#because i just simply unfollow blogs that make me uncomfy!
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When people say, "This fandom [insert some crappy behavior they don't like]" I think they really mean "Three people I refuse to unfollow who have crappy takes that feed my dopamine-outrage loop."
#fandom#my hot take#unfollow#block!#disengage from that which bugs you#i have a more or less lovely fandom experience#because i just simply unfollow blogs that make me uncomfy!#it's fandom it's not that serious#love you all!#😘
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I don’t know, me personally, I just think two adults playing pretend & pretending being gross together with full open communication & consent between them is harmless, but maybe that’s just me.
#this is very much a vague post if there ever was one & I’m absolutely vagueing#again; pay attention to the wording & reread if you need to#I think adults playing pretend on its own is harmless as long as everyone involved consents to it#idk how much more simply I can put this tbh but had to unfollow someone over saying certain kinks are harmful#like wow okay if they knew my other blog they’d be saying I’m an absolute freak probably tbh#always seems to be younger folks who have the unhealthy takes about kink but in this case i cant say nothing yknow?#idk this person & they're going through some stuff so i can't really say anything without it sounding tone policing plus parasocial#but just because bad people like a kink doesn't make a kink bad; trauma too doesn't make a kink bad; uncomfortable maybe but not harmful#just like in general yknow? its only as harmful as you make it between yourself & others. Everyone has to communicate or the whole thing#will fall apart. In this case there was absolutely some communication issues which lead to trauma but also just seeing someone agree that#a kink I like is harmful is like idk made me super uncomfortable even if the person is traumatized & going through it still just yeesh#idk seeing someone you follow for a while be like 'yeah this kink you like is bad' when by itself its actually harmless just leaves a#bad taste in your mouth if that makes sense. it just really rubbed me the wrong way so mmm 😕#I hope that person gets all the help & support they need; I'm just uncomfy with the rhetoric of 'certain kink bad' when its just like not#you're traumatized actually is what's going on & that person who hurt you was into said kinks so now in your brain those r bad#absolutely fair way to feel; but adults playing pretend with these specific ones is absolutely not inherently harmful#& pushing that kind of mindset is also coincidentally something right wingers especially want right now & commonly so yeah no#I just bleh it makes me feel gross when other people say stuff akin to that like oh that's like SWERF rhetoric even if unintentional jeez 😓#mine#op
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i've been confused about this for a while now, and i just keep seeing it. people who have "anti-endo" or "non-traumagenics dni" etc. in their bios or posts.
it confused me bc after looking into it, i found that endogenic is just a term for another type of system.
it immediately rubbed me wrong that people are excluding these people simply for what they are.
and after doing some research, i'v realized that it's fake claiming culture...
if these people make you uncomfy, sure you don't have to interact with them, but you do not live in their head. you can't decide if they have a disorder or not.
same shit happens with tic disorders. people with tics claiming that someone else is faking simply because their tics don't look the same, or they happen differently, etc.
as someone who can't fucking stand fake claiming, i have to say something.
fake claiming is never ok
full stop.
someone's system developed differently than yours? works differently than yours? they'r different than you, that is all. don't assume they're just lying.
and if they are lying, they are not doing as much damage as you would be doing by accusing them of such, and it turns out they'r not lying. don't take that chance. i'v heard how much fake claiming can take a huge tole on someone's mental, even ruin their life if it gets bad enough. and usually it's not even true.
if you want to know more about these systems, here is a link too an article, made by the people who proposed the terms. and here is an important part of it:
"The terms traumagenic and endogenic, which are now often used to try and divide the community into “fake” and “real” systems, were never meant to be used as such. We proposed them, and a few other terms, back in mid 2014 just as a way for people to move away from medicalized terms, to help phase out the term “natural system”, and give non-medicalized systems words they could use to better describe their experiences.
Endogenic simply means, a system not formed from trauma or other negative life experiences. It doesn’t mean they never experienced trauma, just that it isn’t what formed them. It doesn’t mean “healthy” or “non-disordered”. Endogenic systems can and sometimes do experience amnesia, dissociation, distress, and dysfunction. There are quite a few hypotheses out there for how endogenic systems form, but in the end, we just don’t know how the brain works in regards to plurality. It could be psychologically, physiological, spiritual, who knows. The point is, endogenic systems exist and are a completely valid expression of plurality."
lastly, i want to say, if you are an endogenic system, i believe you. you are valid. you deserve to exist.
and if you'r a fake claimer, DNI. unfollow. get off my blog.
#sorry this kinda shit pisses me off#i'm not a system but i do have tourette's and i know fake claiming is universally bad. idc what disorder it is#didderd talks#tw fakeclaiming
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hi! i love your blog and was thinking of following, but before i do, wanted to ask a question. I'm not 27. but i am 25, about to turn 26. am i better off not following/interacting considering that id have to unfollow in a year? does the age limit increase as time passes and you get older? please let me know because the last thing id want to do is make you uncomfortable, but i hate to get attached and then have to unfollow in like 13 months. im sorry if this makes you uncomfy im not so good with my words!
Hi! So fd[big dipper] and i are 21 and 22, and our age that we are ok with interacting will increase in a year or so from now when were 22 and 23. The age limit we have on this blog is not because we don't support older regressors, but because we both have had horrible experiences and simply do not feel ok to interact with people older than that age yet [unless family or co-workers of course][not directed, just a general statement for others who may have this same concern!] Considering you're 25 gonna be 26 soon, you're safe on interacting and being around < 3
#✩⸜⸜Babi answers 🚀#age regression#sfw age regression#fun fact#i dont remember our tags ever 😅#so everything goes into my drafts first#so i can find my tags 😭
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I’ve had to unfollow a lot of longtime mutuals on my primary blog. While it’s heartbreaking, it’s also become apparent to me, in recent months, that some of you only use social media as a means to make yourself and others miserable, and I’m just not about that. I’m here to have a good time. Real life is already doing a good enough job at keeping me grounded in sorrow. This place is my escapism, and I simply have no interest in intaking negative news about anything, as it literally does nothing to encourage me to keep fighting. I’ve already gotten my fill of negative news from irl sources, so even if it’s far and few, I prefer to focus on the positive news, here. That keeps me going and proves to me that, even if it’s tiny, progress is being made, and it’s worth it to keep going. I’m tired of living in this perpetual fantasy land online where people pretend it’s a resourceful use of your time and energy to intake negativity. I’m tired of feeling like I’m surrounded by people that live in a delusional single-issue world that lacks complexity. I’m tired of the knee-jerk takes of people spewing the same anti-progressive rhetoric as conservatives because new technology makes them uncomfy. I’m just tired of it. I prefer to be realistic. I prefer to live in the real world, where there are multiple issues going on, but I’m aware that I can’t solve them alone. My opinions are just that: opinions, and not some definitive call to action I’ve convinced myself can solve everything if I believe hard enough. My opinions on any given matter don’t have to be black or white, and I’m allowed to focus on more than one issue, including those that might intersect with one another, because that somehow feels like less of a drowning experience that the single-issue world social media tries to pretend exists. I just feel like I’m surrounded by delusion 24/7 on here, and this stupid phone is the window to it all. Life is so simple and easy, yet wonderful and complex, on the days I set my phone across the room and focus on other stuff. Idk. I’m rambling. I just felt a certain way and needed to write out. I’m not upset in the slightest, it’s just that my form of meditation is reminding myself of reality and grounding myself in the world. Writing things out like this, where I feel I have a space to be calm and emotionally mature without people thinking I’m making some declarative manifesto that needs to be critiqued is therapeutic. This thought is still far from complete, and the way I feel about this and things relating to it is impossible to put into words, so I guess I’m done for now. I just needed to relax a little; Sort my thoughts out and trim the intimidating entanglement of vines that has been my brain, lately. Sometimes it’s important, when everyone online is screaming about how every little thing is going to end the world, that you remind yourself: Life goes on.
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・✶ 。゚𝖗𝖚𝖑𝖊𝖘
BEFORE YOU FOLLOW !
ꕤ this blog contains sfw / nsfw + dark content, minors can read and interact w my sfw work only but you must be 18+ to follow and interact with me. minors, ageless or blank blogs will be blocked ! : this blog is not spoiler free.
ꕤ i shitpost / ramble a lot so please consider that before following me. this is a blog for me that i happen to write in, this blog is not for solely writing purposes, but there are tags for you to block if necessary. do not ask to me mutuals [it makes me uncomfy & awkward]
ꕤ do not interact with me if you meet any of the usual dni criteria, bring unnecessary drama or don’t believe that fictional characters can be aged up ~ this blog is not a safe space for you. also dni if you are a dc blog who lets minors interact with your blog / content.
ꕤ i am a fast writer but that doesn’t mean i have a consistent posting schedule, i post whenever i have something finished so do not expect daily posts all the time, although i will normally update you all if i’m taking a break for a few days.
INTERACTION !
ꕤ i can come across flirty naturally even if sometimes it’s not intended and my mood can also change very quickly, especially if i get a weird vibe off of anyone in my asks. do not spam my inbox, i will just block you because having a consistent flow of notifications makes me overwhelmed. emoji anons are welcome.
ꕤ i block freely so please don’t reach out to me to ask why, i go completely off of peoples vibes and considering this blog is my safe space, i have every right to control who i see on here. if it seems my blog has unfollowed you / broken our mutual, please reach out to me as this is most likely a glitch because i don’t soft block, i hard block.
ꕤ i believe in everyone’s right to curate their own tumblr experience, if you’re going to break our mutual / block me, please hard block — im a little dumb sometimes and wouldn’t want to follow you again thinking it’s a glitch, or make you uncomfortable by interacting with any of your content.
ꕤ do not dm me if we’re not mutuals, it makes me uncomfortable — if you want to talk you can send me an ask ( but you must have an age in your bio or i’ll just delete it and block you ) if you break this rule consistently i will block you. (one off genuine questions are fine)
ꕤ mutuals can ask for my discord and close mutuals who i would consider friends can ask for my instagram.
ꕤ do not spam like or i’ll block you. this is liking 12+ posts in a row without reblogging anything, if it’s obvious you’re reading through my masterlist it’s fine but if you like 12+ posts in the space of a minute you’re blocked.
ꕤ do not rant, bring personal problems / trauma dump or discourse into my inbox, i simply wont entertain or answer you and don’t ask to be mutuals. if your ask is unanswered it is because i’m burnt out, i don’t like the vibe it brought into my inbox, it makes me uncomfortable or i simply didn’t want it on my blog.
WRITING !
ꕤ this blog is multifandom so you will most likely see me write for whichever fandom i want ! ; although i write mostly for jujutsu kaisen, tokyo revengers and genshin impact. i also go between thirsts, hcs & fics.
ꕤ i don’t take requests currently, only suggestions but i am always open for thirsts, if they inspire me i’ll expand and write something longer for them but please don’t expect content. i don’t have a posting schedule i only post whenever i have something done, this can be daily or a couple of times a week.
ꕤ do not recommend my work / blog on any other platform.
ꕤ i don’t write dom readers or mommy kink. i also don’t write for mahito.
ꕤ please be mindful this blog contains dark content like stepcest, piss kink etc. although i won’t write kinks like ; scat, vore, vomit, infantilisation, feet or lactation. but everything else will be tagged accordingly under ݁ . ༅ : domain and also eg. tw piss
ꕤ all of the characters i write for are post timeskip! or aged up ! ; if you don’t agree with this then dni with my blog — again i wont entertain this discourse. if you have a problem with anything i write or me as a person then block me, i don’t have the energy for drama on this platform, i just want somewhere i can indulge freely in my hobbies.
fank yew for reading if u made it this far >_<
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Hey Gina, after yesterday 's DM incident I just had a few thoughts about it and maybe I'm late to it but still, I felt like I could rant here for a while because you're one of the oldest Larry blogs that I've been following, perhaps the first one since I joined Tumblr.
I've been a Larrie since 2014 and see, one thing all of us as a fandom know is that the boys don't owe a single thing to us, and that hurdles will be thrown our way and despite them, we have to understand it all and hold on.
We can never blame them for the hate and bullying all the young fans on the internet recieve on a daily basis because that's completely the fault of the people inflicting it and their own morals.
We've been told that our idols hate us, that we've ruined their friendship, been on the recieving end of death threats and been doxxed because of our fandom which is a horrible part of the internet, and yet we haven't been deterred for over a fucking decade where most fandoms would be because it's nothing compared to what the boys have gone through.
However I'm sure the boys are aware of our situation and it's obvious that their hands completely aren't tied anymore by strict contracts anymore like they used to be.
Yesterday's situation, Louis unfollowing HLD(one of the biggest Larry UAs around and I'm sure he knew that. The antis had a FIELD DAY with that one) and just all recent occurrences (and Holivia, to add insult to injury, which I know there's a reason for it but given the circumstances, it isn't looking good for us) kind of is putting me off. If yesterday's incident was real, I'm afraid to say this but I'm deeply disappointed.
H and L are happy, I want to believe, they never do and never have owed us any "proofs" or any activity whatsoever as long as their own well being is ensured, they could take a break for years, they could take as much time as they want, after all they're humans like all of us and they're in sticky situations in a fucked up industry and we should understand that.
But at the end of the day, they're celebs with a platform and when there's people fighting for your expression for so many years and standing behind you, all these young people that have seen the worst of the internet, the last thing you do is add salt to the wound and act this way towards them, confirming exactly what the antis tell us.
Ignore us, of course you won't be able to acknowledge us at this point, we'll keep showing our support for you, but H and L need to understand that warding off such a huge part of your fandom is not a good move and it disheartens people for a reason. Realistically speaking, it's hard to still stay firm in your foundation after all this regardless of whatever prior incidents might suggest, I found myself doubting Larry for the first time in 8 years due to recent occurrences, if Louis' team thinks they're going the right direction with this, they're wrong.
I'm always careful not to do anything that makes my favs uncomfy and the way these things have played out, a lot of people are unlarrying simply because they think H and L might not want us to be doing this. That's all.
Hi sweetheart. I really agree with what you’re saying. If he felt the need to confirm that Freddie is his kid, for whatever reason, it could have been done without bringing Larry into it. So yeah, they owe us nothing. But at the same time, they have to be aware of how this sort of thing deeply affects people.
This doesn’t make me doubt Larry, but it does make me question why I’m wasting time here.
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ABOUT
Hewwo! Mun’s name is Lago or Lake, I’m 19, sadly, i learned how to read. im a he OR they: pick one and stick to it edition. I don’t know what people want in these but the important bits are:
English is not my first language (it’s porch of geese) and I don’t care much for what I sound or write like. I suck at words and my vocabulary is self admittedly not that large. Learned english through vidya games and memes and all that jazz. I'll do some br posting from time to time and we can thread in pt if you'd like too! i always pass some fun cultural aspects to my characters.
I’m very busy 80% of the time. If I’m here I’m probably procrastinating somehow
I’m very friendly, talk to me about bones, boats and animals! help me with homework also, I'm dying.
You can ask for my discord if you’d like to talk, but be warned: i AM shy and im bad at replying consistently. but i WILL usually text back! takes me a bit though.
The main Character of this blog is Nepeta Leijon. Weirdo. It’s what happens when you take nepeta and multiply it by 5 with an extra dose of vodka to mix it up.
Pronouns are IRRELEVANT.
:33 ! she speaks like this with no puriod marks whatsoever, sometimes commas and boy does she cuss
I’m usually very open about literally everything that goes on my blog, but here’s some quick RULES you might want to keep in mind:
18+ only, she’ll be horny on main and she doesn’t care enough to make a sideblog for that. She might sw33t talk your character also if she feels like it. and PLEASE, if she does that and it makes you uncomfy SAY SO. She won’t repeat it and won’t press on the subject.
If you wanna talk about anything, you can just message me privately @ any of my blogs (here or @white-dragon-diretorio.)
Tag anti/proship discourse for me please and thank you.
When in doubt, hit me up.
Open for shipping!
Open for non mutuals. I usually follow back, though.
DMs open.
M!As are always open!
Gifts are welcome.
NSFW comments towards her are allowed. You’ll feed her ego immensely.
OCs and Canons both WELCOME. Feel free to interact.
Keep IC out of OOC. I, the mun, am a real human person with feelings, and an extremely shy one at that. Please don’t be rude at me if you have no reason to be rude at me specifically. I don’t endorse the things my character do and say. Nepeta is a terrible nuisance of a creature. I'm just some guy.
Open for plot. Any and all plot. I love plotting!!!
I’m very forgetful. Feel free to remind me of a thread, i’ll be thankful.
I’m an android mobile dweller. My tags are simple. Look at the pinned post and they should be pretty obvious.
As a rule of thumb, I am not willing to ACTUALLY RP NSFW. I’m a “fade to black” person, we can still discuss what went down, but I don’t RP it.
DON’T BE MEAN to me about my characters ooc. I don’t care nor do i want to know if you don’t like them! If you don’t like me or my characters simply don’t interact.
I can’t stress how much I’m extremely out of touch with stuff. If you see any issues with anything I’m doing or someone I’m interacting with, message me. I actually don’t publicly take part of drama and discourse. I actively avoid that stuff because it's triggering!
I block and unfollow deliberately. Don’t take it personally. This goes both for tags and people that make me (the MUN) uncomfortable and for whatever other reason. if something becomes too much or gets upsetting on my dash i simply hit the bricks, specially if we’ve never really interacted before. I perform the flawless emancipate and evacuate approach. Block and dip. I'm here to have a fun time and I'll curate my own experience to be able to do so.
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Sorry to bother you, but does dni include unfollowing the blog? Or just contacting them off anon/stating age. I’m sorry if this is weird I just sorta noticed you handled such questions really well...
hellooo! morning my love! DNI simply means not liking, reblogging, commenting or sending asks about it. I used to go through my followers and soft block minors I find but I don’t anymore because it takes way too much time and also it’s hypocritical of me!
I can say that as an adult now, I feel uncomfy with minors consuming my work because they’re so dark, but that’d be hypocritical of me because I grew up reading dark content myself.
We can’t really control who reads and comes across our content and it’ll be impossible to truly make sure our content doesn’t reach minors, so DNI means not to like, reblog, comment or send asks about it. Basically anything that indicates you’ve seen and read it!
#urusai! baka#thank you for being so respectful!#also a lil flattered you think I handle questions well HAHAHAH#I hope this makes sense? I’m genuinely half awake I’d barely woken up#so I hope this isn’t nonsensical babbling#some people say sending asks on anon is fine as you wouldnt KNOW its a minor#personally I’d rather just not encourage them to send asks at all tbh#but that varies blog by blog!#if a minor sends an anon about a fic/req/thirst we’d never find out that theyre a minor ya know#i dont rly like that so I’m not gonna encourage it BUT I know thats deffo something thats more acceptable#this ask isnt weird at all ahhh dont worry!#I appreciate you asking! <333
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// Few things. Not a rant or PSA or vague posting etc. I’m just tryna set a few things down if y’all could read it. It’s about RP on here!
⯈ First, if my RP makes you comfy, please just unfollow and soft-block me. Also try to anon me as to what’s wrong so I can try fix it if there’s an issue. I can’t learn etc if I don’t know what is wrong. [It’s come up in recent that there’s issues with Jax and I had to dig to find out what was wrong. I just need to be told and I promise I won’t get angry etc. I rather know so I can work on it. But remember the second point in this post - I’m not Jax.]
If it’s just you being uncomfortable with something that isn’t actually wrong then I won’t change anything but it’s good to know what makes people squicky. That way I can think on how to go about things a bit better or whatever will benefit the other followers. This is a trigger heavy blog at times [not all the time] and not for everybody and I won’t change who Jax is nor bend him for people etc. But I’m always willing to listen to anybody about anything.
I don’t mind people unfollowing me, mind you. I do not want to make people uncomfy and so I’m happy that in recent people have come forward to say they’re uncomfy with Jax and have unfollowed. I’m fine with it and I hold no distaste to people who unfollow because we’re all here to have fun, make friends and most of all feel comfy and happy and that’s all I want.
⯈ Second, remember that I am not Jax. I do not support Jax’s actions. I never will. I am not him and vice versa. We don’t share the same ideals. I am not a sexual person IRL while Jax is obsessed, as a quick example. I do not support his actions where he attacks people nor where he manipulates, blackmails etc. Anything negative he does I do not support. I simply enjoy RPing him like this because it is so different to myself and I love trying to work things out, how people go about it, put myself in that mindset etc. It’s very, very interesting to me.
⯈ Third, if you believe me to be playing something wrong ie. mental health, tell me how and why and I’ll try look into it further. But also remember that everybody experiences things differently. So just because X is like Y to you doesn’t mean it will be the same to Jax. That being said I do not have the same disorders as him so there’s always room to improve. I do however share very similar symptoms of some things he does have so I do know about those. I’m not going into which or what but I use my own experiences to help this part of the RP. I have also researched what he has so I’m not going on any cliché. I do not agree with glamorizing it either. But as previously stated I find certain things interesting.
Just talk to me about anything if needs be. I don’t bite. I’m not a bad person. I’m willing to listen and work things out. Remember that.
Thanks for reading ❤
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aight fam i’ve turned off anon asks for the indeterminable future.
i know that my followers tend to prefer anon for whatever reason, and i am very sorry to those of you who have social anxiety and are afraid to send in asks logged in.
but i need a way to keep the bad actors out for the sake of my own sanity. my self esteem is in the toilet right now, and things like last night just twist the knife and make it worse.
please keep the following in mind at all times:
1) this is my personal blog. i get that most of y’all are here bc i post a lot of meta and theorycraft here, but at the end of the day, this is not a fandom blog. i am not a BNF, i am not a fandom celebrity. i am a person and this is my personal blog.
2) i use this space to vent and/or have fun. if you do not find my sense of humor fun and/or find that the things that i vent about personally upset you, please unfollow and possibly also block me.
3) i do not engage with other blogs in a negative manner. i do not send anon hate. i do not harass. i ask that you please extend me the same courtesy.
4) i’m just going to reiterate point #2 and point #3 in a combined manner: i do not tend to engage with or have my fingers on the pulse of fandom at large. i do not generally hold mainstream fandom opinions, i am not tuned into pop-fandom interpretations and headcanons and trends, and i generally find myself in a place of disagreement with people as a result. i form my own opinions and post those opinions. chances are that i hate the things you love and love the things you hate. and that’s okay. disagree with me constructively, and i’d love to have a conversation with you. but if my personal interpretations of shit pisses you off, upsets you, makes you feel targeted -- please leave. none of this is personal. please do not treat it as such.
i never thought i’d have to make a post like this because 80% of my shit remains untagged and i keep to myself, but. here we are.
for those of you who tend to veer towards the direction of anon asks simply because you dislike the idea of me posting your name publicly but still want to talk canon and fandom and characterization and theorycraft with me: please hit me up on discord instead so we can talk privately.
my discord is autoignition#4248
i tend to stay away from tumblr messaging because it’s laggy and buggy and i forget that it’s there 9 times out of 10, so discord’s really the best way to reach me if you’re uncomfy sending in logged-in asks.
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Hello everyone! I am a fanfic reader and I have been seeing content creators receiving and responding (and still being polite, kudos to y'all) to these rude asks.
And also, sending an ask anonymously doesnt make whatever impolite shit you just sent any less impactful or hurtful or annoying.
Attention to all fanfiction readers to think before you even submit that ask to a writer. I know some of y'all don't have bad intentions but it doesn't erase that effect on the person you sent it to, you know? It really doesn't hurt to consider people's feelings. Just ask yourself "Does this sound rude? Would this make them uncomfy?" and etc. Don't be insensitive. If they mention already that a certain topic makes them uncomfortable, then don't bring it up. Respect personal preference. AND DON'T invade their privacy and personal life. No seriously don't do that.
Don't like their content? Simply unfollow them. No need to be a bitch about it really, just by unfollowing their blog to stop seeing their content is harmless.
Loving one of their stories but not getting any update? Be patient and if you're gonna message them about it, BE POLITE dont throw any swear words like seriously. Just like I said, THINK BEFORE YOU SEND.
If you're one of the people Im targetting this post to, it's not too late to apologize and/or make up for what you did. Im not saying you have to expose your account, just apologize anonymously if you want and go like "Hey! I was the one who sent that rude message and you're right there was no reason for me to be mean about it. I sincerely apologize and I won't do it again and I hope you have a good day!"
Own up to your mistakes.
Remember that being a writer isn't easy. And reminder that they post awesome content here in Tumblr FOR FREE. So don't be an ass that spreads negativity.
Support content creators by REBLOGGING. Simply liking won't do anything. A reblog however is like a way of saying "Hey! I love this! A lot of people have to see how amazing this is. Keep up the good work! ❤️"
And don't forget the comments! Anonymous or not, writers love it when people comment on their works. Any form of awesome message is what writers feed on, it's their dose of motivation!
Anyways the message Im supposed to base this post on is:
"Simply shut up if you have nothing good to say. Even if you become anonymous and send some annoying ask, it doesn't make me want to slap you less"
And avoid using "I was having a bad day" as an excuse, come on man that's getting old.
The alternative message of this post could also be:
"Be a decent person / fanfic consumer and support content creators. Don't hesitate on leaving a cute and nice message or comment, you're not being annoying don't worry. Also stop lashing out on people, that's not nice. And if you're a writer, you don't owe ANYTHING to ANYONE. So don't ever feel sorry for something you shouldn't even feel sorry for. And if you're a reader who just becomes unreasonable and mean, stop causing a headache to anyone anymore. Have some respect, will ya? Start having some character development because this doesn't apply in only fiction."
I realized this was long but anyway I hope this was helpful! Have a good day everyone!
#im glad i finally got tht out of my chest#me whenever i see my favorite fic writer receiving a mean message: *sigh*#as someone who easily gets irritated im surprised this wasnt composed of too much swear words#well actually it was but hey it wasnt a lot... i think#this was worth it#i love y'all#haters gonna hate but i ran out of coffee to witness anymore bitchiness (in a not so good way)#fanfiction writer#fanfiction reader#writers on tumblr#readers on tumblr#inbox asks#random rant
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RULES
Hewwo! Mun’s name is Lago or Lake, I’m 20 but bad at it. im a he OR they: pick one and stick to it edition. I don’t know what people want in these but the important bits are:
English is not my first language (it’s porch of geese) and I don’t care much for what I sound or write like. I suck at words and my vocabulary is self admittedly not that large. Learned english through vidya games and memes and all that jazz. I Dont Care For This Language Tm sorry. I’ll do some br posting from time to time probably and we can thread in pt if you’d like too! Assume all my characters are brazilian unless explicited otherwise.
I’m very busy 80% of the time. If I’m here I’m probably procrastinating somehow.
I’m very friendly, talk to me about bones, boats and animals! help me with homework also, I’m dying.
You can ask for my discord if you’d like to talk, but be warned: i AM shy and im bad at replying consistently. but i WILL usually text back! takes me a bit though.
The main Character of this blog is Réquiem. he's... i don't know what he is, honestly. he's an "original species" of some sort, born out of abandoned things such as buildings and other general physical spaces, objects and sometimes people.
Pronouns are (by order of preference) he, it OR they. If you pick one, you stick to it consistently AT LEAST throughout the conversation.
He will be weird. I don't know him yet, i just want to know where he goes.
This blog will contain untagged unreality themes, liminal spaces and other "weirdcore" kind of content. I'm bad at consistently tagging so I'm simply not going to try because that's his whole thing. Follow at your own risk if this is triggering to you.
I’m usually very open about literally everything that goes on my blog, but here’s some quick RULES you might want to keep in mind:
Tag anti/proship discourse for me please and thank you.
18+ only, she’ll be horny on main and she doesn’t care enough to make a sideblog for that. She might sw33t talk your character also if she feels like it. and PLEASE, if she does that and it makes you uncomfy SAY SO. She won’t repeat it and won’t press on the subject.
DMs open and unless stated otherwise, i assume all DMs are in character.
If you wanna talk about anything, you can just message me privately @ any of my other blogs or through here.
Open for shipping for as long as the characters have an interesting dynamic.
Open for non mutuals! I usually follow back, though.
M!As are always open!
Gifts are welcome.
NSFW comments allowed.
OCs and canon characters of any fandom are WELCOME. Feel free to interact.
You must understand that IC is not OOC. I, the mun, am a real human person with feelings, and an extremely shy one at that. Please don’t be rude at me if you have no reason to be rude at me specifically. I don’t endorse the things my character do and say. réquiem is kind of a bad spirited creature. I’m just some guy.
Open for plot. Any and all plot. I love plotting!!!
I’m very forgetful. Feel free to remind me of a thread, i’ll be thankful.
I’m an android mobile dweller thus my blog is hideous on pc. My tags are simple. Look at the pinned post and they should be pretty obvious.
As a rule of thumb, I am not willing to ACTUALLY RP NSFW. I’m a “fade to black” person, we can still discuss what went down, but I don’t RP it.
I can’t stress how much I’m extremely out of touch with stuff. If you see any issues with anything I’m doing or someone I’m interacting with, message me. I actually don’t publicly take part of drama and discourse. I actively avoid that stuff because it’s triggering!
DON’T BE MEAN to me about my characters ooc. I don’t care nor do i want to know if you don’t like them! If you don’t like me or my characters simply don’t interact.
I block and unfollow deliberately. Don’t take it personally. This goes both for tags and people that make me (the MUN) uncomfortable and for whatever other reason. if something becomes too much or gets upsetting on my dash i simply hit the bricks, specially if we’ve never really interacted before. I perform the flawless emancipate and evacuate approach. Block and dip. I’m here to have a fun time and I’ll curate my own experience to be able to do so.
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First and foremost: THIS IS AN 18+ SPACE. I’m 28. It’s not that I hate minors or anything but I’m just... too old to deal, and would rather not- simply because... again... I’m 28 lol. We would never be friends or hang out in an irl setting, so it doesn’t make sense to be here.
Also as a lil disclaimer: I am friends with and interact with a lot of users that post “dark content”. While I don’t rb it *here* I do consume it, have a side blog for it, and again, have relationships with these writers. If that makes you uncomf, feel free to unfollow, I won’t be hurt... bc tbh i don’t care and also bc it’s ur responsibility to curate your experience on this god forsaken app and I’m sick of having to say that.
What I write:
hq✴︎ bnha ✴︎ jjk ✴︎ tr ✴︎ wbkr
others tba
Fics, Drabbles, HCs, the works- a good chunk of my works are nsfw but I can write other things, sometimes I like flexing my fluff/angst muscles tbh. I generally take fic-specific requests as more of… suggestions than anything, so I may or may not write them! But headcanons, go for it!
What I don’t write:
shit/puke (lmfao emetaphobia what it do baybeeee)
abo (I’m just not good at it skfjdkfj)
generally triggering content (ex. eds, self-harm)- that’s what my side log is for, we can go (sorta) crazy there!
Other random info that’s kinda important
Requests are usually always open but you’ll see on my main navi if they aren’t.... if I feel uncomfy with one, I will let you know! Everything is case by case tbh. Especially my nsfw reqs. But I will also give recs of other amazing writers I know!
I usually write with fem!readers- pls let me know if you’d like it to be gn! I can totally do that if you specify for me ☺️
Anything I do that’s NSFW is ALWAYS aged up- unless I specify otherwise. Literally don’t come for me unless I send for you. I do not have time to get into an ethics war with children over drawings.
Don’t. Repost. My shit. ANYWHERE. I feel like this goes without saying but a lot of you don’t listen so....
Heplful Tags
General updates about my life or non-work based posts are tagged #daisy.txt (you can block if ya want lol you don’t have to hear me ramble)
Witchy things I do from time to time are tagged under #daisy’s witching hour 🔮
I keep general tw tags for things like anxiety/depression, alcohol, and drug use, etc.- and they’re all v generic (ie: #tw anxiety) so you can block those if you need! If there’s a specific tw you’d like for me to post and I didn’t do so, firstly I’m super sorry! Secondly, pls send me a NICE dm or message and I’ll tag it! Keyword is nice pls don’t be an ass about it.
Writing:
Fluff warmups: #warmups 💐
Angst warmups: #warmups 🥀
Smut warmups: #warmups 😈
general fics are barely tagged sorry just go to my mlist you’ll find it I swear
Recs:
Recs of fics by other writers are tagged under #🌼s recs
Nsfw fic recs are tagged #demon time with daisy 😈
Interactions:
main tag: #incoming transmissions 🫧
anon tag: #voices from the ether
(specific emoji anons are found under #sweet baby _____)
moots tag: you’ll get your own special tag from me with your name haha
Queue:
Anything I queue will have the tag #q’d for my qts (important bc i do queue a lot of reqs from my milestone events!)
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☀ ♦ ♥ ☢ ✖
the salty af munday meme
☀ What’s your rp pet peeve? –> Ship forcing. This is literally the best way to get me to unfollow or even block another mun. I’ll explain what ship-forcing is below, but yeah, that’s one of them.
♦ What was a mildly annoying thing that has happened to you rp wise? –> See above. It happened once on my Warren blog, and once very recently on here. Now, a bit of a definition, here - I don’t see ship-forcing as asking me if I want to ship, or saying your muse has a crush on Braig - heck, that can be flattering (though I prefer if we know each other, first - it can get a bit uncomfy for me, kind of like virtual catcalling, I guess, when complete strangers tell me how attractive they think Braig is). I don’t see it as someone’s muse having feelings for Braig, one-sided or otherwise. All of these things are A-Okay, and can be quite fun, too! What I do see ship forcing is when someone asks if they can ship with Braig, and instantly, as soon as I say ‘we can give it a try’, deciding that our muses are suddenly soulmates, even if they’ve hardly said four sentences to each other, before. I see it as asking to ship, then immediately dropping the thread where they were actually in the process of meeting each other to have them now in the middle of a date, which, given the context of where, when, and how said date was taking place would likely have gotten them both killed. I see it as pestering Braig to do something ‘romantic’, having both Braig and I say no, he doesn’t want to, and the other person keeps pushing, regardless, or getting upset when Braig decides to respond with something not romantic and replying to that with some rude, snarky comment. ‘Uh, I think [muse] wanted Braig to do [X], actually’ - Yes, that has happened, before. I’ve been vagueblogged about, spammed on and off anon, been told I’ve made peoples’ depression/anxiety worse, had on-blog events ruined and muses killed and simply been harassed at all hours of the day because of ship-forcing and my trying to deal with it gently and politely, instead of just flat-out saying ‘no’ or ‘I’m not comfortable with this’. So, if it ever seems like I’m coming down too hard on someone in regards to shipping, I swear I don’t mean to come off as abrasive or rude - I just learned the hard way that you’ve gotta be blunt about your comfort zones or else things go south faster than a flock of geese on an adrenaline high. Basically, to sum this novel up: As long as you respect my boundaries, we’re good; if I haven’t told you you’re skeeving me out, we’re good. If I have told you you are, and you keep doing whatever it was, we’re not so good.
☢ What fads/trends are you so over? –> I don’t really keep up with trends enough to know lmao. I mean I guess I’ve seen a few, but they don’t really bother me. You do you, and all… Though, I guess I never entirely understood the whole ‘personified objects’ thing? I mean, you do you, and all, but it just never made sense to me.
✖ How has Tumblr RP changed since you started? –> It hasn’t, not really. I think the only real changes have been purely aesthetic, like small text, contained themes, etc. I really don’t care what other people do, as long as they’re happy and not hurting anyone.
♥ What’s the WORST thing that has happened to you rp wise?
[Under a cut for length]
Okay, so, I told two of my rp horror stories over on Xig, so I’ll tell my third one here. Since I gave the other two pseudonyms, we’ll call this one ‘Cheeper’. Cheeper was someone I had met when a mutual friend we’ll call Battery allegedly recommended my blog to them. Now, Battery was someone I had approximately zero problems with. Really friendly, sweet guy, talented writer, great sense of humour, one of my favourite people to write with. So, I figured, if Cheeper was a friend of Battery’s, they must be cool, too, right? … Wrong. So, things start out okay-ish, as they always do, but things get downhill pretty fast. Starts off with small things, like ignoring asks or dropping literally all of our threads without letting me know. And I understand wanting to drop threads or not being able to get to everything in your ask box, but when that happens consistently, it gets a little disheartening.
The next little thing was when they started making AUs of my muse, and expecting me to write them. Lemme say here that I am totally fine with people suggesting AUs for my muses. That’s where this blog came from, Rodi suggesting a Star Wars AU where another one of my muses was Obi’s padawan, so, again, I’m fine with AU prompts. What I’m not fine with is when someone writing a really detailed version of my muse without consulting me at all, and then expecting me to write that AU they made with no warning and no problems. Cheeper comes into my IMs listing this novel-length AU detailing not only how their muse changed, but how mine did, as well. Basically, the entire idea was that their muse, who in canon was a big tank-type character who had been straight-up abusive to multiple characters, and turned them into a small, fluffy little mage who was actually a good guy and hadn’t done any bad things, and was being forced to do the bad guys’ dirty work, whereas my muse… Was suddenly the abusive one. For absolutely no reason. In a way that not only completely contradicted all of my personal headcanons - all of which were posted and easily viewable on my blog - but also went against all of what canon had showed us about my muse, and quite frankly made me really uncomfortable. I mean, you’ve seen some of the stuff I’ve written, you know I’m down to write some pretty messed up stuff, but to straight up turn my muse into a child abuser, WITHOUT CONSULTING ME AT ALL, just so your muse can be the good guy? That doesn’t fly so well. On top of that, writing such a detailed version of my muse and expecting me to play it for you? Why not write it yourself? I mean like I said, I am thrilled with AU suggestions, but, hell, keep it to a sentence or two, tops. Let me experiment and develop my muse to fit the AU myself, thanks. … And, while these things were pretty irritating, especially when a few of them happened over and over again, it got worse.
A lot of the time, when I’m having OOC conversations to get to know another mun before we start writing together, I look for a sort of ‘spark’ or ‘click’ - something that shows this person and I are gonna get along. For a lot of people, including my favourite partners, this click is basically immediate - just this instant ‘wow, we’re gonna be good friends, this is great!’, and, for others, it takes a bit longer, and that’s totally okay! Some people take a while to open up, or maybe it wasn’t a good day for one of us, I totally get it, happens to me, too. How quickly the click happens has absolutely NO BEARING ON MY OPINION OF A PERSON WHATSOEVER. There have been I think only three or four times I haven’t clicked with someone - twice on Warren, once on Xig, and once here. If I message you first, send asks, tag you in things, like your posts, etc, we’ve clicked, don’t worry. Anyway, Cheeper was one of these rare occurrences where there was not only no click, there was the opposite of a click. At first I thought it was just ‘cause our first convo was a bit awkward - from what I remember, it was basically just ‘hi, My name is [Cheeper], I’m [Battery]’s friend and he recommended your blog so I thought I’d give you a follow’, you know, typical ‘hi, nice to meet you’ type thing, I didn’t think much of it. Unfortunately, that was the only pleasant conversation we had.
You see, Cheeper had the habit of starting conversations with some variation of ‘how are you?’. Doesn’t sound too bad, right? Well, in typical Canadian fashion, I always did my best to follow social protocol and be polite, and say ‘I’m good/fine/great, thanks, how are you?’, and, much like Han Solo, I learned that there are some situations you shouldn’t ask that question. Every time, without fail, Cheeper would say some variation of ‘bad’ or ‘horrible’, and proceed to dump literally all their life’s problems on me, and I mean all of them. I’m perfectly fine with letting my friends vent/rant to me as much as they need, and offering advice is a pass-time of mine. But, I had only known this person for- Less than a week, when this started (I hardly even knew their NAME I had to look it up on their blog), and they kept going on and on about some really personal shit, like hours of how they hated their job and school was stressful, and their family was aphobic and never used the right pronouns, literally everything about their personal life, no matter how private it was, just- Constant negativity, all the time. It was literally all they spoke about, ever. I don’t know anything else about them, just that their life was terrible and they decided to use me as some sort of verbal stress ball. Even if I tried to divert the conversation to a different topic, or just ignore them entirely, I’d still get floods of negativity and complaints. And what makes it even better? They had a frickin therapist! This person, who had a professional, trained therapist, would spend hours unloading all of their mental/emotional burdens on me, an untrained stranger who had only said ‘hi’ to them once. And, after they had dumped all their baggage on me, they’d say, ‘oh, gotta go, it’s time to go to my therapist’. And, honestly? That was the only time I felt safe to post on my blog. Yes, you read that right - it was the only time I felt safe to post on my own blog. I honestly could not make a post on my blog without Cheeper spamming my IMs with boatloads of stress-inducing negativity. And, call me selfish, call me insensitive, call me whatever you want, but, fuck, I had my own problems! I was in university, trying to get law school level grades, while working a part time job to try and help my family out when we were struggling financially, doing what I could to make sure there was enough food in the fridge for my younger brothers, trying to help my grandma take care of my grandpa, trying to keep up with my martial arts - which I have to do in order to keep my job - and trying to write multiple essays for both my younger brother and myself, as we were prepping for our black sash tests, but he was also trying to get into film school, so I’d volunteered to write the sash essays for him, and, let me tell you, I did not need to play counsellor to someone I didn’t even know on top of that. And, like I said, this happened constantly, and I’d get a new flood of messages every time I so much as hinted at being online.
And believe it or not, it got worse, Sakrine.
I remember there was one conversation we had (’conversation’ being used loosely, of course) towards the end of our interactions where Cheeper was complaining at me, as per usual, and mentioned how all of their friends were blocking them without saying why. Funnily enough, I was planning on blocking them soon, myself (probably should have done it a long time ago). But, lo and behold, right after saying how they were always getting blocked, Cheeper goes and says ‘but you’d never block me, so at least I have you. You’re my best friend, Jay’. And I’m sitting here really uncomfortable because, uh, no, we’re not best friends, and I have no idea what gave them that idea, since I never told them anything of the sort, and in fact barely spoke to to them at all, both because I didn’t much care for their company, and because I could hardly get a word in edgewise - and, even if I could, how does one respond to a total stranger badgering you for advice on how to deal with their family not handling their being out well? I’m not out to my family, and I don’t think I ever will be, so, again, how can I give that sort of advice to someone I don’t know?
About the time this was happening was when I met and was chatting with Rodi, who’s actually one of my best friends and the light of my life. Like I mentioned above, it was at her suggestion that I decided to make this li’l OC mess that we know and love here. He was originally gonna be a verse on my other blog, until I realised that I’d have tags for a Jedi verse, a padawan verse, a Sith verse, etc., and that was too many for one AU, so I made a sideblog. Then, after only a day of having that, and a bit of encouragement from both Rodi and Milla (my main Talon), I made this stand-alone blog for my son, and I was having a great time.
Cheeper, however, was not, and made sure I knew it.
Now, my muse for that blog had been steadily dying, mostly because of this, but also for a few other, more minor reasons, and I felt way more comfortable here, was having more fun, and generally just enjoying myself way more on this blog than the other, so, naturally, this is where I spent most of my time. Within a day or two of my neglecting Xig, Cheeper pops into the IMs to complain about me, to me. Yes, I am dead serious, this is an actual thing that happened. They start badgering me to go back to my other blog, and, I dunno if this has ever happened to you, but, it’s really disheartening. I explained to Cheeper that I felt more comfortable on this blog (though I didn’t tell them why I felt that way on Xig; Perhaps I should’ve), that I had more drafts and asks on this blog, and that I had more muse for this character at the moment, so I’d be spending my time over here, at least for a little bit. Their oh-so-eloquent response was, and this is a verbatim quote, ‘boo, you suck.’ And I had absolutely no idea how to respond to that, so I didn’t. I just sat there, staring, feeling an interesting concoction of shocked, annoyed, and offended. About a minute later, they added a ‘lol, just kidding’, and proceeded to… Continue… To complain about me, as well as about their life and still expected me to give them advice and solutions I didn’t have. I’ve never had someone act more entitled to my time and energy as this person did.
Now, I know what you’re probably thinking - ‘they were probably just some kid, Jay, young people can be like that at times, you’re taking it too hard’, and, hey, I thought so, too. I was nineteen years old when this was happening; Cheeper was around 24 or 25. Yup, this person was about five or six years older than me, and a grown-ass adult the entire time. And like I said, they were constantly acting entitled to everything I did, like I owed them something. There was another time where I’d actually gotten a bit of muse for my other blog back, so I went on, answered a bunch of asks, slammed out some drafts, sent some memes, answered some IMs… It was a really productive evening for me. Once I was finished, I came back here and got a bit more done. Next morning rolls around, and Cheeper messages me with ‘I miss you, dude. You’re never on Xig, any more.’ I tell them that, actually I’d been on last night, for a few hours, at least. Their response? ‘Well, I wasn’t on.’, after which they kept complaining about how much they missed my muse and my writing. I get this was probably supposed to be flattering, but it really wasn’t? Especially considering that, while they were going on and on about how much they missed me and wanted to write with me, they were completely ignoring the THREE STARTERS I had written for them in the weeks leading up to this point. Hadn’t even given them a like, which I like to do to let someone know that, even if I’m slow as all Hell - which I tend to be - I have seen it, and it’s in my drafts. So, I mentioned this to Cheeper, said ‘you know, I have a couple starters for you on the other blog, why don’t you check those out?’ ‘Oh, I didn’t see them, I’ll give them a look.’ And then, blissfully, they stopped messaging. Little while later, a few days, I got another message from them (keep in mind I never contacted them or interacted with them first, since, rude as it may sound, I was kind of hoping they’d get the message), and once again they were whining about how I was never on Xig again, so I went to check the starters again, and… Still no notes. So I ask them about the starters, and they say ‘I couldn’t find them’. You know how I looked them up? [my blog’s url]/tagged/[cheeper’s url], and, bam. There they were. I told Cheeper this and even sent them the link to their tag. They said okay, that they’d check it out later, and started complaining about their life again. I was serious when I said this was the only thing they talked about, outside of basically harassing me to write with them. Few days later, they get on my case AGAIN for not being on Xig/not rping with them. I check the THREE FUCKING STARTERS again, STILL NO NOTES. I ask, and ‘oh I just don’t have muse for them right now lol’. And I’m left sitting here like, okay, do you really want to write with me, or are you just mad I’m not dedicating all of my attention to you and your godawful AU muses? I mean, I have NOTHING against AU muses - that’s where this kiddo came from, after all - but AUS WHERE THEY PUSHED MY CHARACTER TO BE A FUCKING CHILD ABUSER WERE APPARENTLY ALL THEY HAD MUSE FOR. And my character was a moral fuckhead I admit but he WASN’T OVERTLY ABUSIVE THAT WAS ONE OF THE REASONS I WAS COOL PLAYING HIM AS THE ANTAGONIST HE WAS AND JUST. And as well, when I have no muse, it’s apparently a major fuckin’ disaster and they complain to the ends of the earth about it and go on and on about how I should still be writing that character and how much they miss me, but when THEY have no muse I have to accommodate it and make allowances and write with them anyway???? Like???
So anyway yeah they proceeded to ignore those starters for months, and every time I posted a new starter call,they’d like that, I’d post a starter, they’d completely ignore it, then come crying and complaining to me, berating me and all but sobbing about how much they missed me.
BUT IT GETS WORSE STILL, SAKRINE.
After a while, Cheeper starts asking me about Star Wars. And I’m torn between ‘fuck no, this is my new safe place, and I’m TRYING TO BE SAFE FROM YOU’ and ‘well maybe if they get into this series they’ll stop getting upset with me for not writing on a blog I have no muse for and am not comfortable on’. So they ask me what they need to watch to understand Star Wars. I tell them to watch the movies, since those are the unchanging canon, no matter what Disney did to the Legends material. Apparently they don’t even have the attention span for their favourite show, so they can’t watch the movies. They complain to me about that for a while, because apparently I care. I did not. I tell them that everything Star Wars - or at least, in the era I write in - revolves around those movies. I tell them they can just watch the PT (and explain what the different trilogies are) and that will get them caught up with where I write. Nope, can’t do that. So I tell them there are book versions of the movies they can read, instead, and there are also comics and stuff they can look into if that would be better.
Nope, don’t have the attention span for books.
Complain about that to me for a while, then ask what they absolutely HAVE to watch to understand.
I tell them about the Clone Wars show, give them a link to the relevant KissCartoon page. They ask how long the show is - I tell them the number of seasons (mention that 6 is unfinished), and the average length of an episode.
Nope, don’t have the attention span for that, either.
They reiterate that they hardly have the attention span for their favourite show, and once again complain to me before asking me what the /HAVE TO WATCH/ to understand.
I tell them that they’re free to try interacting with my muse on their KH blogs, since I’m open to crossovers and still, for some ungodly reason, trying to be civil.
They keep asking about star wars.
I mention the video games.
Don’t have the attention span for video games.
So this person, who apparently can’t watch movies or TV shows, or read books or comics, or play video games, is asking me what source material they need to know to roleplay a Star Wars verse.
I, as a last-ditch and mostly sarcastic effort, give them a link to Wookieepedia. I’m a terrible person, I know.
…
They don’t have the patience to look through the wiki pages.
I’m all but smashing my face against the keyboard now, while this person is COMPLAINING TO ME ABOUT HOW LONG STAR WARS IS.
I mean I get it’s a lot but I tried to break it down?? And last I checked I’m not George Lucas like I’m sorry but it’s not my fault, my problem, or in my power to change? And I tell them it’s 40 years worth of worldbuilding and try to help them break it down again and they just KEEP FUCKING COMPLAINING.
And after like. Two hours of me trying to reason with them and help them out they say ‘I’m not even interested in star Wars, I just want to write with you’.
And now, maybe I’m reading into it too much. Maybe I listen to too many narrated Let’s Not Meet videos too late at night. But holy shit, I have never felt like I had a legitimate stalker until that moment. It was one of the most uncomfortable things that has ever happened to me. I had zero idea how to respond, and so again I don’t think I did. Or, if I did, it was to again try to explain to them that there was a lot of material, and they should [leavemethefuckalone] focus on things they were interested in, especially if they didn’t think they could handle just the show. So they complain to me about that for a bit, before moving on to other topics to whine about. Always comes back to how I’m not writing with them any more (meanwhile, the countless starters I’ve written them are still being ignored, as are any and all threads we had on the go at the time. Everything’s either been ignored, abandoned, or both, all without letting me know.).I honestly don’t remember how that conversation ended. Just thinking about it makes me blank out and get a sort of mild pins-and-needles feeling. I mean, I get it was probably supposed to be flattering, and if we had been friends it might have been, but coming from this person? Alarm bells were ringing like a retro emergency evac PSE.
AND IT GETS WORSE STILL, BECAUSE FOR SOME REASON I STILL PUT UP WITH THIS PERSON.
So, enter me, just going back to uni for the spring/early summer semester. Our stage sets itself in my campus’ bookstore, at about noon or one o’clock in the afternoon. The line from the bookstore stretches from the counter, at one end of the store, wraps around the perimeter of that very large, very spacious room that was at one point a lecture hall, goes through the hall to the next room which also used to be a massive classroom, wraps around that and goes out the back door. I had to get up for an 8:30 that was across the field that day. I had non-stop class until this point, I had had no breakfast (though I think I had a sip of orange juice to keep from conking out), I had been waiting in line for close to an hour, my arms were full of heavy textbooks I dreaded having to pay for, and I only had one hand free for typing, and there was a chance I’d be late to my next class if this line didn’t get moving. As you can imagine, I wasn’t much in the mood for talking (though I think I made the effort for Rodi and Maddie (my best friend from public school who I still talk to) since I enjoy talking to them and it made me feel a bit better). Anyway, I’m in line, tired, irate, and scrolling through tumblr, and Cheeper messages me with a ‘hey’. Oh fuck, I think, this isn’t good. I greet them anyway - just a ‘hi’. I’m only giving one word answers at this point, since I’m not in a chatty mood, and, as I mentioned, I’m typing with just my thumb and that fucking sucks and takes forever, and I’m also trying to keep my place in line. Cheeper starts asking me about school, and I’m very confused, because never once in the months I’d known them had they ever taken an interest in me or my life. ‘so you’re in university right’ they ask. I remember most of this conversation word for word, and you’ll see why. ‘yeah’, I reply. ‘What year?’ they ask; ‘Second \o/’ I say, adding an emoji b/c I love that one. ‘Cool, what’s your major?’ they ask, and I’m getting hopeful that maybe they’ve turned a new leaf and my patience with them has been rewarded. So I tell them ‘Classics \O/’ with a slightly more excited emoji, and they tell me that’s cool, mention their major is in foreign languages - I think Chinese? Maybe Spanish? This is the one message I can never remember in its entirety, because the next one almost knocked me over. I replied with ‘cool’, and a half second later, Cheeper asks,
“Are you out to your family yet?”
This complete fucking stranger, this grown-ass adult I barely knew, straight up asked me if I was out to my family, yet. I have never been asked that question before or since. I am out only to people on tumblr, and a small group of my most trusted friends from high school. And this person had the fucking audacity to ask me right out if I was.
I was shocked.
I will not lie to you, I almost dropped my phone. I think I stopped breathing for a second, and I nearly lost my place in line. I was torn between just being frozen and being fucking livid. After a moment when I didn’t respond, they added, ‘Can I ask that?’ And I swear those two messages are tattooed into my mind.
“Are you out to your family yet?”
Holy fuck.
So I manage to collect myself enough to type out ‘no, I’m not’.
‘Damn,’ they say. ‘Because my mom keeps messing up my pronouns and I wanted to know if you have any advice.’
Because why the fuck else would they care about me, right?
And then they proceeded to complain about their life and their aphobic family to me AGAIN, for HOURS, but at that point I’d been ignoring their messages and was instead talking to Maddie for advice on how to handle the situation. I had no idea what to do. I was lost. Like. I wanted to block them so bad but they’d been subtly guilt-tripping me about it for so long (’you’d never block me, you’re my best friend’ was just the start of that, tbh) that I felt bad for it? And Maddie was just like ‘jay no that’s fucked up get rid of them’ and I did.
I have never once regretted it and holy fuck it feels amazing to get this shit off my chest.
And yeah, so.
That was one of my worst RP experiences.
Are you out to your family yet.
I’d sell them to Satan for half a stale corn chip I swear to Christ.
#n1hr1k#&& give the sun a head start; ooc#I wrote you an essay sakrine im sorry#&& as best i can; answers
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