#because i want to believe in the good faith of people but
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It's all about control, and about making people dependent on their religious leaders for guidance and salvation. The more you can make people think that they're Bad for their natural thoughts and urges, the more desperate they become for reassurance and forgiveness - and the more likely they are to start dropping a bit more in the collection plate.
There is value in teaching a reasonable amount of temperance, like 'don't do this pleasurable thing so much that it interferes with your life - and if you can't stop yourself, then it'd be good to take a look at why that is and try to address it.'
But that kind of temperance isn't sensational enough. Organized religion loves their extremes. If people are simply content, they're less likely to throw their whole body and soul into their religion. Make them desperate from self-denial, get them frenzied with a sensational performance, convince them that they've been helped by the Lord in some way, and now you have a faithful follower who will give you their last breath.
Sometimes I think about how in the times of knights and crusades, it was considered your duty to your God to go off to battle for your King. If you're a peasant who genuinely believes that your King is on the throne because of a divine mandate, then what choice do you really have when you're recruited and told to march off to battle? You don't want to defy the will of God, do you?
Again, it comes back to control. We even see the 'King' effect today, in the USA, as people practically worship Trump to the point of thinking he's the second coming of Jesus. And nobody even had to threaten them at swordpoint to make them believe it. That's the scariest part, I think, is that many people seem to want to be religiously controlled. Probably because they believe that's the easiest way to ensure that they'll be saved.
You see it all the time with Prosperity Gospel preachers. People are willing to give up their entire life savings because they think some guy is capable of giving spring water (which is probably just tap water anyway) miraculous properties.
I consider myself a spiritual person, but I avoid organized religion like the plague. Prosperity Gospel makes me sick, as does the overly performative religious proselytizing that we're starting to see on TikTok and similar. If that shit isn't taking the Lord's name in vain, I don't know what is. And it's all in the name of control - gaining adoration, gaining money, gaining influence.
Spirituality is supposed to set you free, not put you in shackles. Especially not when the key is held by some mortal who isn't any better than you are. Spirituality should be for the individual's personal growth - not as a weapon to harm and exploit others with.
The most insidious part is that it's not even a weapon you have to wield for very long. When you can make a person feel shame just for being alive, all you have to do is give them the sword and convince them to fall on it. And most people have a very hard time getting back up. Many of them never do.
not to be anti-religious but i do wonder if teaching children that they are innately flawed and sinful is, perhaps, not a healthy worldvi
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If I say that I'm not used to people misinterpreting my favorite characters, I'd be lying. But the way they get so many things wrong about Inho's character is kinda pissing me off because you KNOW that most of them do it to cancel out the possibility of InHun being *something* more than what's shown so far. You don't ship them, that's fair, frankly I don't care. Everyone's entitled to their own opinion UNTIL your opinion is wrong.
Let's talk about a couple of things I've seen being talked about on tiktok (đ)
âInho joined the games because ilnam said that it'd basically be more fun to play than to watch so he followed his example." loud incorrect buzzer ! Inho has joined the games before, and not only that, he's also a previous winner, so therefore he's very much aware of what it's like to be a part of it, he's experienced them first hand, just like he's experienced the atrocities of it. they've changed him for the worst and possibly caused him a huge trauma âthey're the reason he's lost faith in humanity after allâ so, why would he crave to relive it just for the thrill of it? i, personally doubt he even enjoys watching the game.
âInho didn't look at Gihun with love, he likes to watch him sufferâ Short answer is no. He doesn't like to watch him suffer, neither he looked at him with love, not the pure kind of love at least. Two things can be true at once. Inho spent half the season staring at Gihun because everything about the man intrigued him; His determination, his stubbornness, his kindness, his hope, his heart that's full of love despite the pain he suffered, even the pain in his eyes every time someone got eliminated in front of him as if it was the first time it had happened, as if the cruelty of it all surprised him every damn time. How can someone, who's been through the same things Inho has been through, be the polar opposite of him?
now, the reason(s) that I think Inho actually joined the games for..
(yes I am an Inhun shipper, does that make my opinion a little biased? maybe. do i still believe I'm right? absofuckinglutely.)
Let me clarify this: Inho is NOT a good man, no matter the redemption arc he might get in s3, he'll continue to be a terrible person because nothing will ever erase the blood he's spilled and the evil men he's worked for. BUT at the same time, he's not ALL bad, not like the VIPS and ilnam. See, Inhun are the average "yin-yang" trope in fictional romance, (which I eat up every time and I find it very interesting when it's done the right way, don't get me wrong) Inho is bad but there's some goodness somewhere deep inside him. And the only person who's brought it to the surface is Gihun. Sure, he does think Gihun is naive, but he's also the only person who's actually challenged him, who's "forced" him to get his stupid head out of the dirt and look around him, even for a short while and Inho definitely liked what he saw. Honestly, it wasn't even that hard for Gihun to do so because the goodness in Inho wanted and waited for someone to pull him out of the dirt, he wished for someone, something to give him hope for humanity or.. anything. Anything that'll help him escape from his misery.
You can definitely argue that he joined the games to befriend Gihun, to gain his trust and stop his plans when the time comes, which is half true. But keep in mind that he needed to justify his choice to join the games. He's not a VIP nor the mastermind to simply get to do that without consequences. He's the frontman, the one who controls and manages everything. He's needed for the games to work and go by smoothly and successfully without unnecessary losses and problems. Gihun would only cause problems, Inho knew that very well and yet he chose to put him in it once again. He recklessly made that choice, risking pretty much everything because of his inner conflict. A part of him wanted Gihun to prove himself to him, that there's indeed good that'll save the world and the rest of him wanted to prove to Gihun that everything he so strongly believes in is merely a fantasy.
Joining the games and befriending Gihun was the only way for Inho to see the real him, without the heroic mask he puts on every time he faces the frontman. I think he believed that someone as extraordinary as Gihun will either break in front of him and he will end up disappointed by the human kind once again, or Gihun will change everything about the way he thinks for the better. But the problem is that Inho hopes for both of those things at the same time.
And that was Inho's arc in season 2. His inner conflict and how it will affect him, the game and Gihun later on.
#i hope this makes sense#english is not my first language so i apologize for any grammatic errors#anyway I'd love to hear your thoughts as well just be nice#inhun#squid game#squid game 2#457#player 456#player 001#frontman#hwang in ho#gihun x inho#in ho x gi hun
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Taking it upon myself to actually research into the columbine case has taught me that I really see myself in Dylan. Alas, many people do, but something about him tells me his sadness is my sadness. Something so endearing about the way he felt and how he visualized what he felt that is so strange. It constantly feels like I am the only one who feels this specific type of sad and alone, though I understand it feels like that about many things.
Seeing myself in someone like Dylan Is quite scary, I'd say? I would never go through with things he did, but I can't say the case doesn't have an influence. In total time, I have probably spent more than 7 hours in the last couple days crying and wanting nothing more than to be gone; to have an escape. I don't agree with Dylan and Eric's actions. Of Course, I can find a way to understand but I can admire their suicidal tendencies. I can admire the confidence to have actually taken their own lives.
Of Course though, it was a mix of not wanting to deal with their consequences as well as finding it as the perfect moment, yeah? They had already ruined their lives, he felt as though as Life wasn't worth living. I just want to know if it was fulfilling to him? To Eric? I want to know whether or not it had happened all exactly as they wanted.
It's ashame nobody will know now.
I don't think I could have prepared myself for the recent emptiness I've felt, not so much of a want to have been in Dylan's presence but just so desperate to escape. Maybe it is insensitive but can you blame me for wishing it was me?
Me who they shot? I wouldn't have to do it myself, that's more than enough. And alas, we'd both be dead together after all. A feeling of peace. A chance to genuinely solely understand their thought process.
As someone who is still fairly tame about true crime yet have an insane boundary problem about every case I get infatuated with, I get worried my words will just be seen as surface level fangirling to any of the cases I cling to. And of course this is cringe as well, but I always feel like I have a special sort of understanding towards these people? Not like a, 'i can fix him' way but in a, if I were them, I would illute to the same things.
Obviously their actions are horrible (that goes without saying) but I kind of wish the average person took time to understand that everyone is troubled. I don't believe 'good' people exist in the world. Yes, you can do good acts and you can make good impact, but there are no good people. Perfection isn't possible and I truly feel that the only way to be a good person would be to be perfect.
Everyone is evil. Everyone has faults and hopefully it eats at everyone. I feel like everyone on this planet should feel a sense of hopelessness to an extent; you don't know what it's like to be dead. You don't know if your actions here have genuine consequences when you're dead and gone. You don't know anything, neither do I. Neither did Eric and Dylan, neither did anyone who did similar acts. Nobody here knows anything. Nobody knows anything about anything and I wish we as a whole could accept that.
It bleeds into religion for me. I have never had faith or anything despite being brought up Christian. It was one of those things that have always just been fantasy to me. The concept of the Bible is so warped, inconsistent, unrealistic. It doesn't seem justifiable under any circumstance to me, good for anyone who can see it in the light but I don't think I could ever think that. There is something so false about any concept of any god or afterlife.
It's frustrating though because I know I don't truly think that. I think there is some sort of after life, whether it's reincarnation or infinite nothingness for those who died. I just don't think my - or anyones - actions right now have any impact when it's all said and done.
#tcc fandom#tcc dylan#columbine 1999#tcc columbine#eric and dylan#dylan columbine#dylan 1999#eric 1999#tcc eric
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I'll say this: i always try to go through those who interact with me and block men and minors, i often do that with people that don't have their age in view too, BUT having more and more people interacting with me means i could accidentally miss someone.
Friendly reminder that men should fuck off from my blog, and that if you lie about your age and/or don't put it in your bio, it's not my responsability to keep you away from content you are not old enough to engage with, cause there is nothing i can do about it.
#i haven't got an âageless blog dniâ in my bio even though i block them mostly#because i want to believe in the good faith of people but#yeah probably not a good choice given what i've seen on here and irl#communication
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(regarding the Fort Merceus scene)
"Claude doesn't know as much about the Seiros faith because he's an outsider" thanks for ignoring the entire point of Claude's route just to insist he doesn't grow as a character
Ohhh wait, no, it's not that he's not knowledgeable, it's just him definitely lying! Because disagreements? Regarding tenets of a religion? Impossible! Claude must be feigning ignorance and lying because that's all he does as a character! He's tricking the diligent Lorenz into thinking things that aren't true, because Church Bad and Claude would never tell the truth!
#sorry saw this take and HAD to poke fun at it because what was the game plan here for Claude#if it's so obvious it's a lie and everyone would KNOW it's a lie then NO ONE WOULD BELIEVE HIM LMAO#literally there'd be no point in lying. might as well also say that grass is purple at that point#also tf would Lorenz ''I only pray to look good to commoners'' Hellman Gloucester actually know about the faith#like he literally says he ISN'T a devout believer. like. he says that damn near verbatim. he is not a devoted follower#so he's not some all-knowing expert on the faith or anything#like Garreg Mach literally does trade with foreign nations and lets in foreign students so he can't be THAT correct lmao#and the fact that Claude bringing this up isn't immediately met with. the fucking ''actually it literally does'' thing from Hopes like BRUH#WAIT#WHY WOULDN'T LITERALLY E V E R Y O N E BRING UP THE SUPPOSED PROHIBITIONS TO OUTSIDE CONTACT SHIT THE CHURCH ''DOES''#IF WHAT CLAUDE SAYS HERE IS APPARENTLY FULL OF SHIT??? can we use our thinking caps FOR ONCE regarding Claude i am BEGGING#he GIGA couldn't get away with the ''lie'' if that shit from Hopes actually existed like come ON now people what are we doing#also you know who IS an ACTUALLY devout believer who DOESN'T call out Claude and straight up tells LORENZ to stfu? Judith#so there's that too#and Marianne! she says nothing about this being contradictory either and she's WAY more faithful than Lorenz is#these people want Claude to be a one-dimensional liar who never grows as a character SO BAD
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whenever people say that satine made a huge critical mistake/moral failure by not "compromising" with militant mandalorians i wonder if i was the only person who heard satine say the words "even extremists can be reasoned with" or "concordia is under independent rule and we need to talk to the governor" or "there was a time we weren't enemies, perhaps that time has come again" or "there will be no bloodshed" when she literally surrenders to death watch (a terrorist group btw) because she knows she's lost popular support to them
idk i think there's sort of a satine horseshoe theory going on where people who hate her and people who Nuance Like(TM) her both have selective amnesia about how compassionate, observant, and willing to compromise satine actually is so they can paint her as either a genocidal dictator or an overly-idealistic stubborn bitch #GirlBoss with good intentions and in the end they're 3 centimeters away from each other in terms of how rancid i find their opinion to be
#satine kryze#idk i don't think anyone who is talking about compromising and not being pacifist is doing so in good faith#it's all with the same uncharitable premise that satine forced people to accept her rule#when we see she believes her legitimacy comes only from the people's desire to be ruled by her#it's just a bunch of bad faith extrapolation from the dialogue of known antagonists#like it's a tv show there's nothing beyond what we see on the screen#there is 0 indication that before the death watch arc people wanted satine gone quite the contrary#and going 'well but we don't know what the people REALLY wanted' is silly because the people don't exist and do not have a will#sw
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I should have been born a frog. I should have been born a frog. I should have been born a frog. I should have been born a frog. I should have been born a frog. I should have been born a frog. I should have been
#us elections#us politics#election 2024#i talked to an older friend today and he helped a lot#being with people helps#reminding myself that people care helps#47.5% of people in the usa care#which is a minority but at least it's close enough of a minority to a coin flip that i can always find good people#i am trying to be positive and not live out these last two months of peace in despair#being alone hurts more and i spent too much time today doomscrolling but i need some time to prepare for what i might see in the future#i do not want to make plans i do not want to make plans i should not NEED TO HAVE PLANS FOR A PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION#when i was 15 i had a whole plan for a novel i wanted to write. it was a whole carpe diem/memento mori about living life before it's over#it was going to be a good book. but now i'm not sure i believe in what i am saying enough to write it.#and i am not sure if it would be what the world needs.#but it would have been a good book. it would have been an amazing book and i didn't want to start because i didn't know how#and i wanted to wait until i had more writing and life experience to do it justice#and now i just don't have the OPTIMISM to do it justice and now it may never be written#moral of the story is write the thing NOW edit later make the thing now while you are still passionate about it existing#contrary to the contents of this post i am actually doing much better than i was this morning.#today an irl friend held my hand as i cried under a couch and an online friend reached out to make sure i am okay and i am not alone.#a lot of it is cold comfort. but at least i am regaining some faith in humanity. not all of it. i will never again have all of it.#but i will have enough.#i am a little more afraid of dying young than i was this morning and that is good. that is good.#i am not the only one who has lived through a historical event.#i will do a lot more tiredposting in the near future#especially as inauguration day comes up#but for now in the tags i feel at least a little better.#seraph rambles#seraph originals#side note: the content of the actual post is reminding me of otherkin back in like the 2010s lol remember when that was a thing on tumblr
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iâm sick as fuck. ennalove, youâve really outdone yourself with this one. the master of imagery, this solidified it. mel may have been the painter but you have illustrated this story so vividly with your strong affirmations of grace and love. the tone for this story beat the same with each word. all of it cohesive, every sentence tied to the next. truly, thereâs never a time where i donât enjoy your work.
seeing sevika painted in such a wonderful light, a soft light with comforting hues but you can still feel the rawness of everything and everyone sheâs most. even if it is for the greater good and for the people of zaun, her home has changed â her life has changed. to show that struggle in the beginning, the push and pull of the tide, thereâs the intertwine of canon into something even deeper. from an emotional standpoint, you seriously always knock sevika out of the park. i can hear her thoughts, i feel what she feels, her pain is as close to my heart as it is to hers. itâs intimate. i donât think people understand how hard it is to execute that in writing. a numbing emotion can often feel thoughtless but thereâs full intentionality in this and itâs felt in every word. the entire time i was reading this i just craved for more. the worlds you create in your work are stellar, sevikaâs feelings donât get lost in the shuffle and you can quite literally feel everything about them.
sheâs wounded, hard but soft around the edges, sheâs lost so much, and sheâs ridiculed for things out of her control. the way your write sevika feels real and tangible. a woman who no longer has a home but has her heart beat for zaun and the cause she believes in even if sheâs surrounded by people who donât understand it. and they might never, and thereâs heartbreaking tangibility in that feeling. itâs something all of us feel consistently. in some aspect, we canât control circumstances out of our grip, all we can do is take our best foot forward.
âŚ..but melvika.
the imagery and analogies between the stars and what they mean to each other? fucking amazing. how sevika says the stars is the only think she likes but then saying mel is the first person who is kind to her, the first person who appreciates her and the knowledge she has to offer. mel is sevikaâs star and vice versa. maybe itâs just me but iâm just a sucker for people from completely different lives and coming together and all of it just works. it shouldnât, it couldnât, but somehow it does.
âyeah and there are so many of them, and itâs like every time you see them youâre seeing a completely different sky. and theyâre cool because they only come out at night when they think nobody can see them, itâs like theyâre shy. but i always see them because iâm always awake with them.â she rambles.
oh yes. this shit is so fucking good. the foreshadowing. always being present with one you love, and also â i always see them because iâm always with them â thereâs so much weight in this line. thereâs a thousand different ways it can be interpreted. personally itâs someone like sevika, being reserved, shy, or even cautious, not wanting to be seen or perceived because itâs never ended out well for yourself but when someone does for the first time, itâs the most beautiful thing to experience. whatâs that saying? to be seen is to be loved. thatâs what this little section screams to me. when someone loves you for the first time, not for a version of yourself you think you are or someone wants you to be, but they love you for you. itâs humbling, it aches, itâs more than overwhelming, but thereâs nothing else like it in the world.
thereâs true submission in love, and thatâs where trust and partnership can blossom and grow, and thatâs exactly how this fic made me feel. like thereâs a blossom of hope on the other side of the tunnel. the people we love waiting on the other side for us. ready to restore a faith in humanity that weâve lost.
always exquisite, enna. thank you for always challenging the way i write, making me see the craft in a different lense. itâs so hauntingly beautiful. as if a surgeon can suture a cracked heart back together just because they will it so. ennabear, your talent is always a pleasure to witness. i love your work so much. never stop, ever.
âĄ
â´ď¸ âPAINT THE AGES A HUNDRED SHADES OF GOLD âšââĄâ
I DONâT WANNA TALK ABOUT LOVE ANYMORE âCAUSE ITâS GETTING TOO MUCH FOR ME âŚ
cw: councilor!sevika x painter!mel, sevika is a lil sad and mean but she gets over it, sevika is also kind of a loser who canât stop talking when she gets drunk, jinx and isha mentions because iâm evil and we know this, mel paints sevika nude, body worship, lots of comfort, oral sex, 18+
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itâs been months since sevikaâs big move, and she fucking hates it to say the least.
all of these pilties are stuck up, even more than she remembers. which is a lot. sheâs exhausted, she questions why sheâs even a part of the council if all they do is ignore her. showing up every day and listening to them talk about her home and her people the way they do makes her sick.
they draft plans to raid the markets, shutting down anyone who isnât licensed to be selling meat or rice or bread, but they refuse to let anyone get a license to sell those things. of course, sheâs glad that she gets to eat three meals a day now, but with every bite she takes, sheâs reminded of her home, and how starving they must be over there.
no matter how much she fights back, offers up a real plan that could make peace between the rivaling nations, they all just snicker and point fingers at her like sheâs some sort of circus act.
and donât ask her about how much she likes being called councilor sevika, because she doesnât like it at all. sheâs not a councilor, and maybe thatâs a good thing, because itâs the last thing sheâd ever wanna be.
still, she keeps her emotions under control. this is a huge opportunity to help get zaun on itâs feet and cut ties with piltover officially, she wonât spoil it by making a scene and giving up. no matter what, sheâs gonna make an effort, even if it means being locked in a room with a group of rich pigs whoâve never felt that growing pit of hunger in their stomachs that make them so dizzy that they keel over on the streets.
that they die on the streets.
so yeah, itâs not easy, not even a little bit.
most of her nights are spent alone in her room. itâs nice, âsmallâ compared to the rooms everyone else occupies, but still bigger than any house sheâs ever seen in the undercity. it has large windows that let every bit of light in, but itâs still eerily dark at night compared to zaun.
in zaun, there are neon lights and buzzing street lamps that glow and flicker at every hour, so when it gets dark, the colorful lights bounce off of every inch of the city. you can see them in the reflections of the puddles, bright streaks of light flying up into the night from behind buildings and stretching until theyâre out of sight.
here, in piltover, they have different kinds of lights. tiny, white holes in the sky called stars that shine when it gets dark. they have spotlights and statues and lanterns, but it gets lonely at night. everyone is at home, distancing from their friends and their jobs, getting sleep and resting up for whatever the next day will bring.
there isnât really any rest in zaun, just a small wink of sleep whenever you catch it, and youâre up again. everyoneâs grouchy and hungry and cold, but it makes for good shimmer sales, and the bar is a great place to find refuge when you need a break from it all.
so sevika sleeps with all of her lights on. an attempt to remind her of homeâ although her home doesnât have a queen sized bed, fluffy pillows and soft blankets, lamps, alarm clocks, fireplaces, clean water on their nightstands, and stars that shine through their windows.
the stars might be her favorite part about piltover. probably the only good thing about piltover. she doesnât really know what they are or what they do, but theyâre nice to look at late at night when she canât manage to sleep.
every time she finds herself staring up at them, she sends a prayer or two up to janna. always one for the people, a prayer that even though they pretend to hate each other, and there sure are a few goons who are ready to slit her throat for never paying them back, she hopes theyâre okay.
she hopes that ran and theiram have got the bar under control, that vi and ekko manage to keep the chaos limited, and most of all, that jinx and isha are doing alright.
ever since silco died, her whole world was flipped upside down and shaken vigorously. who knew that someday sheâd be missing jinx? but she does. she cries at night for the blue haired girl, praying for her safety and her happiness, hoping that sheâs managed to keep some of her creativity after everything that went down.
and of course for the more tolerable blue haired kid, isha.
she prays that isha is still attached at the hip to jinx, that her fluffy hair gets dyed that awful bright blue color as often as she wants it to, that sheâs found some way to communicate with the world while her voice is at rest.
sheâs got no clue as to where they could be. one second, sheâs wishing jinx would leave her alone. that sheâd pack up her inventions and make a home for them far away from sevikaâs life. the next second, theyâre gone. no warning, no heads up whatsoever, just completely taken from her life.
but if she wishes to find any wisp of happiness, sheâs gonna have to push these thoughts to the back of her mind, only letting them front when sheâs alone and awake and accompanied by the stars. theyâre the only things who understand her.
ââ
if you listen closely, you might be able to hear the sound of melâs thoughts buzzing around in her mind.
the past few months have given her some intense whiplash, but things are finally starting to straighten out. her life isnât exactly normal, but sheâs growing used to her⌠new self.
she spends most of her time perched at her easel, painting the canvas in beautiful colors that fall over various people or places. itâs therapeutic for her, whatever image or question or anger she has lingering in her head, she can work it out with the paints. when sheâs done, she lines them up in front of her.
it helps her see things more clearly, like a thought that canât float away, frozen in time for her to analyze further. some of them are just plain colors. gold, with white, yellow, and bronze streaks, an attempt to recreate the swirls that are painted on her own body.
sometimes she paints her mother, her eyebrows lowered in a scowl and her silvery gray hair crowning her head. jayce and viktor occasionally make an appearance, both of their faces lost in thought as they stare at various equations and formulas that she canât quite make out.
sometimes she just sees miscellaneous things, quick visions that she needs to bring to life. countless canvases are covered in black, with that dark red fog reaching into it like vines. thereâs also the hextech that makes the occasional appearance, but she canât quite get that bright, rich blue color right.
a few times before, sheâs attempted portraits, but she doesnât prefer them. lest has been one of her closest friends during all of this, she can sit and pose for hours while mel works away at her figure on the canvas. theyâve also tried painting together, but mel prefers her alone time.
sheâs tried recreating the pictures from her memory, but it never comes out as well. she covers the canvas in thick paint, a bronze, brown, and white, making up jayceâs features. but she always clouds his face with shiny white webs, and those glistening, rainbow stars. the ones that stole him away.
while she sits, her body stays stagnant, eyes racing around the blank canvas. she mixes the colors in her head before she even opens the tubes, her eyes proportion it all for her, so she rarely makes sketches anymore.
recently, sheâs been more interested in staying in and shutting out the world. the occasional knock rings out against her door, but she canât be bothered to investigate. she doesnât wanna give her opinions anymore, doesnât wanna lead all of topside to peace and gas the streets of the undercity. really, she never signed up for that. sure, sheâs ambessaâs daughter, but she doesnât care to be a leader anymore. not when all it does is get people hurt and killed.
but apparently itâs urgent this time, because the knocking persists.
âum, mel?â a timid voice asks. âi hate to bother you, but the council requires yoââ
she flings the door open, clad in her white robe and slippers. her hood hangs halfway over her head as she glares at the man, but he insists on escorting her to the council meeting. her feet gently pad against the floor as she walks through the long halls, already dreading having to play referee for a group of adults who should know better.
but ambessa is gone now, and these people need someone to give them any sort of direction.
the dome shaped room welcomes her, and although she dreads being there, the sun shining through the stained glass is gorgeous. she spies a few familiar faces sitting in their respective seats, and notices some new ones who were added after the war.
âbut they need the money!â one councilor booms, one of the newer ones who mel doesnât quite recognize yet. âyou canât just cut their funds and raise the tax prices, theyââ
âcouncilor sevika, please.â someone says, talking over her voice. âwhat possibly could they need more money for? our city needs to be rebuilt, and itâs them whoâs caused all of this destruction.â
mel observes quietly, noticing the tears that fill sevikaâs eyes. she makes an assumption that theyâre either out of sadness, anger, or exhaustion, but she canât quite tell. one thing she does know, though, is that it isnât fair.
itâs not fair to just drag a zaunite up to topside and force her to be the only one representing her nation. especially when she has to be locked in a room full of people who hate her, who think sheâs nothing more than just undercity trash to mock and make fun of.
melâs surprised that sevika has held her ground for this long. if that were her, sheâd want to pack up and leave within a day, especially when she notices the snorts and sideways glances that she gets every time she opens her mouth.
âhave you even been down there?â sevika asks. âhave you seen the bodies lying on the streets? have you heard the sobs of the starving children?â
they all look at her, unable to imagine what hunger even is, much less an entire nation overcome by it. shoola offers a sympathetic frown, but itâs not enough for sevika. sheâs exhausted, and the thought of seeing her home even more impoverished is killing her. worst of all, word on the street is that zaunites are beginning to call her a traitor.
she wishes that they could see how hard sheâs working, how much sheâs fighting for them behind the scenes. but she canât exactly blame them, it must be hard to watch every leader theyâve ever had either fail at leading them to sovereignty or turn their backs on the people. must be worse to watch someone who they thought was on their side disappear into the council and watch as things just keep getting worse and worse down there.
and this makes sevika feel horrible.
itâs hard for her not to blame herself for this, especially because thatâs what sheâs used to. her job for years was to be silcoâs right hand, so it was constantly her fault if something went wrong. thatâs just how things are. if things donât go her way, it must be her fault for not working harder to overcome it.
âi agree.â mel says plainly. âcouncilor sevika has firsthand knowledge of what itâs like for them, why shouldnât we trust her?â
sevika is taken aback at this. sheâs never seen someone so⌠rich looking⌠be this understanding toward her. but although itâs the bare minimum, she appreciates it. sheâll take whatever form of kindness she can get right now.
the other councilors stare at mel like sheâs just grown three heads. obviously, theyâve never been told no a day in their life. sevika is glad that she gets to be present for the first time. some of them sputter and growl, some of them roll their eyes, but sevika just sinks back into her chair and decides to let them argue it out.
âi agree too.â councilor shoola says. âitâs only fair⌠unless, any of you would like to go down there and experience it for yourselves? then you could tell us all about their excess of funds.â
sevika sighs in relief, thanking janna or the universe or whatever god decided to help her out. she canât exactly smile, at least not yet, but she manages a tiny grin, and decides that maybe she shouldnât feel too bad about herself just yet.
mel is glad that sevika and shoola have at least a little bit of brains, but sheâs starting to rethink having all of the others on the council. maybe they need to fire some, or at least add some more zaunites to level the playing field. although, she now knows that sevika can put up one hell of a fight, so maybe she doesnât need it.
but the clock strikes two in the afternoon, and the councilors file out to get on with their day until they meet again tomorrow. sevika hangs back, waiting for everyone to leave before she returns to her office. but mel hangs back too, determined to talk to sevika more, to get to know her.
sevika pulls her cape over her shoulders, completely covering her figure before she exits the room. mel perks up and shoots her a questioning look.
âyes?â sevika asks.
âyouâre brave.â mel says.
âno iâm not. dâyou think itâs brave of me to leave my people starving and helpless down there while i have a real home and three meals a day?â
mel just stares blankly at her. that isnât what she meant at all, but at the same time, sheâs completely right. as much as she still believes that sevika is brave for putting up with the councilors, she should be calling everyone else brave, everyone in zaun who goes days without food. sevika is the luckiest of them all.
âthatâs not what i meant.â mel explains. âi meant that youâre better than them because you stand your ground instead of just getting everything you want. you work hard for what you earn.â
sevika shrugs. âi guess you could say that.â
âdo you miss it down there?â
âwhat do you think?â sevika grunts.
âiâd bet that you do, you just try not to show it in front of anyone.â
âyes, because showing weakness gets you killed.â
ânot up here, it doesnât. you should open up a little, it might be good for you.â mel suggests.
âiâll pass.â
âi could help you.â
âi donât needââ
âlet me help you.â mel says, reaching out to grab sevikaâs hand.
âhelp me how?â sevika asks.
âopen up to me. tell me about your life. friends, family, past, anything.â
âokay⌠maybe.â
âokay, good.â
ââ
sevika has never been great at opening up to anyone, but mel is⌠understanding. as much as she hates to talk about her struggles to other people, mel is probably the best possible person to talk to. mel marched herself down sevikaâs hall to her door, banging on it until sevika sleepily presented herself. she marched sevika down the hall and through the building until they reached her own suite, and she fed sevika more and more wine until she started to talk to her.
it started with just a confession. sevika was wine drunk and admitted that yes, she did miss her home, and that she hated topside. and then mel pressed for more, made her tell her specifically who she missed and what she missed about them.
the list of people who she missed was never ending. at the topâ jinx and isha. in all honesty, mel is shocked to learn that sevika had anyone that she really considered family, much less a daughter or a niece. but sevika tells her all about them, how isha would beg to paint her nails or dye her hair, and how jinx finally had a sister who she could play with, instead of just being too young to do anything.
but when mel asks where theyâve gone, sevika freezes. she doesnât know, and itâs not something she prefers to think about. dead is something sheâd heavily considered, but that ending makes her too sad. as long as she doesnât know that theyâre dead, theyâre not. at least not in her world.
she tells mel that she hopes theyâre somewhere safe, somewhere that they can have fun together. like floating on a cloud, or living in outer space with the stars. maybe they are with the stars, and thatâs why she loves them so much.
âyou like the stars?â mel asks.
âthatâs the only thing actually worth liking about this place, i thinkâŚâ sevika slurs drunkenly.
âhmm, i guess they are pretty, arenât they.â mel ponders.
âyeah and there are so many of them, and itâs like every time you see them youâre seeing a completely different sky. and theyâre cool because they only come out at night when they think nobody can see them, itâs like theyâre shy. but i always see them because iâm always awake with them.â she rambles.
mel canât help but giggle. again, everything she said is exactly right, but sheâs never seen it that way. sevika offers her a fresh new perspective, one that makes her ponder how much she knows about the world.
âsorryâŚâ sevika whispers, suddenly aware that sheâs drunkenly blabbering and probably making a fool of herself. she tries to blink herself sober but it doesnât work.
âno worries. i like them too.â mel soothes.
âi think i should go.â
âalready?â mel asks.
âitâs gettân late. i have places to be tomorrowâŚâ sevika sighs. mel stands and walks her to the door, grabbing on gently to her human arm in an attempt to stabilize the woman. she offers a sweet smile to sevika as she leaves, even takes her hand in her own for a second and squeezes it tightly, but sevika just stares at the floor.
âmel?â she asks finally, although in a timid voice.
âyes?â
âthanks for sticking up for me. i donât know what those pigs would get up to without people like me and you.â
melâs heart warms at this. sevika is so drunk that sheâs starting to get sappy and sweet, and while itâs adorable, itâs clear that she needs to get home. but sheâs glad that her effort isnât going unnoticed, and sheâs starting to really like sevika.
âof course.â she smiles again. âget some sleep for me, okay? donât spend too much time with the stars.â
sevika curses herself for the warm feeling that wraps herself all around her, she hates that sheâs being vulnerable and making friends. she just blames the feeling on the alcohol, but she knows that itâs not. because that light, warm feeling clings itself to her every time she sees mel.
it happens again when they coincidentally cross paths, mel on her way outside for some fresh air and sevika on her way to her room to sign papers until her fingers bleed. but she realizes for the first time that mel is so beautiful. she hasnât spotted sevika yet, but the sunlight glowing in from the windows catches her golden streaked skin perfectly, and sheâs shining. itâs like sheâs a real life star, and sevika canât peel her eyes away.
âoh, hi sevika.â mel grins.
âum⌠hi.â she responds, her heart suddenly beating faster than usual. âwhere are you going?â
âjust outside. been cramped up inside all day and the smell of my paints are starting to give me a headache.â
âyou paint?â sevika asks, although to anyone else the answer would be obvious.
âyeah, all the time. iâd love to show you someday.â she offers, already knowing that sheâs gonna have to drag sevika by the arm and force her to visit.
âokay⌠yeah, that would be nice.â she says.
âwhat are you doing right now?â mel asks.
âi just have a lot of paperwork to fill out, letters to write, things to sign, you know how it is.â
âwill you stop by later, then?â
âare you gonna make me?â
âprobably. if you donât show up by yourself.â
âalright, see you later then.â
ââ
sevika is dreading this outing. the more times she thinks about going back over to melâs, the more anxious she gets. every time sheâs been over there the past month, sheâs ended up either drunk or blabbering on about stuff that doesnât matter. or worseâ drunk and blabbering. she always finds some way to make a fool of herself, and she doesnât know how to stop. she just wishes it wasnât so easy to open up to her, wishes that mel wasnât so damn likable.
mel already knows sheâs gonna have to drag sevika over to come look at her paintings. she always does. no matter how many times she tells the woman to come on her own terms, she finds herself stomping down to sevikaâs door and forcing her to hang out. itâs cute, in melâs mind, itâs like a date. so thatâs what she finds herself doing tonight. cleaning up her suite a little, spinning one of her jazz records, and marching down to collect sevika.
sheâs arranged her paintings in no particular order, but the array is beautiful. some are framed, some are smaller than others, some of them arenât even finished. sevika feels so moved by this. sheâs never seen anything so beautiful. not anything in real life, not mel herself, not even the stars are as beautiful as her paintings.
mel sits her down on the loveseat, pouring two glasses of wine and sitting down next to sevika, but sevika begs her to talk about her paintings. sheâs dying to know how anyone could make anything look more beautiful than the stars. mel blushes at that complimentâ itâs a lot coming from sevika for multiple reasonsâ but she decides that now itâs her turn to open up.
they sit an chat for hours, and before long, sevika feels as if she knows mel like the back of her hand. she now knows about jayce and viktor and what happened to them, about ambessa, her mother, the noxians, and the rest of her family. sevikaâs oddly surprised. of course, sheâs aware that mel is probably the strongest woman she knows, but she never wouldâve guessed that sheâs been through that much.
mel cries a bit, and sevika cries too, and they laugh about their emotions like old friends. for once in her life, sevika feels like maybe not everything sucks, and that maybe itâs okay to let herself fall for someone. she just hopes that mel feels the same way.
âsevika?â mel asks, still catching her breath after a fit of giggles.
âyeah?â she smiles.
âwill you dance with me?â
âi donât dance.â sevika says, laughing at the image of her dancing with someone. how silly.
âaww, come on! itâs just us and some jazz! youâll be fine.â she reasons. âplease?â
sevika rolls her eyes at melâs outstretched hand, but sheâs very tipsy and in a good mood, so how could she say no to the beautiful woman standing in front of her?
mel yanks her up by her arm, and sevika wastes no time following after her to the middle of the room where the big sky lights let the stars shine in. sevika scowls and tenses up a bit, but mel wraps her arms around sevikaâs waist so gently, guiding sevikaâs arm to press against her back. mel sways them back and forth a bit, and sevika soon loosens up and stares down at mel with a smile that puts all of the stars to shame.
âdo you ever miss your arm?â mel asks.
âyeah, sometimes. i miss the one jinx made for me, i wish i didnât take it for granted.â she responds, her mood quickly turning sad against her will.
âi could have one made for you.â mel offers.
sevika shakes her head and flattens her lips into a straight line. âthey wonât let me have one on the council.â
itâs melâs turn to roll her eyes now. âno, iâll make you one that theyâll accept. they always listen to me, you know.â she grins.
âi guess that would be alright, as long as itâs not much of a hassle.â
âfor you? nothingâs a hassle. donât be silly.â
sevikaâs eyebrows pull together in the middle and she pouts, tears quickly filling her eyes. nobodyâs ever been this nice to her before. offering her a new limb, protection from the ruthless comments from the council, good wine, and a dance underneath the stars. she canât help but cry, but sheâs not afraid to anymore. with mel, she feels safe enough to be this vulnerable.
mel notices her sad expression, and she silently prays that she didnât accidentally offend sevika, itâs the last thing sheâd ever wanna do. âoh, whatâs wrong? did iââ
sevika cuts her off with a kiss. she doesnât wanna hear any apologies from mel, not after sheâs been a literal angel to sevika this past week. melâs lips are warm and welcoming, they taste sweet, like if gold was a flavor. she reaches her hands up and cradles the back of melâs head, deepening the kiss.
mel is completely taken aback by this. she didnât know that sevika had feelings for her. actually, she thought that sevika was sick of her. but she kisses sevika back, her lips are big and pouty and oh so soft. she also gets to feel sevikaâs piercing up close, and the cold metal drags against the bottom of her lips ever so slightly. itâs a stark contrast, but a comforting one at that.
one thing leads to another, and theyâre quickly back on the loveseat, lapping at each others tongues and giggling like kids and holding hands. sevikaâs had tons of sex before, sure, but nothing comes close to this. she feels so special, so cared for, that she notices this strange, giddy feeling bubbling up in her chest.
little does she know, that feeling is called love.
she pins mel down to the seat, both of them breathless and high on this mysterious feelingâ although it definitely has something to do with the liquorâ and sevika almost cries again when mel spreads her legs beneath her white gown. the warm lamplight mixed with the starlight causes her to glow again, like sheâs on fire, so sevika canât help but kiss all over the gold patterns that paint her skin.
mel erupts into another fit of giggles, holding sevikaâs shocked face in her hands. sevika tenses up slightly at her touch, but takes a deep breath and swallows all of her anxiety.
âcan i?â sevika asks.
mel smiles and nods. âof course. you can do whatever you want to me.â
sevika shudders and reaches up melâs dress, caressing her stomach and hips. mel is soft and malleable under her touch, and sheâs golden. she reaches forward to tug her dress above her hips. sevika doesnât think sheâs ever seen such a beautiful sight, and mel absolutely adores sevikaâs awestruck face.
the same golden markings that paint her face also trail down her abdomen, all the way to her ankles. there are thick streaks of gold that mirror each other on each side of her torso, twisting themselves into swirls and shapes. she also has small golden freckles littering her body, identical to the ones on her face. they look like stars.
best of all, as if sevika wasnât already turned on enough, she has small, golden hairs that trail down from just beneath her belly button, only stopping when they crown her dripping hole. this woman is made of pure magic, and if sevika doesnât get her mouth on her within the next millisecond, she thinks she might faint.
mel grabs sevikaâs hand when she notices her hesitation, and this makes her snap back into the moment and start eating mel out. she starts slow, just some teasing, soft licks to her clit that make her shiver. mel moans so sweetly and beautifully and sevika feels like sheâs floating.
sevika grips melâs hand harder and harder as she keeps eating her out, and itâs times like these that she wishes she has two hands. one to hold melâs with, and one to feel inside of her, pumping her full of her thick fingers. mel arches her back and thrusts up into sevikaâs face, and they both nearly cum on the spot.
she pulls back for a second, a string of white slick connecting itself to sevikaâs lips before dripping down her chin.
âsev, youâre doing so good, baby.â mel praises. âdonât stop, iâm so close.â
sevika speeds up her movements, determined to make mel cum. her big, silver eyes squeeze shut as her mouth works itâs magic, sucking on her clit and running her pointed tongue between melâs folds to collect her slick.
but she doesnât cum until sevika wraps her lips around her clit again, her piercing colliding with melâs throbbing clit as she tips over the edge. a low whine is pulled from her throat, and sevika pulls back to admire the woman above her. mel yanks sevika up by her shirt, thanking her with a deep kiss. some of sevikaâs lipstick is smudged, so mel wipes it off with her thumbs, as well as the wet slick thatâs smeared all over her face.
sevika is suddenly very aware that she doesnât need shimmer anymore, because she feels like melâs sweet nectar is enough to get her high.
âiâm gonna need that new arm as soon as you can get it.â sevika says with her lips smashed against melâs. âneed to show you what else i can do.â
ââ
itâs been three weeks since then, and sevikaâs been coming over every night. she still has lots of work to do, but mel helps her with all of it. they sort through tall stacks of paperwork, taking turns sitting on the others lap and pouring each other more wine. sometimes they get distracted with sex, but they try their hardest to stay focused. occasionally mel will bring out her paints and work on something new, forcing sevika to stay focused while sheâs at work.
they also spend their mornings together. if they donât wake up in the otherâs arms, theyâll sleepily march down to their door and bang on it until they reunite and hold each other again.
but this morning, sevika wakes up in melâs bed alone. she reaches out for the woman with her arm, but that side of the bed is just cold and empty. sitting up, she glances around the room until she spies mel in her silky white cloak painting on the balcony.
âmel?â she asks groggily. âwhyâre you up so early?â
âjust had to finish something, love.â she responds, smiling at her girlfriendâs half awake state. âyou can go back to sleep if youâd like.â
âcan i at least see what youâre working on?â
ânot yet.â she smiles. âitâs a surprise.â
sevika groans and turns around to go back inside, but mel catches her arm and yanks her back for a kiss. sevika kisses over each of melâs golden freckles, and then her lips, then her nose, her forehead, chin, and then lips again, before returning inside. mel giggles and tries to swat sevikaâs back before she gets away, but sheâs too slow and the effort is wasted.
back inside, sevika grabs onto melâs pillow and stuffs her face into it, bringing a familiar comfort that lulls her back to sleep. sheâs shaken awake a few hours later, though. itâs mel, very gently rattling sevikaâs shoulder while caressing her hair. âsevika, babe, wake up.â she whispers.
âmmmmh?â
âi have a present for you.â
âhmmmm?â
âwake up so you can open it.â
âughhhhh.â
âoh, please. donât be so pouty. i want you to see it! quickly, quickly!â she urges, yanking sevika back to the balcony. the sun is slightly higher in the sky now, some of the orange in the sky is still fading away but the sky is painted in a light yellow color, it matches mel a little bit.
she hands her a giant white box with melâs name on it, a small golden bow sitting directly on the top. âwhat is this?â sevika asks.
âopen it and see!â mel smiles.
so she does. she flips the lock on the box and pulls it open, a smooth, golden arm staring back at her.
âwhat is this?â sevika asks again, this time in disbelief. she couldnât tell how serious mel was about acquiring a new arm for her, so she didnât think sheâd be receiving a new one this quickly, or one this pretty.
itâs a lot more modern compared to her other two arms that sheâs had in the past. it has a matte gold casing all around it, with shimmery gold patterns that resemble melâs carved into it. it has all five fingers, but theyâre not as pointy, more resembling her human fingers than her past arms. sevika is overcome with emotions, and she turns around to pull mel in for a hug, hiding her tears on her shoulder.
âdo you like it?â mel asks.
âi love it.â
âwill you teach me how to put it on you?â
âof course.â sevika promises, and with that, mel tugs her inside and makes her sit and show her. it takes a bit of fumbling. sevika isnât great at explaining things, but she also canât do much with only one arm, so lots of trial and error occurs during the process. but eventually itâs all screwed in, and the first thing sevika does is pull mel in for a real hug.
mel never really realized how strong sevika is, and how crushing her hugs are. at least, not until now. she knows that sevika can hold her somewhat tightly, but one arm doesnât do much. now that she as two arms though, mel is struggling to breathe with the way sevika is crushing her. or maybe itâs just because sevika wants to show her girlfriend some love. and sheâs definitely not crying.
âi have one more thing.â mel says, although most of it gets muffled by sevikaâs chest.
âwhat is it?â she asks.
âcome outside and look.â
sevika follows her outside, grabbing onto melâs elbow with her new hand.
âclose your eyes.â mel says, so sevika squeezes her eyes shut and tries her hardest not to peek. mel dashes over to retrieve the painting on her canvas thatâs now fully dry, and then she holds it to face sevika.
âokay, now open them.â
she opens her eyes to see mel holding one of her new paintingsâ the one she wasnât allowed to see yet. but now sheâs aware of why she wasnât allowed to see it, because the painting is of her.
itâs sevika. hunched over at melâs desk with her reading glasses on and a pen in her hand, a glass of wine half empty on the table next to her. the colors in the painting are very warm, likely resembling the warm lamps that decorate melâs suite. and the most surprising thingâ thereâs a smile on sevikaâs face.
itâs not something sheâs ever seen on herself before. for one, sheâs never been one to smile in general, itâs just not something she was ever used to doing. photographs are also very rare in zaun, so the only way she couldâve seen it on herself is by smiling in front of a mirror, which is even more rare.
sevika doesnât even know how to feel. she should cry, because nobody has ever been this kind to her before, and sheâs overwhelmed with emotions from the arm, the painting, and just being around mel.
she should also be happy. nobody has ever understood her as much as mel does, and she feels so honored to be seen in her artistic lense. she should be glad that she gets to live up here, where everything is safe and pretty and valuable. sheâs also still half asleep, and canât exactly tell if sheâs dreaming or not.
âwhat do you think?â mel asks after a while.
âi donât know what i did to deserve this.â sevika says honestly. âis there some kind of special occasion that i donât know about? or are you just spoiling me.â
âwell, mostly the latter,â mel laughs. âbut it is our one month anniversary, if that counts for anything.â
âi didnât get you anything.â sevika frowns, suddenly feeling way out of melâs league, almost insecure.
âthatâs alright.â mel smiles. âyour presence is enough.â
sevika rolls her eyes and manages a smile too, yanking mel forward and giving her a sweet kiss. one month isnât much, but itâs been the happiest month of sevikaâs life, and things are starting to look up for her. for zaun, too.
âwell,â mel starts, pulling away from sevikaâs lips. âthere is one small thing you could do for me.â
âand that isâŚ?â
âmodel for me so i can paint you?â she asks with a happy shrug of her shoulders.
ânow? but you just painted me.â
âyes, iâm aware.â she laughs. âbut i havenât painted your new arm yet, and that was from a few days ago but you just look so adorable today. please?â
sevika smiles too. how could she say no to mel when she asks so nicely? âalright, fine.â she agrees.
âgood, and take all of your clothes off, too.â
sevika freezes. although mel has seen her naked hundreds of times, she suddenly feels shy.
âdonât worry, itâs just for us.â mel soothes. âlay on the bed and iâll position you.â
so sevika is left no choice but to follow the orders she was given. she strips herself of her clothesâ which is much easier now that she has two armsâ and lays down on the bed, looking up at mel with her big, watery eyes. mel walks over and pushes her backward until sheâs propped up with just one elbow.
âis this comfortable?â mel asks.
âuh⌠y-yeah.â sevika responds.
mel pries sevikaâs legs open, positioning them apart so that she has a full view of sevikaâs dripping cunt from her easel. sevika whimpers, her eyes widening and sparkling as she looks up at mel.
âdonât be shy.â mel teases. âitâs just me.â
âi know, sorryâŚâ sevika says with a sigh, making a mental note to loosen up.
âare you ready for me to start? weâre probably gonna be here all day.â
âyeah. ready.â sevika responds.
âokay, let me know if you need a break.â
mel isnât too fond of painting from models, but she can feel her opinion changing as she sculpts sevika with the paint. her legs are easy. long and thick, and she gets to mimic the way theyâre pressed open.
her torso is next, which is one of her favorite things about sevika. her abs are hard and sturdy, but they get slightly softened out by the rolls of her stomach. then mel moves up to her tits, painting two perfectly pointed brown circles accented with thick, dark nipples.
her neck comes after, and then her arms, and finally her face. mel has memorized every little expression sevika has, so she has a lot to choose from, but she chooses the one that sevika is wearing right now. a goofy, lovestruck smile, adorned with a slight blush sparkling on her cheeks.
her eyes are also fun, theyâre so big and sparkly and metallic, mel canât help but paint stars in them. and of course, her nose, her tooth gap, her piercing, and her hair. they all come together to make up the most perfect face that mel has ever seen.
she moves on to the arms next, painting one with her thick muscles and her warm brown skin, and the other with a shiny gold. her shoulders are slightly slanted, and they have bite marks and hickeys carved into them, which makes mel immensely proud of herself.
and finally, sevikaâs glistening cunt. she paints each fold tenderly, a small circle at the top covered slightly by a thin, fleshy hood. she paints the slick in between her thighs that just keeps collecting with her finest white and silver paints.
and of course, her bush, because she wouldnât dare to forget it. she curls each stroke of her brush until it perfectly mirrors sevikaâs thick, dark curls, and then she trails them all the way up her lower stomach.
she finishes the background next, but itâs not much. she doesnât want anything to take away from sevikaâs beauty. but she makes sure to add a few stars surrounding her of various sizes and shades of gold.
sevika has been surprisingly patient throughout the whole thing, mel predicted that sheâd be begging for snacks only ten minutes in. but mel finishes quickly and sheâs beaming with excitement as soon as sheâs done.
âdo you wanna see it?â she asks.
âyouâre done already?â sevika replies.
âyeah. youâre an easy model.â
âokay, yeah, let me see.â sevika smiles.
mel lifts up the canvas and presents it to sevika, and itâs somehow even more beautiful than the other painting. mel captures her so beautifully, sevika is so honored to be viewed that way. for the first time in her life, she truly feels beautiful. and mel can tell that she feels that way too, through the tears that threaten to spill in her eyes.
and just as sevika is about to tackle mel to the bed too, she notices something in the bottom corner. in a shimmery gold writing, the words âmy star. -mel m.â are painted. sevika looks up at mel with a questioning glance and asks, âwhatâs that?â
âitâs my signature. the title of the painting and my name.â
ââmy starâ?â sevika reads off.
âyeah, because thatâs what you are. youâre my star, sevika. youâre so beautiful and bright.â
and those words echo in sevikaâs mind for the rest of time, especially when sevika pins mel down and rides her face into the pillow a few seconds later. sheâs right. she is melâs star, isnât she.
#i may have analyzed more than anything BUT I LOVE THIS !!!!!#melvika is the only correct ship#they are perfection#this is a certified banger but everything you write is#!!!!!!#your fics always change my perspective#they are soft and vivid and light and full of love and your emotion is felt through your craft#itâs truly beautiful.#â ⎠â â đŤđđ˛đŤđđ˛âđŹ đđđŻđŹ â
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Moral Orel doesn't seem 100% like a show I'd feel seen in if you don't know me but then I remember the episode with the special ed kids and underneath the usual satire on extremist bible belt religion it reminds me WAY too much of how actual special ed departments treated me and other kids growing up.
Like the writers must HAVE BEEN THERE IN LIFE, man. I'd kill to sit down with Dino Stamatopoulos and find out what the fuck inspired him and the other writing staff that day.
#husbandothings#moral orel#bonus fun tag rant? bonus fun tag rant...apparently#in those departments you are immediately written off as a tragic forever toddler by at least 50% of the staff regardless of your disability#there's good ones but the bad ones bring the fun spicy trauma#it doesn't matter how smart you actually are you gotta draw the sad face on that boy on the comic sans worksheet at the age of 15#in your free lesson spaces that you got because of reasons#if someone tells me they're a teaching assistant or have âqualificationsâ in autism and special needs development i immediately distrust#because I have never met a neurotypical person with those qualifications who knows how to treat kids like humans especially autistic kids#funniest part? I was mostly in the special ed department because of my hearing and not totally my undiagnosed autism#and a little because of wonky emotional development from get this...a freaking religious school#like i see adults in the show and i see the headteacher who tried to tell my parents i should forgive the bullies because jesus would#even though the truth is way more nuanced but he just wanted to wash his hands of it#it's funnier than it should be because that teacher would fit right in to this show for that and additional reasons I won't state here#my family were atheists but thought the school would be good#the weird thing is at that time as a little kid I liked the idea of believing in god but nothing that happened proved Him to me#and moral orel hits because it resonates with the fact i genuinely believe religion can do good and it's all about the people#the ones who want to use that faith for good in the world and surviving rough crap and not to do things that would make jesus flip tables#that has stuck with me for over a decade as has the people who felt the show reinforced their christianity#but anyway
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I have a dumb question, and I really hope this doesnât sound rude. Whatâs the logic for some of the characters? Like, if theyâre the âheroâ in their storyline, but they donât seem to follow Biblical doctrine⌠does that even count? Iâm sorry if that sounds snotty; I donât mean to have an attitude.
No, you're fine!!
Short answer: I don't know, I'm not the one sending in the characters đ
But really I would say there's not necessarily a consistent logic that they have to fit. That's part of the beauty of Christianity, isn't it? Anyone who repents and believes is welcome; it's not limited to any certain type of people. For the characters people are sending in here, I think there are a few categories. There are some that fit what you said, who already hold Christian morals and who one could easily headcanon as being Christian within the story. Sometimes people send in villains who they want to have redemption arcs and become Christian. Sometimes it's characters who are Christian; mostly it's characters people would like to see become Christian.
#my favorite character who i headcanon as Christian is one who generally has very Christian morals and really wants to do good#but also lies a lot. and i think in that case it's like i could see him being Christian in the story#because Christians aren't perfect and even people who don't have their whole act together can believe#I'm not justifying continuing to do wrong. I'm trying to figure out how to phrase it#i think there's some post I've seen about how even terrible characters who do terrible things can be Christian#if they're repentant i think? point being that all of us are sinners and a character doesn't have to be perfectly good to be a believer#because none of us are. and a line from a song i know 'though I'm wretched i am not faithless' about a character who#has done bad things and is struggling to reconcile his actions with God's love and forgiveness#anyway. i was saying the character i like comes across to me as an imperfect Christian but also as someone who could really benefit from#learning and growing in the faith. i want to see that character grow morally stronger and become more like Jesus!!!#it would be good for him đ¤ˇââď¸#and that's kinda the point of most of the characters people send. they either seem like they could genuinely BE Christian#or are characters people think really need Christianity in their lives#sometimes it's 'this character seems Christian' and sometimes it's 'i like this character and want them to become Christian'#i think characters who don't follow Biblical doctrine fall under either imperfect and learning Christian or needs Jesus in their life#ask
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*Sniper nods as he listens carefully.*
Right...
*He takes a deep breath.*
Takin' a risk is part of the job, you're right. But what I'm talkin' about ain't work.
*His eyes are lowered, he can't look Spy in the eye, it feels like he already knows his thoughts. Spy's incredibly beautiful irises are too much to handle, especially for what Sniper is about to say.*
I ain't a coward and I should just own what I think, what I feel too.
*Sniper loses the hat and the glasses. He raises his eyes to Spy's. Now he needs to maintain that eye contact and it takes every bit of strength in his body to do so.*
Would you believe me if I told you that I stare at you sometimes, because I can't help it? There's somethin' in me and somethin' in you that just pulls my eyes to you all the time. When you're around, I wanna find an excuse to just... get closer to you, spend some time next to you.
Spy, I...
*Sniper chokes on his own spit even if his throat is dry.*
I'm not good at any of this, but I wanna try my best, with you, for you.
*He cannot say it plainly but Sniper means that he is not good at flirting, romance, courtship, whatever people name it. But his attraction to Spy makes him want to take that leap of faith, he strives to become someone that is worthy of Spy's company, and hopefully worthy of his affection too.*
I was jokin' about the weight comment. You're perfect as you are... *Sniper blushes and looks away before finding his way out of this compliment that might backfire on him*...even with yer twig legs...
Anyway, let's hop on the front of the van. Anywhere in particular you wanna go or d'you wanna trust your old Bushman?
*Sniper quips, playfully.*
- @the-red-sniper
Hm, youâre hilarious sometimes, did you know that? Perhaps save those compliments for a nice woman, hm?
*Spy has a small smile as he watches sniper. Never taking his eyes off him. He knows his words are not relevant for sniper, he just wants to see his reaction to such a comment.*
Youâre the driver, mon ami. I trust you are actually good at driving.
*that was a dumb joke and spy tries to laugh it off quietly*
#mick is throwing his feeling to the floor#he is emotionally naked#if that makes sense#he is just a puppy in love#he wants to be good#and do good#for spy
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Just emptied my queue, so don't be surprised if there's much less activity on this blog. You can still message me + send asks (esp my Christian mutuals and my other pals) and I'll get back to you but I'm just tired of tumblr
#this isn't the person I want to be#I'm sick and tired of constantly subjecting myself to garbage for the sake of an empty dopamine rush#For years I was staying around for the good stuff but it doesn't outweigh the bad anymore#Idk if it ever did#Praying for you all <3#I haven't said it nearly enough because I was afraid of alienating people but I believe in Jesus Christ#And he loves you guys more than I ever could say#So if you know me from fandom posts but wanna talk about faith hmu
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one of the things that will always destroy me is people believing that good story = darker/more mature/more sexual. this belief has ruined so many stories that could have been amazing & has prevented almost everyone from enjoying other really good stories simply because the age range it's aimed at is one they believe can't have complex themes, characters, plot, etc etc. they don't believe they can be moved by something a publisher or studio decided is for kids & so write it off without even thinking about it. biggest curse of being a writer who actually loves stories & telling them is that literally no one else cares in the most pessimistic, higher-than-thou, capitalism brainrot way you can imagine. & it's all automatic. because that's just what you're taught.
#like people who love all kids media uncritically is another problem#but i find an even bigger one is people not believing animated stuff & younger age range stuff can impact you#like imagine trying to explain something you love so much it makes you cry#& every single time people react as if you told them something batshit off the walls insane like you only eat dirt or something#& they need to help you because there is clearly something wrong with you#& no matter how you explain it they always look at you like a crazy person#i feel like no matter what the kinds of art i love will always get shoved to the back of the closet#how i explain the hopelessness of trying to convince someone they're allowed to watch cartoons#but they're adamant they aren't because they're ''too old for that kind of thing''#it really makes me want to cry. & it makes me angry#anyways this is all to say that the minecraft movie is bad because people are afraid to interact with silly things in good faith#& complete 100% seriousness. they cannot take a concept like minecraft seriously#& so they can't see what it's REALLY about#it's not just haha silly block animal & because they can't see it as it is without the filter of ''for kids''#it will be a bad movie. & it won't represent everything everyone who grew up with that game sees in it#i hate seeing a huge problem & either no one else sees it or they do but just don't care because they don't think it's a problem#it IS a problem. it's a HUGE problem that people think they're not allowed to play or have fun or interact with silly concepts seriously#please take shit seriously i'm crying & i'm begging. we could have had something beautiful#people's inability to acknowledge beauty just because the setting is. in their eyes. for kids. is literally ruining art#& i'm gonna start killing about it#Animorphs save me............................................
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The temptation to vague about something in the milgram-confessions blog because its something thats bothered me for Actual Years about certain fandoms vs letting it go because when it is brought up its actually done somewhat tastefully and reasonably which makes me happy and this anon probably didnt mean it in the incredibly bad faith way I keep on seeing it be repeated so really Im getting upset over nothing.
#the answer is: ramble a bit in the tags just to get it out of my system#for some elaboration: Im asian! I have a knee jerk reaction when people go 'the westerners are projecting their values onto the east again'#because 9/10 of the times someone does that they're an American who wants to justify their weird racism/homophobia#by using the idea that asian countries (especially Japan) are backwards and/or ignorant but disguising it as 'being mindful of their cultur#and also then homogenizing them and pretending their all a monolith to be assholes to people!#and/or completely dismiss any possible criticism or interpretation for a series as a cultural values thing#this one fucks me up especially because usually there IS Merit in those interpretations/criticisms#but a concerning amount of people then go 'oh your just pushing your cultural values onto them' as a smokescreen to be a bunch of assholes#and/or discredit their ideas because Clearly All (insert x group here) think EXACTLY THE SAME and BELIEVE FULLY in whatever cultural#idea their using to justify this behavior#Ive Seen actual good discussion on differences in culture!#especially in another fandom of mine#but the worse option has happened so much that when I hear someone say those words alarm bells start ringing#its bad faith! I know its bad faith! But Ive engaged the worse option in good faith and came out wanting to punch someone A Lot More#Ive seen actually good faith discussions of cultural difference in this fandom sometimes! Its really nice but It scares me#cause im just Waiting for Someone to come in and ruin it#can you guys tell ive seen too many bad anime video essays? Ive seen too many bad anime video essays.
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oh OH hO spicey ohhh having a spicey little tantrum about the boromir tag don't listen to me at all do NOT listen I mean it I mean it this is so petty
#text post#Gonna go ffffucking crazy- people have to bend so far over backwards to make Boromir bad that they just full out ignore his entire characte#and bend even further over backwards to make the elves all better than him too like jesus christ#oh is it BOROMIR who would be bitter about dying in the defense of Rohan??? whose despair is just so self serving and requires legolas to#slap him out of it yes uhuh that seems reasonable seems like BOROMIR would just hate the idea of dying for allies he so clearly loved#when in the full actual canonical scene of his death he dies for two random guys he met five months ago and all he has to say about it is#he failed he is sorry he has paid#BOROMIR definitely doesn't deal well with his own looming death and would definitely snap at other people about it ignoring all the decades#he has been under the looming shadow of death and has been known as not-grim and loved by many and has done his duty almost like#that is literally all his life has been up until this point#and of course of course it's ARAGORN who he's supposed to be fighting for because he's SOO impactful on Boromir's psyche he meant so much t#him apparently ggrsfsfgrrffffggfrgr#everyone wants to hit boromir oh yeah he's so annoying his hopelessness is such a burden and everyone else has to deal with him#if ANY of you go looking for what I'm talking about and do anything about it I'll slaughter you myself these are such inside thoughts the#comic is good#I shouldn't even be angry it's the natural conclusion from a story that tells you Boromir is bad but does not spell out that it's because h#isn't 'faithful' to god#they just tell you he is 'too despairing' and he 'desires power' and he 'doesn't have hope' (hope being a proxy for faith and Boromir not#believing in Aragorn means he doesn't believe in Eru's chosen leaders and his 'grand plan')#despair being a sin because it means you are selfishly giving into your own desires for a good life for you and the people you love#rather than accepting that all is God's plan and this life is only meaningful if you are defending Eru's right to the throne of the world#But that isn't spelled out so for despair to be treated as evil in the story people apply a secular understanding of 'bad despair'#already a TERRIBLE idea btw genuinely awful to percieve hopelessness as a personal moral failing#I suppose thats it actually the major reason it gets to me cus hopelessness and despair is a base aspect of my existence like#I am in despair pretty much constantly and I know a lot of other disabled people with similar sentiments#and the urging from people to 'have hope' is at this point sickening and infuriating and maddening to me it is disconnected from my reality#WHICH is demonstrably why I care about Boromir and Denethor so much no one meets them where they are no one sits in their reality with them#they are deeply relatable in their dealing with dispair namely; they just live and accomplish and strive along with their sarcasm and#black humour through their dark grueling lives and do what duty demands and try to hold onto their crumbling family relationships#and then they each have uniquely cathartic ends to those lives
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Being the only person in a group chat who was not invited to the function is the most common experience of my life and its insane at 25 years old this is still happening
#i dont know why this is my good faith theory but i wonder if people think that i just wont enjoy being out#DONT U WANT A DESIGNATED DRIVER? DONT U WANT TO GO TO SHOPPERS DRUG MART?#noop nooping#like when im there people seem to enjoy my presence. i have no real reason to believe otherwise#do they assume i dont want to go? i was told i would be messaged and i wasnt#do they want me to invite myself? because im not doing that thats rude. im not inserting myself into other peoples plans#the only thing i can think of tht would deter ppl from inviting me is i need clear time and place and how to get there and thats#historically been difficult for me#person making the plans said they would message me and they didntttt... may or may not reach out . someone else said they werent having a#good time so i dont know
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