#because i haven’t been able to stop thinking about how they’re literally making sure i won’t have to eat apples

[jam-borre]

I’m 14 years old. A couple of months before the writers strike was announced I told my best friend that I want to be a screenwriter when I grow up. He told me I’d be eating apples if I did. What he meant by that, is that if I chose to go down that path in my life I would only be able to afford to eat apples for all my meals. In other words, this little teenage twerp that didn’t even know enough about the world to know that apples aren’t actually the cheapest food, knew that things are fucked up for writers. It scared me, like genuinely. The idea that I’d have to give up on my dream for financial stability was lowkey starting to get to me. When I heard about the strike my first thought was “maybe I won’t have to eat apples.” The wga is fighting for themselves and each other, but they’re also fighting for me, and for the next generation of people who want to do what they do. From the moment I learned about the strike, it’s given me hope, like genuine fucking hope and it’s insane it’s like the entire fucking wga is giving me head pats and telling me that they’re gonna make everything alright and i will do everything in my power to help them because they are really really fucking helping me

[ennabear]

i beg of you to write more mean abby.. i reread all of ur mean abby works religiously i swear i just love her too much ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა

ʕ≧ᴥ≦ʔ NONNIEEEEE STOP THIS JS TOO SWEET!!!! IM BLUSHING IM BLUSHING I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!! sorry this is a lil bit messy, i haven’t really had time to lock in on anything official I HOPE THATS OKAY!!!! here are some thoughts… 18+

i think mean!abby is one of those people who are discreetly rich. she’s not the type of person to go on big fancy vacations, or buy expensive sports cars, or to always have the newest technology. before she met you, she probably spent most of her money on books or expensive brands of tea imported from countries she’s never even heard of. after she met you, though? she’d swipe her card a million times a day to see you smile.

the best way i can describe her personality is like some old cranky grandpa, the scary guy on the block who never smiles but is very confrontational. if you’ve seen her around, you’d know that she’s always wearing a scowl, only leaves her penthouse apartment early to go to the gym, and has beef with most of her neighbors. but if you know know her? she’s a sweetie pie. she loves spontaneous sweet treats, slow dancing to 70’s music, old horror films (mean!abby letterboxd goes CRAZY i just know), and most shockingly, her cats.

and she LOVES those fuckers. it’s so perfect how she can have a companion who’s quiet and small and independent, and two of them? barely any responsibility. they have an automatic feeder, entertain each other, and only bug her about once a day for attention.

as for her job, i could see her having two possibilities. one being an extreme workaholic. maybe an office job or a surgeon or something?? (NOT a nurse because they’re supposed to be good at talking to people…) OR she only really works part time, some freelance job that doesn’t really have any rules. a photographer or a tattoo artist or some sort of small business that she can mostly manage on her own. money has never been an issue for her, coming from a family of doctors. her ass was spoiled rotten as a kid, and after her dad died she inherited all of that money.

she’s the biggest protector in the world. someone was talking shit about you? she’s breaking their nose right now actually. i think the biggest reason she’s “mean” is because she actually just has anxiety. the last time she felt a love this strong, it was for her dad. she can’t afford to lose you like she lost him, so she always has to make sure you’re safe and sound. it’s not like she’s trying to be controlling by texting you every half hour, she just worries that maybe she won’t be able to protect you for once, and it’ll be at the worst possible time.

ok lock in here are some nsfw thoughts :3

you know that trope that’s like “big mean stoic character is actually the subbiest bottomest little puppy in the whole world.” yeah…. if you don’t agree what are you still doing here.

it definitely took her a while to be this vulnerable, but jesus christ is it worth it!!! the way you get to watch her squirm and whimper underneath you, knowing that you’re the only one who can make her feel this way. to give your big protective guard dog girlfriend a night off, to take care of her in return for all that she does for you.

and she lovessss being tied up!!!! something about the intimacy of knowing you’re gonna give her a good time makes her submit to you almost instantly. she has to trust you on this, has sit back and relax and let her brain melt because she physically can’t do anything about it.

when she does dom i imagine she’s a pretty big brat tamer. c’mon, not everyone has the luxury of having a girlfriend like her. if you don’t act grateful she’ll whip you in to shape. literally. she’s not afraid of a good spanking.

also she’s strapped up 24/7 but this is canon in every universe… no matter what she’s doing or where she’s going or who she’s gonna meet, the strap stays ON!!! just in case she may need it….

but she’s the aftercare QUEEN. of course. apart from the basics like food, water, cuddles, etc. she has tonssss of knowledge on proper aftercare. you’d never have to worry about being hurt or getting a uti or feeling unloved because she’s read every forum to exist about aftercare!!! i just know this bitch runs a tumblr kink blog like it’s the military… 🤦

that’s all…. going to eep now……

[loaksky]

no thoughts other than professor!abby / coworker!abby and the holiday stocking ! this is like 80 percent backstory bc who am i to not blabber about my new favorite trope...full length fic abt them in the works oops! not proofread + no warnings other than language!

tlou masterlist | main masterlist

⋆.ೃ࿔ first let’s set the scene by establishing that abby’s probably a tenure-track professor in a hyper specific literature study or maybe cross-teaches a course or two in the women and gender studies department. you’re a new educator probably teaching english 101?

⋆.ೃ࿔ abby first sees you at the faculty meeting for her department during the late summer and is immediately enamored.

⋆.ೃ࿔ by some stroke of luck, she finds that she’s been assigned to your neighboring office and her final lecture is held in the hall across from yours.

⋆.ೃ࿔ abby’s usually pretty good about the timing of her lectures and she ends up finishing 10-15 minutes early every session. so sometimes she hears the tail end of your lessons and can’t help but think you’re so fucking brilliant.

⋆.ೃ࿔ the students are taken by you too, usually not paying any mind to professors that teach lower level classes, but you’re animated and hands-on, and abby realizes that maybe she should take a page from your book.

⋆.ೃ࿔ literally can’t work up the courage to say anything to you first and is so surprised when she’s having an internal warfare one day while she’s locking up the lecture hall and you slink past her.

⋆.ೃ࿔ “have a good weekend dr. anderson!”

⋆.ೃ࿔ nearly short circuits because how in the fuck do you know her name? (hint hint: you haven’t been able to get a grip after seeing her in the same faculty meeting she’d basically fallen head over heels for you at).

⋆.ೃ࿔ for the life of her, can’t get her shit together over the weekend. is so scatterbrained because the hot new professor knows her name?? practically spirals because that means that she’s been perceived and she has no idea if it’s a good or bad thing because what do you think of her ???

⋆.ೃ࿔ runs into you bright and early monday morning as she’s about to duck into her office and she wants to make a beeline for the safety of her ergonomic chair, but you look a little frazzled and she’s speaking before she can stop herself.

⋆.ೃ࿔ “everything alright?” she asks as you miss the slot for the keyhole a few times and blow out a shaky sigh.

⋆.ೃ࿔ notices you’re carrying a fuckton of things and is wordlessly grabbing your stack of folders and taking your heavy knapsack from you as you finally get the key in the keyhole.

⋆.ೃ࿔ “thank you so much,” you say, voice thick with unshed tears. “i just, fuck, shit, sorry, that wasn’t professional—”

⋆.ೃ࿔ and she could melt because you’re so cute.

⋆.ೃ࿔ “i don’t think i saved the form for midterm grades on my laptop and the battery just crapped out on me, and i’m pretty sure i just missed the deadline and—”

⋆.ೃ࿔ “hey, breathe, breathe,” abby says gently, hands involuntarily smoothing over your shoulders. “you’re okay, it’s okay. shit happens.”

⋆.ೃ࿔ “god, i’m such a idiot.” you scrub your hands down your face. “the upper level professors were right, i do suck—”

⋆.ೃ࿔ “whoa, whoa,” abby calls out sternly, expression horrified. “who said that?”

⋆.ೃ࿔ “it’s not important,” you whisper, blowing out another breath and squeezing your eyes shut as you shake your hands to try to calm yourself. “they’re not wrong.”

⋆.ೃ࿔ “who.” and abby is no longer asking, arms bulging in her oxford shirt as she crosses her arms over her chest and stares down at you.

⋆.ೃ࿔ “dr. paige and mr. ruiz,” you say quietly, fidgeting under such a steely gaze.

⋆.ೃ࿔ abby just makes a noise in her throat, uncrosses her arms and tilts her head towards your desktop computer.

⋆.ೃ࿔ “if you were working on the submission form on your faculty account, it automatically syncs to the cloud both on and offline,” she says. “there’s usually a grace period until the final scheduled lecture for the day which is in...” she glances at her wrist watch, “in about an hour.”

⋆.ೃ࿔ you’re rounding your desk, practically throwing yourself in your chair as you boot up the computer and log into your faculty portal. your cheeks are flushed warm and eyes wide as your gaze flits across the screen.

⋆.ೃ࿔ you deflate in relief after a few clicks to find that professor anderson’s absolutely correct, and there’s the form in all it’s glory, cursor blinking and ready to be completed and submitted.

⋆.ೃ࿔ “holy shit, thank you so much,” you whisper.

⋆.ೃ࿔ when you look up, she’s already stormed halfway out of your office.

⋆.ೃ࿔ “dr. paige and i would just like to extend a sincere apology for our words regarding your tenure here,” mr. ruiz says after they corner you in the staffroom a few mornings later.

⋆.ೃ࿔ your eyebrows are knitting together momentarily before it dawns on you like a splash of cold water.

⋆.ೃ࿔ it explains why professor anderson had been in such a hurry to leave your office after assisting you a few mornings ago.

⋆.ೃ࿔ “s’okay,” you shrug.

⋆.ೃ࿔ “it’s really not,” dr. paige says. “it was immature and uncalled for to make such comments, and such shouldn’t be taken lightly.”

⋆.ೃ࿔ a sudden movement outside of the window catches your eye, and you’re grinning when you see the familiar flash of dirty blonde.

⋆.ೃ࿔ “really, it’s no hard feelings,” you assure them. “now if you’ll excuse me.”

⋆.ೃ࿔ you’re breaking away from them to duck out of the staffroom and surprise surprise, abigail anderson is standing a few metres from the door, arms crossed over her chest.

⋆.ೃ࿔ “are you eavesdropping dr. anderson?” you tease.

⋆.ೃ࿔ she doesn’t even bother to hide it, answering with a firm and resounding, “yes.”

⋆.ೃ࿔ that earns a full-bellied laugh out of you and she realizes that she’s so fucking whipped.

⋆.ೃ࿔ “you’re a wonderful professor,” abby assures you. “your students love you and you’ve already accomplished such great things in the department.”

⋆.ೃ࿔ you can’t help but flush and an awkward but cute silence dawns the two of you after you murmur a quiet “thank you”

⋆.ೃ࿔ “where’s your next session?” dr. anderson breaks the ice. “i’ll walk you.”

⋆.ೃ࿔ the two of you end up getting a lot closer over the rest of the semester and abby starts to get a little frustrated with herself for waiting for so long to actually talk to you.

⋆.ೃ࿔ because you’re practically perfect; so sweet, insanely intelligent, and it’s just the icing on top that you’re probably one of the prettiest girls she’s ever seen and you’ve got an equally pretty ass to match (abby is an ass girl IDC !)

⋆.ೃ࿔ heart is in shambles because you’ve learned how she likes her coffee and frequently bring her one first thing before your string of lectures start.

⋆.ೃ࿔ also, more often than not, the two of you are spending lunch hours together whether you’re grabbing a quick bite from one of the dining halls, splurging a little to eat lunch at an actual establishment, or killing time at the nearby bookstore a few blocks from the campus center.

⋆.ೃ࿔ long story short, you and abby have been spending so much time together and she knows she really likes you, but she can’t find it in herself to say anything because she doesn’t wanna scare you off with such a strong bout of emotions.

⋆.ೃ࿔ but literally everyone sees it! and it’s not necessarily that you’re oblivious, but abby’s accomplished, a really well-loved professor by both the department and her students, and even if there isn’t a ring on her finger, you’re convinced that abby’s got to have someone special in her life...it’s literally you.

⋆.ೃ࿔ even the students see it! dr. anderson’s been lagging recently during her last time slot and it doesn’t take long for a few students who love her especially so to see the way it takes her a little while longer to pack up and how she lingers out in the hall as your class ends!

⋆.ೃ࿔ “have a good weekend dr. anderson!” her last two students chime as they part ways with her. one of them glances over his shoulder and sees you filing out with a group of students from the adjacent classroom. “good luck.”

⋆.ೃ࿔ and abby’s beet fucking red when you finally lock up and ask her what that was about.

⋆.ೃ࿔ fast forward to now, it’s the final week before students are set to go home for the holidays and she’s a little down in the dumps because not only will she not get to see you for almost a month, but she’s usually alone this time of year and it’s agonizing to think that maybe you’ll be going home to someone else.

⋆.ೃ࿔ unbeknownst to her, you’ve been really nervous because maybe you’d overheard her talking to an adjunct professor, owen, about how she’d never gotten a personalized stocking made for her in response to seeing the one hanging on his shelf that his wife and kid had made for him this year, and perhaps you’d watched a couple youtube videos on stocking decorating and went out to buy the supplies right after.

⋆.ೃ࿔ admittedly, the last few days, the two of you are distant, her because she’s sad, and you because you’re probably spending every waking moment trying to think of ways to make the stocking perfect and you’re so in your head that you don’t even notice her change in demeanor.

⋆.ೃ࿔ and you try to make it perfect, really want abby to love her gift, so you fiddle around with it until the last possible moment.

⋆.ೃ࿔ you’re also nervous as fuck as you peer over your shoulder thursday afternoon, hoping dr. anderson doesn’t catch you in the act of staging her gift because frankly you’re too shy to give it to her.

⋆.ೃ࿔ even though you and dr. anderson are on great terms, she’s still so intimidating and you don’t trust yourself to make an ass of yourself, so you relay your message through a pretty piece of cardstock and tuck it into the bag before you’re scurrying off for the end of the semester.

⋆.ೃ࿔ finally, it’s the final day that campus will be open and abby’s trudging up to her office, only really intending to gather the last of what she’ll need since the buildings will be locked throughout the duration of holiday break, but she’s stopped dead in her tracks when she sees the sizable gift bag hanging on her doorknob.

⋆.ೃ࿔ “what that—”

⋆.ೃ࿔ she’s carefully moving around the tissue paper and her heart catches in her throat when she sees a blue stocking bulging with different treats and even a book! with her name carefully stitched on the band.

⋆.ೃ࿔ her first knee jerk reaction is that maybe owen pitied her and made her one, but a matching blue envelope catches her eye and she’s fishing it out of the bag.

⋆.ೃ࿔ recognizes your handwriting from the whiteboards when she’s stealing peeks into your classroom.

⋆.ೃ࿔ cheeks are flaming and stomach is tying in knots as she reads your note.

⋆.ೃ࿔ Firstly, I’m really disappointed I couldn’t deliver this to you in person, but my flight leaves for home on Friday... :( Nonetheless, you’ve been such a wonderful office neighbor and even more wonderful colleague. I truly can’t string together an adequate way to express how grateful I am to work alongside someone as kind and thoughtful as you, Dr. Anderson. You’ve quickly become such a dear friend and I hope you have a wonderful holiday! See you next year! ˆ<3

⋆.ೃ࿔ the fucking heart...the fucking heart!!! literally it’s all abby can fixate on before she realizes that there’s an ass of things tucked in the stocking and not only did you take the time to handstitch onto the fabric, but you took the time to gather things she didn’t even realize you knew she liked.

⋆.ೃ࿔ is unlocking her office so that she can pour the contents of the stocking onto her desk and she nearly dissipates into a pile of goo right then and there because there’s a few packs of her favorite gum (wintergreen), a set of her absolute favorite ballpoint pens (because gel pens are too runny for her liking), a giftcard to her usual coffee shop (“since I won’t be there to bring you your order” according to the note scrawled on the holder), a thick pair of argyle socks in her favorite colorway, and finally, there’s an annotated version of this is how you lose the time war.

⋆.ೃ࿔ and it has to mean something; your book choice and how you raved about it weeks prior during an excursion with abby to the public library, and you’d pulled the copy off the shelf and asked her if she’d read it.

⋆.ೃ࿔ “no,” she answered simply. “never caught my eye.”

⋆.ೃ࿔ “you should read it,” you’d said quietly. “their love was beautiful.”

⋆.ೃ࿔ and she’d never admit it, but she’d checked it out the following morning and blew through the book so fast, heart pounding in her chest as she realized that it was about two women in love. and, god, this has to mean something, she’d continue to agonize, even until this current moment.

⋆.ೃ࿔ and here an annotated version sits, your thoughts and inner feelings inking the pages. it makrs abby bubble with equal parts hope and sadness. sadness because it seems like way too long until she’ll see you again, and hope because maybe this means something more for the two of you in the future.

⋆.ೃ࿔ who knows, really. but abby’s certain that this holiday will feel a little less lonelier with her heart a lot more fuller.

neng © 2023

[everybodyhatesmiddleschool]

It has been six excruciating days since I was plunged into the Bridgerton fandom against my will.

I was minding my own business, watching YouTube compilations of the best kisses in TV history, when I unwittingly clicked on a video about Colin and Penelope, and I was immediately down so bad for them.

Let me be clear: Bridgerton was not part of my life before I clicked on that video. I wanted nothing to do with it; I had no intention of ever watching or reading that smut. And then, without warning, it swept in and took me in the night, much like Colin Bridgerton in the back of a carriage.

To say I have been lost in the sauce these past six days would be a gross understatement. The carriage scene is literally ruining my life. I haven’t gone to sleep before 1 a.m. since Sunday, and I have been over an hour late to work every day. Why? Because I cannot stop consuming that godforsaken scene — watching gifs of it over and over, reading y’all’s hilarious takes and memes about it, watching it with the audio descriptions turned on (🥵), watching it with the music removed (🥵🥵), watching Luke and Nicola on their press tour, watching, watching, watching.

Have I started actually watching season 1 of the show? Of course. Did I check out the large-print version of the first book from the library since it was the only copy available? You bet. But I do not care about these other characters and storylines. I want it to be Colin and Penelope on the screen and the page in every sentence and every scene.

And either fortunately or unfortunately, I don’t even have to be looking at a screen to be distracted by them — my daydreaming has never been as maladaptive in my life as it has been this week. I can hardly think of one ten-minute stretch in the past six days in which some imaginary scenario has not been taking over my brain. I want to be part of their world so bad — not just Bridgerton, but Shondaland. As is the case for 90% of all of my daydreams, I want these actors to know I exist. I want them to look at me with just as much awe and love as I look at them. So I might be staring at my computer screen in my cubicle, but in my mind, I’m on a press tour of my own that intersects with theirs. (I’m never the desperate fan with no life in my dreams; my idols always see me as their equal). I might be driving my commute in my car, but in my mind, they’re congratulating me about my own novel being optioned by Netflix. I might be brushing my teeth in my bathroom, but in my mind, we’re laughing together on Graham Norton’s couch.

But Lord, here comes that freaking carriage scene once again, inserting itself into my mind (pun unavoidable). I cannot get over it. I’m so stuck there that I’ve found myself wearing shoes I don’t remember putting on, carrying coffee mugs I don’t remember putting in my bag, driving a speed limit I don’t remember agreeing to as acceptable. There is laundry that needs to be folded. Bills need to be paid. Emails need to be deleted en masse without reading. But I can’t find the door that will let me out of this damn carriage.

I had a conversation with myself two days ago about how we might be able to adapt to this new living situation. After a few temper tantrums, I finally said, “Girl, if you’re going to watch this scene 1,000 times, you have got to find a way to make it a constructive part of your life.” So I did what any rational adult would do: I started writing a scholarly paper about why it’s so powerful — not just for me but, according to the internet, for a lot of women. And I have every intention of writing an entire paper about this … if I can find the time. I’m just so busy right now with consuming this damn scene.

Was starting to write that article enough to satiate my obsession with this scene, with this show and these actors? Of course not. So this morning, I started writing a spicy scene of my own, featuring not Colin and Penelope but two other vaguely outlined characters who I’m sure I’ll give names and personalities to later. I was literally sitting in my cubicle, hunched over my planner, writing down snippets of sexiness in as small a print as possible in case someone walked up on me and looked over my shoulder without me noticing. And I’m not gonna lie: this shit’s good. I’ve never written smut before, because I’ve never had enough spice in my own life to feel like I’d be able to do it justice on paper. But that imagination of mine — she’s a freak. And my mind? My mind has moved way past the gutter. It is now in the outhouse. It’s in the slop with the pigs.

It should have come as no surprise, but as usual, the act of actually writing down the jumble of mess in my brain has had the effect of breaking some of the spell. I was also forced to focus on work because of looming deadlines, and I currently feel calmer than I have since Sunday. But I am truly living in fear of June 13. I cannot go through this again, and I know that I’m bound to, because I know that what’s been shown so far won’t hold a candle to what’s coming. And if I get down bad any further, I will be deep enough in the ground for this to become my final resting place. I’m not ready to be buried, but it feels inevitable.

But somehow, despite my own wants and fears, and despite the fact that we haven’t even been introduced yet to the bedroom where Colin and Penelope are sure to end up, I am somehow already lurking from behind the window curtains in the corner, peeking out at them doing the deed. I know what I hope I’ll see: based on the excerpt I’ve seen from the book, they will be in front of a mirror — expressly because Colin wants Penelope to see herself in full for the glorious goddess she is, and she will look at her sexy, bare self with just as much pride and love as we viewers behind the screen will (but probably with slightly less lust than Colin, who I pray will be very loud about how hot she is).

I am dreaming about this scene, but I dread it. Because if it’s as good as the carriage scene, I will immediately be re-enscripted and sent right back to the trenches where I spent the last six days. I’m excited, but I’m scared. And I’m afraid of getting lost in the woods again, because I know that if I do, I won’t want to be found.

[muniimyg]

+ extra ! in our forever

series m.list

note: omg hiii ??? helloo ??? okok this was supposed to be posted for yoongi’s birthday... then i planned it to be written in time for my birthday/bts birthday... now it’s being posted mid summer.... like hello? where did the time go? i felt so stuck writing this extra because it feels more like the ending than the actual ending ? does that make sense lol... i planned to write their first kiss scene but honestly i don’t think i’ll be able to do so [unless i get the random urge to write it instead of studying for a final or smt] ! hoping to back more regularly when my work schedule stops being a bitch <3 slowly but surely,, my fics will continue to be deleted off my notes/drafts and pushed out frfr. thank u all of ur patience ,, i TRULY miss u all... laughing with u guys after every update literally gave me a reason to wake up and have smt to look forward to. i look forward to all of ur love and support for my upcoming / ongoing works. 

muwah muwah ,, kimi 💛✨🥂

ps… it’s lengthy y’all 💀 it’s to make up for being so mia HAHHAAA

warnings: smut & angst ,, MY FAVE DUO <3

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In the midst of the airport chaos, Yoongi finds you standing with a stupid sign that looks like it was decorated by your preschool students. 

It’s times like these when he can’t help but smile at how insufferable you are. Why are you so fucking cute? Standing there, looking for him in the sea of strangers with your warm greeting. It’s a sight he wishes to last forever. It makes his stomach turn knowing that it’s him you’re waiting for. It’s him you’re here for. 

It’s him. 

As usual, Yoongi finds you first and continues to let you look for him. He waits for your eyes to find his before he picks up his feet and makes his way to you. You smile, unable to hold yourself back from making your way to him as well. 

As you do so, Yoongi gets a closer and closer look at the sign. At that moment, his heart skips a beat, realizing that your preschool class knows about him.

The boyfriend. 

It’s such a simple label. It even sounds silly to say and even so; he never gets used to how it makes him feel. How excited he is to be yours and how others react to it... Something about little children running around the classroom, knowing their teacher ____ is loved and has a boyfriend makes him so happy. 

God, it’s so fucking embarrassing and it honestly doesn’t even matter... But why... Why was it consuming his mind so effortlessly? 

Though these thoughts and daydreams are so easily executed in his mind; being your boyfriend—the mere title of it—has him in shambles. He will never get used to this privilege. So, it’s only natural that he wonders if you talk about him to them just as much. He wonders if they’ve asked you any silly questions like... If you two have ever kissed or if you two were ever going to get married.. Better yet; if you have any babies with him...

All valid questions 3 year old's could ask you! Even more valid questions for your boyfriend to ponder. 

You talk about your students so much. Like, it’s a little ridiculous! You talk about them as if they’re yours. With that, the idea of having a family with you is prone to linger in his mind. However, that’s way down the line..

He’d have to propose to you first; marry you second, and then have children with you. All the while, loving you forever. 

These thoughts, though dramatic and honestly a little extensive—consume him. It’s a little strange and overwhelming considering that you two haven’t been together for that long. Not to mention, he had just left for nearly and month. 

Yet, isn’t that how you two bloomed anyway? Testing and proving that absence does make the heart grow fonder. 

He gulps as he watches you rush to him. You squeal as he picks up his speed and meets you halfway. There, you practically fall into his arms. 

Nothing is better than this. 

Yoongi has only been away for three weeks, but it feels like it’s been forever. You’re so used to having him by your side and these past three weeks just felt like torture. All the texts and photo updates were simply not enough. If anything, they made missing him even worse. 

But that’s all over now.

Now, he’s here. He’s kissing your cheeks and holding you close. He doesn’t think he’ll ever let go.. Why should he? 

“I missed you,” Yoongi confesses in a rather whiney matter. It’s as if he wasn’t the one that left for a trip.. You clearly remember asking him if he really had to go. Then, he pouts with eyebrows knitting together. You tilt your head in response. “Ace...” 

You snicker at his whine.

“What?”

“Why haven’t you kissed me yet?”

“Hahahaa! Yoongi, you just arrived—”

His lips crash into yours, kissing you so profoundly that your back arches and melts into his touch. Everyone is probably looking at you two—ever so the dramatic couple.

Oh, whatever.

You missed him too.

The boys are all patiently waiting for Yoongi back in his apartment. 

As you unlock the door, Yoongi drags his luggage in. Immediately, he’s greeted with a wave of affectionate yells and shoves. His friends, ever so the gentlemen, push him around so much until they all end up on the floor. Laughing together, you watch them help each other up. 

“We’re grown men. Stop embarrassing me in front of my girlfriend,” Yoongi reprimands his friends as he dusts himself off. The guys roll their eyes in response and you even scoff. 

“She was late to a game and you cried about it—”

Yoongi corrects his friend with a technicality. “I almost cried.”

“Same shit!” Jungkook laughs at Yoongi’s sad attempt to save face. He then wraps his arms around Yoongi and looks up at him with bambi eyes. “You know.. I’m really glad you’re back.”

“Why?”

“Because I was promised cotton candy if I showed up to your welcome home dinner... So where the fuck is it? Give it to me. Now.”

The boys exchange looks with one another. “Jungkook, we actually don’t have any cotton candy tonight... But, don’t you want to be here and spend time with us—”

“Fucking liars!” Jungkook flips everyone off before pushing Yoongi aside and exiting his apartment. 

Everyone stands there for a moment, unsure of what just happened.

“Did he really just leave?” Taehyung bursts into laughter. 

Before you know it, everyone joins in. Laughing together because Jungkook is so unhinged... Also because you all know Jungkook would be back in (give or take) 20 minutes.

Why?

It’s not like he has other friends that would put up with his dramatic ass. 

As expected, Yoongi kicks everyone out. 

They all hurry out, leaving a bit of a mess behind. You shake your head as you collect all the dishes and bring them to the sink. Soaking the dirty dishes, you scrape off any extras and set them aside. Meanwhile, Yoongi is in charge of sweeping, mopping, and putting anything Jin, Jimin, Taehyung, and Jungkook played with away. 

“How the fuck did Nam Joon manage to leave his sock here?” 

“His what?”

“Sock. He left one.”

You throw your head back, laughing and recalling how chaotic tonight was.

“He didn’t even drink that much tonight... I think you drank more than him,” you comment, turning to face Yoongi. He pauses on wiping the table and rolls his eyes at you. 

“Nam Joon is lightweight.”

“Yeah?” you challenge him, “what are you?”

“Wanna find out?”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Let’s see how sloppy I fuck you tonight.”

You send him a glare, trying your best to mask your amusement. How could he be so unhinged? “Min Yoongi!”

“Yes, Ace?”

“Behave!” 

He shrugs at you. “I’ve been behaving.. Don’t believe me? Punish me tonight.”

You gag at his line. He laughs a bit as you make a cringe face at him. “Is that why you wanted me to sleep over?”

“No,” Yoongi slurs. You raise your eyebrows, eyes softening, with a small grin. Yoongi folds; “... okay, fine.”

You chuckle.

“Shut up!” He defends himself.

“I didn’t say anything!” With that, you burst into laughter. 

To put into perspective, the idea of sleeping over occurred after a very mature and communicative compromise. The compromise was that Yoongi had won 2 of 3 in an intense rock, paper, scissors game and you (have to because you lost) decided to spend the next week in his apartment. This would be a great time to reconnect and catch up on his trip. Regardless if he called and texted you every day during it; it’s different seeing his face light up as he relives his stories. You love listening to him talk about the things he loves—oddly enough, you’re all he can talk about these days.

Nevertheless, Yoongi tells you about how great his trip with his brother was. Seeing a bunch of NBA games in real life made him feel like he was doing something for his inner child. He talks about how much his brother bickered with him and how their taste in food was exactly the same so every time they went to restaurants; they would argue about who should get the other dish instead of both of them ordering the same meals.

You’re glad he’s back. 

Having your friends over tonight was such a good reset and time together. Now, the night concludes with cleaning with the love of your life. Could the simple things in life get any better than this?

Your thoughts are put on pause as you feel Yoongi’s arms wrap around your waist. As you continue to rinse the dishes, he rests his chin on the crook of your neck. 

“___,” he murmurs into your skin. You put the last dish on the dishrack before turning your body to be face to face with him. Tilting your head at him, a little confused with the underlying look of seriousness on his face. “Do your preschoolers ever ask about me?”

“Hmm?” you hum, unsure of what he means. “What about you?”

Yoongi purses his lips. “Like.. Do they know I’m your boyfriend? Who they’re making a sign for and shit?”

“Well, to be honest… We’re not really allowed to be talking about our personal life—”

“Bullshit.”

“Language,” you warn him. 

He kisses you in apology. 

“My bad,” he pouts. “Come on, ___. You’ve talked about me to them, haven’t you?”

You laugh, not quite understanding why he’s suddenly getting so heated about this. Sure, you’ve mentioned him once or twice.. How could you not? You’ve been in love with Yoongi for so long; it’s practically second nature to you. “Why do you care so much?”

Yoongi huffs, letting go of you. In a stiff manner, he shrugs. “I mean… The sign was made by them, right? They must know about me.”

“Umm, sure,” you roll your eyes. It’s not like this was turning into an argument or anything… But it’s just such an odd direction for the conversation to be going. “Aki, they’re a bunch of 3-year-olds. What does it matter if they know about you or not? I just asked them to help me make a sign because I was running out of time—”

“Do they ever ask you about marrying me?”

Your eyes widen. 

“What? No!”

Yoongi blinks. 

“Do you not want to marry me?” Yoongi crosses his arms, leaning against the kitchen counter. His chest tightens as he begins to feel offended. “Why’d you answer like that?”

“Like what?” you slightly panic. 

All his words are so new to you. He’s never been this straightforward… Or has he? Have you simply missed how seamless and blunt his words have been because you’ve been so into him? Suddenly, you can’t think straight. Now, you’re really confused. 

Was he getting angry?

Was he hurt?

From what? What did you say that’s triggering his reaction? You try to run it back, but it’s too late. Yoongi takes a step back and asks; “do you not want to marry me?”

You’re tongue-tied, unable to answer him. 

He scoffs. “You’re so fucking annoying.”

“Woah,” you instantly feel offended. “You can’t just bring up marrying me and then call me annoying for needing time to process what you just asked me!”

“Why do you need time to answer it? It’s yes or no. Do you want to marry me or not?”

You glare at him. “Are you proposing?”

“No.”

“Then I don’t need to answer right now… And honestly? You could tone down the intense attitude. We haven’t seen each other in 3 weeks… Why can’t we just have a nice evening together?”

Yoongi sighs, slightly feeling more flustered. He takes a deep breath and surrenders to the feeling of hurt. 

“I think I’m gonna crash at Hobi’s tonight.”

“What?” you groan in disbelief. Is he actually serious? “Yoongi, this is your apartment. You won that stupid rock, paper, scissors game and I’m here. I had to switch my shift for tomorrow to be here with you and now what? You’re just going to leave me here?”

… And before Yoongi can think of a proper response to deflate or change the course this moment; he lets his sharp words cut through his lips. “Well, pardon me for not being in the mood to spend the rest of my evening with someone who I thought saw a future with me… Kind of a mood killer, you know? When your girlfriend is practically dating you to break up.” 

“I never said—”

“Drop it, ___. It’s whatever.”

Your face softens and you can’t help but tear up. His anger feels sharp and abrupt. 

“What now? Did I fuck up again?” Yoongi says coldly. 

You shake your head, eyes fluttering the tears away. “No, it’s okay. I know you’re upset.. But it’s Ace, you know? You always call me Ace. I haven’t heard you say my name in a while. It’s like you’re actually mad at me or something..”

Yoongi stays silent. 

You never expected this. 

A whole week passes by and the most that has happened between you and Yoongi since are pathetic “good morning” and “good night” text messages. You two avoid each other and barely replied in the group chats. You’ve picked up extra shifts and Yoongi has been spending most of his time with the guys, with his brother, or alone. Thank god he warned the guys not to reach out to you regarding the argument.. Yoongi knows he was wrong to get so heated up so quickly… But also, he knows deep down his feelings were valid. 

It’s so stupid. 

The way he has been handling this entire thing is so fucking lame. He knows it and you know it. You both are acting like such babies—unwilling to communicate and understand each other. To be fair; you two have never reached the part of an argument where it actually made one another upset. This was the first time and it’s honestly the worst fucking thing you two have gone through. 

It’s sickening. 

It’s painful waiting for his calls and missing his daily updates… Avoiding eye contact and hesitating to hold your hand when you two are around each other. It doesn’t help that you can’t even remember the last time you two kissed and held each other since his arrival home. It has practically been a month since you two have been together together. 

Now it all aches. 

It hurt him to think that you couldn’t see a future with him when he knows his future is you. It ached so much to see the way your face went blank… Why were you unsure? Has he not given you all the reassurance you need? Has he not been doing enough? Was the 3 for 3 not good enough? … Rather, will he ever be good enough?

All these questions flooded his mind from morning to night. He waits for your reply every day and wonders if he should just swallow his pride and be the first to yield. 

This was your first disagreement as a couple and he isn’t too sure how to navigate through it. What is he supposed to do? His past relationships were never as dramatic as this.. Well, truth be told; he didn’t really care about his exes as much as he cares about you. Dramatic or not, the feelings were real and all more of the reason to push forward with begging for forgiveness. 

Begging to be yours. 

Begging to be loved. 

So what now? Does he surprise you with a significant gesture and make a bunch of promises that he knows are half-assed? In a sense, he was still angry. However, Yoongi knows better. His anger can’t be the reason he loses you.. And as we all know; Min Yoongi is a sore loser. 

Forever, Yoongi will refuse to lose you. 

The mere idea of dating you only for you two to break up… Sickening. He would rather crawl to you than walk away. As this realization hits him, he rushes inside his apartment and then into his room. He should go see you. 

Now. 

He has to see you now.

Yoongi doesn’t know where you are. 

At first, he had a few ideas of where you could be. At your apartment, in the library, or at the pool watching Jungkook’s swim practice.. He runs around campus desperate to find you. In all honesty, the speech he had prepared got lost along the way. As he hurriedly searches for you, the only words that ring are: it doesn’t end here. 

We don’t end here.

I love you—

You. 

Yoongi sees you sitting on the same bench you pitched three for three. You’re swinging your legs, watching the morning waves crash against the shore. He soaks in the sight of you looking so at peace. He loves how pretty you are from a far.

And then it hits him: he’s so lucky to love you.

It’s truly a privilege to love you because of everything you are. His anger and all the reasons he had gaslit himself into self-sabotaging your love for him—the extension of your beauty… It was so fucking wrong. Maybe he got too comfortable believing that he had you. Maybe he was too mesmerized with the idea of you two lasting forever that he forgot to even fucking ask it. 

He was wrong. 

He should’ve asked first. 

… But that’s the thing about being in love; you have faith. You believe in everything about the person you love. You believe in the good and that the universe sees you well enough to bless you forever. You believe in all the shooting stars and wishful thinking… You believe in forever when you meet the one that makes forever feel like it’s not enough.. But, you’d take it anyway. 

Drowning in his thoughts, Yoongi stands still and practically zones out. Meanwhile, from the corner of your eye, you see him. You see him standing there with the most devastated and desperate look on his face. Then, his eyes flicker to you. 

Your eyes meet and lock. His are glossy with tears building up. Even from a far, you can tell he has horrible eye bags. Perhaps, he hasn’t been sleeping well at night. Overall, he looks like a mess. He’s wearing grey sweatpants and your favourite white FOG shirt he owns. Even so… He looks restless. 

For his sake, you pretend not to see him. You turn back and watch the sea. Sitting in silence, you take deep breaths as you feel him walking toward you. You’re sure he’s here now but you don’t want to say anything. 

What could you say?

And it’s weird because you’d expect him to clear his throat and speak.. But he doesn’t. No, he stays silent. Yoongi also doesn’t sit down next to you. Instead, he stands a few feet away and watches the waves kiss the shore. 

Never has he ever felt so jealous of the sea.

An hour and a half passed by since Yoongi found you and within this time: he stays silent.

He follows you around, trailing behind you like a fucking loser. His head is bowed down for the most part and he focuses on following your shoes. 

You don’t have any classes today so he finds it a little weird that you’re running around doing random shit. You aren’t buying anything or meeting up with anyone.. It just feels like you’re stalling. In a stupid way; he’s thankful you’re doing so.

He doesn’t say anything though.. Why would he? All the words he had prepared got lost as he followed you around. 

All of this simply angers you. 

The quiet moment shared between you two at the seaside bench was cute but now he’s just being fucking annoying. Is he serious? He blew up a week ago and now he can’t even apologize for leaving you alone that night? For how cold he’s been? For being the worst boyfriend ever? 

Oh my god. 

It pisses you off so much. For a man that’s such a sore loser; he surely isn’t doing much to win you over. 

That’s just it! All men do is lie. 

By now, your feet hurt and you’re too annoyed to keep playing whatever game this is. You pick up your pace and turn toward the direction of your apartment. 

Yoongi follows. 

Your irritated mood begins to cloud your thoughts. You can feel your frustration take over and you just know you can’t do this anymore. The silence, the sad puppy look on his face, and the simple fact that everything between you two just feels so paper thin—no. This is not it. This isn’t want you want. 

You pause and turn to him. 

He lifts his head and blinks at you slowly. Still, he stays silent. He doesn’t even greet you with a smile.. Nothing. What the fuck? What’s the point of any of this?

The fucking audacity of this man. 

“That’s it?”

Yoongi shrugs. 

“Coward,” you hiss. Taking a step forward, he follows your lead. You’re close enough to him to reach out and hit his chest with your fist. You don’t do anything. You stay still, just like him. In your head, you’re crying and he’s holding you. In your head, he’s already pouring his heart out and you’re mending everything back together. In your head; Yoongi is fighting for you. 

“Do you have anything to say?” you ask desperately. “You can’t do this, you know? You can’t ignore me for a week and then just show up and not say anything. You can’t follow me around like you care when you obviously don’t. What the hell, Yoongi? If it’s over, then just say it. Say it so I can go home and wonder why the fuck the universe gave me you just to lose you because I.. I’m falling apart here—I can’t—I don’t know what’s going on and you just spent like two hours not saying a single word to me. If you have nothing to say then fine! It’s over—I don’t fucking know what’s going on anymore. Do you?”

“Not really,” Yoongi reveals. “I love you.. That’s all I know.”

His hands are on your waist, guiding you through your own apartment.

Yoongi’s kisses have never felt so good. His lips are so addicting—you can’t stop kissing him back. As innocent as the kissing goes; you can’t say the same for his hands. Once on your waist, now slipped in between your panties and your skin. 

Your body shivers from his touch.

“Slow down,” you pull away from him; “I’m still mad at you.”

Lies.

“Good,” he snickers deviously, “hate sex sounds really good right now.”

“I don’t hate you.”

“I can change that.”

Without warning, Yoongi picks you up and throws you onto your bed. There, you watch him take off his jacket, his shirt, and then just as he’s about to take off his pants; you crawl to him. 

“Can I?”

Yoongi fights for his life to stay calm and cool. He succeeds as he lets out two words: “say please.”

In response, you glare at him. “You want me to say please when you’re about to get head—”

No warning. 

Yoongi tugs his sweatpants down and grabs a handful of your hair. He shoves his thick cock into your pretty mouth. It shuts you up immediately. The moment you feel his velvety skin in your mouth, you moan at the taste of his precum on your mouth. Yoongi throws his head back from the relief and literal pleasure of your warm mouth wrapped around him. In contrast to his initial action, Yoongi thrusts in gently. His tip hits the back of your throat and you gag—tears triggered. You suck him as he moves back and forth. It makes him weak. How are you so fucking pretty while you do the dirtiest thing? He doesn’t know if he hates himself or not… How could he be doing this to you? At the same time, how could he not? 

He’s wanted this for so long. He missed you so fucking much.

“Mhmm,” he moans, “hate me yet?” 

He pulls you away from his dick. You grab it with your hands and jerk him off. Tilting your head, you bat your eyes at him. You shake your head at him, “I love you, Aki.”

Yoongi’s heart collapses. With no time to waste, he bends down and kisses you deeply. “I love you too, Ace.”

Just as you’re about to continue, Yoongi shifts you to lie down. Though a little confused, you follow his lead. “Wait, I wasn’t done sucking your—”

“I need you,” Yoongi confesses so sinfully. There’s truth in his voice. The kind that feels urgent and “I need you more than you need me.. Please, ___.”

You nod, fully understanding what he wants. 

Laying on your back, you spread your legs for him. He assists you and helps you take off your pants. He tosses them aside before running his thumb on the band of your panties. For a moment, his hands roam around you. He runs his thumb against your heat before pushing them aside to see you bare. 

“Just take them off,” you advise him. He rolls his eyes at you. 

“I have a thing for your panties, Ace.. Holy shit, give me a fucking minute.” Yoongi hisses his words and it makes you laugh. “Don’t fucking laugh, you cockslut.”

“I’ll stop laughing when you finally fuck me.”

“Be patient.”

You cross your arms at him.

“Aren’t you the one that said you need me—oh my god!” you gasp, feeling yourself begin to throb at the feeling of Yoongi’s spit running down your folds. He smirks at how fast you shut up. Yoongi then takes off your panties entirely and then spreads your legs in front of him. 

He jerks himself off a few times before hitting his hard cock against your pussy. Your breath hitches when he does so. “Are you wet enough?” he asks with no intention of waiting for your reply. He uses his thumb and index finger to spread your folds and judges for himself. He then spits again and massages it into your wet pussy. “Better?”

You nod, unable to answer. “Don’t finger me,” you beg. “Just fuck me, okay?”

“You don’t want me to finger you? How about I at least eat you out first—”

“You didn’t let me finish giving you a blowjob!”

Yoongi laughs, “I would’ve fucking nutted so hard in your mouth if I had let you suck it for one more second. Come on, Ace! I love eating you out. I want to make you feel good—”

“You’re not being fair,” you whine. “I want to make you feel good too.” 

“You do more than enough—fuck. Wow. Okay. Rude! Don’t be a bitch.”

You took off your top.

Now, he’s distracted by your plump breast. In all honesty, his favourite thing is to watch your boobs bounce when you two fuck. Whether it’s missionary and he’s on top of you; listening to your soft moans and lewd praises or if you were riding him; heavily breathing and concentrating on getting yourself off… He loves it.

He fucking loves it all. 

And so be it. 

Yoongi gives in. You smile in pure happiness as he gulps and settles himself in between your legs. He pushes himself inside and you moan in relief. 

Fucking finally.

It’s been too long. 

Yoongi thrusts in and out, completely melting in how good it feels to fuck you raw. He watches intensely as your breast move up and down from his thrusts. He looks at you and your stupid fuck me eyes that have him weak. All he knows is that he’s yours. His entire existence is because of you—because of moments like these where he is completely and utterly yours. 

As he fucks you, all he can think about is how much he loves you. How this is what home feels like—how good life actually is. It’s you. Everything good in his life is connected to you. It completely tears him apart. 

The more emotional he gets as he processes his feelings, the harder he fucks you. Soon, you’re moaning like never before. He fucks you so good that the bed practically shakes and your entire world begins to spin. He sits up more and grabs one of your breasts to help himself stabilize. As he continues to fuck you, all you can do is whine his name. 

When you reach your climax, you cream all over his cock. He doesn’t stop there though. No, he keeps on going. He keeps on going until he can’t take it anymore and his body collapses and falls on top of yours. There, you wrap your arms and legs around him. Sloppily, he finishes inside you. 

“My universe,” he whimpers, “you’re my universe.”

It’s a dewy rainy morning. 

Your bedroom window is open and the cloudy sky only makes your empty room feel gloomier. 

You woke up naked and alone. After the third round—because you’d be a complete idiot to think that Yoongi would call it a night after one round—you had fallen asleep next to the love of your life. 

Where is he now?

You’d be lying if you said it didn’t hurt to wake up alone. Was all of that… Just break up sex? It couldn’t be! In between rounds, you and Yoongi found it in yourselves to make jokes and basically sink into your old vibes… No way did he just leave you. 

You gather your sheets and prepare to get up. Just as you’re about to, Yoongi comes out of the washroom. His hair is a little damp and he’s only wearing his sweatpants. 

Oh, what a sight. 

You squint at him and rub your eyes. “I thought you left.”

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” he laughs, throwing his shirt at you. It lands on top of your head. Taking it, you put it on drop your sheets. 

“Can you pass me my panties please?”

Yoongi leans against your bathroom doorframe and shakes his head. “Nah.”

“Don’t be a dick—”

“Round four?”

You laugh. “You haven’t even said sorry yet and you think you can sneak in a forth round?”

Yoongi shrugs at you nonchalantly. “I snuck in three rounds last night… What’s another three? Three for three.” He mocks you. 

You stick your tongue out at him. 

Silence falls between you two as the sound of gradual raindrops hit your window. You turn your head and watch the rain begin to fall. 

“Didn’t know it was going to rain… Isn’t it the middle of summer? Kinda strange, don’t you think—”

“I’m sorry.” 

Yoongi folds. 

You turn back to him and see he’s on his knees before you. His head, just like yesterday, hangs low. 

“I overreacted. I felt like I was losing you. I was so stubborn and defensive that I ended up fighting for my pride rather than us… ___,” he pauses and lifts his head. “I’ve never been in love like this before. I never knew how much my feelings could consume me and how much I want us to work out. I was trying to fight for us. I know my words aren’t much; but I hope asking is enough.. I’ll be better. I’ll be so good to you from now on, I swear… The jealousy and insecurities I have… I’m so messed up sometimes—I know… But I’m trying to be good enough to stay in your orbit.”

“Yoongi—“

“I was trying to pitch forever with you and I didn’t even give you a fair chance to accept or decline—”

“I would’ve said yes,” you interrupt him. “If you had asked properly; the answer is yes. Of course, I’d marry you… In due time.”

“Really?”

“Yeah… I’d have to introduce you to my preschoolers first but I’m sure you’ll win them over super fast—”

“Be serious.”

“I am!” you laugh, patting the spot next to you for him to join. He gets up and sits beside you. “I think we were just caught up in the moment. We were separated for a hot minute—I feel like it was just… Miscommunication? We can work on it. We’ll just have to be more patient with one another and maybe not ignore each other for a week?” 

Yoongi sighs and nods. “I still feel really shitty about everything.”

“Good,” you tease him as you cup his cheeks with the palm of your hands. He kisses them before resting in your embrace. “Make it up to me someday.”

“... Did you do it?”

“No.”

He stares at the ring box he purchased with his brother during his trip to the States. The engagement ring you had not-so-secretly pinned on your Pinterst board was only available in the States.. Of course, because the universe was on his side; the trip and the ring’s time and location lined up. 

“I thought you were going to propose to her when you got back? If that stupid fight didn’t happen, we would’ve been having a different conversation right now. Did you guys even make up?” Yoongi’s brothers voice echoes in the call. “You dragged me to that fucking store and had me pick out details for like twenty rings!”

Yoongi sighs as he closes the ring box and shoves it inside his desk. Truth be told.. He wasn’t planning to propose to you yet. He just wanted the ring ready for when the time comes. 

“Someday,” Yoongi promises. “I’ll make it up to her someday in our forever.”

[m4ndysk4nkovich]

you wanna know something that i’ve realized?

most debbie haters stopped actually paying attention to her storyline around season 5-10. because a lot of the takes i’ve seen about her are so stupid because they don’t make any sense, and they could have only been made by someone who begrudgingly watched the scenes and really didn’t give a rats ass.

and so by season 10, when she has a whole redemption arc going on, it’s not taken into account because people are so brainwashed by all of these takes such as, “she’s the worst gallagher”, or, “she’d abandon franny”, or even worse things that i don’t want to even bother getting into.

and then, we get to season 11, and it becomes rather obvious that people haven’t been paying attention. it’s literally like someone taking an exam having never taken the class that the exam is for and not knowing what they’re talking about at all.

because yes, season 5 debbie had some… issues, she was on another level, and season 6 debbie was stubborn, season 7 debbie was confused and closed off, season 8 debbie was vain, season 9 debbie was, well, into kelly; but all of the characters had dark points and the thing is, almost all of them redeem themselves! and you all allow this for every character (*cough* lip *cough*) except for debbie.

season 10 debbie managed the bills and finances at ninteen WHILE taking care of a four year old, she scammed good money for herself and her family, she fought for her daughter and found a clever way to keep her (while getting money from the government), she bought tami and lip an rv, she saved ian and mickey’s wedding, and overall was just great (don’t even get me started on julia because i’ve got into it before, she wasn’t supposed to be villainized in that storyline but she was because y’all didn’t pay attention).

season 11 debbie is struggling. she just got arrested and i’m pretty sure was sent to jail, because of this, her career struggles, she tries to make everything perfect for her daughter but worries she’s failing when nobody comes to franny’s party because of her + lip calls her a terrible mother for a MISUNDERSTANDING, she tries to get money, HER house is being destroyed by lip gallagher and her entire family turns on her, she and her girlfriend break up and she relives her trauma, she dates someone incredibly toxic, and i could literally go on and on about how sad her ending was. she got fucked over. however, she tries for her daughter and goes out of her way to make her daughter happy even when she’s struggling, she has her own business, and she fights for her house.

i know that debbie fucks up a lot, but you don’t get to diminish her entire character if you don’t get it. if you aren’t able to understand her trauma and why she acted the way she did you don’t get to talk, sorry not sorry.

like, you can tell when someone hasn’t been paying attention based on if they think she’ll go to texas. when she heard about texas, she looked like she didn’t want to go. she was hesitant. she delivered an entire monologue about why she wouldn’t ever leave her kid, and it was evident throughout that entire season, yet y’all think she would just jump into that truck and leave franny behind?? no! plus, the deal was franny AND debbie, not just debbie. i get that you want galladads to just scoop up franny but sorry, debbie would never let that slide. they’re her uncles, not her dads.

and if you can’t explain who heidi or peppa are, you can’t talk. if you can’t understand that what matty did was grooming, you can’t talk. if you think that she has a low iq, you can’t talk. if you think that she hates fiona, you can’t talk. if you think that she’d leave franny, YOU CAN’T TALK.

the show explains her character, it’s not like all of her actions aren’t justifiable, like, they give you reasons why she does it and she makes up for her actions but you all just ignore it. it pisses me the fuck off.

[quibbs126]

*sigh* screw it, I just want to complain more

So I’ve been trying to draw Menos (he is said favorite character above) yet again today, but it just keeps not working. I don’t really even know what I’m doing wrong, though at the same time I don’t really know how to do it right either

He’s just so difficult for me to draw for some reason. Actually no, I know the reason. It’s because he’s big and buff and has a different body shape to the rest of the main cast, and I don’t really know how to draw that. Also, there’s that godforsaken neck chain of his, that for some reason is impossible for me to draw

It doesn’t look that hard to draw in the game’s concept art, hell he doesn’t look hard to draw, especially considering his clothes are awfully simplistic compared to his companions and other characters

It’s literally just that he’s buff, I swear. But I just can’t draw him!

And this summer, I actually did somehow manage to make a sketch of a character with his body type this summer, and I keep looking at it for reference, but it just ends up looking trash

I don’t know how I did it that first time!

I know you people don’t really see my art of him that often, mostly just Ceres (though in all honesty I have been drawing a lot of her recently), but that’s because I either keep deleting it or I don’t post the never to be finished page that I drew him on, and only my Discord server that’s for Cookie Run and not this gets subjected to it. I have been trying and failing to draw him so much, including today

Speaking of today’s drawings, I actually did manage to make something halfway decent today, that being this

I’ve previously mentioned being at the dentist today, and drawing this while waiting (not entirely sure what I was waiting for, other than the thing to fill my cavities I guess? Since we were finished drilling holes in my teeth. Ah well, not important). I wanted to recreate the style drawing thing I had done above, while also maybe attempting to give them eyes closer to their canon designs

And quite honestly, I think they turned out pretty well! Maybe not the best, and I really don’t know what Ceres is doing with her arms, but it’s still not horrible

Then later today, I was trying to draw Menos similarly. And it crashed and burned (I’ve already erased what I was drawing, so I can’t show you). I’ve also been kind of trying to draw something else on the page, but it just isn’t working

I think I can only draw decently when I’m not at home, like when I’m at the dentist. Because it just isn’t working for some reason. I mean, I guess I won’t have much longer to wait, since I go back to school one week from now, and I always do my best work during lecture. Which isn’t great since I need to pay attention in lecture, but I at least will be able to draw outside of my house, and presumably do better

And yeah, I was able to draw that Dark Cacao and Choco picture yesterday, and it turned out pretty fine. And also, I’m a Cookie Run artist, I should just stop complaining about all this, making it a bigger deal than it is, and just go back to what I can do relatively well

But for one thing, I’m still stuck on this quest to draw Menos good, and I still haven’t gotten there, because I literally don’t know how to achieve it

And second, quite honestly it’s those Cookies’ fault I can’t draw these guys anymore!

I tried to learn how to draw the Cookie Run characters in a style similar to how they’re officially drawn. It took me a while, but I can pull it off I think pretty well, or at least decently (it just depends on how lazy I feel with the designs). But in the process, I have forgotten how to draw human characters properly/other beings with similar proportions. I may be able to draw them and it look semi decent by the end, but I don’t actually know what I’m doing in the sketch layer, and it feels like far more of an ordeal than it should be, and that quite honestly, I don’t have the skill anymore. I’m sure you can see it with how limited the poses of most human-ish characters I’ve drawn recently tend to be. Or at least, I’ve noticed it in drawings that I’ve done but haven’t posted because they weren’t done or I didn’t like them

And I struggle with applying what I’ve learned from Cookie Run to these human designs, because in my mind at least, they aren’t applicable here, because the proportions are all different and they have hands and necks now, and it’s all completely different so how do I apply it? Not to mention the fact that I’m semi-remembering how I used to do it and trying to copy what I used to do, but not knowing how I’m supposed to actually do it, so everything becomes a jumbled mess, and I get something that might look decent out of pure luck. I want an actual stable process for drawing human characters that looks good, but because of Cookie Run, I don’t have that anymore

And I can’t just draw in the Cookie Run style, because that’s basically like a Chibi art style, and that just wouldn’t look proper when it’s entirely different from the actual art of the game. Cookie Run you can get away with since that’s the canon art style and also just what the characters look like, being living gingerbread people. But I can’t do that with Evoland 2, it’s just not true to the game and quite frankly would just look embarrassing

What was I talking about again? Right, being unable to draw Menos. Well, that’s why you have to deal with this right now, because Cookie Run is in some way the reason that I am having this problem. Also, I really like Menos and want to draw him, but I can’t and it’s so endlessly frustrating

Yeah there’s the other characters, but I want to draw him specifically, since he’s the one on my mind most of the time, along with his family and also Velvet. It’s mostly Fina and Kuro who aren’t on my mind that often. But even then, I struggle with drawing the other characters too. Though that might be because I run out of steam by the time I decide to draw them, and so I just don’t want to draw them. I don’t know

I hate that I’m an artist who’s whole purpose is to draw, and yet I cannot draw my favorite character, who frankly isn’t that difficult to draw, all because I currently lack the ability to

[fabraies-archive]

BREAK THE ICE

notes n warnings ❅ *: figure skater! oikawa toorū x fem! figure skater! reader, mentions of diets and bad eating habits, this took a long time i’m sorry I literally wrote this while I was having a ton of exams, I hope the pacing is fine I feel like it’s a little too fast :( wc 5.3k

part one of snowflakes are kisses from heaven series

“WINNING IS FIRST PLACE, EVERYTHING ELSE IS LOSING”

The sentence keeps replaying in your head like a mantra, and you feel like you’re being suffocated. You were supposed to be able to master this routine. It’s nothing you haven’t encountered before, and the media portrayed you as a young, headstrong skater who succeeded in everything she undertook. So why couldn’t you do it? You’re the best. You’ve got titles and medals other skaters could only dream of having. At the very least, you used to be the best, because it just so seems that your best doesn’t cut it anymore. Soon enough, your previous achievements will be worth nothing, and your trophies will catch dust. So when your partner’s comments came flying at you, you feel as if they’re the straw that broke the camel. “Seriously? A toe loop made you fall?” Oikawa turns his head towards your choreographer, and snickers, “Looks like the program’s going to need a few changes after all.”

You had both been skating together for 7 years. Somehow, in 7 years, Oikawa hadn’t managed to be any less insufferable than he was when your coach introduced you both to each other.

7 YEARS AGO

The front door creeks open, and you turn around at the speed of light. ‘Mrs Coach’, as you used to call her, is holding a boy’s wrist, dragging him further into the training center. The boy himself didn’t look like he was too keen on entering the place, seemingly upset. He couldn’t be more than 14. That’s already pretty old to me, you cringe, I’m only twelve.

He looks down at you, eyebrow raised. “I’m supposed to skate with her? How old even is this kid ?” You feel your cheeks redden. Kid? Did he just actually call you that? Was your coach really about to let this slide? Surely not.

“She’s twelve, that’s only a two year age gap, there’s worse out there. And for the record, this is just a test to see if you guys work well together. You can keep your hopes up for a little while.” You can hear a hint of amusement in her voice, turning her back on you to walk towards the rink. “Let’s get going! I have a feeling you two’ll be a great match.”

Next to you, Oikawa grumbles.

-

Whatever your coach saw in you two, you didn’t. You kept bickering for the entire time, and you couldn’t manage anything more difficult than a few jumps in unison and a bad lift. Truth be told, the latter still makes you blush when thinking about it. As his despisable as his personality is, you couldn’t deny his looks. So when he lifted you in the air, you felt like you were about to explode. Your little twelve-year-old-heart could only take so much.

“You guys are truly great together, I was right. You’ll see, with more training, you two will make it to the Olympics!”

Your eyes sparkle at your coach’s outburst. The Olympics... You’d do anything to get there. And a grumpy teenage boy in the middle of a teenagehood crisis was certainly not about to stop you.

“Yeah, well, the Olympics aren’t worth it if I’m not competing in men’s singles. So feel free to do your best or whatever, but this isn’t what I signed up for.” The brow haired boy says crudely. Your coach’s smile visibly faints and you direct your eyes at him, ready to blow a fuse. “It’s not what I signed up for either. My dream was in the Ladie’s singles, but that’s not possible. The thing is, when I was handed another opportunity, I took it. Because to you, I’m only twelve and ‘still a kid’, but in the meantime, I don’t take things for granted, and work hard, no matter the conditions. Maybe you should try that some time. It shouldn’t be too hard, since you’re supposedly two years older than me.” You feel your partner’s eyes narrowing at you in embarrassment, but before he gets to get anything more than a small ‘smartass’, your coach intervenes.

“(Y/n), it’s fine. You both have done enough for today. I’m sure this all comes from pent up frustration, the bad blood will disolve quickly enough.”

Oh, if only she knew.

-

Ticked off, you hit the ice with your fist, and get back on your feet. You grit your teeth, and mumble a “Mind your business”, to which he answers with a scoff. You turn your head to face your coach with a disgruntled expression, in a desperate attempt to get Oikawa to keep his mouth shut, but she only shrugs and you brace yourself for the worst. If you could mostly handle Tooru’s remarks (keyword: mostly), the coach’s were different. She closes her eyes, and you can hear her voice echoing throughout the rink, “Look, you guys are young. Not too long ago, you both were competing for junior competitions. But this,” she points towards the countless medals and trophies you two had won over the years in the glass shelf, “Is over. You are about to head to Beijing to compete against athletes who are just as good, if not much better, than you. You cannot keep this up. The bantering off the ice is slowly transposing itself onto your chemistry while performing. Keep it up and the judges will notice this, and you’ll come back home without any medal at all. The basis of pair figure skating is the chemistry. If you lose it, you lose everything else. ” Her scolding ends, and you clench your fists. You hate that she has to say this. You hate that even your coach is willing to admit that you both aren’t doing enough to stand a chance. You hate that you know she’s right. You hate that you know Oikawa is right. At the very least, had you fallen while attempting a 4A, you would still be viewed as respectable by the public, and by the judges. But you hadn’t, and instead, the people around you would start despising you.

This isn’t fair, you think, I’ve worked harder than anyone else to be here! Your cheeks redden, and you can feel your eyes getting watery. “Stop crying, we gotta get back to the routine.” You notice that Oikawa’s tone has lost some of it’s initial glee, and you’re reassured to know you’re not the only one that has been affected by your coach’s harsh words. Oikawa skates back to the middle of the rink, waiting for you to finish sniffling like a child who has had her lollipop taken away from her.

The noise of a locker being harshly closed fills the empty changing rooms and makes you flinch. The rest of the training session did not go as smoothly as planned, even after your coach’s complaints. A sigh escapes your lips. While he could still blame everyone else for all the mishaps on the ice, you couldn’t. You only had yourself. Never had you been this discouraged, and ready to give up. Worst of all, you cannot seem to quell your inner turmoil, because everything you do seems to give it right, and feeds it, until you can’t control it anymore. You want to disappear. Sure, you’ve never gotten along with your partner, but you’d never go as far as ruin his dreams along with yours, even after what he said a few years back. A tired voice pulls you from your intrusive thoughts. “Get up, loser. I need to close the changing rooms tonight, and I want to go home,” as if the first sentence wasn’t already enough, he adds, “And I’d be damned if you were the one to keep me here longer than I have to.” Nevermind. Maybe you would be fine tearing his dreams apart after all. “Coming.” You mumble. You don’t have the energy to banter anymore today.

As you two leave the rink, an unexpected question leaves Oikawa’s mouth. “What’s up with you today ?” You don’t miss the slight edge to his voice, but answer regardless. “I don’t know-” “You don’t know?” He angrily interrupts you, “Your little problems might cause us to not even get close to the podium at the Olympics but you don’t know?” His anger is legitimate. You can’t just not know when the stakes are this high. It’s ridiculous. You know you’re in the wrong, but you get defensive either way. “I’m sorry, since when were you even rometely interested in going to Olympics ? Last time I checked, you were doing minimal effort because ‘your dream was in the men’s singles’. I’ve been working my ass off since we met. So don’t you start bitching. I worked so fucking hard, and despite it all, you were always behind me, waiting to fuck it all up. You couldn’t even count on your fingers how many problems I have to deal with- “

“Yeah, okay. Just get this fixed before the Olympics.” With that, he just walks away, and you can’t help the sobs that are bubbling up your throat. You want to scream. You’re gripping the straps of your bag so hard you might leave a permanent imprint on your fingers. And in this very moment, you’re considering letting your anger take you over. But, you know better. It’s for the coach, you try to calm yourself down, for the Olympics.

You hope that tonight will help you rest. Despite all your problems flying around your head, you still had a flight to Beijing to catch tomorrow.

-

You were wrong. If anything, this night brought you even more problems than you already had. You hadn’t been able to close a single eye for the entire time, for if you did, your mind would go wandering to back to your doubts and you would start feeling anxious again. Nothing seemed to calm you down. Not even the silence of the plane, or the cheap laughing backtrack of the movie you were currently watching. “Would you like anything to eat ?” The hostess comes up to you. You consider getting the nice salad for a moment. Knowing eating won’t help can’t stop me from trying, you think, and in a heartbeat, you find yourself ordering one of the salads that had caught your eye on the flimsy menu. Unfortunately for you, your coach passes by at the same time as your meal’s arrival, and while she doesn’t say anything explicitly, the look she shoots you says everything you might need to know. It’s on you. You’re supposed to be on a strict diet, and indulge a strict amount of calories each day, nothing more, nothing less. Just enough to propulse yourself into the air, and just enough to keep gliding on the ice at a good speed. Just as you reflect on your bad eating habits, the coach comes back, just as you feared.

“I know you’re stressed.” She starts, it’s a dead giveaway of the theme of the conversation you’re about to have, which makes you audibly sigh, “But you’re a skater. You signed up for it. The least you could do is have the strength to go through it, both physically and mentally. You’re no different than all the people that you are competing against. You’ve got the same skills, the same elements to work with.” Your chest tightens, and you look away. Your coach resumes nevertheless, “But you two have something special, something that only a very limited number of skaters still possess at your level.” She points to you, “this something, is passion. And, yes, Oikawa does have it. Even if he yearns for a spot in he men’s singles, he still has passion for what he’s doing right now, even if you don’t see it. Your competitors could only dream of having that. You want to skate, they have to. There’s a big difference. The only thing is, to showcase your passion to the best of your ability, you have to make amends with Oikawa,” You open your mouth in protest, before your coach speaks up again, “this isn’t an option. It’s necessary. If you want to win the Olympics, that is. You can start right now by the way, I believe he’s in the cabin right next to yours.” With that, she walks away, leaving you speechless. After yesterday’s fiasco, the last thing you want to do is talk to him. But this isn’t about doing what you want, but about what you have to do, you think, and open your cabin door, alright. Good luck to me.

You move, and knock on Oikawa’s cabin’s door. “Yeah ?” A horse voice answers to the dry knocking, and it’s deepness makes your whole body tingle. “I- um. It’s me.” The door slides open, and if his voice has gotten such a reaction out of you, his slightly messy hair and jogging attire almost has you blushing, just the way it did 7 years ago, on your very first lift.

“So ?” Your partner urges you to speak up, and only then do you realize you’ve been standing in front of him, completely silent. You end up babbling a mess of words, and take a deep breath as to start anew. “I know we started off on the wrong foot. To be very honest, it’s kind of your fault, but I forgive you. Yesterday was especially bad, even though I’m pretty sure I was right, and you were wrong. However, I come in peace. For this reason, I have decided to be the mature person I am, and graciously overlook your past mistakes. Are we good now? ” The handsome male eyes your hand you stuck out for him to shake, and you two find yourselves wrapped in a parochial silence. “That’s not how apologizing works” You bite your tongue in order not to give into his taunting, and respond, “About that, I thought things through a little before coming here, and I believe I have nothing to apologize for. Thus, I decided to give you a chance to apologize instead. You’re welcome, by the way. ”

He gapes at you, and quickly regains his composure., “That’s funny, because I happen to think you actually do have stuff to apologize for.”

“And what would that be exactly ?”

“Being bitchy.”

You scoff, and cross your arms, “Me? I was only being bitchy because you were being an asshole.”

“Excuse me?”

“You’re excused.” Oikawa rolls his eyes, and is about to continue, when a man from the cabin next door groans. “Will you kids just keep it down? Some of us are too tired for your little lovers’ quarrel.”

At the mention of you and Oikawa being lovers, you both physically tense up, until the bickering starts again. “Look, I just wish you’d apologize!” You whisper-scream. “Apologize for what?” He insists, and you can’t believe your ears. “Are you serious ? Maybe apologizing for what you said when we first met? For not putting any effort in the skating just because it isn’t what you intended to do?” This time, it’s his turn to not believe his ears. “You want me to apologise for something that happened 7 seven years ago?” “That, and the no-effort thing.” “Oh so you really are serious.”

Be the bigger person. You take a deep breath, trying to focus on what to do in order to get Oikawa and you to make peace. Obviously, your partner is not able to see further than his own nose in this situation. So, it is up to you to make him understand that the stakes are too high for the both of you to simply go back and forth like children at around 35 thousand feet up in the air.

“Look. You’ve said it before, we can’t risk not being on the podium at the Olympics. What I’m trying to do, is restore our relationship, have good chemistry during the games, and win. After that, you can do whatever you want. I frankly don’t care if this isn’t your dream, it’s mine. I need to win. Just this once.” You plead.

This is humiliating. You’ve hit an all-time low. But it needed to be done. And by the look on his face, you can already tell this top 1 of your most embarrassing moments have not been in vain.

“Okay. Fine. I don’t promise anything but, ” he enters a fit of coughing, and tries his best to maintain his composure, “I’m sorry. What I said yesterday was kind of in the heat of the moment, I guess. But, sure. Winning. Totally.”

You open your mouth to thank him, but he pushes you out, and closes the door. Once again, you’re left frothing at the mouth. Maybe it was a sign not to thank him after all.

-

Oikawa has always hated the sound of skates rattling against the ice. But for some reason, he’s still standing on the rink, performing. He doesn’t know why. It’s the same with his relationship with you. You both hate each other, but you still skate together. It’s not out of a lack of opportunities; he was very coveted, and so were you. He couldn’t possibly count on his fingers the number of times you could’ve parted ways, and yet, here you both are, about to compete in the Olympic games. You’ve only got few days left to train and perfect the programm, but Oikawa still finds himself staring up at the windows of the rink. It was night, but he couldn’t spot any stars or the moon. Still, the sky was faintly light. He’d have to head to bed soon. “Done daydreaming ?” A voice calls out. It’s you. You were always pretty, but the faint glow around you due to the night sky makes you even prettier. Such a shame your beautiful face had to be paired up with such a horrid personality, he thinks.

“I’m talking to you.” You speak up, again.

“I can hear you.” Oikawa narrows his eyes at you.

“So you’re just ignoring me.”

“Correct.”

“Awesome. I thought we were getting somewhere.” You shoot him a look. Oikawa scoffs. He’s glad the dark manages to cover the expression he’s sporting, because you’d never let go of it. Oikawa flustered? What a scoop! “Getting where? We’re not a couple, much less friends.” If the night sky manages to cover him, it doesn’t do it for you. He wishes it did, because the saddened smile you’re wearing makes his stomach twist. He wants to take back the words he said. Over his lifetime, he’d take back practically half what he’s said if he could.

If only his pride could let him.

-

Thundersnows are, according to scientists, a rare occurrence. However they seemed common enough for you to have to live through one. It’s funny, in a twisted way. On one hand, you love snow, but on the other, you are absolutely terrified of thunders. Your first thought is to go see your coach. Around 5 years ago, while you were in a training camp, there had been one of the loudest storms you had ever had the horror of living. You had ran towards your coach’s room, begging her to stay with you. The thought still makes you smile, as a reminder of your friendship with her. You open your fist to reveal a white pearl, hanging from black thread, a token from your friendship. She had gifted it to both you and Oikawa after your very first gold medal.

A heavy knock on the door interrupts your soft moment, and soon enough, it creaks open, revealing a brown-haired figure skater, clad in loose fitting jeans, and a shirt.

“To what do I owe the pleasure? Thought we ‘weren’t even friends’? What happened to that?” You don’t even bother looking up at him.

“Don’t flatter yourself. Coach said you were scared of thunders. She can’t help you out right now, she’s stuck in traffic with Ukai, so she sent me instead.” He runs his hand through his hair, and sits down on your bed. “Ukai, huh ?” You hum, “Always knew there was something going on between them.” You make yourself comfortable, and lie down on your bed. Feeling generous, you invite Oikawa to do the same. “Since when are civil ?” He quirks an eyebrow, and you shrug, “Ever since I was too tired not to be.” He doesn’t question your odd change of behaviour any further, and a leans back on the bed headboard.

“Do you think Ukai and coach have already fucked?” He asks, suddenly turning towards you. “Don’t be crude.” You respond.

“Is that a yes ?” His last question gets a chuckle out of you, and you realise that you completely forgot about the storm ever since he got here. “Maybe.” “Maybe !?” He props himself up on his shoulders, “Are you kidding ? They totally have! Have you seen the way they look at each other ? Man. Disgusting.“

“I find them cute. It’s love.”

“You’re disgusting too”

“Says the guy who wore skates two sizes too small during a comp. Who the hell does that ?”

“Who the hell falls on a toe loop ?” Oikawa retorts.

You snort, “That was low.”

“Your world standing is low.”

“My world standing is also your world standing.” You look back at him, and you find him staring at you. “I’m gonna hit you with the pillow.” You don’t get to say what you were planning to say anyway, because a pillow is hurled at your face.

You take it off, and wholeheartedly laugh. “You’re not half as bad as I made you out to be.” Oikawa observes. “Well, you would’ve known earlier if you hadn’t been such an asshole since day one”.

“Oh, so now it’s my fault?” He retorts, “if my memory serves me right, you were being quite the asshole as well.”

“Excuse me?” Your mouth falls open.

“Sometimes I even wonder how you spoke like that. Weren’t you like, twelve?”

“I’m just well-spoken.” You prop your chin up. It was true. Your parents had always pressured you. Etiquette lessons, piano lessons, countless extracurricular activities. No wonder you managed to seem like a smartass to Oikawa.

“Sure.”

Silence makes its way in the room, none of you daring to disturb it, until a question makes an appearance at the back of your mind. So close.

“Why do you not do any effort in our routines?”

“Me?” Oikawa stares back at you with a dazed look, “Given everything we’ve won, you’d think the opposite, no?”

“I’ve asked you about this before, but you’d just ignore me. I want you to be honest with me. I mean effort as in, something more than what’s expected of you, stimulated by the happiness that skating brings you. You don’t do that. And I’m just tired of doing everything in my power in order to balance your lack of passion out.”

“Then don’t.” His simple answer makes you scoff.

“And lose all my chances at the games? No way. This is my dream. I’ve never wished for anything more than this.”

“Then why didn’t you switch partners?”

He’s right. Why didn’t you ? You don’t look at him in the eye, you wouldn’t dare to. Because you know the answer, but never in a million years would you ever willingly face it. Not in the kind of environment you’re in right now, you can’t take it or risk it. Besides, you’ve feigned feeling nothing but resentment towards him in the past few years. What kind of delusional would you be if you even thought of him possibly liking you back ?

“I.. I don’t know. Why haven’t you ?” Counter a question by a question. Great thinking. If only his question wasn’t as frustrating as his answer.

“Because I don’t know what I’d do without you. You said it yourself, your determination is essential to our performances. It makes up for whatever I don’t have. We balance each other out. And admit it, our little ‘lovers quarrels’ mean too much for you to ever let them go, don’t they ?”

The proximity and the subtle flirting make your chest feel warm, even though you know it shouldn’t. You can’t let these type of doubts eat you from the inside, but you can’t help it. You just know realize that you desperately need to keep yourself in check to have a chance to step on the podium.

“You’re too tired. Did you consume anything before coming here ?” You wave him off, in a brief attempt to cover your embarrassment.

“Love.” He grins.

-

The peace between you and Oikawa seemed to have only been an interwar period, because it only took a few hours for the animosity to come back.

A conversation you weren’t even supposed to hear. That’s all it took for your heart that was beating like crazy a few moments prior to shatter, once again, just the way it did over the years with Oikawa.

“Are you sure you want to leave the team, Oikawa ?” A feminine voice speaks up. The coach, you think.

“Yeah. I can’t do it anymore, this is just a lack of professionalism at this point.” Another one speaks. It’s a man this time. Oikawa, you realize.

“You do realize you could just talk this out, right? Consider it, at least, tons of athletes have dealt with this, you know.”

“It’s.. it’s not for me I’m doing this. Sorry.”

You don’t even bother listening to the rest of the conversation. You hadn’t even taken your own warning into account, and here you were, in the cafeteria, carelessly moving your food around, without plans to actually eat any of it.

The doors from the training centre close behind you and Oikawa, and he speaks up, “So? What’s gotten your panties in a twist ?”

“Nothing is wrong! Why do you care anyway? This has nothing to do with you!” You immediately blow up, and swear you could gouge his eyes out. One second you two find yourselves flirting, the next he wants to leave the team, and for the grand finale, Oikawa suddenly cares about your mental state. You tend to find it rather funny, since his antics make up around half of the reasons for your deteriorating mental state. On the other hand, you’ve had just about enough of him stringing you along and acting as if nothing’s wrong.

“First, you have got to calm down, holy shit. Second, I care because you’re my partner, and because we’re about to compete! Tomorrow!” He seethes.

You can’t help but laugh at his lousy excuse, “I call bullshit. You’re a horrible liar. You don’t care about the Olympics, much less about me. Stop fucking around, tell me the truth.”

“You know what? Fine! I give up! I don’t care about you, and I certainly dont care about the games. Good luck winning this alone. Knew I shouldn’t have listened to the coach.” He mutters, and almost walks away, until you grab him by the elbow. He makes a move to get rid of you, but you stand your ground.

“That’s why you asked me how I was doing? Because of the coach?” You look up at him. Anger is evident in your face.

“I thought you didn’t care? Make up your goddamn mind, (y/n)! Also, that’s not what I was even talking about. Stop assuming all the time!”

For the first time since this argument started, you’re at a loss of words. You couldn’t tell him you did care, you couldn’t tell him how betrayed you felt, you couldn’t tell how you felt at all.

“So what were you talking about then? Felt bad cause you’re leaving and wasn’t planning on telling me shit?”

“Where did you hear that from ?” You can see his face get hard, and you instantly regret what you said earlier. You’ve never seen him in such a serious state. “Nowhere. Forget it.” You try to wave him off and get on your way, but he doesn’t let you. You’ve definitely struck a nerve.

“No, I won’t forget it. Where did you hear that from? No one was supposed to know about this, especially not you. So, again, where the hell did you get that from?”

“I.. I just heard you and the coach speak about it when I passed your room in the hallway on the way to the cafeteria.” However, his outburst doesn’t stop you from getting defensive as well.

“So, are you happy? Stringing me along making me think we were finally doing well, and then just leave? Got want you wanted all along, right? How much of an asshole exactly are you? And don’t you dare tell me I’m the asshole, because that’s not true and you know it. You told me we were going to stick together, and then you just go, and you- you just..” you can’t help the sobs. You feel so incredibly stupid for letting your emotions take you over, and letting Oikawa know how much he hurt you. How much power he holds over you. Now there’s definitely no chance for him to genuinely try tomorrow, or even win. He’ll be too busy despising and avoiding you.

“Look at me. Come on, look at me.” The brown haired boy looks down at you, craddling your face with his hands.

“Cut the bullshit,” you sob, “I’m not falling for it anymore.” You tear his hands off your face.

“I’m not bullshitting you. I swear, god, I am not leaving the team, I did not mean to string you along, and I don’t hate you. At least not anymore.”

“So you did hate me!”

“So did you!”

“No I didn’t! You are such a moron, I can’t believe you. I like you. When I was twelve, when we first met, you remember the bad lift we did? Do you remember the way I looked at you back then? You thought treating me like shit was gonna be all it took for the feelings to magically disappear?”

“I can’t believe you’re calling me a moron when you’re truly not any better.” He says, and carefully cradles your face again. “Because I liked you, too.”

“You suck.”

He grins, and leans in. This time, you don’t fight him. You invite him in, and when he finally locks lips with yours, the fireworks are blowing up in your stomach. You throw your arms around his neck in an attempt to draw him close than you both already are, and his hands make their merry way to your waist. You could stay like this forever. Your brain goes haywire, and when Oikawa slightly pulls away, you can’t help but feel disappointed that it’s already over.

“Don’t worry, they’ll be many more to come,” Oikawa chuckles, in response to your obvious insatisfaction.

“I’m still mad at you for being an asshole for so long just because you were too pussy to tell me you liked me.” You point at his chest.

“Sorry, couldn’t resist the possibility of an ennemies to lovers with you.”

-

“Second place, (Country name), Oikawa Toorū and (y/n) (l/n)!”

Second place. It’s not what you wanted. You should feel sad and disappointed, but you’re not.

“I’m sorry we couldn’t win first place.” Oikawa murmurs. You let your foreheads touch, and whisper in reply, “I don’t mind. There’s always next time. Besides, even if I didn’t get first place, I got something else that I like way better.” Before your lips get to touch, however, a camera flash goes off, blinding the both of you, and you hear a few teenage girls in the bleachers whine.

“He’s taken now?” One of the girls indiscreetly whispers, and another one responds, with the same obvious disappointed tone, “I guess..”

You can’t find it in yourself to care. Looks like winning isn’t just about first place after all, because even if you haven’t won, you still feel more victorious than you ever have before.

©234423zip ALL RIGHTS RESERVED do not copy modify or translate my work/theme

[sjsmith56]

Third Date

Summary: Bucky, called out for a mission, ghosts Holly on his return, making her think he doesn’t care. When Sam comes to get her and take her to him he tells her what happened on the mission that affected Bucky. Before they can plan the third date there are things that have to be said.

Length: 4.1K

Characters: Bucky, Holly, Sam

Warnings: Angst, Bucky’s anxiety and negative self-talk, ghosting.

Author’s notes: I didn’t plan for this to become a therapy session but sometimes that’s where the writing takes you. Sam is kind of the voice of reason in this with his “just talk about it” attitude. Thought it fitting since he’s the one who composed and sent the original text asking Holly out on Bucky’s behalf. This is the final instalment of this story.

First date Second date

🌆 🌇 🌃

Holly

It had been almost three weeks since Ivy and I last saw Steve and Bucky. Pulled away on a mission just a few days after that amazing double date we had, meant that other than video calls or texts neither one of us had heard from the guys. About a week into the mission Bucky stopped calling. Then Ivy got a text from Steve a few days later that he was coming back in the next day. I had heard nothing from Bucky, and he didn’t respond to my texts or calls, which bothered me as I thought we had something really special starting. Two days after Steve’s supposed return, as I left work there was a truck parked across the street from the building and I recognized the man leaning against the truck. He waved, looked both ways then ran across the traffic.

“Hi, Holly,” he asked. “Remember me? I’m Sam Wilson, Bucky’s friend. We met at Coney Island. I’m here to get you.”

“I haven’t heard from him in a while,” I replied. “Steve came back, but Bucky hasn’t even called.”

Sam smiled sympathetically. “I know, and he’s sorry but something happened and he kind of swore Steve to secrecy. I think they’re both being dumbasses about it, so I made an executive decision. Do you want to see him?”

Maybe it was the sincere expression on his face or the fact he called both guys dumbasses, but something said I could trust Sam. I nodded and he guided me safely across the street, holding the door of his truck open for me. As I settled in while he started it, he glanced sympathetically at me.

“This was a really hard mission for Bucky,” he said. “One of the bases where he was experimented on in the 1950s was rebuilt and they were kidnapping kids, performing experiments on them against their will. This is classified, by the way, so don’t go telling anyone.”

“Is he alright?” I was worried now.

Even though I didn’t know all the details of when Bucky was held prisoner by HYDRA, I knew the basics; that he was experimented on, tortured and forced to kill for them. I could only imagine if he found kids in the same predicament how it might trigger his PTSD.

“He’s better but the whole thing took its toll on him,” said Sam. “He sometimes has a hard time dealing with the emotions it brings up in him. In fact, after they got the kids out, he went back on his own and started trashing the place. I mean literally tearing it apart and it kind of collapsed around him. He was trapped for a day which didn’t help matters. Steve, Thor and Tony were able to get him out, but he had injuries and spent the last few days in a healing cradle back at the Tower. He was released yesterday, and we encouraged him to call you but he’s sure you want nothing to do with him after he, well, ghosted you.”

“You care about him,” I stated. “He said you’re a major pain in the ass, but you do care.”

“I do tease him a lot and maybe I shouldn’t because it’s over things that he doesn’t know about, being a guy from the 1940s,” admitted Sam. “But I hate seeing him miserable and he’s miserable right now, thinking that he blew his chances with you.”

I didn’t say anything to that because I did feel like he ghosted me. Even though I was still mad, I was more disappointed that he wouldn’t let me know he had messed up. As Sam drove from Brooklyn towards Midtown, he asked me more about myself. We found some common ground as Ivy and I were from a fishing community, although we were from the west coast, and he was from Louisiana, co-owner of a fishing boat with his sister. As we got closer to our destination, I got the feeling he was also helping me calm down somewhat as he seemed to have the knack of affirming my negative emotions about being ghosted while encouraging me to be sympathetic to Bucky. I almost laughed when he pulled into the parking garage at Avengers Tower and parked the truck before giving me some advice.

“Just don’t beat him up too bad,” he said. “Tell him how his behaviour made you feel but give him a way to make amends for it.”

“You were a counsellor in a previous life, weren’t you?” I asked. “You’ve been preparing me to deal with him.”

He grinned and shrugged. “I counselled veterans for a time, but I did this because I like you and you make him happy. He still needs to own his mistakes, but he also needs to be led like a kid to see the brighter side of things.”

We entered the elevator, stopping at the lobby so that I could get registered for a friend security ID that would allow me to return almost any time. From there we went to another elevator, and he asked for a certain floor. A female voice came out of nowhere and greeted me by name. I looked at Sam, recognizing the voice from the car that Steve picked us up in for the double date.

“That’s the AI, Friday,” he explained. “You can ask her anything, and I mean anything.”

“Friday, should I forgive Bucky Barnes for ghosting me?” I asked facetiously.

“Sergeant Barnes is a man who still deals with his emotions like many men born at the same time as him,” said the AI, immediately. “It may seem frustrating to a modern woman that he would keep himself closed off, not wishing to inflict what he sees as his flaws on you. However, he is also loyal, faithful, sincere, and according to an analysis of masculine beauty standards is considered to fit in the higher percentile of attractive men, although he seems unaware of that. Based on those factors, forgiveness should be considered.”

I looked at Sam while he grinned at me. “I’m still thinking about it,” I said.

The doors opened to a floor, and we stepped out. There was a common room with a kitchen attached, as well as a large communal table. Several people were gathered around it and watched me as I got off the elevator. We turned in the other direction towards what I assumed were the living quarters. It was bright, large, and I had the feeling that the apartment I was going to was going to be considerably larger than the small flat that I lived in, the same flat that Bucky lived in just a few months previously. Knocking on one of the doors, Sam tentatively opened it and stuck his head inside then he stepped back out.

“Not there,” he said. “He’s not cleared for working out yet so he’s likely in one of his thinking spots. Back to the elevator. Friday, where is Sergeant Barnes?”

She told him and this time we took the elevator to the top, getting out on the roof of the Avengers Tower. I was expecting it to be cool and windy up there, but it was actually kind of nice and warm, without being hot. Sam told me where to go then he left me there. Taking a breath, I walked along the decking towards an assortment of patio furniture. Bucky was sitting on a lounge chair that looked out over the Manhattan skyline. As I approached, I could see that he was aware of someone coming closer.

“I said I don’t want to be bothered,” he called out, looking to the side. “Just leave me alone.”

“You can’t get rid of me that easily,” I answered, and he jumped off the chaise.

“Holly,” he whispered. “How did you ….”

“Sam came for me,” I answered. There were all sorts of questions I wanted to ask him, but Sam had said to lead with how his ghosting made me feel. “You didn’t call or text, and I thought you were ending it with me, before we even had a chance to see where this goes. That really hurt, Bucky.”

“I’m sorry,” he replied, looking sad. “I was dealing with some things, not very well either, and I thought I could handle them by myself.”

“So I heard. You got hurt.”

“Yeah.” He looked down at his hands. I stepped closer but he stepped away. “I’m not worth it, not really.”

“Not worth what?”

He ran his hands through his hair, which had grown out a bit in the few weeks since I saw him. His stubble was noticeable, making me wonder if that was a super soldier thing.

“Love. I’m broken, Holly. When things get too much, I have a hard time. It’s not fair for someone as amazing as you to be tied down to someone like me.”

“I thought we were just dating,” I stated. “Kind of early for love.”

“Guys I served with got married after just a few days of dating,” he answered. “They were the lucky ones. Had someone waiting at home for them. I didn’t.”

“If you met me in 1940, would you have dated me?” I asked.

“Yeah,” he smiled. “I would have taken you to dinner and dancing. We would go for walks in the park, sit on the benches in the shadows and make out. I would have given you a ring, so you would wait for me. My therapist said it doesn’t work like that anymore. You need time to get to know someone, to find out if you can add them to your life.”

He looked out over the skyline, and I never thought I saw someone so beautiful as him, at that moment. There was something vulnerable, and hopeful, but also sad about him, how he kept himself deliberately apart.

“My last boyfriend said I would be prettier if I lost 20 pounds,” I said. “The one before him said I was too needy which was weird because I only saw him every two weeks and he always phoned me. Before him there were several that basically told me I didn’t measure up to their ideal woman. With you, I’ve only ever felt beautiful, and appreciated, and loved. You’re not broken, Bucky, not if you know how to make me feel like something to be cherished and you do. We all have baggage and not all scars are physical but they’re still there. The only thing that heals them is time and love. I have the time and I definitely have the love just waiting for the right guy to return it to me. I want that guy to be you.”

“Really? Even with only two dates?”

“When you know you know,” I smiled. “We can go on as many dates as you want before we say anything but I’m just asking that you don’t sabotage us by thinking you’re not worth it because you are. You’re definitely boyfriend material and maybe more with the right woman.”

He just stood there, looking everywhere but at me so I came closer until I was right in front of him. There are so many romantic movies that use the same trope of when the heroine, who’s been unlucky in love, finally finds the strength to confront the hero, who’s either been busy with saving the world or just not realizing that the woman who is looking up at him at that moment is the one who wants to be with him. I felt like I was in one of those scenes right then and there. The sun was low in the west, casting a golden glow over Manhattan. We were alone on a skyscraper and a light breeze was gently blowing the tendrils of my hair across my face. Bucky, so handsome, with his chiseled features and those eyes, those damn fine blue eyes that changed with his emotions, were bright but sad. We were so close together that I could feel the heat coming from his body. Right now, those eyes were looking at me as if I held his fate in my hands.

“I’m afraid of hurting you,” he whispered, then he lifted his left hand, looking at it as if it were something alien. “When I have a nightmare, I don’t know my own strength and I panic. I could really hurt you if I hit you.”

“When you slept over the last time we saw each other did you have a nightmare?” I asked.

“No, but I was pretty relaxed,” he admitted. “I often get my nightmares after a mission, especially ones that trigger memories for me.”

Raising my hand, I tentatively touched his left arm, running my hand down to his hand, then supporting it as I caressed his palm.

“One of my friends went through a tough time after she left an abusive relationship,” I said. “Touch was really difficult for her, and she had nightmares as well, horrible ones where she would cower into herself and not let anyone touch her. At first, we didn’t understand, and we would try to hug her against her wishes. She would hit out in a panic to keep us from touching her. I got a few black eyes and quite a few bruises from her hits.”

He was still letting me touch his palm and I ran my hand back up to his shoulder, feeling the seam of the metal where it met the flesh of his body. For several moments he tensed, and his breathing became a little erratic, so I stopped but left my fingers on the spot, gently circling it with just a single fingertip.

“What are you doing?” he asked, his voice low.

“What we did for her to help her learn to trust again,” I said in my softest voice. “It wasn’t anything a therapist recommended. It was just something our circle of friends hoped would help. In a pleasant situation we started with little touches and caresses, while speaking gently to her, desensitizing her panic response. It took time but after a while when she had a nightmare, she was able to let us comfort her physically with hugs. The best part is that the panic attacks decreased.” His breathing had eased as I explained while still gently rubbing that circle on his shoulder. “I’m still touching the part of your shoulder where you reacted just a few minutes ago but now your breathing is normal and you’re not tense.”

I stopped but kept my hand there. He took a deep breath and looked up to the sky for a moment then back at me.

“I’m still afraid,” he said. “I like you so much and the thought of it becoming more is so appealing but if I hurt you, it will send me deeper into the darkness.”

“Then we have a safe word,” I suggested. “I know most people think of it as something sexual to draw a boundary so that a partner doesn’t go too far but it can also be used in a situation involving emotional upheaval, a way to say back off so that the person with you knows that you’re at the limit of your control.”

“Kind of hard when I’m still in between dreaming and waking up,” answered Bucky, then he became thoughtful. “Although, if I get the idea implanted in my consciousness maybe it’s something that I’ll be able to blurt out and you can get away from me.”

“A therapist can suggest it as a post-hypnotic command,” I mused, then saw the look of panic on his face. “Okay, or not. It might be something that we work on. If you’re really stressed after a mission, just send me a text with the word and I’ll know you’re not ghosting me, just dealing with things. I can respect that. When you’re ready I’ll be around. Just don’t shut me out, Bucky. It hurt.”

“I’m so sorry.” He wrapped his arms around me, burying his face in my neck. “I missed you and I’m so sorry I let my fear keep me from talking to you.”

I squeezed him back, feeling the impact of his worry for me. It was obvious that I meant something to him. Just as I was about to tell him something he released me. His face was more alive as he looked down at me.

“We have to go out,” he said. “Third date. Anything you want.”

I looked out over the view from where we were.

“Can we just sit up here and watch the sunset first?” I asked. “I’ve never been on a building this high to see that before. Then, maybe we can go for pizza or something and go for a walk after?”

He smiled at me then and I felt like my insides had turned warm and mushy.

“We can do that,” he agreed.

He led me over to the assortment of patio furniture that was there. Arranging the pieces together so that we could recline and see the sunset he helped me on then sat beside me. With his arm around me, while basking in the warmth that I drew from his body it was almost perfect.

Bucky

I almost lost her; lost her before I could tell her how incredible she was. I almost lost her because I fell into my old trap of withdrawing into myself whenever it got too hard to deal with my past. As we were at that base, with the sounds, sights, and smells that I remembered from when HYDRA had me, assaulting me constantly while we dealt with the small army that was there, all I could think of was this wasn’t real. Real was falling asleep next to Holly on her couch, then waking up next to her when the sun poured into that tiny flat that had felt like a dormitory to me when I lived there. But Holly had made it a home, with plants and pictures, cushions and throw blankets that had me wanting to be there with her, more than I ever wanted to be there before. She did that, gave me a sense that I could have a future with someone, with her. Then I had to almost blow it by ghosting her because the pain of what we found in that base brought so much anger and fear; nothing that I wanted to taint her with.

As we watched the sunset; rather she watched the sunset while I watched her, I thanked whatever god there was that gave me Sam for a friend. Steve was willing to let me wallow in my misery, not wanting to impose his will on mine, thinking he was being kind. But Sam went right to what I needed. He went and got Holly, bringing her back to the Tower so that I could draw some strength from her. How could one woman be so strong, and make me feel so weak, but in a good way? Weak in that I wanted to please her, to follow her lead, to be vulnerable with her in a way that I never was before with a woman. That’s what I felt with Holly, not like the jacked up enhanced human that HYDRA made me but just a guy who thought he might be in love with this girl.

“It’s so beautiful,” she said as the sun dipped behind the buildings. “Different than a sunset over the ocean but beautiful just the same.” She noticed I wasn’t watching the sunset. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“I’m agreeing with you,” is what came out of my mouth.

I meant to say that she was beautiful, but it got tangled up with her comment about the sunset. It didn’t matter because her face glowed as she blushed, and I felt it deep inside of me. As the sun sunk lower to the horizon, obscured by the other Manhattan buildings and the clouds spread out, the orange colour deepened then dissipated as the indigo blue of night seeped into the sky. The solar lights up top came on and we found ourselves in the dark, except for the little pools of white light that would guide us back to the elevator. I shifted to get up, remembering that I said we could go for pizza, but she put her hand on my chest. No words were required as I bent my head to hers and kissed her. The touch of her soft hands on my neck and hair felt like heaven while she tasted like honey. With my arms I pulled her close, wanting to mold my body to hers. Without even thinking I whispered to her.

“Stay with me tonight.”

It was too late to take it back, but I didn’t regret saying it. Being close to her in as many ways possible had already occurred to me before I regressed and her keeping me on this soft chair with her indicated that perhaps she felt the same way. She could have given me any number of excuses not to stay; work, no extra clothes, too soon … but none of those came out of her lips.

“Alright.”

That one word almost sent me over the edge. After all that I had done to sabotage our relationship from going any further she liked me enough (maybe even more) to say yes, to agreeing to stay with me. I would have asked her to marry me at that moment; following in the footsteps of so many soldiers in World War II who met and married the right girl in a few weeks or less. Then she made me laugh with her next words.

“Can we get the pizza first? I’m starving.”

“Me too,” I replied. “I haven’t eaten well since I started the mission. Come on.”

This time Holly let me help her off of the chaise and we walked, hand in hand, to the elevator. Just before we got there I stopped and caressed her face. An idea had formed in my mind, and I wanted to share it before we left the rooftop.

“I think I know the safe word, but I don’t want to use it to keep you away. I want you to use it on me so that I know you’re close and that you care about me and then maybe I’ll feel safe enough to stop panicking.”

“What is it?” she asked.

“Sunset,” I replied, looking back at where we had watched it together. “It will remind me of being here with you and feeling … loved.”

“Sunset,” she repeated, smiling softly. “I like that.”

We went down to the common room, partly to let them know I was better, but I also wanted the others to formally meet Holly. She showed me that Sam set her up with a friend's security ID that would allow her access to the Avengers level of the building, meaning she could drop in almost any time. Both Steve and Sam came to give her a hug and we sat talking with the others for a while. Then I stood up and took her by the hand.

“We’re going out for some pizza, somewhere close,” I said. “Kind of our third date.” She squeezed my hand and smiled at me, so I made a leap in logic. “You’re welcome to come with us, if you want. We can make an evening of it.”

“I should go pick up Ivy then,” said Steve. “Don’t want her feeling left out.”

We waited while the others got ready, and I leaned down close. “That’s what you signalled, right?”

A big smile crossed her face. “Yeah, I kind of want to get to know the people you’re around the most. That’s alright, isn’t it?”

“It’s perfect.”

It was perfect and I was actually looking forward to it, to being with Holly, and my friends. Being alone seemed easy but it wasn’t. It just isolated me further and now that I had Holly, I wanted more of what I once had; good friends, good times, and maybe one day, someone to come home to, someone to be my tether to life and love. By the time we got down to the street level and headed to the nearest pizzeria I knew for sure who I wanted it to be. With Holly’s hand in mine, I felt hopeful, and hope was a good thing.

If you liked this one shot please like, comment, or reblog.

[ilguna]

my official tbosas thoughts. WARNING spoilers ahead and double warning, i am all over the place

FIRST i wanna say that their attention to detail is truly like!!! the beginning scene where the man is cannibalizing (? i believe that’s what i saw, OR it was the dog, it was so dark that i missed it) and young tigris was talking about the things people do when they’re desperate. it made me think about how the capitol is SO traumatized from the dark days that they’re still storing food in the capitol, 65 years later. which is talked about in mockingjay while the squad is storming the capitol.

ANYWAY, i think it’s really interesting that they cut the film into three parts, because that’s how the books have always been done. but it was a weird change considering that hunger games, catching fire and both mockingjays did not have that black screen with the section title. nonetheless, it didn’t bother me.

the way that they set up the scene for them being inside the house w the cockroach was pretty perfect. all i could think about was the cabbage soup in the book. but they did the food aspect by showing off the fridge and it having no food in it.

i think tigris was pretty perfect, i wouldn’t have changed a single thing if i’m being honest.

umumum I don’t remember dean highbottom having an addiction in the book? and i’m the hunger games nerd in my family so it was weird not being able to answer the question on what he was taking (i know it’s revealed at the end but still) because i don’t remember it being mentioned. in fairness, i haven’t read tbosas in YEARS.

i think they missed the true sinister possibility with gaul. because the whole paper scene and clemensia getting bit, resulted in her getting scaly. i kept waiting for her to pop up (and for coriolanus to visit her) because it would show that gaul was more of an evil character that what she already presented as.

as for dear old lucy gray, i hated the accent. i hated every minute of the accent. and the faces that rachel made when she sang were… odd to say the least. speaking of singing, it was even weirder to see the capitol to have such an emotional reaction each time she did. bc it was literally every scene.

they truly managed to secure the fucking awkward aspect of her singing on the reaping stage. cause grabbing the microphone was nailed.

tributes were exactly like i had imagined them to be, i wouldn’t have changed anything there. i totally forgot that the whole sponsor drone thing was fucked up until that first gift was sent and it almost killed somebody. because they’re made to target the tribute and won’t stop.

also that one tribute escaping out of the arena when it was blown up? absolutely beautiful. that’s another detail. as well as arachne getting stabbed in the throat bc she was teasing her tribute with food. i wasn’t sure if they’d show that.

hmm, beyond that i don’t really have any thoughts. it ended the exact way it had in the books, more or less. i don’t think they skipped a single scene??? besides coriolanus properly meeting lucy gray’s family at their house, i think.

and we didn’t really get a good introduction to the covey, something i don’t mind.

all in all, definitely my favorite film now.

—

EDIT: i’ve had some time to think about the movie/book.

listen, i’m not mad by any of the changes. like i said, they covered a lot of what happened in the book.

what they never mentioned: the three C’s. chaos, control and contain(?) i believe. i would’ve liked to see that implemented more with gaul while she was making her point on what the hunger games are about.

also, the DRONES! another thing i was waiting for (after i remember that the drones targeted the tribute they were designated for) was the tribute (teslee) literally hacking them and using them as a weapon against other tributes.

that’s all i have for now!

[skylarmoon71]

Winchester - (Supernatural / Smallville Crossover AU) - Chapter 2

Settling into Smallville was easier than you thought.

For one, being new made you basically invisible. You weren’t exactly a local, so you had sort of free range. Not many people paid much attention. 

You could conduct your research without being questioned by a group of curious friends or adults. While you had gotten acquainted with Clark’s friends, they never really asked when you would disappear to the library for hours. They probably just assumed you were a bookworm.

Chloe seemed overall excited that someone was as interested in the weird as she was.

That’s why you’re currently seated at the back of the library, adding another news clipping to your little journal.

The presence of someone momentarily distracts you. When you lift your head, the first thing you spot is the length of plaid.

“Hey Clark, what’s up?”

Your eyes are back in your book.

“I haven’t seen you for a few days. I just wanted to check in on you.”

“I’m fine, just busy.”

“That’s good.”

You thought that’s all he wanted, but he was still standing there a bit awkwardly. 

You pause.

“Umm, did you need something else?”

If you’re being honest he’s been acting weird for the last few weeks. Since you discovered his secret. Now it feels like you understand.

“Clark, I promise I won’t tell anyone.”

Maybe he just needs reassurance. He finally looks a bit more calm, taking a seat right next to you.

“That’s not what I was really worried about.”

Now you’re a bit puzzled.

“This doesn’t scare you?” He asks.

“What do you mean?”

“The fact that I’m you know..” He looks around, then leans over.

“An alien.”

You’re about to laugh, but he seems serious.

“Clark, I literally told you I hunt monsters. I know angels and I’m pretty sure this town is filled with supernaturally powered people. I think  a harmless alien that runs around actually helping people are the least of my problems."

Despite his previous unease, he leans back in his chair with a smile.

You sort of understand his hesitance. None of his friends are aware of this. His powers, the meteor shower, his spaceship. They’re all in the dark, so some part of him must assume that if they ever knew, they wouldn’t be able to accept him.

Accept that secret.

You supposed it was never a worry for you. You’ve never stayed in a place long enough to wonder what other people thought about you or your life. You have no attachments, not like Clark. So there’s no fear of losing that. You always thought that the only thing you needed was your brothers and your few hunter and angel friends. Clark has an entire life here. A lot to lose, to fear.

Closing your book, you turn to him slowly.

It might be time to come clean about your own fears, maybe it might give him at least a peace of mind.

“Do you know why I love books so much?”

He looks intrigued, shaking his head, ready for an explanation.

“A few years ago I learned that I have grace, much like an angel. I’m human but my body can accommodate something beyond my understanding. Some really bad people realized this and they tried to take me, make me into a weapon so my brothers did everything to stop it. For weeks, months, they went through every possible piece of text known to man.”

You turn over your palm, staring at the small tattoo.

Clark’s eyes drift to your wrist that has a small book with an S and an D marked inside of the small page design.

“I wanted to help, I wanted to feel useful, so I started doing the same. I did a deep dive and eventually we found a spell to make me invisible to the threat. Because of them I can live freely without fear. At that moment I guess I realized it. Knowledge is power. I’ve lost count of how many times that a spell, or some lore has saved our lives. I guess in some crazy way I clung unto that. In this life I know there isn’t anything my brothers won’t do for me, the same way your parents have probably always protected you.”

The look of recognition flashes in his eyes and you smile.

“Being different isn’t easy. There will always be a weight that comes with that, not just for us, but the people that we love. At the end of the day, all we can do is help make that weight more bearable. Reading, understanding what’s out there, that’s what I can do. Helping people, that’s the part that you play. There’s always going to be something to worry about, but it doesn’t have to be what drives us. We can all make a difference in our own way. Just have faith that it’ll work out.”

Maybe he understands, because he looks a bit more at ease.

“You’re right, thank you (Y/N).”

You grin.

“Anytime, now can you grab those books over on that shelf. It’s pretty high and I saw something about mermaids, I can’t wait to see what that’s about.”

Clark laughs as you point at the shelf.

He can already tell that your company will be an exciting little adventure. 

[just-orbiting-you]

on twitter tae solos and even tkkers are literally spiraling and going crazy about the fact that jikook were setting boundaries and telling him that ays is THEIR show and they let him come. it’s kind of insane to see all these tweets but really goes to show how much they coddle tae. how did you interpret the way jikook said it was their show at the japanese restaurant? did u think it was a joke? i honestly took it as a joke when i first watched the ep but rewatching it still obviously feels like they were joking but now i feel like there was some hard truth to what they were saying, we all know jikook have a bluntness in their sarcasm that to eachother can be funny but everytime they joked about him being a guest i can feel the animosity. it honestly made me feel bad for them cause i get hes a close friend and band mate but imagine all of the sudden the plans u had for two changed to three because of a group schedule chat, they didn’t even tell him or the other members themselves lol. anyways this ep felt more light and fun with jikook. i know tae was tired and a little sick but the way he stepped back multiple times to let them be showed he also saw how his presence caused a bit of tension. sorry for the long ask, don’t know if ur tired of talking about this situation lol but i wanted to hear ur thoughts!

hey! thanks for your ask! no worries about the length!! i apologize this ended up being so long 💀💀.

this ties into a larger issue with fans of bts these days, where finding slight issue with a member’s behavior, etc. or in this case, stating literal fact opens the door for defensive stans. you’re right, it is coddling and they were coddling him a month ago with his instagram post. tae stans to me are some of the loudest, most defensive, and will never really see the fault in their rhetoric. that thread someone made saying “tae being the ‘uninvited’ guest” and it was all the ways they deliberately accommodated him and deliberately gave him the spotlight. people are coping hard.

i’d like to compare this situation to jungkook’s second suchwita episode, which was shot around the same time and has a very similar vibe. in this episode, taehyung randomly shows up to their shoot after seeing that jungkook was filming that day from the infamous group chat. jungkook’s immediate reaction was “we are doing a shoot, could you please leave?” which ended in a fit of giggles. yoongi and jungkook make a few comments about how he showed up to just eat their prepared meal and when asked to address army in the video, tae just does a thumbs up. jungkook goes “that wasn’t a sentence,” and tae ends up saying the generic 2025 stuff. he makes small reactionary comments, talks over the other two, but basically just sits, listens to their conversation, and mindlessly eats. where i feel like jimin and hobi were integrated as a part of the larger conversation in taemin and jin’s episodes respectively, (probably because they were planned appearances) tae presents as a slightly awkward presence in the video.

i bring this up to say, while the stakes weren’t as high as are you sure, jungkook said a similar comment which while serious in tone as their omakase comments, ended up being in jest. jungkook nor yoongi stopped the shoot to kick him out. i also think there’s a “well he’s our bandmate…” at play here. like they’re not going to kick out taehyung, it’s taehyung, you know. while his presence may have been slightly distracting, yoongi and jungkook still were able to have their conversation and finish the shoot.

i personally think are you sure was bigger offense, purely because this was a trip with preparation, flights, planning and crews involved. and while many have been saying “jimin and jungkook were seemingly happy to have them there and let it happen,” yes they did. again, it’s taehyung, how could they refuse him, especially if he played a pity card of “why am i being left out of this?”

i haven’t seen this problem with any other member’s behavior during chapter 2, where that member overstays his welcome during another member’s schedule. but tae has a unique way of making me say “why is he here, what purpose does his presence serve?” and i think to him, everything is silly and informal, since these are his members. but he doesn’t have the foresight or awareness to think “well what am i intruding into? why do i feel entitled to be here?” it’s a matter of respect.

hence why i think they made the comments that they did. they accommodated him, made arrangements with the crew to change the plan in 48 hours, yet he turns around to say “i shouldn’t have come here” or “why didn’t another member show up” as if their efforts for him were worthless and he was now running the show to invite whoever. everyone of these conversations ends in a lighthearted tone, just like jungkook’s suchwita comment. but i think they effectively put their foot down with the omakase conversation and they had to. while “i shouldn’t have come here” ends in laughs and jokes, i don’t think jikook particularly liked that comment if they both were saying “go home then!”

if tae didn’t get the memo with that reaction, he got it from jikook at the omakase restaurant, he should at least be grateful instead of making flippant comments. i don’t know what the circumstances were on why he wasn’t debriefed or had any assumption about why this shoot was taking place, because he really does not have the awareness on that first day. jikook did something nice for him but they know how tae is. he expressed feeling left out initially, then they poke fun at him being the “guest looking for attention.”

so tldr, i think we can chock the comments up to playful ribbing with a touch of passive aggression, especially from jungkook. even if they felt like they had to, jikook still let him come and seemingly had fun with him, so i don’t think they have it in them to be outright angry or upset on camera. but their persistent small comments throughout the ep do tell me that there might be a touch of exasperation with him working his way into their plans.

[theelectronicstranger]

Loki Season 2 Episode 6 “Glorious Purpose” Thoughts and Theories

          If you have not seen this episode, then please look away. I loved this ending, and you should be able to watch it without getting spoiled, so please read this later if you haven’t seen the episode.

          This is probably one of the best endings that an MCU Disney+ show has ever had. I was worried coming into this episode because sometimes the MCU just kind of does a big fight scene in the last two episodes of its series then they call it a day. This didn’t happen here, which I’m thankful for. Sure, you can have problems with this ending. I can think of a few but to me it works. What basically happens is Loki, after trying numerous times to save the TVA and all universes in existence, finds out that the Temporal Loom was always a failsafe. If He Who Remains Dies, then it is set to blow everything up except for the sacred timeline. That’s why He Who Remains is so confident that he’ll come back because he knows that everything will pretty much reset, and he’ll be back on his throne in no time. Loki’s only true choices are to side with He Who Remains and play his game with him OR he could destroy the temporal loom, which will/might cause this multiversal war.

          Loki ends up choosing his own option, one that’s based on what Mobius and Sylvie has told him, he decides to destroy the temporal loom; sit on the throne at the end of time; and he becomes the guiding force for these multiversal branches to grow.  He basically becomes the Yggdrasil tree, but if the Yggdrasil tree encompassed all of the multiverse and not just the nine realms that make up one universe.

          This was such an amazing episode. Loki time slipping back and forth to try to prevent the Temporal Loom from collapsing was such a fun sequence. I think Tom Hiddleston really gave it his all in this series. The sequence with him as he walks towards the end of the gangway to destroy the Temporal Loom was amazing. The temporal radiation pealing away his TVA uniform, and we slowly see his Asgardian robes and helmet forming was such a good visual. Same with him on the throne weaving the multiversal branches together. Loki basically got what he wanted by the end of this episode but at a cost. He finally got to be on a throne, and he made sure that his friends are safe.

By the way, Tom Hiddleston basically completes his transformation as the Doctor from Doctor Who in this episode. He literally learns everything he knows about mechanics, physics, and engineering, then the next time we saw him he was as smart as the Doctor. Well, he kind of acted like how the Doctor would act I thought.

I like how because of the events that transpired this episode, the TVA seems to now be a force that helps multiverses grow and a force that is trying to make sure that Kang doesn’t destroy the universe. I think they’re going to prune his variants from the timeline or at least just stop him in some other way. Also, I’m sure that the TVA is good hands with Hunter B-15. I think she will be a great leader along with Casey and OB. I’m pretty sure we are going to see them again (or at least I hope so). Especially, if a He Who Remains Variant is involved.

Speaking of which, this episode showed me how conniving He Who Remains was. He basically had all of these fail safes and plans to make sure that he is in power. Also, I think this showed us how powerful and smart a Kang variant could be better than Quantumania did. I liked Quantumania but I don’t like how Kang was defeated there. Yes, it showed what one Kang variant could do on his own which is what I really liked about the movie, but I don’t think he should have been defeated there.

Mobius and Sylvie played a big part in Loki’s decision in this episode. They basically told him to make the harder choice even though it comes with great burden, especially if these harder choices would be the good and right thing. I hope these two get to live their lives to be honest. I hope Sylvie is somewhere out there finding the family she was taken from or at least living a life that she would be happy with. I hope that mobius is somewhere in the water riding his jet ski. I just want the lad to live his life and be happy. I’m also glad he got to see what his real life was like. It was pretty sweet when he chose to just pass the time in there for a bit.

By the way, just a random fact, there were things here that was said by He Who Remains and some other characters that was also said in The Marvels. I immediately picked up on it because I literally just saw it a few hours ago. I’m sure it’s not connected but it was weird to hear the same things.

THEORIES:

          I don’t really have many theories for this episode. I do think that we will see Loki again at some point. I’m pretty sure he’s going to be the way that Marvel is going to try and get back the old Avengers like Steve Rogers and Tony Stark. There’s been rumors about them getting the old team back and I think Loki would be the way to do that if they want.

          Also. Mild Spoilers for The Marvels, but something happens there that this one character says is impossible, but this episode answers why that is possible now.

          I hope you enjoyed reading this. Thank you for reading. I have a migraine right now, so I hope this all made sense. If there’s anything you guys want to talk about, or you think I might be wrong on certain things then please let me know. I’d love to know what you think.

[januaryembrs]

Hello hun, hope you’re well ,

So listen, I am the anon that had posted before about how your writing is something else. I haven’t been here in a while but among other things, you kinda resurrected my Reblog and Fic phase lol. I have so many things to say and it felt dishonest to do so anonymously. You have a knack man. You write like you were born with a pen in between your fingers.

You know, Jane Austen had a knack for romance. She wrote it like no one else ever has. She wrote with words that would suck you in and brand your heart with a hot iron. Made sure no one who read any of her books would ever forget her. Shirley Jackson was almost unparalleled when writing mystery and horror. So many of her stories, no matter how many times I’ve read them or reread them, still get my skin to crawl and the hairs at the back of my neck to rise. And I could go on and on about so many other authors but I really just want to talk about you.

Usually, I come to fanfiction for sweet romance. Unattainable love to satiate a yearning. Blah blah I love love lol. But I found you. Gosh, Em. (I’m assuming I can call you that, it’s the only name I saw, Sorry) Angst is such a hard thing to write. And a lot of people disagree because everyone has felt pain so everyone can describe it. But you don’t just write angst, no. You rip my heart out from my chest and make me watch as you fiddle with each of my nerves. You don’t just write angst, you feel it with words. You somehow are able to hook with each sentence and make me feel your words. It’s almost like a sirens song. You lure me in with promise of a story and leave me bruised and battered. But content.

I really wish my words convey what I’m trying to say. Honey, people fuck up angst so easily. Sometimes they make it too rushed or too harsh, too unbelievable or too exaggerated. But you? You write it like the heavens themselves created suffering after your work. And some people might think that it’s just another fanfic, but gods no. This is something else entirely. I hope you take this as the birth of your own genre, because you’re unique. Millions of books by millions of authors that will write sweet suffering yet none of them reach the soles of the ginormous boots you have on.

And don’t get me started on your imagery. On your descriptors. On your tone, your pace, your everything. I could talk about you and your work, (and already have) for literal days. You are something else hun.

Now, confidently with my name attached lol, I do want to know whenever you post your book. Whether a short story or a multi book that rivals game of thrones lol. I will pay an unimaginable amount of money for that. That being said, I’m exited for the next chapter to drop later today!!!! I’m preparing by shamelessly re-reading the story yet again. Also I apologize for the long note, I could not stop my ramble.

Hun please take care of yourself, much love!!

Hey pookie!! First of all this read like POETRY I hope you take interest in writing yourself because you write so beautifully in my inbox and make my face blush every damn time. Thankyou so much for your constant love and support, you make me feel like I really have a shot in the dark when it comes to publishing a book of my own (and yes it’s going to be a dark fantasy trilogy!) which is something I have genuinely always thought was far too big a reach for a dumb little english girl like me. You are far too sweet than I deserve in my opinion however it is so nice to log on and see these messages because it makes all the hours worth it 💗💗💗 thankyou so so so much for being so kind you don’t know how much it means considering they’re just words on a screen, I CHERISH every one of them 💗💗

(Also yes!! You can call me Em or Pookie or literally whatever you like 💗)

[remastered-feedback]

There’s something I’ve been wanting to get off of my chest and I haven’t been able to think of a proper place to do so, and this seems as good as any:

It is indescribably exhausting living as a Jew in a society that doesn’t really know how to handle any religion that isn’t a denomination of Christianity.

Sometimes it’s the fact that I’m required to take Christmas, Easter, et al. off from work even though I don’t celebrate them, while if I want to take the holidays off that I actually celebrate, I have to burn vacation days. Let me work on the holidays I don’t celebrate and take off the ones I do!

Sometimes it’s the way that Jews and Judaism are taken and used as a shield to deflect criticism in the name of “Judeo Christian values” that often have very little to do with any mainstream interpretations of Judaism and the overwhelming majority of Jews disagree with, yet are accepted in popular consciousness as “A thing Jews agree with” because Judaism is treated in a lot of mainstream culture as “A funny version of Christianity that stops at the old testament.”

On that note, sometimes it’s the way that people act as if they have a thorough understanding of Jews, Judaism, and Jewish culture just by reading the old testament, which, putting aside alterations and differences between the Tanakh and the old testament, ignores literal millennia of scholarship and growth and traditions and evolution.

Sometimes it’s the way that conversations about what is and isn’t antisemitic often seem to end with Jewish voices spoken over and ignored by people who are more concerned with making sure it doesn’t apply to them than they are with the well-being of the Jewish community, a behavior that should be as gauche as a white person talking over people of color about racism or a cishet person talking over queer people about homophobia and transphobia, but is accepted an infuriating amount of the time. External voices do not get to define a minority community’s experiences of marginalization for them.

Sometimes it’s the way that popular conception of religion as a whole basically boils down to “Different flavors of Christianity” and all of its tendencies and baggages and stances are foisted onto religions that a lot of those things straight-up do not apply to. I’m looking at you ex-Christian Atheists, the number of people who have renounced their faith but are still very clearly looking at the world through a Christian lens is amazing.

Sometimes it’s the way that Jewish traditions and history are appropriated and used in ways that show no respect for Jews or Judaism. Please stop with the Easter Seders. They’re far from the only instance of Christianity appropriating elements of Judaism, but they’re easily the most obvious. They’re not cute, they’re not appreciated, they’re rarely done with any actual understanding of how a real Seder works, and frankly they show a real lack of historical understanding given the Passover meal that was observed by Jews of Jesus’ era bore little resemblance to the modern Seder.

Sometimes it’s the way that a disturbing number of Christians treat us like living relics, talking to our face as if we’re some proto-Christian time capsule from a long-lost era. Interest is cool and appreciated! Talking about me like I’m a museum piece is not appreciated! Assuming that I’m just a 1.0 Christian who’s a quick conversation about Jesus away from converting and getting that 2.0 update is very not appreciated!

And I can go on and on and on and fucking on about this for ages, because it is a literally daily thing. It’s fucking exhausting. And I’m sure other non-Christian groups have some very similar experiences.

[goodnightmemes]

BONES SENTENCE STARTERS / s01e09 - s01e11

❛ Could you stop galloping for, like, two seconds? ❜

❛ Better able to withstand peer pressure when you can't catch me. ❜

❛ Friends don't let friends photocopy their butts at company Christmas parties. ❜

❛ I've already had an eggnog, if you can't tell. ❜

❛ Will you escort [name] to the Christmas party and make sure she doesn't photocopy her butt? ❜

❛ You robot reminds me of you. You tell it to turn, it stops. You tell it to stop, it turns. You ask it to take out the garbage, it watches reruns of Firefly. ❜

❛ Hey, we've got about half a liter of pure alcohol here. Dump it in the eggnog, and we've got the best Christmas party in history. ❜

❛ You really think [name]'s gonna let you spike the eggnog after the Fourth of July fiasco? ❜

❛ Listen to me. There is a party going on upstairs, okay? A Christmas party. We're going up there. We're gonna talk to some people, we're gonna sing some carols, we're gonna drink some eggnog. ❜

❛ You are going to kiss me under the mistletoe. On the lips. ❜

❛ There's no use panicking until we know what it is. ❜

❛ Hey, I got into the decontamination shower with [name]. Haven't I been through enough hell? ❜

❛ Anyone besides me worried that a guy dressed like Santa is in charge? ❜

❛ Okay, you know what? If this is fatal, I will shoot both of you. ❜

❛ Whoa, whoa, whoa. You're saying that we're stuck here over Christmas? ❜

❛ You know what? I never realized how pretty all this shiny stuff is. ❜

❛ That word's just a little bit Christmasier than what I was thinking. ❜

❛ It's after midnight! Christmas Eve day. Both an eve and a day. It's a Christmas miracle. ❜

❛ You don't seem too upset about missing Christmas. ❜

❛ Oh, right, right. You can't measure the man upstairs in a beaker, so he can't possibly exist. ❜

❛ Could someone in a position of responsibility please order [name] to shut up? ❜

❛ Since we're gonna be stuck together for Christmas, we should make the most of it. ❜

❛ Wow, that's deep. That's a very deep pile of crap. ❜

❛ You know, you make it very, very hard for me to be nice to you. ❜

❛ At least I'm an accidental Grinch. All due respect, you're the Grinch on purpose. ❜

❛ Okay, brief announcement. You guys might recognize my dad, but I don't really want to talk about it, so, thanks. Okay? That's all. ❜

❛ Were you being metaphoric? ❜

❛ I need a receptionist. I can't just have anybody waltzing in here. ❜

❛ When you say things like that it's just to bug me, right? ❜

❛ I'm always gonna drive. You know that, right? Me behind the wheel; you over there on the grandma side. ❜

❛ They're guys. They should just lay them out on the table and measure. ❜

❛ Do you want to speak up because it's really hard to hear every word in this very very quiet waiting room? ❜

❛ You touch her; she'll break your arm. ❜

❛ Is that your way of apologizing? ❜

❛ I love your guts, sweetie. ❜

❛ Science is no country for storytellers. ❜

❛ You're ordering a prostitute from my cell phone? ❜

❛ This is the type of situation where people say oh my God. ❜

❛ We were born unique. Our experiences mold and change us. We become someone. All of us, and to have that taken away by murder, to be erased from existence against our will, it's just…unacceptable. ❜

❛ I'm not swearing any damn loyalty oath. ❜

❛ You know if this works, I'm gonna buy you a puppy. ❜

❛ I don't know how you do that. Bring a kid into this world, knowing what you know. ❜

❛ It never occurred to you that might be a sensitive topic? ❜

❛ You're certainly making the whole domestic scene more and more attractive. ❜

❛ I've seen people kill for 50 bucks. ❜

❛ Why dread something that hasn't happened yet? ❜

❛ I know things that would make your blood curdle. Including a formula that literally curdles blood! ❜

❛ Intelligence doesn't determine what you do so much as how effectively you do it. ❜

❛ Just back out of my personal space there buddy. ❜

❛ Usually, I enjoy your company. It's times like these that you give me a little something else to worry about. ❜

❛ I think it's a very bad sign when discourse become suspect. ❜

❛ If there's a slight chance that I can save him by shutting up, then that's what I'll do. ❜

❛ Analytically I understand that many lives out way the one. But I cannot trade my son's life. ❜

❛ You know what? You tough guys are all very sentimental. ❜

❛ Way to go. We went from genius to idiot in 3 seconds. ❜

❛ Do you have bullet-proof vests in the trunk? ❜

❛ Please, just be someone you aren't for the next ten minutes and hang back. ❜

❛ It's not often I get to help save someone before they die. ❜