#because i am Bad at keeping up with others' stuff when im not involved (SORRY) and i am Bad at talking to people

[gemharvest]

Ignore that I'm still awake the allure of reading old messages got me Badly. Anyways I keep thinking about how sick a server for RGBFverse participants would be. And by that I mean, Is anyone interested in that. Because I like making Discord servers I will do it if more people are into the idea.

[ipatrichor]

dead boy detectives episode three thoughts

NIKO MY GIRL NIKO. i love her so much holy shit. she's just so effortlessly charming and so deeply, sincerely kind 😭 i would kill for her good lord the scene after they leave the devlin house? she was so scared for completely understandable reasons (i would not want to go to a house with an axe murderer ghost either, and she almost just died like the day before on top of that!) but she suits up and braves a Goddamn Coastal Storm (seriously, it was dark when she left and light when she found them meaning she was out there alone in the dark storm for a little while Minimum) to help her friends!! it's like. yeah she's pretty naive and easily scared (again, Reasonably so), but also she cares so goddamn much about her friends. im gonna cry dude

also this episode really is giving me everything i asked for huh. i asked for niko joining the gang and changing their dynamics, and we got that incredibly sweet scene with edwin at the library. i asked for the bickering to stay while dynamics grow and evolve, and edwin & crystal have a scene where they still snipe at each other while working well together to rescue charles and appreciating each other's skills and knowledge. i asked for charles backstory, and holy shit. this show really does have it all huh

okay speaking of charles. i love love love what we got this episode. i mean yeah i kinda guessed his dad wasn't great from what he'd said before, but i was also second-guessing myself a little because well, if he was that bad charles probably wouldn't be checking on him to make sure he's okay, right? and then we get that reveal, and damn. god it was so cool to see something actually really hit charles, because he's mostly a chill guy! sure, he's gotten annoyed and stuff, but it never seems to last long and i've been really looking forward to seeing what'll break that composure. this episode did not disappoint holy shit

speaking of which. idk if it was just the dad's abuse that was affecting him so much... this is an odd theory, but hear me out. it's making me kind of wonder if the reason he was so deeply affected was because his dad was involved with his death somehow. iirc his cause of death was drowning or something? hypothermia maybe i do not remember but i remember something about injuries like broken ribs or something. and i dunno i'm starting to wonder if those injuries were from his dad and they contributed to his death. or maybe im completely wrong and it hit him so hard to see a man kill his wife and daughters because he's spent the decades since his death afraid his dad will do that to his mom! who knows! only time will tell, but i am so intrigued

also i actually really love that him repressing so much doesn't get resolved. like yes girl keep deflecting from your trauma until you get overwhelmed and have a messy breakdown where everything explodes. and like yeah his friends know he's keeping shit to himself now, but that's. really not something it's easy to bring up so really the most they can do is let him know they're there for him and keep an eye out. which is probably harder to do with So Many Goddamn Enemies.

like okay let's count we've got esther + monty, crystal's demon ex, death's scottish secretary (idk her name or job sorry. the lady who played the witch mom on supernatural. rowena??? girl idk i didn't finish s5), the cat king (not necessarily evil but he is literally keeping them trapped so), miscellaneous enemies/villains each episode like the sprites or the misery wraith (terrifying btw! i Do Not like that thing on a personal level but i appreciate it thematically 👍), and ALSO Literal Death is basically looming over them as an existential and also very literal threat. girl this is crazy there is So Much going on how the fuck is this show only 8 episodes

crystal's memories... i actually really like that she might've been an asshole. like yeah you could argue her ex was influencing her (either supernaturally or just like peer pressure) but i actually think it's more interesting if he wasn't and she was just willing to be an asshole. and also maybe endanger people's lives?? idk what was up with dropping a large rock on moving cars but it didn't seem like anyone died bc he would for sure have leveraged that against her so. but i just think it's more interesting and compelling if she has to deal with like... yeah she was an asshole. what now? she can't change it, she's just got to live with it and choose to do better

also back to charles bc that scene will not stay out of my head. his actor is so good... the subtle emotional nuance in his facial expressions... i may need to rewatch the episode everything about his acting is so good. also charles getting stuck in the loop was fucking chilling- i didn't expect hitting the dad to work really, I thought it'd do nothing or go through him, but when he caught the cricket bat and hit charles with the axe i actually gasped. and then just sitting there unmoving and unseeing until the loop restarts and he vanishes... girl that was terrifying. like would they kill off charles like that? no I don't believe so, not in episode 3 of 8. however it was genuinely scary i didn't know if something fucked up would happen that he'd need a while to recover from or something. im glad he's okay physically at least, even if mentally is debatable :')

monty... what do i say about monty. he's cute and so awkwardly charming- if we hadn't seen that he's esther's familiar i would've been rooting for him to be a side character who shows up every now and then, kinda like jenny y'know? but because we know he's part of her revenge, i'm spending his scenes side-eyeing him like hey. the hell is that about. however i will say it's better knowing so we can stress about what his plan is instead of having him introduced as just a guy and then being a traitor or something. idk i like the dread and suspicion! it's a quality writing choice

i will say though, there's one thing about him that's making me side-eye him even harder. why did he antagonize charles? if he's trying to ingratiate himself with the boys + crystal and earn their trust, being a dick to one of them won't help. does esther's plan rely on isolating edwin? why? and if it's not her plan, why is he singling out edwin specifically? idk many questions lots to consider!!

in conclusion, this is such a good show and each episode just keeps getting better. i'm jumping right into episode four, i just wanted to organize my thoughts here first haha

[hellwurld]

sorry bestie but i need more challengers au. im dying. the dynamics, the crazy, itrs insane. lando why? is anybody gonna do anything???? wil the groupchat ever notice????? you leave me in suspense each time and its beautiful. thank you for posting and thank the government for thanksgiving vacation

never apologize for wanting more challengers au. i also want more but unfortunately (or very fortunately) i am the writer, so if i want more i have to actually write it lmfao! i'm glad that you're loving the fic so far, and if u have any requests of specific stuff u want to see, i'd be happy to post some snippets/side-stories here on tumblr!!! i always want to include MORE in the fic, but the last chapter was already 15k words, so i don't want to overwhelm lmfao. sorry for the suspense btw! i have a tendency to leave on cliffhangers and questions, but with an upload schedule like mine (read: a bad upload schedule), it's not rlly the best for a reader lol!

ALSO ! okay so while i know these questions are likely rhetorical, im gonna answer them anyway! so um, answers and other fun context below:

why is lando the way he is? he wants a job! unfortunately, formula 1 is a cutthoat space, and lando is worried about causing internal drama. he's a little insecure in his place on the team, specifically after hungary, so he doesn't want to start shit with oscar. he's ignoring logan purely because he will feel too guilty to not do something if he actually watches the video and pays attention, so he's choosing to ignore him so he won't have to confront the situation! sad! basically, lando feels bad for logan, but he doesn't want to get involved in something that has so much history and mess attached, because he doesn't want to risk hurting the situation, and himself, more. a crucial part of this fic to me is the theme of selfishness and personal benefit vs the betterment of the whole, and formula 1 drivers need to be selfish, which lando is, for better or for worse.

it depends what you mean by do anything. you can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped. the ptsd group chat just tries to support logan as much as they can, but logan isn't looking to leave oscar, and they can't just kidnap a grown man so... they're a bit stuck. stuff will happen tho, i promise!

the larger f1 groupchat will notice! soon! i promise!!! they're wrapped up in their own stuff, and the people that do have an inkling of what's going on are keeping their mouths shut, but something is bound to break. it's all just a matter of when.

[osarina]

I didn't want to comment my reply again on the civilian dazai fic but OMG FYO IT WAS REALLY GOOD

I will say it deffo felt much light hearted and had a friday fellthan waterloo and even wykyk but I think that's cause the ✨️drama✨️ btwn them hadn't started yet and also the fact that I know they aren't doomed by the narrative (you) this time 💀

But I am liking the way it is going it already has me hooked and I am so very excited 😊 and God damn I LOVE love the reader so much. She's much more badass and ahhhh dazai is so cute and pathetic I lub him <3

Also fun fact after my 3 hour exam and after 2 sleepless nights, I did the exam well and came rushing home and held myself to read this awesomeness before sleeping for like 8 hours straight. When I woke up I read it again not in a sleepy haze to get the full experience XD that's how much I love your quality top notch fics

I think the reader's ability is a great and beautiful choice. It's not overpowering to change the plot or invite plot holes but powerful enough to impact everyday life. It really keeps me asking if the reader is using her ability on a certain situation or not and I really love that feature.

Anyways hope your life is going well 😊 and dont forget to eat healthily

P.s. : Do you have a fixed schedule to upload wasteland like waterloo or is it not fixed? And sorry for making the asks so long 😅

TUMBLR USER SILVERSNOW2000 HELLO MY LOVE I ADORE YOU, YOU NEVER HAVE TO APOLOGIZE FOR SENDING LONG ASKS I LOVE THEM

AHHHHHH I'M SO GLAD U ENJOYED IT ive had soooooo much fun writing civzai and pmreader. IT'S DEFINITELY MUCH MORE LIGHTHEARTED THAN ANY OF THE OTHER SERIES SO FAR but don't worry the drama starts in the next chapter LOLLLL and it doesn't slow down from there. THEY DON'T DIE THO i feel like i have to say this every time LOLLLLL

YESSSSS PM READER IS SO FUN TO WRITE like she's alwaysssss fun to write but it's particularly fun being able to write her from the viewpoint of dazai as a civilian who isn't like used to seeing her already. like she's very similar in the original universe but dazai has known her for so long there that he's become used to her yk, meanwhile this dazai sees her in a very fresh light if u get what i mean. it's the change in perspective that's so fun to write here

AND OMG IM GLAD - i was so conflicted about how to phrase/what to make her ability because i didn't want to make it too op but at the same time .. she's a port mafia executive, she needs to have a pretty notable ability, and then i was like wait ... her whole thing is politics and negotiations, so obviously it has to be something along the lines of fucking with ppl's minds/brains, but i needed to obviously whittle that down because mind control is just too ridiculous, so i got the idea of her being able to like induce emotions + states onto people BUT they're able to draw themselves out of it if they have the strength for it.

some things are easier to brush off, but other things aren't. like she can put people to sleep with her ability and they can't really drag themselves out of that because now they're sleeping, and inducing fear in particular is pretty hard for people to draw themselves out of because it spirals quickly. but for negotiations and stuff, when she's making them feel as if she's more trustworthy/more susceptible to taking bad terms, she has to be SO careful & calculated with her every word because any small thing could make them double take and jar them out of the induced state.

actually, in civzai universe, it's going to be really interesting because without dazai there to stop chuuya from using corruption, reader and chuuya had to figure out a way to knock him out of it themselves - which they DID and it involves her ability but it's SOOOO dangerous for her so they end up not really using corruption often. this actually comes up in the next chapter

i dont have a set schedule! i'm going to shoot for every other friday max though!

[maskedteaser]

Hi! I love matchups! Can I have a rdr2 matchup? :3 if you would like a matchup too let me know! (It can take me some time tho)

I am pretty social, however I prefer to spend time alone! I care about others a lot… To an unhealthy amount honestly but I'm working on it! I love to help others and make them smile, but I do wish I would get something for being so nice in return, yeah it might sound greedy but I want to be appreciated! And get something nice haha, like just a compliment or something, when my helping and kindness gets unnoticed I might get upset because of how tired I am and I just want to be appreciated like I said before 😭 I wanted to be noticed and not ignored! I care too much about what others feel and think and it's tiring, I just want to be selfish sometimes and care about myself even if it sounds mean. I also love being mentioned/involved in things, it makes me feel liked <3

My humor is definitely not for everyone, it's mostly the humor of a 12 y/o kid which can be annoying to some people lmao (sometimes it's funny how people are annoyed by it) and some other things depending on how I feel. When it comes to annoyance I also like to annoy people <3 it's so fun! But I never want to make them really feel bad! Often I act like an asshole but this is just for jokes! (but sometimes I wanna be a real asshole lmao) Like I said I don't want them to actually feel bad, if I do, I will feel very guilty! When it comes to it I apologize A LOT, I apologize so much that it might too annoying but I always feel a sense of guilt inside of me. I'm also VERY sensitive and worry about everything. Ah and I'm pretty dumb and I am not trying to insult myself I am just silly hehe and I'm okay with that. Oh and Im clumsy 😭😭 I have a low self esteem :((

I LOVE LOVE horror and scary things, I can't imagine my life without it, its just a such interesting genre that makes me happy and intrigued! I adore horror games and I'm mostly interested in them, however most of the time I am scared of playing them so I just watch gameplays and stuff like that haha. You can say I am obssesed with horror! (its funny because its easy to scare me haha)

I love to eat food <3 especially sweet things

I also love cute things! Plushies, pink, lolita clothes and other cute things! I just love it so much <3

I love pathetic men! 😍 I am not the smartest and I find high inteligence hot however I also love goofy guys! They are adorable!

I dislike cooking (I love when someone knows to cook however I suck at it)

When it comes to looks I am a chubby girl :"D chin lenght hair with bangs and glasses, my best friend says I have a "puppy face" ❤️

Ahh sorry if its too much! Have a wonderful day/night!

I was actually not expecting anyone to react in any way and request a matchup, but I am so glad you send your note! Thank you for reaching out! Let's get to it! More under "keep reading" :) [@karusenka - tagging you so you won't miss it!]

before I tell you who I match you up with, let me tell you why I decided not to pick other characters!

❝ yeah it might sound greedy but I want to be appreciated! ❞

DUTCH would probably not put you over his plans and his ambitions. No matter how pretty or nice are you, you would probably always be the second option. That's why - DUTCH IS OUT!

❝ I also love being mentioned/involved in things, it makes me feel liked ❞

I have a strong feeling that JAVIER might be too overprotective of you. He'd be simply scared of loosing you, always keeping an eye on you, not letting you go anywhere out of the camp. I feel like he could just go on missions and never involve you in anything except simple camp chores/activities. That's why - JAVIER IS OUT!

❝ Oh and Im clumsy 😭😭 I have a low self esteem :(( ❞ ❝ I'm also VERY sensitive and worry about everything❞

I kinda think that JOHN would be a really bad match for you. Sometimes the words he say can be really insensitive (I remember the things he said to Abigail when they were arguing in the camp...). I feel like he could hurt you by saying something about your clumsyness and he'd never actually notice that you're mad or WHY you are mad. That's why - JOHN IS OUT!

OKAY, SO NOW THE FINAL RESULT...I MATCH YOU WITH...DUM DUM DUM...

SEAN MACGUIRE

Seems like a great option for you! He might not be the best cook, but I'm sure he'd love to involve you in everything he does! Sean would probably care about you, always thinking about you and taking your opinion into account! You'd never get bored since this young man is full of surprises! You said you loved goofy guys, and if I had to be honest - I don't think there is anyone goofier than him! And your love for pathetic man? I'm pretty sure that he could get desperate for you pretty fast, just show him one of your cute dresses and he is on his knees, baby! I am also pretty sure that he'd love to listen to you talking about horror! He'd probably look it up/read about it (at least try to read about it...) so he could discuss with you about it :) Since he has so many people that he treats like family, he'd always go for advice from them after seeing you sad/mad and he was being unsure of what to do. Always trying his best to comfort you and apologize for any harsh words he possibly said. [He'd go to Arthur and be like "oh Arthur :( I fucked up again...! I love her so bad but I think I said something mean, what should I do now?" with sad eyes and lost puppy face.] He'd probably notice little things you do for him. And if you give him any handmade gift (like bracelet or something) he'd wear it 24/7 :]

Thank you for requesting! Hope you are okay with my matchup...Sorry if i disappointed you because you wished for someone else- signed Teaser 👽

[ataraxixx]

How did roleswap citrus meet each other? 0: also how are some of their conflicts reversed? if this is stuff you can share lol :)

HI ok so im still working out a lot of this au in my brain bc i am kind of bad at aus so sorry if some of this seems kind of bad or makes no sense….. This is also gonna be a long one and answer a lot more than just ur question so sorry. But i need to infodump it somewhere </3 ill put it under a break bc this is a LONG One sorry

So for morro ive talked abt how i think hes a robot who was built to fulfill the green ninja prophecy and his is his sole purpose/directive. To defeat the dark lord. Kind of how zane/echo are ‘built to protect’ and live by that (or try to lol). So morro is created a long time before the ninja come together and he seeks out wu in order to figure out how to get to Garmadon. Because his purpose is to defeat garmadon. And wu is like.(who the fuck is this guy) and basically takes him in under the impression that. Maybe he could actually be the green ninja? And even though wu realizes its  definitely not morro he does keep trying to train him bc he doesnt want morro to go off on his own to try and find garmadon. But eventually he has to come clean and morro is annoyed bc he thinks wu has put everyone in danger by stalling the prophecy (he obviously doesnt believe it when wu tells him hes not the green ninja because he *is*!) and he tries to leave as wu predicted, but wu doesnt let him and instead shuts him off for his own protection. Morro gets to live in the monastery basement for awhile and wu always thinks abt powering him back on but doesnt bc hes like. This guy is going to try and do stupid shit (hes right). So he just stays in the basement until obv the ninja arrive and the shows events happen as normal but the monastery gets burned down and in the rush to get out and the move to the bounty, wu forgets abt morro being there… and when he does remember hes there, he ultimately decides its probably for the best if he isnt powered on again bc there IS a green ninja now and he doesnt know what morro would do if he met lloyd. And doesnt want lloyd to get hurt. So cue skybound when nya and jay are on the run from nadakhan, instead of going to the lighthouse they instead go to the ruins of the monastery because jay remembers wu had this cryptic ass basement he would never let the ninja go into, and jay thinks maybe theres some kind of crazy secret weapon in there or something that can stop nadakhan. Instead they find morro, and they power him on. And hes like. Oh! Youre the other ninja from the prophecy. and agrees to help them although hes a little confused on whats going on bc hes like shouldnt we be fighting garmadon… but he joins the substitute ninja in the fight against nadakhan. 

Echo was Dr. Julien’s original son who was alive and like. A #real boy. I think maybe dr. julien wife(??) died in childbirth and echo was born very sickly so dr. julien sought out a magical way to heal him. I think this is probably how he got involved with the skeletons in the first place bc them seeking him out always felt random to me i feel like they should have some history mb. So maybe like samukai or another skeleton was like oh i totally know a spell that will make your son healthy and normal. And dr julien was like . Hm. but kind of desperate so he went with it and of course it  did make his son healthy and normal. Except the price of the spell is that it curses the soul of the person its used on. So echo lived normally with his father for many years until he was outside late collecting firewood one evening and was attacked by treehorns (this was before dr. julien built the guard robot) and A) discovered he had the ability to control the wind which was cool. Except he didnt know how to use it and just kind of fucked up badly and got lost in the woods while trying to run from the treehorns. And B) was still injured in the fight and now Also Lost and basically died trying to get home from both injuries + hypothermia. Rip bozo!. And of course dr. julien was devastated and like pinocchio-core i guess decided to build a new son and that is the  Current Zane. he is a copy but he was never told about that of course bc dr julien didnt want to think abt the son he lost. But yea echos soul was cursed and he went to the cursed realm which  um. Hardened him so to speak. He learned he was cursed because of his father and it pissed him off a little bit but only mildly. But i think the cursed realm is like hell or whatevr so the ghosts go through bullshit all the time bc like. Theyre the souls of the damned or whatever right. So by time echo manages to get out hes become apart of the pre eminents ranks and her plans and what not and hes like sure  whatever. I want revenge on my dad for cursing me (<-- guy who has gone through the ringer) but he gets out at the end of s4 and discovers. Oh. my dad didnt just curse me. When i died he replaced me with a stupid machine! Ok! And he possesses zane and also does pre eminent plan and etc….average s5 stuff i think. Idk im not the best at rewriting seasons if anyone has any ideas for this let me know.

I think at the end of s5 echo doesnt get his shit rocked because i like him. And i think it would be nice if he could get along with zane a little. So maybe he stays as a ghost and maybe nya or borg or whoever builds him a robot body he can possess and use instead of being a ghost all the time:) and he doesnt necessarily join the team bc hes not . a ninja nor does he want to be but hes still the master of wind so hes a useful ally to the ninja and helps them out with bigger threats. LIKE. the sons of garmadon. Transition…. (PS. i also think that echo and morro would meet in skybound bc echo would also be on the substitute ninja team but this would be undone by jay. Of course)

So. the SoG go to the ruined monastery at some point or other to try and find some dirt on the ninja and also just to find old wu scrolls or whatever they can scrounge up. And What they DO scrounge up is this fuckass robot whos been here for however long bc. Obviously skybound didnt happen! And jay and nya never went back for morro bc they were like. Umm he was weird and also would probably try to kill lloyd if he met him maybe. And also like lets be real they just wanted to ignore this shit ever happened why else would they leave echo in canon lol. So the SoG find Morro and power him on and hes like ummm. Hey. its me. The green ninja. Who are you. And harumis like…??? Are you sane or what. But she sees an opportunity here. Bc this robot solely wants to fight garmadon. And shes like. Ok. well we’re gonna get garmadon here. If you help us you can fight him. This is your destiny. And hes like damn ok sure sounds good to me! (nobody is gonna tell him that the destiny already happened and theres Another Guy who is the green ninja btw). So morro joins the SoG idk what his name should be. Mr. M is fucking stupid sorry. If anyone has any ideas for morro biker name lmk. But hes there or whatever and then when lloyd goes undercover in the SoG and snake jaguar fight a la mutt malamute style. Morro and lloyd fight and morro reveals his identity to lloyd as the green ninja (he thinks hes very cool) and lloyd is like. What. lmfao. And is like. Youre  not the green ninja …? I am…? And they get into a fight abt it and morro beats up lloyd bc hes annoyed at all the lies this guy is saying to him about how his destinys already been fulfilled and wu lied and etc etc. lloyd loses the fight rip bozo. 

I am a wojira duo fan and i think that persists here except  its echo and nya instead so im gonna talk abt that. I think theyre friends. So i think nya would confide in echo about the events of skybound and so i think echo remembers what happened (in my mind skybound is like. Everyone can remember it but they have to be reminded what happened for it to be recalled? Bc splinter implies lloyd and clancee have vague impressions of it in their minds. Idk its interesting). So he remembers morro and when lloyd is like yea some fuckass robot is saying hes the green ninja  jay nya and echo all collectively just kind of look at each other about it. Like thats OUR fuckass robot saying hes the green ninja. And because i am not limited by pacing i can do whatever i want and have jaya tell the team abt skybound finally (things that shouldve happened in s8 originally lol) and theyre all like. Oh. what girl. And jay insists that if they can get to morro and tell him what happened in the lost timeline he will remember it and join them bc hes a good person at heart. (probably). So the next time they encounter him would actually be when pixal finds the SoG in ‘the quiet one’ so i think. Echo and her went together to go stall them since echo can also just fly over w the mech using powers lol. So they find killow morro uv and  echo and morro fight 1v1 . yuri btw. And echo reminds him of what happened and morros like. Hm. I do remember this. But i need to help the SoG so i can defeat garmadon and prove im the green ninja. So fuck off? But i think obv when the  SoG DO revive garmadon morro immediately tries to fight him and gets his ass kicked……I dont think he gets destroyed but i do think he gets fucked up enough (the ninja probably fix him) that he realizes lloyd wasnt lying and that he isnt supposed to be the one to fight garmadon. Like theyve all been saying. Which kind of fucks him up a bit bc like. Thats literally his sole purpose and wtf is he existing for if he cant even do that. Youve given the perfectly good robot anxiety oh no. but also i could probably talk abt this for another like 4 paragraphs i need to put an end here bc this is already like 3 pages on google docs…….Sorry you did not ask for all this. But i needed to explain the context

[elektrischemaidchen]

Oh, guys, I miss Lisztober. I really do. There's so much going on here at the moment and it's much more stressful than writing a song every day. I don't know if anyone here can relate to this, but when you've lived in a bubble for a month... I think I'm simply lacking Franz. I am currently researching Adéle de Laprundarede on Gallica, in case you're wondering how bad it is...

But it's also nice:

-If anyone remembers Lisztober #3: One of my former colleagues, who works at the Beethovenhaus and is very involved in the Beethovenfest, was very happy afterwards. I also apologised to her for the Bonn song ;) But she loves Liszt and can forgive us. Next time I see her, I'll beg her to tell Nike Wagner (former director of the Beethovenfest and greatgreatgrandaughter of Franz) about it when she sees her again. ;) (You see, @franzliszt-official, you may have thought up the topics in one evening, but it's a damn small world. ;))

-Yesterday Lacelove let me know that we have to reshoot a few scenes for Lisztomanie on Friday. Especially the scene with the quill. I look at my arm and swear a little. Unfortunately, our camera has blurred some of the takes, so we have to some takes it again. But without cognac this time, please. (I hate cognac. Sorry, Franz. I only drink red wine. And the occasional Ardbeg ;))) Lacelove is in Berlin beforehand, then joins me in the evening and we have to put in a night shift. That's not to sound arrogant, but we're a bit lost. Actually, other people usually make music videos for us that are far more professional. So, expect more of a home video…but we had fun. We also like to touch each other, as you can see... ;) Even if Lacelove thinks that I've fabricated the ‘Lisztomanie crap and have to keep my face in the camera for it.’

-On Saturday, we're re-shooting the first scenes for Wagner. I cut the first scenes from Bayreuth today. Coppelia won't be available again until January, but we can understand that. We're getting external reinforcements for that ;)

-On 17 November, you can listen to an exclusive track from our new album on the Radio Hazzard of Darkness programme ‘Electronic Dreams’. We don't know which one it will be and that's quite exciting: Roberto always picks his favourite. The last few times we were very surprised.

-Our first remix will be released on 20 November, more on that on Friday when the press release and the DJ line-up have been finalised

-On 23rd November I am off to the deserted North Sea with my main band. Another video, singing in, mastering…and some more Maidchen stuff that I'll post here.

-I recorded the last take of the German version of ‘Annabelle Lee’ today. Oh, it's a beautiful poem. And I really don't care if guys find me a turn-off because of it (see my post about our song ‘Hör auf im Bett über Marc Aurel zu reden"). If I get goosebumps when I'm recording, that's always a good sign.

…By the way, I still think that ‘Der blinde Sänger’ from Lisztober #9 is one of our best songs ;)

[fact-anonymous]

So I am a Thomas Sanders introject and I don’t know if I count as a fictive or a factive (so I’m sorry if shouldn’t really be using this blog) because Im specifically sourced from the character version of him from his Sanders Sides webseries. And if whoever’s reading this doesn’t know what that is what you need to know is that character Thomas is MUCH closer to real life Thomas then most character versions of YouTubers. I had (he has) almost all of the same friends, same interests, very similar personality, and most likely similar struggles but I don’t know that for sure.

It’s just weird because I relate to a lot of factive posts about having a source that did some bad stuff (real life Thomas is currently being accused of underpaying his employees! great time for me to make my presence known to my headmates…) but I don’t actually remember doing any of that? I don’t know what I’m supposed to be and I keep hearing about social media posts saying the show I’m sourced from is declining in quality or that the influencer I’m maybe sourced from is making weird choices and I just want everything to shut up and I’m just… so tired

At least my sides are here, even when I become a voice in someone else’s head I can’t escape the voices in mine /lh 💗

(Side note I know it’s probably inevitable but the idea of anyone even slightly involved in my sources fandom seeing this post makes me irrationally nervous)

(feel free to ask for removal of response)

Mod Silhouette: For some people, sometimes labels aren't about describing your exact experience, but what experiences you relate to. Being a fictive and factive at the same time, or someone between those two, is not something you alone experience. Like people who are sourced from personas (wrestlers, youtubers, other performers.) Many use the term faitive or fucktive for that, but you don't have to. You can simply choose both labels, just one, or neither. And you're welcome on this blog either way.

Anyway, it's valid not to have the same memories/lives as your counterpart. It doesn't detract from your identity as Thomas Sanders.

It's okay to avoid fandom, especially fandom negativity. You deserve respect despite your counterpart's actions. We hope your headmates respect you, too.

We won't tag your name, so we hope the Sanders Sides fandom won't see this.

[yourlocalartsonist]

ROTTMNT Moths Fly In Packs - Chapter Three

A/N: HEY IM ALIVE. I am so sorry it’s been two literal weeks I got stuck in a rut and then like couldn’t figure out how to write from there for the life of me 🫠 BUT HEY I figured it out eventually and Ngl I think this chapter turned out pretty fun and cute! It is the first time I wrote Mikey for a long period of time and a little bit of Donnie too so like, apologies for any OOC moments. I’m still learning TvT But yesyes, enjoy the read and thank you for your time <3 Also I’ve decided Mikey and Salena’s duo name is gonna be Pink Tangerine anyway byeeeeeeeee

Next Chapter

Previous Chapter

Chapter One

Disclaimer: Chapter involves light manipulation, light sexual harassment, curse words, and violence. If you’re sensitive to that stuff, scroll past and stay safe <3

The mushy brown grub splat down on my tray.

I stuck out my tongue in disgust. School lunch might honestly be the worst thing known to man, the bar is so low the devil plays limbo with it. Yet somehow this school still puts everywhere else to shame.

I overheard from some of the upperclassmen a while back that the food used to be on par with others, apparently it got worse after they hired a new lunch aid. No one ever told him anything, though. We’re all way too scared of him.

We sat down at a table and I began poking the food with my fork, mentally preparing to stomach it down. Jaiden looked at me with similarly dead eyes from our meal.

“God, this is so gross. I get that this lunch is supposed to be healthy and all but sometimes I’d rather just eat burger grease.”

That was the second reason I never said anything to the lunch aid. As much as I shit on the food, it’s actually healthier than the usual microwaved fries and stuff. I’ve noticed the effects too, ever since I joined Roosevelt High last year my body admittedly felt much less sluggish.

“Well, food is food. Let’s just be grateful it’s even human food at this point.”

They giggled and scoffed. “Yeah, barely.”

Trying to distract myself from how squishy my mouth felt at every bite, I focused on Jaiden instead. They don’t really emote often, they’re the type of person to have a resting-bitch-face 24/7. But of course, one of life’s greatest ironies was blessing Jaiden with one of the heartiest smiles I’ve ever seen.

For a moment their lips curve, their forehead wrinkles, and their tooth gap is on full display. Eyes shut, all their thoughts were too focused on whatever brought them so much glee, completely forgetting to worry about how they looked or were being perceived. I wish they could be like that all the time.

“Hello? You’re staring at me like a creep again.”

“I know, I know. I’ll stop.” I rolled my eyes, knowing they didn’t actually mind.

“You really should smile more often, though. You’re gifted with such a pretty smile but you never show it off, Jay.”

It went quiet. Before I could spend too long worrying if I said the wrong thing, they broke the silence.

“Hey, can I talk to you about something?”

“Is that even a question? You know you can tell me anything.”

“Well yeah but…it’s kinda relationship related.”

Oh dear. I straightened up and focused all my attention on them. I may be ass at understanding romance but by god, I still tried my best to help Jaiden with theirs.

“So…Was he distant again?”

“I mean, yeah technically. But it’s not even just him anymore, I haven’t been the best at reaching out either. I don’t want anyone else to know this so you better keep it a secret.”

I nodded and they continued.

“I guess I just can’t find any reason to catch up with him. He barely talks to me, stopped complimenting me, and I just can’t like him like that when it feels like he doesn’t even remember we’re dating. I haven’t felt happy with him or confident or anything cause he doesn’t! Talk! About! Me!”

“Ah y-yeah, that’s…that’s pretty bad.”

“He knows how I feel about this stuff. I’m worried he’s not into me anymore. I haven’t felt beautiful in so long because of him. I feel invisible Salena.”

I thought back to our old school. Jaiden had a huge crush on one of our classmates and miraculously got asked out by him just a year later. It was quite the celebratory moment, we stayed up for hours gushing about it over the phone that night. That memory still makes me feel warm.

“What are you gonna do now?”

“That’s what I don’t know. I’m not sure what to do or how to take all of this. Nothing really feels the same anymore.” Their face fell back to its usual deadpan stare. “Honestly, I’m wondering if it would be better to just break things off.”

“…Well, whatever happens, I’m here for you.”

We sat in awkward silence. I wish I was better at comforting people. Jaiden isn’t a huge hugger either so I can’t even try that.

“By the way I…I think I’m starting to like someone else, actually.”

Their voice was barely above a whisper. Before I could ask who, a tray slammed down between us.

“Hey, guys - Jaiden move over a bit - what’d I miss?”

“Hey Zane!”

“Hiya Zane.” I gave him a small wave and Jaiden and I made room for him between us.

I started zoning out a bit while Jaiden and Zane caught up with each other. My mind wouldn’t stop thinking about what Jaiden said. That they like someone else. I mean, it’s not a wild idea considering how they and their boyfriend barely count as a couple anymore but still. Last I checked, Jaiden pretty much loathed the kids in our grade and neither of us get crushes that easily so I wonder who actually got their heart all soft.

I jumped from a sudden sharp pain in my legs. Jaiden and Zane’s conversation paused as they redirected their attention to me and my agony.

“Hey dude, are you okay?”

“Yep! I’m fine, just been working my legs a bit too much I suppose!”

Damn it Leo and your stupid persuasiveness.

What he promised would only be a “weekend thing” turned into an “almost every night thing”, leading to my legs cursing me out from how much pain consistent parkour brings them. Worst part is I can’t even blame him entirely, I’m a druggie for dopamine and caved in at the first mention of doing it more often.

“Are you sure you’re alright? Your legs keep hurting lately. Do you need painkillers? Or do you wanna go to the nurse? I can take you there!” Zane reached out and grabbed my hand.

I could feel the hair on my arms rising for the wrong reasons. Panicking, I pulled my hand back and rushed to reassure them both I was perfectly okay. Thankfully, we moved on and Zane started to ramble about some guy in his class annoying him today.

Or at least, he moved on. I was still trying to recover from the contact. I mean, this isn’t the first time he’s held my hand, our friendship was always very physically affectionate. But I just haven’t been able to handle any touch from Zane for a while. I hate that everything feels so different now knowing that he likes me. It’s not like he can control it, why do I have to be so weird about it? A little hand-holding shouldn’t get such a repulsed reaction from me.

I decided to stop my brain’s downwards spiral and calm myself down. I took a quiet breath and joined back in the conversation.

I caught Jaiden glancing at his hand. They were quieter than usual after that.

***

I walked out the building as the school day ended, the afternoon sun lit up the schoolyard. The weather was getting pleasantly warmer as spring truly settled in.

Zane walked beside me with a lollipop in his mouth as we both waited for Jaiden. The two of them have an elective today but Jaiden had to run a quick question by the teacher and told me to keep Zane company for the time being. I had my own plans but it’s no biggie, all electives start ten minutes after school ends so we’ve got time. I already let Mikey know I’d be running a little late.

“I know I’m not Mr. Sunshine or anything, but I’d be lying if I said it isn’t gorgeous out today.”

“Hm? Oh, yeah, it really is!”

“...You’re still thinking about Jaiden aren’t you?”

“Y-yeah sorry.”

I could tell Zane was getting a bit irritated. My attention hadn’t really been on him much today, I just couldn’t shake the feeling something was wrong with Jaiden. I know they don’t really talk much but they got abnormally quiet after lunch even for them.

“I told you they’re fine Salena. I even checked in twice for your sake.”

“I know it’s just… Nevermind, you know me, I get paranoid easily.” That’s only half true. I’m paranoid but I’m not stupid.

“Hey actually, I was wondering.” He leaned closer and started playing with a loose strand of my hair, prompting me to lean away “Jaiden seemed really tired today so maybe they’d wanna go home early and rest. Do you want to-“

“I’m here.”

They stared at us with a frown on their face. Their voice was monotone. It was always monotone but usually it’d have a bit of charm mixed in with the whole dead-inside vibe. Something wasn’t right.

But no matter! They’re both here now and I should honestly get going. Zane’s here with them so I can worry about Jaiden tomorrow.

“Great! Seeing as you two are ready to go, I shall take my leave as well. Bye guys!”

“But-“

They cut him off. “Bye Salena.”

I don’t know what I did but something definitely happened with Jaiden.

Even though I didn’t manage to fully suppress my thoughts, the walk to the alley where we agreed to meet drifted my attention back towards the beautiful sunny day. The sky was cloudless, a soft spring breeze. For once the air wasn’t clouded with the stinging scent of garbage and car smoke and instead smelled fresh. Woodsy even. Don’t really get a day this perfect often here. It must’ve been fate for today to be the day I’m actually spending time with one of the guys.

Thanks to Leo’s reassurance that night, I gained some confidence and took his advice on talking with them more often. Mikey was definitely the most receptive to that. He and I bonded pretty quickly due to us being the same age and having a similar (and superior) artistic taste so obviously I had to say yes when he asked to hang out, even if it took a while for our schedules to line up.

I did one last scan to make sure no one was around before texting Mikey of my arrival. He popped out from behind a dumpster, eyes matching the bright blue sky.

“Hey hey hey! Ready for the world’s most epic hang out ever?”

“Hell yes I am! I’ve been waiting for this all week! But uh, you’re 100% sure being out in public during the day won’t be a problem considering…this whole situation?”

“We’re fine, chill. No one will recognize me with my super amazing Raph-approved disguise on!”

…His disguise was a hoodie and pants.

I mean, I guess it is New York so no one will probably care enough to notice. Or care even after they do notice. I think I’m just a little nervous since it’s my first time out in public with him.

Besides, his fit was on fire! He wore a cropped orange hoodie with white accents matched with baggy, light cargo pants. He actually looked a little taller from the pairing, maybe I should take fashion tips from him. He did remind me a little of those orange-and-creme popsicle sticks though.

I heard thumping in the distance and cocked my head to hear better.

Clomp, clomp, clomp.

Footsteps? Loud, heavy ones. They remind me of…

“Mikey, you have to hide! S-someone’s coming!”

“But I’m disgui-”

“Trust me just go!”

As he jumped back behind the dumpster, Zane came around the corner and found me leaning against the wall pretending to be on my phone. I mentally high-fived myself for the spot-on guess.

“There you are.”

“Hey! Did you need something?”

“Oh, no. Or well, yeah actually but first, what are you doing next to a garbage bin?”

“I’m waiting for my friend. We have plans today.”

“W-what?” His brows furrowed, pained eyes pierced mine “Plans? With who? Jaiden isn’t even free today.”

“I have other friends too, Zane.”

He scoffed and shoved his hands down his pockets.

“Like, who? Druggies?” …Homie what the hell?

“What kind of people are you friends with that have you meet up with them here?”

“Uh, why are you getting so mad anyway? I’m just meeting up with someone.”

“Well, I don’t want that someone to be dangerous! I’m just looking out for you.” He sighed. “And also because I was gonna ask if you wanted to hang out with me today.”

Confused, I stared back at him. “But you and Jaiden have an elective today? The one I just left you two at?”

“Yeah and I told Jaiden I was gonna skip. It’s a nice day, I wanted to be with you. Looks like I did all that for nothing.” Another sigh.

“Oh. I-I’m sorry, I didn’t know- Wait, hold on, you left Jaiden?” Oh god. I subconsciously started biting my nails. “Zane, they were already visibly upset today! They need someone with them!”

Stomping my feet, I tried searching for a solution. I couldn’t just cancel on Mikey, we’ve had this planned for so long! But I can’t leave Jaiden on their own either. They have certain tendencies and I can’t risk that again. Ugh, everything would’ve been okay if at least Zane was with them!

“Zane, you have to go back. Jaiden needs company and I’m busy today anyway.”

“Don’t panic so much, they said they’d be fine.”

“And you believed that? You know they’ve lied about that before. Several times before! They didn’t seem okay, I need you to be them.”

“But I want to be with you. Not Jaiden, you. You can’t expect me to just control these things, Salena.”

This dude! Why is he being so difficult?

Okay, calm down Salena. Not a time for anger.

“I-I know, but it’s just one day. Jaiden’s your friend, too. And besides, you’ll both have fun this way!”

My attempts to shoo him away changed his angered face. He suddenly looked so disheartened I can’t tell if it was better or worse. I’m a little annoyed he left Jaiden on their own but he must’ve planned this out for a while if he seems this disappointed. I guess I’d be upset too if I was in his shoes. Though I also would’ve asked the other person ahead of time but different people, different mindsets I suppose. I softened my tone.

“Hey, Zane? I promise we’ll hang out tomorrow. I’ll make it up to you. And we can even call when I’m done, okay? But right now Jaiden needs you. And I need this. Just…can I please have a few hours away today?”

He looked at me, conflicting eyes switching between both of mine. Third sigh, more whispery than the others “...Fine, you know I can’t say no to you. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He pat my head, slightly ruffling my hair “Don’t forget to call me when you’re free.”

Hearing the heavy steps fade as he got farther and farther away, I let out the biggest exhale of my life as my body slumped over.

“Ooh mama, that was rough.” Mikey, somehow already next to me, matched my relief. “Does he always act like that?”

“Well, ‘always’ is a strong word…”

“And you’ve never told him how you feel about it? Never, you know, put down boundaries?”

My eyes scampered around to focus on anything but his face while my body shrunk. Guilty as charged.

He sighed and whipped out a pair of round glasses, swinging his arm over my shoulder “So, I know Dr. Feelings is supposed to be on vacation for the day, but since you’re a friend you get special privileges!”

“Um…D-Doctor who?”

“Tell me about this guy, Salena.”

After recovering from the reveal of his secret therapist mode, I told Mikey about Zane and our friendship as we made our way to an ice cream parlor. According to him, talking about your feelings is always better with a sweet treat to distract you from your crushing crippling depression.

“Wait wait, before we start, what flavor?”

“Oh, chocolate obviously.”

His eyes lit up as he happily hummed “A person of culture! Begin~” He handed me a chocolate cone and got the same for himself.

I felt a little guilty for using him on a day we were meant to relax but at the same time, the thought of having someone to talk to about my weird dynamic with Zane made it weirdly hard to resist. Plus, Mikey just has a very calming presence to him, one that makes it so easy to open up and word-vomit your entire life story to.

Still, I tried my best to not overshare and disrespect Zane’s privacy so I kept things brief and broad, only mentioning what I felt was note-worthy. And probably better to keep his crush on me hidden for now, at least.

Instead, I briefed him about Zane’s home life being the classic “rich kid with absent and narcissistic parents” trope and how much his older brother, or better known as the golden child, emotionally abused him growing up. I could sense Mikey softened a bit at that.

I mentioned Zane’s anger issues, habitual bullying, fear of abandonment. His slowly-developed kleptomania. I told him about the people Zane hung out with and of my secret disapproval of them. If Zane seems bad, those guys make him seem heavenly.

And lastly, I talked about our unlikely friendship. How he gradually became nicer to me. How he told me how different I was to him the day I asked why he stopped bullying me. How unexpectedly sweet and protective he can be.

And how scared he’d get sometimes that one day I’d just ditch him like everyone else did.

“That’s awful! It must’ve been hard for him dealing with all of that.”

“It was. That’s why he’s so clingy towards me. He feels like no one understands him the way I do or even wants to try.”

“I’m guessing that’s why you deal with it.”

I quietly nodded. “I know he can be a bit much sometimes. But I don’t ever want to leave him. He’s like family to me, it just wouldn't be right if I abandoned him.”

Mikey smiled at me “Yeah, don’t worry, I get that.”

He took another bite of his cone and stared out the window. He looked strangely timid, I’ve never seen Mikey so mild-mannered before.

“Do you remember when I told you about our dad Draxum?”

“Oh yeah, the sheep guy! You mentioned he had a ‘bad boy’ phase. Heh, ba-a-a-a-a-ad.” I giggled to myself mimicking a sheep as Mikey looked at me with horrific disgust.

“Leo must love you, doesn’t he.”

“Oh hush, it was funny. Anyway, you were saying?~”

“Well during his ‘insert ruined joke here’ phase, Draxum used to try to kill us like at least once a week. He went on and on about wanting to ‘destroy humanity’ and ‘protect Yōkai kind’ and we were made to do that.”

We started walking outside as he continued his story.

“But, my brothers and I could never. We love humans, I mean you guys literally invented art! And even though Draxum made us, he wasn’t attached enough to not brutally murder us for that disagreement. He threw Leo off a roof once, too.”

“Sorry, what now?” It’s making sense now why Leo was so careful about me not falling when we hang out.

“Yeah, I felt so bad! I mean, Raph gets to see something as cool as that happen but I’m stuck being used as a tug-of-war rope for a giant spider lady! The universe can be so unfair…”

“Your priorities are confusing but go on.”

We made our way on to a roof to enjoy the city’s view. Mikey went on a tangent about all their adventures stopping Draxum and the poorly-named Foot Clan from assembling this mythical shredding monster guy. Whoever named these guys needs originality lessons.

“Then after they finished making the Shredder, they betrayed Draxum. They only wanted to use him so the armor thing would work. And I know that we’re supposed to hate him and stuff, but I felt really really bad for him.”

I thought back to how I felt every time someone I thought was a friend ended up stabbing me in the back “Honestly, I would too. Villain or not, betrayal still sucks.”

“Exactly! And to make matters worse, I found him living on the streets later! He’s a wanted criminal in the Hidden City and had nowhere to go in New York. So obviously, I set him up with a nice, top tier home and helped him adjust to humanity. My brothers doubted us a lot but he’s doing great now. He even has his own job as a lunch aid!”

His bubbly smile dropped as he looked off to the distance. Up until now, Mikey’s been pretty animated when he talks, using his hands and sometimes whole body to enhance his speech. Right now though, he was still. Very still.

“But back then, sometimes even I thought I was crazy. I was trying to change a guy who’s fear-response was genocide, that’s not an easy thing to do. So many failed attempts at getting him to like humans, so many failed attempts of him trying to throw kids when they got on his nerves. Don’t get me wrong, it’s more than worth it in the end but when you’re actually doing it? It’s so exhausting.”

Exhausting. I never realized how fitting that word sounded until he said it. Exhausting.

“That sounds like a literal nightmare. Especially without any external support…” Oh god this was hitting too close to home. Abort! Abort!

“Wanna know what kept me going?”

“Yeah?”

He turned towards me. His blue eyes were illuminated by the sun. Actually, there were some new spots on his body that were glowing, too?

“Draxum made us. He was family to me. It wouldn’t be right to just abandon him.”

Oh.

He turned back to look at the sky. “I know you care about Zane and I can empathize with that so I’ll say this as nicely as I can… ZANE IS A WHINY PIECE OF SHIT.”

I forgot how loud Mikey screams oh god.

“He’s clingy, he’s rude, he called me a druggie for choosing to meet up in an alley, I mean what’s wrong with either?!”

“Micheal my ears, please.”

He took a deep breath and by the grace of heaven itself he calmed down.

“Look, I don’t know if you can help Zane the same way I helped Draxum. Some people don’t want to be changed, that was my biggest fear with Drax. But that’s not my point.” He put a soft hand on my shoulder, the tone of his voice sounded different. “What I’m saying is, I get it.”

My throat felt itchy. I hadn’t heard words like that in years. Having someone say they understand me, not being judged or getting weird looks for feeling the way I do. And I can’t even help believing him, after everything he’s told me it sounds like he meant it. I don’t really know how I feel right now. But then again, maybe I don’t have to know.

We stayed in comfortable silence listening to the city below.

There weren’t too many people out right now, everyone who had been outside enjoying the nice weather before were returning home from shopping or leaving cafés. Not many cars on the street, either. All in all, a nice and peaceful day.

Until, of course, it wasn’t.

A giant pink food truck with a weird stake on the top raced by definitively over the speed limit. Another large vehicle following it. It was green with a disk on the back, it kinda looked like a shell? Or maybe I’ve been talking with turtles too often-

“The Turtle Tank?”

“YOU GUYS HAVE A TURTLE TANK?!” Oh my stars! They just keep getting cooler every day I see them!

“And Meatsweat’s truck!”

“Oh, it’s Mr. Oinkerton.”

In the distance we could hear a familiar angry voice screaming vulgar words at the pig mobile through an oversized megaphone. How’d Donnie even get in this situation?

“So like…should we check in on him?”

“Nah, Dee’s probably fine.”

“Okay fair, but he’s partaking in chaotic activities without us.”

“...You know what, I like the way you think! Come on!” He rolled up his sleeve revealing a black band on his wrist and excitedly spoke to it as we both started running to catch up with the trucks.

“Hey Dontron! Why’re you on a chase with Meatsweats?”

“Mikey? You can see me? Are you in proximity?”

“Yeah! We can see you from the rooftops. I’ll wave!”

“Ugh, good I could use the help, Meatsweats upgraded his stupid truck so now it’s too fast to keep up with! Listen, he kidnapped some guy off the street and I don’t know what he’s gonna do so if you could assist-”

“On it, Dee!”

Seeing Mikey speed through the roofs was astounding! He bounced from building to building, doing flips and spins whenever he could. He looked so graceful while doing it, too. Kind of reminds me of ballerinas. Compared to him I was a heaving mess in the back. I’m faster than I was before, that’s for sure, but still had a really hard time keeping up with him. I’m starting to think Leo went easy on me…

But compared to the car chase down below, even Mikey could barely keep up.

“Man, Donnie wasn’t kidding when he said the truck got upgrades. Meatsweats was never this fast before.”

“Mikey, how long are we just gonna tail them? We’re not really getting anywhere like this.”

“Well we can’t run fast enough…” he looked at Meatsweat’s trying to fight Donnie off, leaving the back door to his truck wide open. His eyes lit up “But we can fly fast enough! I’ll swing you!”

Donnie’s voice returned to the comms “Mikey where are you? Could really use that help right now!” Meatsweats was starting to close the door.

Seeing this in my excited adrenalined nature, I rushed to approve the plan. “Okay, let’s do it!”

One of his nunchucks wrapped around me and my legs left the ground. I cut through the air getting flung right into the truck, somehow not breaking any bones after crashing in. Probably should have thought about that before.

I looked out and met Donnie’s panicked glare. “SALENA?!”

“Hi Donnie!” The door shut and my attention turned toward Meatsweats and a terrified boy with a bag covering his head in the corner.

“Who the hell are- oi, you’re the annoying lass from before, aren’t you?” Oh damn, he remembers me. “What’s with you and ruining my dinner plans?”

“Wait, dinner plans? You’re gonna eat him!?”

He looked so unbelievably offended at that, because of course it was such a stretch to come to that conclusion “What are you, stupid? I was a human before getting mutated. I was a world renowned chef, Rupert Swaggart!”

“Your name was Rupert? Ew.”

“SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME!” Oh right, this is a hostage situation.

“Sorry, sorry, distractions. So what you’re saying is, you’re not gonna eat him?”

“No, of course not, human meat is an atrocious flavor.” That’s a relief! “However, they make a lovely meal for mutant livestock. And now I can feed twice the amount.” Oh.

He charged at me with his enormous tenderizer and I quickly got up and prepared my body for the attacks.

Go left! Now right! Right again! DUCK! He’s so swift with his strikes it’s almost too much for me to handle. I tried looking for any openings out but it was useless! All the doors are locked and he’s blocking the switch.

“How come he gets tied up but I have to be killed now?”

“Personal grudges.”

I got backed into a corner and narrowly avoided a butcher knife thrown straight at my head. Whatever greater force is keeping me safe, I owe you my life.

Wait! He threw a knife!

Genius struck me as I pulled the blade out from the wall. I charged at him, getting all my energy ready for the blow. Meatsweats chuckled.

“Aww, you really think you can fight back with a tiny cleaver?”

“Not quite.”

Instead of the slice the idiot pig prepared for, I planted my foot firm on the ground and swung the sharp blade to the left, smashing right through the window.

“What the-”

Perfect! Now to take care of the swine.

I darted around the room taunting him, now being the one to control where he’d strike. My heart was beating at the speed of sound, legs quick and light. My reflexes took over completely. It’s crazy to say this but I feel like I’m really in my zone!

Once I annoyed him enough to turn his blows even more aggressive than before, I ran right behind him, clinging on to his back. He took the bait and smashed down. The metal hammer hit him smack dab on the head as I dodged away, knocking him out.

Cutting my celebrations short, I rushed over to the boy and helped him up. He flinched at my touch, the bag still blinding his sight.

“What’s happening?!”

“Your rescue, that’s what. Now, come on!”

I helped him avoid the loose shards on the bottom while getting his body out the window. I stuck my head out and yelled for Donnie, who was still right behind us relieved to see me in one piece.

“Donnie I’m throwing him out the window, tell me when Mikey’s ready!”

“I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WERE RESCUING ME!”

After getting the thumbs up from Donnie, I pushed the boy out to the streets and sure enough, Mikey’s chains caught him and pulled him up to wherever he was on the roofs.

I heard a grunt behind me. Meatsweats was awake already? God I can’t believe I was scared I actually hurt him.

I scampered up to the roof of the truck. Unfortunately got jumpscared as the vent flung open and Meatsweats tried going through it. My bad for wanting to catch my breath, I guess.

“Salena jump!”

I took his suggestion and ran forward, avoiding the grimy mutant pig, and leaped over to the tank. A hole opened up and allowed me inside with Donnie looking back, setting the tank to autopilot and checking me for any serious injuries.

“So which one of you dum-dums thought it was a brilliant plan to send the untrained non-mutant human into the murderous chef’s vehicle?”

“Oh, was that bad?” Well, at least it’s over now.

Mikey’s voice came through Donnie’s own hand wrap. His were larger than Mikey’s, covering his entire palm compared to Mikey’s wrist bands.

“Donnie! Is Salena okay?”

“Physically or mentally.”

“Yepperoni. I’m right here, Mikey.”

“Phew good! And uh, by any chance, are you guys still following

Meatsweats?”

“Uh, I’m about to stop the tank, why?”

He nervously laughed “So um, you know the person we just saved right? Apparently he had a really important USB with him and he thinks it fell out in the truck…”

“OH COME ON!”

And so the chase continues as we scrambled to find answers.

“Are we really going to keep tracking Meatsweats for a USB drive? Who even uses them anymore!”

“He sounds super panicked so it must be bad, Dee. What if it’s something dangerous?”

“He’s a teenager, Micheal, why would he have dangerous intel?”

“Aren’t you two teenagers?”

“We don’t count!”

“How do we even get it from Meatsweats’ truck?”

Donnie switched over to the control manual and got a bunch of missiles ready “That’s it! I’m going lethal!”

Mikey’s face appeared on the monitor “Donnie don’t! You could destroy the drive thingie.”

“But my moment…”

“Donnie!”

Red lights started blinking, warning about the tank’s declining gas.

“Fine but we’re running out of time, what else can we do?”

“Want me to jump back in?”

“Do you want to die?”

“Sometimes.” They stared at me wide-eyed as I had the dawning realization “Oh wait that was rhetorical, wasn’t it?”

I forced my three brain cells to try and be useful.

C’mon, brain. Think, Salena! Think!

I saw the cleaver I still had in my hands and got an idea.

Bingo!

“Donnie! Drive to his right!”

“What? Um okay. Wait, where are you going!?”

I climbed back out the hole on the top. “When I count to three, stop the Turtle Tank.”

“CAN ANYONE COMMUNICATE THEIR PLANS WITH ME BEFORE IMPULSIVELY JUMPING IN?”

I threw my hair back letting the rushing keep it out of the way.

“Ready Donnie?”

“No.”

I aimed the cleaver for the front right tire and began counting “One…”

Pulled my arm back, getting ready to throw “Two…”

I took a deep breath. Arms don’t fail me now. I swung forward and felt the handle leave my grasp.

“Three!”

The tank jolted to a stop, knocking me forward. Donnie came out and helped me to my feet.

“You good?”

“Well, I’m alive so.”

We looked up and saw the blade successfully puncture the tire, sending the truck skidding to a crash at a light pole.

“Great Galileo, you actually did it. I’ll confess, I’m impressed!” Is this what validation feels like?

The round tangerine joined us not too long after with the boy strapped to his back and came running towards me.

“Salena, you were amazing!” Validation and a hug on the same day? Have I been blessed?

“Hey can someone get this thing off my head now?”

I looked at the boy, then at the horrific scenery behind him. “Uh…maybe we should get to a less chaotic place first.”

Mikey handed me the USB he found in Meatsweats’ truck. ”Sorry our day got interrupted Salena. You can always come back after helping him!”

I was about to agree but felt a buzz on my skirt pocket. I took out my phone and saw a pestering text from my aunt as well as the time being 5:00pm.

“I would but, I should probably get home anyway. You guys okay with um…all that?” I pointed to the passed out pig in his broken down truck.

Donnie pat my head with one of his extra robot arms “No probbles, we’ll take care of it. You’ve helped enough.”

I guess he’s always been nice-ish to me but still didn’t expect affection from him.

I saw him and Mikey chatting while cleaning up the mess, Mikey beaming as Donnie ruffled what would’ve been his hair if he had any. I smiled. Maybe I just never looked close enough at Donnie. Seems like he’s always been this way.

I lead the boy away from the mutant havoc and into a more public area before taking the bag off his head.

“Are you okay?”

He blinked and I studied his features a bit more. Dark eyes, short black hair, and round glasses. “Yeah I-I think. Thanks for saving me.”

I handed him his pen drive and after a few more thank-yous, he left. As promised, gave Zane a call. He didn’t pick up though. I shrugged it off and started walking back home. What a day today has been!

Next Chapter

[risoria]

Dont know if that helps but there are people like me who use social media to unwind, and specifically filter out political content (i do this on tumblr in particular) because i engage in political work in my every day life. Tumblr is my stupid place to recharge. Insta is mixed. Some apps have specific purposes for me. Some of them help me stay informed but they also bring me down. People not engaging with content that they didnt follow the person for doesnt mean they dont care, if that helps. And some people are engaged in other struggles, and might not have the capacities to deal with stuff in other countries, especially if their country is not involved at all. There are many ongoing genocides and wars, meanwhile europe is shifting to the right significantly. Lots of work. Some people pick their battles. And many battles don't happen online.

thank you for your input, i value these conversations! for me personally, unfortunately they don't really help - im sorry, it's not your fault its just that we have different perspectives!

i’m the exact opposite because my previous work DID mentally destroy me completely because… no one really cared - about the suffering, and how abysmal the legislations and the actual realities were (the context is animal cruelty in the food industry but thats not the point, this goes for all politics because….. everything is politics!) - and coming to social media to unwind does help for a little WHILE, but at the end of the day i have to talk about the things weighing on me just to hear that i am not going crazy because other people feel them too… and those conversations with my small social circle and with strangers etc are more important in the long run, both for me and for our communities as a whole. You are absolutely right though that if we're being absolutely honest there are TOO many battles for any one individual to fight - so its a good thing that people do choose the ones they know the most about and that are closest to their heart. But it's also true and inescapable that people also use this as an excuse, "there's too many bad things :c" just to keep up the status quo.

I know this is different from your experience ofc! It was very kind of you to answer my ramblings btw - dont worry, i am fine now (the projects help a lot!), i’m just musing on the ironic fact that i personally dont want to post about insignificant things on my social media anymore simply because it’s too hard when they get engagement and the important posts do not. Again, i absolutely know this doesnt mean people don’t care, and sometimes people just miss posts - and also like you said, some people do their activism etc offline.

however… i’m sure you have also had the misfortune of trying to talk to anti-boycotters or rightwing politicians etc on for example twitter and thus know that shitty people exist everywhere and hearing mockery and dismissal Constantly is taxing for everyone. so when people ""choose to ignore"" things you cant actually tell if theyre just.... staying silent for whatever reason on their soc med (which is… one hell of a choice :))) and its not the right one. objectively) or if they actually don’t care at all - because how Can you know when people choose to stay silent through nine months of this?

also this is just a tangent, but there's also the fact that yes some people just do in fact simply not see the same posts on their timeline, but at the end of the day we all curate our own timelines and its Very free to look up the specific blogs you want to follow that raises awareness etc! again, this is with the assumption that you aren't an activist / work with politics or charities offline ofc, because not that many people do - i don't, for example, but my goal and dream is to start doing it but... i have to piece my brain back together first...

[astrababyy]

omg omgomg im DOWN BAD for the humans in that ask with iron and how poisonous it is for the fae? IMAGINE THE POSSIBILITIES. No, really, I mean that would be so great? not to mention!!! The! Stakes! Like actual, decisive stakes that would be present in a story about a human and fae falling in love? imagine the Drama! The Angst! The pain!!!!

@taskignored was the OG who sent the ask & @ae-neon was the one who received it, for anyone that sees this post! 

ANYWAY...

the demi-fae, yall.

sorry, anon, that's the first thing that came to my mind when i read this ask. like you, i too am in love with that idea of humans being essentially poisonous to fae. truly a genius idea on @/taskignored’s part.

i can't stop thinking about the concept of the demi-fae though, especially when you bring in the stakes of how a human and a faerie would fall in love. i think this would really align with the idea of the only thing powerful enough to turn a human — something so utterly alien and different from the magical fae — into a faerie would be the cauldron itself. the only thing powerful enough to override the innate way human biology fights magic is the very thing that created the world.

also, thinking of how fae would survive without having iron in their blood, how that affects their biology and appearance — all that stuff is so interesting!

going back to the demi-fae, would it even be possible for humans and fae to have offspring together at that point? if fae are from another world, we could logic our way out of that and say that the lack of iron in faerie blood is the main difference between humans and fae (even if it is a vital one)...

anyway! the possibilities? maybe they have magic that hurts to use. maybe using magic and invoking that within them slowly kills them. maybe they develop a sort of immunity that other fae don’t have to iron because of their half-fae, half-human biology. maybe the human side completely overwrites the faerie side, and the only fae characteristics they adopt are the ones that remain without the involvement of magic. it could be so interesting!!

it’s not just the demi-fae either. the scales between predator and prey would also significantly even out since the fae can’t even use the humans in any sort of way due to their iron blood. it’d also be interesting to see how the fae develop without being able to have access to food sources that have iron in them. do they create their own food sources? is that why prythian seems so much more different from the rest of the world? because they have to isolate themselves to keep themselves alive, and the only reason they’ve even managed to survive in a world that’s so hostile towards them is due to their access to magic.

if we go to acotar’s setup, there’d be a different tone to it. the humans are quite literally the only thing that amarantha can’t beat, and so would she have even wanted them to be brought into the equation by involving them in tamlin’s curse? they’re immune to magic, and so directly harming them is impossible. maybe, depending on how this would work, she could manipulate things that can harm them to do the job for her. say... create a sinkhole and let the human fall inside. start a fire and burn them to death. remove air from an area so they suffocate. etc. etc. there’d just be different kind of limitations to how she’d go about harming them, and that could be so interesting because everything that makes a magic system special and “realistic” is its limitations.

maybe instead, amarantha sets up fortifications around the wall to ensure the humans don’t ever find out what’s going on. they probably wouldn’t ever be all that willing to help the fae though, realistically, and i doubt the fae would ever be too keen on enslaving the humans (as said in the og post) considering the iron thing.

maybe the sentries that are sent over the wall are ones that escape to ask the humans for help. their weapons, blood, and everything in between are all crafted in and using iron. they’d, in many ways, be incredibly difficult for amarantha to defeat with the right protections. maybe the children of the blessed are a cult that doesn’t worship fae but sees them as friends and wants to help them, something started by fae sneaking over the wall and spreading such propaganda in the hopes that it’d become popular.

maybe feyre never ends up dying. maybe the humans defeat amarantha using their own brilliance, and feyre remains human. it’d be a completely different ballpark of geopolitics since the humans have just saved the fae from ruin, and now hybern is coming in with the cauldron to idk destroy the human race and all other beings with iron in their blood so magical beings can take over once and for all.

and this is a thing that doesn’t hurt the fae — in fact, it helps them. but the humans have just saved them from oppression under the cruel rule of amarantha, and so do they help the humans despite the benefits or allow hybern to wield the cauldron against them?

[jackienautism]

Now I’m really curious about your thoughts on the other counselors. I don’t really have any strong opinions on them much tbh idk why. Maybe it’s the whole “horny teenager” trope or something

(finally getting around to this. sorry for taking so long dfkldg)

yeaaaah fair enough dfgjndg thats exactly why i get pissed off playing the game tbh. it just becomes so convoluted with this romantic whatever bullshit that it gets SUPER TIRING...... but that's ok though bc silas kaylee and caleb need someone to love them unconditionally right?

anywho! i appreciate you wanting to see my other unfiltered opinions on the characters kdfgdfjg bc gosh do i have a lot. especcially for TQ bitches. as i just ssaid,

i AM going to get unfiltered and potentially brutal so if anyone is your ultimate bestie i recommend not reading (abi and laura are safe though of course<3) (mainly because nothing about either of them necessarily irritated me LOL and im easy to irritate)

im going to reference my thoughts on the characters from a note i wrote after playing through like ? chapter 4 for the first time. but honestly not miuch has changed. and just to preface this a good portion of my negative opinions come from the campfire scene in chapter 2 LOL like. when i first played the game i began disliking like more than half the characters here alone

//

dylan: talked about him here (its not positive)

//

nick: i just think hes a prick who doesn't deserve abi 🤷 of course he was given the short end of the stick in terms of screentime, but its kind of funny bc kaitlyn has a similar amount of Actual walk around time and she's there like. the entire game LMAO so yeah that pisses me off. nick has 3 moments where you play as him, and kaitlyn has 5/6, depending on how you separate her section in chapter 10. they both have the same amount of Get To Explore And Walk Around time though, which is a whopping total of one thanks guys. anywho. even before he began acting like a creep i didnt like him lol... and no surprise but it all stems from chapter 2...

long story short, i dont doubt that nick actually cares for abi and likes her but i think in the grand scheme of things it mostly has to do w/ him wanting tits and ass... sort of similar to mike's whole deal... and i believe this based on the bullshit he pulls w/ emma. yeah he says that "tHiS mIgHt NoT bE a GoOd IdEa" and yet he still plays along despite dylan saying that 2 people can kiss AS LONG AS everyone consents. he could've gotten out of the situation. and yet he fucking didnt. i dont care if he didnt realize the consequences of his actions, if he TRULY liked abi he wouldnt have done this shit in the first place. "ive had my moments, im not proud of some of the stuff ive done" DOG YOU JUST HAD A MOMENT AND YOURE NOT EVEN FUCKING APOLOGIZING TO THE PERSON YOU HURT!!!!!! idc if it technically wasnt totally his fault. he still was involved in humiliating and upsetting abi. all he blames it on is playing alonog with emma's plan to make jacob jealous and aside from that just being such a shitty anf fucked up excuse in general, its not even ???? true?????????? GOD. IM SORRY. THE WHOLE SITUATION MAKES ME SO UPSET

//

jacob: as said in my previous TQ / UD rankings... i really flip flop w/ him alot. however im def leaning towards neutral to dislike NGL. i HAAATED his whole thing w/ emma like incredibly so. however. i did feell real bad for him during chapter 1, despite already knowing that he was the one to bust the truck up and keep everyone there another night. i felt bad despite already having a reason TO dislike him. kaitlyn was being mean for no reason. nick and dylan were being mean for no reason. it's just... it's almost like he was being used as the group's laughing stock. but as time went on i just continually became less and less willing to sympathize . hell, he's just a INFINITELY less sympathetic josh... of course seeing him crying and upset in ch 3 was sad, but at this point i don't really know what he expected im sorry. he really dragged all these other people into his bullshit with emma. and it's more than clear how emma feels about their relationship, of course emma wasn't great either with him, but jacob isn't an angel ... EITHER in this situation. of COURSE he couldn’t have known that the night would go the way it does, but it doesn’t negate the fact that fucking up the truck was a shitty move regardless LMAO as said previously, i HAAATe how fucking possessive he is of her. like when nick tells jacob that he could see what emma wantss? and jacob just laughs it off? it's so fucking stupid dog. character wise though, he of course has a lot going for him and i can see why people find appeal in him. especially seeing hwo many stereotypes theyre subverting, in terms of jacob showing emotions and shit. but for me personally, it's a no

//

ryan: my man🤝 even after all this time.... i find him very respectable and i very much appreciate him. similar to my deal w/ abi, even his more "asshole-ish" moments / dialogue choices (aside from a few off the top of my head LOL) are like. justified... and in character... like. him being so pissed off at and wary of laura? like????? laura is my beloved but this random girl just popped out of nowhere, killed one of his closest friends, and now wants to kill what he has of a father figure? like yeah id be acting like ryan too if i were put into his situation LMAO yeah you can be annoyed w/ his actions and behavior, but in context? the way he's acting is understandable and justified. it doesnt DESERVE criticism, because there's nothing to criticize! he's acting as any normal person would! of COURSE it's annoying how he doesn't BELIEVE laura, that's a whole other can of worms, but overall he's allowed to be a pissed off little bitch. and him potentially going against the whole party idea? that line of dialogue is just more in character for him i will not accept any other answer. it makes no sense that he'd suddenly go against chris' word. and it PISSES ME OOOOFF seeing how the game still like ? has ryan show up to the party despite being adamant against it.

ANYWAY.... ppl don't appreciate his autistic swag like i do. "he has no character" "he's boring" TO YOU. y'all rly see a character mainly speak in a monotone voice and rarely smile / show expression and go. yeah he's boring . do you not see the like . connotations of that. like be for real. he’s like. one of the only few genuinely good ppl here lmao and seeing how chris says that ryan is one of his fave counselors and how he TRUSTS him enough to hold all this responsibility + have all these in depth talks w him it’s just. you see what kind of person ryan is just from that. and how so far ryan is the only character (while you’re in control) who’s able to interject whatever bullshit is being said at the moment it just. i’m sorry. he’s just a good guy. i respect how he’s willing to go against the bulk of the group during the whole party or lodge thing. i also respect that he’s willing to put a fucking end to dylan’s invasive fucked up truth question. i KNOW that it all depends on the Player to choose these specific options BUT. they just fit ryan’s character more so🤷 what can i say. fuck everyone else

//

max: my bf (real)

laura: my gf (real)

abi: me (irl)

//

emma: in my original note i said that i was leaning torwards neutral to dislike lmao....... oh have the turns havbe tabled. anywho. i think shes such a stupid dumbass bitch. she's so funny for no goddamn reason. i am shoving her down a flight of stairs. i love her character sooo much. i hate how she acted with jacob (despite most of it being her people pleaser side Showing but, that's a whole different conversation i am willing to have). she's suuuuch a beloved but gooooooood god i draw the line at being such a shitty friend to abi. that's my biggest complaint when it comes to emma and her actions. i understand that she has a moment where she's like "you're my best friend, i need you" and i fucking eat that shit up but almost everything else that happens and happens prior..... just goddddddddddddddddddddddddddd

to get started. most of this is gonna be nitpicky and personal shit, so if you think it's small and shouldn't be addressed, then you're probably right LOL im just ultra sensitive to this sort of stuff due to past personal experiences. ANYWAY!!!!!! you know the little teasy comment emma makes towards abi after you avoid hitting the squirrel? how she's like, "this is her first time asking a guy out like EVER"? it makes me wanna beat her up fr kldfggnfg bc it's like... it's not a thing to joke about... i see sooo much of myself in abi meaning i see her as autistic and that's just. you know how much being autistic hinders those sort of abilities? i obviously can't say for sure but, seeing how abi later talks about people wantingher to interact w/ others better? hence why she went to summer camp in the first place? i'd say that probably isn't too outrageous to think...

and sort of continuing off that same topic, when abi is having trouble choosing someone for truth or dare, how emma is just like. "ding ding ding, my turn!" LIKE. AS HER FRIEND. WHO PROBABLY KNOWS ABOUT HOW MUCH ABI STRUGGLES SOCIALLY. DON'T YOU THINK SHE'D BE LIKE? "OHH ABI JUST PICKK ME" INSTEAD OF HUMILIATING HER? LIKE. BC THERES SOOO MANY DIFF WAYS OF MOVING ON AND HELPING ABI OUT....... GOING ABOUT IT THW WAY EMMA DID ISN'T THE WAY TO GO......... ESPECIALLY KNNOWING HOW SOCIALLY ANXIOUS ABI IS.... anyway. while we're on the campfire scene, it's so fucked why she chooses to kiss nick lmao like ok yeah it may work in the end (potentially) but its still ?????????????? girl you know how much abi likes nick (SUPPOSEDLY) why go about this shit in the most destructive way possible? and what makes me even MORe mad is that. they dont even ever address this scene ever again???? despite it being such a huge and humiliating and probably traumatizing moment for abi??????????? YES they're able to have a more in depth andf heart to heart conversation about their relationship. but its not fucking enough! bc that fucking stupid ass dare and its outcome was the catalyst for the rest of the night's events lmao! imagine beign brushed aside and seen as a social fucking experiment for your entire life. which is something im SURE abi has felt and experienced. and emma, her best friend, LITERALLY CONTRIBUTES TO THAT!!!!!! ITS SO FUCKED AND IT MAKES ME SO ANGRY. i could probably go on about this topic but ill leabe it for a separate post i guess anyway if i were abi id be fucking pissed off and upset

her character means so very much to be like her whole people pleaser and "curate myself to each individual person ive ever met to keep them fromn leaving me" resonates so so much with me and i love it so much. ive talked about this b4 in a previous post but i can only imagine how lonely she feels, acting the way she acts. no one will ever truly know who she is. shes in a constant state of performance. every single person she's ever met has a different perception of her in their head. and, in one way or another, it's all wrong!!!! i love you emma mountebank i love you abigail blyg

//

kaitlyn: i wont even lie i instantly fell in love w her after hearing the INSANE shit she says fnsjfjsnf esp felt it after the “jacob go upstairs. jacob get bag. kaitlyn moves on with her goddamn life” fell in love fr. and her whole stupid monologue after jacob was like "yeah i mean, what did i expect would happen?" SHES LITERALLY INSANE. but. like. i was not and still Am not happy w how she treated abi during the campfire scene though. due to 1. her telling abi to basically hurry the fuck up despite seeing how much she was GENUINELY struggling, and also potentially knowing about her social struggles prior. bc they're friends. right? and 2. just coming up wiht the dare in general lol it was such a fucked up thing to do and as ive said w/ emma, the fact theyre unable to actually jhave a convo abt it later is suuuuper dumb and shitty imo. esp seeing just how upset abi got, and the most fucked up thing is, neither kaitlyn NOR emma seem to show any remorse for it!!!!! that's just so fucked up

anywho. hate how both of their asian girls (emily in until dawn) are characterized as bossy and very. my way or the highway. it’s actually real fucked up in that light. fuck you supermassive. y’all are lucky that these 2 characters are their respective games’ baddest bitches . i SUPPOSE it isn’t THAT as big of a deal in this game bc. there are like. objectively more unlikable characters (in the guys AND girls) so kaitlyn doesn’t stand out as much (as emily did. she was practically written to be hated. bc NO ONE ELSE was as strong personality wise as her. i suppose jess comes close but 1. i think ppl shit on her for other stupid shit anyway SO and 2. she effs off for more than half the game) but it still doesn’t make it ok lmao. bc it’s a trend that is very :/ mmmmmmm. even if it’s not that much of a cliche stereotype for asian women, seeing them write both of their asian girls ALMOST THE EXACT SAME WAY is a bit sussy goddamn baka. went off a bit there lmao. anyway. i’m a weak pussy bitch and after she softened after abi returned freaked out i 😭 i love you. more positive (and NON GUY related) interactions between the girlies please. i literally love her relationship w/ abi so much it's so interesting to me.

and just... to talk about her character real quick, i mmentioned in my tier list that her character frustrates me. and you wanna know why? ive talked abt this b4 but her character is basically a watered down emily davis. and i say this bc. they both overall are the same archetype. except. in kaitlyn's case. there's really no reason for me to like ???? feel bad for her? djjfggkj LIKE. THERE'S LITTLE TO NO SUBSTANCE TO HER CHARACTER.... AND THERE CERTAINLY ISNT MUCH TO FEEL SYMPATHETIC FOR..... i say this bc. almost all the other TQ characters have this moment of ): aw, here's why i should care about and feel bad for you. BUT KAITLYN????? NEVER REALLY OUTRIGHT HAS THAT MOMENT,..... it's almsot like they threw her in there and threw in her characteristics last second.... nothing's really established w/ her. you just. you just keeo finding new stuff about her as the game goes on. like. oh. shes a good shot. oh. she cares about abi. and shit like that. im probably explaining this so terribly rn but hopefully some sense can be made from this scramble. it's just.... thye toook away the interesting aspect(s) of emily'scharacter (her anxiety, her fear of death, her complex to be protected while being fully capable of protecting herslef in times of danger etc etc) and thus gave us kaitlyn. to me she just. she isnt that interesting character wise! there isnt much there for me to grow attached to! people only like her bc shes associated w/ dylan! like shes one of those characters where you sort of HAVE to mold and shape into something that's familiar and Good

re reading htis it really sounds like i don't like her fdjkdg BUT I DO I PROMISE.... i gotta stick w/ my asian girls

//

abi but for real: 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 do i even need to say anything? its like supermassive made a character purposely JessCore or something like that. i like. haven’t gone In Depth abt why i got so fucked up over what everyone else did to her during the camp fire scene but. know that it hit a little toooooo fucking close to home. like. I Could See Me Sitting There In Abi’s Spot and it HUUUUUUURT!!!!!!!!!!!! like ): seeing her avert her gaze and how she was fumbling over her words i ))): LIKE. AUGHH. esp after being asked THAT question? since not sleeping w/ anyone by this age is seen as “abnormal”? i could feel that so bad man ): no one deserves to be singled out like that. esp not a VERY much autistic girl who is pretty clear to be on the “outside” of the group. bc she’s not “normal” or not “like everyone else here” and it’s just. fuck you all fr choke. enough of that. i just. she’s so fucking cute too? like girl i love you so MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! her lil like. expressive noises and shit are so awesome and make me happy fnsjfjsf you only see them like twice BUT. you don’t really see that from the other characters. so basically: stims. autism. yeah. they rly made abi a little TOO realistic nd relatable fnsjfnnsf but ohhhh man do i love her oh so much. after the camp fire scene i was just. she’s my friend now fuck all of you

//

laura but for real: I MISSED HER AND MAX SOOOOO BAD WHILE PLAYING THROUGH CHAPTERS 1 - 6 SKLDDFJDF i was literally so upset and sad seeing that they werent at camp after the prologue. du eto like literallty all of the characters getting on my nerves I WANTED THEM TO COME HOME SOOOO BAD.... AFTER THE CAMP FIRE SCENE EVERYTHING WENT DOWNHILL AND I MIIISSSEED THEM SOO MUCH i needed them back for real. other than that though, i dont have much to say about laura. i mean of course she's my BELOVED i mean look at my user but. yeah! i think about her often and project some anger shit onto her<3 specifically towards travis for specific and personal reasons<3 even if it's not like character stuff or w/e i think about, i often just rotate herin my mind. i love her so much. plus she's literally a combo of emily and sam aka my 2 fave UD characters how could i not love her?

//

max but for real: i honestly dont have much to say abt him? and i suppose he and laura arent /technically/ a part of the other counselors since they never, yk, showed up. but w/e fdfjgndg i think he's neat. i honestly thought he was like one of the only Good Guys of the game when first playing through,. and that still holds true! i still see ryan as a great guy too though. max just seems like such a good partner and guy in general and i love him. don't necessarily think about him much but as i said before, he's my bf (real)

[lunatic-fandom-space]

Das Schicksal derer von Habsburg (1928) [The Fate of those of Habsburg]

This one was very interesting but I kind of struggle to really say anything about it. I can tell you that I had a better time with it than with Elisabeth von Österreich (1931) though.

This was a silent film about the slow death of the austrian imperial family and monarchy, starting with Rudolf's engagement and subsequent suicide all the way through to Emperor Karl's forced departure from Vienna after WWI. Honestly, it kind of had the same issue as Elisabeth von Österreich where I couldnt get emotionally invested at all, but I think I was less bothered by it because I realized pretty quickly that this film was basically just running through the all important events without really trying for emotional investment, if that makes sense. Like, this movie spends most of its time with Rudolf and arguably fleshes his 'fate' out the most, but then obviously it keeps going after his death, and after that was when I really got this feeling that it was essentially just listing a bunch of historical events involving the Habsburgs + the way they died with accompanying visuals, but that feeling was already there during Rudolf's section of the film, it just got more blatant as it went on.

I guess Im maybe a little disappointed because the title of the film made me think it was going to be more about how this family or the whole system of monarchy was doomed from the start, maybe looking at the whole thing with a sense of tragic inevitability kinda like Elisabeth: das Musical sorry I keep bringing it up, but it wasnt that. And that's not the film's fault, I just assumed stuff based on nothing but the title and again, it became clear to me what it was actually doing very quickly, so it wasnt a big deal.

I dont have much to say in the way of pacing and editing which means its pretty alright, but I will say that there was something kind of mesmerizing about it. A lot of it might just be the fact that this was only my second silent movie so my brain still registers it as 'very interesting' by default, but I know a big part of it was definitely the damaged film. When this movie was restored there were bits that had no completely undamaged film available so they had to use film that was already decaying, and now there's parts of the movie that are framed by this white rot on either side, and I just think it looks beautiful. I seriously wonder why decaying film effects arent as common in art as glitch effects or fuzzy vcr effects when theyre so evocative. Also, if Im already talking about technical stuff, the version that I watched was completely silent and didnt have any kind of score, and I thought silent films usually had scores that would then be the audio playing over them whenever they got restored. Is that actually the case and is this film meant to have a score, or am I getting my silent film facts wrong here? I mean, the fact that there wasnt a score didnt bother me too much, it was pretty unusual watching a movie without any kind of sound, but thats about it.

Anyway, I realize that saying "what I like about this movie is that time passed and it was partially destroyed but that partial destruction looks really cool" sounds like a real backhanded compliment, so now Im gonna talk about the other two things that stuck out to me in a positive way. Oh man, that also sounds like a backhanded compliment doesnt it. Listen, these arent the only things that I liked in film I otherwise find bad, these are just the only things I liked in a film that I otherwise dont feel very strongly about. Those things being—

Erna Morena as Elisabeth. I really liked her performance. Unfortunately I cant really articulate why, I think she had a weariness about her that enjoyed and I liked the way she carried herself.

That scene where Rudolf kisses Franz Joseph's hand. The context is, Franz Joseph is telling Rudolf that Mary is gonna leave Vienna so that she cant interfere with him and Stephanie, and that he is to be locked in his room or in the palace until she's gone, but Rudolf begs him to atleast let him see her one last time time so he's like "Fine, but you have to promise me that it really will be the last time you two see each other" and holds out his hand. Rudolf shakes it after a long moment moment of hesitation and then he kisses his hand before laying his cheek against it, and the Franz Joseph puts his hand on the back of his hand in a kindof embrace. oughhhhhhhhh. Its definitely because Ive had a real fascination with masculinity and specifically father-son relationships lately, but that scene is gonna live rent free in my head for a while

So yeah. In conclusion: it was an interesting watch but mostly by virtue of being a very old silent film. It ocurred to me after briefly skimming the wikipedia page that I would have probably found the actual film more interesting (or atleast had more interesting things to say about it) if it didnt deliberately avoid having any kind of political lean, but that doesnt change my opinion of the film so whatever

And now here's three small things that I noticed that I couldnt mention elsewhere before you go:

The makeup and costuming was so 1920s. I have previously said that I am not a history person, and Im not, but I do know some basic stuff about historical fashion and it was honestly really distracting. That was kinda the case with the costuming in Elisabeth von Österreich (1931) as well (although there it was mostly the hair and makeup) but this was a whole other level

There's this scene where Rudolf and Mary first meet and theres this instant chemistry and they start dancing together and then Rudolf just GRIPS her neck and pulls her into a kiss, it was so forceful. I dont think it was supposed to read as aggressive, I'm pretty sure it was just meant to be passionate but idk, it was weird. They dont have any other weird interactions here, for the rest of the film its just pretty standard, old-timey man-woman interactions. And then obviously the suicide, which felt only slightly less sudden than it did in Elisabeth von Österreich

I dont remember at what point in the film this was, I wanna say about a third of the way through, but I was thinking a little about Stephanie and how she was portayed here vs how she was portrayed in Rudolf: Affaire Mayerling, the only other piece of media I have seen so far where she gets focused on quite a bit. I noted that she was a lot more sympathetic whereas the musical portrayed her as a lot more antagonistic, and just as I finished that thought, Stephanie arrives in Mayerling after she heard that Rudolf went there with a certain baroness instead of coming to her, sees Mary sitting outside with Rudolf and some friends of theirs, walks up to her and hits her with either her fan or maybe some kind of stick, I dont remember. so that was kinda funny

[15ktherapy]

hiiiii okay stupid time.

SO. I’d like to start off with some YouTubers!

my first one is astralspiff— he’s mainly around the indie horror scene, fnaf n shit yknow, he’s known for speedrunning and breaking shit. I quite like him and his videos tend to be longer, so if you know anything about security breach and wanna watch one guy tear it up, I’d recommend watching some of his shit. although be warned if you start binging his content hes made like two dream dragon city jokes when he’s been sponsered (yes I know how many I’ve been keeping count. sorry for my droloisms) . he’s never said anything like outright bad against dream he’s just been like. “DREAM DRAGON peepeoStare” as far as I’m aware. I let him get away with it because it’s been just the tiniest slights and he’s very involved in speedrunning communities. let’s be real the dream cheated minecrfat speedrun thing is the least of our problems.

TWO. RTgame. he does variety, his vids are shorter. I’ve been watching him for I think five years so he has to go on this list. be warned he is MILDLY, very MILDLY, involved in the mcyt community as he’s been in mcc and used to make some videos with wilbur (fun fact tahts actually how I found out about wil, way back when)

THREE. literally. among us lobbies done by itshafu and dumbdog. there’s this group I watch of those two and a few others (they’re kinda otv aligned I believe) and I quite like them, and Tina’s in some of their older lobbies!! there’s so much content there it’s practically endless for a good while.

oh and if u want like horror arg whatever stuff watch nightmind/nick nocturne.

okay. now. if you want minecraft? I have to recommend you hermits. IM AORRRRYYYY. I’m sorry I’m sorry but I really have a lot of fun with them. now I’m not gonna start with grian and scar, although I do like them, because their stans are kind of. rabid.

SO! my recommendations areee

builders:

bdoubleo100. he’s insane. he’s so dramatic and so fun. he’s also a good builder whoda thought. he’s very silly, I quite like him. he is incredibly dramatic and loud though so if you’re looking for something chill you will not find it with bdubs. he is a yeller.

pearlescentmoon! she’s pretty chill but will also be Incredibly silly at a moments notice. she likes bits. she’s also a really good builder whoda thought! her stuff usually gets compared to literal artistry.

zombiecleo!!! cleo is devious but usually low energy. she is like the perfect example for a mean bisexual. she’s scary if you watch any pov but her own. if you watch like an etho pov he’s terrified of her and SHE HERSELF is terrifying. but if you watch her pov she’s like “I have no idea what I’m doing what the hell���“ I think it’s because she used to be a teacher. many a hermit has attested for her effective scolding. mostly bdubs.

redstoners:

I have to say etho. ethoslab. so bad. I love etho so bad he’s so weird and silly and a little awkward. he’s a bit of a recluse but he’s awfully endearing. I don’t know shit about redstone so I can’t like actually attest to his skill, but I can tell you he has invented things and they are named after him. he has the longest running Minecraft let’s play. look up fundy hbomb awesamdude or tubbo and the ethoslab right after one of their names and you will see clips of etho being gushed over.

tangotek! he sounds like a cartoon character he literally could’ve been a voice actor I bet. he’s got the perfect voice for it. he also makes a lot of weird noises. they are very funny. I once again cannot attest for redstone skill because I am an idiot, but he’s been in a Minecraft cave for like six months making a game IN THE GAME. he’s fun. also a little crazy. mostly fun.

docm. there is. things wrong with him. if you poke him he will sucker punch you. watching people mess with him is so fucking funny. you get someone to blow up one of his walls? he gives you ur number one sought after item on a silver platter and then it blows up ur friends front door. you fill his base with chickens as revenge and he not only puts some of those chickens into your base, but he also DUPES THOUSANDS OF DRAGON EGGS and then places like a few hundred all over u and ur neighbors bases. you challenge him to a robot fight and he builds additional robots after you both lose to blow you up. you write live laugh love in his base and he replaces it with a fancy sign with an animation and then it blows up ur rebellious camp outside his base…………you blow up his tunnel bore accidentally, beg for forgiveness, and he puts STATIC WITHER SKULLS, not wither heads, wither SKULLS, THE PROJECTILES that withers SHOOT AT YOU, up above ur base to just sit there menacingly. and then all that other stuff I just listed before the tunne bore thing, actually happens after with you and that other guy you blew up the tunnel bore with.

OKAAAAYYY tv shows. honestly a little while ago I watched like every marvel movie over the span of a week and a half just because I had the time to waste.

ummmm, I’d recommend rewatching old stuff you enjoy and haven’t seen in a while-refreshers can be quite enjoyable.

most of my Netflix recs are cartoons ngl anyway here we go. * will be elaborated on after

disenchantment, kipo and the age of wonderbeasts, CENTAURWORLD*, the sea beast (that’s actually a movie), Carmen sandiego, the umbrella academy, community, sweet tooth*, wendell and wild )another movie), the imperfects*, I am not okay with this*.

*centaurworld is. well it’s stupid. it’s mostly stupid but the VILLAIN… oh the villain of that show is. chefs kiss. if you have the time to watch it I’d recommended it but it will be. fairly stupid as times. fair warning.

*sweet tooth just got a second season, and I actually haven’t finished it because of Netflix shenanigans and also. as a Netflix original it will probably be cancelled. so I watched up to the end of season 2 episode six. it works as an overall happy ending except one thing that I choose to ignore ^-^

* the imperfects. I believe this how has been cancelled and does. have a cliff hanger ending? but like. the overarching plot was solved it just kinda pulled something out at the end that you can just ignore I think.

*I am not okay with this was cancelled after its first season and I will never forgive Netflix for that. it does have a cliff hanger ending but I loved that show so much I’d recommend it anyway.

Disney plus recs I guess?

watch the Star Wars clone wars shit. it’s good. I promise. the original series has like seven seasons you’ll be eating a while. if you watch that I’d recommend the bad batch after.

honestly I’d recommend miraculous ladybug. if you want to watch stupid stupid shit. it’s a so bad it’s good (to me at least) half the time I was scolding at my tv like I was marrinettes mother.

I’d recommend the three guardians of the galaxy films.

and yhhhh idk what else.

I’m tempted to rec music but I’d be here so much longer. maybe I’ll make a separate thing for that

okaaaay postponing talkies bc I kinda already did it so I’m gonna do another silly think instead called recommending other shit because with the interpersonal fucking drama we get I personally at least like to pick up something completely different for the time being to focus on

[iamunder-urbed]

josh x reader? like how would the whole game play out if the reader was josh's love interest? just a thought idk

Being Josh Washington's love interest

gn reader!

warnings: reader gets tied up(?), mentions of death, this is not very fluffy im sorry but is anything in until dawn rlly fluffy?

A/n: hey anon! ty for requesting I appreciate it sm, i am literally in love w Josh Washington so im glad he is part of my first request. sorry if this is a little bad, I haven't written anything in a bit:)

Before the events that happened with his siblings, the two of you had a strong connection, maybe best friends that are a little too close to just be friends.

Josh's "prank" would go different ways depending on if you were in on the prank involving Hannah

If you weren't involved, he would mostly keep you out of the messed-up shit he planned to get back at the people who caused his sisters death. Of course, if you're invited to the lodge, you can't just be excluded and be special.

Josh blames everyone for the disappearance of his sisters, even himself, so of course you as well must be held accountable, but he'll go "easy" on you because he has feelings for you.

With the mask on, he watches as you call out for him, the lights in the lodge shut off making the moment more eerie. If you're brave enough you'd be able to escape him for a little bit, just to be tied to a chair until he reveals the truth or one of your friends find you. He would probably keep his eye on you the most, making sure you don't get harmed or anything.

After its revealed Josh is the psycho, he tries to act like it was just a prank, a harmless joke. If you decide to forgive him, he'll tell you why he did it and how he didn't mean to get anyone hurt or killed. You also try to help find him after he's taken by the wendigo, eventually finding him and admitting your feelings for each other at the right time, before Hannah gets him.

If you were involved with the prank on Hannah, you'll have the same fate as the others, enduring the stupid pranks he planned out for everyone. Once he pulls the mask off his face infront of everyone, he's tied up outside by Chris and Mike, with you following behind them.

He tries to guilt trip you, saying you helped cause the disappearance of his sisters and how he thought you guys had something special. He also throws in stupid little insults, or you'll just have to listen to him ramble on about off topic stuff, like ordering pizza for the night.

If you're taken by the wendigo during his little prank, he panics and tries to convince the others to let him help look for you instead of being tied up. If you're found alive and with the group when he is found in the mines, he apologizes profusely and follows you like a lost puppy, making sure you're not taken again.

If you're found dead or not found at all he blames himself for your death, telling his friends he never wanted anyone to get hurt, especially you.

[aemiron-main]

hot take but people should be able to analyze whatever they want in the show and analysis of Mike’s sexuality and criticism of other analysis of it can and should absolutely exist. not baseless hate but analysis and I’m not gonna lie I don’t like the idea that we should just “keep the peace” and not analyze it because a.) it doesn’t have to be a fight/something that disturbs the peace?? if you’re that pressed about a different analysis that you disagree with, go for a walk. and b.) things in the show don’t just stop existing because people stop analyzing them. and they shouldn’t stop analyzing them. people can and should have different opinions and instead of trying to push for nobody to share their analysis/thoughts on it, we should push for everyone/whoever wants to share their thoughts on it to do so.

like sorry but I don’t see why it’s a big issue for people to disagree with analysis over a fictional character’s sexuality. people don’t have to agree and that’s okay. people can criticize things that they disagree with and that’s okay. people can be opinionated about what they believe and what they don’t believe and that’s okay.

im not talking about anons being random asshats about it because fuck that noise 100%. I’m saying that I will end up “criticizing” (which sounds too harsh) other viewpoints in my gay Mike analysis, and not even intentionally but simply because I interpret the evidence and text of the show differently in a way that conflicts with other viewpoints. like sorry but that criticism shouldn’t be a big issue?? i don’t get upset when somebody criticizes my gay Mike analysis. I respond to it, match the tone of the person sending it/try to respond as evenly and nicely as I can but I am a passionate person so I get more excited unintentionally.

like sorry again but sometimes analysis involves saying things that conflict with other viewpoints??? and we should be able to coexist with that conflict?? again this is analysis over a character’s sexuality, if you find it so deeply offensive to analyze it and think that we should just keep the peace and not analyze it then idk what to tell you because imo everything in this show is fair game for analysis.

My gay Mike analysis is going to talk about other interpretations of Mike’s sexuality! I get asks asking me about bi Mike vs gay Mike and I don’t think it’s bad to analyze or draw comparisons between the two from an analysis perspective and explain why I feel like gay Mike checks some narrative boxes that no other sexuality for Mike does.

Everyone absolutely has their right to their headcanons, but I shouldn’t have to agree with those headcanons. The exact same thing goes for analysis.

Like sorry for pointing out that IMO Mike doesn’t express attraction to women?? Sorry for pointing out that IMO he doesn’t align with definitions of bisexuality but instead aligns more with homosexuality?? That’s my opinion, based in analysis, just like how other people have other opinions based in analysis, opinions that oppose mine. We should be able to criticize others’ opinions (hell not even in a direct attacking way but literally in a what I’ve been DOING way where I just make my own post about any general criticisms I have).

Anyway I just heavily disagree with the “everyone keep the peace and nobody disagree ever” rhetoric and some of the double standards I’m seeing. I’m going to analyze this stuff and draw comparisons between various interpretations of his sexuality and explain why I do or don’t feel that those interpretations are supported by evidence because I want to, because it’s in the show, and because I disagree with the idea that such analysis and comparison is inherently harmful. I will draw comparisons between bi Mike vs gay Mike vs unlabelled Mike and talk about not why I think the others are inherently “bad,” but rather whether or not I feel like there’s evidence in the show to support them. Either deal with that or don’t, but that’s what I’m going to be doing! If you see analysis as “drama,” then please perhaps sit down and consider why you’re so personally offended by differing opinions/analysis. I’ve been talking all day about how people can’t seem to look past their own biases and instead want to make everything into a personal issue and see it solely through their own elms, and the same applies here. My differing analysis and criticism is not a direct attack on anybody. If you think it is, reconsider some things about your perception.

I’m literally a random dude on the internet doing analysis. If you are so deeply upset by me doing analysis that you disagree with, please go calm down or something. You don’t have to listen to me! You don’t have to give my analysis any weight. But I’m allowed to do that analysis and am not morally in the wrong for doing that analysis or comparing those interpretations and drawing conclusions about them.