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I want something more in life but there doesn't seem hope.

Via- Pinterest

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I wanna be glam, wanna be aesthetic..

But I'm too bland and entirely pathetic

* sings in 7 rings tune*

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I feel like people are trying too hard to make their daily routine into aesthetics...or maybe I'm just jealous that there is nothing remarkable about me anymore

P. S - how is everyone holding up admist this pandemic... It's a hard time and I think sharing would make everyone feel better.

Prayers and love to all.

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As for him , he made me laugh when I was at my lowest, make me feel weightless when I was crushing under the weight of holding back my tears and relentless panic attacks. I'm human with feelings, I had grown attached. He brought emotions back into my life like a Tsunami. I thought I was in incapable feeling, he proved me wrong. I giggled at his words, laughed at his shenanigans; surprised at how much he cared when he wanted to. When he wanted to.

Alas he was after another and Lord was she a stupid bitch. I play my fight song when I cry over him, what a wasted potential. I felt ignored, dustedoff and took me months to realise I don't deserve that. I do not. I will heal my broken heart, respect those who have my back and be a bad bitch in general. Wouldn't that be great.

He taught me a lesson, I just don't need a person who can make me laugh when I cry I need someone who will tell me it's OK to cry and can accompany me to make the pain go away. Someone who will understand where my thoughts and securities lie, calm me down when I'm scared. He couldn't do that and as Katy Perry once said... " I fell in deep, you let me drown but that was then and this is now.... "

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I have been searching for flaws within myself; justify why people are made 6 months ago will be interested in me. I need to see that I may be imperfect, flawed even, that isn't excuse for people treating me like secondary. I can't give someone the status of my priority when I'm not their's.

There are people who care about me, care when I starve,care when I cry , care when I laugh, care when I scream, become sad when I'm sad if they can't cheer me up after ask if I'm okay. When it's hard to breathe they help me. Tell me I deserve so much more, that I don't deserve to cry till I am wailing mess.

I have been blaming my demons for the relationships that burned around me, but those who left me didn't understand me either,didn't accept me. People cry, people fuss over their fake fears and emotions people can be so disappointing but it's for me to learn from where I fall.

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It's been so long since I felt normal. 2 years of numbness is taking its toll on me. I'm anxious,I'm sad, I feel caged like someone's clawing my heart from inside out. I have issues. Issues that I've been brushing under the carpet and now the carpet is tearing apart, spilling all the soot of unresolved resentment . It's quite simple to understand really, people disappoint, but you can't live alone. I can't. People I love the most make me cry. My anxiety had brought back my feelings, reduced the numbness. But I don't want to feel like this, I don't want to live like this. I want a new beginning. I want a support system or a person close to me. Maybe that's what I'm missing. Maybe it will solve my problems. But I can't get it either. I allowed myself to feel and I'm hurting now. They told me writing my feelings out would help me. Here is the only place no one knows me.......i hope I will get better though.

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Self care? Yes! Take your time, demand space from people, be confident and comfortable, don't be angelically nice when you're taken for granted, enjoy your own company and SLAY

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Rant. You can skip it

Needed to vent. Scroll down if y'all want.

Has it like ever happened to anyone that when almost everything in your life is a fuck up, that you know you've lost part of yourself and you don't know why or how to get it back, almost everyone you love somehow managed to disappoint you , lifelong friendships end because they just found someone new , that you've had a big change in your life and THAT ONE PERSON YOU LIKE TALKING TO just stops...maybe because you pushed them away. All of this makes me feel like I'm the toxic one the one who's the reason for how miserable I am and IDK what else to except just be sad and shut down

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Everything is falling apart but I don't feel anything.

Then I scare cause I don't feel anything

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Any "holosexuals" here?

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I JUST FOUND UR ACCOUNT AND-----YE S YES YES YES I LOVE THE GLITTER !!!!!! THERE ISNT ENOUGH GLITTER. God bless u, friend!!!!! 💜💜💜 thank u for bringing a little more happiness to me :)

Oh my gosh it's such a rad feeling when you're appreciated...I'm so glad you like my page makes me want to work on it harder

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would you like to do follow for follow to support each other? ❤️

Sure... Done

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Take me to the glitter town where the humans sweat glitter

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I hide my rainbows behind my pitch black

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Which is better - cold or warmth?

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Delicate but trouble