#but I forgot 🙁

[fabraies-archive]

BREAK THE ICE

notes n warnings ❅ *: figure skater! oikawa toorū x fem! figure skater! reader, mentions of diets and bad eating habits, this took a long time i’m sorry I literally wrote this while I was having a ton of exams, I hope the pacing is fine I feel like it’s a little too fast :( wc 5.3k

part one of snowflakes are kisses from heaven series

“WINNING IS FIRST PLACE, EVERYTHING ELSE IS LOSING”

The sentence keeps replaying in your head like a mantra, and you feel like you’re being suffocated. You were supposed to be able to master this routine. It’s nothing you haven’t encountered before, and the media portrayed you as a young, headstrong skater who succeeded in everything she undertook. So why couldn’t you do it? You’re the best. You’ve got titles and medals other skaters could only dream of having. At the very least, you used to be the best, because it just so seems that your best doesn’t cut it anymore. Soon enough, your previous achievements will be worth nothing, and your trophies will catch dust. So when your partner’s comments came flying at you, you feel as if they’re the straw that broke the camel. “Seriously? A toe loop made you fall?” Oikawa turns his head towards your choreographer, and snickers, “Looks like the program’s going to need a few changes after all.”

You had both been skating together for 7 years. Somehow, in 7 years, Oikawa hadn’t managed to be any less insufferable than he was when your coach introduced you both to each other.

7 YEARS AGO

The front door creeks open, and you turn around at the speed of light. ‘Mrs Coach’, as you used to call her, is holding a boy’s wrist, dragging him further into the training center. The boy himself didn’t look like he was too keen on entering the place, seemingly upset. He couldn’t be more than 14. That’s already pretty old to me, you cringe, I’m only twelve.

He looks down at you, eyebrow raised. “I’m supposed to skate with her? How old even is this kid ?” You feel your cheeks redden. Kid? Did he just actually call you that? Was your coach really about to let this slide? Surely not.

“She’s twelve, that’s only a two year age gap, there’s worse out there. And for the record, this is just a test to see if you guys work well together. You can keep your hopes up for a little while.” You can hear a hint of amusement in her voice, turning her back on you to walk towards the rink. “Let’s get going! I have a feeling you two’ll be a great match.”

Next to you, Oikawa grumbles.

-

Whatever your coach saw in you two, you didn’t. You kept bickering for the entire time, and you couldn’t manage anything more difficult than a few jumps in unison and a bad lift. Truth be told, the latter still makes you blush when thinking about it. As his despisable as his personality is, you couldn’t deny his looks. So when he lifted you in the air, you felt like you were about to explode. Your little twelve-year-old-heart could only take so much.

“You guys are truly great together, I was right. You’ll see, with more training, you two will make it to the Olympics!”

Your eyes sparkle at your coach’s outburst. The Olympics... You’d do anything to get there. And a grumpy teenage boy in the middle of a teenagehood crisis was certainly not about to stop you.

“Yeah, well, the Olympics aren’t worth it if I’m not competing in men’s singles. So feel free to do your best or whatever, but this isn’t what I signed up for.” The brow haired boy says crudely. Your coach’s smile visibly faints and you direct your eyes at him, ready to blow a fuse. “It’s not what I signed up for either. My dream was in the Ladie’s singles, but that’s not possible. The thing is, when I was handed another opportunity, I took it. Because to you, I’m only twelve and ‘still a kid’, but in the meantime, I don’t take things for granted, and work hard, no matter the conditions. Maybe you should try that some time. It shouldn’t be too hard, since you’re supposedly two years older than me.” You feel your partner’s eyes narrowing at you in embarrassment, but before he gets to get anything more than a small ‘smartass’, your coach intervenes.

“(Y/n), it’s fine. You both have done enough for today. I’m sure this all comes from pent up frustration, the bad blood will disolve quickly enough.”

Oh, if only she knew.

-

Ticked off, you hit the ice with your fist, and get back on your feet. You grit your teeth, and mumble a “Mind your business”, to which he answers with a scoff. You turn your head to face your coach with a disgruntled expression, in a desperate attempt to get Oikawa to keep his mouth shut, but she only shrugs and you brace yourself for the worst. If you could mostly handle Tooru’s remarks (keyword: mostly), the coach’s were different. She closes her eyes, and you can hear her voice echoing throughout the rink, “Look, you guys are young. Not too long ago, you both were competing for junior competitions. But this,” she points towards the countless medals and trophies you two had won over the years in the glass shelf, “Is over. You are about to head to Beijing to compete against athletes who are just as good, if not much better, than you. You cannot keep this up. The bantering off the ice is slowly transposing itself onto your chemistry while performing. Keep it up and the judges will notice this, and you’ll come back home without any medal at all. The basis of pair figure skating is the chemistry. If you lose it, you lose everything else. ” Her scolding ends, and you clench your fists. You hate that she has to say this. You hate that even your coach is willing to admit that you both aren’t doing enough to stand a chance. You hate that you know she’s right. You hate that you know Oikawa is right. At the very least, had you fallen while attempting a 4A, you would still be viewed as respectable by the public, and by the judges. But you hadn’t, and instead, the people around you would start despising you.

This isn’t fair, you think, I’ve worked harder than anyone else to be here! Your cheeks redden, and you can feel your eyes getting watery. “Stop crying, we gotta get back to the routine.” You notice that Oikawa’s tone has lost some of it’s initial glee, and you’re reassured to know you’re not the only one that has been affected by your coach’s harsh words. Oikawa skates back to the middle of the rink, waiting for you to finish sniffling like a child who has had her lollipop taken away from her.

The noise of a locker being harshly closed fills the empty changing rooms and makes you flinch. The rest of the training session did not go as smoothly as planned, even after your coach’s complaints. A sigh escapes your lips. While he could still blame everyone else for all the mishaps on the ice, you couldn’t. You only had yourself. Never had you been this discouraged, and ready to give up. Worst of all, you cannot seem to quell your inner turmoil, because everything you do seems to give it right, and feeds it, until you can’t control it anymore. You want to disappear. Sure, you’ve never gotten along with your partner, but you’d never go as far as ruin his dreams along with yours, even after what he said a few years back. A tired voice pulls you from your intrusive thoughts. “Get up, loser. I need to close the changing rooms tonight, and I want to go home,” as if the first sentence wasn’t already enough, he adds, “And I’d be damned if you were the one to keep me here longer than I have to.” Nevermind. Maybe you would be fine tearing his dreams apart after all. “Coming.” You mumble. You don’t have the energy to banter anymore today.

As you two leave the rink, an unexpected question leaves Oikawa’s mouth. “What’s up with you today ?” You don’t miss the slight edge to his voice, but answer regardless. “I don’t know-” “You don’t know?” He angrily interrupts you, “Your little problems might cause us to not even get close to the podium at the Olympics but you don’t know?” His anger is legitimate. You can’t just not know when the stakes are this high. It’s ridiculous. You know you’re in the wrong, but you get defensive either way. “I’m sorry, since when were you even rometely interested in going to Olympics ? Last time I checked, you were doing minimal effort because ‘your dream was in the men’s singles’. I’ve been working my ass off since we met. So don’t you start bitching. I worked so fucking hard, and despite it all, you were always behind me, waiting to fuck it all up. You couldn’t even count on your fingers how many problems I have to deal with- “

“Yeah, okay. Just get this fixed before the Olympics.” With that, he just walks away, and you can’t help the sobs that are bubbling up your throat. You want to scream. You’re gripping the straps of your bag so hard you might leave a permanent imprint on your fingers. And in this very moment, you’re considering letting your anger take you over. But, you know better. It’s for the coach, you try to calm yourself down, for the Olympics.

You hope that tonight will help you rest. Despite all your problems flying around your head, you still had a flight to Beijing to catch tomorrow.

-

You were wrong. If anything, this night brought you even more problems than you already had. You hadn’t been able to close a single eye for the entire time, for if you did, your mind would go wandering to back to your doubts and you would start feeling anxious again. Nothing seemed to calm you down. Not even the silence of the plane, or the cheap laughing backtrack of the movie you were currently watching. “Would you like anything to eat ?” The hostess comes up to you. You consider getting the nice salad for a moment. Knowing eating won’t help can’t stop me from trying, you think, and in a heartbeat, you find yourself ordering one of the salads that had caught your eye on the flimsy menu. Unfortunately for you, your coach passes by at the same time as your meal’s arrival, and while she doesn’t say anything explicitly, the look she shoots you says everything you might need to know. It’s on you. You’re supposed to be on a strict diet, and indulge a strict amount of calories each day, nothing more, nothing less. Just enough to propulse yourself into the air, and just enough to keep gliding on the ice at a good speed. Just as you reflect on your bad eating habits, the coach comes back, just as you feared.

“I know you’re stressed.” She starts, it’s a dead giveaway of the theme of the conversation you’re about to have, which makes you audibly sigh, “But you’re a skater. You signed up for it. The least you could do is have the strength to go through it, both physically and mentally. You’re no different than all the people that you are competing against. You’ve got the same skills, the same elements to work with.” Your chest tightens, and you look away. Your coach resumes nevertheless, “But you two have something special, something that only a very limited number of skaters still possess at your level.” She points to you, “this something, is passion. And, yes, Oikawa does have it. Even if he yearns for a spot in he men’s singles, he still has passion for what he’s doing right now, even if you don’t see it. Your competitors could only dream of having that. You want to skate, they have to. There’s a big difference. The only thing is, to showcase your passion to the best of your ability, you have to make amends with Oikawa,” You open your mouth in protest, before your coach speaks up again, “this isn’t an option. It’s necessary. If you want to win the Olympics, that is. You can start right now by the way, I believe he’s in the cabin right next to yours.” With that, she walks away, leaving you speechless. After yesterday’s fiasco, the last thing you want to do is talk to him. But this isn’t about doing what you want, but about what you have to do, you think, and open your cabin door, alright. Good luck to me.

You move, and knock on Oikawa’s cabin’s door. “Yeah ?” A horse voice answers to the dry knocking, and it’s deepness makes your whole body tingle. “I- um. It’s me.” The door slides open, and if his voice has gotten such a reaction out of you, his slightly messy hair and jogging attire almost has you blushing, just the way it did 7 years ago, on your very first lift.

“So ?” Your partner urges you to speak up, and only then do you realize you’ve been standing in front of him, completely silent. You end up babbling a mess of words, and take a deep breath as to start anew. “I know we started off on the wrong foot. To be very honest, it’s kind of your fault, but I forgive you. Yesterday was especially bad, even though I’m pretty sure I was right, and you were wrong. However, I come in peace. For this reason, I have decided to be the mature person I am, and graciously overlook your past mistakes. Are we good now? ” The handsome male eyes your hand you stuck out for him to shake, and you two find yourselves wrapped in a parochial silence. “That’s not how apologizing works” You bite your tongue in order not to give into his taunting, and respond, “About that, I thought things through a little before coming here, and I believe I have nothing to apologize for. Thus, I decided to give you a chance to apologize instead. You’re welcome, by the way. ”

He gapes at you, and quickly regains his composure., “That’s funny, because I happen to think you actually do have stuff to apologize for.”

“And what would that be exactly ?”

“Being bitchy.”

You scoff, and cross your arms, “Me? I was only being bitchy because you were being an asshole.”

“Excuse me?”

“You’re excused.” Oikawa rolls his eyes, and is about to continue, when a man from the cabin next door groans. “Will you kids just keep it down? Some of us are too tired for your little lovers’ quarrel.”

At the mention of you and Oikawa being lovers, you both physically tense up, until the bickering starts again. “Look, I just wish you’d apologize!” You whisper-scream. “Apologize for what?” He insists, and you can’t believe your ears. “Are you serious ? Maybe apologizing for what you said when we first met? For not putting any effort in the skating just because it isn’t what you intended to do?” This time, it’s his turn to not believe his ears. “You want me to apologise for something that happened 7 seven years ago?” “That, and the no-effort thing.” “Oh so you really are serious.”

Be the bigger person. You take a deep breath, trying to focus on what to do in order to get Oikawa and you to make peace. Obviously, your partner is not able to see further than his own nose in this situation. So, it is up to you to make him understand that the stakes are too high for the both of you to simply go back and forth like children at around 35 thousand feet up in the air.

“Look. You’ve said it before, we can’t risk not being on the podium at the Olympics. What I’m trying to do, is restore our relationship, have good chemistry during the games, and win. After that, you can do whatever you want. I frankly don’t care if this isn’t your dream, it’s mine. I need to win. Just this once.” You plead.

This is humiliating. You’ve hit an all-time low. But it needed to be done. And by the look on his face, you can already tell this top 1 of your most embarrassing moments have not been in vain.

“Okay. Fine. I don’t promise anything but, ” he enters a fit of coughing, and tries his best to maintain his composure, “I’m sorry. What I said yesterday was kind of in the heat of the moment, I guess. But, sure. Winning. Totally.”

You open your mouth to thank him, but he pushes you out, and closes the door. Once again, you’re left frothing at the mouth. Maybe it was a sign not to thank him after all.

-

Oikawa has always hated the sound of skates rattling against the ice. But for some reason, he’s still standing on the rink, performing. He doesn’t know why. It’s the same with his relationship with you. You both hate each other, but you still skate together. It’s not out of a lack of opportunities; he was very coveted, and so were you. He couldn’t possibly count on his fingers the number of times you could’ve parted ways, and yet, here you both are, about to compete in the Olympic games. You’ve only got few days left to train and perfect the programm, but Oikawa still finds himself staring up at the windows of the rink. It was night, but he couldn’t spot any stars or the moon. Still, the sky was faintly light. He’d have to head to bed soon. “Done daydreaming ?” A voice calls out. It’s you. You were always pretty, but the faint glow around you due to the night sky makes you even prettier. Such a shame your beautiful face had to be paired up with such a horrid personality, he thinks.

“I’m talking to you.” You speak up, again.

“I can hear you.” Oikawa narrows his eyes at you.

“So you’re just ignoring me.”

“Correct.”

“Awesome. I thought we were getting somewhere.” You shoot him a look. Oikawa scoffs. He’s glad the dark manages to cover the expression he’s sporting, because you’d never let go of it. Oikawa flustered? What a scoop! “Getting where? We’re not a couple, much less friends.” If the night sky manages to cover him, it doesn’t do it for you. He wishes it did, because the saddened smile you’re wearing makes his stomach twist. He wants to take back the words he said. Over his lifetime, he’d take back practically half what he’s said if he could.

If only his pride could let him.

-

Thundersnows are, according to scientists, a rare occurrence. However they seemed common enough for you to have to live through one. It’s funny, in a twisted way. On one hand, you love snow, but on the other, you are absolutely terrified of thunders. Your first thought is to go see your coach. Around 5 years ago, while you were in a training camp, there had been one of the loudest storms you had ever had the horror of living. You had ran towards your coach’s room, begging her to stay with you. The thought still makes you smile, as a reminder of your friendship with her. You open your fist to reveal a white pearl, hanging from black thread, a token from your friendship. She had gifted it to both you and Oikawa after your very first gold medal.

A heavy knock on the door interrupts your soft moment, and soon enough, it creaks open, revealing a brown-haired figure skater, clad in loose fitting jeans, and a shirt.

“To what do I owe the pleasure? Thought we ‘weren’t even friends’? What happened to that?” You don’t even bother looking up at him.

“Don’t flatter yourself. Coach said you were scared of thunders. She can’t help you out right now, she’s stuck in traffic with Ukai, so she sent me instead.” He runs his hand through his hair, and sits down on your bed. “Ukai, huh ?” You hum, “Always knew there was something going on between them.” You make yourself comfortable, and lie down on your bed. Feeling generous, you invite Oikawa to do the same. “Since when are civil ?” He quirks an eyebrow, and you shrug, “Ever since I was too tired not to be.” He doesn’t question your odd change of behaviour any further, and a leans back on the bed headboard.

“Do you think Ukai and coach have already fucked?” He asks, suddenly turning towards you. “Don’t be crude.” You respond.

“Is that a yes ?” His last question gets a chuckle out of you, and you realise that you completely forgot about the storm ever since he got here. “Maybe.” “Maybe !?” He props himself up on his shoulders, “Are you kidding ? They totally have! Have you seen the way they look at each other ? Man. Disgusting.“

“I find them cute. It’s love.”

“You’re disgusting too”

“Says the guy who wore skates two sizes too small during a comp. Who the hell does that ?”

“Who the hell falls on a toe loop ?” Oikawa retorts.

You snort, “That was low.”

“Your world standing is low.”

“My world standing is also your world standing.” You look back at him, and you find him staring at you. “I’m gonna hit you with the pillow.” You don’t get to say what you were planning to say anyway, because a pillow is hurled at your face.

You take it off, and wholeheartedly laugh. “You’re not half as bad as I made you out to be.” Oikawa observes. “Well, you would’ve known earlier if you hadn’t been such an asshole since day one”.

“Oh, so now it’s my fault?” He retorts, “if my memory serves me right, you were being quite the asshole as well.”

“Excuse me?” Your mouth falls open.

“Sometimes I even wonder how you spoke like that. Weren’t you like, twelve?”

“I’m just well-spoken.” You prop your chin up. It was true. Your parents had always pressured you. Etiquette lessons, piano lessons, countless extracurricular activities. No wonder you managed to seem like a smartass to Oikawa.

“Sure.”

Silence makes its way in the room, none of you daring to disturb it, until a question makes an appearance at the back of your mind. So close.

“Why do you not do any effort in our routines?”

“Me?” Oikawa stares back at you with a dazed look, “Given everything we’ve won, you’d think the opposite, no?”

“I’ve asked you about this before, but you’d just ignore me. I want you to be honest with me. I mean effort as in, something more than what’s expected of you, stimulated by the happiness that skating brings you. You don’t do that. And I’m just tired of doing everything in my power in order to balance your lack of passion out.”

“Then don’t.” His simple answer makes you scoff.

“And lose all my chances at the games? No way. This is my dream. I’ve never wished for anything more than this.”

“Then why didn’t you switch partners?”

He’s right. Why didn’t you ? You don’t look at him in the eye, you wouldn’t dare to. Because you know the answer, but never in a million years would you ever willingly face it. Not in the kind of environment you’re in right now, you can’t take it or risk it. Besides, you’ve feigned feeling nothing but resentment towards him in the past few years. What kind of delusional would you be if you even thought of him possibly liking you back ?

“I.. I don’t know. Why haven’t you ?” Counter a question by a question. Great thinking. If only his question wasn’t as frustrating as his answer.

“Because I don’t know what I’d do without you. You said it yourself, your determination is essential to our performances. It makes up for whatever I don’t have. We balance each other out. And admit it, our little ‘lovers quarrels’ mean too much for you to ever let them go, don’t they ?”

The proximity and the subtle flirting make your chest feel warm, even though you know it shouldn’t. You can’t let these type of doubts eat you from the inside, but you can’t help it. You just know realize that you desperately need to keep yourself in check to have a chance to step on the podium.

“You’re too tired. Did you consume anything before coming here ?” You wave him off, in a brief attempt to cover your embarrassment.

“Love.” He grins.

-

The peace between you and Oikawa seemed to have only been an interwar period, because it only took a few hours for the animosity to come back.

A conversation you weren’t even supposed to hear. That’s all it took for your heart that was beating like crazy a few moments prior to shatter, once again, just the way it did over the years with Oikawa.

“Are you sure you want to leave the team, Oikawa ?” A feminine voice speaks up. The coach, you think.

“Yeah. I can’t do it anymore, this is just a lack of professionalism at this point.” Another one speaks. It’s a man this time. Oikawa, you realize.

“You do realize you could just talk this out, right? Consider it, at least, tons of athletes have dealt with this, you know.”

“It’s.. it’s not for me I’m doing this. Sorry.”

You don’t even bother listening to the rest of the conversation. You hadn’t even taken your own warning into account, and here you were, in the cafeteria, carelessly moving your food around, without plans to actually eat any of it.

The doors from the training centre close behind you and Oikawa, and he speaks up, “So? What’s gotten your panties in a twist ?”

“Nothing is wrong! Why do you care anyway? This has nothing to do with you!” You immediately blow up, and swear you could gouge his eyes out. One second you two find yourselves flirting, the next he wants to leave the team, and for the grand finale, Oikawa suddenly cares about your mental state. You tend to find it rather funny, since his antics make up around half of the reasons for your deteriorating mental state. On the other hand, you’ve had just about enough of him stringing you along and acting as if nothing’s wrong.

“First, you have got to calm down, holy shit. Second, I care because you’re my partner, and because we’re about to compete! Tomorrow!” He seethes.

You can’t help but laugh at his lousy excuse, “I call bullshit. You’re a horrible liar. You don’t care about the Olympics, much less about me. Stop fucking around, tell me the truth.”

“You know what? Fine! I give up! I don’t care about you, and I certainly dont care about the games. Good luck winning this alone. Knew I shouldn’t have listened to the coach.” He mutters, and almost walks away, until you grab him by the elbow. He makes a move to get rid of you, but you stand your ground.

“That’s why you asked me how I was doing? Because of the coach?” You look up at him. Anger is evident in your face.

“I thought you didn’t care? Make up your goddamn mind, (y/n)! Also, that’s not what I was even talking about. Stop assuming all the time!”

For the first time since this argument started, you’re at a loss of words. You couldn’t tell him you did care, you couldn’t tell him how betrayed you felt, you couldn’t tell how you felt at all.

“So what were you talking about then? Felt bad cause you’re leaving and wasn’t planning on telling me shit?”

“Where did you hear that from ?” You can see his face get hard, and you instantly regret what you said earlier. You’ve never seen him in such a serious state. “Nowhere. Forget it.” You try to wave him off and get on your way, but he doesn’t let you. You’ve definitely struck a nerve.

“No, I won’t forget it. Where did you hear that from? No one was supposed to know about this, especially not you. So, again, where the hell did you get that from?”

“I.. I just heard you and the coach speak about it when I passed your room in the hallway on the way to the cafeteria.” However, his outburst doesn’t stop you from getting defensive as well.

“So, are you happy? Stringing me along making me think we were finally doing well, and then just leave? Got want you wanted all along, right? How much of an asshole exactly are you? And don’t you dare tell me I’m the asshole, because that’s not true and you know it. You told me we were going to stick together, and then you just go, and you- you just..” you can’t help the sobs. You feel so incredibly stupid for letting your emotions take you over, and letting Oikawa know how much he hurt you. How much power he holds over you. Now there’s definitely no chance for him to genuinely try tomorrow, or even win. He’ll be too busy despising and avoiding you.

“Look at me. Come on, look at me.” The brown haired boy looks down at you, craddling your face with his hands.

“Cut the bullshit,” you sob, “I’m not falling for it anymore.” You tear his hands off your face.

“I’m not bullshitting you. I swear, god, I am not leaving the team, I did not mean to string you along, and I don’t hate you. At least not anymore.”

“So you did hate me!”

“So did you!”

“No I didn’t! You are such a moron, I can’t believe you. I like you. When I was twelve, when we first met, you remember the bad lift we did? Do you remember the way I looked at you back then? You thought treating me like shit was gonna be all it took for the feelings to magically disappear?”

“I can’t believe you’re calling me a moron when you’re truly not any better.” He says, and carefully cradles your face again. “Because I liked you, too.”

“You suck.”

He grins, and leans in. This time, you don’t fight him. You invite him in, and when he finally locks lips with yours, the fireworks are blowing up in your stomach. You throw your arms around his neck in an attempt to draw him close than you both already are, and his hands make their merry way to your waist. You could stay like this forever. Your brain goes haywire, and when Oikawa slightly pulls away, you can’t help but feel disappointed that it’s already over.

“Don’t worry, they’ll be many more to come,” Oikawa chuckles, in response to your obvious insatisfaction.

“I’m still mad at you for being an asshole for so long just because you were too pussy to tell me you liked me.” You point at his chest.

“Sorry, couldn’t resist the possibility of an ennemies to lovers with you.”

-

“Second place, (Country name), Oikawa Toorū and (y/n) (l/n)!”

Second place. It’s not what you wanted. You should feel sad and disappointed, but you’re not.

“I’m sorry we couldn’t win first place.” Oikawa murmurs. You let your foreheads touch, and whisper in reply, “I don’t mind. There’s always next time. Besides, even if I didn’t get first place, I got something else that I like way better.” Before your lips get to touch, however, a camera flash goes off, blinding the both of you, and you hear a few teenage girls in the bleachers whine.

“He’s taken now?” One of the girls indiscreetly whispers, and another one responds, with the same obvious disappointed tone, “I guess..”

You can’t find it in yourself to care. Looks like winning isn’t just about first place after all, because even if you haven’t won, you still feel more victorious than you ever have before.

©234423zip ALL RIGHTS RESERVED do not copy modify or translate my work/theme

[valend]

[gametastic-photography]

A morning wash and an afternoon read.

[triglycercule]

ok ok you dont need to threaten me here's some art ☹️☹️☹️

appreciate now while you have it because doodles are rare coming from me (only tri-yearly. i cannot doodle for the life of me its hard 🙁)

[mushed-kid]

hi if u saw my drawing (i deleted it)… i genuinely forgot. idk how. i knew my memory is bad but holy shit how the fuck did i forget that. sorry pls dont hate me i didnt mean it

[which-hospital]

gay

[sucrate]

ASHE! ASHE!!!!

MUTUAL VIBE CHECK!!

Have been a time since we talked! I hope you're doing alright and having a good night/day!!

Just came to say 'hi' because you're a very special person to me! you were one of the first person I talked here on tumblr and I will never forget the funny little thing we would send each other. I wish we could go back to talking with one another someday, I really miss you!!

HI OMG HI OMG !!!! FOXY:-) TYSMM RAA ? ? ? I MISS U 2 WTF !!! tysm 4 this omggg im doing sooo well <- KILLED IN THE ACADEMICS . i hope ur doing well too >_< !!!!!

[kuumara]

Mike, come try to get some rest, you can't get anything done like this, she said

He ignores her. Every second he rests, every second that he isn't looking for a way to get Will home, thats another second that Will suffers

He told her that, and somehow, somewhere he started crying and he couldn't stop it, he was just tired and angry and wanted everything to be okay again- wanted everything to be like it was before

This thing, it took Will away from them, from him, time after time no matter what he did. He just wasn't trying hard enough. So now he has to make up for all those times, when Will suffered because he didn't try hard enough

He was scared. What if this isn't enough still? What if he makes a mistake? And then Will- again- suffers?

Maybe he's selfish for being like this. He wants to forgive himself, wants Will to forgive him. He made this all about him, somehow, even though he just wanted to make things right. Right for who? Him again?

You're not selfish, she assures. Even before all this, you still helped him. Not with such stuff like this, of course. Were you selfish even back then? Like when you two were six, and you helped him to swing really high?

He stops crying, and wipes his tears. Crying is useless. He puts on his coat, takes a gun and a knife, and heads to the portal

[actualnymph]

my moms talking abt kicking me out (again) 🤪 great

[basil-kat]

Sneak peak at a thing I’m working on :3

[incredible-sugar-venus]

meet the artist thing

[porcelainvino]

britney/brittany episode is so FUNNYEHSJDJRJ

[chiistarri]

its only cool to leave ppl on sent for an hour when.i do it

[walterdecourceys]

goodnight...

[dwtdog]

people outside my dorm window r angry tonight….. our team lost it’s okay i understand them 😔

[kaoharu]

screams in agony. i forgot to bring the gauze i took out kf the medkit am i stupid