#because i was spending quite a bit of money on art that just made me disappointed

[sky-fire-forever]

It is... so hard when I genuinely really want to commission art and I find an artist who I absolutely love and whose style I adore!

And then I realize they don't draw fat people. Or I tell them the character I want is chubby or fat and they send me back a sketch with a skinny person anyway. And I'll say "oh, actually, they're not skinny!" And they'll be like "Oh, okay" and they'll send back another sketch barely changed. And I'll be like "Okay, so, they're not skinny! Sorry to inconvenience you, but this character is fat. They're round." And the next sketch will barely be any different anyway

And at that point I don't want to be annoying, so I'll just be like. "Oh... okay." Because I dunno! I'm not an artist! I don't want to be an ass! But when I imagine my characters as fat... I'd like them to be fat, I dunno

[mareastrorum]

These are just initial thoughts, and perhaps I’ll learn something that changes my mind on it, but I’m glad to see Critical Role making the leap to their own subscription service with Beacon.

As a lead in: I’m an attorney that has some background in IP law, though it isn’t what I practice currently. I’ve kept in contact with several active practitioners, particularly those that represent small-time creators either in their own independent practice or via nonprofits. I do not have an extensive Rolodex of IP peers, nor do I spend the money to keep up on IP CLEs. I’m just someone who used to know a ton because I did heavy research and work in that space, and that hasn’t been the case for years.

So here’s my thoughts a bit on the IP angle:

The primary reason I’m happy to see this leap is that CR is taking active steps to keep control over its IP. It’s a boring thing to most people, but when I start paying attention to a specific creator (authors, directors, companies, etc.), I tend to be very attentive to how they use their IP. How freely do they license their marks to partner with other creators to make merch? How often do they allow others to make adaptations or derivatives of their copyrights? What is the quality of those products? What is the supply chain like? Are those third parties objectionable in some way? Were the other parties faithful to the original works or marks? Was this a cash grab or an earnest effort to make something worth the price tag?

Honestly, I like how CR run their business. They have a history of tapping fans and fellow small businesses when making new merch or spinoffs. They embrace the culture of fan-made derivative works, both by featuring fanart/cosplay and by sharing their success. Do you know how rare it is for a company to pay fan artists for their already-made and freely posted work and then sell books of it? Let me be clear: CR bought a limited license from each artist so they could print and sell each work in a physical book, then paid the cost of publishing that book with no guarantee that CR would make that money back, let alone profit. I have a copy of the collector’s edition art books: they’re actually very well made and the packaging definitely cost a pretty penny. That’s not a rainmaker idea, that’s genuinely risking financial loss to sell something people could access for free if they wanted to.

The art books aren’t a one-off either. Darrington Press is CR’s separate LLC for tabletop games. (It’s good business practice to split off companies that handle products in different industries.) CR has also made shows based on those games, and the Candela Obscura series has quite a dedicated audience. Everything about Candela belongs to them: the game itself, the rule book, all the art in the book, the web series based on the game, and merch. It’s so successful that they invested in scheduling a live show for Candela later this month. That’s HUGE.

Contrast that with the distribution of Campaign 1 and the first 19 episodes of Campaign 2. CR cannot host those videos themselves; Geek & Sundry still exists and still holds what I presume to be distribution rights (but I don’t have the contract to review). So G&S gets to host those videos on YouTube and reaps the advertising. I can’t speak to whatever share CR gets from that, but considering that CR is locked out of hosting their own copies of those videos, I doubt it’s much, if any, revenue. (If you’re wondering why CR just didn’t buy those rights back, I ask: what incentive does G&S have to sell something that’s making them money for no cost?)

Knowing that background about G&S, I was wary of CR choosing Amazon to host and distribute The Legend of Vox Machina. Originally, TLOVM was not the plan; CR had a kickstarter for an animated special based on C1. It was only because they blew past the goal that CR was able to make an entire season. The reasonable assumption is that choosing Amazon had to have secured CR additional funding for future seasons of the show, which seems evident from how quickly season 2 was announced, Mighty Nein Animated is also going to be a thing, and that season 3 of TLVOM is scheduled for fall 2024. CR had the option of just doing 1 season and keeping it purely in their control, but going with Amazon meant they could animate more of their works. Animation is expensive. I cannot stress enough how doubtful I am that CR would have been able to afford this many episodes and both campaigns if they had not gone this route. As wary as I was in the start, it paid off, and it’s going well—so far. Hopefully CR doesn’t regret that decision if Amazon tries something sleazy. But, as before, we don’t have the contracts and can’t know how secure CR’s position is if any dispute came up.

CR also partnered with Dark Horse Comics to make Vox Machina comics and Might Nein Origins comics. What’s especially surprising is that each of the cast had a hand in writing the MNO comics for their characters, with Matt listed for multiple. That isn’t very common with comic adaptations. Often times, IP owners let comic companies go ham with minimal oversight. Being listed as one of the authors comes with IP rights that have to be negotiated. That means that Dark Horse had to talk with CR about whether that warrants more or less revenue going to which party in exchange for that—or, alternatively, whether the comic gets made at all. That’s a ballsy move. You think people can just demand to write the comics that a publishing company is going to pay to print? Pffft. CR wanted some creative control, and that is a big ask. However, Dark Horse still has the distribution rights, both digitally and for physical copies. You couldn’t buy the comics from CR until they came out with the library edition, a book bound compilation of 4/8 comics. But the publisher is still Dark Horse; CR is just allowed to sell the book directly from their own site as well.

Contrast that with the novels about CR characters. CR partnered with Penguin Random House to publish novels about Vex and Vax (Kith & Kin), Lucien (The Nine Eyes of Lucien), and Laudna (What Doesn’t Break). Liam and Laura were vocal about having some say in K&K, whereas Madeline Roux said in an interview that she had full control over TNEOL. Both of those novels were narrated with CR voices, but narrating a book doesn’t come with IP rights, it just brings in a paycheck. There’s a lot less IP control in there compared to the comics, but this isn’t abnormal for book publishing. To be blunt, I doubt PRH would have agreed to publish the novels if anyone from CR had been a co-author or had heavy oversight over the author or the editing. I don’t think PRH even considered that as an option. Either an author that has already managed to sell X number of copies or nothing. Creative control over a book a huge ask, asks come with reduced revenue, and switching to books from a web series is already a leap. The fact that Laura and Liam had any say is surprising, really.

That was a long meandering tour of what we’ve seen CR do with its IP. The reason I bring up each of these things is that navigating the way to protect an IP in this space is rife with challenges. Different types of IP warrant different strategies because of the cost involved in creating each medium and the challenges placed by industries that have already sprung up around them. Any time that a third party is tapped to create an IP, it’s usually because they already have the funds and resources to create the work, and CR has to negotiate for revenue, creative control, distribution, and—the big one—who gets to be the owner. These are not easy, quick, or fun conversations, and CR is always going to be the smaller company at the table.

Knowing that, I’m not surprised or worried that CR is creating its own independent subscription service with Beacon. It tells me that they’re being careful with their IP whenever they can. A subscription service means they don’t have to trade away distribution rights or give up ad revenue to a third party. They’re in this for a long term investment, and that requires solid income not tied to third parties that can definitely outspend them in litigation in the event of a dispute. A subscription for bonus content is one of many parts in a diverse revenue stream.

(All that said, this isn’t meant to criticize creators that cant afford to do this type of thing. It took 9 years for CR to get to the point where Beacon is financially feasible and a desirable business decision. They have enough ongoing, popular content to warrant paying for a subscription, and they’ve built sufficient trust with their audience that more will be added. That takes time and an awful lot of money.)

As a final note, I take this step as a sign that CR definitely intends to stick around. This isn’t a move people make when they plan on ending the business after the current campaign. I’m glad to see CR is taking steps to secure their foundation and keep making new content.

I’m sure people will chime in on other issues (cost, content exclusivity, etc.), but I hope my perspective gives an idea of why this sort of thing is good for business generally and why it would be good for CR.

[toomanywatchers]

My Thoughts on WatcherTV

Hi, I am here to put away my meme-making skills to express my genuine thoughts on Watcher’s announcement; WatcherTV. Before I get into it, this is for any of those at Team Watcher who might be seeing this message: Just know we love and support everything you do for us. Y’all truly do not get the credit you rightfully deserve. I hope with this change to a separate streaming platform you guys can create the content you want to make, pull in creators that you’ve always wanted to work with, and share voices/topics that may have not had the chance to shine because of YouTube’s heinous algorithm. I know myself, and many others, are excited to see what WatcherTV brings. For instance, I already watched Road Files and the trailer for Travel Season on the new platform. And guess what? I love it! I just love BTS-centric shows and seeing the vibes established on Travel Season. Along with more Lizzie/possibly-more-sightings-of-other-Team-Watcher-peeps content?!? If this is what holds for the future of WatcherTV- oh boy, do you already have me more on board than I already was.

I also send my sincerest regards too. We all know that the internet can be a negative space with many sharing their uncensored thoughts, and I hope none of you take the hate to heart. I also hope you can take the weekend to breathe, drink some water, spend time with loved ones, and celebrate this huge step you all are embarking on. I am truly excited to see what is to come on WatcherTV will be there with each step to support.

Now to my fellow fans of Watcher. I understand the concern and it is okay to have concerns. It shows that you truly care for Watcher as a company and don’t want anything negative to come about with this decision. BUT on the other hand, spreading hateful messages? Not. Fucking. Cool. It is quite simple to express concern in an appropriate/respectful manner. Remember, this is a company full of living and breathing human beings. Trying to justify “who is to blame” and pointing fingers is just childish. Guess what? No one is to blame, it was a company-wide decision that they all made and spent months upon months to create.

Yes, it does suck to see content that was free for years be moved to a paywall, but remember they are independent artists that have to pay employees, freelancers, locations, and themselves! Have we not been advocating for fair pay among creative individuals when it comes to WGA/SAG-AFTRA strikes and then AI art taking jobs away from artists? If this is what the company needs to do to survive while not sacrificing the high-quality content they make for us, then we should give it a shot! Plus with the current discount available, the subscription is not that pricey for the amount of shows they produce! Literally for January and a bit of February, they were uploading 2 podcasts and 2 separate shows… that’s a lot of content! If you have never sat down to produce, direct, write, perform, edit, and all other aspects it takes to make a fine-polished YouTube video, it takes a lot of work!

To add to this, Watcher already makes content that far expands past what is recognized as normal for YouTube. They build individual sets for each show that is produced, and they travel all over the place for Ghost Files and soon-to-be Travel Season. It costs money to produce content and YouTube?- It’s just not how it was years and years ago. Views on long-form content have been dipping and with the over-saturation of sponsorships, I am assuming they are not making enough profit to sustain the business on the current platform. Also, monetization on YouTube has been a killer for many channels because of vulgar language issues and just being demonetized for no rhyme or reason. By moving over to a streaming platform of their own they can continue to create what they want to create, and make it without any restrictions or rules holding them back. Too pricey? Find some friends who also like the content and split the pricing evenly. Only want to watch certain shows? Then make a monthly subscription for the time that show airs. There are many solutions that you guys see as a huge problem, and don’t get me wrong I have my concerns. I shared those concerns briefly in my theory post about them still being a young channel, but I’m also unaware of the actual analytics and revenue that is currently being brought in currently to the company from YouTube alone. 

It’s a huge step that has garnered negative feedback from those spreading hateful messages about the company and to other individuals for supporting the boys *cough cough I see your messages and comments cough cough* is truly uncalled for. I will be taking a bit of a break from my socials as I wait out the storm though if I have the energy, I might stream on Twitch again and talk through this with y’all if you can sit down and have a civil discussion. As for now, it’s your choice if you continue to support. My goal is to continue to make funny little memes, and if I am allowed to I will be working on a crack video pt.2 after Travel Season premieres. Remember to be kind and to put yourselves in their shows. Just the boys even though they are receiving the brunt of the hate, but for everyone at the company.

Your local memester watcherina - Fritz.

[lunar-years]

I LOVE thinking about royjamiekeeley's future home together and how all three of their styles would come together to create a living space that is so very them :)

I think it's especially important to Jamie because he's never really had a space of his own as an adult that he's actually considered home before. Like, he bought his place in Manchester when he was just coming into having actual money--and a lot of it--for the first time, and he was spending it not just on himself but also on updates and renovations to Mummy's place and eventually on a home for his dad as well. So for himself he bought his car and a house but then didn't quite know what to do with the rest of it. As a result, for years his home there is just sort of an un-curated mix of the random shit he bought on a whim because he suddenly had the money to do so. Like the painting he walks past everyday and thinks "do I actually like that?" and the foosball table and the garish furniture he picked out because it looked dead cool in the showroom but really doesn't go together at all in his house.

Then when he moved to Richmond, he didn't really want to be there anyway, did he, so it was easier to just hire someone to furnish it for him. And he was on the outs with mummy, so even having family photos up made him feel weird and sad, and there were a couple of things he slowly acquired (like his balloon dog and his lavish headboard), mostly when shopping with Keeley, that he does love, but the house itself is sleek and modern and sterile, and it never really feels quite like his. By the time he comes to think of Richmond as home, he's spending most of his time at Keeley's or Roy's anyway, so he never bothers to make it more his own.

Then they all buy a house together, and Jamie is thrilled but also so overwhelmed, because he's never felt like he had such free reign before in a space since he was hanging up those posters in his childhood bedroom. Thus: his grand idea, presented with great enthusiasm and pride, of framing up his and Roy's England kits side by side in the living room, to which Keeley says absolutely fucking not. But then Keeley brings in her pink chandelier and her neon wall art from the moving van and Roy says absolutely fucking not, and Roy tries to hog all the shelves in the bookcase for his mystery/thriller paperbacks, to which Jamie and Keeley are both like, absolutely fucking not!! Eventually the living room (where they spend most of their time) becomes the perfect mashup of all of them. The furniture is neutral enough for Roy, but accessorized with a ton of throw pillows courtesy of Keeley, and one of Jamie's transformers is next to Roy's books and Keeley's knick-knacks on the shelves, and they've got a gallery wall with photos and framed bits and pieces of all of them.

They have a two-floor home but the main bedroom is of course on the first floor (Roy can't do stairs), and a giant ensuite with a spa tub for Keeley (and for Roy when his knee is acting up), and a shower big enough so that Jamie rarely has to shower alone, if he doesn't want to. Then there's Roy's office and a media room for all of Jamie's gaming consoles and for the boys to watch match tapes that's filled up with all of their medals/trophies/awards. Keeley rarely goes in there, but when she wins like, Boss Ass Bitch of the Year or something (a real award TO ME), Roy and Jamie insist it goes up right alongside their premier league medals, and ceremoniously place it there in a way that has Keeley giggling kicking her feet in love with them <3

Roy's more set in his ways from years of living on his own, so Jamie and Keeley distract him as they decorate the rest of the house by giving him full control of the kitchen, because he's the one who's going to be using it most often, anyway. He gets all the appliances and everything configured, top-grade, with Simon's helpful input. And most importantly, he also makes sure there's a big island he can work at with stools for Keeley and Jamie to sit in and sip their wine prettily or "help" him by aimlessly chopping vegetables as he goes about all the hard work of actually cooking their meals. This is secretly his favorite part of being in the kitchen. He makes sure the stools are very comfortable for them. Also, the fridge is always covered in Phoebe's report cards and drawings and homemade cards :)

Then the upstairs is used for the guest bedrooms for when any of their parents or friends come to stay, plus Phoebe's bedroom/bathroom and Keeley & Jamie's overflow closet and Keeley's home office (she likes to be a floor above to help drown out the noise and help her stay focused when Roy and Jamie are home and screaming at the television about sports on the main floor, or else shagging each other senseless in their bedroom while Keeley still has emails to attend to, thank you.)

And there's a half pitch in the backyard because of course there is, when you're that rich you've got to have a least one thing that lavish. And a garden that Roy really takes to tending, surprisingly, and loungers for Keeley and Jamie to suntan as Roy hovers over them menacingly with a bottle of sun cream.

Ultimately it's theirs and it's home and it's wonderful and even though they all keep a hold of their former houses for financial and media purposes, they rarely ever go back to them. ❤️

[morganbritton132]

Idk why this popped into my brain but it occurred to me that Eddie was probably on those celebrity editions of game shows. Celebrity Jeopardy, Celebrity Who Wants to be a Millionaire, etc…

And it just made me laugh so hard. The idea of Eddie Munson with Regis. Of calling Steve as a phone a friend for a basketball question and Steve being like Eddie I don’t know everything about basketball. But the answer is Larry Bird.

Just TikTok finding clips of Eddie yelling “suck it, Dan Cortese!” after obliterating them all at final jeopardy.

This fills me with so much joy! I love it so much.

Eddie does not go on Celebrity Who Wants to be a Millionaire by choice. He pissed off the band’s manager just enough that they signed him up for it without his knowledge, and he’s not doing it. He got the letter in the mail and it’s not happening.

Eddie ‘Six Years of High School’ Munson is not going on national television and making himself look like an idiot when he doesn’t even get to be in on the joke. No way.

“Dick move, man,” Gareth shrugs after Eddie put his foot down. “Even if you fuck the first question, they’re still gonna donate to your charity of choice. And like, maybe this is just the amount of money needed to cure cancer. Or epilepsy.”

“…You fucking suck, Gareth.”

“Yeah, I do!”

Eddie begrudgingly shows up and goes through the whole rigmarole to get mic’ed up, just ready to make a fool out of himself and call it a day. It turns out that he knows a lot more than he thought he did because he breezes through the first round of questions.

He knows enough about history, music, and the arts just from planning his D&D campaigns and reading about things he likes. He’s surprised by how much surface knowledge he’s gained from listening to the kids logic their way through their science and math homework, but sports are a bust.

He gets lucky on a few questions, but ends up using his Phone a Friend to call his partner, Steve. Steve and Eddie spend the first fifteen seconds arguing about how Eddie shouldn’t have wasted his phone a friend on Steve because he doesn’t know anything. And then once he hears the question, he’s like, “Larry Bird” and hangs up.

Eddie doesn’t win a millionaire dollars for his charity, but he wins quite a bit.

Afterwards when he’s still so hyped up about not being dumb, Steve’s just like ???? “Ed, you were never dumb. You just had trouble taking tests and none of your teachers accommodated your very obvious ADHD. You’ve always been brilliant.”

“Now everybody knows it.”

“Yeah,” Steve agreed. “Yeah, they do.”

Eddie signs up for Celebrity Jeopardy himself.

One of the first things that Steve and Wayne bonded over was a love for Jeopardy. Wayne has watched Jeopardy before he left for work for as long as Eddie has known him, and Steve was more than happy to sit with him when it was on. They both continued to watched even after Steve and Eddie moved to Chicago and sometimes they’d call each other if Final Jeopardy was “crazy.”

The band wasn’t touring as much as they used too and they’re all pretty much working on their own projects at this point. Steve’s finishing up his master’s degree while teaching full time and doesn’t really have a lot of time for him. Eddie is in between projects and creatively tapped out, and worst of all, he’s bored.

So when his manager passively mentions Celebrity Jeopardy, Eddie tells him to sign him up for it. When they accept his application, the only people he tells about it are Dustin and Nancy.

He only tells them because he wants their help studying for it because he wants to win this time. So, they study and it sucks. If Eddie ever sees another world famous Nancy Wheeler flashcard again, he’ll tear off his arm. He hates every second of their study sessions.

Eddie makes it through the quarterfinals and then he makes it to the semi-finals (knocking out Dan Cortese). He doesn’t win the tournament because he bets big on a Daily Double and gets it wrong, but he’s fairly close to the lead after Final Jeopardy.

It’s not bad for a guy that failed his senior year three times.

The fun part comes when it airs. He painstakingly sets up their camcorder so Steve won’t notice it before the show starts. The video he gets has a good five minutes of Steve fussing with a blanket up until they say ‘Eddie Munson.’

Steve looks up and then looks at Eddie, and then back at the tv, “Wha- what? Is that – that’s you! You’re on Jeopardy! Eddie, you’re on – oh my god, we’ve got to call Wayne.”

Before Steve can even do that, their phone is ringing and Steve answers it like, “HE DIDN��T TELL ME EITHER!” while Eddie is laughing his ass off.

When Eddie posts a TikTok about it like, ‘LOL remember when I was on Jeopardy?’ it includes this moment. It also includes footage from the semi-finales where Steve is just pacing the living room and repeatedly telling Eddie to just tell him if he won or not. Steve cheers like he’s at a football game when Eddie wins.

It’s just as tense when the video cuts to Steve watching the finale. Steve knows the answer to the daily double that Eddie gets wrong and is like, ‘This is why they should do Jeopardy Couples, we’d win so hard.’ Steve’s not even disappointed that Eddie lost, keeping the same enthusiasm through the show and then is like, “I’m married to a Jeopardy contestant. I’m so telling Janet about this at the staff meeting tomorrow.” 

[slut4sohee]

summer bummer

pairing. instructee!shotaro x instructor!reader

wc. 706

about. few surfing lessons (and a certain surfing instructor) were enough to make shotaro wish for a never ending summer.

an: ik summer’s basically over but who really gaf

shotaro thought this vacation would be relaxing and ease his mind of the previous and upcoming school years, but so far it was doing quite the opposite.

after a stressful -- but (barely) successful -- year of art school, his friends thought it'd be a great idea to vacation at the beach. he thought so too until everything started going wrong.

first they missed their train and had to book new tickets, then the airbnb they booked turned out to be double booked and people were already staying there (thankfully they got refunded) so they had to find somewhere else to stay, then seunghan broke two of his fingers, sungchan was turning into a bit of an alcoholic (he had a stressful year too) and shotaro was the one that had to care of him every time.

sungchan also signed him and shotaro for surfing lessons. surfing lessons shotaro frankly did not want to do, but if it meant sungchan would be happy then so be it.

but the day the lessons started, sungchan had a bad hangover. shotaro suggested that he should just stay at the house because what was the point in going if sungchan wasn’t? but sungchan said it'd be rude if no one showed up and the money was already spent so shotaro should just go, then he promised to be sober and in good condition for the other sessions.

reluctantly, shotaro went to the first session by himself not knowing that these lessons would be the thing that made him want the trip to last forever.

the first session was such a surprise; he thought the instructor would be some older surfer bro, but it was you. you were a great instructor and an even better person. you had an energy of encouragement that gave others the confidence to face their fears of failure and take on the waves and even other things in life.

even though the lessons were for a few days, they were the catalyst of his enjoyment of the vacation. when sungchan felt normal enough to join, shotaro selfishly wanted it to be just you and him.

on the last day of the lessons, you gave him and sungchan their certificates for completing the lessons and took their picture to add to your board of past students.

shotaro will admit that he was feeling down since it could be the last time he saw you. but maybe all the 7's he had started seeing hadn't been a coincidence, and maybe the universe heard him, or maybe the stars aligned for him because you pulled him aside and invited him to put what he learned from you to the test. you invited him to surf with you later.

for the rest of his days there, he would join you almost every evening. you two would spend that time getting to know each other, watching the sun set, and trying to catch waves (you were way better at it than him for obvious reasons, like way better).

you both avoided talking about his inevitable departure that was quickly approaching.

the evening before shotaro left, the two walked along the shore feeling the breeze and the spray of the sea. neither of you got in the water that night, wanting to spend every last second with each other.

“you're leaving tomorrow.” you said after a moment of silence.

“yeah.” he responded quietly and with resistance, almost as if the day would come sooner if he acknowledged it.

“what a bummer,” you pouted, “you're the coolest person i met this summer. i really enjoyed getting to know you.”

a shy smile appeared on his face. “i enjoyed getting know you too. i think you're way cooler than me, though, you made my summer so much more interesting.”

you reached into the pocket of your linen shorts to pull out a shell necklace. “something to remember the summer by.”

he gently took it in his hands. it was a black braided string with a seashell pendant and a few accent beads and cowry shells. “did you make this?”

you nodded.

“thank you, i'll never lose it,” you swear you saw the stars reflected in his eyes.

“if that happens, i’ll be here.”

a/n: a lil incomplete but i hope you enjoyed!! feedback is always appreciated <3

[illarian-rambling]

So this has been looooong overdue...

Character Introduction: Duchon Avymere Kalaphon Spearsong III, Heir to the Icy City

“So.” The Duchon pulled a silken rope and a blue-clad figure brought out a tea set almost faster than Astra could blink. “You seem a curious sort. My last tailor was an old, stodgy fellow—I always worried one needle prick would be the end of him.” They smiled mischievously. “Tell me about yourself, Ms. DuClaire, and I’ll tell you a bit about myself. Nothing you don’t want to, of course. Just anything you find fun or worth sharing.”

Somewhat surprisingly, the Duchon began to prepare two cups of tea with their own hands. Silently, they tapped the bowl of sugar. Astra held up three fingers.

Was this some sort of ploy? Astra honestly couldn’t tell what the motive would be, much less if there was one. The Duchon seemed almost child-like, humming softly to themself as they stirred their servant’s tea.

Alright, doll, I’ll play your game. But I ain’t gonna— Astra took a sip of the tea they passed her and almost fainted for how tantalizing the flavor was. Ok, maybe I’ll like it.

“Well, like my papers said, I’m from the Republic.” She cleared her throat, blushing a bit under the handsome elf’s undivided attention. “What they didn’t say is I’m most a’ the way to a book mage, I just never ended up gettin’ my license. Your, uh, your grace, I mean.”

“What a remarkable path!” The Duchon blinked eyes as bright as a bird’s. “As a note, when we’re in my personal quarters, you may call me Avymere, if you wish. I know you don’t have our slew of titles down in the Republic. Trust me, even I find it all confusing sometimes!”

They laughed, a light, airy sound that reminded the witch of wind chimes. She found herself relaxing into the chair, smiling as she sipped her tea, even as her mind whirled. There was just something about this person! It snagged at Astra’s core like a loose tooth. Maybe it was just her general distrust of fine folk, but no one was that chipper—not at eight in the morning with a total stranger.

“Why did you decide to quit before taking your licensing exam?” Avymere asked, they themself also sitting in a more relaxed manner now. “I understand it’s a very difficult exam, though I never had a head for runes. My father tried, by the gods he did, but nothing ever stuck.” They shrugged in a ditzy way. “I suspect he was always a little disappointed I never took to it.”

“The exam was more money than I was willin’ to spend,” Astra answered, skirting the truth by an inch or two. “’Sides, I don’t need it for what I’m doin’ now.”

Was it possible that the Duchon was just… dumb? Well-meaning, but it was just so out there that a noble would be asking such intrusive questions to the help. If a library worth of runic knowledge hadn’t been on the line and she wouldn’t’ve been hung for saying so, Astra would’ve told anyone else to stuff it. Her reasons for not having her license were no one’s business but her own! Yet, Astra couldn’t honestly look into those starling eyes and work up any true indignation. They were just so genuine.

“I heard a description of the skirt you made,” Avymere continued with a conspiratory grin. “I think that’s a beautiful marriage of the arts—runes and fashion. Though I guess runes aren’t technically art, are they? They sure are pretty though. Do you have a favorite rune? One you think is the prettiest?”

Another… well it wasn’t really a nosy question, just a weird one. Astra decided to answer honestly. “On a visual level? Fire,” she said. “It’s one a’ the simplest shapes, yet elegant too. ’Course I don’t use it much in this line a’ work.”

“Oh, I suppose that’s a shame. But you wouldn’t want clothes catching on fire, now would you?” Avymere laughed again, drawing an unexpected chuckle from Astra’s lips as the elf’s mirth spread through the air.

“So, you had another line of work, then? Not magic if you don’t have your license, I’m guessing, and not clothes because that’s what you’re doing now. Were you”—Their eyes flicked to her hands, to the slight stiffness with which she held her left arm—“a farmer? Oh, or a fighter! You’ve got a tough look about you. Is it true all people in the Republic can swing a sword?”

“I, uh….” Astra paused, then really considered what she was about to say. Potion hunting wasn’t too far from what she’d been doing for six years. That was probably exactly the sort of answer Avymere wanted though.

Astra considered further what she’d said already to this chatterbox elf, what she’d given up as answers to those silly questions. Avymere knew she was an unlicensed mage with the skill to pass the exam, just not the funds. They knew she had a proclivity for fire. They knew she had the hands of a physical laborer and a previously injured arm. In short, they’d picked up on everything that might make her dangerous in less time than it’d taken the witch to finish her tea.

She grinned. So this was a game then. Just one she’d never seen played before.

And by extension, one she herself didn’t know how to play.

“I did freelance work for a few years on the road.” Astra shrugged, leaning back in her chair. “I assume you’re a spy a’ some sort.”

“That—” Avymere coughed, choking briefly on their tea. Astra’s grin grew even wider. They caught the expression and a cautious smile began to creep onto their own features. “And why ever would you ask that?”

“Just the questions ya asked, is all. That and I ain’t too trustin’ a’ nobility—no offense. It all lined up too neatly, ya didn’t have any questions in there that were pure nonsense.”

Avymere’s smile grew more coy. “I’ll take that into account, Ms. DuClaire. Your insight is an honest pleasure. And I take no offense, I probably trust my peers less than you do. Now, shall we dispense with the interview and start our day?”

Full backstory is under the cut ;)

Avymere is the only child of Archduke Eluan Spearsong and Duchess Amarell Spearsong. The Spearsongs have long ruled the city of Salis, within the icy elven country of Skysheer, and are counted as the second most important family in the nation. In addition, they are known to possess a powerful inherited sorcery, augmented by their study of runes. Eluan Spearsong has been long considered one of Illaros's most powerful mages, while his wife steered the city's politics like a well-broken mare. Avymere should've been born with everything, and in a way, they were. In others, they were not so lucky.

For starters, Avymere was born without a trace of sorcery - the first Spearsong in a millenia to be fully mundane. Secondly, though their father tried and they studied and struggled, book magic never clicked for them either. They exist as a break in the grand chain of Spearsong arcane tradition. Thirdly, when they were no more than eight, their mother was assassinated by an unknown faction. The culprit was never found.

This isn't to say Avymere's childhood was all dark. Apart from his sadness in his child not being able to practice magic, Eluan was a model father. He encouraged Avymere's passion for martial arts, even though such a thing is considered unseemly for Skysheerian nobility. He instilled them with strong ideals of stewardship and leading as an act of service, and always made time to care for them while running the city. It's no surprise then, that as an adult, Avymere is doggedly loyal to the Archduke.

Apart from their talent in martial arts, Avymere also has a skill for spycraft. This was recognized early on by the Archduke's spymaster, and since there are simply some places a Duchon can go that a spy disguised as a servant can't, they were trained extensively from the moment they hit adulthood. For their part, Avymere is happy to serve as a spy. It is their duty to the nation and they enjoy the challenge.

This spycraft has had a significant impact on their personality. Though they've never reflected on such a thing, Avymere would hardly recognize their true personality. They play the charming ditz in front of the court, the benevolent library builder in front of the citizens, and the terrifying specter for any rebels or political enemies who manage to get close. The one thing that remains consistent among their many faces is a sense of unyielding duty. They don't see themself as a person, but rather as a tool to protect Skysheer. It's not really an unhappy experience - more that they don't know what it means to be truly happy. The only time they take for themself is when they practice martial arts, often sparring with their bodyguards in the palace garden. They are impeccably polite, deeply cunning, and completely unaware of their worth as a person. They don't wear the crown - it wears them.

Can you see why they're one bad adventure away from a severe breakdown?

Anyways, here are some fun facts!

Avymere is 153 years old. Given that elves in my setting can live to around 500, they're the equivalent of mid to late twenties.

The martial art they practice is called Talmel Valkys, and it's a holdover from before the Skysheerian elves split from their more militant Nabafyrian cousins. Its closest real-world equivalent would be muay thai mixed with a little aikkido.

They, like everyone in their family, are very nearsighted.

Given how their mother was assassinated, Avymere is extraordinarily paranoid about assassins targeting their father.

Their gender would be defined as fe'penche specifically. Elven culture recognizes six genders, and fe'penche roughly translates to nonbianary but female leaning. This means Avymere dresses more femme and engages in traditionally feminine work (politics). In the human tongue, they stick to they/them.

They can play the pianoforte with a very medium level of skill.

That's not quite a wrap, as I have one more present for you. A proper portrait! (Finally!)

Though they are lily white to human eyes, Avymere is considered quite tan for a Skysheerian. Their hair is also a stark white typical of their people, while their eyes are a pale gray.

Thanks for reading if you made it this far! Let me know if you have any questions and you have yourself a bitchin day <3

@amandacanwrite @elsie-writes @riveriafalll @kosmic-kore @kaylinalexanderbooks

@bard-coded @carrotsinnovember @patternwelded-quill @somethingclevermahogony @whatwewrotepodcast

@the-angriest-author @mk-writes-stuff @frostedlemonwriter @vyuntspakhkite-l-darling @watermeezer

@leahnardo-da-veggie @mr-orion @televisionjester @the-ellia-west @ray-writes-n-shit

@evilgabe29 @trippingpossum @fortunatetragedy @halfbakedspuds

[hauntingofhouses]

hear me out. delusional post-canon taimizu idea. after mizu gets her revenge and helps akemi secure her position in the palace mizu retires and uses her mercenary money and whatever payment akemi gives her as thanks to buy a secluded land and house, maybe in the mountains or something. and ringo is there too because of course!

and every day she forges weapons and tends to her little bit of land feeding chickens and raising horses and training and meditating. every so often they get visitors who come to seek training from mizu and/or a sword made by her hand. and i like to imagine that mizu's presentation is still fluid so she'll dress feminine and let her hair down at night or on days when no visitors are around, and dress masculine and presenting as a man when accepting visitors. all in all it's peaceful and it's familiar and she is content with her level of freedom and this restricted contact with the outside world

and in this scenario (since it's taking place in my own imagined post-canon), mizu has already duelled taigen and there was the whole gender reveal too, and there may or may not have been drama but ultimately taigen was still her ally and helped in her revenge quest. but because taigen is taigen and all about following societal rules, he never quite knew how to navigate his feelings for mizu (who goes against ALL societal expectations) and so he never quite acted on his feelings and mizu with her deep self-hatred just figured that he didn't like her that way. so when she got the chance after finishing her quest and everything, she just left him a farewell note before cutting off all ties.

but of course taigen is a whipped mf who can NOT just let mizu go so of course he spends like. years. searching for mizu and pestering akemi for information before he FINALLY finds the abode of the legendary blue-eyed swordsman

so when he arrives mizu's life is now up-turned. reluctantly she greets him as her visitor because he's "travelled very far and he's very hungry" so as courtesy she has to feed him and besides it's late and it's snowy and ringo insists that taigen stay so reluctantly she lets him stay over.

so taigen stays. and mizu tells herself it's JUST for ringo's sake. cuz ringo is obviously happy to have an old friend over (and mizu feels a little guilty here because she feels that by staying by her side he's forced to also adhere to her reclusive lifestyle despite enjoying friendships and fun). and she watches ringo and taigen having fun sparring from afar before taigen notices her watching and throws her a sword and challenges her to a spar.

and then as mizu starts fighting taigen again something lights up in her again and like man she has forgotten what this felt like. because sure she practices every day and she always spars with her students and with ringo, but this is taigen. he challenges her and goads her on and with them fighting is a dance, a play, an art.

and of course it ends with mizu handing taigen's ass to him and they're both flushed and breathless and they can't tear their eyes away from each other and there's all this TENSION and the only thing that forces them to both remember their surroundings is ringo cheering mizu on from the sidelines, thus interrupting their prolonged erotic eye contact

and before she realises it taigen is staying another night, and another. and her traitorous heart likes him around, enjoys his company, their banter, their playful duels.

and i like to imagine taigen tricking her to spar only for it to devolve into tickle fight because taigen is a childish brat looking for any way to one-up her, but also he wants her to loosen up a little and this definitely takes off guard and then they're both giggling and rolling around like kids until they get interrupted again by like some other visitor who's come to request a sword from her

SO ANYWAY fast forward and eventually taigen moves in and now when visitors come over they get training from mizu AND taigen and everyone basically knows theyre fucking but since theyre two men nobody bats an eye the end send post

EDIT: I have written a fic out of this premise which you can read here :)

[stelladess]

So instead of doing something fun I wake up to finding out more bs from Yostar Korea, I will explain below but first, reminder, please write in about this to Yostar and Hypergryph (again, unlikely HG had anything to do with this but their silence on this matter is still extremely disappointing) info@yo-star.com info@yo-star.com press@yo-star.com press@yo-star.com cs@hypergryph.com cs@hypergryph.com

They did not take down an artist´s work this time for extremely flimsy reasons and call not hating women a divisive position that divides people and then go on about how Arknights strives to be apolitical. Or have the social media manager liking on the official AK Korea twitter account art of Jessica being tortured. This time it was a bit less severe, they censored Jessica the Liberated in game artwork.

For those unaware there is a conspiracy theory in South Korea about there being a wide spread thing of femenists in video games hiding hand signs that imply small dicks in gacha games specificallly to harass men. Because of this many gacha games will censor any hand gesture that can even remotely resemble such when publishing in Korea, this is very common and done by many gacha games. Which like, is part of the problem. They are catering to sexist pigs which then helps cultivate an audience of said sexist pigs who they need to keep placating. And quite frankly, the people who make these games, artists, writers, etc. Deserve to be treated better then to have their work censored or removed to appease sexists. Because I love Arknights and it means a lot to me it really hurts seeing the people making it have their work be disrespected like this by the publisher, and it hurts seeing the studio being silent about this. I strongly suggest completely boycotting originite packs and similar things, make clear on any survey for the game that actions such as this make you NOT want to spend money on the game, WRITE to both Yostar and Hypergryph and explain you do NOT want to support a game that bends over to the whims of sexist pigs. I want to be able to say that I did *something* about this. Arknights is the gacha game I have spent the most money in, but I have a hard time justifying doing so anymore if this situation continues, which I am going to tell Yostar and Hypergryph, and I think anyone reading this should do so as well, also I think you should tell other people to tell them that as well. Yostar needs to issue a full apology and put back all the artworks they took down or censored to the way they were, and unless that or HG cutting off their partnership with Yostar happens, or at the very least strongly condemns these actions, I am gonna stop buying any more packs for the game. I do however suggest you go support artists harmed by such practices, im sure other people know of more but the only one I know of from the top of my head is here: https://www.pixiv.net/en/users/16826909 For Arknights ones, for other games i also know at least of Vellmori for Limbus Company who was also targetted by incels. EDIT: had written poll instead of survey by accident

EDIT: Previously suggested boycotting Jessica banner, this was a pretty silly suggestion made in anger when not thinking clearly. The important thing is to refuse to give any MONEY. Pull all you want. Just dont spend ANY money.

[crazycookiemaniac]

hi can u give me dummy steps on how commissions work? What app do u use??? How does it link to ur bank account?? Can ppl see ur real identity when they pay?? What r the usual prices etc.... im in a bit of a bind, financially and i have quite a lot of time on my hands during my job where i can write i feel and i want to start commissions. Im technologically (and more importantly, w my bank) very incompetent iG pls help thamk you. Love ur work btw!!:)

Hello there! Let me try to help you:

First, make sure your clients can easily get in touch with you. For example, try to have the same username in different social media and allow your clients to request via any of them. In my case, I'm "crazycookiemaniac" on Tumblr, Twitter/X, Instagram, Gmail and I even made a website that's offline at the moment (though the website is completely optional. You don't need to go that far). You can also create a linktree and copy&paste the link on your social media bios so people know where to find you!

Second step is, decide how much you want to be paid for your work. This step is pretty hard because it depends on so many things, like how much time you spend working on your writing, what you're willing to write and what you aren't, how much in a bind you are and how much you actually want to earn with commissions.

Using my own case as an example, when I first started working on art commissions 12~13 years ago, my prices varied between $2 and $7 USD. Nowadays, I charge $70~$130 (per character, and charge almost the same prices for additional characters). Even now, I'm not sure if I'm charging correctly for my work, but I still get clients so I'm assuming it's fair enough. I also offer discounts every so often when I'm in need to earn more quickly. A tip I can give you is to look for how much people who offer similar work as you are charging and create your price sheet according to theirs. Reminder that you are allowed to charge extra if the requests are too difficult or something you're not used to doing often (NSFW, for example).

Third: How to accept payments. I personally use PayPal Business, because in this case people will only see my business name (CrazyCookieManiac Productions) instead of my real name. And one VERY important note: always send invoices. DO NOT allow people to transfer you money of their own accord, because if you do you won't be eligible for the seller protection and you might get scammed (happened to me a couple times). If you don't want to send invoices, you can open a ko-fi, link it to your paypal and allow people to pay you through there (it'll be like they're paying for a service, so you'll be eligible for seller protection).

Other important notes:

-> Make sure you're paid at least 50% before starting to work on a commission, especially if it's a new client. It reduces the chances of you being scammed.

-> Always ask your client if they have a deadline, or let them know in how long they can expect you to finish or deliver part of what they paid for. Communication is key for a successful commission!

-> Set an amount of times your client can ask for free edits. I'm saying this because it may happen that one of them asks for way too many edits and you might have other commissions to work on. Time is money!

-> If you can, come up with a FAQ (even if no one asked you anything lol). Write stuff about deadlines, permissions to use your work, what you're comfortable with working and not, if you can make exceptions or not, stuff like that!

And I think that's it? I'm sorry if this isn't perfect, I just wrote down how I usually deal with stuff. If there's anything else I can help you with, let me know!

[zahri-melitor]

Newish Comics:

Batman: the Brave and the Bold #13: God I so want to enjoy the Nightwing and Deadman story (because Dick and Boston hanging out, given their shared backgrounds, is exactly my jam) but unfortunately this is written by Tim Seeley and while there's stuff in it I quite enjoyed it still had the problem where it was full of Seeleyness. You don't need to repeat that Dick is a carny, a traveller, a circus kid so many times, Seeley. We got your point. (Also why are you travelling on a goods train, presumably without paying for the tickets? Is this inherently important to either of you? Dick has a fortune right now and Boston's fine with spending other people's money especially if they're rich or crooks).

The Booster Gold and the Jurassic League story hmmm feels too invested in how outsiders see Booster, rather than Michael's personal competence. Not that that's unusual for a Booster story but it's disappointing. Mark Russell, given your other work I was expecting a slightly defter hand with this, but it's only the opening part of the story.

The Artemis story remains so good. That's all I have to say.

The Bruce and Guy Gardner story has interestingly stylised art (I can tell some people are going to instantly hate it) but I had to laugh at the goofy ears Bruce has on his helmet. Commitment to the aesthetic! (Also lol Roswell and Grey Aliens)

The Perpwalk: oh look it's commentary on killing Joker and why that's bad. It feels very pop psychology.

The Flash #9: I mostly loved this. Wally's continuing to lose it, Jai's still getting the main plot out of twins (which is a nice change as the balance was definitely over on Irey's side during Adams), Barry is also having a breakdown (but different), Hartley gets a quality win, and we are confirmed to be on round two of time travelling Wade (seriously Wade has appeared on more pages, aged up, than he has as a baby so far).

The Wally and Dick stuff is just really...you know how Wally's connection to the Titans saved Donna? And the Titans connection to Wally saved him? And now Dick's helping anchor Wally even as he's trying to drop all of his connections? Ugh it's so good, Dick Grayson will not give up on his best friends.

The bit which really made me sigh was that finally, we got confirmation that Linda has post-partum depression (which has been obvious the last 9 issues), and...it's been aggravated by the Rogues. Deliberately. Ugh. Which is exhausting, but the panels suggested that it was actually based on Linda having existing problems (which made perfect sense, given that among other things, she'd just been sharing the Speed Force with Wade until she lost the connection when he was born. Of COURSE her neurotransmitters and hormones were even more out of whack than your average person after giving birth). But then when Hartley removed the influence from Linda, she suddenly perks up in an 'all fixed!' manner, as if that was all that was needed. And I really really hope it wasn't that simple. (Like, even if you give me a panel when this storyline ends that has Linda telling Wally she's seeing a counselor).

I would, actually, like the comic to have a little bit of a discussion of PPD, rather than just fix it magically via supervillain nonsense ending. Because Linda has lots of basis to have developed it. And she's just had to hand over her baby to stay safe in another crisis situation. It just makes so much sense and could lead to some more interesting storytelling and I just want it to be acknowledged as a real issue, not 'waves wand, all better'.

Green Arrow #12: the hugs edition.

Look. For a story arc that's premise was 'let's get all of the associated Arrow characters out of the various separate ruts (or editorial jail) that they've been in and reunite them on page', with a framing story for why everyone's wheels have been spinning and going nowhere for anywhere up to the last 14 years? It achieved that. It also got almost everyone into a costume that didn't make my eyes burn and am happy having as their default design for a while (Cissie I'm so sorry, yours is not great).

It set everything up for a continuing run and I'm glad that it has been signed off as a continuing and due to Williamson being heavy handed with allowing Waller nonsense in this plot it's going to run through Absolute Power and presumably be able to pick up with some actual ordinary Green Arrow plots.

I just want Williamson to pick up the pace a bit, and give us some one shots and three issue stories once we get back from Absolute Power to justify pulling this huge cast together by using them as more than set dressing for Ollie having a midlife crisis realisation.

The Warlord #54: Travis has a minor breakdown because Ashiya is using the form of his dead wife, Rachel, then realises he's being duped.

Shakira pushes Tara out of danger, proving that despite everything, they don't actually hate each other.

Jennifer is now a super powerful witch who has outpaced Ashiya's teachings and they have a cool sorcery battle:

And we finish off with Travis heading back to Shamballah with Tara and Jennifer staying in the castle to learn more magic (after defeating Ashiya).

[drawnaghht]

btw, if you liked my post analysing just the magnet "holsters" in Samurai Rabbit: The Usagi Chronicles, I'm eventually gonna post more outfit description/analysis! just cuz I've already been writing some longer descriptions for a while now - that's one of my fave things to research and write about, since it can be good art reference for my own drawings, and especially since I can go through the episodes looking for anything new to write down or connect :)

Also, thank you so much for the replies on my post! LOVING the reactions I'm seeing on it, I didn't expect this to do numbers at all but I'm pleased people enjoy reading me ramble about details in a show I like haha xD I don't usually get replies on my other fandom posts, so this is very surprising, even here. I'm touched!

Replies below! :)

@ranarenee - I already replied to you on the original post, but I genuinely just wanted to feature this comment cuz I'm glad ppl are having a positive reaction to this post xD

I also think it was probably a bit easier to animate them! in addition, because it provides an interesting change of technology in the world of Usagi Chronicles, it means that it might have become more interesting to design this hypothetical descendant-world. I'm sure they might have also just thought it was an interesting and unique element of what they were making, but from Art Director Khang Le and Stan Sakai's CBCC interview, and the SDCC@ Home 2021 panel I remember it was mentioned a few times how many clever things they found to make the production spending smaller on the more trivial things.... so the magnetic holsters feels like a thing that might have hit many birds with one stone, so-to-speak. You have the easier drawing of boards and maybe a few things made lighter for the 3D crew (no extra models or rope to animate, for example), but you also have a pleasing design element to give the main fighters in the cast - Usagi, Gen and Chizu - as well as other characters who would happen to wear weapons on their person aside from Karasu-Tengu. Like mentioned in the post, Kitsune is an interesting exception here, because of course, she's based on UY Kitsune who is also not a direct fighter or anything, but also, the world of SR appears to be at peace of some sort, and it's mentioned several times that there were wars at some point, so not many ordinary citizens of Neo would even have these unless they wanted to use or carry weapons every day. Kitsune wants to blend in with this ordinary citizenry and does so quite well.

I just thought of this today and I guess my post sort of mentioned it, but this existence of the magnets also seems to imply some hierarchy of income or money flow. Kitsune doesn't have any because she doesn't need them and she wouldn't spend money she doesn't have on them anyway. Chizu is Lady Fuwa's favourite student despite how she treats her - and gets the best undercover gear, so like Gen and Usagi, custom magnets. I suspect also that Chizu deliberately somehow got herself assigned to the temple-job (headcanon for now), or perhaps hoped it would be something like that, because she didn't want to get any of the more victim-heavy missions the Neko Ninja do. Gen obviously has spent his own money on the holsters and they are there out of pure practicality - can't be a bounty-hunter without wepons, can you? So the magnets seem more like they're ordinary but custom for the outfit. And Usagi, as discussed before, possibly inherited them because of the clan mon adorning the inlay of the magnet.

@kinokothere - thank you!! I will probably continue making posts like this even if I have no audience! why I made this blog at first was to collect my SRTUC fandom theories and drawings under a more organized platform compared to twitter, where this specific fan-account started. I now write almost explusively about SRTUC so you can bet I have way fewer notes than if I wrote about shipping or something else popular for example xD

Thank you @0yasumi-0-ya-su-mi! it's a fun little world-building detail that I really liked when I started wtaching and I hope other fans also include it more in their work x3

@umhuhwellthen x3 thank you!! i love seeing reactiong tags like this one!

[feiandart]

Posting 'em here again just to boost a bit my motivation today. I made 'em back in december, one of the first drawing I have ever made for myself only.

Will talk 'bout myself and my past from here, can skip it if you don't want my oversharing shit.

So. I used to work as a commission artist for years (5-6 if I'm not wrong), drew bit of anything you could think of and mainly sticked to NSFW art for most of my, uh, let me call that "carreer" even if it's probably the wrong term to use for it. Well, it paid my bills and rent for years, so we may stick to it anyway.

Thing is, I stopped drawing when I was eighteen. People, family first, always told me talent in art was all, practice would never have made it better and I should have kept it as a hobby rather than something to do as a job. Apart from my closest friends, no one encouraged me to practice and study and put real effort on it. I went to an art-based highschool (only because I couldn't focus on studying any subject, and art school is considered one in which you don't actually study at all here, so my parents thought it better to put me there as I wanted "so you can still graduate"), but I couldn't go ahead with art studies in professional comic schools, academies or any artistic department in university. No support on that front. Something like "be Caravaggio or be nobody" mindset was stuck into my head and I started actually believing that it was true. And since I was, and am not, Caravaggio, then what was the point? So I dropped the pencil and just forgot how to draw a fuckin' line for literal years.

Then I turned 22. I moved to another city for my studies. After completing 'em, my parents said me to come back home and I said no. They stopped paying anything for me since that moment, so I had to make things works on my own. Hopefully my rent was really low, so I could afford it with minimum effort, but had to buy groceries with coupons (not a common thing in Italy) and eat a lot less to make 'em last as much as possible. I found a job in a call-center, I cleaned houses and handed flyiers to people. And that's when I found out I cannot really be in social context for too long.

In the end I burned out, left all jobs and was stuck in bed for a month. I was barely 24, without a job, holding tight the little bit of freedom I ever got. I felt helpless and hopeless. I don't remember if my bestfriend or my housemate, but one of 'em said me to come back at drawing and givin' it a shot. What harm could that do afterall, could have been pocket money for a bit if it couldn't stick to something better.

I started from pencil. Then went to digital in a couple months. I practiced, started quite immediately taking commissions and honest to God I don't have the slightest clue of how someone whould spend money on some shit I drew without basic anathomy knowledge and after that much time without drawing. Still have no idea. So I drew. I made some quick animations, never did much there thought. Grew a little fanbase, went on with it for years. I even moved with my bestfriend, living with her alone for two years, got a cat I love that it's my actually support companion right now.

I felt happy for a bit, I believe. Imposter syndrome is always watching me afterall, that never stopped. It's just like there's another person in the room with me all day, whispering me I should do more 'cause I don't deserve any attention. Ugh.

However. I went on with that until 2023. I had to come back to my parent's house in 2022 and got stuck in here since then. Nightmare years. Still a nightmare period, but I'm managing. Thing is, past year I burned out so much I completed all my left commissions in a rush and actually dropped my tablet for months. I used it as a third screen, took away the pen and the glove and swore I would never ever be back at drawing again. Will not go into details of what triggered that burnout, but you got the point, I didn't want to draw again in my life at that time.

This is pretty much when Good Omens entered the room. It was late September, I saw a lot of videos on tiktok and since I watched S1 years ago, I decided to give it a shot to S2 too. It was an istant hyperfocus. Watched all over for weeks, both in italian, in english, in english with italian subs and english with english subs. Never done anything like that in my life before. By the end of October I came back at writing. So I started to arrange things for Up&Down, my first fic after uhm, like 15 years or so. And it felt so good! I went through 42 days of deep writing, posting a chapter a day just for myself. 'cause I wanted to write something I liked for the sole purpose of liking it. And it felt so liberating!

Then I thought: will this apply to drawing too, maybe?

Answer is YES. It did. I was inspired from the fandom, from MrGhostRat's art and Gleafer's, and started drawing again. I dug into english fanfictions, fandom artists I love, and the list just gets longer day by day. I started writing Sugar, and with it I started drawing illustrations for it.

I went from the image to the left to the one to the right in two months. Guys, I'll repeat it: TWO MONTHS. I never had such a quick improvement in years, practicing every fuckin' day, drawing my hands out of my bloody body. I drew for 5-6 years and never got to improve this much. I did now. And you know why?

'cause I started drawing for myself. I'm doing something I love. And I'm getting better at it.

And you know what? I'm quite angry now. 'cause if I didn't stop years ago, who knows where I could have been now. If I didn't listen to people saying me "be Caravaggio or be nobody", I could have done so much more by now. Maybe I could have been able to draw fuckin' furnitures by now. Maybe I would have started being able to draw the same face two times in a row years ago insted of now.

Maybe I could have been the comic artist I wanted to be. Maybe not the best in the world, but I don't fuckin' care of being the best one, I want to be one I'm proud of. I didn't get the chance 'cause out there is full of people without a dream who's only purpose in life is destroying other people hopes.

And you know what? I'm done with that. I'm done with people saying me I'm not a gifted child. I'm done with people coming at me saying I cannot do shit I love 'cause they have reason to make me do something different. People thinks to know what's good for me but I'm fuckin' 30 and I think I know it pretty well already, thank you very much.

I'm managing how to get hold of my choices and things I love now that I'm an adult, but dear Lord I keep on thinking of my young self and I want to hug that poor thing so much I can't explain. I'd love to say her everything's going to be hard, but good in some way. That things are difficult, but they will change. That people are shit, but she should be strong and fight back. 'cause I did it too late and I regret now, but she deserved better.

You deserves better. And I'm talking to anyone who's reading this. I don't know if you went all the way 'til here, but if you did: don't make my same mistakes. You know better than me. Don't let people spoil the things you love, don't give 'em power to destroy your will and put you in a closet for the time being. You don't deserve that.

Don't miss your chance 'cause people doesn't want to see you happy to be yourself. Don't do that. They don't deserve that power over you.

Love yourself more than I loved myself. I'm starting just now and it's hell. You can do better, I promise.

[companionwolf]

Hello all! I've consolidated the responses so far to my call for 'core selfship / ficto experiences' in relation to my 'having a f/o' solo journaling ttrpg project-- I want to let you all see what's been offered so far and also explain a bit more about what a solo journaling ttrpg is! (:

That explanation and the ideas offered below the cut, because otherwise this is a long post. For anyone this post breaks on, please forgive me.

To start, what's a ttrpg? It's short of table top role-playing game, sometimes called a physical game. If you've ever heard of Dungeons and Dragons (D&D), you know what a table top game is!

For those who haven't, table top games are basically like if you took playing pretend and gave it some rules-- or didn't. The world of TTRPG games is vast and encompasses a wide range of games from super crunchy structured rules with Lots of dice and math to games that are less than one page and super loose and free-form-- some don't even use dice!

The difference here is that most people think you need a group to play tabletop games. And if that's the experience you want, that's true. However, clever gamers have made rules and ways to play games by themselves! Some people emulate the person who runs the game using a generator, while others do games more guided by prompts. This latter one is what I'm doing-- it's called a journaling game.

Journaling games have a basic core of the idea that you / your character journals their experiences as they play (or after, if you don't want to interrupt your flow). Usually the main mechanic is generating prompts off a list using dice or card pulls, but some of these games also include mechanics like ticking boxes off, gathering resources, and making choices.

I'm still trying to figure out what mechanics I want in my game. Obviously there will prompts, but everything else I'm workshopping-- right now I've been gathering data, in the form of looking at other solo games for how they handle their gameplay. Sadly none of the things I've looked at quite fit what I want, but they're useful enough that I've began a design document.

In terms of themes - I want to touch on longing, distance, intimacy (not essentially romantic), and self love/etc. I'm also toying with the concept of a eventual expansion that allows you to play as your F/O, but I need a base game first, so that's just an idea right now.

Anyway, here's what folks have suggested as ideas so far --

- longing yearning etc

- knowing there will never be physicality / hearing their voice / etc

- loving someone you cannot touch/etc

- the self love aspect

- imagines, headcanons, etc

- interacting with f/os source

- community or lack of

- dealing with feeling shame/etc or being picked on/etc for selfshipping

- dealing with jealously/difficulty 'sharing'

- aking things related to your f/o (example: wedding albums)

- easy source eod joy and comfort

- knowing songs and art f/o would like

- finding things that are stressful LESS so because talking about it with f/o would help

- the cute guilty pride of 'I like this character' 'me too I actually self ship with them'

- having a friend who understands when no one else is around (even if they are from media)

- daydreaming

- trying to get yourself to dream about them

- always knowing exactly what to commission someone for

- spending money on f/o related things (merch, other items that remind you of them, comms)

- selfship when the relationship is something you'd never want irl

- using selfship to figure out what you want (in a relationship for example)

- social aspect (assumptions people make, the selfship community)

- dreams about your f/o

- f/os helping against self negativity

- feeling like they're present in your life (and or imagning them with you)

- feeling insecure (bc you can't get confirmation f/o returns/would return feelings)

- freedom of headcanon and making S/Is

- becoming in a way part of another world

- never lacking someone to talk to

- the painful remembrance that f/o is not real and cannot really do X for you (X = have your back, for example)

- self generated serotonin

- becoming familiar with the shape of their face

- getting your daydreaming muscles back up to strength

- analyzing songs through a new lens

- feeling both love and loneliness in the community

- writing letters to your f/o (maybe even writing some 'back' from them?")

- buying clothes to say you stole from them

- feeling your f/o loves you no matter what and will be there for you always

- gaining comfort from your f/o on bad days

- being able to tell f/o anything, from interests others may find weird to traumas and beyond

- f/o helping you overcome anxiety and boosting self esteem

- creating because of your f/o (art writing etc)

- re above: selfship as a creative outlet

- the interplay of selfship and kin

- relating something mundane to your f/o and thus it becomes special

- using your f/o to motivate yourself ('f/o would want me to take care of myself')

- self made f/os aka OC f/os rather than media ones

- seeing your f/o get bashed or misinterpred

- fear of ridicule

- daydreaming but it becomes problematic (ie it interrupts getting important tasks done etc)

[nancypullen]

Winds of Change

I think I've had about all I can take from the ol' Denton library. I have poured myself into this job and, quite frankly, it's sucking the life right out of me. Without going into detail, I'm just going to say that I gave it six months and 100% of my effort only to understand why they have such a high turnover rate. C'est la vie. I'll let you know when my departure is final, you'll probably notice an increase in nonsense on this blog. With that out of the way, let me tell you about my latest treasure. I've mentioned the auction house just up the street from us, and that every Monday night there's an auction. It's usually estate sales, and can be either loads of junk or some really lovely finds. Last week it was about fifty-fifty. BUT, there was an item there that I really wanted and because I am cheap frugal I decided to set my maximum bid at $15. I know, I know, Diamond Jim, right? The whole point of an auction (for me) is to get something for practically nothing. On Monday night I was watching my piece like a hawk, hoping no one else displayed interest. I ended up bidding against just one other person and winning THIS for just $7.75!!

Isn't she gorgeous?? I'll put her in my craft room because I can always use more storage and those shelves are perfect for my art books. I felt like I hit lotto when I won for less than ten bucks! Of course, we all know that I'm about to spend thirty bucks on paint and foo-foo stuff to turn her into a show girl. Right now I'm thinking Irish Garden (left) and Peony (right) because I'm a girly-girl and proud of it.

Maybe a shade or two deeper than the Irish Garden, but I haven't made up my mind yet. I have to take into consideration the wall color (might be a bit too close to Irish Garden) and the furniture and décor already there. Any way you slice it, I'm going to have fun with this. I mean, look at these drawer pulls. Just take my money already!

In other delightful news, my Zepherine Drouhin climbing rose is climbing and blooming!

She's a beauty! I'm so excited. When she arrived she was just a stick with a couple of scraggly roots. Look at her go! That pic was snapped while I was spraying neem oil to keep the hungry bugs away. Why do bugs love roses so much? I'm happy to share bits and pieces of my gardens with insects, but they go after roses like piranhas. Everything else is chugging along just fine - zinnias and sunflowers are going to make the east side of the house glorious in a couple of weeks. Some of the zinnias are already blooming, it'll take the sunflowers quite a bit longer. The German Pink tomato plant that I picked up in Pennsylvania at an Amish market is thriving. It's got lots of blooms and each one promises a juicy fruit. Crossing my fingers. The kitchen herbs are all in good shape. As usual, the basil is practically a shrub. The dill is full, the rosemary is coming right along now that I moved her, and there's parsley in a pot out front. All of the various blooms and ferns are happy and healthy. It looks and feels like summer. We're going to have the full Strawberry Moon (it'll be hanging low in the sky) and the summer solstice at the same time. That's reason for my witchy heart to celebrate. Time to play my favorite song!

I loved that song in the 70's when King Harvest released it (I think I was 10), and loved it even more in the 2009 when Toploader cut their version. Know what's sad? I heard it the playing a couple of days ago in a commercial for retina medicine. I'm old. Time for me to head upstairs and soak in the tub. Tomorrow is a work day and I swear if anyone looks at me cross-eyed I'm outta' there. There's one coworker, someone I have to work closely with a lot, who is always in some sort of emotional turmoil and can't work. Normally I'd be very compassionate for anyone going through a tough time- but hers are self-inflicted and/or manufactured. It's exhausting. She's also a gossip and I don't like being put in the uncomfortable position of receiving another's private info that she shouldn't be telling me. Even worse, she's management so I can't complain to management. Not that I would, I'm an advocate of putting on my happy face and just getting the job done. It does make for long days, though. There are some truly lovely people who work there, but I do understand why so many have left. Ugh. Taking it a day at a time. That's why I'm going upstairs to soak in the tub and relax, to brace myself for whatever is coming my way tomorrow. It's always something - an OD, a coworker having a meltdown, something disgusting in the book drop, or just spicy patrons. A half hour in some hot water with a bath bomb recharges my batteries. I probably need these earrings too.

Anywho, I'll be reading in bed, covered up in cats, by the time the mister comes up. I think my reading material makes him nervous. This week's selections...

He probably sleeps with one eye open. Good night, my darlings. I hope that your days are happy and your nights restful. I hope that if things are topsy-turvy or stressful that they settle soon. And trust me, they will. Something that I tell myself about my less than satisfying life right now is that this is just a chapter, not my whole story. It ends, and something new begins. Always. Sending out lots of love tonight. Take what you need. Stay safe, stay well. XOXO, Nancy

[basslinegrave]

a small compilation of my Lineplay avatar. i went through many looks, especially over the last few years, but this was the original one (best seen in the 9th anniv pic, the left was my go-to styling when i started back in 2014) i decided that i will send him off with the items he wore the most.

(i decided on the look in the first picture, might change it a little bit tomorrow but i think its good like this.) images feature a screenshot from today, an edit from the games 9th anniv in 2021 i believe, a drawing from when i received 10k hearts and one i made in class in hs, showing off that flowery umbrella that was one of my most fav items (alongside the fox mask) oddly enough his hair is black and white like mine (even the haircut is similar if you squint) it makes sense i was drawn to it

yes, its just a silly game but i played this for almost 10 years! so it closing does make me sad. i havent been truly socializing there and such lately, but i still liked to pop in almost daily, so the ending feels quite abrupt and strong. i had this game on several phones over time, feels so weird remembering how it looked all those years ago... i dont care about the money i spent on it anymore, i actually stopped using the in game currency too so i guess he can spend it in the digital afterlife lol. thought about going for one more gacha where i wanted one pair of eyes but never got them, but i think its nicer if he has the cash you know? and 96k gems lmao thats nothing in LP economy now

the way theyre still going on strong is so odd to me, all those BUY ME popups even though its closing... im used to games getting dead first (except that one sega heroes game that ended rather abruptly and early too)

might edit this post tomorrow because i remembered i actually also made an art doll based on my avi. its very crude and probably already fallen apart but i know its on my shelf i just need to get it and snap a pic and hope it hasnt turned to dust or smth