#because i was distracted by the dungeon lesbians

[kedicatt]

The furry lesbians have been through hell since november, but it's okay because they earned two best friends, about 50 less relevant characters, some pages of storyboard and a 29 page long goodle doc.

original image:

[bleedingoptimism]

You Are Mine part 3

Second day is an early call too. They are going to shoot a bunch of scenes of them hanging out between shows, loitering on the bus, playing d&d, and going to weird little dinners, all things they actually do when on tour.

It’s even better than the day before, Robin and Steve get along so well with the band it feels like they’ve been friends for years.

Since their conversation won't be distinguishable in the video, Argyle tells them they can talk about whatever and just be a little more emphatic when talking so it reads better on camera.

A direction that apparently they don't need at all because they are both so expressive. And so, they actually get to chat and get to know each other better, laughing and joking all through the day.

Robin, who is a ‘raging lesbian’ (her words) is fucking adorable and bizarre, her energy is contagious and nerve-racking. She’s finishing a career in linguistics, can speak fluently in like six languages, and is apparently a certified genius.

She’s also head over heels obsessed with her girlfriend, and won’t stop talking about her. Vicky is a nurse student, one of Steve’s classmates actually.

‘Steve is a fucking nurse student, why is that hot? Why does he find that so hot? Jesus’.

Steve is much quieter than Robin, especially in comparison. But he’s just, or even funnier. Eddie can see how observant he is, listening attentively and waiting for his moment, because he’s mostly quiet but when he speaks he always says the perfect thing.

It’s like every time he talks Eddie can see him dropping an imaginary mike on the floor. It’s fascinating honestly.

He is incredibly sweet too. Eddie can tell, by how his eyes light up when they are placed in a scene meant to look like they are playing Dungeons and Dragons and he goes on a tangent about the kids he used to babysit when he was younger, that they like to play too, how they drove him insane and how he never lost touch with them after they grew up, how they are all seniors in high school now, how proud he is of them. It’s so fucking cute.

They get a good laugh imagining the kids' reactions to seeing them in the video, Steve laughing so hard he cries when Robin starts imitating the expression of one of them finding out Steve made out with his favorite singer.

And they haven’t even talked about or planned that scene yet, it’s meant to be shot tomorrow, but when he hears them talking about it, it fills Eddie up with antici…pation. He’s dying to kiss Steve and he can’t stop thinking about it.

♫

After the lunch break, they shoot a bunch of scenarios of Eddie sneaking into various places, the bus, a bathroom, a changing room, and so on. Since Robin and Steve are practically the same height is easy to cheat the camera into only showing the back of the shirt that says ‘crew’ making it impossible to know which one of them he’s hooking up with until the end of the video.

He has a lot of fun pushing Steve into different corners of the set, and Steve does too judging from all his cute little laughs between scenes. 

Argyle calls it a day late afternoon, he’s happy and excited, says he has a really good feeling about this,

“Not many scenes left to shoot, mostly you two,” he said pointing at Steve and him, “So we can start mid-morning tomorrow. Get some rest my dudes, love you” and dismisses them.

Eddie gets distracted talking with Argyle so when he gets back to the changing room there’s no one there, except… Steve.

He’s meticulously fixing his hair in the mirror and he’s humming the video’s song. Of course he is, Eddie thinks amused, he’s heard it so many times by now. He leans on the doorway watching Steve’s reflection, waiting for him to notice Eddie, but Steve doesn’t see him right away, and thinking he’s alone, he starts singing.

I don’t want to hide anymore,

I want the whole world to know,

That you are mine,

Are you mine, please be mine, you are mine.

It’s his song, but it sounds nothing like it. The chorus of You Are Mine is loud, angry, desperate but what Steve is singing sounds so soft, so beautiful. It sounds like one of those slow acoustic covers that usually play in coffee stores and it’s funny, Eddie despises those kinds of covers, but Steve’s? 

Steve’s he could listen to all the goddam time.

He’s so lost in his thoughts he doesn't notice when Steve finally sees him, he only looks up when the singing stops.

Steve is smiling at him bashfully through the reflection in the mirror, blushing prettily. 

Smiling back he tells Steve, “I’m surprised you are not sick of it yet,”

He pushes himself off the doorframe and walks inside, hovering over Steve since he’s sitting on the only makeup chair.

Steve shrugs as he stands up and leaves the chair to Eddie, going around the room to grab his things. Eddie can’t help but feel a little disappointed, he kind of wanted Steve to keep him company, but to his surprise, Steve doesn't leave immediately, and it’s his turn to hover slightly close.

“It’s a really catchy song,” Steve says and Eddie snorts because, no, it’s not. But he just smiles again and says,

“Well, thank you.”

“You wrote it?” Steve asks tilting his head to the side and it’s fucking unfair how cute he looks when he does it.

Eddie just nods, because speaking hard when cute boy near. Man he usually has so much more game, what is it about Steve that just makes him feel so giddy?

“It must be about someone very special,” Steve says and there’s a question hidden somewhere in there.

And Eddie wants to tell him ‘I wrote it for you’ because it feels like he did. He wrote the song thinking about a concept, an ideal, someone he would truly want, and he genuinely feels he was conjuring up Steve in his mind. Even before he met him.

But instead, he shakes his head and says, “It’s hypothetical, there- there’s no one.”

And Steve smiles at him, his smile getting bigger slowly and his cheeks redder as he looks down for a second before staring at Eddie through his lashes, “Good” he says in an almost whisper and then leaves the room.

And Eddie thinks maybe all the songs in their next album will be about Steve.

to be continued

part 1: ♫

part 2: ♫

part 3: is this

part 4: ♫ 

☕ cafecito?

[atopvisenyashill]

can you rank the great houses? 😊

obviously this is just my opinion on them, etc etc also thank you for this ask i love lists alskjdfj

9. House Arryn

Constantly dying off but they had a lesbian and a milf as rulers once so they have that going for them. House Royce is cooler, GIVE ME MORE BRONZE YOHN I'M READY FOR HIM!!!!

8. House Lannister

I’m sorry but They Are Just Fine. When I’m reading their chapters I feel something and then I mostly forget about them after I'm done. I wish we had a real Dance era book mostly for Joanna and Tyland tho.

7. House Tyrell

I think it’s really funny that they are upjumped stewards and the whole Reach has been pissy about it for generations. Mostly exist for other characters to project onto but by god do they reflect back in fun ways. I want to meet Willas so bad but I’m positive if we meet him he’ll die soon after so rip me!!

6. House Targaryen

Interesting villain house that George gets too distracted by too often. Lots of fun historical characters, the cyclical doom is amazing to read but Dany’s chapters drag so bad to me at some points and F&B just pissed me AWF. The best ones are usually tied to her magic (prophecy chapters, fever/vision dream chapters) or her dragons in some way and the dragon bond is also what I tend to find most interesting in her ancestors as well.

5. House Greyjoy

I haven't reread Victarian in years but damn Aeron, Asha, and Theon are all as great as I remember so I'm making the decision to put them this high on memory alone. But this family is just a group of the most delusional people ever, struggling in a culture that doesn't allow room for struggle, and the way Euron acts as this black hole of terror for all of them, until finally, finally, there is Asha, not only knowing and understanding that the way she's lived is wrong but going home and dragging everyone else through the dark and into the light with her. Also, their culture is just really fun and cool.

4. House Baratheon

Started by my number two enemy, Orys Baratheon, but damn do I love basically everyone else in this stupid ass House. The House as a whole really plays with masculinity; what it is, the damage you do when you measure up to your role, the lengths they will go to in order to pretend the fault lies elsewhere, craving the pleasures but refusing to deal with the consequences, and all of that fallout landing on their innocent children, dooming them for the next generation as well. I need more Baratheon women tho jfc.

3. House Tully

I literally love that the Tully’s are in canon known as being huge bitter bitches. The most fucked up idea of what family is in the world but by god do these people try, they all try so hard to live up to those words but the price of duty and honor is always the sacrifice of their children for The Family, and not actual protection of their family, and while Hoster recognizes this far too late, his children become determined to do Every Single Thing Wrong in order to be loyal to both The Family and their family. Unpleasant people, I love them so much.

2. House Stark

Taught me what family is!!!! The whole series for them is an examination of the family unit under pressure and how their attempts to stick to their assigned roles (The Mother, The Father, The Heir, The Dutiful Daughter, etc) just makes them completely break under the stress so they discover what's under that - AND IT'S LOVE BITCH. I HATE the analysis that their stories are about rejecting love or overcoming emotion because it all comes back to that moment with Ned in the dungeons, remembering how he chose Lyanna, Jon, and love over honor, the way he chooses Sansa over honor, THAT is the point, for all of them, trying to keep these impossible oaths of honor and ignore love but in the end, the father they venerate chose love because it is not just okay to yearn for love, it is human and natural and good to love others.

1. House Nymeros Martell

LISTEN. WHO ELSE COULD IT BE.

If the Starks are a family desperately trying to find each other again, than the Martells have long been lost. A House defined in its modern day by the violating loss of one of its daughters in a society that doesn't put much worth in losing daughters. It's the themes of justice and vengeance, waiting on the system that is not meant to help you to bring you peace, on the people who are at the outskirts of society finding the line between the overthrow of power and keeping the cycle going, it's STANDING AS AN ACT OF LOVE. For Doran to his Arianne, for Oberyn to Elia in the face of Tywin, for Elia to her children in the face of the Mountain, for Meria and Nymor and Maron and Loreza and Nymeria and Mors, the point is not just to stand up and fight but to stand up and fight for something, to fight for the people who depend on you because there is no one else to do it. A responsibility, a calling, an honor, a horror.

[yourfriendlyshapeshiftermonsters]

✨Introduction Post✨

🌟Facts About Me🌟

(Please read this post before you add me into your mutual list)

♪ The name's Charols!/Paige. It changed with moods. Currently feeling like Paige rn hope you don't mind

♪ Loves drawing and writing! My tags are #charols art gallery and #charols writing ideas. I will either send an endless link of videos or about my world building for hours. Please

♪ Dm & art/writing requests are open! Any kind of request are accepted here so go ahead and just ask! I'm open to everyone really! <3 (except humans i suck at thoseee aughhhh

♪ fandom I'm in rn :

object show

bfdi

inanimate insanity

Furry

Rainworld

Fandom I'm not active in,but still love them! :

Pikmin

Cult of the lamb

Undertale/Deltarune

Cookie run

Omega mart

Patapon

Dicey dungeon

Hollowknight (still waiting for that sequel 😔)

♪ like to draw:

Hybrid objects

Cute beings

Scary/edgy sketch

♪ love all of my mutuals equally! Tho hates being popular. Too overwhelming for me. So please don't tag me in your post if you can ^^;

♪ Please reminds me if i had gone overboard with my talks,i am not the greatest at socialism.

✨Some Unnecessary✨

✨ Facts About Me ✨

♪ Weirdcore/Dreamcore lover ❤

♪ Lesbian,open for relationship! <3

♪ Probably have adhd or smth like that

♪ I'm an artist. But a super slow one. L i t e r a l l y. And my art style are nonexistent! I can make some cartoonist drawing yesterday and i can absolutely draw realistically looking stuff tomorrow depending on my moods!

♪ Dm are always open! you can be my mutual too if you wanna,i absolutely love to talks to others people! But my deepest apologize if i make things akward, i'm not the greatest at talking with others. I would either be talking to you with a small talk like hi & wassup. or i would send you random shit that i love. hoping it make your days better too. or just have a long conversation on a topic i love such as my fandom or just a random brain storming.

♪ I amm SUPER. Easily distracted and overwhelmed by everything.. So I'm sorry if i ignore you a lil while. Definitely Would be dead for a few days and then goes back to absolutely bombarded you with notification sometimes.

♪ I'm working on an object show comic i would call Major Chaos. So i hope you're ready because it would take 2763 years for me to develop on it lol

♪ If you think any of those as annoying to you. Please just tell me to stop aight? I'm the worst at reading people feelings

Random stuff,dont mind please;

Horse

(WIP!!!)

MASTER POST

Major Chaos

A comic I'm working on about a teenager finding himself in a new entire place with no recollection of what happened to her. Trying to learn,adapt and survive this new cruel world and try her best to help the one who needs too

Charols

Halloween costume

'Damn'

Lucy

Drake

Lilith

Random characters

Big Brother

Scrambled Destiny SCRAPPED AU

(sorry)

An II swap au with the twist was me putting them all into a randomizer into other character and see how i can piece them all together and how different things would be while also trying to stay like the original.. Sorry it's kinda difficult to explain it

More explanation

Clover

Taco

Oj

Candle

Random oc

Robo-book

1

Haven't finished this masterpost yet.. Have breadbug instead

[patchoulol]

Tagged by @busyfish

Last Song: Pi po pa po pi po.

Sweet/Savory/Spicy: Sweet drinks (my body fat is 90% Dr Pepper), spicy savory food, by which I mean I have a habit of dumping cayenne pepper on everything.

Currently Watching: X-Men '97, Dungeon Meshi (mostly your fault), starting this Star Trek season when I'm caught up, and the group watch is always on Pretty Cure but they're also making me watch Blue Archive at gunpoint.

Relationship Status: My younger lesbian poly Mexicanadian Catholic sugar mama cuckquean hot cosplay girlfriend wants me to get more girlfriends when I'm not even sure how I got her, title of my anime.

Current Obsession: I need to shake my motivation killing depression to get back to FF7 Rebirth so I can get back to finishing Endwalker and fit FF16 in there somewhere before Dawntrail but I recently got distracted watching someone's FF1 PR playthrough because seeing MMO onlies react to the old games I grew up with is funny so let's say Final Fantasy.

I tag the girl reading this.

[dirty-trash-mongrel]

PINNED POST YIPPEE

Hiya! I go by Mongrel, I leik, Seawigs or Sewage! ᓚᘏᗢ I post what I want when I want, I have no consistent post schedule and this blog is mostly just comprised of my interests!!!

Asks are highly encouraged and are open to anything not on my DNI list ^^ though this is subject to change if I feel stressed or uncomfortable with something

QUICK ABOUT ME :

✵ She/They/It (+ Nye/Nyem) ! I prefer a variety, but any is fine! ✵ Demigirl lesbian thing, my labels are many but those are my 'main' ✵ Aspiring animator and game designer ✵ Silly things distract me easily ✵ CATS >>>>>>> ✵ Serial Designation J is the best character of any piece of media ✵ I love to draw, especially media-inspired things, but sadly I get art block easily ✵ I primarily draw in Procreate! ✵ Socially awkward + Very self conscious, a great combination! (I LOVE TALKING TO PEOPLE THO PLEASE DON'T BE DETERRED)

INTERESTS / FANDOMS / HYPERFIXATIONS:

✵ Murder Drones ✵ Dungeon Meshi ✵ Pressure

(More under cut)

✵ Rain World ✵ Wings of Fire ✵ Lethal Company ✵ Indigo Park ✵ Regretevator ✵ Hollow Knight ✵ Scott Pilgrim ✵ Deltarune ✵ Undertale Yellow ✵ Adventure Time & Fionna and Cake ✵ Toilet-Bound Hanako-Kun ✵ Inscryption ✵ Wandersong ✵ Pokemon

MY TAGS :

I don't know, I have tags for certain things of mine on my blog because I thought it'd be silly

#mongrel behavior is the tag with all of my posts that aren't reblogs #alley scribbles is my art tag #critterville is my OC tag #dumpster bullshit is my random thoughts/ramblings tag, anything that's a text post

DNI LIST :

✵ Homophobes/Transphobes ✵ TERFs ✵ Ableists ✵ Pedophiles ✵ Zoophiles ✵ Proshippers ✵ Prolifers ✵ BASIC DNI

PLEASE FUCK OFF IF YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF ANY OF THESE!

[hiveswap]

I'm glad you asked! It's a basic dnd-inspired fantasy setting. The party is composed of humans, an elf, a halfling, and a dwarf.

In the first 5 minutes the party loses its healer/mage and they make the decision to venture back into the dungeon with basically no supplies in order to save her in time.

No supplies means no food either, so their leader proposes that they just start eating monsters down in the dungeon. The idea is protested but theyve got literally no other choice. There's a lot of grumbling and complaining but the food does look good. (It's like the main selling point of the series)

So they head down. And then the story boils you like a frog, distracts you with slice of life cooking montages, until you catch yourself pausing to stare at the wall both because of the horror elements of the plot and because it's gotten far too relatable for comfort (especially if you grew up autistic)

There's also a struggling lesbian elf i like her a lot. The Nightmares they are cooking on the screen are clam creatures related to dragons, that move into people's pillows and feed off of their insecurities in their dreams until they die. They fed off of her fear of outliving everyone she loves and being unable to stop it. It's a lot of fun

theyre actually sautéing the horrors

[carelessapples]

pride month art challenge day twelve*: yasha nydoorin | orphan maker

*once again delayed

[its-deputy-caleb]

Hi! I hope you’re doing well, I really love your writing and I recently tried to come out to my family but it didn’t go as well as I’d hoped. I was wondering if you could do the four lords’ reactions to reader coming out as lesbian (it doesn’t have to be lesbian specific if you don’t want to) If you don’t feel comfortable writing this it’s totally fine, no pressure at all. And thank you for all of your work it really helps me just relax sometimes 😘

Hii, I’m so glad that my writing is able to make you feel happy! It honestly makes my day!! I’m so happy to write this for you and I feel so honoured to write this, I apologise that it’s late I wanted to write it sooner.

I’m sorry that all this has happened to you and if you ever need anything I will always be here for a listen if you need <3 just message x I also wrote this from some person experiences since I am bi and have also had bad experiences so this is just to make everyone feel loved and included!

Alcina Dimitrescu

You’re sitting on the lounge of one of the various sitting areas in Castle Dimitrescu, having tea with the Lady of the house one cold evening.

You were both enjoying each other’s company, having grown very fond of Alcina and her daughters. You’d become something like an aunt to the girls and Alcina had accepted you into her house with open arms.

The Lady Dimitrescu was currently speaking about another “man-thing” she had hidden in the dungeon when you told her about your own feelings towards women.

Your heart is practically beating in your throat as the nerves make you feel nauseous, anxiously awaiting a reaction from the Lady Dimitrescu. Your palms shaking slightly as she stopped speaking to glance at you.

Tears well in your eyes as you wonder if you’ve made a mistake, instantly going to apologise.

She takes two large steps towards you, kneeling down and takes your much smaller hands in her own. Her thumb moves in gentle circles along your knuckles as she soothes you.

“My darling, please do not cry… You’re too beautiful in your youth to be sad. Just know you will always be loved here in my castle both by my daughters and myself. No harm will come to you, I promise; I will protect you always.”

She brings her hand up to wipe a stray tear from your cheek, holding your chin up so you can look at her. Everything about her presence is calming and loving in that moment.

“All that matters in this world is your happiness, my darling, don’t let anybody take it away from you.”

She places a soft kiss to the back of your hand and uses it to bring you into a tight hug. Her arms wrap around you tightly and she holds you close, almost protecting you from the outside world.

“Come now; if you’re to be staying with us, you’ll be needing your own formal room. Besides if you stay with us you’ll find that you and I are not so different.”

You look up at her with wide eyes as she gives you a large smile and scoops you up in her arms. It’s there that she carries you to your new chambers just down the hall from her own and you continue to stay with the Lady Dimitrescu.

Each day and night she reminds you just how much you’re loved by her and her family, making sure you know just how much she cares for you no matter who you are.

Donna Beneviento

You’re standing on the porch with Donna, over looking the waterfall which her house sits next to. You notice Angie is not with her and she’s in lighter clothes than her usual layers which she wears to visit Mother Miranda.

It’s one thing you’re very happy about is Donna’s comfort around you. You two are very close and you’re the only person she feels like she can be herself even without her dolls. To her, you’re someone that makes her feel normal and safe in this crazy and chaotic world.

Much like Donna, you’ve kept to yourself, often hiding how you really feel inside but she’s someone who you’ve grown to trust with your life and who care for very deeply about.

That’s why you feel ready to finally tell her about your own feelings and who you are. Yet it doesn’t make it any less nerve racking, your friendship with Donna means everything to you and you don’t want to lose her.

She notices the way you tense up, how you focus more on the water falling to distract yourself, fiddling with your hands at the same time.

Donna leans over and rests her head on your shoulder which you relax into and place your head on hers as her arm wraps around you reassuringly.

“Angie and I still love you. No matter what, you’re still the only one who likes us. Just because you feel a certain way doesn’t change that.”

Donna’s hand squeezes every so often against your arm, a reminder that she means what she says. Her touch keeping you warm out in the cold as her words warm your heart.

Salvatore Moreau

You and Moreau have always found comfort in each other. The two of you feeling rejected by everyone in society, just wishing that someone would give you the opportunity to get to know you both better. To see the real you.

That’s what you were, inseparable and each other’s second chance to be yourselves. You were all you two had, telling each other everything and sticking by each other.

Hidden away in his reservoir was your own little world where no one could judge either of you and you could be yourselves.

That’s why with your hand in his, squeezing tightly, you decided to come out to him.

His hand squeezes back and matches your strength as he smiles at you, proud that you were able to say it.

“You’re my best friend, you know? And I will never view you any differently because you like girls, you’re braver than I could ever wish to be.”

Salvatore is captured by your ability to be yourself, especially around him. He feels honoured that you trust him with everything, even something as daunting as coming out and he makes you feel validated and respected all the time.

You’re something of a role model to him and the two of you work through all your troubles together, always relying on each other for support.

You never once had to face anything alone, no matter how hard it was for you to come out to everyone else, Salvatore was always there for you and was by your side.

Karl Heisenberg

You and Karl had an interesting friendship, something akin to the term “chalk and cheese”. He was the wild and crazy engineer, always tinkering in his workshops, working tirelessly for his revenge on Mother Miranda while you were the gentle and sweet soul who was once a member of the village.

No matter of your differences, you were both the only one you had left. You truly cared about each other. Although you both weren’t always great at saying it, you each had your moments.

After Karl told you about his childhood, the experiments he endured and the Cadou implant you both agreed to tell each other everything and he honest. Promising to be there for each other.

That’s why you knew you could come out to him and tell you how you felt deep down.

He instantly drops the hot piece of metal he was welding to draw his attention to you. Leaning in and listening to you as you told him all of what you had been hiding.

At the end of it you’re exhausted, teary eyed and in need of a hug which he gladly provides, practically crushing you as he holds you close.

“Hey now, you’re not broken like I am, there’s nothing wrong with who you are. Fuck what anyone has to say, if they want to hurt you I won’t let them okay? If they’ve got a problem with who you love they’re gonna have to deal with me. I mean it, if anyone gives you shit they’ll be fed to the lycans!”

You laugh at his little speech and he smiles when he sees you happy. Although apart of you knows he’s very serious and cares about you enough to rip anyone’s throat out for hurting you.

Karl Heisenberg was the last person you’d expect to find a friend in and yet he’d stop at nothing to make you feel loved and safe in his home.

i love all of you <3

[darcyfangirlsfrequently]

We Fell in Love in October, chapter 7 - October 7th: Hoco-prosals

For @dungeons-are-too-cold because they suggested Homecoming stuff, and @gaelic-symphony because beta-reader

Summary: Homecoming is approaching, and a series of last-minute proposals take place

Chapter word count: 888

Total word count: 9251

Can also be read here on Ao3

On Monday Derek showed up at Spencer's locker with balloons and a sign that said HOMECOMING? 

Spencer accepted with a laugh and a kiss to his boyfriend. "You dork. We were already going together."

"Well I know, but I still wanted to officially ask you!"

"A few days before the dance?"

Derek shrugged. "You still said yes."

"Because I'm your boyfriend, dummy," he said, kissing him once again.

Tara's heart dropped, and she quickly whipped out her phone and made a new group chat, excluding only Emily.

Tara: GUYS PLZ HELP ME ASK EMILY TO HOCO BEFORE THE END OF THE DAY

JJ: BITCH

JJ: IT IS ON FUCKING FRIDAY

JJ: YOU HAVEN'T ASKED HER YET???

Tara: No!!! I mean we just started dating and I kind of forgot about it???

Luke: Homecoming is on Friday?????

Penelope: Did your hot date not remind you?

Luke: I don't have a date. Yet. I was going to ask someone but I got so distracted thinking of the right way to do it, so I kind of lost track of time and now it's probably too late. I'll be really surprised if someone else hasn't asked her already.

Penelope: You were going to ask someone??? Who???

Luke: Oh no, not a chance, I am not telling you.

Penelope: Come on!!

Luke: No!! Don't you have your own date to worry about?

Penelope: Nope! 

Luke: Wait, really????

Penelope: Unfortunately for you, Newbie, I am as free as a bird, and have no one to focus on but you.

Matt: *Slamming my head into a wall repeatedly*

Derek: Tara, did me asking Spencer remind you?

Tara: …

Tara: Potentially.

Matt: *still slamming my head into a wall repeatedly*

Penelope: Are you going over to her house this afternoon?

Tara: Yeah, we're going to do some homework, hang out, play with Sergio, then she's coming over to mine for dinner.

Penelope: Then put a little note on his collar that says, "will you go to homecoming with Tara?"

Tara: Penelope I adore you. Mwah mwah mwah.

Penelope: Anything for my favorite gays.

Spencer: I thought Derek and I were your favorite gays????

Penelope: Anything for my favorite lesbians*

Spencer: That's more like it.

***

Tara was nervous for the rest of the day, even if she didn't really have a reason to be. Emily was now her girlfriend, and would pretty much definitely say yes. She probably already assumed they would be going together and didn't need to be asked. But Tara wanted to. She'd been pining over Emily for years and had wanted to ask her in the past, but had ultimately chickened out. This was her first and last chance where she could guarantee a yes.

So, that afternoon, while Emily was getting them some snacks from the kitchen, Tara attached her note to Sergio's collar.

Emily came back with a bowl of chips and placed it down between her and Tara, and Sergio jumped into her lap to get her to pet him. He had become quite the spoiled cat overnight. "Hey, you," Emily said affectionately while scratching just under his chin. He lifted his head to allow Emily to scratch him more, and it was then that she saw the note. "What's this you have?" She removed it from the collar and read it out loud. "Will you go to homecoming with Tara?" She jerked her head up to look at Tara, who was looking back a little sheepishly. "Seriously?"

"I mean, yeah, if you want to? I mean, we're girlfriends now, so you might have assumed we were already going together, but I wanted to ask you anyway and–"

Tara was cut off by Emily leaning in and kissing her gently. Like, actually kissing her. "I'd love to."

Tara smiled, and kissed Emily again, because she could now. She could.

***

In a private chat between Luke and Penelope

Luke: Hey, I know it's kind of last minute, but do you want to go to homecoming with me?

Penelope: You mean since everyone else in our friend group is going together?

Luke: No

Luke: Well, not really.

Luke: Like do you want to go together.

Luke: Yeah we'll physically go with them, but like, go TOGETHER.

Penelope: So you're asking me to be your date?

Luke: Yes? But I didn't want to make you uncomfortable by actually saying the word date.

Penelope: Luke, it's fine.

Penelope: Yes, I'll go with you. It'll be fun!

Luke: Really? Awesome!!!

Luke: What colour tie and corsage do I need to get?

Penelope: You don't need to color-coordinate with me.

Penelope: Or buy me a corsage.

Luke: I want to!!!

Luke: So seriously, what color?

Penelope: Are you really asking me of all people that question?

Luke: Right, my bad. Any particular shade of pink?

Penelope: I'll send you a picture of my dress.

Penelope: [image attachment] (it's the strawberry dress that's all over the internet.)

Luke: Oh my god. 

Luke: That's beautiful!

Luke: You'll look amazing.

Penelope: Thank you!

Luke: Of course.

Luke: I'm really looking forward to this.

Penelope: You know what? Me too.

Tara and Emily, who were still sitting beside each other, cuddled on Emily's couch, got a message at the same time.

I ASKED PENELOPE TO HOMECOMING AND SHE SAID YES

LUKE ASKED ME TO HOCO AND I SAID YES

[shhhhthevoidissleeping]

A Brief List of Things that Make Me Happy

Visiting my girlfriend at work

The sound of waves gently lapping at a lakeshore

Finding really cool or pretty rocks

Showing those rocks to, of course, my girlfriend

People doing that little "oop! Sorry!" when they accidentally bump into each other (although obviously haven't seen much of that since, y'know, the pandemic is still happening here)

Good breakfast food, especially potatoes

Dancing even though I'm bad at it

Doodling random things of no consequence

Watching cartoons, bonus if it's with my girlfriend

Writing poetry about cool things that happened

When orders I really look forward to getting here ship early

When a movie I haven't seen in a long time strikes a chord in my heart

Happy crying

The smell of lavender

Putting down a bottle of Dawn dish soap and a little bubble comes out the top bc the lid is still open

When butterflies almost run into me

Seeing a meme that reminds me of someone I care about and getting all excited to send it to them

Tea, hot or iced

A nice chocolate muffin

Writing with a new pen

Teachers/professors that don't cold call on students

Sapphic yearning, but not bc I don't have a girlfriend, just because I miss her

Playing videogames

Drawing peoples' OCs and getting good feedback when I ask if they like it

Seeing nonbinary lesbian positivity posts

My dog when he wants to play tug of war with me

Honestly just my dog in general

My sibling when they show me an art project they're really proud of

Animal Crossing

Frogs

Seeing someone in public that also looks Visibly Queer

Taking an afternoon to myself and not feeling guilty about it

Sometimes drinking water just Slaps

Those days when I feel particularly proud of my gender and lesbianism

Pins

My friends that let me ramble about my interests

The ocean, especially sharks

Getting/making new OCs

Curling up with a book

Playing Dungeons and Dragons

Losing to my girlfriend at Magic: the Gathering

Seeing the small handful of people that interact with my posts in my notifications (I don't mind having a small audience! Hello ^-^)

Playing checkers

Jojo's Bizarre Adventure cosplayers

Vivid sunrises and sunsets

S o u p

Lukewarm showers after exercising

Big t-shirts and sweaters

Additionally, stealing my girlfriend's big t-shirts and sweaters

Getting new dice sets (I only have one set this is a crime)

Cleaning sinks and organizing my desk

Copying notes so that they look nice and clean and there's no distracting doodles in the margins

Feeling like I have enough time to do what I want to do

Talking to people I haven't talked to in a while

Playing piano, even poorly, with or without an audience

Digimon and pokemon

Shiny snivy, sentret, and venipede

Seeing people write appreciation posts for someone they love or something they care about

Body positivity posts

Comfy shoes

Lastly, cooking mac n cheese

Thanks for reading if you got through all this! I just wanted to write about a bunch of things I like :') Sometimes it's best to remind yourself of the good in this world

[patchdotexe]

explorers of arvus: port draavos / 3.23.20

and now for something different: the misadventures of the hope’s guard

so for the past 3 years ive been in an ongoing dnd5e campaign run by michael called Explorers of Arvus, which is super cool and super fun and i love it a whole lot! and back when i used twitter, i’d liveblog our sessions and that ended up being my way of note taking bc im otherwise quite terrible at it

after i stopped using twitter, that had the side effect of me not keeping notes anymore, so i kind of didnt remember any of the past couple sessions? especially because its hard for all 6 of us to have like, schedules that make sense, so there’s a lot of distance between each session.

and then i realized i can just take notes shitpost-liveblog style and then just… like, put it on tumblr or whatever. i’ll probably make like, ill probably port over my old liveblog threads onto here sometime but until then: we played d&d today! Time For Shenanigans

some quick context: we’re called the Hope’s Guard, but our unofficial silly name is Chunch Bunch the Dungeon Master is Michael aka Skalter aka @openlyeight​ Taure M’ea is a half-elf paladin played by Penn aka @penn-name​ and she is doing her best. Sieron Astora is a human (secretly half-orc) wizard played by Jorb aka @jorbs-palace​ and he’s basically the protagonist, and also starting to be gay for Charlie Charlie Wickfield is a halfling wild magic sorcerer played by Leos aka us and she’s known for being very chaotic, lighting things on fire, and having a high charisma score but no idea how to articulate anything Thorne is a half-orc warlock played by Solar aka @craftlands​ and he grew up in nonsense land aka the feywild and i love him, and also he’s fine-tuned to be able to snipe the shit out of anything within a 600 ft radius of him w/ eldritch blast Silje Cottonwood is a tabaxi blood hunter played by Nyx aka @patheticnyas​ and he is very edgy but also a cat and is VERY gay for Thorne our general goal is to stop some motherfucker called Halvkar / the God-King from… i dunno, being a huge bitch? he dumped zombies all over Arvus and that’s a problem. its late at night and i just played d&d for several hours

AND SO: WE PLAYED D&D FOR THE FIRST TIME OF THE DECADE

last time:

chunch bunch beat up the cult and now we’re FINALLY GOING TO ARVUS, YALL (also we picked up a cat) (his name is silly. its silje but literally pronounced like “silly”) sieron hatched a child! so like, we have a lil coatl friend now OH RIGHT SIERON HAS A MOM. sierons mom is here charlie and sieron attempted to have a gay scene but charlie went off script by being “[internal dial up noises]” when sieron said something really heartwarming we’re in fort draavos! and now we’re picking up sidequests and just kinda wanderin around. woo!

NOW, ON EXPLORERS OF ARVUS:

thorne and charlie discuss the morals of necromancy, and also the concept of “[charlie voice] necromancy racism”

EVERYONE IS BONDING WITH CHARLIE TODAY taure gave charlie the rune of wound closure and told her to stay safe and im :keralisweep:

accidentally started a cutscene bc charlie is very loud in a temple, oop. some priests(?) glared at us and walked off and im sure they wont stab us later! ingrid the adorkable friend has been having reoccuring nightmares about a dark figure w/ black robes standing above a bleeding platform high in the air over a swamp and summoning undead, so we’re gonna go hit that up! it MIGHT be like, a vision of the past, but even if so thats still pretty relevant also there’s a cool half orc lady named undril silvertusk who we’re gonna escort to camp vengeance! she’s awesome

thorne: i was in a dungeon once charlie: you got better! thorne: [points] i DID get better!

summer: can i roll to steal the laser gun? michael: if you find the dragon, you can try to steal the laser gun.

solar: guys, we have to protect the lesbians at all costs. and if one of them turns out to be an ancient gold dragon and curses my dick, then so be it

taure: dont worry, i wont let you die. ingrid: …okay :D!

THE HOT SPRINGS EPISODE IS FINALLY HAPPEN sorry thorne. charlie dabbed at a buff tiefling charlie is too fucking short for the hot springs. also she’s like 50% hair so she is Dying

time for food! we ran into an adventuring party that is apparently based off one michael was part of in another campaign, and i think the buff tiefling is his? also taure ordered samples of everything and then got Super plastered

thorne rolled really good to infodump hardcore about arvus artifacts and it is cute and id die for him oop michael asked for all our passive perception

omg theres an introduction of a ~mysterious character~ and originally theyre supposed to just sneak off but then michael realized they’d be genuinely interested in thorne’s infodumping so now theyre just Lurking

the opposite of a slow burn is a fast explosion

[everyone gets distracted quoting realtime fandub]

oops taure is depressed! ALSO SHE BROKE UP WITH SIGRA??? charlie is VERY bad at emotional support so she’s just “uhhhhhhhhh”, but thankfully thorne catches her before she faceplants into her potatoes CAN ANY OF US CARRY TAURE??? SHE’S IN FULL ARMOUR AND ALSO PASSED OUT

michael: what do you do with the bottle? summer: eat it

charlie get haircut! WITH SWORDS. her hair is now like midway down her back so its like, a bit shorter than when she first met everybody silje: do you want this [the hair he cut off]? charlie: UH WHAT WOULD I .. DO WITH IT… silje: …make a rope? charlie: yknow what i might as fucking well, who knows if id need spare hair

penn: i dont think taure is horny tho! summer: ITS OK, SILJE IS HORNY ENOUGH FOR ALL OF US

michael: Sieron, Str of 10- action hero Thorne, str of 14- twink nyx: silly, str of 13- cat solar: i guess thorne is a hunk. michael: thorne is a twunk summer: the t in thorne stands for twunk

taure, extremely drunk and sad: CHARLIE IM SORRY I MADE YOU BURN DOWN THAT LIBRARY (sieron and thorne carried her to bed and she ended up apologising a whole lot about literally everything)

jorb/sieron wants to know if charlie’s hair has any lingering wild magic nonsense!

thorne’s staring out the window! and also discord kept censoring solar when they were trying to say that THIS ENTIRE AREA IS WITHIN THORNE’S RANGE. solar: i could shoot someone at the thundering boar tavern [from our tavern] jorb: [as thorne] WRONG TAVERN, IDIOT!

solar called soldier:76 a cornfucker and it blindsided me so hard

michael: silje cottonwood, dark edgy blood hunter. [flops over on camera] NOTICE MEEEEEEEE

WE’RE NOW MAKING NONSTOP FORT DRAAVOS PUNS. i had to go clean pepper’s litter and when i came back they were STILL GOING

thorne pets silje on accident bc silje ws doing an anime squat on the balcony’s railing and is now having a crisis of “is it appropriate to pet the furry?” AND ALSO SILLY IS VERY SOFT

jorb & michael: [say something cursed] summer: [looking around frantically] I DONT HAVE AN IMPROVISED WEAPON solar: Allow Me. [brandishes baseball bat on camera]

[olberic]

vesperia ask meme from this post 

👤 favourite character?

pretty even tie between raven and patty! love their backstories. love their development. love their thottiness

👥 most used party?

yuri or flynn / raven / patty / rita ! yuri or flynn depends on what mood im in or if i want extra healing

👍 who do you play as most?

still yuri, but ive been playing as patty a lotttt more lately

👎 who do you play as least?

estelle and judith.... i love them but im so bad at targeting estelle’s spells and i can’t keep judith in the air for longer than like.. 20 hits....

🌆 favourite town?

aurnion!! the music is so so good, i love that its a base of sorts for a lot of the npcs, and i really like that its like in a corner of a mountain too! i’d live there

🏞 favourite dungeon?

manor of the wicked, mostly bc i spent sooo much time grinding in and around there! honourary mention for tarqaron for having the best soundtrack tho

🌎 is there anywhere on the world map that’s comforting to you?

i love the zopheir drifts! 

😴 what inn do you go to most often?

the one in myorzo even tho its super inconvenient bc it has everyone sharing a bed which i think is super cute 

🎧 favourite song on the soundtrack?

YES i listen to the soundtrack all the time YES i have these memorized: breath of resonance (aurnion), fury sparks (vs flynn), twisted blades (vs zagi), oath of the union (dahngrest), tragic resolution (sad music from the post-cumore confrontation), dark conspiracy and the tower of contraption (upper ghasfarost), radiant light fostering life (egothor forest), the world at your fingertips (zaude), brooding omen (tarqaron)

🦅 most fun giganto beast to fight?

BRUTAL BY FAR... it spawns so often and u can get ur allies to distract the summons and just 1v1 it w a paralysis charm

🐆 favourite monster?

first time i had to fight a skunky i nearly cried i can’t kill them i always run away

🐉 favourite boss?

fight wise? probably gauche and droite bc they’re fun or estelle bc she’s really easy to practice combos on! character wise its schwann bc ill admit it i simp for raven

⚔️ most fun battle?

again probably gauche and droite, and outside of bosses it’d be the wrath nails in the labyrinth of memories! if u take flynn and just use dazzling glare on them two or three times you get a fatal strike and its fun to make a 300000 hp total battle go down to like. 6 hits

💀 hardest boss battle?

besides the first gattuso def the cameos in the tag team battle... how many times have i gotten barbatos almost dead before he gets healed and my healers get sealed... then stressing about the time left for the party battle im sick of it im SICK 

✨ favourite mystic arte?

raven’s wink in crisis rain it’d be wolf fury if not for the rare time i can get seifer with summon friends

🎉 any victory quotes that stand out to you?

“our weapons are love!” “justice!” “sexualityyyyy” “WOULD YOU STOP” 

and besides that i love patty’s “the queen of the seas has arrived!” and yuri and flynn’s fistbump bc those are cute 

🥰 favourite NPC?

i didn’t really have any for this game?? like i much prefer the PCs but also... gauche and droite hold a special place in my heart, and nan won me over with her development. also yeager. kakyoin lookin ass

🧥 favourite outfits?

yuri: true knight + the hairpins attachment. i’d die for the ponytail

estelle: her default is actually my fave, but heroic actress for the ristelle

repede: not an outfit but overdrive brigade or bust

karol: warehouse master! i love the jacket

rita: seeker. its what she deserves

raven: that summer guy bc his hair in that has me 😳 and also adept assassin

judith: draconic lancer or glamourous maid... i am not immune to hot girl

patty: pirate queen bc its what she deserves

flynn: benevolent beneficiary and its soley because of the thigh holster

👕 least favourite outfits?

whoever decided on yuri’s yumanju/swim outfits needs to be JAILED... miska doctoral degree and the frog outfit and sultry temptress and dont get me started on the xmas and samurai ones 

🎥 favourite skit?

POINTS SKIT POINTS SKIT

❤️ did you ship any characters?

from the moment rita blushed at estelle i was hooked on them... also yuri/flynn is like. too canon to not love. also raven/literally anyone except karol (son) and rita (lesbian)

💔 any ships you don’t like?

yuri/estelle and flynn/estelle bc i can’t stomach her not being a rita im not even joking 

🏥 what healer do you use most?

raven! i usually don’t need more than a few love shots and i have more than enough items to make up for the lack of recovery spells

🗺 most enjoyed side quest / side quest chain?

do i even have to say best friends? and the sicily ones are pretty fun and i also like seeing nan in the hunting blades ones

🤢 most annoying side quest / side quest chain?

FUCK GUILD QUEST ALL MY HOMIES HATE GUILD QUEST

🔪 what difficulty do you play on most often?

normal for now sjvbksdvjbs i plan on doing hard next tho

💯 solo coliseum fights or tag team coliseum fights?

tag team bc i love fighting the others! i usually bring raven but by god do i love rita and schwann’s dialogue in the knights fight

➕ have you played the EX new game plus?

not yet! i’ll be doing that for the mid-hundreds levels tho 

🔨 are there any weapons you always keep equipped?

meteorite blade and defender for yuri, strike eagle +1a and misericorde for raven, holy avenger for estelle, beserker heart for flynn, song of gaia for rita, brionac for judith, and leoluca + black thunder for patty

🗣 do you play dubbed or subbed?

dubbed

🎮 which is your favourite minigame (warehouse, draspi, snowboarding, poker, dragon rider)?

fuck minigames but gun to my head i had to pick one it’d be poker bc the mechanics make sense

🗡 yuri or flynn?

sorry king but it’s yuri for this one yall had me with the vigilantism 

👑 ioder or estelle?

estelle obvs tho ioder is def the better choice for emperor

🏹 raven or schwann?

raven bc hes a thot and not a bootlicker but id be lying if i said schwann couldnt get it

👯‍♀️ gauche or droite?

gauche 

💪 hunting blades or leviathan’s claw?

leviathan’s claw! even if the hunting blades werent awful i’d still pick them bc i love LOVE the serpent’s fang lore and how the guild itself is linked to patty’s backstory and also. also yeager. 

🏠 zaphias or dahngrest?

dahngrest! i truly cannot stand the empire imagine living there

🏕 inns or camping?

inns 100% i will go so far out of my way to make them share rooms rather than camping which is so so boring 

👾 original or definitive edition?

definitive! its the only one ive played, i love patty too much to ever play the og, and being available on the switch is so good

🎢 what difficulty do you play on?

oh my god. oh my god i put this question in twice FUCK

💿 have you played any other tales games?

not yet :-( i love this one too much to change tho i do have beseria bought and ready to go

👬 have you watched first strike?

not yet :-(((( i havent found it anywhere yet but i heard raven’s in it and im. im

⏱ how long have you spent on the game?

....190 hours and counting.....

🗻 what part of the game are you at right now?

working through the 200 man melees now! once i finish those (ive only got yuri and raven done so far)

✅ how did you decide to start playing?

1 i heard it was similar to octopath 2 i thought it was turn based going into it SKJSBDVKSJDVB 3 saw a gif of yuri and flynn on here somewhere and thought aw shit guess i’ll start this game if there’s an active fandom (NOT THAT THERE’S MUCH OF ONE) 4 the game was on sale sdbksdvjbksdjv

[artemis-entreri]

[[ This post contains Part 6 of my review/analysis of the Forgotten Realms/Drizzt novel, Boundless, by R. A. Salvatore. As such, the entirety of this post’s content is OOC. ]]

Genre: Fantasy

Series: Generations: Book 2 | Legend of Drizzt #35 (#32 if not counting The Sellswords)

Publisher: Harper Collins (September 10, 2019)

My Rating: 2 out of 5 stars

Additional Information: Artwork for the cover of Boundless and used above is originally done by Aleks Melnik. This post CONTAINS SPOILERS. Furthermore, this discussion concerns topics that I am very passionate about, and as such, at times I do use strong language. Read and expand the cut at your own discretion.

Contents:

Introduction

I. Positives I.1 Pure Positives I.2 Muddled Positives

II. Mediocre Writing Style II.1 Bad Descriptions II.2 Salvatorisms II.3 Laborious “Action”

III. Poor Characterization III.1 “Maestro” III.2 Lieutenant III.3 Barbarian III.4 “Hero” III.5 Mother

IV. World Breaks IV.1 Blinders Against the Greater World IV.2 Befuddlement of Earth and Toril IV.3 Self-Inconsistency IV.4 Dungeon Amateur IV.5 Utter Nonsense

V. Ego Stroking V.1 The Ineffable Companions of the Hall V.2 Me, Myself, and I

VI. Problematic Themes (you are here) VI.1 No Homo VI.2 Disrespect of Women VI.3 Social-normalization VI.4 Eugenics

VII. What’s Next VII.1 Drizzt Ascends to Godhood VII.2 Profane Redemption VII.3 Passing the Torch VII.4 Don’t Notice Me Senpai

Problematic Themes

No Homo

Boundless continues to perpetuate some long-standing regressive to outright harmful ideas, as well as introducing new ones. There are two that are the biggest. The first is something that's existed for over two decades in the Drizzt books, and something that I've criticized Salvatore for for a long time: the fetishization of sapphic relationships. While Boundless is an improvement (and a bit of an oddity for Salvatore) in that it doesn't include any gratuitous lesbian sex scenes or allusions, it still very much perpetuates an imbalanced representation, such that it wouldn't be fair to describe it as true representation. Yet again, despite it being canon that the default sexuality in the Realms is pansexuality as opposed to heterosexuality in our world, the only people that we see in Boundless that are capable of same sex attractions are female. Ever since the token gay guy Afrafrenfere's epiphany that everything else he'd been engaged in, which includes his deceased boyfriend, was a distraction from enlightenment, there hasn't been so much of an implication that men could be attracted to other men in Salvatore's Realms. There exists more chemistry between Harbonair and Zaknafein than between Zaknafein and Dab'nay, which is rather sad given that the latter pair are actively sexual with each other. There's of course the possibility that Salvatore just doesn't know how to write gay male chemistry, but to be fair, his heterosexual chemistry is pretty bad. Most of it is just sex or another physical act spontaneously happening that triggers a change in the nature of the relationship, for instance, the start of the relationship between Entreri and Calihye. There's so much background "everyone is heterosexual" stuff going on that to be inclusive, Salvatore just needs to mention that there's more than one man in an orgy rather than it always being one man to many women. Or, better yet, use an example directly from the world canon that other authors have used, namely, that the workers of a brothel or attendants in a temple of Sune are of more than one gender and that a male client is greeted by both male, female, and other gender-identifying attendants. Casual inclusion of this nature isn't difficult, and we see Salvatore do it with sapphic stuff enough that leads me to believe that it's a choice on his part not to be fully inclusive. 

An example of when Salvatore could've gone for inclusion, but instead went for fetishization, is in the scene of Dahlia infiltrating a Waterdhavian nobles' ball:

This isn't much better than gratuitous lesbian sex scenes at the total exclusion of gay men. It's completely unnecessary for Salvatore to have specified that women also drooled after Dahlia; simply stating "people" would've been sufficient. It's not like Salvatore doesn't have many chances and setups where he can drop a hint that gay men exist in the Realms like he does so frequently for gay women. Oftentimes, Salvatore's writing feels very much like he realizes that there's "too much" chemistry between two male characters, such that he has to throw in a "NO HOMO" wrench. For instance:

While there isn't anything inherently gay in this passage, there isn't anything inherently gay in so many places where Salvatore artificially injected "these women are sapphic" indicators. Yet here, between two male characters, it's specifically clarified that it's brotherly love. Love is love, it shouldn't have to be clarified like this. Sure, some people might jump to romantic love, but so what? This was a good opportunity to at the very least, leave it vague, but apparently Salvatore can't stomach it enough that he has to cross the possibility out with a bold black marker (maybe its the same sharpie he uses on the tapestry of Faerûn). It's as though the possibility of romantic love between two men somehow taints the sacredness of their bond. Salvatore's writing style is very old-fashioned and set in its ways, but that's no excuse not to change. Despite his espoused views on social media, Salvatore's lack of representation in his writing suggests a discomfort that he doesn't want to address. This is increasingly problematic as we try to push to a better world with more acceptance and equality. Inclusion isn't truly inclusion if it's done with only a portion of the population. 

Disrespect of Women

What Salvatore does with sapphic women is fetishization, which is additionally problematic because it's a short hop from objectification of women. This point is one that I haven't touched on much in the past, but it's glaring in Boundless because in this novel, Salvatore also tries to demonstrate respect of women. Salvatore has a long history of poorly-written female characters. In his books, a female character's most redeeming characteristics were that she was hot and young. For a while, I could tell which female characters were there to stay, which were doomed to die from the get-go, and which would suffer horribly as they met their inevitable end. It always had to do with how physically attractive the character was, and usually with respect to how she measured up to Catti-brie's beauty. Not counting female villains like Sheila Kree who were not coincidentally unattractive, protagonist characters weren't spared this treatment. For instance, Delly Curtie didn't hold a candle to Catti and could barely find happiness with Catti's rejected suitor. By the same token, Innovindil, who, despite being a full-blooded elf, wasn't as beautiful as Catti, and was subsequently very short-lived. Dahlia, another full-blooded elf who wasn't as beautiful as Catti, admittedly didn't die (yet), but what she went through is arguably worse. Dahlia is portrayed to be very much second best to Catti, from her looks to her rejection by Drizzt to Catti outright beating Dahlia in a fight. So, of course, Dahlia gets stuck with Entreri, who's frequently portrayed as second best to Drizzt. Salvatore does deserve credit for trying to break the mold with Penelope Harpell and Wulfgar, but Penelope's appearance doesn't leave much of an impression. We're reminded multiple times that she's an older woman, and the focus is on her personality, but with how often younger female characters' physical appearance is mentioned and re-mentioned, it gives the impression that Salvatore doesn't believe older women can be physically attractive. As always, Catti-brie was an exception to the rule, for even in her mid-forties, "her form, a bit thicker with age, perhaps, but still so beautiful and inviting to [Drizzt]", a characterization that follows another sentence describing how beautiful she was barely a page prior. But we don't hear such about Penelope, instead, we're told about the strengths of her personality, which are admirable, but only become the focus for her, rather than for a young-appearing strong female character like Yvonnel the Second. This is not to mention that someone's form probably shouldn't be characterized as inviting, as that is something the person should do, not something done by the person's looks. The objectification of women is problematic enough on its own, but instead of addressing the issue, Salvatore appears to consider it sufficient to put in a significant anecdote featuring a temporary character to prove that he is an ally to women. The mysterious "demon" possessing the little girl Sharon is painted as a moral adjudicator, entrapping the evil in its unbreakable cocoons filled with wasps that have human faces. Before this "demon" entraps Entreri, it ensnares an old man, whom we're simply told is an old lecher, with no insight about what makes him such and what wrongdoings he'd committed. All we know is that he and his wife attempted to kidnap Sharon and threatened to kill her if she resisted. It's not very clear what's going on in that scenario or what the couple's intentions were. The man's description shifts suddenly from nothing to "old lecher", and he is damned to an eternity of suffering. But how was he a lecher? Was Salvatore trying to imply that he intended to sexually assault Sharon? Or was human trafficking one of his many sins, with the "lecher" part referring to how he is towards women? While all of these crimes certainly warrant harsh punishment, the message that Salvatore's trying to convey isn't clear. Furthermore, the anecdote gives the reader zero satisfaction in the guy's punishment, because we're only marginally invested in what's happened. His anecdote is nothing more than a cheap and lazy setup to illustrate what the "demon" can do.

Social-normalization

The second of the two worst among Salvatore's long-standing problematic themes is the simplified and social-normative qualifications of what makes a person worthwhile. To put it simply, one is good and just if they are the Companions of the Hall and/or act like them, despite the many many ways that the Companions behave unheroically and hypocritically. On the flip side, one who doesn't subscribe to or follow the model of the Companions is evil, bad, or not worthy of existence unless they change to become like the Companions. Of the latter group, it isn't sufficient to change to become a different version of themselves. For instance, during the demonic assault, Zaknafein throws himself into the fray of battle, risking his life, yet again, for his ungrateful son. Yet, Drizzt's takeaway from watching his father do this is, "joy to see his father so willingly risking his life for the cause of the goodly folk of the Crags". There appears to be a subconscious inconsistency here on Salvatore's part, for he even writes that Zaknafein helps the dwarves because Zaknafein knows it's what his son wants him to do, so removing Drizzt from the picture, Zaknafein wouldn't be doing it solely on behalf of the dwarves. Zaknafein isn't Drizzt, and that's a good thing, for not everything needs to be a Drizzt clone, but Salvatore doesn't seem to agree with that assessment. 

Salvatore doesn't seem to realize that Drizzt is the problematic one. Boundless represents a point in time in which it's been awhile since Zaknafein has returned. During this time, while Zaknafein has been trying to adapt and adjust his worldviews, Drizzt's perspective hasn't changed at all, despite Jarlaxle spending a great amount of time talking to him about Zaknafein and presumably helping Drizzt get past the initial emotional turmoil of the return of Zaknafein and his own struggles with reconciling the past and the present. There's also a double-standard here, for while Entreri is forced to change because enough time has gone by, Drizzt isn't. 

It really seems to be the message that the only characters that are good and valid need to be as close to Drizzt as possible, and this belief applied to Entreri has been the cause of the assassin's increasingly poor characterization. Entreri has become a "better person" by the narrator's approximation, a quality that is, yet again, not coincidentally synonymous to being an ally to the Companions of the Hall. Artemis Entreri may very well have become a better version of himself, but that is not, and should not be, becoming more like the Companions of the Hall. By whose definition is "a better person" anyway? By Drizzt's? By the Companions'? It's often the case that those that believe that they are the definition of what's right and define others' morality relative to themselves are the least qualified to do so. 

Eugenics

Although not as prominent as the two themes already mentioned, one final consistent problematic theme of Salvatore's in the Drizzt books that I'd like to discuss is the idea that mediocrity and excellence are inherited traits. Boundless reminds us yet again that all of the offspring of Rizzen are as unpromising as he is, and while it isn't specifically stated that all the offspring of Zaknafein is very much otherwise, we have over thirty books basically telling us that so it probably doesn't need to be repeated. While it is true that genetics do play a role in determining what makes up a person, genetics do not lock in guaranteed results. Yet, the undistinguished Rizzen sired "the mediocrity of Nalfein", and as though that insult wasn't bad enough, "His pants fell down, too. Again, and as expected, unimpressive." Dinin "would do Rizzen proud", but that's not saying a whole lot because it was in the context of the total failure of Nalfein. There's a further level of problematic theme here, for perpetuating the stereotype that a man's worth is at all related to the size of his genitalia. All of that aside, not everyone is privileged enough to be born to top specimens, and those that weren't inherently already have a struggle on their hands. They don't deserve to have the idea that they'll be mediocre no matter what perpetuated. Genetics might be what makes an individual, but what defines them is the actions that they take.

[fantasyfandommaiden]

ML Counsellor AU: Nathalie Sancoeur’s begining And divergence

In one universe, Nathalie Sancoeur, had no close friends in university, joined no clubs, focused solely on graduating top of her class and getting a job, where she would eventually work for Gabriel Agreste as his assistant. In this universe, she still did not join any clubs, still graduated top of class, and still became Gabriel Agreste’s assistant, however, she did get one very close friend. This is the story of how one little event changed Nathalie Sanoeur, hopefully for the better

Introduction

Nathalie had requested to have her own room upon her acceptance into her first choice of university. She knew that her request could be denied, but she had high hopes they would accept it, and she would have her own room to study in in peace.

Those hopes were quickly squished upon entering her dorm room to see a woman already in there, unpacking her clothes into one of the two drawer units. She had dark red hair that was in a high ponytail, and wore worn out blue jeans and a plain white tee shirt with a dark grey sweater tied around her waist.

The woman looked at Nathalie with her green hazel eyes and gave a warm smile “Oh, hello! You must be my roommate!” Nathalie noticed she had a slight accent when she spoke French, guessing she wasn’t actually from France. The woman held out her hand and smiled “My name is Carmine. Carmine Regal!”

Nathalie looked at the hand momentarily before letting out an internal sigh, taking it weakly and giving it a small shake. So much for having a peaceful university experience, maybe she was lucky and this girl was at least quiet and not a party animal. “Nathalie Sancoeur.”

Bonding

Nathalie had been lucky it seemed, and her roommate was indeed fairly quiet and wasn’t the type to come bursting into the room at four o’clock in the morning, drunk off her ass and making a huge racket. She did sometimes come in late at night, but she was alway fairly quiet and simply got dressed in the dark before going to bed.

Nathalie simply referred to the woman as ‘Regal’ to avoid the other woman from getting overly familiar with her. She came here to get top marks, graduate at the top of her class and get a good job, not to make friends and get distracted. (She in turn referred to Nathalie as ‘Sancoeur’).

In all honesty, the first time the two woman had a proper conversation didn’t come til roughly half way through the first semester, when Nathalie was honestly on her way to a nervous breakdown.

She had three major assignments due, one of which was due in two days, which honestly did not feel like enough time. She was running on five hours of sleep (for the entire week), as well as nothing but coffee and protein bars.

Regal, who remained quiet about this for the longest time, finally put her foot down.

“Get up.” She commanded to Nathalie who was slumped in her desk, desperately writing away at her notes for her essay.

“Not now Regal.”

“Yes, now Sancoeur.” Regal insisted, sitting down on Nathalie’s desk to look at her “Your going to have a nervous break down, and possibly pass out due to lack of sleep, food and just overall stress. You need a break, and some real food.” The woman said to Nathalie, who continued to glare at her. “An hour, that’s all I ask. Come out with me for an hour, have some food at a diner, drink some water, relax for a bit. One hour, and I’ll leave you alone.”

“Look Regal.” Nathalie said, looking at the red haired woman with a stern glare “I’ve got three reports to finish, one of which is due in two days. There is nothing you can say, or do that will make me leave this chair.”

Said red haired woman gave Nathalie her famous deadpanned stare before replying in a dull tone. “Your out of coffee.”

“...”

“...”

“... you get one hour.”

~~~~~

Connecting

The two woman went to a small diner about a ten minute walk from the university, and sat down. Regal insisted that she pay, and told Nathalie to order whatever she wanted.

Nathalie... hadn’t realized how hungry she was until she smelled all the different scents of food, and her stomach lurked violently for food. She ordered a simple salad at first, only for Regal to give her a glare, and she than ordered a salad with a hamburger and fries, as well as a large milkshake.

Regal had ordered a tomato soup with grilled cheese, and a glass of ice tea. Once the waitress left, Nathalie sat in her seat and looked out the window at nothing, her mind still on the endless things she had to do once this hour was up. She was going to leave once this hour was up, whether she was finished her meal or not, one glance at the clock told her that an hour from now would be 7:24.

Her gaze turned back to the window, her mind on that damn essay due in two days when Regal spoke softly so that only Nathalie could hear.

“He is writing out a contract for an assassin to kill his worst enemy.” The red haired woman said softly.

Nathalie’s head whipped towards Regal so fast she almost had whiplash. “Wait-What-where’ve?!” She said, her mind in a panic.

“Shh!” Regal said “Not so loud, you’ll draw attention to us!” She said, before descretly gesturing towards a man who was furiously writing away on a piece of paper, before crumbling up the paper and trying again.

“... or he’s mad about some work assignment, and can’t get the right word.” Nathalie said in a dull tone, rolling her eyes.

Regal shook her head, smiling “Well, obviously he is, but where is the fun in that?” She asked, smiling mischievously. “This is a game I play with some of the people in my program, we call it ‘Story Time’. We pick a random bystander we see, observe one random thing they are doing and than make an outlandish story about them.” She grinned widely “You try it!”

“This sounds childish, and I refuse.” Nathalie said in an even, bored tone.

“Why? Afraid you’ll be no good?” Regal asked, still grinning mischievously.

Nathalie’s eye twitched, before sighing, figuring the fastest way to stop her roommate from speaking is to actually play along.

She looked back at the man furiously writing away “He’s not writing out how he wants the assassin to kill his worst enemy, he’s...” her mind was drawing a blank, this seemed to be harder than she thought “Writing out... his best mans speech.” She said lamely, feeling stupid having said it.

Regal just continued to smile “Oh yeah?” She said in an encouraging tone “Why does he look so pissed than?”

“Because....” her mind was racing, trying to think of why someone would be mad about writing a best mans speech “The groom... is marrying the love of his life, but he’s too nice to say anything?” She said, more in the form of a question than an answer.

Regal smiled widely “Oh man, that would suck.” She said letting out a soft chuckle. She glanced out the window, and both woman saw a man running by at full blast wearing an old duster jacket. Nathalie didn’t get a good look at the man however. “Why is he in such a hurry?”

“Running away from the woman he just proposed to because he found out she was a black widow.” Nathalie said, causing Regal to look at her shocked. Nathalie froze “I-I thought we were still playing-“

“That is dark... I love it!” Regal said, looking around “Okay, my turn, pick someone for me!”

Nathalie blinked slowly, before a small, almost invisible smile spread across her face “Okay... how about...”

~~~~

They continued to the game even after they finished their food, Nathalie didn’t realize it was almost ten o’clock at night, well past the time she said she would leave at. The man in the duster jacket ran up to both of them, they were still sitting at the same booth now having a cup of coffee, Nathalie recognized the man instantly as her professor, who informed her that the submission date was wrong and the essay she thought was due on the first (two days from now) was actually due on the seventh.

Part of Nathalie wanted to go back and finish her assignments, and get some sleep, but she looked at her roommate, who hadn’t said a word since her professor left about a minute ago. She was contented drinking her cup of tea.

Nathalie didn’t need to continue her thought about going back to finish her assignments.

“Hey Re.... Carmine, do I lose a point if it turns out he wasn’t being chased by a black widow?”

~~~~~~

Transformation

Nathalie’s personality doesn’t really change much from how it was at the start of her university life. She was still fairly serious, and didn’t show much expression. She thrived on efficiency, and hated disorder and chaos.

Some things however did change. Her sarcastic sense of humour would sometimes shine through, surprising those who didn’t know her. She made a small group of friends, thanks to Carmine, and they all played dungeons and dragons together once every other week.

After doing some soul searching, she found that she identified as a biromantic lesbian, she also found out that Carmine identified as bisexual, although she had a preference towards males.

She realized she had romantic feelings for her best friend, however quickly squashed that feeling. She may not be able to read people like Carmine could, but she could tell that any feelings she had for her were purely platonic, and she wouldn’t change that for the world.

~~~~~

Morals and Obligations

She still graduated at the top of her class, with honours. She still found work right away after graduating, working at Gabriel where she would eventually become the personal assistant of both Mr. and Madame Agreste. She would than be the care taker of Adrien once his mother disappeared, and she would go through hell and fire to keep him safe. She had grown fond of the boy in her charge, even if she never outwardly showed it, she was still professional... but if she went behind Gabriel’s back a few times so Adrien could be a kid once in awhile, she made sure he never found out and no one was the wiser.

So when Gabriel chose to become Hawkmoth, Nathalie’s morals screamed at her to quit and report him to the authorities... than she heard his reason, to bring his wife out of her coma. So they could be a family again.

So, she made a promise to herself. She would stay, she would comply with her bosses plans, but she would never give any input unless it affected Adrien. She was there for Adrien, and no one else.

She also made something very clear to Gabriel, if his plans ever endangered Adrien, or if he ever even attempted to Akumatize her friends, especially Carmine, he would find out why you should never cross her.

[thedistrictsleepsalonetonight]

There was a girl, and I accidentally fell in love Chapter 1: It was summer when I saw your face, looked like a teenage runaway

You know how sometimes in the movies the first scene is the climax, and then the protagonist goes “To explain how all of this happened, I’ll have to take you back a few months, back to where Blah-and-blah did bleh-and-bleh, and consequently, I’m here”?  

Well, here I am, up on stage on Prom night, in front of a huge crowd of students, holding the hugest Teddy Bear in my right hand, an extremely colorful bouquet of flowers in my left, and just about to start declaring my undying love for the prettiest girl in the world, and I bet you’re wondering how I ended up like this.

Would you believe me if I told you it wasn’t my fault?

Probably not. You shouldn’t, that is. A lot of this story happened because I was an idiot, an insensitive idiot, a stupid insensitive idiot, and other unflattering descriptions of me that you will probably hear from my friends’ mouths. But I will say this: it did not start with me. I was not responsible for kicking over the first domino that resulted in this clusterfuck of lives in National City High crashing down on top of each other. That person, was Lex.

See, the thing is, despite all of it, I still love him. He’s my brother, no matter how much of an asshole he is. He likes starting fires and he can be terribly mean, but he’s always been sweet to me. He is the closest thing I have to a loving home, seeing as my real one consists of a Basilisk for a mother, and a ghost for a father. He’s the reason I am up at the very top of the food chain at school. His Jock-reputation carried over to me, and made it easier for me to not only survive, but thrive. I am Lena Luthor, sister of Lex Luthor, and life, is easy for me. I wouldn’t go as far as claiming that people threw flowers at my feet when I walked down the corridors, or that they bowed whenever I passed by, but it is true that I was untouchable. Even the fact that I was a lesbian didn’t get me any bullying. One stare from Lex and his huge biceps was enough to stop any in its tracks.

All in all, Lex is a pretty good brother. The only character flaw he possibly has is his utter loathing of Clark Kent.

That brings us to Clark Kent. Charming nerd. The best actor in our school. Voted Student with the most beautiful eyes in the world two years in a row. Falls in the category of Not Exactly Popular but Everyone Lowkey Likes Him. And the arch-enemy of Lex Luthor.

Nobody knows how it started. Rumor has it Clark once made the winning catch in their Little League team, and Lex hated him getting the attention. Rumor also has it that it started when Clark got to play Superman in the school play, back in fifth grade, winning the part from Lex, who had been harboring dreams of playing a superhero since, well, forever. People say a lot of things, but nobody knows exactly why they hated each other so much, me included. Every time I’d ask Lex about it, he’d smirk it off, and distract me with something else, and after a while, I gave up on asking, and accepted it as one of the enigmas of National City High.

Either way, that was the relevant bit of backstory that was needed for you to understand this entire sordid tale of romance. It all started when Lex Luthor opened his mouth, during lunch, and asked who the girl trailing behind Clark was.

Imagine the scene. It’s lunch. There’s a lot of people milling about, eating. People talk about the classes they have attended, the classes they have yet to attend, the teachers who made an idiot out of themselves and the ones who made idiots of the students. I was sitting at the table with the most Popularity per square area in the cafeteria, with my brother at my side, Sam sitting in front of me, juggling two apples, while Jack sat next to her, frantically completing his AP Math homework. Half of the football team players with their cheerleader girlfriends filled up the rest of the chairs

“Look at them,” Lex mused, biting thoughtfully at a Tater Tot “High School hierarchy in action. The geeks sit with the geeks, talking about Star Trek or Dungeons and Dragons or whatever the fuck they’re on these days.”

Settlers of Catan, I thought, but keep my mouth shut.

“There are the less-popular cheerleaders, the AV club nightmare freaks, the Glee club rapping like idiots, and there he is, the King of the assholes himself.”

I looked up to see Clark Kent walked into the room, and five of his fan girls trail behind him, swooning and giggling. I rolled my eyes at them, but I had to admit, I did see the appeal. He had that Lord of the Nerds thing going on, with his glasses and a pen tucked into his perfectly ironed shirt, and every straight girl in the college had, at least once in their life, been charmed by his smile. But that wasn’t what was bugging Lex today.

“Who is that?” he nudged my side, bringing me back from where I had been staring into space.

“Who?”

“That girl, behind Kent,” he told me, impatiently.

I saw Alex Danvers, stomping past all the annoying girls, looking as though she was just about one hair away from ripping everyone in her immediate vicinity apart.

“That’s Alex, dude,” Sam told Lex before I could open my mouth.

“No, you idiot,” he muttered. He took my head between both his hands, and physically turned it “Look. There.”

It took me a minute, and then I saw her.

You know those movies where guys see the girl, and it’s like a light bulb goes off in their heads, or violins start playing in the background, and the world slows down? It definitely didn’t happen for me. She was pretty. Blonde hair, tied up in a ponytail, large glasses over her face, and a humongous pile of books in her hands, she did the opposite of stand out.  She seemed to be in deep thought, and as we watched, tapped Alex’s shoulder to tell her something.

“That’s Kara,” Jack spoke up, suddenly, and all three of us turned to him “She’s in AP English with me. She’s Alex’s sister.”

“Since when does Alex Danvers have a sister?” Lex asked.

“Since her parents adopted Kara,” he said, then sighed at our dumbfounded faces “It’s like none of you have any idea what’s up.”

“Start. Speaking. Now,” Lex growled at him.

“So she is Clark’s cousin, and she’s apparently very tight with him, because her parents, the Danvers’ and the Clarks were really close. Her parents got into a car accident when she was young, and she’s been brought up by the Danvers ever since, and she was studying in some private school until now. She just transferred here.”

“How did we not know Alex had an adopted sister?” I wondered aloud.

“Because she’s Alex Danvers. Nobody knows anything about her.”

I nodded, and closed my eyes, topic already forgotten in my head. But Lex apparently wasn’t.

“Did you say she was close to Clark?” he demanded of Jack.

“Yes?”

I opened my eyes when I heard him chuckle. It wasn’t his nice chuckle. This spelled more doom than anything else.

“So hurting her would be hurting him?”

“Lex,” I warned him “Please don’t tell me you’re planning on killing a person. Because I will not approve.”

“No, no,” he rushed to reassure me “But think of how devastated he’d be if someone from Lex’s circle dated her and then broke her heart.”

There was a beat of silence, then both Sam and I chucked the objects in our hands at him simultaneously. Lex ducked both a pen, and a half-eaten apple.

“What?” he asked, bewildered.

“Nothing,” I said, and walked away.

**********

Now, in a perfect world, that would have been the end of matters. Not this one, though.

I’m still not sure what it was exactly that triggered both of them, but I got out of Physics just in time for a random kid to come running up to me and show me a video of Clark punching the lights out of Lex. I watched it for half a minute, and then I was off and running towards the principal’s office. They were both sitting outside, Lex bleeding from his nose, Clark with a black eye, already done with Principal Cat, by the looks of it. I heard my mother’s rising voice from inside and winced.

“She called Lillian, huh?”

Lex mumbled something that sounded close to an affirmation. From the corner of my eye, I saw Clark scowl at us, and move even further away.

I asked Lex what had happened, whispering the question to him.

“I don’t know,” he shrugged, eyes still burning with righteous fury “But I hate him. God damn it, I hate him so much. I cannot walk this earth without having revenge.”

Well. That’s drama.

His voice had started rising, so I calmed him down by rubbing his back “I know, I know. Calm down, okay?”

He turned to look at me “Please tell me you’d do that?”

“Do what?”

“That thing I was talking about earlier.”

It suddenly clicked and I started shaking my head vigorously “Lex, no, no , that’s…..”

“Please, please, please, Lena,” he implored “I’ll do anything for you, I’ll……..I’ll get you that trip!”

I paused. There had been this science competition coming up in a city nearby, and I had an idea for a great project lined up, but Lillian, being mother of the year, had no intentions of letting me go.

“You can’t,” I told him “There’s no way you can convince her to let me go.”

“Lena,” he told me back, just as seriously “If there is anyone in the world who can convince her, it is her Golden Boy, aka me.”

I took fifteen minutes “Three or four dates. There will be no prank. No humiliation. I’ll just call it quits before it gets serious. But I’m serious, Lex, no humiliation.”

“Eh, I’ll take care of the rest,” he said which didn’t really sound promising, but I convinced myself I’d just break it up before she developed feelings for me. And it was a very good possibility she wouldn’t even want to date me. That would leave me off the hook.

“We have a deal,” I admitted, grudgingly, and he wrapped me up in a tight hug.