#because i was told they mostly want to see my teaching style etc.

[theflyingfeeling]

It's not too late to start being kind to yourself today 💕✨️ but i hope tomorrow is a better day for you if today wasn't so great 💖

So sweet of you to say that 🥺 I'm afraid I've already fallen into that vicious "I can't do this" cycle so today's lost, but as I said, maybe tomorrow will be better

[fairyk133]

More facts about Ruth Beautè!

the poll vote won on her dating life :D

Ruth certainly does have various taste in men, I guess… (-.__-.)

Parker Ogilvie:

Their relationship was generally healthy and adorable. In the beginning she did not him due to his friendship with Harrington, lack of skill in mock trail, and soccer. Parker liked her due to her leadership, style and ability to dress, being smart, along with not being fooled by money. They started dating when he confronted her downtown during winter. They are both socially awkward and avoid certain trail sessions in their club. On their 3rd date, Ogilvie bent down on one knee and held a box slowly revealing a diamond necklace. She yelled at him to get up, they had a talk about what was appropriate or not when dating her, saying how she wanted to get to know him and not his money. (Which is a big deal for Parker, if you listened to how he gets his friends or girls based on his lines.)

Broke up: Ruth cut ties with him because she felt like he would be disgusted that her nature and situation that she had with her bio mom, being illegally Emancipated. She saw him too pure, she didn’t him to see what was really happening or going to happen to her when she and her mom gets on public trial for their issues, which soon in my story, the whole town will now.

Moments: dancing to Jazz music with other preps, battle dances between Gord, Pinky/(Or Nora) and Derby. Talking about how their lives would be if they were married (They were such cute losers 😭💕). Walking along town in the winter. Dorky conversations of their past hyper fixations, she played the piano for him and tried to teach him too (man failed).

Gary Smith:

He and her got together mostly because of their dark issues they need and needed to work on. He began fully liking her when he found out that she was the one who publicly/ secretly humiliated Chester (minor antag oc), telling the truth about his family, and what he planned to do to Derby Harringtons family. Meeting one another outside of the masquerade dance, he admitted liking her jokingly but she turned him down not taking him seriously. After a soccer practice game she gave in and agreed to date him. Now, they low-key disliked one another from the beginning, her calling him white trash, and other nasty terms, him calling her a mini version of Mrs.peabody, a prude, a know it all goody goody etc. They get high by talking shit about others.

Breaking up reason: This girl deadass told him he’s a distraction to her soccer game, and told him he’s too emotional when he said he was jealous of her and Jason (her male best friend oc coming up soon)./ Might change the way they broke up idek yet.

Moments: When she’s talking to a person, he will mock her behind her back, messing with her hair and stuff. Each time he had a episode she just stares at him and gives him food when he relaxes, they will say the most painful thing to one another due to their “mental issues” and forgive one another because they know they don’t mean it. Talk shit about people and mock others, evil planners fr. She gave him the rule of PDA but he ignores it sometimes. One time, she framed a guy he didn’t like just for him. Smith one time snuck ants into a bag and gave it to Gordon Wakefield while he was sleeping just because he was hitting on Ruth, (They were vile together to be honest).

Tom Gurney:

They finally meet when she accidentally bumps into him, they somehow instantly fell for one another, he apologized and aciddently said her last name wrong and she was just laughing at him. But, sooner or later her friend Joetta said she liked him, Ruth cancelled her feelings for him immediately. During the school dance, she forced the bully clique on a mission to find any guys who roofy girls drinks and beat them, before sending them off, Tom compliments on how she handles things for the school. They dated at later end of the year, after the whole “illegal Emancipation trial” thing, and finally her getting properly adopted.

Broke up? No, they currently together. Happily :D!

Moments: He rambles to her about the numerous theories he has, she just sits there and listens (she has no choice.) He will get angry at someone and try to use big words and she corrects him on how to use them. They watch horror movies and they discuss how they would take their victims out differently (he scared of her for her methods). One time he brought bread and grapes to their first date because he knew she liked making food, and he did this right on her door step, he was awkward and afraid she wouldn’t like the gift but she actually loved it. Ruth helps him study for math . (She’s the only ticket to get him graduating.)

Minor fact: They are based of the one couple from the movie “The Bronx Tale” Jane and Calogero 🥰.

[haleigh-sloth]

I am done reading AssClass

Okay, let's see if I can type this all out without crying lol

This isn't a review, just my personal feelings on the manga, the things I liked, the things I didn't like (there really aren't much), things I wish I had seen more of etc., and my overall opinion on the ending (;--;)

Things I liked:

All of it. But seriously, the commentary on the education system. The way that it's "subtext" but like, Horikoshi-style subtext. It's not really subtext it's kind of in your face, unable to be ignored. While I'm fully aware that it caters to commentary on the Japanese education system, which differs greatly from what I'm personally familiar with, there are a lot of relatable aspects in this manga that I can relate to American education. For instance, all the "problem kids" getting hidden away from the general classroom, scapegoated, looked down upon, etc. All of that was super obvious. The way it emphasizes how individualizing teaching approaches to the student can produce amazing results that matter to that student. I work in special education currently, but I've been working with kids since I graduated college, and this manga felt very validating to me with how it shows what impact adults can have on kids if they put effort into their relationships.

Moving on....

It's a shounen, but I love how it managed to maintain its slice of life vibe by keeping it focused on their school experiences. Just the way the manga made sure not to dive into power scaling territory in any way whatsoever and mostly focus on demonstrating the way Korosensei was getting through to the students, which as a result really drove the ending home. It's kind of funny how the parts of BNHA that hold my interest the absolute LEAST were the parts of this manga that I wanted to make sure didn't fade away.

I also appreciate how it balanced its large cast without it feeling like cameo city. Everyone got the perfect amount of focus. Nobody felt like side characters who were getting more screen time than necessary to an annoying extent. It has its main focus characters but it truly is a manga about all of Class 3-E. I was impressed by that, as with large casts I usually get irritated quickly when characters I don't particularly care about (because the manga gives me no reason to seriously care about or be invested in them) are being given screen time SOLELY for the purpose of getting screen time. Just...things I generally don't like, but this manga didn't have that issue.

The characters of focus:

Korosensei- I knew his character would be the source of my tears at the end. The person who recommended this manga to me went ahead and told me he would die (which I appreciated because I think I might have been upset/angry at the manga if I hadn't been warned---I'm not good with tragedies lol). So--I knew what was coming, just not the how or the when. Korosensei is the best character in the manga and everything that happens in his arc I feel very reasonably warrants the ending. However it doesn't take away the devastation it made me feel lol. I knew early on, I could tell that he was going to be the source of most of the emotion dredged up in the manga. He didn't disappoint. I've never favored a mentor/teacher character this much.

Karma- My favorite, no surprise. I love how he's introduced as this deranged, violent, uncontrollable teen but ends up being the most go-getting academic in the class. He's bothered when his grades drop the slightest and he more than makes up for it later (so he CARES). He's pretty chill in personality but his unhinged-ness comes out randomly throughout and it's either hilarious or just really cool. He's really not what he's introduced as. He's goofy, and he drops his "revenge against teachers" persona pretty quickly after he's introduced and Korosensei picks at him a little. His friendship with Nagisa gives me life. It's hidden in the shadows but you know it's there, and it finally gets focus toward the end which I ate UP.

Nagisa- BEST MAIN CHARACTER. He feels so passive without actually being passive. His development happens subtly imo, it wasn't something I noticed until the summer vacation arc. After that I paid a lot more attention to him and he easily slide his way into top favs. I LOVE LOVE LOVE how his backstory tied into his skills in the classroom, and how that drove him to change his mind about being an assassin. God that was cinema at its finest. And I said this already but his friendship with Karma is just *chefs kisses* I love them both. They're melons.

Kayano- SHE SHOCKED ME. SURPRISED ME. BUT I LOVE HER. She really did stick close to the protag and hide in his shadow and then come out at the MOST unexpected time. Her backstory tying into Korosensei's backstory, making her closer to him than anyone else in the class ;--;

And that leads me into when I started sobbing and didn't stop.

Korosensei's backstory was rough, but the conclusion to his backstory was where the tears started flowing, and didn't stop until I finished the manga.

I was waiting for the kids to finally acknowledge what assassinating their teacher meant, and finally when the realization came I was emotionally unequipped for it:

These moments had me in a blubbering mess, and it's taking a lot of effort not to cry RIGHT NOW LOOKING AT THEM

And then of course:

....okay in order to avoid crying I'm gonna move on lol

Things I didn't like--honestly not much. I don't have any actual complaints. I just want to sue for emotional damages.

Things I wish had been different:

Things that aren't critiques because they aren't a flaw, just personal wishes I have.

I wish we had gotten to see more of Asano Jr. and Itona. I feel like Asano absolutely could have been used and explored more. Maybe I just wanted him to join class E. I knew it wasn't going to happen just due to the point I was at in the chapters and knowing it wasn't long enough to get into that. But Asano was a fav that I would have been very interested in seeing more. He felt like a side character who absolutely could have been lifted out of side character territory. Itona drew me in more when he was unhinged, and my liking for him didn't go away but my fixation on him shifted to Asano lol. I feel like Itona could also have been used more. But the way in which he was used wasn't bad at all.

Other characters:

I LOVE what happened with Principal Asano, absolutely love it. It made me forgive everything he was about throughout the story. I love his perception of Korosensei changing and how he offered him a job to come back later, I love his shift in thinking, his reuniting with his former students no matter how bittersweet it was. I loved Korosensei telling P. Asano that he was replicating what Asano had envisioned when he started his school. Tear jerking forreal.

Karasuma and Irina: Loved them. Loved how Karasuma kept a hard front almost the entire manga and slowly started letting it fade away as time went on. I love how the three teachers bonded and at the end, Karasuma acknowledging that all three of them raised that class. More tears flowing. Irina best girl. She was fanservice-y but it wasn't a stupid gag and was a part of her character (a legit seductress), and she as a whole was great.

I coud go on and on about the ending and how emotional it made me watching everyone clean the building and the mountain, and Kayano saying it feels like Korosensei and Aguri are still there with them, so they don't intend to make it a memorial site. I could go on and on but I'm legit tired of crying lol I really can't handle it anymore. So I'll end it here and say that this replaced Naruto in my top 5 LOL (sorry Naruto). 10/10.

[palettepainter]

How the teachers play favourites

We all know Aizawa and All Might have their favourite UA child, Shinsou and Midoryia. And yeah I know Bakugo and Todoroki are also their UA kids but shhh, Midoryia and Shinsou where the first UA kids they adopted. 

And you can’t tell me Aizawa and All Might play favourites with them, All makes Deku lunch like..hello?? Aizawa gave Shinsou his capture weapon, HELLO?? 

So here are some dumb headcannons for how the other teachers play favourites to their UA kids

Ectoplasm and his UA kid Jiro:

-When he gives back marked tests he’ll sometimes write small encouraging notes for his students to read, he does this to some students when he feels they need a pick up but he always leaves a positive one on Jiro’s 

-During lessons where students are allowed to study in the lesson Ectoplasm lets them listen to music on their phones, everyone thought he would say no so everyone - mostly Kaminari and Mineta - peer pressured Jiro to ask. To no ones shock except Jiro’s Ectoplasm replied with a calm “Sure, but only if you use your headphones”

-Jiro talks about new songs that have been released and Ectoplasm will listen to her geek out about music

-Sometimes Jiro will tell Ectoplasm what her and the rest of the band (herself, Kaminari, Momo, Tokoyami and Bakugo) have been doing and if they’re working on any new songs in-between their studies. Jiro jokes that Ectoplasm is their biggest fan but Ecto is genuinely supportive of their band and admires their creativity

-Jiro once entered maths class and said “Hey miter Ecto, what’s shakin’ bacon?” and while the whole class was stood there in silence thinking Ectoplasm wouldn’t reply he said “Not much double dutch” and then Jiro went to her desk as thought nothing out of the ordinary happened. Kaminari tried to do the same thing to him and Ectoplasm just went “Kaminari your shoe lace is undone-” Jiro was very amused

Powerloader and Hatsume:

-This one started out more like this - Powerloader: Who’s idiot kid is that?....*realises it’s Hatsume* Oh shit- THAT’S MY IDIOT KID-

-Hatsume showed up at the design studio and never left basically, so Powerloader got used to her. He knows Hatsume overworkers herself so he keeps spare energy bars, fruit and bags of crisps in the design studio. He brought a small microwave and kettle for the winter so Hatsume could make hot drinks and food since she insisted on finishing her ‘babies’

-Say’s he doesn’t worry but still insists she goes to recovery girl when she gets a scratch or blows up the studio, sometimes dragging her there himself, ranting all the way about how she’s an idiot. One day Hatsume ended up breaking her leg during a bad explosion and Powerloader very nearly had a heart attack-

He kept a close eye on her while she worked from a wheelchair at her desk

-Makes her wear a god forsaken jumper in the winter when the design studio is freezing, stupid dumb teenager you’ll catch your death of cold

Present Mic and Kaminari:

-This man is shameless with playing favourites

-He greets Kaminari with his signature finger guns and an enthusiastic “AAAYYYY KAMINARI!” Kaminari shoots finger guns back with an “Ayyyyy teach hozit hanging?!” Everyone in class knows Kaminari is a teachers pet despite how Kaminari insists he’s not

-Mic knows Kaminari has a crush on Jiro and Kaminari is an embaressed child who is like “omg msiter Mic STOP-” while Present Mic is coeing and being all like “Aw that’s adorable!”. He always puts Jiro and Kaminari together in group projects, Kaminari shoots him a flustered glare cuz Present Mic knows what he’s doing 

-Kaminari teaches him meme/slang language for laughs and everyone in class hates it, Kaminari finds it hilarious. Eventually Mic gets the hang of it but he sucked at using the language correctly at first 

-Calls him lil listener and Kaminari calls him loud mouth 

Midnight and Yaoyorozu

-Another teacher who is shameless with playing favourites

-Midnight being a teacher does have to enforce the dress code if she sees a student wearing their uniform incorrectly - loose tie, untucked shirt, odd brightly coloured socks, chockes, etc. Midnight really doesn’t care all that much if a student’s socks aren’t the sae colour as their shoes...buuut she’s a teacher so she has to enforce it. Except when it comes to Yaoyorozu. Yaoyorozu one day had to wear light blue socks into UA as her tights where damaged, and she was worried she’d be called out for not following the dress code. Midnight saw, and turned a blind eye. She was in the middle of telling someone off for not dressing correctly, saw Yaoyorozu with the odd coloured socks and went “-Oh hello Yaoyorozu you have a good day sweetheart! ^^”

-Always complients Yaoyorozu when she comes into class. Oooo did you try a new hair style? Honey it suits you! New note book, such cursive hand writting! Glad to see you got those new pair of shoes, trying a different shoe brand this time? Very stylish!

-Had been tempted to kick Mineta like a beech ball on more then one occasion when he wouldn’t back off from Yaoyorozu

-The kind of teacher to say “I taught her that~” when Yaoyorozu uses one of her combat techniques

-Girl gossip. She tries to guess who Yaoyorozu will get with, meanwhile Momo is just blushing and blabbering because that isn’t very appropriate for history work. Midnight bats a hand is like “Pft I’m the teacher I can gossip in my own lesson”. Puts her with Todoroki during group projects and she, like Mic, 100% knows what she’s doing

Hounddog and Shishida

-Hounddog: I am not soft....*holds up Shishida* EXCEPT FOR MY 1B CHILD WHO IS VERY STRONG AND HE’S GOING TO BE A HERO DON’T @ ME HE’S AMAZING-

-Encourages Shishida to let loose with his beast form, with his rish upbringing Shishida isn’t used to embracing his more wild and uncaring side, having been raised to always be propper and polite when not in combat. Hounddog geuenily puts in effort to be a little less grumbly around Shishida cuz he doesn’t wanna peer pressure him, he’s giving him time

-Keeps a spare cloth so Shishida can clean his glasses off when and if they get dirty from training

-I imagine Shishida having a quirk called beast and having a more posh upbringing prolly has a little bit of anxiety, having to always be polite and propper even with a quirk called Beast. Sometimes he vents to Hounddog about this and he listens, insisting that it’s better Shishida get it off his chest when he apologises for drowning on

-During training Hounddog basically throws him about like a beanie bag at first, Shishida was still a kid and Hounddog had years of experience. The day Shishida finally knocked him down with a hard punch to the side of Hounddog’s face he felt...bad. But Hounddog was beaming! Shishida may have cried a little bit

Snipe and Hagakure (picked hagakure inspired by a suggestion @snipe-enthusiast made a while ago)

- Protective af

-Hagakure screams the innocent dorky girl of 1A, and thought Snipe makes sure none of the girls deal with Mineta’s bull while he’s around he’s especially protective of Hagakure just cuz...well, have you seen the way she acts? She’s innocent, peppy, happy, cheerful, and Snipe does not want that tainted by Mineta’s preverted ways

-After the exam with Hagakure and Shoji Snipe apologized for what happened and so did Hagakure, admitting that she over-reacted. 

-Hagakure admits one day to Snipe that she’s worried she won’t make it as a hero cuz her quirk isn’t flashy like her classmates. Snipe reassures her by saying that no one thought he could be a hero when he was little (this headcannon was inspired by @frelmidja and a post this did with Snipe) - guns weren’t exactly considered heroic and he got teased in the beginning when his quirk first activated. He told Hagakure to keep working hard and that she had the potential and the drive to be a hero, Hagakure was very thankful for the reassurance

-Hagakure really wants to see what Snipe’s face is like and constantly asks him if he could take his mask off and show them, Snipe has yet to break and take off his mask but Hagakure is very persistant 

Cementoss and Bondo

-Chill babies, they sit and have tea together. 

-I imagine Bondo to be the kind of person to accidentally call Cementoss dad, it happened once during one on one training and he got so embarrassed. Cementoss kept telling him it was fine but Bondo left in a hurry after

-Bondo tried to make certian shapes out of his glue one time but ended up getting himself stuck, Cementoss helped him out and reassured a disheartened Bondo that everyone makes mistakes and that he was progressing well 

-Being one of the taller boys in 1B he often has to hold back Monoma from going over to 1A when Kendo isn’t around, often tries to diffuse conflict before it gets worse, Cementoss is very proud

-After one on one training the two go to the lunch hall to get a hot drink after cleaning themselves up, Bondo tries to bring a different type of tea sweet each time - something like biscuits or chocolate. Cementoss returns the favour by bringing Bondo manju to have after his training

Thirteen + Gunhead and Uraraka

-Proud mum and dad because I couldn’t decide between the two

-Uraraka researches into the affects of zero gravity and how to better use her power, due to this she’s become a bit of a space nut and enjoys thinks like star gazing. When she was a kid and saw Pro Hro Thirteen on the TV she was ecstatic! Her parents brought her a Pro Hero Thirteen plush on her seventh birthday, Uraraka still has that toy. One day the toy got misplaced in the students washing and got mixed up with the teachers, Thirteen was a bit confused why a plush of her - and a well loved one by how old it looked - ended up in the wash. Uraraka hurridly rushes over to explain when Thirteen comes into the students dorms asking if it belonged to anyone. When Uraraka explained she got it when she was younger cuz she’s a big fan of Thirteen...heart squeeze

-Asked Uraraka if she could teach her the gunhead martial arts move, Uraraka was so honored she got to teach one of her idols a combat move! Through the gunhead martial arts move Thirteen met Gunhead and the two become good friends

-One day when Gunhead is teaching Thirteen the martial arts move with Uraraka to help demonstrate Uraraka wanted to take a picture of them all together. Gunhead was too tall to fit into the picture so he kneeled down to be at the same height as Thirteen and Uraraka (he did bunny ears behind Thirteen’s head and Uraraka thought it was adorable)

-Gunhead pretty much puts two and two together with Uraraka having a crush on Midoryia, so one day when Thirteen mentions in passing conversation how giddy Uraraka gets when she’s around this one green haired kid Gunhead just chuckles behind his hand. Thirteen and Gunhead think it’s very sweet how Uraraka totally has a crush on him (unlike Mic and Midnight thoug they don’t force anything and let Uraraka figure things out on her own)

[moxfirefly]

B D J O V for Donnie, Karl and Alcina? (yes I am in love, no I dont have regrets uwu)

My 3 loves? Well why not! And pls enjoy the ficlet styles I’m going to opt for when doing dirty secrets! This is a little long so is going under the cut.

🩸🍷Alcina Dimitrescu🩸🍷

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and on the other)

A bit of an odd one here but she loves backs, like your actual back. The line of your spine, if you have those back dimples, ufff. She loves the shape of it if you’re on the more curvier side, she loves the skin, and your rolls, and any stretch marks. Just picture that elegant hand of hers ghosting over your back, nails maybe even claws.

On herself, well Alcina is aware of her assets and she’s very aware of her chest, both she’s quite proud of but she’s really proud of her figure over all.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

There was a pretty seamstress in the village who always was brought up to the castle to help with her dresses. She was a pretty thing in Alcina’s eyes, very much her type. When your making or fixing or measuring a tailor made outfit for a 9ft+ woman well it gets tricky and a little more handsy than usual. Alcina didn’t mind, the seamstress didn’t either. It was interesting following simple commands even if they were asked upon her with nothing but grace and poise.

So as Alcina sat for the 40th time to have something around her neck marked to be fixed, she had to stand between her legs to best approach and see the mistake. Only sitting did she have the best chance at seeing her at a more eye to eye level (well as best as it could be).

She isn’t dumb, she knows curiosity, want and lust like the back of her hand. Sees the nervous swallow of the seamstress whenever hands glide across her chest. The whispered ‘pardon my lady’ when she rests a palm on Alcina’s throat and takes a needle to the neckline with all the gentleness she can muster. Of course it’s the moment to prick her finger, the quiet hiss and scent is enough to alert Alcina and without waiting for her to fuss she takes that bleeding digit and kisses it, tastes the bead of blood, all while looking straight at her. When she still sees lust there, oh does she pull her closer.

One of her maids walks in about twenty minutes later, an array of materials in her arms so she doesn’t quite catch how the Lady of the castle smooths her dress and tries not to laugh, chest heaving a little and legs closing a tad. The maid greets her with her usual honorifics before leaving the requested materials, she notices the seamstress isn’t there and arches a brow at the room. “Lavatory” is all Alcina says before the maid makes a question. She nods but feels something isn’t right with the current picture but still leaves.

Once gone.

The seamstress crawls out from under Alcina’s skirt, mouth shiny, hair disheveled and nice set of teeth marks at her bosom.

It becomes a frequent thing after that.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

It’s not to say she needs to because she sincerely feels she has anybody at her beck and call who is willing ready and able. But on the rare occasion she indulges in some self care, it’s mostly in her luxurious tub. Feeling the warm water, her hair clean and smelling of that weeks chosen fragrance, well it gets her thinking and thinking leads desiring and if there isn’t anybody she’ll handle it. Slow, she loves drawing out her own pleasure, loves to feel that rise but stops before it’s too close. She’ll do that, edge herself a little bit more before biting down on her lip to muffle a more particular louder cry.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Both. She lives for giving it and she loves to receive it. She is just, wow, so incredibly good at it, she’s goes about it in such erotic and passionate way and if you’re not looking like you are being possessed by the devil then she up’s her game to make sure that happens. You can squeeze her head with your thighs all you want, she’s built different lol she can handle it. Don’t yank to much on her hair though, claw at her all you want but easy on the do.

She’s had a few inexperienced lovers which she has to guide when they want to go down on her. She’s very particular of what and how she likes it, but she’s patient enough to teach you.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

I’ll do you one better, https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMRSKhUoh/

⚙️Heisenberg⚙️

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and on the other)

https://hagelpaimon.tumblr.com/post/661063110466158592/i-wonder-wonder-who-ill-pick-hesi-baby-a

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) shout out to @imthegreenfairy88 for helping me out with this one.

The first few times he indulged in this he was very adamant in keeping it to himself and to himself only (with time and reassurance he chills out) but the first time he tried doing ‘back door’ stuff on himself he was very surprised about how good it fucking felt and every so often he indulged in it. There’s an occasion where he ends up in bed with some tourist, gun to his head he doesn’t remember their name but he sure fucking remember the blow job and fingering combo that they gave him that had him seeing fucking stars. He tensed up at first was about to say something but they crooked their fingers just right and swallowed his cock at the same time and words were out the window along with thoughts.

He was so far gone that it didn’t cross his mind that when he begged for another finger, he gave himself away and if their eyes weren’t indication of how delighted they had been, feeling two more additional fingers really proved the point.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

I mean I’m saying yea, he has to get creative with it sometimes so as to not get bored, but he picks up a few things he enjoys (he is creative after all) he’s definitely ruined his fair share of pillows, loves rutting into them. He has beat off probably in any section of the factory but shower is better for clean up. He for sure has done it outside of the factory, probably relaxing on a chair and if the weather is nice enough, it’s not like anybody is gonna suddenly drop by. He likes a tight closed fist when he’s close but enjoys a teasing touch to start things off, really enjoys grabbing his balls when he does it. Very messy messy boy when he cums.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

This man blows you like his life depends on it. VERY sloppy but it’s really hot, it’s how eager he is about it and how willing he is to suffocate and or choke on it. He’s told you to sit on his face multiple times at multiple moments of the day. He loves the taste of you, loves feeling suffocated by your thighs. You know what they about big noses too 🥴🥴

As for receiving he likes to dish out what he takes. So expect some rough mouth fucking, he will make you gag, he will make you all teary eyed cause he enjoys it. He’s fine with it without to be honest, he much prefers to be balls deep in you but if you enjoy doing it then expect hip thrusting.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Not super loud, but he isn’t mute. He groans and moans but he’s also a talker so expect a lot dirty talk. His voice drops in a way when he’s fucking you that it makes your toes curl. He’s all breathy pants when he’s close. Lots and lots of cuss words.

👾Donnie💜

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and on the other)

https://hagelpaimon.tumblr.com/post/661063462078889985/b-body-part-their-favourite-body-part-of-theirs

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He likes the taste of his own cum.

He denies it, really denies it, just says it’s his way of cleaning you up after a nice romp but he really has a way of proving the opposite. Donnie has ‘finished’ on you in every way shape or form. On your stomach, back, face etc you name and each time he has cleaned you up he’s either wiped it up and sucked on his fingers or he’s just full blown licked it off of you.

And there is something so disgustingly erotic about that you haven’t or don’t want to call him out on it. You’ve gone down on his multiple times and he very eager to kiss you after your done. One time you purposefully left some on your chin and lips to see if he’d clean it up first but nah, kissed the heck out of you. His favorite is cumin in you and then going down on you. The first time he did that, it was enough to make your toes curl till they cracked and just as you were about to say something he was yanking another orgasm from you. The combined taste of his and yours release? Fuck now that was his favorite.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Does it and does it often. He’s not prudish about it, it’s free oxytocin and for a guy who’s convinced he’s never gonna get a shot at being with somebody physically, might as well practice some self love.

Loves visual stimulation but he’s really into audio stimuli. Likes those audios where he feels he’s there with the person or the ones where they give instructions. Donnie is really into edging and if he’s got the time and privacy he can literally edge himself for a couple of hours. Has at times managed hands free orgasms. Has made cock sleeves or basically fleshlights (ah ingenuity), can have his moments where he’s super slow and teasing about it, light strokes and all that. Can also have moments where he basically fucks his fist to the point of making some pretty obscene wet noises. If listening to audios or watching videos he really loves trying to cum at the same time as the person in the vid or audio. Has a bottle of lotion right on the desk but that shit is so cluttered with stuff that nobody has picked up on it and honestly it’s kinda funny.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

GIVE GIVE GIVE.

Oh my lord is he OBSESSED with giving oral. It’s such a big turn on for him. He just loves how intimate it is, he loves how he’s giving you pleasure in such an intimate position. LOVES over stimulating with his mouth, loves feeling thighs trying to break his head, happy to die down the suffocated in his favorite place, loves feeling a hand at the back of his head and pushing him in further.

He’s not crazy about receiving cause he knows his size is a challenge but he’s not opposed to it, he much rather get a hand job from you.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Loud and not afraid about it. He enjoys the fuck out of it and is going to be vocal about it unless it’s adamant to be quiet because people are around. His churrs are really nice, deep but not as baritone as say Raph’s, but they feel and sound so good.

[local-ground-apple]

May I request scenarios of Diasomnia and Pomefiore taking care of their child s/o? Sort of similar to the one you did for when Silver, Rook, Kalim etc being turned into children ❤️❤️❤️

Hope you will enjoy it~! ❤️❤️❤️

🐲 Malleus thought nothing could surprise him anymore in his long life, yet when he saw your small form, he had to admit he hasn’t expect you to turn into a child anytime soon,

🐲 tries and will find a solution quicker than Crewel or Crowley,

🐲 at first, Malleus is lost. The whole situation is new to him and he doesn’t really know how he should take care of you or what he could be doing with you, until you get back to your normal form,

🐲 he did ask Lilia for help,

,,Y’N, what would you want to do?” ,,You’re a prince” “Yes, indeed” “Teach me how to dance”

🐲 Malleus furrowed his eyebrows, a bit taken aback with your sudden request, but soon a soft smile graced his lips. You were truly adorable as a child and he absolutely wouldn’t refuse you anything,

🐲 needless to say, you stomped on his feet a lot,

🐲he carries you on his shoulders almost all the time and you refuse to get down from them. You just wanted to touch his horns, but you really liked the feeling of being so tall and the view up there was truly amazing, 

🦇 the only one who actually knows what he’s doing,

🦇 at first, Lilia gets a bit emotional, as all those fond memories he had created with Silver when he used to be a child flooded him. You two ended up looking at pictures from Silver’s childhood, 

🦇 won’t stop cooing how adorable you are and he will certainly take a million of pictures much to your dismay (enough to create a whole album just with the photos from two days you spent as a child)

🦇 Lilia saw this a perfect opportunity to cook especially for you. Before this ancient fae burnt a whole kitchen down or accidentally poisoned you, Silver appeared with edible food and saved you from Lilia’s questionable dishes,

🦇 you had a lot of fun with Lilia, since you two organised a sleepover. Eating pizza, building a pillow fort, eating unhealthy ammounts of sweets, pranking Sebek - you truly had the best time of your life and you two even invited Malleus to join you (Silver fell asleep halfway through). 

🦇 fun ended when you told a “spooky” story and Lilia being Lilia decided to pull some ancient, fae book with terrifying stories that made Silver suddenly more than awake,

🦇 needless to say, you, Silver, Malleus and even Sebek ended up sleeping all together in the pillow fort with Lilia that night, refusing to turn off the light,

⚔️ Silver refused to let you touch his sword. Actually he hides it before you, so you won’t get hurt by accident. He hides everything that is sharp,

,,No, Y/N, you’re not going to climb that horse” “But, we always go horse-riding on Tuesdays!” “Yes, when you’re an actual adult”

⚔️ so instead you decided to go to sleep, 

⚔️ you both spend a lot of time napping together. Lilia often sees you two sleeping peacefully underneath a tree in the forest, while animals are all around Silver who has clovers in his hair (all thanks to you)

,,Can I braid your hair?” “...” “please?” *sigh* “Yes, sure”

⚔️ your braiding-hair skills certainly got better, even Vil would be impressed,

⚔️ when he’s asleep, you often sketch Silver trying to capture his beauty. Lilia finds your drawings purely adorable and he always coos how cute you are. Of course, Silver has no clue that you have a whole stash of drawing of him and you wish to keep it that way,

⚔️ Lilia of course offers his help, even if it mostly consists of him telling you all the embarrassing stories from Silver’s childhood

⚡ panics on the inside and on the outside. Can’t and won’t calm down anytime soon,

⚡Sebek hides any dangerous weapon from you and tries to babyproof the house as much as possible,

⚡tries to be quieter with you, as Sebek thinks children generally aren’t fond of loud sounds (oh how wrong was he). Somehow you managed to be louder than him, when you decided to throw a tantrum, 

⚡takes you with him literally everywhere. May it be his sword training, actual classes or just his night patrol, Sebek refuses to leave you unattended,

⚡ you ask him to read you and he gladly complies. Sebek switches from actual history textbooks to some fairytales, but you don’t mind this duality. Just hearing his soft voice reading you something before sleep is more than enough to calm you and lull you,

⚡you often fall asleep in his lap, 

���a child, huh? Something truly unexpected. Vil is the first one to put his initial shock and disbelief aside and he immediately starts working on potion to turn you into adult again. He really wants to dedicate himself to it and at first Vil is engrossed in his work,

💜at first. Soon, you get rather bored and you begin to disturb him. Vil wanted to yeet you to Rook, he truly did, so he could focus on making a potion for you. Yet, after certain hunter told him for the umpteenth time that professor Crewel is taking care of it, he started considering taking a break,

💜your absolutely adorable puppy eyes finally convinced Vil to spend some time with you,

,,Can I style your hair?” “Absolutely no” “Please?” “I said no, but we can throw a small fashion show, hm?

💜 you two throw a small fashion show, but perhaps, a raid on Vil’s closet would be a more appropriate word. You tried a lot of his clothes and Vil taught you how to do poses,

💜 you two sneaked out to Heartslabyul to taste some strawberry tarts baked by Trey (even though Vil certainly was on a diet),

🏹 oh là, là. Room won’t shut up about how cute you are. He constantly coos how lovely you are. You quickly get tired of this bullshit,

,,Could you stop!” “My, my, mon lapin, tu est trop mignon~!”

🏹 Rook lets you style his hair,as well as wear his hat, 

🏹takes you on his regular Leona-watching-from-the-bushes-event and you enjoy your new, stalkerish role perhaps a bit too much,

🏹Rook obviously refused to take you hunting, yet you followed him either way and you ended up convincing him not to kill a hare, but to adopt him,

🏹 Vil certainly wasn’t pleased when you showed up with a hare named “Five” 

🏹 your puppy eyes and pouting face is enough to persuade Rook to do whatever you wish. Literally, he won’t be able to refuse you 

🏹Vil told him not to give you any sweets, but one look of your puppy eyes and Rook is melting. He will sneakily give you chocolate when Mr.Schoenheit is not looking,

🍏 Epel has absolutely no clue how to take care of you. Absolutely, he’s just lost, 

 🍏 but he tries his best to keep you from dangerous, sharp things that may result in you hurting yourself,

,,I’m not a baby, I can slice the bread myself” “Y’N, you’re literally a child”

🍏 however, Epel let you help him bake some apple cookies and you two ended up having a flour fight (yes, you started it on purpose), 

🍏 you two become partners in crime. Sneaking out at the evening to Savanaclaw, eating snacks past bedtime, violating practically every, single rule Vil imposed on you two and finally raiding Rook’s stash of sweets - there’s just plenty of things you both managed to do together, 

🍏 Epel plays a loooooot of board games with you - literally every, single game he managed to find in Pomefiore, while you both sip on hot chocolate with marshmallows,

🍏 he is elated, when you turn to your original form. Sure, he had a lot of fun taking care of child version of you, yet he much more prefers your older self (mostly because he can finally kiss you)

[1ddiscourseoftheday]

💙Fri 11 Dec ‘20◟̽◞̽

Louis' big show is TOMORROW but that may not even be all we have to look forward to from him! Producer Alex Oriet (half of the duo Saltwives, who have worked with Zayn a lot, and he got his start working with 1D) reposted Louis' “new song” tweet to his insta with a caption- “soon”. OMG. Billboard had a 'year in livestreams' feature and wrapped up with Louis', saying “the best is yet to come” and reporting that Louis' show is Veeps' bestselling of the year “in excess of $1 million” (so either over a mil so far or a mil over the next best, hard to say, but it'll be well over a million by the end for sure so either makes sense).“I can't wait for tomorrow!” Louis tweeted, SAME, and “feels so good to be back with the boys getting ready. Can't wait for you all to see what we've been working on!” He included the brand new special Live From London twiiter emoji (!), it's a really cute lil vintage TV with the xx smiley on it, and a pic-- it's him looking over the backstage prep (so many screens) and you can see his hair flowing free and long and lovely! You can also see a piece of paper in front of him with 20 lines on it-- even if it is a set list I imagine some lines say “banter with crowd” and such like (as we saw on Louis' tour set list) but that's still soooo many lovely songs :))). Charlie Lightening says “this is going to be special, can’t wait for people to see what we have planned” and LTHQoffical is hitting us hard with the hype, posting another rehearsal pic (he's holding a beer and they didn't even scribble it out! wow almost like there's nothing wrong with that), and a time zone guide showing 66 cities around the world, and a digital fan pack, and they said more merch will be out tomorrow (heeelllp), and there's a show day itinerary-- ticket sales cut off 4 hours before the stream but much more interestingly, don't reopen (for the 28 hours of rewatch) until TWO HOURS after the start time. While they could (probably should) be allowing time for technical difficulties I much prefer to believe it's because we're getting a LONG SHOW YES PLEASE! I like my Louis shows like I like his hair, as long as he can possibly manage!! So that's plenty that we DO know to be excited about at the moment but the mystery of Louis new label also remains a hot topic nonetheless, with the known high cost of a twitter emoji stirring questions of who footed the bill (not something we're ever likely to find out sadly). If his team really understood us in the least they'd set up a viral video style Q and A where every Q pulled out of the bowl was an intensely detailed bookkeeping or promo strategy type query- tbh the faces Louis (or any one of the boys) would make would be 100x more entertaining than they get from any tired trying-to-be-cheeky standard Q and the answers sure would be!

Harry's prerecorded (months ago!) Jingle Ball performance aired at last and OH MY GOSH! SO GOOD! I think we can all agree (I know right?? I can't believe it either) that the backing band, Free Nationals, were phenomenal, and Harry's performance was terrific, just simply next level versions of the songs and Harry's sound in general. What more could we ask? For me, not much. For the Jingle Bell Ball organizers, well, they might have liked something Christmassy I suppose, maybe a holiday cover song, or a “tour of his home and holiday traditions.” LOL too bad! Whatever, they DID get vocal variations all over the place and oh did they work, a little lyric change in Golden (“I'm hoping someday I'll open”?), Harry in a sunny LA backyard (whose? who knows!) and everyone in not remotely festive Gucci. There were some decorations though! Not xmassy though- they were, can you guess, yes that's right: sky blue. And there was TRUMPET! A horn section, like revenge, is best served cold apparently: all these years on we can only assume Julian Bulian is good and sorry for denying Harry his trumpets cause DAMN did that sound GOOD. Julian may not say it but I will: you were SO RIGHT Harry, trumpets on every song!! Please! In fact, if you just took that guy on tour with you... or any of those people really? He can just have a really BIG backing band how about, then we won't have to argue about whether wanting this to be his band is mean to the old band. Anyway I hope the fan who ran into him in LA this morning told him how much we liked the show-- she did take a distanced pic, Harry is in his running gear (mostly black but bright fruity shoes) and holding a beverage. Oh yeah and Fine Line is now available to stream in “3D audio” (there's a moving in a New Direction from 1D joke in here headline writers, have at it) which is something that apparently only works with an Amazon device and is strange because physicists assure me that all sound is 3D, but what do they know. Anyway I'm sure it sounds great to those who can access it but luckily for me the album sounds great in plebian unbranded sound as well.

In the wake of Liam's no-show livestream yesterday fans are full of theories about what could be going on to cause such a thing, except actually it's only one theory; everyone is quick to ascribe the glitch to management struggles. May I simply say: there are so very very many things that could be happening in a person's life, even in a 1D member's life, that could cause a missed event and reducing any of them to 1 Dimensional figures who only have work related problems does them (and rigorous theorizing) a disservice. I hope we can all agree on wanting what's best for Liam, and that that extends to supporting him even if things are going on that are less glamorous than management villainy. I will ascribe one thing to management though-- I do believe the guys do the bulk of their own tweeting etc nearly always, but @Liam's tweet that yesterday's live didn't happen due to “technical difficulties” and they are “looking to reschedule” is one that I will make the exception for, sometimes you can just feel the PR person behind the screen! Tik Tok said it was rescheduled for next Tuesday, but the tweet was after that sooo hmm. The Billboard article about Veeps of course also talked about Liam (his Halloween show had 3.7 BILLION chat messages my god) and Liam's prerecorded alarm content today is Roman teaching Liam to do a Harry impression. How come when Roman does it it sounds like Harry but when Liam does it he sounds like Roman? Tip to Liam, just call it a Roman impression and you've GOT it!

Meanwhile, Lewis Capaldi weighs in on Niall and whether he (Lewis) enjoys golf with uncharaceristic delicacy; “we have different interests,” he says, and he sympathizes with a fan who said they'd slap him to meet Harry: “I understand.”

[notanotherinfjblog]

Have you ever had an infj teacher? What sorts of role models do you use, if you have them, in order to succeed?

Hello! :)

I do believe that I've had an INFJ teacher once. I can only type her in retrospect since I graduated quite a while ago, but I do think so. She was my German teacher and her teaching style was very unusual compared to every other class I've ever had because she hardly spoke. You see, she'd present us with a specific question about the book/poem/etc. we were currently reading and then have us students figure it out in the plenum. We'd openly discuss the issue from every possible angle and zero in on the answer together while she sat at the front and listened and only gave a tiny tip or food for thought when we strayed too far away from the point. I'm not sure if everyone was such a fan of this teaching style, but I certainly was.

But to be honest, I don't do role models really. I've never really seen a point in idolising a single person and then striving to become more like them. I just watch people and pick and choose what I want to learn from them. But mostly, I learn from them that it's okay to be how I am already. You see, I have the issue of being very very detached in social situations. It's an Ni thing. I can't function before taking a step back and observing everyone first to figure out the social rules of the situation. I can't just walk in and exist as a person. So I stand and watch, but then I worry about how weird I must come across in doing so. I worked in a babylab at a university before and I kept beating myself up about being so awkward with the parents, with the infants, with everything and everyone. Until one day, another INFJ researcher (and much older than me) was there for her own experiment too and it was quite eye-opening because I suddenly saw my own behaviour in someone else. For the first time, I had forced myself to sit down on the floor with the little girl I had just tested in an effort to appear more active and less detached and weird, and then I saw this INFJ researcher come out of the lab into the hall with us and she did exactly what I'd been doing these past months: she stood in my exact spot in front of the wall and just watched us. Sometimes she'd smile in response to something the parents said or something the baby did, but other than that, she just stood there silently, and for the first time, I saw my own behaviour from an outside perspective and I realised that it's okay to be like this. She didn't come across as creepy or weird or awkward or shy. Just different, but it was okay. Similarly, I love watching my ESFJ friend being socially awkward because he's one of the sweetest souls to ever walk this planet, but he keeps beating himself up about not being nice enough. I always worry that my words were inappropriate or hurtful or mean when I didn't intend them to be and then I get hit by regret immediately, but I never say anything. But then there are these moments when my ESFJ friend asks someone if he hurt their feelings earlier with what he said because that wasn't his intention at all. And everyone he asks these kinds of questions is always surprised by this. My ESTJ friend once literally told him that he could throw an axe at her and she still wouldn't be angry with him because she knows him and knows that he never ever means to hurt anyone, and he got real quiet and said that maybe he should stop giving himself such a hard time. I watch him and learn through him that, one, I should be more vocal about my social insecurities, and two, there is no need to be so worried about this all the time.

But of course, there are other things I take away from other people as well. I look at my former ENTP professor joke around and almost break his neck every week by being too clumsy, but no one thinks he's an idiot, everyone just finds him endearing. I look at my former INTP supervisor and professor who taught me so so much about how to be a good researcher and even though I haven't seen her in years, I still I have this voice in my head telling me that I have to make her proud with the work that I do. I look at my ESTJ friend who is so different from me, but who never shies away from jokingly flirt with all of her friends and telling us how much she loves us and how cool we are, who openly gets annoyed with my everyday uselessness, but still is the first person to offer a helping hand, always. I look at my INTP dad who is so bad at reading social cues and anything that has to do with emotions, but who still taught me to always press my thumbs (it's like crossing your fingers in other parts of the world) when I hear a siren to send a little bit of luck their way to anyone who needs it if there's nothing else I can do to help. I look at my INTJ brother who is a hopeless case when it comes to avoiding confrontations and I hate him for it, but from watching him fearlessly create conflicts with people, I still learn that yeah, sometimes you have to fight, even when everything within you is screaming not to, and he shows me how it's done. I look at my ESFP friend who is so unafraid of wearing her feelings on her face. She's so remarkably unafraid of crying and screaming and laughing with all her heart, and I learn that it's okay not to hide everything away. And I look at my INFP friend hiding everything away to spare other people from witnessing his misery as he says, and I learn how to be the kind of friend that other people have been to me: to simply offer a shoulder and not force him to speak, but to always pepper in my love and support for anything he does so that maybe one day, he feels safe enough to come out of his shell.

We need other people to see ourselves and we need other people to grow. I am but a culmination of everyone around me and they have always been the best of me. I think my love for them derailed this post a bit, but I stand by this: so so many people have been so incredibly kind to me and to each other, even when they didn't think they were, and so they all become a role model to become the best version of myself, to make them proud, to be kind. I strive to never take anything for granted. Someone holding a door open for me or stepping aside when they see me passing through, someone smiling at me, someone wishing me a nice weekend. These are all acts of kindness and I want to be kind, too. And they show me how to be.

[andersunmenschlich]

"Was I Abused" game

Copied and pasted from this post by @furiousgoldfish (to save space since you can't reformat anything in posts you reblog).

Is it accurate? Who knows! My memories of childhood are incomplete! Besides, a lot of these things seem frankly normal to me and not abusive at all... which, if they are abusive, is probably an especially bad sign. Hm. Anyway, on to the game!

Reblog and bold the things your parents have done to you! Italicize if you're not sure. (copy paste it all and then bold)

Physical abuse

parent slapped me to prove their point / teach me a lesson (I don't remember. It would have been loss of temper anyhow, not point-proving or lesson-teaching.)

parent spanked me as a “punishment” saying it was for my own good (Hey, I was raised full-on Michael Pearl TTUAC-style. This is foundational.)

parent pulled on my hair to force me to move

parent threw things at me while angry, things heavy enough to hurt me (Kind of? She and my sister were on my bed, top bunk. I was cowering on the floor. But I dunno if she was angry.)

parent trapped me in a room/corner so I couldn’t escape them (I don't remember. But I do know, in my very bones, that there was no escape from them. You couldn't run. You couldn't hide. And trying would only make things worse.)

parent hit me when I wouldn’t obey them / tried to confront them (To Train Up A Child, people.)

parent used a twig / stick / belt to lash at my body (Again—this is the Pearl technique. My parents broke a lot of wooden paint mixing sticks on me before discovering this whippy plastic rod about the thickness of a pencil! You could sharpen the end in a pencil sharpener, too. They had a ton of those, it seemed like. And a short one for trips outside the house; it fit in Mom's purse.)

parent grabbed me to force me to pay attention to them

parent pinned me down and physically prevented me from escaping (...Yeah. Again, this is the Pearl technique.)

parent brought me into situations where I feared for my life (I—look, it's not like the fears were rational or anything. It's just that the world is terrifying when you're autistic and so much hurts. And have been taught your whole life that "the world" is a terrible, dangerous place that can kill you both physically and spiritually. Yeah.)

parent made it painfully obvious for me that I’ll obey them or suffer injuries (I mean. TTUAC.)

parent threatened to beat me if I wouldn’t do as they say (This was the most basic part of my childhood. Like air. Under what circumstances would this not be the case? Unimaginable.)

parent forcefully fed me something I refused to eat (Does not letting you eat between meals, and putting the same food in front of you at each meal—over and over again until you either eat it or it grows mold—count?)

parent made an attempt at strangling / drowning / burning me

parent banged my head / body into the wall / furniture (To be fair, I hit him first. And it's not like I broke the table when his punch sent me across the room: I didn't hit it that hard. Just busted open the back of my head a bit.)

parent forced me into sexual activities

Emotional abuse

parent called me derogatory names and slurs more than once (Frankly, I'm still reasonably convinced that I am a monster. And evil. And I am definitely a fool, at least biblically speaking. "The fool says in his heart, 'There is no god,'" indeed.)

parent said my name mostly with hatred and scorn in their voice (To be fair, it was my name.)

parent degraded and humiliated me in front of others for fun

parent insulted and devalued something really important to me (I mean, in retrospect, it was dumb. Just a worthless paper model of a house, that's all. It wasn't even that great. I was a little kid, after all. So what if I'd spent all day on it? It was still garbage, really.)

parent deprived me of something that meant the world to me (I don't remember. I genuinely don't remember, but I still have trouble admitting that I care about anything because part of me is terrified that if anyone knows I like a thing they'll have a way to hurt me, and that fear has to have come from somewhere, right?)

parent yelled and swore at me in anger more than once

parent blamed me for things that were out of my control/not my fault (And they do feel bad about this now.)

parent shamed me for my physical appearance

parent guilt-tripped me for not pleasing them well enough (I mean, they tried. But good luck; I have no idea what guilt feels like. I bought a book about it because I was curious.)

parent regarded me as a burden, and shamed me for needing them at all (Hmm. I don't really do shame either. I was a burden, though.)

parent insisted I couldn’t take a joke after I was hurt by their insults

parent never comforted me / got angry if I reached for comfort (Again, to be fair: I'm autistic. I'm pretty sure they were just having trouble with my body language and facial expressions. Why else would they punish me for bad attitude when all I wanted was to be cooed at and fluttered over with the same concern they showed my siblings when they cried about their wounded knees?)

parent punished me for crying / showing fear / showing trauma symptoms

parent humiliated me for showing excitement and happiness

parent subtly let me know that my feelings and my problems don’t matter (They, uh. They don't. My feelings and problems are mine. Why should anyone else care? It's genuinely not their problem.)

parent got angry at me for feeling depressed / angry / tired / suicidal

parent blamed me for feeling depressed / angry / tired / suicidal (Who else's fault would it be? They're my feelings, produced by my body and brain, experienced only by me, in my own head. Dang if I see how anybody else could be to blame.)

parent compared me to cousins / other children to prove how I’m the worst (Dang you, Perfect Second Child. ... Although... in retrospect... that set-up wasn't great for you either, was it. Hm.)

parent decided for me how I feel when it was convenient for them

parent told me that I was crazy / delusional / need to be locked away (I don't remember. It sounds familiar. But I don't. I don't remember.)

parent threatened me with kicking me out / sending me away if I don’t change (Kind of? Does it count if you overhear your parents talking about it in their locked bedroom? Not their fault I was listening at the door, surely. They were genuinely considering it. I can't blame them. I was a terrible child.)

parent refused to accept my sexuality gender / tried to force it to change

parent required me to act normal to protect family’s reputation

parent isolated me from family activities they all enjoy (Nooo, haha, I did that all on my own.)

parent assured me that nobody will ever want me (I mean... "only a mother could love" is a saying for a reason. And if even my own mother couldn't love me, well! I don't remember whether anyone told me this outright. It just seemed... obvious.)

parent insisted that I was lucky and that I could have had it much worse (I could have!)

parent made me responsible for their well-being and made me the caretaker

parent insisted that their harmful acts were all done “out of love” (The subject of love was confusing. "I don't love you," "I hate you," "I have to love you because you're my child, so I love you—but I don't have to like you, and I don't, I don't like you at all" ...it was all very confusing.)

parent demanded I be available for their requests at any time (Well, yes, obviously. To Train Up A Child was very clear about this.)

parent punished me for trying to establish boundaries (Boundaries, boundaries. Hmm. Interesting concept....)

parent destroyed my belongings as a form of revenge (Revenge? I don't know. Consequences, I think it was. For keeping all my favorite toys on my bed, and nesting in them. So obviously they had to be thrown onto the floor. And at my head. Ahaha.)

parent made inappropriate sex jokes and comments in my presence

parent denied doing any of this and insists that all the blame is on me (I'm not sure they aren't right, honestly. As previously noted, I am a horrible person, and I was even more horrible as a child.)

Psychological Abuse

parent kept pointing out my flaws as proofs that I won't achieve anything (Mmm... was it them, or was it me doing this? Seems like they were always telling me how intelligent I was, how talented, how much promise I had. The voices asking why wasn't I doing anything, why couldn't I use the gifts God had given me correctly, why was I wasting it all, I'm the stupidest smart person ever, garbage, can't do anything right, etc., seem to have always come from my own mind.)

parent called me stupid, incompetent, ignorant, while withholding information that I needed to know in order to complete tasks

parent would change their side of the agreement at a crucial moment and then pretend it was obvious from the start

parent stalked me / distrusted me without any reason / invaded my privacy (I'm really not sure. What privacy? A four-bedroom house with twelve people in it has very little room for privacy. And if you have nothing to hide....)

parent attacked my insecurities and vulnerabilities in any argument (Dad's always been very good at this. It's his emotional intelligence, I think. Never been much of a cryer, but he can do it to me every time!)

parent forced me into degrading actions while they watched

parent threatened to leave me

parent regularly accused me of behaving the way they did

parent never acknowledged, praised or approved of my actions

parent always demanded they be acknowledged as right without any proof / explanation (Sort of? They had explanations. It's just that those explanations were often terrible. Not that my parents were aware of that.)

parent insisted that they’re a great parent using financial support as proof

parent insisted that I should be grateful for how good they are to me (Keeping me safe from the world! The evil, dirty, disgusting world, full of immoral monsters! Oh, the horrible things that could happen to me without their protection! ...Which is not entirely untrue, I guess. But... I dunno....)

parent gaslit me and tried to make me believe my memories weren’t real if I confronted them with what they did

Neglect

parent didn’t notice I haven’t been eating properly (Frankly, I preferred that. I never much cared for being forced to eat things that made me feel sick.)

parent didn’t notice I was sick / didn’t care for me while I was sick

parent didn’t notice I was injured (Eh. After the first few years of my life, that suited me just fine.)

parent didn’t notice I didn’t have clothes / shoes I needed for school (I didn't go to school.)

parent didn’t notice I suffered from trauma (Look, it's—it's the autism again, okay? Living in a world that hurts you horribly at unpredictable moments is traumatic. I didn't know it was trauma. I just thought it was life. So how could they have known?)

parent didn’t notice I was anxious and stressed (Oh, they noticed that.)

parent didn’t notice I was depressed (Once again—I didn't realize. So how could they? I'm really not sure this counts.)

parent didn’t notice I was cutting myself (Whipping myself, actually. With tree branches. Until the skin broke. Hmm, that was when I was in my early teens, though—as a kid I used to turn a little wooden rocking chair upside down and throw myself into the sharp ends of the rockers. To be fair, they might have noticed. Just... who really cares? I was a rough and tumble kid. Scrapes and bruises and cuts and what-have-you were to be expected. Anyway, there was no cutting; I never cut myself.)

parent didn’t notice I was suicidal (I wasn't. I'm not. I won't be. Mind over matter. Ha.)

parent didn’t notice I was being sexually abused

parent didn’t notice I was being bullied

parent failed to get me medical attention when it was needed

parent failed to teach me the very basics of self care

parent didn’t seem to notice any of my needs and feelings except the absolute minimum I required to survive (Uh. Anything more than the absolute minimum you require to survive isn't a need. You need to survive. Do you really need anything else? I mean, it's nice, a definite plus, but....)

when I notified them of these things, they denied it, accused me of lying, decided it wasn’t happening and/or blamed me for it

Financial Abuse

parent made me feel ashamed for needing money

parent made me feel like I was a financial burden to them (But I was. Come on, now. There's no way honesty counts as abuse. ...Is there?)

parent only gave me minimal money to survive (I don't—there were kids out there getting money from their parents? I mean, they're giving you clothes, food, and shelter already. What for would you need money? I must be missing something.)

parent made sure I never have a decent amount of money on me (Again—I never had that much money. Quarters from the Tooth Fairy: that was it. Money from birthday cards or whatever went in the college fund under their bed. "For your future." And I raided that stash later to buy books anyhow.)

parent took the money I earned from me

parent used the money to blackmail me (if you continue this way let’s see who will pay for your bus ticket!)

parent insisted since they “pay for my stuff” they have the right to control my behaviour and actions (and attitudes. Is this, um. Is this not true?)

parent had enough money for luxury but kept me without anything

parent refused to get my medicine / get me medical attention because it’s too expensive while they got everything for themselves (Nah, they didn't visit the doctor either.)

parent would keep me anxious over if they would pay my expenses or not

parent would make me do as much work for them as possible before they would pay for a necessity

parent kept me in the dark over family finances even when I was of age (Was that them, though? Or was that me? It's difficult to know what's going on with your money when you can't go outside during the day—so no bank visits—and you don't have the password to your bank account because you never asked for it, so you can't do anything online. Which was just as well, because my laptop was... not great. Almost certainly terribly insecure.)

parent would make sure I never have enough money to escape them

If you bold more than 5 things, you have been through abuse. For some particular ones, even one true thing on this list means you’ve been badly harmed by your parents. Also this list is not complete, there are many more abusive behaviours not listed here, feel free to add!

[fandom-hoarder]

listen I have so many questions about Stanford Sam, like this kid who was raised in the wild, barely aware of acceptable social conduct arrives with his 2 ectoplasm stained t-shirts at his dorm and like ????? is he very aware of it at first? or does he think he's hiding it well? and like moving in with Jessica?????? he doesn't know how to water plants and that you have to pay electricity bills ??? Like obviously he's not stupid, we know that!! But there are certain things about ordinary everyday life that are just impossible to pick up when you're raised like that. And this is just surface-level stuff, like I feel overwhelmed just thinking about how many tiny things I do in a day, just normal life stuff that I've always done, that Sam would be like ???? so weirded out by, or maybe creepily fascinated ??? Would he try and copy everyone around him maybe??? and then all the odd things that he'd probably do !!! like just basic marine survival nonsense he's dad probably taught him applied in mundane life situations that would make him stand out and he wouldn't even notice !!! And he thinks he's doing fine, people seem to accept him, but then suddenly someone mentions like... TRL or something and he's like ??? and then Dean picks him up and it all falls to pieces, because it's so EASY and ingrained and he doesn't have to pretend and it puts it into perspective how not okay he was doing at Stanford even when it felt like he was ?? god I'm just rambling, like I barely even have headcanons, I'm just so overwhelmed by all the possibilities of how this would play out !!!!

Holy crap, first I wanna apologize if this has been sitting here awhile. The Ask notification location in settings instead of notifications on the app is so weird and I get them so rarely I don’t think to check. (and the website shows that I have 4 but this one is the only one it’ll show? How does tumblr work? Oh yeah, it doesn’t lol.)

Anyway, I have so many thoughts on this! But they’re not necessarily cohesive?! Like first we all know Sam is super smart. He’s curious. He’s inquisitive. But he’s also sheltered in weird ways. There are things he’s known about the world that most people would never know about, let alone kids his age at any given time; yet the existence of those things--and the understanding that therefore potentially anything could be real--also lends itself to keeping him childlike--he had an “imaginary friend” at age nine and believed in the Easter bunny through age eleven, which is much later than the average probably???

By middle school, he definitely would’ve been feeling the strains of his otherness around his classmates, even if they weren’t constantly moving around, but of course the nomadic lifestyle just makes it even harder.

I think Sam is a very observant person, though. He figured out something was up with their dad and The Truth at age 8! So people watching is Sam’s saving grace for getting along in the mundane world. He definitely learns to mask his otherness by mimicking mundane people.

And I get sidetracked here because then I start thinking about exactly how their childhood went. We know John used Pastor Jim and Bobby as childcare/parenting support to some degree. I don’t think we really know anything about Caleb, maybe I’m forgetting something, but my headcanon is that Caleb functioned as a “fun younger uncle” type to Sam and Dean: cool, responsible in a pinch, but mostly not given childcare responsibilities because of his wilding tendencies. (they learn swears accidentally from Bobby and John, but Caleb TEACHES them.) Sam and Dean didn’t even know about Missouri until s1, so she’s off the caretaker list. They had that babysitter they met up with in uhh... Swap Meat! But largely we assume that Dean had a lot of the caretaking responsibilities; maybe with temporary babysitters in other places the same as Swap Meat.

And lbh you just can’t expect well-rounded, informed child-rearing from a kid only four years older. There’s a reason I associate a lot of weechester flashbacks with Sammy watching TV like in Something Wicked, because literally little siblings are A LOT and sometimes you just want them to sit still and quiet and leave you alone for a bit omg.(wait, give me a minute, I’m imagining little 6 year old Dean on the phone with Bobby because John ran out for food supplies and isn’t back yet and Sammy is still asleep but Dean’s creeped out in the longterm room they’re staying in because he KNOWS about the supernatural already. but then bobby gets on John’s case about it--and instead of never leaving Dean alone with baby Sam again, Dean learns from John’s belt not to call anyone when he’s left alone unless it’s an ACTUAL EMERGENCY. Or maybe, because marine, John doesn’t use his belt; maybe he uses PT instead and every time Dean thinks about calling Bobby for that reason again, his abs ache from the memory of punishment situps, or his arms get suddenly shaky thinking about doing pushups til he just couldn’t anymore.)

I haven’t read all of John’s Journal, and I know it’s not actually canon, but IIRC the bits that I’ve read from the wiki show John and the boys staying with a family friend in Lawrence for a few weeks, MAYBE a few months before John visits Missouri and everything STARTS. I think if he hadn’t picked up and left with them then, the family friends would’ve been contacting CPS because they’re starting to think John’s grief is making him unhinged. (I really want to read the journal tbh--there are bits I’ve seen that make me fantasize even more about boyking!sam storylines... but I’m getting even more off track.)

So we’ve got this weird/interesting dichotomy of kids that are groomed with these hyperspecialiizations, too weird to really fit in with other kids but sheltered from the actual hunter life also--like the fact that there ARE other hunters, like as a THING, not just their dad’s rando friends that, as kids, they may just assume know about the supernatural because their dad told them! (jfc they’re SO PRIMED to be each other’s entire world omg I’m gonna die)

So like, by being quiet and observant (an imaginative kid, by nature and by nurture as John starts to take Dean out more and leave Sam alone with his own thoughts), Sam would pick up a lot of things. But they’re never anywhere long enough for him to fully grasp everything and he would definitely suffer a bit from the Dunning-Kruger effect--not having enough knowledge about a thing, but having just enough that you don’t realize you don’t.

Let’s say Sam observes and picks up some things about normal residential life by being around a few mundane babysitters. The nature of John’s “work” would mean that, even if they were in a more in-home-daycare-like situation, they’d be likely to be the “after hours” kinds of kids that are still there when everyone else is picked up and the babysitter would normally be doing their normal life stuff: changing clothes, cleaning up from the daycare kids, making dinner, etc (sam and dean would definitely help, either out of kindness or duty or because it’s agreed that if they help out John will get a discount on their care costs--don’t mind me, just projecting my childhood onto the winchesters hahh. I’m NOT going to go off on a tangent about Dean already having so much experience caring for babies cuz of Sam. He definitely doesn’t have all the under-4s following him around begging for attention while he burps one of the three babies their babysitter cares for after a bottle. it DEFINITELY didn’t make Sam (age 4, 5, 6 maybe) jealous enough to repress the memory so that over a decade later he would claim that Dean doesn’t even LIKE kids.)

Uhh... what was I talking about? Oh yeah, Sam. Observing normal life. Anyway so maybe after things settle for the day, sometimes a babysitter will sit at the dining table with the weekly bills and their checkbook and do the bills. And Sam kind of loves things like this: it feels like something important; it feels like playing school before he was old enough to go (quick aside here: John totally enrolled Sam in school early, both because that’s the only way his age works with canon timeline and because it would make life easier if Sam was in school just like Dean--more cost-and-time efficient.) And maybe Sam goes and sits at the table and just. Watches.

And then he asks questions. When he’s curious, he doesn’t keep his questions to himself as a child (unless the subject is expressly forbidden: see Dean’s reaction when Sam brings up Mary). But his age would inevitably limit the scope and understanding of those questions. Adults are generally disinclined to fully explain the adult world to children, especially when it comes to finances, and in the 80s and early 90s?? With most of the adults of that time that I knew, those kinds of questions were considered rude and nosey. He might understand that adults have to pay bills; he may even understand something about utilities; but he wouldn’t necessarily understand all the requirements and frequency.

Though their nomadic lifestyle wasn’t stable by any “normal” definition, one thing to be said about mostly living out of motels is that your power is never cut off, or your water, or your heat. There’s always television, usually with cable. And the only form of payment you see going on is dad handing over cash or plastic at the front desk--one and done. My headcanon usually disallows the idea that they would’ve squatted in empty houses when Sam and Dean were kids (John makes plenty of bad decisions but I just don’t see him staying in a place without power or water with CHILDREN. Teenagers? SURE.) They would learn how to clean house and make proper beds even when it wasn’t always necessary with housekeeping available--both because of John’s military parenting style and because John would be most likely to opt out of daily housekeeping to lower the risk of having people ask questions.

So yeah, there are so many little intricacies of the mundane world that Sam wouldn’t be conditioned to even think about. Even the realization that he doesn’t know enough about regular life, as he grows up and longs more and more for that very thing because he’s never had more than a glimpse of it, wouldn’t necessarily be enough.

Would his natural curiosity lead him to ask those questions? He can’t ask John because he already asked Dean and got a dismissive answer because ‘what does any of that matter, Sam? we’ll never have to worry about that shit.’ and if Dean seems borderline offended by the sheer audacity of the questions in the first place, he knows John will be worse.

In the 90s, life skills were still kind of a thing in most U.S. schools. But in a really inconsistent way. Sometimes it was in health class curriculum; sometimes your math class would actually do a short focus on balancing a checkbook and banking if there was a chapter, but a lot of times those parts get skipped. You never use the whole textbook. Sometimes life skills was only in Home Ec, but H.E. was completely elective in my area when I was in middle school (the same exact years Sam would’ve been in middle school) and I’m assuming the same for most of the U.S. Sam may have taken it, or he may have taken something else instead (wood shop or computer class were the alternatives in my area). Maybe the nature of school hopping meant that he HAD to enroll in Home Ec, because resources for the other electives were finite, but somehow always managed to miss the bills and budgeting portion. Maybe he couldn’t even take Home Ec due to class size or resources and they just put him in a study hall for that period. (Maybe they put him in the computer class, where he mostly does book work until he gets a turn on the PC he has to share with his classmate.)

As an observant person, Sam totally would’ve known about TRL, I think. There’s no way at least one group of kids in the halls or lunchroom wasn’t talking about it every day in high school, especially with the advent of Britney Spears and Eminem and Jesse freakin Camp. Maybe he goes to someone’s house to try to hang out or to study and they turn it on and Sam watches raptly because it’s such a strange phenomenon and he hardly ever gets to hear new music, much less watch the videos. But he can’t actually get into it because the fangirls are annoying and his analytical mind won’t let him suspend his disbelief about how the voting works. (Maybe he tries giving it another shot in their motel room sometimes, but Dean vetoes that bubblegum pop shit IMMEDIATELY--no Sam, look, that shit isn’t REAL music; most of them don’t even play instruments. And it’s really not fair because Dean TOTALLY watched MTV’s The Grind in the early 90s for his fix of suggestively gyrating bodies before he figured out how to access porn without getting caught.)

Sam and Dean actually make a LOT of pop culture references, which always fascinates me. I imagine they did a lot of TV watching and VCR/movie renting in the times they weren’t working on a case with/for their dad (projecting again; my dad’s house was a very boring place on his weekends). The nature of Dean’s idolization of John and disinclination to let Sam have his own separate likes means they have a mix of age-appropriate pop culture knowledge and a lot of Boomer-era TV and movie knowledge--Dean more than Sam, maybe when it comes to things like cowboy movies and TV lol.

Anyway, as the realization that he doesn’t really know how anything works crept in, maybe Sam would try to lowkey create situations where he could ask his friends/his friends’ parents those normal life kind of questions. But maybe after his first few tries, he’s become so uncomfortably aware of how weird he is to even need to ask that he stops asking. Maybe he starts to tap into his specialized skills and starts snooping/creeping around their houses to try to glean knowledge. Maybe he scours the library for books on ‘what you need to know for life’--I have the urge now to do a google search on actual titles of books on this subject that may have existed at the time, but I’ve already spent a lot of time on this without going into research spirals. lol Maybe he can’t find exactly the things that are pertinent--still doesn’t fully realize that, though--and in the meantime his cache of esoteric knowledge continues to build.

So he gets to Stanford and he mostly understands how the financing works; enough to get by with enrollment and stuff. He understands that he’ll need to get a job of some sort to make ends meet because he’s there to be normal and normal people don’t pay for everything with scammed credit cards and billiards money; he knows that much. But he doesn’t really know about wages, minimum wage, freaking payroll taxes, etc. (I feel like Dean would’ve had odd jobs as a teen, some legit some under the table, but that the nature of John (and Dean) wanting to keep Sam home and safe would’ve made the subject of Sam working through high school a banned topic. And anyway, much as I’m not a fan of the characterization in Drag Me Away (From You), what Dean said to Sam about the impossibility of getting into college with the way his academic career would look is accurate. So Sam would’ve probably spent most of his free time on academics so he could get the fuck out, rather than trying to get a job.

Maybe having to buy his textbooks would be a surprise? John probably always qualified for Sam and Dean to be on free lunch/free book programs in public school, not to mention the likelihood of the records being at least partially counterfeit. But at the same time, John was probably very hands off with their school enrollment crap once the boys were old enough to handle it themselves, so Sam would at least have an inkling.

Sam would be a weird mix of no-boundaries and too-secretive, and his first attempts at acting normal would be a bit too put-on. He’s got experience acting per 1x16 (oh, maybe he did drama instead of home ec somewhere lol), but acting on stage is so much different to acting in a more personal setting. On stage you have to exaggerate your movements to project all the way to the back. Early-Stanford Sam, I guess, is a bit like Soulless Sam. He knows there’s something off about him compared to the people around him, and he just does his best to pretend he’s the same as them without calling attention to his differences, which ends up coming off robotic. A little Stepford. A little uncanny valley. He learns to bite his tongue every time he’s about to let something normal only to his family roll off it; learns to be even more vague than he used to be, because now he’s around strangers ALL THE TIME.

At some point, Sam has a little-but-big breakdown about a payment he missed or the fact that he had to steal shampoo because he didn’t even have toiletries in his budget and couldn’t even afford a bottle of White Rain or Suave, so since he was stealing anyway he got the special brand he really likes and then feels too awful to even use it and doesn’t wash his hair for a week. Brady takes pity on the cute but hapless puppy-boy who is a physical and academic behemoth but has obviously been living off-grid on some kind of militia commune for the past forever--at first the rumor was that he was Amish on rumspringa but the amount of times Sam has busted out some supremely random survival knowledge in casual conversation changes that rumor quickly--and has no understanding of the world. And by the time he moves off-campus with Jess, Sam has this masking thing down pretty well; he can almost forget he’s not normal sometimes and Jess only knows about his previous helplessness in a cute, anecdotal kind of way.

And then Dean comes and gets him and Sam’s all “you and Dad still doing credit card scams?” and Dean’s like “well hunting doesn’t pay the bills.”

AND SAM’S LIKE, NEITHER DO YOU DEAN! DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT BILLS ARE?! BECAUSE I DIDN’T AND IT WOULD’VE BEEN NICE TO KNOW!

[taurianskies7]

How do we make our own vedic chart and understand it? Any pointers would be really helpful. Thank you!

Hi!

Well, calculating your own chart is a bit easier! Probably look up any online vedic birthchart calculator or you can go here and download the short install version. Put in your birth time, date, place etc and you’ll get your vedic chart!

Now, you’ll probably end up getting a chart like this:

The first one is the North Indian style and the second is the South Indian style. The difference in them is mostly the placements, in North Indian chart the first block is always the ascendant (the number 12 represents the zodiac sign, which is pisces btw, and the houses move anticlockwise), while in the South Indian one, the zodiacs remain in the same block in any chart and the ascendant is represented by the diagonally cut line. (shown in the second figure, pisces is always going to be the upper left corner and the zodiac moves clockwise, so the block next to it is Aries, and next to that is Taurus and so forth). Now that you know where is where, you might be surprised by some changes in the placement of certain planets and even the ascendant. Don’t be so quick to judge them though. The symbols of the planets are Su- Sun, Mo- Moon, Ve- Venus, Me- Mercury, Ma- Mars, Ju- Jupiter, Sa- Saturn, Ra- Rahu and Ke- Ketu respectively. If you’re familiar with astrology, you should be able to recognise these planets easily, save for maybe Rahu and Ketu. So, Rahu and Ketu are the two nodes of the moon, the north and south lunar nodes respectively.  Now that you know which planet is where in your natal chart, we call it the D1 chart, as vedic astrology relies on divisional charts - your D1 is basically your natal chart. Before going to other charts, focus on this.  Vedic astrology puts greater important of Moon than the sun sign. Why? Because the sun sign is a fixed point, you can’t change your soul but the moon, the mind and emotion are volatile. To understand the moon better, and the other planets better too, you need to know what the nakshatra your moon falls in. Okay, so, Nakshatras or Lunar mansions, are basically stars/asterism that divides the zodiac constellations in typically three parts. Why the person w/same zodiac doesn’t act the same? you have to look at the nakshatras. Which is also divided into 4 padas, you can see why vedic astrology is nuanced as hell and this is just the natal chart we’re talking about. Lol.

Okay, so this is mine, pulled off an online calculator - it’s pretty straightforward and listed, in the program that I included (credit to @studyofastrology for suggesting it btw), it kinda goes into more details and the nakshatras names are shorted. Check out this post by @whenerosmetpsyche who listed out where all the nakshratras would fall in a western chart while wikipedia here lists all of them in vedic and western context. Upon inspection, you might notice that some of them overlap in different zodiac signs, yeah - this is exactly why I told you not to judge the planets and their placements immediately. Looking at this chart through western perspective doesn’t work. The Moon - The Moon signifies a lot of things, especially as it serves as the indicator of the mind in vedic astrology. It represents our personal needs and desires, basic habits, reactions, feelings, unconscious etc, it is basically you, “I think; therefore I am” applies and it’s very useful in determining one’s fate. In Vedic astrology, my moon is in Aquarius, which contradicts my tropical Pisces moon placement, but the description of the Nakshatra - Purvabhadrapada ties it all up, as the Nakshatra itself is ruled by Jupiter. Find out about the vedic interpretation of your moon sign, then the Nakshatras and its pada (there’s a lot of resources online both in written and video format, if you have any concerns, you can send an ask later too). Also, heads up, the older texts are very strict with their definitions and they usually don’t hold back when the list out the characteristics (aka even pointing out that some nakshatras are more likely to be criminals, or fail at marriage etc, don’t be shocked or anything because like, Vedic Astrology is nuanced as hell and seeing something like married life/spouse/career can include a LOT of factors, one placement doesn’t determine it.) You can do the same for the other placements too. LOOK at all of them through vedic interpretation! The Lagna or the Ascendant and its Nakshatra is very important too, because it basically structures your astrology chart and it can tell you what life throws at you. (Mine is in Chitra, pada 3 and I’m always forced to deal with situations in technical and systematic way) Rahu - The North Node of the Moon. You might be familiar with this, known in western spaces as your “destiny” but it’s not entirely that case in vedic. Here, Rahu is the head that was cut off from the body of a serpent demon, the shadowy entity that is constantly hungry and wants to consume everything. Rahu points towards the direction where your soul is obsessed with, something you want to achieve in the fastest way possible without all the hardwork stuff - because Rahu is extreme. It is the mind projected solely into matter. It amplifies everything. As it represents materialism, mischief, fear, dissatisfaction, illusion, obsession and confusion. Rahu is also the co-ruler of Aquarius (well, this can be debated but it is believed by some famous vedic astrologers), we’re living in his age right now and everywhere, you can probably see Rahu’s insatiable presence. (more, more, more, more!) Ketu - The South Node of the Moon. Ketu is the headless body of serpent demon, also the extreme opposite of Rahu. Ketu represents land that you’ve already conquered, spirituality, supernatural and it’s the karmic collector of good and bad, thus it also represents your past life, if you believe in it. Ketu can also represent Moksha as it is the point of ultimate detachment, unlike Rahu, Ketu wants to do nothing with the material world and it constantly has a separating/detached effect on wherever it sits in your birthchart. It is the mind that is withdrawn from any wordly connection. It is also valued as a point of wisdom and intelligence due to the spiritual nature of Ketu itself. Often times you’d find vedic teachings telling you to abandon the desires of Rahu to achieve moksha.  Why are Rahu and Ketu important? Because they basically spell out where your soul is journeying towards. The key to understanding Rahu-Ketu is by balancing both - Rahu is the point that you’re new at but you want to achieve the highest standard in the quickest way possible, while Ketu is the land you already conquered, only through applying both the knowledge of the past(Ketu) to move towards the future (Rahu) can you bring about a balance existence.  This is just the bare bones of it. There are a LOT of things you need to consider when learning vedic astrology but I can promise that it’ll bring about a lot of insights. Plus you can more or less find out everything depending on the depth of your understanding. Further topics to research can be: 1) Planet’s relationship to each other. 2) House’s significance. 3) Yogas 4) Mahadashas 5) D9 chart  6) D10 chart 7) Aspects in vedic astrology

[roccomoon]

a birth anniversary noticing

7.22.21

1036am

if you’re reading this, maybe you know me, maybe you don’t,

maybe you care, maybe you don’t,

theres no way i could know,

so i don’t really care,

but i do appreciate the energy,

and attention,

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its my birthday today, and im writing this,

typing it,

reflecting on how it feels,

an anniversary that notices when i first breathed life into this form,

it brings something tender, vulnerable, and sensitive out of me,

i woke up this morning, sat up, checked the time, and closed my eyes,

i sat until it felt i was ready to open eyes, i checked the clock,

20 minutes had passed,

all i saw was who i am, and how that wants to be,

how it already is,

but honestly, how that isness wants to be expressed,

theres so much i want to do,

and yet,

only ever one thing to do, that does all things,

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i remember being a young human,

feeling like i was just overflowing with a world inside of me,

it seemed like my dad was really important to a lot of people,

people showed up to his concerts and they cared about the things he said,

they cheered and applauded ,

i wanted that,

i tried to do it in sports,

and failed,

for the past 10 years,

I’ve really been doing my absolute best at creating meaningful art,

and admit-tingly , it always feels really nice when people care,

when they care enough to pay close attention,

when their attention is on me,

when i am in the center of someones attention,

and they’re absolutely focused on my expression,

performing music on stage,

acting in film,

seeing someone really grasp a tech idea that can be a huge business,

it feels really nice,

to be really seen and heard,

and felt , and noticed, and understood,

i guess i don’t need it,

but i actually do,

i have God’s love pouring through me,

and in many ways, that is the end all be all,

it is enough, but as my sadhana deepened,

i realized it was actually a bizarre western roman catholic christian trauma distortion to act like you don't need attention, or want to be the center of attention, or the center of your own galaxy, .. a star.

the west actually, because of toxic christianity mostly, has developed some kind of weird anti ego - egohood...

its like an ego complex about being anti ego...

like its frowned upon to want the spotlight or something...

but as sadhana deepened, and the Parusharthas unlocked much that was suppressed, ... i ... as i actually am, was unlocked, ... and allowed,

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there, here, is presence, that could go unnoticed by others, for centuries,

but i , rocco, now with integration, noticed,

that i actually need to be noticed,

i sat with this, and observed the reality,

i need it,

its not just a want,

it is a literal need. not just human. but a meta-physical need,

of every soul,

to varying degrees,

some more than others,

karmic structure is just as real as physical skeletal structure,

its about potential , and potential being wasted,,,, is sad,

the All is sad when such occurs,

so,

i need to be noticed,

in my growth and evolution,

it confirms that its happening,

and i only discovered this because i did my best to become invisible,

totally avoided my calling, and that "wanting" to being seen,

heard,

felt,

witnessed,

as a kid on tour, i practiced being invisible,

then in art, i wanted to become invisible so the art was seen, but i didn't get in the way,

but that was all still woven with fear of being seen,

for being seen as being the greatest living thing in existence,

which , i am,

i am literally the greatest living thing in existence,

,

not stuttering,

clarifying ,

i , am , the , greatest, living , thing , in , existence,

...

and i want, which is predicated on a need,

to be witnessed in that,

witnessed as attention, attention as awareness ,

awareness as love,

of, and for my evolution and expansion,

and not from lack, but from having,

from abundance,

from being, ,

,,

its not just a want,

its an actual human need,

that i acknowledge is sacred, and actually of divine accord,

why else would i be beaming with these desires,

to be seen and heard,

for no reason?

or for the one and only reason.

sat. chit. ananda.

:{}|:{}:}|}:}|{:}:}|:}:{|}:}{:{}|:|{|{:{}|:|:|:{}:}:|:{:{|}:|{}:}{:}:|}:|}:{}|:}{:{|:{|}:

i remember being backstage, and getting in the way one time,

we were on tour with kiss, and lynyrd skynyrd,

and i got in the way,

these dudes were pushing huge container things on wheels down the hallway, and i think i was walking while playing pokemon on my gameboy... and my dad grabbed my arm tightly,

and in my eyes, told me to never get in the way like that,

always be aware and cognizant of what's happening around me,

so i did,

that wasn't the first time that happened,

but it was the last,

i was never in the way again,

well, there were probably times, but since then i have been keen on not being in the way if i don't have to be,

since then, i love being against a wall,

or in a corner,

so i am able to see everything that is occurring around me,

i love being able to see, everything, clearly,

even in life, if i go days or weeks without being on top of a mountain, or on a big wide open road, it feels like claustrophobia,,, like i need to see evvvvverryyyything around me... its like a clarification of where i am in relationship to everything around me... and what all those things are...

theres this scene in one of the jason bourne movies where he basically flexes as to how aware he is... he's like... theres 3 dudes over there... one just got divorced... 2 are well trained... then there 4 other dudes over there... one likes pickles... etc etc... its like a sherlock holmes thing too... who is another one of my favorite super hero style reference points amongst the all.

:{}|:{}:}|}:}|{:}:}|:}:{|}:}{:{}|:|{|{:{}|:|:|:{}:}:|:{:{|}:|{}:}{:}:|}:|}:{}|:}{:{|:{|}:

it feels like that's what happened for several years,

i moved to la,

and just disappeared,

i needed to get bearings on who i was in relationship to literally everything else in existence.

i dissolved most the friendships i had from high school, and became a loner, and nocturnal,

i had actual human friends still, but now something changed,

and i was inward almost seemingly more than i was outward,

my friends were people who i didn't even know,

kid cudi, yeshua, tesla, einstein, thelonious monk,

artists, legends, great ones, channels,

and as i became more and more alone,

i became more and more aware of what i wanted to do with my life,

i wanted to channel the infinite into the finite,

and i although i thought i didn't need anyone to notice,

i realized, after a while of no one noticing, i did.

so if you're reading this. thanks.

:{}|:{}:}|}:}|{:}:}|:}:{|}:}{:{}|:|{|{:{}|:|:|:{}:}:|:{:{|}:|{}:}{:}:|}:|}:{}|:}{:{|:{|}:

the i am witness seamlessly bright in awareness at these words,

as they move through my fingers and appear on the screen,

when i watch them appear on the screen,

it feels like a mirror,

to me,

that’s how it feels,

i had these sensations inside of me,

and they were just sensations,

but not i am typing those feelings,

and they show up as words on the screen,

that’s pretty cool,

i guess that must be what my dad feels when he plays the guitar,

they were just feelings and sensations inside of him,

and then , because he is a master craftsman ,

he is able to become a channel, and fully express himself into that form,

i feel that when i write,

i feel that when im acting, when the camera is on,

or even on stage,

i feel that when im performing a piece of music i really care about,

i feel like i haven’t felt that in a while with music honestly,

it feels like i got away from just being my most ridiculously authentic signal there,

and i wanted to be cool,

cool feels like death sometimes,

sometimes its nice when it happens, but sometimes it just doesnt feel like who i am,

i don’t think I’ve ever felt cool acting,

i don’t feel like like that’s what its for ,

for me,

i love feeling the feeling of completely disappearing, and feeling whatever is that, fully,

and not having an opinion about what the feeling is,

terror, horror, anger, jealously, hatred, pain, sorrow, torment, love, joy, bliss, fun, happy, friction, confusion, lostness,

whatever,

as long as im feeling it fully,

then i call that “perfection”,

i call that “missing out on nothing”

i call that “fully reflective”

im writing a book about it actually,

its called “moon theory”

“missing out on nothing” means nothing is missing,

when nothing is missing everything is perfect,

resistance-less-nes-

the state of no resistance,

wu wet, zero point, crystallinity , buddhic emptiness,

perfectness,

my version of it,

:{}|:{}:}|}:}|{:}:}|:}:{|}:}{:{}|:|{|{:{}|:|:|:{}:}:|:{:{|}:|{}:}{:}:|}:|}:{}|:}{:{|:{|}:

…

so im sitting here,

writing this,

and noticing what is present for me,

and the other things i would like to be present,

that feel like, because i don’t see them outside of me,

but feel them within me,

they are missing,

but they are only missing from the outside,

they are present on the inside,

and that feels nice to distinguish,

they aren’t actually missing,

they are loading,

so they are coming,

coming into existence,

growing from thought, to feeling, to experiential manifestation,

from the inners of my inner awareness,

to the palpable touchable holographic matrix i access through senses,

that’s basically where im at right now,

nothing is missing,

but i notice what i would like to add to what is present,

i knew this last year too, but it was less accessible ,

less tangible,

as clarity,

:{}|:{}:}|}:}|{:}:}|:}:{|}:}{:{}|:|{|{:{}|:|:|:{}:}:|:{:{|}:|{}:}{:}:|}:|}:{}|:}{:{|:{|}:

last night my mom said that jesus is the only way to God,

that made me sad ,

cuz yeshua literally came to me and said that not true,

he said folks misunderstood his teachings, and ran with em,

he literally said that he is the crystal soul self,

which all are, and so all can get to God,

and his teachings have been horrifically, violently misinterpreted,

he told me this,

and it feels sad sometimes when those closest to me don’t notice who i am,

it feels sad sometimes when it feels like those closest don’t see me,

or , like they haven’t taken the time to realize who and what i am,

that’s okay though, it gives contrast so when there is the feeling of being super heard, seen, felt, and understood, its clearly noticed,

i know who i am,

and amongst all the things pouring through me,

and into the holographic field of reality,

i am glad to be this one,

with the awareness i have,

,,,

enough thoughts for today,

:{}|:{}:}|}:}|{:}:}|:}:{|}:}{:{}|:|{|{:{}|:|:|:{}:}:|:{:{|}:|{}:}{:}:|}:|}:{}|:}{:{|:{|}:

i phase out of rocco,

rocco’s eyes glaze over,

rocco looks up,

the channel opens like a flower,

we see rocco looking up to us,

we receive him with love,

he asks us,

what else should he write,

what else should he share with those who will read this,

he feels like not that many people will read it,

and so he feels less important,

because he compares himself to others so quickly,

we reassure him that is not appropriate ,

for the time will come ,

when everyone pays attention,

he feels our reassurance,

the reader wonders who is We,

we are rocco’s guardian guides,

yeshua is here,

gautama is here,

arch angel michael is here,

quan yin is here,

thoth is here,

gabriel is here,

st. germain is here,

melchizedek is here,

abraham is here,

ra is here,

we are rocco’s channel prism guardian gateway keepers,

rocco feels slightly scared to share this right now,

and we reassure him it’s okay,

for he is emptying into the infinite,

and dissolving into resolution,

you reading this is a sacred witnessing of a human beings dharmic resolution,

rocco looks up to us with a prayer hand emoji,

we look to him with the same,

this is enough for now,

thanks for reading,

thanks for paying,

thanks for your attention,

thanks for all you are,

ase, aho, amen, amun,

ra,

co,

,

[docholligay]

holligay rants/raves: big-name celebrity cooks and how they're perceived by people who don't typically follow cooking celebs

The state of “cooking shows” in general is sad at best and horrifying at worst, anyhow, but how the cooking show is now a game show that has everything to do with gimmick, and nothing to do with the earnest desire to teach technique, or learn technique, is not the subject of this essay, so I won’t go down that trail, but instead down the one of the celebrtiy chef. 

If I ask you who your favorite chefs, and it’s Bobby Flay, Cat Cora, Gordon Ramsay, Jamie Oliver, Masaharu Morimoto (The choice when people want to pretend they know a deep cut, or, god forbid, Anthony Bourdain, who I hope enough time has passed since his death that I’m allowed to point out he was so intensely mean-spirited that most of his appeal was built around being an extremely tall attractive white man, not “real.” (As David Chang found out when he, in an utterly annoying fashion, tried to follow in Bourdain’s grating footsteps, only to be told a fat Korean man can’t do that and frankly, THANK FUCK--perhaps Chang can still be saved) I assume you not only can’t cook, but you don’t follow food. 

That is not to say that none of these people have enviable technique or good ideas, on the contrary I find myself turning to Jamie Oliver for a number of things, and most of these people have earned their keep in the larger food world before they were celebrities, but they aren’t famous FOR their food any longer, so much as for their personality. I don’t even dislike Bobby Flay, but can you realistically define elements of his style? What would you turn to Bobby Flay for? Are people largely aware that he made his name in Southwest-style cooking anymore? 

People think these are “great’ cooks because the network finds them packagable in a way that say, Thomas Keller, Grant Achatz, Clare Smyth, Edward Lee, Elena Arzak, Yotam Ottolenghi, Gabe Rucker etc etc etc never have been, and quite possibly aren’t interested in being, even though, money on the line, I would say all of them are better and quite possibly FAR better than many of the chefs posted above (Gordon Ramsay I’m not sure. His meat technique is so fucking solid, but my point stands) And certainly all of these are more INTERESTING chefs than the ones at the very top. EVen those who had very cutting edge and bright concepts in food have mostly been caught in a lackadaisical haze as a bunch of White Americans looking for a really great macaroni and cheese recipe have become their bread and butter.

And like, get that money girl, but let’s not pretend that having a television show, particularly not one focused on actual cooking technique, means that you are one of the greats, and let’s not act like going to Guy’s American Bar and Whatever is actually a food mecca anymore than going to my own restaurant would be. 

Doc, where is the vitriol for Julia Child, for Emeril, et al? Well, you see my little ducklings, the difference here is in the fact that an earlier class of celebrity chef attempted to teach technique. You cannot watch Julia Child and not be a little tempted to try her techniques next time you’re in the kitchen, and I very much appreciate her “we all fuck up” keeping her errors on the air style. Emeril made cooking entertaining, but his show was him, cooking, which is why you’ll hear me have less rage toward the likes of Ina Garten (who has some excellent cookbooks for entertaining) or even Giada DeLaurentis, whose cooking style I don’t care for but at the very least she is cooking. 

And it’s not like the cult of personality over skill is a unique problem that the cooking world has, but I’ve watched it get worse and worse over the years to the point where a lot of times, there’s not even real discussions of technical merit when it comes to cooking. It’s all flash and no pan, and I would LOVE to help people get into food, but it involves things most Americans (and most of my followers are American) aren’t willing to do: Read, experiment, go to a restaurant and order something you might not like, cook, all these things that would deepen your experience of food far more than going to Mesa. 

Cooking is a skill, and it genuinely does me some sadness to see what could be a really great tool for teaching people how do things gamified or turned into something that people passively experience. Get into your kitchens are try something! 

[arsonistblue]

BLUE YOU HAVE OCS???? Please tell me everything about them

AAAAAA YES I DO!!!!! I’m writing a book (technically a series) and they’re all my children

It’ll all be under the cut bc this might get long (It did) since I’ve don a fuckton of world and character building, plotting, and meticulously planning the books, and I have a feeling people will want me to shut up but it’s my blog and I get to rant about my book if I want to kjlsdfkjlsdf

(I kinda have to explain some of the worldbuilding to explain the characters)

Most of them are from a different dimension similar to the “human” dimension, called the Middle. They’re also like humans themselves, but they each have a “difference,” which is what they call their power, for lack of a better word. It’s called a difference because, even if two people have the same ability, say, they could both control water, it would still be different for each of them. They’d’ all have a calling, for lack of a better word. And their styles have to be self taught.

There are 6 people, 2 sets of triplets, who are called the Crest. The Crest were an experiment to try and create a solution to help fix a corrupted world that seemed utopian. Sector 13, a rebel organization trying to fix said corrupted world, decided to tweak the genetics of six embryos to make them more powerful. Their idea of this was for these six to have two “differences” rather than the standard one (the thing is, though, they didn’t know just how powerful the six would be). 

Two sets of parents (The Quills and the Clearlys) volunteered to carry the children and raise them. However, word of the Crest got out, and in turn sparked a massive war. 

Okay, onto the characters!!! (picrew link)

This is Alex Clearly. She’s the main character, and a member of the Crest.

She was raised in an orphanage in the human dimension. She was born in the Middle, but due to being born in the midst of a giant war about her existence, her parents wanted to keep her (as well as the rest of the Crest) hidden away. So they (The Quills and the Clearlys) hopped from safe house to safe house while still in the Middle. However, they were found by a different organization who wanted the Crest dead (or worse), and a bomb was set to their safe house. The Clearly parents thought they were the only ones to survive, but then they found Alex (keep in mind, she’s a baby at this point) and decide “fuck this, she’s going somewhere objectively safer.”

So, they took her to the human dimension to be raised in an orphanage with one of Mrs. Clearly’s old friends (read: bitter ex-friends who don’t necessarily hate each other to death but don’t vibe any more) who was hiding out there. They would’ve set her up at a foster home but they were like, about to die from sepsis so they decided “this’ll work ig.” They did their best ok 

This orphanage, unfortunately, is run by a horrible old woman who (for reasons explained in the book) absolutely despises Alex. So Alex is kind of an outcast in this orphanage because of that. The only adult who actually likes her is Gwendolyn, aka Mrs. Clearly’s old friend. She also has a best friend, Eli. 

Now, given that Alex is part of the Crest, she has 2 powers. One appeared at birth, which was telepathy, which meant she could read others’ minds and emotions. But, because the universe hated her, she couldn’t block them, so she constantly has waves of other people’s thoughts and emotions hurtling at her (this is also me projecting as an empath jklsdflkjds hyperempathy is a bitch)

I’m currently debating whether to spoil what her other power is because you find out a few chapters into the first book 

Yknow what fuck it, she’s a hydrolic. She can control water and it’s awesome

I don’t want to spoil any more of her backstory, so now I’ll give some attributes!

Me, talking about Alex: So there’s this she/they

She’s been Through Some Shit (tm) but she’s a survivor, and taught herself self-defense, how to steal without getting caught (for when she really needed food/supplies), etc

She’s also a badass and tough as nails

However do not let her badassery fool you, she is in fact a Fucking Nerd

Trust issues are rampant

Definitely Not Straight (see the undercut [important note, the undercut does not exist until book 2])

V sarcastic

If you give her dumplings she will love you forever

Definitely said ACAB after the cops took away her Big Burly Guy Friends for Robin Hood antics (read: stealing from the rich and giving to the poor)

said Big Burly Guy Friends were Big Burly Guys, taught self defense classes in their garage. She (at the time, a skinny 7 year old) showed up and asked them to teach her to fight, and at first they laughed, but she learned self defense and every saturday she showed up and they gave her a juice box and some crackers

10000% has adhd

During book 1, she’s 13-14

In just a normal high school AU, she would be a closeted memelord

But would unironically say poggers

She hates rules

A lot

She goes out of her way to break the especially stupid ones

Stubborn as all hell

She’s also super protective and if you hurt someone she loves, you fear for your life

Long story short, she’s a badass nerd with adhd who could kill a man with ease

I love her so much it’s not even funny ok?? she’s my child

Next!

This is Eli Marcus. He was Alex’s best (only) friend at the orphanage. He’s also from the human dimension. 

Eli was at the orphanage since he was five. He was always friends with Alex, and tried to help her with her headaches, though Alex never told him she was a telepath. 

He’s a loyal friend, and always tries to cheer people up

He has a bad habit of forgetting to take off his binder at night, much to Alex’s annoyance

He loves to play the drums. There’s constantly a song stuck in his head, and he taps his fingers on tables or chairs or whatever to try to get them out

It works, then it’s replaced by another song

He probably has adhd too

He has tried to dye his own hair. It did Not work

Alex kept reminding him that he had dark hair but he was just “I am looking Away, I do not see it” so it only dyed his scalp red

So far we haven’t seen very much of him, he’s in the first few chapters of book 1. I’m planning on putting him in book 2 or 3 though!

This is Jazzi LeCiel, one of Alex’s best friends. 

Jazzi lives in The Middle, and she’s the same age as Alex. She’s a stratic, meaning she can control the air (like an airbender), but like most people, she didn’t discover it until she was around middle school age. Her backstory isn’t as developed since she’s not the main character, and the story is told from Alex’s perspective. 

She’s a disaster bisexual

She would unironically cuff her jeans

Loves causing chaos 

She’s pretty trusting up front but if you break her trust it takes awhile to get it back

Farily petite

Also a badass like Alex, but she’s also a dork jlsfljdfk

I love her so much it’s not even funny 

She’s one of the classic short-but-deadly people. By this I mean she could easily kill a man with her eyes closed and one hand behind her back, and probably would if he pissed her off enough

Very strong sense of community

She’s independent but knows when to rely on her friends and family, something she’s trying to teach Alex (since she always had to be independent)

She’s extremely creative and thinks outside the box, hell, she probably doesn’t even know where the box is

Next!

This is Torrent Rush. He’s another of Alex’s friends in the Middle.

Torrent is about the same age as Alex and Jazzi, maybe a few months older. He’s also a visidem, meaning he can turn himself (and, if he focuses, other people) invisible. (Also that’s not really what his hair looks like, but it was the closest I could find)

Daddy issuuuuuuues

His dad’s a piece of shit

He’s got an older brother, and thus is very competitive

He’s generally very caring and outspoken, also very kind even if you’re a total stranger

Though he has trouble keeping his emotions under control, and when he gets angry or upset enough, he tends to lash out

Someone get this boy some therapy

His favorite color is purple

Idk why I added that, it’s not relevant at all lkjfdskljdfs

He tries to be smooth and he kind of is ngl, but like not as smooth as he could be

He kinda has White Boy energy but he tries to not be like that, you know? Like he was raised with toxic masculinity but he’s trying to outgrow it

tl;dr he needs therapy and a nap

This is Ezra Quill, another of Alex’s friends and a member of the Crest. 

He’s lived in the Middle all his life as well, and is both a pyre (controlling fire) and a hypnolic (basically he can control other people’s minds and therefore bodies as well). He’s lived at a Sector 13 base for awhile, too. 

Imagine sunshine given human form. You have Ezra

Seriously he’s a cinnamon roll

I love him so much

He has on multiple occasions had fucking butterflies land on his nose. This is not an exaggeration. It happens multiple times

He’s a fucking NERD and will hyperfixate on anything 

He specifically loves baking 

Cracks a lot of jokes but he’s generally very sincere

Also he’s a tol bean???? child what are you doing up there

He’s quite fond of mango lassi and payasam

He plays with his fire a lot, purely to have fun. He loves lighting his hand on fire to scare people (Loretta, mostly) 

He fidgets

a lot

He always has to be moving, whether it’s tapping his fingers or doing that fuckin wave squiggle motion with his arms (he’s also really good at it)

He also hums to himself, but it always ends up with him making random sounds and making Alex think there’s a cryptid toddler in the other room

He loves big sweaters, not just because of how cozy they are, but also because he can slap people (read: Alex) with the long, flappy sleeves 

Next is Loretta, Alex’s adoptive mother and all-around wonderful woman.

Loretta is a master hydrolic, and teaches at the academy. She’s probably a repressed lesbian too lkjsdflkjdfs

She was a part of Sector 13 from the beginning of their work on creating the Crest, and when she met Alex, she almost cried because of the strong young woman Alex was becoming. 

Loretta will see a child (read: anyone younger than her), say “is anyone gonna adopt that thing” and then not wait for an answer

She had to physically stop herself from making Alex sign the adoption papers she keeps in her pocket at all times the first time they met

If you hurt somebody she loves, run

Faster

She has some dark spots in her past, in her present, too, but she’s working to illuminate them 

Also she’s in love with her best-friend-turned-enemy but she doesn’t know it

She is a fierce fighter when she wants to be. Nobody expects it, either. They see her and think she’s more laid-back, some daresay delicate, but she’s anything but. She’s taken down a full grown man while wearing heels

She’s basically adopted Torrent, Ezra and Jazzi too

She adopted Alex, but she also saw Torrent and Ezra and Jazzi and decided they were hers too

“How many children do you have?” “Biologically, legally, or emotionally?” 

I love her sm 

[avmisworld]

Jungkook as your boyfriend:

●     Y'all know Jungkook is MAJOR bf material

●     The cutest bean uwu

●     At the start of your relationship he was probably a bit awkward

●     The poor guy is so inexperienced he forgot what it's like talking to a girl who isn't doing his makeup lol

●     Is scared to do something you won't like so he's always really careful with his words and actions

●     Eventually he'll ease into it and become the shameless loving crackhead you know today

●     But sometimes he'll still get a little shy

●     Whenever he says something too cheesy or makes a cute mistake or you compliment him

●     Always has the cutest bunny smile during these moments

●     Always puts your needs before his own

●     If you're a foreigner, he'll spend hours learning your native language

●     Even though you know Korean and you have no problem communicating uwu

●     Makes sure you're eating well and sleeping enough

●     Even when he's on diets and sleeps two hours a day max :(

●     Always insists to help you even if you don't need it

●     "Y/N, let me help you"

●     "Babe, I'm combing my hair..?"

●     Is always ready to tell you how amazing and beautiful you are whenever you get insecure about your body and talents :'(

●     Is legitimately confused why you would ever be insecure in the first place

●     When he is insecure tho

●     You just tell him the harsh truth

●     That he's the world's cutest, most talented and golden bunny, and he's precious to ARMY and to his members uwu

●     Tells you he loves you at least a hundred times a day just to see you blush and avoid his eyes cutely

●     His favorite thing is making you laugh

●     Loves it when you make him laugh as well

●     He's an hilarious person so he doesn't have to try much to succeed

●     Loves to make funny faces at you during one of your fake-serious banters

●     You two have a shit ton of private jokes (wtf is funny about a plastic cup????)

●     You live on sending each other memes and stupid videos of people falling down stairs lmfao

●     You two are severe crackheads oof

●     It's very likely to find the two of you awake at 3 am having a dance party or karaoke after too much wine

●     Constantly having tickle fights, wrestling matches, pillow fights, what not

●     Do not forget that JK is a savage little shit

●     And that doesn't change because you are his girlfriend *sigh*

●     Teases you about everything and anything

●     Places things high up on purpose just so he can show up later with his chest puffed out and take it down for you with a smirk

●     "Did I hear a damsel in distress?"

●     But makes sure not to take it too far uwu

●     This kid is competitive af omg

●     A relationship with him means turning everything into some race or bet

●     "I bet I can finish this hot dog faster than you"

●     "Whoever brushes their teeth faster gets to shower first!"

●     You see this a lot when the two of you game as well

●     There is no way you can date Jeon Jungkook without playing Overwatch at least once lol

●     Video game tournaments

●     He wins most of the time but if he'll ever lose it's because he let you smh

●     Is competitive also when it comes to other people

●     Always has to prove to you that he's the best and that you made the right choice dating him

●     Like you would ever doubt that pffft

●     Whenever someone impresses you Jungkook would just jump out and be like

●     "That's pretty cool, but did you see the new move I learned?" *breaks neck*

���     Going to a fun fair would just be you going back home with a truckload of plushies from Jungkook winning in all the booths kfkfkd

●     Dates with him are so cute and fun

●     He loves taking you out sm

●     It doesn't matter if it's movie night, ramen dates, dinner dates, lunch dates, beach dates, amusement park dates, coffee dates, workout dates, study dates, ice-skating dates

●     Jungkook's inner child always comes out with you

●     Probably because he never really got the time to be a real child :(

●     You're the only person aside from his members and family who gets to see the real him

●     He's so whipped for you

●     Literal heart eyes

●     Can't stop staring at you with twinkling eyes and a wide bunny smile

●     When you catch him he'll look away and blush but he'll feel satisfied when he sees you blush as well uwu

●     He finds everything you do adorable and can't help but send you bashful laughs and affectionate gazes

●     even if he won't admit it kkk

●     Compliments you all the time

●     Compliments about your looks, your outfits, your smallest, most insignificant achievements uwu

●     Always notices the small things about you that no one else does

●     "Wow, Y/N, these new earrings look so good on you, babe"

●     Basically Jungkook loves to spoil you hehe

●     Buys you presents all the damn time

●     You don't encourage him to do so because you hate feeling like he's your sugar daddy or smth and you aren't with him from his money

●     But he just can't help it when he sees something he knows you'll like

●     Spends more time shopping for you than for himself

●     But it's all worth the gleam of excitement in your eyes when you see his presents

●     Even if you playfully slap him and pout

●     "I told you to stop wasting money on me!"

●     Also makes you his own personal presents uwu

●     Usually gives you them before he goes on tour to cheer you up

●     Anything from portraits of you he drew secretly, to paintings of beautiful landscapes, to songs he wrote for you, to a collage of pictures you took of you

●     Jungkook loves taking pictures and videos of you

●     Takes snaps of you secretly cause he knows you're shy uwu

●     His camera roll and gallery is entirely filled with pictures of you sleeping, eating, laughing, smiling, staring, talking, etc…

●     Plus cute selfies and candid shots of the two of you with huge grins and arms wrapped around each other

●     And memey selfies of the two of you that you would literally bury yourself if anyone would find lol

●     Also has little, random videos of you just scrolling on your phone or something

●     "Y/N, look at mee~~"

●     It's really hard when Jungkook leaves for tour for both of you

●     Late night video calls almost every day

●     Even when Kook is after a concert, with his eyelids sticking to each other like glue π-π

●     Calls you half asleep and the two of you just talk about meaningless stuff until one of you falls asleep uwu

●     Sends you snaps all day of him and the guys and everything they're doing

●     Does it so you'll see he's having fun and staying healthy

●     Wants you to do the same so you send him selfies of you and your boring university lifestyle

●     He insists that he finds it interesting and that he wants to see your face

●     "I can't be deprived of touching you and seeing you! It's too much."

●     Doesn't answer texts ever so you mostly communicate through phone/video calls and snaps/memes

●     When he comes back from tour you wait for him at the airport

●     His face lights up when he sees you and he smiles so wide π-π

●     No matter how exhausted he is he runs to you like a lighting bolt

●     Hugs you tightly and twirls you around while the other members watch fondly

●     One of the few times he'll agree to so much PDA

●     Usually he doesn't really like being too touchy in public

●     But he always holds your hand just to make sure you're next to him, safe and sound uwu

●     Brings you so much souvenirs from his trip abroad to make you feel like you were there with him

●     Snow globes, magnets, clothes, key chains, plushies…

●     All of it to remind you he thought about you every single day he was away

●     When you're together you're so domestic

●     If it's making food together, Jungkook teaching you BTS' newest choreo, working out, or even cleaning the house together

●     Nothing's boring with Jungkook

●     He's a whole different person when you're alone

●     Calls you sweet nicknames like "baby", "babe", "jagi", "princess" and "angel"

●     He's singing all day so it feels like your constantly stuck in "The Greatest Showman"

●     But you can't really complain cause Gukkie's sweet honey voice is your favourite thing to hear

●     Sometimes he'll talk to you in songs only to piss you off

●     But most of the time he'll sing to you when you can't sleep or when you feel sad or sick

●     He'll comb his hands through your hair gently while he sings to you softly *heart-attack*

●     Picks you up all the time

●     It might be because he loves to prove that he's strong enough to protect you and cherish you

●     But also because he loves hearing your shrieks of surprise and soft laughter

●     Piggybacks on the street, carrying you bridal style around the house, lifting you up like a baby in his arms when you playfully fight and twirling you around

●     Just all the time really

●     "Okay, okay, I'm sorry~~ Please let me down"

●     Because you live together when he's in Korea you're always stealing his clothes

●     He pretends to not like it and demands you to give it back to him

●     But if you're ever cold or in the need of some clothing he'll be the first to throw you his wardrobe

●     His slightly possessive nature feeds off seeing you all small and soft in his clothes

●     It probably turns him on tbh

●     Because of this he has a big thing for couple items as well

●     Whether it's outfits, phone cases, lockscreens, accessories, and eventually jewelry (like promise rings uwu)

●     Brags about you to the members 24/7

●     "Look at this picture I took of Y/N when she wasn't looking! Isn't she the prettiest?"

●     "Hyung, did you hear that Y/N was voted for best student in her class? Wah, I was really so impressed! She's a genius."

●     The members high-key tease him for it and say it's annoying

●     But they secretly think it's adorable how happy you make him and adore you so much for it fr

●     You getting along with the rest of the members so well makes Jungkook really happy

●     Even though he might get too protective sometimes

●     Gets jealous often and is horrible at hiding it despite not saying it directly smh

●     Watches from afar when you laugh at something Taehyung says, pinching his cheek lightly

●     His eyebrows are furrowed and he's tonguing his cheek like he always does when he's jealous

●     Eventually he has enough and comes over to you

●     Pecks your cheek or pulls you to sit in his lap and tells everyone about the date you have planned for tomorrow

●     "So, me and Y/N are planning to go to a picnic tomorrow at Han river…"

●     And you're trying so hard not to smile cause he's just being so obvious and you find it cute

●     A few time his jealousy leads to fights tho

●     Fighting with Jungkook in general is a rare occurrence

●     But when you do fight it can get pretty bad

●     Rather than shouting or losing his temper, Jungkook tends to shut himself off when the fight is serious

●     He stays quiet and talks only when it's necessary

●     "Whatever" "Do what you want"

●     It's mostly because he's afraid to say something he'll regret later

●     He'll probably leave the apartment and go to the gym/studio/dorm room to calm down and clear his head

●     Because both of you have big egos, it might take a few days to make up

●     If Jungkook's at fault, he will eventually swallow his pride and apologize to you

●     If it were the other way around tho

●     You're not going to hear a word from him until you admit you were at fault

●     No matter how much it'll hurt him to be away from you

●     Even after the fight is over it might take a little time for things to go back to how they were

●     Because Jungkook's pride and insecurities might get in the way of him approaching you

●     But with enough patience you'll be back to being the inseparable couple you were before

●     In case you think I forgot

●     Skinship is a must in your relationship

●     Jungkook loves to cuddle with you

●     He's always the big spoon, with his hands underneath your (his) shirt, just gently caressing the skin of your stomach and hips

●     Or with you laying on top of his chest, legs tangled together

●     A lot of times cuddling leads to heated make out sessions and even more

●     When he's troubled or exhausted he likes to nuzzle his head in the junction between your shoulder and neck and just breathe you in

●     Tight hugs when you see each other after a while with his hands pressing your face to his chest protectively

●     Back hugs are a must obviously

●     Creeps up behind you when you're working and scares the frick out of you when he wraps his arms around your waist

●     Loves forehead kisses because it's another opportunity to boast about how tall he is smh

●     Also cheek kisses, nose kisses, ear kisses, neck kisses, knuckle kisses and lip kisses ofc lol

●     Kisses you out of the blue and then pretends like nothing happened

●     "Sorry, I couldn't help it"

●     Lots of sweet, soft, loving kisses uwu

●     Has a thing for nibbling/biting you (mostly your earlobe/bottom lip/fingers)

●     Loves giving hickeys oml

●     It fits his possessive nature perfectly

●     The more people know you belong to him, the better

●     Loves when you sit in his lap skdjd

●     He wraps his arms around your stomach and pulls you closer so he can place his chin on your shoulder, occasionally leaving butterfly kisses all over your neck and shoulders

●     Also into cuter things like poking your cheeks when you do something cute, ruffling your hair, tickling you and pinching your cheeks and bopping your nose.

●     When it comes to bed, Jungkook is definitely a dom

●     Just like he is on stage kdkck

●     Puts your pleasure before his own and makes sure you're a 10474859% with whatever he's doing beforehand

●     Sex after a fight or after he gets jealous and needs to remind himself you're only his

●     Dirty talk ahhhh

●     He can also be soft tho

●     Like when he's making love to you omg my hearteu

●     Whispering praises and sweet words in your ear

●     Staring into your eyes with his dark, intense ones

●     Moans alot and likes it when you do too

●     Occasionally he lets you have the upper hand

●     Doesn't spend too much time on aftercare because he wants to go back to holding you as quickly as possible

●     The two of you fall asleep naked with your bodies completely tangled together

●     Also likes showering with you

●     less in a sexual way and more as another opportunity to pamper you

●     Scrubs you carefully and puts shampoo for you

●     Uses soap foam to grow you a fake beard this boi srsly

●     Basically he loves you like no one else and you're destined to be

●     The best boi there is <3

[bluekaddis]

Today is 11/11 which marks 101 years of Poland regaining independence and I thought it is a perfect time to publish a post that I’ve been working on for a while. 

Ferelden from Polish Perspective aka Why We Can Relate to Dog Lords So Much. 

This is a sort of compilation of my own thoughts I had while playing the games and various talks with my Polish friends. It is not supposed to force any ideas or teach others how to interpret the game. I just thought it could be entertaining for anyone interested in history and culture. I was trying not to elaborate too much on the subject here but it still ended up being A Very Long Post TM. To make this post a little neater to read, I divided this post into 4 sections:

1. History

2. Fashion and Food

3. Politics

4. Relationships with Other Countries

I will be very happy if you find a minute or two to read some of my points. If you have any additional questions or comments feel free to leave me a message :)

And once again - enormous thanks to @aeducanka​ for proofreading. I would be a poor mess without you. 

DISCLAIMERS

1. Yes, I know that Ferelden is based mostly on Anglo-Saxon England and I have no problem with that. True, I may be a little disappointed that the game includes references to so many European cultures and countries (France, Byzantine Empire, Venice, Roma culture etc.) and yet practically ignores Central and Eastern Europe completely, BUT this post is not meant to be a “Where is my representation?!” rant. If I wanted a game with Slavic culture vibes, I could always play the Witcher trilogy again. We are doing alright. 

2. I am in no way an academic specialist on culture or history, even these of my own country. I did some research, but most of facts and figures can be easily found on wikipedia. You can treat this as just some observations and headcanons of a 29 y/o Polish woman, who has grown up and lives in Poland. 

3. The main focus of this post is Poland in different moments of history. However, when talking about fashion and political system I will mostly refer to Polish culture between the 16th and 18th century. During that time Poland and Lithuania formed a dual state known as The Polish–Lithuanian Commonwealth. So, whenever I refer to this particular period, I will use the term “Commonwealth” instead of “Poland”. 

PART 1 – HISTORY

The country’s name origin

Ferelden means „fertile valley” in Alamarri tongue [WoT vol. 1], Poland most probably comes from the Slavic word „pole” meaning „field”. They both refer to land that can be cultivated.

History of unification

Ferelden lands were divided between many tribes until they were unified by Calenhad Theirin. He fought and defeated other Alamarri tribes’ leaders, proclaimed Andrastianism as the new official religion of his kingdom and started the Theirin dynasty.  

A similar story can be told about Mieszko I of Poland – the leader of the Polans tribe (one of many Slavic tribes of that time) who, by means of war and diplomacy, united many Slavic tribes and created the Polish country in 965. In the same year he was baptised, abandoning native paganism in favour of Christianity. Mieszko started the Piast dynasty which ruled Poland for over 400 years. He never officially became a king, though – his son, Bolesław, was crowned king in 1025.

Also, Ferelden is a relatively young country compared to countries like Orlais or Tevinter. Even if Poland has over 1000 years of history as a country, it has to be noted that some Western European countries have a longer history (eg. the Carolingian Empire or the Visigothic Kingdom). Polish lands have also never been a part of the Roman Empire. 

Fun fact – the half-legendary sword of the first king of Poland, Szczerbiec, was stolen by Prussian troops during their invasion on Poland in 1795. Calenhad’s sword, Nemetos,was lost during the Orlesian invasion on Ferelden [WoT vol. 1].

Ostagar

Now, I will tell you a story. It is about a young king (in his twenties), a little reckless, wanting to be the leader who stood against the great invading threat to his country, a little blinded by the perspective of glorious victory. Just before the battle one of his allied forces betrayed him and did not provide the promised aid. The enemy army was too strong, too large. The king’s army was defeated, the king was killed in battle and his body was taken by the enemy. The king did not have children and his younger brother had succeeded him.

No, I’m not talking about Cailan, this is the story of Władysław III of Poland.

PART 2 – FASHION AND FOOD

Fashion

All cultures in Thedas have their own style and fashion. Ferelden is supposed to be this “We like fur and warm fabrics” culture, opposite to the extravagant Orlesian style. However, I have few problems with how Fereldan fashion is shown in the game.

1. It is too early-medieval looking. I know, it is a fantasy, you can mix ancient Egypt with steampunk and nobody should care. But we see, from cultural and technological perspective, that Thedas in Dragon Age is more renaissance/baroque than your typical medieval. Heck, some elements, like the infamous Formal Attire, look like clothes from 18th or even 19th century! In comparison, outfits like Arms of Mac Tir or Robes of the Pretender (though good looking) look like something from the Vikings era.

2.  We do not see many good looking Fereldan outfits in the games. I like Alistair’s royal outfit and some of Fereldan armors and clothes from DA:2 but remember this?

Or this?

Yeah, Dog Lords can do better :/

And that’s why I like to headcanon Fereldan fashion as something more resembling the Commonwealth fashion between the 16th and 18th century. It was an interesting mix of European and Asian influences and I think it would work perfectly with canon Ferelden because:

1. People LOVED fur elements in their clothing. Fur lining on coats, fur caps decorated with feathers, pelts of wild carnivores (lions, wolves, bears, etc.) on armour  - fur was everywhere.

2. It is simple but regal. The quality of materials and patterns were more important than volume and the number of layers. A typical male noble outfit consisted of a long garment (żupan), a long, ornate sash, one of two types of cloak (delia or kontusz) and a fur cap decorated with feathers and jewels. If you compare it with the baroque fashion from France it is less extravagant and more practical. No wigs, no flounces, no man tights. 

Compare these two dudes – the older one is dressed Commonwealth style, the younger – in French style. 

The Deluge, 1974

Of course some wealthy noblemen who spent a lot of time in France or other Western countries tended to adapt their style, but from what I know it was not that common. Women, on the other hand, tended to dress more similar to their Western counterparts (especially when they wanted to look fashionable) but their everyday dresses were not that much elaborate. They also wore kontusz (though the female version was shorter) and fur caps when outside. 

Below I post some more costumes to better illustrate my point. They all come from Polish movie adaptations of H. Sienkiewicz’s novels (I looove both the books and the movies).

With Fire and Sword, 1999

The Deluge, 1974

Fire in the Steppe, 1968

And I could not NOT to mention the wonderful interpretation of Fereldan armor and clothing for my OCs drawn by @ankalime​ - I still can’t get over how beautiful they look :3

Food

From what we know, Fereldan food is very similar to traditional English cuisine (lamb and pea anyone?), HOWEVER, I can totally see some traditional Polish dishes on Fereldan tables. Let us look at this part of Alistair’s banter with Leliana:

“Now here in Ferelden, we do things right. We take our ingredients, throw them into the largest pot we can find, and cook them for as long as possible until everything is a uniform grey color. As soon as it looks completely bland and unappetizing, that's when I know it's done.”

Dishes like bigos, flaki or goulash (mostly associated with Hungary but also present in various forms in Slavic countries) totally fit this description. Tasty and hearty but I know some foreigners see them as totally unappetizing :P

Poland is also culturally more into beer than wine  (high five, British Isles!), so Fereldan ale fits this image, too.

PART 3. POLITICS

When I first played DA:O and heard about choosing the new queen/king on Landsmeet I was like “omg, they have wolna elekcja!”

The canon Ferelden is a feudal country, however, there seems to be less focus on the king's absolute power – instead, the nobles can choose the king they like, the hierarchy inside this particular social class is also less striking than one can expect. 

And this brings me to the concept of Golden Liberty. (I will quote Wikipedia here, I am not that smart to explain this well in English on my own).

The Golden Liberty was a unique political system of the Commonwealth – a mixture of monarchy, oligarchy and democracy. The most distinctive elements of that systems were:

- All nobles regardless of rank or economic status, were considered to have equal legal rights (and you did not have to own a town or two to be considered a noble – a large part of the nobility owned nothing more than a farm, often little different from a peasant's dwelling, and some did not even have that much). The rights were, for example:

-  Neminem captivabimus ("We shall not arrest anyone without a court verdict").  

- right to vote – every nobleman, whether rich or poor, could vote. Of course if someone was rich, they could bribe others to gain more political influence, but it is the same as today. 

- religious freedom – unlike many other European countries of the time, people in Commonwealth were legally free to follow any religion. The Commonwealth became a common refuge for people who were persecuted for religion in their homelands. The religious freedom was not restricted to nobility but to all social classes. 

- rokosz - the right to form a legal rebellion against a king who violated nobility freedoms.

- the monarchy was elective, not hereditary, and the king was elected by the nobility. That “democracy” was not, of course, perfect, as only male noblemen had the right to vote and elect the king. However, it was still between 10-15% of the population who could vote. In comparison, “in 1831 in France only about 1% of the population had the right to vote”

The Landsmeet in DA:O is basically the free election (well, maybe minus the duel :D) and I would say the Fereldan nobility does not feel obliged to be obedient 100% of the time. 

PART 4. RELATIONSHIPS WITH OTHER COUNTRIES

Orlesian occupation

We know from the game that Orlais invaded Ferelden in 8:24 Blessed and occupied it for decades. The Fereldan forces were rebelling against the occupant and finally, under the command of Maric Theirin, they won their freedom.

Again, it is a huge topic, so to summarize: Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth suffered a similar fate in 1795 as it was conquered and divided between Habsburg Austria, the Kingdom of Prussia and the Russian Empire. For 123 years Poles have been trying to regain their country, have started several uprisings and lost many lives in their fight for independence. Finally, at the end of WW1, independent Poland reappeared on the map of the world. Then came the WW2, probably the most tragic event in Polish history – the cities were razed to the ground, a vast part of national heritage destroyed or stolen, and over 6 million people (1/5 of the pre-war population) were killed.

So yeah, a country invaded and occupied for decades by its neighbour sounds way too familiar to be ignored. 

Ferelden in the eyes of Orlesians

The Fereldans are a puzzle. As a people, they are one bad day away from reverting to barbarism. (...) They are the coarse, wilful, dirty, disorganized people [DA:O Codex Entry: Culture of Ferelden].

Yeah... this, unfortunately, sounds familiar. I fear that the stereotype of a drunk, stupid, poor, thieving Poles (and other Slavic nations), which originated from WW2 propaganda, is somehow still alive in the West. I will not dive deeper in this subject because I want to believe my followers have their own brain cells and I do not need to explain how hurtful and offensive those stereotypes are.

My point is – I could identify easily with a fantasy country that is located east from the “centre of culture and civilisation” and is unfairly believed to be more barbaric.

So – for all two of you who bothered to read the whole thing - thanks for coming to my TED talk.I really appreciate the time you spent here :)