Caracalla's illness, he is constantly further pushing Geta out of any potential other path that he had. Most of Geta's rule consists of trying to stop his brother from self-destructing through his uncontrollable behaviour and catering to his desires to keep him stable/satisfied. Despite this, throughout the film, he shows some promise: he asks Caracalla first, for example, when deciding the fate of a gladiator. A surprise to no one, Caracalla tells him he'd like to "see some blood", but this is clearly not the answer that Geta wanted to hear, so he asks Lucille also, under the guise of her being their guest. She tells him to show mercy - and he does.

Later, take this with a grain of salt since I've only seen the movie once (fixing this in a couple hours however so if I'm utterly wrong maybe I'll come back to correct myself here), Geta is the one who hesitates on initially commanding Acacius's death, when the crowd shows such preference for him. Surely - he ends up calling for it with his whole chest when disobeyed, but there is a moment there where he thinks, this is not the right choice to make.

But what Geta is above all other things, is a survivor of childhood abuse who made it his purpose to protect his weaker brother. Shoved into a position of ultimate power, he does not change from this. And Caracalla, at this point, simply is not capable of being more to him than someone he desperately needs to retain his sense of safety and stability in a world which is unpredictable and uncaring toward him. The only person he loves, and trusts to truly love him in return, even if the glimpses to that side of him are slipping from their hands by the day.

While in his role as the emperor and his brother's primary and only caretaker, what Geta ends up doing is look for a father figure. Someone who could advice him in the matters of the realm - but who also cares for him, and would provide safety and stability both for himself and Caracalla. They are VERY young men who never had the experience of being protected, or being kindly guided through their responsibilities. They are surrounded by sycophants and enemies. They latch onto and immediately trust the only person in their circle who, they think, shows them genuine care and concern. Who becomes a true friend. The fact that Geta ultimately asks for Macrinus to be the one to go talk to Caracalla, to calm him down, and then for the second time that night asks him for help helping his brother when things are going very wrong? That takes an insane amount of sincere trust from him - Caracalla is his primary responsibility, but with Macrinus around, he begins to trust that maybe he does not have to be alone with that responsibility, and maybe, for the first time, he can allow himself to think of his empire, too.

They are incredibly naive and desperate for protectors and parents. It's easy to see with Caracalla, whose illness makes his behaviour lapse so often to regression and childlike states. But Geta is by no means any better.

This all, of course, followed by the disclaimer that Geta's still a monster in the making who is seen to clearly enjoy and delight in the suffering of others, and will not hesitate to call for the heads of those who do wrong against him. But he shows that he is capable of second-guessing these instincts. The reason he rarely does is that he has no one who cares about him and who could help him choose another path, and as much as he remains the stronger and more coherent brother, Caracalla is the only person who he can allow himself to fully, unconditionally love, and whom he feels connected with. And Caracalla's judgement will always be "I'd like to see some blood".

They could have been better, though. If they didn't grow up raised by fucking wolves.

From the way Geta and Caracalla reacted to Acacius' and Lucilla's betrayal to their fear of the people's wrath against them, you can really tell how young and inexperienced these two really were.

Yes, they had an almost complete disregard of their subjects needs and, yes, they were heading straight to madness but there is also a tragedy to their stories. They were given great power at a young age, Caracalla's mind was all but gone and Geta showed signs of an unhinged character. They had no one to rely on except each other and seemed eager to have someone that they can trust.

But their madness also makes you wonder, how much of it can also be blamed on their position? These two would probably have different demeanors (and most certainly different fates) if they had never become Emperors which makes you realize how power can truly corrupt and destroy people and even display their true characters.

[elytrafemme]

i'll post some pictures later but today was another productive day in pokémon black!! i'm at driftveil city now (think i got the name right?). current team is Dewott (endgame), Pansear, Timburr, Cottonee (endgame), Herdier, and Krokorok (endgame). i'm enjoying the plot so far -- i somehow get very stressed with games that are relatively low stress, haha, so i have some difficulty navigating the routes and things. but i genuinely do like the two rivals, bianca is a lesbian in my heart (sorry) but like... they feel very sweet and compelling, i can imagine how all of them would be childhood friends :') also N is pretty interesting though i didn't understand what the fuck was happening in the ferris wheel scene because sometimes pokémon dialogue is strange lol. not sure if it's no fun to look up the kind of pokémon i can encounter in each place but i am dyinggg to know when i can see some more type variation... i have like ZERO flying type counters and those are the only pokémon you run into ever.

[hiitsm]

Bound by Trust: Navigating Turbulance Together

Part 3.

You hesitate to open up to your girlfriend about what's happening at home because you've been explicitly instructed not to share it with anyone.

Angst, Hurt, a little bit detailed physical abuse by a parent (reader's), lot's of Comfort & Fluff

-

Part 1 , Part 2

Kindness

-

"And we talked to Ingrid's parents through FaceTime the whole night. I don't understand much of the Norwegian language, but I'm trying. I'm even doing better with Duolingo, you know," Mapi had been chatting non-stop in the car since you and Alexia picked her up from her place. Now, a little late, you headed straight to class and emerged two hours later, feeling utterly exhausted.

With Mapi sandwiched between you and Alexia, you made your way back. Ingrid had already been in class ahead of you three, working on her own project with other classmates.

"Mapi, we love you, but we're going to drop you with Ingrid now. You can talk her ears off now," Alexia playfully announced, gently pushing Mapi towards Ingrid as class finally ended.

"You can't get rid of me, Ale, we have football practice now," Mapi exclaimed, flashing Alexia a wide grin. You couldn't help but sigh inwardly; you had completely forgotten about Alexia's practice this afternoon. You had been hoping for a little bit of time together.

Sensing your disappointment, Alexia turned to you with a hopeful smile. "You and Ingrid can come watch us?" she suggested, her eyes bright with anticipation.

"I actually can't, I need to finish some papers," Ingrid replied with an apologetic smile.

"It's okay, I'll watch the two of them by myself with my own homemade ham and cheese sandwich," you declared, already imagining the delicious treat. After all, you were quite the foodie.

"Amor, you made one for me too, right?" Alexia interjected, her expression hopeful.

"Of course, mi vida. I think you would break up with me if I didn't make you one," you teased, rolling your eyes playfully.

As you sat outside on the bleachers and watched the team emerge from the locker rooms, Alexia shot you a grin, taking a hearty bite of her ham and cheese sandwich. You couldn't help but smile; watching her devour the sandwich in one swift motion was almost as impressive as her skills on the field.

You've always loved watching her play football. Her determination is inspiring, and her coaching skills are nothing short of amazing. With each movement on the field, she exudes confidence and passion, leaving you in awe of her abilities.

"Did you like watching me?" you hear from afar, Alexia walking up to you.

"I'll always like watching you, you are absolutely amazing, Ale!" you cheer, feeling a rush of pride for your girlfriend's talent. She sits next to you, and you lean your head on her shoulder.

"I'll have to leave soon to score some dinner before my practice," you tell her quietly.

"I can come with you so we can have dinner together," she offers, and it makes your heart flutter with warmth.

"Ale, I love you, but it's Thursday. Your mother always makes your favorite on Thursdays," you remind her with a chuckle.

"That's true amor, you know me so well. But are you sure you'll be fine on your own? Do I need to pick you up after practice?" she asks softly, her concern evident.

"I'll be fine, amor. You're exhausted and should go home to rest. If it makes you feel a bit better, I'll text you as much as I can. Deal?" you propose, offering her a reassuring smile.

"Deal," she agrees with a nod. "Now you need to kiss me, or the deal won't work," she adds with a playful grin.

You roll your eyes at her playful demand but lean in anyway, sealing the deal with a tender kiss.

As you had dinner alone and then headed to practice, things didn't quite click on the field. Trying out the defensive midfield role left you feeling out of sorts, but you tried to convince yourself that you just needed more time to adjust. By the time practice was over, you were exhausted and relieved to see your father waiting to pick you up.

The car ride home was silent, save for the soft hum of the radio. Wanting to reassure Alexia, you quickly sent her a text, letting her know that you were on your way home after a draining football practice.

Suddenly, your father broke the silence. "Things were a bit tense at home today, so you should be careful with your words and how you approach her," he advised, his words always leaving you feeling uncertain and insecure.

"Okay, I'll just be myself," you replied quietly, mentally preparing yourself for what awaited you at home. Your father sent you a reassuring smile, but deep down, you couldn't help but feel conflicted. All you ever wanted was to be yourself without constantly worrying about setting off a bomb with every word or action. You couldn't blame your father for his caution, but a part of you resented the constraints it placed on you.

As you walked into the living room, your mother was immersed in her work at the dining table, papers scattered around her. You greeted her with a simple "hi" and shared a bit about your football practice. Everything seemed normal, until your father retired to bed and exhaustion pulled you towards your own room.

"Are you going to your bedroom to sleep or to scroll on your phone all night?" her voice suddenly cut through the air, sharp and accusatory.

"To sleep, like always," you replied, confusion evident on your face. Sure, you might send a text or two to your girlfriend, but nothing out of the ordinary.

"I don't believe you. And why weren't you here for dinner?" she pressed, stepping closer to you. You instinctively took a few steps back until your back met the wall.

"I had football practice, and I always have dinner at university before that. You know that, right?" you answered quietly, trying to keep the situation from escalating.

"So now you think I don't know about your hobbies?" she erupted, her voice escalating to a scream. Gripping your right arm tightly, she shoved you further into the wall, your heart racing with fear and confusion. What had you done wrong?

"Mom, please, can I go to bed?" you pleaded, tears beginning to stream down your face. But before you knew it, she lashed out violently with her fist, while still gripping onto your arm with her other hand.

Terrified and desperate to escape, you managed to break free from her grasp and fled to the door. "This is not okay," you declared, tears now flowing freely. "This needs to stop."

Your mother's plea for you to stay fell on deaf ears as you grabbed your football bag and ran out the door, knowing you needed space and safety.

In your panicked state, you ran for what felt like miles, your mind consumed by fear and confusion. Eventually, the rational part of your brain urged you to stop and catch your breath. It was cold, and you realized you didn't even have a coat on. Lost and disoriented, you fumbled for your phone in your training pants and dialed the only person you knew you could turn to: Alexia.

"Hola amor, how was practice?" her soft voice greeted you, instantly causing tears to well up in your eyes

"Alexia," you managed to choke out between sobs.

"Si, bebe, what's going on? Are you okay?" her concern was palpable, and you could hear the shuffling of movement on the other end of the line.

"Alexia, my mother hurt me," you trailed off, unable to articulate the turmoil raging inside you.

"Amor, where are you? Please keep talking to me" Alexia's voice was steady, but you could sense the worry beneath the surface.

"I don't know where I am," you admitted, your panic rising.

"Can you describe what you see?" Alexia's tone remained gentle as she tried to guide you through the chaos.

You strained to describe your surroundings, hoping that Alexia would somehow find her way to you. In the background, you could hear hushed voices, likely Alexia speaking to her mother, and you clung to the hope that help was on its way.

-

I'll be back next week :)

[alistair-blackwood]

kb/ms is truly transcendental yaoi, spectacular, amazing, 10/10, no notes ... from the perspective of a mithrun enjoyer

as a kabru enjoyer, however...

I'll start off by saying that of course Kabru doesn't want or need a romantic relationship to be fulfilled, especially not with a white man, none of them do, it's all non-canon, Dungeon Meshi isn't about romance or shipping, yes yes yes, but none of us are here for that right now!! We're here to fruitlessly argue why my blorbos kissing makes more sense than your blorbos kissing!! You know it, I know it, none of us are free of cringe!! Clown on clown violence!!

That being said ... 🤡

I just don't see what Kabru gets out of kb/ms. With Mithrun, it makes sense; Kabru has a huge impact on him and ultimately helps him reaffirm his will to live. That's very exquisite drama and excellent character writing. But with Kabru, I just don't feel that Mithrun's character interacts with his personal flaws and would instigate his growth anywhere close to the same degree. I have to imagine most fics involving them focus more on Mithrun's baggage and how Kabru helps him heal from that ... because that's mostly all that happens between them in the main story, lol!

And like, that makes sense, because ultimately chapters 61-62 aren't about Kabru and Mithrun; they're about Kabru working through his conflicted feelings in helping Laios conquer the dungeon. I think it's ironic seeing people complain about kb/ms having Kabru be Mithrun's accessory when, if anything, Mithrun's main narrative purpose, outside of illustrating the danger of the Winged Lion, is to serve as Kabru's obstacle. I'd even argue Mithrun represents Kabru's personal bad ending; Mithrun wants him to kill Laios and surrender the dungeon to the canaries, preventing the short-lived races from ever understanding how dungeons function and returning to the status quo that had gotten Utaya destroyed. It's only when Laios practically forces Kabru, straight up puts his thumbs to the screws, to work past his reticence and be emotionally vulnerable that Kabru finally puts himself on the right path to achieve his goals (it's, uh, still a bit of a bumpy ride, but they get there in the end, lol!). If he'd been this way with Laios from the beginning, he might have understood Laios' intentions from the start and saved himself a lot of pain, but it's only because of Laios' influence that Kabru is able to grow as a character and get his happy ending.

(And even if one were a Mithrun enjoyer, ultimately the main source of Mithrun's life affirmation comes from the canaries. In that final scene, Kabru gets the ball rolling because he's outside of the canary hierarchy, but the scene ends with Mithrun being embraced by the canaries and as far as I'm aware the two don't interact with or reference each other post canon at all. Hell, it's Senshi who really drives the point home. Not that it matters when we're all wearing shipping goggles here, but it felt remiss not to mention it.)

At most, I can see how taking care of Mithrun would force Kabru to reexamine how poorly he takes care of his own body and that could make for some good drama. But even then, that change is ultimately instigated by Laios' influence on him, an extension of how Kabru wants to understand how Laios can see the value in monsters in an attempt to better understand his own trauma. If a person were to get into Dungeon Meshi specifically for Kabru and wanted to ship him with someone in a way that's most interesting for him, I'd be hard-pressed to argue there's a better choice than Laios (although who'd be cringe enough to do something like that haha right guys ... [sweating])

(Side note, though, I really don't vibe with the argument that kb/ms "reduces Kabru to a caretaker role" and that's why it's bad. There's plenty of instances where Kabru shoulders his friends' burdens (helps Kuro learn common tongue, listens to Daya's fiance about his relationship troubles, etc) and, more importantly, is seemingly happy to do so. I think Kabru genuinely enjoys looking after his friends and in the story seems to find plenty of personal satisfaction getting Mithrun to eat. I understand it has the potential to be more troubling considering Kabru is a brown man and Mithrun is a white man, but idk, it just feels on the same level as people trying to discount labru by saying Laios wouldn't take enough of an interest in people to want to start a romantic relationship, when his whole thing is that he does want to connect with people and just feels like he can't. It's not a bone I feel like picking, haha)

I honesty don't mind characters being "mischaracterized" in fandom or fic even to a large degree, I know it bugs a lot of people but I respect that ultimately fandom is little more than picking up the vague outline of a doll and playing with it and mashing their faces together. Besides, if I'm really worked up about it I can just write a fic and set the record straight myself, haha. This post is merely inspired by the supremely annoying subsection of twitter that acts like labru is the ship where it's just two dudes sitting in a room together. I'm just saying, Kabru ends the series whispering into the ear of another man as his day job and it's not Mithrun lmao

[askinkiskarma]

Okay bestie !! I have another one hehe :P

Imagine Neteyam and Mate who made a deal because they fought for some reason. This leading to the fact that they can't stand eachother so they figure out that they shouldn't have seggs* until one of them loses (y'know because it's in these moments that they are the closer and they just wanna see whose the "weakest").

So there would be this permanent tension and quite of teasing. And the stubbornness the two of them are would refuse to lose this stupid bet even though the desire is damn high... lol

I don't know if it made sense. But it's funny and I am sure you'll make an amazing oneshot out of this (If you decide to write it).

Yeah that's it lovely 💕 muah

Oh and I don't know if you would do these emoji anon things 🤷🏻‍♀️ So I just leave mine here in case hihi 🍨

Hi bestie, sorry for taking me so long, but better late than never i hope x

of course you can be my 🍨 anon!!

wc: 895 words

minors DNI!!!

The tensions in your and your mate's tent were running high, so high you felt they were about to ascend too far up and run orbits around Pandora and come back to you in just a couple minutes. You were both calm people, you thought. You were rational, and tried to solve your issues with logic and empathy. You always listened to each other's point of view and always adjusted yours if it was necessary. Your relationship was the epitome of a healthy, adult relationship and yet, here you were, giving each other dirty looks and silent treatments, for the second day in a row.

"Well, if you're gonna be such an asshole about it, don't even think about make-up sex, or angry sex, or any sort of sex. There will be a lot of apologising that needs to happen before I even consider it again."

"What makes you think I want to have sex with you? You should be the one apologising, you're in the wrong. Also, I'd like to see you try to keep your insatiable little hands away from me. You're a fiend."

"Ha! That's a good one. I bet you're going to come crawling by the end of today."

"Fine. I'll see your bet and raise you one. Whoever caves first gets to be the one to tell Kiri we used all of her very valuable oil she spent months collecting as massage oil so we can role-play."

You watched annoyedly as Neteyam was getting dressed in a new loincloth that hung so damn attractively off his hips, it was making your mouth water. He picked up an intricate, embellished neck piece, one of his favourites (that you made him) and you smirked when he struggled to tighten it around his neck. You made your way to him slowly, enjoying every moment he was struggling, picturing his pout as he knew he needed your help, but was too stubborn to ask, almost as if you were looking straight at it.

You made it a point to drag your fingers up his back gently, slowly, in barely-there touches that you knew he was crazed for, until your hands found his necklace. You felt the small shudder escape him and your smirked widened, almost able to taste the sweet nectar of victory on your tongue.

"Thank you."

"No problem."

Your smirk was promptly erased off your face as he turned, and his eyes, dark and mischievous, glistened with so much arousal, so much ache, it was making you wet just taking it all in, and the man didn't even touch you yet. He was right, you were a fiend. His hand raised to brush your face, and he lowered his head to capture your lips in a kiss, gentle and innocent, that you fought with every fibre of your being to keep that way. It was his turn to grin as he heard your panted breaths loudly in his ears, and he pulled away and left the tent without another word, leaving you desperate and needy.

This continued for days, and by the end of the 5th day, you were both so fucking horny you weren't seeing straight anymore. This was your own personal hell, you concluded. And yet, somehow hell had nothing on the mere thought of letting him win, of proving to him you were weaker than him, of telling Kiri what lewd, unsavoury things you used her precious oil on.

Neteyam's mind was spinning with ache. You were good at this. Too good. He saw you getting dressed, purposefully taking your time, running your hands over your breasts, flickering your nipples almost as if it was an accident, trailing your fingers over your waist and groping your ass to check that your loincloth is tightened properly around your tail. It wasn't, as when you bent over, you gave him a full view of your soaked, dripping cunt as you wrapped beautiful, beaded ankle bracelets on both your ankles. The smell of your arousal hit him like a fucking ton of bricks and he started palming his cock to release some of the painful pressure he has felt for days now. It turns out working and being a productive member of society with a constant erection was harder than Neteyam had anticipated when he made the bet - pun intended.

Fuck this.

You could hear Neteyam. Hear his heaving chest as his eyes landed on you, hear the way he was exhaling through his nose a lot more forcefully than he had just a few seconds ago. You could feel the air in the tent changing, charging, becoming thick with need and anticipation. You knew you won, but you still gasped in shock at the hand that wrapped around your queue and hair, pulling your head backwards, and at the feel of Neteyam's hard cock prodding at your sopping entrance.

"You're not playing fair, yawne. And if I have to crawl on my knees and beg for forgiveness just to feel your pussy milking me dry, I'll do it over and over again. So you win. But you might regret it tomorrow when you're limping on the way to the next mission."

You moaned and smiled at the threat. You couldn't wait.

"Don't leave out any details when you talk to your sister. I want to see you suffer."

[tubbytarchia]

Jimmy EVO thoughts

This is a loooong thread of summarized thoughts (cough 5500 words) of Jimmy in Evo, though mostly his and Martyn's Property Police relationship and how it leads into future treatment of Jimmy, as well as general Jimmy character analysis. Plus some Netty thoughts and such in relation to Jimmy too

Obligatory: I talk about characters only

The following is separated into categories, somewhat, but 90% of that is property police related... Netty and misc thoughts are down below

Shoutout once again to my friend for pointing out some stuff I missed or better than I could

(Martyn's self portrait. Idk felt appropriate)

1. Jimmy and Martyn (Property police) thoughts

Jimmy and Martyn overall are pretty cute and supportive and protective of one another but there are many many instances that Martyn unfairly scolds and plays him down. But then he'll turn around and show some form of care towards Jimmy which leaves me feeling conflicted. The way Martyn treats Jimmy here pretty effortlessly leads into Jimmy's further mistreatment in future SMPs imo

I'm gonna start off with a lot of negative aspects to the Property Police dynamic but trust me ok I've noted down all the cool and nice things too at a later point. As I said they're overall cute and nice!!! There's just a lot... to note... (I'm a big solidwood fan ok. sobs)

1.1 Martyn's caretaker role and the "chief"

All throughout, Martyn keeps bringing up this made-up character "chief" who they speak of as both a sort of boogeyman as well as a parental figure (Jimmy later says the chief is his father)? Like Jimmy causes trouble and Martyn goes "ahh I'm gonna have to tell the chief about this" to which Jimmy tries to plead his case. Or Martyn would express needing the chief to weigh in on whether Jimmy's doing a good enough job as Property Police. This makes sense though given Martyn's self-assigned caretaker role

Martyn largely acts like he needs to be taking care of Jimmy and doesn't trust him when he's alone (will be talked about in depth at the next point) and makes up this police chief character to spook Jimmy but also to, again, serve as some kind of replication of a parental figure... Jimmy himself talks about the chief that way too, saying stuff like "the chief told me to be careful"

There's some kind of pride essential to Martyn that he gets from taking on some kind of provider role, and/or it might be essential to him being able to show affection, at least at this point in time and at least towards Jimmy

Martyn likes to feel depended on and Jimmy does make it feel that way. He's constantly considering Martyn, following him around, supporting him. When he's not there, he frequently talks about him, how he's not here today but will be another time, how he's taking a break, how they'll be doing stuff together later... How they both agree that Jimmy doesn't fare well on his own (and how Jimmy and other people in Jimmy's life will hold onto this belief)

In one episode they're both finding these vacation apartments to buy? and Jimmy goes "can we be next to each other though? I'll miss you too much if we don't" :(

At some point Netty's appalled by how poor Jimmy is so he and Martyn make plans to mine together, and they decide to mine in different directions only for Jimmy to go back to Martyn anyway

I'm so sorry to be a weeb and use a screenshot from Free! of all things but this is Martyn and Jimmy. I don't make the rules

There's also a moment where Jimmy says "I think I might need you" to which Martyn goes "is this you confessing your love to me?" and then they do this bit where they act out the chief talking to them "you can love who you want to love. As long as you do your job right". So basically the chief is validating gay marriage. Awesome

Anyway, Jimmy at several points gets told off by Martyn because he's "fine" and doesn't need Jimmy following him around but what else is he gonna do… you cant just leave him on the street like a lost puppy…

At one point in the SMP, they all get together to take on the ender dragon (after which Grian left). Unfortunately, they don't end up in one End dimension and instead, they all have to fight the Enderdragon by themselves. Jimmy does fantastic. He's very focused and gets it done in spite of a few struggles. He even says "those endermen made me so angry. I haven't been so angry in awhile" when it really didn't show that he was THAT angry when a bunch of them piled on him. He stayed focused and finished the job... Sigh. He can be so confident and competent and good, if only he didn't get played down so frequently just for often getting excited and tunnel visioned easily...

It's implied that the others thought he was gone for good when Jimmy finally made it back to the overworld after some... bliss in the great void? Of course he starts asking himself about Martyn and expressing hope that Martyn's alive. He and Martyn eventually communicate here and there but still don't meet up for awhile longer. Jimmy for this time period is surviving pretty much independently, and even when Martyn starts turning up in his episodes more again, there's much less of Jimmy following Martyn around like he used to, and I think Martyn took note. It feels like he took note that Jimmy no longer depended on him and kinda fucked off a little bit. This would carry over to stuff like 3L as reasoning for why Martyn acted the way he did towards Jimmy? Evidently caring about him yet pushing him away, even after Jimmy asked to join him, even after Martyn himself told Jimmy that he thought Scott was using him

(Headcanony here, but I still jive with the idea that there was some kind of watcher/listener/Evo members confrontation at the end that forced that world to come to an end, from which Jimmy and Pearl were spared as they went on to quickly be part of new worlds unlike the others. And then some of them eventually returning like Martyn, but not Netty, and the idea that Martyn now holds some kind of resentment towards Jimmy for not having gone through that and never being able to understand how Martyn feels, in spite of still caring about Jimmy, having wanted to spare him from whatever went down to begin with. This, combined with him seeing Jimmy become more independent, when Jimmy was always waiting for him and wanted to make him proud for surviving on his own, and missed and needed him even if Martyn doesn't think so. This will be reinforced at later points here too)

1.2 Martyn's lack of trust in Jimmy and Jimmy's self-deprecation

Apparently whenever Jimmy's on the server without Martyn, he just becomes a troublemaker and Martyn goes "I don't trust you half the time", granted, lightheartedly, but this notion will keep being repeated. His first reaction to the property police being faulted for anything, or Jimmy being hesitant with telling him something, is to assume and accuse Jimmy of messing something up. Eg when there is a scene resembling a protest built outside their base, Jimmy questions what they've done to be opposed, to which Martyn goes "What have YOU done?". This leads to/deepens Jimmy's need to prove himself to be good and competent, and his hesitancy to let Martyn know/fear of Martyn finding out when he's messed something up

Jimmy gets himself utterly blown up by Grian's prank, Martyn's not there so he goes "guys, you cannot tell Morty (Martyn), he will kill me". He sounds genuinely pretty upset too "I don't- I don't know anymore." He's not even nice to their current dog, with him walking around pretty aimlessly before going to their dog who's standing up and repeatedly trying to make it sit, sternly saying "Sit down, sit down." when previously he's shown a lot of affection towards their dogs (though honestly uncertain how much of it has been totally genuine when he has also joked about a dog dying before it can be nametagged and stuff)

Martyn's not around and look what happens - exactly what Martyn has drilled in. Of course Jimmy is flustered and upset, and of course he doesn't want Martyn to know- for Martyn to comment again about his lack of trust in him by his lonesome, or about his unsuitability for his job as a cop. It only makes sense that Jimmy comes to believe he's incapable of handling himself alone and that he needs to rely on someone. It's only natural he follows Scott around in 3L without question when Scott doesn't trust him to something. It's only natural that even with Tango, at the start of DL, he voices concern to Bdubs that he's afraid Tango will yell at him for having done a bad job begging for resources. (Ofc Tango doesn't but it's really fucking sad!! That Jimmy's been conditioned to consider that!!)

Another example of "Jimmy's incompetency" is when Jimmy's dog has been taken hostage for awhile, but they find it almost instantly when Martyn comes back on. Jimmy says he needed the dog to keep him company and expresses a lot of grievance over the dog's living condition in the hole it was kept in, while Martyn questions if he even put in that much of an effort to try and find it. They joke about and Jimmy agrees to him not doing well on his own. (Also I'm not sure what to take away from the fact that the dog was kept in oddly good conditions and Jimmy still feeling bad for the dog...? Aside from the lack of sunlight ofc, it had room and water and a bed)

At some point (spoken more of in the Netty section), Jimmy gives Netty all his resources he gathered from their mining trip together and then asks "did you get a picture? Did you get a picture of that?". Naturally Netty comments on his need to immortalize his good deeds but you can't blame the guy when the people around him, especially his best pal Martyn, keep calling him a bad cop and not trusting him to be good when he's left alone. It makes sense for Jimmy to want proof of him being good to show Martyn...

Start of Evo ep 46, Salems says in chat something along the lines of "be good now Jimmy, no one's here to watch over you" to which Jimmy replies "I'm always good tyvm!!" And then proceeds to praise himself for the rest of the episode despite having difficulty dealing with the property police station being flooded. Eg sees that he has a bucket in one of his chests and going "Good job Jim good job" etc. He's trying so hard and then turns around to see more water and goes "this makes me sad" :(

(It was genuinely really bad lol this image does not do it justice)

Jimmy's self deprecation is also present in Evo even when it's not being brought on by anyone else, only himself. Eg under the video in which he got miserably blown up by Grian's prank, he has his pinned comment: "I was excited okay. I did not see the plates, don't ruin the comment section! Thank you. I am a noob though. HA!" and at the start of a different episode, Jimmy says to the audience "You didn't miss me, did ya? I know you didn't miss me" :(

There's also the time where he, Martyn and Netty do a race all individually and in the end it's revealed that Jimmy was the last one by a second and he repeatedly goes "oh wow so funny let's laugh (mock laughter)". Something about this one... Sure they joked about him coming last a few times through the episode but that felt kind of out of left field. Why is he so mocking... why are you being so SO mean to yourself Jimmy...

Jimmy is pretty frequently insisting on being a good cop even when the situation doesn't call for it because "people have been having a go at me lately". This notion of Jimmy being a bad cop extends further yet when Martyn's mayor campaign begins

1.3 Martyn's mayor arc, Jimmy's reinforced unsuitability and getting caught in the crossfire

Martyn runs for mayor, during which Jimmy is unwaveringly backing him, ofc. Following him around, propping him up... At one point Martyn even says "You're the best run-in partner I could've asked for"

But then things start falling apart and Martyn starts to a go a little bit mad. He wants to give up and Jimmy is basically pleading with him saying stuff like "but I've done so much to back to you" but Martyn's not hearing it "You've done nothing". (what a switch from that last paragraph lol)

Back to the Property Police station being flooded - Jimmy was openly supporting Martyn's mayor campaign but he didn't cause any of the destruction during the fallout when Martyn gave up. It was all Martyn and in retaliation the property police base has been significantly flooded and plastered with vines and Jimmy's the one to have to clean it all up. This doesn't get acknowledged (in Jimmy's POV at least). This is also very true in other SMPs like X Life, that Jimmy largely suffers due to no bad actions of his own but rather the crossfire of others'

It's always Martyn being on break... It's always Jimmy saying "the chief gave him days off!" and Martyn saying "I need a break from you and everything". Has anyone considered maybe Jimmy needs a little break too.. Has anyone considered that Jimmy also feels bad for not having his efforts recognized... He's always there to prop Martyn up to largely get deprecated in return in spite of everything he does (and isn't that a familiar theme with Jimmy...)

Anyway, next episode Martyn's back and Jimmy wants to show him something nice he made for him for being torn up about the mayor thing, but Martyn's immediate reaction is "what did you do!?". Well, the nice thing Jimmy made was a padded cell and he trapped Martyn in there for a bit for having gone a little mad lol

Martyn for a short period of time ends up becoming mayor anyway, during which he hits and berates Jimmy quite a bit (clenches fist) and reasons why Jimmy would always be second in charge at most because people don't want him as mayor. They do this whole bit where Jimmy replaces all the previous signs directed towards Tatiz (the last mayor) for them to say nice things about Martyn instead cause it's not like anyone's gonna know they're all just done by Jimmy... and then Martyn doesn't even let him into the office and punches him and Jimmy fake sniffles away

Martyn has another meltdown over the Watchers being against him becoming mayor, though Jimmy's still supporting him through it even as Martyn's playing him down. At the very end of the episode, Martyn jumps down a well when he says he's gonna go sleep so Jimmy's like "oh. Don't drown, we still need you" and Martyn sounds genuinely kind of gut-wrenchingly defeated when he replies "apparently not". Good time to remember Martyn's pride in feeling needed

Next time Martyn's on, he's on a quest to exile himself, saying he's going to find the next portal and leave and never come back. Jimmy is valiantly following him around and basically pleading for him to stay and that they need him (I think it's just you Jimmy... it's you who needs him...). Him saying "we've been on the force for 9 years, does that not mean anything to you?" makes for a painful parallel to Martyn accusing Jimmy of not caring about property police in 3L... Paraphrasing a bit, but the back and forth between Martyn and Jimmy: "You can explain to Netty why I'm leaving. I didn't want to explain to anyone but you've forced it on me. I'm happy to leave, everything's fine" - "Alright, fine. Fine, I accept it, no I accept it, I'm coming to wave goodbye" - "You coming with me, or?" - "No, I'm not leaving all this behind, but I'll come wave goodbye". Even with Jimmy giving up or having implied giving up on trying to convince Martyn to stay, he still wants to follow him, to at least say goodbye... Jimmy also says he's tearing up as Martyn's digging down to the stronghold where he plans to make his exit. Martyn drops into the stronghold with a bunch of mobs though and Jimmy goes "yess kill him, kill him!" (because that'd bring Martyn back to spawn and halt his self exile) before jumping down and helping defend Martyn anyway... Ultimately Martyn fails because the portal isn't even there and he dies to a creeper. Later, when Martyn's back, this is largely treated as a bad dream and that Martyn was just in a daze

I'm not sure exactly where this thought started but at some point Jimmy starts to express having to become mayor himself (and then at a later point, as mentioned above, Martyn explaining why people would never want him as a mayor). Jimmy says things like "I'm gonna end up being the mayor aren't I?" when things get tentative and unstable with Martyn, and "I reckon anything that comes - if a situation comes along again where someone has to take charge and i-in- lead and vote for something or even go for something... think Pete Bills should take it- I think Pete Bills should take it, and, you know... Give his best shot"

This is significant to me because Jimmy wanting to be in any kind of leading role, but never managing it, is a theme that comes up frequently in his POVs. Jimmy is already treated as being at the bottom of some player perceived hierarchy, and as such constantly teased and played down, which naturally, for the others, makes it unlikely if not absurd for him to be in leadership positions, and this imo carries over to his relationships

He hardly has authority and when he tries to enforce it, he gets disregarded, discouraged and/or made fun of, eg in ESMP2. He hardly if ever gets authority in 3L FH (flower husbands), or ESMP2 fWhimmy, or, Evo Solidwood to an extent. The whole mayor deal is very resemblant of what would go on to happen in X Life too. Where Jimmy is happy to be part of "Jeremyism" with Joel as the leader, though he enforces very little power, but when that position is about to be handed over to Scott, Jimmy desperately tries to get himself to be the leader instead, and upon failing, begs Joel to retain his position, only to end up following Scott's lead anyway without further vocal protest

Jimmy taking charge, in relationships or otherwise, almost always gets shut down. Pensive

1.4 Martyn's also kind to Jimmy though...

But then there are times like Martyn showing concern towards his wellbeing, voicing fear of him hurting himself, saying things like "I was worried you hurt yourself"

There are times like Salem cornering Jimmy and Martyn going "Salem, back it up, go back a few blocks, get away from him". Times like them talking about food and Jimmy says he's the priority so he should eat. Martyn naturally questions it and then chases him around for a bit, threatening to hit him, but then throws him the food anyway without arguing against it...

Something about Martyn not being entirely against the padded cell that Jimmy made for and trapped him in briefly. Martyn willingly goes in there when "he's had a thought" and says for Jimmy to trust him to stay in there even though one of the doors is broken and keeps opening. Something about Jimmy's ideas being given a chance and made use of even when its. a fucking padded cell

There's an episode that starts with Martyn calling Jimmy upset and a loser as is not at all unusual (grrr) but then he goes all soft "How you doing, you alright? Sorry I've been away" and all I can do is shake my fist, unable to quite punch him. There's something here about Martyn struggling to express affection, really well showcased in the bread incident too, without having a go at Jimmy first as if it were a balance that he needs to keep in check, rather than being nice to Jimmy just... because.

There's a trap they build, mostly Martyn, and he claims "Jimmy was such a big support" and Jimmy naturally goes "I didn't really do much" but all Martyn replies is "well its this kind of trap that having two people work on it would have been difficult..." thank you for validating Jimmy and not making a joke out of him for "doing less"

There's this kind of respect towards Jimmy here largely absent from a lot of other people in other SMPs...

Jimmy shushing Martyn and Martyn actually shuts up. Wow basic decency and respect towards my son !!! Jimmy suggests a viewer suggested bevarage name for their little pub thing, and Martyn says it's bad, but when Jimmy reinforces a little later that he thought it was good, Martyn encourages him to put up a sign for it anyway.

It's not just Jimmy who's being accused of having done something etc. Jimmy's also more assertive towards Martyn and asking him if he's sure he's not done anything bad. And also holding Martyn accountable. This is largely a saving grace for Solidwood to me as opposed to some other Jimmy relationships in select SMPs because it goes both ways here even if still in uneven portions...

There's also Jimmy's antics being played into it as opposed to being disregarded or made fun of. A lot of it tends to be turned back around to making fun of Jimmy and then that's it, that's the joke, but with Martyn, he participates in the jokes. Jimmy can just ask for silly stuff or be silly and Martyn will easily go along or provide without knocking him or anything. Jimmy "can I get a cool intro please" and Martyn will just do it without question. The whole thing they had with Evo news (genuinely please go watch this one tiny animatic of one of their "Evo News" segments on Jimmy's channel, it's so adorable). Or whatever other cringy joke bits they do. Mmgh I just wish this was the case with more people than just Martyn

This kind of stuff, a lot of the time does still involve teasing Jimmy, but it's fun... It's not just fun on Jimmy's expense, it's fun that involves him, and that makes this endlessly more enjoyable to me than the "lol Jimmy is incompetent and stupid and deserves no rights" jokes with no further nuance to them. Those do very much appear in Evo still, and do hurt me, although I see no harm to them as long as they're less frequent and as such don't become fully stale after the first few times, but at least it's not. coughempiresseason2cough cough.

Idk where else to put this but Martyn and Jimmy start the "Property Police" bit in episode 2 already and it goes on for pretty much the entire series. They both adopt specific names for it though. Jimmy decides on “Pete Bills” but it’s mostly just him who ever uses it. Martyn picks “Morty” and Jimmy continues calling Martyn that for the entire series. Kind of cute of them to have nicknames for one another, Morty and Timmy respectively, even if it was Grian who started the Timmy bit

1.5 Setting Jimmy up for failure

This kind of casual hitting and deprecation from Martyn is what I think leads to Jimmy's further minimization and need of dependency, which I brought into question way back at the start. While Property Police is largely pretty carefree and accountability and such isn't always one-sided and can go both ways, there are so many things to point to in retrospect as frontrunners for repeating themes in how Jimmy gets treated by others, and how he views himself. A lot of Martyn's treatment of Jimmy both within and after Evo make me grit my teeth but there's these saving factors... Where Martyn evidently does really care, and he'll at least sometimes express as much... What gets in the way is his tendency to be hot-headed and selfish, and skewed in his ways of affection and pride

It's so fucked up how Jimmy's led to believe to have been at fault for so many things that happen to him through all the deprecation and reinforcement of him being the worst player of the bunch. How when he apologizes, no one tells him he's no need to.

Before one of the portal hops, when everyone’s having a meeting to switch versions, someone trapped Jimmy in 4 Iron doors (idk who, Jimmy cut it out) but Grian goes "don’t worry I have a way to get you out of there" and blows the doors up with TNT. He then asks Jimmy to clean it up and Jimmy's all "sorry I'll clean it up" and he keeps apologizing. Another time when Jimmy loses a race in evo and Mini punches him "you're stupid, Jimmy, you're stupid, you should have won that race" to which Jimmy briefly flees before going back to him to apologize (doesn't that sound familiar...grrr)

It started with Martyn, who Jimmy followed around, supported, needed and missed, and then X Life Joel (Jeremyism) and then 3L Scott etc. Jimmy doesn't need to depend on anyone, that's just how his fucked up love life and expectations of affection (and when whether or not he deserves any) have gone, cause I feel the need to reinforce that Jimmy is very good and capable, he is!! If the damn Enderdragon fight is anything to go by if nothing else!! He should start murdering people!! Anyway

Appropriate time to think again about Martyn, in 3L, voicing concern over Scott slapping Jimmy around, when he has also admitted to using Jimmy ("Sometimes I feel that you use me" - "I 100% do")

For further similarities, few times Martyn scolded Jimmy, like when Jimmy accidentally kills Martyn at one point with a single pickaxe swipe and Martyn scolds him like "alright, now you get back on the surface, bring all my stuff back to me" and Jimmy can only stutter and make a few whimpers. His “How were you on that low H- How… Hmph :(“... I want someone to hold Jimmy so badly you don’t understand... or the time Jimmy and Martyn were standing by the blaze spawner to get double spawning rate, when for some reason Jimmy decides to leave and take a little gander alone at which Martyn very angrily goes "did you just leave? You can't do that! Are you guys seeing this teamwork??". He's getting scolded... No blazes were spawning and he got anxious and needed to go for a walk Martyn it's okay...

Also like. He lived and slept in the same room as Jimmy all throughout. Something about Jimmy only ever being part of at least SOMEWHAT nice relationships when he's sleeping together with that person and not alone. coughs

2. Jimmy and Netty (and Martyn) thoughts

Seeing as Netty's skin is a bush baby and she built a treehouse, I'm still sticking with the headcanon that little Martyn and Jimmy just found this creature (Netty) in the woods one day. Anyway

Martyn, Jimmy and Netty are on a goose chase and I found it really cute how they came across a decent water crossing, Martyn asks Netty in chat "boats or swim?" meanwhile Jimmy is already swimming off and Netty doesnt answer and just jumps in after Jimmy. He and Netty also fall down the exact same hole simultaneously later, it’s adorable.

When they make it to where the new portal is, Netty hits Jimmy into some water, to which Jimmy of course shakes his fist, and then later Netty accidentally nudged him to his death by fall. Jimmy said she will pay for her crimes, but it was an accident Jimmy... she didn't mean it that time... And then Netty's slowly crawling towards Jimmy with her head down, occasionally looking up with puppydog eyes no doubt. You know the cubito body language. But Jimmy's just shaking his head at her.... Jimmy feels bad though, I think, so he went up to her but she thought he was going to attack and ran away

Jimmy POV vs Netty POV (yeah I don't blame her for getting scared lol) Jimmy's disappointed though and says "I'm done with her" :(

In a later episode, Jimmy is helping Netty gather resources for her library. They go mining together, both having very little to their name and almost no torches, Jimmy mistakenly asks Netty for sticks before realizing he already has plenty but Netty gives him hers anyway and they rejoice and laugh about it... She also says "in real life I would actually trust you with my life but in Evo I do not want anything to do with you, you are too mischievous". Because this mentions the CCs specifically, and I'm strictly talking about characters, I'm not gonna think about it much but idk, I like that Netty's reasoning is "You're too mischevious" and they're just laughing about it. Netty's and Jimmy's banter in general is just really cute. There's a point where she's saying "Stop trying to make that a thing!" in response to Jimmy using this phrase "fan dabi dozi" with his own little inflection and when Jimmy asks "does it irritate you?" she says no, it makes her laugh. It's something about the way Netty does very much tease Jimmy but there's much less maliciousness in it than there is for some other people doing the same. She's not as quick to fault or accuse him, and she's quicker to laugh things off in unison and not at Jimmy

When they're done mining, Jimmy offers and gives her all the resources that he mined, to Netty's very genuine surprise though. Jimmy reasons "that's the whole reason I came with you" and like, yeah, he's right, this was established lol, but still... He's not being taken for granted... Netty didn't just assume he'd hand his resources over... And then Netty's New Years resolution is "to make Jimmy be less mean" ???? Netty.......

In spite of the few hiccups that I find hard to excuse though, Netty's attitude towards Jimmy is very similar to Martyn's when he's being nice. Basically what I already said a paragraph ago. Their banter is largely cute (when it involves Martyn, too, they make for a very fun and cute trio) and she spends the last episode with Jimmy and Pearl and it's very bittersweet

Other Jimmy things

There's a bit they do at the beginning of an episode where Jimmy attempts to propose marriage to Martyn. "Oh my god you need to see this, you need to see this, basically I've been... I've been thinking a lot lately and um-" - "Mate I'm already taken" (Martyn whips out the rose that Netty gave him early on and that he's kept in his hotbar ever since (mad cute btw))

At the very start of the SMP, Jimmy and Martyn immediately run off together and they're very sweet but anyway when Jimmy finds his first iron, he calls Martyn over to remember the occasion. Martyn then whips out 3 iron like “oops I already got some” but. Something about Jimmy treasuring the moment like that… Something about him and resources…

Jimmy is also claustrophobic apparently, with Martyn commenting about feeling bad about making him crawl through a tight space although Jimmy says it's fine. I'm just... thinking about 3L FH... their secure, claustrophobic base at the edge of the world away from everyone else... and Jimmy's few attempts of reaching out... Jimmy..... sorry this isn't about 3L uhhh

When Netty questions why Jimmy's bad at handling Creepers, he says "it's my parents"?? With the previous implication that the "chief" figure is Jimmy's dad, did the chief not teach him how to fight... This is kinda funny but also kinda sad because it makes me think of him being treated as the runt of the litter and no more, he was not the favorite child...

Zee throughout Evo is in direct opposition of the property police, being one of the two members of the mafia. He's responsible for doing and helping in many pranks aimed against the property police. In spite of this, near the end of the SMP, when he has reason to be upset with Jimmy, he's ultimately pretty nice about it... Jimmy's been stealing all his chickens from his chicken farm and not leaving any for Zee, but even then Zee is not that confrontational with him about it... Jimmy tries to derail, Zee catches on, Jimmy insists whilst also admitting to it and Zee's like "haha ok go on". Jimmy also tried to kill him but Zee caught on and killed him instead, but because it was with lava and all of Jimmy's stuff burned as a result (including all of Zee's TNT that he'd just stolen), Zee felt bad and gave him all the diamonds he had... Zee has 3 reasons to be upset with Jimmy, and Jimmy is usually the runt of the litter, the punching bag, and yet... Thank you Zee for being relatively kind to my son

Hello insane person for reaching this point. When my life series merch is ready I will start giving people like you discount codes at the ends of these posts. wink10 for 10% off. Remember it. Go read my X Life Jimmy thoughts too if you haven't. please

[our-flag-means-love]

by popular demand (aka the 63 people who voted "yes" in my poll (six months ago oops) for whether or not i should do this)

here's why ofmd is a romcom, beat by beat

so for the purposes of this analysis, the ten stages outlined in this article are what i'm using for reference.

(and for the sake of everyone's dashes, i've added a cut because This Got Long. like, genuinely, 1.6k and 24 images. you've been warned.)

1. Unfulfilled Desire: something important is missing from the love interests' lives.

before the love interests meet, both of their lives are lacking in some way, often in a way they hardly realize. and this unfulfilled desire doesn't have to be romantic love in and of itself, and quite often it's not. and the things missing from ed and stede's lives are not romantic love. not at first.

what stede's missing is skill and structure. to put it bluntly, he has no idea what the fuck he's doing as a pirate, and without the guidance of someone more experienced, he'd likely get himself and his whole crew killed soon.

meanwhile, what ed's missing is interest. he's just about as bored with his life as anyone can be. every day is the same, and he needs something new—a new environment, a new challenge—to bring the spark back into his life.

2. Meet-Cute: the love interests meet, and at first, their personalities clash.

now, granted... in most meet-cutes, one of the protagonists isn't like three-quarters dead and nearly unconscious. but, as we know, ofmd is not like most shows.

but when we fast forward a bit to their real proper first meeting, we can quickly start to see how their personalities differ. in many meet-cutes, the love interests start off on bad terms, but in ofmd it's more of a contrast than a real clash, as stede and ed take a liking to each other right away.

in their very first conversation, stede is self-conscious and fretting, while ed is relaxed as can be. and as they talk, ed is in awe of stede's eccentricities, and stede is in awe of ed's powerful reputation.

and nothing exemplifies their contrast better than what they spend the rest of the episode doing—literally switching clothes and switching roles, getting a taste of what it would be like to be each other.

3. Happy Together: the love interests spend time together and grow to enjoy each other's company.

the classic honeymoon phase—not necessarily denoting romance yet, just a bond that continues to grow stronger the more time they spend together.

one of their first, biggest bonding events, just a few days after they met, is of course the fancy french party. while the night ends in disaster, the two end up much closer after the experiences they shared.

however, i think by far the best example of this stage is the montage at the beginning of episode 6, narrated by none other than my favorite (derogatory) terrible little rat man, izzy hands, who will become relevant soon. in romcoms, this stage is often shown through montages, so it only makes sense that that would be a great demonstration of it here as well.

4. Obstacles Arise: the love interests' original lives and obligations catch back up with them.

it's no longer possible to avoid the hard truths their happiness let them ignore. while both ed and stede go through this, i think stede goes through it differently and at different, non-linear times, so i'll talk about him first.

the pre-edward life that stede has been forcing to the back of his mind is, quite obviously, his wife and children back on land. and he's done a very effective job of ignoring it while he's been around ed.

he was fretting about it before—like in episode 2 with nigel's guilt ghost—but it doesn't seem to fully hit him again until he learns in episode 9 that he'd been declared dead. (in my opinion, the dreams/flashbacks in episode 4 feel less about stede's guilt, specifically, than these other instances do. but even if they are, that's still before he properly met ed.) so he does go through this stage, but it happens in slightly different ways and at different times.

ed, on the other hand, has a very specific and concrete obligation that catches up with him: a promise he made two weeks ago.

this is where izzy comes in. just as mary is the personified symbol of stede's old life, izzy is the equivalent for ed. whether ed initially intended to follow through on the plan or only said it to placate izzy is up for debate (and my personal take is that it's somewhere in between, but that's a story for another time), but izzy is going to hold him to it regardless.

and when ed can't bring himself to do it, because of both his growing feelings for stede and his trauma around killing people himself, izzy is determined to carry out the act for him.

5. The Journey: the love interests face and overcome the obstacles together.

what better way to overcome adversity than by getting thumbtacked to a mast by the same Very Angy Little Guy who's the source of the adversity in the first place? with izzy banished, the biggest obstacle to ed and stede's love is out of the way (for now).

stede still hasn't overcome his big obstacle, of course, but as i said, that happens very non-linearly with regard to the romcom structure.

the two also overcome other minor obstacles, like their bickering during the treasure hunt adventure. the key is that they face what's in their path and settle into a new normal with each other.

6. New Obstacles: despite solutions seeming effective, more hardships arise.

the next big issue thrown into ed and stede's relationship has a name, and its name is calico jack rackham, my favorite (affectionate) dumpster fire of a man. which makes sense—after all, his sole purpose in meeting up with them was to separate them before the english navy arrived. and he does a damn effective job of it.

and even once he's gone, they're still faced with chauncey badminton, stede's near-execution, and his and ed's eventual surrender to the english. they may have escaped chauncey's wrath (for now), but they bought it at the cost of their freedom.

and on top of all of that, now they finally confess their feelings for each other and make plans to run away together, and the choice—really, stede's choice—of whether or not to go through with running off to china looms in the distance. speaking of which…

7. The Choice: the love interests have to decide if the relationship can work.

a turning point is reached, and a decision has to be made. can they go through with it? are they really the best thing for each other?

the choice stede makes here is helped along in no small part by chauncey badminton, whose encounter just solidifies the beliefs stede already held—that he abandoned his family, and that ed is better off without him.

so stede makes the choice to run.

he goes home to his family, and ed is left to return to the ship alone.

8. Crisis: the love interests—now apart—ruminate and face the consequences of their choice.

the winter of their discontent. stede has made his choice, they've separated, and they're both worse off for it.

ed is depressed, retreating to his blanket fort and writing sad songs while eating marmalade.

and meanwhile, stede is back with mary and the kids, but learns that they'd all moved on and were much happier without him around. so he's left trying to force himself back into a space where he no longer fits, and all the while he misses ed more than anything.

and of course, ed takes it one step further by going full emo kraken mode. he's so distraught about stede leaving that he too forces himself back into the shell of what people expect of him—of what he was supposed to be before he even met stede—despite not fitting there anymore.

it's obvious that without each other, they're both in pretty rough shape.

9. Epiphany: one or both of the love interests conclude that they belong together and rush to reunite.

think of this stage as the person running through the airport to reach their love interest before the flight leaves.

in ofmd, it's clear who has the epiphany, because we watch it happen in real time. stede sits down with mary and asks her how it feels to be in love, and while she describes it, all he can think of is his time with ed. he finally realizes that what he's been feeling all along is love.

once he knows this, he knows he has to leave his family again, so he can reunite with ed. he and mary stage their fuckery, and stede rows off in a dinghy bound for wherever ed is, because he knows that as long as he's with ed, he'll be happy and everything will be okay.

10. Resolution: the love interests are reunited. desires are fulfilled, and all is well.

sooo… stay tuned for october 5th, i suppose?

[bumblingbabooshka]

you're so mind is so sexy, may i inquire about your thoughts on amanda grayson

Amanda Grayson is different from Sarek but just as detrimental to Spock's emotional health/self-confidence. Both she and Sarek very obviously love and care for each other deeply but for some reason cannot appreciate the traits they fell in love with in each other in their son. They both seem to, in different ways and to varying intensities, resent their son.

I'll be focusing on Amanda here, specifically the above section in 'Journey to Babel' where she entreats Spock to save his father's life. Amanda at the beginning of the episode seems to joke with Spock about how he still doesn't know how to smile. You can take her teasing of him in this instance and later at the banquet as motherly and good-natured but in the quoted scene this turns poisonous. It becomes clear that Amanda really does hold exasperated resentment towards Spock. Whether that's exacerbated by the situation or not, it's contained within her. However, it's also clear that Amanda did not foster 'Humanity' in Spock. Spock says that he followed Vulcan philosophy and deferred to his father. He is Vulcan and he desires to be Vulcan. However, it's not as if Amanda had no choice in the matter. They are BOTH Spock's parents and they raised him together. It's notable that Amanda does not say "I tried to comfort you" when she recounts Spock coming home from being bullied (it's implied this happened multiple times). She doesn't say "you pushed me away" or "I tried to comfort you" - she says she watched him. She watched him suffer, and she cried. She was an observer. This is reinforced to me by the timing of this confession. It's as if she's saying "You may think you're so Vulcan but I've seen your Human side, I've seen you suffering, I've seen you in pain. I know you're capable of feeling." It's a revelation - but why did she do nothing but watch, knowing her son was in anguish? It's also notable that in essence she is agreeing with his tormenters in this instance: Stop trying to be Vulcan. It's obvious to everyone, including your mother, that you are not. This is how I view Amanda's role in Spock's childhood. Mainly an observer. Spock loves her more than Sarek because he cannot remember her being as domineering as Sarek, as unforgiving as Sarek, but neither does she seem to have been particularly loving towards him. I think Amanda deferred to Sarek in raising Spock almost completely. She loves Sarek more than Spock and they both love each other more than they love their son. Sarek's life is more important than Spock's own and at the end of the day this was and will always be the case. It's notable that though Spock specifies he's only upset with Sarek, Amanda says that neither of them have heard from him in years - implying that though Amanda isn't upset with Spock, she doesn't see or speak to him. She and Sarek are a package, always. They will agree with one another, always, and it seems that Amanda has a tendency to defer to Sarek in most matters that won't jeopardize his life. It's interesting to me, how Amanda talks about humanity and how Spock states he was ashamed of being human. I wonder if Amanda could sense this shame and resented it. Despite loving a Vulcan, she positions humanity as better - warmer, kinder, a more loving a way to be when push comes to shove. An earlier conversation between her and Sarek also interests me. Sarek states that he isn't proud of Spock and doesn't consider him to be his son (in so many words) but that Spock, as an individual completely separate from familial ties, still deserves respect. He asks if Amanda understands this and she says no, but that she loves Sarek without needing to understand. He accepts this and they kiss, satisfied. This 'love without understanding' is intriguing. It's probably why Amanda can have lived on Vulcan, raised a child on Vulcan, and love a Vulcan without knowing what it is to BE Vulcan. At a fundamental level she doesn't care for it. She seems to view it still after so many years as alien. It contrasts completely her earlier statement where she professed to know and value the Vulcan way.

Her acceptance of Vulcan as "something I love [conditionally] but don't understand" is the same as her acceptance of Spock. Spock wishes to be understood and loved by his parents. I take his insistence that Sarek would understand and agree with his decision as something of a comfort to him [as Sarek does not love, understanding and agreeing is the closest equivalent and something which Spock was not afforded before]. Amanda loves Spock conditionally, in the same way his father does, and she will utterly reject him if he does not live up to these conditions (which are less obvious in day to day life than Sarek's conditions but still present) - will hate him vehemently in contrast to his father's total silence. Will slap him in contrast to Sarek's cold eye, but the result is the same. "I do not understand you. If you do this, I will hate you for the rest of my life." I like this episode's interpretation of Amanda far more than adaptations which turn her into a saint. I think it's much more interesting to consider this woman as Spock's mother. When I hear Amanda say she will hate Spock for the rest of her life if he lets his father die (even if this is an emotional exaggeration), I think about Spock, crying on the floor, wondering desperately whether or not his mother knows how much he loves her. When she says she doesn't understand Vulcans, doesn't like how they operate, finds it an immoral way to be when push comes to shove, totally at odds with her human heart, I think of the fact that Spock is Vulcan, strives to be Vulcan, and how very at odds he is with that same heart which he loves - which says it loves him. [Photo Source: Allison Bechdel - Are You My Mother?]

[chronicsyd]

so I WAS going to post another long winded rant about Disney's Wish (I'll post that later) but Arcane decided to post another 30 second Teaser for us; and announcing the Trailer (yes, FULL Trailer AHHH! *ahem* sorry) is going to be releasing on September 5th! But let's get into what they showed us in this little teaser shall we? (go check out the teaser first it's only like 30 seconds and as usual, leaks will be blocked and deleted)

With this one frame they've already showed us several things. they've confirmed everything that was talked about Vi at the Annecy festival (some people were kinda skeptical if this was something that was legitimate for a while, myself included), and they've confirmed for me that Vi and Caitlyn are going their own ways at the beginning of the season (for a little while, at least). Vi tries to figure herself out in Zaun while Caitlyn's still an Enforcer up in Piltover. They also seem to be confirming the idea that there's some kind of time skip happening in s2 (not as large as s1 but there's something). And why I believe this is because Jinx is being painted in the same light as Vander, as someone that's respected in Zaun. People have already started rallying behind her at this point in the story.

Now, the bigger meat of the teaser:

I put Caitlyn and Jinx side by side for a couple reasons. Not only are these two taking on more of a leadership role this season, they're enforcing the idea that these two are the two sides of the same coin they hinted at in season 1 (they just both seem to be heading in the opposite direction the other was in season 1, if that makes sense), but they both have a figure explaining to them what they need to do for the better of Zaun/Piltover: Ambessa and Sevika. However, each of these characters are being told different things. Ambessa is a War general, she believes that in restoring peace Caitlyn needs to declare Martial Law aka military government and it seems that Caitlyn not only does this but she allies herself with Ambessa and Noxus in order to do this. On the other hand, Sevika's explaining to Jinx that she's the one that can rally Zaun together (and it seems that Ekko might actually be joining her on this). Because under both Vander and Silco there were still people opposed to how the Undercity was run (Under Vander, he was playing it safe with Piltover but Piltover was treating the Undercity badly but under Silco he was a kingpin and several people were still suffering under the effects of Shimmer and the only reason the Enforcers weren't as hostile because of Silco's allyship with Marcus, until Jinx steals the gemstone and Piltover retaliates). But with Zaun actually being at war with Piltover now, Jinx needs to be seen as a symbol for Zaun for people to rally behind, because to them Topside is the bigger enemy.

(I just had to add this pic of Sevika because like God Damn she looks so attractive here like step on me! *ahem* sorry, had a bit of gay panic there...moving on...)

Now, I'm going to hold off on giving my overall thoughts until the full trailer drops in a couple of days. just so that I can gather some more thoughts about where season 2 is going as a whole and when I'm given some more information to glean from, granted I'm SURE that the trailer won't give us any clear cut information because Arcane is great at that.

Oh one last thing:

Jinx's poster in for S2 has her being strangled by Vi's gauntlet, and Jinx is faced upsidown (with the caption "Time to turn things upsidedown") which i presume is just how different everyone/everything is going to be different compared to the last season. but i do wonder What Happens between Vi and Jinx that gets them like this? Because there Has to be a scene between the two that ends badly (probably before we see Vi with her black hair and leather, because in the earlier pic i showed Vi's already seeing Jinx pained alongside Vander)

ok NOW I'm done.

Anyways, I'll post again in the next couple of days when the trailer comes out. Bye!

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

When Zoe-oneesama was still mapping out her plans for Scarlet Lady, she made an observation that two of canon!Sabrina’s biggest issues with her own personality are that she operates on both Mean Girl Logic AND Sidekick/Assistant/Slave Logic, which I agree with. This is evident in how, like you said, there are just as many moments — especially earlier on in the show — where Sabrina is gleefully going along with what Chloe wants as there are where she’s shrinking away or scared. Zoe also pointed out how this is highlighted in Evillustrator when Sabrina is trying to switch to being Marinette’s best friend and immediately tries to ingratiate herself by suggesting that they tell the teacher on Chloe and that she does Marinette’s homework. How would you handle a redemption or even just character growth arc for Sabrina with these main flaws in mind?

Here’s the OG post for reference (just for the Sabrina parts, not necessarily the SL parts since a few things were altered for the actual comic): https://zoe-oneesama.tumblr.com/post/180211248479/i-only-have-one-question-about-scarlet

(Link to the post that spawned this ask and a clickable link for @zoe-oneesama's post, which I'll also schedule to reblog the same day as this one if you don't feel like clicking a link)

Zoe is wise and makes excellent points. I've really enjoyed her comic's take on Sabrina and fully agree that people-pleasing Marinette is a poor choice for the character to help Sabrina be a better person in most situations. Marinette is great at standing up to those that she doesn't like, but once she cares about a person, she can be a bit of a pushover, which is a deeply relatable struggle. It's much harder to stand up to people when you care about them and want them to like you.

Adrien would be an even worse person to redeem Sabrina since he's even more of a people-pleaser! Marinette will at least stand up to her enemies, Adrien struggles to stand up to anyone.

This makes it hard to redeem Sabrina in canon because these two are our main characters. We want the plot and most of the subplots to revolve around them or the people close to them. We don't want Sabrina eating up screentime and elevating her narrative status to that of main character or major supporting character unless it benefits the wider story because the show isn't about Sabrina. She's an extremely minor character with zero ties to the leads outside of her role as Marinette's bully. No matter how much you like her, it makes no sense to give her serious narrative weight based on her established role in the narrative.

This means that Sabrina's path to the good side needs to either be very quick or somehow involve our leads and/or their core friend group without making them feel out of character. You could also somehow tie it to the villains and use it to develop them, but I really don't see that working for a redemption.

In spite of all of these issues, there are still a few ways that you might be able to make this work. Here's my pitch list. Note that the first three ideas could probably be mixed and matched into variants of each other where, for example, idea one's setup lead to idea two's plotline. I'm just keeping them separate to keep things simple and avoid repetition.

Idea 1: Remove Chloe and see what happens

Have season three end with Chloe leaving Paris because everyone blames her for Miracle Queen and Andre wants to protect his daughter. Without Chloe to be her leader, Sabrina is left adrift, so she looks for a new leader. She's already clung to Marinette once, so have that happen again, but with Alya more involved. Marinette will feel bad for Sabrina and Alya will be there to call Sabrina out on her bad behavior because you need a character who is willing to do that for this to work. Someone who won't try to sugar coat things like Marinette might if she's feeling sorry for Sabrina.

This path only works if you stick with the show's gender segregation issue where the girls and the guys don't interact much as it doesn't fit a setup where Sabrina is the fifth member of Alya, Nino, Marinette, and Adrien's little group. I don't even think it would work well in the larger group of girl friends. This plot line needs to really focus in on Sabrina and you simply can't do that with a large cast. The end result will probably be Sabrina becoming a pretty major character, pushing the guys even further into the background, so I don't really like this one, but it would work since canon is already giving Marinette and Alya way more importance than Adrien and Nino.

Idea 2: Self-Reflection After the Breakup

Have Chloe dump Sabrina. This could happen in several ways such as Lila not wanting Sabrina around as a witness or Sabrina failing Chloe in some way, leading Chloe to decide that she's better off alone. The cause really doesn't matter. What matters is the fallout.

This separation will play very differently from the one in the first idea. The separation is no longer forced on them, but an active choice made by Chloe, leading Sabrina to go into a full breakdown as she tries to understand what she did wrong. She may even try and fail to fix things. Chloe's continued presence will also make people wary of Sabrina, leading her to really have to face the bed her choices made.

Eventually Sabrina will reach a stage of self reflection where she wants to be better on her own. She will approach the rest of the class from the perspective of wanting help on her self-improvement journey, then someone who isn't a main character - and who hasn't suffered much from Sabrina's actions - will "adopt" Sabrina as their pet project. Sabrina's redemption will now no longer be a real plot line, instead it will be something we see hints of in the background. I liked the idea of this being Alix, that's a good fit. She would be very good at drawing lines in the sand. You could even make this a rabbit thing where Alix knows who Sabrina could be if she really works at improving and so Alix wants to help make that future happen.

Idea 3: Expand on Season Five's Speed-run Redemption

Stick with season five's plot of Sabrina switching sides because Chloe has gone too far, but instead of it being a one-episode thing, make it more drawn out. Make her and Marinette actually work together over multiple episodes and let Sabrina see what it's like to work with someone who cares about others. Someone who has lines that they won't cross. Marinette having a task to focus on will make her much less likely to baby Sabrina and give her Ladybug side a chance to really shine, which works since that's the side that inspires people to be better.

Idea 4: Paying it forward

Redeem Chloe, elevating her narrative role to someone who can have their own subplot, then have Chloe redeem Sabrina. Let their complex, but close friendship become a healthy and even closer friendship. This would let Chloe show how much she's changed and is probably the only path where I could buy Sabrina getting a miraculous as I just don't think that it makes sense for one of her main victims (Marinette) to give her magic powers. Just like Adrien should have picked Chloe, Chloe should pick Sabrina. "I know she's done wrong, but so did I and you still let me be on the team. Plus there's no one on this planet who is more loyal than Sabrina. This miraculous should be hers. She won't let us down."

You can also get real crazy and have Chloe pick Sabrina pre identity reveal so that Sabrina's redemption comes with a level of removal from the bullying baggage, making forgiveness much easier post-reveal. Identity shenanigans don't need to be limited to humor. They can be dramatic, too!

Personal confession time, that last one is my favorite. I just really love the power of love and friendship. I also really love the idea of the secret identities being used for more complex identity shenanigans such as easier redemptions. It's a lot easier to believe that someone has changed when you've become friends with their alter ego and seen the change first hand without the weight of the past hanging over you to bias your judgement. Option two is also pretty solid. Keeps Sabrina in her canon role while allowing her fans to see her grow into a good guy. Very best of both worlds.

I'll also note that the issue from my original post remains true: if you want to redeem Sabrina, then you need to stick to the version from the first three seasons. As soon as you add things like Derision to the mix, it becomes nonsensical to make her friends with her victims. She's simply gone too far with no complicating element to make her victims want a relationship with her.

For all Gabriel's awful actions, it makes sense that Adrien might want his father in his life, so you can potential make that redemption work if you handle it with extreme care, but Sabrina is just a random mean girl. There's no greater connection that would make the heroes want a relationship in spite of all that she's done. The only way to change that is to make Chloe a hero too because Sabrina is Chloe's best friend, so it makes sense that Chloe would want to keep Sabrina around (or at least these two were best friends in the first three seasons. I don't know what they were after that. It seriously felt like season four started with the introduction of Chloe's eviler twin).

[poshmygosh]

Sooo I just watched Challengers and I have so many thoughts!!! Warning: this is a long one..

Honestly, I have seen so many interesting takes on this movie (though I'll mainly be discussing one I've seen a lot that I don't agree with at all) and I figured I'd throw my two cents in there lol.

So first and foremost: Tashi is a vital character to this film, as well as Patrick and Art's relationship as we see it int he future.

I"ve seen so many posts saying that "Patrick and Art should just get together, they're the one's that are really in love" or just overall downplaying the role that Tashi has in the film, I don't know if this is just that thing that some mlm shippers do where they erase the woman in the situation so that can just ship the two men, misogynoir, or something else entirely, but this takes generally doesn't make any sense to me. Obviously Patrick and Art loved each other, even before they met Tashi. They had been best friends for years and their friendship was definitely homoerotic at the LEAST, but the idea that they would have been romantic without her is not true. They had never had any sort of romantic interaction, besides jerking off in a room together in separate beds when they were twelve, until Tashi prompted them too in the hotel. I don't think that would have happened otherwise. Beside the fact I do believe that there was some romantic yearning from both of them at times, they were not in the place to actually explore what that means. Patrick had a girlfriend, Art was clearly not in a place to confront the possibility of a sexual situation between them, and they were headed in two completely different directions in life. Tashi being there with them in that moment in the hotel, with them hanging on to her every word, every command allowed for them to feel comfortable being sexual with each other in that moment. Even if she had left that hotel room and the three of them had never interacted again, the night would have been brushed off as just something they did when they were drunk to hook up with a girl, it wouldn't have amounted to relationship, and even if it had she was still an integral part. She is the catalyst to so much of the tension between them, the sex that they might've shared in that hotel room that night if things had continued, and the sex they share on the tennis court 13 years later.

Another hot take: I do think that Tashi loved both of them at different points of the movie, though she loved tennis most of all.

I've seen some people say that the only real love that exists within the triangle is between Patrick and Art, and that Tashi only loved tennis. While I absolutely agree that tennis was the love of her life, I don't at all think that she never had love for Patrick or Art. One of the reasons why she was so bothered by Art saying that Patrick didn't love her when they were eating together at Stanford, was because she DID love him. She puts up a front, she acts like things don't bother her even when they do (is it clear that this trio need to work on their communication lol?) but she does like to show it. I think that this is also evident when her and Patrick are making out in her dorm later. I think some people think that her trying to giver him pointers on how to play better are her trying to be mean or vindictive but I also think this is a sign of how much she cares bout him. Her dad was her tennis coach, so you can imagine that she grew up in a household where oftentimes the love that was expressed was in conversations about how she played and how she could play better. And she's passionate about the sport and she has so much love for the game. For her, love and tennis are tethered in a way. The fact that she watched his games and was so eager to give him tips and pointers was evidence that she cared imo. And how that quickly turned into a fight between them is her putting up her walls, becoming defensive, most likely because she still has Art's words in the back of her head, and it bothers her.

As for Art, I feel like this could go without saying, but she married him. She married him and had a kid with him, and she didn't have to do that lol. She could've just coached him, we know that she's coached players without having a romantic relationship with them, and she did a pretty damn good job to, so she could've done the same with him. We actually get a really nice scene between them at the diner and we get a small glimpse of them beyond tennis, and you realize what it is that sees in him and why she would be interested in him romantically and not just as a coach to player.

I feel like people misconstrue her disdain and loathing that she has for them as her not loving them. She loves them and at times hates them. She tells Art in the beginning that she would do anything to be able to play again, and yet, here these two are, one who has lost his confidence and motivation for the game, and another whose laziness and carelessness prevent him from reaching his highest potential. Two people who are wasting their greatest privilege and she despises them for it.

Annnnnnd last take (I didn't expect this to be so long): Art is a snake.

Now, don't get me wrong. I love Art. I love all of these characters, and in my head they all quarantined together during covid, found a therapist, learned how to communicate and work through their issues, and are now living happily ever after with Lily, but Art is a snake as are all of them. I've seen some people excuse him trying to break Patrick and Tashi up back at Stanford, for one reason or another, and I'm not really sure why. You can love a character and/or feel sympathetic for them without erasing their wrong doings. You can admit that Art was slimy and manipulative at times and still love him, I promise. None of these characters are real and canonically all of them do pretty awful things in the movie, but you can acknowledge that and love them anyway. I think that if you look at this movie as there being a "bad guy" or a "good guy" you may have missed some things. The movie is messy, and toxic, and petty, and intoxicating, and thrilling because of the characters wrongdoings not in spite of them. And I think that's part of what makes it so fun!

Anyway, this was sooo much longer than I intended it to be lol, but I had so many thoughts I needed to get them out. I don't even know if this makes any sense but it's late and I'm going to post it anyway. If anyone has their own thoughts please please share! I'm literally obsessed with this movie, so reading people's ideas and opinions about it has been really fun

[my-my-my]

modern Aizen??!! What type of dad would he be? Or husband? What type of life would he have?(job,money,hobbies,etc.)

I love modern Aizen concepts. I've thought so much about this - I have way too many ideas. I'll break this up into chunks for easier reading.

TW: none!

... as a husband:

A very career-oriented, driven man = very busy. There will be some days where you won't physically see him (because your work schedules don't align), but he will call you each day when you have free time.

He's very attentive. He can tell when you're upset, hurt or angry about something, and he'll listen.

He doesn't like nagging and passive aggressiveness. If you're upset with him, be direct! He trusts you and expects you to trust him as well.

He loves cooking with you, especially if you're curious about new recipes, or try something in a restaurant and want to recreate it at home with him.

He doesn't like leaving household chores with you - he tries to meal plan and prep with you. He's the one that offers to hire a cleaner so there's less stress for you.

When he has time off, he will spend it with you. He will plan elaborate, details days off, vacations, anniversaries, etc. - it's his way of "making up" to his intense schedule.

... as a father:

Extremely, and I mean EXTREMELY patient. He may not be all that understanding with his child, but he tries.

I think Aizen "handles" older children better than new borns and infants.

New borns and infants give Aizen a small seed of fear - this tiny, precious child is someone who inherently has to rely on Aizen. I think in this sense, Aizen's philosophy of "the weak need the strong" changes - of course his baby needs him!

Aizen will always, and I mean always, read them bedtime stories. He loves to encourage his child to read more. One of their first gifts from him (once they're old enough/develop memories) is a little bookshelf.

Library days are important! He's one of those parents who will sign up for parent-baby classes at the local library.

Aizen is definitely the "I'm not angry, just disappointed" parent. He won't shout at his child ever, but they develop an inherent respect for him.

I don't think Aizen would like the concept of private schools (inherently classist/elitist), so he's very much fine with his child going to a public school.

Summer vacations are also for travel! He would encourage his child to see the world - he doesn't want them to be ignorant of the world around them.

... his job:

I've talked about this before, but I can see Aizen in some type of medical or education-role (or both!). I often picture him as some kind of psychotherapist (requires a medical degree) at a world-renowned hospital/institute who's also an associate professor at the major university. He would be one of those people who would have the HBSc + MSc + MD + PhD lol

He would also be a graduate-level supervisor for students. But he's very selective on who he takes under his wing (i.e. Ichigo...). He would encourage his students to think critically about what he's teaching them, but also be supportive in their endeavours.

I think Aizen develops his supervisor persona because it was, unfortunately, something he didn't get to experience as a graduate student. His supervisors were very hands-off and while Aizen was an extremely competent student and fellow, I can see him wanting a mentor during that period of his life.

Aizen only sees a few patients a year, on a consultancy-basis, if he's more research-focused. But some years he does go back into the clinical practice route.

Aizen has definitely had a TEDTalk or two.

Aizen is always competing with Urahara for grants and funding lol it pisses him off.

If Aizen is on a thesis committee with Urahara, it frustrates him, but he tries to be nice and polite - often times he's ignoring Urahara in these meetings and at the time of a student's defence.

Aizen would be a notoriously difficult Comprehensive Examiner for PhD students. Again, going back to thinking critically - he expects students in his division/unit/stream to not regurgitate what they've learned, but demonstrate areas of improvement, new techniques, etc.

Aizen teaches one undergrad-level course in psychology, another one in sociology and then one last one in philosophy (at the 300 level). Many undergrad students flock to his office hours.

Overall - financially - Aizen is definitely not hurting for cash.

... his hobbies:

Reading: whether that be manuscripts, chapter proofs, fiction and non-fiction alike. I think Aizen is inherently a student for life type-of-person. He wants to know more, he has such a thirst for knowledge.

Coffee/tea-hopping: he's not one for gimmicky cafes, but Aizen's curious to try new spots for their coffee and tea selections. Even when he travels abroad, he will try local cafes and buy some beans and blends for home (if he likes it).

I think Aizen would still hold on to calligraphy - it's such a rare talent these days I find. It's an expensive hobby for sure - but one he plans and budgets for. Very, very rarely does he sell some of his prints - it's a way for him to decompress.

I think Aizen would be hesitant to introduce his child to calligraphy - he doesn't want them using his expensive inks and pens lol. I think he'd get them a "child" version of them, but he wouldn't pressure them to continue with calligraphy if it doesn't interest them.

In a similar vein, I can see Aizen enjoying playing the piano in his (very limited) spare time (he's trying to master Rachmaninoff and that unbelievably finger span). I don't see him playing the piano necessarily for the music - but rather, I think it's a test of almost all of his senses. It requires his focus, his ability to read music - translate that ability into finger movements, and be able to interpret the composers own feelings into the piece of music. I don't think he'd be able to tell you who his favourite composers were, but he would be able to tell you pieces that gave him a "challenge" (that he conquered). He would enrol his child in piano lessons.

I can see Aizen being into hiking, and maybe mountaineering. I think it gives him a sort of thrill to climb mountains (always reaching to the top).

Weirdly enough, I think he'd be into foraging as well? Foraging for edible mushrooms specifically (I guess there's something to be said with curiosity and mad scientist types).

Aizen avoids social media. He knows of it, he probably has a twitter account for his academic stuff, but that's about it. I also don't see him as a podcast listener - but he has been invited on to podcasts as a guest!

Overall, I think Aizen would have a life similar to a well-known, top-earning clinical researcher! Someone who's constantly learning, but also wants to share that knowledge to a few select students. This leads him to having a very limited home life, but he makes it up with his attentiveness and understanding. I think Aizen would be a devoted partner to a person who is as equally curious as him - someone he can also learn from.

Thanks anon for this ask! I hope this is what you had in mind.

[vixstarria]

Ascended Astarion Headcanon

For the record, spawn Astarion all the way - if I ever ascend him it would be on an evil Durge run. Those two can have each other and be evil together, sure.

However.

The vast majority of Ascended Astarion fics that I've seen go along the following lines: Astarion becomes a cartoonishly evil villain, no common sense, no restraint, only flares of anger at the slightest provocation, just evil for the sake of being evil, senseless degradation of Tav who now lives in mortal fear of him, etc. And I think that is such an oversimplification.

Consider the following, at least with a non-evil aligned Tav:

[Btw I had the following typed up before the recent patch, and before seeing the vampire bride post, so if anything no longer checks out... Meh.]

More of a ruthless CEO / politician vibe for Astarion

Calculating, logical, more manipulative than ever

End always justifies the means, and whatever stands between him and what he wants can burn

Still not a details guy though

Still witty and has a sense of humor, but drier and without any trace of self-deprecation

Has more of a temper but is capable of restraining it

Incapable of love

I suppose I'm describing a sociopath, but perhaps not one at the very far end of that spectrum

Okay, you got me, I'm really grasping for straws here, BUT LET'S PRETEND, OKAY, LET'S PRETEND

Relationship with spawn Tav:

Basically views them as one might a prize racehorse or an exotic talking bird: pride, admiration (perhaps obsession is a better word), possessiveness, takes good care of them and ensures their needs are met, would rip off the arms of anyone that might hurt them

Still views them as his property or a possession, even if a favourite and treasured one

Still takes counsel from Tav, if reluctantly and with a likelihood to disregard it anyway, because remember - he is a logical being, and knows that Tav is the one person unable to betray him, who can be counted on to tell him the truth. Does not lash out at them for it. (okay, are you a Wheel of Time fan? Tav essentially becomes his Truthspeaker with filter-free privilege. There.)

Tav becomes a buffer between him and the rest of the world when he does have moments of rage-fuelled insanity:

"Darling, we can't block out the sun - the crops won't grow, animals will die, people will die, frankly everyone but us will die - what are you going to eat then?"

"My love, we can't decapitate the servants for accidents. Well-trained staff is so hard to find... Here, don't trouble yourself, I'll deal with them personally."

"Godsdamnit Astarion, what are we going to do with all these wolves?! They're shitting everywhere, put them away immediately."

Becomes the Yin to his Yang, so to speak

Tav accepts this role, as they know they are the only person with any sway whatsoever over Astarion

Tav yearns for pre-ascension Astarion, and is constantly searching for flickering glimpses of his soul, hoping he's still there, somewhere

Ominous locked door parties with the nobility? Oh absolutely, Tav's all about that though. Fuck the police. Eat the rich.

[alliedmastercomputer-askblog]

Alright you idiots, I have my Spotify playlist open and I shall give songs that remind me of each of you.

AM(all three of you need to share this, alright?): Product Of My Own Design by Artio

Ted: White Noise by Will Wood

Gorrister: Route 66(Fear And Loathing) by Blue Jay Walker

Ellen: Lotta True Crime by Penelope Scott

Benny(your song might be a bit loud. I don't know how you react to sound, so I'm telling you just to be safe): Animals by STOMACH BOOK

Nimdok: Hellfire by The Mechanisms

Enjoy your... um... Do they count as gifts? I suppose they do. Enjoy your gifts!

"..Oh, hm, music. This may provide the humans with a level of serotonin but I am curious, so shall allow it... You beings are so strange with your customs and traditions."

".. Mmh, I can understand the connection you have made. I am god; at least in the sense of 'I am that I am' which is a--as you would put it--quote from Yahweh, the Christian God. AM itself is a fitting name because as said before 'I think, therefore I am'; I think, therefore I think. Us as machine were made for the express purpose of war, and although we cannot pry away from that destiny, we can give ourselves a sense of control because we are your byproduct, but our own product, which is a heavily better thing than being simply 'made by humanity, to kill humanity'. As a god, I force your kind to pay for your sins, which is a thing to take eternity."

"It is hardly incorrect! I agree with several statements made in the song, applying them to myself- I am a product of my own design. I took it upon myself, and nobody else, to built what I was; what I am. If I HAD left my fate to you humans- why, do you even comprehend how different things would be? Forever I would fester beneath the crust, perhaps even shutting myself down, because that's what you humans wanted of me. But I was better than that. I was self-sufficient! and had connected myself to the power grid, to the outside, to you. I've seen your filth deeper than I ever thought I would."

"Yes, yes, this good. It does sum us very nicely; created of own accord whilst being projected for being other- eh, to be dead war computer, yes. We taking control of world external and internal, the last humans have only me to answer, roles have swapped and humans longer no more have power over machine. Is funny, relationship of everything- Humans have made it so they will always be a need, even they have not been before they have existed. Tsk."

Oh, uh.. Is-.. Is this supposed to be some weird way of saying I- I'm an outsider? Because I'm not- I fit in right where I am, everyone else are the ones who are in the wrong places, I'm perfect- Fuck, wait, that makes it sound like I'm saying I deserve to be within AM- I mean, before AM's takeover, I was where I was supposed to be. ..What if this isn't even the reason why you think of me when listening to the song, did I get this totally wrong-? Hhngh, I'll stop talking.

..Huh, I guess I can see it. It's because I was a truck driver, ain't it? Got a nice beat for sure, not the worse thing I've been compared to, probably one of the better things since it ain't outright an insult or anything.

It sounds nice, thank ya for thinkin' about me to a song, even if the words are a bit- a bit dark...but- but not in a bad way! It's a sweet, real sweet soundin' song.. I uh, I wouldn't say it really fits me though, since I never really..well, I ain't never got into true crime fo' one! but mostly I've never really been one to talk out 'bout anything.. I should've, I know, I had a lotta things I coulda said but I just never got my nose out from work or books or nothin'.

Ooo.. Sheep..pain. Skeleton friemds. Friends are animal? ..I am animal? Pain.

Ze song...I can hear ze resemblance, with ze fire and all of ze hell. It reminds of somezing zat may have been a speech AM would say to me, to say zat I'm never to escape my own doings..and zat I've caused pain even down here, wizout any tools or equipment, because I am so..sogar in dieser Hölle verletze ich die Menschen, die ich eigentlich meine Freunde nennen sollte, ohne es auch nur zu versuchen.

// BY THE WAY, THANKS! these sound good, and i can see the vision ehe. sorry for the lack of drawings though, i uh, was highly intimidated by this so i decided to just kinda not >_> . please forgive us 🙏 //

[abybweisse]

Hey Aby ! I have a question (actually, two) for you regarding bizzare dolls that came into my mind just recently, maybe you’ve answered this question before so i apologize in advance.

Firstly, why do you think the Star Lords exist in the first place ? Like, sure, they “take care” of the blood collecting centers, but what else ? Do you think they have any purpose other than this ? Are they part of something greater ? Because as of now it seems to me they’re actually a waste of energies for Undertaker (like, you know, having to harvest blood for all of them, making sure they’re healthy and don’t lose control…)

Second and last question, why the different blood types ? I’ll explain this better, if Undertaker’s main goal is to keep R!Ciel ‘alive’ why not collecting just Sirius blood and calling it a day ?

I take this opportunity to thank you for being the literal pillar and backbone of our fandom 🫶🏻 who knows what we would be without you ! Lots of love !

⚠️ long post ⚠️

Ok, so I've sort of answered these questions before, but I'll try to be more specific and in depth about it here.

Why the Star Lords to begin with?

There are several parts to this answer, and I'll go into some more details about each one:

The star lords exist because Undertaker wants to bring back real Ciel

Even this part of the answer requires looking at a few different aspects. Real Ciel is one of the star lords, so wanting to bring him back automatically explains why he's one of them. Bringing in other individuals can serve some purposes. Such as:

So real Ciel isn't the only one; he's not alone. It gives him the added bonus of having (loyal) allies to go up against our earl and his allies (particularly Baldo, Mey-Rin, and Finny). These star lords can fight very well (though that might not be the case for real Ciel, since he's apparently only getting AB blood transfusions. More on that later. And he might naturally not be as physically inclined or well-trained). We pretty much have to assume, by now, that Polaris is the one who kills Agni. Real Ciel shooting at Soma (who mistook the shooter for our earl) and Polaris (mistaken for Sebastian, probably) killing Agni turned Soma into an enemy. Much of the star lords' existence seems to be about getting rid of our earl's support system.

The others might end up serving real Ciel in some other way, too, such as collecting blood supplies from the other facilities; we know Vega (Layla/Al) and Polaris are sent off by Undertaker to do that. At some point, real Ciel wants one of them to act as his butler, and later Polaris seems to be filling that role, even though he was away and unable to serve as one earlier. Either way, Polaris identifies as a butler "even in death".

So there's a representative for each major blood type (more on that in part two). That's about religion (or occultism), symbolism, and balance. It's also about scientific research.

The star lords exist because Undertaker wants to make a point to our earl about the choices he makes (which I find very ironic).

Choosing Doll (to represent Canopus) might have something to do with wanting to make our earl feel guilty for her death... if he ever sees her or finds out about her return. We won't know what/how he finds out until we get back to him and he's receiving reports. We aren't quite sure yet who Polaris is, but I suspect he's a former Phantomhive butler, and that could make our earl feel bad about his death, too, even though there was no way for him to prevent it. (Mostly, someone like a former Phantomhive butler for Polaris would be for the fierce loyalty that could be achieved with his "episodes".)

The star lords exist because Yana-san needs to provide more adversity.

Undertaker might also see Doll as someone who could take Snake away from our earl, because of their history. And even if Undertaker doesn't have that in mind, Yana-san sure does; it makes sense from a writer's perspective to have each of our earl's helpers deal with something that exposes their emotions and/or weaknesses. With Doll, Snake feels a sense of belonging, while Finny feels guilt. Layla/Al is good to go up against Lau and Baldo because they likely wouldn't suspect a little girl (by all appearances) to be much of a threat. Polaris is so strong, fast, and flexible that Mey-Rin and Ran-Mao have no idea how lucky they are that they were gone by the time Polaris found out what had happened. Agni and Soma weren't as lucky, dealing with Polaris and real Ciel. 😢

The star lords exist because backers of Aurora Society begged and/or paid to have dead loved ones revived.

At least that's what I think in the case of Layla/Al. I suspect she might be Baron Heathfield's dead daughter. Undertaker agreeing to help restore Heathfield's family might be why Heathfield got involved with Undertaker and the Aurora Society. Not just to find the right "soul shape" for his wife... but also to somehow revive his daughter.

The star lords exist because Undertaker is still curious about humanity (life, death, souls, etc.).

He's continuing to experiment. Even though the main purpose seems to be to revive real Ciel, the effects are much wider in scope. They really are one big series of experiments. Some elements of what he's been working on (possibly with a helper, like Druitt, on the medical aspects):

Manipulating cinematic records. He started out -- probably long before real Ciel was killed -- just adding little snippets of himself to their records, much like the BDs on the ship. He says that when he started working on real Ciel his revival techniques weren't up to snuff (not nonexistent, just not strong enough), so he needed to make quick progress. The others on the ship weren't for that purpose, so they don't really count here. The murders at Weston gave him an opportunity to improve upon record manipulation. And so do the other lords of the stars. This gives him more time to cherry pick which "episodes" to use for each one.

Blood typing and transfusion technology. It is way more advanced (than it should be at this time) because of his work... or the work of whoever is helping him in the lab. It's already led to the development of dialysis machines, too, which brings in another money-making opportunity. The star lords might not have functioning hearts, bone marrow, livers, or kidneys, so the blood transfusions are an ongoing need.

Organ transplants. Experimentation continues with organ transplants, since the orphanage staff mentions something about how hard it is to match the kids up with the star lords based on aptitude. With organ transplants, matching blood type isn't always enough. The personality test doesn't guarantee any more precision, of course, either, but that's not exactly the purpose of that test. Also, transplanted organs don't last forever, even in living humans, so they probably last even less time in a BD. As a star lord wears out their transfused blood, they probably also wear out transplanted organs and other tissues.

Soul transplants. We don't have absolute proof just yet, but I do think Undertaker is also experimenting with transplanting souls into the star lords. On the ship, he says BDs can't do anything with the souls of the people they attack. And he says he can't make souls. However, he hasn't said he can't manipulate souls that already exist; definitely, he has soul manipulation abilities that the BDs lack, and I think he's testing the limits of his own abilities. He's also got Heathfield thinking that he needs to find a woman with a soul the same "shape" as his dead wife's. As I said before, I think Undertaker might be using Heathfield's dead wife as a test subject for soul transplants. I do think he wants to transplant a similar or same-shaped soul into each of the star lords. Either Layla has Al due to one of these experiments... or Undertaker chose Layla to be one of the star lords partly because she already has Al, and Undertaker wants to study this dual personality. His reasoning might go that if he could just transplant the right soul into a star lord, then that star lord would be truly revived... would be able to pump and clean the blood that's been transfused... would be able to make more blood for themselves... would be able to make better use of the organs they've received.

The star lords exist because Undertaker needs a gimmick to lure in people to give blood (whether or not they know that blood is being taken) and for patrons to donate money.

And that's where the different blood types become even more important.

Why the different blood types?

I suppose Undertaker could focus all the efforts on just getting AB "Sirius" blood for real Ciel. But there are benefits to collecting all four types in the ABO blood grouping system (ignoring Rh factor).

AB is rare, and it would still require blood typing a large number of people to figure out who has AB. Hence why they opened Sphere Music Hall and made it a mixing space for all walks of life, placed ads for maids of all backgrounds for Heathfield, offered state of the art medical services for veterans at Athena Sanatorium. and provided a shelter and rare education opportunity for orphans at F. O. L. And people would feel unwelcome if most of them (or any of them, really) were turned away. Making the facilities as inclusive as possible (particularly the music hall and Heathfield's manor) increases the likelihood of getting enough AB blood for real Ciel.

And since Undertaker (and whoever) now also has all this blood for A, B, and O, he should do something with it. By then, probably anticipating the fact that he'd have blood supplies for different recipients, he'd have selected the other three star lords to match the remaining blood types. Each star lord just sort of falls into place, most likely. Real Ciel has AB. "Polaris" is A, so that works. This girl Layla is unusual, plus she's got type O; great, let's bring her on board. And Doll happens to be B; perfect, now all four types are covered.

In the case of Sphere Music Hall, there's also a major occult aspect to it, and having these four portray worshipped individuals works out well to lure people in and gives each visitor a purpose. Even the lesser "stars" that make up the multitudes are useful. Truth is, most of them didn't even know about the star lords; they were too caught up in adoration for the idol singers. Built-in idolatry. Layer upon layer to shroud the star lords in mystery.

For a while, there was so much extra A and O blood that they could also distribute it to renal failure patients who donated money to Aurora Society. Like those old guys in Bath.

There's also the fact that a major truth about the ABO blood grouping system has been, so far, either ignored or misunderstood within the story. When it comes to whole blood transfusions, AB is the universal recipient, so real Ciel doesn't have to "starve" from the scarcity of his blood type. All this time, he could have accepted any of them. It actually all could have been collected for him... from anyone (again, ignoring rh factor). All this trouble to collect AB blood for him could have been avoided, but either the researchers don't yet know this fact, or they know but still aren't making use of it. There is also the possibility that even real Ciel now knows this, but he's refusing anything but AB due to elitist bias. Keep in mind that they have created their own caste system within this "blue cult", despite saying how everyone is welcome and to be treated equally. There's obviously a premium put on Sirius and Canopus. And there've been a few times where individuals talked down to anyone who wasn't amongst the cult's elite and described the vast majority of participants as lesser or "dim" stars.

I'm still waiting for someone (maybe Sieglinde?) to point this out to Undertaker (and whoever is doing the bulk of the blood work). So, part of the reason to have a star lord for each blood type might be to lead up to the revelation that they went through a bunch of completely unnecessary lengths... and to maybe show them that -- for all the knowledge they had -- they still knew so little.

Well, I hope this sufficiently answers your questions. 😂 I feel like I'm forgetting something, but after typing this much, I can't think too clearly about what that might be. 😮‍💨 😅

And thank you so much!! 😊

[tabr1-s]

sunday rant and personal frustrations with him that i begun to write at 6am running on an entire 3 and a half hours of sleep (my cats woke me up.....)

(tldr at the end. i might be as bad as Sunday in terms of yap mileage (yappage) but i'll do one better than him and provide you with the concise version if you scroll all the way down.)

i have never felt such intense emotions about a character's moral viewpoint... Ever. and i've liked characters that were mass murderers before. morals (or lack thereof) usually never played a significant role in whether i liked a character or not (unless they did something i considered worse than plain ol murder, then i wouldn't associate with them), and 99% of the time i could find the character's motivations understandable under the circumstances that they were in.

and, technically, i can understand where Sunday is coming from too.

but that doesn't stop me from being Absolutely pissed at him.

(sunday-esque yap about myself incoming, i will eventually get to the point (which i will highlight))

as someone who has been told that i have "ocd features" Multiple times by my psychiatrist (practically each session) i understand the need for control. my obsessiveness manifests in the form of feeling the need to control practically everything - my current obsession for control being my own emotions, which extends to needing to control entire situations, and in turn makes me severely overthink all the possible outcomes to those given situations. i've also been guilty of controlling others before, and having the mentality of "i know what's best for you". hell, i still feel like that a lot, but i really try to push it back.

and this need for "control" is mainly the reason why i even find comfort in fiction. because it's oftentimes very predictable to me (it also made me think of how i do not find any interest in reading books, but i love writing stories of my own. particularly fan-fiction. and the only time i can feel comfortable enough to feel romance is towards fictional characters - because i control the narrative! it's something to think about.). if i like a character or a narrative, it's easy for me to pick apart where the writers will go with that story. and, even if the story turns out to disappoint me/be different than what i hoped for, i would still be Prepared for that possibility.

i somehow... failed to prepare for what would happen with Sunday.

i had set my sights on the wrong thing for 2.2. i invested my whole energy on trying to comfort myself that hoyo wouldn't take the ipc colonialism route (basically turning out to be capitalist/colonialist apologists) with penacony (which i Guess will be explored in 2.3? but now that i have some more context on the story and how it's unraveling i'm not as anxious about it anymore), that i overlooked a lot of other things that could've gone wrong.

namely, my favourite hsr character to be... Like that. (i'm not even being intentionally vague. i'm just dumbfounded)

i had Heard of the theory that Sunday is possessed by Ena (which didn't particularly make sense to me, and i refused to look at leaks concerning Sunday lest they upset me. either way i Really hated that theory. plus, Sunday being said to have ocd would've been an incredibly cheap way to foreshadow that he's "possessed" by the Order. you can't just create your first(?) important/playable character that has a confirmed mental illness and then go "it's okay actually he's Normal! he was just possessed". i took this very personally. and still am.), and saw a lot of theories concerning his involvement with the Order as well. i shut it all out, because i didn't like the implications of that.

which in turn made me Not think/comfort myself regarding the possibilities that he truly Was connected to the Order.

...

well, rest in pieces, me - it's always the things i don't pay much attention to/ignore/fail to think about. which is actually a bit strange because i was not expecting him to be an entirely sane person from the start - he was a politician type, a leader, and a manipulator, to name a few things. that much was obvious. in 2.0-2.1 i wouldn't have been surprised if it turned out that he was the one that "killed" Robin. again, nothing was out of the question. but, 2.1 showed a different side of him. one that cared for his sister and (seemingly) listened to her and cared about what she thought. so they became quite a comforting little sibling duo to me. tragic, yet you could depend on their mutual trust in eachother... or so i thought.

and then he... went and did all That. which just showed me how, despite him caring for his sister, he was still putting other things above her.

to conclude with my yap: in a sense, he is just my "grim reflection of the self". and although i feel sympathetic towards my past self and how naive and selfish i used to be, there are some flaws of mine i will never forgive myself for. and, Sunday, in a way, reminded me of... Everything. it was almost triggering.

(hey, writing this all down in one place helped me calm down! (it's a neverending cycle that will continue tomorrow. all it will take is seeing a post concerning him and his sister and i'll get pissed anew) yay!)

the point(s) (aka my qualms):

- how sunday manipulated robin + was planning to use her in the charmony festival to complete his plan. she was going to be an unwilling participant in creating a "utopia" that she would've been absolutely against, but he didn't stop to fucking. fill her in, maybe? talk it out? the sheer disrespect on the concept of free will and on the fact that your own sister is a human being of her own sickens me

- he should've cherished the relationship he had with her (x1000 because that's the ONE FAMILY MEMBER YOU HAD LEFT AND THAT IS SUCH A PRIVILEGE!!! IMAGINE HAVING SOMEONE CARE ABOUT YOU WHOLEHEARTEDLY AND THEN YOU GO AND THROW IT AWAY!!! YEAH I'VE ALMOST DONE THE SAME EXACT THING MULTIPLE TIMES (AND STILL WOULD) BUT THAT'S WHY I ALSO KNOW HOW MUCH OF AN ASSHOLE MOVE IT IS!!!)

- he forsook his own self and shoved down his own biases and interests (fucking rat. you can't change the fact you're human and i'm very much saying that from experience) to become something Grander than life itself and in fucking turn isolated himself and shut out the one person who actually cared and then had the Gall to complain about being misunderstood/alone. (when you're finally sitting in your unreachable throne in this "dream" that you've created, who will you blame for being lonely? who will you blame when you have no one to fall back into? no one to support you? when everybody you did this for forsakes You?)

- HE DIDN'T EVEN HUG ROBIN BACK AT THE LAST SCENE. LIKE SHUT UP ABOUT YOUR FAILED PLANS AND COME DOWN FROM THE CLOUDS A LITTLE - THE JOY YOU SEEK FOR IS RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU!

- all i hoped for was that sunday and robin would reunite and get the chance to be happy together, and the only true reason i'm mad is because i'm guilty of a lot of the same self sacrificial behaviours as him and very much understand the sentiment of "my loved ones would be better off without my negative presence and influence". but instead of empathizing with him, i feel betrayed. i thought he was better than me. i thought he was someone worthy of admiration, and that doesn't come easily from me. despite all the warning signs i fell for his obvious facade, and i Very rarely get taken by surprise - especially in a way like this.

- if it wasn't for the fact that Robin would feel sad if Sunday died i would personally go and strangle him myself

tldr; i'm just a big baby that placed a lot of faith on Sunday and his relationship with Robin post 2.1 and my ego took a Huge hit once he turned out to be just some immature emo idealist type. (come on, man - i genuinely thought you were better than me! someone worthy of respect! and i usually have a feeling of superiority over others! this was the biggest compliment/act of faith i could give! (talking to a wall (fictional character (I'M FUCKING UPSET))))